Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

I shift in my chair, the wood of it creaking beneath my weight. A clock ticks somewhere off in the distance, breaking the silence of the waiting room. I eyed the door across from me, wishing I could hear what was happening on the other side of the wood.

When Yoongi asked me if I wanted to go somewhere today, I never would've expected this. A restaurant, a park, maybe even just the supermarket. But his therapist's office? Never.

It’s been about a month since Yoongi and I confessed our feelings. In that time, some things have changed. Yoongi makes sure to make time for dinner together once a week, he sends me good morning messages and makes sure I get to and from work safely.

And yet, while those things have changed, a lot of things have stayed the same. Besides the times that we eat together, I barely see Yoongi. We text a lot more now, but I still feel like I barely know anything about him - despite the fact that we’ve lived together for three months now and are dating.

But were we dating? Neither Yoongi or I have put a label on what we are, never asking each other if this was an actual relationship. We haven’t kissed, or said those three words, since that first time.

And Yoongi never spoke another word after that day.

It feels strange - this feeling of uncertainty. It feels like I’m stumbling through a dark room, arms outstretched as I try not to crash into a wall.

The weeks have passed with no sign of Jungkook, despite his parting words. That first week was the worst. It seemed like I was walking on eggshells constantly. Every time I checked my phone, I was sure I was going to get a message from him. When I went to work, I was certain that he would be waiting for me there.

But he never showed and I started to breathe a little easier.

The door starts to open, Yoongi’s head popping out. A small smile lifts his lips when his eyes meet mine, the butterflies in my stomach shooting into a frenzy at the sight. He motions for me to come over. I hesitate a second, uncertain, but stand - my knees a little shakey as I take that first step. Yoongi grabs my hand when I’m close enough, his skin cool against my own.

The office he pulls me into is spacious, the back wall formed completely from glass - the afternoon sun shining through. Bookcases line the other walls, filled to the brim. A desk sits with it’s back to the windows, no one behind it.

“Thank you for joining us, Jimin.” A voice says softly, drawing my attention to its source. Yoongi’s therapist, Dr. Kim his placard outside had read, is standing in the center of the room, a dimpled smile on his lips. Even from this far away, I can tell that he’s tall - taller than both Yoongi and me.

Yoongi tugs on my hand, leading me towards the sitting area. Dr. Kim reaches out his hand as I approach, giving me another smile. “I’ve heard so much about you.” I return the smile and shake his hand, bowing slightly. He gestures to the couch behind me, “Please, have a seat.”

I sink onto the couch, Yoongi perching on the other side. Dr. Kim sits in the chair across from us, crossing one leg over the other. His blazer glints in the sunlight, his dark eyes watching me from behind his glasses. I shift, feeling a bit uncomfortable under that stare. It felt like he could see right through me, down to every fear and insecurity I’ve ever had.

“Please, don’t feel uncomfortable, Jimin. I know this type of thing can seem intimidating. Can I get you anything to drink?”

“Oh, no thank you.” His voice was soothing, his gaze understanding. “I’m okay. I’ve just never been to anything-” I gesture to the room, “-like this.”

“Understandable.” He sips from the mug on the table between us. “I promise not to take up too much of your time. It’s customary for me to bring in my patient’s significant others, just to gather how things are going. Especially in a case like Yoongi’s.”

I turn towards Yoongi, whose eyes were staring out the window, my brows crinkled in confusion. “Is that what we are, Yoongi? Significant others? Boyfriends?”

His head snaps to me, his surprise written all over his face. He watches me for a second but then drops his eyes to the table in his hand, scribbling on it quickly.

“I mean, we’ve never really talked about it. After that initial time, I mean.”

“Yoongi,” Dr. Kim cuts in, his voice soft. Yoongi and I both turn to look at him. “We’ve talked about better communicating your feelings. I’m sure Jimin has been pretty confused these past few weeks.” He looks to me. “Isn’t that right, Jimin?”

I fidget with my fingers, feeling uncomfortable. I shouldn’t have said anything. “I mean-”

“Your feelings are valid, Jimin.” The words hit me like a punch in the stomach, my breath whooshing out of me. How long had I been waiting for someone to say that? For someone to tell me that I wasn’t overreacting or making a fuss out of nothing. “And it’s important that Yoongi knows how you feel, even if it’s not good. He wants to know, don’t you Yoongi?”

I look towards him slowly, uncertain. No one really wanted to be bothered with someone else’s feelings, did they? It would be a burden if I told him everything and I didn’t want to be-

Yoongi’s eyes met mine, the intensity in them making me swallow down a gasp. He nodded, his gaze never leaving mine.

“Try and use your words, Yoongi.”

Yoongi’s brows furrow, a crease forming between them. I’ve always wanted to reach out and touch it, to smooth that skin out and ease his worries. But I sit still, watching as his mouth opens and closes a few times.

