Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Three Years Ago

A promise of love.

That’s what Allura had given him.

But now it was gone.

Keith finds him first. He is curled up on the floor of Allura’s room, staring blankly at the wall. His throat is raw and his tongue feels like sandpaper in his mouth. He has no energy left in him to scream, to cry, to move, to do anything. He feels numb. There’s a persisting nothingness pressing in on him, suffocating him.

He wants to tell Keith to go away. He doesn’t want his pity. He doesn’t want to hear people tell him that it will be okay. That he will be okay. Because he is not okay, not even in the slightest.

But Keith doesn’t say any of those things. He doesn’t say anything at all. He just sits next to Lance and pulls him close. He wraps Lance in a tight hug and holds him while a fresh wave of tears spill. Still, he says nothing but Lance knows what the gesture means.

I’m here for you, it says.

Shiro finds them hours later, tangled up in each other and fast asleep.

Present Day

Lance looks forward to the gathering on New Altea every year. It’s one of the very few times a year that the former Paladins all get to be together again, and Lance has learned to cherish every single second they get to spend with each other. It’s hard, with each of them taking their own paths in life, but their bond is stronger than time and distance. Lance has learned that too.

The moment the ship touches down, Lance is racing out of it and into the arms of his best friend.

“Lance!” Hunk grasps him tightly, lifting Lance clear off his feet, “I missed you so much man, it’s been forever!”

“Hunk,” Lance wheezes, “Can’t… breathe!”

Hunk releases him from the death grip with a muttered sorry, and then a much smaller person is barreling into Lance.

“You freaking loser.” They say, wrapping their small arms around Lance’s waist, “You never told us you were coming.”

Lance laughs, feeling happiness bubble up inside of him as he hugs Pidge back, “I wanted to surprise you guys. Didn’t think it would work though, as if I’d miss this!”

Pidge releases him and steps back. Lance takes a moment to observe his two friends. It’s been nearly six months since he saw them last and Lance realizes just how much he missed them.

“Are you taller?” He asks Pidge, “I think you’re taller.”

Pidge rolls their eyes, “You say that every time. I’m a growing kid Lance.” And Lance notices the bags under their eyes and the ashy tone to their skin.

“Growing kids also need sleep.” Lance replied pointedly. Honestly Pidge was the worst with sleep. Lance was pretty sure they didn’t sleep at all during their time with Voltron. There had been more than one occasion where he had run into Pidge downing the alien equivalent of coffee at one in the morning aboard the Castle of Lions.

Pidge waves him off, “I’m fine, I’m working on a new project.”

Hunk places a hand next to his mouth and not-so-subtly whispers, “Excuses.” That earns a hard jab in the side from Pidge. Lance feels warm and giddy at seeing his friends in person. Video chats are simply not the same.

“Is Keith here yet?” He asks. Pidge and Hunk exchange a look and Lance’s stomach drops.

“He was here,” Hunk says, “But he had to run to Diabaazal. He said he’ll try to be back for tomorrow.”

Lance nods, trying not to feel too disappointed. Keith is a busy man, but he always tried to make his friends a priority. If he had to go to Diabaazal, it must be incredibly important. His hand slips into his pocket where the folded piece of paper rests, and he silently pleads that Keith will return in time.

Three Years Ago

It was raining.

Again.

There was a time when Lance would cherish the rain. He would run outside with no umbrella or raincoat, spread his arms wide and just let himself enjoy the experience of getting soaked to the skin. If it had rained hard enough there would be puddles for him to splash around in. He would return indoors, sopping wet and covered with mud and his mother would yell him, but he knew it carried no heat. She was happy that he was happy, and after taking a nice warm shower she would always have a cup of coco waiting for him.

Lance felt no inclination to go frolic in the rain now. In fact he was quite annoyed by it. It had been raining non-stop for the past week and a half and Lance was tired.

But to be honest, he was always tired these days.

Lance sat on the couch, staring numbly out the window at the rain. How long had he been there? He had no idea. He didn’t even recall getting out of bed to sit on the couch. There was a cup of tea in his hands. When did that get there? He didn’t know and he didn’t particularly care. He should get up, clean out his mug and maybe eat something. But that took a lot of energy, and he didn’t have any energy. In fact, just thinking about getting up was sapping him of energy, so instead he just sat there on the couch, staring at the rain.

The best way to describe how he felt was blank.

It was minutes, or maybe hours later, when the doorbell rang. Lance heard it distantly, but he made no move to answer it. He didn’t want to talk to anyone.

The doorbell rang again and Lance heard it more fully this time. Distantly he realized that he should get up and see who was at the door, but that was too much. He just wanted to sit on the couch and feel blank.

Whoever was at the door was annoyingly persistent though and they started knocking. Groaning, Lance yanked himself off the couch and wandered towards the door. They must have seen him through the window, Lance concluded. They knew he was home.

An emotion starts to swell in Lance and it takes him a moment to pinpoint what it was.

Annoyance.

He was annoyed at this person behind the door, because they should know that Lance really didn’t want to talk to anybody. He had made that abundantly clear when he moved into the guest house.

The annoyance gave him the energy he needed to march the last few steps to the door and fling it open with a sharp, “What?”

He had been expecting to see his parents, or his sisters or maybe even Shiro. What he had not been expecting was to see Keith, a duffel bag in hand.

“Hey man,” Keith says, one hand coming up to run through his hair, “My place kinda got destroyed in Sendak’s invasion, and the Blade gave me a leave so I was wondering if I could stay with you for a bit.”

Lance lifts an eyebrow, “Why don’t you stay with Shiro.” His tone is dripping bitterness, but he doesn’t care.

Keith levels him with a stare, “Because I don’t want to stay with Shiro, I want to stay with you.” The way he says it is so open and honest and Lance can feel his defenses crumbling.

“Fine.” He grumbles, stepping aside to let Keith in, and for the first time since Allura’s death, Lance feels something more than just a passing emotion.

As much as he doesn’t want Keith there, he can’t help but feel grateful.

Present Day

The sun is setting and Lance finds himself alone with Shiro on the front porch of the small home they all stay in. It’s modest, but it’s enough for all the Paladins to fit comfortably and enjoy their time together away from the prying eyes of the city.

“Congratulations on your engagement.” Lance says, “Curtis is a really lucky guy.”

Shiro gives a small, soft smile, “I’m the lucky one.” He replies, “And thank you.”

Lance’s hands can’t seem to be still. He’s running them through his hair, sticking them in his pockets, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. Shiro notices, of course he does, and says, “Is something bothering you?

“How did you move on?” Lance blurts, “After Adam? How did you know you were ready for love again?”

Shiro looks surprised, but it melts into a fond expression that Lance can’t quite decipher. “I don’t think I’ll ever really move on from Adam.” He says softly, “But I also know that Adam wants me to be happy.” He says it with such certainty, “Honestly, if I never tried to find love again, Adam would probably kick my butt when I got the afterlife.” He chuckles lightly, and Lance joins him.

“Allura would do the same.” He says.

“Allura would also want you to be happy.” Shiro looks at him, and the intensity of his stare almost scares Lance, “You deserve to be happy.”

Lance’s hands find the note tucked in his pocket, “I know.” He whispers, “I’m just scared that I’m not ready.”

“He’ll wait for you to be ready.” Shiro says, and Lance isn’t even remotely surprised that he knows. He’s not exactly subtle.

“He deserves-” Lance is cut off by Shiro’s strong grip on his arm.

“Don’t.” He says, “Don’t start thinking that way.”

Lance lets out a sigh, “I know.” He admits, “But sometimes it’s just easier to run from it.”

“It is.” Shiro agrees, “But think of what you’d miss out on.”

Again, Lance fiddles with the note, “Yeah,” He agrees, “Yeah, you’re right.”

It’s nearly midnight and Lance can’t sleep. The rest of the Paladins and Curtis had gradually nodded off during the Altean movie they’d watched, but sleep remained stubbornly elusive to Lance.

Detangling himself from the blankets, Lance steps carefully around the sleeping bodies littering the floor. He knows why he can’t sleep. Keith isn’t here yet, and he’s a little bit worried. Keith still might not know that Lance is coming to Altea, so he doesn’t want to message him and ruin the surprise. But what if something happens and Keith can’t come? The note is almost burning a hole in Lance’s pocket and he desperately wants to give it to the intended recipient. He had spent hours working on the right way to spill his guts to Keith, and he’s actually really proud of how it turned out.

Lance decides that some cool air would be beneficial, so he quietly eases the front door open and steps outside. Nighttime on New Altea is beautiful. The sky is filled to the brim with stars, and the galaxy opens up before him. Big and wide and beautiful. Sometimes he still feels the yearning to be one with the stars. But these days it’s considerably lessened. He wouldn’t mind travelling the universe again if a certain Mullet invited him.

