Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Keiko stared down at her hands as they sat in the office of the orphanage. Mamoru was standing behind his wife, one of his hands on her shoulder as he caressed it softly with his fingertips to calm her down. Keiko sighed as she leant back.

“Are you sure it’s a good idea?” she asked in a whisper and looked up at him.

He smiled as he leant down to press a kiss to her temple. They had talked about it for a long time now, and he was still sure that this was a good idea. They had talked about adopting a child for a few years now, and he didn’t think that now was a wrong time.

“Yes, but if you have decided not to, we can stop, okay? But we decided to go here, and Mina and Satoshi are very excited.”

“They are,” Keiko agreed with a small laugh in her voice. “Satoshi had been looking forward to a little brother,” she whispered, her voice breaking again. Her husband squeezed her shoulder, looking up when the door opened.

“I’m sorry that you had to wait, but there was a situation that needed my attention,” the woman said as she entered the room. Mamoru shrugged as he finally sat beside his wife.

“Thank you for taking the time to talk with us.”

The woman smiled as she shook her head. “It’s my job. So I read that you want to adopt one of our proteges?”

“Yes, if possible,” Mamoru agreed while Keiko nodded slowly as well.

“Mrs Ohno, I see you just miscarried?”

“Half a year ago, yes,” she answered her voice slightly broken at the memory of the life that wasn’t meant to be.

“I see. I apologise for seeming so unfeeling. But I have to make sure that those kids are safe and loved. They already experienced bad things. They are not meant to be a second choice because you lost a child.”

“I understand that,” Keiko said with a frown. “And it isn’t like that. We wanted to adopt before all that happened. I already have two other children, and we wanted to share our happiness with another, not so lucky child.”

The woman nodded and then proceeded to explain what they needed to do and bring for the adoption to be possible. Keiko tuned her out after a while, knowing that she couldn’t proceed everything right now and that her husband was listening intently. Her eyes wandered to the window that led to the backyard where the younger children were playing and the thought to bring one of them home, still felt just right.

—

Keiko smiled softly as she knelt in front of the climbing frame where a small child was playing by himself. He was the only one not playing with someone else.

The small boy looked up when he felt the shadow falling over him, his mouth opening a bit in surprise as he looked at the woman.

“Hello,” he said after a moment of silence. “Who are you?”

“I’m Keiko, who are you?” she asked in a bit of amusement as he looked her over with curious eyes.

“I’m Kazu! Play?”

“What do you want to play?”

The small boy looked around and then pointed at a small ball. “Ball.”

Keiko chuckled as she nodded. “Okay, but then you have to come out from there.”

Kazu nodded as he crawled out from under the climbing frame and waddled over to the ball. He grabbed it with both hands before pushing it to Keiko, who caught it and then rolled it back.

—

“Ninomiya Kazunari is our newest addition,” the woman said as she looked out of the window. “He tends to hide from the other children but is very affectionate with the adults.”

Keiko nodded slightly in understanding her eyes going to the boy the woman was talking about. He was cute and seemed to ignore the children around him.

“His mother left him here for adoption just three weeks ago. He is not as far developed as he should be at his age and has anger issues. The doctors we brought him to think that his mother abused drugs, we don’t know what he has suffered through up until he ended up here. He would need someone with experience; that’s why we rule out any couples that are looking for a first child.”

“That’s horrible,” Keiko choked out. “How old is he?”

“Almost three. I know I’m jumping this on you. But if you are serious, we would be happy if he finds a new safe and most of all, loving home. He is still young; we can’t provide him with what he needs here. He is suffering from withdrawals symptoms, and I totally understand if it’s too much for you. But since I saw in your documents that you are a trained nurse…” The woman looked honestly, sorry.

Keiko looked at the small boy again, her heart going out for the little boy who clearly didn’t have the best start in life.

“We don’t know how to handle that kind of problems,” Mamoru said.

“But you would be willing?”

Mamoru looked at his wife. “If we could meet him first,” he said with a small smile.

“Of course. We need you to come to meet him a few times before anything will be decided either way.”

Mamoru nodded, helping his wife up and going outside to meet Kazu.

—

It was a few weeks later and after many talks with the people at the orphanage, child therapists and doctors as well as a few meetings with Kazu they were allowed to take him home. Keiko had already fallen in love with the shy boy who seemed to have opened up to them.

“Hello!” he cried out, and Keiko picked him up when he reached them.

“Hello, Kazu.”

“Sa-To?”

Keiko chuckled at the hopeful look on his face. It was true that Kazu hid from all children, but he liked to play with her son. And Satoshi had fallen in love with the small boy the first time he had seen him.

“Satoshi is waiting in the car for us.”

“Play?”

“Yes, later. Kazu you remember that we asked you if you want to live with us?”

Kazu nodded as he sucked on his thumb as Keiko carried him inside. “Where is Momo?”

“Bed,” Kazu said as he wriggled in her arms until she put him down. He walked down the hallway, holding to Keiko’s hand, which led him carefully to the bedrooms. It took a while since Kazu had still problems walking as he had a broken leg when he arrived here.

Inside the dorm, Kazu climbed on his bed and pulled down the stuffed bunny he had gotten from Satoshi as he had liked it so much when he had visited them the very first time. He hugged it tightly, looking up at her. He grinned when he saw Mamoru coming in with the nice lady of the orphanage.

“I’m sorry there isn’t much,” the woman said, but Mamoru shook his head with a smile.

“We already brought things for him at home. I would feel bad if we took the little you have,” he mumbled as he came to the bed and ruffled Kazu’s hair.

“Ready to go?”

“I think so,” Keiko said as she picked up Kazu again.

“Go?” Kazu asked with a sad face as he hugged the woman closer. He didn’t want them to leave that early.

“Yes, but with Kazu,” the lady from the orphanage said, getting his attention. “Kazu, I’m happy to tell you that from now on you can live with them.”

“With Mamo, Ko?” he asked, looking at the adults who nodded.

“Yes, and Satoshi and Mina,” Keiko said as she caressed his hair.

His lips formed a pout since he didn’t understand fully what they were talking about. “Leave?”

“Yes, say goodbye, Kazu. We won’t come back here,” Keiko whispered as she hugged him tightly. Kazu nodded and waved at the room with his bunny tightly in his hands as Keiko carried him outside. As they reached the car, he waved at the woman from the orphanage before peering inside the car. A bright smile was on his face as he recognised Satoshi sitting inside.

He shrieked in happiness, holding out his arms for Satoshi. “Sa-To!” he said giggling as the woman stripped him inside his high seat. Satoshi took his hand in his own, moving it up and down.

“Hi Kazu,” he said happily to know that the other would be his brother from now on.

A/N: Okay… bad beginning but the real story starts from now on xx I have no idea how adoptions work in Japan, so sorry again.

Chapter Text

Kazu held tightly to the shirt of Keiko as they stepped to the house that would be his home soon. He still couldn’t really understand what was happening. The only thing he realised was that he could play with Satoshi each day now and that he would live here from now on.

The fingers of his other hand were in his mouth, sucking at his thumb nervously and a bit scared as Keiko carried him inside. She was smiling down softly at him, and he stared into the faces of the others who were staring at him with curious eyes. He hid his face at Keiko’s shoulder, whining softly and Keiko softly stroke his back.

“Shh… Everything is okay,” she whispered, gesturing for the others to go away and leave them alone. She smiled when her husband picked Satoshi up to carry him outside, explaining that they needed to check something in the garden while Mina said she had to do some homework.

—

“I wanted to show Kazu, papa,” Satoshi said with a pout when he was brought outside. It was no fun to be here all alone when he had a little brother to play with!

“I know, Satoshi. And I promise you can play with him all you both want later. He is just very scared and confused right now.”

“Mama and papa are not scary,” Satoshi said with a pout in his voice. “Not scary at all.”

His father chuckled softly as he put him on the swing and even pushed him a little. He turned his face up to be able to look at the older man as he swung his legs aimlessly.

“I’m glad you think so. But Kazu doesn’t know that yet. He doesn’t know us well.”

“You met already. He knows me. Kazu knows I’m not scary,” Satoshi decided. The younger boy had hugged him after all, and you don’t hug people that were scary.

“That’s true. Mh, Satoshi it’s really hard to explain. But Kazu’s mommy… His mommy was ill, you know? And sometimes she did things that were not nice to her son. That’s why Kazu was in the orphanage. And that is why we are now his new family.”

“New family? Will he go back to his mommy?”

Mamoru sighed as he shook his head. “No, he won’t. She can’t take care of a little boy since she is so ill. She decided that it’s better if he lives somewhere else. Somewhere where people are not ill and can take care of him, ne? Someone to love him like we do now.”

Satoshi frowned as he stared back to the floor and at his feet. He still didn’t understand it fully. But he understood that Kazu would be with them now. That was good. Because he liked Kazu.

“I will be a big brother,” he said with a grin. “I will be the best big brother!”

“I know you will. Ne Satoshi, if there are sudden loud noises, they might scare him, and he might be crying ne? Or sometimes he might do something that scares you. It’s important that you know that Kazu is a little ill himself. So if that happens, you need to call for your mama or me, okay?”

“Yes, papa. But I will protect Kazu from scary things,” he promised with a smile. Mamoru chuckled as he pushed him a few times more with the swing.

“I know you will,” he said as he finally moved to the front to catch Satoshi when he jumped from the swing while laughing. “How about you go to your room now? I’m sure your mama will come with Kazu there when he has calmed down, and you can show him your toys. He has not brought any after all.”

Satoshi made big eyes as he remembered that Kazu had only the toy bunny they had brought with them the very first time he had allowed to visit the boy at the place where all the children had been.

“He will get some from me!” he yelled and ran inside to start looking for the toys that he would be able to give to his brother from now on.

—

“Do you want to drink something, Kazu?” she asked when they were alone, and Kazu peaked up again. He relaxed just slightly when he realised that they were alone and put his head on her shoulder as he nodded. She smiled as she caressed the long hair of the boy, frowning slightly at the feel. She could already feel that his hair wasn’t all healthy and she wanted to cut it just to make sure that he felt more comfortable.

Satoshi wasn’t due for another haircut for at least two weeks, but she hoped that she could convince the boy to do it now to show Kazu that there was no need to be scared about it if he was scared. But for now, she just wanted him to feel comfortable in her home. So she kept him on one arm as she went around the kitchen to prepare hot chocolate for him. Kazu observed her with curious eyes, the thumb still in his mouth but at least the dead grip had lessened a little. When she had filled the warm drink in a cup for children and sit down with him on her lap.

Kazu carefully let go of the woman as he was placed on her lap and pressed against the adult. He always tried to be close to another with his whole body if possible, and they all let him then. Keiko held him around the waist so that he wouldn’t fall down and helped him with the other hand to hold the mug with both hands.

“For Kazu?”

“Yes just for you,” she said with a small chuckle. His eyes brightened just a bit as he carefully took the first sip of the treat. He licked his lips and then took another sip of the drink. It was delicious.

Keiko laughed softly as she watched the boy enjoy his drink. She played with his hair as he finished the glass slowly. “Yummy?”

“Uhn,” he said, nodding happily as he licked the rest of the cream from his lips. She chuckled as she hugged him close for a second.

They stayed silent for a bit until the boy got a bit uncomfortable and started to fidget on top of him. She put him to the floor and smiled as he jumped up and down. “Are you ready to discover your new home?”

“YES!” he yelled and took hold of her shirt when she stood. She played with his hair before carefully leading him out of the kitchen.

“If you are hungry or thirsty you can come into the kitchen all the time, okay? I normally prepare snack plates with fruits or vegetables you can eat if you want something else, you can tell me ne? And you’ll have your own cup to drink whenever you are thirsty,” she explained, watching him as he observed the room. He nodded mutely, and she led him through the other rooms in a similar fashion. Explaining to him what room they were in and making sure that he understood that he was welcomed in any of them.

“Sa-To” he cried out when they found Ohno in one room playing with a car on the carpet. He smiled toothily as he waddled over to him and fell to his knees in front of the older play. “Brumm-Brumm,” he giggled as he pointed at the car.

Satoshi giggled as he offered him the toy and then took another one from the side so that they could sit side by side, moving the cars on the carpet that was made out of streets and houses.

Kazu made happy noises, and Keiko chuckled as she observed them for a moment. “Do you want to play?”

“Uhn, play,” Kazu agreed, making some noises that could be interpreted as the noises a car made and she hummed in agreement.

“Okay. Satoshi, I’m heading to the kitchen for lunch. Call me if you need anything, okay?”

“Will do, mama,” he said happily that he was allowed to play with his new brother now because he had felt really sad when his father had explained to him that Kazu needed to be alone with his mother for a bit.

Satoshi talked with Kazu about anything that came into his mind and about the playing cars grinning whenever Kazu repeated something. His parents had told him that Kazu had a lousy time until now and that it was their job to make sure that the other boy was happy. And since he was a big brother now, he wanted to make him happy and help him with everything.

That was also why when he saw that Kazu was starting to drop and rubbed his eyes he stood and carefully picked the small toddler up to carry him with problems to his bed to put him inside and put the blanket over him.

“Kazu sleepy, bye-bye,” Satoshi said with a grin as he ruffled his hair softly. “Good night Kazu.”

“Sleepy-night Kazu,” the little boy agreed, and Satoshi caressed his hair until the little boy fell to sleep, then he went down to his parents to tell his mother that Kazu was sleeping.

Chapter Text

“Satoshi, come here for a moment,” Keiko called, and Satoshi nodded as he walked over to his mother. Keiko smiled as she helped him climb onto her lap.

“Mama, what is wrong?” he asked curiously.

“Kazunari’s hair is quite long, ne sweetheart?”

“Yes, he looks like Mi-nee,” he said with a giggle. “But prettier,” he added in a whisper as he looked around. Mina was always trying to look pretty nowadays and didn’t play with him that much anymore. She had a funny but sometimes scary look in her eyes when he said others were prettier than her. But she was his big sister! Even his mama was prettier.

Keiko sighed with a small smile on her face. “He does a little ne? But his hair is not healthy, and I want to cut his hair.”

Satoshi grimaced as he didn’t like cutting his hair. But then he understood that it was necessary if the hair wasn’t healthy. Keiko had explained to him that cutting it made it grow back a bit more healthy.

“I fear that he will be scared of the scissors. Just like you are.”

“Am not,” Satoshi agreed as he shook his head wildly. He was scared of nothing!

Keiko chuckled softly as she played with a strand of his hair. “Then, maybe I can cut your hair first after his nap. And you can show him that it’s not scary and doesn’t hurt?” she asked.

Satoshi made big eyes at those words. He really didn’t like cutting his hair. He was scared of the sounds it made, and he was sure that his hairs hurt when they were cut. But he was a big brother now. And he didn’t want Kazu to be hurt or scared, so he nodded with a big pout on his face.

“Oh my brave little hero,” she cooed and hugged him tightly, tickling him slightly as he did so. He giggled as he wriggled on top of her.

“I’m a big boy now! Kazu is little,” he disagreed, though.

Keiko laughed softly as she kissed his forehead, making him smile. He liked the warm kisses and hugs from his mother. They were always very special—another kind of special from the gentle hugs of his father.

“True, you are my big boy now,” she said in a playful voice and squeezed his cheeks, making him laugh loudly.

“And as you are so very brave it’ll be curry for dinner, sounding good?”

Satoshi’s eyes sparkled as he jumped from her lap and did a funny dance at the living room cheering for the curry his mother would make for them. He loved his mother’s curry. His mother’s cooking was the very best! Kazu would be so surprised, he thought with delight.

Keiko smiled as she ruffled his hair and went to the kitchen to prepare the promised food finally. It would need a while on the stove to make sure that it had the sweet taste that Satoshi favoured. Satoshi followed her and climbed on the small step that was there.

“Can I help?”

“Yes, you may help, but first wash your hands,” she said. He nodded with a pout but hopped off the step again to run to the bathroom and wash his hands. He peered into his bedroom when he went back, grinning when he saw that Kazu was still sleeping, hugging his bunny tightly in his arms.

“Kazu is still asleep,” he announced as he was back and climbed up again. His mother had already put peeled potatoes on a chopping board for him together with a knife that he was allowed to use if he was very careful doing so.

“That’s good,” Keiko said as she observed him for a moment, before starting to prepare a homemade roux for the curry and then took over with cutting the onions and carrots that were too hard for him. He cut the apples in turn and grinned whenever she was not looking at him so that he could put a piece in his mouth.

Keiko hid her grin at his antics and washed her hands when she was finished. She prepared everything in the pot and stirred it under Satoshi’s curious eyes before picking him up so that he could stir the whole mix when the water was inside.

“Now the lid and then we have to let it simmer for a while,” she explained.

“YES!” he cried out happily, flinching when there was suddenly a loud cry from the bedroom. His fingers tightened their grip around his mother’s neck, who flinched because Satoshi pinched her skin with how tightly he held her.

“Everything is okay,” she whispered as she carried him over to the stairs where his father stood already. “Go to your papa, sweetheart.”

Satoshi wanted to disagree and hide at his mother’s side and then go to Kazu, but he was scared because of the loud cry, and his papa had explained that Kazu only needed his mama in these moments. That was why he hesitantly held his hands out for his father and pressed his face against his chest, now crying himself.

“Kazu hurt?”

“Kazu is scared, Satoshi,” his father whispered as he rocked him in his arms. “He had a bad dream, I’m sure. Your mama will make it all go away.”

“Promise?”

“Yes, promise. Let’s look for a snack, okay? Kazu will be hungry after his nap. How about we cut some fruits or vegetables?”

“I can cut apples, and cucumber,” Satoshi sniffed. Rubbing his wet cheeks. “Mama said, I’m really good at that.”

“Oh, that’s great,” he praised him as he carried Satoshi to the kitchen to prepare a snack plate with a mix of fruits and vegetables for both boys later.

—

Kazu was thrashing wildly in the blanket he had around him, and Keiko was there just in time to safe him from a nasty fall as the sheet finally unwounded from around his legs.

She rocked the boy in her arms, as she tried not to flinch or wince whenever the thrashing hands hit her. “I got you; I got you. Everything is safe,” she said in a soft voice, praying for him to calm down. It was slow, but finally, he slumped against her, crying softly as his face was pressed against her breast.

“Did you have a bad dream?” she asked, needlessly as she felt him shaking and shivering against her. She settled down as her hand wandered over his back. Since Kazu didn’t outright react to her, she started to rock him again.

“Baby mine, don’t you cry. Baby mine…” she sang until she felt him relax. She caressed his cheeks and rubbed away the tears. “Let’s get you cleaned up,” she said, not caring about the wet spot on his trousers as she picked him up again and carried him to the bathroom.

Kazu was silent and clung to her most of the time as she cleaned him and washed his face before putting him into new clothes. She would make Mamoru change the sheets when she had both children downstairs, she decided with a sigh.

“Arm?” Kazu asked hopefully as they were both changed. Keiko nodded with a smile as she picked him up and hugged him against her.

Kazu put his head back on her shoulder, trustingly as she carried him to the kitchen. Kazu peered carefully at the two people in there. Mamoru smiled at him and ruffled his hair as Keiko sat him down at the table beside Satoshi, who was eating one slice of apple.

Kazu carefully took a piece of banana when Satoshi pushed the plate closer to him and ate it. Keiko observed him before whispering to Mamoru about the mishap with the sheets, and the man vanished to clean the bedroom without question as Keiko sat down with her sons.

“Kazu, I want to cut your hair today, will that be okay?”

Kazu looked at her with big red-rimmed eyes as he nibbled on a piece of cucumber he held with both hands. “Hurt?”

“No, it doesn’t hurt. But then your hair won’t fall into your eyes anymore, and it won’t hurt to comb it,” she explained as Kazu tugged at the knots with a frown on his face.

“No hurt?”

“Promise. It doesn’t hurt, right, Satoshi?”

Satoshi nodded as he ate another apple. “I will cut Satoshi’s hair as well, ne? So you can come with us and make sure it won’t hurt, okay?”

“Momo too?”

“No, Momo doesn’t need to cut his hair yet. But you can take him with you. He will watch as well, ne?”

Kazu nodded as he held the next piece of banana a bit too tightly in his fingers so that it got squished up. He frowned as he stared at the mess, frowning slightly. Keiko chuckled and got up to get a washcloth and clean the mess. “It’s okay. Do you want something to drink?”

Kazu nodded as he started to eat some more of the prepared snacks and drank the water Keiko put down in front of the children. Satoshi did so as well, telling him things about what they could do the rest of the day and about the curry his mother made.

“And tonight we can bath together, and I read you a story. As I was little, I always bathed together with Mi-nee, but Mi-nee doesn’t want to anymore because she is all big now,” he said with a pout on his face.

“But Kazu will bath with me, right? I have a duck to play with and a ship. It’s fun!”

“Bath scary,” Kazu said. “No water above.”

“We won’t be showering,” Satoshi agreed as he scrunched up his nose. “Showering is scary ne? But we can sit in the bath. It’s like in the swimming pool in summer. Just not in the garden. Oh, we can play in the garden Kazu. I can push you on the swing.”

“Kazu can’t. No moving alone.”

“I can’t do it well as well,” Satoshi agreed. “Mi-nee can go so high that she can touch the sky with her feet. The clouds even! But papa will push us if we go to the swings. He does it good,” he giggled. “It’s fun.”

“Fun good,” Kazu agreed as he put the last piece of banana in his mouth. “Kazu full.”

“Good shall we cut your hair then. Afterwards, you can go out in the garden with your papa, Satoshi.”

Satoshi nodded happily as he hopped from the chair holding out his hand for Kazu who took it after just a second of hesitation. Satoshi giggled as he swung their arms. “Let’s get Momo. Mama will prepare here, right?”

“Yes. Tell your papa to give you a big towel, okay?”

“Is papa up?”

“Yes, he is doing laundry,” she said with a smile. Satoshi nodded as he led Kazu back to his room to get Momo. While Kazu carried the bunny with both arms, Satoshi went to get the towel and brought that down to the kitchen. He frowned for a second as he saw the scary scissors but then a determined look crossed his face as he climbed on the chair. He was a big boy now, and big boys were not scared of haircuts. He would show Kazu that it was not scary at all.

Chapter Text

Keiko chuckled as she put a towel around Satoshi’s neck and started to cut his hair while humming lowly in her throat. She knew that Satoshi was always very nervous about having his hair cut, and if she didn’t think it was necessary for Kazu, she wouldn’t have made him do it.

Kazu sat on the chair across from them, hugging his Momo close to his chest as he watched Satoshi closely. “Owie?” he asked somewhere in the middle of the hair cut.

“No, it doesn’t hurt. Mama is very careful,” he said as he moved his legs back and forth.

“No scary?”

Satoshi hummed as he carefully held his head straight so that his mother could continue without cutting him somewhere where it would hurt. “Scissors are scary,” he said instead. Because his mama always told him lying was terrible. “But mama having them not so much.”

Kazu nodded in understanding as he moved his legs together with Satoshi. He giggled whenever their feet hit each other. Keiko smiled as she finished and put the scissors on the table to clean Satoshi and then put away the towel. “Finished,” she said, and Satoshi giggled as he jumped off the chair. He ruffled his very short hair.

“Look feels funny,” Satoshi said and took Kazu’s hand in his own so that the younger could feel his hair. Kazu giggled at the soft feeling and nodded.

“Kazu your turn, okay?” Keiko asked as she cleaned off the chair.

“Okay,” he said as he got off his chair and let Keiko lift him on the other one. He held his bunny tightly when he was seated safely.

“You don’t need to be scared. I would never hurt you,” she promised as she patted his hair.

“Uhn,” he mumbled as she put the towel around him and carefully sprayed his hair with a bit of water, before combing it carefully and starting to cut the hair.

“Mama sing?” Satoshi asked as he sat close to his brother and held the one hand that was not clinging to the bunny. “I like it when mama sings. It’s nice ne?”

“Yes, Sato-mama good. Me likes,” Kazu agreed readily.

“Oh, is that so? Then, of course, I will sing you a little song,” she promised before she started to sing a song to both children.

Satoshi hummed along as he moved Kazu’s hand in his own who giggled softly at that, not realising that Keiko had already started to cut his hair in a similar fashion that Satoshi now had.

“All done,” she declared after a few songs and clapped her hands as she put the scissors down. “Was that scary Kazu?”

“No,” Kazu said as he shook his head with surprised, wide eyes. “Sato-mama nice.”

“My mama is the best!” Satoshi agreed with a giggle when his mother rolled her eye sand, tickled him.

Kazu looked troubled for a bit as he sat still for Keiko to clean him and remove the towel from around his shoulders.

“What’s wrong, Kazu?” she asked as she knelt in front of him, not minding the hairs on the floor and that she would get dirty.

“Sato-mama love Sato?”

“Yes, of course, I do,” she agreed with a small smile.

“And Mi and Sato-papa?”

“Yes.”

“Kazu-mama no nice. Hurt,” he murmured with a frown on his face. He hugged Momo closer to his body as tears came into his eyes.

“Don’t cry, Kazu,” Satoshi whined, but Keiko smiled as she picked the boy up to hug him and rock him in her arms. Satoshi robbed closer to them on his knees and patted his hair.

“Kazu-mama is no real mama!”

“No mama?”

Satoshi shook his head with a determined frown on his face, that brought a small smile on Keiko’s face.

“Mi-nee explained. All mama’s love their children and they don’t hurt others. Hurting other’s is bad, papa said so!”

“Kazu no mama? No papa. So Kazu alone?” he asked with a worried face, tears still on his face as he clung to Keiko with one hand and stared down at Satoshi with a distraught expression on his face. Keiko bit her lips as not to say anything. She wanted nothing more than to hug the little boy and tell him that everything was going to be okay. Still, Satoshi was looking so seriously and Kazu so hopefully at the boy that he somehow trusted from the very first moment so much that she didn’t want to intervene too much.

“Kazu baby. Baby can not alone,” Kazu said as he sobbed softly.

Satoshi shook his head as he stroke his hair softly with a hand. “Kazu is my brother now, ne mama?”

“Yes, we adopted him,” she agreed with a soft smile as she cleaned Kazu’s face carefully.

“What is?”

“Adoption? Did you forget, Kazu? Ne, we told you you will live with us now, ne? You are part of this family.”

Kazu frowned as he nodded. They had told him that multiple times now, but he only really understood that he was not going to live in that house with the many children anymore or the house with the doctors and scary things anymore.

He also won’t live with his mama anymore. That the scary doctors had already told him as he had been there. Because his mama hurt him and that was no good, just as Satoshi had explained now. But he didn’t understand what living here entitled.

“Kazu brother?”

“Yes, I’m Kazu’s big brother, and Mi-nee is your big sister. Mama and papa are also Kazu’s mama and papa now, right?” he explained again, looking at his mother. At least that was how his parents (and then again his sister when he had asked her one night) had explained it to him before they had brought Kazu today. That was why he was very, very excited about it.

Because Kazu was an adorable brother and he was going to be an even greater big brother! So that meant he needed to explain things to Kazu, so he had to listen more carefully to mama and papa and Mi-nee and later in school.

Kazu’s little mouth fell open at those words, and his eyes wandered over to Keiko with confused if even a bit hopeful eyes. “Sato-mama is Kazu-mama also?”

Keiko rubbed his cheeks softly as she nodded. “If you want me to, I would be very honoured to be your mama,” she agreed carefully. “But even if you don’t want to call me mama, you should know that you are in my heart,” she said with a smile as she took his hand and put it on her chest.

“Do you feel it beating?”

“Uhn, doki-doki,” he agreed with a smile on his face as he shuffled in her arms to be able to put his ear there as well and listen to the heartbeat for a moment.

“Can you hear it Kazu?” she asked, and he nodded silently. A thumb in his mouth as he sucked on it and calmed down very slowly. “It says I love and care about you very much. It wants you to be happy, Kazu.”

“Kazu listens,” he agreed. “Sound nice.”

“That’s good. Kazu are you feeling better?”

“Uhn,” he nodded again as he looked up with big eyes.

She smiled as she put him onto his feet again and ruffled his hair with his fingertips.

His eyes widened as he remembered his new haircut. The feeling of Keiko’s fingers in his hair was nice. Better than earlier.

“Sato look, look,” Kazu yelled as he pointed at his hair. “Short?”

“Very cute now,” Satoshi said with a small smile on his face as he ruffled his hair. “Do you want to look? Papa can lift you and show you in the mirror, ne mama?”

“Yes, go show your papa your new looks,” she agreed.

Kazu giggled as he nodded, jumping up and down in excitement. Then he ran over to Keiko though who bend down to be able to meet his hug around her neck.

“Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome, Kazu. Now off you go, you two. I need to clean this up, and if I remember correctly, you wanted to go to the swings?”

“Ah, yes! Kazu hurry before it gets dark. We are not allowed out if it gets dark,” Satoshi remembered with wide eyes. They were allowed sometimes when there were visitors over, but today there wasn’t, so he was sure that he had to go to bed after dinner.

They ran upstairs to Mamoru who made all the right noses as he saw their new haircuts and then agreed to take them out and push them on the swings, much to Satoshi’s delight.

Chapter Text

“Kazu, Satoshi, Mina dinner is ready,” Keiko called as she stood at the door to the garden. Mina had come down after she finished her homework, and the three started to play in the garden with a ball.

Mamoru sat on a chair on the patio where he could watch the three of them and intervene if needed. Luckily Mina and Satoshi got along very well and seldom got into a fight. The only problem was that Kazu wasn’t able to kick the ball as well as the other two at the beginning. So he started to get agitated and frustrated, short to a tantrum. Mamoru had calmed him down and then proposed to them to roll the ball on the floor with their hands instead of kicking them.

“Hungry, Kazu?” Mina asked as Satoshi jumped to his feet to bring the ball back to where it belonged. Kazu nodded as he stared with big eyes at the girl, who laughed as she held out her hands for him to grab.

Kazu giggled slightly as she pulled him up by his hands, making it sound very hard until he stood on his feet.

“Mama made curry because Satoshi begged her to do so. I hope you like curry, it’s Satoshi’s favourite, so mama makes it a lot,” she explained as they walked side by side inside.

“Kazu likes?” he questioned as he frowned. He ate whatever the people put in front of him, and he didn’t know what it was very often. Some things made his tummy hurt, and he tried not to eat it, but his mama got mad then, and at the house, with the many people they were supposed to eat whatever there was. Only the doctors had been nice if he hadn’t managed some things.

“You don’t know?”

Kazu shook his head his lips downward unhappily. “Kazu stupid,” he whined.

“No, Kazu is not stupid,” Mina said as she ruffled his hair. “None of my brothers are stupid. But if you don’t know yet you can find out now ne? Mama’s curry is delicious. It’s mild and yummy. And if you don’t like it, you tell mama, and then next time she will make something else for you.”

“Eat all, angry.”

“Nobody will be angry, I promise. Satoshi doesn’t like carrots. So mama lets him pick them out of his food, but we have to try them first.”

Kazu nodded, still a bit insecure as they arrived at the door where Satoshi was rocking on his feet with a happy smile.

“Kazu food!” he cheered. “Yummy food. But first, we have to wash our hands.”

“And face,” Keiko reminded Satoshi since they all had streaks of dirt on their faces.

Satoshi frowned a bit unhappily, but then he nodded as he took Kazu’s free hand and together they went to the bathroom to clean up before returning for the kitchen.

“Kazu, look this will be your chair,” Keiko said, picking him up under his arms to swing him around and then put him on the children’s chair as Kazu giggled happily. She put a plate in front of him and ruffled his hair.

“Like rice,” Kazu realised as he stared at his plate. He didn’t remember if he had the rest at least once. He frowned as he bit his lips as he moved his legs on the chair.

“That’s great. You can try the curry with it or just eat the rice,” Keiko said. She had put the rice and curry on separate parts of the plate because she didn’t know what he liked. And Mina had always been a meagre eater, meaning that she sometimes didn’t like eating food that was mixed.

Satoshi didn’t care, but still, she had always put everything separate for him to try first and now she would do the same for this little boy. She put tea beside his plate so that he could drink and sat down after she was sure that everybody had a plate in front of them.

“Thank you for the food,” the others said, and he hurried to do the same. He didn’t want to get scolded.

He took the spoon in his right hand, frowning deeply as it always was a bit hard to handle anything that way. He put the food in his mouth, munching slightly. “Taste good,” he cheered after he had eaten a bit of the curry with the rice.

“That’s good,” Keiko said softly as she continued to eat.

“Look Satoshi, Kazu even likes the carrots,” Mina teased the boy who pouted and had to work very hard as not to stick out his tongue into her direction. His parents didn’t like that.

Still, he grinned happily at Kazu. “I told you, mama is the best!” he said as he frowned and carefully picked out the carrots of his curry and put it on an extra bowl that his mother had already placed beside his seat. His father and Mina would eat them, he knew that, but he had still tried to eat them, of course.

But he just didn’t like them. Kazu ate his food slowly until he was full and then bit his lip as he wriggled in his seat. He had always been told that he should be thankful for the food given to him and finish it always.

“I’m full mama,” Mina said then suddenly and pushed the plate to the middle of the table. Kazu’s eyes widened as he stared at the still quarterly full plate.

“Okay, sweetheart. Stay at the table until we are finished though, okay?”

“Yup,” Mina said with a small sigh as she leant back and made grimaces to Kazu beside her, who watched her still with big eyes but started to giggle at the funny faces she made.

“Kazu do you want to eat more or is your tummy full?” Keiko asked then. Kazu looked up with big eyes and then very carefully shook his head.

“Tummy full,” he almost whispered. “But food good.”

“I’m glad you liked it,” she said as she took the plate away and rubbed his cheek with her thumb. He giggled happily before looking back at Mina who started to play a small, almost silent games with him. He blinked in surprise as Mamoru ruffled his hair and set him down on the floor.

“Your plates to the sink,” he explained as he handed them over. He nodded and put them on the counter for which he needed to stand on his toes and then followed the other two children to the living room to look at a picture book. He was feeling drowsy slowly after playing all day outside.

It didn’t take long before Mamoru stepped into the living room with a smile. “Satoshi, Kazu let’s take a bath?”

“Yes!” Satoshi cried out happily. He liked taking a bath because he could play with the water and the suds. Kazu stood a bit more slowly and frowned as he clung to Satoshi for a bit. He was nervous about the bath time since he really didn’t like that.

Mamoru smiled as he carried him up to the bath where he had already filled the tub. Satoshi took off his clothes without his help and then walked over to the small space where they could wash and wash away the suds before stepping into the tub.

Kazu clung to Mamoru as they were inside, his thumb in his mouth as he was already nervous. Mamoru talked softly to him as he helped him to take off the clothes and sat him down on a small stool close to Satoshi who was wringing out a washcloth as he sang a washing song about all body parts that needed to be cleaned.

Kazu stared at his new brother in wonder, but slowly he couldn’t help himself as he relaxed under Satoshi’s natural way of doing things. Mamoru’s cautious hands as he helped him to wash his body with a second washcloth (or more likely third since he had given Kazu one to try and copy Satoshi while he was running the cloth over all the parts that Kazu couldn’t reach).

Satoshi giggled as he sat on the floor beside them. “Papa water!” he demanded. “The water bucket to wash all dirt away, yes?”

Mamoru rolled his eyes with a smile. “First we should do your hair,” he said before kneeling, and Satoshi moved around with a happy laugh. Mamoru showed Kazu how to wash Satoshi’s hair, and Kazu giggled when he was allowed to help, which was no more than playing with the strands of his hair with his fingers.

“Now close your eyes,” Mamoru warned his son who did as he was told and even held his hands in front of his face, but he was still giggling as Mamoru filled the bucked and emptied it on top Ohno who shrieked. Kazu winced but was surprised to see that Satoshi was still laughing as he got up, and Mamoru lifted him into the warm water of the tub.

“No bucket,” Kazu whined, and Mamoru smiled as he knelt beside him again.

“We don’t need to use a bucket. Don’t worry, we’ll be very careful that nothing goes into your eyes,” he explained as he took the showerhead and put it on a low spray to wash away the soap from Kazu’s body. Kazu was shivering slightly as he was still very nervous about it.

But Mamoru was careful so that in the end he even managed a small smile as the man was finished and put him into the tub, skipping the hair washing since it was not that necessary if it meant that Kazu was still a bit more relaxed. He sat in front of the tub where Satoshi was trying to make Kazu smile as he moved his favourite rubber duck around. In the end, he pulled it under the water, moving his hands more closely to the other before letting go.

Kazu startled slightly as the duck shot from the water, his eyes wide. He giggled at his shock and started to play with the rubber duck as Satoshi took his boat from the side and moved it around on the water. Mamoru smiled as he began to tell a little story and poured a bit of water over the boys’ shoulders so that they won’t get told. It was his and Satoshi’s way to spend the evening, and now it would, of course, include Kazu.

Kazu listened carefully, and just when the story ended, Keiko knocked at the door, telling them it was time to get out of the bath. Mamoru pulled Kazu out of the water and dried him in a big soft towel.

“Feel nice,” Kazu said as he almost snuggled into the towel, hiding a small yawn.

“Sleepy, Kazu?”

“Uhn sleepy Kazu,” Kazu agreed as he rubbed his eyes. Mamoru smiled as he helped him into a pyjama.

“Then say goodnight to Satoshi, mh?” he said with a smile. He held Kazu by his hips so that Satoshi just needed to stretch a bit to press a kiss on Kazu’s cheek.

“Nighty, night, Kazu.”

“Nighty,” Kazu agreed, hugging Mamoru around the neck, who told Satoshi to be careful as he carried the boy out to hand him over to Keiko who was waiting for them.

“Night, Kazu. Sleep well,” Mamoru whispered, ruffling his hair. Kazu nodded and very shyly kissed the man’s cheek, giggling at the funny feeling. He hid his face shortly after at Keiko’s shoulder and held her tightly.

Keiko smiled as she caressed his hair and brought him to his room. He looked around curiously as she put him on a children’s bed.

“There is a night-light, Kazu. It’s a panda because you said you like them, ne?”

“Cute,” Kazu said as he looked at the light with a happy smile. He didn’t like all dark. That was scary.

Keiko caressed his cheek and hair as she put him into the bed carefully and kissed his forehead. “Good night, Kazu. Do you remember where my and Mamoru’s bedroom is?”

Kazu nodded as he hugged Momo again, who Keiko had already put beside his cushion.

“Good, if you wake in the night or the morning and something is scary, or you are lonely you can come to us, okay?”

“Okay.”

Kazu watched her as she dimmed the lights and then turned on a turtle, that played soft music and made stars appear on the ceiling. He stared at the stars with wide eyes and a happy smile.

“I like.”

“They are beautiful ne?”

“Uhn,” Kazu said as he laid back to look comfortably at the ceiling and the beautiful stars, before looking at Keiko.

“Sato-mama nice.”

“I’m glad you think so.”

“Sato-papa also.”

She nodded as she sat down beside him on the bed. His fingers were still in his hair, and he sighed happily at the pleasant feeling. He felt sleepy and yawned widely, making her chuckle.

His eyes closed as he hugged Momo more tightly and snuggled into the nice soft blankets. He liked his things here. They were all very soft and warm and smelled very good.

“Sleepy-bye, mama,” he muttered as he fell to sleep. Keiko smiled softly wiping his cheeks as she made sure that he was warm and safe before she kissed his hair.

“Good night and only the best of dreams, my sweet child,” she whispered. Her heart full with the trust that the boy gave her whole family.

A/N: The first day is done xD So I won’t need (hopefully) three chapters for the other days that are to come XDD but the first day was somehow especially crucial for this story.

Chapter Text

“No! Please! Kazu good. Kazu sorry. No hurt!”

Keiko was up in a second as she could hear the cries coming from the room besides their bedroom. They had decided to give Kazu the room beside them so that they could hear whenever he was in trouble. Originally Keiko had wanted to install the children’s bed in their room, but Kazu had gotten used to not sleep with adults in the hospital and they wanted to make him get used to his room soon so that he would feel comfortable enough there to take a break whenever needed.

She ran to the room to pick up the thrashing boy in the bed, ignoring the hits she got from him as she started to rock him in her arms. She had been surprised that they were able to sleep through the night but then again, Kazu had been very exhausted after the day yesterday.

“Baby mine, don’t you cry. Baby mine, dry your eyes. Rest your head close to my heart, never to part, baby of mine,” she started to sing continuing the song softly until Kazu had calmed down, his head on her chest and she swayed them both softly from side to side, as she placed him more comfortably on her lap sideways.

“Badam…Badam,” he whispered, his thumb stuck in between his lips sucking at it softly.

“Yes, that’s right,” she smiled as he visibly relaxed with a deep sigh.

Keiko rubbed his back as she felt how Kazu started shivering and kissed the top of his head. “All awake now?”

“Uhn, stay with?”

“Yes, you can stay with me,” she whispered as she got to her feet, him still firmly in her arms. “We should get ready for the day, ne? We can make a big breakfast for the rest.”

“Me help?” he asked with big wondrous eyes and she nodded with a chuckle.

“Of course. One can never start early enough to help in the household. Especially if they want. I would never force you ne? But if you want to help you are always very welcome.”

Kazu giggled happily at the promise and hid his face at her neck for a bit as she carried him to the bathroom, to change his sweaty clothes and throw away the used diaper. It was just for during the nights and mostly until Keiko was sure that Kazu would not beat himself up for wetting himself during the nights, but she wanted to get rid of it as soon as possible as she could sense that Kazu was not that comfortable wearing it.

“What do you want for breakfast?” she asked as she helped him brush his teeth and then held her arms open for him. “Arms or do you want to walk?”

“Arms,” Kazu decided. He felt very comfortable in her warm arms and wanted to have that feel for as long as possible.

“And do you know what you like to eat?”

Kazu shook his head as he sighed softly. He scrunched up his nose cutely since he was not used at being asked what he wanted. If they had sweets each child was allowed to pick one out of a bag but that was all.

“Oh, how about we check the fridge together and you point on things that you like?”

“What Sato?”

“What Satoshi likes? He likes almost everything,” Keiko laughed. “He is fond of Japanese breakfast. Shall we do that? With eggs, rice, soup and a bit of fish?”

“Uhn,” Kazu nodded. “Rice good.”

“True,” Keiko agreed at she opened the fridge to let him peek into it. She could feel him stiffen for a moment before his mouth fell open.

“All full?”

“Of course, there are many hungry tummies to feed.”

Kazu nodded as he bit on his finger. “Always food?”

“Yes, there is always food for you available. If you are ever hungry you just have to ask, right?”

“Only food time.”

Keiko sighed as she shook her head and stroke his hair. “No, not only during meals but all days. If you play a lot you get hungry. Some days you might not be that hungry at mealtime but hungry later and then you can have a snack. Also, if you don’t like something you can leave it. But I would like you to try everything.”

“No extra!” Kazu said as he shook his head.

“Here there is always space for wishes or extras,” she promised as she kissed his cheek. She sighed when she felt him start shivering once more and scanned the fridge for the medicine she got for Kazu from the orphanage.

His body was still suffering withdrawal symptoms and never had Keiko wanted to hurt a person as much as the mother of this little boy in her arms. She had planned to maybe feed him first and get him comfortable but she didn’t want for her little boy to suffer.

“Kazu let’s get your medicine, ne? And then you still need to choose at least one thing you want to eat out of here, okay?”

“Okay,” Kazu said as he grabbed her neck tightly. “Tummy hurt.”

“I know, sweetie. This will make it better,” she promised as she carefully counted the drops on a spoon and fed the medicine to Kazu.

The boy grimaced softly as he shuddered almost violently. He didn’t like the medicine but he had already learnt that he felt so much better when he took it then if he didn’t.

Keiko rubbed his back softly before he relaxed once more, his head dropping on top of her shoulder and allowing the woman to hold him with one hand. She took the things for breakfast out slowly and Kazu pointed at the cucumber and after a bit of hesitation to the blueberries.

Keiko smiled as she kissed the top of his head as she took both out as well as the bell pepper for Satoshi because he liked them and put everything on the counter. She bopped Kazu’s nose softly with a grin.

“Do you want to play or help?”

“Help,” Kazu decided promptly. He was a bit proud that Keiko thought he would be able to help so of course, he wanted to do that.

Keiko smiled as she put him on the counter, looking at him sternly. “Don’t move too much. I don’t want you to fall, alright?”

“Okay,” Kazu agreed as he watched her turn around to bring his high chair closer to the counter. He made a noise of surprise when with a few movements she made a stand for him that was surrounded by rails in the height of his waist when he was lifted in so that he could reach the counter with ease but wouldn’t be able to fall from the stand. She grinned at his look of wonder and started to prepare the breakfast.

Kazu was allowed to swirl the rice in the water bowl as she brought it over and to stir the egg mixture before she would pour it into a heated pan. For the soup, he could pour in a spoonful of dashi powder in a big pot and stir it again, while Keiko cut the vegetables in snack able sizes and marinated the fish to cook it when the rest was up. She took the pot to put on the heat before taking a new knife and standing behind him.

“This we cut together, okay?”

“Danger?” he asked as she hummed and put the tofu in front of Kazu. She handed him the knife and put her hands on top of his.

“Not if we do it together and be very careful with our fingers. You know knives are sharp, right?”

“Uhn hurt.”

“They can hurt if you cut yourself. That’s why we need to be very careful. So we do it together.”

Kazu nodded as he watched Keiko cutting the tofu together with him. He grinned proudly as that was finished and she helped him down again after cleaning his hands.

“See you were a very big help, Kazu.”

“Kazu help!” he agreed with a grin and clapped his hands as he jumped up and down.

“Yup. And now you can help me again.”

He nodded with big eyes, watching her curiously. “I will set the table and put the hot things on there as well and you go upstairs to wake the rest?”

“Kazu wake?”

“Yes, it’s time for breakfast and time for them to get up or they’ll sleep away the whole day.”

“They mad?”

“Never would they be mad with you for waking them. They will all cuddle with you for a bit probably before they stand up. So you need to be firm and make them stand up, tell them breakfast is ready.”

“Uhn,” Kazu nodded as he got up a bit undecided. He stared at the door where Mamoru was probably still sleeping first, before squaring his shoulders and stepping inside.

Sato-mama had said that waking them was okay. And they had told him to come if he needed anything during the dark time. So Sato-papa won’t be mad. (besides this was the only door that was at least slightly open and Kazu couldn’t exactly reach any doorknobs.)

He crawled closer to Mamoru on the low bed and carefully shook his arm. “Up! Sato-papa, up! Bright out.”

Mamoru opened his eyes as he had already heard the boy when he had entered the room with a smile as he hugged him. “Good morning,” he said as he tickled Kazu who giggled as he wriggled on top of him.

“No Cuddle. Sato-Mama food. Kazu help.”

“Oh, you prepared breakfast already?”

“With ma… Sato-mama.”

“Then we can’t cuddle just yet. You’re right,” he said as he tickled him again. “But you need to wear your slippers ne? Aren’t your feet cold?”

Kazu stared down at himself and wriggled his toes at the question. He hadn’t realised since Keiko had carried him mostly and the kitchen had been warm. The tiles had been cold though.

Mamoru grinned as he touched the wriggling toes. “Freezing. Fast, we need to get you slippers,” he said as he swung him in his arms as he stood. Kazu shouted as he laughed while Mamoru carried him over to his room where his slippers had been abandoned.

“Sato and Mi. Up!”

“Yes, let’s wake them,” he agreed as held Kazu up to open the door to Satoshi’s room and run over to the bed. He climbed onto the bed and landed halfway on top of Satoshi as he shook him as well to wake him up.

Satoshi grumbled as he put his arms around the boy to snuggle with him. “Sleepy.”

“No sleep. Up, food. Kazu help. Sato-mama food. Tummy speak.” Kazu struggled to sit up and ended poking Satoshi’s cheek until the older boy opened his eyes. He grumbled again but then he grinned as he hugged him even closer.

“Teddy bear.”

“Kazu no teddy. Kazu is Kazu! Kazu food.”

Satoshi giggled at his words but then nodded as he ruffled his hair. “Kazu is Kazu, right. And I’m hungry.”

Kazu giggled as he was picked up by Mamoru again. “Kazu wake.”

“Kazu is very good at waking people up. Do you want to wake up Mina too?”

“Yes.”

Mamoru grinned as he helped Satoshi climb out of the bed. “I will join you in the bath in a bit. Choose some clothes?”

Satoshi nodded as he walked over to the three options his mother had put out yesterday night. He rubbed his eyes with a small yawn as he picked out one from each pile as well as underwear and walked out again. In the bath, he put it all to the side and dragged a small step over to the basin to wash his face and hands as his parents had taught him when Mamoru and Mina came in as well to get ready.

Mina had climbed onto Mina’s bed and shook her awake as well. The girl had grinned since she had already woken up by the commotion of the others a bit earlier.

“Good morning,” she greeted Kazu and kissed both of his cheeks much to his delight as he allowed her as well to hug him for a moment, before telling her that breakfast was ready.

Now he was standing at the doorway peering in carefully. “Kazu good?” he asked as Mamoru looked at him.

“Kazu was very good,” Mamoru said with a smile as he turned the sand clock so that Satoshi and Mina could check if they brushed their teeth for long enough.

“Kazu can wake us up each morning,” he promised. “And if he sleeps longer we’ll wake you up, okay?”

“Okay,” Kazu said carefully, with a small smile. He turned around to run down again and came to a stop in the middle of the kitchen.

“All up. Kazu wake. All wash.”

“Oh my what a great helper I have now,” Keiko said as she smoothed down his hair. She helped him into his chair and put a cup of tea in front of him together with a few pieces of cucumber. “Your tummy is all growly. Better eat something before they come down, okay?”

“Okay,” Kazu agreed as he held his stomach for a moment, before starting to eat as he felt really hungry now. He grinned happily when the others came down and sat around them. Keiko served the full breakfast and they all said their thanks.

After breakfast, Satoshi and Kazu ran off to play in the living room with some of Satoshi’s toys and Mina agreed to help her parents to clean up the table.

Chapter Text

The next few days started in a similar way. With Kazu waking up early, often crying or shouting because of bad dreams. Keiko often got up in the mornings to calm the boy down and then start the day together with him. They would get ready in the bathroom with Kazu, before going into his bedroom again to choose clothes for the day together.

“So many,” Kazu mumbled again as they stood in front of the wardrobe that was installed in his room. Keiko smiled as she held him carefully. Many things were from Satoshi who had grown too big and she hadn’t gotten around of getting rid of them yet. But they weren’t torn and Kazu seemed to prefer the soft washed out texture of the clothes to the newly bought one they had also bought when it was clear they were going to adopt.

Keiko wasn’t sure why that was but for now, it was completely fine for her.

“Yes, all yours now,” she agreed, smiling when a look of wonder came over Kazu again at the thought that he owned so many things now.

Kazu stared at the things as Keiko pulled a few clothes out and put him down to allow him to choose from them. Kazu touched each item for a moment before choosing a jeans trousers and a mustard coloured shirt. Keiko ruffled his hair as she also took a sweater for later and helped Kazu to change clothes.

“Do you want to go to Mamoru and cuddle with him or help with breakfast?”

Kazu tilted his head as he thought about it with a frown on his face. Some days he liked to help and some he wanted to spend a bit more time with Mamoru. Sometimes even Satoshi came to the bed and they all laid down together until Keiko called them.

“Sato-papa,” he decided then.

She nodded as she bopped his nose. “Good, any wishes for breakfast?”

“Bananas?” he asked shyly. He still wasn’t used to be asked so often about his preferences but slowly he learnt that Keiko would smile and nod whenever he mumbled something.

“Okay. Now off you go. I’ll call you when breakfast is ready,” she promised.

He grinned a bit as he scuttled off to run into his parent’s bedroom. Mamoru was already up and smiled down to him as he came over to climb onto the bed with his hands.

“Good morning, Kazu.”

“Morning,” Kazu agreed as he climbed onto his lap and smiled when the older man embraced him.

“Didn’t you bring Momo today?”

Kazu shook his head as he looked up. “Momo sleep.”

“Oh, I see. How did you sleep Kazu?”

Kazu frowned at the question and bit his lip. “Bad voices,” he said with a small whine in his voice. Mamoru nodded as he swayed him softly in his arms.

“Sounds not good, but now we can snuggle ne? And then later we’ll take a walk. We can watch the flowers again.”

“Flower nice,” Kazu agreed with a smile. “Colours.”

“Yes, many flowers. Do you remember which colour you liked best in the flowers.”

Kazu frowned a bit as he tried to remember all the colours Satoshi had named. “Red!”

Mamoru grinned as he nodded. “How many were there again? I can’t remember?”

“One, two, three…” Kazu counted at his fingers and then showed to full hands at him. “That many.”

Mamoru made a loud sound as if he just remembered and then tickled the little boy who dissolved in giggles at that. “True, you liked the poppies the best. There were a lot of them on the path we followed.”

Kazu nodded with bright eyes. “Poppy,” he agreed, giggling again when Mamoru squeezed him tight.

There was a call from Keiko and they both fell silent, looking at each other. “Can you hear mama call us?”

“Uhn. Food.”

“Yup. Since we are still alone this means the rest is still asleep. Do you want to wake them?”

“Mi-nee sleeping?”

“Yes, today is no school,” Mamoru agreed. Mina was often up early as well because of school and Keiko mostly woke her up with Kazu when they were finished in the bathroom. That way Mina had enough time to get ready and Kazu had the chance to say goodbye to her after they had breakfast together. Something that helped him a lot to not panic when the girl was not at home suddenly like the very first time when Mina had run out without telling them all goodbye since she was running late.

Mamoru always had to be at work around ten am and by that time everybody was already up and running.

“Kazu wake,” he agreed then. Mamoru carried him over to his siblings’ rooms to allow Kazu to wake them all with a hug and a kiss before the three went to the bathroom and Kazu ran down to Keiko.

“Ma… Sa,” he cried out happily before stopping short. He frowned a bit unhappy as he more often than not slipped up. Sato-mama was just so long and Keiko was to him like all the mommies in their stories and… He really wished to have a mama like that.

“What’s wrong, sweetie?” Keiko asked as she picked him up. “Does your tummy hurt?”

Kazu shook his head but then he halfway nodded with a frustrated sigh. His stomach did hurt already again. But he knew that he was okay and that the sweet drops he had to take twice a day would make it go away.

“Not all, that’s troubling you,” Keiko then said and he nodded. “But first you take the medicine and then you can try to tell me?”

“Uhn,” Kazu agreed as he opened his lips to take the spoonful. He licked his lips and leant against her. She smiled as she carefully threaded her fingers through his hair until the slight paleness in his face was gone and the pasty look in his eyes as well. It was good that Kazu sometimes didn’t realise how he got worse. That meant they finally had the timing and amount of medicine under control, but of course, that meant that she and Mamoru had to be doubly careful.

“Are you feeling better?”

Kazu nodded carefully but then he turned around to be able to look at her with big serious eyes. Keiko bit her lips as to not giggle because she could see this was important to the little boy.

“You are Sato mama?”

“Yes,” she said. “As well as Mina’s mother.”

He nodded as he bit his lips. He took a shuddering breath and gripped his fingers tightly. She carefully ran her fingers along his side to keep him calm because she didn’t want him to hurt himself.

Kazu had his brows furrowed as he moved his lips for a few times as if to prepare for what he was going to say. Then he stared at her again, still very nervous looking but also kind of cutely determined. “You Kazu mama now too?” he stumbled a bit over his own words and there was an unhappy frown on his face. “No Sato-mama? Say, mama? I can?”

Keiko carefully lifted her hand to caress his warm cheek. She did it very slowly since the little boy in front of her looked frightened and the last thing she wanted was to make him think that she would hurt him in any way.

“Of course. I would be very happy if you call me mama as well, ne? You are my sweet child, baby mine,” she whispered as she hugged him tightly.

She rocked the boy in her arms when his arms snaked around her neck as sobs wrecked the little body. “You are home now. A forever home with a mama, a papa and a brother and sister,” she whispered as he cried on her shoulder whispering ‘mama’ again and again.

She looked up when there was a small sound from the doorway and saw the confused gazes of her children with the worried look of Mamoru.

“It’s fine,” she whispered as she pointed to the table for the other three to sit and carried the boy outside so that he could calm down without curious eyes. She knew that Mamoru would be able to handle the other two and their questions now.