He clenches his jaw, the muscles in his cheeks jumping with the effort. I wait patiently, my eyes on his. I would wait as long as he needed me too. “I-” His voice is hoarse from disuse. “I am not-” He sucks in a deep breath, the sound of paper crunching as his fists clench. “I am not him.”

I suck in a breath, my stomach dropping.

Him.

Jungkook. The man I had loved for six years. The person who I had trusted to listen to my problems and help me. To care about my feelings. And yet he didn’t, did he? No, he saw them as a burden. Brushed them off until, eventually, I felt too uncomfortable to tell him about them anymore.

Yoongi had noticed. He had watched and saw that I bottled up my feelings, too afraid to truly voice them. And he knew exactly where that fear stemmed from.

“I know,” I said, quietly. “You are so much better.”

He grinned at me, a soft blush on his cheeks. His pen moved against the paper before he held it up, letting me read what he’d written on the now crinkled sheet.

“Hmmm.” I quirk a brow, smirking. “Are we now? You never asked me to go out with you, did you?” His hand reached for the pen again but stopped when I laughed. “I’m just kidding, Yoongi. We’re dating.”

“As cute as I think this is,” Dr. Kim drawls, pulling our attention form each other. “I do think you guys need to work on your communication. That’s your first assignment, okay?” We nod. “Now, Yoongi, you’ve made great progress in the last two months.” He glances at me, smiling softly. “Of course, I can see why you decided to push yourself to talk. Did you know, Jimin, that I’ve been seeing Yoongi for years? That he’s never had any interest in speaking until - suddenly- he shows up at my door two months ago, panting and out of breath.”

“I-” I glance at Yoongi, who is making sure to look anywhere else but at me. “I didn’t know that, actually.”

“He had met someone,” the doctor continues. “Someone who made him realize that he wasn’t where he wanted to be. And so, he’s been working tirelessly since then. He saw me every day after that, working on his speech.”

Looking at Yoongi, I could feel the guilt swirling in my stomach. That’s why he had been disappearing every day? Why I never saw him? It wasn’t because he had someone else, or didn’t return my feelings. He was working on himself. For me. For us. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked him, my voice thick. “I spent that month wondering where you were. If I had somehow messed it all up.” I sucked in a breath. “I even almost took Jungkook back. And the whole time you were here? For me?” My vision goes blurry, my breath hitching. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

I look down, trying to hide how upset I am. A soft tap to my chin has me looking up, Yoongi’s handwriting scrawled across the page.

I frown, my tears forgotten. I push his tablet out of the way to glare at him. “You’ve always been good enough, you idiot.” I cross my arms in front of my chest. “With or without being able to speak, you were more than good enough.” I sigh, letting my arms fall. “I’m flattered, Yoongi. I am. But I’m an adult. I kissed you, Yoongi. I kissed you. I wouldn’t have done that if I thought you weren’t good enough.”

Yoongi looks to the doctor, his eyes beseeching. Dr. Kim gives a soft sigh before speaking. “Yoongi told you about your past, Jimin. We talked about it briefly. And with the way that things ended between you and Jungkook, Yoongi wanted to be the best he could be before he pursued you. He didn’t want you to go from one neglectful partner to another.” He gives Yoongi a stern look. “So while I believe that, yes, he should have discussed his feelings with you. I know that he came from a good place. I hope you won’t be too harsh on him.”

“How could I ever be harsh to someone who thinks that much about me,” I grumble.

“Now, I want you two to work on your communication. Relationships are difficult, even without the added difficulty of a mute partner. Yoongi, I want you to think about what we spoke about earlier. I think it would be beneficial for you to talk about it. It may help open up an avenue of understanding. Okay?” Yoongi nods his head. “Good. Can you go schedule your appointment for tomorrow? Same time as always?” Another nod. Dr. Kim smiles. “Good, then I’ll see you tomorrow.” Yoongi stands and I go to do the same- “Actually, Jimin, can you stay for a few minutes? I’d like to discuss something with you.” I glance at Yoongi. He gives me an encouraging smile and a brief thumbs-up before slipping out of the room.

I drop back into my spot, my earlier nervousness returning ten-fold. “What do you need?”

“I just wanted to speak to you for a few minutes alone.” He takes another sip and I wonder what’s in the mug. Did he prefer tea or coffee? “I’ve known Yoongi for years and he’s always been adamant that he didn’t need to speak. I was truly surprised when he changed his mind. I want to thank you. But, I also want to warn you.”

“About what?”