Allura’s statue isn’t far, so Lance makes the short journey there. He likes the statue well enough, but it’s almost intimidatingly large. It looms over him as he takes a seat at the base. He still misses her, but it’s no longer the all encompassing grief that had taken over after her death. He has realized that maybe his love for her didn’t go as deep as he had initially thought. He did love her, of that he was certain, but he has come to realize that there are different types of love. His love for Allura had felt soft and tender, almost like it was fragile and the slightest thing could shatter it. He had always felt like he needed to be better for her, be stronger for her. And there was an unfair amount of pressure placed on their relationship. He desperately wanted to be strong for her during the last part of the war. Allura had been everything he had expected from a first love.

But he had come to realize that there are different kinds of love.

There’s love that is messy. That is full of arguments and tears and heartbreak, but it’s also somehow impossibly strong. There’s love that overwhelms to the point where he can’t breathe, can’t think because he’s so consumed by it. It’s a terrifying kind of love, one that is all encompassing, one that burns through every part of him. It’s letting someone love him for everything that he is. Letting someone see him at his lowest moments and trusting that person to be there through them.

He pulls out the little note. Yes, he had thought a lot about love lately.

Chapter Text

It’s after breakfast the following day when Lance’s phone pings with a message from Keith.

Keith: Looks like they’ll be down two Paladins this year :(

Lance: what?? youre not going????

Keith: no, there’s an urgent blade mission, I have to leave right now

Lance: ………..would it change your mind if i said i was on new altea?

Keith: …..

Keith: WAHT?

Keith: Lance! You said you werent coming!!

Lance: i wanted to surprise you!

Keith: :((((( well now I dont want to go on the mission

Lance: then dont :)

Keith: as tempting as that is i have to :(

Lance: cant it wait a few hours???????

Keith: I wish

Keith: but this could be our only chance to take down one of the biggest rebel cells, we have to take it

Lance: :(

Keith: :(

Lance: how long will it take?

Keith: a few days? I dont know

Lance: you might be able to make it for the end of the week

Keith: ill try

“Ooo texting Keith again?” Pidge elbows Lance in the side and his phone slips out of his hands. He makes a desperate grab for it, but fails miserably and it lands face first on the floor.

“If that’s broken, you owe me.” Lance grumbles, bending down. He gingerly lifts a corner, inspecting it for damage.

Pidge swipes it from his grasp, “It’s fine, look.” They show him the face, which is still in near perfect condition, “Oh, and Keith texted you again.”

Lance doesn’t even bother to hide the grin that takes over his face as he takes his phone back.

“Hunk!” Pidge yelps, “Lance is being gay again!”

“Bi.” Lance automatically corrects and Hunk enters the room chuckling. He wraps one arm around Lance’s shoulders and captures Pidge with the other.

“We’re gonna be late for the parade,” He ushers them towards the door, “Let’s go!”

Lance pockets his phone and allows himself to be led out the door. The streets are already bustling with people, all of them vying for good spots for the parade. The three Paladins edge through the crowd to the start of the parade, a few blocks away. They’re wearing replicas of their Paladin armour, which makes them very recognizable.

“Look!” It’s the Paladins of Voltron!” A young boy is tugging on his mother's arm and pointed excitedly towards them.

The parade is… not Lance’s favourite. Especially since this time of year was one to remember Allura. The first year, when Coran had told them about it Lance had walked out and utterly refused to be a participant. Keith had followed him, he had been the one to convince Lance to give it a chance. Lance had grumbled the entire time, but admitted it was worth it when all the small children came running to him afterwards asking him question after question about space.

That was his favourite. Interacting with the children. They were filled with the same wonder and amazement that Lance had once experienced himself. He wanted to inspire the children to become who they always wanted to be. They were the next heroes of the universe, and if he could do anything to help them, he would.

They had just been children when they’d been thrown into a war bigger than anything they could’ve imagined. Heck, Pidge had only been fifteen. None of them had had any idea what they were getting themselves into. They had been ripped from their home planet and their families so suddenly. But they had become a family of their own. And Lance couldn’t bring himself to regret anything that had happened.

Three Years Ago

“Get up!”

Lance groans and pulls the covers over his head, “It’s too early.”

Keith isn’t taking any of his crap, “It’s eleven thirty. Get out of bed.”

Lance burrows himself further into the blankets. Why did Keith have to be such a nuisance? He just wanted to be left alone to wallow, but no. Keith wouldn’t let him. Distantly Lance realized that it was probably a good thing, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. In the week that he had been there, Keith had successfully disrupted Lance’s melancholic existence. Starting with yanking Lance out of bed.

Every single morning.

“Lance.” Keith’s voice is firm, commanding, “You can’t stay in bed all day.”

“I can and I will.” Lance mumbles. It’s a bad day. Well, worse day. All of Lance’s days are bad, but normally he can drag himself out of bed and feed himself and go outside for a bit. But occasionally there were days when Lance didn’t want to do anything at all. Where the weight of the world seemed to be crushing him until he couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, and certainly couldn’t get out of bed.

So instead of getting out of bed, he burrows himself even deeper into the blankets. He hears Keith sigh, but it’s not annoyed. It sounds almost… fond?

“It’s one of those days isn’t it?” Keith asks softly. The second day Keith had been here, Lance had a worse day. When he’d felt slightly better he had explained it to Keith, and explained that it was best to just leave him alone on those days.

Lance doesn’t respond, but Keith must get the message because he leaves the room. Lance gingerly pokes his head out of the blankets and is met with the blinding sun. Keith had opened the curtains, letting the midday light pour into the room. Lance cringes as he glances around. His room really is a huge mess. There’s laundry piled on the chairs by the window and he honestly has no idea if it’s clean or not. There’s dishes piled on his bedside table and old water bottles littering the floor. There’s still boxes spilling out of the closet from when he’d moved into the guest house. He should clean it… someday. Not today though. And probably not tomorrow either. He can’t bring himself to be embarrassed that Keith sees his room in this state. He doesn’t really care.

He also notices that Keith left his bedroom door open.

Lance groans. He hates having his bedroom door open, and he knows that Keith knows that. He probably did it on purpose so that Lance will get out of bed and close it. Nope. Lance isn’t falling for that. He wants to stay in bed, and that’s where he’ll stay.

Distantly he can hear Keith coming up the stairs and he considers calling him back to close the door. But that wave of melancholy is still there, and Lance just doesn’t care.

Lance has just made himself comfortable in his bed again when Keith appears in the doorway holding a tablet in one hand, and a carton of ice cream in the other. At his timid expression, Lance’s heart soars.

They spend the rest of that day curled in Lance’s bed, watching movies and inhaling junk food. And Lance feels good.

Present Day

The week had passed in a blur. The parade, the dinner, the speeches, the fireworks, all in memory of Allura. With each passing day, the hope that Keith would return dwindled. Keith had stopped responding to Lance’s messages three days ago, but Lance wasn’t worried. He was used to receiving radio silence from Keith when he was busy with a mission. Any moment now, Keith would message him telling him all about their heroic take-down of the rebel cell.

Their time on Altea was coming to a close, and so their small group had decided to go on a picnic to the juniberry fields.

“They’re almost as beautiful as yours Lance.” Hunk says, weaving some of the flowers together.

Lance puffs his chest with pride, “I take my juniberries very seriously, they are my babies.”

Pidge snorts, but gratefully remains silent. They had been on the receiving end of too many of Lance’s plant related questions. Ones that they hadn’t been able to answer anyways.

“I shall have to visit!” Coran declares, “It has been much too long since I last travelled to earth!”

“You’d better be there for the wedding.” Shiro says. One of Hunk’s flower crowns rests on his head, and Curtis can’t stop giving him a look that says “I love you so much.”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Lance hands Hunk another flower, “Is Keith your best man?” He asks Shiro.

Shiro shrugs, “Well, technically I haven’t asked him yet, but yes.”

The sun has begun it’s descent and the whole world is lit in the warm glow of golden hour. Lance leans back as Hunk finishes the flower crown and places it gently on Pidge’s head. Pidge tries to swat it away, but grudgingly accepts after Hunk shoots them a pleading look. Lance gathers more flowers to hand to Hunk before adjusting his own flower crown. They would have to get a picture of all of them later. Absentmindedly, Lance imagines what Keith would look like in a flower crown. The pink of the flowers would contrast nicely with his dark hair. Lance can practically see him there with them. His violet eyes shining with mirth as he laughs at a joke.

Lance misses him a lot.

The conversation turns to weddings and Lance’s mind wanders. He had never really thought about marriage, but with Curtis and Shiro’s recent engagement it was hard not too. He wondered briefly if Keith wanted to get married. Had Keith ever thought about who his husband would be? Or what kind of person he wanted to marry? Lance wished he could ask him. He wanted to be somebody that Keith would want to marry.

Woah, slow down Lance, He chided himself, Keith doesn’t even know how you feel yet.

Again his hands find the note in his pocket. It’s gotten quite worn over the week, but the words are still legible. As soon as Lance sees Keith again, he’s going to give it to him. And then comes the terrifying moment where Keith could reject him. Despite the assurances of Pidge, Hunk and Shiro, Lance is still scared of that possibility.

