Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

They all underestimate me.

I am not weak, I'm patient.

/---\}{{:}}{/---\

He’s been lasting longer than usual, Hux mused, lapping seductively at the leaking tip of Pryde’s cock before taking it back in again. He fluttered his lashes, looking up at the man from beneath them, moaning gently and moving his body as if fidgeting with arousal he couldn’t satisfy.

Pryde hummed in satisfaction, his hand buried in Hux’s hair tightening marginally as Hux slowly bobbed along the shaft, swirling his tongue on the head when he pulled to the tip. It wouldn’t be long now, if experience told him anything. And he proved correct when after another few pumps, Pryde’s grip increased and he soon held Hux down deep as he came. Hux hated when Pryde did that. It not only forced him to swallow the old man’s always disgustingly bitter come, but pressed his face into his never kempt pubes. Seriously, what was so hard about a little maintenance? It was common courtesy for God’s sake.

Rather than wipe his mouth as he wanted, Hux licked his lips and fingertips, sucking gently on one or two as he sat back and gazed up at the satisfied bastard.

"Hmm," Pryde intoned again, tucking himself away. "Good work, Armitage." He patted Hux’s cheek in a brief, mildly affectionate manner, though Hux only felt condescension.

"Thank you, sir," he answered demurely.

A faint chime sounded, prompting Pryde to retrieve his sleek phone from his discarded suit jacket. He checked over whatever message arrived but didn’t answer. Instead he slipped the device into his pant pocket then proceeded to smoothly pull on his jacket, doing up the black buttons with practiced ease.

"I apologize that I can’t stay today." Pryde actually sounded a bit sorry, although Hux wasn’t foolish enough to think it was because he cared. Still, he reached out again and touched Hux’s cheek in simultaneous apology and direction, tipping Hux’s chin up to better face him. "I’ll try to come back soon and spend more time with you."

More time with you; Hux wanted to laugh. More like, spend time fucking him.

But, Hux kept his desire suppressed and merely gave a small grin and nod. "Yes, sir."

Pryde assured he had his effects with him and headed for the door, leaving Hux sitting on the soft silver and black rug before the chair the older man had once occupied. He wasn’t even quite at the door when it opened for him, Ren silent and imposing on the other side, palm on the handle and awaiting Pryde’s leave.

Ren always preemptively opened the door for Hux’s departing clients and it was likewise always satisfying to see each and every one being unnerved by that, wondering how on earth Ren knew to do so, along with all the possible implications of such. It was one of the few enjoyments Hux had from these experiences. Even Pryde couldn’t keep his discomfort entirely under wraps in the face of Ren’s unnerving habit, though his was more annoyance and vague unease than it was embarrassment. In fact, Pryde found Ren somewhat fascinating as much as frustrating. More than once he had attempted to hire Ren for his company’s security team, or preferably a personal bodyguard, but Ren declined every time. Pryde gave up fairly early on; Ren’s disinterest patently clear, and he just as obviously not one to be swayed. Ren’s refusals were another thing Hux took pleasure in witnessing. Especially since he was rather peeved at Pryde trying to snatch Ren away—one more addition to the list of torments designed to ruin Hux’s life.

Since he was a young boy, his father’s friends and colleagues had treated Hux like an amusement rather than the son of their superior, rather than a person. He’d been a source of entertainment for the whole lot of them, and his father’s closest men – Enric Pryde, Adair Brooks, Moden Canady, and Edrison Peavey – took particular interest. Even after Brendol’s untimely death they’d continued to use him, treating him like a soft little toy who should be so grateful for their very presence. A toy they were perfectly content sharing so long as they maintained a hold on him.

So share they did, persisting in their old arrangement of toy and master, poor slip of paper Armitage beneath their thumbs, by becoming regular clients no matter his workplace. And Pryde was his most notable client by far. The old bastard likened himself to a savior and guardian to Hux; a guardian who regularly paid to fuck his deceased friend’s son then pat him on the head and promise to see him soon. A man who’d all but sold Hux to this latest job of his—though he’d very begrudgingly admit it was at least a big step up from his last one.

Nevertheless, Pryde and all the rest of those foolish, arrogant fuckers had wrecked Hux’s life from the get go and Hux did not appreciate Pryde attempting to make it worse by stealing away one of the few things in it that Hux considered good. All the plans he’d spent so many years developing, so many years waiting as he built in the shadows, would seem far less satisfying if Ren weren’t a part of them.

With a nod, Pryde said as he passed, "Ren." An acknowledgement and a farewell that Ren didn’t reciprocate—not that he ever did in the first place.

As soon as Pryde was out of sight down the dim hall, Ren stepped smoothly into the room and closed the door behind him while Hux stretched his arms and stood. With Ren’s entrance, so came Hux’s chance to unfold back into himself.

Like usual, Hux headed for his bathroom, pulling out mouthwash to gargle the taste of nasty old bastard out of his mouth.

"His visit was short," Ren commented, the sound of the kitchen door being opened, followed by the freezer. He probably brought something, though Hux had no idea where he’d have been hiding it earlier, let alone what the item’s state would now be if it required freezing. And if he wasn’t hiding it then when did he smuggle said mystery item into his freezer without Hux noticing.

Ignoring his curiosity, Hux hummed in agreement before spitting into the black marble sink, wiping his mouth with a clean hand towel and flipping the light switch off.

"Never a bad thing," Hux answered, retrieving his tablet from the nightstand drawer and switching the screen on. The backlit illumination mirrored the brightening of Hux’s expression as he studied the new batch of incoming data.

Mumbling hurriedly to himself as he read, Hux sensed Ren behind him before he felt the familiar breadth of the man at his back, an arm snaking around his torso and Ren’s breath aside his head. Instinctively Hux tipped his cheek up at the sensation, Ren’s lips already brushing across his skin before the exhalation had completed.

"Sit," Ren said at his ear. Hux continued to mutter, not fully registering Ren’s words nor needing to in this instance, already knowing the larger man would direct them to the sofa as he often did when Hux was preoccupied like this.

With Hux comfortably situated in Ren’s lap, perhaps one of Hux’s favorite places to be, he simultaneously purred and murmured half to himself and half to Ren while Ren went on teasing his skin with light touches of his plush lips and rough fingertips. Hux reclined further in unconscious response, Ren’s hold on him strengthening.

"Pryde hid it better, but he was definitely distracted," Hux said with more intent toward conversation.

"He’s uneasy."

Hux snorted, "that’s what I said."

"And I agree."

With a roll of his eyes, Hux swiped tabs. "Peavey was more obvious. He’s better at brown-nosing and condescension than maintaining a half decent poker face. Though the distraction made him last longer as well, which was a bother. Almost missed my following client because of his stupid dick."

His grumbling was weaned off as Ren mouthed gently at the curve of his neck, Hux tipping his head for him and releasing a soft hum of pleasure when Ren nipped then nuzzled lightly. For a short while more Ren continued his work and gradually Hux’s focus drifted away from the information in front of him in favor of the fire Ren set beneath his skin.

Before Hux had the chance to drop it or become distracted by anything new, Ren easily plucked the tablet from Hux’s loose grip and tossed it aside to where it thumped on the bed, sliding across the pale pink throw and silver embroidered black duvet. Out of reach or mind and forcing Hux’s attention completely to Ren.

"Rude," Hux said, though there was barely a hint of chastisement in the word.

Ren merely smirked, the finger tracing Hux’s jaw now pressing to redirect Hux’s eyes to his. An unfair tactic by the quiet man whose typically masked emotions were like roiling magma beneath a thick, cracked crust; and his dark eyes were those cracks. An intense amber brown gaze that proved to be the most hypnotic thing Hux had ever experienced. Impossible to ignore, drowning even, though he wasn’t adverse to it. Hux had a fairly good idea what was in store for him in those eyes.

"Do you want your treat now or later?" Ren’s thumb swept across Hux’s bottom lip, his tongue following the path without thought.

Smirking as well, Hux shifted in his seat, repositioning himself until he was straddling Ren’s thick thighs, his arms draping over the man’s broad shoulders to lace behind his neck. Another favorite position of his.

"What a stupid question."

Hux tugged playfully at Ren’s hair then leaned forward to meet his waiting lips, the plush collision forcing a pleased hum from his own. Ren licked along the seam, pushing deeper into the kiss as he pulled Hux close.

Really, Hux sucked in a needy breath, Ren’s teeth catching his bottom lip, his own slender fingers tight in the black waves while Ren’s hands hiked up the champagne satin of his lacy camisole. Such a stupid question.

--\{{:}}/--

"Hah – nnngg," Hux sighed with a moan, his bouncing hips rolling slow circles in Ren’s lap, his fingers sliding up the man’s chest, slick and messy, just like Hux, just like the sheets. Just like the once pristine stockings he still wore, thigh high and edged with black lace to match the detailing of his camisole and discarded panties. Ice cream, lube, and sweat dirtied it all, and it was still only their first round. Though the foreplay had been much longer than usual, Ren’s literal treat being Hux’s favorite strawberry swirl ice cream – none of which saw any bowl.

Hux rolled his hips forward again, pushing back with a twist and clench which earned him a low hiss, then lifted up slowly to drop back down and into another bouncing rhythm. While his hands trailed and stroked across Ren’s solid form, tracing scars as he went, the man’s large hands were tight on Hux’s thighs, running up and down the messy silk or gripping the firm flesh whenever he’d buck up to join Hux.

