Archive of Our Own ^beta

“It’s just gonna be a normal day, nothing is going to go wrong, just stay calm.” I chant to myself as I walk into the café and prepare for the morning rush.

I settle into my routine as my mind wanders and settles on the past. And by the past, I mean a certain sandy-haired, bright-eyed man. Even after all these years, I’m still stupidly in love with Shayne Topp. 

I open up the shop for the day with a sigh and try to clear the thoughts of my high school lover from my head. It’s been over ten years for christ’s sake. I’ve been in two serious relationships since I last saw him for christ’s sake. Hell, I’ve been married and divorced and he was nowhere to be found for either. He’s disappeared from the face of the earth for all I know. I. Need. To. Move. On. 

From both of them. 

I rub the place where my wedding ring used to be as I slide behind the counter. I really did love him. But I never should have said “yes” when he proposed or held my peace and said “I do” at our wedding or agreed to have our son. I should have known that tall and lean, sweet and soft, silver and green could never replace short and buff, funny and loud, blonde and blue. 

I twirl my sharpie, waiting for customers and resisting the urge to draw all over myself. My OCD nags me from the back of my head and I calmly repeat my mantra. I jerk my head up when I hear the jangling of our door bells and ready myself to greet them before I realize that it was Noah.

“Hey Noah!”

“Morning Damien”

“The usual?”

“Yep!”

As I made his regular order of coffee and a blueberry scone, Tim walked in and put on his apron.

“Heyo! Someone’s early,” I say, sliding Noah his coffee and scone.

“Good worming,” he replied, quiet as ever.

“Do you know if Tommy is coming in?”

“He’s coming in a lil late so I’m covering for him.”

I internalize my squeeing at how cute Tim and Tommy are and focus on wiping some coffee grounds off the counter.

Kevin comes in just in time for the morning rush, which leaves us exhausted.

I sink into a couch with my cold brew and wave at Kevin as he leaves, and muster up a quiet greeting as Tommy comes in.

“Sorry about leaving all of you stranded, but you know how I am post weekend.”

“‘S fine,” I murmur, covering my face with the back of my hand.

Minutes later, I peel myself off the sweet, comfy, precious sofa and put myself back to work.

I’m pulled from my thoughts as I hear the bells jingle, bringing me face to face with the man I thought I’d never see again.

His face, reddened by the cold weather outside, had changed but it was still familiar. His jaw had sharpened, his nose had seen a break or two, his cheeks had thinned, he’d gained a few scars that weren’t from mere circumstance, his eyes were far too weary for someone our age, and his light brown hair, windswept and dusted with snow, was a far cry from his once sandy blonde.

“Hey”

“Uh… hi,” before I could even process what was happening, my brain went on autopilot, stupidly saying, “so… what brings you here?”

“Oh, um, I always pass by here on my way home and I finally decided to come in and get a drink because it’s so cold out.” He gently smiled, melting my heart.

“Oh.” I barely spoke, exhaling the word. I barely managed to muster a soft, quiet voice to say, “What can I get you?”

“Just a peppermint mocha-“

“Extra whip.” I unintentionally finish his sentence.

“H-how’d you know?”

“Do you really not recognize me?” I softly ask, teary eyed and heartbroken.

When amber pools and electric orbs meet, he realizes what I mean, and everything turns to shades of green.