It took a while until Kazu had calmed down again and she moved his face back a little bit. She smiled as she cleaned the wet face and helped him to blow his nose.

“Shall we eat, Kazu?” she asked then.

“Tummy growly,” Kazu agreed. She smiled and carried him to the kitchen where the rest was. He hid his face shyly at Keiko’s neck when they entered and he felt all eyes on him.

“No need to be shy, Kazu,” she said softly.

“Kazu sorry,” he pressed out.

Satoshi grinned as he held out his hand and waved. “Crying is good, not a bad thing, right? I cry also because I love mama so much!”

“Yeah, Satoshi is a crybaby,” Mina teased.

“I’m not a baby!”

“You are.”

“Am not. I’m a big brother,” he pouted. Mamoru rolled his eyes.

“No fights at the table. Mina, stop teasing your brother, Satoshi, try and not get upset at the teasing of your sister.”

Satoshi pouted and stuck out his tongue to his sister who did the same. “

“I’m not a baby,” he repeated and Mina rolled her eyes, but finally nodded.

“But you cry, a lot.”

“Mama says crying is okay!”

Keiko sighed as she put her hand on Satoshi’s head to ruffle his hair and put Kazu down who was looking from one to the other.

“And it is,” she agreed.

Mina giggled but then she nodded when it was clear that Satoshi was now earnestly upset. “Of course it’s fine. It’s cute,” she said then. Now eat your breakfast so that you will grow even stronger,” she advised.

Satoshi looked at the rest of his cornflakes and then nodded. “I will grow strong and big and protect Kazu!” he decided.

Kazu giggled softly when the milk splashed as Satoshi let the spoon almost crash into his bowl.

Keiko prepared a new portion of warm porridge with banana and dark chocolate pieces for Kazu and put the bowl in front of the boy. Kazu’s eyes sparkled at the sight and he started to eat it soon after. Warm food was always better for him to stomach and a bit of sweetness would be the best after how upset he had been, she thought. And even if she wasn’t fond of throwing food out today was an exception.

“After breakfast, you three can go and play in the living room or do your homework,” Mamoru said as he drank his coffee and made sure that the spill from Satoshi was soaked up. “While your mama and I will clean up here. Afterwards, we will go for a walk and visit your grandparents,” he said with a small smile at the cheers of the elder two children and the little confused frown on Kazu’s face at that.

“Poppies?”

“Yes, we’ll watch the poppies again,” Mamoru promised, making Kazu smile happily. The rest he didn’t know yet, but he would learn. And Mamoru, as well as Keiko, had agreed for Kazu to meet the rest of his new family one after the other as to not overwhelm him too much, too soon. But since everybody was so curious to meet him they needed to start with that already (especially since they would feel more comfortable if Kazu knew them if it was needed that one of them had to babysit).

A/N: This chapter was meant to be about the visit mostly… But it already got too long as it is… This is evolving into a monster. Sorry, I hope you enjoy it and it’s not too boring. Just because I like writing such uneventful things doesn’t mean it’s enjoyable to read it

Chapter Text

Kazu wandered beside Satoshi over the paths leading to their grandparents' house. Satoshi knew the path already well because they walked it often on weekends. He looked forward to being allowed wandering there on his own. Mina was already allowed to do so, but Satoshi had to be with his parents, grandparents or his big sister, which was unfair. He wanted to go there alone! His grandmother made the best cakes.

Kazu stopped, tugging softly at Satoshi’s hand as he wandered over to the side and leant down as he finally found his favourite flowers. His eyes were wide as he touched the soft, see-through petals of the poppy, smiling happily as they stayed on the flower.

“They are pretty, right?” Satoshi asked the boy who nodded with a bright grin.

“Look pr… nice,” he decided after he had frowned for a while since he couldn’t form that word in his mouth that Satoshi had used. It was too hard to pronounce just now.

“Papa says we can’t take them because then they die too fast,” Satoshi said with an unhappy frown on his face. Otherwise, he would try to get some for Kazu to take with him to his room.

“No die!” Kazu cried out and Satoshi nodded.

“We let them here ne? Until they go on their own and then next year there will be new ones.”

Kazu nodded as he stared at the flowers for a bit longer before he got to his feet and ran after Keiko and Mamoru who had already continued on their path. He held Satoshi’s hand tightly, who giggled as he ran beside him, being careful as to not being too fast for the boy. He didn’t want Kazu to hurt himself and he didn’t want to see him fall because of him. He was sure that his mother would scold him then as well.

“Sato?”

“Yes, Kazu?”

“What grand…” Kazu furrowed his brows before he put the parents behind it, looking quite proud that he had managed to pronounce the word the right way.

“What they are?”

“Yes,” he said with a nod and bright eyes.

“They are mama’s mama and papa. They are very nice. Grandma always has cakes or cookies and we are allowed to eat as many until our stomach hurts. And they make great hot chocolate and pancakes. Better than mama.”

“Mama food good,” Kazu disagreed. The food that Keiko made for him was the best so far he had ever eaten. It was always the perfect temperature and didn’t burn his tongue. And it tasted good and didn’t make his tummy go funny or hurt.

“It is,” Satoshi agreed with the boy. He would never say that his mother’s food was bad. But some things were the best from his grandmother. “But those are the best from grandma. I promise,” he said with a small grin. “You’ll see.”

Kazu nodded and nibbled at his lower lip as he followed the others a bit more reluctantly.

“Like Kazu?”

“Everybody will like Kazu. Because Kazu is very cute and nice,” Satoshi said as he swung their hands together. He grinned at him happily as he skipped beside him.

“No all.” Kazu looked at him a bit sadly. He was not so sure if his mother liked him or his father. Since they hadn’t been nice to him. Not as nice as Keiko at least. He followed Satoshi more slowly as he stared at the floor with furrowed brows. He felt slightly bad now and wanted to go home.

Satoshi bit his lips as Kazu stopped walking and started rocking on his feet. He did that when he didn’t feel well. Satoshi didn’t know what happened then but it was always one sign that Kazu would start to cry or even hurt himself. “Mama!” he called out, making the adults stop and turn around.

Keiko looked confused for only a second before she let go of Mamoru and came forward to scoop the boy up in her arms. Kazu flinched first but then he realised that it was Keiko who got him and not the monsters that had slipped up into his mind. He hid his face against her shoulder and sniffled softly.

He didn’t cry but then he relaxed in her arms. Keiko pressed her lips against his head and carried him to the others as they continued their walk. He sighed, relaxing softly and closed his eyes as he put his head more comfortably on her shoulder. He nibbled at his thumb as he watched Satoshi and Mina run in front of them now.

“Kazu what happened?”

“Sato lie.”

“How did Satoshi lie?” Mamoru asked with a frown. His son normally didn’t lie but he supposed that it was something that Kazu misunderstood.

“Say all like I,” Kazu mumbled around his thumb as he frowned. “No right.”

“That’s not really a lie though,” Keiko said with a smile. “For Satoshi, it is the only thing that makes sense. For him, he likes you so much that it makes no sense that people don’t like you. He didn’t say it to be mean, ne?”

Kazu nodded with big eyes. “Kazu like Sato,” he then said. “Sato most nice.”

“Some people also don’t like Satoshi,” Keiko explained, chuckling as the little mouth fell open in surprise and he looked at her with big eyes. “It’s true. It’s normal for us not to be liked by all people. But it’s enough if the important people like you.”

Kazu nodded with big eyes as he sighed. “Mama like?”

“I love you very much, as does your papa.”

“Grandparents?”

“They will love you as well. Don’t worry. Do you want to pick some flowers for them?”

“No die?”

“Huh?”

“Poppies die.”

“Ah yes, because they are so fragile. They are not easily picked. But if you chose some other flowers with your siblings they will keep up for a bit longer. But Kazu, all flowers die in the end, just to be reborn. You just have to be careful as to not pull out the roots.”

“Kazu want. Grand happy?”

“Yes, they like flowers very much. Especially if they are very colourful,” Keiko promised as she kissed him again on the cheek. He grinned and nodded then. She let him down on the floor again and he ran up to the other two children and told them about picking the flowers. Keiko sighed as she watched him go, smiling when Mamoru put his arm around her waist.

“You did well.”

“He didn’t lose himself this time. I’m glad. I feared we would have to go back home. Satoshi and Mina love their grandparents and would’ve been very disappointed and unhappy.”

“Mhm…” Mamoru hummed as he kissed her temple. “But they are good kids. They understand that he still needs time.”

“The question is: how long will they accept that they have to be more careful with him around?”

“We will make sure that they’ll all be fine,” Mamoru said in the end and she nodded thankfully. She hoped that it would be like that.

“Mama look!” Kazu cried suddenly walking over with his hands full of flowers. “Mi, Sato. I gift!”

“Oh beautiful,” she cooed as she ruffled his hair. “They will love them. And we are almost there. Only this corner,” she said.

The children cheered and Keiko held Kazu’s hand as the other two ran away to run to the garden and greet their grandparents with loud happy voices. Kazu hid halfway behind Keiko as the other adults appeared and greeted them with smiles. “Kazu don’t be shy,” Keiko whispered and pushed him to the front.

Kazu was shivering slightly and for a moment Keiko was not sure if this hadn’t been too early. Still, he stepped out from his hideout behind her legs and held the flowers out to the old woman in front of them. She had a very nice smile, he thought. It reminded him a little bit of Satoshi and Keiko, but still, he was so used to getting told that he was just trouble and should get lost.

“Are those for me?” she asked and he nodded.

“Gift,” he said slightly almost stumbling over that simple word and in his haste to offer them to her he almost fell to his knees. But Mamoru was behind him, steadying him with a warm hand on his shoulders.

“Oh, they look wonderful. Thank you, Kazunari. Let’s go inside? I prepared hot chocolate for you and a nice cake. Your mama told me you like strawberries and bananas?”

“Uhn,” he said, smiling shyly as she took the flowers and made a show of sniffing them with a hum, again praising him how beautiful they were. He almost forgot that Satoshi and Mina had helped him picking them as he was just happy that she was still smiling.

“Grandma, is grandpa inside?”

“Yes, he brought out the wooden figures for you to play with. He told something about a battalion?” she said to Satoshi who cheered and ran inside. The woman chuckled as she offered Kazu her hand. “Let’s head inside? We will show grandpa the beautiful flowers you brought.”

Kazu stared at her hand for a long time, wondering if it was safe, but she didn’t falter once and in the end, he put his hand to hers, smiling when he could feel the warm, wrinkled skin against his own. It felt different from Keiko’s but somehow even more familiar.

Inside Satoshi’s grandfather greeted them and praised the flowers as well, making Kazu’s heart swell at how honestly happy they looked from that little gift. He watched the woman put them into a nice looking vase.

Then he was led to the table, making big eyes at the creamy cake with strawberries on top of it, cheering loudly when he got a big slice on a plate and discovered chocolate chips and banana slices inside. “All for Kazu?”

“Yes, of course. Eat as much as you can,” she grinned and he nodded happily. He still was not used to having food all the time, and Keiko sometimes had to take him to the fridge just to show him that there was still food inside to calm him down, but it was better slowly.

“Yummy,” he cheered, smiling when the adults chuckled as Satoshi climbed on a chair beside him, opening his mouth for a taste before giggling as he got his slice of cake put in front of him. They ate in silence and Kazu relaxed around them quite easily and ended up calling them grampa and momma. Pet names that the elderly people accepted easily.

On their way back home Kazu very carefully hugged one of the wooden horses that he had liked and played with, mostly on the side because he hadn’t understood the big scheme of Satoshi with his grandfather but he had fun. At home he very carefully but it on the small children’s desk in his room, smiling happily as he looked around. On the bed rested Momo his ever first gift and on the shelf beside it was the toy car that Satoshi had given him when he had moved in here, now it was accompanied by the horse.

Chapter Text

“Mama, papa wake up!” Satoshi shouted happily as he hopped into the bedroom of his parents. He jumped on the bed, hugging his parents giggling when Mamoru tickled him until he was out of breath.

“What is it?” Mamoru asked feigning confusion at his excited very awake son. Satoshi pouted for a second but he couldn’t hold it up as he was just too excited.

“First school day. I’m big now. I’m smart now,” he grinned, giggling happily.

“Oh, so fast? Where has my little boy gone?” Mamoru teased, looking at the watch on his nightstand, seeing that it was way too early to even think about getting ready for school.

“All grown up now,” Satoshi grinned. “I’m smart right? I can all hiragana already and I write my name really nicely in hiragana and kanji. Mama taught me. And I can count to a hundred and and and…”

“Hey calm down,” Mamoru said, holding his face in his hands. Satoshi blinked and took a big breath. He was always nervous that people would laugh at him. He wanted to be smart and good at things he did and make his parents proud of course. “You will do great. And you should remember that you go to school now to learn all those things, not that you have to know them already.”

Satoshi nodded, flinching when loud shouts sounded from Kazu’s room. He hid his face against his father’s chest who started to rock him and hug him close. “Is Kazu hurt?”

“Yes, but mama will make him better, I promise.”

Satoshi nodded as he gripped Mamoru’s shirt tighter. He still didn’t understand why Kazu cried out loud each morning and why he had all those bad dreams. But he hated them. It scared them, but not as much as when Kazu sat there rocking himself staring blankly in front.

He could hear his mother singing to Kazu and then Kazu calmed down as he was carried to the bathroom. Soon after there was giggling and running feet downstairs. Satoshi relaxed in his father’s arms, looking up to him.

“All okay, Satoshi?”

“Uhn,” he said rubbing his eyes. “Will you all come?”

“Of course. Or don’t you want us there?”

“I… I thought Kazu had to stay back?”

Mamoru smiled and shook his head. “It’ll be fine. I promise you.”

“Okay,” Satoshi said, now smiling a bit more brightly, especially when suddenly the door was thrown open and Kazu climbed on the bed hugging them around the neck.

“Morning, sun up!” he sang happily.

“Yes, we can watch cherry blossoms,” Satoshi said with a grin, looking at his father, who nodded in agreement. He and Keiko had already planned a picnic with the family after the entrance ceremony.

—

Satoshi was happily hopping up and down beside his parents as they walked to the school. He was looking forward to meeting his friends from kindergarten again. His parents had pulled him out of kindergarten for the last three weeks because he and Kazu got along so well. It helped Kazu a lot to be able to play all day with his newly found brother. He was less nervous around them because Satoshi was so good at calming him down.

It also helped that Satoshi had such an innocent way to explain things so that Kazu could understand. Satoshi had enjoyed his time at home a lot but he had also looked forward to this day a lot. His big sister went to school and she learnt a lot and she was the smartest girl he knew. He wanted to be as smart so that he would be able to teach Kazu everything.

Kazu held Mamoru’s hand as he looked around, getting closer to Mamoru until the man picked him finally up and put him on his shoulders.

Kazu shrieked softly but then held on to him and still looked around at the children all running towards the school they went. Mina had walked with them at the start but then met a few friends and ran with them to school, giggling and talking to the girls about today’s ceremony. Kazu had waved at her with a bright grin as the girl had waved at him. But now he was getting a bit scared with all the people around.

But Mamoru was big and now he felt like the king of the world, riding on his shoulders. He put his head on Mamoru’s, giggling when the man tickled his legs.

“Papa fun!” he cried out.

“That’s good,” he answered, holding his legs against his chest as he looked back down at Satoshi who was babbling along about how exciting it was going to be to meet his teacher the first time.

“Mama I have all in my bag right? I put in the pens and books?”

“Yes, and your name tags,” she said softly. “And your lunch package.”

Satoshi nodded in agreement as he held her hand. “And you wait?”

“Yup, we will wait at the big gate after school,” she promised.

“And you watch?”

“The whole ceremony. But you need to be silent when the older children sing the school song, right?”

“Yup! And no peeking at you or dozing off when it’s boring speeches.”

Keiko chuckled and nodded. “Yes, right. Listen to the chairman and the teachers.”

“Uhn! Mama, look at the gate!”

Keiko rolled her eyes good naturally at the excited boy brimming in excitement. She had always thought that Satoshi would cry and yell at having to go to school. They stopped and she knelt to be on his height while Mamoru lifted Kazu from his shoulders. She checked him over and made sure that everything was in order.

“So my big boy, it’s time for you to cross it alone, right?”

“Uhn,” Satoshi said and ruffled Kazu’s hair as he sucked at his thumb looking at him with big eyes. “I’ll see you later, ne Kazu?”

“Yes. Mama, papa, right?”

“Yes you stay with us,” Mamoru said as he stroke his hair to bring it back to order. Keiko hugged Satoshi tightly as he waved at them and then ran through the gate to the school. She sighed as she stood and straightened out her formal dress.

“He grew so fast,” she sniffled and Kazu hugged her around the leg.

“Mama no sad.”

“Mama is not sad. I’m proud,” she said with a smile.

“Mama tears!”

“Tears can be also happy. They don’t always mean that you are sad,” she said.

Kazu nodded not understanding, but he smiled happily when both of them took one of his hands and led him inside the compound as well. They lifted him each few steps swinging him between them until he shrieked with laughter. He giggled as he looked up when the bell rang loud and clear and all students walked into a big gym hall one after the other. His parents led him there and he was allowed to sit on Keiko’s lap, who produced a small picture book out of her bag.

Kazu made big eyes as he was sure that his mother could do magic, how else could she always produce the things from her bag that he wanted, he made a small noise when she even produced a juice pack and sucked it happily throughout the middle of the speeches of boring old men.

—

“Mama, I’m bored,” Kazu said in a not too silent whisper, even if he really tried.

There were chuckles of the mothers around them and Keiko smiled softly as she rubbed his cheeks before he could realise that all eyes were on him. He rocked a bit on the chair the woman had put him on.

Mamoru smiled as he picked him up and threw him into the air, catching the giggling boy. “Let’s go outside then,” he said so that the women could focus on the points the headteacher was telling them about the upcoming term.

“Okay, papa, swing?”

“Do you think you can hold tightly on it? It’s one for big children,” Mamoru said as he carried him out.

Kazu nodded with a serious look on his face. “But no high!”

“I promise but, don’t shout here. There are children studying,” Mamoru explained and the boy giggled as he nodded. They went out and Kazu ran to the swing set on one side of the whole complex to climb on it with difficulty. He almost fell on the other side but Mamoru was there to lift him and put him in the right way.

Keiko came out of the building just before the bell would ring signalling the end of Satoshi’s first day at school. She herded the other two outside of the gate to wait there for Satoshi as promised and the boy laughed happily when he saw them there.

He jumped into Mamoru’s arms who hugged him tightly and turned them both around a few times before putting him down. “How was it?”

“Good! Sensei is very nice. We painted with watercolours,” he said. “Then we wrote our names on the pictures and hang them on the wall and we got our books and where to put them. I don’t have to bring them home each day. It’s great!”

“That’s nice,” Mamoru agreed, putting him down as he went to hug his mother before taking Kazu’s hand in his own.

“Were you bored?”

Kazu shook his head. “I swing. Book!” he explained with happy eyes skipping along with Satoshi as they left the school to go to the park.

“Oh sounds cool. We can play in the park and watch cherry blossoms. You’ll like them,” Satoshi promised.

Kazu nodded happily as they entered the park and their parents looked for a spot for their picnic while Kazu and Satoshi ran in circles around the spot playing catch until they collapsed hungrily and exhaustedly on the blanket. Kazu put his head on Keiko’s lap looking up at her after they had their lunch. “Sleepy Kazu?”

“Kazu sleepy-bye,” he agreed.

She chuckled as Mamoru grinned and handed over a blanket for her to cover Kazu for his midday nap and then left with Satoshi to head for the playground so that he wouldn’t be bored.

Chapter Text

“I’m off, mama, Kazu,” Satoshi yelled as he waved to the two of them. Keiko chuckled as she told him to take care and held Kazu on her arms as the boy waved at his brother. The door closed soon enough and Mamoru appeared at the entryway. He kissed them both before saying goodbye to them to start his day. Kazu already knew that Mamoru would leave every morning after Mina and now even Satoshi had gone before him.

“Mama go?” he asked his mother, looking up to her, before struggling to get out of her arms when he realised he was still wearing pyjamas. “Mama go!” he cried louder.

Keiko held him as she carried him into the living room, holding him in a way that he wouldn’t fall. When they finally reached the living room and Keiko sat down with him on his lap, Kazu was breathing harshly from his struggle and his cheeks were red. Keiko rocked him for a moment until he was not glaring at her anymore.

“Kazu, listen to me,” she says as she cupped his face in her hands. “Satoshi s at school now, like Mina. You know that Mina only comes home in the afternoon right?”

“Uhn, Mi-nee big,” Kazu agreed very slowly and still slurring his words. He was getting frustrated as he realised that he had problems pronouncing them right. Keiko rubbed the tender spot under his eye to keep his focus on her and not concentrate on his body.

“Very good,” she praised as she moved Kazu in her arms so that one hand was still holding his face while the other was around his body so that he could lean against her chest and sit sideways on her lap. Kazu curled up on her lap, still frowning as his hands were balled to fists on his sides.

“Sato play.”

“From today on Satoshi goes to school as well, Kazu, my sweet child. That means that he won’t be home with you in the morning to play. He will come back when Mina comes back as well.”

Kazu stared up at her, his eyes glistening with tears as he slowly understood that Satoshi was not home right now. “Kazu school?”

She smiled as she shook her head. “Not yet, you are still too young to go to school. But we will have fun together, right? We can play and go out to the playground,” she said.

“No Sato?”

Keiko nodded in agreement sighing when his face scrunched up again and she hugged him close as his fists pressed against her chest as to get away from her. “Hate school!” he cried out loud.

Keiko rocked him until he fell asleep in her arms out of exhaustion and rubbed her eyes as she put him down on the sofa. She put a blanket over him and ruffled his hair with her fingertips. Keiko knew that changes were horrible for Kazu so she almost had thought that something like that would happen. The question always was how bad the reactions would be.

—

A few days later Kazu held Keiko’s hand as first Mina, then Satoshi and at last Mamoru told them goodbye. Kazu giggled when each of them kissed his cheek once before leaving fast.

“What do we want to do today?” Keiko asked him with a smile as he skipped to the living room in front of her.

“Car?” he asked waving his favourite toy car in the air making sounds at the back of his throat giggling as he jumped to his feet and ran around the room with the car in his hands. “Mama, two,” he demanded pointing at the other cars still on the floor.

“Mama, car fly,” he laughed when Keiko rolled her eyes but started to play with him as Kazu asked her to. She laughed as she agreed.

“It seems like that. But how will they come down?”

Kazu frowned as he let the car fall, giggling. “Car fall.”

“And the people inside?”

“Trampoline, mama. Bounce,” he explained as he sat down on the floor moving the car on the floor for a bit. “Car drive two.”

“Oh what a smart car,” Keiko chuckled as she got up to roll out a carpet that looked like a village. There were bushes, houses, streets and Kazu made big eyes.

“Mama fire!” he cried out happily pointing at the fireman station. “Nee-nah nee-nah(*),” he sang as he stood to look for the firemen car that Satoshi owned. Keiko smiled as she realised that she was completely forgotten as Kazu started to play out on the carpet and made up fires to put out and cats to rescue.

She stood with a sigh, to prepare a snack for the boy in the kitchen and start on lunch for them so that she wouldn’t have to do that when Kazu wanted her attention. After lunch, they curled up in Kazu’s room so that she could read him a story while he fell to sleep for his nap.

“Mama?” Kazu asked after she woke him up and he cleaned up the cars together with the woman because he wanted to go out into the garden now.

“Yes, sweetie?”

“Sato soon?”

“Satoshi will come back soon, you’re right,” she agreed with a smile. Satoshi normally came home shortly after Kazu’s nap had ended and the boy already got used to playing alone or with Keiko in the mornings.

Kazu hummed happily as he threw the last car into the box, before jumping to his feet and running to the big glass door leading to their garden. “Mama out!”

“Yes, yes. I’m not as fast as you,” she said with a frown.

“Mama old?”

Keiko snorted as she opened the door to him.

“Not grampa and momma?”

“No, I’m not as old as your grandparents,” she agreed with a smile. “But older than you.”

Kazu nodded with a frown tugging at her hand. “Mama play ball?”

“We can play ball until Satoshi comes.”

“Sato home,” Kazu agreed happily as he ran out to get his favourite ball. It was not as big as the soccer ball Satoshi and Mina played with and not as small as the tennis balls they had. He could catch them with two hands if it was thrown carefully and could throw it himself.

Keiko bit her cheek when Kazu slipped and fell on the way back, kneeling on the floor. “Oops Kazu, get up again, ne?”

“Up!” Kazu agreed as he carefully stood up again, with a huff. He frowned as he saw that his hands were dirty and then rubbed the spots on his knees that were also slightly green. “No hurt!” he declared as he showed her his hands - the ball had fallen and rolled away when he fell - to show that there was no blood.

“That’s good ne?” she said and he nodded with a grin.

“Tumble down,” he explained as he ran to the veranda to climb up the wooden steps, holding out his hands. “Wash?”

“We can play first and then wash up afterwards. You will get them dirty anyway,” she explained. “If there is no blood we don’t need to clean them up just yet.

Kazu stared at his hands again, rubbing away the dirt still clinging to his palms, before clapping them with a grin as he saw there really was no blood. He jumped down from the step again, running off to finally get the ball before throwing it to Keiko who had to get quite a few steps closer to even attempt to catch it before it fell to the ground again.

Kazu grinned as they threw the ball for a while until Kazu decided that kicking it was more fun and spend a lot of time running behind the ball until he was tired almost one and a half hours later. “Sato home?”

“Almost,” Keiko said with a laugh as she checked her watch. “Mina as well.”

“Kazu in. Wash, thirst,” Kazu explained as he put the ball down that he had been about to carry to Keiko.

“Then we should do that. Take off your shoes before running in,” she reminded him as Kazu ran up the steps again, pushing the door open to get inside.

“Ah,” Kazu made as he sat down and pulled off his shoes, he threw them to the floor, before looking up sheepishly when Keiko called him back. “Care,” he mumbled as he put the shoes down by the door more carefully and orderly before he was up again, running to the bathroom with Keiko following. He dragged his step to the sink to wash his hands and shrieked when he accidentally opened the tap too far.

“Kazu what happened?” Keiko asked as she went to the bathroom to check on the boy.

“All wet! Me sorry,” he cried.

“It’s okay,” she whispered as she caressed his hair. “Everything is fine. We can clean it up, okay?”

“No mad. No hurt. Please. Kazu good,” he whined rocking himself as he stared at his wet sleeves and the muddy streaks on the white sink and even the mirror.

“Shh… I’m not mad, my sweet child. Everything is okay. Nobody is going to hurt you,” she whispered as she pressed her lips against the crown of his head. She rubbed his dirty cheeks when the sobs had calmed down. He sniffled, rubbing his face with his dirty hands as he stared up at her.

Keiko smiled fondly as she rubbed his cheek lovingly. The reactions of her sweet child were often not predictable for any of them but at least Kazu was able to calm down faster now. She tickled him slightly so that he would giggle and bopped his nose. “Up with your arms. We will need to change your shirt,” she said in a light voice.

He giggled when she tickled him under the arms until he lifted them and then pulled off the shirt in one swift motion. Then she helped Kazu to clean his face and his hands, before filling a cup with water so that he could rinse off the dirty streaks on the sink as she cleaned the mirror and dried the floor.

“See all like it was before, right?”

“Yes,” he said, relief clear in his voice as Keiko helped him with putting on a new shirt.

“Let’s go to the kitchen so that you can drink something and I will prepare some fruits for you to eat,” she said as she led him down.

Kazu sat on a normal chair with a cup of water in both hands as he took big gulps of water. When the door opened though he put the cup down, grinning happily when he heard Satoshi calling out that he was back. He jumped from his chair to run over to his brother and greet him with a hug. “Welcome back!” he cried pressing his lips against Satoshi’s cheeks as the older boy chuckled. “Mama fruit.”

“Oh, mama made us snacks? Then we should hurry,” Satoshi agreed, leading him back to the kitchen to greet his mother. He snatched one of the apple slices from Kazu’s plate to put in his mouth as he watched Kazu eat his afternoon snack - of course while sharing with his big brother. They shared the two cookies on the plate as well, before Satoshi explained that he had to do homework. Kazu pouted but he had already understood that this was a daily thing now and settled down across from Satoshi on his high chair to draw some pictures while Keiko was helping Satoshi with his writings before they were allowed to go play in their rooms while Keiko made dinner.

A/N: (*)I have no idea about how the onomatopoetic for the noise made by a fire engine or police car is in another language. I found this when I looked it up online. So I hope it’s okay

Chapter Text

Keiko groaned as the bed under them shifted and she sat up while rubbing her eyes. She blinked when she saw her son sitting on the side of their bed, looking at her with wide eyes.

“Satoshi, did you have a bad dream?” she asked and he shook his head.

“No, mama. But today is special, right?” he asked brimming in excitement as he moved up and down on the bed, waking Mamoru that way.

Keiko frowned a bit at his words and thought about what Satoshi meant before she smiled and nodded.

“Ah, yes,” she chuckled when Satoshi’s grin got even wider. “Kazu’s first birthday here,” she agreed with a small smile as she looked at her happy boy.

“Can we wake him up? I woke up early to be able to do so! Because Kazu always wakes up so early. It’s easier with Nee-chan,” he said with a pout.

Keiko chuckled as she thought it over. Kazunari had gotten much more comfortable around them and especially with Satoshi he was very reliant, but he got spooked easily if he was tired.

Satoshi’s face fell slightly as he realised her hesitation. “You don’t like that idea, mama?”

“I love that idea, Satoshi,” she whispered. “Waking him with a cake, as we do for you would be nice ne? But Kazu might be scared if we surprise him. You know that he has bad dreams, right?”

“Yes, but he doesn’t shout that much anymore.”

Keiko’s lips twitched slightly as she nodded. When Kazu had bad dreams he would still wake up and cry but now he would climb out of bed and wake her or Mamoru on his own and they would snuggle up or clean him whatever was needed.

“True, but he might be ashamed,” she said with a sigh.

“Because he wets the bed?”

Keiko nodded and smoothed down his wrinkled forehead. “Yes, my darling. So how we make it a bit differently today? You go and wake up your sister together with your papa and then prepare the breakfast downstairs? You can decorate the table a bit and place the cake there. I will go and wake Kazu and tell him that there is a surprise waiting for him, but not what it is?”

Satoshi still pouted but then he nodded as he pressed his lips to her cheeks and then dragged his father with him out of the room and into Mina’s room to wake her up and force her downstairs.

Keiko smiled as she stood and looked after her youngest son. Kazu was frowning in his sleep his brows furrowed and his small mouth pursed. She could already tell that he was about to wake up and was dreaming right now. She sat down beside him and caressed his cheek.

He murmured in his sleep his fingers closing around an ear of his bunny as he dragged it closer to his mouth and moved his lips against his, making small sounds. She smiled sadly when she could feel the wetness on his cheeks.

“Kazu wakey-wakey. The sun woke up. Time to begin a new day,” she hummed, stroking his side and arm until he woke up. He blinked up to him with sleepy eyes and soon enough a small smile appeared on his face.

“Mama,” he whispered and held out his hands. She smiled as she hugged him and rocked him in her arms. “No oopsies,” he mumbled but was wriggling around in her lap.

“But you need to go to the toilet now, huh?” she said as she bopped his nose.

He nodded and hid his face against her shoulder. She didn’t say anything and carried him over to the toilet so that he felt more comfortable. Then they went to the bathroom to wash his face and get ready to start the day.

“Mama, Sato, papa, Mi-nee wake?”

“Oh, they are already up, my sweet child. They are waiting downstairs with a big surprise for you.”

Kazu’s eyes widened as he moved his fingers uncomfortably. He wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not. He stared at Keiko who looked back very calmly and he knew that nothing bad would happen to him if she was there. They had promised him after all.

“Okay?”

“Shall we go downstairs and look at what it is?”

“Arm,” Kazu said but nodded.

Keiko chuckled as she picked him up and kissed his temple. “Of course. Then let’s go to the kitchen. We have fresh melon and strawberries for breakfast.”

“Melon good,” Kazu agreed with bright eyes.

He put his arms around her neck as she carried him to the kitchen and hid his face halfway at his shoulder while peeking at the same time to see what the surprise would be.

His eyes widened when he saw the nicely set table. “Cake!” he cried out as he saw the cake in front of his seat, clapping his hands.

Keiko giggled at his cry of joy and carried him over to her grinning family. Mamoru lit the candles on top of the cake before they all sang happy birthday for him. Kazu clapped his hands as he sang some words with them. He knew that song from his short time at the orphanage. He didn’t know exactly what it meant, but it included cake, which was good.

“Now you blow at the candles,” Keiko explained as she held him closer with one arm while holding his hands with the hand of his other arm so that he wouldn’t try to touch them.

Kazu pursed his lips as he made blowing noises, frowning hard as he concentrated on trying to blow out the candles. He was so concentrated that he didn’t realise that Mamoru was helping him doing so.

A cheer went up around him and he giggled with them as they were all out now and Keiko put him in his chair.

“Congratulations, my sweet child. You are growing bigger already, with four years,” she said and Kazu held up his hand.

“How many?”

Keiko grinned as she moved his thumb down. “That many. We’ll count together, okay?”

Kazu nodded making a fist with his mother and then holding up one finger after the other while counting to four. He brimmed proudly as he managed to do so and turned around to show Satoshi. “Sato, I four! This many!” he cried out happily.

Satoshi giggled as he hugged his little brother and kissed his cheek. “Happy birthday!” he cried and Kazu nodded, his eyes wandering back to his cake.

It was made from chocolate cream and he loved that very much.

“So who wants cake?” Mamoru asked with a grin and Kazu put up both hands into the air.

“Kazu!” he yelled, his eyes sparkling as he got half a slice of the cake.

“More is for the afternoon,” Mamoru promised and Kazu nodded.

He ate the cake, giggling when Satoshi did so as well beside him. Satoshi jumped up when he was finished and ran to the living room, before coming back, his hands full of paper poppies.

“Poppy!” Kazu said as he held out his hands for his mother who cleaned them and his face from the chocolate cream and offered him the spoon with his medicine. He opened his mouth but his eyes were on the poppies in Satoshi’s hands.

Keiko rolled her eyes but managed to put the spoon in Kazu’s mouth who took the medicine and then held out his hands for the poppies.

“I made them,” Satoshi said. “As a present, because you like them. Mama said we can put them in a vase, ne?” he said before blushing slightly as he realised that he had hindered his mother earlier.

“Yes, that’s right,” Keiko said and ruffled his hair with a smile. Satoshi grinned when he realised that it was okay and sat back on his chair.

“But after breakfast. Kazu you need to eat more than the cake, what do you want?” she asked as she put the flowers to the side and Kazu looked at the table, pointing at the crunchy oatmeal.

“With yoghurt and fruits?” Mamoru asked as he poured some in his bowl.

“Please,” Kazu agreed with a smile moving his legs up and down, giggling when Mina tickled his socked foot that was swinging beside her.

After breakfast, Satoshi led him to the living room where a small stack of presents was waiting for him. Kazu’s eyes widened as he was told that they were all his and his fingers shook slightly as he reached for the first parcel, ripping off the paper.

He looked at his new toys jumping to his feet and thanking them all while hugging them around the neck before plopping down beside his new truck, making noises as he moved it until it touched a horse and he took that to move it around.

Satoshi giggled as he watched him and then took the other horse when Kazu demanded him and Mina to play with him while their parents went and cleaned up the kitchen and prepare for the afternoon when the grandparents would come over.

Chapter Text

“No! Kazu alone!” Kazu cried out as he ran to the other side of the garden, away from the rest of the kids that had come in the afternoon to celebrate the birthday and just spend the day together.

They had been playing all day mostly outside with much running around and loud laughter as they had played either together or two on two.

The adults were watching them while talking together, and Mamoru had started a barbecue for their dinner. He looked up in worry at the cry of his son, but it seemed as if he was happy enough to stare at the flowers at the end he was now stranded alone.

Kazu hugged his knees as he rocked forwards and backwards mumbling to himself lowly. Satoshi and Mina looked at him just a second, but they were already used to Kazu running off while declaring he needed alone time for a while when they usually played.

“NOOO!” Kazu cried out suddenly again as he jumped up and ran inside. There was a banging of doors and crying, and Mamoru looked up from the barbecue back with worry.

Kazu was nowhere to be seen, and Rin was on the floor cackling. Satoshi was looking put out by his behaviour with Mina held his hand before his son could stomp over and hit Rin.

“I’m sorry, I need to check on Kazu,” Keiko said as she got to her feet, smiling softly at his sister, who was frowning. Mamoru rolled his eyes as she muttered about the ill-behaviour of their adopted son and that she had known nothing good could have come out of the adoption.

Luckily his parents were already in love with their little bonus grandchild and argued with them. He just hoped that Keiko didn’t hear that.

“Satoshi do you want to help me?” he called Satoshi who was still looking quite grumpy.

Satoshi perked up slightly as he rushed over and Mamoru picked him up as he let him check on the meat.

“Papa?” Satoshi whispered to him and looked at him with big eyes.

“Yes?”

“Is Kazu okay?”

“Yes, he is just a bit tired,” Mamoru said with a smile. “We skipped his afternoon nap.”

“Uhn,” Satoshi said with a frown. “Rin is a meanie!”

“Why that?”

“Because he didn’t leave him alone when he asked.”

“But that doesn’t mean someone is mean,” Mamoru explained. “Look you and Mina know already that he tells us when he needs to be alone. But others think he would be lonely,” he said.

“But he shoved his shoulder!”

Mamoru sighed and then nodded. “True that is not nice. But I’m sure he didn’t mean it in a bad way.”

Satoshi didn’t look as if his words convinced him, but he let it rest.

“I don’t want to have carrots,” he mumbled when he saw the mixed vegetables on the side, ready to be put on the grill.

“You can leave them. But we like carrots. Do you want to have sausages?”

“Yes, please. Can I have shrimps?”

“We can share a small serving,” Mamoru agreed with a small smile. “And I make hamburgers for you.”

“Kazu likes hamburgers!” Satoshi said happily.

“Yup. That’s why we make them.”

“May I help?”

“It’s hot, so be careful.”

Satoshi nodded as he held one arm around Mamoru’s neck as he was allowed to stir the vegetables with the long thongs.

—

Keiko found Kazu in the corner of the living room right between the wall and the sofa. His hands were over his ears as he was rocking back and forth even faster. She carefully knelt in front of him and waited until he looked up.

“Mama!” he cried out and plunged himself into her arms. She put her arms around him, closing her eyes as she rocked him in his arms until he calmed down a little bit.

Kazu sniffled, his face pressed against her chest.

“Little one, when you play
Pay no heed what they say
Let your eyes sparkle and shine
Never a tear, baby of mine,” she sang until he calmed down enough that he dropped against her body, his eyes closing and he sighed softly.

“My sweet child, today is a lot ne?” she whispered as she cleaned his face. “Do you want to stay inside? Or do you want to come back out with me?”

“No play,” Kazu whined. “All loud. No like.”

He pressed against his mother, who started to rock him again in her arms.

“That is fine, Kazu. We’ll do whatever you want. Shall we get ready for dinner?”

“Mama cook?”

“No, papa prepared a barbecue. You never had one, right?”

Kazu shook his head with a frown on his face. “Papa cook?”

“Yup, he’s making your favourite hamburgers right now and grilled vegetables.”

“Hamburgers?” Kazu asked with a hopeful look. He relaxed more against Keiko, his eyes drooping a little as his thumb wandered into his mouth.

“Yes, so do you want to eat them with us?”

“Yes, please,” Kazu asked as he looked up at her. She smiled and kissed his forehead.

“Then we shall clean up your face, right?”

Kazu nodded as Keiko carried him around. He felt much more comfortable in her arms right now.

“Kazu bad?” he asked when Keiko changed his clothes so that he could also sleep in them if he fell to sleep after dinner since he didn’t want to play with the others again.

“No, why do you think so?”

“Push Rin,” he said with pursed unhappy lips.

“That was not nice, right. But that doesn’t mean you are bad, Kazu. You told them you want to play alone.

“Kazu did. Head funny,” he said with a frown.

“But Kazu still needs to apologise okay? Tell Rin you didn’t want to hurt him?”

“Okay,” Kazu whispered as he hid his face.

“Hey, Kazu?”

“Yes, mama?”

“Do you still remember how old you are today?” she asked with a smile.

Kazu frowned at the sudden question, his mind focusing on that though. He grinned toothily then and held up four fingers. “That many.”

He sat back in her arms to look at his fingers and counted each one until he declared a loud four. “Kazu big, right?”

“Kazu is very big now,” Keiko agreed.

“Kazu same Sato.”

Keiko chuckled as she shook her head. “No, sorry, my sweet child. Satoshi is already six.”

“How much?” he asked with a frown, and she put him on the counter in the bathroom to count six fingers for him. Kazu made big eyes. He would need more then to be the same as his brother.

Keiko picked him up as Kazu still wondered if he would ever be as old as Satoshi and brought him to the kitchen.

“Kazu medi?”

“It would probably be better for your head,” she agreed as she fed him a spoonful of his medicine. They mostly were down to one spoonful a day, but the doctors had told her that on days like these, a second dose might be needed for him to be able to sleep during the night.

“Do you want to have juice along with your dinner?”

“Apple,” he agreed hopefully.

“Alright. You need to help me carry this outside,” she said as she pulled out some glasses and the juice box. Kazu hugged two juice boxes close to him. He followed Keiko outside, hiding partly behind her as they were out. He saw Satoshi with their father and Mina playing with the other girls.

“Kazu, are you alright?” his grandmother asked, and he smiled shyly as he nodded.

“Kazu okay,” he said as he handed the juice boxes over to his mother who put them on the table. He climbed on her lap as she got told by his grandmother to sit because he was clinging to her leg.

“But you are the guests,” she said as Kazu snuggled on top of her and watched his grandmothers almost fighting over who would set the table.

“Yes, but the birthday boy wants his mama, right dearie?”

Kazu nodded with a small yawn, ignoring his aunt, who clicked his tongue.

His grandfather got up when he saw that and ruffled his hair, before sauntering over to Satoshi and Mamoru. He took Satoshi over from his father and talked to the man for a moment, before bringing Satoshi over with a smile. Satoshi sat down beside his mother and held Kazu’s hand as he held out his hand for him.

“Papa says our food is almost ready,” Satoshi said.

“You should wait until everybody can eat,” his aunt scolded, and he shrank slightly while Satoshi looked a bit unhappy.

“Papa said that kids could eat first because hamburgers and veggies are finished already. Meat takes long!”

“Satoshi is right,” his uncle said with a sigh. “When the others were Kazu’s age we let them eat earlier as well,” he sighed. His aunt huffed but then agreed with her husband.

Kazu snuggled closer to Keiko who still rocked him to keep him calm.

“Grampa thank,” Kazu said, perking up slightly as the old man put a perfectly cooked hamburger in front of him. Keiko held the plate for him as he held the burger in his hands and ate it in huge, hungry bites.

“Yummy, Kazu?”

“Yes!” he said happily, grinning down at Satoshi, who was eating his vegetables with his fingers instead of his chopsticks. He giggled as he did the same with the ones on his plate.

“Papa good!” he cried out when his father came over with a bigger plate of different kinds of meat and calling the others over.

“I’m glad,” Mamoru chuckled, and Kazu fidgeted when Rin came over to the table and sat beside his mother.

Keiko squeezed him fondly, and he looked up at the other boy. He nibbled on his lower lip.

“Kazu sorry,” he said with down warded eyes. Keiko smiled and nodded when the other boy shrugged and said that it was okay.

“You did good,” she whispered to Kazu, who smiled proudly at the praise.

“Do you want more food?” Satoshi asked. Kazu shook his head and took his cup with juice with both hands to drink from it.

“I’m going to move you Kazu,” Keiko warned the boy as she moved him sideways on her lap. Kazu wriggled his feet, giggling when Ohno pinched his naked wriggling toe, and he laid his head on Keiko’s shoulder, making himself small enough for her to be able to eat over his head. Kazu wriggled only once to put the cup back on the table before rolling up on her lap and sucking at his thumb as his eyes slowly fell close. He startled a few times because of laughter, blinking his eyes open. Still, in the end, he fell truly to sleep in Keiko’s arms, who hugged him close and motioned for Mamoru to pass over a blanket for her to put around him so that he could stay with them outside until their families left them for the night.

Keiko put Kazu directly into their bed with Mamoru since she was sure that Kazu would wake up during the night and she didn’t want him to be alone, while Mamoru put Mina and Satoshi to bed that night.

Chapter Text

“Kazu,” Keiko called and smiled when the boy yelled back that he needed to rescue the princess. She rolled her eyes as she walked to the living room where Kazu was on the floor, making sounds while moving around the dolls, giggling loudly.

“Is the princess, alright?”

“Yes, mama. Rescued princess, now tea with dragon, prince too,” he giggled as he jumped to his feet and ran over to her, hugging her leg.

“My brave little hero.”

“We strong!” he said with laughter as he still peered up to her with bright eyes.

“You are very strong,” she agreed with a fond smile, meaning it in more than just one way. “We need to go out for some groceries. Papa forgot things we wanted to eat for dinner.”

Kazu’s face crumbled slightly. He didn’t like the shops. They were always full, and people didn’t see him and ran into him. It was so loud as well, and all that bright light hurt his eyes.

“Don’t wanna.”

“I know, sweetheart. But if we don’t go, we can’t eat tonight,” Keiko said softly. “We will be quick, I promise.”

“Don’t like,” he whined hopping from one foot to the other as his fingers clenched and unclenched around the cloth of her dress.

“While we are out, we can also go to the playground. Does that sound fun?”

Kazu looked up with big eyes, and then he nodded softly. “Climb?”

“Yes, we can go to the one with the big climbing frame. And the fun round swing that you like.”

“Wanna go!” he cheered. “Sand toys?”

“Yes, we can bring some toys. But first groceries,” she reminded him. Kazu’s face fell slightly, but then he squared his little shoulders and nodded.

“With mama, close.”

“Of course, I will stay close-by. You never have to go alone,” she said with a chuckle.

“Okay,” Kazu said and then turned around on his heels to run up the stairs and to his room. “Mama, come!” he yelled.

Keiko rolled her eyes and followed the little boy to his room, where he was pulling out clothes from his cupboard.

“Help?”

“Do you want to change your clothes?”

Kazu nodded as he sat on the floor to kick off his jogging trousers and held up his shorts. It was sunny outside, and he didn’t like his jogging trousers to get the sand in the folds of his favourite pants for home.

He grumbled as he tried to close the button and got up to walk over to her as he realised that his fingers were just uncooperative there. He always got frustrated by those evil buttons but still wanted to try to do it on his own. Keiko helped him and pulled out a sweater for him to wear if it got cold.

“Ready to go?”

He nodded as he grabbed his small backpack to push in Momo and choose two toys for the playground to carry with him. “Mama, water?” he asked as they walked down again, holding his bag open. The woman chuckled as she put his water bottle inside and he put it on the floor kneeling in front of the bag to pull the zipper close.

—

Kazu held tightly to the dress of his mother as they went to the supermarket to buy some meat and vegetables. He was nervous and always pressed even closer when strangers came up to them to tell his mother how cute and sweet he was.

He grimaced softly when an elderly lady rubbed his cheek after he had politely greeted her, and hid behind his mother’s legs, who picked him up quickly.

“He doesn’t like to be touched without being asked,” Keiko said as he pressed his face against her neck. The woman clicked her tongue slightly.

“He has no manners it seems,” she said. “You need to teach him better,” she scolded.

He peered up at the women and held her more tightly.

“I don’t think you like to be touched without being asked,” his mother said instead and then rubbed his hair and brought him to the cash register.

“Me is sorry,” Kazu said when he was sure the woman was gone. Keiko shook her head and put a stray strand of hair out from his forehead.

“Never be because you don’t want to touch or be touched without permission, sweetheart. You can decide,” she mumbled as she greeted the woman behind the register. Kazu hid his face again at her shoulder and hugged her around the neck. He listened to his mother talk to the woman and then waved goodbye at her when Keiko carried him out. He wriggled as they were out until Keiko put him on the sidewalk so that he could walk a few steps in front of her into the direction of the playground.

Keiko smiled in relief as she saw that the boy was already laughing again and greeted the people they came across. Luckily nobody came too close this time, which relaxed Kazu a lot. They had tried to explain to him that he didn’t need to greet everybody, but it had been written in a book about a polite little mole that Kazu was enamoured with.

They needed to read it almost every day, and Kazu had taken from it that greeting was polite but that he didn’t need to hug or give hands to all people if he didn’t want to.

They arrived at the playground soon after and Kazu pushed the small gate open with some difficulties. He waited until Keiko entered as well to close it again, grinning up to her.

“All safe for little ones,” he declared.

She chuckled as she ruffled his hair and nodded. “Yes, very good,” she agreed. He cheered and then took off to the sandpit first to play with his toys while Keiko sat close by, guarding the things that Kazu brought her.

—

Kazu was happy enough to play on his own in the sandpit for most of the time.

After a while, he got to his feet and brought his toys back and climbed on the bench beside Keiko to drink his water. “Are you already tired, Kazu?” she asked softly.

Kazu shook his head as he drank the water in big gulps before putting the flask away, breathing heavily. He put the bottle away again with a happy smile, his eyes wandering over the playground as he moved his legs up and down.

“Kazu climb,” he said then as he hopped off the bench.

“Do you want help?”

Kazu shook his head as he wandered over. “I big!”

Keiko giggled softly as she watched him walk to the climbing frame, watching the other children play together a bit shyly, but then his eyes were back on the structure, and she sighed softly as he climbed the first steps.

Keiko tried to bring him here as often as possible to get him used to other children and prepare him at least a bit for kindergarten. Still, the boy preferred to be with his siblings, which she understood, but neither Satoshi nor Mina would be there.

Nino climbed the frame as high as he felt comfortable and then looked back to his mother, who observed him. He held tightly to the post as he called her finally to help.

“Mama help,” he asked with big eyes.

“You already got so high,” she praised him, and he grinned happily.

“Down now. Down scary,” he said as he peered down to the floor under the frame. He moved a bit restlessly until his mother held him around his armpits to pick him up and put him to the floor.

Kazu tugged at her hand and smiled. “Thank you. Swing?”

“Okay. A bit, but we have to go home soon,” she reminded him. “Lunchtime is very soon.” Kazu nodded in understanding as he led Keiko to the big swing. He climbed up and moved his legs as he had seen his brother do.

Satoshi could swing on his own, and he still needed to be pushed by his parents. He cheered when Keiko did so and asked her to get higher and higher!

Then he looked up and grinned at Keiko. “Mama two.”

“Me?” she asked, and he wriggled on the seat a bit more. He moved his legs and whined softly.

“Mama stop!” he cried, when the swing got slower, he jumped from the swing and tugged at her hands. “Mama swing. Kazu push,” he cheered.

“I’m too big for the swing, Kazu,” she said with a chuckle. He stomped on the floor and shook his head.

“Swing fun! Mama two.”

He ran around her and pushed her slightly until his mother agreed finally. She sat on the swing and moved her legs on the floor as Kazu giggled behind her and pushed her.

“Fun, mama?”

“Very,” Keiko agreed with a chuckle smiling when Kazu cheered as he pushed her again. He giggled as Keiko turned a bit and caught her little boy around the waist.

“Mama!” he shrieked when she picked him up and put him on his lap. She blew a raspberry on his cheek, enjoying the giggling of Kazu.

“We can do it together,” she said as she held him close and carefully moved them on the swing. Kazu’s laughter was contagious, and they stayed there until Kazu started to feel restless again. He wriggled in her arms and started to rock himself, signalling Keiko that it was time to go home and for Kazu to take his nap.

“Kazu shall we go home?” she asked, and he sniffled slightly.

“No! Play,” Kazu said as he was put on the floor again he ran from her to the slide and climbed the first steps before his grip loosened on the step, and he fell. He sniffled and started to cry as he ran to his mother. Keiko picked him up, rocking him slightly.

“We are going home, sweetheart. You are getting grumpy and should take your nap.”

“Kazu no baby,” the boy cried out, thrashing in her arms. Then he could hear some laughter and got silent. His eyes got teary as he hid his face at Keiko’s shoulder.

“Kazu?”

Kazu shook his head sniffling. “Home!” he cried on her shoulder. Keiko frowned as she picked up their things and finally carried Kazu the short walk home, rocking her crying boy in her arms even if she didn’t know what exactly had happened.

At home, the crying had subdued to small sniffles, and Keiko put him on the sofa with a blanket on top to let him catch up on his sleep.

—

Kazu woke to the sound of their bell and sat up. He rubbed his face as Keiko walked to the door to check on who was on the other side. He hugged Momo close to himself, whispering to the bunny about his dreams.

“Kazu come here for a second,” his mother called suddenly, and he slipped off the sofa. He walked over to his mother, hugging the toy close to himself as he curiously peered outside.

His eyes widened as he recognised the boy who had laughed at him, and he pressed against his mother’s side.

The boy at the other side was stepping from foot to foot nervously, looking up at a woman, who was probably his grandmother. The woman nodded encouragingly at the boy pushing him to the front a bit, and he bowed down in front of Kazu.

Kazu’s eyes widened as he stepped back a little. His eyes wandered to his mother, questioningly.

“I’m sorry for upsetting you,” the boy said with a slight lisp as he looked up again. He was slightly distressed, looking as he hid again halfway, feeling shy and embarrassed.

“You laugh,” Kazu said carefully. “I fall. Fall owie.”

The other shook his head with shocked eyes, jumping out from his hiding place to come closer again. “I didn’t laugh at you!” he denied. “Momma says I’m too loud for my own good,” he said with a frown. “I didn’t laugh at you, really not. But I’m sorry, you felt so. I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“No laugh?” Kazu asked to make sure. There had been laughter, and when he had looked up, the boy had been looking at him.

Again the other shook his head. “No, I told momma you pushed your mama. I wanted to push momma. I laughed because it looked fun.”

“Fun,” Kazu agreed, holding to his mother. “Kazu like swing.”

“Swings are fun,” the other agreed with a toothy grin.

Kazu frowned at him for a moment before he held out his bunny. “That Momo, you?”

“Aiba Masaki!” the boy introduced himself. “That’s my momma,” he said, pointing at the woman.

“Ohno Kazunari. Call Kazu. No like other,” Kazu introduced himself with some difficulty. “That mama, and Momo. Sato, Mi-nee, papa no here.”

Aiba nodded at his explanation, watching him with curious eyes. “And we brought cake as an apology,” he said and held out a box.

“Mama, cake,” Kazu said with big eyes.

Keiko chuckled. “I hear. You didn’t have lunch though,” she reminded him. His face fell unhappily, and she chuckled. “Also, you need to tell Masaki-kun if you accept his apology.”

“Accept,” Kazu babbled, hopping up and down. “Cake?”

Keiko rolled her eyes but then nodded. “Should we invite Masaki-kun and his grandmother to share then?”

Kazu thought about it for a second and then nodded. “Masa swing?” he offered as he held out his hand for him to take.

“Later, maybe Kazu. Masaki-kun and his grandmother have to go home probably. But you two can meet up on another day to play, right?” she asked the woman who chuckled but nodded.

“But I think we have time for a slice of cake to celebrate them having made up,” the woman agreed as she entered the house after an apology for the disturbance. Keiko smiled as she shook her head and showed them the way to the kitchen.

Kazu and Masaki were talking in front of them.

“You know he was all upset when he realised that your son was crying and told me he had to apologise for making him cry. I was worried we were disturbing you, but… How could I deny his wish?”

Keiko chuckled as she nodded in agreement. “I would’ve done the same,” she explained as she helped Kazu into his chair and set the table for their impromptu coffee time.

Chapter Text

“Kazu, we should also get ready.”

“Ready?” Kazu asked as he looked at his mother from where they had said their good-byes to the rest of the family.

Keiko chuckled as she picked him up and brought him into his room to help him wearing regular clothes.

“Mama grocery again?”

“No, sweetheart. From today on, you are a kindergarten student.”

“Like Sato?”

“A little bit,” Keiko agreed. “But there will be lots of other children, and you can play for the whole day. It will be fun.”

“With mama?”

“No, there will be teachers to spend time with you and teach you all the things that you want to know.”