"Mmnn," Hux tipped his head back, biting his lip and simply listening to the sounds of their sex. Ren’s heavy breaths, soft groans and grunts that never failed to unleash a shiver of desire across his heated skin. The slap of Ren’s hips against Hux’s bouncing ass, plunging over and over onto Ren’s cock, deep and full and just satisfying. Hux has had a gratuitously large amount of varied sex throughout his life, but no one and nothing has ever felt satisfying the way Ren did. And hearing the echo of his own sighs and moans and damn near purrs while they fucked was a turn on as well. Perhaps it was narcissistic, but Hux didn’t care.

He was still drowning happily in those sounds when a very different one chimed and broke into the moment. Hux opened his eyes and looked over to where his tablet was forgotten near the edge of the obnoxiously large bed. Hux stared at it with a slow hum and roll of his hips. He really wanted to check, but he also really wanted to continue riding Ren. Looking back to the man, he could read in those eyes that Ren already knew what Hux was going to choose. And Ren was right.

Hux awkwardly leaned over until he could tug it bit by bit with his fingertips and finally catch the tablet up in his hand. In the process he’d slipped off Ren’s cock, a disconnect he quickly remedied, one hand lining Ren up to his eager hole and the other holding the tablet. His lashes fluttered as he sank down, soon restarting an easy pace, grinding and shallowly riding Ren while he checked the tabs.

He hadn’t been looking long when Hux felt Ren running his hands along his thighs, slow and pressing, a finger or two slipping beneath the lacey hems of his stockings. Even without seeing the look in the man’s blackened eyes Hux could sense the question in the touch.

"Things will be ready soon." He swept to the next tab, unable to keep a satisfied grin from curling his lips.

The moment was short-lived as Ren plucked the tablet from Hux’s hold, tossing it aside as he often did to pull Hux from that world and back to reality. In the next second Ren flipped them, one big hand holding up one of Hux’s thighs and the other at his waist.

Leaning close, "say the word," Ren whispered.

A tremor of arousal shook Hux at the sound of Ren’s voice, low and much too seductive. Reaching up, Hux put his hands on either side of Ren’s face, drawing him the rest of the way.

"I know."

His next breath was the kiss they shared, then the thrust Ren made, and again and again, over and over they breathed and moved. When Hux finally pulled them apart, needing more than shallow gasps, Ren took the chance to murmur, "requests?" already seeming to know what was on Hux’s mind, as he often did.

Hux licked his lips, groaning with his eyes locked on Ren’s as the man pushed his thigh closer to his chest, deepening the long, slow draws of Ren’s cock in and out of his slick hole.

"Three tonight," Hux replied after fighting another tremor at the way Ren kept oh so slowly filling him up over and over, inch by inch. Ren hadn’t been able to spend long with him the last few nights, so Hux was feeling pent up. Only sex with Ren seemed to truly satiate his itch.

Ren hummed at his answer, arching a brow and smirking faintly in that way that made Hux want to both smack and kiss him.

"Ambitious."

"Of course," Hux agreed easily, giving in and kissing Ren like that smirk beckoned him to.

"Greedy," Ren breathed when they broke apart, voice huskier from the exchange.

At that Hux couldn’t help but grin darkly, pulling Ren close and pushing into the thrust. They held steady on the cusp of the other’s lips, and Hux sensed the desperate desire urging him to pounce was just as wild beneath Ren’s burning skin.

"Always."

Without another word, nor any need for one, they descended upon each other with fervor, and devoured.

/---\}{{:}}{/---\

It had been a little over three months now and Hux felt he’d finally settled into his ‘new home’ at Canto Bight, one of those stealthy high-end establishments that the debauched wealthy frequented in the shadows. Fancy enough to suit their taste but shady enough to keep them feeling safe from the eyes of their family and peers. The kind of place that offered more than eye candy; and a select few of said eye candy were live-ins. Hux was one of those special employees – Armitage Hux, age twenty seven, nicknamed Starkiller.

Before now, Hux had done essentially the same job, only less shiny, and his apartment had been arranged for him by Enric Pryde, a long time friend and colleague of his late father, a man he’d known since childhood. It sounded nice in theory, but the reality was anything but.

Despite this place offering Hux up to more strangers than before, it was a far cry better. Hux felt more independent here, like some of the noose tethering him to Pryde and the rest of his father’s old pals was thinner, perhaps almost severed if not for their continued patronage.

Tonight he was free of all those bastards and that never ceased to put a bit of bounce in his step. As he turned on the pole, the metal cool against his bare skin, Hux’s eyes inexplicably locked with a stranger’s. Well, not a stranger exactly. Hux hadn’t yet met him and didn’t know his name either, but he’d seen him earlier in the week. The man was a new hire, a bouncer, which Hux would have discovered easily even if his attire weren’t a dead giveaway. He was tall and thick, he radiated imposing, and his gaze was intense. This was the first time Hux had been caught in that gaze, and he wasn’t sure how or why he managed to get drawn out of his work by the brush of a pair of foreign eyes. No matter how deep and magnetic those eyes were.

A few slips of time passed, a few beats of the music thrummed in Hux’s chest before he realized he’d been moving as if he were dancing just for this man. Like he were calling him over, a siren eager to lure his tantalizing prey. As Hux slid down the pole into a wide squat, a passing waiter happened to cross the space between them just right in order to sever their connection. Hux blinked, quickly working it into a flutter and a playful grin down at the still thoroughly mesmerized businessman seated below him.

That was close. Hux had never experienced anything like that; he’d never been distracted from his work, not since he was much younger, and even then it was nothing so absorbing.

Putting the abnormal happenstance aside, Hux continued his dance, steadfastly avoiding the direction he’d first seen the new bouncer; though, in one moment of weakness his gaze flickered past ever so briefly and there was no sign of the solid shadow. However, for the rest of the night, there were times when Hux thought he felt the magnetic weight of that pair of dark eyes.

Eyes he was met with for the second time just two days later when the man was assigned to Hux’s door for the night. He’d learned his name was Kylo Ren, he was new to Canto Bight but not to this type of work—and the actual details behind that no one seemed to know, which irked Hux. He preferred to know all he could about those around him, yet in spite of that he couldn’t bring himself to press.

That night, as Hux bid goodbye to his client, the hurrying man in a complicated daze of blissed and intimidated – thanks to Ren –, they were for the first time, alone. The lure of Ren’s eyes pulled Hux’s to him, the effect of his gaze up close much greater. His eyes weren’t a mere brown like Hux had suspected, there was also rich amber, light honey, even flecks of mossy green. They should shine brighter, but somehow there was a deep, churning darkness in them. Not oppressive or cruel, just…deep. Maybe a black hole, and that was why Hux couldn’t avoid looking into them.

They said nothing that night, parting without words, and for many nights after they shared similar experiences. It was unusual, to say the least, for Hux to spare no words for someone. Yet, with Ren, it simply never felt right. It was almost as though Hux was waiting for something, maybe for Ren to initiate. But the way Ren looked at him, it felt less like he wanted to speak and more like he was listening. The sensation was strange, beyond strange really, strange like Ren. And, as bizarre as would be expected given the circumstance, rather than be perturbed or annoyed by this, Hux found it somehow…nice. Comfortable.

Ren evoked the strangest duality of emotions in Hux. Because Ren was just, well… Strange. And it seemed Hux might actually like strange.

--\{{:}}/--

Again Hux fought not to grimace at the overbearing customer presently up in his face and testing his patience. Brandishing his best smile while likewise acting out his most accommodating personality, his attempts to dissuade the man were proving interminable and difficult.

He was only dancing tonight, but this man simply wasn’t getting the concept of ‘no’ through his thick damn skull. It was clear he was the sort of high-powered businessman who no one said, let alone had the audacity to say no to, someone who could flash his money and acquire whatever he wished for. If it had been yesterday or tomorrow, then he wouldn’t be wrong, Hux supposed. But it wasn’t yesterday or tomorrow, it was today, and today Hux wasn’t fucking anyone.

So fuck off, Hux still couldn’t say, not even with body language.

Management especially disliked the dancers being rude to customers or doing anything that might deter potential regulars from returning—and spending every last frivolous dime. If a person was truly problematic, that’s what the bouncers were for. Never put the dancers in a negative light, not even by their own missteps. Typically if there were an issue, you were recommended to signal a bouncer to come over rather than deal with it yourself. But Hux hated asking for assistance, and he didn’t usually require it to begin with, which made this predicament all the more frustrating.

It was getting to the point where Hux was wondering if he was about to piss off a possible client and his employers all in one or get fucked, plain and simple. In fact it was a mere thread keeping his sanity back as he maneuvered the man’s groping hand away from his crotch for the fourth time when the unexpected happened.

Ren appeared behind him. Hux couldn’t see him, didn’t hear him, but he knew it was Ren at his back and that it was Ren who his customer was craning his neck up to see. He could easily picture the stance Ren took. His arms crossed in that way that made his biceps look just impossible, even more so than his tight, short-sleeved black shirt did. Looking down his long nose, those deep eyes of his not quite glaring, those plush lips of his not quite frowning, and yet the sensation that he was displeased would be evident like a near suffocating pressure. Hux had seen it worked on others, though he’d never before been one in need of Ren’s prowess.

As his customer scampered away with awkward smiles and goodnights, which Hux did his best to reciprocate as if he actually desired his return, Hux could swear he felt when Ren was no longer in ‘bouncer mode.’ With the moment passed, even despite being begrudgingly thankful, Hux still didn’t want to give in to the fact he’d needed assistance.

