Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“We’ve talked about the Vampire courts already,” Bob whined as Butters took him from the computer room to 'the workshop' where they worked on 'magic for muggles.'“We’ve gone over the major courts: White, Black, and, until recently, Red.”

“But I want to know if there is anything beyond the major courts?” Butters said, “Like, they sounded like they mostly operated in Europe and America.”

Bob’s eyes gleamed, “You are always so attentive, I love it. Yes, there are more vampires out there than just the big three. Some are even more common than the Reds were, but they don’t actually organize politically.”

“So, what do you know?”

“Where would you like to start? A continent? How likely are they to show up in Chicago?”

Butters folded his arms and leaned back in his chair, “How about ‘most common overall’ and then work our way down to less and less common ones.”

“Well, I only mentioned the Jade Court in passing. They’re the vampires of Asia, but the plural of it is the important part. Unlike the other courts, it’s made up of more than one species. Mostly, it’s made up of Pennangalan, Aswang, and Jiang-shi.”

“I’ve heard of one of those. Jiang-shi. They’re the hopping vampires of China?” Butters rubbed his chin.

“That’s how they are often portrayed, but what they can do varies based on how much and how recently they’ve fed. They’re similar to the Black Court, but more common than them these days, though mostly limited to China and Vietnam. They are indeed corpses that take sustenance from the living to keep going. Unlike the Black Court, they drain the life energy from a victim rather than blood, usually eye-to-eye contact. It takes a few seconds to establish a link, but it still makes fighting them when they are awake quite difficult. Especially for a magic-user.”

“So, what can they do?”

“Like almost every vampire, they’re strong, fast too. They use the life energy of others to repair the damage done to their corpse-body as well as get certain things to work. A weak Jiang-shi hops about blindly with its claws outstretched trying to sniff out its next meal, deaf and mute too. They may look silly, but they move as fast as the Reds can even with only their nose to guide them. And they can smell the breath of a person almost a half-mile away and use it to navigate pretty darn well. Though they don’t hop more than a foot off the ground, it’s really short bursts of hovering. Once full, they hover full time and even gain back their other senses and their voice.”

“I suppose you use those paper spells to stop them.”

“That’s one method, yes, but the movies always gloss over the details.”

“Such as?”

“It has to be held in place by sticky rice, and it works best if the ink is mixed with Chicken blood and the ashes of a burnt paper talisman. And that won’t stop them, it will bind them to the will of a magician. It’s a weakness they fear greatly, especially since many were ancient alchemists who found a way to gain Immortality and really don’t want to give up any autonomy.”

Butters nodded, “All that work and they end up someone else’s servant.”

“A powerful servant at that. Though the rice tends to lose stickiness with time and use, so it’s not a permanent solution. Most of the weaknesses of the Jiang-shi only delay or repel them. Mirrors, holy symbols, the cry of a rooster, acupuncture along the back, crippling OCD when it comes to counting seeds, beans, and straw bundles--”

“Seriously?”

“Yes, and also hilariously! It annoys them to no end. Even in the middle of a fight, you throw a bunch of beans at them and they have to stop everything to pick them up!”

Butters rocked in his chair a little, bringing his fingers up to his mouth.

“If not for the straw, I’d say they were sucking the life out of the beans and see them as a better food source.”

“A sound theory,” Bob said.

“I just hope to never need to test it.” Buttes chuckled, “So how do you kill them?”

“Beat them to death with a stonemason’s awl or weapons made of peachwood. Fire too, but keep in mind that many of them are also warlocks on top of being vampires, so there are other things to worry about beyond just their undeath. That’s why most hunters wait for them to go to sleep before attacking them. Then, the best way is to remove his left sock, put a mushroom in it and throw it in a river.”

Butters blinked. “You’re making that up.”

“Nope!” Bob tittered, “I think the original alchemists who created the spell to make Jiang-shi included that part intentionally just to make sure no one would believe they had a weakness that ridiculous! Besides, spells like that need an escape clause to continue their operation over a long period of time. Otherwise, the energy costs would be far too great for any practical use.”

Butters nodded, “Is it true that a simple scratch can turn a person into one?”

“Thankfully no, but any person drained of life by them has a good chance of rising as a servitor Jiang-shi. The two most common ways are to bury a corpse in a very insulting manner or a sorcerer performing a ritual to become one on their death. This means that the most powerful of them, and the highest-ranking, are also sorcerers.”

“Okay, what about the others?”

“Pennangallan or Nurikabe are floating heads. By day, they are regular people. At night, they find a secluded spot, separate their head from their body and go out to drink blood, eat fetuses, and generally cause mayhem.”

Bob blinked, “Eat fetuses?”

“They seem to consider it a delicacy or something,” Bob said, “Lot of power to be gained from that sort of thing.”

Butters shuddered, but then thought, “I wonder how many work in abortion clinics.”

“Not as many as you might think from what I hear tell. Most operate in countries that don’t really condone most forms of birth control.”

“So, what else can they do?”

“Well, aside from being flying heads, many drag along their entrails to use to entangle attackers. They have a sedating gaze to make attacking easier. Some drip poisonous black ooze which causes venomous faerie thorns to grow up when they wish it, with a paralytic alkaloid toxin on top of it. They’re strong for their size and extremely durable. As long as they are a floating head, they are almost unstoppable.”

Butters nodded, “And the 'almost' part?”

“If they stay detached past dawn, they can be burned away like any unprotected spirit would be. If you find the body, you can either destroy it, hide it, or put vinegar or ash over the neck-hole to make sure they can’t re-attach easily. Holy weapons work well against them, naturally. But the easiest way is Stingray venom.”

“Stingray venom?”

“Instantly lethal. Even a dry and desiccated stinger carries enough of the stuff in a metaphysical sense to drop them no problem.”

“How do they spread?”

“They are only women, so any woman killed by a Pennangallan will revive and become one. Some believe a ritual exists to turn a person into one, but that’s only a rumor.”

“And the last variety?”

“Aswang, another ‘vampire warlock’ situation. Because of the variety of magic in the world, there is a lot of variety to them. The key here is their feeding method. They have a big tongue that they can reach out and grab people with, draining from about 6ft away.”

“Like in The Strain?”

“Pretty much. They’re strong, tough, and undead, with claws to match those of the red court.”

“And to stop them?”

“Destroy the heart or head to drop them. They catch fire pretty well and are harmed by holy objects. They’re also repelled by strong cooking herbs, like garlic.”

“That’s a weird mix of features,” Butters said.

“The large number of cultures influencing the Philippines allowed them to find weaknesses in their local monsters that others wouldn’t think of trying.”

Butters nodded, “Humans work best when working together and sharing ideas.”

Bob’s eyes gleamed, “Exactly! It’s the best advantage humans have.”

“Okay, what about the other types?”

“The only other major court is found in India, The Diamond Court -- many facets of one whole as they put it. In fact, a lot of vampire activity is in India. That they are a unified court of any kind only serves to hide the variety they have. This includes the Vetala or Vampire Fiend which is more common in the Americas, Europe, and Africa than its origin might place it. These are similar to black court vampires, but instead of a spirit animating its own corpse, it’s a demonic spirit doing the driving.”

“That,” Butters said, “Sounds like it’s a little bit worse.”

“In many ways, it is.” Bob said, “They’re strong, fast, tough, and even though they are living corpses, they can heal themselves as fast as faeries can form non-iron injuries. Faster if they feed enough. Bullets generally don’t cause them any real inconvenience unless the shot blasts their head off or is of high enough caliber. They are instinctively good at hand to hand combat, can see well in the dark, scent blood about a mile off, and each vampire has some sort of mental connection to the vampires it makes, and those that made it, though things are a little sketchy around that part.”

“Pretty straightforward, what else?”

“They can disguise themselves as humans relatively well. Only a lack of heartbeat and their cool bodies give them away. Of course, when they bring out their fangs, they look very inhuman.”

“How?”

“Face gets all predatory. Scowly brow ridge and they just don’t have large canines, but slicing pre-canines and incisors too.”

Butters thought for a second, “Must give them a hell of a lisp.”

“Sometimes,” Bob admitted, “But make no mistake, they are dangerous. They can reproduce quickly -- anyone drained and given the blood of a vampire fiend will rise as one in a few days. They’re like roaches. You see one, ”

“They definitely sound like bad news,” Butters said, “And stopping them?”

“That’s the good news!” Bob said, “They have most of the Stoker classics, but not as extreme as the Black Court. Holy water, holy symbols, fire, sunlight, decapitation, garlic, and wood.”

“Wood?”

Bob titered, “Shove a wooden stake at their heart and it goes in like a hot knife through butter. And when they die, the demonic spirit grabs as much energy as it can and flees back into the never-never, vaporizing the corpse on the spot.”

Butters pulled back a little, “They explode?!”

“You have quite an imagination, there,” Bob said, “But no, they just crumble into dust. Usually, as the demon screams its way back to the never-never.”

“Convenient,” Butters said.

“The other vampires of India seem to derive from that template to some degree or another. Though most of the others browbeat the Vampire fiends into serving them, and the only reason why any of them have any Accords presence at all. The vetala are just too savage to organize on their own.”

“Thank goodness for small favors,” Butters sighed.

“The churel are not much more advanced than the vetala but have a more horrifying visage when they put on their game faces. They also tend to hang around crematoriums to eat the mourners.”

Butters thought for a minute, “This has something to do with the whole Caste system doesn’t it.”

“Indeed it does,” Bob said, “I love how clever you can be!”

“But there’s more to go on with, just like the Caste system, that’s just the bottom rung. The Pischaca are more like the Black Court, looking like rotting corpses at the start. Some have learned illusory magic to cover it up, but mostly, they’re bloodsucking corpses full on. They can also spread diseases rather well.”

Bob sighed, “Well, at least that one won’t be as scary as some of the things I’ve already seen.”

“The Baital,” Bob continued, “Are, in a sense, Vetala who are able to leave their host body and find a new one. They appear as demonic, large, bat-like monsters with lots of horns on their faces. They use corpses like other spirits use ectoplasmic constructs.”

“Something tells me,” Butters said, “That they probably have accumulated a lot of occult power and knowledge to pull something like that off.”

“Bingo,” Bob said, “They are extremely rare, mostly it takes over 2 thousand years for a vampire to gather the power to do that, and the few that do live that long sometimes are too attached to the physical world to consider trying it. As far as records show, there are currently only 5 Baital in existence.”

“And killing them?”

“The rising sun.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

Butters sighed, “Glad they’re so rare.”

“But even they aren’t the highest of the Vampire Court in India,”

“They aren’t!?” Butters squeaked.

“No, that honor goes to the Dakini. Basically vampire angels.”

Butters thought for a moment. A thousand questions raced across his mind, so he grabbed one: “How?”

“They are semi-divine beings that developed a taste for human blood,” Bob said, “They come to people in dreams, entice them in with their oh-so-lovely bodies.” Bob tittered, “Before using their abilities to control people’s dreams and turn them into nightmares. They can read people’s souls, and tend to be a little faster and tougher than the average vampire of similar ages. And they tend to be older than some civilizations.”

“Yikes,” Butters said, “That’s… That’s bad.”

“And because of their nature, they are indifferent to Holy Symbols and holy effects. A blessed blade against them is just a regular blade. Still dangerous, but not as dangerous as it is for other vampires. Thankfully, there are not many of them, and most of them have” Bob’s eyes flicked, searching for the word, “Converted.”

“Converted?” Butters said, “To what?”

“Some serve the goddess Durga,” Bob said, “Rumor is they owe her a debt and now they serve her to repay it, going into people’s dreams and laying bare their flaws. Supposedly to spark improvement in a mortal’s life, but they take a little too much joy in it.”

“And what do the others do?”

“They’re Buddhist nuns now.”

Again, Butters’ mind raced with questions, and it took him a moment to grab one “What?”

“They converted to Buddhism, only take energy from those willing to offer it, and generally try to be helpful semi-divine beings that just so happen to need the energy of beings capable of dreaming to continue functioning.”

“Moving on,” Butters said.

“Africa is a weird place for Vampires. A lot of them got brought over to the Americas thanks to the slave trade, but they don’t really go in for a full organization most of the time. Soucouyant are one example. Also called an Obayifo or Asema, it disguises itself as a human during the day. At night, it takes off the skin and reveals itself.”

“Takes off its skin?”

“Like changing clothes to them,” Bob said, “Anyway, their true form resembles a water flea, but with arms and legs. Opaque, so you can see all its organs, which glow with internal power.”

“Bioluminescence?”

“Bingo. They have sharp twin proboscis to drain blood from a victim and stun their prey via electrical shocks. Their bodies are round and fat but can squeeze into holes a mouse could use. And they can fly.”

“How fast?”

Bob paused a moment, thinking, “About forty miles an hour.”

“Yeesh,” Butters sighed, “How are they made.”

“Dark rituals, mostly,” Bob said, “So each one is likely a warlock on top of everything else.”

“And to stop them?”

“Like pennangallan, Sunlight is the main way to stop them. Either keep them out in sunlight via their crippling OCD over counting rice, or find the skin and either hide it or fill it with salt or other common metaphysical irritants or disruptors to make it unwearable. Then the sunrise will do the rest.”

“Well,” Butters said, “At least a lot of the prep work has overlap.”

“True,” Bob said, “It helps with the storage.”

“What else?”

“Sassambonsam,” Bob said, “Or Asanbosam. The name depends on the region, really. These are some of the most ancient vampire species known. The oldest name we have a reference for this variety is Yulsercë. Blood Drinker. Unlike every other ‘vampire’ they do not in any way related to humans. They are demons, pure and simple. They normally take the form of giant bats, twenty feet or more wingspans. They can take human form, and their claws and teeth are as hard as steel.”

“Pretty straightforward,” Butters said, “I bet there’s more to it than that.”

“Much more,” Bob said, “Because they are ancient demonic entities, they usually know quite a few magical tricks, usually related to wind, draining energy, poisonous gasses, sonic attacks, and blood magic.”

“Oy vey,” Butters sighed.

“Very Oy.”

“How do you stop them?”

“Sunlight, Fire, stabbing them in the heart, or using blessed weapons and holy magic.”

“Again, standard at this point,” Butters said, “Is there something else to it?”

“Thankfully, no, they’re bad enough as it is,” Bob waited a moment and added, “Though I do appreciate the skepticism.”

“Okay, what else is out there?”

“There’s the Blue Court, the Nosferatu, the sawtoothed, and the one-offs.”

“One-offs?”

“Vampire species that are so rare they might as well be a single individual. Might as well talk about extinct species like the Reapers, or Turok-Han.”

“Okay, let’s keep going as before. Largest to smallest.”

“Right-O, boss!” Bob chirped. “That means the Blue Court. They are the most troublesome of all vampires, at least in terms of explaining it. There’s an occult detective in LA, McDonald, I think, he had a saying for this sort of thing: ‘There’s no set of rules. Some monsters have all the trappings of the legends, and some don’t.’ and the blues put the truth for that.”

“What do you mean by that?” Butters asked.

“Generally, Blues can have all the powers and weaknesses of a Black Court vampire, but not only do they look like regular humans until they get angry and their eyes go bloodshot red and their fangs grow out like they’re in a Hammer production, but they can have more or fewer powers, and the same applies to weaknesses.”

“How does that work?” Butters rocked in his chair again.