Kazu pursed his lips in confusion but then nodded as she held his hand when they went to the entry again. He put on the coat and his shoes while his mother took a small backpack for him to bring with them.

Kazu giggled as she held his hand and allowed him to skip beside her until they were at the building. He hid halfway behind his mother at the many children that he was not used to.

“Kazu, don’t be shy,” she chuckled softly as she put a hand on top of his hair and ruffled them softly, before pushing him to the front.

Kazu nodded as he hesitantly walked to the building and held tightly to the skirt of his mother. Keiko sighed softly but walked him over the playground and into the building.

Kazu watched his mother talking to a woman who smiled down at him. He hid again halfway but remembered to bop his head in greeting at least. His mother always was a little upset if he didn’t at least say hello and goodbye politely even if he didn’t have to get too close to strangers or even relatives if he didn’t want to. After a while, the women knelt in front of him.

“Hello, Kazu,” she said, still with a warm smile on her lips.

“Hello,” he said after glancing at his mother to make sure that this was okay.

“I’m Hotaru-sensei, and very happy to have you in our sunflower group. You’ll see, we’ll have lots of fun together.”

Kazu nodded again a bit insecure and pressed closer to his mother. The woman got up and offered him her hand. “Do you want to see the room? It’s really big, and we have many toys and new friends that wait for you,” she explained.

“That sounds nice, right, Kazu?” Keiko asked as she carefully led him to said door. Kazu stumbled a little but followed a little more comfortable at the promise of toys.

“Kazu play?”

“Yes, Kazu can play much with the other children. I promise they are just as excited and happy as I am to have someone new in our group.”

“We play?” he asked as he tugged at his mother’s skirt again to get her attention.

“Your mama can come in with us, yes,” Hotaru-sensei said, and he frowned slightly.

Keiko put him on a small bench in front of the room and helped him to change his shoes into some indoor shoes. “Kazu whenever you are inside here you need to wear these, okay? I wrote your name on them.”

“Stickers,” he said with a giggle as he moved his feet up to the bench to look at the sticker with a bunny on it.

“Yup, so that you can always recognise them. All your things have one of them with a bunny and your name,” Keiko smiled as she opened the backpack and showed Nino the one on the inside.

Kazu’s face brightened up as he hugged the backpack close to himself.

“Do you like bunnies, Kazu?” Hotaru asked, and he nodded happily.

“Yup, Momo favourite,” he said. “Always had.”

“Wow, I would like to meet Momo. Maybe you can bring him next week?”

Kazu nodded happily at the prospect of bringing his bunny and looked at his mother, who agreed as well. She then showed him where to hang his bag, and they walked further. Kazu looked at the different rooms where children were playing while he followed his mother.

“Mama, Masa here?” he asked suddenly.

“Masaki-kun is here as well,” his mother agreed.

That was why she had chosen this place. Masaki would be here for one more year and next year Masaki’s little brother - one that Kazu also already knew - would enter the daycare so that she could be sure that he always had someone close he already liked to play.

“Masa play!” Kazu said happily as he clapped his hands and hopped up and down. Masaki never could come to play in the morning, and just now Kazu remembered that Masaki had explained to him what a kindergarten was and that he had fun there.

They entered the group room, and Kazu greeted the others a bit shyly when hellos welcomed him before hiding at his mother again.

“Kazu, do you want to play a game now? You can choose one,” Hotaru offered, and he nodded. He tugged his mother with him to the shelf to choose a game that he knew from home and then dragged her to one of the tables to sit down.

“I will only play with you one round, Kazu. Then I will leave, and you can play with Hotaru-sensei and the others.”

“Mama stay?”

Keiko sighed as she shook her head. “No, sweetheart. I told you right, and it’s a place for children to play with others and learn with the teachers.”

Kazu nodded as he stared down at the yellow figure he had chosen for himself. He didn’t like to be without her.

“Oh, hello, Kazu!” Masaki yelled as he entered the room. He ran over before recognising the others. “Good morning, Hotaru-sensei, Kazu’s mama.”

“Hello, Masaki,” the adults greeted. Nino giggled and waved at Masaki.

“Masa play?”

“Yup,” Masaki said as he sat down beside him and took another figure. “Are you with us today?”

“Kazu play with mama.”

Masaki grinned as he nodded and they started the game. When the round was over, his mother stood and bent to be face to face with her son.

“Kazu, I will be going, ne? You have lots of fun with Masaki-kun and the others.”

Kazu looked up with wide eyes. “Kazu with mama?” he asked with a small panicked whine in his voice.

Keiko caressed his cheek and shook his head. “You have so much fun playing here, ne? And I need to go grocery shopping and to the doctors. You don’t like going there, ne?”

Kazu grimaced and then nodded. He really didn’t like going there.

“And when I’m done, I will come back, and we can go home.”

“Mama promise?”

“Of course,” she whispered, kissing his forehead. “Bye-bi, Kazu.”

Kazu stood up as he watched her stood and left the room.

“Kazu, say good-bye to your mama,” Hotaru-sensei reminded him.

Kazu stared at the woman with wide eyes when she turned at the door again to wave at him, and tears sprang to his eyes. He jumped to his eyes and ran after the woman before she could entirely leave.

“Mama no go. Kazu good. Kazu no alone. Please!” he cried as he pressed against her leg. “Kazu good, Kazu really good. Kazu promise. Kazu listen.”

“Oh, my sweet child,” Keiko whispered as she knelt to hug him close to herself and sway him in his arms. She looked up a bit helplessly at Hotaru who was on her feet shortly after and led them out so that Keiko could be in a vacant room with her son. She swayed him as he gripped tightly to her shirt, crying and continuing to promise to be a good boy to please not abandon him.

“Kazu, you are a good boy. No need to change,” she promised as she caressed the small of his back. “But the daycare is fun, I promise. No need for so many tears.”

Kazu shook his head and pressed himself even tighter against Keiko. She rocked him in her arms, dropping small kisses on top of his head until he calmed down again from exhaustion.

“I’m sorry for this,” she said to Hotaru who shook her head.

“It’s fine. Some children react more badly to this than others.”

“I think I should take him home for today,” Keiko whispered, playing with Kazu’s strands of hair as he sank against him. “Try another day again.”

“Are you sure?”

Keiko looked down on her little boy and nodded. “Yes.” She would need to address this again with Kazu. Trying to explain better what this was. She had done so already before today, of course, and Kazu seemed to have understood it all. Especially with Masaki at his side. And of course, he knew from his siblings how it was to be away for the day.

That Kazu feared to be abandoned hurt her even if that made sense if one considered his past. It was just that most of the time now Kazu seemed like not remembering anything about his history and just being very happy.

“Thank you for your help, Hotaru-sensei. We will come tomorrow if that’s okay?”

“Of course. And considering his past, it will probably end up being a prolonged process with you staying close by and leaving him only for a short time alone until we can make sure he feels secure enough.”

Keiko sighed but nodded as she pressed her lips against Kazu’s forehead. “We’ll be fine, right?” she asked him, smiling when there was no answer since Kazu had already fallen asleep.

In the end, it took them more than two months to slowly ease Kazu into liking being in daycare without his mother. Still, by then everybody was sure that the little boy felt secure that he would always be brought home after a while and nobody wanted anything terrible from him, and that made it worth in the end.

Chapter Text

Keiko looked at her little boy who was hopping from foot to foot in front of the big school gate. He was peering into the schoolyard and pointing at everything he could see inside excitedly. Of course, Kazu already knew the school because of his big brother, but now that it was his turn, it was something completely different. She sighed as she leant against her husband, who chuckled as he pressed his lips against her hair.

“Are you crying?” Mamoru teased her, and she shook her head, before sniffling and nodding.

“Of course, our little boy has grown so much,” she said.

“Mama, the bell rang!” Kazu cried out, looking at her with wide eyes. “Toshi said when the bell rings, we need to go inside. I can’t be late!”

“Oh, my sweetheart, there is no chance of us being late. We are coming,” she said and let Kazu take her hand and tug her along to the big auditorium where the entrance ceremony was going to be held. In front of the door, she knelt in front of him and straightened his uniform before she bopped his nose and kissed his forehead.

“You go to the front with the others, okay?”

“Okay,” he said with a bright grin. “I’m going to be smart, right?”

“Very smart,” she agreed and kissed his forehead. “Off you go then. Listen to the teachers, alright?”

“Yes, when they call my name I have to go to the front, and greet sensei,” he nodded. She agreed, and Kazu turned around to run off to take a free seat in the first row.

She sighed as she stood and looked for two free seats with Mamoru, who chuckled softly.

“Sorry,” he said at her small glare. “But you are very emotional. More so than with Mina and Satoshi I think.”

“It’s just really the last time now. Our little boy has grown so much. There will be a lot of things happening for the last time from now on as he grows,” she said with a smile. It has never been easy with Kazu, but he was a very loving little boy that had fallen into their life those three years ago who was mistreated as a baby.

Now Kazu was a bright little boy that always had naughty thoughts and loved to play little pranks. Keiko knew she was soft on him, but it was hard to scold him when he looked at her with big bright eyes, free from any fear about being stuck or hurt. He still liked to cuddle though, more than his siblings had when they were his age.

Mamoru held her around the shoulders as they listened to the entrance ceremony.

“You know,” Keiko mumbled as they sat outside the school and waited for Kazu to finish the first two hours of lesson.

“What is going on in your mind?”

“I worry about all of our children, but I fear for him the most. He had a rough start, and there lie things in his past that we still don’t know about and that haunt him if he remembers them or not. It will be rough sailing for him, and I fear the moment we can’t protect him anymore. The world is cruel, and it might be hard for him to adjust and rise to the expectations others have for him.”

“We will always be at his side, and make sure he is perfect as he is,” Mamoru reminded him, and she nodded.

“Yes, and I really hope that is enough,” she whispered and stood as the bell rang. They both knew that the drug abuse had left their tracks in the boy which he still had to fight and maybe forever has to suffer from.

A smile was on her face when Kazu ran out of the building, and she bent down to catch the little boy in her arms when he called out for them.

Kazu giggled as she swayed him in his arms. “How was the first lesson?”

“Sooo fun, sensei is very nice. She said I’m good at writing my name,” he explained with a grin.

“Oh, aren’t you a smart little boy?”

He grinned proudly and hugged her around the neck. “What will we do now?”

“The first day of school calls for a celebration, of course. So I thought we could go to that ice cream parlour you really like. And later when Satoshi and Mina come home, we’ll, of course, celebrate with cake, and you can play in the garden.”

“I want a big ice-cream, with cream and sprinkles and chocolate sauce!” Kazu declared wriggling to be put down by her and then running over to Mamoru to hug him.

“Papa I’m good right? Sensei said my strokes are pretty, that’s because you practised with me so much!”

“You’re perfect, and I’m glad all your hard work was helpful.” he agreed as he swayed him a bit from side to side, chuckling when Kazu giggled loudly. They ignored the slightly confused stares of people around them as they left the school fully now to go for that ice cream.

Kazu got everything he wanted and told his parents everything he had learnt in that short time. He was just too excited.

—

Late in the night, Keiko was awoken by little knees that dug into her back. She turned around and smiled as he saw a sleep-drunken Kazu on the bed.

“Bad dreams my sweet child?”

“May I sleep with you and papa?”

“Of course, my sweet child. Come into our midst,” she whispered and helped him to climb over her and get comfortable in their midst.

“Thank you, mama,” he whispered and snuggled up to the woman. She smiled and hugged him close as she started to hum his favourite lullaby until he fell to sleep. She kissed his sweet-smelling hair, wondering when the last time for spending the night with him like that would be.

She smiled the next morning when Kazu waved at her with a bright smile, before taking the hand of his big brother and walking to school together with him.

He skipped alongside him, looking around curiously before getting a bit slower.

“Toshi?”

“Yes, what is it Kazu?”

“Do you mind walking me to school?” he asked and laid his head to the side.

“No, why should I?”

“Because one boy in class said that his big brother doesn’t like to play with him because he said he’s a baby. Which is wrong, right? I’m no baby. So he can’t be either.”

“Many older siblings think that it’s childish to play with their younger siblings. But I like to play with you because you can think of the most fun games.”

Kazu smiled brightly and hugged him. “It’s the most fun to play with you also,” he agreed. “But I also like to play with Masa.”

“That’s good,” Satoshi agreed. “And now we should race to school, or we will be late.”

Kazu’s eyes widened in shock as he giggled and then ran with him hand in hand.

At school, Satoshi made sure that they were both presentable and grinned. “You have mama’s lunch, right?”

“Uhn,” he agreed, hopping up and down. “Mama said to make sure I finish it.”

“Yup, and we can meet in the yard when the lunch bell rings if you want?”

Kazu tripped from foot to foot as he nodded. “With Masa?”

“Only if I can bring a friend.”

Kazu scrunched up his nose and then nodded. “Okay,” he mumbled.

Satoshi grinned and ruffled his hair. “Now go to your class, sensei will wait for you already.”

“Yes, Nii-chan!” Kazu said as he waved and ran off into the building. Satoshi chuckled as he followed him to his class just soon after.

Satoshi waited for him in front of his classroom just as he had promised him earlier together with Sho-kun.

“Hello Sho-senpai,” he said grinning proudly that he had remembered.

“Hello, Kazu-kun,” the older greeted him with a chuckle. Kazu grabbed Satoshi’s hand, which let him outside to a bench where they often ate lunch together.

“Masa!” Kazu greeted happily when he saw the other boy already there.

“I met him this morning before classes and told him to come.”

“Thank you, Toshi.”

“Now let’s eat. You remember what mama told you?”

“Yes,” Kazu said with a giggle. As he opened the bento box, he had been hugging close to his chest the whole way. He grinned happily at the delicious looking treats and finally started eating them, talking to the rest while doing so.

Kazu grinned happily and thought to himself that school was just as much fun as he had thought it would be.

A/N: A short one, sorry

Chapter Text

“Goodbye!” Kazu said to his friends and waved at them after they were allowed to leave school for the day.

“Bye Kazu, until tomorrow.”

“Uhn,” the boy nodded with a grin. He waved again before turning around and running home.

At home, he carefully opened the door, and as silently as he could, he took off his shoes and dragged his bag to the living room in search for his mother. He tried not to be too loud in case his big brother was sleeping because his mama had told him that a lot of sleep would help Satoshi to get over his cold.

And Kazu wanted Satoshi to get healthy again, because he really, really wanted to play with him again.

He found his mother in the kitchen and grinned happily when he ran over to hug her.

“I’m home,” Kazu declared happily.

Keiko smiled down at the boy who was brimming with pride. She ruffled his hair. It was the very first time that Kazu had come home all on his own. This morning Mamoru had brought him to school on his way to work, and it was a big step for Kazu to not walk with his brother.

“Welcome home, Kazu. Do you have any wishes for your afternoon snack?”

“May I have fruits?”

“Yes, but also some vegetables,” Keiko reminded him. He wrinkled his nose but then nodded.

“I want carrots, cucumber and strawberries? Do we have strawberries, mama?”

“You are lucky.”

Kazu cheered happily as he jumped up and down and did a little dance in his joy. Keiko chuckled and smoothed down his hair.

“Mama?”

“Yes?”

“How is Sato-nii? Is it better?”

“Satoshi is resting, Kazu. He still is ill.”

Kazu pouted but nodded. “But if you are good and do your homework you and he can sit under the Kotatsu and watch some cartoons. Sounds good?”

“Yay,” Kazu said happily again and then ran up to the bathroom to finally wash his hands and face after Keiko reminded him to do so.

He hopped down the stairs and back to the kitchen where already a big plate with his afternoon snack was waiting for him. Keiko sat across from him with some vegetable sticks herself, watching him eat and talk about what he had learnt today at school.

“Oh, mama?”

“Yes, sweet child?”

Kazu wriggled a bit on his seat before putting the last piece of cucumber into his mouth, munching on it and then retrieving his bag. He rummaged through it a bit until he held a piece of paper in his hand. He was a bit nervous about it, but Keiko was looking very calmly at him, so he took a big breath and held it out for her.

“Sensei said if we want we can join an afternoon club finally. And I want to go to the music club,” he said in a small voice. He liked making music during class, and he would love to do more, but he understood that it was maybe more expensive than other choices. Satoshi took several clubs because he didn’t know what he wanted to do and was interested in everything. But they were all for free. Their music teacher had said that if they really wanted to stay in the class, they needed an instrument at home.

“Ah yes, you wanted to go since the start of the school year. I can’t believe that it has been half a year already,” Keiko said as she read the paper. “Do you already know which instrument you want to play?”

“Nu-uh,” Kazu said as he shook his head. “Sensei said the first weeks are for trying them out and deciding.”

“That sounds fun,” she smiled.

He grinned happily as he realised that this meant that he probably was allowed to do it.

“But Kazu.”

“Yes?” he asked a bit nervously.

“If we decide to buy an instrument, later on, you need to stick to it for at least a year, okay?”

“What does that mean?”

“Kazu, you know how Satoshi does many things?”

“Uhn, he says it’s fun to be able to do a different thing each day,” he said with a grin.

“Yes, he does, ne? And it’s only possible because he chose clubs that don’t have extra costs but are paid from the school fees. Mina also took only one club when she was at primary.”

Kazu nodded with a giggle. “And I can play with Masa-kun and Jun-kun while I wait for him to finish.”

Keiko chuckled. “Do you know what Masaki-kun and Jun-kun do?”

Kazu frowned as he played at the straps of his bag pack. “They want to do basketball and baseball,” he said in a small voice.

“And you don’t want to do that? You like catch-ball.”

“Yup catch-ball is fun with papa,” he said with a happy nod. “Basketball is scary, though. And all kids are so big. Like Masa-kun,” Kazu said with a shudder.

Keiko chuckled softly and reached out to ruffle his hair.

Kazu stared down at the table, his brows furrowed as he thought this over. “Mama?”

“Yes?”

“Can I do two things? If I promise to stick with it?” Kazu was wrinkling his nose at the unknown word. He was not so sure what sticking to it meant.

“Which two things?”

“Baseball and music class.”

Keiko chuckled and nodded as she bopped the top of his nose. “Only if you promise me that you will go to swimming classes next summer as well.”

Kazu pursed his lips at those and thought about that before he nodded after while. The swimming pool for big people was scary because it was so deep. He liked the low one for little children much better. His mother had wanted him to take lessons this year, but he had cried and panicked until his parents agreed that he didn’t have to do it this time.

“Okay. I will be brave,” he promised with a low voice.

“I know you are always my brave little fighter,” she said. She rubbed his cheeks and smiled. “Okay, you need to bring me the application forms for both clubs, okay?”

“Yes, thank you, mama,” he cheered and hugged him around the neck. He kissed her cheeks and then skipped away to clean his place and pull out his homework. He knelt on the chair to reach the table a bit better, as he started to copy the ne characters they had learnt today.

Keiko tidied up around him, answering his questions from time and time and checked up on Satoshi who had finally woken up again and walked down the stairs and was already all snuggled up under the Kotatsu with rice porridge he was slowly eating. He was still a bit sluggish but actually more awake than the morning.

“Mama finished!” Kazu yelled and jumped from the chair with his workbook to show her. She checked the writings and ruffled his hair lovingly.

“Those are perfect. You did really well,” she praised, and he grinned happily before he crawled under the Kotatsu beside Satoshi.

“Hello, Sato-nii. How are you feeling?”

“Better, thanks Kazu,” he whispered and hugged him for a moment. Keiko put tea on the table and then offered Satoshi the control.

Satoshi took it, and Kazu grinned happily as he snuggled up beside his brother. “Mama said I did good at writing my characters,” he chirped. “And I can start the music class and baseball.”

“Oh, that’s nice,” Satoshi whispered and ruffled his hair as he chose a cartoon for them to watch.

“Ne Sato-nii?”

“What is it, Kazu?”

“Will you get healthy really fast?”

“Uhn, but mama says it will take a week.”

Kazu frowned unhappily as he tucked himself closer to the other.

“What is it, Kazu?” Satoshi asked in a whisper as they were alone again.

“It was scary walking all alone, Sato-nii,” he whispered in a tiny voice.

“What was scary?”

“School says not to talk to strangers.”

“Yup.”

“So strangers are scary. An old man greeted me, and then I ran,” he confessed.

Satoshi chuckled and shook his head as he hugged him close. “Kazu you don’t have to run away, okay? But you can’t go with strangers.”

“Uhn, mama said never to go with people who don’t know the password,” he said in a stage whisper and big eyes.

“Yup, see. So if you don’t go with anybody, you can say hello if they greet you. We do when we are together, right?”

“Uhn,” Kazu said and looked up at him for a moment. “But things are scarier all alone,” he mumbled.

“That’s true. But you can go home with Masaki or Jun, right? At least part of the ways. You don’t have to go home all alone, starting at school. And you did, right?”

Kazu blushed slightly and looked down. “I didn’t think about that. I was so excited about having to go home all alone that I just ran off after saying goodbye.”

“Stupid,” Satoshi giggled. “We always walk with Masa and Jun and Sho.”

“I forgot. And they didn’t tell either.”

“Because they would’ve waited for Sho.”

Kazu frowned and then nodded as understanding dawned upon him. He kissed Satoshi’s cheek before jumping to his feet and running up to Keiko to ask her if it was okay if he came home later the next days together with the others, which she laughed at but then agreed rather readily. Everything to make her little boy more comfortable.

Chapter Text

“Sweet child, it’s time to wake up,” Keiko said softly as she entered the room of her son. Usually, Kazu would be already awake and help her preparing breakfast, so she was surprised and worried as not to see the little boy down.

Kazu made a small noise and rolled to his side, blinking up at her blearily. He hadn’t slept well since he couldn’t fall asleep the night before and now felt like he hadn’t managed to sleep even a tiny bit.

“Mama,” he mumbled, holding out his arms with a small whine in the back of his throat. Keiko frowned softly and sat down on the bed beside him.

“Are you ill, Kazu?”

“I don’t feel good,” he mumbled and buried his head in her stomach after he had robbed a bit closer.

Keiko smiled softly as she caressed his silky hair and rubbed the back of his head before checking him for any fever. When his forehead felt normal, she rubbed his shoulders and hummed softly. “What is it, Kazu?”

“My tummy hurts, mama.”

“Are you feeling ill, like you need to throw up?” she clarified, and he thought about it for a moment, before half shaking half nodding his head in answer. He felt strange and not good, and the thought of having to get up and leave for school made it all worse.

“A bit,” he said in the end.

She sighed and caressed his face. Maybe Kazu was getting ill and if so it was probably better if she kept him home for today so that he could settle down and hopefully feel better again very soon.

“Okay, I’ll call the school that you’ll be absent today. Do you want anything for breakfast?”

“Not hungry, mama,” he mumbled, and she sighed.

“Then try to go back to sleep, okay? When Mina and Satoshi are off to school I’ll bring you some porridge, sounds good?”

“Uhn, thank you, mama,” Kazu said with a shy smile as he rolled up on his side and held his stomach that was aching right now. He buried his head in the cushions and tried to fall back to sleep.

He was dozing off when the door opened again, and Satoshi peeked in with a worried look on his face. “Mama said you are ill, little brother?” he said, and Kazu nodded.

“Tummy hurts,” he whined. “Really badly.”

“Huh?” Satoshi mumbled and then slipped in entirely. He knelt in front of the bed and caressed his brow with his fingertips. “You were not feeling well the last few days also, right?”

Kazu nodded a little and sighed. “But today is worse,” he mumbled. “I’m not lying.”

“Didn’t say that,” Satoshi reminded him and then presented him with a heating pad. “Look I even brought that, I snatched it from Mi-nee. She uses it when she has a hurting stomach,” he explained with a smile.

Kazu blinked at the pad but allowed Satoshi to plug it in and put it on the middle setting before pressing it against Kazu’s stomach. “I have to go to school now. My new teacher is really strict. We have to do detention when we are late,” he said with a pout.

“Take care, ne Kazu? I’ll come home as soon as possible.”

Kazu nodded and smiled when Satoshi pecked his cheek before getting to his feet and running out of the room. He sighed as he hugged the heating pad close to himself. It helped a little bit, he thought as he almost fell to sleep again, but stayed awake to say goodbye to his father and sister as well, who both came up to his room before they left for school and work, before finally falling asleep again.

—

“You look much better,” Keiko said with a smile as she entered the room a few hours later with the rice porridge on a tray. She had left Kazu to sleep for a bit longer when she had seen that he finally was deep asleep.

“I feel better, my stomach doesn’t hurt anymore,” he said as he pulled off the heating pad. He rubbed his eyes and smiled at his mother, who put the tray down on his legs.

“That’s good, my sweet child. Eat this, and then you can go to the living room and watch some TV, okay?”

“Uhn, thank you,” he said happily at that promise. Keiko chuckled as she mostly offered it because she knew from the other two that they got bored quickly and it was less hassle for her to have them watch TV than having them call her often. Also, in the living room, she could keep an eye on them more easily.

Satoshi came home in the afternoon and did his homework before taking the time to play a few board games with Kazu until it was time for dinner and then for them to go to bed.

Keiko sat down at Kazu’s bed again as she put him to bed and caressed his side. “How are you feeling?”

“Better,” he mumbled with furrowed brows.

Keiko chuckled as she smoothed down the crease with her fingers. “That’s good, ne? Then you can go back to school tomorrow, right?”

“Right,” Kazu agreed, wriggling a little in his bed as he sighed, closing his eyes. “Good night, mama.”

“Good night, sweet child. Sleep well.”

He nodded and rolled to his side to try and fall asleep.

—

Kazu opened the door to the bedroom of his parents carefully and peered inside. He sighed as he shuffled closer and then tugged at his mother’s sleeve until the woman opened her eyes. She was sleepy for a little moment before her eyes focused on Kazu and were alert right away when she saw that her little son was crying.

“Kazu, what is wrong? Why are you awake?” she asked and pulled him on her lap to close her arms around him.

“My tummy hurts mama. I can’t sleep,” he sniffled.

“Again?” she said with a worried tone and rechecked his temperature. She cupped his cheeks, and he nodded.

“Really badly. I don’t like it.”

“Of course not. Being hurt is never nice,” she agreed and picked him up when Mamoru mumbled something beside them. “Let’s head to the sofa, okay? There we can cuddle. Your papa needs to rest for work.”

“Uhn,” he said as he rubbed his eyes. He snuggled close to his mother as he let himself be carried downstairs. Keiko put him on the sofa before leaving him for a moment to make some tea to settle his stomach.

Kazu took the tea with both hands and then snuggled up to Keiko as his mother settled down beside him. He sighed and put his head on her shoulder, slowly relaxing as Keiko stroke his stomach until he felt slightly better.

He was still crying though which worried Keiko immensely. “Kazu, what is wrong? You don’t need to cry just because your stomach hurts, mh?” she said softly. It wasn’t the first time Kazu was ill, and even if Kazu, in general, wanted more snuggles and being close when he was sick, he usually didn’t react that badly to pain. The opposite was true, Keiko had soon realised. Even now, when Kazu almost remembered nothing about his former life, he wouldn’t feel pain as her other children, and he would seldom cry if he were hurt or ill. He often seemed to want to disappear and not be the cause of more work.

“I don’t think I like school very much,” he admitted in a small voice. “When I think about going to school, my tummy starts to hurt, really badly.”

“Why is that, Kazu? You liked going to school, ne? Playing with Jun-kun and Masaki-kun and going to the music club. Don’t you like that anymore? Or is it because Satoshi isn’t in your school anymore? But you can go to school and come home together, ne? And play in the afternoon.”

“I… I don’t mind Sato-nii being away. I’m happier if he’s there though,” he explained with a scrunched up face. He still liked being with his brother, but he didn’t need him around all the time anymore. “And I like playing with Jun and Masa.”

“But?”

He rubbed his eyes and hid his face against her shoulder again, sniffling slightly.

“Kazu, you need to tell me, or I can’t help you.”

“I don’t want to trouble you. Sensei said I always need to behave the best and be thankful for you, and it’ll be bad for me if I make you or papa sad,” he whispered. “And I miss Masa and Jun. It’s unfair that they are in another class. The boys in my class bully me, but sensei said that it’s my fault and I need to be nicer and that you would be very unhappy with me if I tell you or papa or if she has to tell you that I misbehave,” he said under sobs, that shook his whole body.

Keiko stiffened at his side and then pulled him on his lap to rock him from side to side. “Oh my sweet innocent child,” she whispered and kissed his head.

“You never, ever have to be worried about making me or papa unhappy, you understand, Kazu? You always can come to us, and we’ll listen and help you. We will never be mad at you.”

“But she scolds me always and says if she would tell you all the time how I don’t do as told you would give children like me away. I don’t want to go away,” he said as he looked at her with fear in his eyes. Keiko smiled and felt her heart breaking for her little boy. At the same time, she just wanted to walk up to his teacher and hurt that woman the same way she hurt Kazu.

“I would never, ever give you away, Kazu. You, Satoshi and Mina, it doesn’t matter what you all do you are my children. Oh, my sweet child. Why didn’t you tell me earlier, all that must have been so painful to hear and bear.”

“It’s so scary, mama. I’m sorry for not telling you and troubling you.”

“It’s not your fault, Kazu. I’m proud you managed to tell me now, and I promise you papa, and I will make it right again, okay?”

“I don’t want to go to school tomorrow, mama.”

“And you won’t have to, okay? You can stay here until we make it okay,” she promised and caressed his cheeks.

He sniffled but nodded after a moment, and he laid down against her shoulder, tears still streaming down his face. “Mama? What did she mean children like me?”

“Very special children, my sweetheart. It doesn’t matter what she meant, ne? She is just jealous.”

“Jealous?”

“Mhm,” Keiko said with a smile as she continued to rock him. She kissed his hair when she felt how he got heavier while at the same time fighting against his sleep and started to sing the old lullaby that always seemed to calm Kazu down.

“If they knew all about you
They’d end up loving you too
All those same people who scold you
What they’d give just for the right to hold you,” she sang in a low whisper, smiling when Kazu fell to sleep against her. She rocked him and then sighed softly.

“Everything alright?” Mamoru suddenly asked, and she blinked.

“Sorry I didn’t want to wake you.”

“Mhm… You didn’t. The bed was just too empty. Do you need help?”

“Yes, thank you,” she said with a smile as he picked up Kazu much more easily than she had done earlier.

“Is everything alright with him?”

“No, but we will make it again,” she whispered as she put a lock of Kazu’s hair behind his ear as he scrunched up his nose in sleep and then snuggled against his father.

“Papa,” he mumbled in his sleep, and Mamoru smiled.

“Let’s go back to bed. It seems like our little one needs special love tonight.”

Keiko smiled as she nodded. “Yes, that’s right. I’ll tell you in the morning.”

“Okay,” he agreed as he carried Kazu into their bedroom and put him in the middle of the bed. Kazu mumbled something under his breath but soon enough calmed down again when the blanket was pulled over him, and his parents settled down at his sides.

—

“Kazu?”

“Yes, papa?”

“Your mother told me what happened at school,” Mamoru said the next day carefully as they sat in bed while Keiko was downstairs preparing breakfast.

Kazu paled a little bit and then looked down at his hands. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“It’s alright. We are not mad at you. What your teacher did is not okay. If you go to her because others bully you, she needs to help you, not to scold you or tell you such lies about us. And it’s also not alright to tell you that we would give you away.”

Kazu nodded and nibbled at his lower lip. “You are not angry at me?”

“Never. You are my beloved little son, Kazu,” he said, ruffling his hair when Kazu smiled shyly at him. “But your mother and I need to talk to your headteacher about it. We’ll do that today.”

“I don’t want to go. Mama said, I don’t have to.”

“No, you don’t. Just me and your mother, ne? We’ll talk to them and make it alright for you to go back to school. You want to go back, right? Or do you want to change schools, Kazu?”

Kazu nibbled at his lips as he thought about it for a while. Somehow he knew that changing schools wouldn’t bring him to the same school as Satoshi and he really liked spending his breaks with Masaki and Jun, and they all were together at the baseball club. “I want to stay there,” he said. “But I don’t like sensei.”

“We’ll make sure you don’t have to go back to her class, I promise. But it might be that she will teach you in a class. We can’t do anything about that.”

Kazu looked at him with big eyes. “But you tell her not to be mean?”

“Of course. And if she does, you’ll come to us and tell us, okay? Whatever it is.”

“Okay, I can do that,” Kazu said. “I will try, at least.”

“Good boy,” Mamoru praised and smiled. “Shall we get down then? Mama already called your momma, and she will be here soon.”

“Momma will come?” Kazu asked with wide eyes.

“Yes, we can’t leave you all alone, ne?”

Kazu nodded in excitement at the thought of spending time all alone with his momma. Mamoru chuckled, and then they left to join the rest for breakfast.

“Kazu is staying home again?” Satoshi asked when he realised that Kazu was not wearing his school clothes yet. “Are you still ill?” he asked then Kazu who nibbled at his lips and stared down.

He was not really ill, at least his stomach didn’t hurt so much anymore, and also his heart felt a lot lighter than it had for the last few days, but he didn’t know what to say to his brother at the question.

“Kazu is not feeling well, Satoshi. So he will stay at home for the rest of the week. Don’t pout you still have to go.”

“But I want to snuggle with Kazu! If he is not feeling good, I will snuggle with him so that he will feel well again!” he declared.

Kazu giggled and kissed the cheek of his big brother. “We cuddle when school is over?” Kazu asked.

Satoshi pouted but then nodded as he got up when Mina tugged at his arm. “We are going to be late. Go and wear your uniform,” she said sternly, and with a pout, Satoshi ran up to his room to change into the shirt of his uniform.

Mina looked at Kazu and hugged him tightly. “Feel better soon, ne little brother?” she whispered and ruffled his hair.

Kazu nodded and giggled slightly. “Uhn, mama and papa said they would make it good again, right?”

Their parents nodded, and Mina grinned. “Good then, and you won’t listen to mean people again, alright? Or you’ll tell me, and I’ll hit them.”

“Mina,” Mamoru scolded, but he was chuckling.

Kazu grinned and hugged her back. “Okay Mi-nee,” he answered and then said goodbye to the other two as Satoshi was downstairs again and blinked confusedly.

“Mi-nee, what mean people?” he asked as they left and Kazu couldn’t hear the answer as the door closed. He sighed and ate his breakfast until the doorbell rang, and he excitedly ran up to open it, just to remember that his mother had forbidden him to open the door alone.

He grinned when Keiko appeared behind him and let his grandmother in. “Momma!” he cried happily hugging her tightly when she was inside and pulled him close.

“My, my,” she whispered and hugged him more tightly for a second. “We are going to have fun, ne Kazu? How about we bake some cookies?”

“Yay,” he cried out happily and did a little dance as he dragged her into the kitchen. Keiko chuckled as she had just finished cleaning and then ruffled Kazu’s hair.

“You’ll be okay,” she mumbled to herself as she thanked her mother again for looking after Kazu and got ready for their trip to school. She was just glad that Kazu hadn’t been told too much yet, it seemed, and she would make sure that the teachers knew precisely where the line for them was.

As promised, Keiko and Mamoru made sure that Kazu would be transferred to the same class as his friends and that the teacher was disciplined for overstepping the boundaries. They wanted to decide when and how to tell Kazu how he had come to their family, and even if Kazu remembered the way the teacher had handled, it was not in any way okay. And right now Kazu was still too young to understand everything. It was still better for his mind to think he was their biological child.

Chapter Text

Ohno was laying on the sofa, a drawing pad was on his lap, and he was twirling the pen rather lazily, staring at the paper with a small sigh, before his eyes wandered to his little brother who was kneeling in front of the low table of their living room. His legs under the kotatsu, enjoying the warmth and his back hunched over.

Nino had done his homework earlier, asking a question now and then, but it wasn't as if Ohno was able to help a lot. Kazu had always been better in school than he had been, and sometimes he thought his little brother had already passed him in their studies. It wasn't true since they were in the same schools so far and learnt the same things.

Satoshi looked back at the drawings. He was supposed to draw a still life for his art class, but he couldn't find it in him. He was not interested in that kind of things, and he knew that his teachers were annoyed with him always being difficult. He sighed when he saw that he had drawn Kazu's sleeping face - once again and fast put on another page so that nobody would notice.

He looked at the bowl of fruits Kazu had very helpfully prepared for him when he had whined about his homework with a frown, as his eyes wandered back to Kazu.

He grinned when he realised that the younger boy had earphones in as he was playing his game as not to disturb his concentration and stared at him. Satoshi sighed and closed his eyes as he leant back into the cushions, staring at the ceiling as not to touch the neck of the other boy.

"Sato-nii," Kazu suddenly asked, and he looked down at the boy who had removed his earphones and was looking at him with big eyes.

Satoshi blushed slightly as he stared at him and rubbed his face. "Yes, what's up?"

"Have you finished your picture yet?"

"Not yet, why?"

"Because I want to see it."

"It's just boring apples and pears."

Nino pouted and looked at him. "I love your pictures; they can't ever be boring."

Satoshi giggled at his words. His brother was too cute for words sometimes.

"So how many times did you lose already?"

"Three," Kazu said with a pout. "It's a hard level."

"Aww poor you," Satoshi said and ruffled his hair.

"Cuddle with me," he demanded. "I need comfort."

Satoshi gulped slightly, but there was no way he could not say yes to his pouting baby brother. He put the sketch pad to the side and opened his arms for Kazu, who grinned happily and climbed on the sofa beside Ohno, after putting his things down on the table.

"You enjoy cuddles way too much," Satoshi teased as he put his head on top of Kazu's and stared at the table. Nobody had told him that it had to be fruits, he thought as he saw the bag of crisps together with the handheld game machine of Nino, his headphones and some lip balm on the table. He could draw that with ease.

"Sato-nii?"

"Mh?"

"The auntie from down the street ne?"

"Yes, what's with her? It's the one with the dog, right?"

"Yup, the one I take for walks sometimes," Kazu confirmed with a smile.

"It's a cute one, ne?"

"I suppose. You know I'm not a big fan of dogs," Satoshi said, grinning when Kazu pouted at the reminder.

"But that's not what you wanted to tell me right?" he reminded him, poking his side.

"No… She… Ah well, doesn't matter, just silly thoughts."

"Kazu," Satoshi sighed, lifting his chin to look into his face. "What is bothering you?"

"She just said something that… I don't know. You remember how people asked me sometimes if I was out with my aunt when I was with mama?"

Satoshi tried hard to not stiffen beside the other and ruffled his hair. "Yup, stupid people."

Kazu smiled and nodded. "Right," he said not that convinced. "It's just strange sometimes."

"What is?"

"That… I dunno. People say I don't look like I belong to our family."

"Kazu," Satoshi sighed and hugged him tighter. "Of course you belong to our family. You are my beloved little brother, that sometimes gets very much on my nerves but who is also the best partner if it comes to causing trouble to Nee-chan. Okay? You belong to us."

Kazu looked at him with big eyes and Satoshi bit his lips as he saw the long beautiful dark lashes resting on his cheeks for just a moment, taking a deep breath.

"Right," Kazu agreed with a small smile. He grinned and kissed his cheek. "Thanks, Sato-nii. I want to have a snack, you too?"

"No, I had lunch."

Kazu blushed. He had skipped most of the lunch at home because they had food that he didn't like that much. Their parents wouldn't force them to eat, but at the same time wouldn't make something different just because they didn't like things that much. If it were things they hated or couldn't eat, it was something different, but as Kazu was a picky eater that some days wouldn't eat stuff, he usually liked it could be hard.

Satoshi chuckled when Kazu skipped to the kitchen to get himself a sandwich and stared at the back of his brother. He groaned and hid his face behind his hands. He was in so much trouble. He had realised slowly how he got more and more attracted to Kazu.

Kazu came back into the room with a plate with his sandwich and some vegetables and sat down at the table again.

Satoshi looked at him just for a while longer, his eyes wandering his neckline before he got up.

"Where are you going?"

"For a run. Somehow, I can't concentrate on drawing, maybe that will help. You wanna go?" he asked just for the sake of it, but just as he had thought Kazu wrinkled his nose.

"Nope. Have fun."

"I will what about dinner?"

"Nee-chan will prepare it when she comes home. At least mama said she should since mama and papa are out for the night."

"Ah," Satoshi said nodding. "Be a good boy and ask her if you need to buy groceries for dinner then."

"You do it."

"Your turn," Satoshi reminded him and grinned when Kazu pouted but pulled over his phone to text their sister.

—

It was weeks later that Satoshi found himself alone with Kazu at home. He had tried hard to stay away from home, staying over with friends a lot whenever it was possible and otherwise staying out as late as his parents allowed. He was glad that since Kazu was still thirteen, his parents were a lot stricter with his curfew than with Satoshi.

But tonight his parents were at his grandparents' house because his grandmother didn't feel well. Usually, Kazu would have gone with them, but since the younger boy had fought a cold the last week Keiko didn't want him to infect the old women, which was understandable.

And since Kazu was still thirteen, and recovering from the cold, Keiko also didn't want the boy to be alone, so Satoshi couldn't stay over with Sho like he had done for the last two months on weekends.

"How are you feeling?" Satoshi asked in a calm voice as he entered Kazu's room.

Kazu looked at him for a moment before he rolled to the side and pulled the blanket over his head without answering. Ohno sighed and held back his eyeroll before sitting down on the bed beside him, patting his hips.

"Kazu, are you feeling warm?"

"No," Kazu croaked, making Ohno smile as to how cute that sounded.

"Does your throat hurt?"

Kazu didn't answer anymore, and he patted his head.

"Mama prepared chicken soup for you. Do you want it now or do you want to sleep?"

"Sleep," Kazu mumbled and pulled the blanket over his head. "And you can go. You don't need to be with me!"

Satoshi flinched but didn't say anything more. He knew that he deserved it, for shutting Kazu out but it was for his good, Satoshi thought. It was just for as long as he needed to get his overboard feelings under control. Then he could repair their brotherly relationship. Because Satoshi was quite sure that he would destroy a lot more if he gave in because that meant telling Kazu all of the truth.

And for that, Satoshi thought as he closed the door after watching Kazu for a moment longer, Kazu was still too long, and it would not happen today. Their parents wanted to do it when Kazu was fourteen, and even then Satoshi was sure that Kazu was still too young to even think of lovers and saw him as a brother. Satoshi wanted to be the brother he always needed and not put feelings on him that Kazu would never be ready to give back.

He sighed and leant against the door for a moment, keeping his eyes closed, before walking away from the door and going to the living room. There he would still hear Kazu but was not so close to the other, and their living room was a family space. It was much easier to remind himself about Kazu being his little brother here than anywhere else.

A/N: This sucks… I'm sorry. I'm moving this forward, they are older now, and I hope the next parts will be better again.

Chapter Text

Kazu rolled up beside his mother on the sofa one afternoon after his weekend with Satoshi. He put his head on her lap when she allowed him and sighed softly as he closed his eyes.

“What is wrong, sweet child?” Keiko asked as she combed his hair with her fingers, smiling down at the boy. They would have to cut his hair soon again, or it would be too long for the school regulations, but since Kazu liked them a bit longer, they always went as long as possible before cutting it again.

“Mama, may I ask you something?”

“Of course, Kazu. What lays so heavy on your mind?”

“Do you think Sato-nii doesn’t like to be with me anymore?”

Keiko sighed softly and felt her heartbreak a little for her son. She hummed softly and put a strand behind his ear as she caressed his forehead.

“I don’t think he hates you, Kazu.”

“But he doesn’t want to play with me anymore. He always goes out until curfew.”

“But he took care of you when you were ill, ne?”

Kazu nodded with a small pout on his face. Even if he had forbidden himself to ask for anything Satoshi had always come inside to check in him and make sure that he ate. “But he doesn’t play with me anymore,” he said sullenly.

Keiko smiled and tapped her fingers along his nose to make him look up. “Satoshi has other friends now, Kazu. As have you. And they like to hang out outside more than being home. You remember that Mina was the same, right? She always went to shopping malls with her friends.”

Kazu nodded with a small pout on his face. “I remember,” he mumbled. “I didn’t like that either. But girls are loud and all giggly. Satoshi is friends with boys. I’m a boy as well.”

Keiko chuckled and nodded. “True, but they are already 16 and older. They are allowed to go to spaces and watch movies you are not allowed yet. So, of course, Satoshi spends more time with his friends. And as you said: You have friends of your own as well, that you hang out with.”

“But I wouldn’t mind Satoshi around,” he mumbled, scrunching up his nose then as he thought it over. Satoshi sucked at playing baseball. Same with some of his favourite video games. He sighed and looked up at Keiko.

“Are you sure he still likes me?”

“Of course, Kazu. You are his little brother. He loves you.”

Kazu grinned a bit brighter at the words and nodded as he hugged her. “And I love Sato-nii.”

“I know, my sweet child,” she whispered and ruffled his hair. “Do you want to help me make dinner? If so you can choose what we make,” she offered, laughing as he perked up at those words.

—

“Mum, can I sleep over at Sho’s place?” Satoshi asked over the phone, ignoring Sho’s grimace at the question and turned around at the muttered hiss of that Sho needed to study. It wasn’t as if he hindered him at that, as he mostly just sat on the floor or somewhere and read a manga. He knew that his moping didn’t help Sho to concentrate, but his mother mostly accepted the excuse of staying over at Sho’s place.

“Not today. I need you to come home,” Keiko said, and he grimaced.

“Why?” he asked with a pout. “Sho and I wanted to study.”

Keiko clicked her tongue slightly, and he felt a small shudder run down his back. “Oh, yes? Which college are you applying then?”

He stayed silent, biting his tongue, as he had already decided not to apply for any further education. He was not interested in that, and he already had an offer to learn at a bakery which was a great spot for him.

“Satoshi, come home now.”

“But…”

“We’ll be alone. Kazu is out with your father visiting your grandmother because he was feeling down that he couldn’t go last time. As your father has to do some work over there, he agreed to take him. They’ll stay there until Sunday. And I think we need to talk. You need to stop running away.”

“I’m not…”

“Satoshi,” she said sharply, and he stared down at the floor. He knew that tone and knew that defying her would end just in embarrassment that he didn’t want to deal with. He also could tell from her tone, that she was worried and that was the last thing he wanted.

“Okay. I’m coming home.”

“Good, hurry up, I bought raspberry cake with that chocolate cream from that great bakery down the street that you love.”

Satoshi rolled his eyes but had to smile at the words. It seemed that she was not mad at him at least.

“Okay, thanks, mum.”

“Of course.”

—

Satoshi sighed in relief when he saw that Kazu’s sneakers were really gone and then rolled his eyes at his thoughts. His mother would never lie to him, regardless of how unhappy she was at him, she would never lie to him about things that worried him.

“Mum, I’m home.”

“Welcome home, darling. I’m in the kitchen,” she called back, and he squared his shoulders as he walked to the kitchen.

“What are you making?” he asked as he saw her cutting things and tilted his head to the side.

“I thought we could make pizza tonight, how does that sound?”

“Good,” he said with a small smile. Neither his father nor Kazu liked pizza so they seldom had it. And he wanted the one his mother made more than the bought ones at fast food places.

“Go take a shower, okay? You look stressed.”

“Mum…” he started and tugged at his shirt.

“Satoshi,” she said as she turned around. She cleaned her hands at her apron and approached him as she cupped his cheek lovingly. “Never think that we are going to judge you and your worries.”

“But they are bad,” he said in a small voice, and she shook her head.

“Never so bad that it would turn us against you. Come on, take a shower, and then we’ll talk, okay?”

“Okay,” he whispered in a small voice, and she kissed his forehead like he was still her little child before letting him go.

—

Satoshi had calmed down a lot as he came down again and saw his mother waiting for him in the living room. The two slices of cake on the table. He sat down beside her, playing with his fork for a while, before taking a bite.

“So?” Keiko said with a soft nudge to his shoulder.

“I think, I want to graduate after this year,” he mumbled and stared at his ink-stained fingers. “I’m not good at academics.”

“You are not trying much,” she said in a fond voice. “Never say you are bad at it, you are just not interested in it.”

He hummed a bit and then nodded. He had never been interested in studying or getting into a good college.

“But you know that it might be hard for you to find a job if you graduate after this year, right?”

“Yes, college would widen the prospects, but I’m not fond of the thought of working in a company like dad.”

“I can’t see you in such a job either,” she said with a smile.

“Would dad be disappointed?”

“I don’t think so. We want you all to be happy with your life.”

Satoshi nodded and took another, bigger bite.

“But that’s not why you are staying away from home, right?” she prodded gently.

He coughed slightly putting the fork down as he shook his head. “No.”

“It’s because of Kazu.”

“No… Yes… I… It’s my fault, not his.”

“I understand that,” she said and he looked up at her, worry and fears evident in his eyes.

“How can you understand when I can’t? I am an awful person.”

“No, you’re not,” She argued with a sigh and tugged him close to hug him.

He shook in her arms and shook his head. “I’m abnormal. It’s not right. I can’t…”

“What is it?”

“You know what I mean.”

“Tell me,” she prodded again, and he took a shaky breath.

“I… I think, I love Kazu more than brotherly love,” he whispered after a moment and closed his eyes. His heart felt heavy at the admission, but somehow his shoulders seemed lighter at the same time. It was a strange feeling, and something he hadn’t thought would happen. He took another shaky breath as he felt tears run over his cheeks as it was the first time he had said those words out loud.

He hid his face against her shoulder, and she started to rock him from side to side as she hummed against his ear to calm him down at least a bit.

“My poor darling. It must have hurt so much for you to keep it in.”

“Don’t hate me,” he whispered. “Please I will keep it down I can bury it, I promise. I just need time.”

“Satoshi, Satoshi. I never will hate you. You and Kazu had such a strong bond right from the beginning. I can’t say that this is the most normal thing to happen. But it also doesn’t mean you have to carry such a burden alone. We are your family, and you should be able to trust us with such things so that we can help you.”

“But…”

She shook her head and wiped away his tears. “If you love him, Satoshi, it’ll be hard to bury it. But I agree that you should hold back.”

“How can you be so calm?” he asked with a frown. He had been worrying about this so much, and here he was, in his mother’s arms, and everything seemed only half as bad as he had feared.

“Because I’m not blind. Do you think I have never seen how you look at him? How you have realised that there was growing more inside of you than you had thought possible first, the shock, the hurt and the fear?”

He blushed slightly and stared down at his hands. “I tried to hide it.”

“And you did a good job more or less, but me and your father. We are your parents. We already saw through your lies when you were in your diapers. And let me tell you: You haven’t gotten better at them.”

“Then Kazu…”

“Kazu has no idea,” she whispered. “But he is hurt because you turned away from him.”

Satoshi nodded and bit his lip. “But I don’t trust myself. Not yet. I can’t be close to him, right now. The weekend had been hard. I wanted to kiss him as he slept so peacefully,” he admitted, his face red from his shame and tears were close to breaking out again. He had hated himself then so so much. He had wanted to run away and never come back.

“I see,” she hummed and caressed his cheek again until he calmed down. “But Satoshi, you can’t run away, you know that, right? You might destroy your relationship that way. And I know it’s hard and I will tell you again, to not say anything to Kazu, because he sees you as his big brother nothing else. Your feelings will overwhelm and confuse him.”

“I know,” he grumbled. I would never want to hurt him like that. I don’t want to hurt him ever, but I can’t do anything else right now.”

“I know, darling.” She sighed and squeezed his fingers. “Just don’t run from everybody anymore, alright? I’m here if you need to talk.”

Satoshi nodded with a small smile. “Thank you, mum,” he whispered and sighed as he snuggled up against her side, suddenly yearning for the warmth and motherly love from the other woman, who readily put her arm around his shoulder and rocked him slightly.

“You’re strong, Satoshi. And I don’t want you to hate yourself, okay? You are not a bad person. You’re just in love.”

“A love that isn’t right.”

“Maybe not for the majority, but it’s your feelings, and for you, they are there.”

He breathed out shakily and nodded as he closed his eyes.

“We’ll protect you both, okay? You are not alone.”

“You’ll tell dad?”

“Yes, he will understand.”

“Promise?”

“Mhm… And Satoshi?”

“Yes?”

“Please try to be home more often, okay? I will make sure you both are not alone, okay? Don’t hurt yourself in that way.”

“I’ll try,” he promised. “Will you hold me for a while longer?”

“Of course, darling.”

He smiled softly and made himself smaller, imagining for a while that he was back to a little child full of trust that his parents will always make it all better again.

A/N: Keiko is probably too understanding, but she has seen this happening already and had the time to accept it before facing Satoshi about it. I hope it’s okay and makes sense.

Chapter Text

Kazu was staring at the board game they were playing with a concentrated frown on his face. It was an old game that his father had found in the back of his wardrobe and wanted to play tonight. His mother had told them that now that the older siblings were out more often they should meet regularly for a game night about once a month and Kazu was really enjoying it. He missed Mina a lot when she was at college and Satoshi was out with friends a lot, often overnight and he was still slightly mad at his brother for not playing with him as often as he used to do.

In general, he understood what Keiko had explained to him, about Satoshi having other interests than he had and of course other friends he wanted to hang out with, but still… Satoshi had promised him to be always there, and he was unhappy about the lie, because deep inside, it felt like Satoshi had lied to him.

But for now, he didn’t want to think of that but win this game. He was sure that he had figured out the riddles slowly he was just not entirely sure just yet.

“Your turn Kazu, what do you want to do?” Mamoru asked. He had an amused twinkle in his eyes as he looked at Kazu who nibbled at his lips. His eyes wandered back up to figure out how many times he was still allowed to move his figure and how far it was for the next oracle. He looked back at his paper with the scribbled notes, and then his eyes lightened up. Maybe his hunch was right and if not it might give him just the last idea he needed to win this game.

“I move!” he decided then and moved the figure two spaces to the front, sitting a bit straighter, as he watched the others do their rounds. He just needed two more steps forward to reach the oracle and hoped nobody would be able to put anything in front of him.

Satoshi beside him was mumbling lowly as he made scribbles on his paper. It was clear that he had no idea yet about his card, and he felt a bit bad for the older boy, but then he remembered that he was still mad at him and looked away again.

He presented his father with his guessing card, brimming in excitement as his father schooled his expression not to give any away as he checked his guesses and put down the numbers very slowly. “Papa!” he whined when he checked the theories over again.

Mamoru chuckled and gave him the card back. “So with that, I suppose you are the Jade King,” he said, and Kazu cried out in joy. He jumped to his feet and did a little dance.

“I won, I got it right,” he sang, giggling when he fell over his feet and on Mamoru’s lap who ruffled his hair.

“So, you did. How did you like the game? I played it when I was your age.”

“It’s fun, but also complicated,” he said with a pout. “But I want to play it again.”

“Then we can put it down as a fixed game for these nights, okay?”

“Yay,” he cheered and sat down back at his place when the others giggled at his antics as they cleaned the game away before Satoshi was allowed to choose the next game. He munched on some of the popcorn his other had made freshly for tonight. They were allowed all the junk food and sweet drinks they usually were not allowed to have and alone because of that he was totally okay with their game nights. He loved it.

—

“Sato-nii?”

“Yes, what is it Kazu?” Satoshi asked as he stretched out his back. He looked at the boy who was looking a bit nervous at him, but also like he has set his mind to whatever it was.

“I got chocolates for Valentine’s Day!”

Satoshi stiffened slightly but nodded. “I see, congratulations? But I hope you have eaten them so far? It has almost been a month?”

Kazu pouted but nodded after a moment, his cheeks slightly pink as he stared down at the floor. He intertwined his fingers and shuffled his feet as he peaked up at him.

Satoshi took a calming breath as he watched his very adorable brother and his reaction.

“They were good,” Kazu said in a whisper.

“And why are you telling me that?”

“What can you give them back?” he asked in a rush. It was the first time he had gotten some other than his sister, and he really didn’t know what to do now as to give something back.

“It depends.”

“Depends on what?” Kazu was looking up with big curious eyes and Satoshi bit the inside of his cheek softly, before sighing.

“If you like her or not.”

“She’s nice,” Kazu said the blush intensifying and it hurt to see the other reacting that way, but he had to buckle up. He was his little brother after all, and it was a very exciting thing for Kazu. One of those things that were hard but that Satoshi, of course, wanted to share with him.

“Then we shall think of something to make sure she knows you like her back, right?”