"I didn’t ask for your help." He wasn’t facing Ren, but he felt his eyes.

"You’re welcome."

"I’m not thanking you." Hux did look over and up then, drawn in by his voice, wanting to see it matched to the face it came with. Rich and low, a little different, a little mesmeric, it suited him well.

Ren flashed a faint smirk at his words. "You’re welcome." He lingered a second longer before turning and walking away, back into the glittering sea of Canto Bight.

Hux huffed, annoyed at losing the last word, but he was truly at a loss for how he could have devised one. It was brief, and it was simple, but these were the first words they’d shared since their eyes met a month ago. And as brief and simple and peculiarly familiar for a first exchange, it seemed ridiculously fitting. It didn’t flow like the dialogue of strangers nor acquaintances, but something much closer, maybe friends, maybe something else. Either way, it was undeniable that Ren was more than just one of the bouncers to Hux.

The idea of anyone meaning anything positive to him was an uncomfortable realization, and no amount of rethinking could change that.

--\{{:}}/--

The day was done, the place was closed, and Hux could finally get away from mister grabby hands and his atrocious onion breath. Hux wrinkled his nose at the memory. The urge to marinate in the lush-bombed waters of his spacious, two-person tub was stronger than usual tonight. Or this morning. Whatever. The point being he wanted a nice hot bath.

Hux gave a subtle nod toward a pair of fellow dancers, twins, packing up their stuff and preparing to leave after their own last private dance of the night. According to Hux’s info, they had a string of sugar daddies and mommas alike, all too desperate for the pair to care that they weren’t the only ones partaking of the twins’ services. Also their incestuous relationship might go deeper than what was displayed on the job; he had a strong belief in the rumor’s veracity, but even Hux had been having issues getting hard truth on that. They were a very clever pair of beauties, unsurprisingly.

Not unlike most closing nights when they’d collide, the twins gave him a sensuous look in response to his nod.

"Our door is always open, Armi."

"I promise it’d be worth it."

Hux didn’t bother to roll his eyes, used to the flirting and just as much sure that they were teasing as they were serious. That being, an equal amount.

"Goodnight, thing one and thing two." Hux gave them a sarcastic wave of his shoe-laden hand while taking a sip of the expensive liquor held in the other.

The pair, actually nicknamed The Muses, giggled at his admittedly corny response, but it was late and he wanted to scrub clean and check his portfolios. Besides, it was fitting, nearly as fitting as Muses.

"See you Thursday," they both waved; Hux hummed softly but didn’t bother reciprocating and merely continued on.

He didn’t get far down the first hall that led to the apartments when he picked up on an intense voice having what sounded to be an argument. It was too quiet to really make anything out, but the very male baritone was clearly angry and it unfortunately ended too soon for Hux to take advantage of the chance to eavesdrop. As he reached the small alcove at the bend of the two halls where the voice originated, he found himself coming upon Ren right as the typically quiet, albeit imposing man, exhaled a resounding growl and harshly threw his phone at the wall, certainly breaking it. To follow it up, Ren’s subsequent answer to damaging his property was to crush his fist into the wall as well. Luckily not as hard as he’d thrown the phone.

That had certainly been the greatest display of emotion Hux had ever witnessed from Ren. Not that he suspected Ren didn’t have them, he was quite sure he did; someone who radiated as much presence as Ren had to have a bevy of potent emotions swirling around in that big body. Ren simply never seemed to show much of them. At least none that Hux or anyone at Canto Bight had ever seen.

It took the duration of several long, aggravated pants, Ren’s heaving breaths intriguing Hux more than it should, before Ren finally noticed Hux had stumbled upon him at such a…delicate time. Surprisingly, so surprisingly, Ren actually appeared vaguely embarrassed, and it was noticeable. Nonetheless, for the most part he seemed to be simply fuming and annoyed. Still, it was odd, the reveal of such an innocent discomfort coming forth openly amongst an otherwise well-suppressed magma of anger that coiled throughout Ren like a subtle tremor.

In spite of all the drama Hux had apparently walked right into, he merely stayed where he was. Both of them stood, facing one another, saying nothing, all the while Ren looked to be gradually calming in the process of this nothingness.

Most people would probably attempt to comment on it, try to help or maybe even antagonize, but as much as Hux enjoyed a good argument, he didn’t comment or ask what it was about. Hux knew very well how it felt to be that upset and not want to talk. Ren didn’t strike him as a sharer any more than Hux was.

Instead Hux raised the bottle in his hand and asked, "want a drink?"

Ren tipped his head slightly, eyeing Hux then it, then Hux again.

"What is it?"

Hux looked at the bottle with marginally greater scrutiny. He honestly hadn’t concerned himself with checking the label when he’d initially opened it, and even now he didn’t bother to read the fancy script. He truly doubted Ren cared either.

"No idea. But it’s expensive, good, and courtesy of someone else’s money."

He gave Hux another long look before huffing out what had to be a laugh, one of those big hands coming up to run through his thick hair, shaking it out as he released a lengthy sigh.

"Sounds about right."

Hux closed the last couple paces separating them and handed Ren the bottle.

The both of them ended up resting on the floor and propped against the wall, passing the bottle between them, sharing moments of silence and a few of words. Either way was comfortable. Even sitting on the tightly woven crimson carpet in a risqué mockery of a general’s outfit.

In the span of their time, Hux learned the phone call was family related and that Ren had a less than great and rather complicated relationship with them. And while Ren was better at controlling it now than in his earlier youth, he had a history of anger management troubles and his family tended to bring out the worst in him with regard to that. Hux didn’t probe or interject as the man revealed these little pieces that made up the Kylo Ren he knew. He understood family issues on a painfully intimate level, and especially so the chaos of emotions family could bring out. Not to mention what they could do to a person in the long run. Neither of them elaborated. Ren said only what he’d say, and Hux didn’t impose his own personal problems into Ren’s chance to unwind.

By the time they finally got up to leave, their sides had been lined up and almost pressed together. Ren walked Hux to his door, which Hux assured him wasn’t necessary and to just go home already, but Ren did it all the same.

At the threshold, Hux felt overcome with a bizarre convention he’d never experienced and never participated in. Sorry. Thank You. Good Night. Blegh. He didn’t want it and to give in would surely make them both uncomfortable.

So instead Hux looked back over his shoulder, purposefully affecting a playful pose.

"If I’m hungover tomorrow, I’m holding you accountable."

Ren blinked, the surprise seemed so there in that strange open space that hid amongst his otherwise hard mask, but it was fleeting and gone in another blink.

"Don’t expect much," Ren smirked lightly, turning and heading off down the hall.

Hux couldn’t help but watch, and he absolutely couldn’t help but gape just a little when he heard Ren finish his remark with,

"Armitage."

That was the first time Ren had used his name in the three months since they first locked eyes.

--\{{:}}/--

Why why why was this happening? Why the fuck wouldn’t it stop?

Tears, goddamn tears were painting his cheeks, and even if there was only fury in his expression and behind the faint tremors of his limbs, not a hiccup or whine to make this actual crying, it didn’t change the fact that there were real, traitorous, humiliating tears coming from his eyes. It wasn’t as long ago as he’d have liked, but it had certainly been several years since this last occurred and he’d rather it had stayed that way.

Even though Hux knew, broadly, what must have set off the waterworks, he felt it were just as inexplicable. Hux didn’t cry. He wasn’t some weak little boy.

This was hardly the first time he’d had visits from Canady, Peavey, Brooks, and Pryde all in one day. It was hardly the first time he’d been woken more than once by memories bleeding into his nightmares. It was hardly the first time he’d had handsy customers on the dance floor, and it was hardly the first time he’d fantasized about breaking fingers and crushing dicks during private dances.

But.

It was the first time he’d had them all convene into one headache filled day. And it was the first time his last private dance of the night had looked disturbingly similar to his deceased father. His esteemed guest about as much a bastard as Brendol. Odd as it was to find anything about that man to be thankful for, Hux, for perhaps the first time in his twenty seven years, found himself appreciative of the fact that of all the abuse Brendol had subjected him to, never once had he partook of his friends’ sexual assaults on young Armitage.

Hux felt more than heard the deprecating laugh come past his lips, tears slicking the lilac rouge coloring them. He was so furious his emotions had round the bend right back to humor.

Of course this was the perfect moment for Ren to decide to enter. He didn’t come every day, especially if he hadn’t been assigned to Hux at all. So it only made sense today would be one when Ren would choose to appear; what would Hux’s life be if he lacked a witness to his shame.

"What do you want, Ren?" Hux wasn’t facing the door, didn’t see Ren move, but he knew he did.

"Nothing."

Hux scowled, turning to glare at the man. "Then leave."

Instead, Ren dropped down onto the couch, a common occurrence for him, and the way he did said ‘no’ more than any vocal response could have. When Ren perched his ankle on his opposite knee, one thick arm stretching out along the back of the couch, Hux only felt his frustration and ire deepen.

As childish as it was, Hux spun away from Ren, intent on ignoring him as he struggled with his uncooperative tear ducts. Ren proceeded to make this difficult without even trying, something he excelled at. The weight of Ren’s eyes on him was as powerful as ever, and his continued silence made it all the more difficult to put him out of his mind. Ren had a way of making his presence known with an intensity as great as Hux’s ability to make himself undetectable. Though Ren’s seemed innate, which frankly, Hux found unfair.

Before Hux had even screened the thought to do so, he was sitting on the couch beside Ren, closer than he should expect of himself considering his annoyance with the man, and even leaning toward him. But he still wasn’t facing Ren, as if that made much difference.

