Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

I.

It was early morning, the sun wasn’t even close to rising. Then again sunrise wouldn’t happen until nearly eight that day. It was a frigid day, crisp snow on the ground, but that didn’t stop the blonde from his morning run. He kept warm with sweatpants and a thick Nutter University hoodie. No one was out around his apartment, which he preferred. He wished that he could be sitting in his chair and reading a book, but this was his reality. It was the only way to keep the weight off.

Nearly an hour later he was locking his bike to the rack in front of the humanities building. His tan coat was buttoned snugly over his blue tartan scarf. His helmet had mussed his blonde curls. A couple of brunette girls, just his age, approached him, schoolbooks in hand. His tan satchel was full of books as well. After greeting each other they went into the building.

“Did you finish the paper?” one of the girls, whose hair was braided, asked.

“Oh, yes. I completed it last night,” the blonde boy replied, his British accent sharp and proper. “I even had time to do some extra cardio.”

“I mean, I finished. It is due today, but I fell asleep proof-reading it. I almost forgot to go to the library and print it this morning.”

“You slept?” the other girl asked. “Jess, I’m so jealous. I’m running on a triple shot of espresso and two energy drinks.”

“Lauren,” the boy scolded. “I told you to stop waiting until the last moment.” Even his chastisement sounded sweet. Lauren always felt so calm when he spoke. “I know. Why don’t we meet up at my flat tonight to study? I’ll read and then we can discuss.”

“Only if you make lemon squares,” Jess joked.

“You two really are out to break my diet.” They took their seats in the lecture hall. “I will make healthy snacks, though.”

At the same moment, or nearly the same moment, a handful of students sat around a lab table, filling out the needed paperwork for the assignment. The four spoke casually, only half concentrating on it. There was only one girl in the whole group and over the past semester she’d merged well into their friendship circle. She kept her hair short and didn’t shy away from her punk goth look.

“So,” she said, changing subjects. “My roommate told me ‘bout a friend a ‘ers last night. Says she’s worried about ‘im and I don’t know what to tell ‘er.”

“What’s the problem?” the blonde guy asked. His hair was messy and spiked at the top with green highlights. He had large black-brown eyes that pointed directly at you when he spoke.

“Well, she thinks he might ‘ave an eating disorder or summin’.”

“Oi, that ain’t good.”

“Guys can get those?” the second guy said. He had dark brown skin and shocking green eyes.

“Why not? So, why she sayin’ that?”

The girl shrugged. “He works out a lot, apparently, and won’t eat much of anythin’ with high calories. She said she didn’t know ‘ow to bring it up, but that she’s real worried.”

The thin red-headed guy looked up from the classwork and adjusted his round glasses. “She likes this guy a lot, huh?”

“Dunno. I think.”

He brushed his long waves behind an ear. “Then she needs to sit down and be honest with him. If he really has an issue then he can get help, and if he doesn’t then she can relax and just ask him out on a date or something,”

She nodded. “Guys, if you don’t ‘ave class, can you come to lunch with me? I’m meetin’ ‘er and one of ‘er other friends. I think another perspective might have more meanin’. ‘Specially if it comes from an actual guy.”

That afternoon the group sat together in the cafeteria. Soon, two brunette girls joined them, one with her hair in braided pigtails.

“Hey Danny, you brought your lab group?”

“Yeah. I thought they might be able to ‘elp with the Azra situation.”

“Jessica?” the other brunette asked.

“Sit down, Lauren. I’ll tell you all about it after Danielle does some introductions.”

Danielle, the punk girl, scratched her short hair. “Jess, these are my friends Tony,” she referred to the lanky ginger, “Hans,” the blonde, “and Liam.”

“Nice to meet you,” Jessica said. “And, are you actually here to help?”

“I am,” Tony said, his Scottish lilt sneaking out. The others just looked on. “I don’t want your boyfriend to get sick.”

Jessica blushed. “He’s not my boyfriend…!”

He looked doubtful. “You want him to be, don’t you?”

“Th-That doesn’t matter…! What matters is his health!”

“I’m sorry. Tell me what’s going on.”

“Well, I don’t know if it counts as an eating disorder or not, which almost worries me more. He exercises multiple times a day, and anytime he has more than half an hour to spare. If it isn’t healthy food he almost seems scared to eat it. When he does he gorges a bit and then looks like he’s going to cry. He’s super fit and thin, but mentions his weight and diet a lot. He’s not happy and it’s super obvious.”

Tony thought for a moment. “I told Danny this earlier today. You need to sit him down and talk to him like you just did to me. It’ll be easier to decide what to do once everyone is on the same page. And you like him, right, so ask him out on a date while you’re at it.”

“He’ll say no,” Lauren said bluntly. Jess nodded in agreement.

“Why do you say that?”

“We… aren’t positive… but…”

“Oh. He’s gay.” Both girls blushed to their ears. “And in the closet. Got it.”

Liam and Hans chuckled. “A fairy, eh?” Liam said.

“Shut it!” Tony barked and they slumped back in their chairs. Tony wrote something on the corner of a sheet of paper and ripped it out, handing it to Jessica. “Here’s my number. I wanna know what happens.”

That night Emily and Jessica went to their friend’s flat to study, like they’d planned. When he answered the door he was shirtless, a towel over his shoulders. His hair was still dripping. He was a specimen. All that working out was doing some good. They didn’t understand how he called himself fat.

As promised there were healthy snacks out on the coffee table, and he had some classical music playing on the stereo. There were water bottles on the floor beneath the coffee table as well. His textbook was already opened to the title page of their new assignment, The Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad.

“Go ahead and make yourselves at home,” he said sweetly. “I just need to finish getting dressed.”

They positioned themselves on the cushy futon. Lauren put a large decorative pillow in her lap and Jessica pulled a fuzzy blanket over her shoulders. She opened up her book-bag and saw it. Danielle must have put it in here when she wasn’t looking: a big bag of assorted mini chocolate bars. She pulled them out and she and Lauren shared a thought, an idea. She plopped them down right in the middle of the coffee table, between the carrots and air-popped popcorn. It’d happened almost the very instant he re-entered the room. He stopped and stared, a look of sad longing in his eyes.

“Sorry,” He chewed his lip, forcing himself to look away from the chocolate. “Can you put those away?” He stole another glance. “Please?”

“Oh. Sorry,” Jess said. Now she felt awful. “I didn’t think it would matter.” She hid them back in her bag.

“Don’t be. I just… I don’t want to be tempted.”

“Actually, I wanted to ask about that.” It was now or never, she guessed.

He sat on the rug across from them. “My diet? What about it?”

“Azra...” she sighed, nervous. She didn’t want to upset him.

“We’re worried about you,” Lauren finally said. “This diet is really extreme and we think you exercise to much.”

“You don’t look happy, even when you fake it.”

He looked to his lap and wrung his hands. “It’s very healthy.”

“Azra.”

“Alright,” he sighed. “You met me second semester, so you don’t know, but I used to be fat. My mother called me portly, but I knew better. I was the fat kid my whole life. I was sick of it, so after Sixth Form, when I was eighteen, I decided I didn’t want that anymore. It took eight months before I reached my goal. Nothing is wrong with slimming. I have to be strict. You see what happens when I’m not. Whenever I cheat it feels like I have to work twice as hard to get the fat off. I just want to look good for once in my life. I want to have confidence in the way I look. I want to date. I want to feel and look like other twenty-year-old blokes. I’m tired and I’m bored, but I’m finally happy with how I look. I’ve reached my goals and now I have to maintain them.

“I have a hard time resisting the temptation of food and sweets, so I keep them as far away as I can. I don’t want my life to end up like a chaotic bacchanalia.”

“Jesus, Azra, it won’t,” Jessica said. “And I had no idea you felt that way. We thought you had an eating disorder.”

“I just have a bad relationship with food.”

“We can help you. When was the last time you had a date? We can start from--”

“I’ve never had a date, never even been kissed. Not for a dare or spin-the-bottle even. I mean, why would anyone want to?” His blue eyes glossed over with tears that didn’t dare fall.

“I do,” she admitted. He looked confused now, and possibly worried. “Is there anyone that you want to kiss?” She tried not to let that expression bother her, the one of panic that didn’t want to hurt her feelings.

“Not at the moment. If the time comes, though, I want them to want to kiss me too. Looking my best will help.”

“So, you’re just depressed?”

“I wouldn’t use the word ‘just’, but no. I have very low self-esteem. That’s what my therapist said. She thinks this diet is helping me feel better about myself.”

“I know you won’t believe us,” Lauren said, “But you’re hot. We both think so, and I think you need to hear that, even if you’re not interested in us. Friends opinions should count for something.”

“Oh my, thank you very much.” His nose turned a rosier shade of pink. “But could we start work? Dr. Wayne is definitely going to give a pop quiz tomorrow. He always does.”

Anthony’s mobile rang late that night, which he wasn’t expecting. The caller I.D. didn’t know who it was, but he answered it anyways. He knew a lot of people that he still needed to put into his address book. Jessica, the girl from this afternoon, was on the other end.

“Hey, Jess. How’d it go?”

“Good news and bad news.”

“Hit me.”

“He doesn’t have an eating disorder, according to the shrink he sees for his low self-esteem.”

“Is he plain or something? He can’t be worse looking than Hans.”

“He’s really cute, actually. Remind me to show you a picture next time I see you. I don’t have multimedia messaging.”

“I have a better idea. You collect all of your mutual friends and all of his friends, and I’ll collect my friends, and we’ll go to the bowling alley for a night out.”

“That sounds really fun. I don’t know if Azra will say yes though. He likes to spend time alone.”

“Plan for Friday night. Let’s do it.”

“Okay. Let’s do it.”

Chapter Text

II.

Friday came quickly, and the varied groups of friends were an odd mixture, for sure. Preps, goths, punks, and the like all sharing two lanes at the bowling alley. The expected groups were there of course, Jessica and Lauren, but also the lab group that Tony brought along. He also brought along two of his other friends, Baal and Lucifer. Jessica bought along some friends, Sanford and Uriel. They were also friends of Azra, who was late.

“He said he was coming, right?” Liam asked, slumped backwards over his stool. “Lucifer’s mom only paid for two hours.”

“I paid!” the tall, thin goth guy beside him protested.

“Yeah, with your mom’s money.”

He shoved him in the face. Handsome as he was, the grimace on his face warped it. “Fuck you.”

“Guys!” Danny groaned. “Who cares?”

“I agree, though,” the handsome black girl, Uriel, said. “Where is Azra? I was on the phone with him on the way over.” She pulled out her blue Razor flip phone and checked it. “That was twenty minutes ago.”

Jess groaned out a sigh. “He’s probably riding his bike here.”

“Wait,” Lucifer said. “He’s a health nut? Please tell me he drinks. I planned on getting shit-faced tonight.”

“Me too,” Baal and Danny said in unison.

Baal was dressed in wide-legged Tripp pants and a tight long-sleeved shirt that covered her hands. It was a different but equally extreme look to her boyfriend.

“I wouldn’t hold my breath on that,” Lauren replied. “But don’t let that stop you. I’ll be drinking.”

“Me too,” Uriel concurred.

“Are you old enough?” Sanford accused, hoping to call her out. He wrinkled his Roman nose.

“My fake ID says I am.”

“I like this girl,” Hans said. “You got a name, babe?”

Uriel smiled and looked him over. He was different, and that seemed fun. “Uriel. And you?”

“Hans. Which I wanna put all over you, honey.”

“Oh, have we started already?” the beautiful blonde asked, setting his helmet down on the counter behind the group.

He had a bit of sweat on his forehead, causing his curls to stick there, and his cheeks were dark red from the cold. Tony looked up at the voice and his breath caught. He didn’t even notice himself stare as the blonde took off his tan coat, gloves, and scarf, revealing a light blue button-down.

“We’re waiting on you, Azra,” Jess complained. “Why didn’t you get a ride from someone? Or a taxi?”

“It was only seven miles.”

“Well, yer still late, pretty boy,” Lucifer spat.

“O-Oh...” Azra fiddled with his pale fingers. “I’m so very sorry. I--”

“Shut up. I’m getting beer.” He lanked his way across the establishment, headed for the refreshment shop.

“Don’t mind him,” Baal said lazily. “He’s always like that. Pick out your ball so we can start.”

“Right,” Azra said. He tripped over his own two feet on the way over to the ball rack. Maybe the bowling shoes were a bit big, Anthony thought. Everyone looked doubtful when he picked up the twenty pound ball. “Is there not twenty-five pounds?”

“Are you fucking serious?” Liam scoffed, amused. “Yer pansy ass can’t throw that!”

Azra actually smirked. He typed his initials A.Z.F. into the scoreboard and took his turn, not even watching as he got a strike. “Pansy, was it?” He asked over his shoulder.

Anthony couldn’t stop the chuckle that came out of him, and soon everyone else was laughing too, save for Liam, who was thoroughly embarrassed. During the laughter Azra sat. The only place available was directly beside the red-head. Tony almost instantly looked right at him and blushed.

“H-Hey,” he stuttered, adjusting his crooked spectacles.

“Hello.” Azra smiled sweetly. “I don’t believe we’ve met.”

“I’m Tony.” He reached his hand out.

“Hello Tony.” Azra took his hand. “I’m Azra.” Jesus his hand was soft, and Tony almost didn’t let go when the handshake was over. “Weren’t you the one who came up with this get-together?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Such a mismatch of people, wouldn’t you say?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Shit his eyes were the most hypnotic blue.

“I like your glasses, by the way.” And the hazel eyes weren’t too bad either.

“You too. Uh, wait, I mean – Fuck.”

Azra couldn’t help but giggle and it was done. Tony was smitten. How the hell had that happened? Let alone so fast?

“So,” Azra said, trying to stifle the giggle. “What’s the plan after bowling?”

Tony’s whole face was red, still so embarrassed and so confused. “I hadn’t thought that far.”

“Playing by ear then? That sounds delightful. I haven’t winged it in quite some time.”

“Oi! Lovebirds!” Lucifer bellowed. Both Azra and Anthony looked over in surprise. “’Bout fuckin’ time. Crowley, it’s your go.”

“Crowley?” Azra asked, but Tony was already plugging his initials in: A.J.C. Azra realized then that it must be his last name.

Tony wasn’t nearly as good at bowling as literally anyone in the first group. He was also the last to go, so Azra was next with another effortless strike. Tony purposely stood by his friends and teammates, his back to the adorable blonde. It was difficult not to look back at him. This was a sort of temptation he’d never felt before. By the next round everyone was buzzed, if not more. Only Azra and Sanford were the exceptions.

“I’ve got a great idea!” Uriel slurred happily after sinking her fourth gutter ball. “Let’s do karaoke after this! I know a Mexican place with it every Friday ‘til two!”

Drunken cheers rang.

“Bloody hell,” Sanford grumbled. “I’m going home. Tell Uriel to get a cab.” He collected his things and changed his shoes. “Play the rest of my game, Azra.”

“Well, alright, but are you sure?”

“I’m not having fun. I only came for Uriel, anyways.”

“Oh, that’s right...” Azra was embarrassed to have forgotten Sandy’s crush on Uriel. “Well, it was good seeing you, Sandy.”

“Yeah. Whatever.” With that Sanford left.

Azra sat more or less alone for the rest of the game while everyone else became fast friends. He didn’t put any effort into his old friend’s game. He never even got a spare.

As they left the establishment Baal slung her arm drunkenly around Azra’s shoulders, pulling him down to her very small height. She flipped her bangs from her face with a swish of her head.

“Where’d yer ugly friend go?”

“Who? Oh. He wasn’t having a good time, so he left.”

“Fuck.” She looked up and raised her voice to the rest of the group. “Lucy! No ride!”

“Fuck!” Lucifer yelled.

“Looks like we’re walking, pretty boy,” she said to Azra before wobbling away.

“I can take someone on my bike,” Azra said after her, but no one seemed to hear him.

He took his time getting his helmet on and riding to the restaurant, only a block away. He rode with the walking group so they would all get there at the same time. Inside karaoke was in the bar area and lots more people were drinking than singing. It looked as though a handful of drama students had taken over and the MC looked ready for fresh blood. Their large group was mixed together now and raced to put their names on the list. Azra waited patiently and went last.

Most of them were pretty bad. Baal was surprisingly good, as was Lucifer. Of course, Azra knew Uriel could sing, but you couldn’t tell from the inebriated way she sang “Scrubs,” by TLC. At least it was fun.

Uriel handed him a coke once she’d made it back to the floor. “You’ll get thirsty,” she mouthed over the beginning of the next song. He drank it and watched Anthony as he began singing a Queen song, ‘Fat Bottomed Girls.’ It tasted like maybe the CO² was running out, but he enjoyed it anyways. Azra was smiling ear-to ear, laughing aloud. Tony was funny. When he finished singing he leaned over to the MC and requested another song, apologizing to Danny over the mic. It was a song Azra had never heard before, but was also by Queen. Tony just had to sing ‘Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy’ after seeing such a big smile on that angelic face.

A second coke was delivered to Azra, and he decided to just exercise a little extra over the following week. Danny slapped Tony up-side the head playfully as he handed her the microphone. Tony headed over to where a large portion of the group had congregated, taking up the beer he’d ordered before he went on. He was really enjoying himself, though his eyes kept drifting over to the other end of the table were Azra sat. He leaned over to Lauren.

“I thought you sad he didn’t eat anything unhealthy?”

Lauren looked. “I bet Uriel gave him that soda when he was distracted. Now he’ll drink them all night.”

“Yeah,” Uriel said coming up behind them. “That’s what happens when he cheats. I want him to let loose for once.”

“Uriel,” Lauren scolded, laughing. “What did you do to that drink?”

“There’s rum in it. I had the waitress put it on my tab and told her to keep them coming until he turns them away. He’ll get as many as he can handle. I’m sure he’ll notice eventually.” She looked so devious.

“Are you sure you aren’t actually one of my friends?” Tony asked, shocked to hear someone who looked so innocent do something so naughty.

But it was Azra’s turn now and the opening music stole Tony’s attention and made him smile outright, almost laughing. He was never expecting ‘Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing,’ by Aerosmith. Azra also didn’t look like he’d had two rum and cokes. His amusement fell to awe once the blonde began to sing. It was like hearing an angel. Azra got drunken, thrilled applause when he finished, and handed the turn over to Uriel, who’d wanted to sing some more.

Azra took his fresh glass and wandered over to Tony though the crowd of tables and chairs. He tapped him on the shoulder as he spoke. “I liked your songs.”

Tony twirled to face Azra, in blushed surprise. “H-Hey. Really? Thanks.”

Azra drank half of the soda in a couple of gulps. “Their soda isn’t mixed well,” he slurred, cheeks pink. “Tastes funny.”

“Why are you drinking it, then?”

He shrugged. “It tastes diluted, so I figured it would be fewer calories.”

“Let me have a taste.” Azra offered it happily, stumbling forwards a bit. Tony was drunk, but felt so aware of everything once Azra was next to him. Damn, the bartender had a heavy hand. “This is spiked.”

Azra brushed it off. “Why would Uriel give me something with alcohol? I’m not old enough.”

“Pardon?”

“My birthday’s not until April.”

“Stop drinking it, Azra.”

He shook his head and finished the drink. “’S just coke.”

“Azra…!”

“Here you go, cutie,” the waitress said from beside them. She handed him a mixed drink and took the empty glass. “Compliments of the ladies in the corner.”

Azra waved in the direction the waitress pointed. They were pretty older gals, to be sure. Before the ginger could stop him he took a big gulp of the fruity drink. “Oh! This is yummy!” He drank some more and Tony didn’t know how to break the news to him that it was probably alcoholic too. He’d finished over half of it rather quickly and then offered it to Tony. “Have a taste!” Tony took a sip to humor him, and Azra almost spilled it taking it back. “It’s good, right?”

“There’s alcohol in it.”

“Huh?” He looked right at the drink, face falling. He handed it to Baal, who was seated at the table behind him. She took it gladly, like a gift. “I’m too young.”

“Why don’t we get a table and I’ll by you something to eat.”

“Food?”

“To soak it up.”

“Can I get cake?”

Tony reached over and fixed a strand of Azra’s hair. “You can get whatever you want.”

Azra’s smile returned and he clasped his hands together happily. “Wonderful! I love cake!”

Tony was able to get a table at the back of the restaurant, away from the commotion. Azra ordered the only cake on the menu, a Mexican hot chocolate cake. Tony got himself a dessert too, just a churro. Azra drank his ice water while they waited.

“Are you feeling okay?”

“I’m drunk, right?”

“Yeah. Is this your first time drinking.”

Azra nodded. “Not even a glass of wine at my cousin’s wedding.”

“You’re doing pretty good considering just how much you had. Those drinks were really strong.”

“Well, I’m mad.”

“Why is that?”

“Uriel tricked me. She’s always playing pranks. “

“Forget her.”

“Tony?”

“Hm?”

“Are we friends now?”

He felt his face burn. “I hope so. I’d like that.”

Azra smiled sweetly. “Me too.”

His eyes lit up suddenly, with pure delight as the cake arrived. Before the plate was even on the table, he had the napkin in his lap and the fork in his hand. It was absolutely adorable, Tony thought. Tony watched him eat for a few minutes, while he ate the bit of ice cream that came alongside his churro. Azra was truly savoring every bite, smiling with it. He licked the chocolate from his lips often, and Tony knew he was just straight up staring now. He wanted to touch him, to kiss him, and those were feelings he’d never had before, not really. He didn’t know how to label them. He finally forced his eyes away and ate his churro.

Azra was still finishing the dish when the waitress delivered the check. As he was signing the receipt, the blonde laid his head down beside his plate. It wasn’t yet empty.

“Are you okay?” Tony asked gently.

“I wanna go home,” Azra mumbled.

“I’ll call a cab.”

Tony called on his cellphone, specifying the need for a bike rack, and it was only a ten minute wait until the car arrived. The driver loaded the bike while Tony collected Azra’s things from the bar. No one saw him come or go. It wasn’t until they were buckled in that he realized he didn’t know where Azra lived, so he gave his own address instead. They’d barely made it to the first light and Azra was already asleep, head on Tony’s shoulder.

The driver helped bring the bike into the entryway under the stairs while Tony helped a barely-awake Azra into his flat. He tipped the driver well and tucked Azra into his bed, removing his shoes for him as he was basically asleep already. Tony decided that sleeping on the couch would be fine for one night.

Once Tony got into the shower he could think. His blood was hot. A man was in his bed. A man he wanted to kiss earlier that very night. A man he barely knew. A man he was falling hard for. A man. It was a surprise to him for sure, but it didn’t bother him. What bothered him was how hard it was to keep himself from crawling in bed next to the younger man and bury his face in that curly hair. It looked so soft. It was hard not to touch him and see just how soft that beautiful skin was. It was hard not to go and just take in how damned good he smelled.

As Tony plugged in his phone he wondered if Jess had a texting plan. He decided he didn’t care and typed out a message quickly on his keypad.

‘Azra @ my plc. Wuz drnk.’

He woke up first. Hans and Liam hadn’t gotten back until around six that morning and Lucifer didn’t come back, probably staying the night with Baal. They hadn’t even noticed him there on the couch. While his coffee brewed he headed out to the balcony and watered his plants. The make-shift greenhouse he’d made out of plastic bags looked like it was doing some good. They looked happier.

He sneaked into his room to change after a cup of coffee. He tried his best to be quiet, as it was only 10am and he didn’t want to accidentally wake the other boy, but as he closed a drawer, Azra groaned inquisitively. Tony froze, jeans in hand. What was he supposed to do? Say hi?

Azra sat up, hair mussed, and looked around groggily. “What…?” He saw Tony and gasped, pulling the blanket over himself protectively. “Tony?”

“Good morning.” He tried to sound jolly.

“What happened? Why am I here?”

“You don’t remember?”

“I remember cake…”

“Uriel got you drunk. This is my flat. I don’t know where you live.”

Azra relaxed a little. “Your flat?”

“Yes.” Tony turned on the lamp on his desk. “Something wrong? Not feeling well?”

“I’m fine. What did she give me?”

“Rum and coke. Then you had half of a mixed drink that some ladies bought you before I got you to stop.”

“Oh. I think I remember that.”

“Want me to give you a lift home?”

“I should get my bike,” the blonde sighed.

“I brought it with us.”

Azra got out of bed. “I won’t bother you anymore. Thank you.”

“At least eat something before you go. I made coffee.”

“No thank you. I shouldn’t impose.” Azra started looking for his shoes. “You’ve already done enough. You bought me cake, right? How much do I owe you?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

Azra pulled out his wallet. “Is ten enough? I only have a ten.”

“It’s really no big deal.”

“But we just met. You can’t possibly expect--”

“I do. I expect you to accept my hospitality. Besides, we had a good time last night, I thought.”

“You mean bowling and karaoke?”

“Yeah. And even after.”

Azra blushed and looked like he was about to cry. “What happened after?”

“Nothing bad happened!” Tony almost shouted, speeding over to him, still just in his socks and sleep pants. “After you sang we just chatted and then ate. No worries.”

“Did I say anything?”

“Like what?”

“A-Anything… personal?”

“You only said you wanted cake. Pretty much all you talked about.”

Azra sighed as though a house had been lifted from his shoulders. “Oh, that’s good. I should get going.” He found a shoe and slipped it on. “Thank you so much for everything.” His next shoe went on.

“Azra…”

“No, really, thank you.” He was quick to the front door.

“At least give me your number before you go!” He’d said it in a panic without thinking.

A wave of pure shock went across Azra’s face. Tony was standing there in his pajama pants, a nervous expression, and without his glasses. Even this morning face was handsome. “W-Well…”

“Here,” he put his phone in Azra’s hand. “Just type it in, and I’ll do the rest.”

“I don’t have a mobile anymore. I-I dropped it in the sink.”

“Landline then.” Azra nodded, still taken aback. Guys never wanted his number. Did Tony see them as friends? He typed it in and handed it back. “I’ll call you later.”

“Bye,” Azra said hurriedly, leaving in pure confusion, forgetting his coat. He was too flustered to even really notice the cold until he was halfway home.

Tony had forgotten the coat too. He saw it about an hour later when he was getting his books together. He decided to take it as a sign. He found the contact quickly, labeled just ‘Azra’ and gave him a call. It rang four times before the line picked up.

“Hello?” The voice on the other end sounded both confused and out of breath.

“Hi, I’m calling for Azra.”

“Who’s this?”

“Tony Crowley.”

“Tony…!” the voice became more relaxed. “It’s Azra.”

“Hey…”

“Hi.” They both sounded very unsure, awkward even.

“You made it home okay?”

“I did. A bit cold, though.”

“Yeah, you left your jacket.”

“It was too late to turn around when I noticed.”

“I’m heading to the library in a bit. I can swing it by your dorm.”

“No, I need to go to the library too. Would you like to meet up there around one?”

“Sounds great!” Crap, he’d sounded too excited.

“I have to finish my workout, so if I’m late, that’s why.”

“Stay hydrated.”

“See you later.” Azra hung up before Tony could return the pleasantry.

Tony wasn’t sure how to read this guy. He was almost a different person than the night before. How had he fucked it up?

Chapter Text

III.

Tony kept his eyes peeled the second the clock struck one. His Botany II book lay discarded by his keyboard and the cursor blinked in the middle of an unfinished sentence. Azra didn’t even know what floor he’d be on. Maybe he should wait out front. He had no reason to feel so nervous, but he did.

Tony left his stuff and ran down to the front, getting scolded by the staff along the way. No sign of Azra. There was a coffee bar by the entrance, so he ordered one. Then a thought struck him and he ordered a hot chocolate for Azra. It was cold out, after all. He stood and waited like an idiot until Azra walked through the automatic doors, satchel draped across his chest.

Azra went up to him tentatively, “Hello again, Tony.”

“Hey.” They stood there and looked at each other awkwardly for a moment. “Oh!” He handed Azra the cup. “I got you something warm to drink.”

Azra accepted it with a frown. “Please stop buying me things.”

“It was cheap.”

Azra sipped it and his face lit up before he forced the joy away. “Thank you. I love coca.”

“I’m just upstairs. Did you need a computer?”

“Yes.”

“I saved you one.” Azra looked a bit skeptical. “I’m writing a paper, so I just… spread out.”

“Thank you. Lead the way.”

For the most part they respected each others’ study habits. Tony only made one comment about how large Azra’s literature book was. After about an hour, Azra stretched and looked over at Tony’s screen.

“If you need a proofreader, I can help.”

Tony pushed his glasses up. “Really?”

“I won’t know any of the science words, but anything else.”

“That will help a lot. What’s your major?”

“English. I want to become a professor one day. My focus this semester is World Literature.”

“That’s like a whole other world.”

“What’s your major?”

“Botany, or as I like to call it ‘phytology’.”

“Plants? That really is a whole other world… Unless…”

“What?”

“If you think about the fact that books are made from trees and cotton. Did you know that even in today’s times, we still use flowers and roots to make pigments? True, most pigments are artificial or made from insects, but yes, we still crush a flower or two.”

Tony smiled, chuckling. “Is that so?”

“Why are you laughing?” Azra smiled, not at all offended.

“I haven’t heard you say so much in one go.”

Azra blushed. “I haven’t really talked to you since we met, huh? Not even when I was drunk?”

“Not even drunk.”

“So, um, what’s your paper about?”

“I’m writing about how root systems of plants do and don’t intermingle when forced into an overcrowded location, like a flower bed or road-bound land.”

“I didn’t know that was a thing. Is that when you have to re-pot things?”

“Sort of. I’ll let you read my paper. What about yours?”

“It’s just a book report. It isn’t due until Wednesday, but I finished the story, so I thought it would be wise to write when it was still fresh on my mind. We needed to read The Heart of Darkness. It was different. There are these men, you see, in search for their boss in the Congo. They hire a group of cannibals to take them down the river. That bit is funny, really. They let the cannibals do their thing so long as they don’t see it or hear about it. Anyway, in the end they find their boss in the middle of the jungle, but he’d already gone mad.”

The ginger couldn’t contain his bewildered smile. “That’s not real!”

“It is! Here:” Azra showed him a page, like it would explain everything, his blue eyes pure and expectant. “See?”

“Alright, alright. I believe you.”

“I’ll go get us something to drink.” Azra stood. “What would you like?”

There were two more coffee trips before they were ready to call it quits for the day. Azra was much more relaxed than at the start, and Tony was happy to see him behaving more like he had at the bowling alley.

“I’m meeting up with the guys for movies at Baal’s later on. Wanna come?”

“Will they be drinking?”

“Not sure, but I won’t be. Not if you’re there.”

Azra’s nose blushed pink along with the tips of his ears. “Do you know what movie?”

“It’s usually a bad horror movie. Baal picks and we’re surprised every week.”

Azra noticed how Tony’s glances never left his face. The round glasses weren’t hiding those hazel hazel gems. “A-And food?”

“Pizza.”

“I’ll bring something.”

“Do you want me to pick you up?”

“That would be nice.” Azra dug in his bag. “Let’s see your hand.” He produced a permanent marker. Tony did as he was asked and Azra took his hand to write on it. The softness distracted Tony, who’s total focus went straight to their hands held together. Azra lingered after he wrote his address. He did have to let go, though. “Give me a call when you head out so I can be sure to be ready.”

“Aim for seven.”

“Sure thing.”

Seven on the dot and Azra’s doorbell rang. He’d already changed his shirt four times, and figured the white with the blue and tan tartan sweater vest would have to do. He was officially out of time. It had started snowing out, so he grabbed his scarf along with his coat. He had no reason to be so nervous. They were just a bunch of acquaintances who would watch movies together. It’s not like this was a date. A date. No, of course not. That was crazy.

When he opened the door, revealing Tony, Azra couldn’t help but notice that he’d changed too. And was that cologne?

“Ready?” the red-head asked.

“I guess so.” Azra stepped out into the hall and locked the door. “Did you have any trouble finding the place?”

“None at all.” And Azra didn’t need to know that he’d been standing there for five minutes waiting for the slowest watch ever to turn.

“That’s good.” He followed Tony to his black 1970’s Camaro. “This is your car?” He was impressed.

“Yeah. I rebuilt the engine myself in High School during Shop class.”

“That’s just simply amazing! We didn’t have anything like that at my school. I don’t think I could ever do something like that.”

“It’s easy.” They buckled in and the engine roared to life. The tape picked up playing Queen. “So, why don’t you have a car?”

“I didn’t see the point. I get along just fine without one.”

Tony peeled out into the street and Azra’s hand flew to the ceiling handle, eyes wide.

“Baal lives off campus. Oh yeah, didn’t you say you’d bring food?”

“D-Did I?”

“Wanna run by somewhere so you don’t have to eat pizza?” He had absolutely no regard for the speed limit.

“Pizza’s fine.” His free hand was now gripping the seat tightly. “C-Could you slow down?”

Tony finally noticed the terror on the younger man’s face and started to slow. “Sorry. I always drive like this. Never really have passengers.”

“Th-There’s no need to be in such a hurry.”

“I didn’t mean to scare you, Azra. I’m sorry.”

“No worries… I’m fine.”

It felt awkward now. Freddie Mercury was singing about making a super-sonic man out of someone. Tony cursed himself. What if he’d just scared him away? Now that they were just becoming friends he wanted him to stay around. He barely even knew the guy. Damn, and he was such a cute guy too. Those rosy cheeks, that curly white-blonde hair, and those big blue eyes made him look like a cherub straight from a painting. How could a guy be so fucking cute?

But going fast had been unexpectedly thrilling, Azra thought. Everyone he rode with drove relatively normally. Tony just went. It was scary but he was excited now. The other man’s shoulder-length red hair was pulled up in a little half-ponytail, and the waves bounced with the movement of the car. He barely knew Tony, but he knew that he wanted him in his life now. He didn’t have any male friends, and this would be a great opportunity. But he was worried. Was that all he wanted? Just friendship? Heavens! He didn’t even really know him. What was he even considering?

Baal lived with her parents right outside of town. The trip had been a relatively short one. The driveway was full of cars and the modest house shrank behind large trees. Tony let them in without knocking. Azra was worried suddenly. He didn’t like to be surrounded by strangers which is why he’d spent a lot of the previous night with Sanford. Why had he said yes? Those hazel eyes glanced his way. Oh, that’s right.

“It’s about fuckin’ time!” Baal shouted from the floor. “I picked a good one this time. Sit down.”

Tony climbed up onto the couch by way of the coffee table, which had been pushed up against the arm, leading Azra by the wrist. Climbing on furniture felt so naughty, and Azra desperately tried to hide his grin. They settled beside each other, Tony sprawling his legs out like a lunatic, barely touching Liam’s shoulder. Azra had to keep his feet up on the couch to avoid both Liam and Hans. Danielle was off in the only other chair in the room, dressed completely in pajamas. Azra also did his best not to lean on the skinnier man.

“What’d you pick?” Tony asked.

“I rented Final Destination. It came out a few years ago. I’ve heard good things about it.” Baal pressed the tray into the player. “I was gettin’ bored of the shit ones.”

“Will this actually be scary, then?” Danielle asked.

“I fuckin’ hope so!” Hans shouted.

Liam tossed off-brand sodas to Tony and Azra. “Dig in, boys!”

Hans passed up two paper plates with large slices of pepperoni pizza and Lucifer turned off all of the lights. At first Azra wasn’t sure how scary it would be. He thought he’d heard of it a couple of years ago when it originally came out in theaters. It was just a hack-and-slash, right? Maybe they’d get trapped, like in one of those survivor- type thrillers?

Azra got closer and closer to Tony as the movie went on. He didn’t hide his eyes but the plot was making him uneasy in the dark. God damn, could this guy get any more precious, Tony thought. Tony couldn’t help but put his hand on the other man’s head. He had to stop himself from sinking his face into that blonde hair. The need was overwhelming. He hadn’t even noticed when he’d started fingering the curls. He smelled like heaven.

Azra kept watching, but didn’t pull away, even when it seemed safe. The suspense scenes could turn to gore at any second. It wasn’t until the credits rolled that he moved away, lest anyone get any ideas. He did like the feel of those spindly fingers in his hair, though.

Lucifer flipped on a lamp and took the DVD out of the player. “That was fun. What else did you rent, Babe?”

Baal held up another case. “Blade: Trinity.” There were sounds of collective approval. “I knew you’d want to see it again.”

“Sound good?” Tony asked Azra quietly while the others boisterously talked. Azra nodded. “You’re sure?”

“Yeah. This one’s just an action movie with vampires, right?”

“It is.” Their eyes hovered onto each others. “Have you seen the first two?”

“No. I don’t really watch movies.”

“Then what do you do instead?” Damn those eyes, like sapphires.

“I read. I love to read. I like to bake too. You should taste my muffins.”

Shit, Tony thought, was that innuendo on purpose? “I’d love to try them sometime.”

“Remind me to do that for you. I don’t get to bake much anymore.”

“The diet?”

“Yeah.” The room fell into darkness, only the movie casting any sort of illumination. “I’m sorry I mention it so much,” he whispered now.

“Don’t worry about it.” Tony reach over and brushed a bit of loose hair behind Azra’s ear. The blonde turned dark red and looked away shyly. Not even twenty minutes in, Baal and Lucifer were making out heavily on the floor. The other three were chatting over the movie. Tony sighed and leaned in to whisper into Azra’s ear. “How ‘bout we blow this popcicle stand?” Azra turned with bewildered amusement painted on his expression. Tony winked. “What d’ya say?”

It was still pretty early out for a Saturday, so they decided to leave. They made a pit stop at the grocery store so that Azra could pick up some ingredients. Soon they were back at the blonde’s place. Tony wandered around while Azra busied himself in the kitchen.

There wasn’t even a TV anywhere; just a multi-disc stereo with a stack of CDs beside it. His bookshelves were overflowing, with stacks of books on the floor. The futon and chair were piled with blankets and squishy pillows. Azra’s desk was cluttered with papers and even more books. He pulled a large, worn book from one of the bookshelves and opened it. Was this even in English? It looked English. He read the spine: The Canterbury Tales it said. That explained that, he guessed.

Suddenly there was a crash from the kitchen and Tony rushed over. There was a shattered dish on the floor, covered with egg. Azra had his hand pressed firmly to his arm. Even now Tony got distracted, and by something as innocent at the other man’s wrists.

“W-What happened?”

“I bumped handle on the oven door.” He removed his hand and struggled to look at the red mark. “I think it’s going to bruise.”

Tony took Azra’s arm and looked at the injury. “Looks like it. Are you okay?”

“Yes. I’ll be fine. Could you get down another bowl?”

“Where are they?”

Azra directed him around the kitchen while he cleaned up the mess. Tony stayed with him this time and observed. They made small talk about their classes while Azra finished preparing the batch of lemon raspberry muffins. Tony didn’t realize how delicate the other man looked until he’d seen his bare forearms. He’d seemed so strong at the bowling alley.

“Fifteen minutes of cooking,” Azra said, closing the oven. “Let’s go sit. I’ll put on some music.”

Tony plopped down on the actually very comfortable futon. Azra chose something instrumental, orchestral. He stayed standing, fiddling with his hands. He didn’t know what to say now, what to do. Tony wasn’t doing anything particularly special, and he was fighting the urge to sit close beside him since it had been so nice during the movie.

“What’s this we’re listening to?”

“Uh… Tchaikovsky.”

“Really? Nice. I like it.”

“So, um, how should we wile away the next few minutes?”

“You said you like reading?” He had a brilliant idea.

“Yes, of course.”

“Read something to me.”

“You don’t really mean that.”

“I do! Read me something… spooky. I insist.”

“Well, if you insist...” Azra knew the book before he’d even taken a step, and knew exactly where it was on his shelves. “You might like this one.” Azra opened the book and flipped a bit while he sat beside the other man. “Ready?”

“Hit me with your best shot.”

They both realized that this seemed like a date. But it wasn’t, right? Azra didn’t thinkTony was gay and Tony didn’t think Azra was interested. What was this, exactly? Just two dudes hanging out, listening to classical music, and baking? They were hanging out like a couple of old ladies, so why did they feel so happy?

“‘I was sick – sick unto death with that long agony,’” Azra began.

Tony was so very entertained by how this boy read aloud that he couldn’t stop from smiling. Azra was fully enjoying himself, and Tony had only caught a glimpse of this joy when he was telling him about that weird cannibal Congo story that afternoon. They were both having fun, and so much so that the oven timer surprised them. They’d forgotten the muffins. Azra scurried away but returned without them.

“They need to rest a bit. Where were we?” He glanced at the pages. “Oh yes. ‘To the victims of its tyranny, there was the choice of death with its direst physical agonies, or death with its most hideous moral horrors.’”

This time they were lost in the story. Neither even noticed when Azra had leaned over onto Tony’s chest, or even when Tony had draped his arm around Azra’s shoulders. When the blonde finished the tale of “The Pit and the Pendulum” he looked up to Tony. Only then did they really notice the closeness.

“W-What did you think?”

“I think... I want you to read me another. Or maybe a poem.” Neither boy moved away from the other. “I noticed you have a lot of poetry books over there.”

“Y-Yes. I do,” Azra stammered, his whole face turning red. He scooted over, away from Tony, forcing the resting arm to pull away. “I have more Edgar Allen Poe, or there’s Oscar Wilde, or even Robert Frost.”

“Eh, I can’t really say.” Tony felt cold now. “What do you like?”

“There’s Shakespeare?”

“I thought he only wrote plays.”

Azra shook his head, flinging his curls absently. The scent from his hair struck Tony and forced a gasp from his lips. “Yes, they’re sonnets. Very lovely.” Azra went and fetched another book, leather-bound, but thin. It was much more worn, obviously much older, than the previous. “I bought this from a used book shop when I was fifteen. I used to read them all the time.” He sat back down. “I miss reading for fun.”

“Well, whenever you miss it, just read to me.”

Azra’s face was a full blush now. “If only I had more time.” He flipped through the old pages a moment before he decided. “These are a few of my favorites.” The sonnets were swift reads and after three or four he’d moved closer to the red-head again. This time he did it on purpose. “You like plants, so I think you’ll like this one.”

“Let’s hear it.”

“’When I consider every thing that grows

Holds in perfection but a little moment;

That this huge stage presenteth nought but shows

Whereon the stars in secret influence comment;

When I perceive that men as plants increase,

Cheered and checked even by the self same sky,

Vaunt in their youthful sap, at height decrease,

And wear their brave state out of memory;

Then the conceit of this inconstant stay

Sets you most rich in youth before my sight,

Where wasteful Time debatheth with Decay

To change your day of youth to sullied night.

And all in war with Time for love of you

As he takes from you, I ingraft you new.’”

“You were right, Azra. I did quite like that.”

“And I...” Azra didn’t know what he was about to say. Tony was so close, just gazing at him.

“I’ve liked this whole night.”

“You have?” Azra finally faced him wholly.

Tony reached up and ran his fingers through Azra’s curls and then held his palm to the younger man’s cheek. “I’m having an absolutely wonderful time.”

Azra’s eyes sparkled. His blush was so becoming. And he wasn’t pushing him away. In fact, those blue, glittering, globes weren’t faltering in the least. When had they gotten so close to each other? Tony could feel Azra’s nervous gasps across his mouth. His scent was intoxicating. Tony hadn’t realized how much he’d wanted to kiss him until their lips met. They’d barely touched when Azra leaned into it and kissed him back, quickly. They’d hardly separated when they met each other again, longer this time. Azra’s heart was pounding in his chest. He couldn’t believe this was really happening. They’d been shy kisses, but by god they’d happened.

Tony pressed his face into the blonde curls and wrapped his arms around him. Azra was shaking, gasping, and hugged him back.

“So I guess this really is a date, then,” Tony said, with a chuckle. He was smiling ear to ear.

Azra giggled breathily and looked up at him. “I suppose it is.”

“I should have asked before I kissed you. I’m sorry. I only met you yesterday.”

“Have we only known each other for so little time?”

“Right?”

“I feel like it’s been so much longer. I mean, I’m never this comfortable so quickly.”

“And I’ve never kissed a guy before.”

“Well, I’d never kissed anyone before.”

Tony smirked and kept his hand in Azra’s hair. “Don’t lie.”

“I’m not!” he whined.

Tony held Azra’s chin. “There’s no way a face like yours has been left untouched.”

Azra didn’t think it was possible to blush more. “Tony…!”

He smiled. “Sorry, Angel. I couldn’t help it. I had to pick on you a little.”

“Could we… do it again?”

“You don’t even have to ask.”

They kissed again, Azra’s book still sitting between them, in his lap. It was just as sweet as the first. They stayed up late into the night, chatting nonsense and cuddling while Azra read some of his reading homework to Tony. They both fell asleep there on the futon, Azra first, mid-sentence. Tony didn’t want to wake him, and decided to leave the light on, falling asleep soon after with the warmth of the other young man against his chest.

The next morning, or afternoon really, Azra awoke pressed snugly against Tony’s chest. His textbook lay open on the floor. He smiled ear to ear when he remembered. He’d never felt like this before. He did need to get up though, no matter how much he didn’t want to. He tried to sneak away, but as he stood Tony groaned groggily.

“I’m sorry. Go back to sleep,” the blonde whispered.

“Mornin’, Angel.” Tony stretched, glasses askew.

Azra was blushing again. “Good morning, Tony. You don’t have to get up.”

“I don’t mind. What time is it, anyway?”

“Just past noon,” he responded, looking at the clock on the stereo. “I’ll make breakfast in a minute.”

“Weren’t there muffins?”

“Oh, goodness, you’re right. We can heat those up then.” They sat together just a few minutes later, digging into a couple of muffins each. A steaming pot of breakfast tea on the table. Azra hadn’t been exaggerating, Tony thought, he really could make a mean muffin. Azra checked the stereo, making sure the timer had reset appropriately after turning the appliance off automatically the night before. “Would you like some tea?”

Nearly an hour later, after some tea and another muffin, Tony decided to head back to his own flat and finish some homework. Azra agreed; he had things to finish before Monday morning as well. As Tony headed out the door, he paused, needing to ask.

“Azra?”

“Yes?”

“What are we?”

“What would you like us to be?”

“I...” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “I want you to be my boyfriend.”

Azra covered his smile with his hand. That smile had almost, literally, lit the entire room. He nodded. “I would really like that.”

Tony grinned stupidly. “Then…?”

“Yes.”

“Yeah. See you later, Angel.”

Chapter Text

IV.

Azra was getting ready for his shower after his morning run when his doorbell rang. Who could possibly be there so early on a Monday morning? He’d spent most of the previous day after Tony left exercising and doing homework and didn’t recall making breakfast plans with the girls. He looked a mess, cold and sweaty, but answered the door anyway. It could be important, after all.

There he stood. Azra wanted to convince himself that the weekend had been some wonderful stress-fueled dream, but Tony was right there, bundled up in a black coat and red scarf, safe from the frigid temperatures outside. In each hand he held a paper cup. Azra was mortified by his own appearance.

“Mornin’ Angel,” the ginger said, grinning. “I brought some coffee!”

“G-Good morning, Tony… Come in out of the cold hallway.” Tony entered and handed his boyfriend one of the cups. This wasn’t really real, right? “Oh thank you. I was just about to get ready for class.”

“I didn’t know how you took it, so I had them make it extra sweet for you.”

He sipped it. “Thank you. Please sit. I have an 8-o’clock class, so I’ll be right out. Sorry to rush.”

“Nah. I didn’t call first. Keep on with your morning. I’ll give you a lift when you’re ready.”

“Thank you. Oh, and Tony?”

“Yeah?”

“I really appreciate the gesture, but do call first next time. I look affright after a run. I never wanted-” He stopped himself and blushed. “I’ll be just a tic.”

He took longer in the shower than he meant to, distracted by his thoughts. Was this normal? He had nothing to compare it to, other than young adult novels and those were pure teenage fiction. Tony was good-looking and funny. He was charming and seemed to honestly care about his hobbies. Those very charms were what got him caught up, distracted from the world around him that Saturday night. Did he regret those kisses? His first kiss? No, not at all, but then why was he so scared? Was this all a trick? Some elaborate prank? He’d been bullied before, where he thought he had a friend and they ended up turning on him once he’d given them his trust. Maybe Tony was trying to out him? But that smile and those bashful, honest blushes couldn’t be fake, couldn’t be an act or illusion. Could they?

He knew almost nothing about this guy and he’d let him stay the night, be it unintentional or not. Maybe Tony thought he was some sort of harlot? That thought scared him even more. But that night had been so peaceful and sweet. He’d been so at ease and it was wonderful. That kiss… it was nice and it was gentle. It hadn’t asked for more, hadn’t been torn from him in disgust. Azra had felt so nice wrapped in his arms. What was he meant to do? How could that handsome stranger in the living room really be his boyfriend? That’s what had happened yesterday, right? Tony said he’d wanted him to be his boyfriend and he hadn’t said no. It just wasn’t possible for someone as gorgeous and carefree as Tony to actually like him. This relationship wouldn’t last, couldn’t last. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want it to end.

“I’m so sorry,” Azra said emerging from his bedroom, hair still damp. “I don’t normally take so long in the shower.”

“As long as you were thinking about me,” Tony winked, grinning.

“Ah, well,” Did Tony see the worry and panic on his face? God, he hoped not. “I just have a lot on my mind with tests coming up.”

Tony stood. That joke hadn’t gone like he thought it would. Why did Azra look so worried? “We still have time to get to class. I’m driving after all.”

