Chapter Text
My eyes opened to sunlight casting heavy shadows in my room. Before heading to the bathroom, I put on a long-sleeved striped shirt and wore a black MCR t-shirt with tears at the edge of the sleeves, tucking it into a pair of faded ripped black high-waisted jeans. My hands grasped my worn black leather messenger bag and I shoved my makeup bag into it. I rushed out the door with my black leather platform boots and chains clacking and clicking against the uneven concrete floors.
I got to school before anyone else, the security guard gave me a weird look as he opened the door for me, eyeing my heavily black and ripped outfit. I pushed the doors to the girl’s bathroom open with a grunt and threw my bag on the floor. I reached down and took my makeup bag out and began covering my face with powders and creams.
After a full face of makeup was done, heavy shadows and darkly lined wings, I could hear students starting to crowd into the school's halls. I pressed my lips painted black down and checked for any stray marks. Finally content with the make-up, I stuffed my makeup bag back into my school bag.
A loud burst of giggles muffled behind the heavy doors alerted me and I began to grab my things more quickly, not wanting to deal with stares and unsaid judgment.
The group of girls who were laughing loudly opened the doors as I reached the door. Their smiles stopped as they stared at me from head to toe. They quickly moved away from
the door as I pushed out.
"What- that's so much black-" a girl said as her friend lightly smacked her in the arm. I heard them giggling behind the closed doors. Narrowing my brows, I speed-walked my way to class.
‘Why do people have to comment on the way other’s dress? It’s not any of their business. Just let people live their lives, damn.’
"Ms. Swan", my biology teacher remarked as I walked into the classroom before the second bell rings. "Would it kill you to lighten up the colors of your clothing?"
Internally groaning, I mumbled a "yeah" and walked quickly to my seat. The kid who was supposed to sit next to me had been out since the school year began, it had been a week and a half now.
I assumed that his family had extended their summer vacation a bit.
"Mr. Cullen had told me that his family would be back soon Ms. Swan, worry not, your lab partner will be back shortly."
I nodded as other students began entering the classroom.
'Cullen.. is that his last name?'
I decided to ask Charlie about when he comes back home from the station.
Class began, I zoned out, watching the sun violently shine onto the concrete pavement, burning the ground and ants.
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"Hey.. Dad", my voice cracked a bit at the word 'dad', I cringed internally. Charlie looked up from his mashed potatoes that I had whipped up quickly, "Yeah?".
"Do you know anything about the Cullens?"
Charlie frowned and put his utensils down. He took a deep breath, "The Cullens are a very nice family and they do so much for our small town." He stopped and took another bite of mashed potatoes. "I know there are folks out here who think they're weird because they.." He trails off and nudged his head towards me.
“Because they dress like me?”
He nodded, “Well not only that, but you know, small town folks are pretty judgmental about things they don’t think as ‘normal’.” He set his spoon down to make air-quote gestures.
"How have I never heard of them before?" I thought half out loud. Charlie shrugged, shoving more spoonfuls of mashed potatoes into his mouth. "Your head is in the clouds half of the time- and they don't really interact with others." He paused and seemed to think for a second, "Except for their oldest boy, Emmett was it?" He asked more to himself than me. "That boy really likes to talk." He laughed. I nod along, not really getting it but wanting to support whatever Charlie was going on about.
"Yeah, that's great.” I say through mouthfuls of mashed potatoes.
I gave him a thumbs up, which he returned with a signature dad-smile.
After dinner, Charlie insisted that he cleaned up so I went up to shower. I turned on ‘Black Parade’ by MCR and mouthed along to the lyrics while showering. After that, I finished my homework and stayed up scrolling through tumblr hashtags and blogs all night.
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Soon the morning came and I woke up with a groan. I swiped at my phone to close the alarm and rolled out of bed, tumbling onto the floor like. Like the day before, Charlie wasn't awake yet. I took a deep breath and breathed in the crisp air. And then I repeated the same routine again.