“Remember when I said that the Jiang-shi started as alchemists looking for immortality?”

“Yeah?”

“Same idea with the Blues, but a different group of warlocks sought immortality and turned themselves into vampires to do it. Same with the weaknesses.”

“They alter the spell animating their bodies? That’s…”

“Potent.”

“Also insane.”

“That too,” Bob said, “Usually, they’ll make a bloodline with what they’ve figured out, with only the smartest, oldest, and most powerful being able to modify it. So, when facing the blues, you never quite know what to expect.”

“Lovely,” Butters sighed.

“Thankfully,” Bob said, “They tend to be self-centered jerks, and rarely give their creations as many spells as they know, preferring to let their progeny grow on their own. They are also mostly limited to Europe and are so self-indulgent that they barely make any moves on the world stage. Even better, because of their focus on bloodlines, they are very, very bad at organizing beyond their immediate families.”

“So, not likely to show up in Chicago?”

“Once in a blue moon at best.”

“Alright, so, Nosferatu?”

“You’ve seen the movie, basically that,” Bob said, “They’re physically stronger and faster than most other vampire species, plague spreaders, and if they establish a group, they can form a hive mind. They can be killed with fire, decapitation, and sunlight.  I'd say you know what they look like, but as they get older many species of vampire tend to 'decay' into that form. Vetala and Blue Court in particular.”

“Pretty easy to understand,” Butters said, “Maybe not to deal with, but to understand. Next?”

“Sawtooth vampires are very rare. Almost extinct,” Bob said, “Easy to spot once they get their fangs out, due to the fact their ‘fangs’ makes their mouth look like that of a great white shark. They are similar in abilities and power to the fiend vampires, but they aren’t as bulletproof and they have to feed on the blood of the living. Dead blood is toxic to them. Even better, hit them hard enough with anything and they’ll go down.”

“So, that trash compactor trap we talked about?” Butters smiled.

“Totally viable!” Bob said, “But they are rare, so we’ll keep it on the back burner for now.”

“Okay, so what’s left?” Butters asked.

“Just the one-offs you’re unlikely to ever meet,” Bob said, “Ya know, Blue court Dhampyres, Daywalkers, Vampirella.”

“Wait, what?” Butters leaned forward, his arms stuck in mid-air as he took in that information, “That’s … Vampirella?”

Bob sighed wistfully, “Yeah. Lovely woman, really. And her Boobs!”

“She’s...” Butters stammered a little, “She’s a comic book character!”

“And,” Bob said, “A very real, very beautiful vampire who really hates other vampires.”

“Wha-” Butters rubbed his face with one hand, “How?”

“How does she work, or how did she get a comic book deal?”

Butters thought and said, “Both.”

“Well,” Bob said, “She’s basically a corporeal demon from deep within the Nevernever. She drinks blood, but because her home realm had blood flowing in rivers, she never had to take lives to feed and views the act of doing so as abhorrent.”

“That makes some sense,” Butters said, “And her powers?”

“Well,” Bob sighed, “Comics do exaggerate things, but she is strong, fast, tough, and regenerative. She has claws, fangs, wings that she can retract, as well as some minor mesmeric abilities.”

“Like the Black court?”

“Thankfully, no,” Bob said, “What she can do is closer to hypnotism than domination.”

Butters thought and said, “So, she can’t get you to do something that you wouldn’t do normally.”

“By and large, yes,” Bob said, “It’s still very grey magically speaking. If she were human, of course.”

“It feels weird to ask, but does her kind of vampire have any weaknesses?”

“If you knew about her mother, you wouldn’t think so,” Bob said, “But yes. Generally, the vampire weaknesses that would get a normal human killed -- fire, decapitation, that sort of thing.”

“Okay,” Butters said, “I get that. Now the difficult thing -- she’s a comic book character!”

“We made that RPG, remember?”

“That’s different,” Butters said with less conviction than he thought he would have at first, the words dying as he heard them.

“Same idea, really. She found herself a writer, told him her story, and got a licensing deal out of it to help fund her hunting. And she kept the stories coming to keep the series going. It’s not that uncommon.”

Butters started to ask one question, thought better of it, and said, “Any other examples?”

“Well, among vampires at least… There’s Eric Brooks, Chastity Marks, Lestat de Lioncourt,” Bob said, “Though there is a lot of stuff out there being published at the behest of the vampire courts to put out propaganda for their own side. They have Anite Blake, Sookie Stackhouse, and -- ”

“If you say Twilight’s based on true events--”

Bob snorted, “Thankfully, no. It’s still White Court Vampire propaganda. Playing the same notes The Phantom of the Opera did back in the 80s. Desperate housewives are always a key demographic that only occasionally gets exploited. Blake and Stackhouse, though, are real people. The details are usually changed to tell better stories, but the people, places, and at least some of the events really do occur.”

“So, they’re propagandizing for the vampires?” Butters said.

“Anita bound herself to the White Court when her Ectomancy got her in trouble with the White Council,” Bob said, “Stackhouse’ not-so-nice Faerie relations are kept at bay by one of the Blue Court families. It’s how they pay for their protection, at least in part.”

Butters’ face scrunched up a bit as he forced the conversation elsewhere, “Lestat is real? What’s he?”

“Again, White Court,” Bob said, “One of the rare Whites that does drink blood from what I’ve heard. Every bit as an egocentric and self-centered person as you might come to expect, though he has taken up the habit of ‘husbanding humans. Like a lot of these works, they’re filled with half-truths and exaggerations.”

“But don’t some of those books have all this,” Butters motioned to the paranormal paraphernalia they’d gathered, “Out in the open?”

Bob sighed, “Like I said, half-truths and exaggerations to play into their propaganda..”

Butters nodded “If vampires are shown to be out in the open and part of everyday life in those stories, it makes it easier for them to lure in prey and get people to gloss over the whole ‘eating people’ thing much more easily.”

“Exactly,” Bob said.

“Now books I can understand, movies too,” Butters said, “But comics? I still think that’s a bit of a stretch.” Butters chuckled and said, “Next you’ll tell me superheroes are real!”

Bob’s eyes shifted, “Well…”

Chapter Text

“So, what do you want to do today?  Another overview?” Bob said. 

“I was thinking werewolves,” Butters sat down at his desk, “Ya know, covering the classic monsters as we before we--”

“Talk about living comic book characters proper,” Bob said, “that is a bit much to take in.”

Butters took in a deep breath, “I still need time to process that.  So, let’s go with werewolves, that should be relatively simple.”

“Relatively,” Bob said, “Since we’ve already gone over the big four werecreatures: Proper Werewolves like the Alphas, Lycanthropes like the Street Wolves, Hexenwolves like those FBI agents Harry fought, and Loup-garou like Harley MacFinn.  Most are lupine therianthropes.  Of course, there are other animals a therianthrope can turn into.”

“Such as?”

“Any large predator in an environment, really,” Bob said, “Lions, Tigers, Hyenas, Crocodiles, even boars.”

“A werepig?  Really?” Butters stifled a giggle.

Bob sighed, “So few people have seen a true wild boar that they’ve forgotten how dangerous they are.”

“How so?”

“Let me put it this way,” Bob said, “The best way to get rid of a body is to throw it to pigs.  They’ll eat it all, bones included, without a second thought.”

Butters let that settle in his mind, “Does … Marcone know about that?”

“If not him,” Bob said, “I bet his cleaners do.”

Butters shuddered, “Let’s move on.”

“Right,” Bob said, “Anyway, the variety usually comes from spell-based werewolves more than anything else.”

“Does that include Loup-Garou?”

“Absolutely,” Bob said, “But not Hexenwolves.  Though they are often thought of as some version of a similarly sized apex predator by whatever society they encounter, since they are not actually taking a true animal shape, rather a bestial shape for a rage spirit.”

“Makes sense,” Butters said, “With creatures like that, anyone would struggle to identify them.”

“And humans love categorizing things,” Bob said, “Which makes them so fun to work with.”

“Thanks, I guess,” Butters said, “So, any more variation to know about?”

“In Loup-garou,” Bob said, “The form of the monster can also vary beyond species.  Word is that there’s the rare Loup-Garou with a largely human shape.”

“Like Larry Talbot in The Wolf Man ?” Butters said. 

“Exactly,” Bob said, “The whole Talbot family was hit with that one.  It’s why all those times he was hit with silver didn’t work.  It wasn’t inherited.  So the best it could do is keep him unhealed until it was removed from his system.” 

Butters let that sink in, “This is another ‘real person licensed their story for movies thought to be fictional’ things isn’t it?”

“Only occasionally,” Bob said, “With Werewolves, there’s few who think that far ahead, so it’s more reporting local events devoid of context.”

Butters nodded, “Makes sense.  So, is there anything beyond the four?”

“Some rarer creatures, some just variations of the major groups,”  Bob said, “There’s Advanced Lycanthropes, Adifagothropes, Cynocephalic Werewolves, Primal Brutes, and Teratolupus and Teratohominem creatures.”

“Let’s go with the variants of what we know first,” Butters said.  

“Right-O Boss,” Bob said, “Advanced Lycanthropes are similar to normal Lycanthropes, but it’s a true wolf-spirit that infests them rather than a rage spirit.  This makes them rarer overall, though where there’s one, they soon form a pack, and it extends their activity time.”

"How do they form packs?"

"Some of them have spirits potent enough to create others through ritual means," Bob said, "They're usually called 'Alphas' because humans fell in love with that whole Alpha-Beta-Omega thing for Wolves even though it's utter rot."

"It is?"

"You'd think hanging with the Alphas you'd pick that up.  Wolfpacks aren't about dominance, they're about teamwork, and the easiest teams to work with, or at least create, is a family team.  Werewolf packs are families, not individuals struggling for dominance.  That concept screws over a lot of werewolves, blaming the wolf side for purely human failings."

Butters nodded, "And what about the extended activity time?"

“They can call upon the spirit to empower them outside of the full moon,” Bob said, “They also tend to be stronger, faster, and tougher than a regular Lycanthrope.  And when the spirit is called up, they tend to get a little crazier hair, stronger jaws, larger teeth, and claws to flesh out the look.  Some double up by learning the werewolf transformation spell, though they aren't any stronger in wolf shape than the Alphas would be.”

“But they’re still mortal,” Bob said, “Just with a little extra spirit in them.”

“Pretty much, so killing them is no problem,” Bob said, “Though silver’s antimicrobial effect disrupts bio-manipulatory magic as a general rule, so it plays havoc with their ability to self-heal and maintain forms, as we’ve gone over..”

“They can heal themselves?”

“Some can,” Bob said, “it varies from person to person, but nothing too heinous this side of a vampire.”

“Got it, What’s next?”

“There’s another variant of the Lycanthrope,” Bob said, “Adifagathrope.”

“What’s that?”  Butters asked.

“Very bastardized greek for one thing,” Bob said, “They are like a normal Lycanthrope, but the spirit is influencing the person constantly.  They end up being rather hairy, muscular people.”

“What does the spirit do for them? Anything beyond what it does for normal Lycanthropes?”

“Superhuman strength and speed for one thing.  And their recovery,” Bob whistled, “Can put a loup-garou to shame.”

“Something tells me there's more to worry with them than just that,’ Butters said.

“Good instincts,” Bob said, “They have claws.  Usually, just hardened nails, but some have long stabbing blades hidden in their forearms or feet, ranging from 4 to 9 inches in length.”

Butters leaned back in his chair, folded his hands, and stared at Bob, “No.  That can’t be.  You mean--”

“What did you think he was? A mutant?”  Bob let out a ‘pfft’ despite not disturbing the air in the room, “That’s a whole can of worms best save for another day, but suffice to say, the 200-year-old hairy Canadian who escaped Project Metalbeast is one of this variety of Lycanthrope.”

Butters rubbed his forehead, “Yeah, let’s save that for another day.  The next one down the list? The Cynocephalic werewolf.  I guess that’s a shifter who has a lupine head and a humanoid body.”

“Bingo,” Bob said, “As near as anyone can tell this species was created by the Blue Court of Vampires.  Combining footsoldiers and guard dogs into one, using their own vampiric nature as a base.  Because the Blue Court loves dealing with Bloodlines and ‘animal husbandry’ as they put it.’” 

“Yeesh,” Butters shuddered, “That’s really messed up.”

“Vampires usually are.  Thankfully, the werewolves rebelled,” Bob said, “And waged a war against that particular vampire family for some 600 years.”

“Did they win?”

“Sort of,” Bob said, “They got a vampire sympathetic to their plight to take over the house by killing most of the higher ranking members, but they did so with heavy losses to their own side, so now most of the Cynocephali have their own packs away from all the Blue Court machinations.”

“So, what can they do?”

“Strong, fast, regeneration enough to overpower a Blue Court without weapons,” Bob said, “Claws and teeth, too.  This is also one of the species that helped inspire the whole “A werewolf bites you, you turn into a werewolf” thing.  It’s not a 100% sure thing, but if they scratch or claw you deep enough, a person can be turned into one.”

Butters thought a minute and said, “Is there a limiting factor to it?”

“Yes,” Butters said, “Only certain people are susceptible to the transformation.  Because the Blues used a combination of magic and selective breeding, it only strikes people with certain genes, or rather, certain family lines.”

“Sounds like a magical version of recessive gene activation via a retrovirus,” Butters said, “In the very loose sense of the terms, of course.”

“For a loose sense, it’s rather spot on, really,” Bob said, “Since the majority of the transformative agent is kept in their saliva.”

“So you’re more likely to turn from a bite than a claw.”

“Yup!  Hence the common misconceptions with more common varieties,”  Bob paused then added, “Oddly enough the substance is toxic to blue and white court vampires.”

Butters nodded, “I assume they have the silver weakness too?”

“Though it’s general effectiveness,” Bob said, “Same with fire, and the usual massive trauma hits to put down any enhanced supernatural being.  Very few things can escape the chunky salsa rule.”

“I think that about covers them in a broad sense, what about the next one, the Brutes?”

“The Primal Brute,” Bob’s voice was rather less flighty than usual saying it, “One of the most recently developed and most physically potent supernatural beings to develop in the last 200 years. Put Loup-Garou to shame with how powerful they are. Avatars of Gods have been destroyed by a Primal brute.  They are seriously bad news.”  Butters sat with his jaw agape, so Bob continued, “It also is a case where you know some of the details already, but the disinformation campaign has been pretty strong. So you may want to brace yourself for that.”

“Okay?” Butters squeaked. 

“It began in the 1890s. An alchemist tried to, as he put it, ‘purge his sinful urges’, and ended up creating a monster.  It didn’t start out as much at first, but the creature fed on the man’s desires and slowly took over, becoming stronger and stronger.  The creature looked like a neanderthal version of Arnold Schwarzenegger.”

Butters, remembering that the average Neanderthal was maybe twice as muscular as a regular human, and swallowed hard. 

“Driven by his basic impulses, his Id, he went around town, doing what and who he pleased enough that his artificially induced ‘Loup Garou’ nature passed along with him. Rumour has it his body was incinerated in 1899, but since no inherited silver was used, it didn’t put him down for very long.  Given he did it in service to the nation of Great Britain, they named a park after him.”

“Hyde,” Butters said, “You mean Mr. Hyde!”

