Archive of Our Own ^beta

The forest around Nanette and the members of her clan rustled with little movements - insects that scuttled through the undergrowth, small birds that whisked between the upper branches. Beyond them, the bustle of Gloamheart echoed through the low, twisted branches, low chatter and activity that made the air thrum. Nanette wasn’t really paying attention; the clan meetings were long, boring, and she’d sat through hundreds of them.

This one, however, was different. She ignored most of it, but towards the end - just as she was thinking about where she might be able to go after it was over. Gloamheart was, after all, one of the largest cities in the Wood, and it wasn’t often her clan chose to meet here.

“Nanette,” someone said. She looked up, blinking.

“Oh,” she said, “yes? What is it?”

At least seventeen dragons were looking at her. She shuffled her wings, awkwardly. “What is it?” she repeated, slightly unnerved. Why are they all staring at me…?

“What say you?”

“Er - in regards to what?”

Several dragons exchanged glances. Their clan administrator looked down with a sigh, then back up. “Your position,” he said.

“I’m - er, I’m very sorry, I must have missed what you were talking about; I was lost in thought. Could you repeat it for me?” Her heart rate tripled. Something was awry.

The administrator shook his head. “That brings us to our final point of the meeting,” he repeated. “The administration has found that the clan is in need of some rearranging; your position, Nanette, has been found superfluous. There is no need for someone of your specialty any longer, as your area of expertise falls under the territory of general clan area maintenance.”

Nanette wasn’t sure what that meant. “Er - I mean - what… what are you saying?”

“What I’m saying, Nanette, is that your research is no longer needed in our clan.”

“Oh…” she paused, frowning. “Then, I suppose I’ll have to switch specialties?” That was going to be hard. She’d known there wasn’t too much of a call for research on cloud forest ecosystems, since the Wood wasn’t rich in them, but to have to swap her focus after literal centuries of specialized research… well, it wasn’t going to be easy. She slumped.

“No,” the administrators said softly. He shook his head. “I’m afraid you’ll have to find somewhere else to ply your trade.”

That stopped her in her tracks. “...what?”

“Nanette, I’m afraid the clan can no longer support your resource drain.”

“Wait, but -” Nanette paused, eyes wide. “You’re… kicking me out?”

“We would recommend that you find your way to the Shadowbinder’s service,” the administrator said, flicking his own frills out. “It would be the best place for you now.”

“But I’m no warrior! And you can’t - you can’t just, you can’t just throw me out!”

The administrator shook his head. “I’m afraid we can, Nanette.”

She’d raised her hatchlings in the Tangled Wood, led the majority of her life here! She stood there, agape, wings flopped to the ground. “But…”

“We will happily supply you for the journey and accompany you to Thorndark Altar if you wish.”

Nanette found herself shaking. She backed up a few paces. “What about my -”

“Your materials will be disposed of, or dispersed to the clan,” the administrator said, looking down to his book. “Your time here is noted, and you will be remembered.”

They can’t do this to me! Nanette had been a valuable part of her clan for years and years! She took a few steps back, suddenly afraid. “I can’t believe this,” she said. She’d known that the clan was acting more and more coldly towards her, but she’d assumed it was just because she didn’t know many of them very well - all her older friends had left, gone to serve the Shadowbinder, or died. The newer members cycled in and out, stopping by before heading off to their own service, and the clan had stopped being so much a home as a training camp for warriors who wanted to serve the Dark Mother.

“When you’re ready, return to us,” the administrator said, and ticked something off on the page with an ink-tipped claw. “Now, next up…”

Nanette realized they weren’t even opening this up for discussion. In a matter of a few sentences, they’d kicked her out of the clan. Just like that.

She turned and pushed her way through the crowd; they didn’t even react to her presence. Afraid, she fled the area and vanished into the trees, words and her own heartbeat whirling through her ears. How can they do this to me? After all I’ve done for them, after the years I’ve lived here…

The clan had changed, that much was clear. And she’d not been paying attention. She could probably see this coming if she’d been paying attention. But no, no, no - she missed it all. And now she was paying the price.