“Having a mute partner is difficult. My own partner struggled with it for most of his life.” He pulls a photo from the table beside him, handing it to me. Two men beam at me from behind the glass, their interlocked hands raised high above their heads as the crowd claps around them. I spy the matching rings on their hands. One was definitely Dr. Kim, but the other man was a bit shorter, his shoulders broader. “My husband’s name is Jin,” he tells me. “When I met him, he had just started his journey into speaking. I was underprepared for how difficult it would be. There were fights, there were misunderstandings. I just want you to be prepared for what the future could bring you.”

“Does he speak now? All the time?”

“Almost,” he says truthfully. “Most of the time he communicates just as you or I would. But sometimes, after a particularly bad day or a trigger, he can revert back.” He takes a short pause, letting me digest. “I used to take it personally. I used to think that if I could just comfort him better or support him more, it wouldn’t happen. It’s easy to think that way. But that’s not reality. Human beings are complex, we all react to events in our lives in different ways. Understanding that is going to be a big part in making sure your relationship works out.”

“Did it ever get overwhelming?”

“Sometimes,” he admits. “But it’s important to remember to communicate with your partner and tell them when you’re reaching that point. It’s also important to have a friend that you could confide in. You and Yoongi have a mutual friend, right?”

“Yes. Hoseok. I’m actually going to see him today after this.”

“Good.” He taps his finger on the arm of his chair. “He can see both sides of the situation, so he’ll be able to help you both.” He stops tapping and leans forward, his forearms on his knees. “Does my answer make a difference? Does knowing that Yoongi may never completely get over his muteness change anything?”

I stare down at the picture in my hands, taking in those smiling faces. If I hadn’t left Jungkook, this would have been our future. I’m certain my face wouldn’t have been as happy as the ones staring back at me though. Sure, there would’ve been a smile. But it would have been as superficial as our relationship - only going skin deep.

It was going to be hard, of that, I had no doubt. There would be fights and misunderstandings. Tears and yelling.

But it wouldn’t be a superficial love.

And I knew then that I had my answer.

I set the picture on the coffee table, meeting Dr. Kim’s gaze. A smile starts to pull on the corner of his lips when he sees my expression.

“No. No, it doesn’t.”

Chapter Text

Yoongi’s waiting for me when I leave Dr. Kim’s office, his head tilting slightly as I close the door behind me. “It was nothing,” I say, answering the unspoken question. He raises his brows as if to ask Really? I trace my hand along his shoulder as I pass, chuckling. “I mean it. He just wanted to discuss something with me.” I hold the door, letting him out first before stepping into the warm, spring air.

I take a deep breath as the sun warms my skin, loving the feeling. Fingers twine with my own, drawing me from my basking. My skin turns clammy as I look down, seeing Yoongi’s hands wrapping around my own. Turning my gaze to his face, a grin splits my face as I catch him looking away, a blush tinging his cheeks.

Yoongi’s the type to get easily flustered, so I don’t say anything. Instead, I just smile and let him lead me down the street towards his car. I’d forgotten the giddiness that came with a new relationship. The glow a new boyfriend could bring to the world.

Boyfriend.

That’s what Yoongi was to me now. Just the thought of Yoongi and boyfriend in the same sentence made my grin spread wider, my fingers holding on a little tighter. Had I ever been like this with Jungkook? I’m sure I must’ve. Especially since-

Stop. No comparing.

My smile falters for a second, guilt swarming me. Yoongi had told me not even an hour ago that he wasn’t Jungkook. And yet, here I was, comparing them. I had to work on distancing myself from that relationship, to not relate everything back to it.

Yoongi opens my door for me, oblivious to my inner chiding. I climb in, Yoongi closing the door and rushing to his own side. When he’s settled and pulled into traffic, he grabs my hand again, driving with his left hand as his right one holds mine on the center console. I try not to grin like an idiot this time but, by the way that Yoongi chuckles, I don’t think I pulled it off.

“Can you drop me off at Hoseok’s?” He nods, his thumb tracing small circles on the back of my hand. I sigh, dropping my head back against the headrest. “I’ve been putting off seeing him. Everything was so crazy for a while there and I wasn’t sure where you and I stood. I knew he would ask questions and I didn’t really have any answers, you know?” His thumb taps against me and I know it’s to tell me he understands. I give his fingers a small squeeze. “Now I can’t put it off anymore. I hope you’re prepared for him to get totally invested in our relationship.” He chuckles and I smile. “You’re right. He already is. I’m pretty sure he’s been fully invested since the moment I told him I needed a place to stay.”

The car stops and my phone chimes a moment after. Opening my eyes, I read the message:

“I can imagine,” I laugh, picturing it. “I bet he got that look he always does when he senses a match. You would swear the guy was a cupid in another life.” We stop at a red light, my phone chiming again.

I turn towards him slightly, his sentence making the gears in my head turn. “Why did you offer? You didn’t have to. You didn’t even know me. I was just some friend of Hoseok’s.” In the months I’ve lived with Yoongi, I don’t think he ever told me why he helped me.

