Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was winter on the Hermitcraft server, and some of the hermits were bundled up in Grian’s now-finished mansion. He had kindly opened it up, allowing any passing hermit inside to hang up their coats and rest by one of the many fireplaces.

In the largest living room, Cleo lay on a sofa with Joe draped over her and Stress on the floor, fingers intertwined. On Stress’s other side, Iskall had a blanket draped over their laps and his head on her shoulder.

Rendog sat directly in front of the fire, drying out after getting his boat capsized on his way over, and he was winning rock-paper-scissors against Impulse and Keralis.

Doc, Cub, Bdubs, and Etho all piled onto the largest armchair, flopped over the armrests and chair-back and layered over each other in a large, snoring pile. While it looked uncomfortable from the outside, all of them were sound asleep.

Xisuma, the tired admin he was, relaxed in the kitchen next to the living room, sipping tea and watching Tango and Scar discuss their wacky bases while sitting at the breakfast bar. Mumbo sat across the table from Xisuma, creating a small Redstone circuit that beeped out melodies.

And Grian, the owner of this cozy home, was not to be found nearby. He had snuck off once everyone was all set with blankets and warm drinks. No one was sure where he went, only that he was a bit short of breath when he said his goodbyes.

“Hey, Mumbo?” The Redstone-worker looked up, meeting the worried eyes of Xisuma. “Have you noticed that Grian has been acting… off?” Mumbo put down his small circuit and stroked his mustache.

“Yes, in fact,” Xisuma’s anxious expression grew. “When the two of us were working at my shop last week, he had to take many breaks to catch his breath. He’s normally so full of energy, so him getting winded so easily was odd. What have you noticed?”

“Well, when I asked him yesterday to collect all the honey from my bees while I was busy, he sounded unwell and said he wasn’t able to.” Xisuma sipped his tea whole making a thoughtful face.

“Do you reckon he’s sick?” Mumbo input, clearing away his little project. “Maybe that’s why he isn’t joining us.”

“If he’s sick, we should go check on him!” Xisuma quietly exclaimed. Mumbo nodded, and the two left the kitchen.

Everyone had fallen asleep at that point, even Scar and Tango were passed out at the table. Mumbo silently woke Iskall, recognizing that Grian had the best relationship with him out of everyone, and would most likely confide in him if something was wrong.

Together, the three trekked through the house until they reached the master bedroom. There, Iskall knocked, and called out, “Hey Grian? You in there, bro?” The three men only heard a loud, shuddering breath in response, and quickly opened the door. The sight that greeted them was, to say the least, shocking and worrying.

Grain lay on the floor, curled up and clutching his chest, tears staining his red cheeks. Just out of reach was an inhaler and a bottle of water was on the table nearby.

Jumping into action, Xisuma knelt by the figure on the floor and held the inhaler to his mouth. Grian took in a deep breath, but coughed it out loudly and grabbed his chest. Mumbo realized this and tried to pull away the red sweater to make sure it wasn’t impacting his breathing. Grain struggled, trying to stop him as tears flooded his eyes, but Iskall was now next to him, holding him still so Mumbo could cut the sweater off with his pocketknife.

Underneath the sweater, Mumbo hesitated at the sight of ACE bandages wrapped tightly around Grian’s chest, and when he reached for them, Grain whimpered. Mumbo quickly cut them away, and Xisuma held the inhaler to Grian just as the short man gasped. Every breath after that sounded more like a sob than a plea for air. Iskall hurriedly motioned for Mumbo to hand over his jacket, and he wrapped it around Grian’s shoulders loosely and closed it. Mumbo was confused as to why, but he understood why when he saw Grian’s chest as it heaved.

The four stayed there quietly, Xisuma holding the inhaler for Grian when he needed it, Iskall tipping small amounts water down his throat, and Mumbo cleaning up the ruined sweater and bandages. Eventually, Grian spoke, breaking the uneasy silence.

“I’m- I’m sor-rry…” He managed to whisper before going into another coughing fit. Xisuma quietly shushed him, letting Iskall give Grian more water.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, okay? Just don’t hide away when you need help, alright?” Grian nodded, leaning further into the admin’s chest.