At some point in his swirling thoughts and slowing tears, Hux had reclined against Ren’s side, his still stocking-covered legs tucked up to his chest. The arm Ren had around the back of the couch and thusly Hux felt closer at one point, a tickle of something upsetting a strand of his hair happened once or twice as well. Hux didn’t dwell on them, and he didn’t withdraw. In fact, he settled deeper at Ren’s side, and there was a moment where his tired eyes might have slipped shut.

After that night, Ren had somehow practically become his personal bouncer. Hux couldn’t fathom how he convinced Krennic to agree to that, but he was also aware Ren could have a disturbingly flawless ability to charm his way into anything he wanted. Not that charm was ever a word Hux would typically use in conjunction with Kylo Ren.

Still, Ren swayed Krennic, and from then on it was Ren that watched over his workdays. Hux wanted to hate it, that it should feel like a handout, coddling Hux most certainly did not need.

But he didn’t hate it.

Actually, sensing Ren’s presence regularly in the vicinity had the reverse effect; rather than babysat, Hux felt oddly powerful. He’d never say it, and he’d certainly never thank Ren. Yet, predictably, Ren seemed to understand his gratitude all the same.

--\{{:}}/--

Canto Bight didn’t open until the early evening, so Hux would occasionally take advantage of the free afternoons to head out to the store for whatever he might need to restock at the time. Today he’d gotten a small collection of groceries, mostly perishables, and a cheap shirt with a cute ginger kitten on it just because he could.

During the daylight hours Hux never saw Ren, so it was a bizarre surprise when he caught sight of the man in a nearby alley, an adjacent neighbor to Canto Bight’s own backdoor. It was unexpected to say the least, but perhaps even more so for the person Ren was with; a coarse, splotchy looking man he towered over, one who had Ren’s large hand wrapped around his throat.

Hux had no idea he’d taken a single step let alone gotten so close to the scene until he noticed Ren’s dark eye slide toward him, inadvertently alerting the other man to his presence as well. Thus far, he’d hardly acknowledged the stranger’s existence, but now that their simultaneous attentions had collided Hux easily noted how the man’s gaze was lingering longer than necessary. It was annoying, but a look he was very familiar with. However, before Hux had the opportunity to comment, Ren shifted his stance, blocking the man’s line of sight. The move made it seem as though Ren was both hiding him and cutting him out of the situation, especially when he spoke up, continuing an apparent conversation as if Hux had never intruded.

"The answer’s still no."

The man frowned, anger in the curl of his chapped lips. "Then stop sending your boys after us," his voice was husky, but clear enough. Until hearing it Hux hadn’t realized Ren’s grip on the stranger’s neck was actually applying force. Looking at Ren’s arm, the bulge of muscle in his bicep and forearm, the tight intensity of his hand, it was clear he was not only putting pressure into the hold but also restraining himself from exerting more.

"Tell him to keep his in check and I won’t have to."

At that Ren shoved the man backward, releasing him in the process. He stumbled briefly, a hand going to brush at his bruised neck. In the moment the two appeared to share a look of agreement, although Hux could hardly know for sure given that this type of situation was a first for him. A flicker of the man’s pale eyes to Hux earned him a glare that Hux hoped burned as much as his throat. It also apparently provoked a look of some sort from Ren, which Hux was unfortunately unable to see, that caused the man to visibly flinch. He didn’t wait long after that to run off.

Once the man was out of sight, Ren finally turned around.

Hux observed him with a searching gaze; Ren didn’t seem any different than usual, though his eyes were perhaps a bit darker and more guarded.

Something in him he couldn’t name or stop had Hux saying, "see you inside." And it resounded in such a strangely conspicuous way, like the true words were, ‘are you okay?’ ‘is everything alright?’ In all honesty, he wasn’t entirely sure what he meant, but he couldn’t deny the obvious implication.

In the five or so months since meeting they’d never really asked one another how they were or if they were alright whenever they happened to catch the other in a troubled, aggravated, or less than savory state. Even with this one being on a more serious level than any other they’d inadvertently shared before, Hux still couldn’t bring himself to ask, and yet neither could he stop himself from saying something.

Ren grinned faintly in response, a rare expression and one Hux had only ever seen directed toward himself. Each and every time it would elicit a weird, almost high sensation in the center of Hux’s chest, like he was…special, or something equally absurd.

Rather than answer, Ren managed to slip the couple bags from Hux’s hand and led him across the street to the back entrance of Canto Bight.

"I can carry my own things."

"I know."

Hux huffed but followed, falling in step with Ren who seemed to be set on walking him to his room. Neither one of them spoke about what just happened, nor did Hux plan to, no matter how strong his interest. Ren was perhaps the only person in the world that Hux had truly struggled to get info on. In fact, for what little he had he might as well have nothing at all, and that proved to be as exasperating as it was intriguing.

At the gold-trimmed black door, even though Ren handed off the bags he still followed Hux in. His big silent footsteps trailed him past the threshold and all the way to the hidden kitchen, the main room itself appearing like a fancy hotel suite rather than an actual apartment.

Ren helped himself to an apple from the shallow, square bowl on the island counter while Hux busied himself with the groceries.

"Cameron’s my first dance tonight," Hux said casually, putting the prior events aside, lest he become too curious.

Predictably, Ren frowned, eyeing the already half-eaten apple in his large grip.

"He’s handsy."

"I can handle him."

"I’ll handle him."

Hux rolled his eyes, tucking away the canvas bags before easily catching the apple Ren tossed to him.

"You’re frustrating." Hux pressed his hip into the marble edge of the island, mirroring Ren who leaned along the doorframe. A tiny smirk tugged at Hux’s lips despite his still very true words.

Ren smirked back. "I know," then took another bite.

--\{{:}}/--

"I’ll contact you when I’m next available," Peavey said, his tone a tad haughty with a trace of impatient anticipation. Peavey liked to think himself justifiably arrogant, and he especially liked Hux affecting arrogance only to then put him in his place, to show Hux he wasn’t as important as he thought himself. It irked Hux even more than Brooks, who favored submission and subservience.

Still, Hux smiled. "I look forward to it."

Peavey grinned, more to himself than in return, the kind of grin one wore as if he’d won something. God knows what, Hux fought not to roll his eyes. Besides, his favorite part of the night was coming.

Right on cue, just before they’d reached the door, Ren was already opening it for them. As he was every time, Ren remained quiet and was pleasantly off putting to Peavey, though the older man tried not to show his discomfort. Of course it was painfully obvious to Hux. Of the four self-appointed heads of his late father’s company, Peavey was the most visibly uneasy around Ren. And it was always satisfying to see, particularly on nights when he was less than happy with his current situation, such as tonight.

As soon as the man rounded the corner, Hux let his front fall. A grimace quickly overtook his previous keen expression as he turned back to the room with a heavy sigh, not bothering to close the door knowing Ren would follow.

"They’ve been active this month." Hux had retrieved his tablet from the sidetable drawer, already scanning the information laid out before him, rubbing at his brow. "It’s bothersome."

Hux did his best to avoid gnawing at his nails, loathe to upset the fresh manicure and mahogany red polish from something as trivial as mild anxiety. He dropped onto the ice blue, soft leather sofa beside Ren who’d already taken up his usual place, reclining with a heavy sigh against the large man as he changed tabs with a swift flick of his finger. Comfortable and busying himself with the content before him, Hux hummed unconsciously when Ren’s fingers brushed his bare upper arm. Annoyed but not disheartened at what he was seeing, Hux eventually flipped off the screen and let his head fall back onto Ren’s shoulder, staring up at the unnecessarily ornate white stucco ceiling.

"You want me to check things?"

It was something Ren had offered more than once, and something Hux declined every time. He’d never taken help in the past, and no matter the person he wasn’t about to do so now. Not that he didn’t appreciate the continued gesture. Nothing about Ren hinted to him being the sort of man to give anything freely or if he didn’t wish to. It was another thing about Ren that made Hux feel oddly powerful rather than pathetic.

"No," Hux sighed sharply, "things are still under control."

Ren hummed, neither in agreement nor denial of Hux’s words.

Another several minutes of easy silence slipped by before Hux asked into the quiet, "you staying to eat?"

"Obviously."

Hux snorted, smacking a hand on Ren’s solid chest, sensing the man’s faint smile and dark eyes on him.

--\{{:}}/--

Ever since Ren’s routine of periodically sharing what was essentially an early morning dinner began, Hux had needed to keep a lot more food around, and restock on a regular basis as well. Plus there was a vaguely boastful, impossible to ignore part of him that strove to create more attractive and complicated dishes than the usual crap he’d make when eating alone. Because of this Hux had taken to frequenting the store in both his downtime and days off. And today was one of those days, Canto Bight closed and his kitchen a little too close to scant for his liking.

After the day he’d happened upon seeing Ren in that alley, Hux had picked up the habit of checking whenever on his way home, curious to see if the man was there. Occasionally Hux would catch shadow-cast views of Ren with another person or two, but he tried never to interfere despite his interest. Today was no different. Like usual his eyes wandered over to the adjacent alley, his feet moving to the backdoor while his head turned just enough to see. However, this time something seemed very different.