The rain that was lightly drizzling was now pouring hard, students ran from their cars into the building. From my biology classroom seat I watched teenagers walk through the hall, in no hurry to get to their morning classes. I looked out the windows as the rain pelted down onto the ground, darkening the sky and concrete pavements with gray.
"Ms. Swan, early again I see." My teacher noted. He placed his papers for the class on his table in the front. I slinked down into my seat, pulling my black hoodie over my head.
"Lucky for you", he continued on, "Mr. Cullen will be present in class today."
I perked up at this, he handed me the lab for the day, "I hope you two will get along." The first bell rang and more students began entering the classroom. I watched the double doors, looking for anyone who seemed new. After two minutes and with the last bell nearing, I began to lose hope and almost decided that Banner had finally given into his senile delusions.
Almost. Until he really did walk in.
"Ah Mr. Cullen. Glad to see you alive and well." Banner greeted the boy who walked in nearly late. He seemed to find the statement funny, his pale lips quirked up slightly just before the elderly man had finished his words. He looked down at his black shoes before anyone else seemed to notice. He clapped the boy's back and nodded in my direction, pointing at the black lab table that we would share. "You will sit next to Ms. Swan over there, Ms. Swan please raise your hand."
I complied but as awkwardly as ever, feeling overly self conscious of my laid back outfit choice of a black hoodie over faded black ripped jeans adorned with chains and buckles compared to his stylish one. A black sweater over a collar shirt, with an ornate pin clipped onto one the collars and a thin chain connecting it to the other. It looked old, almost antique. The teen followed Banner's gestures and met my eyes- his were lined with either shadows of staying up far too late to be healthy or with pencil eyeliner- maybe a combination of both.
He made his way over to me- our table and sat down. But he seemed more tense than he was before in the front. I lowered my head and whispered, "Dude.. are you ok?".
He stilled, as if his breath stopped, he managed out a small "Yeah" before turning to face the windows. He tapped his long fingers against the smooth black tables, the cuffs of his monochromatic shirt peeking out his sweater were done inside out, as if buttoned in a rush.
I tapped the table to get his attention but it didn't work. I lightly kicked one of the legs of the table which had also failed to gain his attention. In a huff, I moved my hands over, slightly reaching out to his sleeves. My fingers lightly brushed the skin of his wrist. He snapped his head and turned to face me, grabbing his wrist as if my feather-like touch burned his skin.
'Is this guy deaf? How could he not notice me?'
I pointed to my wrist and he looked warily at his. He finally noticed the messily cuffed links and discreetly fixed it underneath the table. Thinking that he wasn't going to say anything to me, I turned my attention back to Banner. As I listened to him drone on about the unfortunate demise of his pet hamster Mitas, I heard Cullen whisper a "thanks" under his breath. I turned to look at him but he faced the window. Not moving even as the 'lesson' continued on. Discreetly, I watched his silhouette shadowed by the gray light of the pouring clouds.
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Lunch was one of my most favorite and hated periods of the day. While it was a free period, I had to deal with the stares and stifled laughter. The mix of me being the new kid, the divorced police chief’s kid, and my “unique” taste in clothing make a hotline beacon of small town and high school gossip.
"Hey Isabella!" Some random kid shouted from a nearby table, I ignored the call and continued on picking at my plate of gross congealed mac & cheese.
There was one thing different today, stares and the rumors that would normally be focused on me were now directed at a group of teens sitting in the corner of the lunchroom.
They looked as if they came out of a Vogue magazine, decked out in full black with minimal colors, with the exception of the smallest girl, her outfit littered with neon flashy colors
ripped at the hem. Clothing aside, they were beautiful. Sharp jawlines and the same hazel-amber colored eyes.
Cullen was watching me, I just knew it. But every time I moved my eyes to meet his, I'd catch the last milliseconds of him turning away to tune in to his family's conversations.