He is jerked back to the present by the sound of a ship passing overhead. It happens all the time, so he almost doesn’t pay attention. That is until he notices that it’s a Blade ship. In a second, Lance is on his feet and running towards the landing pad.

Keith! Keith is back! Keith is here!

Distantly he realizes that the others are following him, but he doesn’t care as his feet fly through the field. His feet hit solid ground and he comes to a skidding halt just as the landing ramp of the Blade ship lowers.

He’s bouncing on the balls of his feet. Any second now he will be mauled by Kosmo and behind him Keith will be there, arms wide and welcoming. The ramp finally clunks to the ground as the others finally reach the landing pad. Lance runs forward to finally greet-

“Acxa?”

Lance tries not to show how much he deflates but it’s hard. Maybe Keith is still on the ship and he just decided to bring Acxa along.

“Lance.” She says, stepping off the ramp.

“Hey,” Lance replies, “Veronica’s not here, she had to stay on earth.”

“I am aware. I’m not here to see her.” Lance notices how Acxa’s shoulders are slumped and how her eyes are lit with grief.

Lance’s stomach sinks.

No.

“It’s Keith.”

No.

“What happened?” Shiro steps forwards, “Is he okay?”

No.

“It was a trap.”

No.

“There were no survivors.”

There is a roaring in Lance’s ears. He can’t hear anything except the wave of no, no, NO! He’s forgotten how to breathe, he can’t breathe. There’s no air and he can’t breathe. His chest is caving in on itself as the roaring just gets louder and louder. All he can see is Acxa with those grief filled eyes.

There were no survivors.

He runs.

Chapter Text

Three Years Ago

Keith had gone grocery shopping almost three hours ago and Lance is beginning to wonder what’s taking him so long. Over the past month he had grown accustomed to Keith’s presence in the house. It didn’t feel so big and gloomy anymore. Keith filled it with a life that Lance hadn’t realized the house was lacking. 

Keith wasn’t a loud presence, nor did he take up much space, but there was just something about him being there. He had never pressured Lance to talk or do anything that he wasn’t up to. He was simply there. And it was definitely a bonus that he did the dishes. 

But now Lance was getting antsy. The grocery store wasn’t that far away. Normally Lance and Keith would go together but today Lance just didn’t have the energy to interact with other people. So Keith had offered to go alone.

Three hours ago.

Maybe he had stopped in to visit Shiro, or Pidge. That must be it. Lance sighs and returns to folding laundry. He had discovered that doing the simple household chores helped him feel better. Just the act of getting something done, no matter how small, had improved his ability to handle bigger things. Once the small things were done, the bigger things didn’t seem so overwhelming any more. It was much simpler to wash one dish than an entire sink full of them.

He folds one of Keith’s shirts and adds it to the growing pile. Seriously, did the guy wear anything other than black? Maybe they should go shopping for clothes.

Lance halts at the thought. Clothes shopping is something he had no desire to do for a long time, but all of a sudden he was excited at the prospect.

He was getting better, he realized.

Keith was helping him get better. 

Here he was, sitting in the living room, folding laundry when a month ago he barely had energy to do his laundry. It was a small thing, but for Lance it felt monumental. 

Lance is so caught up in his thoughts that he doesn’t hear Keith until he enters the living room, laden with grocery bags.

“Oh!” Lance jumps off the couch and hops around the various piles of laundry to grab some of the bags from Keith. Keith grunts in thanks and together they enter the kitchen to put them away.

“So…” Lance says, opening the fridge to put the milk in, “What took you so long.”

Keith hands him the almond milk and says, “You’ll see.” 

Lance wrinkles his nose at the almond milk as he places it next to the regular, good and tasty, milk, “I don’t know how you stand this stuff.”

“I don’t exactly have a choice.” Keith replies, crossing his arms.

“But you eat ice cream?”

“I like to suffer.” Keith deadpans.

Lance tries to hold in his laugh, he really does, but soon he is doubled over and wheezing. Which is ridiculous because Keith didn’t say anything that funny, except it was because it was Keith.

When Lance finally gets control of his laughter, he sees Keith gazing at him with an indecipherable look.

“What?” He asks, still giggling slightly. Lance decides that the look Keith is giving him is awe.

“That’s- I haven’t heard you laugh like that in a long time.” Keith says it softly, almost reverently, and Lance feels a blush creep up his cheeks. 

“I- yeah… it’s been a while.” Lance says, almost sheepishly, “It felt good.”

“Can I show you what took me so long?” Keith asks suddenly, and his face is so open and eager.

Beautiful , his mind supplies and woah, where did that thought come from?

“Of course!” Lance says, shoving the traitorous thought away.

Keith grabs his arm and practically drags him to the front door and onto the porch. The day is pleasantly warm, but Lance doesn’t notice as he stares in awe at the item, or rather items sitting on the porch.

They’re little potted flowers, probably about fifty of them in total. But upon closer inspection, they’re not just any flowers.

They’re juniberries.

And suddenly Lance is sinking to the floor and sobbing. He pulls one of the little flowers close to his face and inhales it’s scent through his tears.

He hears Keith gasp and then he’s kneeling next to Lance, “Lance?” He says, his voice laced with concern, “Are these happy tears or sad tears?”

Lance lets out a wet chuckle, “They’re happy tears.”

Keith lets out a sigh of relief, “Good. Mrs Holt helped me with them, they’re from Altea but she said they’ll be compatible with earth soil. I thought we could-” Keith is cut off abruptly as Lance throws himself into his arms.

“Thank you.” Lance mumbles into his shoulder, and he wonders if this is what it feels like to be really, deeply loved.

Present Day

Lance runs until his lungs are burning but he still doesn’t stop. He doesn’t know what he’s running from, he just knows that he needs to keep moving. Keep feeling the burn in his lungs. Because once he stops he has to face the fact that it’s real.

It can’t be real. It can’t be.

His foot catches on a rock and he goes tumbling down a small hill. He hits the bottom with a thud that reverberates through his whole body, but he welcomes the pain. It’s better than the pain inside his chest. He tries to get to his feet again, but his legs give out beneath him and he collapses into the dirt again. His whole body aches and his lungs are still burning as he tries to suck in air. He realizes that it’s gotten dark out, with the stars twinkling above. He lays on his back and stares numbly at them.

And then he starts to cry.

The sobs are uncontrollable, racking through his whole body. He curls into himself as the tears run hot a fast down his numb face. He still can’t breathe. He’s shaking and his body is throbbing with pain but he doesn’t care.

Keith is gone.

Lance cries even harder.

He’s never felt pain as sharp as this before. When Allura died it had been an overwhelming numbness. Now it was an indescribable pain cutting him open and leaving him bleeding out.

Keith is gone.

The flight back to earth is quiet and somber. Lance, Shiro and Curtis had decided to fly together, but none of them speak a word to each other. 

In his haste to leave for Diabazaal, Keith hadn’t packed and as a result had left most of his stuff behind in what would have been his room. Lance had shamelessly raided his belongings, finding not only his jacket, but also his fingerless gloves. Lance had put on the gloves and hadn’t taken them off since.

He sits in the back of the ship, Keith’s jacket fisted in his lap, and tears silently slipping down his cheeks. He had no idea he was able to cry as much as he had in the past twenty-four hours. But the tears just keep coming with no end in sight. His head feels fuzzy, and he knows he should probably sleep, but every time he closes his eyes he sees explosions flashing across his vision.

Acxa had explained that the Blade crew was infiltrating the ship with the intent to discover where the rebel core’s base was, but the rebels had led them right into a trap. The ship had been blown to bits with the Blade crew still aboard. 

Lance brings the jacket to his face. It smells like Keith, and he inhales deeply. He can’t quite pinpoint what Keith smells like exactly, he just smells like Keith. 

“Lance?” Curtis says, tentatively, “We’re entering earth’s atmosphere now.”

Lance doesn’t respond, and thankfully Curtis doesn’t push him to. Lance has always liked Curtis, and he’s really glad that Shiro found a man as great as him. That Shiro got a second chance at love. That Shiro didn’t blow it by waiting too long.

That brings a fresh wave of tears.

It’s raining.

Of course it’s raining.

A wave of bitterness rises in Lance, so hot and fast that he has difficulty pushing it down. The universe had to be so freaking unfair. It had a personal vendetta against Lance.

Because how could he ever love the rain again after today?

There’s not very many people. The Paladins, Coran and Romelle, Kolivan and Krolia, and Ezor, Zethrid and Acxa. And of course the McClain family. Keith had basically been one of their own. 

Lance hasn’t bothered with his umbrella. He knows that his suit will probably be ruined, but he doesn’t care. His vision is blurred as the memorial proceeds, and he can’t focus on any of the words being said. Shiro had asked him if he wanted to speak and Lance had politely declined. He would just break down into a sobbing mess in front of everyone if he had tried to speak. He’s really been crying a lot these days.

The memorial is short and sweet, and honestly Lance doesn’t remember most of it. All he can comprehend is the feeling of finality it brings. There’s a stone now, engraved with Keith’s name on an empty plot because they didn’t even have a body to bury. 

Keith has a gravestone.

Keith isn’t coming back.