Azra smiled a small, sincere smile. “That’s true.” He bundled himself up and pulled his schoolbag onto his shoulder before Tony handed him his coffee again. “Thank you again for the drink. I don’t usually drink coffee, but it is a nice change from tea.” He instantly regretted saying that last bit. Would Tony take offense? His heart pounded.

“Okay, Angel, breakfast tea next time then? You can tell me how you take it on the way. We don’t wanna be late.”

He hadn’t minded? People usually wrinkled their nose at him when they thought he wasn’t being appreciative. Sanford was a professional at it. Tony drove like a maniac through the icy streets, but they made it onto campus and to the Humanities building in one piece and earlier than Azra would have arrived if he’d taken his bicycle. As Azra unbuckled the worry finally broke through their small talk about Queen and different winter tires for sports cars.

“I really am sorry for what I said,” Azra blurted as one word.

“About what?”

“The coffee. I really do appreciate the thought on a cold, early morning, and I really don’t dislike coffee, but my request for tea was so rude. They made the drink very well. I don’t want you to think that I didn’t-”

“I wasn’t offended. It was just a cheap cup of coffee. I took a stab in the dark, just like I did with that coca on Saturday. No problem, Angel.”

A weight lifted. “Oh, good...” he sighed.

Tony smirked and shook his head. “So, Angel, when do you take lunch?”

“I usually eat around one. Why?”

“Aw, damn. I wanted to eat with you, but I have class at one.”

Azra flushed anew. “We don’t have to eat together, Tony. It’s fine. I have a very full schedule.”

Freaking great, Tony thought. Why was Azra acting so weird and nervous? He hadn’t been like this on their date, or on Sunday. Was he always such a worrier?

“So,” Tony asked, “When is your last class over? I can take you home.”

“It’s usually over around a quarter to five.”

“Let’s meet here. I don’t have to do my greenhouse duties until six.”

Azra nodded and placed his hand on the handle to exit when Tony took his free hand and leaned over. Azra pressed himself quickly to the door, dodging Tony’s incoming kiss. He snatched his hand away, dark red from ear to ear now. He stumbled out of the car as he scurried.

“See you this evening!” he almost screamed. He slammed the door and was inside the building in an instant.

Tony sat there, flabbergasted. What on earth had just happened? He just wanted to give him a kiss goodbye, and on the cheek even. He was driving again when he remembered. Azra wasn’t out yet and that would have technically been PDA. He guessed he could understand that bit, but why’d he have to run off like Tony had the plague?

They both had trouble paying attention in class. Azra couldn’t even concentrate on the assignment he worked on in vain while he ate lunch. They were both tense; Tony about Azra’s odd reaction that morning, his odd behavior all morning, actually. Maybe the blonde had just panicked in the moment, afraid of saying no, but not wanting it to happen in public. By lunch Tony had decided that that was it and then just became excited to see his adorable boyfriend later that day.

Azra, on the other hand, was still worried about what this was, if it was real, and embarrassed about rejecting Tony’s kiss so forcefully. He was afraid that he’d hurt the bespectacled man’s feelings. Azra wanted to kiss him, but not so suddenly and not where they could be seen by God and everybody. Tony was the only one in Heaven and Earth that knew his secret.

Azra chatted with Jess and Lauren outside while he waited for Tony. He wanted advice from them, but didn’t know how to go about it. How could he bring it up without telling them everything? Tony roared up in his Camaro. Azra said his farewells and climbed in. Journey was playing, and it was a song that he very much enjoyed. “Separate Ways” he thought it was called. The girls weren’t the least bit subtle, jaws dropping. Why were those two, of everyone, suddenly hanging out together. They couldn’t possibly have anything in common.

Azra barely spoke as Tony drove. “Bohemian Rhapsody” came on and Tony sang along happily, doing all the different parts. The blonde couldn’t help but smile at that. This man was so suave and funny and cute.

“So, how was your day?” The redhead asked once the epic was finished.

“Not bad, I suppose. How was yours?”

“Same. School is school. So, do you have any plans tonight, Angel?”

“I just have the usual things. You know, homework and exercise.”

“We could study together?”

“None of our classes are the same.”

“That doesn’t matter. It’ll be nice to sit and work on our own stuff together.”

“Maybe not tonight. Besides, my workout will be longer than usual. I have a lot of make-up to do after all the rubbish I ate this weekend.”

“That’s alright, Angel. I’ll be at the greenhouse for a few hours. There’s plenty of time for you to work out.”

Azra shook his head. “Not tonight, Tony.”

They pulled into the parking lot of Azra’s apartment complex. “Hey, are you okay? You’ve seemed on edge since this morning.”

Azra stared out the window. “Honestly? No. I’m not okay.”

“What’s wrong? Did I do something wrong?”

Azra turned suddenly, looking right at him, tears pooling in those gemstone eyes of his. “Is this real?”

“What?”

“Is this real?”

“I don’t understand the question.”

“We can’t really be a couple. You must be tricking me. There’s no way someone like you would ever date someone like me.”

“Shit, Angel,” Tony sighed. “Of course this is real. No, I’ve never dated a guy before, but so what? What would make you think this is a trick? A guy like me? A guy like you? What does that even mean?”

“You know, a guy like you.” More tears pooled and Azra could hardly see now. “You’re too handsome, and funny, and cool, and… sexy… to be interested in someone like me. Why would you be? Look at me.”

“Damn it, Angel!” He took Azra’s cheeks and held them firmly. “Damn it! I am interested in you! You said it yourself, look at you! You’re just… too fucking cute for words! I don’t even know how to say it, and you would. You’re good with words. Your voice makes me smile, makes me feel calm and excited. Of course I’m interested.” He kissed him firmly, not giving the blonde much choice in the matter this time around. “I’m crazy about you.”

Azra shoved him away, his tears falling fully down his cheeks now. “That’s too fast for me, Tony! This… All of this is too fast for me!” He almost fell getting out of the low car. “Please!” He turned on his heel, and was off, away into the building.

Tony sat idling, the window fogging back up and obscuring his view of the complex. “Did he just break up with me?” A good three minutes passed before he reversed out of the parking space and went back to the university. He rounded the buildings to the far side of the pond where the greenhouse sat near the back edge of campus. He really couldn’t focus now. Thank god no one else had this time slot scheduled, because he needed to scream, to yell at something, anything. What did he do wrong? He was ‘too cool’? What the hell did that even mean? How had he managed to mess this up? Too fast? Was it? It was just a fucking kiss, for fuck’s sake! How was a bloody fucking kiss too fast? He didn’t understand at all.

“Why haven’t you gotten any bigger!?” he bellowed at a small fern he was watering. “Too fucking fast!? Too fast!?” He screamed out a long holler. “How could you fuck this up, Crowley?! Why’d you go and make him cry…?”

Azra dropped his keys twice trying to get inside his flat. His entire body was shaking. He felt hot and sick. He collapsed to the carpet, falling in a lump. He’d barely even gotten the door closed. He wept, sobbed into his arms, not even pausing to take off his coat or remove his satchel from around his shoulders. He’d been so scared of Tony not wanting him and then when he realized that he in fact did… His mind had stopped at that thought and now the tears wouldn’t cease. He couldn’t breathe and his nose was running. He’d just ruined everything and all because he was scared.

It was unintentional, but Azra slept though his first class. Lauren looked at him questioningly as he sat beside her. His eyes were red and puffy, full bags underneath. It was obvious he’d gotten ready in a hurry. His hair wasn’t freshly washed and his hoodie, which he never wore, didn’t even match the rest of his outfit.

“What happened to you?” she asked.

“I don’t really want to talk about it. Did you finish the worksheet?”

“Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it? Was it something that redheaded guy said or did? You went off with him yesterday.”

“His name is Tony.”

“Well, okay. What did Tony say-”

“Nothing!” Azra barked. “Please… Just drop it. Let me see your worksheet.”

“Okay… If you insist.”

By the time his third class was over Azra knew that he should have just stayed home. Any notes he managed to take were useless. He decided to forfeit the day and go to the cafe to get some tea. He needed to think now that he wasn’t crying. He needed to figure out what to do. He didn’t even stop himself from eating a danish or two with his tea. By the end of the hour he’d made his decision.

Azra figured that Tony probably went to the greenhouse every day and took his bicycle to the opposite side of campus. The greenhouse was bigger than he thought it would be, and sure enough Tony’s car was in the nearby parking lot. He could hear a radio playing that tell-tale classic rock inside, and quite loudly at that. His palms were sweaty and he was having second thoughts. He was the one who’d pushed him away, after all, the one who ran away.

He glanced inside, but no one else was there. Only Tony and the plants. He was in the back corner, snipping something carefully. The winter flowers were in full bloom and the fragrance wafted out of the door. He set his bag beside his bike and entered quietly, wanting the option to to turn and run if he chickened out. Once he was past the point of no return he cleared his throat.

“Is that you, Professor?” Tony asked turning, pruning shears in his gloved hand. His eyes went wide. “A-Azra? I, uh, I wasn’t expecting to see you there.”

“I’m terribly sorry to bother you here.”

“Don’t be, Angel. What brings you?”

“I wanted… to apologize… and explain.”

“So, this is about yesterday, then…” Tony glanced away, visibly upset.

“No one knows about me. I… I’m terrified, actually. I don’t want to think what would happen if… anyone were to find out. I’m not used to anyone being interested in me. My mind just swirls with doubt. I don’t understand what you see in me and that is why I thought you were trying to trick me. Then you proved me wrong, and I think that scared me even more. Then you kissed me, right where my neighbors or any passers-by could see. I-I’m not ready to come out. It’s too dangerous.”

Azra was shaking and wringing his hands as he spoke. His eyes gradually became filled. Tony listened and watched. He didn’t understand how low a self-esteem someone so cute and pure could have. He could understand his nervousness about coming out. That would be scary and it was something he very recently had been thinking about. Until Azra he’d only had passing interest in girls, and never before in a guy.

Azra continued. “I want you to understand that I can’t do things like that where people can see. Don’t get me wrong. I...” He looked up finally right at Tony, his entire face red. “I… I want to kiss you. I want you to be my boyfriend so very desperately. Gosh, I hardly know you, but I need you in my life. I don’t want to break up. I-I want... I want… You. I don’t understand it, but I do. I feel like you’ve filled a hole in my soul. Three days and I haven’t stopped thinking about you.” Tony pulled Azra close to him just as Azra’s tears broke free. “I’m so scared. I’m so scared.”

“Shit, Azra, me too. Maybe not as much as you, but it’s still there. When I thought it was over after less than a day, I didn’t know how to handle it.” He pressed his nose into Azra’s tangled hair. “You’re a mess, Angel. I’m sorry I put you through this.”

“I’m so sorry...” Azra sobbed.

“No… No, don’t be sorry. Not for something like this.” Azra looked up at him. “It’s okay.”

“You’re not upset with me?”

“Nah, I’m not mad.” He wiped some of Azra’s tears from his rosy cheeks. “Did you get any sleep?”

“I eventually passed out, but I ended up oversleeping...” The blonde wiped the remaining tears and snot onto his sleeve.

“You look tired. Want a lift home?”

“I rode my bike, plus, you should finish up.”

“Stick around anyway?”

“Are you pruning the roses?”

“Yeah.” He showed the plants to Azra, and continued his work. “These reds are stunning right now.”

“They are, but look here.” Azra cupped a large white bloom in his palm and inhaled the scent. “This one is huge.”

“Yeah, she is beautiful.”

“I think white might be my favorite. They’re so lovely.” He sniffled, still recovering from his crying spell. “Easy to look at.”

The yellow roses behind Azra framed him sweetly like sunlight. Tony thought those suited him much more, flower language be damned. Tony smiled.

“I can finish this up later. Meet up at my place?”

“Okay. I’ll be there.”

Chapter Text

V.

Azra arrived at Tony’s flat around seven-o’clock, two grocery bags in hand. Tony showed him to the kitchen and helped him find everything he needed. He watched the blonde roll up his sleeves and dig into the ingredients, mixing a lot of it manually.

“Are you going to tell me what you’re making now?”

“You can’t tell?” Azra stuck his index finger in his mouth, cleaning it off.

Tony smiled. “I never cook anything, Angel.”

“Taste.” Azra spooned up a bit of the brown, sugary goop.

“That’s good…!”

“And I haven’t even added the chocolate chips yet.”

“Wait, are you making cookies?”

Azra’s smile widened and he nodded. “Enough so your flat-mates can have some too.” Azra poured the entire bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips into the batter.

“You didn’t even use a recipe.”

“I used to make these all the time in Secondary, so I have it memorized. Also, drop cookies are incredibly simple.”

“I’d need a recipe.”

Azra plucked the dough out with a spoon, cleaning his fingers of the sugary substance as he dropped the cookies onto the pan. Once the timer was set and the cookies were in to bake, they used the time to clean the kitchen and wash the dishes. There were still a dozen more to go after that too, so Azra pulled out his reading homework and read it to Tony. They stayed in the warm kitchen and enjoyed the wonderful warmth and scent. Within less than forty-five minutes all of the cookies were done and the first batch was cool enough to eat. Azra plated what he could and they sat in the living area.

Tony offered Azra a fuzzy blanket and he flipped though the TV channels. It was eight now, so they wouldn’t have missed much of whatever it was they decided to watch. There wasn’t anything, really, and neither wanted to watch the popular doctor show everyone was talking about. Tony decided to dig through his DVDs, cookie sitting between his teeth, making his mouth water. As Azra’s only real preference was ‘not scary’, he ended up with Interview With the Vampire. He knew it was based on a book, and that these were ‘romantic’ vampires as opposed to the Dracula-style scary ones.

But it had been a tiring day for Azra, and soon, after a couple of cookies, he was warm and snug under the blanket. He drifted off to sleep with his head on the armrest and his feet curled up against Tony’s thigh. Hans came home first, commenting on the wonderful smell before seeing the cookies and getting way too excited about them. He grabbed four before he vanished back into his room. Lucifer arrived home soon after, with Baal in tow.

“So, I assume the pansy made the cookies?” Lucifer said, taking three from the plate on the coffee table. “What’s he doing over here anyways?”

“We were gonna eat cookies and watch TV,” Tony decided to strategically leave out some details, and ignore the whole ‘pansy’ remark. “But I guess Azra exhausted himself. You should see his Lit book guys. The thing is gigantic.”

Baal cast a knowing smirk after scanning the sofa. It faded quickly, and Tony wasn’t even sure if he’d really even seen it at all. “We’ll leave you alone. Don’t wanna wake the baby.”

“Thanks.”

Lucifer and Baal went off to Lucy’s room, turning on music just loud enough to hear through the wall. Liam didn’t even say hello before he took a cookie, read the room, looking straight at Azra, then left them alone. Tony wasn’t going to lie to himself. This pretty much looked like what it was. Maybe they should go to Azra’s from now on. He’d have to buy a TV and DVD player if that happened. He liked music a lot, but this alone time with a movie playing was nice.

He was forced to wake up Azra when the movie finished. Neither wanted him to leave, but they both had early classes and Azra still needed to bike home. This time Tony let him know that he’d be coming to pick him up the next morning. He also refreshed his memory on Azra’s tea order. And since no one was around, Azra let Tony kiss him goodbye. It was short and simple, a peck really, but sweet all the same. Azra allowed him a second and then he was off. The morning couldn’t get there soon enough.

Aside from car rides, the boys decided to spend their weekdays working on homework and studying. They’d already been assigned another paper, and the following week they both had tests as well. It was only going to get busier from there because mid-terms were less than a month away now. Thursday, on the way back to Azra’s place, they scheduled a study date for the next night. Once Jess and Lauren found out that Azra wouldn’t be studying with them they insisted on coming over. Azra was the best bet they had for doing well in half of their classes.

Azra broke the news to Tony on the trip home Friday. Tony sighed loudly. “And you couldn’t tell them no?”

“They’re my friends, Tony. I want them to do well.”

“I get that, but…”

Azra bit his lip as Tony parked. “I wanted to be alone with you… I’m sorry.”

“No it’s okay, Angel.” Tony reached over and brushed his hand over the blonde’s curls. “They won’t be over all night, right?”

“Right. They never stay past midnight. Their RA is very strict.”

Tony cut the engine. “We can have a little alone time after then.”

“Of course, and then maybe a proper date night tomorrow?”

Tony smiled wide. “That sounds great!”

“I have to prepare the snacks.” They made it to the apartment door. “You can make yourself comfortable.” It wasn’t long before Azra had a the cutting board out. He’d hardly gotten a plate of vegetables started when Tony came up and wrapped his arms around him from behind. “Tony, what are you doing?” Azra smiled, distracted from his chopping.

“You told me to make myself comfortable.”

The shorter man blushed. “This wasn’t quite what I had in mind.”

Tony ran the tip of his nose over the back if Azra’s ear. “Do you want me to stop?” he whispered.

Azra felt his whole body heat up. “Y-You don’t have to...” Azra didn’t know what to say, so he kept working, nervous now. The vegetable plate was done, but now he wanted to make the quiche the girls had asked for. “T-Tony, I need to get the eggs.” He felt the arms leave his waist and was able to collect his ingredients. His mouth was wet and it was hard not to gulp down his saliva noticeably. He cracked the eggs into the bowl and took up his hand mixer, those warm, thin arms wrapping around him again. He barely got the quiche finished and poured without spilling. He was shaking and so very distracted now. “Tony, could you put this in the oven, please?”

“Of course, Angel.”

As Tony did his chore Azra loaded the dishwasher. Tony was having trouble with the timer, but Azra couldn’t look to help him. Just seeing the movements he made out of the corner of his eye was almost too tempting for him. The girls would be there any minute and he couldn’t get his mind tied up like this. Just Tony holding him as he prepared the food had gotten his pants tight and he hoped his boyfriend hadn’t noticed. It would be too embarrassing.

“I need to run to the bathroom. Could you put the vegetables on the coffee table and let the girls in if they get here while I’m in there?”

“No problem.”

Azra moved to turn towards the bathroom, but Tony caught him in a kiss before he could. Tony pulled their bodies close, making the kiss longer than the simple, short kisses they’d only ever shared. Azra felt his face catch fire only an instant before his body. He was forced to push Tony away, even as he began melting in his arms.

“No… We can’t…” Azra gasped, almost jogging away to the bathroom.

Tony smirked. That was damn flattering, to say the least. He’d only imagined what it would feel like to have Azra hard against his leg. It boosted his confidence through the roof, but it was frustrating too. Those girls were going to be here soon, and that was ruining everything.

Azra splashed cold water on his face over and over, trying to calm down and trying to avoid what he really didn’t want to have to do with another person in his flat. He knew this would be faster if he could just take a shower, but that wasn’t an option right now. The girls would be there any minute and he knew how suspicious it might look if he was in the shower with Tony over. The cold water on his face and the back of his neck just weren’t doing the trick. When he heard the knock at the front door the color drained from his face. No, why did they have to get here on time? He turned the water of the sink on full blast and knew he didn’t have a choice now. Just as he made his decision there was another knock, but this time on the bathroom door.

“Hey, Azra!” Lauren said happily. “The quiche is smelling great!”

“Th-Thanks!” Azra answered, voice cracking. “Feel free to put on some music!”

“Sweet!”

It was hardly a minute before he heard Beethoven start up. She must have already had an idea what to play. The music was also a godsend. Between that and the water, he felt like he could be quiet enough. He braced his hand on the back of the toilet and his other hand hovered over his fly. He realized then that he couldn’t do it. Not with people just on the other side of the wall. Yes, there was a good seven feet and a wall between him and the couch, but still! He considered moving into his bedroom for the deed. It would put some more space between them. His bathroom even had a second door that led into the bedroom, so it was feasible. A full song played and his nervousness was helping things calm down. Maybe he wouldn’t have to touch himself after all. He washed his face again. Another knock came to the door.

“Azra?” Jess asked. “Are you feeling okay? You’re not throwing up are you?”

How could he have been so stupid? “S-Sorry!” He called back, turning off the water. “No, not yet, but my stomach isn’t feeling too well. Start without me?”

“Do you need some medicine?”

“I-I have some in here with me.”

“The quiche beeped,” she added. “I took it out, but I don’t know if it’s done.”

“I’ll be out in a minute. Just leave it on the counter.”

“Okay…”

He sighed. He’d calmed down significantly over the course of that short conversation, embarrassment actually helping matters for once. He made sure to brush his teeth, keeping up with the story. He dried his face thoroughly, though his hair had gotten wet too. The blonde finally emerged. The girls were on the couch and Tony was on the floor, his shoes kicked off in a pile with the girls’.

“Feelin’ better, Azra?” Tony asked, meeting his eye.

“Y-Yes. I’m sorry about that everyone.” He checked the quiche and brought it along with a knife and some paper plates when he sat next to Tony. “Are we ready to study? Literature first, right?” The girls agreed and cut into the quiche. “Is that okay, Tony? I know you don’t have a Literature class this semester.”

“Go ahead. I’ll read about my plants while you guys focus on whatever it is you’re reading today.”

Azra decided on their usual study method where he read and then they discussed it afterwards. He noticed that Tony was definitely not actually reading his science textbook. Azra and the girls ended up in a heated debate on what Dr. Watson’s actual role in the Sherlock Holmes’ stories was. Azra thought John was extremely important. He gave someone for Sherlock to talk at, as Sherlock loved to hear his own voice, and also that without him, who would have written up the accounts? Also, he was Sherlock’s one and only friend. Yes, it was all fiction, but as a reader, Azra argued, the writer was meant to be Dr. John Watson, not Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. The girls disagreed. They felt he was only there to be a talking head, and that the stories would have proceeded just the same without him.

Tony was outright watching them now, smiling with a hand over his mouth. He liked seeing his boyfriend so passionate about something he was reading. It was what had attracted him so at the library just a week before. Shit, had it only been a week since they met? That didn’t seem correct, but he knew it was. Sherlock Holmes was something he was actually interested in as well, and wanted to interject. It was too much fun watching Azra slam his hand on the table and almost yell at the girls, even as polite as he was being.

“I’ll make some tea,” Tony finally said, interrupting Jessica. “Where do you keep it, Azra?”

Azra turned and smiled, embarrassed by how into the assignment he’d gotten. “Look in the cabinet above the kettle. I have cups and teabags there.”

“And the sugar?”

“Also there.”

He’d stopped the debate effectively, so they finally started discussing The Five Orange Pips for what it was instead of simply just the characters. It was nearly half-past eleven before the girls decided they needed to head out. Azra wrapped up the rest of the quiche for them, and saw them off to the bus stop a little bit down the block.

He fell into the futon when he made it back, his head landing in Tony’s lap. Tony immediately leaned down to try for an awkward kiss, but Azra stopped him, sitting up. He sat close and Tony put his arm around him. Was Azra going to stop him again? He tried once more and the smaller man leaned into it, gripping Tony’s shirt almost instantly in his fists. The ginger was trying so hard not to move too fast, but by god he wanted to taste him. Azra seemed happily content with their long, closed-mouth kisses. He shivered and gripped at the other man’s clothes as though just that was more than he could bare.

Tony had almost forgotten how inexperienced and innocent his boyfriend was. He decided as he felt those soft lips on his, that warm body pressed so close, that as long as it was for his angel he would go as slow as he needed. He could wait for this perfect creature to call every shot. He was a slave to him. That was his reality now and he was so happy for it.

He rubbed the younger man’s back softly, loving just touching him, even through fabric. He felt Azra’s mouth open just slightly, but knew better than to try and push it. He opened his mouth as well, locking them together more snugly. Tony massaged their lips together, realizing that Azra wouldn’t even know to try this. He heard the surprised moan deep in his boyfriend’s throat and counted it as a victory. Soon Azra was meeting his movements, and their kissing became even more savory. They each tasted like tea and sugar. Tony eased Azra onto his lap and those muscular arms wrapped around his neck. Azra almost curled himself around the red-head as they kissed, deeper and deeper.

Azra pulled away, just barely and whispered, “I… I don’t know how to French kiss...”

The admission made Tony smile. This was something he knew, but it also meant that Azra wanted to try it. He ran his fingers through that blonde hair again. He could never get enough of it. “I can teach you that.”

Azra’s eyes opened. “But we should be studying.”

“But we don’t have to.” The blonde certainly looked like he didn’t want to. “At least not right away.”

That seemed to appease him and he leaned in for another kiss. Tony wasn’t really expecting him to lean in so suddenly, but felt himself grin inside the kiss. The taller man eased his tongue inside the shorter man’s mouth. He took it slow, patiently waiting for the return and when it happened, shyly for sure, he rolled his around, trying to teach and please all at once. He didn’t know if he was any good, but supposed he was since no one had ever stopped him from it. Azra was a quick learner too. Tony felt hot now, and it was a good feeling. Azra’s body atop his was like a space heater. The blonde moaned quietly as they made out and the red-head couldn’t help but be turned on by the sound. He still couldn’t get over how pure this sweet, intelligent man actually was.

Azra was most definitely aroused again, and could feel that Tony was too. He had no idea what to do with this information, but he couldn’t really think clearly right now anyway. Tony tasted so damned good. He didn’t know how or why either. He had no idea that another person’s mouth even had a flavor. This was more than just the tea they’d had. Maybe it was because he smelled so good? That was a thing, right? Smell affected taste. He knew that was a fact, so maybe it translated here as well. Tony’s hand felt good too, roaming up and down his back. He didn’t know how much better it might be if those hands were directly on his skin. He was scared to know. How could he be terrified and happy all at once?

Tony stopped their kiss. Just as Azra was about to question it, Tony’s mouth started to kiss and suck on his neck, rolling his tongue against hot flesh. Azra bit his lip and kept his eyes closed. He didn’t know what else to do. The more Tony suckled the better it felt. He nibbled at Azra’s skin too, loving the flavor. Tony delighted as Azra gripped his long hair in his hands tightly. It kind of hurt, but it felt so good too. He hadn’t had his hair pulled before and he realized it was quickly becoming his thing. At least as long as Azra was the one doing it. He moved down to Azra’s shoulder, moving fabric out of the way. The blonde was shivering in his grasp, pulling the red waves fully taught. Tony hissed with it. He retaliated by pressing his hand up the back of Azra’s shirt, making him gasp aloud now.

The ginger unconsciously began to grind his hips up and into the blonde atop him who squeaked with the sensation. He closed his mouth over Azra’s again and he met it hotly. Moans continued to escape his precious lips, and Tony didn’t know how he hadn’t been stopped yet. Surely this was too fast, right? Not for him though. No way. Azra’s thighs were hot as fire now and Tony was beginning to sweat.

Azra’s mind was flooded. He couldn’t think. He could barely breathe appropriately. Tony was eating him alive. He knew it was too much too fast, but he’d never felt like this before. Would it be bad to stop? How would he handle himself, or Tony, if they stopped now? Tony’s hands were hot on his back, carving themselves into his flesh. His lips had branded themselves into him as well, forever there. He finally realized, yes, this was too much too soon. He broke out in a sweat. Was it from fear? He didn’t even really know for sure.

The blonde pulled away, having to physically push Tony away a few inches. “Wait,” he gasped. “Wait…”

“What’s wrong?” Tony had been waiting for this to happen, but he still felt a twinge of disappointment. “Too much?”

Azra nodded. “I’m sorry.”

“No. No don’t be. We’re moving at your pace, Angel. Not mine.”

“Are you okay with that?”

“Yeah. I’m too greedy, so I’ll need you to call all the shots. You’re the boss, baby.”

A light smiled fell onto Azra’s swollen lips. “You’re too kind to me.”

“Nah, don’t worry about it.”

“I-I’ve messed up your hair,” he noticed. The half pony-tail was demolished and sticking up. “Oh, I’m-”

“I can fix it.” Tony kept his arms around Azra. “It’s just hair.”

Azra pulled the elastic from the red waves and ran his fingers through, combing it with them. Soon it was tidy and Azra kept the black elastic around his wrist. Tony followed suit, tidying Azra’s hair too. They were both smiling like idiots.

“So, do you want to take the bathroom first?” Azra asked, knowing it needed to be said.

“You can go first. I’ll put on some music and won’t go near it until you tell me to.”

Azra squirmed in Tony’s lap, not helping, or maybe actually helping, matters. “Are you sure?”

“Hey, we’re guys. It’s normal. Just go, Angel. You can even think about me if you want.”

Azra’s ears turned red. “Tony!”

Tony laughed. “Just go already.”

Azra waited to hear the familiar sound of classic rock coming from the stereo before he got in the ice-cold shower. He couldn’t bring himself to jerk off with another person in his flat after all. When he emerged, he rubbed his head with a soft towel.

“Sorry it took so long.”

“It wasn’t as long as you think.” Tony rushed past him and closed the bathroom door.

Liar, Azra thought. He heard the shower turn on and decided to grab a towel for Tony to use. He closed his eyes and cracked the door.

“I’m leaving the towel right inside the door,” he announced, leaving it there and closing the door back.

“Thanks!” he heard Tony call from inside the shower.

In only a matter of songs Tony emerged. He was wearing his same clothes, but of course he was, and the towel was wrapped around his head like a turban. He pulled it off as he closed the door back and rubbed it roughly against his scalp. Wait, when had Tony taken off his glasses? Was he wearing them before? Then he noticed them on the coffee table. Was he?

Tony put the frames on. “So, now we need to actually study.”

Azra nodded. “Can you help me review for my Algebra test on Tuesday? I want to do my best. This is the last math credit I have for my undergrad.”

Tony sat beside Azra on the floor, looking over at the book. “Algebra, huh? I certainly can help you. No problem. What do you need?”

Chapter Text

VI.

Their planned date the next night was unfortunately canceled. Tony’s parents dropped by for a surprise visit, and he apologized profusely. Azra reassured him, since family time was always important. He took the opportunity to finally go and buy a new cell phone instead and sent Tony his new number via text message. His new plan allowed up to 200 messages. He didn’t think he would ever need so many.

Neither had much time for the following week either. Both had tests and papers due. But that was just something that was part of the university journey. They still saw each other every day when Tony would drive Azra to and from class. It was hard enough finding time that week for all of their homework and exercise, let alone time with each other.

At least they both needed to go to the library that weekend. They met up at a Mexican restaurant for dinner and then headed over, sitting beside each other to write and search for references. Their conversations hardy amounted to much. That was one thing they definitely had in common, a passion for their education.

Azra had turned his assignment in on Wednesday, and went with Tony to the greenhouse that evening. It was nice, even if Tony was still working diligently on a project for one of his many science classes, and this would be their only alone time until the weekend. Unfortunately, this was the only day this week that Tony wasn’t sharing his greenhouse hours with another classmate.

It wasn’t until Friday that they had turned in their assignments, and it couldn’t have come soon enough. Baal was having another movie night at her place, and Azra had been officially invited this time. Normally this was a Saturday tradition, but almost their entire friend group had been working their butts off for two weeks. Tony had wanted a date night alone, but he supposed cuddles on the couch in the dark with his boyfriend was going to be okay for now. It would probably get suspicious if they always spent alone time together whenever friends wanted to hang out. As usual Tony picked Azra up at his apartment and they drove over together.

They were on time this week and had a say in the take-out. The vote came out to Chinese, so Lucifer put in the order and paid, like usual. Azra decided to take a look at the movies Baal had rented while everyone else was chatting. Danielle handed Azra a diet cola.

“Ya ain’t gonna be too scared of ‘em movies, are ya?” she asked.

“I don’t really know what they’re about.”

He handed them to her and she looked over the titles. “The Fog and Red Eye eh? So, a monster movie and a thriller.”

“Oh, a thriller? Like a mystery?”

“I dunno. Probably more of a murder thriller. ‘E’s a killer on an airplane. ‘At’s all I know.”

“They might be a little scary, but I’ll probably be fine. I read plenty of thrillers about murder. Surely a movie about it will be fine.”

“And the monster one?”

“I can do monster movies; like The Fly or The Blob. Oh, is it based on the book?”

“Dunno.”

“Well the book was alright.”

“Azra,” Tony called from across the room. “What are you looking at over there?”

Azra held up the DVDs. “Just preparing myself.”

He came over, a beer in hand. “What do we have tonight?

“A couple ‘a thrillers,” Danielle replied.

“Thrillers? Can you make it through four hours of thrillers, Ang- er, Azra?”

Danielle caught the slip but didn’t let on. “’At’s what I was askin’ ‘im.”

“I think I’ll be okay. I read thrillers, so…”

Tony smiled. “Alright.”

Cuddle on the couch in the dark they did, only taking breaks between movies, and to eat. They didn’t make it back at Azra’s until nearly two in the morning. Azra was falling asleep on his feet, so Tony gave him a short kiss goodnight and left him for the evening.

Tuesday was Valentine’s Day. Azra had forgotten, worried about finishing his morning run on time. Tony picked him up just like every other morning, bringing him tea. Still, the date did not occur to him until he opened his planner in his first class. Naturally, he spent the remainder of his day worrying over not saying anything and what he should do that afternoon when Tony took him home. Tony, on the other hand, figured that Azra had forgotten when he didn’t seem at all flustered. They were beginning to know each other well enough for him to understand that Azra would not be taking a day like Valentine’s Day lightly, especially since it would be his first one ever with an actual boyfriend. He was prepared to woo him later on.

Tony was right on time picking Azra up from class. The blonde fumbled his way into the car and didn’t make any eye contact with the ginger. Tony smirked. There was that adorable nervousness he had been expecting.

“How was your day, Angel?” he asked.

“F-Fine. Pretty normal.”

“How much reading do you need to get done by Thursday?”

“Not too much. I’ll definitely finish it in one night.”

“So you’re going to be reading and exercising tonight?”

“Um…”

Tony snickered. “I’m just giving you a hard time, Angel. I was hoping we could stay in and spend time. If you don’t mind that is.”

“No, I don’t mind.”

As soon as Tony’s greenhouse hours were over he sped back to Azra’s place. Azra let him in happily, and they met in a warm kiss as soon as the door closed. “I just finished dinner,” the blonde said once their lips parted. “Go on and sit.”

Of course the dinner was delicious. Azra had cooked the tuna steaks perfectly. Tony wasn’t much of a broccoli fan, but it was seasoned well, as was the rice. Once dinner was over Azra brought in the tea. Chamomile with honey, he told him. The music was relaxing and Azra leaned into Tony’s chest, just enjoying the warmth as they sat. Tony liked this too. It was simple and it was nice. Usually they made small talk, at least. He thought silence between them would become awkward, but it wasn’t at all.

Soon the ginger removed his glasses and set them on the coffee table with his empty teacup. Azra moved to refill it, but Tony caught his shoulder and eased him back to the futon. Before Azra could ask, he was pulled into a kiss. The angle was odd, but Tony held him there, massaging their lips together. Soon, however, Tony let him resettle himself and they were kissing again, Azra’s arms snug around Tony’s neck. Azra’s tongue was hot as Tony pulled him in tighter and together they lost track of the time, just tasting each other and breathing hotly.

Tony wished he could stay longer, but it was nearly ten, and they both had schoolwork to work on. He gave himself one last excuse to stay just a little and had his sweet boyfriend read to him while he washed the dishes. Never in his life did he think he would insist on doing the dishes. Azra didn’t want him to go either, and barely tried to resist Tony’s offer, so he read his homework aloud. It was too soon before Tony had to go. Normally Azra felt sad on this holiday, but he understood the excitement around it now.

Tony wrapped his scarf around his neck and turned, hand on the knob. “Angel, why don’t we go on a real date Saturday night?”

“Why so sudden?”

“I don’t think it’s sudden…” Tony scratched the base of his neck. “Besides, I want the festivities to carry on, you know?”

Azra nodded. “Saturday sounds wonderful.”

