Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

I’m just a poor boy, I need no sympathy.

The line rung inside his head for seconds. The song lyrics played loudly against his ears, the poor-quality earphones doing it no justice at all. Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen, a personal favorite of his.

Mama, I just killed a man

Put a gun against his head,

Pulled the trigger, now he’s dead

He could see Zushi standing a few feet away, carrying a large cardboard box labeled Mito’s Clothes, and giving him a weird look. Gon felt a silly smile spread across his lips. It was obvious Zushi had no clue what he was listening to, so with the deepest voice he can muster now, Gon began to dramatically sing the lyrics aloud – completely catching his friend off guard.

“Mama, ooh, didn’t mean to make you cry!-“

Zushi’s eye lit up in realization, immediately recognizing his friends favorite song, and he dropped the cardboard box in favor of yelling out the next lyrics, “If I’m not back again this time tomorrow!-“

Both voices sung in horrible unison, the melody completely off, but the spirit there, “Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters!” Zushi yanked the green earphones out of Gon’s ears, both boys laughing joyfully at their awful performance. Their hands were held together tightly, a desperate attempt to ignore the underlying sadness they were both undoubtfully feeling. The first one to calm down a bit was Zushi. He watched with a bitter smile as Gon continued laughing almost painfully clutching his stomach. He was always the easiest person to make laugh, it was contagious.

“S-Sorry, I just can’t s-stop,” Gon felt his laughter become unstoppable, his eyes widening a bit, “no seriously I-I can’t s-stop!” he giggled on endlessly while covering his face. Zushi frowned a bit now, gently reaching out and moving Gon’s hands away from his face. He saw tears streaming down his friend’s wide eyes.

“Gon..?” the words were soft and kind and that only made the tears stream down even quicker. Without another word Zushi wrapped his arms around his friend tightly engulfing him in one of his signature hugs. Zushi really was the best hugger, Gon never failed to brag about it to literally everyone. They stood there for a few minutes in silence as Gon tried his best to get a hold of himself. This was… embarrassing.

Mito stood at the doorway frowning a bit. She knew how difficult the move would be for Gon, but she never expected this. He was always such a strong boy, it sometimes made her forget that he was still only a boy. Gon was only 14 years old after all. Although he acted so mature and responsible around Mito and his grandmother. It was a bittersweet feeling knowing that he was still just a kid. A flashing memory of Ging made Mito’s frown deepen more. Gon was nothing like him.

Before Mito could enter the room and comfort Gon, her mother held her back with a hand. Mito looked down at her and saw a gentle smile on her lips. Now was not the time. Gon needed his friend. Mito understood immediately and simply picked up the box Zushi had dropped earlier, walking away silently.

Gon finally pulled away from the comforting hug, a small sniffle escaping him, he gave Zushi a gentle smile, “thanks Zushi, it was so weird… I felt like I was suffocating for a second- when I was laughing- and it wasn’t funny anymore-“

Zushi stopped him from finishing his rant, because that is exactly what it was, a rant, “It’s okay Gon, I know how much you’ll miss Whale Island. It’s been your home since forever.”

He was right. This was his home. His life. His everything. Whale Island was the last place he saw his dad, despite not having any memory of it. This was where his dad left him with Aunt Mito all those years ago. This was where Aunt Mito worked her butt off trying to raise him, and where she cried at night because his dad had abandoned them. This was where his grandma made him so many delicious meals and tucked him into bed at night. This Island was where all his memories lived – where they will always live – and he was leaving them here, along with his best friend Zushi.

His home.

He was leaving for good.

“Yeah…my home since forever,” the words were mumbled in such a small tone that Zushi could barely hear them, “…my only home.”
Zushi smiled.

“You better believe it! This is your home forever, Gon.” It was obvious that Zushi was putting on a brave face for his friend. He was also sad. His best friend was moving far away – he was moving to some big city – and seeing him again would be… complicated. The Island didn’t have many places with internet, and Zushi certainly didn’t have it at his home. “Never forget us…”

Gon’s grin widened and he jumped on Zushi, his entire body crashing them onto the ground, Zushi cried out in surprise, “You better not forget me, either! Keep the secret hide-out safe, and don’t forget to water our rock garden –“

“Rocks don’t have to be watered! –“

“Still!” Gon stuck his tongue out playfully, “don’t be sad… we will see each other again!”

It was a promise, and Zushi knew it. The look in Gon’s eyes told him it was a promise. He felt a strong sense of relief because his friend always kept his promises. Zushi knew he would see his friend again, and hopefully, soon. “Good!” he gave a big thumbs up.

Mito finally walked inside when the moment was over, “Look at you two! Lazing around on the floor! If you don’t start helping, me and grandma are gonna beat you!” she picked up another box, this one carrying some heavy tools, and walked off with a playful grin. She could hear Zushi and Gon struggle to stand up and hurry to pick up any boxes left. Cute kids.

Finally, after many hours of lifting, the house was empty.

“Look at her, she looks just like when I bought her.” Mito spoke while staring at the now barren house. The concrete walls were worn and dark, and the windows shut closed. The front door that once held a hand-drawn welcome sign made by Gon was now bleak and gray. Zushi and Gon stood quietly behind her. Memories of them playing hunter outside made them smile softly.

They stood there for only five minutes. The plane would be departing soon, and they would miss it if they don’t head out soon. Mito knew this, and still allowed Gon the time he needed to properly say his goodbye.

The plane ride was quiet.

It was Gon’s first plane ride ever, and he sat quietly in his seat. The window beside him was covered by clouds and a beautiful honey sunset. The warmth melted together across the sky, and Gon only stared in silence. Would the sky look this pleasant in Yorknew city? He had to wonder. This was his last Whale Island sunset, ever. These were his last Whale Island clouds, ever. Still, Gon refused to cry. He already cried once. With Zushi. Now he was with Aunt Mito and grandma, so crying wasn’t allowed. He could handle this. He told Mito he could handle this, and he would.

There are so many things to look forward to. Their new house. The new animals. His new school – his first public school, ever – that one was especially exciting. All the new friends he would certainly make. None as close as Zushi, obviously, but close enough. Close enough to help him make new memories. The food would probably be different too! Now he was starting to see the up-side of things. All he needed was some positive thoughts. Change wasn’t always bad, just scary. That was what Aunt Mito told him. He would be scared for a little while, but things would soon become less scary.

Good.

Gon put on his old earphones and put the volume on his ipod to max.

Nothing really matters to me

Any way the wind blows.

Chapter Text

Togashi High.

Gon gripped his backpack straps tightly. The building was significantly bigger than he had first imagined. Well, he really meant to say buildings, because it was multiple buildings towering beside each other. The path outside the front building wrapped around the entire school grounds, like some sort of track. Colorful cherry blossom trees were scattered across the grounds as well, creating the illusion of some sort of shoujo anime scene. Gon gulped audibly. He could already feel his nerves returning.

This was the very first public school he’s ever attended.

Gon has always been homeschooled. Whale Island isn’t exactly known for having many schools, especially well-known schools, so most kids were homeschooled on the island. There were only a handful of kids, so it was kind of pointless. Gon could probably name and count the number of kids he knew on one hand.

This place was… definitely bigger than Aunt Mito’s house.

He had already anticipated as much, but never expected to be this overwhelmed.

One deep breathe in, and another one out, his mind went back to Aunt Mito’s words this morning.

Change is always scary – you are strong Gon, never forget that.

It was enough to shake away his fear. Without allowing more negative thoughts to infiltrate, Gon followed the school map towards the front building. It was there where he would meet with the principle and vice principle for a brief welcoming. Classes were already in session so he would be late to is first period already. There was no way around it. His teacher was already informed, so that shouldn’t be an issue. Still, Gon felt a lump forming in his gut.

“Welcome to Togashi High, you must be Gon Freecss.”

Gon was face-to-face with a very old man. This must be the principle. Principle Netero. That was the name on the desk tag. Gon nodded mutely. He wanted to speak up and be his usual happy-go-lucky self, but the lump in his gut was still there, and it stopped him.

Netero noticed this.

“Nice to meet you too, hehe,” Netero placed his paperwork down and gave Gon a mischievous smile, “what? Never seen an old man before?”

Gon nearly fell over at the comment. “Wh-What!?”

Netero laughed aloud, “Why so stiff? There’s no need to be nervous here Gon, you’ve already made a friend,” he moved a bit more forward and pointed to himself, “that would be me, in case you were wondering who I’m referring to.”

The laughter that irrupted from the principle made Gon’s shoulders relax a bit, and a chuckle bubble up from inside him. This old man was nice. At least from what Gon knows so far, he appears to be nice, and that was enough. A relieving sigh escaped Gon. “I was afraid you thought I was quiet because you were so old!” Gon laughed while finally letting go of his backpack straps. His hands were sweaty from holding on too tightly.

“So, you admit that you think I’m old?” Netero asked with a serious expression that made Gon only laugh louder.

“I-It’s impossible to deny!”

This time Netero gasped, “How could you say something so brave yet so controversial?”

After only a few minutes of conversation Gon was already much more relaxed. His hands weren’t so tense, and his breathing was even. Already the day was looking to be a good one. He hasn’t actually stepped in a class yet, still, it was good to know that the school was run by such a friendly man. That meant that Gon had someone to trust if somehow things did go sour – something he dreadfully hoped would never happen.

After they finished some of Gon’s emergency contact paperwork, Netero guided him to the front hallway. There stood another man, much taller than both of them, dressed in a professional suit. His hair was sleek and dark, and his eyes were hidden behind a pair of sharp glasses. Netero introduced him as Knov, the vice principle. Gon shook hands with him and gave a bright smile, already back in full confidence mode. Knov returned the gesture with a much gentler smile.

“I will be escorting you to your first classroom, that will be your homeroom, meaning that important events and exams will always be held in that classroom for you, do you understand?” Knov explained on their way to his first class, which was English with someone named Biscuit.

Gon nodded, despite being a little confused. He thought there would only be a single classroom and teacher, but according to his schedule, he had many. Would he be moving class after every lesson? The thought was strange to him. It would definitely take some getting used to. Apparently Biscuit was his homeroom teacher. The name sounded a bit silly, but he wouldn’t judge until meeting them face-to-face. Gon was a weird name too, so he really shouldn’t be too judgmental.

His first class was all the way down the front hallway, which was good, because that was easy enough to memorize for tomorrow. He really didn’t wanna ask for help again tomorrow.

Knov barely had enough time to knock before Gon slid the door open himself and rushed inside the already busy classroom. He could hear kids talking and laughing, and his excitement got the best of him. The classroom was divided into three large sections. Each section had a row of two desks where students sat beside their partners. At the very front of the classroom, beside the entry Gon had rushed into, stood who he assumed was the professor – Biscuit. Biscuit Kreuger. Her eyes were wide and… pink? Gon nearly fell over with all the excitement inside him.

Silence.

Now that was frightening.

Knov still stood in the hall in front of the entry. He gave Biscuit a thumbs up and turned to walk away. His job was done.

Finally, realization shone in her eyes, and she smiled, “You must be Gon,” she said in a cutesy voice, “you startled me for a second, my apologies.”

“N-No! Uh…my apologies,” Gon felt his cheeks heat up alarmingly, and he bowed respectfully, “I got a little hyper excited.” He admitted quite shamefully. The embarrassment only worsened when he heard people snicker and whisper. His hands were in tight fists beside him, how could he be so stupid!

The professor could clearly see his dread. Her eyes softened a bit. “All is good, Gon,” she closed the expo marker she had been writing notes with and placed it on her desk, “Please, call me Bisky! I’m not one for formalities.” Her tone sweetened considerably. Thank the heavens his homeroom teacher was understanding.

“Yes, Bisky!” Gon complied easily, he stood up straight again and smiled.

Biscuit – Bisky – gave Gon a confident thumbs up. “Great! Now let’s introduce you to the rest of these brats!” She faced the rest of the class and suddenly there was complete silence again. All whispering and giggling died down, and all eyes were on her. Gon gulped. That was unexpected. At least she wasn’t giving him that serious look.

Then, she gave him a look. All eyes were on him now. The look she gave him was urging him to go ahead and introduce himself. His throat felt like cotton.

“Ah- I-I’m…” silence.

Bisky rose an unimpressed eyebrow.

“My name is Gon Freecss,” He began again, a shy smile on his lips, “Hi.”

That was it.

Bisky almost fell over. “Everyone greet Gon!” Her voice resonated across the classroom, and students began to immediately say hello in unison. It kind of creeped him out.

When the awkward welcome was over, Bisky once again turned his way, “Alright Gon, we unfortunately only have a limited number of seats available since it’s already a bit late into the year, but feel free to pick whichever fancies you most!” Her attention was back on the whiteboard, and her hands were once again around the pink expo marker. The class continued without interruption. It was almost as if he wasn’t even there anymore.

Gon’s eyes scanned the classroom for empty seats. She was right, there really wasn’t much left at all. He found an empty seat at the very back beside the trash can. It was the only seat without a partner. Nope. The only other available seat was beside an older looking man. Was he a student? No way. He might be another teacher supervising the classroom… probably. But it did look like he was taking notes. At least that seat was better than the one with no partner and a trash can. He sighed, already certain of which seat he would take.

Until another student came rushing into class.

“Apologies Professor Bisky! The Student Council meeting went on longer than planned since we have the homecoming right around the corner.” The student appeared to be a girl around the same age and height as Gon. Maybe a little taller. She had short straight blond hair and wide cat-like eyes. Gon blushed a bit and looked away.

Bisky didn’t even bat an eye, she continued her notes and waved the girl off, “It’s all good Kurapika, you already know I’m aware of your schedule, no need to get all worked up.”

That seemed to be enough to calm the girl down. She gave Bisky a small bow before running to her seat. The exact same seat Gon was ready to take. Fantastic.

He watched the girl silently place her backpack beside the older looking man. They whispered to each other, and suddenly, her eyes landed on Gon, shock evident on her face. She must’ve just noticed him. Gon quickly looked away. That was awkward. Instead of standing there like an idiot for longer, with a sigh of resignation, Gon took the seat at the very back of the classroom. Beside the trash can, of course. The odor was immediately evident. He hoped he wouldn’t smell bad too for the rest of the day.

The lecture didn’t last for much longer. Gon had already missed the first half of the class, so there was only about 40 minutes left when he arrived. Keeping up with notes was difficult because he was sitting all the way at the back, and Bisky didn’t slow down for even a second. Gon found himself scrambling to write down whatever pathetic word he could, until the board was whipped clean, and the next set of notes began. At the end of the lecture, his journal was full of random words that made no sense. His frustration was clear. He shut his journal and put it away, trying his best to will away the negative thoughts that mumbled inside his head.

You’ll never survive here.

Nobody wants you here.

You’re pathetic.

Stop trying.

Just give up.

Gon almost forgot he was still in class until his name was called out. Just as quick as the thoughts came, they were gone. His head shot up to look at the professor. She was smiling kindly. “Y-Yes?”

“A student guide. Do you need one?” It wasn’t really a question, but a statement. The answer was obvious. Gon did need a guide. Still, he was too embarrassed to admit it. He refused to burden someone. He had a school map, so finding his next class shouldn’t be too much of a challenge. Still, he would hate to be late to his next class, too. This time he wouldn’t have an excuse. His silence was answer enough for Bisky.

“Any volunteers?” She asked the class, and everyone looked away. Nobody wanted to tour around some new kid. Bisky sighed dramatically. “Fine, I guess we’ll do this the hard way.”

Please don’t do this the hard way, Gon whispered to himself. The last thing he wanted to do was upset someone. It was his first day! He was trying to make friends! If nobody wanted to be his guide, he could guide himself. Please!

“Time to pick the person that looks least interested,” Bisky scanned the suddenly eager looking crowd, until her eyes ran over a certain albino boy. His eyes were anywhere but on hers, and he seemed to be texting someone on his smart phone. Not a care in the world, really. She felt bad for pairing Gon up with someone who so clearly did not want anything to do with the current situation. Still, she wanted to punish the albino boy. He needed a good lesson. “Killua.”

No response.

The student sitting beside Killua, a boy with long brown hair and very thick eyebrows, shoved Killua a bit aggressively to get his attention. Finally, clear blue eyes stared up in distaste, a small frown on his lips. “What?”

Bisky bristled. “You will be Gon’s student guide!”

No response, again.

“I’m gonna be what now?”

The guy beside him hit Killua against the head, “you’re the new kid’s guide, asshole!”

The class was silent. Only minutes before the bell rang for passing period. Whatever passing period was, Gon thought silently. His mind was too preoccupied with the fact that he was paired up with someone who so obviously did not want to help him. Blue orbs met hazel ones, and there was an instant shock down Gon’s back.

Killua.

The name felt…weird.

Almost forbidden.

Gon couldn’t explain it, really. Somehow, he felt like he was meant to meet Killua here, and now. Those crystal eyes shone dully, snow hair a moppy mess. There was no resentment in his stare, but simple annoyance. He really did not want to guide him around the school. Gon gulped. His mouth went dry. He wants to make a good impression. He wants to impress Killua. He felt an urge to get his approval… in some way. Gon gave the other a soft smile.

Killua’s eyes widened slightly, a scarlet color reaching his ears, and he quickly turned away.

Had Gon already messed up?

The bell rang across the school gathering everyone’s attention in seconds. Students swiftly gathered their things and rushed out the classroom in groups. People whispered and giggled past Gon, some giving him strange looks before leaving. The same blond girl from earlier, Kurapika, gave him a soft sympathetic smile before leaving alongside the older looking student. Gon wanted to smile back, or wave, but Killua suddenly stood in front of him, blocking his view. It caught him off guard.

“Gon-“

“Gon Freecss!” the words came out before Gon could think, and a burning embarrassment covered his face. Seriously… what is wrong with him?

“Freecss…” Killua repeated. “Nice.”

Nice? Was he referring to his last name… or what? Gon was reading too much into this. It was just one word, after all. He probably meant nice to know. Nice to meet you. Nice, but I couldn’t care less. Nice, but why did you interrupt me-

“Are you ready, or?”

Right. Gon scrambled to gather his things, standing up rather abruptly. His green camo backpack was now back on his shoulders, a nervous smile on his cheeks. Killua wasn’t sure how to react to that. Not really. All he did was smirk. Gon was weird.

“Weirdo.”

Gon almost tripped at the name.

Chapter Text

“Weirdo.”

Gon almost tripped at the name.

That certainly wasn’t what he wanted Killua’s first word to be. At least not towards him. Gon was almost one hundred percent sure that his face was beet red now. How could it not be after that comment? Surely Killua meant no harm… he had to be joking around. This just wasn’t the environment Gon was accustomed to. His only real friend his age was Zushi, and Zushi never called him a weirdo. At least Gon hoped he never did.

“I’m sorry...?” That was the best and worst response Gon could come up with. He seriously needed to expand his vocabulary.

“Don’t be, I’m just kidding around,” Killua slung his own backpack over his shoulder, it looked like a popular brand name, “do you have your schedule?”

Right, his schedule. Gon zipped open his backpack and pulled out the neatly folded sheet. It was honestly gibberish to him. A bunch of sections numbers and hallway letters. This place was so big that each hallway had its own letter to make navigation easier. The classroom numbers therefore had a letter before the number, to represent which hallway it’s in. At least that was what Knov had explained to Gon earlier this morning. Gon still didn’t quite understand, but he handed the paper over to Killua, who would probably interpret it better than he did.

Killua studied the schedule carefully, humming as he did, his eyes then shifted back to Gon, “We have 10 minutes to get from class to class, your next class is with Professor Mackernasey – he teaches biology so lucky you,” Killua playfully stuck his tongue out, “you any good at science?”

Gon was not any good at all. In science, or a number of other courses.

“No, not really,” Gon visibly deflated, “but I can do a handstand!” his eyes gleamed excitedly.

Killua laughed, and for a second, Gon faltered. He really enjoyed the sound of that laughter.

“I don’t think Professor Mackernasey will allow you to perform handstands instead of completing assignments,” Killua handed the schedule back to Gon, his eyes mischievous and full of mirth, “but I guess that’s impressive – won’t believe it till I see it, though.”

Now Gon was wearing a big stupid grin. His face hurt from how big it was. “Place and time!”

This time Bisky turned to look at them, their voices a bit too loud, “You two get going already! You’ll be late to second period!”

Gon pouted a bit. He hated getting in trouble. Killua simply shrugged and gestured towards the door, encouraging Gon to follow him. Which he did. The two boys left the classroom and slid the door shut behind them. The first to speak was Killua, his voice dripping with annoyance.

“Old hag…”

“Old? Bisky doesn’t look very old!” Gon proclaimed.

“That’s the scary part – she’s super old – who knows how many surgeries she’s had!” laughter spilled out as he spoke, a smirk in place. He eyed Gon’s shocked reaction and nodded.

Both boys walked in somewhat comfortable silence. Killua walked ahead, already knowing the pathways well, and held his hands behind his head in a carefree manner. Gon walked a little further behind. He wondered if they had the same class together. Maybe Killua could tell him a little about Professor Mackernasey. If the class is difficult, or if the notes are as fast paced as Bisky’s are. He hoped they weren’t, but maybe her notes aren’t as fast paced as he thought. Gon had never taken notes like that. He always took notes from textbooks, next to Aunt Mito, and she would explain everything at his pace.

Things are different now.

“So Gon,” Killua’s voice was loud enough for Gon to hear, “Besides handstands, what other stuff can you do?”

Now was his chance to impress – Gon could feel it – he sped his pace a little so he could walk beside Killua, “Well, since you asked, “ Gon smiled brightly, “I can do cartwheels, and the splits! Those are easy, though – I’m not sure if climbing trees counts as anything, but I can do that. I’m really good at bird calls, and I can name a bunch of fish – oh, I can fish! -“

“Whoa, what are you, Tarzan?” Killua asked in shock.