He goes through the motions. Follows the small group back to the McClain home where they have dinner together. The others spend hours reminiscing and remembering Keith. Honouring his memory, Veronica had said.

Lance hates it. 

Keith is gone.

Keith has a gravestone.

Keith isn’t coming back.

His dreams are fuzzy and senseless. He normally can’t make any sense of them, but tonight he sees Keith.

Keith is looking at him, his eyes wild and desperate. He’s yelling something but it’s muted and Lance can’t make it out. Keith looks scared, terrified really. He grabs Lance’s shoulders, still yelling but Lance can’t hear a word he’s saying.

“Keith,” Lance murmurs, brushing a hand lightly along his cheek, “I wish you didn’t have to die.”

The dream starts to fade but Lance can see Keith desperately shaking his head. He catches a few words before the dream disappears entirely.

“-ance! I’m not-”

Chapter Text

Veronica had moved in with him two days after they’d returned to earth.

“You shouldn’t be alone.” She had said. Lance had wanted to argue with her, but deep down he knew she was right. Being alone after Allura died had been what sent him into his spiral. Keith had pulled him out.

There were three bedrooms in the guest house. One of them, the master, Lance had taken over when he moved in. Veronica moved into the one just at the top of the stairs, leaving the room between hers and Lance’s empty. They both knew why she didn’t take that room, but neither voiced it.

It had been Keith’s. 

Technically it was just one of the guest rooms in the guest house. But it had also been the room that Keith had stayed in every time he visited Lance. Which was quite frequently. It had gotten to the point where Keith had just permanently left some of his clothing there for when he visited. Clothing which Lance may or may not have raided.

Veronica, gratefully, didn’t say anything about Lance’s new affinity for black clothing and fingerless gloves. She also never said anything about finding Lance curled up in Keith’s bed on more than one occasion.

He missed Keith.

He missed Keith with every ounce of his being. Sometimes the pain would hit him so hard that he would double over, struggling to breathe. Most of the time it was a dull ache.

A lot of the time it was regret.

He never told Keith how he felt. And now Keith was gone.

He would never see Keith’s smile again. He would never see the way Keith’s eyes light up when he talked about the relief missions the Blade had been running. He would never hear Keith laugh at one of his stupid jokes. He would never get the opportunity to tell Keith how he felt. He had waited too long and now Keith was gone.

He can’t help the tears that start rolling down his cheeks. He’s sitting on the seat in the bay window staring out at the juniberry fields. The ones that Keith had helped him plant. The spring sunshine is streaming through the window, making Lance almost uncomfortably warm, but he refuses to take off the red flannel he’s wearing. It was Keith’s, and even though his scent has faded from it in the past month, Lance still wears it. Just like he still wears those fingerless gloves. 

“Lance?” Veronica tentatively takes a seat next to him, “It’s a beautiful day out, do you want to go for a walk?”

“No.”

“Lance,” Veronica’s voice takes on a pleading tone, “Just for a few moments. It will do you good to get out of the house.”

“I said no.”

“But-”

“Vero, please just drop it.”

Veronica sighs, but she drops the conversation. After a few moments she moves away, leaving Lance alone at the window seat once more.

He’s been having the same kind of dreams almost every night for the past month. He can’t tell where he is, all the details of the environment around him are blurred. It’s dark, that’s all he knows. The only clear thing in the room is Keith. This time Keith is sitting with his knees drawn up to his chest. Lance sits down opposite of him, mirroring his position. Keith gazes blankly at him for a moment, then his mouth moves forming words that Lance cannot hear.

“I’m sorry.” Lance says, his eyes stinging with tears.

Keith’s shoulders slump and he lowers his head to his knees.

Lance contemplates what to do for a moment, then he reaches forward and places a hand on Keith’s. Keith flinches violently away from him, his eyes filled with panic. For a few seconds they just stare at each other, Keith’s chest heaving, his eyes wild. Then his eyes clear and his face crumples. Lance can only watch in shock as tears start rolling down Keith’s cheeks. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen Keith cry before, but here he is, angrily scrubbing at the tears.

Lance has never been able to hear anything Keith has said in these dreams, and he has no idea what the dreams mean or why he has them, but in this moment it feels real . So real that Lance pulls Keith in for a tight hug. Keith is trembling and his hands are hesitant, but he returns the hug and cries into Lance’s shoulder. Lance raises one of his hands to card through Keith’s hair, and he momentarily gets distracted by how soft it is. He wonders if real Keith’s hair is as soft as dream Keith’s hair.

Then he remembers that real Keith is gone.

He holds Dream Keith tighter, wishing with all his heart that it was real.

After a while, Keith pulls back pining Lance with those brilliant eyes of his. Lance knows Keith well enough to see the idea forming in those eyes. Slowly, deliberately, Keith raises his hand-

And spells.

Lance wakes with a start. It’s getting dark out and he has no idea how long he’d been asleep for. Quickly he scrambles off the seat and practically flees up the stairs. He knows he left his phone in his room somewhere. But where? He hasn’t touched it in days, but he vaguely remembers seeing it on the chair next to the window. 

He hears Veronica calling him from elsewhere in the house, but he doesn’t care because there’s his phone, hiding underneath the chair. He must have knocked it off. He kneels on the floor, holding his phone almost reverently as he unlocks it and quickly pulls up an internet search.

“Lance! What the-” Veronica arrives in his room, concern colouring her voice, “What are you doing?”

“He was trying to spinger fell.” Lance breathes.

“...what?”

“Finger spell.” Lance corrects himself, “He was fingerspelling.”

“ Who? ”

Lance finds what he was looking for and quickly downloads the pictures. The Fingerspelling alphabet.

“Lance,” Veronica grabs his shoulder, then recoils, “What- why is your shoulder wet?”

“Huh?” Lance looks at his shoulder and places a tentative hand there. It was wet. That had been right where Keith had placed his head when Lance had hugged him. That had been right where Keith had cried.

Keith had cried on his shoulder in the dream.

Two and a Half Years Ago

Lance had known Keith would have to leave eventually. He didn’t expect Keith to be a permanent fixture in his life, but that didn’t stop him from hoping.

“You could just… not go?” Lance offers feebly as he watches Keith pack. He is sitting on the end of Keith’s bed, fiddling with the blanket. The window is open, letting in the cooling autumn air. 

Keith sighs, “I can’t, I’ve already spent enough time away.” He throws another t-shirt into his duffel bag followed by a red flannel. He’s not even bothering to fold his clothes properly, the heathen. Lance scoffs and slides off the bed to grab the shirt and flannel, folding them nicely before replacing them in the duffel bag. 

“You’d have more space in here if you just folded your clothes.”

Keith shrugs, “I’m just gonna unpack again when I get to Diabazaal.”

Lance deflates. Because that’s why Keith is packing. He’s leaving tomorrow to go to Diabazaal and work on a mission for the Blade, and Lance is going to stay here on the farm. Keith will be gone for who knows how long, and the whole time Lance will be here all alone.

He doesn’t want to be alone again. 

“Hey,” Keith must have seen the distress on his face because he drops the clothes he’s holding and pulls Lance in for a hug, “I’ll be back. I won’t be gone forever.”

Lance returns the hug, hiding his tears in Keith’s shoulder. They do this a lot now, the hugging. It’s still relatively new, but Lance likes it. Keith gives good hugs.

“You can call me anytime Lance. I’m here for you, okay?”

“You promise?” Lance asks, and he hates how small and broken his voice sounds.

Keith pulls back just far enough to look Lance in the eyes.

“I promise.” He says, and his eyes are filled with sincerity and warmth and-

Love, his brain supplies but Lance pushes the thought away.

“I’ll come back Lance. I will always come back.”

Present Day

Veronica helps Lance learn how to fingerspell. 

She’d been a little taken aback when Lance explained why, but she didn’t ask any pressing questions. She was simply patient with him as they practiced running through and memorizing the alphabet and then spelling simple words to each other. It’s a nice distraction when Lance doesn’t think about why he’s learning to fingerspell.

Because Keith had cried on his shoulder in the dream and when Lance had woken up his shoulder had still been wet.

Because Keith had tried to communicate to him through fingerspelling and Lance hadn’t understood it. 

He still wasn’t quite sure what it meant. He had barely let himself hope, but he couldn’t help the thought that had plagued him. 

Could Keith be alive?

He didn’t dare dwell on that hope.

But he learned how to fingerspell because he desperately wanted to know what Dream Keith had been trying to say.

It had been three days since the dream, and there had yet to be another occurrence. Lance wasn’t concerned. The dreams weren’t a nightly thing. As far as he could tell there was no rhyme or reason to them. They simply happened when they happened. And so Lance practiced his fingerspelling.

And he waited.

As soon as Keith lays eyes on him, he starts to cry. Lance hadn’t been expecting that, but in three short steps he has Keith wrapped in his arms and he’s running a soothing hand up and down Keith’s back. 

Lance can’t hear anything, but from the way Keith’s shoulders are moving, he can tell that Keith is heaving big choking sobs. It breaks Lance’s heart a little (a lot) and he wonders what would be the cause of these tears. Whatever it is, Lance wants to fight it. 