“Bingo,” Bob said, “Mr. Hyde. The first Primal Brute. From him comes two lines of creatures.  Having subsumed the alchemist Henry Jekyll, he used the man’s skills to re-create his formula, but not in an exact way.  He made it so he could make ‘lesser versions’ of himself to sell as a steroid, or as a street drug.  I believe it’s called Hyde-25 or MGH or something. The other lineage is a bit more literal.”

“Given Hyde’s hedonism, why aren’t we drowning in Primal Brutes by now?” Butters asked.

“The transformation into a primal brute requires a trigger,” Bob answered, “Exposure to certain energies, magics, and the like. Otherwise, it lays dormant.”

“So, they are ticking time bombs running around that could go nuts at any moment?”

“Go nuts and rip a tank in half,” Bob corrected. 

“Yikes,” Butters said, “How many are there?” 

“Active?” Bob thought for a moment and added, “A dozen at most. Oddly, most of the currently surviving ones are much better tempered and more powerful than their progenitor.”

“Probably a link there,” Butters said. He remained quiet for a moment then added, “Would I,” Butters inhaled to brace himself before asking, “be familiar with any of them.”

“Easily,” Bob said, “They fall under the label of ‘Hulk’ most of the time, and ‘Things’ most of the other times.”

Butters closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, “I don’t think I’m ready to hear the details on that one.” 

Bob sighed, “Okay, we’ll put in a pin in that one too.  Lot of stuff we'll have to go back to talk about.  Anyway, more werewolves.  But in this case, not really. Teratolupus and Teratohominins simply describe different shapes of the same being.  One quadrupedal, the other bipedal, as the names suggest.  Both are demonic beings that infect humans in order to reproduce, sort of like a spiritual version of a parasitoid wasp.  When they finish gestation, they transform the host spiritually into a new being that can take up a monstrous shape that could be called ‘wolf-ish’ if you squint really hard. Being never-never spirits in physical form, silver can be an effective method of killing them, but massive trauma and fire are far more effective in the long term.  They also tend to react badly to holy objects.”

“Do they have to do anything special to infect a person?” Butters asked. 

“Maul them,” Bob said, “Usually pretty badly, but it varies since it’s not one species, but a group of them.  Even the frequency of transformation is hard to pin down given the variety displayed.  Some can transform at will, others are stuck in the lunar cycle, the days around it, or some only transform once in their life and are stuck in a monstrous form from there out.”

Butters thought for a moment, “So, they are sort of a Thylacine of werewolves.  Similar ideas, but completely different family's of origin.  And because they are so similar superficially, they are part of the reason the more common lore around them is so muddled.”

“Bingo,” Bob said, “And that about covers it. Unless you want me to go into a bit more detail about Hyde and his progeny.”

“Are any of them near Chicago?”

Bob hummed a moment, “Nearest ones are in the Southwest, with a few along the east coast.”

“Oh good,” Butters said.

“Still,” Bob chirped, “It’s best to run if you see one. Or at least, don’t make them mad.”

Butters gave Bob a look, “Ha. Ha.” 

Chapter Text

“What do you mean, ‘Things Like Bigfoot?’” Bob said, his lights scanning the room. 

“I mean,” Butters said, “More mortal species that have more supernatural oomph than the average human does. Bigfoot and his company have a lot of juice to them according to Dresden but are still basically mortal beings.  And I was wondering if that was a one-off case, or if there were other Supernatural-yet-mortal beings out there.”

Bob’s eye lights stared into Butters for a moment before answering, “I can think of a few, well, at least that have any chance of coming by Chicago.  They aren’t as common as the forest people, but enough of them exist to leave an impact.”

Butters nodded and leaned into his chair as Bob began, “Discounting scions, there are two major examples of mortal-but-not-mortal beings besides the forest people.  Gargoyles and Slayers.”

“Gargoyles I’ve at least heard about,” Butters said, “What’s a Slayer?"

Bob cleared his voice and took on a British accent, “In every generation, there is a Chosen One.  She alone will fight the vampires, the demons, and the forces of darkness.  She is the Slayer,” Bob then giggled, “It always sounds so portentous.  It needs the accent to truly make it work.”

“That’s nice and all,” Butters said, “But can you elaborate a little?”

“You remember the Venatori Umbrorum?”

Butters nodded, “Old school occultist types who aided the white council in the war with logistics and research.”

“They also had a weapon at their disposal, a living one.  The true Venator of the Ventatori,” Bob said, “Or, rather, the Venetrix, since they are all female.  Vampire Slayers were apparently created by a group of potent sorcerers ages ago, like pre-Babylon ancient, and bound a predatory guardian spirit to a young woman and creating a lineage of said women that could serve to protect humanity from various supernatural predators.”

“So, what can they do?  What do they look like.”

“Slayers,” Bob said wistfully, “Are wonderful.  They all look like pretty young girls.  Mostly because most are.  They usually awaken their gifts between 15 and 17 years of age. Those that get to legal age are real knockouts. Why I can tell you stories--”

“I get the picture,” Butters grumbled, “Can we move on?"

“Fine, but you’re really missing out,” Bob huffed, “Vampire Slayers, as the name suggests, were created to fight vampires and other demons.  So, they can fight on par with many of them.  A Black Court Master is stronger, as are a few other species, at least early on, but few things are as fast and strong as a Slayer.  Now, their durability is fascinating as it manifests not in armor or power centers that need to be destroyed, but as mystical density.”

“How’s that work?”

“Using magic to increase the density of a subject without increasing weight,” Bob chirped. 

“That’s,” Butters said, “Is certainly one way to do it.  So, they bleed when cut or shot, but they don’t go in as deep as they would with a normal person.”

“A lot of what the Slayer does is lull an opponent into a false sense of security,” Bob said, “So even bleeding, they can keep fighting with little problem.  Throw in healing that is on par with a decently fed vampire, and unlike a vampire, they can’t drain their fuel tank doing so.”

“But the magical cost for it,” Butters said, “Where is the energy coming from?”

“From Sineya,” Bob said, “The original Slayer.  The spell they used was so potent, it made a new goddess. She connects to the minds of all Slayers, subconsciously, giving them the skills and the experiences of all past Slayers in dreams. Since it’s subconscious, it’s not like a direct download, but it does allow for muscle memory to transfer more easily.”

Butters nodded, “So learning how to fight is like getting back on a bike for anyone else.”

“Bingo,” Bob said, “She also grants them a few other boons. Aside from instinctive knowledge, she can grant them warnings of impending calamities through the dreams, as vague as they can be, they at least get a heads up.  And they certain heightened supernatural senses.”

Butters nodded, remembering the talk they had on various kinds of supernatural senses almost went an hour-long before they got to ‘C’.  “What can they sense?”

“While the gift appears to vary from Slayer to Slayer, they can sense the presence of a Vampire and can tell better than anyone else if a being is a vampire or not.  Even the White Court can’t always fool a Slayer.  They also have a sense for, well, danger.”

“Danger how?”

“They can sense when they are being attacked,” Bob said, “They know they are being attacked and can snap to defend themselves pretty easily. Even foes invisible to them can be caught off guard by this little trick.”

“So, like Spider-Man?”

“And about as reliable,” Bob said.  Butters was at first surprised, but then remembered that he had a subscription to Marvel Unlimited, which had the entire Spider-Man catalog up. Of course, Butters then remembered that, according to Bob, Spider-Man was also a real person, but he decided not to go down that road today. “So, while they can be caught off guard, it’s not a guarantee.”

“Still, neat trick,” Butters said, “But how do they deal with demons?  I mean, being super strong does help, but its spirit can always escape into the never-never and try again later."

“Not always true with Slayers,” Bob said, “When they slay something, they manage to take a good chunk out of its spirit as well.  Part of Sineya’s gifts.   Some spirits can survive having a chunk taken out of them, but few can put up much of a fight for a while after a slaying.”

Butters nodded, “That’s pretty potent. But, she's the Chosen One, right?  I mean, it’s interesting and all, but--”

“It was, until over half a decade ago, there was only one.  Now, it's all been upended.  This one Slayer, Buffy Summers,” 

“Buffy?”

“Yes, really.  She had her witch bestie, um, Willow Rosenberg, remember her?”

Butters nodded, “The Warlock that Agatha Harkness took under her wing.  Harry was on edge about that one.”

“Bingo,” Bob said, “And this is why.  Willow Rosenberg used an Artifact, the Slayer’s Scythe, to change the very rules of magic around the Slayer.  She rewrote reality and changed the world.”

Butters whistled. “Now I see why Harry was worried.”

“And she did that when she was 23.”

Butters found himself unable to say anything. 

“Harry is one of the strongest in his generation,” Butters said, “But she’s in a league above.”

“And she almost went Warlock.”

“These days, between the Slayer Army and other connection, she is rather… off-limits to the Council.  Only about a dozen sorcerers who fit that category.”

“Who else?”

“Pardon?”

“Who else is on that list?”

“Not to get off-topic,”

“Just, quickly.”

“Stephen Strange, Rachel Roth, Nathan Springfield, Ororo Munroe, Wanda Maximoff and her son William, Nico Minoru, Illyanna Rasputin--”

“Isn’t she one of the Wardens?”

“No, that’s her goddaughter,” Bob said, “And also John Constantine, though that’s less about power, and more about him being a total ass.”

“Okay, back to Slayers,” Butters said, “Now she changed the rules, what happened?”

“Now, there’s about two thousand of them from what I’m hearing.  There’s been a few factions of them, anarchists, wanna-be aristocrats, warlords, but most of those have been dealt with.  Today, most have broken off from the Venatori Umbrorum and formed their own faction.  They call it Deep Scan Securities, but really, it’s an outfit for them to be hired out as bodyguards and supernatural enforcers while they do what they do best.  Hunt down supernatural predators and slay ‘em.”

“Sounds like good allies,” Butter said. 

“They certainly can be.”

“Think maybe the Paranetters can hire a few of them for help?”

Bob considered it, “Possible, but they are in high demand.  Only about a thousand work for Deepscan, the rest either do their own thing or are part of competing factions.  Still, worth a shot I suppose.”

Butters wrote down a note.

“What about the Gargoyles?”

“They’re the scions of dragons,” Bob said, “By day, they are stone, but at night, they come to life.  They can fly, though they need some help taking off--”

“Hence the perching.”

“Hence the perching.  They are stronger, have sharp claws that can punch through stone and steel alike, and their skin is like chainmail armor.”

“Yowzers,” Butters said, “That’s a potent being.”

“There’s not many of them these days, and it’s a rather sad story.”

“Really? How?”

“Gargoyles are protectors,” Bob said, “They are all about protecting certain locations. They instinctively have to protect something.  Usually, it’s a building, but it often extends to an entire city.  They protect it from outside threats, criminals, anything that’s a threat. But, well, humans don’t have a good track record of trust around them.”

“How so?”  

“Their skin may be like chainmail, but by day, they are solid stone statues.  Give a man 12 hours, a hammer, and a chisel, and he can kill a lot of Gargoyles by just chipping off their heads.”

“Yikes,” Butters said, “That’s pretty bad.”

“Made worse because gargoyles can literally inspire fear, not just because they can be 7ft tall and make their eyes glow.  It’s useful for scaring people off, but sometimes they come back with hammers.”

“And all they want to do is protect something?”

“And because they look like, well, Gargoyles, people hate and fear them.”

“How many are there these days?”

“Last count?  There are about half a dozen clans left, ranging in size from 5 to 200.  One in Guatemala, One in Japan.  Korea, New York, Loch Ness, China, Greece, and New Jersey.  There used to be one here in Chicago, but it consisted of only 2 remaining Gargoyles, and word is they were killed by one of the detectives in Special Investigations.”

“Was it Nick O’Malley?”

“It was Nick O’Malley.  From what Special Investigations turned up after his death, it turns out he was a Quarryman.  One of those “All Supernatural Beings Should Die” jerks.”

“He did not hide that fact as well as he thought,” Butters said, “Still, shame what happened to him.”

“Graboids are nasty things,” Bod said. 

“I still can’t believe that’s the official name for them now,” Butters said, “You’d think the Supernatural Community would have, like, something more poetic for them.”

“You mean like Impundulu? Or Dirt Dragons?”

Butters thought for a moment then said, “Graboids will do, I guess.  What else is there?”

“Well, there are a few other notable species and groups,” Bob said, “Electronic Spirits are getting more common.”

“Electronic Spirits?”

“They are sort of like me,” Bob said, “Spirits of information, but more tied to electricity and computers than I am.  A lot of them like being called ‘Data Thought Entities.’  Most of them are simple enough, possessing machines or robotic bodies and making it their own for the physical world.  The most powerful of these can make ectoplasmic bodies for themselves that are really quite potent. There was a big influx of them around 2002.  And rumor has it some of them come from outer space.”

“Outer space?”

“Well, it’s easier to travel between planets when you’re basically immortal and can travel at the speed of light.”

Butters nodded, “When you’re right, you’re right.  But, about that machine possession, are we talking about Killdozer ?”

“And Johnny Five.  Possibly Atomic Robo, but no one’s been able to confirm it.”

“Understandable,” Butters said, “What else?”

“Hrm,” Bob muttered, “Damned Souls, Grimm,  Gorgons, Corvid Revenants, Chronicle Immortals, and Slashers are probably the most common after those ‘round Chicago.”

“That’s quite a bit,” Butter said, “Can we get a quick summary for those?”

Bob sighed, “Okay, fine.  We can go into detail later.  Damned Souls are those, by hook, crook, or leash, have gotten out of hell.  They take a bit of it with them as they go.  Very hard to kill, but aside from spells designed to affect souls, destroying the eyes will shatter their temporary body and send them right packing back to hell.”

“How often do, uh, people escape from hell?”

“More often than you might think,” Bob said, “Though a good quarter of them are out on a hell lord’s leash either doing their bidding or hunting down the actual escapees.  Honestly, they’re all nasty customers.”

“Gee, I wouldn’t have guessed.”

“Moving on, the Chronicle Immortals, are, well, no one is quite sure what they are,” Bob said, “What we do know is they’ve been around for about, oh, five thousand years or so.  No one is sure where they come from, but as near as the Venatori Umbrorum are concerned, they’re a bit of a mess.”

“How’s that?”

“Well, they tend to spend a lot of time running around killing each other for beings who are basically immortal.”

“And they can do this by...?”

“Chop the head off one of them and they drop.  But an interesting thing happens.  When they die, and there’s another Chronicle Immortal nearby, their power and memories transfer to the survivor.”

“Wait a second,” Butters said, “That’s Highlander !”

“Pretty much,” Bob said, “Remember, some folks make a stipend from selling their stories like this.”

“So, they’re called Chronicle Immortals because--”

“As near as anyone can figure they are some method nor really of accumulating power, but of recording events. Something out there wants to know what life on earth was like in a first-hand way. Since there have been “Gatherings” of Immortals every hundred years or so.  A bunch die or disappear, so the Venatori Umbrorum, who make a habit of keeping an eye on them, assumes that they are being harvested by some being seeking to store human knowledge and experience.”

Butters sighed, “That’s rather depressing.”

“The other option is a bit worse.  Since they share many similarities with the immortality granted by the Grand Panacea, it could be a human who set this whole thing up just to gain more knowledge.  For all we know, they're long dead and they keep going regardless."

"Definitely worse," Butters sighed, "Okay, next?"

“Gorgons are what you might expect, reptilian skin, snake hair, and the like.  They’re very malleable.  Some have wings, some have boar-like tusks, and others are Miso-fidi , all snake from the hips down.” Bob said, “Most of them live with Amazons far in the never-never, but are more likely to interact with the outside world despite the fear they inspire.”

“The whole turn-to-stone with a gaze thing?” 

“Funny story, that’s a super-rare ability among them,” Bob said, “And it’s not about if you look at them, it’s about if they look at you.”

“Huh?”

“Less Harryhausen, more Scott Summers.”

Butters nodded, “Eye-lasers that turn flesh to stone.”

“The rest is just a fiction to make people who come after them far more vulnerable.”

Butters nodded, “Neat trick.”

“Corvid Revenants are the recently deceased, usually someone who was unjustly murdered and who was in love, animated by a crow spirit to get revenge on those who killed them.  They’re basically unstoppable, as long as they stick to their task.  Should they try to do anything other than getting revenge, they are as mortal as a human.”

Butters sighed, “Sad story.”

“All stories of injustice are like that,” Bob said, “Take Slashers, for instance, they’re sort of the evil opposite of a Corvid Revenant.”

“Slasher?”

“There’s been quite a few of them.  Big-name killers too. The Crystal Lake Killer, The Lunchlady, Acid Angel,  Uncle Sam, Ms. America, the Springwood Slasher, you know, serial killers with body counts in the tens to low hundreds.” 

“And they’re all something more than a regular human monster?” Butters frowned.

“Oh, no, they were monsters before they died.  They died and then became worse.  Well, some of them.  Supposedly, there’s a way to make humans into Slashers, but the information is scant on that.  Anyway, they have such anger and rage in them, hatred for the world, that they refuse to stay dead.  So, they come back as super-powerful zombies.  Necromancer level zombies.”

Butters shuddered, a chill running down his spine at the mere mention of them.  “Just how angry they are?”

“It makes me glad I don’t really have emotions,” Bob said, “On the plus side, there’s at least one relatively good slasher out there.”

“Really?”

“Well, good is a relative term. The Toxic Avenger.”

“Wait, he’s real?”

“New Jersey is a weird place, Butters.  Got its own Hellmouth, a Gargoyle nest, and worse.”

“Like Toxie?”

“I was going to say Camp Crystal Lake, but Toxie works too.” Bob said, “There are even rumors of a failed clone of Thomas Eddison with the head of a Cockatiel kidnapping people in Jersey City.”

“Now that’s just silly.”

“Isn’t life?”

Butters thought for a moment before answering. “Fair point.  And what about the Grimm?"

"An attempt by Alchemists in dark ages Germany to make a Slayer-Bloodline.  Worked out better than most, but not as potent in many respects.  Little less quick, detection isn't as strong, no shared dreamscape.  But on the plus side, their blood is toxic to most supernatural beings.  Rumor is, it can even 'cure' some supernatural infections and possessions."

Butters thought, "Did Harry know about--?"

"Yeah, but no one knows the dosage, survival rate is 50/50, and you'd probably kill the Grimm to do it."

"Oh," Butters said, "That's not so great."

"Which is why he refused to do it."

Butters nodded.  

"Finding a Grimm willing do to donate blood on the regular to even try it experimentally is something Harry once explored, but couldn't find one either."

"So, already barked up this tree?"

"Very barked."

Chapter Text

“We’ve gone over some of the white council already, do you really want to know more?”

Butters nodded, “Lay it out for me.”

“Well, we’ve covered the major political players and most of the Wardens.  Only a few left to really talk about.  Well, that and the Coven.”

“The Coven?”

“Powerful sorcerers who could be on the council if they wanted to be, but aren’t even aligned with the White Council.”

“How could they do that?”

“Political connections and raw power,” Bob said, “Scary bunch.”

“Let’s round out the wizards, then move onto the Coven.”

“Okay,” Bob said, “Let’s start on the lighter side of things.  Thomas Nightingale, Warden and Chief Inspector in the London police department.  One apprentice, Peter Grant, another London constable.  Nightingale is one of the more potent wizards in England, and because he loves it so much, he’s very good at it.

“He has less power than Harry or Morgan,” Bob said, “But far more refinement.  Letting him do powerful fire blasts with less wasted energy.  He can’t keep it up as long as they can, so he makes sure he doesn’t need to.”

Butters nodded, “Who else?”

“Well, that’s where it gets sticky by comparison,”  Bob said,  “William Gravel is, how to put this, a very scary fellow.”

“How so?”

“Gravel is probably next in line to be the Blackstaff, the big hit-wizard,”  Bob said, “He’s former S.A.S. and has attuned his magic to match.  Honestly? After the Merlin and the Blackstaff, he’s probably the most dangerous wizard on the planet.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Remember the first law of magic?”

“Thou shalt not kill with magic,” Butters said, “Yeah.”

“What he does is a very, very gray reading of that law,” Bob said, “He enchants his guns.”

“Magic guns?"

“Magic Bullets too. Svartalf made, to not break down under the heavy magic use,” Bob said, "It allows him to fire bullets that never miss their target.  They turn corners, climb stairs, that whole deal.”

“That’s pretty nasty,” Butters said.

“Nastier is the rumors around him,” Bob said.  “While the Blackstaff is the official hit-wizard of the council.  Word is that Gravel is the internal affairs assassin for the council.”

“Yikes.”

“The rumor is that to assassinate several corrupt councilmembers from the last Wizard Civil War back in the 90s, he performed a sanctum invocation on the whole of London, and used it to open a way to the never-never and throw them into a very hellish place."

“London is in a place like that?”

“Parts of it,” Bob said, “He just set a location to be sympathetic to that nasty place, lured them there, and used the power boost from a Sanctum spell to open the way and catch them all off guard.  Half a dozen powerful wizards undone by one of the weakest.”

“Weakest?”

“Put it this way,” Bob said, “When Harry throws a fireball, it can easily engulf a vampire completely.  When Gravel uses a fireball on one, he melts the face of the target with little collateral damage.”

Butters shuddered, “Definitely don’t want to meet him in a dark alley. Who’s next?”

“Doctor Vincent Morrow. He’s an occult pathologist, specializing in supernatural diseases and infections.”

Butters ears perked up, “Oh?"

“Smart guy too,” Bob said, “He figured out that some forms of demonic possession are part of some demon’s life cycle, and by treating it as a parasitic infection, he can more efficiently cure the patient.”

“Parasitic how?”

“Parasitoid to be specific,” Bob said, “The larval demons using a human host as an incubator.”

Butters rubbed his chin, “I think I’d like to talk to this guy, Doctor to Doctor.”

“I should warn you, he’s a bit weird,” Bob said, “But most wizards are I suppose.  He’s also on the west coast most of the time, so you may have to settle for being pen-pals”

“I can live with that,” Butters nodded, “Who else we got?”

“The last two of real not are the two Wunderkind, Springfield and Potter.”

“Wait, Potter, as in--”

“Yup,” Bob said, “The ‘Famous Harry Potter,’  You have no idea how many prank-calls Harry got about being a Wizard named Harry.”

“But, the books are so … different from what we know about Wizards,” Butters said, “Is that an author difference thing?”

“Oh yeah,” Bob said, “Even Potter isn’t too happy with the whole thing.  Among many reasons he isn’t happy with the book deal he took was how they handled the Laws of Magic.   Cut the author off completely a little while back because of it.”

“Which explains the whole “Cursed Child” thing?”

“Which explains the whole “Cursed Child” thing. And let’s not even start on the whole ‘Fantastic Beasts” trip.”

“I’d be sad if he probably wasn’t making a lot of money off it,” Butters said. 

“Only upside of the deal according to him,”

“So what’s he doing these days?”

“Training Wardens and doing other young wizard training services where he can,” Bob said, “He’s the one who asked our Harry to teach the Wardens investigations.”

“Oh,” Butters said, “That must have been odd.”

“That’s a tale in and of itself, really.  But there’s one more wizard to go through before we talk about the Coven.” 

“One thing at a time, eh?”

“Best way to do things for mortals,” Butters would later swear Bob smirked somehow when he said this. 

“The last one to talk about is Nathan Springfield.  You know how Harry is one of the strongest wizards of his generation?”

Butters nodded.

“Well,” Bob said, “Springfield is the strongest wizard of the next generation. Became a full functioning wizard at 10 years old, and I don’t mean just mastering the basics.  He was a full-fledged combat wizard by then.”

“At 10?!”

“Real wunderkind,” Bob said, “And the worst part about it is he’s extremely kind and considerate, so it’s really hard to hate the little snot.”  

“Wait, is he a recent graduate?”  

“No, he graduated a few years after Harry got his own agency up and running,” Bob said, “And he really lives up to that Wunderkind moniker, though he’s almost as much of a loose cannon as Harry.”

“How so?” 

“Well, like many magical family things, it’s rather complicated, The short of it is, his dad had a lot of enemies, he hid out as an English professor at a Japanese girls-middle school, it was on a lay line convergence spot so that just made things worse for everyone.  A year later, his class has produced a dozen high-grade mystical warriors and they help resolve an anchored spot of the NeverNever that was deteriorating with disastrous consequences.”

Butters thought for a moment before asking “You’re jealous, aren’t you?”

“The kid’s familiar sends me messages every now and then about how his master is setting up a full battle harem just to rub it in my face.”

“But he’s 10!”

“16 now.”

“And they were--”

“From their perspective, it was a long term investment,” Bob said, “There’s even a Japanese folktale about it.  Hikari Gengi --”

“That’s terrible!”

“What’s terrible is the kid still hasn’t acted on it!” Bob sighed, “He’s got world-class athletes and martial artists, potent sorceresses, uber-rich heiresses, and mixes of those three, all super hot, and all throwing themselves at him--but he’s too modest, polite, and OBLIVIOUS to really DO anything about it!  It’s the only way I’ve been able to stop that damn ermine’s letters from getting to me.”

Butters decided it was best to move on before he learned things he’d need to bleach his brain over.  “So, what about the Coven?”

“Ah the Coven,” Bob said, “Probably the only real rival to the White Council in terms of their power and influence, and are largely protected from the White Council by those same elements.  It consists of several key members and their hangers-on, most of them tied to Agatha Harkness, who is possibly a litmus test for just how old a Sorcerer can get.  Most peg her at being about 500 years old, but some claim she was there at the fall of Atlantis.”

“Atlantis was real?”

“Atlantis was the first global super-power, but that’s a lesson in and of itself.” Bob said, “Now, Agatha is still technically a part of the White Council, and specialized in reforming Warlocks with a higher success rate than anyone else.”

“How good was she?”

“98% with no relapses,” Bob said, “And it was with some potent sorcerers too. A little while after Rosenberg, Agatha and the Merlin had a falling out and she took her top students, and their students, and formed the Coven for the express purpose of reforming those who have succumbed to darkness.”

Butters nodded, “So, who is in the Coven?” 

“About a hundred sorcerers, many of which are tied to very powerful groups.”

“Such as?”

“Rachel Roth, the Raven,” Bob Said, “Rumor has it she’s the scion of the First of the Fallen, which tells you exactly what kind of potency and potential for danger we’re dealing with.”

“Why does that name sound familiar?”

“But probably the most potent are the ones with political connections.  Wanda Maximoff may be able to control probability, but it’s the Queen of Wakanda that really makes them scary.  That and with Willow Rosenberg being a member they have an army of a thousand Vampire Slayers they can call in for backup.”

Butters grabbed the sides of his head, “Oh dear God.”

“Yeah, now it’s clicking.”

“Is Doctor Strange or Doctor Fate in this group too?”

Bob let out a small jet of air from his non-existent lips, or the sound of it, “Please, Strange usually does his own thing. Though rumor has it that Rachel Roth has the Helmet of Fate these days.”

“Anyone else of note in the Coven?”

“If by ‘Of Note’ you mean “Has signed a deal with a comic company to use their likeness and sometimes provide stories for them, there’s about a dozen more: Illyana Rasputin, Zatana Zatara, Manitou Dawn, Nico Minoru, Elizabeth Twoyoungmen, Lori Zecklin, Traci Thirteen--”

Butters raised a hand, motioning for Bob to stop, “I think I only recognized two of those names.  I think that covers it pretty well in terms of who’s who.”

“Whatever you say, boss.”

“I’m just not ready to dive into comic books-as-reality yet.”

“Hard to deal with, isn’t it?”

“Just a bit.”

Chapter Text

“So, you want to know about demons, eh?” Bob said.

“It’s just, I’ve fought so many, it’s getting a bit confusing,” Butters sighed, “Can I get like an overview, or guide, or something?”

“Sure,” Bob said, “It is a really complex topic, but I think I can give you a brief rundown of what’s what.

“Now, what are commonly referred to as “Demons” actually encompass a lot of different negative or dangerous magical or spiritual beings across the Nevernever and beyond. The big groups of them are Fiends, Devils, Fallen, Old One Scions, Outsider Minions, the Damned, Yougai and Youkai, Djinn, and Rakshasa.”

“Wow, 10 different varieties,” Butters whistled. 

“That’s just the most common and diverse overarching types, there’s many more where those came from,” Bob said. 

Butters huffed. 

“Let's start with things that were once humans. The Damned are what you expect, humans who died, went to hell or some similar nasty place and through hook, crook, or lease, get back into the mortal realm to cause chaos and destruction. There’s spiritual versions, largely corporeal versions, and true Hellspawn.” 

“True Hellspawn?”

“Imagine making a deal with the devil when you’re already in hell,” Bob said, “Getting something in return for thousands of years of service.  As you can imagine, many hell-bound denizens would jump at the opportunity no matter how bad the terms were.”

“Nasty customers?” 

“As bad as the Denarians,” Bob said, “Or maybe worse.  Because some try to fight against their fate, but inevitably, the devil gets his due.”

“Yikes,” Butters winced.  

“Worse, the beings who make such deals like to take the more, shall we say, self-righteous or ‘I did what I had to do’ types to sweeten the suffering.”

“Makes me feel kind of bad for them, despite ya know, being bad enough for hell and all that.”

“I don’t,” Bob said, “but I’m not a Knight of the Cross.”

“Alright, what else?”

“Devils.  There are two main varieties of those.  One, the Hellborn or Lesser Devil, is pretty easy to spot because, well, they look like devils.  Red skin, horns, tail.  Some have cloven feet or wings, but you get the idea.  They’re pretty potent.  If one finds a way to the mortal world, killing them will just send them back to lick their wounds.”

“And if you kill them in their realm?”

“Same idea, but it takes a little longer,” Bob said, “Not like D&D at all.”

“Nope.”

“The other type of Devil is a bit harder to parse because of how it treats possession.”

“Okay?”

“You’re familiar with the exorcist type of possession,” Bob said, “Many spirits are capable of that, but true Devils are not spirits.  So, instead, their form of possession is closer to telefragging .”

Butters eyes went wide, "I haven't heard that since back when I was playing Doom in College, where'd you pick it up."

"You did give me the internet."

Butter sighed lightly, "Fair point."

"Anyway," Bob continued, “They can teleport themselves into most materials and take aspects of that mass into themselves.  When they do it to people, it allows them to take a human form.  As such, identifying a devil is extremely difficult.  They are closer to Denarians physically, but lack the angelic oomph of the fallen.”

