Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Silence.

You could cut through it, it was so thick in the moment. Hawks was not sure what he was expecting, but this certainly wasn’t it, and that didn’t happen a lot. For his expectations, or lack thereof to be met. He always thought that just maybe, maybe it would have never been brought back up again. Maybe he would have been able to escape it. Maybe he would have never had to hear of it ever again, but the tightness in his throat and the pressure behind his eyes was a world shattering reminder that no. He couldn’t. He was Hawks after all, Keigo Takami, he never got what he desired in the long run. Did he show this layer of weakness to the other heroes at the table, in a sudden meeting while most were recovering still from injuries of the raid because a hard realization hit the commission and they needed to save their own hide before more people turned against them? No. Even as most heroes here themselves let it show, that weakness in this moment that he so desperately covered up every time a pair of eyes were on him, every time he smiled, every time he joked, every time he teased, every time- no, all the time. He was always wearing that carefully crafted mask so that no one even got a peek of what's behind, through the eye sockets of the face he constantly wore, but suddenly that mask is cracked by the very people who created it.

His fellow heroes were watching intently the moment the president herself stepped into the room. It clicked in all of them that this was no ordinary meeting. Hawks couldn’t tell just why she came to give the meeting at first, maybe he couldn’t see the full picture because of the wrap still on half his face. In the end, they gave him no warning, no note that said, “Hey, we’re going to reveal your tragic past to your co-workers! Be emotionally prepared!” He only made sense of why her, and why this meeting, and just why in general when she sat down. Shooting him a look of what was almost empathy. Almost. What made it worse was his lack of wings. They were still growing back; he itched and was sore all over, the need to preen had clawed through him but he never gave himself such luxury especially this time. It was a distraction, a bad habit. But that's besides the point, the point was, he didn’t have wings. He was trapped, vulnerable, no longer a Hawk and more like a Mocking Jay ready to be shot down.

He was grateful that all eyes were on her, staring, pouring into the woman with every passing moment, every bated breath. No one saw his jaw clench tightly at the mere mention of the GT Program. Instead everyone noticed how she seemed to let out a breath of what was almost anxiousness, the woman who could never seem to be brought down is nervous . The tension rose exponentially from there, Hawks almost felt light headed, nauseous, and maybe would pass out if he stood up. At least that would get him out of here. Out of this hell. 

She tried to ease them into it. Explaining what it was. A government program to help train the newest generation of heroes, a program to legally create child soldier’s he corrected bitterly in his own thoughts. There were a total of six units, five young adults, children, in each. Some were recruited a little younger due to their extraordinary skill sets, but unsafe situations, which lead to them being brought in sooner, I was six and you used my own dream against me when I wanted to leave . As each unit progressed into young heroes the tougher the training got, the President of the Commission explained sadly, it was their biggest mistake to think that they could push kids so hard. Hawks bit the inside of his cheek roughly as his eyes quickly darted throughout the room. They all waited silently to hear what the kicker of this explanation would be. As far as he could tell they took the bait of remorse for the kids in the program, few seemed to show at least that they think that there is something amiss. 

“Unit six was our biggest regret, and our biggest failure to date.” Failure. Hawks might have reacted to such faux grievances if he wasn’t taught how to not do so. Maybe she knew, or maybe she didn’t that he could see right through her, every lie, every false movement and pause to seem much more genuine. She was rusty. Just not enough for other heroes to notice. His fingernails dug into the palms of his hands as he took in a deep breath quietly, a tightness forming in his chest as she continued to run her mouth to the heroes who seemed to be hit that the reason for this sudden meeting was about to come up. Admitting the Commission's biggest mistake meant something huge, and he could tell by the tension in their shoulders that they knew that too. 

She gulped softly, nice touch, he thought, “Unit six was consisted of five children that were much younger than the previous five units, and was different in a sense that they were trained much more rigorously.” She paused again as if to contemplate but Keigo-no Hawks, he knew that she already had this all planned out to every breath she took, “They were not just taught how to fine tune their skills at a young age, but their trainers wanted to add something new to the mix. How to react.” She looked up to the group before her, “This meant reaction in every scenario, including combat. This made the unit’s abilities increase much quicker and leave room for perfecting and preventing mistakes. Once they knew how to act and react in these situations it left open time, that their teachers used to push more on to the children rather than giving them time to mingle and interact with each other. During the extra time they were given training that no other unit got, how to go undercover. Completely.” She stated to the group.

Hawks’ eyes flashed towards the teachers, their faces twisted with worry as if they knew where this was going. Even he knew that being taught how to go completely undercover was not for those with light hearts and high hopes, it wasn’t for the All Mights of the world. He flicked his eyes back over to the president, now biting down on his tongue as she continued, “They didn’t start such training until they reached their teenage years, but around the same time something new happened. We were given a fourteen year old boy to join their unit and start late.” She grit her teeth, that was genuine. Was she really going to say what Hawks had figured out during his fight? During the raid? What nearly broke him on the spot?

Her head was looking at the paper in front of her, down, ashamed, He could feel the nervousness in his throat and could only figure that the other heroes had such as well, she picked up her head to look forward, as if to not look at anyone, “The child was dubbed Cremator and was recently revealed to be the villain Dabi.” She let her words float and sink into the heroes. Silence was abundant and overwhelming in the moment. It was as if the collective of each hero in the room was silenced and all their hearts stopped at the exact same moment. Including Hawks- no, Keigo’s. Even though he knew. He knew who he was, but the mention of it again nearly shattered the mask completely. He wasn’t quite sure if he would survive this meeting anymore. 

The president cleared her voice, “The trainers pushed him hard because he was such a late comer.” She spoke in a soft, hushed tone, “Most of the children were brought in before the weight of the world would kill them,” lies, “He brought in ideas and things that they never heard of before whenever they did get the chance to meet.” Continuing, her head turned back down, “He listened to bands that they never heard of, had ideas they never did. So when he explained what suicide was so that they could understand some of the lyrics,” her voice trailed off, Hawks could swear he heard gasps from the surrounding heroes, but instead they were all silent, a heavy one at that.

“No one realized how hard they had been pushed until that day. Two of the six were found.”She paused for a much longer period than before, the pressure behind his eye grew, and even threatened to spill tears on the papers below him. What she failed to mention was the fact that he was the one to find them, hanging, and gone. What she failed to mention was how they told him that he was partly to blame for being too slow, or how he should have noticed. What she failed to mention was how much more intense training was in identification of issues after the incident. He felt angry, but he should have expected it, of course she would sugarcoat the situation. 

But she gave just enough to incite pity from the heroes, molded to save lives no matter the situation, as she let a few tears escape as if she actually cared. Hawks could only figure that a few heroes were misty eyed as well, most were incredibly empathetic. He would give them that. His heart rate picked up suddenly, as if he sensed something was coming, to be said and spewed from her lips and if he’s being honest he doesn’t know if he would be able to handle it. Sniffling she inhaled deeply, and dramatically as she sat up. Skeptics that were thinking something was amiss were suddenly in a sense satisfied. Thinking, how could it get worse?

Poor souls had no idea.

She continued once again, “Cremator was paired with another child. He was our most promising out of the entire unit, he would give us information if needed about what he was saying, and what he would do to try and derail that way of thinking for Cremator.” Him, she was talking about him, but not using his name. Maybe there was hope, “He stayed for quite awhile. We unfortunately taught him well.” Her tone was grave. Reality seemed to hit the heroes as everything sunk in. A program that not even the top knew of, a villain did. He experienced it. Lived it. It was the most rigorous version of it too which helped their situation none, “This information could rattle civilian society, and hero society. Trust with the commission could decrease and riots would form over night if he frames the truth just right.” She looked up, now looking in the eyes of the heroes, “Which is why we wished to explain to you the truth, and that yes, it was a mistake. But he has vital information on the commission and others.”

Another pause, just get to the fucking point, “One day his trainer went to far and he was in an accident like no other.” Words soft, Keigo couldn’t help but bite down on his lip so hard that it felt numb under the immense pain, “Which is why he is well, covered in scars.” Her voice cracked slightly, but she wasn’t finished, “He could use that moment of when a man, that we put in jail, went too far, the program itself, or what happened to the last remaining person of the unit.” His throat tightened suddenly, no, no she wouldn’t do this to him, not here, not now, not without warning, not without any kind of notice, she couldn’t, he could barely handle the fact that Touya he- “After his accident there were three were left in the unit. One also, unfortunately committed right after, fear that it would happen to him too.” Her voice genuinely shook as she neared the truth that Hawks didn’t want her to reveal, “The other couldn’t take it mentally, and was taken out of the program and distanced from heroes entirely. The only one left was the one that had stuck close to him, the one who became his friend. ”

It was as if the world stopped spinning and that he was going to fall through straight to Hell because anything would have been better than this. He didn’t want to be uncovered, exposed as one of their victims, he didn’t want their pity, he didn’t want them to know that he has been a bird in a cage all his life. Maybe he could convince them that it was golden, but everyone would know that it was gilded. That it is gilded. His hands shook as they gripped each other, knowing the heroes were on the edge of their seats to hear just who it was. Who was a villains, who was Dabi’s childhood friend? Blame. They were going to blame him for not being able to save him, for not being able to stop this before it started. They were going to blame him. He wasn’t fast enough. He was always fast enough, so why isn’t he now? Why is it that the ones you can’t save are the ones who mean the most? He’s been alone all his life except for him, Touya, he missed him. He misses him. He is nothing more than just an annoying and arrogant child who seemed to luck his way to the number two spot to the other pros, when in reality he suffered through training far worse than any of theirs. They never saw him. No, they only saw Hawks. Touya was the only one who knew Keigo. 

On the outside was the cool exterior of Hawks, just paying attention like the others, maybe under reacting to what was being presented. On the outside. The president licked her lips as her eyes darted up. Everyone knew that she knew what they wanted to know. Who? He could basically hear her heart pounding in her chest. There was no turning back from it now, once they knew they knew, and would probably try desperately to get him to speak of the program. That was a risk she was willing to take.

“The only one who managed to survive and come out a hero was Keigo Takami, otherwise known as the winged hero, Hawks.”

Silence.

The silence was so loud at the declaration.

He felt bare.

He felt wrong. 

They knew.

They knew.

Not just that it was him, but his name too. His name? Why would she ever give them his name? It made no sense to him. It’s been a secret kept from the public and other heroes for years, and here she is just so simply throwing it out along with everything else about him. After it became something so incredibly important to him, something dear, only given to someone after they’ve earned all his trust, and was only whispered between him and them in the dead of night as they laid there ignoring how tired they were while on borrowed time. It was only spoken between him and Touya during those short nights after training. Then Dabi took hold of it, did nothing but kept it in his hands, while the president smashed it into pieces in front of him. 

Anger boiled up inside, fuck was he angry. Seething as fire beneath the surface demanded to burst out, but while she kindled the flames he doused them as fast as he could. The room was silent, and for a moment he was granted a bit of peace. No one turned to him, but then they did, and when they did it was all at once. They turned to the hero who wore a blank face, who was suddenly a blank slate. He just looked on as eyes from every corner of the room burned into him. Suddenly he was no longer the carefree child they once knew, that they once saw. No, now it was like worlds had collided as some began to realize that they might have never even met the real him. Some, knowing now that they were staring at a mask instead of a person for all these years. Hawks was suddenly plucked bare for everyone to see. To pity. He hated it.

Thoughts rushed to him all at once, what do they see him as now? What do they think of him? What does Endeavor think of him? The last one hurt more than it should. He was no bird brain; he knows what the man did, and all it took was one look at his youngest and a quick search, but that didn’t stop how he idolized the hero. Hawks should know, more than anyone that there is a difference between man and hero. There is a difference between Endeavor and Enji. There is a difference between Hawks and Keigo. 

Suddenly he hates himself more than he already does. He doesn’t care what they think. He shouldn’t care what they think.

His inner turmoil wrecked through him for the rest of the meeting. His ears seemed to ring and drown out any other sound. They would tell him what he specifically needs to know later anyways. These meetings have always just been for show most of the time anyway. So why is he here now? To humiliate him? Probably. He only snapped out of his daze when the president stood, giving her farewell with a bow to the heroes. Their next big mission basically being if you spot something that might show off the ugly side of the commission, stop it, and if it does get out you do everything you can to keep the peace between them and the public.

Suddenly with her gone he was stuck in a room full of large cats, as he, the Mocking Jay, struggled to find a way out. He was wingless. He had no defense. He had no escape. The best he could do after she was gone was to stand and begin to pack away his things quietly. Another expectation was thrown out of the window again, Aizawa was the first to try and speak after so much was piled on top, “Hawks,” Hawks quickly cut him off. Looking his way. His mask was broken, completely obliterated with small specs clinging on desperately to hide the darkest shadows of him. But he knew how to dust off all the pieces and shove them back on for the time being, he can fix it later.

Shooting the older man a smile that was much, much brighter than normal, desperate in attempting to hide all the cracks within himself, not just the mask, “I know right! Always saying I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed, but I’m a bit sharper than you might think!” Shooting the man a wink with a finger gun pointing his way, that only seemed to make him frown more. No longer a frown from just being tired, no he was worried for Hawks. I don’t want your pity. His brain couldn’t help but spit out at the other. Sadly for him, packing up wasn’t as fast as normal without any feathers to safely spare, but his hands were fast. More frantic and it was on display for anyone to see. He didn’t want to speak about it. I can’t do it. 

“Hawks,” the man took careful steps closer, “I believe that this is really something you should talk about.” The gruff but soft voice inched closed as he spoke. The thing was, Hawks knew. He knew what happened to him. What Kurogiri was to Eraserhead, to Aizawa. It was a fucked up parallel between the two. A sick joke that the universe made just for them, to follow them, haunt them, and hopefully one day break them. Both had a close friend, close friend is then presumed dead, close friend ends up with the League of Villains, the same close friend might as well be deemed unsaveable. Most heroes knew about Kurogiri, but it was kept quiet whenever the dead eyed man would make an appearance. Hawks will admit, it’s a sad thing to have experience with. 

Hawks won’t crack. He won’t expose Keigo. He couldn’t, letting out a laugh that just sounded so real he threw back his head, “Oh! That’s what Mirko said about me and my chicken. But I ain’t giving that up either!” He jested, and he can feel the pity. Pity. Pity is stupid, unnecessary, and gets in the way. He just wants them to stop. Turning his back he continued in his light tone, “Sorry but I should go get some! Takes a lot of energy to grow these bad boys back.” He jerked his thumb to the pathetically small mass of feathers on his back, while forcing himself to recognize that it only seemed to make escape harder with them being so small. Not only that but the eyes. The eyes on him were immense. Aizawa probably just wanted to catch him before he truly ran off, tried to stay quiet and keep it between the two, but no matter how silent he talked to Hawks, the rest would hear, or at least try to. 

Two steps. He took two steps when he said it, a hint of worry, tiredness, and remorse laced through the tone, “Keigo.” He didn’t know what overcame him. Anger, white hot rage that made him feel frozen in his spot. No. No, he refused to let another person just throw something that was just so precious to him, something so personal to him. He refuses to let someone else grab it and add another crack. At that moment, Hawks snapped, and a Keigo filled with rage had emerged.

A feather tore itself from his back, far too early and half soaked with blood, hovering over the hero's neck. 

The room froze.

His quirk was left alone, not being erased even at such a sight of danger. Aizawa wasn’t stupid when it came to young heroes with emotional turmoil, hell he was one at one point. Hawks needed trust. He needed to talk, and explain, but he couldn’t do it under orders, no he needed to open up. Aizawa will admit, he just wasn’t expecting it to be quite like this. 

Keigo still had his back to the underground hero as words slid out, “You think because you got a sugar coated and simplified backstory of me from the president,” His head turned to the side to look at him, and for once Hawks looked furious, eyes darkened under the glare he sent to him, “That I want to talk?” His neck cracked as he turned it more and used it to lead the rest of his body to face the other hero, “More importantly,” venom seeped into each word, “You think that you can just call me by my name?” The room was filled with held breaths and highly alert eyes, any move to actually kill the man and Hawks would be down. But it almost made him laugh, if he wanted to he would have done so when he knew he would have had a better chance, and that he was always faster.

The two heroes, on opposite sides of the spectrum, with a scarily similar past with just one glaring difference, stood in a standoff. Aizawa found it in him to find the best words he can for the situation, “Of course not I simply wanted-” he was cut off, “Wanted? We don’t always get what we want, Eraserhead. ” He spat back out. Aizawa watched him with careful eyes, the notably merciless teacher letting his own true colors show, “No, no we don’t. I did just want to know, how much of you have we met?” Keigo paused. Him. He was talking about him, not Hawks. How much of Keigo have they met, that was the real question. His teeth grit together as his angered features remained the same, unwavering. Hawks wouldn’t break down at the singular question. Not the question that sounded so similar to the one that someone asked him years ago after they joined the program. 

He took a breath, suppressing the tears with an alarming amount of trouble, but his face still remained unmoved as he spoke, “You have met all of nothing of me.” He shot out back. He had to get out, he had to. He could. He just had to turn around and walk away. He just had to move. Why can’t I move. It felt like all he could do was stand there coldly, and Aizawa? The bastard took advantage of that. Gently pushing against the feather, moving it off to the side as he took steps closer to the kid who stood in front of him. Keigo hasn’t been the only kid who has been through a rough childhood that he’s helped, and not the first to refuse help. Sure it would be difficult in the long run, but he couldn’t let him build up walls again and find a way to avoid him completely before Aizawa could leave some kind of impact. 

He refuses to let there be blood on his hands because he did the wrong move.

To Keigo it seemed like the man was moving on automatic, as if there was no thought, when in reality he moved with purpose, just carefully. Then and there, before he would run off, before he could avoid him, before he could find it in himself to move again Aizawa pulled him into a close hug. Making sure he didn’t touch the sensitive area around his wings, and Keigo froze. He didn’t know what to do. Eraserhead, Aizawa managed to get close to him and pulled him into a fatherly embrace. His body was frozen against the others and it felt as though the years of training, layers of resistance, it finally broke under the softest pressure that was the warmth of someone who cared.

Body starting to tremble slightly as his eyes stared at the blank wall the direction his head turned. On the other side of them were a group of heroes he’s looked up at most of his life, heroes that he had tried so hard to gain their respect, some that he had to push to earn. Those heroes are finally seeing a weakness. A true weakness, not physically, but instead a weakness that nestled itself deep inside and waned at his resolve in himself throughout the years. He didn’t hug back. He refused to. He was so tired of masks, of pretending.

Who even is he?

How much of you have we met?

Has he even met himself?

He doesn’t know, and the fact that he doesn’t know gets a tear to streak down his cheek as he stares on at the wall. The prematurely pulled feather by this point has floated down in silence. Silence. He hates silence, but right now he could go for some silence alone, and in peace. Finally he pushed back lightly against the older hero who only held for a moment longer before moving back. Before anyone else could see he swiped at his cheek before turning around, things in hand and walking out, mumbling out the last word to him, “You never earned the right to know me.”

 He remembered the last time he cried. After Touya’s accident, in his bed at the dead of night before the following morning being reminded that crying was a weakness, and that if something happens he shouldn’t let it get to him.

It is a weakness after all.

Keigo hasn’t cried in so long, and he wasn’t about to break that streak, at least not in front of fellow pro heroes. His back hurt, the pressure in his eyes was an awful feeling, the tightness of his throat made it feel like he was going to throw up, the day had been rough and he honestly wanted to forget every moment of it. He wanted to forget. He didn’t want to do this anymore.

He wanted to disappear.

He wanted to let his arms fall, and his head lean back.

He wanted to give up.

But he couldn’t. The wrap on his face was a heavy reminder, as if it were made of stone. He couldn’t give up with him still out there. He couldn’t give up if there was a chance that he could save him. He couldn’t give up with the phantom touch of Aizawa lingering. He couldn’t give up with the thought that maybe somebody did care. Maybe.

The room remained silent even after Hawks was gone and Aizawa was left alone where the boy used to be. Air heavy as they all digested what the commission told them, Hawks snapping and giving them a hard slap in the face with reality that they hid it for so long, of course there is more that they didn’t dare tell them, and Eraserhead trying so hard to save him in the end. Hizashi watched his lifelong friend with a frown, not because he was disappointed in his attempts, no but instead worried that if this all ended badly that he would place the blame on himself when he was only able to be there for Hawks for an incredibly short period of time. One conversation was never enough, “Sho…” His voice trailed, for once softer than his casual yell. Aizawa only said a single sentence to reply, knowing what he meant.

“He just reminds me of someone is all, ‘Zashi.” 

Chapter Text

Hawks sat upright on his bed, fighting the urge to scratch at his wings as the awful itch grew. He lost a decent amount of feathers during training this time around and he didn’t want to let himself preen, he’ll admit it’s starting to become a bit of a bad habit but he’s fine. It won’t be the end of him or anything, it’s just a bit more annoying after his bath. A soft and proud smile graced his face lightly, he’s been doing so well with his recent tasks that they’ve given him a place to bathe with more room than a cramped shower, a spot that let him stretch out his wings and shake the water out of them comfortably. He’s been doing well and the rewards are starting to show, it was as if all the grueling work with the commission was starting to pay off in small ways. 

The door flew open as his roommate took a step in with a deep groan as he let the door shut behind him. The red head walked up to his bed and fell face first into the mattress, knowing that the little bird was watching him, but honestly he could not care any less. Training was awful and left him sore all over. It was worse than his father’s, but at least it wasn’t as bad as his first week here. Yet after two years he would have expected that his body would have built up some kind of tolerance to the hard work he endured. Exhausted all the time, bags dragging down his face, hair growing messier with each passing day, he never understood how the bird was able to put up with this since he was like what, six? Now he’s fifteen, he’s been here for nine years and Keigo hasn’t once physically broken down in the two years he’s been here, at least not in front of him.

“Tough day?” The blonde chirped to him curiously, looking over at the other mattress where he laid. The groan from Crema-Touya, he quickly reminded himself. That was his name, he entrusted Keigo with it. Anyway he let out a comically dramatic groan which let Keigo allow a bit of bubbly chuckle leave his own throat. The sound made Touya’s head turn with interest as he faced him, Keigo could tell it was interest but he wasn’t really sure why, “Oh little dove you wound me with your laughter, please bring honor to me after my passing, after my suffering! I bequeath to you all of my belongings.” He playfully stated out into the air with flare.

It caused the same sound to erupt from Keigo as he watched the other roll out his tongue and close his eyes, “So all of sixty-eight cents and a pair of underwear you never change out of?” Touya’s eyes shot open with a fire behind them, “Sixty-nine cents, and some days I go commando.” Keigo snorted, bringing up a thin leg to hold onto as he quirked up an eyebrow from the other bed, “I don’t think that that is any better at all, and it is sixty-eight cents.” The hothead jumped up and shook his head, as if all his energy returned to him after his shower, and the mere start of a conversation with this stupid little bird. 

He flopped down on the other end of Keigo’s bed heavily, causing the other to bounce up a bit with a smile, “Came all the way over here to make a point or something?” The question earned him a wink in return, “You know it.” Touya couldn’t help but let himself admit that he is at least a little lucky. At home he had his siblings, here he had Keigo. At least there was someone to look forward to seeing each day. He paused and caught how the others' wings twitched lightly. Now he was no genius when it came to birds but he remembered something about preening being mentioned to him once while he was here. Moving feathers to be more comfortable or even pulling them out. That and Keigo never let them twitch, so he quickly put two and two together as his eyes met the other boys, “Your wings okay? They’re kinda twitching a bit.”

Keigo paused at the statement. Touya has always made a good amount of progress, but for him to call out something he noticed on Hawks, something he wanted to conceal, Hawks was suddenly caught off guard. Taking a moment to pause, which Touya then took for himself. Sitting up on the edge of the bed, “I remember some kid talking about preening or whatever it’s called. I’m guessing you do that,” he paused, as if his breath was caught, “Do you want me to help?”

The offer threw Hawks off even more. Sure other kids asked him if they could touch them, but no one ever asked to help him preen, clean them up, and maybe pull out a few feathers to pick up the pace that they grew. It was something his parents did so long ago. No one else ever did such a thing besides his parents. That familiar and deeply rooted hatred suddenly reminded him that it was still there, that he was upset that they put him here.

He didn’t want to relate something so personal to them.

Touya on the other hand? His body was cold, but his warmed up hands could feel heavenly against his feathers, it would be nice if done right. Gulping softly he finally nodded, moving from his spot to sitting next to Touya on the edge, “Yeah, yeah that would be nice if you could,” he smiled softly as his eyes flickered quickly to the other on the bed, “Just be careful and be gentle, and warm up your hands a bit you popsicle.” He poked at the other, his normal, much more excitable exterior gone, his mask had been carefully placed on the bedside table where his weeks worth of medication sat. Not enough to kill, just enough to be an indicator if he tried. 

Touya nodded and hummed, kicking off his shoes before shuffling behind the other. With Keigo in front of him and about to touch something he knew was incredibly sensitive, each feather connected to the others mind, so he couldn’t really afford to fuck this up. Suddenly it felt very intimate, this was something that no one else got to do, and most when they first tried to even get near the wings the feathers sharpened be fully alert, and now here he is, about to run his hands through them. Allowing his quirk to rest just beneath the surface he took in a breath and let his hands gently and carefully move towards the redness in front of him. A nervousness passed and then nested itself in his gut. He wanted to impress him.

Keigo took in a sharp quiet breath as the warm hand touched his right wing, barely grazing the feathers before moving down carefully, causing a few loose feathers to fall with each caring movement, straightening them out. It felt nice. Keigo’s eyes closed and the tension in his shoulders slowly disappeared at the caress of each feather. The warm touch is inviting, but just not enough. He let his voice drift in the air to reach the redheads ears, “You can press a little harder.” Then Touya did. Listening to his instructions on how to care for his wings.

It was strange. Keigo didn’t know what the feeling was in his chest that seemed to trail up into his throat. Well, the commission cared for him, but just not in such a way. His parents might have helped when they weren’t far gone in the head, but not with such care and attention to detail for him. It felt like he was truly being taken care of for the first time in a way, instead of doing it all himself. It was strange but Keigo knew it was enjoyable, to not have to worry. 

The moment turned into a minute, which turned into two, and then three and four. Keigo couldn’t keep track, and neither could Touya as he moved his fingers through the wings. At some point the blonde let his head roll to the side as he relaxed. Eyes closed and trusting. He was vulnerable and for once the person behind him didn’t take advantage of that.

Touya cut the silence with a silent question, “Keigo, can you still fly with these?” The blonde’s eyebrow shot up and turned his head to him slowly, thinking, why on Earth would he want to know that, “Well yeah,” he shrugged, “It’s not like the commission set them ablaze or anything.” He chuckled softly, leaning his weight onto one hand so he could carefully twist to meet the others gaze, even as his hand still worked their way through the red wings. 

Touya smiled at him with a glint in his eye that Hawks could only figure was excitement, “Wanna turn this boring night into a fun one?” He asked, “They let us in early but it’s already dark.” Hawks quickly caught onto what the other was trying to imply, his eyebrows went straight up, paired with wide eyes filled with mild panic, in a hushed low tone he spoke in a whisper, “Sneak out?” he asked and the other only seemed to smile wider. Keigo didn’t know what to say. He should say no, that it was a violation of rules, he should report it to their superiors, but that would get Touya into so much trouble and what if they never shared a moment like this again.

Emotion and desire is a weakness, Hawks.

He ignored his trainers words as they cut through his mind. The Commission wanted him here. Touya wanted him here. That was no weakness. He was no weakness, right? Gulping he bit down on the tip of his tongue as panic filled him quickly. His next words came out soft, to hopefully derail the way of thinking, he could stop it now before it got out of hand, even if deep down, far deep down beneath the thick layers of resolve and training he wanted to follow the other boy out of here. His voice came out soft, and in a way almost broken, “Isn’t this enough?”

The question cut through Touya as if he was sliced in half by the little bird's feather. A pause with his mouth hanging open slightly he pushed himself forward to be in the others face as the words quickly sputtered out of his mouth, “What? Of course it is! Of course you are!” Suddenly realizing how close he got Touya gulped, a slow and careful hand, still warm on the surface, came up, “You are enough.” The hand found it’s spot on Keigo’s cheek. The little doves eyes were wide and his wings spread out. He did that. Touya did that. Caught the birdie off guard. He just had to correctly use the moment. Taking in a breath his bright blue eyes poured into gold as he continued to speak.

“I am not enough,”

Before he could be cut off he held up his free hand to the other as he continued softly, “I know, so much, about the world around us. I know what’s out there. I know what you never got the chance to experience because you’ve been stuck in this place. You’ve,” he trailed off and let his tongue dart out to wet his lips as he closed his eyes genuinely contemplating the next set of words. His eyes opened to look Keigo in the eye. Voice filled with remorse, and a slight bit of pity, “You’ve been a bird in a gilded cage all your life, and you deserve so much more. I should do my part in trying to give you some of what you deserve.”

Keigo stared into his eyes, a slight wetness glazing over the gold of his own iris as his breath was caught in his throat. The others hand still pressed warmly against his cheek as if he was holding him steady and keeping Keigo in one piece. The thumb swiped across his face gently as a tear escaped his eye. Letting out a shaky sounding breath Keigo let his eyes lower to his own hands that rested in his lap. Thoughts running a thousand miles per minute. Touya really did care, it was no act, he really wanted the best for him and was willing to do what he had to do to get through to him. Hawks at this point was completely shelved and for once Keigo emerged willing to run off with his desires. Run off happily and proudly with his so-called weakness.  

His eyes moved up to look at Touya’s, a kind of desperation hid behind them. Hoping that he was getting through to Keigo. With a nod from the blonde he knew that he succeeded, “Yeah.” His voice was soft, but a smile returned to his face as a slight bit of determination filled his eyes, “Yes. Let’s do it. What did you have in mind?” Touya couldn’t stop the smile that pulled at his face, then moved back to sit up and looked to the window they had. Hawks had proved to the commission how “loyal” he was to them. He was a bird. A glimpse of freedom was deemed a reward for him, even if it was locked up tightly, “I know you can pick that lock and if it trips anything you can leave a feather under the door.” Touya explained a bit of hope for himself in his own eyes that Keigo only caught a glimpse of.

In the moment Hawks recognized it. Touya wanted out. Needed to be out. Needed a night of freedom. Touya needed to be saved. Any doubt that Keigo might have had vanished as his heart of gold jumped out knowing he had to help. Now not only did he want to do his, but he had to do this. He had to save him, even if it was only for a single night.  With a nod Keigo jumped up, sending a feather to nestle itself under the door as he walked to the window. More feathers coming up to the window as he got to work.

Nervousness gripped him tightly and he just about swayed at how lightheaded with both excitement and anxiety being the reasons why. Touya watched carefully behind him, from over his shoulder. He could tell in the reflection that he was biting down on his lip hard as his eyes watched Keigo’s hands and feathers worked through the lock. A few minutes later there was a soft pop and Keigo froze.

The window was open. No alarms went off. No vibrations rang.

Looking into Touya’s eyes through the reflection he smiled, “Get your shoes on.” The redhead smiled brightly as he turned around to grab his previously discarded shoes, Hawks doing the same. Straightening up his large shirt and shorts just a bit after pulling on his shoes. Touya let out a pleased laugh, something soft, causing Hawks to look up curiously. The other looked him in the eyes as he tightened his laces, “You really are something little dove.”

Keigo didn’t know what about the nickname made him feel something he hadn’t before, but it did. Well, it’s happened before just not like this. A knot in his stomach, and a light feeling at the bottom of his throat, a light heat rising to his cheeks. Clearing his throat he stood and went back to the window, “We’re pretty high up,” he pointed out, giving a playful smile to the redhead, “Think you can handle that?” With a snicker the other pushed him lightly, “Anything you can do I can do better.” He said in a silly voice, something Keigo has picked up to be an indicator of a reference to something. He wanted to know what it meant.

“Anyway, before we head to the place I do want us to go to, we’re gonna need to make a stop because these,” he gestured to the clothes they both wore, “Will not be okay with me. If you’re going out for the first time in nine years, you’re gonna look good.” Keigo merely chuckled, having a brief memory to when his mom would help him pick out clothes, saying to him that he shouldn’t look as fucked up as he did. Quickly shaking the memory away he reminded himself that he’s remaking those memories with Touya,, “Do I not look good all the time?” He asked playfully, only to be met with an equally playful, “Oh you do, trust me.”

Ignoring the heat on his face he spoke to Touya about how to get around, the best and safest option being for Touya to hold onto him while he held him back. Just to be safe. He did a quick test fly around the room with the added weight to his front before finally angling himself correctly to go through the window. The air was colder the higher he was and they were high. Touya didn’t seem too bothered by it at least. It suddenly hit him, he was outside. On his own accord. His own choice. He was free. 

Taking a shaky breath he quickly refocused his attention to the person hanging onto him, listening to his directions as he flew, gradually going lower so he wouldn’t accidentally make the other sick. They eventually made it to a side of town he had no idea around, no slight memory or anything. The houses and buildings got bigger, fancier, something Keigo never got to see before being brought in by the commission, but Touya seemed to know exactly where they were. Soon enough they were inside the gates of a large property, a huge house in front of them. Placing Touya down Keigo watched him as he told him not to move, with a nod of confirmation the other rushed off and left Keigo alone in the lawn. 

The home was absolutely gigantic and he couldn’t figure how a family of any size could live in it by themselves. He let himself peer around the vast opening that was the front lawn. His wings flapped some as he went up to the nicely managed tree’s. It was a beautiful home, that was for sure, but Keigo was sure he would feel so lonely in such a place. He would definitely get one like it if he was older and got to share it with kids like himself. Taking a seat on a large branch he let himself hum softly in thought. Could he just take in kids like himself and give them a place to live like the commission had done to him, but give them what they wanted with much less intense training? He could certainly try.

His ears perked up at the sound of thundering footsteps. There was no way that they belonged to the other boys. Panic spiked up to his throat as his eyes shot open wide, shit was he about to be caught? He couldn’t be caught! He still has so much to do! He and Touya have so much to do. As his thoughts overcame him he tapped into his training and pressed his back flat against the tall tree, feathers finding their own spots to hide so his wings wouldn’t be pressed against him uncomfortably.

His eyes sharp he peered through the leaves and they went wide, breath caught. Staring at the face of a man he looked up to for years. Looking at the same scowl that pulled his dad away from his mom that day. The man who, in a chain of reactions, saved him. His eyes had landed on the long time number two hero Endeavor.

The hero didn’t spot him, which was good. Outside his hero costume with his flames died down he still looked absolutely massive and intimidating, even if he wasn’t staring him down. Wheels turned and it suddenly clicked. Touya was Endeavor's son. He really should have known, the intense flames, the hair color, the frown that was at least at first constantly present on his face? He should’ve known, but now he did. He knows, and couldn’t help but suddenly wonder what he meant when he said how his father is such a bastard.

Soon enough the hero was out of his sight and in another room, just as Touya came rushing out with something in his hands and a new set of clothes on. Making a few quick motions to Hawks’ direction that was a taught signal to come down and get him, the bird was quick on sitting up and swooping down to grab him. Zipping off into the night, riding low so it wouldn’t get too cold. Touya was quick to give directions again before any questions were asked.

Hawks took note of the new outfit, something a bit on the “cooler” side he could only suppose. Some t-shirt with a band Hawks couldn’t recognize, a black jacket that was way too large for the frame of him, a beanie large and loose on his head, even different and darker pants, and some shoes that Hawks actually recognized. Converse! Yes, point for Hawks on knowing things that are culturally relevant. A sad game he occasionally plays with himself, yes, but a game nonetheless!

Keigo let out a soft sigh and let his eyes close. He felt great. He felt free. Flying around with someone he actually wanted to be with, doing crazy and stupid shit that he probably really shouldn’t because if their caught it could be all over in an instant, wincing slightly at the intruding thought he reminded himself that no. They wouldn’t. Hawks was trained for this, and the night was just barely getting started. He found himself holding onto the other just the slightest bit tighter, like if he were to let him go he would disappear forever along with whatever it was they were. Technically true midair, but just overall.

As they flew in relative silence the questions burned in the back of his throat revolving his dad, why he was in a program like theirs when the literal number two hero could just train him, what happened. But Keigo knew more than most to not push anyone into thoughts like that, Touya didn’t know much about the person behind Hawks either. Hawks shouldn’t have to know the person behind Cremator. 

The sea of thoughts came to an end as they soon landed in front of a massive building, one that even Hawks could recognize, “A mall?” He questioned the other as he set him down. He would have to sadly admit, that even before being brought in he never went in one, his parents opting for thrift stores and Goodwill, sometimes even just finding something, cleaning it, and sticking with it. As Hawks stood beside Touya the other nodded, a smirk playing on the edges of his lips, “Oh yeah, you think I’m just going to find you clothes that people have already worn down? For tonight? Hell no.”

Hawks tilted his head slightly, like a bird, and looked at the other with wide curious eyes, “How would we pay for anything?” The question made redheads smirk grow, pulling something out of his deep pocket and holding it up. It was a wallet, holy shit was that Endeavors wallet, “With this of course.” Keigo’s eyes only seemed to be peeled back wide and mouth open in pure shock, “That’s-That’s Endeavors wallet,” quickly being cut off Touya pocketed the item, “Correction, my father’s wallet, who does nothing with it except use it to pay his way into his kids hearts.” At the statement Touya seemed agitated at the idea of the man, he didn’t even question how Keigo knew it was specifically Endeavor's wallet.

About to continue his ramblings Hawks cut himself off, Touya needed to be freed too. He had his own perspective on this and Hawks shouldn’t interject. He needed to trust the other enough, to know that he does know what he’s doing. He is his son after all. With his teeth digging into his lower lip he nodded, “Alright,” his voice trailed and the other looked over to him suspiciously, “You know what you’re doing Touya. I’ll follow your lead on this.” 

Letting out a soft puff of air that Keigo could almost consider a chuckle Touya motioned the little bird to follow him, arms up and resting his hands behind his upper back in a relaxed manner, the sounds of feet hitting the asphalt loud in his ears soon mixing with Touya’s words, “Come on in and pick out something to wear, we’re heading somewhere else after this. If you don’t take too long we can probably get something good to eat that isn’t that bland shit that they give us on a daily.” Nodding Keigo smiled, leaning towards the other, “It’s just to keep us on a good diet.” He teased the other with a light elbow knock. With a roll of his eyes Touya looked over to him, “Yeah and when you eat something fried for the first time after years of that stuff, good luck.”

Keigo chuckled at the statement while the other looked away, not seeing the light pink filling his face as the sweet sound escaped the bird again. Quickly composing himself as they got into a well lit area by the doors Touya huffed, “You have any preference for stores or something?” Perking up Keigo bit the tip of his tongue before stating simply, “No. Not at all.” Entering the mall it was as if everything was flipped and Keigo was in an entirely different world. The soft pop music in the background and the much colder air hit his skin, shivering slightly he looked around, the lights practically bled into everything and mannequins with no faces stood showing off whatever clothes were on the rack next to it.

Touya cleared his throat softly as the smaller boy next to him looked around as if he had never been inside a place like a mall before, who knows, maybe he hadn’t, “I’ll take a seat over there,” he pointed to a bench in the store between the shoes and what looked like purses, “Find something you like, there’s no need to rush.” He reassured him even if he sounded a bit grumpy, leaking out from the previous statement from outside, upset about the fact that Keigo just somehow knew it was Endeavors wallet and bringing the man up, but he shouldn’t be a dick about it. Keigo doesn’t know. Either way the little dove needs time by himself, with the commission breathing down his neck way more often than not Touya isn’t sure if he ever had time away from it all. 

Finding himself on the bench that he pointed out to he watched as Keigo slowly moved around the store. Meanwhile soft gold eyes looked around the masses of clothes. There seemed to be clothes for common mutations, surely there must be some for wings right? If there was, Keigo couldn’t find them. His head constantly swiveled as he searched before his eyes finally landed in the area that had what he needed. Walking over quickly, with so much purpose it practically radiated off of him. He noted the extreme lack of people in the store, maybe this was just really late for most people? With a soft hum to himself Keigo stood at the front of the winged section. 

Everything was kind of jumbled together, mens and womens casual wear together rather than separate, more separated by what type of clothing rather than anything else. It was the winged section for casual, formal, swimwear, night time, any other specific differences could be decided by the shopper, including style. His eyes searched, slighting cringing at some of the tighter stuff, with their back openings much more slim which meant more rubbing around his wings. He did notice a one piece that wasn’t for swimming, must keep the clothing looking skin tight without it riding up, Keigo could definitely see the appeal to that, but he would rather go for something loose.

With that thought his eyes landed on a soft looking, extra large black sweater. It wasn’t cold outside but it wasn’t warm either, and in the air the temperatures do drop. He moved over to the rack and looked through them before picking up a medium to see himself in comparison. With it held up to him he didn’t seem to be too drowned in it, quickly slipping it on over his shirt it fit quite nicely. Falling just above his mid thighs, the sleeves going down to his hands, but he did have to adjust the low collar at the front. Taking a look at himself in the mirror he bit the inside of his cheek. His wings looked much brighter and larger with such a contrast to the dark clothing, he didn’t look bad in it. 

Hawks, if you are going to molt tell one of your handlers, it is disgusting and getting out of hand. 

Just like that he wished that his wings were smaller, less bright in color, but he didn’t want to waste Touya’s time. He could just deal with it for the night. Pulling the sweater off his back carefully he held it and then moved to find pants to squeeze into. It didn’t take near as much time to find the expansive section. Full of modified pants on one end and then normal pants on the other. It took some searching but he found another dark article that felt soft and stretchy beneath his fingers, trying it on was nice and it was also warm. He tried on and tested out pairs of pants, a few types of shoes to get the right size. So on and so forth.

Soon he had the sweater, shoes, and pants in hand as he started to head in the area that Touya was waiting for him. His eyes still liked to look around, occasionally being pulled in the direction of something particularly shiny or bright, but he slowed down at the sight of something that couldn’t help but catch his eyes. A woman around the section for makeup, testing out different shades of lipstick, running it across her wrist and when she saw one she liked she swiped at the swatch and applied it lightly to her own lips. Satisfied she grabbed the one she seemed to like and walked off. Leaving the section free and empty of people.

He would be lying if he said he wasn’t at least curious. He remembered his mom and her bright red lipstick. It always looked so beautiful on her when it wasn’t smudged by the opening of a bottle. No, his memories aren’t for her, they’re for him to enjoy not for them to plague. But he was curious, he wanted to feel as beautiful as she used to look, so he stood there debating for a few moments before giving in and slowly walking over. Tightly grasping the clothes in his hands he looked over the many shades of just, everything. Unknown to him the pause caught the attention of his red haired friend, who now watched from afar as the little dove carefully grabbed a testing tube of lipstick and drew a small line on his wrist. Repeating the process carefully with other colors varying in brightness. Watching the others curious eyes almost light up as he lightly applied a few touches to his own lips lit something inside Touya. He already knew it was there, just so much more intense now, his flames wanting to burst beneath the surface in response.

His hand shook lightly as he willed the fire to be quelled before getting up and walking over. Keigo noticed him and seemed to panic slightly, violently rubbing at his lips while the taller boy approached, “Eh, sorry. I got distracted was all and,” his voice trailed off as Touya grabbed his wrist, a frown on his face as he spoke, “If you’re going to be wearing all black you don’t want something so light that it doesn’t match, especially with your wings.” Rubbing his finger along one of the swatches his other hand gently grasped his chin to hold the shorter still, rubbing away any excess around his lips with his thumb before applying the different shade on top and then pulling away once done, “See?”

Following the others pointed finger to the mirror Keigo understood, but realized with bitter embarrassment that he was beet red. Turning back to the other he nodded quick, “Thanks,” he mumbled before clearing his throat, not even noticing the pink returning to Touya’s face because wow, Touya really just did that for him, “I uh, I have the clothes and everything.” Keigo stammered out to the other. Nodding Touya motioned him in the direction to the check out after grabbing the lipstick that Hawks was wearing, “Follow me then pretty bird.”

Walking off Touya cursed himself for following up what he just did with such a bold word choice, but the little dove seemed so flustered. It was incredibly adorable. Standing in line he noticed him staring down some chocolate at the front, huffing out lightly in a chuckle he leaned over to grab it and handed it over to Keigo, he watched him light up slightly and smiled at the offering, taking it gently in his own hand as their fingers touched slightly. Once paid for, Touya waited by the front of the store for Keigo to reappear and when he did his little dove made his breath hitch. He was so small in the large sweater, with him forcing the front of it to tuck in his pants for the ride, meanwhile the pants hugged him far better than the ones they were issued, the addition of the light color to his lips just made him appear so, so soft.

Touya mentally hit himself to stop gawking and relaxed back into himself, “Well pretty bird,” he spoke with a smirk again, letting himself use the new nickname that got him to see Keigo pink in the cheeks with just a simple soft mutter, “Ready for a fun night?”

Chapter Text

The two had to make a few stops before finally heading to their desired location that Touya has been talking about all night, mainly the Todoroki household again to drop off the wallet after raiding out all physical money and taking more from the card via ATM, which Keigo had no idea how the other did, and then a rooftop that would be on their way back to keep their clothes so they wouldn’t be too obviously guilty of sneaking out. The fear of such has been clawing away at Keigo’s insides the entire time, even remaining a bit faded out in the background of his resolve, but he ignored it as best as he could. 

He dissociated in the air as he flew in the direction that Touya pointed out, being pulled back into reality as his eyes spotted a bright light in the distance. Squinting he tried to make out the shapes, going slightly faster now as he had an idea that this was what the other had been planning. Keigo seemed to be right as he spotted the red head smile out of the corner of his eye which was soon followed by an excited chuckle, “There it is Keigo,” his name rolled off his tongue with joy laced into the word, “That’s where we’re going.” As they got closer and more and more shapes started to appear and become clearer it finally clicked, “Is that,” he paused, “A carnival?”

Touya’s smile brightened under the bird, “You know it,” there was a pause as Touya bit the tip of his tongue, “Have you ever been to one?” Keigo had to think back, really think back, if he did he couldn’t remember, “I don’t think so.” The smile on the other's face faltered, but was quickly put back on, “Then I’m happy to be with you for your first.” Keigo wasn’t sure what it was about the wording, but it made his chest feel light and for something to be caught in the back of his throat. Keeping his head on as best as he could, Keigo carefully landed and placed the other down who in turn quickly grabbed Keigo’s hand and pulled him towards the front and into a small line.

Touya turned to the other, a smile on his face as he spoke, “We can grab food last because guessing that you’ve never had any kind of edible treat before I think it’s safe to assume your little bird tummy wouldn’t be able to handle it,” he chuckled and poked at his stomach through the sweater, causing the little dove to turn red next to him, “I have a feeling you might want to start with games, work our way up to the house of mirrors, the rides, bumper cars, and then the funnel cake.”

As he spoke it became clear that the redhead in front of Keigo wasn’t the same redhead he saw in training or battles, no this version of the redhead was genuine, relaxed, and happy. The idea of truly being able to see the other made his shoulders, once tense with alertness in the new surroundings, relax and made him feel soft with a smile of his own appear on his face. He may not understand to the extent that Touya does about this place, but just seeing the other genuinely be himself gave Keigo all that he needed to know.

It was going to be a good night.

Keigo didn’t even realize that Touya still held his hand as they walked up to get their wrist bands for admission, he continued to hold it as the lady put the band on his other wrist, and didn’t let go so he could lead Keigo in. Once his eyes fully took in their surroundings they went wide. Everything was so colorful, scents seemed to be on full blast towards his nose, music played in the background as people with all kinds of quirks walked around with smiles on their faces. Touya’s eyes drank up the sight of Keigo as surprise wrote itself all over his little dove's face, an image he would like to keep in the forefront of his mind for a good while, “You ready?” He asked.

Turning to face the other with an excited smile Keigo nodded, “Yes, more than anything.” The look in his eyes only seemed to fuel Touya, who pulled the other towards some booths in the middle. Causing the birdie to stumble, but was then followed by a giggle which only caused Touya to smile more. It was an endless cycle of good feelings that seemed to be going between the two, and from then on any doubt Keigo had about the night vanished like it never existed at all.

“Okay, this first game is a classic.” He pointed to the booth they were headed to, four seats with water guns at each spot. Keigo could recognize the game from the small amount of media he’s consumed over his lifetime, but he recognized it which only made him smile and let his bubbly personality burst out in a freeing manner, “Alright but you better be prepared to lose!” Keigo shouted and ran forward, pulling Touya behind him and towards the stall. Unknown to him he just about squeezed the red head's heart with the smallest action.

Either way the two now stood at the stall, Touya handing over money for two to the bored teenage worker as Keigo took a seat and he soon followed suit. Smiling, he got ready as the teenager forced themselves to say some cheesy bullshit about the game, followed by a ready, set and go! The two started their round, both determined with a lighthearted playfulness in the air, as Touya took the lead Keigo chuckled before kicking his leg lightly. Seeing the challenge the other presented he was quick to return the kick with more swiftness than the other delivered. This only caused Keigo to let out an offended gasp and lean over to shoulder bump him, “Oh little dove you wound me!” He cried, “But you are far too late for you see I am,” he paused for a moment before some little bell rang out, “The winner.” Touya finished off turning his head to Keigo who wore the most beautiful smile in the moment.

“We have a winner!” The teenager groaned comically, the two turning their heads to him, “What do you want?” They asked Touya who’s eyes quickly ran over the selection before landing on something and quickly pointing it out. Keigo didn’t know what it was. He rather kept his gaze on the other boy next to him who seemed to be having just as much fun. The boy in question quickly cupped his hands around the small prize which suddenly caught the attention of Keigo who raised an eyebrow.

 Twisting his body to face him he cleared his throat and extended his arms forward, opening his hands to reveal a small, yellow, bird plushie, “A little birdie,” he hummed out, “For my pretty bird.” 

Keigo thought he was going to pass out at what the other just told him.

But he didn’t no, he just went bright red as a wobbly smile formed on his face while he carefully took the cheap plush into his hands, “D’aw! I love her,” he paused for a moment as he held the plushie to his chest, “I’m naming her, Ai.” “Ai?” “Mhm!” He jumped up to his feet and twirled around to face away from Touya as he looked down at Ai who rested in his hands. Little does Touya know of the name's meaning.

The red head quickly caught up to the other, “Well I think Ai is a very beautiful name, and I approve of it for our child.” He teased which only made Keigo sputter before letting out a laugh, “Our child? Really?” He snickered back to him, only getting a firm nod back, “Of course, you couldn’t get her without having to at least have me there to beat you.” He threw back at him. Keigo flushed slightly, looking down at the plushie in his hand before nodding, “Yeah, yeah I guess you’re right.” Biting down on his bottom lip he let his mind wander to explore the implications of such a thing, which only made him shake away the thoughts. They weren’t bad per-say, like how they normally are, but they were different and made him feel all kinds of ways that he had no idea how to explain.

Gulping, he forced himself to look up at the other, who looked around for something more to do. Keigo would admit that, yeah, he guess he could say that the other was attractive. His hair was always a mess, but it looked great. His jawline was well defined for someone of their ages, but he could only guess it was a part of the appeal. His eyes always shined brightly, a bright blue similar to his flames- “Like the view?”

Oh, yeah. He could tell just how close to his flames they were in color because he was looking him in the eyes now. He nearly let out a squeak at the horrific realization that he of all people was caught staring, but he could play this off, “Just waiting for you to lead us to the next thing.” He shot back with a smile, but the other only smirked back at him, “Are you sure that there isn’t another reason you were staring?”

He opened his mouth to speak again but quickly closed it as he sniffed the air lightly. Something smelled good. Like really, really good and Keigo nearly darted off in their direction of the smell. But he forced himself to stay still, eyeing Touya hopefully now, “I know you said food last, but something smells really really good, can we go get some?” He asked with the biggest eyes he could muster, clutching poor Ai tightly as he looked up at him.

Touya really couldn’t make himself say no to that face, the way that the adorable little bird looked at him just made him absolutely weak. Sighing he brought his arms up to rest behind his head and shoulders, “Fine, we can eat and get on the ferris wheel, because I can only assume you’ve never been on one, and that is an absolute crime.” Keigo let out a chuckle as Touya redirected their route to where the smell was coming from, “Then you can call me a villain.” He spoke playfully, which Touya only seemed to rebuttal easily, “Only because you stole my heart.”

The silence was suddenly thick because sweet goodness, Touya actually said that. But you’d have to give some kind of respect to these two for being able to beat around the incredibly obvious bush for so long, Keigo keeping up the absolutely ridiculous game by ignoring the line and instead lifted his nose up to the air slightly and heading off in the direction of the smell at a faster pace. Touya quickly followed behind him.

Soon enough the two found themselves at a chicken specialty booth. Their biggest seller of course was fried chicken, and while Keigo was interested there was something else he had his eyes on that the booth had for sale. Touya hummed as he looked towards the booth, “You want to give fried chicken a whirl? Isn’t that basically cannibalism?” He chuckled, but Keigo had a bit of a far off gaze. As if he was thinking about something important before asking Touya a question, still looking forward to the booth, “Yeah, but Touya?” He gulped as Keigo spoke in a nervous tone, “Yeah?”

“Would you,” his voice was so small, “Would you also get me the uh, the raw chicken?”

He spoke as if he shouldn’t even imagine saying them, “It’s just that, raw meat is better for me, and I haven’t been able to have any since being taken in, and I don’t know if I’ll get a chance like this again, and I’m so sorry if this is weird-” Keigo’s panicked voice was quickly cut off by a gentle, “Of course.” A moment passed, “And Keigo?” The little bird turned to him with the large eyes, full of surprise and maybe a bit of worry. 

“It’s not weird at all.” A smile bloomed on the blonde’s face. Gentle and small. Touya reached down and took Keigo’s hand in his again as they went up to the dealer. Doing a half order of fried chicken and a half order of raw chicken. While Touya ordered the other squeezed his hand happily, a small chirp nearly flew past his lips as the strange feeling grew in his chest. Then when Touya squeezed his hand in return a very small one did manage to find its way out in the open.

Touya didn’t say anything about it, just gathered their food and handed Keigo the plate of raw chicken with a fried leg being put next to the raw leg and breast, while the red head kept the fried breast, just dumping the plate so he could eat on the go with the napkins stuffed in his pocket, “C’mon, the line for the ferris wheel is always extremely slow and far too long for being as boring as it is.” Keigo hummed in thought, “Well we’re going to it aren’t we?”

Chuckling the other took a bite of the breaded meat, “Oh, pretty birdie got the beauty and the brains.” The blatant flirting was surely going to kill said birdie at some point, he was sure of it, but he ignored the feelings it caused him as they went to stand in the obnoxious line for the ride. Touya was right, this was going to take a while, luckily Keigo had plenty of chicken to eat in the meantime. 

They were getting pretty close to the front by the time he finished, sending one of his feathers with the trash before snatching a napkin from Touya to wipe away any leftover juices on his hands and then throwing those away too. Touya watched as the other cleaned up and bit into his lip, taking a moment for himself to think before the words flowed out to speak, “You said that you haven’t had raw meat in a long time?” It was more of a question than anything.

Keigo seemed to melt into himself a bit sheepishly before rubbing the back of his neck, scratching at the base as if he were trying to distract himself from what was going to come up, “Yeah it’s just, you know, one of the things they don’t want me doing. It doesn’t exactly fit the whole hero image I guess. I mean-I, they get you know, Gang Orca and heroes like him who seem different or have different diets, but it isn’t quite what they want?” He explained, indirectly asking if Touya knew what he meant without having to say it. He did. Touya nodded and his eyes glanced to the ground, “It’s not a poster perfect hero trait basically.” Hawks nodded softly, trying not to let it get to him, but even still his voice came out soft, sad, “Yeah.”

Touya gulped, hoping that this wouldn’t ruin their night. Looking up to the other curiously he raised a brow, “Are there, any other traits? You know, that they don’t want you to show?” Hawks was suddenly building himself back up, taken up from the shelf and slowly being placed back on to take whatever damage might come from this, “Yeah, a few,” he looked down to his feet, clearing his throat to get himself ready.

“I uhm, perch sometimes? They uh, said it got creepy,” He shrugged, “And that the chirping was annoying,” Biting into his cheek he continued, “The molting is gross and such.” Gulping he got the small ones out of the way, now time for the worse ones, not noticing Touya’s pained expression, “I actually have pretty, rough? Yeah, rough feet, and my nails grow pretty fast.” He continued, Touya nodded and took a moment for himself to think and it hit him how he’s never seen the other’s feet. Not something someone would normally notice, but he would occasionally notice how the other always seemed to be wearing socks. He just always assumed he was cold. He wouldn’t think that the Commission had ended up pushing him so far that he kept himself hidden from his own roommate. The thought only made the reality much more sour than it already was, but he didn’t let the slowly rising anger show. Instead he continued to listen, because it was obvious that the other needed him to.

“I uh, I actually don’t worry about these too much, but they always tell me how I need to keep them the way that they are.” He lifted up his hand and spread his fingers to show the small tips of something poking through his skin, before he flexed his hand and talons shot out, “They said that I was lucky that they resemble cats claws more, than having talons be my actual hand,” he bit down on the inside of his cheek again and let the sharp talons fall back into their resting place, back to being hidden, “I guess that’s what happens when you combine them with a human hand.”

By this point they were finally being led into the little box like ferris wheel seat that swayed slightly as they stepped in. Keigo could have gone and sat on the other side but instead he chose to sit by Touya as he continued to speak once the carnival aid got them in and moved so that the next person could get in the next seat. Leaving the two of them alone, “In fact one of my handlers really wants me to cover my eye markings, but that the issue would be me having to use makeup,” but not the fact that it would smear? Touya’s inner turmoil hissed out, “He said that the eye markings make me look like a,” he paused to think, “Oh, right. A fa-” “Don’t you dare finish that sentence.” Touya hissed out to him, anger having boiled over, and only now letting Hawks realize that he was smoking.

But before Keigo could say anything the red head grabbed his hands and squeezed them tightly, “If anyone ever calls you a fag, or a faggot, or anything like that, tell me. Tell me immediately. I will not stand for anyone to tell my little dove that he is anything but beautiful in every sense of the goddamn word. Even if it’s one of those handlers that mean absolutely jackshit in real life.” He huffed out, eyes locked for a moment longer before he closed them again in frustration.

When they opened again the smoke was gone, as was the anger, eyes only showing pity. The only person he would probably ever accept pity from. He squeezed his hands softly and he offered him a desperate smile. His right hand coming up to cup his cheek, “Keigo. You are the most beautiful and amazing person I have ever met. Those flaws they point out to you mean nothing, because it’s only a flaw to them, but not anyone else. They make you, you. They make you unique,” Keigo couldn’t stop the sudden tears that sprung from his eyes, only to be wiped away by Touya’s thumb for a second time that night, “They make you beautiful. And I can promise you that it does, because I still find you beautiful. Raw meat, talons, and all! All of you is beautiful. Completely and utterly beautiful .” His words were filled with desperation for Keigo to understand what he saw, and such a genuine touch in them only made the tears flow more freely, a quiet sob forcing its way out. A second hand raised itself to hold the other side of his face as Touya pressed their foreheads together.

They were at the top of the ferris wheel as more people still climbed in, but Hawks couldn’t care, couldn’t even bother to look around. No, as their foreheads pressed together he could only lift his eyes enough to look at Touya. His eyes were closed, but everything was written on his face. How he felt about everything. How he felt about him. Keigo wanted to be selfish in the moment. He wanted to indulge in something he had always been told to never do. He wanted to do something that was basically forbidden for him for so long, and will continue on for probably much longer, but he held himself back. He couldn’t, he shouldn’t just take it.

But then Touya opened his bright eyes, gold stared into blue and blue stared into gold. For just a mere moment before Keigo couldn’t do it anymore, finding himself pushing forward just a little for their lips to press together softly. Eyes squeezing shut as their faces touched in such a manner Keigo was only able to imagine it before this night.

But then he realized how big of a mistake he just made. Quickly pulling back, eyes wide with fear, fear that punishment was coming because he was selfish for once, that he took something that he wanted, “Fuck-Fuck I’m so so so sorry, I didn’t mean too, I just-I mean, uh-I. Fuck, Touya-” The other only raised his hands up in a sort of mock surrender before smiling at him calmly, “It’s okay pretty bird. It’s okay.” Keigo’s eyes darted around, “It, it is?” He asked, earning a nod from the other, “Yeah and plus, I,” he shrugged, a familiar kind of pink returned to his face, “I kind of liked it too.”

Shock ran through Keigo as he looked up to the other, “You, you did?” Another nod was sent his way. Biting down on his bottom lip he looked out of the small cage of a seat they were in, but ironically he hadn't felt so free in so long, especially knowing that he had the full ability to ask what he was about to ask. His voice was quiet, barely audible as his eyes remained on the ground, “Can I,” another pause, because goddamn are words hard for him at the moment, “Can I do it again then?”

His eyes went up to look at Touya again, a worried glance meeting a shocked expression, which only seemed to melt into a flustered one with a small smile, “Yeah.” Touya’s own words were soft in return, almost as if he was also shy to respond. Which Keigo could hardly imagine considering what a blatant flirt he had been all night.

Straightening his back Keigo sat up, keeping his eyes on Touya as if he would disappear the moment he looked away, pausing as he leaned forward an inch or two, “Fuck, I think I made this awkward.” The chuckle seemed to roll out of Touya lightly, only making Keigo relax. Giving the redhead an easier opening to be the one to move in and press his own lips to the others gently, hand finding it’s spot on his cheek once again. There was a pause in movements from Keigo before he finally moved to rest his hands behind Touyas head, hands gently grasping his hair.

It was a soft moment. Keigo’s first, well, now second kiss, and everything for once felt right. With Touya everything felt right, in the little cage of the ride he felt so happy. Touya felt so warm, he was naturally cold, but maybe the flustered night was starting to get to him too. His face was a cute pink color and he held him so carefully. The chill in the night air nipped at his hands but the heat Touya practically radiated melted it all away. It melted through Keigo straight into his heart.

Wait.

Why is it gone?

Keigo groaned softly in frustration as he struggled to open his eyes.