She emerged from the off-path area into Gloamheart and fled into the city. A few random dragons spared her passing glances, curious, but she didn’t stop to talk to them; she just fluttered from branch to branch, leaping between twigs and vines, running. She wasn’t sure what she was running towards. She only knew that she wanted to get away from them. I don’t want to serve the Shadowbinder!

Perhaps it was her duty, but she didn’t want to! She didn’t want to go be a holy warrior in the envoy of the goddess of shadow! Nanette had never fought before; she didn’t know how. She was a scientist, not a soldier!

Her heart in her throat, Nanette bolted through the streets of Gloamheart. The city, winding and enigmatic, swallowed her up. Colors flared around, her flashes of bioluminescent neon that dazzled and confused her, whirling around her in a tornado of brilliant light. She was lost in mere minutes.

She wasn’t sure for how long she wandered, delving deeper into the inner workings of Gloamheart. The city closed around her, cathedrals of tree roots and stones, shot through with banners of bright glowing mist and liquid light, light that shone all the more beautiful for the shadow that surrounded her.

She found herself at a doorway, deep gray-black stone with a sheen of purple, an iridescence like that of her own scales - but dancing with the hues of Shadow. A long, deep violet spiral was perched atop the doorway, swirling eyes as vividly purple as the air around them.

They stared down at her. “What are you doing here?” they asked - not irritated, just curious. Nanette could feel, far above, the sky shaping itself into a soft drizzle of rain, the drips pattering down through layers and layers of greenery and stonework to run in rivulets through this neon undercity.

“I don’t know,” Nanette said, breathless and torn to pieces. “I don’t know. I don’t have anywhere else to go.”

“Are you looking for somewhere in particular to be?” the spiral asked, turning their head upside down. There was something about their eyes… Nanette didn’t know if she wanted to keep talking to them.

“I don’t think so,” she said, quietly.

“I can open a doorway to a place you’ll never fear the world again,” the spiral said conversationally, with a smile. “To a place in-between other places.”

“I - no, I don’t… I don’t think I need that,” Nanette said, frowning.

“Have you somewhere to be, then?”

“...no,” she said. “But I - I want to be somewhere. I just… don’t have a home anymore, I suppose.”

“Ah,” the spiral said. “Well, how about I’ll take you somewhere else, then? Somewhere you might be able to find a new home. If you can’t find somewhere to go from there… well, my offer always stands.” Their eyes were a swirl of black and purple, a moving void, and Nanette found herself swaying when she stared into their gaze. She shook herself out of the trance.

“Okay,” she said, because what else was she going to do? She had no idea where she was.

The spiral looked down to the door beneath them. It shifted, shimmered, a violet hue rippling over its surface, and then opened, creaking gently. For a moment, there was a colorless mist that drifted out; but they shook their head, and suddenly the door was made from stone, matching the surroundings. “Go on,” they said, “and remember: I can always take you somewhere else.”

Nanette cautiously moved towards the door and pulled it open - a feat, given that it was made for dragons much larger than her. Inside, she saw a hallway leading even further down into the depths of Gloamheart, and could hear music from within. The spiral nodded to her, soft and encouraging, and she entered.

The tunnel had soft neon lights coating the inside - bioluminescent beetles that scuttled about, creating a miasma of living color, blots swarming through the shadow. Nanette continued downwards and emerged into a wide cavern, support pillars stone and tree root, filled with light and shadow and dragons moving about. Music swam through the air like a physical sensation; despite herself, Nanette found her tail twitching in rhythm with the songs, frills flicking in and out.

Here, she realized, was somewhere you could lose yourself for a little bit. The dragons here weren’t dancing, not exactly; it was just that the music had them, like the night has your eyes when it’s dark out. She closed her eyes and moved into the crowd.

I want to go home, she thought. Not because she disliked this place - but just because she no longer had a home to go to, and she wished she didn’t have to feel that sorrow. I’m lost. I’m lost, and I want a home. I don’t want to go to the Shadowbinder. I don’t want to wander the world. I want to have a home again. I want to be with friends. I want to be with people who care about me.

Her clan had not cared about her in some time. She’d met travelers, talked to strangers, but the real strangers were her own clan. The clan that had been hers.

