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“Okay, great. Yes. Thank you so much, see you next week.” Louis watched from the couch as his boyfriend walked back into the living room, a massive smile on his perfectly plush lips. He was placing his phone back into the pocket of his grey sweats while his other hand rested on his hip. Harry looked up at Louis, meeting the ocean blue of his partners’ eyes as they looked at him expectantly. “Everything is all set for next week. The statement has been emailed to PR for one final look over, but it should be good to go.”
Louis returned the grin, standing from the couch to walk over to his boyfriend, wrapping his arms around his waist and placing his head on his chest. “I’m so proud of you, H. I can’t believe after all this time—10 fucking years—you finally get to come out. It’s like everything we’ve ever waited on.”
“I can’t believe it either, Lou. I mean—God, this feels like a dream.” Harry ran his hands soothingly through Louis’ hair, breathing in his favourite scent. “I’m just,” he shuttered, breath shaking, “I’m just so afraid that I’m going to wake up tomorrow and none of this will have been real. All this planning, all this getting ready—none of it actually happened.”
“But it did, sun. This is real. You’re really going to be free.”
Harry nodded, nuzzling further into Louis’ messy fringe, before pulling away and guiding them to the couch. Clifford was quick to snuggle into Harry’s lap, falling onto his back so Harry could rub his belly. Louis watched as Bruce joined the mixed, offering Louis a lazy look before plopping down at the foot of the sectional.
The announcer from the latest Man U v. Liverpool game was giving a recap, capturing Louis’ attention, but he didn’t notice how quiet Harry had gone, or that he was looking at Louis inquisitively. The Doncaster man quickly glanced to his boyfriend, a smirk coming onto his face when he noticed the intense staring of his lover.
“See something you like, Styles?”
Harry shrugged, “Maybe.” More silence followed, once again filled by the commentator on the screen. “You know, it’s not too late to change that statement, Lou. You could—uh.” Harry coughed. “You could always come out with me too like we always planned.”
Louis tensed at the words, the sound from the television now becoming obsolete as the words played over and over in his head.
You could always come out with me too.
It was almost like reflex the way Louis shook his head. “I can’t, Haz. It’s not that simple. You know I can’t just come out. I’ve got a contract to follow that I can’t break.”
Louis wasn’t looking at Harry, but he knew his shoulders sagged as he let out a heavy sigh; just by that, he could tell he was in for it. “God, Louis. You always use that excuse. When are you going to stop?”
“It’s not an excuse if it’s true, Harry.”
“But it’s not true!” Louis’ eyes snapped to meet Harry, who very rarely raised his voice at him. “What was the fucking point of signing with Columbia and leaving Syco if you were just going to sign another fucking contract that put you under this restriction that you couldn’t be gay?! I thought we agreed—I thought you agreed there would be no more fucking contracts!”
“I can’t help what people want, Harry!”
“I did!”
“Yeah, well I’m not fucking you, now am I?” Louis was angry, his fists clenched at his sides. “Not everyone just gets to be whoever the fuck they want, Harry! Not everyone gets to be as free as you are. That’s not how this industry works.”
Harry’s green eyes hardened as they burned into Louis’, causing a chill to run down the shorter man’s spine. Both Bruce and Clifford had lifted their heads at the yelling, shocked by the sudden sound. “I just don’t get it, Louis. You’re always making up a reason for not fucking coming out! It’s always ‘Oh, management wants this,’ or ‘Oh, management wants that.’ What about what the fuck I want, Louis?”
“Oh, isn’t that just like you,” Louis sneered, rolling his eyes as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Why the fuck do you think I always did want management wanted me to? It’s always been because of you, Harry! Every fake date, every fucking contract, every fucking argument with Modest!. It’s always about your narcissistic ass!”
“So, it’s all my fault?”
Louis scoffed. “God, can’t it just ever be about someone else, Harry?” He stood up from the sofa, choosing to pace around the spacious living room. After what felt like forever, he stopped moving, clearly seething where he stood. He looked at Harry. “I never wanted to become someone I didn’t know. I never asked to be forced to change my personality because I was too ‘gay.’ I never asked to be forced away from the person I cared about the most and have our social interactions be stopped completely. I never asked to be hidden behind a girl for seven fucking years. I didn’t ask for any of that, Harry. I did it all, so you didn’t fucking have to. I did it all for you because it’s always been about you.”
