Actions

Work Header

Gender is only in a Vessel

Summary:

Angel souls don't have genders, only their vessels do. Why does Castiel not feel male, even though he's in the body of a male? And why does he keep bumping into Arrow, the only person he has met who has the exact same gender feelings as him?

Chapter 1: Part I: Fashion boundaries

Chapter Text

Arrow knew his face from a while ago. Those two brothers and their weird friend that had saved their brother from being killed. The group that saved him seemed to be so close-knit, so why was the weird friend standing alone in front of a building that Arrow only knew for the singular shop inside? They approached the dark-haired man carefully before tapping him on the shoulder. The man turned around to see them and smiled nervously.

‘Hello there, Arrow,’ He said, looking at them.

‘Hey… I’m sorry I can’t remember your name. What are you doing here?’ They asked, pushing their blue hair out of their eyes.

‘My name is Castiel. And, I don’t know. I don’t know why I am here,’ He replied, sounding almost scared.

‘First off, can I call you Cas? Castiel is a bit lengthy,’ Arrow waited for his nod of approval before continuing, ‘Well, come in with me. I was just heading into here anyway. You might be able to find why you’re here.’ They took Castiel’s hand and was surprised when he walked in with them. The shop was a gender-neutral boutique, full of clothes that were genderless. The store was frequented by people who didn’t feel comfortable shopping in huge centres; in places that would be separated into sections for the binary. Cas looked around, browsing all of the clothes on display. Arrow saw his gaze landing on a loose white shirt, that was buttoned at the back with floaty sleeves.

‘You should try it on Cas. It would suit you,’ Arrow said, ‘No one judges here, trust me. I’ve been coming here for the past year to buy my clothes.’

‘I will… I-I’m just nervous. I’ve never seen myself in that kind of shirt,’ Cas looked curiously at it, almost puppy-like, which made Arrow giggle. They pointed to a simple black jumpsuit with spaghetti straps and flared legs, grinning.

‘Those would go well with it. We can see if we can find your size. What do you have to lose?’ Arrow asked. Cas nodded and walked over with them to grab the items in his size, whilst Arrow rushed to grab a plaid shirt and some boy-cut jeans for themself. They rushed Cas to the change rooms, and went into the one next to his, pulling on the shirt, and the jeans. They caught sight of themselves in the mirror and smiled when they saw the flat chest underneath their shirt.

‘Cas, are you ready?’ Arrow asked into the next change room.

‘Yeah, I just need a bit of help,’ Castiel replied, ‘do you mind?’

‘Of course not, just come out,’ Arrow replied, coming out to see Cas looking really nice in the outfit. They saw the lines of the clothing fitting his figure perfectly, except for the trouble with the button at the back. Arrow quickly fastened it, and brushed down the sleeves of the shirt.

‘You look amazing! You really should get this!’ Arrow exclaimed, ‘I found what I came for, and I’ve just gotta get a couple of things for me and finish up your look, so we can go. Get changed and see if there is anything else you want to try on.’ Both grinned at each other before and putting on their original clothes. Cas felt nearly dismayed at the idea of putting on his trench coat again, but still shrugged it onto his shoulders. He came out of the change room, and saw Arrow browsing around looking for binders and boxers. Cas caught up to them, and smiled.

‘W-what do you want to finish up my look? You… You said you had ideas,’ Cas smiled softly, trying to get a grip on his voice.

‘I have lots, starting with shoes. What size are you?’ Arrow smirked. They had eyes on a pair of small heels with roman straps that would look really nice with the outfit Cas was going to buy.

‘I don’t know, my feet look a little bigger that yours. So maybe a size up from you?’ Cas suggested.

‘Okay. Try these on,’ Arrow went to grab the shoes, and helped Cas into them. Cas stood on them with ease, and was able to walk around very easily. Arrow was surprised with his steady walking, and smiled.

‘Okay, then one more thing,’ Arrow ran to pick up a dainty necklace and ran back to hand it to Castiel. It had a little pendant with angel wings on it.

‘I remembered. My brother, he told me about you. He told me about the angel who protected him from a hellhound,’ they smiled and clipped it around his neck.

‘It’s… It’s perfect, Arrow. I didn’t realise he saw my wings, I always keep them hidden. Thank you,’ Cas replied, ‘Let me pay for it.’

‘Absolutely not. I owe you thanks for saving my brother. He’s pretty much all I’ve got, considering my parents are working all the time,’ they replied, ‘Plus this was fun, I enjoyed helping you out.’ Arrow picked up the clothes from both of them and went off to pay. Castiel followed them and continued to give his thanks.

‘I let you pay for my clothes, so I’m paying for ice cream,’ Cas said, shifting from foot to foot nervously, ‘if you wanna go that is?’

‘I would never turn down free ice cream. And I would love to grab ice cream with you,’ Arrow smiled, before they both made a beeline for the dessert parlour across the street.

Chapter 2: Part I.V: Ice creams and Pronouns

Summary:

Epilogue to Part I, where Castiel discovers organic ice cream and the magic of validating pronouns.

Chapter Text

Arrow sat with Castiel outside, the park bench providing more comfort than the hot metal chairs outside the ice cream parlour. The warm summer-autumn weather combined the soft amber light of the afternoon sun with golden brown leaves falling around them. Castiel smiled, this ice cream didn’t taste as molecular as others he had tried when he was out with Dean and Sam.

‘You had ice cream before?’ Arrow asked him softly.

‘Yeah, it just always tastes like molecules. But this one tastes good,’ Castiel replied.

‘It’s organic. The owner is a friend of my mum, he makes his ice cream from fresh ingredients from the local farm, about thirty minutes away,’ Arrow explained.

‘Is that why he called you Alice?’ Castiel asked. Arrow winced at the name but nodded.

‘He doesn’t know what I am. I haven’t told him yet,’ They said, ‘But what about you? You worked out why you went to that shop?’

‘I think… I think I’m like you. Angels don’t have genders, because our vessels give us our gender. But I can’t help but feel that even though my vessel is male, I don’t feel male. I don’t feel like any gender. I just feel like an angel. I don’t feel like anything,’ Cas said, staring out over the park. Arrow smiled and looked at him.

‘Agender,’ They said, ‘That’s the feeling you’re describing. It’s not part of the gender binary, it’s non-binary.’

‘Is that what you are? Non-binary?’ Cas asked.

‘Yeah. Technically non-binary is an umbrella term, but I use it because it feels like me,’ Arrow replied, ‘I use they/them pronouns because I don’t feel female or male. What pronouns do you think you would use?’

‘I think they/them. Those ones sound good. Maybe if we meet up more, then we can work together to find me,’ Cas answered. Arrow nodded before giving him, no, THEM, a side hug.

‘Well, Castiel, I’m going to give you my phone number, I have a work shift to get to. Text me whenever you need help, or you just want to hang out, or you wanna try something different,’ Arrow said, before snatching Cas’s phone and inputting their number. Cas smiled and did the same with Arrow’s phone, putting an angel emoji on the name. They both bid each other farewell, as Arrow went off to their family home, anticipating the pain they would receive from their father’s hand for being a minute late. But they knew they would be okay. They had Cas to talk to once it was over. Despite the bruises on their face, they mustered up a smile, because they knew they had their angel and a new future with someone like them.

Series this work belongs to: