Chapter Text
Ryan starts off the Supernatural season with an easy one. Shane has been away on a short vacation and loathe as Ryan is to admit it, he missed him, so he's feeling merciful. He picks something lighthearted, a little silly, something he himself isn't going to be taking too seriously so Shane won't have to put the effort in to be respectful. Something they can cover from behind their desk on set, and won't have to stay up into the wee hours or trek through old dust. It's a welcome back gift, given without card or comment.
Shane comes in a few minutes late. Across the short distance from the front of the room to the back, he looks too tall for the doorway, just an inch or so larger than life, before he passes into the room and resolves into a normal person. He's fluffy haired and bleary eyed and soft. He folds himself down into the chair next to Ryan, knocking his knees all over the place like he somehow still isn't used to having seven miles of leg.
"Hey," he says. Ryan chews on his lip to keep his grin from getting too big, his heart picking up a beat in excitement that he gets to make Shane laugh in just a matter of minutes. He nods his own greeting in hopes that Shane won't cotton on too quick and Ryan might be able to take him by surprise - although he can't help but tap his folder on the table smugly. He pretends not to notice the narrow-eyed glance Shane gives him as TJ starts to count them in. Feeling dastardly, Ryan does wait until Shane takes his customary sip of coffee before he opens the episode.
"Today on Buzzfeed: Unsolved we will be discussing the legendary Unseelie Court," he introduces, and thrills at the expected choke beside him, "as part of our ongoing investigation into the question - is the supernatural real? So, before we get into it, Shane, do you believe in fairies?" Ryan laughs, feeling accomplished, when Shane shoots him another glare and clears his throat.
"That's a derisive term," he non-answers, and it's Ryan's turn to choke. Of all the things to turn around on him… But Shane gets that sly little tilt to his mouth that he always gets when he's gearing up to pull Ryan's leg until Ryan loses it, when he knows Ryan will never know for sure if he's fucking with him or not.
"I swear to god, Madej, if you say you believe in f-" Ryan can't help but laugh into the camera. Shane is just such an endearingly weird dude. Even though he frustrates Ryan to the point of boiling he's an endless source of entertainment too.
"Maybe I do!" Shane says, leaning back in his chair. His voice has an unusually combative undertone to it. Ryan glances quickly between his friend and Mark and TJ behind the camera, at Devon over by the sound equipment to see if they noticed, but it seems like it was just Ryan. "It makes more sense than ghosts."
"What- How- How can fairies make more sense than ghosts?" Ryan forgets all about Shane's vocal idiosyncrasies at that, and turns fully to face him. Now this. This is bullshit.
"The- the Folk are just people who come to be alive in a different way than human people." Ryan stares at Shane with eyes so wide they feel cold. He truly can't believe this is happening, but Shane is being completely earnest - maybe even defensive. He really believes in fucking fairies. "That absolutely makes more sense than, what, defective death or-"
"I'll give you a defective death," Ryan mutters, past his - justifiable! - shock, and Shane laughs.
"I'm just saying," he adds, gesturing the point. "Life can and will start anywhere, but it flows in one direction."
"Life, uh," Ryan intones, getting in a parody of both Shane and Jeff Goldblum simultaneously, trying to get the show back on track from Shane's typical weirdness, "finds a way."
"Wise words," Shane confirms, pointing into the camera. Ryan laughs, and then flips open his little folder with exaggerated officiancy.
"Well, now that we have confirmed once again that Shane is an insane person," he says with a faux-manic nod to the camera, "let's get into it. There are a lot of different definitions of what fairies actually are, but in this case we are talking about, quote - 'magical creatures with human appearance, small stature, magical powers, and a penchant for trickery' - unquote."
"A little bit presumptuous to think they're all the same height," Shane interjects, and Ryan cuts him an incredulous side-eye.
"What are you, like," he asks, "the one-man fairy defense squad or something?"
"Well," Shane says. "Apparently somebody has to be." And then he tsk s and wags his finger.
"Oh my God," Ryan laughs, rolling his eyes. "Anyway."
Ryan goes on to explain the Scottish folklore he researched for this episode. He covers the benevolent Seelie court and the more dangerous Unseelie court. He defines them with a few choice quotes from a professional folklorist for flavor. At the tail end for easy editing, Shane makes a rude noise and Ryan pauses expectantly.