“Yeah, well like I’ve told you before, Louis, I never asked you to that for me,” Harry argued coldly.
“You didn’t have to! That’s what we do for the people we love, Harry,” Louis yelled flabbergasted. He breathed in before mumbling, “Not like you would understand.”
Harry just chuckled bitterly, standing up from the couch dejectedly. “So, that’s what you think of me, huh? That I don’t love you?”
“H, that’s not what I meant.”
“Yeah, well that’s what you said.” The taller lad looked around the room, trying to push back the tears that threatened to fall. He worried his lips between his teeth anxiously, before shaking his head and making his way towards the front door.
Louis promptly followed him, pushing himself to keep up with his boyfriend’s long legs. “H, where are you going? Come on.” He reached out to grab for Harry's shoulders, but the younger boy just shrugged him off.
“I just need some air.” And the door slammed as he walked out.
Seven hours later brought Harry coming back into the house, keys jingling as they were hung back on the hook by the door. Louis listened as his footsteps tentatively made their way to the living room and his boyfriend’s deep voice greeted Clifford quietly. The smaller man cuddled deeper into the sofa, cheeks raw from tears and eyes red. He looked over the back of the couch, watching as Harry paused at the sight of Louis. Harry let out a deep sigh, stripping himself of his jacket before taking a seat at the end of the sofa.
They just stared at each other silently, letting the tension in the air grow stronger. Finally, Harry decided to break the tension, “I’m sorry, Lou. I shouldn’t have walked out like that.”
Although he was still covered by a blanket, he shrugged, “It’s alright. You were just trying to calm down.” Another beat of silence. “I’m sorry too, H. I shouldn’t have said what I said—it’s not true at all. I know how much you love me.”
Harry nodded solemnly, “You were right though, Lou. I don’t—” He sighed again. “I don’t know what it’s like to sacrifice so much. I never had too. I got to be who I was because of you and what you did for me.”
“It doesn’t mean you loved me any less, H. And you were still hurt in the process—you still went through some shit. We all did.” Louis shifted on the couch, so he was sitting up, shoulder pressing against Harry as he fiddled with his hands in his lap. “I wish things were different, H. I wish, when we got put into One Direction, that it would’ve been easier for us to both be ourselves. That we wouldn’t have had to keep what we were a secret. We both went through some shit, but for the most part, we did it together.”
“Yeah, but it wasn’t the same shit you went through, Lou. God, it was so much worse.” Harry ran one of his massive hands through his hair, tugging at it anxiously. “The worst fucking thing I had to go through was take my fucking nail varnish off before a concert. I mean, fuck, Lou. They—they made you unrecognizable.” Louis could feel the mood shift as he heard his boyfriend choke of the sob no doubt coming to the surface. “Fuck, I’m so sorry, Louis. I’m sorry they did that to you.”
Louis turned his body to face towards Harry, grabbing his hands to squeeze them reassuringly. “Please stop apologizing, Harry. We told ourselves we were going to stop apologizing when we got back together. None of this was either of our faults.”
“Sometimes I just think,” Harry started, wiping a tear from his face with his sleeve. “Sometimes I just think that I could’ve pushed harder for you, Louis. That I should’ve stuck up for you more and taken on more of the heavy sides of the contract, so you didn’t have to suffer through all that by yourself.”
Louis shrugged nonchalantly, “You were so young, H. You were just a 16-year-old kid.”
“So were you, Louis. You were still a kid too.”
“Yeah, but I was older. I felt like I had to protect you—like I was responsible for you. I just didn’t want you to have to experience the cruelty of the world yet or pretend to be someone you weren’t. You are just so beautiful, H. I didn’t want you to change that.”
Harry swallowed heavily, a tear escaping down his cheek to his chin. “So, you let them change you instead?”
