Archive of Our Own ^beta

Some people didn’t believe monsters existed. After all monsters where just figments of the imagination used to keep children in line, hiding under their beds and in their closets.

Those who did believe in monsters didn’t last very long in the cruelty of society, shunned by others and sent to places where they didn’t need to be seen. Places where they were forgotten and treated like children who didn’t know any better.

Then 70 % of the moon vaporized before the world had time to blink. Most of the population didn’t know what happened, those who did were faced with a creature so powerful it could destroy the earth as easily as it breathed.

The world started believing in monsters again.

But monster where not creatures that lurked in the shadows of the night on a blood lust, Or a creature with tentacles that could break the sound barrier.

No real monsters where much worse, acting like a virus that worms it’s way under someone’s skin, slowly destroying its victim from the inside out.

It’s safe to say that Nagisa Shiota had always known the monsters. He had always been the victim. His monsters didn’t live in the shadows, No his monsters waited fo him at the train station everyday after school. It didn’t matter that there were trains every 10 minuets, they deliberately stayed long enough to corner the small bluenett.

The harsh words and cruel gazes became something Nagisa was familiar with, the jabs on his grades and his hair and his small lithe body. He was used to it, but it still stung like tiny needles just barely breaking the skin. He was ashamed of how he let it get to him, he was an assassin, he could end a life in less than a second with out blinking. Yet everyday he stood still and took their abuse with silent lips.

Today was different. Everyday had played out exactly the same for months and yet today was different. There was one vital piece missing from the puzzle that would change everything.

His train car was empty

Many times in the past things had escalated to the point where Nagisa had wondered briefly how to hide the bruises from his friends, but there had always been some other civilian in the car whose gaze prevented his monster from attacking.

With out witnesses Nagisa had lost his shield.

Not a moment after Nagisa stepped onto the train a curt, crude laugh broke out behind him before a figure pressed up close to Nagisa’s back, humming slightly “Nagisa Shiota. What a wonderful surprise, I didn’t think they let girls out this late”

Oki Katsuo. Nobody special, he was just a kid from C- Class. Until he became Nagisa’s tormenter at the beginning of the year. Somethings there where others with him, Nagisa never bothered to learn their names. Most of the time it was just him and Oki.

Nagisa’s silence seemed to aggravate Oki, his muscles tensed and, if possible, drew even closer to Nagisa, lips mere inches from Nagisa’s ear. “What’s the matter Nagisa? Nothing to say? No comeback? No smart remark?”

The train lurched slightly under their feet, giving Nagisa a small distraction to place distance between him and his company, turning swiftly on his heel brought Oki in his vision.

Oki Katsuo, nothing special. Short cropped dirt colored hair that parted around his emerald eyes. He was taller than Nagisa and significantly more built, he wore the standard school uniform, a blue backpack sling over one shoulder. Nagisa let his attention drift back to Oki’s eyes, he looked agitated and calm at the same time. Not a good combination for Nagisa.

The train ride was only five minuets long, all he had to do was survive five minutes alone with Oki Katsuo. Difficult but possible if he played his cards right.

“Come on Nagisa, it’s just us”

Nagisa flinched slightly as a hand settled on his shoulder. He had to say something, staying silent would make it seem like he was ignoring Oki all together, Nagisa had a feeling Oki wouldn’t like to be ignored. Nagisa hesitated a moment longer, deciding what to say that showed he was listening but he wasn’t afraid “I have nothing to say”

That was not the right thing to say. Surviving just became impossible. Oki tensed immediately and before Nagisa had a chance to react one of his wrists was caught in a bruising grip. Pain flared as Nagisa was thrown to the wall and pinned down by Oki’s weight, his wrist still crushed in Oki’s hand above his head. Panic spiked at the base of Nagisa’s spine as he realized he had no escape route, he was trapped with little room to move or defend himself.

“I’m getting really sick of your back talk Nagisa. I used to think maybe you weren’t a total idiot but here you are, pissing me off when there’s no one to save your sorry ass” His words held venom as he spit them into Nagisa’s face, threat clear.

His emerald gaze became murderous. Nagisa had faced off against professional assassins more times than he can count, and yet Nagisa found himself shaking in fear trapped by the figure towering over him.

Oki was right there was no one here to save him, and he was essentially paralyzed under the force of Oki’s eight and the fact that his wrist was still captured in Oki’s grasp. If Nagisa wasn’t careful this could become a massacre.

