Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

A man with short greying hair is lounging on a red weathered sofa, the background suggests that he is in his Livingroom. Though surrounded by crew, he seems unbothered by the opportunity to slip up. His face is wrinkled, and he looks to be in his mid to late sixties. he seems to be attempting to pull off the Skype interview look; a pair of stained sweatpants on his lower-half, and a suit jacket with an un-buttoned button-up on his top. the price tag can be seen, it's a rental.

[Robert "bob Gray] My name is Robert, but you may call me Bob, and I have owned and seen over the Maturin-Maine building for... 12 years and 11 months in a week from now, but, who's counting.

He clearly hasn't heard the term 'smile for the camera'. the screen cuts to a clip of Bob taking a tape measurer to an elderly vending machine, he jumps when it snaps back into place.

[Bob] I like to make sure that everything is in check, I don't want everything to go to hell just because I take my eye off the ball for two seconds-

He's seen giving the stink eye to a small girl with curly black hair sitting on the lobby floor, a bouncy-ball in hand and a pair of light-up sneakers on her small feet. She's bouncing the ball off the wall across from her, Bob's eyes fill with a mix of worry and anger.

[Bob] I've told that one before, 'no playing in the building'. She won't listen. I've even tried the parents, when I knocked for the sixth time, a teenage Hooligan came to the door. When I asked him what took so long, he told me he was ‘busy beating it.’ I'm still not sure what that means.

It cuts back to the red couch in his apartment, he is now holding a full to the brim glass of red wine.

[Bob] There are nine flats in the building, my family says that that’s an unlucky number, but they’re all being rented currently. So, who’s unlucky now.

He raises his glass in a toast, red wine spills out and can be heard hitting the floor. The camera zooms in on the growing stain on the cream carpet

The screen cuts to an establishing shot of a messily painted blue door, the number one screwed to the door is old and slightly crooked. A family of four is seated in a living room, the parents on the couch, and the two children on cushions placed on the floor. The younger is around six, with a bright smile showing off two missing teeth. The older looks like he just left high school, like most in the building, floppy sandy hair that matches his parents. Said parents seem much more nervous to be on camera than the children, smiling just a touch too wide. The furniture is clean cut and white, modern but with little personality. In the background are family pictures. The only noticeable difference is that in the photos, the youngest is shown with two arms, instead of the current one.

[Sharon Denbrough] I’m Sharon Denbrough, this is my husband Zach, and our children Bill and-

[Georgie] Hi! I’m Georgie, and that’s Billy, my brother!

Bill's expression is mixed, fond as well as amused. Sharon looks slightly frustrated that her introduction has been hijacked. Zach just looks tired.

[Sharon] … I work in HR, at a local company, Bill just graduated and Georgie-

[Georgie] I just went into second grade! We’re starting to do Show and Tell! Billy’s gonna-

[Sharon] Yes, we’ve heard all about show and tell, Georgie.

Bill takes his eyes from his mother and to the camera, giving it a strained smile. Zach still looks tired. If not exhausted.

[Zach] I’m between jobs, right now.

[Sharon] Which is just your way of saying unemployed.

Zach just sighs, clearly, this is a tired debate.

[Georgie] Did you see my arm is missing!

It’s obvious now, that Georgie is the conversationalist in the family. Zach and Sharon look more tense than they did a few seconds ago. Bill pulls Georgie into a side hug, both of their faces still visible.

[Bill] And we’re the Denbroughs.

Sharon, Georgie and Bill smile, Zach does not.

The next door shows a number two, the same color as the last. The door, frame and mat all look freshly clean.

Cut to a family of two sitting in a living room. In the background there are door locks are visible, six, none of which are duplicates. The wall behind them is covered in pictures of a boy, varying in age. A cabinet in the kitchen is ajar, orange bottles deck the shelves. The same, short boy is seated on a blue couch, older than in the pictures, wearing a large black jumper, shorts, and a fanny pack, his hair is chestnut and neatly styled, he has a pair of soulful brown eyes. Next to him is a large woman with small reading glasses, frizzy hair collected around her pink face, the boy looks weary of her. Though it’s not clear why.

[Sonia Kaspbrak] My name is Sonia Kaspbrak, you can call me Mrs. Kaspbrak, and this is my son, Eddie, I call him Eddie bear.

It's clear now.

[Eddie] It’s just Eddie. Mom. I’m eighteen, so, a bit old for that now-

[Sonia] Eddie! I can’t believe you-

[Eddie] Mom! I’m just not ok with you calling me that anymore.

[Sonia] Anymore. Anymore meaning just now.

[Eddie] I’m drawing the line when it’ll be on-

[Sonia] Eddie!

The screen cuts to black for a second, then back to the same scene, Sonia and Eddie are sitting farther apart than before.

[Sonia] I work at the grocery store in the strip mall a few blocks away. Eddie graduated a few weeks back, Very proud.

[Eddie] I’ll miss the track team, but, glad to be done.

[Sonia] I won’t miss the track team, Far too dangerous for my boy.

[Eddie] Oh. My. GOD-

The screen cuts again.

[Sonia] Eddie’s father was an awful man, I'm glad that we don’t have to see his face, he was nobody going nowhere, I'm just thankful he didn’t influence Eddie too much. God knows he would have tried. Still a shame about the Cancer, I suppose.

Eddie makes a face. Clearly offended by the obtuse description.

[Eddie] Recovered 6 years back. He’s a lawyer in LA. He's not dead anything

Sonia shakes her head, tutting. Eddie leans on his knees and pinches the bridge of his nose, he makes a deeply unattractive noise, before glancing up.

[Eddie] And we’re the Kaspbraks

The door number is 3, the bottom of the door is scuffed to the point that the blue color is almost completely faded, there’s no door mat.

A fiery haired girl is seated between a balding man and a scruffy Bernese Mountain Dog, she has a floral blouse and blue skinny jeans. her eyes are a light blue and her lips are a bubblegum pink. A coffee table with ring shaped stains scattered over it sits in front of the old leather couch, the girl sits reclined with her legs on the table. The man spares her a glance, before considering it unimportant.