At some point, the girl decked out in a magenta purple skirt with green fishnet stockings caught my eye instead. Her head snapped in my direction, unfocused- as if seeing something I or anyone else around for that matter, couldn't. After a few seconds, she bursted into a beaming smile and tottered over to my lonesome table. Her siblings seemed confused, varying from mild confusion of the boy sitting next her, to outright horror coming from Cullen himself.
"Alice don't-" He called after her. Alice paid no heed to his command and continued on her mission. She strutted, bright skirt swishing back and forth as she charged her way towards me. A girl leaned over to me from the neighboring table- Jessica I think- whispered nasally into my ear. "That's Alice Cullen, she's like, the weirder one of the Cullens. You know the Cullens? Of course you don't, you're a newbie. They’re a bunch of kids adopted by that new hot doctor and his wife. I heard that she can’t have children” She stared at me bug-eyed as if that was the most scandalous in the world.
“Ugh, sexist small town hive-mind.”
I opened my mouth to call her out on her bullshit until she so rudely interrupted me, “Anyways they’re all weirdos who date each other-ew. They’re all so hot, they should really date someone else.” She smirked smugly, as if wanting me to say ‘Someone like you?’.
When I didn’t, she huffed and continued on her free exposition speech, “Of course Edward's the hottest- if he didn't dress like-" She gave my outfit an obvious look-over, "you."
‘Ugh, not worth the brain cells.’’
I scoffed, giving her the most bored and unemotionally filled stare I could muster up. She cringed and scooted closer to her table and further away from me, making way for Alice to lean in.
"Hey Bella." She says, her voice melodic and clear. People around quieted down, lowering their voices and glancing over. I felt breathless, like walking out into a cold windy street; a sharp force stealing the breath from my lungs. I took a deep breath in, still cautious since she was Cullen's sister. Chances were, that sour attitude could be a familial trait..
She tapped her rainbow-painted nails on the plastic table to an unheard melody. She laughed, "You have classes with Edward right? Biology and Art?"
I nodded, I haven't had Art yet, apparently Cullen shared that class with me too. Hopefully he doesn't sit too close to me.
"He's broody all the time, but he's not a bad guy. He’s just socially awkward and doesn’t know how to talk to people.” She let out a small laugh, “Edward wanted me to tell you that he was sorry for being so rude during bio, he had a bad headache. You know, you two actually have the same taste in music, maybe you guys can go out to buy some new records!"
"How do you-?"
"Oh! Gotta go! Have fun in class Bella!"
"Wait- hold on"
Just as she said my name, the bell rang. How did she know? And my taste in music? What a weird girl..
Art class was next, I looked at my schedule and made my way to the west side of the building. The teacher in the room was shuffling around the closets, she had an old 80s pop song playing in the musty room. I pulled out my phone and plugged in my earbuds, pressing shuffled on my playlist.
I slipped into my assigned seat in front of the old paint-worn easels, 'Helena’ playing loudly against my ears. I lost myself in the music, silently following along with the lyrics. I faintly heard the bells rings and students filling in the room. Ms. Cal chattered excitedly, her voice battling against the booming background of my music. Out of nowhere, the seat next to me that was usually empty, suddenly had someone sitting there. Turning my head around revealed Cullen, sitting there in all his glory. I wondered if we shared any more classes.
“Edward! It’s so finally nice to see you again.” I heard Ms. Cal exclaim as I put away my earbuds. The room was now filled with talkative teenagers, happy to be in a more laid-back class. Without waiting for Cullen’s response, she turned to face the class, still standing in front of the ancient closets.
“Hello class, it’s nice to see you all again. We have a fun assignment today! Since summer break had, unfortunately, recently ended, I thought that it would be a fun project to refresh those summer memories.”
Faintly I could hear someone murmur “I have no summer memories.”
Ms. Cal continued on without stopping, “Our assignment today is to draw out a location, or scene from our summer that you cherish the most! The catch is, you have to draw your partner’s scene, so make sure y’all describe it well. Good luck!” With a loud clap, she signaled the class to begin discussing.