He continues to run his hand up and down Keith’s spine until his sobbing subsides and the shaking stops. But Keith still holds on, he clings to Lance like a lifeline. Lance hates to do it, but he might wake up any second so time is of the essence. He gently untangles himself from Keith, mourning the loss of his embrace. Keith’s eyes are distressed, but quickly light when he sees what Lance is doing.

K-E-I-T-H

Keith’s lips part in a silent “oh” and then he’s raising his hand and fingerspelling back.

L-A-N-C-E

He spells slowly, waits for Lance to understand before continuing.

I A-M A-L-I-V-E

Chapter Text

Lance doesn’t know what to do. Veronica is the only one that knows about his attempts to communicate with Dream Keith, but even she was a little skeptical. Lance figures she only helped him because she was grateful he was actually doing something. He doesn’t want to tell Shiro and get his hopes up. He doesn’t want to get his own hopes up. But he can’t get the image of Keith spelling those three words out of his mind.

I A-M A-L-I-V-E

Lance had woken immediately after that, and proceeded to write down everything he remembered about the dream. He wishes he’d paid more attention to his surroundings for some sort of clue as to Keith’s whereabouts. Because if Keith really was alive, the next step was to find him. If he really was alive, he’d been gone for a month. But where? Lance had no doubt in his mind that Keith had somehow been captured. That was the only logical explanation for why Keith hadn’t returned already, and for why Keith looked so sad and broken in the dreams. For why he’d cried.

Lance needed to find Keith, and find him fast.

A month. It had been a month.

Lance feels sick to his stomach, but he still has no idea what to do. He has no idea where to even begin. The universe is a big place, and he seriously needs some help if he’s going to locate Keith.

Lance’s hands are shaking as he picks up his phone. Who could he contact? He’d already decided against telling Shiro, and the rest of the Paladins for that matter. But who did that leave? 

Krolia.

If anyone could find Keith, it would be Krolia. Not only was she one of the leaders of the Galra Empire, she was also Keith’s mother. Lance’s hands are shaking as he pulls up her contact to type a message. He ponders over what to say, but eventually decides to be upfront with her.

Lance: I think Keith might be alive.

He huffs a laugh at himself. He normally never capitalizes anything when he texts, but he’d felt the need to be formal with Krolia. Probably because she was Keith’s mother, and he wanted to impress her. He wanted to prove to her that he was worthy of Keith. Her response comes much quicker than Lance had anticipated.

Krolia: Why?

Not what he’d expected, but he can work with this. In as short as terms as possible, he explains the situation to Krolia, waiting with bated breath for her answer. After ten minutes pass without one, Lance decides he needs to go do something or he’ll go crazy waiting for her reply. So he gets out of bed and gathers his things for a shower. 

Lance takes a long time in the shower, savouring the feel of the hot water. It’s calming his nerves, but he can still feel anticipation coiling in his gut. The feeling that he should be doing something instead of wasting time in the shower. He firmly reminds himself that he’s doing all he can at the moment. He just needs to wait for Krolia’s response.

What if she doesn’t believe he’s alive?

Lance’s blood runs cold. What will he do if Krolia doesn’t believe it? He grits his teeth and turns the water off abruptly. Nothing will keep him from finding Keith. If Krolia doesn’t want to help, then that’s her problem. He will do whatever it takes. He will search every planet in the universe until he finds Keith. He will never stop trying to find him.

Because he loves Keith.

Two Years Ago

Keith has been gone for almost six months. They talk almost daily, with Keith occasionally having to go offline for a few days for a mission. He’s endlessly busy and hasn’t had a spare second to come to Earth.

Lance tries not to feel resentful, but he’s missing Keith a lot more than he thought he would. He remembers the first time Keith left for the Blade of Marmora all those years ago with Voltron. He had been so bitter and angry then. Mad at Keith for leaving, mad at himself for not being good enough to convince Keith to stay. 

Pidge and Matt have come to visit and Lance tries to put his thoughts to the side in order to be present for the conversation.

“-yeah that was crazy.” Matt was saying, “I can’t believe we survived that battle. If Lotor hadn’t shown up when he did…” Matt trails off, looking at Lance.

“What?” Lance asks. They are sitting on the porch, each with a cup of green tea, enjoying the early spring sunshine. They’d been reminiscing on some of their crazier feats with Voltron when the Battle of Naxela came up.

Pidge glances between Matt and Lance, confusion on their face, “Yeah Matt, what?”

Matt suddenly looks very uncomfortable, “Wow Lance,” He says abruptly, “Those juniberry fields sure are great, when do you think the flowers will bloom?”

“Matt.” It’s not a question, and Matt looks sheepishly at Lance.

“You guys don’t know.” He says, “He made me promise not to tell.”

“Tell what?” Pidge growls. They pin Matt with their infamous glare and he withers.

“Okay, but you have to promise not to tell.”

“Tell who? Matt-” 

“ Keith.” Matt interrupts Lance, “You can’t tell Keith that I told you okay?”

Silently Pidge and Lance both nod. Lance’s mind was whirring at a hundred miles per hour. What happened at Naxela that Keith insisted be kept a secret? Keith had been with the Blade then and had done plenty of stupid dangerous things, but the whiteness on Matt’s face says that this was worse.

“He uh-” Matt begins, then swallows thickly, “We couldn’t break through the barrier around the ship. We were running out of time and Keith he- he was going to fly his ship into the barrier to break it. He would have if Lotor hadn’t shown up.”

Lance doesn’t know when he started shaking, but he can’t control it. His tea sloshes out of the cup and Pidge gently takes it from him. Keith had almost flown his ship into- Keith had almost sacrificed himself to save them. To save him. 

Lance thinks he’s going to be sick.

“Why?” Pidge sounds just as distressed as Lance feels.

“We talked afterwards.” Matt replies, his voice small, “He said it was a Blade thing. The mission is bigger than they are. It’s more important.”

Lance is definitely going to be sick. He stumbles from his seat and launches himself through the front door. He barely makes it to the bathroom before the contents of his stomach make a reappearance.

He’s shaking and sweaty all over, and he can hear Matt and Pidge talking to him in soothing voices. They help him clean off his face, and guide him to the couch. One of them gets him a glass of water. Lance holds it in shaking hands, but he doesn’t drink.

“I’m sorry.” Matt says, “I really thought he would have told you guys by now.”

“Well he didn’t.” Pidge’s voice is sharp, “Next time I see him, I’m going to kick his butt.”

“I’m going to kick Kolivan’s butt.” Lance mutters, “Making Keith believe that a mission is more important than his life.”

The three of them fall silent for a beat, then-

“I’ll help you.” Matt’s eyes are blazing.

The rest of the afternoon is spent on topics that carefully don’t include Keith or the Blade. Lance feels drained, and he’s almost grateful when Pidge and Matt leave with a promise to visit as soon as possible. The moment they’re out the door, Lance is pulling out his phone and calling Keith.

It’s an impossibly long wait before Keith picks up.

“Hey,” He says, his voice groggy.

“Promise me you won’t sacrifice yourself for a mission.” 

“...Lance, what are you-”

“Keith! Just promise!”

Keith is silent for several moments and Lance can feel his breaths coming fast and sharp. He thinks he might be panicking again.

“Okay.” Keith’s voice is soft, “I promise.”

Lance lets out a sigh of relief, “Thank you.”

“Can I ask why you’re calling me in the middle of the night to ask me this?” Keith’s voice has an edge to it, he must guess why Lance is asking.

Crap, Matt made him promise not to tell Keith. Lance could be honest and explain that the idea of Keith dying, the idea of Keith thinking his life isn’t more important than some mission makes him want to vomit again, and that he has no idea how he’d live with himself if Keith ever died. But those are confusing feelings that Lance isn’t too sure what to do with. All he knows is that his whole world would stop if Keith dies. But he can’t say that.

“It’s not the middle of the night for me.” He says instead, “I didn’t realize. I’m sorry.”

Lance can hear Keith’s breathy chuckle and wonders what it would feel like against his cheek and what the heck where did that thought come from?

“It’s okay, I wasn’t asleep yet.” Keith’s voice goes even softer, “Do you need to talk?”

Lance’s heart constricts almost painfully in his chest, “Yes.”

The call ends up being almost three hours long.

Present Day

Lance wonders if he should tell Veronica. She’s sitting next to him at the kitchen island and it would be so easy for him to open his mouth and say “ Hey I think Keith’s actually alive and now I have to go find him.” but the words get caught in his throat. He already told Krolia and some part of him is terrified that if he tells another person it won’t be real anymore. He’s still waiting for Krolia’s response. He’ll tell Veronica once Krolia responds he decides. 

He tries to distract himself with menial chores. He starts a load of laundry, he cleans out the fridge, he vacuums all the bedrooms upstairs. He’s in the middle of cleaning the half bath on the main floor when his phone dings. Lance drops the toilet brush into the toilet bowl and dives for his phone. He had it on the counter playing music and he almost drops it in the sink in his excitement.