“No- I mean obviously not, but I was a kid troupe back on Whale Island-“

“I’m sorry, you were a what on where?” Killua eyed him carefully considering his words.

Gon noticed his confusion and blushed a bit, “A kid troupe… it’s like an outdoor survival group thingy… like what’s it called-“

“A boy scout?” Killua offered incredulously.  

“Yup! Those, except on Whale Island, which is where I used to live.”

Killua couldn’t believe his ears. Kid Troupe? That had to be the most ridiculous name ever, for anything in existence. Who came up with that – and better yet – who approved that? It’s like a Great Value version of the boy scouts. He honestly had to hold in his laughter.

“So… you lived on an island? That probably means the city is way over your head, huh?”

“I mean… yeah kind of.” Gon admitted in a small voice. He just moved not even a day ago. The ride to their new house was… terrifying. But exhilarating. The buildings were so tall, and there was so much noise. Just noise. It came from everywhere, there was no specific source for the noise. People strolling across the cemented paths, and vendors yelling aloud to catch anyone’s attention. Lights shone from every way, Gon could taste the excitement. Aunt Mito had her own wide grin to match his.

He was way over his head here, but in every good way.

Finally, after minutes of traveling down different hallways, they reached Gon’s next classroom. The name Mackernasey was written over the wooden door. Both boys stood awkwardly, until Killua broke the silence.

“Class starts in like 5 minutes… I have a different class.”

Gon hid his disappointment behind a smile, “Thanks for walking me here, I think I’m already getting comfortable with the school layout.” It was a lie and Killua knew it, but neither said anything about it.

“See you at lunch?” It was an offer that Gon couldn’t decline. He nodded excitedly.

“Then I can show you my handstand- oh, and all that other stuff too, in case you don’t believe me!”

“Yeah, for sure.”

Killua turned his back to Gon, striding down the smooth hallway, his class was only a few turns away from here. That left Gon standing uncomfortably alone in front of his next class. He was already missing Killua’s presence, which was weird, because he just met him. It might be because Gon missed having a friend. He missed Zushi. Having someone to talk with and get excited with – those were the simple things that made Gon happy.

Sliding the door open a lot slower than he did at Bisky’s classroom, Gon walked into Professor Mackernasey’s class. The number of students was significantly lower. The first person Gon did notice was the blond girl from his previous class with Bisky. She sat near the front, alone, and calmly writing something down in a notebook. Kurapika was the name Gon could remember Bisky call her earlier.

Professor Mackernasey seemed to finally get his attention, though.

“Ah, are you Gon Freecss?” The professor’s voice was gentle and inviting.

Was it really that obvious? Gon couldn’t help but wonder how much new kid vibes he was surrounded by. “Yeah, that’s me!”

“Welcome to Togashi High, it’s truly an honor to have you attend our school,” Gon couldn’t help but notice the teacher’s height, and wonder why he wasn't the P.E teacher instead, “Please take any available seat in my classroom and ask any classmate for prior notes – today is a study session day, so I allow my students to study their notes from previous lessons.”

So, any empty seat was available. Gon already has an idea of where he wants to sit.

After hearing out what other information the professor had for him and bowing respectfully, Gon quickly turned towards the blond girl and marched her way. He wants more friends. This was his goal. She seemed nice a while ago, so now was his opportunity to reach out and make yet another friend. If she isn’t interested, he could simply walk away and take another seat in class. No big deal.

“Hi, I’m Gon Freecss, is this seat taken?”

Silver eyes glanced his way, “No, it’s free,” Kurapika moved over a bit to make more space for his belongings, “Hello, my name is Kurapika. Kurapika Kurta.”

Gon beamed.

In record time he had all this stuff on the desk and his backpack beside Kurapika’s, between their feet. His hands were fidgeting, filled to the brim with excitement. He was already making a second friend today – Zushi would be so proud of him. Gon could already imagine his friend’s squealing voice of happiness.

“You’re smiling really hard.” Kurapika mentioned with a grin.

Scarlet reached his ears, and Gon nearly faltered at the observation, “S-Sorry! I just noticed we have the same homeroom, you probably don’t remember me-“

“I do remember you, Gon.” The simple statement had Gon blushing even more, if possible.

“Oh yeah…? That’s nice,” Gon muttered, “I just thought – you know, since I sit way at the back – maybe you forgot.”

That seemed to get Kurapika’s attention, and she turned to Gon with an apologetic smile, “About that, sorry for taking your seat – well, the seat you were planning on choosing – I’m not usually late to class.”

Sputtering, Gon flailed his hands dramatically, “No! I mean, yes, I was going to sit there – but I didn’t bring it up to make you apologize, it was your seat first and I really don’t mind sitting in the back – it isn’t so bad-“

“What about the trash can?”

“I-I don’t have to get up and throw away my trash now, right?”

Kurapika couldn’t help the laughter that followed. Gon had no need to explain himself at all, and yet he insisted on making Kurapika feel better. It was cute.

“I suppose you’re the lucky one, huh?”

Gon chuckled a bit, his dimples showing across freckled cheeks, “I-I guess so…”

The two fell in comfortable silence. Kurapika still taking notes from the textbook, and Gon sitting with a silly grin on his face, no notes in sight. Kurapika noticed this and pushed her journal closer on Gon’s desk. The journal page was color coded and organized in various different sections, each section containing bulleted and even highlighted points. The level of dedication was evident, and Gon gaped. His eyes were the size of hoops.

“I can make copies if it’s too much to copy down.” The offer was kind, and Gon sat in shock.

“N-No! I can copy it down myself! I write fast! Thank you, I’ll make it up to you.” It was a promise. These notes would absolutely help Gon out a lot. He was already poor in almost every academic subject; science was no exception. With some study time every night, Gon could keep up. Especially with these notes. He scrambled to write down each word in his own journal. If only his handwriting weren’t so awful.

“Consider it a welcome gift,” Kurapika turned the journal page, Gon already finishing the first one, “I’m the student council president, so it is partly my duty to make new students feel welcome.”

Gon was speaking with the student council president? A true honor. He thought he couldn’t admire Kurapika more, but he did now. “That’s incredible, Kurapika!”

A shy pink color painted Kurapika’s cheeks, “It’s really nothing, I need as many extracurricular activities on my resume as possible if I’m planning on graduating early. Student Council is something I genuinely enjoy, considering I have strong leadership skills.”

Maybe Kurapika wasn’t trying to brag, but Gon became more and more astounded each time they said something. How could someone be so busy and talented, and still have time to take these notes? Were the notes this detailed for Bisky’s class, too? Gon needs to take notes on how Kurapika takes notes – then he won’t need to bother Kurapika.

“What other clubs are you in?” Gon’s eyes shone curiously at Kurapika.

“Well, besides Student Council, I’m in THP, which is the Togashi High Paper – just a simple student newsletter that comes out every month. I actually participate in that club with Leorio-“

“Who’s that?”

“Leorio is my boyfriend,” Kurapika explained simply, “He’s in charge of the paper’s layout and printing – kind of a tech guru.” Her voice softened a bit, eyes warm with adoration. Gon felt his own heart skip a beat.

“You have a boyfriend!” The news was exciting for him, and Kurapika could tell by the way he almost jumped out his seat.

“Yes, I believe you’ve seen him, we sit beside each other in Professor Bisky’s class.”

That definitely caught Gon off guard. That older looking student was dating Kurapika! That explained why they were whispering together, and why they left class together too. Everything was adding up. They didn’t seem like a couple, but then again Gon wasn’t an expert in relationships, so he really wouldn’t know. Now he had a name for the really tall guy. Leorio.

“I’m glad I didn’t take your seat then – you probably like sitting next to your boyfriend.” Gon felt weird talking about relationships, he’s never been in one, and they made him feel all giddy and tingly. He didn’t want to seem childish in front of Kurapika though, so he pushed back the feeling. He was old enough to talk about this now.

Kurapika shrugged, “he’s alright… a bit overbearing, but I can handle him. I do wear the pants in the relationship”

Gon giggled, his shoulders shaking beside him, “I can’t imagine anyone else wearing them.”

They spoke for the remainder of class. Gon finally finished his note copying five minutes before the bell, his hand almost falling off because of how much he wrote. His journal had 10 full pages of detailed notes, and Kurapika promised him more notes next class. They packed up their belongings, laughing about how many fried fish Gon could eat in a single sitting – he insisted the number was in the double digits, but Kurapika bet his limit was no more than six. The bell rang mid conversation, rudely interrupting their number exchange.

“I’ll text you later if I need any help reading my own notes.” Gon assured with a grin.

Kurapika hummed approvingly, picking up her backpack and walking alongside Gon, “I’m confident you will, no offense, but your writing is completely illegible.”

Gon stuck his tongue out with a mock pout, “Meanie.”

They walked out the classroom together, lunch period already starting. “I have an important THP meeting this lunch period, so unfortunately this is where we part ways,” Kurapika bowed a bit, “It has been a pleasure meeting you Gon, I hope we can spend more time together soon.”

Gon sputtered, cheeks blazing, “N-No need to do all that, I had fun together – that’s what friends do!”

Friends.

The word made him feel warm.

He made another friend.

Kurapika smiled. “Yes, that is what friends do. See you tomorrow, Gon.”

With a final wave, Kurapika walked further down the hallway. They turned and entered the boy’s restroom.

Boy’s restroom.

Boy.

Killua had a lot of questions for Gon when he walked into the cafeteria with a beet red face.

Chapter Text

Distractions are not allowed.

Friendships are not allowed.

Relationships are not allowed.

Only… perfection.

He carried these rules like a cross everywhere he went.

School is no exception.

“See you at lunch?” It was an offer that Killua let out without hesitation.

“Then I can show you my handstand- oh, and all that other stuff too, in case you don’t believe me!”

“Yeah, for sure.”

He knew this was against basically… everything. He usually spent lunch lazing around the library or taking a nap on the rooftop. Simple pleasures, really. Now he would be hanging out with another kid – a kid his age – outside on the courtyard. It should fill him with anxiety knowing that his family could, and most likely would, find out. Without a doubt in his mind, his father would reprimand him as soon as he stepped foot into the house this evening. Still, all he felt was excitement.

Pure adrenaline.

Maybe this was the high the longed for – the high of rebellion. A raging rebellion against his parents, against his shitty family, and the shitty rules they force on him. Oh, they can just go suck on those rules for all he cared. Killua could already imagine the look of horror on his mother’s face if she ever heard him say such a fowl thing. A cheeky smirk spread across his lips. She would certainly shriek loud enough for the entire neighborhood to be alarmed. Ears would bleed from how high her scream would be. Fuck that, I don’t care if she pulls her hair out, this is my life.

Except it wasn’t. Not his life alone, at least.

Alluka.

His fists tightened, teeth grinding together. His sister. He needed to keep it together a little longer, long enough to get himself and his sister the hell out of that house. If he started acting out now, things could get messy for her. That was the last thing he wanted. Alluka… has been through enough. She didn’t have to witness a fight. Killua wouldn’t allow it.

For now, he’ll keep his mouth shut. Play by their rules. It was only a matter of time before he could escape that place, hand-in-hand, with Alluka safe.

“Killua!” His eyes shot up and immediately spotted Gon’s spiked hair.

“Hey, what’s up?” He tried acting casual, clearing his head of any tormenting thoughts, Gon didn’t seem to notice. He appeared to be distracted with his own tormenting thoughts.

“N-Nothing! Why would you ask me… what’s up…” Gon’s voice grew suspiciously low and peaked Killua’s interest.

“Why are you all pink, huh?” Killua moved in closer to the shorter boy, eyes shining with humor, “did you… walk into the girl’s restroom on accident?” He was obviously just kidding around, but the look of absolute dread and horror that came to Gon’s face almost had Killua laughing his ass off.

“N-No! That’s crazy!” Gon cried out in embarrassment, his cheeks were so red they hurt.

Killua didn’t buy it one bit, his eyes narrowing, “hmm… spit it out then, why are you blushing like a virgin?”

Gon chocked.

“Like a w-what!?”

This time Killua really did laugh his ass off. Gon was so easy to rile up! It was too fun. “It’s a joke, just tell me why you’re so worked up, huh?”

Gon fidgeted nervously. He couldn’t possibly tell Killua he misgendered the Student Council President – that was too humiliating. The only thing keeping him sane was the lucky fact that Kurapika never actually found out about his misgendering. Gon could only imagine the uncomfortable situation he avoided. Who was he to assume anyone’s gender, anyway? Aunt Mito taught him better than that! Honestly, this was just too embarrassing to share with Killua. They haven’t even known each other for a day. All his nervous fidgeting earned himself a poke on the chest from Killua.

“Earth to Gon – hello! Did you actually walk into the girl’s restroom or-“

“I-I did not! Just forget it… please.”

The pleading tone in Gon’s voice had Killua letting go of the topic altogether. He wasn’t sure what exactly could have made Gon so shy – but it really was none of his business. If he was uncomfortable sharing, Killua was just fine forgetting about it. It was probably something silly anyway – which did make it even more interesting – but oh well.

“Fine, fine, whatever – loser,”

“Hey!”

“I’m kidding! Can’t you tell the difference?”

Gon huffed, both his cheeks filling with air, he crossed both arms childishly. No, he could not tell the difference. But he wouldn’t admit that to Killua.

Killua could not take him seriously with that look. It was like a cupcake being angry at him – not threatening at all, and adorable. “Alright, come on Gon stop being a baby – don’t you have some Tarzan moves to show me?”

That completely changed his attitude. His once pouting face was now beaming with excitement. He threw his hands up and did a little happy dance, his hips shaking slightly from side to side, and his feet running in place. “You’re right! I have so much to show you – so many tricks-“

“What are you, a puppy?” Killua joked, both his hands now put up to calm down Gon.

Gon didn’t even blink at the playful insult, opting instead to zip open his backpack and reveal a neatly packed lunchbox, “We can share this outside – unless – did you bring your own lunch?”

Killua gawked at the perfectly organized meal inside Gon’s green lunch box. He had what appeared to be a tuna sandwich, a side of cut strawberries and pineapple, and two oatmeal cookies. Killua was… jealous. His family hired professional chefs to cater them, so he’s never tried a homecooked meal like Gon has.

“I-I usually buy something out the vending machines for lunch…” he muttered uncomfortably.

This time Gon gawked. “The vending machine only sells candy bars and chips!” he cried out.

“My favorite.” Killua shrugged.

This required Gon’s immediate attention, “you are sharing this with me!” It wasn’t a suggestion, but an order.

Both boys walked side by side until reaching the courtyard entrance. The school courtyard was surprisingly big. Gon thought the city would only have huge building, with little to no nature at all, but the courtyard was a decent size. Much like the front of the property, trees were scattered neatly across the ground. There was a small section with a playground-like area for the students – swing set, slides, and etc. Numerous water fountains were placed around as well, which Gon greatly appreciated considering he hydrated himself a lot while playing outdoors. He would usually take at least 10 bottles of water with him when he went camping at night on Whale Island.

Health was always a big concern for him. Hydration was key!

Deciding on taking the lead, Gon pointed towards the playground-esque area, a wide grin in place, “I see land! This way, captain!”

“Wouldn’t the captain be saying that? Not… whoever you are-“

“Follow me!” Gon cut him off while running towards his destination, “last one there only gets half a cookie!”

That scared Killua. His feet were suddenly moving as quick as humanely possible, beating Gon by only seconds. It was honestly incredible. Only his love for sweets made such a feat possible.

“H-How?! I had a head start and everything!” Gon whined with a pout, huffing tiredly.

“Don’t start something you have no chance winning – but since I’m such a generous guy, I’ll settle with only a single cookie for both – as it should be, anyway.”

Gon seemed to accept this agreement. “How humble!” For a moment, he forgot both cookies were his to begin with.

This childish competition had both boys laughing quite happily. They were both teenagers – so a playground game shouldn’t bring them this much excitement – yet it did. Minutes later, they sat side by side on the bench, shoulders touching, while enjoying Gon’s packed lunch. The bright pineapple and strawberries were sweet, and Killua nearly ate them all if Gon hadn’t snatched the last piece from his hand. Gon ended up giving his cookie to Killua anyway because he saw how smiley he was after eating the first cookie. Maybe feeding into his sugar addiction wasn’t a good idea, but he didn’t mind at the moment. Whatever kept that bright smile on his friend was good in his book.

“Hey, Gon… why did you move away from Whale Island?” The question was simple enough, but Killua still hesitated when asking. His curiosity got the best of him, though.

“Hmm…” Gon thought for an answer that would make sense, because in all honesty, there were many reasons – some were personal, while others not so much – he opted with an in-between answer, “Aunt Mito was running low on money… she’s a hair stylist, but there aren’t many customers on Whale Island. Eventually the few customers that were loyal just weren’t enough to pay the rent… or even food sometimes, so yeah.”

“A big city like Yorknew is much more profitable – at least that’s the idea. She also wanted to make sure my dad never came back for me on Whale Island… because she kinda hates him.” The last bit came out before he could shut his mouth, and he wanted to bang his head on the ground for bringing something so awkward into the conversation.

He expected Killua to laugh at him, or mock him, because that’s what most teens did when they found out his dad abandoned him. For some reason, they found it funny. Like he was at fault. Shockingly, the laughter never came. Gon took a hesitant look up and was met with an understanding gaze. No sinister smirk – not even a chuckle. Just sympathy. It was kind of refreshing.

Gon wasn’t haunted by his absent father. He learned to accept his abandonment. It was a sad, but simple reality.

When he was much younger, he did cry for his father. It only made sense, after all. The nightmares that plagued him were still vivid sometimes – waking up in a panicked sweat. Those days were over, though. Gon just knew that his father wasn’t worth his agony. Aunt Mito held him at night, when he was only five years old, and cradled him close. She whispered reassuring and loving words into his ear, until finally, sleep would return to him. Aunt Mito is his family. His grandma, Abe, is his family. He doesn’t need anyone else.

Even if his father did someday come looking for him – for whatever reason – Gon could no longer see him as a father. He was nothing but a stranger. There was no resentment or love for him.

So yes, it was a breath of fresh air for Killua to understand him. A silent, but strong understanding.

“So, Tarzan… can you put your money where your mouth is, or are you all talk?”

Finally – a change in topic.

Gon finished his last half of tuna sandwich and jump onto his feet. Luckily, he had picked out the perfect outfit for today – a simple lime green tank matched with a pair of his old cargo pants. He always wore the same white lace-up tennis shoes. Moving around would be easy in this outfit. “You name it, and I’ll prove it!”

Killua hummed for a moment, considering the request. “Why don’t you start with that handstand-“

Gon didn’t hesitate for a second, and before Killua could even finish his sentence, he was backflipping onto a handstand – almost falling over from how fast he acted, but quickly balancing himself on both hands. He could hear Killua choke on his saliva.

“What are you, a gymnast or something? You scared the crap outta me!” Killua cried out with an accusing finger.

Gon merely laughed, walking around on both hands with little effort, “I told you it was easy! On Whale Island, I would play handstand soccer with the other kids!”

Handstand Soccer?

Sounds like a form of torture. Didn’t blood rush to the head when doing a handstand? Gon couldn’t possibly run around upside down for an entire soccer match. It was inhumane. That would also mean his eyes were adjusted to seeing upside down – which was just – yeah, no way. He had to be joking. Killua was starting to regret challenging Gon.

“Fine – you can do a pretty decent handstand – big deal,” Killua scoffed, “now do the splits.”

Like a trained puppy, Gon obeyed Killua’s request. He dropped back down to his feet and smacked his cheeks, “ay ay, captain!”

Killua tried his best to act unimpressed, but it was next to impossible when he watched as Gon effortlessly jumped into a split – both his legs 180 degrees from each other. The wind blew across Gon’s hair and face, effectively making him giggle. It was… surreal. Those honey eyes closed while he laughed into the wind – Killua just now noticing the freckles that decorated his tanned cheeks, like constellations on the sky. Gon was undoubtedly beautiful.

What the hell was he thinking?

Snapping himself back to reality, Killua smiled, “Okay, that is pretty impressive – you’re really flexible.”

“Can you do the splits?” Gon asked innocently, pushing himself up off the ground.

Killua hummed, “yeah, but I can’t jump into it like you can – I have to sit down first, then adjust my legs.”

“I guess I’m cooler than you, huh?” Gon playfully chided, his arms stretched above his head.

Killua scoffed, “as if, just wait when I show you my skateboard – I doubt you had those on Whale Island.”

Gon’s eyes grew the size of the moon, “you can skateboard! Handstands are nothing compared to that – why didn’t you tell me before!”

“It’s not a big deal or anything,” Killua blushed, looking away, “a lot of people can skateboard, you know?”

Gon didn’t know – in fact, Killua was now the only person Gon knew that could skateboard. Watching Killua grow all shy and embarrassed made Gon beam because now he needed to compliment his friend – there was no if about it.

“That’s amazing, Killua! You have to teach me some tricks-“

“They aren’t called tricks Gon, we’re not dogs. They’re called moves.”

“Moves, tricks, whatever! Will you show me?”

He could keep this a secret from his family.

Nobody had to find out.

“Why not?”

Chapter Text

“Moves, tricks, whatever – will you show me?”

“Why not?”

Really, where did all that confidence come from?

The front door was already open, which meant Alluka must’ve seen him from her bedroom window. She always ran downstairs to open the front door for him when she saw him arriving from afar. Killua smiled. His eyes drifting up to her bedroom window. The pink curtains were neatly open, but she was nowhere near.

After climbing the stairs to his front porch, Killua sighed. Time to face the truth. It felt like this every time he entered his house. A certain energy seeped from inside this place. The walls, the windows – every corner – an aura of chaos, that in truth, Killua had no control over. His father was the one with all the control. Killua wasn’t sure if it was normal to feel this unnerved when entering his own home. It was less a home, and more a house he just lived in.