On the ground of the long, narrow space were motionless men, and the two still standing faced Ren, whose broad back was to Hux. What happened next was almost like a movie. In a strange too slow too fast breath of a moment, he watched Ren take down one man while the other lifted their arm followed by a dart-quick muffled sound. Ren jerked like receiving a punch, folding a little at the waist but didn’t fall; instead he lunged for the guy much faster than Hux would expect someone of Ren’s size to move. The guy shouted briefly, falling with a few struggling gasps then crawling along the ground to his feet as he skittered away. Once he dashed out of sight, Ren dropped to one knee, a hand going to press on his side.

Hux was running before he could think on the action, reaching Ren before he recognized the thumping of his feet on the ground, or the crunch of his knees hitting the pavement.

"Fuck, Ren. Fuck," Hux hissed, his hands scrambling with what to do, watching the gush of blood beneath the press of Ren’s dirtied palm. He was breathing hard but not otherwise voicing any pain; he wasn’t saying anything really. It was the first time since meeting the man that Hux was truly irritated at Ren not talking about his shit.

Covering Ren’s hand with his own, Hux pressed on the wound too, his eyes flickering side to side over the sight of the wet glistening stain overtaking Ren’s black sweater, the equally black jacket singed from the bullet but free of the mess. His mind that usually worked lightning quick was now struggling with what to do, how to handle this sort of situation. He was contemplating on asking Ren when he heard the surprisingly soft sound of someone coming up behind him.

Since the day Hux was first sent to live on his own he’d developed the habit of keeping a blade on him whenever he went out. More experience than he’d like instilling the necessity to always have a weapon near in such dodgy neighborhoods.

Careful not to alert the newcomer, Hux held still, waiting until they were closer, expertly slipping the blade to his palm from where it hid within his jacket sleeve. Exhaling a preparatory breath, he swirled around just in time to catch the palm of the person who hissed sharply while taking an instinctive step back.

Undeterred from the possible threat of a new attacker, Hux glared hard at the woman, holding the dagger out as he maneuvered as best he could in front of Ren without shifting his position too much.

The woman was quite tall and certainly strong if the broad shoulders were anything to go by; she wore an unexpectedly silver jacket keeping him from getting the best view. The most frustrating part was despite holding her palm firmly, she appeared entirely unconcerned by him. The expression only caused Hux’s own to curl into a deeper grimace as his eyes grew harder.

Ren’s opposite hand was suddenly covering the one Hux still held over Ren’s wound.

"She’s with me."

Hux eased marginally, his mind unwilling to look away from an imposing stranger but his everything else powerless to avoid looking to Ren. Until the woman spoke at least, then he turned his head partway back to eye her; the similarity in their accents peeved him a bit.

"Sir, we finished. Clean up is coming. Should I…?"

"Call him," Ren sighed with a nod Hux caught in his periphery.

She inclined her head sharply, "understood," then whipped out a phone with her free hand, the other clenched into a tight, crimson-stained fist, and walked out of earshot.

Hux watched after her, both annoyed and impressed, then finally turned back to Ren once she reached the alley’s far end. There were so many questions running through his mind, but as hard as it was he bit his tongue nonetheless. He had his own secrets he didn’t wish to divulge, no matter the person.

"Ren."

"I’m fine." He was still taking in long, deep breaths; he didn’t seem nearly as affected as someone shot in the side should be. But, that’s Ren.

At Hux’s incredulous brow raise, Ren said, "I’ve got a guy."

His incredulity dropped to a frown, but Hux nodded.

"Someone good," Ren elaborated.

"Of course." Hux still frowned at him.

Ren huffed a chuckle. "Like magic even."

Unable to deny the urge, Hux scoffed, rolling his eyes skyward, and while certainly not amused he found himself struggling to be truly mad. Although a part of him was still furious at Ren being hurt. For some reason, one that hadn’t even occurred to him until now, Hux had never considered the possibility of Ren actually being capable of getting hurt and it shook Hux deeper than he expected.

"It’ll be boring without you around," he said, avoiding any possible subject of concern.

"I won’t be gone long."

Hux flicked his eyes to the wound they both pressed on, then back to Ren’s deep gaze.

"Don’t push yourself. A crumpled bouncer is useless to me."

Like he could read something within the unspoken tangle of Hux’s unease, Ren flashed him a faint smirk. "I’ve had worse."

Holding back the disbelieving hum, Hux suspected Ren was lying, or at least greatly exaggerating. Yet ridiculously he still believed the man, that he’d be fine and return as pristine as usual. And Hux’s confidence proved spot-on when less than a week later Ren returned. To anyone else, not a thing was different, the through and through scars on his torso hidden beneath that typical black shirt just another secret behind the seemingly indestructible brick shithouse that was Kylo Ren.

--\{{:}}/--

Chapter Text

--\{{:}}/--

The walk to his room was steady and casual. The brief conversation with the floor manager acknowledged, feigned illness well wished, and ended without a hint of suspicion.

Hux didn’t burst through the door. He didn’t hurry, he didn’t shout, he strolled with his usual gait across the gold and crimson carpets and polished black laminate, through the two dim halls that led to the live-in apartments, his hand coming up to the curved bullion handle of his own room. He closed the door with typical ease, the momentum of his return taking him forward a few more paces before coming to a stop. And then he proceeded to struggle breathing now that no one was around to see.

The private dance rooms were small, luxurious, and most of all – soundproof. They weren’t for sex; the sophisticated insulation was intended only to keep the music from leaking out and mixing with the other rooms or the rest of the establishment, which had its own playing for the dancers and customers. Each one was meant to be a distinct, secluded little world, just like the hotel-esque apartments where the live-in dancers continued their work on occasion. Appointments had to be made for those interactions, though private dances could and often were arranged on the spot, if customers were interested and had the money. Hux didn’t have nearly as much control over the dance appointments as he did the sex ones, and it was only the bouncers who could interfere if there were real concerns.

Ren wasn’t around tonight, a very rare circumstance, and while Hux had known this, he hadn’t known he would be saddled with such a stubborn customer. For almost the majority of their interaction since Ren’s arrival eight months ago, Hux had never needed to say when he was uncomfortable or annoyed with a client, Ren just knew. Like there was a telepathic wavelength between them. It wasn’t until now that Hux realized how deeply rooted and borderline essential their relationship had become. He’d forgotten how he worked before Ren arrived, so when face-to-face with a client that truly rubbed him the wrong way, nothing ever came from his mouth, not a hint of protest even as they were closed into a soundproof room.

At first, everything seemed fairly routine, the flow of the music inspiring the move of his body, the occasional lascivious comment he pretended to enjoy; an everyday back and forth of teasing. But then the man started getting handsy. The breach of protocol wasn’t that uncommon, and not exactly a deal breaker either, until those groping hands began to wander a bit too much…

Somehow in that little world of pulsing beats and over familiar grasps, Hux lost control of the increasingly troublesome situation faster than he thought possible. It was dangerous; it was maddening, shocking, painful— and yet… He never cried out for help. Probably wouldn’t have regardless of if it could’ve been heard. The silent alarm button was always out of reach, but he didn’t even try for it. Perhaps it was the abruptness of it all, but most likely it was for the plain and simple fact that Hux had never learned how to ask for help—and would surely have been punished for it if he tried. In his world self-reliance was how you survived. It didn’t matter the damage you suffered to keep breathing, trust was foolish and help never came so there was no use wishing for the impossible.

Now, standing alone in his room, arms wrapped tight around himself, lungs anxious to take in air, willpower struggling to fight the tears that simply fell in silent slivers from his eyes, Hux was suffering that damage.

It wasn’t as if he’d never been assaulted before – quite the opposite. This time, however, this time was…different. To some small degree the shock was because it had been so long since the sex wasn’t as consensual as was possible for a prostitute; but, the real blow was that this was the first instance since he was barely a teenager that Hux would have called it rape. This felt like violence. It felt like he was truly held down and split open, made helpless in a way he’d never quite experienced, that he’d never realized he hadn’t actually been back then. In those years Hux had little to no true agency over himself. Yet now, even though he did this job, even though he was still under the thumb of those men, he had what he never did before. He had plans, he was in control, he had as much position and respect as a person of his profession could possess. But today it was like he’d been torn from himself; today that very control had been ripped away and cast aside as if it had been nothing more than a worthless fantasy from the start.

Despite everything he’d endured thus far in his shit show of a life, Hux didn’t think he’d ever become this way if he were to again be faced with similar incidents from his past. And yet here it was, exposing him, raw and ravaged, and he didn’t know how to get himself to stop collapsing. His mind and body weren’t working together the way he wanted, the way he needed them to be.

Still standing there, still trembling, still waiting for something within himself to just stop already, his door practically burst open and without needing sight or sound Hux knew it was Ren. He sensed his large presence filling up the space, his penetrating eyes on his back, the air charged with those strong emotions Ren could never seem to fully quell despite being so tight-lipped and masked about them.

He heard the deep exhale, the long inhale.

"Armitage."

Hux felt Ren’s hesitance as he came up behind him, and before Hux could turn to see him, before he saw Ren and whatever Ren might look like staring at what Hux had unraveled into, the soft words fell off Hux’s tongue.

"Rewrite it."

Ren stopped, his confusion as palpable as his being.

"What?"

Finally Hux turned around, locking his red tearing eyes on Ren, trying desperately to keep them as hard as he needed to be, to feel.

"Rewrite it. Change it." Hux’s lip quivered then, his moment of strength cracking as he stared into Ren’s dark eyes. The amber seemed brighter than usual, his gaze bigger and more open than he’d ever seen Ren wear. "Give me a different memory."

It was quiet for a beat, and Hux could hear the silent, humiliating please in the space between them rather than from his mouth.