Krolia: I believe you. I’m coming to Earth, I will be there in two days. We can discuss further. 

Lance sinks to the floor, clutching the phone close to his chest. Krolia believes him. Krolia was coming here to help Lance find a way to save Keith. They were going to find Keith and save him.

Keith wasn’t gone.

His phone dings again.

Krolia: If you have any more dreams try to get more information from him.

And yeah, Lance can do that.

Chapter Text

Lance doesn’t have to wait long for another dream. That night, almost as soon as his head hits the pillow, he’s in that room with Keith again.

As soon as Keith sees Lance, he lights up. His shoulders seem to sag with relief and Lance pulls him in for a hug. He still can’t hear anything, but he can feel Keith breathing against his neck. After a moment Lance pulls away and sits. Keith follows suit.

“Can you hear me?” Lance asks, and Keith gives him a blank look. Lance raises his hand and-

Keith flinches. 

Lance’s heart breaks. He’s being hurt. Someone is hurting him. He reaches forwards with his left hand, slowly and cautiously, palm open wide. Tentatively, Keith places his hand in Lance’s. His grip is strong, bordering on uncomfortable but Lance doesn’t let go. He doesn’t ever want to let go of Keith ever again.

He slowly raises his right hand again, and Keith’s eyes follow it.

I-M C-O-M-I-N-G F-O-R Y-O-U

Keith’s eyes widen, but he doesn’t respond so Lance continues.

W-H-A-T H-A-P-P-E-N-E-D

He sees Keith sigh and then he raises his right hand to respond. It takes a long time for the message to come across with fingerspelling, but from what he gathered Keith had been caught and drugged on the ship. When he woke up he was here.

W-H-E-R-E I-S H-E-R-E, Lance asks.

Keith looks at Lance then, and Lance is blown away by the hopelessness in his eyes.

I D-O-N-T K-N-O-W

Lance tells him that it’ll be okay, they will find a way to find him. But there’s still a dejected slump to Keith’s shoulders as he hangs his head. Lance can see tears beginning to form. He’s seen Keith cry more in the past week then he ever has, and Lance decides that he hates it with a burning passion.

“Hey,” He says, even though he knows Keith can’t hear it. He brushes a hand across Keith’s cheek, wiping away some of the tears. And because Keith isn’t looking at him and won't know what he’s saying, he says the words he’s been holding back.

“I love you.”

Lance had half expected some magic thing to occur. Declaration of true love and whatnot, just like the fairytales. But nothing happens. He can’t suddenly hear Keith. His surroundings aren’t suddenly clearer.

But that’s okay, because he’s going to find Keith. He’s going to bring Keith back.

He pulls Keith into another hug as he whispers his love.

Lance wakes with tears in his eyes. 

Krolia arrives with Acxa at her side. At the sight of Acxa, Veronica lets out a strained gasp and runs into her arms. Lance leaves the two of them to their reunion as he lets Krolia into the house. He uses the excuse that he doesn’t want his eyes burned by their grossly sweet love, but really he’s jealous. 

He could’ve had that with Keith.

No, he firmly tells himself, I will have that with Keith.

He would rescue Keith and bring him back here. Bring him back home.

“It’s sweet.” Krolia says, watching Veronica and Acxa through the window, “They come from such different worlds and yet they found each other.” Her voice carries a fondness and Lance remembers the story Keith told him about how his mother and father fell in love. 

“Yes,” Lance agrees and takes a seat at the bay window, purposefully putting the happy couple out of his view. Krolia takes a seat on the couch, all business.

“Have you discovered anything else.”

Lance shakes his head, “He was drugged. He doesn’t remember much else and he has no idea where he is.” 

Krolia takes a deep breath, “Okay.” She says, “Okay, we can work with that.”

“Work with what?” Lance says, his tone a little snappish, “That’s nothing.”

Krolia raises her eyebrow, “I wouldn’t say a mental link with my son is nothing.” She says. And oh she’s right. Lance hadn’t even thought about that. For some reason, he and Keith were sharing a mental link, and if they could figure out how it worked, they might be able to find Keith.

“Holy-” He mutters, “Could someone tap into my head? Maybe find Keith that way?”

Krolia shrugs, “I do know of a group of people who could potentially help.” She says it almost hesitantly, “It’s a long shot, but I’m willing to try.”

Her eyes ask the question, are you?

For Keith? “I’ll do anything.”

Acxa protests being left behind, but Krolia is unbending.

“The less people that go, the better.” Krolia says, “I think it would be best if it was just me and Lance.”

“Krolia,” Acxa’s voice is stern, “Keith is my friend too.”

Krolia’s gaze softens, “I know. I’m sorry.” She pulls Acxa in for a hug and from where Lance is standing he can see her whisper something to Acxa. When they pull away, Acxa nods and steps away from the ship. Lance wonders what Krolia said.

“Be careful.” Veronica punches Lance lightly in the arm, “Mom would kill me if I let you go die in space.”

“I will Vero.” Lance replies, “I promise.”

Veronica’s eyes are fierce when she looks at him, “Bring him back Lance.”

Lance swallows thickly, “I will.”

Then Veronica is hugging him and Lance is in serious danger of crying. He clings tightly to his sister and thanks her. He’s so thankful to her for being with him the past month. For dropping everything to help him. For pushing back when he wanted her to go away. For learning from when Allura died. He never resented his family for that. He had given them pretty much no choice in the matter when he said he’d wanted to be left alone. 

“Love you kiddo.” She says when she pulls away.

Lance almost chokes on the words, “Love you too.”

Veronica laughs, “War made you soft.” there’s no bite to her words, just fondness.

Lance flashes the signature Lance McClain smile, and turns to join Krolia in the ship. He drops his bag in the back and strolls slowly to the cockpit. He’s been in space since the war ended of course. That’s the only way for him to get to New Altea and back. But this time feels different. He’s not just traveling. He’s going on a mission. He’s wearing Blade armor and he has weapons. He’s ready for a fight, itching for one actually. And he realizes that he missed this. He missed the thrum of energy that runs through his veins at the prospect of a battle, at the idea of flying. He doesn’t miss the war, but he does miss the adventures in space.

“Do you want to fly?” Krolia asks.

Lance gapes at her in wonder because yes, yes he wants to fly so badly that he can’t quite put it into words. Instead he nods dumbly at her. She chuckles and gestures to the pilot’s seat. Slowly, almost reverently Lance sits down and places his hands on the controls. He feels that thrum of energy again and he’s almost shaking with excitement.

He missed this.

One Year Ago

There’s so many weeds. Why are there so many weeds? They never end. As soon as Lance pulls one, he finds ten more waiting for him. Lance sits back on his heels, dragging a hand across his forehead. Judging by the sun's position it must be nearly noon, which means Lance has been weeding for the better part of three hours. Lance gets to his feet, his muscles groaning in protest. Slowly he stumbles towards the house and in through the screen door. He had the foresight this morning to stick a pitcher of water in the fridge and he gratefully pulls it out to gulp down two glasses of water. 

The day is only going to get hotter from here on out, so Lance decides that he’s done weeding for now. It’s not like he won’t have time later this week to finish. All he has is time. Lately that has been making him antsy. When the war had first ended he’d been okay with his simple life on the farm, but after two years he found himself wondering more often than not if there was something more for him. 

His gaze falls to the letter on the island. He had opened it a few days ago, and hadn’t really looked at it since. He didn’t know what to say. He was flattered obviously, but at the same time it was overwhelming. 

The Garrison wanted him to teach. 

If he was being honest with himself, it was probably Shiro’s idea. But he wouldn’t lie and say he wasn’t happy with the offer. The more he thought about it, the more he wanted to teach. He could help those kids at the Garrison, the ones who were just like him, who had stars in their eyes and dreams of glory. Lance picked up the letter again, weighing it in his hands. He hadn’t said yes yet because he’d wanted to talk to others about it. He’d already talked to his parents and siblings, and they all thought it was a fantastic idea. 

He was just waiting to hear from Keith. But of course he had to be on a mission at the moment, which left Lance with radio silence. But he could wait. For Keith he would always wait.

Lance set the letter down.

He was filthy , he realized. His clothes were covered in dirt and his forearms were three shades darker than his skin tone. Lance chuckled at himself and decided a shower was in order.

Half an hour later, freshly showered and in clean clothes, Lance began prepping his lunch. He pulled the leftovers from last night's family dinner out of the fridge and stuck them in the microwave. It had been his parents' wedding anniversary and so every single member of the McClain family had crammed into the farmhouse to celebrate their love. Lance loved the family gatherings with all their noise and chaos. He wouldn’t have it any other way.

His favourite part of the night had been when his parents recounted their love story to the family.

“I hadn’t even realized I was in love with him until I’d already fallen.” His mother had said, gazing fondly at his father.

Lance had always loved their story. How they’d been best friends since childhood, always leaning on each other and relying on each other. Sure, they’d had their rocky moments, but in the end it had always been the two of them. They were a team and they’d stood together through thick and thin. It was only natural that they’d fall in-

Lance froze.

