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Chapter Text

INTRO

It started out as a joke between two friends, a little band that played two songs. Carl and Prof. Burger were both in High School, seniors. Prof. Burger (or as he liked to be called, Burger) had experimented around a bit, and not just in the lab. Carl knew what he was going to be when he finish college, but for now he was only going to anchor at school. They walked to school together every day, chatting the whole time. Carl's crush, Shrekisha, teased them about how they were gay, but that didn't stop Carl from falling head over heals for her. Tall and muscular, Shrekisha was the ideal shemale. But Barry B Benson was the lucky guy, not only was he dating Shrekisha, but Vanessa Bloome too.

HOMEROOM

"Hey Carl!" Burger shouted, waving at Carl from across the room. "Hey Burger!" Carl Shouted back, and took a seat next to him. "I heard that Shrekisha and Barry are going to the carnival tonight, do you want to go too?" Buger asked, not looking like his confident self, but more nervous. "Sure," said Carl, "But you know I'm in it for Shrekisha." Thats what i thought, thought Burger, and he turned away.

CARL'S HOUSE LATER THAT DAY

Burger sat in his car outside of Carl's house. Where was he? Carl should be ready by now, he thought. He beeped the car horn a couple times, as if Carl would hurry faster at the sound of them. Burger checked his texts again, maybe he wasn't home. But when Burger looked up again, he saw Carl, decked out in a tight fitting keyhole sweater vest and an adorable bowtie, leaning through the window of the car door. "Wow Carl, you look great!" said Burger slowly taking in the sight before him. "Thanks!" said Carl cheerfully. "But are you gonna let me into the car?" "Oh yeah," said Burger and unlocked the car to let Carl inside. As Burger pulled out of the driveway, he noticed something on Carl's bowtie. "Hey Carl, you've got something on your bowtie." "I do?" asked Carl. "Yeah it's right there." Burger leaned over to grab the speck of dust, but in the process, he placed his hand on Carl's thigh. "Burger. Your hand is on my thigh." "Oh yeah!" Burger said, removing his hand that had lingered a bit too long. They continued to drive to the carnival, the tension in the car unsubsiding. 

Chapter Text

CARNIVAL

Carl exited the car and lingered, "Burger, thank you for driving me here, but I'm gonna go look for Shrekisha." "It's no problem, I-" Burger hesitated, not knowing whether he should say something. "I just want you to have a good time, maybe even hook up with Shrekisha." He waggled his eyebrows. "But I'm gonna park the car and look around, JUST GO HAVE FUN!" Carl finally left, on a mission to find Shrekisha, and Burger drove the car to an abandoned parking lot. "Looks like you and I are going to have some fun, hand." Burger  unzipped his pants, trying to keep the image of Carl's ass in his mind...

Carl looked  around nervously, trying to locate his large, green crush. Where could she be? But Carl spotted her after that thought, next to her boyfriend in his black and yellow striped sweater. "Hey Shrekisha!" Carl yelled, waving at her, trying to be seen through the mob of people. He made his way through the throng of whiny kids and preppy teens. Shrekisha was almost within arms reach when he tripped right into the black hole that her breasts were! "WAT R U DOINN??" Shrieked Shrekish. Carl was unable to respond as he was trying to desperately free his head from the twin peaks. "Are you trying to make a move on MY girl?" Accused Barry, yanking Carl free from the enormous busoms. "I-I swear I'm not trying an-anything!" Sputtered Carl, smoothing down his custom made keyhole sweater-vest. "Whatever," said Barry. "Babe I'm going to hit up some rides looking for any gals that might want to join us later." He flashed his trademark 'one eyebrow up and one down' smile. As Barry departed and Shrekisha played a teary rendition of Ave Maria solely on the saxophone hidden in between her boobs, a sudden thought came to Carl. He was now alone with Shrekisha, the girl of his dreams!! A plan quickly formed and was put into action. "Hey Shrekisha, do you want to go into the haunted house?"