Ren soon closed the small gap, setting his familiar warm hands carefully on Hux’s arms.

"Okay," he whispered, sliding those hands up until they were cupping Hux’s face. "Okay."

A sigh so full it was almost painful escaped Hux’s lips when Ren’s touched his, his body’s faint tremors ceasing as he relaxed into Ren’s hold without a thought. It was softer than he’d expected, warmer too, and the press of Ren’s body along his was more comforting than it had any right to be. Nothing about Ren evoked gentle, yet here it was, encompassing Hux like an invisible embrace.

The kiss was too short for Hux’s liking and Ren scooping Hux up into his pleasantly strong arms, carried like a damn princess and gingerly set on the large bed he liked much less, but he didn’t protest the action. After Hux had scooted back toward the tall, upholstered headboard and cluster of pillows, Ren pulled the ornate duvet down to the foot of the bed, then joined Hux on the sheets. Ren knelt at his feet but came no closer, the pair of them simply staring at one another; his dark eyes were a vortex of unspoken words that Hux was sure danced in his own. It was evident Ren had anticipated this outcome as much as Hux – just, not in this way. Neither of them ever imagined this type of situation would be the resulting catalyst to their physical relationship.

Caught in the depths of Ren’s gaze, their eyes remained fixed, no one yet moved, and Hux began to fear the world would close in on him again if Ren didn’t hurry back to keeping it at bay. Deciding he needed to jump-start the action, Hux slid a high-heeled foot to rest against Ren’s thigh, reigniting his attention, and said into the quiet, "yes." He wasn’t entirely sure what he was answering, but something like a question had been in Ren’s eyes. When his sure but gentle hands began divesting Hux of his dance attire, he guessed the question had been ‘can I begin?’ or perhaps even a simple ‘can I touch you?’

It took less time than Hux would have suspected considering Ren’s careful pace, but he was soon stripped and bare before the still clothed man at his feet. There was something close to hunger now in Ren’s eyes, but it was clearly conflicted, particularly whenever he caught on the flush of a bruise staining Hux’s fair skin. The subtle brush of Ren’s fingertips across the largest ones on Hux’s waist caused him to suck in a breath; not in pain, merely a reaction to the touch. Ren hesitated for a moment but he didn’t withdraw, continuing down to caress Hux’s hips and the lean muscle of each thigh.

While Ren remained gentle, he wasn’t shy about pressing forward, his palms slid around to the inside of Hux’s thighs and he spread them open, revealing the most battered part of himself. In all his years, having been exposed countless times, Hux had developed a naturally open nature toward his body, unflustered or concerned. But with Ren now essentially inspecting him, he could feel his cheeks pinken; though thankfully his legs didn’t tremble with the urge to close, not even when he felt Ren’s touch so near his tender hole. Not even when he recognized the disgusting telltale ooze of come escape at the mild pressure.

Hux had done his best to wipe up and dab away what he could after the fucker had left the room, however there was only a small stack of napkins meant for any beverage customers might bring in. He’d felt a little leakage as he’d walked back to his room, marring the thankfully dark purple short-shorts he wore.

For some reason Hux felt this was the most humiliating part of it all, not the marks of his body, the stinging ache of his asshole, nor the chafe of his unspent cock. The evidence of what happened seemed so much more potent in the form of his rapist’s spend inside him, coming out of him, witnessed by the only man Hux had ever actually wanted.

Like he knew, as Ren always seemed to, informed in such a singularly different way than Hux could ever hope to be, Ren’s eyes returned to Hux’s.

"Wait a moment."

Ren slid off the bed and headed for Hux’s bathroom; no light flicked on, just the soft rush of water, and Ren was already returning with a presumably damp washcloth in hand. As he was getting back into position he asked for lube, and for an inexplicable moment Hux struggled to comprehend the words. It was an obvious request, and even as he rolled over to the bedside table to retrieve one of the bottles, it was as though he was actually realizing this was going to happen. And when Ren gently brushed cool, slick fingers against his surely red raw hole, the soft breath he took in was like an answer.

Rather unlike any client who’d wished to prep Hux themself, Ren was slow and careful—too much so for Hux’s liking, regardless of the stinging sensations. He simply wanted it done and over with. He was already past the strange reality hit of them really being here, and now he just wanted Ren inside him, changing everything that happened into another memory entirely. Hux could tell when Ren had finished as best he could because Ren started moving his fingers like he was stretching Hux rather than cleaning. He resisted the urge to snap that he didn’t need it, it’s not like he wasn’t pretty stretched from the encounter, forced as it might have been. However, he bit his tongue, focusing half on the feeling of Ren’s thick fingers and half on the way Ren had started stroking his cock.

Hux surprised himself when he exhaled the tiniest hiss as Ren spread the three fingers he had in Hux, the pain stronger than he’d expected but not something remotely close to a deal breaker. In fact Hux was fairly certain he’d want Ren to do this even if his asshole was torn to shreds; the pain didn’t matter so long as he could bury the memory beneath a new one of Ren. And though he didn’t need it, Ren still stopped both hands at the sound, and for the first time in a while looked up to join Hux’s gaze.

"I’m fine," he said in reply, hopefully reassuringly.

Ren still hesitated, causing Hux to frown.

"Seriously. I’m fine. It’s not like I’m unused to it, so it’s hardly as bad as it could have been."

Ren frowned a little himself at that, but seemed to understand and went back to work.

It was definitely longer than Hux had wanted, and he’d been very close to actually complaining when Ren finally withdrew his fingers, wiping them off on the somewhat messy towel. Despite the length of time, rather than urging Ren right into the main event, he reached out a hand and beckoned the man to him. As soon as he was close enough, Hux grabbed the front of Ren’s shirt and pulled him further until their lips met. The kiss was stronger and more passionate than last time. His hands were beneath Ren’s shirt before the thought crossed his mind, stroking over muscle, his fingers catching the raise of more scars than he’d expected.

His hands had migrated to Ren’s hair by the time Hux withdrew from the kiss, and Ren bit at Hux’s bottom lip like he disagreed.

"Undress," Hux whispered in the gap between them.

Ren dipped down, licking his way back into Hux’s mouth, the pair of them kissing longer, harder, taking a deep breath of the other to avoid parting. Even when Ren started to pull away Hux arched off the bed to follow, dropping back to the mattress only when Ren’s lips truly separated.

It took hardly more than a minute for Ren to undress, and Hux was a little peeved with himself that he wouldn’t have the time to fully appreciate Ren’s body the way a first time should. He did his best to make up for that by running his hands fervently over the exposed skin when Ren returned to crush his lips to Hux’s, his head raising as Ren descended like a magnet connected them. Ren’s own hands seemed just as interested in blind exploration, still gentler than Hux would have preferred, but he was certain there would be other opportunities to indulge all he wanted.

And admittedly Hux wanted to kiss more, especially after Ren had lowered his body to lay along Hux’s, the brush of their cocks together pulling moans from Hux he wouldn’t have expected from himself given the situation. Nor the way he tried to claw closer to Ren, his leg curling against Ren’s hip to force him closer.

But. Hux wanted to progress as well. There was an annoyingly strong chant of pleasepleaseplease filling his mind, however Hux only whispered "more," his nails digging into Ren’s shoulder blades like a punctuation to everything else he couldn’t voice.

Ren nodded faintly in answer, breathing between them as he rolled his hips down. For a moment their eyes joined, and the black intensity of Ren’s gaze sent an honest to God shudder down his spine and straight to his cock. Even his hole clenched a few times.

When Ren moved he didn’t pull back far, one hand reaching over for the lube, coating his shaft faster than any of the slow, careful movements Ren had been progressively losing since they began. He also covered his fingers and pressed them in and around Hux’s hole. It was more lube than typically necessary, but Hux supposed Ren wanted to make it as smooth a fuck as possible. Hux really didn’t care about that, he just wanted Ren inside him already. A desire demonstrated by the way he wound his legs around Ren’s thighs and pulled. He didn’t actually make much progress in moving Ren, the thick beast he was, but the man got the picture.

The press of the tip had Hux breathing in deep, and the slow push in in in, had him tilting his head back along the pillows, his eyes closing tight as he focused on the fullness of Ren finally filling him and not on any stings that radiated. It was more satisfying and pleasant than Hux would have expected from a generous cock filling his previously assaulted ass, but that was a distant thought, especially when Ren bottomed out. Hux opened his eyes, having already sensed the weight of Ren’s; he licked his lip, the anticipation intensifying as they stared, and nodded.

Ren leaned forward, forcing Hux’s hips up in the process, and rolled his own, grinding down with an echoing breath to Hux’s sigh.

Thankfully Hux didn’t have to say anything more to encourage Ren to continue. His thrusts were gradual at first, short then longer and longer until he was going from root to tip easily enough. Hux was already releasing more sighs along with soft moans, particularly when Ren set a steadier pace, pushing Hux’s thighs up somewhere down the road but Hux wasn’t particularly aware of the passage of time. He was just lost in the rhythm and the fullness and the way Ren was somehow able to brush his prostate like he’d already had it memorized.

Hux had reached a point where he would have been completely fine with this going on for hours – his dusky lips parted, eyes half-lidded, and his cock steadily drooling precum onto his belly – when Ren slowed to a stop, maneuvering Hux’s legs from his previous hold and urging them to lock around his waist. Though annoyed, Hux didn’t protest much beyond a frustrated groan in the beginning. And as Ren bent over, Hux’s arms were already stretching out to pull Ren down to his lips.

