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Chapter Text

Fire is the element of power. It is said that the firebenders are as fiery and passionate as the element itself. Unlike the other elements, fire does come not from the world around the person, but from within. To master firebending is an art itself, taught to the smallest child but comprehended only in adulthood. 

One of the first sets shown to beginners is a short sequence of hits and kicks. It's an easy one, so it is even more frustrating, that Zuko failed at it. Just after the sun had risen, he had started training in a small clearing in the forest, not far from the little village where he and Uncle were staying. The opening was peacefully quiet, hidden between giant trees, not far away from a small stream with crystal clear water. Uncle Iroh had fetched water from it earlier and was now sitting on a small tree stump, sipping his tea and watching Zuko train. Watching him fail again and again.

A series of fire blasts disturbed the quiet of the forest and flock of birds rose from the trees. Zukos face was sweaty, his brows drawn together in frustration. He had tried this sequence again and again, but something was always wrong. The position of his feet, his stand, the order of his punches. He just did not seem to get the hang of it. With another cry he punched forward, flames erupting from his fists, but the next moment he twisted his ankle and fell to the ground.

"Dammit, I nearly had it," he grumbled, while he stood up and resumed his previous position.

"Please, take a break, Prince Zuko. Sit down, drink a cup of tea with me," Iroh commented from the sidelines. "You are worked up and your frustration works against you. You did well in the beginning. Come, sit with me, nephew."

Zuko shot him an angry look. "Doing well is not enough! I have to perfect it. Azula-"

"Your sister is not here. You are your own person with your own strengths and faults. You need to give yourself time, Prince Zuko. Otherwise, you won't be capable of unlocking your true potential."

"I do not have time, Uncle. Father wants me to find the Avatar. I cannot disappoint him again."

"Prince Zuko," Uncle Iroh sighed but did not comment further.

Zuko went through the set, again and again, trying not to think about his father, about his anger and his disappointment. When Zuko had spoken up in the war room he had hoped that his father would finally look at him with pride, look at him like he looks at Azula. Azula, the favorite child, who did always right, mastered the most complicated sets far sooner than he could ever hope. Even though he is the older brother, even though he should be her role model. But he never was, always behind her, always a failure. His father soon stopped attending his training, stopped watching his firstborn fail where his sister succeeded. Zuko clearly remembered the day, he got hurt in training. He had lost control over his fire and, as a result, burned himself quite heavily. He searched for his father but when he found him, his father only told him that he should control his fire better, should stop being so lazy and finally learn firebending like his sister. It was always: Azula finished this set years ago, stop being an idiot; you are not worthy of being my son if you cannot firebend or even: I wished Agni would have taken you from me, then I would not have to bear the shame of you being my son. Was it so wrong that I wished for one acknowledgment, one I love you?

Zuko shook his head, trying to concentrate on his exercise, trying to ignore the burn behind his eyes. He needed to succeed. Then he would finally be able to catch the Avatar.  I will finally be able to go home. I will finally be worthy of my father's love.

Zuko punched the air again, then took a step forward, balanced himself on one leg and kicked with the other. When he was finally sure that he was capable of finishing this set, he replicated his actions, this time with fire shooting out of his fists and dancing around him. Suddenly, a cough behind him startled him and his stance faltered. Some of the flames extinguished but others flew around Zuko. He tried to take a breath, regain control over his fire, but the more he tried, the wilder the flames became. A sharp pain surged through his hand and with a cry he fell to his knees, cradling his hand to his chest.

"Prince Zuko? I'm sorry, I did not mean to surprise you." Uncle kneeled in front of him with worry in his eyes. He tried to reach for Zukos hand but 

With a frustrated cry, he punched the air again. He lost control of his fire and a sharp pain happened in his hand. With a curse, he cradled his hand.

“Prince Zuko? Is everything alright?” Iroh kneeled before him. He tried to get a look, but Zuko turned away from him. His Uncle did not need to see him like this, weak, pathetic, useless. 