Louis shrugged, “It seemed worth it. It’s still worth it. I love you, Harry, more and more every day. And I went through a lot of shit, yes, but I did it because I love you, H. And I would do it all over again if it meant that you got to stay yourself.” Harry blushed, a small smile finally appearing on his face. He leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on Louis’ lips, which Louis reciprocated.
“I won’t let that happen again,” Harry promised, and Louis could tell he meant it. “We’re going to figure this out, Louis. We’re going to set you free soon too.”
FACEBOOK POST TRANSCRIPT
[I have had an amazing 10 years in the music industry, and in those 10 years, I have felt fortunate enough to be who I am. However, there is a major part of my life that I have kept out of the industry, as I tried to figure out just exactly who I was.
As many people in the LGBT+ community, sexuality is not something as simple as gay or straight anymore. Gender is not just male or female. The terms in which we describe our sexual orientation have developed, and sexuality is a spectrum more than a straight line (no pun intended). Trying to perfectly pinpoint who we are attracted to is much more difficult than it used to be, and I am just one of those individuals who is trying to navigate.
I have always known that I was attracted to men. When everyone else in my class was crushing on Bella Swan, I was too busy fighting myself over Edward or Jacob. However, there was still a question of whether I still like females, and then I learned what bisexuality was; it became a new calling card. There were times for me, as One Direction came under the spotlight, where I convinced myself I was bisexual just so I could date women and appear normal. Unfortunately, pretending put a lot of stress on my family, my friends, the women, and men I dated, and myself. I have decided that I am done pretending.
I am gay.
While I know this might influence some of you to separate yourself from my music, I hope you realize that we are not much different. I still love romantic comedies. I still love to treat my boyfriend to dinner, hold the door open for him, and pull out his chair. I am still me. For those who decide to stick around, I hope you can see me as more than just my sexuality. I hope that one day, we can all be seen as human and treat people with kindness.
All the love, H.]
“Please welcome out Mr Harry Styles!” The audience cheered loudly as Harry made his way onto the set, looking beautiful in a black Gucci suit and a light blue button-up. Louis was sat in the green room, admiring the swagger that Harry carried himself with through a screen. A light smile was playing at his lips as he took a sip of the beer in his hand.
Louis watched as Harry hugged James and shook hands with George Sear before making himself comfortable on the couch next to the actor. Harry placed his hands together and bowed as a way to thank the audience, then placed his full attention on James.
“Welcome back, Harry, it’s been a while, I feel, since you’ve last been on my show,” James chuckled, smiling brightly at his friend.
Harry just nodded in response, turning to look over the crowd before answering James. “It has been a while. Last time I was on here I was promoting Fine Line.”
“And a lot has happened since then, hasn’t it?” Harry just shrugged in response, causing the audience, James, and George to laugh. “Normally, you’re so quick to be a narcissist, Harry. Don’t get all shy on me now.”
“I guess you could say a few things have happened since I was last here.”
“I’ll say,” James chuckled. “First off, you have since released your second solo album, Fine Line, which was widely successful. It debuted number one on the Billboard 200, making it your second consecutive number-one album in the United States.” Harry blushed and the crowd clapped widely, the fangirls especially making themselves heard. “Not only that, Harold, but it broke the record for the biggest debut from a British male artist.”
Harry snorted, swatting his hand at James as he joked, “Oh, stop it. You’re making me blush.”
“So modest is this one,” George laughed to his left, leaning back on the couch to look directly at James.
James just shook his head disapprovingly, “Isn’t he? You wouldn’t believe how annoying he gets on stage. From videos I’ve seen, he’ll stop in the middle of a song if the crowd doesn’t cheer loud enough.”
“That is, like, during one song, James. That’s not fair.” The three men bantered on a bit longer before James continued the interview.
“Obviously, Harry, this was a very important album for you. You are following up your debut solo album, which went number one in 84 countries. Were you worried about keeping the ball rolling?”
Louis watched as his boyfriend took in a deep breath, considering his answer before speaking, “I think there were obviously going to be some nerves trying to follow up my first album because it did do so well. And, I’ll be honest, I didn’t expect it to do so well. However, about halfway into making this one, I went to Jamaica to write some of it. And I kinda just sat on the beach watching the waves hit the sand while I had a conversation about my worries with someone, and we had this whole revelation of what success was to me. He helped me realized that as long as I was happy with what I made, then I would be successful, and from that point on that kinda became my mindset.”
