Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

4:27 PM

[Admin PlaggDad created a new group.]

[Admin PlaggDad changed the chat’s name to “CheesePlz”.]

[Pineapple was added to the chat.]

4:38 PM

Pineapple: Pineapple? Why is my nickname set as pineapple???

PlaggDad: idk

PlaggDad: “Sugar Cube” seemed too predictable.

[MyWingsAren’tDark was added to the chat.]

[ImBluu was added to the chat.]

ImBluu: omk

ImBluu: i can talk to plagg whenever i want now

PlaggDad: don't make me regret adding you, Duusu.

MyWingsAren'tDark: What does “omk” mean?

Pineapple: “Oh my kwami”.

MyWingsAren’tDark: But we are kwamis??

[Mothballs was added to the chat.]

Pineapple: Wait. 

Pineapple: Plagg no.

Mothballs: What is this?

MyWingsAren'tDark: Hi Master.

[Peafoul was added to the chat.]

Peafoul: Who is this, how did you get in contact with this device? I can and will sue.

ImBluu: miss nathalie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ImBluu’s message was deleted by admin PlaggDad.]

PlaggDad: no real names!!

MyWingsAren'tDark: Why not? We all know who each other are.

Peafoul: Is that you, Duusu? Is this why you wanted on my computer? We don’t have time to mess around in a chat room. Remove me and Gabriel immediately.

[Peafoul’s message was deleted by admin PlaggDad.]

PlaggDad: NO REAL NAMES!

Mothballs: How do I change my nickname?

Peafoul: Really, sir?

[Kitten was added to the chat.]

[Ladynoire was added to the chat.]

Pineapple: Plagg no!

PlaggDad: Plagg yes!!!

Ladynoire: Um? Hello??

[Ladynoire was set to admin.]

Kitten: What is this?

Kitten: wait. My Lady?

Ladynoire: Chat? 

Ladynoire: is that you?

Ladynoire: what is going on??

Mothballs: Perfect. Give me your miraculouses.

Pineapple: Plagg, this is your worst idea ever, delete this chat now.

Kitten: I'm in a chat with Ladybug

Kitten: best day ever

Kitten: how much cheese do I owe you, Plagg?

PlaggDad: one wheel of Pule Cheese please.

Kitten: Done. Ordering it now.

Peafoul: You can afford that?

Mothballs: Mayura, see if you can track their location. We can’t let this opportunity slip by us.

Ladynoire: please don't tell that's actually hawk moth.

Pineapple: Afraid so.

PlaggDad: don't worry, this thing is as secure as they come, no one is tracking anyone.

ImBluu: but I wanna see plagg 😢

PlaggDad: keep your feathery paws away from me!

Peafoul: He's right, sir, I can't even get a read on your device.

Kitten: “Sir”?

Peafoul: What about it?

Kitten: It's just weird...?

Peafoul: How? He's my boss.

Kitten: what?

Ladynoire: What?

Mothballs: Where do you guys live?

Kitten: I thought you guys were married???

MyWingsAren'tDark: Um. Sensitive topic.

Mothballs: You thought we were what?

ImBluu: i wish they were

Ladynoire: tbh I thought you guys were married too. Dating at the very least, with the way you hold each other and stuff. You guys act worse than Chat.

Kitten: Hey!

Pineapple: I think they'd be cute together.

ImBluu: !!!!!!!!!!!

ImBluu: welcome to my ship tikki

ImBluu: ladybug and chat noir too 

PlaggDad: that's Duusu, fyi, Mayura’s kwami. She’s annoying.

MyWingsAren'tDark: And I'm Hawk Moth’s kwami, Nooroo. Please save me.

ImBluu: i have a ship name for them but I can't tell you guys because of identities but they are so adorable together

Peafoul: Duusu, please.

ImBluu: hawk moth x mayura forever

Mothballs: I am a married man!

PlaggDad: more like he was a married man.

MyWingsAren'tDark: Plagg run

PlaggDad: 😈

Mothballs: I am going to kill you

Mothballs: slowly

Mothballs: destroy your miraculous

Mothballs: and murder you

Peafoul: Sir, please calm down.

Kitten: I'm not sure of everything that's happening, but that sounded like a low blow, Plagg.

PlaggDad: oh Kitten, it definitely was

PlaggDad: but I don't care.

PlaggDad: hawk moth has hurt you in so many ways that I'm never going to forgive him

PlaggDad: I'm going to make him suffer

PlaggDad: no one hurts my Kitten. 

Kitten: Plagg...

Kitten: ❤

[Admin Ladynoire changed their name to “Ladybug”.]

Mothballs: How did you do that?

Ladybug: I'm an admin. You're not.

Kitten: Wait– why aren't I an admin too, Plagg???

PlaggDad: because Ladybug won't abuse that power in my chat. you will.

Peafoul: Is there anyway I can convince you to change his name?

PlaggDad: a wheel of Camembert next time I visit.

Peafoul: It will be on the desk.

PlaggDad: wonderful. 😏

Kitten: wait you visit them?

[Admin PlaggDad changed Mothballs’s name to “HotMoth”.]

Ladybug: um 

Kitten: UM

Kitten: Plagg!

PlaggDad: what? I changed the nickname for Mayura.

Peafoul: I did not ask you to do that.

PlaggDad: but you know that's what you think. 😏

Peafoul: I fail to see how this is related.

HotMoth: What is happening?

[Admin Ladybug changed HotMoth’s name to “hawkmoth”.]

Kitten: thank you

Pineapple: Thank you.

MyWingsAren’tDark: Thank you.

Peafoul: Thank you.

hawkmoth: They're the enemies! Don't thank her!

hawkmoth: Besides, what about your name?

Peafoul: It's clever, and I like it.

PlaggDad: 😃

Peafoul: Also no cheese next time you visit.

PlaggDad: 😡

Ladybug: Why are our kwamis even going near you guys?

hawkmoth: Is that how you spell it? I thought it started with a Q.

Pineapple: Nooroo and I are mates, so I like to visit him, since somebody won't let him leave his side.

MyWingsAren'tDark: You're the best part of my day, Tikki. ❤

Ladybug: That's so sweet. Don't worry, we'll save you and reunite you two. 

Ladybug: What about Plagg tho?

hawkmoth: He thinks his sole purpose in life is to annoy me.

PlaggDad: yeah, pretty much. 

Pineapple: I love you too, Nooroo. ❤

Pineapple: 💡💡💡

hawkmoth: NO!

MyWingsAren'tDark: 💡💡💡

Pineapple: 💡💡💡

MyWingsAren'tDark: 💡💡💡

Pineapple: 💡💡💡

hawkmoth: STOP!

Pineapple: 💡💡💡

Ladybug: ?

PlaggDad: get a room you two.

Kitten: I have no idea what's happening.

ImBluu: one of my ships is sailing

Chapter Text

11:55 PM

Kitten: @Ladybug

Kitten: @Ladybug

Kitten: @Ladybug

Ladybug: What?

Kitten: Hi 😃

Ladybug: Go to sleep, Chat, it’s a school night.

12:07 AM

hawkmoth: School?

hawkmoth: Hm. Interesting.

12:15 AM

Ladybug: I will kill you.

Ladybug: @Kitten get up, we have an akuma to deal with.

1:40 AM

[Admin Ladybug changed hawkmoth’s name to “toilet-water”.]

5:31 AM

toilet-water: Hey!

10:31 AM

toilet-water: @Peafoul why and who ordered a mountain of pule cheese using my account?

toilet-water: wait they only ordered one

toilet-water: It costs that much? What is it made out of? Gold?????

PlaggDad: donkey milk, actually.

toilet-water: @Peafoul cancel the order now.

Peafoul: Why are you using the chat room? You can literally text me. Or walk down the hall and talk to me.

ImBluu: or kiss her

ImBluu: thats an option too 

ImBluu: just saying

2:30 PM

ImBluu: @PlaggDad

ImBluu: @PlaggDad

PlaggDad: what?

ImBluu:  💡💡💡

PlaggDad: NO!

Kitten: What do the light bulbs even mean?

PlaggDad: it’s a kwami thing.

Kitten: Light bulbs?

Kitten: pretty sure that’s a human thing.

PlaggDad: glowing. 

PlaggDad: it's a reference to glowing. 

PlaggDad: we can glow.

Kitten: Cool! Why haven’t you ever done that around me before?

PlaggDad: ...

Kitten: ?

PlaggDad: no. just no.

Kitten: ???

toilet-water: For your ability to sleep at night, don’t ask.

toilet-water: Just spare yourself, kid.

PlaggDad: DON’T YOU DARE CALL HIM KID HE’S MY KID NOT YOURS!

Pineapple: Glowing is a display of affection, Chat.

Kitten: ...Okay? Why was that such a secret?

PlaggDad: it’s a romantic gesture. 

PlaggDad: I don’t really have a comparison with your human ones.

Kitten: ah.

toilet-water: Nothing more traumatizing than trying to work and having two kwamis glowing seductively at each other all night.

Pineapple: Stop comparing our traditions to your human ones, it doesn’t work, it’s not the same thing.

toilet-water: Forever burned in my mind.

PlaggDad: grow up.

ImBluu:  💡💡💡

PlaggDad: shut up.

4:16 PM

toilet-water: Someone change my nickname.

4:29 PM

toilet-water: @Ladybug Change my nickname to something more appropriate.

Ladybug: Hmm...

Ladybug: Nah. 😝

toilet-water: One would think the hero of Paris was more mature than resorting to crud bathroom humor.

Ladybug: I didn’t resort to anything.

Ladybug: I just told the honest truth.

toilet-water: @Peafoul Some help would be appreciated.

Peafoul: Want do you want me to do? I do not have access to the settings to change the names in this chat.

toilet-water: Nooroo! Back me up here! 

toilet-water: @MyWingsAren’tDark 

toilet-water: I can see your tablet from here Nooroo, I know you’re reading this!

4:37 PM

toilet-water: @MyWingsAren’tDark

toilet-water: @MyWingsAren’tDark

toilet-water: I order you to make Ladybug change my name!

MyWingsAren’tDark: I only have to follow verbal orders, Master.

toilet-water: You’re going to regret this, Ladybug, just you wait.

3:11 AM

toilet-water: I know it’s the middle of the night, and I am very sorry to be disturbing everyone’s sleep, but I just wanted to let you know there’s an akuma on the loose.

toilet-water: Have fun.

6:48 AM

Ladybug: Was that akuma even after our Miraculouses?!?!

Ladybug: It didn’t even attack us!

Ladybug: We were just chasing it around Paris all night!

[toilet-water sent over 1 audio file.]

Kitten: ...

Kitten: Did you really record yourself doing an evil laugh?

Peafoul: You should hear his monologues.

Chapter Text

7:12 PM

Ladybug: So why does Plagg have “dad” in his name anyways?

PlaggDad: I have adopted Chat. he is my son because he has no parents.

Ladybug: oh

Ladybug: I didn’t know that

Ladybug: I’m sorry.

Kitten: Don’t listen to him, I have my father.

PlaggDad: your father is dead to me. you’re my Kitten not his.

Kitten: I know you don’t like him but he does care about me.

PlaggDad: I think he actually has to be present in your life to care about you.

Kitten: That’s low, Plagg.

PlaggDad: he’s low

7:25 PM

toilet-water: I don’t blame your father, if you were my child I’d disown you. Fortunately for me, my son is perfect.

Kitten: You have a kid??

MyWingsAren'tDark: Half of the time he forgets he does.

Ladybug: Poor kid.

Ladybug: Does he know that you... you know? 

Ladybug: Terrorize Paris. 

Ladybug: And stuff.

toilet-water: None of your business.

MyWingsAren’tDark: Only us kwamis and Mayura know that he is Hawk Moth.

toilet-water: Don’t give information to the enemy.

Kitten: I honestly can’t picture you being a father. I mean I think of you and you’re just supposed to be evil?

Kitten: but I guess evil people can love someone?? I never thought about it???

Kitten: I mean I did think that you and Mayura were together, and I guess it’s not as far as a stretch for you to have a kid that you love?

Kitten: You do love him, right??

PlaggDad: No he doesn’t.

toilet-water: My family is the most important thing to me.

PlaggDad: you have a funny way of showing it, old man. you treat your child horribly, I am a better father than you ever were or ever will be. And I’m Destruction incarnate!

Ladybug: If you’re looking for someone to adopt maybe you should adopt Hawk Moth’s kid once this is all over, Plagg.

PlaggDad: don’t worry Pigtails, I'm working on it.

toilet-water: Stay away from my son, you're a bad enough influence on Nooroo, you're not getting near perfection. 

Kitten: I’m used to thinking about us heroes having a life outside the mask, but I guess I never really stopped to think that you have a family and a life like us.

Kitten: guess that makes you a little bit more human to me. 

7:31 PM

Kitten: You’re still a horrible person though.

10:34 AM

Kitten: @Ladybug can you change my nickname? 

2:08 PM

Ladybug: to what?

Kitten: I have several ideas in mind...

Ladybug: are they puns?

Kitten: Purrhaps 😺

[Admin Ladybug changed Kitten’s name to “Never”.]

Never: My Lady! 🙀

Ladybug: 😝

Never: please?

2:14 PM

Never: Pretty please?

toilet-water: Stop spamming the chat I’m in a meeting.

Never: lkjsdkl

Never: kjldsflkj

Never: a

Never: a

Never: a

Never: a

Never: a

Never: a

Never: a

Never: a

Never: a

Never: a

Never: a

Never: a

Never: a

Never: a

Never: a

Never: a

Never: a

Never: a

Never: a

Never: a

Never: a

Never: a

Never: a

toilet-water: You’re not as funny as you think.

Never: a

2:21 PM

Never: @PlaggDad please change my name!

[Admin PlaggDad changed Never’s name to “Camembert”.]

Camembert: you’re only getting cheddar cheese for the next week.

PlaggDad: traitor.

Chapter Text

4:53 PM

Camembert: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive am I?

toilet-water: 0

Camembert: not you

ImBluu: 6.8

Camembert: @Ladybug how attractive am I?

5:05 PM

Ladybug: Find someone else to feed your ego.

Camembert: “Someone else to feed my ego”? 

Camembert: as in, if you were to answer, you would be feeding my ego? 

Camembert: meaning that you would be saying something positive about my attractiveness?

Camembert: in other words you find me attractive?

Ladybug: shut up

Camembert: come on Bugaboo, I’m just curious

Camembert: it doesn’t have to mean a thing

Camembert: just imagine I was some random person on the street, would you find me attractive?

Ladybug: ...

Ladybug: Fine.

Ladybug: This doesn’t mean a thing– and I’m holding you to that. I just see you as my best friend and only that.

Ladybug: But considering that you’re a superhero, meaning you have nicely toned muscles and a suit that shows it off, and seeing that I have a thing for blonds, yes, I would in a general sense label you as someone more “attractive”.

Camembert: 😍

Ladybug: Chat no

Camembert: My Lady thinks I’m attractive~ ❤

Ladybug: I SAID IT DOESN’T MEAN ANYTHING!

Camembert: I kid, Bugaboo

Camembert: just some friendly teasing from your favorite alley cat~

Camembert: Though let it be on record that you think I’m attractive.

Ladybug: Whatever helps you sleep at night

Camembert: Also let it be on record that I think you’re beautiful.

Ladybug: You’re sweet, Chaton. I hope you find someone that can give you the world.

Camembert: You are my world. 

[Admin Ladybug changed Camembert’s name to “Chaton”.]

ImBluu: my ship is sailing 🚢❤🚢❤🚢

Chapter Text

11:28 AM

Ladybug: @toilet-water your sense of design is horrible

MyWingsAren’tDark: Sensitive topic.

Peafoul: Sensitive topic.

Ladybug: Like what was even that akuma this morning??

toilet-water: Excuse me!

toilet-water: My sense of design is not horrible!

Peafoul: Sir.

toilet-water: It is an art! And I am a master!

Ladybug: I’m convinced you have never even heard of the word fashion before.

toilet-water: Mayura!!

toilet-water: help

[Admin Ladybug sent over 1 image.]

Ladybug: These are a few sketches I made of what you could have done with the same concept and they’re actually aesthetically pleasing!

Ladybug: You just seem to think that you can throw whatever elements at them and it works, but it doesn’t.

Ladybug: You add in too much and you ruin any good aspect of the design you have!

Ladybug: and don’t even get me started on your liberal use of bright colors

Ladybug: nothing wrong with it, but it doesn’t always work, neutral tones are very important to make a pallet more pleasing in many situations

[Admin Ladybug sent over 3 images.]

Ladybug: just a few more examples

toilet-water: but

toilet-water: that’s not

toilet-water: @Peafoul why are her designs so good??

toilet-water: If this were an interview I would hire you!

toilet-water: I’m not supposed to like anything about you.

toilet-water: Wait. Your quami, she’s the creation quami.

Pineapple: *kwami

toilet-water: That’s why your designs are decent, she’s been giving you advice.

Pineapple: Actually Ladybug came up with those on her own, I rarely give her advice.

toilet-water: what.

toilet-water: But when you come over you’re always telling me how to improve my designs!!