Immediately after crossing the threshold Killua could sense the change in environment – especially the change in temperature. His house was always freezing. Even when the day was nice, the house remained cold inside. Maybe it was his father’s preference. Killua didn’t really mind. He grew up in this cold, and his body adjusted easily to the change. Alluka on the other hand did mind. His sister usually needed to pile numerous blankets on herself every night to even begin to find sleep. The cold kept her up at night.

When Killua brought up the issue to his father, he hadn’t even blinked.

Killua already knew his father didn’t consider Alluka a priority in the family.

The following day the house was at an even lower temperature. Killua never brought up the issue again, deciding to simply help his sister warm up at night by sharing a bed. His mother chastised him for sharing the bed with his sister instead of staying in his own room – Killua did have the largest bedroom – but her screams did little to change his mind. From then on, he shared beds with his sister to help her warmup, and it worked perfectly fine. Not to mention he secretly enjoyed playing with his sister’s hair at night, holding her hands and helping her sleep well. That was his responsibility after all – as her older brother.

That didn’t mean his family saw eye-to-eye with him.

To them, Alluka was no more than a stranger sharing the house with them. They walked by her without even a glance – no greeting or smile. She was given a cold shoulder at every corner. Her dinner was always sent to her room door. She never ate with the family. Neither did Killua. His father reprimanded him for abandoning his spot on the dining table, but he gave a simple response.

“If there’s no room for Alluka, there’s no room for me.”

The issue was never brought up again. His family knew where he stood in regard to Alluka. His mind could not be changed. Not then, not now, not ever. It was that simple.

The thing that infuriated him the most was the fact that they refused to refer to her as a girl. Alluka was seen as his younger brother, not sister. Such a simple yet powerful smack to the face to Alluka made Killua helpless to save her from this situation. He could warm her up at night, share every single meal with her, but he could never force his family to respect her. That was out of his power – and it broke his soul seeing her face cringe every time she overheard someone refer to her as him.

People can be so cruel.

Killua swung his backpack off his shoulder and placed it beside the front door. All his assignments for the week were done ahead of time, as always, so there was no need to carry his stuff all the way upstairs. This way he can just pick it up before leaving tomorrow.

His father is away on business for the remainder of the week, so there’s no worries of running into him. Still, Illumi could be around. His eldest brother was rarely in the house – he hung out with some University friends a lot of the time – but the few times he was around, Killua always managed to run into him. Bad luck follows him.

Milluki he can handle. Kalluto never caused any trouble.

Trying his best to avoid any uncomfortable situations, Killua rushed upstairs. His mother usually spent her afternoons in the garden – lucky for Killua, since she has a nasty tendency to baby him at any given opportunity. It nearly drove him up the walls.

Walking past Milluki’s shut door, all the way down the dark hallway, he saw Alluka’s bedroom door. The simple wooden door was decorated with pictures of them together – some of when Alluka and him were much younger, while others of them now. One has Killua sleeping sloppily beside all of Alluka’s stuffed dolls. He cringed at the sleepy smile he wore in the photo. As much as he wanted to yell at Alluka for catching him of guard in his sleep, his anger dissipated when she smiled down at the picture lovingly.

He could never be mad at her.

The dark hallways was as silent as ever. Illumi must be out – luck was on his side for once.

Knocking before pushing the ajar door open, Killua heard no response. Once entering the bedroom, he saw Alluka, sprawled across her pink bedding, wearing a simple red tank and matching shorts. Her hair is held up in a sloppy ponytail, two heart pins holding back her delicate bangs. Killua notices both her eyes shut, and two white earbuds leading from her ears down to her hand – she’s holding the iPod he bought her on her last birthday. The music blasting must’ve covered his entrance.

The girlish bedroom is decorated tastefully with various posters from her favorite bands – many of the posters autographed by the artists. Right above the bed a small bulletin board is pinned with many more pictures – most of Killua alone – but some of them together. Killua can’t help but wonder how Alluka feels knowing that he is the only person she ever receives any kind attention from. His fists clench for only a moment, before a small smile graces his lips. There is no time for anger right now – not from him – Killua isn’t the one who should be upset. Only Alluka has that right. And still… she smiles every day.

Killua wishes he had half her strength.

Finally deciding to make his presence known, Killua walks up to the bed, standing only centimeters away from Alluka now, a devilish smile on his pale face.

Tickle attack.

His hands feather across Alluka’s exposed belly, and her eyes shoot open in shock, then horror. However, her reaction is seconds too late, and Killua is already attacking her body with tickles from all around. Her shriek makes him laugh aloud because there is honestly nothing Killua enjoys more than playing with his sister. Her body wiggles around on the bed, trying to find any form of escape, and she’s gasping for air, “B-Brother, please s-stop, I’m going to pee myself!”

Killua wrinkles his face with disgust, “gross,”

“Hey!” Alluka finally throws herself off the bed and onto the carpeted floor, effectively escaping her brother’s claws, “don’t be a meanie!” Her hair is a complete mess now, ponytail disheveled and hair pins lost somewhere on her head – no longer visible. Killua snorts.

Alluka huffs while on the ground, her iPod lost in the bedding now, and her shirt wrinkled, “first, you come home late from school-“

“I am not late,” Killua interrupts with a mock frown, “It’s only 4 in the afternoon-“

“When brother usually arrives at 3 in the afternoon, because classes end at 2!” Alluka jumps up from her spot on the ground, an accusing finger now on Killua chest, her eyes shine with words unsaid, lie again and I won’t be so nice.

Killua fidgets nervously under her careful gaze.

A sigh escapes her now pouty lips, and both hands fall beside her, “will you fix my hair?”

Less nervous now, Killua nods gently.

Killua has always been close to Alluka – even before their family began giving her the cold shoulder – since the very beginning. Their relationship has never been complicated. To him, Alluka has always been his lovable and gentle sister. The same can be said about how she feels about him. Her heart swells near her big brother. The only person to ever see her for who she is and love her.

The only person to love me.

It was a bittersweet realization.

Killua sat on the bed, legs hanging off, as he quietly braided Alluka’s hair. It’s smooth and silky, much like his own, with the obvious difference of being longer and darker. Alluka inherited their mother’s hair, while Killua held a stronger resemblance to their father. Despite the similarities, both parents refused to acknowledge her as part of the family. Not after Alluka made her desires clear to them.

It was that stupid Zoldyck pride.

It hung over them like a knife.

Killua couldn’t stand it.

His slender fingers moved from one hair strand to the next, peaceful silence surrounding both siblings. He knew the questions would start soon. As quick as Killua was to arrive home after spending some time with Gon, he still arrived an hour late. Alluka must be curious. She must want to know where he was – why he was so late – and he couldn’t blame her. He always arrives an hour after classes end, sometimes a few minutes earlier, so being late must’ve worried Alluka.

“So?” her voice is much calmer than before, but still insistent. Killua decided to play dumb.

“So what?” He asks innocently, earning a drawn-out sigh from Alluka.

“So why were you late?”

Killua pulls a strand of hair a little too roughly, and Alluka whines, “can’t a guy piss after school?” The lie was so blatantly bad that his sister nearly smacked her own head.

“It does not take you an hour to pee!”

Finally finished with her last strand of dark hair, Killua pats the top of her head, “I drank a lot of water today – give me a break, Alluka.” He sticks his tongue out at her, and she grabs ahold of both his hands and pulls him on the ground beside her.

Killua groans, rubbing his hip at the pain the fall jolted in him. Alluka almost feels bad – almost, but not quite – her lips thin before speaking, “This isn’t funny brother,” her tone catches Killua off guard, and his eyes widen, “I-I thought…”

He really screwed up, didn’t he?

Tears were already rolling down Alluka’s matching blue eyes, and Killua pulled her closer, his arms around her small back. He made her cry. That was the last thing Killua wanted. He felt Alluka nuzzle his neck, tears dropping onto his skin, and the wetness made him cringe. This sadness what he wanted to avoid at all costs. His chest tightened, and he held back his own tears. Alluka needed his strength – not his weakness. Killua would not break down in front of her. Not now, not ever.

“Shh… it’s alright, Alluka,” he made his voice as small as possible, afraid to scare her away in this vulnerable state, “I-I’m sorry, alright?”

No, it was not alright.

Killua knew it wasn’t.

But it will be alright. Soon.

Alluka seemed to calm down quickly in Killua’s embrace. Her small hiccups became gentle sniffles, and she pushed herself closer into Killua’s hold. His arms held her firmly against his chest, both siblings now sitting on the ground. Alluka’s head rested against his heartbeat, and it soothed her into a calming silence. She knew she was being childish. It was only an hour late, Killua rarely made her worry at all – he is always gentle and kind, like the warmth of the sun. She’s grateful to have him at her side, always.

“I met someone today,” his voice was quitter than he intended, but it didn’t raise as he continued, “a boy – he just transferred.”

This caught Alluka’s attention. Her swollen eyes opened, but she stared down at the ground, waiting for him to say more. Anything more. Killua never opened up about emotional things. He was always so happy around her – never showing any signs of struggle or pain with her. She knew it was his way of protecting her. Still… she wants to help her brother.

“Was he cute?” she asked, trying to lighten the mood a bit. It worked.

Killua scoffed, “hardly – bit of a show off,” he could already remember the courtyard, and those honey eyes staring right at him as the other boy did an impressive handstand, “reminds me a bit of Tarzan-“

“Tarzan?!-“

Killua felt his face flush red, already embarrassed by his own words, “I-I mean, he’s weird.”

“Right…” Alluka mumbled to herself. A small smile graced her face. This was the first time someone besides herself could make her brother act so out of character. She knew he was blushing madly at his own silly comment – and she was happy for him. For a long time, she was afraid he would never be free from this family. Even if he planned on eventually moving them both out, it felt like… his spirit would be stuck here. Alone and scared.

It sounded silly when she thought about it, really.

Spirits can’t be chained.

Right…?

Her brother was too strong to be chained down to this horrible place. Her hands reached up and pinched his pink cheeks, earning her an embarrassed choke, “A-Alluka!” his voice was a pitch higher than usual, and she giggled.

“So tell me more about this cute Tarzan boy-“

“H-He is not cute!”

Chapter Text

It was driving them crazy.

“Everything was decided and ready, until Chrollo opened his big fat mouth-“

The blond aggressively popped the neon green balloon between both his hands, eyes hard and bitter. His nails were like sharpened claws around the deflated rubber.

“After we specifically ordered all those stupid 80s decorations… honestly, I should’ve just told him to grab his ridiculous suggestion and shove it-“

“Language, Kurapika – we have freshmen around.” Leorio nervously smiled at both Gon and Killua standing beside them.

“where the sun doesn’t shine…” Kurapika finished inelegantly, a clumsy smile on this irritated face.

This was all the group spoke about for the past week. Kurapika, as President of the Student Council, only had the Homecoming dance in mind. The dance was less than a week away now, but for some odd reason, the theme was being completely thrown out the window. It was originally a fun 80s theme – which Kurapika approved, and even looked forward to – until the Vice President, Chrollo, had mentioned a suggestion from the Juniors and Seniors.

Chrollo was a Senior student himself, and when the masquerade theme was brought up in the last meeting, all the student council members went wild. They insisted on changing the theme – despite the time crunch they were on – and Kurapika was stuck with cleaning duty. Well, Kurapika, Leorio, Gon, and Killua were stuck with cleaning duty.

Somehow, he managed to rope them all into helping.

Gon didn’t mind – he enjoyed helping Kurapika with anything – Kurapika was kind enough to share his notes with him, so this was the least he could do in return. Leorio was a little more reluctant, but as the President’s boyfriend, there was little he could do to get out of helping. Killua was just pissed off, honestly. This was no fun at all.

“You’re the President, why didn’t you just tell him it was too late?” Killua questioned with a foul frown. He was removing the streamers from all around the walls and ceiling – the entire gymnasium was decorated in neon colored streams of opaque paper.

Kurapika popped a few more balloons before answering, a similar look on his own face, though much less obvious, “I am the President – and yes, I had every right to decline his suggestion – however, that would’ve looked terrible in front of the other council members because in their eyes it would seem as if I am ignoring the popular opinion of the student body,” the blond sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, “honestly, being a fair and just leader is incredibly difficult.”

Killua almost gagged at his explanation, “that is such bull, honestly, you might as well be like any other member – except with more work.”

“I think it’s cool!” Gon exclaimed while removing a bright yellow table cover, “Kurapika works so hard to make the other students happy… he puts himself second. It’s honorable.”

Leorio nodded in agreement, “Gon is right – still, it doesn’t make this any less annoying.”

Damn right it doesn’t.

“Speaking of the dance, are you going to attend, Gon? If I remember correctly, this would be your very first school dance, yes?” Kurapika turned to face Gon who was almost across the gymnasium still folding table covers. His voice was a pinch louder to reach him.

Gon wanted to answer with an eager yes, but he couldn’t. Not until he asks Mito first. He was practically certain she would say yes – so it’s only a matter of time – but until he hears the yes from her mouth, he can’t make any commitments. “I-I think so… I need to ask Aunt Mito.”

“It’s a school dance, I don’t think she’ll mind.” Leorio placed his back against the wall and slid down to sit on the floor. His hands were killing him from all the yanking and popping. There had to be at least two hundred balloons blown up around the room. It was ridiculous. How many decorative balloons did teenagers need?

“Yeah… you’re probably right, but I’m asking just in case,” Gon finished folding the last neon tablecloth and turned to watch Killua. The young Zoldyck was on his tippy toes yanking streamers from the gym corner, unaware of the honey eyes on his back. “If I do get permission then we should go together!”

Killua continued his yanking, minding his own business. He had no idea Gon was speaking to him, and not the other two people in the gym. It wasn’t until the silence stretched for an awkward minute that he turned to face them, confused frown on his face.

“I believe he was speaking to you, Killua,” Kurapika held back a snort, “are you planning on responding any time soon?”

Leorio tapped mindlessly on his phone, hoping to ignore the uncomfortable tension that suddenly lifted into the room. Honestly, freshmen are so awkward.

Streamers in hand, Killua stood mutely in place. His feet suddenly felt incredibly heavy, like stones – why was it so hot all of a sudden? Kurapika turned away, forcing himself to continue his popping. If someone didn’t keep working, they would never finish. Gon stood across the gym while facing Killua, a shy smile on his face. He didn’t dare say another word – not until Killua said something first.

It felt like a cotton ball was stuck in his throat, honestly, speaking was nearly impossible. Killua was certain Gon meant they attended the dance as friends – purely platonically – nothing weird or romantic, they’ve only known each other for a couple weeks! Still, his stupid mind was reading into things. He kept over analyzing the situation – what if he meant attending the dance together as a date – the idea wasn’t impossible, but improbable. If Killua did simply brush it off as a platonic date, Gon would feel embarrassed and disappointed, making the situation ten times worse than it already was.

But how likely was it that Gon was actually interested in him.

Close to zero, if not below zero.

He could never like Killua.

And even if he did, they could never actually pursue something serious.

They were friends and nothing more – even being friends was a risk for the young Zoldyck – his family was psychotic enough to torment the poor islander boy if they ever even found out about their friendship. This, what they had right now, was good enough for him. Sharing lunch and teaching him skateboard tricks – that was enough. He couldn’t get greedy. It wasn’t just his life at risk. Alluka was at risk too – he was playing with his own sister’s life – wasn’t that selfish enough? Not to mention endangering Gon’s livelihood. Everything depended on his ability to remain discreet. If Killua got too handsy, he could lose it all.

This was good – at least for now.

When the silence stretched out for an uncomfortable amount of time, he finally noticed everyone giving his incredulous looks. Leorio wasn’t even pretending to scroll on his phone anymore, his eyes glaring at Killua sharply. Kurapika wore an unimpressed frown on his own face. Gon was the only one not looking at him anymore, his head lowered a bit to face the ground beneath his feet. A sweat drop rolled down Killua’s face.

“I-I mean…” his voice cracked, and Killua wanted the ground to open and eat him entirely to save him from this moment, “we should all attend together – as a group – and hang out…”

That stupid silence stretched out again. It was suffocating.

Gon didn’t miss a beat, his face beaming up again – except it was a bit more tense than before – still bright as always, “Sure!”

Yikes.

Kurapika felt like smashing his face into the wall but opted to pop another balloon instead. Leorio never dropped his glare from Killua, not even for a second. Gon’s expression was so painfully fake it hurt. At least he was trying to save them from an uncomfortable situation – because honestly, if he started crying, panic would cause chaos – however, he seemed to handle the not-really-rejection quite well. At least for someone who’s never been rejected before.

Killua really appreciated the false positivity, despite feeling a tinge of guilt hit the pit of his stomach. It was better than dealing with a disappointed – or worse – depressed Gon.

He probably doesn’t even like me anyway, so what’s the big deal.

We’re just friends.

The clean-up continued in a similar fashion, with the exception of Gon excusing himself to use the restroom only moments after the painful conversation they shared. In Gon’s absence, nobody spoke a word. It seemed like both Leorio and Kurapika were actually intentionally ignoring Killua – but he couldn’t prove it because he was too afraid to speak. His nerves were still on edge and it irked him. He didn’t do anything wrong – at least not according to Gon’s reaction. Yeah, maybe he was faking his happy attitude, but that wasn’t Killua’s fault. If Gon didn’t wanna share his real feelings, it was on him, there was no reason the young Zoldyck should be feeling any remorse at all. Yet still, something ate at him.

After only an hour and a half, the gym was as good as new. No evidence of neon bright tacky decorations at all. It was actually quite impressive. It was only half past three in the afternoon, and the group had anticipated finishing after five.

Kurapika appeared especially satisfied, his bright silver eyes immediately turning to look at Gon who was silently seated beside him, “Looks like we did it, I’m happily impressed with you guys – I thought Leorio especially would be dead weight, but he did a decent amount of work.”

Leorio huffed, “Always gotta say something offensive, don’t you? Can’t you just compliment people normally? Sheesh… we’re literally dating.”

This caught Kurapika’s attention, his delicate eyebrow raising in question, “Oh? So, you want me to baby you just because we’re a couple? How adorable.”

Scarlet red spread across Leorio’s face as he sputtered at the cocky response he receive from his boyfriend. Kurapika enjoyed teasing him way too much. At least that’s what Gon noticed from the past few weeks they’ve spent together. The blond was always poking fun at his boyfriend with snappy remarks and comments – it was almost too cute.

Killua disagreed.

“Anywho – since we finished earlier than expected, why don’t we get some frozen yogurt from the shop across the road? – I think the name was…” Killua paused for a second, trying to come up with the shop name at the tip of his tongue, but Kurapika beat him to it.

“Jenny Mart, you mean. That convenient store with those jumbo chocolate robot bars.”

“The very same one.” Killua beamed at the mention of chocolate robots – undoubtedly his favorite sweet treat.

Leorio seemed all around uninterested in frozen yogurt or chocolate robot bars – but the mention of sharing the frozen yogurt with Kurapika had his mind changed quickly. He was such a sap it was unbearable, really. A true hopeless romantic at heart. The only one left to accept the invitation was Gon, who had been suspiciously silent and smiley since returning from the restroom earlier.

“I think Aunt Mito might want me home soon… she needed help with the yard.” Gon played with his hands on his lap, gently intertwining his fingers.

Leorio was the first to complain, “You can help her later, can’t you? We won’t be long – the shop is right down the road – then we can drop you off if you insist.”

Kurapika agreed, despite disliking the idea of peer pressuring Gon into joining them. He wanted to spend some more time together, especially knowing Gon was probably still a bit bummed about earlier. It obviously wasn’t Killua’s intention to upset the smaller boy, but these things are bound to happen in friend groups – it was inevitable, really. Kurapika felt personally responsible to brighten Gon’s mood again, or to at least try and bring a smile to his adorably dimpled cheeks again.

Gon seemed hesitant. He enjoyed spending time with his new friends. Denying them anything was difficult – especially with Kurapika’s gentle encouragement – and any other time he would have jumped at the opportunity to eat froyo with them. However, his stomach wasn’t feeling well. The conversation from earlier was still hanging over his head, and it hurt his mind thinking about it so much. It was so awkward – the way Killua stood there for minutes in uncomfortable silence – as if spending time with Gon at the dance was unbearable.

No, Killua isn’t a mean person.

Then why did he stand there for so long?

Without saying a word.

Gon just wanted to spend some time together at the dance.

He wanted to pick Killua up at his house and go to the dance together.

Zushi wouldn’t have reacted the same way.

Meeting up with Kurapika and Leorio at the dance was obvious – Killua had no need to mention that – but he did. Which meant he wasn’t planning on spending any personal time with Gon. It could at least mean he didn’t want to spend any personal time with Gon at the dance, which made the islander boy a bit upset. They were friends. Gon would even say they were close friends by now. In the short amount of time he had here, Gon grew quite fond of Killua. The way his friend was always smirking and grinning with that almost cat-like expression on his face. His friendly banter, and impressive skateboard abilities.

Those were things Gon grew very fond of.

Maybe Killua didn’t see it the same way.

People always did tell Gon he could be a bit… overbearing. Clingy. Annoying even. He hated that word. Annoying. But – it could be true. Just thinking about it made a rock drop into his gut. The last thing Gon wanted to become was an annoyance to his friends. Killua especially.

We should all attend together

As a group

And hang out…

God, Gon hoped he wasn’t an annoyance. Even Aunt Mito thought he was a handful sometimes – which, fine it made sense, he was a little bratty – but he grew out of that a long time ago.

“It’s just one cup of froyo, Gon – I wanna show you the chocolate robots too – they’re my favorite.” Killua stepped a bit closer to the shorter boy, a surprisingly kind smile on his pale cheeks. Gon almost faltered at the expression, his own cheeks heating up a bit, but nothing noticeable. At least he prayed it wasn’t noticeable.