“Well, and I think that’s a great mindset to have, honestly. So many people look for approval to make a popular song nowadays that they trade in their happiness for a spot that is never completely guaranteed.”
“Mm, and that’s where ‘Watermelon Sugar’ took its place for me as well,” Harry explained, scratching the tip of his nose. “You know, it’s a good song, but it isn’t my favourite on this album by any means. And although I wasn’t trying to write something to put on the radio, you can kinda step back and say, ‘Oh yeah, that’s going to be a radio song.’”
“It is quite catchy,” George agreed, laughing lightly. “I blast it driving through traffic with the windows down.”
“Exactly. It’s one of those tunes that you just rock out to,” Harry conceded. “And I always knew it was going to be a single once I came back around to writing it. Not that I was trading my happiness necessarily, but I think I would’ve much rather made, like, ‘Canyon Moon’ a single.”
“George and I were just talking about ‘Canyon Moon.’”
Harry smiled and turned to George, “Were you? Are you a fan?”
“My girlfriend, Kaitlyn, is a massive fan of that song in particular,” he laughed, running his hand through his hair. “It’s her ringtone and she plays it at full volume at least once a day to make sure I hear it.”
“I see your girlfriend has great taste then,” Harry joked.
“She’s a fan of you, so clearly.” More cheers from the audience followed as Harry blushed.
“In her defence, George, you and Harry both have a similar look to you, so maybe she just likes him because he looks like you and he’s British.” Both George and Harry laughed as George shrugged his shoulders. “Do you get to choose the singles though, Harry, or is that more up to the big bosses?”
Harry pulled his lip between his fingers thoughtfully. “It’s a bit of both. Like I said, when you hear a song, sometimes you just know it would be perfect for a single. I felt that way about ‘Adore You’ as well.”
“And obviously you releasing your second album isn’t the only big news that has happened in your life,” James observed, looking down at the card in his lap. “One Direction had a reunion and released a new album!” If Louis thought the crowd had been loud before, it was nothing compared to what he heard through the TV speakers. It reminded Louis of one of the reasons he loved their fans so much.
Harry allowed the cheering to last a bit longer, a massive grin coming over his face. “That is something that has happened, yes.”
A picture of the four boys during a recent Carpool Karaoke segment appeared on the screen by James and the crowd clapped again. “You boys released a brand-new album, that consists of not only new content but also several old unreleased songs. I can honestly say that I’m pretty sure you boys broke the internet. How did it feel getting back into that? How long had you all been working on it?”
“I think we had been working on it since early 2019. We had always had this idea of what we wanted to do when we got back together, but none of us were ready yet,” Harry explained to James. “And it was scary to get back into the groove of One Direction. I was worried about how the response would be if I’m being honest.”
“Did you really have any doubt with your fans?”
“I mean,” Harry began, looking up as he crafted his words. “You know, when we all got back in contact with each other in a group chat, I voiced my concerns and it was Louis who told me how stupid I was being.” The audience laughed at this, while a select few cooed. “I think, uh, a lot of it was more apprehension that we weren’t ready yet. You know, Louis and Liam were both releasing their debut albums, Niall was in the middle of writing Heartbreak Weather, and I was finishing up Fine Line getting ready to do press for it. And it was more of the expectation, I think, that fans would have if we released an album.”
“You mean, like, they’d want you to tour and whatnot?”
“Exactly,” Harry nodded. “And while it isn’t unheard of to not tour for an album, I was getting stuck in my own head because we never toured for Made in the AM. And the past five years, while mostly joking I’m sure, has been spent being begged to tour for that album, even now. We just didn’t want to let them down if we put out new music and didn’t tour for it.”
“And it was Louis who brought you to your senses?”
Harry chuckled, looking into the camera, almost as if he were looking directly at Louis. “It was, yeah. He’s always had this immaculate relationship with the fans, and especially his fans. And I remember, uh, this one FaceTime call we had where he just kinda berated me for not trusting the fans. It was quite comical. You should’ve seen Niall and Liam’s faces.”