I sighed, before Cullen showed up, I had done all the “partner” projects alone, or with Ms. Cal. Taking a peek at Cullen, I could see him in deep concentration. Was he thinking about his summer experience? Was it something he had done with his family? They seemed pretty close..
Slinking into my comfortable wooden seat, I thought about my summer. It was mostly filled with preparations for my three hour flight to Forks. I had decided to leave earlier in the summer, partially to escape the heat and my mother’s relationship quicker, and to get used to living in such a different environment.
My mom--and Phil-- were never too fond of my “special style”, as my mom so nicely put it. My mom was convinced that I had changed my looks from a sweet girl to a “street rebel” because of her divorce, no matter how hard I tried to convince her otherwise plus the fact that I had always loved the dark, dreary, and deadly far before the split. Phil always nagged me to change into something more.. “Appropriate”. Saying that the boys would never like something as wild as messily chopped hair and ripped stockings. He found my love of chains and buckles to be especially appalling. The constant heat of Phoenix also did wonders to my make up, so I tended to stay inside unless I was forcibly dragged out from the comforts of my bed.
Arriving in Forks felt like finally taking in a breath of fresh air, both figuratively speaking and literally. The clouds were heavy and cast looming shadows over everything. Charlie was worried that the change was too much and that I would start crying and screaming to go back home. But I actually liked it here, Forks' gloomy atmosphere made me feel just at home, plus Charlie never said anything about my taste in clothing and he actively supported my fashion sense, which was a big plus.
Cullen cleared his throat, garnering my attention. He looked as if he wanted to say something, but wasn’t exactly sure how to express it. I remembered Alice’s comments on how socially awkward Cullen was, Dad did say that the Cullens didn’t talk to others much. Deciding to put my own social anxieties aside, I asked, concentrating to not stutter my words, “Do you want to share first or should I?
Seemingly relieved, Cullen gestured to me, “You can go first.” Thinking back to my summer, it felt so hectic, but also like nothing much had happened at the same time. Deciding to spare Cullen of my tragic backstory, I began to describe my first impression of Forks.
“I used to live in Phoenix, Arizona” I said, giving some context, though I could already guess that he knew already considering just how much the people here liked to gossip. “But I moved here during the summer, a few weeks before school started, I guess my most memorable was Char- my dad, driving me into Forks.”
“What.. What was your first impression?” Cullen slowly asked, putting careful thought into every few words he said.
I shrugged, “I’ve been here before when I was a kid, but that was a while ago. I guess my first impression as a permanent home was that.. It seemed pretty gloomy.” I gave him a lopsided smile.
He turned his head, appearing to be really interested in my thoughts. “It’s different from Phoenix. Isn’t it?”
“It’s always sunny in Phoenix, and hot. To be honest…” I took a glance at him again, “I like the gloom here way better.”
He gave me a small smile, and my heart froze just for a second. Damn, he was cute.
“I like the gloom here too.”
I smiled, “There’s a lot more trees here, compared to Phoenix. I never really thought about how different it was here, seeing all the leaves and that rain made me feel…” I trailed off, trying to find the right words to my emotions.
“Like you were in another world?” Cullen offered, I sighed. “Something like that, I knew that I was moving, but I guess it didn’t sink in until then. It felt so..quiet; but not quiet. Instead of cars honking, I could hear something in the woods. Oh. The woods. I forgot the feeling of them, they always felt like there was-”
“Something in them?” Cullen interjected, he covered his mouth and apologized, “Sorry for interrupting.”
“Yeah.. Like there was something hiding in there. I always wanted to go in when I was a kid, but my dad never let me.” I laughed softly.
Cullen lowered his hand, he seemed more relaxed now compared to Biology, maybe his headache was gone now. “There’s something about it that just makes it so..alluring. It feels like an escape to another world..”