Kazu brightened up and hugged him around the neck. “Thank you, Sato-nii! Asking mama was embarrassing. We need to get the best thing, yes?”

“Of course.”

—

“I can’t believe you decided to stop your education,” Kazu breathed as they stood outside after the ceremony. Keiko had taken a few pictures of Satoshi alone and then group shots of different people in it.

“I was never as bright as you or Nee-san,” Satoshi said with a chuckle. He was actually rather happy with his decision and of course overly delighted that his parents had supported him. He had been so scared that his father would be disappointed especially with all the other things going on, but just like Keiko Mamoru had not batted an eyelid as he had hugged Satoshi and told him that everything was going to work out in the end.

“You are not dumb!” Kazu grumbled as he glared at him.

Satoshi smiled and ruffled his hair. It was cute how Kazu was still protective of him, especially when it came down to things like that. And he didn’t stop in front of anybody.

“I didn’t say that. I just never enjoyed studying as much as you and Nee-san.”

Kazu nodded and giggled. “That’s because you are lazy,” he grinned.

Satoshi tweaked his nose but agreed as he pinched his cheek, enjoying the giggling mess that Kazu was.

“Boys, calm down. We should go to the restaurant. I’m sure the others are already waiting for us.”

Kazu’s face closed down a little bit at the mention of the rest of their family waiting for them. He enjoyed spending time with all of his grandparents, but it meant that his aunt would be there as well as his cousin. And somehow they always had sharp remarks about his behaviour - it was never good enough for them - and his cousin ever bullied him.

He looked up in surprise as Satoshi’s arm closed around his shoulders and smiled down at him. “Let’s go, right? I know that they have the most delicious hamburger.”

“Hamburgers are childish,” Kazu said as he wrinkled his nose and kicked a little stone away.

“Not if you love it. How can food be childish? Does it wear funny masks and sing songs?”

Kazu giggled and shook his head. “But it would be fun, right? Do you think they would do dances as well?”

“Maybe? How would a hamburger dance look like?” Satoshi asked, smiling when Kazu hummed in thought and then made a few dance moves, singing a made-up song about hamburgers.

Satoshi grinned as he saw the happy face of his brother and was really happy that he was able to comfort him with little touches like that so easily. He looked at his parents, feeling warm when they smiled back at them proudly.

Satoshi sneaked into Kazu’s room in the night. He knew it was not right, but he couldn’t help himself. He was careful as not to wake up his parents or Kazu and looked at the sleeping boy for a moment.

He sighed and felt better as he saw how peaceful Kazu looked. He had been nervous the whole dinner and close to tears as their aunt had made some stupid comments. And Satoshi always was scared that that vile woman would let slip out that Kazu was adopted and not their real relative. He didn’t know what he would have done then, but Satoshi supposed that it helped that their grandparents had warned her that she would be excluded from their will if she mentioned anything rather early.

“You’re so very strong, Kazu,” he whispered, holding out his hand to caress his cheek. But he stopped just before his fingertips would touch the soft skin. Kazu let out a shaky breath in his sleep murmuring, and for a moment Satoshi feared that the other would wake up and see him, but he didn’t. He moved his hand away and made sure the blanket was still covering Kazu. He then walked over to Kazu’s desk and put a button inside one of the drawers. Somehow it felt right to give it to Kazu and nobody else.

—

“You’re going to be home then, right?”

“Of course, it’s Kazu’s birthday. He even gave me an invitation because he was so excited about his calligraphy classes.”

“I need you home the day after as well, Satoshi.”

Satoshi grimaced but nodded. “You’re going to tell him?”

“Yes, we can’t wait forever, and we wanted to wait until he is 14. Waiting for too long after that day will just hurt him.”

“It will hurt either way.”

“Yes, I know that, Satoshi,” Keiko said with a frown. She wished never to have to tell Kazu anything, but that would be unfair. “I don’t want to hurt him. But if his birth mother asked about him, they might give her information because of his age. I want to be the one to tell him.”

“Why do I have to be there?” Satoshi asked. He wanted to be there for Kazu of course, at the same time though he didn’t want to see the betrayal in Kazu.

“Because he loves you, Satoshi. You are his big brother that he trusts. If he gets upset with us, it might help him if you are there to turn to for him.”

Satoshi sighed and took a deep breath. “Okay, I can do that, I think,” he whispered, closing his eyes for a second before opening them again and looking at his mother. “But I’m sure he’ll be fine. He knows your love for him is honest.”

“Hopefully,” she mumbled, nibbling at her lower lip. Satoshi sighed and hugged her tightly. He could just imagine how hard it was on Keiko. His parents had always thought about telling Kazu and when the right time would be, but somehow something always happened or the time didn’t seem to be right so that he could understand her fear, but he was very sure that Kazu would be understanding. After all, Kazu had already forgiven him for behaving awfully to him before.

Chapter Text

Ohno woke up early the day after Kazu’s birthday. He stared a the ceiling for a while, with a little smile as he remembered the sparkle in Kazu’s eyes as his whole family was there and celebrated him. Of course, the presents they had gotten him were also a big reason for him to be that happy. It had its peaks to be the baby of the family Ohno supposed with a small chuckle. Neither he nor Mina were making presents themselves or have to get something with the little pocket money they had.

He then sighed and rolled out of bed, as he remembered that they had pampered Kazu more than usual yesterday because of what they were going to tell him today.

He rubbed his face and walked downstairs when he could hear someone from the kitchen. He smiled softly as he saw their mother washing down the kitchen counters.

“Morning, mum. Have you already cooked everything we had in the fridge?” he asked as he kissed her cheek.

She huffed and hit him softly on top of the head. “Brat.”

“Sorry, but when you are nervous, you tend to do such things.”

She sighed and pressed her eyes close before folding the hand towel she had used to dry the counter.

“How long have you been awake?” he asked, looking at the sumptuous breakfast she had already prepared and the meals for the rest of the weeks lunches that were put away in containers to cool down.

“Three hours.”

He paled slightly. “Have you ever gone to bed and sleep?”

She shrugged and turned around to look at Satoshi. Ohno watched her with a fond look as he saw the worry in Keiko’s eyes.

“Kazu is strong,” he whispered. “He won’t turn his back on you, mum. He loves you too much for that.”

“He will be so hurt. I never wanted to hurt any of you, and he was such a small, vulnerable boy when we got him,” she whispered, staring through the door behind Satoshi, making sure to keep the stairs in her sight to make sure Kazu was not coming down the stairs. “He was so scared. I just fell in love with him. He is such a sweet child.”

“He is,” Ohno agreed with a sigh. “He is such a wonderful human being, and it’s thanks to you.” It had gotten more comfortable for him to say those things about his brother, even if it still stung because he knew he was never allowed to love him outwardly as he did inwardly right now.

“But…”

“Yes, he will be shocked, he will be hurt, but he will come to understand why you did what you did and why you wouldn’t want to tell him earlier. He is smart and level minded if given the possibility. He might run away first, though to sort out his thoughts.”

“I fear that. I hope he would go with you.”

“He might, but he might also ask if I knew and I won’t lie to him then.”

Keiko nodded in understanding, stroking his cheek as she saw the same fear she felt hiding in his eyes. “He is strong,” she then agreed. “And I called the parents of his friends so that they’ll be warned. But…”

“If he runs out I will follow him to make sure he arrives safely,” Ohno promised with a grin, chuckling when she finally relaxed slightly.

“Then you probably should go take a shower.”

“Uhn, try not to rearrange the cabinets?”

“Brat go now!” she ordered as she shushed him. Ohno giggled softly as he retreated to leave for the shower and to get ready so that he could leave if needed.

—

“Kazu can you come down for a minute?” Keiko called the boy after she had cleaned the kitchen after breakfast, and the rest had left her alone.

She had tried to tell herself that she should tell Kazu on another day. The boy had been talking all about the fun game he had gotten from his grandparents the day before, but she knew she shouldn’t keep it from him longer.

“A minute, mama!” he yelled down, and she rolled her eyes but agreed, looking at Mamoru who smiled and kissed her temple.

“It’ll be fine,” he promised.

“I hope so,” she whispered and leant against him for a second until they could hear Kazu running down the stairs.

“Mama, what is it? I want to build the dungeon poppa got me,” he said with a frown.

“You can do that later. We need to tell you something. Sit down please?”

Kazu nodded as he sat on the sofa and blinked. “Did I do something wrong?” he asked in a small voice. “I didn’t start a fight or were naughty.”

“Oh, no, my sweet child. You were perfect and did nothing wrong,” Keiko said as she sat beside him. She sighed and took his hand in between her own. “It’s just something that Mamoru and I need to tell you. So please listen?”

Kazu nodded and stared at her with big eyes. His eyes wandered to Mamoru who smiled down at him and ruffled his hair but looked just as serious and slightly in pain as did Keiko. He wriggled nervously on the sofa staring at his hands in Keiko’s. Fear was creeping up in him Mand somehow he felt as if he needed to hold his ears close to whatever his parents would tell him now.

Keiko sighed shakily and then met his eyes again. “First of, I want to tell you that you belong to us and that all of us love you very much,” she started, and he frowned a bit. His nose wrinkled as he nodded slowly with pursed lips. He was not so sure if Satoshi really still loved him as before, but then again, Keiko tried to make sure to tell him that Satoshi was growing up and wanted time for himself and Satoshi had said to him that he was the best brother in the world for him, so that had to mean that he still liked him.

“But the truth is, sweet child, your father and I…” she stopped and closed her eyes, trying to come up with the right words. It was so hard to form the explanation in her head, regardless of what she had thought of during the night it sounded harsh, cruel and awful. Or it was in such a roundabout way that somehow made it seem even worse.

“After Mina and Satoshi were born, papa and I talked about making our family perfect and wanting to share it with another child,” she started slowly, being careful as to not talk about her lost son, who she still mourned each year. Kazu didn’t need to know about that. She never wanted to make Kazu think he was just their second choice because they didn’t have another option. She still remembered his curious, and so hopeful eyes when they met for the very first time under the climbing frame all those years ago now and how she had known right then that Kazu belonged to their family.

And now, of course, the thought of Kazu maybe not thinking of himself as their son, hurt so much. Keiko could feel him stiffen in her hold as he probably slowly worked out what she was talking about. She sighed and started again when she felt Mamoru setting down beside Kazu on the other side. She watched him stroke Kazu’s back softly, smiling shortly when that helped to relax the boy.

“So we went to an orphanage because we wanted to adopt a child to join our family. Kazu, we chose you then. We met you there, and I fell directly in love with you, as did the rest of the family when they met you. Kazu shook slightly in their hold as he looked from one to the other and then back.

“I’m not your son?” he asked in a small voice, fighting and losing against his tears as they run down his cheeks slowly.

“Of course you are our son, Kazu,” Mamoru said before Keiko could even form the words. “God Kazu, you are our son; you were right from the beginning we brought you home.”

“He is right, Kazu, you are my sweet precious child. The same as Satoshi and Mina.”

“But they are your real children, I’m not,” he whispered, his voice choked up, tugging his hands away to wipe at his cheeks, sniffling and staring at them, one after the other, before he ended at his mother again. His mind was running wild. He didn’t understand how he ended up at an orphanage then, but he was scared to ask.

As the tears got stronger while he tried hard to make sense of this all. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because you were still a child, Kazu. We never would want to hurt you. But we decided to tell you when you turn fourteen.”

“Why now?” he asked, still trying to stop his tears.

“Because…” Keiko stopped and looked helplessly at Mamoru.

“Because Kazu, you are growing up, we can’t keep this forever from you, and we already felt bad for not telling you sooner, but we wanted to shield you and you to grow up protected and hoped that over the years you got confident about your place here. We love you, and you are our son. We want you to know that. We have never seen you as anything as that.”

Kazu sniffled as he pressed his hands against his eyes and nodded. Still, it hurt not to be told until now and now to hear something like that. He shook his head when Keiko started to speak and jumped to his feet. “I need to think,” he decided and stormed upstairs. He ran to his room, closing the door behind him, surprised that he saw Satoshi sitting there, while at the same time it was somehow expected.

“Sato-nii,” he cried out and threw himself into the arms of his big brother as Satoshi opened his arms for him. He cried against his chest as he curled up on his lap. Satoshi closed his arms around him and rocked him from side to side.

“Here, here,” he whispered and pressed his lips against his hair, closing his eyes, as his heart broke for the pain his brother felt right now. “You’re okay, I promise, everything will be okay,” he whispered.

“They lied to me,” he whispered.

“No, they just didn’t want to worry you while you were still small,” he whispered. “They want to protect you, and if possible, they would want to hide forever that you are not their born child, Kazu. Mum and dad love you so much.”

“Still…” he whispered. “It hurts.”

“I know,” Satoshi sighed, lifting his chin to wipe his tears. “It hurts us all.”

“You knew about this all, right?” Kazu asked and looked up at him, realisation dawning on him, that Satoshi was not as shocked or surprised as he was.

Satoshi looked pained as he nodded and rubbed his thumb over the red cheeks. “I did,” he whispered. “I remember clearly the day mum and dad finally brought you home, how happy I felt, how enthralled you looked around and also the fear you felt as you feared you dreamt it all and that it was not true. I also remember the happiness I felt when it got clear that you forgot about your life before and what you have lived through and only knew your beloved mama and papa as your parents.”

“Are they still alive? The woman and the man that…” Kazu stopped at a lost. He didn’t even know if he wanted to know that, but something in Satoshi’s word made him need to ask that, but he didn’t know how to call them. They weren’t his parents, that were Mamoru or Keiko, at least, they were the only ones he remembered. He frowned as he was not even sure anymore if he still could call them mama and papa it also seemed wrong. All seemed wrong, and very suddenly, he couldn’t breathe anymore. He struggled out of Satoshi’s embrace, feeling hurt and betrayed that even his brother had kept that from him. He was sure that Mina had as well and everybody else. At least that explained why his aunt hated him.

“Kazu, breathe. Come on, you need to calm down,” Satoshi said, taking his face in his hands.

“I want out. I want… I don’t know I want to go!” he decided, turning around and leaving the room. He needed to get out. He ran back down, ignoring Mamoru and Keiko in the living room as he ran to the front and slipped on his shoes, before running out to the streets. It was raining slightly, and for Kazu, it seemed to fit his mood pretty well. He sniffed and rubbed the annoying tears from his eyes as he stepped onto the sidewalk. He stared at his feet as he walked. He just needed to get away. That was the only thing in his mind right away. At the same time, he didn’t want to be alone, he needed to talk to make sense of it all, and he couldn’t do that alone. He sniffled again as he realised he hadn’t brought his phone and stood at the crossing at the end of the street. It was only Jun or Aiba where he could go really. And even if Aiba were a great support, he would probably cry himself and be of no help, right now he needed someone to make sense.

“Please be home,” he whispered to himself as he turned right to go all the way to the Matsumoto family home. By the time he was there, he was soaked and the shirt clang to his body, which didn’t help feeling comfortable for him. He wiped his face again, this time it was futile. He knew he was still crying, but since he was skin soaked, he just wiped more water to his face. He stared at the door, ringing the bell and hoping someone was home.

He looked up when the door opened, and he was greeted by a very surprised and worried-looking Matsumoto-san, who ushered him in and sent him right to the bathroom before he could even form a reason to be there.

“What happened to you?” Jun asked after they had silently made sure he was warm again, and the boys sat with warm drinks in Jun’s room.

The tears that just had died down resurfaced at the question and the memory why he was here, to begin with.

Ohno sighed as he settled down in a waiting house for the bus and stared at the house where Kazu had just vanished inside. Somehow he was very happy that the boy had not crossed any streets since Kazu had not looked around even once going there. He pulled his phone to tell his parents that Kazu had arrived safely and decided to wait for the other to either come out again or his parents to call him that Kazu had called and wanted to stay over for the night. He just wasn’t able to leave without making sure Kazu was okay and safe.

A/N: I hope this is not too awful.
Also, I might update more irregular from next week on (hopefully not with a long break anymore), but I try to make the chapters longer then. But Real Life goes into the way of updating daily or each second day.

Chapter Text

Jun hugged Kazu automatically as the other boy threw himself against him, sniffling and crying against his shoulders. It took a while until he calmed down again and Jun sighed in relief when Kazu moved back. He stared at his knees, clearly embarrassed about his outburst and rubbed his itchy eyes.

Jun observed him for a moment, before clearing his throat and taking the wrist in his hand to stop Nino from further rubbing his eyes. “Stop it. You just make it worse that way.”

“Sorry,” Kazu mumbled, now staring at his clenched fist on top of his knees. He sighed tiredly, and Jun tugged him close again. He pulled and prodded Kazu until he was lying down, his head on his lap and patted his hair. His mother used to do it to him when he was sad as a little kid, and that was the only way he felt was okay to do right now. It was better than hugging at least. Kazu calmed down further and closed his surely hurting eyes.

“We can get a cool towel for your eyes?” Jun offered, but Kazu shook his head. He didn’t want to move right now because he felt too comfortable right now and he really didn’t want to be left alone in Jun’s room, neither did he want to leave the room.

“So what’s up with you? What happened? Did someone do something to you?” Jun asked, his brows furrowed, and his nose wrinkled. If someone would have hurt Kazu, he was sure that he would have run home to his family. He would only end up here if Jun were that much closer. “Shall I take you home?”

Kazu shook his head and sniffled. Jun stiffened slightly, fearing that Kazu would start crying again, sighing in relief when no tears came. “I don’t want to go home. They all lied to me,” he whispered, his voice broken and full of pain. Jun was surprised, and somehow his heart hurt to see the other boy like that. Kazu had always talked brightly and happily when it came to his family. He knew how much Kazu loved his parents, and he also knew that Kazu’s parents loved their children. So it was strange to see Kazu like that when he talked about his family.

“What did they do? Do I need to tell mom? Did they hurt you?”

“They didn’t hit me or something,” Kazu said, glaring at him. “Stop thinking that they would hit me or something. They would never.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault. You said they are liars, and you don’t want to go home, and you are here crying! What else should I think? Why did they lie to you? And about what?”

Kazu blew air out with a groan and hid his face behind his hands. Jun stared down at him, but let him be as he realised that he didn’t start rubbing his eyes again. “They are not my family?”

“Huh? Of course, they are,” Jun said, and Kazu shook his head.

“Are not. They told me that they are not my birth parents. I’m not their real son. They adopted me when I was young,” he said in a tiny voice, and Jun had problems understanding him at all. It took a moment for him to understand the implications of his words, and his eyes widened in surprise.

“What?”

“They adopted me. I’m not their son,” he cried again, pressing his hands against his face. He couldn’t help himself, and it hurt so much to think that he didn’t belong with them. Not truly, at least.

Jun blinked a moment in shock, trying to understand the words and make sense of them. The Ohno’s were so loving with all three of their children that he would never have thought that one of them didn’t belong to them like the rest. But somehow he also could see it. Kazu did look different from the rest. His face was thinner, and all Ohno’s had long graceful hands, Kazu’s was relatively small, which he only knew because Kazu whined about it so often.

“They told you that?” Jun asked as he found his voice and Kazu nodded mutely. Jun took his hands in his own so that he wouldn’t rub his eyes and then put his hand on top of Kazu’s eyes so that he would hold them close.

“This morning. I came here right away.”

“Why not Masaki?”

“Because Masa would just cry,” Kazu mumbled.

Jun giggled but nodded in agreement. “Sounds like him.”

Nino sighed and bit his lips. “It hurts,” he whispered, his voice again so very small and Jun felt just overwhelmed. He didn’t know what to say or do to help Kazu. He wished he could.

“That they adopted you?”

Kazu shook his head and then nodded before he shrugged helplessly. “I’m not their son.”

“You are,” Jun argued, and Kazu pulled off his hand to glare up at him.

“I’m not. I told you they adopted me.”

“And that still means you are an Ohno. They adopted you, they chose and made you their son, because they wanted to,” he said softly. “They raised you, right?”

Kazu nodded very slowly and stared at him with a slightly opened mouth and a wrinkled forehead as he thought it over.

“They made you their son. They are your mum and dad, they love you, your siblings love you, and you love them.”

“But they are not my real parents,” Kazu said stubbornly, and Jun sighed with a small frown on his face. His mind wandered back to a conversation he had with his parents about adoption and children and parents that couldn’t take care of their children. Jun had found the book on his bed, and slowly he realised that his parents must have known. They didn’t just get him that book because they thought it was something he should know in general.

It had been an interesting conversation, and he tried to remember what they had talked about. “Mum and dad told me that it’s easy to get a child, but not easy to be a parent and that those are two different things. I didn’t understand what they meant,” he whispered.

“I don’t get it,” Kazu said with a pout.

“That’s only because you are too stubborn to think about what I say,” he said with a grin and tweaked Kazu’s nose. He was just happy that Kazu was not crying anymore.

“Am not. I’m stupid.”

“You’re not,” Jun disagreed. “Anyway, what I mean is that your parents are your parents. They love you, they raised you, they comfort you when you are sad, they care for you when you are ill or hurt. That is what parents do. That is what people do that love you. It doesn’t matter if they are your real mum and dad or not. The things that matter are the things that they do. They love you, Kazu. You are their son. I’m sure they never want to hurt you or lie to you.”

“But they did.”

“Did they really, Kazu?”

“They always told me I’m their son.”

“And you are in their eyes you are, in my eyes you are, and I’m sure Masaki will say the same and our parents and our teachers and anybody you ask because they raised you. And did they really lie? Did they tell you that you were in your mum’s belly? That they birthed you?”

Kazu shook his head and stared to the side as he thought the words over. “No,” he said slowly. “But they never said so about Satoshi or Mina as well. And they are their children.”

“Really? Never any birthing stories? Any stories about when they were infants or something like that? Mum loves to tell me that I had a big head, and how they knew I was going to have a strong character because of my eyebrows I had just right after birth,” he snorted. “I’m sure there are embarrassing stories about your siblings as well.”

Kazu thought about it for a while and then nodded very slowly. There were some stories about those early days for Mina and Satoshi. Never about him. His stories started when he was already a toddler. He had just never questioned it.

“See? They didn’t lie to you.”

“But they didn’t tell me earlier,” he whispered.

“Of course not. They are scared, Kazu, I’m sure of it.”

“Why?”

“Because they love you, I told you. They are scared that you would hate them, I’m sure of that. I would fear that at least. And they don’t want you to feel unloved, or like you don’t belong. I’m sure they waited until they were sure you are old enough to understand those things.”

“Do you think they hate me?” Kazu asked in a small voice, and Jun shook his head.

“I think they never would be able to hate you,” he said with a smile. “And especially not because you ran away, ne? I’m sure they are worried. I’m sure your mum is crying and waiting for you to be home to make sure you are safe.”

“You really think so?”

“Yup, and I think you are a fortunate boy, and you shouldn’t think that you didn’t belong to them, Kazu. They choose you. That’s something else than being born into a family. That happens automatically; being adopted means that they loved you so much that they wanted you to belong to their family.”

Kazu nodded, and a tiny smile played on his lips at that thought. That was a nice thought, thinking that he was chosen and not that he was given away.

“Do you think that woman hates me?”

“I don’t know. Mum and dad told me that there are sometimes circumstances that make it impossible for women to raise their children and that they give them into adoption in hopes for a better future, even if it hurts them to leave their beloved child. I can’t tell why your mother gave you away, but you really shouldn’t think of the worst right away.”

“What do you mean?”

“Maybe she was young? Maybe she felt inadequate to be a mother, maybe she was ill or had no money? I really don’t know. I think you should ask your parents if you want to know.”

Kazu wrinkled his nose and sighed. “I don’t know…”

“You don’t have to decide now. I’m sure your parents will talk to you about it even if you want to know more on a later date. I’m pretty sure it’s not a one-time conversation.”

“You think so?”

“Yes, your parents don’t run away from problems.”

“They always tell us not to do so,” Kazu agreed and groaned as he closed his itchy eyes. He sat up and rubbed his face. “I’m stupid right? Because I ran away?”

“No, you are hurt and confused. We do stupid things when we are confused, but that doesn’t mean we are,” he said with pursed lips. “At least that’s what dad tells me. It would be best if you drank something, mum brought tea. I’m sure it’s cold now, though.”

“It’s fine,” Kazu mumbled taking the cup with a small frown as he drank it. Tea was better when it was warm, but it was bearable,” he decided as he finished the cup in one go.

“Can I stay for a while?”

“Yes, but you should call your parents. I’m sure they are worried.”

“I’m sure your mum called mama.”

“Maybe, but still,” Jun said, poking him. “Or are you scared?”

“No!” Kazu mumbled, but he was blushing as he pulled out his phone and stared at it for a moment, instead of calling he wrote a message, pointedly not looking at Jun’s lifted eyebrow as he read the answer about being careful and telling her if he wanted to stay overnight.

They stayed for a while longer in Jun’s room, Kazu hiding away when Jun brought them new drinks and some cookies to nibble on. He was still deep in thought, and when Jun’s mother called them for dinner, he decided it was time to go home. He knew that staying overnight would be okay, but he didn’t want to do that. That would feel even more like running away. He thanked them for letting him stay the day and Jun’s mother for drying his clothes.

Nino stepped out of the house, frowning as he realised that it was still raining. He rubbed his face and stepped out to the street, confused when the rain suddenly stopped.

“Sato-nii,” he whispered in surprise when he saw his brother beside him, staring down warmly at him.

“Hey Kazu, let’s go home?”

Kazu nodded silently as he stayed close to his big brother, surprised that he was here, but he was not questioning it. “Are you mad, Sato-nii?”

“No, never.”

“I’m sorry I ran away.”

“It’s fine, but you should apologise to mum and dad later, ne? They are worried.”

Kazu nodded silently as he fidgeted slightly beside his big brother. He was scared about what awaited him at home. Satoshi watched him before sighing softly. He carefully put the umbrella into his other hand, making sure it was still covering mostly Kazu as he put an arm around his shoulder and hugged him close. “It’ll be okay, I promise,” he whispered into his ear.

Kazu looked up and nodded again. “You stay?”

“I’ll be there, and I’m sure Mi-nee will be home as well when we arrive. And grandma and grandpa are going to give you an extra big hug next time you see them.”

“Our aunt will sneer at me.”

“She is an old hag,” Satoshi snorted. “She doesn’t count. You are much more an Ohno than she or her son can ever be,” he promised.

Kazu giggled but smiled a little bit brighter at those words.

Chapter Text

Kazu was still fidgeting as they came closer to their home and walked even more slowly with each step. Satoshi sighed and hugged him tightly for a second. “Kazu,” he started, watching as Kazu almost jumped in shock before he turned around and stared at him with wide eyes.

“Yes?”

Satoshi smiled and ruffled his hair fondly. “What is going on in that head of yours? Are you scared of going home?”

“Did I hurt mama and papa?”

“No, maybe a little bit. But Kazu, they know that it hurt you a lot to hear that you were adopted and they understand that you ran away from home. They are mostly worried about you, okay? They are scared that you are going to hate them or don’t want to be with us anymore.

“But they are my family,” Kazu whispered in a small voice. That he had understood after he had talked with Jun. They were his family and would forever stay his family. “Right? You are my family, right? You don’t think of me as an outsider?”

“Never. You are my cute little brother that I love very much,” Satoshi agreed and hugged him, smiling when Kazu giggled a little bit when he tickled him. “For mum and dad, you are their beloved son, with whom they sat when you were ill and for whom they only wish the very very best.”

“You sure?”

“Of course. Did I ever lie to you about such things?”

Kazu stared at him and for a second Satoshi feared that Kazu saw through his lies about him just loving him like a little brother, but then the other shook his head. “No.”

“And I would never tell you lies just to hurt you, I promise,” Satoshi whispered and rubbed his cheeks. “I would take you out for dinner, but with all the worry in your head, you wouldn’t manage a bite. And I think it would be unfair to our parents who want you to be home and hug you, I’m sure. So let me take you home, okay? And if we continue in this snail’s pace, I will pick you up and carry you home,” he threatened him teasingly. Kazu giggled and stared at him with big eyes.

“You would never.”

Satoshi smirked as he stopped walking and pushed the umbrella into Kazu’s hand, who blinked but took it automatically. Then the boy squealed loudly as with a swift movement Satoshi picked him up princess style. He wriggled in Satoshi’s arms who mock-glared at him.

“Stay still, or I’ll let you fall, or we both fall,” he scolded, and Kazu blushed but stayed still. “Hold the umbrella above us both, okay?”

“Okay,” Kazu agreed and held on his shoulder slightly as he balanced the umbrella as not to hurt Satoshi accidentally. “But I can also walk on my own, you know?”

“I know, but you are scared of going home. This is easier and faster.”

“I’m hungry.”

“Did you eat at your friend’s home?”

Kazu shook his head but then shrugged. “We got cookies from Jun’s mother. But I left before they had dinner, I didn’t want to disturb them.”

“I’m sure you wouldn’t have disturbed them Kazu.”

“Do you think mama told Jun? He said really smart things.”

“You went to Jun-kun because you were sure he would say smart things, right? And I don’t think mum told him. But I’m sure he told the parents of your close friends just so that they would be home.”

“Mama really thought about it a lot, right?”

“Of course. She would never say such things lightly,” Satoshi explained.

“Mhmm… I went to J because he is logical. Masa would have indulged me and cried with me,” he mumbled.

“I see. You have great friends then Kazu. A good mix.”

“Right,” Kazu said and sighed. “Do you think mama had cooked dinner?”

“I’m sure. She always cooks or bakes when she is nervous or worried, ne?”

“Uhn,” Kazu said with a small smile, even if it was painful to think that he worried his mother that much, but he couldn’t help it.

—

“We are home!” Satoshi yelled as he put Kazu down and took the umbrella to put it to the side. He took off his shoes and gestured for Kazu to do the same. The chance that Kazu would take off again was less that way.

“Welcome back,” their mother answered and came to the entry. Satoshi watched Kazu look up sharply as he heard her and smiled softly when he took in Keiko who wrung her hands nervously.

“Mama,” Kazu choked on a sob and without even caring much about his shoes he ran over and threw himself into her arms. Keiko hugged him tightly and rocked him from side to side as loud sobs echoed in the hallway. “I’m sorry I ran away.”

“It’s okay, my sweet child. You are home now,” she whispered and pressed her face against his hair to hide her tears. Satoshi grinned a second as he carefully manoeuvred his body into their home to walk to the living room and hopefully warm up.

“Is he okay?” Mamoru asked, halfway up and halfway still seated since he knew that this moment was for Kazu and his wife and that he didn’t want to interrupt them, while at the same time wanted to take Kazu in his arms to make sure he was okay.

“Yes,” Satoshi hummed. “Famished it seems and scared about how you will think of him, but he is otherwise just fine.”

The man sighed in relief, smiling fondly at the words and rubbed his face. “Your mother made an enormous dinner.”

“Great,” Satoshi decided and rubbed his hands against each other. He sighed and went to his room. For a second, he threw himself on the bed to just breath and relaxed again at the thought that Kazu was home also and not mad at any of them. He had been so scared about that even if he tried his best to hide it. He groaned as he pulled off his slightly wet shirt and put on another one before getting a sweatshirt for Kazu and going down again. He could stay strong until Kazu slept; he was sure of it.

When he came back down, he smiled as he saw that Kazu was now in his father’s arm still sobbing slightly, but his father was whispering to him softly and slowly, but surely Kazu was calming down again. He put the sweatshirt down beside them and then went over to the kitchen where he could hear his mother rummaging.

“Are you alright, sweetheart?” Keiko asked the moment he stepped in, tasting the sauce for the hamburger steak she had prepared and he shrugged slightly.

“I will be,” he decided after a moment of silence. “It was a scare.”

She sighed and waved him over. He went without complaints sighing when she hugged him with one arm. “It was for us all. Thank you for looking after him.”

“Of course,” he whispered. “He is my little brother after all,” he added. He sighed at those words since they seemed hollow and not enough, but he knew that this was what Kazu needed. An older brother to lean on, to trust and to protect him and he would be that for Kazu. He had already made the mistake as he tried to distance himself entirely from Kazu, but he now saw and understood that he couldn’t do that to Kazu. It was hurting them both too much.

“I’m sorry, Satoshi,” his mother whispered, and he shook his head as he looked up with a small, painful smile.

“It’s fine. I knew that from the beginning. I just can’t seem to run away even if I really would prefer that.”

“Running away never helped.”

Satoshi nodded in agreement and pressed himself closer to her, smiling when she dropped a kiss on top of his hair.

“But I know we raised you well and strong. Today just showed us again. I trust you to find your way,” she mumbled, and he hoped fervently she was right. He looked up when his brother came in, chuckling when Kazu ran over, his eyes were red, but there was excitement in his eyes at the prospect of his favourite foods and Satoshi easily allowed him to collide with his body as he hugged him as well. When Mina came two hours later, she was tackled in another hug by their little brother who needed the physical closeness to make sure they really felt like he belonged in their family.

The weekend was filled with visits from their grandparents who each, in turn, coddled Kazu to make sure he felt as if he belonged and Satoshi was pretty sure that there was no way that any child would have ever felt more loved than his little brother and of course he was very happy for him. He couldn’t even tease him about being jealous. But he was sure when Sunday evening rolled up, and they were alone again so that he could go back into his room and just breath.

He sighed when there was a hesitant knock on his door and forced a smile on his face as he allowed the other person to come in.

“Sato-nii,” Kazu whispered, and he nodded.

“Yes, what is it Kazu?”

“Can I sleep in your room? Just tonight.” He stood there, tugging at his fingers as he always did when he was nervous, tippling from one foot to the other and stared down at the floor as he waited for an answer.

Satoshi frowned for a second as it was nothing they usually did. Not anymore at least. They shared one room a lot when Kazu had been younger and didn’t want to sleep alone why ever but they left that behind as Kazu got older, bad dreams got less and accidents didn’t happen again. On the one hand, Satoshi could understand Kazu’s wish as not to stay alone; on the other hand, he knew that it would be hard for him to have Kazu stay over mostly because there was no logical explanation for them not to share a bed.

“Don’t you want to stay with mum and dad if you can’t sleep alone?”

Kazu blushed and shook his head. “Not tonight. I tried to sleep, but can’t. My thoughts are running all strangely,” he explained with pursed lips. “I don’t know why. Mama and Papa would ask.”

“Oh, and I don’t?”

Kazu shook his head and smiled shyly. “You are just there. You don’t try to make it all better but wait until it is.”

“I can’t follow your thoughts,” Satoshi said with a small chuckle and stood as he ruffled his hair. It had been clear from the beginning after all that he would never decline Kazu that wish. “But I’m not tired yet. I wanted to draw something, so you will have to sleep while the light is on, alright?”

Kazu’s eyes shone as he nodded and turned around to get a second cushion and his old trusted bunny toy that he usually never took to bed with him, but right now it was comforting him. Satoshi hid a small smirk at sight and watched as Kazu made himself comfortable right against the wall so that Satoshi didn’t have to climb over him.

“Good night, Sato-nii.”

“Just tonight, remember, ne?”

“Uhn,” Kazu said his eyes still bright but clear, and Satoshi smiled as he caressed his hair.

“Then good-night, little brother,” he whispered, enjoying the happy smile on Kazu’s face at that term and soon after he closed his eyes. Satoshi forced himself to stood and left to sit down at his desk, trying hard not to do the creepy thing and draw Kazu’s peaceful sleeping face as he drew whatever comic characters came to his mind. Everything to just think of something else, he thought.

Chapter Text

“Put that away,” Jun groaned and hit Kazu’s shoulder. Kazu looked up from his game and frowned. “Come on. If you wanted to play games, you could have gone home,” he snorted.

“Just a minute, let me get to the saving point.”

“If you don’t turn it off, then I will hit you and take it away. I don’t care about the progress you made.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Kazu said, kicking his thigh. “Go and help Masaki. Otherwise, he will never escape his parents.”

“I’m pretty sure his parents would chase him out of the kitchen.”

“He might be damaged then,” Kazu said with a smirk. “And I might have mentioned you will go and help him carry the drinks and snacks. He might pout if you don’t.”

“You are a brat.”

“And you know it,” Kazu giggled and kicked him again slightly.

Jun grumbled but got to his feet to go down and vanish down the stairs to the kitchen of the restaurant to help Aiba carry the stuff he had promised them for after school.

By the time they were back in the room, Kazu had turned off his game console and was sitting on the head of Aiba’s bed, and the legs stretched out in front of him. Aiba put his tray down on the cupboard beside the bed and pulled the chair from his desk over so that Jun could put his tray on it. He then fell to the bed and put his head on Kazu’s lap.

Kazu grumbled and moved his legs so that Aiba’s head was bumping up and down. But the other didn’t even react, so Kazu gave up pretty soon.

“Why did you drag us here?”

“You came on your own,” Aiba protested.

“Because you promised food.”

“And I brought food. Don’t be a brat.”

2As if he can help that,” Jun said as he sat on the feet of the bed cross-legged.

“Hey, I can hear you.”

“And what do you want to do against that, shrimp.”

Kazu stared at him for a second before he started to laugh. “You do realise that I’m bigger, right?”

“I will be soon bigger than you.”

“Sure,” Kazu snorted. “I will always be the biggest between us all,” he grinned then and groaned when Jun pinched his toe.

“What is wrong with you two?”

“J is jealous because I can beat him in every game.”

“Not true,” Jun grumbled. “He is just annoying. Always boasting about being the best.”

Aiba looked from one to the other and then hummed. “Well, whatever,” he decided, sitting up so that he could reach for the chocolate on the chair and put it in his mouth.

“Maki-chan confessed to me today,” Aiba said after a moment of silence. He blushed a deep red when Jun choked on the tea he was drinking, and Kazu looked up from where he was eating one of the crackers Jun had brought up.

“What?”

“Really? I don’t believe you.”

“Really,” Aiba said as he pouted and shoved a giggling Kazu almost off the bed. Kazu shrieked but then managed to keep a hold on the blanket before he could fall.

“What did you answer her?” Jun asked a bit more seriously than Kazu had.

Aiba blushed even more, and Kazu lifted his eyebrow.

“Do you like her?” He gasped, and Jun stared a bit surprised at Kazu.

“You didn’t know?”

“Did Masaki tell you, but not me?” Kazu asked a bit offended, staring from one to the other.

“No, but I’m not blind. He is very obvious with it.”

“Am not,” Aiba said but hid his face behind his hands.

“Eh?” Kazu said in wonder, staring at them but now a bit more alert. “Do you like someone else well?”

“Me?” Jun asked, and Kazu nodded curiously.

“We are here to talk about my problem here,” Aiba said with a pout.

“Which problem?” Kazu asked, staring at him with a frown. “You like her. She likes you. Of course, you would go out with her, right?”

“I can’t!” Aiba shrieked.

“Why not?”

“What if she wants to kiss me?”

Kazu wrinkled his nose at the thought. “Why would she do that?”

The other two were looking at him suddenly, and he blinked at them. “What?”

“Kazu, do you have a crush on anybody?”

“No? Why should I?”

“Don’t you like girls?”

Kazu shrugged and hummed in thought. “I have never thought about them like that. Why should I? I’m busy with keyboard and guitar lessons and baseball. And studies, and, and stuff... As should you, by the way. You almost got an F at the last test!”

“Well, I can do better on the next. My parents weren’t too mad.”

“Not true,” Jun snorted. “You had house arrest for a week.”

“Not true! They lifted it after a day.”

“Because you were whining so much,” Kazu chuckled.

Aiba shrugged and grinned. Maybe that was one reason, but not the main reason.

“Stop trying to avoid the topic,” Jun said with a giggle. “Is our little Kazu still icky with girls?”

“Aww, don’t you worry you will get there as well,” Aiba chimed in, and Kazu rolled his eyes as he shoved Aiba away.

“Am not.”

“So there IS a girl you like,” Jun said with a grin.

“Is there a girl you like?” Kazu asked as he stared at him with a glare.

Jun blushed just a bit, but he was still meeting his eyes with. “Yes.”

“What?! Who?” Kazu asked with big eyes. He felt his heart accelerate as he realised that both of his friends had a crush on a girl while he still had no explicit interest in girls. They were fine, mostly, some were annoying, and he would never get their joy in some stupid things, but now he tried to come up with someone he would like because he knew that the other two would not let up now.

“Mao-chan,” Jun answered, and Kazu’s mouth fell open. The two had argued almost all of last year, and Jun had more than once grumbled about how stupid she was. But now that he thought of it, they had argued less, and Jun had tried to be nicer to her. Kazu had thought that maybe Jun had seen her cry or something and felt terrible.

“Mao-chan?”

“Yup, she’s great. And she is now smiling at me. I’m sure she will fall for me as well.”

“Wohoo, you can do it,” Aiba cheered and giggled when Jun blushed.

“God, why are you so loud and excited today, Masaki?” Kazu asked, staring at the other. Aiba was usually excitable and high in energy, but today it was terrible. He poked him and glared. “And what about you? Why cheer on Jun when you are too scared to tell a girl you like, and that confessed that you like her.”

“She thrust the letter into my hands and ran away before I read it,” Aiba defended himself. “So I asked you to come and help me think of an answer.”

“So we should help you,” Kazu decided sitting on his legs and stared at him intently. Maybe Jun would let upon him for the moment that way.

“But… I can’t just tell her.”

“Of course you can. Tell her to meet you somewhere and then tell her,” Kazu said with a shrug. “It’s easy right?”

Aiba was still blushing as he looked down at his fingers. “I can’t talk when I see her,” he whispered in the end.

Kazu frowned at those words, not understanding what he meant. But then he remembered how Aiba was shy naturally around strangers maybe it had to do with that? But then again, Aiba knew Maki-chan. They had already talked to each other even!

“You could write her a letter?”

“That would feel like copying her,” Aiba mumbled.

“And his writing is a mess,” Kazu piqued up, smiling in apology as Aiba looked at him slightly hurt. “Sorry, but it’s the truth. If you like her, you should tell her directly. And I’m sure she would be as nervous as you are so it’ll be fine.”

Aiba whined slightly but then couldn’t help but agree. “Where should I tell her?”

“Somewhere close to school, but private. You could ask her to meet you after school at the bike stands?”

“I can’t walk up to her!” Aiba shrieked, and Kazu cringed.

“Kazu or I can tell her to meet you,” Jun explained, and Kazu nodded in agreement.

“Okay…” Aiba said slowly and staring at them, still nervous but a bit more calmer. “And when she wants to kiss? I have never kissed anybody!”

“I’m sure Maki-chan hasn’t either.”

“But what if she has? I don’t want to look dumb in front of her.”

Kazu bit his tongue before he could tell Aiba that that would be a challenging task. He didn’t want to hurt Aiba for real, and he had understood that the other had an awful time right now and he wanted to be a supporting friend. But he was horrible at staying serious. Girls-things were just so silly, he thought.

“Even if she has she wouldn’t want to kiss you right away,” Jun said after a while of silence. “You wait a few days at least.”

“You sure?”

“Yes, I am. My sister said so. She said that boys that want to kiss her right away are iffy and she would break up right away and that she would hit me if I force kisses on any girl right away. So I think you really shouldn’t.”

“Uhn, Mi-nee mentioned about a strange boy that was too over her? I didn’t understand, but Sato-nii got mad, and papa got mad as well. So I think that’s bad,” Kazu agreed as he remembered the loud voices of his worked-up father that one night. It was scary since the man was always calm and loving.

“Okay,” Aiba said finally relaxing, and Kazu turned his head to look at Jun with a tilted head.

“You and Mao-chan?”

“There is nothing between us yet, and I won’t confess yet, so don’t even try.”

Kazu grinned. “If you say so. I thought you had a crush on your kindergarten teacher, though.”

“That was my first crush,” Jun said with a small glare. “That was ages ago.”

“Jun-kun is always into our teachers,” Aiba giggled. “It’s cute, right?”

“Oi! You weren’t better,” Jun pouted and hit him. Aiba giggled as he stuck out his tongue and held the back of his head.

Kazu hummed in understanding, staring at the ceiling and falling to his back as he thought about who he had a crush on so far, but nobody really came to mind. He had always been more of a mama-boy and a family-boy in general, he thought as he thought of his favourite family members. There had never been a time that he had more interest in people outside of his family.

A pout appeared on his face as he shut the voices of the other two out who talked about how Aiba should confess to Mika-chan and where they could go for their very first date. Neither Jun nor Aiba really cared about his input since Kazu was just not the person interested in going to any places other than the game arcade or the baseball fields and both were ruled out as date places right from the beginning, which made dating even worse in Kazu’s mind.

A/N: What a horrible chapter… I’m sorry.

Chapter Text

“What is going on in that head of yours?” Satoshi asked Kazu a week after his talk with Masaki and Jun.

They were alone again for the weekend because Kazu had to study for exams and Satoshi actually had to work on the weekends.

(And honestly, neither of them had really wanted to go with their parents who had wanted to go for a short trip to the onsen and treated it like a second honeymoon.)

Kazu looked up from the workbook he was supposed to do. All he had done so far were just scribbles though, and he had not answered any question so far, which was not like Kazu at all.

“Oh, you are back, Sato-nii?”

“As you can see,” Satoshi teased him. He had to leave early in the morning when Kazu was still sleeping since today he had the early shift. But that also meant that tomorrow was his free day and he had wanted to take Kazu out for a meal then because he worked hard. But as it looked now, there would be no reason for that so far.

“I didn’t hear you,” Kazu pouted, and Satoshi smiled.

“I called you a few times, though. I thought you were busy studying but instead you are not really concentrating. Did you have breakfast already?”

Kazu wrinkled his nose at the question, and Satoshi took that as a no. He sighed and pulled the other up.

“Lucky for you, I already prepared lunch. Come on. We should eat something. I’m sure you can study better if your stomach is full. And bring your stuff to the living room. Mum and Dad would be disappointed to learn you did nothing all weekend.”

“Did they tell you to babysit me?” Kazu asked a bit hurt at the thought that their parents told Satoshi to make sure he was studying and not trusting Kazu.

“Not really. They told me to make sure you take breaks and eat, though. Because we all know that when you are immersed in your studies, you tend to forget.”

“So they don’t think I’m lazy?” Kazu asked in a small voice as he closed his books and hugged them to his chest as he followed Satoshi out.

Satoshi swore silently at the insecure voice and shook his head as he hugged his little brother. “Of course not. They know you are hardworking, little brother. And they wouldn’t be mad if they learnt you did nothing all weekend. Sorry for saying that.”

Kazu hummed, still not entirely sure but he relaxed slowly when Satoshi ruffled his hair.

“But I know you will be disappointed in yourself if you do nothing. So let’s have lunch, and then you can study in the living room. If there are problems, you can ask me that way, okay?”

“Uhn, okay,” Kazu said. He jumped down the last few steps of the stairs, ignoring the chuckle from Satoshi as he grinned and put his books away.

“Oh, and if you are a good boy. I’ll take you to that movie you wanted to watch, but didn’t want to spend money on.”

“I couldn’t spend money on it. I already paid for a game with my pocket money,” Kazu said with a pout. “But will you really take me?” he asked, his eyes shining brightly at the promise. All of his friends had already seen the movie, and he was annoyed that he didn’t.

“If you study hard today, yes.”

“Yay, you are the best, Sato-nii!” Kazu cheered and ran over to hug him tightly.

Satoshi chuckled as he ruffled his hair. “But first food and studying,” he said, trying hard to sound strict, but it was almost impossible with how happy Kazu looked as he nodded and ran to the kitchen to have lunch finally.

—

“Sato-nii?”

“Mhm?”

“I don’t get this question,” Kazu mumbled when Satoshi looked at him from where he was cleaning their entry.

Kazu had already asked him a few times if he should help Satoshi but the older always denied. It was not as if he needed to clean their home up, but he was bored, and everything else he could think of would be too distracting for him to help Kazu if he needed help (and he was too scared to end up just drawing Kazu all the time in strange positions). So he had decided to do the chores on his own and surprise their parents when they were back.

He knew their mother would be happy to see them all done, and the relaxation of their short vacation would hold a bit longer now though he cleaned his hands on a towel and walked over to where Kazu had been working the last three hours. He had done already most of the questions on the subjects he was good at, and there was only a little left until Satoshi would tell him it was enough for now.

Exams were coming closer, yes, but Kazu still had a few more weeks to finish the workbook before then.

“Show me,” Satoshi mumbled, hoping that he could help, but if nothing else he could check the solutions and then try to help Kazu.

But as it was, it seemed that Kazu was just puzzled because of how the question was worded (and because his brain always seemed to pick the most complicated route when it came to schoolwork) so it was easy to explain to Kazu what he had to do.

“Eh? That’s all?”

“Yup,” Satoshi giggled. “Nothing complicated, there are some trick questions like this.”

Kazu huffed slightly as he nodded and wrote down the answer before going over the next.

“Do the questions until page 28, okay? Then you should take a break.”

“But…”

“No buts, you did great and if you want you can do some more in the morning tomorrow, but doing too much will turn your brain to mush and Mum and Dad will not buy you more workbooks just because you power through them.”

“Meanie,” Kazu said with a pout, but Satoshi lifted an eyebrow, and with another huff, Kazu finally agreed. Satoshi smirked as he ruffled his hair with just his fingertips and tweaked his nose.

“Afterwards you can prepare dinner while I take a shower first.”

“Okay,” Kazu agreed, smiling just slightly at the prospect of taking over some of the chores and not letting Satoshi do them all. He always felt terrible otherwise.

—

It was late in the evening and Satoshi and Kazu were stretched out on the sofa watching a movie together.

Kazu was munching on some popcorn Satoshi had made for them, and Ohno had another bowl with chocolate nuts in his hands. Their legs were slightly tangled, and Ohno chuckled when Kazu couldn’t stay still and moved his feet.

He pinched his toe and grinned when Kazu shrieked. “You were again all immersed in your thoughts,” he scolded lightly, but there was still worry etched in his voice. “Kazu what is going on in your head? Normally you would talk me through this movie.”

“Sorry, I didn’t want to be annoying.”

Satoshi snorted since Kazu couldn’t stay silent even if he tried really hard. He always had an opinion on the action scenes that he needed to let out; otherwise, he ended up being unhappy.

“That’s also the reason you stopped eating the popcorn? Your hand has to be all icky now.”

Kazu blinked and then wrinkled his nose as he felt the grease of the butter on his hands. He opened his hand to let the last cornels drop in the bowl and carefully stood as not to hurt Satoshi.

Satoshi paused the movie and sat up as well to ruffle his hair. “Wash your hands and then tell me what’s up? I worry about you, and you were silent for a few days now already. Something is bothering you, right?”

Kazu was silent for a while, but then he looked down and nodded mutely. “Somehow,” he agreed as he stood and left with a sigh. Maybe it was better if he spoke with Satoshi, he thought.

—

Ohno had cleaned up the little mess they made on the coffee table and pulled out two soft drinks as soon as Nino settled down on the sofa again.

“So what’s up, little brother?”

“Sato-nii? Have you ever been in love?” Kazu asked after a moment of silence.

Satoshi stiffened slightly at the question and closed his eyes. He hadn’t thought that Kazu would think about such things just yet. He had hoped he would still have time to toughen up for those questions.

“Why, are you in love?”

“I don’t know,” Kazu whispered, looking down in embarrassment. His cheeks were a bright red and Satoshi had to hold back as not to pinch him. “How do you know you are in love? Masaki and J say they are in love with girls in our school. And I don’t get it? How do they know? They didn’t like them before.”

“You just know,” Satoshi said with a small smile.

“So you were in love? How did you realise? Tell me?”

Satoshi bit his lips as he nodded slowly. He was bad at lying to Kazu after all, but he needed to be careful as not to let him know the truth. “You know you are in love when you are often thinking of the other person. You like being with them and want that they are well.”

“Huh,” Kazu mumbled and then pursed his lips a little bit. “Who do you like? Tell me, Sato-nii? Have you told her?”

“No, I have not. Telling is the scariest part about liking someone.”

“Tell me about her?”

Satoshi sighed and hummed a little bit in thought. “The person I like… They are very naughty, they like to play pranks and are very active. I love their smile, and I hate it when they cry. I like their good and bad habits very much. They make me want to protect them,” Satoshi said as he ruffled his hair. “And I won’t tell you more.”

“I’m jealous,” Kazu mumbled. “I want someone to like me like that.”

Satoshi chuckled and hugged him a bit tighter, before dropping a kiss to the top of his hair. “So do you like someone? Is there a girl you want to spend your time with?”

Kazu looked a bit troubled for a while. His mind going to the few girls he talked to regularly, but he didn’t know if there was one that matched Satoshi’s answer.

“Or maybe a boy?” Satoshi said very softly, sighing when Kazu stiffened in his arms.

“I don’t like guys that way,” he grumbled and jumped to his feet. He glared at his brother and bit his lips. He was sure if he just thought a little bit longer, he would come up with a girl he liked, just like his friends did.

“It wouldn’t matter if you did, Kazu, you know that right?”

“Right,” Kazu said, still looking troubled.

“And it’s okay, if you are still not there, yet. You are still young. It would be normal if you have no interest in others like that just yet.”

“But all my friends do,” he whined, nibbling on his lower lip. “I don’t want to be the odd one out of them again.”

Satoshi closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “You are not odd, Kazu.”

“I know, but…”

“No, buts,” he said sternly. He knew that Kazu was still troubled over the fact that he was adopted sometimes because he was the only one in between his friends, but he didn’t want Kazu to think that for even a second.

Kazu deflated after a second and crumbled as Satoshi let him hide in his arms. “I want to be normal.”

“You are normal, Kazu.”

The boy sniffled and then nodded after a while. “And I will find someone I like,” he promised silently.

“Of course, you will. And then you will introduce her to the family,” he teased, smiling when Kazu hit him slightly and tried to hide his embarrassment at the thought of introducing someone he liked to his family. “But if you try too hard to find someone you won’t,” Satoshi warned him.

“So you say I need to give it time?”

“Yes,” Satoshi chuckled.

“That sucks. But… argh… I don’t want to think about it anymore! Let’s finish that movie. The worst part comes soon.”

“You are the only one who wants to watch a movie just because you hate it,” Satoshi snorted as Kazu moved back, giving him space to breathe and put some of the popcorn in his mouth as he started the movie, almost glaring at the screen in his attempt of forgetting all about that downright embarrassing conversation.

“Ne Satoshi?”

“Mhm?”

“You won’t tell mama and papa, right?”

Satoshi hummed and nodded. “Of course not, your secrets are safe with me.”

Kazu smiled brilliantly at him and finally relaxed as he concentrated on the movie, grumbling at his most hated scene and starting to tear it apart.

Ohno giggled as he let him be, even if he couldn’t help the laughter when he saw that Nino had fallen asleep after letting go of all his steam afterwards.

Chapter Text

“Do you like Erika-chan?” Aiba asked curiously as they sat together in the stands of the baseball field. They were waiting for the training to start, and Kazu was leisurely playing with a ball he had snatched during their last practice.

“Huh?” Kazu mumbled and tilted his head to the side. “Erika-chan?”

“Uhn, you talk a lot to her,” Aiba said with an almost creepy grin on his face.

“We have to do assignments together,” Kazu said with a small huff. “So of course I talk to her.”

“But I saw you in a coffee shop with her yesterday. You were laughing together. You can’t tell me that was for school,” Aiba said and poked his cheek.

“What are you? My stalker?” Kazu asked and pushed him to the side. “Get away; you are annoying.”

“Aww, our little Kazu is in love…” Aiba said as he faked crying and wiped his tears. “They grow up so fast nowadays. Wait until I tell Jun-chan!”

Kazu blushed because of Aiba’s antics and hid his face. “You are not older than me. So stop being annoying.”

“But you were so clueless when we talked about love weeks ago,” Aiba snorted. “So of course we are happy to see love blossom in front of him.”

“I am not in love with Erika-chan! She is nice, and she likes to play games. We had lunch in that coffee shop because we needed to talk about stuff for school and thought the school was stuffy.”

“Nobody laughs like that when they talk about school,” Aiba scoffed as he wrinkled his nose. “Come on. Kazu you can tell me. I won’t tell others.”

“You were about to run to J, stupid.”

“Jun is not others. Jun is our best friend.”

Nino groaned and hid his face in his hands as Aiba pulled out his phone to finally write a mail to Jun. Maybe at least Jun was more level-headed, and together they could convince Aiba that he was not in love with Erika, he thought miserably.