“Well, I can definitely say that the fans received it quite well,” James snorted, rolling his eyes at the Cheshire lad. “I don’t think it’s really necessary to go through the statistics, considering a person would be crazy to not know how crazy successful it was. What I will say though is that several artists pushed back their own release dates as to not rival with yours.”
“Yeah, that might’ve been a bit overkill.”
“I will speak on behalf of every One Direction fan, Harry, that we are happy you boys are back, but we’re also excited to see what you four will do in your solo careers as well,” James added, shifting in his seat nervously. This was it—Louis could tell. James was going to bring up what they really came here for. “So, Harry, I guess we can somewhat talk about what most people are curious about. Obviously, we’ve avoided the elephant in the room. A new One Direction album isn’t the only thing that’s come out recently.”
The Facebook post popped up next on the screen, the beautiful picture of Harry clutching a rainbow flag in one of his beautiful suits. “In your coming out statement, you mentioned how you have been hiding this part of yourself for ten years; what finally gave you the push to come out?”
“I had been, like, wanting to for quite some time, but a lot of what was holding me back was this, like, fear,” Harry answered honestly. Louis was tense as he listened to Harry, thinking of his own emotions.
“Fear of what?”
“Fear of a lot of things, I suppose,” Harry continued. “It has changed throughout the years. In the early One Direction days, it was fear of ruining your brand-new career and your brand-new friends’ careers. It was fear that you didn’t actually know if you were, or weren’t, gay. It eventually turned into fear of it ruining your solo career or hurting other people. Eventually, in some ways, it just became easier to lie to yourself and to others.”
Louis’ heart ached in his chest at Harry’s words. Louis knew lying to himself all too well. It had taken him years to pull himself out of pretending—it wasn’t until a serious conversation with his mum after her diagnosis that he realized he was tired of it all. Unfortunately, it hadn’t ended there, and another contract pulled him into this idea that it would still ruin his career at that point. Even when he and Harry got back together, he was expected to hold up yet another charade with another girlfriend. Thankfully, now, that contracted had ended. Louis could come out whenever he was ready—he just didn’t know if he was.
Louis’ attention was brought back to James, “And you eventually got tired of lying?”
“Yeah, I did. I was quite lucky if I’m honest. I’ve always been the member of the band that was expected to be gay,” Harry chuckled, even though Louis didn’t find it very funny. “I’ve always gotten to be a bit more open about how I dress and brushing that line of femininity. I could’ve come out ages ago, but I just never felt like it was the right time. I think, even in 2016, I was trying to figure myself out and my labels. I was trying to figure out if I knew who I was.”
“I’d say, Harry, you’ve done quite a great job of being yourself over the years,” James commented, his smile genuine. “You’ve really knocked out that line between feminine and masculine. And I think it has been revolutionary for a lot of people.”
“I think it’s important to show people that just because society tells us we have to be a certain way, doesn’t mean that we have to follow it. At the same time, though, it goes both ways. It comes from both heteronormative culture and even within the LGBT community.”
“George,” James said, leaning over to look at the man. “That was a theme covered in Love, Victor, especially with your character Benji.”
George nodded, “It was. And you mention it going both ways, even in the LGBT community, and that was something I didn’t really know before I was playing Benji. Benji is a hopeless romantic who still likes anniversaries and dates, and it was difficult because his boyfriend in the show was completely against them. He thought it was too ‘straight.’ I like how you mentioned that in your post, Harry.”
“Thank you, George. Love, Victor is an amazing show, by the way. Benji is my favourite character.” The crowd cooed as Harry smiled at George. “It’s interesting because sometimes I feel like we’re so worried about this divide. While I agree that, if you don’t want to believe in things like anniversaries and date nights, you don’t have to, I still do. I am a romantic. Just like my sister’s boyfriend takes her out every Wednesday night, I want to do that for my boyfriend as well. I would also like him to do that for me if he’s up for it.”
That was something that Louis always loved to do for Harry—take him on dates. They had strict date nights, something they implemented early on in their relationship to make sure they spent time with just each other, especially during the craziness that was One Direction. Although Louis was terrified on coming out, one thing that he wishes he could do publicly was to take Harry out like he deserved. It would be so nice to just go out to dinner like a normal couple. It would be so nice to go grocery shopping and be papped together, and it not be a big deal.