“You were always so god damn defiant. It always pissed me off. “ Nagisa shivered under his gaze, twisting his wrist frantically hoping to break free of his grip. His struggles stilled when Oki other hand pressed harshly against his waist, pressing his back flat to the wall panel. If Nagisa wasn’t trapped before he certainly was now. “Always so god damn defiant Nagisa, and so god damn pretty”

Nagisa froze. Pretty?

Nagisa didn’t have time to think, the second his words stopped Oki leaned forward and crashed his lips against Nagisa’s with enough force to smack the back of Nagisa’s head into the wall behind him.

Nagisa panicked and thrashed, desperately trying to break away from Oki but the hands on his wrist and hips tightened making Nagisa wince as the bruises throbbed under Oki’s fingers.

He couldn’t move.

He couldn’t get away.

No!

Stop!

“GET OFF” Nagisa’s vision went went white. When he could see again he wasn’t trapped to the wall anymore. Oki was standing a few feet away holding a hand to his face, small trails of crimson trickled from between his fingers. Nagisa had reacted on instinct and broke his nose.

Horrified, Nagisa pulled his own fingers to his lips, feeling sick. That had been his first kiss.

“ You actually just hit me?! You little bitch!” Oki advanced on Nagisa and he just barely had time to raise his hands slightly before Oki’s hand closed around his neck.

Nagisa’s squawked at the sudden in inability to breathe as he was lifted off the ground. Nagisa clawed viciously at Oki’s hand in hopes of getting him to let go. Black spots danced in Nagisa’s vision and his head spins threateningly. His struggles become more and more strenuous, moving becomes a challenge as his body is deprived of oxygen. His focus becoming fuzzy.

He can’t breathe.

He can’t breathe.

It hurts.

It hurts.

He’s going to die

All at once the pressure is released and Nagisa gasps desperately for air, his knees collapsing under him as he sinks to the floor coughing and sputtering around the sharp pain that spiked with every breath.

The relief doesn’t last long. “ You little bitch!” Nagisa yelps as a boot is driven into his rib cage. Nagisa curls into himself trying to protect his head as best he could, knowing a head injury could be catastrophic. The blows continue one after another, each one just as powerful as the one before, each one just as painful as the one before. At one point Nagisa felt something in his chest give away with a sickening crack.

Then it stops. Nagisa can slightly hear the train intercom announcing the train had arrived over his own raged breathing.

“Damn it!” Oki mutters, his hand curling in Nagisa’s hair, yanking harshly so Nagisa was forced to look him in eyes “ Your just lucky your face is to pretty to damage. I trust you’ll remember this.” He roughly released Nagisa’s hair before walking off the train waving idly over his shoulder.

Nagisa was left alone on the floor of the train car in complete silence. A single tear slipped down his cheek as he muttered a breathy “ow”.

Then more tears followed.

Nagisa stayed on that floor, crying for a long while, simply feeling the pain of the previous 5 minuets, the shame that came with that kiss.

After almost 10 minutes of crying, Nagisa was drawn out of his misery by his phone buzzing in his bag. Painfully he crawled to the bag and started searching the contents to find his phone. When he found it the screen was lit up with texts from Sakura.

Nagisa groaned, he was planning on meeting her to study after school. He was really late, she must be worried. After sending a quick text saying he was on his way. Nagisa stood up, ignoring the unnatural shifting in his chest, and looked at his reflection in the window of the door.

Nagisa winced at his appearance, his eyes were red and puffy from crying, his hair was sticking up all over the place and his lip was bleeding slightly, Oki must have bit him when Nagisa shoved him off. Nagisa’s stomach rolled and he felt himself start to shake slightly as he remember the feeling of Oki’s lips on his. He wiped frantically at his mouth to get rid of the feeling but nothing would ever get that feeling to go away.

Nagisa let his gaze travel from his lips to his abused neck, already purple bloomed across the skin, darker where his fingers had been, red around the edges.

Sighing Nagisa realized he couldn’t show up at the preschool with this showing. He would scare the kids. He would worry Sakura.

Inhaling sharply Nagisa tugged the two elastics from his hair letting it fall around his shoulders, effectively covering the bruises from sight. Just seeing his hair down made Nagisa want to cry all over again, but the buzz from his phone reminded him he had somewhere to be.

Nagisa left the train, hair down, eyes trained on the ground.

He didn’t even bother wiping the tear tracks from his cheeks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Karma hated kids. It’s common knowledge to most people. They where loud and smelly. They didn’t listen and thought everything was a game. Karma hated children because with children Karma wasn’t in charge.