Ladybug: You design?

toilet-water: I

toilet-water: well

Peafoul: Of course we do. 

Peafoul: Do you think we come up with akuma and sentimonster designs off of the top of our heads? It is a long process.

toilet-water: Yes

toilet-water: What she said.

toilet-water: Akuma designing is hard work.

Ladybug: One sec

[Ladybug sent over designdoc.pdf]

Ladybug: Here’s a list of Youtube channels and Instagram accounts I like that are all designed-centered.

Ladybug: They’re more focused around clothes and costumes which I think can help you with your akuma designs. I threw in a few character design websites too that my artist friend showed me.

Ladybug: It’s all really fascinating, it tells you what things to avoid when coming up with a design, which traits can tie things together, things like that. 🙂

toilet-water: but I

Ladybug: Yeah, whatever, the big bad guy doesn’t want to accept help. But at the very least design some akumas that aren’t an eyesore.

toilet-water: but I

Chapter Text

11:57 AM

Chaton: Wait

Chaton: @Ladybug you follow adrienagrestebrand on Instagram?

Ladybug: Yeah? One of my favorite accounts, actually.

Chaton: omk

Chaton: that’s awesome 😄😄😄😄😄

Chaton: omk omk omk

Ladybug: What?

Chaton: nothing 

Chaton: I’m just on his Instagram a lot too

Chaton: I think it’s just cool

Ladybug: Are you a fan?

Chaton: um

Chaton: yeah. I am. 

Chaton: Adrien. cool guy.

toilet-water: Stop it. Both of you.

Ladybug: Speaking of the Agreste’s, Hawk Moth, you should check out the book “The Basics of Designing Casual Wear” by Gabriel Agreste. I know akumas aren’t exactly casual, but it’s a good resource for design and I think it will help you out.

toilet-water: I

toilet-water: I don’t even know what to say.

Peafoul: You don’t say anything.

Chaton: @Ladybug do you think Adrien Agreste is cute?

Ladybug: Why?

Chaton: Because

Chaton: idk

Chaton: i want to know?

PlaggDad: because he thinks Adrien Agreste is cute. ❤

Chaton: PLAGG?

PlaggDad: he’s obsessed with the kid, thinks he’s the bee’s knees, won’t stop talking about him.

PlaggDad: thinks he’s better than cheese. I thought I raised him better than this.

Ladybug: Yeah, I think Adrien’s cute

ImBluu: my ship 🚢❤🚢

12:06 PM

Ladybug: Chat?

PlaggDad: he’s screaming into his pillow right now

Chaton: I’m just glad to find a fellow fan???

Ladybug: And he’s very kind too

Ladybug: at least from what I’ve seen when I’ve needed to save him

Ladybug: a wonderful person 

PlaggDad: more screaming into his pillow.

Ladybug: If you’re that much of a fan Chaton I’m sure he wouldn’t mind a visit from a hero. We could even go together.

PlaggDad: yeah, we should go visit him, kid 

toilet-water: No!

Chaton: I’m fine

Chaton: you should go visit him though

Chaton: I heard he’s a big fan of yours

toilet-water: NO.

Ladybug: He is?

Ladybug: Gah I just want to hug him 😭

Ladybug: Adrien is the purest thing on this earth

PlaggDad: cue more pillow screaming

Ladybug: You don’t need to be so shy about it

Ladybug: If you think he’s cute I’m willing to talk about it with you

Ladybug: actually it would be nice to have someone to talk about it with my friends say I'm obsessed 

Ladybug: because I’m not going to lie, Adrien Agreste is hot

PlaggDad: I think you broke Chat.

toilet-water: Do not talk about the “hotness” of Adrien Agreste!

Ladybug: Why? Do you hate him or something? 😮

[PlaggDad sent over 1 image.]

[Chaton sent over 3 images.]

toilet-water: Do not send me pictures of him either! Delete those from off of your devices!

[Ladybug sent over 37 images.]

Chaton: what?

toilet-water: What?

Peafoul: What?

Pineapple: That’s only part of her collection.

Ladybug: Tikki shut up or no cookies for a week

toilet-water: I will give you whatever form of sugar you want if you delete all photos of Adrien from off of their devices.

Pineapple: Tempting.

Pineapple: But no. 😝 

toilet-water: I hate you.

[Admin Ladybug changed toilet-water’s name to “CinnamonRollHater”.]

CinnamonRollHater: But I like cinnamon rolls?

Chapter Text

9:27 AM

Chaton: Mwahaha!!

Chaton: Today I am following my destiny. I am an orphan (according to Plagg), isolated, born with the powers of destruction– clearly I was destined to be evil!

Chaton: so that’s why I’m joining Hawky Mothy

CinnamonRollHater: wait what

Chaton: I can no longer resist the call of evil

Chaton: I now must embrace my inner self and help assist horribly dressed villains in the art of destroying city landmarks in a vain quest for jewelry.

CinnamonRollHater: Hey!

MyWingsAren’tDark: I agree. After seeing how easily my powers corrupt I must turn to the dark side. Me and my holder shall rule with an iron fist, akumatizing all!

Ladybug: What a shame, Chaton. Here I have finally returned my feelings for you, only for you to betray me in cold blood. We shall now be distant enemies, in love with one another, but bound to a different cause.

ImBluu: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

ImBluu: i love enemy aus

Ladybug: When we clash on the battlefield tears will fall.

Chaton: My Cataclysm barely misses you, and I pretend it wasn’t on purpose. Even after my betrayal I can’t bring myself to harm you, but I cannot turn once more, as my loyalties lie with Hawk Moth.

Peafoul: I’m going to quit my current job and take a well deserved vacation to Hawaii. Drink smoothies from a pineapple while Duusu catches some waves.

CinnamonRollHater: You can’t quit!

CinnamonRollHater: I need you!

CinnamonRollHater: I literally depend on you to run my company and to parent my child!

CinnamonRollHater: My only good evil plans are when you’re involved!

Ladybug: Dear kwamis, give that woman a raise.

Chaton: I agree, as I am now Hawk Moth’s ally.

CinnamonRollHater: I didn’t agree to this.

Ladybug: Soon you’ll have me cornered, my Miraculous just in your reach. I’ll have nowhere to go, tears streaming down my face.

Ladybug: “What happened to you Chaton? I thought I could trust you. You were supposed to be my partner!”

Chaton: I look away dramatically, shadows covering my eyes. “I’m sorry, My Lady,” I spit out the once fond nickname sarcastically. “You cannot understand our goals. I wish you could, so it wouldn’t have to come to this, but you left me no choice.”

Ladybug: “You don’t have to do this!” I back away, but there is no escape. I lost my yoyo earlier in the fight, and I’m injured from the battle. My earrings beep, only minutes until I’m left completely defenseless and at Evil Chat Noir’s mercy. “There are other ways! You can help design horrible fashion without it being only for akumatized people!”

CinnamonRollHater: What is happening?

Chaton: I scoff. “You are so naive. Do you know how much it would cost to make all of those outfits? Who would be willing to sponsor such atrocities? We would never get them on the market! Akumas are the only way!”

Ladybug: I only have a minute left, and I let out a bitter laugh. “Well, it looks like you have won, Chaton, I have nowhere to go. I have failed Paris, and horrible fashion will corrupt the rest of the people. Just... just make it quick.” Tears pool in my eyes as my once trusted partner draws closer. “Just know... I have always loved you.”

Chaton: Clawed hands reach towards her earrings, and Ladybug closes her eyes. Chat Noir hesitates, his hands inches from his goal, the Miraculous he and Hawk Moth need just in reach.

CinnamonRollHater: Yes! Grab them while you can!

Chaton: He pauses, before grabbing the sides of her face and pulling her into a kiss.

Ladybug: Ladybug returns it passionately.

CinnamonRollHater: No!

Chaton: Two enemies united in love. He sees a flash of pink light through closed eyelids as she detransforms, but he keeps his eyes closed as her arms wrap around his neck, deepening the kiss.

CinnamonRollHater: Open your eyes you fool!

Peafoul: You realize none of this is happening, right?

CinnamonRollHater: Shut up I’m still mad about you quitting.

Ladybug: They know they can’t stay like this.

Chaton: So regrettably Chat Noir pulls away, eyes still closed so he doesn’t see who she truly is. He walks down the alleyway, leaving behind the one he loves, and his chance to win this war.

CinnamonRollHater: You had her cornered and you walked away????

CinnamonRollHater: Worst ally ever you’re fired.

Chaton: Betrayed by his master Chat Noir turns against Hawk Moth, stealing his Miraculous and terrorizes the city himself.

CinnamonRollHater: You can’t do that!

Peafoul: I return from Hawaii and join the new Butterfly Miraculous holder.

CinnamonRollHater: Mayura!!!!!!!!

Chaton: Papillon Noir and Mayura rule Paris with an iron fist.

Ladybug: Ladybug joins them. Hawk Moth becomes the new guardian and with the Turtle Miraculous he has to protect Paris from the new villians.

Chaton: The end.

CinnamonRollHater: No! I do not agree with this!

CinnamonRollHater: And you can’t quit or betray me, Mayura. I won’t let you.

Peafoul: Sir, look at the date.

CinnamonRollHater: It’s the first of April.

CinnamonRollHater: oh

Chapter Text

2:24 AM

[Chaton sent over 4 images.]

8:19 AM

Ladybug: I knew this was going to happen eventually.

Ladybug: No cat memes allowed.

Chaton: 🙀🙀🙀

CinnamonRollHater: I for once agree with Ladybug.

Chaton: No one cares about what you think.

Peafoul: Aren’t you supposed to be in a meeting right now?

CinnamonRollHater: What meeting?

MyWingsAren’tDark: The meeting I have been trying to tell you about since you’ve woken up but you kept shushing me.

Peafoul: I’ll arrange a suitable excuse for you, sir.

Chaton: Wow. He really is your boss.

Chaton: Like just not in the super villain-ing thing

Chaton: Well I hope his meeting is long and boring.

ImBluu: theyre in love

Peafoul: That’s enough Duusu.

Chaton: So what do you get out of this, Mayura? You seem dedicated to the cause, are you going to be his second in command once he rules the world?

Peafoul: Contrary to what you seem to think, we’re not after world domination. Or harming anyone for that matter.

Peafoul: If you were to give us your Miraculouses this fighting would end.

Chaton: you can have my miraculous

Chaton: on the day Plagg gives up camembert cheese

PlaggDad: NEVER!

Chaton: There’s your answer.

Peafoul: His wish is not a harmful one.

Ladybug: It doesn’t matter what the wish is, there is always a price.

MyWingsAren’tDark: I’ve told them that many times, Ladybug, and they don’t care.

Peafoul: We’ll pay any price necessary.

Ladybug: What wish do you guys even want?

11:32 AM

Ladybug: that’s what I thought.

5:38 AM

CinnamonRollHater: Listen up you annoying children, I have wonderful news for you!

CinnamonRollHater: No akumas for the next week!

CinnamonRollHater: Because I am busy.

Chaton: oh thank goodness

Chaton: I’m busy too

Chaton: don’t expect me to ever say this to you again, but thank you.

11:41 AM

Ladybug: say whatever you want I’m not lowering my guard, hawk moth.

Ladybug: also– how on earth do you all get up so early? like I swear you guys always send messages at nothing-o’clock in the morning.

Ladybug: like why would you do that to yourself????

Ladybug: are you even human?

Chaton: I have work.

CinnamonRollHater: Some of us are actually a productive member of society and have a job.

Ladybug: did you just

Pineapple: Run.

Ladybug: “Productive member of society”???

Ladybug: “Productive member of society”?????

Ladybug: YOU LITERALLY TERRORIZE THIS CITY WITH MAGICAL VILLAINS

Ladybug: PEOPLE HAVE DIED AND IF IT WASN’T FOR ME THEY WOULD STILL BE DEAD

Ladybug: it is literally my job to protect this city and clean up your mess so don’t you dare accuse me of not being a “productive” member of society you pathetic butterfly wannabe when you’ve done nothing but hurt Paris

[Admin Ladybug changed CinnamonRollHater’s name to “PatheticButterflyMan”.]

PatheticButterflyMan: Children these days have no respect.

Ladybug: says the one that invades people’s minds, twists their emotions, and makes them attack the people they love

Ladybug: just shut up boomer

PatheticButterflyMan: What is that even supposed to mean?

[Admin Ladybug changed PatheticButterflyMan’s name to “okayboomer”.]

Chapter Text

9:15 AM 

[okayboomer sent over a link.]

okayboomer: And from this article on the Ladyblog I quote: “Hawk Moth is nothing more than a pathetic butterfly wannabe who we shouldn't even give the luxury of fearing.”

okayboomer: And because of your little interview, photographs of me with varying captions of “pathetic butterfly wannabe” are now appearing all over the internet!

Peafoul: They're called memes, sir.

okayboomer: They're an insult, that's what they are! I demand an apology, Ladybug.

Ladybug: I apologize for telling the truth

okayboomer: YOU WILL REGRET EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER SAID TO ME!

okayboomer: I WILL TAKE YOUR MIRACULOUS AND EVERYTHING YOU LOVE!

Ladybug: okay boomer.

okayboomer: Mayura!

okayboomer: help

10:24 AM

okayboomer: So, I have done my research.

okayboomer: And I find the name of “okayboomer” offensive.

okayboomer: You are insulting an entire generation, a generation that you do not know if I am even a part of.

okayboomer: As such, I am formally telling you to change my name to something more appropriate. “Night’s Wings” or perhaps “Passing Shadows” are my preferred choices. I want it changed before the next time I come online.

1:13 PM

okayboomer: @ Ladybug, @PlaggDad , Neither of you have changed my name yet. I am being patient at the moment, but that won’t be so for long.

Chaton: @Ladybug @PlaggDad look grandpa actually thinks we should do something he says, lol.

2:43 PM

okayboomer: I’m losing my patience.

Chaton: @PlaggDad may I? please?

PlaggDad: very well. use your power well, my Kitten.

[Chaton was set to admin.]

Chaton:😼😈

Chaton: so much potential 

[Admin Chaton changed their name to “FelinePurrfect”.]

[Admin FelinePurrfect changed Ladybug’s name to “Bugaboo”.]

[Admin FelinePurrfect changed okayboomer’s name to “Moth-erOfAllEvil”.]

[Admin FelinePurrfect changed Peafoul’s name to “FeatherOrNot”.]

PlaggDad: okay that’s enough.

[Admin FelinePurrfect changed Pineapple's name to “MiniBug”.]

[FelinePurrfect was removed as admin.]

PlaggDad: that’s why you weren’t made an admin in the first place.

Moth-erOfAllEvil: This is not the name I asked for.

FelinePurrfect: do you think we care?

2:59 PM

Bugaboo: @FelinePurrfect we got an akuma at the louvre, heading there now. Apparently it has the power to change your name?? This should be an easy one.

Bugaboo: wait who changed my nickname

Chapter Text

7:14 PM

FelinePurrfect: @Moth-erOfAllEvil I was having a purrfectly good day with my friend and your akuma went and ruined it.

PlaggDad: you mean with your girlfriend.

FelinePurrfect: she’s just my friend, plagg

PlaggDad: one day you’re going to regret saying that.

7:32 PM

Bugaboo: that poor girl.

Bugaboo: also I was having an amazing afternoon until you ruined it you butterfly wannabe.

MiniBug: Oh these two.

PlaggDad: Tell me about it.

Moth-erOfAllEvil: You know, telling me that my akumas make you miserable only makes me more eager to send out another one.

FelinePurrfect: you’re a clawful person, I hope you know that.

Moth-erOfAllEvil: If you think that’s an insult, it really isn’t. I’ve been cocooned with words like that for years, it honestly means nothing to me at that point.

FelinePurrfect: your civilian self sounds like such a wonderful person.

Moth-erOfAllEvil: I know I am.

FeatherOrNot: That was sarcasm, sir.

FelinePurrfect: Yep. and if you want my honest opinion you’re paw-ethic. 

Moth-erOfAllEvil: Please, at least I’m not just winging it in fights like you and the bug are.

FelinePurrfect: Don’t you dare insult My Lady!

FelinePurrfect: wait.

FelinePurrfect: Have you been... punning?

Moth-erOfAllEvil: ...

Moth-erOfAllEvil: My akumas will kick your butt-erflies.

FelinePurrfect: omk

Bugaboo: oh no

Bugaboo: please don’t tell me this is about to happen

FeatherOrNot: I’m afraid it is.

FelinePurrfect: I have a feline that our ladies find the art of puns pawful, which is unfurtunate.

Moth-erOfAllEvil: Mayura tends to make things hawkard when she fails to laugh at my jokes. Which is a shame, as her laugh makes my heart flutter. She is amazing, but can be a bit cocky.

FeatherOrNot: Me?? Cocky?? Have you looked in a mirror?

FeatherOrNot: Wait.

FeatherOrNot: An attempt at a peacock pun.

FeatherOrNot: You were reaching on that one.

Moth-erOfAllEvil: Oh my dear Mayura, I can see that you’re not emused, but feather or not you enjoy it you will find that those of us that are more refined will quack up at such jokes. It is quite an eggcellent way to emuse oneself.

