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Quinn looks through the window on the door to the choir room to make sure there isn’t glee this afternoon. Rachel had asked her to meet her here after school, which Quinn reluctantly agreed to after lots of pleading. She had made it clear to Rachel that she was not going to rejoin glee, but Rachel seemed to never give up.
"Quinn. You came." Rachel steps out from behind the piano. She sounds surprised. Quinn brushes her choppy pink bangs out of her eyes.
"Well, you didn't really give me a choice." She means it to be light-hearted but Rachel's face falls. Her eyes drop to the ground, looking guilty.
"You can leave if you don't want to be here. I don't want to force you to do anything." Rachel says quietly. Quinn sighs and takes a seat in the front row.
"Rachel, I'm here now, so go ahead and sing whatever you've prepared." Rachel looks up brightly and disappears out the side door. When she comes back, Brittany and Santana are following her. Brittany sits at the drum set and Santana takes a guitar. Quinn hadn't known they played those instruments. Rachel takes her place behind the microphone. Taking a deep breath, she nods to Santana and Brittany. They start playing softly. Rachel's voice is quiet, and almost shy.
I guess you really did it this time
Left yourself in your warpath
Lost your balance on the tightrope
Lost your mind trying to get it back
Quinn leans back in her chair, Skank attitude in full force, and keeps her face passive. Whatever they have planned here isn't going to work. Singing a slow song isn't going to convince her to come back to glee. Rachel starts singing the next verse anyway.
Wasn’t it easier in your lunchbox days?
Always a bigger bed to crawl into
Wasn’t it beautiful when you believed in everything
And everyone believed in you?
Rachel looks straight into Quinn’s eyes the entire song, and Quinn tries to ignore her soft, sad expression - like she's trying to break through all of Quinn's walls with just her eyes and her song. Quinn can feel her mask starting to slip but she can't look away.
Rachel is just so painfully earnest. She always was, which irritated Quinn for whatever reason. It was one of the reasons she had antagonized Rachel for years. The way Rachel kept trying to be friends with her, forgiving her endlessly no matter what Quinn did, drove her insane. Quinn was trying to hate her, why couldn't Rachel just let her?
The song reaching the chorus brings Quinn back to the present. Of course, Rachel already has tears in her eyes.
It's alright, just wait and see
Your string of lights is still bright to me
Oh, who you are is not where you've been
You're still an innocent
You're still an innocent
At these lyrics, Quinn recalls what she had told Rachel earlier, when Rachel was begging her to come back to glee. After being fed up by Rachel's endless nagging, Quinn had blurted out harshly, “Rachel, you just don’t get it. I’ve hurt too many people. I’ve made too many mistakes."
She hadn't meant to tell Rachel the real reason she wouldn't come back. She barely could admit it to herself. After her outburst, Rachel had hurried away in shock, but not before asking her to come to the choir room one last time.
Quinn can understand why Rachel had picked this song. She wishes she didn't. Rachel always brought up things Quinn didn't want to think about.
Did some things you can't speak of
But at night you live it all again
You wouldn't be shattered on the floor now
If only you had seen what you know now then
Tears form in Quinn's eyes. She can't pretend she doesn't hear or care about what Rachel is saying to her. Quinn had spent so long hating herself for all of the things she'd done wrong, and here was Rachel, the person she had hurt the most, singing that she was innocent - that her mistakes and misdoings were forgiven. How?
Wasn't it easier in your firefly-catchin' days?
When everything out of reach
Someone bigger brought down to you
Wasn't it beautiful runnin' wild 'til you fell asleep
Before the monsters caught up to you?
Quinn's taken back to her childhood, before any of this happened, before she had turned into a person she didn't like, before she had lost her family. Quinn realizes tears are running down her face.
Over the past year, Quinn had begun to realize the real reason why she had become that horrible person, building up impenetrable walls and shoving down her feelings. The feelings that kept coming back, no matter what she did. The realization hadn't come easily, or happily.
It's alright, just wait and see
Your string of lights is still bright to me
Oh, who you are is not what you've been
You're still an innocent
It's okay, life is a tough crowd
17, and still growin' up now
Who you are is not what you did
You're still an innocent
Brittany and Santana sing soft background vocals, and Rachel is still refusing to break eye contact with Quinn.
Quinn tries to wrap her head around how Rachel could forgive her for everything she's done, when Quinn can't even begin to forgive herself.
Rachel steps up to Quinn and takes her hand. She smiles at her, tears clinging to her long eyelashes. This obviously wasn't like the performances Rachel usually gave, to show everyone how talented she was. This was a song just for Quinn.
Time turns flames to embers
You'll have new Septembers
Every one of us has messed up too
Minds change like the weather
I hope you remember
Today is never too late to be brand new
Rachel squeezes Quinn’s hand and lets go.
It's alright, just wait and see
Your string of lights is still bright to me
Oh, who you are is not what you've been
You're still an innocent
It's okay, life is a tough crowd
17, and still growin' up now
Who you are is not what you did
You're still an innocent
You're still an innocent
Lost your balance on a tightrope
It's never too late to get it back
The song ends and Quinn wipes away her tears, smiling up at Rachel. Rachel pulls her up into a hug. Brittany runs up and joins them, pulling Santana with her until they're all wrapped around Quinn tightly. After a few moments, Quinn pulls away. "Thank you guys. Thank you for caring when no one else did."
"Q, you don't have to come back to glee if you don't want to" Santana says. Brittany chimes in, "We just want you to know we're here for you" Quinn squeezes their hands in thanks. They give her another hug and turn to leave, linking pinkies.
Quinn turns back to Rachel. “You really mean what the song said?” Rachel looks at her, surprised
“Of course I do. I like to think I can see the real you, no matter how hard you try to hide it.” She cocks her head to the side. “Although I do kind of like the pink hair.” Quinn laughs.
“Thank you. For everything. And I want to tell you that I really am sorry for how I treated you for so long. It was my own problems that made me act that way, not anything to do with you.” Quinn ignores how her behavior had in fact had to do with Rachel, just not in the way she thought. Rachel didn’t need to know that.
“I know.” Rachel says solemnly. “And I’ve forgiven you for that now. I hope you can forgive yourself too.”
Quinn smiles at her, unable to answer that, at least for now.
“Are you doing anything tonight? Do you want to come over to hang out?" Rachel smiles up at her brightly.
“I would love that.”
"You know, I didn't really date a 40 year old skateboarder this summer" Quinn tells Rachel, amused, as they walk out of the choir room.
"You didn't?" Rachel looks up, confused.
"No that was a rumor the Skanks made up, to give me the right image"
"Well, I'm glad. Not to judge you or anything, but that didn't seem like a healthy relationship to me." Quinn laughs, opening the door for her.
Months later, when Quinn announces her acceptance to Yale to the glee club, she’s thinking about Rachel's message to her. It's never too late to be brand new.