“Only if you show me how to flip off your skateboard all cool – like you did yesterday.” Gon was all smiley and happy again – properly, and truly happy – which was a relief to all three boys, especially Killua.

“ I doubt you can pull it off with as much grace as yours truly… but I can’t deny you anything.” A devilish smile played on his cat-like features, eyes sharpening playfully, “Froyo first, though.”

At least for now, things were okay.

Gon could turn a blind eye.

For his friend.

Chapter Text

To be fair – Alluka was usually right about most things.

It wasn’t new for his sister to somehow figure things out before he could even begin to comprehend them. That was like her special talent or something. She isn’t super smart at all – it has nothing to do with brains – Killua has enough of that with how much time he spends studying for exams weeks in advance. No, he was extremely smart. However, Alluka’s ability went further than that. His little sister has a sixth sense or something.

They found out when she was much younger.

Like… a toddler.

Alluka would cry around most people – especially Illumi and Milluki – only trusting a handful of the staff they had, and Killua. Kalluto was also pretty neutral for her. Mother and father had a very difficult time controlling her crying fits, which is why they left Killua in charge of her most of the time, despite him being only a couple years older than her. Parents of the year, honestly.

Alluka could feel things nobody else could – Killua thinks she’s connected to the spirit world or something – which sounds crazier said aloud. He didn’t believe it himself, until Alluka once told him, confessed to him in tears, that she could sometimes feel energies. Inside the house, the walls – even inside people. That was when he knew his sister was a very special person.

Right now, however, his sister was just talking crazy to him.

“Oh – come on, brother! The text is so painfully obvious, you have to accept!”

Nope, he wasn’t listening, “He literally just asked me if I wanted to go visit him – what exactly is so painfully obvious?” The albino boy refused to look his sister in the eyes, too focused on staring down at his cell phone screen – the simple message giving him way too much anxiety.

Alluka wanted so badly to just jump him and smack his fluffy head, but refrained from doing so, opting instead to huff aggravatingly, “He wants to spend some alone time with you – you know, probably to talk about how you rejected him-“

“I did not reject him!”

Okay, touchy subject, Alluka’s eyes softened at hearing her brother’s voice crack.

“Fine… but don’t you wanna clear that up with him?” She tried using her patient voice, the one she always used with him – but he could be such a brute sometimes.

His response was annoyingly bland, “Not really.”

That was the final straw.

Alluka jumped with all her might – which ended up being a bit too much might – sending Killua crashing to the floor of her bedroom. Her manicured hand triumphantly held onto his cell phone, the text chat still open and eagerly awaiting a response. With the speed of a thunder bolt, her fingers were typing away the message she already had in mind. Meanwhile, Killua struggled to stand back up – too panicked to even see straight.

“A-Alluka, give me my phone back!” He finally stood up properly, swaying a bit to the side while marching her way.

The younger Zoldyck smiled mischievously down at her work, a hum of approval leaving her lips before pressing the send button. It was too late now. Even if he did get his phone back, the deed was done. Her job was complete!

Alluka dropped the cell phone on the ground, innocently backing away, while Killua practically threw himself to catch it.

“W-What did you send him?” The fear in his voice almost made her want to laugh a little, but she didn’t – for his pride. She owed him that much at least.

“Nothing embarrassing if that’s what you’re worried about, brother. You know I would never do anything like that.” Her voice was as sweet as honey, but Killua knew better than to fall for that trap.

Instead of responding with a snarky reply, he focused on reading what the text chat said with Gon. The last thing he wanted right now was to make Gon uncomfortable. He knows his sister can be a bit overwhelming at times – but please, God, let the message be innocent enough to fix. That was all he asked for.

1:23 pm

Message from Tarzan 🌴

Tarzan: hey Killua 😊 wanna come over? Aunt Mito is cooking Poke bowls!

Killua: haha idk what those are – but sounds tasty! I’ll only come over if my sister is invited too :p

Tarzan: ofc she is! I’ll send the address rn, if you come over soon maybe we can play some handstand soccer! Haha

Tarzan: [ address link sent]

Tarzan: btw, Poke bowls are a native dish from Whale Island! Tasty fish bowls 😊 see you guys soon!

Killua felt himself finally let go of the breath he was holding, relief washing all over his face. The conversation was actually not bad at all. Alluka impersonated him well – it freaked him out a little. They were really close, so it did make sense how she could pull it off. She probably knew Killua better than anyone else, in all honesty. Still, he gave her a nasty frown. His arms crossing in disapproval.

“Don’t do that ever again, Alluka, sheesh…”

Her eyes were shinning happily, completely ignoring his comment, “Oh, don’t act like it’s such a big deal, brother – I practically did all the work for you. Now I can finally meet this boy that has my brother all worked up.”

Killua’s eyes sharpened, “You seriously wanna go with me?”

“Do I look like I’m kidding?” Alluka pointed to her poker face, dead serious in every word she said. “You can’t escape this, big brother. We are going to visit Gon Freecss together, and we are going to eat whatever a Poke Bowl is, too.”

So, it was settled.

Once Alluka’s mind was made up, nobody could convince her otherwise.

Softly sighing, Killua clicked on the address link Gon sent him and noticed the house was over an hour away – by car. By bus it was about an hour and a half. He couldn’t risk taking so long. If his parents got suspicious, they could decide to revoke his permission to leave during the weekend, which would be no fun at all. Killua needs to get to and from Gon’s house in a reasonable amount of time – or at the very least, arrive back home without Illumi noticing and ratting him out.

The only trouble now was transportation. He could always take one of the cars and order a worker to drive them there – but that would compromise his location. The employee would instantly alert his parents of where he was being driven, and that would give Gon’s address away. The thought of what his parents could do with that simple information made him a bit queasy. Getting away from his family for even a couple hours was really a nightmare.

Not to mention Alluka was with him now.

Killua has to be extra careful to keep her out of any trouble. If their parents, or even siblings, found out she was hiding something from them – something about their precious Killua – they would likely go ballistic. For some insane reason, his family believes to have complete and total control over his life – personal aspects and everything in between. It was that control over him that kept him in this house now, as well as Alluka needing him.

The only option was public transportation.

The only safe option, at least.

“We can take the bus to the nearest stop by his house, then walk the last ten minutes.” Killua pocketed his cell phone, smiling kindly at Alluka who stood troubled in front her closet entrance. She gave him a simple nod in response, still eyeing her outfits with hesitation.

“Brother… would you say the occasion calls for a casual look, or a more feminine one?” Alluka reaches for a very well-tailored blush dress, before dropping it for a more natural toned skirt. She could match her favorite red skirt with a more neutral colored button up – one of the ones Killua bought her last Christmas. The options were endless, really. She always took way too long to get dressed – it was undoubtedly one of her weaknesses – however, Killua never seemed to mind.

Instead of brushing off her silly question, her brother seemed to really think about his response, genuinely wanting to help her out a bit. “From what I know about Gon, we’ll probably be doing some outdoor stuff – dress casual and comfortable,” his blue eyes lit up for a moment, “those pink overalls you always want an opportunity to wear – that would be perfect now, matched with a flower printed tee underneath.” He was practically beaming at his own suggestion, already imagining how adorable his sister would look – his taste in clothes was pristine.

Alluka giggled, “wow, you really know your way around a closet, huh, big brother?”

Her comment made Killua nod proudly, until quickly reading the underlying message in her words, and frowning, “Alluka, you are such a snake!” his words held no venom at all, and she knew that.

“A cute snake!”

Very cute, he agreed, but would never admit out loud after her insulting joke. He simply huffed, cheeks red with embarrassment, and stuck his tongue out at her. “Just try to hurry up – we have to leave soon if we plan on getting back home at a reasonable hour.”

Just when everything was decided and ready, another presence was felt in the room. Killua’s head turned quickly to face the doorway when his breath caught for just a moment. He tried his best to remain indifferent, but it wasn’t working quite as well as he would like. Standing at the door frame was Illumi. His long dark hair sleek back, as always, and his eyes were endless holes. Killua instinctively moved to stand in front of Alluka, not allowing them to have any contact at all.

The first to speak was Illumi, naturally.

“You have plans?” The question was less out of curiosity, and more out of annoyance. His brother was here to bother them.

Before Alluka could reply, Killua was already speaking, “We do – is that a problem? Last time I heard, father and mother were fine with weekend outings.”

Illumi didn’t miss a beat, an almost crooked smile on his face, “No problem at all, you already know you have complete freedom to leave and return this house as you please, Kill.”

Kill.

He hated the nickname.

“Then I see no reason for you to be here,” the younger boy moved a bit closer to the doorway where Illumi stood, “unless you have another matter to discuss?”

Illumi hummed, his neck tilting a bit to look behind Killua, where Alluka stood wordless. She faced the ground beneath her feet, silence ingulfing her entirely. The sight made the older Zoldyck grin, “No, by all means, you and that thing can go out if you please. I simply worry about you, Kill,” his tone is less cold and calculating for a moment, eyes back on Killua, “father and mother might not notice – but I do.”

“You notice what?” Killua’s patience was running thin. He was sick of speaking to Illumi already.

“I notice how distracted you’ve been lately… how late you arrive from classes, and how much bolder you’ve become in the last few weeks.” Illumi steps back, his form now standing outside the doorway and in the hall, “I know you better than anyone, Kill – I would hate for you to get in trouble because of some silly teenage rebelling.”

Alluka gasps, and Killua can hear her struggle to remain silent.

No, you can’t say anything Alluka. Don’t try anything risky.

Big brother can handle this.

“You just talk out your ass sometimes, don’t you Illumi? – my grades are perfect, they’ve never been better – I study for hours every night, and I hardly ever go out.” Killua was now standing directly in front of Illumi, his feet on the door threshold, “thanks for the concern bro, but I think I can handle myself – you’re hardly around enough to actually make a difference anyway.”

Illumi’s eyes widened slightly at Killua’s language. It was very rare for him to speak so directly to his older brother. Before he even has a chance to respond, the door is shut in his face.

That was the end of that conversation.

“brother… are you sure that was a good idea?” Alluka’s voice snapped him out of whatever confidence boost he was in, and Killua turned back to face her.

“He was just being annoying, Alluka – you know he won’t tattle about some snarky reply I gave him. It would be too embarrassing for him.” Killua held back a chuckle, knowing now wasn’t the time to laugh at how shocked his brother’s face had been.

“Yeah, but – what if he’s angry now? He was right, brother, you are arriving late from classes now, isn’t that enough for father and mother to get suspicious?” she tried hiding her worry, but it was pointless. Alluka knows how careful their parents are. How controlling – especially of her big brother. Killua never spoke about it with her, but she knew how much he risked always siding with her. It was why she was so protective of him.

Instead of taking her concern seriously, the older Zoldyck simply shrugged, offering his sister a kind smile, “I’ll figure out a way to keep it under control – that isn’t important now, anyway.”

Yes, it is.

It is very important, brother.

Alluka kept her silence despite having strong doubts.

Something felt wrong… but it would surely work out.

It always did.

Chapter Text

Killua already knew Gon was bright.

He could see it in the way the smaller boy would smile so often – with big doe-eyes and warm dimpled cheeks.

The way the islander would laugh at the most ridiculous and unfunny jokes – the lamest jokes – always finding joy in silly things that anyone else would brush aside.

Killua knew Gon was light.

Despite knowing that – he never expected his home to be so similar. The warm honey painted walls – the framed family pictures neatly lined up on almost every side. Many of the pictures being of a much younger Gon usually holding up some sort of plant or animal. He appeared so carefree and joyful in practically every photo – there wasn’t a single frown in sight. So much happiness made Killua honestly consider his own childhood. It was nothing like these pictures – these memories – he wondered if Gon can tell how different they actually are.

Killua and Alluka arrived at Gon’s house only an hour and a half after his invitation was sent through text. They took the bus and arrived earlier than anticipated.

There, outside the house, was Gon. He wore a simple white t-shirt with cute chibi frog prints around it, and some high-waisted jean shorts. He sat alone on the wooden porch doing nothing but relaxing contently and awaiting their arrival. Apparently, Mito ordered him to stay put until they both arrived safely. The gesture was sweet.

Alluka’s first impression of Gon was quite wholesome.

Her eyes were as bright as stars, and Killua knew that with a single glance, she was already won over. She tried playing it off, but it was pointless. The way her cheeks blushed nervously while being introduced, and her hands fidgeting – it all gave her away. Killua couldn’t blame her. Gon was a natural charmer after all. His smile was always so sincere and warming that even Killua grew fond of it. Without even trying Gon won people over easily.

“You must be the friend my brother is always talking about,” Alluka says while hiding a blush, “it really is a pleasure to finally put a face to the name!”

Gon beamed at her kind words, “The pleasure is all mine – you’re so much cuter than Killua told me!”

He was such a flatterer, Killua almost didn’t believe his innocent act.

Alluka sputtered for words, clearly not expecting him to say something so forward to her on their first meeting, “I-I mean – did you just call me c-cute…?” the disbelief in her voice confused Gon. He nodded instantly, not entirely sure if she was serious or not about her question.

“Yeah – you look really nice in those overalls!”

Killua gave himself a proud pat on the back for that one, it was his taste in fashion being complimented, but the look of pure adoration on Alluka’s face had him pouting a bit. She only ever gave him that look – now she was giving it to Gon. He was beyond happy to see her acting so open and friendly with someone else besides himself, but it hurt a little. He was so accustomed to having Alluka all to himself he forgot she needed to start making her own friends. If Gon was the first friend she made, there was nothing for him to worry about. He was possibly the best option for her first friend – the islander is gentle and kind in every way. Killua could never admit this aloud, though.

Now that the three were inside, Gon escorted them past the entrance area and the living room, down a slightly tight hallway, and into the kitchen area. The kitchen was much smaller than expected – it only has room for a few people at a time – but they squeezed their way inside with Gon’s insistence. Inside was an elderly woman stirring a pot of cooking vegetables beside a much younger looking woman who appeared to be preparing some fish.

Both women turned to face them properly, the younger one speaking up first, “Oh dear, Gon – you shouldn’t have brought your friends in here – it’s all cramped and stuffy,” She picked up a small white handkerchief and cleaned her hands off, “You must be Killua and Alluka, such a treat having guests over.”

Now the elderly woman spoke, her stirring paused for a moment, “So lovely to see our boy making so many kind friends – we thank you for helping him adjust in school.”

Killua isn’t sure how to respond. This is his first time visiting a friend. His first time visiting anyone, actually, and it showed easily in the way he stood in silent shock. It felt so surreal to be inside this home – this warm and welcoming home – with people who are genuinely kind to him and Alluka. He was unsure how to react at all. His own house was usually so full of hostility and basically the opposite of this house, did he really deserve to share this place today? To be part of something besides cold discipline?

Alluka spoke before him, taking his hand in her own, “we are happy to be welcomed here – you have a lovely home.” Her voice is so genuine and honest, Killua feels a pang in his chest. This is the environment his sister deserves to be raised in. This type of home is what she should experience everyday – not the prison she lives at their house.

“Of course, you’re both welcome here – anytime – a friend of Gon is a friend of the family.” The younger lady hums happily, “My name is Mito, in case you didn’t already know. This is my mother, but you can just call her Abe.”

Gon beams, “Abe and Aunt Mito are the best cooks ever! They were the ones who taught me how to prepare my lunch – the one we share, remember, Killua?” trying to get his friend more involved in the conversation, Gon gives Killua an encouraging smile. There is no need to be shy around his family.

Killua finally takes the hint and gives his own small smile, “yeah, the lunch is delicious.”

“You’ve been sharing your lunch, Gon? Why didn’t you tell me?” Mito gives Gon a stern look, arms crossed across her chest, and for a moment Killua thinks she’s about to yell at him – punish him for sharing his food with Killua. For only a moment, he thinks he messed everything up, like he always does.

“You should’ve told me – so I could buy you another bento box – that way you can make two lunches instead of sharing one,” she sighs, “you’re so shy about asking for things, I worry sometimes – you boys should be eating a whole lunch, not half!”

Gon looks incredibly guilty, like he’s been caught stealing food instead of sharing it with his friend, he pouts up at Mito, “I-I thought we could manage with just one bento, I don’t eat that much anyway, and I always pack a bunch.”

Abe speaks up this time, “Even if you don’t eat much – what about Killua, hm? Maybe he would enjoy eating a bit more. You boys each need a bento box, listen to Mito.”

Alluka silently watches the exchange between Gon and his family, a warm feeling inside her chest. This is what a real family looks like. Only kindness and concern – no fear or neglect. The same way she feels around her big brother. Safe and content. Alluka is so glad this is her brother’s friend. She is so grateful Gon has spread some of his warm kindness to her brother who desperately deserves it. She wants him to feel this warmth every day.

After the small discussion ends, and Mito promises to buy Gon a new bento box for Killua after asking him what his favorite color is, the three teens march further down the hall, past the kitchen, and into what can only be Gon’s bedroom. The room is much smaller than any room in Killua’s house – but it’s so much more intimate as well. The walls are covered in pictures – none of them framed – they all hang to the wall with tape or a simple pin. Some of the photos are of Mito and Abe, some are of Gon – but most are pictures of fish and animals, plants as well. The pictures are so colorful that the walls appear to be painted with color instead of being white.

Fairy lights hang around the room corners as well, although turned off because the bedroom light is on. His bed has no frame, it’s just a mattress on the ground, with some leaf patterned covers and pillows.

What really catches Killua’s attention is the somewhat large tank beside the mattress. Inside the tank several branches and greenery can be seen, a warming light hanging on top, but nothing else. It appeared empty.

“Sorry – about the mess, I mean,” Gon clumsily picks up a few shirts from beside his bed and throws them into a green basket, “I haven’t had time to tidy up since I just finished hanging all the pictures… that took a while – and all my stuff is finally unpacked.”

Alluka shrugs happily, “looks fine to me! Big brother’s room has been way messier.”

“She’s not wrong,” Killua says with only slight embarrassment, he could be pretty slobby sometimes – usually out of laziness – but nothing too dramatic. Gon’s room smelled like honey and mint, so besides the clothes on the ground and some misplaced class books, his room was very nice. “What are we doing in here, anyway?”

Gon chuckled a bit at Alluka’s comment. He thought his room would make them want to leave, or wait outside, but they were actually really nice about it. It wasn’t gross at all – Gon knows how to clean up after himself – but Aunt Mito always told him his room was a mess. He assumed they would agree.

“Ah – before going outside – I wanted to introduce you two to my little friend,” Gon stepped closer to the tank beside his bed, head just above, searching for something, “It’s part of what we’re doing today…” he hummed while reaching into the tank.

Alluka hurried to stand beside him and stare into the tank as well, leaving Killua to stand behind them hesitantly. He wanted to tell her to back up a little – to be careful – but he also didn’t wanna sound like a lame babysitter. Surely Gon didn’t have anything dangerous in that tank anyway, but it did sting a little to see them standing beside each other with eager smiles while he stood by and watched their backs.

“Brother – come closer, come look!” Alluka suddenly beamed, and Gon giggled like a schoolgirl. His hand finally found what he was looking for, and whatever it was made Alluka light up.

“What is it?” he pushed himself to walk a bit closer, to stand only a few feet behind the two, but couldn’t move further up.

Gon finally turned to look at him, confidence in his wide eyes, “My friend – Kon!”

Killua didn’t really get much time to process his words until a frog was staring at him. Right on Gon’s palm was a pretty big green, slimy, icky frog – with a few brown spots on top his back. His black beady eyes stared into Killua’s soul, and those sticky arms wrapped around Gon’s fingers. He was frozen. Too shocked to even utter a single word.

Alluka clapped her hands joyfully, completely ignoring her brother’s terrified expression, “So cute! You have a pet frog!”

Gon bashfully smiled, “Yup – pretty cute guy, huh? I found him back on Whale Island with my friend Zushi. He was all alone… just hopping around near the river beside my house.”

“Here – wanna hold him, Killua?” Gon practically shoved the frog near Killua’s chest, and he honestly couldn’t help the shriek that escaped him. Gon nearly fell over with shock.

“Keep that thing away from me! Oh my god – please put it back in the tank!”

Alluka was laughing out loud now, holding her sides from how much laugher was shaking her body. She knew her brother had a fear of slimy creatures – but the girly shriek he gave when Gon was only moving closer – it was priceless. She thought he outgrew that fear, but apparently not.

Gon only stood in place, hands gently caressing his pet frog, unsure how to react to Killua’s sudden outburst. He’s never seen Killua like this. Is he actually afraid of frogs? But they’re so cute.

“Oh wow – just wow – I can’t believe you’re still so freaked out by them, brother!” Alluka placed her own hand on top of the slimy frog, “It feels so slippery… so cool.”

“Right?” Gon grinned at her, turning to give Killua an apologetic smile, “sorry, Killua – I had no idea you disliked frogs. I guess that probably means you don’t wanna catch one…”

Alluka stuck her tongue out, “why do you have to ruin all the fun, brother?” she was only kidding, but he still pouted at her.

“They’re so gross and slimy… how can you keep one in your own room?”

Gon ignored his complaining and simply placed Kon back inside the tank. The little frog croaked a couple times, the innocent sounds making Alluka beam, then hopped away inside a small decorative log. His presence no longer causing Killua any distress. He sighed contently, finally regaining his composure.

“Please tell me you have something else planned besides frog hunting?”

To their surprise, he did have more planned. After laughing at a couple baby Gon pictures hanging around his bedroom, the three teens walked out the house and into the backyard. Mito and Abe weren’t done preparing the Poke bowls yet but promised to call them inside when everything is ready to eat.