“We’ll hash out the details tomorrow.” Tony gave Azra a quick peck on the lips and opened the door. Their eyes met for a moment. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Angel.”

~~~

The guys knew he had a date. It was obvious. Tony had on cologne and he was actually wearing a suit with a waistcoat. Even a tie. He’d even foregone his regular combat boots for some nice black wingtips. He came out of his bedroom, tying his hair up in his classic half-ponytail. Liam leaned over the arm of the couch.

“She might like your hair better if it’s down,” he said. Hans nodded in agreement.

“Down? You sure it’s not better up?”

“I ain’t a chick, but don’t ya think she’d wanna, like, put her hands in it?”

Tony instantly remembered Azra pulling his hair while they made out. He pulled the elastic out and started to fix the strands with his fingers. “Good point.”

“Who’s the lucky gal anyway?” Hans asked.

Tony pulled on his coat. “That’s none of your fucking business.”

“I just can’t believe you’ve got a date on Valentine’s weekend,” Lucifer said as he came out of his bedroom, also dressed to his gothic nines. “At least I have a girlfriend.”

“You guys can give me all the shit you want later; I’ve got reservations.”

“Ooh, lala,” Liam teased.

Tony was glad he drove well on icy roads. It was a cold evening out and he wanted to make it safely to Azra’s flat before the sun set all the way. He screeched to a stop in his usual parking spot at the apartment complex. He hadn’t let the guys know, but he’d cut some red and white roses at the greenhouse that afternoon just for tonight. He knew not to get him chocolates, even if he’d pondered the idea. As he walked up the entrance he started to doubt his choice of gifts. Were there too many roses? Not enough? Maybe he should have bought him a book. But he could do that after dinner as a surprise. He didn’t even know what books Azra might want. Hell, he didn’t know what books Azra had.

He’d barely knocked when he heard the locks unbolting on the other side. Azra’s face was like a warm breeze in this cold day. His blonde curls were styled as nicely as always and he’d even put on a suit as well, though his was a calming tan color as opposed to the red-head’s solid black. Of course Azra’d put on a tie. Why wouldn’t he have? And a bow-tie at that.

“Hello, Tony,” the blonde said, almost swooning at the sight of his handsome boyfriend.

“These are for you, Angel.” He held out the bouquet of roses and that blinding light of happiness filled the hall when Azra smiled.

“Tony, they’re gorgeous!”

“I grew ‘em myself.”

Azra cradled the large bundle like a baby. “I love them…! Come in, come in. I just need to put my coat on.” He headed to the kitchen. “But first a vase for these, I think.”

He handed them back to Tony so he could search for a vase. It was in the back of a cabinet, but sure enough he had one that would work. Tony took to arranging them while Azra pulled on his coat and scarf.

“I think you’ll like the restaurant I chose,” Tony said. “It’s in the city, but I think it’s worth the drive.”

“And if it’s in the city we can actually have a real date.”

“Really?”

The blonde nodded. “I doubt we’ll know anyone there. Besides, it’ll be glaringly obvious that we’re on a date to anyone who may pass by.”

“A date or a business meeting.”

“On the weekend after Valentine’s?” Azra shook his head. “No one, not a soul, will think it’s a business meeting.” Azra gave Tony a small peck on the cheek. “Shall we go? You told me you made reservations.”

Traffic was terrible. Tony was not being on his best behavior as far as his road rage was concerned. These idiots did not know how to drive and they were going too bloody slow for his liking. He wanted his romantic alone time with Azra, and didn’t want any other halfwit to get in the way.

“Tony, if you would slow down, then you wouldn’t have to slam on your breaks. That’s dangerous.”

“Well, these asshats aren’t even going the speed limit…!” He yelled out the windshield at the minivan in front of him.”

“Then go around…!” Azra’s hand was tight on the ceiling handle. Downtown traffic was nothing to sneeze at.

“Then hold on tight.” He snapped his blinker on and flew into the next lane without looking. In a matter of seconds he’d overtaken then van and zipped through a few more cars before finding a steady pace that was fast enough for his liking. Azra had gone pale. “Are you alright, Angel?”

“That wasn’t quite what I had in mind…”

“It saved us some time though. We might not lose our table now.”

“I would certainly hope not.” His brow was furrowed now. “Not after you just tried to kill us both.”

Panic raced through Tony’s veins, making his heart pound. He always scared Azra when he drove. He’d never thought of how dangerous it might be before he’d had this man in his car, but now… He wouldn’t let his road rage get to him. He needed to make this better, and make this better now.

“Sorry, Angel. Didn’t realize my driving was so wild. I’ll try to work on that.”

“Please do. I’ll die young otherwise, be it a wreck or a heart attack.”

“I’ve never been in a crash my whole life.”

“Well, statistics say that everyone gets involved in at least one in their lifetime. If I’ve never been in one and you’ve never been in one, then I’d say our chances are doubled when we’re together. I pray that today is not that day.”

“I’ll be more careful. I’m sorry I scared you.”

Azra nodded. “All is forgiven.” And it truly was. Azra looked much more relaxed and a smile slipped back onto his lips. He started to hum along with the radio. “I’m very curious as to where you’re taking us. I tried not to spoil my appetite.”

“After we eat, I thought I’d take you one more place for a surprise before the movie.”

“More surprises? You’re really spoiling me tonight, Tony.”

“Well, I’ve never had someone to spoil on Valentine’s Day before. I’m usually single.”

“That’s surprising. I figured you’d be the type of guy a girl would want to show off on a day like today.”

“Why do you figure that?”

“Well, you see, I want to show you off.”

Tony smirked and blushed. “I thought that’s what I was going to say about you.”

Azra’s ears turned red. “Why would you want to show me off?”

The red-head sighed. “Why wouldn’t I?” He glanced over and the blonde was staring out the window. “Eh, it doesn’t matter why. I want to and that’s enough.”

“I want to show you off to show everyone that you’re off the market. I want them to be jealous. I want them to think, ‘what did that guy do to catch a man like that?’ I want them to be frustrated with how much they want you but can’t have you.” Azra was calm, matter-of-fact, as he gazed at Tony. “That why I want to show you off.”

Tony was dumbfounded. How was he supposed to respond to something like that? “Well, shit, Angel, are you trying to turn me on? Because it’s working.”

“I wasn’t...” He kept looking him over. “But it’s good to know what sort of thing gets your juices flowing.”

Dinner and the movie couldn’t come and go fast enough. He wanted Azra in his arms right then. He wanted to ravish him. He knew Azra wasn’t ready for that, but a man could dream, couldn’t he? He didn’t realize Azra could be such a powerful force. He always thought he was so gentle and kindhearted, but knowing that he wanted other people to feel anything but happy and content was something new. Tony had forgotten that they still knew next to nothing about one another, but then again, they haven’t even known each other a month. Here he thought he was the one who wanted to make everyone else jealous because he had Azra, to make them yearn for something they couldn’t have and shove it in their face, only to learn that his angel wanted to do the exact same thing. Only, Azra’d been ballsy enough to say it out loud.

The restaurant was packed, and Tony was glad that he’d planned ahead. It was the nicest place he’d even been in and tried not to gawk.

“How many?” the hostess asked, pen ready.

“I actually have a reservation for two under ‘Crowley’,” he said confidently over the top of his glasses.

“Welcome, Mr. Crowley. Would you like to check your coats?”

Another host met them and took their coats, handing them a plastic tag in return. Tony pocketed it and followed the girl, who was probably the same age they were, to a nice small booth in the back. Older, richer couples were sat around them, judging silently. Tony didn’t care about that though. Azra looked around nervously and held the menu in front of himself. Where had that confidence he’d had in the car gone to? He decided not to bring it up.

“I didn’t know this place would be so glitzy.” There were single-stemmed roses in a vase at every table with candles. “I’m glad we decided to wear suits.”

“It’s almost too fancy,” Azra whispered, glancing over at a middle-aged lady who stared haughtily at them.

“The movie isn’t until ten, so we might as well enjoy the food and fuck everyone else. Don’t worry about the bill either. I’ve had money burning a hole in my pocket ever since I finished my car. I insist, Angel. We can even get this $50 bottle of wine if you want it.”

“I’m still not old enough, Tony.”

“Oh, right. Is Italian food okay? I forgot to ask you that.”

“I love Italian food.” He was studying the menu, even as he hid behind it.

“No one knows us here, Angel. Anyway, won’t hiding make it just look worse?”

Azra forced the menu onto the table and continued to read it. “I suppose you’re right.”

It was only a minute later that the waiter came by and took their drink and appetizer order. A salad for Azra and Tony was happy with the bread sticks.Tony chose to forego wine, since Azra was just having some hot tea and ice water. He wasn’t embarrassed to order soda at a fancy restaurant. There wasn’t anything particularly special about their starters, but when the waiter brought out their main dishes Tony could see why this place was so crowded. Azra’s eggplant parmesan could probably feed two very hungry people and his lasagna wasn’t any smaller. Tonight’s dinner special included dessert, but he didn’t think he’d have room.

He barely made it half-way though his dish before he decided to stop, so there would be a least some room for dessert. Azra was still eating, slowly, savoring each bite with a grin and a small moan of delight. He could watch this for a while, he supposed. Azra didn’t even notice him watching. The waiter came up to check, but said nothing when he met eyes with Tony and left. He returned five minutes later with a dessert menu. He removed Tony’s plate, mentioning quietly that he would wrap it up and return it. Azra looked embarrassed when he heard this.

“Don’t worry, Angel. I get full really fast. Enjoy yourself. I’ll pick a dessert we can share.”

Azra thanked him with a small blush and continued eating. He hadn’t had anything so delicious in such a long time, since before he’d started his diet. He felt like he was probably eating like the fat kid he was, but Tony gave him such a happy, peaceful look that he knew it didn’t matter to him. The dessert was ordered and their waiter promised to wait to bring it out until Azra had finished. Little did he know, this small man would eat a meal big enough for two all on his own, cleaning off every drop of sauce.

Their waiter set the large piece of triple chocolate raspberry cheesecake in front of them, with two spoons, before he handed Tony the check. Tony didn’t know how Azra had any space left in his stomach but he apparently did. Tony barely had four bites before he tapped out, so Azra ate the rest. He glowed with happiness. The meal had been exquisite. Tony didn’t even mind the price tag. He had savings left over from another car project that had never left the ground. He was planning to go all-out tonight. A sixty dollar meal was nothing, especially if it had brought his boyfriend so much happiness.

“I don’t know what kind of surprise you have in mind,” Azra said as they retrieved their coats with the plastic tag. “This dinner was wonderful enough.”

“I want to spoil you, Angel. Besides we have over an hour to spare before we even have to be at the theatre.”

It was only a couple of blocks to the next stop. Tony made Azra promise to keep his eyes closed until he opened the car door for him. Azra did as he was asked, not wanting to ruin the surprise. Tony opened Azra’s door and took his hand, helping him out. Only then did the blonde open his eyes. They were in front of a brick building with large widows. It was a corner entrance and at first Azra didn’t know what he was looking at. That is until he saw the stacked displays of old books in the window.

“Tony, is this…?

“An antique book shop. I wanted to get you a book, but I didn’t know which kind.” The red-head was nervous until he saw the happiness well up on those rosy cheeks.

“You can’t possibly be serious!?”

“Let’s go pick something out. They don’t close until half past nine.”

The entire time they were in the small shop Tony thought Azra would start to cry. He’d never seen him quite so jubilant. The clerk was watching them with a smile, even as Azra took up multiple books and put them back down over and over, trying to decide. He ended up in a section of beautifully re-bound books, the leather etched delicately. While his eyes kept trailing back to the books with the older covers, his eyes fell upon something very well kept but in its original bindings. It was a thicker book. He plucked it up gently and flipped though the pages, smelling them. Tony caught a whiff of peppermint and tobacco.

“The previous reader smoked a pipe,” Azra cooed. “Oh, Tony, can I get this one?”

“Of course, Angel.” As the clerk rang it up Tony asked. “So what book is it?”

“Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri.” Azra took the book, now nestled in a brown paper sack. “It’s my most favorite story. That’s weird, right? But I love it.”

“I think we had to read part of that in High School. Doesn’t that guy go to hell, and see Satan?”

“Well, sort of,” the blonde giggled. “There’s a lot more to it than that. I can’t wait to get my degree and teach people about this wonderful work of art… of history!”

Tony brushed a bit of Azra’s hair behind his ear. “Maybe you can read it to me after you catch me up on Harry Potter?”

“I’d love that!”

“Happy late Valentine’s Day, you two,” the clerk said, waving them good-bye.

“You too!” Azra called back, a song in his voice.

Tony picked out a romantic comedy for them to see, since the only other thing of note was probably too scary for Azra. What Tony didn’t realize was that Imagine Me & You was a queer love story about a woman who falls for another woman on her wedding day. It ended up being more of a romantic drama. Somehow Azra was still able to eat, keeping a steady hand in the popcorn bucket. Tony just wanted to hold it. Lots of couples were there, having the same night as the two college boys, enjoying the movie. Azra looked away at any of the love scenes, blushing, which Tony found precious. They weren’t even risqué scenes. They’d both enjoyed it, though.

“So, I hope you don’t mind, Angel, but I booked us a hotel room, so we don’t have to drive back so late.” Azra looked surprised, but before he could speak Tony exploded with nervous explanation. “I booked for two double beds, and made sure robes were provided. I guess I should have told you, so that you could bring your pajamas, but I brought an extra set. I wasn’t meaning to sound -”

“That sounds wonderful. Where did you book?”

Azra seemed so calm about it, Tony thought, but he was wrong. At the words ‘hotel room’ Azra’s heart started racing. He was excited. They’d only ever slept over accidentally before. He wished Tony hadn’t of been such a gentleman, though. He would have liked just one bed. But there was the nervous part of him that was glad for the two beds. If Tony had gotten just the one then he would have felt obligated to… and he knew he just wasn’t ready for that step yet. Or at least he thought he wasn’t. He didn’t really know himself anymore. It had been a whirlwind of a month. Had it really been only a month? Both sides of him knew one thing though, he was ready to go at least a little but further.

“Just a Holiday Inn, not nearly as fancy as dinner.”

“That’s wonderful. I was starting to feel guilty with all of the money you’re spending on me.”

“Bah!” Tony waved his hand, dismissing the statement. “I want to spend my money on you.”

“Well, regardless, thank you.”

“Ah, you’re welcome, Angel. Let’s head on over and get out of these stiff suits.”

The hotel was about ten minutes away via the highway, and Azra felt his nerve flaring up. Tony was talking about the movie, what parts he liked, that he didn’t know why he didn’t realize it was a lesbian film, and wondered where he’d seen those actresses before. He could tell one of them was American, but her English accent hadn’t been too terrible. The British actress he knew he’d seen somewhere before. He was ecstatic when it dawned on him. She’d played Guinevere on the Merlin miniseries back in the late ‘90s. She was Lena Headey. He wondered what else she’d be good in in the future.

Once they parked Tony took his duffel bag out of the trunk and they went to the front desk to check in. Azra offered to hold the bag, and Tony reluctantly handed it over. He had to remember that Azra wasn’t a chick and didn’t require the same courtesies. The receptionist eyed them with suspicious amusement as she looked the reservation up in her computer. Azra and Tony both knew that she knew but no one said anything.

“So, we have one room for two adults under Anthony J. Crowley, correct?”

“Yeah.”

“Non-smoking, no pets.”

“Right.”

“And a king-sized bed?”

“Ye- no. I booked two double beds.”

She could read the look of panic on both of their faces. “They must have miss-booked you. I’m sorry, but we only have single bed rooms available right now.”

“Shit…”

“I’m sorry for the inconvenience.”

“What do you want to do, Azra?” Tony asked over his shoulder.

Azra pushed his curls behind his ear nervously. “I suppose we can make do.”

“Is it too late to cancel the reservation?”

“You would still be charged for the night, since your check-in is so late.”

Tony sighed. “You sure, Angel?”

“It’s fine, Tony. I don’t want you driving so late on a Saturday night. What of the drunks?”

“Okay, let’s go,” he told the receptionist. “He says its okay.”

She had a mischievous twinkle in her eye. “I’ll give you the rate of the double room for the trouble.”

“Thanks.”

She handed them the key cards. “Your room is 507. Have a wonderful stay.”

They walked in awkward silence to the elevator and all the way to the room where Tony unlocked the door. “I’m real sorry about this, Angel. I swear I booked a double.”

“I really don’t mind,” Azra assured him, sitting the bag on the desk. “This is a lovely room.” He turned back to Tony, who was locking up the door, and shut off the light. The red-head turned, questioning. Azra gripped the red tie in his hand and pulled Tony by it, forcing their mouths together in a hot kiss. “Follow me.”

He led Tony by the tie like a puppy and pulled him on top of him onto the bed, kissing him again, deeper this time. Tony was too taken aback, too thrilled to protest or ask any questions. He thought he might be dreaming, having forgotten falling asleep. Azra’s tongue was hot and wet and his body was nice under him. Azra unbuttoned Tony’s shirt as they made out, tossing it, the blazer and the waistcoat to the side. With a bit of help Tony was topless, save for his tie. As Azra rubbed Tony’s biceps, enjoying the simplicity of kissing, the older lad began his work removing the younger’s blazer, waistcoat and searching for the clip of the bow-tie.

Azra finally forced his lips away and undid the tie himself. It wasn’t a clip-on. Just the swish of that line of fabric being removed set Tony aflame. He tried not to rip open the buttons of Azra’s shirt, and luckily Azra started to kiss him again, giving him little choice but to slow down. He felt as Azra kicked off his shoes and soon a socked foot was roaming up and down his leg. Azra’s hands were in Tony’s hair, gripping on tightly. The guys had been right

Tony broke free only to give one request. “Move up further onto the pillows.”

He needn’t ask twice. He was free of his shoes now too, and Azra all but hugged his legs around the red-head’s thighs. Kissing him again as though they’d parted for ages. His shirt would wrinkle, but neither had a worry for that right now. Azra took off Tony’s spectacles, tossing them gently onto the side table to safety. The lanky man couldn’t resist any more and pressed his face into Azra’s collarbone, kissing and sucking gently. He soon covered the smaller man’s shoulders and throat with kiss-bruises and tiny bites. His skin tasted so damned good.

The blonde needed to taste him again too, and used the tie to pull him back up, furtheringtheir passionate kisses. He didn’t even mind the drool they’d gotten on each other’s faces. Without being coaxed or asked, Tony did just what Azra had been unknowingly wanting. In his excitement he began to hump briefly against him. Their crotches were together, after-all and the red-head had felt the blonde’s arousal.

Azra draped his arms around Tony’s shoulders, tie still in hand. Tony took this as a cue to keep on with it, and realized what his body had gone and done without him. He made more of an effort now, removing his belt to get the metal buckle out of the way, and followed it with Azra’s, who had made it easy by unconsciously lifting his hips for the removal. Tony’s rutting became more pronounced now, and Azra was actually moaning into his mouth as they kissed.

He loved that he was the first person to see his angel like this, blushed, hot, moaning, and hard. God, he wanted to look at him, but he didn’t want to pull away, didn’t want Azra to loosen his grip on him for anything in the world. It was Azra who forced their mouths apart, taking a deep breath and moaning aloud, albeit softly.

“Can I try something?” Tony breathed the question.

Azra tried to kiss him again, so he let him and decided to try and see if he could do just this one more thing. He paused his gyrations and fumbled with Azra’s button and fly. Azra started to kiss Tony on the neck, though not nearly as forcefully as he had. It was easy to find his goal in his boyfriend’s tight boxer briefs. The moment his bare hand took hold of Azra’s shaft, the blonde gasped. He waited for a ‘no’ and when none came, only more kissing, he began to stroke him there. Azra moaned louder now, all of his attempts at necking paused as he felt another person touch him for the first time. It was better, somehow, than when he did it himself, he thought. Soon he was able to lean up and take Tony’s mouth in his again. He was humping against the red-head’s hand without meaning to, and Tony couldn’t help but smile.

While Tony began his work suckling on Azra’s ear, the blonde began to lick and suck on his throat again, harder, more passionately this time. He covered Tony’s neck in them.

“Do mine too,” Tony groaned. He unfastened his own fly and took Azra’s hand. “Please, Angel…”

Azra was shy but still his hand took him confidently. He found it curious that Tony wasn’t circumcised even as he himself was. He didn’t notice that he fingered the extra skin as he masturbated his boyfriend, but it was all Tony could do not to tear Azra’s clothes the rest of the way off. He hadn’t ever tried mutual masturbation before and now he was damn sure glad that he did. They were both groaning into each other’s mouths working each other to the best of their abilities. Tony thought Azra looked downright beautiful with his sapphire eyes full of ecstasy tears and his hair strewn around him on the pillow. And Azra, well, he could barely see though the tears, but Tony’s hair was soft on his cheek and he felt those hazel eyes burning passion into him.

“T-Tony...” Azra finally moaned, not at all too soon. “I’m going to come…!”

“Yeah, me too.”

They both quickened their pace. Azra arrived first, covering both of their fronts, and tightening his grip a bit too much. Tony groaned behind his teeth and thrust himself against Azra’s hand involuntarily. The blonde let go, worn out, so the red-head took over. Soon he’d climaxed too, looking down at Azra’s naked torso below him. He was skinny and toned, sure, but his skin was so smooth, like porcelain, but pink with blush. That skin did way more for him than those abs ever would. Azra was slick with come. It was time to clean up, but all Tony wanted to do was lay close to his angel and sleep.

He gave Azra a small kiss before retreating to the bathroom for a wet washcloth. This wasn’t how he thought the night would end and he felt like he was smiling like an idiot. The lamp was on and Azra was sitting on the edge of the bed when he returned, touching and looking at the semen on his chest and abdomen. Tony reveled in the red marks around Azra’s throat and shoulders the way he had at his own in the mirror just moments ago.

“Here you go, Angel,” he said kneeling. He wiped the mess clean and gazed up at the beauty before him. “I’m ready to sleep, what’d’ya say?”

“Yeah, that sounds nice. You said you have pajamas?”

They got changed and Tony’s sleep pants fit Azra pretty well. They weren’t too different in size, he supposed, and Azra felt a little better about his weight. Tony turned the television on for background noise and soon they were in bed, Azra cuddled close. What a wonderful night it had been.

Chapter Text

VII.

The wake-up call came too soon, Tony thought, as the two young men cuddled together, but it was already ten and they would need to check out soon. Azra sat on the edge of the bed and combed his hair with his fingers sleepily. Tony dug in his overnight bag, looking for the hairbrush he thought he’d remembered packing. Azra watched him now, a small smile across his lips. Tony looked a mess, he thought, but it was an awfully sexy mess.

“Tony, did you bring a change of clothes?”

“Obviously. Why?”

Azra sighed and went over to his boyfriend. “Well, you see I am ill-prepared as I wasn’t given the appropriate information for our evening.”

“Shhhhhit.”

Azra giggled. “I’d rather not wear pajamas and my suit will be beyond wrinkled. Not to mention the stains on my shirt.”

Tony reached up and tidied the blonde’s hair a bit more. “See if my things fit you, Angel. I don’t mind being out in my jammies.” Tony pulled out some black jeans and a t-shirt, handing them over. “If we need to come up with a plan B, let me know.”

Azra disappeared into the bathroom while Tony called downstairs for a toothbrush. Boy were Tony’s pants ever tight, the younger man thought. He could hardly button them. At least the t-shirt, while still snug fit a little better. When he looked in the full-length mirror he felt even more uncomfortable in his taller, skinnier, boyfriend’s clothing. He saw the rolls, the muffin top, and the man-boobs. He wanted to cry. He wasn’t mad about the overnight surprise, but he was upset that he’d been unable to prepare for it. How could he go into the room looking like Blob from X-Men? How would Tony even want to stay with him looking like this?

“Angel, the housekeeper brought up a toothbrush for you to use. Decent?” He started to open the bathroom door when Azra used his full weight to slam it shut. “There’s no way you’re still changing.”

“What was plan B?” Azra asked, unable to hide the panic in his voice.

“They not fit? I guess we are different body types….”

“I don’t think that has anything to do with it.”

“Well, let’s brush our teeth while we decide a new course of action.”

“I should put my pajamas back on first.”

“I feel like you might be overreacting. Let’s get a look at ya.”

“I don’t want you to see me like this.”

“I saw plenty of ya last night-”

“It was dark!” Azra shrieked.

He heard Tony let out a loud sigh. “Fine. Change, but we gotta be out of here in half an hour.”

Azra really did want to cry now. He peeled the black clothing off and replaced them with the looser-fitting ones, finally opening the door. Tony handed him the toothbrush, wrapped in its packaging still and Azra the clothes, folded neatly to Tony. Tony wrapped his free arm around Azra, pulling their fronts together.

“I really messed this all up, didn’t I?”

Azra pressed his face into the taller man’s shoulder. “You just didn’t check all your boxes. It happens to the best of us.”

“I really never thought of a plan B….”

Azra smirked. “If you drop me off at my flat, then I suppose sleep clothes are fine. I can shower and change then.”

“I could stay over.”

“Maybe. Jess and Lauren are coming over to study tonight, if you don’t mind that.”

“Nope.” Azra looked up at him and he pressed and kiss to the pale forehead. “Not at all.”

Azra went to the bathroom to shower as soon as they made it back to his flat. As the water heated he stepped on the scale. His heart sank. In less than a week he had gained half a stone. He would need to get serious again. He hadn’t been watching his diet as closely ever since he started dating Tony and he wasn’t about to get fat again and lose him. It was bad enough he still hadn’t reached his goal weight, but now... He was discouraged, but needed to think about it another time. Homework needed to be done before the girls arrived for their study session.

Tony had run home to gather his own books, and they sat on the floor of Azra’s living room, doing their own work on the coffee table. Azra had made tea, and Tony poured himself some hot water for his instant coffee. For lunch Azra made cucumber sandwiches, which Tony wasn’t excited about but at least it was food.

Their study session lasted late into the night, but the girls did have a dorm curfew of 2:30. By the time they left Azra and Tony were both pretty tired. It had been a while since Tony had put in a full day on schoolwork. They kissed goodbye, Tony promising some hot tea in the morning. As soon as the door was closed Azra cleaned up and then moved the coffee table out of the way. He proceeded to spend the next hour doing burpees, sit-ups, lunges, squats, and mountain climbers. He wanted to go for a run, but that wasn’t something he was comfortable with doing after dark.

He slept hard that night, reluctantly waking up three hours later with his alarm, ready to go for his morning run. He went twice as far, making it back to his flat as the sun started to rise. He would have just enough time to shower and change before Tony arrived. Luckily the cold weather and pumping blood woke him up.

Once Tony dropped him home that afternoon he went on another run, knowing he’d have time for another good one before Tony got back from the greenhouse. He had an apple in his teeth when Tony knocked on the door. He was still red-faced and sweating from his run, but Tony paid it no mind, thinking Azra had just missed his morning run. They ate a light dinner together and Azra read one of his literature assignments aloud. Around eight Tony chose to head out, needing to go the library to work on some research. Azra finished his own work, hand-writing an outline and the beginning of a rough draft of his own paper before staying up until two, exercising again. This, or something similar at least, would become their routine for the following week.

One night while Tony was out on the balcony taking care of his plants, Liam and Hans cornered him there. “So, you never told us ‘bout your date,”Liam said, smirking.

“Go on, kiss and tell,” Hans pushed.

“You spent the night, mate. C’mon…”

“Fine. Fine.” Tony stood straight, adjusting the plastic back over the greenery. “It was great.”

“And…?” Hans asked, excited now.

“We had dinner, saw a movie; you know, normal stuff.” They both stared, waiting for more. There had to be more. “And… I might’ve gotten to second base.”

“That’s it? You spent the night with this broad and just got to second base?”

Tony set the watering can down and crossed his arms. “Guys, I’m trying to be respectful of her wishes and she ain’t ready for more’n that. Hell. I wasn’t even expecting to get that far.”

“Didn’t know you was such a gentleman,” Liam said, flatly, disappointed. “Are you gonna at least tell us what she looks like, or is that a secret?”

Tony smiled, thinking of Azra’s adorable face. “So cute,” he began. “The sweetest button nose and the softest hair you’ve ever touched. Even with product in it, her hair is lovely.”

“Brunette?”

“Blonde. Such tight curls too. And her eyes are the most beautiful sapphire blue, guys, shit. I could stare all day if I could. Her skin is pale and soft. Her lips are perfect. I can’t even begin to describe how adorable and perfect and gorgeous she is, like an angel.”

“How’s the rack?” Hans asked, making hand motions over his chest, as if squeezing a nice set of tits.

“Does it matter, really?” Tony asked, not sure how to dodge this question.

Hans shrugged. “Does to me. You must be more of an ass man then. Spill it.”

“Oh fuck, her ass is great!” Tony wished he could tell the whole truth. “So tight and round and bubbly. She runs and her ass is proof.”

“Are we allowed a name?”

“She… wants to keep it secret.” Liam and Hans shared a glance before breaking out in hysterical laughter. “What?”

“I guess she’s ashamed of ya!” Liam guffawed, spit flying from his lips. This was just too funny.

Tony nodded, deciding this was an agreeable excuse. He chuckled. “I guess so, but at least she’s staying with me. That’s enough for now.”

Lucifer leaned out from the living room. “Sounds like you’ve really got a thing for this girl. I hope it’s mutual.”

They all stared at goth for a couple of seconds. Tony’s smile shrank a little. “I do too, mate. I do too.”

Friday Tony and Azra had planned a trip to the mall after classes. Tony had managed to convince the blonde that he needed a TV and DVD player in his flat, so they wouldn’t need to worry about roommates bothering them. They could cuddle and kiss freely, and that was something they both wanted. They’d had nothing but fleeting kisses that week and while Tony was by no means expecting a repeat of last weekend, he was hoping for a good solid make-out session that night.

Tony dropped Azra off as his place today before running to the greenhouse. They’d both decided it would save time and gas that way. Tony always insisted on dropping him at one of their places, because he knew that he’d get very little pruning and charting done with his cute little boyfriend there. Azra curled up and read out of one of his text books, taking notes on a spiral-bound notebook. Liam and Lucy watched television.

“Oy, mate, we don’t gotta turn this down? Not too loud?” Liam asked.

“Oh, no. But thank you. I can read through anything.”

“Right. Let us know.”

“Yes. Of course.”

They went back to their show and Azra’s mind went to wandering, thinking about what he heard Jess and Danny talking about Thursday afternoon between classes. Azra wasn’t part of the conversation initially, but he’d been present all the same. They were gossiping about a girl that Danny shared a science class with. Apparently this girl was also in a couple of Tony’s classes. They were both studying botany and as it would turn out she had a giant crush on the ginger.

“She asked me fer ‘is number,” Danny added once Jessica had finished going on about how unfair it was that someone could show up in pajamas and no make-up be so drop-dead gorgeous.

“Did you give it to her?” Azra asked, stepping across that invisible divide.

Danny shrugged. “I don’t do shit like ’at, not without askin’. Not my number ta give. I got ‘ers to give to ‘im instead.”

“Do you have it on you?” Jess asked.

Danny shook her head. “Nah. I gave it ta Tony last class.”

Azra thought his heart would seize. “So, you say she’s really pretty?”

“Ug! Yeah!” Jess heaved her bag onto her shoulder and they started to walk together. “She’s too pretty. I mean, we have blonde hair, right, Az?” He nodded. “But hers is… just the exact color you’d think when you hear the word. Like a fucking Barbie doll. Blue eyes and everything.” She glanced toward Azra who was unknowingly beginning to look outwardly nervous. “Not as nice as yours, but…. Lighter? And if only I had boobs like hers. Man! Guys would be lining up….!” She dragged her fingers down her face dramatically. “It’s not faaaair!”

Danny chuckled. “She’s hot. No lie ‘ere. But, I don’t think she’s passin’ ‘cause she’s good at ‘er work, if ya know what I mean.”

Azra looked confused, and Jess disgusted. “I can’t believe people really sleep with the professors for grades.” This came as an all new shock to the boy. She tightened her pony-tail. “You think it’s a movie thing, then you actually make it to university and…” she sighed. “Not everything is fiction.”

“Guys?” Azra asked, taking a sip of water from the bottle at his side.

“Yup?” Lucy responded, not looking away from the show. At some point in his wanderings Hans had shown up and was seated on the floor in front of them.

“Do you think Tony is the type to cheat?”

“Whaaat?” Liam scoffed. “Nah, mate. He’s too smart to need to cheat.”

“I didn’t mean at school…” Azra said quietly.

“Like on his girlfriend?” Hans asked. Azra nodded. “I doubt it. From how he was talkin’ ‘bout her, seems like a hot blonde number. Be a shame to ruin it like that.”

Azra felt his heart’s speed triple. “Really?”

“Yeah. She’s stingy though, so maybe.” Liam added.

“She’s a blonde, you said?” Azra asked, feeling his breath come short and his eyes hot.

“Yep,” Lucifer said. “I wish he’d let us meet her. Sounds too good to be true, ya know?”

“Is she in one of his classes?”

“No idea,” Liam sighed. “He wasn’t sayin’ much.”

“O-Oh… Alright.”

“Why? D’ja see somethin’?”

“N-No. I was just curious.”

Azra finished off his water, forcing his tears back from whence they came. This was just guys talking. He’d heard things like it before. Guys talked big all the time, especially when they were trying to throw a trail or impress their friends. Yes, that had to be it, Azra thought, just locker room talk to look big in front of his friends. Nothing out of the ordinary for straight guys.

Chapter Text

VIII.

The mall was packed. But of course it was. It was Friday night and not only were the college kids out, but so were the high school kids. Tony and Azra decided to eat at the food court before shopping. They had time to look around, as the mall wouldn’t close until ten. Tony went to save a seat while Azra waited in line at the Sbarro for some pizza. Azra felt nervous and guilty looking down at the cheesy, greasy pizza, but there wasn’t much by way of health food here, so it would have to do. He could always blot the grease away with a napkin.

Tony waited patiently, people watching. The teens were out in hoards, flirty, Scene-caked hoards. He wondered how difficult it would be to get all of his hair teased up like that. At least there was still a goth or two in the mix. An emo here or there. It wasn’t so very different from his own high school life. Then he saw Laurel walking up. She’d hardly left him alone since he let her have his number the other day. She liked to text and he didn’t have the phone plan for that.

Azra rounded the corner of the diving half-wall when he was all but forced to stop. There was a gorgeous blond girl sitting across from his boyfriend. The underside of her hair was dyed black and she even had facial piercings. Her make-up was dark too. Even her clothes. Her red plaid skirt would barely cover her bum if she stood and he didn’t see how she’d be warm in a corset and fishnet shirt. She didn’t seem to have any fat on her body. The gloves she wore had no fingers and he could see that she was wearing a leather collar. Her eyes were a shocking ice blue. Tony leaned up like he knew her and they were chatting. Was this her? The hot blonde number? The one Danny and Jessica had been talking about? Was she the one?

He just stared at them. They looked good together, like they belonged. His stomach turned and his chest went tight. The blonde girl reached over and took the red-head’s hand. Hardly a heartbeat passed and Tony had pulled it away, waving dismissively. Azra tried to catch his breath, loosen the tightening of his chest. Just a misunderstanding, he told himself.

“At least that’s what Doctor Pete- Oh, hey Azra!” Tony broke off mid-sentence when Azra set the tray of pizza and drinks down.

“They were out of sausage, so I got pepperoni. I hope that’s alright.”

“Yeah, thanks Ang- Azra.”

“So,” the blonde sat beside Tony trying not to glare daggers into the woman across from them. “Who’s this?”

“Azra, this is my classmate and lab partner, Laurel. Laurel, this is my… good mate, Azra.”

“Oh, so you’re the infamous Azra,” Laurel said, licking at her lip piercing. “Nice to meet you.”

Azra held out his hand to her. “Pleasure,” he said sharply. They shook. “What class do you have together?”

“Botany,” she and Tony said together.

“Jinnx! Ha!” She was a quick one. “We’re lab partners.”

“As he said…” Azra decided he needed to think on her a bit longer. He padded his pizza as dry of grease as he possibly could. “I never see you at the greenhouse.” Though he only ever saw Tony at the greenhouse.

“Different class,” Tony responded. “We’ve been dissecting succulents all semester. I should take you to the lab sometime, Azra, and show you the slides.”

“That sounds interesting! It’s been ages since I used a microscope.” Azra took the smallest bite of the salty, cheesy goodness. It was yummy, and his stomach immediately started screaming greedily at him.

“Too bad no one is allowed in except the class,” Laurel smirked, haughtily. She looked right at Azra as though she knew.

“I’ll sneak you in.” Tony didn’t seem to notice the tone of voice Laurel took. He shoved the pizza in his mouth hungrily. “Everyone else does it.”

“N-No…” Azra sighed, staring at his slice. “I wouldn’t want you in trouble with your professor. It could affect your grade.”

Tony reached over and tucked a wandering curl behind Azra’s ear. “You’re probably right.”

Laurel sucked her teeth suddenly and stood. “Well, I’ll see you in class, Tony. I’m gonna go to Hot Topic.” She heaved her coffin purse onto her shoulder and all but stomped away in her large platform boots.

“Later,” Tony called after her. He took another bite. “Eat up, Angel. We have shopping to get to.”

They each ended up buying a few things other than the appointed television and DVD player, but Azra was happy to have some movies to go along with his purchase. The pizza had been so very good and only served to whet the blonde’s appetite, so they got cinnamon buns on the way out along with some coffee.

Tony knew just what he was doing in hooking up the TV and had it all sorted in less that half an hour. The hardest part had been putting together the TV table they’d bought. A movie went in and soon they were snuggling under one of Azra’s fuzzy blankets in the dark. Only the blue light of the screen lit the room. Azra was so sleepy, and debated napping. Tony had other ideas, though, kissing along the blonde’s neck softly.

Azra giggled quietly, trying to pay attention to the film, but it was too little, too late. Before Azra could even pause the movie Tony pulled his chin up. Lips and tongue. Heated kisses. This wasn’t anything the blonde had planned or expected. He never expected the wanton kisses the red-head gave him, but he always desired them. He wished he could match them, but it was no use. Azra turned to liquid in his boyfriend’s arms every time. Tony’s palm wandered over Azra’s side, teasing the hem of his shirt and he sneaked it up to expose the rapidly heating flesh underneath.

Gasping, Azra pulled away, not really sure why he was stopping. Tony paused, breath heavy and cheeks red, waiting for orders.

“S-Sorry…” Azra was trying to catch his breath.

“Is something wrong? Do I need to stop?”

The blonde closed his eyes and shook his head. “I just need a break…” He licked his lips, still trying to breathe.

Tony bit the inside of his cheek, holding himself back. The look on his gorgeous boyfriend’s face was almost too much to take. If he could, then he would push him down into the floor and take him right here and right now, but it was too soon for the golden-haired beauty and he knew it. Making out was always almost too much. He still couldn’t believe what he’d gotten away with at the hotel. He didn’t know when it would happen again.

Azra moved to stand and Tony had no choice but to relinquish him. Azra tucked the blanket around Tony and finally paused the movie. “How about something to drink? Ice water? Juice? Tea?”

The red-head shook his head and smiled. “I’ll have whatever you have, Angel.”

Azra drank two full glasses of ice water so quickly that it was a literal miracle that he didn’t get a brain freeze, but he came back, slinging his arms around Tony’s shoulders.

“Still plan on keeping me waiting?” Tony asked, taking off his glasses.

Azra didn’t respond. Not with words. Tony’s lips were always a little dry, but not now. Now they were soft, smooth… delicious. Azra chewed them lightly, kissing him the best he knew how, and Tony was excited to feel it. Even when the blonde bit a little too hard, drawing blood, Tony didn’t mind, hardly flinching. Azra panicked, but not for long. Tony didn’t allow it and swallowed him down. The blood and pain spiked some new want in the ginger, and gripped the blonde tight, shoving his hands up his shirt. Why bother being gentle? Especially when Azra was so hot, so sweet and so passionate.

Upon Tony gripping Azra tightly, his hair was balled up Azra’s fists; pulled and tugged ruthlessly, while below his socked feet roamed up and down Tony’s leg gently. The taste of the blood he’d drawn, the way Tony’s arms crushed them together, was almost overwhelming. Azra wasn’t sure what he’d been so worried about.

Saturday’s plans were the same as always: movie’s at Baal’s. When they finally arrived, making a quick stop for soda at the store on the way, they noticed a new face to the group. Laurel waved from the sofa with a smile. Azra felt his whole chest tighten, but he refused to show his concern outwardly. Tony met her wave and flopped sideways on the couch, grabbing a piece of pizza from the box on the coffee table that was pushed against the sofa. Because of this there was no legroom, as usual. Azra sat too, quietly watching everyone chat and get ready to settle in.

“So, how’d you find out about our little movie night?” Tony asked Laurel.

“Oh, Danny mentioned it the other day and invited me along.” She played with the ends of her hair flirtatiously as she spoke.

“You didn’t mention it last night.”

Liam and Hans shared a smirk with this statement.

“Oh, well, I was distracted. You know how it is.”

Hans elbowed Liam and they grinned wider.

“Yeah. So, Bee, what’s on the docket tonight?” Tony asked.

They all went through the motions, chatting, eating and getting into the films. Azra wanted to lean up against Tony in the dark of the room, but he was having to share the couch with a third person, a very forward third person at that. Laurel was curled up half-leaning on Tony and whispering all through the picture. Tony half-ignored her, of course. He was trying to watch the movie. But all it looked like to Azra was flirting. Laurel was definitely going to cross a line, but Azra didn’t know what could possibly be done to prevent it. Azra stared down at his mostly-eaten pizza sadly, not caring about the movie anymore.

They actually looked perfect together, almost like two pieces of the same puzzle.

He abandoned his pizza, feeling sick, and tried his best not to stare, tried his best to fake it and pretend nothing was bothering him. He didn’t stand a chance with her around, he thought. And when he did eventually get sick, he didn’t dare let anyone know. No one even noticed him gone, or so he thought.

Tony’s eyes drifted continuously over to where Azra should have been sitting, wondering if he should go check on him. As he made up his mind and started to move to stand Azra reappeared. He got some water from the kitchen and sat back with the group. He just needed to pretend like everything was fine. Just pretend like he did all through school.

As the night ended and they split up to head home Laurel stopped Tony, glancing back at a sleeping Danielle. “Can you give me a ride? Mine passed out.”

“Can’t you wake her up?” Tony asked, bored with her now.

“You know how she is when she gets woken up. I don’t want her to bite my head off. Please?” Laurel batted her eyelashes and fiddled with the hem of her short tartan skirt. “I know Lucifer doesn’t have anymore room in his car.”

Tony sighed, glancing over at Azra, who was trying very hard to ignore the situation and read a decorative coat of arms certificate on the wall. He scratched at his scalp and met her eyes again, which were big and blue and pleading. He sighed again. “Okay, I can take you back to yours.”

Her entire person lit up with her smile and she hopped outside. “Shotgun!”

“Wai-” Tony began, but decided against it. “Well, ready to go, Azra? Taking Laurel home first.”

Azra nodded, not looking up and crossing his arms. “Don’t forget your jacket,” was all he said until nearly twenty minutes later when Laurel closed the front door of her townhouse apartment behind her. “I’m pretty sleepy, Tony. Ready to head to mine for a bit and have a nightcap?”

“Tea sounds excellent, Angel.” Tony thought Azra was down about something as they’d ridden in the car and also sipped on the soothing bedtime tea, but also noticed that he hadn’t finished his pizza earlier that night either. He wanted to ask, but he felt like he knew. Laurel had taken up all of their time that night. He couldn’t even sneak a hand free to hold onto Azra’s. But he obviously didn’t feel well either. It was apparent from the look on the blonde’s face. When he left he gave him a light kiss on the forehead. “Goodnight, Angel. Get some rest, okay?”

Azra nodded and didn’t even try to kiss him back. “Yeah.”

Sunday Tony called Azra to chat while he took a break in the library. Azra sounded really tired when he answered. Tony made sure he was feeling better and they spoke lazily about school and homework. Azra was laying on top of his yoga mat, book and notebook beside him. He was choosing to multitask since he missed out on his extra workouts the past two days. He’d jog once his homework was done. His diet was of the upmost importance now, if it hadn’t been before.

Tony laughed and joked, trying to get a positive reaction out of his quiet and obviously distracted boyfriend. He managed to get a bit of a chuckle here and there. He decided that Azra really must not feel well and just didn’t want to bother Tony with it. It certainly seemed like something Azra would do. So Tony asked him again how he was feeling, and just got the same response again. He was fine, just tired.

Laurel saw Tony from across the floor and all but jogged over to him, pausing only when she noticed him on the phone. She sat at the computer next to him, making a show of putting her books down and waking up the monitor. This had it’s desired effect. Tony glanced over, his hair fluttering around his face handsomely. She waved and smiled.

“Oh, hey Laurel. Didn’t see you there.”

Azra froze on the ground. “I’ll let you get back to work then.”

“You don’t have to go yet.”

“No, I’m keeping you. Besides, your lab partner’s arrived.”

“That doesn’t-” but the blonde had hung up already, “matter…” He stared at his phone a moment before closing it and shoving it in his bag. He turned back to Laurel. “Come to study, then?”

Tony couldn’t seem to get away from her. If she wasn’t finding him on campus, she was spending extra time in the lab or calling him under the pretense of school, but it always turned into small talk. He humored her, but was getting tired of her. Thursday was no exception. She all but forced him to promise to sit with her when they went to have lunch after class. He normally sat with Danny, Liam, and Hans, but she swore she’d invited them along too.

Azra was glad when he saw that his 11:15 class had been canceled. He had been feeling a little better and he and Tony were sharing sweet kisses every morning and evening again. Still the weekend lingered at the back of his mind, but he knew that if he surprised Tony in the dining hall the day would brighten and maybe that tingling worry that made his stomach cramp would ease.

There wasn’t much by way of healthy eating with any of the options available, but he managed to find a cheap bowl of grapes and a bottle of water. He didn’t normally eat in here and forgot how large the area was. As he strolled around looking for his boyfriend he realized that he didn’t even know if Tony ate in the dining hall for lunch. He was a little worried that this idea was silly, but then out of the corner of his eye he saw the distinct bright auburn. He felt the smile before he even noticed he’d started and headed on over. What a wonderful surprise this would be. All of his worries would go away and--

The guy behind Tony had stood and left showing that familiar blonde and black hair. Laurel was sitting with Tony and her hand traced the top of his fingers gently as she spoke. Azra saw Tony speak to her in return and pull his hand away, but wasn’t close enough to hear the words. She smiled, giggling, and pushed a stray strand of hair behind Tony’s ear.

Azra’s stomach turned. He felt dizzy. He turned and headed out of the hall, sliding his tray off to a random girl before leaving. He almost didn’t make it to the bathroom before he began to dry-heave into the sink. Soon tears followed and he sobbed aloud in-between each lurch of nothing. He really was nothing more than a fool.

The drive to Azra’s flat was quiet that afternoon. Tony definitely noticed how pale Azra was. He’d been sick on an off all week, and Tony was worried that he’d come down with some type of stomach flu or something. It would probably be best to get him home and in bed so that he could get well.

“Maybe you should take a day off tomorrow, Angel. Try and get feeling better, yeah?”

“I really shouldn’t miss class if I don’t need to.” His reply was quiet, so Tony turned the radio off.

“I can tell you don’t feel well. So, go on and take the time off. E-mail your professors, maybe go to the clinic?”

“It’s fine.”

Tony pushed his hand through his hair. “If you say so. But either way you’ll have tomorrow night alone to take care of yourself.”

“What? Why?” Now Tony could hear him fine.

“My mom called, she wants me to come home. My aunt and uncle are having their 30^th anniversary party and I’m expected.”

“An anniversary party?”

“Yeah.”

Azra hung his head. “Well, maybe I will stay home tomorrow.”

Tony pulled into his usual parking spot. “We can watch some TV-”

“That’s okay. You’re right. I don’t feel good. I should take a shower and go to bed early.”

Tony brushed his fingers through Azra’s hair and gave him a quick one-armed hug. “I’ll call you before I get on the road tomorrow, yeah?”

“Okay.”

Azra hadn’t lied. He almost immediately got in the shower, feeling like he would throw up again. What a horrible lie! There was no anniversary party. He may have been a fool but he wasn’t an idiot. Tony probably had a date with Laurel. Why did he ever think he would be good enough for someone so handsome and funny and wonderful? Did he blame him? No. Even he thought Tony and Laurel looked like the perfect couple. Besides, she had quite a few things going for her that he didn’t. Was this kinder than just dumping him? Azra wasn’t sure but he was sure that his stomach and tears wouldn’t calm down anytime soon. He didn’t even manage to e-mail his professors until nearly ten that night, and sleep didn’t come until the sun began to rise.

Chapter Text

IX.

Tony flipped open his mobile and hit the speed dial for Azra. He’d barely made it in the door when the guys told him about the change of plans that night. He’d had to all but beg his mom to let him come back that day at all, so a change of plans wasn’t really a bad thing, just bad timing. He wanted to relax and spend some alone time with his angel. It only rang twice before the beautiful voice chimed on the other end of the line.

“Hello, Tony.”

The red-head smiled wide. “Hey, Angel, how are you feeling this morning?”

“It’s one in the afternoon.”

“The question still stands.”

“Mmh,” Tony could almost see the unsure shrug. “Alright, I suppose. How was the party?”

“Pretty fun. I forgot what a character Uncle Owen was. Mum wouldn’t let me keep an empty cup, so I’ve a bit of a headache.”

“You drink with your parents?”

“Yeah, ever since I was younger. They didn’t see why we needed to wait until eighteen, then when we moved to the States, you can imagine how they feel about the twenty-one law.”

“I can’t even have wine except for very special occasions, like weddings. So, needless to say, my folks would never. My father thinks the UK is too lenient with eighteen and actually likes twenty-one here.” Azra let out the tiniest of giggles.

“Well, I didn’t only want to call and let you know I arrived alright. If you’re feeling up to it, the plans for Baal’s tonight changed.”

“Cancelled?” It figures, thought Azra, another lie to get out of seeing me so he can spend another evening with Laurel. He didn’t have any doubt that she was a harlot, and just thinking about them together made him ill.

“Yeah, we’re meeting up at Jackalope for karaoke. The guys all liked it so much after bowling that one time, you know the time, Angel, that they wanted to go again. That and Baal’s parents are in town and having people over.” Tony chuckled. “Don’t want to cramp her parents’ style.”

Azra was honestly surprised. “Well, as long as Uriel isn’t coming along to get me drunk again.”

“I think you’re good. Hans is the only one with her number.”

“That sounds delightful. I think I’m feeling well enough for Tex-Mex and karaoke.”

“I’ll pick you up at half six?”

“It’s a date.”

Jackalope was busy, but it usually was on Saturdays. This was a college town after all. Baal made sure to take up residence in the corner booth, an area large enough for the seven of them. Lucifer, Liam, and Hans had gone ahead of Tony, since he was picking up Azra, so everyone was seated, save for Danielle when the two boys arrived. Azra and Tony sat, Tony on the outside. Danielle should be able to fit, he thought. The group passed the karaoke and food menus around the table while they waited.

They were almost done making their music selections when the becoming-way-too-familiar coffin purse clanked down on the table. Laurel took the seat reserved for Danny and smiled, getting close to Tony.