“Holy-”

He was in love with Keith.

He was in love with Keith!

The microwave beeped, but Lance ignored it. He was having an earth shaking revelation.

He was in love with Keith. 

And he had been in love with Keith for a long time. 

Lance feels dizzy, and he sinks to his knees. Suddenly so many things are clicking into place.

Keith and his beautiful eyes. Keith and his stupid hair. Keith and his kindness. Keith and his softness. Keith and his loyalty. Keith and his leadership. Keith and his ability to say the right thing at the right time. Keith and the fact that he had always been there for Lance. 

Keith.

Keith.

Lance was hopelessly in love with Keith.

Chapter Text

I-M S-O T-I-R-E-D, Keith tells him the next time he has a dream. Lance knows he doesn’t mean physically tired, because if the dreams work the same way for Keith, he’s asleep right now.

No, Keith means mentally tired, emotionally tired. Lance can see it in his eyes. In the way the light has gone out of them. He sees it in the slump of Keith’s shoulders, and the permanent frown etched on his face.

Instead of responding, Lance just pulls Keith closer, into his lap. He cradles Keith close and cards his fingers through his hair. Keith clings to him, his fists bunched in Lance’s shirt. He’s trembling. Lance murmurs soothing words, even though he knows Keith can’t hear them. He presses a gentle kiss to Keith’s forehead, but doesn’t move away afterwards. He stays close, just holding Keith.

“I’m coming for you.” He whispers, “I love you.”

He thinks Keith might have pressed a soft kiss to his shoulder before he wakes up.

It takes Lance and Krolia five days to reach the Kah’Lan people. Lance still has no idea who they are or what they do, but he’s willing to trust Krolia, and honestly this is the only lead he has. 

Krolia lands the ship outside a city that is almost blinding with its light. In the bright sun, it almost hurts to look at it, but Lance can’t tear his gaze away. The soaring buildings and bridges give the city a light and airy feel. It’s nestled on a cliff, with sparkling ocean surrounding it on three sides, and soaring mountains on the fourth. Everything seems too bright, too shiny, too perfect.

It’s almost unnerving.

Lance and Krolia are greeted by the most flawless creature Lance has ever seen. Their face is perfectly symmetrical, there’s not a single blemish on their skin, and not a single hair out of place. They stand almost eight feet tall with an impressive pair of wings sprouting from their back. Again Lance feels unnerved. They’re too perfect.

“Krolia.” Their voice is even perfect, smooth and honeyed. Lance notices that their eyes are gold. They exchange a handshake with Krolia and then extends their hand towards Lance. Lance takes it, searching for an imperfection in their skin, but to no avail. It’s a few shades darker than his own and their hand is probably the softest thing he’s ever touched.

“Come.” The being, angel Lance’s mind supplies, says. They turn and begin striding towards the city. Krolia follows without hesitation, but it takes Lance a few more seconds to get his feet working again. 

They pass through the city and Lance pinpoints why it’s unnerving. 

It’s dead silent.

There’s other beings, all as perfect as the first, but they pass through the city without making a sound. None of them cough or sniffle, their feet don’t make a sound as they walk. They don’t talk with each other, seeming to prefer to gaze intently into each other's eyes instead. The more they travel through the city, the more unnerved Lance feels. There’s so many beings, and yet not one single sound. None of them bother to look at Lance and Krolia as they pass. He almost feels like he is a ghost.

At long last they reach their destination. They are standing on a balcony that overlooks the cliff and the ocean far below. The being turns to look at them.

“The Aelle will be with you shortly.” They say, before turning to walk away.

Lance tries to keep silent, he really does, but he can’t help himself.

“Where the heck are we?” 

Krolia’s mouth quirks in a small smile, “They are a strange people aren’t they?” She says, “But they also have abilities beyond what us normal folk can understand. This city is a weak spot in our reality, allowing the Kah’Lan people to view others.”

Lance’s mouth drops open, “They can visit other realities?”

“Not visit.” A voice interrupts, “Simply view.”

Lance turns to the sound of the voice and is greeted by another one of those flawless beings. But this one has skin that is too pale, and hair that is too golden.

“I am the Aelle.” They say, “I believe you are trying to locate someone?”

“Yes,” Krolia steps forward, “I’m trying to find my son.”

The Aelle smiles, and Lance is almost blinded by their teeth, “Of course. And you brought his soulmate with you?” They gesture to Lance, who brilliantly turns around. Upon discovering that there is no one behind him, Lance turns back to the Aelle.

“Me?” He squeaks.

The Aelle cocks their head, “You did not know.” They raise an eyebrow at Krolia.

“It was a hunch.” Krolia responds.

The Aelle smiles softly at Lance, and Lance?

Well Lance is confused.

“I- he- we- what?” Lance sputters. Soulmates? He and Keith are soulmates? He and Keith are soulmates. He has so many questions, so many thoughts.

“Soulmates exist?” He blurts.

The Aelle gives another soft smile that looks almost condescending, “Yes.” They say, “And you, Lance McClain are the soulmate of Keith Kogane.” 

“You knew?” Lance turns to Krolia.

“Like I said,” Krolia shrugs, “It was a hunch.”

The Aelle extends their hand towards Lance, “Let me show you.” They say, and after a moment of hesitation he takes it.

Lance is standing in a very familiar hallway, filled with very familiar orange jackets. There’s a crowd of students, children really, around him. They pass by him without giving him a second glance, even though he knows he must stand out in his Blade armour. 

“That Keith guy is so annoying!” He hears a voice say, and he turns slowly to the source of it.

“He can’t be that bad?” And there’s Hunk. Except it’s not. He’s smaller, his cheeks still rounded with baby fat. And standing next to Hunk… is Lance.

It’s Lance at fourteen years old, before he’d hit his growth spurt. Lance almost forgot how short he used to be. His face is so small and so young and Lance honestly can’t believe that used to be him.

“Just because he’s so good at flying, doesn’t mean he can be all,” Little Lance waves his hand around, “aloof like that.”

“What if he’s not?” Hunk, always a saint, “What if he’s just shy?”

Little Lance snorts, “Yeah right. He’s just got a stick up his butt. Well you know what? He’s my rival!”

“Rival?” Little Hunk squeaks.

“Yep,” Little Lance puffs his chest out, “ I’m gonna be the best fighter pilot at the Garrison, and I’m gonna beat Keith to do it.”

“Nope. No you- No, no, no, no, no, no, no you don’t. I’m saving Shiro.”

“Who are you?”

“Who am I? Uh the name’s Lance.”

Lance had thought Keith had been giving him a blank stare all those years ago, but staring at it now he realizes it’s more of a panicked stare. Lance cocks his head, why on earth was Keith panicked? 

“I messed up Shiro!” Keith is pacing back and forth, and wow he looks young. Lance had known that they were young when they joined Voltron, but looking back at it he can really see it. They’re practically babies.

“How?” Shiro asks, settling back on the couch in the old lounge room back on the Castle of Lions.

“I panicked and pretended not to know who he was!” Keith throws his hands in the air, “And now he’s invented some stupid rivarly between us.”

“...you could just tell him that?” Shiro suggests.

“No. Absolutely not.” Keith crosses his arms, “I’d never hear the end of it.”

The lights from the healing pod are the only thing illuminating the room. Lance can see himself in the pod, and sitting at its base is Keith, fast asleep.

“And Lance? Leave the math to Pidge.”

The door slides closed and Keith takes a deep breath. He pulls his knife from its sheath and stares at it for several moments. He sits on his bed and lets out a deep sigh, then pulls out his communicator.

“I need to speak to Kolivan.”

Lance remembers this moment. He wishes he doesn’t, but it happened and he can’t change it. The doors slide closed, cutting Keith off from the rest of the team. Sending him off to the Blade of Marmora, and Lance watches as Little Lance storms off, a whirlwind of anger and hurt. He hadn’t understood why it had hurt so much then.

He does now.

“I don’t have time for this Lance!”

“Hey everybody, Keith’s back!”

Lance remembers this one too. How could he ever forget.

“Man, you can be a real hard guy to find when you want to be.” He remembers feeling the blinding need to find Keith, to talk to Keith. He had been so nervous about his date for Allura and Keith had always been a calming presence for him.

“Hey Lance. Woah!” Keith’s face the second time around is just as funny, except now Lance can really appreciate it because he’s not a pot of nerves over Allura, “What are you wearing?”

Younger Lance sighs and takes a seat next to Keith, “Coran made it for me, for my date with Allura.”

“A date with Allura?” Lance is hyper fixated on Keith’s face and he doesn’t miss the disappointment that flashes across it. It’s a miniscule moment, gone before it was even there, “Wow. Well done Lance.”

“Thanks, but it could be our last.” Younger Lance looks horribly disappointed and older Lance is freaking out because how could he have been so blind! Keith is right there ! “I can’t keep all these Altean customs straight.”

“Listen, if she’s going out with you it means she likes you.” Keith says, “The annoying, stupid Earth version of you.”