[Beverly Marsh] I’m Beverly marsh, eighteen years old, fresh graduate. And this is my Dad, Alvin, he works at the Quarry about an hour away.

[Alvin] The commute balls.

Beverly covers the dog's ears. Alvin spares a quick glance and small smirk.

[Beverly] Now that I’ve graduated, I've applied for a position in the grocery store, so, we’ll see. It's not like that we need the money or anything, my friends Richie and Stan got internships, so I'd just like to have at least some work experience.

[Alvin] I'm sure a job at the grocery store will be some experience alright.

Beverly looks at the dog and scratches behind its floppy ears. She puts on a high pitch dog voice and smiles sarcastically.

[Beverly] well she’s just out of high school, yes, she is, yes, she is!

[Alvin] alright well...

There's a pause, the only sound Is the dogs panting.

[Beverly] This is Joanie, she’s 4 years old and requires 3 walks a day.

[Alvin] She was Elfrida’s, before she left.

Beverly takes her hand of the dog; she was clearly expecting this to come up.

[Beverly] My mom left last year for a man who owns a chain of coffee, smoothies and food Cafes called Spacedough. He swore it was nothing like a Starbucks, apparently people actually bought that.

[Alvin] He smelt awful, but he had excellent taste in cologne.

[Beverly] … How do you mean?

[Alvin] The brands were always good, but they smelt awful.

[Beverly] How do you remember-

[Alvin] And we’re the Marsh family.

On the door is a rusted four, unlike the other doors, this one is a bright red. On the door mat are the words Beware the cats. The building has a one animal policy.

The girl from earlier is sat on a fuzzy rug in front of the couch, though her black hair is now pulled into a messy bun at the top of her head. She’s wearing a striped shirt with picture of a bird on it. A man with a stubbled face and curly hair is on the couch behind her, wearing jeans and a grey t-shirt with the words ‘every mushroom is edible if you believe in yourself.’ His fly is down. He looks to be in his mid-thirties, the girl in front of him clearly a toddler. Various blankets and pillows are strewn over the grey couch, all brightly colored. In the background can be seen a grey fridge, covered in assorted baby pictures and drawings. The camera zooms in on a picture near the top of a teenage boy, curly hair and deep brown eyes, his smiles wide and shows off a pair of train track braces, the bands colored yellow, red and blue. his glasses are a plain black. He seems to be the teenage Hooligan Bob earlier referred to. The man on the couch speaks.

[Wentworth Tozier] My name is Wentworth Tozier, but please call me Went, my son Richie is out so is just me and my Daughter Bella, but we just call her ‘Bee.’

Bella makes no move to look up at the cameras, even after Went set up a perfect opportunity for her to say hi. Went smiles nervously and nudges her shoulder.

[Went] Come on, you’re not usually shy.

[Bee] Not shy...

[Went] Then what’s up little lady?

[Bee] Mrs. Dender said I’m not supposed to talk to strangers.

[Went] I was once a stranger and you talk to me-

He’s cut off by the front door swinging open. In walks a tall boy from the picture on the fridge, he’s wearing a blue button up and a red paisley tie, classic black slacks, and dress shoes. His hairs disheveled and his glasses ajar. His shirt is half tucked. When he looks up to the cameras, he squints his eyes and cocks his head slightly. Like a confused bird, much like the one on Bella's shirt. This is likely the aforementioned Richie.

[Richie] Did you finally give up and go into porn? Why are there so many cameras?

He rounds the corner and Bella comes into his view, she jumps to hug him, he responds by picking her up and holding her on his hip, all most like second nature.

[Richie] And why isn’t Bella at Kindergarten?

[Went] That’s today?

[Richie] Yeah, I think they’re doing it annually now.

[Went] Oh, that’s funny, Rich. Actually, they’re starting filming today.

Richie makes a noise of acknowledgment as lowers him and Bella to the seat next to their dad, he shifts her to his lap, and she starts to fiddle with his hair.

[Went] Richie is back from his paid internship, for the day, so now it's time to relax.

[Richie] And there’s no cooler way to do that then chilling on the couch with your four-year-old sister and dad.

[Went] I own a bar, that’s at least a little cool.

[Richie] Not the same affect if you call it ‘The Snuggly Duckling,’ and since when has alcohol been cool, nice try. Loser.

[Bee] Loser!

A cat jumps on the couch, as one brushes past his ankles. Bella makes a delighted sound when one slinks onto her lap.

[Went] Getting two cats was Richie’s idea, he’s very persuasive.

[Richie] I figured that, if Bev can have a huge mountain dog, we can have two cats. Like, the mass adds up to a mountain dog. So, we’re taking up the same space... Bob can never know.

Went and Richie look to the camera, Bella is still put off by the idea. So much so, that she jumps off Richie’s lap and retreats to the kitchen. When her hands leave his hair, there are short braids around his face.

[Richie] Welcome to the Toziers.

A rusting five is held tightly to the wood, the door is the same as all but the Toziers. There are faint dents at the bottom. The mat is filthy.

Inside is a man with a white vest and blue jeans, next to him is presumably his son, they have the same dirty blonde hair. Behind them is an open bedroom door, inside is an unmade bed, and a disgustingly messy bedroom floor. Neither of them seems nervous, the younger of the two much more awake than the older.

[Oscar “Butch” Bowers] Uh, I'm Butch, that’s my Kid, Henry. He still lives here even though he’s old enough be outta here.

[Henry] Ok, next time we won’t burn my savings on investing.

[Butch] Yeah, but, Spacedough sounded like a great idea.

[Henry] Next time, we’ll put the money towards a new place, unless some promising idea comes up.

[Butch] for sure.

Butch clearly can’t detect sarcasm, or maybe he just doesn’t want to. He picks up a cup of coffee and takes a drink, he spits out the coffee and sets down the mug.