James nodded along with Harry, smiling at the appropriate times. “On the terms of boys, did your bandmates know about your sexuality?”
“They knew as soon as I did.” Harry cleared his throat as he looked at James. “Like I said in my post, I tried to convince myself for a long time that I was bisexual, and that’s what I told the boys. Eventually, when I figured out I hadn’t like girls in years, I told them right away.”
“I know there is one big question that is hanging in the air, and you’re going to be asked a lot about this, so maybe I can just put it out there now and we can clear the air for future interviews. People have always been suspicious about your relationship with bandmate Louis Tomlinson. Would you like to comment on that?”
Louis sucked in a breath and held it, his stomach turning at the possible answers that Harry could give. Fuck, he hated this moment. He knew it was coming—it was always going to be a question if one came out before the other. Louis just didn’t know how hard it was going to be to hear it spoken aloud. This is why Harry had wanted him to come out with him, so they could stop lying. It was almost cruel. The Doncaster lad watched as Harry gulped, his left hand beginning to fiddle with the rings on his right. He noticed the way his face dropped like he knew he was wishing Louis were on the stage with him—Louis wished he were there too.
“There, uh,” Harry stuttered, his face slightly reddening, but not enough to be noticed by an untrained eye. “Uhm, Louis is my best friend. I love him to death, and I will forever be grateful that he came into my life. I know that’s not an answer that the fans will be interested in, but that’s all I really have to say on the topic.”
Fuck.
That hurt.
“Understandable.” Harry seemed to relax when James let the question go with a smile. “You mentioned a boyfriend in your post. Does that mean there is a lucky man in the picture?”
“Yes, there is.” The crowd cheered loudly, the shrill cheers of the fans warming Louis’ heart with their support, and no doubt warming Harry’s as well. “But that’s all I’m telling you.” James laughed, continuing on with several more questions directed at Harry, but Louis slowly slipped into his own thoughts. His earlier conversation with Harry came rushing back from a few days prior as he thought about what it would be like if he came out.
Harry’s fans hated Louis. While Louis tried to avoid the “die-hard” fans altogether, the abusive ones, sometimes they would still sneak past his filters. He wasn’t new to the abuse or the hate; there were several “fans” during their time in One Direction that still hated Louis. They would tell him he wasn’t good enough or didn’t deserve his spot in the band, and sometimes Louis would believe it. It was one of the reasons why he tried so hard to protect Harry because he at least wanted them to like him. As long as Harry was safe, Louis would be their punching bag. Back then, it was easier to ignore many of those comments because they were often drowned out by the rest of the real fans. Now that Harry had his own fandom, however, it was harder to ignore them; they were so loud. The worst part was he didn’t know why Harry’s fan hated him so much. He didn’t know why he was even a part of the equation when they weren’t talking during the release of his first solo album. If his fans hated Louis for just simply being present in his life, he didn’t know what kind of abuse he would suffer if they found out Harry was taken by him. It had broken them apart the first time; he didn’t want a repeat of that. He just wished Harry understood that.
At the same time, Louis wanted to be out. He wanted to hold Harry’s hand in public. He wanted to go to Harry’s listening parties, be seen backstage at his concerts, and be seen on the red carpet with him. He wants to openly support his boyfriend—he wants to wish him a happy birthday on Twitter and post Instagram stories about his new singles. If it weren’t for the hate he knows he’ll get, he wouldn’t even think for a second of staying in the closet. Because he was so sick of hiding. He was so sick of not being himself every second of every day. He got to put out Walls, which was the most self-expression Louis had gotten to experience in close to eight years. He didn’t understand what was so bad about him being gay—Harry was allowed to be gay, so why wasn’t he?
Sometimes Louis didn’t think he deserved to be out—that he didn’t deserve to be happy. He sings that love is only for the brave in every show he performs, yet he’s not brave enough to openly love who he loves. He’s a hypocrite.