Butters rubbed his head, “I’d say that’d make me relieved, but that’s still a very nasty.  Especially with the telefrag thing.  I mean, at any time, they can just--”

“Thankfully, no,” Bob said, “There are limits. Costs them a lot of energy for one thing, partly based on density as well so thick walls can offer more protection, and for another, humans have a natural defense against them.”

“Oh?”

“The rational mind,” Bob said, “For some reason, as long as a person keeps their wits about them, it acts as a threshold barrier to the teleporting demon. A home’s threshold doubly so.  They need a person to be out in the open and either terrified, drugged or pleasured to the point where their mind goes ‘bzzz’ and they just move in, take over the person’s mass and mind while kicking the soul to the curb.  Even then, there’s a risk with humans.”

“I kind of figured,” Butters said, “A soul being what it is, I expect it’s not so easily tossed aside.”

“Pretty much,” Bob said, “Some residue of the person remains in the demon, which can skew things rather darkly.  However, with a truly strong, stubborn, and righteous soul, the devil gets itself obliterated and the human instead inherits the devil’s powers.”

Butters noticed Bob trail off a little, “And…”

“And some of their impulses to violence,” Bob said, “Such people are called Devilmen.  And they can be potent allies if you can find one.”

“Provided you can tell the difference,” Butters muttered.

“I’m sure you’ll figure that out on your own, oh Holy Knight,” Bob’s voice sang a little at the end.  Butters resisted the urge to throw something at him.

“Okay, go on,” Butters said. 

“The Fallen, you know pretty well,” Bob said, “But there are other fallen beside the denarians.  They’re big guys.  Lesser angels can fall and cause problems.  They can be like regular demons, but just have more juice to construct their forms, as well as hellfire.  So, tough, but not unreasonable to handle.

“After that, it’s the classic demon, a spirit of the Nevernerver without fae affiliations.  This is what you’ve mostly encountered, but there is another type of classic demon you’ve bumped into.”

“Oh?”

“The Scions of the Old Ones.”

“Old Ones, like Lovecraft?”

“Sort of,” Bob said, “The Old Ones are a mix of ancient and powerful demons, alien entities taking a nap on earth, and sometimes it gets applied to the actual Outsiders, but the first two are what we want to focus on.  Outsiders are a whole other thing.”

Butters shuddered, “I remember.”

“Anyway, the Old Ones have, through many varied means, made several species of demons from human starting points.  So most have a human, or animal, base frame, but with all sorts of weirdness thrown on top of it,” Bob said. 

Butters rubbed his chin, “Sort of like how Orcs were made by Morgoth in The Silmarillion .”

“That’s a perfect example,” Bob said, “Because that’s how we have Hobgoblins today.”

Butters blinked, “What?  No.  No way.”

“The Red Book of Westmarch is a real text,” Bob said, “Tolkein didn’t make things up, he just made it palatable to a modern audience.  You really should look over his translation of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight .  Best modern English version I’ve heard.”

“So, the whole Lord of the Rings --” 

“Real.”

“When did it--”

“Otherwise prehistoric,” Bob said, “Basically, humanity has been blasted into the stone age at least once before now.  This all happened during the ice ages, so a lot of the evidence for it was crushed and flooded out.”

Butters nodded, “That makes some sense…”

“Underwater archeology is very hard,” Bob said, “Now, moving on. There’s a lot of these hybrid demons out there.  Fleshy like scions or faeries depending on how much ‘human’ is in the mix.”

“Got any other examples?”

“Besides Orcs?” Bob said with a spark in his voice. 

“Besides Orcs,” Butters sighed. 

Bob thought for a moment before he started, “Deep Ones, Children of Ithaqua, Virgoris of Oden’Tal, Deathwok and Miquot clans, Mok’Tagar, Vengeance Demons, Wan-Shang-Dholes, some types of Vampires, Tarkatans, and Serpent men are probably the most commonly known.”

“Wait,” Bob said, “Serpent Men?”

“I know what you’re thinking,” Bob said, “But those antisemitic conspiracy theorists rambling about the Lizard People are full of it.  Real Serpent Men, most call themselves Terrans, do cast illusions to hide among people, but none has tried to rule the world since the stone ages. The 20th century saw them be more direct in any actions against humans.”

“So, they do want to do the whole ‘take over the world,” Butters nodded. 

“More like, they’re angry at humans for taking over and want their 300 million-year-old glory days back,” Bob made a buzzing sound with non-existent lips, “But it hasn't happened yet, and it’s unlikely to happen anytime soon.  The last big push was in the 1980s, and that was beaten back with direct military force.”

Butters blinked, “Huh?”

Butters felt Bob smile even though he was a skull, “I’m sure you’re familiar with that one, even if you didn’t recognize it at the time.”

“I’m not sure I do,” Butters said. 

“Oh, come on,” Bob rolled his eyes, “Do I have to spell it out for you?”

“I’m still getting over the whole “anti-semites blamed something else on my people that they aren’t even remotely responsible for’ thing, give me a break,” Butters sighed. 

“Oh, alright,” Bob said, “Remember Hydra--wait, no.  Ever hear of Cobra?”

Butter’s eyes went wide and spoke with a gasp, “No!” 

“Go JOE!” Bob tittered. 

Butters began to say something, thought better of it, then said, “I was going to complain about people making a cartoon and toy-line of that, but it was the 80s, they made a toy-line and cartoon out of Rambo .”

Butters waited a moment.

“He’s not real,” Bob said, “Least as far as I know.  Not really my area, ya know?”

“Okay,  I just wanted to be sure something was fictional,” Butters sighed, then clapped his hands together, “Alright, back on track.”

“Right, next off are the Asiatic demons, the Yougai,” Bob said, “Which may as well be called demon animals.  They are animals that, through magical exposure or living in the Nevernever, or other weirdness.  They start as just big animals, but the more magic they gain, the more human they become.  You haven’t met any yet, but a lot of classic Asian monsters fall in this category.  Foxes, Tigers, Tanuki, and of course Monkeys, all have done this.”

Butters nodded, “Anything to note about them?”

“Mostly that they are in truth animals,” Bob said, “So, morally, they are all over the place. It’s just their instincts that can get them in trouble.”

“So, some are good, some are bad, it all depends,” Butters nodded again. 

“One’s even a Buddha,” Bob said.

“Really?”

“You mean you’ve never heard of the Handsome Monkey King?”

Butters shrugged.

“Son Wukong?” Bob waited for recognition, but none came, “... Son Goku?”

“Wait, Dragon Ball?”

“No,” Bob said, “He’s just named after the Monkey King,  But that gives you an idea of what a Yougai Buddha can be capable of when he cares to.  Buddha’s don’t by and large, but sometimes they do.”

“To help out?” Butters asked.

“Usually,” Bob said, “But Buddha’s tend to eschew reality as a whole for higher concerns.  It’s a thing.  Anyway, Djinn are up next.  Not exactly hellish, but they can be.”

“Right,” Butters said, “Genie, like in Aladdin .”

“That’s actually a good representation of them,” Bob said.

“Wait, really?”

“The most powerful of them, anyway,” Bobs said, “A Marid, the Blue Djinn, are extremely powerful.  Djinn are beings of raw magical energy, more so than any other being. So, they have a lot of versatility.  Which is why they’re enslaved so regularly.”

Butters thought for a moment, “The whole lamp thing.”

“Lamps, “ Bob agreed, “Rings, Jars, all sorts of things.  Summoners focus on the most powerful of them, so they can do the most for their ‘masters’, but even weak djinn can be enslaved if things go wrong for them.  Builds animosity with humans.”

“That’d do it,” Bob said, “Anything else I should know about them?”

“Just say ‘God’ and they’ll flinch,” Bob said, “There’s a litany of other weaknesses like salt, tar, and iron, but the easiest is getting them to flinch when you say a name of God with intent.”

“That’s… easy,” a small smile crossed his face, “What's after that? 

“There’s Rakshasha of course, but they don’t travel far outside India. Physically they're closer to ogres than other demonic species.  And they can have multiple arms and heads and are expert multi-taskers when those manifest.  So, taking them down quick and hard is the best way to handle those," Bob said.

Butters nodded, "Got it, anything else?"

"Not much," Bob said, "There are the Malfested, those corrupted by the demonic blade Soul Edge, though there hasn't been a flare-up of those in about a decade. Hekatoncheries are even rarer, and they’re so obsessed with ending slavery in all its forms that they tend to be more helpful to humans than threats.  There are succubae-- like non-white court Succubae, and I could go on about those--”

“Let’s call it a night there.”

“Spoilsport,” Bob huffed. 

Chapter Text

“That,” Bob said, “Was a Kaiju .”

“A--, wait, what?” Butters stammered.

“A Kaiju,” Bob repeated. 

“It’s just,” Butters managed, “You have to be kidding.  Those can’t be real!  They’re more fantastic than superheroes!  How are they ignored?!”

“Oh, they aren’t,” Bob said, “They’re just very good at hiding.”

“You have got to explain this one.”

“Right-o, Boss,” Bob said, “The first thing to understand is that Kaiju is a collective term.  It’s not so much a species or group, but a certain physical and metaphysical ‘mass’ of being.  It can’t just be one or the other, it’s got to be a mix of both to really count.”

“Wait, you’re saying some powerful supernaturals can just,” Butters fiddled with his hands, “throw a wand down and ahem, grow?”

“Or make other things grow,” Bob said, “it’s expansive and dangerous, but sometimes appearing as a giant is part of the show.  Oberon, the Fae King of Spring, once attacked New York and grew about 500ft high to get what he wanted.”

Butters grunted skeptically, “And no one heard about this because?”

“He put the entire borough to sleep as his first attack,” Bob said, “Didn’t pass through the threshold of the home he was targeting, but Oberon showed why Fae royalty is not to be trifled with that day.”

“Yeah,” Butters nodded, “That would be a show of force.”

“But, a true Kaiju tends to have that mass already available to them as a part of their nature.  Sometimes they can squeeze themselves down, but that only applies to the magical ones.”

“There are non-magical Kaiju?” 

“Sort of,” Bob said, “Let me start -- first, we have the classics: Dragons, True Demons, and other Old One scions.  Then there are Biomega, Heterodyne, and Hyper-Tulpa.”

“Dragons, I get,” Butters said.

“Really?  You think you “Get” dragons?”

Butters hesitated, “Alright, what should I know?”

“There are three groups of dragons, Western, Eastern, and New World,” Bob said, “Western ones are the type most people think of.  And in them, there are the lesser dragons -- the ones most people think of when the word comes up, and then there’s the Greater Dragons, Ferovax and his ilk.  Creatures closer to the World Serpent of the Norse than to any other form.  New World dragons are neatly divided into ‘sky’ serpents and the underground serpents, or water panthers.  Some are greater, like the god Quetzalcoatl or Unchegila, others are not as potent.  Easter dragons have a similar divide to their western counterparts, but their top dragons are simply the Dragon Kings, each one making their home in a part of the Pacific or Indian oceans.

“Okay, I knew some of that,” Butters said, “Not about Native American dragons, though.”

“One was killed a few years ago right here in Chicago,” Bob said.

“Really?” Butters gasped, “How come--”

“Remember that summer with all the fires?”

Butters nodded, “Oh, that would do it.  But who stopped it.”

“Apparently it literally tripped and fell, ramming an iron pike up its pallet and into its brain, killing it instantly,” Bob giggled, “Dragons are very powerful, but sometimes, they can be very dumb.”

Butters rocked in his chair, “Seems rather anticlimactic.”

“Most dragons don’t go down so easily,” Bob said, “You’ve heard Michael’s story.”

“Took a while to coax out of him,” Butters said. 

“Both of those were lesser dragons,” Bob said, “Greater dragons don’t usually get temperamental--and when they do, it takes the form of extreme weather phenomenon.”

Butters nodded, “Allowing them to vent their anger without being caught.”

“Exactly,”  Bob said, “When the Southern Dragon King’s castle was hit in the Castle Bravo test, it sent a few storms to ravage some military bases, as well as smashing Tokyo in 1954.”

Butters nodded, but then sat up straight in his seat, something clicking in his mind, “Wait, ‘54, Tokyo.  Dragon,”  He gave Bob a hard look, “No, you don’t mean.” 

Bob’s eye lights gleamed, “I do indeed.  He’s probably the most potent these days because of all those movies.” 

“But--” Butters stammered, “I mean, how do we not notice him?!”

“Storms, mostly,” Bob said, “He’s done two treks across America, remember the big storm that his New York on New Year’s for 2000 that did so much damage that a big chunk of it was closed off for over a year?”

Butters nodded, “Was that him?”

“No,” Bob said, “He met and fought off the thing hiding inside it--The King of Terror, King Ghidorah,”

“He’s,” Butters gasped, “No, that’s--How many of them are real?”

“A lot, actually,” Bob said, “but few can be called dragons.  There are other magical beings out there, angels and demons alike, in that, ‘er, group of monsters you may know.”

Butters dropped his head into his hands and rubbed his eyes, “Godzilla is real.  Oy vey, Godzilla is real.  Alright, what are the others?”

“Anguirus is a demon,” Bob said, “Mothra is either the avatar of a god or an archangel, researchers aren’t sure which.  And Rodan is a Thunderbird.”

Butters sighed, “Is Gamera real too?” 

“Yes,” Bob said promptly. 

Butters tilted his head.  

“He’s a bit of an odd case,” Bob said, “A construct tied to the planet itself.  It’s a long story involving ancient sorcerers trying to make up for a major past mistake.  That should give you an overall idea of how the largely magical side of this ‘threat level’ can go.”

Butters nodded a bit numbly, “I get it, but just give me a moment to get over it.”

“Thankfully, after that, the other major groups are a bit more ‘sane’ by comparison” Bob assured him.  “As I mentioned, there’s the Biomega, Heterodyne, the Hyper-Tulpa,  Heterodyne are the oldest of these sorts of things. They are somewhat thaumagenic, generating spontaneously when there are disturbances between dimensions, or very improper gateways are made.  They incorporate matter from the area they form in, be it gases, dirt, or water.  They grow in a fractal structure eventually forming a large body for themselves.  Records I’ve seen have their range in size from about 10ft across to ones that are measured in miles.  The biggest of these are said to live in deep space, but all share an odd feeding strategy.”

“Oh?”

“They feed on electromagnetic energy,” Bob said, “Be it radio waves or radiation.  It draws them in and they use it to grow. Thei shapes and material structure vary so much that you have to be on your toes to get to their weak spot.”

“They have a weak spot?”

“Sort of,” Bob said, “A lucky hit to a certain spot on the creature causes them to dissolve rapidly.  Where that spot is, no one is precisely sure.”

Butters scratched his chin, “Well if they grow in a fractal pattern, the center of it could be the spot.”

“That’s what I think,” Bob said, “Though finding a spot on a 40ft monster trying to crush you is a bit tricky for most people.”

“I’ll bet,” Butters said, “What about the others?”

“Hyper-Tulpa are exactly what it says on the tin,” Bob said, “That massive tulpa outbreak in New York 20 years ago set the partial standard, but these things have been reported for decades before that.  All that’s needed is a human with a properly attuned mystical band, a power source, and unaired grievances or fears to fuel its shape.”

“Fuel its shape?”

“Yes,” Bob said, “They are sometimes referred to as Id Monsters.”

“Like  in Forbidden Planet ?”