The warmth was gone.

The pressure in front of him was gone.

With a gasp his eyes shot open. He was in a cold sweat and back in his room that the Commission kept him and Touya in. Touya. Touya! He shot up, looking to the right only to his horror find an empty and messy bed. Scrambling to get up he took note of how the room was still dark. It was either late night or an early morning, probably the latter with how groggy he was. He rushed to the bathroom door to see if maybe the other was in there before stopping right in front of the small extra room, fear racing through him as a loud and pained scream rang from far outside the thick metal door.

Letting out a panicked chirp he was quick to rush over and pull it open, only to find it locked. It could only be locked one way which meant whatever was happening they didn’t want him there. But rules were made for him to break in this one moment. Someone was screaming. Someone needed to be saved. Touya needed to be saved, and for once it wasn’t Hawks who was going to save him.

Before rushing in head first he put his mind to the test, squeezing a few feathers between the tiniest openings in the door and using as much concentration as needed to unlock it. It was taking too long. He was taking too long. He was being too slow. 

Those thoughts fled from his mind at the soft pop. The door was unlocked. He quickly yanked it open and sped down the hallway, flapping his wings twice as he raced down the corridor. Struggling to stay focused as anxiety wretched him from the inside out, he listened closely to follow the screams. Rushing down short hallways and some of the longest he’s ever been down he finally found himself at their gym doors, kicking them in, the doors slamming against the wall as he flew in. Only to pause midair in fear as he looked to the sight before him.

Fire was eating up most of the expansive gym, including several handlers, the ones that weren't burning were trying to talk to Hawks at the moment. One handler in particular seemed beaten up and bloodied, but most of the blood wasn’t his own. No, but Keigo’s eyes couldn’t tear away from the true nightmare of the situation. Touya laying on the ground, fire on him slowly dying out as he remained perfectly still. A voice so broken he couldn’t recognize it as his own floated in the smoke filled air, “Touya?”

He wasn’t fast enough.

“Touya!” He cried out, racing down from his spot in the air down to the ground, holding the burnt redhead in his arms. Tears running down his face as his skin burned at the mere contact where his flames once were, pulling him into a hug.

He wasn’t fast enough. 

“Hawks!” One of the handlers cried out, voice filled with fury, “Leave the body this instance! You shouldn’t be in here!” The man's voice only made Keigo furious, but his voice was calm as he spoke out, “How.” Thundering footsteps could be heard as the much older man approached him from behind, “I said, leave the body now!” He yelled again, grabbing his shoulder. Keigo could only see red.

He wasn’t fast enough.

He didn’t mean to. He doesn’t think so at least. As his shoulder was roughly grabbed his wings extended backwards, sharpening each feather as he impaled the man who even tried to tear him away from Touya. Flinging the newly made corpse to the side before relaxing his wings and looking down at Touya’s face, most of it gone now which only made Keigo’s eyes fill with tears.

He wasn’t fast enough.

There was more screaming, more yelling directed at him and he was absolutely furious. Couldn’t they see what they did to Touya? Touya who was nice. Touya who was sweet. Touya who cared about him in every aspect including all of his flaws. How could they not see what they did? In a moment of unparalleled anger sharpened feathers dispersed and were flung in random directions. Some catching clothing. Some catching flesh. They all pushed the handlers back to the walls. He couldn’t stop the tears flowing from his face.

He wasn’t fast enough.

One of the assholes pinned to a nearby wall, groaned out to him, “He had no control,” the handler’s eyes squeezed shut in pain, “He tried to run-” Hawks cut him off, “He wanted to run. There is a fucking difference you idiot.” His voice cracked as he pulled the other close to him. The smell of burnt flesh hit his nose as he buried his head into Touya’s shoulder. Sobbing out softly.

He wasn’t fast enough.

Rule Six: Under any unfortunate circumstances should a member of the GT Program lose the ability to control, or possess their quirk; to protect private information of the government the member would need to be terminated. 

Rule Seven: Abandonment shall not be tolerated in any form, the members in question will be terminated under title of Deserter. 

His sobs became louder. They were looking for a reason to get rid of him, they were looking for a reason to kill him. It just so happens that Keigo gave them that perfect opportunity. He should have kept Hawks by his side instead that day.

He wasn’t fast enough.

Suddenly he wasn’t in the fire covered gym anymore. No, now he sat in the cafeteria, the same bland food as always sat in front of him. He refused to touch it. Eyes staring at something that wasn’t there, glazed over as he just stared at the opposing wall. They had been trying to force him to eat, but he always refused to do so after Touya. After what he saw them do. By this point he would pass out during training so they would take him to the nurses. They would try to force him to eat. He refused. They hooked him up to some machines. They sent him back out. The cycle continued. 

He wasn’t fast enough.

It got so bad that at some point he was basically on his deathbed, but then something happened. Another student in his unit was found hanging in his room, too convinced that what happened to Touya would happen to them. After that they bribed him using raw meat to eat. He gave in, only because he was far too hurt to handle being empty in more than one way, but would sometimes find himself over a toilet in tears after eating. Feeling like he shouldn’t have the right to when Touya should have been there with them. The Commission knew, but never helped.

He wasn’t fast enough.

He remembered one day as he ate that he made an oath to himself. He would push himself, be the best that he could be, to be the best hero there was at his trademark speed. So that no one else would end up like him. So that no one else ended up like Touya. Because in the end aren’t they just kids?

He wasn’t fast enough.

The memory popped as Hawks opened his eyes to a familiar ceiling, the one in his bedroom at his condo. A dream, a memory. That’s all it was. Sure the tears rushing down his face was a burning reminder of how real it all was at some point. Some point. Not anymore. He reminded himself. Touya did die that day, because he sure as hell isn’t Dabi.

Getting up was hard, but he forced himself too. His back was still light with the lack of feathers. He didn’t lose his wings permanently but he did need to let them continue molting, replacing weak feathers with stronger ones as he healed. He wasn’t able to fly again yet but he could use them to help with his morning routine. On shaking legs he stood and made his way to the kitchen as his feathers were already flying around, doing several things at once from making breakfast, coffee, and a few were sent out to collect mail considering he did not feel like leaving his own little corner of the world at the moment. His eyes watched the feathers do their work, making sure he wasn’t messing anything up and to keep an eye on how well they reacted to him.

That was until the mail came, already sure that his feathers were strong enough to keep up, even more so as he let the ones for the mail rest back onto his small wings. Now he turned to the mail, mostly junk of course. Mostly. But he paused at a certain piece. A bright yellow envelope, written on it was the classic, “To: Mr. Hawks, From: Eri, Aizawa, and Hizashi” He couldn’t help but pause to look at the thing with a bit of curiosity and worry. There was so much wobbly concentration in each letter that he was sure that the little girl had help from the other two, that or it was fake.

He heard about Eri and what she went through, each time he thought about her he would cringe at any of the slightly familiar memories that forced themselves to surface. Also he always cursed himself for never being there for that particular mission, he would have done anything for anyone in that situation, like he was when he was younger. Like he needed when he was younger. But that was enough contemplating over what had happened. As more feathers settled back down after setting his coffee down next to him. Carefully he let out his talons to cut through the top, letting them sink back in as he pulled out the equally bright, hand crafted letter, “You’re invited!” On the front while also brandishing small drawings a child obviously drew. Narrowing his eyes he opened the card.

One side was in the same writing while the right side was obviously written by an adult. The child side, with the same wobbly concentrated letters wrote, “You are invited to the party for heroes after the most recent mission! Hope to see you there!” Along with a time and place. He couldn’t help but smile, it was obvious that the kid probably had to go through some trial and error to get that down. Then he turned his attention to the explanation, “After Present Mic and I got home from the raid Eri had insisted we invite heroes and students alike to a get together, mainly because she sees that they are fun in the shows she watches and want’s fellow heroes to experience the same thing. We hope to see you there, and if needed the attire is whatever you want, or casual.”

He snorted softly, the classic Aizawa, “I don’t care” attitude leaked out on the paper. A plate was set down in front of him, a sudden wave of heaviness rolled over him as the distractions from the dream were finally done with. Sighing out he sent out a few feathers to grab his phone. Punching into his contacts, pressing one, and then turning on the speaker while he focused on taking a bite out of the fried egg on toast.

“Hello?” A voice rang out, mouth full he let his “casual” self roll on as he spoke, “Sup bitch. I’m not dead.” A snort rang from the other side, “Well finally you call!” He swallowed and hummed, “Good to hear you too Rumi.” He took another loud, audible bite as she spoke, “So what’s with the call? So late in the morning too! It’s almost eight! You normally rise with the sun!” He hummed and wiped his face as a few feathers picked up the letter to let him get another look, “It’s the rooster in me, can’t help it. And uh, did you get a letter from Eri and Aizawa?” 

Rumi just seemed to make a sound in acknowledgement, “Oh that? Yeah I called him just to make sure too! It’s legit and really adorable, you gotta admit.” “Mhmmm.” He dragged out going over the card again as he continued to eat, “I even got to talk to Eri, sweet little thing is so shy!” Rumi squealed over the phone before pausing, “Are you going?” Of course the question would come up, but in all honesty Hawks wasn’t sure yet, “Probably,” he said, “Not too sure yet.”

There was another sound of acknowledgement before a pause, which only made his gut twist with worry, “Well whether you go or not I should probably tell you this.” Hawks stopped eating and set down his food, suddenly not hungry anymore, “Well c’mon spit it out then, rip that band aid off.” He took in a deep breath, not really sure what else could have been revealed about him that they haven’t yet.

“Well there was a second meeting, they didn’t want you there because well, it was everything you already knew and well, they didn’t want you to freak out or anything.” He remained silent, letting her continue, “They told us who Dabi is.”

Hawks paused, who he is? Cremator? He was sure that they explained that Dabi was Cremator while he was zoned out at the first meeting, but then it hit him hard, like he was being grounded into the flooring again, “You mean,” his voice trailed off, so she picked up, “Touya Todoroki? Yeah,” A moment passed, “Mainly how he passed. The accident.” She sighed softly as Hawks felt everything crumble at the mere mention of it. Of course they can’t even tell them the fucking truth, they didn’t want him there because he would . His dream replayed suddenly in his mind, forcing the thought out of his head. She spoke up again, trying to change the subject “And how you two really were roommates, close friends,” that was an understatement, “How you two had special moves you would do whenever you were paired together in sparring fights.” She continued, “I had, no idea about you two being that close.” 

Hawks had to bite back the crack that threatened to jump out of his voice, “Yeah, guess we really were.” There was another gut wrenching pause before Mirko spoke up again, “Listen, if you ever want to talk about it-” he cut her off sharply, “I’m sorry but I have to go.” “Wait-” “Bye Rumi, love you.” He couldn’t hide the cracks in his voice that time. His breathing picked up before he even got the chance to hit hang up and practically slam his phone down on the table. His elbows propped up on the edge as his head rested in his hands, tears already escaping his eyes except now he doesn’t have anyone to wipe them away.

The sob ripped through him as the memory replayed again and again. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t keep doing this, it hurt far too much. He wished that they killed him along with Touya that day. Then he wouldn’t have to be here. Keep forcing himself to do this, to continue on like this. He wanted out.

Forcing himself up onto his legs as they shook he walked through the kitchen, passing the silverware drawer, and the large knives that rested in the block. Heading straight to the bathroom, throwing open the door and immediately came face to face with his reflection. He looked sickly pale, making the contrast between his skin and the light scarring on his face so much more noticeable. They were able to get most of the markings off with some seriously special kind of healing quick, but it was so bad that they couldn’t get it all.

Blue flames burn the hottest Hawks. So don’t get caught in the crossfires.

He nearly threw up his breakfast at the voice of the president in his head. When he was first given the mission. Grabbing at the door frame with his right hand and reaching for the counter with his left he forced himself to stand in front of the mirror, heaving in deep breaths as he stared down. Tear corrupting his vision, hands slamming on the counter. Searching, searching, searching, and then his hand landed on the familiar little bottle. Brought into his view the orange bottle was so bright against his skin. It was for anxiety, he had plenty more of all the other fucked up things the commission gave him second hand. It was a strong medication too.

Popping it open he paused, chest moving rapidly as he rushed air into his lungs, sinking down to his knees. Was he really going to do this? Could he really do this now? Like this? Forcing the cap back on he threw the bottle into the wall harshly with a yell of frustration leaving him. He felt tired. He felt alone. Sitting back he extended his legs forward instead of under him. Hugging himself as he closed his eyes. Just letting himself imagine for once. Imagine.

His mind going back to the letter that rested on his table.

Imagine.

Maybe in another life Touya would have been going with him to that.

Imagine.

Chapter Text

What was he doing? Walking into a den of lions? Probably. The basket in his hand felt so much heavier than when he first walked out of the condo with it. All kinds of apples in different shades, some caramel dipped or chocolate covered. He heard that the little Eri girl liked apples so he only thought it would be nice, with her being the one wanting to set up this get together for the heroes. Other things like eye drops, and a sleeping mask with meow written on top had found their ways into the basket of goodies as well, this whole thing wouldn’t have been possible without the help from Aizawa anyway.

But now that he was actually walking to the home everything felt heavy, his mind running through everything at once because well, he was trained to do so. Hawks could only assume the things that the Commission spoon fed the other heroes, how many of them were probably lies. They revealed him to be Touya Todoroki. Son of the number one hero, while Hawks to them now, he was just a broken number two at best. The whole thing was a mess for anyone in it, but the biggest thing that they didn’t want was for his death to be related back to the Commission.

“Mainly how he passed. The accident.”

The words rang through his head and he almost swiveled on his feet then and there to head home. Even with his cheerful hello she was quick to go gloomy. That wasn’t a good sign for him. For all he knew they managed to twist everything and point every finger his way. At the rate his wings were healing Rule Six might need to be enacted and they wouldn’t want too many people missing him. He shook those thoughts away. Endeavor was still number one and they still had to cover his own truth, maybe that was why.

He suddenly found himself facing the door. He didn’t know who exactly they invited but he could only have an idea. He was a little late, fashionably late, he reminded himself. Taking in a shaky breath he raised an equally shaky hand. One exhale later and suddenly any visible cracks were covered with an easy going and casual smile. He was still Hawks after all. Then he knocked a little beat and waited, basket in hand.

The door opened slowly and he took a moment to realize he was just looking at the inside of the house before looking down, and by Gods his heart melted on the spot. A young girl, seven or eight at most, was looking up at him with large timid eyes. They looked so familiar to ones he would wear at that age. Ones that the Commission forced him to cover. Ones that he would protect with his life now, because he could see so much of himself in them. He blinked and smiled a gentle smile, one he wore specifically for kids who had it rough. Waving softly he spoke, “You are Eri correct?” he carefully extended his gloved hand to her, slowly so she could see it clearly, “I’m Hawks! I got an invitation from you for a party, yes?”

The small girl took his hand to shake carefully before taking back her hand, “Yes, I’m Eri, and yes there is a party.” She spoke mustering as much excitement in her voice as she could muster. Moving over to open the door to let him inside, “Papa saw you through the bell and said to let you in.” She pointed out as kids do. He nodded and took a step inside, her wide eyes following the basket in hand. Humming he nodded down to it, “It’s a small thanks for inviting me. Tokoyami told me that you enjoy apples, I hope he was correct.”

Eri became a bit bashful before nodding, not saying anything in return. He slid off his shoes; forcing himself to not turn around while claiming he forgot something and never returning. The amount of shoes up at the front was his only warning of how absolutely screwed over he was, but he refused to show the little girl any signs that he wanted out of this situation. If he didn’t show it was a weakness. If he showed and cracked under pressure it was a weakness. If he showed anything more than what he wanted them to see it was a weakness. 

He is not a weakness. 

Offering a lazy smile he followed Eri into the house. Down the small hall, with modern openings to show off the area for the living room to the left, which presented several UA students having an intense Just Dance battle, with the explosive blonde, who reminded Hawks of Mirko, going absolutely nuts with his movements and seemingly getting perfect hits each time. The redhead dancing against him just seemed to laugh and go along with it. He wished he and his redhead were doing that. He forced his eyes to take in more, to distract him from the intrusive thought. He spotted Tokoyami, and that finger destroyer kid, they seemed to be having a small conversation over something.

Rounding the corner with Eri they cut behind the open space between the living room through another short hallway to a much larger area with his real problem. The kitchen and the dinning room, paired into one only cut by counters that you could talk to people on the other side if they rested on the small bar ledge. The house itself was cozy and well lived in, but it had a surprising amount of space. Heroes engrossed with conversations, and others more focused on their drinks.

A few noticed his quiet entrance.

A few threw some glares his way.

This was no way to say hi to your colleagues after having everything tragic revealed about you to them.

Hawks was quick to avert his eyes and keep his head low, just seemingly offering Eri more attention as she led him straight to Aizawa. The older man had his hair tied back and relaxed in clothes that some people would just sleep in. Hawks couldn’t blame him. Offering the man a smile he held up the basket, “I hope you don’t mind but I brought a bit of a house party gift, found a few things for you too!”

Aizawa just seemed to nod and let out a gruff sound of acknowledgement, keeping everything as if it were the same with Eri around, “You can just place it on the counter.” He spoke bluntly, refusing to let the small girl who’s already been through a lifetime of trauma and bad days, see him with his guard down so he wouldn’t alert her. Perfect.

Nodding Hawks walked over and placed it down, Eri’s large eyes again eyeing the basket, Hawks hummed, “Can she have one now or does she have to wait?” he asked simply. Aizawa’s eyes flickered between Hawks, Eri, and then the basket before sighing, “Not one of the caramel ones yet, those are only right before bed.” A gentle hand found its way to her head as he ruffled her hair, getting them to see a small smile. Feeling a want of something similar to be reflected onto him by someone different, Hawks was quick to turn himself to the basket, pulling out a large apple and handing it over with a beaming smile. The girl took it happily and made her way to the sink to wash it.

His eyes followed her and a smile of his own found a way to his face, even if a bit of sadness was hinted at. Leaning back on the counter he couldn’t help but imagine if maybe that’s what he would have looked like at that age without everything that happened to him. Maybe.

“She’s a sweet kid,” Aizawa spoke in a hushed tone next to him, obviously not wanting anyone else to hear, “She’ll probably end up talking about you for the next few days. When she first saw you on TV she seemed to really be,” a pause, “entranced.” Must be that silent connection between people who saw too much of the world's ugliness as kids. He wouldn’t say that out loud of course, instead nodding, “Must have been the wings.” Hawks spoke back with a light hum. Still not looking in Aizawa’s way, or any other heroes in particular. A small silence formed between the two. It was nice.

“Drinks are in the cooler in the dining room.” The older man mumbled after taking a sip from his cup in hand, Hawks turned around to peer over, said cooler had a group idly chatting beside it. Hawks would rather not chance it and get too close to the lions that were willing to rip him limb from limb, “I’m not thirsty.” He was, but the other seemed to buy it. Seemed to. Letting out a yawn, Aizawa looked ahead, covering his mouth while doing so. Back to silence they went.

He remained where he was, leaning on the counter, rather comfortable given his current situation. Some were upset with him, others obviously pitied him, some just saw him as a kid who bit off more than he could chew. It wasn’t like it was his fault anyway, but that didn’t stop him from blaming himself. Now though, he hated every moment of it, he had to show them that it didn’t affect him. That he was still Hawks. He’s not Keigo Takami, he hasn’t been Keigo in a long time and he wasn’t going to give these people the right just because they wanted to know. None of them actually ever showed a sliver of concern for him until now.

 He’d much rather be the arrogant kid to them rather than be the hero who had no choice.

He bit down any negative emotions that made their way out as he steeled himself for the question he was going to ask Aizawa, the hero he had to worry the most because of how easily the man saw right through him, “So I hear that there was a meeting that I wasn’t invited to.” In his peripheral vision Hawks saw the man tense slightly under the baggy clothes, “Yeah, yeah we did.” He took a sip before continuing, “I’m sure you know over what.”

Hawks let out a soft chuckle at the statement, “I would sure hope so,” he kept his tone smooth, even, but underneath he just wanted to scream, “All about Touya right?” Hawks piped up, “Mirko said that you guys talked about his passing.” His voice was soft. Hawks was upbeat or steady in all situations, but he wasn’t heartless and he had to let that show. He watched as Eraserhead paused, looking over his way under hooded tired eyes, “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want Hawks, I understand that it wouldn’t be something easy to think back to.” 

Hawks remained silent for a moment before speaking up, “It’s alright, really. I haven’t really talked about it with anyone. Yet everyone says that’s healthy to do.” He let out an awkward sigh, his shoulders sagged a little. He couldn’t seem heartless, but Hawks would admit that he was incredibly nervous to let some of his genuine emotions be present, even if it is only for show. He had to be careful not to let too much go.

“But you don’t have to open up here if you don’t want Hawks,” an unsaid addition of, “There is a time and place for this kind of stuff.” was probably at the tip of the underground heroes tongue. Nodding to the other he let himself finally face the other fully, “I know, I’m just curious about what you all know now,” He expressed, wanting to know how much they lied about him , “I guess I just want to hear someone else say it all, remind me that it’s real.” Highlight the differences from then and now. Tell Hawks that Touya isn’t with him anymore. Tell him that he keeps referring to the incident as Touya’s passing because he is not Dabi. 

Biting at the inside of his cheek the older man eyed him, suddenly being reminded of how young the hero in front of him is while they looked at eachother. Aizawa wasn’t sure what to say next. Avoid the conversation entirely and direct it somewhere else, or use this one of likely very few chances to talk to him. He wasn’t an idiot, once he saw the person behind the mask he couldn’t help but see a broken kid that looked so familiar to mirrors when he was younger, “We can go to a separate room.” He offered.

“We can talk here.” The winged hero countered.

He desperately wanted Aizawa to think that he was okay, and Aizawa desperately wanted him to know that he knows he isn’t. 

Silently cursing himself at the situation he was being put in, and that he let himself follow the path Hawks laid out for him. Looking back down to his drink he wondered if he would be able to manage to look Hawks in the eyes again after this, “Touya was a promising kid,” He started and Hawks nearly let himself go at the mere mention of the other again, but he was Hawks, he wouldn’t crack just hearing the name of someone who was gone, “They said he didn’t have much control over his quirk, and that his body didn’t help.” The voice was gruff, low, and drowned underneath the chatter of heroes around them. The heroes avoiding Hawks.

“When they caught wind of this from Endeavor they offered to take him in and help so it wouldn’t kill him in the end,” he paused and Hawks knew exactly why, they scammed the number two hero at the time out of his own son, unsaid because it didn’t have to be out in the air to be understood, “Put him with you because you were their most promising in social situations and they wanted you to help him open up.” That much was mostly true. They wanted Hawks to get the other to calm down, fix his behavior issues and disobedience. To make him compliant. 

“They then explained what happened the last week he was there.” Aizawa continued, still staring down at his cup, “How you two snuck out, got caught on their security system and such. Then how they decided to come up with a form of, disciplining,” he said the word like he somehow knew that what they told them isn’t true, “How they came to the conclusion that he needed remedial classes, and lost control of his fire. You managed to come in and it startled him, which caused the flames to increase and,” his sentence went off into silence from there.

Blood boiled in Hawks veins as he paraphrased what the Commission told him, a light glaze forming in his eyes from frustration. They actually fucking pinned it on me. He couldn’t help but think furiously, teeth grit as reality flashed behind his eyes. He didn’t realize it but the arm that cradled Touya in his final moments shook softly while his other hand gripped the counter. What made it worse was the fact that apparently so many heroes believed them. Of course they would, who else is there to tell them?

“Hawks.”

He snapped out of his silent fury at the voice of the other man, turning his head to him fully with wide eyes. It wasn’t the first time he called out to him, which Hawks could only tell as a few other heroes glanced his way. A surprisingly gentle hand found a spot on his shaking arm which he stilled quickly, “Do you need to go to another room?”

His talons nearly broke out in seething anger at the question. One filled with pity. One that Hawks saw as the other treating him like a child. One that Hawks would consider to be a response to weakness. Then as if a switch was flipped he stilled everything and remained, calm. Speaking though he couldn’t help but let some of that weakness out on accident, “No. I’m fine, just upset I guess,” he bit his tongue but it lashed out anyway, “I wouldn’t be though, if what you just told me was the truth.” His voice was quiet to ensure that only he heard him. With a sigh the other seemed to deflate after a minute of processing what Hawks just said, as he was reminded that the Commission didn’t mind spreading a few lies or half truths in order to save their own hide. 

Hawks watched him carefully, Aizawa’s voice was caught in his throat as he thought, before finally pushing it out with a soft, “Then how?” Looking up at him as he spoke, “I can’t say.” Hawks said back simply, “You either won’t believe or won’t want to believe me.” His eyes flickered down to the ground, “I’m going to get a drink.”

Hawks was suddenly much more willing to face the lions now that he spoke to their own hunter. Pushing himself up from the counter he made his way into the kitchen area, weaving through the small groups to find the path to the cooler. Which now had Fatgum and Mt. Lady speaking next to it, he was obviously doing his best to get an understanding of who all the heroes are that have been debuting. He didn’t feel too nervous around the man, he looked and acted like a giant teddy bear most of the time who was incredibly understanding. He would probably be a lot like Aizawa in how he would treat him, but lacked the experiences that the underground hero had that helped him see right through Hawks persona.

Taking notice of him his eyes seemed to get impossibly larger for a split second before relaxing, “Hawks! Happy to see you here too!” Hawks offered the much larger man an easy going smile in return, letting his shoulders lower, eased of any visible tension. Just as expected, he’s more concerned rather than angry, “Happy to be here Fatgum,” he hummed, turning to Mt. Lady with the same easy going smile, “Same goes to you.” Her arms were crossed, but her features were relaxed. She was on the fence, but seemed to be closer to the side of pity more than anything.

“So what brings you to this side of the party?” Fatgum asked with an eased smile, as if to ensure that Hawks would be alright. Hawks hated it, but didn’t let it show, “The drinks.” He pointed to the cooler behind them. The older man seemed to make an ‘o’ shape with his mouth and moved off to the side sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck, “Sorry about that! Didn’t realize that I was in the way.” While he spoke Hawks moved forward and kneeled to open the chest with a hum, “It’s alright! No worries.”

While the promise of a beer or two meant he didn’t have to focus on the little things he had to remind himself that those little things meant a whole lot in the end. So instead he simply grabbed a Dr. Pepper and stood up after pushing the lid back down to close. Hawks moved away quickly as Fatgum turned his attention back to Mt. Lady to continue speaking, not wanting to really be caught in another conversation at the moment.

Cracking it open he found an empty wall to stand by as he pulled out his phone, taking a sip of the sweet carbonated drink as he did everything he could to seem as uninterested as possible with his small wings tucked in to keep him hidden amongst the crowd as best as possible. In all honesty he was just trying to stay out of the way because something clawed at his insides that something was going to happen and that he had to get out, but he couldn't, that would just be weakness. 

As he scrolled through some stupid posts on instagram, filled with cats and birds alike, someone managed to spot him and make their way over. Thirteen if he remembered correctly, a rescue hero who was short in stature and honestly reminded him of Baymax for several reasons. They were one of few heroes that were open about their gender and sexuality to the public, he could only wish that he could do the same. Come out in some spectacular but utterly casual fashion, but the Commission drilled it into his head on how bad of an idea that would be, even before he knew who he was. As far as he was concerned his own sexuality was swept under the rug and into the locked cellar along with the rest of Keigo.

“Hello there Hawks,” they spoke in a friendly enough tone which made him send a gentle smile back, “Sup Thirteen, how has everything been?” He asked before taking another sip of a drink that he wished he got to have more often, “Everything has been going just fine. You know running the normal reports and such around, how about yourself?” The question was overshadowed by the reality that they really were concerned for him. Just someone else who pitied the shattered kid, “Doing just fine, really.” He offered them an even larger smile.

“Everyone is so concerned but there’s no need, really.” He had to deflect this, “If anything I’m more concerned with Endeavor.” It would be a tough subject to speak through, but it was a valid one at that, “It must be hard to learn all of, well, that in such a short amount of time.” Biting the inside of his cheek he forced himself to remain calm, “That, you know, his son is a villain and in the league.” His words were carefully chosen, something soft but not too much of him. Thirteen took it hook, line, and sinker, but before they got the chance to speak someone else bumped in.

“And I wonder who could have stopped that.”

Hawks was quick to take in a breath as the deeper voice spoke up, but it didn’t just catch his and Thirteen’s attention, a few other heroes let their eyes float to the man the words came from, while others just listened in. Rock Lock. Hawks already knew how the man would feel about the situation at hand, and honestly he didn’t blame him. If he was in the same situation he would probably feel the same way. He was one of few heroes who had found a significant other outside of the hero business, one of even fewer heroes who started a family, and with his child still a baby Hawks could understand the protectiveness around them.

What happened with Hawks ended up creating another villain in the streets that could take the older man away from his family, and a villain who was strong at that; one who wasn’t afraid to take a hero's life. A villain that at the end of the day Hawks could have prevented. If he just let Keigo go for one night.

Tension felt like jellied air around them, like he needed his feathers at their best to cut through it. He understood why, and knew what kind of reaction everyone was halfway expecting, but he didn’t want to give them a pitiful kid. No. The accusation made his blood burn as anger pushed its way through his veins. They knew nothing of the real situation, they accepted the spoonfed lies, because they were too idiotic to remember that the Commission was already hiding and lying to them and never questioned something so simple. Why would they stop now?

Painful thoughts and memories rushed to the forefront of his mind. They didn’t know anything. They don’t know the way Touya used to smile at him. They don’t know of the few times they would sneak out. They don’t know what kind of simulations they went through, and the consequences of failing them. They don’t know how few times Hawks got to see a genuine and soothed smile from Touya. They don’t know how they ended up experiencing a lot of firsts together because they had nothing else to do but confide in the other. They don’t know how many times a small kiss would save Keigo, and force Hawks to remain just a mask rather than completely take over.

When he looked over to the hero there was no bit of Hawks left. No more smiling, steady, and cheerful hero. No, instead it was Keigo, and a pissed Keigo at that. His eyes narrowed dangerously as they honed in on the other, “I wonder too,” the words were filled with pure acid, such a sharp tongue belonging to someone too young, “You would really and truly think you would know who, but at the same time you think that after decades of secrets they would let everything spill over one leak that they can’t get to?”

The question hung in the air heavy, having caught the attention of the heroes present, as it all started to click together, how they still didn’t know the real story even though hero society as they know it could be thrown out the window if the other side decides to broadcast the information. Yet Keigo wasn’t finished, he took a small step towards the other, “I really do wonder what made Dabi.” He took another step, “And honestly I’m pretty sure I know what it is, but if I’m being completely honest I don’t think you could handle the truth. Or maybe instead you could go ask his old handler.”

Keigo stood in Rock Locks space. The man’s expression was tough, steeled, but he could see the seams pulling apart just a little. The younger hero was much more intimidating when he wanted to be. The acid once dripping from his lips now danced along them as he smiled to the man dangerously, eyes dark, and pupils dilated. Keigo’s chin tilted up as his eyes looked over to the man, “I must say, I envy you too.” The statement caught the hero off guard, and the pause he offered nearly had a few other heroes jump in to cool the situation, but any attempts were cut off.

“You’re very lucky. You have a nice family from what I hear,” Keigo sneered, “I can’t even see my parents anymore. I haven’t seen them since I was six.” His voice nearly cracked at the last word, but he willed himself to remain even. The words sunk in like venom and suddenly the heroes about to jump in were once again paralyzed, “You’re so lucky to be a father,” he lifted his head and leaned forward to the mans face, “Do you know what I am?” The air was completely stilled at the question the other was being presented with.

“I’m the person that the Commission uses to counter whatever Dabi has to say. I’m the one that they will market out as the success, and cover as many of Dabi’s words as either lies or misconstrued. In the end, they are the ones to paint the picture. ” Leaning back his eyes narrowed again, “And I think you only prove my own point, how willing you were to believe them without ever consulting the lone survivor of unit six. You believed them without a second thought, just as they want you too. Just as they want the public to.”

The hero who was known for his charismatic smile was gone, replaced by a much darker version of himself now, “I, Rock Lock, am a martyr. Their go to one at that. If I die by the hands of a villain before my side gets out they say that the villains were just trying to cover the truth. Nothing more than that. Because what does the public see?” He tilted his head to  side while he clicked his tongue, “Whether they think I’m exactly what they want, whether they see me as obnoxious, no matter how they see me there is one thing that they all have in common. They just see a kid doing his best.”

He smiled something bitter to the hero in front of him, “Just a kid, still learning from his own childhood heros.”

The room was deathly quiet. Pro’s of several calibers feeling like they couldn’t move, because if they did they would end up challenging him in a way, and as far as they knew he wasn’t in the best head space with everything that has happened. Maybe, but it also might be because he wasn’t wrong, he was actually scarily accurate. No matter what, everyone just saw a kid. The Commission could just end up using him to counter everything Dabi had against them. The public did like Hawks much better after all, they’d be more inclined to listen to him over Dabi.

The tension was cut by the soft shuffling of feet, causing the heroes to look over. Eri tensed at the uneasy sight, “Oh uh, I’m sorry. I’ll um,” Hawks was the one to take the chance to look over and smile at her brightly, a complete one eighty. Like he didn’t just rip innocent kid out of the pool of descriptors other heroes used for him, “It’s alright, what do you need?” He walked away from Rock Lock, fanning out his small wings just a little to keep her eyes on him, and it worked. Her timid expression flashing away with slight awe before returning, “I was going to ask for help to turn on Sofia the First. Deku said he was willing to watch it with me, and so did the others.” She explained to him.

In return he offered her a soft smile, “I can help, I was heading over that way anyway.” Hawks was back on and in full force. He walked closer towards her and the entrance to the hallway, her eyes following him with a small smile, “Thank you again for the apples.” He beamed as they both walked down the hallway, voices fading, “It’s no problem.” Leaving the stunned heroes to process everything that was just dropped on them, this was becoming an unhealthy recurrence if they were all being honest.

Hawks made his way to the incredibly lively living room with a smile on his face, as Eri walked in some students turned to them and he smiled. An excited, “Hawks!” Could be heard from Dark Shadow. He looked over to the quirk and its user, “Hey! I know, they managed to patch me up pretty quickly.” Tokoyami smiled, something Hawks figured that the kid didn’t do too much by the time they first met for his internship, “I’m glad to see you doing well.” Was what Tokoyami said, and a part of Hawks cracked. He always had a soft spot for kids. So he walked over and leaned down to hug the student tightly and then pulled away with a smile, “I can say the same for you. Thank you for everything you did. You’ll make a great hero.”

Tokoyami kept himself composed, but based on Dark Shadows soft screech he knew that the other took the compliment well. Pulling away he hummed, surveying the room as he went to pick up the remote. Switching HDMI’s away from Just Dance and to cable. Pointing to the girl next to his fellow bird while he took a seat on the couch, speaking up, “So you’re Tsu right?” The frog girl perked up before nodding, “Yes I am.”

Hawks nodded and went under recordings, suddenly feeling incredibly domestic, “I heard some great things about you, I might just snatch you for the next round of internships.” She made a soft noise and seemed to get slightly bashful over the idea of people praising her skills, “From the hero you previously interned with, and Tokoyami himself.” From the corner of his eye he saw Dark Shadow snicker as Tokoyami became flustered at the reveal. Hawks couldn’t help but smirk as he worked the situation more. Scrolling through the episodes of the children's show.

“He really does care for you all,” “Sir!” “He’ll deny everything he said, but it’s all true.” Hawks continued to tease his old intern, “Caring for your friends is very emo you birdbrain.” He called out, which only made the kid rub at his face while Dark Shadow let out a squawk of approval. Chuckling Hawks chirped back which caused the quirk to at least appear happy. His own chirp also just about made the head of the finger destroyer kid explode as he wiped out a journal of sorts, “Hero Analysis for the Future” is what was written on the front along with a volume number. Writing down while mumbling out, it made him smile at the sight. The kid definitely had spirit.

It took a good minute and Hawks selecting an unwatched episode for Eri to watch to get the kid to realize that he was being stared at. A loud yell came from him as he fumbled with the journal, “O-Oh! I’m so sorry!” He sputtered, “I just, you know, thought for a while that you had more bird like traits than the public saw! And, and apparently you do!” He squeaked out. The blonde nearby looked about ready to yell at him, but the redhead seemed to keep him in place, “You know people online have been talking about it since your debut!” He exclaimed, and suddenly Hawks was faced with a choice.

He could choose to continue hiding everything that the Commission wanted him to hide, trained him to hide. Told him for years that they were the ugly traits that would ruin him in the end. That they were the traits that would hold him back. Or he could listen to the phantom voice of a boy he once knew, who told him again and again that they were beautiful just like the rest of him. A voice that has become so loud in his dreams. He could reveal things about himself this time, no one else would do it for him.

Taking in a quiet, deep breath he smiled, “Oh yeah, I have tons of other traits.” The kid's eyes lit up, like he just made his week, while also catching the attention of other curious kids. He lifted his hands, currently gloved because his talons have been trying to push themselves out more and more. Reaching over he pulled off his right glove, “I only use these when absolutely necessary.” Then flexed his hand, sharp talons pushing out from between his fingers.

The greenette’s eyes at this point were filled with complete awe as his hand seemed to work faster with each second that passed, “What? That’s insane, I mean they’re absolutely cool! But why cover them up? I guess it makes sense because no villain would ever expect it then! That’s so smart!” Hawks chuckled at the sight, relaxing his hand to put the glove back on safely. As the boy scribbled he carefully leaned forward, lifting his pant leg and moving the hem of the long sock down. Revealing where normal skin mixed with the rough skin of a bird's feet, and Hawks swore the kid was going to jump so high that he would create a hole in the ceiling, “My feet aren’t quite like yours,” he teased before explaining, “They help me land properly.” 

The kids he was talking to seemed surprised, interested even as they got the inside look of the number two hero. Others obviously had some questions but greenie was entirely too excited, which Hawks didn’t mind. It honestly made him feel relieved, “So you do have more quirk mutations! I knew it! I mean, I’ve only seen your modeling and well-uh,” suddenly red faced it was like the kid didn’t know how to speak, “You haven’t done any that are like uhm,” “Swimsuits?” He paused, looking down a bit shameful, “Yeah.”

There was a knock at the door and Eri perked up, jumping from her spot as Hawks paused the show for her. She ran into the kitchen before running back after Mic gave her the okay to open the door. While she did so Dark Shadow took it upon himself to squawk at Hawks again, where he did so in return. Each echoing a playful chirp to the other as more guests entered. The noises nearly died on his tongue when he noticed who they were. Endeavor and Shoto.

Both seemed to have darkened features as they entered. Shoto knows. He knows the lies and probably blames Hawks. Endeavor definitely blames him. Looking over the two heroes made eye contact. The larger man looked away. The students seemed to quiet down a bit at their entrance. They must know some part of it. Probably just who Dabi is, his older brother. While Shoto probably knew much more. Why they knew though Hawks could only guess, probably just in case he needed support from his friends.

Fixing his pant leg the hero in training entered the living room, taking a seat next to Deku quietly, while Eri led Endeavor to the other heroes. The room had a feeling in the air, tension maybe? Hawks couldn’t place it. The kid looked so indifferent but troubled as he looked down to the ground. Hawks had no idea how to defuse the situation, but Shoto took up the opportunity to say something he wasn’t expecting.

“You knew my brother.”

It was a statement. One with a clear meaning behind it. Hawks, the number two hero, used to know a notable villain. The kids were stunned but even more so when Hawks confirmed it in a soft voice, cracking lightly, “Yeah, yeah I did.” He was looking down as he spoke and different versions of the same question poured out of the students around him. Some of their eyes just widened, some were soft, some were almost startled sounding, the small purple guy seemed to scream something about heroes needing to tell more to the public about this kind of thing, only to be hit by a girl with short hair and long ears.

Shoto’s breath seemed to be caught in his throat at the confirmation, the room going silent as the seconds ticked by. Hawks bit down on the tip of his tongue as the silence grew loud in his ears, so he fixed it, “There was never a good time with either you or your father to say that I used to know him,” he lied, he couldn’t tell anyone about knowing the other when they were younger, the Commission never gave him the okay to do so, “And I only found out,” he paused, “I only found out who he became during the raid.” His voice was soft as he spoke, as if he would break the other if he spoke any louder.

There was another pause, as Shoto thought. Doing his best to put the pieces together, or formulate some kind of response. Something. Lifting his head to meet the pro heroes eyes, Hawks didn’t see hatred, or anger, just a hint of sadness and desperation, “What was he like?”

The question caught Hawks off guard, he wasn’t expecting that kind of question, or any question at all really. More like an accusation or to be looked down upon, something negative. You get punished when you do something you shouldn’t Hawks. He forced the voice of his old trainer away, it was something he said to him when he was just starting to put Keigo away for training sessions. But that’s besides the point, Shoto didn’t know his brother. His real brother, not Dabi, and his only way of knowing without bringing pain to his family members would be through Hawks, through Keigo.

For once, in front of the kids, he let himself tense up slightly, looking to the ground as he contemplated what to say. There were so many things to say. Gulping his eyes closed before opening them to speak, “He was incredibly kind.” He had to force the words out, as pressure built up behind his eyes. He refused to let himself cry in front of kids, especially ones who have been through too much, ones who needed heroes to look up to. But also his response was obviously not one that was expected. The room went back to pure silence as Hawks spoke.

Clenching his jaw he willed himself to remain calm and steady as he continued, “The program I was in had pretty awful trainers, personality wise, and the people who overviewed the program all agreed. They would make us hide things about our quirks that they didn’t like. Traits that they deemed unheroic we were forced to hide,” the air in the room was tough, Hawks could see those with mutation based quirks tense, because they know all too well what it’s like, “But your brother, when he was still him, he would look me in my eye and remind me of how wrong they were. How they made me unique. How they made me, me.”

He didn’t miss the way Todoroki sat up straighter as they looked at eachother, gripping his pants. Hawks offered him a sad smile, “He used to talk about you and your siblings a lot,” His voice went quiet again, “He would occasionally say something like how when he first saw you he said that you reminded him of a peppermint, or what he would teach you to make with fire. Pony’s and such.” His shoulders pulled up as he spoke. The poor kid was taking in deep breaths which only broke Hawk’s heart, “We can talk about the rest later-” “No,” Todoroki cut him off, “What happened?”

The question made Hawks freeze, “They said, they said you were there since you were like six? You were their golden child there, never made a mistake until you were the one to push for you two to sneak out?” He questioned the hero, Hawks knew exactly what the kid meant, “It doesn’t make sense. Even if you did want to sneak out you wouldn’t have needed Touya for that. What happened? Really?” 

Keigo bit into his bottom lip, head coming forward to hang in some kind of defeat. Picking it back up with a deep breath he forced the tears down, “They simply misunderstood.” His voice was fragile, less for Shoto and more because of himself. Looking the kid in the eyes was suddenly much more difficult, “We actually snuck out a few times,” he pointed out, “Each time he would be the one to offer and each time I tried to hold us back. But each time I did I was more willing to rush out with him,” he explained with a heavy sigh, “What, what had happened the day of our last outing really got to him. It was one of our simulations, and he didn’t manage to save everyone.”

He paused, trying to remain calm, but it was getting harder and harder each second as a phantom pain brushed over his arms, as anxiety crawled in his chest, “What they didn’t tell you was who they use in these simulations and what you do after. He wasn’t able to save your hologram self,” the memories rushed to him, “So he had to practice explaining to your dad that he couldn’t save his own little brother's life.” Silent shock could be felt around the room. Who would do that?

“I’ll give him this, I know what it’s like. Having to practice talking about how you let a family member be the one to get away. It’s not easy.” His voice cracked softly, “So when he came in after showering he was quick to push us to the window. Saying he needed a breath of fresh air. Saying that the room was too stuffy. Saying all these things until I made him say the truth.” Sighing he let his head hang slightly as he looked down at the ground, mainly to hide any tears that forced themselves to be known, “Once he did I was willing to take him out, the only thing was that they picked up on what we were doing and added an extra security precaution that I didn’t notice because I was just trying to get him out of there as quickly as possible so he had more time away.” His voice wavered slightly, as he admitted how it was partially his fault still.

“The next morning after we got back I was woken up by the sounds of screams,” the last word was barely audible, “I forced our door open, ran to the gym but by the time I got there he was,” Hawks opted to let his voice trail off rather than finish the sentence. His point still got through, “It was the one time I wasn’t fast enough.” It always hurt him to think about it.

Why is it that the ones we can’t save are the ones who mean the most?

The question always haunted him, always hurt him. Always followed him whenever those painful memories surged, he lowered his head as he spoke, “I’m so sorry Shoto.” There was no immediate response. He was once again expecting the yelling, the anger, something, but once again there was none, “It wasn’t your fault,” the statement nearly broke him on the spot, “You just didn’t notice something.” Quietness consumed the room again, “My father blames you,” Hawks nearly started shaking again, “But in reality you weren’t the one who pushed him too hard in training.” The way he spoke nearly sounded like he knows what it’s like to push someone too far.

Hawks lifted his head to look at him again, he could see the other open his mouth to say something but the words died on his tongue as he looked past Hawks. Pausing he took his chances and turned around to look at whoever was behind him. Of course, of course, it was Eraserhead of all people. That man sure did know when to show up when Hawks was at his lowest, “Eraserhead.” He spoke bluntly to the other man, it only made his frown bigger as he looked to the younger hero, “Hawks-” “I’m currently in the middle of a very important conversation.” He cut him off, steeling himself so Keigo didn’t break free again. Turning his body so he wasn’t facing him, “Keigo.”

Once again throwing his name around? With the kids around too? Whatever he was trying to do, Hawks hated it, “We have to talk.” Eraserhead continued. Hawks stood, anger once again fueling him, “Yes. Yes we do.” He walked around the couch to follow Eraserhead, offering the students one last sad smile before keeping his head straight. There’s so many things this man could do or say to Hawks, he had to be prepared for all of them, but a small part of him pushed up all the memories. A small part of him desperately wanting to accept whatever aid the other would potentially offer him. A small part hoped to be yelled at, something familiar.

He ignored those small parts of him.

Eraserhead led him to some guest bedroom, closing the door behind them and locking it. Hawks took in a deep breath as he watched him do so. Eyes locked on the other man's hands, he fought with them when he didn’t have his capture weapon. Hawks suddenly cursed himself for not doing much exercising or training after the raid. Even if it hurt he should be doing something. Shaking the thoughts away he listened to what the other had to say, “What really happened?”

This question again? Hawks tilted his head, “I was already explaining it to Todoroki-” “No.” Eraserhead turned to him, eyebrows knitted together as he looked down at Hawks, “You’re a damn good liar, but I’m no idiot.”  He spoke with strength in his words now, as if he was trying out something new, but Hawks refused to let it get to him, “I wasn’t lying.”

“Then why did you struggle to look in his eyes?” 

Pain surged in his chest, the phantom burns returning to his arms. The desperate need to grab something until he calmed down was suddenly present, damn bird traits. He continued to look the other in the eyes but something snapped in him. He struggled to breathe and suddenly he felt like he was five again, with his parents as they screamed to each other. The smashing of bottles rang in his ears, blood pooling from a cut on the back of his head. Then with a snap of his fingers he was in the gym, smoke filling his lungs as his arms burned. He was in a small room to be trained to lie smoothly. You were trained for this and you can’t even manage to do a simple lie? The voice in his head taunted him.

The burns grew, causing his arms to shake lightly, grabbing onto his right wrist he tried to force it to stop but it only got worse. Suddenly less focused with being a steel front to the other man, he forced himself to just try and remain calm. His shoulders were pulled up, tears filled his eyes as everything was flashing again and again and again. The burnt body, the fire, the blood.

He was ripped out of his thoughts and was thrusted into a form of purgatory. Nothing, he felt nothing, but the warm arms around him. Keigo couldn’t process it, his brain could only imagine one pair of arms that were so warm and full of genuine care. Head resting on the others chest he hiccuped before letting out a pained sob. A hand gently held the back of his head, while the other pressed right below his wings on his spine, the tender gesture only made him cry out more. More horrid and ugly sobs being ripped from his throat as the shirt beneath him got wet with his tears.

Keigo could barely tell that they were moving, not until the back of his knees hit the bed and the other sat down next to him, just letting his head rest on his chest as he uncontrollably sobbed. The soft but deep voice came out again, like a siren's song, “It helps to talk about it, you were right about that.” He offered him gently. Hawks felt trapped in his own mind, he wanted nothing more than to let everything spill, but he knew better. He knew that he had to keep it all in. It could destroy the Commission.

Keigo knew it too, but he let it all spill. While Hawks would protect the Commission with his life, Keigo would be the one holding the matches while watching it all burn. He let the words stumble from his mouth and into the air between them, they were struggled and strained. Hurt to be said, but even worse to relive alone in his head, “They-They were looking for a reason.” He spoke between sobs, breathing being stopped short with each hiccup, “They didn’t want him. He didn’t have control and wanted to leave. He was the only one who had every right to.” He forced out, body only shaking more, the arms around him getting tighter in response.

“But if he-if he did, and, and told anyone what happened,” his voice left him, not needing to say the rest. Sobs getting worse as he let the other guess. The hand in his hair gently petted and scratched his scalp to soothe him, “They were looking for a reason to get rid of him and, and me leaving with him that night. I-” his voice choked on a cry, “I gave them the perfect opportunity. It really was my own fucking fault.” Keigo admitted, “I really did cause his death.”

Words fell from Aizawa, ones he could only guess was comfort but he couldn’t hear him. His thoughts were too overwhelming, too loud, his gross sobbing too much in his own ears. He gripped the back of Aizawa’s shirt, finding it near impossible to think or calm down. The other just let him, running a careful hand through his hair while the other stationed itself on his back.

He didn’t remember what was said to him after that while he cried, letting out years of pent up frustrations and tears in a single session was rough, and takes a toll on a person's body. As his sobs slowly subsided into something softer, something more like hiccups, and then labored breathing, finally just being drained. His eyes were heavy, he was already struggling to sleep the past week, but the tears made him feel how absolutely exhausted he already was and then added more on top of that. Stretching him past his limit. His limbs felt heavy in their spots. Keigo was thirsty and completely drained, somewhere in the back of his head it clicked that Aizawa brought him to the guest room for a reason.

Carefully the other man helped Keigo straighten up, even though his whole body sagged. He knew what the other saw, that he probably looked like a mess. In the distance he could hear a loud yell from his incredibly late friend who he loved to death, but couldn’t bring himself any energy to even think about getting up to go say hi and then immediately be yelled at for looking like he hasn’t slept in twenty days, before realizing he cried and claim that she would actually kill the person who did this to him. He couldn’t even bring himself to laugh at his own joke.

“You can stay in here as long as you like,” Aizawa spoke to him, “I know that this kind of thing can be draining so take a nap if you need it.” The look in his eyes told Keigo that it is in fact what the other wanted him to do, especially because he looked so much weaker and smaller now. The blonde didn’t even respond, just nodding his head. Aizawa stood, “I’ll be back with some water.” He stated before slowly moving off the bed, as if he was scared that any sudden movement would scare Hawks away.

Soon enough he was out the door. Sighing he flopped onto his back, small wings spread wide as he stared up to the ceiling, hating himself for doing something so stupid. Like giving the other a chance to see him so vulnerable. A loud yawn pushed through him. He didn’t want to go out and risk being seen by anyone like this, but he was incredibly tired. So he took the other up on his offer for a nap. Pulling out his phone he set an alarm for an hour and set it on the bed side table. Sitting up to remove the jacket he was wearing and throwing it to the floor, rolling onto his right side he closed his eyes for an hour long nap.

He wasn’t expecting to wake up the next morning instead.

Chapter Text

The dream he had was like his last, a memory from one of the times they snuck out. Their second time around, when the two of them went roller skating, Touya claimed that it should be mandatory for people to try it out by the time they turned fifteen at the oldest. They had once again ran to the mall beforehand, Hawks willing to take more time to sort through clothes and find cute ones that would fit the theme. A long loose top, that at some point in the night someone berated him over it because it was a woman's shirt, the top tucked into some high waisted pants that hugged his legs. That night again Touya helped him with just a simple lip gloss, Keigo having been more confident to ask the other about it.

Then once again like last time the dream went off the rails, one minute they were laughing as they roller skated around the rink after Keigo took a few nasty falls while getting used to the wheels on his feet. They had eaten chilly fries and wasted time in the arcade that was off to the side, and then suddenly Keigo was in the same place over Touya’s burnt body. Suddenly he found another body from someone else in the unit, hanging from their ceiling fan. Suddenly he was crying and screaming and felt like he couldn’t escape.

Then suddenly he was gasping for air as his eyes shot open. The room was dark, curtains pulled closed for privacy. It took him a brief moment of panic before he remembered everything that had happened, the memories hit him like a brick. He felt like he was hit by a brick. His eyes were heavy, as were his limbs. After his nap he still felt drained, but at least he could leave the room looking a little less like a mess and not catch any attention from the people who attended the party. It took him a few more moments to realize that his alarm hadn’t gone off. Humming out he picked up the phone before his eyes went wide as the screen displayed the time and date.

He had spent the entire night at Eraserheads house.

Looking around his eyes took in more. His jacket once discarded on the floor now sat on a dresser neatly folded. Hawks himself now had a blanket resting over him. A cold glass of water sat on the bedside table. Whoever did all this also seemed to have a similar phone, or at least the charger, for the phone Hawks had so they plugged it in to charge overnight. He rubbed at his face as he groaned, leaning forward with his head in his hands as his thoughts raced in his head. Pressing his palms into his eyes he rubbed roughly.

Forcing himself out of the bed was probably the hardest thing to do. He didn’t want to get up. He wanted to retreat and hide under pillows and blankets, make a nest out of them like he used to, and stay in the center of it all so he would never have to leave. But he should have left a long time ago, a bit of bitterness crawled in him as he realized that Eraserhead let him sleep in instead of waking him up when he wanted to. Keigo wasn’t sure if he wanted to thank the man or not because of it.

Huffing he forced himself to his feet, body heavy but his nose picked up something that made him tilt his head up. They must be cooking breakfast, the coffee was already brewed and Hawks could smell it. The scent is a reminder that he desperately needed some to do anything during the day. Sighing he moved more, leaving the water and grabbing his jacket to throw back on. Moving back over to fix the blanket that was put over him and then grabbed his phone to slip it in his back pocket. There was a mirror that he risked a glance at and cringed. He looked sweaty and his hair was even more of a birds nest than what it normally is. 

He had slipped out of the room and then went to the bathroom which was right next door and luckily, not occupied. Turning on the sink he let the water run on his hands before wiping his with them, combing his fingers through his hair in hopes to tame the small beast. Once looking slightly presentable he sighed, desperately just wanting to be alone again. With a click of his tongue he turned around and carefully exited the bathroom, as if he would break the door if he wasn’t careful enough.

Taking another sniff of the air he willed his stomach to not make any noises as he made his way to the kitchen, figuring he should tell Aizawa that he was leaving instead of giving him a heart attack by finding an empty guest room. Walking in quietly he peeked in first, his heart both swelling and dropping at the sight. Eri was carefully watching as Present Mic cooked what he could only guess was bacon, giggling as he dramatically jumped each time there was an impressive sounding pop. Aizawa stood next to them watching as he mixed batter next to cut fruits. Their backs were to him, but he could only envy such a moment. He never had one to look back to.

With her head turned Eri’s large eyes managed to catch the sight of him. Turning fully she smiled, “Good morning mister Hawks.” Her attention now on him only caused the other two heroes to turn their heads to him. They were both in casual clothes, and their hair tied back, Mic’s hair was down for once which Hawks had yet to see. He offered a smile in return to the three, “Hey there, just came in to say that I’m heading out.”

Mic frowned dramatically, “Oh c’mon listener! We’re making extra food already and we would love for you to stay.” He expressed in his radio show voice, Eri nodding, “Yes!” She exclaimed excitedly, “I was hoping you would stay for dinner. We were gonna make pancakes!” He had to admit, Hawks was a bit taken back by how excited she was, and visibly too. Maybe it’s because they weren’t entirely surrounded by heroes now, just her two dads and Hawks, but they also said that they were making extra food already so someone else might be here, “It really is alright, I don’t want to impose.”

“You won’t be imposing Hawks, please we insist,” he looked over at Aizawa as he spoke, “It would be rude of us to send you off without anything when we’re already making it.” Once again that small part of himself screamed at him, to take this chance and be cared for instead of taking care of someone. He was already weakened, still drained from the previous night, some part of him asked what is the worst that could happen? He knew what could happen, but he couldn’t find it in himself to insist on leaving again. Instead he nodded softly, “Alright.” His voice trailed off in a way that the two adults could only catch onto it.

“Coffee is on the counter to the left, mugs are in the cabinet above it.” Hawks nodded some and went over to the area of the kitchen to grab a mug, opening the cabinet Eri perked up, “Make sure you don’t touch the cat one! That one is dad’s.” He couldn’t stop the small smile that appeared on his face, “D’aw man, and here I was so hopeful to drink out of a meow-ug.” The awful pun made the small girl chuckle, lifting his hand he grabbed a plain looking mug before moving to make the coffee. 

As he waited for the mug to be filled Eri made her way over to him after whispering something to Mic, sticking her head just above the counter to look up at him. Looking down to her they locked eyes and she offered a small smile, “Do you want to help me make pancakes?” She asked quite adorably and he swore that he saw sparkles in her eyes as she asked. It squeezed at his heart and he would say that only someone completely heartless would say no to her, “Of course, I would love to.” He spoke warmly to her in return and she just seemed to smile brighter, something he didn’t even know was possible. 

He picked up the mug that had his coffee, bringing it to his lips with a hum as he watched Aizawa let out a huff. Sensitive ears picking up on what he was saying to the other hero, “You know for a kid who never sleeps, when he does that kid cannot get up on time, I swear.” The blonde just seemed to chuckle and counter, “Oh c’mon, don’t be so upset over it. He gets it from you anyway.” The black haired man scoffed, “Oh, c’mon. He knows what is good for him. What is healthy.” “And so do you, but do you follow your own advice?” He questioned Aizawa, which only made him quiet down in silent defeat.

He left the batter to the side and Yamada finished the bacon, moving around to work on something else once the meat was placed on its own plate, “Eri, Hawks,” Aizawa motioned to the pan and batter, “It’s all yours, I have to go wake up some problem children.” Aizawa spoke as he moved out of the kitchen. Eri giggled, she must know who they might be, before quickly moving over and pulling out a small stool next to where Hawks took Aizawa’s previous spot, where he suddenly realized that he had no idea how to cook pancakes. The Commission never did give him Home Ec as a curriculum, and he was always too busy to ever really have the time to cook anything.

Eri was pretty excited though, picking up a large spoon while he basically stood by with a spatula in hand, she passed him the spoon which he could only assume was to scoop the batter into the pan. He did so carefully, Yamada watching him from the corner of his eyes as he started on the eggs. He must have caught the face that Hawks made after putting in one scoop, it looked too small to be a pancake or it at least looked like it was gonna be a mini one. Quietly leaning over Yamada said in his ear so that Eri couldn’t hear him, “It takes two or three scoops with that spoon.”

Hawks looked over to the man who smiled at him, and in return he awkwardly smiled back, “Ah, thank you.” Turning back to the pan he added another scoop, followed by creating two more circles of batter next to the first one. Then came the game of trying to guess when to flip it, which was a whole other ballgame. Maybe Yamada could see the smallest crease between his brows, or maybe he could just tell that the other had no idea how to make pancakes but didn’t want to ruin the fun for Eri.

This time he moved away from the bowl of eggs, setting it down on the counter and coming behind him to look over his shoulder, “See how that one is bubbling?” He asked the younger hero who nodded as a response, Yamada’s hand coming up to rest on his right shoulder, “That means it’s getting close to being flipped, you can check under it of course to see if it’s the right color.” He explained like how a dad would to their kid which caused a weird feeling in Hawks’ chest. Maybe it’s because this is the first time in a situation outside of heroics another person stepped in to help and lead him with a smile. On the job though, he didn’t need it and felt as though his time was being wasted. The Commission trained him so none of the other heroes had to, but this moment the other seemed happy to help without being asked, and without any hint of sarcasm over the simple task. It was nice.

Hawks was so focused on the batter in the pan and when to flip it that he missed the way Yamada turned his head to face Aizawa who stood in the doorway, his left hand still resting on his shoulder. He missed the way the blonde gave the other a soft smile. He missed the way that Aizawa seemed to sag a bit, but smiled back, knowing that he had to help Keigo and that the journey wouldn’t be the easiest. Yamada turned his head back to look at what Hawks was doing.

Eri hummed curiously as she watched as her Pa instructed Hawks how to make pancakes for the first few of the batch, “So you’ve never made pancakes before?” She asked him. Hawks in return smiled softly, something a bit sad, and something a bit tense, “Yeah. My school didn’t really offer a Home Ec class, and since I started my agency I’ve always been on my feet so I never really had the time to.” Hawks explained softly to the girl, knowing that other ears were open to listen in.

Yamada hummed as he patted his shoulder before removing his hand. The gesture nearly made Hawks preen, “Well you’re doing a good job at it.” The man exclaimed as he moved back to the eggs, Hawks managing to shuffle the finished pancakes onto an expecting plate next to the stove. He was less tired now, and he would blame it on the coffee. Deep down though he knew it’s because he’s here. Able to let a small girl watch on in delight as he learned how to cook pancakes, to be able to take a long moment for himself to cook a breakfast that wasn’t just an egg on toast that his feathers could do without a second thought so he never bothered to learn how to make anything else, to let himself relax. Relax. When was the last time he relaxed?

“Yaknow Dad always says it’s nice to slow down, good even.” Eri said softly, as if she knew what he was thinking, and maybe she did. His reply was gentle and quiet, but knew that the others were listening in because they, well he wouldn’t say cared, but more so that they were concerned, “Well,” his voice had trailed off into nothingness before picking up again, “Maybe your dad is right.” Keigo said back to her.

He was so focused on the next batch in front of him that he missed the way the husbands looked at eachother once again to smile.