The car is silent for a while, only Yoongi’s soft music playing in the background. We were out of the city now, which meant fewer red lights and stop signs so there was no chance for Yoongi to reply to me. When he pulls into Hoseok’s driveway, he finally types me a reply.

I’d never even considered that Hoseok had mentioned me to Yoongi, after all I’d barely heard anything about him from our shared friend. I’d never seen a photo of them together or seen him at any of the parties Hoseok’s had over the years. I only knew that Hoseok had another best friend, one that kept mostly to himself. “I can’t believe he told you about Jungkook and me,” I sighed, embarrassment coloring my cheeks. “But I guess I can’t blame him. I knew he didn’t fully approve.” I give his hand one last squeeze before pulling away. “I’m glad he told you. After all, it led to this, didn’t it?” He smiles back, nodding. I open the door and climb out. “I’ll have Hoseok drop me off later.” Closing the door, I step back and wave. He pulls out, leaving me to my fate.

Hoseok’s home, which usually felt as welcoming as my own, now felt intimidating. It was a modern spin on a traditional Asian house; all sleek corners and wide, open glass walls. It had been a gift from his grandparents, a house he could pass down through generations. I had been jealous at first, but I grew to love the place.

Taking a deep breath, I open the door. “Hoseok?” I call out, stepping into the brightly colored living room. I slip my shoes off and make my way to the black leather couch. I grab one of the throw pillows, my fingers plucking at the green fabric. I had gotten these pillows for Hoseok as a house warming gift since they were his favorite color. They also matched the wall across from me, which Hoseok had painted a soft green since ‘white was too boring’.

“Hello, police?” Hoseok stands propped against the archway to his kitchen, his phone pressed to his ear. “Yes, there’s a stranger in my house.” I roll my eyes and throw the pillow at him, but he side-steps it. “He looks and sounds exactly like my best friend but that can’t be him since Jimin has currently disappeared off the face of the Earth.”

“Alright, alright.”

He brings the phone down and slides it into his pocket. He grabs the pillow off the floor and settles onto the couch, turning so he’s facing me. His oversized shirt swallows his legs as he crosses them in front of him. “And what, Oh-Great-One, have I done to deserve a visit from you? You don’t answer my calls or texts and I can only get vague answers from Yoongi.” He pouts, his hands fisting in the fabric of his shirt. “I was worried, Chim. I haven’t heard from you in-”

“Yoongi and I are dating,” I interrupt him.

His words cut off, his mouth dropping open. He blinks a few times before his eyes go wide. “You and Yoongi are what now?”

“Dating.”

“No. Freaking. Way.” He leans forward. “As in boyfriends?”

“Yes, Hoseok, as in boyfriends.” I roll my eyes at him. “Unless you know another kind of dating?”

“I’m just surprised is all. Well not really. I expected this-” He cuts off, sliding until he’s sitting right beside me. “You mean to tell me that you’ve ignored me for a month - which is a total crap move, by the way - just to come in here and drop this on me?”

I grab another pillow, tugging on a corner as guilt riddles me. “A lot of things happened.”

“Oh, I bet they did.” Hoseok settles his glare on me, my guilt ramping up ten-fold. “But best friends are supposed to tell each other things like this. So I need details. Right. Now.”

And so I give them to him. I tell him about it all. Yoongi sitting outside my room all night. Him speaking for the first time. The confrontation with Jungkook - which got me a glare from Hoseok. I told him about the kiss and the uncertainty of the last month.

Hoseok sat quietly for a few moments after I finished and I could see the gears working inside his head, processing all I’d told him. Exhaling heavily, he rubbed his hands down his face. “You weren’t kidding when you said a lot had happened.”

“It was pretty crazy for a while,” I admit. “I’m sorry I’ve been AWOL for so long. I just didn’t know how to explain everything.” I grimace, looking away. “I know it was a crappy thing to do.”

“You’re right,” he says, nodding. He rests a hand on my arm, giving it a light squeeze. “But I get it, I do. You’ve had a rough few weeks and you needed time to process.” His face hardens, his glare coming back. “And what about Jungkook? Has he tried to contact you since then?”

I shake my head. “No. It’s been silent. I’m not sure if I should be thankful or wary about that.” I rub the back of my neck. “I know Jungkook is a good guy. He’d never hurt a fly. But he’s just-”

“Out of his mind? Crazy? Unable to take a hint?” Hoseok shifts, his arm resting on the couch behind my head. “Because I think all of those seem to fit him right now.”

“He’s not crazy. He’s just hurt.”

“I’m not sure why you’re even defending him right now. You know I like Jungkook, hell I helped get you guys together, but right now he’s being crazy and he needs to get help.” I wasn’t sure why I was defending him. Maybe it was a habit. After all, I’d spent the last year of our relationship defending him to everyone. I’d defend him when my parents got on my case about letting him stay unemployed. I’d defend him when my friends told me how sketchy his relationship with Taehyung was.