“You’re doing it again.” The deep voice belonging to his boyfriend startled him. Louis looked up from his lap to find Harry leaning against the door to the green room, a sad smile on his face. The taller lad moved into the room towards Louis tentatively. “I’ve only got about a ten-minute break before I have to get back out there. I just wanted to come check on you.”
Louis stayed silent for a minute, eyes searching Harry’s face desperately. “I’m a hypocrite, aren’t I?”
Harry’s brow furrowed curiously, “In what way?”
“I say love is only for the brave like I’m brave or some shit. Yet I’m over here afraid to tell people who I love, even if I want to scream it from the rooftop.”
His boyfriend sighed, making his way to sit next to Louis on the couch. Harry placed his hand on Louis’ knee and rubbed his thumb against it soothingly. “You are one of the bravest people I know, sun. You’ve been through so much. You’ve lost your mum and your sister. You took the heat for me for all those years in One Direction. You dated a girl for six fucking years just to protect me. You’re brave, your team is just shit.”
“I lied, H.” Harry raised an eyebrow as he looked on at Louis. “My team isn’t preventing me from coming out; I’m just terrified. Fuck, H. You’re so open. Your fans love you for it, but they fucking hate me. They hate me now and all I am to you is your bandmate at this point—barely! Imagine if I suddenly became your boyfriend; who knows what they’re going to say? And that terrifies me.” Louis stopped to take in a breath and will away the tears threatening to spill. “But, H, I want it all with you.”
Harry’s head shot up, eyes wide as he stuttered out, “Wh-What?”
“I’m sick of being afraid, H. I really am. I want it all with you. I want to be a real couple, that goes out and does things together. We get to live such amazing lives and I want to live them together.” Louis lifted his head and green met blue. He offered a shaky smile to Harry. “Do you remember a few days ago when you told me that you would be by my side when I decided to come out?”
“Of course,” nodded Harry.
“I think,” Louis started, taking another deep breath. “I think if you’re by my side, then I’m ready. Tonight.” Before Louis could react, Harry’s lips were on Louis’, making him feel loved. It was one of those kisses that Louis craved in the late hours of the night—the ones that made Louis realize that he wanted to continue to kiss Harry for the rest of his life. It was one of those ones Louis would get after he made Harry proud—like when he released his solo album. Or after he performed his first live show in Madrid. It was solid and tender, and if coming out meant that Louis got to do this all the time, then maybe those hate comments would be worth it all—they always were for Harry.
Eventually, Harry pulled away, a beaming smile on his face and his dimples popping. “I think I have an idea if you’re up for it?” Louis nodded in response. “Okay, then come on.” Harry gripped Louis’ hand and pulled him out of the room.
He was shaking, just like he had been when he stepped up to Harry’s door years ago to tell him he was sorry. However, this was different; he was terrified, yes, but he had Harry by his side. And this time, he wasn’t letting him go.
“Please welcome to the stage, performing his brand-new single ‘Fine Line,’ Harry Styles, with a special guest, Louis Tomlinson!” Louis didn’t know what he was expecting when the lights went up, but he should’ve known the reaction from the audience was going to be anything but calm. He looked out over the stage lights with a smile, strumming the first few cords of “Fine Line” gently. Mitch was off to the side, a kind smile on his lips as he watched Louis and Harry back on stage with one another.
“Put a price on emotion,
I’m looking for something to buy.
You’ve got my devotion,
But, man, I can hate you sometimes.”
The audience stayed silent, swaying to the beautiful melody of Harry’s voice and the soft strumming of Louis on guitar. Harry continued onto the chorus, eyes on Louis the entire time as Louis sang the backing vocals. It was written to be sung this way anyway, and it was amazing that it was going to be televised.
The end of the song came gently, the crowd going wild, many with tears in their eyes. James began to close off the show but the only thing in Louis’ line of vision was Harry, who was giving him the most beautiful smile. He couldn’t resist the urge as he set the guitar down on its stand and marched over to Harry. He grabbed ahold on Harry’s broad shoulders, twisting him around to face him. And he leaned in to close the space between them.
Louis’ assumed the audience was going crazy, but all Louis could focus on was Harry’s gentle breathing and the fact that they were finally free.