The backyard isn’t very large – unlike the Zoldyck backyard. Still, it has a beauty and personality that the Zoldyck garden lacked. Many potted plants and flowers are lined up against the backyard entrance – ready to be planted. Some vegetables and herbs appear to already be planted in their own section, further away from the entrance, they even seem to be sprouting already. The season was right, so soon enough, fully grown vegetables should be seen any time now. At least from what Killua could tell, which wasn’t much, considering he had a very limited knowledge on gardening and nature.

“I handle most of the garden and yard work, so I still have a long way to go, but the tomatoes and cucumbers shouldn’t take very long to grow,” he walks further ahead, “We had more land to work with on Whale Island, but this is nice too.”

“It’s more than nice – it’s amazing! You grew all of this yourself? In only the couple weeks you’ve been here?” Alluka can’t help the enthusiasm in her voice – the genuine awe.

“It is really impressive…” Killua says himself, his voice much less excitable, but still honest.

Gon blushes, his cheeks and ears painted a very pretty pink, “This really isn’t much… a few vegetables and fruits here and there – the garden we had before was so much more vibrant!”

“For the time you have here, this is great, I’m sure you’ll have your own vibrant garden here in no time,” Alluka insists with a smile so bright, even Gon falters. He silently accepts her compliment with a nod.

“I didn’t bring you two out here to show off the garden – come, follow me, I wanna show you something before it gets dark.” Gon walks past the backyard gate and turns to encourage them to stay close to him. Both Killua and Alluka nod and follow close behind, both siblings curious to see where they’re leaded.

The three walk past clusters of trees and roots that stick up from the dirt. Gon doesn’t walk too far ahead and keeps a careful eye on both siblings, holding his hand out and offering them help when a particularly large tree root blocks their path. Killua can easily climb past the root, but Alluka needs some assistance – she rarely spends any time outdoors, and her physical abilities aren’t the best. Both boys help pull her up the root and continue forward. Gon points out colorful plants and bugs as they walk ahead, his voice full of adoration each creature and plant.

After twenty or so minutes of traveling, Killua wonders if they’ll ever reach this mysterious location, until Gon finally gestures for them to stop walking.

“Stay down here,” he says before beginning to climb up a very wide and rough tree. His hands easily support themselves on the tree branches, and he swings himself up like a monkey. Alluka and Killua stare up with wide eyes, both wondering what would happen next. This wasn’t exactly a common occurrence for them.

“Oh good – they’re still here – I was afraid she would try to move her nest…”

Before either siblings can question his odd comment, Gon is sliding down the tree at full speed, both his arms too busy carrying something to support him. Killua watches with poorly hidden horror as Gon almost stumbles to the ground, and he rushes to help him keep his balance. In return, he receives a bright smile from Gon.

“Thanks, Killua.”

Chirping can be heard, and he finally notices the nest Gon is carefully holding against his chest. Alluka almost falls over – she’s thrilled.

“These are fisher birds,” Gon explains before they can even ask, “ well, I guess you can call them fisher birdies, because they can’t fly yet – the mother only recently laid them.”

Killua is silent. He stares down at the small birds that seem completely unthreatened by Gon’s presence – despite him practically stealing them from their tree. They happily chirp up at him, almost excited to see him. This must be a regular occurrence for them.

“This probably seems weird but… I saw the mother trying to fish in the river a week ago, and a big fish almost snatched her – I managed to save her before it caught her entirely – but her wing was still hurt.” Gon spoke so softly it was barely audible. His hands reaching down to tenderly tap the birds, earning more chirps.

Alluka whispered beside him, eyes still wide with wonder, “where’s the mother? This just seems like a nest of babies…”

“She must be out right now,” he hums a bit and that calms the baby birds down, their chirping finally lowering in volume, “she can still fly – but catching food is difficult – so I’ve been feeding them while she’s away, healing.”

His answer seems to please Alluka, and she does all she can to keep tears from forming around her eyes. This gentle kindness – this innocent love – it gets her a bit emotional. To see someone, care about other living creatures with such honesty, with so much integrity, without ever receiving anything in return – that was something Alluka longed for very much. For someone like herself, someone who is so strongly disliked by her own parents, this is the hope she needs to push forward.

Killua watches as Gon speaks to the baby birds with such an adorable tone, he must look away entirely.

Gon finally notices the silence and smiles shyly, “sorry if you were expecting something exciting – I wanted to introduce you guys – but if it’s too boring I can come back and check on them later, I just usually do it earlier because when it’s dark out they get scared.”

“No,” Killua hurriedly says, shocking himself and Alluka, “I’m just surprised you go through all this trouble… you know – to help some birds.”

“Some birds?” Gon repeats with confusion, “Well – they needed help – so isn’t that reason enough?”

To somebody like Gon, the answer was clear as day.

To Killua, it took longer to understand.

Why help something so weak… so vulnerable?

If the fish ate the mother bird – it was how nature worked – why fight to defend it?

Why be so gentle and loving to something so… small and defenseless?

“Yes… it is.” Alluka murmurs more to herself, than anyone else.

When Gon is finished feeding the baby birds he climbs the tree again and places the nest back in the same spot. He climbs back down quickly, and both Killua and Alluka are smiling at him – he tries not to be overwhelmed by them. Alluka shares the same brilliant blue eyes as Killua, and they make him a bit flustered. It was like having two Killuas smiling at him at the same time – and that made him feel all kinds of warm inside. Instead of embarrassing himself, Gon leads them all the way back home, where Aunt Mito and Abe are finished with dinner.

The Poke bowls are delicious as ever and all three teens compliment Mito and Abe on their delightful cooking. The warm rice mixed with fresh salmon and seasoned vegetables easily fills them up – leaving Killua with an especially big smile.

Before they even realize it, hours had gone by – it was time to go back home.

Back to the Zoldyck estate.

Alluka walks ahead of Gon and Killua as they walk out the house, saying their goodbyes. She wants to give them some space to talk without her around to embarrass them, especially her brother. She knows he would never say anything embarrassing in front of her – so now was their private time.

“I’m really glad you could visit… even if it’s just for a couple hours – are you sure your parents won’t let you stay over?” Gon spoke softly, trying his best to hide his disappointment.

Killua wishes they could stay for longer, he wishes staying over was an option, but realistically he knew it wasn’t. His parents would investigate and find out where he spent the night – Illumi would throw a stupid fit, like he always did when Killua focused on anything besides school. Even calling and asking was risky because then he would be admitting to having a friend – a distraction – which was against every rule ever. It sucked.

At least he had today’s memories.

“No… it’s best we leave now, Alluka is probably tired, and sleeping here is so different for her – she would be more comfortable at home,” lies, all of it was a big lie, but it was the only way to keep Gon from pushing further, “this was a lot of fun, though. You really made her day.”

Gon stared at him expectantly, like he was hoping for more – like Killua was forgetting something.

“You really made my day, too.”

That seemed like the right response, because Gon beamed at him, eyes soft and accepting.

Still, there was an unspoken topic

Gon never mentioned it once – it surprised Killua

The awkward rejection…

“Hey Gon… I wanted to say something,” Killua tried not to stutter, and to his surprise, he didn’t, “It’s about the homecoming dance – when you asked me to go with you-“

“You two can come over whenever you want – you and Alluka both.” The interruption was so sudden, Killua merely blinked in response.

Before he could even fathom the change in topic, Alluka was calling his name, asking him to please hurry up before they missed the bus back home. He already knew they were running a bit late – but something about the way Gon dodged the conversation made him feel uneasy. He didn’t wanna leave things here. Gon deserved to understand why he was rejected – why they shouldn’t go to the dance together – he deserved to know the truth.

“You should go, Killua – I don’t want you to get into any trouble.”

Still, Killua hesitated.

“What’s wrong? Did you forget something inside the house – or in the woods, maybe?”

Now isn’t a good time.

Another day.

“No – it’s nothing, bye, Gon.”

“Bye, Killua.”

Chapter Text

The day has finally arrived

Today, Gon could finally see Zushi again

It honestly still feels impossible, even as Aunt Mito helped him set up the video call.

“I think you’re covering the camera with your thumb Aunt Mito…” Gon bit the inside of his cheek, keeping in his laughter, “you can leave now – I can handle it from here.” He didn’t want to sound rude because his Aunt did her best to help him figure this out, but even Gon had more experience with technology than her – having her around was only confusing him more, and now wasn’t the time for technical issues. Plus, he wants some privacy.

“Oh, can you? Because Zushi didn’t seem so sure about that in the email he sent me…” she huffed with agitation, pressing a button on the laptop that turned the camera completely off, an even deeper frown was on her face now.

“Yes! – Yes, I can handle it, Aunt Mito, if I have any problems, I can just go tell you, okay?” He stood up from his bed and scooted between Mito and the laptop, protecting it from any more harm she can cause it. That seemed to convince her enough, and she gave his head a rough pat before marching out his bedroom.

He sighed.

“This shouldn’t be too hard…” his tongue stuck out thoughtfully, and Gon did his best to set up the video call – exactly the way Zushi instructed in the email.

After half an hour of struggling to figure out why the camera was blacked out, and some minor issues when his laptop died, Gon managed to finally connect to the number Zushi gave him. After only seconds of waiting, the invitation to video chat came through. Gon stood silent for a minute. His eyes wide and unsure. Was this actually happening? Zushi, his best friend, was going to see him after nearly months without contact.

It all started only days ago when Mito alerted him of an email she received. She was complaining about not remembering her password, and how she couldn’t open it without her password. Gon then spent an unearthly amount of time trying to help his Aunt remember her old password, before realizing he could just help her make a new one if she answered the security question – he only realized this after texting Killua for help. His hopes came crashing down when his aunt told him she had no idea what the answer was – the question being what her dream vacation location is.

It was such a simple question, but he knew how his aunt was. She changes her mind all the time. Maybe her dream vacation was a lovely beach resort on Whale Island but is now a relaxing visit to the countryside of Padokia.

After typing various random locations – one of them finally hit!

“oh yeah… I did wanna visit that safari in Egypersia…”

The memory made Gon chuckle all over again. His Aunt was just crazy sometimes – and he loves that about her – he loves it to bits. Still, it did drive him insane, too. After they made her an easy password to remember – one that Gon also wrote down for safe keeping – they were able to open the email Zushi sent. Well, Zushi’s caretaker, Wing. He wrote them a polite email inviting Gon to video chat with Zushi now that he raised enough money to buy his very own laptop, Wing was so proud of his dedication that he promised to install internet as well. It was almost too perfect to believe.

Now here he is, only moments away from seeing his close friend again. All he has to do is press accept on the laptop screen – and Zushi would be on the other side!

The ringing began, and for seconds, Gon was afraid Zushi wouldn’t answer. It sounded silly, but maybe Zushi made new friends – better friends than Gon. They were close friends… but Gon did leave him. For all he knows Zushi could still be upset, and he couldn’t blame him.

Maybe he forgot about him

“H-HELLO? –“

Gon jumped off his bed, head snapping up to face the sound. That voice. There’s no doubt in his mind – Zushi is staring back at him across the screen, face twisted with silent emotion. Neither boys did nor said anything, both staring back silently. Something inside Gon twisted tightly, and he found himself smiling up brightly because – oh my goodness, Zushi was here in front of him and he couldn’t believe his own eyes wow wow wow wow-

“Gon?” the voice is hesitant and brattled with static, but Gon didn’t mind at all.

“Zushi!”

Both boys laughed at his sudden jovial outburst, tears brimming around both their eyes – but neither cried. This is a happy moment. Gon knew they would meet again – of course he did, he made the promise himself – still, the promise seemed so impossible he hardly gave it a thought since leaving Whale Island. However, despite his lack of effort, Zushi found a way to earn enough jenny and buy himself a laptop. He was the one to thank for their reunion. Gon is so incredibly proud of him, it almost made him want to sob and hug the laptop screen, but he held himself back in fear of accidentally breaking their shaky connection.

“Oh wow – wow, this is amazing – I can’t believe you have your own laptop finally, I mean how did you even earn enough to buy it?” Gon felt his hands still shaking with excitement but ignored it in favor or questioning his friend.

Zushi hummed happily, “I did some yard work for the other neighbors – and I also went on a few fishing trips with the docked boat crews,” he spoke nonchalantly, as if those jobs were no work at all, when Gon knows how tiring they can be – especially the fishing trips.

“That is so amazing Zushi – I’m so proud of you!”

Zushi flushed, awkwardly readjusting the laptop screen, “you sound like my father… it really wasn’t hard at all, since I have so much free time.”

Gon nodded, already aware that school was out for Whale Island kids. They usually ended their school year pretty early. Zushi must already be on break. Gon was a little jealous, but only a little. Usually him and Zushi would go swimming every day after summer break began – the river beside his house was their favorite hanging out spot. Now he wondered how Zushi spent his time without him. Apparently, he spent it working yards and fishing to earn jenny.

 “Well, I’m still proud of you – those fishing trips can be pretty exhausting…”

“I can handle a couple fishing trips! You could handle them just fine – so can I!”

“And I know how picky the neighbors are about their yards,” Gon said with a huff. He was only trying to be a good friend. He was concerned. Zushi was younger than Gon, after all. Maybe not crazy younger – only like a year – but that was young enough! Gon always saw him as a little brother. An adorable little brother with big adorable eyebrows. It was natural for him to worry about him.

“Yeah? Well I even have some extra jenny to spend – so it was worth it – you don’t have to look after me anymore, we aren’t even neighbors anymore,” the words stung Gon a bit, but he hid his emotions with an awkward smile. Zushi was right after all. They aren’t neighbors. They aren’t even on the same island anymore. Gon only took comfort in the fact that they were still friends.

“Good for you, I’m happy you’re working so hard, then.”

That seemed to please Zushi a bit, and he smiled.

Both boys spoke nonstop about practically everything – each interrupting the other to add their own comment or reaction. Zushi told Gon about everything he learned those months while training with Wing – all his new fighting techniques – and it made Gon crazy jealous. He also told him about the fishing trips he went on, and how one of the boats almost flipped over when a huge wave caught them during a storm – Gon did all he could to stop himself from begging Zushi to be more careful. When Gon asked how their rock garden was doing, Zushi stuck his tongue out and told him he could take care of a stupid rock garden without any problems. They laughed together for so long – almost two hours in the video call and still all they spoke about was Zushi and how his life was on the island.

“Hey – it’s not fair! Why don’t you tell me about how life is in Yorknew?” Zushi pressed for answers, watching as Gon’s face soured.

“My life is boring…”

Not good enough. Zushi pouted, “stop lying – you live in this awesome huge city, and you even attend a public school – you’re probably surrounded by lots of friends…”

Gon noticed the change in demeanor and huffed. He’s been trying to avoid the subject altogether. If they spoke about his life here – Killua would definitely come up – and obviously, he wants to tell Zushi about him, but something felt weird. Zushi would immediately notice how much Gon likes Killua – he might even figure out Gon likes likes Killua. That isn’t something Gon is ready to face. Especially after finding out Killua definitely doesn’t feel the same. This video chat is supposed to make him feel happy and relaxed, but if they spoke about his feelings for the Zoldyck boy, he would certainly be on edge the entire time.

Still, Gon doesn’t want to lie to Zushi.

“I did make some new friends,” Gon admitted bashfully, “they’re really smart and kind… way too good for me.”

Zushi’s eyes widened a fraction, “no way, Gon! You’re the nicest person ever – stop saying stuff like that – they’re lucky to have you around.”

The words were so full of honesty and kindness, Gon almost believed them.

“Thanks, Zushi… but they really are amazing. One of them is super dedicated – like they do so much – for the school, the students, and even me. He even lets me share his notes because I’m so bad at taking them.” Kurapika’s bright face flashed in his memories, and a warm smile tugged his lips.

Zushi silently listened to Gon speak about this friend he admires, and a sad smile grew on his face. He’s happy Gon made new friends. Zushi was afraid Gon wouldn’t fit in with the other kids at his school – not because Gon wasn’t fun or kind, because he is – but because he’s different. Whale Island isn’t exactly full of other kids, so most of the time, all the kids stuck close together. Gon was especially close to people. Zushi never minded. He relished in the closeness he shares with Gon – but some people found it odd, or uncomfortable. Hearing his friend speak so passionately about another kid at his school – that eased all his worries.

“I’m so glad, Gon,” Zushi admired with a smile, “Kurapika sounds really nice – maybe I can meet them one day.”

“Oh yeah – absolutely! I mean, if they want to, which they will because they’re so nice, but anyway he has this really funny boyfriend – he’s hilarious – and he looks like an old man, but he’s only a year older than me!” Gon beamed at Zushi, face only showing excitement and joy.

“That’s really weird – why does he look old? Does he have white hair or something?”

The strange question made an image of Killua pop into Gon’s mind, and he swallowed heavily. Even with white hair, Killua only ever appeared young and playful – at least he always did around Gon. Still, the islander pushed the thought away.

“No – his hair is short and spiky, like mine but way shorter, and he wears these tiny glasses – but what really ages him is his height. He’s like way taller than me, or even Kurapika. His name is Leorio, which I also find a little funny,” Gon mused while turning the brightness on his screen up a little. He wanted a better view of Zushi’s face, which was a bit difficult since his laptop was kind of old. The brightness lowers automatically after a while, it was annoying.

“He wears tiny glasses?” Zushi laughed into the mic, “yeah, that does sound like something an old man would wear…”

Both boys suddenly grew silent, neither sure how to proceed. They still had so much to share – so much missed time away from each other – but for some reason the chatter seems to die down a bit. Gon takes this time to reflect on his own emotions a bit. He should tell Zushi about Killua. He really truly wants to tell him. Every fiber in his body is just shaking to tell Zushi about the most incredible, brilliant, obnoxiously wonderful person he has ever had the pleasure of meeting – but the words were caught in his throat. Gon is so obvious about his feelings, even he is aware of that, and it scares the actual shit out of him.

He seriously needs to learn how to mask his feelings

He knows that the moment he even utters Killua’s name – Zushi will know. They were best friends for a reason. Zushi knows him better than he knows himself, and it gave him every right to assume Gon has… deeper feelings than friendship for Killua. Beyond the platonic bond they’ve built, Gon secretly hopes for more – he selfishly wishes for more.

He is so selfish

Killua gives him so much happiness – he does Gon the favor of spending time with him, despite how busy he is. Gon notices how busy Killua is, regardless of what others might believe, he isn’t as oblivious as he acts. The islander boy can see how tired Killua arrives to school – he can see the dark circles, and the heaviness that weighs on his shoulders – like the albino boy hasn’t slept a single good night in his life. These are things that Gon openly notices, but never brings up, because he trusts Killua to tell him if Gon can ever help him with anything. But deep inside, he knows he can’t do anything for Killua – he can’t do a single thing.

So, for him to selfishly want more, when clearly Killua gains nothing from this friendship – that is unforgivable.

But he wants advice

He wants Zushi to help him become better… for Killua

“I have another friend,” Gon broke the silence, and Zushi’s eyes met his, “he’s… really something. Like – he can skateboard,” is that really the first thing he can think of? “but, besides skateboarding – he is super smart… so smart it’s scary! He’s like a math calculator, which really freaks me out, and it also amazes me,” more, there’s so much more about Killua, “he really likes sweets – he’s obsessed with them, I’m afraid he might get a cavity – but his favorite sweet is this weird chocolate robot,” say more – say more about him, and how incredible he is, “but, but the best thing about him is how selfless he is – he’s always helping me out… always thinking about how he can make things easier for me, and I- I…”

What do I do?

Gon almost forgets about Zushi, but soon smiles up at him again, “His name is Killua.”

Gon feels a rock hit his gut when Zushi’s eyes are wide and knowing. He knows something. Of course, he does – because Gon is so painfully obvious. What was he thinking? Rambling about Killua like that, going on and on about him, Killua was right – he is embarrassing. Zushi didn’t miss a beat. He was smiling knowingly at Gon.

“Oh wow… are you done? Talking about him, I mean – you can keep going if you want – he sounds great, I’ve got nothing else to do today, so if you want, we can sit here for the rest of the day and talk about how cool Killua is-“

“S-Stop! You are so silly…” Gon flushed – like bright red – his skin burning with embarrassment.

This only further encouraged Zushi’s teasing, his eyes gaining a bright glint, “No – I mean, Killua must be really nice to you, even nicer than your other new friends, right? I bet he treats you really nice…”

“Yes – he does! So what?” Gon declared, “We’re good friends.”

Zushi almost rolled his eyes. Yeah, really good buddies.

“And – does Killua reciprocate these… strong friendly feelings?” Zushi was embarrassed asking such a silly question but wants to know more. It was obvious how Gon felt, and as his best friend, it is his job to support him.

“I-I mean, yes he does see me as a close friend… I think he does… by the way he acts,” but he couldn’t assume he did, “we’re friends, at the very least.”

“Has he ever suggested – maybe, I don’t know – wanting more?”

More

The question shocked Gon into silence.

He knows the answer already, but to admit it aloud, well that was just different. Before now he could at least pretend it isn’t real. Gon could lie to himself – quite easily, actually – about how Killua felt about him. If only to make himself feel better, he could lie. He could look at Killua and see hope – the possibility of more – even as a joke. A cruel one.

“No – no, he doesn’t… no.”

Gon refused to look into the camera, he refused to see the look of pity or sadness on his friend’s face. It was bad enough admitting it aloud. This was torture already – but to see the look of defeat on someone else – he couldn’t handle that. Not now.

“That’s because you aren’t using the right tactics, Gon.”

That certainly wasn’t the reply he was expecting. Honey eyes clashed with hazel ones, and Zushi wasn’t at all saddened. Quite the opposite, actually, he appeared excited – thrilled. It scared Gon a little.

“The right what?”

“Tactics – I mean, he probably doesn’t see you that way because all you guys do is act like friends, which is cool – but he needs a push in the right direction, you know what I mean?”