“Hey everybody,” she said, looking at the ginger.

“Laurel…” Baal responded.

“I invited myself, hope that’s okay.”

“Anytime, babe,” Liam said, a big, flirtatious smile upon his lips. “I’m surprised Tony didn’t invite you. Rude, Mate.”

“Yeah, well…” Tony shifted uncomfortably, Laurel placing her palm bravely on his thigh. “I didn’t know we were inviting extra people.”

“Whaddya call ‘im?” Danny asked, pointing to Azra. “Not ‘at we dunt love ya.”

“I-It’s fi-”

“No, he always comes to Saturday,” Tony interrupted his boyfriend. “He ain’t extra.”

“Ah, Mate,” Hans piped up. “You don’t gotta be shy. She can always come along with you. After all, you said it yourself, she’s hot.”

“You did?” Laurel asked excitedly, her pitch rising higher. “Oh, Tony, you’re too much!”

“Wait, I did--” Tony started.

“Whatever just pull up an extra chair so Danny can sit down,” Baal sighed.

Lucifer stood, “But first all you fucks need to get up so I can turn in our song sheet.”

“I want to add something,” Laurel said, snatching it from him.

“You’re turning it in then.”

Azra shifted uncomfortably, staring at the wood grain of the heavily lacquered table. His eyes burned, but he didn’t dare let anyone see. He couldn’t believe this was happening right in front of him. When the waitress finally came by he ordered water. He hadn’t had an appetite in days.

“Not hungry?” Tony asked, trying to ignore Laurel’s pawing.

“Not really,” Azra replied. “I ate a little before we came to save some money.”

“I can spot you.”

Azra shook his head, still not looking Tony in the face. “It’s ok. I’m really not hungry.”

“If you say so,” Tony straightened one of the blonde’s curls, devoid of product, and went back to the group conversation. Not that the conversation was of much note. Laurel managed to talk Danny into turning in the song sheet and placed her hand back on Tony’s leg, rubbing gently. “C’mon, cut that out,” he whispered to her, trying not to bring any attention to it. He would hate it if Azra saw.

“You don’t have to pretend.” She squeezed his thigh, getting too close to his dick. “Why don’t you buy me a drink?”

“I don’t have a lot of money.”

“You were going to buy Ezra’s food.”

“It’s Azra, and yeah, we’re good mates.”

“Just one drink?” She moved her hand up further, actually touching something this time.

The ginger immediately reached down and pulled her hand off of him, setting it on the table. He left his over hers, keeping place of it so it wouldn’t wander again. Both Azra and Laurel took this differently than Tony intended. He just wanted her to stop touching him. He didn’t want to be mean to her, but he also needed her to stop flirting. With everyone here, he couldn’t exactly say he was dating someone. He had no way of explaining himself out of that mess without either outing Azra, or trying to convince everyone that the person he was seeing didn’t want to spend Saturday night with him. What was he supposed to do?

Azra’s cheeks flared red at the touch of Tony’s hand to Laurel’s. He didn’t know what to think. He wanted to yell at him, but he wanted to cry. But he couldn’t do either. Laurel, on the other hand, was outright giddy. She cuddled closer to Tony. She thought it was adorable how shy he was being around his friends. Maybe one day soon he would actually ask her out. She could hardly wait. She knew she could ask him first, but she wanted it the other way around. Perhaps her song choice for karaoke would be a good enough hint of what she wanted. Assuming boys even took hints.

Everyone got a drink that was old enough, even Laurel, who’d managed to talk Tony into getting it for her. Even though Azra didn’t want anything, Tony bought him a virgin strawberry daiquiri. Azra appreciated it and did enjoy the flavor, but he just didn’t want food, especially something unhealthy.

The DJ was starting to call out names and before long half of their table had gone. Tony sang some Queen, as to be expected, then it was Azra’s turn. There was a song he’d been really enjoying lately, and actually purchased the CD recently. This song was one of the few that actually made him feel even a little better the past couple of weeks.

“I’m comin’ outta my cage

and I’ve been doing just fine!

Gotta, gotta be down

because I want it all.

It started out with a kiss,

how did it end up like this?

It was only a kiss

it was only a kiss!”

Of course, this song was popular, so the rest of the bar kind of sang along with him. Tony forgot that Azra listened to non-classical music too. He was more of a classic rock man himself, but this was a newer one that he liked whenever it came on. Azra stayed standing, not wanting to sit without Tony. They stood together with Laurel as Danielle went up to the stand and began her song. Of course she would sing some Flyleaf. The music fit her so well.

Then it was Laurel’s turn. She was the last of their group to go even if Liam and Hans were already perusing the song menu for something to sing together later on. She flipped her hair and it was almost embarrassing how unashamed she was of her tiny skirt. At least she had on fishnets and boots to cover herself a bit more. It wasn’t even warm outside yet.

Her look caught the attention of everyone in the room and the DJ was certainly enjoying the view.

“I love myself

I want you to love me

When I feel down

I want you above me

I search myself

I want you to find me

I forget myself

I want you to find me”

“Not this song…” Danny grumbled from Azra’s side. “Gross.”

“I don’t want anybody else

When I think about you

I touch myself

Oh, I don’t want anybody else”

She was dancing sensually and even placing her hand over her crotch, all the while looking right at Tony. Azra made it through the next verse before he decided he was done. Forget it. Forget this night. Forget everything.

He grabbed his jumper from the booth and headed out the door. By the time he was out the door Tony was following, stopping only for his jacket and nothing else. Once in the parking lot, Azra was already out to the sidewalk.

“Angel! Wait!” Azra stopped and waited, glaring his way. Tony’d never seen that look on his face before. He took the blonde’s wrist and pulled him off of the sidewalk and into the grass nearby. “Where are you going?”

“I’m going home.”

“What? Why?” Azra shook his wrist from Tony’s grasp and turned his back to him. “Angel?”

“I don’t feel well.”

“Then why are you walking? You should’ve just told me. I don’t mind taking you home. It’s a long way back to your flat from here.”

“Just go back inside. Have fun.”

“Wait. Is this about Laurel? I swear, she can’t take a--”

Azra whirled back around, eyes full of tears that had yet to fall. “Of course this is about Laurel!” It was a whisper, but it was also a scream.

“She’s won’t stop. I’ve asked her--”

“I know you’re seeing her! You could have at least broken up with me first…!”

“No, Angel--”

“I know I’m stingy and I know I’ve gained weight. You were probably never serious about me either way. Was I just an experiment? Don’t like boys after all?”

“Angel—”

“It doesn’t matter anyway…! I knew it was too good to be true. When Liam and Hans told me you were seeing a ‘hot blonde number’… I knew it was over…” The tears finally broke through and fell softly down his soft cheeks. “That date… was a parting gesture. I was hoping… Laurel is perfect for you. You look so good together. I’ll never stand a chance..!”

“Angel—”

“I’m a man, so of course not me! I’m never going to be good enough for someone like you…! I can’t believe I ever thought--”

Tony grabbed his face and kissed him hard, only to be shoved away.

“No! No! Don’t try to distract me! Don’t…”

His sobs broke through his words, stifling them. They were relentless, wracking his whole body. He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, just standing there crying. Tony had no idea any of these things were going through his head. He didn’t know how to fix it. Hell, he hadn’t even done anything wrong.

Slowly, the ginger placed his hands on Azra’s upper arms, rubbing gently. He was trying not to panic. “Angel, please. Please listen to me. Azra, please.” The blonde bit his lip and forced himself to lower his hands to his mouth, in loose fists now, making himself look at Tony. Tony wasn’t sure where to start. “Well, first off…” What had Azra mentioned? “I did tell my roommates about a hot blonde I’ve been seeing. I just may have lied a little about the pronouns.”

Azra couldn’t get those puzzle pieces to fit quite right. Something about that sentence just didn’t make sense to him.

Tony smirked. “How could someone as clever as you be so stupid?” He used the sleeve of his jacket to help wipe the tears from his angel’s face. “The ‘hot blonde number’ I was talking about was you.”

“But Laurel--”

“Is irritating. Yeah, she’s blonde. It was bad timing. I swear, Angel, she’s just my lab partner, whether she wants just that or not. If I knew she’d be like this, I never would’ve given her my number for, as she put it, homework. Seeing her at the mall was just a coincidence. I didn’t even know she was coming out tonight, or any of the movie nights.” Azra lowered his hands and grasped them together in front of him. He was still crying quietly, trying to stop them.

“Then why were you holding her hand?”

“So, she’d stop trying to grope me.”

“And in the cafeteria?”

“When in the cafeteria?”

“I was going to have lunch with you, surprise you, and she was sitting with you. She was holding your hand… I just left…”

“I don’t know when you’re talking about, but every time she tries to touch me, I pull away. I’ve told her a few times that I’m dating someone, but she thinks I’m lying and playing hard to get.”

“So, you really were with your family last night?”

“What? Yeah. Where else would I have gone?”

Azra held his hands tighter. “I thought you’d gone to be with her.”

Tony sighed. “I’ve never thought of her that way, Angel. I swear it.”

Azra wiped his nose on his sleeve, sniffling. “Really?”

“We haven’t been together long; I know that, but I care about you so much. I think about you all the time. My aunts were even asking who you were at the party, since I started talking about you when I was drunk. You were never an experiment. I think you’re so sexy. I wish I knew how I could get you to believe me.”

“I-I have a hard time believing that anyone would find me attractive. I don’t think I can believe that you find me sexy. I’ve been getting fat, and then… this, this right here. My self-esteem. It can’t be fun to be around me, let alone look at. I--”

“Stop. Stop, Angel. You’re rambling. Calm down, Angel. Please.”

“I don’t want to lose you, Tony, and then I go and do this. I really am stupid. Seriously, what do you see in me?”

Tony wrapped him in a long, tight hug, before taking his hand and leading him to his car. “It’s okay, I’m pretty stupid too.” Azra leaned against the car, chuckling through his tears. “Look at me. Not a car key in sight.”

“Come over mine?”

“Oh, definitely.” Tony kissed him gently and they smiled, kissing again, deeper this time. It was longer and sweeter, and warmer.

Laurel stood just outside the restaurant's entrance, mouth agape. Baal stood beside her, expressionless. “Oh my god,” Laurel gasped. Her shock flickered from angry to sly in seconds. “I can’t wait to tell-”

Baal slammed her against the wall. She may have been small, but she was mighty. “No. This is theirs to tell. If you tell a soul, I will beat the ever living shit out of you. Do you understand?”

“How would you even know it was me?

Baal rose an eyebrow. “Because we’re the only two out here, the only two to know, and I ain’t tellin’ nobody. Not even my boyfriend. So, it’ll be obvious, you stupid slut. Besides, I thought you liked Tony. Don’t like him as much as you thought if you’re willing to out him just for revenge on a little rejection.”

Laurel gritted her teeth. “Fine. I won’t tell anyone.”

Tony flitted in and back out, slapping a couple of twenties on the table after grabbing his keys. He rambled off some excuse about Azra not feeling well. The drive to Azra’s was quiet, only the radio playing, but nice. Once at the blonde’s there was tea to be had and a movie to watch. Of course they made out a little, and spent their first night sleeping in the same bed at one of their flats.

“I could go to sleep like this every night,” Azra sighed quietly, and they cuddled close. Soon they were sound sleep.

Chapter Text

X.

March.

Well, to be more accurate, the end of March. Basically April. Tony and Azra were spending a lot of time together, studying and kissing. Azra would cook for them and they would watch movies and cuddle. Nothing exciting, really. Unless you count midterms as exciting. They just had to wait for April 7^th. That was the Friday that Spring Break would start.

Tony and Azra sat cuddling on the blonde’s futon watching Harry Potter: The Goblet of Fire, which had just come out at the beginning of the month. Azra was caught up on all the books and Tony was being forced to read them too. They’d already had a marathon of the first three movies the weekend before so at least Tony would know what was going on.

Harry was just getting started on the first task when Azra’s land line rang. He disappeared into the kitchen. Tony could barely hear a quiet conversation with what seemed to be Azra’s mother. There also seemed to be a long bargaining going on. It wasn’t quite an argument, but they were having trouble agreeing about something. Azra thanked his mom and hung up, looking slightly relieved, yet irritated at the same time.

“What’s goin’ on?” The red-head asked.

“Mum wants me to come home earlier than we agreed for Spring Break.”

“How much earlier? Wasn’t she buying your ticket for Sunday night?”

“She was.” Azra sat. “That is until she realized my birthday is that Friday. She wanted me to come home right after my last class. She even found a plane that would give us the perfect timing to get there and for me to get through security.”

“Waitwaitwait. Go back. What was that about your birthday?”

“It’s on the seventh. Didn’t I tell you?”

“You said it was in April but not which day. That’s so soon, Angel.”

“I’m sorry, I thought I told you. But anyway, I told her that would just stress me out and that I wanted to spend my twenty-first birthday with my friends. It took some convincing, but we agreed on Saturday night, and then I’ll be flying back Easter evening. I’m glad it’s only a four-hour flight.”

“Well, shit. What did you want to do for your birthday, Angel?”

“I’m fine with our regular movie night. I can invite Jessica and Lauren along.”

“You sure?”

Azra nodded. “I’m easy.”

Tony nodded back and pulled his boyfriend over, playing the movie. He didn’t pay too much attention though. He was going to do more for his angel than a normal, lousy, movie night.

Azra sighed, finally walking out of his last mid-term. He was excited for that night, even if it wouldn’t be too special. Maybe he would go by the store on the way to Baal’s and buy his first bottle of wine. Maybe after, he could convince Tony to spend the night, in order to spend as much time with him as possible before leaving for a week. Tony had told him he had a surprise for him, so he wondered what sort of birthday gift he’d gotten for him.

Tony arrived at Azra’s flat at the usual time. He had a sneaky, devious smile on his face that the blonde immediately equated to him hiding the surprise. Azra decided not to ask to go by the store and see what his lovely boyfriend had up those black sleeves of his. When Tony turned the wrong direction Azra’s curiosity grew. Why were they headed to the red-head’s flat? He chose to go with it, not asking even when Tony looked at him, expecting a question. He enjoyed the ride until his boyfriend parked.

“So we’re having movie night at yours?”

“Sort of.”

“Did you invite more people over than just Lauren and Jess?”

“I might’ve.”

The blonde smiled cutely, melting the red-head’s heart. “Well, let’s go in, Tony.”

Tony was sure to stay ahead of them all the way to the door and fiddled noisily with the keys in the lock before stepping out of the way to open it. If the blonde hadn’t figured it out before, he had now. Upon stepping past the threshold, their groups of friends appeared from behind the furniture with a loud a happy “Surprise!” immediately followed by the stereo turning on to rock music.

A birthday cake sat on the kitchen counter and there were enough crisps and alcohol to last hours. They had Guitar Hero set up in front of the television, and someone had their iPod plugged into the stereo. Azra guessed it was probably Hans’ because the case was covered in little demon frogs. Azra’s smile ran ear to ear and he was sure to thank everyone as they wished him a happy birthday. Lucifer poured a beer and handed it over, encouraging Azra to chug it before the party really made way.

Sanford and Uriel were already on the couch, each a Solo cup in hand. Azra joined them shortly, while Tony poured everyone a round of drinks. Liam and Baal were soon deep into a playlist on Guitar Hero, and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves, Sanford included. He even took a shot playing a song on the guitar, not doing well, but not failing out either.

The night went on, Azra being sure to socialize, even in his quickly drunken state. Baal struggled to set up an extra table for beer pong, which became a popular game. Azra wasn’t brave enough to try. He wanted to dance with the girls instead. Jess, Uriel, and Lauren were more than happy to dance along as well. Hans even let Uriel buy new songs on the iPod, which he would later mildly regret. Though none of the guys were all too upset when “Hips Don’t Lie” by Shakira came on and the ladies all shook their butts. Tony liked his view as well, because Azra was drunk enough to do the same. “Buttons” and “I Write Sins Not Tragedies” were also a hit with the dancers. Even Lucifer was watching, ignoring Baal completely. The whole crowd, including Sanford, who’d somehow not gotten sick of the drunken frivolity, enjoyed “Dance Dance” and “Smack That”.

Once Azra was ready to tuck into the cake they sung and let him blow out the candles. He giggled when he didn’t get them all in the first breath. Tony wanted to just bundle him up in his arms and kiss him, but he knew better. He was just adoring how cute and pink his cheeks were and how bubbly he was. This was the kind of birthday he was hoping for his precious angel.

Shortly after midnight Azra excused himself to the balcony to feel the cool air and try to sober up at least a little. He had a stomach full of cake and potato crisps, so he was already feeling a little less drunk. He’d already said goodbye to Uriel and Sanford, who both had early flights in the morning. The street below was quiet, especially in comparison to the party raging inside. Tony had uncovered his plants so Azra finally got a look at them, may of which were starting to blossom. Tonight had been so fun so far. Tony really had sneaked quite a deal up his sleeve.

He smiled widely when he heard the door slide open, expecting his wonderful boyfriend. Out here he’d be able to give him a proper thank you kiss. The only reason he hadn’t invited him out in the first place was because he was busy playing Guitar Hero with Baal. But it wasn’t Tony after all. Lucifer stood, lighting up a clove cigarette.

“Hey,” he said to the blond, smirking.

“Hello,” Azra responded, watching the smoke waft away from them.

“Happy birthday.”

“Thank you.”

The silence was awkward while Lucifer finished his cigarette, only ending when he flicked the butt out onto the grass below. “Saw you dancing in there. Who knew you had moves.”

“Oh, I don’t really. I was just having a bit of fun with the girls.” Azra leaned against the railing. “You’re pretty good at that guitar video game.”

Lucifer stood close behind Azra, looking briefly over his head at the sky above. “Guitar Hero? Ah well, I play it a lot.”

“I’m not any good at video games.”

“You’re good at other things, though right?”

“Yes, I suppose I am.”

“You’ve got a lot going for you.”

The blonde turned back smiling up at the black-haired goth. “Mostly just cooking and reading.”

“Tony’s mentioned how smart you are. Don’t play it off.”

Azra brushed his hair behind his ear as a breeze passed them. “That’s sweet! I didn’t know he spoke about me with his friends.”

“I always thought it was weird how into you he seems, but after tonight I get it.”

Azra’s smile dropped in an instant. “Excuse me? W-What was that?”

“You don’t have a girl, do you?”

“No…”

“Me neither.”

“What? But I thought you and Baal-”

“We broke up a couple weeks ago. Decided to be friends instead.”

“Oh my, I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Ah whatever. It was pretty much mutual anyways.” He placed his hand on the railing just behind the blonde. “Besides, I have my sights set on someone else now.”

“That’s good. Is she very pretty? Do I know her?”

“Yeah to both.”

“I think Uriel has a thing for Hans, to be completely honest with you.”

“It’s not her.”

“Jess? She has a boyfriend now.”

“Not her. Lauren neither. And don’t even mention Danielle. I’ve known her way too long to want any of that.”

“I don’t think we both know any other-”

“God, I didn’t think you’d actually be an idiot.”

“I’m sorry?”

“That’s better anyway.” Lucy grabbed Azra quickly around the waist and then gripped his hair tightly in his fist, forcing them closer together. “I kinda like dumb guys.”

His lips were on Azra’s before the blonde could even think. He pressed them hard, massaging and encouraging, but Azra didn’t reciprocate. He was too shocked to. Too drunk to think that quickly. It wasn’t until the brunette reached down to massage his butt that Azra could even move. He tried to turn his head, to shove the taller man away, but was unable. Lucifer’s arms were tight and relentless. He didn’t look this strong. Azra fought harder, groaning in frustration. Lucifer managed to force his tongue past the smaller man’s lips, and then Azra finally found his chance. He bit down hard on Lucifer’s tongue, drawing blood, the copper taste of it filling his mouth as quickly as the taste of Lucy’s cigarettes had.

Lucifer cursed loudly, falling away and holding his jaw. His tongue lolled out, covered in thick crimson. Azra wiped his mouth frantically, smearing blood across it, before he darted off of the balcony and through the living room. He’d hardly made it out the front door when Tony paused the game, tossing the guitar controller to Liam. He caught up to his boyfriend quickly, though the younger had stopped right at the entrance to the lift. Tony took him by the arm as the doors started to buzz in warning, and they closed softly behind them once he’d pulled him gently towards him. The red-head saw the tears in his eyes, the red of his cheeks, and the blood across his lips before he’d even had a question form in his mind.

“Who did this to you? What happened? Why are you bleeding?” Tony asked frantically.

“It’s not mine…” Then the tears broke free. “I’m sorry.” He tried to wipe them away with the palm of his hand. “I don’t want to ruin the party. You can just leave me out here until I calm-”

“Who. Did. This.”

“I-It’s nothing, My Dear.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I-It’s nothing. Lucifer was just teasing me, I’m sure. He couldn’t have meant any harm.”

“Lucy?!” Tony roared as he turned but Azra caught his arm.

“I’m sure he was only trying to be funny, My Dear, it’s just I’m drunk and-”

“Tell me what happened, right now!”

The blonde flinched back, releasing his boyfriend. He’d never, ever, seen him angry before. He was so surprised, in fact, that his tears stopped cold. “I was o-on the balcony - please don’t be mad - and Lucifer came out to smoke. H-he was saying he liked someone… and… well…”

Tony was shaking, trying to hold himself back. “Well?”

“He… He came up and… andhekissedmeandwouldn’tletmego. I-I had to bite him to snap him out of it. Tony, wait!” The red-head was already marching back inside. The younger jogged behind him. “Tony, come on…!”

No sooner had Tony entered the flat did he start scanning the room for the goth. Luckily the place was pretty small. He spotted him by beer pong, talking to Danny with a piece of ice poking from his lips with each word spoken. Tony flew over.

“Crowley, what’s got your panties in a-” His fist was sure and true, hitting its intended target: Lucifer’s left jaw. He fell to the side, almost toppling and looked at Tony aghast. “What the hell was that for?”

Tony was close to Lucy, his voice too low to be heard over the music. “Don’t fucking touch Azra. Ever. Again.”

A light-bulb seemed to go off over Lucifer’s head as all the pieces fell together. “Oh, shit, Crowley. Sorry. I didn’t know. Just wanted to get my dick wet.”

Tony was ready to hit him again. Those that noticed the scuffle were highly amused at Lucifer’s bewildered expression, and Azra was there to stop Tony’s fist from landing any more punches. Azra tugged him gently, getting him to move back and whispered calmly, any tears now gone as his strength surfaced. “It was only a kiss, Tony. Only a kiss.” Tony stood and let himself be relaxed by his boyfriend’s soothing voice. “Let’s go get some more cake, yeah?”

“Cake? Yeah, sounds good.” He paused after he turned to go the kitchen. “Lucy? The second my lease is up I’m moving out of here.”

“Fair enough,” the goth responded, sitting in a nearby folding chair. He rubbed his jaw. “Fair enough.”

They finished their cake and Azra led Tony to his bedroom. They each had a plastic cup in hand, as they sat on the edge of the bed.

“You know, you can go enjoy your party, Angel. I’m sure Lucy’ll leave you alone now. You can hang out with the girls.”

“I don’t think they’re even sober enough to have a real conversation anymore.”

“You could still dance with them.”

Azra shook his head and drank some of his rum and coke. “I think I’m done dancing. I’d like to spend the rest of the night with you instead.”

Tony set his beer down and smirked. “With me, eh?”

Azra blushed. “Why not? It’s my party, isn’t it? I can do whatever I want.”

“Well, what do you want, then?”

The blonde’s cup joined the ginger’s and he scooted closer. “I want you to kiss me, My Dear.”

Tony leaned in, taking the back of Azra’s head gently in hand. “Anything you say, Angel.”

The kisses were hot and long, no tongue needed. Not yet. Tony wrapped the younger man in his arms, tightly, both gasping against each other. They were out of breath already, with just something so simple. They stopped, just gazing into each other’s eyes. Azra loved being in his boyfriend’s arms, held close. He felt wanted, and important, and adored. He prayed all those feelings were true.

“You know, Angel, I don’t think I’ve ever heard you call me that before tonight.”

“Call you what?”

“You didn’t realize? You keep saying ‘My Dear’.”

Azra cuddled up to Tony, resting his forehead against his throat. “You’re right, I didn’t notice. I’m sorry. Do you hate it?”

“Just the opposite. I love to hear it.”

“Well then, My Dear,” the blonde looked back up. “Why stop kissing me?”

“You’re right, Angel.”

This kiss was immediately more passionate. Azra’s hands gripped tight to his boyfriend as Tony’s trailed up and down the blonde’s back, sneaking quick brushes of fingertips to skin at the bottom of his shirt. Those very fingertips were hot, and made Azra’s heart race. Tony broke free, only to pull Azra atop him further onto the bed. Azra was greedy with his kissing now, nibbling and biting at Tony’s lips. His hands roamed the ginger’s chest, gripping here and there at the cloth. Their bodies brushing against each other over and over again. He soon felt the growing heat of Tony’s erection against his thigh and he moved against it. This made Tony grip him tighter, groaning in his throat. It was painful for him, but he broke their kiss to speak, breath heavy, voice quiet.

“You can touch it if you want.”

Azra paused, breathing hard and gazing down longingly at him. “Mine too, Dear.”

Their hands were quick, though Azra’s still unsure. He’d only ever touched the other’s once, way back in February, and he didn’t know if he’d live up to his boyfriend’s expectations. But he could barely even think about that as their skin touched, and they both felt that heat. Rubbing and gasping and thrusting against each other, Azra moaned aloud. Tony pressed their lips back together and this time they lingered through their gasps and moans. Azra was sweating, especially trapped between Tony’s thin thighs. Holding himself up was a struggle, but he couldn’t stop, wouldn’t stop.

This was a new feeling for Tony as well, though they’d done this before. It was great to feel Azra on top of him, taking control, feeling his fist in the sheets below him. Feeling how tight and thorough his other hand had become around him and he wondered if this was how the blonde touched himself. Just that image was sending him over the edge and he came first, embarrassed, but laughing. Azra was almost shocked to feel the cum on his hand, but Tony didn’t allow him to be distracted by that for long and stroked him more fervently. Azra thrust almost in time to his hand and soon dirtied the both of them, crying out with the filthiest moan Tony had heard from him yet, though luckily into the pillow below them, so that only someone lingering with their ear to the door would be able to hear it.

They kissed again, tongues as hot as ever as they both tried desperately to compose themselves. Their hands and arms holding tight to one another. Tony rolled them over, pressing Azra into the mattress and getting a better hold to him, as to not let go. Azra liked the feeling of Tony wrapped around him. He knew he was safe in his arms, in his bed. As their breathing finally calmed down, they were able to look into each other’s eyes.

“I wish you didn’t have to leave tomorrow,” Tony whispered.

“I’ll only be gone one week, My Dear.”

“But, Angel, I want to hear you call me that every day.”

“My parents have a phone,” he giggled, playing with Tony’s long hair.

“It’s not the same, Angel.”

Azra just smiled and gazed at his handsome boyfriend. “Let’s think about that tomorrow.”

Tony kissed him. “I hope tomorrow never comes.”

Chapter Text

XI

There were only a few days left of the semester. The weeks after Spring Break had been something, for sure. It was as though all of the professors pulled out all the stops, and the boys were bombarded with schoolwork. Finals were hectic, stressful, and time-consuming as well. Saturday’s party was just on the horizon. Tony and Azra had barely seen one another for two weeks, what with all the end-of-term papers and of course all of the studying. Today Tony and his roommates had a little bit of free time while they waited for their Chinese delivery to arrive.

“So,” Liam asked, tapping away at the PSP in his hands. “Have you and your mystery girl done the deed yet?”

“Yeah, mate,” Hans added. “We thought you and Laurel were an item, but that was wrong.”

“First of all,” Tony said, “None of your fuckin’ business.” He smirked. “And second, I told you she’s a virgin. I’m waiting for her to be ready.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, she’s special. You don’t understand.”

“If she’s so special,” Liam asked, “Then why haven’t we, your very best friends, met ‘er yet? Not even ‘er name.”

“It’s complicated… When she lets me tell you, I definitely will.”

“Whipped.”

“Yeah, probably.”

“She’s probably just too shy to make a move, yeah? Just try a little somethin’ yourself.”

“She’s up for intimate stuff, but I really don’t think she’s ready for that step yet, guys.”

“Bloody hell, have you even tried ?” Hans asked.

“To be honest, I’ve never taken someone’s v-card before, and I don’t want to hurt her.”

“Oh, so you’re the chicken?” Hans laughed.

“Shut it! It’s not funny, you wanker.”

“Want any tips?” Liam asked calmly. He continued to tap away at his game. “I’ve done it a couple of times.”

“I don’t know if you’ll have the sort of tips I’ll need…”

“A cunt’s a cunt, innit?” Hans asked, matter-of-factly.

“You’re an idiot,” Liam chuckled.

“Well, if we ever get to third base, I’ll let you know,” Tony said, a sigh to his voice. The buzzer rang. “Well, food’s here.”

Friday arrived faster than they all thought. This was more of a relief than they’d realized. And now the party was just a little over twenty-four hours away. That night there was a celebration at the local pizza shop for the university students. There would be a four-movie marathon of “I Know What You Did Last Summer” and “Scream” movies, along with great discounts and bundles. That was the plan for the night.

Azra and Uriel were arriving together a little after the rest of the group. Uriel had volunteered to drive the blonde and Sanford, but the latter hadn’t even been the slightest bit interested. Jessica and Lauren were planning on coming too, but it really depended on their own groups’ plans. Liam and Lucifer had gone out onto the lawn to secure a place with some oversized blankets while there was still room to do so. Before long Danielle and Baal appeared, arms full of pillows. Everyone else was off ordering food.

For a moment Tony didn’t see Azra and was beginning to worry. Maybe he should have gone to pick him up. But then there were those blue eyes, smiling through the crowd. Uriel was clutching his hand in hers, pulling him along. Her free hand waved happily and Hans waved back with the same enthusiasm. Uriel, however, sat with the other girls. Everyone was talking excitedly as the blonde sat, meeting eyes with his red-head.

Before long the wait staff was swarming, dropping off wings, pizza, and buckets of beer and soda everywhere. The sun hadn’t quite set yet, but the opening credits to “I Know What You Did Last Summer” were starting to run.

Azra and Tony sat close, speaking quietly to one another. Just small talk, movie talk. Nothing special. They were just happy to finally see each other and knowing it wouldn’t be interrupted by driving, or studying, or class. It was just them and a movie. They did wish to themselves that the sun would set faster, that the movie was a little darker so they could sit closer. Their only accepted distraction from each other and their fluttering hearts was the fresh pizza in front of them. It’d felt like ages since they last kissed.

As the sequel began a couple of hours later, the wait staff came back around for more than just refills. They sold popcorn, sweets and ice cream. Azra knew he should say no, but it was hot out and the cherry ice pop looked so perfect. Tony didn’t think twice about buying popcorn. He ate it absently. Too quickly his attention had turned completely away from the film. He didn’t even realize he’d started staring. 

The blonde’s lips were plump and red from the ice pop. His tongue too. He ran that tongue around, collecting what threatened to melt and drip. He took it in his mouth, sliding it back out slowly, savoring the sweet, refreshing flavor. 

Was Tony even eating his popcorn anymore? One thing was for sure. He’d had his mind deep in the gutter and his mouth was absolutely watering. He forced himself to swallow his saliva, but then Azra was focusing on trying to eat the end struck near the middle of the stick. He placed the stick in his mouth to get that last little bit, leaving the wood clear of the cold, red sweet as he pulled it from his lips.

Shit shit shit, Tony thought loudly. Watch the movie, Crowley. His eyes flickered over to the blonde. There’s no way he did that on purpose, right?

Azra met his eyes briefly. “What’s wrong, Tony?” he asked.

“Uh, well…” Tony shoved a handful of popcorn in his mouth, trying to stall so he could calm down. “I didn’t tell you earlier. You look nice.” It wasn’t a lie, but it also wasn’t the truth.

Azra smiled that bright, adorable, humble smile. “You look good, too.”

Tony desperately needed to get his mind back to street-level. He wanted so badly to bundle Azra up and kiss him hard, press their bodies tight together, and feel his boyfriend’s lovely hands on his cock. Shit, he was so hard he couldn’t focus on the popcorn, or even the teens being slaughtered on screen. He could barely think.

“I’m gonna go take a piss,” he managed to say, walking away before anyone could respond.

The bathroom was empty, thank god, and he turned the sink on full blast, splashing cold water on his face, filling his hands with it over and over and drenching his face and hair. His vain attempt to calm down was absolutely failing. He wasn’t above jacking off in a public restroom, but he wasn’t sure how he would handle it if someone came in and saw him going at it at a urinal. He could go into a stall, he thought, taking too many paper towels to dry himself. He didn’t want to be gone too long either. His mind flooded with excuses, half-thought because of how much he needed to relieve himself. He closed his eyes, trying to concentrate, to decide.

“Tony, are you feeling okay?” Azra asked, closing the door behind him.

Tony’s eyes flew open and he stepped back. “Angel! Yeah, erm…” Shit, he couldn’t form a coherent sentence. Azra had seen all he needed and put all the pieces together.

He took Tony’s hand. “Come with me, My Dear.” He pulled him into the nearby handicapped stall, locking it and pressing Tony to the wall. “I’ve got you.” He unfastened his boyfriend’s belt and jeans, pressing kisses to his slender neck. 

“Shit,” Tony groaned

Azra had his hands on him in less than a second, coiling his fingers around, stroking with both hands as he continued to kiss the ginger’s throat, nibbling here and there. Tony’s hands were fists in the blonde’s shirt.

“How about… you?” he gasped.

“Don’t worry about me, Dear. You’re the one riled up.”

“You… sure?”

Azra purred against Tony’s throat. “Just try and stay quiet.”

Tony all but grabbed Azra’s face and kissed him hard, kissed him deep, causing his hands to falter and tighten ever so slightly. Tony’s hands were clenched in the blonde’s hair, however, and he was marveling as he always did at the soft curls. He couldn’t think of anything other than the feel of their hands on each other. He didn’t need to.

Azra was busy trying not to get hard himself. Tony was so very adept as his tongue it was difficult to concentrate on the task at hand. Tony pulled away and cursed, breath heavy. He came in the blonde’s hands, who’d managed to keep the mess contained. He’d forgotten to pull some toilet paper out for clean-up. Tony kept kissing him even as he stood with his hands cupped together and dripping. It was fine, though. He could hold the cum as long as he needed to.

The taller man pulled away, gazing into the shorter’s eyes. “I should probably get the door for you, huh?”

“And maybe the sink too,” Azra giggled.

Tony finally looked at Azra’s hands. “Oy, that’s a lot. Sorry, Angel.”

“I hope we didn’t miss too much of the movie.”

“Spoiler: the teens are getting slashed.”

Azra laughed. “Yes, but in what order.”

Only a couple of their friends had noticed their lengthy absence, but they chose not to say anything. Baal didn’t even feel the need to speculate about what they were up to. Lucifer bit his lip, wondering what they'd been up to.

By the time “Scream 2” had started, Azra was fast asleep, leaning against Tony's shoulder. He roused him and offered to drive him home, to which he nodded sleepily, trying to wake up. After asking if anyone else wanted to go, he led the blonde to his car and drove him home quietly.

“Aren’t you sleepy too?” Azra asked when they were almost there. 

“Nah, I got to sleep in a bit today before my last final.”

“That’s good.” Azra stared out the window. “What time should I turn up at yours tomorrow?”

“Just whenever. You’re cooking a bit, yeah? You know how much time you need.”

“I can help clean too.”

“By noon, then, I guess. Don’t worry too much about it, Angel.” Tony parked in the empty handicapped spot when they arrived.

“I’ll see you in the morning,” he yawned.

“Angel?”

“Hm?”

“Can I kiss you goodnight? There’s no one around.”

“And it’s dark,” Azra responded, leaning towards him.

The kiss was gentle. Their hearts were dancing about and they had to try and breathe normally.

“ ‘Night, Angel.”

“Goodnight, Darling.”

Azra was excited as he biked over to Tony’s. He enjoyed the warm air, even as it made sweat bead on his face and back. His backpack only made the sweating worse. There was no doubt that he’d be staying over tonight. After all, the plan was to party until everyone had either fallen asleep or left. He’d been anticipating this party for weeks.

The basket on his bike was full of grocery bags, but they would be going later in someone’s car for bigger and heavier items. He would probably be alone in that flat for at least an hour while they were gone, and in that time he knew he could get a lot of food and dessert ready.

Azra rang the bell with his elbow, arms full. After a couple of uncomfortable minutes he rang it again. Finally the door opened and Hans was yawning, shirtless in the doorway.

“Got here early enough, yeah?” he groaned.

Azra smiled. “It’s noon and we still have a lot to do.”

Hans sighed. “Well, come in. I’m going back to bed.”

Azra didn’t bother trying to be quiet as he cleaned. They’d all need to wake up soon anyway. Tony was the second one up, poking his head out of his bedroom with a sleepy “hey” before he vanished to change. Over the next half hour everyone else woke up and got moving. Liam and Hans left for the store, Lucifer was nowhere to be seen.

Roughly an hour later Tony glanced up. Azra had just turned off the beater and was smiling down at the dark purple frosting. The red-head couldn’t help but smile too. Azra dipped his finger into the confection for a taste, and his smile brightened. Tony’s heart stalled and then thudded dramatically in his chest. It had been reacting like this for weeks. It happened randomly when he would look at his boyfriend, and whenever they kissed it felt like it swelled after that inevitable skip. Just then, watching the blonde prepare to pipe the frosting, did it occur to him.

Is this what it felt like to be in love? He chuckled to himself. It was so obvious. How had he not realized it sooner? Of course this was love. What else could this unknown elation be, if not love?

He slid the lock on the base of the foldable table and headed into the kitchen. Azra hadn’t waited long for the cupcakes to cool and just as he started to pipe the first one, he paused. Tony had just stepped into the kitchen.

“Do you need help with the table?” the blonde asked.

“I’ve got that sorted. I like that color.”

“Thank you! I didn’t want to pick something typical.”

“Hey, Angel?”

Azra’s cheeks turned red and his own heart fluttered violently. “Y-yes, Dear?” He was afraid that Tony’s flatmates would return any moment.

Tony chuckled. It was crazy how happy he was. He stepped up to his boyfriend. “Just one thing, real quick?”

“Hm?”

The ginger pressed a soft kiss to the blonde’s lips. “That’s all.” He left to finish setting up the furniture, leaving Azra standing in surprise in the kitchen. 

Before long Liam and Hans had returned from the store, bags full of food and arms full of liquor and mixers. The fun was only a few hours away.

There were far more people there than Azra expected. Turns out each roommate’s friend group came, pretty much in full, and Hans told Uriel to invite people too. Jess and Lauren were invited as well. Uriel had pretty much dragged Sanford along, but he at least didn’t complain out loud. Even a stick in the mud like him could enjoy an end of term party.

Azra had disappeared after the first couple of guests arrived, going to get ready. The other guys had already done so while he was getting all of the last little bits finished. He’d insisted.

Tony was curious why he was taking so long, but assumed he’d taken a shower. He was definitely correct on that front. Azra had made sure to not only shower but make sure his hair was styled just so, and worried over his clothes in the mirror longer than he needed to. 

Tony almost choked on his beer when Azra finally came out. Damn, he looked even better than he had at his birthday party, but then again Azra had time to plan for a party this time around. His light blue shirt was unbuttoned one extra button beyond his collarbone and he’d foregone tucking it into his tightly fitting khaki trousers. His hair fell just right and the platinum blonde curls were smooth. He even had some jewelry on, a gold cross around his neck and a gold chain bracelet around his right wrist. Even his sneakers seemed whiter. Were they new, perhaps?

The ginger forced his eyes away. He was afraid he might start to drool. Azra, though, had a very similar response to Tony’s hot goth rocker look he tended towards whenever he bothered with his appearance. He even decided to wear his hair completely down tonight. And those tight black jeans of his, which cupped his slim backside in just the right ways, really wanted to make one bite the side of their finger in desire. Azra thought so, anyway.

The girls were thrilled when Azra appeared and they pulled him right onto the dance floor and shoved a hard lemonade into his hand. He danced, letting himself go. He knew that tonight, all thoughts of his pesky diet would be out the window, and instead would be here with his dear friends. He was so enamored with the fun and the drink that he pulled Sandy onto the floor with him, forcing him to dance along with a silly pop song the Pussycat Dolls were singing. The oaf cracked a smile, and Lauren let him dance with her.

Uriel was another matter entirely. Azra had no idea where she’d gone off to. But if Sanford was here then he knew she was too. There was nothing to worry about tonight. Not even when Lucy opened the door for Laurel and greeted her with a big kiss. Both Tony and Azra were happy those two had found each other. It seemed to work well, the two of them together.

Nothing out of the ordinary was really going on, at least not for a college party. Everyone was slowly, and in some cases not so slowly, getting inebriated. While the music was still playing, hardly anyone was dancing now. There was a game of beer pong on, and there was Mario Kart on the TV. The cupcakes had been a real hit. Most of the girls, Hans, and Azra were huddled in a group on the floor talking.

“I wonder how far I can stick this pretzel stick into my mouth,” Uriel pondered, giving flirtatious looks to Hans. Azra was sure that she was the only reason he was over here and not playing pong with the other main group.

“I wanna try too,” Lauren slurred, grabbing one out of the bag they had in the middle of their circle. The two girls gave it a try, Uriel winning by half an inch before she started coughing. “My gag reflex is just too sensitive...” Lauren whined at her loss

“They make throat spray,” Danielle said. “It numbs ya a little so ya don’t toss everywhere.”

“Why would you even need something like that?” Azra asked, giggling and taking a sip of his rum and coke. 

“That’s a good one, mate.”

“I’m serious…!” Azra was still giggling, his cheeks pink.

“What are we talking about?” Laurel asked, joining the group. She’d been pretty nice the whole party. Azra assumed it was because she wasn’t after Tony any longer.

“Gag reflexes,” Jess answered, scooting over so Laurel could join them.

“Mine’s not too bad.” She flipped her hair and didn’t bother shying away from flashing her red lace panties as she sat. “It’s all about the concentration.”

“Really?” Lauren asked. “Show us then.”

Laurel shrugged and took her own pretzel stick. She had Uriel beat by over an inch. Azra thought Hans’ dark eyes would fly out of his skull. “Easy.”

“But why is that important?” Azra asked, trying to have at least a little clarity. “Isn’t the point to vomit?” They all stared, some smiling, some thinking he was kidding, and some aghast. “What?”

“Just the opposite,” Uriel said.

He still didn’t understand, and he wasn’t that drunk. “But I only ever have issues when I’m trying to throw up.”

“Yo, mate.” Danielle said. “Why would ya ever wanna do that ? Gross.”

“To lose weight, obviously.” He smiled. This was a normal thing for slimming, wasn’t it?

“Only if you’re bulimic,” Jess said, looking worried.

“Well, then why?” He suddenly realized that this was probably not as normal as he thought. “Why would you shove-”

“Oh, fuck…!” Hans spat out a laugh. “You’re a virgin! I forgot!”

“Ooooh,” a couple of the girls said together.

“I’d forgotten that too,” Jess said. The others nodded.

“You’re a fuckin’ virgin?” Laurel asked, incredulous. “No way in hell. There’s no way that T-” She stopped herself. “Just hard to believe. You’re pretty hot. I mean not as good as Lucy or Tony, but still.”

“Why does that matter right now?” He was red up to the tips of his ears.

“We’re talking about giving a blowie,” Danielle stated frankly. Azra had only thought that he couldn’t blush more. “But, now I'm curious.” She took her own pretzel now, as did all the other girls without one. She gave it a try, choking. “Yeah, need my fuckin’ spray.”

Tony glanced over, having lost his round of beer pong, and tuned his ears to listen to the girls chatter, wondering why they all held a pretzel stick in their hands. He was equally surprised to see Laurel and Azra hanging out together peacefully. 

Hans hesitated, his hand hovering over the bag. “Let’s all give it a whirl.” The girls blinked at him and he glanced quickly over at Azra, his own brand of curiosity mounting. “C’mon, Azra, just for fun.”

Hans reached into the bag and, without ceremony, shoved the breadstick into his mouth, hurting himself in the process. To the ladies, this was hilarious. It was to Tony too, and he took a sympathy sip of his soda.

“See, that’s why you blokes can’t just shove it in there like nothing,” Uriel laughed at him. “You alright, there, baby?”

He nodded, coughing and rubbing his throat. Jess tried it now too, and laughed when she gagged a little. “Yeah, I kinda skipped this base with my boyfriend,” she added, biting off the food and eating it. “I was too shy.”

Their eyes were all on Azra now. By now Tony had put the pieces together and wondered why they were even talking about blowjobs in the first place.

The blonde drank from his cup. “I don’t really need to do all that.” He swirled the brown liquid in the plastic. “I don’t really have much of a gag reflex.” Tony had to stop himself from choking on his drink, or spitting it out for that matter.

“You know this from sticking your fingers down your throat?” Uriel asked. She had always been one to be blunt.

Azra nodded, embarrassed, ashamed. Tony knew not to barge into the conversation he was eavesdropping on. Had Azra really done that in the past? He knew he’d been crazy about slimming, and he knew why, but that little fact was alarming. Tony couldn’t help but think that maybe Azra needed to see a different shrink. The blonde swirled his drink some more.

“It doesn’t matter anyway. Why would I need one or not?” He tried to sound nonchalant, looking up and smiling weakly.

“He’s got a point,” Hans said, chewing loudly on his salty treat.

“We were just playing a game,” Jess said. “You don’t have to play if it makes you uncomfortable.”

Azra righted himself and finished his drink in one gulp. He would not let something like this alienate him. He might be on thin ice now, letting his little secret out just because he’d had one too many, but he could play their stupid game. He took his own pretzel and inhaled, preparing for the embarrassment. It couldn’t possibly get worse. He was a little more methodical about it than anyone else had been. He knew where the pretzel would affect him and where it wouldn’t. Perhaps winning this stupid game would be the only thing worth what he’d experienced by trying to lose weight in the past. He eased the bread in, holding his breath until it hit the back of his throat and he couldn’t press the rigid food in any further. He bit it off with his teeth before removing it. The group had gone slack-jawed, and Tony had squeezed his cup so tightly that it broke. Only good luck meant that it had been empty. The blonde had won.

“Jesus fuckin’ christ,” Laurel finally said. “We need to get this man a medal.”

“L-Let’s play another game!” Jess said quickly. She was crimson now too, matching Azra. “How about ‘firsts’?”

“What the shit is that?” Danielle asked.

“It’s like a mix of spin the bottle, truth or dare, and never have I ever. You spin the bottle, and whoever it lands on has to answer the question. Usually you ask something like ‘your first kiss’, but it can be anything. Like the ‘truth’ part of truth or dare. If they don’t answer, they drink and then spin.”

“Why not?” Hans said, placing his empty beer bottle in the center. “I’ll spin first.”

The game went round and around. Danielle had gotten them a bottle of liquor to take shots from after Lauren was the first to chicken out of her answer. Tony moved away from the group, mind reeling with what he’d heard, what he’d seen, and he needed to quell it with more pizza. Only after nine spins had the bottle landed on Azra. Laurel hesitated over the bottle, her long black fingernails hovering inches above it. She knew what she wanted to ask, but she also knew that if she said anything wrong and it got back to Baal that that little firecracker would eat her alive.

“When was your first kiss?” She finally decided on. “I know its boring, but…” She shrugged and leaned back.

“O-Oh…” Azra blushed anew. “It was back in January.”

“Ya gotta be more specific, mate,” Danielle grumbled. “Which January? How old were ya?”

“This January?” He looked around the circle.

“Fuck, really?” Hans asked.

“I-It’s my go,” Azra responded. “I already answered my question.”

His spin landed on Uriel and he continued the game. He didn’t even really know what he asked, but she giggled, answered and took her turn. He listened as these girls’ secrets spilled out onto the rug. Handjobs, blowjobs, sex, kissing, and so many other things. He stopped answering and took fake swigs from the bottle instead. He’d had fantasies, of course, but hearing them laid out as real possibilities by his friends was overwhelming. 

He couldn’t stop thinking about Tony now. As the girls and Hans described things and answered each others’ lurid questions, his mind raced, daydreaming. Most of it was remembering, especially last night. They’d never touched each other in public before. But it was really he who’d done the touching. He remembered the way Tony felt in his hand, heavy, hot, and dripping. He imagined it, how it might feel against his cheek. He knew the feel of it against his stomach, but he started to drool thinking of having it not only near his mouth, but in it. What would it taste like? How would his cum feel on his lips as opposed to his hands?

“Azra!” Danielle shouted, pulling him back to reality. “Ya gonna answer or drink?”

“W-What was the question?” he managed to ask, breathily. Could they read his face, tell what he’d been thinking?

“Who was your first kiss? Ya said it was only a couple months ago.”

“O-oh well, I-I’m not sure-”

“You can drink again, Azra,” Laurel said. He was a little surprised that she was coming to his aid.

“Good idea.” This time the swig he took of the cheap vodka was real. “Spin for me, Laurel,” he said, standing. “I don’t really want to play anymore. Might go get a cupcake.”

Laurel nodded. She was an unexpected ally, for sure, but a well-appreciated one. Azra glided over to Tony, taking a cupcake on his way. He stood close enough that Tony noticed him before Baal had even had a chance to greet him. One of her friends was beside her and Azra had obviously interrupted a conversation.

“Sorry,” he said quickly. “Didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“What’s up?” Baal asked, eyeing the cupcake. 

“I got bored of the game I was playing. Have you tried the cupcakes yet?” He scooped some of the icing off with his finger and ate it. The sensation of his finger against his tongue made him flush and he hid his tremble. Tony was staring at his mouth. “Want a bite?”

He offered the confection to his boyfriend, who obliged, taking only a small bite from the side, but getting the purple frosting all over his nose.  Azra’s smile stopped his heart for a beat, and the blonde wiped the sugar from his freckled snout. He ate it, still smiling. 

“Thanks.”

“Might want to wipe it off properly,” Azra said. “Or you’ll be sticky all night.” Tony could hear how breathless Azra sounded and wondered at it, but chose to say nothing.

“Good thinking.”

“I’m gonna get some more pizza,” Baal mumbled, clearly seeing the flirting in front of her. “Coming, Valerie?” Baal’s friend nodded and they left the boys to themselves.

“Did you have a good time?” Tony asked, referring to the crowd he’d just left. He didn’t want to let on that he'd seen and heard what he had. 

“Yeah!” Azra declared. “I just got bored playing the game Jessica started. I was out of my drink, anyway.”

“Need a refill?” Tony offered.

Azra shook his head, eating some more frosting. “This is fine.” Tony gazed at him. Were they supposed to be talking still? Did this look weird to anyone on the outside? He wasn’t sure. “I was actually wanting to get out of the crowd, for a bit.” His eyes met Tony’s and he flushed. “Just for a bit.”

Tony was aware of their closeness now. It was required due to the volume of the music and talking of guests, but the blonde just seemed so close right now. He smelled heavenly. He couldn’t pinpoint it. It was floral, but also maybe vanilla? Or was the vanilla just the cupcake? God, he was just so beautiful. Tony wanted so desperately to touch him. He could almost feel the heat radiating from Azra’s body. Was he too warm? Did they need to turn the air-con cooler?

“What do you say?” Azra asked, putting the unfinished cupcake on the side table nearby. “Want to hide out in your room with me?”

Tony felt his body light with what could only be fire. Those blue eyes were gazing up at him over blushing cheeks and parted, gasping lips. “Yeah, I’ll go with ya,” he managed to say calmly. 

Azra wandered ahead of him and he had to stare, trying to make it as subtle as possible. Hopefully no one noticed they were heading off alone to a bedroom. No one did.

