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Kai bursts through his apartment, slamming the door shut. He couldn’t care less about noise complaints right now. He drops his things on the floor before slumping down on his door, his chest heaving. He hasn’t cried this hard in a while. He still can’t wrap his head around tonight’s events.
Taehyun just broke up with him.
Kai thought that it would just be a normal dinner date for the both of them. He had even excitedly worn Taehyun’s favorite sweater. However, upon arriving to the restaurant he felt a weird shift in the air. He had even noticed his boyfriend acting a bit strange but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it.
As they were nearing the end of their meal, Taehyun finally had the guts to blurt it out.
“I’m sorry, Kai. I—I can’t do this anymore.” He had heard him say. Everything was a blur after that, all he could focus on was his boyfriend’s pained face, his heart thumping and breaking in his chest and a sick feeling settling in his stomach.
Kai didn’t even know why Taehyun was breaking up with him. It’s like the moment Taehyun uttered those words, silence fell all around him. He saw people talking, cars pass by and waiters taking orders but he could not hear a single sound. However, he did hear Taehyun mention another person’s name, Beomgyu. And it broke his heart even more.
Kai tried his best to stay composed through the rest of the night. But the moment he got back into his apartment, he just broke down completely. He wrapped his arms around himself, sobbing loudly on his floor. Tears streamed down his face and snot was starting to drip from his nose but he couldn’t care less.
Taehyun was gone and there’s nothing he could do about that. Kai would be lying if he said that he hadn’t thought about begging Taehyun to take him back. But that would be pathethic. Kai didn’t want to seem more pathetic.
Instead, he opts for the only solution: moving on.
He’s trying. Kai’s really trying his best to do it.
They say that time heals you in break ups. Kai thinks that’s a load of bullshit because all he sees around him is Taehyun. It’s been months now and he can still see traces of him everywhere.
When he drinks coffee on his kitchen counter, he remembers Taehyun surprising him with a back hug and neck kisses every single morning. He would always whisper to Kai’s ears how much he loves him and what breakfast he would like Taehyun to cook because Kai can’t cook for himself.
Now, Kai just orders takeout. He still doesn’t know how to cook and even then, all it does is remind him of Taehyun.
When he sits on his sofa watching television, all he thinks about is him and Taehyun cuddling and watching old romance films. Kai likes to watch them and he knows Taehyun doesn’t but he still stays and holds him all through-out the movies. He always falls asleep sometime during the movie and the next day he would wake up magically already on his bed.
Now, when Kai falls asleep watching movies, he wakes up still on the sofa. His back sore from sleeping in the uncomfortable position and his body cold.
As Kai lay in bed, he still hasn’t gotten used to how big the bed really was without another person in it. He checks the clock on his phone. 2:59 am. He sighs, another sleepless night it is.
He wishes the other boy were here. Kai was bigger and taller than Taehyun but he would always be the little spoon. He would grab the other boy’s hands as they stay up late just talking about anything: their dreams, their fears and their future. Taehyun had promised him that he was going to buy them a house far away from the city where it’s quiet and just the two of them.
But now, it was never going to happen.
For the millionth time, he feels his heart shatter. He doesn’t want to let go yet, he feels like their relationship ended on a cliffhanger. There has to be a next part. A continuation, just something that won’t end their story entirely.
Kai makes a rash decision to grab his phone and send the other boy a text message.
Hyuka
Are you still up?
Realizing his mistake, Kai tries his best to delete the message before the other boy can read it in the morning. But then, the text bubble shows that Taehyun is typing something. Kai feels his heart stop. Shit.
Taehyun
Yes, I am. What are you doing still up?
Hyuka
Can I call you?
Taehyun
I don’t know, Kai. Are you sure?
Hyuka
Yes. Please.
Taehyun
Alright.
Kai presses the call button quickly, each beep sending a spike of anxiety up his spine. Why was he doing this? He didn’t know the answer himself.
“Ning? Hello?” He hears Taehyun pick up and answer from the other side. Kai has to cover his mouth as he tries not to sob. He hasn’t heard the other boy’s voice in so long. It felt like a breath of fresh air and also like millions of broken glass got stuck in his lungs.
“T—Tyunnie? Hi. How are you?” He replies shakily.
He hears shuffling from the other side before the other boy answers. “I’m uh doing alright I guess. What are you doing up so late?”
“I couldn’t sleep. How about you?”
“I’m uh helping Beomgyu out with some projects.” Kai feels his blood run cold at the mention of the other boy.
“Oh um that’s great, I wish you goodl—”
Taehyun cuts him off, “Why did you want to call?
Kai bites his lip, he doesn’t know that either. “I—I don’t know. I guess I just… missed hearing your voice.”
“Kai, stop it. It’s been months already. Have you at least tried to move on?”
He’s silent again. He’s tried plenty of times but he just can’t do it. “I did. I just feel like I can’t do it. I just miss you so much, Tyunnie.” He starts sobbing again as he grasps his sheets tighter.
“Kai, I can’t do this with you right now. Please. If you really love me, stop calling or texting me and just try to move on with your life.”
Kai understands. Taehyun’s right. He can’t just keep on terrorizing him who have already clearly moved on.
Kai sniffles into his phone’s receiver, “Can you at least do me a favor? For old time’s sake?”
“What is it?”
Kai’s eyes zone out, looking at the framed picture on his bedside table of him and Taehyun together. “Can you wish me goodnight one last time?”
Taehyun was silent for a while. “Kai, please don’t do th—”
“Can you please just do it? I promise I’ll never bother you ever again.” Kai mutters, his chest rising up and down.
“Fine.”
The line is quiet for a while before Taehyun’s voice finally fills his ears again.
“Goodnight, Kai. I love you.”
“Goodnight, Tyunnie, I love you more.”
The other line falls silent and the call ends.