“This just isn’t him, you know?”

Hoseok’s face softens and I know he understands what I mean. Jungkook was soft, he was kind. He wasn’t this type of person. “I know, babe. But let’s face it.” He cups my face. “Jungkook hasn’t been the same guy you fell in love with for a long time. The guy who used to bake you heart-shaped chocolate chip cookies or who would run miles in the rain just to see you has been gone for years. You just held on for so long that you petrified there, unable to move or let go.”

I drop my head, biting my lower lip. Hoseok was right, of course. The relationship that I had held on to for so long no longer existed, hadn’t for years now. I’d just been too blind to see it.

“I’m glad that you finally got the sense to get out, though.” He pats my head, soothing me. “I mean now you get to be all lovey-dovey with Yoongi.” He snickers, pulling a few strands of my hair.

Blushing, I smack his hands away. “Shush. We are not lovey-dovey.”

“I totally called it, by the way,” he brags, looking sickeningly proud of himself. “I just knew that you guys would be a total power couple if you ever got the chance. You just had to stop fighting a losing battle and Yoongi just had to work up the courage to do more than steal glances at the photos I have of you.” I gawk at him, the butterflies in my stomach soaring once again. He takes one look at my surprise, his eyes glinting as he smirks mischievously. “Oh, you didn’t know did you?”

“Know what?”

“That Yoongi used to sit here and try to pretend that he wasn’t looking at your photos. He would deny it, over and over. But I knew that-”

The front door opens, interrupting him. The shuffling of feet sounds from the entryway behind me, a vaguely familiar voice shouting, “I’m home!”

Hoseok smiles, waving to the newcomer. “Just in time! There’s someone I want you to meet!” He turns his smile back on me. “Jimin, this is my cousin that moved in with me.”

I muster my friendliest smile, wanting to start off on a good note with Hoseok’s family.

My smile falters when I turn to meet a familiar pair of brown eyes.

“Jimin, meet Taehyung. Taehyung, meet Jimin.”

Chapter Text

A heavy, awkward silence settles over the room as Taehyung and I just stare at each other. He’s changed a little bit in the past few months. His mullet has been changed to a shorter, curlier style. His eyes are colder than they were when I first met him. I force my smile a little bigger, giving him a small wave. “Good to see you again, Taehyung.”

He ignores me, his mouth pulling down in a frown. Hoseok speaks up from beside me, “You guys know each other?” He glances between the two of us, confusion wrinkling his brow.

“We met each other three months ago, at his shop- What was the name of it, again?” I wracked my brain, trying to remember the sign.

“Vante,” Taehyung speaks coldly.

“Yes! Vante!” I chuckle, trying to lighten the mood. “Jungkook took me there since he and Taehyung are friends. Let me tell you, Hobi, Taehyung makes the cutest little deserts.”

If I didn’t know better, I would think Taehyung was blushing slightly at my praise, but his voice is still harsh when he speaks to me. “You shouldn’t talk about things you know nothing about.” He glares at me before walking to the hallway.

“Tae!” Hoseok yells after him, jumping up. “You shouldn’t be rude to Jimin!”

I pull on his shirt, “Don’t worry about it. I’m sure Taehyung doesn’t think too highly of me after everything-”

The man in question freezes in the center of the room, his back to us. When he whirls around, his eyes accuse me just as much as his voice does. “And why would I? After everything you did to Jungkook, why would anyone ever think highly of you?” He turns his venom towards Hoseok. “I can’t believe you can still be friends with him. I thought you and Jungkook were friends too? You helped them get together! How can you sit there after all the pain he’s caused?”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Hoseok hisses harshly, taking a small step forward. I hold on tighter to the back of his shirt, trying to keep him from doing something he’d regret.

“I know that he-” Taheyung jabs a finger in my direction “-hurt someone who loved him completely. I know he sits there and hides behind you, letting you fight his battles for him!” He turns those cold eyes on me, the look in them freezing me on the spot. “You hid behind your new fling when Jungkook tried to talk to you before and now you hide behind my cousin? Why don’t you fight your own battles, Jimin?”

I swallow, my fingers starting to tremble. I wasn’t good at confrontation. I was more of a sit-down-and-talk-it-out kind of person, but Taehyung had a point. I needed to defend myself. “I-”

“Why should Jimin have to explain anything to you, or to anyone, over what Jungkook did?” Hoseok stood up for me once again. “How is this his fault? You’ve only heard one person’s side of the story, Taehyung, and yet you want to stand here and insult him because you think you know everything?” He grits his teeth, fists clenching at his sides. “You know nothing!”

“I know enough to know that Jungkook would never lie to me!”