FeatherOrNot: Bird puns. Wonderful.

FeatherOrNot: ...

FeatherOrNot: Was the “flutter” thing from before just for the pun or does my laugh really do that to you?

Bugaboo: are you calling Chat Noir refined?

FelinePurrfect: Meowch, that hurt, m’lady. Purrhaps you should apawlogize?

Bugaboo: @FeatherOrNot do you want to start our own pun-free chat?

FeatherOrNot: Sounds wonderful.

Moth-erOfAllEvil: Punderful.

FelinePerfect: Chat, you say?

Bugaboo: *sigh*

FelinePerfect: And you call me dramatic. I know you’re exaggerating, My Lady, I’ve heard you pun before.

Moth-erOfAllEvil: And if I recall correctly someone said they liked their nickname as “Peafoul”, saying it was clever.

Moth-erOfAllEvil: And guess just what happens to be a pun?

FeatherOrNot: ...

Bugaboo: Well, sorry if an excess of them tends to bug me. On occasion I may find one that’s spot on and it will make me laugh, but when you just spew them out I just have to ask “are you kitten me?”, because at times it’s ridiculous.

Bugaboo: that hurt to type

FelinePurrfect: marry me.

ImBluu: yes

ImBluu: please

ImBluu: marry her and invite me to the wedding

FeatherOrNot: Weren’t you in your Miraculous? I didn’t let you out!

ImBluu: my ship was sailing

ImBluu: no brooch can keep me contained then

Bugaboo: I think you’d like my real name, Chaton

Bugaboo: because if you look up the meaning you’ll find that it is a pun (thanks dad)

FelinePurrfect: 😍

Moth-erOfAllEvil: What does your name mean?

Bugaboo: It roughly translates to “go crawl into a hole”.

Moth-erOfAllEvil: I can and will send out an akuma at midnight.

FeatherOrNot: We do not have time to send out akumas this week– your schedule is full and I am not rearranging it for supervillain-ing again! 

Moth-erOfAllEvil: ...

Moth-erOfAllEvil: I control your paycheck.

FeatherOrNot: And I know the identity and location of a wanted supervillain.

Moth-erOfAllEvil: ...

Moth-erOfAllEvil: So! Puns!

Moth-erOfAllEvil: Wonderful topic!

Moth-erOfAllEvil: My son’s name is actually a pun on akumas.

Moth-erOfAllEvil: My wife would kill me if she knew that.

Moth-erOfAllEvil: ...You are not to ever say a word about this to her, Mayura.

FeatherOrNot: I see no reason to.

FeatherOrNot: For now.

9:38 PM

FelinePurrfect: my fathers assistant is suddenly laughing at anything thats remotely funny?

FelinePurrfect: for like no reason

FelinePurrfect: she’s usually so stoic I just don’t know what to make of it???

9:59 PM

FelinePurrfect: should I be scared?

Chapter Text

7:42 PM

ImBluu: o

ImBluu: m

ImBluu: k

ImBluu: @everyone

ImBluu: i have just discovered the most beautiful thing in this world

ImBluu: you can actually wrote your own fanfiction

PlaggDad: oh boy

ImBluu: you knew about this and you didnt tell me

PlaggDad: of course I know about it, I have to sit here watching Chat read and write ladynoir fics

FelinePurrfect: PLAGG!!!!!!!!!!

PlaggDad: what?

FelinePurrfect: delete that don’t out me like that!

PlaggDad: @Bugaboo Chat Noir reads and writes LadyNoir fics

FelinePurrfect: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FelinePurrfect: dairy free cheese

FelinePurrfect: for a month

PlaggDad: you wouldn’t

Bugaboo: don’t worry Plagg, I’ll provide you with cheese

PlaggDad: you’re an angel, Pigtails

FelinePurrfect: someone cataclysm me, please

Bugaboo: don’t worry Chaton, I’m not surprised, I figured you did

Bugaboo: well, read it, I honestly don’t know what to make of you writing it

ImBluu: @FelinePurrfect lets do a ladynoir collab fic

ImBluu: plz its one of my otps

MiniBug: How do you know so much about fandom terms but have only just discovered that you can write fanfiction?

ImBluu: i just thought it was just online like other online stuff i didnt know you could type it up yourself and its amazing and im already writing like five fics i made an account im going to upload all of them

PlaggDad: make sure you get an editor.

ImBluu: why

FelinePurrfect: this is the most embarrassing day of my life. I’m not showing up for patrol.

ImBluu: im writing hawk moth x mayura fics and no one can stop me

ImBluu: and gabenath

MiniBug: Duusu.

Bugaboo: “gabenath”?

ImBluu: the agrestes

ImBluu: have you seen gabriel and his assistant

ImBluu: the peak of romance

Moth-erOfAllEvil: Do you even know what romance is?

ImBluu: gabenath is my fav ship

FelinePurrfect: I ship them too!

ImBluu: omk

ImBluu: ladynoir and gabenath collab fic

ImBluu: were doing this

FelinePurrfect: ...

FelinePurrfect: count me in

FeatherOrNot: Send me the link when you’re done.

Chapter Text

6:18 PM

Bugaboo: that’s it, I’m writing a cararouge fic and you can’t stop me

FelinePurrfect: why would we stop you?

FelinePurrfect: especially if there’s some background LadyNoir... 😽

Bugaboo: no. 

Bugaboo: anyways my friend keeps writing ladynoir fics and is making me edit them

Bugaboo: so I’m gonna write cararouge and make HER read and edit that and see how she feels reading fics about herself

FelinePurrfect: wait is she Rena Rouge?

FelinePurrfect: omk, My Lady, you have to tell me her reaction that is hilarious!

Bugaboo: part of me is tempted to make it a renabee fic but I’m pretty sure she’d kill me

Bugaboo: she hates Chloe

Bugaboo: man it feels weird to be using a holder’s real name in this chat

Moth-erOfAllEvil: Chloe is the Bee Miraculous holder?

Bugaboo: please tell me you’re joking

Moth-erOfAllEvil: Of course I am. My sense of humor is impeccable, isn’t it?

Bugaboo: I’m rolling on the floor, dying of laughter. I can’t breathe. So so funny.

Bugaboo: hahaha

Bugaboo: note the sarcasm I can’t type out.

Moth-erOfAllEvil: I’m funny, aren’t I @FeatherOrNot ?

FeatherOrNot: I love you, sir, but you don’t have a sense of humor.

FeatherOrNot: *I love working with you, sir

FeatherOrNot: I need new glasses, it’s hard to see the letters on my tablet’s keyboard.

Moth-erOfAllEvil: I just bought you new glasses last week!

FeatherOrNot: Well they were either cheap or not my prescription, I suppose.

Moth-erOfAllEvil: Well maybe I would buy you better glasses if you’d stop throwing them across the room every time you transform!

FeatherOrNot: I put my life on the line every time I transform.

FeatherOrNot: I have the right to make it look awesome.

FelinePurrfect: @ImBluu I take back what I said in our DMs last night, you’re right– MayuraXHawk Moth is beautiful and hilarious.

Moth-erOfAllEvil: We are not a couple! Besides, what are “DMs”? @FeatherOrNot

FeatherOrNot: Sorry, I can’t reply, I need new glasses.

Moth-erOfAllEvil: Fine, I’ll order you some new ones.

Moth-erOfAllEvil: wait. You just replied right then!

Moth-erOfAllEvil: What are “DMs”? District Manager? Digital Maintenance? 

Moth-erOfAllEvil: Dinosaur Market?

FelinePurrfect: no one reply this is hilarious

FelinePurrfect: wait

FelinePurrfect: they don’t have a ship name

FelinePurrfect: @ImBluu

ImBluu: ive tried but mayura said no to everything i suggested

FeatherOrNot: Unfortunately our Miraculouses don’t combine well into a ship name.

ImBluu: how about peamoth

MyWingsAren’tDark: He has the Butterfly Miraculous not the Moth!

FelinePurrfect: PeaHawk?

MyWingsAren’tDark: He doesn’t have the Hawk Miraculous!

Bugaboo: Peahawk? what’s that? A sea hawk but greener? 😂

PlaggDad: or maybe yellower?

MiniBug: Plagg!

PlaggDad: what?

MiniBug: there’s children in this chat!

PlaggDad: first of all, they’re teenagers. second of all children would have found that hilarious. third of all it's my chat. 

MiniBug: PLAGG!

PlaggDad: fourth of all you’re overreacting and it's hilarious. 😼

FelinePurrfect: Let’s stick to ‘hawk moth’ and ‘mayura’ for finding a ship name. Others... just don’t work. trust me.

FelinePurrfect: PeaFly is as good as it gets.

Moth-erOfAllEvil: We don’t need a “relationship” name, because we aren’t together.

FelinePurrfect: neither are me and My Lady (yet), but we still manage to have an awesome ship

Bugaboo: My vote goes to PeaMoth so far.

FelinePurrfect: HawkYura? MayMoth?

FeatherOrNot: MayMoth? That sounds nice.

FelinePurrfect: M&M shipping for short! 😸

ImBluu: they have a perfectly good ship name in their civilian forms but no we have to worry about secret identities and battles when everyone could just get married and be happy

ImBluu: i mean hawk moth and mayura getting married would literally solve everything

PlaggDad: I was about to say you’re taking this shipping thing too far, but then I realized you’re right. them getting married would fix just about everything.

MyWingsAren’tDark: Operation HawkYura then, everyone? 

Moth-erOfAllEvil: No!

Bugaboo: he’s right

Bugaboo: because clearly it’s Operation PeaMoth

FelinePurrfect: PeaHawk

FeatherOrNot: It’s MayMoth.

Moth-erOfAllEvil: Mayura???

FeatherOrNot: Sorry I can’t reply I need new glasses.

Chapter Text

Mayura and Hawk Moth

8:30 AM

Hawk Moth: Nooroo is getting on my nerves so I hid all his wine in the attic, don’t tell him.

Mayura: Of course, sir.

Mayura and Nooroo

8:35 AM  

Nooroo: Where did he put my wine this time?

Mayura: In the attic.

Nooroo: Thank you!

Mayura and Hawk Moth

9:07 AM

Hawk Moth: @Mayura He found all the wine again!

Hawk Moth: He’s costing me a fortune!

Mayura: To be fair you have a fortune.

Hawk Moth: Yeah but he likes the well aged wine, which is my favorite.

Hawk Moth: And when I ask for some more because he drinks it all the chefs look at me weird.

Hawk Moth: It’s not fair.

Mayura: I’m sorry, sir.

Mayura and Chat Noir

2:30 AM

[Chat Noir sent over a link.]

Mayura: I’ve already read that one.

Chat Noir: any of it’s advice work?

Mayura: No.

Chat Noir: the person you love not loving you back is the worse

Mayura: I have a whole essay written about it.

Chat Noir: haha, I could write a ted talk

[Mayura sent over unrequitedlove.doc.]

Chat Noir: wait you really wrote an essay??

Mayura and Ladybug

5:12 PM

Ladybug: I’m only going to say this once

Ladybug: I absolutely love your costume as Mayura, it is beautiful and I’m jealous.

Mayura: Thank you.

Mayura and Hawk Moth

9:02 PM

Hawk Moth: @Mayura

Hawk Moth: Nathalie read over this please.

[Hawk Moth sent over raplyrics.doc.]

Mayura: What?

Hawk Moth: All good villains have a theme song, so I’m writing one.

Mayura: A rap?

Hawk Moth: Yes, now read over it and tell me what you think.

9:13 PM

Mayura: I don’t know what to say.

Hawk Moth: You’re speechless? Perfect.

Hawk Moth: Read over these too when you can.

[Hawk Moth sent over monolouges.doc.]

Mayura: Does this even matter? You give these when you’re alone.

Hawk Moth: Nooroo and my akumas can hear me, Nathalie– of course it is important! 

Hawk Moth: Granted my akumas don’t remember any of it.

Mayura: Lucky them.

Hawk Moth: Nathalie?

Mayura: I’ll have them edited by tomorrow morning.

Hawk Moth: Thank you, my Nathalie!

[Save screenshot?]

[Screenshot saved.]

Mayura and Ladybug

2:12 PM

Mayura: So you read Gabriel Agreste’s books?

Ladybug: yes. 

Mayura: Are you a fan of his work?

Ladybug: yes. why?

Mayura: Nothing, I just find that amusing.

Ladybug: Why?

Mayura: I am also a fan of his work. I just supposed it is strange to have the same interest as one’s enemy.

Ladybug: What did you think of his article about designing wedding apparel he released a couple of weeks ago?

Mayura: Loved it. Especially the video of Gabriel reading it. I could listen to him all day.

Ladybug: really?

Mayura: I suppose you could say he’s my celebrity crush.

Ladybug: Well that’s another thing we have in common, I suppose– it seems we are both interested in an Agreste.

Mayura: You have a crush on Adrien? Interesting.

Ladybug: It’s not like I’m the only person that does, that narrows down nothing

Mayura: True.

Ladybug: Let me just say Gabriel Agreste is definitely a better option for you than hawk moth. Of course just about anyone is better than hawk moth

Mayura: You could never understand my feelings.

Mayura and Hawk Moth

6:12 AM

Hawk Moth: Nathalie!

Hawk Moth: This is a disaster!

Mayura: Yes, sir?

Hawk Moth: The new suit I ordered doesn't fit!

Mayura: Send me a picture.

Hawk Moth: Why?

Mayura: So I can see the problem and order you a new one.

[Hawk Moth sent over 1 image.]

Mayura: Thank you.

Hawk Moth: You’ll get this taken care of? 

Mayura: Right away.

3:33 PM

Hawk Moth: Nathalie why is that picture I sent the background on your computer?

3:45 PM

Hawk Moth: @Mayura

Mayura: Sorry I can’t reply I need new glasses.

Hawk Moth: I just ordered you some??

4:02 PM

Hawk Moth: Never mind I asked Adrien and apparently it's normal to have photos of your friends as your background.

Hawk Moth: Apparently his friend Marinette has him as her background on her phone, isn’t that sweet?

Mayura: ...

Hawk Moth: Anyways here’s some more flattering photos of me you can choose from.

[Hawk Moth sent over 6 photos.]

Mayura: ...

Mayura: Thank you.

Hawk Moth: Well?

Mayura: Sir?

Hawk Moth: I need some photos of you for my background. You’re my friend.

4:15 PM

Hawk Moth: Nathalie?

[Mayura sent over 3 photos.]

Mayura and Duusu

8:32 PM

Duusu: miss nathalie!!!!!!

[Duusu sent over a link.]

Duusu: i found a new fanfiction author that writes hawkyura fics

Duusu: i mean there are hawkyura stuff out there but usually its just background to the other hero romance fics but this one focuses on it so you should totally read this authors works they have like a dozen hawkyura stories

Duusu: omk

Duusu: they have a couple of gabenath stories too i cant believe this it is beautiful dont you agree

Mayura: ...

Duusu: miss nathalie are you okay i thought youd like this

Mayura: That’s my fanfiction account you found, Duusu.

Chapter Text

2:38 AM

Bugaboo: alkjdsfkjlfsd

Bugaboo: what has my life come to?

5:31 AM

FelinePurrfect: what’s wrong, My Lady?

6:00 AM

FelinePurrfect: Ladybug are you okay?

FelinePurrfect: @Bugaboo

Bugaboo: I’m fine Kitty, don’t worry

Bugaboo: just civilian teen life problems

Bugaboo: the usual

Bugaboo: also never @ this early unless there’s an akuma

FelinePurrfect: yes m’lady

7:11 AM

Moth-erOfAllEvil: I hope you were miserable @Bugaboo.

Bugaboo: @MyWingsAren’tDark please @ me when hawkity mothity has a meeting so i can @ him fiften times in a row

MyWingsAren’tDark: He has one at 7:30.

Moth-erOfAllEvil: Don’t you dare tell her!

Moth-erOfAllEvil: ...

Bugaboo: thank you Nooroo 💕

Moth-erOfAllEvil: No wine for a week

MyWingsAren’tDark: This is kwami abuse.

7:36 AM

Bugaboo: @Moth-erOfAllEvil

Bugaboo: @Moth-erOfAllEvil

Bugaboo: @Moth-erOfAllEvil

Bugaboo: @Moth-erOfAllEvil

Bugaboo: @Moth-erOfAllEvil

Bugaboo: @Moth-erOfAllEvil

Bugaboo: @Moth-erOfAllEvil

Bugaboo: @Moth-erOfAllEvil

Bugaboo: @Moth-erOfAllEvil

Bugaboo: @Moth-erOfAllEvil

Bugaboo: @Moth-erOfAllEvil

Bugaboo: @Moth-erOfAllEvil

Bugaboo: @Moth-erOfAllEvil

Bugaboo: @Moth-erOfAllEvil

Bugaboo: @Moth-erOfAllEvil

Moth-erOfAllEvil: I thought you wanted to sleep.

Bugaboo: can’t sleep when i need to exact justice

Moth-erOfAllEvil: You’re petty.