[Butch] It- was really cold. I don’t even like coffee-

[Henry] Dad’s a cop, just got a promotion, very cool. Going to get a chance to show that off tonight.

There’s an awkward silence, they don’t have anything to say.

[Butch] We’re the Bowers family.

A nine hangs from a screw, it likely was a six. The light blue color is slightly different to the others, but not by much.

Inside is a family of three, A mother a father and a teenage boy, one of the seven graduates. The all hold a remarkable resemblance to each other, neat. The houses furniture is a deep oak, the couch is a clean cream color. There are three pictures sat on a side table next to the door, one of the teenager, one of the parents, and the last of them together, in that order.

[Donald Uris] My name is Donald Uris; Mr. Uris is fine. This is my wife, Andrea. And my son Stanely.

[Stan] Stan, it’s just Stan.

[Donald] For now.

[Stan] … That was menacing, and I'm not sure what your implying.

[Donald] Then it’s working.

Stan blinks confused, Andrea rubs his shoulder knowingly, this only confuses him more.

[Andrea] I work as a Real Estate Agent, and Donald is an Accountant. And Stanely, will grow up to make more money than us.

She thumps him on the shoulder. But he’s still trying to figure out what Donald met.

[Stan] Huh? Oh sure, yeah, why not... Can you repeat the question?

She removes her hand.

[Donald] At least he graduated Valedictorian...

[Stan] Co-Valedictorian, and sure, we can brush over the Internship.

[Andrea] If I start talking about it, I will never stop. So. Proud.

Stan glances to his father, who’s nodding. Stan tries to hide a smile, but physically can’t. It’s kind of heartbreaking how happy he is at the mention of his parents being proud of him.

[Stan] We’re the Uris family

There's a seven on the door, it, unlike the others, is a silver color. The paint looks fresh, though unlike apartment number two, it actually is.

Inside is a muscular boy next to his mother. There are cardboard boxes in the background. The woman is nervous, but so is the boy. There's a bland blanket on the floor near the entrance, by it is a closed bucket of pastel yellow paint, Rollers are rested next to it, they’re free of paint, so they were likely interrupted before they could start.

[Arlene Hanscom] I’m Arlene, this is my boy Ben, and uh, we just moved in. My job promoted me to a position out of state. So, me and Ben decided that a change of scenery would be nice.

[Ben] I’m just glad I don’t have to start a new school again.

[Arlene] Yes, me and Ben move around a lot, I'm extremely focused on my Career, and Ben’s along or the ride. Until he moves out.

[Ben] Which should be soon, mom got me a job... Which is one of the less cool things I've said, but it's not top of the list.

[Arlene] He’ll start tomorrow, and I'll be there to walk him in.

She smiles brightly and leans into Ben, he just smiles. Clearly not too keen on the idea but too kind to say anything.

[Arlene] it was very kind of Mr. Grey to invite us to the Saturday get together.

[Ben] Everyone we’ve met has been very welcoming. The Toziers invited us over for dinner this Monday-

[Arlene] it's the only day this week that works.

[Ben] Said that we could bring anyone we want, which would be helpful if they weren’t the only people we’ve gotten more than a greeting out of.

[Arlene] We’ll see. Might meet someone tonight.

[Ben] We’re the Hanscoms.

The eight on the door is painted a silver color, an attempt to match the Hanscoms, and the door itself is a dark green, chipping around the edges.

There is a teenage boy sitting on the floor in front of a crimson couch, which is taken up by three adults, two are his parents and the other is his Grandad. The apartment is beautifully decorated, in the background is a kitchen covered in cooking ingredients and utensils. There’s an old photo of a diner with the name Hanlons on the front.

[Jessica Hanlon] My name is Jessica Hanlon, this is my husband Will, my dad Leroy, and my son Mike. And we are the proud owners of Hanlons. Open Sunday through Friday.

[Mike] Which is helpful because Bob doesn’t bother us about hosting Saturday get together.

[Leroy] The man tests my patience when he’s not asking me for anything, don’t start me on when he is.

[Will] Let’s be careful, the man has the power to evict us if he so chooses.

[Leroy] And God has the power to strike me down but he’s not going to do it without a good reason.

[Jessica] He‘s got a point there, Honey.

Leroy smirks to himself.

[Mike] Grandad, Mom and I run the place. Dad has a job at the massive college you pass when you drive in. We know where I'm going to school. It's a great place so I'm not bothered. I’m pretty sure most of my friends are going there to, saves us having to move out.

None of them seem bothered by the idea of continuing living together. It's sweet but not very relatable.

[Leroy] We’re the Hanlon family.

The nine is held firmly on the door. It, like the Toziers, is a bright red. In fact, even the mat is the same as the Toziers.

Inside is a young man, the same age as Henry. His hair is a black, raven color, and his eyes are menacing. He is sat on a gray couch, though it looks cheap. It’s definitely someone’s first apartment. His feet are rested on the light oak coffee table, it’s obvious that he’s very tall.

[Patrick Hockstetter] My name is Patrick, I moved in a month ago, so everything is still packed up. I've had stuff to do. You know, looking for a job, meeting the neighbors, meeting Richie- Just classic moving in stuff. Every building has their Richie.

He shifts into a more alert sitting position. There's a small rustling sound from outside.

[Patrick] I think he’s coming home- not that I care, or anything.

He relaxes.

[Patrick] I applied for a position at The Snuggly Duckling, I'm fairly sure Went named it after the bar from Tangled. Which is an interesting choice.

[Patrick] Not much is going on really, looking forward to tonight though. Bob likes to plan a Building get together every Saturday.

It cuts to Bob, he’s ditched the glass and is dinking straight from the bottle, there are more stains on the floor.

[Bob] If I know them, I can defeat them. Only if it comes to that of course. But I expect it will. Going to those get togethers, I feel like a double agent, it’s empowering.

Back to Patrick, his hair is now tied up.

