Chapter Text
Dean was so tired that he considered asking Sam to knock him out.
It’s been three days since he slept, he was crawling the walls, but no matter what he did, sleep stayed at bay.
This wasn’t normal.
And Dean had a sinking suspicion that it was a curse. I mean, what else could it be? Besides, they just finished a witch hunt in Washington, well, kind of finished. The witch escaped.
Most likely cursed his ass in the process.
He should tell Sam.
Except Sam was angry at him and didn’t want to talk with him. Except about cases or to snap at him.
“Dude, what’s up with you?”
Speak of the devil.
Dean shook his head, of course, his brother noticed. How could he not.
“You look like shit and you haven’t eaten, are you getting sick or something?”
“What, all of a sudden you decided to care?” Dean snapped at him, because fuck you Sam, you’re the one who decided to be business partners and not brothers.
“I never fucking sa-”
“I think it’s a curse” Dean cut him off again, this time summoning enough courage to actually look him in the eye. “I can’t sleep”
Sam stared at him, his expression unreadable.
“Maybe it’s just insomnia, you’ve had-”
“Whatever” Dean cut him off again and turned to walk away. Obviously, Sam wasn’t interested, so, fuck him.
“No, Dean, wait!” a hand grabbed his shoulder. “Why do you think it’s a curse?” he proceeded to ask in a gentler tone, and once the older man looked at him, he was met with a concerned stare.
Huh.
“Cause I’m fucking tired, and every time i try to sleep, it just stays at bay. No matter what. Fuck, I’ve tried drinking, i tried fucking sleeping pills and they just came back up. That’s… it’s not normal.”
“So, witches, huh?”
“Yeah, what else”
Sam nodded, gesturing for him to sit down.
“We need to get back home, find a reverse spell or something.”
If only.
“Their spells were home made, do you think we have anything like that? I mean, we don’t know anything and the more important part is, why me? She hated you, but cursed me, like, how does this logic work, I mean-”
“Okay, okay, let’s just stick with the part where we need to fix this, okay?” Sam tried to look comforting, most likely because Dean was slightly rocking back and forth like a head case and was freaking him out. “When was the last time you slept?”
“Three days ago.”
“Fuck” Sam cursed, and Dean fully understood it. Time was running out.
“We are two days away from the bunker, fuck !” Sam stood up, holding his head.
Yeah, he was fucked.
“I’m gonna call Cas, maybe he’s around and could help, but the best way would be to find the witch who did it, but it might take weeks…” Sam was pacing the room, Dean could practically see the circles going around in his head. No witch - no cure. Bunker is too far away and it’s gonna take awhile to find a reverse spell, if there is one at all. Dean should have told him sooner. If Cas can’t help, Dean is fucked. Should probably tell Dean it’s gonna be okay, even if it’s a lie. That was the most possible scenario Sam is going through.
“Shit, okay, man, how about you just lie down, don’t do anything, just save your energy, okay? We’ll figure this out.”
What energy? Dean wanted to ask. He was burned out.
But he did as he was told.
Sam didn’t waste any time. Mostly, because there wasn’t any time to waste.
Once again, life or death.
Naturally.
And Dean looked already half dead.
So he called everyone he could think of, but no one helped, no one knew anything like this.
The only good thing was that Cas was a day’s drive away, so, they should drive up to meet him, it’s faster.
The most unsettling thing was Dean not insisting on driving.
Sure, he was tired, but even with half of his blood on the ground, he’d insist on it. That was just such a Dean thing to do.
This might be worse than he originally thought.
So it was a relief when he saw Castiel waiting for them in front of a motel called “elephant rooms”. I mean, seriously?
“Thank fucking god, Cas, I don’t know what to do” Sam didn’t even bother with hello, he was officially in a panic mode, jumped out of the car like it was on fire.
“You said it was a curse?”
“I think so, I mean, we’ve tangled with a few witches back in Washington, one escaped, never saw her putting a curse though.”
“And you said a sleep curse?”
“Yeah, he hasn’t slept in three days, looks like someone had run him over with a car and he’s just so quiet , it’s unsettling.”
“I booked a room, how about you get him inside and I’ll check him.” Castiel motioned to a room 16.
“Sounds good.” Sam nodded, but at this point he would have agreed to anything.
It didn’t sound good to Dean.
Cas patted him down and held a hand against his chest, but that showed nothing, and he was pretty sure he was screwed at this point.
“Dean, it might be unpleasant, but I need to walk through your memories and see what she did. Maybe this way we’ll know what it is exactly that she did.” Cas suggested.
Of course, Dean grunted and looked like a grumpy five years old, which just made Sam snicker, but eventually agreed.
His mind was a scary place, he didn’t want anyone wandering around there, but one, he was too tired to argue, two, they’d do this anyway, even if they have to tie him down.
Let’s just get this over with.
Cas left pretty quickly after, since he was in the middle of some angel stuff, as he said, but he did figure out what was wrong.
So, the witch did curse Sam.
Kind of.
Honestly, this was the last thing Dean expected to hear, but maybe this was witches way of fixing their broken relationship.
“I told you she fucking hated you, man.” it was Dean’s turn to laugh. And once he started he just couldn't stop.
Sam just stared at him.
“Now- now you’re g-gone have t-to hold my hand!” Dean started laughing again, but a minute later his laughing turned into sobs.
“Dean?” Sam stepped closer, looking at his brother with confusion and concern written all over his face.
Dean was pretty sure he’s gone insane.
He was full on sobbing and he couldn’t stop.
“Dean, what’s wrong?” this time Sam sat down next to him and put a hand on his back, slowly rubbing it, trying to comfort him and most likely figure out whether he needs to be locked in a psych ward or not.