For sometime after that it was quiet, peaceful even. Yamada at some point said that he couldn’t stand the silence and turned on a certain song that sounded like it belonged in the 1940’s. When he called out to Alexa to play it he called the song Married Life. Silence mixed with the gentle music only seemed to make Keigo relax more. 

The soft patter of feet along with distant chatter came from down the hall, looking over his back he recognized two students. One of which, he heard from some rumors, Aizawa took in after figuring out the boy had family troubles. Shinsou was his name. The kid next to him was the green haired boy from the previous night. Midoriya. For a moment as their eyes met the kid seemed to tense before quickly melting it off and trying to offer a smile to the other, squeaking out a “Goodmorning!”

He could only assume that Aizawa spoke to the two about Hawks, which is what took the man so long to get back. Hawks then hummed out, “Morning, Finger Destroyer.” He teased, Eri tilted her head at the name but Midoriya seemed to chuckle out something awkward, “Oh yeah thats me, just you know-” the kid was cut off by the purple haired boy who let his hands rest on the others shoulders as if to calm him and prevent any concerning words to reach Eri’s ears, “Good morning,” he said to Hawks before nodding to the two other adults in the room, “Parental Units.”

Aizawa nodded back, “Problem child.”

Yamada didn’t even look away from the eggs he was scrambling, “Cat boy.”

Hawks nearly snickered at the dead panned interactions between the three. Then Eri spoke up in a bubbly voice which broke the monotone theme, “Sibling!” Hawks couldn’t help but smile and snicker at the interaction, but he wasn’t the only one smiling.

Soon the pancakes were finished along with one failed cat shaped pancake, which Eri said that she loved anyway, and the kids were ushered over to make their plates first. Midoriya was timid and tried not to take too much even though there was plenty for them all, Shinsou was the one who threw an extra pancake on his plate saying he didn’t have to be so shy. Then Yamada went, after Hawks insisted that he go last, and then Aizawa who helped plate Eri’s food, but let her decorate her own pancakes. Which Hawks saw as an opportunity and kneeled down beside her to decorate his own. The two having a small conversation over what they were making with their food.

“I’m decorating the cat pancake you made to look even more like a cat!” She exclaimed, “What about you?” He had cut a pancake in half, then turned them so the rounded sides were pointing to the bottom. Two pancakes sandwiched them, but the half circles stuck out of course, the bottom pancake having a triangle cut out to be placed on the top one, with two carefully placed blueberries for eyes, “A bird of course.” He tilted it carefully for her to see.

Standing on her toes to see it better she ended up knocking off the container for strawberries off the counter, which Hawks quickly sent a feather out to catch and carefully place back down on the counter. In the process he prevented one of Eri’s apologizing fits that typically happens after she messes something up on accident, instead her eyes watched the feather, “Wow,” was all the girl said, blinking. Suddenly having an idea he smiled wider, several more careful feathers were sent out, lifting her up and letting her fall gently into the next one and then being pulled back up to start again. At first it startled her, but the careful playfulness with the feathers caused her to go into a small laughing fit, a few others picked up the plate that she was decorating along with his own.

He didn’t miss the way that Yamada chuckled at the sight or how Shinsou smiled at how the girl, who he probably considered to be his little sister, enjoyed the ride. Setting her down and the plate he was carrying being placed in front of her, he let his attention diverge and grabbed his mug with his hand, setting his own plate down in front of his seat. Just like that the six of them were at the table, gentle music still playing in their ears. It was completely and utterly domestic. Something Hawks had little to no experience with, but was exactly what Keigo craved.

“Geewillickers Mr. Hawks, why couldn’t you give me a ride like that to my seat?” Shinsou feigned curiosity through his monotone voice, and Hawks knew he was going to like this kid, “Sorry kiddo but you are just too tall for that ride.” He said right back. Yamada let out a laugh as he set his own mug down, “Kiddo? That’s a rich statement coming from you young man.” Hawks gasped dramatically, “Why, I should throw you into a retirement home old Mr. Mick Jenkins.” He had no idea where the name came from, but he did know that it got them all to laugh just a little, even Aizawa.

It was honestly such a nice change of pace. The ability to relax and laugh around others who at least seem like they care and aren’t trying to get anything from him let his heart rest easy. It was nice to watch as the two kids spoke with each other, each having a crush on the other, that they were completely oblivious to. It was nice to have the young girl gasp as he ate his bird shaped-ish pancakes, saying that he shouldn’t eat his own kind. It was nice to have adults in the room who didn’t use their age against him like most did, instead using it to make jokes to the rest of them. 

It was nice.

Hawks didn’t want it to end if he was being honest.

The being taken care of. The laughter. The jokes. The relaxing. The everything.

He felt calm. He felt happy. He felt like he could eat without the guilt consuming him. 

As the boys finished up their plates Yamada said to ignore anything Aizawa said and to leave the plates in the sink. That must not happen often based on the reaction that Shinsou had, but a teenager getting to avoid chores? He took that up with no sweat. Then Eri ran up to the sink to place her plate in carefully, realization hit Hawks that he was quickly being left alone with Aizawa and Yamada. Suddenly he wanted to be alone again. For it to be over. To be at home.

With Eri out of the room his thoughts raced as he struggled to take another bite of the absolutely childish pancakes in front of him, when his fork hovered the eggs instead he couldn’t find it in himself to push it down. Now that he was with these two the thoughts of what they had to discuss ran in his head, which in turn brought up so many other memories. How guilty he felt when he got to continue everything while Touya suffered. It only made it worse when his mind clicked, realizing how skinny the other got. How he didn’t get to eat much over the years, while the other pro heroes would go as far as call Hawks a glutton to his face. It made him sick to his stomach. He didn’t want to eat anymore. He felt guilty for taking it. His mind wandered to the time right after Touya passed, and how he refused to eat whatever the Commission gave him. He didn’t want to fall into it again, but he’s feeling like he is.

His hand shook lightly, which he took as his que to set down his fork and rest his hand in his lap as he took in a deep breath, “Aizawa,” he said, being straightforward with the other, “When I said we had to talk last night I meant it.” Now looking up to the other hero's eyes the tension in the air grew, and before the other offered for them to leave the room he spoke up again, “I don’t mind if Yamada hears this, in fact I think it’s best if he does.” Hawks took in another deep breath, “It’s my name.” He stated bluntly, the other looking at him, silently telling him to continue.

“Last night you used my name, my real name, to try and get me to talk with you in private and I get it. I get why, I do but just,” his voice trailed off, eyes looking down at the half eaten bird-cakes before sighing. This was definitely going to hurt. His eyebrows rose and knitted together as he looked down, “I was brought in when I was six,” he started off, “I was one of those kids that was incredibly young when brought in because of my family situation, one that they talked about. They told me when I first got there that I couldn’t go by my own name anymore. That I had to go by Hawks instead. I couldn’t say it, or use it, and if I did I would get punished for it. Simple as that.” His eyes flicked up to the other two who seemed tense, worried even.

“They basically wanted me to cut ties with the name, and my past, entirely, especially because of,” he paused, “Someone in the family,” He wouldn’t dare say his own father, “But no matter how hard I tried I didn’t want to give it up. Besides some Endeavor plushie I walked in with, it was all I had that was my own. They replaced everything else, but deep down I knew that they couldn’t replace my name. They threw away the plushie when they thought it softened me, and it only made me hold onto it tighter.” He clenched his jaw, blinking quickly.

“Then he came in,” the two got so tense that Hawks could see their shoulders rise, “Like me he only went by another name, and honestly he was really distant at first. With good reason of course. It’s a shitty situation to be in.” he bit the inside of his bottom lip, “But over time we got to know each other. We became really,” he paused, searching for a good word, “Close.” He was sure that the others could tell what he meant by that, but if they did they wouldn’t let it show, “He was the first and only person in my life that I have ever entrusted my name to, because in a sense it’s still the only thing I can really call my own.” The commission could take away everything else, even his own life, if they deemed it necessary.

“He’s gone now. Dabi in his space,” saying the villain's name hurt, but he didn’t let any bit of his weakness show, “When he said it out to me it was like he held it in his hands, because that’s all it is to him. Information. The president?” he questioned, “She took my name and smashed it on the ground, used it for no reason but to sound professional while targeting me. A reminder that they can do what they want. But then you, you took it in your hands,” finally he looked up at the other. His face was twisted into something akin to a sad desperation of sorts, “and without knowing it the first time you called me that back in the meeting room you added more cracks in it. Then again last night, it felt like you were grounding the shards into dust.” He paused.

“So I wouldn’t have a chance to glue it back together.” The words came out in a whisper.

A moment passed after he finished, then another, and another, before it became unbearable Aizawa spoke to him, “I had, no idea it was that important to you,” His voice was low, as if he was trying to be as careful as possible, “I knew that it was important, you didn’t let it out for years, but I only figured that they revealed it because you let them too,” his voice fell, “I guess looking back that isn’t my smartest assumption, especially knowing what we know now.” He looked so sincerely apologetic, a look he would have never thought he would get to see on the man, “I am deeply sorry that I put you through that, and I understand if you can’t forgive me.” His words trailed off as their eyes locked.

“It’s okay,” he lied, but the other was trying, “Just please, please don’t use it again unless I let you to.” He practically begged the other hero, who in turn nodded, “Of course. Do you want me to remind other heroes not to use it if they try to?” Keigo nodded, rubbing at his cheek, “Yes, yes that would be very nice.”

Another beat passed before he spoke up again, “But also, you letting me sleep past my alarm and through the night?” He halfway questioned the two. Yamada was the one to speak up this time, “Your alarm was going off for like five minutes and was bothering Mirko. She went with me to check up on you and explained to us how you haven’t been sleeping well since the meeting. She turned off your alarm then me and Aizawa talked over it and thought that letting you get the sleep you needed was important. We weren’t quite expecting you to sleep through the night, but it was a possibility that we weren’t unwelcome to.” He explained, “So we plugged in your phone, gave you some water, and a blanket, then folded up your jacket.”

Hawks nodded, feeling a bit torn at the situation at hand, but once again the small part of him, telling him that they only did it because they were concerned, won. He blames the calming background music, “Uhm, thank you then.” Keigo hummed out softly, “It was nice.” The two seemed relaxed by the response, unknown to them a huge part of his mind screamed at him for letting them do such a thing. This was dangerous, this was a path that he couldn’t continue down without risks.

“Dad, Pa, Hawks, do you want to come watch Ladybug with me, Shinsou, and Deku?” The question pushed him out of his thoughts, and back into the soft promises of being happy. Eri couldn’t have come at a better time. Keigo was already smiling before he turned around to face her, “I would love to.” He stood, looking to the other two who had paused for a second at the sudden change in Hawks, but relaxed when they saw the small, much more real smile. Standing to follow the white haired girl back to the sofa’s. Keigo chuckling as he gave her another ride with his feathers.

Sitting down he removed his jacket to sit on, Eri coming over with an abundance of blankets. Handing them out to everyone. She took a seat between Keigo and her dads, snuggling under the cover that she and Keigo shared. Midoriya and Shinsou on the other couch under their own blanket, Shinsou hitting the play button on the remote. Keigo leaned back into the couch to watch as the brightly lit show played as the sun peeked from behind the curtains just slightly.

Aizawa let himself be the one to lean into Yamada instead of the other way around like last time. Looking to the group of kids he basically adopted over time. Sighing he thought about the next step, what to do and how to do it.

Healing was going to be hard, but he is going to help. No matter what.

Chapter Text

The need for another distraction was like Hawks needed a fix of a drug. He realized this and felt no different than his mother. Sure the last memory he had of her was fuzzy with tears of a young Keigo not knowing when he would see her again, turns out it was never. This is all besides the point though. He hasn’t left his condo much, since his wings are growing back, making him noticeable again but without the ability to fly away. Did he want to be swarmed by paparazzi and reporters? No. Surprisingly none have made their way to him, or they haven’t caught him whenever he is outside.

The memories were still flashing in front of his eyes when he wasn’t focused on something else, finding it hard to concentrate once they were there. Tears would always manage to form but rarely fell, his body still so used to holding them in. It was hell. Hawks wished he could jump back into his work, but everything he did with his feathers was a risk. If he stretched his attention thin they would weaken and drop things they were carrying, and couldn’t pick up as much weight as normal. He’s still out of the game for a good while, with no good distraction to keep him occupied.

Then one was presented on a silver platter to him. Once he left the Aizawa residency the older heroes managed to talk him into sharing phone numbers. Since then Hawks would occasionally get messages asking how he was doing, he indulged the two because it was better than nothing. Then a few days later he got a message that made him light up.

Eraserhead: Good morning Hawks, I hope you’re doing well. I’m sorry if this is too much to ask for but Mic and I are going on a date night soon and we were wondering if you would like to watch over Eri for a few hours. Originally we were going to ask Shinsou because she knows him more, but she’s really taken a liking to you. Hope to hear from you soon.

Dear God did he text like an old man, Hawks was surprised that he didn’t end up signing it with the little dash. He’s also incredibly surprised that he would ever entrust Hawks around the child, maybe because Aizawa knows that Hawks was never in the best situation either and could easily help Eri out of any panic attacks she might have. For him, not only that but that’s a whole night of not having to stare back into the turquoise eyes in his memories. A whole night of not having to listen to the voice in his ear. A whole night of not feeling bad for eating when the other couldn’t. Shaking the thoughts away Hawks sent a reply.

Hawks: I’d love to watch over Eri. Just give me a time and day and you’ll see me there!

It took a minute for the delivered to turn into a read, and a few more as Aizawa typed out a response. A time for Saturday was sent, and a message next to it basically saying that he’ll explain the rules whenever Hawks got there. Then just like that he was left alone again by himself and his thoughts, memories. Everything he hated. For three more days. Three more days that Hawks wanted to forget. Three more days that he wasn’t sure if he could take. He sighed, knowing that this will only make him weak for that small part of him that screamed all the good things when he was around people.

That screamed at him that they cared.

God this was going to be a long three days.

It was. It was painful and by the end of it Hawks had several finished projects ranging from shirts, trying to make basic dishes, reading, and typically while he did anything the TV or some music blasted in the background. It was hard to keep his attention from wandering and thinking about someone who isn’t there anymore, but soon the mini prison sentence was up and he was granted parole. 

He managed to make his way to the home via uber, who he took some selfies with for publicity reasons and to keep him from sharing the underground hero's address after picking Hawks up from a coffee shop near his condo. Soon he was standing in front of the home, knowing what awaited him on the inside. Warmth bloomed in his chest at the idea of Eri wanting him around. He was happy to give her the childhood he could only dream of.

Walking up he knocked on the door, his sharp hearing picking up the soft patter of distant feet, Eri asking Mic who was at the door and if she could answer it, which was followed by the quick shuffling towards him. Plastering a soft smile she swung the door open with much more gusto than last time. Smiling brightly she waved at him, “Hello Hawks!” Eri gleamed at him and he couldn’t help but let his smile grow a little wider in return, “Hey Eri! Ready for tonight?” Hawks asked, stepping inside as she moved to the right. The young girl nodded, “Yeah!” Her excited voice was still so soft and the thought of why hit him sadly.

Stepping in he removed his shoes at the front before following Eri who was fast on her feet leading him to the dining room where Yamada and Aizawa were making sure that they had everything. The blonde smiled over at Hawks and waved with a bright greeting, while the other nodded, his normal gruff self, “Hey you guys! Aizawa,” he hummed, “Rules?” he simply questioned before he forgot. The other nodded, much more sharply. Oh, so this is the intense dad mode Tokoyami brought up once.

“Yes. She typically goes to sleep around nine. Bath at eight, but she was told that she could skip it tonight if she wants to. Make sure she brushes her teeth and she might ask for a story. If she asks there is a small radio in her room that plays soft music to help her sleep. There are still some caramel apples in the fridge but she can only have one after dinner. If anything happens, call me immediately.” He paused to take a breath, which Hawks quickly took to butt in, “For dinner would I be allowed to take her out? I know a few restaurants that have a calming vibe that I think she would enjoy.” He pointed out hopefully, going out as a kid was rare for him and he didn’t want Eri to not have many memories outside the house.

The two dads looked between each other, Aizawa letting out a soft sigh, “Yeah I don’t see a problem with it. But if it gets rowdy or really crowded be cautious.” He spoke sternly, Hawks in turn nodded, “Of course,” he turned to Eri who watched them with large eyes, “If we go out and you feel uncomfortable tell me alright?” she nodded so he turned his attention back to her dad who picked up where he left off, “There’s money on the counter for food, if it’s not enough just tell me and we can pay you back later.”

Hawks shook his head, “Oh no, it’s quite alright. Trust me when I say I’m fine on that end and there’s no need.” His words came out light and cheerful, which he couldn’t tell if it was him or the mask speaking. Maybe that was a good thing, at least some part of him was still good and he could tell.

Aizawa huffed at the response, going to insist before Yamada hummed, “You won’t use it even if he insists won’t you?” Hawks nodded, “Wouldn’t even dream of touching it.” The words made Aizawa’s normally mild grumpy features a tad bit more intense before he shook his head, turning to the other to double check their double checking. Then turned to kneel in front of Eri, giving her her own run down on behavior and what to do in case something happens. She would nod and listen closely as he spoke to her. Yamada leaning over to Hawks, “This is our second night out since she’s joined the family,” he hummed softly, Hawks nodded, “Explains why your husband is so worried.”

A beat passed before he continued, “There really is no reason to worry, I promise. If anything happens I’ll be there and if we get separated I’ll make sure she has a feather on her at all times so I know where she is.” Yamada nodded, seeming to be a bit more comforted at the thought of the number two hero being so adamant about keeping his, technically, adopted daughter safe, “She’s too young to have seen so much and I just want to give her a fun night with good memories you know?” Keigo asked the other, “A few good days can go a long way, that much I know.”

Yamada nodded, as if he could hear the mask fall from its place and land on the ground, “I trust that you’ll do fine with her, but I would recommend telling us if you accidentally stay out past bedtime or my husband would have a heart attack.” Hawks chuckled lightly and nodded, “Will do.” Finally, Aizawa stood up after one determined nod that he and Eri did together and a small fist bump.

Turning to Hawks he nodded once, “You got this?” In return he hummed reassuringly, “Mhm. The night will go fine. If you want once we’re out I can send you where we are.” He offered and the older hero nodded, “That would be fantastic. Thank you.” From that point, a “no problem” from Hawks lips, and a quick goodbye Hawks and Eri were left alone after she watched her parents leave.

Once inside he closed and made sure to lock the door, making his way to the living room he turned his head to Eri, “So what do you want to do before we head out for dinner?” She seemed to hum at the question, as if she wasn’t really sure, and honestly neither was he. That was until an idea popped in his head, “Would you like to build a fort?”

She tilted her head, “A fort?” The question caused him to smile and nod, “Yeah, a pillow fort. I used to do them whenever I could. Take pillows and blankets, set them on the ground, get some chairs and large blankets to put over them.” Her eyes seemed to go wide at the idea, “We can make one now for you to sleep in later after we get dinner and such.” He offered, and she ate it up like it was cookies on Christmas, “That sounds like a lot of fun!” Her soft excited voice exclaimed.

Smiling back he nodded, “Alright, where are your extra blankets?” Eri scurried off in a direction as he followed, “Follow me! We have a bunch!” She squealed as she brought him to a closet in the hallway, opening it to reveal the stacks of blankets and sheets. Reaching over he picked up two fitted sheets and several blankets, “Grab as many pillows as you can.” He stated already walking back to the living room. She nodded and bunched up several in her small arms and followed him like a duckling. After a few more trips for pillows the living room was filled, “Looks like a mess now Eri, but just wait.” 

She looked at him with hope and a slight bit of admiration, the smile that people said was rare forever present on her face as he got to work setting out the thick comfier blankets on the ground as a padding in front of the TV. Eri picked up on what he was doing and grabbed one of her own to place them down with him. He watched from a distance and secretly fixed up whatever she missed. As they worked on the ground he sent out several feathers to collect four chairs.

Once the four chairs were carefully brought in he set on in each corner of the space, an opening between all of them. She watched as he brought them in and adjusted them, pausing for a moment with a thought. Sending out a feather on a search he smiled to Eri, “Alright, we can put the large fitted sheet over the top of these chairs,” he pointed out, “And then use the smaller and thinner blankets to cover the sides and make a door out of them,”

She made an, “Oo.” Sound while nodding. The two of them picked up the fitted sheet and placed it over the tops of the chairs, in the meantime his feather came back to him, setting down the safety pins on the couch in case he needed them later. Then they both took up the other thin and small sheets and draped them around the sides of the fort, Hawks used a throw blanket for a door that was folded over in half that Eri could pull down as if to “close” it. He also kept the “wall” that faced the TV open for the time being in case she wanted to throw on a show.

“Alright Eri, it’s almost finished, go grab some stuffed animals and whatever you want to keep them in here.” She nodded and quickly ran off to her room, giving him a moment to survey the room. Family pictures and home decor scattered around the warm home. On a table of sorts set off to the side he spotted a small black cylinder and smiled, “Alexa. Play Absolutely.” The feminine voice responded with, “Absolutely, Story of a Girl, by Nine Days. On Amazon Music.”

The music flooded the room and he couldn’t help but bounce his head along with the beat, Eri rushing back in with several toys and stuffed animals in her arms. Hawks had just about finished the rest of the fort while she collected her stuff and it made her beam at the sight. Dropping to her knees to shuffle past the throw blanket and inside, “Thank you so much Hawks!” She yelled out gleefully to him, taking his heart and squeezing it, “It’s no problem kid.” He hummed and looked at the time, “We still have some time before we should head out for dinner, want to watch an episode or two of a show of your choice?”

She nodded eagerly and moved to the side, patting the spot she was in, indicating that he should sit next to her, “While I may not fit I can certainly do my best.” He chuckled softly as he struggled to crawl in, pulling in his wings as best as he could and then sitting with the remote in his hand. Going through the recordings she pointed out a show, Max and Ruby, so he pressed play.

As the episode played on in the background he couldn’t help but feel his meek wings twitch, feeling slightly trapped even though they’re a fraction of their real size. The desperate need to preen and fix the hard to reach feathers hit, to twist his whole body and flatten them down. Uncomfortable in the situation the feathers fluffed up, as if to defend him from a larger threat. Keigo didn’t want to worry or freak out Eri with anything he might do. The distant echo of his previous trainer rang in his head, how the public, the children, only wanted to see the wings. They didn’t want to see the disgusting side effects of his only commendable feature. 

But, one handler would whisper softly to himself, so no one heard the older man, at least he has that face. 

The thought nearly wrecked him, an uncomfortable and disgusted shudder rushing up his spine as he swallowed down the bile in his throat. The man thought that no one could hear him, but Keigo did. The thoughts only made his wings involuntarily push up in size. Large red eyes fell on them and a soft voice came out timidly, “Are you okay Hawks? Your wings are all, big?” It was as if she was scared to ask. The disgust from one memory left him as another one flashed in the back of his eyes. It was blurred after the years of training and distance from the person he spoke to.

  “Momma? Are you okay?” The young boy held a plushie of a popular flame hero tight in his arms, a gift from a relative of a family friend who sold drugs to his parents. He got it when he had to go with his parents to their house, the two parents leaving him in a room with teenagers and young adults. The only kid. The only six year old. His stomach had twisted at the smell of fresh pizza, a small and upset coo left him that he tried to push down. They asked him if he ate that day. He said no. They asked him if he ate the day before. He said no. They asked him when was the last time he ate. He didn’t know. They gave him all the pizza he asked for that night. An older lady stood and brought him a wrapped gift, it was supposed to be for her nephew but said that Keigo needed a hero in his life. The toy hadn’t left his arms since that day. 

His mother hissed at him as he tried to approach, and timidly ask her a simple question, “Keigo, you useless child, what do you think!” She cried out, skin already bruising from where his father's fists had made contact. Tears streamed down her face as his grip on the toy tightened, “Can I help-” his mother screeched before he got a chance to finish his sentence, “Yes! Yes, you can leave!” Her screams continued, words pushing him out the door and into the streets for the night. She found him the next day sleeping in a large box with a filthy blanket over him, toy still clutched and his face tired from the tears he wept the night prior. She brought him back home saying to never leave even if she yells at him. She said she was only drunk.

He never asked her if she was okay after that.

He saw those same timid eyes he wore before running out of their house on the small girl who probably never asked adults anything unless she knew them very closely, or knew that they wouldn’t mind answering. He saw the girl that was still healing and pushing herself to adjust to a life she just started. He didn’t want to worry her, but neither did he want to lie to her. Keigo had a feeling that she would be able to tell anyway. So instead he gave a soft smile, “Yeah, a few feathers got stuck out of place and just need to be fixed is all.” The words he spoke didn’t dare delve in too deep why such an uncomfortable feeling caused such an intense reaction. 

“Can I help?” The words were even quieter than the first question she asked. Keigo paused at the three words, the eight letters. Ghost touches ran over his wings. Gentle. Warm. Comforting. The hands he wanted to lean into again. Gently grabbing his own arm that bounced, desperately wanting to scratch at the anxious itch that formed on his left arm, he pushed all visual tics down to just a burning need to self-destruct. Before Touya it was his mom. She hurt him. She made him cry. He didn’t want those memories to be tied to her. Then it was Touya. Touya died. Touya became Dabi. He didn’t want something so special to be related to him. Not anymore.

It pained him to nod gently to her, “Yeah, yeah you can. But you have to be very careful okay?” Her mouth was pressed into a thin line, “I will be, I promise.” He nodded and turned his back to her, “You just have to pet them basically, like you would a cat,” he started explaining, “If one seems crooked you just straighten it out, but remember I can feel it.” She nodded. A moment passed before a small hand gently pressed into the top of his wings where they bent instead of at the base. The hand dragging down was slow and careful. Timid and shy. It wasn’t like how most kids touched them, with quick grasps and a tight grip. Eri seemed to understand when he asked her to be careful and acted by those wishes.

His mind couldn’t help but compare it all. His mother was brash, but she knew what to do so it never bothered him, she always knew which feathers to straighten, the problem areas he constantly had. Her hands were nice against his wings, but that was only when she was sober enough to help him. Touya was warm, incredibly so. It took him some instruction but his fingers would push past the surface and fix the feathers under the outermost layer. His care being the most intimate and adored. He was always careful and some nights he would seem to give each individual feather their own attention. Nights like those would push Hawks into unconsciousness, but times when he could, Keigo would make sure to push the other down and rest his head on the cool chest of the redhead. Falling asleep with one leg hooked across the others waist, with the other forgotten and resting behind him, arms to each side of him as the warm hands would continue to preen. Occasionally his hand would trail up and pet his hair which caused a small chirp to fall from Keigo every time. Some nights Touya would hum a familiar melody in return.

The treasured memories seemed to make their way through, being tainted by the present situation. He forced his mind to go back to Eri. She was by far the most careful, and her hands were easily the closest one of the three to feel most like family, or at least someone who was like family. Eri had seen so much evil in her life that she just seemed to understand him much better than most, she was a perceptive child too so she could see through him. Just like her dad. He couldn’t help but smile to himself at that thought. Her fingers were still a child's though, she didn’t breach past the surface but the action alone caused him to relax. The small wings flattened against him as she continued to pet them carefully with her cold hands.

Soon enough the episode they were on finished and he let out a hum to her, “Why don’t we go to dinner?” The words he spoke were quiet, so it didn’t break the air around them. Nodding she pulled her hands away from the relaxed wings. She was no expert but he appreciated the gesture, “Alright, let’s go pull on our shoes and head out. I have a place in mind, you trust me enough to make the right choice?” She nodded again and he smiled back. Eri scuttled out of the fort and he followed behind, heading to the door to slip on his shoes while doing so he requested an uber, making sure to hit a few more options for some extra privacy and speed.

Soon enough the two sat in the car that drove them to the restaurant that Keigo picked, a small Present Mic figure in Eri’s hands as she looked out the window to the outside world that just seemed to fly by. It reminded Hawks of himself when he was younger and the few times the Commission would move him between locations. Wide eyes taking in the streets from ground level instead of high up and stationary in front of his window. Which was before Touya. He bit the tip of his tongue as the times they had snuck out ran through his head. The few times Keigo got to be a teenager. The carnival, the roller skating, the underground concert, the swimming, the festival, the fancy dinner and a movie, along with all the trips to the mall, all the clothes he got, all the makeup that the other helped him pick out, the accessories they picked up, and all the food they ate that he was told by his trainers to never even think about.

In exchange for such happy memories, the thoughts of how their trainers had raided their things after the incident at the gym invaded his mind. How they threw away all the clothes. How they broke the accessories in front of him in anger. How the makeup was thrown at him as profanities were flying out of his handlers mouth. How he wasn’t able to tell Touya about it like the redhead made him promise he would at the carnival. How he cried. How he refused to eat. How he nearly died.

How he tried to die.

A small, gentle hand pressed lightly to the side of his wing and pet it carefully. The movement caused him to jump slightly and look over. Eri looked worried before giving a shaky smile, “Your wings got big again.” Was all she pointed out, the grip on his pants was loosened once he realized that he was holding the fabric so tight. He let out a held breath as he relaxed. She didn’t say anything else or ask why, just saw something and did what she could. He gave her a sad smile, “Sorry, didn’t realize that they were doing that.” Eri hummed in return, letting her hand fall, “It’s okay.”

Her reassurance was probably the best he’d ever gotten.

Then just like that they were in front of the restaurant, Hawks thanked the driver again and again, hoping the man wouldn’t spread the word that he was letting kids touch his wings now. Turning around he faced Eri with a smile, extending his hand for her to take before leading her inside the calm and spacious restaurant. The room between the tables is large enough that you shouldn’t hear anyone unless they were causing a serious ruckus. The wait staff recognized him from his several previous visits and beamed at the sight of him. They had no idea about the child with him who seemed to cower behind him a little as they glanced down to her. He simply requested a table for two by a window on the second story, where most people won’t look in.

Of course the two were seated just about instantly. He ordered himself tea while Eri paused to think and said tea as well. She seemed a little nervous about being in a restaurant, her eyes flicking between the open space and the window as if she was worried. As they waited for their drinks he finally spoke up, “Before I forget,” He brought a feather to his hand, his healthiest one, and extended it to her, “Here.”

She looked down at the feather questioningly before flicking her eyes up to his as she reached over and collected it in her own hand, “Why?” was all she said, “Want to know a secret?” The offer of being entrusted with hidden knowledge made the young girl look up with wide eyes nodding eagerly, “Well, my feathers can detect where people are and what people say. The air vibrates when anything moves.” He explained with a smile, Eri nodded after a moment, “So if anything happens to me you’ll know?”

“Exactly.” The action seemed to reassure her and she tucked the large red feather in her pocket. The teas came and their order was taken. A quick text to Aizawa that everything was going fine was sent. Gentle talk about shows Eri watched and all the boring work Hawks would do, with a few stories about him helping old ladies cross streets and save kittens from trees. She would look up at him with large eyes and ask him a question, and then another, and another. The flow of it was all natural, and sweet overall. Whenever they hit a patch of silence it wasn’t awkward. Instead it featured a young girl munching away happily at her food while her babysitter for the day followed whatever she had to say.

 When the bill came she looked as though she wanted to say something but opted to not say anything. His curiosity piqued, he looked over, “A penny for your thoughts?” he pondered out and she looked down as if shamed by some invisible force, “It’s nothing, really. I just don’t want to ask you for anything more.” His heart clenched and he couldn’t help but feel his smile slip into a soft frown, leaning in with his arms on the table he looked over, letting Keigo take the reins, “I never spend my money on anything, and I have plenty to give to you. I’m looking out for you today and I’m perfectly fine with you taking control and asking for something more,” he let a warm smile spread across his face.

“So ask away, please.” He verbally nudged the child to a confession. She seemed to take in a deep breath and steel herself for it as she looked up to him with a determined face, “Can I get a dessert?” Her words were completely serious and it melted Keigo’s heart. Letting out a chuckle he nodded, “Of course.” He ushered over their waitress and asked for a dessert menu. It was on their table like lightning and Keigo slid it over to Eri who glanced over the pictures and got visibly upset looking between two choices she considered the best.

He ordered them both for to-go. 

As they waited for the desserts to be brought out he rubbed at his jaw as if in deep thought, “You know,” he leaned back, pursing his lips and pushing them from side to side, “You’ve been just, an awesome kid today.” He started, her eyes catching extra lights at the praise, “So I was thinking,” he leaned over the table with a mischievous smirk, “We could go to the candy shop next door. Get you more sweets and annoy your dad just a little when he gets home.”

The offer had her pause before giggling at the idea of her dad doing his best to regulate the sugar in take, reminding her of what Pa had said to her once and how she got so worried that her dad would be mad for annoying him. The reassurance that this was a normal joke for adults only made her feel a tad bit more at ease. Nodding at the offer she beamed innocently, “I would love to!”

His heart officially squeezed way too much for one day Hawks was basically stored away. Letting Keigo out for longer than a few minutes and not when breaking down was freeing. He felt like he was out of the cage. He felt like he was flying. The feeling only amplified as he walked with her, desserts in one hand in a bag, and the other holding Eri’s hand as she practically hopped over to the next store. Her eyes lit up the whole store as she was face to face with mountains of candy options. He gave her one of the small baggies to fill up with all the different kinds of sweets, “Go nuts kid. If you want more than one bag or something off the shelf tell me.”

She nodded and floated around the store, adding candy to her bag as she walked around. Mainly gummies and chocolates, which he insisted she kept separate in another bag. He held the chocolate bag while she held the gummies. Occasionally, she would look between the two and frown then take less of whatever kind or say she doesn’t want a certain type and try to put it back. He would stop her or reach in and put more in her bag.

Of course a store clerk came around and asked for a selfie, which he said yes to but asked her to keep it to herself until he left the store. Adding in his charm and a friendly wink she was all over the idea in seconds and let him go back to Eri. After picking up a few boxes of pocky for both of them the two went to check out, and suddenly something felt off.

Biting the inside of his cheek he turned and kneeled down in front of Eri. Opening his phone and contact list. Her fathers at the top before turning it off and handing it to her, “Until we get back, keep this in your pocket. The password is four three, four two. Then call your dad, okay?” She nodded, “What’s the password?” He asked, “Four three, four two.” Nodding Hawks handed her the phone with a smile. Standing back up to grab their other bag he thanked the clerk and fit the bag in the crook of his elbow with the other desserts in his hand.

The two locked hands again with a smile being exchanged. Exiting the building Hawks jumped slightly as someone rushed passed him to get to a gathered crowd. He mumbled out a soft profanity, too low for innocent ears, and placed the two bags on a bench in front of the candy shop, “Stay right here, they’re in our way. I’ll be right back.” He made sure to watch her sit down before warily running off to try and disperse the crowd of teens as a fight took place in the middle. Vibrations coming in every direction.

He wasn’t expecting the next few events. 

A voice came from the alleyway that Eri sat in front of. A soft murmur of her name. Frightened, she turned her head to look back to the darkened passage. She didn’t dare get up. A man came up to stand on the edge of it, coat large and hat high, “Hello there Eri,” he spoke as if he knew her, but she had no idea who the man was which only caused the panic to increase as she looked at him,”I know you probably don’t remember me, and that’s all right.” He paused, face hidden behind a smiling mask.

“Toga said that some of us should be around this area, a feeling she had was all she told us. We originally weren’t going to, but I’m happy we did,” We? She only saw the one man. She clenched the phone in her hand as she watched him, too scared to say anything. He sighed, “Well you seem a bit stiff, scared perhaps. How about a magic trick to cheer you up?”

“Oh shut the hell up Compress.” A much gruffer voice came from behind him, a man also with a large coat but darker came out, still half eaten by shadows. Eri’s body froze at the sight of him, covered in scars and small chunks of metal. He looked directly at her and sneered, “C’mon kid, let’s make this easier on all of us.” 

She didn’t move.

Rolling his eyes he crossed his arms, “Where is your babysitter anyway? Are they a hero? Did they jump into that pathetic teen brawl?”

She didn’t move. Eri was stubborn, the League members will give her that. 

Her tiny hands shook as she gripped the cellphone in her hand, hidden from their view. Quick footsteps rang in her ear and her head snapped to look as Keigo jogged to her bench. His eyes caught onto her large frightened ones, but only assumed she was worried. Until he paused just in front of the alley as the question of if she was okay died on his tongue and turned to ash as turquoise eyes met gold.

Then there was a pause.

Then Hawks was being grabbed by a searing hot hand and slammed into the brick wall after quickly being plucked from his spot. Wings feeling crushed at their base as he was forced up, feet dangling. Everything else faded out besides the other. The bags. The stores. The distant chatter. Mr. Compress. Everything, expect for those striking and furious eyes that looked into his own. Distantly in his mind he recognized Eri running off, talking, sobbing into the phone, but he felt frozen by the hands of the fire quirk user.

The memories caught up to him. All the good, all the bad. He wished he didn’t shelve away Hawks already, because the tears sprang up to his eyes quickly. Hawks wasn’t a weakness, because in this moment Keigo was. He could see it in the other too, everything held in his eyes. Except he knew the entire time, he could tell who he was the entire time, and he didn’t dare bring it up until the end.

“Give me one good fucking reason why I shouldn’t cremate you right now.” The words hissed out to the hero, ready to kill. Something registered deep inside him that the other was giving him a chance, a moment, to escape this. Which they both knew was a dangerous path to go down. Especially now.

“Touya-” his whisper was cut off as the hand increased in temperature and grip tightening, making him gasp out and grit his teeth. The icy glare only got more intense at the name, “Don’t you dare use that name, pretty bird. ” The use of the name so mockingly made the tears jump from his eyes and stream down his face, “Oh don’t try and make me pity you, Takami .”

 He wanted to run.

“Give me a reason now.”

He wanted to hide.

“I said, give me a reason. I want to hear you plead now that you know.”

He wanted to lean into the warm and comforting touch of someone who used to love him again.

Compress ran up, a sobbing Eri having run in a circle in the back alley’s trying to get rid of him, her now standing on the other side of Hawks and Dabi. The former is struggling to breathe between the heat and the tight grip, feeling unable to fight. Unable to use his wings against someone who only knew suffering that Hawks could have prevented. Suffering that Hawks should have prevented, “Dabi, she called heroes. Back up is coming and we should get out of here. Just finish him off already.”

The glare sent to gold eyes was never broken. It was held as the two spoke, Dabi’s words now slow, echoing the other mans as the look in his eyes grew darker, “It looks like I’ll just have to finish the job here.” Keigo could feel the fire under his skin power up on his neck before he cut it off by two words, “She’s seven. ” The burning paused, he continued, tears pouring freely, “She is only seven and we both know that she’s been through too much,” the burning slowly cooled, “She doesn’t deserve to see anyone die.” His voice cracked on the last word as a coo forced its way out and he couldn’t help but squeeze his eyes shut in shame. Remembering all the times he would coo after tough and awful practices, or simulations that hit too close to home, and how Touya would hold him close. Talked to him.

Dabi seemed to have a flash of his own memories at the action. The sobs of a small girl echoed loudly between the two, “Dabi just finish him off here so we won’t worry about him later.” At the other villains' words Hawks just repeated, voice broken as his vision was started to be filled by black spots, “She’s seven.” Something was processing in the other's head. Something. Maybe ideology. Maybe experiences. Whatever it was it gave Dabi the mercy to slowly let the hero down, who quickly and quite pathetically dropped to his knees to take in a deep breath. The villains were speaking to each other but Keigo couldn’t hear anything. Lifting himself up he looked over at Eri who was wrecked by sobs, opening his arms softly he smiled, strained and sad, “It’s okay. I’m okay. See?”

Her eyelashes were heavy as they were covered with tears, her small body shaking beneath her coat as she looked to him. Looking at Hawks, who only gave her smiles. Who only gave her joy. An angry red handprint on his neck, a scar on his face from the man who hovered over him when he stood next to the kneeling hero, wings crushed and still healing. Yet he only gave her smiles. 

She couldn’t help but cry out and rush over to him, letting him engulf her in a hug as she cried into his chest. Body jumping with each sob as she sunk into the hug he returned. Small wings instinctively pushing forward as if they were trying to wrap around the two of them if they were much larger.

His eyes peeked out at Compress and Dabi as they seemed to walk away, already so distant, both seeming to have mixed feelings over the situation, well, Compress seemed worried for their safety, upset that they didn’t have Eri, and pissed that Hawks wasn’t dead. Dabi remained an enigma to him, he could only guess that the feelings were mixed. They always were.

That left the small girl in his arms. Shaking as he held her, a hand coming up to place it on the back of her head. He didn’t know what to do. So he did what was done to him. His breath was shaky as he started to mumble out the lullaby-esqe song in her ear. Rocking her to the beat. It was hard to sing Northern Downpour, or even listen to it.

It was the song that Touya had played for him when he freaked out at their underground concert visit, unused to the incredibly loud surroundings Touya had managed to snag some poor fools phone and earbuds before plugging them into Keigo’s ears to drown out the sound and relax. After that the other would hum it constantly. Sometimes he would sing it out and in return Keigo would sing the voice that echoes back to the lead. He never caught onto their names. The last time he heard the other sing it was when Keigo knew no one would help heal him because they were looking to get rid of him. Touya mumbled the words softly, desperately trying to get the other calm, to ensure that Keigo remembered him for all the good reasons, and Keigo picked up the verse of the song he normally sang in a shaky and broken voice, by the end of the song he paused when the other didn’t move. Sobs had taken over again before he could get the sentence out his mouth.

“I messed up that last verse. We have to try again. Please don’t go yet.”

He would have repeated that again if Touya did manage to make it through for another round. Keigo constantly begging for just one more time together.

But now he held Eri in his arms tightly, tears rushing down his face as reality hit him. He wasn’t able to escape those bright blue eyes like he was hoping to earlier. It caused his voice to waver, hands moving to grab his phone that was tightly grasped in her hands out of fear, feathers pulling out his earbuds and connecting them. Pulling away from the girl to place them in her ears and pulling her into another tight hug as he scrolled to find the song, finally hitting play. He could hear the gentle song play through the earbuds.

Not only that but she seemed to relax. His arms still tightly around her, her head still pressed into her chest. He felt so weak. He felt like he failed her. He should have done better. He should have done more. Quick footsteps on concrete was heard. Hawks didn’t have to look up to know who it was. Pulling away again Eri, with her tear stained face, looked over to her parents who were rushing over. Both quickly fall to their own knees to look over her, giving Hawks the opportunity to zip up his jacket in hopes of hiding the nasty print on his neck.

As Yamada asked Eri hushed questions, Aizawa looked over, worry and anger in his eyes, anger that genuinely wasn’t for him but Keigo couldn’t tell. Hawks nealy flinched away, deep down knowing that those feelings of worry, “Wrong place wrong time,” he stated looking down, “I had Eri sit down to break up a fight that was in our way, they were in the alley, and just-” he felt words die on his tongue as he looked back up. An array of emotions on the other's face. Eri’s life was put on the line for this, of course he would be angry. Hawks didn’t want him to be though. He wanted him to understand, and suddenly he felt like he was seven again. Trying to bargain with his handler and get the man to understand that he’ll do better in the next simulation, “I’m so sorry,” his breath was caught, hitched, “I just, we locked eyes and I just felt like I couldn’t breath after everything. After the mission, and the raid, and the memories, and the nightmares and-”

The words were halted as a hand pressed into his shoulder, trying to bring him back to reality, “It’s okay. It’s not your fault.” The words rang in his ears as he processed the fact that the other did in fact understand him. He didn’t notice the hand pulling down the top of his jacket, “Oh fuck,” Aizawa’s eyes went wide at the sight, “let’s get you to a hospital.” The erasure hero stood quickly and helped Hawks to his feet. Mic picking up Eri, his earbuds still residing in her ears. 

Keigo could only guess that the other blonde asked her about the depressing music choice, especially because once in the discarded car and on their way to the hospital Eri piped up, “Hawks?” He let out a rough hum and turned his head to her, the bags of her sweets resting between them, at least they weren’t taken during the whole run in and that he was happy for, “Why this song?” She held up his phone, the song still on repeat with an earbud hanging loose.

He smiled sadly to her, “Well I didn’t know my parents long enough to know what they did to comfort me, but I had this friend of mine, Touya.” Saying his name was like slicing his own heart open and putting it on display. He felt the front of the car tense at the mention but he continued, “We were roommates and he didn’t know much about comforting someone outside of the family. So on a night when we snuck out to a concert, my ears being as sensitive as they were, weren’t doing so great. So he pulled up the song and sat me down to let me relax.” His words trailed off, needing to fight back the tears, “After that he would hum or sing it, and I would join him as he sang and we would go back and forth. Sometimes it was to relax, sometimes to have fun, sometimes to go to sleep.” He shrugged.

“What happened to him?” she asked innocently, and he had no idea how else to respond except with the truth.

“Touya passed away when he was seventeen.”

The “truth”.

Chapter Text

The call was ice water being thrown on a resting; a healing Keigo.

He was barely out of the hospital and in his own home when he received it, bandages still wrapped around his neck when he answered with a quiet, “Hello?” The one sided conversation that took place sliced into his emotional progress, anger filling him alongside desperation. He made sure his words remained cool. Giving the commissioner on the other side what seemed like blind and ignorant obedience, but he knew what they were trying to do with the new situation they just so happened to set up for him. As the other side hung up his arm lowered while shaking out of the rage that filled him, carefully he set the device down before he threw it at the wall.

He just can’t seem to catch a break can he? His damaged wings left him caged at all times. The scar is a constant reminder of what could have been stopped. The almighty Commission bitch herself taking all he has and presenting it to the other heroes as if it meant nothing. The never ending onslaught of pity and unwanted care from older heroes. His night spent babysitting a girl he wanted to give the world to ruined by the person who replaced the only person who ever cared for him, with a hand print burned into his neck as a keepsake. Now, this.

With the increasing number of tragic hero bullshit going around UA is taking time to let heroes and teachers speak on serious matters, and he was graced by the commissioners themselves to go in and speak on abuse. The nerve of those fuckers. He knew what they were actually doing, what they actually wanted him to do. 

He wanted to go in and prep the public for a potential breach of information and for it to be released. They wanted to paint him as a helpless kid who had a good quirk and wanted to be a hero. A kid who was in a terrible situation with no way of escaping, and then the angels that are the commissioners swooped in to save him, made him, molded him. Let it be known that they took in a beaten down child who was constantly struggling for his next meal, and made him into the picture perfect poster hero. Well, almost picture perfect. They weren’t too happy with the scar that now rested on his face. He couldn’t bring himself to care anymore.

The anger inside never seemed to quell. Everything started to irritate him. The loving messages from Aizawa and Yamada were met by silence from his side. The small part that once told him that they cared for him was hushed by how purely angry he was, reminding himself that they didn’t care because nobody cared. That they probably put up the act so that they would infiltrate and shatter the mask, make him hurt just like all the rest did. Any projects he would start would end up trashed when he couldn’t do them right. Feeling like a failure again and again, he couldn’t handle it. He gave up on trying to learn how to cook. He had a huge amount of money and never used it, he could get someone to deliver him three and a half stores if he wanted to. Yet he never did, the anger sometimes forming into guilt in his gut, which turned into him pushing away plate after plate.

It was something like a relapse. But it wouldn’t be that much of a problem, right?

It was worse at night, when he was trying to sleep but each time he closed his eyes he saw Touya’s bright blue iris’ that were soft and caring, or Dabi’s striking azul colored eyes that burned with hatred. The anger filled him at the mere sight of each of them. With grit teeth he would thrash in his bed, throwing pillows and blankets off him after he would craft a careful nest of them. Hatred filling his veins. Why would he do that? Why would he just not tell him? Why did he not contact him after he became a hero? When he could hide him? Why did he just not let Keigo give him the help he needed? Why didn’t he come back?

Why didn’t he come back to me?

When that question would inevitably enter his mind each night was when he finally broke down. Each night grabbing his comforter and as many pillows he could gather and placing them back on his mattress, burying himself under the mess of it all, and then finally letting the tears slip. He swears he’s done more crying in the past week than he has his whole life. He was in pain and he knew it. He needed help, but who would care enough to listen and actually try to help?

Who would even care about Keigo?

He knew the answer to that one.

No one.

Maybe that realization made it harder to walk to the large school. Harder to walk to the top class of the school, the shining star out of them all. He came in late so the principal was the one who gave him quick instructions on what to do. Explaining how someone was in with a special quirk that could project memories or thoughts through skin on skin contact, and how Aizawa was one of the teachers who was also speaking to them today. Except his subject was a bit darker, something that Hawks wasn’t sure if he could talk about, let alone relive and project. Not being able to save someone. Pity grew for the older man, knowing exactly what he likely had to showcase to his own students. 

Hawks knew more than anyone that no matter how long ago someone close passed, especially when there was a chance that they could have been saved, guilt never left. Or at the very least it stook around for far too long and effected everything else in its path.

He nodded at the context of the situation and a warning for what likely awaited him on the other side. Those students must be heartbroken at hearing what their teacher had to go through at their age. The room was already going to have heavy air and Hawks, a known hero who’s most notable characteristic was his beaming charismatic smiles, was going to go into the room and push everything from bad to worse. He was going to be the reminder for how shitty the world truly is. Nezu looked up to him as Hawks stared forward in thought, “You know, I really appreciate you coming in for these students.” His attention turned down to the smiling animal, “I think it will mean so much to them to know that even top heroes can go through something as unpleasant as your own situation. It can give them a great amount of hope for themselves.” He pointed out. Hawks only nodded blankly, not sure how he should feel anymore. 

He walked up to the door of the 1-A classroom to listen in on the other teacher. A projection was playing and he could hear the mutters of a younger Aizawa, the aftermath of that kind of trauma. Of losing someone, followed by the present Aizawa's gruff words, softened for the occasion, “Of course like everything else in this world experiences aren’t the same, you must be able to adapt depending on the severity of the situation. Which I think you all understand already. My experiences do not mirror your next speakers, and so reactions will be different.” He finished off sadly, but meaning laced in every word. Hawks could hear how the man was holding something back in his voice and it hurt him, Aizawa was a man who did whatever he had to to bring comfort to those who need it and yet there he is needing his own.

Hawks sighed softly and rested his head back as his eyebrows furrowed. Thinking of what kind of Hawks he needed to be for this situation. What kind of Hawks did those kids need? The voice from inside let out a sigh, “Let me go see if they’re here.” He heard shuffling as he registered that the kids don’t know who is going to be talking to them, and probably not knowing about what either. That knowledge only pained him more, either it was to get the most impact across or their teacher was still putting up the mental fortitude for the discussion and couldn’t think of naming all the speakers that were coming.

The door opened and the two heroes locked eyes for a moment, a bright smile forming on his face as he waved lightly to the other, Hawks’ most known mask. The happiest one no matter the situation. But still he wore the mask to the other hero. The other hero who Hawks couldn’t find it in himself to respond to after a week. The other hero who only looked concerned for Hawks’ well being constantly. The other hero who got to see Keigo and was once again feeling like he was back at stage one. Staring a mask, a strong one too, and knowing he wouldn’t be able to pull it off by himself this time.

He turned with a sigh and moved to the corner of the room towards a bright yellow bag, “Make sure you pay close attention to this one,” Hawks didn’t notice the way he looked to Midoriya with that statement, “and if any of you misbehave or ask an inappropriate question,” Then he turned his gaze onto potentially nosy students, “You will be expelled.” Hawks’ eyebrows shot up at the statement, wow Tokoyami wasn’t kidding. With such a threat the students didn’t seem all that phased, either it was a normal threat or the others had already come to an understanding that they shouldn’t push people when they’re discussing such personal stories.

Then he finally walked into the room a bit sheepishly. Outside of his hero costume and in his civilian clothes, offering a smile to the group of students who were obviously not expecting him to be their speaker. The purple kid with spheres on his head screamed something about Hawks being one of their speakers, over this trauma stuff and how yeah, the hero should speak out about it more, and then being promptly silenced with a single glare from his teachers. Hawks couldn’t help but notice two other heroes in the back of the room, FatGum and Kamui Woods, probably the next speakers after Hawks. Kamui was known for his dark past so it only made sense. FatGums he could only suspect this time would be revolving around eating disorders. Even Hawks wasn’t blind to the magazines comparing his large form to his skinny one, the effects of such being potentially disastrous. 

Up at the podium he offered a smile, “So do any of you know what I was brought in here for?” He asked and was met with shaking heads from the students who sat in their desks that were pushed to the edges of the classroom to make room for the projections in the middle of the floor. He nodded in understanding while gently folding his hands together and leaning on the podium, “I’m here to speak about abuse.” The silence was deafening, it was obviously not what the kids were expecting, maybe something closer along the lines of What to do when your Best Friend Becomes a Villain. Instead he’s here to talk about another part of his past. A part he kept hidden from so many people for so long, he rarely even spoke to Touya about what had happened to him. Now he’s in front of a class about to not only share his experiences, but also how to help them. When he had no idea himself. Damn, he needed a therapist. 

His eyes only glanced to the person next to him who possessed the projection quirk before looking back up at the students, not entirely sure how he would go about this. He knew what to do, but not how to do it. Speak from experiences and what to do with people who have faced similar troubles? Lead the students in a large conversation about the effects? Both? He had no idea. A small ember of anger ignited slightly as he recognized the reason he’s here. Because of what they wanted him to convey. He poured water on the small flame inside of him before it could get out of hand. 

Taking in a deep breath he started, much more gently than he would ever act, “As most people know I don’t share my past, or even go by my family name,” they made me throw it away, his thoughts hissed out bitterly to, “Which can be a potential indicator in some situations.” Like Touya’s. His speaking felt awkward, and strangely forced. Hawks genuinely had no idea what to say and it was showing. Making things worse he simply didn’t want to be there. He didn’t want to pour out his past to kids who likely saw him more as a real hero rather than Hawks, the child wonder.

He threw the thoughts away as he turned to the person next to him, their hand stuck out to take his. Carefully wrapping their hands together he thought back, which was incredibly hard. The memories hazy over time, “I must apologise. I can’t remember much from this time. It was a long time ago, and I was one of the lucky few who managed to escape it at an early age,” He jumped from the pan into the flames. Which subsequently got him burned now.

The class looked on to the projection as the visual of a small, timid child came into view. A few visible bruises on his arms as he clutched to the hem of an overly large shirt that rested on his small frame. The two heroes in the back of the room watched on as well, FatGums brows pushed together as he looked on. The large hero noted that Hawks was far too small to be that old. Too skinny. Then two more figures appeared next to him. One of a frail thin woman with pale skin and white wings resting on her back, looking purely angelic, if only she was. Her messy hair and distant eyes told a different story. The other was a much larger man, much larger than Hawks is now even though he’s a fully grown adult, he obviously got his frame from his mother. When the man appeared he could see the look of faint recognition on Midoriya’s face before a sudden realization. 

Luckily he didn’t speak out on where he knew the man from. 

“Those two wonderful looking people are my parents,” he spoke with sarcasm dripping from his lips, throat going dry as he tried to think of where to start. Questions, “An unnerving trend I’ve seen over the course of my life and my career, as well as another potential indicator, is struggling to ask questions. Because asking them could lead to unwanted results.” He let the memory fade into view. Mother sobbing on the ground, Keigo coming up to her with his plush tight in his grip, asking her if she was okay, the yelling, the being forced out. He didn’t show them how he spent that night afraid he wouldn’t be able to come home as he cried into a toy that was originally never meant for him, and clutched to a blanket that was thrown out to the strays.

Just looking on at the image twisted something inside of Keigo. His legs feeling as though they were going numb, a pain forming in his chest growing from anxiety, a small patch of skin on his left arm started to itch slightly all while he clenched his teeth. The need to look away, ignore what’s in front of him, dissociate and let everything run free, grew.

“Gentle assurance and patience is needed to help victims feel more comfortable,” another, much more recent memory came into view. Eri and him at a table and her telling him that she was afraid to ask for more and him letting his usual cheery self slip so she could be eased more, “Sometimes it’s asking for something, or asking them about anything.” He offered to the students who watched on intently.

The projection of her helped him relax. The pain faded into a dull ache, giving himself a chance to take in a deep breath while the kids looked onward at the sweet interaction between him and Eri. It was a palate cleanser. It clicked in his head. Show them the bad, and then calm the students down with the good. If he does this right they should take in what they should do and remember the moments of healing more than those that hurt him.

Keigo didn’t realize that this was going to be all thrown on its head.

It was after a few more examples. Odd hours of being allowed in the house, having minor injuries and constantly blaming it on something else, both of which things he went through. Even still he didn’t show them too much, like how once he ignored the house hours desperate to get something to eat only to be kicked out and screamed at by his mother because she was “working”. She worked more once dad was out of the picture, so that meant more strange men in their home, so that meant Keigo would be outside more. Or how when he would go to the park the other kids would ask about the bruises on his arms. They got weirded out whenever he said his dad, and then ignored him. After that happened a few times he would just say that he fell.

Then for the “good” hopefully more memorable side, he thought of the kid he found in the park by himself while Hawks was on patrol, saying his parents didn’t want him in the house. After Hawks sat with him to ask him some questions the kid had come clean to him by accident as he answered the hero's questions. The students took notes over the questions he asked that managed to get Hawks to crack the case wide open. Another scenario being of a separate time when he was walking through a small neighborhood and spotted a kid patching himself up with an abundance of bandaids. Hawks managed to find a way to help him through a similar tactic such as the last one. Carefully picked questions and happy smiles, except that time the father came out to yell at Hawks for bugging his son and letting Hawks confirm that the kids statements were true.

Then Midoriya raised his hand, and Hawks was just so smart and asked him what his question might be. His hand slipping out of the projectors to point at the greenette. 

“Well, there are kids out there who have,” a pause hung heavy in the air, “ special situations. Do you have any of your own?” Hawks couldn’t help but stare at the other, slight shock in his eyes, a beat passed and his tongue shot out to lick at his suddenly dry lips. They knew. Mind working faster and faster by the second as the thought of the students knowing sunk in. They must have heard part of what happened to Touya from Todoroki. While they don’t know specifics or even the truth with some areas of the Commission's story, at the very least they knew something wasn’t right about the GT Program. 

“What exactly do you mean?” He questioned the other back, who in turn seemed a bit frozen at the rebuttal before steeling himself again, “Take Eri for example,” Hawks tensed up under his jacket at the mere mention of the girl, “She-Overhaul was trying to have control over her, and use fear to make her do whatever he wanted. He was, in a sense,” he stopped to look at his desk, obviously uncomfortable as well before looking back up at Hawks, “He was grooming her. There’s just, more types of abuse out there and the effects have such a large reach. And here you are to talk specifically about the topic. So what I guess what I’m asking is,” Green eyes met his own, determination filled and strong, “If you’ve been through any other type of abuse than just domestic.”

“Make sure you pay close attention to this one.”

The words of the teacher rang in his ears and suddenly he knew what they meant. He heard that Midoriya could connect dots pretty easily and fit the puzzle pieces of most situations together, so he must have put together something after Todoroki spoke about his brother. 

Breath held Hawks paused and there was suddenly an internal conflict. Hawks wanted to say no, no he hasn’t been in any other abuse situations. No, because he knows what the Commission wanted him to do here and doing the opposite could cause so many issues for him. They could bullshit their way through his actions and string them together in a way that makes it appear that he broke one of the rules, a shiver ran up his spine at the idea. He could say no because the last time he didn’t do what the Commission told him to do, “Don’t get attached.” He nearly had his back burned off completely along with his face.

But then there was Keigo. Keigo who still screamed about Touya. Keigo who curled into a temporary nest night after night to cry in after throwing all of the blankets away from him. Keigo who was so tired of being forgotten on the shelf, tired of being trapped in a cage. Keigo, who still missed Touya, wanted to heal him, and maybe manage to lean his cheek into those warm hands just one more time.

Keigo who was pissed. Pissed at the Commission for revealing what they did to him to other pro heroes. Pissed that the Commission took his name, took all he had, and shattered it on the ground. Pissed that they were making him do this idiotic presentation because no matter how he presents it to these kids they will never understand, because he refuses to make them see all the horrors he saw. Pissed that they made him take the mission. Pissed that they forced him to Dabi. Pissed that they took away Touya. Pissed that they killed him, and nearly succeeded in killing Keigo too. Pissed that they tried to just have the empty shell of Hawks instead. 

Well fuck the Commission. Fuck their rules. As Touya used to always say, fuck it. He was going to reveal them, and their dirty work, on his terms instead of the other way around. He was going to open himself up to these kids, but not because some principal asked him to, not because someone said it would be good for his mental health, and definitely not because the fucking Commission told him to. He would lay himself bare because he wanted to.

The once doused flames of anger was suddenly relit as if he had instead poured gasoline on them rather than water. They pushed against the barrier of his skin and he desperately wanted to yell then and there, but that’s not how you play this game. You play by standing up and acting as professional as possible, give yourself credibility without anyone having to look you up, and explain things in such a way that they match the subject already on the table so the other side can’t use it against you. He will never stray from the topic of abuse and its effects.

“Yes.” The word was as simple as the answer.

Hawks was shelved after the mask broke down the middle. Keigo wore the other half. 

Clearing his throat he composed himself, taking a deep breath, “Manipulation,” he started, “Is an abuser's greatest weapon.” The words were much stronger to everyone in the room. Hawks held back but Keigo refused to do such a thing. He let his hand slide together with the other person at the front. While for the most part they’ve been calm through the presentation they now look nervous. He gets it. He can also imagine all the paperwork they had to sign to keep them quiet.

As their hands slipped into each other the scene came into view. A much younger Hawks, tightly holding the Endeavor plushie, staring up at the men in black suits with his naturally large eyes. The area they were in seemed cold, impersonal, and overall not any kind of place one would imagine Hawks to be in, let alone when he was much younger. His small voice rang out in the quiet room.

“So I can be like this person? A hero who beats up bad guys? Can I shine as bright as the man who saved me?”

The question hung in the air as the Commissioner looked down to him, understanding seeped into the viewers of the projection, “Of course you can. You want to be a hero don’t you?” The younger Hawks nodded, a shine in his eyes now present as he looked up to the man. The scene faded. An air of fear grew at the sight of the next memory. That same young Hawks, now in a hospital gown, blindfolded , and men in black suits were instructing him. His hands were folded together and squeezing each finger with worry.