“Hey, guys, there’s a-“ Joe was cut off when Mumbo pulled him away, giving Xisuma and Iskall an ‘I will get it’ sign. “What’s going on Mumbo?” Joe asked once they were down the hall.

“X, Iskall, and I went to look for Grian and found him struggling to breathe. He had bandages wrapped tightly around his chest, and an inhaler we assume is his was out of reach. Now, what did you need?” Mumbo explained very loosely, not wanting to spill anything in case Grian wanted to keep his secret.

“Oh, Ren and Impulse got into an argument over who won rock-paper-scissors and accidentally woke up Cleo, and now she’s threatening to kill them,” Joe mentioned casually. Mumbo sighed and went downstairs to resolve the argument, ever the peace-keeper.

Finally, with everything all settled again, Mumbo saw Grian walk in, supporting himself on Iskall and with Xisuma nearby. The shortest of them had his arms crossed over his chest whole still clinging to Iskall, but it was obvious to anyone looking at something was different. No one was looking, though, so Grian’s hunched shoulders released a bit of their tension.

Mumbo motioned for them to join him on his sofa, and they all curled up together. Mumbo lay against the armrest, Grian settled at his side and Xisuma against the other sofa arm. Iskall rested on the floor, back against Mumbo’s legs and let Grian make small braids in his hair.

The fireplace crackled, and the hermits drifted into dreamland one by one. Tomorrow, there would be projects to build, monsters to slay, questions to ask, and questions to answer. But tonight, the world was peaceful.

Chapter Text

Grian sat on the roof of Mumbo’s shop, swinging his legs over the edge. He had planned to meet up with Mumbo, Xisuma, and Iskall there that afternoon to discuss the other night. The snow had stopped the day before, leaving the pathways dusted with power and the Mooshrooms with white backs until the sun melted it away. He was bundled up in a few layers of sweaters, but he felt rather self-conscious. The others had confiscated his bandages, so that meant no more flat chest until he could get more. He sighed, watching his breath cool and create foggy tendrils in the air.

“Boo!” Grian yelped when he heard Iskall laugh behind him. He started to chastise his friend as he smacked him over the head with his fist, which only made the bearded man laugh harder.

“Iskall, Grian, please stop fighting!” They heard Xisuma cry out from below, and turned to see him and Mumbo by the shop entrance.

“Hey bros!” Iskall greeted them, his hands still covering his head in case Grian wasn’t done. “Don’t worry, I just scared Grian a bit, this is normal procedure!” Grian nodded in agreement, opting to knock his friend over the head one more time with gusto. “Ow! Haha, anyway,” Iskall leaped down from the shop and gave Grian his hand to help him down.

The latter declined, opting instead to fly up as high as he could and rocket down at an unsuspecting Mumbo, laughing and wheezing when he crashed. Mumbo sat up dazed as Grian took a puff from his inhaler. He now always had it on him, not worried about the other’s reactions. True, he did get scolded by them for being reckless, but that was normal.

The four men traveled to Iskall’s tree base, which was only half of a branch away from being done. They sat on the branch that held what would be the dining room, sitting at the small table Iskall had cobbled together for this meeting.

“Okay, how much do I need to explain?” Grian asked casually, pretending that his heart wasn’t racing at a million miles per hour. The others looked at each other, not sure who’d speak first. Iskall cleared his throat, drawing the attention to himself. He seemed composed, but his facade quickly broke down when he spoke.

“What sane part of you told you that was safe?!” He let worry flood his voice, and used big gestures with his arms. “Like, you have a freaking inhaler dude, some little voice in your head must have realized that what you were doing would harm you!” Grian hung his head and stared at his hands in his lap.

“Another louder voice told me that I would be better off dead than a…, not me.” He couldn’t bring himself to say the word ‘girl’. “So it overpowered any sanity I have. Not like there’s much left anyway.” He tried to laugh, but it sounded more like crying.