At Taehyung’s shouted words, I couldn’t help but laugh. And once the laughter started, I couldn’t quite get it to stop. I felt them turn to stare at me, and the looks on their faces - as if they couldn’t quite believe I could laugh at a time like this - just made me bust up even more, tears starting to track down my cheeks.

Taehyung, more offended than before, spoke up first. “What the hell could you possibly be laughing for?”

I wave my hand, clutching my side with the other one. “I’m sorry,” I get the words out between laughs. I breathe slowly, finally gaining control of myself again, and wipe the dampness from my cheeks. “I just couldn’t believe how much you sounded like me just then.”

Hoseok couldn’t help the little pft that broke through his lips, “You’re right.” Calm again, he sits beside me.

“You’re crazy,” Taehyung bites out. “As if I could ever sound like you.”

I can’t help but smile. “And yet, you do. Tell me Taehyung, how long do you think Jungkook and I were together before I finally ended things?”

“Why does it matter?”

“Six years,” I answer for him, ignoring his tone and glare. “And when you’re with someone for that long, you think you know them better than you know yourself. You know their hopes, their dreams, what they hate, what they love.” Taehyung watches me, suspicious but still listening to my words. “Don’t you get it? I never thought Jungkook could lie to me, let alone hurt me. How could he when we knew everything about each other?”

“But there lies the problem, you see?” I tapped my fingers against my knee, letting the feeling calm me. “No one can you know another so completely. After all, we’re all human, aren’t we? We’re ever-growing, ever-changing. If you two lose sight of each other for just a moment, suddenly you know nothing about the person next to you. The Jungkook I fell in love with no longer existed. We lost sight of each other and when we finally looked back, neither of us could accept that we weren’t the same.”

“Couldn’t you have worked through it?” Taehyung asked softly. He was still guarded, but his features had melted just a bit. “Couples work through things like this all the time, don’t they? So why? Why did you give up?”

“Do you think he didn’t try?” Hoseok spoke up from beside me. “Every day, I watched as Jimin tried to get them back on the same page. Talking, screaming, begging, nothing worked. Jungkook would ignore it all - still blind to how different they were becoming.” I heard Hoseok swallow, his voice coming out softer. “When things are the same for so long, you get used to it - take it for granted. And I’ll admit that I didn’t notice when things got to be too much.” He turns to me, his eyes red and glassy. “I’m so sorry, Chim. You struggled all on your own, forcing a smile onto your face even though you were breaking inside.”

“It’s not your fault,” I ruffle his hair, trying to take the pain from his eyes. “And honestly, I don’t regret it anymore. I fought hard, but there’s no shame in giving up something that is no longer yours.”

“You’re nothing like he made you out to be,” Taehyung’s quiet words drew our attention. His eyes were drawn to the floor, his hands fisted into his apron. His shoulders slumped, the weight of his misunderstanding weighing them down.

“I don’t blame you for believing him, Taehyung,” I reassure him. “Why wouldn’t you? I’m sure he made very compelling arguments. And, to him, I probably do seem despicable.” He looks up and I give him a soft smile. “Just don’t judge him too harshly, okay? This isn’t who he is and when he finally moves on from this, I hope you two can keep being friends.”

“Why you always defend him is beyond me,” Hoseok sighs. A beep sounds from the kitchen, and he jumps up, clapping his hands. “Snacks are done!” He skips to the kitchen, patting Taehyung’s shoulder as he passes.

I smile, gesturing to the chair next to the couch. “We’re gonna watch a movie. You can join if you’re up for it.”

“Really?”

“Of course!”

He shuffles his feet for a second, his eyes darting around the room. “Well…. If you’re sure I can join…” He rubs the back of his neck. “I just need to go clean up.”

“I’ll tell Hoseok not to start until you’re back.”

“No need,” Hoseok’s voice sounds as he strolls back in, a tray in his hands. “I already heard. Hurry up Tae, or the food will get cold before you get back.” Taehyung nods, dashing into the hallway. “I swear, that boy won’t learn to be nice until I smack some sense into him.” He sets the tray on the table before us, my mouth watering at all the snacks. I try to sneak a dumpling, but Hoseok smacks my hand away. “Ah! If I let you have the snacks before the movie, there won’t be any left for during!”

“Just one,” I whine.

“No!”

Taehyung comes back, rubbing a towel on his hair. I chuckle, noticing that he seems to share his cousin’s pension for oversized clothing. When he’s in his seat, Hoseok moves the snacks, making sure they’re within easy reach of all of us. The lights dim, the screen flickering to life. The movie starts and, knowing Hoseok can’t stop me anymore, I reach for a dumpling.

Taehyung and I smack hands, both of us giggling as we apologize. He hands me a dumpling before taking one for himself and I can’t help but smile. Months ago, I resented him. And now?