"It's nothing," Zuko bit out, "None of your business, Uncle." Why did his Uncle not leave? Why did he not see that Zuko was useless? His father saw it, banished him because Zuko was not capable of learning. When would be the time that Uncle finally snapped? He could not keep up this facade forever, after all. At some point, he would send him away and Zuko would be alone again.

Iroh sighed. "Prince Zuko, you are my nephew. Your health will always be my business. Now let me please have a look. This burn might be more serious than you think" He reached for Zukos hand again but Zuko turned away again.

"No! You always do that. I'm not a little child anymore. If I am not capable of finishing even the most simple set, how am I supposed to become the Firelord?"

"Prince Zuko," Iroh sighed and closed his eyes. For a moment he looked so much older. He was not as young as his father anymore, Zuko remembered and for a moment he was sorry. His Uncle was with him, endured so much pain because of him and still, he stayed. Zuko did not understand it.

 "You need to take your time. If you do not steep your tea long enough then it will become bitter. Take your time and it will be sweet-"

Fury and anger surged through Zuko.

"I don't need the help of an old man. And I do not have time! Not everybody can sit around all day and drink stupid tea. The avatar is out there, I know it, and father wants me to bring him back. The faster I find the Avatar, the faster I can go home, I know it. And father will finally be proud of me. Not that you can understand this."

He would finally be worthy of his fathers' attention. Of his love. He would finally be the son his father always wanted. Zuko could not fail. Father would finally smile at him, once he captured the avatar and he would tell Zuko, that he loved him. Father would spend more time with him, he would praise him as he did with Azula. He would be proud of him and would finally teach him, how to be a good Firelord. Azula would stop mocking him and they would be a happy family again. Maybe they would even go and find his mother. They could all live together again, train together and go on holiday together.

Iroh looked at him, with sad eyes, and sighed. "Prince Zuko. Finding the Avatar is an impossible task. Your father knows that. He -"

"No!" Zuko shouted, standing up and looking down at his Uncle. "You don't know what you are talking about. Father wants me back. He set me this task because he  knows  I am capable of finding him." Father set him this task because he wanted Zuko to grow and because he was tired of Zukos laziness. Uncle could not understand this, Zuko knew. He was always the best firebender, better than Azula, better than the Firelord. He was loved, had a son that was as capable as Iroh and, Zuko gulped, did not have to bear the pain of having a useless son.

Tears were beginning to form in his eyes and angry about his own emotions, he turned away from his uncle. Iroh did not need to see him like this. Weak, pathetic, emotional. If his father could see him like this ... he would frown at Zuko, displeased by him nearly crying like a small child. Father would send him to his chamber, forbidding him from coming out again before he has learned again how to be a prince. The servants would whisper about him, about his weakness. He heard them, even when they tried to be quiet. He knew, what they said about him: The emotional prince, the bastard, the firebender who could not bend fire, the disgrace of the royal family. 

"Your father is a very strict man. He ... is not always capable of being the father you need. He..." Iroh seemed to ring for his words as if he was not capable of saying what he wanted to say.

Zuko turned around, flames erupting from his hands. Iroh had stood up, but was not bothered by the flames. Of course, he wasn't. Uncle was the Dragon of the West, after all. The most capable firebender. Why should he be scared of flames? 

"This is treason. Father knows what he does. He is the only father I have. You are just jealous because  you  were not capable of keeping your own son alive"

Iroh flinched and Zuko knew, that he overstepped. Lu Tens' death had always been a sore subject. Zuko remembered the time after his death, after his beloved Uncle came back from the siege of Ba Sing Se, broken in more ways than one. He did not play with Zuko anymore, just set in his chamber drinking tea and staring at a picture of his son. It took a long time until he talked to Zuko again and even then, he was quieter and less happy than before.