[Patrick] Almost everyone comes, the only person I can think of who doesn’t, is Richie, for the most part at least. Sometimes he does, but he usually says he has personal business to attend to, a boy can only imagine.

He zones out for a second, before he recognizes the cameras and he snaps out of it, an uncomfortable smile on his face.

[Patrick] I’m Patrick Hockstetter.

Bob is fully lying on the couch now, a bottle of water in hand. He's more coherent than he was a minute ago.

[Bob] I specially chose them all. The Denbroughs for their tense atmosphere.

Georgie is seen sitting at the dinner table, a wide smile on his face. Sharon is furiously filling in paperwork, her meal completely ignored. Bill is staring of into space, a small smile on his face. Zach still looks tired.

[Bob] The kaspbraks, for someone to hate; specifically, Mrs. Kaspbrak.

Eddie is seen slamming the door to his apartment, tear tracks on his pink cheeks, and bounding down the hall to knock on a familiar red door. Mrs. Kaspbrak throws her door open, red in the face. Her glasses are rested in her messy, sweaty hair. She can be seen screaming the nickname Eddie had renounced. The door swings open and a pajama-clad Richie yanks Eddie through. Mrs. Kaspbrak yells louder.

[Bob] The Marshes, for their cute dog.

Beverly is shown sitting in a lobby chair, the dog is lying on her back, pink tongue lolling out of her smiling mouth, Beverly is enthusiastically scratching her belly and cooing at her. In the background, Ben is leaning against a counter. The camera zooms in on his curious smile, to be fair, she is ridiculously cute, though Ben will deny who he means if he were to be asked

[Bob] The Toziers, everyone needs a bit of comic relief.

They’re on the couch. Eddie lying between Richie’s legs, his head smushed into his chest with a creeping smile on his face, Richie is recounting his day at the internship, complete with dramatic hand motions. Though one hand never leaves Eddie’s hair, which is rhythmically running through the chestnut locks. Eddie’s tears have dried and his face breaks into a smile at something Richie said. His eyes are growing heavy, and soon he’s snoring into Richie’s shirt. But Richie wouldn’t know because he’s snoring himself. It won’t be the first bad backs they’ve had. If Richie were awake, he would have made a trashy joke.

[Bob] The Bowers family, Butch is a friend of mine.

Bob and Butch are in the lobby chairs, both holding full glasses of wine, both spilling a ridiculous amount. Their smiles match as well.

[Bob] The Urises, someone to empathize with.

Stan is sat in front of a computer screen, typing fast. Andrea walks in, a concerned frown on her face, she tells him that it’s too late too still be working. He resists at first, but she eventually convinces him that is won’t kill him to do tomorrow, so he closes the laptop and the glow on his face disappears. Andrea smiles and leaves, ruffling Stan’s hair on her way out. Not a minute later Donald comes in, a worried frown on his bearded face. He tells him that he should finish it now, so he doesn’t have to worry about I tomorrow. The prosses starts again.

[Bob] The Hanscoms, someone to root for.

Arlene is unlocking her front door, bag of groceries in hand. Went comes jogging up to her, a goofy smile on his face. She sees him and smiles, putting down the shopping bag, she turns to him. They talk for a few minutes, before she nods and smiles. She picks up her bag and retreats into her Flat. Went is struggling to wipe the smile from his face, but he eventually turns to his door and strides in. The camera then focuses on down the hall, where Beverly and Ben are chatting, the smiles never leave their faces, even when Joanie decides that she’s had enough and darts off in the other direction. A chase ensues. But a happy one, if such a thing exists. But thinking about it, it clearly does.

[Bob] The Hanlons, family relationship to envy.

Mike is wearing an apron and a shirt with the word Hanlons on it. He’s smiling and so are the customers, he makes a final note before turning on his heels and heading to the counter, were Jessica is stationed. She takes the note, only to have it for a second, before scanning it and passing it through the window to Leroy, who gets to work immediately. The camera spins to focus on Will, who’s standing in the doorway, but not for long, because Mike is dragging him into seat. He makes no move to put up a fight.

[Bob] Patrick Hockstetter, honestly that guy was fucking weird, I just wanna see what happens.

Richie, Beverly, and Stan are sitting in Hanlon’s, Richie is finishing telling an exaggerated anecdote, while Beverly laughs like a donkey and Stan fights a smile. The camera refocuses on Patrick, a newspaper with holes cut out in hand. His crafting skills have been underestimated. Mike looks on confused, before drawn away by Richie’s energetic voice, calling him over for his ‘expert opinion.’ He’ll let it go, for now.

[Bob] With this crack team, I'll be on every station for miles.

His terminology could use some work.

[Bob] We’re the Flat Mates. We’re never gonna die. Hopefully. If all goes according to plan. I’m not-

FLAT MATES: EPISODE ONE: PILOT

Chapter Text

FLAT MATES: EPISODE TWO: Mama Maggie  

Mike is stood outside Hanlons, a sheepish smile on his. But judging by the time, he’s probably not camera shy.  

[Mike] It’s six am, and todays my turn to open. From six to ten, Hanlons. I’m not sure why we open at six, the only person that actually comes in for the first hour, is surprisingly, Went. He said that Bella's sleep schedule has  Been rough, so he’s up at 5:45. It’s actually nice to see him, one on one. There’re fewer disgusting jokes.  

The screen cuts to Mike rummaging around through the kitchen window, he finds what he’s looking for and sets a black frying pan on the counter. His eyes flick up to look out the window, before doing a double take and refocusing his eyes. 

[Mike] Richie?   

[Richie] Yeah man, what’s up?  

Mike blinks, confused. 

[Mike] I was just wondering-  

[Richie] Why I’m up this early? Mrs. Kaspbrak was banging on my door.  

Mike doesn’t speak immediately, taking a well-deserved pause. 

[Mike] No… How the fuck did you get in here?  

It’s Richie’s turn to pause, staring off into space, thinking. Which doesn’t seem necessary. 

[Richie] I have a key.  