A small hand went to raise the blindfold, only to halt by a cold and sharp voice, “Hawks.” In the back of the students' minds they realized that Hawks didn’t even go by his own name during training. The voice continued, “You can’t be like him if you give up so easily. You can’t be a hero if this is where you cut it off for today.”   The small hand fell slowly and twisted with the other his voice ringing out, “It’s just, the dark it-” “It scares you?” The question made him flinch. It sounded so much like his father.

“Do you think heroes are afraid of the dark?” Hawks shook his head, “That’s right. Next time, don’t flinch. We don’t want the villains to see your weakness. Run the next set of targets.” The memory faded as Keigo spoke out to the class, avoiding the looks of the three heroes, not wanting to know what their eyes said, “The situation that I was in wasn’t made easy with the forced name change. They didn’t want me connected to my family. They didn’t want me. ” He could practically see the shiver run up the backs of several students at the statement.

“They preferred to have Hawks more than anyone else, so they threw out the name.”

The pressure building up behind his eyes started and he took in a deep breath to glance down, free hand balling into a fist and resisting the urge to push out his talons, “We have already been through what physical abuse can do so there is no need to go through that again and waste time,” his voice wavered and was laced lightly with bitterness on his tongue. Clenching his jaw he looked down to the flat surface of the podium. He decided it was time to move onto something a bit more personal. Something after Touya’s passing.

“Now, this is probably going to come from a different speaker but I am going to tie into abuse as well because the effects from such can be just as disastrous especially coming from the people who are close to you, or have raised you,” He steadied himself as the memory came into view, he was young with his handler looking down to him with a glare, “ His eye markings, could we cover them up? Get them off his face?” “No, it would scar and that would just be worse. Plus he would have to wear specialty makeup so it wouldn’t smudge.” The man groaned and ran a hand through his hair, glaring down at the timid boy before him, “Eye markings or makeup? Don’t tell me I’m going to be training a faggot.” With the word spat out Keigo knew he didn’t have to explain what else he was tying into the conversation. In order to get himself to continue Keigo had to remind himself that this was no longer a presentation, but instead a confession.

“At first there weren’t too many moments like this,” he stated as the memory morphed into another, handlers whispering to each other that they didn’t like how looked up to Endeavor that much. Quiet to most, but just loud enough for an eleven year old boy to perk up, but not look over. He knew better than to look over, “That was until after,” his voice trailed off for a moment, eyes focusing on a different point in the room as if Keigo was pulled out of his body for a second, “The incident.”

The scene moved and shifted again, this time Keigo looked past it instead of watching like the rest. He was sixteen. Standing up, head looking straight down, arms behind his back, stiff and straight, but even still the nervousness of his being was obvious. Whatever was happening made Hawks, a teenager who has already completed most of his own training, look absolutely terrified. The view of the handler is what really sold it. He was pissed. A box of stuff rested next to him.

“What is all this?” Silence. “Answer me!” Out of instinct Hawks clenched his teeth, mumbling out an incredibly soft, “The stuff me and Cremator brought in.” The softness in his voice paired with the paleness of his skin, and already slimmed form was truly pathetic. The kids nor heroes would be able to tell that he was already avoiding food by this point, but Keigo could. The man hummed, something slow and far more intimidating than a yell. Hand reaching into the box, pulling out a small tube and holding it up,  “And this?” Teenage Hawks was refusing to tear up as he answered, “Lip gloss-” Younger him was blessed that he only tensed up as the tube was thrown and smashed into the wall next to him, anything more telling could have cost him more than a few tears.

The man held up a shirt, Hawks had realized too late that it was a womans but no one seemed to care when he bought it. “This?” “A shirt.”

He burned it.

“This?” “Lipstick.”

Thrown to the ground.

“What about this one.” “A sweater.”

Torn.

“Oh this one looks new.” “Mascara.”

It hit Hawks on the head. He didn’t budge from his spot.

He didn’t show weakness. He couldn’t.

His handler walked straight to him, leaving the box, and standing in front of him. Hawks stared down at his shoes, “Do you remember what I said when your old handler entrusted you to me?” Hawks remained still, “I didn’t want to put up with a queer then, and I don’t want to deal with them now.” Hawks remembered everything the man had said. Him and his old handler were older and friends for a long time, of course they shared the same close minded views. Hawks just hid all of him, and he thought he was damn good at it, but it turns out he was wrong.

“You’re lucky I don’t call rule seven like they did with your roommate.” The man turned around and walked to the box, glaring down into it. Placing the metaphorical noose on the teen without tightening it, “You’re not as weak as him. He wasn’t built for this world anyway.” The man spat out, and finally the younger Hawks’ face changed. Eyes shooting up and dilated, mere needles as he glowered at him, feathers sharpening out of instinct before softening when he huffed out.

The man paused at the noise. Then he turned his gaze to the boy he was training, now looking down to the ground, “Oh I’m sorry Hawks but do we have a problem?” Hawks remained silent. Footsteps belonging to expensive shoes loud as he marched to the boy. His chest nearly hitting the lowered head of the hero in training, “Answer the question Hawks.” The boy's voice came out neutral, opposing how he actually felt, “No, we do not have a problem.” Cheeks with the reminisce of baby fat was suddenly grabbed in a rough hand, forced to look up at the furious man, “We don’t? Your eyes tell another story.”

A moment passed as Hawks forced his eyes to relax to something closer to their normal state, “No, we do not have a problem.” The grip on his face seemed to get tighter, “What was that?” Hawks grit his teeth, “No, sir. We do not have a problem.” Another tense moment passed before Hawks was let go, resuming his previous position, “I guess we’ll have to get you back into behavioral classes, but it’s what to expect. Solitude gave you a chance to let your accent slip in. Don’t make the mistake again.” 

The memory dissipated, leaving a class of students with wide eyes, each filled with something different. Worry, sadness, pity, anger. Everything. 

“That is a load of fucking bullshit!” A blonde student screamed, “Kacchan!” The blonde only ignored the greenette to yell, “Why didn’t you do anything? Why didn’t you run away? Why didn’t you and half and half’s brother run off into the fucking sunset? Why didn’t-” Keigo cut him off, a gentle hand raised from the projectors hand to signal the blonde to stop, the other shakily gripping the podium, “Because,” his voice was loud in the room, enough to catch his attention. Then it softened as he explained why with a single statement.

“Rule seven, abandonment shall not be tolerated in any form. The members in question shall be terminated under the title Deserter.”

A silence once agains flooded the room. He could see misty eyes of shocked expressions. They understood now, which is great, but he wanted to go back home. No, he had to be here, he fought with himself. Let them know the truth, “This also holds true even once you’re considered an adult, so if I wanted to retire,” his words faded into the silence as Aizawa picked them up from the corner, who has been watching on and was probably the only one able to finish the sentence, “It’s considered abandonment.”

Keigo nodded, forcing his tears to dry. Letting the quietness of the room drown them all for a moment, but he didn’t feel like holding his breath, “I will be honest with you,” Keigo’s voice was barely above a whisper, “I tried to kill myself.” He could hear the hearts of everyone in the room shatter. He could see the shaking arms, the trembling legs, the tears flowing free of some of the students' eyes, as they started to realize how fragile their top heroes could be.

“So, so many times too,” his voice was starting to fail him. Both of his hands gripped the podium as he looked down to the floor in front of him. A broken chuckle made its way out, “They’re sick people, really. After I was the one to find two hanging teenagers they gave me medication to sedate and dull the things I felt. They would set out a week's worth at a time, it was barely not enough to take someone’s life. Just an indicator that I tried if one day they came in to find me struggling to breathe with all of my pills gone.” A bitterness set back in his tone.

“What was probably worse was when I started to refuse to eat,” his hand slipped into the others once again, a visual of Hawks at a table, ignoring his food, who opted to stare off in the distance, “I felt incredibly guilty. How I was able to continue on when the others who were already gone couldn’t.” It seemed to morph between stills. A teenage Hawks getting thinner, and thinner, and thinner, it was grotesque and disturbing to watch, “Eventually I could barely train, but they didn’t care.” Keigo’s throat felt dry as he watched on, “That was until one of the other kids took their life and realized that there were only two left. Then they would bribe me to eat. To try again.”

Tears threatened to spill at his biggest confession of them all, “The only reason I said yes was to be what the public needed. So that the Commission would never have to do anything to other kids ever again. So that no one else had to end up like Touya.” The name felt like ash on his tongue, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Brows furrowed together as he willed himself still. Tears finally fell onto his cheeks.

“Touya,” Keigo’s voice cracked, “Wanted to be a hero so badly.” Pausing he inhaled deeply, “It’s hard to believe I know, but he did. He said he wanted to be the hero in the family that his siblings could actually look up to. Saying that if he worked hard enough there wouldn’t be so much pressure on them.” 

The memory finally took shape. Keigo resting on the top of his blanket as he looked up to the ceiling, the soft question falling from his lips and into the air, “Do you even want to be a hero?” A pause, “I know that I said that I wanted to be a hero to them. I remember that they asked, but did they ask you?” Shuffling came from the bed beside his, separated by a bedside table, before Touya sat up.

Eyebrows shot up at the sight of him. He was wearing his natural hair color, and it was back when he ate so he actually had muscles on him. Sure there were some faded marks on him but the scars were nowhere in sight. He had sat up and hunched forward. Seeing the difference of what Touya looked like obviously had much more power than hearing about it.

“Yeah,” the voice was still deep, gruff, just not ruined by cigarettes yet, “I can already tell you this much, dad is going to put so much pressure on Shoto.” The younger Keigo turned his head to him, blue eyes staring at the blanket that rested on Touya, “Maybe if I come out better than I entered there wouldn’t be so much, or maybe Shoto can have someone to actually look up to.” Keigo frowned at the other as silence rested between the two. His head going between looking at the ceiling and then to the other. Shuffling some he turned onto his side he whispered out, “You’re too young to look that sad.” The redhead let out a soft chuckle, for once to the students and other pro heroes it wasn’t overpowered by darkness, instead the laugh was genuine, “Are your wings open for tonight then?” This got Keigo to let out a soft laugh, his left wing lifting up while he watched the other, “They always are.” Touya stood up from his bed, already turned to the other, once he was on his feet the memory faded from existence.

Keigo let out a shaky breath as the memory passed, tears still falling from his face and onto the podium instead, “If I’m being completely honest, sometimes a few good days could wipe out years worth of bad ones.”

The memory took shape a bit more rapidly as Keigo slowly lost control over his train of thought. It was the carnival, picking out the simple outfit, the other helping him find the right shade of lipstick, the eating chicken, the soft kiss. Everything was more so faded together in flashes rather than coherent memories, but the story was still there.

Roller skating. The popping open the window, the crisp flowy shirt tucked into tight black pants, the falling just a few times, the moment Touya was in front of him whispering the beginning lyrics of Kill The Director to him, the intense flush on Keigo’s cheeks. Underground concert. Finding the right outfit, the forest, the getting there, the moment Keigo couldn’t handle the noise, fire, gentle hands putting in earbuds, his head on the cool chest as they swayed. The swimming pool. The hijacked speaker Touya used to blast whatever he wanted, the excitement of being caught, the anxiety that came with being caught, blood , leaving his feathers behind, jumping in, being chest to chest as they stared into each other's eyes.

 The festival, the lanterns, lighting them, blue flames were engulfing the gym, singing that same soft song to each other, laying in the grass and resting his head on his chest, leaning over the half burned body in tears. The movie, the song he likes, the tears, the rushing off to dinner to make it back in time, the sprinting off to the sounds of Touya’s screams, panicking because they could figure out how to pay for the food, terrified that Touya won’t wake up again. 

The running. The screams. Hovering over his body. Killing a man. Pushing everyone else back. The tears. The soft voice. The careful kiss. The lyrics. Joining in. Touya’s words faded out when the song's lyrics did. Hawks finishing off his verse. 

“I messed up that last verse. We have to try again. Please don’t go yet.”

“Hawks!” Finally snapping out of it, the memory continued to play as Keigo finally turned his tear covered face to Aizawa, the older man was holding his shoulders with a panicked look in his eyes. Keigo didn’t have to turn his head to know what everyone else was seeing. The handlers pulling him back, restraining his wings as Keigo cried out and struggled against them. A thick metal item being clasped over his chest that only seemed to worsen the pending panic attack, “Please he’s alive! ” 

The memory faded as Keigo finally let go of the hand that was strained against his. The person was already trying and failing to pull away, “Sorry.” He paused as he stared to the ground. What did I do? He fucked up. That’s what he did.

Turning to the students Keigo frowned, eyes distant, as if he wasn’t even there, “I’m so sorry about that,” his voice was scarily monotone as fat tears rolled down his cheeks, “I think I should take my leave. Thank you for having me.” It was like he was on autopilot. Simply turning and walking out the doors. Aizawa appointed Kamui to go next as he followed Hawks out the door, FatGum following Aizawa to get to the young hero. 

The winged hero just walked, eyes on the ground as his body moved, brain trying to register just how badly he scarred those kids. No one else deserved to see such an ugly side of the hero world, least of all kids. They didn’t deserve to see how awful the world was around them. They didn’t deserve to think that their heroes are broken. They didn’t deserve to feel like they had to get involved for someone else. He thought he had to get involved for someone else and that obviously didn’t bode well for him.

He didn’t feel like he was really in his own body anymore. Keigo honestly felt numb to everything except the large tears on his cheeks. Mindless thoughts rushed through his skull before he paused. 

He was warm.

He was being held.

Aizawa had rushed to the front of him, pulling him into another tight embrace. Keigo would have never expected such an action from the other weeks ago, and even still he can’t seem to see the older man, known for being brash and critical, comforting anyone. Maybe if he didn’t show his weakness to him that day he would have instead given him space. Knowing that bringing up old topics hurt, Aizawa wouldn’t have done all this if he didn’t feel the slight wetness on his jacket after the first time he held Hawks close. If he didn’t feel all the cracks of his being with the mask broken on the ground.

Keigo couldn’t register the fact that tears were spilling onto that same jacket once again. He only did when he forced in a breath, arms trembling as they were finally lifted from his sides, resting in the air unsure of what to do, before finally they moved so his hands could grip the front of Aizawa’s jacket. His hands continued to shake as he took in a deep breath only for it to come out a wrecked sob, pressing his face into the other further Keigo desperately tried to muffle his cries. Hide them like he always did.

Then another hand came to gently rest on his shoulder, much larger and soft. Distantly he recognized it as FatGum, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. The comforting gesture only made him heave in another strained breath to be released as a cry of pure desperation. Desperate to hide. Desperate to forget. Just, desperate. 

His breathing was rapid and he struggled to keep it steady as he cried into the others chest. He was trying to force himself out of the cry too soon. Talking, there was talking but he couldn’t hear it. Aizawa was talking to someone one moment and the next he was letting go of Hawks slowly, gently turning him to let him be pulled into a different warmth. It engulfed him, bringing him in as two thick arms wrapped around him. As he slowly came back to himself he realized it was FatGum who had absorbed him into the meaningful hug. Aizawa had left.

Keigo tried to meekly push against the other, but he didn’t budge. He just held Keigo in place. He felt like he couldn’t care anymore. Letting his body go nearly completely limp in the other's arms Keigo let him take the reins. Let himself be cared for. His breathing was still uneven and shaken, FatGum let there be just enough room to breathe and hear. The pressure his body was in was surprisingly very nice.

“Hawks?” The other spoke out gently, Keigo just let out a noise of acknowledgement, “I need you to breathe with me okay?” Hiccuping he took a moment to process the words before nodding as best as he could. His head was throbbing in pain, light, and it all made him dizzy. He heard the other breathing in so he followed, gentle reminders to breathe in from his nose, and exhale from his mouth. Encouraging lines coming from the other, reminding him that he’s fine. He’s doing good.

But he’s not fine. Neither is Touya and he could have just prevented that.

Uncontrollable breathing took over again, shoulders shaking with the weight of the world pressing down on them. He felt like he was smothered under boulders with no way out, wings pinned to the ground, waiting to be put ablaze by the person he indirectly created. Crushing blame and self loathing set in as he screamed in frustration into the hero who kept him still. The anger setting in, the fire exploding and pushing out through the seams. 

This, everything, it could have just been prevented. Why? Why? Why didn’t he just come to me? Why didn’t we just talk through it? Why didn’t he just prove to the other that he was okay, that he was alive at the very least? Did he blame him? Was he really to blame? Did he try to escape him? Was he overbearing? Was Keigo worse than what was waiting for him on the other side of society?

The thought only made him yell out again, muffled by pressing his face directly into the others chest. Ferocious anger ripped through him and he was ready to fight anything that would try to force him to calm down. But nothing did. FatGum instead just held him and let him scream and cry and do whatever he needed to feel just a bit like himself again. It was oddly reassuring and a nice change of pace. No one was trying to change him. He didn’t have to change. Not at this moment. Not this time.

Eventually the fury left him, replaced by small sniffles and tears that left his eyes because they refused to be the ones left to rest in his eyes. Everything felt so out of control and it was like he couldn’t change any of it, like he couldn’t get his hands on the steering wheel when the car was about to ram into another. Like he was going to bring other people down with him this time because he couldn’t find that normal sense of control.

But Taishiro held him together. He was the person in the passenger seat who managed to grab the wheel and steer him out of trouble. Hawks knew that one of his intern’s struggled with anxiety and confidence issues so he could only assume that he was doing what he learned with his student, or maybe even what he learned from himself when he was younger. 

Finally Hawks was just a numb mass of weight in the others arms, only to be let go when his breathing finally became even. FatGum gently pulled back, a hand on each shoulder to help keep him upright. Which Keigo was thankful for because now he felt that same exhaustion from the party. That same tiredness as his bags tried to pull him down to the ground, but the other held him carefully, “Doing better now?” Keigo nodded softly, his own hands coming up to rub at his face.

In reality, he had no clue.

“Want to talk about it?”

Keigo’s throat tightened at the question. He spent so much time going over the past and what had happened to him, that he hasn’t spoken about what has been going on with him now. He wasn’t sure what to do. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to do. The distant voice of Aizawa that seemed to rest in his head now spoke, the voice expressed to Keigo that opening up was good for one's health. Still it was distant in his head, but he knew the meaning was clear.

His fingers scratched and dug into his left arm out of habit, his eyes avoiding the others. He didn’t know if it would be better, or if he would feel better after he did that though. The consequences of what could happen if he told him juxtaposing the effects of what would happen to him if he didn’t. His lips quivered as he looked down in shame, shoulders being pulled up in defeat as he gave in, “It’s just,” he could hardly recognize his own voice as he spoke, throat cotton dry as he struggled to take in a breath that would be used to just utter the next line, “I’ve been relapsing.”

He could feel the other's arms sag against his rested shoulder, before FatGum got a chance to ask anything Keigo continued, “Just once with the, the suicidal thoughts.” It felt so painful to admit as it brought back the tears to his already sore eyes, “It was like, right after the raid. I had some pretty fucked nightmare about everything that happened. Mirko called me and told me about the meeting you held, and I just ran to the bathroom and,” his voice trailed off with a sigh, “I ended up throwing the pill bottle at the wall and just cried.” The confession hurt more with each passing moment, the more it became real, the more it manifested. The pain ate away through his chest as FatGum continued to steady him, holding him in reality. 

“It’s worse with food,” he saw the way the other stood, stiffer now at the statement. FatGum didn’t have to announce anything for why he was there, Keigo already knew enough to know why he was called. He didn’t have to pull too many dots together to build the picture, “It’s the guilt you know?” His eyes peered up at the other hero finally, “So many kids didn’t get to pull through. So many kids were taken too soon. Touya,” saying the name was like a punch to the chest, leaving him breathless in its wake, “He, you saw. He was more well built. He had muscle, was obviously better off and then, now.” His own weak hands clutched at his own shirt, “Anyone can see the difference.”

The tears felt endless in their wake, “I can’t help but feel like it was all my fault. If I was just fast enough for one day. One day. It was the one time I couldn’t make it there in time, or-or how I should have checked for vibrations when we unlocked the window. Or how I should have been more cautious and stayed there with him instead of running off for the night in hopes that doing so would solve everything they put us through.”

The larger hero frowned at how the other listed all the things he could have done differently, “Hawks,” The younger of the two shook his head with renewed vigor, adrenaline now rushing through him with his anger, cutting FatGum off, “No! No, don’t, don’t go off and tell me some bullshit on how it’s not my fault.” He hissed out, “I’m tired of trying to make all the pieces fall in a way that made it seem like it isn’t.”

His head tilted up, a desperate look in his eyes as they poured into Taishiro’s, “Do you know how hard it is?” His voice was raised, cracking under the pressure, “To see people and want what they have, because you know you’ll never get it? To wish that someone who isn’t there anymore would return? To just want to be held in the same way again? To have them hold you one last time? I don’t know if you noticed or not but we can’t fucking save Touya. I should know, while I was with them I fucking tried. Touya is dead FatGum. He-that man, Dabi is not Touya. I can promise you that.” 

A beat passed from his outburst, he was heaving, eyes glaring up to the cornered hero. What bullshit. The whole situation was absolute bullshit, “Hawks,” “What?” The young hero spat out, acid dripping out from the single syllable, “What do you mean by when you were with them?” 

He paused. That’s right. They still didn’t know he was forced to play double agent, “Nevermind,” Taishiro sighed and took a firmer hold of Keigo’s shoulders, “That’s besides the point right now. What needs to be addressed is the fact that it really isn’t your fault,” the look he gave him was determined but soft, “You gave him a chance to be happy because you cared more than anyone else did. It wasn’t your job to ensure his safety, it was theirs. They failed you. Not the other way around.”

His hand came up as if he was going to pull Keigo into another hug but it instead landed back on his shoulder, “Everything hurts, the situation is no where near ideal, far from it in fact. I can’t imagine what you’ve been through, and I haven’t felt any of those things that you brought up, but I can still hand you some advice that works after every situation that causes so much pain.”

He leaned down, so his face and Keigo’s were on level, a hand pulled away from his shoulder and he slightly pushed his index finger into his chest, “You have bottled everything in you. From every memory, every scar, every interaction, everything. You’ve done this all on your own, and that has to change. This is the first time you’re sharing it all and it’s going to hurt all over again and that’s okay. People are here to help you, but there is one thing that they can’t force you to do, something that you have to do all on your own.” Keigo wasn’t sure what it was about the other talking to him in such a manner, maybe because no matter what he was the gentle giant everyone knew him to be, or maybe it was his wording. It was like he was talking to a teenager, but it was oddly reassuring rather than offending. Maybe it’s because no one gave Hawks the time of day to ease him into anything.

“You have to let him go.”

Keigo paused, “What?” He couldn’t help it, the thought of letting go of those memories was terrifying. Touya was all the good he had. The only good he had. Sure some memories were tainted by the present, but they were all he had.

“You hold those memories of yours so closely, and I get it, there isn’t much else to look to, but you need to let them go. Go make new happy memories. I promise you that there are plenty of people willing to make them with you.” Taishiro smiled at him, flashes of how Keigo let Eri preen his feathers because he didn’t want that memory to be connected to Dabi made their way behind Keigo’s eyes, “Those kids in there are a great start. I know when I took in Kirishima to be my intern we both had fun, and I heard that Tokoyami enjoyed his time with you. Sure the memories won’t be the same, but getting to a point for that kind of relationship takes time and you have plenty of it.” The smile widened as Keigo's tears finally stopped rolling down his face.

“I know that while we would have to go on and confirm this and such, but I would love to team up with you. So would so many other heroes! You’re an interesting guy Hawks. I’m sure they would love to really meet you .” Him. They wanted to know the real him, not just the mask. A strange feeling bloomed in his chest, a small chirp nearly forced its way out at the aspect of being wanted. Wanted for the real him.

“That,” Keigo’s voice was soft, finally allowing the smallest uptick of the corners of his lips as he looked up to the other, “That sounds really nice actually.” FatGum beamed, “Well then we can all talk soon and get some team ups going for when you’re all healed up!” He lightly punched his shoulder, but the relaxing only made him more exhausted. Making him rub at his face with a sigh, “Shit.” He mumbled softly and FatGum seemed to spot an opportunity of his own. Reaching into his pocket and producing two small packets of powdered doughnuts, handing one to Keigo, “I hope you like them! I know going through all that can make anyone really tired.”

Keigo nearly refused them out of habit, staring down at the package with a pause before finally nodding and taking it in his hands, “Thank you.” He hummed out, pulling the package open as FatGum ate his first one. The moment was calm and gave him a moment to think. 

He had happy memories besides Touya. 

He had Eri’s smiling face as they built the fort.

He had Shinsou’s sarcastic morning comments.

He had Yamada teaching him how to make pancakes as they were cooking.

He had Mirko and him doing the stupidest things they could imagine when they had their days off.

He had Tokoyami, and he had Tokoyami’s first flight.

He had Aizawa’s hugs.

A soft smile appeared on his face as he took a bite of the powdered doughnut. He had more memories than he knew. He could heal. He had the chance to do better for himself now.

He could let Touya go.

The two sat and ate in silence for a while. The tears dried, even if the redness in his face was telling, his eyes a light shade of pink as he looked forward before closing his eyes. Footsteps could be heard coming from the 1-A classroom. Letting his eyes open slowly he turned his head to the person coming down the hallway. It was Aizawa, who was currently a mix of aggravated and tired. The dry dark eyes met gold and he seemed to relax seeing that Keigo was calmer now. Aizawa spoke up before Keigo or FatGum got the chance to, “The kids nearly started a riot.” He sighed and rubbed his face, “I swear, problem children. All of them.” FatGum just seemed to chuckle at the statement.

Swallowing the powdered snack Keigo looked over, knowing what he had to do, or at least thinks he knows what he has to do, “Let me talk to them.” The other two paused, well he did start it, they had a right to not trust him, he shook away the thought. No, no they don’t blame him. He was just doing what he had to, “Are you sure?” Aizawa’s familiar low voice made him smile, “Yeah. Yeah I am. I get what those kids are feeling. I kinda lived it you know.” The truth seemed to hit the two heroes who could only look back to him, “I know, I kinda look like a mess and everything, but they won’t chill until they know that the source of the commotion is okay. Or am I thinking of literally every story I heard of those kids wrong?” 

Aizawa huffed and shook his head, “No, no you’re not.” The man still looked tense, “It’s just, the helper for the day's lessons had to take a break already and Kamui couldn’t even get them to calm down. Not only that but you shouldn’t push yourself too hard right now.” Aizawa’s dad was showing while he spoke and it only made Keigo chuckle slightly, “Trust me when I say that calming down some kids is nowhere near me pushing myself.”

Standing up he stretched, letting out a yawn, “But I just might run off early after.” There was a moment as the two of them shared a look before Aizawa let his head hang some with a sigh, “Alright.” The three made their way back to the room, in a small line. Keigo had folded the excess plastic around the remaining treats while they walked. Nearing the classroom they could hear the ongoing commotion. The constant chatter was probably better than what was happening considering Aizawa didn’t seem too mad.

The underground hero was the first one to enter, the chatting continued, various lines of how messed up the situation was overall coming out of several upset mouths. Kids who have learned to do anything to save someone, upset that their next self proclaimed mission would be hard to get to.  Then Keigo and finally FatGum behind him. Keigo was the one to speak up.

“I leave to eat some powdered doughnuts for a few minutes and I come back to this?” He asked, teasingly and for a moment it was quiet. Calm. Then all of a sudden the worried students spoke at once. The noises were really overwhelming in the moment so he held up his hands to silence them.They got the message after a few paused first, which gave Keigo the opportunity to move to the front of the podium so they could fully see him. An easy smile on his face as he spoke, “I know what you’re thinking. I know what you’re feeling. Trust me, I saw it. I lived it. Already told your teacher that too.”

The room listened to the now soft spoken hero who moved to pull up a chair, sitting in it backwards as the silence for once, wasn’t deafening to him. Maybe the crying had just exhausted him so much his body was forcing him to relax, “No, no changes had been made except that any attempts to revive the project has been banned thus far.” He explained, “Does that make any of it right? No.”

Saying how it wasn’t right felt so liberating. Admitting the faults in the system, not because he had to gain trust of villains, but instead because he wanted to spread the truth was freeing, like he could fly again and he was going to enjoy the wind in his hair, “That’s why I’m telling you now. If anything happens to me, you know why,” looking up he offered them a smile that screamed determination, “But because you know that now, if they try to make a move like that you know why. You can reveal the truth if I can’t.”

No matter how much he waved confidence around he didn’t know what he was saying, he can’t dismantle a whole system by himself, but he knows that it can’t stay the same. He knows that the heroes would push for change, that he should push for change. He didn’t even know if or how he was going to try such a thing. He was just going on his gut feeling. For the first time in a long time he didn’t plan out every step before this move.

“In fact, if I have a slash on the back of my left hand you’ll know who did it, and you can quote me on that. Each and every one of you.” 

Clearing his throat he looked down to the ground, “Just remember who you are in the end, fight the good fight. You’re on the right side still, I promise, it’s just that those near the top can’t help but push things too far.” And hide so much pure corruption from the world. He ignored the bitter thoughts that always managed to force their way into his head.

He bit the side of his cheek before relaxing once more, and deciding to leave them with one last promise, not wanting to cause too much hurt in one session. He sat up straight, and dramatically raised his right hand.

“Things will change for the better.”

Then, as if he was playing in front of an audience he drew an “X” on the center of his chest before opening his eyes, a playful childlike smile on his face. 

“Cross my heart, and hope to die.”

Chapter Text

Hawks has dealt with a lot.

Hawks has locked up high ranked villains. Hawks has endured hell like training. Hawks has survived an abusive household. Hawks has dealt with so many villains that after six months it landed him in the top ten heroes. Hawks never slowed down unless he was forced to. Hawks withstood the tests of time and managed to spend most of his time that was in pain alone, and managed to survive it.

Hawks has been through a lot.

Yet he has never been more terrified of an encounter in his life than he is right now. 

As he stared up at the nice restaurant from the outside his mind flashed to after the presentations at UA. How he, FatGum, and Aizawa agreed to go out for lunch together after the intense classroom session was over. He had ended up staying to the end to hear the other two heroes speak, happy to hear that their experiences weren't as terrible as his own. Admittedly hearing Kamui’s story made him tense up, hearing familiar experiences that brought back the same old memories, but FatGum had pressed a gentle hand into his shoulder and rubbed lightly. The pressure was both calming and had grounded him to the real world where he sat in the classroom.

After pushing himself through the other presentations he had waited for the students to pack, along with the other heroes. Todoroki saw an opportunity to approach him. The poor kid was paler than usual, a slight redness around his normally untelling eyes, all while his hands gripped onto each other. The kid couldn’t bring himself to look Hawks in the eye as he spoke. Hawks remembered the quietness of his voice as he started, obviously nervous that he would trigger something for the pro hero. Nervous that a question would cause another breakdown. What he wanted to talk about made Hawks’ heart break with reality.

He wanted to know what his brother was like.

Todoroki’s confession was strained and obviously hard for him to voice. He wanted to know what his real brother was like, because he didn’t want to only see him as the villain they both knew. He wanted to know who Touya was. It broke Keigo’s heart because he was forcefully reminded again that he wasn’t the only one affected by the redheads transition. He had told him of course he would, and the other nodded, lips pressed together in a tight nervous line with his hands twisting into fists. The next question he spoke out was nearly never asked. 

Could he invite his siblings.

Of course Hawks said yes, knowing that they would want to know how their brother fared in his last years. What he was like. If he was the same. If he was happy. The two exchanged contact information for the time and place, the rest was history. At the moment Keigo thought he could handle it, as he exchanged phone numbers with him. The interaction with the rest of the Todoroki siblings, but now as he stood in front of the restaurant, that he agreed to mainly for the lighting and the fact that not many people, let alone reporters, could get in. It felt like he had signed his own death sentence, and now he was staring at the contract.

 He rubbed his hands together as he made his way to the doors, smoothing back his hair with a sigh. Getting inside just in the nick of time it seemed, a reporter being stopped from following in as he made his way inside. Heading up to the front with a smile. The lady behind the podium seemed to pause at the sight of him before quickly straightening herself up. Her higher ups must have warned her that he was coming, it was rare for Hawks to go to any new sit down restaurants, and he had to make a reservation.

She offered him a smile as she grabbed four menu’s, “Good evening sir! Come right this way, your table should be ready.” The kid spoke with gusto, practiced and well put together, too bad he would have to throw her off after a quick look around, “If you don’t mind me asking,” he flashed her a bright smile, “Would there be any chance I can get a corner booth?” She seemed stumped at the request before she nodded, “Uh, yes. Of course.” Clearing her throat she looked around worriedly, “Just one second then please.” He nodded and as she walked away he looked down to check the time. Twenty minutes early, great, just the right amount of time to second guess himself on everything he decided to do that led him here. 

Soon enough the lady came back to lead him to the back corner booth. Mostly hidden away from the eyes of civilians. Also just to be safe he told her to lead a group of three, one with pure white hair, and two with mixed colors, to his booth when they came in. Just to make life a little bit easier on everyone. She nodded and once she was gone his real waitress came up to him to ask for his drink, he didn’t want to get drunk or come off as immature to the others so he spoke out, “Just a water for now, please.”

With a curt nod she was off. Leaving Hawks alone, able to peer out into the restaurant and its patrons. If he was just starting out in his career he would feel criminally underdressed in his civilian clothing. Expensive watches, paired with nice pressed dress shirts or polos, shoes shined just as much as their wives jewelry. It made him think about his trainers. His handlers . That’s right, the Commission saw him along with the rest of the program’s members as nothing more but a vessel to use to fight. Do their business. Their dirty work.

Anger bubbled inside of him and rested in his gut, but he plastered a smile when the water was set down in front of him, thanking the waitress for her hospitality and watching her leave once again. Hawks sat back and checked his phone, fifteen more minutes. With a sigh he set the device face down. If they came in early he didn’t want to seem rude and be on his phone. This was going to be a sensitive topic to go over for everyone and he didn’t want to ruin this for them. He didn’t want to ruin this.

So instead he sat and watched the dining area from his back corner, the anger residing just beneath the surface of his skin. So many people here could afford to do so much, and yet there are far too many children in the country who go to sleep having only the air they breathe to be their dinner. The thought made him sick to his stomach and caused him to grit his teeth. He knew he already donated so much to charity in secret as it is, but he wanted to give more for the kids who needed it, and he only did so to ease his guilty conscience. With a few quick jerks of his head he sighed, no he did it because he wanted to help. He always just wanted to help

As the internal conflict was fought in his head he paused as his eyes met a pair of large ones from another table, once it clicked he blinked and then offered a smile, then pressed the side of his two fingers to the top of his head and flicked out his wrist in a mock salute. The kid, maybe five or six, had just seemed to beam at him and waved his hand frantically at him. Which in turn caught the parents attention who turned to whomever their son was waving at. Hawks only offered a smile to them as well before turning his head, not wanting to give them an opening to approach. With that in mind he didn’t want to grab too many people’s attention, so he let his gaze go idle to the table's surface, staring down as light jazz music played in the background.

The trio was five minutes late, and when Hawks looked up to see slightly red cheeks and hastily fixed make up he could only guess that they were struggling to come to their own terms over this dinner. Keigo quickly stood up, sticking out his hand for them to shake with a smile on his face. Fuyumi was the first to grab his hand, her handshake gentle but firm a small smile of her own gracing her features, “Hello there, my name is Fuyumi, and I just wanted to say thank you for letting us join you and Shoto.”

He returned the smile, “Hawks, and please don’t thank me. It’s,” he paused to take in a breath, that’s just what he had to do. Breathe, “It’s the least I can do for you.” Her smile pulled tight, as if she already wanted to cry and honestly he couldn’t blame her. Letting their hands fall, he turned his attention to Shoto’s older brother. Taking his hand in a firm but trembling handshake, “Natsuo.” He nodded, mainly to reassure the other, at the action Nastuo let out a shaky breath he had been holding. Letting his hand go Hawks was quick to back up and let them take their own seats. Fuyumi and Natsuo on the opposing side of him and Shoto, the kid sat closest to the wall, and Hawks landed in the spot where he could see the entire restaurant from his spot.

Before they even had a chance to breathe the waitress was on their case, asking about drinks and any potential appetizers. The three seemed to agree on tea, and figuring he would need to cool his own nerves for this dinner Hawks asked for some as well. She nodded and was off as quick as lightning too.

The siblings took their time looking through the menu, he had already known what he wanted so he patiently waited after pocketing his phone for good. The trio seemed to remain silent as they looked through the several entrees available, Shoto being the first to put down his menu, quickly followed by his two siblings. The waitress, being right on the dot, returned with their tea’s and any extra’s they may want to use to fix it up, then quickly moving on to take their order.

As they ordered Keigo felt anxious. There was finally a large enough opening in time to discuss everything, from ordering to getting their food. A large chunk of time to dedicate to someone who was gone. To talk about Touya. What he said. What he did. With Keigo, his old roommate, being the only person able to speak about him rightfully from his last years. Keigo collected their menus before handing them to the waitress with a smile, she smiled back and just like that she was then gone. Leaving him in a group that he wasn’t sure were birds sharing a bath or cats ready to pounce and rip him limb from limb.

The three seemed to prepare their tea however they liked it, while sharing glances between each other like they weren’t entirely sure where to start. With a deep breath the oldest of the three siblings looked up at him, eyebrows ticked upwards as they knit together, a smile filled with sadness met his gaze as she spoke, “So, you knew Touya.” The statement has seemed to freeze the table, it was gentle but blunt. Obviously not exactly what they had planned but it ended up happening anyway.

With a dip of his head and a deep breath Hawks nodded before speaking, “Yeah, yeah I did,” he wasn’t really sure what to say, staring into his tea cup, fiddling with his fingers, “He was nice.” His voice was soft, it’s been so soft recently he had to admit it was a bit strange for him that this has been his new normal, “Uh, but I’m sure you already knew that.” His eyes looked up to her, she seemed upright before taking a moment to ease into the seat with a sad smile, “Yeah, yeah I did, but it’s nice to hear it come from someone else.”

A voice cut in quick, “What would he say?” Natsuo suddenly jumped into the conversation, darkened eyes desperate as he looked over to Hawks. Realizing what he just did Nastuo was quick to rub the back of his neck, “Uh-about, us? Sorry I just,” he looked desperate and was frantic as he spoke. If Keigo remembered correctly the younger man was closest to Touya, he must have really been even more devastated when he heard about his brothers passing. Keigo could understand why he bursted out and answered, carefully reminiscing the memories he had with the redhead.

“He would say a lot,” a soft chuckle that resembled air escaping his throat forced its way out of his throat. The three watched him, attention undivided as he spoke, “He would tell me that you and him would go to the park and nearly set it on fire when he was chasing you around.” He could see Natsuo’s eyebrows press together tighter, but the corners of his lips ticked upwards. 

Turning to look at Fuyumi he took notice of a glossy shine on her eyes, “He told me how he would call you Candy Cane because of your hair, and how he always let you win whatever game you would play with him, then say you were cheating.” Fuyumi’s hand gently clutched her shirt as she blinked quickly to force the tears to remain in her eyes rather than find a trek on her cheeks. Offering her a soft smile back he did his best to keep her in a good mood, all while blinking back his own tears.

Taking a deep breath he turned to Shoto, “He told me how he would call you Peppermint, but you were so young you probably wouldn’t remember,” Keigo’s breath was caught in his throat his tongue shot out to wet his dry lips, “He never said this directly, but I’m pretty sure you’re the reason he wanted to be a hero. I know I said that before, but I think it’s important to know.” He struggled to keep his frown from taking over his face, “But you saw bits and pieces of what they would do. It was hard for everyone.”

Shoto nodded, eyes glancing down before looking back up to meet his eyes, “How did you do it?”

Hawks paused, staring at the other. It was a valid question. How did he make it through it, when Touya didn’t? Squeezing his hands together he bit the inside of his cheek, thinking before finding it in himself to speak, “I nearly didn’t.” The voice that came from him cracked. Running his tongue over his teeth nervously he sighed as he looked to the other.

“You saw some of what I went through after he was gone,” he could see the kids jaw clench at the mention of it, the flashes of Hawks frail and thin probably flashing behind his eyes, “When he came into the program he was distant, and didn’t want to make friends, made it obvious too. Tried to push me away time and time again, but in a place like that you need a rock. He was mine, and I was his.” Taking in a deep breath he sniffled slightly before continuing, moving on with the story of him and their brother, “So we became friends-ish, then to friends, close friends. Then we did something that wasn’t allowed at all and gave each other our real names to use when no one else was around, instead of using our hero names.”

Tears forced their way to his eyes again, refusing to leave but also refusing to fall, “He has been the only person I ever gave that to, at the time I was fifteen and the last time someone called me by my name I was six.” Clenching his jaw he let his head rest forward as he looked down, letting out a soft chuckle the smile on his face felt bittersweet, “Few weeks past that he started calling me stupid nicknames. Little bird, pretty bird, dove,” he let out another chuckle when he raised his head, “I probably should have figured it out earlier than when I did.”

Natsuo paused before letting soft gasp, causing Hawks to look over curiously, “I-so you were the one he would tell me about,” Keigo raised an eyebrow along with Fuyumi and Shoto which made Nastuo stutter, “He would, he would send me letters and ask me not to share them, and I wanted to respect his wishes is all. I wanted to tell you, I did but,” Those were my moments with him. The sentence remained unfinished but hung heavy in the air. At the confession Fuyumi looked as though she felt betrayed before she pressed her lips into a straight line and sighed out, “It’s fine, anyway, Hawks?” She turned back to him, trying to ignore the sudden weight that seemed to be weighing down on her shoulders now.

Looking to dissolve the tension in the air that manifested into her twitching brow Keigo cleared his throat before continuing, “Well soon after that he offered up the idea of sneaking out, and we did.” He smiled at the friendly memory, one of his favorites even if it plagued his mind at night, “We first stopped at what I’m pretty sure was your old home because he snatched your dad's wallet,” he chuckled softly and the two older siblings seemed to ease the tension in their shoulders, Fuyumi piping up, “Glad to hear that some things never changed when he left.” Hawks nodded, his own sad yet casual smile naturally returning to his face. It felt like he was reminiscing on his memories for the first time rather than being forced to face his past.

“Then I managed to fly him to the mall, because he insisted on getting me something to wear because it was my first real outing since I was taken in,” his voice continued, less quiet and more so resting on confidence that the others will enjoy hearing the stories. Just as he thought, they seemed to, Natsuo raised his shoulders, his smile growing out of its saddened state, “I’m surprised because he got motion sick so much.” It only caused Keigo to chuckle, one more real than the last, “Oh he did and he hated it when I would mess with him in the air. One time I faked dropping him and if I tell you that he could scream like a girl would you believe me?”

The question made the two older siblings laugh softly, nodding, and from the corner of his eye he could see Shoto rest his head on his own hand with a soft smile on his face, obviously the familiarity of the situation pushed them all from sitting on the edge to laying on the roof to stare up at the sky. Feeling more encouraged by the faces that weren’t pulled taunt with stress he continued, letting bits of the memory drop from the ever present wall around his eyes, letting it all crumble before his eyes so it didn’t cloud his sight. Yet he wasn’t saddened at the idea, he felt more relaxed than anything. It was strangely freeing. Was this letting go? 

“So we got there, picked out some clothes, he helped me pick out lipstick because my bird brain couldn’t pull away from the idea of having such a tiny shiny tube with me,” A smile pulled on his features more, “Then we went to a carnival. Ate fried chicken for the first time, rode some rides, he won me a small stuffed bird that I decided to name Ai.” Keigo could see a flash of realization in Fuyumi’s eyes but it only seemed to make her melt into her seat, smile softer but still so large on her face.

Glancing down he thought for a moment, biting on the inside of his bottom lip before looking back up. He had to keep up the eased atmosphere, and he knew just what to do, “Question, whenever he was being dramatic would he ever say something along the lines of, ‘Oh this is it for me, I bequeath to you all of my earthly possessions .’” Fuyumi and Natsuo seemed to pick up at the end of “bequeath” and said the rest with Keigo, corners of their eyes crinkled from the large smiles on their faces as something familiar truly resonated with them. The two held nothing back either, happily being noisy in their statements in the rather calm environment. It made Hawks’ chest soar in a freeing feeling at the sound. Another chip falling from his crowded vision of that same bleak wall.

The three of them laughed once they finished the mere sentence, Shoto looking pleased to just watch while learning more of who his brother was. As their laughs turned into fading chuckles Hawks let out a content sigh, “He knew when and how to help too,” the siblings took note of the softened tone, “Once we ran off to an underground concert, and I had such sensitive ears that when a band started they were incredibly loud to me. When he caught on he ended up taking someones phones and earbuds, then just stuck them in my ears. Of course it was loud still but everything else about it was softer. He played it until we were further away from the speakers and sat us down under a tree to relax.” He gulped lightly, a large chunk of the non tangible wall ending up with a deep crack.

“Whenever I would freak out after that, or just had a bad day he would hum it out or sing it to me. At some point he taught me the other singers part in the song and we would sing the duet from time to time,” a downcast smile returned to his face, as he struggled to turn memories that he desperately held onto, into ones truly from the past. Turn them into memories that he could smile at because they happened, instead of ripping himself apart from the seams with unnecessary guilt. In the moment he had to remind himself that it wasn’t his fault. 

“He always knew when to sing it too, I swear it would calm me down quicker each time he sung it.” A pause seemed to fill the table. Keigo wasn’t sure if that was something Touya used to do, or if it was new to them. A few moments passed before Shoto finally spoke up for the first time, “He did have a really good singing voice.” It was quiet, but loud enough for the table to hear. His two older siblings looked at him with wide eyes before Shoto elaborated, “After I would train with my father I would have trouble sleeping.” The split haired boy looked down at the table, as if he was struggling to find the right words for the story he hasn’t shared yet, “He would come in and lay next to me, at first he would try to talk to me and I would try to talk back, but I would always cry,” Shoto took in a deep breath while his eyes, that were normally so dead with a stare of nothing, quickly blinked as he looked back on his own memories.

“So he would sing this one song and hug me. Eventually he would just come in and lay down for a minute before he would start singing, I would cry but join him. Then talk about what had happened that day.” Another pause filled the air as tears hung on the others' eyelashes, “If I’m being honest it’s been so hard to remember I just thought that I just made up the scenario.” Hawks listened in, the story pulling on his heart strings. 

Another pause passed, it was an opening for Keigo to jump in, “Well, knowing how your brother was I have confidence when I say this,” pressing a hand to the others shoulder he made sure to smile and look him in the eyes, “I’m pretty sure that those memories are far more real than you think.”

Something seemed to pass in the shadow of the teenagers eyes, his own hand pressing on Keigo’s while it rested on his shoulder. Keigo felt like he made the wrong move as he pushed his hand away, only for reassurance to surge through him as Shoto pulled them into a tight hug. Keigo could tell that his siblings weren’t expecting the action, but Keigo knew that he needed it. His own arms wrapped around him to return the gesture. Deep down he knew why this was happening. He had just confirmed to the other that his brother was as good of a person as he once believed him to be. He just confirmed to him that he wasn’t just a villain. He just confirmed to him that the few memories he had of him were in fact real and not just his imagination. 

The chunk of the wall that cracked broke off and fell into the dust, and Keigo could finally see the sun shining past the remains of the wall. 

“Thank you.” Was all Shoto said to him with his head pressed into Keigo’s shoulder. It took the kid a few moments before he pulled away, taking in a deep breath. Sitting back in his seat, calmer now and seeming to have successfully avoided crying. Keigo offered him his kindest smile as he spoke., “It’s no problem.” 

Like time knew just when every moment should be placed the waitress appeared with their food on a tray, quickly and near professionally setting it out in front of them. While she did so Keigo used the moment to steal a peek at his notifications. One stood out among the rest, and he pulled it down to read it all.

Eraserhead: I was wondering if you wanted to babysit Eri again. She misses you and wants to see you again. It is entirely understandable if you don’t wish to, but the offer stands.

A smile crept onto his face, even if doubt tried to find its way to his heart he knew last time was just a coincidence. He knew that he was doing better. He knew that he was healing. He knew that he was letting go. He knew he still had a long way to go, but he’s done so much in such a short amount of time. He knew he should be proud of himself.

He is proud of himself.

Clicking his phone back off Keigo decided he could wait to respond after dinner. While watching Fuyumi and Natsuo playfully nudge each other with their elbows, all while Shoto opted to eat his noodles with a deadpanned, but slightly amused expression Keigo knew he wasn’t the only one making progress. The thought only made his smile widen as he obnoxiously bit his chicken and chuckled at their expressions.

Yeah, the world could wait if he got to experience this. 

The world could wait if he got to live.

Chapter Text

Keigo has been better.

He’s been doing better, making progress, and resting easy more so than not. That ever present wall that blocked his view of the sunshine has been chipping away, breaking down in large chunks and falling to the ground. Keigo, for once was able to lift his head and look to a bright sky with the most beautifully detailed clouds that mother nature had seemed to make just for him. It felt like he could reach his hand up, pick a small chunk of the clouds, and roll it around between his fingers. He couldn’t yet but he knew he could soon. He knew that soon enough he could fly into the air and feel the true breeze of freedom on his face. Promising himself that he would find the strength to be free from the shackles of his past as he stared up to a cloud that was in the shape of a bunny.

FatGum has been convincing him to come out more with him, going out to lunches together while he teased his interns over trivial high school drama. For once Keigo wasn’t jealous that he never got to experience the same. Instead he found himself smiling and laughing along, picking at the students over something like their homework or their crushes that they were worried would find them out. FatGum had consistently been his rock since the presentations that had been a week or so ago. The older hero managed to help him tear down the wall as well, whenever he could. For such a busy hero, he always seemed to find a way to fit Keigo in his schedule. Keigo, not Hawks. 

Then there was Yamada. He hadn’t gotten to see much of the blond considering he works three jobs and spends most of his free time with Eri, but he would send Keigo an over abundance of text messages. Filled with yellow faces and emojis of all caliber, which in turn left Keigo oddly comforted and let himself text like how someone his age would, and less like an email. The older hero would constantly check in on him and send him adorable pictures of cats and Eri, saying that both would always make Aizawa smile so he hoped it would make him smile as well. They always did.

Finally there was Aizawa. A man who shared paralleled experiences with Keigo, and yet still managed to fall down such a radically different path. A man who connected to Keigo on a different level. A man who Keigo felt like he could trust, the first one in a long, long time. He had kept in contact, also ensuring that the young hero was okay mentally, physically, and emotionally. Sometimes he would tag along with FatGum and Keigo, the three becoming an odd trio over time. It seemed as though whenever Keigo needed to be grounded to the real world Aizawa was there. Whenever Keigo needed to breathe Aizawa was there. Whenever Keigo needed help Aizawa was there. He was always present without being overbearing, and Keigo honestly couldn’t be more grateful.

The day that Keigo agreed to babysit Eri had arrived, the blond finding himself on the doorstep of the quaint home wrapped in a loose hoodie, comfortable pants, and a large shirt that he tucked, all pulled together with a nice belt. The only thing keeping him from looking like a complete hoodlum. Snorting at the thought he willed himself easy before knocking. Listening closely to the sounds of the inside. Sure enough he heard the smallest patter of feet run off into the kitchen, pausing, and then rushing over to the door and swinging it open.

Eri stood in the opening, a bright smile on her face at the sight of him, “Mr. Hawks!” She squealed in her delightfully soft tone, “I hope you’ve been doing well! I haven’t seen you in so long!” She hummed with a smile, stepping aside to let him come in. Taking a step in he brought his hand over to her head and ruffled her hair with a natural smile of his own, “Agreed, but we basically have the whole night together, and we’re not going to waste it.” The smile on the young girl's face seemed to grow as he followed her inside after closing the door and taking off his shoes. Passing through the living room which seemed to be decorated by her toys with a paused show displayed on the TV. 

Heading into the kitchen the other heroes seemed to look up at Keigo, but something felt off. Yamada was closing a case with a laptop inside, while Aizawa seemed to be closing a manila folder full of paper. Was there a meeting he didn’t know about? He forced his mind off of the question, cursing his brain for making him take in the details. He smiled at them as they finished putting away whatever it was they were putting away, Yamada beaming back and Aizawa offering a nod in acknowledgement.

The other blond stood, Keigo taking in his slightly more professional attire, but he opted to blink and turn his eyes up to the others face with a smile, “Hey!” The teacher seemed to open his arms in a welcoming gesture, “Hey stranger! It’s been a while!” He chuckled before glancing down at his watch, “Oh boy, okay we’re already running a little late so the rundown.” Keigo straightened up a bit at how forward the other was being today. 

“Same rules apply as last time, bath time, bed time, if you go out tell us where and when because you never know. There is money on the counter for food, and there is food in the fridge for food, whichever you choose as long as it is edible.” Keigo nodded, easily keeping up with the rules that were being flung his way. Aizawa leaned over and forced the blond to take the case and folder, some telepathic speak going on between them, and then Yamada went out of the room while Aizawa took over the rest of the rules.

“She can have a few pieces of candy before bed, but make sure she brushes her teeth after that. Recently she’s been having trouble sleeping so she has children's melatonin in the bathroom cabinet only if she struggles to go to bed. If she has any nightmares again she has a radio and she likes to hear stories.” Aizawa seemed to pause, switching between each of Keigo’s eyes to look at before pausing, “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but let me say this. What happened last time,” Keigo couldn’t help but tense up at the mention of it. A deep part of him whispered that Aizawa was upset about it.

“It wasn’t your fault.” The whispers were silenced, “Don’t let it scare you from going out again, please. It was a one in a millionth chance. Will I be nervous if you go out again?” He sighed, “Of course, any parent would, but I have faith in you more than anyone. I don’t think many people could have worked in that situation like you did, and I thank you for dealing with it so well.” Looking the blond in the eye he gave him a small, reassuring smile, “I have trust in you, Hawks.”

Trust. He had trust in Aizawa too. 

Smiling back at him Keigo nodded, “Thank you Aizawa, it means everything to me that you feel that way.” And for once he didn’t have to say that just for show, he didn’t have to say that because he felt like he had to. He said it because Aizawa’s words really did mean that much with so much care being placed into each syllable he spoke, whether he let it show or not. His throat tightened as he thought of his next words, a decision he had been pondering on for quite some time now, and being home for so long gave him the hours he needed, “And Aizawa?” A hum of acknowledgement came out from the older man as Keigo smiled at him softly.

“Please, call me Keigo.”

There was a pause between the two of them, a slight bit of disbelief rested behind Aizawa’s eyes before his shoulders fell, a smile so typically foriegn on his face appeared, “Of course, Keigo.” Hearing his name being said by someone he gave the permission to caused him to shake internally with exuberance. His heart swelled at the feeling and he honestly couldn’t be happier.

Yamada rushed back in with a worried smile on his face, “We really need to get going, so sorry about the rush Hawks. Already gave Eri the pep talk for tonight and everything is in the car, and said car is running.” The black haired man nodded and turned back to Keigo, “You got this. We’ll probably be back around ten, but depending on how the evening goes it might last until eleven.” He was pulling away, grabbing what he needed and walked towards Yamada with the corners of his mouth ticked up.

“See you later Hawks!” Yamada yelled out heading to the door, Eri following behind her parents to watch them drive off. As Aizawa stepped out he called out, “Goodbye Keigo.” The use of his name seemed to catch Yamada’s attention but it didn’t slow him down to get in the car. Eri stood on the porch as she watched her parents get situated in the car, with Keigo in the doorway to watch.

As they drove off Eri waved to them until the car was out of sight. Large red eyes turned to meet gold and Keigo smiled at her, moving aside to let her in, “You hungry?” She offered a small nod and stepped back inside. Closing the door behind her Keigo made his way to the kitchen and then looked around. He was going to cook for Eri, and he was determined to do so. He’s always struggled with it a bit, but he was going to stick to something simple. Spaghetti. 

He hummed softly after calling out to the Alexa in the other room to play, “My Heart is Buried in Venice” at a higher volume to hear it in the kitchen. Eri had pulled up one of the dining room chairs to the edge of the kitchen to sit and watch from afar. He could only assume that she wasn’t using her little step like she did with the pancakes because now he was a one man show. Awe filled her eyes as they followed the few feathers he let move around, collecting pots and utensils to use all while he looked through the pantry, exercising a few more feathers to collect what he saw that he needed. 

Her eyes followed as the red feathers carried the ingredients as he moved to the fridge, unable to help the smile on his own face when he sent a feather, half toughened, went up to her face to tickle her with the fluffy half. A giggle bubbled through her and it eased Keigo’s heart to know that she wasn’t nervous around him now because of last time.

As time passed and his feathers managed to settle, Keigo now rested in front of the stove, just there to tend to whatever needed to be tended to while it cooked. The heat rose which caused him to finally pull off the jacket he had been wearing, plopping it on the dining room table. As he did he passed an encased shelf, it had a mirror in the back behind family memorabilia. He was able to see himself from such a distance, his eyes landing on the angry hand shaped mark on his neck. It was bright red, and he had only recently taken the bandages off. A frown made its way to his face, he wasn’t able to get the same quirk users like he was able to for his face so it stood out much more prominently in contrast with the other scar.

Adjusting his shirt to cover up as much of it as he could he turned away and returned to the stove to finish dinner.

 His ears picked up the sound of the chair being moved back to the dining room a few minutes later, and the tell tale sign of the soft patting sound of Eri’s feet lightly hitting the ground as she came up next to him to watch from his side. He didn’t move to say anything. The silence was nice and easy between them, before she was the one to break it. A soft voice coming from beside him, “So your name is Keigo?”

He paused while stirring the sauce, staring into the bubbling redness before he gently turned his wrist to continue, “Mhm, that’s my name.” A moment passed between the two of them as Eri chewed on her bottom lip. Her voice raised again, “Can I call you Keigo?”

His eyes blinked quickly, and he would tell anyone who saw that it was just the onions that were cooking. Biting on the tip of his tongue he thought about everything he thought about when deciding if or if not he should let Aizawa call him by his name. His voice came out slowly, “Most people still call me Hawks.” He started, staring down into the pot, “I’ve only given two people permission to use my name, and the public doesn’t even know it yet.”

A small frown formed on her face, “The people who got permission to use my name had earned my undying trust. My name, for a long time, had been all that I had. It’s incredibly precious to me.” He took a peek out of the corner of his eyes to look at her. She seemed to resign to the idea that it was a no, she couldn’t use his name, “Oh, alright. I understand.”

“But,” he continued, smiling down as he looked back into the pot, “It’s not the only thing I have anymore.” He stated, “I have friends, and people so close to me that I would consider them my family. Like your dad, Aizawa,” he smiled and turned his head to her, “Like you.” Looking up to meet his eyes her mouth seemed to be slightly agape at the idea of where this was going.

“I have very good people in my life now that I would give anything to, and that includes you.” He finished off his small speech, moving to kneel down in front of her with a smile, “So if you want to call me by my name, you can go right ahead and do so.”

The young girl seemed to be at a loss for words, a glossy texture rested on her eyes knowing that someone thought so highly of her, so Keigo did the best thing he could think of. Carefully he pulled her forward and wrapped his arms around her gently. A small sniffle sounded in his ear and he had to hold himself back from sniffling back at the sound. Small arms wrapped around him and on instinct his wings pushed forward as if to cover the two. After a moment he pushed out a chuckle at another sound of a sniffle, “Oh no, you can’t cry. If you do that I will too!” He teased before pulling back.

Eri was obviously holding in tears and sounds of crying. So Keigo put on a very serious face and made sure to look her in the eyes as he spoke, “Don’t smile. No, don’t you dare smile. Don’t smile.” Giggles made their way out of her mouth, along with the quietest snort that made Keigo smile brightly, “No! I said don’t smile! D. O. N. Apostrophe. T. Don’t!” A smile formed and more giggles fell from her mouth as he stood, ruffling her hair, “You gotta get better at that game.” He teased before he turned to finish their dinner.

Feathers were sent out for plates and drinks, while a few others went to check out the living room. Sure enough there were foldable single tables in the corner that he made sure to carefully unfold while he plated food, “Alright Eri, we’re watching TV while eating tonight so head to the living room. Your drink should already be there.” She nodded and zoomed off to the living room, and he quickly tried to follow the young girl. Plates and his own drink in hand, a few feathers bringing a bottle of crumbled parmesan cheese and their utensils. 

After setting their food on the two fold out tables he plopped next to the young girl who had herself half wrapped in a blanket while pouring the cheese on her plate. Taking the remote he looked through recordings of shows for Eri. Watching her slightly as she took a bite, a sigh of relief coming from him at the sight of her not spitting it back out.

“Everything okay Keigo?” She hummed and quickly busted him out of his bubble, after a moment of quiet he nodded, “Never been better Eri.” Then selected a show to watch while he ate. A warmth in his chest as he did so. He really had never been better, and his cooking wasn’t inedible now, so double score for him. 

After a second helping of pasta Eri had found herself asleep and leaning on Keigo. When he felt her small head hit his side he knew that he couldn’t move to clean up so he sent out a few feathers to do so. There was plenty left over for Aizawa and Yamada if they didn’t feel like cooking tomorrow, and he honestly felt pretty proud of it.

As his feathers finished up their job his head turned down to look at the girl and he knew in that moment that he would do anything to protect her, and keep her from seeing any more tragedies in the world. A smile found its way up to his face as he reached down to adjust the blanket to cover her better. He really was a sucker.

A buzz came from his back pocket, which stole his attention. Carefully moving to pull it out, his smile was still present on his face. He opened his phone and clicked on the notification for an unread message from an unknown number. 

Suddenly Keigo was grounded to the real world again. One that let him know that no matter how much he healed he could never run.

Suddenly, Keigo was Hawks again.

“It feels like flying, but maybe we’re dying. A cosmic confluence of pyramids hologrammed. She knows you heard her, staging music murder.” 

His tongue sat heavily in his mouth, a hollowed emptiness was more physically present than anything, the bottom of his throat strained from worry. The world that once flew by now slowed to a stop, his teeth still holding the inside of his cheek hostage while his eyebrows that knit together gave away how he felt. They wouldn’t have another chance like this again. Not without the Commission growing suspicious in the sudden large gatherings, and with such a delicate situation with so many people to convince there could be no mistakes made.