—

“I want to go home!” Kazu whined when Aiba grabbed his arm and led him from the schoolyard after their training. Aiba had seen that Erika had stopped in front of the field for a moment to watch them and had alerted Kazu of that very not subtle.

Kazu groaned as Aiba yanked at his arm almost dislocating it when he tried to walk down the street that led to his home.

“I know you don’t have homework left and your mother allows you to come home just in time for dinner. So we will have cake together.”

“I don’t have money,” Kazu said, trying again to leave. “And I would feel bad at making you pay.”

Aiba stared at him disbelievingly, and Kazu had to admit that it was a very weak argument since he usually would go out of his way to make either Jun or Aiba pay for him.

“Jun is already waiting for us,” Aiba said. “And I pay. Or Jun pays whatever. We have to celebrate.”

“Damn,” Kazu swore, but gave up and let Aiba drag him to the shop they frequented.

Jun was also grinning when Aiba pushed Nino on a chair at the table the other was already. Jun had a glass of oolong ice tea in front of him, and Aiba went to order the same for them together with whatever sweets caught his eyes.

Kazu sighed as he sank lower in his chair when Jun grinned at him.

“What?” he asked, and Jun shrugged before he shook his head.

“You and Erika-chan?”

“What did the idiot tell you?”

“He said that you and Erika-chan are together. How come you didn’t tell us?”

Jun looked actually hurt, and Kazu rubbed his face. “I am not together with Erika-chan. We work together on class assignments and school stuff. Masaki is completely overdoing things. He reads too much into stuff.”

“But you met her outside of school?”

“Yes, we met outside of school. I don’t get why this is a big deal.”

“You never meet anybody outside of school. Wait, did you make her pay for you?”

“What?! Of course not! I paid for us,” Kazu grumbled. “I’m not that bad.”

“You’re the worst when it comes to paying money for anything,” Jun disagreed and grinned at Aiba as he put a tray down with their drinks and sweets to share. “You never pay when you are with us.”

“Because you have more money and are nice,” he said with a pout.

Jun snorted but stayed silent as Aiba sat down beside them and Nino took the oolong tea and downed almost half of it. He felt really weird to be scrutinised so much, and he wished to be back home and hide away.

“Do you like Erika-chan?” Jun finally asked, and Kazu almost choked on his drink.

He shrugged slightly and stared down at his hands as he felt his cheeks slightly heat up at the question and thought of Erika.

“She is nice,” he mumbled. “She does her part of the work without slacking off.”

“Which of course is important to our nerd,” Aiba teased, giggling when Kazu pinched his side.

“Stop it,” Kazu said, and Aiba held up his hands.

“Sorry, sorry,” he was still giggling, but Kazu knew he was not trying to hurt him.

“And she likes games. We talked about playing Marion Kart on the weekends. She has the newest console. Mama said she wouldn’t buy it and my birthday is not until next month,” Kazu grumbled.

“Oh, so you already have a second date?”

“We didn’t even have a first one,” Kazu said and glared at them. “Stop making it one.”

“Kazu you know what it means to like someone or fall in love with someone right?” Jun asked suddenly carefully, and Nino pursed his lips as he played with the hem of his shirt.

“I’m not stupid,” he grumbled. “Sato-nii explained it all to me,” he added then when Jun looked at him with a lifted eyebrow. He looked down at his fingers and tried hard not to blush further when Aiba and Jun couldn’t help but snicker at his words. So he had asked Satoshi, so what? He was allowed to ask his older siblings about stuff he didn’t get. It was Aiba’s and Jun’s loss that they didn’t have big brothers, he thought sullenly.

“So what did senpai tell you?”

“Sato-nii said that it means you like being with them and think about them and want them to be healthy.”

“So what about Erika-chan?”

Kazu wrinkled his nose in thought and tugged a bit more aggressively at the hem of his shirt as he thought the words over and about Erika.

“I… Of course, I like her. I already told you so. She is fun to be with, and she knows games. More than you two at least. And she is not so annoying or all over me,” he huffed. He was trying very hard to ignore the grins that Jun and Aiba shared at his words.

“And of course I want her to be healthy. It’s normal to want that with others, right? And it would really suck if she wasn’t healthy when we have presentations together,” he pouted.

“So you are in love,” Jun pointed out, and Nino frowned.

“Why do you think so?”

“Because, my dear Kazu, you have never been so interested in any other person outside of your family.”

“Not true, I like you and don’t want you to be ill,” he said with a frown.

“Because we are your friends,” Jun scoffed. “But it even took us some time to get you comfortable around us.”

Kazu pouted as he stared down at his hands, thinking about the words and then hid his face in his hands. “But she doesn’t like me for sure.”

“She invited you for the weekend, right?”

“Uhn we are going to play Mario Kart. I told you,” he said with a pout.

“I’m sure she likes you then. She wouldn’t invite you home otherwise. But it’s soon for the second date.”

“And yes, your coffee shop outing was a date,” Jun scolded him as Nino wanted to argue with Aiba.

“But… She didn’t tell me. And I didn’t,” he mumbled. “What do I do now?!”

“I’m sure Erika-chan will talk about it on the weekend.”

“And what should I tell her?”

“What you feel,” Jun said and tugged at his hands. “You like her, and you like being around her or having her around you. So it’s good. You just tell her that you like being around her.”

“But…”

“And that you don’t like it if you don’t,” Jun added.

Nino pursed his lips as he thought it over. “I like her, I think,” he said in the end, as he breathed in deeply to calm down his suddenly racing heart at the thought of really being with Erika.

Aiba cheered slightly and hugged his friend tightly as Nino tried to hide behind his elbow. “Aww, you are so cute all grown up now.”

“Shut up, Masaki,” he said with a huff pushing Aiba off, but crying out when he almost fell instead. Jun was laughing at them but luckily helped Nino to stay seated and hit Aiba’s head to calm him down.

“But you are going to tell us if you kiss her.”

“What? Why should I? You wouldn’t get to watch and… Kisses are strange,” he mumbled, making the other two sigh as he pouted slightly.

He drowned his drink and got up. “You are both stupid. I will go home now!”

“You can ask your brother about kissing a girl,” Aiba said with a grin. “To prepare for Saturday.”

“I am not going to kiss Erika-chan on Saturday,” Kazu hissed his cheeks a dark red at the thought. “And for sure I am NOT asking Sato-nii about such things. That is embarrassing.”

“Aww still a little kid,” Jun teased and winked at him when Nino glared at him, before deciding he didn’t want to have another argument and instead leave his stupid, awful friends behind.

Chapter Text

“I’m off!” Kazu yelled as he slipped into his shoes and kissed his mother on the cheek before he finally left his home to go over to Erika. He had made sure to put in their school work because they might check it between gaming.

“Have fun,” Keiko said and ruffled his hair. She grinned when he pouted and put his hair back to order before running out with red cheeks. Adorable, she thought with a bit of regret at seeing her last child growing up way too fast. It felt like yesterday when Kazu refused to leave her to meet other people and found girls nasty.

She sighed when Kazu was gone finally and closed the door, after putting his slippers to the side. She then went up and knocked on Satoshi’s door.

“Come in,” Satoshi mumbled with a sigh, and she opened the door.

“Hey, come down and join me?”

“I’m not going to look for the next bridge…” Ohno joked weakly, and she came over to hit his head.

“That’s nothing to joke about. And besides, I didn’t tell you were thinking of that. But I can understand that it hurts.”

“He’s growing fast. I knew this was going to happen rather sooner than later.”

Keiko watched him for a second and smiled. “So he talked with you, huh. I wondered about that,” she mumbled.

“I’m his big brother,” Satoshi said with a pout. “I want to help him if possible.”

“True, and it’s easier to talk with your siblings than with your parents,” Keiko agreed. “I still would enjoy you to come down with me and join me. I have to process the things your grandparents sent us for the freezer or pantry. You can help. It’ll do you better than sitting here and pouting.”

“I’m not wallowing in self-hate,” Satoshi snorted but stood to follow Keiko.

He didn’t like working in the kitchen that much, but Keiko was right. It would distract him.

They settled down in the kitchen and Keiko grimaced when he saw the number of vegetables his mother told him to clean. “You weren’t joking,” he said with a chuckle as he sat down and went to work.

“Of course not. I can make your favourite as a thank you.”

“Sounds good,” Satoshi agreed with a smile.

They spend an hour talking about Satoshi’s work so far and how he liked working in the bakery. Keiko knew already that he enjoyed it a lot more than going to school in general. It was harsh to wake up early in the morning, but he enjoyed making the bread to prepare cakes, so it was fine. He liked eating the cakes, though. But the same with other food, if he prepared them himself, he liked the motion of doing it, but he didn’t necessarily need to eat it afterwards. It was enough to know that his family or friends liked it.

Satoshi sighed after a while of silence, and Keiko looked at him in confusion.

“Everything okay?”

“Yes… In a way… It’s good to see him grow up and fall in love. It hurts, but…” he stopped and stared at the carrot he was peeling right now.

“But?”

“The hope vanishes. To see him fall in love and be with others manifests the knowledge that there is no way it’s going to be me that he’ll love that way. I can start to heal. It’s heartbreaking in a way, but it’s also better than the hope while I also tried to keep away and not smother him or… groom him.”

Keiko turned around and glared at Satoshi. She strode over and pinched his ear. “Don’t ever belittle you like that again, Satoshi!” she scolded. “You never would do anything like that and exploit your little brother.”

“But…”

“No buts. We promised you. Your father and I promised you to make sure you won’t influence Kazu, and you didn’t okay?”

Satoshi smiled a bit weakly but then nodded after a second. “Okay, sorry. My mind is messed up.”

“No wonder,” Keiko said with a sigh. “Finish those, and then you are free to do whatever you want.”

“Can you teach me to cook curry?”

“Sure.”

Satoshi smiled and nodded as he finished with the carrots and put the peels to the side. He knew his mother would wash them again and then probably cook a vegetable broth to store for later use. Keiko was notorious as not to waste anything.

—

“Where’s Sato-nii?” Kazu asked with a pout as he sat heavily on a chair in the kitchen. He was sniffling slightly and coughed shortly after.

Keiko looked at him with a frown and went over to check his forehead. “I told you to stay put in the living room,” she scolded as he pulled the blanket he had brought closer around himself and wriggled around so that she would let go.

“I was bored. I can’t play games; my sight goes funny,” he whined.

“That’s because of your cold.”

“Stupid cold. Can’t you make it go away, mama?”

“No, sweet child,” she sighed and chuckled when he whined and put his head on the table for a moment.

“Where is Sato-nii?”

“Meeting with friends,” she said after a moment. “Why?”

“Because Sato-nii would read me a story and then all feel better,” he said with a pout. “Can you read me a story?”

“I thought you were hungry.”

Kazu shrugged and then groaned slightly as he accidentally hit his chin on the table. He sat up with a pout and rubbed the hurting part.

“I am bored,” he grumbled.

Keiko rolled her eyes and then pulled him up. She turned him around and brought him back to the living room. She helped him back onto the sofa and put the blanket over him before playing with his hair.

Kazu sighed happily and closed his eyes as he snuggled closer.

“Better?”

“Uhn Mama,” he said happily. She chuckled and stroke his hair a while longer until Kazu fell back to sleep soon after. She then got up with a groan and went back to the kitchen to finish the soup so that all was left for it to simmer until it was ready.

Kazu was usually whiny whenever he was ill. He liked to snuggle to anybody, and on the weekend Mina had been there to snuggle with her brother or Mamoru had spent time with Kazu so that Keiko could work, but today all of those were back at work and Satoshi had a date. Keiko was worried about that.

Satoshi had told her that he liked the girl, but it was fast after Kazu went with Erika-chan for the very first time. Keiko was worried about her son’s feelings, but she knew that she needed to trust Satoshi to know what he was doing and not to be cruel with another person’s feelings.

Sometimes she wondered if she would ever not worry about her children, but she knew that she would feel like that for most of their lives.

She checked on Kazu who was still sleeping and cleaned the table a little as she decided to prepare some herbal tea for him and check on their lunch. When she was sure, everything was ready, she went back to the living room and waked Kazu to force him to eat something.

Kazu whined as he was forced to eat the soup and take his medicine before he was allowed to lie back down. He coughed slightly and huffed as the coughing bout was over to breathe in deeply. Keiko frowned and rechecked his temperature to make sure he hadn’t gotten worse.

“Are you sleepy again?”

“A bit,” Kazu said with a sigh. “But I slept so much already.”

“Sleep is good,” Keiko said with a smile and caressed his cheek. Kazu smiled shyly, and she chuckled.

“Do you want to listen to an audiobook?”

Kazu nodded after a moment, and Keiko smiled as he put it on and sat down beside Kazu again to keep him company until he fell asleep.

It was in the early afternoon that Erika came over with Kazu’s homework. Keiko invited her in, after making sure Kazu was okay with it and listened to their charming conversation for a while, chuckling when Erika managed to make Kazu splutter in embarrassment more than once but also managed to make him giggle and laugh for a bit.

“I have to leave now, Ohno-san,” Erika said and poked her head into the kitchen.

“Of course, thank you for visiting Erika-chan,” she said with a smile.

“I will come tomorrow again if Kazunari-kun is not back at school by then,” she said and blushed slightly.

Keiko nodded at that. “I don’t think he’ll be back for the rest of the week,” she agreed. “And you are welcome any time.”

Erika grinned brightly and nodded her head as she ran over to Kazu and held out her hand a bit insecure. In the end, she took his hand and held it tight for a second. “Get well soon, Kazunari-kun.”

“Uhn, take care on your way home,” Kazu said, burying his head in the cushions as he coughed again. “I can’t bring you today.”

“Silly I know that,” she said and tweaked his nose with a grin when he grimaced. “See you tomorrow.”

Keiko accompanied her to the door and smiled when she looked at Kazu. “Erika-chan is nice,” she mentioned, chuckling when Kazu blushed hard but nodded.

“She is,” he agreed and then sighed. “Very nice.”

“I think you should sleep some more, mh? I’m sure when you wake up again, your head will feel better, and your father will be back.”

“No, Sato-nii?”

“No Satoshi wanted to stay over at friends tonight. Your coughing kept him up last night and tomorrow he has to work early.”

“I didn’t mean to…”

“I know, and he knows, but it’s better that way. So you don’t have to worry.”

“Right. Tell papa to wake me?”

“Sure, sweetheart.”

Kazu smiled and buried himself more in-depth into the blanket as Keiko restarted the audiobook for him to listen to and then went to tend to the garden for a bit.

Chapter Text

Kazu knocked on Satoshi’s door and waited until he was allowed inside. He bopped his head in surprise when he saw that Sho was over, but at least it was not a girl, he thought a bit sour. Satoshi didn’t have time for him whenever that one girl was over, and he didn’t like it.

“Hello Sho-senpai,” he said politely, and the boy grinned down to him.

“Hello, Kazu-kun. How are you doing? How is school? I heard you had the flu last month?”

“Uhn, I’m all better now,” Kazu said with a bright grin. “Mama and papa helped me, and Sato-nii read for me,” he said happily. “And I managed to keep up with homework thanks to Erika-chan’s note and Aiba’s and J’s help.”

“Very good, if there are questions you tell your brother, okay? I can come over and tutor you if needed.”

Kazu grinned and nodded happily. Sho was great at explaining stuff for school when he didn’t get it. Sho had helped him already a few times with English or Maths if it was all over his head and Satoshi wasn’t able to help.

“Did you want something, Kazu?” Satoshi asked then, and he blushed as he stared at his brother.

“Uhn… But I can wait,” he said since he knew he shouldn’t disturb Satoshi when he had friends over. He tippled from one foot to the other, and he didn’t want to be scolded by their parents.

Satoshi chuckled and ruffled his hair. “You can ask me now. Sho and I wanted to go out in a bit.”

“I can wait up until you can home,” he said in a small voice.

“It’ll be late,” Satoshi said and tweaked his nose.

Kazu held his nose and rubbed the spot with his fingertips as he squeaked.

“Bully, Sato-nii,” he said with a pout and Sho laughed.

“Perhaps we can both help? Or is it too private? I can leave for a bit.”

Kazu looked at Sho and then shook his head. It was not a private matter. Sometimes when he was feeling unwell because of his adoption and because bullies teased him about it, he would want to talk to Satoshi alone, but Sho never was mad when he came then.

Satoshi’s girlfriend didn’t like it and because of that Kazu didn’t like Satoshi’s girlfriend. Not because he didn’t pay attention to him when she was there!

“Erika-chan asked for a real date,” he whispered after a few minutes of fidgeting and blushed when the older boys chuckled.

“Finally, huh? Not only meeting for video games or school work?” Satoshi said and ruffled his hair.

Kazu nodded and stared to the floor. “What do you do on a real date?” he asked nervously.

Sho grinned as he led him to the bed so that he would sit down and changed places with Satoshi so that Satoshi sat down on the bed beside Kazu while he sat on the chair.

“I suppose you can go where you like to go,” Satoshi said, and Kazu shook his head.

“I like the arcade. I go there with Aiba and J all the time. I don’t think it’s a good place? Would that be a real date?”

“Well…” Sho said and shrugged. “It probably depends on what you two do there, but it’s true it is a bit strange as a place to date,” he agreed.

Kazu looked from Sho to Satoshi and stared at him with big eyes. “Or I go to the baseball field. Do you think that’s good?”

“No, probably not,” Satoshi agreed and hummed in thought.

Kazu stared at him with big hopeful eyes, and Satoshi had to hold back as not to squish him because he looked a lot like a little hopeful puppy right now.

“The amusement park is a popular place to go.”

“Kazu doesn’t do well with roller-coasters,” Satoshi disagreed. “And I don’t think it’s good for him to throw up most of the time.”

Kazu nodded and nibbled on his lower lip. He was fine going with his friends because nobody forced him on anything he couldn’t stand. But that would be really uncool in front of Erika-chan.

“Oh, I see. So it would be best if you went to a place where you can have plenty of face-to-face interaction so that you can talk. I wouldn’t go to the cinema just yet. Somewhere where you can talk a lot but also maybe where there is something to distract you if you run out of words. Do you have silences sometimes, Kazu-kun?”

“Uhn, we talk about school work then.”

“Schoolwork is a no for your date,” Satoshi said with a chuckle and bopped the tip of his nose when Kazu wrinkled it.

“Why?”

“Because Erika-chan wants a special day. Not a day you normally can have all the time.”

“Your brother is right,” Sho nodded, and Kazu sighed as he nodded in understanding.

“Oh, there is that new place where you can play mini-golf. That would be a good place,” Satoshi suddenly said.

“True, you can play around, talk a lot and it’s fun.”

“Really?”

“Yup. I will even give you extra allowance then, Kazu. But you need to make sure to pay for Erika-chan the entry fee and then get her something to drink and a snack, promise? You need to be a gentleman.”

Kazu stared at him with wide eyes and nodded before he grinned and hugged him tightly.

“Thank you Sato-nii! I tell her right away,” he cheered and jumped to his feet to leave them behind.

Sho shared a sympathetic look with Satoshi when the other crumbled on the bed. “Young love, how cute… You are a great big brother.”

“I just wished it wouldn’t hurt,” Satoshi whispered and rubbed his eyes. “Oh well, let’s go, or I’m late to meet Yumi.”

Sho watched him but then nodded in agreement as he stood and they left together Satoshi’s house to go to the meet-up with their friends for a group date.

—

“Oooh. This time its Erika-chan and Kazu-kun!” Aiba cheered and clapped his hands with some of their other friends.

They both exchanged a look, and Nino blushed slightly as he saw that Erika-chan was also red on the face.

“I will stop the time,” Jun said and stood as Aiba dragged Kazu up while another girl pulled up Erika.

“But we’ll understand if you want to stay in there longer,” Aiba said and winked (or at least tried to wink) at him.

“Stupid,” Kazu said as he pushed the older away when Aiba almost shoved him into the small cupboard. He groaned when his shoulder hit the wall and soon after Erika was inside as well and the door was closed.

They were all having a pyjama party at a classmates place. Kazu had no idea how watching movies and eating snacks ended up with them all playing first truth or dare - where Kazu had stuck to truth all the time to be safe - and now to three minutes in heaven - or in this case three minutes in a cupboard with another person out of sight and hearing of the rest.

“Are you alright?” he asked Erika in a whisper a few seconds of silence between them and Erika held his hand tightly.

“I don’t like small spaces,” she whispered, and he frowned.

“I can demand them to let us out,” he offered, but she shook her head.

He stayed silent again as they stared at each other in silence and Nino felt heat all over his body.

“Will you kiss me?” she asked shyly, and he blinked. “Do you want to?”

Erika was silence for two more heartbeats and only because they were so close was he able to feel her nod very slowly. Kazu licked his lips, feeling very nervous suddenly.

“Have you kissed someone yet?” he asked, and she shook her head.

“Me neither.”

“We could be each other’s first kiss then?”

Kazu nodded even if it somehow didn’t sit right with him. He felt strange, and the slightly nauseous feeling in the pit of his stomach was back. Just as always when they talked about relationships.

She went closer, and Kazu took a deep breath, moving closer as well when suddenly the door was pulled open. They jumped apart, eyes wide as they stared into the grinning faces of their friends who were cheering and hooting.

Kazu opened his lips to deny that anything happened because it didn’t, but Erika hushed him with a small tug at his fingers.

—

It was days later, and Kazu had met up with Erika-chan behind the gym at school. There had been a kiss then, a small one but his first kiss nonetheless.

It had ended soon with Erika stepping back and smiling sadly. “It doesn’t feel right, ne?”

Kazu looked down at his fingers and nodded. It didn’t. There were no fireworks like Aiba had explained, or a pleasant feeling like his Jun had explained. It just felt strange and maybe even a bit disgusting, but he knew better than to say that out loud.

Kazu felt tears in his eyes, as he asked himself if he was not normal because of that, but he held them in.

“We can go back to just being friends, right?” he asked after he was sure he could trust his voice again.

Erika giggled, and he felt her fingers on his elbow. “Of course, we can play games again.”

“I would like that.”

“Goodbye, Kazu-kun.”

He nodded and listened to her steps as they fade away. And even if he didn’t love her as he had thought, it still hurt, he thought as he finally went home.

He was unhappy to see that neither his mother nor his father was there. His father had been expected since he was at work until the evenings, but usually, his mother would await him if there was no emergency. He sniffled, feeling tears building up again in his eyes.

It was silly to cry over the break-up. They had agreed to stay friends after all! And he hadn’t liked the kiss! Still, it hurt, and he wanted a hug now. Mina was out at university, and he blinked when he heard sounds from Satoshi’s room.

So at least his big brother was at home, he thought and went up to the room of the other. He didn’t think of anything when he opened the door without knocking for once, and his eyes widened with a small shocked sound as he saw his big brother on top of his girlfriend. He stared for a second stunned until they realised he was there and then turned around on his heels running away while the tears he had fought so hard to hold back finally spilt. It hurt even more now.

Chapter Text

Satoshi flinched when he heard the small sound he was sure was not coming from his girlfriend - Yuriko - under him. But his mind was soon occupied again by the girl under him. Only when he heard fast steps and the loud bang of the door falling shut, did he know that he had not imagined the gasp.

He carefully sat up, ignoring for a second that she tried to pull him back. “Satoshi,” Yuriko whined, and he pecked her cheek.

“Something happened to Kazu,” Satoshi said and rubbed his face. “I have to check up on him.”

“You always put him first,” she said with a frown and Satoshi tried very hard not to roll his eyes at that.

“Of course I do. He is my little brother.”

Yuriko grumbled but let him go as he climbed off the bed and for a second Satoshi felt overwhelming fond of the girl. Yes, she sometimes complained or whined when she thought that he put too much attention to Kazu, but she always let it go if she realised that he was seriously worried about the younger boy. He was thankful for that.

“You are lucky I’m so fond of you,” she said, and he buried his hands in her hair to press his lips against her forehead.

“I am,” he agreed and grinned when she fell back to the mattress and shooed him away.

“Go, I will enjoy myself and snoop around.”

Ohno rolled his eyes before he finally left his room. He moved towards Kazu’s room since he thought that Kazu would hide there and knocked at the door, before trying to open it, to find that he couldn’t open it. Kazu had clearly locked his door, which was a first for him.

“Kazu? What is wrong? Let me in.”

“Go away!” Kazu cried out. His voice was muffled, and Ohno could hear the tears in it. It broke his heart not to be allowed in and hold Kazu until he stopped crying.

“Kazu. What happened? Are you hurt?”

“I don’t want to talk to you! Go away! Leave me alone!” Kazu yelled louder now, and Satoshi flinched. He lifted his hand again to knock, not realising that tears were in his own eyes when he felt a hand on top of his own.

“Let him be,” Yuriko said softly and pulled him along.

“But…”

“He’s hurt. If you push him now, he will say things you both will later regret.”

Satoshi bit his lips but allowed her to pull him along back to his room. He knew that she was right in a way. Kazu had always been very emotional and lashed out if he was overwhelmed and didn’t know how to articulate himself properly.

Yuriko pushed him down onto the bed, and he leant against the headrest. He closed his eyes and rubbed his face. “I hate seeing him crying.”

“Of course, he is your little brother and very dear to you,” she said carefully, and he opened his eyes to watch her curiously at the tone of her voice.

She sat on his lap and cupped his cheek—her thumb tracing his cheek to catch the tears dropping down.

“He is,” he said in the end and sighed defeated, awaiting the scorn he was sure that she would feel for him.

“I always knew you had a brother complex. I thought it was because he is adopted, and you felt the need to protect him even more than normal older siblings do. I also knew that there was still someone in your heart that kept hold of a part of it and made it harder for me to get inside fully. I would never have thought it was all the same boy,” she mumbled and pecked his cheeks.

“You are calmer than I thought,” Satoshi said surprised and she shrugged as she leant against him and Satoshi put his arms around her smaller body.

He liked holding her, and he liked to be close to her, he couldn’t hide that. And he didn’t want to hide it. It was a conflicting and confusing feeling for him to really enjoy the time with Yuriko and still knowing that he felt love for his little brother even if it was wrong.

“I always knew that I have to share your heart with another person. Two persons even, your brother and the person you fell for. It’s, in all honesty, relieving to know it’s just one person.”

“That sounds very bitter for someone our age,” Satoshi said and for a second forgot about the pain that was the knowledge of the problem Kazu was in.

“Maybe,” Yuriko agreed and stretched out on his lap. Ohno chuckled and buried his nose in her hair. He had always known that she was easy going and at the same time probably a bit hurt that she put more into their relationship than he did. But that just made him want to try harder, and he knew if Yuriko ever told him she wanted to leave it would hurt a lot.

Ohno sighed and closed his eyes, hugging her more tightly as he tried to forget about Kazu’s pain. “What do you think happened?”

“I don’t know. The only thing I’m sure of is that he is not physically hurt.”

“You realise that it would almost be better if it were a physical wound? I could bandage that. If his heart is wounded, it’s harder to help him heal. Besides he doesn’t want to see me.”

“Because he is shocked to have seen us in that position. I’m sure tonight he will come to his big brother for comforting hugs and cry his heart out.”

Satoshi chuckled at those words and nodded. He really wished that would happen.

—

Kazu hadn’t come to him, nor their parents as Satoshi discovered when his mother called him down after dinner with a very subdued Kazu. He was pushing his food around on his plate instead of eating anything until his mother allowed him to leave.

“Do you know what happened to Kazu? He looked down?”

Satoshi sighed and shook his head. “He came home and saw me with Yuriko. I don’t know what has upset him, but he refused to talk to me while she was there and even after she was gone.”

Keiko sighed and came over to hug him tightly. Satoshi let out a shuddering breath as he fell against his mother, glad for her support. It hurt him that Kazu denied him entry to his room and didn’t talk to him. He feared that he had hurt him through his actions even if he didn’t know what he had done wrong.

“Puberty,” Keiko said and ruffled his hair. “I’ll try to talk to him. But don’t think you did anything wrong, okay?”

“I’ll try,” Satoshi promised and enjoyed the hug for a moment longer before he stepped back. “I’ll take a bath and head for bed. I have an early shift tomorrow,” he groaned.

She grinned and nodded. “Of course, sleep well, my dear.”

Satoshi kissed her cheek and then went to the bathroom to wash up and get ready to bed. He stood in front of Kazu’s room for a moment lifting his fingers as to open the door, but then stopped. He was not welcomed right now, and even if it hurt, he didn’t want to force himself on Kazu. He sighed as he went to his room and threw himself on the bed. He closed his eyes and put an arm across his face. He should sleep, but he couldn’t help himself as he tried to listen for any sounds coming from the other room. But it was all silent, and somehow that was louder than the familiar beeping sounds or music coming from there.

He didn’t know when he fell to sleep, but he was woken up by Kazu screaming and crying and was up in an instant. He jumped to his feet and opened the door as he ran over to the other room.

He blinked when he saw Keiko already sitting beside Kazu and holding the trashing body, rocking him side to side as she tried hard to calm him down and wake him up. It took Satoshi a moment to recognise the old lullaby his mother always sang for Kazu, and he felt awful for Satoshi to see Kazu like that again.

“Mum…” he whispered, and Keiko looked up. “Please leave, Satoshi,” Keiko whispered. “I’m sure Kazu would be embarrassed if you saw him like that.”

Satoshi was hesitant, but in the end, he nodded and left them alone, closing the door.

He could hear Kazu wake up with a gasp and then as he cried against their mother’s shoulder, apologising for doing things wrong and begging for her not to hurt him and it broke Ohno’s heart.

—

“Oh my sweet child,” Keiko hummed and rocked him in her arms until he calmed down and realised that he was safe and in her arms. “You did nothing wrong, please don’t fear I would hurt you or anybody in this family.”

Kazu sniffled and pressed his face against her shoulder or tried, but Keiko moved him back to clean his wet cheeks with her fingers. He nodded and snuggled closer to his mother. He couldn’t help himself. Sometimes the bad dreams just came, and then he saw dark figures standing over him, shouting and hitting him. He didn’t know where those dreams came from, but he could imagine that it was from his birth mother, and it scared him.

“Kazu what happened? It has been a while since you were this upset.”

“I…” he rubbed his eyes and grimaced slightly. “Erika broke up with me,” he said. “It hurts. I wanted to go to Sato-nii, but Yuriko-san was there, and she doesn’t like me, and it hurt to see them, and I ran away, and he hates me now. And everybody hates me,” he hiccoughed, new tears streaming down his cheeks.

“Nobody hates you, my sweet child. Satoshi is worried about you and not angry or anything like that.”

“But I just stormed inside,” he whispered. “I have to knock. He said so.”

“I know, but he knows you were upset and forgot. That’s okay, and you can apologise tomorrow.”

Kazu nodded and rubbed his eyes as he slowly calmed down. His mother was right, for sure. She always was.

Keiko smiled fondly at him and wiped his face clean again before she allowed him to lay back into the bed. “Or do you need to come to mine and your papa’s room?” she teased, and he smiled weakly. He still remembered the warmth in his parents’ bed fondly, but he knew he was too old for that now, so he shook his head, before getting shy again and blushed slightly.

“But can you sing me a lullaby?”

“Of course, sweetheart,” she chuckled and kissed his forehead, before smoothing out the blanket and patting his hair until he closed his eyes. She started to sing watching as he breathes evened out again and he fell asleep to the last verse of the song.

“From your head down to your toes
You’re not much, goodness knows.
But, you’re so precious to me.
Sweet as can be, baby of mine.”

Chapter Text

“I’m sorry,” Kazu whispered when Satoshi entered the room after a small knock and the older boy smiled softly.

“What for?” Satoshi asked as he carefully balanced the tray he was holding until he could put it down on the side cupboard of the bed. “For falling ill yet again?”

There was a teasing smile on Satoshi’s face to show his little brother that he was not mad at him. He honestly wasn’t. Kazu suffered from bad health, and he knew it was partly because of his past. It was sad to see that it still affected Kazu in that way, but there was nothing to do about that.

“No, that you had to stay home with me,” Kazu said with a small pout on his face. “I’m sure you would be happier if you were with your friends or girlfriend.” He wrinkled his nose at the last work, and Satoshi chuckled at his antics.

He ruffled his hair and rolled his eyes. “You are cute when you pout. But it can’t be helped, ne? Dad is away for work, Nee-san has her exams and has to stay in university and Mum needs to look after grandfather,” he said and propped Kazu up with a few cushions. “Besides, it has been a while since I was alone with my little brother, and Yuriko is busy.”

Kazu blushed slightly and hid his face. He and Satoshi had spent less time together in the last few weeks since Kazu had seen them in the bedroom, but they were mostly normal around each other. After all, there were family and game time, and Kazu had started to open up to Satoshi again, after getting successfully over his first break-up. Even if he still tried to not be at home whenever Yuriko was there. If they came across each other Yuriko would smirk or grin while the younger boy would blush badly and run to his room or out wherever he wanted to go right then.

“But that’s not the point here, how are you feeling?” Satoshi asked and felt his forehead. He frowned as it was still way too hot for his liking and sighed as he changed the fever patch. “Are you hungry?”

“No,” Kazu said with evident distaste in his voice, and Satoshi pouted playfully.

“I didn’t cook, but just warmed up one of the freezer meals of Mum!” he said and smiled when Kazu’s lips twitched in slight amusement. It was better than the groggy worn-out look on Kazu’s face.

“Still not hungry. I don’t want food. My tummy hurts,” he whined, and Satoshi sighed as he patted his head.

“I know, Kazu,” he whispered. “But you need to eat to get better again. And without food in your stomach, you can’t take medicine.”

“I can,” Kazu said with a pout, and Satoshi shook his head.

“No you’ll end up throwing up, and I don’t want to clean that,” Satoshi explained, ignoring the low whine from his brother as he put the blanket over him again since it had slipped down. “Eat something, or do I need to feed you?”

Kazu glared at him, but there was no heat in his eyes since he was as weak as a kitten and Ohno smiled as he tapped the cute button nose and pulled the tray over to start feeding Kazu. Kazu pressed his lips to close for a second longer before he opened them under Satoshi’s gentle nudging.

It took a while until Kazu had eaten most of the bowl and Ohno allowed him to drink a bit of tea and take the cold medicine. Satoshi helped him lie down and pick up the tray when Kazu’s fingers clenched around his shirt. “I don’t want to be alone,” he cried.

“Clingy,” Satoshi whispered but put the tray down and caressed his hair. He caught the tears clinging to his eyelashes and sighed. “I’ll stay until you fall asleep, okay?”

“Uhn,” Kazu mumbled and held tightly to his hand when he finally caught it.

Satoshi chuckled and watched his little brother fall to sleep sighing at the tears that spilt over when Kazu dozed off.

“Silly boy,” he whispered and held his hand as he leant back, knowing how lonely Kazu could get when he was ill, and this was better than household chores.

—

Two nights later the fever has finally gone down, and Satoshi had allowed Kazu to stay in the living room with him for a movie night since Kazu had whined so much about being bored in bed especially since he had a hard time concentrating on any of his games.

So Satoshi had prepared them some snacks and lots of drinks and made sure that Kazu stayed under the blankets on the sofa before starting the first movie of the night. Kazu was all bundled up, munching on the sweet popcorn Satoshi had prepared, with his head on Satoshi’s lap who was playing with the soft strands, his fingers straying to his temple and forehead now and then to check his temperature. If it raised again, he would make Kazu go back to bed, but so far it was fine.

“Sato-nii?”

“Mhmm?” Satoshi looked down when he felt Kazu turn on his lap to look up at him. “Bored of the movie already?”

Kazu shook his head slowly and furrowed his brows.

“Sleepy do you need to go back to bed?”

“I don’t wanna,” he mumbled and looked back at the screen.

Satoshi hummed and tickled his cheek as he watched him for a moment longer. Kazu’s cheeks were slightly red, and he nibbled on his lower lip as he stared at the TV.

His eyes were not moving, though, so it was clear that he was not watching the movie but contemplating something in his head. And Satoshi felt a bit bad for teasing him.

“What is up, Kazu?” he asked then, and Kazu shook his head.

“Nothing,” he mumbled and held his hand. “You’ll always be my big brother, right?” he asked after a few moments, though.

Satoshi felt his heart clench slightly at the small voice and then patted his head. “Of course, silly. Why?”

Kazu glanced at him slightly, but then he shook his head as he looked back at the TV, now finally following the movie once again.

“Kazu…” Satoshi began, and Kazu looked at him for a second before concentrating back on the movie. “Whatever it is, you can always tell me. You know that, right?”

“Uhn,” Kazu said and squeezed his fingers tightly. “Thank you.”

Satoshi rubbed his earlobe, smiling when Kazu wriggled on top of him because he was ticklish there but then allowed him to watch the movie in peace.

—

“You can ask your brother!” Masaki’s voice yelled excitedly and Satoshi blinked when Kazu hissed, and there was a muffled shout.

He chuckled as he stared at the door of his little brother’s room and wondered what was going on between him and his friends that they were so loud.

There was a crash and then laughter coming that sounded definitely like Jun and for a second Satoshi worried that one of the three was hurt. He stared at the door, lost in thought if he should check upon them, but decided against it.

“Shut up, Masaki! If anybody hurts you. And stop laughing, J!”

Satoshi chuckled at the tone in his brother’s voice. He was definitely flushed, and it made Satoshi just more curious about what was going on.

Oh well, there was nothing he could do right now to find out - because it would be too embarrassing for Kazu if he stepped in like that. And Satoshi knew it was better for him as well to stay out of the dispute. Still, he couldn’t help but be curious.

He entered his room and let the door fall shut more loudly than he usually would, to maybe draw the other three boys out of Kazu’s room and talk with him.

He shrugged out of his work clothes and hang them carefully on the side to wear them again tomorrow.

He changed into more comfortable clothes and fell to his bed to read a comic book as he tried to relax and not listen to whatever happened in the room beside his.

It took maybe an hour or so until there was a knock at his door and Satoshi sat up, before allowing the three boys in.

Satoshi was amused as he watched them. Jun looked sceptical, like whatever they had talked about didn’t entertain him that much, Kazu looked embarrassed and was shuffling his feet as he stared at the floor. He was being pushed to the front by Masaki, who was the only one looking excited and happy.

“What are you three up to?” he asked and Masaki nudged Kazu again, making the smaller boy almost fall. Kazu glared at him and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“Ask yourself,” he hissed and Satoshi lifted his eyebrow.

“I won’t buy you drugs,” he said flatly, and Kazu paled for a second before he shook his head.

“That’s not it!” he yelled. “What the hell!? Sato-nii, how would you even…?”

Satoshi’s eyes were dancing in amusement. “Cigarettes and alcohol are drugs, as well. And you are way too young,” he scolded, and Kazu huffed.

“As if anyone would want that,” he grumbled with a wrinkled nose. Cigarettes smelled awful, and he was scared for life about alcohol since he had accidentally taken a sip of his grandfather's sake when he was younger. He had spit it out right away and cried half of the evening in his mother’s arm because of the taste.

Satoshi chuckled and observed the three of them. “So, what is it?”

Masaki was swaying in joy as Jun looked a bit unsure now and Kazu was once again tongue-tied. What was going on in those heads, Satoshi wondered.

“This is dumb…” Jun started and was about to drag the other two away again when Aiba blurted out: “Porn!”

“Masaki!” Kazu hissed again and turned around fast. He was swaying slightly because the movement was too fast, and Jun stared wide-eyed at the other boy as well.

They were all blushing now, and Satoshi couldn’t help but giggle at their antics. “Porn?” he asked and tried not to succumb to laughter as he looked at the scandalised looks of Jun and Kazu while Masaki looked hopeful.

“Yes, we want to watch some. And we can’t buy them,” Masaki said. “But you can!”

“Please just forget it,” Kazu whined and tried to run out of the room, but was stopped by Masaki.

“We agreed to ask,” the older said, and Kazu grimaced.

“It is embarrassing!” Kazu hissed, and Satoshi wasn’t sure if Kazu had forgotten he was in the room with them.

“It’s the duty of a big brother. I will have a collection ready whenever Yusuke is old enough.”

“Gross,” Jun mumbled, and Kazu looked close to throwing up at the thought of Masaki showing his little brother porn. Yusuke was only nine after all.

Satoshi thought Masaki had a point probably - even if the boy was way too excited about it - and if he was honest, he had awaited Kazu to ask him about such stuff. It made somehow sense though that the other two pushed him towards that direction.

“Sure,” he said after a little thought. “I can do that. Better that way than you trying to find something on the internet,” Satoshi mumbled with a shudder. That way, he could choose what he thought was safe.

“Yay!” Masaki cheered and ran over to hug him. “We want to meet at the weekend. Jun-kun is alone then, can you give it to Kazu then?”

Satoshi looked at Kazu, who seemed slightly insecure and wanted to cry but also very hopeful and nodded. “Sure,” he decided and chuckled when Kazu hid his face behind his hands while Jun thanked him as well.

Later that night, Kazu slipped into his room, and Satoshi looked up with a smile.

“Thought you would appear,” Satoshi whispered and lifted his blanket for the boy to slip in beside him since it was cold in his room.

“I’m sorry for the mess earlier. You don’t have to…” Kazu mumbled.

“It’s okay… Honestly.”

“Did you ask…?”

“Nee-san?”

Kazu nodded and hid his face. “No, I had older friends,” Satoshi reminded him and ruffled his hair. “It’s fun.”

Kazu wrinkled his nose as he couldn’t believe it entirely, but he also felt slight excitement in the pit of his stomach about experiencing that.

“You won’t tell mama and papa, promise?”

“I promise, you can trust me,” Satoshi said with a smile and bopped his nose.

“Thank you Sato-nii,” Kazu whispered, gifting him with a brilliant smile.

Satoshi hugged him for a moment and then allowed him to leave when Kazu felt calm enough to sleep in his bed.

Satoshi sighed and laid on his back, pressing the balls of his hands against his eyes as to not fantasising about his little brother masturbating. He was happy for the trust Kazu put into him, but he also could do without knowing how much his brother grew up.

Chapter Text

They all looked a bit awkwardly at each other and moved nervously on their seats before Jun jumped to his feet. “I’ll go shower first!” he declared, running out of the room without any other word and for a second Kazu wished he could run away as well. But he was not so sure his feet would be able to carry him home right now. He still felt hazy.

Kazu glanced at Aiba who stared at the now black screen a bit longer, a small smile on his face and then stared down at his hands. Watching porn with others, Nino thought, was really stupid and awkward and a little bit scary.

Jun came back two more towels in his hand and threw them at Nino and Aiba, bringing them out of their dazes. Aiba was grinning slightly.

“Should we…” he started, but Jun was glaring at him.

“No, take your showers, and we can play a game,” he decided, and Nino got to his feet relieved. He was glad that he was not the only one who felt a bit strange after today. It had been educational, maybe, a tiny bit, he thought, his mind going back to the movie they just had watched. There were questions in the back of his mind, but he was too tired and ashamed to be able to formulate them even in his head, so he gave up. He got to his shaky feet and managed a smile.

“Thanks a shower sounds good,” he mumbled and dashed out of the room to get to the bathroom and take a shower. It was refreshing the sound of the water running over him, calming down his heart and mind, and he closed his eyes for a second. He was not sure how normal it was that his eyes lingered more on the man than the woman in the movie, but maybe it was just down to being shy, and he knew male bodies just so much better than female bodies. Heat raised in his cheeks as his mind went back to the had lines of the man’s body, and how he had orgasmed just when he had done. He was sure it was normal and okay. At least he hoped so, he thought with a groan as he washed away the soap on his body and changed into the new underwear he had brought with him, deciding not to think about all the embarrassment he had gone through just for this stupid idea of Aiba, he thought unhappily.

Aiba banged on the door, and Nino snorted as he slipped outside to let the other in. “You’re loud,” he grumbled.

“And you sure take your time showering,” Aiba complained right back as Nino stuck out his tongue.

Back in the living room, the windows were wide open, bringing in the fresh air, the rest of the room was cleaned, and the other two had put the chairs - because neither of them would have wanted to sit close to each other on the sofa - back to the kitchen.

“J?”

“Kitchen!”

Kazu wandered over to the kitchen and smiled weakly at Jun. “Do you need a hand?”

“I thought snacks and drinks were okay. Or do you want to go home right away?” Jun asked with furrowed brows as he stared at him.

Kazu fidgeted slightly. On the one hand, going home would mean that he could hide away from the awkwardness he was sure would happen later on and he could be alone with his thoughts. On the other hand, being alone with his thoughts sounded scary, and Jun got that new party game that his parents told him he had to wait for until his birthday or Christmas if he didn’t want to buy it himself. And Nino already put most of his pocket money towards a collectable figure he really wanted. Kazu also knew that Jun would prefer them to stay a bit longer since he always felt uncomfortable alone at home, even if he would never tell his parents.

“Okay,” Kazu nodded in the end and smiled. “Playing a game or two sounds good.”

He was rewarded by a bright smile from Jun who poured the freshly popped popcorn in a big bowl and Nino helped him to bring all the snacks he had made into the living room where Aiba was already lazing on the floor in front of the sofa, a game controller in his hands as he prepared the party game that they all wanted to try.

—

“Come on, we can watch another video,” Aiba said and slightly nudged Kazu as he nibbled on his lips. “My parents already said it’s fine for me to stay overnight.”

“And I will make sure Masaki won’t choose the movie,” Jun snorted. Kazu looked at Aiba’s pout and giggled.

“I don’t know if I’m allowed to stay overnight. I haven’t asked mama or papa,” Kazu said with a frown. And his parents were always a bit overly worried about him. Kazu knew it was partly because of his past - not that Kazu had dared to ask a lot yet. He knew that his parents adopted him and that his birth mother had not been ready to have children.

Kazu also knew that his emotional problems stemmed a lot from his past and that his parents loved him a lot, and at the end, that was all that mattered. Thinking about his real mother hurt and made him panic a lot, so he tried not to do that.

The other part of worry from his parents was because he was the youngest of the family. Satoshi used to tease him that his mother still saw him as their baby, which of course was untrue, but at the same time, his mother was a lot more protective about him. Therefore Kazu knew that they would worry if they knew Jun’s parents weren’t at home.

He huffed at the thought and rolled his eyes. Then again, they had watched their first porn today, so he was NOT a child anymore (not that he would tell his mother that small detail. God the embarrassment at just that thought.)

“I can ask,” he said when the other two looked expectantly at them.

“Great! We can order take-out,” Jun said excitedly, and Nino scrunched up his nose.

“I didn’t bring money,” he mumbled. “I didn’t think I would need it.”

“I got money from my parents. If we chose cheap food we’d be fine,” Jun said, but he didn’t sound as sure anymore, and Nino felt a bit uncomfortable because he knew that it would be hard for three meals and he didn’t like the thought of Jun not getting what he was looking forward to because Jun’s parents never allowed take-out usually.

Still, he stood to follow Jun to the phone and called his parents, smiling thankfully when Jun left him alone for as long as he needed.

“Hey, mama,” he greeted happily when the woman answered the phone.

“Sweetheart, is everything okay? Did something happen, or do you need a ride home?”

“No, everything is alright. Jun asked if we wanted to stay overnight. Masaki’s parents already said yes.”

There was silence at the other end, and Nino played nervously with the cord as he could already imagine the frown on her face.

“What do his parents say?”

“Jun is alone tonight. His parents are out with his grandparents,” he explained.

“You lot could sleep over here…” she said slowly, and Kazu grimaced. That was not an idea he liked. “But you probably would want to be on your own and not under parental observation,” she sighed, and Kazu knew that she was reminding herself that he was growing up.

“Mama, may I?”

“Do you have a change of clothes? And what are you going to eat?”

“We were thinking of getting take-out and have snacks while watching a movie. Maybe we’ll run to the conbini.” He thought of his dirtied shorts and tried hard not to blush as he hummed. “And no, I don’t, but it’s okay for one night.”

“I will send Satoshi over with some new clothes and some money so that you can pay your share.”

“Jun got money from his parents,” Kazu said, trying to sound not too hopeful or eager because his own money for food would be great. “And I’m sure Sato-nii has plans?”

Kazu could hear her calling Satoshi and his brother answering back, before some more words and then his brother on the line.

“Kazu, I will come over before I meet up with my friends. Do you have any preferences?”

“No,” Nino said, hiding his red face when Satoshi laughed at the other end.

“How about your teddy?”

“NO! You’re stupid, Sato-nii,” he grumbled, and Satoshi giggled.

“Did you lot have fun?”

“I’m hanging up,” Kazu mumbled with a frown as hid his face behind his hands.

“Got it, I will hurry, I’m sure after today you need nourishment.”

“Sato-nii!” he yelled and with laughter in his voice Satoshi told him to take care and that his mother wanted him to call if anything happened before ending the call.

Nino buried his head in his knees, breathing in and out deeply as he tried to calm down. When he was sure he was not blushing anymore, he went to the living room to tell the other two he was allowed to stay overnight and that his brother would come soon over to check on them and give him money for their dinner.

Chapter Text

Satoshi rang the doorbell to Jun's family home, and soon enough, the door opened a bit. He chuckled when he was met with a glare from his little brother.

"Sato-nii," he mumbled in greeting, a deep frown on his face and Satoshi had to bit his lips as not to laugh out loud. Kazu held out his hand and looked at him. "My stuff," he asked when Satoshi lifted his eyebrow. "Please."

"You do realise that mum wanted me to make sure all three of you are still alive?" Satoshi asked with a soft smile, but he was already pulling the bag off his shoulder.

Kazu snorted and glared at him. "What are you even talking about. Nobody is dead or hurt," he grumbled. "And I won't let you in. You will just make fun of us!"

"Ouch," Satoshi said as he winced playfully, but thought it was fair. He had teased his little brother a lot over the phone.

Kazu wriggled against the doorway as he tried his hardest not to open the door any further. Satoshi put the bag's strap in his hand and held his palm for a second.

"What?" Kazu asked with a frown, staring down at their hands for a second, before snatching it away and putting the bag behind his bag. "I'm not changing my mind."

"Mum gave me extra for emergencies," Satoshi explained, and Kazu pursed his lips. They would be staying at home, so he didn't get the reason, but still, he nodded slowly. "And she told me to make sure you know that you can call them any time tonight. It doesn't matter how late and they will come over if something happened."

"We are not babies."

"But mum worries," Satoshi reminded him and bopped his nose. He couldn't help himself. Kazu wrinkled it as in answer with a small pout.

"She doesn't if it's you."

"She does," Satoshi said patiently. "But surely you are the baby of the family if you like it or not. It's normal Kazu."

Kazu deflated and then nodded slowly. "I will call if something happens, but I'm sure it won't."

"Don't watch horror movies."

"I hate you."

"No, honestly. Horror movies are scary when you are alone the first time," Satoshi said seriously. "This is just me caring, okay? No teasing this time."

Kazu grumbled but nodded as he sighed. "Go away now. I'm home tomorrow around ten or so."

"Good, greetings to the rest, have fun, try not to cry."

Kazu stuck out his tongue at Satoshi and pushed him away finally when he could hear Jun asking if Satoshi would come in or not.

Satoshi laughed as he wriggled his eyebrows and Kazu glared back at him once more, before closing the door. Awful meddling big brothers!

—

"Satoshi already left?" Jun asked surprised when Kazu came back to the living room, and Kazu nodded with a hum.

"He's off to meet with his girlfriend," he said and wrinkled his nose. He found it very strange that Satoshi had a girlfriend even if he could not put his finger on why.

"Jealous?" Aiba teased, and Kazu rolled his eyes.

"Of course not. It's just… I mean I saw them making out, so it's strange," he ended lamely. "But anyway I got money and mama, and papa said to call if anything happened and they will come over."

Jun nodded with a grin and ruffled Kazu's hair who groaned and pushed the other away. "Leave me alone. I'm hungry, let's order food already!"

"Yes, yes," Jun said, and Aiba cheered as his stomach had already grumbled before Satoshi had come. But without the necessary money, they couldn't order anything, of course. Jun pulled out the restaurant's pamphlet he wanted to order from, and they all bent over the leaflet to decide on something.

"So what should we watch? Horror movies?" Aiba tried again after Jun had made the necessary calls and they all lounged on the sofa.

Jun rubbed his temple as Kazu shook his head. He didn't like horror movies to begin with, and even without Satoshi's words, he didn't want to see them. But Satoshi's warning had made that decision just clearer to him.

"I don't like them," Kazu mumbled and kicked Aiba's ankle when the other pouted. "And you don't either. You are scared all the time if you watch one!"

"But that's the fun part!" Aiba said. Kazu snorted but shook his head again. "Spoilsport."

"We can watch an action movie or something. There is one I wanted to watch. Dad bought it before they left. And no we won't re-watch the porn video again. You can take it home and do it on your own!"

"Didn't you like it?" Aiba asked with impossibly big eyes, and Nino wriggled uncomfortably on the sofa.

Jun shrugged and then snorted. "Of course, I did." Jun rolled his eyes and hit Aiba's head when he grinned. "But it's strange to watch together and get off to it."

Kazu observed Jun and giggled after a second when he realised that even if Jun tried so very hard to be confident and nonplussed, he was blushing quite severely.

"The woman was pretty. Very hot looking," Aiba hummed in agreement. Kazu nibbled on his lips as he tried hard to remember how she even looked, but it was hard and a mess in his head, but he nodded mutely when Jun agreed, saying how much he liked her butt. He felt uncomfortable between them but supposed that it was normal for boys to talk about such things, so he wanted to do the same.

He sighed inwardly and frowned a bit as he pursed his lips and pressed his chin against his knees. Why was it always so hard to be just ordinary.

"What do you think, Kazu?"

"Huh?"

"Do you like breasts or butts more?" Jun repeated, and Aiba giggled beside them. "Masaki says breasts because it's just natural. I like butts more."

Kazu shrugged and frowned a little bit at the question. He had never thought about that. And how did you even come to that conclusion? It's not as if he would stare at his classmates. That was just perverse. "Dunno," he grumbled. "You don't stare at people…"

"Of course you don't if you are not a pervert! But there are magazines," Jun agreed and shoved Kazu's shoulder who cried out in shock as he was pushed into Aiba, who giggled and wormed his arms around his body.

"Leave Kazu alone, Jun-kun. He is just an innocent baby."

"I'm not a baby," Kazu snorted. "Stop it; it's unfair."

"Okay, okay, but you're innocent. That's cute."

"We can't all be perverts like you are," Kazu grumbled, grinning when Aiba pouted, and Jun nodded in agreement. He was saved by the bell for more teasing though as Jun jumped to his feet and grabbed the money they had already all collected on the middle of the table.

"Food, food, food," Aiba sang, and Kazu chuckled as he wriggled out of his hold.

"You're so stupid."

Aiba grinned but shrugged at his words and then started to clear out the stuff on the table and put in the movie. Nino breathed in relief as he hoped to have a bit more time to collect his thoughts again before the other two would ask again about his likes and dislikes in women. He frowned as he tried to remember what he liked in Erika, but that had been easy. She was friendly, he liked her smile and laughs, and she was a killer at video games, and her hands had been warm in his when they walked.

He sighed and nibbled on his lower lip as his mind again went to the video they had watched earlier and how his eyes had strayed to the man more than the woman. Maybe he was not expected, he thought unhappily as Jun came back and handed out their ordered meals with a grin.

—

It was late in the evening, and they were all piled up in Jun's room. Jun had pulled down his mattress from the bed and another from their guest room because somehow, that sounded more fun than staying in different rooms.

Kazu sighed as he rolled to his side and stared at the other two who seemed to sleep already, but he just couldn't. He was confused and worried and, yeah, mostly confused.

"J, Masaki, are you still awake?" he whispered hesitantly, his eyes on the glowing numbers of Jun's alarm. He was insecure if he even wanted to talk about what was on his mind, but if the other two were already asleep, he could act as if he at least tried.

"What are you sca—?" Aiba started, and Kazu already felt annoyed. He was not scared after all, but honestly worried. Aiba yelled suddenly, and Kazu buried his face in the cushion as he chuckled because Jun had hit the other to shut him up.

He could hear the younger boy move beside him and then peer down at him.

"What is up? You were thinking about something most of the day already," he asked, and Kazu was happy that Jun realised but didn't say anything. He breathed in deeply as Aiba also got more serious and stared at him.

"You know we help if we can, right?" Aiba said, and Kazu nodded in agreement. He knew that. They never teased if it was important.