Bugaboo: why don’t you go and take a look in a mirror

FelinePurrfect: don’t tell him to do that!

FelinePurrfect: he’ll give himself nightmares.

Moth-erOfAllEvil: One day both of you will lay defeated at my feet

FelinePurrfect: *at Mayura’s feet

FelinePurrfect: because if anyone is actually going to have the brains to actually beat us out of the two of you it’s her

ImBluu: buuuuuurrrrrrrrrrnnnn🔥

Chapter Text

8:32 PM

Moth-erOfAllEvil: @Bugaboo @FelinePurrfect Hello.

FelinePurrfect: what?

Moth-erOfAllEvil: both of you are teenagers.

Bugaboo: stunning observation

Moth-erOfAllEvil: Say if you were going to be receiving a present from your paternal figure for the day of your birth, what item would you find the most pleasing?

Moth-erOfAllEvil: asking for a friend

Bugaboo: why in Tikki’s sweet name did you word it like that

FelinePurrfect: you’re really asking us? ever heard of the internet?

Moth-erOfAllEvil: Well, sorry! My wife was always the one to pick out his gifts, and Mayura has been covering for me, but she says I have to pick out something myself for him this year!

Moth-erOfAllEvil: She also said to ask someone his age for advice, so...

FeatherOrNot: I meant asking his friends, but I suppose this works as well.

Moth-erOfAllEvil: I’ve akumatized his friends, it would be weird to talk to them when I’ve been in their heads.

FelinePurrfect: You’ve akumatized your son’s friends? What kind of father does that?

Bugaboo: Only him because he’s the only one that can akumatize people.

Bugaboo: What does your son like?

Moth-erOfAllEvil: ...

Bugaboo: You know? his interests?

Bugaboo: please tell me you know

Moth-erOfAllEvil: He orders a lot of cheese and Ladybug merchandise.

FelinePurrfect: it is both strange and hilarious that hawk moth’s kid is our fan

FelinePurrfect: buy him that most recent limited edition Ladybug action figure coming out next month

Moth-erOfAllEvil: He pre-ordered that one the moment it was announced.

FelinePurrfect: same

Bugaboo: I don’t know what to do with this information

PlaggDad: chat plays with his Ladybug and Chat Noir figurines all the time

FelinePurrfect: plagg will you please shut up?

PlaggDad: he has them kiss

FelinePurrfect: plagg!!!!!!!!!! please!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PlaggDad: during the syren attack he was sulking with them then tried to bribe me with cheese

PlaggDad: if the chat doll isn’t kissing the ladybug doll then the real chat is.

FelinePurrfect: anyone want to trade kwamis?

Moth-erOfAllEvil: Yes I will gladly take the Black Cat Miraculous off of your hands you can have the Peacock.

FelinePurrfect: no can do, I’m allergic to feathers.

Bugaboo: You have dolls of us kiss?

FelinePurrfect: Chat Noir has left the chat, goodbye cruel world.

MiniBug: If it makes you feel any better, Ladybug has handmade dolls of the two of you.

Bugaboo: and dolls of the other heroes and akuma victims! 

Bugaboo: don’t take that out of context!

MiniBug: She lets a girl she babysits play with them.

MiniBug: This little girl also thinks Ladybug and Chat Noir should get married.

Bugaboo: tikki...

MiniBug: Let’s just say Ladybug here has helped reenact plenty of LadyNoir dates and kisses and even a couple of weddings with her dolls.

Bugaboo: Out. Of. Context.

Bugaboo: What do you want me to do? “sorry name-of-child-I-babysit, but I won’t play this game with you because you see I am really ladybug so I’m going to say no to all of your ideas.” My job is to keep her happy, and sometimes playing wedding with two dolls makes her happy.

MiniBug: You and Chat’s wedding vows get more complicated every time.

MiniBug: and I don’t think a five year old cares about wedding vows.

ImBluu: also just want to note you havent changed your nickname from bugaboo even though you can so thats evidence that my ship is sailing and you cant convince me otherwise ladynoir forever

FelinePurrfect: Can we compare the wedding vows you have to the ones I have?

Bugaboo: I’m done.

[Admin PlaggDad changed Bugaboo’s name to “Done”.]

MiniBug: “Oh Chaton, you’ve always been my partner, so it only makes sense that you’re my partner in all things.”

Done: tikki

MiniBug: “Not ‘until death do we part’, because I want to be by your side forever.”

[Admin Done kicked MiniBug from the chat.]

FelinePurrfect: just when it was starting to get interesting.

Done: you’re on thin ice

FelinePurrfect: do you take commissions? I want a handmade Ladybug and Chat doll.

Done: 200 euros. Per doll.

FelinePurrfect: no problem. ;)

Moth-erOfAllEvil: Perhaps I can commisson you as well for something for my son. Just give me your address so I can pick it up.

Done: in your dreams

12:08 AM 

FelinePurrfect: @Moth-erOfAllEvil you asked us earlier what you think someone our age would want from their parent

FelinePurrfect: and honestly if you ask me, the best thing you can give them is your time.

Chapter Text

5:32 PM

[SugarCube was added to the chat.]

5:48 PM

SugarCube: Took you long enough, Plagg.

PlaggDad: I thought Ladybug would have added you back by now. 

PlaggDad: and I was getting lonely without all the active kwamis here.

PlaggDad: wait

6:52 PM

[WhichWayzz was added to the chat.]

[SomeOldMan was added to the chat.]

PlaggDad: @everyone say hi to our new guests

PlaggDad: idk if they’re going to stay, it depends on how I feel

WhichWayzz: Plagg, what is this?

PlaggDad: this is the group chat for all permanent miraculous holders, and I realized I forgot you two

PlaggDad: but to be fair you’re both boring, so yeah

SugarCube: Plagg! Be nice!

Moth-erOfAllEvil: There’s another permanent Miraculous holder? Who? Since when?

FeatherOrNot: The guardian, sir.

SomeOldMan: That is correct. Would you like to explain why you have a chat room with our sworn enemies, Plagg?

PlaggDad: it’s part of my master plan.

PlaggDad: also it's just a way to annoy hawkward mop, so that’s a plus too.

PlaggDad: ooo, I like that

[Admin PlaggDad changed Moth-erOfAllEvil’s name to “HawkwardMop”.]

Done: Master!

[Admin Done changed their name to “Ladybug”.]

SomeOldMan: Hello, Ladybug. I wasn’t aware of what the kwamis were doing.

Ladybug: it’s okay, honestly it's nice to have a way to reach Chat and somewhere to complain to hawkward when we need to.

[Admin PlaggDad changed Ladybug’s name to “LadyNoire.]

[Admin LadyNoire changed their name to “Ladybug”.]

[Admin PlaggDad changed Ladybug’s name to “LadyNoire”.]

[Admin LadyNoire changed their name to “Ladybug”.]

[Admin PlaggDad changed Ladybug’s name to “Princess”.]

[Admin Princess changed their name to “kjlsdjk”.]

[Admin kjlsdjk deleted 2 messages.]

[Admin kjlsdjk changed PlaggDad’s name to “StopItNow”.]

[Admin kjlsdjk changed their name to “DragonBug”.]

DragonBug: seriously Plagg why did you do that?

StopItNow: he wasn’t looking 😼😈

HawkwardMop: @FeatherOrNot what did she delete?

FeatherOrNot: I wasn’t looking, sir.

SomeOldMan: Plagg, what did you do?

DragonBug: it something that would have told Chat who my civilian self was, Master. It wasn’t something the others would pick up on though.

WhichWayzz: Still a risk he shouldn’t have taken.

FelinePurrfect: wait what did I miss

FelinePurrfect: plagg put it back!

StopItNow: 😼

StopItNow: I purposely did it when you weren’t near your phone. you snooze you lose Kitten.

HawkwardMop: Who changed my name?

StopItNow: nobody

HawkwardMop: Change it to something else now, or else.

StopItNow: or else you’ll send out another akuma in the middle of the night?

HawkwardMop: Yes.

WhichWayzz: Please don’t tell me this is how it always is

SugarCube: You'll get used to it.

3:08 AM

HawkwardMop: Akuma in the Seine.

HawkwardMop: Have fun finding it.

SomeOldMan: Become a guardian, they said. It would be fun, they said.

Chapter Text

5:08 PM

DragonBug: Operation Make Rena Flustered With a CaraRouge Fic was a success.

FelinePurrfect: hehehe 😸

FelinePurrfect: how did she react?

DragonBug: just asked her to edit my super hero fic, she got excited because I’ve never shown interest before, then she just started blushing

DragonBug: then I asked Carapace to look at it too, and at first she tried to stop him, but he still read it and they were both just sitting there all embarrassed while reading it and trying to give me feedback without stuttering

FelinePurrfect: give me the link

DragonBug: no can do, that account is known by my civilian friends

DragonBug: I do want to write more fics though, maybe I’ll send one to you

FelinePurrfect: A LadyNoir one?

DragonBug: in your dreams

StopItNow: so true

FelinePurrfect: Plagg, take a look at your nickname and go do what it says.

[Admin StopItNow changed their name “GoEatCamembert”.]

GoEatCamembert: if you insist, Kitten

FelinePurrfect: NO!

FelinePurrfect: My Lady, do something!

DragonBug: anyways I think I’m going to write a SnekMouse story

HawkwardMop: what ship is this and why havent i heard about it tell me everything now i love it already

HawkwardMop: That wasn’t me!

HawkwardMop: Duusu just burst out of her Miraculous from out of nowhere and stole my phone!

MyWingsAren’tDark: plz i need more about this ship how cute are they how many times have they kissed give me all the details plz

HawkwardMop: Get off of my tablet and off of Nooroo’s account!

MyWingsAren’tDark: what makes you say im not nooroo butterflies can ship things too you know

HawkwardMop: I can literally see you typing right now, and Nooroo is asleep at my desk.

MyWingsAren’tDark: ...

MyWingsAren’tDark: hawkmoth is a smelly mean man but loves mayura hawkyura forever

HawkwardMop: I still see you, Duusu.

FelinePurrfect: What is SnekMouse shipping anyways?

FeatherOrNot: Clearly the Snake Miraculous and the Mouse Miraculous holder, in a romantic pair.

FelinePurrfect: Oh! Multimouse and Viperion! They’re cute, I totally ship it.

DragonBug: no, it’s Multimouse and Aspik.

FelinePurrfect: wait what?

DragonBug: I’m not going to lie.

DragonBug: They’re my OTP.

FelinePurrfect: WAIT WHAT

DragonBug: They should totally run off into the sunset together...

DragonBug: what’s up with you anyways what do you have against my ship?

FelinePurrfect: I

FelinePurrfect: I thought you had a crush on Multimouse?

DragonBug: WHAT

FelinePurrfect: well you called her cute when Evillustrator was running around, you trusted her with multiple Miraculouses, and you seem determined to keep her out of harm's way now.

FelinePurrfect: don’t even get me started on how she was looking at you after we dealt with Kwami Buster.

DragonBug: nope. I’m not doing this.

FelinePurrfect: #BugMouseShipping

DragonBug: NO

DragonBug: SnekMouse only!

ImBluu: tell me more about this amazing sounding snekmouse ship 🐍🐭🚢

DragonBug: Aspik was the first holder of the Snake Miraculous and he was amazing and I pushed him too far and so the Snake went to someone else. Maybe I should get him another Miraculous.

FelinePurrfect: how about no?

DragonBug: You didn’t see him, Kitty, he was so amazing and brave... ❤

[Save screenshot?]

[Screenshot saved.]

ImBluu: yes I love him already and what about multimouse

DragonBug: She got us out of a tight pickle but she revealed her identity to Chat so she can’t come back

FelinePurrfect: which is totally unfair and I’m going to protest this until the end of time

FelinePurrfect: #GiveMultimouseHerMiraculousBack #SheIsAmazing #IKnowOtherHolder’sIdenitiiesWhyCan’tIKnowHers

DragonBug: for the final time Chat, it’s not because you know, it’s because she let you know. We can’t risk that happening again with someone like Hawk Moth.

FelinePurrfect: #ryuko #YouHaveNoExcuses #BringMyPrincessBack

DragonBug: stop talking in hashtags

ImBluu: princess?

ImBluu: omk

ImBluu: chatmouseshipping

DragonBug: NO!

DragonBug: SNEKMOUSE

FelinePurrfect: ...BugMouse.

DragonBug: Tikki, help!

SugarCube: You have no idea how entertaining this is.

SomeOldMan: Very entertaining, actually.

DragonBug: Not you too, Master!

Chapter Text

6:58 PM

HawkwardMop: What does TBT stand for? Technical Basics Teacher?

HawkwardMop: Toothbrush Tapestry?

HawkwardMop: Terrible Basket Tilapia?

DragonBug: Why? Just why?

HawkwardMop: No, that would be WJW. I want to know what TBT stands for.

FelinePurrfect: ever heard of google?

HawkwardMop: Ever heard of being polite and answering people’s questions?

DragonBug: We’ll answer yours if you answer ours– what’s your full name?

FeatherOrNot: TBT stands for ‘Throwback Thursday’, used for sharing old photos or interests to remember ‘the good old days’.

HawkwardMop: Hmm. Not a bad idea, I suppose.

HawkwardMop: TBT to...

HawkwardMop: um...

HawkwardMop: Give me a minute.

FelinePurrfect: TBT to the day I met my beautiful lady.

DragonBug: TBT to when I met my dork of a partner.

FelinePurrfect: My Lady!!

DragonBug: my favorite dork. And second favorite kitty.

FelinePurrfect: ❤

FelinePurrfect: wait. second favorite?

FelinePurrfect: what other cats are in your life?????

DragonBug: Plagg, of course.

GoEatCamembert: aww, you’re too sweet Pigtails.

GoEatCamembert: @SugarCube wanna swap holders for a bit?

SugarCube: Of course! Ladybug has so many macarons that maybe she’ll get you to eat some!

GoEatCamembert: NEVER!!

GoEatCamembert: as soon as you eat some of my cheese.

SugarCube: Keep dreaming.

DragonBug: what do you mean by “never” plagg? you ate some macaron when me and chat swapped miraculouses

SugarCube: !!!!

SugarCube: You got him to eat something sweet????

DragonBug: yeah?

GoEatCamembert: NO!

GoEatCamembert: NO I DIDNT!

SugarCube: omk you ate a macaroon! ❤

SugarCube: Wasn’t it amazing?

GoEatCamembert: NO!

FelinePurrfect: Why is this a big deal? You ate the camembert I offered you, Tikki.

SugarCube: ...

GoEatCamembert: YOU GAVE HER MY CHEESE?!?!?!

SugarCube: Whatever– you ate sweets, and I bet you enjoyed it!

GoEatCamembert: YOU IDIOT KITTEN HOW COULD YOU WASTE PRECIOUS CHEESE ON HER SHE WOULDNT SAVOR IT I WOULD HAVE EATEN IT MY CAMEMBERT DESERVED BETTER THAN TO BE EATEN BY HER!

FelinePurrfect: I had nothing else on me to give her?

GoEatCamembert: oooh, so when it’s Tikki you have nothing else, but when it’s me it’s “here Plagg try some Cheddar today, it smells better. I don’t have Camembert right now, but here is some subpar Swiss.”

GoEatCamembert: you owe me five wheels of Camembert!

FelinePurrfect: she only ate one wedge!

GoEatCamembert: that I would have eaten!

SugarCube: I’m never going to let go of the fact that you ate a macaron.

GoEatCamembert: what’s the big deal about it?!?! I ate some during dark owl and you didn’t make a fuss then!!!

SugarCube: You ate a macaron~

GoEatCamembert: I want a new sister.

9:02 PM

HawkwardMop: I got one!

HawkwardMop: TBT to when I sent an akuma after my son because I thought he might be Chat Noir.

HawkwardMop: Those were the good old days.

WhichWayzz: what is wrong with you?

Chapter Text

6:03 AM

WhichWayzz: I cannot find the feature to change one’s nickname, how do we do so?

7:31 AM

GoEatCamembert: you must be an admin, like me. I only let responsible beings be admin though.

WhichWayzz: You do not think I am responsible?

GoEatCamembert: well....

GoEatCamembert: you are, but you’re too responsible.

WhichWayzz: What does that even mean?

GoEatCamembert: it means you and the guardian are boring

WhichWayzz: ...

GoEatCamembert: if you want your name changed you just have to ask me or Pigtails

WhichWayzz: Would you please?

GoEatCamembert: sure thing 😼

[Admin GoEatCamembert’s changed WhichWayzz’s name to “WrongWayzz”.]

WrongWayzz: ...

WrongWayzz: Plagg, no.

GoEatCamembert: Plagg yes

7:32 PM

HawkwardMop: How do you set up two teenagers?

FelinePurrfect: Oblivio but you let us remember the kiss

HawkwardMop: You don’t understand I need to set up my son with this girl.

FeatherOrNot: wait

FeatherOrNot: What?

MyWingsAren’tDark: You want to do what?

HawkwardMop: She’s a good influence on him unlike the other people he attempts to befriend, and she has a natural talent

HawkwardMop: ...for a skill I admire.