"'The Court'," Shane repeats dismissively. He rolls his eyes for good measure, subtly exaggerating the gesture for the benefit of the camera, and probably a little bit to be a nuisance to Ryan too. "No. Law and Order, like capitalism, are purely human inventions."
"Law an- Are you an anarchist now?" Ryan laughs out with raised eyebrows. That, at least, is not so much of a surprise, unlike this apparent belief in Tinkerbell. Shane shrugs expansively, his skinny shoulders reaching all the way up to his ears.
"Hey," he says. "If the iron-on patch fits." Ryan barks out a laugh that dwindles into a definite, genuine wheeze. Pretty good one. Ryan moves on then to talk about the supposed monarchs of the two courts; Oberon and Titania of the Seelie, and Mab and Morgan of the Unseelie.
"Lesbians?" Shane asks, enthused.
"Uh, I think Morgan is a guy," Ryan admits, as much as he hates to let the big guy down. "But maybe? Uh, anyway, so, evidence. Frankly, there's not a lot that's reliable-"
"Nothing as credible this time around as the stuff on Underwater Area 51?" Shane wonders pointedly. Ryan glares at him as he takes another sip from his coffee, amused eyebrows raising over the rim of his travel cup.
"Shut up, Shane," Ryan mutters back. "I just mean that most of it is from children, like, explaining why they were late home or messed up their clothes or whatever."
"Excuses, sure," Shane acknowledges with a sideways nod, and finally deigns to let Ryan describe the anecdotes he has compiled. There are some from Ireland, from Wales, from England, and a precious few from the American northeast. There aren't many common denominators to the stories, aside from the fact that the fairies tend to ruin your day. Ryan goes in to the typical legends a little; the kidnappings and changelings and all, the names and the food, although direct sources were a little harder to find for those. Weirdly, Shane stays quiet for that, even when Ryan takes a long pause where he thinks Shane would have a comment. He shifts his weight back and forth at Ryan's side and stares at his coffee cup, turning it around and around in his hands. Ryan tells himself that it's probably nothing, that Shane is probably just still tired from traveling, and it's not anything to do with the content he brought to the table.
"So, now that we've gone over the evidence, uh, I have to say I'm not convinced," Ryan finishes, and finally Shane seems to come back to life.
"Ryan Bergara," he says, shaking his head. "First Bigfoot and now this. You're letting the Boogaras down."
"I think the Boogaras are smarter than to think, you know, Peter Pan and Shakespeare characters are real," Ryan argues.
"Careful now!" Shane shakes his finger again, and Ryan rolls his eyes. He consciously ignores the way Shane's shoulders seem a little tense, knowing it can't have anything to do with this. It's just his own stupid anxiety that's making him even notice.
"Whatever, dude," he says blithely. "I'm not afraid to say it." He faces the camera directly, jokingly confrontational.
"Don't say it!" Shane protests and tugs Ryan's hand down when he raises it to point. He's playing that really convincingly, actually. Maybe he got all tense for the camera. Ryan laughs and relaxes his posture, but he says it anyway.
"Fairies aren't real."
There's a loud scraping noise as Shane's chair scoots a few inches away from Ryan. Ryan has to admit he jumps a little, but the noise was sudden and Shane hadn't telegraphed that he was going to move at all. Ryan gives Shane a hesitant smile as he folds his arms across his chest and puts on a pout, caught off guard that he's taking the bit this far. But Shane looks forward into the camera without so much as a glance at Ryan.
"I don't know if I can be friends with a murderer," he says in a stuffy tone, sticking his nose up. Ryan laughs it off like any other bit but… something is really starting to feel a little off. He makes a mental note to ask Shane if everything is okay after they wrap; if Shane's family is doing good, or if Ryan did anything...
"Alright," he allows for now, while the camera is still rolling, as he slaps his folder shut. "How about a compromise? Whether fairies-"
"Fair Folk," Shane corrects, but Ryan can tell from his voice that he's just being contrary this time. Pain in the ass. He gives the interruption as much acknowledgement as it deserves.
"-are real or not is a mystery that shall remain... Unsolved."