Now, maybe we could be friends.

Chapter Text

The sun has long since gone down by the time Hoseok and I pile into his car, the moon casting eerie shadows across the world. I had stayed longer than I’d planned, all of us too into our marathon and snacks to notice what time it was. It wasn’t until Yoongi texted Hoseok that we realized what time it was.

“I’m glad you and Taehyung got everything sorted out,” Hoseok speaks up when we get on the road. “For a second there I thought I was gonna have to smack him.”

“You fighting?” I almost laugh at just the thought. “Yeah right.” I look out the window, tapping my finger on the armrest. “He’s a nice person. Who knew that Jungkook’s friend was your cousin?”

“Yeah, well if I had known it was him I would have put a stop to it right there.” Hoseok’s voice is strained. I turn, seeing his knuckles going white as he grips the steering wheel. “You got so hurt when Jungkook started flirting with Tae. I would’ve warned him that he was in a relationship so that it would’ve stopped him.”

“I don’t blame Taehyung.” Not anymore, at least. “He didn’t know about me. The fault rests on Jungkook and no one else.” It's taken me a while to see that, but it was the truth. It wasn’t about who he betrayed me with, it was the fact that he thought he could do it at all.

My phone dings, the screen lighting up with a message. “It’s Taehyung, isn’t it?” Hoseok laughs as I skim the message. “I can’t believe you gave him your number. You guys are gonna be closer than you and me at this rate.”

“Is that a pout I hear?” I tease. Patting his arm softly, I try to console him. “You know you’re my all-time best friend, Hobi.”

He huffs, the car coming to a stop as he pulls into Yoongi’s driveway. I climb out of the car, the window rolling down behind me, Hoseok’s voice following it. “Just do me a favor, okay?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t let Yoongi kill me for making you late for his plans tonight, okay?”

And with that, he’s gone.

I turn towards the lit-up house, my head cocking to the side. What plans did Yoongi have for tonight?

The lights are on when I step in the door, but the house is quiet. My fingers tremble as I tuck my shoes into the closet, my voice wavering slightly when I call out. “Yoongi! I’m home!”

“I’m in the kitchen!” Yoongi’s voice echoes across the house. I follow it, noticing that the lights get dimmer with each room I pass. I can see light dancing across the archway of the kitchen as I approach it. I freeze in the arch, my mouth dropping open.

Yoongi’s clad in a flour-speckled apron, his hair pulled back with a headband. Little streaks of icing line his cheeks and stains the gray shirt he’s wearing. Flames dance in his eyes - reflected from the candles on the cake he holds in his hands.

“What’s all this?” I ask, breathless.

I can see his Adam's apple bob as he swallows. “H-Happy One Month Anniversary.” His voice is quiet and deep, still slightly scratchy from disuse.

I glance at the cake, then back to him - repeating this cycle a few times as warmth swells in my chest. “Did you make this?” I take a step closer as he nods. White icing reflects the orange glow of the candles, strawberries covering the top. Tears sting at my eyes, emotion choking me. When was the last time someone went to this much trouble for me? “Thank you,” I say softly, my voice quivering.

The smile Yoongi flashes me is brighter than the flames that dance between us. He sets the cake on the island, quickly blowing the candle out. He hits a switch on the side of the island, the lights overhead flickering to life.

Sitting across the countertop from him, I watch as he cuts us both a small piece. I almost chuckle when I see that he gives me more strawberries than himself. I take the offered piece. “Thank you,” I tell him again. He just nods, motioning towards the cake. Taking a bite, I groan. “It’s unfair how good this is.” Yoongi chuckles, taking a bite of his own. I watch him as he chews, his head nodding slightly. Guilt settles in my stomach. “I feel bad that I didn’t get you anything.”

Notching an eyebrow, he watches me. He slides a drawer open, pulling his notebook from inside. How prepared can one person be? I watch patiently as he writes his response before turning it to me.

“Still-”

I hear a cabinet open as he reaches down. A moment later, he pops back up - a fishbowl clasped in his hand. Spying the slips of paper that fill the glass, I cock my head to the side. “What’s this?”

I nod my head so enthusiastically, I’m sure I could pass for a bobblehead. I’m so thankful that I could call Dr. Kim right now to thank him. I’ve been wanting to get to know Yoongi better since I met him but was unsure how to go about doing it. “I would love to play,” I tell him. I lean forward, not even trying to hide the excitement on my face. “Do you want to go first?”

He nods, digging around in the bowl and choosing a slip of paper. He places it between us, letting me read it out loud. “What is your favorite thing about me?” I laugh. “Glad we’re starting out easy.”

“Your voice,” Yoongi speaks, surprising me. He blushes when I look at him, his fingers fidgeting with the pages of his notepad. “You have a nice voice.”