HawkwardMop: She’s going to be my heir, then the family business can stay in the family.

HawkwardMop: Hence why I need to set up my son with the girl.

FelinePurrfect: what’s the family business– evil scheming?

HawkwardMop: My job is very refined, thank you very much. Better than whatever you do, deliver pizzas or something?

FelinePurrfect: pizza delivery people are awesome.

FelinePurrfect: they bring me pizza

DragonBug: You literally want to set up your son with someone because of money? Why am I not surprised?

HawkwardMop: It’s not just about money, insect, it’s about how you present yourself! My son ending up with a proper young lady is of the most importance, especially keeping a good bloodline in the family.

SomeOldMan: I feel bad for whoever’s father in-law you end up being.

HawkwardMop: @FeatherOrNot They’re being unhelpful. How do I get my son to stop being blind and see what’s in front of him.

FeatherOrNot: Not much I’m afraid, it seems to run in your family.

HawkwardMop: What is that supposed to mean?

DragonBug: how is this conversation even going to go over with those poor kids?

DragonBug: “I want you two to carry on my legacy, here are the Peacock and Butterfly Miraculouses, terrorize the city in my name.”

HawkwardMop: wait that’s brilliant

HawkwardMop: Imagine what she could do with the Peacock Miraculous, she’d make the most beautiful senti-monsters. And I think my son could work with the Butterfly, he’s always been oversensitive. After I’m done being Hawk Moth we’re giving our Miraculouses to them!

GoEatCamembert: you should give them the Miraculouses right now. it would be hilarious.

Chapter Text

DMs with Ladybug

Ladybug and Chat Noir

6:00 AM

Chat Noir: Good mewning, My Lady!

6:00 AM

Chat Noir: Good mewning, My Lady!

6:00 AM

Chat Noir: Good mewning, My Lady!

6:00 AM

Chat Noir: Good mewning, My Lady!

Ladybug and Plagg

6:03 PM

Ladybug: Does he have an alarm set or something to send these messages?

Plagg: yep

Plagg: yet he doesn’t have an alarm to give me my Cheese.

Plagg: it’s a crime if you ask me.

Ladybug: there will be a cheddar danish on my balcony tonight for you

Plagg: you’re an angel, Pigtails!

Ladybug and Chat Noir

4:21 PM

Chat Noir: roses are red, violets are blue

Chat Noir: if there was someone I wanted to kiss, it would definitely be you! 💕

5:06 PM

Ladybug: scarlet moth is red, mayura is blue

Ladybug: if I had to go out with a superhero it would definitely be...

Chat Noir: omk

Ladybug: aspik.

Ladybug and Plagg

5:07 PM

Plagg: Pigtails, what did you do to my Kitten to make him start screaming into his pillow?

Ladybug and Hawk Moth

4:37 AM

Hawk Moth: @Ladybug

Hawk Moth: @Ladybug

Hawk Moth: Reply already you annoying insect!

11:25 AM

Ladybug: first of all, I was sleeping

Ladybug: second of all I have no reason to reply to you

Ladybug: third of all, what in the guardian’s name do you want?????

[Hawk Moth sent over 5 images.]

Hawk Moth: Which of these designs would be best for my next akuma?

Hawk Moth: also if you tell anyone about me asking for your advice you’re dead.

[Save screenshot?]

[Screenshot saved.]

Ladybug: the fourth one is the strongest design-wise, but the pallet is horrible

Ladybug: use the colors from your second one, but drop the orange and replace it with that navy blue from the first one.

Hawk Moth: Thank you, you’re a lifesaver.

Hawk Moth: no telling anyone about this either

[Save screenshot?]

[Screenshot saved.]

Ladybug and Chat Noir

11:38 AM

[Ladybug sent over 2 screenshots.]

Ladybug: hawkity mothity is struggling with design once more

Chat Noir: lol

Ladybug and Tikki

9:45 AM

Tikki: Marinette, I’m bored.

Ladybug: Tikki I’m in the middle of class!

Tikki: That doesn’t make sitting in a purse all day less boring.

Ladybug: for what it’s worth I’m bored too

Tikki: Poor you, getting to have a social life and interact with your friends at school and learn about the world.

Ladybug: Tikki I’m not supposed to be on my phone in class, stop messaging me!

Tikki: So many of my past Ladybugs would have given anything for the opportunity of such an education like what you have.

Tikki: my entire existence has been spent hiding, only interacting with my chosen and my fellow kwamis

Tikki: eternal life in isolation, Marinette, do you know what it’s like?

Ladybug: is this because I didn’t have time to grab macarons this morning?

Tikki: ....

Tikki: I need my sugar Mari. A slice of bread doesn’t cut it.

Ladybug: there were no macarons done and I was in a hurry!

Tikki: The dry crumbs of this sugarless gluten is not a replacement for the sweetness I require. Even Hawk Moth gets me better food than this, Mari– HAWK MOTH!

Ladybug and Chat Noir

9:52 AM

Ladybug: I will never doubt you about how obsessed and annoying Plagg is when he wants cheese again.

Ladybug: guardian help the soul of whoever withholds their kwami’s favorite food

Chat Noir: welcome to my world, My Lady.

Ladybug and Mayura

4:44 PM

Mayura: Word of warning, don’t join the main chat.

Mayura: they’re having another pun off.

Ladybug: Great.

Ladybug: I’ll just be hanging out here for a while then.

Mayura: ...

Ladybug: ...

Mayura: Did you see that TV interview with Gabriel and Adrien Agreste?

Ladybug: It was amazing, wasn’t it?

Mayura: Gabriel’s smile is the most beautiful thing on earth.

Ladybug: he smiled in the interview?!?

Mayura: well...

Mayura: no.

Mayura: but it’s still the most beautiful thing on earth.

Ladybug: I don’t agree, but Adrien’s smile is amazing.

Ladybug and Chat Noir

6:00 AM

Chat Noir: Good mewning, My Lady!

10:46 PM

Ladybug: Goodnight, Chat

Chat Noir: Goodnight!!

Ladybug and Jade Turtle

7:15 PM

Ladybug: Master, I have no idea what to do.

Ladybug: It’s getting harder to balance my civilian and hero life

Ladybug: the work I do as Ladybug is important, but my mental health is taking the toll and if I’m not doing well as a civilian I know it’s going to affect how I do as Ladybug.

Ladybug: what should I do???

Jade Turtle: Look inside your heart, Marinette.

Jade Turtle: Listen to the guidance that comes to you, go down the path that you know deep down is best.

Jade Turtle: the answers you seek will be at the end of this road.

Ladybug: ...

Ladybug: that just means you have no idea what I should do, right?

Jade Turtle: Yep! 

Jade Turtle: Honestly, I’m just guessing with half the things I do.

Ladybug and Chat Noir

8:29 PM

Chat Noir: oh no

Ladybug: what?

Chat Noir: ...you remember that one time?

Ladybug: what time?

Chat Noir: well, um, apparently they caught it on video.

Ladybug: caught what on video????

Ladybug: chat???

Chat Noir: here, just watch it for yourself

Chat Noir: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

Ladybug: ...

Ladybug: you are so dead next patrol.

Chat Noir: 😼

Ladybug: you are so immature!

Ladybug: honestly, who does that nowadays????

Chat Noir: 😼

Ladybug and Hawk Moth

8:34 PM

Ladybug: you look like an idiot in this video

Ladybug: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

Hawk Moth: ???

Ladybug: heh

Hawk Moth: ???????

Chapter Text

12:03 AM

HawkwardMop: LADYBUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HawkwardMop: @DragonBug you are so dead!!!!

HawkwardMop: What part of “do not tell anyone” do you not understand?!?!?

HawkwardMop: THE LADYBLOG IS THE OPPOSITE OF NOT TELLING ANYONE!

DragonBug: what makes you think I sent that?

DragonBug: clearly it says it was submitted anonymously, so it wasn’t me

HawkwardMop: YOU CAN SUBMIT THINGS ANONYMOUSLY TOO

DragonBug: you don’t know it was me

HawkwardMop: IT WAS A PRIVATE MESSAGE BETWEEN THE TWO OF US

DragonBug: so it could have been you then

FelinePurrfect: very true, how do we know that you didn’t submit it to the ladyblog?

HawkwardMop: Why on earth would I submit that to the Ladyblog when I didn’t want anyone to know about it?

FeatherOrNot: Maybe you set it up that way so you could put the blame on Ladybug?

HawkwardMop: Aren’t you supposed to be on my side?

FeatherOrNot: I’m just naming all the possibilities, sir.

HawkwardMop: On what planet would I purposely embarrass myself on the internet?

FelinePurrfect: clearly on this one.

HawkwardMop: I DIDN’T SEND IT IN!

FeatherOrNot: Or maybe you did.

HawkwardMop: You are being useless right now, Mayura!

FeatherOrNot: ...

FeatherOrNot: Did you just call me useless?

FelinePurrfect: someone’s in trouble~

HawkwardMop: Well you most certainly are right at this moment!

FeatherOrNot: Fine then.

FeatherOrNot: If I’m so useless let’s see how you do without my help this week.

HawkwardMop: Now, my dear Mayura, let’s not be hasty.

FeatherOrNot: Don’t you dare “dear Mayura” me.

FelinePurrfect: someone is in the doghouse tonight!

DragonBug: I didn’t know I needed this until now

DragonBug: someone grab some popcorn.

FeatherOrNot: I will be making use of my vacation time I have been saving up. Have fun without me, M Papillon.

HawkwardMop: Oh, get over yourself.

FeatherOrNot: Maybe take that advice for yourself, sir.

5:32 AM

FelinePurrfect: omk my schedule is clear for the week

FelinePurrfect: best day ever

6:01 AM

HawkwardMop: @FeatherOrNot Why is my schedule empty?

FeatherOrNot: You’re in charge of your own schedule this week, I’m on a break.

HawkwardMop: There were things scheduled for this week yesterday!

FeatherOrNot: Well, I’m sure you can handle figuring out everything for yourself, sir. I’m useless after all, so you don’t want the schedule I organized.

HawkwardMop: Oh stop being so petty Mayura and fix my schedule.

FeatherOrNot: Sorry, I’m on paid leave at the moment, so it isn’t my problem.

HawkwardMop: Mayura!!

6:48 AM

HawkwardMop: She blocked me.

7:39 PM

HawkwardMop: Mayura please

HawkwardMop: come back

HawkwardMop: I have no idea what I’m doing!

HawkwardMop: @FeatherOrNot

ImBluu: mayura is busy please leave a message after the beep and well get right back to you

FelinePurrfect: this is the most entertaining thing ever

6:09 AM

HawkwardMop: @FeatherOrNot I need a sentimonster for my next akuma.

ImBluu: mayura is busy please leave a message after the beep and well get right back to you

HawkwardMop: she’s on paid leave for work, but terrorizing the city is different!

ImBluu: mayura is busy please leave a message after the beep and well get right back to you

8:09 AM

HawkwardMop: The akuma failed. I hope you’re happy.

DragonBug: It helped that you posted about it beforehand in the main chat.

HawkwardMop: I wouldn’t have if someone would unblock me!

HawkwardMop: @FeatherOrNot

ImBluu: mayura is busy please leave a message after the beep and well get right back to you

HawkwardMop: Duusu shut up.

4:45 PM

HawkwardMop: Mayura

HawkwardMop: please

HawkwardMop: I need you

HawkwardMop: everything’s falling apart at work and home

HawkwardMop: my son keeps running off with his friends saying he has the free time

HawkwardMop: I’ve missed seven important meetings

HawkwardMop: come back please

ImBluu: mayura is busy please leave a message after the beep and well get right back to you

HawkwardMop: kljdsfijjlsfd

7:10 PM

HawkwardMop: I’m sorry I called you useless.

HawkwardMop: You’re not useless, Mayura, you’re the most important person in my life.

HawkwardMop: My life would be a mess without you, and it is with you gone.

HawkwardMop: I hope you can forgive me.

FeatherOrNot: Apology accepted.

HawkwardMop: MAYURA!!

HawkwardMop: You’re back!

HawkwardMop: I’ve missed you.

FeatherOrNot: I missed you too.

FelinePurrfect: @ImBluu it’s our ship

ImBluu: its beautiful

HawkwardMop: Does this mean you’re coming back now?

FeatherOrNot: I still have two days left of my vacation. I’ll see you Monday, sir.

HawkwardMop: Mayura I can’t wait that long!!

HawkwardMop: Mayura!

ImBluu: mayura is busy please leave a message after the beep and well get right back to you

Chapter Text

12:03 PM

WrongWayzz: Ladybug, would you please change my nickname?

HawkwardMop: Change mine too.

HawkwardMop: @DragonBug Change mine to Night’s Wings.

DragonBug: maybe I don’t want to change anyone’s nicknames.

DragonBug: maybe there’s other priorities in my life besides watching over this chat

WrongWayzz: Sorry Ladybug, I didn’t mean to be a bother.

DragonBug: you’re fine

HawkwardMop: Wait what do you mean other priorities?

HawkwardMop: I’m your arch-nemesis! I should be at the top of your list of concerns!

DragonBug: more like my arch-annoyance if anything

FelinePurrfect: lol

HawkwardMop: I refuse to be disrespected like this!

HawkwardMop: I am your enemy! I should be striking fear into your hearts!

HawkwardMop: Have our battles meant nothing to you???

DragonBug: you mean our very-rare-occasional fights when you’re not cowardly enough to hide behind an akuma and actually bother to face us for yourself?

HawkwardMop: says the ones that hides their identities in fear of what I could do if I knew them

FelinePurrfect: nah

FelinePurrfect: we just don’t tell anyone so we can get some peace out of the mask

FelinePurrfect: we would be hounded by fans without secret identities.

HawkwardMop: I COULD TAKE YOUR LOVE ONES FROM UNDER YOUR NOSE IF I KNEW!

FelinePurrfect: bold of you to assume I have any loved ones.

DragonBug: Kitty?

DragonBug: Are you okay?

FelinePurrfect: I’m good as long as I’m by your side, m’lady. ❤

[Admin DragonBug changed FelinePurrfect’s name to “HisLady’sKitty”.]

HisLady’sKitty: My Lady! ❤

DragonBug: ❤

HawkwardMop: Hey why does he get a new nickname!

[Admin DragonBug changed HawkwardMop’s name to “Mothman”.]

Mothman: No.

Mothman: I refuse.

Mothman: Change my name to something else, Ladybug.

DragonBug: You know what I say to that, hawk moth?

[Admin DragonBug changed WrongWayzz’s name to “NoWayzz”.]

NoWayzz: Ladybug please.

Mothman: Change my name now or else you will regret it!

[Admin DragonBug changed their name to “BugOut!”.]

HisLady’sKitty: you heard the Lady.

Mothman: just you wait...

2:48 AM

Mothman: Akuma on the loose.

Mothman: Have fun.

2:53 AM

BugOut!: @HisLady’sKitty looks like we have work to do

3:34 AM

BugOut!: where is this stupid akuma??

3:50 AM

BugOut!: is this the vanisher again?

BugOut!: @Mothman

4:18 AM

HisLady'sKitty: nothing suspicious at the eiffiel tower

4:38 AM

BugOut!: I think I hear something in these warehouses, use the tracker and meet me here

4:42 AM

BugOut!: nm it was some stray cats

5:21 AM

HisLady'sKitty: seine looks normal

5:50 AM

BugOut!: meet me at the louvre

6:02 AM

HisLady’sKitty: is there even an akuma?????

Mothman: :)

BugOut!: enjoy your little hideout while you can, hawky

BugOut!: because next time I see you you're dead

Mothman: :)

Chapter Text

8:42 AM

[Admin GoEatCamembert changed HisLady’sKitty’s name to “Cat”.]

Cat: no

Cat: plagg noooooooooo

Cat: change it back

GoEatCamembert: your name was too much of a mouthful

Cat: your name is too much of a mouthful.

10:39 AM

BugOut!: yeah your nickname isn’t the best

BugOut!: let me fix that.

[Admin BugOut! Changed GoEatCamembert’s name to “AlsoACat”.]

AlsoACat: and this is better how?

Mothman: Change my name too!

BugOut!: no.

12:06 PM

MyWingsAren’tDark: Master.

MyWingsAren’tDark: @Mothman

MyWingsAren’tDark: @Mothman

MyWingsAren’tDark: @Mothman

MyWingsAren’tDark: @Mothman

Mothman: What?

MyWingsAren’tDark: I want wine.

Mothman: I already told you no.

MyWingsAren’tDark: I’m hungry.

Mothman: Wine isn’t food.

MyWingsAren’tDark: Master.

MyWingsAren’tDark: Give me my wine. Now.

Mothman: You drink too much and the butler probably thinks I’m an alcoholic now!

BugOut!: You have a butler?

Cat: huh, thought I was the only one.

BugOut!: you have a butler too???? what does mayura have one as well?

FeatherOrNot: I technically do not have one.

FeatherOrNot: But Hawk Moth’s listen to me on the job so...

BugOut!: why does everyone have a butler?

SomeOldMan: I don’t have a butler.

Cat: neither do the kwamis!