"I think I'm not normal…"

Jun clicked his tongue while Aiba giggled. "As if anybody is normal," Aiba said, and Kazu grinned in agreement. His friends were the best example of that, after all.

Kazu took a deep breath though and then closed his eyes as he looked down at the cushion. This all was so very stupid.

"Why do you think you aren't normal?"

"I think I don't like girls as you do," he mumbled a bit nervous about their reaction. What if they hated him suddenly?

"Huh? Why?" Aiba asked in confusion and yelled again when Jun hit him.

"Stop hitting, Masaki," Kazu chuckled.

"He's stupid today," Jun argued, and Kazu giggled.

"I don't think the hits are helping though," Kazu said, and Aiba agreed with a pout.

"So how did you find out?" Aiba tried again, and Kazu sighed.

"The video, my eyes wandered more to him than her," he mumbled in the end, feeling to his shocks tears in his eyes. "I thought it's because his body is something I'm more used to, but you both looked more at the girl, right?"

"Uhn," they mumbled in agreement, and Kazu pressed his face against his cushion.

He flinched when an arm landed on his back before it moved around his shoulders and he looked to his side to be face to face with Aiba who smiled at him.

"But that's okay. Doesn't mean you are not normal, stupid," he said and ruffled his hair.

Kazu stared at him in silence huffing when Jun climbed onto his other side and put his arm around him as well.

"Masaki is right, Kazu. It doesn't mean anything but that you are more interested in guys than girls which is totally normal."

Nino hummed and nodded in understanding, as he closed his eyes. He felt a lot better now after telling the other two. He still was worried and unhappy about yet again a thing that was not as with the others, but it was easier to accept with his friends.

A/N: Sorry if this sucks >< I had a hard time with this.

Chapter Text

Kazu felt his cheeks heat up as his eyes crossed with a boy from the other class and stared back down at his book where he was supposed to answer the questions, but it somehow didn't want to get into his head today. He couldn't concentrate much on the lessons, and he was not sure if the strange feeling in his stomach was because of fear about the upcoming exams, an illness or… He shook his head and almost shrieked when a warm arm was thrown over his shoulder.

"Masaki!" he hissed, staring at the other boy who was grinning down on him. He frowned about to scold him further that he was disturbing the lesson when his senses caught up with the commotion in class.

He looked around, surprised to see that most were packing up since the lesson had ended.

"What are you daydreaming about?" Aiba asked, and Kazu frowned.

"Nothing. I'm trying to get this stuff into my dumb head," he grumbled, growling when Jun flicked his nose.

"Stop belittling yourself," he snorted, and Kazu shrugged uncomfortably. He didn't understand why everybody around him (at least everybody that mattered) would always scold him when he said anything like that but were allowed to say that themselves.

He deflated slightly when Aiba let go and helped him to pack his stuff. "So no daydreaming?"

"My head is a mess," Kazu mumbled with a small grimace. He had taken the last days to see if he was more into boys than girls, and it was messing with his head a lot. Now that he was really looking, he often felt slight hot shots through his body when there was a very charming smile or the eyes just seem right and some actors… It had ended with some very uncomfortable mornings, and he was deeply embarrassed when Satoshi got ready for work so early in the morning that he found him more than once in the bathroom cleaning stuff.

Not that Satoshi had ever said anything but Kazu could see the slight amusement in his eyes and maybe something else that Kazu could not yet decipher. Perhaps he would understand if he asked, but just the thought of telling his brother about his dreams was awkward. It was embarrassing enough that Aiba and Jun knew where his eyes strayed to more than might be healthy (then again… Aiba always blabbered on and on about girls he liked or how hot a certain actress looked, so he thought he was still safe).

"Let's go get hamburger and milkshakes? After school clubs are cancelled for today," Aiba declared, and Kazu blinked.

"Huh?" he said, surprised.

"Sounds great," Jun agreed and pulled Kazu to his feet.

"What?" Kazu repeated as he stumbled along at the sudden pull.

"Or do you have to go home right away?"

"Nobody's home," Kazu mumbled as he wrinkled his nose and snatched his bag from Aiba to check on it. "Mama's still at work, and papa is on a business trip to Kyoto." He has no idea about Satoshi, but he supposed that the other was out with his friends, like most of the time after work.

"Good then," Aiba decided, and Kazu frowned but then shrugged and decided just to follow them. They were right. After all, there were no clubs, it was time for a late lunch, and his mother didn't expect him home until this evening. His heartbeat a bit faster at the memory that he would be alone for the weekend with the woman, and even if he loved spending time alone with his mother, he was a bit nervous now.

He hadn't told his parents anything yet. Still, he was not sure he could hide his thought process from her over a whole weekend together (and there was no good excuse not to. It was their ritual to spend at least one full day together watching bad movies and eating snacks when they were alone. And Kazu loved those very special days.)

Kazu also knew that his fears of telling his parents and their disappointment at another thing he was not expected would probably spiral if not taken care of. Kazu was not looking forward to nightmares of not being loved, of having to leave the family that was his now, and of monsters that just hurt him.

One of these days, he would maybe be brave enough to ask for a picture of his birth parents or something similar, but as it was right now, he still wanted to forget that the person was not Keiko.

He shook those thoughts off his mind and looked up when they stopped finally. He furrowed his brows and stared at the other two. "I thought you said we were getting burgers. Why are we at the arcade?"

"There is a fast food place inside," Jun snorted. "So you will get burgers and a milkshake."

"With extra fries," Nino said with a grin, and Jun lifted his eyebrow. "And of course you'll pay, right? I mean, you dragged me off without asking if I even had money on me."

Jun tweaked his nose but had to chuckle at the puppy look Nino shot them. "Brat," He grumbled but then shrugged it off. Kazu got his allowance but spent it fast on magazines or games, which he then shared with him and Aiba, so it was almost custom for them to pay for Kazu's food.

"And there is a new game booth I wanted to try. It's multi-player," Aiba said and wriggled his eyebrow. "You said you could stay out for a while."

Kazu whined as he was pulled along inside but then stopped as he observed all the game booths inside. Maybe a game or two wouldn't be too bad, he thought. At least a lot better than to sit over his books and try to get everything inside his brain when his mind was so busy with different stuff. A grin appeared on his face as Jun told them to sit down on one of the left tables that were empty and leant against the chair.

"You're looking forward to games," Aiba teased, and Kazu stuck out his tongue. "It's good. You were tense."

Kazu shrugged with a sigh. "A lot on my mind, I suppose," he agreed then, his finger tracing the rim of the table. He found a small indentation which he played with with his fingernail as he wrinkled his nose.

"You just think too much," Aiba continued.

"And you think too little."

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Children, please," Jun suddenly got in-between them and put the tray with their food in the middle. "I leave you for a few minutes, and you are fighting?"

"Kazu says, I think too little."

"Because you are awful and say I overthink, which implies you think I'm stupid for doing so."

Jun snorted and shook his head. "You're both awful. Eat. I won't let my money go to vain because you moan that the food sucks because it's cold."

Kazu and Aiba both glared for a second at each other before huffing and starting to eat. Kazu's eyes fell on Jun, who rolled his eyes as he stuffed a fry into his mouth and had to giggle.

"What is it now?" Jun asked, sounding way too wary for his age.

"Just the image of you eating fast food," Nino giggled and shook his head. "Stop rolling your eyes, or they stay like that."

"Then stop being stupid, or you'll become like Masa."

"OI!" Aiba yelled, but he was laughing since he knew there was no real malice behind Jun's words.

"But honestly. You manage to look so out of place here. No wonder people call you king!"

"Don't they call him emperor?" Aiba asked curiously, and Kazu furrowed his brows as he looked at the other boys.

"Do they?"

"Yup, I heard the younger ones call him emperor in the basketball club."

"Oh! In the baseball club, they call him king," Nino giggled. "Because he has an aura, right?"

Aiba agreed with a small grin on his face, which only got wider when Jun groaned and asked for spiritual guidance under his breath.

Ah, friends were the best, Kazu thought, feeling much lighter now.

"Question," Jun said after they had finished their food and were still sipping on their milkshakes.

"What?" Kazu asked when he felt both pairs of eyes on him and pursed his lips.

"Did you ever consider asking a boy for a date? I know you look at the one from class D."

"Do not."

"You do. All dreamy-eyed, and you blush a lot when he's mentioned."

"Not true!" Kazu denied and hid his face, which he felt burning up under his hands. Did he? Oh God, that was embarrassing!

"So did you? Consider dating?"

"No," Kazu said in a small voice and grimaced. "I wouldn't know if he felt similar, and it's embarrassing to ask for such a thing."

"You did with Erika!"

Kazu blushed a bit more as he shook his head. They did end up dating, but it was mostly because of his friends' meddling nature and because Erika was pretty straightforward after she realised that he needed more of a push than just inviting him over for games.

"You're so hopeless," Jun laughed.

"But lucky for you, you have us!" Aiba declared, and Kazu paled very quickly.

"What?!"

But all he got as an answer was a wink from Aiba and Jun's command to finish his drink so that they could continue.

Chapter Text

“Are you sure you want to spend the day with your mother instead of going out with friends?” Keiko asked Kazu at the breakfast table. The boy was happily eating the traditional Japanese breakfast his mother had made for him, completed with little sausage octopuses because she knew that he found them always cute regardless of how old he was now. Typically breakfast was either bread or cornflakes since they were all too busy in the morning for his mother to prepare a full breakfast before school or work. It didn’t help that all of them preferred to sleep as long as possible and a slice of buttered toast was way easier and faster to eat than to have sit down.

Kazu blinked and then looked at Keiko at the words in surprise. “Yes? Why do you ask? Would you prefer I went out?” he asked, almost a bit panicky. He had looked forward to this weekend, even if Jun and Masaki both had asked for him to meet them at an arcade. He usually would prefer that to stay at home, but not for times like these!

“Of course not,” she said and rolled her eyes good-naturally. “I love having you around, Kazu.”

He felt his cheeks heat up slightly as he looked back at the rest of his breakfast to finish it. He hoped that his mother would still say things like that when she knew that he liked boys more than girls. He nibbled on his lower lip and sighed. His grandmother always said she couldn’t wait for them all to have children of their own, and he feared that his mother would think similar and then be disappointed. He frowned as he remembered that he was not their real son, so maybe it didn’t matter to start with. He groaned and drank the last of his soup. He knew that it was stupid. They all saw him as their own and not as some stranger who moved in with them. He didn’t understand why he was so insecure sometimes.

Okay, that was not true. He knew. There were many whispers at school with questions he asked himself and some very hurtful remarks that he tried his best to ignore. Masaki and Jun helped a lot with that, but that didn’t help if those questions stayed in his mind and echoed the things he was so insecure about.

Kazu always asked himself what made his birth mother and father give him away. Did they love him so little? Did he matter so little to them, or was he too bothersome? If so, what did he have to do to not be like that for Keiko and Mamoru? He really didn’t want to lose them ever. Those questions were tiring, and nobody could answer them to him, he knew. Maybe only his birth parents could, but Nino had no idea who they were and how to contact them to ask. He also didn’t know if he even wanted to contact them. He only knew that he did not want to hurt Keiko’s or Mamoru’s feelings with those thoughts. That would be unfair to them.

“Kazunari, is everything alright?”

“Yes, sorry, my mind just goes to strange places,” he mumbled and sighed when she met his eyes with worried ones. She st down beside him, letting the dishes be as they were for now and took his hands in her own.

She slowly caressed them and smiled at the calluses on the tips of his fingers—a mix from taking up the guitar a few months ago and years of playing games. “You’ve grown so much. It’s sometimes hard to remember the little lost boy we took in to love with all our hearts.”

He blushed and looked down as well for the first time, realising that his mother’s hands had wrinkles now. But they were still as warm and strong and protective as he was used to. “I’m sorry. I can’t seem to stop thinking about the why,” he mumbled with a wrinkled nose.

“She had her problems, Kazu. I’m sure it was not because she didn’t love you, but because she didn’t know or wasn’t able to care for you as you deserved. I’m sure she hoped that you would be adopted and be with someone who could do that better,” she explained. And again, there was something in her voice that made Kazu wonder if that was all. But he was too scared to ask. He hated being scared, but… he didn’t know how to change that. It was hard to ignore that.

“I know you told me, but…”

“But the thoughts won’t go away that easily, and it is hard to talk about it with your friends or us, huh?”

“They always say how lucky I am. And I know I am, but… I don’t know. And I feel like it hurts you to talk about it, and I don’t want to hurt you, and I don’t want to talk about it, but I also want or need to, I don’t really know,” he mumbled with a sigh, and she squeezed his hands.

“I feared it would happen when we tell you. I wished we could have kept it from you, but…”

“People talk, and I’m glad you didn’t lie to me longer,” he said. Keiko looked hurt for just a second, and he bit his lower lip hard. He knew they didn’t lie to him, but it still hurt that they kept it for so many years. That feeling had not gone away in the last two years, and he didn’t know why. “Sorry…”

“No, I can understand your feelings, but I can’t help my feelings,” she said with a sigh. She wished she could mean that Kazu could tell her anything without fearing to hurt her, but that was impossible. It hurt to see her little boy so sad. She hugged him and patted his hair. “Kazu, your father and I… we talked that maybe it would h help if you talk to someone else?”

Kazu moved back a bit and furrowed his brows. “What do you mean?”

“If you feel like it’s all too much and you need to talk to someone, we need you to come to us, okay? And we’ll find a solution. There are counsellors. I don’t talk about therapy or anything you don’t want, but someone who works with other people and listen to them and find solutions can help, you know? It might be easier.”

Nino nibbled on his lower lip as he thought it over. He could understand that, but he feared that people would make fun of him or think he was crazy, which he was not! It was just hard to stop thinking about those things. He was not as optimistic as Satoshi or Mina, even if he tried. “I don’t want people to think I’m stranger than they think I am,” he said in the end with a sigh. It was so hard, sometimes.

“I can understand that, as well. But everybody is different from each other. But I know that being a teenager is hard,” she agreed. “We won’t tell anybody, ne? We can say it’s a lesson or something like that if you decide you want to do that. But for now… How about we try to not talk about it and enjoy our weekend.”

Kazu smiled a bit shaky and buried his head against her shoulder for just a second before nodding. “I would like that.”

“Okay, then help me do the dishes or choose the movies we want to watch.”

“Can we buy snacks?”

“Sure,” she laughed and winked at him. “Then help with the dishes, and we go to the conbini to get everything. You can also decide if you want to buy bentos or order in tonight because I am not going to cook.”

He giggled as he jumped to his feet. At least one thing was out of his mind for now, and Kazu knew that he would also manage to tell her about him being gay later in the evening. He felt his heartbeat harder as he realised how much truth was in those thoughts and breathed in deeply. It would be okay. She was not going to hate him, he thought to himself.

—

Kazu was huddled up under a blanket on the sofa. His mother was busy in the kitchen to prepare them some alcohol-free cocktails to make the evening even more special than it already was. The table in front of the sofa was laden with different kinds of snacks like chocolate bars, popcorn, crisps and cookies, but also a few raw vegetables and cut fruits so that everything they would want was just within reach.

Kazu knew that by the end of the night, he would have a stomach ache, especially since he had talked his mother into getting pizza from the nice place down the street for their dinner after they had stopped at a burger joint for lunch. He knew that he was getting spoilt, but he didn’t mind. It was no unusual behaviour. His parents did special things with his siblings, as well. For Satoshi, regular fishing trips with their father and his mother would go on day-long shopping trips with Mina. His things were just movies or game night, and his parents made sure to include them regularly.

“Did you decide on the first movie?” Keiko asked, and he nodded as he pulled out the first DVD cover. He had put the disk in already and was waiting.

“Is a Disney night, okay?” he asked curiously, and she hummed.

“Sounds great. I am curious how much of the movies I still remember and what didn’t happen in it.”

“Did you watch Disney movies?” Kazu asked curiously, and she laughed as she handed over the drink and started the first movie.

“Of course, when I was younger, they just came out. And then again when you were toddlers. But I haven’t for years, same with you, right?”

“Uhn, Masaki and Jun don’t like them that much. We watch more action movies or Ghibli.”

“Oh, let’s watch old Ghibli movies on the next family night,” Keiko said, and he nodded with a smile. That sounded nice. They usually played one board game and watched one movie during which Satoshi often fell to sleep.

Kazu sipped at his fruity drink that was just wonderful and took a smaller bowl to fill it with crisps, popcorn and chocolate balls to munch on while the movie played. Keiko ordered the pizza soon after their first movie, and when they stopped the film when their order came, Nino felt the nervousness come back.

Somehow he thought that just maybe a bit of alcohol would have helped to make him braver. At least in many movies, it seems to go like that, but his parents were very strict in that regard, so there was no way he would be able to get away with it.

“You’re twitchy,” Keiko said as she munched on a slice and frowned. “Did they put too much spice?”

Kazu shook his head and sighed. “It’s delicious,” he said with a smile and drank another sip of his water.

She nodded with a smile and wiped away a bit of sauce from his cheek before restarting the movie. Kazu stared at it without really watching it and finished his pizza soon after. He sighed when the end credits rolled in and moved to face his mother.

“Mama?” He said, his voice insecure, and he didn’t know how to continue for a second.

“What is going on in your head, sweetheart? I promise you it won’t be as bad as you are imagining.”

“You can’t know that,” he whispered, his voice breaking with nervousness. Maybe it had not been good to eat so much junk food, he thought as Keiko opened her arms for him if he wanted a hug, which he, of course, wanted. It always was easier if his mother hugged him.

“When you are like that, it’s always something to do with us. And as long as you don’t murder someone, we’ll be able to work it out,” she whispered, and he couldn’t help but giggle tearfully.

“I didn’t kill anybody, and I won’t,” he mumbled and then sighed. He peeked up at her, and she caressed his hair lovingly.

He closed his eyes for a few seconds to steel himself and then hid his face from her. He didn’t want to see her eyes right now, and he was thankful that she just let him. He knew that most would have told him to look up.

“I realised that I don’t really like girls, at least not that I want to date them or anything. I like boys, and there is one in the other class that I really really like, and I am sorry.”

He sniffled when she pressed her lips against the crown of his head and rocked him from side to side, just as she had done when he was a little kid.

“My sweet boy. There is no need to be sorry. I always wanted all of you to love whoever you want. I am happy if you are happy. You liking boys doesn’t change that, okay?”

“I wanted to be normal,” he cried, and she hugged him a bit tighter.

“Kazunari, you are normal. You are my sweet, perfect boy, and nothing is going to change that. It would be best if you stopped beating yourself up for not being the way you are. You only end up hurting yourself,” she said and cupped his cheeks as she caught his tears. It broke her heart to see him so desperate.

He nodded, and she hugged him again. She hoped he would allow himself to be the way he was and heal a bit. Otherwise, she was not sure that Kazunari was able to find his happiness.

“Do you want to tell the rest of the family?”

“Satoshi, Mina and papa,” he whispered. “But I’m scared.”

“There is no need to, but I know that the feeling won’t just go away. I’m there for you if you decide to tell them, okay?”

“You won’t? Not even papa?”

“Your secrets are safe with me, I promise.”

He wiped his eyes and nodded with a relieved smile on his face. That was good to know, he thought.

Keiko ruffled his hair and then pulled up the blanket more around him since Kazu was shivering slightly and his hands were so cold in her own because of all the stress.

They stayed like that for a moment longer until Kazu was ready to start a new film.

A/N: I have the feeling that I only can write lousy stuff right now.

Chapter Text

"Wear this," Jun said and threw a shirt into Kazu's direction. Kazu blinked as he caught it and stared at the dark black shirt with a print on the front and then down at his soft mustard one with his favourite game's character.

"Why? What's wrong with the one I'm wearing?"

"Besides the whole in its sleeve?" Jun asked as he wrinkled his nose and Kazu shrugged. That was not a problem for him, he loved the shirt, and they were going to the arcade. There was no need for him to be fashionable.

"It's fine."

"I don't want to be seen with you like that," Jun said with a huff. "Change into that, and then we can go. I even pay the first coins for you."

"You can buy me lunch," Kazu snorted as he rolled his eyes and changed out of his shirt and into the new one. "There is a special for fifty coins for five hundred yen. I can pay for that. Lunch is more," he decided, and Jun rolled his eyes as he eyed him again, making Kazu lift his eyebrow.

"What? Still not up to your standards? Know what? I don't care. I won't change into anything else. It's this or back to the first shirt!"

"Oh God no!" Jun grumbled and sighed. "This should do," he agreed then a bit begrudgingly, and Kazu sighed in relief as they finally left his room and he called out to his mother that he would be out at the arcade for the rest of the afternoon and that he probably would be late for dinner. Tomorrow was the start of the weekend, and there was no need for him to be on time anyway. He knew he had to be home at ten pm at the latest, but he was sure they would manage that.

"Have fun, sweetheart," his mother called back, and he grinned brightly. He was just too happy that his mother had accepted him the way he was so quick and stuck out his tongue to Jun when the other rolled his eyes, even if Kazu was sure that there was a twinkle of amusement in his eyes.

"You're late!" Aiba complained as they finally arrived at the arcade, and Kazu pointed at Jun.

"His fault. He wasn't happy with what I am wearing. Just because I am gay doesn't mean I suddenly care for clothes," he huffed.

Jun glared at him for a second but didn't give him an answer. "Let's go in," he said as he turned around and marched in as the first of them.

Aiba and Kazu exchanged a look before they giggled and followed him. "We shouldn't make the king angry," Aiba grinned.

"King? More likely, a princess with all the huffing and mighty looks," Kazu mumbled but then chuckled when Jun turned sharply to shoot them a glare. The other two giggled slightly and finally followed Jun inside.

—

Kazu grumbled slightly as he suddenly was on his own since Jun had vanished because his girlfriend has called him over and Aiba had gone to the toilets. So he was sitting on a bench, swinging his legs as he waited for his friends to come back. His eyes were wandering over the gaming machines, trying to decide which one he wanted to play next. He would just force Jun and Aiba to play that one since they left him, he decided with a pout and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"Are you alone today?" a voice suddenly asked, and Kazu felt his cheeks heat up slightly as he recognised the voice almost instantly.

He blinked and looked up, trying hard to fight his blush as he suddenly face to face with a handsome and smiling face of Kaito.

Kazu looked to the side a bit nervously, seeing if his friends' attention were back on him, as he slowly shrugged his head but then nodded. Finally, he grimaced when the other giggled.

"Ah, so your friends are busy? Shall I go?"

"No!" Kazu almost shouted, blushing hard now and hiding his face as he groaned and tried again. "If you want? Are you alone? I'm sure Jun-kun and Masa won't mind. I don't know where they've gone through."

He frowned as he realised that Aiba was gone for a while now. Much longer than he would generally be for a toilet break. He squinted slightly as he looked around once more and finally saw Jun and Aiba a bit further away and behind Kaito. Jun was winking while Aiba held out a thumbs up, and he almost groaned as he realised the others must have set them up. Stupid meddling friends.

Kaito chuckled as he saw the realisation dawning on Kazu and rubbed the back of his head. "Caught up, huh? Do you want to go for a drink?"

Kazu cleared his throat, and with another glare into the direction of his friends, he nodded, deciding that at least he could take advantage of it. If Kaito was here, it meant that he was not hating him or find it disgusting that he had a crush on the other boy. A shy smile appeared on his face, and he nodded. "I would like a milkshake," he said then, and the older boy grinned as he held out his hand. Kazu stared at it for a few seconds, still unsure what to do but then reached out to take it.

Kaito pulled him to his feet and still didn't let go as he led him finally to the fast-food aisle in the middle of the arcade to get them two milkshakes. Kazu couldn't help but feel a bit giddy when he stared at their hands and at how comfortable it felt to hold onto the older boy.

It was almost as nice as holding Satoshi's hand, he thought happily and a lot more comfortable than holding Erika's hand. He was sure today would not be too bad.

"Thank you," Kazu said as Kaito handed him the banana milkshake he had ordered for him and took a sip, smiling in bliss. Those only tasted good here, after all!

"You like it?"

"It's the best," Kazu said with a grin, blushing slightly as Kaito curiously took his hand in his own to tilt the cup and took a sip himself.

"True, I think I still prefer vanilla, though," he said.

Kazu grinned cheekily and then giggled. "Vanilla is boring," he said and bit his lips when the other laughed.

"Maybe. You're cute, you know?"

Kazu blushed and shook his head. "Am not…" he denied a bit weakly. He was, after all, used to that sentiment even if he would like to be handsome or cool more sometimes.

"I know for a fact you top the list of the cutest boys in school," Kaito disagreed, and his eyes fell open.

"There is such a list?!"

Kaito laughed as he shook his head. "No, I'm sorry, but your shocked face is adorable. I was happy when your friends implied you would like me. You do, right?"

Kazu nodded slowly. It was hard to deny it after all, even if he was a bit mortified for Jun and Aiba being so open about it when he still had such a hard time coming to term with it. "And you?" he asked, his voice almost lost, and he took another sip fast to hide his embarrassment.

"You're cute. I wouldn't have come if I thought otherwise."

Kazu furrowed his brows since it was not really the clear answer he had hoped for, but he supposed it was not a bad answer for now.

"So this is a date?" he still needed to clarify, and Kaito shrugged.

"If you want it to be. We could also just hang out."

Kazu wrinkled his nose at the thought of just hanging out with the other boy, and Kaito smirked. "A date it is then," Kaito said, and Kazu nodded in agreement, if still very embarrassed. Somehow thinking of having a date with Kaito was a lot different from having a date with Erika.

He rubbed his suddenly very tingly stomach and adverted his eyes from the smiling face of Kaito to calm down and finish his drink. It was just a date, he told himself. Nothing big. They would play some games, and that was it, after all. Nothing different than he would do with Erika!

A/N: Short, but I hope it is okay. I will try to get back on track with writing.

Chapter Text

Kazu looked to his side, where Kaito was close to him. They had played a few games, all kinds that looked interesting. Some even that Kazu usually didn't play like DDR.

But it had been fun to compete with Kaito and the way his shirt had risen because he was moving so much and the sweat on his face that he wiped with the hem of his shit. Kazu could not deny that his eyes strayed to the abs he spotted. Kaito's body was so different from his own that it was surprising to him. Mainly because of the heat rising in his cheeks whenever there was a sliver of naked skin that he didn't expect.

"Kazu, Kazu still there?"

"What?" Kazu asked and looked up with big surprised eyes. Kaito laughed, and that made something wriggle in the pit of his stomach that had Kazu stop breathing for a second.

"You looked like you were miles away. Do you need a break from the games?"

Kazu stared at the shooter game they were playing right now. Kaito had pressed up against his back as they were shooting down the enemies, and Kazu felt a bit lightheaded because of the warmth on his back and the scent of the other.

Kazu was not sure if he liked the scent or not, but for sure, it made it hard to concentrate for him, and his throat was slightly dry. "Maybe a drink," he agreed after a second.

"Sounds good," Kaito said and put his thumb against his cheek. Kazu blushed as Kaito let him go and for a second buried his head in his hands, trying to calm down, but it was totally in vain when Kaito said how cute he was.

He looked up again, wondering if he should tell him that Kaito looked cute, but he didn't. Kaito looked good and cool, but he was way too shy even to try to compliment Kaito in any way. He was scared that the other wouldn't like it. He groaned when Kaito chuckled and glanced at him.

"Sorry, I'm childish," he said, but Kaito shook his head and cupped his cheek again.

"You're not. Just shy, and it's cute."

Kazu grimaced just slightly because he was unsure if that was a good thing or not, but at least Kaito seemed to like it, so he supposed it was not bad.

"Aww, I totally embarrassed you, huh? Let me treat you to drinks. Are you hungry again?"

"No, I'm good," Kazu grinned, not being able to say no to being treated. He followed Kaito and very hesitantly took his hand in his own. A small smile on his face as he realised that instead of pulling his hand away, Kaito squeezed it back.

Kazu was surprised but happy when Kaito handed him another of his favourite banana milkshake. Instead of sitting down across from him as he had done for their lunch, Kaito was now sitting right beside him. Their sides were pressed against each other, and Nino could feel the warmth against his naked arms. He liked that a lot, he realised even if he was a bit awkward and nervous about being so close to another person. He usually was only close to his family or best friends, so this was something else.

"Which games do you normally play?" Kaito asked, and he furrowed his brows in thought.

"I like puzzle games," he said in the end. "But I mostly play all kind of games. I think I just like the motions of gaming? But no sports, normally."

"Oh, so DDR is not your strong suit?"

Kazu shook his head with a slight grin. "Nope. Nobody ever managed to drag me to play it before."

"Yay, I consider myself special then," Kaito teased, and for a second, Kazu lost his voice, but then he nodded.

"Fully right," he said then, adverting his embarrassed face behind his drink.

"So can I drag you to another thing that I really really want to do?" Kaito asked, and Kazu perked up at the question. He thought about it for a second but then decided to agree. There was nothing awful around here after all, and Kaito was nice! No need to distrust everybody, he thought with an eye roll.

—

"You do realise that this is not even borderline but outright stalking, right?" Yuriko scoffed, and Satoshi rolled his eyes as he looked at her.

"I didn't force you to stay," he said with a huff, and she pinched his cheek.

"No, but I think it will do you some good to be around someone who still uses their brain. I fear that I need to stop you before you go over and kill that boy."

Ohno glared at her, but he knew that she was somehow right. He had been surprised to see Kazu in the arcade today since his brother had planned to stay at home today. He was even more surprised not to see Masaki and Jun around but a stranger that was way too close to Kazu for him. He loved to see the shy blushes on Kazu's face, and it was hard for him not to look at the boys, but he hated the cute giggles and looks Kazu gifted that boy with. He was totally not worth Kazu's attention!

"He's all over him. Disgusting," Satoshi grumbled, and she rolled her eyes as she elbowed him.

"They're cute."

"He's making Kazu uncomfortable! How dare he?"

"Kazu is just shy. It's adorable. He discovers his sexuality, huh?" she said, completely ignoring Satoshi's grumbling while holding a tight hold of his arm, as Satoshi made to stand up, to do whatever. Yuriko had no idea, but she was pretty sure it wouldn't end up pretty.

"Let me go. I want to warn him as to keep his hands away!"

"Satoshi, you'll make Kazu hate you," she scolded him with a frown. "Let him discover things on his own."

"I don't want to!"

"Childish."

"Ah! Where are they going now?!" Satoshi asked, almost up from his seat again as Kazu's and Kaito's faces were close to each other. Kaito whispered something to Kazu's ear, which made his little brother again blush so adorably and then agree to whatever Kaito offered. Soon after, they stood and walked off, still hand in hand and Satoshi really really wanted to get in between them and snatch Kazu's hand for his own.

"Did you know he dates boys now?"

"No," Satoshi said sullenly. That was another point that made his annoyance even stronger. Kazu had not told him that he wanted to date boys. He thought he was into girls, after all. God, this was horrible. If he had just known that Kazu was gay…

"What then?" Yuriko asked, and he blushed as he realised that he had at least said the rest out loud.

He looked back at his brother and then deflated. "Nothing," he mumbled. He would have done nothing. He would love to advance further with Kazu, make him see that he wanted him and loved him, but at the same time, Satoshi knew that he would not have done that. His mother would have killed him, and it would have been entirely right.

He groaned and put his hand against his face. "I can't continue to watch this."

"Then don't," Yuriko said with a click of the tongue, but Satoshi was already up, following them slowly to the photo machine that was on one side of the hall. That was their thing! Not something to do with strangers, he thought with a pout.

"I have to go home soon," Kazu said as Kaito pointed at the pictures they should take. "I like that one," Kazu said, pointing at one where the background looked like the world of his favourite game.

"Then we can do that as well. I can bring you home?" Kaito offered, and Kazu shrugged.

"It's fine," he mumbled, chuckling when Kaito pulled him inside. "It's not far."

"Wouldn't that make me a bad date?" Kaito asked, and Satoshi flinched when Yuriko hissed beside him. He had not realised that he was squeezing her hand.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

"God, you are hopeless," Yuriko said. "You're better thankful for this."

Satoshi looked confused for a second as she rolled her eyes and pulled him along, stumbling with him into the photo stall with a giggle, as she tugged Satoshi close and made it seem as if they were all lovey-dovey on their date.

"Oh Gosh, sorry. I thought it was empty," she said when there was a sound from the other two boys.

Kazu was blushing very severely, with Kaito hovering way too close for Satoshi's comfort right now.

"Sato-nii!" Kazu gasped, bringing distance between Kaito and him but still holding his hand in his own.

His heart was thumbing fast, and he knew he was fervently red. This was awkward! He would never have thought that his brother would disturb his first date and now even kiss with Kaito. He also was not so sure if he was happy, angry or sad that the kiss had been cut short. All he knew was that his heart was beating fast, and he wanted to run.

"Oh, Kazu, what are you doing here?" Yuriko asked, and he shrugged uncomfortably, glancing at Kaito, who looked slightly annoyed. His heart sank somewhat, and he shuffled around nervously.

He licked his lips as to answer when Kaito cleared his throat. "Just an outing with a friend, right?"

Kazu stared at the floor as he nodded, feeling disappointed. "Yeah…"

Satoshi lifted an eyebrow but decided not to prod. He could see that Kazu felt awkward, and he felt awful for all his reactions today. He never would want to make Kazu sad.

"And I need to go, or I'm late and ma… Mum wouldn't like it," he mumbled, wondering why the thought of saying mama like normal felt wrong in front of Kaito. He bopped his head in front of Kaito, not sure what to say or to do now.

Kaito nodded, and for a second, Kazu felt better when he squeezed his hand warmly. It felt as if he was not mad at him, which felt good.

"Wait, I'll accompany you. I should go home anyways. I have an early start," Satoshi said, frowning when Kazu shook his head.

"You're on a date," Kazu said, and Satoshi shrugged.

"We were just going to take some pictures and then split for the night, right?"

Yuriko rolled her eyes but nodded. "Right. And since we just bombed your photos, it would be unfair if we took some," she said to which Satoshi grinned as he nodded.

"Yeah, sorry about that. You can retake them?"

Kazu's mind went back to the kiss and shook his head fast. He would not be able to redo that with Satoshi waiting outside!

"See you at school on Monday," Kaito said, and Kazu nodded with a small smile.

"Yes," he whispered, sighing when Satoshi put his arm around his shoulder after saying goodbye to Yuriko to take him home.

"That was strange," Kaito said, and Yuriko sighed, thinking about how little Kaito knew and hoping that Satoshi would be able to either keep it together or confront his brother.

Chapter Text

Satoshi watched his brother who walked a bit awkwardly beside him. Kazu was staring at his fingers and his cheeks and ears were still a fire red. It would be cute, well it was cute, just the reason for the embarrassment was a bit hurtful for Satoshi and he was mad at himself for it. He hadn’t known that Kazu would like boys and somehow it unsettled him more than should be possible.

Kazu had looked so happy with Kaito and Satoshi didn’t like that. He didn’t want Kazu to be happy and in love with anybody else and he was so mad at himself because of it. He should be better.

“You and that boy?” he asked in the end because he couldn’t stand the silence anymore and maybe it would help to think of something else than Kazu being in love with someone that was not him.

Kazu jumped and Satoshi couldn’t help the fond smile at that. He loved Kazu and always wanted to protect him. He just wished that it could be him.

Kazu glanced at Satoshi for a second the red intensifying again as he nodded shyly. “Kaito-kun, he is in the class above me and he is really cool and nice. I like when he smiles and he smiles a lot. People like him I know him from baseball. I… Uhm the others could tell I like him and I told them that I like guys I didn’t know they would arrange for us to meet. I was with them and then they disappeared and Kaito-kun invited me for lunch and we did a few games. He is sooo good at shooter games, he can aim so much better than me and then we played even DDR and I didn’t fall on my nose but he was still a bit better, but I almost caught up it was so fun, and he bought me two milkshakes! And he remembered that I like banana best without me having to tell him for the second one. I have no idea where Jun and Masaki went. I hope they are not mad, but they made strange signs to me so I’m sure it’s all their fault and I really liked today, it was so fun. He told me I’m cute! And that he likes me. Can you believe someone likes me Sato-nii? We were about to end the date though. Because I know I have to be at home on time and he had no problem with it or said it was childish, just as you always say. He is a lot like you! He always said I’m cute and not childish and that it’s okay and it was soo fun. The purikuras were the last we wanted to take and then we wanted to go home. Ah! I didn’t take any with me. I hope at least the first ones were nice. Do you think Kaito-kun would give them to me on Monday? Do you think he wanted to really really kiss me? He said we can just act as if we would kiss! Because it was such a nice background and he got really really close! But then you got in. Mhm, a kiss belongs to a date right? Always though? I didn’t kiss Erika but once, and I didn’t like it. What if I don’t like kisses from anybody? Maybe it is good that we didn’t kiss. I’m sure that I would have sucked at it and then he would laugh at me!”

Kazu stopped talking and gasped for breath as he looked at him with big eyes. Satoshi felt pain inside of him at the thought of Kazu kissing someone else. To be honest, all of this talk just hurt. He hated how excited the other was about his date and he bit his lips as he looked at Kazu who was still staring back now nibbling on his lower lip with worry.

Satoshi cleared his throat a bit awkwardly. “I’m sure you wouldn’t suck, and no you don’t need to kiss at any date. I think it’s good that you didn’t!”

“Why? Do you think I’m a child? I’m not!”

Satoshi shook his head. He knew Kazu was not a child anymore. Sometimes he wished Kazu was Then the feelings and thoughts inside of him wouldn’t be there. He was sure that if Kazu still had the body of a child he wouldn’t mind. But Kazu looked good, the daily practises of baseball formed his body and he had grown a lot. Right now he was the same height as Satoshi and it was hard to look away.

Without realising what he was doing he stepped forward in two fast steps and cupped Kazu’s face in his hands before Kazu could run away. He closed his lips against the ones of his younger brother, his tongue slipping into the shocked mouth for a taste of the sweetness that was Kazu before he realised what he was doing because Kazu was struggling slightly in his arms.

His eyes were wide when he stumbled back, staring at the younger who was still shell shocked, his fingers touching his lips. “Sorry, I…” Satoshi fell silent as he could not explain why he did that. It was just ugly jealousy and he had promised himself and sworn to his mother that he would not do that to Kazu! He was the worst. He wanted to run, but also make sure that Kazu was safe and sound at home, but he was sure that Kazu would not want him to bring him home now.

Kazu was still staring at him for a second longer, not saying anything, before tears jumped to his eyes and he turned around to run away. Satoshi wanted to call him back and comfort him but he knew it was his fault so he helplessly trailed after Kazu, the need of making sure that Kazu reached their home safely bigger than the need of vanishing. He felt horrible and when he could see that Nino reached the front door he turned around and left again. There was no way he would be welcomed home tonight and he needed to bring space between him and Kazu, fearful about what he would do if not.

AN: A very short one sorry XD but the end is somehow fitting and any addition to the chapter seems wrong in my mind at least. Please don’t kill me (And sorry for the wall of text but Kazu is gushing and babbling and somehow I think it gives more of that sensation to the reader than putting it in smaller paragraphs)

Chapter Text

Satoshi didn’t know where he was supposed to go. His plans for tonight were to either spend it with his girlfriend or go home and spend it with his family. He supposed that both were not possible now. Yuriko wouldn’t be too happy with how he reacted and it was fully in her right.

He sighed and decided to book a hotel room for the night and then think about what to do. He would have to face his mother sooner rather than later because he feared how Kazu would take everything. He just hoped Kazu wouldn’t start hating him right now.

His phone rang and he checked it. He grimaced when Yuriko’s name appeared on the screen and he sighed as he answered the call. Better to man up than to ignore a phone call from his girlfriend, he thought unhappily.

“We need to talk,” Yuriko said and for a second Satoshi forgot how to breathe, but Yuriko’s voice was calm, telling him that even if she was mad at him, she wouldn’t start yelling at him, and really, what more could he wish for?

“Yes,” he said and put a hand through his hair, pulling slightly at the strands. “I was about to check in to a hotel…”

“Good, text me the name and I’ll come there. Better meet on neutral ground.”

“Yes… I’m sorry, Yuriko.”

“I will listen to your apologies later.”

The call ended and Satoshi sighed as he looked around to find the first cheap hotel he could afford and that did not look like a love hotel to ask for a room and mention that his girlfriend would also be coming in a bit. He got a strange look but didn’t care as he took the room card. In the lift, he wrote where Yuriko would find him and then let himself fall to the bed as he waited.

—

“I’m home!” Kazu yelled as he entered his home and tried hard to fight the confusion inside of him. He wanted to sound normal and not worry his mother but it was very hard.

“Did you have a fun day with your friends?”

“Uhm… Huh?” he asked but then he nodded. He had totally forgotten that the plan for today was an outing with Masaki and Jun and not a date with Kaito. “Ah yes, we played a lot. I’m tired.”

“Did you have dinner?”

“Uhn,” Kazu nodded and smiled at the memory of their shared meal, but then frowned when Kaito changed to Satoshi in his mind. “I’ll go to bed. Good night!” he said and then almost fled to his room. He closed the door and groaned as he fell to the bed, pushing his face into the cushions, as he tried to calm down.

He whined softly as tears sprang to his eyes. It was so unfair! Why did Satoshi destroy his fun date? Why did his mind wander to the kiss from Satoshi more than the one he shared with Kaito? He pressed his face further in the cushions as he tried to block everything out. He was in love with Kaito! Kaito had been nice to him and Satoshi had just made fun of him because he was so excited. That was all, yes.

—

Satoshi turned to the side when the door to the hotel room opened and sighed when he saw Yuriko’s impassive face.

“Hey,” he said and stood to offer her a seat. She smiled for a second but then sat with a small sigh.

“Hi. I can already tell that you messed up.”

“Big time.”

“I told you to leave them alone. Honestly, Satoshi! I thought you were at least as far over him that you could stand to see him grow up and date.”

“I thought so as well,” Satoshi grumbled. “I didn’t plan on being all jealous and then to top it off I dragged him home without giving him the chance to say goodbye and…”

“And what?”

“He was so happy and adorable as he gushed about the date, it didn’t help.”

“What did you do?”

“I kissed him,” Satoshi said after a moment that they just stared at each other with a small glare on their faces. It was hard for him to tell that bit but he needed to face the truth and tell her the truth.

“Excuse me?”

“I kissed him, with tongue and all. He ran away…”

She groaned and put her face in her hands. Her shoulders shook as Satoshi watched her, feeling horrible for doing that. Yes, they both were not fully in love and yes, they both had agreed to be honest to each other and separate if there was someone else, but it didn’t change that he liked Yuriko. And Yuriko liked him. Satoshi had always thought that he could love Yuriko, she was wonderful and it hurt to see her hurt so much. It seemed that today was the one evening that he hurt everybody that he loved.

Satoshi was sure that his mother, even if she would understand somehow, would be angry and disappointed in Satoshi. She had always told him to not pressure Kazu in any way.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, I did know you were in love with Kazunari. Maybe a fool to think…”

“No…” Satoshi said helplessly and took a step forward but then stopped, insecure if his touch would be welcomed right now. “I honestly thought I could always love you, if…”

“If not for him. I understand. I thought, that maybe…”

Satoshi fell silent and stared at her helplessly. “Did you love me?”

Yuriko looked up and even if her eyes were red, there were no tears, not anymore at least and she looked a bit helpless and exhausted. “I thought I could,” she said in the end. “And I loved the time we spend together, but that is over now.”

Satoshi bit his lips. He wanted to tell her that they could continue, but he was not that kind of an asshole. He was one, but not that. “No, I shouldn’t have kissed him while with you,” he agreed. “And now it is hard to lie to myself and it would be even more unfair to you.”

“I agree,” she said and then with a small smile: “How was the kiss?”

“I regret that I don’t regret it,” Satoshi said with a grimace, which deepened when she laughed softly.

“You are completely lost,” she said and he frowned if that was not the truth.

“I’m sorry I hurt you, though. I honestly am.”

“I know. And I won’t lie and tell you that I am all okay right now. But I know I will. Poor Kaito-kun though. He was cute.”

Satoshi almost growled and then swore as he hid his face in his hands. Oh God, what should he do? If Kazu loved Kaito he had to let him go because he wanted Kazu’s happiness, nothing more.

Yuriko stood and patted his head, before sighing. “I shall leave you alone with your brooding thoughts. I’ll call when I want to meet up.”

“Okay, take care and get home safely.”

She shrugged but then nodded. It was not a dangerous neighbourhood so she would be fine.

Satoshi watched her leave and then fell to the bed again to feel miserable for a bit longer.

—

“Mama? Is Sato-nii at home?”

“No, he didn’t come home yesterday. Why did something happen?”

Kazu pursed his lips but shook his head as he stared into his cereal and listlessly swirled the mix around. He was not hungry, but his mother wouldn’t let him leave without at least a few bites.

“I see, if there is something you need or want to talk about I’m here, right?”

“Uhn… Thank you, mama,” he mumbled and then blushed a little. “I had a date with an upperclassman! Sato-nii was there and brought me home to make sure I was on time. So I wondered if he left again.” His cheeks were red and he had a very hard time looking at his mother. What should he even tell her? That Satoshi made fun of him and kissed him? That would be stupid.

“I see. Did Satoshi behave strangely?” she asked. “Went all protective brother?”

He shook his head first but then he shrugged. He had no idea and it was embarrassing. In the end, he pushed his bowl away and stood, ignoring the frown on his mother’s face. “I’ll meet up with Masaki and Jun to play baseball,” he lied and wrinkled his nose. He hated lying to his mother. “I am already late, sorry I eat something there!”

“Okay, take care, sweetheart.”

“Uhn,” Kazu nodded and ran to his room to get his bag and then out of the door with no idea where he should run.

—

“I’m back,” Satoshi called as he slipped out of his shoes with a frown. He would have liked to stay away for longer, but he knew that he couldn’t afford the hotel for too long and that he should face everything earlier rather than later. Kazu, as disgusted as he probably was, would probably think it was all his fault if he stayed away and he didn’t want that.

“Satoshi?”

“Uhn. It’s me.”

“Welcome back.”

Satoshi slowly stepped into the living room where he watched his mother fold laundry for a second without knowing what to say.

“Will you tell me what happened, if I asked?” she asked and he flinched slightly.

“Kazu didn’t say…”

“He told me he had a date and that you were there. He avoided telling me too much but he didn’t look too happy.”

“I did something very stupid,” Satoshi whispered, shocked at how his breath hitched at the words and his mother put down the laundry to look at him with sympathy in her eyes. He tried to stop the tears but wasn’t able to as he sunk on the sofa beside her and allowed her to hug him for as long as he needed to calm down.

Chapter Text

“What should I do now mum?” Satoshi asked after he had calmed down and explained what happened between him and Kazu and what he had witnessed.

His head was spinning and he had a big headache but Satoshi didn’t care so much about himself. He deserved all the pain and punishment for having done what he did. He had promised himself to protect Kazu not to stalk him on a date and then kiss him without even asking for permission. It was so awful of him.

“You have to face Kazu and what happened,” she said and offered him a bottle of water. Satoshi sighed as he sat up and drank the water, hydrating himself after crying so much. “And you need to stop punishing yourself for whom you love.”

“But he is my brother.”

“He is,” Keiko agreed and Satoshi flinched slightly. It would have been nice if she lied but he knew that his mother would never deny Kazu being her son, it would hurt too much for everybody involved and for his mother it didn’t matter that she didn’t carry Kazu under her heart before he was born, he was just as much her child as Mina and Satoshi were. “But your heart decided otherwise. And you know I don’t want you to be hurt. I don’t want either of my children being hurt.”

Satoshi sighed and stared at his hands. He knew that she was right. “What if Kazu doesn’t want to see me ever again? I could understand that.”

“Kazu is stronger than you think he is. He might hide and muse about things that happened but in the end, he is always the first to face his fears. So in the end he will face you as well, I promise. The question is how you will deal with it.”

“I’m not as strong as Kazu then,” Satoshi said with a frown and she chuckled, not disagreeing.

“You’re a stubborn child that likes to ignore stuff,” she said and he wrinkled his nose. How was it so easy for his mother to look through any of them when he had a hard time understanding what was going on himself?

Keiko sighed and then ruffled his hair softly. “You should go take a pain killer and a shower. Catch some sleep or whatever, I want you to stay until Kazu comes home and then you two try to talk it out, okay?”

“Okay,” Satoshi said subdued. He would rather leave the house again to wander around until he was sure that Kazu was sleeping, but he knew that his mother would not allow him that and he understood why.

—

Kazu gasped for breath as he sat on the bench of the hitting cage he had ended up in. There were no plans for meeting either Jun or Aiba, not really at least, and he needed to tire himself out so that his mind stopped spinning and replaying what had happened the night before.

He was not sure what he should think now since he was close to a breaking point. He had been so happy yesterday, even if awkward and nervous around Kaito. And maybe he had compared him now and then with his brother because his brother was perfect! It was normal for sure. But he was confused why now the things that he did with Kaito he exchanged with a picture of Satoshi in his mind.

His fingers caressed his lips as he remembered the kiss from Satoshi. The lips against his were so warm and soft, he had liked it and he was a bit scared for thinking like that. Also, he had always thought that having another tongue inside of his mouth had to be gross, but it hadn’t been. It had been strange but not in a completely bad way.

Kazu closed his eyes and buried his head in his hands. What should he do now? He sighed and pulled out his phone. He silently scrolled through his phone, taking in the pictures he had taken with Kaito yesterday, smiling slightly at the memory. His fingers slipped through it further until he reached the pictures where he had been out with his family, or with just Satoshi. He always looked happy, he thought solemnly. And he was happy. He liked being with Satoshi and he had liked yesterday so much and he was sure that he would also have enjoyed it if it was with Satoshi.

He shook his head at the thought and decided to check his messages while drinking the water he had bought before he started the baseball machine.

>Thank you for yesterday! I had fun, I hope you arrived home well, and I hope we can meet again!<

>How was your date?! I hope you are not angry with us! But we know you need pushes! Wanna meet up?<

>You’re welcome for yesterday, let us meet up and talk about how it went. Pretty sure you are confused, right?<

Kazu grimaced and stuck out his tongue at the phone as he read Jun’s message. Could he read his mind or did he think he was a little kid who didn’t know how dating worked (not that that was very far off the mark, he thought unhappily).

He opened a group chat still grimacing slightly and wrote where he was and what he was doing to invite the other two over. They could talk while taking turns, he thought. Maybe they could go to a fast-food restaurant on their way home or something like that. He would enjoy lunch with the other two. Masaki and Jun always were easy to talk to and never judged them. He was sure that they wouldn’t react awfully if he told them about the kiss. Maybe a bit mad at Satoshi for kissing him so suddenly and maybe just as confused as to why, but they would listen to Kazu’s confusion and help.

—

“You look down,” Jun said as he arrived and Kazu looked up from where he tried to decide on a setting for the ball machine. He was not sure if he wanted it faster or slower honestly or even wanted to continue batting.

“Huh? Oh, Jun!”

Jun grinned and offered him a can of iced tea he had just bought. “You look like you need a drink.”

Kazu snorted, but of course, there was no way he would say no to a free drink and Jun always made sure to remember their current likes and dislikes so he knew it would be his favourite that he never bought because it was not worth the 200 yen extra to normal water.

“So yesterday was no fun?”

“It was,” Kazu disagreed with a pout. “It was a lot of fun.

“But you look upset.”

Kazu sighed and nibbled at his lower lip as his mind went back to the day before. “Kaito was really nice. He paid for my meals, we played a lot of games and laughed a lot. It was really really fun.”

“But…?”

Kazu frowned as he sighed and hung his head. “It is complicated…”

“What else is new with you. And I am pretty sure that it is not as complicated as you make it out.”

Kazu frowned as he was not so sure about that but then he shrugged and leant back. Maybe Jun was right, Jun was always clearer in his thoughts than Nino. At least if it came to stuff that had to do with feelings from other people. Nino knew that it could be completely different for Jun if it came to himself.

“Want to give it a shot until Masaki arrives? I don’t want to explain everything twice.”

Jun stared at him for a second longer, but then he agreed with a chuckle and decided that warming up was good afterwards they could do a small challenge and talk over food after they were all exhausted.

Aiba arrived soon after fully ready to hit a few balls and soon enough the three of them were laughing and shouting whenever one was better than the other two or missed a ball widely. It took them two more hours until they decided enough was enough and left the hitting centre to head to their favourite fast food restaurant close by.

They stayed silent until all had their meals and found an empty table outside in the sun to enjoy the food and their milkshakes.

Kazu was concentrating on his hamburger but knew that the eyes of the other two were on him. One excited and one with a frown waiting for him to explain what happened the day before.

He sighed and put the hamburger down, nibbling at some fries as he watched them for a moment longer. “The date was fun. Kaito is a nice guy.”

“That’s great,” Aiba said with a grin. “I knew you two would make a good pair.”

“Yeah,” Kazu said and shrugged, but then he wrinkled his nose and a deep frown on his face as he tried to find the right words. “But I am not so sure. I really like Kaito but Sato-nii was there, and he brought me home because it got late. And he was really strange and I felt really strange. I was so happy because of Kaito but… Sometimes yesterday I thought about what Sato-nii would do if I didn’t like something and they are similar! But when I told Sato-nii he didn’t look happy and I didn’t like him being unhappy. I don’t want him being mad at me! And I like being with Sato-nii, so it would be bad. But he was so strange and he was so unhappy, almost angry. I have never seen Sato-nii like that and then…”

“What then Kazu?”

Kazu blushed and hid his face in his hands. “I told him that Kaito wanted to kiss me, he murmured and I am not sure I wanted that yet or ever. And Sato-nii… He said he didn’t want anyone to kiss me and that was confusing and then he kissed me,” he whispered the last words almost inaudible as he felt his face growing hotter under his hands. “And I liked it… A lot.”

Chapter Text

Kazu didn’t dare to look at the other two at his little confession, feeling his whole body going hot and cold and hot again when he realised how real and honest the words had been. Until he had uttered them, Kazu had not realised how much he had enjoyed the kiss. Oh, God! He was a horrible person being and liking the kiss of his brother? Even if he knew pretty well, they were not brothers by blood, and he was sure that it was strange to everybody.

But… Satoshi had kissed him first! So at least Satoshi would not hate him - hopefully at least. He felt a bit dizzy with all the realisations running through his head. He even had all forgotten about Aiba and Jun, who stared at him with big surprised eyes until Aiba gasped loudly.

Kazu dared to look at his friends through his fingers and blushed at the wide eyes. It was hard to read their expressions, but there was no disgust in their faces, so he was sure that was something positive at least.

“How brave!”

“Brave?!” Jun hissed, and Kazu looked at him. Jun looked slightly angry, and it made him somewhat nervous. “It is not okay to just go kiss someone without asking for permission first!”

Kazu couldn’t help the giggle that punched out of him out of relief and love for his best friends who were offended in his name and not at him. He felt a bit hysterical as tears collected in his eyes, not sure why he pressed his hands against his face sniffling slightly.

Aiba murmured something Nino did not understand as he sat closer to Nino and hugged him around the shoulder to draw him in closer.

“I didn’t mean to make you cry,” Jun murmured ad Nino shook his head as he hid his face in Aiba’s shoulder.

“Not your fault,” he said and pressed his lips against each other.

“There there,” Aiba whispered, patting his back maybe a bit too harshly, but Kazu still felt the warmth spread inside of him, especially when Jun shuffled a little bit closer to his side as well, even if more hesitantly about touching Kazu. He always had a hard time with anybody crying.

It took a while for Kazu to calm down, and he accepted the handkerchief from Jun silently as the younger also got up to bring him some new water.

“So, what will you do now?” Jun asked, and Kazu shrugged.

He had no idea, to be honest. So what was there to do? “Kaito… He was really nice and….”

“And you promised him more?”

Kazu nodded but then shook his head. He was confused. Did he say something to Kaito? He didn’t know anymore, but he was sure that Kaito would talk to him on Monday, and that was nerve-wracking. “It is awful to tell him I didn’t want to go with him,” he whispered. “The date was so nice.” Then he gasped. “And Sato-nii has a girlfriend. What if all was a joke?”

“Ohno-kun would never make fun of you,” Jun disagreed, and Aiba nodded his head fervently. They both knew that Satoshi loved Kazu a lot, with both sometimes wondering how much but never saying anything about it.