Most days Karma would avoid children at all costs. If it was impossible to avoid the little demons, Karma would simply make himself as intimidating as possible in hopes that the kids would be to afraid to approach him.

So when a little girl with pink hair showed up on his door step, Karma was less than thrilled.

Karma swung the front door open before leaning on the door Fran waiting for the girl to speak. She was small with thin limbs and shoe cut rosy hair. Her big eyes stared up at him with determination framed by the small blush that crept up her cheeks.

Karma blinked down at her before speaking softly “Can I help you?”

The girl fiddled with her hands “Are you Karma?”

“Who’s asking?” Karma tensed becoming overly aware of the space behind the girl, ready for an attack.

The girl rocked on her feet, obviously uncomfortable. “ My make is Sakura. I study with Nagisa after school sometimes. He’s mentioned your name before. I thought maybe you guys were friends” she looked at him unsure waiting for him to confirm her suspicions.

Karma bristled “Look Nagisa’s a good guy, but I’m not like him. I won’t help you study if that’s what your here for. So if you don’t mind” Karma moved back and started to close the door in her face. So what if it was rude? She’s a kid.

“Wait!” Sakura rushed forward slipping inside the house before Karma could shut the door

“What are you doing?!“ Karma yelled, this child was trying his patience and now she was inside his house “Get out of my house!”

Sakura backed up a little bit, putting distance between herself and the door “Wait! You have to listen to me! Please! I need to talk to you about Nagisa!”

Karma stilled, he took a moment to observe the small figure in from of him. She was fidgeting and seemed nervous but the more he looked at her he realized she wasn’t nervous because she was uncomfortable, she was nervous that he wouldn’t listen to her. She was scared of something.

Karma sighed “You have 2 minuets before I pick you up and throw you out the door. Go.”

“I’m worried about Nagisa. He wasn’t acting normal today. He showed up late” she spoke the last part as if it explained everything.

Karma scowled “So he was running a little late. That’s no reason to show up at my house”

Sakura clenched her fists “ He seemed really unfocused. He was really pale and shaky”

Karma held up his hand to silence her “ Listen kid, Nagisa was probably just tired and stressed about school.” Karma spoke softly yet firmly as he placed a hand on her shoulder and guided her back to the door

“No! Karma, I really think that’s somethings wrong. I’m worried about him!”

At this point Karma had lost his patience, Nagisa was a big boy, he can handle himself. Karma opened the door and lightly shoved Sakura back onto the porch “Thank you for bringing this to my attention, and for basically breaking and entering into my house. Goodbye”

“I thought you were his friend, don’t you want to help him”

“Goodbye!” Karma let his annoyance leak into his tone hoping to scare the girl into giving up.

“Wait! Karma! Nagisa-“

Karma really didn’t like kids, this one In particular. Karma always had a short fuse and he was really damn close to exploding . “ I don’t care! Leave me alone!” Karma slammed the door.

“Nagisa had his hair down!” The shout from the other side of the door made Karma’s heart stop.

Karma threw the door back open with such force it made Sakura jump. “What did you say?”

Sakura glared hard at him “Nagisa’s hair was down.”

Karma felt his heart sink in dread “your sure?” Karma asked a little panicked, more so when Sakura nodded. Digging his fingers into his jacket pocket, pulling out his phone and dialing Nagisa’s number from memory, growling slightly when it went to voicemail. “Shit! He’s not picking up.”

“What do we do?” Sakura asked

Karma ran a hand over his face before Turing back to Sakura “Do you know how to get home by your self?”

“Yeah of course” Sakura said slightly confused. “What are you going to do?”

“I’m going over to Nagisa’s. If his hair was down than your right and somethings wrong” Karma dug into his pockets once more and pulled out his moped before shutting the door behind him.

Karma climbed onto his bike and turned on the engine, grabbing his helmet he turned back to the kid. “Hey, Sakura, Thank you.” Then he was speeding down the road toward Nagisa’s house.

The trip to the Shiota residence was one karma had traveled many times, them being childhood friends and all.

Most kids had their parents drop them off at a friends house,but Karma’s parents were always less then present, witch resulted in Karma riding his bike to most places.

He knew these roads like the back of his hands. He knew the sort cuts and the long scenic trails. He definitely knew his way to Nagisa’s house, even in the dark. It only took Karma about 10 minuets to be standing outside Nagisa’s door.

Normally he would knock and exchange pleasantries with Nagisa’s mother while he waited for the bluenette to invite him to his room. Tonight was different, Nagisa’s mother was away on business, had been for the last two weeks, so Karma didn’t bother knocking and just walked in.