 But Zuko did not want to apologize. Iroh did not know what he was talking about. He had a father that cared for him, that praised him for what he did. And Zuko was the shame of his family. Zuko turned away and ran in the woods. Iroh shouted after him and Zuko could hear his steps, but with a blast of fire the dry leaves behind him erupted in flames. It would stop Uncle Iroh from following him, but just for a short moment. He did not turn around, did not stop to extinguish the flames. He just ran, further and further into the woods, until he could not run anymore.

Zuko let himself fall on the ground and groaned into his hands. He should have started training again the moment he stopped. He should have trained the stupid set until he perfected it. He should not have argued with his uncle. Uncle Iroh was the only one who stayed with him, after all. Now, uncle Iroh would be angry at him, maybe even hurt by the flames. He would stop instructing Zuko and Zuko would lose the last connection of his family. Maybe Uncle Iroh would even abandon his nice-Uncle-image and become General Iroh, the ruthless man.  Maybe he would even see, that Father did right and burn the other half of my face.  Zuko stared on the ground, slowly touching the burned side of his face.

The bushes behind him moved and he could hear heavy steps. Iroh? His Uncle was faster then he had thought. But Zuko did not want him here. Did not want to see the disappointed look in his Uncles eyes the quiet but firm "Zuko" that said everything his Uncle did not want to voice: You are a failure, you are not worthy of my time. I don't even know why I bother staying with you. Zuko suppressed a sob. Somehow this hurt more than everything his father ever did. Well... maybe not everything. 

"Leave me alone, Uncle" he bit out and balled his fists. The steps came nearer until they stopped closed behind him. For a moment the only thing Zuko could hear was his own heavy breathing and the rustling of the wind. But his Uncle did not move. 

"Did you become deaf? I said: Leave. Me. Alone!" Zuko turned around but before he came to face with the person who stood behind, a sharp pain erupted on the side of his head and everything around him went dark.

Chapter Text

Zuko woke up with a groan. Everything around him was dark and quiet.  Where was he? Just moments before he was in a forest.  Zuko had no idea. The last thing he was able to remember was talking to his Uncle -no- fighting with him. Then he had run away and after that, nothing. He had no idea what happened after this, had he fallen into a hole? No. No, Zuko did not think so. 

He shook his head. Wondering about what happened would not bring him very far. He had to get up and try to get ho- no, get back to the place they were staying at. It was not home, Zuko told himself. His home was back in the Fire Nation. The palace was home, not the small flat where he was staying with his Uncle. A palace where he could only go back to after he had found the Avatar. And for that, he needed to get up.

Zuko pushed himself up from where he was laying on the cold stone floor. He carefully took a few steps forward, his head still hurting. He did not get very far. After another few steps, he heard the metallic rattle of chains and the next moment, something around his leg tightened and pulled him back on the floor. He fumbled around in the dark, searching for whatever held him in place. Zukos hand closed around a big metallic chain that was attached to his ankle. 

He was imprisoned, he realized with a start. Somebody kidnapped him. But why? Right now he was just a boy, not even a prince. He was just the nephew of the old man, who served delicious tea. They did not have a lot of money right now, so what purpose did this serve?

A door opened and light streamed into the room. There were small shelves on the wall and sacks piled into one corner. It seemed to be a storage room nobody had used for a while. The chain around his ankle was attached to a heavy iron anchor on the wall. Even if he had been a better firebender, he could not have hoped to free himself. The fire would only heat the iron and sooner or later, he would have burned himself.

A man entered. He was slim, underfed but with a malicious strike in his hawk-like face. He smiled at Zuko, a cruel little thing that only made him look thinner.

"Well, well, what do we have here? Our little prince has finally awakened from his beauty sleep. Was everything to your liking?" he said, his eyes twinkling. Zuko did not answer. This man knew, who he was. Even though he and Uncle had been careful in choosing a new place to stay.

The man kicked him in the side and Zuko groaned. He was grabbed by his hair and pulled up. The man's face was close, their noses nearly touching.