“T-thank you,” I sputter out, my cheeks burning. I clear my throat, trying to hide my embarrassment. “For me, it’s your smile. I don’t get to see it all that often so-” I swallow and I can feel my ears turning red when I see Yoongi watching me. “Alright! What’s the next one?” I fish in the bowl, pulling out my own slip. I set it down, reading it out. “What brings you joy?”

“Hm,” I ponder, rubbing the back of my neck. “This one’s a bit harder.” We sit in silence, both of us thinking. “I guess, for me, it’s dance. It’s the one time when you can clear your head and not think about anything else, you know?”

Yoongi nods, his jaw clenching for a few moments before he speaks. “Music is the same for me. You can say so much, even without words, and no one can censor you.”

It made sense. After all, Yoongi had been mute for years so, of course, expressing his words without actually saying anything is important to him. But what about censoring? Had someone tried to control him before? My heart ached when I thought about it. I knew that feeling. Jungkook had spent months forcing me to be quiet in our home so others didn’t know I was there.

“I love your music,” I tell him. “It’s beautiful.”

I was starting to notice that Yoongi tended to write instead of speak when he was saying things that embarrassed him. It was kind of cute. “I’ll invite you when Hoseok and I put on another show.”

He pulls another slip, setting it between us. “What is one thing you’ve noticed about me?” I read it aloud.

“When you think really hard about something,” Yoongi starts, “you scratch your nose.”

“Do I really?” I laugh when he nods. “I had no idea.”

“It’s cute.”

And the blush is back, stinging at my cheeks. “When you get embarrassed, you tend to write your sentences instead of saying them out loud.”

“Some emotions make it more difficult for me to speak my thoughts,” he admits easily.

It really was not fair. Why was I the only one getting super embarrassed? I pull out another question, “What is your favorite childhood memory?”

Thankfully, this one’s easy for me. “My favorite childhood memory is when I met Hoseok. His parents had just moved into our neighborhood and since we were around the same age, they thought we could be friends. We hit it off right away and spent the day building a pillow fort together.” I laugh, remembering how my mother had groaned when she found us stealing every pillow and blanket in the house. “We fought and fought until our parents let us sleep in it. Then in the morning, they had to dig us out of it because it fell on us in the night.” Then we had to spend the rest of the day afterward putting everything back in place.

“How old were you?”

“Six,” I tell him. “And we’ve been friends ever since.” I pop a strawberry in my mouth, speaking around it. “And what about you? What’s your favorite childhood memory?”

“Ah,” Yoongi sighs. “I don’t remember much of my childhood.” He smiles apologetically. “The only thing I recall clearly is when my mom got me into the piano. That would probably be my answer.”

“You told me about it before,” I recall. “At our first dinner.”

I read the next slip as he pulls it, “When were you the most afraid?”

When was I the most afraid? Was it when I left the only relationship I’d ever known? When I kissed Yoongi and thought I messed everything up? Or when Jungkook showed up here? Noticing that Yoongi hasn’t spoken yet, I look to him.

His hands are trembling, pages ripping under his grip. His eyes stare straight ahead, but it doesn’t seem like he’s really looking at anything. “Yoongi?” I call him but he doesn’t respond. I try again, but there’s no response. “Hey, Yoongi-” I reach out to touch his hand. He jumps when my skin touches his, his fork clattering to the counter when his elbow hits it. Icing bounces off, landing on his cheeks. “Are you okay?”

He grimaces but hides it under a smile. Tipping his head down, he writes a short message.

Then he’s gone, his footsteps loud against the floor. I’m still staring at the spot where he sat, wondering what went wrong, when I hear the door to his studio close. I’ve never seen Yoongi react to anything like that.

Was it the question? I put the cake away and cleaned up the mess as I pondered. Why would that question set him off? Was there something in his past that I didn’t know about?

Something flutters to the ground as I pass the island. I pick it up, reading the next question we would’ve had to answer. My eyes widen when I read it and I know what I should do.

A minute later, I’m outside the studio door, the paper clenched in my fist. I knock, Yoongi’s icing-streaked face peering at me from the crack in the door a moment later. I push the door lightly and he relents, letting me in. The studio is just like I remember, except now there are a few more Kumamon figurines littering the shelves. I whirl around when he closes the door, our eyes meeting. He looks away quickly.

“You don’t have to explain or answer the question,” I tell him. “I won’t push you for it. You can tell me when you are ready. I’m not here for that.”

He pauses for a moment before he looks back at me. “Then what are you here for?”

“I’m here to answer the next question.”

“What’s the next question?”

I take a step closer, holding the slip of paper up so he can read it. “When were you the most courageous?” His eyes meet mine, his brows furrowing. “When were you the most courageous, Jimin?”

I bring my hands up, cupping his cheeks. “Right now.”

And then I kiss him.