The older brother just shook his head.
He’s never going to live this down.
“Dean, come on, man” Sam sounded actually concerned and almost panicky. “Do you want me to call Cas back…?”
Dean just shook his head and almost threw himself at Sam, seeking comfort and trying to hide himself from the world.
He was freaking Sam out, he knew that much, with his breakdown , because let’s face it, he was having one.
To his relief and surprise, Sam didn’t pull back or push him away, like he secretly feared, but actually hugged him.
Dean melted against him, tears soaking into Sam’s shirt.
“Hey, it’s alright, okay? We’ll figure everything out, it’s okay, we’re okay…” Sam muttered quietly into his ear, trying to calm him down, but it seemed to only make it worse.
If Sam was honest, he’s seen Dean break many times, but he always tried to hide, either that or it came out with violence and bloody fights, but never like this.
Dean was seeking comfort.
This was almost new, he never lets himself be this vulnerable, which meant things were pretty fucking bad.
“Come on, man, you’re exhausted. Lie down, you heard what Cas said. Physical connection. You’ll be fine”
“I’m sorry” Dean muttered and continued to shake. Just then Sam realized that his brother has been apologizing and muttering `I'm sorrys’ for quite some time now. Obviously, he was feeling guilty about all of this and he’s going to feel even more guilty when he actually gets some rest and tarts to think straight.
“Nothing to be sorry for, man. Come on, shoes off.”
Dean was unmovable. Had a faraway look in his eyes and looked like he completely checked out. Sam was seriously considering taking him to a hospital for a check up after this.
But he needs sleep first.
“That’s it, lie down. I’m not going anywhere”
To prove a point, Sam kicked his own shoes off, turned the light off and lied down beside his brother, pulling him closer.
Just like they were kids.
Dean was still trembling, sobs escaping him now and again.
“Go to sleep, Dean. I’ll be here when you wake up.”
Dean did.
Waking up was a nightmare.
Dean felt better but the memories… he wanted to fucking disappear with shame and guilt.
Sam was still lying beside him with his laptop open.
“How are you feeling?” Sam put the laptop down, turning his full attention on Dean.
He just shook his head, words seemed like too much right now.
“I’m gonna get you something to eat and drink, after that you should get some more rest.”
Dean didn’t argue.
Hell, he couldn’t even get words past his lips, it seemed as if he did, he would just crumble to pieces.
It must have been evident, because Sam didn’t pry.
However many minutes later - Dean couldn’t tell - Sam brought him an omelet with a side of bacon.
“Eat. Nourish.” Sam pushes a plate in his hands and sat down next to him. “The plate better be empty after you finish. You need to get your strength back, cause you haven’t been eating in the past few days.”
Dean shot him a look.
“Yeah, i noticed.” Sam nodded. “Now eat.”
Well, shit, Sam was more observative than he gave him credit for.
But the main issue remains. He’s not gonna get any sleep if he’s not in the same fucking bed with Sam. Which is unfair. To both of them.
They need to find a cure for this asap, otherwise Sam’s just gonna hate him even more for forced contact and all.
But damn, the omelet was good. Sam knew how to cook.
At least a few simpler things, anything more complicated and Dean was sure, the kitchen would go up in flames.
Once his plate was empty, sheer exhaustion overtook him.
“You finished?” Sam entered the room again, his hair dripping water, obviously just out of the shower. “Gimme a sec” he went to the kitchen and came back with two steaming cups and gave one to Dean, then planted himself right next to him on the bed. “Drink up. It’s good for you”.
Dean looked at the cup and it was hot chocolate.
He shot a surprised look at his brother, only getting a smirk back.
And then tears were back.
Seriously, what the hell?
He has zero control over his emotions, they’re just waiting to burst open and make Sam lock him up in a padded cell. Or their dungeon, to perform a throughout exoicism.
He sipped his drink, trying to hide tears rolling down his cheeks from Sam, cause he embarrassed himself enough already and granted some strong blackmail material for Sam, but of course, his brother saw right through his bullshit.
“Jeez, Dean, what’s wrong?” Sam put his cup down immediately, leaning to see his face.
The older man shook his head, he didn’t trust his voice right now. Hell, he didn’t want to speak ever again.
“It’s alright, you’re just exhausted. It happens. Drink some more of this and lie down. You’ll feel much better when you wake up, trust me.” Sam talked to him in a gentle tone, which just ripped something inside Dean even deeper.
Cause his brother hadn't talked to him like this in months.
Hell, he barely spoke to him at all. And that just brought back memories of what he lost.
“I’m sorry” he whispered, shaking his head.
If there was one thing he knew, is that Sam deserves better.
This whole situation was still bizzare to Sam.
Sure, he gets it, the curse fucked everything up. But Dean just looked so broken, so sad , it was tearing him up inside to see his older brother like this.
Maybe he was too harsh on him these past few weeks.
Which brings a question, was this some messed up way the witch tried to fix their relationship? A big last fuck you and you’re welcome?
And yeah, it may have made him talk to Dean more, maybe hide his anger, but it was tearing his brother apart. He had no idea what to do.
What if they can’t find the cure? It might wear off in time, Cas said so, but he wasn’t sure.
But the thing was, when he was lying in bed with Dean, one hand put around his waist - yes, okay, they were cuddling - he realized how much this must be on Dean. Mentally.
It might not take a lot to get Dean to sleep now, when he can barely function, but later? He’ll be thinking that he’s burdening Sam with this. And sure, it might be a restriction of his space and time, but it’s not like he can leave Dean without sleep. But also, this way he can keep an eye on him and make sure he actually sleeps - heaven knows he wasn’t before.
So, yeah, a curse.