“Hey Karma”

Karma turned toward the soft voice, Nagisa’s outline could be seen coming down the dark stairs. Karma sighed slightly seeing that his hair was indeed down and falling around his shoulders in light blue waves. Karma still held a little hope that the little brat was pulling his leg, apparently she was telling the truth. From this angle Karma couldn’t see any details but he fact that his hair was down was enough for Karma to know something was wrong. “What are you doing here?”

The red head slipped off his shoes and shrugged “ I was bored. Figured with your mom gone you might want some company”

Nagisa tensed slightly. He stayed quiet for a moment, he was thinking and Karma hoped he wouldn’t send karma away. He was relieved when Nagisa lost the tension in his shoulders and smiled slightly “ Sure. Wanna hang out upstairs?”

Karma retuned the smile and followed Nagisa up the stairs. Karma would never say this out loud, but he really didn’t like most of Nagisa’s house. Everything was so put together and clean, nothing was even slightly out of place. It didn’t help that everything was white either, it reminded him of a museum. Nothing seemed real.

The only part of the house that Karma felt completely comfortable in was Nagisa’s room. The room itself was an utter disaster, his bed was unkept with multiple blankets strewn about. The small desk in the corner was covered in stray papers and textbooks. The floor was mostly clean minus the small pile of sketches in the corner along with a couple notebooks. The walls were a light blue that matched Nagisa’s hair, they were covered with some of the drawings Nagisa was more proud of. That’s what Karma likes about Nagisa’s room.

It looked lived in.

Nagisa flipped on the light and stalked to the bed before picking up two notebooks and two charcoal pencils. He handed a notepad and pencil to Karma and sat on the bed. Karma was never one to draw on his own time but this had become a tradition between the two of them, whenever they hangout without having a plan ahead of time they usually sit and draw and talk.

No matter how awful Karma was at sketching, being with Nagisa always made him want to try and create something instead of destroying. So he drew whatever he could manage and proudly showed Nagisa before he had to go home.

This was their happy place, just the two of them in Nagisa’s mess of a room with pencils and a pad of paper.

Karma pulled himself from his musings long enough to get a look at Nagisa now that they were in better light. The first thing Karma noticed was how tired Nagisa looked with his messy hair falling in his face. The second thing Karma noticed was how every once in a while the shorter male would swipe the back of his hand across his lips as if he was trying to wipe away something. The last thing Karma took note of was the way Nagisa’s posture was all out of wack, and he kept shifting as if he couldn’t get comfortable.

They sat in silence for a while, the only sound being the scratch of pencils on paper and their breathing.

Eventuality Karma decided it was time to stop procrastinating. “You wanna tell me what’s wrong?” Karma hummed.

Nagisa’s pencil stopped moving “What?”

“Somethings bothering you, what’s wrong?” Karma glanced back down at his drawing of a champ fire under the stars, the lines were stiff and his shading was too dark, before he moved the pad off his lap and shifted so that he was fully facing Nagisa.

Nagisa scrunched his brow together before continuing to drag his pencil across the paper, his knees blocking the image from Karma’s sight. He still refused to look karma in the eye as he spoke. “ Why do you think somethings wrong?”

Karma frowned “I know when somethings wrong with my best friend, Nagisa” No matter how grateful he was to Sakura for telling him, he was not going to tell Nagisa that a little girl showed up at his house and all but forced him to go see his best friend.

“Nothings wrong, Karma” His voice if flat and finite. Karma felt his frustration spike slightly. All he wanted to do was help Nagisa because god damn it he’s concerned for his friend.

This had gone off long enough. “Hey, Nagisa, why is your hair down?”

Without missing a beat Nagisa muttered “My elastic broke on the way home”

Karma scowled “Both of them?”

Nagisa looked up for the first time since they entered the room, his sketching pausing slightly as he glared at Karma “Yes Karma, both of my elastics broke. Let it go.”

Nagisa pulled his knees closer to his chest, Karma didn’t miss the wince that escaped Nagisa when he moved. He continued to shift his pencil for a while, using the very tip of his index finger to blend his shading to perfection. At one point Nagisa’s sleeve got caught on the bottom of the page, about an inch below his thumb a nasty purplish- Green color spread across Nagisa’s skin before disappearing back under the folds of his sleeve.

Karma had a hand on his elbow in less than a second, pulling the limb closer before using his other hand to move the fabric out of the way, following the edge of the mark with his fingers. Karma’s rage spiked when he realized the bruise went all the way around Nagisa’s wrist.