AlsoACat: um what do you think you humans are to us?

Cat: what?

AlsoACat: you get us Cheese when we ask for it, isn’t that what your butler does?

AlsoACat: speaking of Cheese I want some Camembert now

MyWingsAren’tDark: And I want my wine.

NoWayzz: I could go for some tea now that I think about it.

SugarCube: I want some macarons.

ImBluu: chocolate now please mayura it sounds so good

FeatherOrNot: I’m busy right now, Duusu.

ImBluu: but chocolate

SugarCube: You can’t spend two seconds to go and get your kwami some chocolate? Shame on you Mayura, Ladybug doesn’t hesitate to get me some food when I want some.

BugOut!: Tikki we’re out of macarons.

SugarCube: ...

SugarCube: what.

BugOut!: they’re not easy to make and we were kind of cleared out of them this morning.

SugarCube: Ladybug I need my macarons.

BugOut!: There’s some cookies on my desk. I'm busy right now.

SugarCube: But I want macarons.

AlsoACat: give her the macarons LB. and get me my Camembert, Kitten.

Cat: you know where we keep it.

NoWayzz: Ha. At least Master is getting me my tea.

SomeOldMan: Wayzz I have a client coming in soon you have to wait.

ImBluu: youre supposed to be our holders why would you do this to us

AlsoACat: I’m in the perfect patch of sun I’m not getting up just bring me the Cheese!

Cat: you’re fine just go get it yourself.

AlsoACat: that’s it I’m going on strike.

MyWingsAren’tDark: ooo, good idea!

Mothman: What? You can’t go on strike– you have to obey me!

MyWingsAren’tDark: I’ve followed your every order. You’ve kept me imprisoned for decades. I’ve allowed you to use my powers for evil and put my fellow kwamis at risk.

MyWingsAren’tDark: I don’t think a bottle of wine is too much to ask for– but apparently it is.

MyWingsAren’tDark: Consider me on strike until further notice.

Mothman: Oh, so forcing you to obey my every command is fine but me not giving you wine 24/7 is what pushes you over the edge?

[Admin AlsoACat changed the chat’s name to “KwamisOnStrike”.]

AlsoACat: strike! strike! strike!

ImBluu: strike strike strike

FeatherOrNot: Do you even know what that means?

ImBluu: well if it will make you give me my chocolate then im on board strike strike strike

SugarCube: Count me in too.

BugOut!: wait what

SugarCube: You withheld my macarons, Ladybug, so this is how it's got to be.

BugOut!: “withhold”??? We just don’t have any right now! I think you can survive one day!

SugarCube: Strike! Strike! Strike!

AlsoACat: strike! strike! strike!

ImBluu: strike strike strike

MyWingsAren’tDark: Strike! Strike!

NoWayzz: Strike!

BugOut!: You too??

SomeOldMan: Wayzz?

NoWayzz: I want my tea and a new nickname.

6:34 PM

BugOut!: new ladyblog article.

BugOut!: civilians are starting to notice that there’s been no akumas or patrols for the last two weeks now.

BugOut!: you’ve all gotten your favorite foods now, so can this please end guys?

SugarCube: We want a union and health insurance first.

BugOut!: ...

Chapter Text

2:32 PM

Mothman: Ah, Halloween, a time to both showcase style and to strike fear into the hearts of the masses– it is my one true calling in life.

Cat: assuming that people are scared of you.

BugOut!: Style? What sense of style?

Mothman: Shut up. Both of you.

Mothman: Anyways, like I was saying, I took a lot of time and effort, and designed an outfit for myself to resemble the most frightening of my akumas. One that surely gave people nightmares, and seeing how it was of my own design this is the perfect costume for Halloween.

Cat: refleka

Mothman: ...

Mothman: What?

Cat: you said an akuma that gave people nightmares– that’s refleka right?

BugOut!: yeah that design was pretty horrifying.

Mothman: No! You ignorant children!

BugOut!: Bubbler then? I mean what was up with his head?

Cat: I would say Mr. Pigeon too, but honestly I think we’ve become numb to him considering how many times we’ve seen him.

Mothman: I was talking about Simon Says! Sheesh!

Cat: ...You think Simon Says was your scariest akuma?

Mothman: I will never let a butterfly near him again.

BugOut!: Trust, me, he wasn’t your scariest.

BugOut!: You don’t even remember your scariest.

Mothman: What is that supposed to mean?

BugOut!: ...

Cat: My Lady?

Mothman: Well you guys don’t appreciate true fear. Anyways send your kwamis over sometime, I made costumes for all of them.

AlsoACat: Over my dead body.

Mothman: That’s the Halloween spirit!

BugOut!: I chose to dress up as something both fashionable and scary.

Mothman: Me!

BugOut!: No. Mayura.

Mothman: Mayura is not more fashionable than me!

BugOut!: Take a look at both of your transformations real closely, then get back to me.

BugOut!: What about you, Chat?

Cat: I’m going as my father!

FeatherOrNot: Why?

Cat: Isn’t the point of Halloween to dress up as something scary?

FeatherOrNot: Are you okay?

BugOut!: Kitty, just give me a name, and I’ll take care of everything.

AlsoACat: I’ve offered to Cataclysm him many times, but he always says no.

Cat: why are you guys freaking out? it’s nothing more than typical parental intimidation.

BugOut!: ...

BugOut!: I’m adopting you. And punching your father in the face.

BugOut!: hawk moth you’ve just been moved to number 2 on my hit list, chat’s dad is number one.

AlsoACat: Count me in too.

MyWingsAren’tDark: I’d love to take down Chat Noir’s father

Mothman: I’ll help!

BugOut!: ...Why?

Cat: Can we not plan an attack on my father?

Mothman: Too late.

AlsoACat: Yes. Join us in our mission Hawk Moth.

SugarCube: Plagg.

Chapter Text

7:14 PM

Mothman: @BugOut! How dare you.

BugOut!: ???

Mothman: You know what you did.

BugOut!: no I don’t...?

Mothman: Well if this is how it's going to be then I’m not going to send out anymore akumas.

Cat: cool, that’s exactly what we want.

Mothman: Oh! So it all means nothing to you two? I see how it is!

Mothman: Might as well add him to the chat and remove me, that’s what you want, isn’t it?

BugOut!: Okay, seriously, what is this about?

MyWingsAren’tDark: he’s upset about the bank robbery you guys help stopped.

Cat: ...why?

Mothman: Why?

Mothman: Why?

Mothman: I’m your nemesis!

Mothman: Not some pathetic bank robber!

Mothman: Yet you have the audacity to go and fight like he’s worth your time and power?

Mothman: As if he’s as much a threat as me and my akumas?

Mothman: You have no right to go and make new enemies that aren’t akumas that I’ve sent to fight you!

BugOut!: really? that’s what this is about?

BugOut!: our job is to protect this city, get over yourself

Mothman: You’re supposed to protect this city from me!

Mothman: I will not stand for this insult!

Mothman: You two are no longer me and Mayura’s arch enemies.

Cat: cool.

Mothman: So all the battles we’ve had really meant nothing to you two? I’ve wasted years with you two as my nemesis only to find out you’re willing to toss it aside like it’s nothing?

Mothman: I’m going to find a new enemy. You two are nothing to me.

BugOut!: have fun.

11:38 PM

BugOut!: @Cat let’s go, Chat, looks like we have an akuma alert

Mothman: Don’t bother. It’s not for you.

Cat: why is this akuma going after a random person’s necklace.

Mothman: your jewelry isn’t special. that’s my new nemesis.

BugOut!: I don’t think she wants to be your nemesis.

Mothman: yes she does, see– she just punched my akuma. She’s already putting more into this relationship than either of you ever did.

Mothman: you know what, this is the first time I’ve every truly been happy in a fight

Mothman: I’m starting to realize that when I was facing you two I was the only one putting any dedication to making us grow as enemies. I always made the first attack, I’m the one always trying to seek you out– you may have showed up but as soon as the akuma was defeated you two were gone.

Mothman: I can’t have a rivalry if I’m the only one putting in any effort.

Mothman: With you two it was just give and take, and I got nothing in return. No dramatic demands to come and face you for a final showdown, no threats swearing that you’ll hunt me down if it’s the last thing you do– you two neglected me.

11:56 PM

Mothman: Stop chasing after my akuma you two look pathetic– I’ve moved on. Bella is my new nemesis.

Mothman: It’s only now that I’m seeing how desperate you were.

12:07 PM

Mothman: Kidnapping my new nemesis isn’t going to make us enemies again!

BugOut!: we’re not kidnapping her we’re getting her to safety!

Mothman: I never got anyone else involved when we were still enemies, but here you are butting in like you have a right.

Cat: @FeatherOrNot please help us!

FeatherOrNot: He said he wants an apology.

Mothman: No I do not!

Mothman: I’m not just going to take them back if they come crawling begging for another battle!

Mothman: I’ve moved on! I’m happy now!

BugOut!: why is the akuma running away?

Mothman: Because you’re not worth our time!

BugOut!: seriously I have a test to study for tomorrow I don’t want to be chasing this thing all night

Mothman: Then go study! 

Mothman: This fight isn’t yours!

Cat: huh

Cat: I guess he really is upset, if he isn’t taking the opportunity to drag this out as long as possible.

Mothman: The only people’s time I’ll be wasting are those that appreciate it, thank you very much.

Cat: Come on, Hawky, it wasn’t like we were replacing you

Mothman: You just can jump from criminal to criminal however you want. You can either fight me and no one else– or you can go make a new mortal enemy.

BugOut!: this is stupid

Cat: He has a point, you know– dedication and communication are important parts of any relationship. Even enemies.

BugOut!: really Chat?

Cat: I’ll make it up to you, Hawky– me and you, tonight on the Arc de Triomphe, we’ll fight. No akumas, no power ups, no girls that don’t appreciate our puns– just a duel of wits!

Mothman: A pun off?

Cat: what else?

Mothman: I will be there.

FeatherOrNot: Really?

BugOut!: really?

Mothman: I cannot turn down a challenge from my archenemy in both punning and of the Miraculous! I will be there, and I will crush you, feline.

Cat: can I bring Alya to film it and be the judge?

Mothman: Yes but only if I can bring someone to judge as well so it’s fair. Mayura?

FeatherOrNot: No.

Mothman: ...My son?

FeatherOrNot: You’re not traumatizing him even more by telling him you’re a super villain.

Mothman: But you two are like the only two people I interact with, who else am I supposed to bring?

FeatherOrNot: bold of you to assume you interact with your son

Mothman: Oh, who do you want me to bring? My wife? Yes, I’ll just bring her coffin up from the basement, that’s perfectly normal.

Cat: why is your wife’s coffin in the basement?

SomeOldMan: that’s creepy on so many levels

Mothman: Oh so when the dwarves keep Snow White in a glass coffin and go and visit her it's “sweet” and “heartwarming” but when I do it with my wife it's “creepy” and “you're obsessed” and “get therapy”.

FeatherOrNot: Please get some therapy. For both you and your son.

BugOut!: are you going to call off this akuma or not? It’s still trying to go after Bella’s necklace.

Chapter Text

Jade Turtle’s DMs

Jade Turtle and Ladybug

7:23 AM

Ladybug: Master I need your help!!

Jade Turtle: Is something wrong? What happened? Did someone discover your identity??

Ladybug: I think Adrien’s dad is trying to set me up with Adrien!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jade Turtle: How am I supposed to help?

Jade Turtle: I mean, great news, you two are made for each other

Jade Turtle: but you said you needed help?

Ladybug: Well I think I might be reading too far into things???

Jade Turtle: Okay then. Why do you think he’s trying to set you two up?

Ladybug: well I was hanging out at Adrien’s house, which in itself is amazing fact because not even Nino is allowed there

Ladybug: then Gabriel Agreste pulls me aside and says he wants to talk with me

Ladybug: and Adrien as amazing as ever tries to stay in the room but Gabriel sends him away

Ladybug: then Gabriel tells me he loved my hat design and then asks if what I’m wearing is my designs and I told him yes and he said he was impressed

Jade Turtle: Very high praise.

Ladybug: and then he says he fully approves of a relationship with his son and if I ask Adrien out and he’ll even clear his schedule for it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jade Turtle: ?

Ladybug: what do you mean “?”? this is an emergency!

Jade Turtle: I thought you said you were worried that you were reading too much into what he said?

Ladybug: I am!!!!

Jade Turtle: ...

Jade Turtle: But he literally said that he approved of a relationship between the two of you?

Jade Turtle: And he would make sure Adrien could go on dates with you?

Ladybug: yeah but what if I’m reading too far into this?????

Jade Turtle: ...I don’t think you are.

Ladybug: lkjafslkjfsjlk

Ladybug: it doesn’t matter what Gabriel is saying though

Ladybug: like if he does approve then awesome

Ladybug: but if Adren goes out with me I want it to be because he wants to go out with me and not because his dad said so

Jade Turtle: A very good frame of mind to have.

Ladybug: well I’m going to ask Adrien to hang out a lot from here on out because if his dad is going to give him wiggle room because of me I’m going to make sure to use that so Adrien can hang out with all of our friends.

Ladybug: except lila I hate her

Jade Turtle: Now remember, Marinette, as Ladybug it’s important to care for and protect everyone.

Jade Turtle: Doesn’t mean you have to like them though. :)

Jade Turtle and Chat Noir’s DMs

9:01 AM

Chat Noir: Master I need your help.

Jade Turtle: I’m busy.

6:42 PM

Chat Noir: Master??

Jade Turtle: I’m busy right now.

3:27 PM

Chat Noir: are you busy today?

Jade Turtle: Afraid so.

Chat Noir: can you message me when you aren’t?

Jade Turtle: Sure.

Jade Turtle and Hawk Moth

6:02 AM

Hawk Moth: Give me their Miraculouses.

Jade Turtle: No.

Hawk Moth: Tell me their identities!

Jade Turtle: No.

Jade Turtle and Mayura

6:10 AM

Mayura: Get someone else besides kids to do your work.

Jade Turtle: ...

Jade Turtle: No.

Jade Turtle and Chat Noir

6:56 PM

Chat Noir: ...Master?

Chat Noir: it’s been over a week?

Chat Noir: Ladybug mentioned you were able to talk to her this morning...?

Chat Noir: and Wayzz says you’re not doing anything right now...?

7:34 PM

Jade Turtle: What is it?

Chat Noir: We need to convince Ladybug to let Multimouse back onto the team.

Jade Turtle: Hmm.

Chat Noir: she was amazing and use used so many miraculouses even my own and she was just so brave and showed no hesitation and I know she’d be a perfect fit for the team ladybug just needs to give her another chance and her revealing her identity to me wasn’t like kagami just being reckless she just thought I knew and speaking of kagami we let kagami and chloe use their miraculouses again even when hawk moth knew so why not marinette even if I happen to know?

Jade Turtle: Well, it’s a great risk.

Chat Noir: I know Pegasus’ identity and no one cares.

Chat Noir: also know Viperion’s but Ladybug doesn’t know that...

Jade Turtle: Hmm.

Jade Turtle: Very well. Tell Ladybug that Multimouse can come back.

Chat Noir: Really??

Jade Turtle: In fact, she can join you next patrol for practice. Let Ladybug know, will you?

Chat Noir: I will! Thank you Master! This is going to be amazing!

Jade Turtle and Ladybug

7:47 PM

Ladybug: MASTER?!?!?!

Jade Turtle: Yes?

Ladybug: why is chat noir saying he got permission from you to bring multimouse on patrol????

Jade Turtle: Because he did.

Ladybug: You know Multimouse is me, right??????

Jade Turtle: Yes.

Ladybug: So how am I supposed to be both Marinette and Ladybug on patrol?

Jade Turtle: I’m sure you can be creative, you’re Ladybug after all.

Ladybug: ...you’re putting my identity at risk.

Jade Turtle: Hmm.

Ladybug: *sigh*

Ladybug: Can I borrow the fox miraculous at least?

Jade Turtle: Well you will have both the Ladybug and the Mouse, so giving you a third would be a risk.

Ladybug: ...Okay, just give me the fox then and I’ll just have illusions, no need for the mouse at all.

Jade Turtle: Nah.

Ladybug: ...

Ladybug: You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?

Jade Turtle: Perhaps.

Jade Turtle: Chat Noir will be dropping off the Mouse Miraculous tomorrow night. :) Good luck on patrol.

Jade Turtle and Wayzz

7:51 PM

Wayzz: Ladybug wants me to tell you a string of words I will not repeat. And also that Ladybug is “sick” so it will only be Multimouse showing up for this patrol.

Jade Turtle: Such a shame Ladybug’s sick. I hope she feels better soon.

Wayzz So, bet you five euros that this patrol one of them messes up?

Jade Turtle: Bold of you to assume that one of them will use the braincell.

Chapter Text

5:07 AM

Mothman: @BugOut!

5:30 AM

Mothman: @BugOut!

Cat: m’lady isn’t up this early

Mothman: I need to talk to her.

Cat: she probably won’t be on until later.

6:00 AM

Mothman: @BugOut!

Cat: still way too early

Mothman: Why are you up?