Azra leaned back against the door once Tony made it in, closing it and locking it. The turn of that lock had sounded so loud and definite to the redhead, and to the blonde the sound only bolstered his confidence. His arms were around Tony’s neck in an instant, pulling them together to kiss hard, Azra’s body pressed hard against the door. Their tongues were well practiced by this point, and they easily brought that longing pleasure to the surface. 

Tony couldn’t quite hold him tight enough, couldn’t delve his tongue deep enough. Azra gripped the russet hair tightly, pulling at it just a little like Tony liked. Tony’s glasses were askew now, pressing oddly into his cheek and nose, but he didn’t care. Hell, he barely even noticed. Azra had never been so hot in his embrace before. His erection was straining against his jeans, pressed against Azra’s belly. He could feel his boyfriend too, right up against his thigh. First the unexpected handjob in the public bathroom last night, and now this, just a slim panel of wood between them and the party. These two nights had shown him a much bolder Azra, one he'd only seen once before, and it had pressed all the right buttons. 

The blonde also agreed that he wasn’t acting like himself. It just seemed like after that quasi-absence of end-of-term and finals, he couldn’t get enough of his boyfriend. His mind was racing again, thinking back to what had just been running through his head only minutes before. It was something Tony had never asked for or even hinted at, but surely it was something he would want, right?

Azra pulled away from the ginger, gasping, lips full and face flushed. Tony was about to say something to ask a question, but the blonde was faster than his words had been. His thin, nimble fingers were unfastening the taller man’s belt, unbuttoning and unzipping those tight black jeans. Their lips were together again soon enough and Azra slipped his hands into the fabric. Tony had gone commando tonight, which both surprised Azra and made sense. After all, those jeans really had cupped his ass perfectly, rounded his package just right. He stroked him for a moment, always marveling at just how sweltering the man could get in his hands. Tony reached for Azra, obviously wanting to return the favor when Azra pushed him away, gently. Tony started to protest, but then saw something he didn’t think would happen anytime soon. Hadn't even considered happening yet, though he’d certainly thought it.

Azra dropped to his knees before him, easing Tony's cock from his jeans as he opened them up more. He was gasping there, staring at the view before him. He touched Tony’s penis, sure, seen it, but never this close. Never so near.

Tony put a hand on the door, watching as Azra palmed him. He tried to breathe. Hell, right now he was still trying to convince himself this wasn’t a dream. Azra took a deep breath, steeling himself and shoving his nervousness to the back of his mind. He was downright drooling over Tony’s hard shaft, stiff in his hands.

Then he kissed him.

Tony pressed his lips tightly together as Azra’s tongue ventured out from the kiss, licking the pink tip gently, just tasting him. He continued to stroke him slowly. He wasn’t being deliberate with it. Heaven knows he was just acting on impulse and instinct. He licked again, following the dip that led to the shaft before using his hand to ease his foreskin down and out of the way so he could lick there too. Azra wasn’t trying to akin this motion to anything, but his tongue and lips were almost moving of their own accord. Azra moved to the base kissing and sucking there as his slow stroking commenced. He let his tongue out as he sucked the base and licked the bit of the sack that was touching his chin, causing a quiet moan to fall from the ginger.

Tony felt so nice and hot under Azra’s lips. He was in his own world, wanting to taste him, wanting him to feel good, but also having no idea how to go about it. He at least understood the basics and decided to get down to it.

He cupped Tony’s balls gently in his hand, massaging there before he finally took Tony into his mouth. At first he just lingered over the tip, licking and sucking gently, still stroking him, but he soon grew bolder at hearing his boyfriend's gasps and moans. He took him deeper, continuing his movements. He was finally brave enough to goad himself up and down the bit of the length he’d managed to take in. Azra didn’t realize doing this would only stir him up more. His erection was starting to get painful and he felt the wetness in his pants, but he didn’t let on, even as his muffled moans slid out.

Tony groaned behind closed lips. His eyes threatened to close, but he wouldn’t give anything to miss watching Azra go down on him. He was clumsy, but it felt so damn good. Tony felt himself shiver, trying to keep from grabbing the blonde’s head and thrusting deep into his mouth, to feel those plump lips against the base of his cock again. Just fuck his mouth right there against the door. Thank god he could control himself in the presence of his sweet boyfriend. But sooner than he would ever dream or expect, Azra took him in deeper and he could feel his tonsils now. Azra didn’t even flinch, just moaned softly and suckled there, still massaging his balls and fisting short strokes over the bit of his shaft that wasn’t in the warm wet confines of his lover's mouth. 

“Fuck…!” Tony groaned aloud this time. He was shaking harder now, the sucking and licking growing more intense.

Azra wanted to only taste more of him, feel more of him. He let him fall from his mouth and gasped for air for just a second or two, never stopping the manipulation of his hands over the member. Tony was just as heavy as ever, only having grown harder under his fondling. He went back down again, faster and more confident now. Tony was enjoying him and he was enjoying himself as well. This was… well this was great. Everything about it was just wonderful. He took Tony as deeply as he could, feeling as that auburn pubiic hair tickled against the tip of his nose each time he pulled Tony into him. Again and again. Azra wasn’t using his hands anymore, bracing himself against Tony’s thighs now for leverage to take him as deeply as he could, gasping, moaning, and sucking feverishly. He tasted so good . 

And Tony’s legs were shaking visibly now. He balled a fist into Azra’s hair, losing himself as he watched and felt every tiny movement. How had this happened? He definitely hadn’t passed out drunk and had a wet dream, right? This felt real, felt hot, felt fan- fucking -tastic. He opened his mouth to moan aloud now, not caring anymore. 

“A-Angel! Fuck…! Ah- Fuck!” He moaned again, unable to say anything more for a few seconds as his eyes watered, waves of pleasure wafting over him, drowning him in heat and the heady scent of flowers and vanilla. “Angel…! Wait..! I’m gonna…!” He bit his lip, still trying desperately not to thrust himself into Azra’s mouth. 

Azra looked up, meeting his eyes with the most sultry expression he’d ever seen on that beautiful face. Azra sucked harder, licking the underside of Tony’s cock, sure to hit the nerve that sat there. Tony filled his mouth suddenly, gripping his hair even more tightly than he already was. Azra drank him down, swallowing and savoring the taste of him on the back of his tongue. He didn’t release him, still sucking as he swallowed the cum, feeling the final shudders of pleasure from his darling finally easing. He gave a final long suck as pulled free from him and licked his lips, gasping, gazing longingly up at the redhead.

Tony could hardly breathe, having tried to reign in his voice during his climax, he’d held his breath. Azra had not only let him come in his mouth, but he felt him drink it, felt him welcome it. That was a first, for sure. Azra was shivering on the ground, his erection throbbing and dripping, but Tony couldn’t even see the bulge in the dark, let alone the damp fabric. They both just caught their breath for a few moments and Tony slid to his knees, embracing Azra, kissing him sweetly. Azra returned the affection, unsure of the kissing protocol after such an act. Tony didn’t seem to mind, though, and he swirled his tongue softly against Azra’s. They just kissed. Tony was calming down, cooling down. His head was clearing and he took Azra’s face gently in hand, looking into those sapphire pools. 

He wanted to speak, say something, anything, but no words came as he stared at the blonde. What on earth do you say to something like that? What had he said to girls in the past? Did it matter? This was nowhere near the same as it had been with any of them.

Azra ran his fingers through his hair and smiled, having finally caught his breath. “You better head back, Dear. Your friends will probably be wondering after you soon.”

“You too, Angel.”

Azra shook his head. “My friends are so drunk right now. I don’t think it matters. Besides,” he continued, ever the voice of reason. “We shouldn’t really come out of a bedroom at the same time. And I’ll need to brush my teeth.”

Tony nodded and stood, tucking himself back into his jeans and fastening everything up. “You’re right. I’ll fix you a drink?”

Azra nodded, still sitting. That sounds lovely, Dear.”

Tony unlocked the door and stepped out into the crowd and music beyond. Azra struggled to his feet, shaking, and made it to the bathroom. He caught himself on the back of the toilet, unzipping his trousers and freeing himself. The air felt so cold against it. He’d barely touched it and the sensitivity was amazing. 

He closed his eyes and stroked himself, still using the back of the toilet to ground himself and he imagined Tony with his arms around him, imagining that it was Tony’s hand on him, masturbating him there in the bathroom like some sort of harlot. He bit a hole in his lips, stroking faster, trying desperately not to groan aloud. He imagined Tony picking him up and all but throwing him onto the bed, spreading him and taking him right there. Azra heard himself keen, not even realizing he was the one making the noise as he came violently into the basin below him. Tears stained his cheeks and he gasped. He wanted to do that again, and soon. 

Chapter Text

XII

When Tony awoke Azra was fast asleep in his arms, but boy did he have a massive headache. He really had had too much to drink in the end. After getting off in the most glorious and unexpected way, he needed to stay distracted from the gorgeous blonde’s roving eyes. Even after what had happened he could still see the lingering desire in those blue pools, those rosy cheeks. Azra and he had fooled around plenty of times, but something about that was wholly different. It wasn't just because it was the first time Azra'd gone down on him. It was something else that he couldn't describe. He assumed that Azra felt the same, because he had also proceeded to get himself absolutely plastered. He'd passed out on the sofa, head in Uriel's lap. Tony needed help dragging him to bed, but then drank more himself. He didn't remember changing into his sleep pants, nor getting in bed, but waking up this way was pretty nice, if only he wasn't hungover. He could already smell vomit, but then remembered the bucket he placed beside the bed. One of them must have used it in the night.

It didn't matter. A party like that was unforgettable, and the hangover was pretty worth it, he thought. Azra was sleeping hard, drooling a little onto Tony's bare chest where his head lay, lovely blonde curls still soft in their tangles. Any time he would stay the night with Azra he was always the second to wake. This was the rarest of sights. Azra's finger twitched a little as he dreamed. What could he be dreaming about , Tony wondered. It was probably just something random, but he hoped it was something great. He combed Azra’s hair with his fingers, genly clearing all tangles away. He would never get tired of feeling its softness. It was unreal how the blonde managed to keep it so. Still the younger slept. 

Tony's bladder was awake now, and starting to protest at being ignored, and he knew he didn't have a choice but to get up now, trying to slide out from under his boyfriend as sneakily as possible. It was no use, though. The blonde blinked sleepily down at the mattress and then up at Tony, confused.

“Sorry, Angel,” he whispered. “Go back to sleep.” 

Azra blinked again. “Morning…”

He'd hardly understood the mumble and smiled. “I'll get us something for the hangover after I pee, alright?” 

Azra just nodded and pulled the pillow over to himself, burying his face in it. The ginger did just as he said, also bringing them each a gym bottle full of water. It helped plants feel better, and humans weren't so very different in that respect.

The stragglers and roommates all spent a lazy day recovering, putting movies on all day and slowly cleaning up from the wild night before. Liam had even let a few girls take his bed while he slept on the floor in the living room the previous night. He'd used a dish towel as a blanket, but seemed just fine when he woke. Uriel had been dragged home by Sanford once Azra had passed out, and Azra wasn't sure when Jess and Lauren had gone home. They’d texted him that they'd made it at least.

In only eight days the summer semester would begin, just barely after they would receive their grades. Summer semesters had been required on Azra's personal agenda. To him it would mean getting his degree faster. Tony was only taking them because 1) he was paying rent so he might as well stay, and 2) Azra was. Tuesday they would be going to get their books, then they weren't entirely sure of their plans after that. Azra wouldn't be going home, because his parents would be in the UK for a couple of weeks visiting family. Tony, on the other hand, wasn't really expected home since he was staying for another semester. His parents did promise to help him move into a new apartment in August when his lease was finally up. Tony was hoping to find another room-share, otherwise he'd have to get a job. He was already searching student papers and forums to find a place. Azra didn't have the same worry. 

The weekend returned too soon. The only time weekends are a problem is when they're being used to say farewell to free time. Summer semesters were shorter and nothing to sneeze at. While Liam and Hans didn't have classes coming up, they still had an idea to get out and have a bit more fun before a large chunk of their friends would be too absorbed in school to enjoy themselves. Azra was both excited and worried about the trip that everyone insisted he join them on. He'd never been to an American beach before.

They left when the sun was just rising, in order to get a decent spot after driving for a couple of hours. Baal had an old Volkswagen Bus, so naturally she drove and lugged the entire group along. Even Lucifer and Laurel were included. Tony was still unhappy with the two of them, but at least now that they were dating he felt a weight lift. 

They all unloaded and scurried happily to the beach. Hans had inflated a beach ball during the ride, and got to causing havoc while Azra, Baal, and Danny set up their spot on the soft warm sand. Lucifer was the first to take off his shirt and the rest of the guys were quick to follow. The girls were still applying sunscreen, but all of them looked nice in their suits, even Baal who wore board shorts with her bikini top. Azra sat under the umbrella and watched the fun around him. It was so lovely and warm out, and his friends were having so much fun. 

Tony flopped down on the towel beside
Azra and winked, his hair already wet and sandy. “Gonna join us, or sit here like a sand dollar?”

Azra smiled. “This is fine for now.’

“I wonder if there’s any dolphins this far north,” the ginger ruminated.

“I don’t think so, but there’s a lot of other things.”

“Like sharks.”

“Like sharks,” Azra agreed. Tony smirked then started singing the theme to Jaws, easing closer and closer before the climactic note, when he fell onto Azra, tickling him mercilessly. “No…!” Azra laughed, trying to push Tony off and kicking his feet giddily. “Stop!” His breath was hitching with his laughter and sand was getting everywhere.

Finally, Tony let him free, having exhausted himself with his own laughter. “Seriously, Angel, come and join us. The water feels really nice.”

“I don’t know…”

“Pleeeeease?”

Azra sat up and shook his head playfully. “Okay, fine.” He stood and removed his open button-down shirt, leaving his white tank top on. “I’ll go in the water with you.”

“Well?” Tony looked like he was waiting for something. He was wondering why Azra was still dressed. “You’re wearing that?”

“I have on swim trunks,” he said tugging on the shorts he wore. Tony lifted an eyebrow. “Uh, I don’t mind my vest getting wet.”

Is he serious? Tony thought.  A day at the beach and he’s not even gonna take his shirt off? In reality his irritation stemmed from frustration at still not being able to see his boyfriend without one. If he wasn’t going to take it off at the beach, then his hopes for seeing that forbidden part of him were dashed.

“Well, let's get a wiggle on then.”

Despite Tony’s disappointment, the day was packed with fun and they were exhausted by the time it was ready to head back. Lucifer offered to drive back and within minutes, Baal was fast asleep on the mattress in the back of the van. Most of them felt that exhausted, too. The sun was setting by the time they made it back to Baal’s house where everyone had met up. And with a kiss goodnight, Azra slid into his apartment, ready to shower.

Tony groaned in pleasure, fists tight in Azra’s hair and he thrust into his open mouth. Azra was moaning at the assault, tears sprinkling his deep red cheeks. His own fists were tight in Tony’s jeans, slurping as he took him in. And then they were kissing, deep and hot. Azra was drooling but Tony just licked at it as they kissed. Azra parted from him to moan, but it sounded inhuman and screeching.

Then Tony woke up. His alarm was blaring loudly, and his soldier was at attention. Not a bad way to start the first day of summer semester, if anyone asked. His hands were quick to his target, rubbing and squeezing while he let the dream replay in his mind. If he didn’t shower soon he’d be late. His and Azra’s first classes both began at 9am.

They were both thrilled when they realized their schedules would allow them to eat lunch together every day. Classes had only been on for a few hours and Tony was already ready to lay around and daydream. That dream had been so nice, and to be perfectly honest it wasn’t the first one like it he’d had since the party. Hell, it was pretty much all he thought about. 

Azra had thought about it too, just not as relentlessly as Tony was. He’d been embarrassed to think back on it. He still couldn’t believe he’d had the nerve to go down on him, but it was what he’d wanted, what he’d been hoping Tony would ask for.  And he wanted to do it again. Unlike his boyfriend, though, he was able to think of other things, like school, exercising, and cleaning.

While he thought of the blow job all week, the ginger was also minorly side-tracked by something more serious. He wanted to tell Azra that he loved him. He’d just so recently realized it, but he didn’t want to keep it inside of him. He couldn’t shout it from the rooftops, but he could tell the younger man his feelings. This constant daydreaming of his hadn’t gone unnoticed. Azra scolded him time and again to concentrate, to pay attention. His flatmates had never seen him so distracted from schoolwork, and he’d overwatered his plants more than once while his head was in the clouds.

“What’s got ya up in the sky, Crowley,” Liam asked one evening after Tony had burned his toaster waffles.

“Should I say?” he asked sheepishly. “I mean, not like I can stop thinkin’ about it.”

“Well? Spill it,” Hans piped up.

“I… may have… made it to third base…” They were more than congratulatory. Details, they needed details. “Well, he - er she-” he saved quickly enough. “Just dropped to her knees and got on with it. I didn’t even ask or anything. We were just making out and… it was the best thing that’s ever happened to me, I swear to god.”

“And?”

“Anything else, mate?” Liam wiggled his eyebrows.

Tony felt his cheeks go dark. “She just did it. I didn’t even have a chance to think if she’d be good at it or not, but shit, guys, she was. I don’t even know how. Maybe I just love her that much, I don’t know.”

Liam and Hans both purposely ignored that last bit. Lucifer did too, from his spot against the wall of the kitchen. He knew who this “girl” was and he was shocked that they’d only just made it to that step. He cleared his throat, his curiosity overwhelming him. “Spit or swallow?” He asked. With the shade Tony turned he knew it may have been too much even for their guy talk. “Just curious.”

Tony smiled and fiddled with his hair absently. “Between us,” He didn’t know why secrecy was necessary, but it was. They all nodded. “She swallowed.”

“And you’re sure she’d never done it before?” Hans clarified.

“I mean, pretty sure. I gave her her first kiss, yeah?”

“I don’t know how you scored that,” Liam said. “So, when did it happen?”

“Couple of weeks ago,” Tony hummed, still smiling. He didn’t notice what he’d just given away.

Liam and Hans shared a look before Liam spoke. “Couple a weeks? When did ya have time for that?”

“Sneaking out in the middle of the night?” Hans pressed.

Liam and Hans’ shared look had somehow confirmed it with each other. Was he dating Azra? No way, right? But who else could it have possibly been? 

“Uh, nah. It just happened.” Aw shit, he never should have said anything. His flatmates all looked at each other, knowing but suspicious gleams in their eyes. “I-uh…”

“Congratulations, at any rate,” Lucifer interrupted the awkwardness. “Hope your luck gets even better.”

How could he stay mad at the goth now? Tony couldn’t stop blushing. “Me too.”

Tony spent the next week and a half planning. After telling the guys, focusing had become easier, even if that focus was on flower meanings, how to say it, and even sneaking to seedy parts of the internet on Lucifer’s laptop in order to learn exactly what he should do should anything progress further. His dreams stayed full of his beautiful boyfriend, and seeing him every day at lunch was a little slice of Heaven just for them. 

It was a hot day in June. The first day of summer at that. Azra’s warm weather clothing was very similar to what he wore to the beach, just khaki shorts, a tank top, and an open short-sleeved button down shirt over it. Tony still wore  black from head to toe. His skinny jeans had more holes now, band shirts were his go-to, and instead of boots he wore Converse. His hair would stick to his neck with sweat if he didn’t pull it up in what the girls had affectionately called a “man bun”.

They walked close as they made their way, hands so very nearly touching. Tony wanted to just grab it and hold it tight, but he knew Azra would get upset. If only he wasn’t so afraid of others seeing. He wanted to shout to the whole campus, hell, the whole world that this angel was his and everyone else had missed their chance. Azra was babbling about his previous class, and even though Tony didn’t really pay attention to the words, he adored the sound of it.

Today the school had hired an ice cream truck to celebrate the coming of summer. By the time they made it over to the cafe the line was full. Azra continued to babble though, ordering a simple vanilla cone once they finally made it up. Tony got a strawberry pop and both were so ready for the cold relief. Azra never got to have ice cream, so this would be very much a treat. Tony offered to pay. They headed to their usual spot in the back lobby of the Science building. Azra was fully enjoying his cone, licking around the edge before putting it in his mouth, then repeating the action. Tony absently ate his pop, staring at his boyfriend as he ate. He knew Azra wasn’t doing it on purpose, but man was the way he ate a turn-on. They ate quietly, the blonde enjoying himself so much that tiny squeaky moans left his throat while he snaked his tongue around the base of the cone, collecting anything that dared to melt. Tony'd eaten his too quickly for that and stared, longingly. He wished that it wasn't ice cream Azra was licking.

He looked around the corridor they were in, and not a soul was around. That was one of the good things about the summer semester: not a lot of people. He made an additional check before he grasped Azra’s hand, pulling the cone from his lips and replacing it with his own lips. He held Azra up against the wall by his wrists and Azra shied away, but Tony was adamant, pressing the shorter man into the wall, kissing him more deeply. Azra melted into him as they kissed. Oh, Azra's lips were sweet and cold and delectable. Tony’s lips were still cold from his own treat, but his mouth was hot, heating the blonde's body from the toes up. He didn't even care that his softserve was dripping down his hand and wrist now. Even Tony’s fingers would be sticky from this.

While the corridor had been empty, it wasn’t anymore. Sanford was rushing through the halls, trying to make it across campus through as many buildings as he could. No way was he going outside on a day like today. But he stopped in his tracks. Never in his life did he think he’d ever see something so disgusting. His childhood friend was being kissed by – and kissing back – that red-headed jackass. It was like getting hit with a train. He knew his friend was a bit of a pushover sissy, but he never imagined that he was…

Sanford turned and decided that going through the heat was infinitely better than being in the presence of this sin any longer, even passing it by. He stared for longer than he wanted, feeling the vomit rise up his esophagus. Rage filled his mind and he darted back off in the direction he’d come.

The couple never even knew he was there, and they finally parted, mere moments later. Azra’s entire face was red and he looked both excited and scared. “I couldn’t hold back any more,” Tony gasped.

“I’m glad this building is so empty.” He glanced around warily. “I don’t know what I’d do if-”

“But no one did. There isn’t anyone around. There aren’t even any classrooms on this hall.”

Azra nodded. “I know. I can’t help it…” He licked the melting dessert from his wrist. “We should wash our hands.”

“Sorry, Angel.”

“Sorry? I would hope so! Tony, I’m not sure you really understand how bad it would be if anyone saw us like that! I’m flattered, really, but there are some things you should tell me. We could have gone somewhere with more privacy like we have before.”

“I wasn't thinking… But really, Azra, it’s fine. We were completely alone. I double-checked. I try so hard not to even hold your hand when we’re out in public. I really am sorry. Please don’t be mad at me.”

Azra shook his head. “No. It’s okay. Don’t worry.” He lowered his voice to a whisper, looking up to Tony with only his eyes. “We can pick back up tonight after your greenhouse hours.”

Azra finished his ice cream while he walked Tony to his next class. No need to make either of them late, even though they both wanted to do anything but separate from one-another. Azra was almost late even so, needing to wash his hands thoroughly to get off all of the sticky sweet mess that had dripped there. 

Azra wiped his sweating face on the towel next to him. He was in his exercise clothes, getting his workout in before Tony came over. He checked the clock on his stereo and he had almost three-quarters of an hour to get in his sit-ups, cool-down, and shower before Tony arrived.

As he hydrated a knock came to the door. Huh, he wasn’t expecting anyone else, and Tony would have called if he got finished early. Azra turned his radio down and unlocked the deadbolt, growing more and more curious. Sanford was at the door, arms crossed.

“Hey, Sandy. What a nice surprise! I wasn’t expecting you.” The blonde smiled. “Come on in! What’s up?” Azra closed the door behind him. He moved to lock it, like usual, when Sanford grabbed him by the hair and threw him into the ground. Azra barely had time to cry out before the brunette punched him square in the nose. “Sandy?! What-?”

He punched him again, not letting him sit up for even a second. The punches rained down striking his nose, eyes, jaw, the sides of his head, and his mouth. Azra could only cry out and try to push him away. He was being overwhelmed so completely that he’d barely had the chance to defend himself. Once he was punch-drunk enough Sanford stood, breathing heavily.

“This is all a whorish, sinning, faggot like you deserves. Kissing in public…! I don’t even want to imagine what you do in private.” He spit on him. “Disgusting.” He kicked him in the stomach. “Vile!” Again and again he kicked the fallen blonde. 

Azra couldn’t even cry out anymore, as Sanford had knocked the air clean from his lungs. Tears were falling in rivers down his face, flowing along with the blood there. His mouth was full of blood as he coughed out what little air he could with each kick. The ugly brunette stood still, finally, catching his breath again. He was red in the face and a vein was poking out of his chubby neck. He may have been a short, round man, but he could really throw down when he wanted to. He was so angry and disgusted and wanted to do just one more thing to his no-longer-friend, Azra. He wanted to hurt him more. To punish him.

He went into the kitchen and found the knife block, pulling out a knife and the butchering scissors there. He dropped the knife beside Azra, who was getting his breath back. He crouched and grabbed the blonde’s curls again, gripping tightly. Azra grabbed weakly at Sanford’s wrists, terrified and in so much pain, not knowing what he was going to do to him. Sanford began chopping those very curls off. He made a mess of Azra’s hair. The blonde begged, still crying and coughing.

“N-No…!” he sobbed. “Not my hair! Please not my hair…!” Sanford pushed him roughly back into the floor when he decided he was done, knocking his head, before he punched him across the jaw again. “What did I do…?” Azra gasped through his sobs.

“I saw you, faggot, with that slithering red-headed beast. I knew there was something wrong with him, and now he’s passed it on to you. He tainted you. Damned you, and now you have to pay.”

“It’s not - “

Sanford hit him again, silencing him. Azra still tried to protect himself, albeit in vain. Finally the fatter man picked up the pairing knife and pulled up Azra’s shirt. “Now you’ll think before you sin again.”

Sanford stabbed Azra, right below his rib, dragging it down as he did so, as if he were carving a roast. Azra screamed out with the pain of it. He tried to push Sanford’s hands away, but the older man took it as an opportunity to take one of Azra’s and put a large gash in the soft skin of that arm. He tossed the knife aside now, hearing his watch beep the time.

“Damn it.” He stood and adjusted his clothes. He kicked the blonde one last time as hard as he could, being sure to hit the wound. “Consider our friendship over. I wish I’d never known you.”

“S-Sandy...”

 Sanford kicked him hard in the jaw, knocking him out. “Don’t ever speak to me again, faggot.” He left, not bothering to even make sure the door was closed properly.

Chapter Text

XIII

Tony whistled as he strutted happily up the entrance of Azra’s apartment complex, making his way down the hall with a large bouquet of flowers in his arms. He'd gotten a mixture of the classic red rose, red tulips, and tiny white mums. It had been expensive at the florist, but it was the perfect thing to tell his boyfriend how he felt. Most of the parking spaces were empty, due to the sheer amount of students that had gone home for the summer. It was still odd to see, but Tony was glad for it. That only meant more of the privacy that Azra preferred. Maybe they could order a pizza and rent a movie. Making out was fun, but it wouldn’t last all night. There could very well be more, but they had to eat, and he loved the look of joy on Azra’s face whenever he ate anything tasty. Maybe a cinnamon bun dessert pizza too.

He could just barely hear Azra’s radio playing some pop music on the other side of the door. He must have been exercising while Tony was at the greenhouse. Tony knocked and the door gave way underneath his fist. His eyebrow went up. Azra never left his door unlocked, and here it was, not even closed all the way. Tony pushed it the rest of the way open and peeked in. He could see into the kitchen, and it was empty. He didn’t hear the shower either. He stepped in and turned, forgetting completely about the case of the open door when he saw Azra lying there in a bloody heap.

“Angel!” He almost screamed, dropping the flowers to the ground and running to him and dropping to his knees. Azra’s eyes were barely open and he was staring at Tony. One was completely blood-shot, and the other was swelling. “Angel, what happened?” He wanted to pull him up and into his arms, but didn’t know the extent of his injuries. Fresh tears sprang from the blonde’s eyes and he coughed with the sob that came out with them. “Azra?”

“Tony...” Azra cried weakly. “Tony…!”

“What happened, Angel? Wait. I need to call an ambulance.” He pulled his cell phone out and flipped it open. “I’m going to get you help.” Azra was full on sobbing now, hardly moving or making sound, but clutching his side and rolling his bloody face into the carpet. “I’ve got you.” Tony dialed his emergency button and took Azra’s hand. Azra squeezed back tightly. Finally a female answered. “Yes, it’s my boyfriend! It looks like someone beat him up…! It’s really bad! My name? Shit, uh, Anthony Crowley. Stairway Apartments number 6. Please, he’s bleeding a lot.”

“Tony…!” Azra sobbed again.

“Yeah, that’s him. It’s okay Angel, I’m here. Five minutes? No, you don’t need to stay on the line. Thank you.” Tony gave his phone number to the operator before he snapped his phone closed and brushed Azra’s butchered hair aside. It was then that he noticed how much of it was all over the floor. “Azra, who did this to you?”

Azra could only cry. He was too weak to really speak, to really understand much going on. He was in so much pain and he could hardly see, could barely breathe. He could only cry and hold tightly to Tony's hand. 

Tony wanted to hold him, comfort him more, but god he was hurt so bad. “There's an ambulance on the way, Angel. It's going to be okay. Help is on the way.” He decided soft, reassuring words were best. “The operator said they were nearby.” Azra had passed out again. “Just stay with me, Angel. Stay with me… Jesus, who did this to you?”

The paramedics wouldn't let him ride along in the ambulance, so he followed them the best he could in his car. They made him stay in the waiting room. He stood against a wall for a solid ten minutes before a nurse called for him. There wasn't much they could relay since he wasn't immediate family, but they at least let him know that Azra was heading to surgery. They asked if he had the number for Azra's parents. He didn't, but he dug in his pocket. He was glad that in his panic he'd grabbed Azra's wallet and cell phone. The nurse took them gladly and tried to convince him to go home, but he wouldn't budge so she allowed him to wait until the surgery was through.

The weather channel was on in the waiting room, but it was just noise. Babies were crying. Old men were groaning. Some people were rushed back, others sat waiting with pale faces. It was obvious who was waiting for news. Tony still had Azra's blood on his hands, dry now, but he didnt feel it. Didn't care. The clock ticked too loud. Why could he hear it over the tv? A woman close to his age looked at him, curious, and spoke to him, but he didn't hear her. He was shaking. 

Did surgery normally last this long? Had it really even been a long time, or was time dragging? He checked the television. The show was different. Something about tornadoes. More people drifted in and out. He was sure it had been at least an hour. Maybe more. His legs had joined the rest of his body in its nervous shaking. He tried to clean his glasses, something to do, and made them worse. The woman spoke to him again, this time standing in front of him and reaching out a hand.

“I’ll clean them for you.” She avoided contact with his bloody hands when he robotically handed his spectacles over. She had a cloth in-hand already and rubbed the lenses with it. “My sister’s having a baby.”

“Congrats…” he mumbled, just as robotically as he’d moved.

“Do you need to talk to someone? Something awful must have happened.”

He shook his head. “Thanks.” She gave him his glasses back and he replaced them, looking at the time on the television, then on the clock.

She smiled sadly. “I’m just over there if you change your mind.”

He nodded, but was looking at the emergency room doors. A doctor had just come out, but he didn’t call for him. He bit the side of his finger, tasing the salt and copper. That taste was the first thing to ground him in… was it hours? What time was it? When did he get here? His heart hadn’t stopped racing since he’d laid his eyes on his battered boyfriend. His mind was blank with all but worry. The worry was morphing though. Perhaps it was his subconscious trying to calm or distract him. What had happened to Azra’s flowers? Had they been trampled? He needed to put them in water. Or did he need to buy new ones? Did he turn the light off? Lock the door? Did he run that stop sign? Was Azra going to die? Did he park in the right parking lot when he got here? He didn’t turn Azra’s stereo off. Didn’t it have a timer? Was that timer set? When was the last time Azra ate? Weren’t you supposed to have an empty stomach when you went into surgery? Should he bring Azra his schoolwork tomorrow so he wouldn’t get behind? Should he go into class tomorrow? How deep was that stab wound? Did he have brain damage? What if something was broken? Internal bleeding? Azra would need a change of clothes. When he went to get them he could put the flowers in a vase and turn off the lights. He should probably find a way to email Azra’s professors. That would be important to Azra. Maybe he coul-?

“For Azra Fell?”

Tony stood as if struck by lightning and met the doctor halfway. She still had her hair in its brightly-colored bonnet, but she looked calm.

“Me. That’s me. I’m his.”

“He’s out of surgery and all patched up, but I’m afraid we’re going to keep him sedated until at least morning. We’ve contacted his parents.”

“Can I see him, e-even though he’s sleeping?”

She shook her head. “I’m afraid not. We’re waiting for his parents. I know he’s an adult, but as a college student and the extent of his injuries… They’re his emergency contact on his student id. I’m sorry.” Tony felt all the energy fade from him. “He’ll be okay.” She looked at Tony’s hands. “Why don’t you head home and shower? Go to bed? I’m sure you’ll be allowed during visiting hours once he’s woken up.”

“Can I ask how far off his mom and dad are?”

“I’m afraid I don’t know the answer to that.”

“I know it’s not your fault….” He shook his head, mad now. “But it’s not fair that I can’t see him. I found him! He’s… important to me.”

She patted his shoulder. “Head on home, son. Come back tomorrow after you’ve gotten some rest.”

He rubbed his face with his filthy hands. “Yeah. Yeah, okay. Thanks, doc.”

He didn’t wait for a reply and left. He sat in his car for the length of his Queen Greatest Hits album before he went into his flat and to at least try to sleep.

Tony lugged a bucket of soapy water into the living room. He’d hardly been able to take his eyes from the blood stain on the carpet, nor the chunks of blonde hair near it. He’d truly seen it as a whole for the first time as they wheeled Azra out of his apartment. It had seeped into his nightmares last night. If just this stain was haunting him so badly, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know what Azra’s dreams were like in his forced slumber. Maybe the drugs took them away. He could hope for that much, at least. He hated that he hadn’t been allowed to see him after surgery, but what could he do but head home and try to get sleep? 

As far as his flatmates knew, Azra was in the hospital, but not given a reason why. Tony couldn’t even really talk about it. He’d just confirmed it and went to bed where he hardly slept. Getting to sleep had been difficult enough, let alone staying asleep. Hopefully Azra’d be able to speak about it, but if he couldn’t, then that would have to be okay too. All Tony knew for sure was that it’d been someone Azra knew.

He got to his knees and pulled out the dish sponge. The room was gradually getting lighter as the sun rose, so he started scrubbing.

And scrubbing.

And scrubbing.

The water was red. The carpet barely looked any different. So he got a fresh bucketful, adding bleach to the soapy water this time, and scrubbed.

And scrubbed.

And scrubbed.

His eyes were on fire from the bleach fumes. His chest and throat were sore as well. His hands and fingers were cold, wet, raw and sore. His fingernails were breaking. But still he scrubbed. He was exhausted, but he couldn’t stop. He wouldn’t let his boyfriend come home to a mess. It was all he could do to help. But no matter his efforts, sore knees, sore back, sore arms, and sore hands, the stain wasn’t budging. The water was crimson, so why wasn’t it coming up?

He couldn’t breathe and let his back fall against the arm of the couch as he sat on the floor. Maybe a girl would know how to get blood out? I mean they had to deal with it every month, right? So, he pulled out his phone and called the first female friend he landed on. 

“Do you have any fucking idea how fucking earlly it is?” Baal groaned.

“Sorry, B. I couldn’t sleep.”

“Why’s that my problem?”

Tony was silent for a moment. “Azra’s in the hospital and I’m trying to clean his flat for him but the stain isn’t coming up I don’t think I can do it myself and I need your help.” He’d said it so fast that Baal’s sleepy ears could barely keep up..

“Slow down,” she said, a much more caring note in her voice. “Say it again, but slower.”

“I’m trying to clean the blood off of Azra’s carpet and it’s not coming up. I need help.”

“And why is there blood?”

“Azra-” His voice broke. “I-In the hospital…” He felt his eyes fill with tears so he took off his glasses. “He was attacked… I think. I don’t really know. Please help me.”

She could hear his voice hitch and her own heart felt the pressure of despair. “Give me the address, Tony. I’ll be right there.”

After relaying the needed information, he dropped both his phone and spectacles to the floor. He felt himself break, and the tears burst forth, rocking his entire frame with sobs as he fisted the hair at the sides of his head. He’d never been so scared his entire life. He didn’t know how injured Azra really was. He didn’t know what happened exactly, or why, but there was a nagging, pointed voice in his mind. He knew this was his fault.

He just wished he knew what to do.

Baal dropped to her knees and hugged him as soon as she made it through the door. He held her tightly and his sobs gained new life. By the time he’d managed to calm down her shoulder was wet through to her bra. She stroked his head and stood. 

“Did you buy these flowers?” She asked, trying to distract him to look onto the coffee table where he’d arranged the flowers he’d bought. They were sitting on the coffee table when he found them. Maybe one of the EMTs had placed them there.

“Yeah. For Azra… I had it all planned. I was going to give him those and tell him… tell him I love him.” Saying it out loud like that made him feel nervous.

“That’s really sweet. You two have been together for a few months, right? I’m sure he’ll love them once you give them to him.” He stared up at her, heart racing. “It wasn’t really hard to figure out. I didn’t tell anyone. Don’t worry.”

Tony nodded. “When I found him… I didn’t know what to do. I mean, I called paramedics, but…”

“You don’t have to talk about that bit if it makes you uncomfortable.”

He nodded again. She looked over at the stain. He’d actually done pretty good at getting the bulk of it out. She could definitely smell the bleach. She picked up the bucket and rinsed it out in the bathtub, refilling it with plain hot water. She would rinse out all the soap and chemicals before adding more of her own. At least he’d thought to call a girl, she thought. I doubt a guy would have much luck figuring it out. She got to work trying to soak up the soap and bleach, rinsing the sponge as often as she could before she emptied the bucket again. She took a few of Azra’s more worn looking towels and used them to try and soak up some of the wetness. She’d brought along her quart of hydrogen peroxide. It’d been a good deal even if she thought she’d never get to use the whole thing. She didn’t believe in fate, really, but this was the closest proof she was going to get.  

After saturating the stain and letting the bubbles die down, she took a dry towel and soaked that up. Too bad they didn’t have a carpet cleaner to help dry it better. She stood and deposited the towels in the laundry basket she’d seen in the bathroom. She stared at the blonde hair. It looked like maybe Azra was cutting his hair when it happened? Odd to do it standing in the living room.

“Do you know where Azra keeps his vacuum?”

Tony placed his glasses back on slowly. He shook his head and walked to the locks, picking most of them up by hand. “I’ll go look for it,” he said. 

He was holding the hair like a treasure, looking around. Where could he put it while he searched? He laid the strands delicately by the vase and then took to searching the hall closet and the pantry. It was in Azra’s bedroom closet. Baal helped him find a plug and they cleaned up what remained.

“I’ll take you to breakfast,” she said. She wasn’t giving him a choice. “Then I want you to rest until you go visit him, okay”

Tony simply nodded in response.

Azra could hear his mother singing as he woke. He felt pain, but it was dull and he felt loopy, still tired. Then when he opened his eyes, which hurt, he could see his mother, albeit blurry.

“Mum?” he said.

Her blonde curls bounced and she whipped her entire body around to look at him. She smiled sadly. “Good morning, Zee. How are you feeling, love?” Her chubby hand stoked his head softly.

“Terrible?” That seemed like the right answer. He didn’t feel good.

“Son,” a deep voice sounded from over by the television. “I’m ready to send the tosser to prison. So, tell us who did this.”

Azra met his father’s strict sky blue eyes. He was angry. “I… I don’t think I want to press charges.”

“Come again?” His father barked. 

“Now, Dear,” Azra’s mother started.

“No! Who did this to you?”

“I don’t want to press charges,” Azra repeated. “I don’t want to ruin his life… This was my fault.”

Azra’s mother wanted so desperately to squeeze him tight to her bosom. “Now, poppet, don’t say that. There’s nothing that a perfect, lovely boy like you could have done to deserve such a beating.”

Azra sighed, so tired. “Mum, Dad… Can we change the subject for now?” He was starting to feel pulsing, sharp pains in his jaw, his side and his chest. He guessed his medication was wearing off. “How hurt am I? Did the doctor say how much class I’ll miss?”

“Worried about school…!” His dad grumbled, crossing his arms, muscles bulging.

Azra’s mother sat beside him on the bed and smiled sweetly. “The doctor wasn’t sure about that quite yet. She wanted to examine you once you woke up. The nurse is checking in every half hour.”

“She didn’t tell you what happened? How badly I’m hurt?”

“Yes,” his dad grumbled, sitting in the chair beside the bed now. His forehead was creased with worry lines, and his military-style haircut did no favors to hide them, nor his bushy blonde eyebrows. “She did tell us that. We should have told you that first. I swear, that bell-end is going to-”

“Love,” his mother interrupted softly. “Perhaps we should get down to it, then?” Azra and his father nodded. She continued, placing her hand over her son’s. She did her best to ignore the IV tubing there. “Two broken ribs. Fracture in your jaw.” It was like she was spouting off a grocery list. He knew it was her way of being strong. “A lot of bruises. A nasty slash on your arm, but it didn’t need stitches.” She patted her hand on his, forcing her smile now.

“You’re leaving out the stab wound,” Azra said bluntly. “How bad was that?”

She pulled her lips inside her mouth and bit down. Her sapphire eyes were full of tears now. His dad sighed, jumping in now that his wife was beyond her limit. “Punctured your lung, but they were able to patch you up in surgery. You’re out of danger, but you’ll have a bit of a recovery period.”

A wave of pain passed over Azra, worse than the previous ones. Everything hurt. He looked around, but didn’t see a way to alert a nurse. “Can you call the nurse?” Azra asked, gasping. “Please?”

“Oh, Azzy, you must be in so much pain.” His mother was back to her usual self. “I’ll call her for you.” She stood and fished a remote that was attached to the bed from a hook by his head and pressed a button. 

“Once you’re feeling a bit better, we can talk about who did this to you.” His father had switched the conversation back to what he wanted to talk about. “I insist we press charges.”

“No.” Azra really didn’t want to talk about this right now.

“At least tell the police what happened. Even if you make the foolish decision to not press any charges, there should still at least be a report on file.”

Azra coughed when he sighed and the pain was agonizing. He could feel the tears on his cheeks. His mother’s face creased with worry and she laced her fingers together to rest on her round stomach to keep from holding onto her boy. She needed to know who had done this to her baby.

“Okay,” is what he finally said as the nurse stepped in with a little rolling cart. It had necessary things on it like a blood pressure cuff and thermometer, but also some syringes.

The nurse examined him quickly, making many notes on his chart before asking his pain level and injecting his tubing with whatever was in the syringes. It was something for pain. He felt relief so quickly. The nurse said she’d bring in lunch soon but also asked if she wanted to page the policemen, who were anticipating a call from them about his situation. Of course his parents agreed. Azra was a bit too groggy to care.

“When can I see my friends?” he asked the nurse before she left.

“Visiting hours are ten to six every day.”

Azra looked around. “Could one of you go to my flat and get my phone? I want to tell my friends I’m okay.”

“Zee,” his mom cooed. “Don’t worry yourself today. Just rest.”

“I want to see my friends.” He wanted to start crying.

His dad huffed and stood, reaching into his pocket. “Your friend who called the ambulance brought along your phone, and wallet.” He handed them to his son. “Doctor said he was frantic. Sounds like a good guy.”

“Honey…!” Azra’s mother protested. “I really think he should rest today. We spoke with the dean. That should be enough. Just today…!” She was almost pouting as she spoke.

Azra’s dad smiled, amused by her. “I know, love.” He went to his wife and kissed her forehead. “But he’s adamant… and an adult. If he wants to see his friends and the hospital is fine with it…?” She nodded, still pouting. “Azra, your mother and I are going to go down to the cafeteria to fetch lunch while you speak to your friends. If you need the nurse, press the yellow button. Red’s just for emergencies.”

They left him alone. He sent Lauren, Jess and Uriel text messages that he was in the hospital, but okay and when they could visit him. He knew they’d keep him on the line too long, and there was someone else he’d rather tie up his minutes. The line rang only once.

“Angel!? You’re awake. Oh thank god.” Azra’d had a feeling Tony was the one who’d called 999. But it was 911 here, wasn’t it? “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. I want you to know that. Oh fuck, I’ve been so worried.”

“Hello, Dear,” Azra said softly in response. Hearing his voice made him feel calmer. He didn’t even know he could feel calmer, all the pain killers pulsing through him.

“Can I…” He paused, re-routing. “Have your mum and dad gotten there?” 

“Yes. They were here when I woke up. I don’t know when they made it in. I forgot to ask.”

“I’m glad you have them with you.”

“I have visiting hours today until six.” He knew he’d wanted to know.

“I’ll change and come by.”

“I’d love that.”

“If you’d rather sleep today, I understand. You’re probably knackered.”

“I am. I might take a nap after I eat something.” Azra started coughing again, and held the phone away from him until the painful racks calmed. He flinched, placing the phone back to his ear. “Sorry, My Dear. I have a punctured lung.”

The fury rose in Tony, but he didn’t want Azra to hear it in his voice. “That explains the blood, then.”

“Yes…”

They were both silent for a few minutes.

“I’m going to tell the police what happened,” Azra said.

“Good! Send that fucker to jail.”

Azra smirked. “You sound just like Dad. I’ll tell you everything, Tony. I promise. I want you to know. I just want us to be alone. Is that alright?”

“Of course, Angel. I’ll see you in a bit? Get some more sleep.”

“See you.”

Chapter Text

XIV

When Tony arrived at the hospital, he had to wait. The receptionist wouldn’t tell him why; patient privacy, he assumed. He looked around the visitor’s lounge, trying to see if anyone else was there waiting to see Azra. It seemed he was the only one currently there. During his scan, he also tried to see if any of the older people that were getting tea or coffee looked like they could maybe be one of Azra’s parents. He wished he knew what they looked like, but it hadn’t ever come up. He shifted the vase in his arms and found a seat.

It wasn’t until the sitcom that was playing on the TV had finished before the receptionist poked her head in. “Mr. Crowley?” she called. “Mr. Fell is ready for visitors now.”

“Great, thanks.”

He followed her to the proper room, where two police officers stood, speaking to each other over a notepad. They stared at him suspiciously, but he was too distracted by his nerves to really even notice. One of them did at least open the door for him when they saw him struggling to figure it out with the vase in his arms. The first thing he saw as the door closed behind him was a towering blonde man old enough to be his father. He looked like he was made of solid muscle and the way he crossed his arms, blocking Tony’s way was scary.

“Who are you?” he demanded. His voice was deep and booming, yet he hadn’t even raised it.

“U-Uh… Tony. I’m here t-to see Azra.”

The man’s thick eyebrows furrowed.”Never heard of you.”

“W-We’re friends…” How was this man so utterly terrifying?

“Dad…!” Azra said, and exhausted air to it. “Let Tony in.”

The man grumbled and moved, finally letting Tony see the rest of the room. A small, portly woman was sitting in a chair by Azra’s bed. Her hair had the same springy curls as her son, ending just below her chin. Tony could definitely see which parent his boyfriend took after. Tony couldn’t move, just staring. Azra looked so tired, so swollen and bruised. He looked like he’d been crying too. Even with the swelling and blood-shot eye he could tell. He had a light blue beanie on his head, hiding his hair. Their eyes met, so Tony moved forward.

“I… uh… brought flowers?” the ginger said, lifting the giant, very obvious bouquet of roses, tulips, and mums.

“Hello, Tony. They’re really pretty. Mum? Where should he put that? It looks heavy.”

“Only a little.” Tony had to stop staring at him.

“Good to meet you, Tony,” Azra’s mother said, standing and reaching out for the vase. “I’ll find some place to put those.”

He handed the flowers over. He hoped to all things holy and unholy that Azra’s parents knew as much about flower language as their son. “Thank you,” he replied. “Pleasure to meet you too Mrs. Fell, Mr. Fell.” He wasn’t going to forget the hulking figure behind him.

“Dad, please sit down,” Azra scolded his scary father. “Tony’s never hurt me. This wasn’t him. For Heaven's sake, he called the ambulance.”

Mr. Fell grumbled. “Yeah. Doesn’t look strong enough to hurt anybody anyway.”

“Dad!” The man sat. “Don’t listen to him, Tony. He’s not as scary as he looks.”

That was easy for him to say. “Sure.” Tony tried to agree. He knew that man could snap him in half like Bane did to Batman. He went to Azra’s bedside, standing close. “Anyone else come to visit yet?”

“Not yet,” Azra responded, rubbing his fractured jaw lightly. “Lauren went home for the summer, so she’ll visit when she can. Uriel is coming after class, and I haven't heard back from Jess.”

“What about Sanford, Zee?” his mother asked sweetly, still admiring the flowers.

“You got here so quickly.” Azra ignored his mother’s question.

“They made me wait when I got here but didn’t say why.”

“It was the police interview. I agreed to a report, at the very least.” Their conversation faltered awkwardly. Tony was scared to say the wrong thing, while Azra just wanted his parents to leave them alone for a few minutes. “Did you have lunch?” he finally asked the ginger.

“Baal made me eat before I left,” he chuckled. He was glad for her today. “She made me eat breakfast too after we cleaned your flat.”

Azra looked horrified. “O-Oh… Thank you.”

“You might need to rent a carpet cleaner for another pass, but Baal managed to get most of it up.”

Azra fidgeted with the IV in his hand. He’d been in a decent amount of pain for a bit now, but refused to let Tony see it. It was a strange relief to know that his mother wouldn’t have to clean up his blood, but to have Tony do it was somehow worse. His emotions were all over the place and he was so tired.

“Why don’t you have a seat, sweetheart?” Azra’s mum asked, breaking the tension.

“Yes, mam.” Tony politely did as she asked in the chair only inches from him. He was still trying to clock Azra’s parents.

“You’re a nice boy,” she hummed. “What class did you meet in?”

“Oh, um, we actually met through friends. It was bowling night.”

“Tony’s a botany major,” Azra added.

“Explains the flowers,” his dad said, actually admiring the blooms for himself from afar.

Tony fiddled with his glasses. “I didn’t want to come empty-handed,” he lied.

“Our friend groups have pretty much combined now,” Azra said.

“It’s pretty fun, actually.” Tony was surprised how easy it was to have a casual conversation when all he wanted was to hold Azra and ask him who’d hurt him so badly.