“But…”

“But I think you and he need to talk,” Jun said, and Aiba pouted.

“You can just go there and kiss him!” he said loudly.

Kazu’s face went a deep red shade at the loud declaration, not sure what to say, and the other two began to laugh at his antics, and somehow Kazu felt as if everything was going to be okay. He just hoped… He wouldn’t upset anybody, especially his family.

Jun side and poked his side softly. “Don’t worry too much. Worrying won’t help,” he whispered, and Kazu nodded. He knew the other was right even if it was hard for him to accept that he couldn’t help that his mind always went into overload a lot.

“Come on, let us bring you home to make sure you get there safely. Your parents will worry same with Ohno-kun.”

“Uhn,” Kazu said as he allowed Jun to tug him up and Aiba to throw an arm around his shoulder to lead him out of the fast-food shop and onto the street towards home. His heart beat faster, but he felt better with the other two close to him.

“And we also will be able to deal with Kaito-senpai when it comes to that.”

“Thank you,” he whispered.

—

Chapter Text

Kazu stood in front of his home for a moment longer as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. For a second, he wished he had agreed to Jun’s and Aiba’s offer to come with him to make sure he could face Satoshi properly. But he knew the talk they needed to have was one he needed to have on his own. He was still insecure and confused about the kiss and everything that it might mean or might not mean. The only thing clear was that he had liked it.

He had liked the kiss more than any other kiss so far, and that scared him. Kazu was unsure if it was right for him to feel that way, but he couldn’t change it. He also feared that Satoshi might have done it as a joke, but a voice deep inside (that sounded annoyingly like Jun) told him that it wasn’t. Satoshi had been troubled while he talked about his date and slightly agitated when Kazu had mentioned the almost kiss.

Also, Kazu always knew for sure that Satoshi would never voluntarily hurt him or make fun of him when it was serious. Satoshi had promised him that right from the beginning, and Kazu believed it with everything he had.

He sighed and shook his head. Standing here didn’t help, and it was getting late. He didn’t want to worry his mother more than he already had. A slight grimace appeared on his face at the thought of his parents. He wondered if they would understand, support or be disgusted by them. Whatever that “them” would be in the end. He had no idea. He would need to talk to Satoshi for understanding more.

He groaned and rubbed his face as he finally squared his shoulders and a stubborn frown appeared on his face as he finally opened the door. Worrying about it and thinking it over and over again wouldn’t solve anything, and he was honestly too tired to continue like that. He needed and wanted answers now. When he had them, he could go back to thinking and contemplate but right now, it didn’t help.

Kazu’s heart skipped a beat when he could hear Satoshi’s voice talking to their mother. He had no idea what they were talking about, but it was a surprise and relief that Satoshi was really home. He had feared that he was gone again, back to his girlfriend or something like that. He stopped for a second, setting down his bag and taking off his shoes, rubbing his chest where his heart seemed to want to jump out of at the thought of Yuriko. Maybe he still got it wrong? He hated the mess his head was right now.

Slowly he walked to the kitchen to peer inside. He had no idea why, but he wanted to stay hidden and sort out his head for a second longer, even if it would only work for a second longer.

Satoshi sat at the kitchen table, the back of their mother to him as she busied himself with something on the kitchen counter. Kazu bit his lips as not to smile as he saw how sullen Satoshi looked as he peeled his hated carrots, and he couldn’t help the memory how he and Satoshi would always change carrots and bell peppers from their plates whenever their parents were not looking. They had pointed to themselves to stay silent while giggling and being so sure to outsmart their parents. Kazu was convinced that their parents always had known what they did but just let them be.

It seemed like such a long memory that it almost hurt, and he wondered again how he could have liked Satoshi’s kiss like that. Was he even allowed when they grew up so closely as brothers? A slight pout formed on his lips at the train of thoughts, and he took another, slightly shuddering breath as he righted up and took the last steps into the kitchen. He was surprised by how steady his steps were and that he didn’t even falter, when with a start, Satoshi looked up, almost cutting his hand in his shock and how his mother smiled encouragingly. His eyes were zeroed on the slightly opened lips of the other, and he couldn’t help himself as he crossed his arms in front of his chest and stared at Satoshi accusingly.

“Why did you kiss me?” he asked, his voice surprisingly strong, even if slightly pouty, and Keiko chuckled as she cleared her throat. He looked at her a bit red on his cheeks now at the amusement dancing in her eyes. She cleaned her hands on a towel and came over to kiss his forehead.

“Welcome home, sweetheart. Did you have fun?”

Kazu was slightly overwhelmed at the usual greeting despite his words, and he had to clear his throat to find his voice again. “Uhn, I’m home. It was okay,” he said because everything else would feel wrong.

“Good, I’ll leave you two to talk. If you want dinner, there is soup on the stove that should still be warm.”

“Uhn…” Kazu said and stared at her as she left them be and closed the door behind her. “You told her,” he mumbled as he stared at Satoshi, who hadn’t said anything until now. He suddenly felt weak in his knees as he sat down and stared at Ohno, who looked surprisingly pale and not like the brother he knew. “Sato-nii?”

“I did,” Satoshi said, his voice barely above a whisper. “But she already knew such a thing would happen.”

“Why?” Kazu didn’t even know what he was asking here. Why the kiss? Why did Satoshi tell their mother? Why their mother already knew? His head swam with questions, and when Satoshi answered, he strangely felt as if he had already known and was utterly overwhelmed.

“Because she knew when I was around… I think sixteen or so… that I am in love with you. She confronted me when I was still in denial. I am sorry for yesterday, Kazu. I didn’t want to shock you, but I was so jealous….”

“Huh?”

“It was hard to watch your date, and then my head just shut down, and I kissed you because I wanted to be your first real kiss, and first everything and last everything and… I’m sorry for doing that without permission. I should have done better, but… I couldn’t.”

“You love me?” Kazu asked, his eyes wide. “It was no joke.”

Satoshi shook his head and looked very serious as he met his eyes. “Never would I joke like that.”

“But Yuriko…” He was so confused. What was going on? His head swam, and his heartbeat so fast. It felt like a bizarre dream.

“Yuriko knows. We had kind of an understanding,” Satoshi answered calmly, and Kazu slightly wanted to hit him for being so calm. It was so unfair. “I still was not fair to her to kiss you without breaking up first. We broke up now, though.

“I…”

“Kazu? Breathe.”

Kazu took a shuddering breath and buried his face in his hands for a second. His face was red, and his thoughts were running in circles. Satoshi loved him, Satoshi had been serious when he kissed him, and it all sounded like he would want to do it again.

“Would you want to do it again then? Like right now?” He was surprised by his question, but he realised that he would like that and curiously looked at Satoshi, halfway moving towards the other expectantly.

“There is no going back if I do,” Satoshi warned, and there was a little fear brewing inside of Kazu at the words, but he nodded slightly. He gasped when Satoshi’s soft lips were pressed against his. They were so warm and so much softer than they had been during their first kiss. The table between them was a bit annoying, but it helped Kazu to feel grounded as he pressed his hands against the cold surface, his eyes falling close as he concentrated on the first real kiss that he could actually enjoy.

Chapter Text

Kazu gasped when there was a knock at the door to their kitchen and stumbled back, knocking over the door and then falling to the floor. He hissed and looked up with wide eyes. His cheeks were burning, and he pressed his hands against them when Satoshi peered over the table with worry in his eyes.

“Kazu? Everything okay.”

Kazu nodded as he found it suddenly very hard to form words. He had forgotten about where they were and the circumstances they were in when Satoshi had kissed him. He also had no idea how much time had gone by since their mother left them.

Satoshi chuckled as he came over, and Kazu kicked his shin with a big pout on his face, a bit miffed that Satoshi was so collected compared to him.

“You’re going to be okay,” Satoshi said and offered a hand to help him up. Kazu watched him and only took it when he realised that there was a very slight blush hiding on Satoshi’s cheeks. So he was not alone, which somehow made him very relieved. It showed that Satoshi was as overwhelmed as he was. The older just always had been better at hiding his emotions and thoughts.

“Are you both okay?” the voice of their mother could be heard at the same time as the door opened, and she peeked inside. There was an amused smile on her face as she discovered Kazu on the floor, though.

“My sweet child, did your brother push you?”

Kazu blushed and shook his head as he finally was back to his feet and soon after sat on the offered chair from Satoshi. “No. Satoshi would never.”

Satoshi chuckled as their mother snorted because, after all, they had pushed each other off places more than once when they play fought.

“At least not to hurt me,” he allowed then, to which Satoshi nodded earnestly. He would never.

Keiko nodded and came over to cup Kazu’s face in her hands as she saw how he started to nibble on his lower lip and wriggle around nervously. He blinked and looked up at her with big, even if a bit scared, eyes.

“What is wrong, my sweet child? Tell me, and I promise it’ll be not as bad as you think it is.”

Satoshi stiffened slightly since he had not realised that Kazu’s demeanour changed, and for a second, he was somewhat jealous of their mother to realise such things so fast. But then, he reminded himself, he had kept his distance of Kazu as not to hurt him, and he swore to himself that he would get better in that aspect with time. Then, he would be able to understand Nino the best out of everybody, he swore to himself.

“Mama,” Kazu whispered, his breath hitched as he gripped his trousers tightly.

“Yes?”

“Are you really okay with it?”

“With what?”

Kazu frowned since he knew that their mother knew. So Satoshi had told him after all. He hesitated for a while longer but then understood that his mother wanted to hear it from him, and even if it was hard, he wanted to try his best at least.

“If Satoshi and I are together as you and papa?” he said then after a bit of thought as to how to say it correctly.

Keiko chuckled as she rubbed the warm skin under her thumbs and nodded. “Even if there are a few things I don’t want to know too closely, I am okay with you both being in a relationship.”

Kazu wrinkled his nose at the words since there were very clearly things he didn’t want to know about his parents as well! That brought a small chuckle from his mother, who sat down beside him and took his hands in her own now. Kazu looked down at their hands, a small smile, when he realised that Keiko’s hands were still as warm and soft as he remembered from his very first memories of being here.

“You don’t find it strange?”

“No, I knew you were enthralled with each other since you came, of course, I would be lying if I said I knew right from the beginning, and I might have prayed later that I was wrong…”, at his scared eyes, she smiled and squeezed his fingers, “…not because it is wrong, my sweet child, but because I want you both, and of course Mina, to be always the happiest people on earth. And I know it’ll be hard for you. Even if I can promise you I will always support you, same with your father and sister, I can’t promise that everybody will be understanding. There might be heartache. There might be problems and hate that will confront you in future. Not only because you are brothers in the eyes of many but also for the fact that you are both males.”

“I will protect Kazu!” Satoshi said, and she smiled.

“I know, sweetheart, but it will be hard on you both. I can’t tell you what to do, but I would advise you to tell your father and sister soon so that you won’t have to hide here. But also, to keep it a secret from the outside world.”

“But…” Satoshi mumbled, not happy about having to keep it a secret, but Kazu was already nodding. He could understand his mother. He also could tell that Keiko just wanted to protect them.

“Uhn,” he mumbled and looked at Satoshi, who pouted. But Satoshi was his big brother. He didn’t want to lose that, and the thought of people saying awful things hurt and scared him.

Satoshi sighed as he realised he was outnumbered and patted Kazu’s head as he nodded. “If that is your wish,” he mumbled. “But I still want dates.”

Kazu blushed at the thought of an actual date with Satoshi, and Keiko chuckled at the adorableness that was her sons. Her heart hurt with all the thoughts about the things they might face, but how could she not be happy for them at the same time when there was a light in their eyes that had been missing for way too long.

She tapped Kazu’s nose and then stood. “Sure you can. You just have to think of places that are not your usual spots,” she said and ruffled Kazu’s hair. “And now, you should either eat dinner or go wash your face and get ready for bed. I might allow you to hide away for a day more before facing the school, but that doesn’t mean you can treat today as a weekend.”

“Not fair!” Kazu moaned but jumped forward to hug his mother tightly around the neck since he knew that the one extra day before, he had to talk to Kaito, which meant he could think of a way together with Jun and Aiba. Because he knew tonight, he could only write them that he and Satoshi decided to try it before it was bedtime for them all, and he didn’t want to bring his friends into trouble.

Chapter Text

Satoshi watched Kazu who was sitting on their sofa with a frown. His brother had been unwell for most of the week. “How are you feeling?”

Kazu shrugged as he looked up and held out his arms. Satoshi chuckled as he sat down beside him and took him into his arms.

“Why does it hurt so much? It doesn’t make sense. I promise that my feelings are real for you, and my head is just a mess. Why did I have to cry so much?”

“Because you are such a great kid,” Satoshi said and hugged him tighter. As happy as Kazu was and Ohno knew that Kazu had not lied to him about that it had hurt the boy to tell Kaito that he was not into him and that he was sorry but it was not love and that he had liked their outing. Kazu had still have felt sorry and sad when he had seen how much it had hurt the other boy.

“I feel like I have been terrible. And I dragged Masaki and Jun into it as well,” he mumbled. After all his best friends had made sure that the date even happened. He rubbed his nose and sniffed slightly he had cried enough about this all. It was silly but he couldn’t help it.

Satoshi sighed and wiped the tears off his cheeks. He was sure that the other two were not feeling bad that they had talked to Kaito. Of course, they had threatened him not to hurt their best friend, which had been cute and funny, even if it was super funny to see Masaki threatening anybody. Jun had been slightly scary even. More than anything Satoshi was very glad that Kazu had such good and protective friends.

“You were not terrible. Sometimes living the life you wants means that you hurt other people that doesn’t make you a bad person, though.”

Kazu looked at him and pouted slightly, clearly not happy with the words, but also realising that they were true. Satoshi chuckled softly since it was a facial expression Satoshi grew up seeing very often when Kazu had been younger.

Satoshi ruffled his hair and tipped the tip on his nose. “But I think a week is enough of self-pity, Kazu. I am free this weekend and I asked already mum she allowed me to take you out for a small trip to Disneyland,” he teased, chuckling when Kazu gasped and stared at him with wide eyes.

“Really?”

“Yup.” Satoshi knew that it was a place that they had been to twice with their parents so it was not super special or too far out, but it was far enough and prominent enough that the chances to meet neighbours or classmates there was pretty low, Kazu loved Disney and taking pictures with the mascots, and Satoshi loved seeing the other hopping around and smiling and laughing because he enjoyed his time there so much.

“I want to see everything!”

Satoshi snorted but then nodded. They would have the time. He planned with their parents so that he would pick up Kazu after school and they would stay for two nights so that they had one full day in the parks and not just a couple of hours because they had to go back on Sunday before six. After all, then it was another school day for the younger and Satoshi would do his best to keep up with the rules his parents set for the youngest of their family.

“Oh, so you better make a plan then. We have all Saturday, but I get to choose the places to eat,” Satoshi said and tickled the younger boy, grinning when Kazu shrieked as he touched the most ticklish spot. Yes, a laughing Kazu was the best Kazu all the time.

After a moment Kazu calmed down again and stared at him with big eyes before he moved forward carefully to press slightly moist lips against his cheek. “Thank you. I look forward to it.”

“Me too. Now, how about you go do your homework before mum and dad come home, and then you should pack clothes for a two-night stay,” he explained.

“Two nights?!” Kazu gasped and Satoshi nodded. “I’ll pick you up after school tomorrow and then we have all Saturday and on Sunday we have to get back. Travel time by train is a bit bothersome and if I take you out for a date I thought it would be best if we actually had time to spend together,” Satoshi explained, laughing when Kazu hugged him tightly around the neck before jumping to his feet and running up to his room.

Satoshi grinned as he leant back against the headrest chuckling when soon after a song of Kazu’s favourite band could be heard as he seemed to concentrate on either his homework or packing finally. He was looking forward to it and he feared that it might be slightly strange for both of them at first since their relationship was still very brother like. It was no surprise to him since it has not even been a full week and they had been close from the start, but he hoped the weekend would help a bit more.

Also, he hoped that the inner turmoil of Kazu would get better after the weekend full of fun and no reminders of the surprising heartbreak with Kaito. His eyes fell to the clock on the wall and with a sigh, he stood to prepare dinner. He had saved up money for the trip but his parents had chipped in for the more expensive but time-wise better train tickets because they had wanted to make sure that both of their sons got home safely, same with some extra money for the second night at the park hotel since the thought of them taking the latest train on Saturday had not fit their thought of safe travel for a minor which Satoshi understood and was thankful for, but that meant that he was roped into cooking dinner and helping out with house chores on the next day before he left to fetch Kazu.

—

“Have fun!” Aiba said with a wide grin squeezing Kazu tightly as Satoshi saw the three the next day in front of the school. He was trying to wink at Kazu which brought a chuckle to Ohno and Jun rolled his eyes.

“He probably needs an ear specialist now instead,” Jun said as he carefully helped Kazu to remove their overly excited friend from the boy. He then turned around and glared at Ohno. “And you! If you kiss him without permission again I will murder you,” he warned in a hiss, after making sure nobody close will hear them. “And I don’t care what Kazu says.”

“Hey!” Kazu growled. “I can look after myself!” he said with a big pout when Jun snorted and Satoshi ruffled the hair of the other. “Sato-nii, they are teasing me,” he whined loudly, stumbling slightly over his words and then grimacing after. For Kazu, it was hard to call him not Sato-nii but Satoshi had also seen that it was strange for him to call him that nickname at the same time.

“Poor baby. But I promise I will protect this boy from everything that might be harmful in the slightest and do nothing without his permission. Happy?”

Jun still looked slightly unhappy and Satoshi knew it was all his fault but then sighed and nodded. “Yes, it’s okay then.”

“I’ll bring you souvenirs. A crown? Or no! A tiara right?” Kazu said suddenly and then laughed when Jun growled and jumped at the other who was yelling now in a fake panic.

Satoshi rolled his eyes and checked his watch before sighing. “You two take care on your way home,” he reminded Aiba, before calling that they had to leave if they wanted to catch their train which at least brought Kazu back to his side and Jun to calm down again.

“Yup, we won’t talk to strangers,” Aiba said clearly not serious but Satoshi sighed.

“Better don’t,” he said, more serious than was necessary for sixteen years old but he couldn’t help it. He knew the boys since they were toddlers and as much as he knew they were slowly growing up they were still the kids that were always full of fantasy and supportive and maybe a tiny bit too naive for their good.

“Yes, yes, and don’t go with strangers even if they promise puppies,” Jun said and chuckled at Masaki’s disappointed frown. He waved at Kazu and Satoshi as he started to drag Masaki away with him since they had still an after school club to get to that Kazu was excused from for today.

“Ready to leave?” Satoshi asked offering his hand and even if Kazu was still slightly frowning after his best friends his whole face lightened up at the question and he took the offered hand without hesitation.

“Always with you.”

Chapter Text

“You okay?” Satoshi asked as they were settled on the train and Kazu sighed softly as he leaned against him.

“Mhm…”

“School was stressful?”

“A bit, I had to wake up early and Fridays seem to drag a lot, today even more since I was so excited about everything.”

“Aww, poor you. How about you try to take a nap?”

“I have homework,” Kazu said with a frown. He had thought about doing them on the train so that he would have finished them before they arrived.

“You can do them tonight in the hotel. It is not as if we have planned a lot for tonight, right? And if you sleep now you will be awake longer.”

Kazu wrinkled his nose at how much sense Satoshi made and grumbled something. He also knew that Satoshi’s plan was smarter than his since he usually felt sick on long train rides. Especially if he had to concentrate on other things.

“But the weekend is special,” he whispered faintly and Satoshi shrugged. That might be as it was but an hour for homework was nothing too bad.

“You can also do them on Sunday if you feel better then? We’ll be home around five if everything goes as planned.”

Kazu nodded slowly but worried that his mind would be too focused on the homework if he didn’t finish them early but as it was he decided that was for later to decide as he snuggled closer to Satoshi and closed his eyes with a little sigh.

Satoshi was warm and caressing his side in soft, regular strokes and the sounds of the train were very comfortable and slowly making him sleepy.

Satoshi chuckled when the small weight against his side got a bit heavier as Kazu fully fell against him and ruffled his hair with his fingertips as softly as he managed. He pressed his lips against his hair for just a second, before making sure to put his arms better around him so that Kazu wouldn’t fall even if the cart moved strangely.

He looked forward to their weekend and hoped that they could go a bit more forward in their relationship. It was very strange right now as both were not sure what was okay and whatnot. It was not as if Satoshi hoped for a lot. But a few more kisses and being more comfortable in each other arms would be nice, he supposed.

He sighed as he wrote to their parents that they had safely boarded the train and were on their way. He would keep them updated over the next two days since it was the first time Kazu would be far away from home without teachers or parents.

He then got more comfortable and looked out of the window, enjoying the scenery and imagining what they would do at Disney. One thing he knew for sure: Kazu would be super adorable seeing all his favourite mascots and having fun and if nothing else would happen there that would already be enough for Satoshi.

—

“Wakey, wakey, Kazu,” Satoshi said softly and rubbed the cheek of his sleeping companion. He chuckled when Kazu complained sleepily but was relentless until the boy woke up and looked at him with small eyes.

“What?” He asked grumpily, making Satoshi smile even more.

“Next stop is ours,” he explained and allowed Kazu to sit up and rub the sleep away from his eyes. Kazu stretched his body this way and that and with a small grimace settled down against Satoshi again.

“Sorry, I was a very boring travel partner,” he mumbled and Satoshi shrugged. He didn’t mind and even if he wouldn’t say it out loud he ad enjoyed watching Kazu sleep against him. It was something that happened ver scarcely. Even less since they had confessed. Kazu was a bit fidgety around him now and even if it was a bit hurtful, Satoshi understood that it was because Kazu needed the distance to make the change from brothers to lovers fully.

“It’s okay. Now you’re not half asleep when we go out for dinner and the evening,” Satoshi said.

Kazu pouted but then nodded, before moving forwards to press his dry lips against Satoshi’s cheek. “Thank you.”

“No, thank you,” Satoshi said and hugged him for a second more, until their stop was announced and he stood to pull out their bags, handing one over to Nino. “If you want we can go to the park for the rest of the afternoon.”

“I’d like to watch the evening show,” Kazu mumbled. “But you said something about a nice dinner?”

“I am pretty sure we can manage both,” Satoshi said and tipped his nose. “I meant dinner at a restaurant in the park. So no worries about the timing.”

“Okay, do you think we can meet Mickey?”

“Maybe,” Satoshi said with laughter in his voice as he looked at the sparkling eyes of the Kazu. Kazu stuck out his tongue as he realised how childish that had sounded and took Ohno’s hand in his down who fell silent for a second until he squeezed the slightly sweaty hand in his and led Kazu out of the train. They held hands until they arrived at the hotel and Satoshi reluctantly made Kazu let go so that he could fish out all the things they needed to check-in.

“Freshen up first and then go to the park?” he asked as he got the keys and their special tickets. Kazu thought about it for a second and then nodded.

“Yes, I am hungry,” he whined playfully. Lunch had been a while after all.

Satoshi grinned as he nodded and led the way. “You just want the fun Disney themed snacks,” he teased. “I asked if you wanted something back at the train station but you said no.”

“An onigiri from the station is boring!” Kazu said as he skipped along the long hallway, searching for their room number. “I want the Mickey pancakes. If you are nice you get an ear,” he offered as he came to a stop in front of their door. He moved back and forwards on his heels as he waited for Satoshi to open the door, his arms slightly around his waist, holding to each other as he was nervously waiting for what was on the other side. Somehow the thought of what awaited him made him nervous. Did their parents make Satoshi get a room with two beds? Would they share a bed? If so how big was it going to be?

Satoshi smiled and softly tugged at Kazu’s little finger as he realised how worked up the boy was, startling him a bit. Kazu huffed a bit offended and snatched the keycard from Satoshi to open the door and bravely walk in.

His mouth fell open as he saw the interior as it was beautiful. All golden and yellow wallpapers and bed covers and right above the beds were a picture of Mickey and Minnie at a picnic. For a moment Kazu was not sure if he should be thankful or disappointed for the two beds, but he realised soon that they were big enough to house two persons comfortably so he supposed it was just a way the rooms were composed.

“I thought you would like the yellow theme the hotel goes with,” Satoshi said with a smile. “It is your favourite after all and I feared that the fun Disney themed rooms were a bit tacky and probably more for families with children,” he explained and Kazu nodded. He remembered the big rooms with motives from Mina’s favourite Disney movie at the time. It was fun as a kid, but he was also pretty sure that their parents were glad when their stay was finally over.

“I like it a lot,” he said and put his bag on one of the beds.

“They didn’t have a free room with a double bed,” Satoshi said slightly mournfully and Kazu couldn’t help the surprised giggle that escaped him at those words.

“Well the beds are big enough and we are both small…” he said, not knowing fully how to finish the sentence.

“So we’ll decide tonight spontaneously,” Satoshi said after a moment and came over to cup Kazu’s face and press his lips against his forehead. “Okay?”

“Uhn,” Kazu said, closing his eyes for a second before wriggling around as his stomach growled. He blushed slightly and Satoshi chuckled as he kissed the pouty lips.

“Go change, I will make sure that everything is in order.”

Kazu nodded and pulled out another set of clothes that Satoshi had packed for him and vanished into the bathroom to wash his face and change out of his school uniform.

When he stepped out, he was faced with a smiling Satoshi who had a small backpack filled with water bottles on his back. “Ready to go, cutie?”

Kazu blushed but then nodded. “Yes!” he called out loudly, looking forward to it. This was going to be so much fun.

Chapter Text

“Sit down there and I’ll go get some food,” Satoshi said shortly after they entered the park. Kazu pouted since he wanted to go around first, but Satoshi knew that the younger boy was hungry since he was pretty sure that Kazu had not eaten much before.

“Okay, I want a milkshake.”

“Banana, I know, Kazu. And Hamburger?”

Kazu shrugged and nibbled on his lower lip as he thought about what he wanted. “I want a character food,” he said then, his face red in nervousness but Satoshi just chuckled.

“Of course. I’ll check what they have. Later we have to check the popcorn carriers, huh?”

“Yes, please,” Kazu said with a bright happy smile, glad that Satoshi went along with his wishes without teasing him. He loved Disney and even if he wanted to have a real date with the other it was hard to be all adult-like when he was in this paradise. He sighed and sat down at a small table. He put his shoulder bag to the side and moved his legs back and forth as he looked around and waited for Satoshi to come back.

Kazu grinned as he observed the very happy children running around with happy shrieks, holding the hands of their parents tightly as to not get lost or because the adults were too slow for the overly excited parents.

“Wanting to have a kid already?” SAtoshi’s voice pulled him out of his observation and Kazu grimaced.

“What? Never!” he shouted. “Kids are icky and ew.”

Satoshi looked at him in amusement, seeing how Kazu blushed and started to laugh. “Well, that was very clear.”

“Sorry,” Kazu mumbled, looking down in shame. “Are you seriously asking?”

“God, no. I am just making fun. You look cute when you are flustered. Sorry.”

Kazu stuck out his tongue and then looked curiously at their food. “What did you get me?” he asked, almost hopping up and down on his chair since there was nothing on the table yet.

Ohno winked and presented him with a tray filled with fries and an onigiri burger that was shaped like Mickey and with teriyaki beef as the filling. “Ohhh, that looks so cute,” he gushed.

“I hope it is yummy.”

“For sure. Because you got it. And this is Disney! Everything should taste super yummy,” he said with conviction and grabbed the milkshake to try it first. That was great already.

Ohno chuckled and sat down on the second chair, unpacking his meal which was the hamburger set with a Mickey-shaped dessert for the case that Kazu didn’t like his food. He knew that there was nothing that could be wrong with hamburger steak for him after all.

“Oh wait,” he said as Kazu reached out for his burger. Kazu frowned questioningly as he pulled back and tilted his head.

“I got something for you.”

“Huh?”

“Close your eyes for a second?”

Kazu nodded and did as he was told. His lips were pursed very cutely as Ohno rummaged in front of him and soon there was slight pressure to his head as Satoshi placed something on top of it and then quickly kissed the cutely pursed lips. How could he not?

Kazu gasped when the lips were gone and he opened his eyes curiously, just to pout when Ohno was already ready with a camera to take a picture.

“What did you do?” he asked.

“Adorable,” Ohno hummed as he typed on his phone and then showed him the picture he had taken and already set as a background. Kazu’s lips were slightly open on the pictures, his cheeks rosy from the excitement and surprise, and on top of his hair sat a headband with sparkly Mickey Mouse ears.

“That is embarrassing,” Kazu cried but Satoshi put the phone away before the boy could snatch it and delete the picture.

“No, it’s adorable. The ears fit you.”

For a second Kazu spluttered but then he groaned and quickly turned to start on his food to hide his face the best he could. Ohno chuckled silently as he put a fry in his mouth waiting until Kazu moaned in delight as he tried the burger deciding that he had chosen the right meal for him and started on his lunch fully as well.

—

After lunch, they walked to the first ride that they wanted to go to. It was a ride for families so it was not too fast or scary which was perfect for Kazu’s stomach. Satoshi liked fast rides now and then as well but he honestly didn’t need to go on them since they made Kazu so uncomfortable that he would throw up in the end.

Kazu glanced at Satoshi who walked beside him, looking around a bit with a lazy smile on his face. Satoshi wore sunglasses since the sun was bright and his hair was slightly styled, and he looked so handsome and grown that Kazu was very sure that he looked like a child beside him.

Kazu had always to fight to be taken seriously. He hated that he had a baby face and many people would think that he was younger than he actually was and he was sure that Satoshi looked very clearly as if he was taking out his little brother and that thought didn’t sit right with Kazu.

For a second he wished that Satoshi would have chosen nicer clothes to bring with him for today. It had sounded fun to let Satoshi choose Kazu’s clothes for their trip because he was sure that he wore things that Satoshi liked on him. And Satoshi had made sure to choose things that Kazu felt comfortable in, but the yellow shirt with a character on the front and shorts were not the most adult-like clothes Kazu had. He was sure a black and white combination and long jeans like Satoshi wore would have been better.

He pursed his lips at his thoughts and rolled his eyes as he glanced back at Satoshi. It all didn’t matter. Satoshi chose him! Satoshi liked him. Like like, not just as a little brother but more. The kiss and jealousy on that evening had been very clear once Kazu had been able to think it through with a clearer mind. So Satoshi liked him the way he was and they knew they were okay the way they were.

As long as nobody thought Satoshi was his father. That would just be plain weird. Satoshi was not that much older than him. Kazu looked around and then carefully moved a bit closer to Satoshi. He would stop feeling insecure, and he would stop hoping that Satoshi would help him to feel differently. Even if he was sure that he would never be able to do it all the time. Satoshi was still older than him after all and so much more secure in himself than Nino ever would be.

But he would change, he promised that to himself. He would be brave and self-confident and know what he wanted, and if he didn’t feel like it he could fake it somehow. They said fake it, ‘til you make it after all, right?

Kazu took a small but very deep breath as he was so close to Satoshi that they were almost brushing shoulders now and he was pretty sure that Satoshi already knew what he was doing but let him be. Kazu didn’t know if he should be offended or thankful for how Satoshi was, but he decided not to think more deeply about that.

He felt goosebumps running over his arms and back the second their fingertips finally brushed against each other and he was sure his face and ears were red, as he stared pointedly at the floor. He knew that Satoshi would make sure he was not running into people.

Ohno chuckled softly as Kazu stumbled slightly as their palms touched. Kazu was close to pulling his hand back again as Satoshi took it into his own, tightly holding his and pulling Kazu even closer if possible.

Kazu looked at their hands, feeling warmth spreading inside of him as Satoshi squeezed his hand a few times playfully and moved a bit to be able to kiss him on his jawline.

“Cute,” Satoshi said, clearly teasing, but somehow Kazu had a hard time feeling bad about it this time. Maybe being cute to Satoshi was enough. “My boyfriend is the cutest.”

“Stupid.”

Satoshi giggled as he blew a raspberry against his cheek, tickling Kazu in the process who laughed and fastened his steps as he saw the ride he had looked forward to getting there.

Chapter Text

“You can take a shower first. I’ll go after you, you look like you’ll fall to sleep standing there, and I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself,” Satoshi said as they entered their hotel room in the evening. Kazu had been yawning most of the evening after the evening parade had been over and Satoshi was sure that the younger boy would have fallen flat on his nose more than once if they didn’t hold hands on their trip to the hotel.

He felt slightly bad for having tired Kazu out so much, but he reminded himself that Kazu was just tired because his day had been very long. Kazu had not slept well during the night before because of the excitement, then the school, the long trip until they arrived here. Kazu had already been tired when they arrived here, dinner, the excitement of a few first rides and the evening parade had not helped. Then again, Satoshi was sure that tomorrow would have been even harder and Kazu really had wanted to see it and the fireworks at the end of course.

“Uhn,” Kau mumbled with a big yawn and Satoshi chuckled as he ruffled his hair.

“Try not to drown in the shower with how big your yawn is,” he teased him, smiling softly when Kazu stuck out his tongue and turned around on his heels to march to the bathroom, just to turn back when he remembered that he needed a pyjama to change.

Satoshi giggled at how cute his boyfriend was, but didn’t say anything out loud as the boy finally made his way to the bath and soon after he could hear the shower running. A small smile appeared on his face as he took more time to look for jogging bottoms and a t-shirt for the night. He stretched out his back, frowning at the small sound it made and then checked both beds, making them presentable for sleeping so that Kazu could choose where to sleep and if he wanted to share a bed. His heart made a small jump at the thought. It was not the first time he and Kazu shared a bed. They did it often when they had been younger, Kazu was tiny and it was always more comfortable to share a bed than to sleep on the extra bed hotels provided to fully furnished rooms.

But with how they had changed over the years and especially now with being boyfriends it was completely different to what they were used to.

Satoshi couldn’t hide fully that he was just as excited as the younger boy and also very nervous about what might happen over the next two days. He was very thankful to their parents that they allowed them so easy to be together and go on a date together. They honestly had the best family.

—

Kazu rubbed his face in the shower and tried hard not to yawn again but it was a lost cause. He was so tired. He groaned as he realised that there was no chance for them to chat some more and maybe watch a movie while snuggling. He pouted slightly and chose one of the shower gels that were provided by the hotel. The scent reminded him of melons and made him smile after a second before cleaning his body.

The shampoo smelled of apples and made him grin, as he felt much better suddenly, if still tired. He put out the shower and dried his body, staring at himself in the big mirror over the sink. He wondered if he should have asked Satoshi to join him for the shower, but just the thought made his face burn and he grimaced at the bright red cheeks he could see. He shook his head as he dried his hair, deciding that there was no way he would share a bathroom with Satoshi for quite a while. It was embarrassing and aside he was sure most couples wouldn’t do so as well. He hopped to the sink and brushed his teeth as his mind went through the things that had happened.

He had been brave and took Satoshi’s hand and Satoshi had held it back without problems, he reminded with a happy smile. Satoshi’s hand had been warm and soft in his own and not sweaty as he had feared. He was sure his hand had been sweaty because of the heat outside and his nervousness, but Satoshi had not looked disgusted in any way.

Satoshi had called him cute and adorable and it had seemed like he meant it. Not to tease him but because he thought so. Kazu was honestly not sure if he liked it since he wanted to be cool and handsome and all that. Cute, adorable and pretty were words you used for girls. But if Satoshi liked it couldn’t be too bad. Because in the end, Kazu only wanted to be liked by the older boy. Everybody else didn’t matter so much to him.

He blushed slightly at the memory of all the small kisses Satoshi had gifted him. He had liked it but it always made him slightly embarrassed. He was sure he was blushing each time they did and he was not sure if that was a good thing or not. But he couldn’t help it if his heart beat faster so suddenly and his breath got stuck in his throat. Satoshi just had that effect on him. And if Kazu was honest, he didn’t mind that much. He actually liked it a lot.

He put on his clothes finally and left the bathroom, to see Satoshi sitting on the big armchair in their room, reading through the park pamphlet. Kazu was sure that Satoshi would make sure that he could meet his favourite characters the other day and felt a wave of affection wander through him. Satoshi was always so nice to him, had been right from the beginning. For a second, he wondered if Satoshi had always loved him differently than Mina, but he could tell that it would only bring him a headache if he tried to dissect it. It didn’t matter anyway.

“Bath is free,” Kazu called after a few seconds, his voice breaking at the end when Satoshi looked up, a smile on his face as he looked him up and down. Satoshi got up and walked over to him to drop a kiss on his cheek.

“Thank you. You decide on which bed you want, okay?”

“Un,” Kazu nodded with a small blush on his face. It was his choice if he wanted to sleep together in one bed or two and it was nice to know that Satoshi wouldn’t even try to force him to choose either.

Satoshi softly tugged at one strand of Kazu’s hair and put it then behind his ear before kissing his forehead and Kazu liked it a lot. It felt warm and like comfort.

Satoshi sidestepped then to get into the bathroom and Kazu was left alone with furrowed brows as he observed the beds. Satoshi had pulled back the duvets on both so that Kazu would be able to slip in either without problems and as he heard the shower finally starting he remembered that he had been sad that he couldn’t snuggle with Satoshi in front of the TV. And he had promised himself to be brave! So he wanted to be the bravest he could imagine.

Still, his stomach was in knots at the thought of demanding Satoshi join him in one bed outwardly and he played with the hem of his shirt as he thought it through. His eyes fell on the second armchair where Satoshi had put their things to free both beds fully and then he smiled as he almost ran over, to be able to be done before Satoshi finished his shower, totally ignoring that Satoshi probably would take a bit longer just to make sure that Kazu had made a decision he was sure about. He piled the dirty clothes, their bags and the little gifts that Satoshi had given him on one bed, making sure to have it fanned out on the hole bed, for a second contemplating if he should add their shoes just for good measure but decided that this was silly and awful to do, also he could hear that the water was turned off and he was sure that Satoshi would come back soon.

He quickly climbed into the second bed, bundling one blanket on the side and pulling the other half over his head. He peeked to the bathroom, his breathe hitching when the door opened as he closed his eyes tightly.

Calm regular breathes, he reminded himself as he tried his best to fake being asleep, all rolled up on the side of the bed, almost in danger to fall out to have made sure that Satoshi had enough space to join him and hopefully take his invitation.

Satoshi chuckled softly under his breath as he observed the room, shaking his head at the mess that Kazu had made on the second bed. It was unnecessary but also somehow very adorable and fit his shy boyfriend a lot he decided.

Still…, he thought as he went over the second bed, where Nino was hiding and pretending to be deeply asleep. He could tell with the way Kazu held himself and how tightly his eyes were shut that he wasn’t really asleep but he decided not to call him out right away. It was hard to not touch the dark red ears to see how warm they were as he carefully tidied up the second blanket to make it possible to slip in the bed.

Satoshi was hovering over the younger boy, his eyes on him as he put his arm around Kazu’s waist, ignoring the small wince as he made sure that Kazu wouldn’t fall with a sudden movement. “Is this okay?” he asked when he was finally lying beside the younger boy, making sure to give Kazu one more time to get back on his words.

Kazu opened his eyes for a split second, looking at him, and blushing even worse when he realised that Satoshi was looking at him. He closed his eyes again as he shyly relaxed in his arms and sighed softly as he nodded. This was more than okay. He actually liked it much to his surprise and slight embarrassment. Satoshi was warm and so kind it would want to make him cry with how lucky he was.

Satoshi laughed softly, his fingers dancing on Kazu’s side as he tried to calm him down a little bit, as he could feel the nervous heartbeat almost with how close they were. Kazu was so precious to him and he was so happy that Kazu already allowed him t be so close after such a short time.

“Good night, Kazu,” he whispered, burying his nose in the sweet-smelling hair when Kazu yawned against his chest and just buried his head more into his shirt in answer. Satoshi shook his head, knowing fully well that the other was a huge cuddler and already more than halfway to sleep. He couldn’t stop the chuckle when he heard a tiny snore coming from Kazu and rolled his eyes for a second.

“Sweet dreams, love.”

Tomorrow would be a new day and he promised that he would make it just as memorable as today. Kazu was worth it and he wanted to make this first date unforgettable for them both. There were many firsts that they would still share and many that they had shared for years until now that made it harder to make special memories for them as a couple.

Chapter Text

Kazu felt so warm and comfortable when he woke up the next morning that he snuggled closer to the source of warmth with a content sigh. He heard a chuckle that he connected to belong to Satoshi and even if he was surprised that Satoshi was with him in bed, he still was not ready to let go of the warmth. Satoshi’s arms around his were warm, comfortable and so so protective. Kazu didn’t know how normal it felt. He closed his eyes just a little bit more and rubbed his nose against his chest with a slight hum.

Kazu remembered how he had put all things he had found on the second bed to have an excuse that Satoshi would join him in bed. He remembered how he had been way too shy to actually ask the other to sleep in one bed and how logical it felt like that. A small smile was on his lips at how easy Satoshi it had made for him. He had not laughed at him or teased him or at least not much. It was way less awkward than Kazu had thought at first, so used to sleep and wake up all alone. He would have thought it would be scary, awkward or stifling. But the opposite was true. He loved being so close to Satoshi and he was not sure if he wanted to go back to sleeping alone at home.

Satoshi played with the strands of his hair and dropped a kiss on top of his hair with another chuckle. “Good morning, Kazu,” he whispered.

Kazu pressed himself closer to him for a second longer, but then looked up, still feeling slightly sleepy but mostly just warm and so so good. “Good morning,” he said, feeling slightly shy under the eyes of Satoshi. He squeaked slightly as Satoshi dropped a kiss on his lips.

Satoshi caressed his side for a moment longer before slowly backing away with a soft sigh. “Cutie, as much as I would love to spend all day with you in bed, I think we should get up.”

“Cutie?” he asked in a high voice, his cheeks red in embarrassment.

“Yup, I can’t help myself but think about how cute you are. I love you, but you know that and I like cutie as a nickname. Don’t you?”

Kazu thought about it for a moment but then nodded. “I do kinda,” he admitted. It was slightly embarrassing to admit but he also would not be able to deny the truth.

“Cutie it is then. How about we get ready and have breakfast. If I remember correctly there is a grand day awaiting us.”

Kazu nodded, feeling his cheeks heat up when Satoshi kissed him again, leaving him breathless as he stood as if he understood that Kazu needed a moment longer to get his brain to work. Kazu rolled onto his back when Satoshi went into the bathroom, staring at the ceiling as he tried to get his bearings back. He had spent the night in Satoshi’s arms. And while it should have been awkward maybe or even reminded him of their past. But it did not. It was completely different, yes he had always felt safe with Satoshi but never this kind of warmth and love and whole.

And Satoshi had liked it as well! He had kissed him and held him and… Kazu was slightly red at the thought of some other parts of theirs that touched, leaving goosebumps all over his body as he thought about it. He quickly got up and chose clothes to wear for the day. Black shorts, a grey shirt with the logo of his favourite game and a green baseball cap to be safe from the sun. He carefully put the popcorn baskets they had gotten yesterday on the table and filled a shoulder bag with another bottle of water and cereal bars.

He fled to the bath when Satoshi came out to brush his teeth and do his morning toilet before he came out wearing his chosen clothes.

“Did you pack sunglasses?” Satoshi asked and Kazu nodded.

“Uhn,” he said and walked over. He looked at Satoshi, his eyes wandering back to his lips now and then, licking his lips without realising, as he thought of how nice it would be if Satoshi kissed him again.

Satoshi watched him with a small smirk on his lips which Kazu only knew because he had seen how the side of Satoshi’s lips had moved up. He pouted unconsciously at that and at the fact that Satoshi had yet to kiss him.

Satoshi chuckled and took Kazu’s hand in his own, he tickled the palm with the tips of his fingers, before moving forward to pull Kazu a bit closer. Kazu looked up with wide eyes and bit slightly at his lips, making him smile.

“How can I ever resist such a cutie?” Satoshi teased and Kazu felt himself getting warm again, but he made a happy, slightly embarrassing, sound at the back of his throat when Ohno kissed him again. He was startled just a bit as there was a bit of tooth and tongue on his closed lips and gasped when Satoshi let go again.

“Breakfast?”

“Uhn,” Kazu mumbled, almost stumbling behind Satoshi since he was still in kind of a trance after the kiss and only came back to reality halfway through the hallway when they stood in front of the elevator.

“Do you want to push the button?” Satoshi asked and Kazu stuck out his tongue, but still pressed the button. It was something he liked to do, still until today. When he was little it was special to be allowed to do so and some things were still like that.

Satoshi put his arm around Kazu’s waist, deciding that he had teased him enough as he led him to the breakfast lounge so that they could start their day for real. He would feel bad if they missed the first picture times for Kazu’s favourite characters or his favourites.

—

Satoshi watched Kazu who had demanded to be allowed to buy them refreshments this time as a thank you for their trip and smiled when the younger boy was still brimming with excitement. Satoshi had bought him a Mickey hat because he just loved the Mickey ears on his boyfriend and how cute he looked that way.

Satoshi had asked for a mango shake and he could tell that Kazu was still looking at the menu to decide on his drink and Satoshi was sure that the other would also bring a dessert for them to share. Until now whenever they had taken a break or had to stand in line for a while to get their pictures taken, one had brought some snacks from the close-by stalls. Satoshi thought that Disney really knew how to make their money.

At least they had proper breakfast and Satoshi already booked a table for them at the big restaurant for a dinner together with the characters. It was a fixed menu and Satoshi had taken a while to choose two meals that he was sure that together would make a full course dinner with things that Kazu liked. So he didn’t feel bad that they only ate sugar for most of the day.

Satoshi checked the pictures they had done so far and smiled at the silly selfies in front of statues and rides. His favourite picture by far was the selfie that Kazu had directed. Kazu had held the camera as high as he could, glancing at the viewfinder with a bright smile as the countdown started with concentration that Satoshi had not realised until at the last second was coming up and Kazu had kissed his cheek for the picture. Satoshi looked very surprised into the camera but it was beautiful in his mind since it was one of the few times Kazu stepped up and took the first step.

Satoshi had to say that each time when Kazu took his hand when they walked through the park his heart skipped a beat or two and when they had done the scary ride he had loved how Kazu clang to him and pressed close to his body whenever there was a surprise attack. Okay, he could have done without the screams into his ear, leaving him with a ringing for a few minutes after the ride was over.

Kazu came back putting a tray on the table in between them and sitting down on the chair across from Satoshi. Satoshi watched the happy grinning boy and couldn’t help but laugh. It was infectious.

“What are you doing?”

“Checking the pictures we took. Chocolate cake?”

“Yes, chocolate mousse cake. It has a caramel filling.”

“You are so high on sugar,” Satoshi teased, but before Kazu could pout he stretched his legs to catch one of Nino’s feet in between his, silencing his protests before it even started and watching Kazu blushing adorably again. “It looks yummy.”

“I thought so too,” Kazu answered in a murmur.

They ate their snack in silence and then enjoyed the rest of the day before Satoshi brought Kazu to the surprise dinner, almost feeling jealous at how much attention Kazu showed to the actors instead of him, but when Kazu pressed against his body, his hands on top of Satoshi’s hands that he had led around his waist it was all forgotten.

Kazu was silent as he watched the blinking lights of the electric parade and his lips were slightly open as after that the fireworks started. Satoshi honestly wouldn’t have been able to tell if they had been beautiful or not. All he could tell was that the lights playing across Kazu’s face and reflecting in his beautiful golden eyes were the most gorgeous thing he had ever seen.

Kazu leant heavily against Satoshi after it ended and Satoshi again made sure that Kazu was safe back at their hotel room. They took separate showers, and this night Kazu climbed into bed with Satoshi without another thought. Satoshi dropped a kiss on top of his head as he closed his arms around him and Kazu sighed happily.

“Good night,” he whispered, moving up a bit to kiss his lips and chin, before snuggling up to Satoshi’s chest and closing his eyes.

“Good night, sweet dreams, cutie,” Satoshi answered hugging him close and feeling slightly sad that their holiday and date would be over tomorrow. This felt really like a dream and he hoped that it had helped cement the change in their relationship.

Chapter Text

It was Monday morning and it was strange to be back at school, Kazu thought. He had slept a bit restless and woke up pretty early. He had been just too wired up still after the perfect date. Their parents had greeted them back with hugs and Kazu had been so excited, telling them about what they had done over the weekend while Satoshi had chuckled and hugged him when Kazu had run out of breath.

They had then shown a few pictures and soon enough Kazu had dozed off as the excitement had worn off and all that was left was the tiredness of two days filled with walking and staying up late. Satoshi had not yet been up to when Kazu woke up. Keiko had prepared him breakfast with eggs, miso soup, vegetables and rice since it was so early and Mamoru had asked for a bigger breakfast that day.

After the weekend filled with sweets, Kazu was reminded how much he loved his mother’s miso soup. He sighed as he played with a pen on his writing pad and scribbled stuff on it as he had his chin on his hand as he stared into nothing. There was a small smile playing on his lips as he remembered how warm Satoshi’s hand had been on his waist when he had pulled Kazu to the side so that he wouldn’t collide with an overly excited child, dragging their parent behind them.

“You look like a lovesick puppy.”

Kazu blinked and squealed as he moved back in surprise as he was face to face with Masaki and Jun. Both were way too close to his face and he wondered how he had missed that?

“What are you doing here?” he asked stupidly and Jun clicked his tongue.

“Going to school? Looks like the weekend went well?” Jun asked curiously and Nino nodded, feeling his cheeks going slightly warm.

“It was super fun. I love Disney,” he said, pulling out his phone to show them the pictures Satoshi had taken of him in front of the characters.

Masaki squealed though and pulled it out from his hands to check the screen saver. “How cute,” he said and Nino blushed as he remembered that Satoshi had put a picture of them both as the background. Satoshi had an arm around his back, both showing a peace sign with their free hand and Nino was wearing the Mickey ears that Satoshi had bought him on the first day.

Their parents had agreed that it was not too much and could be seen as a picture of them as brothers or boyfriends to whoever knew the truth.

Kazu snatched his phone back as the bell rang for the second time, to signal the start of the lesson soon, and Jun hit his head softly. “We want to know everything, later. Also about you two. Are you surer now?”

Kazu hid his face behind his hands as he remembered all the kisses they had shared and the cuddles on the bed. It just felt so right. He mutely nodded and felt his cheeks heating up even more when Jun and Masaki both high-fived in happiness.

—

“Can you come with me?” Kazu asked a few weeks later and looked at Jun with big hopeful eyes.

“Where to?” Masaki interrupted and Kazu stuck out his tongue. He was angry at Masaki for snatching the last of the cream buns at the cafeteria when he knew that Kazu wanted them.

“I’m not talking to you,” he grumbled.

“Where do you want to go and why?”

“Shopping. I need a good outfit,” he mumbled with slightly rosy cheeks. “And a present. Satoshi’s birthday is in two weeks!”

“And?”

“And?! He told me he will take me to an ice rink. A city over,” he explained. Satoshi had already asked for the day off and they would celebrate with their parents at breakfast and then head out. Kazu was looking forward to spending all day with Satoshi out of town, since it was so much easier to not look at other people, hoping that they behaved normally and not suspicious.

It was sometimes hard to not hug Satoshi or kiss him when Satoshi forced him to take a walk in the park or something like that. It was easier when they were at home, but Kazu could tell that Satoshi was not so happy with the hiding game they played.

“You have clothes though.”

Kazu grimaced and pouted. Satoshi knew all of his clothes he had, and none of them was super special date clothes!

“Also if you are on the ice rink I am sure you will be all bundled up in a winter coat. You are getting cold so easily.”

“We will have dinner at a restaurant,” Kazu hissed and glared at him. “Come on, I have no idea about what looks good. You actually like fashion.”

“I don’t think Satoshi-kun will mind either way, but okay, and only if Masaki comes with us.”

Kazu pouted but then nodded in agreement. If that meant that Jun would come with him and help him out then he could do it. He nibbled on his lower lip, trying to decide what to get for Satoshi’s birthday. He had not that much money since he had bought that stupid manga set without thinking about how the presents would mean more now. The clothes were easy since he would get an extra allowance from their parents for those but the present was different. And then there was also Christmas just in a few weeks. Maybe extra chores at home would help with that problem, he thought with a sigh.

At least Satoshi had been very appreciative of Kazu’s outfit of tight black, faded jeans with roughed up patches, a tight black shirt that was lowly cut to reveal his collar bones and a dress shirt on top. Kazu had felt a bit uncomfortable with the tight clothes but the way Satoshi had observed his figure was worth it somehow. And luckily Ohno had also liked the brush pen set that Kazu had found after much searching on sale. It was embarrassing but the most he had been able to afford at that time.

—

“Does your mother wear jewellery?” Jun asked in confusion as Kazu stood in front of a shop and stared at the pieces in the window. They were out for Christmas presents for their family and Masaki had vanished insides the shop to get a necklace for his girlfriend. He had said that she had mentioned it twice when they were out for a date and he was sure that she would like it.

Kazu was sure it would be the case with how heavily she hinted on wanting it but decided not to say anything since Masaki had looked so happy when he told them that he knew about the perfect present as if it was his idea right away.

“No, mama can’t wear jewellery during work, so she usually doesn’t have any. She has a necklace with a pendant that symbolises our family though. She wears it almost all the time when we are out.”

“So why are you checking them out. For Mina-chan?”

Kazu wrinkled his nose, as he had already bought a nice scarf for his sister. She lived a bit further away now and had told them on a visiting weekend that the place usually got colder during winter than they were used to. He liked the colour and knew that it would look super pretty on Mina.

“No, I got her a scarf. One of the big ones that you can even use as a blanket thing. It’s super soft!”

“Sounds nice, where did you get it? My mum would love that,” Jun asked and Kazu turned around to look at Jun now.

“I can take you to the shop after. And I was… Mhm… I am looking for something for Satoshi,” he said in the end and shuffled his feet.

“Didn’t you get him the canvas set?”

“That is for family presents!” Kazu explained with furrowed brows. He looked around, hiding his face slightly behind his hands as he stared at the floor. “But not boyfriend presents.”

“You are going to get two?!” Jun almost shouted, and Kazu glared at him.

“Shh!” he hissed. “It’s a surprise,” he explained, almost fearing that Satoshi was anywhere close, which was stupid. He should be at work now and the bakery was a few streets away still! But Satoshi also always appeared where he didn’t expect him to.

“Cute,” Jun chuckled. “But honestly you putting money into two presents…”

Kazu pouted and kicked his shin. “I am not that stingy.”

Jun snorted and hit his head slightly, making Kazu pout even more even if he couldn’t feel the hit because of his hat. “You are, makes it just cuter. Jewellery though? Satoshi-kun doesn’t seem like he would be into that.”

“He wears only things that have meaning,” Kazu explained with an embarrassed smile. Satoshi had worn his self made bracelet until it had fallen off, and always told him how much he had loved it. Kazu remembered that he had gifted it to him since their teacher in grade school had said to give it to the most important person, and since he still knew then that their mother couldn't wear it he had given it to Satoshi, as he had been the second most important person then.

But he wanted something more special for Christmas, something that looked nice and not some crooked band that he made and would break soon after, but something that would last. Because he wanted them to last.

Chapter Text

The 24th always was busy for Kazu. In the mornings he would be busy celebrating Masaki’s birthday and having fun with him. They often would go for a piece of cake and lunch after school or spend the morning together if it was a weekend. Masaki had told him that it was complicated to have his birthday on the same day as Christmas was. So Kazu and Jun had decided to make sure that at least half of the day was fully for Aiba. It was super fun and it always was great to see Aiba smile happily as he opened presents that were the most birthday-themed wrapped packages that both could find.

The late afternoon normally was spent with his family. They had a grand dinner and exchanged presents. It was fun, and Kazu liked getting presents. He always had (who didn’t after all?). The dinner was always especially good and Kazu liked seeing their grandparents on such special days. They wouldn’t come today, though. Instead, they would go over on the weekend. His father had the time to spend all the day then and Kazu was looking forward to very delicious food.

Also, their parents lived a bit further away, they didn’t know a lot of people around there because they normally stayed at the house. So he and Satoshi thought they might be able to take a long walk outside, holding hands and being just the two of them. Kazu wished for that a lot. It had been so nice on their date.

He rubbed his nose at the thought of kissing outside, taking a walk in the snow and warming his hands thanks to Satoshi and hid his face behind his fingers.