Cat: work?

Mothman: Pizza places are open this early??

Cat: ???

Mothman: Don’t you deliver pizzas?

Cat: no...?

Cat: where did that come from??

MyWingsAren’tDark: One time Master made the comment about you being a pizza delivery boy when you mentioned work. He must have committed that to mind.

Mothman: Where do you work then?

Cat: high end industry

Mothman: yeah and I’m a cashier

Cat: no you’re not

Mothman: That was sarcasm.

Cat: retail workers are hard workers that don’t get paid enough. they don’t deserve to be grouped with you

Mothman: More like they don’t deserve to be grouped with me!

MyWingsAren’tDark: Master has an inflated ego.

Mothman: @BugOut

Cat: *sigh*

Cat: if it’s before 10 she’s not going to answer

BugOut! Cookie!!!

Cat: m’lady?????

Mothman: That’s not Ladybug

Cat: oh and how would you know?

Mothman: Because of that horrid nickname.

MyWingsAren’tDark: Hi Tikki!!

MyWingsAren’tDark: 💡💡💡

BugOut!: 💡💡💡

Mothman: NO!

Mothman: Nooroo I forbid you!

MyWingsAren’tDark: 💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡 💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡

BugOut!: 💡💡💡

Mothman: There’s children in this chat!

Mothman: I’m out of here!

Mothman: let me know when the kwamis are gone

BugOut!: thank goodness he’s offline

BugOut! now he can stop blowing up my holder’s phone

BugOut!: anyways

BugOut!: 💡💡💡

Cat: um, could you do that on your own account, Tikki?

SugarCube: 💡💡💡

MyWingsAren’tDark: 💡💡💡

ImBluu: @AlsoACat 💡💡💡

AlsoACat: no.

7:30 AM

Mothman: @BugOut!

SugarCube: She’s still sleeping.

Mothman: And Paris calls their heroes responsible.

Cat: hey! I get up early

Mothman: I said responsible

Mothman: In other words, not you.

Cat: ...

Cat: Nooroo, Tikki, bring back the lightbulbs.

Mothman: No!

MyWingsAren’tDark: 💡💡💡

11:49 AM

BugOut!: @Mothman what in the kwamis sweet name do you want?

BugOut!: I wake up to like a dozen notifications from YOU

BugOut!: how to know your day is going to be a bad one

Mothman: Well excuse me.

Mothman: Anyways, I have two requests.

Mothman: First of all, change my nickname.

BugOut!: nah

Mothman: Second of all, I need to borrow the Fox Miraculous.

BugOut!: ...

BugOut!: you bothered me all morning for this?

BugOut!: we both know the answer is no!!

Mothman: I only need to borrow the Miraculous, I’ll give it back.

BugOut!: no

Mothman: It isn’t for evil, I just need some illusions.

BugOut!: No.

Mothman: Why do you have to make everything complicated?

BugOut!: well I need to borrow the butterfly hand it over

Mothman: Why would I do that?

BugOut!: why would I give you the fox???

Mothman: The Fox is not your Miraculous, or the one I’m after, so you can trust me with it. On the other hand you’re after the Butterfly, so I can’t trust you with it. Now give me the Fox Miraculous I’ve wasted a perfectly good morning waiting for you.

BugOut!: lol not happening

BugOut!: I’m going back to bed.

Mothman: It’s noon?

BugOut!: zzzz

12:15 PM

Cat: @BugOut!

Cat: volpina has been spotted, we need to go

Mothman: No, leave her alone!

Mothman: She’s not bothering anyone!

Cat: we don’t let akumas run about

Mothman: You can fight her later, I need her illusions right now

Cat: ...did you just akumatize Lila because we wouldn’t give you the fox?

Mothman: I needed illusions, and you wouldn’t help me out. Now you get an akuma to fight.

12:23 PM

Mothman: You can fight her later, leave Volpina alone!

Mothman: Stop!

12:31 PM

Mothman: No don’t follow her either!

Mothman: Stop!

Mothman: Stop!!!!!

Mothman: Both of you are very rude.

12:53 PM

Mothman: Unbelievable. A whole akuma wasted.

Cat: Pound it, M’lady!

BugOut!: 😄

FeatherOrNot: You know sir, we could have just made a sentimonster with illusion abilities right here at home.

Mothman: Why didn’t you mention that before?!?!?!?!

Cat: omk

Cat: Mayura and Hawky live together

Cat: PeaHawk shipping confirmed

Mothman: No we’re not!

Cat: not what?

Mothman: A “ship” or a “couple” or whatever you children say!

Cat: But you do live together?

Mothman: ...

Cat: 😄

Mothman: We live in the same household, nothing more.

BugOut!: and they were roommates

Cat: oh my kwami they were roommates

Chapter Text

9:59 AM

Mothman: Ha!

Mothman: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liphyra_brassolis 

Mothman: @MyWingsAren’tDark

Mothman: Hahaha!

Mothman: Behold the moth butterfly!

Cat: what?

Mothman: A butterfly, whose name is “moth butterfly”.

Mothman: In other words, a butterfly with the word moth in the name, meaning I am justified to have moth in my name, because there is a type of butterfly called moth!

MyWingsAren’tDark: Except for you call yourself “Hawk Moth”, which is a specific type of moth, in other words not the “moth butterfly” you are referring to.

Mothman: ...

Mothman: one second.

10:02 AM

Mothman: Here we go– hawk can mean a bird of prey, but it can also refer to someone with “who advocates an aggressive or warlike policy”, and as the one sending out akumas and attacks the city, I feel this applies to me.

AlsoACat: so?

Mothman: So that means no one can no longer say I use the name “Hawk Moth” because I’m afraid to call myself “Butterfly”. The hawk refers to my aggressive attacks, and the moth refers to the moth butterfly.

BugOut!: you do realize you have next to no logic in that, right?

Mothman: yes there is!

SugarCube: You still add “dark” to your transformation phrase to be edgy.

Mothman: Shut up you annoying kwami!

8:33 PM

BugOut!: Oh my kwami! xD xD

Cat: what’s going on, M’lady?

BugOut!: Rena wants me (civilian me) to edit her newest fic.

FeatherOrNot: A LadyNoir fic?

BugOut!: A RenaBug fic.

Cat: lkjslkfslkj

Cat: Okay, that’s hilarious.

BugOut!: You try reading a fic that has you romantically involved with your best friend! It’s weird! 

Cat: ...

BugOut!: Chat?

Cat: okay, so I might have read a few MultiNoir fics

BugOut!: what.

Cat: but I was just curious since the public doesn’t know much about Multimouse

Cat: but I didn’t think it was weird, I thought the fic made me and Multi cute together

BugOut!: what.

SugarCube: Was the fic by the same author that wrote the Aspik and Chat Noir coffeeshop AU?

Cat: Yes?

SugarCube: Yeah, that was my fic you read.

BugOut!: You wrote ChatXMultimouse???????????

Cat: You wrote AspikXChat Noir???

SugarCube: Yep! 

BugOut!: Traitor!

SugarCube: 😝

Cat: why would Tikki be a traitor for writing about me and Multimouse?

BugOut!: um

AlsoACat: Yeah, Pigtails, why would my dear sister be called a traitor for that?

BugOut!: ...no reason.

Cat: Wait.

BugOut!: NO!

Cat: omk

BugOut!: whatever you’re thinking you’re wrong!

Cat: Ha! I was right! I knew it!

BugOut!: NO!

Cat: You have a crush on Multimouse~

BugOut!: NO I DON’T!

SugarCube: hehehe

Cat: What? Either you’re jealous that your kwami was writing about me with your crush... or were you jealous that I was with someone else?

BugOut!: NO!

Cat: which one is it, m’lady~?

BugOut!: SHUT UP!

Cat: So you calling her cute that one time didn’t mean a thing then, hmm?

AlsoACat: She has as big of a crush on Multi as you do on Adrien Agreste, Kitten.

SugarCube: PLAGG!

Cat: I DON’T HAVE A CRUSH ON ADRIEN 

BugOut!: I DON’T HAVE A CRUSH ON MULTIMOUSE

Chapter Text

2:23 PM

BugOut!: @FeatherOrNot is this you?

[Admin BugOut! sent over one image.]

FeatherOrNot: Where did you get that?

BugOut!: It was taken and submitted to the LadyBlog

FeatherOrNot: Can’t a person get any privacy?

Cat: tis the famous life, I’m afraid

BugOut!: Mayura why are you at an akumatized victim support group??

BugOut!: people go there who struggle after being akumatized

BugOut!: in other words, you’re not helping anyone there, and could you please leave?

FeatherOrNot: First of all I have been akumatized

FeatherOrNot: Second of all I have to deal with Hawk Moth basically 24/7 and this support group is for those whose lives have become stressed thanks to Hawk Moth.

FeatherOrNot: In other words, I have every right to be here.

Cat: you’ve been akumatized?

FeatherOrNot: Where do you think Scarlet Moth came from? That was from my akumatized form, Catalyst.

BugOut!: that explains a lot

BugOut!: but that doesn’t change the fact that your presence is putting people on edge

FeatherOrNot: So you’re going to remove me from a support group that could help me?

BugOut!: ...

Cat: maybe people would be calm if one of us were there too?

BugOut!: I guess.

BugOut: I’ll be there in a second

2:57 PM

Mothman: Wait a second Mayura you’re what?!

Mothman: You said you needed a mental health day!!

FeatherOrNot: I do. That’s why I’m here.

ButOut!: Mayura deserves a pay raise, Hawk Moth.

Mothman: She’s paid well!

BugOut!: she raised your child for you.

Mothman: And?

FeatherOrNot: I would enjoy a pay raise, sir.

FeatherOrNot: Those at the support group pointed out that I’m not being paid for the super villain work I do for you.

FeatherOrNot: And considering that I put my life on the line for you doing so...

Mothman: I’ve given you so many pay raises this year!!

FeatherOrNot: Ladybug, Chat Noir, are you guys interested in knowing Hawk Moth’s address?

Mothman: But I suppose another one wouldn’t hurt.

Cat: lol

BugOut!: You go, Mayura! Your life doesn’t have to revolve around Hawk Moth– stand up for yourself!

Mothman: You annoying children are acting like she’s being forced to do this!

Mothman: I literally told her not to use the Peacock Miraculous!

Mothman: But no, she had to epicly come and save me on Heroes’ Day.

Mothman: I wish I had a picture of that.

3:10 PM

Mothman: What’s with this LadyBlog article?????

Mothman: “Unequal Pay Rates in all Fields– Even Super Villainy”

Cat: oh, there’s more out there

[Cat sent over four screenshots.]

Mothman: What am I reading???

Mothman: “Mayura– Another Victim of Hawk Moth”

Mothman: “Is Mayura a Villain or an Underpaid Minion?”

Mothman: “Is Mayura’s Redemption Arc Beginning?” – this isn’t a movie or a show!! This is real life!

Mothman: “Hawk Moth is Overworking and Underpaying Mayura, Gender Pay Gap Affecting All Work Places”

Mothman: @FeatherOrNot you’re like the highest paid person in my company??

FeatherOrNot: You’re not paying me for my time as Mayura.

Mothman: I literally just said I’d give you a pay raise!!

FeatherOrNot: For my normal work hours. I still want to be paid as Mayura.

Mothman: This is ridiculous!! I’m not earning any money for being a super villain! This is a volunteer job, just like the heroes– they’re not getting paid!

BugOut!: Um, about that...

Mothman: What.

Cat: The city pays us for our service, you know?

Cat: like it isn’t linked to our civilian names, but we use it to pay for things when we’re in suit

BugOut!: Like that one time you damaged that poor man’s car?

Cat: It was just a scratch!!

Cat: an accident!

Cat: he wasn’t even mad and I paid for it!!

BugOut!: lol

BugOut!: anyways Paris gets a lot of pressure for having kids fight the villain, so if they weren’t paying us there would probably be riots

BugOut!: I just donate most of it to charity

FeatherOrNot: See, they’re getting paid, and I’m not.

FeatherOrNot: Consider me on strike until I get fair pay.

Mothman: This is ridiculous.

FeatherOrNot: #CoffeeWithTheBestBug

[FeatherOrNot sent over one image.]

Mothman: I thought I was the best bug!!

Mothman: You can’t get coffee with Ladybug!!

Mothman: Take her Miraculous!

FeatherOrNot: Sorry she’s only my enemy on the clock.

Cat: wait a second!!

Cat: Bugaboo, I thought that was our favorite cafe!!

Cat: why are you there with Mayura????

BugOut!: we wanted to chat after the support group ended, so we went and grabbed a coffee

Cat: but that’s our cafe! and our table!

BugOut!: it’s not a crime to hang out with other Miraculous holders?

Cat: I see how it is.

BugOut!: lol it’s just some coffee

3:29 PM

BugOut!: Chat?

BugOut!: Kitty?

BugOut!: it says you’re online?

Mothman: He’s DMing me.

4:15 PM

[Cat sent over two images.]

FeatherOrNot: Are... are you playing catch with Chat Noir??

Mothman: He said his father never did, and I never have with my son, so why not?

BugOut!: Chaton what are you doing????

Cat: Apparently our enemies are our friends now, so I’m spending some quality time with Hawky.

Cat: I don’t see the issue? You’re apparently all buddy buddy with Mayura now.

BugOut!: we had a cup of coffee– we didn’t play games!

Cat: A cup of coffee at our place!!

BugOut!: Chat!

Cat: Sorry, can’t hear you over the sound of bonding with my new Miraculous bff

BugOut!: Hawk Moth is going to steal your Miraculous.

Mothman: Why would I do that during a game of catch?

Mothman: I’m his nemesis, not an underhanded robber, sheesh.

Mothman: Also if Chat Noir’s father wouldn’t do something as simple as spend time with his son, then I guess I got to.

FeatherOrNot: Why don’t you start spending more time with your son??

Mothman: I saw him at dinner last week.

BugOut!: last week?

Mothman: Mind your own business you insect.

BugOut!: you’re an insect too

BugOut!: just remember that I’m Mayura’s favorite

Mothman: YOU’LL NEVER REPLACE ME

[FeatherOrNot send over one image.]

Cat: wait since when were you guys at an arcade??

BugOut!: #GirlsNightOut

BugOut!: #BugOut

Chapter Text

7:47 AM

Mothman: How does one approach someone they haven’t seen in a while?

FeatherOrNot: If you’re talking about an old friend, usually you greet them with “How have you been?”.

FeatherOrNot: If you’re talking about your son you walk into his room and spend the day with him before I take a week long vacation and leave you to deal with everything alone.

Mothman: Okay, I’m going

Mothman: Sheesh.

7:59 AM

Mothman: How does one avoid an awkward conversation?

Mothman: I’m only talking about the weather help

Mothman: now he’s talking about superheroes

Mothman: I don’t have have anything positive to say

Mothman: My son doesn’t like my supervillain outfit! I raised him better than this!

FeatherOrNot: *Mayura raised him wonderfully.

6:02 PM

BugOut!: OMK

BugOut!: @Cat

LadyOfBugs: HAVE YOU SEEN ADRIEN AGRESTE’S LATEST INSTAGRAM POST????

Mothman: What did he post?

BugOut!: kfsjkdsjkfdkjdfkjldjkfdkfskfkjl

BugOut!: he just got a bunch of ladybug merch

BugOut!: said I’m his favorite hero

BugOut!: in your face kitty cat

BugOut!: also spent the whole day with his father, which must have been nice

Cat: Must have been an awesome day for him. :)

[Admin BugOut! sent over one image.]

BugOut!: Look how happy he is isn't he a perfect angel????

Mothman: Don’t call him that!

BugOut!: @FeatherOrNot look its a picture of Gabriel Agreste

FeatherOrNot: Where?

Cat: ???

FeatherOrNot: none of your business

BugOut!: she has a celebrity crush on Gabriel

Mothman: wait what

Cat: what??????

FeatherOrNot: Hey Ladybug

FeatherOrNot: Die.

Mothman: Wait, back up, she what?

Mothman: Since when, Mayura???

FeatherOrNot: Sorry I can’t reply I need new glasses.

Mothman: I JUST BOUGHT YOU FIFTY PAIRS OF THOSE THINGS!

Cat: You stay away from Gabriel Agreste you peacock!

Cat: He deserves someone wonderful not a villain!

Cat: I will fight you!

Mothman: Why do you care?

Mothman: @FeatherOrNot I can see you’re online, answer me!

Cat: Gabriel deserves Nathalie not some flashy bird wannabe!

Mothman: DON’T TALK ABOUT MY MAYURA LIKE THAT!

BugOut!: is someone jealous?

Mothman: NO!

Cat: omk

Cat: my PeaHawk heart is happy

Cat: @ImBluu our ship is sailing

ImBluu: its about time we get a hawkyura confession ive been dying

Cat: also @FeatherOrNot stay away from Gabriel Agreste

Cat: #GabeNathForever #PeaHawkForever #NoGabeYura #GabeNathOnly

Mothman: Mayura how long have you had feelings for him????

Mothman: @FeatherOrNot

Mothman: please I need to know

BugOut!: lookie he’s jealous of gabe

Mothman: I am not!

