Chapter Text
And there he went... off on his horse... off to see his sister... off to basically die with his sister.... his true love...
Those were the words that were in Briennes head the night he left her. She remembers that night sadly too well. She had rolled over to look into his deep eyes but he wasn’t there staring back. Instead his side of their bed was empty. Their bed... their bed... the bed where they did things couples would do.. married couples. That’s what Brienne thought was going to potentially happen. Married to the Lannister. The Kingslayer. The handless Knight. But instead he was going back to Cersei. Back to the reason why there was going to be another war. The woman who Brienne hated so so much.
Now she was left alone in the Yard. Shivering in the Winterfell cold. Shivering because of the now emptiness in her body. She truly loved him. She thought he was the one. But obviously not.
She walked back to their... her room and shut the door tight. She collapsed against the door... tears streaming down her face. She felt weak. She hadn’t cried this much in a long time. Crying over a man. That wasn’t like her. As she cried out for him she couldn’t breathe that well. She felt like the time her mother had died back when she was only little. Her best friend was gone.
Those tears were gone by the next morning. Life went back to normal for Brienne. She walked with Sansa in the morning. Went at her post for the afternoon and ate dinner with the lords and ladies of Winterfell. People stared at her however, with pity in their eyes. They knew about the relationship, they knew that there was “something” between the lady knight and the Kingslayer.
Life went on...
....
The war was over.... Cersei was dead... Daenerys was dead... Jaime was dead...
Brienne was now Lord commander of the Kingsguard. Bran the broken was named king of the now Six Kingdoms. She had a title that she never thought she would ever have. She was living her best life... until she found out she was pregnant.
Pregnant with the Lannister baby. Pregnant with his baby.
Pregnant with Jaime’s baby.
Those tears came back that night she found out. She never thought she could every have children due to the war her body had gone through and she was shocked at that fact. But what upset her largely was that she was carrying a dead mans child. A man she no longer cared for until this moment. She cried herself to sleep, trying to figure out what she was going to do with her life now.
She had never imagined herself to be a mother. The reality of childbirth put the fear of the seven in her. She lost her own mother due to the childbed and now she may loose her own life. She didn’t know how to be a mother. She didn’t know how to care for someone else’s life apart from her own.
She was in the Kingsguard. She was meant to protect the king. But now with a babe in her belly she wouldn’t be able to. She wanted to keep the baby. She wanted to be able to make her father “proud”... and maybe even for Jaime.
That talk with Bran was dreaded but it went well. She was scared of what he was going to say. Whether he was going to be angry... mad... upset? He knew that conversation was coming. Bran had a way where he knew what was happening and what the future would hold.
She was to be sent off to Tarth to live with her father and the babe would be born there. The child wouldn’t be a bastard but would have a name. “Tarth”. Bran understood who the father was and knew how much it would mean to Brienne to have her baby legitimised. He had the upmost respect for Brienne and allowed her to be able to do what she wanted to do.
Brienne left in her 4th moon of pregnancy and moved to her fathers isle. She was back home after all those years. Her father welcomed her with loving arms, holding his only child tightly, her belly beginning to show, full with child.
She felt at peace at Tarth. She had her father right beside her now, his warmth gave her strength to keep going. She hadn’t told her father when she was writing to say she was coming back home for a while that she was with child and was full of fear when she had docked the boat in the harbour.
When she said those words “I’m pregnant” to her father, his face lit up. He didn’t care at all who the father was, of the child would have a name to a family, all he cared was that his daughter was well and safe at home and hopefully happy. He laid his hand gently on her bump and held his daughter close. He promised to protect both of them... to be a grandfather was all he ever wished and now his dreams had came true.
She spent her days walking about her home isle, meeting people she hadn’t seen in years. Everyone was happy that the Evenstars daughter was home and with child. She didn’t realise that she often held her bump, like a comfort toy to a child, holding on for safety.
Those days in Tarth were spent in peace. She wasn’t in war anymore. Her body could rest from most of the physical and emotional pain... apart from some aspects of her life.
She couldn’t spar that often as she would have liked due to the child. She knew she needed to take it easy due to what happened to her mother. She wanted what was best for the child and as well as herself, something she hadn’t done in a long long time. However she took over the sparring lessons with the young children who lived on the island. Every morning before lessons she took them out and taught both boys and girls that basic dance of fighting, something she was never allowed to do as a child due to it being frowned upon due to her gender. That never stopped her however.
....
It was nearing her 8th moon of pregnancy when she had an unexpected visitor. A vision of the past. It was a person who she didn’t know how much she had missed until he appeared in front of her at the dining halls.
Tears had began in her eyes, a mix of both her hormones and overall emotional build up over the past number of moons. Brienne bent down and hugged Tyrion. Jaimes brother. Tyrion held her close, crying out. He knew so well about Jaime and Briennes past and had always hoped that he would do what was right and stay with Brienne for the rest of his life.
The child began to move in Briennes belly, showing their support to her. She smiled and laid her hand there, taking Tyrion’s hand as well and laying it on her belly. He looked up at her deep blue eyes and smiled.
“If only he was....”
Brienne looked down, she couldn’t say anything. She couldn’t bare to say his name anymore. He had cause her so so much pain over the past number of moons.
Brienne went to bed that night, a bundle of emotions over her babies dead father. Crying how she may not be able to cope without him. Not knowing how to be a mother to this child.
....
Brienne had just gotten comfortable in her bed when her waters broke. The worst was yet to come for her. All the fear came into her body at that point when she got up and the first contractions had began. The pain wasn’t that sore, she had been through worse battles.
The woman who came to help her through childbirth was quickly sent for and sent out as soon as she walked in through the doors. Brienne wanted to go through this battle alone. She needed to do this alone. She knew she could win.
Her father knocked on the door a while after the pains had began. She was leaning against the cold stone walls, trying to lower her body temperature when he came in and help to tight to his body.
“You can do this my golden girl. You know it my love. That’s my brave girl”
Tears came out of both of their blue eyes. They both knew the dark reality of childbirth. Brienne lost her mother to the childbed, Selwyns wife. He gave her one last hug, promised to be outside the room until the child was born and left her to continue her labour.
The pains had gotten worse in the few hours of childbirth. She knew she was near the end soon. The contractions were close as they were at the start. She felt the urge to push
On the edge of her bed, she knelt down and began to push. The pain was the worst she had ever felt in her life. No war scars had felt this way. The women were right, childbirth was the worst pain ever.
A long push later the head was born, the child let out a quiet noise, a meow, the lion cub was near born. One large push later and Brienne felt the baby leave her body and landed on the blankets laid on the ground.
Brienne began to cry as she lifted her child into her night shirt. All fear of motherhood left her. Her baby was in her arms. She looked down and saw she had a daughter. A golden lion cub. Her blonde locks were beautiful. She was beautiful.
The childbirth woman came in after a few moments, telling Selwyn he would meet his grandchild soon. The cord was cut and she cleaned up both baby and mother. After a glance over, her daughter was healthy overall.
Brienne took her daughter and fed her, not wanting another woman to feed to child. The bond with her baby was so so important and she felt so full with pride and love for the little girl.
Selwyn met his granddaughter with tears streaming down his face. He was so proud of both of them. So proud of how his daughter did. He held both of them in his large arms and embraced his family.
....
Joanna Lannister was the golden child. She had the looks of both her father and mother. She had a mother who loved her dearly and a grandfather who spoiled her. The rest of her large extended family loved her... but this journey doesn’t end her. Life in Westeros wasn’t that simple...