[Mike] Why the fuck would you have a key?  

[Richie] I don’t know man, but I’ve definitely got a key.  

He pulls out a metal key with a homemade keychain, with the word Hanlons on it.  

[Mike] Why the fuck do you have my mom’s key?!  

Richie just grins wider than the Cheshire Cat 

The screen cuts to Richie outside Hanlons, his hands in a black, wool trench coat. 

[Richie] I actually asked her last night when Mike was at B ill ’s. She's a very nice woman and I genuinely respect her, but not enough to put Mike’s mind at ease.  

The camera zooms in on Mike’s concerned face, Richie glances back at him and smirks.  

[Richie] He’s lovely guy, really.  

FLAT MATES  

Richie, Went, and Bella are sitting on their couch, Bella this time in her father's lap, and Richie in a slightly more relaxed position. Went is more presentable than he was the day before, a deep red jumper and jeans free of stains. Bella is wearing a baby blue sun dress. Richie can only be described as sluggish, a pair of grey sweatpants and a threadbare black graphic t-shirt. Went is too preoccupied with braiding Bella’s hair to complain to Richie about his outfit, or lack thereof. He’ll get to it eventually. He clips a butterfly in her hair and looks at the cameras.  

[Went] Today is Friday, and Maggie comes to visit on Fridays. She’s Richie and  Bella ’s mom, so-  

He looks down and smiles at Bella. 

[Went] Todays gonna be great, yeah?  

Bella smiles softly and nods, her ringlet hair bouncing with her movements. 

Richie scoffs, scowling at Went before checking his phone for the time. 

[Richie] She’ll be here in an hour.  

Richie’s voice is uncharacteristically monotone, his eyes missing their usual excitement.  

[Went] Oh! I haven’t got anything in the fridge.  

He picks Bella up off his lap and settles her in the general direction of Richie, who hasn’t given up his sulk at the other end of the couch.  

[Went] I’m gonna run down to the corner store. You two let her in if she’s early.   

Richie just sighs, lifting Bella and placing her in his lap, her eyes are drooping, and she curls into him almost immediately. Went’s too busy buttoning his jacket to notice how tired his daughter is.  

[Went] Be back soon.  

[Richie] Yep.  

Bella's head is slowly lolling back, Richie chuckles down at her before adjusting her to be more comfortable in his arms. The door clicks shut and Richie’s posture finally breaths a sigh of relief. 

[Richie] Incase my well crafted disguise hasn’t failed, I be the first to say that I’m less than excited about Maggie coming over today. Dad made it sound like she makes it every Friday, which is not true. I wish she’d just stop at this point, it’s doing more damage than good, her coming over.   

Bella wriggled slightly, her leg flopping off the couch, Richie scoops it back up into his grasp. She’s a deep sleeper, clearly. 

[Richie] Dad’s struggling to move on, after four years, and  Bella  doesn’t fully understand who Maggie actually is, she doesn’t know what it’s like to have a Mom.  

Richie pauses, mulling over his next words. 

[Richie] In Maggie’s case, she’s not missing out on much. I can remember her being about as present as wine in an AA meeting; She was there sometimes, but she was better of elsewhere.  

Richie brushed her hair from her face.  

[Richie] Meh, it’s fine, I’ll just be her mom.  

The screen cuts to Went running down the hall,  probably to fast to be necessary. Arlene steps out of her apartment and smiles when she sees Went. 

[Arlene] Oh hey-  

[Went] Not now, I have to buy food for my Ex wife!  

He darts past her and she stands there, beyond confused. She opens her mouth like she’s going to say something but she decides not to. She continues her journey down the hall in the opposite direction that Went had gone. 

The screen goes dark for a second before the buzzing of a telephone can be heard, and the screen brightens with the image of a cordless home phone sat on a mahogany side table. A lanky, pale hand picks it up. The hand is attached to Richie’s body. By this point Bella is sat in the background enthusiastically watching a fever dream of a kids show. Yellow dog, pink princess, weird boy with a white hat, and a vampiric floating lady. If the camera had Been recording any longer it would have caught Richie selecting said fever dream show.  

[Richie] Ghostbusters, what do you want?  

It’s an attempt at an impression Annie Potts as The Ghostbusters secretary. But it’s close enough the reference isn’t lost. 

The voice that comes through phone is staticky, but it’s clearly Went, and he sounds like he might have run the entire six blocks. It wouldn’t be out of character if he had. 

[Went] Rich, {Wheeze} they don’t have anything nearly fancy enough for your mom.  

Richie makes a face that’s a mix between shocked and amused. Though it could be at any number of things.  

[Richie] It’s a corner store, how fancy can it be... I'm sorry I  have to  ask- How much have you been running? Cause it sounds like a lot.  

[Went] I’ve not been running at all, I'm incredibly stressed, Child, so I would appreciate the advice.  

[Richie] Well, really, Bee’s the critical thinker in this family, maybe you should talk to her.  

[Went] Now isn’t the time for your stupid jokes-  

[Richie] Harsh, Eddie really likes my jokes.  

[Went] What did I just say  about  the  jokes.  

Richie makes a mildly hurt face, but it doesn’t stick. 

[Richie] I wasn’t kidding, Man, not cool.  

[Went] Look just, what are we going to do.  

Richie sighs and glances back at Bella, who could not be ignoring the conversation more.  

[Richie] You are going to come up here and change your shirt, cause I can smell your sweat from over here-  

There’s a soft ‘fuck’ that comes through the line.  

[Richie] And I am going down to Hanlons to make a reservation. Sound good, dumbass?  

[Went] Yeah... Hey, I'm your dad you can’t talk to me like that-  

[Richie] Oh... no! Bee just swallowed Ferris whole. Fuck! She's going after Egon! I gotta go bye.   

Richie slams the phone onto the receiver, to aggressively to be good for the device. Bella’s attention is finally drawn away from her show, her face scrunched up in confusion. 

[ Bella ] You’re scaring the kitties.  