Nanette found herself moving through the crowd to a corner, drawn as if by some unseen presence. She slipped under the wing of a small guardian who was dancing, past the slow-moving feet of a wildclaw who stepped as if in a trance -

Smack! Nanette felt a sudden jolt as the music changed, pitching up and dropping into a series of strong beats, and bonked straight into a dark form she hadn’t even been able to see in the darkness. It was a dragon in front of her, not that large, with very dark scales - black, like metal, but polished to a shine. Not like metal - like crystal. Or perhaps like both?

She blinked and stumbled back, but felt the dragon sweep a violet wing around her, pulling her forwards again. A pearlcatcher went waltzing past, stepping where Nanette had been. “Careful,” the dragon said, voice low and smooth. “Wouldn’t want you to get hurt.”

“Sorry,” Nanette mumbled, casting her gaze down.

“No need to apologize,” the dragon said. Her voice was quiet, but somehow cut through the noise. Nanette looked up again and blinked, startled; she was staring into the face of a dark-colored mirror, a mirror who appeared to perhaps be mechanical in nature - she couldn’t tell, to be honest. Was she a biological creation, or a synthetic one? Her appearance was ambiguous. But her eyes were what really caught Nanette off guard - they were a brilliant bright green, green as the bamboo of the Plateau in springtime.

“Oh!” Nanette said. “You’re not, you’re not a Shadow dragon -”

“No, indeed I am not,” the mirror said, sounding amused. “Nor are you. Pray tell, what are you doing here?”

Nanette felt herself go limp. “I’m lost,” she said miserably. Even with her natural lack of intonation, she could tell the mirror understood her emotions quite well; perhaps she’d been raised with fae?

“Come with us,” the mirror said, “and we can speak where we aren’t at risk of being run over by a stray imperial.”

Us? Nanette blinked. Through the crowd came another mirror, similar in size, but this one had a smooth, shining red hide, and a staff strapped to her shoulder underneath a scaled cloak. She ducked easily through the throng and trotted up to them, excited. “Well!” she said, “hey, sis, who’s this?”

“In a moment,” the bigger mirror said, with a smile. “Would you care to accompany us?”

Nanette followed the two, silent, wondering what two mirrors from the Plateau were doing in a place like this. They were clearly related - their wings, with the shadows of feathers on them, looked nearly identical - so it could just be a family trip. But something about this darker mirror intrigued her. The mirror’s underbelly was clear, like glass, with red fluid running through it - not blood, exactly. It looked like blood, but it wasn’t quite the right color. What was it…?

The dark mirror led them to the corner alcove Nanette had been moving towards on her own. Has something directed me to you? she thought, baffled. I seem to have been headed towards you all of my own volition… as if it were fated?

The large mirror settled against the wall as they reached it, out of the way. The music was as loud as ever, but Nanette could still hear through it. “We're from the Plateau. My name is Monolith,” the mirror said.

“I’m Lynwse R'aalora-Nairiiake,” the red mirror said. “You can call me Liryn though.”

“Oh,” Nanette said, faintly overwhelmed. “I’m… Nanette, I suppose.”

“You suppose?” Monolith tilted her head to the side, blank eyes staring into Nanette’s. “Do you choose that name, or was it assigned to you?”

“Assigned,” Nanette said. “That’s an odd question.”

“Well, I believe one must always be free to choose the name they wield, just as they choose the weapons,” Monolith intoned. She moved her head and frills subtly as she spoke, with precise motions that looked almost fae-like. She was very easy to read. “Were you deprived of this choice?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Nanette said, almost irritably. “I’m Nanette, and I’m lost.”

“Wow, what happened?” Liryn asked gently. “You seem pretty upset.”

“I am upset! My clan - I’ve been a member of the clan for years upon years. And they just cast me out! They don’t need my specialty, they said. They don’t need me and my research anymore. Not like they ever needed it in the first place, I suppose! They want to send me to the Shadowbinder, after everything I’ve - after everything! After everything…”

“And you don't want to go,” Monolith discerned. “Must you?”

“No, I suppose not.” The spiral’s eyes, from the door, flashed through her mind. “But I - I don’t know what else to do!”

The mirrors exchanged a glance.

“Come with us,” Monolith said, looking back to her. She crossed her front paws over one another; she was extremely bulky and powerful, and her chest and forearms were muscular and formed a small mountain where she lay. “What is your specialty?”