Picking up the thick manila folder Aizawa passed the messenger bag with the laptop in it to Yamada who sat in the driver's seat. The engine cut off and Aizawa took in a deep breath and leaned back in the seat, looking up towards the top of the car as thoughts raced through his head. Their biggest obstacles and their biggest advantages. The impromptu meeting wasn’t just a meeting and he knew it. It was going to end up being a pitch. He had to completely convince dozens of heroes to pull out the hero inside of them and uproot the issue instead of constantly cutting the greenery of the weeds.

Their job as heroes was to protect in the end. With a lack of serious villains there would be less of a need, but that wouldn’t stop petty criminals, it wouldn’t completely throw society off its balance. A frown formed on his face, but such a plan as theirs could also weaken society and give greater evils an upper hand. Flashes of a smiling face that was lost in time pulled themselves into Aizawa’s view.

The purpose of their careers was to save. To protect those who couldn’t protect themselves. If taking down the Commission gave the villains an upper hand they would save people from their wrath. They would move to save society as a whole in need be. It’s easier said than done, but just thinking of it is already giving him a headache. They would have to be careful, and take each stride with confidence, plan far ahead to ensure that if the Commission ever did find out it would be far too late for them by that point. 

“Shota.” Blinking, he turned to Yamada, his hair was down, framing a worried face. Aizawa knew the blond knew just as well as he did that this wasn’t going to be easy or quick. He too knew the pure amount of risks that they were taking by having this meeting alone, “Are you ready?” The question rang in the air between them. Straightening up the black haired man nodded.

“Yes. Let’s go.”

With a nod being sent back his way, the other moved to step out of the car with Aizawa. Shutting the car door, Aizawa looked up to Thirteen's house. It was large enough for the kind of “get together” they were about to have. Setting a frown on his face he moved forward to the door side by side with his childhood friend. Taking one last moment for himself he sighed out and finally rang the doorbell, hands anxiously clutching the thick folder while they waited.

Moments drew by before the door opened to reveal the short rescue hero, a sigh coming from them as they moved out of the doorway to let the two inside, “You’re the last ones here. Some of the others are already itching to jump up and leave.” Aizawa nodded and stepped inside, “Good thing that they didn’t, we want as many eyes and ears for this as we can get.” Yamada followed behind him, a slight crease present between his brows. When Thirteen wasn’t looking Aizawa gave the blonde a reassuring nod and smile, the other in turn let out a huff of air.

After making sure the door was locked tightly Thirteen moved in front of them to lead them to the large group of heroes. There was certainly plenty to spread the word, more importantly a good chunk of the top rankings, including the top ten were there. Most importantly Endeavor was there, he didn’t seem pleased in the slightest to be but he was here and Aizawa had to make the most of it. His son explained to him that while he did blame himself for putting his oldest in the program, he also blamed Hawks for being the one to lead him out. Clenching his teeth he thought, that’s right, most of them still only knew the lies.

Luckily Kamui and FatGum were present, both of which would jump in to explain everything that they saw at the presentations. Clearing out his throat the attention of the room seemed to snap to him, the soft murmurs going dead silent. Good. They at least had an idea of what this was going to be about, whether it be about Hawks or the Commission didn’t matter as long as they knew the extent of the severity of this meeting. There was no time to waste.

Placing the manila folder down on the TV stand as he looked to the group of heroes. He couldn’t be too blunt and get straight to the point, he would lose too many people that way right off the bat, but he didn’t want to slowly peel off the bandaid either. Looking up he spoke out.

“We were all lied to.”

It was blunt enough to send a message, but vague enough about which side he was talking about. Which would instantly be fixed by the next few words, “Touya Todoroki was not brought in simply to gain control, nor was he and Hawks just roommates, but most importantly his incident was no accident.” 

Heat seemed to fill the room without the use of flames, but Aizawa continued before he could be cut off, “The kids they selected weren’t just because of their quirks, nor was it just rigorous training.” His hands slid over the folder and pulled back to reveal documents littered with the word ‘confidential’. It revealed stolen documents that Aizawa didn’t have much time to keep longer. 

Pushing through the pieces of paper to search for the participants' information the room watched him like he was their only source of light. Pulling a piece of paper out he read out loud, “Zankoku, divorced parents each in lower middle class,” his eyes moved down the page, gut twisting as he forced the words out, “The father was eliminated leaving the mother weakened. Now classified as more likely to agree to training terms.” The once serious faces of the heroes dropped, a mix of shock and desperation filled the room. Blatantly stated on the document, the Commission killed, to get a child in a broken program.

He moved onto the next page.

“Shi, lower class parents who attend couples therapy,” his eyes moved down, “Their therapist was replaced, and the mother was successfully fired. Now classified as more likely to agree to training terms.” Grimaces could be seen. The Commission had not only put the kids through hell, but orchestrated the entire thing to work smoothly, infiltrated lives for their own gain, and honestly would have gone unnoticed by everyone if Aizawa hadn’t dug for these papers. 

Moving onto the next paper Aizawa paused to stare at it, unsure if he should even read it out to the others. He had to, Keigo was the only one close enough to them all to truly leave a lasting effect, “Keigo,” the room went from cold to ice at the mention of the name. Each person knowing exactly who it belonged to, “Below poverty line. Father imprisoned by Endeavor and mother left unemployed.” His gut twisted even more as his eyes moved down the page, “While already likely to agree to terms of training to ensure stay of participant, the mother will be permanently taken out of the deal.” There was an echo to his words. Hawks had nowhere else to go.

Tension was already in the air as Aizawa picked up another paper. His mouth already dry from reading about the previous students of the Commission, “Touya, parents are less of a considerable factor in recruiting. The quirk is unstable, near uncontrollable, and is hazardous to himself and those around him, offer specialized aid to ensure attainment while confirming that after his siblings wouldn’t have any accidents because of him.” The wording honestly made Aizawa sick. They genuinely didn’t see them as kids. 

The room was dead silent as the revelation made its way around the room which was cut off by a loud voice, “What the fuck. ” Mirko yelled out as she looked up to Aizawa, ”There’s, Christ! The Commission is heartless, but would never go to those lengths!” The older man frowned, she was still healing and was nearly bounding over to him in her rage. She didn’t want to believe that the Commission was that evil, and it’s likely that other heroes were the same. Calmly he collected the papers over the six participants of unit six. At least just the ones she needed, walking over he just handed them to her. Quickly she laid them down in her lap, picking one up to read, and then moving on. Brows creased and a snarl on her face.

“These are all official?” He nodded, “Each and every page.” Heroes around her leaned in to get a look at the pages while Aizawa continued, “Each teacher knows that quirk training isn’t the easiest, and that each student needs individualized help. But there is a point that it can be taken too far.” His hands moved back to Hawks’ file. He felt awful about dipping into it as much as he is going to have to, but getting through to some of these heroes was going to be tough and he needed the stark juxtaposition between the winged heroes past and who he is now, or at least who he lets them see.

“While maybe I sound biased in this, but blindfolding a six year old while they train in a hospital gown and in a cage is a bit extreme for quirk training.” Heroes surrounding Mirko and the papers were only half listening, so he took the two photos in his hand and handed them to Edgeshot, who sat next to Ryukyu and Endeavor. One of Hawks in the situation he just described, and the other of Dabi, well Touya he wasn’t Dabi by that point, stripped down to shorts, torso being covered in flames while he was covered in ice cold water. 

Aizawa could feel the uneasiness of the room grow as the papers and photos were passed around, letting himself fall into a silence as everything he passed out was looked over. He was doing good, making good progress so far and he had to keep it up. Low chatter surrounded the number five hero as she mumbled out in rage as she read through the pages, the photos having been passed down for others to get a close look at. His words were getting to them, but he felt like it wasn’t enough.

“You said it wasn’t an accident.”

The low voice filled the room and instantly it was dead silent again. Aizawa knew more than most that Enji as a man was trying to do right by his past, Shoto having criticized his father over such. Yet, Aizawa knew that it wasn’t complete bullshit, and if it’s true his changing outlook would help in this situation. Endeavor’s head turned up to meet Aizawa’s eyes, “You said what had happened to Touya wasn’t an accident. So what actually happened?”

There was a tense pause amidst their stare down, then Aizawa turned his head to Thirteen, “Can you go get our guest?” The rescue hero nodded, hopped from their seat and headed to a bedroom, eyes were once again on him, wide and confused. Clenching his jaw he straightened up slightly, “What you are going to see is disturbing.” Was how he started, “While Hawks was presenting to UA over childhood abuse one of my students asked if he had faced any other form of abuse. Hawks said yes.” His eyes flickered over FatGum and Kamui, each much more tense as they seemed to catch on to what was going to be shown.

“As he explained all the other things his trainers did just to him he had a panic attack and lost control of what he wanted to show. What you are going to see is what was shown, listen to what they say and afterwards what it means will be explained. The person we have also managed to see a bit more of what happened and will add it to make everything more cohesive.” As Thirteen made their way back in, the same projection quirk user he mentioned followed behind. Luckily for him their quirk lets them store the projections for future use, like they were now. A tense huff of air left someone and Aizawa turned to their direction. FatGum rubbed the back of his neck, “I’m not entirely sure if I can watch this again.”

The heroes in the room grew more uneasy at the statement, even more so when Aizawa gave FatGum and Kamui an opportunity to leave, and each pro hero took the chance to excuse themselves. Turning to their guest they gave Aizawa a nod of reassurance as they took a spot on the floor and closed their eyes, letting the memory show once again in the large space given the moment Aizawa moved the coffee table.

It started out in a dim bedroom, one bed held someone beneath the sheets while the other was empty. A teenage Hawks shot up in a cold sweat, taking in deep breaths before turning his head to survey his surroundings. A chirp of all things left him as he jumped up to look around the room more, heading towards a door to the side that everyone could only assume to be a connected bathroom. Hearts dropped as Hawks froze, a pained scream rang loudly in the memory.

The young Hawks was quick to the door, pulling on it desperately without it budging. Again and again he pulled before finally stepping back, feathers flying past the door and unlocking it from the outside. Yanking it open he flew out and followed the direction of the blood curdling screams. Taking in a breath Aizawa looked down as he crossed his arms, a gentle hand coming up to rest on his elbow. Looking over to Yamada as he tried to comfort him in secret while watching the projection. Aizawa’s own hand moved to take the blond’s as they watched.

A few hands moved to cover mouths to cease gasps from coming out while some faces twisted into one of reluctant acceptance, knowing how this was going to end. Hawks had just flown into the gym, frozen in the air as he stared down in horror at the bloodied and burned body on the ground, “Touya?” The broken voice squeezed Aizawa’s heart, especially as he repeated the name louder, panicked, already choking on sobs as he zipped down to the other. The young redhead was still smoking but the blond teen still pulled him in close tears spilling thinking he was already gone.

A yell came from a handler behind Hawks, they managed to get close, managed to grab the terrified and trembling teenager by his shoulder roughly enough to nearly yank him off the redhead. Yet something flashed before Hawks’  fearful eyes and suddenly bright red wings were covered in blood as they pushed out from the back of the handler. A collective grimace was earned, curses being yipped out in panic by onlookers, and a few who weren’t expecting a hero known for his charismatic smile to go so far had nearly thrown up. 

Hawks had just about completely devolved into trembling sobs, wings going limp behind him after flinging off the handler that got too close. Several more tried to take the man's place but sharpened feathers shot out and pinned them to the wall. Some caught on clothes while the others caught flesh, but no one else was killed. Voices rang out to the boy as he held his half dead roommate.

“He had no control!”

“He tried to run-”

“He wanted to run. There is a fucking difference you idiot.”

The shaken voice of an angry young Hawks rang in the air, resonating with some heroes who were still trying to put the pieces of the situation together. As thoughts either ran wild or were completely frozen in their spot, whether faces were left dry because they were too shocked or covered in tears from what reality was being presented to them, they all continued to watch Hawks broken and small cry over the loss of someone close as he held their body.

Then a hand, shaky and half covered in blood was pulled up and it gently held the others cheek. Eyes shot open as bright tearful gold met a dimmed blue. The two were in silence before deep breaths forced their way out as Hawks tried to find the right words, “Oh my God,” his own hand rested on top of the others. Silence surrounded them for only a moment before Hawks started, “Oh my God. We-I, I have to get you to a hospital. I can make it if I’m quick enough and I’m always quick enough. It’s just-You have to hold on for me just a little bit longer, and stay awake, and-”

The teen’s fast paced rambling was silenced, and his moves to lift the redhead were stopped as Touya lifted themself to press his lips to the others, pulling away slowly and murmuring out, “Then they would find us again,” Hawks was about to open his mouth to try and argue but Touya cut him off before the words could flow out, “You could get me there fast enough but I would never be able to heal quick enough to avoid them.” Fat tears poured out of Hawk’s eyes because even then he knew it was true. The heroes forcing themselves to watch knew it to be true as well.

The young blond shook his head, “No, no, no you, you can get better I promise! I promise that you can get better quick enough and, and,” his voice fell to a soft whisper, just for the other to hear, “We can leave just like we talked about.” Touya only seemed to watch him sadly, his breathing became labored and difficult, eyebrows pushed together as he tried to smile, “You can go live that for me.”

The statement was gut punching and only forced another sob out of Hawks, the hand still pressed on his cheek moved the thumb to push away the tears, “You need to calm down little dove.” The gentle nickname had Aizawa biting at his tongue and balling his hands into fists, the entire scene ripped out of a heartbreaking movie where you honestly don’t know if it will end well while you watch.

“I know,” the redhead smiled to the other, sad in every meaning of the word, “You promised to always sing along,” “Touya-” the broken voice was met with an equally broken one, cracking and off beat as lyrics were pushed out in the air. Touya started in the middle of the song, when the duet really started to take shape, “Sugarcane, in the easy morning, weather vanes my one and lonely,” The lyrics only made Hawks let out a choked sound as he struggled to contain himself, struggling to join in as the backup voice that fades in to be the lead. Starting off as a soft, “Hey moon,” to a, “Hey moon, please forget to fall down.” Softly adding in the strained, “Hey moon don’t you go down.” Choking out, “You are at the top of my lungs, drawn to the ones who never yawn.”

By the time the last verse came into play Touya had faded off when he was supposed to, but Hawks’ eyes were closed, unable to see just how dim Touya’s open ones were. Touya finished his lines, but Hawks couldn’t see that when he finished, he was gone. So when his eyes opened and he saw the other unmoving Hawks paused. The words nearly made Aizawa break the first time he heard them, but hearing the despair in the young teens voice hurt just as much now.

“I messed up that last verse. We have to try again. Please, don’t go yet.”

 Tears pricked at his eyes again, and then Touya took in a breath. The moment of shock and relief was short lived as Hawks was roughly grabbed again, pulled away from the other and forced to watch the body fall back to the ground from the spot in his arms. Tears flowed and the moment they took he had his guard down, it was enough to lock something around his chest that pressed back and cut into his wings which caused him to cry out. Hands grabbed and grabbed as the teen struggled in the grasp of them all, all of them trying to restrain him. The voice fell out with his tears before the projection was cut.

“No! No please! Please, he’s alive!” 

Then it faded. What happened, how Touya was already down by the time Hawks got there, how Hawks desperately wanted to bring him to a hospital but Touya stopped him, saying that the Commission would just follow them and do it again. But the story was missing a key element. Clearing his throat after the moment that everything sunk in Aizawa moved next to the guest in the middle, sticking out his hand to them, “While that would just be heartbreaking on its own, what happened to Touya still wasn’t from training.” He wasn’t entirely sure how to word this, so instead he decided to show it.

Taking the black haired man's hand a much more recent event took shape. The classroom stunned and in silence before Bakugo broke it up to scream at Hawks, who had bandages around his neck for reasons most heroes didn’t know, “Why didn’t you do anything? Why didn’t you run away? Why didn’t you and half and half’s brother run off into the fucking sunset? Why didn’t-” Hawks cut him off and said the line that had sent shivers up the room's spines, both in the projection, and now. His soft voice rang through the room.

“Rule seven, abandonment shall not be tolerated in any form. The members in question shall be terminated under the title Deserter.” 

It was a blaring wake up call to everyone. What had happened, it was no accident; it wasn’t training. The Commission took an active role and attempted to kill a teenager.

The room felt like nothingness had swallowed the world and everything had fallen apart as the revelation made its way around the room, everyone was silent. Silent felt like the new normal in meetings, but he wasn’t complaining. Aizawa taking his hand from the others, Thirteen getting up to take them back to the guest bedroom, Aizawa speaking from where he stood, “Our job as heroes is to protect and save those that can’t save themselves. To help justice be served to those that deserve it. We weren’t able to save dozens of kids then, but we can bring them justice now.”

Eyes were flashing with rage, pity, sadness, and even a few seemed hollowed in the moment, but the most furious pair looked up, flames licking at the sides of them while peering to the erasure hero, “So what would our first move be?” Strengthening resolve filled him, along with several other heroes. Moving to an empty seat after Yamada passed him the laptop, opening it he spoke.

“We have a few things in mind, but before anything we need a plan.”

Chapter Text

The plan was meticulous. It had every detail the heroes needed. Every step planned out to the very moment it happened. There were back ups to potential errors that could be made. Who would go down if someone had to go, someone the Commission couldn’t kill but the hero in question wouldn’t be too suspicious if they acted out. The plan was all and all, perfect. It was exactly what they needed.

But it had to be abandoned.

For whatever reason everyone decided to think that life wouldn’t catch up to them, that reality wouldn’t have caught up to them. Everyone seemed to forget the hierarchy of life and the fact that what happens outside of their control is often incredibly unpredictable. No one would have known this for days once the choice had been made. No one would know until days after the wrench was thrown into their plan. No one would know, but everyone cared because now it matters. Yet, their biggest advantage was gone, and they couldn’t get it back. 

Hawks had decided to walk the short distance from his condo to the building he had to reach. Small wings folded under a huge hoodie, cap on his head, glasses on, head low. Each step felt like another letter of his name was being added to his signature on his death sentence. Dread was pulling him down each time his foot landed on the sidewalk, his body wanting to crumple beneath itself, tears of pure fear pushed at his eyes, will shaking as he got closer.

He let himself get weak.

He should have known that it wasn’t going to last. He should have known that Hawks was expected to make a return just as the same as he had left. Smiling, hopeful, optimistic, charismatic, but most importantly, his most sought after traits throughout the years, his undying loyalty and complete obedience. 

He didn’t want to return, at least he didn’t want to go back the same. He was so tired of being Hawks, he’s been Hawks since he was six and it was reinforced when Touya was killed, reinforced when they locked him in the smallest room they had for a week with barely any food or water to keep him alive. He was so tired of being Hawks. He was so tired of being forced into that same persona that meant nothing but agony to him now. 

Keigo was tired.

Keigo within the mix of being completely terrified and utterly depressed was fueled by the rage he felt. They had the audacity to call him back after he made so much progress. After he managed to learn how to live. They only taught him survival. How to make it out of situations alive. He had to force himself to learn how to live, and he did, he managed to find a way, the smallest path in the forest for himself and he followed it. It led to a small found family, some kids who looked up to him, and just a few more people he could consider friends.

And Keigo was pissed because he knew that they were going to try and rip it all away from him when he isn’t ready to let go, when he barely got the chance to grasp everything in his hands. The rage bubbled just under the surface of his skin and he wanted to scream, he wanted to yell out in complete agony and let the fire consume him. He couldn’t though, he had to push it down, he had to keep his head on straight and think about what comes after everything. 

If he pushes through it all Keigo can see the smiling face of Eri while he cooks her a meal he just barely learned. If he pushes through it all, Keigo can have another lunch with FatGum, all smiles and laughs. If he pushes through it all, Keigo can laugh at the texts and pictures Yamada sends him. If he pushes through it all, Keigo can feel comforted by just being in Aizawa’s parental presence. If he pushes through it all he can reach the people in his life that really make it his own.

Each step hurts but he forced himself to move through the pain. Trudging through the metaphorical mud before turning his head up to the opposing side. The Commission building stood tall in front of his flightless self. Honestly he could probably pull himself up if he tried hard enough, but didn’t want to risk going too high up and fumbling with himself by getting lost in thought. Then plumate. A few weeks ago Keigo probably wouldn’t have minded the idea, but he did now.

Typically he would fly in through one of the windows and avoid the traffic jam that was security, hoping at this point his red wings and well known eye markings would get him in easily so he could get this meeting over with and return to the dream life he managed to make for himself. Luckily his hopes were answered and he was let in with ease once he removed the hoodie and glasses, weaving through the professionally dressed people that littered the halls of the building he managed to reach the elevators, stepping in one and then simply heading up. Each floor he passed he could feel his throat grow tighter and tighter, an ever present fear that something terrible was going to happen.

Finally the doors slid open, it wasn’t quite the top floor, but it was high enough. Third from the top. It was basically for meetings and such, things he hated to sit through, especially this floor. This floor was for high ranked members of the Commission and where missions that should never even be uttered, are given. His body moved as if it was a machine whose program never failed and was leading him to the room they needed him in. Hawks couldn’t even let his eyes roam the glossy and sterile surface of everything. The place had always reminded him of a hospital for some reason. It was cold, and no matter how many people roamed with their blood flowing through their veins the rooms always felt lifeless. 

Gritting his teeth he took in a deep breath before opening the doors to the small meeting room. Stepping in the first thing he noticed was the lack of people in it, which was quickly followed by taking notice of who the only person in the room was. It made his heart rate spike in subtle fear as he took in all the small factors. The small room that he wouldn’t be able to fight in, the high floor with an openable window when he didn’t have wings large enough to support him, the piles of small folders filled with photos and data, but most importantly the President herself sat behind the table. She almost never gave him missions, so far it’s only been two. Infiltrate the League, and what to do with Best Jeanist. Deep in his mind, next to where his hatred resided, a small whisper flowed from there to the rest of his brain.

Attack her and you’ll never recover, there’s a reason she didn’t bring in anyone else.

He wanted to walk out at that moment. Whatever they had planned they knew he wasn’t going to like it and might just try to break out of their grip to resist. Teeth being clenched together he moved forward to a seat that was well distanced from the table she sat at when she spoke, “Please Hawks, take a seat.” He hated her voice.

Moving forward he let the tension out and took his seat casually, a prominent smile on his face, “So what do I owe the pleasure?” Hawks’ sharp eyes looked up to meet hers, his legs crossed, one elbow on his knee while his head rested in his hand. He didn’t miss the way she shifted uncomfortably, being in the room with him alone must make her feel the uneasiness he always felt when on this floor. Good. 

“Hawks, you are a hero who has proven themselves time and time again,” His eyes narrowed in curiosity, not trusting where she was going with this already, “One of the fastest and you rarely get caught in the crossfires, even given your current predicament you will soon be able to return to hero work.” She clicked her tongue, glancing down before looking back up, something dark in her eyes as she continued, “But you were made when the world didn’t need a great savior.” While his head rested in his right hand his left talons were digging into his palm, carefully watching the woman before him.

“Now, the world needs saviors. We no longer have All Might, several top heroes were murdered in the recent raid, many more gravely injured, including yourself.” She paused as if to add suspense, “You were good, but even in your unit you weren’t the best when it came to combat. I think your recent fight proves that too. You were good Hawks, but we can do better.” She pulled up the folders in her hands before sliding them over and then sat up straight again, making sure to look him in the eye as she spoke. 

“The GT Program has officially been given the stamp of approval to take an active role in society again.”

His blood ran cold.

“They are looking to you to help teach the children that have been selected. To show them the benefits of being in the program and to help them improve.”

He felt like ice.

They wanted to bring him back to that Hell to torture kids? Did they really think that they broke him down that badly? Was he broken down that badly? Why was it given approval to continue? Before he peered into the files his eyes flickered up past his sucken brow before pouring into her own dead eyes, “I thought this was banned from restarting because Unit Six was such a failure.” As if she expected that to be his first question she sat up straighter, “It was, but as stated before the world needs more powerful heroes,” He let his eyes fall down to the folder in front of him before he reached down to flip it open and look through the child's profile, the President continued to speak, “And while the Unit faced many tragedies not only have we learned from our mistakes, and figured out what to avoid, but we have you.”

She said it so simply. Him. They had him. Without looking up he retaliated, “Care to elaborate on that for me?” Keeping her dead tone she spoke out, “We had many failures but one big success. We need another big success, even at the cost of many more tragedies.” His eyes paused on a word. They were continuing because he made it out alive. They wanted to continue because he had the work ethic of someone who was scared to die if they did too little. They wanted to continue because he made it.

They were willing to let kids die if it meant the Commission could have another poster perfect child hero.

Suddenly he was taking more time to look through the child's profile, their personal information, their family and friends and pets and teachers and neighbors, it felt like too much. To know that a child could die just because Hawks didn’t. The President spoke up again as he looked through the pieces of paper, Hawks likely didn’t have a choice in the matter when it comes to accepting, “Take these files home and look through them, think of training regimens or potential dietary factors for us to take into play. You will partly be their teacher, their mentor-” her voice faded off as if she was underwater. Making it hard for him to hear as horror took over his body. Looking down at the single worst file of the bunch.

Eri’s.

They wanted Eri.

They would likely do anything to get her.

She didn’t deserve it.

She deserves a happy life.

She doesn’t deserve to live life in a cage like he was forced to.

Like he does to this day.

Flashes in his head took over. Seeing her having to do all the things he was forced to. All the relentless and painful training. All the bits of a lost childhood that he had. Finally finding someone amidst the mess. Watching that someone die before her eyes. She’s already been through too much. She’s already seen too much. She’s already been the victim of an experiment. She’s already been cut open. She’s already seen the horrors of the world. Her smile was precious and lit up any room that she was in. She barely learned how to smile and they wanted to take her away from it all. She found a loving family and the Commission wants to put her in some heartless cage.

He couldn’t do it.

He refused to do it.

He couldn’t mold her like they molded him. He wouldn’t. He had to find a way to make himself a failure before it's too late. The idea of being one once terrified him, but now it was all he craved if it meant that he could save the smile that helped save him. She had so many happy memories to look forward to and he couldn’t just let them be ripped away from her.

The President's words were being spoken as if the two of them were drowning, the bubbles pouring out of her mouth with each exhale she lost, all throughout the rest of the meeting, her words meant nothing to him, and honestly he didn’t know what he felt anymore. Fury? Despair? He wasn’t sure for anything besides the pure desperation that resided inside of him. He couldn’t think of anything that would make him a failure in their eyes quick enough, especially if he nearly lost his wings and they were hardly fazed. Only one option stood out, and he had to execute it perfectly for it to work.

The meeting was over and he was sent off, more weight than what could crush a universe rested on his shoulders, and honestly he felt like he was cracking under the pressure. As he exited the building, folders tucked tightly under his arm, a plan took form. His body being set to autopilot as he walked through the building, he didn’t even remember the elevator ride down to the base floor. His mind going through the same few bits of ideas again and again.

Notes. Baskets. Painting. Indenting. Map. Money. Burner. Eri.

The ideas managed to weave themselves together into a plan as he made his way out to the street, managing to walk past anyone who tried to stop him and ask for an autograph or selfie. If he stopped now he would be stopped for an hour, and he needed as much of the night as he could possibly get. Walking quickly through the streets he knew he looked different, his smile replaced by an indifferent, yet hollowed expression, and he didn’t even let himself be seen for more than a moment. His fast pace being fueled by the idea that the Commission was right behind him, trying to snatch his ankles and drag him back.

His pace picked up at the thought.

Taking a sharp right he entered a store, grabbing a basket he pushed it through the aisles of the small business. Feathers flying right next to him as his brain worked quickly with each item a red feather picked up. A special caramel apple for Eri. Carrots for Rumi. A cat mug for Aizawa. Tea for Yamada. New baking pans for Taishiro. Items filled his cart, gifts for each person who managed to get close enough to him to learn more than he ever wanted to let on.

While grabbing baskets and paper to make them look neat Keigo took in a deep breath. Was he being too irrational? Was he going too far? Was he being too quick to jump into this one? He huffed out a sad chuckle, as if out of defeat. How ironic. Guess I finally found my sun. The thought brought the saddest smile to his face. I really am a sucker for her. 

Gnawing on his bottom lip he made it to the cashier with a full cart. The teenager wide eyed at the hero who was just casually out in public, the hero in question forced a strained smile, saying he wasn’t feeling too well and didn’t want to get too close. The teen, thank whatever God out there, was respectful enough to let him have his space as they checked out the items. Keigo meanwhile stared at the screen, watching the total steadily go up. The smallest part of him, the one that held his childhood self, grimaced at the price but he knew that there was no need to. This was going to be his last big purchase.

With the plastic bags in the crooks of his arms and most being supported by a few red feathers Keigo was quick to move to the ATM machine. Pulling out his wallet and card he took in a deep breath before he punched in his credentials and then the amount he wanted to withdraw. With the money poured out he was quick to store it in his wallet and shove it back in his pants pocket.

Walking out of the store he felt tears well up in the back of his eyes, no amount of shaky breaths got them to disappear, but they didn’t fall and for that he was grateful. He had another store to stop by, then a friend's place to get to before nightfall, and he had to be quick about it. So he was, letting his feet fall into a brisk pace as he moved to the store in mind. Rerunning the plan in his mind.

Notes. Baskets. Painting. Indenting. Map. Money. Burner. Eri.

Exiting the store he discarded the plastic bag he was given, shoving it in the trash, then dialing a familiar phone number before pressing call. The burner phone being pressed to the side of his face while his hands shook. He was really doing this. It rang for a few times before going to voicemail. Cursing he tried calling again. Nothing. Once more, the tears threatening to fall as he turned right to walk down his street, finally a voice came through.

“Whoever it is, leave me alone-” he cut them off, “Hey kid.” A pause fell through the call as he walked towards his building, “Remember me? Guy who saved you? Guy you said if I ever needed something you would be there?” His voice shook as he spoke, “I know I already cashed in once with the other guy but,” Hawks failed to hide the way his voice got caught in his throat, “But we both know that wasn’t me who asked you for that.” Another small pause floated in the air, Hawks biting his bottom lip roughly before the voice rang back to him, “Yeah, yeah I figured as much but I didn’t want to ask.”

Hawks chuckled out meekly at the statement, taking in a sharp inhale he nodded his head as if the other could see him, “Yeah, and thank you for not doing that, but I need that kind of courtesy again with this one.” Biting at the inside of his cheek he hoped he would hear the other respond in a way that Hawks wanted to hear, “Alright, what do you need this time?” Keigo smiled in bittersweet relief.

Notes. Baskets. Painting. Indenting. Map. Money. Burner. Eri.

He took his time with this next part. Carefully stacking the small gifts he selected in the baskets. Taking the time to make them look well put together, savoring the moment with each small item he put in. Some were small trinkets to be used, some to decorate, and some to eat and never to be seen again. While he loved each person he made a basket for he took his time with the basket for the small girl, with large red eyes, and an infectious smile. Making sure everything was perfect and placed in the best spots possible, he leaned back to get a good look and ensure it was well balanced. Keigo made sure to keep hers last so he could spend some extra time with it, without having to rush the others.

Finally he pulled out a small piece of paper and his best pen. Staring down he suddenly had no idea what to write. She was the only one getting a note in her basket, yet he had no idea how to make it memorable. As the words came to him he wanted to crumble, unable to believe that he was going to bring so much heartache to the child. Taking a neat feather from his back he placed it gently in the basket, tears taking control of his vision as he wrote in his best penmanship, a large tear fell onto the pretty clean paper.

So I always know that you’re okay. 

Setting the piece of paper into the basket crushed him, the pace of his breathing picking up as he finished setting everything up. Pulling himself back he looked at them all and the tears rolled down his cheeks as he hiccuped, sobs escaping him as he covered his face. Doubling over he cried out. He couldn’t believe that he was going to do this, but he had to. The plan once again rushed through his mind, and he was upset that so much of it was already done. He didn’t want to go.

Notes. Baskets. Painting. Indenting. Map. Money. Burner. Eri.

He risked using his quirk some as he delivered the baskets. Giving himself an extra push forwards to make this all go by faster. Once this trip was over his plan would nearly be complete. With all the things put into their place and everything else could follow. He would be considered a failure and the whole thing should be called off. If anything, he wouldn’t be part of the problem. He hoped so at least.

Keigo didn’t ring the doorbells when he placed the baskets down. He just made sure that they were well hidden enough that no one would steal them, but in a spot that the heroes they belonged to would spot them easily the following morning. Dread pulled Keigo down into the depths of his own despair with each step he took, with each flap of his wings, with each point on the list being crossed out. It all hurt. An ache formed in Keigo’s chest as he set down Eri’s perfectly balanced basket. Unable to help himself from staring down at it. This was all for her, and he wouldn’t regret it. If this at least saved one child from that program he would give away anything.

Notes. Baskets. Painting. Indenting. Map. Money. Burner. Eri. 

Standing on the roof of the short building he gripped the strap of the bag tightly in his hand. Gazing up to the stars he let himself enjoy the breeze that danced on his face, letting himself genuinely relax. Taking in a deep breath of the chilly air and then he let it out. Keigo’s head leaned back and smiled, tears once so foreign, now trekked down his face again. He’s let so many go tonight, and he could only figure that it was because he was one step closer to taking the key to his cage and setting himself free.

Notes. Baskets. Painting. Indenting. Map. Money. Burner. Eri.

Now home he struggled to write. Crumbling papers in his hands as he cried out and threw them out of his way. He couldn’t find the right words for something that was so far from what was right. Keigo couldn’t believe that he was doing this, but he had to. He had to do it for her. To protect her. To save her. Deep down he knew what saving her meant. It was also saving Aizawa and Yamada for whatever else the Commission had planned. Whatever they did. He was saving all three of them. With renewed resolve he sat himself up straight and wrote down on the paper the words that just seemed to flow. Pressing his pen down as hard as he could in the corner, before tearing off the section, scribbling over it, and throwing it aside.

Notes. Baskets. Painting. Indenting. Map. Money. Burner. Eri.

His plan was complete. 

“You’re the only friend I need. Share our beds like little kids. And laughing until our ribs get tough. But that will never be enough.” 

Mirko didn’t trust the radio silence from Hawks after she discovered the basket halfway hidden on her porch. There was just no explanation. Just a tag with the word Hawks written on it. The basket itself was filled with some of her favorite things that she had only told him, so she could only assume that it was from him. She texted him a thank you before leaving for the gym, wording it in her own way of course. That way being her asking him if he broke onto her property, left an easter basket, and then left. Keeping her phone off all day while training with her new arm Mirko didn’t check her messages until she got home late. Fishing it out she peered down at the small screen.

There was no response. It wasn’t even left on read. Confusion took over as she stared down at the words, as if staring would complete the puzzle by magically moving the words if she willed it to, but it never did. Tapping her foot quickly she sent another message, “Silent treatment after getting me a gift? How rude of you.” Setting her phone down to charge she went off to go through her nightly routine.

Cooking dinner? Silence. Taking a shower? Silence. Getting dressed in her sleep clothes? Silence. Silence rang in the house like a buzz of locusts nearing in. By the time she found herself sitting in front of a TV her foot bounced on its own accord, her attention barely focused on the show that was playing. Hawks had all the time in the world right now, and even when he was swarmed with work he was always quick to reply, that was always just him. 

Finally a chirp sounded through the room and Mirko had just about hopped over to where her phone sat on the table, still charging. Relief flooded her senses as she thought of all the things to tell him, before it all went frozen. The message wasn’t from Hawks, but instead was from FatGum. Her eyebrow raised at the sight, opening her phone to see the message. For whatever reason it made her heart stop beating for a split second.

FatGum: Did you get a basket from Hawks too?

The formal phrasing of the question caught her off guard, the question in general made her pause. Fingers hovering over the keyboard before typing a simple response.

Mirko: Yeah, I did.

She watched as the word delivered immediately switched to read, worry clawing through her as she nibbled on the tip of her tongue. Watching the three dots light up under her message, taunting her for reasons unknown.

FatGum: Okay, because so did Eraserhead, Present Mic, and Eri. They tried thanking him but he didn’t even read their messages, and we were wondering if you were having the same problem.

Blinking her eyes quickly Mirko took in a sharp breath, pulling her phone away from the wall after unplugging it and started to walk around the living room with the device in hand.

Mirko: Yeah, but that birdbrain-

She paused, a voice from the abyss telling her that birdbrain wouldn’t be the best to send right now. Mirko held down the backspace key before she started typing again.

Mirko: Yeah, but Hawks is always quick to answer, even when he’s working so it doesn’t make any sense.

Again delivered instantly turned to read.

FatGum: Yeah, we want to go and check up on him the day after tomorrow. Give him a day's notice and some time to respond. Maybe his charger broke on him or something out of the blue and he’s trying to get it fixed, or maybe he just got caught up in something else.

She could feel the anxiousness roll out of the messages that FatGum sent her, even he was holding onto some resemblance of optimism when everything refused to line up.

Mirko: I have a spare key.

“So long ago, I don't remember when, that's when they say I lost my only friend. Well they said she died easy of a broken heart disease, as I listened through the cemetery trees.”

There was tension in the air as the four heroes met up outside of the condo, a blanket of uneasiness rested over them as they gave quick hellos. An understanding among them that they had to make sure everything was okay because Hawks never responded to anyone for the past two days, or even read any of their messages. Mirko was the leader of the four as she led them up to his condo with confidence and speed. Getting by most security easily with just their faces alone.

Then they stood in front of the door. For once the door didn’t feel welcoming. It felt unnerving and eerily unsteady, clenching her jaw she walked up to it and knocked loudly. If Hawks was going through something she knew he hated being pitied and being seen as less than what he was, so she remained herself, even if being herself felt shaky. Banging on the door she yelled through, “Birdbrain! Open up before I use my spare!”

Pulling her hands back to rest on her hips she glared at the door, trying to will the winged hero to come out. A pool formed in her gut and a lump in her throat. She banged on the door again, “Hawks!” Yelling out she felt the tension in the other three rise. Tapping her foot Mirko grumbled and pulled out her own set of keys. Pushing the red one in and swinging open the door, “We’re coming in!” She announced, “Me, FatGum, Mic, and Eraser! You got us all worried!”

As she strode in out of the corner of her eye she saw the other three take quick glances around the place. It was spacious for his wings, but hollowed. No family pictures, or pictures of himself, a painting hung on a wall but it felt so out of character for the young hero. Everything was fairly clean, save for the pillows and blankets on the couch, but besides that the place was practically spotless. Huffing she also looked around and peered into each room she passed, seeing no trace of the feathered hero. Not until she looked past the kitchen.

Through the large kitchen from the hallway she was in, Mirko could see the lonely dining room table. A harsh contrast to the rest of the house, it was cluttered and full of discarded crumbled papers, the chair left pulled out and everything on the small table was scattered. Dread clawed at her insides, urgency rushing through her veins, “Hawks!” Her voice was now filled with worry as she marched on forwards, pushing open the doors before moving on.

The worry caught the other heroes' attention who peered down the kitchen and into the dining room, who then pushed on with Mirko with much more gusto than before. Finally slamming open his bedroom door she was about to call out to him again, it was cut short as a scream left her mouth instead and she stumbled back into FatGums chest. Tears instantly fell from her eyes as her breathing quickly went rapid, hands shaking and clutching at her chest while reality crashed around her.

Mic was quick by her side as Aizawa pushed forward to look in, “No-” she called out but it was already too late. Aizawa stood frozen looking into the room with wide eyes. Tremors overtook his body as he stared at the corpse hanging from the room's ceiling fan. The dead skin, the dulled eyes, the lifeless face, the limp wings. It was all too much, but he couldn’t look away. The rope was pulled tight around the neck and dug into the flesh beneath.

Aizawa’s eyes moved down the body, down the wrinkled clothes, down the unmoving limbs, each lingering second only confirming again and again that this was him. That was Hawks. That was Keigo . Who had only just now given Aizawa and Eri permission to use his name. It didn’t make sense. He was making progress. He was getting better. Dark eyes landed on a folded note beneath the body. Something had to have happened. What happened?

Carefully he stepped forwards, away from the sounds of sobs coming from Mirko, keeping his eyes focused on the paper rather than looking back up to the hanging hero. Careful fingers gripped the sheet of paper, slowly pulling it up to his face and unfolding it. Aizawa’s eyes scanned the words, and instantly he was confused. The letter itself felt scripted as he read it, not even a mention of Eri laced in the sentences Keigo wrote. As if he expected someone else to find the paper, but what confused him more was the torn off corner. The opposite corner of where the paper was pulled out of a journal. Like he was trying to get rid of something in that spot.

Something wasn’t right.

Clutching the paper he turned around, some kind of desperate determination ate at him. Keigo wasn’t gone, he couldn’t be gone. None of this made sense. So Aizawa, pushing past everyone with an emotionless face, turned left and walked through the kitchen, and heading straight for the dining room table. He noticed the crumbled pieces of paper everywhere. A soft voice came from the other side of the kitchen while he looked around. A small ripped out scribbled piece of paper caught his attention. His eyebrows coming together to convey scepticism as he picked it up to examine. Again the voice rang out to him, but closer. He ignored it.

Instead he turned to the empty pages of the journal Hawks wrote out his last words, the journal was open to the empty slot where the pages used to be. A soft imprint of words on the page, along with a deeply set in pattern in the corner, no scribbled marks over it. Quickly he reached for a pencil to lightly shade over it so he could clearly see the pattern, “Shota.” His husband's voice was soft in his ear as a gentle hand rested on his back, rubbing gently before moving to his side to pull him away from the task at hand.

“Hizashi, no. Stop.” His voice cracked as the tears rolled down his face, “It’s a message. Please, look.” He could feel the energy drop beside him as the blonde tried to pull him into his arms, “Shota, he’s gone-” “No! No he’s not! Just, look!” He cried out, holding up the paper with the pattern on it, and maybe just to entertain him Hizashi looked with his own tear filled eyes before turning his gaze back up to his husband.

Pain filled his chest as he tried to desperately explain, “Look just, this was the note he wrote, he wrote it over this page, and-and this pattern stands out down here when that torn off piece is covered in scribbles, but this pattern isn’t. It’s, it’s deeply set and that piece was purposely scribbled out after it was taken out, Hizashi it has to mean something.” 

Fresh tears covered Aizawa's face as he looked to Yamada, tears falling from green eyes. Closing them Yamada sighed, shoulders slumping as his voice came out softly and full of pity, “Sweetheart he’s gone.” The words struck a chord with Aizawa, but he refused to listen. Instead he pushed past him and went up to Mirko who was still sobbing into FatGums chest. Looking up teary eyes met teary eyes, and at any other time Aizawa would have never done what he did, but he was so lost in desperation he didn’t care. Pushing the exposed pattern to Mirko his voice cracked out, “Does this look familiar?”

Yamada came back behind him, trying to pull the other man back, who only resisted and continued to make Mirko look at the paper, “Please Rumi, please tell me it looks familiar.” Yamada kept pulling him back, trying to comfort him as Aizawa shook more with each passing moment that Mirko never answered. A sob nearly escaped as Yamada pulled him in for a close hug.

“That’s the painting in his office.”

The room paused, silence overtook them as Aizawa looked back to Mirko wordlessly, she in turn gazed at the paper before lifting her head to look him in the eye as realization hit them both.

“I'm not yours, and you're not mine, but we can sit and pass the time. No fighting wars, no ringing chimes. We’re just feeling fine. This is where we’re supposed to be, sitting by a broken tree. No tragedy, no poetry, just staring at the sky.”

Questions went unnoticed as the four heroes, covered in dry tears, practically stormed Hawks’ agency. Pushing their way past secretaries and sidekicks as Mirko led them to Hawks’ office. Still sniffling Mirko stared ahead lifelessly, yet she was still filled with determination. A fire inside of her having been lit, telling her that he was alive. Or at least whatever happened, whatever made him do it wasn’t in vain. That it wasn’t for no reason.

As she yanked open the door to the cold room Mirko pushed forward, past the old memories of smiling faces that clouded her mind, up to the framed piece of artwork that sat on the wall. Once the door was closed she yanked it down, a deep urge to destroy something coming out momentarily before quickly disappearing. Setting it face down she was quick with her hands to open the back up, with help from the others as they pulled back the latches.

Digging her fingers under the back she closed her eyes and desperately hoped that they were right in doing this, that they were right in disrespecting a late hero's property. Pulling the back up her eyes opened and looked down at what laid beneath. Several files, each labeled confidential, along with several pages of a single letter. On the outside was written, “Hopefully to Aizawa, Rumi, or someone I trust.” A pause filled the air before she quickly snatched the pieces of paper. Unfolding them as tears once again poured out of her eyes, except this time they were of shock and relief as her eyes skimmed the words on the pages. 

Her hand came up to cover her mouth as she finished the first section. Doubling over, her forehead pressed into the ground, the pages clutched in her hands. Mirko took in a loud trembling breath before straightening herself up to look in the eyes of the others. The look knowing, and meaningful. 

Something wasn’t right, that was for sure.

Chapter Text

The clouds of the night sky stood prominently against the moonlight. The eyes gazing up to them couldn’t help but recognize the shape of a duck in the sky. Head tilted, they stayed on the silhouette of the animal for a few moments before the head they were in turned down and looked forward.

 From the distance he could see the four pros exit the condo building, the blanket of night shielding him from the wandering eyes of anyone who passed by. Also because of the great distance he couldn’t see the grieving tear stained faces of the four, instead assuming they had dropped by to visit the winged hero who was still recovering from the raid. Anger built up in his being as the recent events took over his mind, fire burning just beneath his skin, but he kept his quirk under control. Refusing to let the uncontrollable fire escape, not only would it bring attention to him, but the flames would only hurt him like they had been doing so recently with the intense rage running through his veins. 

Smoke poured out of his mouth in a quick huff, sharp turquoise eyes narrowed to watch the heroes flee from the area. Pupils following the four bodies as his thoughts returned to him, why he was here. His thoughts, as sarcastic as they are, only seemed to spit out to visit a childhood friend. See how he’s holding up. Maybe make the situation a bit worse depending on who’s around. 

Dabi shifted to stand up once no one remained in his line of sight, rolling back his shoulders and bending his spine to hear a deafening pop of his joints while the metal decorating his chest pulled at his flesh and skin grafts. Only one he could feel. Letting out a deep sigh he relaxed before stalking forward. Face remaining indifferent as he continued to the front of the condos.

Pulling open the door to Hawks’ building he continued inside, features hidden without needing to be. No one was around. Lucky him. It honestly made his job easier as he climbed up the stairs, but something felt off. He wasn’t sure why. Maybe it’s because he was right in his suspicions that Keigo was gone. Completely erased by those who trained him and left the husk that was Hawks in the passing of someone who shined brighter than the sun itself.

The anger rose which each step up he took. Hawks had murdered Twice. Twice who was just sending out copies of himself to go help the others, to help those that Hawks too had learned from, Hawks took his life then and there. In a sense Hawks murdered Keigo as well. The fact hurt, but Dabi should have known. Dabi did know, but just ignored that as he slowly took the other in, considering him to be with the rest of the League and the Liberation army. Silently hoping that the Keigo who didn’t want to become a hero, the Keigo who wanted to leave the Commission, the Keigo who would help patch up Dabi’s old self after being burned was still residing somewhere in the body that spoke out to him.

Fire burned under his skin as the train of thought continued. Dabi had shoved him to the ground, chased him and the UA student down for just a moment before the other heroes showed up, he did so with so much hatred that wasn’t entirely for the number two hero. Deep down he knew that the Commission was the one to give the order, the mission, the stamp of approval to murder someone. They trained him for it after all, Dabi never having the chance to break the other out. Of course they molded the hero to be perfectly fine with the act. At least, perfectly fine in Dabi’s eyes.

The anger flowed into guilt as he made his way up the final set of stairs. Something whispering to him that he was partially to blame. He never got Keigo out while he was still Keigo. He didn’t get to him before Hawks took over. He wasn’t there. He just let the Commission throw Touya out. His old self being too scared to go back and potentially get caught, letting them finish the job. What the two teens could have achieved if they just managed to escape the program back then. Closing his eyes he forced the idea to leave his head. Dabi couldn’t let himself get caught up in thoughts like that. If he focused on the past too much he wouldn’t be able to do anything in the present.

Whatever it was he was doing now. Honestly he wasn’t quite sure anymore. He wanted to kill him. He wanted to take his life like how Hawks took Twice’s. Yet some deep part of him desperately hoped that the encounter from the raid brought back a bit of Keigo back. Dabi hoped that like the last time they saw each other in that narrow alley with a little girl watching on, Hawks won’t fight back. That Keigo won’t fight back. He hoped that Keigo was still alive and resting in the body of Hawks. Dabi couldn’t help himself, he got to see the little bird fly high again and he got greedy.

Standing in front of the door to the condo he clenched his jaw tightly, grounding himself. Glaring at the opening for the peephole. The other was likely on the other side, the blood on his hands still drying after all these weeks, the murder of the villain still resting on his shoulders. If Hawks came out Dabi would make sure he never did again. If it was Keigo, well, Dabi wasn’t too sure.

Producing two bobby pins from his pocket he bent and straightened them out, making sure that they could fit before getting to work on the lock. Mind numbingly empty as he did so, going from his brain thinking of everything, going a hundred miles a minute to his heart beating quicker and quicker as time passed. The tell tale sign of a click sounded, making him run his tongue over the tops of his teeth. He turned the knob of the door and then carefully pushed it open. The hinges silent as he did so, pushing forward he leaned over to peer inside. The room seemed empty so he pushed the door open more. If the hero wasn’t here he could always wait for him.

Eyes moved around the room, it felt like the exact opposite of Keigo. It didn’t have anything soft or truly outstanding besides some stupid painting that looked straight out of an Ikea magazine, something Keigo would never pick out. Blankets did litter the couch though, short hazy memories flashed in his head of when Keigo used to make nests out of all of their blankets and pillows. That must be what he was doing before just leaving the small, empty, half-assed mess of a nest on the sofa.

Averting his eyes from the sight he moved on, not wanting any more old memories coming back to him. Reminding himself that Keigo was gone, no matter how much he hoped for something else. Dabi continued on down an empty hall, leaning his head to doors to listen in, or if they were open he let his gaze fall into the blank rooms. It was a bit strange just how silent the entire place was, a bit eerie but it meant nothing. It meant nothing until he stood at an opening, looking through a large polished kitchen and his eyes landed on a cluttered dining room table. Crumbled pieces of paper littered the table and floor, balled up out of frustration and was simply left there. 

Interest piqued he turned his heel and went down through the silent kitchen and into the lonely dining area. A journal laid in front of the chair, several pages torn out of it, curiously he picked it up and brought it to his eyes. The page it was open to pristine and smooth, as if it wasn’t written on top of it at all. Strange. Quietly setting it back down his eyes moved around to the balls of paper, picking one up he then moved to unravel it, 

“To Aizawa, Rumi, or Someone I Trust,

I know that you want to know why I did what I did”

It ended there, smudged, and covered in dried wet spots. Something formed in Dabi’s chest and he wasn’t quite sure what it was. Sucking in a quick breath he picked up another piece of paper and opened it.

“To Aizawa, Rumi, or Someone I Trust,

Hey, it’s me. You know who. Just wanted to say something”

It ended there. Again and again, page after page he unraveled them, read the few lines that the hero managed to write down before giving up, crumbling the paper, and tossing it aside, each having round dry spots where water once set. An uneasiness growing in the air with each passing page, tongue growing heavy in his mouth, limbs getting tired.

Then he opened the page. His bottom lip pulled apart from its upper counterpart in surprise. A fully written letter in his hands, crumbled like the hero who produced it. Dabi’s eyes darted up to the top of the page.

“To D. or T. or However You Want Me To Address You Now,”

The note was made for him. It was like Dabi was placed in a container of honey and he couldn’t move. He both wanted to consume the rest of the letter at a frantic pace and avoid it at all costs. His eyes closed gently before squeezing together, emotions pulling his chest apart, he wasn’t sure if he could read the rest of it, but something told him he had to. Lips pressing into a thin line he took in a sharp breath before snapping open his eyes,

“I figured that you would eventually come to say some kind of hello, or try to kill me. Both would be very in character for you. I also know that you would be the only person willing to look through this mess I made, and I’m writing to you hoping you’ll see this because if not it’ll go unnoticed and be thrown into some Commission garbage bin, never to see the light of day again. That and I won’t get to say all the things I want to tell you. Even still I don’t think I will, because that’s just how life goes sometimes. 

There’s not much that I can say to get this point across, even now, but I regret what I did. I regret what I did to Twice. I hope you believe me as I write this to you, but I really did want to save him. I wanted to bring him out of his situation, get him proper medical aid, and then help him start a real life instead of living in the shadows of the world. He was the only one I could see accepting the offer. You, before I realized you were you, and Spinner were both religiously following Stain. Toga was too willing to break any reasonable moral code for the smallest thing. Mr. Compress just wanted to be infamous. Twice, on the other hand, Twice wanted to be happy. Twice wanted to make people happy, and I took that from him. I took his life. I took away all the times in the future that he would make someone smile.”

The ink was smudged with dried tears around the area, Dabi’s eyes burned, biting down into his bottom lip roughly he continued to read the letter, the handwriting growing a bit more frantic with each letter that was put down,

“I feel like shit. I should have known better. I should have known who you are. I should have recognized you. I should have, but I didn’t because I was in too deep. In too deep with a mission I wished I could have avoided. I wish I had the choice to turn it down, but I didn’t. There’s so much I’m sorry for, but in all honesty I don’t think it’ll change your view of me. Maybe by this point you’ve already burned this paper. Turned my words to ash, but if you’re reading this that means you haven’t and I thank you for that.”

The next paragraph was messier, as if the note was left and then returned to later on after finding the right words. In complete honesty, the words pulled Dabi apart by the seams, by his staples, cracking open to reveal a small redhead who wanted to smile again,

“I wonder what life would have been like if they never intervened, or at least never intervened with us. If we continued to sneak out and go on little adventures. If we went to more concerts or festivals, if we got to see more movies to stay past the credits and listen to the fading music, if we went swimming again and found the courage to actually skinnydip, if we got to go to another carnival and ride the ferris wheel again. If we got to do more together. I wonder what would have happened if we both came out heroes, as ourselves instead of broken down versions of each other because we had the other to confide in. I wonder what would have happened if we left the program entirely, just like we said we would at the festival.

Instead we’re here. You reading a letter I left while I rest in the other room,”

Dabi’s eyebrows twitched together, hyper aware of the silence that deafened his senses,

“I just want you to know that I never forgot you. Even if you just rested in the back of my head for years. These past few weeks you’re all I could think of. You’ve been the subject of my dreams. The main character of the story while I, your old partner in crime, reminisces for a chapter or two. Thinking of all the ways we could have done better. Sleepless nights filled with hopeless daydreams of what could have been. Nights spent hoping I had actually joined your cause, flying us all out of troubles way when the raid came. 

I know that this means nothing to you, but I just want you to know, that you have truly made a lasting impact. I’m so sorry it ended this way.

Love, Keigo.”

Seeing the real name of the other was like having his heart be ripped out from between his skin and the ugly purple counterpart, the staples bursting off his body after being strained between the contrasting skins of Dabi’s chest. His breath caught in his throat, forcing him to gulp which then made him start to cough out. Clearing his throat he straightened up, staring at the name, wondering if he was imagining it. The silence was suddenly deafening again, his chest sunk in as his eyes pulled themselves up to stare at the empty wall.

Something wasn’t right.

His knuckles became itchy with anxiousness as the silence seemed to grow louder with each passing second, dread nipped at the very corners of his being as he just simply existed after reading the letter addressed to him. Burying his nails into the palm of his hand, letting crescents form under the pressure, he looked at the note. Admired where the handwriting seemed to change slightly between paragraphs. Admiring the small dried circles from where tears fell onto the page while writing, as if stamping the page with the official sigil of authenticity of feelings, that the blond was telling the truth about them. Folding the page three times in half Dabi slipped it into his pocket and turned around.

Arms twitched as he walked through the kitchen, back on the other side he looked down the rest of the hallway that he hadn’t explored. A single door was all that was left. His bedroom. Dabi rested in his spot as he stared at the common indents in the door, grinding his teeth together his hand formed a fist, clenching itself before he moved towards the door. Hoping to find Keigo on the other side, surrounded by all the plushies and soft things he was never allowed to have. Bones of raw chicken resting on his bedside table, the remains of a snack he was never allowed to have. Sitting down intensely watching trash reality TV clips on his phone, simply because he finally got a chance to enjoy it after being denied for so many years. Resting in a large t-shirt of a band he was never allowed to listen to.

Silently he hoped to find Keigo alive, able to enjoy all the things the Commission never let him have.

With the door open his eyes fell on the truth. Hawks resting in a noose of his own making, hanging limply from his room's fan. 

If Dabi could have cried he would have done so.

As potentials crashed around him he couldn’t tear his gaze away from the body. The way the once honey tinted skin seemed so dull and lifeless. The way that the wings that would once flutter if he surprised him now hung behind him in a duller shade of red. The way that his head seemed to be lowered as it laid limply against the tight rope, the infectious smile he once radiated now replaced with chap lips that held no definable shape. 

He could have avoided this. Dabi could have just waited another day to see the news on his small stolen TV, and hear that the number two hero was found dead. He could have just let the other go entirely. Anger fueled his being for a few seconds. Dabi was the one who was going to end the prideful hero. He was the only villain out there who had the right to. It should have been him instead of the cowardly hero taking his own life.

His anger quickly formed into an intense depression. Keigo was gone. Not just dead and left as a husk of a man, but he was actually dead. There was no more chance of a small bit of Keigo having come back. Heart once filled with so much love and hope now rested in an unmoving chest, no longer able to beat. Dabi could have avoided this. He could have found him after his debut. He could have helped him escape. He could have just gotten over his fears and actually tried to break Keigo out.

Stepping closer to the body his gaze never left the other, silently praying that the body would move. That the other would wiggle his way out of the tight noose, but he knew that it wasn’t possible. Finally when his eyes dropped they fell to the others hand. Limply laying in its spot. Dabi’s own cool hands reached up and he nearly flinched away when his skin made contact with the lifeless hand, a hand that always brought him warmth now colder than Dabi’s. Gently caressing the hand he carefully it brought, pressing his forehead into the knuckles as his eyes closed. Holding back his verbal sobs as his body was overtaken by tremors. 

Dabi’s cheeks were being pulled back and down while he dug his teeth into the inside of his mouth. The action tugged at the staples that held his face together, pulling apart the skin grafts and the flesh just below it, blood spilling from the stretch, cruelly mocking him as it poured out like his tears would have if he had the ability to cry. Taking in a strained breath he forced his head up to press his lips to the dead skin of the others' knuckles. Thinking back to the first time he did so, and how it made his little bird turn a deep shade of pink, but now there was no reaction to be had. 

He stayed like that for a moment too long, dry lips on a cold hand while blood dripped down his cheeks, before finally pulling back. His gaze slowly went up from his hand, up his arm, and then finally the lifeless face with a few strands of hair trying to hide the colorless features. It wasn’t right, the way he laid in the mercy of the noose's grip. It wasn’t right how he laid lifeless in the air, chilled to ice. It made Dabi’s stomach twist into an unforgiving knot. It looked like how the Commission would have expected him to go, just like how the others had left the world

Sighing, he let the hand drop from his grasp as he looked up. His arms shook as they were raised behind the others head, one hand tightly grasping the section of the rope that slid while the other grabbed the rope itself. Loosening the grip of the unforgiving noose just enough, his right hand held the rope in place while his left arm carefully wrapped around the torso. Lifting him up as best as he could to just get the rope off of the others neck, then letting the body fall into his. With the head fallen into his shoulder Dabi let out a pathetic sound. The situation only felt so much more real as his arms embraced the limp body of someone he used to know.

Dabi stood there, body on his own for a minute, there being no thoughts as he held on desperately. Finally his legs moved on their own, backing up until the back of his knees hit the mattress. Then he let himself sit, dead arms encircling him as he did so. His eyes moved down to stare at the top of his head, his breath felt caught. All Dabi could do was stare. Then finally he leaned down to hold the other close, like how Keigo, face covered in tears, once held his freshly burned body close while his voice screamed out in anguish. Dabi couldn’t scream. 

He couldn’t, instead he let himself find bittersweet enjoyment of holding the other close one last time. Just one last time. Then it was it. It was over and done for good now. There was nothing else after this. 

Dabi cradled the bird closely in silence for a long time. Minute after minute after minute passed, the time ticking by, and he faintly wondered if maybe he could just lie here for the rest of his days. Holding one of the few people he learned to care about over the course of his life. Their time was tainted by harsh facts of their actions, yet it still stood out as some of the best memories Dabi had. 

Finally he was able to pull away, or well, push the other away. The heavy body laid on the bed, eyes just barely open to reveal dull orbs underneath. Taking a moment to think Dabi knew he couldn’t just leave him there. It wasn’t right. Even if he wasn’t hanging from the ceiling it still wasn’t how it should be. Moving tense muscles Dabi stood and looked down, a sigh escaping him, his body moving on its own accord now. Adjusting the other to lay on the bed properly, resting the motionless head on a pillow. Standing back up he knew something more had to be done. The space around the hero was far too empty.

Pulling at the loose blankets that were scattered around the room, including the ones that gathered around the fluffy bean bag chair in the corner, moving them to frame the small bird. Like one of the nests he used to build. The soft throw blankets rested against his arms, while the fabric of the fur blanket tickled the edges of his face. It was much better, but Keigo himself was empty, currently only being surrounded.

Turning his head he looked for more, something to give to Keigo’s body, as if it were an offering, only to find nothing. A frown pulled at the corners of his mouth, the other had more freedom to at least obtain the things that he wanted but never got, there was no way that he didn't take advantage of that. Looking around his eyes fell to the bed, a thought came to his mind and he was quick to look under. Letting out a sad chuckle he reached under and pulled out a Mirko plushie. Some things never change, do they?