“It is… Mum? Can you call the nurse? I’m really hurting again.”

Tony’s anger flared.

“Azzy, they said to call before it got bad.”

“I know, Mum.”

Tony sucked air in sharply through his teeth, flames fully ignited. “Who did this?”

“Tony-”

“Whoever it was, I’ll rip their arms out of the sockets!”

Azra flushed to his ears. “That’s not necess-”

“No!” Tony shouted, standing. His hands were tight in fists, knuckles white. “It is necessary! I won’t let anyone think they can hurt you and get away with it!”

“I changed my mind,” Mr. Fell said calmly. He pointed to Tony. “This kid’s okay.”

Azra scoffed, throwing himself into yet another agonizing coughing fit that made tears saturate his bruised cheeks. Tony didn’t see Mrs. Fell hit the button, but soon a couple of nurses were there, moving Tony out of their way to tend to Azra. By the time they left he had an oxygen mask on his face and he looked like he would fall asleep any moment.

“Go home, Tony. I’ll see you tomorrow. I want - need- to speak with Mum and Dad before we have this discussion.” It was final and Tony knew it. At least the interruption from his coughing had managed to push his fury back as the worry had taken over.

“Get some sleep, Angel,” he said quietly before he sped from the room.

“When I wake up,” Azra said to his parents. “I’ll tell you what I refused to tell the police.”

~~

They gave him soup and jello for dinner. He didn't mind the liquid diet they'd put him on because of his jaw, he just wasn't all that hungry. Uriel had dropped by for about 15 minutes, and headed out once the food was delivered. She was happy to see his parents, and they, her.

His parents waited for him to finish eating before he felt their eyes boring into him. He drank his water. He'd been trying to prepare himself for this since he woke up from his drug-fueled nap. If it hadn't been for those drugs the nightmares would have woken him up. His attack wasn't really forgettable. He may have been knocked out, but his memory of the beating was completely there. What he hadn't remembered was Tony finding him, nor the trip to the hospital. It had been his doctor who described the 'young man' to him. But really, who else could it have been?

"The reason I don't want to press charges is because of who did this to me." He looked straight at them sitting together nearby. "I figure his parents will give him enough hell for it.” He sipped more water. His heart was racing and he felt like he may start to cry again. "You know him."

"What do you mean, poppet?" his mom asked. "I don't think we know anyone capable of this, especially here."

"Trust me, you do. We've known his family since before I was born."

"Only Uriel and Sanford fit that description."

"Yes. That's accurate." He sipped more water, nearly out by this point. "I'll need more of this."

"What are you saying?" his dad asked.

He played with his straw. "I know you know by now. It was Sanford. Who else?"

His mother held tightly to her husband with one hand and the gold cross around her neck with the other. "But he's usually such a nice boy."

"I wouldn't say nice," his dad said. "But decent enough."

"Why would he do this? Has he ever been violent before?"

"No," Azra answered. "But like I said before, this was my fault."

"I don't see what you could have possibly done," Mr. Fell barked.

Azra wished he had more water to drink. He wanted to sigh, but didn't want to start coughing again. "You see... I... I've been... I've been keeping something from you. From everyone. Tony was the only one who knew, but then Sanford found out. We didn't know he was there." His parents had questions, but chose not to interrupt. Azra licked his lips. He couldn't look at them, didn't want to see the expressions he knew they'd have. "I... I um... I'm gay."

But time didn't stop. The air didn't thicken. Instead he heard his father utter a chuckle that only ever escaped him when his cricket team was winning. "You owe me 50 quid, love," he finally told his wife.

"Yes, it seems I do."

Azra looked up, shocked. "You're not mad?"

"We're not even surprised," his dad chuckled again.

"I really thought you would have told us by now," Mrs. Fell added. "But Zee, I don't know what that has to do with Sandy."

"Seriously, love."

"Mum, he told me he was doing it to punish me for being gay. And he blamed Tony for making me this way. But Tony didn't do this to me. I've always been this way."

"Tony? The young man who came by today?" She was trying to keep her questions simple and linear. "Why would he think to blame him?"

Azra looked over at his beautiful bouquet. God, he loved Tony so much. Or was it the drugs? "Well, you see... He's my boyfriend."

"Ha!" his dad trumpeted triumphantly. "I thought red roses were a bit much."

"He's so handsome!" His mother was swooning. "You have good taste." She was giddy.

None of these reactions were anywhere near what he'd expected. "That aside," he blushed. "Sanford never wants to see me again." He wanted to steer the conversation back to what was actually serious and pressing. "I share that sentiment."

"And you don't want him tossed in a cell?" His dad was trying to understand. He had always thought Azra was a little too soft and forgiving. Just like his mother. "Well, I agree with that skinny boyfriend of yours. Let's rip his arms off."

"No...!" Azra finally put his cup on the table. "I mean, I want some sort of retaliation, but that will ruin his life."

"You agree he needs to be taught a lesson."

"But not with violence. Let's not sink to his level."

The older man nodded, wrapping his arm around his wife's shoulders. "I'll think of something. No harm, but hopefully a lesson will be learned. "

"Thank you, Dad."

"Visiting hours are technically over," the plump woman sighed. "They'll come to kick us out soon."

"See you tomorrow?"

"Of course, Zee."

"Could you let them know I need more water?"

"Yes." She kissed his forehead. "And don't sleep with that hat on."

Tony arrived early the next afternoon. He decided not to skip another day of classes, even if all he wanted was to sit with his angel all day. He only had his lunch to come visit, at least until after his greenhouse hour that evening. He didn't think he'd make it before the 6pm cut-off. Azra greeted him with a small smile when he entered. Tony matched it and sat beside him in the chair his mother had left. Neither of Azra's parents were there, so they would finally be alone.

"All alone today, Angel?" Tony asked.

"Mum and Dad went out."

Tony fiddled with his fingers. "Have you been able to get any sleep?"

Azra nodded, but saw the dark circles behind his boyfriend's glasses. "Have you?"

"Ah, it's nothing." He tried to be dismissive of his exhaustion.

The truth was he'd been awake on and off all night with more nightmares. This blatant lie left them both in an awkward cloud. Azra took his cup and sipped from it, disappointed to find it empty yet again. He knew Tony didn't want him to worry over him. Besides, out of the two, Tony had every right to feel worried. He knew how he looked. Hell, if he were in Tony's shoes, he thought he'd be a nervous wreck. Tony was holding it together really well. He probably wouldn't have gotten any sleep himself if he hadn't had help. The guilt was eating him, not telling Tony what had happened, not being honest with him.. or with himself. Anytime he spent too much time thinking about the attack, about Sandy's words, he felt his eyes fill up. But then he felt them on his cheeks, flowing down his face like rivers. He hadn't wanted to cry in front of Tony.

"Angel...!? Are you in pain?" Where was that magic nurse button Azra's mom had pushed yesterday? "I can call someone! I-"

"D-Don't look at me..." Azra finally sobbed, covering his face with his hands. He'd never let himself feel since the attack, not really, and now that it was out, it was overflowing, spurting forth like a geyser. "I-I'm sorry...!"

Tony wanted to obey, to look away, but even more so he wanted to wrap his arms around his boyfriend and hold him close. But that would only cause him more pain. This made him feel so useless, so... angry.

"Shit, Angel..." He really wanted to keep it together. "Please tell me who did this. We can press charges."

"No...! No... please..." His sobs only caused agony, but he couldn't stop.

"Why not?" Azra only sobbed in response. "Jesus H. Christ, Azra. This is ridiculous. Whoever did this to you, I won't let them get away with it. We have to sue, or retaliate... or something!"

"No...!"

"Why not?!" He finally lost his composure. "Why would anyone hurt you?! Who would have the audacity-?!" Tony scoffed and closed his eyes, trying not to get angry at Azra. He was angry with the son-of-a-bitch who'd done this, and didn't need to take it out on his distraught and injured boyfriend. "You're too smart to let someone get away with something like this."

"Sandy... saw us...!" Azra finally said through his tears.

"What are you saying?"

"S-Sanford... I think he saw... us kissing. He said he did... And he attacked me...!"

"Azra-"

"And the things he called you...! He blamed you!" Azra removed his hands from his face and clutched his side, trying to stop the physical pain. "But it's not your fault..!" Azra sobbed aloud, nothing to muffle it. Tony didn't know what to do. "I was gay before I met you! It's not your fault! I...! I did this to you..." He wiped the snot from his lips with the back of a hand. "I deserve this..."

"I don't understand what you're talking about. Did what to me?"

"Sandy said you were a beast and that something was wrong with you, and that you passed it to me. He was wrong. I'm the one who did this to you. I made you like this...! Like me...!" He sobbed again. "I'm so sorry...! I'm disgusting...! Disgusting!"

"That's horse shit! Every word he said, it's nothing but shit! It's a bunch of hate that he has bundled up in that simple little brain of his. Sanford… I never liked him. And you... You are the farthest thing from disgusting, Angel...! You did nothing wrong. You can't make someone fall for someone else. You can't make anyone gay or straight or whatever I am. I don't even know. But it's not a problem. It's not a sin. And it's most definitely not disgusting."

Tony wanted to find that fat mother fucker and throw him down a flight of stairs. Maybe he'd bounce a little too. He knew if charges were pressed that Sanford would probably only get a fine or community service or something, but he needed to pay. Was it even worth the court fees to show the town what a low-life he is? Would anyone even be on their side? Would it be worth outing-? No. He wasn't going to force Azra out of the closet, no matter how much justice it served. They needed to find some way to get that bigot back for what he'd done.

Azra blew his nose this time, wincing from the pain it caused him. "I know you want revenge," the blonde said quietly. "Dad's going to take care of it. I don't want you to worry about it. I just want you to stay by my side. I need you more than anyone else right now."

Tony nodded. "I can do that," he decided. "I'll do whatever and be whoever you need me to be right now, Angel."

"I know I shouldn't ask," he tried to dry his eyes in vain. He was nowhere near done crying. "But after my next dose of pain medicine, which is soon... can I ask you to stay with me until they kick you out?"

Tony nodded. "I can miss a day. I'll email my professors when I get home."

Azra sat quietly. Tony held his hand, letting his boyfriend just feel whatever he needed to. When the nurse arrived, the stern look on her face said she was ready to scold a redhead. Tony left to sit in a farther chair, the one Azra's dad had sat in yesterday when Tony was visiting. Azra quickly explained that he was okay, that it was only the ordeal finally hitting him. She seemed to accept this reasoning and gave Azra a pill to take. She'd also brought along a fresh pitcher of water.

Once she'd left, Tony kicked off his shoes. He was sure to climb into the bed on Azra's left side, opposite of his stab wound. He didn't yet know that there were broken ribs there too. He scooted up on the bed so his boyfriend could rest his head on his chest. Azra cuddled up to him quickly, relaxing against the tender hold of the ginger. Tony's hands were soft but comforting around him.

"I never properly thanked you for the flowers. They really are so pretty."

"No, you thanked me."

Azra shook his head. "Not properly. If I didn't think it would hurt, I'd kiss you. You really went out of your way with them."

"I was bringing them to you anyway, they just ended up having to be a get-well gift instead of a romantic one.'"

"They're still very romantic."

"I hope your parents didn't notice that..." Tony shifted nervously, but rested his cheek on Azra's head. The beanie was soft, but not nearly as soft as Azra's hair was.

"About that..."

"Yeah?" So they had noticed, huh?

"I told them about me... and about us."

"You... you what?" Had he head him correctly?

"I thought they'd be mad when I told them I was gay, but they really weren't upset at all." Azra actually giggled a little. "I think they'd made a bet about it. My mum apparently owes my dad money now."

"I'm so happy for you, Angel! They're the first one's you've told, aren't they?"

"I told you.”

"Eh, I don't count." He tightened his hold briefly. "I'm so proud of you. That must have been scary."

"It was, but that really was the best time to tell them. They needed to know why Sandy did what he did to me."

"You said they know about us?"

"I figured, since I was talking, that it was only natural to bring you up. You are the only one who knows about me. My mum thinks you're attractive." Azra snuggled up closer, getting more comfortable. "She's right, by the way."

"Oh, is that so? Well, I have someone to add to your list." Since they were talking about it, he needed to tell him.

"What do you mean?"

"Baal... I may have told her we were together yesterday when I was-- when I was cleaning." Before Azra had a chance to speak, he continued. "But she said she already knew, that she'd figured it out on her own... Are you mad?"

"I'm surprised you told one of your friends, but I never said you couldn't tell your friends. I appreciate you keeping our secret for so long, My Dear. But, no, I'm not mad. I think under our current circumstances, I would have said something too. I mean, I did. And I didn't consult you first."

"But I don't care if people know about us. I never wanted to out you to anyone. I'm sorry I did that."

"It was Baal, so I guess it's okay. I don't know her as well as you, but I know she's trustworthy."

"When do you think you'll be ready to tell our other friends? It doesn't have to be anytime soon. I promise I'm not trying to rush you."

"I think... Once I'm healed up a bit. We can tell them. I'm sick of hiding, and what I was afraid would happened already did. Nothing left to be nervous about, right?"

"You can be nervous. It is scary. I was a little nervous mentioning it to Baal."

The blonde responded by sighing and closing his eyes. Even he wasn't sure how he could manage to be comfortable right now, but he was. Tony was comfortable, too, but still had that nagging voice pointing at him. That's what his nightmares had been about. And now Azra had confirmed it for him. So, Sanford had seen them kissing? He wasn't positive, but he had a hunch it had been in the hallway at school.

Azra felt him stiffen. "What's wrong, Darling?"

"I'm so sorry, Angel..." He pressed his lips to the beanie quickly. "This whole mess is my fault. All because I couldn't keep my hands off you. I just had to wait until we were alone, but I took that stupid risk and it got us caught, got you almost..." killed "Got you beaten up... stabbed. I don't know how you're not angry at me."

"I didn't stop you, Tony. I let you. I knew the risk. I trusted that we were alone. I knew you knew I would only let you kiss me in private. We just had bad timing. Sanford had bad timing. We were alone in that hallway when you kissed me. Would you like me to be mad at you? To scold you for something I allowed you to do?"

"Maybe a little."

"Remind me to punish you when I'm feeling better," the blonde whispered, almost a seductive air in his voice. It made the hair stand up on Tony's arms. That was something he didn't know he was into.

"Will do."

They watched tv together, cuddling and talking about nothing until they both drifted off to sleep.

They hadn't been napping long when Azra's parents entered the room. His mother was holding a shopping bag and his father was carrying a book with a receipt sticking out from between the pages. Mrs. Fell stuck out her free hand, forcing her husband to stop in his tracks. Her face was glowing in delight.

"Look..." she whispered, gesturing to the sleeping, cuddling boys. "Our boy really found a good one, didn't he?"

"Is he allowed in the bed like that?" Behind them a knock came to the door, followed by an orderly with a push cart. He looked right at the bed, eyebrows furrowing. "Guess that's a 'no'."

"Can you do something about that?" the orderly grumbled. "Disgusting," he said so quietly is was almost inaudible.

"What was that?" Mr. Fell barked.

"Would you mind waking them? It's time to deliver dinner."

"Yesterday they just put it on the table when he was sleeping." He crossed his big arms.

The orderly bit his lip uncomfortably and moved to the table that was still pushed close to the bed. He sat down the tray loudly, spilling a bit of the soup in the process, the silverware clattering metal against plastic. The noise jolted the boys awake and Azra grimaced painfully.

"Enjoy," the orderly spat before he left the room in a hurry with the cart.

"Did you catch his name, Angela?" Azra's dad asked.

"His badge said 'Theo,' I think," she replied. He grunted in reply. "Azzy, baby, are you alright?"

"What happened just now?" He was still trying to catch his bearing after the way he awoke, and Tony was seated now, looking upon him in a slight panic.

"I'm going to complain about that orderly," Mr. Fell said.

"Good, because if you weren't I was going to," his wife responded.

"That was really unprofessional, the intolerant little asshole."

"What?" Azra asked, still wanting clarification.

"Don't you worry, poppet," Mrs. Fell cooed. "He spilled your soup when he tossed the tray down like that. I'll go fetch some napkins." She scurried out of the room.

"You mother's right; don't worry about it."

Tony realised then how they'd just been found and basically lept off of the bed. "Uh, Sir, Mr. Fell, I didn't know you two were coming back."

Azra's dad smiled, relaxing. "I wasn't going to wake you. It's been a rough few days. Angie and I were out getting a few things for Azra." He gestured to the shopping bag in the chair and held up the new book. "You know, kid," he handed the book to Azra. "You don't have to be so nervous. I won't bite."

"Dad, people find you a tad intimidating." Azra looked over the book. It was the newest in a series he'd been reading. "I know you know that."

The bigger man smiled. "And it’s kept my family safe everywhere I go."

"Sorry, Sir," Tony said, trying to look up at him respectfully.

Mr. Fell stayed standing. "So, how long have you been seeing my son?" He wasn't trying to threaten him, but Tony couldn't calm himself.

"T-The end of January, Sir."

"That long, eh? And stop with the 'sirs'. Call me Barney. It's short for Barnaby, since everyone asks."

"Yes, S- Barney..."

"Az can't be too exciting on dates. Probably just reads the whole time."

"Dad...!" Azra whined. "My dates are none of your business."

He laughed. "I'm just trying to get your skinny boyfriend to relax a little." Azra rolled his eyes. "Seriously, Tony was it, have a seat. Az, eat your dinner before it gets cold. Your mother's going to want to show you the clothes she bought for you to wear home."

Chapter Text

XV

Mr. Fell grunted, picking up a heavy box of books. Tony was right behind him with another. They still had quite a few things to load into the moving truck, but decided to get the books out of the way first. There were multiple boxes of them. This was their third trip already. Mrs. Fell was occupying herself packing up the kitchen.

“I’m sorry I can’t help,” Azra said.

“Nope. I’m not listening to that, Angel,” Tony said, stopping in the door. “Just read.” He left with the box.

“Yes, Dear,” his mother said. “We’ve got it covered.”

“Mum,” Azra said, finger still holding the page of the book he was reading. “Are you sure it’s okay for me to live with my boyfriend? Isn’t that… weird for you and Dad?”

“It’s a little odd, yes, but your father and I can see how much you care for each other, and we feel that Tony will take good care of you.”

“But… It’s only got the one bedroom…”

“I didn’t think that would be a problem,” she giggled.

“Mum!” Aza blushed to his ears.

“You don’t have to pretend with me, Dear. You two are young men. I know what college boys get up to.”

Azra was an even darker red now. “Y-You don’t expect us to share a bed while I’m healing, though.”

“I’m sure you two will work something out if there’s a problem.”

“Thanks again,” Tony said to Azra’s dad as they made it back into the flat. “It’s really a load off of my shoulders to not have to worry about rent. I was going to need to get a job.”

“Focus on school and taking care of my boy,” the large blonde man said.

“Are you sure that flat is okay, S- Barney?” So, Tony was having a similar conversation as he was, Azra thought.

“You two are dating. It’s normal nowadays, isn’t it?”

“Living together, yeah.” They both grabbed new boxes. “But…”

“I don’t want to know what you get up to in that room. Just say ‘thank you’ and move on.”

Tony was blushing too. “Th-Thank you, Barney.”

“I was asking the same thing,” Azra said.

“Really, Angel?” Azra nodded. Tony smiled. “I’m just glad I get to take care of you.”

Azra’s previous blush had just faded and now was replaced with a fresh flush to his cheeks, but his parents smiled to each other, continuing their work. Azra thought it best to put his nose back in his book.

The sun had set before they managed to move the last of the boxes. Azra had only been allowed to help by telling his mother how he wanted his books organized. Tony left to get his own things, claiming that Liam and Hans would help him, leaving Azra’s parents to unpack by themselves. This was Azra’s cue to take a nap.

Liam and Hans had already started packing for Tony while he was out. They didn’t know why Tony was moving out before the end of the lease, let alone why it was so sudden. When Tony finally made it back, he was happily surprised.

“Shit, guys, thanks. I thought I was going to be up all night packing.”

“Why the big hurry anyways?” Hans asked.

“I don’t wanna leave Azra alone his first night in our new place. His mom was ready to stay over and sleep on the couch.”

“Yeah, she can’t sleep in you bed ‘til we get it moved,” Liam said.

Tony waved his hand dismissively. “I’m leaving it here. Whoever moves in can have it, or throw it away, or whatever. I don’t need it.”

“Is your new place furnished?”

Tony paused the loading he was doing of a box. “Sort of. We have Azra’s stuff.”

“I thought his old place only had one bedroom,” Hans said.

“It… It did…”

Both guys looked up at Tony, not fully understanding. “So… You’re buying a new bed?” Liam asked.

“Don’t worry about it.”

“What happened to Azra anyway?” Liam decided to drop it. It didn’t matter where Tony slept. Not to him.

“Yeah, you just said he was in the hospital,” Hans said.

“You know that guy, Sanford?” Tony asked, taping the box.

“Yeah,” they responded.

“Ugly mother fucker,” Liam added.

“He attacked him,” Tony said.

“What?” Hans was the most surprised. “Why? Azra’s so nice.”

“That’s Azra’s news to share. But, yeah, Azra has broken bones and a stab wound. He can’t really take care of himself. Not 100%.”

“Shit…”

Tony nodded. “Shit’s right. Azra’s dad’s taking care of dealing with Sanford, but I don’t know how. I hope he rips his fucking teeth out,” Tony growled, almost slamming his boots into a box.

Hans and Liam shared a glance. They weren’t expecting Tony to be so pissed about Azra being hurt. “S-So… Azra’s dad?” Liam asked.

“Huh? Oh yeah. He’s not what I expected.”

“Which is?”

“I thought he’d be like Azra? But nope. He’s huge. Until I talked to him a bit, he scared the shit outta me.”

“He takes after his mom, then?” Hans asked.

“Most definitely.” Tony finished up that box and began another. He forgot how many clothes he owned. “Let’s get a move on. I don’t want to make them wait all night.”

*~*~*

Azra hated that he was forced to drop his classes, but he couldn’t really attend while he was on pain meds. If he wasn’t reading then he was sleeping, but at least Tony was with him. Tony had insisted on sleeping on the couch, so he wouldn’t inadvertently bump any of his boyfriend’s injuries in his sleep. It was hard enough watching Azra flinch as he held his shirt up when Tony changed out the dressings on the stab wound. The doctor had stitched him up neatly, so it didn’t bleed anymore, but it still required fresh gauze every day. There was something Azra refused to allow Tony to help him with, and that was bath time. He couldn’t get the stitches wet, but he’d figured out that baths were a good way to get the rest of him clean.

Tony and Azra had been living together for over a week, but it still didn’t seem real to either of them. Not even the domestic things like breakfast or Tony taking Azra to his therapy appointments made it feel as such.

Tony came home after classes on Friday, sitting nervously on the bed at Azra’s feet. He’d been thinking more and more about his conversation with Liam and Hans. They’d raised a question or two that he couldn’t answer, or that he wouldn't answer without Azra’s okay. This was their life now. It wasn’t just him and it wasn’t just Azra. This decision they would need to make together and Tony wasn’t sure how to bring it up.

“Was class bad, Dear?” Azra asked.

“Nah. It was fine. Ya know. Just class.”

“You look upset.”

Tony sighed. “We need to talk.”

Azra never wanted to hear those words. He’d shared his excitement with his new therapist about getting to live with his boyfriend, and now, just days later, it was going to end. Azra knew that Tony would be burdened by him and his injuries. And now… He didn’t want it to be over. Before Azra had a chance to control it, tears started slipping silently down his cheeks. He didn’t care what he’d do about his injuries. He didn’t care about taking care of himself or his new apartment. He didn’t want Tony to leave. What was he going to do?

“Whoa, Angel,” Tony said, moving closer. “What’s wrong? Are you in pain?”

“Just say what you were going to say.”

“I can get your pills. They’re just-”

“Please… I don’t need my pills.”

“But you’re crying…”

“What...?” Azra wiped his cheeks. It hurt to do with the bruised and broken bones, but he needed them gone. “What did you want to talk about?”

“Well…” Tony just wanted to be sure Azra was okay. The blonde seemed adamant to continue their conversation. He set his hand on Azra’s leg, only the blanket separating them. “I was thinking... Now that we live together soon would maybe be a good time to tell our friends?” Azra blinked in surprise. Tony didn’t want to break up? “I know you might be nervous after what Sanford did, but… I want…” Tony felt shy suddenly and blushed, averting his eyes. “I want to tell them that you’re mine. You can say no. We can keep waiting.”

It was a scary thought, Tony was right about that, but also. Azra was happy that he wanted to claim him. And honestly, Tony’s friends seemed so accepting of differences and oddities that Azra felt okay coming out to them.

“Are you sure you’re ready to come out?” Azra finally asked. “You said yourself you weren’t sure what your sexuality is.”

“It doesn’t matter what it is. I just want…” Tony finally looked back at the blonde, a smile in his hazel eyes. “I just want everyone to know. I don’t want to keep this a secret anymore.” Tony wanted to tell him everything he planned on saying before. He wanted to tell him he loved him, but he wanted Azra to believe him, and would he when he was so badly injured? Would he see it as pity? Did he see this as pity? “I’m yours, and you’re mine. Right, Angel?”

Azra smiled and nodded. He was Tony’s. Tony said it himself. And Tony wanted to be his right back. It wasn’t something that he realised that he needed to hear. “Okay,” Azra said. “We can order pizzas and invite them over for movie night here at our place.” It felt real now. So suddenly them living together felt real to both of them. “I’m sure Baal will like a break from hosting.”

“Are you up to that? Physically?”

“Tony Dear, I’ll be moving from sitting in the bedroom to sitting on the couch. I think I can manage.”

“God, I can’t wait until your jaw his healed so I can kiss you again.”

Azra offered his good arm. “Come here, Darling.” Tony scooted up the mattress and into that inviting arm. Azra squeezed it tight around his shoulders. He set his forehead against the ginger’s. “I can’t wait either. Let’s not.”

“It’ll hurt you, though.”

“Pain for a moment is worth getting to kiss you again after so long.”

“Tell me to stop,” Tony said, breaking the distance and finally kissing him again. It hadn’t even been two weeks, but it felt like so much longer.

Azra flinched a little with it. He decided to keep his mouth closed, just letting their lips press into and massage against each other. Tony was more than happy with this, only wishing he could crush his boyfriend in his arms. He just needed to be patient. Azra would be better before they knew it. He could be patient.

Azra didn’t know if he could be patient. He wanted to kiss him deeper, to pleasure him again. This man wasn’t even doing anything special and he still wanted him so badly. He never should’ve had a taste of him. Despite the trauma and the injuries, he still thought about that night over and over, remembering Tony’s voice as he sucked him and he wanted to do it again. But he couldn’t. Not yet anyway.

Tony sat back, just gazing at Azra and his cute beanie. It was like Azra’s mother subconsciously knew how precious he would look with the hat on. He felt so happy.

“I’ll give everybody a call and make dinner.”

“What did you pick for tonight?”

“Well, I still only know how to make cheese toasties, so I’m heating up that frozen lasagna. Think you can chew that? It’s soft.”

“Once I’m better you wont need to worry about cooking.”

“Yeah, we have like five more weeks. I’m sure I can figure out something. Chicken looks easy.”

“It is easy.”

“There ya go. My next experimental cuisine.”

Azra had to giggle. He simply adored this man.

Tony had to make Azra sit. No cleaning needed to be done. The ginger had taken care of the paper plates and sodas. The pizza was on the way. Baal was bringing the movies. But Azra wanted to be useful. Tony wasn’t even going to let him heat up his own soup. The lasagna had hurt to eat last night. Azra wished he was well enough for solid food, but at least this way he could keep the weight off while he wasn’t allowed to exercise. It was a blessing disguised as a curse, he decided.

Before too long, not only had the pizza arrived, but so had Baal, Danny, Liam, Hans, and Uriel. Tony briefly considered inviting Lucy, but still hated his face, so decided against it. Before Tony played the first DVD, he decided to discuss the main elephant in the room.

“I’m sure you want to know what happened to Azra. Not all of you know.”

“Who doesn’t?” Baal asked. She’d been the first to know.

“Well, Danielle, for sure. And I know Liam and Han probably want more details?” There were collective nods. “Azra, would you like to tell them? Or me?”

“My therapist said it would be good to talk about it. Uriel, I didn’t give you the whole picture before.” They all waited, curious. “Last week Sanford came to my flat and attacked me – hence the sudden move. He broke a lot of bones. He… stabbed me.” Danny took a horrified breath. “And he cut my hair…!” For some reason, Azra sounded the most upset by this. It was more of a reminder in the mirror than anything else. He already didn’t like how he looked, and the terrible mess of his hair hadn’t helped. He didn’t want to shave it off either.

“Why?” Hans asked. “Why would your ‘friend’ do that to you? I can’t imagine anyone hating you that much.”

“He had a fair reason.”

“He did not!” Tony barked. “Fucking rubbish, bigoted reason. Nothing ‘fair’ about it, Ang- Azra.”

Azra picked at his fingers. “Whatever the reason… He had one that he thought was good enough.”

“Can you tell us?” Danielle asked, a softness to her voice that no one had heard before.

Azra nodded. “It’s hard… It’s… I’m scared to say.” Tony held his hand, not caring who was seeing.

“It’s okay,” Baal said. “We’re your friends.”

“Your real friends,” Uriel interjected.

He met their gazes. “I’m gay.”

“And the Queen’s a woman,” Liam said. “So, why’d he do it?”

Hans slapped Liam on the back of the head. “Fuckin’ idjit.”

“That’s why?” Uriel snapped, the pieces fitting together. “That son of a bitch! When I get done with him-”

Azra chuckled, already feeling better now that he could see how cool everyone was with the news. “Don’t worry, Uriel. Dad’s got it covered.” She’d been just as mad in the hospital.

“Well,” she tried to relax. “Thanks for telling us, Azra. I know that was hard for you to say.”

“Even if it was kind of obvious,” Danny said.

“Did everyone know before I told them?” the blonde asked his boyfriend.

“Seems like it,” Tony responded. “Who’s ready to watch this cheesy horror flick?”

Killer Klowns From Outer Space was certainly an interesting movie. Not even Azra was spooked by it. Luckily no one asked why the blonde wasn’t sharing the pizza. He didn’t know who all other than Tony and Uriel knew he had a broken jaw. He let himself enjoy full-sugar soda, loving and missing the flavor. Tonight’s indulgence would be fine, especially since he and Tony hadn’t shared the biggest news of the night yet. They’d decided to let their friends get through the first movie in case the news led to lengthy conversation. They’d all seemed fine with Azra being gay, but what of their closer friend coming out that he liked men – or really one man in particular.

Almost everyone was diving into another slice at the end of the movie when Tony stood beside the couch, right at Azra’s side. They shared a glance and Tony took it away.

“We had something else to tell you guys.”

“And we’re up for questions if you have any after,” Azra added.

“You all know I moved in pretty quick so I could take care of Azra while he healed. He doesn’t have a lot of close male friends, so I assume that’s why no one really questioned it seriously.”

“And I’m sure you all noticed the singular bedroom.”

“Yeah,” Uriel said. “Tony, do you sleep on the couch? That’s going to get old real quick.”

“I do sleep on the couch,” he confirmed. “But it will only be temporary.”

“Then where-?” Hans began, but Azra interrupted.

“In the bedroom, of course.”

“Won’t that be weird?” Danny asked. “Sharin’ a bed? And when the other bloke ain’t straight?”

“It’s a good thing I’m not either, then.” Tony had said it so casually that they almost didn’t notice what it was that he’d even said.

“Say what now?” Hans asked. Only Baal wasn’t shocked, and that was only because she knew already.

Tony put his hand on Azra’s shoulder. “And it won’t be weird, because he’s my boyfriend.”

“What about your girlfriend?” Liam asked, causing a groan from Danielle.

“Yeah,” Hans added. “The hot blonde number you told us about?”

Tony gestured to Azra. “The hot blonde number in question,” he smirked. Azra had to blush. He didn’t see himself that way and it was embarrassing to hear such a compliment. “Blue eyes? Nice ass?” He kept gesturing to his boyfriend. “All this time I assumed you dumbasses would figure it out.”

“You’re a virgin?” Liam asked, somehow remembering that part of Tony’s ‘girlfriend’s’ description.

Azra turned red to his ears. “Tony!”

“They kept wanting to know if I had sex!” He defended himself.

“So you said that?!”

“What’s the big deal, Angel? It’s true.”

Azra covered his face with his good hand, too embarrassed to look at any of them.

“Still?” Uriel asked.

“With Tony as your boyfriend?” Danny added.

“What’s that mean?” Tony asked, feeling offended, but he wasn’t sure why.

“Darling, were you a rake before you met me?” Azra asked, feeling a little less embarrassed now that their friends were picking on him too.

“That depends on what a rake is.”

Azra giggled right out loud, flinching with it. “Did you sleep around, My Dear?”

“Uh, Well… I mean I-”

“It’s okay. You never told me of your devilish ways.” He placed his hand on Tony’s, gazing happily over at him. “You can tell me.”

“The answer is ‘yes’,” Danny said. “He was a pretty big whore before you.”

“Jesus Christ,” Tony cursed. It was his turn to cover his face.

“Stop exaggerating, guys,” Baal finally butted in. “You act like a handful of girls in three years is a lot.”

“Two and a half,” Tony mumbled.

“When did you two start going out?” Uriel asked.

“The end of January,” Azra said.

“That means…?” Liam was thinking.

“Yes…!” Tony sighed. “Every time since January, it’s been Azra, my boyfriend. No one else.”

“Well,” Uriel said, standing. “I’m happy for you guys. You’re really cute together.”

“We never said we weren’t happy for you,” Hans said.

“Just surprised,” Liam confirmed.

“Yeah,” Danny added. “You never struck any of us as gay. I don’t think.”

“Well, I’m not gay,” Tony said.

“But…?”

“I like girls still, dudes obviously. I don’t really care.”

“So, you’re bisexual?” Uriel asked.

“I guess? I still don’t know for sure.”

“So…” Liam began nervously.

“What?”

“Who’s gonna pitch and who’s gonna catch?”

Azra’s entire face burned red again. Tony groaned and started to walk away, before he turned back around. “Really, Liam? Really?”

“What? It’s an honest question. I know I’m not the only one thinkin’ it.”

“We’ll get back to you on that…” Azra finally spoke up, still wholly embarrassed. “If it ever happens.”

“Really?” Liam didn’t believe it.

“No, not really,” Tony barked. “It’s none of your fuckin’ business!”

“Well, if you don’t say, then we’re gonna assume.”

“Have fun with that.”

“Dear, why don’t we start the next movie?” Azra asked. “I think some Phantasm, or whatever it is, will sufficiently distract them.”

“Yeah. Good plan, Angel.”

“I think that answered your question,” Hans whispered.

*~*~*

Sanford was running late for class. He huffed and puffed while he jogged from his parking space and to the building his first class was in. He’d barely made it into the lobby when he ran into, literally ran into, Mr. Barnaby Fell. Sanford froze, neck craning to look up at the man.

“Mr. Fell! W-What brings you here?” the younger man said. He knew the answer, but he’d hoped he was wrong. No way Azra told on him, he was way too cowardly for something like that.

“I spoke to your parents last night.”

“What about?”

The blonde man glared. “I think you know.”

“Um…”

“I don’t know why you thought it was up to you to make a decision about my son’s life.”

“What do you mean, Sir?” He was desperately trying to play dumb, but he was a horrible actor.

“But by the kindness and grace of your victim you are allowed to finish out your summer semester. You are allowed to remain free. You are allowed to keep living your life. If it was up to me… I’m not so lenient.”

“Sir-”

“Stop pretending like you don’t know what you did!” Sanford flinched away, stepping back, but Mr. Fell wouldn't let him get away. “I’ve already told your parents what you did to my son…! I’m not leaving until you admit it to me.”

“Y-Yes Sir… But…”

“But what?”

“Can we go somewhere more private?”

“No. We’re not going anywhere.”

Sanford had to swallow the lump in his throat. “I-I’m late for class.”

The older man crossed his arms. “I don’t care.”

“W-What do you want me to admit?” Mr. Fell flexed his muscles. “I-I beat him up a little…! You can’t say you agree with his disgusting lifestyle.” He glared at Sanford, waiting. “Okay…! So, I hurt him a little, but he deserved it!”

“Why?”

“He’s a fag!”

It took every ounce of Barnaby’s will power not to punch the fat little man. “Insult my son to my face again!”

“Why don’t you care? It’s fucking gross, is what it is!”

“You still haven’t admitted what you did!”

“I already did! I hurt him a little-”

“You almost killed my son!”

“If he keeps flaunting it around, I’ll do it again!”

Mr. Fell thought his teeth might break with how tight he had to hold his jaw. He pulled his cell phone from his back pocket. He showed it to the boy, letting him see that a call was active, and the call was to that boy’s father. Sanford went pale. The blonde put the phone to his ear. “Did you get that, Charles?” He held the phone out to the boy. “Your father wants a word.”

Chapter Text

XVI

It had been three weeks since Azra got his stitches removed. He’d been making strides in healing, though there was still a while to go. His ribs were doing well enough that Tony had started sleeping in the bed. Azra was still on mostly liquids, because of his jaw, but had been having fun experimenting with smoothies whenever Tony was at school. Tony insisted on doing everything he could when he was home. He usually heated up canned and boxed soup for them to eat. He still hadn’t moved past cheese toasties.

Azra wasn’t sure how he’d managed to gain weight. It was only a few kilos, but he was already worrying. His therapist had told him it could have been the steroids he was on in addition to the swelling from his injuries, and that once he healed he would most likely drop it. Azra couldn’t help but feel some of the food he’d been eating was also to blame. Perhaps it was the cheese? Or the ice cream Tony would bring him almost every night? Either way, he needed to figure out how to lose it.

Luckily, now that Tony wasn’t having to help him change out the bandages on his side, he was able to hide the three kilos. He couldn’t help but be concerned that the redhead would notice and that when he did he wouldn’t be interested anymore. He hadn’t noticed. Azra’s therapist had even told him the weight wasn’t noticeable, but other than his terrible hair it was all he could see.

He was laying in bed after his shower, reading, while Tony made dinner for them. It smelled like a cheese-based soup again. The worry was starting back up, though he tried to push it away and enjoy his book. Maybe if he only ate while Tony was home? Throwing up hurt his ribs and his jaw, so that wasn’t an option. He shook his head, hoping to get the thought away with it.

Tony opened the bedroom door all the way with his butt, backing into the room, two bowls of soup in his hands. “Broccoli and cheddar tonight, Angel.” Azra took the bowl, doubtful he could eat the broccoli. “Don’t worry, I squished all the broccoli so you wouldn’t have to strain your jaw.”

“Cheese again, Dear?”

He sat on his side of the bed and was already eating. “I thought you liked cheese?”

“I do… I guess I’m just not hungry?”

“What did you have for lunch? A smoothie again?”

“Yes.”

“You need to eat, Angel.”

Azra sighed. “Thank you for cooking, but I don’t want to have so many calories.”

“Is that what this is about? You’re healing, and you need to eat.”

Azra put the bowl on the side table. “I’m not hungry.”

“Azra!” The blonde whipped his face around in surprise. “You better not be trying to slim!”

“I can’t exercise, Dear. What do you expect?”

“I expect you to eat! I expect you to try and stay healthy while you have broken bones…!” Why couldn’t Azra tell how worried he was about him all the time?

“Then let me cook!”

“You need to rest.” Tony didn’t know how many times he had to remind him of that.

Azra groaned, rolling his eyes. He was so bored of resting. “I do rest! I rest all bloody day! If you won’t let me cook, then make something healthy!”

“Fuck!” Tony got out of bed and stomped around, snatching the bowl from beside Azra. “What the fuck do you want me to cook then!?”

Azra’s jaw hurt from trying to hold it closed. He was trembling and trying not to show that he wanted to cry. This was their first real argument, and that fact scared him. “Broth based…! Vegetable based...!”

Tony noticed the look of determination, but also the look of fear on the blonde’s face. He eased his stance. He could eat the cheddar and broccoli. He could make Azra something else. His voice softened. “Like what?”

“Tomato bisque? Butternut squash bisque? Bone broth?”

“I think we have some sweet potato soup?”

A single tear broke free when he nodded and Azra banished it quickly with a swipe of his hand. What a stupid thing for them to have fought about. “That sounds lovely.”

Tony headed out, pausing at the door. “I’m sorry I yelled, Angel.” And then he was out, on his way to the kitchen.

Azra sunk down into the mattress and covered his face with the blanket. He didn’t know what he was going to do. It was a good thing he had an appointment tomorrow. He needed to talk. He needed advice. Azra was again overreacting, too deep in his head. He tried to tell himself it was just a little row. All couples fought sometimes. It was healthy, right? Still, he couldn’t keep from worrying.

Even later that night when Tony kissed him goodnight on the forehead so sweetly, and held his hand gently, he worried. He couldn’t sleep. The sun was rising before he did. Tony gave him a kiss on his temple before he left for class. He made a mental note to go get groceries on his way home. If his angel wanted healthy soups, then he’d find more for him.

*~*~*

Tony fell asleep studying. There was only a few weeks left of summer semester and he needed to start getting ready for finals and review the beginning material, the material he’d had trouble learning because he’d been so distracted by everything going on. Azra cleaned his books and papers up for him, then decided to go to bed too. He risked a cuddle, hand on his boyfriend’s chest.

The redhead was lost in a dream, and he knew it. Azra’s hair had grown back out so sweet and curly. The blonde’s pale legs were resting on either side of him where he sat and his soft hands were on Tony’s bare chest. His shirt bunched around his soft hips. His face was beautiful, pink and shy.

“Is this right?” Azra asked through a gasp, slowly rocking his hips.

Tony had a soft cheek in each hand, squeezing and guiding him in his movements. “You’re doing great, Angel.”

Azra bit into his bottom lip and held his breath. He tried to move of his own accord, even with the ginger’s guidance. Tony moved his own hips now, and the blonde gasped loudly, finally inhaling. The ginger sat up to hold him, rolling them over. Azra’s thighs tightened, holding them together while they moved. Then it was over for him. He closed his blue eyes, threw his arms around Tony’s neck, and moaned. Tony didn’t want to let go of his ass. It was so soft, so supple.

When his alarm clock went off he groaned. Why was it already morning? He wanted to finish that dream. It was the first one he’d had where they’d actually gone all the way. Granted, they hadn’t been able to do anything in months. Not even a good hard French kiss. His body and subconscious were at their limit. Last night Azra had been in his pajamas, the trunks cupped his ass so well, and it had been so hard to keep his attention on his schoolwork. His exhaustion hadn’t helped.

“You have to get up, Dear,” Azra groaned. “Or turn it off.” He rolled against the redhead, letting his leg rest against him.

“Sorry, Angel.” He slapped the clock, snoozing it.

Azra giggled through his nose and nudged his thigh against his boyfriend. One part of him was very awake. “Good morning.”

“Mornin’ Angel.”

Azra slid his arm over, glad it was well enough to use, and cupped Tony where he strained against his boxers. “Want some help with this?”

“You haven’t been cleared for any of that.”

“My hands are fine.” He massaged there lightly.

“A-Angel…” Tony rolled to his side and held his boyfriend as gently as he could. He didn’t want to say no.

“I want to.”

The ginger kissed his forehead, giving silent consent. Azra exposed him, both hands venturing. He smiled. They both did. It had been so long since they’d felt each other like this. Two months was an agonizingly long time. Azra had missed it just as much as Tony. He wished his jaw would go ahead and heal faster. He wanted to taste him again, not only his lips, but more. He missed kissing him. He missed everything they weren’t allowed to do, and even the things they hadn’t had the chance to do yet.

Tony’s arms trembled. He wanted to hold him tighter, but he didn’t want to hurt him. All he could do was grip Azra’s shirt, knuckles white from the strain. All he could do was moan into his messy blonde hair. Maybe he could return the favor? Would that be okay? The ginger forced a hand away and pressed it into Azra’s trunks. The blonde was hard too.

“You don’t need to do that,” the blonde said, breath catching.

“Why not?”

“My ribs. I can’t breathe too hard.”

“I can’t leave you like this.”

Azra moaned briefly. He wanted it. It would probably be fine. It probably would only hurt a tiny bit. But what if Tony noticed his muffin top? He needed to get back in shape first. “Y-You need to. It’ll hurt…”

Tony reluctantly removed his hands and Azra let him hold onto his butt. They wanted to kiss so badly. Tony kept his face in his hair, the wonderful scent of it only helping him come to his climax. He caught his breath, still holding the blonde. It had been ages since Azra had let him touch him, even before the incident. It was already difficult enough to do so, and after that dream, it was even more difficult.

“Can I kiss you?” Tony asked.

“Be gentle.” God he tried. They rarely kissed on the lips. With Azra’s broken jaw it was just too risky. This was maybe the fourth time since the attack. Azra flinched, but it was worth it. They smiled against each other, giggling a little. “Go get a shower, Dear. You don’t want to be late for class.

*~*~*

Azra decided to help Tony study for his finals. True, he didn’t really understand most of the material, but it was extremely helpful. Tony was grateful, and by the time he left the flat for the first exam, he felt more prepared than he thought he would be. It had been a rough semester.

It was smack dab in the middle of finals when Azra had a doctor’s appointment. He chose to take a taxi, so as not to cause Tony any more stress to his week. Azra was both excited and worried. He felt a lot better, and was actually managing to chew soft foods. He didn’t want to hope for too much, but at least he knew he’d get to go back to school.

The moment he got home he changed into his exercise clothing. He was allowed mild exercise and he wanted to go for a walk, maybe do some light yoga. He needed to start doing what he could. He needed to get back into shape. He didn’t want to give Tony any reasons to stop being attracted to him. His beanie was uncomfortably hot while he walked, but he hadn’t been to get his hair cut yet. He was afraid that the short bits were still too short. Tony had done nothing but assure him it was growing out well, but he didn’t see it. He’d just have to deal with the sweat.

He was already sore all over as he climbed out of the shower. He was out of shape, and he knew he may have gone too far with the yoga. Maybe he should re-read the pamphlet the doctor gave him. He thought what he’d done was okay. He tried in vain to style his hair while it was wet. He changed his mind, though, and took the hair-dryer to it before putting on a clean hat.

He decided to try and work the soreness away by starting a load of laundry and running the vacuum. It seemed to help. He started dinner. He wanted to surprise Tony with something on the list of foods the doctor had given him to try out.

Tony was surprised to hear the dryer and smell the food when he made it home. Azra smiled at him from the kitchen. “How was your test, Dear?”

“Pretty easy. You’re cooking? The appointment went well, I take it?”

“I was cleared for some exercising and the doctor gave me things to try eating.”

“That’s great, Angel.” The ginger knew how much Azra had been wanting to be allowed to exercise, though he really wished he could see him the way Tony saw him. “What are you making?”

“Cottage pie. I had a healthy lunch,” he lied. He hadn’t eaten yet today. Just water and tea. “So, it should be fine.”

“Did you do chores? Is that okay?”

“She said to do more things around the house, for my muscles.” This was true.

“And school?”

“Once it opens up, I’ll be signing up for my classes.”

“That’s wonderful, Angel.”

“Relax a bit, Darling. I’ll let you know when food’s ready.”

Tony insisted on helping Azra fold the clothes after dinner and then they curled up together on the couch to watch Tristan + Isolde. Tony had wanted to take the night off from studying, because he felt more than prepared for this final. But Azra wasn’t paying attention. One thing he’d assumed was okay, but was too embarrassed to ask his doctor, was kissing. It was all he could think about now that they were pressed together.

He didn’t even know what was going on in the film. He pressed his lips to Tony’s throat, kissing it softly over and over, almost lazily. The redhead smiled, wondering where this might go. The blonde moved up to his jaw, licking a bit now, and Tony decided to take over, cupping the back of Azra’s head gently and pulling him up to him. Azra’a lips were hot, already plump and wanting. Just this was plenty. He didn’t expect more.

The blonde grasped his boyfriend’s face intruding with his tongue. Tony’s eyes opened slightly in surprise, but it was short-lived. He held him close, dared to hold him tighter. He hadn’t gotten to experience this sort of passion from the bibliophile in so long. He was almost instantly turned on. Azra felt it, he was getting there too. He wanted to touch him, so he did.

Tony groaned into his mouth. He wasn’t sure this was a good idea, but he also wasn’t about to stop it. If Azra was up for this, then so was he. Azra got on his knees over him, getting more into the kissing and foregoing his playing. He wrapped his arms around Tony’s neck, gasping from just the kissing. Tony’s hand was instantly on Azra’s backside, gripping and massaging. He loved how soft it had gotten over the summer.

The blonde broke away, gazing into the ginger’s eyes, catching his breath. He knew what he wanted to do, and prayed to god that it wouldn’t hurt. There was only one way to find out. He slid down to the floor, easing between his boyfriend’s thighs, pressing his hands up his from his knees. He didn’t let his gaze falter.

Tony tried not to smirk, tried not to assume. It was literally something he thought about over and over. There was no way, right? Not so soon after Azra’s recovery. Was he even completely recovered yet? Surely not. Right?

Azra’s hands were on him again, pulling him from his jeans to stoke him more effectively. The he kissed him there, right at the base. They both inhaled with the sensation and that only spurned the blonde on further. His tongue was next, feeling and tasting, licking gently. It tickled, but it felt good too. Tony wasn’t sure what to do with his hands, so he pulled his shirt up a bit.

Azra took this as a hint, and kissed up the shaft before he licked around his head, sneaking the tip of his tongue under the foreskin there. God, this was what he’d wanted to do for weeks. His hand was working too, massaging and stroking as he took him into his mouth finally. Tony cursed quietly, hands instantly pushing Azra’s hat off and digging his fingers into his soft blonde hair.

Azra moaned a little in his chest with the sensation, only taking Tony deeper, licking and sucking even more as he did so. He pulled the ginger’s pants down a little further, giving himself more room to take him in, to taste him. They were both moaning. Tony bit his lip, trying to keep quiet. Azra was having trouble catching his breath from his. That wasn’t going to be enough to make him stop. He wouldn’t. Not until he got to drink him down completely.

“A-Angel…!” Tony groaned out, tossing his head back into the couch.

“Mmm,” was all he got in response besides more fervent movements.

Azra was truly enjoying himself, though, yes, his jaw was aching. He decided it was worth it. It wasn’t only his jaw aching. Tony didn’t notice it, but Azra had taken one hand away, pressing it down into his sleep pants and past his underwear. He needed release as much as his boyfriend did, so he stroked himself as he manipulated the cock in his mouth, down his throat.

Tony’s hips were trembling. He was trying not to thrust. For some reason Azra figured this out and parted from him briefly.

“You... can do it, Dear. Please… Please do it.”

Then Tony was in his mouth again. He pushed his tongue out to cover his bottom lip and teeth, opening his jaw a little wider. He held Tony’s knee, ready to take whatever may happen. He wasn’t sure, but he also didn’t need to wait long. At first it was a little uncomfortable, then he realised how he had to old his head and his throat. Feeling his boyfriend thrust up into his mouth wasn’t anything like he would have imagined, had he even thought to. Tony’s hands tightened in Azra’s hair, unconsciously holding him there. Azra’s occupied hand moved again in time with Tony’s hips. He was moaning, though it was incredibly muffled and overshadowed by the other, wet, noises.

“C-Can I cum?” Tony asked, not stopping, but his own pleasurable sounds growing. Azra responded by sucking and licking against the shaft that filled him. “Shit, Angel…!”

He didn’t take his eyes off of his lovely boyfriend, didn’t release his hands. Azra had taken him in to the base and felt him swallow, before he pulled back slightly to drink him. Azra’s underwear was soaked. He wanted to shout, but he was too busy making sure his boyfriend had nothing left.

Azra finally parted, gasping, mouth agape. Tony could see the spit and the cum keeping them tethered for a moment longer before it dripped down Azra’s chin. He watched the blonde lick it away as he gasped. His eyes were watering, but his cheeks were red. Then their eyes met and Tony need to kiss him, so he took his shoulders and pulled him up into his lap, kissing him hard. Neither cared whether it would hurt or not. All they cared about was feeling more of each other.