“I research and manage cloud forests,” Nanette said miserably. “Though I suppose there isn’t much call for that kind of knowledge here.”

“Ohhh, hey, we have one of those in the Wide Sky territory!” Liryn said excitedly. “And we don’t have anyone at home who studies them.”

“We do not,” Monolith confirmed. “The area is in dire need of attention. Ondal has been dealing with it for now, but he really isn't trained for that specific biome.”

Nanette stared up, a glimmer of hope rising in her chest. “You… you have dragons in your clan who study biomes?”

“Oh, yeah! Not as many as we could, sure, but there’s always room for more friends at home,” Liryn said, tossing her head to the side. “There’s Reefglider, who spends a lot of time in the coastal zones, on the beaches and at the reef. Then there’s Marei, who actually bothers to mess around with the coast, and of course there’s Riffle and Rapid, who play around in streams and rivers an' stuff. I think Voidwalker has a good sense of the cavernous regions? I dunno though. Aestival deals with the high-altitude island areas, but they’re not cloud forest, more like the islands near the Ascent region… there’s more. I could go on. Do you want me to go on?”

“No, I - it sounds like your home’s biosecurity is well-managed and your ecosystems are probably very healthy,” Nanette said, stunned. A clan that actually managed the land in their territory! “Are you… really offering me a visit?”

“Mono just said you can come with us, which basically means you can come an' stay if you like,” Liryn chirped. “You’re so small! She don't wanna leave you out here on your own. She's really sentimental like that.”

“We offer hospice to those in need,” Monolith said quietly, “and if you so desire, you may stay. We've several visitors with us at the moment, but I think most of them will remain once their original stay is up. Why would you not be able to join as they likely will?”

Nanette felt dizzy. “Oh…”

“If you would prefer not to, you are not obligated,” Monolith said, calm and patient as ever. “There is no pressure put upon you here -”

“No, I - I would love to,” Nanette said. “I’d love to have a home again. And the Plateau…!”

She’d been born in the Windswept Plateau, raised there. She’d gone to the Tangled Wood a long time ago, hoping it would have areas better suited to her research, but its environment was totally different than what she’d been trained in. Now she knew more about the Tangled Wood’s forests than anybody she’d spoken to… but she missed the cloud forests of her motherland. “Do you have cloud forests? In your home?”

“Er - well, yes,” Monolith said, nodding.

“I… I would be honored to at least come to see them.”

“You don't need to be polite. We've offered you a home. You may accept it with less formality if you wish,” Monolith said. Was that humor in her voice?

“Then I accept,” Nanette said, “with less formality. Please let me come with you. I would - I would really like to have a home again.”

“We leave tomorrow,” Monolith said. “You're lucky we waited a day extra in Gloamheart with the others. They wanted to leave, but we bid them stay but a day more.”

“Others…?”

“Our clan-mates.” Monolith flicked her fins back. “You'll see. Come with us. We're staying at a small house in Gloamheart. Tomorrow we'll fly home, and if you want, you'll fly with us.”

-

As Monolith walked Nanette and Liryn out, she glanced up to the spiral overhead. “Thank you for your advice,” she intoned. “You are very wise.”

“It seems you found somewhere to be,” the spiral said - not to Monolith, but to Nanette. The fae pressed her colorful frills back against her head.

“I guess I did,” she said, softly.

The mirrors walked up through the layers of Gloamheart, towards the top. The rain still trickled down between the caverns and buildings, grown from tree roots and trunks and built from stone twisted into magnificent, eerie shapes. Nanette blinked several times when drops landed on her head.

Monolith had bade the fae sit on her shoulders, and now raised a wing to shelter her from the rain. “It isn’t far,” she said. Out here, away from the booming music, her voice was even clearer, rumbling and soothing.

Liryn danced ahead, lagged behind, and darted off into alleyways only to return moments later to trot by their sides again. Monolith continued at a steady pace, eyes ahead. The two could not be more different - yet Nanette could tell they were sisters. Twins, perhaps. Monolith told the fae about the Wide Sky clan and their matriarch and territory as they walked back to their inn.