Reaching under again he pulled out more stuffed plushies. Some of heroes, some of animals, some being things that he wasn’t sure what they were. Pulling them all out Dabi stood and looked down to the body before him. Hovering over the other he carefully placed each plush object. Several plush heroes went under the hold of his arms, while a few were placed around him, resting against his legs and arms. Dabi didn’t use them all to avoid making Keigo look crowded, but enough to make him look less lonely. Still his eyes remained slightly open. Dead gaze pouring out to nothing.

Tensing at the unsettling sight Dabi carefully moved his hand over, gently pressing his hand on the others face and pulling down. When his hand was removed Keigo seemed more so to be peacefully sleeping rather than having dull eyes look out into the abyss. Pulling back Dabi looked to the other, while he was still lacking his normal hue, how he rested was much more appealing than before. It was more like he went out in his sleep rather than losing to himself. Much like how Keigo would have preferred. 

Taking the first step backwards to the door was incredibly difficult, finally having to be the one to let go instead of having someone else let go for him. Taking another step back created a hole in his heart, another step only seemed to rip it open further. Each step he felt a little bit more damaged than before. Each step he took felt like he was losing a battle. Each step he took felt like he was letting something go that he wanted to desperately hold onto. Each step he took he felt like he lost a bit of himself.

Finally turning around he exited the room, eyes aching and stinging from tears that weren’t there. As he walked away he realized that he left a bit of his old self in that room.

He left a small piece of Touya in that room. 

Sighing as he moved to the front door he recognized the fact that the heroes were here before him. Police, or someone must be on their way. They were probably close too, considering the number two hero was just found dead in their own bedroom right before Dabi came in. As he left the condo he made sure to close the door gently, to not upset the dead. Then he simply turned and walked down the hall. Which turned into speed walking down the stairs. Which turned to jogging down the halls. Which turned to running out the back of the building. Which turned into sprinting down the alleys. 

Sprinting away from Keigo, just like he did all those years ago.

He sprinted until he reached the nastier side of town. Sprinted until he reached a shady apartment building. Not stopping to take a breath until he found himself in the middle of his living room. Doubling over and supporting himself by grasping his knees, heaving out labored breaths until the room stopped spinning around him. Taking in deep breaths until the world didn’t feel like it was crumbling under his feet. In all honesty it never stopped the heavy feeling but his breathing eventually evened out into something normal. 

Dabi felt like hell and must have looked worse. He always did, so he guessed that this was no different. Locking the door to the outside world he let himself float to his bedroom, on legs that he couldn’t feel, letting his body drop onto the creaky bed unceremoniously. Dried eyes closing to block his sight from the ugly around him, which eventually lead to an uneasy and light sleep.

Hours passed, and when he woke up he felt more tired than when he fell asleep. He could barely raise his own arms to let his hands reach his face and carefully rub his heavy eyes. When he was finally able to do so his arms fell back down beside him, leaving him to stare up to the ceiling with untelling eyes and a tired expression. He felt like complete shit. 

It took a while for Dabi to finally force his body to lean up, to get himself to a sitting position, just staring at the sheets in front of him. The dirty grey looking as lifeless as he felt. Lifeless. Must be word of the hour. After five minutes of dead staring and dissociating Dabi finally grabbed the blanket that wormed its way on top of him during the night and flung it off his being. With weak determination he moved to stand on his feet rather than lay back and continue his brooding session, even though it was all he wanted to do.

Releasing a deep breath he moved his feet, right, left, right left, one foot in front of the other. Focusing on the action to keep his mind from wandering. Making it to the small living room which was messy with scattered blankets and piling trash he never bothered to pick up. Turning his attention to hyper focus on another action he reached over for the shitty TV remote. Grasping it, his finger moved over the power button, then pressed down. The words rang loudly for such a low volume setting.

“As released just an hour ago, number two hero Hawks was found dead last night in his bedroom. Reports say-” 

He turned the TV off.

Suddenly Dabi was brought back down into his own despair. All the emotions of the previous night hit him all at once, his throat went strained as if he was going to cry, but he knew he wouldn’t. Not with his dried up tear ducts. The nausea hit, forcing him to gulp down his saliva. Nails dug into numb arms while they shook, and fire rested beneath the surface, threatening to force its way out if he didn’t find a separate outlet to release everything he felt. To release the fury. To release the anguish.

Gritting his teeth Dabi threw his head back before letting out a pained and desperate scream.

Chapter Text

The air was bitter and still. The clock read 3:28 AM. Glasses sat around the man on the couch who was slumped over, head in his hands, tears sticky on his face, trying to get a grasp on his heaving breaths. Failing to even them out as guilt clawed through his intestine. He failed. He failed as a hero. He failed and he should have been faster. Faster to stop a problem before it became an issue. 

His fingers grabbed strands of hair and subconsciously pulled at them, the pain coming from the tugging was the only thing keeping him from screaming out in anguish. Staring down at the papers in front of him he wanted to curse out so loud that the universe would shake and finally produce something that wouldn’t be the next step to his emotional downfall. He couldn’t though, that would wake Eri up and she didn’t deserve to see her father in such a state.

Leaning towards the cushion Aizawa let his back hit the couch, eyes remaining on the files that he was entrusted with out of the four heroes. Given to see if there was anything left to decode, considering he seemed to be the one to figure out the whispers of secrets Keigo left behind after figuring out the puzzle left for them to find. The other three had to continue life as usual so they wouldn’t bring more suspicion than they already did after running into the recently discovered dead heroes agency.

Running his hands through his hair Aizawa sniffled before leaning forward to grab the half drunk glass on the table, tipping his head back to let the burn flow down his throat before letting out a gruff puff of air right after, then setting the glass cup back down. Dark eyes roaming over the words he could see on the papers that the manila folders were open to. This much he gathered.

They wanted to restart the program because of the failure that the raid proved to be. With so many heroes dead, with so many villains escaping, the Commission finally decided to use the given stamp of approval to scout children to train. They say that it was so there were more promising heroes in the world, but Aizawa knew, just as Keigo did, that it was also for there to be more heroes for them to control and get them to do the dirty work of the Commission.

The Commission wanted many more children than the original program intended, but one of the children that they wanted was Eri. Which also meant that they were likely willing to kill Aizawa and Yamada to get to her if the two of them told their recruiters no. Bile rose in his throat at the idea, but he wouldn’t have to worry about it. The organization only wanted to start it again because Hawks had made it out alive and excelled at the only thing he was taught to do in his life, but now that the hero’s gone so is the threat on Aizawa’s small family.

A choke escaped his throat. Hawks wasn’t actually gone, this much they had figured out, but the thought that the kid had to fake the ultimate sacrifice, only continuing to watch and ensure that they keep their word, had ripped Aizawa’s own heart out. If he wasn’t so sure that they would go back on their word, would that body hanging from the ceiling actually have been him? 

His fingers gripped his sweatpants tightly, eyebrows pushed together as his breath hitched for just a moment before relaxing. No, no he wouldn’t have done that, because Keigo would have enough trust in him to be able to fix the issue, just in time for the blond to be able to come back and enjoy life. Aizawa thought to himself, feeding himself lines that he knew were lies. Pressing the palms of his hands into his eyes he rubbed them roughly, trying to ground himself in his drunken state, but it was impossible as the thoughts seemed to just plague his mind more, and more, and more. 

Keigo would have actually done it. He wouldn’t have trusted the heroes enough to save him, they already failed to save him in childhood so why or how would they succeed now? The kid has admitted to attempting to take his own life before, the only reason he was able to keep himself from a relapse was to keep a close eye on the organization that took away every aspect of his life. They took away his childhood. They took away his freedom. They took away the people that brought him joy, simply because they think that their grasp on Keigo would weaken. They took away his resolve. They took away his will to live. They took everything from him. 

The only thing that he could genuinely take from himself was his life, and even then the Commission had a right to take that too.

Aizawa’s breath faltered, picking up in pace as he struggled to inhale the next bit of air, tears clawing their way out of his eyes. Fists balled his hair as his head hung forward in absolute shame.

  I should have done more. I could have done more. I should have been faster. I should have known. I should have seen the way his persona was breaking under the pressure. I should have seen it coming. I was in his shoes, why didn’t I help? Did he not trust me enough to talk it out with me? Did he not want to be talked out of it? Was this really the only way? We had a plan for him, why didn’t we just tell him? Why did I go behind his back in his last days? I just wanted to help. I just wanted to make sure everyone was on board. Did he know? Did he know I told them? Was he mad? Does he know that I’m sorry? I just wanted to help. Why am I a failure of a hero? I try to do good, to prevent all the things of the past from repeating themselves, but I fail, why? I just wanted to help.

In his emotional breakdown of pent up and repressed guilt of his inferiority complex a small hand landed on his shoulder, “Dad?” The voice rang in his ears and it only made him choke out another sob. In frantic movements the girl that the voice belonged to rushed around to hold him in her small arms, “Dad what happened? Is everything okay?” Worry was incredibly apparent in her timid voice. Hawks gave up nearly everything for them. The pain in his chest grew at the brutal reminder.

Heaving in a breath he raised his head to look at her, his own arms going around her small body. Forcing his breathing to even in her presence. Biting down on his bottom lip the alcohol in his system worked its effects, clouding his judgement. Caressing the back of her head he forced in a shaky breath, “Eri there was something, there was something that me and your papa had to talk to you about.” His eyes, for the briefest moment, looked past her head and to the picture of her in the folder before looking back to the worried face in front of him.

His trembling hand was pulled from her and patted the spot on the sofa next to him. As Eri moved to sit next to him Aizawa quickly reached over to close the folder, then leaned back into the couch. With tightly shut eyes he tried to pull himself together along with the completely unorganized thoughts running around in the corners of his mind, “We were going to wait to tell you this, for the right time, but you seemed to choose it just now.” He bantered what he could, forcing out a bitter and pained chuckle before clearing his throat.

Looking down at the table with bleary eyes Aizawa took in a sharp breath, “You know what it means when,” he paused, “When someone passes away.” Eri seemed to freeze at the statement, eyebrows pulled together as she watched him, “It, it means that someone isn’t alive anymore,” her small voice trailed, “That I won’t see them again but, but they go some place better for them right? Like, heaven?”

Pressing his lips into a thin line Aizawa nodded, “Yeah,” his voice was barely audible, “Yeah like heaven.” His tears pushed against his weak barriers, Eri’s small trembling voice picked up, “Someone, someone went to heaven didn’t they? And that’s why you’re sad?” Aizawa forced his head to nod again before turning to her, Eri’s eyes filled with tears. The sight only made everything much more painful and made the tears in his eyes run down his cheeks once more.

Taking her hand into his he squeezed it gently, “Someone did.” His words got caught in the air as his eyes darted around the room, “They, they saved so many people when it happened.” He said to her, “They saved me.” He stated first, “They saved papa.” Her eyes couldn’t contain the tears as they poured down her face, “They saved Shinsou.” His heart grew so impossibly heavy with each passing name, “They saved you.” Her small face twisted more into one of guilt, pulling her close into a hug Aizawa continued, “They also saved over a dozen other kids from awful awful circumstances, that would have sent them to heaven.” Feeling the wet spot form on his shirt Aizawa nearly choked out another sob, but managed to keep it in. 

Petting her head he took in a deep breath, “I know sweetie, I know. It hurts.” Aizawa’s voice cracked at the end and he opted to hold her even closer, “And you’re going to be upset when you hear who, but I would rather you hear from me or papa rather than the TV.” The hero of over a decade had no doubt in his mind that each and every channel would broadcast the breaking news of the number two hero's death.

The small nod against his chest broke his heart further. Aizawa didn’t want to tell her, but he had to. Eri was going to be heart broken for weeks no matter what, he might as well not delay the inevitable. Pulling back to look into Eri’s large, tear filled eyes, sorrow filled his own being even further as his mouth moved to form the phrase that he didn’t want to admit. Maybe it was because Keigo was still out there, but everything else would tell his daughter otherwise. He didn’t want to give her false hope if he never returned.

“Sweetpea, I’m sorry, but,” his voice was caught, a sob taking the next words place before he forced himself to calm down to look at her, “I’m so sorry but Keigo is gone. He passed away.”

Eri seemed to pause, her brain taking in too much information at once as she stared at her dad. Seconds passed before her little face twisted and a cry of pure anguish left her mouth. Aizawa quickly wrapped his arms around her, in desperate attempts to calm her down so her quirk wouldn’t react, “I know, I know,” he murmured in her ear. Again and again, just trying to sooth her too hurt soul, “I know sweetheart, and I want it to be different too.”

After a minute he pulled back to look at her, forced determination on his face, “But,” she sniffled harshly as her chest shook with broken breaths, “But,” he stated more softly, “You know him. He would be so upset to see us like this,” a sad smile came up to his face, “He always hated seeing you down and I promise you, I promise you, he wouldn’t want us like this. He would want us to be happy that he was here with us in the first place.”

His words reflected those that Yamada told him all those years ago. Seeing her small nod Aizawa nodded back, pulling the smile on his face into a bigger one as he looked to her, “He would, he would want us telling embarrassing stories of him, and smile,” she nodded again, head pressed to his chest, “He would want us to order a huge amount of fried chicken to eat and bury him with,” a soft chuckle was muffled in the embrace that she was in, “He’d want us to continue to call him a pigeon, even though he faked hating the name,” closing his eyes he took in a deep breath, his own words managing to ease his nerves as he thought of all the good times they got to spend together, even if it wasn’t as many as he would have hoped for, “He would want us to make pancakes in the shape of cats and birds.”

“I want to make pancakes in the shape of cats and birds.” Eri spoke out, voice muffled by the hug. Taking in the situation he was in, Aizawa let out a hum, “Yeah. Yeah I do too.” Glancing at the time and seeing that it was just past 4 AM he figured he might as well cook the breakfast items before the two of them passed out for the night. Carefully he stood, holding her in his arms as he made his way over to the kitchen slowly. As he walked with Eri in his arms she called out, “Alexa, play Absolutely story of a girl.” She took in a sharp breath as the voice called back out to her and the melody started. Aizawa didn’t understand why she chose such a song, but he could always guess. With the tears lining her eyes he felt like he didn’t have to dig too deep to guess why.

Carefully placing her down in a chair Aizawa moved around the kitchen, feeling lifeless as he moved his body from each spot. While collecting ingredients and utensils he couldn’t help but let his mind wander to the time Eri excitedly explained to him how Hawks had used all his feathers to make them both spaghetti, and how amazing it all was to her. How he had such control over each and every one of them, able to think of their movements while seemingly unfocused on them. A knot formed in Aizawa’s twisted gut at the thought of how she’ll most likely not get to experience it again, at least not until she’s much older. Aizawa will unfortunately never be able to amaze her in such a way, he quirk wouldn’t allow for that.

Hunched over the bowl he stirred the ingredients in, his eyes felt so much heavier as he stared down, so much more tired, face strained from his lack of omitting emotion. He managed to show so much already, but it wasn’t enough. He needed to scream, he needed to yell. Something more. With a lack of distraction the tears pushed against the boundaries again, Aizawa’s shoulders shook lightly as he forced himself into a calmer state of sorts. 

Aizawa was too wrapped up in his own mind and thoughts, too wrapped up in just trying to not cry, so much so that he didn’t hear the footsteps that came from behind him. He did notice when a larger hand was rested on his shoulder which caused him to jump and turn around, meeting eye to eye with Yamada. His sigh of relief was caught when his mind processed the expression he was given. One of pity, understanding, and his own grief, “Hey.” The normally loud voice was uncharacteristically soft. That was becoming too normal for him. Biting the tip of his tongue Aizawa moved to answer slowly, “Hey,” blinking slowly he sighed and rubbed at his face, “We’re uh, we’re making cat and bird shaped pancakes.” The blond nodded, eyebrows twitched together, knowing why they would choose such a specific type of pancake.

“Let me take over,” Aizawa shook his head, “No, no. It’s fine, I got this-” the other raised a hand, “Just, please. Go sit with Eri, I don’t want you burning yourself like last time you cooked while, uhm,” his eyes flashed over to Eri for a second before looking back to Aizawa, “Under the influence, and she needs someone to hug her right now.” Letting out a defeated sigh after a moment of holding his breath Aizawa nodded reluctantly, carefully passing the bowl over into Yamada’s hands. 

Pushing past the blond he smiled to Eri while he pulled up a seat, “Papa is going to finish them for us, try his best to shape them just right.” The small girl nodded, waiting a moment before letting her tired head fall onto Aizawa’s side. He brought up his hand to pet her hair gently. Her voice piped up quietly, as if she didn’t want to speak but had to.

“Does big brother Shinsou know yet?”

Tensing at the question the hero shook his head, “No. There wasn’t a good time to tell him or any of the students he’s with. They’ll probably see it on the news tomorrow morning, and I’ll get to talk it over with them when we go back to class.” He explained gently to her. Eri seemed to frown, like she didn’t like the answer, so she didn’t ask any more questions. 

Silence consumed them.

Silence.

It felt bitter.

But soon enough fresh pancakes were being plated and brought over by Yamada, set down in front of three spots instead of six like last time. At first they ate in slow silence before Aizawa hummed out, looking over to Yamada, “So you finished at four today?” He pondered and the blond nodded, “Everyone just caught wind of what had happened, we were basically ran out for the news to take over.” Bile rose up Aizawa’s throat for the second time that night and suddenly it felt like he couldn’t eat anymore. Nodding he looked down at the funnily shaped pancakes. 

Yamada meanwhile looked over to Eri, who still had tears drying on her face, “So dad told you?” He asked her gently. With her head coming up she nodded, forcing in a deep breath before her small voice came out, “Yes, but, but he said that Keigo would rather have us be happy he lived rather than sad that he,” a moment of silence filled the room, “Rather than be sad he went to heaven.” Yamada smiled like his right lung was brutally ripped out to be given to someone who desperately needed it.

Nodding Yamada spoke up again, “Mhm, he would, but remember that it’s still okay to be sad.” She sniffled and nodded back in understanding, “You can be sad, everyone is, but remember to smile because we were lucky enough to have him in our lives.” A painful smile made its way across the blonds face, “He flew above us to protect us with his wings, and he’ll do the same now. Like your own guardian angel.” At the statement Eri put up her own front, as if she was trying to be a ten foot brick wall that could never be brought down, speaking out her shaky voice gave away how she truly felt, “Like, like how he’ll always watch over you two as well.” The nods that came from the two heroes were strained, “Yeah, just like that.”

The rest of their too early breakfast finished in silence. Aizawa opting to put away and clean dishes while Yamada took Eri to her room to get her back to bed. Once out of the kitchen and the last plate was clean of any extra syrup Aizawa felt himself tremble and lean forward to latch onto the side of the sink. Taking in a deep breath he felt himself sink to his knees, still gripping the metal as if his life depended on it.

Footsteps came from the small hallway that held Eri’s room back to the kitchen. Pausing at the entrance, “Aw Sho,” the voice was quiet and quickly the footsteps moved to him. Arms wrapped around his torso and Aizawa twisted to wrap his own arms around the blond's neck, letting out a loud cry into the others chest while Yamada twisted him right and then picked him up. Hurriedly taking him to their room so Eri wouldn’t hear her dad cry out again.

With the door closed Aizawa pulled away, tears streaking down his face, “This is my fault ‘Zashi. It’s all my fault.” Yamada cupped his face, about to say something but was quickly cut off by the other, “I should have known. I, of all people, should have known. I should have seen that fucking mask of his rebuild itself after the last time he babysat Eri. He, he was so-” “distant?” Aizawa nodded, squeezing his eyes shut in attempts to lessen the tears, “Yes! I should have stopped to ask why, but I didn’t. Now we’re here, and I failed him as a hero. I failed him as a person.” 

A soft kiss was pressed to his forehead, which caught him off guard enough in his rant for the other to move down and steal a kiss from his lips. Quick and chaste, once Yamada pulled back from Aizawa the blond looked at him with worry, “Sho, we should have both seen it. We should have all seen it. Before that first meeting. Before the raid.” He bit down on his lip, “We all noticed how he seemed to act in a way that naturally made something feel off. He’s incredibly intelligent yet acting as arrogant as he could so no hero looked into him. He didn’t want us to know. But we could all see just barely past it, and no one thought much of it.”

The words hurt more because of how true they were. Everyone just blamed it on his age, but that’s probably exactly what the kid wanted. Yamada reached up to wipe at his own eyes, “But the thing is, everyone should have known that. Every hero should have asked a few more questions.” The blond's voice cracked as he hiccuped lightly, “‘Zashi,” The blond shook his head, “No, let’s,” he paused, “Let’s get some rest. The kids are going to need us tomorrow morning once they see the news, and you’re going to have one hell of a hangover.” After a moment of searching the green eyes in front of him Aizawa nodded, moving to lay down under the sheets as the other stood to get ready. Under such heavy blankets he still felt cold.

Aizawa wasn’t sure how long he stared up at the ceiling, but the next thing he knew all the lights around him shut off and the other was climbing to his side. Turning on his side to watch the faint shadow of his husband move, Aizawa soon found himself, still drunk, with his head pressed into the other's chest. Yamadas arms were quick to find themselves around him, and a nose was pressed into the top of his head. For a few hours, they were able to be each other's world to confide in and seek comfort from.

“The papers say it’s Doomsday, the button has been pressed. We’re gonna nuke each other up boys, ‘til old Satan stands impressed. And here it is, our final night alive.”

Chapter Text

Bakugo was the first one up. He always was, he was the only one who went to sleep early enough to wake up and have a good amount of time to exercise in the morning. This day in particular felt off though, but every day had since the presentations, the air was always much more tense and conversations lower. Yet somehow, when he woke up something was even more off putting, something more different. He didn’t know what it was, but something was off. 

He went on his run, he lifted his weights, he did all his stretches, he did everything like how he normally would. The weighted feeling never left. It pissed him off to no end, cursing himself for being weak enough to fall for something that probably meant nothing. It pissed him off until he got back to the dorms. Iida would be up soon, and Bakugo always had the news on by the time he entered the living space.

So once he was back in the building the blond made his way over to the TV, grabbing the remote and turning it on. Switching channels from whatever his idiot friends were watching the night before to the news. Walking away from the screen and into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water as he listened in. 

“Now for breaking news, be warned this information and photos could be disturbing to younger viewers,” 

The blond paused, moving himself to behind the couch while staring at the screen. Still taking in deep breaths while recovering from the morning work out, his body immediately froze when he was able to see the rest of the headline. 

“Breaking News: Number Two Hero Found Dead in His Home”

Bakugo’s eyes were wide, staring at the words as if they shouldn’t be there. They shouldn’t. That wasn’t right. This can’t be right. His body froze in the moment, unable to move as the information sank in. As if on cue Iida appeared from down the hall, calling out, “Good morning Bakugo,” he paused, taking in the others uncharacteristic stillness, a serious tone washed over his words, “What happened?” Shuffling over and turning his head to look at the screen Iida paused just the same as the other, eyes becoming wider after reading the impossible headline.

“Oh my.” Was all that was able to leave his mouth. Beats of silence between the two passed, the only sound being the news anchor explaining how Hawks was found dead in his own bedroom, before Iida turned, “I’ll,” he gulped, “I’ll go get the rest of the class. They deserve to know this, and they’ll only be awake after this report is finished.”

The other rushed off, giving a frozen blond no time to argue. Iida couldn’t believe what his eyes were just met with. It was a shocking reality, but reality nonetheless, and as class representative he should be the one to help his classmates through this tough time.

With a pained heart he called the girls to ensure their privacy, knocking on each of the boys doors while on the phone, pointing each in the path of the living space where Bakugo stood and listened in on the full story.

Tokoyami was already up, so he was quick to get to the door when the other knocked, unsure why anyone would try to get a hold of him so early. As he opened the door any greeting he would give turned to ash on his tongue. Iida stood in the doorway, talking to Uraraka on his phone. Pausing to give him a pained look, and then pointing him in the direction of the living space. Dark Shadow tilted its head at the action in curiosity, but a pit formed in Tokoyami’s gut.

He was quick to nod and push past the other, quick on his feet as he made his way to the already forming crowd of shocked and tearful classmates who stared at the screen. Moving forward his eyes landed on the headline. 

There was a moment of calm before the storm, tears formed in his eyes, the last time that happened was ironically when he was saving Hawks from Dabi. Dark Shadow let out a deep whine as the news anchor spoke.

“It is believed that the hero took his own life, evidenced by the noose that was on the ceiling fan, but mysteriously his body was placed on the bed after his death and stuffed plushies of heroes were rested in his arms. No fingerprints have been found, and sources say who ever moved the body did not alert the authorities.”

There was a mutual understanding amongst the silent class. Someone who could leave behind no trace? Someone who wouldn’t want to contact the police or any other heroes? Someone who knew Hawks well enough to feel comfortable enough to put the body to rest? A single name could come to mind, a single person who could get there in time.

“Now we will warn you that the following photos are disturbing to some viewers, please watch with caution.” 

As the screen slowly faded out, and the first photo took its spot, a wide shot of the room was shown, Hawks’ body seen a bit further away, half covered in blankets, but his face was visible. There was no color, no life, no nothing. It caused one of his other classmates to cry out, Iida was quick to come up and hold them in a meaningful embrace. Dark Shadow let out a loud cry as well, but Tokoyami felt like he couldn’t breathe.

This wasn’t real. It couldn’t be. He risked everything to save Hawks’ life. Hawks was his mentor. Hawks was his friend. Hawks didn’t deserve this fate. Even if death was just another important part of life, Tokoyami couldn’t handle it. Large tears rolled down his face while his hand grabbed at his chest, forcing his eyes to look down at the ground and away from the next photo that was just too close up on the lifeless body.

Choking on a sob gentle arms wrapped around him, his brain taking far too long to recognize that they belonged to Tsu. Carefully wrapping his own trembling arms around her his legs felt weak beneath him. She was also short of breath and teary eyed, and yet she was willing to put it aside to comfort him. Knowing how close he and Hawks were. Knowing the pain he likely felt.

As the news anchor was reading out the note Hawks left behind Tokoyami shook his head, “Turn it off.” Tokoyami couldn’t even recognize his own voice as it came out broken by a quiet sob. Dark Shadow emphasized his request with a screech and luckily for them both someone shut off the TV. As Tokoyami shook in the careful embrace he couldn’t help but recognize the fact that the entire situation felt wrong.

“For the very first time there I see someone with the same pains as me. Having done this time and time again, she wore a yellow cardigan. I just want to stop the scars that grow, every time that I go home. That’s why I came up here instead, that’s what the girl in the cardigan said.”

The bath water was cold. The tub itself was cramped. Considering how smushed he was between the faux porcelain sides, he couldn’t help but feel so small in the restroom he now claimed as his own. The ceiling he stared up at was beige, boring, and only slightly fucked up, the descriptors reminding him of himself. Though in the moment, he wanted to look up to a beautiful blue sky instead. He wanted to lay in a bright green field while searching for shapes in the clouds, maybe a bunny or something that he could point out to someone else, then laugh at his own childish behaviors. 

Yet he couldn’t, because now he rested in a tub too small for him and honestly he wanted to get out of it as quickly as possible now. It was making his muscles sore, and he couldn’t take the cramped feeling anymore. So he rested his hands against the sides of the tub and pushed himself up, water splashing around his form as it poured over limbs, falling back into the waiting waves below. Reaching down he pulled the stopper up to let the water drain, once standing again he reached over and grabbed the towel that hung on the wall next to the bath.

While drying himself he carefully stepped over the side of the tub before planting his foot on the mat. Once out he let his feet carry him to the space in front of the mirror, hands moving the towel over his hair to dry, only to pause when his eyes accidentally looked down at his own body's reflection. Small scars, either from training, battles, or were self inflicted many years ago, they all littered his skin. Tiny reminders of who he was, what he became, what they molded him into. Tiny reminders of why he refused to go back now. Tiny reminders of how far he’s come.

Distain bubbled up from his gut and traveled through him, pulsating and fueled by his unkempt rage. They did this to him. They wanted to do it again. They were sick and wanted to ensure that he was just as broken as they wanted him to be. He refused to be whatever the hell they wanted him to be. He refused to let them dictate his life anymore.

Then his eyes stared into their own reflection. Lined with dark marks, accented by growing bags, and his once bright yellow iris’ now resembled a dull gold. 

Man, Keigo knew he looked like shit but this was just sad.

Exhaustion overtook the former hero, causing him to sigh out while he gripped the side of the bathroom counter. Leaning forward and bowing his head, trying to get his brain to focus on what to do next. What’s his next step? What can he do? Lay low and keep watch from a distance. Yeah, but that left him alone for so much of the time. It made Keigo emotionally tired just thinking about his lack of future distractions. He doesn’t think that the Commission would go back on their word, but he would much rather be safe rather than sorry.

Shivering after standing for so long with only a towel to cover himself Keigo finally moved to grab his clothes. Sweatpants and a t-shirt, a classic sleeping combo , he lifelessly mused to himself. Once he finished changing he dragged his feet along from the bathroom to the bedroom of the small apartment he managed to snag as a private and incredibly cheap deal. Keigo was lucky that he was able to withdraw so much in such a short amount of time, it would cover him for a while until he managed to find some kind of legal way to obtain money.

Falling into the bed face first his small wings flapped and trembled from the cool air after just taking a cold bath. The few feathers he detached to try and squeeze himself into the tub came flying back to him to reattach themselves to the rest of them. The growing weight from his steadily healing wings on his back was pleasing. In the dead of night, once they’re all grown back he could fly out into the rural part of the country. Maybe a section that doesn’t have many people and even fewer TV’s, hell start a farm with a bunch of his own chickens. The small daydream was reassuring, a bit of hope for Hawks to move away from this all after being completely sure that Eri and her family was safe.

Maybe it was selfish to want to run away when he can, but what else is for him here? The country thinks he’s dead, he gave the heroes what they needed to counter the Commission, if he steps in anymore they would criminalize all of the heroes that kept Hawks’ status of being alive a secret, including Hawks himself. If they didn’t then they really would hide him away for just a bit longer to truly break him. The thought by itself made a shiver trail up his spine. 

Then the thought of hiding away came back to him. Maybe by a lake. Maybe if the others really worked their brains they would manage to track him. Maybe they would visit him. Turning his body he let out a deep sigh he rolled onto his back, closing his eyes and letting his imagination take over. Eri would run up to him and hit him meekly, crying and yelling at him that he scared all of them. He would chuckle and lean over to pick her up in a hug. While holding her tight he would spot Yamada and Aizawa, shooting them a knowing smile before putting Eri down to walk over and hug the other two. He would treat them to a dinner that Keigo learned to make while in hiding, Yamada would joke about him having a ton of free time to get better.

Maybe a bit of awkwardness would befall them all a few times, but they would roll through it. He would take Eri on her first fly, being careful so the wind doesn’t treat her too evilly. She would laugh and giggle, and maybe if she trusted him enough she would stick her little arms up in the air. So many maybe’s rushing through his head it distracted him from the ugly truth, but he enjoyed and welcomed the warm distraction.

With a sigh he moved around to climb under the covers, pulling in one of the pillows he brought to his chest. Legs coming up so his thighs held the bottom, torso curled down to grasp the top. It was a pitiful sight really, but he didn’t mind. In fact he was more grateful than anything in his situation, the sounds of cars outside the building provided him enough white noise to drown out most of his thoughts. Strangely calming down his excited bird brain enough to fall asleep.

Cold.

He felt so cold.

His eyes shot open with a soft gasp being ripped from him, which was quickly followed by frantic breathing. The room was small, far too small for anything good. Cracked lips and a dry throat taunted him and from his vantage point in the corner of the room he spotted a large cup of water, waiting just for him. Quickly moving to stand he stopped himself, dropping to his knees, his hands dug into the ground as his head spun, vision cluttered with black spots, and he had to strain his throat to cut off any upcoming bile. Pausing for a moment he quickly heaved in deep breaths before crawling over to the cup.

Once it rested in his hands he brought it to his lips, drinking it down in large gulps, only stopping half way to catch his breath. Setting down the water he wiped his mouth, trying to will his mind into working properly. Where was he? What happened? Why was he here?

As hazy memories slowly poured into his mind Hawks’ body felt so much heavier. Staring to the ground as he finally moved over to sit down, eyes focusing on nothing while he brought weak knees to his chest. Touya, he was gone. Pain shot through his chest. Hawks was there, he was there, he watched it happen. One of the handlers tried to pull him back; the world finally felt like it stopped spinning. One of the handlers tried to pull him back but Hawks sharpened his wings and killed him. 

He killed him.

Hawks killed someone.

Hawks was in solitary.

Lifeless eyes burned, faintly recognizing the extra weight on his chest that belonged to the device that restrained his wings, an itch grew across his arms. Reaching over to slowly scratch at it, the itch remained, forcing him to scratch more. But the need never lightened, it only got worse, and worse. Thoughts raced through his tired head, everything rushing through his thoughts rather than the fact that he needed more water.

Touya was gone.

Touya was dead. 

Touya was dead because of him.

Touya was dead.

Touya was dead.

Touya was dead.

Touya was dead-

Gasping out Keigo shot up, a cold sweat had formed on his body, sticking his clothes to his skin as unrecognized tears trailed down from golden eyes. He forced deep breaths to enter his system as his head spun from the sudden jump up, bringing his hand up he held his head, shoulders shaking. At first it was gentle but quickly morphed into uncontrollable tremors, being short of breath didn’t help and it made him grab at his own arms, knees coming up to push themselves into his chest.

Keigo felt like he couldn’t breathe and nothing surrounding him helped. The space wasn’t as familiar as his old condo, it wasn’t even as familiar as Aizawa’s guest bedroom. The place was run down and no amount of scrubbing would change that. Walls being paper thin his sensitive ears could pick up on the loud thumping music from a few rooms down, along with more the pronounced sound of a bedframe hitting a wall.

It all felt like too much. The sounds while they drowned his thoughts, they made his ears ring, the overbearing sensation rattled his brain and just hurt him all over. Keigo needed an out. He needed to get out. He couldn’t let those memories take over again. He couldn’t just let them flash across his mind, nor could he just sit here and let himself crack under the static pressure of the universe. 

Keigo didn’t know where he would go, but it just had to be away from the night. Just for the night. The transition would be rough so he would allow this night to be for himself just this once. Then he could hide in the apartment for the time being, word searches and sudoku books in hand to pass the time before finally flying off when everything was cleared. When everything was better.

Quickly slipping off his sweat drenched clothes he threw on a pair of dark pants, a plain t-shirt and a jacket which he shoved the smallest version of his wings under after detaching as many feathers as possible. Then taking hold of the empty backpack he let the detached feathers fall into the bag, covering the small bump on his back when he slipped the bag on. Finally slipping on black shoes, and covering his bird's nest of hair with a cap.

Looking at himself in the bathroom mirror he couldn't help but frown. While his most notable feature was covered his second most notable feature still managed to stand out on his face. Biting down on his lip he weighed the pros and cons of going out, just because of the markings. Because of his previous status as a hero many people had modeled their eyeliner after his own markings, especially if he went somewhere a bit more on the wild side of town Keigo likely wouldn’t be the only one.

Plus he was pronounced dead already, how many people were willing to seem crazy or just seem to be in incredible shock by saying he’s alive. Keigo could always stop by a drug store and put foundation over the marks if needed as well. Heaving out a deep sigh he shook his head. He’ll be fine, he would just have to stick to dimly lit buildings or stray from lampposts. 

With his key in his pocket he left the room, passing by others quickly to avoid the deafening sounds that they produced. With a thick gulp once going down the stairs Keigo held his breath until he reached the sidewalk. With no one around he tilted his head up he looked to the moon before taking in a deep breath. The air still slightly chilled under the blanket of night wasn’t as stuffy as his new apartment, sure he wasn’t free but the cage was open. He could finally step out.

Closing his eyes he just breathed. He just let the air wash over him as the breeze danced around. There was something oddly relaxing about the sensation. Maybe it’s because he finally wasn’t in the harsh grasp of anyone but himself now. Letting out a soft huff of air he turned down the sidewalk and let his feet lead him down the streets. No better way of getting to know a place rather than exploring it.

So that’s what he did. Walking down the shady streets, passing seedy alleyways, spotting the family owned stores and sandwich shops that are probably far better than any chains. The buildings all seemed at least a bit run down or old, some more than others, but none entirely bright and new. It reminded him of his home town, when his mother would lead him from home to the liquor store when his father was out for work.

His heart slumped into his chest at the memories. He didn’t want to remember them either right now. He didn’t want to remember anything. He just wanted to feel like a blank canvas for the night. Like he was thrown into the world and just started his life. Keigo couldn’t think of much that would get him to that point, to that feeling. That was until the tell tale sign of music so loud that the vibrations made his feathers twitch.

Something yelled at him to turn back. There would be too many people. Too many eyes that were able to pick him apart, but he reminded himself that so many of them are drunk or so far gone that they likely wouldn’t be able to decipher anything that his own body presented to any onlookers. Stepping closer to the buzzing building with the large bouncer in front of it, probably there to ensure either no criminals get in and ruin the place's reputation, or that no cops get in and ruin the place's reputation.

The saliva in his throat felt thick as he gulped it down, ducking behind a building and into an alley he hid the backpack he carried behind garbage bags to ensure no one took notice of it before stepping back out into the sidewalk and closing in on the building. The bouncer took notice and was quick to straighten up and looked down at the much smaller, far less threatening looking man. The man's face was twisted into a sour frown as his eyes poured into Keigo’s in the dim light, “State your business.”

Keigo wasn’t quite sure what to say in return, “Uhm, here for a fun time? Some drinks and hazy memories in the morning? Maybe a headache tomorrow too?” He spoke out in a playful tone to the other, masking his true feelings out of instinct. The much larger man seemed to take the bait though, uncrossing his arms to stick out his hand to Keigo, “I.D. please.” Keigo nodded and pushed his hand into his pockets, pulling out a wallet and producing the fake I.D. that his buddy, who also made the fake body, made for him. 

The man scanned over the I.D. carefully, as if expecting some other bit of information to jump out and slap him in the face, but it didn’t and he handed Keigo his fake card back. Stuffing it in his wallet he shoved everything back into his pocket while the larger man moved out of the way. Eyeing Keigo as he moved inside. Maybe he figured the I.D. was fake but didn’t care, or maybe there was another reason that Keigo didn’t pick up on. Either way he got inside and that is what mattered.

Once inside he quickly glanced over the small sea of people before moving over to the wall to his left, heading straight for the bar. Pulling out a seat he took his spot, calling out to the bartender for a shot of whiskey and a beer. The night went from there. He listened to the thumping music as he threw his head back for the two shots he ordered, and while he sipped from the cold bottle of beer that was the cheapest he could get.

Keigo let the burn and buzz from the drinks drown out his thoughts as best as he could, he wanted to ensure that he would still be good to get himself back home while still letting himself relax into the feeling. Limiting himself for the sake of himself and his wallet was at the top of his mind when ordering, so when a third shot was presented by him from the bartender his eyebrows shot up, “Uh, sorry but I didn’t order this.” He quickly stated, not wanting to spend more money than he needed. 

Looking to him the bartender hummed, nodding in the direction of someone else on the other side of the counter who sat on their own barstool, “He did, said he’d cover it for you.” Keigo paused, fuck, “Alright, thanks. But if he tries to order me another tell him that there’s no need.” The bartender nodded in understanding, obviously not their first rodeo in this situation, “Of course.” Keigo offered them a nod in return, “Thank you.” Before turning his head back down. Even though the lights were dimmed he didn’t want anyone taking notice of him.

With a sigh he turned his attention to the third shot, throwing it back quickly before setting the glass down, then returned to the glass bottle. Telling himself that once he was finished with it he would leave and head back to the apartment, Keigo would be stumbling enough as it is. 

But that plan was thrown out the window entirely as the man on the other end stood and walked over to Keigo. With clenched teeth Keigo reminded himself to remain calm as the other spoke to him. He raised an eyebrow to the man as he neared. The man in turn offered Keigo a smile as he sat on the barstool next to him, “Hey there, tried ordering you another drink but the bartender said that you wanted to cut it off?”

Keigo hummed, hoping this would be quick enough, “Yeah, I’m not trying to fall over five times while walking home.” He mused out to the other, who nodded and took a sip from his own drink, “Ah, well I wouldn’t mind helping you back home if you needed.” Biting down on the inside of his cheek Keigo let out a chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck, “Listen man I just came here to have some drinks, maybe dance a bit, and then head home. That was it.” He tried to explain.

The man nodded and cleared his throat, “I’m just out here looking for someone to have a bit of fun with is all, and you didn’t seem to be waiting on anyone,” Keigo shook his head, “Listen-” “I’ll pay you.” Keigo paused before shaking his head, “I’m sorry?” He questioned the older man, who quickly wetted his lips, “I’ll pay you for anything you do.” The offer was tempting but, “Sorry, I’m also not looking to follow someone else home and spend hours out of the comfort of my own home.” He countered simply.

Yet the man persisted, “Who said anything about following me anywhere, or spending that long out? Fifty for that pretty little mouth of yours, just outside in the alley.” He shrugged to Keigo. Internally the twenty three year old cringed, finishing off the beer bottle he ran his tongue over his teeth. Thinking about the choice presented to him from the other, thinking why he should and why he shouldn’t. Flashes of a life made their way behind closed distant eyes. What would they think? Tensing at the intrusive thought he realized that he wasn’t as drunk as he wanted to be. 

Sighing out Keigo rubbed his forehead while giving the other his answer, “Make it eighty and another shot of whiskey.”

“If it’s not drugs, it’s drinks. If it’s not drinks, it’s things. If it’s not things, it’s people. Places I don’t want to be. These vices.”

A month passed, or nearly a month. Keigo really didn’t keep track of it anymore. As late Winter turned into an early Spring he found himself at that same club again and again. Learning a bit about the bouncer over his few visits and about Gado’s surprising soft side. The Commission never seemed to make a move towards Eri or her fathers over the past month, and honestly Keigo hasn’t really felt much of anything since leaving.

He let himself do small games and puzzles, yet he also found himself able to drink away most of his memory of the past few weeks, the cost of such balancing out through his side hustle, which also helped him earn more to go with the rest of his savings. He wasn’t really proud of it, but it didn’t cause him any disdain towards himself. It was hard, really and truly, to go from being a number two hero to someone who would drag anyone out to the back for a bit of oral for a decent amount of money. Keigo never went any further than that. He didn’t want anyone else to see what he hid on his back. That and the grooming from the Commission seemed to persist, making him want to seem good in the eyes of society and it’s stupid social constructs. 

But at the same time the actions done was the most intimate and affectionate contact he’s had in a long while, the time with Eri and her small family didn’t contain enough hugs that reversed how touch starved he was. At the same time he learned to enjoy it, no matter how crude the deeds would get. He would get his face held and he would get to hold onto someone else, but it wasn’t what he wanted. It was just all he could get.

Some nights he would think about how he would likely never be cuddled close again, or have someone whisper sweet nothings into his ear. How no one would kiss him gently and love him for him. No one would run careful fingers through his feathers and hum out gentle melodies to him. No one would hold his hand and dance the two of them around. No one would hold him from behind and just sway along to the sounds of no music. No one would spend the rest of their life with him. Some nights he would think about everything and he would find himself yearning to be drowned into the buzz of alcohol.

Tonight was one of those nights.

By the time he was staring up at the ceiling after trying to resign himself to a night of sleep Keigo knew he couldn’t chase away the daily nightmares that stemmed from his life. He was sitting up after a few minutes of restless turning, moving his body to climb out of the cold bed. Forcing himself to stand on weak legs he tried to find it in him to say out that everything is fine. 

It’s not fine.

This is one of the worst nights in a long time, the empty pit in his stomach only felt more hollowed. Keigo couldn’t do this, he had to force himself to do something to rip his mind away from this feeling, the emptiness was overbearing and he just wanted to lessen its power over him. So he moved lifeless limbs to carry himself to the bathroom, once in the small room he forced his head to lift up and stare at himself in the mirror. Keigo was a mess. Hairy greasy from being too tired to climb into the tub, waterlines smudged with old eyeliner which only made the bags under his eyes look bigger, darker. His eyes themselves looked dull, their normal shine replaced by an unfamiliar shadow.

With a deep sigh he used his index fingers to wipe away at the excess liner, pushing at his eyes uncomfortably, but he couldn’t care less at the feelings. Picking up the loose pencil to bring it to his eyes to fix it back up, morphing his natural lines into something thicker and less recognizable, especially as he closed the gaps between the triangles than hung off the outside of each eye. Putting the pencil down he moved to the blush, dipping the brush into the cheap makeup before running it across his nose and under his eyes, some kind of color to be added to his pale face.

Finally he grasped the lipgloss. It was the only thing he spent a good bit of money on, an old familiar brand he remembered back from his teenage years. It still looks good on him. 

After taking a moment to admire the still tired yet, visually better reflection Keigo left the room to go look through his small pile of clothes. Picking up a pair of dark high waisted pants he searched the pile, pausing on a few shirts that would look nice, but he wasn’t too big a fan of, finally stopping on a short sleeve shirt that had baby blue and white stripes. Figuring it would look fine enough he stood to get changed. 

Once everything was slipped on, along with a pair of shoes he grabbed a large denim jacket, shedding off his wings that had grown back a good amount and nearly completely finished healing, before shoving them in the same old backpack that he would hide away in an alley. With the jacket on, hat in hand, and the backpack resting on a shoulder Keigo was soon leaving the dead space he called an apartment.

Once again he rushed down the stairs like he did almost every night, wallet and keys hidden deep in his pocket. Only pausing his journey once outside to enjoy the warm breeze on his face. Feeling something before shoving the hat on his head and walking down the sidewalk, heading to his destination, able to tell that he gets close with the sounds and thumping of loud music. Keigo wasn’t sure how to feel about it anymore, and honestly he wasn’t sure if he cared about feeling anything. 

After taking the small detour to depart with his hidden backpack Keigo stepped back out, quickly making eye contact with Gado, who offered him a nod in acknowledgement to let him know that he could enter. As Keigo passed the larger man openly let his eyes follow, knowing of the other’s reputation. He knew he should care, just because he had a reputation didn’t give the other any right to openly stare at Keigo like he was simply a piece of cake. 

But Keigo really didn’t feel much towards the situation.

Keigo really didn’t feel much of anything at all.

So he moved himself into the club, quickly heading towards the bar, ordering several shots of whiskey and waited. It didn’t take long anymore, and he wanted to be halfway to the moon when someone approached. Once his shots were served and Keigo had thrown them back the bartender gave him another small glass and nodded in the direction of the man it came from. Looking in the direction of her nod he took in the appearance of a thirty something year old man who all in all looked average. When their eyes met Keigo flashed a soft smile to the other, an invitation, and the other accepted. Making his way over the man fidgeted with his shirt, before stopping in front of Keigo. Words caught in his throat before choking out a small, “Hey.”

Keigo would have chuckled a few weeks ago at the man's shyness, “Hey.” He hummed back out, fingers gently grasping the shot the other ordered for him. The man cleared his throat before starting, “So I hear you do special,” he paused, “Services?” Keigo nodded, feeling the light buzz forming, “I do, and I only do oral.” He stated simply a fake playful smile dancing on his lips. The other nodded before Keigo continued, “Prices range on what you want.” The newcomer's face seemed to heat up before he nodded in understanding, “Of course, of course, do I pay before or after?”

Humming Keigo threw the shot back, “Either works, after is fine, but if we do anything and you don’t pay me or try to scam me, don’t be mad if I beat you up.” Keigo spoke in a teasing tone, yet obviously serious manner, no matter the forming slur in his voice. Nodding the brunette stumbled over his words while trying to radiate false confidence, “Of course, that is completely understandable.” He winked at Keigo with a soft chuckle.

Keigo could appreciate the effort, but honestly it didn’t leave any impact on him, but he could act like it did. Swiveling on the seat he stood, lifting a hand and using a single finger as a classic follow me signal, leaving his hand extended for the other to take. The man seemed proud to actually complete the interaction, taking Keigo’s hand while he led him to the back door.

In the moment Keigo couldn’t help but smile, the others hand was warm in his own, the others hand was calloused and rough, contrasting his personality and how he held himself. The man even held onto Keigo’s hand like an eager child, a child about to rush into a candy shop that was constructed just for them. The moment contact was made Keigo felt something again through the soft buzz, rather than continuing the night's theme of feeling nothing. A small welcoming warmth bloomed in his chest.

As he opened the door his head was lifted and the world stopped, his blood going cold as dull golden eyes met a blazing blue.

Chapter Text

The calm before the storm was patronizing. Ice seemed to scale up Keigo’s body as his eyes were locked with the fire quirk user. There was nothing at first. No tension. No rage. No attacks. Just pure shock as the two stared into the eyes of the other. Silently observing the person before them, ensuring that they were in fact who they seemed to be. Feelings meant nothing, but the view of betrayal ran across the turquoise iris’. 

In that moment the tension formed in half a second, then burning unkempt rage visibly flowed through Dabi as Keigo’s blood was frozen solid with fear taking over his very being. From the taller man's left arm burst out their signature bright blue flames while the right hand quickly grabbed at the blond’s throat, pulling him over only to slam his back into the bricks of the wall. Eye’s never breaking contact he spoke out to the man who was startled in the doorway, “You have two seconds to leave or I turn you into ash too.”

With the very real threat being shot at him the man was quick to rush back into the building, door closing behind him, and just like that the two were alone in the alleyway, the dark sky they stood under was still littered with stars that Keigo might join in just a few minutes if this went south. Which it likely will, at least that’s what his inebriated mind was whispering to him. This is how I die.

In the beat of silence before the villain spoke the grip around Keigo’s neck tightened with fury laced into each long finger that pressed against his skin, “You,” was all he could force out and Keigo didn’t know what exactly he would want the other to say before killing him. Why not just get it over with? Unknowing in the moment Keigo just accepted his incoming fate, there was obviously nothing he could do to stop the other, so why fight it? Eri’s been fine, and this far in she will continue to be fine because her parents would protect her unlike how his own gave him away, “You killed Twice.”

The statement was like pouring iced water down his back. A stunned face morphed into one of pain and regret. Moving to answer to the fact with some kind of response, but the other cut him off, his palm steadily growing more heated with time, “You kill him and you run off like a fucking coward, in the arms of a child.” The glare grew in intensity, “They really got you thinking that using kids was good? If it was for the greater good, am I right?” The accusation hurt, and he didn’t know what to say right away but when he did the other only cut him off again.

“And then in a move of complete bullshitery you hang a dead body from your bedroom ceiling fan,” an arrow was shot through Keigo’s heart at the mention of his most questionable actions, yet at the same time rage bubbled in his own gut. I had to. It was to keep them safe. To keep her safe. The Commission was going to hurt those kids like they did to them, “You hung a dead body from the fan and faked your own fucking suicide!”

There was something unsaid between the two about the manner in which Hawks died. Maybe a hint of concern that Keigo no longer had the ability to see.

“I went in after four of your hero friends left. I snuck in your building for a little chat, picked your lock, and went inside. Do you know what I found little bird?” The old nickname was coated in venom and there was hate that the other poured out of his mouth. It accented every word and bolded those ten letters, “I found your body hanging,” the heat in his palm flared before dying down as his left arms' flames became bigger, “Just like the others .”

Keigo nearly choked out a sob at the vaugest mention of their old unit, his past seemingly having caught up to him. It tore down the paper thin walls he managed to forge before grabbing him from each limb and pulling. The pain excruciating as each previously dulled knife of the past was sent into his gut. Tears finally caught up with the situation, stinging his eyes as his words kept leaving him. The air being free for the taking, while he simply just tried to force out why. 

“So I, the only one with some fucking decency, put your fake body to rest because it didn’t need a goddamn investigation, it needed peace.” As he yelled the staples were being pulled, nearly popping off with each stretch of his jaw opening. A small bit of blood trailed down from one of the center staples on his eyes, mimicking the tears he couldn’t weap, “I decided to set aside the fact that you fucking murdered one of my closest friends to respect the fact that you dealt with shit in life that got us both to that point, and that you didn’t need to die the way they wanted you to go. Yet, you stand here, a month later. Alive.” He doesn’t know. 

“Why?” The question sounded simple enough, yet it was so weighted that Keigo’s chest felt like it was going to cave in, “Why do it?” He doesn’t know, “Why go into so much trouble to drag your sorry ass here for the night? Or maybe the week, or the whole month? Only you know!” The sarcasm was thick in his tone as his glare grew brighter, “Answer me, why. Why do all of this. Why fake your death when you have so much shit left to clean up, hero. More kittens to save from trees. More babies to kiss. And more fear to miserably fail to corral, because we will always come back!” His tone sounded maniacal while also filled with its own grief and troubles, putting on his own mask or just intensifying it. Either way it only made Keigo want to curl in on himself and disappear completely, being forced to face reality.

A pause engulfed them before Dabi yelled out again, “Why!”

“They were going to start the program again!” He yelled out, the world fading to quiet as the flames weakened for a passing moment. Tears poured out of his eyes as his shoulders trembled. Dabi’s furious expression turned into a softer exasperated tone with the flames of anger dying down. His voice that once screamed at him came out soft with confusion seeped into the single syllable, “What?” The gentle tone only made Keigo heave out another cry, shaking fingers gripping the brick he was being pinned to.

“They-” his breath hitched as he gasped in a breath of air, blue eyes glancing down to uncontrollably trembling arms before looking back up to the others face, “They wanted to restart the program because,” he bit into his lower lip roughly as he forced the next sentence out of him as best as he could, “Because I lived?” Keigo’s voice cracked weakly, “Because I did what they wanted, which was to live and become a hero.”

His eyes turned to the ground, wet droplets falling onto the concrete next to his feet, “They wanted at least twice the amount of kids. They, they said that they didn’t care about the failures if they could have another hero like,” Gulping thickly he gestured to himself, not wanting to say another word on the matter, but he forced himself to spill it all, “They wanted me to be their fucking, their teacher. To dictate what to do with them, and I couldn’t-'' His voice was cut off by his own sob.

“I couldn’t do that to any group of kids, but they also wanted Eri and that girl,” he shook his head, “She’s already been through too much for a lifetime, and they know that I know that, so I could only imagine what other kids they would try to hand me.” He felt weak under the watchful gaze of the other, “And they said it was because I was able to make it out alive. That I did the only thing that they taught me to do. They said that they would do it all again because I wasn’t a failure, and I refused to let that be the only reason for them. I’d,” he curled into himself slightly as water dripped from his chin, “I’d rather die than let anyone do that again.”

The grip on his throat wasn’t as tight anymore, the burning rage in Dabi moved from one focus to another it seemed, but Keigo knew the other deserved to know, “As for why the fake body? I wanted to make sure that they wouldn’t go back on their word.” He paused, “They haven’t, and I don’t think they will. So continue if you want to.” His words were weakened by the strain in his throat, caused by his inability to control his emotions in this state, the last sentence he muttered barely made it out of his mouth. After it escaped though Keigo’s eyes fell closed as he braced himself for the intense heat that was surely about to come.

Instead the hand moved back from his neck and the flames were completely snuffed out in the moment. Opening tear filled eyes to look at the other he recognized the way Dabi was suddenly conflicted over something. Hands tangled in his hair as he gripped and yanked the strands, groaning with frustration, smoke pouring out of his very being. Keigo for once remained silent as he watched the other work through his own inner turmoil. 

It was taking a toll on the former hero, watching and waiting for the others' judgement to crawl out and take him by his throat again to make the final decision, but it never occurred. Instead Dabi let out a groan accompanied by a puff of smoke, turning his gaze down the alley, “Follow me.” The tone was rough, low, and yet it still managed to pierce through Hawks’ resolve, “What?” Blond eyebrows shot up in surprise and confusion. Follow him? He isn’t going to kill me? 

The other nodded, not looking Keigo in his eyes, “Yes, follow me.” Dabi halfway snapped at him. Taking the moment for himself Keigo took in a deep breath, questions and memories rushing through his head. He didn’t want to follow Dabi. He grew from a point of needing him. He healed the reopened wounds. He was able to push the other away after the years of self torment after everything that had happened between them. Keigo was able to move on.

“No.” The response was blurted out as his hands came up to hold himself, eyes looking down to the ground, fingers twitching around his own arms out of reflex, talons pricking his skin lightly, “I’m sorry?” Came the weighted response, but now with more resolve Keigo inhaled sharply and shot his head up to meet those blue eyes again, “No, I’m not following you.”

Silence befell them again, heavy against their sensitive situation. It was as if time stood still between them as tension loomed over both fallen souls, “Keigo, follow me.” The sharp request was met by a sharp answer, “No, I don’t have to.” The taller of the two pivoted on his foot and walked forward, reaching over to grab the other by the arm, Keigo quickly took the chance to step back, “Why do you even fucking want me to follow you?” He hissed out.

A raging fire in his eyes Dabi finally stopped in front of him, again the internal conflict grew visible as he debated on what to say, “You look like shit-” whatever other insult would follow was cut off by a curt laugh from the blond, littered with hiccups and a hand to his face as he gulped down the bile that threatened to come up. Clearing his throat he stood to his full height, “Oh I get it, you want to help in your own little way, is that right? Finally worried because I am the one to change now?” The venom dripped as all the pent up anger rose to the surface once again.

Pity. He hated it years ago just like he does now. At one point he allowed the other to pity him but not anymore. He doesn’t need his pity. He doesn’t need his help. He doesn’t need to take the extended hand of the other. He didn’t need to follow through with the others' requests. He didn’t need to do anything he didn’t want to.

“There’s no need to pity me Touya. I can take care of myself.” Keigo seemed to have lit a fire inside of Dabi, the flames of anger returning to him which lead to the glowering look being sent the blonds way, “You’re drunk and you look like you haven’t eaten in days, just fucking follow me for once Keigo. ” 

Under his jacket Keigo’s wings grew in size out of instinct to make himself appear larger than he is, but it was barely noticeable, “Follow you? Oh I followed you alright. That last night we snuck out? When you put me in such a rush I didn’t feel the vibrations? That led to you becoming the worst version of yourself and landed me in solitary for a fucking week? The thing that nearly made me jump out a window in attempts to fall instead of fly? I didn’t eat real food for weeks after that and I still struggle with avoiding relapses.”

The tension seemed to thicken around them as Keigo’s voice grew, Dabi moved to try and get a word in but Keigo cut him off again and inserted his own words to fill the air, “Where the hell were you then? You want to “help” now, but then? When I actually needed someone? In fact, where the fuck were you since before anything? When I turned eighteen and jumped into the top ten within six months? I was a literal fucking beacon! And you didn’t follow the obvious trail! Why? Why didn’t you follow the fucking trail!” His voice grew strained with each word he screamed, the tears having sprung in his eyes.

Taking a step back he used his arms to speak, swinging them around to emphasize his points, “Why! Did you-Did you actually fucking think that they broke me down that badly?” A cracked sob broke up the sentence, tears rolling down his cheeks, “Did you think I was going to finish their job? Or maybe you just hated that I became what I had to so they wouldn’t kill me either. Was it because you thought that I was going to be worse than where you are right now? Because Dabi you had no criminal records before the league there was no fucking reason for you to not reach out to me. I just thought that you were fucking dead, tell me why did you want to keep it that way!”

He spun around to look at him, fire in his own eyes, too drowned in his own feelings to read the other, “No criminal records. It was only a few years after what happened. I was already there for a decade and by that point they didn't manage to break me, so why would I crumble after that? You’re death hurt so much, I held you in my fucking arms, I sang our god damn song, I pleaded for your life and you never looked back at me!” His chest heaved with each breath he took in, keeping his ground as he vented.

“We could have been something more, we could have done something more! We could have changed the system everyone hates so much because it fails them more times than it helps. We could have avoided what is going to be the end of the goddamn world, but I unfortunately didn’t have anyone else there with me because they are all gone!”

His right foot was caught behind his left ankle as he moved, and he quickly grabbed hold of the wall after accidentally tripping himself. Groaning he forced himself back up onto his feet properly, arms trembling with anger as tears trekked down his face, breathing uneven as he attempted to regain his focus on the situation at hand. Leaning his forehead against the bricks he let out a sob, quickly breathing in to try and ease the oncoming tremors in his shoulders. He just wanted to go home, not the apartment he managed to keep, no he wanted to go home but he still wasn’t sure where that was before his life crashed around him. 

When did his life crash around him? When he ran off? When the other died in front of him? When he was taken in at six? He wasn’t sure of it anymore. He wasn’t sure of anything anymore. 

A hand coming to rest on his shoulder snapped him out of his thoughts, turning to the other, Dabi didn’t say anything at first before, “Just follow me.” Keigo wanted to screech at the statement. The other seemed to catch the fire in his eyes and the renewed resolve to fight against the other, because his next move was quick. Reaching up under the denim jacket he caught Keigo by the base of one of his wings, hand hot but not enough to do damage, instead it only made Keigo cringe at the feeling.

“Birdbrain, either come with me or I swear I will burn these so badly this time that they won’t be able to grow back.” While the promise felt empty the hand still resided on his smallest feathers, a phantom pain growing from the hazed memories of the raid, a ghost of an intense heat. It scared him. He didn’t want to feel the rage of the other again, he didn’t want to feel the intense heat. Gulping the handprint on his neck burned at the thoughts and fears that ran through his head.

Keigo didn’t respond to the other, but at the same time he didn’t fight back. Instead the blond chose to look to the ground, a frown etched onto his face as his eyebrows ticked upwards while pulling themselves together. The grip on his wing lessened, trailing down while his other hand came up to grab him and then with a surprising amount of care, rested Hawks over the others shoulder.

At one point Keigo just rested into the position. What’s the worst that can happen? Well, being turned into a nomu probably, but he couldn’t find it in himself to really care. He did what he could by this point and now he’s a bit of negative space, taking up too much area in the world. Letting out a deep sigh he willed his hidden feathers to bring his backpack to him. Extending an arm out to grab it and then pulling it close as he held onto it tightly so it wouldn’t fall.

His eyes grew heavy with dullness as he looked down to his own arms, examining himself closely for the first time in a long while. Trying to see what the other saw. Carefully moving one hand to his wrist he wrapped his fingers around it, pausing and then letting them drop and grab the bag.

He didn’t realize he lost so much weight.

“You were everything, everything that I wanted. We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it. All of the memories, so close to me, they just fade away. All this time you were pretending. So much for my happy ending.” 

