Chapter Text
(8:05)-we r doing punnett squares dude. im dying.
(8:06)-they r /struggling/ with punnett squares. fml
(8:06)-oh my fuckign go d this is the worst
(8:07)-save me
(8:08)-im so ang r y
(8:12)-I do not know who you are, and you must have the wrong number, but I assume you're in school.
(8:14)-I also assume that you are at least marginally inteligent, given your scorn at others not being able to correctly utilize a Punnett square.
(8:15) -Which, I agree, sounds dreadful.
(8:16)-However, it is school hours, and I would ask you to refrain from texting me at all, but especially in the hours from 8 to 3.
(8:17)-man, idc who the hell u r, i need moral support here, man! this is awful. they r fucking up everything. the article the teacher gave us was frm wikipedia. sos. urgent help needed.
(8:18)-public school is gonna kill me omg
(8:19)-sudden segway to
(8:19)-oh my god
(8:19)-theyre doing it
(8:19)-ooooooooooooohmygoooooooooooooooood they r gonna do it im gonna rip his throat o u t
(8:19)-theyre doign the thing holy fuck
(8:19)-MY BIOLOGY TEACHER IS TALKING ABOUT CREATIONISM HERE WE ARE
(8:19)-FUCK EVERYTHIG IN MY LIFE
(8:20)-IM GOING TO CRY OH YM GO D WHY WOULD YOU DO TH I S NOOOOOOOO
(8:30)(- im in in-school suspension. i started yelling.
(8:30)- i may have also flipped a desk.
(8:30)- first day of school, bruh. how's yours going?
(8:40)- I turned my phone on after class and I find 13 messages from you.
(8:41)- I don't even know who you are, and I'm already positive that you will never stop texting me.
(8:41)- And you are already suspended. Wonderful.
(8:41)- yeah well w/e man he deserved it
(8:43)-I suppose. Although I can't say I approve of the desk-throwing (or your terrible text-speak, honestly, just because we're teenagers doesn't mean we have to act like ridiculously stereotypical ones). Why would creationism be allowed at your school?
(8:44)- i dont fuckin know man its terrifying.
(8:44) also terrifying: ur old-man texting. also i think me. i was terrifying. i was a ball of scientific rage and i almost hit this cool-looking girl in the head with my desk. she had wicked hair man and she had combat boots but i might have ruined what could have been a totally baller, rock&roll friendship via desk-hauling. way to make a great first impression at high school, self. a+.
(8:45)-how r things at ur school?
(8:46)- I cannot believe that anyone would actually throw a desk.
(8:46)-i did.
(8:46)-My school is lacking in Creationism, but also, shamefully, in Higher Mathematics. It is decent, as schools go, I suppose. I'm a Freshman as well.
(8:47)- I must turn my phone off now. Class will start any second.
(8:47) duuuude dont leave me no one else is here cmon man
(8:48)-im so fuckin bored rn
(8:49)-heck ur rly not answering mme r u
(8:50)-im bored anyways so im just gonna spam ur phone with bad jokes and stuff until i wither away and die in this prison cell of a school.
(8:51)- how many ears does jim kirk have?????? three. the left ear, the right ear, and the final front ear!!!1!!!!!!!!
(8:51)-dude u dont understand thats my favorite joke ever
(8:52)- im all alone in this empty classroom.
(8:53)- all i wanna do is barricade the door, les mis style, w desks and chairs. sing abt social change. i can so do that omfg
(8:53)-im doing it and u cant stop me
(8:54)-shit these desks r heavy wtf il just use like 2 desks. lots of chairs. this is gonna b so good
(8:54)-gotta make an impression, right?
(8:54)- i dont know ur name.
(8:54)-how do i not kno ur name. i need to know ur name. what is your name. what is it.
(8:55) is it george? im barring the door rn
(8:56)- im singing now. im such a rockstar. (red the blood of angry men, dude.)
(8:57)- my blood is on fire todya which prob isnt a good sign but wow wow wowo wowowowowowowowowowowwoowowowowowowowow wow wow wow im like dawn from buffy im a mystic ball of energyand also like, caffeine but i havent had any. the teacher is coming back i c her from the chickenwired window in the door.
(8:58)- fred? phillip? brendan? corin? josè? aaliyah? what gender identifying word is closest to the way ur brain percieves ur gender????? these r things i must know if we r gonna be Best Buds 4 Lyfe!!!!!!!! my name's newt btw. newton, yknow? like the scientist.
(8:59)- the teacher is so fucking pissed at me. oh my god.
(9:00)-i let her in. shes yelling. god bless.
(9:00)-Marie is having her phone taken away until the end of her detention sentence. Please refrain from texting her until then.
(10:15)-That was interesting, to say the least. You tell awful jokes.
(10:15) I didn't expect you to be a musicals 'junkie'.
(10:17)-You threw a desk and barricaded a door on your first day, may I remind you that you will most likely have to endure 4 entire years at that school? You certainly know how to make an entrance.
(10:18)-Also, I see no reason to give you my name, seeing as someone lied about what her name was.
(10:20)-well, dude, i like musicals ok. also, i /really/ know how to make an entrance.
(10:22)-and, fucking hell, i just saw what ms. brown wrote god fucki ng FUCK fuck fuck fuc k fUCK
(10:23)-I am actually confused as to how many different times you can put one expletive in a single text. What was wrong with what Ms. Brown wrote? It seemed better written than anything you've managed to punch out in the last few hours.