"I asked you a question, you little miscreant. But no, his highness is above me, isn't he?" He threw Zuko to the floor. "Well, well, it can not be helped. I thought about letting you go if you had been a nice little boy, but now? You're never getting out of here." He laughed to himself and shook his head. Then he turned around and looked at Zuko with a pitiful smile.

"It is quite sad. All this money, your royalty, but no one to protect you. I might be poor, but my family would never sell me out."

"What?" was the only thing Zuko managed to get out. He was lying, he could not possibly mean,-

"A bit slow, aren't we? Daddy sold you out, little prince. Didn't want you anymore. We've been following you ever since you set foot in the Earth Kingdom."

"No! You are lying!" Zuko shouted, but the man only laughed again.

"Hard isn't it? The own father! I wouldn't have thought it from the all-mighty Fire Lord. You must have been really stupid to anger him. Amuse me, what did you do? Embarrass him in front of his court? Murdered his father? Must have been something pretty bad, after all. There is quite a big sum on your head. Dead or alive, though dead is certainly easier."

"You are lying," Zuko sobbed, his voice shaking. 

"Am I?" The man chuckled. "Or is this just you, trying not to acknowledge the truth? Well, well, it has been nice talking to you, but I'm a busy man and I have money to make. Don't worry, it will only take a few days, then all of this will be over and you can join your cousin in the afterlife."

Zuko growled at the man. He would not die in this hole. He could not do that to Uncle. 

"Still not giving up, I see? Thinking your precious uncle is going to save you? Please, why would he save you? He will be happy that we took you off his hands and is probably on the way back home. You never meant anything to him."

"That's not true. Uncle ... Uncle would not do that. He will come and rescue me, I know that."

"After what you said to him? You said, that you did not need him, after all. Threw your pretty little flames at him. We were watching. We heard and saw it all. Why should he help you? You're just a bother, a little millstone around his neck. He will not come and save you, better accept this, little boy."

The man left the room and the door fell shut behind him. Zuko was, once more, surrounded by darkness.

The man was wrong. That was the only explanation. His father would never send assassins after him. He wouldn't. Zuko was his son, his heir. His father would not betray him like this, he just wanted him to get better!

But does he?  a little traitorous voice, that sounded just like Azula, asked him.  He never wanted you. You are useless to him. 

Zuko shook his head and curled up. His father only sent him away, because Zuko was too stupid to learn. This was the only reason. Father wanted him to be his son. Zuko was just not worthy of it. He had to get better and for this, he had to find the Avatar and restore his honor. Show his father, that he could be as good as Azula.

He does not love you , the voice in his head whispered.  Never did. Nobody loves you. You are alone.  

Zuko shook his head. His eyes stung, but he could not cry. He would not break in this stupid hellhole. He was the son of the Fire Lord after all. Father loved him. His mother had loved him. 

But she left,  Azula whispered,  even she could not bear staying with you. And father, he never loved you. Never said it. You are useless, nothing more than a pawn in this war. He would have killed you long ago, even grandfather saw this. And he approved, didn't he? Nobody loves you

No, this could not be true. It had been a joke. A cruel dumb joke, but nothing more than a joke. Ozai knew that. He loved Zuko. This is why he did not follow through with it. He loved him, he just did not say it, because he wanted him to become better. 

This is the perfect opportunity to get rid of you, Zuzu. You are not part of this family. Even Uncle, weak pathetic old fool Uncle Iroh, did not want to stay with you. You were just a replacement. And even then you failed.

No. No. No. This was not true.

Uncle stayed with him. He traveled with him and trained him. Uncle had stayed calm, even when Zuko screamed and shouted and raged at him. He cared for him after Zuko had hurt himself at the training again, sat beside his bed after Zuko had a nightmare. Again. Uncle had protected him after the Agni Kai with Zhao. Uncle had told him, that he saw him as his own, right before Zuko set out to the North Pole. 