“Pretty much,” Bob said, “And like any nightmare, they can take any shape.  One in the 70s here in Chicago took the form of a bayou boogie man named Paramafait, while one in New York managed to grow to huge sizes by tapping into the cities’ power grid.”

“So they’re as tough as the power source they’re hooked into,” Butters nodded his head.

“Roughly, though sometimes finding the power source is impossible given the size and location, so dealing with the monster directly is the only way forward,” Bob said.

"And how do we handle it?"

"Varies a lot," Bob said, "If it's not solidified, it can be taken down like any other spirit.  But if it is solid, then hitting it until it dies is the only way to go, and they don't die easily."

"Great," Butters sighed.

"That just leaves Biomega to talk about,” Bob said. 

“That’s oddly pun-y for a supernatural,” Butters said. 

“That’s because it’s only partly supernatural,” Bob said, “And partly scientific.”

“Scientific?”

“Alchemic might be a better descriptor,” Bob said, “It all started with, of all things, Frankenstein.”

“Frankenstein’s re--,” Butters stopped himself, “Of course he is.  So, is it the monster or the man?”

“Neither,” Bob said, “it’s the heart of one of the Frankenstein creations.  Doctor Frankenstein made a mystical horror that, as long as it was fed, could be immortal. And every cell of it could eat quite a bit.”

“Every cell?”

“Well,” Bob said, “Put them in a fluid with protein and any part of the thing can live indefinitely.  That’s how the Nazis found it.”

Butters sighed, “Of course it’s the Nazis.”

“The worst,” Bob said, “Well, as Germany fell, they tried to secret of a lot of their weirder stuff.  One of them was the heart of one of the various Frankenstein creations.”

“There’s been more than one Frankenstein?”

“Multiple doctors,” Bob said, “And multiple creations, but as much as I’d love to get sidetracked, we need to follow that heart.  They sent it to Japan and it ended up in Hiroshima.  On December 7th, 1945.”

Bob said the date slowly, punctuating each word. 

Butters rubbed his forehead, “Yikes.”

“Yeah,” Bob said, “The heart survived, got inside a local, and began to grow uncontrollably.”

“So, like, a big lump of cancer?”

“More uniformly, but that is how they work in some sense,” Bob said, “anyway.  It was eventually destroyed, but because the cells of this thing could grow as long as they got food, two more monsters were spawned from it.  When those were destroyed in a volcanic eruption in the mid-60s.  But a scientist, known mostly as Doctor Shinka, got a hold of them, and that’s where he managed to weaponize the stuff.  He made several varieties of them.  Drones, Beasts, and of course, Kaiju.  The difference being potency and size. They often have chaotic designs, getting more complex as they move up the line in both mass and power.”

“Drones being the weakest.”

“Of course.”

“He had a reign of terror throughout the 70s and early 80s, his technology falling into all sorts of hands.  Plus, with its rampant recovery ability, there are enough ‘wild’ ones out there to still cause problems.”

“So, how do you kill them?”

“Hit them with enough force that they eventually explode,” Bob said. 

“What?”

“They are extremely volatile,” Bob said, “They get battered around enough or hard enough, and they will detonate.  But as long as it has mass, no matter what state it’s in, it’s alive.”

“Scary,”  Butters whistled.  

“In more ways than one,” Bob said, “Way, what happened to the one you faced?”

Butters flared open both hands and made a noise like a soft explosion. 

“Good, at least you know it’s dead at least.”

“And I hope I never see one again.”

Chapter Text

“So, you finally want me to tell you about the superheroes,” Bob said, an undeniable smugness in his voice.  

“I think I’m ready for it,” Butters rocked in his chair, “But, keep it simple.”

“Whatever you say, Boss,” Bob said, “The first thing is, we need to define our terms.  A superhero for our purposes can be defined as a being who is portrayed wearing a special outfit to go out and punch bad guys. That sound decent enough?”

Butters nodded. 

“Good, because the first thing to understand is that most superheroes dress more like Harry than the stuff you may think of. Some do, but mostly for publicity.  There’s a reason Superman these days settles for jeans and a T-shirt with his logo on it.”

“Superman. He’s real?”

“We need to establish things first, Boss, then go into more details,” Bob’s voice took on the tone of a mildly annoyed teacher that stirred something in the back of Butters' mind, “The basic thing is, Harry is more like a Superhero than most things in comic books.”

“What do you mean?”

“Very few of them wear costumes for one,” Bob said, “Some do, of course.  Michael Carpenter was one domino mask away from being a costumed hero when you get down to it.  Many others that rely on items or other ‘stuff’ sometimes wear them since they need time to prepare. But a lot of the times, they’re just regular people in normal clothes, and don’t have time to change outfits to save lives.”

“I guess that makes sense,” Butters nodded.

“Second, most people who try to be superheroes manage maybe a few years at best.  It’s a rare duck that can operate and maintain the lifestyle for decades or start a true legacy.  They either snap under the pressure or are snapped. Or shot.  Or stabbed.  Or-”

“I get the picture,” Butters grumbled.  

“Now, the first few masked adventurers date back several hundred years but were indeed quite rare.  The oldest we have records of is the Phantom.”

“The Phantom?  Like, Phantom of the Opera .”

“No, Remember that terrible Billy Zane movie from the 90s?” Bob’s eye-lights rolled in his skull, “It’s that Phantom.”

“Oh,” Butters said, “Really?”

"Yup,” Bob said, “Part of a long lineage of costumed champions operating largely in Africa and Europe since the 16th Century.  There have been other masked folks, both of the criminal and cop varieties, but that’s the only one that has a lasting lineage today. Other than that, they popped in and out, here and there, for the next few centuries.  The Scarlet Pimpernel in the 1790s for instance.  But it wasn’t until the 19th century that they started to become more common.  Rare, but more common.  Mostly it was just people doing vigilante activity with a disguise.  Not counting the Klan of course, because they are just the worst.”

“Of course.”

“Of course,” Bob echoed, “In 1800, the Daring Dragoon operated in the Caribbean.  El Zorro tore up the Mexican territories in 1806, and that was a hero lineage that had legs right there.  I think there’s still one of those running around with a laser sword and fighting cartels right now. There was also the Lone Ranger in 1874.  Like I said, rare, but getting more common.  It wasn’t until the rise of ‘Science Villains’ that the costumed hero thing, or at least, what is perceived as costumed heroes, really got going."

“Science villains?”

Bob didn’t answer for a moment, his eyes searching the room, “You ever stop and think about how… Sci-Fi things have become?  Satellites, cybernetic implants, killer robot drones in government control, Labors. A lot of it can be traced to a few individuals.  Unlike warlocks, there wasn’t anyone really keeping track of strange sciences.  Some of these individuals have Malignant Hyper-Cognitive Disorder.  Others are what some refer to as Whispered, hearing the secrets of ancient Mu whispered to them in dreams.  And others were just really, really smart.  Just because strange things exist doesn’t mean mundane reality can’t be surprising. it wasn’t until the age of the steam engine that they really could make a splash.  

“That’s how you got guys like Captain Nemo, James Moriarity, Fu Manchu, Robur the Conqueror, and Hellsingard.  Guys who took cutting-edge science and invented things 50 to 100 years ahead of their time.  Submarines, air pistols, and the classic flying battleships.” Bob sighed wistfully, “Marvelous things, really.  Anyway, this all hit ahead in the first World War and a bunch of them got tapped for the war efforts. Lot of crazy stuff in both science and sorcery back then”

“Because of Kemler,” Butters said.

Bob shuddered, “Especially because of Kemler.  I’d tell you more about that time, but--”

Butters raised his hands, “I know, just, do what you can.”

“Right oh,” Bob said, “After the war, many of the war-time talents and weapons fell into the wrong hands and that’s where the first few ‘adventurers’, later of whom would be categorized as superheroes, began appearing.  Most were plainclothes types like Atomic Robo Tesla, and Clark Wildman, who you may know better as Doc Savage.”

“I,” Butters said, "Don't."

“Better off,” Bob spat a breath, “Didactic and verbose guy.”

“Do tell,” Butters snickered.

“Ha.  Ha.” Bob said flatly before continuing as normal timbre, “Anyway, you also had guys who wore less, like John Clayton, Lord Greystoke, who I know you’ve heard of by his other name -- Tarzan.”

“He’s real?”

“Immortal too,” Bob said, “Running around someplace deep in the Nevernever these days.  Says it’s to keep things 'interesting.’  Anyway, by about a decade out from after the Great War, that’s when these costumed types really started showing up.  Slow at first, with The Shadow in 1929, The Golden Bat in 1930, The Spider in ‘31, The Green Hornet, Kato, and The Domino Lady in ‘34.  Even a wizard, Mandrake, got in on the act around 1932.  Gave the White Council some aches back in the day.”

“Isn’t the Green Hornet still around?” Butter said, “And isn’t she a crook?”

“It’s pretty neat, really,” Bob said, “The whole Green Hornet deal is to act as a criminal while fighting crime to also take down corrupt cops.”

Butters blinked, “I guess that works.”

“Been doing so for about 80 years, imagine how bad it’d be without them?” Bob said, “But anyway, the latter half of the 1930s saw more well-known costumed vigilantes show up -- Superman and Batman in particular.”

“So, both are real. I need a moment to process that,” Butters huffed, “So, what are they.”

“An alien and a normal person as far as I’ve been able to tell,” Bob said. 

Butters blinked, “So, aliens are real?”

“When you really think about it,” Bob said, “Most visitors from non-earthly planes could count as alien.”

“No.  No, we aren’t doing that,” Butters sighed, “But why isn’t Superman more well known?”

“He has affected the English language-- Brainiac, Bizarro Kryptonite, the prefix ‘Super-’”

“Not what I mean.”

“A few reasons, half of which are the comics themselves.” Bob said, “It’s a little clever, really.”

Butters thought for a moment before he answered the unspoken question, “Disinformation?”

“Deliberate disinformation,”  Bob said, “Powers are exaggerated, fake names and locations are given, and it works to up their reputation for those who do see a super.”

“Do you know, uh, how strong they can be?”

“To an extent,” Bob said, “Some augment their abilities with kinetic magic, but in terms of raw power, Superman back in his prime could lift a city bus.  Which means if he wasn’t careful with his strength, he could rip a man limb from limb by accident.”

“Yeesh,” Butters rocked in his chair, “That’s--”

“The actual consequences of being so strong and getting in a fight?”

“So, was he more powerful than a locomotive?”

“At the time, yes.  Faster than a speeding bullet?  Close to it, at least.  For some slower guns at least.  Leap tall buildings?  Well, he lept so good people thought he could fly.  And it really took artillery to do any actual damage to the guy.”

“And the other stuff?”

“Mostly exaggerations, though he did apparently have laser eyes and could see through walls.” 

“How?”

Bob let out a grunt that substituted for a shrug, “Dunno, boss.  It's like that guy I mentioned who can see through drywall as a talent.  All I know is that he did it.  Anyway, he kicked off the first Superhero Boom. So we got a few hundred folks putting on gaudy outfits and acting as vigilantes.”

“Are they all real?”

“Not all of them, but a lot were, and few lasted as I said. It was an odd mix. Aside from regular folks, you had Talents, Scions, even full Sorcerers getting in on the act.  After Mandrake, they were especially put off by this newest development." 

“I can imagine.”

“The unspoken laws of secrecy were strained pretty hard by their actions.  Giovanni Zatara hid it with stagecraft, while folks like the Shadow got in trouble for stretching the third law a bit. Turns out he was a mesmerist rather than a mind-mage and used illusions to bolster things up, so he managed to get a slide, but others were not so lucky.

“Though to be fair, there were things like the Helmet of Fate and Champions of Magic that they had no control over.”

“Champions of Magic?”

“You know,” Bob paused for dramatic effect, “SHAZAM!”

“ He was real too?”

“Not only is he real,” Bob said, “in my, uh, darker days, I, apparently, was one of his villains.”

“You?” Butters said, “You were a supervillain?”

“Sort of.  More of a sidekick to a supervillain.” Bob said, “Kemler and I, sort of created our own anti-champion of magic with SABBAC.”

Bob did his best to preen and bask in the accomplishment, but Butters just blinked. 

“Never heard of him, did you?”

“Sorry,” Butters said. 

“I was also part of the Monster Society of Evil?”

“Sorry,” Butter blinked, then said, “Wait, were you Mr. Mind?”

“No,” Bob’s voice was cold, “No I was not.”

“Oh,” Butters felt himself tighten under Bob’s nonexistent stare.

“He was one scary worm,” Bob said, “So, I’m not so glib when talking about him.  I don’t remember much, but I remember he was a scary customer.”

Bob took up his normal tone after a moment and continued, “Anyway, the 40s saw the first Superhero team, the Justice Society.  Though it wasn’t really a team at first.  It was more of a social club for like-minded individuals to shoot the breeze, take a breather, share stories, or ask for assistance. It wasn’t until the US entered World War II that they became a proper team. 

“The war also saw a massive increase in weird science and occult phenomena bringing in more weirdness into the world.  Atomic Robo started adventuring, the Hellboy was born, Captain America, the works.”

“Wow,” Butters said.  

“It really was a special time,” Bob had a hint of wistfulness in his voice. 

“So, what happened?”

“Paranoia, really,” Bob said, “After the war, with Captain America frozen in ice, and Hitler apparently dead, Americans slowly felt that the need for superheroes to continue operating was non-existent.  Many just retired, others kept on for a while, but most saw the end of the war as the end of their careers.  Those that stuck around faced harsher elements.”

“Harsher?  Wait, what do you mean Hitler apparently dead?”

“He kept going until 1954 thanks to Kemlerites and the whole Occult Wars situation.  Heck, there are still remnant Nazi groups running around, even after the Millennium debacle.” 

“But he’s dead now, right?”

“Double plus dead,” Bob assured, “And most of his remaining hidden forces were smashed to bits by 1999.”

“Ninty-nine!?” Butters repeated. 

“I told you, in the Millennium debacle.” 

“Which was?”

“An occult terrorist attack on London’s monster hunting organization,” Bob said, “Big mess.  They managed to get through and cover most of it up by citing mundane terrorists, so I’m not surprised you missed it,” Bob said, “But as of right now, all of the big organizations that spawned from remnant Nazi action -- Shocker, Millennium -- all of them are dead and gone. Any of this new crop is going to need archeologists to get any of those toys to work..”

Butters let out a sigh of relief.  

“Now, back to business. McCarthy and his House of Un-American Activities saw the Supers as a threat, mostly because many still championed social reform, protections for minorities, more rights for women, that sort of thing.  The specter of communism was everywhere. and went after them with full force. I mean, they were technically vigilantes by and large and breaking the law, and McCarthy saw that ‘masked’ vigilantism got harsher laws and penalties added to it, including the ability to sue masked vigilantes for wrongful damages. When he called in the JSA, they resigned en masse as part of a protest.  Others joined government agencies, were just too ornery to contain, or died.”

“Died?”

“Killed by FBI agents, or beat cops,” Bob said, “Ignoble end to a lot of people who really wanted to help. Or just got off on beating people up, it varied.  For many minority heroes of the time, they were offed by the Klan.”

“Yikes,” Butters shivered. 

“In the end, only three costumed heroes really survived into 1949.  Superman, Wonder Woman, and Batman. I mean, a few stragglers popped up here and there, that was the end of the first ‘age’ of masked vigilantism.”

“So, what happened next?”