INFRONT OF THE HAUNTED HOUSE

"Ummmmmm Carlll... i donnt think I want to go in... its spooky!!" The green messiah stood next to Carl, shivering. "Don't worry, it's going to be a ton of fun," reassured Carl, brushing Shrekish's light blond hair out of her hazel eyes. These eyes were so brilliant he felt he could discover galaxies inside them. He couldn't, of course. They are eyes, not space. The line surged forward, and it was time for Carl and Shrekisha to enter the Haunted House. Barely over the threshold, the doors slammed behind them. Shrekisha's grip on Carl's arm tightened. "R u sure we r goin 2 b ok?" She asked hesitantly. "Yes," replied Carl, slowly manuvering through the maze. A man in a mask suddenly jumped out with a chainsaw, revving it loudly. Shrewish a screamed, burying her face in Carl's arms. This must be what heaven is like, thought Carl. Then why didn't it feel like it? They continued walking, twisting and turning through the maze, when Carl was faced with a problem. Instead of being in a remotely scary corridor, they were in a storage closet. "Shrekisha, I think we got lost, he said, nervously looking for a way back. "Does this mean we r all alone?" Asked Shrekisha, finally looking up from Carl's arms. "Well yes, I suppose so," said Carl, his confusion becoming apparent. "Good. ive always wanted 2 do this." Shrekisha pushed Carl down, removing her shirt and straddling his lap. "Do u want 2 do this 2?

Chapter Text

"Yes," responded Carl, eagerly grasping at his own pants, trying to pull them off. "Let me help u," said Shrekisha, her voice dropping a few octaves, the sound that Carl only dreamed of. In one move, the pants came off and she leaned down planting a soft kiss on Carl. "Is this your first time?" She asked, moaning into Carl's neck. "Y-yes," breathed Carl. "Then ill make it a gud 1." She began slowly moving her mouth further down on the excited man, stopping at the nipples. Taking one in her mouth, she teased the area, using the tip of her tounge to flick over it. Carl couldn't help but moan as the pressure increased in his underpants. "O-off, now," he pleaded. "Shh, ur going to have to wait..." murmured the ogre. She lifted the keyhole sweater and accompanying bow tie off of Carl, and removed her bra and panties. She was fully naked, the dim lighting reflecting off of her breasts. "Carl, let's get freaky." She pressed her mouth over Carl's, running her hands down Carl's hairy chest, flicking his nipples as she went by. She removed his underwear, releasing his enormous dick, already dribbling with pre-cum. "I think I can take care of that." She licked the tip of his dick, grazing this slightly with her teeth. Carl moaned in appreciation. She took the whole thing in her mouth and began to bob her head up and down. "Oh god, I-I think I'm going to-" "not yet u aren't," Shrekisha whispered. She withdrew, positioned her entrance right over top of his errect dick and lowered herself onto him. "OH MY GOD SHREKISHA!" Exclaimed Carl, struggling to contain himself. "Shh.. Ur gonna get us caught!" Said Shrekish kissing Carl roughly. "Oh Carl you are thicker than Barry." Carl's dick had never felt the tightness of Shrekisha's pussy wrapped around him. Each movement sent him further into bliss. "Oh FUCK! Shrekisha this feels so good! I think I'm going to-!" He came hard, dick buried in Shrekisha'a ogre vagina. Every part of his body felt alive, tingling from his orgasm. "That's how it's done."

OUTSIDE THE HAUNTED HOUSE

The bright light from the sun hurt Carl's eyes as he emerged. "Hey there you are babe!" Shouted Barry. "I found this chick over by the popcorn stand," gesturing to the tall blond girl chewing bubble gum. "Nice choice," Shrekisha said, stepping closer to them. "It was nice hanging out with you, Carl." And like that, the threesome disappeared into the crowd.

Chapter Text

Carl stood there for a moment, dumbfounded. He had just hooked up with his crush, 450 pounds of hot ogre body with a blamin' slamin' booty, and yet there was a feeling that he could not quite place. Whatever, thought Carl, I can't wait to tell Burger about this!