But that was for the weekend tonight he hoped that they would spend time alone after the family celebration. It was Friday and there was no need for Kazu to go to bed early to sleep. He felt giddy and grumbled before he forced himself to stand up. He had run right to his room, to make sure that he had packed all presents prettily and then laid on the bed for a moment. But he could hear his mother downstairs to not get crazy he decided to check if there was anything he could do to help.

“Hey Kazu, welcome home,” she greeted when he shuffled close to her and when he was close enough he leant against her and put his head against her shoulder. He never had realised how much he had grown until now. He snuggled up to his mother a lot when they were watching movies together and liked listening to her heartbeat, but seldom when he stood like today.

She chuckled and put her fingers through his hair in a way that he found very nice. He smiled up at her. “I’m home. I treated Masaki to cake,” he said happily.

“Good boy,” she said and continued to caress his hair for a second longer. “Want to help me prepare dinner? We are making ham with an orange sauce.”

“Will there be rice?”

She chuckled but nodded. Of course, there would be rice for her boys. Without it, it was not a real meal after all.

He grinned and looked up. “I can make that.”

“Lazy bum. Those vegetables want to be cut and washed.”

“Of course,” Kazu giggled and settled down at the kitchen table to do what his mother told him as she prepared soup and the meat for them. He liked the motions and comfortable silence they stayed in while Kazu was busy. It reminded him how proud he had been each time he was allowed to push the button of the rice cooker and considered it the most important task and that he had really helped.

Since back then he loved helping out and knew already a few of the secret family recipes, which he guarded with much love. Ever since he got to know that he was adopted it meant even more to him that he would be taught those recipes.

“Already excited about tonight.”

“Mhm…” Kazu said and looked up. “I hope I get that game I wished for.” Or at least the funds to get it himself, Kazu thought with a smile. He was sure that there would also be a few new sweatshirts but normally he would get one or two new games as well. “Mi-nee-chan will come tonight as well, right?”

“Of course, and stay until next week.”

He nodded and ate a piece of carrot that he was cutting. Satoshi would come home soon as well, and then shortly before dinner, his father would also arrive so that they could have a nice meal, and then was gaming night and present exchange. He was so excited. He thought of the extra box up on his desk and wondered if he should give it to Satoshi at the family exchange or later when they were hopefully alone.

“Mama?”

“What is it?”

“Do you and papa exchange extra presents?”

“Mh?” she asked and turned around to watch her son. Kazu was slightly blushing and looking at the potatoes he was cutting up now. She chuckled and sat down beside him.

“Sometimes we do,” she explained. “We did it more when we were younger and before we had children.”

“Why?”

“Because events like Christmas changed in their meanings for us. It is now more to see your happy and wide eyes, spending time together as the five of us for as long as you are still at home. When you all move out it will become a time where we look forward to having the whole family together. When we started dating they were of course all big milestones for our relationship. The first Christmas Eve as a couple is magical.”

“Mhm…” He said and played with his knife. “I bought two presents. Is that silly?”

“Do you feel like it is silly?”

Kazu thought about it but then shook his head. It had felt good to think of a present for his brother, because it was just too strange not to get anything, and it had been so very exciting to get a present for his boyfriend.

“Then it is not silly, Kazu. Finish that and then you can start the rice cooker.”

Kazu giggled but nodded as he cut up the rest of the vegetables. After he was finished he vanished as his smother reminded him to take that shower before the others came home and changed into a festive outfit as was common for their family.

—

Kazu was still on a high about having won their Bingo tournament which meant he got to choose the next restaurant they would go to together. He was doing a silly dance, giggling until Satoshi caught him around the hips and drew him closer.

He looked at him with wide eyes a bit surprised and Satoshi chuckled as he pecked his cheek. “Cutie,” Satoshi teased him and Kazu blushed a bit more, but relaxed soon as he stuck out his tongue.

“I won,” he said and watched as their sister packed up the bingo sets.

“I can see that.”

“Congrats Kazu,” Mamoru said and ruffled his hair before he stood and stretched out his back. “I am tired. Time for bed,” he said and the other three hummed in agreement. Keiko decided that the big clean-up could wait until tomorrow and tweaked Kazu’s nose as the boy blushed slightly.

“Can you both bring the pot out? There is no space in the fridge and it is cold enough for it to stay out for the night,” she asked.

Kazu wrinkled his nose but nodded. He could do that. He looked at Satoshi who rubbed his side. “I come with you,” Satoshi promised, making him smile.

Kazu jumped to his feet and took the big pot with the leftover soup with a small huff. It was heavy. Satoshi led him outside to open the doors for him and Kazu put it on the big table outside. He rubbed his arms, as it was cold and turned around to flee inside again, just to stop in his tracks.

His eyes widened with a gasp when he found the corner of the terrace prepared with fairy lights, thick blankets and big cushions. Satoshi waited for him there holding out his hand with a small smirk.

“What is this?” Kazu asked, allowing Satoshi to pull him close and down onto comfortable armchairs and pull two blankets over them. Satoshi’s body was warm against his and with the blankets and hidden heating pads under them, Kazu soon got warm again. He snuggled closes, putting his head against Satoshi’s chest to listen to his heartbeat.

It was a bit fast but regular and relaxed Kazu a lot.

“I planned with mum and date to make a special place for us. Nee-chan helped to bring out some things. I have to apologise that she went into your room.”

“Why?”

Satoshi shrugged. All she had told him was that there was something that Kazu would need for their time together.

“And Mina brought an extra cake with chocolate and strawberries.”

“Oh yummy,” Kazu said and his heart fastened up when he could see the small box he knew the bracelet was hidden in on the small table beside Satoshi with the cake, a thermos flask that either held tea or hot chocolate (Kazu really hoped it was hot chocolate!) and he snuggled close.

“My present,” he said and Satoshi laughed.

“You got me something?”

“Uhn… Because you are my boyfriend,” Kazu explained, trying hard to sound more confident about it.

“Oh…” he said and Kazu’s heart stopped he was sure of it as he feared that he had been stupid. Because Satoshi had not thought about it like that.

“You think it is wrong?”

Satoshi shook his head and kissed his cheek, caressing his side and squeezing his hands. “Not at all. I brought something for you as well,” Satoshi confessed. “But I know that you don’t have as much money as I do. You should spend more on yourself.”

Kazu shrugged a little and smiled. “I do,” he promised and moved a bit. He looked into Satoshi’s eyes and then moved forward to put his lips against Satoshi’s she breathed shakily when after a second Satoshi put his arms around him to keep him close and deepened the kiss very slowly and carefully. After that they settled down, watching as the falling snow painted their backyard in white as they shared the hot chocolate their family had prepared them and ate the cake. Presents somehow didn’t seem as important anymore as Kazu had thought firsts.

Still, he loved that they both had brought the other bracelets to wear all the time and be reminded of the other.

Chapter Text

“I thought you were working this weekend,” Kazu said with a pout and Satoshi shook his head. He felt almost bad for the disappointed look on Kazu’s face but it was nothing he could change now.

“No, this weekend is my free weekend,” he explained and almost giggled when Kazu’s shoulders fell. He had one free weekend a month and it was clear that Kazu had put down the wrong one and had made plans already. “It’s okay.”

“But…”

Satoshi shook his head and took Kazu’s hand in his own. He rubbed the cold fingers and pressed a kiss on top of the knuckles, enjoying the blush that now decorated Kazu’s cheeks.

“I thought it was next.”

“Sorry to disappoint.”

Kazu sighed, his shoulders slumped, as he shook his head it was not Satoshi’s fault. He could have made sure but he supposed that he had made a mistake. “Can you check the others I have marked?” he asked shyly.

“Of course, but why?”

“Because if you don’t have to work, I want to go somewhere with you. So we can go somewhere at least once a month for a date,” he explained, almost whispering when he uttered the word date. It still felt strange on his tongue but he also liked those dates in cities close to their home, but far enough for people not knowing that they were actually brothers.

“Cute,” Satoshi said and pulled him a bit closer. He circled his waist and looked up to him. “And we can do that, okay? Still do that now. You have nothing planned tomorrow right?”

Kazu nodded slowly and nibbled at his lip. At least not yet. He had to meet up with Jun and Masaki in a bit for a project for school and normally they would probably have continued with it the next day if they won’t finish it today. Well, then they had to hurry today or hopefully move it to the next weekend. There was still a bit of time until they had to hand it in. He could do this. He was sure, and he was sure that Jun and Masaki would understand if he didn’t slack off on their meeting today.

“I suppose, but tomorrow is Sunday and they said there is construction work for the train line.”

“Then we stay home. Also today I want to meet up with some of my friends.”

Kazu wrinkled his nose with a pout at the thought of Satoshi meeting others, but he still nodded. “With Sho?”

“Yes and the others, so yes also Yuriko,” he said and then chuckled when Kazu’s pout deepened for a second. Yuriko was a sore subject for Kazu but it was also strange because he also liked her. Especially when they met up after Kazu had started dating Satoshi. Yuriko had been nice and teased Satoshi in a friendly way and somehow, Kazu could tell there was nothing between them.

That didn’t change that Kazu knew that Satoshi had done stuff with Yuriko that he wouldn’t do with him, and that Satoshi was experienced in ways he was not now. He shook his head with a sigh.

Satoshi smiled and pulled him down to kiss the soft lips of his boyfriend. He ruffled his hair with a small smile and kissed his cheek. “You’re the cutest,” he whispered in his ear, hugging Kazu close when the younger boy shuddered on top of him. “Message me if you finish your work early and maybe we can have dinner together. Otherwise, we can hide away in my or your room tomorrow all afternoon and spend time together. If mum and dad stay in, but I think there way an exhibition mum wanted to visit.”

“Promise?”

“Promise. You should head out or you’ll be late and I would be scared to let Jun-kun wait.”

“J is a softy. He likes to growl but doesn’t mean it,” Kazu said with a giggle and kissed Satoshi on the cheek before jumping to his feet. “But he might make me work longer if I am late to make up for it, so I’ll head out first. Have fun!”

Satoshi watched him leave with a small smile, already missing the pliant body against his but then he decided to get ready for the meet-up with his friends. It had been a while since he had been able to see them all with the others slowly getting either close to finals or starting in the workforce as well.

He knew that the others would go out for drinks that night, but he didn’t mind bowing out early if that meant that he could have a nice dinner with Kazu and watch him talk about the things that interested him and see that twinkle in his eyes that he had loved from the early days. He still couldn’t believe his luck that Nino liked him back, and he felt like one of the luckiest persons on earth.

—

“I’m sorry,” Kazu murmured a few weeks later. Satoshi had again a free weekend and this time Kazu had made sure that he was free on those two days. And they had made plans to go out and spend time together. Kazu had looked forward to playing catch with Satoshi - even if the older didn’t like it - take a long walk and then share ice cream and other things.

But no, he had to come down with a freaking cold and now was lying in bed and he felt so horrible that it was hard for him to even keep his eyes open. Their mother was sure it was the flu and had outright forbidden him to go even to the backyard. Not that Kazu felt like that. All he could do was lie in his bed or on the sofa and sleep most of the time.

Satoshi chuckled and carefully pushed the hair back from his forehead to check the temperature. He hummed when he thought it was a bit slower than the morning and knelt in front of the bed as he caught the tears collecting in Kazu’s eyes. He knew the other felt bad for “cancelling” their date and ruining his weekend. But Satoshi didn’t mind. Of course, he would love to be out and about with his boyfriend and not watch him so weak and tired.

“What for?”

“That you now have to take care of me. I could have stayed home alone until mama comes back from work.”

Satoshi shook his head and caressed the warm cheeks. “Never. I don’t mind standing at home if that means we can spend the day together, Kazu. And I like taking care of you. So don’t worry. Let me carry you down, then you can try to watch TV, and eat some of the porridge I warmed up while I change your sheets.”

Kazu hesitated for a moment since he did not want to make extra work for Satoshi but then he nodded, knowing that he would feel better with fresh sheets and if the room was aired out. He also knew that he would never make it down the living room alive as he already had a hard time walking to the bathroom down the hallway. Also, their mother had made sure that all of her kids knew how to handle common illnesses and what to do and what not to do. Kazu supposed that was part of what it meant to be the child of a nurse.

Satoshi got up again and put his arms under Kazu’s body as he waited until Kazu’s arms closed around his neck to lift him and carry him down. He made sure that Kazu was under the blankets on the sofa, propped up by cushions and with tea and porridge before he left him to take care of the room so that Kazu could move back whenever he felt like it. Of course, he could think of many more fun things to do than taking care of an ill Kazu, but also… He would think about him and worry all day if he was not here, so he was also glad that the worst part of the illness seemed to happen while he was at home on the weekend and not when he was forced to work away from it.

Satoshi cleaned the room before going down again to sit down beside Kazu who slumped against him with a sigh. Satoshi chuckled as he hugged him with an arm and caressed his side. How could he be angry when this meant that Kazu was extra cuddly? He would never want to trade his place right now to someone else.

“Want to go back to sleep?”

“Sleepy,” Kazu agreed with a sigh.

“You need a painkiller?”

Kazu shook his head with a hum, as he closed his eyes and put his forehead against Satoshi’s slightly cooler shoulder. He didn’t need a painkiller right now. He just wanted to sleep and he knew that the cold medicine he would have to take in a few hours again would also help with the pain.

“Will you stay?”

Satoshi almost cooed at the cute question of Kazu and moved a bit so that Kazu was now halfway sitting/leaning against Satoshi more comfortably and rocked him from side to side until the boy fell asleep in his arms. He kissed the top of his head as he watched Kazu who was gripping his shirt tightly, with puckered lips and a small huff now and then as he breathed. The only thing missing, Satoshi thought, was being able to kiss his adorable little boyfriend. But Kazu would freak out with the worry to give his illness to Satoshi (and probably also feeling disgusting while doing so).

“I will take all the kisses when you are healthy again,” Satoshi hummed in a low voice, smiling when Kazu made a noise that he counted as agreement.

Chapter Text

Kazu groaned as he let his head fall on top of his books on the desk. He moved his head to the side, looking outside and frowning. Today was the first day without rain in two weeks or so. He wanted to go out, play with his friends and here he was, studying for his last exams and his head felt ready to explode.

He sighed and pulled out his phone to check the time. It was only eleven am and he had woken up early to see Satoshi off for work and get an early start on his studies. He had started to enjoy those early morning kisses he was allowed to share with Satoshi.

They were slow, warm and made him feel good. On some days he would go back to bed after Satoshi had left, on others, he started to prepare breakfast for their parents and then watched the sun go up as he thought about what he wanted to do in future.

He was not sure yet. He only had decided to get the best marks he could. He would love to pursue music more. But he also wanted to do something with a secure future. Satoshi had decided to become a baker so easily it had seemed. One day he just told their parents that he had decided to do this and that was it.

How did you decide on what to do for the rest of your future? Kazu had no idea honestly. The school didn’t help a lot, neither did his friends. Jun and Masaki had applied for college already, knowing what they wanted to do, and free to move away as they wanted to.

Kazu had applied to different places, as he knew he needed to do so to be on time, but without a special destination in mind. He didn’t know what Satoshi’s plans were and he was scared to ask. He couldn’t even say why. Satoshi always told him to think only about what he wanted to do in future, but that was hard. Not only, did he have little ideas, as he liked a lot of things, but also… There was his family and especially Satoshi.

He sighed and kicked the desk slightly as he pushed himself away from it, messaging Aiba if he was okay with meeting up at the hitting centre for a bit. He couldn’t concentrate on his studies and it didn’t make sense to get angry over stuff he couldn’t change right now.

—

“Aaaah!” Kazu sighed as he fell to the bench after a few shots. His muscles burned slightly from the exertion but his mind felt a bit clearer. It was Aiba’s turn so he watched him in silence for a while sipping on the soda he had bought when they entered.

He played with the rim of the can and listened to the sounds of balls hitting metal either the cages or the bats. It was something he liked a lot.

“Aiba-chan?”

“What is it?”

“How did you decide what you want to do after school?”

“I talked with my parents. And it is easy. I like animals, so caring for them is fun.”

“And how did you decide on the place you want to go?”

Aiba hummed as he hit the next ball and then hit the button to make the machine stop and sit down in front of Kazu with a smirk on his face. Kazu frowned and kicked him slightly.

“What?!”

“Are you worried about your future and you decide to ask me for help?”

Kazu kicked him again for good measure and glared at him slightly. “Just because I know that J is studying today and wouldn’t have answered.”

Aiba chuckled and then put his hands behind him to lean back and stare up into his eyes. “Why are you worried?” he asked and was serious very suddenly.

Kazu sighed and leaned back against the wired cage as he hit the back of his head slightly. “I always thought I can do something with music. I wanted to study it more, learn more… But I also would love to help Satoshi. It is interesting what he does,” he said with a small grimace.

Aiba giggled and shook his head. He could not imagine Kazu spending his days baking bread, kneading dough and all that stuff. That was Satoshi’s thing. He giggled at the image of a disgruntled Kazu with flour on his cheek.

“Nah, you would make a good music teacher,” Aiba said. “You taught me playing the guitar.”

“I tried at least. Not sure you can play a whole song.”

Aiba stuck out his tongue and watched Kazu furrow his brows as he considered his words silently.

“Also why not as a star? A teacher is boring.”

“You make a cute teacher. All girls and boys will fall for you.”

“Why would I want that? Stupid!”

“And you will get lonely on tours and annoyed by questions or fans shrieking. I can’t see you as a pop star or idol,” Aiba added as if he hadn’t heard him before.

“Stupid.”

“And you always talked about how much you loved music. I remember the happiness when your parents agreed to let you go to every music school you wanted. You did a bit less in the last weeks.”

Kazu deflated slightly and stared at the ceiling. That was true. He missed his guitar and keyboard, but he thought he should concentrate more on the exams and then there was Satoshi. If he also added time for music it would be too much.

“Learning more about music will mean that I need to go to school longer. And it is expensive…”

“Mhm… You can work part-time.”

Kazu nodded, he knew that and it was his plan all along to work when he finished high school. To save up more money, to help provide, but…

“But I can’t pay for the things I need and a place to live,” he said in the end. “I don’t even know if… Aiba-chan?”

“Mhm?”

Kazu looked down and bit his lower lip as he realised how soft Aiba’s eyes were right now.

“I want to move somewhere else,” he whispered. “But I also don’t. I will miss my parents so so much. But…”

“… but you would like to live somewhere else with Satoshi-kun?”

Kazu nodded and hid his face slightly as he realised he was blushing. “But Satoshi has a job that he likes. He likes living here, we never talked about it. And most colleges I send applications to are so close that I can commute from here…”

Aiba nodded and patted his knee. “You also applied to that music school that is not that close. And I am sure you can get in if you set your mind to it. I also think that Satoshi-kun would prefer to not be reminded that you are his little brother by about everybody around you two.”

Kazu grimaced and nodded. He would like that a lot as well. It was already strange knowing they were brothers, even if adopted, and there were times he forgot just to be reminded and that feeling of being reminded was the worst if he was honest.

“As I see it and I mean it in the best way possible: You should do what you want, and I guess you already know what you want, but are too scared to go there. It is always scary to change things up. I can promise you that your parents will be proud of whatever decision you do. You won’t lose them, just because you move away.”

“I don’t want to be away from Satoshi,” Kazu said with a pout, still hiding his face.

“And while that is super cute, did you talk about it with Satoshi-kun?”

“He says, I should decide on my own.” The pout got bigger and he hit his head against the back again. It was unfair. He would not be happy if Satoshi did not take him into consideration when he made plans for the future. “Am I so much in the wrong here? I mean… I want to be with Satoshi, that much I know. I want us to get to know better. I mean… okay, I know him pretty well, but as my big brother. At home, it is so much family and… It is different, I… I can’t explain…”

“You don’t want to decide all alone.”

Kazu fell silent as he nodded mutely. But he worried that it was wrong of him. Was he too dependent? But why was that wrong if he wanted to take the wishes and thoughts of others into consideration? He just didn’t get it.

“I would say… Talk to Satoshi-kun and tell him clearly what you want and expect from him.”

Kazu nibbled on his lower lip and then nodded with a sigh. That was probably the only solution right now.

“I should do that…”

Aiba nodded again and got to his feet. He patted the back of his jeans and grinned down at Kazu. “A few more rounds?”

Kazu stuck out his tongue and checked his watch, before picking up his bag. He righted his hat and shook his head. “Nope, I feel like a pastry. Satoshi is off in an hour.”

“Your treat?”

“You wish!”

“Come on, I gave you good advice.”

“You babbled. I should have called J.”

“I gave advice. You know now what to do.”

“As you had pointed out I already knew what I wanted. I didn’t need your help.”

“You so did!”

“Did not.”

Aiba giggled as they bickered back and forth until they arrived at the bakery. Kazu hesitated just a second before pushing the door open, hitting Aiba when the other laughed at him.

“Welcome!” Satoshi greeted and Kazu swore he did not blush even if Aiba said otherwise. “Kazu, Masaki-kun, surprised to see you here.”

“We met at the batting centre,” Aiba explained and Satoshi lifted his eyebrow questioningly.

“I decided a break from studying would be good. Mama agreed,” Kazu said and Satoshi nodded in understanding.

“How about you two chose what you want and I will bring it over to a table.”

“Kazu said he’ll treat me,” Aiba announced and Kazu kicked him with a pout.

“I did not. He is a lying liar.”

“Am not!”

“No fighting in here,” Satoshi reminded him with an amused but stern look on his face and Kazu blushed more as he dragged Aiba away to a table at the side of the bakery. They were a bit out of sight, but Kazu knew that if he sat there he could watch Satoshi working behind the counter and serving the customers. He liked that.

Chapter Text

Kazu was still awake, lying in bed and staring at the ceiling. He had told his parents that he would go to bed. His head was swimming slightly from all the studying he had done and then the talk with Aiba. He knew he needed to talk to Satoshi soon or his head would explode.

But… There was the thing that Kazu was not sure if Satoshi would think of him as an annoying kid if he told him he wanted to decide together. Would Satoshi think that he was too lazy to decide on his own? Or too childish, scared?

Kazu was scared, of course, it was a big change and a big thing for his future, but at the same time… He would love to be able to get to that university a bit further away. He had applied for it with the thought there was no way they would even consider him. He had told himself that it was stupid to even try but now that there was a chance that he could get in. He really wanted it. The nights hidden under blankets trying to figure out that one melody he wanted to record and send in as a first application had been scary, exciting and as if he was doing something forbidden.

The day he had gotten the reply that they would be happy to welcome him if his finals brought the right marks had been confusing and like a bit too much. Now he was at a loss to what to do. Getting into the college close to home was easier. No best marks were required, he could travel from home and stay with his parents. The thought of leaving them was scary. Sometimes he was not sure if he would be welcomed back if he left. He knew his parents loved him, but they could not decide otherwise while he was there, they could not get used to being without him.

Kazu grimaced and pulled the blanket over his head. That was such a stupid thought. His parents would never throw him away like that. They were different, maybe not fully perfect but for him they were.

He grumbled and rolled to his side, fighting off the blankets again and then stood up when he heard low noises coming from Satoshi’s room. Satoshi was home and not yet asleep. He could tell from the sound that he had pulled back his chair, probably wanting to draw something and that could take hours. So no chance for Kazu to really keep him awake.

Kazu was silent as he left his room to enter Satoshi’s room without knocking. A small smirk on his face when he managed to startle Satoshi a tiny bit. It was always funny when he managed that since it happened so seldom.

“Hey Kazu, I thought you were tired?”

Kazu shrugged and closed the door with a soft click again. He leaned against the cool wood and tilted his head. “Am I disturbing you?”

“Never,” Satoshi answered quickly, making Kazu snort. He knew that it was not true, and Satoshi giggled softly as he moved around on the chair to face him. He held out his hand offering Kazu to come closer, who smiled and did as he was asked. Satoshi pulled him on his lap and Kazu took one of Satoshi’s hands in his own.

He traced his fingers in silence for a moment, before with a little sigh he leaned against Satoshi’s chest. He felt the deep even breaths against his back and slowly felt his breaths becoming the same rhythm.

“I have thought about things,” he said after a while, and Satoshi hummed as one arm settled warmly around his waist, his hand spread out on his stomach, sending warmth throughout Kazu’s body. Kazu smiled and continued to hold Satoshi’s hand and play with the fingers, giggling when Satoshi wriggled them.

“What about?”

“That you are unfair,” Kazu said after a moment of thought. But yes, that was the right word for what he was feeling about Ohno pushing all plans to be made solely by him. He didn’t want that kind of responsibility for two people, and he couldn’t take it. But he also thought that it was not his job to have to think about what he wanted and how it would affect both of them alone.

Satoshi stayed silent and Kazu wanted to hit him very much right now but that would be very childish and he was done with being that in all honesty.

“I get that you don’t want to pressure me with what you think is right for my future, but it is very unfair to make it sound as if it only depends on me. At least considering we are in a relationship that we want to keep. And we want that right?” Kazu asked, hating himself for a second to sound insecure about this fact. But maybe Satoshi told him to decide all alone because Satoshi didn’t see them sharing their future. Then this would be very stupid.

But Satoshi was still holding him warmly and not shoving him off his lap so Kazu told himself there was no reason to worry about that right now.

“I would like that very much at least,” Satoshi explained. “But it is not only my decision.”

“Stupid, you’re so stupid,” Kazu grumbled and held Satoshi’s hand a bit tighter in his own. The older chuckled but also apologised in a whisper and that was enough for Kazu right now.

“I don’t want to decide and chose alone. That is lonely and makes me sad. I want to stay with you so I would like to decide for the future something manageable for both of us. But I can’t do that alone, and I shouldn’t have to.”

“You’re right,” Satoshi said in the end with a small sigh and moved Kazu on his lap to force the younger to look at him. “I am sorry. I didn’t think about that, because all that was on my mind was the worry of holding you back and then you end up doing something you don’t want to because of me, and already decided to follow you wherever you might want to go.”

Kazu sighed and shook his head. “But that is not how it should work,” he decided after a moment and looked at him with big eyes. “I want to know what you want. Would you be okay with me moving away? Just like that?”

“Mhm… It would not be just like that because I would follow you, we could share the rent of an apartment as lovers instead of brothers. It is a nice thought right?”

Kazu blushed but nodded. It would be nice to hold hands all the time and maybe surprise Satoshi with a cheeky kiss on the street. But here he was too scared about the looks and hate they might receive. Satoshi said it didn’t matter, but it did! It would make people think they were not right, they would say nasty things about them, to them and their parents. Kazu didn’t want that.

“And what if I stayed here? If I wanted to go to the college two blocks down and nothing changed?” Kazu asked and poked Satoshi when the other grimaced.

“You’re too smart to settle with that.”

“No, but what if I wanted that, Satoshi?”

“Then I would still stay with you,” he said softly.

“Would you like it the same?”

Satoshi stayed silent for a second, looking at the stubborn eyes of Kazu and then sighed as he caressed his cheek. “I suppose I always thought you wanted to move,” he said in the end. “You have the whole world in front of you.”

“But I neither need, nor want the whole world,” Kazu said with a chuckle, but then he sighed. “I am scared of the thought of moving, leaving mama and papa behind, leaving you.”

“You can visit all the time.”

Kazu nodded and sighed. “I know,” he whispered. And the thought was okay, visiting his parents was okay, it was not as if he had thought to live in this house until he grew old. But without Satoshi was even harder. “But… And this is important for my decision of what to do, Satoshi, I want to be with you. But I can’t decide that on my own. You have a job here, your friends are here, your family is here.”

“Kazu, Kazu…” Satoshi cupped his cheeks and put a soft kiss on his lips. “I want to be with you as well. As I said I would follow you everywhere, that is why I wanted you to decide, because my decision was clear from the beginning. I have a job at a bakery, I can find another one everywhere. Coffee shop, bakery, convenience store or whatever… I don’t care. I am content either way, as I have fulfilment in my hobbies, not my work. I decided that long ago.”

“But you didn’t tell me. That was unfair.”

“I’m sorry.”

Kazu pouted but then put his hands on top of Satoshi’s to remove them from his cheeks. “I… There is a small university that I applied for and they would take me if I finish school with very good marks. It specialises in music and… I would like that. Not sure what then, but I would like to learn more professionally, but it is a few hours from home.”

Satoshi smiled and squeezed his fingers. “That sounds wonderful and perfect for you.”

“I don’t want to go there if you don’t come with me.”

“I wouldn’t want that as well. As I said I will come with you, okay?”

Kazu nodded and nibbled on his lower lip. “And mama and papa?”

“Will be very happy for you and demand that you visit at least every second week.” Satoshi squeezed his hands again and then pulled slightly at them, until Kazu ducked down so that he could kiss the inviting lips and because Kazu still looked a bit insecure after he blew a raspberry against the side of his mouth, smiling when Kazu giggled because it tickled.

Chapter Text

After his late-night talk with Satoshi, it was way easier for Kazu to talk to their parents. It was still a bit nerve-wracking to go down to his parents one evening and ask them if he could talk to them about his future. It was silly, he knew, but thinking about the future was a bit scary. He wondered if that would ever change.

Kazu also couldn’t deny that there was a rush of happiness and excitement rolling through his body when they easily agreed that the university sounded good. It was a bit more expensive since it was a small private one, but if he was good enough there were chances to get a partial scholarship and their living costs would be less if he and Satoshi shared an apartment. Also, Kazu hoped that he would find a small student job to provide a bit for their monthly costs as well.

He pouted when his mother chuckled at those words, reminding him that that would be a fight he could hold with Satoshi on his own since she was sure that his big brother would tell him that he should leave it to himself.

Well, if Satoshi did that, Kazu would ignore Satoshi and withhold any kisses, he decided. If Satoshi thought he was a kid and not old enough to work, he was not old enough for such things!

He felt much more motivated to continue to study hard to get the average the university had told him he would need to be able to enter. It was a bit scary, but Kazu was positive he could do it. After all, he had managed to get through the musical part of the application process already!

Kazu was humming under his breath as he read the same part of the page for the fifth time, before letting his head fall on top of the open book with a deep sigh. He moved so that he could check the time on the clock of his laptop and grimaced slightly. It was late. No wonder he couldn’t concentrate anymore. He should stop for tonight, he thought with a small frown and rubbed his eyes with his fingers. There was no use to force himself to study more but it was annoying that it was just one more page for this chapter. Maybe just a short ten-minute break, then finishing this page and going to sleep, he thought. Then he would put his books away for the rest of the weekend and either ask his friends or Satoshi if they could do something together. On Monday would be the first mock exam and he knew better than to try some last-minute studying. He wanted to do good, but also see how he fared. He had no idea anymore. His grades were not bad, nor very good, mostly average, but Sakurai-senpai had been convinced (mostly by Satoshi) to help him plan out a study plan and recommended a few good help books for Maths and languages.

The older had made sure that everything was in there that he would need with pointers and he had emphasised that regular study breaks were important and told him very clearly that trying to repeat everything the night before was the worst thing he could do. He had a small paper with the most important pointers to go over but no more. Also, Sakurai-senpai had told him to try to make cheat sheets he would be able to take into the exam to cheat (but of course not to actually do it) because if he could get his mind to get triggered with the right information by anything that would fit a small slip of paper Sakurai-senpai had promised him that he didn’t need it.

It was late into the night that Satoshi made a short bathroom trip. He sighed when he saw the light shining through the small gap in Kazu’s door and shook his head. Fully ready to go in and scold his brother and boyfriend for studying so late. Kazu hadn’t played games in the night for a while now, moving his gaming time to the mornings before school instead, and even if he did game he probably would scold him. It was way after midnight.

Satoshi stopped in his tracks when he realised that Kazu had fallen asleep over his books and sighed softly. He was careful as to not wake him when he went over. He smiled at how pretty Kazu looked. His face looked always so smooth and soft, his lips were slightly open and his long dark lashes rested beautifully on his pale cheeks. He got the most beautiful boyfriend in the world if anything asked him. And he would argue that it was a completely objective thought.

He bend down to be able to get his arms under Kazu’s legs and over his back with a bit of struggle he lifted Kazu up to get him to bed. Kazu groaned when he was moved and blinked his eyes open sleepily very very slowly.

“Satoshi?” he murmured almost inaudible.

“Stay asleep,” he whispered and dropped a kiss on his temple. “It’s late.”

“Mhm… Warm,” Kazu mumbled and rubbed his face against Satoshi’s shoulder where it had fallen against. He made an almost purring sound and Satoshi chuckled at the cuteness.

“I’m glad then,” he murmured, trying to keep his voice not much louder than a whisper so that Kazu would stay in his dream-like state. He put Kazu down on the bed carefully and moved the body so that he could put the blanket over him. “Comfy?”

Kazu nodded with a hum but tugged at his shirt. “Kissy.”

“Of course a goodnight kiss,” Satoshi promised as he bend over him and gifted him with just that. Kazu moaned slightly before turning to his side with a happy sigh and a cute smile on his face.

Ohno grinned because that expression was there because of him, and what was better than making Kazu happy? “Night.”

“Goodnight,” Kazu replied, already half asleep, his fingers still tightly buried in Satoshi’s shirt and he rolled his eyes.

“Let me go?”

“No, soft, warm, nice, stay.”

Satoshi rolled his eyes with a small chuckle as he followed the weak tug and climbed into bed behind Kazu. “Menace. Sleep.”

“Uhn, sleep good,” Kazu agreed and just seconds later there were small snores coming from the other boy as Kazu had buried his face halfway into the cushions, effectively cutting off some of his oxygen. Satoshi chuckled but he knew that Kazu actually preferred this almost claustrophobic sleeping position, as he hugged him from behind, kissing his nape and getting comfortable to go back to sleep now in Kazu’s room instead of his own. Silently thankful that he first went to the toilet and then checked up on Kazu.

Chapter Text

Kazu waved at Jun and Masaki when he recognised his parents and siblings standing to the side. The families of the others were close, so it was not surprising that the two boys also ran up to their families. Kazu was clutching his certificate tightly in his slightly sweaty hands. He had been nervous and excited throughout all the graduation ceremony. So much even that he almost missed the cue to go up to the stage to get what he had worked so hard for.

Thankfully Jun had sat beside him and nudged him when his name was called, making it not as awkward as if he had to be called a second time. It was strange, he already knew that he got all qualifications he would need to get into the college he wanted to. He and Satoshi were already looking for apartments there. Satoshi had told him to wait for looking for a job until the start of the new term, seeing how college was treating him and what his classes were. Reluctantly Kazu had agreed, mostly because it would be easier if he had a timetable ready. He already decided to fight tooth and nail with Satoshi if needed to be able to help out finance their lifestyle.

His family would also help out as he was still a minor but he wanted to feel like an adult to have an adult relationship with Satoshi. Otherwise, it was very strange in his mind. But that was for after the holidays, he decided. For now, he finally graduated, he was far from the best in their class, but good enough for his dream.

“Congratulations!”

Kazu chuckled as he finally reached his family and allowed them to hug him tightly. “I did it!” he cheered, grinning almost until it hurt when Satoshi ruffled his hair.

God, how much he wished to kiss his boyfriend! It was unfair, but they were brothers to everybody here and Kazu was far from ready to get scrutinised by everybody. Especially on a day like this. He also worried that their parents would get strange looks and if it meant that he needed to wait until they were home to be able to kiss Satoshi he could live with it.

“Of course you did,” Satoshi said and pinched his cheek. “You’re pretty smart if you try hard enough.”

“Meanie,” Kazu mumbled and stuck out his tongue, jumping back, when Satoshi threatened to catch it.

“Don’t mind him, Kazu. He is just jealous,” Mina said and giggled when Satoshi rolled his eyes. Their parents shook their heads and then his mother came over to hug him tightly.

“You three behave. I demand a picture with the graduate.”

“Me as well,” his father added and Kazu smiled when he was pulled in their middle for some pictures. He rotated through the rest of his family, smiling brightly each time. It was hard not to with how happy he was.

“Wait,” he called out when he saw Jun leaving and shook his sister off as he ran over to catch him before they left. He bopped his head in the direction of Jun’s parents and older sister as he held Jun’s hand.

“I want a picture with us three,” Kazu explained at the confused look on Jun’s face and then chuckled as he agreed.

“Sorry, just a minute?” he asked his parents who nodded with a chuckle and then followed Nino to catch Aiba. After the picture was done he was happy to leave with his parents, his hand now held tightly by Satoshi as they swung it back and forth, talking about the small celebration with their grandparents later and all of Kazu’s favourite foods that his parents had made for him, and the celebration cake that Satoshi had made especially for him.

Satoshi stopped him in front of the door, carefully tugging at the top button until it popped off. At Kazu’s frown, he grinned and looked around for a second before brushing his lips against Kazu’s. “That’s mine.”

—

“Kazu, wakey-wakey,” Satoshi whispered as he caressed the soft cheek of the other boy.

Kazu groaned slightly and turned to his side, slightly batting away the hand. He was so tired. He had come home late the day before, the small graduation trip he had planned with Jun and Masaki ending the night before. There had been a delay because of construction work so Kazu had arrived home later than planned.

Satoshi chuckled but was not deterred as he poked his cheek again, before moving closer to him and pressing a kiss to the warm lips. “Can’t do that. Come on you have to wake up, Kazu.”

“Don’t wanna. I can sleep in,” Kazu grumbled but with Satoshi’s insisting he opened his eyes halfway, glaring at Satoshi.

Satoshi chuckled and pressed his lips against the other again. “I am sorry, but you need to wake up. I am very jealous that all your attention was on your friends the last few days and I plan to abduct you.”

“You can do that later.”

“Later the plane will be gone,” he teased and tweaked his nose.

“What?”

“I thought a little trip will be fun, and mom and dad pinched in since they also paid part of my graduation trip, and I didn’t really graduate.”

“They helped out with the other trip already.”

“Mhm… But that was very cheap and you have a big sister and a big brother who will also pinch in. That is your luck as the baby in the family. Now come on. I got the flights cheap because they are so early.”

“Urgh… Okay…” Kazu mumbled and shoved him away before stumbling out of bed. Satoshi held him around the waist as he helped him to the bathroom.

“Any special wishes for what you want to bring?”

“Where are we going?”

“Somewhere warm,” Satoshi promised and Kazu chuckled.

“My travel sickness pills, a cardigan, and one of your hoodies.”

Satoshi laughed out loud when the door closed with a bang and then added the wished items to the bag he had already done in advance. He made sure he had both of their passports, and emergency money, before closing the bag and putting it in the hallway with his own. “I packed new toothbrushes so don’t worry about it,” he called as he went to the kitchen where their parents were already having breakfast.

“Kazu will be down in a bit,” he said as he sat down and took the offered cup of water with a smile. Keiko had prepared a small breakfast for them and would drive them to the airport with Mamoru so that Satoshi didn’t need to worry about that for which he was very thankful. When Kazu came down he forced him to eat a bit with the help of their mother before they allowed Kazu to take the first pill to be able to survive the flight and off they went on a hopefully very nice holiday.

Chapter Text

N/A: I was trying to get information about Okinawa, but I didn’t write for so long and didn’t want to make myself over-analyse how it looks there to just write something. I am sorry if all the places and descriptions don’t fit Okinawa. Let’s act as if it is just my fantasy version of it okay?

Satoshi smiled as he watched Kazu who was tucked in beside him. The flight wasn’t too long, but Kazu had been unable to keep his eyes open after they were allowed to open the belts. It had been hard enough to get him onto the plane and on his seat after the pills had kicked in. The younger boy was cute and looked so much younger again when he was asleep like that.

Satoshi had put a blanket around him with the help of a flight attendant and his arm was around his waist, caressing the soft skin of his hips where the shirt had been riding up a little bit. Satoshi mostly stared at his younger lover after their departure. Not that interested in staring at the clouds to maybe get a glimpse of what was under them. In his mind watching Kazu was so much more rewarding.

There was a slight ping before a slightly static voice told them to get ready for landing and with a small regret Satoshi rubbed Kazu’s waist a bit stronger to wake the boy up and whispered into his ear until the eyes opened slightly.

“What?”

“We are there, come on, you need to sit properly in your seat Kazu.”

“Ugh…” Kazu mumbled as he rubbed his face and wrinkled his nose as he moved. He felt so stiff. Still, he smiled at the woman who took the blanket back and forced himself to follow the instructions upon landing. He could take a nap whenever they arrived at their hotel, he was sure. Too little sleep, a small breakfast and the pills had been a very strong combination this time. His fingers closed around Ohno’s as the plane seemed to make a jump, he always hated landing and departing the most.

Satoshi led them through the airport and into a waiting taxi that would bring them to their final destination. The drive would take a bit, so it didn’t surprise him when Kazu dozed off once more and shook him awake with a chuckle when they arrived. They thanked the driver and Kazu seemed more alert now that they stood in front of the small ryokan that Satoshi had booked for them. It looks small and not like Kazu had expected. Kazu had thought that Satoshi booked them a room in one of the bigger hotels on the main island instead the ryokan was tucked away, surrounded by plants and Kazu could hear the waves from the ocean.

“It looks nice,” he whispered after a moment of silent observation, giggling when Satoshi breathed a sigh of relief.

“I have one thing to tell you before we check in,” Satoshi said then though, a frown on his face.

“What is it?”

“Mhm… I thought you would prefer if we are not seen as brothers, and nobody would believe we are married yet. So I booked you under another name. Well... Technically at least.”

Kazu fell silent for a moment, understanding what Satoshi meant without the need for elaboration. In the end, he sighed and nodded. “I see,” he mumbled and wrinkled his nose. Well, it wasn’t as if he had some real memories connected to the name Ninomiya it just seemed wrong now. “Okay, I just hope that they will be convinced if I ask them to call my Kazunari.”

“If you look at them with puppy eyes, they will fulfil each of your wishes.”

“Stupid.”

“Come on, let’s go in.”

Kazu still nodded with a frown, that turned into a small smile, when Satoshi held out his hand. He took it and together they entered. Kazu looked around curiously as Satoshi walked them to the front desk and talked to the people behind the counter. Kazu just listened with half an ear as he had no idea what Satoshi booked, but he knew that at least Satoshi didn’t mind. And he managed to smile at the right places at least.

“We don’t offer lunch here, but we could bring some drinks and a small snack to your room if you want to relax first,” the owner of the house offered and Satoshi looked at him questioningly.

“That sounds perfect, thank you,” Kazu said after a moment of thought. He felt better and more awake, but the thought of having to look for a place to have lunch right away didn’t sound enticing.

“Yes, I think we will stay in mostly today. I saw you have a garden we can visit?”

“Of course. You can enter it from your patio directly. I will bring drinks and snacks in a bit and give you the information about what we offer and what you can visit around here. Tamiko-san will show you to your room.”

“Thank you, that would be very helpful,” he agreed with a small smile.

They followed the woman silently. Satoshi playfully tugged Kazu closer, as they walked, which caused Kazu to slightly bump into him.

“Childish,” Kazu scolded slightly and blushed when the woman chuckled in front of them. Satoshi just smirked and thanked her as she opened the door for them.

“Dinner will be around 7 pm. We can bring it to your room and set up the futons then as well.”

“That would be perfect. Thank you Tamiko-san,” Satoshi said, while Kazu just nodded. He put the bag down as the woman left them and turned around himself to take the room in. It was not very big but the space was enough for the two of them. The patio door was slightly open, causing a breeze to come into their room that brought the smell of the ocean with him.

“What do you think?”

“It’s nice,” Kazu mumbled as he opened the doors wider. He smiled at Satoshi before he pulled him out to sit on the wooden floor so that he could climb into his lap. “And comfy.”

Satoshi shook his head in amusement before laying his head on Kazu’s shoulder. “I agree,” he said after a moment. He watched the flowers, which he had no idea what they were called and the palm trees around them.

“You chose a very beautiful place,” Kazu said after a moment of silence, just basking at the moment.

“Glad you like it. I thought a big hotel with tons of people was not suited for this vacation.”

“Oh, how come?” Kazu asked in a slightly teasing voice, giggling when Satoshi’s fingers danced over his side and under his shirt to touch the skin of his stomach.

“I just wanted to make it special,” Satoshi said finally and Kazu hummed. He moved his head when the owner peaked outside, fighting a blush. It was the first time someone outside their closest family witnessed them like that and it was always a bit nerve-wracking.

“Would you like to take the refreshments out on the patio?”

Kazu shook his head and poked Satoshi. “Inside would be wonderful. We just couldn’t resist the beauty outside.”

She smiled and nodded in understanding, vanishing inside again and Kazu poked Satoshi for him to let him go so that they could go inside. “Come on I’m thirsty and a shower and maybe some lighter clothes might be better suited.”

“Mhm…” Satoshi said, now sounding sleepy and Kazu shook his head, knowing that Satoshi would take a nap after their snack. Of course, the older would be sleepy when Kazu was awake. They had their tea and snacks in silence and Kazu forced Satoshi to go shower first before he would fall asleep.

Satoshi came back with a happy smile, now wearing a yukata, which made Kazu look up in confusion.

“They are complementary in the bathroom. Wear yours after your shower!”

Kazu groaned but allowed Satoshi to pull him up and push him to the bathroom. He complained just slightly when Satoshi robbed him of his shirts and jeans before leaving again and rolling his eyes. He eyed the yukata and sighed. At least it fitted the atmosphere around the ryokan, he guessed and as they wouldn’t go to any beaches today it would be fine.

Kazu spent a bit longer under the water than Satoshi and by the time he was back Satoshi was asleep beside the low table they had their drinks on. Kazu chuckled as he walked over and picked up a glass of tea and a pamphlet to study beside Satoshi’s sleeping form to figure out what they could do here. He was glad that it was just spring and therefore not yet as hot or humid as it would be in the summer months. It was already warmer than in Tokyo as it was. He didn’t need humidity on top of it.

Today they would relax, tomorrow Kazu decided to drag Satoshi a bit sightseeing and the beach would be for the afternoons or early evenings. Kazu watched Satoshi for a second, resisting poking his cheek as he was sure that the other would beg him to go to the hot springs belonging to this place. Kazu wouldn’t mind, but that didn’t mean that Kazu couldn’t enjoy having Satoshi plead for them to go.

A/N2: Sorry, if this is not really what people expected (it isn’t what I expected but it’s a start!)

Chapter Text

Weeks had passed since their vacation in Okinawa and something had changed between them during that time. Kazu couldn’t fully put a finger on it but he could tell that it was a good thing. A tiny blush appeared on his cheeks as images of their time spent together came back to his mind.

Their vacation had been spent with almost no sightseeing and probably less time on the beach than Satoshi would have liked, but Kazu didn’t feel like he really minded. The time had been well spend in their room, on the small patio and the garden. It had been more secluded there than anywhere else and both quickly learnt to appreciate that. As much as Kazu loved the places Satoshi had taken him before, they had never been just them for such a long time. Kazu had become more secure in touching, being close to Satoshi - almost claustrophobic so - and making sure that his wishes and demands were heard by Satoshi. He wasn’t so sure that Satoshi felt secure in confiding with him, but Kazu thought, Satoshi seemed to not see him as much as a child anymore.

Well considering what they had all done and experienced together it would make Satoshi a hypocrite as well. At that thought he couldn’t fight the new intensity of his blush and shook his head as to shake away all his thoughts. It would be better that way, he decided, back to the task at hand.

They had found an apartment, his new life as a university student would start in just two weeks, which meant their move was planned for the weekend. So he had to get on with packing up his belongings. Honestly, memories of their vacation were more welcome as packing up everything was disturbing about it. The thoughts of somehow leaving his parents were scary. He knew he was always welcome here. He was looking forward to living with Satoshi full-time. God, he couldn’t wait for Satoshi to be just Satoshi and not his big brother for everybody. One thing Okinawa had done to Kazu was that now he hated, even more, any mention of how proud Satoshi had to be of his little brother and not being allowed to hold his hand in public or being just a tad too close. It was hard to hold back touching the older, he had gotten so used to it in just this one week. The thought of what their new life would bring was almost scary. Scary and exciting.

Kazu sighed as he put down a notebook in the box in front of him, before standing up and turning around. His room was in different states of disarray, a few of his bookshelves were already emptied, with boxes half-filled by books pushed behind the wall. His winter clothes were thrown on the bed, waiting to be sorted through and filled up the lined-up boxes, to make sure they wouldn’t be too heavy if filled with books until the brim. His desk was finally emptied out and he would dismantle it later with his father. Kazu was so used to it and it was perfect for his needs that it was quickly decided to take it with them. They had sat down with their parents to decide which furniture they would buy new - for certain a bed - and what they would take with them.

Kazu looked through some sweatshirts, putting most of them in two boxes, while three went to a bag for throwing out later, before stretching out his back and leaving his room, when his mother called to tell him she brought some milk buns and asked if he wanted tea. Afternoon tea with her sounded just about right and a smile appeared on his face when she ruffled his hair as a greeting.

“How are you getting along?”

“My desk is all packed up,” he said with a sigh as he fell on the sofa and she didn’t need any help.

“That’s good. Mamoru wanted to help you with it right?”

Kazu nodded with a hum. “Papa said that he wants to dismantle it to be able to help put it up again. Toshi pouted, but I am glad.”

She smirked as she joined him on the sofa and handed him a cup of tea. Satoshi loved all kinds of crafts but he was not the most accurate person, so Keiko could tell that Kazu would be worried about his desk being wobbly if he left it to Satoshi. Satoshi had also understood after a few moments that Mamoru actually wanted to help build their own home and putting u furniture was one of the little things he actually could do.

“What about Satoshi’s room?”

Kazu shrugged as he nibbled on his lower lip. Satoshi was still working in the bakery until Friday before leaving there for good. He had a new workplace already lined up, getting wonderful references from the old couple he worked for. But that wouldn’t begin until the start of the next month in three weeks. Enough time to settle in. Especially when Kazu was already in university he would be home which would help both of them get used to their new lives.

“I think I will start with his room tomorrow. I know Toshi plans to do that after work but...”

“But that could be hard on him,” Keiko concluded and Kazu nodded. He would make sure that Satoshi would tell him which parts he would prefer to do on his own and if Satoshi said everything, Kazu would ignore any preferences and do all packing.

“I’m sure you can convince him to do as would be best,” she said with a twinkle in her eyes, making Kazu giggle. “So do you need any help if you now do double the work?”

He thought about it for a while and then nodded. “Maybe you can help me with the clothes? I need to decide which to keep and then put them in the boxes. And I still have books to pack,” he groaned. Maybe he owned too many comics after all. But Satoshi also read them so it was not only his stuff! Satoshi just preferred clear walls for his art to shelves to keep his stuff in.

“Sure thing,” she agreed and he smiled thankfully. They could do it, and packing with his mother would be so much better than alone. At least no stupid thoughts would creep up on him because his mother would probably laugh at him if he mentioned anything. Regardless if it was about what he and Satoshi did or about being sad about leaving home.

“Mama what will you do with our rooms when we are gone?” he asked curiously, sipping his tea.

She shrugged and looked at the ceiling, as she ate one of the pastries she brought, nudging her son to take one of the milk buns. “We’ll change one room - probably Satoshi’s because it is bigger - to a guest room. We need space for you both when you come to visit right?”

Kazu giggled and nodded. “And for Nee-san and her family.” Keiko agreed and watched him eat his bun.

“And your room, we are not so sure. After all, it is the room of my baby boy,” she teased him and he pouted. “We’ll decide later on I guess. Maybe for hobbies or to put stuff in. But we don’t really have a need.”

Kazu nodded in understanding. They would also not be able to keep it as it was as Kazu and Satoshi would take a lot of things with them. But he liked that Satoshi’s room would become a guest room as Kazu loved all the drawings on the walls around. They finished their food and drinks before going back to Kazu’s room to continue with their work.

Chapter Text

“Thank you,” Satoshi said and Kazu could hear that he was smiling. He listened to the low murmur of voices for a moment more before the door was closed and shortly after a car was leaving.

“Finally alone,” Satoshi smiled as he came to their soon-to-be living room where Kazu was lying on the floor. Kazu groaned in answer and Satoshi chuckled as he watched the younger man.

One leg was lying straight while the other was propped up, an arm was over his eyes with the other on top of his stomach. His shirt had ridden up slightly, presenting Satoshi with a view of a sliver of white skin. Satoshi wanted to stroke it, watching goosebumps rising on Kazu’s arms when he would do so just as so many times before. A sight he loved and would never get enough of. The warmth of the pizza box slowly, but surely, burning his fingers reminded him that they had not eaten much since breakfast and it was already getting dark.

Satoshi had just said goodbye to their parents who had offered to go for dinner together, but both Satoshi and Kazu had been too tired. Kazu’s nerves were the reason that neither he nor Satoshi had slept well the night before and both boys had carried more boxes than the adults because that was just what you did as the younger adults.

“Stop staring at me,” Kazu mumbled after a moment of more silence, peeking from under his arm. “Come here and feed me instead. I think I am too tired to move.”

“Aww poor baby,” Satoshi teased, brought out of his thoughts and setting the box down on another box. He was not looking forward to unpacking them all even if he would enjoy making this apartment a real home. Mamoru and Keiko had built as much as they could while the boys had carried the boxes, but of course, nobody had managed to do much more. Their friends had helped back at home putting stuff inside the moving car and would have helped here, but there had not been enough space in the car and neither of them could drive. Next week they would visit either to help or just to see their place.

Satoshi knelt beside Kazu and poked the naked skin, tickling Kazu and chuckling when the boy weakly hit his hand to make him stop. But Satoshi was nothing if not persistent and with a whine Kazu finally sat up, glaring at the grinning Satoshi.

“Come on, you need to sit properly if you want to eat something. I know for a fact that your mother raised you properly. Kazu snorted but couldn’t deny the truth in that statement.

Satoshi opened the pizza box and Kazu almost whined when his stomach grumbled at the smell of it. Normally he preferred other things, but the pizza delivery was the first thing that popped up when they looked earlier. They also had ordered garlic bread and a big salad to share everything so it should be fine.

“Smells good,” he mumbled and Satoshi hummed in agreement as he opened the other boxes, while Kazu looked for some forks and opened their cans of soda.

“Good,” Kazu moaned after the first bite chuckling when Satoshi rolled his eyes and evaded the next hit from the older man as he munched on his slice.

Satoshi shook his head but began eating as well, putting a free arm around the hips of his lover who nestled up against him.

Kazu’s eyes wandered around the living room. The walls were still bare, a few shelves were standing against one wall, waiting to be filled with their books and small trinkets. It wasn’t a home just yet and still, it was theirs. He was happy, very happy right now.

It would take time to make it perfect but Kazu was sure that they would get there faster than he could imagine right now. Satoshi’s art was going to get onto the walls. Kazu’s instruments into a corner of the living room together with a study space.

“What are you thinking about?”

“How happy I am,” Kazu said and smiled. “I am so happy we got this apartment. I wasn’t sure. It’s so perfect even if there are only two rooms. I like the balcony. I like that they just accepted that we are how we are,” he explained.

Satoshi smiled and put a kiss on top of Kazu’s head. He was glad as well. They had been very lucky indeed. Another kiss to Kazu’s temple and he finished the last bit of garlic bread when Kazu shook his head at the silent question. He carefully untangled himself from his lover, ignoring the pout on his face. He picked Kazu up and carried him to their bedroom, which was just as bare as the rest of their home. Only the bed was put together with a mattress and bedding on top of it thanks to their mother. Kazu squealed when Satoshi dropped him on top. Satoshi smirked as he kissed his lips because how could he not? Just to move up again and leave a confused Kazu on the bed.

Satoshi left for a minute, putting out the lights in the living room and came back two glasses and some sparkling wine. “This is from Dad,” he explained when Kazu frowned as to complain that he was not an adult yet. “He said one glass as a celebration is allowed even for you,” he grinned.

Kazu hesitated, but then he nodded, bracing himself on one elbow as Satoshi handed him one glass. With the second the older boy sat beside him, hugging him again. Their glasses made a beautiful sound as the rims touched and Satoshi looked into Kazu’s eyes with a loving smile. “To us and our new beginning,” he whispered and Kazu nodded.

“Yes,” he whispered choked. He liked that very much. And if they finished the rest of the sparkling wine not the way their dad would have thought of there was no need to tell anybody how they spent their first night in their home and why they might’ve slept longer than normal the next day to start their new life together as so much more than just brothers growing up together.