The longer their eager mouths were connected the stronger the pace became, and whenever they parted Ren would push their bodies closer, rocking his cock deep rather than thrusting. In those moments he would kiss Hux in short bursts over and over as he breathed them in, and Hux always fought to keep them together longer. As his hands pressed along Ren’s back, sometimes reaching up to tangle in his thick hair or drag down the shifting muscles, Ren would slide his hand beneath Hux, pulling him close despite simultaneously grinding or thrusting him down into the mattress. Hux rather liked the juxtaposition. It was as if Ren couldn’t help but want Hux as near as possible, yet still feverishly needed the rhythm of their joining hips.

Eventually it started to feel more like they were trying to devour one another than simply fuck, and it was frustratingly at that moment when Ren again stopped and moved to change position. The fact that doing so this time required Ren pulling out had Hux whining in a very undignified manner, and the startled gasp he made when Ren literally flipped him over and pulled him up to his hands and knees, the man’s earlier gentleness having diminished greatly, was just as humiliating. It should have been galling how that emotion evaporated from his mind the moment Ren was pushing back into him, but he was too engrossed in the return.

They hadn’t been in the renewed pace long when Ren’s grip brushed a bruise and the mild pain almost startled Hux into gasping. It really wasn’t bad; the shock came mostly from the reminder of their presence. He remembered especially the ones that marred his sides when the bastard had gripped his waist and yanked him back and forth like Hux were a damn sex toy rather than a person. Those angered him more than the lighter ones on his hips, or the faint grips on his forearms.

"Ren," Hux managed to say, though the call bled into a moan when Ren shoved deep and rolled his hips.

Hux looked over his shoulder and reached a hand back to seize one of Ren’s where it was currently pressing surprisingly arousing indents into his hip. He tugged a little and Ren seemed to understand as he let Hux drag his hand up until it reached the bruise on his side.

"Bruise me."

Ren frowned for a split second, a quirk of his lips and nose, his fingers contracting lightly on the bruised skin, all as though the request off-put him as much as attracted, and his interest bothered him as well. At another time Hux suspected Ren would rather enjoy the thought of marking him, but it was inflicting damage over an already prevalent injury that seemed to upset his caring intent—even if it had gotten a little off course as they’d progressed closer and closer toward climax.

"Remake them," Hux squeezed Ren’s hand a little harder, "make them yours. Erase him."

Something in that appeal had Ren actually gripping at the slender taper of Hux’s waist, his other hand already on the opposite bruise and doing the same.

Hux couldn’t help a smirk. "Possessive?" It wasn’t really a question, more of a tease, but he made it one nonetheless.

Ren smirked back, darker than his usual and his eyes matched. He pulled out to the tip and thrust back in quick and hard, the wet slap of skin on skin loud in the room; his hands clenched tight and the soft grunt he made was nearly buried in Hux’s forced out ah!

For some reason Hux hadn’t expected Ren to have a possessive side, but now that he’d caught a glimpse of it, it seemed painfully obvious. It was the kind of trait that could prove problematic in the long run considering Hux’s job, however it had the potential to be quite interesting in bed.

A long groan was escaping Hux before he could catch it at the sharp aches radiating from his sides, but the cock in his ass was rather helping to counter that, and the soft noises Ren was making were likewise having a very pleasurable effect on Hux’s arousal. Though he still wanted Ren’s hands at his waist, Hux couldn’t deny wishing he were stroking Hux to the beat of his thrusts. He was achingly hard, his bobbing cock leaking copiously onto the charcoal sheets, and the build of his orgasm was already reaching thigh-trembling level.

"R-ren," Hux moaned, drawn out with an embarrassing mewl at the end.

As if in response, Ren’s mouth was on Hux’s nape, kissing and nipping the skin, dragging his hot tongue across to Hux’s jawline where he nipped again. Ren’s thrusts were faster, growing erratic, and Hux knew Ren was about as close as he was.

"Ren, I’m close—"

His hot breath aside Hux’s head, the slick heat and wet slap of their bodies as they thrust almost wantonly against one another, Ren made no sign of acknowledgement nor answer. One of his hands was soon no longer gripping Hux’s side and had instead migrated to his chest, sliding along the smooth skin as he pushed them closer together.

"Ah-ah!" Hux gasped, his unsteady arms would have dropped him if Ren wasn’t holding him to his chest, and his legs might have given out if Ren’s cock wasn’t pounding him. "Ren-fuck," he was on edge, he was nearly goddamn shaking, his mouth open as he drew in needy gulps of air.

A grunt at Hux’s ear nearly broke him, an exhale and drag of teeth made his lashes flutter, but it was the beckoning whisper of "Armitage," that pushed him over, like a shove forcing a wide-eyed AHH! from him. The following moans Hux couldn’t stop if he wanted, not any more than the way he tried to thrust forward as he came and push back as Ren continued without hesitation.

"AHHhhhhhhh…" his fingers twisted in the sheets, "ohmy– fffuuh– uuhhn-AH!—" Hux’s hands and knees definitely slipped then, Ren’s groan at his ear as he clenched around him had his legs trembling more. For sure, if Ren weren’t holding him, he’d have fallen.

Hux was still riding his high when Ren’s thrusts quickened, his panting at Hux’s ear huskier with the oncoming rush of climax. The moment Ren exhaled a low groan and satisfied grunt to join the now occasional deep beat of his hips against Hux’s ass like something from a fucking wet dream, Hux thought he might actually come again. The way Ren held him so tightly as he slowly pumped his hot seed into him didn’t alleviate that thought much. When the thrusts stopped at last, Ren’s cock buried deep, their hips twitching and their breathing loud, Hux mused on how he couldn’t wait for the day Ren would make him scream. It was an absolutely absurd thought considering the situation, but the keen idea and subsequent anticipation teased his pleasure drunk mind all the same.

By the time their hearts had calmed and their panting less intense, Ren gently pulled out, an ooze of come following, and it was so much more satisfying than the previous time. Unsurprisingly, once Ren moved away, releasing Hux to settle behind him, Hux immediately dropped to his chest, his legs sliding down until Ren caught them.

Hux wasn’t present all that much as Ren cleaned him up and out, he hummed some while Ren fingered him, but that was about the extent. It wasn’t until Ren had Hux move to pull back the sheets, coming under and drawing Hux close again, that he truly seemed to reset. Every part of him had been so deeply focused in the sensations, in Ren, that he’d managed to actually forget what had happened earlier. The ugly event shoved into a corner and overshadowed just as Hux had wanted.

Nevertheless, frustratingly, as fresh and vivid as his time with Ren was, that didn’t truly erase the past. It felt smothered, in a strange way, but still present. Hux shut his eyes tight, thinking intently on what he’d shared with Ren, overlapping the similarities. He moved a hand to his side and pressed hard into the bruise, remembering the firm warmth of Ren’s grip instead of the stranger he wanted buried beneath it.

Ren’s arms encircled Hux, prompting him to open his eyes where he discovered his view was Ren’s chest, the little patch of sparse hair practically nestled between his rather deliciously plump pecs nearly brought a grin to his lips. It wasn’t the sort of chest hair you’d expect from a man with such a luscious supply on his head.

Hux contemplated stroking that nice chest when Ren’s low voice slipped through his reverie.

"Can I take care of it?" The question was soft and unobtrusive in the silence. It was also more open and even uncertain than anything Ren had ever said.

Whenever he spoke, Ren’s manner and tone was always straightforward, never truly asking or needing validation, and on occasion it was as though he simply knew without the need to bother with words at all. But this time Ren sounded apprehensive of the answer, unsure if the offer would be permissible, let alone accepted. Normally it wouldn’t have been. Ren knew Hux’s tacit policy toward help; whenever Ren happened to offer he asked like he already knew it would be denied. Every time. But this, this was different. And as different as Ren’s words were, so was Hux’s answer.

He curled close to Ren and whispered so softly it was barely audible, "yes."

Ren wrapped tighter around him then, pressing his nose and cheek against the crown of Hux’s mussed ginger hair. He said nothing more, but Hux knew it was as good as done. This was the first time Hux had ever accepted assistance from anyone, and though the topic of help was typically unappealing and offensively nostalgic, for once he found he didn’t mind. For once, as painfully unfathomable as it should be, and would have been, a little part of something small in Hux put trust in another person. Trust in Kylo Ren.

Hux burrowed closer against Ren, shutting his eyes and pressing a hand flat to Ren’s chest, just to feel the pulse of his heart. Inexplicably, the thrumming beat felt like his own.

/---\}{{:}}{/---\

The warmth on his skin was comforting, his head pillowed on Ren’s firm chest, a leg entwined with one of Ren’s and an arm around his thick torso. The steady rise and fall of the man’s breathing soothed Hux as much as the warmth he radiated, trying to lull him back to sleep. His eyes fluttered open nonetheless, the bare expanse of Ren before him.

The surprisingly vivid sleep had been a whirlwind of relived memories, the dreams likely brought on by the culmination of his work drawing near. His place in life was so far from what he’d expected, and largely in part because he’d gained Ren.

Back then on that dreadful day when Ren had come to him, answering his unspoken plea and rewriting his trauma, that kiss had been the first they’d shared, that night the first they’d slept together. Of course Hux had thought of it, mulled over it, dreamed of it even, as had Ren, but neither had crossed that line. All the while it nevertheless seemed a forgone conclusion that one day they would.

Hux traced feather-light patterns on Ren’s skin, the memory playing out behind his eyes.