[Richie] Sorry youngling. Would you be interested in a trip down the hall to our dear Hanlon family.  

[ Bella ] I guess, this was finished anyway.  

[Richie] Perfection, let’s go, right now. Come on.   

[ Bella ] Wait, I gotta change my outfit.  

Bella jumps to her feet and scampers out of the room, Richie squinted but sat down on the couch. 

[Richie] She'll probably be awhile.  

~  

The screen opens with an image of Eddie, rummaging through a kitchen cabinet. He's wearing a similar outfit to the one he was wearing in the first episode; an oversized blue knitted jumper, a black pair of running shorts, and a pair of white socks. Sonia's purse is missing from where it was in the last episode, either she’s for some reason moved it, or she’s at work. Like most adults at 1pm. Wentworth.  

[Eddie] It... is time for... my medication.  

He pauses sporadically to focus on his searching. 

[Eddie] I take it for my mom, she  is very insistent on me doing so every  day at 1pm. I know she’s not here, and I could  just flush the meds and say I took them. But I feel like she would know immediately.  

He draws a bottle out and the clack of it being set down on the countertop. The camera pans down and it can be seen that there is a collection of eight orange bottles. 

[Eddie] She usually comes home for her lunch break, which is around now, so . I don’t know, maybe she’s  dead.  {Awkward laughter} Wouldn’t that suck...  

He necks back all eight pills at once, and makes a pained face as he does so. For a second it looks like he’s going to pull it off before he grabs the glass of water and chugging that down as well. Today is clearly not his day, because he sputters and gags, thumping himself on the chest. His struggle continues as the door can be heard rattling in the background, Eddie is to busy to notice. 

[Eddie] … Fuck, Oh my god.  It would fucking blow if this is how I die.  

Eddie’s coughing fit continues, so he’s still oblivious to his mother entering the house. 

[Sonia]  Eddie-Bear! Who has you saying  those awful words?! Oh my-   

[Eddie] Mom?!  

He splutters around the word. She rushes over to him, dropping her purse on the table next to the door on her way. At this point Eddie’s almost stopped heaving, But Sonia pays this no mind. Pounding his back with her rounded fist. 

[Eddie] Ah, mom, stop! I’m fine!  

Sonia finally lets up, rubbing Eddie on the back in what is meant to be a comforting motion, really, it’s just agitating his already red back.  

[Sonia] And to think I had good news for you.  

Eddie seems shocked at the mere concept of good news. 

[Eddie] What kind of good news? This isn’t like the time you found out that eating eggs improves your reflexes, because I can’t handle another omelette.   

[Sonia] Unfortunately not. At work, a woman came in and she was  just l ovely, we had a chat and she told me that she has a daughter, long story short, you have a date at Hanlons, I've already reserved a table.  

[Eddie] … Mother... why would you do this to me.  

~  

Richie and Bella are standing at Mike’s front door, Richie with a comforting hand on the top of the smaller’s head. Bella is wearing a bright pink jumpsuit with white trainers. She looks comically small standing next to her brother. Richie goes to knock when Eddie comes bounding down the hall, looking adjugated. But this doesn’t deter Richie from greeting him, like he didn’t look capable of destroying a civilization. 

[Richie] Spaghetti Man, you here to rob Mike too?  

[Eddie] You’re not funny Richard! I’m not in the mood for your dumb nicknames.   

[Richie] Yikes! I can assure you that you’re not he only one.  

Richie stalls, looking down at Bella who is very fascinated in his phone. 

[Richie] You wanna talk about it?  Bella  might as well not be here with the amount she’s listening.  

Eddie huffs, camera focusing on his fists unclenching, his eyes are less filled with the rage that only a short person can have. 

[Eddie] Later, maybe.  

[Richie] That’s totally cool, Man.  

Eddie looks like he’s about to say something hen Mike’s door swings open, Leroy on the other side. He takes one look at Richie, before turning around and going to call Mike to take his place. 

[Leroy] I can only take so much of your constant yelling; I'm not dealing with this- Mike! Your losers are here!  

Heavy footsteps make their way over to the entranceway, Mike briefly thanks his granddad before finally focusing his attention on his friends, awkwardly waiting.  

[Mike] Is this good or bad.  

While Richie chimes in with ‘depends on how you look at it;’ Eddie goes with a simple ‘Bad.’ which is abundantly true to their personalities. 

[Mike] Then you should probably come in.  

He steps aside and presents the house with his arm like they haven’t seen it before. Richie smirks and takes Bella’s hand, leading her inside. Eddie scowls like his massive problem is being ignored. 

[ Bella ] Are you cooking something?   

[Mike] My mom is actually, I'm sure she wouldn’t mind a helping hand.  

[Richie] Remember where the kitchen is?  

[ Bella ] Oh  yes  I do!  

She scurries over to where Jessica is peeling potatoes.  

[Mike] Right guys, take a seat. Would I be wrong to assume that your problems have something to do with each other?  

[Richie] For once, yes.   

Eddie drops into Leroy’s recliner, arms crossed over his chest. Richie briefly raises his eyebrows at him, but Eddie shoots him a look that stops any potential comments he could have made. Mike isn’t sure if he should laugh or cry. Laugh, because Eddie putting Richie in his place is always funny. Cry, because apparently both f their problems are his responsibility.  

[Mike] So, who’s going first?   

[Eddie] Me! My mom made a reservation at your place and I need you to make it the most uncomfortable table in the diner. Can you do that?  

[Mike] If it’s a first date why would you want it to suck-  

Richie snorts like it’s obvious, Mike doesn’t spare him a glance, but Eddie does. 

[Eddie] Shut the fuck up dickface, this is serious!  

Richie holds his hands up but refuses to wipe the smile of his face. Mike is clearly used to the bickering. 

[Eddie] You can do that for me, right Mike?  

Eddie may have switched his tactic from yapping rage puppy to cute rage puppy. 

[Mike] Of course Eds, I just- Why do you assume that it’s going to suck?  