We share a small smile over our apparent want for escape, I gestured to Cullen and asked about his summer. He paused and stayed silent for a while, finally deciding on the right words to use.
“My family and I went to Alaska for the summer, to visit our relatives, nothing too interesting. Caught up on the missed times with each other.” His amber eyes soften at the memory, “We played baseball together.” He looked at me, waiting for my reaction.
“Baseball?” I laughed.
His lips quirked up in an amused grin, “In the rain too, Alice swung too hard and hit Emmett straight in the face. Dead center.”
I covered my mouth to stifle the giggles coming out, “Sounds like a lot of fun, you guys seem like a fun bunch.”
“Emmett sure is.”
We decided to start on our pieces, giving each other bits of details as we drew on with old pencils and low quality paints. Cullen asked me what shade of green I thought the leaves should be, I asked him if Emmett was alright after the unfortunate accident, even though I didn’t really need that bit of information for my drawing. He chuckled and said that Emmett was fine, “He had a head made out of steel.” Carlisle was on sight, so anything serious could have been handled by him.
We finished our respective pieces some time before the period ended, making small conversations on music and fashion as we worked. I gave him an uneasy look and a fair warning on my less than stellar artistic skills. He assured me that no art is bad, and things needed practice.
On a count of three, we turned our canvas paper to each other. My breath was taken away as I saw an exact recreation of the entering road to Forks; the gray concrete road darkened with rain, the hauntingly beautiful woods that looked so hollow and yet full of life at the same time. His piece was darkened in tone, giving the greens of nature a more vivid saturation that contrasted with the heavy shadows; it was beautiful.
Cautiously, I glanced at his face, just waiting for him to laugh at my comedic attempt at art. Instead, I was surprised to see him smiling softly at my amateur work. “It feels just like them, Bella.” My heart shook for a bit, it was the first time he had said my name. Which sounded strange, considering just how much we were talking before. Shaking myself out of my stupor and sudden jitteriness, I hastily responded, “It’s not Picasso or anything, but I hope I did Emmett’s face justice..”
Cullen laughed, “It’s exactly like him.” He handed his painting to me, “Here.”
I looked back at him surprised, “You’re giving it to me?”
“Think of it as a welcoming gift.”
I exchanged his piece for mine, “It’s not anything pretty, but I’m sure Alice would get a good laugh out of it.”
He looked at me seriously, but still held that same friendliness in his eyes, “Any art is beautiful, don’t put yourself down like that.”
I nodded, touched, giving him a quiet “Thank you” as the bell rang. Ms. Cal bid the class good-bye and wished everyone a “Happy rest of the day.”
Cullen and I parted ways to our next class and said our good-byes. I walked to my Calculus class with a smile on my face and a painting in my arms.
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“Nice painting.” Charlie commented, as he sipped his glass of ice water from a silly straw, an old joke-buy that he now used un-ironically.
I smiled proudly at the painting, “Cullen drew it for me in Art.”
“Cullen? Which one?”
“Oh, uh, Edward.”
“He’s a nice kid.” Charlie said, giving me a knowing smirk.
I quickly turned back to stare at the painting again, “He really is…” I murmur mostly to myself.
Getting up, I said a quick good-night to Charlie, rushing up to my poster-ridden room. Finding some spot on the wall near my cluttered desk that was clear of miscellaneous emo-rock band posters, I carefully double-taped the back of the painting to my wall. Standing back, I admired my quick work. I slipped out of my day clothes and into my over-sized MCR shirt and shorts.
Curling straight into bed, my thoughts racked with Cullen and his painting. I’d have to figure out a way to really thank him, other than Charlie, I hadn’t felt welcomed in this conservative town.
Not only did he like the same things as me, but he was warm and welcoming. My scrappy drawing really didn’t cut it.
‘Maybe I’ll bake cookies or something, I wonder if he likes chocolate-chip..’
Deciding to think about it more tomorrow, I closed my eyes and hoped to fall asleep quicker.