Somewhere amongst the everything that had happened between them that night, they’d clicked into place. Bound up by an unnamable force until there was no longer a beginning or end, no unraveling of the threads that wove them. Ren became a part of him, intrinsic and visceral, and Hux knew it was the same for Ren. They’d never given a voice to any feelings, never murmured honeyed nothings so trite as love. Not then or now. Love was a whimsical absurdity in their world. It was fairytale and fantasy; it was pretty lies whispered into strangers’ ears for a bit of cash and taste of pleasure.

No, what existed between them was more. It was something true and real, with no words to give it form. It simply was, just as they simply were one side of the other. Because even beyond their first union, down that line they’d hesitated to cross, in those moments they’d shared, it became irrevocable, their places. They knew it like the sky was blue, like their blood was red, and how the world was a cruel, cruel place.

Spreading his hand out on Ren’s chest, Hux felt the steady beat of his heart, that heart that was his. Ren is mine, and I am his. This was nothing as cliché as love. It was everything, and it was theirs.

/---\}{{:}}{/---\

{{ Four Years Later }}

Hux particularly enjoyed the way one of Pryde’s glassy blue eyes gave a faint twitch in the wake of Hux’s cleverly veiled yet thusly patently obvious jab toward the older man’s skills. Pryde was already suffering the typical smothered ire from the brief meeting and subsequent orders given by a younger man, one he once subjugated, belittled, and fucked like a personal boy toy. The son of his deceased friend and colleague, now no longer a bitch but the boss, and he the lowly subordinate.

The customary urge to recline in his chair, peak his fingers, and look down his nose at Pryde came over Hux once again, seeing the conflicting emotions in the man’s eyes and held tight behind his thin, near perpetually frowning lips. It was a juvenile impulse he easily dismissed and never indulged; Hux preferred more cunning maneuvers to make them miserable. The satisfaction of demeaning their backward, uninspired nonsense while flaunting his clear superiority was far greater when he did it intelligently. Nothing angered them so much as being beaten at their own game, and without a chance of comeback that wasn’t asinine or futile. Perhaps the truly best part was the sheer fact that there was nothing they could do about it.

After being underestimated and abused his entire life, the day he’d discarded his anonymity and bought out the company, the day he’d finessed his way into the coveted seat at the top, was an accomplishment so immeasurably gratifying it was beyond words. Even more so than sex with Ren, and sex with Ren was amazing. But it would be impossible not to revel in how the men once his father’s friends and Hux’s numerous clients were now his to control. His to dominate.

Each and every one of them thought he was insignificant, weak, that he was the thin slip of paper his father always disparaged him as. Well, Hux was not weak. There was a time when he’d struggled under the weight of that word, when more than once he’d almost succumbed to it. But that time didn’t exist any longer. He wasn’t that boy, though still neither had that boy been weak; not once had he broken and he’d refused to surrender. Armitage Hux was not weak, he was patient. A patience and power he proved in spades.

And now, all the old bastards with their rusted, fat cat crowns: Peavey, Canady, Pryde, even dead as a fucking doornail Brooks, all of them were beneath him, and Hux greatly enjoyed the role reversal.

Concealing his smirk, Hux waved his hand toward the door.

"You’re dismissed."

Pryde stood, one hand giving a quick, subtle tug to straighten his suit jacket, the other held his powered off tablet.

"Sir," he replied accordingly, the reluctance there but carefully constrained.

Hux appreciated the one eighty flip in this as well, having Pryde call him ‘sir’ as opposed to the other way around. Pryde had taken endless pleasure in receiving that title from Hux, so it only seemed fitting that Hux demand it from the older man now that the status quo had changed. However, it was admittedly a bit annoying that Pryde’s reactions were so slight, few and far between. Of the four previous heads, Pryde was infinitely better at controlling himself, and the subtly of his mask only inspired greater subtly in Hux’s tactics. That seemed to irk the man much more than something closer to obvious baiting.

Before Pryde reached the thick, black door it was already opening for him, Ren on the opposite side and as imposing as ever. The interaction was scarcely much different than it had been years ago at Canto Bight.

"Ren," Pryde said in passing, still an acknowledgement and farewell, however unlike the past there was no intrigue in his tone, merely expertly restrained distaste.

Ren did nothing more than blink.

It was a succinct exchange and Pryde hurried away in as dignified and measured a gait as possible for one desperate to escape the vicinity of people he loathed so viciously death wishes were wishlist realities rather than angry whims.

Unfortunately for them and their very real attempts to remove Hux from power, Hux had his own wishlist, and substantially more reliable people to undertake it. Brooks had been dealt with a year into his reign, a sudden massive heart attack – oh no, how dreadful. Obviously Hux would have preferred an explosive shot to the heart rather than what amounted to little more than drip-fed poison. Though there were also sporadic periods of intense, torturous anxiety that was sure to leave no marks whatsoever sprinkled throughout the days leading up to the event, but that didn’t register much higher in terms of being a satisfactory cause of death. Unfortunately no matter his loathing, logic over emotion was crucial when disposing of someone. It was how he’d succeeded so beautifully with his father’s demise, and how he’d continue to do so with every last person on his list. At present, Canady’s death was to occur within the month; Hux’s statements were already prepared.

The arrival of a message from his personal secretary, Mitaka, sounded from his laptop in time with the soft click of Ren shutting the office door after himself. Hux elected to ignore the message for now, instead looking up to find Ren whose gaze he’d already felt.

With Ren’s appearance into the office, so came Hux’s daily shift into his ‘Ren relaxed state,’ eager to join the man who’d already taken up residence on the big leather couch across from him. Pushing back from the sleek, meticulously organized desk, Hux stood with a stretch followed by the removal of his bespoke suit jacket, which he draped across the chair rather than fuss with. His feet were already carrying him to the man before he’d loosened his tie, the red silk easing and top button popping just as he dropped into Ren’s lap with a relieved sigh. As Hux settled, Ren was already handing him his powered-on tablet, another action like second nature to them.

"Pryde seemed to have a bigger stick up his ass than usual," Hux commented with a flick of his finger across the screen.

Ren hummed. "That’s because the latest batch of cameras he installed showed something he wasn’t pleased with."

"Oh?" Hux raised a brow.

"I disabled them," Ren answered the implicit question, slipping the tablet from Hux’s hand to find and display the video.

The file was time-stamped three days ago at around half past midnight, and as was proven by the video itself, that was the night they’d fucked on the wide sofa after an insufferable client gala. The people had been agonizing, the food subpar, and Ren was too damn attractive, catching eyes from every corner. The evening was grating as it was, but strangers sizing up his Ren like they had any right to imagine him left Hux feeling excessively agitated and on the verge of snapping. Like always Ren could read Hux’s discontent, and it pleased him to know Ren had likewise felt irritated with the situation and an apparent equal amount of interest shown toward Hux’s person.

They’d both discovered themselves to be possessive lovers early on in their relationship, so it only made sense that in such trying circumstances as these their jealousy would equate to passionate, claiming sex. One round with clothes, the second without.

Hux snuggled further against Ren. "Oh yes, that was a good night."

Watching the scene, their nude forms pale and glistening, Hux tipped his head in intrigue, rather enthralled by the way Ren’s back and ass and thick thighs were on display with every powerful thrust. The lines of red Hux scratched into that speckled skin, gripping wantonly at the shifting muscles like it took everything in him just to hold on.

"We look good together. How have we never filmed ourselves having sex before?"

Unconsciously, Hux groaned in unison with his past counterpart when video Ren rolled his hips down hard against Hux’s ass.

"We don’t usually put that much thought into things beforehand."

"True."

Ren trailed a finger up Hux’s arm, the expensive fabric doing nothing to impede the goosebumps that followed. "Do you want to?" he breathed at Hux’s ear.

He hummed thoughtfully at the question, biting his lip; his eyes were still fixed on the screen though the weight of Ren’s were certainly on him. The brush of Ren’s lips at his cheek had Hux leaning into the touch, a light kiss pressed into the skin continued across his jawline and up to the soft spot behind his ear.

"The reservation isn’t for another hour."

The statement was a proposition and Hux readily accepted it, turning to join his lips with Ren’s. The lowered tablet came precariously close to falling from Hux’s fingers as they indulged, the sounds of their sex low but still distinct enough in the otherwise quiet of Hux’s office.

"I like the way you think," Hux grinned against Ren’s lips.

"Approving of someone else’s ideas? Shocking."

"Shut up."

Hux haphazardly tossed the tablet onto the dark mahogany coffee table before twisting in place to more appropriately rearrange himself in Ren’s lap; by straddling those thighs he’d been admiring previously and draping his arms around the man’s neck to press a deeper kiss onto Ren’s plush mouth. He joined eagerly, sliding one large hand around Hux’s back to tug the tails of his shirt free while the other worked on the buttons of his waistcoat. For such large fingers, Ren’s hands were quite deft and he was halfway through with the row for Hux’s pale grey dress shirt when Hux buried his hands in Ren’s hair, his own fingers twisting longingly in the dark waves, wanting more and wanting it now.

It was the warm touch of Ren’s palms on his bare chest that finally had Hux break for air. He rested his forehead on Ren’s, enjoying the caress of his strong hands and panting softly while Ren continued pressing feather-light kisses on his parted lips.

"Happy Valentine’s Day," Ren murmured into another peck, "Armitage," and Hux could feel the faint smile that mirrored the gentle squeeze at his waist. A smile he returned as he pushed forward to recapture Ren’s waiting lips.