No, Gon had no idea what he meant

He doesn’t want to push Killua in the right direction – or anywhere, for that matter

He just wants Killua to like him for what he is now

However, the way Zushi spoke caught his attention. There was so much confidence and trust in his voice, maybe he did make a good point. All Gon ever did with Killua is play on his skateboard and joke around – which is fun, and exciting – but couples did other stuff, right? They held hands and kissed… and other stuff.

Holding hands with Killua

Kissing Killua

Being close to Killua

Zushi must’ve noticed his speeding heart and sweating palms because he chuckled across the screen. “You are so lame – on my gosh.”

“I am not!” Gon cried out with blazing cheeks.

“Sure you are, but that doesn’t matter – you know what does matter? Making Killua like you back – so you guys can hold hands and make out like a gross couple.” Zushi stuck his tongue out playfully, making fake gagging sounds – and Gon sputtered awkwardly. This must be how Killua feels around him.

“Ugh – okay, I get it, but what do I do? I can’t just… randomly start holding his hand and flirting, right? I don’t even understand how flirting works – does it even work?” the desperation in his voice made him cringe, and he swore to never sound so pathetic again.

Zushi considered him carefully, unsure if he should say anything at all. Gon was oblivious about a lot of things – things that even Zushi understood better, despite his young age. Should he really taint his friend’s innocent mind? It felt wrong – even weird.

“I mean… I’m not an expert at all – but maybe you could…” the words trailed off into silence, and Zushi immediately regretted saying anything at all. He couldn’t possibly tell Gon to do that. He’s never done it himself – he only ever saw it on teen drama shows – and usually it ended up badly for them. If Gon did end up doing it for some bizarre reason, and Aunt Mito ever found out… oh gosh – Zushi was dead.

“No – no, now you have to tell me, Zushi! What were you suggesting?”

Even if Zushi did tell Gon – there’s no way he would go through with it. He could never, in a million years, go through with it. There really is no harm in clueing his friend in on it a little – it is his best friend duty to keep him in the loop, anyway.

“You could send him… like… private pictures…”

Private….

Pictures?

“What do you mean? Like selfies?”

This was a bad idea – Zushi knew it was. Still, it was too late to back down now. His poor, clueless friend, needs him! “No – I mean if you want – but I meant like… I don’t know, something more suggestive?”

Suddenly, it clicked.

Gon could feel his gears turning, and Zushi was making a lot of sense now.

They were talking about nudes

The shriek that filled the house made Aunt Mito drop her mug.

Chapter Text

Maybe Gon was exaggerating a little bit

But he definitely was not

“N-Nudes, you want me to send Killua NUDES-“

“Oh my gosh, can you keep it down before Aunt Mito runs into your room and throws your laptop out the window?!” Zushi was horrified with Gon’s sudden outburst – he knew the reaction would be bad – but his friend seriously needed to control himself, or at the very least his voice.

“I-I don’t understand, I mean,” Gon finally took a deep breath, anything to calm his buzzing nerves, “why would you suggest that – how could you suggest that – how do you even know about that?”

“I’m only a year younger than you Gon – I’m literally about to turn 14 – it isn’t exactly a big secret either.” Zushi tried to hide his blush, but it’s nearly impossible.

Logically Gon understood how Zushi knew about… nudes. But the idea still seemed so far-fetched. Zushi… his innocent friend – at least as innocent as Gon is, or so he believed – was suggesting Gon send nudes to Killua? After he specifically told him holding hands was impossible for them? It made no sense at all. Connecting the dots is impossible. How his friend jumped from one extreme to the next is so out of Gon’s ability to comprehend, he honestly felt exhausted.

“I don’t mean anything crazy – and it won’t be like you just randomly start sending pics, obviously you start a conversation – don’t look at me like that, Gon!” Zushi fumed at the wide-eyed look he was receiving from his friend.

“I’m sorry Zushi… but how exactly do I ease myself into a conversation about nudes? Because I’m not sure if I made this clear – but we text about dumb stuff, like movies and memes, so how do I even start that kind of conversation?” Gon emphasized with a dramatic sigh – he wants to understand better – maybe Zushi was on to something. Still, he is clueless to all things dating related, so how was Zushi any better off than him?

Both boys grew up together closely – with only a couple of other neighboring kids – so they never really had a chance to explore their… romantic interests. Not only were they too young to care about that stuff, but they were all extremely awkward kids – weird kids. That never bothered them, because to them, that was how life was. Zushi mentioned having a crush once on a girl, but the topic never came up again, so Gon assumed his friend was either kidding or lost interest at some point. They were only 10 years old, so their attention spans were horrid.

“You can start by flirting – obviously. I know you’re awkward about this stuff, but texting could make it easier for you! Don’t make it too obvious or weird, start with simple compliments – I’m sure you do it all the time without even realizing it!” the encouragement in Zushi’s voice only made Gon more hesitant. His friend was being so supportive – he isn’t mocking him at all – it’s really sweet. Still, this felt like a bad idea.

Now that he thought about it, Gon did compliment Killua a lot. Maybe not a crazy amount – but enough to be considered strange for a couple of platonic friends. He even called him beautiful once when they were practicing skateboard tricks, and Killua performed an especially impressive move. The scarlet color that spread across Killua’s face made Gon feel all kinds of giddy feelings – but that was it. He never pushed further than simple compliments – too afraid to scare the Zoldyck away. (click if you wanna read my mini skateboarding fic)

“I know it’s uncomfortable to talk about this, Gon – but doesn’t it make you happy,  too?” Zushi offered him a gentle smile, and that alone was enough for Gon to offer his own smile.

Zushi made a good point. Yes – Killua makes him nervous. Nervous enough to throw up, actually. But those nerves were… happy nerves. Excited nerves. They make him want to jump around and tell everyone about his feelings – including Killua.

“It does make me happy… so happy.”

That was enough confirmation for Zushi. “Good – so just try to text him a bit and see how he reacts. If you think he’s definitely uncomfortable – just stop. It isn’t so hard, right?”

Right.

After video chatting with Zushi for almost 4 hours, they finally said their goodbyes. It was already half past six in the evening, so his entire day was spent catching up with his best friend. Saying goodbye felt sad – but at least they have a permanent form of communication – so it wasn’t a forever goodbye, like it was on Whale Island. With a promise to chat again soon, Gon disconnected the call, and immediately pulled out his cell phone.

You can start by flirting

Easier said than done, Zushi.

Gon could count the number of times he’s intentionally flirted with someone on one hand – mostly because the number was zero – no hands were needed. Living on a remote island, far away from the influence of technology, and most other things that teens his age grew up surrounded by – Gon can easily be named the most clueless teen ever. There was never any mention of romance or sexual tension in his lifetime – his aunt and granny made sure of that. He doesn’t blame them for carefully dancing around the subject, but at the very least Zushi had his father to properly explain those topics to him… unlike Gon.

He is a growing boy after all.

When he did see kissing or making out – usually on the rare time he could watch television – the questions would linger in his mind. How does that feel? It filled him with embarrassment and uncertainty. Because his aunt absolutely would smack him for thinking such dirty things. To her, Gon was her innocent and untouchable baby boy – and some part of him wants to remain that way. Not only in her eyes, but in his own eyes.

And until now, it was simple.

But now… Killua

His storming eyes

His moonlit skin

His playful voice

Gon wants more now. He wants to reach across that carefully drawn barrier, and for once, experience more. To touch. To explore. To caress. In hopes that perhaps… his desires are reciprocated.

So, for now, he can start by flirting.

With his tongue out thoughtfully, Gon pressed his messenger app, and sent Killua a quick greeting. Not even a minute later, he receives a reply.

6:45 pm

Message to sk8ter boy 💙

Gon: Heya Killuaaa :)

Sk8ter boy: yo wassup

Gon: I just finished video chatting a friend on Whale Island!

Sk8ter boy: oh cool, who r they?

Gon: Zushi, we basically grew up on Whale Island together

Gon: he’s like a little brother :P

Sk8ter boy: cute, im happy u two got to talk

Gon: thanks!

Gon huffed quietly, his cheeks puffed up. How could he get this conversation into a different direction? So far, they were chatting in a friendly and chill manner – like they usually did – but this wasn’t enough. Gon has to push out of his comfort zone a bit. He could ask what Killua was doing… and then what? It was much more difficult than he imagined.

The islander silently thought about all the teen dramas he watched as a pre-teen.

Maybe he can use them as inspiration now.

Before he can even muster another reply, Gon hears his phone ping. Apparently Killua was already starting his own conversation.

Sk8ter boy: Alluka says hi btw

Sk8ter boy: she also wants pics of Kon

Gon: that can be arranged :)

Sk8ter boy: lol thanks

Gon: sure, anything for you!

Sk8ter boy: youre so embarrassing

This is his opportunity – an embarrassed Killua means he did something good!

Gon: I’m just being honest, I can’t say no to you :P

Sk8ter boy: as if

Sk8ter boy: shut up

Gon: make me ;)

Sk8ter boy: omg wwhat

Sk8ter boy: what is wrong wwith u

Gon: what do you mean?

Gon: you’re the one acting weird, not me :)

Sk8ter boy: ok ok stop weirdo

Gon: make. me.

Sk8ter boy: u are so lucky im not standing in front of u

Gon: I wish you were, I miss looking at you

A silent pause.

Gon stares down at his phone expectantly and is surprised to see Killua doesn’t reply as quickly as he does before. Maybe he’s busy – maybe – but probably not. The typing dots appear and disappear, showing his friend’s hesitation. Gon bites his bottom lip, unsure if maybe he was pushing his luck. Killua could feel uncomfortable, and maybe, he’s trying to find a way to tell Gon to stop creeping him out.

Maybe he’s trying to let him down easy again.

So far, the islander hasn’t sent anything scandalous or out of the ordinary. Yeah, he was being a little forward – but that was the usual for him. This is nothing new.

Another ping shakes him out of his thoughts, and he can feel his breath leave him.

Sk8ter boy: what do you miss looking at the most?

Gon: your eyes

Sk8ter boy: [image sent]

Sk8ter boy: there u go, weirdo

Looking down at his screen, Gon feels his hands tremble a bit. Killua sent him a simple picture of only his eyes. The rest of the image is scribbled out with a drawing tool – only his blue eyes visible. The dark patches beneath his eyes are visible too, although hardly. Gon can see the playful look in his eyes – he’s playing with him. Indulging in his silly flirting game, and to Gon’s amazement, he seems to be enjoying it.

Also – Gon wasn’t the first one to send a picture.

Yeah, it isn’t a nude – obviously – but some would argue it’s even more intimate. If any other person were to see the picture, they would be confused. Nothing but a pair of blue eyes. Gorgeous blue eyes, of course. Stunning. But only Gon can understand the message behind them. Nobody else. That made a tickle run down his spine.

Gon: <3

Sk8ter boy: i look tired af ew

Gon: that adds to your charm

Sk8ter boy: u are so cringe

Gon: you love cringe, that’s why you watch so many compilations on youtube

Gon: anyway, now you tell me what you miss about me :)

Sk8ter boy: I guess ur abs

Sk8ter boy: wait u don’t have any, haha

Gon: say sike right now

Sk8ter boy: you dont have abs, sorry nothing can change my mind

Gon: but I have proof

The setup couldn’t have been better. Gon is lucky he doesn’t share his physical education class with Killua, otherwise the other boy would already know he does in fact have abs. It isn’t something the islander goes around showing off because he honestly doesn’t see the point. He spends a lot of time doing yardwork, and most of his childhood was spent outdoors climbing trees and fishing – the outcome is obvious. Not to Killua, apparently.

This is probably the… strangest moment in Gon’s young life.

He locks his door shut – paranoia eating him on the inside – if Aunt Mito ever caught him doing this, she would lose her mind. He was risking his life here, and for what? Some awkward pictures to send to his friend. Well, crush. The outcome was the same. If she ever found out, it doesn’t matter who he’s sending them to – both people are dead.

Not to mention the horrid embarrassment.

Time to test out his sneaky abilities.

__________________

Alluka sat on top her bed while carefully painting her toenails. She usually makes her big brother paint them for her – since she can’t reach them very well on her own – however, she can see him staring down at his phone with a silly smile, and she simply couldn’t push herself to ask him. She can handle some sloppy nail work if it means her big brother can smile like that for a little longer.

She already knows who is on the other side of that screen.

Ever since their visit to Gon’s house, Killua has been glued to his phone. He texts on it almost all the time, and when Gon sends him a message, he doesn’t hesitate to reply – never taking more than a couple minutes to get back to him. It was honestly kind of adorable. Alluka has never seen her brother like this before.

“Big brother,” she pauses her nail painting, voice gentle, “can you do me a favor?”

Killua finally stares up from his obsessive messaging, giving Alluka an eager smile, “What’s up?”

She wants to see what’s up with their texting

“Can you…” she scrambles for any excuse – anything to force him to step away from the phone – and her eyes instantly light up, “can you cut me some watermelon? I just painted my nails, so, you know how it is – can’t risk messing them up.”

For only a moment Killua hesitates. He can hear a ping from his phone, and he twitches slightly. “Yeah I’ll cut you some – it’s cold so it’ll probably taste better – but I’m stealing a few pieces.”

With a mischievous smile, Alluka watches her big brother stand – leaving his phone on the bed – and walks away. Really, it was his own fault. How could he leave himself to defenseless and exposed? His smartphone lays innocently on her bed, and as soon as she hears the door click behind him, she jumps for it.

Another ping.

Gon was certainly excited, wasn’t he? Texting her brother back and forth like this – he knows exactly what he’s doing. Alluka unlocks the phone with too much ease, entering her own birthday as the passcode, and only for a second hesitates to open the messaging app. Was this a breach of trust – of personal intimacy? Killua would be furious if he ever found out she was snooping around on his phone. This was their private conversation, after all.

Still, it is her duty as his sister to snoop. If she doesn’t, then what kind of sibling is she? Plus, she needs to make sure Gon is good enough for him. So, without further interruption, she clicks the messaging app open.

Only to reveal something she definitely was not expecting

Oh wow

Oh my gosh

So he does have abs…

Alluka felt her cheeks heat up, and her eyes widen. She can’t look away. The image is… quite informative. Most of their texting seems innocent and playful, but for some bizarre reason, Gon sent this picture now – and maybe she shouldn’t be snooping after all. She doubts her big brother has seen this at all, otherwise he would never have made the mistake of leaving his phone behind. Never.

It isn’t a scandalous picture… no, not really

Only a shirtless selfie, actually – quite tame, when compared to regular nudes – yet for some odd reason, it still has the same effect as a full body nude. Gon smiles teasingly at the camera, his dimples on full display, as well as his undeniable abs. Her big brother is seriously dumb for thinking he doesn’t have abs – the boy grew up on an island where all he did was climb trees and play something horrific called handstand soccer.

Maybe he was playing dumb on purpose?

Seems like something her brother would do, honestly.

The door handle to her room twists open, and she jumps in her spot, sighing when she sees it’s only Killua holding a plate of carefully sliced watermelon. If it were anyone else – like, Illumi – Alluka would’ve been doomed.

“What are you doing?”

Oh yeah, she almost forgot she was just caught snooping.

“Nothing… I suggest you take a look at your messages,” Alluka stands from her bed, placing the phone down, and takes the plate of watermelon, “you might find something shocking.”

That scares Killua. He rushes past her and unlocks his phone in only seconds. Alluka takes a bite of a watermelon piece, watching her brother with playful eyes. Suddenly – his cheeks are blazing red.

“Oh my god… Gon,” his voice is a mumble, and it almost sounds like he’s struggling to speak, “I guess that proves me wrong.”

Alluka nearly chokes on her watermelon. “You guess? I – I seriously can’t handle this…”

Blue eyes clash with her, and she is full blown laughing now. Like – tears in her eyes, laughing out loud. Killua just stands there, shirtless Gon pic out, and stares at her. His embarrassment was unrivaled.

“You – You saw this?” He chokes out.

Alluka needs to place her plate of watermelon down for a moment because this was priceless. Seriously priceless. The way her brother freezes in place, like Alluka wasn’t the one to warn him, it makes her want to pull her hair in frustration. “Duh – Duh I saw that!”

Suddenly, another ping.

Killua’s head snaps, and he stares down at his phone.

“What?! What did he say – no, what did you say?” Alluka moves closer to see, but her brother’s hand holds her back, “aw, come on, it’s too late to hide it from me.”

“It’s none of your business, Alluka, oh my god-“

“I disagree! If it’s about you, it is my business,” she sticks her tongue out, “do not deny me the fruit of my labor! I’m just as much committed to this relationship as you are!”

His hand doesn’t move, and she huffs, “at least tell me what you replied with – please!”

“No! That’s your punishment for snooping,” his fingers slide across the phone screen, “I am also changing my passcode right now, so this never happens again.” Before she can cry out in protest, the older boy moves past her and runs into the restroom – locking the door behind him. Alluka is left shocked and dumbstruck.

“Aw – boo you!”

She never did find out what his response was.

Killua slept in the bathroom that night.

Chapter Text

Maybe doing this last minute was a bad idea

Better late than never

“You promise to be home by 8pm? Remember it’s cookie night, and if you don’t help make them-“

“I won’t get to eat any – I know Aunt Mito, I’ll be home in time to help,” Gon could hear Leorio chuckling beside him and stuck his tongue out playfully, “we’re only shopping for a mask, I already have my tuxedo, so don’t worry – I’ll be home by 8pm, not a minute later!” His aunt nagged him a minute more, then begged him to be careful – not to lose his money or cell phone. Gon patiently listened with a pout, wanting this to be over with already so he could go ahead and start shopping. Leorio didn’t seem to mind the hold up as he was on his own phone, probably texting Kurapika for the nth time today.

“I love you baby, please be careful – but also have fun – but also be very careful-“

“Okay, I promise, yeah – bye Aunt Mito, love you too!” Gon pulled the phone away from his ear, eagerly pressing the end call button. He sighed with relief, glad to finally get this started.

“Sounds like you have some pretty good parents, Gon,” Leorio slid his own phone back into the pocket of his jeans, smiling down at Gon kindly, “I’ll try my best to get you back on time so you don’t have any trouble at home.”

The islander smiles up at Leorio with warm eyes, “Thanks Leorio, I really appreciate this – you showing me around the shopping district, and taking time to pick me up and drop me back off,” Gon beams, sunlight hitting his skin tenderly and highlighting his freckled cheeks, “Aunt Mito appreciates it, too.”

Leorio brushed him off, a bashful grin spreading on his lips, “Don’t mention it – I need to buy my own mask too, so no big deal – plus you still haven’t explored this area in Yorknew, so it’s about time someone gives you a proper tour.”

A proper tour.

Gon hardly had time to explore the city since his move because classes are kind of kicking his butt right now. He has Kurapika’s help – and even Leorio does what he can, too – however, even with all the aid he has, he still manages to barely keep a passing grade in most of his classes. Everything besides P.E and Theater goes way over his head, but somehow, he finds the time to study every night until he can at least pass the exams and quizzes. All that studying leaves little time for anything besides chores and grocery shopping for Aunt Mito and Abe.

Thankfully today Leorio graciously offered to drive them out to the shopping district for some much-needed mask shopping. The Homecoming dance is literally tomorrow night, and Gon still hasn’t bought a mask for the masquerade theme. He wasn’t even aware of needing a mask until Kurapika explained what a masquerade actually is, and what the theme requires. Imagine Gon’s surprise when he thought masquerade was just a fancy word for “formal” dance.

He can still remember the sound of Kurapika’s laughter.

Unfortunately for the duo, Kurapika could not accompany them on their shopping adventure today – he’s busy blowing balloons and hanging up banners for the dance. Him and the entire Student Council are required to stay after classes today to finish setting things up – there was a lot of bitching and moaning about it, until Kurapika gave everyone the death glare, and they were quick to shut up.

“What kind of tux are you wearing, Gon?” Leorio glanced at the smaller boy, walking along the cemented path with carefree ease. Many other people litter the district. Young women carrying numerous shopping bags. Couples holding hands. Entire families walking together joyfully pointing out interesting shops they pass.

“Uh – um… a regular tux?” Gon chuckled nervously, unaware there are different types of tuxedos, “like um – black I guess, with a green bow tie.”

“A green bow tie? Sounds like something you’d wear,” Leorio grinned, slowing his pace as they approach the shop he’s been looking for, “are you looking for a flashy mask? Like feathers, glitter, gemstones – the whole shebang – or maybe something simple and classy?”

Gon thought over the question, wondering what these masks actually look like. A mask with feathers and gemstones sounded overtop – and more importantly, expensive. He was only planning on wearing this for one night, after all. Aunt Mito didn’t give him an exact budget for the mask, but he assumed she didn’t expect this thing to cost very much either. Still, looking doesn’t cost anything, and the store appears to be filled with interesting attire.

The shop Leorio led them to was named Phantom Rogue, which sounds kind of silly, but also mysterious. The exterior is dark and framed with several black and white roses. Gon follows close behind Leorio as he enters the store – the entrance has numerous displays – gothic dresses, lacy Lolita headdresses, and a few interesting looking clown accessories. How did Leorio even discover this shop? Gon couldn’t imagine his friend walking in here and doing some shopping on his own – maybe Kurapika drags him here? Gon somehow doubts Kurapika knows about this shop at all.

“You’re probably wondering what kind of shop this is, and how I even found it, but you’d be surprised to know the truth,” Leorio moved past a couple t-shirt displays, excusing himself when he accidentally bumps into a customer camouflaged in gothic attire, “Chrollo, the student council vice president – you already know him, because Kurapika complains about the guy so much – he actually works here, him and a group of his friends.”

Chrollo works here – and Leorio shops here

“That’s weird…” Gon accidentally stumbles on a pair of dark and spikey boots, awkwardly apologizing to nobody, “and this place sells masks?”