And Zuko? Zuko had been nothing but ungrateful. He did not appreciate his Uncle's loyalty, did not listen to his advice or follow it. Agni! He had even tried to burn him minutes ago. Or was it hours? Days? Zuko did not know how long he had been down here, how long he had already been missing. Was Uncle searching for him? Or was he really glad that Zuko was gone? Maybe now Uncle could play Pai Sho and drink tea as much as he liked without having to look out for a bothersome nephew. Without Zuko interrupting him, demanding his full attention without ever giving something back. 

See?  Azula cackled.  Even the person who has been more of a father to you than Ozai does not want you. You are a disappointment.

No, Uncle did not think like this. He had said it - minutes, hours, days? - ago. Uncle cared for him, he stayed with him, he-

Does he? Or is pathetic Uncle Iroh only staying with him, because he wants to get back in Ozais good graces? He was an esteemed General once, after all. An honor everyone would want back. Even if it means spending time with the annoying nephew.

"NO" Zuko shouted, his voice echoing in the quiet room. "Uncle loves me. He stays with me because he loves me. You are just jealous. He does not even like Ozai."

He does not love you. He never did. He does not love you. He has no reason to. You are useless, pathetic, who would ever want you as a son?

"Uncle", Zuko whispered. He felt like he was spinning. There was a noise, shouting and fighting outside of his room. Did his attackers fight over the money? They had to, who else would cause such a ruckus. 

Zuko wanted to shout back. Tell them to be quiet. But he could not. His head hurt again and the spinning got stronger.

"Uncle, I am sorry."

More shouting, frantic steps coming nearer. Did they finally snap? Was he even now too annoying locked up like this? Did they come to end it? Zuko found, that he did not particularly mind.

"I am not strong enough."

Something hit the door. Again and again. Dust was falling from the ceiling and Zuko sneezed weakly. He felt weaker every moment. Why was it suddenly so cold? And- and why was he so tired?

"I am sorry to disappoint you, Uncle. You are free of me now. Go home. Go back to your tea, your Pai Sho games. Be happy, that's everything I wish for-"

A cough interrupted his frantic whispering.

"You did everything for me, Uncle. Maybe this is the only thing I can do for you."

The door flew open. The light fell into the room once again but Zuko did not really notice. He was just so tired. A short nap could not harm. Just five minutes. Just five-

"I am sorry, Uncle," Zuko murmured before the darkness took him.

"ZUKO! NO"

Chapter Text

Zuko felt like he was flying. He was warm, comfortable and finally at peace. Everything around him was white, not blinding, but pulsating with a steady light. He pushed himself up, slowly, still expecting his head to throb. 

He was sprawled in the green grass, no sight of the empty room he had been in just moments ago. The courtyard was surrounded by an elaborate and imposing complex that seemed vaguely familiar. He knew that he had been here, but he couldn't place this area. Had he been here as a child? Or later, after his banishment?

The ornaments looked like those that adorned the Fire Palace. On one side of the court, located beneath the sturdy branches of a great Wisteria tree, a little pond was inhabited by a flutter of turtle ducks. They quaked and fell over each other in the quest to find food first.

Zuko remembered them fondly. He had spent many hours at a similar pond, feeding the ducks with his mother. Back then they had been a happy family. Once, he had just started his training, Ozai had visited the turtle ducks with them. A small duck, Zuko had affectionately called her Lady Nibbles, had sneaked up on Ozai and bitten him in the hand. The following scream had sent the servants scrambling. Zuko did not know if he had ever laughed again as he had on that day.

He wandered to the pond, his feet damp from the dew. 

"Zuko." A gentle voice interrupted his musings and Zuko froze on the spot. Of course, he was dead. He had expected Lu Ten, his grandfather, maybe even Sozin, but not-

"Mother." He turned around and eyed the woman sitting beneath the tree. She was as beautiful as he remembered, sleek black hair and warm eyes. She padded the grass beneath her and offered her son a small but kind smile.

"Please sit, my dear Zuko. We have a lot to talk and not enough time, I fear."

He settled beneath her but did not dare move closer. The last time he had seen her, well, she had told him that she did everything for him. 