WHATEVER LOCATION BURGER IS AT GOD I DON'T EVEN CARE JEEZ

Burger wandered around hesitantly, the smell of overpriced confections and stale beer hanging above the fairground. The labyrinth of games and vendors proved difficult to navigate, the only noticeable landmarks were the rides and that one really religious guy handing out free pocket bibles. Purchasing a cotton candy for himself, Burger sat down on a bench, littered with gum and graffiti. Wow that line for the Haunted House is insane, thought Burger, munching mindlessly on the pink treat.
"Hey Burger!! You'll never guess what just happened to me, in that haunted house, where I just exited from, 5 minutes ago!!" Carl exclaimed, twisting through the hubbub to reach Burger.
"Wh-what? Carl what did you do?" Said Burger, hurriedly standing up.
"Well you know Shrekisha?" Questioned Carl, "My totally hetero crush who I get major hetero boners because I am one amazing hetero who is never homo (no homo)?"
"Yeah, I'm familiar with her."
"WELL I JUST TOTALLY BONED HER!"
"What?! Carl what the hell? You-I-wh-why??" Squeaked Burger. The junior anchorman grabbed Burger by the shoulders, gripping him rightly.
"Bro.." he whispered, leaning in, gently tapping his head to Burger's. "We had hot, hot hetero sex in that haunted house, and I fucking loved it."
"Yeah, no, I get that part, I just, a fair, really? That's where you got your v card punched?" Burger said, shrugging off Carl's grip on his shoulders, fighting the urge to lean in just a bit more, to tilt his head to meet Carl's plump, sweet lips.

"Well yeah, it's not my first choice, but I don't think I could have waited until getting fucked on my news desk " mumbled Carl, stepping back pondering his other location choices. "I don't think they would really have let me into the Buckingham Palace to do it on the kings throne so, I guess fairground is the only plausible one."
"Yeah I don't want to talk about this anymore," Burger winced. "Let's just go on some fair rides."

SERVERAL ENJOYABLE HOURS OF FAIR RIDES LATER

"Oh man, it's getting late," Carl said checking the time on his phone.
"Do you want to head back now or do one last ride?" Asked Burger, glancing at the ferris wheel glinting in the moonlight above them.
"Why not?"
Burger and Carl walked over to the giant metal wheel, noticing all the couples in the seats.
"Oh jeez, this is a real smoochfest," muttered Carl, looking away as a couple returning to the bottom of the wheel started making out as if their lives depended on it. Burger glanced over too, and looked back as quickly as Carl did. God, he wished it was him and Carl making out in that carriage, pressing himself up against Carl, moaning into his mouth in hot, breathy kisses. He'd start to work his way to Carl's neck, sucking just hard enough to get Carl's breath to hitch, getting him to tilt his perfectly sculpted face to be illuminated by the moonlight. He'd protest Burger's hands moving down the back of his pants in a squeaky giggle, warning him the fair security might kick them out if they went any further. But it wouldn't matter to Burger, who would then slowly gyrate his hips, friction rubbing against Carl's pants, illiciting a short moan and Carl's nails digging into Burger's hips. Burger would make quick work of Carl's clothes, removing the underwear last to watch Carl's erect pens bob up, ready for the taking. He'd take it in hand and then--
"Hey burger!" Shouted Carl, snapping his fingers in front of Burger. "The guy said we can get on now! Let's go!"
"Wha-?" Sputtered Burger, looking around wildly.
"We can go on the ferris wheel now, it's our turn!"
Repeated Carl, slightly more exasperated. "I swear, half the time you're off in some sort of fantasy world."
They climbed in, sitting beside each other. The ferris wheel clicked along, sending the carriage upward.
"The fair looks so beautiful from up here," Said Burger taking in the spectacle of lights beneath them, the dull sounds of fair games, rides, and people echoing below.
"You know who else is beautiful?" Asked Carl, turning to face Burger.
"Wh-who?" Burger managed to squeak, his heart racing, palms sweaty. He licked his lips, trying to moisten them. Could this be it? Was Carl returning the feelings of affection that Burger had harbored for years?
"Shrekisha."
IN THE PARKING LOT OUTSIDE OF BURGER'S CAR

"You've been quiet, Burger. Are you ok?" Questioned Carl.
"I'm fine or whatever. Just get in the car." Said Burger unlocking the car and climbing into the drivers seat. They drove in silence, radio softly playing in the background. The occasional lampost cast a dancing glow over the car as it sputtered on mutely.
"What did I do?" Asked Carl, fidgiting slightly in his seat.
"I'm not angry or anything, Carl," Burger said in monotone, "I'm fine. Now, which turn to your house?"
"Go to the left," motioned Carl, drumming his fingers on the dash. They drove on, until Carl stopped him at his own house. "This is me," he said, unbuckling his seat belt and pushing open the door.
"Wait, Carl," started Burger.
"Yes, Burger?"
"Goodnight."