They heard the movie play back to the menu before they bothered to stop their energetic snogging. Tony brushed Azra’s messy hair from his forehead and smiled. God, he just loved him so much. He was so beautiful. Azra didn’t know how he’d ever lived without him. He didn’t think he’d ever want to again. He couldn’t get enough of him. His heart felt erratic and he could hardly breathe effectively.

Azra loved him. He loved him and he would do anything, absolutely anything, to keep him.

Chapter Text

XVII

Azra’s earliest class wasn’t until ten, but Tony still drove him to school bright and early because Tony had an eight ‘o clock class. Azra could read until his first class started. He didn’t get a lot of reading in, however, because Jessica and Lauren had found him in the common area. No one had seen too much of him since the incident, so they were excited to catch up.

“Why did that guy attack you, anyway?” Jess asked. “If that’s okay to ask.”

“I never got to tell you two, did I?” Azra said, finally putting his book away. The girls shook their heads in response. He took a deep breath. “I told you who it was, right?” They nodded. “Well, he… It’s because…” He tugged at his hat. He was still afraid for people to know, even if it had gone well with he and Tony’s mutual friends. “I’m gay…” he whispered.

Lauren patted his knee. “Thanks for telling us.”

He met her eye, still not relaxing. Were they not surprised either? “You’re both… okay with that?”

“Yeah,” Jess said. “Why wouldn’t we be? You’re our friend.”

“I thought…” He sighed again, relaxing a little finally. “I thought Sandy was my friend too.”

“We’re your real friends.”

“Yeah,” Lauren agreed.

“Thanks… Say, what time are you taking lunch today?”

“’Bout one. Why?”

“Me too! Come sit with Tony and me.”

“You finally have lunch with him, then?” Jess asked. “You know, if you like him, you can tell us.”

“Of course I like him. He’s… He’s my boyfriend…” the blonde felt his cheeks burn. The girls were giddy.

“He is?”

“He’s gay too?” Lauren asked.

“No, but we think he’s maybe bisexual,” Azra explained. “He’s not really sure yet.”

“Well, if you’re having lunch with him, then we’ll leave you guys to it.”

“You really can come if you want. We see each other all the time at home.”

“You live together?” Jessica as beside herself.

“I told you I moved.”

“Yeah,” Lauren said, “But you didn’t say you were living with your boyfriend!”

“Shh…!” Azra tried. His entire face was red. “Don’t go yelling about it.”

“Shit, sorry.”

“Either way,” Jess said. “You have a good lunch with him. We can eat together a different day.”

Having lunch with Tony was very nice. They’d found a table at the small cafe near the main science building. Azra drank his bottle of water and nibbled his grapes while Tony talked about his new classes. Tony didn’t think that what Azra had chosen for lunch looked like nearly enough food, so he offered him a few of his chips with ketchup.

“No thank you, Dear,” the blonde said, popping another grape in his mouth.

“Aren’t you hungry, Angel?”

“Oh, no, this is more than enough.” Even if the chips smelled divine. They were still hot from the fryer.

“Have you decided on dinner, then?”

“I think so. I was looking over the recipes that Dr. Bishop gave me this morning.”

“Do we need to go by the shops when I take you home before my greenhouse hours?”

“I don’t think so. I’m allowed my bike if I need anything. It isn’t far.”

“Can’t wait. You’re a great cook. Much better than me.”

“Thank you, Dear.”

The moment Tony drove away to head to the greenhouse, Azra was out the door. He wanted to get in a quick walk before he started cooking. There was still more than enough time. Tony usually asked why Azra didn’t finish his plate. Every evening he was asking. Tonight he chose not to say anything. He knew Azra would just brush it off, or say he was full. He would say he got full up on a snack. He wasn’t sure what to do. Not until Azra needed something from his wallet, and Tony saw the appointment card for his next therapy session.

The blonde was clearly irritated when he got home from his appointment on Wednesday, brand new book in his hand. It looked like a journal. He dropped it onto the coffee table and sighed, sitting, scowling.

“What’s wrong, Angel?” the ginger asked. He’d offered to pick him up, but Azra had told him it was fine, to study. “Bad session?”

“That’s a word for it…” He crossed his arms.

“You’re probably tired of talking but, do you want to talk about it?”

“She wants me to keep a journal! Write down my food intake, my exercises, and my thoughts throughout the day…”

“Isn’t that a good thing?”

“How?”

“Well,” Tony chose his words wisely. He had to tell Azra what he wanted to hear, because he really wanted him to listen to his therapist. “Won’t it be helpful for your slimming? To keep track of it all?”

Azra sat back up, no longer slouching to pout. “That’s true.”

“She knows your food restricted right now, right?”

“Yes. She and Dr. Bishop share notes to help in my recovery.”

“There you go.”

“Speaking of food,” Azra stood. “I should start dinner.”

“How much homework do you have?”

“It’s not terrible yet. Just a small essay after I complete my reading. Then other reading.”

“I have an outline due day after tomorrow on root mold.”

“Sounds riveting,” Azra teased.

“It’s the most interesting thing I’ve ever studied,” the red head said sarcastically.

The thin middle-aged woman closed the journal in her lap and removed her reading glasses. Azra had been sitting quietly across from her. He could tell by the look on her face that she was very unhappy with what she just read.

“That’s all you have to eat this week, then?”

“Yes. I told you I was on a diet.”

“A starvation diet? Excess exercising?”

“Are you… mad a me?”

“No. I’m not mad at you.” She handed the journal back. “I’m worried about you. This is far from healthy.”

“I need to lose weight. I can’t get fat again.”

“Why are you so concerned about gaining a few pounds?” She’d started seeing him to help him with the attack, but there was a lot more going on. “Can you explain it to me?”

“It’s just… My whole life I was the fat kid. I was teased… bullied. I only had two real friends. Sanford wasn’t even that, it turns out.” He sat on his hands. “I never want to go back to that. For the first time in my life people are nice to me. For the first time people are finding me attractive. I have a boyfriend. I never thought that would happen. And… that scares me.”

“It scares you?”

“Yes.” It terrified him. “If I lose the body I had when we met, then he might not want me anymore.”

“Do you think his caring for you is superficial?”

“I don’t know? It’s… That’s probably all it is…” He felt the tears well up, entirely out of his control. “I want it to be more. It will never be more if I get fat! I-I think I love him…”

She considered letting the boy know how his boyfriend had called her numerous times over the past two weeks, deeply concerned, and that he obviously cared very deeply for him and his well-being. She considered it, but knew she had to make Azra do this leg work, or he’d never get past it.

“Why don’t you talk to Tony, express these concerns?”

“B-but what if he hates that? W-What if he breaks up with me!?”

“What makes you think he doesn’t share your feelings?”

“It happened back in year eight... Um, I think you say eight grade here?” She nodded. “One of the more popular girls asked me out. I didn’t really like her like that, but no one had ever had a crush on me before, so I thought maybe I’d like her after we spent time with one another. I was excited to have a proper girlfriend. We were sitting at lunch the next day and a group of her friends surrounded our table. The guys tipped a full trash bin out over my head… They were all making pig noises at me…” He wiped his cheek clean. “She was too. That’s when I realised it was all just a prank, a way to humiliate me. What I have with Tony feels real… But what if it’s not?”

“That’s a valid fear, but I really feel like you should talk to your boyfriend about the things that upset you.”

“I wouldn’t know what to say…”

“How about this. I want you to write down what you’d like to say to him. You can put it in your journal. Rewrite it as many times as you think you need to until it says what you’d like to tell him. Then you can tell him. You can even read it to him, or have him read it himself.”

“I suppose I can try that.”

“Keep up with your normal entries, and please try to eat more. Scatter little meals throughout the day if that makes it easier. I can’t dictate your exercise, that’s Dr. Bishop’s job, but try to tone it down until you speak with her?”

“Yes, Dr. Young.”

He spent the next few days trying to write to Tony, all while lying about his food intake and exercise. He listed everything he ate, but also anything Tony ate. If he walked for an hour, he only walked for half an hour. Yoga for two hours, no it was only forty-five minutes. He played down the anxiety writing that letter was causing him during his reflections. But it was really causing him a great deal of anxiety. So much so that all he wanted was a pizza. He couldn’t even focus on reading. Instead, he took long showers and found anything he could chew to nibble on.

Friday, after Tony had dropped him home, he finally ordered that pizza. A large Hawaiian pizza with cheesy bread and a full-sugar soda. He’d finished off the bread and was half-way through the pizza and two-liter by the time Tony made it home.

“Had a craving, did you Angel?” the ginger asked, plucking a slice out of the box. “Pineapple? Are you some sort of heathen?” But he ate it anyway.

“Cooked pineapple is delicious.”

“Yeah, it’s alright, I guess.”

Azra took another slice. “Seeing as it’s the weekend, would you be opposed to a date tonight?”

Tony almost choked on his bite. “Really?” They hadn’t been on a real date since before the attack. “Yeah! Where were you thinking?”

“Nowhere special. Maybe the movies?”

“What’s out?”

“No sure.”

Tony dialed a number on his mobile and listened for a few minutes before he hung up. “Nothing too exciting. Unless you want to see the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It’s a prequel.”

Azra dipped the bone of his pizza into the little container of marinara sauce. “That sounds horrible.”

Tony laughed. “I thought you’d say that. Nothin’ for it. It’s October.”

“Maybe we could stay in, then? Rent something?”

“I think the theatre department has a show on right now.”

“Oh? What are they performing?”

“Phantom of the Opera? I think.”

“Let’s do that!”

“And tickets’ll be cheap since we’re students.”

“We’d better get going if we don’t want to miss the beginning.”

Tony didn’t know how to be silent during a show, but his little comments about Raoul had made Azra force himself to stifle giggles. Tony held his hand the whole performance. Azra remembered again that he needed to rewrite that letter. He wondered if the student theatre sold any popcorn.

That night, Azra and Tony were more than excited to make out on the bed. Tony fit his hips between the blonde’s thighs as they snogged, trying to behave himself. Azra wasn’t cleared for much yet. The blonde seemed a little distracted, even with the ginger’s tongue down his throat, so Tony decided to remedy that. He pressed his hand under Azra’s shirt, trying to sneak it up his soft skin. That had been a bad idea.

Azra grabbed his hand and pulled it off of him, visibly flustered. “I need a shower, Dear.”

“I don’t care. Unless you were rolling around in pig shit.”

Azra smiled. “Got sweaty during my walk.” He hadn’t even taken a walk today, but his boyfriend didn’t know that.

“All the better, then.” He nibbled at his throat. “I like that smell.”

“Oh, gross,” the blonde giggled. “I have a better idea?”

“Like what?”

He sat up, ushering the ginger onto his back, pale fingers lingering at the button of the jeans Tony wore. “Something I’ve been cleared for…” It was something he wanted to do, and it was also something that would keep his mouth occupied, his oral fixation at bay. He unzipped Tony’s jeans, making his point clear. “What do you say?”

“I’m not gonna say no, that’s for damn sure.”

He pulled his jeans down, but Tony took them off the rest of the way. They’d only get in the way if he kept them on. With this new freedom, the blonde laid down, shoulders tucked under Tony’s thighs, taking his chance to massage them. He used his mouth and nose to nuzzle him, kissing at his hardening erection softly. He wasn’t sure why he liked doing this so much, but the way Tony filled his mouth was exhilarating. The way Tony’s hands grabbed desperately at his hair was just as wonderful. The way he tasted when he drank him down was even good, sweeter than last time. Maybe it was the pineapple.

Tony was trying to catch his breath, even as Azra laid over him, kissing him. “You next,” he panted.

“It’s fine.”

“Don’t even pretend you’re not hard against me right now.”

Azra bit his earlobe. “No wandering hands, Darling.”

Tony could do that. He busied both of them with stroking the blonde, bringing him to a climax above him. He could look at that expression, hear that sound, all night.

*~*~*

Tony was excited all day. He had plans for the evening, and he hoped Azra would like them. He hadn’t really been acting entirely like himself lately. He would close his therapy journal quickly anytime he noticed Tony seeing him write in it. He was taking long showers. He wasn’t reading. Not outside of homework, anyway. But Azra wouldn’t talk to him. He would always turn the conversation to food. At least he was finally eating again.

‘Marie Antoinette’ was fresh in theatres today, and he knew Azra would probably enjoy it, before they had a cozy dinner at the local steakhouse. The movie hadn’t been what either of them expected, but, of course, Azra was full of facts about the real-life queen of France. How she never actually said the cake thing. How she’d apologized to the executioner after accidentally stepping on his foot before she lost her head. Tony liked his rambling. He was glad he’d liked the choice.

Azra was liking his salmon even more than he had the film. Tony told him to get whatever, and even suggested the expensive dish. Azra had cleaned his plate, eaten his fill of the soft, buttery yeast rolls, and ordered dessert. He was humming happily while he ate the raspberry cheesecake. Tony couldn’t help but smile. He loved him so much. He loved seeing him happy.

“What are you smiling about, My Dear?” the blonde asked taking a sip from the sweet iced tea he’d ordered.

“Nothing much. I just like watching you eat.”

“What? Why?” Azra was eating like the pig he was and he knew it. What could he possibly be enjoying about that?

The ginger shrugged. “You just look so happy when you eat. I love the look of joy you get on your face…” He reached out and held Azra’s free hand on the top of the table, squeezing it affectionately. “I never want to see that joy fade.”

‘I love you. I love you. I love you,’ Tony thought. He wanted to tell him. But he didn’t think it was the right time.

Azra knew he had to finish that letter. He had so much to tell him. He had so much to ask him. Even now, he was terrified of losing him. Especially now. Azra held his hand back just as firmly. For once, he was at a loss for words.

Chapter Text

XVIII

Azra had another appointment on Wednesday, this time with Dr. Bishop, his medical doctor. It had been almost four months since his attack, and he was hoping for some good news. Just as he’d feared, Azra had gained weight. He’d hoped his new strictness was helping. He’d been walking and doing yoga whenever he had the chance. He barely ate now, ashamed of his previous binging, and when he did it was either light, or enough to keep Tony from asking any questions. He was tired of worrying him all the time, and he also didn’t want to upset him.

Even though it had been a silly argument, Azra thought about the night they’d argued over something as little as soup. He didn’t want that to happen again.

The doctor wasn’t concerned abut the weight. In fact, she’d praised him for ‘staying healthy’ for so many months. She was proud of him for the progress he’d made in his light exercises. She was glad he’d kept his muscles so strong, and had gotten them strong again so quickly. In fact, if he wanted, he could go back to his old regimen. Granted, the doctor didn’t know how hard Azra rode himself before the attack.

Dr. Young had kept her informed on Azra’s worries over his weight. Dr. Bishop had hoped all the praise would have worked. She could tell he still looked concerned, so she offered to set him up with a dietitian. He assured her he could do it himself. She wouldn’t force it. She wished him luck on his mid-terms and sent him off.

Azra knew a dietitian was actually a good idea, but the last thing he needed was another medical professional hovering over him. He’d just find a new cook book. That should do enough, he concluded.

He’d missed his final class to make it to his appointment, so chose this as the opportunity to go for his first run in ages. Tony was on the couch by the time he’d made it home, out of breath and covered in sweat.

“Well, look at you, Angel. Doctor cleared you for exercise, then?”

“Yeah. Might go to the salon tomorrow for a haircut too. I think it might be grown out enough.” The blonde pulled his beanie off, freeing his sweaty, messy hair. He didn’t see Tony’s eyes rove over him. “What do you think?”

“Yeah, it probably is by this point.”

Azra kissed his boyfriend on the cheek. “I doubt I can pull off long hair like you can.”

“Not if you keep it all uneven,” he teased, kissing him in return.

“What would you like for dinner?”

“You got a new cook book. I saw it on the counter. Maybe something from there if we have the stuff?”

At first, Tony assumed Azra was stressed out because of midterms. He still hardly ever saw him eat. Their dinners were extremely healthy. Azra was running too much. He could tell his wound bothered him when he went too hard. But then he would pour himself over his books or over the computer at the library. Tony couldn’t be around him all the time. For all he knew, Azra ate between classes. Right? He hoped so.

There was only one day left of midterms, then they’d have Friday off before classes started again. Tonight Azra had an even smaller portion for dinner. Tony had seen him weigh himself this morning, though Azra hadn’t known that. Azra weighed himself every day. Azra didn’t know Tony knew that either. The blonde looked exhausted. It had only been a week since that appointment. Tony knew, the moment Azra looked down at his empty plate, guilt in his eyes, that he needed to speak up. He had to stop whatever this was before it went too far.

“Let me get the dishes tonight, Angel,” the ginger said, taking the empty dish away from his partner. “You look tired.”

“I’ve been studying too hard. One more day, though, right?”

“Hm.” Tony stepped around the counter to the sink, which looked out right at the place where Azra sat on his stool. “It’s not the two hour run you took?”

“I doubt it. That’s an average run for me.”

“It was an average run for you.”

“I’m fine, Dear. I want to get used to it again.”

“Maybe baby steps?”

“I think-”

“Or maybe a little more food?”

“I eat plenty.”

“Not when you’re with me.”

“I’ll prove it.” He went to his satchel and pulled out his food journal. “I have to write it all down.” He snapped the book down on the counter. Tony held up his soapy hands. “Well, it’s in there.”

“Tell me what you ate today.”

“Tony.”

“I’m positive I’m not on that list. Yet.”

Azra rolled his eyes. “You think you know everything, just because we live together…!”

“I didn’t say that. What have you eaten today?”

“I had tea this morning.” Tony had seen that, so waited for more of the list. “And um… At school I ate a… a danish, then had another cuppa.”

“A danish?” Tony knew he wasn’t eating desserts. “What was for lunch?”

“Grapes, and… and…” He fumbled, trying to remember what he wrote down. “A turkey and cheese sandwich with crisps.”

“And more tea?”

“I had water.”

“Anything else? A snack before your workout? Or between classes?”

“A snack?” Azra didn’t know what he’d written down for that.

“Yeah.”

“I had a protein bar from the shops.”

“Then this for dinner?”

“Yes.”

“Why are you lying to me?”

“Lying!?” Azra slammed his hands on the counter, but Tony stayed calm. Azra hadn’t even wanted to have this conversation, and now he was getting mad. “I have no reason to lie! You’re not my doctor!” Azra instantly realised what he’d shouted and slapped his hand over his mouth.

Tony set the last dish aside and dried his hands. Azra watched as his red eyebrows furrowed behind his glasses, watched his teeth clench ever so slightly. “You’re lying to your doctors?!” Azra shook his head frantically. “If you’re lying to them, you’re lying to me!”

“You don’t understand! I have to lie!”

“It’s their job to make sure you’re healthy, and you’re making it impossible for them!” Tony snatched up the journal and flipped through it. “We didn’t have pizza yesterday…! We didn’t have pulled pork last weekend either…” He closed the book and waved it towards the blonde. “You’re sabotaging yourself!”

“I just want to lose weight!”

“You look fine!”

“I don’t! You wouldn’t know because you never look at me!”

“Because you won’t let me!”

“It’s because-!” He looked away, scoffing. “Never mind! You wouldn’t understand! You look good all the time!”

“Fuck! Angel, so do you!”

“I don’t! I don’t…!” How would Tony ever want him back for real, if he couldn’t lose this weight? And they were fighting over food. Again. “I’m sorry, but I don’t.”

T ony sighed, but still, Azra wouldn’t look at him. “I’m worried about you. You look like you’re going to pass out. If you destroy your metabolism, what do you expect will happen in the future? I understand that you want to slim. But I beg you, Angel, do it the right way.”

“I want to go to bed.” Azra was shaking and gripping his wrist tightly in his opposite hand.

“Let me get you a glass of water.”

“The water isn’t something I lied about.”

“I know, but we’re out of chamomile.”

Azra finally looked back at his boyfriend. The red-head looked disappointed, but not mad. “Thank you, Dear.”

I love you , Tony thought. “Eh, don’t thank me over a glass of water.” He rounded the counter. “Be in in a bit.” He kissed Azra on the forehead. “Think about what I asked?”

“I will.”

*~*~*

Azra heard Tony cursing at his ascot from the bathroom. He tightened his own necktie and headed into the other room. Tony’s hair was a little messy from his frustration. The blonde had to chuckle at him while he tied the fabric for him easily. His hand lingered on the ginger’s chest, liking the look and feel of the waistcoat.

“Wanna help with my hair too?” Tony asked.

“Were you having trouble, Dear?”

“You make all this polished shit look so easy.”

“Well,” Azra pulled Tony’s hair back, slicking it all up into a tiny ponytail. “You make it look good.”

“I look stupid.”

“You don’t look stupid. Besides, it’s Halloween, Dear. Where’d you put my hair wax?”

“Oh, here.” Tony handed the little jar over and waited for his boyfriend to finish his hair. “Do you need help with anything?”

“Is my cane in the living room?”

“Yeah with our jackets.”

“I have your pipe and hat on the kitchen counter.”

“Well, I guess that means we’re about ready to leave, then.”

“I’m still a little surprised you accepted a party invitation from Lucifer.”

“Eh, now that he’s dating Laurel, he pisses me off less.”

“Yes, now that Laurel is with him, she doesn’t make me too mad anymore either.”

“You know…” Tony stroked Azra’s cheek. “You look really good in these Victorian clothes.”

“You do too… Mr. Holmes.”

Tony kissed him quickly. “Come now, Doctor Watson, we don’t want to be late.”

Azra couldn’t help but giggle. “ Let’s head out.”

The party was fun, and their couple’s costume, which had been Azra’s idea, really amused everyone. Not everyone knew who Azra was right at first, but after figuring out Tony was Sherlock, they put two and two together. All of the couples had the same idea. Hans and Uriel were dressed as Waldo and Carmen San Diego, Lucifer and Laurel were dressed as Beetlejuice and Lydia in their wedding outfits, and there were other couples that Azra had never met also dressed up. Lucifer had invited a lot of people. No wonder he’d rented out a hotel ballroom.

I t was a few hours and a few drinks before Tony and Azra realised they didn’t have a secret to keep anymore. The whoop their friends let out when they kissed in the middle of the room made the blonde blush. Lucifer’s jaw dropped, assuming they were still hiding things, but Laurel smirked. She and Baal had seen it before. The whole night was fun and for once Azra didn’t feel like he had to hide who he was.

T hey got back a little too late, but they’d had to wait to sober up before Tony could drive. The ginger went straight to the shower to wash all the product out of his hair. It didn’t take him as long as Azra expected, because he was surprised when Tony hugged him from behind, chest against his naked back. The blonde froze, shirt sleeves on his upper arms, ready to pull it over his head. His instincts to hide took over and he darted away, covering himself. He kept his hands on the tail of the heather blue fabric, turning around. Tony was wearing nothing but a towel.

“T-Tony…! You startled me…” Oh god, had he seen?

“Sorry, Angel. You just looked so huggable. I guess I’m still pretty wet, though, huh?”

“Y-Yes. Are you sure you washed your hair thoroughly enough? That was a short shower.”

“My hair was the only thing I had to wash. Give me a smell.”

Azra couldn’t help but smile. He kept his shirt in his hands, but stepped back over to his boyfriend. “I think I can take your word for it. Shouldn’t you put on some trousers?”

“Mm, yeah probably should. I’d rather stand here with you a little longer.” Azra didn’t shy away this time when Tony’s arms wrapped around him. “If you don’t mind getting a little damp.”

“I suppose I could change after.”

“After?” Tony held Azra a little closer. He stroked those soft blonde curls and looked down into his impossible blue eyes.

“I’d like an extra cuddle or two.”

Azra gazed back at him now, suddenly soaring with happiness, arms finally encircling his boyfriend’s waist . There was just something extra special about the way Tony’s arms felt holding him. He knew there was no way he deserved someone so handsome, so wonderful. His dear, dear Tony. Sure ly God knew what she was doing leading them together, he thought. But he always had that doubt, that fear in the back of his mind. Tony was too good for him. Too Wonderful. Azra felt ugly, fat, and undeserving of this affection . He was weak.

The ginger held Azra’s cheek softly and he sighed, smiling. “Angel, you’re just…” Azra felt his face flush. “Azra…” Even Tony didn’t know what he was trying to say. He was hypnotized.

“My Dear,” the blonde replied, fingers sliding up and down his boyfriend’s freckled spine. He hadn’t noticed himself drop his head back.

“Angel, I…”

Their lips met, sweet and soft and deep. Tony really had no idea what he’d been trying to say. That blonde demon, that perfect angel, had taken any words, any thoughts, right out of his mouth, out of his head. The kiss had wiped his mind entirely. Jesus, he was in too deep now. He would drown in Azra. He would never resurface.

Tony stepped forward, backing Azra over the bed. He pressed him into it, almost crushing him into the mattress while he kissed him. Azra convinced himself that Tony hadn’t really seen his bare back just now. He didn’t even have on his glasses. Azra accidentally moaned into his boyfriend’s mouth, just their kissing being too much for him right then. Tony responded to the noise by taking the blonde’s thighs in his hands and wrapping them around him. The blonde’s clinging tightened.

It had felt like ages since he’d let Tony touch him like this, let him grab his soft thighs, cup his round bottom. Tony didn’t try to talk him out of his shirt. Azra was hesitant to even allow Tony to have his hands on this much of him. He waited for the ginger to notice. He waited for him to let go of him. He wasn’t surprised when Tony pulled their lips apart. Not surprised, but upset, nonetheless.

“You’ve got the sexiest fucking thighs, Angel.” Azra opened his eyes, truly surprised by what he’s just heard. Tony massaged them a little and sunk further between them. This new closeness let Azra feel that Tony meant what he’d just said. “Missed you lettin’ me touch them.” He could see the trepidation in Arza’s eyes. “Oh. Do you want me to stop?”

The blonde shook his head. “No, it’s okay.” He was just confused. Tony’s words and actions didn’t coincide with how Azra saw himself. He never wanted Tony to stop touching him. That was the problem. He still hadn’t figured out what he wanted to say to Tony. He loved him, and he knew Tony wouldn’t want him anymore once he really got to see him. So, he took the ginger’s towel and threw it to the floor. “You don’t need to stop.”

Tony had kissed him again so quickly, rutting up against his underwear, his heat. Then his hand was there. He only held one thigh now while he pulled Azra free and held their erections together. They hadn’t done this in a couple of weeks, and they both came too quickly. Their climaxes wouldn’t force their lips apart, though. No. They kissed until Tony’s hair was dry, messy waves frizzing and sticking up everywhere. The ginger loved the giggle that erupted from his lover.

“Bed time then, Angel?”

The food argument mixed with the steamy night only a few days later really gave Azra a lot to think about. He had a lot to tell Dr. Young. He’d been a little early for his appointment, so the waiting room felt like eternity, the news kept bringing up Guatemala and Venezuela, but Azra wasn’t paying attention to that. He wasn’t even looking at the open book in his lap.

He was quiet for a solid minute after the session began, taking the last chance he had to formulate the best words. Then, with a big sigh, he broke the silence. “I’ve been lying in my food journal.”

She set her clipboard flat in her lap. “What did you lie about?”

“Everything. I left out exercises. I made up meals. Sure, a few cups of tea, a dinner or two are correct, but…” He placed the journal on the table between them. “This is pretty much just kindling at this point.”

“Thank you for coming clean. What brought this about?”

“Tony’s… He’s worried about me. We got in a fight when he found out I was lying. I didn’t want to get in trouble with you or Dr. Bishop, but I just… I needed to lose weight. But I’m not. I’m the only one who seems concerned about what I’ve put on.”

“Tony’s worried?” Azra nodded. “You’re not in trouble. I’m just… disappointed. Have you told Tony how you feel yet?”

“No!” Azra cleared his throat. “I mean, no, not yet.”

“It’s okay. There’s no rush. Have you talked to him about how you feel about yourself?”

“Not really. I mean, I mentioned it when we had that domestic, but, no.”

“Are you scared to talk to him?”

“Of course I am.”

“Can you tell me why?”

“Once he sees all of me, not just my body, but what’s in my head too, he’s not going to want me anymore. I can’t lose him.” She wrote something down and his heart skipped. “You think I’m being codependent or something, right?”

“I think you need to find yourself before you try and change for a boy.”

“He’s not just any boy! A-And if I don’t change… Why doesn’t he ever try to have sex with me? That’s weird, right?”

“When was the last time you were intimate?”

“We do stuff… just the other night… I mean.” He was dark red. “But we’ve never had sex.”

“And you want to.”

“Yes. But I don’t know what to do, and he never… It scares me when he touches me.”

“Can you explain what you mean by that?” She was suddenly on alert. What sort of new door were they about to open?

“It’s noting nefarious. You don’t have to look so worried. It’s just about my body again. When he touches it… I’m just waiting for him to feel it and toss me out.”

“What’s given you the indication that he would do that?”

“Nothing. It’s all up here.” He tapped his temple. “Actually, just the other night, he said he liked my thighs.”

Dr. Young exhaled in relief. “That’s promising.”

“Maybe. I’d still rater lose a stone – er – fourteen or fifteen pounds. I just… Everyone’s right. I need to lose weight the right way. I-I need help.”

It wasn’t even two days before he had an appointment with his new dietitian. He was afraid to tell Tony about him, but he would follow his new diet religiously. He was even allowed to h ave a sweet or two now. He wouldn’t lie about what he ate or when any longer.

He was told to tone down the running, but that his other exercises were fine to keep up with. The dietitian even recommended he try swimming instead or running sometimes. Their school did have an indoor pool, so it would be easy enough. Maybe after he was maintaining, Azra had told him. He didn’t miss Azra hug himself when he’ d said it.

Azra decided he wouldn’t lie about how much or little exercising he would get anymore either. He was determined to try his best. He would tell Tony eventually, but he wanted to reach his desired weight first. So what if muscle weighed more than fat? Azra wondered how fast he would lose it. There were only a couple of weeks left before fall break.

Chapter Text

XIX

Tony looked at the lovely two-story colonial from the doorway. This place was nice. Azra pulled him forward. He needed to show him their bedroom and drop off their suitcases. The moment they’d made it there from the airport, Azra’s mother had sprinted in the kitchen to make tea and biscuits. Azra had spent years telling her that in America they were called cookies, but she was stubborn. Besides, it only got confusing once a southern lady at their church had taught her how to make biscuits and gravy.

They may not have celebrated Thanksgiving in the same way as their American neighbors, but Mrs. Fell was delighted with any excuse to cook a big meal. Mr. Fell liked having an excuse to complain about American Football. This was the first time Azra had ever invited someone over for the week-long holiday from school, so everyone was excited about that. The main thing Azra was nervous about, other than Tony seeing his bedroom at his parents’ house, was not having an en-suite bathroom with which to change his clothes in. Unlike he’d hoped, after an initial five pound drop, his weight plateaued.

Tony was nervous too. Sure, he was familiar with Azra’s parents now. His dad didn’t scare him anymore, but he wasn’t sure if he’d be meeting anyone else in Azra’s family. They’d be sleeping in the same bed in Azra’s parents’ house. He’d have to keep his hands to himself for six whole days with Azra so close to him.

Mrs. Fell didn’t only cook a lot that Thursday, but kept them full their entire stay. Tony saw the delight in his eyes when Azra ate his mother’s cooking, or helped her in the kitchen, or made a pie while she made a different pie. He also saw the regret there once he was finished. Thursday morning, before Azra’s limited extended family was to show up, they were in the living room eating breakfast and watching the parade. Well, Azra was watching the parade. The blonde glanced over to his boyfriend.

“What is it, My Dear?” he asked the moment his mouth was empty.

“Nothing. I told you before, I like watching you eat.”

“What?” He’d chuckled as he said it. How absurd. “Why?”

“Hmm. I told you that before too.”

“I look happy?”

“Yeah. The look of joy you get when you eat something you like? I love it.” I love you, he thought, taking that little bit on. It wasn’t something he should say out loud right now.

“You do, huh?” Azra put his fork down on the plate. He didn’t know why Tony would tease him like that.

“Hey,” Tony took his hand. “Yeah.”

“Hm.” Azra squeezed his hand back. He wanted to hang onto him like a lifeline. “You’re sweet.”

The red-head wondered why Azra had stopped eating. It was like a switch had been flipped. Had he said something wrong? “So, uh…” Tony cleared his throat and entwined their fingers. “Are you helping your mum in the kitchen today?”

“No,” the blonde sighed. “Once my cousins get here, my aunt will help her. I get to entertain.” He sounded less than excited.

“You don’t like your cousins?”

“They’re fine. I’m just nervous.”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t know what their response will be to you.”

“Oh, well, I’ve been nervous about that all week. It’ll be fine, though. Right?”

“I don’t know. They’ve always been pretty closed-minded. B-But don’t worry!” Azra added his other hand. “I won’t let them treat you badly, Dear.”

“You know I can handle myself, Angel.”

Their lips had barely touched when the doorbell rang. Tony couldn’t hold back his groan, even as Mr. Fell, emerged from his study. A row of blonde teenagers and young adults poured through the front door, followed by a very exhausted-looking middle-aged couple. They each had a diaper bag over an arm and behind them another blonde followed behind. Her husband was blonde too, and in the stroller he pushed was a sleeping newborn and a grumpy-looking toddler. His little arms were crossed in annoyance.

“Oh, they had another baby…!” Azra whispered, finally standing.

He was over there in a moment. His cousin let him pick up the child only after she got a hug. She and the baby were the only members of the large family that didn’t have their curious eyes on the red-head seated on the floor at the coffee table. They watched him ignore them, gazing instead at the young man holding their niece.

“Tony!” Azra said happily. “She’s so cute! Want to see?”

Now, Tony was never much for babies, but nothing would keep him away from this one, not while it laid cradled in his gorgeous boyfriend’s arms. Tony had no intention of touching the child, but when he leaned over Azra’s shoulder to get a look, it’s mother shoved Tony away by his face.

“Who are you?” she spat.

Tony wasn’t expecting an American accent. “Oh, sorry.” He held out a hand politely. “I’m Anthony Crowley. You can call me Tony.”

She looked him up and down, ignoring his hand. “And?”

“Elizabeth,” Azra sighed. He was still cooing over the tiny baby. “He’s my guest, from school.”

“Oh. Still don’t have a girlfriend, then?”

“I didn’t go to college to find a girlfriend.”

“Liz went for her M.R.S. degree,” one of the teenage boys said, smirking. It wasn’t often Azra saw him look away from his Nintendo DS.

“That’s how we’re different, Liz,” Azra said, using a baby voice now that the baby was smiling up at him. “I’m there for my actual degree.”

She scoffed. “I’m not the one who took off a semester out of nowhere.”

“Elizabeth, that’s enough,” the woman, Azra’s aunt, said. Finally someone else with a British accent. “You don’t have to argue with your cousin every time you see him. He’s the only one you have.” Her siblings started to laugh. “You five are no better! Now, come along, girls. I’m sure your Aunt Angela needs a lot of help in the kitchen.”

The three boys sat on the couch, one of them had his eye on the half-full breakfast plate. Azra handed the baby to his cousin’s husband and headed to the small group, Tony in tow. “Elijah, if you want the rest of my plate you can have it,” Azra said.

He took it up, but not without speaking. “Still on that diet, then?”

“As a matter of fact-”

“’Cause you should be. You’re starting to pork up again.”

Azra deflated. “Yes, well… That’s why I’m slimming.”

“’That’s why I’m slimming,’” one of the other boys said, making fun of the way Azra spoke.

“Don’t let Mom hear you, Eddie,” the final teen said. “You know she’ll flip for teasing Z for his gay voice.” All three snickered, then were back into their handheld games.

“Angel, you’re gonna let these fuckin’ kids talk to you like that?” Tony whispered.

“This is just the way they talk,” Azra whispered back. “Eddie’s only thirteen. He-”

“He could be nine for all I care. He’s a kid you’re an adult.”

“Thank you, Dear, but this is just the way my family is. I’m used to it.” He took his hand, then spoke at a normal volume again. “Maybe Mum needs more help?”

“She already has a ton of help.”

Azra glanced to his younger cousins. “Then to the study? We could pretend to care about sports?”

“I could distract them with stories of how I rebuilt my car.”

Azra was smiling again. “Oh! I think they’d like that! Let’s go.”

The company of Azra’s uncle, father, and cousin’s husband was a vast improvement to the company of the teenagers. The toddler was trapped in a playpen, occupying himself with a fleet of toy cars, and the baby was in her father’s arms. Azra was right, they’d been talking about soccer. Mr. Fell had to concede and call it that when his in-laws were over. It was easier than arguing with a couple of Americans, he’d said once.

Tony was a natural with the guys, immediately turning the subject to cars. He’d been accurate in his assessment that they would like the story of his Camaro. Azra hadn’t heard the whole story before either, so listened attentively the moment he’d returned with a tray of coffee and mini tarts. Time passed easily and nicely while he listened to them talk, not having to do much else. He even got to hold the infant again. She slept soundly in his arms.

“So, Z, how many are you thinking?” his cousin’s husband asked.

“Why would anyone need more than one car, Pete?”

The man laughed. “I meant kids. You’re a real natural.”

“It hadn’t crossed my mind.” He hoped they didn’t notice him glance at Tony. “So, I’m not sure.”

Tony jumped in. “He doesn’t even have a girlfriend. Tap the brakes, mate.”

“Forever the bachelor?” Azra’s uncle said.

“Probably,” Azra answered.

“Well, wait as long as you can,” Peter said. “I haven’t had my own life in over three years.”

“Twenty four,” the uncle said.

“It’s called birth control, Matt,” Mr. Fell said.

“And go against God’s plan, Barney?”

“Liz wants as many as she can pop out,” Peter said.

“Well, one was all me and Angie wanted,” Mr. Fell said. “I think we got a good one.” Azra smiled, trying not to blush.

“For a while there, it probably felt like you were feeding more than one, am I right?” Matt said, laughter in his voice.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Tony snapped before Azra’s father had the chance to even comprehend what his brother-in-law had said.

“Met Azra after he lost weight, huh?” He forced out a guffaw. “You shoulda seen this kid. Real porker, right Azra?”

“That’s right,” Azra agreed.

“Angel, don’t let-” He cleared his throat suddenly. “I mean, uh, dude, you don’t have to agree.”

Azra was pale, eyes filled with horror the moment Tony let the pet name slip. He was standing, already handing the baby over to her father. “I need the loo.”

Tony was about to chase after him, but Mr. Fell spoke to him before he could. “Let him alone for now, Tony.”

“But-”

“He’s sensitive about the weirdest things,” Matt said. He tipped back his mug, finishing the coffee. “You raised a pansy, Barney. That’s what happens when you baby them.”

“Matt, do me a favor,” Mr. Fell said.

“Yeah?”

“Shut the fuck up.”

Tony was trying not to get mad, but Azra’s family, dad and babies excluded, were pissing him right off. He opted to retreat. “I’m gonna see if the girls need help with anything heavy.” He passed the teens on his way to the kitchen. They were in a pile now, wrestling each other in what sounded like a game. The kitchen was hot and bustling. Azra’s mother and Aunt were sitting with him at the table, peeling potatoes while they spoke to him. “This doesn’t look like the loo,” the ginger said, announcing himself.

“Oh, if it isn’t Azra’s hot friend from college,” one of the girls said, the only teenager in the room.

“Huh, oh yeah. Thanks.”

“What’s that accent?” one that looked closer to he and Azra’s age asked.

“I’m Scottish?”

The duo of young blondes giggled. Elizabeth gave him a once-over, the only one not fawning over him. She could see it, though. “So, what did my dad say to upset him this time?” she asked.

“I already told you,” Azra said.

The youngest girl scoffed. “So what? You’re thin now.”

“I just dress myself well.”

“Azra,” his aunt said. “You worked hard to lose all that. How much was it again?”

“Seventy-eight pounds…”

Tony stood behind his boyfriend and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Seriously, don’t let any of those guys get to you.”

“Your little slip in there isn’t going to help, you know.”

Tony groaned. “It was an accident.”

“I know…”

“Azra-”

“Can I talk to you alone?”

“What? Uh, sure?” Tony knew he was in big trouble. How could he not be? Azra pulled him upstairs and into his room. He closed the door tight. Tony sat on the foot of the bed. “Okay. I’m as ready as I can be. Give it to me.”

Azra leaned against the door. “I wanted to tell them at dinner. About me. About… us.”

“What? Really?”

Azra nodded. “But ever since my cousins got here, I’ve been doubting that decision. I was going to tell you sooner that I decided to do it, but today hasn’t really gone like I thought.”

“Shit, Angel. I thought you were about to scold me.”

“There’s no point in it. It was an accident.” Azra sighed. “So, if I get the nerve to say it… Is it okay?”

“Of course it’s okay.”

Azra cracked a smile and rolled his eyes. “I can’t believe Emily and Ericka flirted with you right in front of their mom like that.”

“So, all of your cousin’s have names that start with an ‘E’?”

“Aunt Sarah likes to theme everything.”

“Angel?” Tony said, standing.

“Yes?”

“Tonight might be rough if you decide to go through with it.”

“I know.”

The red-head placed his hand on the door above Azra’s head. “Want a kiss for courage?”

“Lay it on me.”

Dinner was completely ready by four. None of the teenagers were happy about being forced to the kids table with their nephew. Liz had already taken the baby up for a nap. Azra tried to play off the almost constant fat jokes, nerd jokes, and the random gay jokes from the boys at the kid’s table. Tony had to keep his rage at bay. This wasn’t his fight. Not yet anyway. The women took away the dinner plates and platters, returning with dessert. Azra hummed happily at the pumpkin pie his aunt made. It was her mother-in-law’s recipe, handed down for four generations. It was always his favorite part of this holiday. He was glad his cousins celebrated.

Azra ate one more piece, for courage, then stood, getting everyone’s attention with a rap of his silver spoon to his ceramic plate. “I-I have something to say,” he began. The boys all started squealing like pigs, shutting up the moment their mother glared at them. Azra closed his eyes, just trying to breathe past his racing heart. “I’m aware it will just be more fodder for most of you, but… But… U-Uh…” He was visibly trembling.

Tony didn’t hesitate. He took his hand tightly. Azra looked at him and he nodded, smiling. Then the ginger mouthed the words “You can do it.”

“Right.” He looked right at Uncle Matt, who sat right across from him. “I’m gay.” He turned to Liz. “I missed a semester of school because someone I thought was my friend put me in the hospital because of it.” Now he was looking at the teenage boys. “You call me a pansy, a sissy, all that. You think you’re so tough. Well, come back to me after you’ve been stabbed.” His uncle opened his mouth to speak. “No. I’m not done.” He snapped his maw closed. “So, yes, I’m gay. I’m gay and Tony is my boyfriend. We live together. And yes, I used to be really fat. I get it. I remember.” He glanced at Tony now. “I’m trying my best, so just… lay the fuck off already.” He sat, hand still tight in Tony’s.

Not once in his entire life had his cousins been so quiet. His dad plopped another piece of pumpkin pie onto his plate. “Well said, son. I’m proud of you.”

“Tony’s not single?” Emily whined at her father’s side. “Man.”

“Huh?” was the only thing Azra could even think to say to that.

“I’m glad you finally told us,” Aunt Sarah said.

“It’s about time you stood up for yourself,” Uncle Matt said, saluting him with his beer bottle.

“So, we can’t make fun of him anymore?” Elijah asked, handing his nephew a deviled egg.

“You shouldn’t have been making fun of him in the first place!” Aunt Sarah scolded. The boys had been ignoring them all through dinner, so Tony didn’t see why she had to bother repeating herself.

“You look like a deer in the headlights,” Peter said. “You okay?”

“You’re all… okay with this?” Azra asked.

“Yeah?” Liz said. “You’re gay, so what?”

“I guess… I just expected the Bibles to come out or something…”

“You know it as well as any of the rest of us,” Aunt Sarah said. “We love you. You’re a wonderful person, a pure soul. God was the one who made you this way.”

“It’s not up to us to question that,” Liz said.

Azra’s shock faded suddenly and he started to cry, relief flooding through. “I really expected to hear the worst.” Tony wrapped an arm around him, and he couldn’t help but lean into the embrace. “I’m so sorry I thought that way of you…! Thank you.”

“Who’s ready to break out the Christmas movies?” Ericka said, collecting her brothers’ plates.

*~*~*

Azra tried to hold in his giggle when Tony kissed the side of his neck. He’d been at it for almost a solid minute now. They needed to get up early to catch their flight back to school, so Azra was trying to read. Tony’s Botany II textbook laid ignored in his lap. Azra didn’t want to, but he pushed Tony away. His cheeks were bright red.

“Tony, Dear, my parents are right down the hall.”

“Since when does kissing make noise?” Tony felt Azra’s eyes linger, watched them trail down briefly before he bushed even darker and held his book in front of his face. “Or are you afraid I’ll want more?”

“I-It’s…” Azra closed his book. “Its not that…” It hadn’t occurred to Azra that his boyfriend would want more.

Tony chuckled. “You can take more. If you want.”

Azra finally looked at him again. “We’ll be home tomorrow afternoon…” So, why was his breath catching in his chest when he looked at him? Why couldn’t he stop his hand from reaching up to play with Tony’s soft, tousled, red hair?

“Yeah. And?” Now Tony had his hand on Azra in return, holding his chin.

Even though Tony had never shown any signs that he wasn’t attracted, Azra still had that little voice in the back of his mind telling him different. It was hard for him to accept that he would ever be desirable. Not until he lost more weight, anyway. “I-I thought you were nervous about being in my parents’ house.”

“I am.” He rubbed Azra’s bottom lip with his thumb, causing the blonde’s cheeks to grow even darker than they already were. His ears had turned red now. Azra couldn’t tear his eyes away. “But that makes touching you even more exciting.”

Azra realised that he actually agreed. The only kisses they’d had all week had been small, and sweet. Azra’s skin was hot, though. He wanted more than that. “If Mum and Dad find out…” His eyes closed on their own. Tony leaned closer. “I’ll be mortified.”

Tony readjusted his hand, sliding it back to hold the back of his boyfriend’s head. “Then we need to make sure they don’t find out.” He’d whispered it mere milliseconds before their lips touched.

It wasn’t only their lips for long. Tony all but tossed their books to the floor so he could press Azra against the pillows. He’d wanted nothing more than to hold him all week, and now that Azra was allowing it, he was taking it. Tony could feel the blonde shivering. He forced their kisses to stop.

“Tony…!” Azra gasped.

“Are you okay?”

“Keep going.”

“But, Angel, you’re-”

“It’s okay, Dear. As long as we’re quiet, right?”

Tony was sure he was understanding incorrectly. “Tell me if you want to stop.” Azra’s tremors intensified. “Angel…” He slid his hand down the blonde’s body and waited until he made it to his soft ass before he tightened it.

Azra pulled their lips back together. He wanted this, but he was scared. He was scared Tony would touch him in just the wrong way, really feel him and then push him away. He didn’t even care that his parents’ bedroom was just at the end of the hall anymore. He wanted him, even though he felt like Tony wouldn’t feel the same. But Tony didn’t stop the kneading of his hand on that soft bottom

They were hard against each other, gasping down each other’s throats. The ginger hesitated, only a moment, before he slid Azra’s pajama bottoms down and off. They were discarded with the books. He gave his boyfriend a chance to stop him, then the blonde’s trunks were next. He was still shaking so intensely, but he wasn’t stopping him. Tony couldn’t get over how hot Azra’s skin was, already beading with sweat.

Tony sat up and pulled his shirt off. Azra’s hands were immediately carressing his abdomen. Tony hooked a few fingers under the tail of the blonde’s shirt, only for Azra’s hands to move there instead, stopping him.

“What’s wrong?”

“L-Leave it?”

“Too far?”

Azra shook his head. “Not yet. J-Just not my shirt?”

“You mind if I try something?”

“That entirely depends.”

“On what?”

“Turn the lights off first.”

Tony simply smiled and nodded. He got up to flip the switch by the door and couldn’t help but notice Azra try to pull the flannel shirt lower over himself, as though Tony had never seen his dick before. “You’re so fucking cute,” he said, finally pressing the light switch down and throwing the room into darkness.

The only illumination aside from the alarm clock were the beams of the streetlights outside. By now, Tony knew the lay of the room, and traversed easily across to the bed, dropping his own sleep trousers and boxers in the pile of discarded items. The darkness kept him from seeing the blush spread down Azra’s neck, but it didn’t stop him from seeing those impossible blue eyes take in every inch of him before he settled back on the bed.

“W-What did you want to try?” the blonde gasped as he asked it.

Tony pushed his fingers trough those lovely blonde curls. “You’re still shaking so much.”

“S-Sorry.”

“Don’t worry. I’m not planning on going all the way in your parents’ house.”

“O-Oh…” Azra doubted Tony would ever want to take that step with him, but it was still reassuring, and proved to calm his nerves, even if just a bit. But his heart skipped when Tony chuckled.

“Seriously. So fucking cute…” Azra couldn’t respond, because Tony was kissing him again. Hell, how could he expect to talk when he couldn’t breathe? Azra let him when Tony pushed his knees up, keeping them together. “Hold your legs closed like this.”

“Closed…?”

“Remember, just tell me to stop, and I will.” The blonde nodded and did as he was instructed. He kind of liked laying like this. He felt covered even if the view made the thickness thighs more apparent. But Tony was touching them, looking at them with a hunger Azra didn’t quite recognise. “That’s a good boy.”

Azra covered his face, too embarrassed by this new form of bedroom talk to do anything else. Still, Tony’s chuckle made his heart skip and race all at once. He didn’t pull those lovely hands away until he felt his boyfriend set both of his knees over one of his shoulders, almost lifting his backside into the air. But hadn’t he just said they wouldn’t go all the way? Was Azra willing to let him? He looked down his body, hoping for an idea, a clue. Anything. But all he could really see were his own thighs and erection, and only a sliver of Tony’s freckled hip.

Yes. He would let him.

“This might be weird,” the red head said. “Never done this before.”

Azra knew he was Tony’s first man. Was that what he meant? Would it hurt? Then Azra realised that he had no actual idea what to expect from anal sex. Nothing at all. Suddenly, he was terrified. “W-Wait…!”

“Yeah, Angel?”

“Y-You s-said…!”

“I won’t, Azra. But I’ll stop.”

He shook his head, curls sticking to his eyelashes as his hair whipped over his face. “I-I want to know w-what you’re going to do before I-I tell you to do that…”

“I want to use your thighs.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Can I show you?”

“Okay,” Azra breathed. Something about the ginger’s voice always managed to calm him down. “Okay.”

Azra felt the heat between his legs, so close to his most intimate areas before he understood. Tony thrust slowly at first, figuring out the angle and the position of his own legs before they sped. He wasn’t only between the blonde’s thighs, no. He was also rubbing against him. Azra felt his breath catch again, differently now, and he watched through the darkness. He didn’t fully know how flexible he was until the red head leaned forward to kiss him, keeping his knees over his shoulder. Then Tony’s hand was on him, encircling and rubbing Azra’s shaft in time with his hips.

The blonde was glad for the kissing, because he felt a moan rise in his throat, one he couldn’t hold back. He didn’t have that small saving grace for long, however, because Tony trailed down, licking and sucking at his pale throat, quietly moaning “Angel” anytime his lips would part from him.

They had to force themselves to get up and get their underwear and pajamas back on when they were done. Azra didn’t know how he would explain it to his mother, or if he could explain it to his mother, when she came to make sure they were awake in the morning if they hadn’t gotten redressed. He didn’t even consider needing to hide the hickeys, which was a task all on it’s own.

Chapter Text

XX

Did Tony have other things to do before his greenhouse duties? Yes. Were they more important than talking to Azra before he went on his jog? No. Besides, it was chilly outside this evening, and it was getting dark earlier. He knew Azra could take care of himself, but he couldn’t help but make sure he had a warm jacket. He couldn’t help but insist he bring a torch just in case. Azra humored him, at least.

They’d only been back home a week, but the ginger noticed his boyfriend seemed more distracted since then. He didn’t realise Azra could even get more distracted, but there it was. He wondered if there was something wrong. Azra was so bad about telling him when something was bothering him or whenever something was on his mind. He wished he knew how to fix that. He could only hope it was about school. After all, there were only two and a half weeks left of class before winter holiday. They both had finals to worry about, and after that, they would be spending a week with Tony’s parents for Christmas. It was no real wonder that the blonde was distracted.