"You left," he accused her, unable to keep the venom out of his voice. Maybe if she hadn't left he wouldn't have been banished. He could still live in the Palast,  they  could still be a happy family.

Ursa sighed. "I know. And I am sorry, you must believe me. When Fire Lord Azulon ordered to kill you, I could not stand back idle. I was open to your father's scheme. And for that I am sorry. I thought I was protecting you, but in the end, I left you in the hand of a monster."

"He was never a real father, was he?" Zuko was proud he managed to stop his voice from shaking. He plucked grass out and tried not to sound too nervous about the answer.

"He tried. In the beginning, he tried. But when you did not show the talent he wanted, he got less interested. I always hoped that his indifference would spare you from any harm-"

"You see how well this went," Zuko bit out, roughly turning around and swatting away his mother's hand that had tried to grasp his shoulder. "He burned my face. He banished me. He did not care if I died. I always wanted to be the son he wanted. I hoped that doing what he wanted could make him love me." He went back to plucking at the grass. Quietly he added: "Not that he would ever do this."

"I am sorry, my child. I am sorry that I was not capable of protecting you. But you had another protector all this time, didn't you?" She smiled, calm and happy again. Zuko stared at her blankly, before realizing what she meant.

"Uncle. You mean Uncle Iroh," he whispered.

"Indeed. My husband has never cared for you as he should, but Iroh protected you."

Something wet rolled down Zukos face and with a jolt, he realized that he was crying. He tried to dry them off, but by now they were flowing openly. He gulped. If Ozai could see- no, he did not matter anymore. Uncle mattered and Zuko fucked up. No wonder Uncle did not want anything to do with him. 

"You fault yourself for something you do not have a say over." She stroked his tears away. "Iroh loves you. He loves you like a second son and would give his life to save you. And there is nothing you can do about it. You can rage and shout at him, but he will not turn away from you. He is stronger than I ever was."

"But I am never going to see him again," Zuko said, his voice still heavy with tears. "I was too weak and died."

"But you are not dead yet, my child. You can come back to life. You just have to want it."

"I can?" Zuko let his gaze wander. It was peaceful here, calm. Could he leave this behind to go back into a world that did not want him? He shook his head, this was not the place to think such thoughts. Uncle was the only family he had left and Zuko was Uncles only, well only sane, family left behind. He could not stay here, not yet. He turned to his mother, giving her a shaky smile.

"What do I have to do?"

"Listen to him. Concentrate on the tone of his voice. Iroh is calling for you and this is your gate back to the land of the living. I will see you again when it's your time." She took his head in both hands and gave a small kiss to his brow. "It was a pleasure meeting you again, my child. I am proud of you, do not forget this." Ursa stood up, her robes billowing around her. The wind blew stronger and the next moment, she was gone. Only a faint smell of cherries told Zuko that she had been here.

"Zuko"

A voice disrupted his thinking. He looked around, searching for the source of this voice, but he was alone. Only the turtle ducks were swimming calmly in the pond.

"Nephew"

Zuko knew this gentle, calming voice. "Uncle?"

"Zuko, I am sorry."

He sprang up, nearly stumbling over his own feet. He turned around, trying to locate the source of the voice. 

"Please, Nephew. Please. Come back to me."

"I am here, Uncle. I am coming." He did not know, where Uncle was or how he could leave this place, but his mother had said, that he should follow his Uncles voice. He ran over the courtyard, trying to reach the door at the other end of it but the yard just kept expanding under his feet.

"Nephew, please. I cannot lose you too. Please," he heard Iroh beg.

"Where are you, Uncle? I cannot find you. Please, please don't leave me here." Another step, the door was not coming nearer, another one and he was falling backward. He tried to grab something, anything, to protect him from the hard impact but his hands found nothing. 

He prepared himself for the hard impact and the pain that would certainly follow. But he landed softly? He could feel the warm blanket weighing him down and the comfortable pillow under his head. He opened his eyes.