“Some quiet times,” Bob said, “but things started building up once again with the rise of Kaiju.”

Butters blinked, staring at Bob. 

“What?”

“I’m still not 100% on that.”

“You did destroy one,” Bob pointed out.

Butters tipped side to side, “I know! I know, But I’m still having trouble accepting that I did it.”

“Let’s get back on track,” Bob said, “Remnant German and Japanese attempts to twist the occult to their will or tamper with science beyond them getting out and making monsters and monsters just showing up naturally, as well as the slow proliferation of the stranger elements of the war getting into the wrong hands once again, caused a reaction from the other side. The Flash, Tetsujin-28, Supergirl, but it came to a head in a secret war of the Pacific.”

“A secret war?”

“You remember the war with the Reds, you think this is the first time it happened?” Bob said with a mild hint of incredulity,  “So, by 1960, there was a full bloom of new supers.  The Fantastic Four, a Justice League working with government oversight, and so on.  By then, McCarthy had been dead for a few years, and rumor is that Wonder Woman’s civilian identity had apparently worked her way up to take over the agency in the US that kept track of Supers and bent it to her will, making a lot of them more eager to join up. The things McCarthy championed were dismantled.  So, while Vigilantism was still illegal, doing the good samaritan thing in a mask was no longer a crime.  And a lot of the capes became government agents.”

“Ah, so that’s the ‘Silver Age,’” Butters said, “But I still wonder what’s real and what isn’t.  Got any data on that?”

“A bit, but unless you want a list of superheroes who were active in the 60s, we’d best move on.”

“But if I DO want a list?”

Bob sighed, “Okay, quickly.  The Trinity was still around, though there was a new Batman.  A lot of heroes started getting generational when it wasn’t dealing with supernatural beings or aliens.  Hawkman, Green Arrow, Plastic Man -- all of them got direct or indirect inheritors.  Captain America came back, the Fantastic Four appeared.  The Hulk, Iron  Man, a new avatar of Thor, Spider-Man -- all the real big ones showed up around this time.”

“Were you still--”

“Nah, I was in the Council’s hands by then, so no supervillain exploits for me.  Though Sabbac still popped up on occasion.  Made him too well.

“Anyway, while the 60s were generally thought of as an idyllic time, it really, REALLY wasn’t. And a few of these heroes became more and more openly countercultural than ‘cultural’ like their predecessors were.  Got involved in all sorts of stuff, beatniks, hippies, and the civil rights movement.”

“They did?”  

“Supergirl, in particular, joined sit-ins and other forms of protest,” Bob said, “I actually got to see one of those.  It was really rather funny to see the cops break their nightsticks and fists against the harder-than-steel skin of a Kryptonian.” 

“Must have been hard for her,” Butters said.

“Looked easy enough from where I saw it,”  Bob said.

“No, for her,” Butters said, “She was an alien, right?”

“That’s what she said,” Bob answered.

“Well, she was from an advanced society.  Super technology, physical advancement, and maybe an enlightened one?  Probably post-scarcity without much in the way of prejudice regarding race or gender.  And then to be flung into 60s earth.  She must have been suppressing a lot of anger about that.”

Bob thought and said, “That would explain the scary smile she gave the cops as they walked away in pain.” Bob paused and added, “Though I tend to gloss over that given they came back, tried to tie her to a set of cop cars with chains, and only succeeded in ripping off their fenders!”

Bob laughed a bit and Butters couldn’t help but chuckle as well. 

“Regardless, by 73, a new wave of heroes took a different angle.  They kept some ties to law enforcement, but more in the private sector, either as security or as investigators, sort of like what Harry does.  Japan, after getting some literal divine assistance from a few beings you probably know best as ‘Ultraman,’ got in on the game with their own official military branch of heroes dubbed the “Super Fighting Force”, and ended up at the center of a few secret wars against all sorts of weird things.  Underground serpent people, ancient super-golems, demon armies, the works.

“But others went more to the vigilante route, killing those they labeled as ‘criminals,’ and creating a lot of conflicts wherever they went.”

“You mean like the Punisher?”

“Like the Punisher,” Bob confirmed.   

“This reached its peak in the early 80s.  That’s when,” Bob seemed to pause to stabilize his voice, “The Doomsday Plan went into action.”

“The Doomsday Plan?”

“A group of mad scientists and businessmen of ill repute,”

“So, businessman,” Bob said.

“Bingo,” Bob said, “They apparently pooled their resources and decided to make a living weapon to finally get rid of superheroes in the US once and for all.  They used the still-living body of Mr. Hyde, put in cybernetic enhancements, and laced his body with toxic chemicals so that anyone who came to fight it and got away would be either crippled or die from it.”

Butters realized what Bob was talking about, “Oh. The Doomsday .plan.”

“Exactly,” Bob said, “It didn’t work out as well as they hoped.  I mean, Superman died, but that was about it.  Other heroes were already on their way to retirement when it struck. To make matters worse, one of the largest independent superhero organizations, the Academy of Tomorrow, had a full-on meltdown when the founder was revealed to also be one of their worst enemies.”

Butters scratched his head, thinking of the name for a moment before blurting out, “Wait, the X-Men?”

“Bingo,” Bob said, “The thing had been running rather smoothly since the early 60s, but it turns out that neither “Charles Xavier” nor “Magneto” existed.  They were the same person.  A true mutant rather than the collection of scions, talents, and other supernatural beings he normally collected.  His real name was John Wainwright. He had been active since the 20s, and the whole “X-Men” thing was a ploy to play both sides against the middle, where he leads ‘heroic mutants’ against a ‘brotherhood of evil mutants’ to make people like himself look better.”

“But mutants are real?”

“Ha!  Not in the slightest,” Bob said, “I believe I already mentioned this, but mostly it was people with magical talents, scions, devil-beast syndrome victims, the occasional werewolf, and other supernatural beings by and large.  I mean, I suppose you could call Talents human mutants if you think about it, and there are the things that Hellmouths can do to a person.  There are also actual psychics like John was.  But I'm getting off track. When John was outed and the students revolted against him, it caused a big rip in the community.  Word is he died in the conflict, but he’s been reported dead so many times I doubt this time it stuck.”

Butters snapped his fingers, “Wait, that’s Onslaught isn’t it?”

“That was mostly an attempt by Marvel Comics to get out of the red, but yes, it was the rough source for that too.  You can’t really take comics at face value for these things.”

“So, then what happened.”

“Well with the superhuman community in tatters from the double whammy this brought about, leaving other elements of the government to try and move in on the whole deal.  Making superhuman black ops teams and PMCs into ‘stars’ to make money on the side, and for about 2 or 3 years it worked.”

“Let me guess, Youngblood?”

“Youngblood.  And Cyberforce, and a few others as well.”

Butters said, “I’m guessing it blew up in their faces.”

“In almost every respect.  And thus the “Youngblood” Program ended up as a flash in the pan thanks to volatile personalities being forced to be heroes and the collapse of the speculator market in the medium they hoped to exploit.”

“So, what’s happening now?”

“Well,” Bob said, “around the same time Harry got his license, a new wave of heroes started up from the ashes of what was left.  Most of them were kids.  Inspired by the media to use their abilities as scions, sorcerers, or whatever, to help other people.  Some institutions reformed or still existed to help a few along, but many were just on their own to figure things out.”

“Really?”  Butters said, “So there are still superheroes around?”

“Of course,” Bob answered, “Some are even here in Chicago. Like Officer Dragon--”

“Wait, he’s a superhero?”

“I believe you’d know him better as Savage Dragon ,” Bob said, “Got a deal with Image Comics in the 90s.  Lots of made-up stuff, but not too bad.  There are quite a few super-cops these days.  The current wielder of the Witchblade is a New York Detective, there’s that cyborg in Detroit, and then there’s the Black Scorpion whose civilian identity is a police officer.”

“I’m sorry,” Butters rubbed his head, “I never heard of that one.”

“Not surprised,” Bob said, “Lot of these vigilante types try to make some money on the side via comic book or movie deals. The Black Scorpion got hers sold to Roger Corman.”

“Ouch.”

“At least Toxie did better for himself in the long run.”

“Toxie?  You mean the Toxic Avenger?” 

“None other!”

Butters scratches his head, “That’s not what I was expecting.”

“Few do,” Bob said, “The homeless-slash-outcast superhero is more common than you think, those that can’t or won’t get employment with their powers and antics tend to go this route.  Other than Toxie, there’s a Hellspawn that took that route, and those Runaway kids in Los Angeles are technically homeless, though I haven’t heard where they’re supposed to be squatting.”

“Okay, okay,” Butters said, “What else do they do?”

“Well, aside from the police, many are tied to government agencies.  Usually, the ones that don’t get talked about too much.  This is where most of the big names you think of when it comes to superheroics and costumed vigilantism hideout. Your Superman, Batman, Spider-Man, Wonder Woman, and all that.  Those few got whole families of successors running around, most with a sanction or even force of law behind them.”

“Are most of them really along the coasts?” Butters asked, “New York and all that.”

“They’re probably the reason the Fomore never got a strong foothold in New York or Philadelphia,” Bob said, “Most of the ones I know about are American, and a lot of them are in New York.”

Butters stared at Bob for a moment, “You know, this seems a bit out of your normal wheelhouse.”

“What do you mean?”

“How did you get all this information, Bob?” Butters stood up, to emphasize his point. 

“The Internet.”

“Did you just read the Marvel Wiki and confuse it with reality?” Butters' face scrunched up in an annoyed scowl as he felt a powerful headache coming on.  

Bob scoffed, “Give me some credit, Boss.”

Butters rubbed his temples, “Did you hack into top-secret databases?”

Bob’s eye lights went back and forth, “... A little.”

Butters let out an exasperated sigh.  He rolled back in his chair and pinched the bridge of his nose.  After a few moments, curiosity got the better of him, “So, do you, like, know the real identities of these superheroes?”

“I have their full contact information,” Bob said cheerily, “Just in case.  I mean, you’re a Knight of the Cross!  These are the kind of connections you should have, right?”

“I’m sure calling them out of the blue would be a great idea,” Butters muttered, “‘Gee, Superman, there’s a big demon about to rise, think you can lend a hand?’”

“Well, it wouldn’t quite be like that--” Bob said.

“He’s very busy,” a voice cut through the darkness that neither of them expected.

“Bob,” Butters said.

Bob’s voice was quiet, high pitched, and full of fear. “Butters, turn around slowly.  Whatever you do, don’t make any sudden moves.”

Butters obeyed Bob’s instructions.  A figure seemed to be melting out of the darkness of the hall outside his ‘office’. The figure was covered in a dark cloak, their face completely enclosed in a mask with lenses obscuring their eyes.  The mouth of the mask seemed stitched over, and two prominent horns, thin and straight, jutted up from the top of their head.  

Not horns, Butters realized, ears. 

That’s when he noticed the yellow outline on their chest.  Whatever the logo was, it was covered by the cape. But the dip in the top of and point at the bottom of whatever outline logo was behind the cape’s folds was enough to let him guess what stood before him.

“Batman?”

The figure tilted its head, seemingly amused, “I like to think that, yes.”

“How did you get past the wards?” Butters asked, then his voice hardened, “Where’s Andy?” 

“Sleeping,” The figure said, “She is fine.”

Butters let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, “And the wards?”

The figure tilted its head again.  

“Right,” Butters said, “You’re Batman.”

The figure nodded.

“Well, since you’re here and not, like, attacking me immediately.  I guess you’re here to talk.”

She nodded. 

“Okay,” Butters drew out the word, “So, what do you want to talk about.”

The figure pointed to Bob.  Bob let out an ‘eep’, but Butters noticed the full emblem on the figure’s chest.  The build of the person was slight, she stood only a little taller than himself.  She was maybe half a foot taller than Murphy, but she carried herself as if she was 7ft tall.  

And the figure was a woman.  He wasn’t sure at first, but seeing her full outline confirmed it, if only just.  She was built like women he’d seen in kung fu movies -- Michelle Yeoh, Jeeja Yanin, Cynthia Rothrock -- only harder, a little wiry, but powerful. As if she had the shape of a delicate glass sculpture, but made of granite or diamond.   

Butters sighed, “This is about the hacking.”

She nodded. 

“He’s been… bad,” She said, “But I understand.  That doesn’t mean he is bad.  Even things like him can change.”

“So you came here,” Butters started to ask. 

“To be sure,” She said, “He did … hack the database.  My friends were angry about that.”

“It won’t happen again! I swear!” Bob’s voice came out rushed, and while he tried to be quiet, he did not succeed at all. 

The figure nodded, “The secret identities.  Forget them.  Just, call them by what the comics do.  Can you do that?"

"All that needs to be done is to have Butters here ask me to do that and it will be done," Bob said, "I can cut the whole lot of information out if--"

"No," She said, "I think you should keep some of it.  Contact information.  For Oracle.  Just in case.  If we need you, we will call.  Can you do that?”

"Of course I can!" Bob said, "Butters, ask me to do the thing!"

Butters hung open, still stuck on the words the woman had just said.  He didn’t know how long he stood there trying to process this request, but he eventually managed, “Uh, yes -- yes!  Of course! I mean, what kind of knight or nerd would I be if I turned down a call to arms from the Justice League!”  He turned to Bob, "Bob, do the thing!"

"Thing done, boss!"

The Batman nodded and Butters thought for a moment she smiled underneath that full-face mask.  

“So,” Bob managed, “There are no hard feelings about-- you know, Sabbac?”

The Batman shook their head, “He doesn’t hold grudges.”

Bob whistled in relief, “That is a huge weight off my non-existent shoulders.”

“Just stay out of trouble,” She said, pointing a finger at Bob. 

“Yessum!” Bob managed. 

She nodded again. She turned, her cape swishing with the movement.  Butters watched as she defied all expectations and… Just walked out the door like a normal person. 

Butters let out a confused grunt, “I thought she’d, you know, jump out the window or something.”

“You know this neighborhood doesn’t have buildings big enough to swing from,” Bob said. 

“Oh, right,” Butters nodded his head, “But how come you were so scared of her? I mean, yeah, she’s super intimidating, but you’re a spirit.”

“That woman,” Bob said, “Is the current Shazam.”

“But,” Butters said, “She’s Batman, isn’t she?”

“It’s a little complicated, but safe to say one thing: She’s BOTH.”

Butters eyes went wide and he fell back in his chair, “Oi vey.”

“Understand now?”

“Not in the least," Bob said, "You were right, the comics really were one big disinformation campaign."

"And a lot of the truth is hidden in AU stories, like DCeased for instance."

A roar cut off their conversation, at first Butters thought it was thunder, but as it continued he recognized an engine’s roar, muffled and quieted in some way.  The feeling he had an amazing encounter sank deeper into his mind, despite how little had transpired.

Chapter Text

Chapter 1: 

The Jiang-Shi Detailed here can be seen in Jackie Chan Adventures, "Chi of the Vampire" (including aping a line from it, because I am weak and couldn't resist)

Pennangallan/Nurikabe as described comes from the Hellboy story "Heads" and Witch Doctor story "Mal Practice".  The Aswang also ties to the Witch Doctor story, they're labeled as "Strigoi Disease" or, for another species, "Reanimate Heterophage" with some additions from Philippine folklore. Witch Doctor also brings up the Soucouyant.  