Azra thought while he ran. He should have been thinking about the book report he needed to write, or maybe even what store to go to to buy the laptop his father had given him money for as an early Christmas gift. He should have been thinking of what to make for dinner. He should have been thinking of dozens of other things, but ever since the morning they left his parents’ house, he’d been having trouble keeping his mind off of one thing.

Sex.

It was normal for a twenty-one-year-old man to think about such a thing. It was normal for someone in a committed relationship to be thinking about. But for Azra, thinking about it this much was out of character. Even before that last night at his parents’ house, Azra’s mind would drift to the topic. But now? It was pretty much the only thing he could think of.

He knew now that he was ready to sleep with Tony. And even though he knew he was ready, it was still terrifying. He wanted the sex, but he didn’t want Tony to see him naked. He didn’t know what to do or think. His confusion was almost stifling. Did Tony want the same thing? Did the ginger even know how to have sex with another man? He was sure Tony knew the basics. Even Azra, in his naivety knew a couple things, but did Tony know more? Would Azra regret it? Would Tony regret it? How badly would it hurt? He heard sex hurt the first time. Azra wondered if Tony would want him to take charge. Based on all of their fooling around, Azra doubted it. Maybe he needed to ask his therapist. Wednesday wasn’t too far away.

Now that Friday was here, Azra felt like the week had gone by too fast. His therapist said nerves were perfectly normal. She had faith that everything would go well. There was no doubt in her mind that Tony would meet her expectations of him. Azra had never said anything negative about him. She’d reminded him to buy some condoms, and wished him luck. It was a purchase that shouldn’t have embarrassed him, but it did.

They were meeting up at Baal’s for movies tonight instead of Saturday, because Baal’s mom had some sort of kitchen wares party that night. Azra was glad for the distraction. Baal had picked up a handful of horror movies, a couple she already owned, ones they’d seen and ones that were new to them.

Azra wasn’t thrilled with The Hills Have Eyes. It was a little too much for him. Tony, however, appreciated it. Not for what it was, mind you, not that it was bad, but because it made Azra cuddle against him. There was nothing quite like the feel of his sweet face pressed into his shoulder, or his soft curls against his chin. The cuddling continued with When A Stranger Calls, but it was less-gory. Azra could actually watch most of it.

“You gotta stop being so cute, Angel,” Tony whispered as Baal traded the DVDs out.

“I’m just sitting here,” the blonde said in defense.

“Well, it’s cute.”

“How so?”

The ginger shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t make the rules.”

They didn’t have a chance to kiss for long. The last movie was starting. They’d seen Saw II already, but Baal was excited about it’s sequel coming out soon, so it was time for a re-watch. She owned this one. Azra didn’t understand her love for torture movies, but at least everyone was having fun. Azra could actually watch it this time around, since he knew what was happening.

He was tying to watch it, at least. Tony had other ideas. His lips trailed up and down the back of the blonde’s neck. He would pause to nibble and suck. Azra didn’t need a mirror to know he was blushing. He tilted his head, giving his boyfriend easier access to his throat. He placed a hand over his mouth in case the others could hear his breathing change. While the alarms were going off in his head that they weren’t alone, it wasn’t as though these people – their friends – didn’t know they were an item. He was still getting used to the idea of public displays of affection. He also didn’t want Tony to stop touching him. It really felt like the red-head wanted him. Azra may not have understood why Tony’s hands lingered on his body or his thighs, but those hands never faltered. They never pulled away in disgust. Yes, Azra thought, he’d chosen the perfect night.

The movie was barely halfway through, and they were making out. They were completely in their own little world on that couch. Tony had pulled his adorable boyfriend into his lap. He needed their bodies to touch as much as possible. Azra’s skin, what he could feel of it, was sweltering. He knew his cheeks were probably red to his ears. All Tony cared about was the soft hip in one hand, and the feathery curls in the other. All he cared about were those perfect arms around his shoulders. Only two things would make this better: Azra out of his jumper, and if they were alone.

There was so much he wanted to do to – with – this man. They were almost all things he knew Azra wasn’t ready for. The thigh sex at Mr. and Mrs. Fell’s house had been a surprise. He’d really doubted Azra would let him continue, especially after his initial trepidation, but he had. He’d let him, and they’d both enjoyed it. He knew it would be too much to ask for that again, at least not anytime soon. He could hope. He could dream. He could hold him tighter and kiss him deeper, the presence of their friends be damned. They just had to cool it before Jigsaw let that teenager out of the safe.

Tony tried not to speed home. There were a lot of cops out tonight, and the last thing he needed was a ticket. But once they closed the front door behind them, Tony thought that maybe he should have sped. Azra’s arms were around his neck, and his lips were instant and hungry. He was pretty damned chuffed that Azra was still so eager. He walked him backwards, never even pausing their snogging. Azra basically pulled him down on top of him onto the futon. His legs were already circling Tony’s thighs. He was already gasping. Tony wasn’t going to question it. He would just let Azra take the lead. Tonight, like always, the blonde would call every single shot.

Tony helped when the blonde moved to pull his jumper off. He had a shirt on underneath, but now his pale arms were bare, and they were peeling Tony’s hoodie off. The thinner layers of fabric were better. They could feel each other’s body temperature completely. Tony was unbuckling his belt. This was the movement that finally made Azra pause.

“Too much?” the ginger asked.

“I was just thinking… Maybe not on the couch?” Azra kept hold of him though, only moving one hand down to pull the belt from the loops of Tony’s jeans. “I don’t think our friends would appreciate me blowing you where they sit.”

“I don’t think they would either.”

The older man let his boyfriend lead him into their bedroom. He let him unfasten his jeans and push him down on the bed. He licked his lips when Azra dropped to his knees and ran his delicate hands up his thighs. He could hardly think, knowing how good Azra was with his mouth. Hell, there wasn’t enough blood going to his brain for it to function properly at all.

Azra’s hands flinched a bit when Tony pushed his fingers into his hair and fisted it tight. His deep blue eyes rolled up to look into his boyfriend’s. Tony cursed, moaning. He grabbed at the comforter, trying desperately to keep himself grounded, to keep himself from throwing Azra on the bed, stripping him, and fucking him. He couldn’t move too fast, but he wanted this man who was moaning around his cock to instead scream in pleasure beneath him. He already had condoms and lube. He’d already borrowed Liam’s computer for research. He was ready. He just needed for Azra to be too.

Tony was thrown from his wanton thoughts when Azra pulled away and stood. He’d never stopped before Tony came before. Was something wrong? But Azra was unfastening his own trousers now. Tony followed them down with his eyes, taking in every inch of exposed flesh the blonde revealed to him.

In an instant Tony was on his feet. Azra was in his arms. He lifted him easily, which honestly surprised the blonde, before tossing him onto the bed. Just as quickly the red-head was on top of him, back between Azra’s thighs where he belonged, already rutting against him. At first Azra could do little else aside squirm and moan.

“I’m not ready to cum yet,” Tony groaned.

“I’m not ready for you too, either…”

“Can I take your pants off?”

“Yes. Please do…!”

‘Please do?’ Tony thought. It was the first time Azra had asked him out loud to undress him, so he would. He couldn’t live off of little pecks for too much longer.

Tony not only tossed those little blue trunks on the floor, but his shirt as well. He liked being naked when he was with his angel. He loved that all of him could feel all that Azra would allow. He loved the look his boyfriend gave him when he was, a desire that no one but him had ever seen. Shit, even without all that Tony just loved him. He loved Azra so much that it made him feel like he was actually going crazy. If that was the case, they’d need to lock him in a padded room for the rest of his days.

Seeing Tony, all of Tony, almost made any nervousness the blonde had vanish. That anxiety simply flickered now, like a speck of glitter you can’t quite find. He wondered when he should mention he had condoms. He had no idea what to expect or when. His thighs flinched, but he refused to utter a single protest when Tony dipped his head low. He watched in amazement when his boyfriend held him in his hand, circled around him. He tried not to close his eyes when Tony licked the tip of his penis, or when he took it into his mouth.

Azra didn’t know if Tony was any good or not. All he knew was that it was warm and wet and felt like nothing he’d experienced before. He reached down for him, but he hesitated. Tony understood instantly. He was going off of instinct and desire while he sucked him, so he figured Azra was probably responding in the same way. He took the blonde’s hand and set it in his hair. Azra’s thin fingers gripped and pulled. Tony moaned. He loved it when Azra pulled his hair. He loved the sounds of Azra’s quiet moans and the heat of his soft thighs over his shoulders.

Tony didn’t let Azra cum either. He left him dripping and bigger than when he started. Then Azra got to experience a kiss where he could taste himself. They gasped against each other, eyes deep and searching. Tony’s hands barely left Azra’s hips, and the blonde was sure Tony’s finger prints would be branded into his flesh. That’s how hot they felt. He hoped Tony wasn’t turned off by sweat. Azra knew that he liked it. He loved the way those russet waves stuck to his lover’s neck and forehead. He wished he had the nerve to admit his feelings, but right now sex was taking all of his bravery and will power. Maybe another day.

“Do you mind rolling over?” Tony asked.

“Huh? Oh, no, I don’t mind.” He wouldn’t ask why. He wouldn’t interrupt their flow. He turned onto his stomach and heard Tony chuckle. “What?”

“You have the best ass.” Tony was already fondling it.

“I bought-” He gasped, interrupting himself.

Tony had pulled him up onto his knees unexpectedly. The ginger straddled his legs, easing the blonde’s knees together. “I was thinking about the other week… I can’t stop thinking about it. What do you think?”

“Me too… Let’s do it.” Azra couldn’t hold back his blush, the new position embarrassing.

Tony smiled. He couldn’t help himself. One day, hopefully sooner than later, this would be more than thighs. He was honestly surprised that the younger man was allowing him this again. He reached over to turn on the lamp, but Azra grabbed his wrist before he could.

“What’s wrong?”

“Keep it dark. This is embarrassing enough.”

Tony chuckled again and relented. “You really are too adorable.”

“Please, My Dear…” The embarrassment in his voice was obvious.

“Okay, okay. Touching only.”

He decided it would be a good idea to distract the blonde. He went back to the kissing he’d started during the movie, adding new hickeys to the back of Azra’s neck, and also more to the line above the collar of his shirt. Azra stopped him when his hands moved to pull the tail of that shirt up. So, he still wouldn’t let him see him without a shirt? That was okay. He still had that ass, those thighs, free for the touching and the little view the darkness allowed him.

Azra didn’t know why he didn’t realise that Tony would be pressing, thrusting between his thighs again. He wanted him to do more. Had that not been clear? Still, Tony’s hand on his hip was hot, and the other around his dick, stroking, made him moan. No, this wasn’t the type of sex he’d set out for tonight, but the friction of it, the feel of it was good. The sound of Tony’s groans into his shoulder was intoxicating, as were the teeth that bit into his shirt. If just this felt so nice, then he could only imagine what the real thing would be like.

Tony was glad that the spit he’d slathered on in the last second was enough. It would have been smart to get his lube from the side table. He also assumed that if Azra had seen the gel, then he’d change his mind, thinking Tony was planning on something more than this. He distinctly remembered the panic in the blonde’s voice two weeks ago, when he’d misunderstood. Azra wasn’t ready for more. He’d finally let him blow him, so Tony would take the win. Maybe real sex would be a good plan for their anniversary. That was only, what, six weeks away? Not a long eternity to wait at all. He’d wait longer if need be.

He hadn’t intended to finish first. Azra’s voice plus his soft skin and thighs were a little more than Tony could handle. His hand moved all the more slickly over his boyfriend’s dick now, though, so that was a plus. Azra almost shouted with the slightly different sensation. Tony felt Azra’s legs twitch, trying to open against the blonde’s will, but Azra kept it under control. He pressed his mouth into the pillow beneath him, chest heaving. Tony didn’t have to wait much longer before he stilled his hand.

Azra flopped onto his side, huffing and puffing from where he’d unintentionally held his breath. Even so, he melted into Tony’s kiss. He didn’t even care that the ginger had the soiled hand in his hair. He needed a shower anyway.

Now that he could think clearly again, Azra couldn’t help but get lost in his head. Tony had had the opportunity right there, so why hadn’t he taken it? Maybe there was something Azra was supposed to do that he hadn’t. What could it be? Did he not seem receptive enough? Or maybe Tony didn’t want to. Maybe he wasn’t into that? But he didn’t think that made sense. He didn’t want to assume he, Azra, was the cause. He was trying so desperately not to think negatively of himself. That would be stupid. If Tony didn’t want him, then he wouldn’t have gone down on him. Right? Or maybe that’s what made him notice how gross and fat Azra was. Maybe that’s why he made him roll over.

Azra kissed Tony harder and the ginger reciprocated. Azra relaxed. No. All those thoughts were silly. Tony’s hot, deep, kisses were proof enough. And if he thought he was fat, he at least didn’t think he was gross. At least not yet.

*~*~*

Tony found Azra pretty cute as he surfed the web on his new laptop. He was still learning how to use the device, and had already typed out a few reports. Tony tried his best to help him, but this computer was much nicer than Liam’s desktop. He wasn’t much help, but Azra passed it over, allowing Tony to write one of his reports on it while he studied. It was Sunday night and they both had early classes in the morning, but Tony needed to finish his homework so he could email it to himself and print it out in the library.

Even though they were both working hard, sitting on the floor at the coffee table, it was nice to be together. This would be their last evening to study alone until finals were over. Azra had planned out study groups almost every night. He was still on-edge about his grades after missing the summer semester. Tony knew he’d already applied for too many classes next semester to catch up now that his doctors had cleared him for everything.

Azra had a solid hour alone between Tony’s greenhouse hours and that night’s study group with Danny and Baal. He decided, now that he’d figured out his new computer, to try and figure out what he needed to do, what he should do, to progress things with Tony in the direction he wanted. He closed the device from embarrassment more than once, but he also knew he had limited time. When the hour was almost up, he sent Tony a text message, letting him know he was heading to the grocery store. He wanted to get something for study group, but that wasn’t all he needed to buy.

The remainder of the next couple of weeks was much the same: study groups, classes, and either greenhouse or exercise time. Then it was time for finals. Lucifer, of course, threw an end-of term party the Friday they were over, one last get-together before most of them went home to visit their parents and family for winter holidays.

Azra picked his coziest jumper and tossed on a coat while Tony buckled his over his chest. It wasn’t a fancy affair, but the couple liked the excuse to dress a little better than usual. Azra never dressed badly, but Tony didn’t want to look like a bum next to him, even if their friends wouldn’t care. They hadn’t been the only ones thinking it, at least.

The music was an eclectic mix of pop, rock, rap, and holiday. All I Want For Christmas Is You playing alongside Down With the Sickness managed to make most of the group laugh. Most of them got more and more dunk as the evening progressed. Some faster than others. Tony noticed, however, that Azra was taking it easy on the booze, only having a glass or two of wine. If he hadn’t been driving, then he would have had more. Seeing his boyfriend go light, however, was a slight comfort in the sea of inebriated co-eds.

The couple didn’t need to get on their plane until Saturday afternoon, so they could have stayed out later. It was nearly three in the morning already. It was late enough to go home without anyone complaining, not that anyone was sober enough to care all that much.

Tony was excited to get in bed, and kiss and cuddle until they fell asleep. Azra had something else in mind. He took his shower second when they made it back, wanting to be as clean as possible. He hoped tonight would go like he wanted, unlike last time. Both of them still had wet hair when Azra slid into the bed.

Tony embraced him, nose in those blonde curls. He inhaled, then kissed him where his mouth sat. “You smell good.”

“That would be my shampoo.”

“I know. That’s why I steal it all the time.”

The blonde giggled. “I noticed.”

“I’ll tell you right now, I’m not looking forward to that airport later.”

“We could always make our night last a little longer… It will make the trip feel farther away.”

“How would we pass the time?” He was already cupping Azra’s face, tilting it up to face him.

“I have no idea…”

Tony held him even more snugly than before. Something in the way Azra kissed him and embraced him tonight was different. It wasn’t just the late hour or the smell of his shampoo. It wasn’t the way his damp curls felt in his fingers.

“Calm down, Angel,” the red-head breathed. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“I-I know, but… I…”

“Shh…”

Azra pressed his hand to Tony’s chest. “Wait.”

“Is everything okay?”

The blonde nodded. “Just… Hang on.” He turned away from his boyfriend, leaving those arms outstretched and confused. He watched as Azra opened his side table drawer and emerge with two things he never would have expected. “I think we’ll need these.”

“A-Are you…? What…? But I…” the ginger stammered.

“Dear?” Azra’s entire face was red. “Is that a yes or a no? I-I’m not sure…”

“The fuck you mean is it a yes or a no?” He took the condom and bottle of lube almost frantically. “But…” He had to stop and collect himself. He had to think. He had to do this right. “Are you sure?”

“I was sure last time, and it didn’t happen.”

“Last time?” Azra nodded. “What do you mean-?” He blinked, astonished. There was no way. “Really?” Another nod. “Fuck, Angel. If I’d realised that, then I would’ve gone into my own side table.”

“Huh?” Azra didn’t know what that meant.

“I… Bought stuff too… A while ago.”

“You did?” If that were the case, then that meant Tony really did want him! “Then why didn’t you ever…? I mean…” He tried to brush some hair from his face, but it was too short to stay where he put it.

“I told you before that I’d never do anything you didn’t want to do. I just figured… I wanted to be ready whenever you were.”

Tony almost melted with the beautiful smile he was given. “I’m ready.”

The blonde’s chest was heaving, legs shaking. It had only been lube and fingers for a while now, and while it was weird, at some point it started to become a little overwhelming. He wasn’t expecting it to feel good. Not yet. Not this part. He even forgot to be embarrassed to have his boyfriend’s fingers in his ass. Tony was trying not to compare this fingering to the girls he’d been with in the past, but he had nothing else to compare it to. He could tell he was succeeding, simply by the way Azra would hold his breath to bite his lips before letting out desperate chestfuls of air, moans leaking out with them.

He let his angel breathe. He took this time to roll on the condom and spread the gel over himself. Azra hadn’t let him take his shirt off again, but at least he allowed the lamp to stay on. The way even Azra’s thighs were blushing was a never-before-seen treasure. He knew he blushed to his ears, but didn’t know it would be apparent in those wonderful, soft, legs. And Azra’s legs were ideal. They were muscular, but plump with a slight layer of fat, sort of like a woman’s. His narrow, but soft, hips were an adorable compliment to them. He already knew the delicacy of his prick.

“Let’s put this under your hips,” Tony said, holding up a pillow. Azra just nodded and lifted his ass to give room for the cushion. He closed his eyes, a fresh blush making his cheeks even darker, when Tony spread his legs wider. “It’s okay, Angel. You’re gorgeous.”

“S-Sorry…”

“Do you want to stop?” He shook his head violently in response, but squeezed his eyes even more tightly closed. “We can, you know.”

“I’m nervous…”

“Yeah, me too.”

Those big blue eyes opened and fell onto the hazel ones gazing down at him. “I don’t want to stop… Can you kiss me?”

“I can kiss you forever, Angel.”

“Yeah… So can I.”

Azra still felt so shy, even as Tony held him and kissed him like he was the most precious thing in the universe. Tony could feel him shaking. He had no idea how Azra felt, not really, but he wanted to ease any doubts his boyfriend may have had. He didn’t want to admit how scared he was. He didn’t want to mess this up. He didn’t want to hurt him. He prayed to anything and everything holy that he’d done enough research.

The blonde’s hold tightened just as suddenly as Tony had breached him. He’d go slow. They could take all the time they needed for this. They could sleep on the plane. They could claim jet lag and sleep when they got to his parents’ house.

Azra was, for once, at a loss for words. He didn’t know how to describe this feeling, until all at once, Tony was flush between his legs and the only word he could think of was ‘full’. Tony didn’t move for a few seconds, just stayed inside of him, kissing him. Azra didn’t want to look away when Tony looked into his eyes, hypnotizing him.

“Are you okay?” he asked softly.

“Yes.”

“Does it hurt at all?”

“No.” They were both surprised by that.

“Just speak up if I need to stop, or change, or anything. Okay?”

“Okay.”

Tony had never heard Azra’s voice so breathy or so soft. This handsome, gorgeous, beautiful man was his, and he loved him more and more every second. Regardless of the physical intimacy. It was a while before he heard another moan other than his own.

Azra was confused, comfortable, but uncomfortable. With each thrust came an odd spike, almost electric, almost urgent. He wasn’t sure what changed, what caused his legs to spread further or his head to press back into his pillow. The moan that fell from him was unfamiliar. It was a squeaking sort of sound that he’d never made before. That itch, that tingle came again and again, each time pressing a moan from his chest. His eyes watered. No wonder so many people let sex control their lives.

Tony barely flinched when Azra’s fingernails, in need of a trim, threatened to break the skin on his back. The blonde seemed desperate to keep him close. Tony wanted to kiss him again, but he also wanted to keep hearing the lovely sound of pleasure from his boyfriend. The tears that blinked free from the blonde’s eyes didn’t even worry him, not with the way those glistening blue pools pulled him in deeper and deeper.

Azra’s lips had grown more plump, were soft and moist, perfect for kissing. His body was soft beneath Tony, perfect for lovemaking. Azra’s moans grew, even as their mouths refused to part. The ginger never wanted to stop, but he also knew he couldn’t hold himself back for much longer. He hadn’t meant to tighten his hand on the blonde’s ass. He was losing any and all control he previously had over himself. Azra’s hips moved on their own, giving back to the pleasure he was feeling. They both felt their climaxes approaching. They both considered saying something. They both took too long to speak.

Azra’s entire body tightened around Tony. Tony had to stop kissing him and press his forehead into the blonde’s shoulder, blind for a split second as they came together. That was something his research had said probably wouldn’t happen. He had to see Azra’s face again, kiss away the happy tears from his soft cheeks. Azra let him.

He let Tony kiss his cheeks, his lips, his hair, his throat, anything he wanted. He used the time to try and calm down, to just feel happy. He tried to catch his breath, another moan escaping when his boyfriend left him empty. His happiness, his contentedness left in the same moment, leaving the rest of him feeling empty as well. That feeling scared him more than he’d been before they had sex. Now that he could finally think again, the negative voices in his head were loud.

They’d finally slept together. What if it never happened again? What if Tony realised he’d made a huge mistake? What if next time, if there even was a next time, Tony would want him to take his shirt off? Would he even still want him after he saw how he looked now? His body had changed since Tony had helped him change his bandages. Despite his diet, his exercising, he wasn’t getting any slimmer. Surely Tony noticed that. What was he going to do if Tony didn’t want to be with him anymore?

“Angel, what’s wrong?” Tony asked.

Azra’s tears had changed, become sad and mournful. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing. You can talk to me, Angel. I’m here. Are you okay? What can I do?” Tony was afraid Azra was regretting what just happened, and he hated that thought.

“Please, don’t leave me…!”

“What?” Where had that come from.

“I understand if you want to, but please…!” He started sobbing, confusing the red-head even more.

“I don’t want to leave, you. Where did you get that idea?”

“You don’t?”

“No. Why would I want to?” It was the last thing he ever would have thought of, if ever at all.

“Look at me!”

“Yeah?”

“Why would you want someone who is so ugly and fat that they can’t even take off their shirt for sex!?”

“Because I’m not dating someone like that.”

“You are!”

Tony really didn’t know what was happening right now. He loved him so much, so why would Azra think he’d think he was anything but lovely and handsome and perfect? “I’m not, though.” Azra just kept crying. Tony gripped Azra’s shirt lightly. “Let me prove it to you.”

Azra felt like it was a bad idea, but what other choice did he have, really? He nodded. His back went stiff, but he let Tony pull his shirt off of him. They were both completely naked now. Azra refused to open his eyes. He waited to hear the worst. His hands curled and held the sheet tight when Tony’s hand pressed to his abdomen. He held his breath when that hand slid up and was joined by a second.

Tony felt like he was looking at some forbidden manuscript, or some work of art hidden in the depths of the Vatican’s vaults. Aside from the scar, Azra’s pale skin was pristine. His shoulders blushed in the same ways his thighs had. His torso and chest were as soft as the rest of him. He hadn’t gone flaccid yet, and the blood was rushing back. He tried to concentrate. Azra looked so uncomfortable, so sad, distraught. He stopped sobbing, but that was only because he held his breath. When and how had this terrible misunderstanding happened? Had he said something or done something to make him think he didn’t want him? They just had sex. Wasn’t that clear enough that he wanted him?

“I don’t know why you hid this,” Tony decided to say. “You’re gorgeous.”

“You don’t have to lie, Dear.”

“Angel. Look at me.” The eyes were reluctant, but there they were again, right on his. “I don’t think you’re ugly. You’re the most attractive person I’ve ever seen. You’re everything I could ever ask for. Your face, your hair… and your body. You say you gained weight, but your ass… All of you is so much sexier now than when we met. It was sexy before, but now…? Why do you think I can’t keep my hands off of you?”

“I wouldn’t know.”

“I think you’re gorgeous, Angel. I just...”

A feeling, like a punch between his shoulder blades, hit him. He’d never said the most important thing, had he? He’d planned it. He’d almost said it so many times, but the words had never left his lips. He always heard that actions spoke louder than words, but Azra’s entire life was rooted in words. How could he have been such an idiot?

Azra felt the change in the air and he curled his arms over his chest, the only way he had to hide right now. “I’ll sleep on the couch tonight. I-”

“No.”

“Tony?”

“You don’t want me to leave you, right?” A terrified nod. “I don’t want you to leave me either.” The ginger’s hand was soft on Azra’s cheek, thumb brushing away another couple of tears. “I should’ve said this a long time ago, right when I knew. I’m sorry I didn’t ever tell you.”

“Tell me what?”

Tony smiled, further confusing the blonde. “That I love you.”

Azra stared at him, eyes wide. He knew he was hearing things.

“Azra,” Tony said, breaking the silence. “I love you.”

Fresh tears covered the blonde’s cheeks. “Y-You do…?”

“I love you. I don’t even remember how I lived my life before you were in it.” He kissed a few tears away. “I love you.”

“I never thought I’d hear those words from anyone…! Especially not you…!”

“I can stop.”

“Don’t! I-I just… I’m not lucky enough…!” Tony waited. He could tell that Azra was struggling to figure out what he wanted to say and how to go about saying it. “I never thought you’d ever love me back!”

“Angel… You love me?”

“I love you! I do! Why do you think I’m so desperate to impress you?! Why do you-?”

Tony kissed him hard. “You don’t need to try so hard, Angel. I. Love. You. I wanted to tell you months ago. I bought you flowers and everything.”

“Why didn’t you tell me when you were planning?”

“Well, I had to call an ambulance for you instead.”

‘That long?’ Azra thought. “But that was months ago…”

“Yeah. It was, wasn’t it? I should have told you before now. I’m sorry.”

Azra shook his head and threw his arms around Tony’s neck. “Don’t be. You’ve said it now. Besides, I could have said it before too.” He glanced down. “Not to ruin the moment, Dear, but… Do you want help with that?”

“Do you mind?”

“If you take the condom off, does it still count as ass-to-mouth?”

Tony laughed. “Where did you hear that?”

“Does it matter?”

“No. I guess not.”

Chapter Text

XXI

Waking up wasn’t the easiest thing to do after such an eventful night. They didn’t have much choice, though. Airports were a nightmare even without it being two days before Christmas. They hoped arriving three hours early would be enough. Azra was both nervous and excited to meet Tony’s parents. He knew tomorrow he’d meet extended family at the Christmas party. He hoped they were going to like him.

Tony’s parents’ house was smaller than Azra expected. It was an average ranch-style mid-century modern home, but for some reason the blonde thought it would be closer in size to his own parents’ house. Tony knocked once before opening the door. Azra had their suitcase and Tony had the bag with the gifts. They’d perhaps packed more than necessary, but Azra was adamant on extra clothes ‘just in case’.

Tony’s mother pulled him off of his feet with her hug. Her shoulder-length strawberry blonde hair was pulled up out of her face, so it was easy to see her lively, happy, brown eyes. Tony’s dad leaned half-off the couch to see into the foyer to wave. That was who Tony got his looks from. They both smiled warmly at their son.

“That your flatmate?” his father asked.

“Yeah,” Tony responded. “Mum, Da, this is Azra.” The blonde waved from his place at the door. “Azra, this is me Mum, Effie, and me Da, Ken.”

“It’s nice to finally meet you,” the blonde said. “Tony’s told me so many good things about you.”

“A southerner, eh?” Ken joked.

“Hopefully you heard all the bad things, too,” Effie giggled. “I’ll put the gifts under the tree. Go on and get yourselves settled.” She looked at their solitary suitcase. “Azra, where are your things?”

“Eh, we just used the one, Mum. Less to carry.”

“The dresser in the guest room’s empty. I’ll put on some tea.” And she was off without a second glance.

“Show me the way?” Azra asked, and Tony nodded.

They decided to settle the blonde first. “Mum’ll probably have pudding too. There’s still a couple hours ‘til supper.”

“Is there a kind she usually serves?”

“She’s been keen on spotted dick the past few years, so either that or scones.”

“I haven’t had spotted dick in ages.”

“Do I need to tell her about your slimming diet that you don’t need to be on?”

“I do so, and no. It’s only a week, Dear. I can just exercise a little extra when we got home.”

“You still wanna go to Lucy’s party on new year’s eve?”

“Yes. I understand if you’d rather celebrate your birthday another way.”

The ginger smirked. “There’s only one thing I really wanna do on my birthday.”

Azra was red to his ears. “Gracious, what have I done?”

Tony laughed right when his mother poked her head in. “Tea’s on, whenever you’re ready.”

They thanked her and she was off. “So, I take it this will just be family time until the party tomorrow?”

“Yeah. Dad likes to play board games, and Mum’ll wanna decorate the tree after supper,” Tony said.

“That sounds lovely.”

“Still nervous?”

“Yes,” Azra nodded. “I really hope they like me.”

“Why wouldn’t they? How could they not? I mean, I love you, so I know they will too.”

“I wish I could kiss you,” the blonde whispered.

“Maybe later,” Tony whispered back. “Better take this suitcase to my room and head on to the den.”

Azra couldn’t sleep. He knew Tony’s mother would let them sleep in, since there was little to do but relax until it was time to go over to Tony’s grandfather’s house for the party. He still looked at the clock over and over. Maybe he could read? He was so nervous to meet Tony’s family that he was actually a little nauseous. He turned over and closed his eyes. The house was cosy and it smelled like baked good and the tree. He felt tired too, so why couldn’t he just fall asleep? When he heard footfalls, he was sure to lay even more still. If it was one of Tony’s parents, then he didn’t want them to know he couldn’t sleep.

“Angel?” He barely heard, followed by his door closing. “You awake?”

“Tony?” he whispered back.

“Hey.” The ginger slid into the bed beside him and cuddled up close behind him. “I couldn’t sleep.”

Azra held Tony’s arm tight against his chest. “Me neither.”

“This is better.”

“It is…” Azra felt sleepier suddenly. He was a lot more relaxed. “But you can’t stay.”

“I’ll just wake up and go back to my room before Mum and Da get up.”

“You shouldn’t risk us getting caught.”

“I want to tell them anyway.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I want everyone to know.”

“Maybe this isn’t the best way for them to find out?”

Tony let out a loud sigh. “You’re right.”

“But a few minutes of this should be fine. Just don’t fall asleep.”

“Okay.”

They cuddled in silence until Azra was asleep. Tony’s eyelids were almost too heavy to think, but he knew he needed to head back to his own bed. Azra didn’t budge when he got up, nor when he closed the door back. He’d barely gone three steps down the hall when he saw a figure and froze. His dad was standing with a glass of water in his hand, just outside of the room he shared with his wife. They stared at each other a second, then Ken smiled. He nodded, then held a finger to his lips. Tony repeated the gesture. This was something he’d shared with his father ever since he was a lad. This secret was between them. His father wouldn’t even tell God.

*~*~*

Azra could tell why Tony’s grandfather’s house was the venue for the Christmas party. Azra was also glad he grabbed his Sunday best. Everyone was dressed nice, despite a couple of Tony’s cousins having obviously pre-gamed. The tree in the grand foyer had to be at least ten feet tall, and it looked resplendent shining between the two large curved staircases.

Tony hung their coats and scarves, surreptitiously got some snowflakes out of Azra’s hair, and then followed his parents into the formal living room. Azra stayed close. The kitchen was visible from this room, and the island was spread with a great deal of hors d’oeuvres.

Azra was half-introduced to one of Tony’s aunts as she shoved a glass of red wine in his hand. She didn’t leave her nephew empty-handed either. “So, how long are you visiting?” she asked, ignoring Azra now that she’d presented him with a beverage.

“We’ll be here about a week,” Tony said. “We’re heading back on the 30^th.”

“So, you’re not spending your birthday with us like last year?”

“Nope. Not this year. A mutual friend of mine and Azra’s is throwing a party, and I already said I’d go.”

“Too bad. Haimish likes spending time with you.”

“He’ll have time. Where is he?”

“He’s regaling your gran with tales of all the matches his lacrosse team has won.”

“Thrilling.”

“Too bad you don’t like sports, Tony. She and Da would be more interested in that than your flowers.”

“Tony’s good with plants,” Azra said. “It’s actually really interesting to hear about everything he’s learned.”

She rolled her eyes. “All that studying just to be a teacher.”

“I want to be a professor, actually,” Tony corrected.

“Do you play sports, Ezra?”

The blonde ignored the mispronunciation of his name. “No, but I go for a run everyday to stay fit.”

She looked him up and down. “I’m sure you do.”

“Aunt Mary,” Tony said a bit forcefully. “I’m going to go introduce Azra to the rest of the family.” He didn’t give her a chance to agree and wrapped his hand around his boyfriend’s wrist. He pulled him through another archway and into the den. There was another, smaller Christmas tree there, along with most of the family. They were enjoying the warmth of the crackling fire. “Sorry about her. She thinks Haimish is perfect. I’ve never had the heart to tell her that a box of rocks has a higher IQ.”

Azra finally smiled again. “I think everyone has a family member like that.”

“Everyone else is cool. Even dumb ol’ Haimish.”

A few cousins crowded around. They were aged from about fifteen to maybe twenty-five. Azra hadn’t realized Tony’s family was so large. There was only one young man missing, a brunette beefcake who was talking animatedly to an older couple. The woman was on the love seat, and the man was in a cozy armchair. Azra assumed these were Tony’s grand parents.

“Good timing!” the ginger said to his cousins. They’d all been jabbering with a mix of American, Scottish, and British. Azra recognized a couple of them from minutes ago, who he’d noticed were already a little drunk. “I can introduce you all at once.” He set his hand on Azra’s shoulder. “This is my flatmate Azra. Azra, these are my cousins.” He rattled off names and pointed. Azra was about to reach his hand out to shake, but it was filled with a plate of food from a different aunt. “But, Azra, don’t worry if you forget a name.”

“Yeah,” one of the younger girls said. “Just ask if it slips your mind.”

“Our family’s gigantic,” an older boy said.

“Well, it’s a pleasure,” Azra said, finally able to speak.

“The lady who gave you that plate is me and Logan’s mom,” another female cousin said. “Good luck catching her to talk.”

“So, what all goes on at these?” Azra tried to figure out how to eat with a wine glass in one hand. “Just food and visiting?”

“Mostly,” Tony said. “Sometimes an uncle gets a wild hair for a game. Mostly we just drink and let the night take us.”

“I don’t think I want to get drunk.”

“Me neither…” But it sure was starting to help his nerves. “But a few glasses is probably okay.”

Azra wanted to reassure him. He knew what Tony was planning tonight, and while the botanist was confident and excited, Azra could feel the nervousness coming off of him. “Probably.”

“I’ll hold your plate so you can eat. Aunt Imogine wouldn’t want you to just stare at all these goodies.”

“Thank you, De- dude.”

Tony held back the snicker building in his throat. Azra’s near-slip made the blonde blush. He tried to cover it up by shoving a large slice of fruitcake into his mouth. None of the cousins noticed and they all continued to visit. The main topic was school. Eventually Haimish joined the group. He almost instantly told the story of his latest match without prompt. He seemed to think that he won it single-handedly. It wasn’t until he was done that he noticed Azra.

“I don’t know you,” the brunette said.

“I’m Tony’s flatmate,” Azra said. “My name’s Azra.”

Haimish let out a short, rude, guffaw. “That’s a dumb name. I’m Haimish. I bet Tony’s told you tons about me.”

“Hm,” Azra responded. “Quite.”

“So, you’re in uni? What’s your major? Hopefully not somethin’ dumb like plants.”

Azra wished his wine glass wasn’t empty. “I’m in school for literature. I want to teach university after I graduate.”

“You’re taking classes for reading? I can teach you how, if you want.”

“No. I know how to read. I’m very proficient at it, actually.”

“You’re who?” Azra opened his mouth to respond, but the brunette continued. “Eh, whatever. Why do you need school for books if you know how to read?”

“I’m afraid I don’t understand your question.”

“So,” Tony said loudly. “What was your major again, Ham?”

“I’m on scholarship for lacrosse, but I’m getting my degree in sports medicine.”

“How’s that goin’ for ya?” a female cousin asked, mocking.

He didn’t catch her tone and puffed out his chest, very proud of himself. “I only failed one class last quarter.”

“Right genius, aren’t you?” one of the British cousins asked. They were all trying not to laugh.

“My coach said my grades were shocking.” He was actually grinning ear-to-ear.

“I’m sure he did,” Azra said.

“Do you play football or anything?”

“I do not.”

“How long have you and Tony been roomies?” the girl from before asked.

“Since July.”

“I bet you’re a fun roommate to have. You’re funny.”

“Oh, I doubt it, but thank you.”

She brushed her hair behind her ear and straightened her sweater dress. “Do you have a girlfriend? I’m shocked Tony didn’t bring his. He didn’t shut up about her at the last family thing.”

Azra noticed Tony cross his arms and look away from the group. “No, I don’t have a girlfriend.”

“That’s surprising,” she said, batting her eyelashes.

“I don’t have a girlfriend either,” Tony spat.

“Yeah?” She barely glanced at him. “Well, you’re my cousin. He’s not.”

A number of wolf-whistles erupted from the young adults. Azra blushed and looked around, hoping to spot a way out. He was out of wine and food, but knew it would be rude to just walk away. He didn’t even know how to respond. He fiddled with the bottom hem of his jumper.

“Yeah?” Tony said, instantly reading that his boyfriend didn’t know what to say. “Well that doesn’t matter either, because he’d not looking.”

“Really?” she asked, truly surprised. “I’ve never met a guy so focused on school.”

“Kiersten,” a male cousin said. “I think Tony’s trying to tell us Azra plays for the other team.”

“I thought you didn’t play sports,” Haimish said. Instead of responding, the group, Azra included, just stared at him. “What?”

“You should’ve just said so,” Kiersten finally said. She patted Azra’s shoulder. “I wouldn’t’ve made such a fool of myself.” Azra was red to his ears. “You’re cute, though, so I’m sure you’ll find a guy before college is over.”

“Um, yes. I suppose,” the blonde mumbled. “I’m going to get some of the mulled wine I saw.”

“Grab me wassail?” Tony asked.

Azra took Tony’s empty glass. “Of course.”

The group watched Azra leave. A cousin that hadn’t really spoken in a while crossed her arms. “He super already has a boyfriend.”

“How can you tell?” one of the other young women asked.

“Just a hunch.” Her eyes landed right on Tony. “Does he?”

“I don’t think I should be telling other people’s business to people who are basically strangers to him.”

“Is it that Lucifer guy I met when I helped you move that one time?” one of the American guys asked.

Tony sighed. “No. Thank god.”

“You two not friends anymore?”

“We are. It’s just… different now. That’s all. It happens.”

“So, he’s the one who stole that girlfriend, then?” a different male cousin asked.

“He tried…” Azra returned with the wine and wassail. Tony downed it quickly. He coughed and sputtered. He forgot it would be hot. “Shit. Is this straight from the slow-cooker?”

“Your aunt insisted,” Azra said, both a little worried and trying not to giggle at the same time.

“Yeah, I burned the roof of my mouth. Real funny.”

“Sorry.” He still smiled. “Would you like something cold?”

“No.” He met his boyfriend’s eyes for the briefest moment. Those perfect, blue ponds helped ease his nerves instantly. “I’ll be okay.”

“Wait a second…!” Haimish said, pointing in their direction. They both tensed. “What did AnnaBeth mean by ‘boyfriend’?”

“Real quick with the uptake there, Ham,” the young woman, AnnaBeth, said.

“Sh-Shut up! I wasn’t paying attention…!”

“Hey T,” yet another cousin said, one of the youngest. “Papa’s trying to get your attention.”

Their grandfather was indeed beckoning Tony over. “Right,” the ginger said in response. “C’mon, Azra. I’ll introduce you to Granda and Gran.”

The blonde nodded and followed his boyfriend over to the elderly couple. Tony’s grandmother smiled kindly, and while his grandfather looked serious, he looked nice too. Tony was grinning. Azra could tell how much he cared about these two from that one, honest, expression. The ginger pushed Azra forward by his shoulders.

“Who’s this?” the old woman asked.

“Gran, Granda, this is my flatmate, Azra.”

“I’m pleased to meet you,” Azra said. He offered his hand just in case.

“You’re a lot more put-together than the last friend Anthony brought along with him,” the grandfather said. He accepted his hand and they shook. “You’re more polite too.”

“Not all of my friends are like Hans,” Tony laughed.

“Thank you, Sir,” Azra said. “What would you like me to call you?”

“You can call us the same as Tony,” Gran said.

“Yes, Ma’am. Gran and Granda it is, then.”

“How did you two meet? You don’t seem like one of Tony’s regular friends.”

“One of my friends and one of his friends were paired up in the dormitories, and we ended up meeting through them,” Tony explained.

“We’re all a big group now,” Azra tacked on.

“Ken told me that you don’t have to pay rent any more?” Granda asked.

“Yeah. Azra’s parents got us the place, so they take care of it,” Tony said.

“I don’t mind paying the previous share, like I did before.”

“I know, but his parents insisted.”

“My dad thought it would be easier for everyone that way,” Azra said.

“I see,” Granda said.

“Have you met everyone yet?” Gran asked.

“I’ve met a lot of people, but I doubt it’s everyone. I don’t think Tony’s introduced me to any of his uncles,” Azra answered.

“There’s time. The party’s not over for a few more hours. We need to make sure you kids get home before Father Christmas comes knocking.”

“Gran, we’re in our twenties,” Tony chuckled. “We don’t believe in Father Christmas any more.”

“Either way, it’s best to get back before Christmas Day.”

“I was hoping to find a midnight service on TV,” Azra said. “I usually attend church with my parents, but I obviously can’t do that this year.”

“If not, you brought your Bible, right?” Tony asked.

“I did.”

“So, you’re religious?” Gran asked.

“A little, but I don’t attend church on a regular basis.”

“It’s good to have faith. As long as you live it, I don’t think church is all that important.”

“I feel that way too. After all, Jesus said, ‘so in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.’ I think as long as I stick to that everything else falls in line.”

“You’re really such a lovely young man. I hope our Anthony won’t be a bad influence.”

“Bad influence? Gran...!” Tony whined.

She let out a brief chortle that made Granda smile. “I’m just teasing you.”

“Head on over to the parlour,” Granda said. “Tiffany is going to start up carolling in a few minutes.”

“You’ll love Aunt Tiff’s voice,” Tony said. “She sings all the time.”

“Carolling sounds fun,” Azra said. “Let’s head over.”

Azra and Tony managed to snag a couple of chairs before the rest of the family packed into the quaint room. A woman with auburn hair pulled up in a twist with holly was already seated at the piano. She was flipping through a book of music. In a matter of minutes everyone had arrived. Gran and Granda stood behind the piano and spoke briefly with their daughter before she started up ‘Jingle Bells’. Almost everyone joined in. Azra felt shy for the first few carols but once ‘White Christmas’ began, he couldn’t help himself. Aunt Imogine made sure everyone had something to snack on, and even refilled drinks for anyone that asked. She seemed thrilled to be serving everyone, so Azra only felt a little guilty asking her for pumpkin cider instead of more wine.

They all trickled back into the den once carolling was over. Azra was comfortable with all the cousins now, and he was pretty sure he’d met the rest of the family. Someone had pulled out Chinese checkers and two of Tony’s uncles were arguing over it. Apparently someone cheated. Azra just stood back and enjoyed big, silly, family. It was already ten-o’-clock. The boys didn’t know where the time had gone.

“I think it’s time,” the ginger said once the grandfather clock in the hall finished chiming.

“Are you sure?” Azra asked. “You don’t have to do this tonight. Maybe just tell your parents first?”

“Da found out last night when I snuck out of your room.”

“He did? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t have the chance.”

“So, your mum…?”

“No. I don’t think she knows yet.”

“I want you to be sure.” Azra put his glass on the mantle beside him. “This is a big step.”

“I know, but I made my decision already. Why? Do you want me to wait?” He would wait if Azra wanted him to.

“I want you to do what you’re comfortable with, what you’re truly ready for. It’s a scary thing, what you want to do.”

“I’m not that scared. You’ve gotten to know everyone a little, right?”

“Yes.”

“And they’re all pretty cool, for the most part. Right?”

“Yes.”

Tony smiled. “And my cousins didn’t seem to care that you were gay, right?”

“Yes.”

“So, I’m ready.”

Azra nodded. “Okay, Dear,” he whispered.

“Hey!” Tony called out louder than the radio. “I wanna say something!” Haimish didn’t hear him and kept babbling loudly to one of the little cousins. “Shut it, Ham!”

“Huh? Oh, Sorry Tony,” the brunette said, looking embarrassed.

“I wanted to tell everyone something important.”

“I bet he got accepted into a better uni,” one of his aunts whispered loudly.

“No, this isn’t about school. This is something… about me. I want my family to know.” They all waited. “Azra isn’t just my flatmate.” He took the blonde’s hand and held it snugly. “He’s my boyfriend.” The air in the grew thick almost immediately. Tony barely seemed to notice. In fact, he was smiling now. “We’ve been together almost a year now, and he makes me happy. I noticed you all liked him, and that makes me happy too.” He glanced down at the blonde, who was looking straight down at the floor now. He grasped Tony’s hand tighter. “Azra, it’s okay,” he told the blonde quietly before looking back up at his family. No one had moved, aside from an uncomfortable shift of a foot, or a gulp of alcohol. “Well, that’s all I wanted to say.”

Tony’s grandfather stood slowly from his chair. Tony’s grandmother was pale. His parents left the room quickly, a tug to his father’s hand by his mother, with that one motion. “Anthony.”

“Yeah?”

“Come here.” He stepped forward, hand still threaded through Azra’s. “Leave him there.”

“Uh… Okay.” Tony loosened his grip, but Azra was hesitant to let him go. “Angel, Granda asked me to go alone.”

“I don’t want you to,” he whispered desperately.

“Don’t worry.” He pressed a kiss to the back of the hand holding his, and then Azra finally let go. Tony still didn’t seem to notice the tension in the room. He knew everyone would be surprised, and read the silence as such. Tony stopped in front of his grandfather. “What did you-?”

The back of the old man’s hand seared into Tony’s cheek, knocking his glasses to the floor. The ginger could barely respond. He didn’t know what had just happened. “Selfish and disgusting! Bringing that shit into the family! Betraying everyone with this filth!? And on Christmas!?”

Tony flinched when he touched his burning cheek. He didn’t notice himself cowering as he stood in front of his imposing grandfather. “I… I-I just wanted everyone to know about him…”

“Like I said: selfish!”

“I-I don’t understand. Granda-”

“Silence!” He screamed again. Azra had run to Tony’s side and embraced him protectively. “You! Don’t touch him! You’re the reason he’s tainted now! Get out of my sight! Out of my house! I will not have a fag-!”

“Stop!” Azra shouted. He stood, blocking Tony. He willed his hands not to turn into fists. “How dare you speak to your grandson that way!”

“Boy-!”

“No!” The look on the old man’s face told Azra that no one had ever swung back at him before. Why did Tony seem to look up to him so much when he was obviously so cruel? Azra shot a scolding finger up to the old man. “I don’t care who you are or how much older you are than me! You will not speak to him that way, or lay another finger on him!”

“Angel, it’s okay,” Tony began. He placed a hand on Azra’s shoulder. “I gave him a shock. I-”

“Don’t make excuses for him…!” Tony’s cheek was an even angrier shade of red now. He was even more injured than Azra realized. This only fuelled the fire inside him. Azra took a step toward the seething old man. “Tony loves you, and you’re the one who betrayed him! Not the other way ‘round!” Azra spun around, daring to put his back to the enemy. “And the rest of you just let this happen!?”

“Angel, really…”

“You all just stood there and allowed this… this… tyrant to act and speak this way!? Have you no shame!?”

“Get out of my house!” Granda screamed at the back of the blonde’s head. “Neither of you are welcome here ever again!”

“Granda, please,” Tony said, finally putting his glasses back on. “We can talk about this. Please…” Tony’s voice broke.

“Get out!”

“Fine!” Azra shouted and turned to face him once more. “We’ll leave. But this isn’t over.” He was almost growling.

“Oh, it’s over, boy.”

“Fuck. You.” He took Tony’s hand. “Come along, Darling. Let’s find a phone book and call a cab so we can get out of here.”

Tony wasn’t fast enough to catch the single tear that fell. “Right. I think I might know where it is.”

There wasn’t another sound aside from the radio until the two had made it out of then den and into the kitchen. The whispers were unintelligible from in here, but Azra knew what they were saying. He’d heard it all before, but just not from family members. Azra searched for a zip-top bag, and filled it with ice. Tony held the bag to his cheek. He was expressionless now, just leaning against the island. Azra saw a phone on the wall, and noticed there was a telephone cabinet beneath it. Sure enough, the phone book was there. The blonde was still flipping through it when the distinct sound of heels and loafers hit the tiles.

“Tony, are you hurt?” Azra heard Ken say.

“Don’t touch him,” Effie said.

“You need to put a towel around that or you could get frost bite.”

“Ken-”

“Now’s not the time, Effie.”

Azra marked the page he was on, finally locating the cabbie companies. “Where were you two?” he asked. He wasn’t bothering to hide the disapproval in his voice.

“I knew Thomas would act like a fool,” Effie said. “So I got out of there. No need to have me and Ken go through something like that.”

“Excuse me? You didn’t want to go through it? What about your son?”

“He brought this upon himself.” She looked Azra up and down. “I should’ve known something was up with you two.”

“He’s gay, so what?” Ken said. “What’s the big deal? He’s still our son.”

“’M not gay,” Tony mumbled.

“Sure you’re not,” his mother groaned.

“Effie,” Ken almost spat. “My point is: it doesn’t matter.” He pulled his keys from his pocket. “Azra, here, you can borrow the car. I’ll get one of my sisters to take me and Effie home.”

“I don’t know how to drive,” he admitted. He was glad that at least one of Tony’s family members wasn’t disowning him. Even if he hadn’t stuck up for him like a father should.

“Oh. Well, I don’t think Tony should be driving right now.”

“I’ll call a cab.”

“You can stay tonight,” Tony’s mother said. “Since it will be impossible for you to find a hotel tonight, but once you’re awake, I don’t want either of you in my house.”

“What?” Ken said. “You can’t just decide that without me!”

“I don’t want them in my house any longer than they have to be. Thomas had the right idea.”

“The house is in my name!” He hugged his son, and with that simple embrace, Tony was crying quietly. “And you boys can stay as long as you want. You’re always welcome under my roof.”

“I appreciate that, Mr. Crowley,” Azra said. “But I think it’ll be best we get a hotel as soon as we can…” Azra watched Tony hug his father tightly and shake with his sobs. “For him.”

“Effie, fill up some Tupperware for them.”

“What?” She was aghast.

“I want them to have something to eat once they get to their hotel. I’ll pay for it, Azra.”

“Are you sure?” the blonde asked.

“I’m sure. Effie, we’ll discuss this after they leave. Now, go on. Get them some food.”