Leorio chuckles a bit, “Yeah, I mean – if any place does, it’s this place – look around,” he gestures to all the surrounding merchandise, “it’s full of weird formal stuff, plus we get like 40% off for being friends with the manager, Chrollo.”

“We’re friends with Chrollo?” Gon squints suspiciously at the comment.

“Well – friends is a loose term – Kurapika is technically his friend, and we are friends by association, or whatever,” the taller teen searches for a nearby employee, finally seeing someone a couple aisles down, “just trust me, Gon – have I ever been wrong?”

That must be a trick question, Gon thinks.

They approach the employee from behind, they have long dark hair that reaches to the very bottom of their back, “Excuse us, can we have some assistance please?” Leorio speaks respectfully.

The employee – or assumed employee, Gon isn’t quite sure why Leorio thinks this person works here – turns rigidly to face them. His eyes are blank and dark, expressionless, and he doesn’t even blink at the pair. Gon feels a shiver run down his spine, and for some odd reason, recognizes this person. This stranger seemed familiar in some way. The pale skin, the cool aura – something rang alarms in his head, but he remained silent.

“I don’t work here,” the stranger replies simply, eyes darting down at Gon, “my friend does.”

His friend

As if summoned, another figure approaches the trio, tall and eager. Like polar opposites, the man that approaches them is dressed in strange attire – his face is painted with a star and a tear drop – reminding Gon of a clown, or a jest. He smiles wide and wickedly, eyes slender, “that would be little old me, pleasure to be of service.”

Leorio stares wide-eyed at both men, before sighing, and settling on the clown, “you uh – work here?”

“Strange, isn’t it?” the man smirks, eyes gleaming down at Gon especially, before darting back to Leorio, “I’d fit much better in a circus, but I’m afraid they don’t provide health insurance.”

The man standing beside him rolls his eyes, “idiot.”

Both Gon and Leorio glance at each other, unsure of how to react, before the hair-dyed employee spoke up again.

“My name is Hisoka – my friend here, is Illumi, although there really is no point in knowing his name,” he points at his own employee tag covered in shiny stickers, “he refuses to work anywhere because his family spoils him.”

“Do not share information about me,” Illumi hisses from besides, “I will hurt you.”

“Oh no – I’m simply shivering with fear – how will I survive your adorable wrath?” Hisoka mocks playfully with a wink, and Leorio face palms.

“Look um – Hisoka – we’re just trying to buy some masquerade masks,” Leorio finally begins to explain, wanting this interaction to be as quick and painless as possible, his patience was running thin. “we’re kind of in a rush.”

“Oh how delightful – a masquerade – am I invited?”

Gon nervously shuffles his feet, unsure of what to do. The two men were strange – weirdly intimidating – it makes him a bit uncomfortable. The taller one, Hisoka, kept glancing at him with hungry eyes for no reason at all. Gon hasn’t even spoken yet – and still – the guy gave him strange looks every few seconds. Illumi was full on glaring at him. No shame at all. He wasn’t even trying to hide it. Does he know these people?

“It’s a Homecoming dance thing – so no, can you just point us out to where they are?” Leorio was trying his best to hide his anger, but that never really worked out for him, “if you can’t we can just find someone else to help.”

“Oh no – don’t be upset, I’m simply joking around a bit,” Hisoka winks, “get it? Because I’m a clown.”

Gon laughs a bit, unable to stop himself because that was the worst joke ever – like ever – and he always laughs at bad jokes. “Is that your uniform or do you just choose to dress that way?”

Leorio frowns at him, clearly upset with him encouraging their obnoxious behavior, but Gon couldn’t help himself. The guy was weird. Really weird. He wants to know if he dresses like a clown for fun – or what.

“He dresses like this often.” Illumi replies instead, “and the masks are beside the dressing rooms.”

Leorio sighs with relief, “thank you – okay, bye now.” Wasting no time at all, he pulls Gon aside and begins to walk away from the strange duo as quickly as possible. He had noticed the creepy glances they were giving Gon and wanted nothing more than to punch them straight in the jaw but didn’t act on it for the simple reason of avoiding conflict.

“I recommend a simple metallic green color for you – your face would look well with even a plain mask,” Hisoka suggests as they walk further away. Gon glances behind for a moment, and catches him smiling playfully their way, giving him a wink when their eyes meet. A shiver runs down his neck.

The pair walk further away, as far away as possible when inside the same shop and can at last see the masks hanging from beside the dressing area. The simpler looking ones are displayed at the very bottom, and they become progressively more elaborate the higher they go. At the very top he can see masks that cover the face entirely with gems and silky streams – the paint is holographic even. The price is what shocks him most. A tag on the mask clearly reads 20,000 jenny. Gon rubs his eyes. Nope, still 20,000 jenny.

“I would ignore the top display and stick to the bottom half,” Leorio suggests, “most masquerade events are held for high class parties – not high school dances.”

Taking the suggestion to heart, Gon moves to admire the bottom displays – which aren’t as flashy or colorful, but still appear elegant and well made. His eyes roam over the various styles and designs, some having few gemstones, while others remain plain and simple. A single mask catches his attention – metallic green. The half mask is lined with silver designs but remains very simple. No gems, feathers, jewels – nothing but color and line art.

The islander gently outlines the art with his index finger, feeling the material beneath his touch, “I think this one looks nice,” he comments more to himself than to Leorio, “and the price is low, too.”

Leorio moves to stand beside him, picking up the mask in question, “looks decent – and it’s green, so it’ll match your tuxedo,” he holds the mask out to Gon, visualizing it on him, “I’m no fashion icon – but I approve.”

“Fashion icon?” Gon laughs, “you know who is one? – Killua,” an idea brightens his eyes, and Gon pulls out his phone, “maybe I should ask a fashion icon.”

Before he can even push the messenger app, Leorio pulls the phone away, “No – you don’t wanna ruin the surprise, right?” he turns the phone off, returning it to Gon with a knowing grin, “I thought you wanted to impress him at the dance – you should shock him with how elegant you look, am I right?”

Gon feels his cheeks brighten considerably, and he stutters to reply, “I – I guess, uh yeah.”

“Also you would have to admit he’s a fashion icon, and that kid already has a massive head,” Leorio adds jokingly, “it’s just unnecessary, really – if you like the mask, buy it.”

Gon found himself agreeing with Leorio. He does like the mask – he likes it a lot. The color is beautiful, the design is pretty to look at, and maybe he doesn’t have much experience with formal attire – but he can imagine himself wearing it. He can imagine himself at the Homecoming dance, with his tuxedo and green bow tie, wearing this mask. That is good enough for him. He smiles down at the mask, already deciding on buying it.

Leorio spends another half an hour picking out his own mask – trying each on, even the ridiculously expensive ones – being careful to choose the one he likes best but can also afford. While they continue looking, Leorio tells Gon about his part-time job at a nursing home. How it helps him get experience and earn some cash on the side – and Gon beams at his every word because it amazes him how dedicated his friends are. Leorio speaks about his job with so much passion and enthusiasm that he even forgets about the masks for a while.

“I want to get a part-time job, too – but Aunt Mito worries about me easily, I don’t want to make her stress even more,” Gon glances down at his feet, finding them easier to look at than his friend at the moment, “even going out today took a lot of convincing – I had to promise to do all the laundry for the next month – which is weird because she was never like this back home.”

Leorio listened to him carefully, nodding when he finished, “Yorknew is different from Whale Island, you know?” his voice is understanding and Gon looks up at him, “Your aunt does good to be concerned – the city, especially such a big city like this, is dangerous – but I’m sure you can find a part-time job that she’ll approve of.”

Both teens chat a while longer about what kind of job would suit Gon best – Gon insists he can do fast food, but Leorio begs to differ. After an hour of being inside the shop, Leorio finally decides on a black mask decorated with white lace around the edges. He tries it on a couple times, even taking a few selfies, then checks to see if the price is doable – which it is. Only a hundred more jenny than Gon’s own mask. Finally, the pair can leave the shop.

After paying at the check-out area, Hisoka is standing near the entrance giving them one last cheeky smile. Leorio pushes Gon ahead, glaring at the guy as they exit the shop. They can feel his eyes on them even as they walk away – Gon chances one last look behind him and can see Illumi staring back at him, eyes unblinking and cold. He tries to forget the odd encounter, but those eyes make his head hurt. Something about him is familiar.

Leorio takes him to a couple more shops – many of them being full of interesting trinkets and collectibles – but they don’t spend too much time in them.

Eventually they decide the trip is over and Leorio drives Gon all the way back to his house. He promises to see him at school tomorrow, then makes sure he enters the house before finally driving away.

Gon arrives just in time to start making the cookies that night, and he gets to eat an entire plate of them – they remind him of Killua. He would love these.

Killua

Why does it feel like he’s missing something.

_______________________

“You heard it, right? – the masquerade those two are going to,”

“Yes, it must be the same one Kil is attending.” Illumi stares unblinking at his friend, not allowing a single emotion to betray him. He knows that boy. That boy – he is the one. The short one, with muddy eyes and a shy smile.

“So what? Your brother starts attending school dances – how can you know this boy has anything to do with it?” Hisoka licks his lower lip, a hunger in his eyes that wasn’t there before, “looks like a normal kid, if you ask me.”

A normal boy.

So very ordinary and bland

Nothing like Killua

“He does appear that way,” Illumi speaks with distaste – with a crinkle in his nose – a bad taste in his mouth when he thinks of the boy, “but Kil is usually drawn to the ordinary ones – the simple ones. Much like how he baby’s our brother.”

“Aw – now you just sound like an overprotective brother, Illumi,” Hisoka lifts a playful hand up and caresses the other’s cheek, “picking favorites is no fair – Killua has always been your favorite, hasn’t he?” It was less of a question, and more of a statement. A truth. A reality. Illumi never admits it, but among all his siblings, Killua stands above the rest. Like an emperor, he rules his mind at all times – it is his duty to nurture and protect him from all distractions.

This boy is trouble

Illumi brushes his hand aside, “I do not have favorites,” he stands to grab his jacket, pulling the sleeves on robotically, “everything I do is for my family – all of my family.”

Liar

Why do you lie?

“He hates you – you do know that, right?” Hisoka moves close behind him, a warm whisper beside his pierced ear, “the way he looks at you – his own brother – that isn’t love.”

Love is overrated

“I do not need his love to protect him – even if he dies hating me – I do this for our family.” Illumi takes a step away from Hisoka, prepared to leave the shop as soon as possible. Hisoka has a nasty habit of saying whatever he pleases – even if it means being an annoying shit. It makes Illumi seriously reconsider their friendship. The only real reason he keeps the clown around is to vent – when he wants to vent, of course, which is rarely. Usually Hisoka just interrogates him with ridiculous questions and ideas – as if Illumi isn’t already aware of the hate behind Kil’s eyes. As if he doesn’t witness it firsthand.

But if there’s anything his father taught him, anything at all

Love is sacrifice

And if Illumi must be hated

He will accept it with open arms. Because that is what family does.

Chapter Text

“Okay – say cheese!”

“I’m lactose intolerant – but cheese!”   

After the flash, Gon turned and gave Leorio a funny smile. He had no idea his friend was lactose intolerant – he’s eaten cheese pizza before. Unless he was just lying to make a joke, in which case his aunt didn’t seem to be laughing – she was horrified. Like she accidentally kicked a puppy, horrified.

“Oh no – I had no idea! That was insensitive of me,” she mumbles to herself, “maybe we can take one using a different word, like um – we could say cookie or something – can you eat cookies?”

“Without milk, yes – but I don’t mind just keeping the one we have.” Leorio politely smiles, reassuring his aunt.

“Yeah, plus the whole point of saying cheese is to smile – saying cookie doesn’t make you smile, Aunt Mito.” Gon clarified.

Mito chuckles, eyes crinkled with laughter, “oh whatever – you two look dashing in this picture!”

Dashing is one way of describing them.

Gon nervously fiddled with his tuxedo coat – his hair a bit more styled than usual, gel painting the tips of his spiked hair – he appeared much more mature in the formal attire. His usual boisterous appearance was well masked behind the new cologne and wardrobe he wore tonight. If Zushi could see him now, he would likely call him striking, or even handsome. It was an unusual feeling for the islander. To wear something so… out of his comfort zone.

Gon’s mask is tightly held in his hands, unworn.

They wouldn’t wear the masks until actually arriving at the school dance – the ride there would be too uncomfortable while wearing them. Both Kurapika and Leorio agreed.

Killua’s attendance to the dance is still uncertain, and the group hasn’t heard from the young Zoldyck since last night. Gon sent him a quick goodnight text that was left unanswered.

“Well – we should be heading out now, Aunt Mito,” Gon kisses her on the cheek lovingly, a bright smile on his lips, “Kurapika is waiting for us in the car – so I don’t wanna keep him waiting too long.”

Mito nods anxiously, returning his kiss with her own kiss on his forehead, “Have fun, kiddo – but also be responsible, and don’t stay out too late – my phone always stays on in case you need anything, alright?” her words are hurried and overprotective – but Gon listens anyway, maintaining eye contact and nodding to every little thing she says. He always takes her worries seriously, and now is no exception.

After agreeing to text her when he arrives, the duo finally leave the house and head out to the car where Kurapika sits patiently wearing a fedora.

Gon doesn’t comment on it, and Leorio doesn’t explain.

The drive is full of sarcastic comments and awkward flirting.

But Gon can only think of one person.

_________________

Killua.

Before tonight, he was certain that attending the dance would be impossible – both his parents are home, and Illumi is in the house instead of at his university. The one night he was planning to sneak off, his entire family decides to stay home – at this point it really is a work of divine punishment for all the chocorobo bars he’s wasted money on, despite refusing to admit that they are actually a waste of money. (maybe a few a week aren’t a waste – but more than twenty and we’re pushing it)

The night was like any other night. Father in the study, mother in the garden, and every Zoldyck sibling in their own bedroom – with the exception of Killua crashing in Alluka’s room. That was expected of him, anyway – he spends most of his time in her bedroom – his own bedroom usually remained closed off and cold. He only enters the abandoned room to change and sometimes study when he doesn’t want to bother Alluka.  

Tonight, despite his best efforts to avoid the subject altogether, Alluka mentions the dance.

“I’m not going.”

That should have been enough to appease her. He warned her about this – about maybe not being able to attend if it felt too risky. She must’ve heard it as a joke because the smile she wears doesn’t falter for a moment.

“You only have an hour to prepare before the dance begins,” she pushes herself off the bed, spinning around playfully before pushing open her closet doors, “I was thinking you could do something different with your hair – but I love it the way it is – so maybe a natural look is best, your hair is so soft anyway that – “

“I said I am not going to attend the dance,” he repeats with more force. “Illumi is home – that changes a lot, plus it’s just a stupid dance anyway – nobody will even notice I’m gone.”

A stupid dance

….nobody will even notice –

“How can you say that?”

Alluka stares into her closet, refusing to turn and face her brother. She can’t look at him right now. Not while he’s acting like this. Her voice remains calm and doesn’t betray the storm of emotions beneath her whispered voice.

Still seated on the bed, Killua sighs, already anticipating the argument, “Alluka – you understand why I can’t go, there will be more school events to attend, it isn’t a big deal – “

“How do you know that nobody will miss you?”

The tone of her voice has changed drastically, and if Killua were anyone else – he would be frightened – but he isn’t. All he can do is sit still while staring at his feet. Alluka is using her lecture voice. Her strict, yet clearly upset voice. He knows it well.

“…If I get caught sneaking out, you could be hurt,” Killua explains, ignoring her question altogether, “they know how to punish me – they know it hurts me most when they harm you instead of me.”

Alluka still isn’t facing him, and it makes him beyond nervous. He would rather be able to see the anger and hate on her face – this feeling of not knowing drives him insane. She simply stands in front of her closet, and all he can do is wait. That’s all he can ever do.

“Big brother needs to take care of himself…” her voice is so small, he can hardly hear her, “he can’t always protect me.”

Maybe it’s his brotherly instinct speaking for him – or maybe he’s just insanely overprotective – but Killua strongly disagrees. “You’re wrong, Alluka,” he finally moves to stand beside her, “I will always protect you, even if you whine and complain about it – I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

Instead of a hug or a kiss – Alluka turns around with a frown. An angry one. She crosses her arms dramatically before speaking, “you know what hurts me? big brother not going to the dance!” the young Zoldyck stomps her foot, “you’re going because Gon will miss you there – and because I demand it!”

Killua hardly has enough time to complain before she pushes him into the bathtub, turning on the freezing cold water.

She doesn’t let him out until he finally agrees to attend.

_________________

This music could probably make ears bleed.

It isn’t bad – not at all – but the sheer volume of it could shatter eardrums. Maybe it was just Gon being sensitive – or maybe he isn’t accustomed to high school dance music – but he could hardly hear a word Kurapika was saying. Seriously. All he does in response is nod and smile, like an idiot.

The trio arrived only 20 minutes after the dance had already begun, and only a handful of students were present so far.

Kurapika sent Chrollo a distasteful frown while walking by his group of friends, and Leorio pulled him along before he could start any unnecessary arguments. The last thing they need now is a fight at the Homecoming dance. Luckily Chrollo didn’t seem to notice the look at all considering everyone, including Kurapika, is wearing a mask. Gon merely follows behind the couple, awkwardly hoping he isn’t intruding in their time together.

“How about we don’t glare at seniors, pika,” Leorio hides his anger with a tight smile, “I can’t believe you’re still pissed at him, get over it.”

Kurapika scoffs, arms crossed defiantly, “don’t tell me when to get over a grudge – you aren’t my boss.”

Gon walks closer to Kurapika’s side with a shy smile, “can we just try to have a good time while we’re here?” his voice is loud – he’s practically yelling – and Kurapika laughs.

“Yes, I suppose this is your first school dance, and I don’t want to ruin it for you,” the blond smiles down at him reassuringly, “and you don’t have to speak so loud, you know – I can hear you just fine over the music.”

The islander blushes a bit, nodding silently.

“So you listen to Gon – but not me?” Leorio asks jokingly, arms crossed against his chest, “how insulting, we’ve been dating for over a year!”

Kurapika retaliates with an eye roll, “Gon is my friend – you are my pet,” he gently pets Gon on the head, “he is also much cuter than you.”

Gon blushes madly, trying his best to not trip at the compliment. Since their arrival, people have been giving him appreciative looks – complete strangers! Some even appear to be seniors – one girl with dark tangled hair appeared especially enthralled by him. She was very openly glancing his way, even sending him smiles and winks, until Kurapika dragged him away with a heavy frown mumbling something about creepy and inappropriate seniors. All the islander could do is silently be pulled away.

Leorio ignores the insult – or pet name – and instead gestures to someone near the entrance, “Looks like the kid made it after all,” he smiles down at Gon, a knowing glint in his eyes, “I knew he’d show up eventually.”

It only took Gon a moment to realize what he meant, when his head turned so fast, he almost got whiplash. Standing by the entrance quite awkwardly was Killua – he wore a simple black tux with a matching black bow tie – it only took seconds for the young Zoldyck to catch Gon’s eyes with his own cerulean ones. They both stood in silent shock for less than a second – Killua appreciating Gon’s clean appearance, and Gon shamelessly ogling Killua – before Gon was beaming with excitement, practically running to the albino boy.

“Killuaaaaa!”

 The name was heard over the loud beating music, all the way across the room where said boy stood. He hardly had enough time to react when suddenly his arms were full of Gon – happy, laughing, excited Gon.

Kurapika and Leorio followed behind him, although at a much slower and relaxed pace, smiling at the display of affection between the two boys.

“G-Gon!” Killua tried – honestly, he did – to pull the islander boy off him, but Gon refused to let go, and Killua wasn’t about to use brute force on his friend. He didn’t mind the hug anyway, despite the embarrassment plastered on his face. “jeez… you are hopeless, you know? Acting like we haven’t seen each other in ages…”

It felt that way, Gon wanted to say – but refrained himself.

After the exchange of awkward shirtless selfies, both boys spent more time sending each other pictures – nothing lewd, but simple selfies and basically whatever interesting photos they could take. Gon sent a few too many frog pictures, with a number of interesting selfies (he drew many mustaches on himself) – meanwhile Killua sent delicious pictures of food and desserts, as well as a couple of grumpy Alluka pictures. The back and forth photography show continued until just yesterday, when Gon asked about the Homecoming dance, and Killua never responded.

He read the message but decided not to respond.

Gon could forget that, though. He really could. Killua is here now, and he showed up – and he looks really great. There is nothing to be upset about, not anymore at least.

Sighing deeply, Gon finally loosens his grip around Killua, smiling bashfully when Leorio clears his throat behind them, “You never replied last night – so I worried. You know me.” Gon almost pouts but settles with a small frown instead. Just like his Aunt Mito.

“I was busy – people get busy,” Killua huffs, a light but very visible blush painting his cheeks, “nice mask by the way, you look like the Green Lantern,” he chuckles – his own mask being silver with white feathers surrounding the eyes and cat-like ears. It suited him quite nicely, Gon thought.

“the green who?”

“Forget it, you look nice,” Killua admits quietly, avoiding any eye-contact with the other two teens standing behind them. He could feel their eyes burning through them, a shiver ran down his spine.

“I look fine – you look amazing,” Gon corrected with insistence, “the cat mask surprised me, but it actually fits you a lot, Killua!”

“Yeah – because he acts like a cat,” Leorio added playfully, he laughs at his own joke until Kurapika elbows him.

“You look very handsome, Killua,” Kurapika says honestly, “we’re happy you could make it to the dance, but now I will be taking Leorio hostage for the night – you and Gon should have a lovely night.” The blond gently pulls his boyfriend away from the younger boys, praying he’ll read through his words and agree to leave them alone.