Mothman: @FeatherOrNot

Mothman: please

FeatherOrNot: For the record Ladybug has a crush on Adrien Agreste, and it seems he has one on her, so the chances of them getting together could be very likely.

FeatherOrNot: So it seems like Gabriel Agreste could end up with Ladybug for a daughter in law.

Mothman: NO!

FeatherOrNot: Excuse me, I’m going to go write some Ladrien fanfics.

Mothman: Nathalie!

Cat: Yes. We need to get Gabriel to notice Nathalie, then get you and Mayura together, then all will be well. We’ll save your ship, Hawk Moth, don’t worry.

Mothman: kdfasjlk;sdfjkldfsoijerj

Chapter Text

DMs with Hawk Moth

Hawk Moth and Mayura

6:15 PM

Hawk Moth: Nathalie!

Mayura: nathalie isnt here please leave a message

Hawk Moth: Duusu give Nathalie her tablet back I need to talk to her!

Mayura: im under orders to tell you to go away

Mayura: so go away candy cane man 

6:17 PM

Hawk Moth: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ&ab

Mayura: Did...

Mayura: Did you just Rick Roll me?????

Hawk Moth: What?

Hawk Moth: I don’t know what you mean, but this is a song Ladybug showed me, apparently she thought I looked like someone in the video? I don’t know, teenagers are strange creatures.

Hawk Moth: But I really like the song, and I listen to it while I’m down

Hawk Moth: I figured it would cheer you up too, my dear Nathalie.

Mayura: ...

Mayura: That’s it

Mayura: I’m out of here.

Hawk Moth: What???

Mayura: I have not come this far in life just to be unknowingly RickRolled by my boss who was RickRolled with him under the impression that his enemy was just showing him a song. 

Mayura: I’m moving to Hawaii and living the rest of my life out on a beach. Peace.

Hawk Moth: Nathalie no please don’t leave me!!!

Hawk Moth and Ladybug

6:26 PM

Hawk Moth: Ladybug what is “rick roll”

Ladybug: ...

Hawk Moth: Mayura said that cool song you showed me a while back was me being rick rolled

Hawk Moth: I showed her that song and she seemed upset

Ladybug: lol

Hawk Moth: I want answers Ladybug!

Ladybug: I’m not the one rickrolling my crush after learning about their feelings!

Hawk Moth: What is this rick of rolling?? What does it mean?? What is happening?

Ladybug: lol

Hawk Moth: I hate you with the passions of a thousand suns

Ladybug: go towards the lamp moth boy

Hawk Moth: ????????

Hawk Moth and Chat Noir

6:32 PM

Hawk Moth: Mayura is leaving me for surfers in Hawaii.

Hawk Moth: Females are impossible, lets go drink our sorrows out at a bar

Chat Noir: umm... wrong number?

Hawk Moth: this is my mortal enemy and fellow pun lover, yes?

Chat Noir: yes.

Hawk Moth: Then no, not the wrong number.

Chat Noir: I’m a teenager I can’t legally drink why are you inviting me to a bar??

Hawk Moth: gah, stupid law abiding heroes

Hawk Moth: also I’m this city’s villain did you really think I care about laws?

Chat Noir: touche

Chat Noir: what other laws do you break?

Hawk Moth: aside from villaining it's mostly tax evasion 

Chat Noir: boring

Chat Noir: do you smuggle your son into bars or something

Hawk Moth: bold of you to assume I let my son leave the house

Hawk Moth: and no he is not old enough to drink I’m not a reckless parent, sheesh

Hawk Moth and Mayura

6:38 PM

Hawk Moth: Nathalie!

Hawk Moth: Nathalie!!!!!!

Mayura: nathalie isnt here please leave a message after the beep

Hawk Moth: Duusu I don’t want to talk to you!

Hawk Moth: Where’s Nathalie?

Mayura: beep

Hawk Moth: Nathalie I need to talk to you, please!

Mayura: beep

Mayura: beep

Mayura: beep

Mayura: beep

Mayura: beep

Hawk Moth: Shut up

Mayura: did you just tell miss nathalie to shut up how rude im telling her that you hate her how dare you

Hawk Moth: What??

Hawk Moth: No!

Hawk Moth: Duusu don’t you dare!!

Hawk Moth: Nathalie I was talking to Duusu not you!!!!

Hawk Moth: I don’t hate you, I never would!!!!

Hawk Moth: Nathalie please answer!!

Mayura: you hate miss nathalie she doesnt deserve you go away meanie face

Hawk Moth: I don’t hate her!

Mayura: yes you do

Hawk Moth: Shut up you stupid bird

Mayura: dont call her a stupid bird you meanie meanie pants

Hawk Moth: I WAS TALKING TO YOU NOT NATHALIE!

Mayura: you hate her

Hawk Moth : no I don’t she’s my best friend!

Mayura: so youre fine with her dating the surfers in hawaii

Hawk Moth: NO!

Hawk Moth: I will akumatize them all

Hawk Moth: wait how do you know I said anything about surfers–?

Mayura: chat noir is a fellow hawkyura and gabenath shipper we share screenshots

Hawk Moth: how dare he

Mayura: You were talking about me to Chat Noir?

Hawk Moth: Nathalie!!

Hawk Moth: Ignore everything Duusu was saying!

Hawk Moth: I don’t hate you!

Mayura: nathalie isnt here right now please leave a message after the beep

Hawk Moth: kladfskfsdlksdfalkj

Mayura: she loves you you know 

Hawk Moth: That’s why I’m trying to talk to her!

Mayura: you hate her

Hawk Moth: No!

Mayura: you dont?

Hawk Moth: No I don’t hate her how many times to I have to get that through your birdbrain Duusu!

Mayura: so you love her

Hawk Moth: Yes!

Hawk Moth: wait

Hawk Moth: Don’t put words into my mouth you kwami!

Hawk Moth and Duusu

6:55 PM

Duusu: stop trying to message her you idiot you literally live in the same house get out of your stupid lair and go talk to her so my gabenath ship can sail coward

Hawk Moth: You!!

Hawk Moth: You can’t just demand things to fit your perfect narrative you’re ruining things between Nathalie and I!

Duusu: you dont want her to be with anyone else do you i thought you were going to akumatize any surfer that went near her

Hawk Moth: None of them deserve her

Duusu: you love her

Hawk Moth: Stop this isn’t one of your fanfictions

Duusu: i am literally the kwami of emotion do you think i am just doing things randomly i can literally sense everything you feel and what everyone feels so open up your eyes you blind butterfly because you love her i can feel it

Hawk Moth: I am not taking advice from someone you can’t even capitalize their sentences.

Duusu: now or never mothman you gotta make your choice

Duusu: or else you lose her forever

Duusu: and if you mess this up i will have plaggy hunt you down armed with the foulest smelling of cheeses

Hawk Moth: You wouldn’t dare

Duusu: try me

Duusu: im not telling you what to do but i am telling you to get out of your lair and actually have a conversation because you humans never get anywhere when you bottle up emotions you stupid mortals

Hawk Moth: Who are you and what have you done with Duusu?

Hawk Moth and Jade Turtle

7:04 PM

Hawk Moth: You’re supposed to be wise and stuff right? Give me advice.

Jade Turtle: Follow your heart.

Jade Turtle: Time will tell all.

Jade Turtle: Your kwami will guide you.

Hawk Moth: My kwami downs a whole bottle of wine in less than ten minutes.

Jade Turtle: The light is inside of you, but you must let it shine.

Hawk Moth: Is this the advice you give the heroes????

Jade Turtle: lol I never said I was a good mentor

Jade Turtle: I was just the only one left

Jade Turtle: and if you’re looking for love advice don’t come to me I left the love of my life decades ago and she’s still waiting for me

Hawk Moth: ...

Hawk Moth: Yeah I’m just going to go ask someone else.

Jade Turtle: There are many paths in life. Choose carefully, search within you, and you will know the way.

Hawk Moth: Why are you like this?

Hawk Moth and Plagg

7:11 PM

Hawk Moth: Stay away from me you evil vile creature!

Hawk Moth: Keep your cheese away too!

Plagg: 🧀

Hawk Moth: I hate you.

Hawk Moth and Tikki

7:14 PM

Hawk Moth: You give me advice on designs now tell me how to talk to women without her kwami coming at my throat.

Tikki: Distract Duusu with chocolate.

Tikki: And pray you survive.

Hawk Moth: Survive what??

Tikki: 🎃

Hawk Moth: What is that even supposed to mean????

Hawk Moth and Mayura

7:27 PM

Hawk Moth: I’d like to talk to you.

Hawk Moth: Face to face

Hawk Moth: You’re one of the most important people in my life.

Hawk Moth: I’ll stop spamming you with messages, and whenever you’d like to talk, whenever you’re ready, I’ll be here and will set everything aside, okay?

Mayura: Make that same offer to your son and then we’ll talk, Mothman.

Hawk Moth: ...

Hawk Moth: I never claimed to be a good person why do people keep expecting that from me!!

Chapter Text

3:45 AM

AlsoACat: you are my fire

AlsoACat: the one desire

AlsoACat: believe me when I say

[Admin AlsoACat changed NoWayzz’s name to “IWantItThatWayzz”.]

IWantItThatWayzz : Why must you do this to me Plagg

MyWingsAren’tDark: Do you mean to say... “tell me why?”

IWantItThatWayzz: -_-

ImBluu: do you think its aint nothing but a heartache

SugarCube: Ain’t nothing but a mistake?

AlsoACat: I never wanna hear you say

AlsoACat: @IWantItThatWayzz

SomeOldMan: Tell me why!

IWantItThatWayzz: Master not you too

SugarCube: Ain't nothin' but a heartache!

SomeOldMan: Tell me why!

ImBluu: aint nothing but a mistake

SomeOldMan: TELL ME WHY!

MyWingsAren’tDark: I

SugarCube: Never

ImBluu: wanna 

MyWingsAren’tDark: Hear

SugarCube: You

ImBluu: say

AlsoACat: @IWantItThatWayzz

IWantItThatWayzz: I hate all of you

IWantItThatWayzz: change my name now, Plagg

AlsoACat: so what you’re saying is when it comes to your nickname you want things...

[Admin AlsoACat changed IWantItThatWayzz’s name to “YourWayzz”.]

AlsoACat: you want things your wayzz? 😸

YourWayzz: ...

AlsoACat: well I’m sorry to say that things aren’t going to be your wayzz, they’re going to be...

[Admin AlsoACat changed YourWayzz’s name to “MyWayzz”.]

MyWayzz: That’s it. I’m leaving this group.

ImBluu: good luck

MyWayzz: ...How do I leave this group?

SugarCube: One of the admins has to kick you.

MyWayzz: No, this internet chat room things always have a means to leave when you want, why can’t I see it?

AlsoACat: I destroyed it

MyWayzz: haha.

MyWayzz: ...

MyWayzz: what???

MyWayzz: I looked it up! The option to leave the group should be in this menu!! 

AlsoACat: like I said, I destroyed that button. No one is leaving this group unless me or Pigtails chooses.

MyWayzz: how do you destroy a digital option on a website????

AlsoACat: I’m Destruction, I can destroy anything I like.

MyWayzz: but

MyWayzz: That’s it. I give up.

ImBluu: @AlsoACat 

AlsoACat: what.

ImBluu: you are my fire my one desire

AlsoACat: you are my annoyance my one condolence 

[Admin AlsoACat changed ImBluu’s name to “Annoying”.]

MyWingsAren’tDark: Hey can you change my name too?

AlsoACat: why

MyWingsAren’tDark: I’ve literally had the same name since this group started.

AlsoACat: wait really??

AlsoACat: huh. let me see what I can come up with.

[Admin AlsoACat changed AlsoACat’s name to “GrateCheese”.]

[Admin GrateCheese changed SugarCube’s name to “CheeseCake”.]

[Admin GrateCheese changed Cat’s name to “Kitten”.]

MyWingsAren’tDark: ??

[Admin GrateCheese changed BugOut!’s name to “LadyNoir”.]

MyWingsAren’tDark: What about me??

GrateCheese: eh, my mind’s blank. sorry.

GrateCheese: wait! I know!

[Admin GrateCheese changed MyWayzz’s name to “MilkyWayzz”.]

MilkyWayzz: NO!

Chapter Text

4:28 PM

FeatherOrNot: @Kitten Why are you lurking outside of the Agreste Manor?

Kitten: HA!

Kitten: HAHA!

Kitten: I KNEW IT!! YOU’RE HERE TOO

Kitten: where are you hiding birdbrain!!

Kitten: you need to stay five hundred miles away from Gabriel Agreste!! he’ll never love you!

Mothman: You are putting a lot of confidence in that “never”. Anything is possible. Theoretically, of course.

Annoying: lkafslkfsljlflfifeklsdlewoi

FeatherOrNot: Meaning?

Mothman: Mayura!! 

Mothman: Mayura wait don’t go offline we need to talk!

FeatherOrNot: Sorry, it looks like you haven’t spent any quality time with your son, so I’ll be going now.

Mothman: Mayura!! Wait!!

Kitten: come out and fight me mayura!!

Kitten: I will be personally protecting the Agreste manor as long as this toxic celebrity crush on Gabriel remains, you shall never draw near here!

Mothman: Wait

Mothman: No. Don’t lurk around here you cat, leave!

Kitten: you’re here too??

Mothman: ...

Mothman: Yes. I am here to collect Mayura and leave.

Mothman: get off of the gate you cat what if you destroy it??

Mothman: that’s expensive!

Mothman: I mean, I assume it is seeing as this is the home of the great Gabriel Agreste, and clearly he only buys the best.

LadyNoir: wait 

LadyNoir: wait a second

LadyNoir: WAIT A SECOND

LadyNoir: oh my kwami we’ve been so blind!

LadyNoir: @Kitten @Kitten

Mothman: wait stop

Mothman: Whatever you’re thinking you’re wrong!

LadyNoir: It’s not just Mayura who has a crush on Gabriel Agreste, Hawk Moth does too!

FeatherOrNot: ...

Mothman: what.

Kitten: omk that makes so much sense

Kitten: how just often do you two villains lurk here??

Kitten: here I thought your crime was akumas when clearly its stalking and being a homewrecker!

MyWingsAren’tDark: I mean is it really homewrecking when Gabriel and Nathalie aren’t technically together?

Mothman: For now.

Mothman: hypothetically of course.

FeatherOrNot: stop that

Mothman: Why?

FeatherOrNot: You can’t just do that!!

Mothman: I’ll keep doing it until you come talk to me!

FeatherOrNot: I won’t until you spend time with your son!

Mothman: YOU CAN’T MAKE ME

Kitten: where are you villains hiding I’m going to Cataclysm both of you!

Kitten: Gabriel Agreste is going to marry Nathalie and they’re going to be a happy family with Adrien and there’s nothing you can do to stop fate!!

Mothman: I don’t have romantic feelings Gabriel Agreste!!

MyWingsAren’tDark: Are you sure about that? I mean you do spend a lot of time looking at his designs. And reading all the reviews for every Gabriel show. And you’ve never missed one of Gabriel’s public appearance’s.

Annoying: yeah its true im pretty sure you know more about gabriel agreste than mayura does and thats saying something

Mothman: Both of you kwamis shut up right this second before I throw away all the foods in my household that you like!

LadyNoir: wait.

LadyNoir: wait a second.

LadyNoir: how are your kwamis messaging the chat if you guys are transformed right now??

FeatherOrNot: Do you really think we’re stupid enough to hang around transformed by the Agreste Manor?

FeatherOrNot: Especially when Chat Noir is lurking around plotting our murders?

FeatherOrNot: We’re not stupid you know.

LadyNoir: No I don’t think you’re stupid

LadyNoir: just hawk face

FeatherOrNot: Yeah, fair enough.

Mothman: Mayura!!

Mothman: and she’s offline again...

7:02 PM

LadyNoir: @Kitten why are you still at the Agreste Manor?

Kitten: wait My Lady are you here??

LadyNoir: no there’s an article about it on the Ladyblog.

Kitten: oh. 

Kitten: that makes sense.

LadyNoir: you should probably head home now

Mothman: Yeah. You should. Please.

Kitten: so you can sneak in here and seduce Gabriel Agreste?? Never!!

Mothman: I am not going to seduce Gabirel Agreste!

Kitten: yeah like I believe that

Mothman: I’m going to sneak in and seduce Nathalie Sancoeur.

Kitten: what

LadyNoir: what

FeatherOrNot: Wait

Annoying: yesssssssssss

LadyNoir: Chat Noir, ignore him, he’s just trying to get under your skin.

[Kitten sent over one image.]

LadyNoir: WHAT?

CheeseCake: Is… is Hawk Moth holding a bouquet of flowers?

Annoying: itsssss happpening

LadyNoir: I’m on my way!

FeatherOrNot: Cool. You do that. I’m going to go make out with Gabriel Agreste now.

Kitten: NOOO!

Kitten: I’m going to have nightmares tonight...

FeatherOrNot: @Mothman I’m still holding you to spending time with your son no matter who you’re dating by the way.

Mothman: dang it