“Hey! Karma! What are you doing?” Nagisa tried to pull away but the hand on his elbow prevented him from getting to far.

Karma paused for a moment glaring at the bruise on his friends arm. When he looked back up at Nagisa, he looked absolutely terrified, his azure eyes were blown wide and his breathing had become irregular. Karma felt Nagisa’s start to shake in his grasp. Karma felt himself inhale when he saw that the blue locks had shifted slightly when he had grabbed Nagisa’s arm. What he saw made him cringe, but he couldn’t be sure he was right.

Karma tossed Nagisa’s sketch pad across the room before reaching forward with one hand, the other still holding Nagisa in place, to move the remaining stands away.

Nagisa caught his hand halfway, a pleading look in his eyes, his grip was loose just barely brushing against Karma’s skin. “Karma please, let it go”

“Sorry Nagisa, not this time” Nagisa’s hand fell away, his eyes dropping to his lap.

What he saw made Karma want to be sick and punch someone at the same time, the discoloration on Nagisa’s wrist was nothing compared to the black that covered Nagisa’s neck.

It was a hand print.

“Who did this?” Nagisa flinched slightly when Karma lightly touched the abused skin “What the hell happened Nagisa?”

Instead of answering Nagisa just leaned forward until his forehead landed on Karma’s shoulder. Shocked Karma slowly slid one arm around his back and forced his voice to become softer “Nagisa, what happened?”

“I couldn’t do anything. After everything we’ve gone through, all the horrible things we’ve faced, and I couldn’t stop him” silent tears slid down Nagisa’s cheeks, his hands clenched tightly into fists in his lap.

“Who?”

“Oki Katsuo”

Karma slid the hand that held Nagisa’s elbow down to his fingers and interlaced them squeezing slightly. “Are you hurt anywhere else?”

“He got a couple good kicks in, it’s ugly but nothing’s broken. I’ll be fine in a couple of days.” Nagisa closed his eyes, resting against Karma.

“Will you tell me what happened?” Karma lightly traced patterns into the back of Nagisa’s hand while he told his story, he told Karma how the train had been empty and that Oki had trapped him against the wall and held his wrist down. Nagisa told him that he had punched Oki away and that was when he had grabbed his neck and thrown him to the ground where he proceeded to beat Nagisa into the ground. Nagisa told him that after the train stopped he put his hair down to cover his neck so no one would notice.

By the time Nagisa stopped talking, Karma was fighting to not punch a wall. Oki would pay dearly for causing Nagisa pain, karma would make sure of it and he had all of E-class to back him up if he needed it.

“Karma” Nagisa’s voice had grown quiet and small, Karma’s anger vanished in an instant, he sounded absolutely devastated like his next words would shatter him.

Instinctively Karma tightened his hold on Nagisa, as if he could shield him from his next words using his own body, at the same time he wanted to know what was hurting his friend more than anything so he could kill it with his blade. “What’s wrong?”

“He kissed me” It was nothing more than a whisper “ He stoke my first kiss” More tears spilled over, a soft sob escaping the tiny form in Karma’s arms. “I couldn’t stop him. I couldn’t do anything. I-I- Couldn’t-“

Nagisa cried, long and hard, all while Karma held him close, his own tears leaking through. Tears for his friend’s suffering, and tears that Nagisa’s first kiss hadn’t come from him.

They stayed like that for a long time before Nagisa pulled away and wiped furiously at his eyes, smiling sheepishly. “Im sorry I cried on you”

Karma huffed “Never apologize for that, if I really had a problem with that I wouldn’t be here right now. You should have called me.”

Nagisa smiled slightly holding his hand out for Karma to take, intertwining their fingers again. “I know. Thank you for coming to check on me. I’m really luck to have someone like you”

Karma rubbed Nagisa’s hand slowly “I’m sorry I let this happen. I can’t change what happened, but if your ok with it, I would like to give you a proper first kiss. I understand if you don’t want-“

Karma never finished his sentence, Nagisa’s lips stealing the words out of his mouth before he had time to react. The kiss was slow and gentle, Karma’s hands on either side of Nagisa’s head while Nagisa’s hands were pressed flat against Karma’s chest. It was absolutely perfect.

When they pulled apart, neither said anything. They gathered their art supplies, settled back together. They continued to draw until till they fell asleep, wrapped in each others arms.

The next day, when Nagisa Shiota stepped on the train after school, Karma Akabane had an arm draped across his shoulders, and a murderous smirk on his face as he stared down Oki Katsuo.

They were assassins, justice would be served.

Target locked on.