“Uh – yeah, you kids have fun,” Leorio says suggestively, “nothing too crazy, alright?”

Sighing dramatically, Kurapika pulls him away. He is awful at reading the atmosphere.

Gon watches the couple leave with a confused pout. Weren’t they supposed to spend the night together? – as a group. At least that was how he thought they agreed to spend the night. Maybe they want some alone time? The islander isn’t an expert in relationships, so he really has no clue why they left. Before he could question it, he hears Killua clear his throat beside him.

“Guess that leaves the two of us,” the albino boy says, turning to Gon with a small smile, “hope that doesn’t completely ruin your night.”

Oh good heavens, what did Gon do to deserve this.

“Oh – no, no way,” his voice cracks, and he cringes, “I – I hope it doesn’t ruin your night… because you know…” you didn’t want to come with me in the first place.

“Why would it ruin my night?” Killua asks while softly bumping their shoulders, “the music covers your loud voice – so it should be fine,” he teases, sticking his togue out mischievously mocking the islander boy.

Gon pouts at the other, “don’t be mean – admit you like my voice!”

Like was an understatement, but Killua doesn’t budge that easily. “Nah, you talk too much, and you’re embarrassing.”

Gon sighs, taking Killua’s hand in his own, “you make me say embarrassing things,” he admits bashfully, “I’m just honest.”

Suddenly, the mood shifted.

The pop music surrounding them was replaced with a much softer tone.

The lights are turned down, leaving the room darker – dimmer.

Both boys stand side by side in silent reflection, wondering how they could possibly ignore the elephant in the room. The massive – overbearingly obvious – elephant standing right beside them.

Gon, as usual, is the first to react. His honey eyes move to Killua’s scarlet face, and when he smiles then – an honest, shy, smile – Killua can’t look away. He finds it impossible to turn away from the islander. Maybe the atmosphere made it impossible, or maybe his heart (his stupid heart that won’t stop freaking out) made it impossible. Either way, he was frozen in place. Until he felt a warm hand press against his cheek – he flinched, afraid of this feeling growing in his chest. Gon mistook it as anger, and quickly removed the hand.

“No-“ Killua pleads, holding Gon’s hand in place, “you can… leave it there.”

Embarrassment.

He wants to believe this is what he feels.

But he fears it might be more.

Gon doesn’t pull his hand away, relaxing it back in place. He grins softly, “you’re cute when you act shy.”

Killua’s eyes widen at the comment, and he huffs, “don’t be stupid,” he takes Gon’s hand from his cheek and pulls him towards the dance floor, “let’s dance instead of standing here and looking dumb.”

That must be his way of asking someone to dance.

Gon lets himself be pulled along, enjoying the feeling of having Killua’s full attention. It fills him with pride knowing that Killua only ever acts like this around him, and nobody else. Seeing his cheeks brighten and eyes shift nervously – only Gon can cause that reaction. Now he’s being pulled to the dance floor and he can think of nothing more enjoyable to do at this dance. His very first school dance, with Killua at his side. His heart swells.

The music picks up slightly, and both boys stand facing the other.

Thunder’s getting louder and louder

Baby you’re like lightning in a bottle

I can’t let you go now that I got it

And all I need is to be struck by your electric love

“You know,” Gon whispers between them, “I like your mask… but I think you look better without it.” He admits with a slight grin.

Killua takes it as an insult, and frowns, “okay, great timing – kinda rude.” He self-consciously touches his mask, wondering if Alluka was wrong about how well it suited him.

“No that’s not what I –“ Gon tries explaining, then pulls off his own mask before continuing, “you look amazing in anything – especially that mask – but it hides your face, and I honestly prefer to look at that instead.”

Gon moves his hand from Killua’s waist, to his mask, “do you mind if I-?” he doesn’t wait for a response before gently pulling the mask off of Killua’s face to reveal very flushed cheeks and widened cerulean eyes. “Much better.”

“You are so –“ Killua sputters, searching for the right words – for any words – but he’s at a loss, “do you even realize what you say to me?”

Gon simply nods, “yup – and I mean every word of it!”

When he thinks the topic is over, Gon suddenly takes a step forward, moving only an inch closer to Killua – but the inch feels like yards – and now the space between them grows infinitely smaller. Only a breath away, he thinks. He knows this because he can feel Gon’s breath hit his cheek. His surprisingly fresh mint breath that seems infinitely more inviting now. Thinking about his breath forces him to cast a glance to his lips, and that was a big mistake, because now that’s all he can see.

“Killua,”

His eyes move back up to honey eyes, and he finds them staring at his own lips.

“have you ever kissed anybody?”

The questions confuses him for a moment, until he realizes what situation he’s in. Gon wants to know in case they kiss. He wants to be Killua’s first. “No.”

“Me neither,” the islander admits with a bit of relief in his voice, “I really want to kiss you.”

There he goes again – saying unnecessarily embarrassing things. Like it’s nothing.

Killua isn’t sure what crosses his mind then. His family, perhaps – Illumi’s ever dreadful presence always following close behind him. Alluka and her kind encouragement. Whatever it was came and went in a flash, and all Killua can think of now is Gon. His warmth. His gaze. His childish demeanor, and charming smile – everything that pulled Killua in the moment they met. The moment he smiled at him from across the classroom.

Drown me

You make my heart beat like the rain

Surround me

Hold me deep beneath your waves

It was that memory of Gon – a smiling, shy, very nervous Gon – that pushes Killua forward instead of backward, where he should be. He should turn away. He should set Gon straight and never speak with him again. That would be the kind thing to do – the honest and good thing – however, he chooses to ignore that for now. Killua chooses to be selfish, and he moves forward, connecting their lips in a gentle and quick touch.

The spark was undeniable.

As quick and gentle as he was – the rush still tickled down his spine – Gon must’ve felt it too. Instead of pulling away, Gon moves in for his own kiss, this time hungrier and clingier, and two warm calloused hands are holding Killua’s cheeks.

Warmth

Killua can only think of warmth. In his mouth, on his cheeks, and even in his chest. It spreads across his body, and he relaxes in the feeling. For the first time in his life, he relaxes in the feeling of warmth – he accepts it. It felt unlike anything else in his life. Unlike the distorted and obsessive love Illumi suffocates him in. Unlike the manipulative love his parents push on him. Unlike the cold and uncaring love his brothers Milluki and Kalluto give him. Even unlike the kind and generous love Alluka showers him with.

This is different, but good.

When they finally part, Gon stares back at him with wide and awestruck eyes. His lips are still slightly glossy from their kiss, and his cheeks are painted pink. Much similar to how Killua is looking as well.

“That was so much better than I thought.” Gon says dumbly, quickly chuckling after his own comment, “Is that okay to say?”

“Well, you already said it, so no point in asking,” Killua argued, lips still swollen, “but yes – it is okay.”

More than okay

“Do you wanna… do it again?” Gon asks bashfully, and Killua almost smacks him for not giving him a damn break from this situation for even a moment.

“Fine – but don’t make this embarrassing,” he closes his eyes, feeling a small thrill fill him, “just kiss me instead of asking it so awkwardly-“

And Gon does exactly that – he kisses him midsentence – no restraint at all.

“Give me a warning next time, I almost choked!”

“Aw – but you told me to just do it…”

“I said don’t ask awkwardly – you still gotta warn me, weirdo!”

Chapter Text

Mito spends a lot of time meal prepping. She preps breakfast in the early morning, usually hours before Gon even wakes up, and helps him prepare his own lunch. Watching him move around the kitchen in a half rush with such an adorable and focused look always makes her laugh. It reminds her of when he was only half her height – small enough to crawl behind the sofa and hide – he would waddle around the kitchen and try to keep up with her, claiming to be her assistant. Now he hardly needs her at all.

Perhaps reminiscing while chopping vegetables was a bad idea, but she couldn’t help the way her mind wandered. After the homecoming night ended, and Gon returned home, he acted a bit strangely. She tried asking him how it went – tried being enthusiastic about his first school dance ever – but he was quick to brush it off and go directly to bed. That was when alarms were going off in her head, blaring red, urging her to push him for answers. She wouldn’t do it. If something were bothering Gon, he would certainly tell her.

So enthralled by her worries, Mito almost missed the sound of Gon entering the kitchen from behind her. His footsteps were lighter than usual – cautious, she noted. He didn’t run up and hug her from behind, or even mumble a sleepy good morning, like he usually did. Gon simply stepped inside the kitchen, slow and quiet, and stood. Right behind her. She didn’t dare stop her task. Not until he made himself known.

I’m dating a boy.

The words were spoken so quietly and hesitantly, Aunt Mito almost missed them. She paused her chopping, turning away from the vegetables they picked from the garden for breakfast, and to face Gon. He was only an inch taller than her, but still, he made himself appear so much smaller in the way his eyes shied from hers. He was gazing around the kitchen, honey eyes on the counter, or his feet, anywhere but her own eyes.

“Pardon?” She asked sternly, noticing the way his stance stiffened.

“I said- umm…” he was losing his nerve already, “I’m dating a boy.”

It should have been a shock, honestly. Her baby boy, all grown up and dating someone – a boy apparently – and her mind was racing. How many boys does she know? Not many, only a few have been properly introduced to her, and she’s almost certain Gon wouldn’t dare date anyone without her approval of them. They must be a good boy – but who? Kurapika perhaps, but actually, now that she remembers it, Gon mentioned something about him already dating someone. Leorio. So if those two were together, there was only one more boy left.

“Killua?” she questioned with mild curiosity, wondering if perhaps Gon was dating someone she isn’t familiar with, in which case she would very sternly punish him.

She can see Gon’s eyes widen, his mouth open and close, until finally he settles with a simple nod.

That should’ve been the end of it – but it wasn’t – because Gon was still acting strangely. He wasn’t facing her, he wasn’t even speaking for goodness sake and that was seriously concerning. All her baby boy ever does is ramble – and although she expected this to be the same, it wasn’t.

“Are you… ashamed?” His voice knocks her out of any thoughts she might’ve had, and shock her into silence. Ashamed. Gon felt ashamed. She doesn’t have the voice to speak before he finally looks up to her, eyes red and wet, voice broken and small.

“Do you hate me?”

That was far enough.

Mito is silent only for a moment longer. She takes a cloth from the countertop and wipes her hands, hanging the cloth on the oven handle once finished. To think that Gon, her life and love, would ever believe she felt anything but love and adoration for him – to think he feels so afraid to be himself in front of her, it shakes her soul. “Gon Freecss,” she says honestly, her tone gentle, “baby, no – I could never hate you, mijo,” she takes his shoulders and pulls him close into a tight hug.

The Islander boy finally breaks, a soft sob escaping his tight throat, and he clings onto her shirt with sweaty fists. Mito could never hate him. If one day, he walked in and confessed to murder – she still couldn’t bring herself to hate him. Even if he left her one day for his father, she would never hold it against him. Gon Freecss is her baby boy. He is the reason she works so hard everyday to keep that smile on his face.

“Thank you, Aunt Mito,” he cries softly, voice slightly hiccupped, “te quiero tanto, mama.” His Spanish leaks out, which only ever happens when he gets over emotional, and Mito laughs a little.

“I don’t care who you love, or who you decide to be with,” she explains calmly, pulling away from the hug slightly, eyes stern, “boy or girl – they still have to face my wrath,” she says only half joking, “and I hope this doesn’t interfere with your grades, mijo.”

That certainly calmed him down a bit.

“yeah,” he laughed a bit awkwardly, pulling away from the hug, “…do you think Ging hates me?” the words were out before he could regret them, and Mito only stared at him with a calm gaze. Her eyes didn’t harden or darken, still as understanding and loving as always. She placed a soft hand on his left cheek, wiping the tears off his face with so much care, as if he would break any moment now.

“Guapo, ya sabes que a él no le importa nada,” she sighs, a somber smile on her pink lips, “tu familia está en esta casa – y en esta casa, te queremos tanto.”

There was a sad finality in her voice. Like she understands why he asks, but also understands that the true answer will never be known. She understands that Ging left Gon here, in her care, and ran off who knows where – who knows why – without so much as a phone call every few months. The last she heard of him was when Gon was in his first year of middle school, turning 12, and he had the audacity to send a birthday card through the mail. She nearly tore the card to shreds, but felt it would be a betrayal to Gon, and gave it to him with a smile anyway.

He never opened it.

“Sorry,” Gon said suddenly, scratching his cheek a bit, “I made a big deal outta nothing, I know you and Abe love me – I shouldn’t have cried like that.”

“No, cariño, it’s okay to cry with me – don’t ever feel like you have to hold in your emotions with me – I know this wasn’t an easy thing to admit,” she comforts him, quick to push aside his shame, “what I am concerned about now is all those times you and Killua were alone in that room with the door closed-“

“Aunt Mito!” Gon cries out with blazing cheeks. He pouts, embarrassed by her invasive comment. As if he would ever do something inappropriate with his Aunt in the house. Or even alone for that matter.

“Si, si – ya sé mijo,” she laughs, “you know I’m only kidding, right? If you two were doing anything inappropriate I would’ve known – I have a good sense for that stuff.” Nothing ever got past her, it’s as if she has an all-knowing third eye. Gon very rarely got away with anything. He gave up on being sneaky a long time ago. His aunt was too good at sniffing him out.

“So you’re okay with me dating Killua?” he already knows the answer, but he needs his aunt to make it final. Her approval means a lot to him. Although if she did say no, he would likely still find a way to do it in secret. As risky as that might be.

Mito smiled wide, eyes warm crescents, “Yes, of course I am – Killua is a lovely boy, cariño,” her tone was nothing but honest, “I kind of had a feeling this would happen.”

The last statement stood out for Gon, and he sputtered, “what do you mean?”

“I mean you aren’t very subtle, mijo – I’m sure Killua would agree.” She chuckled at his indignant frown, pinching his cheek with way too much force, “oh come on – all you would ever do is gush about how lindo and maravilloso Killua is-“

“No! That’s not true,” at least he hopes it isn’t true, “I talk about all my friends a lot.”

Truthfully, Gon did brag about all his friends a lot – but the way he would ramble on about Killua sometimes, with no point or end, is how Mito knew. His eyes would light up, and his Spanish would leak in – something he does subconsciously when emotional. It was honestly adorable, but she thought nothing of it. He never expressed any interest in dating before, so she hoped it would stay that way.

Things don’t usually go the way she hopes.

“In all seriousness Gon, do his parents know?” she wants to be happy for her baby boy, and she is – her heart is swelling with warmth for him – but her responsibility as his guardian always comes first. As much as she adores Killua and his sister, Alluka, she could also sense something troubling in them. They weren’t bad kids – not by a long shot – but something just felt off. Like they were hiding something. She can still remember the time she asked Killua if she could speak to his parents and get to know them a bit – she has basically no friends here – and the albino boy was so fast to deny her it was shocking. He was quick to excuse himself, apologizing because his parents work a lot and didn’t appreciate him sharing their number.

She didn’t buy it for a moment.

She has a sixth sense for these things, especially when it involved her son.

The way Gon hesitated. His eyes widened only slightly, barely noticeable, and his breath quickened. It was answer enough. But still, she waited for him to respond.

“We only started dating this past week – at the homecoming dance – he probably hasn’t had a chance to tell them yet,” he explains with only a bit of panic in his voice. He’s afraid she won’t accept their relationship now. “and – uh, well – I’m not sure if they know he… likes boys.”

Mito was nobody to demand a young boy to come out to his family. Not when he might feel rejected by them, or in danger in his environment. She would never do that to Killua. She is in no position to demand that of him. He is a smart boy. He cares about Gon, and it’s very clear to her in the way he goes out of his way to spend time with him. As much as she wants to deny Gon their relationship until Killua can tell his parents, she doesn’t have the heart to do it. She’s just too soft.

“I understand,” she turned away to face the vegetables again, “let him know he always has a home here.” She gently picked up the knife and began chopping the bright green peppers. Her eyes stung from the onions she sliced earlier – or from the ache in her chest – but that was all she could say.

Gon wanted to cry again. To hug her from behind and thank her over and over again. This was all he needed to hear now. Her love and approval. She even extended that to Killua. Their home is his home now, too. And Alluka’s home. Anyone Killua loves is welcome here. It isn’t a perfect home by a long shot – he can still sometimes feel Ging’s absence – but that only made it better.

“I will let him know.” She can hear the smile in his words, and chuckles.

“Now go shower, I need you to go out and buy me a few things from the market.”

That was all she needed to say for Gon to rush out the kitchen and into the bathroom. She can hear him stumble around and turn on the shower head, yelling when the water came out freezing cold. She shakes her head, already knowing he didn’t even wait for the water to warm up before jumping in carelessly.

“Silly boy, you better slow down before you end up getting hurt.”

.

.

.

“So it’s official then? – you and Gon are a THING-“

“Alluka can you please not yell about it – it isn’t a big deal, seriously,” it was adorable how nonchalant the albino was acting, but Alluka can see right through his act. His pink cheeks say it all. Her brother was a terrible liar, honestly – but as his sister, she tries not to completely embarrass him.

“You can’t seriously convince me that dating Gon isn’t a big deal,” her homework is spread across the floor, mixed with Killua’s own assignments, “brother do you think I’m that naïve?” It was less of a question, and more of a statement. Her brother treats her so gently – so lovingly – it’s both a blessing and a curse. She understands why he’s so careful around her, but eventually she needs to make her own decisions, there’s a lot her brother can’t teach her.

Killua huffs, brows scrunched up in concentration because as boring as biology homework is, it still frustrates him. Not as much as this conversation does, of course. He finally gives up on the particularly troublesome question (there must be a typo or something – he’s almost certain he has the correct answer) and looks up at his adorably annoying sister. “You really like to push my buttons, don’t you?”

Again, not a question. A statement.

Pushing his buttons is her favorite pastime.

“I just want some juicy details,” her voice gets high pitched, and that’s when Killua knows she’s about to start whining, “when you came back from the dance all you did was scream into your pillow and knock out!”

Embarrassing, Killua tries to block out that memory. He was all giddy with Gon feelings when he got back home that night. All he could do was touch his lips every few minutes to remind himself that everything that night actually happened – arriving home was honestly a blur – his first instinct was to jump into bed, have a mini freak out, text Gon goodnight and knock out. He was pleasantly surprised to see a good morning text the next day, along with an almost too adorable sleepy selfie of Gon with bed head.

“What juicy details are you even talking about? Honestly, you watch too much shoujo anime – real life is not that romantic,” he tries pushing away her questions once more, “we danced and got together, what else do you want?”

He knows deep down that the moment wasn’t that simple. The feelings – the dancing – everything in that moment mixed together. His stomach was bloated with butterflies, and his mind clouded with warmth. All his senses were on overdrive, and the only thing he could think of was Gon. Gon Freecss and his honey eyes. His freckled cheeks, and calloused hands around his alabaster neck. The music that seemed too perfect for the scene. The low lighting that barely shone across Gon’s dimpled smile. Oh kami, it was exactly like a stupid shoujo anime scene.

“You are so lame!” Alluka cried out with a pout, “So you’re saying you two just danced, and boom – now you’re dating? Makes no sense, brother – make it make sense!” she pushes aside her homework, already done with most of it anyway, and jabs her brother on the side of his arm. He frowns, sticking his tongue out at her in retaliation.

“Obviously we spoke to each other – he was embarrassing and shit, you know, and I was also embarrassing,” that was possibly the worst description of any conversation ever, but Killua never said he was a poet, “doesn’t this stuff gross you out? Your brother dating someone – that should make you fake puke or whatever.” It isn’t normal to want to know about your siblings love life – although Killua is certain that if their roles were reversed, he would be just as interested as she is. Maybe even more.

“Why would that gross me out? Gon is so cute, and you guys are both so cute together! It’s like watching a live-action shoujo manga play out in front of me!” Alluka beams, her eyes bright and full of adoration, “You guys are the protagonist couple, meanwhile I am the quirky – yet lovable – side character! I’m basically that one best friend – or in this case, sister – that gives all the good advice!”

“Okay, that’s it, I’m changing my Crunchyroll password – you’re watching too much anime,” he half joked, scooting closer to pinch her cheek, “you are a lovable sister, but you are not an anime side character!”

Alluka laughs, the pinch having no real force to it at all, “but you admit you and Gon are the protagonist couple?”

That is such an embarrassing way of saying things.

Killua did feel like his entire world revolved around Gon when he hung out with him, and Gon mentioned feeling similarly at the dance. It sounds so cliché – so cheesy – he doesn’t want to believe it to be true. To think that all that mushy feely stuff they say in anime is actually accurate, that romance really is that dramatic in real life. The one thing he enjoys about anime is the way it pulls him out of reality for just a little while, but as it turns out, it’s a lot more similar to reality than he could have imagined.

“We aren’t the protagonist couple, stop saying sappy shit like that, and-“

Just then, his phone pings.

Alluka glances at it knowingly, then looks back up at him, “you were saying?”

Killua groans, moving to pick up his phone a little too quickly, and seeing the text notification for Gon (who was no longer under the nickname Tarzan). “It’s Gon.” he admits with defeat.

“Yeah, of course it is.” Alluka replies smugly, standing up to pick up her assignments, “I’ll give you two some alone time, don’t worry.”

“He just sent a text message, why would we need alone time for that?!” Killua cried out, face scarlet with embarrassment, “and you aren’t even done with your homework yet-“

“I can handle it, brother.” She speaks with a confident smile, already being halfway out the door, “you stay and be mushy with your boyfriend!” Alluka can hear Killua sputter nervously, unable to come up with a response in time. Not that she needs one anyway. She wants this happiness to last for as long as possible. She wants her brother to focus on himself for a while, and she can handle herself. She can do anything if it means helping her brother smile a little bit more.

Something tells her that hiding this little secret won’t be simple.

Then again, nothing worth while is simple.