He didn’t remember when Dabi kicked open the door to a small apartment, but he recognized the fact that he did. Keigo was being lugged to the bathroom, able to only catch a small glimpse of the rest of the room before his sight was taken over by beige walls and a large mirror. He didn’t look at himself. 

With a loud clank the toilet seat was shut and the other let the blond slip out of his arms and onto the seat. With a labored huff Dabi reached over and grabbed a rag, bringing it to the sink and running water over it before passing it to Keigo, “For your face.” For a moment he only stared at the cloth being offered, wanting to fight it, but deep down he also knew that the eyeliner he put on earlier must have been running down his face and streaked the other cheap makeup in its path.

After a moment of stillness he reached up and took the rag, trying his best to keep his mind off of whatever possible use the other kept it out for. Bringing it up to his face he roughly dragged it around in circles on his face, keeping his eyes down but halfway on the other as he moved around the room. When he heard the loud rush of water Keigo’s head shot up. Snapping his gaze to look over to the other he frowned, “You don’t need to make me take a bath.”

The other hummed in acknowledgement, “Don’t have to, but I want to. Like I said, you look like shit.” He halfway spat out at him, it only made Keigo glare at the other, “I can take care of myself, Dabi.” With a hum the villain nodded, his sharp cold gaze meeting the dilated pupils, “Oh really now. I haven’t seen your wings yet so you tell me then, when was the last time you preened?” The mocking tone only made Keigo roll his eyes, grumbling to himself in a silent defeat.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. So take a bath at least, I’ll bring you something to sleep in so you aren’t in complete garbage.” Keigo snapped his gaze back to the other, “‘Scuse you, these aren’t ripped, I look good in them, and complete garbage? Really? Weren’t you homeless?” As he poked the bear the other didn’t even dignify his words with a look, but he did have a sharp response, “Watch yourself, hero. ” The name, for some reason, made Keigo cringe. He wasn’t a hero, he never was. Only a puppet for higher powers to use.

Keigo didn’t have a comeback to that. 

He didn’t move as the other left, just watched as the bathtub was slowly being filled with water. Not really sure what to think except ask himself why was the other doing this? They obviously weren't on good terms and yet, the other was here now trying to get Keigo to take care of himself. He didn’t get it. Would I do the same?

The door opened again, an extra towel and a set of clothes were thrown on the small counter, Dabi walking over to turn off the water with a soft “tsk” escaping him. Then he just turned and walked out while closing the door. Leaving Keigo to his own devices. Letting the room rise in temperature from the water, silence all consuming once again.

Keigo took the bath, sitting there most of the time just thinking over that question. Would he do the same? What if they caught Dabi? Would he have let him out? Would the other keep their secret? Would he be forced to spill the truth anyway? Would anything have changed? Would he have actually gone through with the Commission's plan to be the children’s guidance? Would he actually have been broken enough? The results of the questions were those he desperately wanted to know, but at the same time never wanted them to be answered.

When he finally managed to pull himself up from the tub, letting the water drain, he had to make sure that he didn’t fall or slip. Carefully Keigo dried himself off in the tub, stepping out over the side slowly. Once on solid ground again he found himself in front of the sinks mirror, sneaking a glance at his reflection caused him to grimace. The eyeliner was still smudged heavily around his eyes, and there was a slight hollowedness to his face that he hadn’t noticed before.

Silently he moved to pull on the clothes that the other brought out for him. The sweatpants and t-shirt with holes cut into them to make room for his wings. They were far too large for Dabi already so Keigo was practically drowned in the fabric. Once dressed Keigo took a moment to stare down at the sink, not wanting to leave the comfort of the small room, but the steam was making his skin stick to his clothes. 

So he took a quiet step out of the bathroom, turning his head to the rest of the area. He couldn’t make out if it was decidedly clean or just empty. Maybe the other didn’t spend that much time here because it wasn’t with the league. A pull out couch held folded blankets, a TV sitting in front of it on a small table of sorts, and there was a door which likely led to an equally small bedroom. The door itself was closed because the person it typically housed was in the kitchen. 

Looking over Keigo could tell, that even with the scars under his eyes, that Dabi looked tired. He couldn’t get much besides that conclusion because once their gazes met there was no spare moment to take for his own curiosity. With a huff Dabi walked over to the other, jacket now nowhere to be seen, and a bowl in hand which was quickly pushed into Keigo’s, “Take a seat.” It was less of a suggestion and more of a demand, Keigo felt a bitter need to bite back but he forced it down. Just taking the bowl and the utensils he offered and backed up to the couch. Keigo’s eyes never left Dabi’s form, even as he turned away, not sure how much trust he could put into him.

Looking down to the bowl of instant noodles his eyes grazed the watered down broth. If Dabi was planning on killing me, it wouldn’t be with poison. Keigo mused to himself as he began to eat slowly. He didn’t particularly feel hungry, but he wasn’t full either, so he didn’t see the pain in it. Maybe he just didn’t notice himself slowing down earlier. Maybe.

From that point on the villain seemed to keep his distance, the only time he interrupted the impromptu meal was to place a bottle of water down next to him. The two didn’t say much after that. No bickering. No banter. Just silence being stretched out as the late night becomes a far too early morning. Keigo moved carefully so he wouldn’t stumble his way into the kitchen, as he filled the bowl with water and placed it in the sink the other had slinked off into his own bedroom for the time being.

It was weird. He was in the apartment of a villain who wanted him dead, and said villain was taking care of him for reasons untold. Even after Keigo yelled at him at what could have been, even after Dabi held his very life in his hands several times since the raid, even after he did the unthinkable to someone who deserved it the least. After everything the other seemed to push for something more.

Lost in his own thoughts he didn’t notice when the other appeared in the doorway of his room, looking over at Keigo with crossed arms, “Get some sleep,” He called out to the blond, but Keigo didn’t look over, he instead fixated his attention to the ground, “You need it.” And then he was gone again, and Keigo wasn’t sure how to feel or what to do in the situation, he was just left to wonder. Sleep? It sounded nice, maybe in a different place the nightmares won’t resurface again. 

With intoxicated hope he let out a deep breath, standing to his feet to turn off the remaining lights. Keeping his wings small as he unfolded the blankets so he could lay down right. Keeping one blanket laying over the couch for Keigo to rest on, and the thicker one on top. He was quick to curl into the pillow the other had given him. Pressing his back into the couch because he didn’t feel up to pulling the couch out into a bed. With closed eyes and a tight grip on the extra throw blanket he did his best to fall asleep.

Yet even still it was difficult no matter how comfortable he made himself. The faint smell of smoke made it hard to breathe. The ghost of pressure resided on his neck where a palm laid several times. The room felt far too small, smaller than it actually was. It reminded him of a room he would much rather forget all together, because he knew that it truly only meant mental and emotional torture for anyone inside. Under all the borrowed blankets Keigo was cold. It was so cold, why was everything always so cold to him? Why was everyone so cold?

Tears pricked at his eyes while talons pressed forward to slightly pierce the blanket in his hand. Willing himself to remain silent he took in the quietest deep breath he could before releasing it shakily. Repeating the process as carefully as possible to stop the tears with as little noise as he could manage. 

And yet, Touya could still hear him.

Chapter Text

Forcing himself up the next morning was difficult. With his back stiff and wings cramped between himself and the tough cushions of the couch Keigo wasn’t exactly sure how to get up without causing immense amounts of painful aching from his joints. With a soft sigh Keigo’s brows furrowed together as his eyes were squeezed shut. Planting the palms of his hands to the cushion he managed to force himself up. Leaning his side over the couch at an angle while his hands supported him. Stretching his back, three consecutive pops were heard in the surrounding air. 

Finally pushing himself up the sudden pull of post sleep exhaustion caused him to slump forward. Shoulders pressed towards the ground as he let a deep sigh escape him. A pounding headache made itself known to him the moment he was awake enough to feel it, bits of memories from the previous jumped to the forefront of his mind. Dread seemed to have consume him, especially when he realized that he was in fact still in the villain's apartment. Keigo’s brain went into overdrive as his common sense came up with all of the awful things the other could do to him while vulnerable. Maybe he planted a tracker on him and Keigo didn’t even realize it. Maybe there was a small camera watching him. Maybe he was already trapped and all the niceties from the previous night were a clear cover up.

The intrusive thoughts made him cringe and curl in on himself. Taking in deep breaths Keigo forced himself to his feet, looking around the small living room he spotted his clothes which rested on top of his bag. His feet moved quicker than his thoughts. The other wasn’t in here and he had to leave, but it also didn’t help that the clothes he wore smelled like the familiar scent of fresh ash and that Keigo had to change out of them.

Quickly slipping off the large clothes to replace them with his own Keigo didn’t pick up the subtle movement from behind him, a figure appearing in the bedroom doorway as Keigo pulled on his shirt. There seemed to only be silence mixed with the sound of moving clothing for a few moments before Dabi finally spoke up, “Leaving so soon?”

The voice made Keigo pause just as he was about to throw on the denim jacket that would manage to hopefully hide his feathers well enough now as the sun shone down to the world. Slowly he moved to place the fabric over his shoulders, voice managing to keep a calm tone as he replied, “I should get going, I have things to take care of.”

He could feel the eyebrow raise partnered with half a glare, “Well the world thinks you’re dead, you can’t possibly have that much you have to get to.” The response made Keigo grit his teeth, “At least stay for breakfast, little bird. I wouldn’t want to be a rude host after all.” Keigo ran his tongue over his teeth, feeling like a bird in too small of a cage while a cat loomed over, it’s paw able to breach the metal wiring of the enclosed space and claw the defenseless creature to death.

“I need to go.” Keigo gulped lightly as he brought the strap of his bag and rested it on his shoulder. Moving to the door his hand twisted the knob to open it, once opened he stepped through, turning back to close it. A dull gold gaze met an electric blue glare. No goodbyes were spoken as the door acted as the barrier between the two.

Even as contact was severed Keigo found himself staring at the door, deep down a bit of yearning sat in his gut. He wanted to see those eyes again, but at the same time he wanted to slam a fist into the other's face for all the pain he’s caused and imprinted trauma he’s left behind. He wanted to fight the other and yet he felt terrible for him as well.

Letting out a frustrated sigh Keigo turned around and headed down the stairs of the apartment building that was worse than his own, taking a turn the moment he stepped out of the building and into the alleyway in search of his self made hell.

“Whether near or far, I am always yours. Any change in time, we are young again.” 

With bills being shoved into Keigo’s pocket he tried not to think of the lingering taste that seemed to remain stuck to the walls of his mouth. Swishing around water in his mouth while sitting on a closed dumpster, then spitting it out onto the concrete ground. With a sigh he let his back fall onto the bricks of the familiar wall behind him. His eyes searched the sky to see if he could identify any constellations. He unfortunately couldn’t, except for one, one he and an old friend made up.

With a bittered flavor returning to his taste buds Keigo let out a sigh. His mind was once again flooded and dulled by the presence of liquor in his system. Circulating through his veins, dulling his senses, and making him vulnerable to any outside sources. Which there seemed to be, footsteps thudded against the ground, echoing in the narrow pathway. A breath escaped him as he closed his eyes, as if he was trying to disappear from the world that seemed to hate him.

A voice reverberated against the walls, low in speech, and mocking in tone, “What’s a little bird doing out by the trash? Shouldn’t you be hidden in a nest somewhere?” The familiar voice made Keigo want to roll his eyes into the next universe. His own voice was slurred but full of annoyance, “Little bird needs to find a way to pay for the nest he hides in Dabi. This way is just easy and has a low chance of me getting caught.” He failed to bring up how it also got him the smallest bit of intimacy he had craved for years, but never received.

Yet the other seemed to catch onto something else besides that, “It’s also a way for you to get drunk off of free drinks and not face your issues,” he stated in a matter of fact tone, “Or am I looking too deep into something?” Dabi’s teasing tone nearly earned an irritated snarl out of the other, “Oh fuck off, let me take a moment of peace before I go flutter back off to my little nest.” Keigo bit out to the other, which only seemed to earn him an interested hum in return.

The villain stepped closer, as if to get a good look at Keigo, tilting his head to the side, “What a truly pitiful sight. You really were a great hero, and now you’re here finding comfort in the streets Hawks-” “Don’t call me that.” The former hero cut him off, quickly correcting him and which name he decided to throw Keigo’s way. The raven haired man might have shot something in return if the eyes of the Hawk he met weren’t already rimmed red and clearly full of anger at the mention of the old name. 

Rolling his own blue eyes he let a smile return to his own face, “Well at least I know that Keigo Takami has returned to the world instead of being left as a void of a person.” Keigo didn’t even dignify him with a response. Instead he closed his eyes and rested back against the wall, trying to find peace once again, but his body seemed to have other ideas. After a few moments of stillness Keigo let out a groan as his stomach knotted and tried to push up everything he drank and ate that day.

Wrapping an arm around his stomach he puffed his cheeks, able to taste the bile that only threatened to surface. Following his actions he heard a sigh as footsteps got closer to him once again. He could feel the gentle hands of the other as his body was moved with immense amount of care. Keigo would have fought, cried, kicked, screamed, anything to get the other off of him if the sudden wave of nausea wasn’t as overpowering as it was.

Instead he found himself resting his head on the chest of a man who tried to kill him, the chest of a boy who once loved him.

As the other carried him he could hear the old nickname leave his mouth, “You dumb pigeon.” 

“I’m reeling in my brain again, before it can get back to you. Oh what am I supposed to do without you. I’m Mr. Loverman, and I miss my lover man. I’m Mr. Loverman, and I miss my lover.”

The next time Keigo found himself at the bar he wasn’t even there for what he normally was. He was resting his head on folded arms, knowing if he tried to sit up he would likely fall backwards onto the ground. He had finished his last shot, and the bartender had cut him off from buying anymore for the rest of the night. Keigo was far too gone in the others eyes, and it seemed as though he was two seconds away from offering to help him to the bathroom.

Keigo couldn’t help it tonight. The guilt had finally started to eat him up. Withering away at his heart, draining him of his blood, crowding the parasitic feeling in his mind, slowing his movements to nothing more than sobbing into his pillow earlier in the night. Treacherous thoughts of why should the self torture continue when he could find a way out, easy or not. Why hadn’t he held his own words true and just went off to find some cottage near a lake to live in for the rest of his life. Why was he still here?

Keigo had to snuff out the thoughts that plagued him and the easiest to obtain option was lots of alcohol. He had drunk himself to a near purged point of no return, had sunk into the seat he claimed while avoiding eye contact with anyone who would dare ask for a good time because his inhibitions seemed out of control.

A few of the feathers he had hid around the room earlier twitched as the air in the room seemed to tense as the noise died down slightly in one area near the back door. The area seemed to move, noise picking back up in the spots it seemed to have passed, albeit a bit quieter. The aura seemed to draw closer to the bar, Keigo could hear the bartender gasp lightly, but was quick to steel himself as footsteps rang in his ears. 

Silence came from the person who stood next to Keigo, with a peek from the edge of the counter he could see the black boots that he knew only one person would wear. He couldn’t care enough to engage in conversation but the other did, “You’re normally in the back alley by this point.” There wasn’t any venom, yet there was no concern either, the tone was more mono and bleak than anything.

Keigo could feel the eyes of the bartender and a few other patrons on them. An infamous member of the League of Villains and the clubs strangely mysterious sex worker in a situation where the villain, known for his painful live cremations, didn’t seem upset with the other when they were doing something out of the normal. It was a situation no one expected, and no one expected the seemingly lesser of the two to reply with such a sharp answer.

“Ah well slap my ass and call me Sally,” he rubbed his face as his voice slurred heavily, pausing as he raised his head to rest it on his palm, “Didn’t realize we had a thing going on.” Tired eyes met the villain's gaze, neither held malice. Instead they both felt empty as they looked at each other. 

Shaking his head Dabi moved closer, “You’re a mess. C’mon, let’s go.” When a hand reached out to Keigo he was quick to swat it away, “I’m fine. I can take care of myself.” With a raised eyebrow Dabi crossed his arms, “Really now?” Keigo nodded, “Yes really.” With a deadpan expression Dabi asked, “Then why aren’t you going home yet, you got no new drink with you and you’re just laying there. Can you even stand?”

Keigo rolled his eyes so hard he almost fell off the chair in the direction they went, “Of course I can stand.” Taking a step back Dabi gave him room to get up, “Then prove it.” The need to challenge the villain rose, but the need to prove him wrong was stronger. So Keigo sat up straight with a deep breath and carefully stood on his own two feet. Yet gravity seemed to be his mortal enemy for the day as it dragged him forward, with his balance being thrown far off Keigo would have fallen straight to the ground if two hands hadn’t stopped the fall.

Keigo refused to look up at the other, “Thank you for proving me right.” Dabi sighed, helping move Keigo to stand up halfway before placing his arm under Keigo’s knee’s, one arm behind his back, and then lifting him up, “You know, you really are your own worst enemy.” Dabi spoke out, which Keigo made a point to not say anything in return, especially as he carried Keigo through the crowd and to the back door. Trying to hide his face so he wouldn’t be associated with the villain by too many people.

Only when the cool night air hit his face did he reveal his face. The air was cold against his heated face, his head rolled back as his eyes were fixated on the clouds in the night sky. Finding one that caught his attention he didn’t have much to hold back his thoughts that just poured out from him, “That cloud looks like a bunny.” He hiccuped. The other followed his gaze to the cloud in question before shaking his head, “No way, that’s a duck.”

Groaning childishly Keigo shook his head, “No way to that, no way. A hundred percent, that is a bunny.” He couldn’t see it but the corners of Dabi’s lips twitched upwards, the moment felt familiar but new at the same time. It was easy on his tattered soul, “It’s a duck.” He counters, which only seemed to ruffle Keigo’s hidden feathers more.

“Bunny.” “Duck.” “Bunny!” “Duck.” “Bun-” “Duck.” “Oh fuck you.”

“This is not what I intended, I swore to you I’d never fall apart. You always thought that I was stronger. I may have failed, but I have loved you from the start.” 

The next time Dabi had to pick Keigo up from the bar the former hero couldn’t remember a thing. Nothing except that one minute he was drinking like there was no tomorrow and the next he was waking up with a pounding headache on the pull out couch in Dabi’s apartment. Resting on the couch just the way he liked to. 

“I can wait a thousand hours. Stay the same in sun and showers. Pick apart a hundred flowers, just to be quiet with you.”

Well, this was unexpected. Keigo stood at a distance as he watched the bar, or well, the person who currently inhabited his normal seat. This didn’t feel quite normal. With Keigo being sober enough to process the situation at hand and Dabi with a few empty shot glasses surrounding the area of the bar where he sat. Currently twiddling and twirling one of the glasses in his right hand, examining it with the face only a person who is really drunk could have. His gaze seemed uncharacteristically distant as his shoulders pressed forward into a slump. 

Suddenly Keigo wasn’t entirely sure if tonight was a night he would want to lose himself, surely spending one of these nights facing his demons alone armed with nothing but a book of sudoku couldn’t be that bad. Yet the other never chose to let himself slip away with the burn of alcohol, so in a way Keigo was concerned. 

With the dulled clarity the blond gulped and made his way forward to the other, noting how the bartender decided to keep his distance from the villain. With a deep breath he managed to get close to Dabi, hesitantly placing a hand on the other's shoulder. Dabi didn’t move. Instead he let out a deep sigh with a chuckle laced with a bitter feeling, “Guess the tables finally turned birdy?”

His voice was low so no one else in the loud room could hear him, it made Keigo feel like he was being dragged down into the unforgiving Earth below, “What happened?” It was all he could manage to croak out to the other. He spent so much time away from him; paired with the healing he got to do at a distance, that after the past several encounters Keigo wasn’t sure how to speak to the other anymore.

The sigh the black haired let out danced with smoke as he rubbed his forehead with a groan, “Don’t want to talk about it.” Was all he said in return, but it was obvious he was working through his own mental demons that clawed at the edges of his mind. Keigo could do nothing but nod as he gnawed on his bottom lip. Trying to think of what he should do that would actually help the other.

“Um, how about we get you home.” The other was quick to shake his head, but before he could counter verbally the blond asked, “Can you even stand?” Mirroring one of the questions he would ask him when he was drunk. It caused him to pause and stare at the glass in his hands, glaring at it as if it were the root of all of the problems in his life, from then all the way to now. 

With a huff of annoyance he slammed the glass down and planted his hands on the counter to force himself to stand up. Keigo could see Dabi struggle before the other could even realize it. The blond was quick to get by his side, throwing the others arm around his shoulders to help him remain steady. Quiet curses fell from his lips while regaining his balance, “You got this?” Keigo asked, “I’ll be fine.” He didn’t trust the answer so he held onto him carefully as he made their way to the back door.

With a small glance he could see the look on the bartender’s face, he couldn’t tell if he was relieved or worried. 

Dabi was surprisingly quiet as they made their way to his apartment, he was far more interested looking up to the sky and searching the hard to see clouds, or peering at the wild flowers that grew in the patches of land that went uncared for. At one point he leaned away from Keigo to pick one before flowing back towards him, with tired eyes he examined him before shoving the flower into place on top of his hair. Keigo didn’t question the action Dabi took, he was a bit more worried about having to get him up the stairs of his apartment building. 

The task of actually getting him up to his apartment was a nightmare, and thankfully obtaining his key wasn’t. Opening the door and managing to push him inside, Keigo quickly shut the door and locked it while Dabi moved away from him and flopped onto the couch with a hum. Turning around to him Keigo raised an eyebrow, “You know your bed is probably more comfortable than that couch.” 

“Hm, yeah but you definitely seem to enjoy it.” Dabi groaned out to him. Keigo couldn’t fault him on that because he did. At some point in all of these visits Keigo couldn’t help but notice that he hadn't had a single nightmare on that couch when he slept. Maybe it was the room, or the apartment, or maybe it was because of the fact that he wasn’t surrounded by the walls that would taunt him for his actions. 

Licking his lips quickly Keigo nodded, “Yeah, yeah I do, but I’m sure you would enjoy your own bed, am I right?” Dabi only seemed to roll his eyes as a response at first before blurting out in response, “Or are you just trying to get me to my room because you want to stay the night again?” At the accusation Keigo didn’t really know how to respond, so the other took the chance to fill the air for him, “It’s okay you know, spend the night again or whatever other bullshit you want to do. I’ll be in my own room.”

The blond watched as the other pushed himself up and stumbled over to his bedroom door. Opening it he rested his hand on the door frame, smiling he turned his head to him but kept his eyes lowered, “Feel free to join if you want.” After he spoke Dabi pushed his way inside, quietly shutting the door, leaving Keigo in a stunned state.

Blinking quickly Keigo tried to understand what he was just offered by the other. Shaking his head he let out a deep sigh, I’m not drunk enough for that. He couldn’t help but reason with himself as he dragged a hand down his face. Rubbing at his temples he put one foot in front of the other, making his way over to the balcony. 

The night’s terrors hadn’t been as bad as normal so he didn’t feel the need to drown them out, plus there was some strange soft blanket of security that shadowed this room that Keigo felt semi pleased to be wrapped in. Wrapped in the distant comfort of hiding away from his own escape he wondered what the other could have been going through. Dabi too has been through so much trauma, the list of potential events that knocked him down tonight was endless for him in all honesty.

As curiosity clouded his mind he opened the door to the balcony so he could get some fresh air, only to pause as the sounds of squeaky chirping flooded his ears. Looking around he spotted a small lonely bird in the corner, obviously new to the world but not an infant. It must have been separated from its family if it was out here by itself.

Pity filled Keigo’s soul as he looked down to the bird who seemed to cry out more and more, terrified. Two of his own smaller feathers drifted down to it as he kneeled beside the fallen animal. With his hands cupped the two feathers gently made their way under the small bird to carefully move it up and into Keigo’s hands.

Maybe it’s because old habits die hard, or it was just a bird thing, but Keigo wanted to ensure its safety. 

Keigo wanted to be this small bird's hero.

Chapter Text

Dabi wasn’t sure what he was expecting the following morning when he woke up with a pounding headache after Keigo had dragged him to his apartment from the bar when he nearly drank himself to an early grave. Maybe the giant bird would have crashed out on his couch like always, or instead maybe he would have found the food in the fridge and decided to cook something for once. You know what Dabi was not expecting though? Dabi was not expecting to walk into the living room to see Keigo struggle to make a nest out of the world's thinnest sticks as a young bird watched on.

He wasn’t quite sure what expression he held either, but whenever the bird caught sight of it the winged creature chirped out annoyingly. It made Keigo freeze and slowly turn his head to look Dabi’s way. A moment of silence washed over the two and before the blond could even get a word out Dabi raised a hand while closing his eyes, “I do not want an explanation. Make sure it stays quiet.” And with that, half sure everything he just saw was a figment of his imagination, the villain turned on his heel and walked straight back into his bedroom, making sure to close the door.

As Keigo watched the other leave he let out a soft breath that he held before turning to the bird that watched him with large eyes. A persistent smile forced its way onto his face as he carefully brought up a finger to gently pet its head, “I’ll be able to convince him to let you stay somehow. I promise.”

As he pulled away his finger renewed determination filled him as he faced the organized mess of sticks on the counter. Intertwining his fingers Keigo pushed against them until he heard a satisfying pop. Relaxing his hands he shook his head, a small move to pep him up as he returned to the time consuming project that is laid out in front of him. Carefully taking a twig in between his fingers he continued the construction. 

“I been looking at the stars tonight, and I think oh, how I’ll miss that bright sun. I’ll be a dreamer until the day I die. But they say oh, how the good die young. But we’re all strange, and maybe we don’t wanna change.” 

The next time Dabi woke up he had more energy, less of a headache, and actually felt like he could do something maybe semi progressive for the day. That was until he stepped out into the living room again and met eyes with the small bird. That’s right, he had an extra guest tonight. The other guest it seems, was mixing seeds? 

He could feel his mouth gap as he watched the blond work in a mixed bowl of bird seeds, only to be pulled wider open in silent questioning as he bravely popped one in his mouth. Then he just, continued to work, like he didn’t just eat a bird seed while not noticing Dabi at all. The baby bird on the other hand seemed to watch him like a Hawk, but there was no way that’s its breed. His eyebrows furrowed, eyes flickering from watching the baby bird watch him to watching Keigo attempt to make it a well mixed meal.

Suddenly seeming to sense him Keigo turned his head up, meeting Dabi’s eyes for the first time since he woke up a second time. A pause drifted between them as they stared at each other before an awkward smile crept up to Keigo's face, “Uh, morning?” Staring at him for a second longer Dabi blinked at the man before letting out a deep sigh and taking a step forward. 

The bird squawked at him, it’s tiny feathers fluffing up as it’s wings spread, making him look more like a puffed fuzz ball rather than a baby bird. Yet as it raged on Dabi proceeded forward, taking a seat on the barstool and resting his arms on the cool surface top. Several questions wondered in his head as a staring contest commenced between him and the bird, feeling both incredibly stand-offish and challenged, in his own home no less, he asked, “You named it already didn’t you.” Less of a question and more of a statement.

Keigo seemed taken back by the reaction, but quickly steeled himself up for any resistance he might receive, “Yeah, yeah I did,” turning his gaze down to the bowl in front of him Keigo spoke quickly, as if hoping Dabi won’t catch onto the words he’s speaking, “Name’s Ai.” Suddenly the air was frozen ice and the villain sat completely still, unsure of what to think. Upset that Keigo even brought the name back up? Better because he’s actively reaching for who he used to be? Divided because even though it was years ago, the wound still felt fresh enough to be able to rub salt into it?

Yet even still with all the possibilities the villain looked down at the bird and slowly the tension seemed to melt away, his frown turning into something a bit more neutral. Tapping his foot he finally turned his gaze to the counter. He understood why the other chose the name, so he hoped that the other understood the same reason as well.

Letting out a deep sigh Dabi then popped his tongue, eyes turning to the bowl Keigo held tightly in his hands, “What, what are you even doing?” The question slipped off his tongue easily as his eyes pried at the scene before him. While it might have been full of a lack of true curiosity Keigo’s eyes seemed to light up, “Well you see, I’m making a mix of proper food for a bird of its breed which is-” Dabi held up his hand while the other scratched at the back of his neck, “That’s all I needed to hear about that; didn’t want a full bird report.”

Sure when the other deflated a little Dabi felt a little displeased at the sight, but he had other problems to deal with. Such as the ball of feathers, terror, and spite that sat in a homemade nest on his countertop, and he could swear that thing was glaring at him. Leaning his body over, his head moved around the nest, Dabi’s eyebrows furrowed, “Did you actually make this thing a nest?” The question actually seemed to have caught the others attention, “Uh, yeah? You walked in on me making it earlier.”

Dabi didn’t respond, refusing to explain that he honestly thought it was a fever dream of some kind. Instead he reached over to the nest, only to get his hand sharply smacked away, “What are you doing? That took so long to make!” He cried out as Dabi stared at him in disbelief, blinking to himself before calling out, “Whose apartment do you think this is?” Which was quickly met with, “Well who dragged your sorry ass over here?”

Dabi would have sworn that he turned French with the sounds of challenge that escaped his throat, “Ohoho,” before being followed by, “Who would drag your sorry ass here?” To which Keigo tilted his head, giving him a particular look, “And who invited me in the first place?” Dabi’s hands extended in the direction of the nest next to him, “I invited you, not your kid bird brain!”

Keigo had the audacity to pull his head back and look offended at the nickname given to him, “Well first off we’re kind of a package deal now,” Dabi ran a hand down his face, “Oh my God-” “And! And, I am just technically a larger version of him. I just have more brain capacity.” Dabi only shook his head, “You? More than him? I highly doubt that.” Keigo rolled his eyes before shaking his head, “Oh ha, ha.”

With a sigh Dabi leaned back, taking in a moment of silence after the sudden and frighteningly familiar banter between the two of them that they haven’t shared in a long while. Dabi could see how the other adjusted in his spot physically just like how they had emotionally. Finally sitting back up Dabi let out a deep sigh, “In all seriousness though, I don’t think I can keep the bird here. You’re gonna have to take it to wherever you live. I’m not even here half the time.” 

Dabi should have put his foot down right then, but instead he made the mistake of looking Keigo in the eyes. Something flashed behind them, a familiar determination and sadness that Touya used to see on a daily basis. Something was set in the other and now he’ll stop at nothing to get what he wanted, “But, Dabi, he was separated from his family. He’ll need to learn to fly before searching this area, because he’ll be too far away at my apartment.” He could hear the parts of his sentence where his voice nearly cracked. Dabi had to deflect this quickly.

“Listen, it’s just a bird,” Dabi quickly cut himself off before finishing the sentence as it caused an uneasy tension to form in the room quickly, “And what I mean by that is that taking care of him will be a lot of work, and I’m almost never here.” He managed to bite back the bit about how the League's current situation didn’t help with the unpredictability of his schedule, “You would have to stay here to make that kind of arrangement work.” Silence filled the air between the two, and Dabi nearly kicked himself.

Don’t say it, “I could stay here.” And you said it. Just as Dabi was about to jump in and cut the whole situation off Keigo spoke up quickly, “I could take care of rent and just stay in the living room, I shouldn’t be much of a problem if you aren’t here most of the time, and I can get groceries.” As he started his list of what made this a good idea, Dabi was actually quite impressed with how much work the other would be willing to put in for the small bird that was still staring him down. 

“Yes, but, I don’t know if you know this; the League kind of hates you after everything you caused, and I’m in said League.” he said as a matter of factly, “Jesus, if I’m not here and one of those assholes shows up unannounced? You’re dead.” He watched as the other processed what the other said, and then immediately had his jaw drop at hearing the words, “Well I can take that risk. I don’t exactly have much else to do right now.”

Wow, okay, Dabi was too awake, too sober, and not high enough for this conversation to take place this early in the morning. Turning on the stool he stood with his back to the pair of birds that sat behind him. One with saddened determination in his eyes while the other had spite and rage, he wasn’t quite sure which was worse.

Raising a hand to dismiss the pair he walked back to the door to his room, “We can talk about it later at like lunch or something. It’s way too early for this conversation right now.” He explained before crossing the pathway that was his doorframe, and then closing himself in before letting out a deep sigh.

As he slowly made his way to the bed he fell face first into the sheets, having a strange feeling that what is going to be coming next was not going to be whatever it is he is expecting, at all.

And yet, he had a strangely good feeling from it as well.

“Ain’t it fun, living in the real world? Ain’t it good? Ain’t it good? Being all alone. Ain’t it fun.”

Keigo wasn’t entirely sure what he was doing. People might call it spontaneous. The Commission might call it keeping the enemy on their toes. The heroes would probably call it flat out annoying. What Dabi would call it though? He didn’t know, but he figured that the other might see it as the slightest bit endearing.

Carefully picking Ai up he let the bird nest in his already wild hair while he grabbed the two plates that each had sandwiches and a bag of chips balanced on top. Surprisingly for someone so skinny Dabi had quite a bit of food laying around. Keigo silently hoped as he haphazardly knocked on the door before opening it that the type of sandwich the other used to enjoy is the same. 

As the door opened Keigo could spot Dabi sitting on the ground at the foot of his bed, half of his blankets on the ground that he sat on, face lit up by a screen of a Switch while the all telling theme music of Animal Crossing played softly. Keigo nearly laughed out. Instead he only leaned on the door frame with a raised brow and a smirk, “My God,” he chuckled, “Did Dabi, a high ranked villain in the Paranormal Liberation Army, and a veteran member of the League of Villains, steal a Nintendo Switch to play,” he paused to add dramatic effect, “ Animal Crossing? ”

With their eyes having been met Keigo couldn’t tell if the other was tired at him or at the huge amount of debt that he’s likely accumulated over the course of the game, “Oh shut the hell up bird brain, Isabelle finally came to my island and I’m selling fruit better than anyone in real life ever could.” He shot out, chin lifting to Keigo’s hands, “What’s this?”

“This?” Keigo asked holding up the plate that was for Dabi, “Oh this is called a sandwich, it’s when you put different types of food in between pieces of bread and then eat it.” He explained simply, “Ai wanted to make you something because you look scrawny as all hell.” Walking over he sat down on the edge of the bed, carefully leaning forward to set Dabi’s plate on the ground which gave Ai a good chance to squawk right in his face. The raven haired man in turn gave Keigo a blank expression, “Yeah, I’m sure Ai jumped right onto that, he clearly loves me so much.”

Keigo snorted and sat back up, bringing his own sandwich up to take a bite out of it while Dabi opened his bag of chips. Humming out Keigo questioned, “But that bread thing really is kind of weird. Like, a panini is a type of sandwich but it’s called something entirely different. Or like how Subway has hot dog type buns but they’re still sandwiches. That would mean types of bread would mean nothing and make hot dogs a sandwich, but people would disagree and argue that it’s a hot dog! It’s different! But if Subway is any indicator, bread type doesn’t matter, and if I throw a bunch of hot dogs between two slices of loafed bread they would call it a sandwich, albeit a weird one, but a sandwich nonetheless. That means so many things could be different things that aren’t sandwiches, but people are so closed minded to that idea I just can’t-”

“Why are you eating in here again?” Dabi interrupted the long winded, one sided, argument, giving Keigo an almost desperate look in silent hopes that he would shut up. Keigo merely paused before chuckling, “You told me last night to join you in here if I wanted, and now I want to.” He stated simply, as Dabi was about to open his mouth he only piped up again, “And no, you cannot redact your statement, I shall be staying in here until the food on my plate is done and I catch up on like seven years of talking your ears off.”

Surprisinglyx the joke didn’t cause the normal tense air, instead it only caused the other to roll his eyes and groan before turning his attention back to the game in his hands and off of the two birds that took up space on his bed.

The minutes passed and Keigo ate his food, quietly watching Dabi play. His movements in the game became more jerky and slow, hesitant really. Something was clearly on the others mind, or maybe even a question he desperately wanted to be answered now that Keigo was here. But at first silence reigned supreme in the air, mixed with the gentle music that came from the Switch in Dabi’s hands.

“Why,” the villain started, movements ceased, but he still stared at the small screen, “Why call the bird Ai?” The question fell like a boulder onto the ground after rolling off of a cliff, the ground cracking beneath its weight. It forced Keigo to take in a deep breath, biting his lip as he looked to his own plate. Thinking about why was a bit harder than just doing it. Like he knew why while choosing the name, but only subconsciously.

“Well, when you were,” he paused, trying to think of the right words, “When you were forced out of the program the handlers went through our stuff.” The memory always stung when he thought back to it, “Had me stand at attention as he went through all the things I accumulated from when we snuck out, and then destroyed it all one by one after asking me what each item was.” The temperature in the room swelled slightly at Dabi’s kindling rage.

“Make up was thrown, clothes were torn or burned, and when he got to Ai he just popped the head off and I couldn’t keep him.” Keigo paused, blinking quickly, “I wanted to keep this one, or at least keep him safe.” His words ran out softly.

Dabi didn’t say anything, didn’t move, or anything at first. Then slowly his mouth moved to form words Keigo never thought he would hear, “I’m sorry about that, I wish I was there to pull you out of that sooner.” His words sounded practiced. Like he said them to himself when he was alone. Keigo couldn’t blame him, “It wasn’t your fault, you had your reasons.” He spoke gently.

“I was scared.” Dabi stated, eyes still fixated on the glowing screen, “I was scared of getting caught and having the job finished the moment I stepped foot into that facility.” The room went cold, “I was scared of how you would react to seeing me.” Keigo frowned, seeing how the other bit his tongue, “Then you managed to make it to the top, so, so fast. And I hate to say this but I did think that they had finally gotten to you, because the only way to do what you did was to have followed their every order no matter the time of day. The last time we saw each other you had preached to me how you hated your trainer. It made you seem like two different people.”

Turning his head down slightly Keigo squeezed his eyes shut, a sigh flowed through him before he responded, “I felt like two different people,” he started, “Hawks was the hero, the golden child who did his homework on time with all the extra credit done, and Keigo,” quickly blinking he forced away the tears, “Keigo was nothing more than weakness and deadweight that would get in the middle of missions.”

His hands trembled as he prepared his next confession, “But he never was gone completely. Keigo was always waiting to see if any miracle happened, and would think that he would see Touya walking down the sidewalk one day,” he saw as the other tensed up, “Keigo was always excited and would remind Hawks that their parents were alive and well paid for,” Keigo sniffled, curling in on himself as his teeth were grit together.

“Keigo cried the moment Hawks hurt Twice because he was terrified to think that if the heroes lost and there was no physical evidence that he did all he could that the Commission would manage to call one of the rules, and would make his hospital visit a bit more permanent.” It was a silent, still room, “This means nothing to you, I get that. But I wanted to help him so badly. He deserved the world, but I only took him out of it. I wanted to give him more than what he had.” Before he could continue the other cut him off, voice as much of an empty void as his eyes,

“I know. I read your letter.”

Silence consumed the two, Keigo breathing in a sharp inhale of air in attempts to ease his shaking shoulders, “You read my letter?” After a pause he continued, “Then you know, you know I am an awful person and I regret every moment of having to make that decision and executing it. Or you at least know that’s what I said, I get it.” The tears pushed their way through and pulled their way down his cheeks, “I get it, if you hate me for the rest of my life. I understand and I won’t question it.”

“Shut the hell up Keigo.” In return to the demand Keigo went silent, tearful eyes causing wet cheeks and red eyes while he stared at him. The use of his name managed to soothe a few wounds but most lingered. Dabi at least saw him as the one who wanted to keep Twice alive rather than the one who took his life out of fear.

“I know you better than you know yourself bird brain, never forget that.” While his voice was strained the use of the nickname showed that the other was trying to put the past in the past, trying to understand why the other did what he did, even if he wouldn’t fully forgive him for it, “We’re both fucked up birdie, now stop with the tears. I don’t want to deal with the bird on your head crying out because you couldn’t figure out how to stop moving and squawking.”

Keigo nodded softly, sniffling while dragging his hand across his face. A pained smile painted itself onto his face, the other was softening up. While it was slow progress it was still progress. The Dabi from a few weeks ago would have exploded at the mention of Twice. He would have blamed Keigo and burned his wings up again. Instead he kept up a hard front while taking a moment to listen to some of what he had to say. 

He kept up a hard front, but couldn’t tell that he was letting some of his old self seep through the seams.

Taking in a deep breath after a few minutes passed before letting out a huff and slumping over Keigo watched as the other started to move his character once again, “Speaking of my very verbal partner in crime he wanted to let you know that he hopes that peanut butter and marshmallows is still your favorite kind of sandwich.” Keigo spoke while slowly moving to lay on his stomach, careful to not disturb Ai who still rested on his head. 

Now actively looking over the others shoulder Keigo could see the others face a bit better, including all of his features, such as the tension in his brow ease up after glancing down to the sandwich on his plate to confirm that it was the type that Kegio said it was. He could also see how he bit down on the inside of his mouth before speaking again, “It is, I’m very surprised Ai knew such a dastardly thing about me.”

Keigo chuckled, “Well I certainly helped out in that department by dropping a few hints to him.” Dabi’s brows raised, “Really now,” yet his tone remained low, “Then it is you I blame for exposing my secret,” Keigo smiled, feeling a bit strained against his tired eyes, “Like I said, I merely helped him, but he did all the heavy lifting.” “I don’t doubt it.”

Keigo continued to watch the other, with him zoomed out it gave the viewer a nice look at the nature around them, an idea struck and it caused him to smile, “That cloud looks like a bunny.” Dabi paused, clearly confused because no cloud looked like a bunny, none of the clouds really had an image based shape so how was the other saying one looked like an animal, then he caught onto what the other was doing, “No, no way. That, you criminal, is a duck.”

Keigo gasped, “A duck? My goodness do you need glasses? Look at those ears! A bunny, all the way.” Dabi shook his head, “No, you’re the blind one in this situation. A rabbit is way out of the question, it’s a duck.” Keigo shook his head a bit too hard, accidentally scaring Ai who was quick to squawk and flap his tiny wings with enough vigor that it sent him to the top of Dabi’s head.

It made the raven haired man pause, stilling entirely before his eyes creeped up to try and peer at the bird on his head. Keigo paused to watch as well, snorting as it chirped and quickly made room in his hair to rest on the top of his head, which was likely still warm from his quirk. There was a moment of calm as Dabi told Keigo, “Get this ball of fuzz off of my fucking head before I burn this place to the ground.”

Keigo only snorted and laughed out, dragging himself up to his knees, resting on the back of his calves as he moved to scoop the bird up with his hands. Ai only cried out at him as he tried, puffing up small wings with the world's smallest glare being sent his way. It made Keigo laugh out more, grabbing at his stomach while the other was nearly growling out, “Get it off!”

“I-I can’t! He won’t let me!” Keigo laughed out, face growing red with the need of air becoming apparent. Taking in deep breaths he forced his laughter to die down, moving so his back rested on the bed before letting himself sink until his head touched the floor, and then a little lower than that to give his own wings more room under him. He hadn’t laughed that hard in a long time.

His eyes caught Dabi’s angry glare and it only made him snort out again, “Oh my God your face.” “Get it off.” Keigo raised an eyebrow, “You know it has a name.” He could see how the other was holding in his vivid anger, “I don’t care if it has a name, just get it off of me.” Keigo let a playful smile fall onto his face, “What is his name then?”

“Oh sweet Jesus-” Keigo hummed while interrupting him, “Not quite.” Nearly shaking his head Dabi finally said, “Ai, his name is Ai. Now get him off of me.” Keigo’s smile only widened, “But he’s just resting up there while you play!” Dabi groaned in response, taking in a loud inhale from his nose clearly frustrated with the situation at hand before mumbling out a forced, “Fine.” Before continuing to play Animal Crossing angrily, which Keigo had no idea someone could do. 

Keigo let himself gaze at the other for the rest of the time when his eyes weren’t closed. Slowly the angry features softened into neutral ones and Keigo could see Ai sleep peacefully on his newly beloved perch. A soft and genuine smile was spread across his face as he let his eyes close, relaxing as the cute music let him be wrapped in the blanket of security, now filled with the warmth that he had been looking for.

Chapter Text

With the new living situation Keigo found his outing schedule differ from his previous routine. He was able to find joy in spending time with Ai as well as the small moments of being able to tease Dabi over the little things. Keigo had moved his things to the others apartment with time, careful to not move too much at one time and gain unwanted attention. The empty apartment now had more folded blankets laying on the couch, cheap candles resting on the counters, and a bit more overall personality. Especially since Keigo picked up a habit of bringing in small plants to decorate the place. 

At first Dabi seemed annoyed or frustrated when Keigo brought in another potted masterpiece, but the blond would still catch him pouring water over them when Dabi thought he was asleep on the couch, when in reality he had his eye cracked open as soon as the creeks in the floor sounded out to indicate that he was out of his room. 

Adjusting to the sudden move was interesting to say the least. Dabi avoided him as much as he could at first. Whenever he would come in late while the former hero was still awake the villain would push past him with a scowl on his face, the scowl not being directed at Keigo of course, instead it was pointed at his entire situation. Yet even with the cold demeanor Keigo persisted in trying to get him to open up. Most of the time when he tried to start conversations at first he was met with silence, unless he brought the other something to eat. A voice in Keigo told him it’s because of what he yelled at him all those weeks ago about his own struggles.

Slowly the other opened up, accepting conversations as much as he accepted peanut butter and marshmallow sandwiches, and soon he was offering them. Keigo could never admit to seeing the sight out loud so it wouldn’t prevent it from happening again, but once he saw the other let Ai rest on his head without an angered face plastered on. It had been one of the most heartwarming moments Keigo got to witness since he first got there. Everything was slowly starting to feel less like he was a dead man and more like he finally got the break he always desired.

Yet, even with all the mended feelings that didn’t stop him from feeling broken some nights. All the healing would magically disappear for twenty four hours, making Keigo feel exhausted and in need of something more. With every week of feeling like himself there was a day when he would fall apart. With every few smiles he gave there was a tear to shed. With every few jokes he told there was a mention of the suffering he had been through.

It was painful in every sense of the word, and he only knew of one escape. When Keigo went to his favorite bar now he didn’t search for anyone to spend a part of the night with, at least not typically. Sometimes when the guilt of living with Dabi got too high he would let himself fall back into old habits in order to make some money, at least he didn’t sell himself short. That’s what he told himself.

It was one of those nights. The alcohol had clearly seemed to be resting in his system, shown through hazed eyes that could barely focus on recounting the bills he earned. A lollipop rested in his mouth now to get something sweet to rest on his tongue. Boldly he was sitting on a dumpster, back to the brick wall, giving his head a moment to continue swimming before he had to go back to the others apartment. Dabi said he would be out for League business earlier in the day, but it was pretty likely he had already gotten back. Probably fixing up his island more with the little trinkets he got to buy.

A small smile spread across his face, maybe the two could share a sandwich before retiring for the night. The thought eased Keigo’s mind along with his heart. He’ll admit, he’s incredibly pleased with the fact that they’re rekindling their old friendship, and potentially rekindling something more if the excessive use of nicknames was anything to go by. There was no hiding the fact that his heart fluttered when Dabi went into his room one night mumbling, “G’night pretty bird.” Whether he was teasing or mocking him, Keigo couldn’t fight the spreading warmth in his chest. 

Footsteps rang through the alley, familiar to the sound by this point he shoved the bills in his pocket before turning towards them with a soft smile, albeit tired, “Come to get me already? A bit early wouldn’t you-” When his eyes opened to meet a brilliant blue the words died on his tongue. The bright blue eyes weren’t outlined by thick eyelashes and skingraphs, they were instead surrounded by bright orange blazing fire.

Suddenly he didn’t feel like someone who was once trained to be a machine, instead he felt like the child he once was being caught in the cross fires of his parents screaming at each other, cowering in the corner afraid that his father would turn his attention to him. And then he did. Wings, once a symbol of hope, tightened to his back in fear. Trying to make himself seem smaller, invisible, rather than attack or challenge the oncoming threat as a bird of prey should.

“Hawks,” the deep voice paired with the ever on fire pair of eyes only paralyzed him further. His own face frozen in shock. That was until a much lighter pair of footsteps sounded from behind the large hero, the person who came into view only made Keigo clench at his chest, his face morphing from shock into horror. Aizawa.

This wasn’t his territory to patrol in. It wasn’t either of theirs. Neither of them belonged here yet there the two stood, both paused to stare at Keigo who looked terrified in return. Silence had washed over the three, each seeming to be in deep shock while Keigo was ready to push off the dumpster and fly far, far away. Hopefully into the arms of someone he once knew.

Finally breaking the silence Aizawa shook his head and stepped forward, “Keigo, thank God, we’ve been searching for you since we saw what you left behind,” his heart just about dropped into the void beneath him. Searching? “Searching?” The man nodded, walking toward him still, removing the goggles and placing them to the top of his head, “Yes, searching. I’m so sorry for being sudden with this, but everything has been compiled against the Commission, but to ensure a win we need someone to actively speak out against them.”

The words felt like they were being spoken through water. Searching. They were actively trying to look for him? Footsteps sounded like leaves falling on grass as they followed behind Aizawa. And they found him? “Keigo?” He couldn’t hear Aizawa as his body seized up, curling in on himself as he pressed further into the brick wall. Who else was searching? Who else was going to catch up to him? A hand reached out to him, its goal being to comfort the shaken hero who wasn’t snapping out of whatever he was going through. Instead of seeing a gentle hand coming to hold his shoulder Keigo saw one of the many hands restricting him and pulling him away from the burning body. Keigo flinched.

As if he called upon an unknown force from above there was suddenly a barrier between him and the ever imposing hand. A bright wall of enchanting blue flames encircled the heroes, forcing Aizawa to pull his hand back with a hiss from a near miss hit. The three heroes' heads snapped to look in the direction they came from. Dabi standing from the origin point, hand raised, and face twisted and morphed with anger.

Quick to respond before the others were quick to react Keigo cried out to him, “What the fuck was that Dabi?” His voice slurred by drinks in his system, but he forced himself to remain sharp as he watched the other carefully, “Taking a moment to protect you for once.” Keigo scoffed, trying to brush away his growing anxiety, “I don’t need protecting, I can take care of myself god damnit!” 

Even as he yelled at the other Dabi still kept his eyes on the two heroes, “Really? Because you seem drunk, and you were curled into a ball while looking terrified at two heroes, one of which was reaching to you, while crying.” His voice was fast to try to push its way up in question at what the other meant by crying. Instead he reached up, touching his cheek before gasping and quickly wiping the tears away.

The two heroes stood by defensively, not needing to scare the two away or start a fight. Both were trying to take in the situation that they found themselves in, while thinking up ways to just give the other two the offer. Aizawa watched as Keigo carefully stumbled off of the dumpster, Dabi being right that he was drunk. 

Keigo’s thoughts were both rushing a million miles an hour while remaining completely still. He didn’t know what to think at the moment. All he knew was that he didn’t want anyone else in his life to die or get hurt. So walking slowly to Dabi would be step one, but what was step two? How could he get everyone out of this?

“Just hear me out,” the familiar voice of Aizawa made him pause, his covered back to him while tears jumped into his eyes. He missed seeing him, he missed joining him for small get togethers. He missed his life right before the fall, “Everything has been put together to go after the Commission along with a renewed branch to take its place, something much more regulated, something much more competent and expected of the system it represents,” The tired heroes eyes met Dabi’s glare, “It has the potential to lead to more reform, which includes giving villains proper care instead of ignoring them after throwing them in a cell.”

The air was as thick as rubber, unable to be cut through without much difficulty, especially as the villains glare hardened, “And what do you need us for then, hero. ” Endeavor finally dragged the attention of the villain away from his fellow hero, speaking up in a low tone, “To ensure a win without someone to actively speak out about their direct experiences with the Commission, would be near impossible.” Blue eyes met blue eyes, one enraged that the other spoke, while the other was filled with regret.

“There is unfortunately only so much that I can do by explaining what they told me when sending you into the program, without a direct response to counter what I had been told at the time.” Silence would have fallen over the four if Dabi wasn’t letting his anger seep through his breathing, pushing out labored sounding breaths, “During the time against them arrangements can be made for you two to stay at a top agency of your choosing to ensure your safety.”

The man's words fell short as Dabi’s hand lit up in blue, ready to attack as he yelled, “You think we’ll fall for that bullshit!” But before the fire left his palm, Keigo’s hand found a way to gently rest on his chest, causing him to blink and look down to the smiling face that quietly pleaded for him to calm down. The light scar over his eye, along with the large handprint of his neck being highlighted by the blue light around them, a sad reminder of who caused them.

The blue fire went dim on his hand, Keigo turning his head to the two, “That would still be far too dangerous. What if we come in to record our confessions?” The heroes, who were mere seconds away from engaging in a fight, slowly stood back up. The first fire wall still danced around them as they stood tensely, Aizawa speaking up, “That would definitely be better than nothing.” Breath was being held as they waited to see the reactions of the other. Everyone on a standstill. 

Slowly moving his hands Keigo grabbed Dabi’s arm to gently lower it to his side, before turning around to the heroes, shrugging off his jacket, “Endeavor,” the number one perked up at the call of his hero name, “Cover Aizawa for me.” He said before stretching out his wings and lifting himself off of the ground while the raven haired man took cover. After a few flaps to stretch his wings Keigo sent a strong gust of wind, and then another to fan out the flames that the villain caused, before finally letting himself float back down to the ground next to Dabi.

Looking between the other three Keigo let out a deep sigh, reaching down to his jacket and pulling it over his shoulders, feeling tired, dizzy, nauseous, and all the other awful descriptors that he could think of, “I have your number memorized Aizawa, I’ll call you if we decide to see you about recording our confessions to set up a time.” Gently taking Dabi’s upper arm he pulled him to go down into the alley, “I hope I see you soon, Aizawa.” Was all he said before walking off to avoid any more attacks from either side. Dabi watching the heroes as they shrunk with distance, disdain and anger apparent in his eyes. 

The further away they got from the perceived threat Dabi slowly relaxed, before finally letting himself turn around and walk in the direction Keigo was leading him, silence eating away at the two as the offer swirled in their heads. It would bring justice to them both, while getting Dabi to his goal of fixing the society that harmed so many people. It was clear that each of them couldn’t take their mind off of it, with good reason. It could equate to true social freedom.

Reaching the end of an alley, Keigo let out a deep sigh, finally letting Dabi’s arm go, turning to rest his back against the wall. The other stood where he was left, staring at the ground in thought. Keigo meanwhile let his head tilt back to breathe in, in an attempt to cool his spinning head. His words flowed out before he could think to stop them, “It’s a tempting offer.” But Dabi was quick to cut him down, “It’s suicide.”

Biting on his bottom lip Keigo scratched at the back of his left hand, leg bouncing, “It could be, but we could always run away before anyone gets to us. It,” breath caught in his throat Keigo squeezed his eyes shut, “It could ensure that no one is sent after us. If we’re ever discovered we would be left alone-” Dabi cut him off, “I’d be sent to a mental institution for the rest of my life just like my mother.”

Opening his mouth to speak Keigo silenced himself, letting out a deep sigh before opening his eyes up. Looking to the stars laid before his sight, sparklings and twinkling millions of miles away. The pattern laced into the sky reminded him of a time when he would stick his head out of an unstable window, in a constantly trashed apartment after his parents have fallen asleep. Hoping and dreaming to reach the stars some day. To fly so high that he couldn’t be followed. 

“You know, you always used to say that I needed to be more of a dreamer,” The raven haired man turned to him, watching at how the golden eyes had the twinkling lights of stars in them, “And after all this time, I think I know what I want.” Licking chapped lips, his eyes searched for a shooting star to wish on, knowing his chances are one in a million.

“While it may come off as cliche or an escapist fantasy, but living in a small house in a large forest sounds so,” he paused, a smile gracing his face, “So nice. A large open area to fly, maybe a lake nearby to swim, able to live with all the little trinkets I would finally get to collect.” Letting out a soft giggle, an almost relieved sounding sigh let him, “Maybe if Ai can’t find his family he could be in mine.”

“After some time and everything settles down I could have Aizawa, Yamada, and Eri visit. She would shake her little fists at me for making people worry and cry,” tears lined his eyes as he sucked in is lips, “But she would jump into my arms for a big hug, I would take her on her first flight and later in the night Yamada would tease me for my cooking skills while saying they got better if I hadn’t burned down the house by that point.” Keigo chuckled to himself, at the joy the small fantasy brought.

His lip was being bit into, closing his eyes to try and see the future he desired better. Meanwhile the villain gulped, looking at the others face before his eyes turned back down to the ground, “Sounds nice; like you’ve put a lot of thought into it. I don’t think I could ever find it in myself to think up of some goal so hopeful, but at least you have your dream.” Silence washed over the two, thoughts being processed and wheels turned.

“Would you like to share mine then?”

Dabis head turned to meet the golden gaze, genuine in its nature, soft in its giving. Maybe he seemed lost because Keigo offered him a reassuring smile while reaching out his hand for the other to take, to come closer. The other did, taking calloused hands into his scarred pair, a gentle tug pulling him forward. With relaxed eyes pouring into his own Dabi let the idea of the fantasy wash over him, the potential of making it a reality.

Bags pulled at his eyes when he brought a hand up to the others cheek, thumb rubbing against the edge of the scar he gave him months ago now, “Even,” for once the low and rough voice of the villain was soft, “Even though I put you through so much pain?” Keigo’s free hand reached up to hold onto the hand that rested on his face as he leaned into the touch, “Would you be willing to join me even though I hurt you so badly?”

Dabi took in the question, it’s implications. Forgiveness was being asked while the other offered him the only thing he could dream up as a future for himself. His thumb stilled while his other hand held Keigos just a little bit tighter.

“I would love to.”

The tears finally fell from Keigo’s eyes as a large smile was stretched across his face. Something akin to being overjoyed shimmered behind his eyes, pushing the side of his face into the hand that held him, “Then I would love for you to join.” Dabi let his forehead lean forward, resting on Keigo’s, peace completely engulfing them as they relaxed into the other's touch.

Slowly Keigo pushed himself forward, giving the other the chance to pull away before their lips connected in a soft kiss. Time seemed to draw out, the simple kiss slow and long lasting before Dabi finally pulled back, tongue quick to dart out and run against the area the other pressed into, the experience one he hasn’t had in years.

The taste of alcohol made itself known on the tip of his tongue and he cursed himself for taking the others affection, but he seemed happy.  A content smile still rested on the blonds face, he seemed relaxed amongst his drunken state, as if he was enjoying a dream. His hand that once rested on Dabi’s own found its way to the back of his head, gently pushing their foreheads together again. Holding that position for a moment before the blond tried to tilt his head up again, yet Dabi stopped him, not wanting to take advantage of the situation. He stopped him by speaking up, “What if I made your dream a reality, little dove?”

His movements paused, golden eyes met his own once again, wide in shock as he took in the question, “What?” His voice was impossibly small, almost unbelieving, “What if I told you, little dove, that I know where a small abandoned home is resting in the forest next to the old Todoroki summer home.” Gold iris’ still watched him in disbelief as he continued, “No one knew it was there until me and Nastuo explored the forest. It's pretty deep, on the other side of a large lake that no one ever visits. I’m sure the home is still in my father's name, but no one ever visited it since mom left.”

Keigo seemed to take in what the other was saying slowly, brain having trouble processing all of the sudden information, “How, how do you know?” The blond asked out, “It’s where I would stay if I needed to keep an extra low profile.” The cogs in Keigo’s mind were whirling around erratically as slow realization dawned on him, “And, and we can go there? Keep a low profile and, and,” his words seemed to be caught in his throat, slurred with growing excitement, so Dabi finished his sentence, “And live? Yeah.”

Tears suddenly gushed from Keigo’s eyes as his smile grew into the largest one he could give, “Oh my God,” he cried out, repeating the phrase with an excited squeal, the alcohol coursing through him obviously aided in pushing him to be as excited as he was, but it still made Dabi smile gently at the adorable reaction.

Keigo then quickly wrapped his arms around the other, pulling him into a tight hug, his face buried into his shirt as his wings wiggled excitedly from under the jacket. He was enthusiastically bouncing in the others arms for a while, reliving all of the potential scenarios of getting to live there. Finally when he pulled back his cheeks were red and covered with tears, but the smile that was present on his face let it be known that those tears were far from sadness.

But his expression seemed to dim slightly, yet hope could still be seen in his face. Eyes blinking quickly before taking in a breath, “If, if no one else knows it’s there,” he trailed off, eyes flowing down before snapping up to meet the others gaze again, “Then, then we can record our confessions, our experiences, everything,” Keigo gulped, taking in a deep breath as the hope fueled him through his veins, “We can expose them for who they really are, and then we can hide there until it all blows over, until they’re all arrested, until we could actually be safe.”

He spoke quickly, making a surprising amount of sense, “We could, we could live that dream and then be free.” Keigo desperately expressed to him, “And no one would be the wiser to where we are or what our location is.” His body trembled, feeling as though the mass amount of clouds had finally parted to reveal the life he was once promised. That they were once promised.

Yet Dabi, the realist he was, took in a breath, coming to the decision to not ruin this for the other. To let him bathe in the faith he was able to now hold within himself. So instead of clenching his teeth worriedly and bringing his brows together in questioning, he pulled Keigo close to him again, the side of the blonds face pressed flush against his chest as the villain rumbled out, “Yeah, maybe so pretty bird.” The rare chirp that escaped him let Dabi know he hadn’t caught on to how the villain feared for their situation, but it also eased him. Made him feel like maybe, just maybe there was hope for them. That this half baked plan could become their reality. Just maybe.

Keigo hummed in delight, chin tilted upwards and eyes once again gazed into the sky above, fingers tightening around the fabric of the others jacket and holding him close. Taking in another deep breath his eyes searched the sky before pausing. A hand raised, finger pointing, as words poured out, easing Dabi almost instantly, “That cloud looks like a bunny.”

The others gaze followed to where the finger pointed while Keigo's hand came down to drape his arm over the others shoulder. As sapphire orbs looked into the dark sky he saw the cloud that the other was able to see with the help of the well lit moon. Dabi found comfort in their new game, relaxing into the others touch just as much as the other relaxed into his, and for once he wasn’t able to argue.

“Yeah, yeah it does.”