Richie snorts again, it’s not clear if it’s cute or off-putting. 

[Eddie] This is my mother we’re talking about here.  

[Mike] But-  

[Eddie] Nope!  

There’s a short cut to Mike now alone in his apartment, seated on the couch and looking into the camera.  

[Mike] If Eddie would allow me to have an opinion, I might think that he wants this to be terrible, perhaps for more than the fact that his mom was the one that set him up. But what do I know? I’m just good ol’ Mike.  

The screen returns to a shot of Richie stifling his laughter and Eddie glaring at him with the force of a thousand Chiwawas. Mike sighs and directs his gaze to Richie. 

[Mike] And what do you want?  

He may have Been a bit too blunt to be considered polite. 

[Richie] Christ, no one has patience for me today. I just wanted to make a reservation for three, and I need it to be the most adequate table in the diner. Can you do that for me, Mikey?  

Eddie elbows him in the ribs. Mike chuckles. 

[Mike] Could you not have just called?  

[Richie] I thought about it, but it felt like calling someone in the other room. And Eddie could have just called as well! Why is today ‘pick Richie up on his bullshit day’ all of a sudden.   

[Eddie] With me around, every day's ‘pick Richie up on his bullshit day.’  

Mike looks like he’s going to say something, maybe that Richie has called people in the other room before, but Bella prances into the room, her hair covered in flower. Richie blanches. 

[Richie] Hey Bee? Just wondering how long Dad was doing your hair for.  

She looks confused for a second, before letting a soft ‘ohhh’ escape her. Richie ‘ohhh’s back at her. 

[Eddie] You should probably take care of that.  

[Richie] I should probably deal with that.  

[Mike] Was great to see you Rich, And the adequate table is yours.  

[Richie] Well, I appreciate it, I’m gonna to go hose down a four-year-old.  

[ Bella ] Good luck with that!  

She runs to the door and swings it open as fast as her small arm with allow, which is not that fast, unsurprisingly. 

~  

Went is pacing the living room while Richie brushed a comb through Bella’s frizzy hair, Bella’s focus doesn’t leave her father’s pacing form, but Richie seems to be deliberately averting his eyes from Went. Like it’s to common to be of any interest, or it’s slightly intimidating and Richie would rather ignore it. Either way, Went is shitting himself. So when someone on the other side of the door bangs on it, he’s immediately next to it. Bella glances back and jumps off the sofa to shuffle over to her father. Richie stays seated.  

[ Went]  … Ok, this is fine...  cool.  

He opens the door a little to wide and in steps a smiling woman with bold blue eyes, dark, straight hair, and shining white teeth, she looks artificial. She’s dressed in what looks like work clothes, black slacks, and a mustard yellow button up, tucked into said slacks. In her hand is a shopping bag. Her smile grows wider and she scoops Bella into a hug before anyone can even greet her. 

[Maggie] Hiya Baby!   

Bella’s automatic response is to giggle and say hi back. By this point, Richie’s off the couch and approaching his father.  

[ Went] Hey, Mags.   

She looks over to him and sets Bella down. 

[Maggie] Hey, Went, how have you been?   

[Went] Great actually-  

[Maggie] Very nice, and Bella, what have you  Been up  to?  

[Bella] A-lots of stuff, I went to the park with Joanie and  Beverley,  I cooked with Mrs. Hanlon, and Richie took me to the new ice cream shop!  

[Maggie] That’s great Darling.   

She turns back to Went, who hasn’t taken his eyes off her. You couldn’t bribe Richie to pay attention her. 

[Maggie] We all Ready to go?   

Went looks slightly taken off guard, but he doesn’t let it show to much. At least it’s not clear enough for Maggie to pick up on. 

[ Went] Uh, yeah  it’s five past so-  

[Maggie] Oh! How could I forget,  

Richie actually perks up. 

[ Maggie]  I got you a bottle of Rosé, before I found out  we were eating out,  I’ll just put it in the kitchen. Wanna show me were it is Baby?    

Bella nods and takes Maggie’s hand in hers. They walk off and Richie let’s himself deflate .   

[Richie] Yeah, it’s good to see you too.   

He says to himself, Went raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t say anything.   

~  

Eddie is seated on what seems to be his bed, baby blue sheets and white pillows. He’s staring down at a pair of clean black jeans and a green knitted sweater. His eyes narrow, currently, he’s dressed in a pair of grey sweatpants and a black graphic t-shirt.  

[Eddie] Mom said, that I need to look presentable , because this is a first date. And part of me agrees, but,  the other part of me that  resents this  thinks that I  could not give a flying fuck what my mom wants... We’ll see.  

~  

Richie is sat by himself in the apartment, picking at his nails while his leg bounces uncomfortable fast. 

[Richie] It’s my fault really, I’m not putting in any effort. Plus, Bee is unbelievably cute, so I can’t blame her for paying attention to her. I would if I was her mother, but, I’m eighteen so I should probably be busy rebelling.   

~  

Maggie and Bella walk hand in hand, Went sticking close behind, bouncing on his heels to see over Maggie’s head. Richie’s trailing behind, hands in his pockets and staring into space. His eyes drift over to a table in the back and his face lights up. 

Sat in a pair of sweats and a shirt, is Eddie, slouching to exaggerated to be normal of anyone, let alone Eddie Kaspbrak. Across from him is a blonde girl, in a pink skirt blouse, hair curled neatly, she’s slightly chubby, but it’s endearing more than anything. Eddie’s hair is dishevelled, like he’s been running hands through it with stress, or, he did it to put of his company. 

Eddie’s eyes meet Richie’s and he gives a small eyebrow raise. Eddie looks back to the girl. 

Richie looks back to his family, only to see that they’re not there anymore, he scans the room briefly, before spotting them and taking a seat at the edge of the table. Went spares a glance. 

[Maggie]  So Went,  how’s your- bar doing? I’ve heard  wonderful  things.  