(10:24)-she used my fucking biirthnam e she used my birthname fuck fucK u werent supposed to know, idk man i just thought i could make a friend who calls me by my name okay? im sorry im gonna punch ms brown in her fucking face im so pissed rn
(10:25)-Hermann.
(10:26)-what?
(10:26) My name is Hermann.
(10:27)-dude your name is so great, it fits the grumpy old man texting perfectly.
(10:28)-Thank you, Newton.
(10:30)- I chose it myself.
(10:30)-dude we both chose our names oh mannn thats so cool r u serious
(10:31)-Of course I'm serious.
(10:31)-Now, in your words, "what gender identifying word is closest to the way ur brain percieves ur gender?????". It was surprisingly poetic.
(10:32)- um......not girl. not boy. weird ball of energy and possibly radical sirens and other faerie-esque creatures on skateboards. they/them. u?
(10:34)-Again, how poetic. Boy, I suppose. He/him, pronoun-wise.
(10:34)-u suppose? r u trans???????!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!????!?!??!!!!! dude do u comprehend how cool it would b if we were both trans kids who magically became best buds thru texting????
(10:34)-I am, and I agree, it is a strange coincidence, given the statistics.
(10:35)-dude im flippin g shit over here
(10:36)- in algebra 2 and im grinning. no one grins in alg2. everyone knows somethings up. this is the best
(10:36)-wait
(10:37)-r u texting in class
(10:38)-No, of course not. It's Gym class. I am allowed to stay out of the class.
(10:39)-it's still textin gin class, buddy. im so proud
(10:40)-Shut up.
(10:40)-shit i laughed. cue intense 'coughing fit'
(10:40)-shi t she's coming over. coughing intensifiessshi
(10:40)-Incredible.
(3:01)-heyyyyyy hermann. got my phone back. she read like five of our texts. they were the boring ones tho, not our supersecret trans soul rebel shit we got going on.
(3:03)-first day over! damage check-new friend, in-school suspension for two weeks, as well as an in-school psychoanalyst (like i need another one, though, really) and weekly meetings w the school therapist. slight fame for barricading the door. also for throwing school property. cool girl is part of theater club! she heard about it and i am now a member of said club. also i think all the teachers hate me. no one will let me test out of bio. what bout u?
(3:07)-My classes are relatively simple, I was accidentally texted about Punnett Squares by a complete lunatic, said lunatic and I had a moderately surprised reaction to the other being transgender. I sat out of Gym, and was pushed into a locker by three upperclassmen.
(3:08)-dude wtf why were u shoved into a locker what the hell man thats awful ??????!!
(3:08)-It's nothing.
(3:09)-ok wanna play a game?
(3:09)-I'm vaguely suspicious. I'm not sure if I want anything to do with you and 'a game', Newton.
(3:10)-i ask u a question. u answer, ask me a question. getting to know u
(3:10)-getting to know all about u
(3:10)-getting to like u
(3:10)-getting to know what to say
(3:10)-Theater club is a good match for you.
(3:11)-I'll only play if we don't talk about physical features or any other contact information.
(3:12)-I know. mako (cool girl) was so proud of me.
(3:12)- sweet ok. what is ur favorite color?
(3:13)- Green. What is your favorite movie?
(3:14)-any of the old godzilla movies. sharknado was baller too though.
(3:14)-Of course.
(3:15)-favorite subject in school?
(3:15)-Math. What music do you listen to?
(3:15)-hold on
(3:20)- so i listen to everything, right? like, my phone is a mess of rammstein and kesha? but also like, everything in between and over and around and stuff. indie stuff no one's ever heard of. u know. right now im listening to against me! though because um amazing?? queen of my existence. i have a whole 'trans' playlist its wonderful. but yeah. i listen to everything.lots of musical music and stuff. n2n, les mis, rent, newsies. lots of that stuff. pop music and beethoven. sousa. i really love music??? ok what is ur favorite food?
(3:22)-You certainly are eclectic. Food? Most likely, Bratkartoffeln. What is the best weather to have?
(3:22)-bless u. (i just looked it up it looks really good??? v german) i like thunderstorms. what type of ancient architecture is the best?
(3:23)-Greco-Roman, obviously. Least favorite word?
(3:24)-good choice, man. probably moist. like, what the hell??!? why were you pushed into a locker?
(3:25)-Physical attribute. Game over.
(3:26)-shit
(3:27)-fuck, man, i'll tell u one personal thing about me if u tell me one abt u
(3:27)-How personal?
(3:28)-i mean we already know about the trans thing, how much more personal can u get?
(3:28)-rhetorical question. don't answer.
(3:29)-umm idk how deep:&personal r we willing to get here?
(3:29)-I'm not willing at all.
(3:30)-im kinda glad.
(3:31)-Good. Now, I've arrived at home. Goodbye for now, I suppose.
(3:31)-bye herms!
(3:31)- Please do /not/ call me Herms ever again.
(3:32)-whatever u say herms
(11:10)-hermann wake up r u ready
(11:10)-hermann hermann hermann
(11:11)-hermann make a wish
(11:12)- u didn't wake up.
(11:12)-i wished for a komodo dragon and an against me concert.
(11:13)-nightynight
(11:14)-i mean. 4 u probably.
(11:15)-sleep is for the weak.
(11:15)-ur exempt from that tho
(11:16)-goodnight, herms