When they arrived, Nanette stayed with Monolith as she passed by a pearlcatcher at the main desk and up a long ramp that led to a hallway. She entered one of the rooms and was confronted with a tableau of a few dragons, who all looked up as they entered.

“Oh, welcome back,” one of them said - a deep purple wildclaw with brilliant pale green eyes and ghostly white markings all over his body. “What’s this you’ve got with you? A new friend? You didn’t say you’d be bringing friends back!”

“We found her,” Liryn said proudly, trotting in beside Monolith. “She’s going to come home with us!”

“I would ask that the fae speak for herself,” said a pale pearlcatcher clad in orange robes, his face and tail scorched black and orange with living flame, mirrored in his orange eyes. “Madame?”

“Yes, who exactly are you?” A shimmering green skydancer, eyes a deeper color even than his forest-colored feathers, contrasting the bright blue of the stones that poked out amongst his coat, trotted forwards, peering at her. “What do you do?”

She blinked around at the crowd, unsure of what to say. “I’m… a scientist,” she finally managed. “I’m…”

She paused. Monolith’s words echoed through her mind. She knew what she was, but not even who, really. “I’m not so sure about my name anymore, though. Can - can I wait on that?”

“Oh, of course,” said a jovial voice - the guardian, sitting comfortably in a corner in a shape reminiscent of a sunbathing cat, his front paws tucked under his chest. His eyes were wind-green as well, and his body was striped, clean and striking under his white coat. Fireflies danced around him, landing on his nose, and on the coils of a green snake that lay draped over one of his horns. He seemed very peaceful, and friendly. “No need to worry. We all have our names that we choose. Mine is the one that was assigned me, but I like it quite a bit.”

“And what might that be?” Nanette asked, feeling unusually bold - probably due to the guardian’s relaxed air.

“I’m called Treehopper,” he said, with a smile. That startled her - he was massive! And he was named after those energetic little insects? He seemed so calm!

“I’m Raphide,” the skydancer said. “To my left, your right, is Kers, the messenger of the dead. To my right, your left, you will see Aurelai, our clan’s healer. Err… I do believe Mistralmurk is hiding about somewhere, but I don’t quite know where. Regardless, you’ll see him sooner or later.”

“Oh, goodness,” Nanette said. “Well. I’m sure I’ll be happy to meet him when I do see him!”

Raphide cocked his head sideways. “What exactly do you study?” he asked. “I’m a scientist myself, as is Treehopper.”

“Oh! Cloud forests, primarily. I concern myself with their inner workings, and maintaining them. They’re a very fragile ecosystem, you know, very prone to -” she stopped, suddenly embarrassed. “Er… my apologies.”

“Oh, no, don’t,” Raphide said, peering at her with a startling and somewhat unnerving intensity. “I asked. And it was interesting.”

Nanette spent the rest of the evening discussing her research - centuries of knowledge, compiled within her mind - with the scientists. By the time Mistralmurk (a furtive violet spiral, surrounded by floating lanterns and with a tricky, mischievous look in his wind-colored but shadow-filled eyes) returned, she was exhausted.

Nanette did not remember much of the journey - she spent most of it asleep, curled up between Monolith’s shoulders. She vaguely remembered a few of the other dragons teasing Monolith about finally having picked up a stray, but didn’t respond, and didn’t remember what the big, comforting mirror said to them in response either.

All she remembered was thinking about where she was going. It was strange, and frightening, given that she was going to a new place with nothing from her old home to speak of, but it was a home. Not the service of a god she barely understood. But a home, with friends, with people she could understand, or people she could grow to understand.

I don’t think I’ll use the name Nanette anymore, she thought hazily. I don’t know what I’ll be. But I won’t be that anymore. Perhaps something having to do with the forests I love so much. Something that means a lot to me. Visions of the places raced through her mind - the soft, sweet cloud haze, the beautiful ferns and mosses…

Feathermosses are my favorite, the fae thought. Perhaps I’ll call myself after those! It’s much softer than my current one. And it has a real meaning to it. Yes, I think I’ll become someone new, for my new home.

As the sun rose, and Monolith carried her south over the Sea of a Thousand Currents, Feathermoss thought of clouds and rain and trees and ferns and sunlight and haze, and she smiled as she slept.