Went looks excited at finally receiving attention. 

[Went]  Who? Who’s said  wonderful  things?   

[Maggie] My friends Pauline and  Leo. They  were here  la st  Saturday.  

Went makes a confused face.  

[Went] You sure it wasn’t Sunday ?  

[Maggie] Oh! Yea, it was  Sunday.    

A silence follows, only broken by Richie dropping his head onto the wood table in a weak attempt for recognition. Maggie makes a shocked sound.  

[Maggie]  Richard, we are in public!  Be more careful, sweetie.  

Richie makes eye contact with the camera and grins. 

~  

[Eddie] So you said your name was  Murky?  

[Girl] No, Myra Watson. Close but no.  

[Eddie] Yeah, sure.  

They don’t say anything, Eddie drums his fingers idly while Myra, somehow, Straightens her posture.  

[Eddie] Sooo,  are you a natural blonde?  

Eddie’s standing outside the diner addressing the camera.  

[Eddie] Me and Beverley like to rant at each other, and because she’s gorgeous, a lot of people hit on her. And one day, she came over and just went off about this guy who wouldn’t stop asking about her hair  colour . Turns out he was a hairdresser, and Bev was about to get her hair cut, but still. Seems like the kinda thing that’ll put someone off.  

He turns back to look through the window. Myra's nursing her glass of water, staring across the room into space. 

[Eddie] Just  gotta  wait it out.  

~  

[Maggie] So , Richard, still  stuck with those braces, huh?   

[Richie] Oh, you, uh, noticed .   

[Maggie] It’s fairly  obvious on an  eighteen-year-old .  Especially with the ridiculous  colours  you chose.  

Richie isn’t sure what to say. So, he clears his throat, like the smooth bastard he is. 

[ Went] Mags,  did you get  that thing of yours I sent over?  

[Maggie]  Yes, I received my old toothbrush ,  could have done without the note though.  

[Went] Just wanted  to let you know that I care about the safe return of your possessions.   Even three  years later.  

Bella swings her legs and bumps her fork against the table.  

Like the angel he is, Mike strolls up to the table, notepad in hand and pen in the other.   

[Mike]   Hey guys, how are you today?  

[ Richie] I’m feeling  much better  now, you ?  

[Mike] I’m  having a blast  -   

[Maggie] I’ll take  an omelette with bacon and mushrooms, and a   caramel latte.   

Richie squints at her, but glances down at the menu. The camera pans over to Went and gradually zooms in on his resting face, he sighs. 

[ Richie ]  Can I get a  cheeseburger with bacon and a side of onion rings? Please.  

[Mike] Of course, And Went?   

[Went] I’ll get a  cheesecake and a side of fries , and a cup of black coffee .  

At that Richie cracks a smile, trust his father break the ice. Unintentionally or not. 

[Mike] Despite being the weirdest order I’ve had this year, sure thing. And  Bella , do you know what you want?   

[ Bella ] A vanilla ice cream and a glass of Cola, Please?   

[Mike] Of course-  

[Richie] If vanilla ice cream is on the table, I’ll  take some?  

Maggie shakes her head, smiles and all attention shifts to her. She looks up and seems surprised at the eyes on her. 

[Maggie] Well, I just mean,  Richie’s getting heavier as it is, maybe give eating that much a break?   

If everyone at the table weren’t already quite, they would be now. Richie looks down at the table. 

[Richie]  That’s  fair, never mind.   

He laughs uncomfortably and Bella squints at him. 

[Mike] Alright, I’ll  go- I’ll leave you to it.  

~  

[Eddie]  Oh wow you like the beach .  What other terrain do you enjoy.  

[Myra] … Ok, is something wrong? Did I do something?  

Eddie sighs, picking himself up from his slouch, and finally drops the act.   

[Eddie] It’s nothing you did,  it’s  just that my mom set us  up,  so I’m determined to make sure this goes terribly.  

[Myra] You could have just  said something, I mean come on. Just tell me you aren’t  interest.   

[ Eddie] Yeah, I’m really sorry Myra, I didn’t think this through.  

He does look genuinely guilty, which makes the whole situation either better or worse. 

[Myra] It’s fine,  I guess I  understand how tempting it is to mess with your mom.   

[Eddie] You do?  

[Myra]  I mean, my mom is super over b earing.  

[Eddie] You don’t say...  

~  

Richie’s eyes are locked in Eddie’s direction, the camera pans over to Myra and Eddie, laughing loudly. He looks at his hands.  

Mike walks over to his table and places Went and Bella’s orders on the table. He disappears before coming back with Maggie and Richie’s. When it seems like he won’t be coming back he does, with another ice cream in hand. He sets it on the table and slides it over to Richie. 

[Mike] You can take it or leave it, man. On the house.  

Richie smiles, for real, finally. 

~  

Richie’s in his living room now, speaking to the camera. He’s dressed in a pair of black boxers and a flannel shirt. 

[Richie] It went as well as expected. But I didn’t anticipate  Eddie’s date going well, that I did not. But I mean he can date whoever  he wants. She just seems kinda  uptight .    

He picks a mug up off the table and takes a sip. 

[Richie] On the plus side, that ice cream was  extremely good.  

~  

Eddie’s a similar position, just more clothes, and happier. 

[Eddie] I was expecting that to be awful, but Myra's kind of nice, she laughs at my jokes. But , yeah, me and Myra went to the park after- holy shit! I forgot  to talk to Richie, I always let him rant after seeing his mom... I’m sure he’s fine .  

~  

Went is sitting on a bed with a sign above that ‘Bella' in colourful lettering. Went’s braiding her hair while she fiddles with a toy dog. 

[Went] It’s nice to see Maggie,  though I wish she  hadn’t  said that to Richie, but she’s just being considered. In her own way.  

~  

Mike is wiping down a table, suppressing a yawn. He runs a hand through his short hair, and turns to the camera. 

[Mike] Never has  the diner felt so  awkward, it  was putting people off, myself included.