“How has this not come up earlier?” Xisuma opened his hands over the table in a questioning gesture. “You’ve been with us since 2018, how could you hide this long?” Grian thought for a moment.

“Well, I only really struggled with my breathing more recently, probably because I wasn’t binding right.” The others could see he wanted to say more but was struggling. Mumbo reached a hand forward gently, and Grian took it and squeezed it. “I… I also kept up appearances by taking birth control to slow my period. It never stopped though, so those times I wasn’t able to help out…” He looked over at Xisuma, who put two and two together as to why Grian sounded unwell the other day.

“Final question from us,” Mumbo rubbed the back of Grian’s hand with his thumb. “Was there some reason you didn’t come out by choice?”

“I-” Grian had to think for a while on this one. “You only knew me as a guy, so I thought, ‘Why would I need to tell them?’”

“That makes sense, bro, but if you told us, we would have done our best to take care of you when you needed it,” Iskall explained. “Plus, we wouldn’t have had to find out at a bad time.” Grian nodded, realizing how stupid he had been.

“If you don’t want to come out to the others, we understand,” Xisuma said quietly, and when Grian met his eyes, they were soft and full of understanding. “But please don’t deny us helping you when we can. If you feel comfortable, I’d recommend going to Stress, False, or Cleo, they’d be able to help with period problems more than us.” Grian was slightly impressed and glad that Xisuma wasn’t afraid to say the word period like it wasn’t the bane of a person’s existence. “Actually,” Xisuma pulled a box out from underneath the table and slid it towards Grian. “We got you a small present to help with what we can.” Grian opened it, then started to tear up when he saw what was inside.

“You guys… you shouldn’t have… how did you…?” A small squeak and all of Grian’s questions tumbled out of his mouth as he held a tight price of fabric shaped like a tank top in his hands.

“Go try it on!” Iskall provided Grian with a small room in the back. He, Mumbo, and Xisuma waited for a few minutes before Grian walked back into the room. He didn’t have his sweater on, only a black binder covering his chest. Now that Grian wasn't wearing the bulky sweater that he always had on, his hips and waist were visibly smaller and curvier. Iskall mentally slapped himself for not realizing earlier why Grian never took off his sweater, no matter the weather.

“It fits perfectly; how did you get my measurements?” Grian asked, still looking down at himself. Xisuma piped up, somehow making a small buzzy sound that made Iskall and Mumbo chuckle.

“The girls had them from when they made everyone Christmas sweaters, so I asked False for her notes and ordered it online!” He explained. Grian couldn’t stop the tears flowing down his face, and he rushed forward to hug his friend. After a few minutes of hugging and some more tears, Mumbo and Iskall left to go get them all some food and retrieve Stress (she was the one Grian trusted not to spill anything), and Xisuma discussed proper binding safety with Grian. The latter was upset he couldn’t wear it all the time but understood when he remembered the inciting incident of this whole situation.

Mumbo and Iskall soon returned with snacks and Stress, who had a red shulker box with her. Mumbo informed Xisuma that they gave her a quick rundown of the situation as Stress moved towards Grian. She pressed the shulker box into Grian’s arms then hugged him with all her might.

“Stress- can’t- breathe!” Grain wheezed out, and once Stress let go, he had to use his inhaler to catch his breath again. “Thanks, hah… what’s this for?” Stress smiled.

“Look inside,” was all she said. Grian looked and smiled when he saw a small note that read ‘Code Red, V4’. “I made these for me (I’m V1), Cleo (V2), and False (V3), then made this extra one just in case. If you ever run out of anything, just shoot me a message and I’ll send replacements.” She also held up a small bottle that held little white pills. “We also all have a bottle of birth control, super helpful when you have a big project and can’t stop for nothing!” Grian laughed lightly at that and hugged her.

“Thank you so much, Stress, you are a lifesaver.” He sighed, and he suddenly felt her tense up. “Stress?”

“Oh shoot, I forgot to put in the Lifesaver gummies!” The boys all laughed as Stress hurried to the door and took off. “Be right back!”