Chapter Text

The incident with Aizawa and Endeavor never left Keigo’s or Dabi’s mind. Even as days passed while the two of them were in hiding, neither of them spoke of it. Both of them knew it was ever present on their minds. It wasn’t exactly something that they could let go. It was an extended hand to those who were down on their luck. It was the potential of a safe haven for them both. It was a chance of escape without dragging anyone else down with them. It was hope. Something that they had both, up to this point, had seen a severe lacking in.

It was dark outside as Keigo sat on the barstool, cheap shorts and a large shirt with two cut holes in the back rested on his very being as he watched Ai peck away at the food Keigo set out for him. His head resting in the palm of his hand the blond watched the little bird, feeling strangely hollowed. Maybe he felt trapped. Maybe he felt trapped in his own body. Maybe he felt trapped now that he was sober enough to recognize the fact that while he would love to run away to a small house in the middle of the forest but the risk of being caught was too large, not only that but Dabi still remained in the League. Maybe. He couldn’t tell.

Hearing the door unlock he let his eyes flick up as the villain made his way into the apartment. It was a bit early in the night for him to be back already, yet here he was, frown ever present on his face. Something was off about the raven haired male though, it was in his expression. More tense than neutral. More furious than agitated. His eyes seemed to glow a bit brighter than normal for reasons Keigo didn’t know. The sight tugged at his heart while twisting his gut into several knots. A need to comfort Dabi arose, but whether he acted on it or not was to be seen.

With a strain in the back of his throat Keigo spoke out to the villain as he relocked his door, “Anything serious pop up tonight that I should know about?” He tried to keep his voice steady, something akin to playful, but it wasn’t really there, at least not genuinely. His avian eyes caught how the other tensed at the question. Something did happen it seems, taking note of that Keigo frowned. It obviously had to deal with the former hero.

Dabi turned around, avoiding the gaze of the blond, something pestered his mind far too much to let whatever it is go. His eyes stared hard into the ground, more of a glare than anything. It was wrong. It was all wrong. Or maybe it wasn’t. Maybe Keigo was just selfish in his desires. He wished to see Touya just one last time. Smiling, going along with his shitty jokes, pushing others to feel joy. Keigo dearly missed seeing that side of him, but he can only come to the conclusion that the person he once was is gone.

Or maybe he wasn’t. Keigo thought he himself was dead at one point too. Thought that all there was left was the empty shell of a man that was Hawks. He thought that he would never get the chance to be his old self, or even have the chance of rekindling what he once had. Keigo just needed a push. Maybe Touya did too. Looking up to his back while he retreated to his room Keigo echoed the words he was once asked.

“Want to turn this boring night into a fun one?” Footsteps froze in their spot as the words rang in the air between them. Dabi would have stormed off. Would have ignored the two birds that sat in his kitchen. Would have ignored it as he felt like he was being forced to choose between the League or living out his recently acquired dream. A dream of just being able to live as himself. But it was just that, a dream.

“I’m sorry?” Was the response to the words that got the pair to go out on what was essentially their first date. Blazing blue eyes looked over to where the other sat, looking at Dabi with those wide eyes he would occasionally wear. League or the dream. It made it hard to choose when part of the dream sat right in front of him, quoting things he said to the little bird said years ago. 

Keigo’s eyes shot down to the floor before lifting up to look Dabi in the eye, a sudden confidence washed over him as he squawked out in exclamation, “Let’s go out tonight.” He held himself up, almost as if it was something prideful to exclaim, “Let’s go out. Just for tonight. I haven’t gotten the chance to do anything like we did back then, and I can only imagine you haven’t either.” With clenched teeth, brows pulling in together, and a tight lipped smile, he continued, much more softly, “The League can have you for the rest of your life. Can I at least take tonight?”

The two stared at each other, eyebags prominent on each set of eyes, both filled with a sense of desperation while at the same time being hollowed. He knew what Dabi wanted to say, he knew what the other wanted to do, it was a matter of if the other would take out the metaphorically extended hand. If he’ll push out the talons, just to gently rub over them again. If he’ll offer him a genuine smile one last time before jumping off the deep end. If they got to be Keigo and Touya one last time before going their separate ways.

The tense silence was only broken by the villain muttering a few words, “Sure. You can have tonight.” Keigo both melted away, knowing that the other was willing to give him the time of day, while also tensing more. He had to make this night worth it then, he had to ensure that they had genuine smiles to wear rather than ones stretched uncomfortably over their faces. Tonight had to mean something, and luckily he was given the chance. 

Keigo, while looking concerned over if or if not he would be able to achieve tonight's goal, smiled, “Then let’s make it a good one. Grab something to wear that helps you not stick out like a sore thumb.” Giving Keigo a stiff nod Dabi continued off into his room, while the blond took a moment to breathe. Then with one sharp inhale he turned on his heel and went to shuffle through his bag next to the couch, quickly changing into some loose jeans. 

He tried to not think about who the material reminded him of.

He was fine.

Just not back from one of the islands yet.

With a sigh his wings detached so he could switch from the large shirt to the slightly cropped yellow tee. With a majority of his wings off of himself he let them settle into the extra, empty bag so he could throw over the white jacket that was three times his size. With a huff he reached down to pick up a mirror and foundation, just in time for a whistle to be sounded behind him, “Getting all dolled up? For little ole me?”

With a roll of his eyes Keigo smiled, “Try again smartass, I don’t want to be recognized.” A laugh sounded out as Dabi leaned on the door frame, “You don’t want to be recognized? I have more scars than you have fans, pretty bird, and I have to wear all this while being outside in spring.” Turning his head to look at him Keigo hummed, “Eh, you look fine.” But while the oversized bird was chuckling Dabi seemed confused so to speak, just sort of staring at Keigo’s face.

“You know,” Keigo spoke smugly, fixing the foundation, “You know what they said about pictures.” Earning a tsk Keigo’s smirk only grew, “Yeah, yeah, whatever. It’s just weird to see you without your all natural eyeliner.” Keigo nodded, finishing up before standing up to his full height once again, “Yeah, that’s the point.” Finally he slung the bag over his shoulder after double checking to make sure he had everything they might need, causing Dabi to let out a groan, “You finally ready?” 

Instead of answering Keigo rolled his eyes, petting Ai’s head gently before moving towards the door to open it for the other, “I’m such a gentleman, I know.” Which only earned him a shove in return, albeit, it was just as playful and lacked anything akin to malice. Either way with the door locked behind them the two made their way down to several flights of shady stairs to end up out behind the building.

Without even looking up Keigo hummed out, a slight skip to his step to catch up with the other, “That cloud looks like a bunny.” It made Dabi look up, confused before quickly catching on, “Nah, that’s a duck, through and through.” He stated, which only made Keigo’s eyebrow raise curiously, “A duck? Sir, you have officially lost your mind, here I can prove it to you that it is in fact a bunny.” His voice was full of a deviously playful tone, matched with a smirk that could only head so much warning.

“Hah, yeah. I’m sure you could. Do so then.” It was as if Dabi was aware of the trap the other had laid out and stepped right into it, seemed to at least. So with a smirk the blond let a few feathers free from the bag, lifting them both up by the loose collar of their jackets straight into the air. He couldn’t help but laugh out as the other yelled out at the action, even throwing in a few groans from the sudden motion. While the other was clearly disdainful of their situation Keigo couldn’t help but take in a deep breath of the fresh air.

The higher they climbed the more Keigo was able to tell that the clouds were thick enough for him to truly fly without anyone noticing. So he let his feathers free once up in the clouds, attaching them to his back as he moved his jacket to be tightly secured around his waist. As his wings grew to their full glory a smile quickly formed on his face. Freedom. This is what freedom had felt like. The freedom to have wind push through his hair, the freedom to giggle out in excitement. He felt like he was six again, flying over the park that was never monitored, so he never got caught. It was exhilarating. With a sound of delight he moved himself to grab onto the other, who in turn tightly grasped at his shirt with a death grip.

“Christ give a guy a warning next time,” “I will, I will, if,” he pointed over to a random blob of a cloud, “You admit that that cloud looks like a bunny.” A curt laugh made its way out of Dabi, “In your dreams birdie.” The response only made Keigo’s smile grow, “Okay, okay. Have it your way.” His voice was light in tone, and for once he felt breathless, the former hero hadn’t flown like this in months. The light dew on his face was refreshing and enjoyable. He honestly couldn’t picture a better way to spend their night.

Yet even as they grew close to their destination his excitement only sprouted more. Quickly working the majority of his wings back into the bag as a few feathers held them both up by their clothes, he twisted himself to ensure that the feathers that were persistent in staying on his back were hidden under the windbreaker he put back on. Finally in a secluded area of a parking lot he landed on his feet while carefully setting Dabi down next to him.

Dabi was bent over, hands on his knees as he took in deep breaths, “Dabi, you are such an overgrown baby.” The other groaned in response, “And you’re a stupid, overgrown pidgeon.” The insult only made Keigo chuckle. With a deep breath the other stood to his full height, looking over to the building they’re at, “The mall?” Keigo nodded, “Yes, that is in fact what it is. I’m so happy that you’re able to identify people, places, things. Great work with your nouns.”

“Holy fuck, shut up bird brain. I mean as in, why the mall?” Keigo shrugged, starting to walk towards the direction of the building, “Why not? We both know that not either of us have the best wardrobe right now, so why not spruce it up a bit?” Dabi let out a baffled noise as he quickly caught up with the other, “It would be so easy for anyone to spot us, you know that right?” Keigo confidently nodded in response, “And that security cameras are a thing?” “I’m feeling really lucky with my feathers tonight.” He shot back snarkily, only making the other roll his eyes.

As Keigo opened the door for the other he smirked, “Ladies first.” A sharp laugh was earned as Dabi stepped through into the cold air with an annoyed grumble, “Says the bottom.” Keigo paused, sort of just staring straight ahead before shaking his head, turning on his heel to follow the other, “And how would you know?” His arms crossed over his chest defensively. Dabi meanwhile turned his head to give him a deadpan expression with just his eyes, considering half of his face was covered, “I was literally the first person to take you to bed, and likely the only person.”

Keigo tsked and looked away, a pink forming on his face, “My god I was-that was, tch, shut the fuck up.” Dabi seemed increasingly pleased and incredibly smug as he leaned down next to Keigo’s ear, whispering in a low tone, “Go on and pick out whatever you want. My treat, pretty bird. ” The taller man was immediately shoved away from Keigo, “My God, this is why we can’t have nice things.”

With that he stepped away, albeit a bit flustered, “How about you, and being all stuck in your Hot Topic emo phase, can go take a seat by the shoes and I can go find some clothes or something so at least I can be the half of us that doesn’t look homeless.” Dabi raised a hand and placed it over his chest, “My God, my heart- my little dove said that I look homeless. Looks like I’ll have to take a seat anyway, I don’t think I can take such awful heat from you.” He dramatically fell back on a short bench by the shoes, causing Keigo to chuckle while walking off.

When he finally turned his head to look where he was going, a smile on his face.

“My little dove.”

Keigo’s cheeks went bright red.

“Baby you’re like lightning in a bottle, I can’t let you go now that I got it. Now I need to be struck by your electric lightning.”

Keigo looked himself over in the mirror, twisting and turning to look at himself. Quite honestly he was preening, and not in the bird way for once. Fidgeting with his outfit to make sure it sat right, rocking back on the shoes to make sure that they do sit right, adjusting the belt to make it looks nice.

He had slinked past Dabi, hiding the chosen outfit carefully, hissing out how he could see it later, and while doing so grabbing a pair of boots in his size. He was surprised by the selection they had, considering so few people had wing based quirks, but here he was. A form fitting, high neck, long sleeve, petite pink velvet crop top, high waisted black skinny jeans, paired with a tight black belt, short black boots, earrings that dangled strawberries, and a pair of rose tinted sunglasses.

If he was being quite honest with himself he thought he looked like a top tier bad bitch, but he wanted everything to look perfect for no particular reason, or person, actually no just himself. Yeah, yeah this was for himself. Just himself. This is not a split decision, this is just for him. That’s it. 

Fuck, he can’t even lie to himself. 

With a groan he rolled his eyes to no one in particular before waltzing out of the dressing room, looking around to ensure that there were as few people now as there had been, then walking in Dabi’s direction knowing that the coast was clear. With a smirk playing on his lips Keigo tapped his shoulder twice, “I think I look pretty good in this one.” With the world's smallest jump at the sudden tap Dabi turned around and just about basked in the sight of the other.

He let out a low whistle as he scanned over the other, clearly having his interest piqued, “Well isn’t this special. I didn’t realize that you were getting so dressed up for little ole me.” Keigo hummed confidently in retaliation, “Nope, I didn’t.” With a raised brow Dabi let out a curious hum, “Really now? Then tell me little birdie, who did you dress up for?” Letting his golden eyes meet blue he paused, for dramatic effect really, before answering, “Myself? Who else would it have been for?”

The other hummed, standing up to take a step closer to the shorter man, “Don’t know, what I do know is that you got as red as your wings earlier.” Biting the inside of his cheek, Keigo forced down the on coming blush, “I did? When did that happen?” His eyes followed the raising hand as it came up to gently run a finger across his jawline, placing his curled index just beneath his chin to tilt his head up slightly to get those golden eyes back on him, “Right after I called you my little dove.”

The smirk Dabi held was shit eating as Keigo’s own wobbled with inexperience, “Tell me little dove,” his hand moved from under his chin to past his ear, grazing over the small feathers behind them that Keigo would hide, gently running his hand across the top of his visible small wings behind his back. Goosebumps formed across Keigo’s arm, as a phantom touch ran up his spine, “Is it because it’s your favorite nickname?” For once his heart was beating quickly, loud in his ears as the other leaned down close to his face to whisper, “Or do you like the idea of being mine?” 

“I should go get my other clothes,” it was blurted out quickly, and full of rushed awkwardness while he stepped back. His face was flushed red, a visible, nervous mess as he halfway squawked out, “Gotta blast.” Before turning tail and running back in the direction of the dressing rooms. Once finally in the safe area of the small enclosed room he let out a sigh, picking up the white windbreaker to put back on and slinging the bag, now full of feathers and his clothes, over his shoulder.

He made eye contact with himself in the mirror and nearly cried out in embarrassment, his red face matched the color of his wings, even with the cheap foundation, and he doesn’t think that the color will go away anytime soon. Stupid Dabi. Stupid dumb Dabi who probably slept with more people than Keigo’s had true interest in. Stupid dumb Dabi who actually knows how to flirt, rather than look like being interested. Stupid and dumb Dabi.

God he was in deep for stupid Dabi.

With a sigh he left the room to meet back up with the other, who seemed pretty bored until a smirk grew at the sight of the other, “Hello there little dove.” Keigo only rolled his eyes, trying to mask how the nickname actually made him felt, “Oh hush up you oversized burnt chicken nugget. We have a park to mosey around aimlessly.” With a snort, Dabi turned in the direction of the door, “Couldn’t have said it better myself you giant piece of fried chicken.” That being said he stuck his arm out to the other.

With a hum Keigo let his arm wrap itself with the others, through the long sleeve and the jackets he could feel the slight warmth come through. A soft smile etched its way onto his face, right alongside the small uptick in Dabi’s mouth as they walked out of the mall. Some price tags and detectors having been left in the trash bin of the dressing room. 

The park wasn’t too far away, luckily for Dabi in walking distance so they wouldn’t have to fly. On the way there though the two didn’t speak, instead they enjoyed the shared silence between them. It was calming, relaxing even. At one point Keigo let the side of his head reach Dabi’s shoulder, pressing the side of his forehead into the fabric as he closed his eyes for a few steps. Opening them to ensure that there was nothing in his path before letting his eyes close again. 

But eventually the silence was cut off, but it was by Dabi, “Wait,” the sudden word made Keigo stop in his tracks, raising his head and opening his eyes to look at the other who shoved a hand down his pocket. Fortunately for the mood Keigo was too calmed down to make a, “happy to see me?” kind of joke. Dabi turned his body to face him as his fist came out of the pocket, opening to reveal a small, familiar tube of lipgloss, “I noticed that you forgot a very important piece to this ensemble.”

With parted lips, Keigo wasn’t entirely sure what to say. His eyebrows just about rose to his hairline to express how shocked he was at seeing what the other had, his eyes followed the movements of his hands as Dabi opened the tube up and pulled out the applicator that was covered. Looking up to meet the other’s eyes, they then moved down to focus on the lower half of his face so that as the applicator came up, the gloss could be carefully spread over his lips while his left hand gently held Keigo’s chin with a single finger.

Once finished in silence Dabi twisted the cap back on, the blond far too stunned throughout the entire experience to do anything, including a few moments after, “There, I think that should do it. Now let’s see.” Dabi lifted his gaze to look at the flustered man in front of him, still clearly reeling from such an affectionate touch. Only to then be met with the same gentle hold under his chin for a third time that night.

At first their eyes were locked until Dabi’s flickered down for a brief moment, and then repeated the action. Keigo found himself staring at the blue eyes that scanned over him, before his too glanced down at the other’s lips. After a few moments of silence and taking the other in. He felt Dabi’s hand gently glide from its spot beneath his chin to behind his neck, thumb playing with the small feathers which sent shivers up Keigo’s back. Carefully and incredibly slowly Dabi pullied the other towards him, as if silently asking for permission.

Keigo let himself be pulled, now unable to look in the others eyes while biting at the inside of his cheek. His own hands came up, slowly placing one on Dabi’s shoulder, and the other on his cheek. They were slow to move close, only pausing until their faces were inches apart, only pausing as they breathed in the others air. Then with a gentle nudge to the back of Keigo’s neck he let himself fall forward to press their lips together.

He couldn’t be able to tell you what he tasted like, or how it felt, Keigo’s head was far too gone reeling in the fact that the two of them were actually kissing. For the first time in years their lips pressed together in something soft, something sweet, something that caused electricity to run through his body while he felt high on air, with his body feeling as light as one of his feathers.

They held each other, Keigo let his fingers brush gently against the other's scarred jaw, while Dabi adjusted his hand on the back of his neck, his left hand reaching over to be placed on Keigo’s hip. A buzz flowed through them both as they enjoyed the other, stealing each of their breath until it was time to pull away.

When they did Keigo felt light headed and breathless, still unable to look Dabi in the eyes he opted to keep them lowered as he mumbled something to the other, only for Dabi to not hear it and tilt his head, asking out gently, “What was that?”

With a deep breath, Keigo slowly tilted his head up to the other, his eyes following. His lips were pressed into a deeper shade of pink from the kiss, and he seemed to be flying on cloud nine as he timidly spoke out to the villain that he could now only see as someone who he cared more about than he was willing to admit.

“I,” He gulped.

“I do like it when you call me your little dove.”

Chapter Text

The weeks after their night out together had changed in routine, at some point Keigo managed to push his way next to Dabi when they slept, sometimes waking up to find each other entangled in their limbs pushed up close as if even when asleep they were afraid to lose the other. Keigo would watch as Dabi played Animal Crossing, teasing him about how cute his island is while getting into playful arguments over who is better, Timmy or Tommy. In the end of those fights though they both admit that they are equally adorable kids. Dabi was finally openly letting Ai rest on his head, whether to perch, preen, or sleep. During that Keigo lets himself be bossed around, fetching whatever the other needed so Ai could rest peacefully.

It was nice.

It was nice.

Everytime Dabi came back from a meeting he would come back tense, refuse to look Keigo in the eye, but most importantly he was keeping something from him. At least those first few weeks. Finally Keigo had questioned him over his sour mood, but the other didn’t answer, instead he let his head sink further down as if he was ashamed of the truth. It wasn’t until a week later, Dabi came in smelling like cheap beer and cigarettes, stress was etched into his features as he stumbled back into their apartment. Nervously scratching at his scalp and fingers, passing Keigo without so much as a second look.

He followed Dabi into the bedroom that night, crossing his arms as he leaned on the doorframe staring him down with concern highlighting his iris’. Dabi had released the bottom lip he was gnawing on, opening his eyes to stare up at the ceiling. Keigo hadn’t even asked him anything, but he spoke. Exhaustion weaved into his tone, along with hints of desperation, “The League wants to skip towns,” is how he started his sentence, only to clench his teeth more, as if biting back the truth. Keigo stood there in silence as he watched the other, eyebrows ticked upwards expecting worse, and then worse came, “They figured out that you’re still out here.”

Keigo froze.

“I don’t fucking know how but they did.” Dabi’s words were slurred together, features twisted with worry, “They heard whispers in the streets or some shit, and Toga she,” Dabi bit the tip of his tongue while Keigo’s heart jumped through his chest and onto the ground, pumping sputtered blood while Keigo was left to die in a sea of his own emotions, “Little maniac said that one of us should get you to be a nomu.” Fear poured through him as Keigo’s face crumbled, feeling like he had lost complete control of the situation. Dabi turned his head, and for a moment the blond could swear he could see tears, “And Shigaraki is considering it.”

That was a few days ago, ever since the air around them has been stiffened with conflict. Tonight though, Keigo was pushing for something. Something important. Before Dabi got back to the apartment, bag of fast food in hand, Keigo had set up the bedroom. Taking all the blankets and pillows in the apartment then putting them on the bed, positioning them until each felt just right to lay down and rest in. Essentially he made a nest, being caught fidgeting with one of the blankets while he rested back on his calves, straightening up to look at the other. 

Dabi paused before ducking away towards his closet to change, Ai squawked out behind him, flying into the room as best as the small bird could. Landing on the comforter right next to Keigo, who in turn petted the bird's head. While he waited for Dabi his feathers soared through the air to pick up the bag of food, keeping Ai back while he set out a very familiar looking bucket. Hearing footsteps return to the room he looked up at the other who now wore sweats and held a small controller in hand. 

Silently he walked over to take a seat next to Keigo, the bird between them chirped, fluttering up to lay in Dabi’s hair. The sight caused Keigo to chuckle out lightly, “That will never get old you know.” The raven haired man only rolled his eyes, “Yeah, yeah, I figured you would find this funny.” The accusation only made the blond smile, “Because it always is.” Dabi in turn grunted in agreement, setting up the switch in front of them silently. Something was clearly on his mind, but he didn’t speak out. At least, not at first.

“What’s with the nest?” The question made Keigo pause before flashing a quick smile, partnered with a chuckle, “What, I can’t make a nest for us for fun?” Dabi let his eyes move from the bright screen to the smiling face, “You would only make them when you felt unsafe or had something on your mind, what’s up?” Keigo’s face fell knowing that he had been caught, a dimmed yet genuine smile took the fake grin’s place, “You always remember all the little things about me, I swear. It’ll be the death of me one day.”

Dabi remained quiet as his eyes stayed on the others expression, as if he was digging deep in his old training to read him. Keigo licked his lips, taking in a careful breath before sighing, shoulders slumping forward with him, “Fine, you caught me. I did want to talk, it’s just,” the words he was going to say were caught in his throat as he spoke, only to be forced out, “It’s just that you won’t like it.”

Dabi simply raised an eyebrow as his response, Keigo’s leg bounced, he was eyeing the food but it was more so out of trying to find something to look at rather than anticipation. Sucking in his bottom lip to bite down on Keigo’s head fell to look at the blankets beneath him, “What do you want in life?” Silence flooded the room around them. Each of them let it stretch thin, until Keigo spoke up again, “Like, I know you want change, but what else?” 

With the question their eyes met, both seeming to be tired, “Do you want to completely obliterate the system? Watch the world burn? Make minor changes in the machine that is society that inevitably gives it a new purpose?” He let his body turn to the villain as he spoke, wings hung low, sagging onto the blanket behind him while he searched for answers, “Do you want anything else besides change? Do you know what else you want to do?”

The gaze between them never broke, the idea of such only being teased with blinks, the seconds ticking down before the answer came, “I wanted to see the world burn for every awful thing it caused,” the answer shattered Keigo’s heart, the broken pieces falling over them like rain drops, “No matter which side you were on the people were cruel, greedy, and I would tell myself that at least the villains were honest with themselves about it. Even still, that doesn’t change the fact that shitty people deserve a shitty end, no matter who they side with. That was what I wanted.” Wanted. He didn’t want it anymore?

“But now, I think I just want,” he took in a breath, eyes looking on as if he were staring into the distance, unfocused but with meaning, “I think I just want a break.” The tension in Keigo’s shoulders fell, he didn’t even know that the pressure of the situation was getting to him subconsciously. Dabi continued on, “The world is awful, but being able to sit back and wait for your own end feels so much better than letting anger consume you to the point you bring along somebody else's.”

“Then come take a break with me.” The words were blurted out before he could stop them. Catching the others attention Dabi turned his head back so he would be facing Keigo, who pulled himself closer, resting his hand on the others forearm, “Let’s-Let’s give Aizawa our confessions, let’s give them their story, let’s give them the chance to take on the worst of the worst and,” instinctively his hand gripped the arm tighter in his hold, desperation filled his eyes as he looked up to those paralyzingly blue iris’. Those familiar blue eyes that he has seen be filled with every emotion a human could feel.

His other hand came up, cupping Dabi’s cheek as if to steady him when he didn’t need the help, “And then let’s go. Go to that house that you know of, and wait out until the end. Let’s just relax, sit back on a small homegrown farm because we would hate going out into town, do odd jobs for cash to bring decent people smiles, save kittens from trees because they got themselves in those situations without realizing that they couldn’t get out. Let’s,” Keigo forced himself to take in a deep breath, his eyes watering at the thought, “Let’s go live our dream.” He chuckled with a desperate smile, “I gave you permission to join, so please, please take my hand.”

The other didn’t respond, and with every passing second it only crushed Keigo’s hope more. His hands started to shake, his bottom lip trembled, and yet the other didn’t respond, didn’t move away from Keigo’s hands that held him as if he was the only thing that mattered to him in the wicked world they resided in. No, not until the first tear felt. It was like a calling. The moment the droplet fell from his eye a calloused hand raised to hold his cheek, thumb swiping over to dry the trail.

“I would love to pretty bird.” 

A deep breath fell from Keigo’s lips, slumping over to lean into the others hand, sniffling as more huffs wrecked through his body, before the tears continued to flow and small noises fell past his lips. Yet they weren’t of any negative emotion, instead they were filled with relief. Happy that Dabi chose him. After every terrible thing he has done, after all the torture they had been through Dabi chose him. 

Two hands now rested on him, pulling him into a tight hug. With one palm resting on the back of his head and the other on his wings. The cries now were muffled in Dabi’s shoulder, fingers carted their way through his hair before the hand on his wing started to do the same. A sputtered gasp came out at the familiar sensation. Dabi was undoubtedly rusty when it came to preening, but he was still one of the best. 

Tucking his forehead against his chest Keigo’s wings fanned open while carefully warmed fingers brushed through them, straightening the feathers, pulling a few looser ones out, overall just aiming to comfort. But before he could let his wings spread more, a few feathers carefully moved the food to a corner of the room and Ai out into the living room so he wouldn’t cause any trouble.

Once he was finally left with the gentle menstrations of the other Keigo would only be down to taking in short breaths, the preening was comforting enough to stop the tears, so it wasn’t enough for Touya.

When he started to hum a melody Keigo had forever been cautious around, he nearly broke down again. His head pressed into the other’s torso as he grit his teeth, forcing any more tears away. But slowly as the lyrics were whispered into his ear, slowly as he joined in softly any after effects of his reaction to the other agreeing to come with him dissipated, except the relief and pure joy he felt.

By the end of the song Keigo had a tight grip on the others shirt with his left hand, now wet with his fallen tears, and his right arm being loosely wrapped around his shoulder. He let himself stay still, let himself enjoy the feeling of being held by the other. He let himself enjoy being happy. Before finally pulling back to look up at him, softened blue eyes could easily spy the smile that seemed to make a home on the others beautiful face.

Pulling himself up Keigo pressed their foreheads together, an indescribable feeling of exuberance had washed over him. So in the moment, he let himself be selfish. He let himself push forward and steal a kiss from scarred lips. Dabi let him steal the kiss and in return he held him delicately, holding his body so he wouldn’t feel the need to move away.

Keigo would only pull away to mumble words to the other, “I’m tired of playing hero, villain, victim, and I know you are too,” with a deep inhale and a bright pink face he continued, “How about instead, tonight, let’s just be human.” The hand that rested behind his head slightly tightened in his grip as Dabi smiled at him in return, “Human?” He mused, leaning forward until their lips were mere inches apart.

“I like the sound of that, pretty bird.”

Chapter Text

On a day like this, Keigo wasn’t entirely surprised to wake up to the feeling of rough lips being pressed into his forehead as a hand gently held the side of his face, the tips of fingers barely brushing against his hair, treating him as if he was made with the world's most delicate glass. A hum of approval passed his lips, body leaning up into the warmth that his partner’s body radiated, something controlled just to appease the former hero's inner instincts. A light chuckle sounded out as gold eyes finally opened, lazily looking into those bright blue, a shade brighter than normal due to the occasion. 

After the night they agreed to go off together Keigo ended up contacting Aizawa, telling him that they would record their confessions in return no one attempted to intervene in their location until it was safe for the both of them to come out of hiding. Gentle whispers were passed, hints and hopes of if the moment of safety never came for them Keigo would manage to find a way to give Aizawa and his small family the location they were headed to. So they could visit. So Shinsou and Dabi could ease into a semi friendship filled with jokes Aizawa would hit them over the head for. So that Keigo could carry little Eri in his arms to fly through the sky, filling the Earth's atmosphere with giggles. So that a half baked hope mixed with a dream could become a reality.

Today was the day that the plan would go into action. The heroes had a meeting early in the morning, which means around lunch Aizawa had the opportunity to slip out into a secure building to record confessions of them both, the stories, the memories, the pain. Everything. Everything would be recorded and delivered to the public via trial, until then it would be hidden away from the Commission. It was the hero's secret weapon. The word of the young pro hero who passed away due to suicide of “unknown” reasons, the hero who was most pitied because he didn’t really get a chance to live. The world would then learn just how little he did live. Then there was also the word of a broken villain who has noticeably been making fewer and fewer appearances, and even when he was seen there were no run in’s filled with violence, as they once had been.

The plan was being put into motion today, and it was going to work. They were sure of it. It was why Keigo smiled as brightly as he did when his eyes fluttered open. It was why when he sat up he let his lips push into the others gently. It was why in his sleepy daze his hands held the other by his shoulder and cheek, while Dabi pulled him closer. The moment breathing life into the busy day ahead. When they pulled away the two didn’t move from their spots, instead they remained in each other's arms with their heads pressed together simply because they had the time.

Most of their things had been packed already, kitchenware, blankets, toiletries, and even some of their larger pieces of furniture were already in the old car. The bed could stay because the small house they were headed to already had one, a TV and a table the perfect size for two were in the backseat. All they really had to do was move their bags of clothes into the car and then they would be set to go. Keigo’s smile pulled out wider. We will be all set to go. 

With a playful hum leaving him Keigo suddenly jumped out of bed and onto his feet. Letting himself make his way to the door, only in a pair of sweatpants and a smile, knowing the others eyes followed him as he left the room and swung into the kitchen. As he stepped in feathers detached from his back and soared through the air, and he only heard heavier footsteps come his way as cans of ready to drink coffee and cereal bars were in his hands, set out the night before so they wouldn’t have to rummage through the boxes of food that they had.

As he opened his can a smile played at his lips while warm arms wrapped around him. How the mighty had fallen indeed, but they seemed to have pulled themselves back up beautifully. Leaning back into the others chest Keigo spoke, “Followed me all the way out here?” He questioned before sipping his drink, a deep chuckle rolled out, “I wouldn’t want to leave my little bird out all alone.” Dabi teased back, resting his chin on Keigo’s shoulder, even though it pushed at his left wing a bit uncomfortably, he didn’t mind.

With a pop of his tongue and running his tongue over his teeth Keigo pointed out, “You always have little nicknames for me, and I must admit, it feels a bit unfair that I don’t have any for you,” tilting his head to peer at the other he raised a brow, “Any ideas? Because I feel like hot stuff is either overplayed or too cheesy, then again you literally just call me bird sometimes so I guess it can only be fair.”

With a soft grin pulling on Dabi’s face he blinked slowly in thought as his gaze ran over Keigo’s glowing expression, mind being pulled in every direction he mumbled, “I think I have the perfect nickname, one that you especially could appreciate.” In silent response a blond brow raised in interest, watching the other as he engraved the moment to memory. A hand made its way up to the base of his right wing, fingers gently brushing through as silence ate up the anticipation, “I think, a good nickname to use, is Touya.”

Keigo froze in the moment, stunned that the other would ever give anyone permission to use his old name again. Eyebrows shots up as he stared, Touya’s voice filled up the room, “I don’t think Dabi fits what I’m about to do,” taking in a breath his shoulders were brought up, falling dramatically as he exhaled, “And if you can reclaim a name that was ripped from you seventeen years ago, who is to say I can’t do the same?” While he spoke a hand raised to push back any fallen strands of short blond hair behind the others ear, dragging down his jaw, committing every detail of such a tender moment to memory.

As the wave of shock washed over Keigo deep breaths were taken, as if he was going to cry, but luckily for them both he didn’t. Instead the smile returned, brighter than ever, “Touya,” the name sounded like pure honey on the others lips, “I would have never doubted your ability to take it back for yourself. If anything I would have encouraged it until my being couldn’t shout it to you anymore.” His own smaller hand raised to hold the side of Touya’s face, biting into his own bottom lip before releasing it.

Slowly Touya moved, as did his hands. Stepping in front of Keigo as his palm glided up to take the others. With each of their hands out, holding onto each other tightly their free arms would be found wrapped behind the others back. Keigo’s head rested in the crook of Touya’s neck while his wings sagged lazily behind him. The side of Touya’s head pressed into Keigo’s as they swayed to the sounds of silence.

To the sounds of nothing.

They danced without music and yet the feeling of such couldn’t rival any song that they could have picked. Instead they listened to the sounds of their heartbeat, to the sounds of them taking in quiet breaths, they danced to the rhythm of each other and neither of them would have ever wanted to change that moment. Likely the two would have stayed like that for much longer than they should’ve. Luckily for them both Ai had chirped out and flown over to rest on Touya’s head which caused the pair to chuckle and eventually move away. Heading off to start the day.

“And then she said she can’t believe, genius only comes along in storms of fabled foriegn tongues. Tripping eyes and flooded lungs. Northern Downpour sends its love.”

Excitement was building up quickly, Keigo’s chest felt hollow as he bounced in his spot. Finishing putting all of his clothes in the final bag the anxiety crawled up his torso, his head light, spinning slightly because they were so close to finally accomplishing what they wished for all those years ago. An escape and some justice. With the bag being pulled onto one of his shoulders he looked around the sparse room, now with only a bed being left. He eyed the old walls, the small window, the creaky floor, yet he couldn’t help but feel a bit saddened by the separation. His heart yearned for just one more night.

The sound of the front door though reminded him that they now had the freedom to push through onto new beginnings. A new start. A new life. Their dream. The one Keigo mumbled about from time to time, offered to Dabi and watched as Touya morphed it into one of his own. The one where he would find himself laying awake at night in hopes for. The sound of it became a reality echoed through the newly emptied apartment. The sound of the door, of Touya coming in to grab the last few bags made Keigo smile in relief. After all these years, after all the torture that the higher ups of society put them through, it was officially going to be behind them with one last video. 

After taking the final look of the room he walked into the living space, where Touya stood with two more bags in hand, dirt hidden under his fingernails after moving all of the plants. The last thing left was to get Ai in the cage long enough to shut the small door and bring him to the car. The rooms once filled with small pots of greenery that Keigo brought in were now emptied, so he gave himself the chance to peer around. Maybe it was the far off look in his golden eyes, or maybe it was because the other felt the same. At the sight Touya chuckled, “Grieving over a cheap apartment you spent a fraction of the time in?”

The sarcasm only made Keigo chuckle, “Of course, I put more life in it than you ever did, I was the one who brought the smiles and the plants.” He retaliated, gaining a bigger grin as Touya nodded, “And the kisses, and the cuddles, and the bird. ” At the accusation the blond snorted, “To be fair, you also brought in a bird yourself. An overgrown toddler of a bird no less. That’s on you.” With the retort Keigo pointed a finger at the other.

Chuckling Touya stepped forward, “You know, when you point a finger you have three pointing back at you?” He mused until his chest hit the finger with a light bump, “Oh, ouch, I can feel the burn of your accusations pretty bird. Oh I might not make it!” He feigned in exclamation, resting the back of his hand on his forehead dramatically, leaning his head back as he groaned. It only lifted the energy in the room.

But it also made Keigo grab the front of his shirt, pulling him down to press their lips together for the upteenth time that day. Pulling back he smirked at the other, “There, did that help your boo boo?” Guessing by the sly grin alone the blond knew the answer the other was going to give, “Oh my pretty bird, I think you have cured me of such an awful wound, but will you please do so again? I fear I might have fallen ill with a fever.” Pushing the others face away Keigo let out a loud laugh in response.

“Tell you what, you get these bags down there while I get Ai, you can be cured of more than a measly fever.” With cheeks dusted pink Keigo was pecked once again by the others lips, stealing the kiss quickly, “I’ll definitely make sure to take you up on that offer.” And with that he winked, turning around to let Keigo deal with the excited bird that flapped his wings to the much, much larger bird in the room. The sight was sickly sweet. 

As his feather rounded the chirping bird, Touya moved with the bags in hand, opening the door only to come to a sudden stop as a loud squelching sound echoed deafeningly. Turning his head in the direction of the door, the world seemed to freeze. Tears flooded his eyes while staring at the face who stood in front of Touya. The face of someone he should have expected.

If he had the time he would have cursed himself for being so slow. He should have asked more questions. Should have known. He should have known. Ihyo Sasu. The only other person to have survived unit six besides Touya and Keigo. He should have been in a mental ward, but the pieces suddenly clicked together. If that was the case, if he was supposed to have been put away from the rest of society the Commission would have had him killed. They would have never let him live with how much he knew. He must be their secret weapon against those who betrayed them, and Keigo was a fool who fell for such an obvious rouse.

Ihyo Sasu. Quirk, Precise Aim. A master of close combat weapons, with the ability to hit a near impossible target, and right now he had a knife shoved and twisted in the side of Touya’s gut. Time stood at a stand still as golden eyes met the empty look of Ihyo’s. The Commission actually broke him, like they had hoped they had done to Keigo. The only thing he had over him was the ability to fly and his speed, and even then the fight wouldn’t be easily won.

It suddenly felt like the two were back in training, going head to head against each other, and pulling the knife out of Touya’s side was the sound of the bell. Keigo leaped forward, birdcage long forgotten as he grabbed the other tightly. Ihyo was quick to spin though, lodging the same knife deep in his side, forcing out a yell as Keigo used his wings to push him away, the knife being pulled out by the force of such movement. His breathing went ragged as Touya groaned loudly, head spinning with the sudden blood loss he did what he could and decided to just go straight. To just pick a direction in hopes of escape.

That same knife whizzed through the air, making its way deep into Keigo’s shoulder as he screamed out, wings faltering for just a second before forcing himself to go faster. His brain tried to put together a plan, but his attention was immediately divided as he noticed how fast their aggressor chased them. Fear clawed its way through him as tears flooded his view, suddenly hope felt lost, but he couldn’t give up yet. Not when they were so close to their end goal. He bit on his bottom lip roughly. 

He had no plan, no idea of where to go, but he forced himself to move faster with each passing moment, tears flying off of his face as his wings ached with the sudden use, but it was overruled by adrenaline. Adrenaline that kept him going. Adrenaline that kept Touya in his arms tightly in the air. Touya. Touya, he just got him back, he couldn’t let him go. He couldn’t let him be killed when they are so close to a happy ending. 

The determination fueled him, but it also pushed Ihyo onto their path. Yet the one thing Keigo had that the broken soldier didn’t, was hope, but even that was taken from him. Yanked away from frail hands that did all that they could, pulling at the strings of muscle in his arms that connected to the weak fingers that so desperately clinged to it. Hope felt lost the moment that a second knife pushed its way through the air and dug a home in his wing, sprouting intense pain that flourished in milliseconds.

He couldn’t hold himself up anymore, the pain too great. His wings flapped, trying to regain some semblance of balance only to fail miserably, finding himself tumbling out of the sky and towards a tall building's window. His mind didn’t seem to catch on to which building, but before he landed he knew fate would be cruel no matter where he crashed. He’s a dead man who’s clinging onto a highly wanted criminal. It didn’t matter where he ended up, but the universe felt like he deserved to land in a place he never wanted to step foot in again.

Without any time to properly brace himself he crashed through the windows, tumbling while the body he was desperately clinging onto was ripped out of his hands from the force, Touya landing a few feet away from him. As his eyes blinked open quickly to regain understanding of the situation he could feel his blood run cold as the familiar view processed in his head. The dozens of seats, the large table, the people staring at the pair, but the icing on the cake was the woman who stared down the dead man with fear in her eyes.

What a wonderful twist of wicked events. He managed to land in the heroes early morning meeting. No matter how far he ran away he always seemed to end up back here in this awful building like he was personally chained to it, and honestly he wouldn’t be shocked if he was. A broken chuckle escaped his lips as he sat up slowly, more underway as the tears continued to flood his view, pouring down his face, “Oh you scheming bitch. ” 

The air was tense and filled with shock, it was clear that not every hero was filled in on Keigo’s status, and for some reason their idiocy made the whole thing worse. As his hand reached behind him Keigo grit his teeth as he yanked the knife out of his wing, heaving as he looked down to it. Gulping down the risen bile he pointed it to the Hero Commissions President, an unhinged smile on his face, pairing with the tears and blood in a wicked maniacal beauty, “You had me fucking fooled, I’ll give you that!”

Questions were at the tips of everyone's tongue, concern laced into feature, fear in others. Aizawa didn’t get the chance to step over and attempt to calm him down, Keigo beat him to the punch line, “I should have fucking known you kept Ihyo as your pet .” The tension only grew at the statement, as well as some confusion, Keigo was more than happy to clear things up, “The only other fucking survivor , you would have killed him if he would have actually been in a mental ward, I should have fucking known you two faced power hungry motherfucker,” more pained chuckles forced their way out of him, “And you sent him to kill us.”

With those seven words put out into the air the attention suddenly landed on the president as the heroes searched for confirmation over the incriminating accusation, “Is this true?” Keigo could recognize Aizawa’s voice as the attention was pulled to the most heinous person in the room, but the blond's focus was elsewhere. Turning his misty eyes to the bloodied body next to him his voice pathetically whimpered out, “Touya?” Quietly as he pulled himself closer to him. Freezing when he couldn’t hear a breath be taken in.

Fear overloaded him before relief flooded through when he could hear the soft inhale. It was weak, but he was still alive. He is still alive, there is still hope for them even as the world spinned out of focus from the bloodloss, their small sliver of hope still remained. Until it didn’t. No one could hear some of the country's best support items at work as Ihyo scaled the side of the building, but Keigo could sense it.

His head shot up, turning towards the direction of the broken window, his view barely missing the blade as it sliced through the air, grazing Keigo’s cheek before it curved down into Touya’s side eliciting a loud scream. Quickly pulling him into his arms Keigo lifted him up, using his damaged wings to propel him closer towards the president in order to curve around the room and escape. In the next few moments, time moved slow.

He made eye contact with Ihyo, looking as stilled dead eyes stared back, glancing down to his hand Keigo could spot the knife he experimentally twirled between his fingers. Watched as his arm raised and the knife soared through the air, Keigo was at the president's right side. Ducking down and pivoting his feet from behind her to her left, what would have been the killing blow was missed. Instead the knife was lodged into the side of her throat. He didn’t stay still to let the shock seep in. He didn’t remain still to watch the blood sputter. He refused to stay still and miss his chance.

As he made his way for the broken window Kamui Wood had trapped Ihyo by his feet, the branches ever growing around the broken man's limbs and torso, he was only able to throw out one more knife and it only lodged itself into the side of Keigo’s calf. By the time he was entirely engulfed by the quirk while other pro’s helped hold his limbs down, or toss off the support item’s. Keigo and Touya were gone.

He didn’t know where to go. He didn’t know what to do. He chose a direction and went with it just to ensure distance between them and the others. Who even were the others at this point. The Commission? The heroes? Society? Everyone else besides the pair of them? He wasn’t entirely sure, but what he was sure about was the fact that he was growing more and more exhausted with each beat of his wings. His right one, covered in his own blood from the wound, twitched as it moved. His eyesight was slowly going blurry and before he could stop himself Keigo was practically falling out of the sky and into a park with Touya still in his grasp.

Luckily he managed to catch himself with his feet before stumbling, the two falling to the ground. Keigo was on his hands and knees, desperately gasping for breath, suddenly feeling like he was on borrowed time. He could hear the hiss alongside the slow rustling of clothes, Touya resting himself on his back, half lit eyes that were glossed over stared up to the sky. The sight ripped Keigo’s heart apart. He failed. He failed the both of them.

Hope was crushed, he had a knife in his back and calf, he was bleeding from his wing and the blood loss was already having an effect on him. Touya was bleeding from his side and gut, and it looked hard for him to keep his eyes open and chest moving. Choking on a cry Keigo resided himself to the fact that this was unfortunately it for them. Thoughts and memories wrecked his mind as he thought about what he could have done differently, what he should have done differently, until he remembered a promise he made while going through everything in his mind.

Gritting his teeth he stared to the ground, gripping the greenery beneath his palms. It was a promise he intended on keeping, but he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to do it, because it then made it all so real, but he had to. Crawling over to Touya he picked up his left hand carefully, the ice blue eyes watching him curiously as a pained expression over took the blonds features while he flexed his right hand, “A while ago, I did a presentation to class 1-A, Fatgum, Eraserhead, and Kamui Woods. It bleeded into me telling them about us,” extending his talon over the back of his hand teardrops fell beside them, “I told them, that if anything happened to me because of the Commission they would find a slash in the back of my left hand.”

With a sniffle he carefully cut into Touya’s hand, gritting his teeth so he wouldn’t yell out from the pain. Setting the hand back down gently Keigo’s sobs started back up, raising his talon to his own hand, “And you’re getting on too, so they know you were with me.” Trembling as the pain was dragged across the back of his hand Keigo let out a huff, once finished he used his hands to keep him steady while taking in deep breaths. Keeping up the breathing method he reached around to pull the knife out of his back, knowing it will help it all end quicker. 

Tossing it to the side he practically crumbled to the ground, barely able to place his head on Touya’s chest. Listening to the slowing heartbeat as his quickened breathes turned to sobs. Fear and anguish of his failure ate him alive, even in death. A weak hand was placed on his back, gently rubbing the area between his wings, it only caused him to cough out, the words being pushed out helplessly, “I’m, I’m so sorry-” the others response was heartbreaking with how soft it was, “Shh, little bird. This wasn’t anyone’s fault except the Commissions, please, don’t blame yourself.”

Biting back his tongue Keigo didn’t dare defy the other in their last moments. Instead the tears rolled down his face, shaking as he laid on Touya, voice coming out more pitifully quiet than before, “Touya I’m,” gulping he paused, “Touya I’m scared. I don’t want to go.” His voice cracked, squeezing his eyes shut as he waited for some kind of hopeful answer, “I am too, but I’m sure we’ll see each other on the other side.” Keigo shook his head, he didn’t want to be on the other side, he wanted to be here.

But before he could persist to the other, Touya started to hum a very familiar melody. Starting in the middle of the song to ensure that they each could have the time to finish their parts.As his hum turned to words, Keigo’s sobs eased into something lighter, but he still cried. Listening to him start the song soothed Keigo enough to shakily join when his part arose. Shaky, choppy, and off beat it was awful in every sense of the word, but in the moment he couldn’t have wished for anything better. He let himself rest as he listened to the rumble in Touya’s chest, he felt the other’s chest rise with every breath he still managed to take, even in such a dire situation. Time was running out, but they managed to finish their song, this time without either of them fading away.

Keigo was able to recognize why the other did it. It was to calm him, just like he did when he first thought Touya died. Nearly he almost joked about them miraculously making it out of this one, but he didn’t want to bring them false hope as he felt his eyelids be pulled close. Gritting his teeth, he wanted to make sure Touya was smiling until the end, just like he deserved. So looking up he rose a shaky hand, “Hey Touya,” his voice came out rough as he pointed upwards, “Wouldn’t you say, that that cloud right there, looks like a bunny?”

It earned him a pained yet delighted chuckle. His arm fell onto the others torso as he attempted unsuccessfully to shake his head, “No way, that’s a duck.” He choked out, Keigo reporting breathily, “You’re, you’re out of your mind Touya, that’s a bunny.” He mumbled, but Touya didn’t respond. Instead silence filled the air and fear filled him.

Finally words gently poured from Touya’s mouth, “I love you Keigo.” It was as though he was stabbed another time, breath being caught as he heard the words be spoken for the first, and likely last time, “I love you too Touya.” He forced out a response, the quiet taking over once again.

“But that is so obviously a duck.” Keigo chuckled, as did Touya, “No, it’s a bunny.” He said, voice even weaker than last time, “Duck.” “Bunny.” “Duck.” “Bunny.” The gentle and playful banter didn’t last long, but it carried each to their last breath. Both softly smiling to the sky.

Far off a small yellow bird flew out the open door of a cheap apartment, landing outside on a rail, swiveling his head left and right. Before flying off in search of his family. 

“The ink is running towards the page, it’s chasing off the days. Look back at both feet, and that winding knee. I missed your skin when you were east, you clicked your heels and wished for me.” 

Aizawa, Rumi, or to anyone I trust,

If you found this letter, you found the other one, the one crumbled up in my apartment where my body resides. I don’t have much time to write this all out, but I hope that this is thorough. I’m not dead. It’s a fake body. You probably won’t see me for a while, and for that I am truly sorry. But I promise you this is not all without reason.

When they told you my story, how they trained me, everything from that first meeting after the raid, they tried to reassure everyone and say that the program was banned. That changed. After what happened, after we royally failed, they had decided to attempt to restart the program. With me as a head teacher for them. I couldn’t bring myself to even consider it. Then I saw who they wanted to bring in.

There is one stand out, that you can see here for yourselves in the files I gave you. She had been through so much, even the majority of the public could see that. So what other kinds of kids were they willing to give me? I couldn’t break them the way that they wanted me too. I just can’t. They said that the only reason that they restarted the program was because I was such a huge and instant success and they also admitted to not worrying about losing some along the way. They wanted more kids. More heroes to control. They wanted too much, and I can’t give that to them. So I faked my own suicide, just like all the other unit members offed themselves. Made myself a failure, because I would rather live in the streets to save a dozen or so kids than hurt them so badly they weed themselves out. 

Please make sure that they all remain where they should, give their families what they need so they don’t feel obligated to give their children up. I’m giving you these exact files so you can go over the Commission's oversight. Use it against them. Bring justice to people like me so that the world doesn’t crumble under the weight of monsters they create.

I wish I could write more. I wish I could say more, but I will finish off saything this. I love you all. You have been more of a family than anything I’ve had in this life. Thank you for being my support. Thank you for sticking around for me when I needed you the most. Thank you so much for being here, even though I have to leave. 

I hope that when everything is resolved and this is all over, that you find me. That you visit me. That you grant me more of your time so I can hopefully return the favor. I hope, because in all honesty that’s all I can do. It’s what you gave to me, and I refuse to let go anytime soon. I refuse to let it go, even if I’m beat down by my situation.

Just please, do not search for me before then. I don’t want anything bad to happen until we’ve at least all reunited again.

Once again, thank you. I knew I could count on you finding my real “suicide” note.

Sincerely, Keigo Takami.

P.S. Yes, you can hit me as hard as you want when you find me. XOXO

“Sugarcane in the easy morning, Weather-vanes my one and only. Hey moon, please forget to fall down. Hey moon, don’t you fall down.”

The sky was just the right amount of cloudy overhead. The sky is a nice calming shade of blue, shading the sun with the many clouds blocking it’s path. A cool breeze swept through, like a crisp autumn day. Taking in a deep breath and forcing their body upwards to sit, eyes stared out at a bright green hill. Tree’s surrounded the opening the body sat in. Confusion was laced in thoughts, unsure of where they were, or what happened.

Carefully standing to shaky feet they grounded their legs while taking in deep unneeded breathes. The air was cool, yet they weren’t cold. The grass under their bare feet was wet, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. The area was unfamiliar, but there was no urgency in running off in a panic. Instead the body moved where it felt like it should. Not into the trees that surrounded them, no, instead they walked where they felt a strange tugging towards.

Each step they crushed more grass beneath the feet of them, but if they looked back there would be no imprints. Like they didn’t belong there. The opening was expansive. Large, and in all honesty it took hours just to find their first land marker. A lake. Making their way over to the deep blue waters their eyes watched as their feet dipped in. Truly able to feel the coldness of the chilled lake, feeling like they were getting close to whatever they had to find.

Looking down they took in their reflection. Short, shaggy blond hair, and noticeably bushy eyebrows, they looked the same. He looked the same, except not exactly. His hand trailed up his jawline, it now being softer than he last remembered and having lost his stubble. Then a single finger came up to pull and brush over the sides of his right eye. The iconic naturally winged liner remained, but he no longer had pupils or iris’, instead his eyes remained pure white. Dead.

Looking down to his body he took in the sight of the dark oversized sweater, and even darker pants, his hands came back down to lightly drag his index over his bottom lip. Lip gloss. It was the outfit he chose when he and Touya snuck out for the first time. No wonder he lost his stubble, he was a teenager again. Confusion flickered through him. Trying to desperately make sense of it all.

His thoughts though, were interrupted by a chirping sound. Looking up his eyes caught sight of a lone bird in the sky, bright yellow and soaring proudly, “Ai?” He hummed out, which earned him a cheerful chirp in response. As realization washed over him he gasped out, head turning as the bird flew past him overhead. Quickly he followed on foot, excitement building as he called out to the bird again. Running and chasing after him as Ai  tweeted out happily. 

Pushing past the branches of trees he did his best to keep his eyes on the yellow bird, which grew harder and harder the further they went into the forest. The trees were growing denser with each passing foot. After hours there was no end, but Keigo never felt tired. He knew he was supposed to follow Ai. He had to.

But suddenly he couldn’t keep his eyes on the bird as he tumbled into another clearing. Ai was gone, nowhere to be seen. Taking in deep breaths Keigo slowly surveyed the area around him. Blinking as he saw the tended plants and small garden of sorts, decorated with cliche statues of gnomes and mushrooms. Turning his head more a small cozy house came into view made of bricks, rocks, and a small chimney resting on top, but before his head could turn anymore Keigo froze in place as his eyes fell on a single figure that stood next to the flowers.

Red hair and unmarked skin, accompanied with a signature style, yet once mesmerizing pale blue eyes were now a pure white, “Touya?” He questioned softly, disbelief consuming his tone. Touya didn’t respond at first, instead he stared, eyes wide before echoing a similar question, “Keigo?” The blond breathed out as he blinked quickly, suddenly before he could realize what he was doing his feet were moving him quickly to reach the other, a smile spread on an even more youthful and unscarred face, “Touya!”

His arms reached out as his wings extended, pushing him forward just enough to land in the redhead’s arms, burying his face into his shoulder and wrapping his legs around his waist. Touya stumbled, but was able to support the weight of them both, a true smile, no longer partnered with the painful pull of staples on his face, bloomed.

The blond had tears rolling down his face but they were born of relief and joy, “I missed you so much.” He choked out, pulling himself up to press their lips together, unable to hold back the smile on his face that refused to disappear. With one hand on the small of Keigo’s back the other held the back of his head, the blonds arms resting around Touya’s neck.

When the two pulled away their foreheads pressed together, each having an uncontainable smile. Touya looked into Keigo’s beautiful golden eyes as he mumbled out to him

“I missed you too, little dove.”

Chapter Text

The air was crisp, the prologue to the beginning of the school year. The right amount of coolness ran through the skies as clouds were perfectly placed. At least, to the person looking up to them right now. The area surrounding was calm, quiet save for the sounds of gentle chirping and the soft patter of footsteps along the rock and concrete path, which lead to a small clearing. Several benches were resting around the center where a statue stood proudly.

The back was a young teen, followed by a slightly older one. The statue was of five people. All walking in the same direction, the back being the youngest, and the front being the oldest, though there wasn’t much of an age gap for them. It was the order of which they had passed away, and leading them was a man that the person walking could barely remember. As a statue his red wings were dimmed to the rest of the monochrome scheme. Beside him, holding his hand, was another man that they had even fewer memories of. The statue of the man reaching out a sculpted scarred hand to the teenagers behind them.

Bitter nostalgia rose up their throat, eyebrows pulling together as the person slowed to a stop. Taking in each detail of the statue. Of each small indent. While they don’t remember much, they certainly remember the aftermath. Once their real passing had been broadcasted the Hero Public Safety Commission was suddenly going to trial against several heroes who had compiled evidence against them, including one particular projection quirk user who had direct memories from the late hero.

The media was scattered in uncertainty, but surprisingly the villain attacks under the name of Stain had slowed, change was happening. They didn’t need to try and force it. After the loss of yet another one of their main members the League of Villains was broken, most being easily captured but without room to argue because Dabi- Touya, was getting justice. Shigaraki was easily the most difficult and put up the most fight. After several attempts he was taken down by the hero Deku, arrested and placed into a new program that stemmed from the fall of the Commission which was readily replaced, with a system with far more regulations and radically different protocols.

The focus switched from arresting criminals to rehabilitating them. Switching focus from stopping villains to stopping people becoming villains. Actions were taken towards people and children in abuse situations, heroes were looked at under a magnifying glass before they could even hope to retrieve a license. Society was suddenly flipped, incredibly fast due to the pure amount of information that was hidden before the heroes going against the system made sure everyone in the country knew the truth.

Now of course with such a sudden difference, the heroes at the head of the case didn’t want society to go against them, so they waited a few years before the previous number one, the flame hero Endeavor, retired quietly to ensure that the people weren’t entirely uprooted with stress.

The world for them was flipped, and now here she stood as the result. In front of a memorium, nails digging into the bottom of a wooden bird house as an offering. She was here when the statue was unveiled to the public, and for quite some time it was constantly filled with flowers, food, trinkets of every degree, but she was the only one to bring a birdhouse. When the amount of visitors dwindled down in the small area, even if the offerings were ever plentiful, the birds of the area would return.

There was one that managed to catch her eye though, a small yellow bird that would constantly rest on top of the late hero and former villains head, as if used to sleeping there already. She was incredibly curious over him. When he was first spotted she wondered out about his name, she was still fairly young so the action made sense to her, even now. If you asked, she wouldn’t be able to explain or tell you why, but it was like something whispered in her ear to let her know.

She remembered the first time she smiled and called out, “Ai!” To the tweeting little thing, he had chirped out happily and flown down to her in an instant, flapping his wings with unmatched joy around her while she giggled. Every time she’s come with an offering she would bring a house for him to rest in.

Taking a few steps closer to the other gifts that were laid around the statue she carefully set the house down on the concrete ledge before standing back up to sit down on one of the benches. Crossing her legs she let her eyes wander over the piece, gaze falling on the young hero’s immortalized face. She doesn’t remember much, but it has also been ten years. Ten long years since he last babysat her.

A smile was gently pulled onto her features while her eyebrows relaxed into something more sorrowful. Eri wished that she could remember Keigo more.

After a few minutes she let out a sigh, it flew gently around in the air, “I know, I’ve been here so much recently,” she spoke out, “But I’m about to start my second year at UA, meaning I’m doing what I did last year.” A gentle chuckle rolled out from her, “I just find it insane you know? What you did. How different things could have been. How different I could have been.” Her mouth went dry as she bit the tip of her tongue.

“Dad would tell me about all the things that you explained to him, tell me about the program, how they wanted me. How they wanted you to teach.” Blinking quickly she smiled up at the metal face, “But that’s not a fun topic to go over, and it’s honestly probably pretty awful to bring up here. Sorry.” Eri’s voice faltered as he gently rubbed her arm, eyes looking down before picking her head back up.

“Uhm, something that is fun though is that the Wild, Wild Pussycats are celebrating Kota getting accepted into UA. Throwing him a party and everything, and well,” her voice trailed off for a moment as she stared, “And well, I was invited. It seems like a lot of fun, and quite a few people are going to be there. Including mister number one!” She chuckled, knowing Izuku would love to see her there, even if only for a few minutes, “I just, don’t know. I feel like I’m just stuck, is all right now.”

The wind rustled her hair, pushing it in the direction of the breeze. Eri closed her eyes, letting the phantom touch of the air push past her with a hum. Even now she can’t exactly describe the feeling of what was happening around her. Like someone murmuring into her ear. Pushing her to go , to go and live. Live like those before her couldn’t. Go live, and smile, and be happy, and surrounded by those who love, surrounded by those who care, go experience all the things the teens before her couldn’t. 

Letting out a trembled breath a single tear rolled down her cheek, nodding she took in an audible and deep breath, “Yeah, yeah I can do it. I can go do it.” Eri nodded a few more times before standing back up. While her visits were short they were still fairly frequent. Soft red eyes looked up to the still face before her, “... I’ll see you soon Keigo.” She uttered softly, before politely dipping her head. Straightening back up she ran a hand across her cheek, taking in a stuttered breath before walking back down the path.

Unknown to her two pairs of blank eyes watched, gentle joy on soft expressions. Keigo moving back to resettle into Touya’s side, “You know Keigo, you don’t always have to be such a meddling guy you know?” The redhead teased, earning him a toothy grin, “I know, but I want her to have a fun life you know? Not so stuck on the past like we were.”

Touya nodded, watching the white haired teen walk down the path, “After all these years, with so few interactions, you still care for her so much.” He pointed out, “I do,” the blond mumbled back, pressing into his side, “She’s the closest thing I had to family, and by Gods did she deserve the world after the mess of cards life threw her way.”

He paused looking at Eri, who was now only a dot in the distance, “If you knew her, I’m pretty sure you would understand Touya.” A calloused hand ran up and down Keigo’s upper arm in a soothing manner, the side of Touya’s face pushed into the top of Keigo’s mess of hair, “If you feel that way about her, I’m sure I already do little dove.”

From then on silence overruled them, sitting back on a bench made just for them, to watch the sun dip beneath the trees and soon the horizon. Letting themselves be enough for the other as eternity pushed onwards.