The majority of the Diamond Court draws from actual folklore, but, the Vetala are the vampires of Buffy through and through. 

Sassambonsam/Asanbosam are drawn from The Silmarillion. 

Reaper vampires are from Blade II

Turok-Han are from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

The Blue Court consists of vampires drawn from most movie versions of Dracula (Lee and Lugosi), Underworld, Kolchak the Night Stalker, and similar vamps. The origin for them is a subtle nod to the origin of Vampires in Marvel Comics. 

Nosferatu is self-explanatory, but also show up in Marvel Comics, with the first appearance of Elsa Bloodstone. 

Sawtooth Vampires are the species shown in Supernatural.

Vampirella is self-explanatory.

Eric Brooks is the birth name given to Blade. 

Chastity Marks is the comic book "Bad Girl" vampire known mostly by her first name. 

And the establishment of "We can't always trust the source material to portray things accurately" is a very important point to take in going forward.

Chapter 2: 

The various non-wolf shapeshifters are primarily from folklore.  I would have mentioned the para-netter Were-gator from the Dresden Files RPG The Paranet Papers, but I had enough to cover as is.  

Silver's efficacy against shapeshifters and as being 'deadlier' than normal weapons is a folk belief dating back to the 1700s if not older.  It wasn't until the 1800s that silver disrupting magic and being the downfall of shapeshifters really took off, and wasn't until 1883 that a 'silver bullet' was used to kill a werewolf specifically.  So it's not a very old belief.  I just gave it some 'techno-babel."  This was released in a research document from the podcast Monstertalk. 

Larry Talbot, and other Talbots, begin displaying their Werewolf nature in Universal's The Wolf Man 

Advanced Lycanthropes can be seen in the TV Series Teen Wolf and Big Wolf On Campus.

Adifagothropes describe the man known as Logan or Wolverine, and his family, to a T. 

Project: Metalbeast (1995) is a real movie about a government project that gave a werewolf steel skin.  How could I not reference it when talking about Wolverine?! Especially since the project to capture the werewolf began in 1974 -- the same year Wolverine debuted. 

Cynocephalatic Werewolves can be seen in the films Dog Soldiers and Underworld.

Mr. Hyde's death and creation of Hyde Park in his name is a reference to League of Extraordinary Gentlemen vol. 2  - he was destroyed in part by Martians (War of the Worlds), but as a Loup-Garou, that was not enough to kill him for long.  He would later go on to menace many a superhero, from Thor to the Young Avengers. 

Hyde-25 is a reference to a Warren-published short story called Night of the Jackass, which is about Hyde's formula being used as a street drug. 

Teratolupus werewolf examples can be seen on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Ginger Snaps, and An American Werewolf in London.

Teratohominin werewolves are rarer but can be seen in Late Phases (2014).   It can also work for most "Wolfman" types such as the film Wolves (2014) or Wolf-Cop.

Chapter 3: 

Slayers are, of course, from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. 

Gargoyles are of the Greg Wiseman Television series Gargoyles. 

Agatha Harkness is the ancient sorcerers who taught the Scarlet Witch how to control her magic in Marvel Comics.  Willow's teacher in England in Season 7 is referred to as "Ms. Harkness" as an obvious nod.   I don't really make these crossovers up!

The "Sorcerers too powerful for the Council to Deal With" are all from elsewhere, but most are pretty obvious.  Stephen Strange (Doctor Strange, Marvel Comics), Ororo Munroe (Storm, Marvel Comics), Wanda Maximoff (Scarlet Witch, MarvelComics), Rachel Roth (Raven, DC Comics), and John Constantine (Hellblazer, DC Comics) are all somewhat what you might expect.  

Wanda's son William, is better known as the Young Avenger Billy Kaplan, or Wiccan.  

Nathan Springfield is better known by his Japanese nickname, "Negi", from the manga series Negima.  

Nico Minoru is from the Marvel series Runaways.  

Illyana Rasputin is another Marvel character from the X-Men Franchise.  The point about another woman, a Warden named Illyana, who is also a severe blonde Russian, comes from the Dresden Files short story AAAA Wizardry.  

The reference to Gargoyles being the scions of Dragons comes from the Etymology of the word "Gargoyle" which draws from the dragon Gargoulie.  

The clans mentioned are all either featured in the series or mentioned by the creator as existing.  

Except the one in New Jersey.  That's the Jersey Devil. 

The Reference to the Chicago clan and its destruction by "Special Investigations" Detective Nick O'Malley is a reference to the first episode of Special Unit 2.   Having only a few links between Gargoyles and Special Unit 2 means some ... meddling is involved. 

Graboids are, of course, a reference to the Tremors series. Calling them "Impundulu" is a reference to the 5th Tremors film.  And Dirt Dragons, to the 4th film in the series. 

"Data Thought Entity" is a nod to the 'Integrated' Data Thought Entity from The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. 

The "Big Influx" of Electronic Spirits is a reference to Digimon Tamers. 

Killdozer and Short Circuit are semi-obvious nods. As is Atomic Robo. 

Damned Souls as described come from Brimstone, with a little nod to Reaper as well. 

Highlander is Highlander.  Take the speculative "Truths" behind the Immortals as you will since they are speculations on the Venatori's part. 

Gorgons as described fit many points but draw most from Marvel's Incredible Hercules. 

Slashers, as a group concept, come from the comic series Hack/Slash.  

The Crystal Lake Killer is Jason Voorhees of Friday the 13th. 

The Lunchlady, Acid Angel, and Ms. America are slashers destroyed by Cassie Hack in Hack/Slash. 

Uncle Sam is Master Sergeant Sam Harper from the film Uncle Sam (1996).

The Springwood Slasher is Freddy Krueger from A Nightmare on Elm Street.

The Toxic Avenger is, well The Toxic Avenger.  

The reference to the Cockatiel-headed Thomas Edison is The Inventor from Marvel Comics' Ms. Marvel series by G. Willow Wilson. 

Grimm are, of course, from the series of the same name. 

Chapter 4: Other Spellcasters

The Coven is an explanation as to why the Council doesn't take down the people who tread the line on the Laws of Magic without support from the other nations. 

Thomas Nightingale is from the Rivers of London book series, as is Peter Grant (the series is narrated by him and sometimes referred to as his, but he is an apprentice). 

William Gravel is from the comic series Gravel by Warren Ellis. 

Doctor Vincent Morrow is from the comic series Witch Doctor.  

Harry Potter requires no explanation. 

Negi Springfield is, again, from the series Negima. 

Agatha Harkness is, again, from Marvel Comics. Other Marvel Comics characters mentioned include Wanda Maximoff/The Scarlet Witch, the "Queen of Wakanda" is Ororo Munroe/Storm, Illyana Rasputin/Magik, Nico Minoru (from Runaways), and Elizabeth Twoyoungmen/Talisman (From Alpha Flight).

From DC Comics, mentioned characters include Doctor Fate, Zatanna Zatarra, Manitou Dawn (Justice League/Justice League Elite),  Lori Zecklin/Black Alice (Birds of Prey, Secret Six), and Traci Thirteen/Girl 13 (Blue Beetle, Teen Titans).  

Willow Rosenberg is from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  

Chapter 5: Demons

The Damned describe demons from both Supernatural (when they possess people) and the series Brimstone. 

True Hellspawn is a direct reference to Todd MacFarlane's Spawn. 

Hellborn and lesser devils are the 'Cartoon Devil' and describe the devil Izeriel from a few episodes of Angel and the lead character from Mercy Sparx. 

True Devils come from the anime franchise Devilman and Devilman Lady/The Devil Lady. 

J.R.R. Tolkein did indeed write The Lord of the RIngs/The Hobbit with the conceit (explained in the appendices) that the Red Book of Westmarch was a real ancient text he translated, which was a common framing device for fiction in that time period.

The Old Ones, or Great Old Ones, are indeed a nod to the works within the Cthulhu Mythos.  As are The Deep Ones and "Children of Ithaqua."

The Virgoris of Oden’Tal and Deathwok Clan Demons appeared in Angel, the latter featuring a recurring Deathwok Clan demon character Lorne. 

Mok’Tagar, Vengeance Demons, and Miquot clan demons are from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. 

Wan-Shang-Dholes is a joint reference to Angel and The X-Files, a creature mentioned/featured in both. 

Tarkatans are best known from the video game Mortal Kombat. 

Serpent Men feature prominently in the stories of King Kull and Conan by Robert E. Howard. 

Cobra being tied to ancient serpent men harkens to the G.I. Joe: The Movie from the 80s. 

Hydra is a recurring villain organization in Marvel Comics.

Yougai and the Handsome Monkey King, feature prominently in The Journey to the West. 

The Malfested were first named in Soul Calibur 6, though the first appearance of such a thing occurred in the game Soul Edge.  To note, the only reason such things appeared in the late-80s/early 90s is thanks to the events of Soul Calibur II working in Spawn's favor. 

Chapter 6: Kaiju

The initial talk of Dragons is either directly from the Dresden Files or from world Mythology. 

The Dragon that attacked Chicago was featured in the Special Unit 2 episode "The Drag" though the design of the creature does not resemble the actual draconic beings ("Horned Serpents" and "Water Panthers") of various eastern Native American cultures. 

Godzilla is... well, Godzilla.  His two treks across America are references to the novel series by Marc Cerasini and the Marvel Comics Godzilla: King of the Monsters series. 

Rodan as a Thunderbird is a reference to the Marc Cerasini novel Godzilla 2000.

Gamera's origin here is a reference to the Heisei series, starting with Gamera: Guarding of the Universe in 1995. 

Biomega are from the comic series Atomic Robo and are an homage to the various Tokusatsu monsters of the 70s and 80s. 

Heterodyne are from the anime series Dai-Guard, with references to similar creatures featured in Star Trek, and the film X: The Unknown.

Hyper-Tulpa is a 'nicer' way of phrasing the "Monsters from the Id" which have made several appearances throughout fiction since first appearing in Forbidden Planet (which is also 'real' here). 

The Hyper-Tulpa Paramafait is a reference to Kolchak: The Night Stalker  "The Spanish Moss Murders"

The Hyper-Tulpa tied into New York City's electrical grid is a reference to Godzilla the Series "What Dreams May Come."

The Nazis sending the heart of Frankenstein over to Hiroshima and its subsequent shenanigans is a reference to Frankenstein Conquers the World.  The 'cells' of it getting into shenanigans references War of the Gargantuas. 

Chapter 7: Superheroes

Most big-name superheroes are well known enough to not really warrant notes. 

The Phantom, also known as "The Ghost Who Walks," is a pulp-era superhero with the longest created legacy outside of 'deep time' stuff sometimes pulled in later comics. 

The Scarlet Pimpernel is the earliest superhero character to see print.  

"The Daring Dragoon" is a masked hero from the short-lived TV series Jack of All Trades. 

Zorro first appeared in The Curse of Capistrano, and there have been many Zorro stories after that, many featuring descendants or those inspired by the original to take up the mantle of "The Fox" to fight oppression.  The one descendant running around with a 'laser sword' is a reference to the cartoon Zorro: Generation Z. 

The Lone Ranger is a masked vigilante whose heroic descendants are better known via another heroic monicker: The Green Hornet. 

"Labors" are a reference to the giant robot series Mobile Police Patlabor.  

"Malignant Hyper-Cognitive Disorder" is a reference to the novel Soon I Will be Invincible!

Captain Nemo, is the captian of the Nautilus from 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen... and Secret of Blue Water 

James Moriarity needs no introduction as the arch-nemesis of Sherlock Holmes.  He's had enough imitators, body doubles, and so on to have done battle with everything from Martians to the mutant Mystique. 

Fu Manchu is the ultimate Yellow Peril villain 

Robur the Conqueror is featured in Jules Verne's novel of the same name, as well as its sequel Master of the World. 

Hellsingard is Baron Heinrich von Helsingard, an arch-enemy of Atomic Robo.

Clark Wildman is the name given to a pastiche of Doc Savage (Clark Savage) used by Philip Hose Farmer and others in his various Wold Newton Universe tales. I couldn't resist mentioning that at this point.  He is the prototype for many modern superheroes. 

The Shadow is a pulp era costumed vigilante who began life as a mere crime host for radio plays but evolved into much more.  A prototype for Batman and his ilk. 

The Golden Bat or Ogun Bat is the oldest truly superhuman superhero -- and from Japan at that. 

The Spider is the earliest pulp vigilante to go REALLY off the rails with the blood and violence. A prototype for the Punisher and others to come. 

The Green Hornet and Kato are pulp era heroes that began as radio-play adventures.  The questions regarding the current Green Hornet being a woman fall to the most recent connected adaptation of the character to modern times having the mantle pass to the daughter of the original Kato, Mulan Kato who served both as the driver and later the Green Hornet herself. 

The Domino Lady is the first female pulp heroine.  Her gimmick is sexist as hell, but her place of note remains. 

Mandrake the Magician is an early magical hero of early comic strips. . 

Giovanni Zatara is an early DC magical hero, and father of the more famous Zatanna. 

The Helmet of Fate belongs to Doctor Fate. 

Mr. Mind is an archfoe of Captain Marvel. 

The Occult Wars are a reference to the Guillermo del Toro film adaptation of Hellboy. 

Millennium and Shocker are evil organizations created by surviving Nazis and their allies in Hellsing and Kamen Rider. 

McCarthy, the Secret Pacific War, and being able to sue vigilantes is a combined reference to America vs the Justice Society, DC's The New Frontier, and The Incredibles. 

Tetsujin-28 is better known in the United States as Gigantor.  

"a new avatar of Thor," - This is a reference to how the Donald Blake thing worked originally, and a What If story where Conan the Barbarian killed Thor.  

"Ultraman" - A giant Japanese hero. 

“Super Fighting Force” is a translation of Super Sentai later Americanized into the better-known Power Rangers. Atomic Robo provides a template for how they 'really' look. 

"Underground serpent people, ancient super-golems, demon armies, the works" references many of the big enemies faced by the Super Robots and other Tokusatsu heroes of Japan, including: Getter Robo, Getter Robo G, Mazinger Z, Great Mazinger, Steel Jeeg, and Dinosaur War Izenborg.  

Mr. Hyde is a classic literary character. 

"The Academy of Tomorrow" is a nod to both Emma Frost's rival school for the X-Men, and a subtle bit in the series Angel, where electrically powered cat burglar Gwen Raiden calls the place she trained at "The Academy."

 John Wainwright is better known via his source novel Odd John: A Story Between Jest and Earnest by Olaf Stapeldon.  This is the first novel where the word Homo superior was used to describe mutants. 

Devil-beast syndrome is another way to describe the bodily possession of a human by devils, and features in the manga and anime Devilman Lady/The Devil Lady. 

Cyberforce and Youngblood are Image comics series. 

The Kids inspired by media to be superheroes are The Young Avengers and Champions. 

Savage Dragon is a long-running image comic that has kept its original writer/artist/creator on since the beginning almost 30 years ago!

Witchblade is an urban fantasy comic series that verges on the superhero genre. 

Black Scorpion is a superhero movie and TV series. 

The Toxic Avenger is a superhero movie and an icon of its studio, Troma Entertainment. 

The Hellspawn is, of course, Spawn. 

Those Runaway Kids are The Runaways. 

The "Batman" here is Cassandra Cain who, in comics, has gone by the identities of Batgirl, Black Bat, and Orphan.