Light flooded his vision and he winced at the brightness. Clothes rustled beneath him and the warm hand grabbed his. 

"Zuko?" somebody whispered next to him. Zuko turned his head. Iroh was partly sitting on a chair next to the bad, his eyes red, his clothes rustled like he had slept in them. There were backs under his eyes and was looking at Zuko with worried and tired eyes.

"Uncle? Where am I? What happened?" Zukos mouth was dry and his voice cracked. Iroh seemed to notice it, stood up and fetched a small container of water. Zuko gulped it down greedily, then sunk back into the warm cushions.

"You were kidnapped. A villager saw you being dragged away and informed me about the situation. I searched for you, but-" Iroh took a deep breath before continuing "- I was not able to find you as fast as I would have liked. You were in their clutches for two days. When I found you, you were unconscious and I- I thought I had lost you."

Zuko stared at the white blanket, turning the container in his hands. Iroh had searched for him, worried for him and Zuko had doubted him. He should have known it. Uncle Iroh would not leave him.

"I am sorry," he whispered and hated, how small he sounded.

Iroh shot him an incredulous look. "What are you sorry for? Zuko, if this is about your training, there is no need to be-"

"I doubted you!" Zuko yelled, trying to get up. He sunk back into the bed a moment later, groaning. 

"Careful, Prince Zuko. You are not fully healed yet, and there is no need to injure yourself further." Iroh helped him settle back. "And what is this about doubting me?"

"I doubted you. Back in-" Zuko swallowed, "Back in that place. The man, he told me that you were happy to get rid of me."

"Never." Iroh's voice did not falter while he gripped Zukos hand and squeezed it gently. "I anything happened to you, I would be devasted. You are my nephew, my family. I will not leave you and I hope you know that."

Iroh looked at him intently, steel in his eyes and Zuko believed him. 

"They also said, that Ozai paid them to-" He could not finish the sentence but Iroh seemed to know what he meant. 

"To kill you? I-" He sighed, running his hand over his face. "I would like to tell you, that my brother would not do this. That he loves you. But I cannot."

"He does not love me," Zuko stated and Iroh nodded.

"Ozai," Iroh searched for the right words. Zuko pressed their joined hands again and Iroh awarded him with a tired smile.

"My brother has always been particular to his family. He never knew how to show his love. I sometimes wondered if he was even capable of loving somebody. When you were born I had hoped that he would discover the joy of being a father. That the relationship between him and his mother would fix itself again. Sadly, I had been wrong."

"I saw Mother. When I was unconscious, I mean. She was sitting under a tree next to the turtle duck pond."

Iroh laughed quietly. "I remember. You loved those little beasts. Even after they had bit your father."

Zuko grinned at him. "I remembered that too. I can't remember ever having laughed like this again."

Iroh's smile vanished and his eyes watered. "I am sorry. I should not have let my brother treat you like he did. I should have stepped in sooner, said something, done something."

"Do not fault yourself, Uncle. You did nothing wrong."

"Of course I did!" Iroh had raised his voice and looked stricken. "He hurt you. He hurt you as nobody should ever hurt somebody else. And I let it happen. I was not brave enough to step in."

"You are brave." Iroh gifted him a small smile but shook his head. 

"I am not. Not where it mattered. You should have had a happy childhood. A father, who loved you and cared about you."

"I have a father, who cares about me, I just looked in the wrong place," Zuko mumbled so quietly he didn't know if Iroh had heard him. The next moment, however, he was pulled into a strong embrace. Zuko hid his face in his uncle's chest and could feel the strong arms tightening around him.

"I nearly lost you," Uncle said while stroking Zukos head. Normally he would have raged at his Uncle for daring to touch him, but Zuko found that he did not mind much. Uncle's touch was careful and gentle, and Zuko could not help but feel happy.

"I am here Uncle. I will do better. Just see, you will be proud of me."

The embrace tightened around him. "I am already proud of you, my son."