Both Lance’s chuckle. He knows that Keith doesn’t mean it, it’s just his way of showing love.

“You watching the sun set?” Showing love? Wait, does this mean-

“Yeah, it might be a while before we get to see it again.” Lance scrutinizes Keith’s face, looking for a clue.

“Man, I’m really gonna miss this place.”

“That’s why we have to end this war. And we’re gonna do it with the Lance that’s the Paladin of the Red Lion. The Lance that’s always got my back. The Lance that knows exactly who he is, and what he’s got to offer.” Keith looks at him then and Lance is blown away by the love he sees in his eyes. How had he missed it before? How on earth had he gone on a date with Allura when Keith was sitting there looking at him like that? He had been so blind.

He wasn’t blind anymore.

He watches as younger Lance and Keith gaze at the sun for a little while longer before Lance says, “Thanks man.”

“Anytime. Good luck.”

Younger Lance gets up to leave and Keith watches him go, a wistful look in his eyes. Lance moves to stand in front of him, and almost wishes he hadn’t.

Keith looks like he’s barely holding himself together. He lets out a shaky breath and looks up at the sky, blinking furiously, then puts his head in his hands.

He’s trying not to cry.

Lance realizes then that he’d inadvertently broken Keith’s heart. He wants to reach through time and space and wipe away the tear that slowly trails down Keith’s cheek. He wants to take away the pain. The pain that had been caused by Lance himself.

He had been so blind.

The rest of the memories pass by in a blur. He sees his and Allura’s relationship, but this time through Keith’s eyes. He sees the pain and heartbreak it caused. The conflict, because all Keith wanted was for Lance to be happy.

And yet, despite his broken heart, Keith had been the first one to comfort Lance after Allura’s death. Keith had been the one that pulled Lance back from the blankness. Keith had been there through thick and thin.

It makes Lance love him even more.

Lance is standing in a dark place when he hears the Aelle’s voice echoing around him, “Your story is a long and complex one, and it is one that is not over yet. We have been watching you for quite some time. Because not only are you soulmates in this reality, you are soulmates in every other reality as well.”

Scenes start to flash by Lance, almost too fast for him to comprehend.

Keith is wearing a red flannel with a camera around his neck while he scales a cliff. Lance is nervously watching him with what looks like a group of tourists.

Lance strolls into a shop filled with plants and other strange things and Keith is sitting behind the counter levitating little lights.

Lance realizes that these are the other realities.

Keith is the star football player of the high school and Lance has a hopeless crush on him.

Keith is a dancer and Lance gets roped into dancing with him for a competition.

Keith is a prince and Lance is a stable boy.

This time Lance is the prince and Keith works in a local coffee shop.

They’re childhood best friends who grew up together.

They’re college roommates.

They’re musicians.

They’re… mermaids? Mermen?

One in particular stands out to him.

Lance is holding Keith, cradling him close. It looks like they’re on a battlefield and both Lance and Keith have tear stained cheeks. Two girls kneel nearby, a blonde and a brunette.

“Do you love him?” The blonde asks Lance.

Without hesitation Lance responds, “With everything that I am.”

The blonde girl smiles, “Good.”

The realities go on and on, endless worlds and endless stories where Keith and Lance find each other and fall in love. Over and over and over again. Lance is blown away. The realities unfold around him and he sees them. He sees their story written again and again. Their story is endless, one that expands beyond time and space, one that breaks the barriers between realities. Because there they are, Keith and Lance. In every reality that he can see, there’s Keith and Lance. 

Keith and Lance.

Lance and Keith.

Together despite all odds.

Because Lance loves Keith, and Keith loves Lance.

He can feel it thrumming through his veins. It’s a truth of the universe as fundamental as the stars in the sky.

Lance and Keith are in love.

Lance’s hand feels cold without the Aelle’s grip. They are smiling that soft smile at him again. Lance blinks away tears and sucks in a deep breath.

“Keith is my soulmate.” He says.

“Yes.”

“Can you help me find him?”

The Aelle’s soft smile turns into one as blinding as the sun, “Yes.”

Chapter Text

Stars.

He can see the stars.

He can’t remember the last time he saw them. It could’ve been months, or maybe even years. He’s been underground for an eternity. 

He’s in a dark room, he can feel the unyielding floor beneath his back. Something is digging into his spine but he can’t make his body move. All he can do is lay there and stare at the stars through the hole in the roof.

He realizes that there’s tears leaking out of the side of his eyes and slipping into his hair. He tries to lift a hand, to reach for those stars, to beg them to save him, but it falls limp and useless by his side. He lets out a choked sob and it echoes in the dark room.

He knows where he is.

The others had talked about these rooms. They had told him that when someone was close to death they would be isolated in a room where they can see the sky for the last time. It was mercy, they had said. 

It doesn’t feel like mercy. It feels like he’s being taunted. Freedom is right there, it’s so close he can taste it. If he had the strength to move he could reach the hole in the roof, he could crawl through and he would be free. But his limbs are weak, so weak. He lets out a sob of frustration. He is so close and yet so far.

He’s going to die here. He’s going to die here with freedom staring him in the face. He’s going to die here, weak and helpless and alone.

No, he tells himself, Lance is coming, Lance will find you.

He has to hold onto that hope, it’s the only one he has left. He ignores the voice in his head telling him that the universe is enormous and Lance’s chances of finding him are slim. Keith will fight, he will hang on to his life with everything he can until Lance finds him. There’s too much that he still needs to tell Lance. There’s too many things that have been left unsaid between them. He has to live, he has to. Because the thought of dying and leaving Lance behind nearly breaks him. 

He had once welcomed the idea of death. His life wasn’t as important as the war, and if he had to die so that they would win, then so be it. He didn’t realize all that he had to live for.

Lance makes him want to live. Not just exist, not just survive, but live.

He will hold on to his life for as long as he can.

Lance will find him.

The Aelle waves their hand and three chairs appear on the balcony arranged in a circle.

“So how come Keith and I haven’t been able to communicate through dreams before now?” Lance asks, taking one of the seats, Krolia follows suit. 

The Aelle cocks their head, “What do you mean?” They say. With another wave of their hand, a pool appears on the ground between the three of them. It reflects the clear blue sky and Lance’s curious face.

“The dreams?” Lance repeats, “That’s how I found out he was alive, we have these dreams where we can see each other. We can’t hear each other, so I don’t know what’s going on with that, well except there was this one time just after Keith went missing when I could hear him but I didn’t realize that it was actually him ya know? Anyways we figured out how to talk with each other cause apparently he knows how to fingerspell and I had no idea, speaking of which where did he learn to fingerspell cause that’s not something that just everyone knows how to do, so maybe he had a deaf friend or-”

“Lance.” Krolia cuts him off with an amused stare.

“-something. Sorry I’m rambling.”

The Aelle huffs a quiet laugh, “It’s alright to be anxious. As for your dreams, I have no idea.”

“What? But I thought-”

“They have nothing to do with being soulmates.”

Lance blinks in confusion. They don’t? “But then where’d they come from?”

“That is a mystery to be solved at a later time. Let us see if we can find where your man is now, shall we?” The Aelle says, “We shall begin at the last moment the two of you interacted.”

Lance feels his face heat up and he just knows that it’s bright red, “Oh we really don’t-” He begins but it’s too late. The pool swirls and Lance feels himself being sucked towards it. His body feels weightless as if he’s falling, then his feet touches on solid ground.

Looking around he can see the Aelle and Krolia there with him. They’re on his front porch, and coming up the stairs is-

“Keith!” 

The voice is his, but not his at the same time. Lance and Krolia turn in unison to see another Lance barreling out the front door. Before the other Lance can reach Keith, he is mauled by Kosmo and knocked off his feet.

“What is this?” Krolia asks.

“We are traveling through time.” The Aelle responds, “This is a moment in the past. They cannot see us, nor hear us. It is similar to what I showed you Lance, but we have more control in this scenario.”

“Why this particular moment?” Lance asks, “Like why couldn’t we just go to where Keith is now?”

“Basically you are the link. In order to discover where Keith is now, I need to go back to your last interaction. We can follow him from here on out.”

Other Lance has finally pushed Kosmo off him and is being engulfed in a hug from Keith. Even from here, Lance can see how red Other Lance’s face is and how he tries to hide it. Keith pulls back from the hug and smiles at Other Lance and-

Dang, he’s beautiful.

Beside him, Krolia snorts, “Glad you think so.”

Okay so he said that out loud, he’s already embarrassing himself in front of his soulmate's mother.

“Hey!” Oh gosh, did his voice really squeak that bad?

“Hey!” Keith replies, and Other Lance does something truly embarrassing. He stares. Lance’s face heats as Other Lance just stares at Keith open mouthed. Keith raises an eyebrow.

“Do I have something on my face?” He asks.

Other Lance starts, “No,” There’s that squeak again, “It’s just… it’s been a while. You’ve been gone for like six months and I… uh should we go in? Do you need anything? I’ve got some food, the almond milk went bad like forever ago though, so if you want cereal that’s out. Speaking of, I meant to go and buy some because I actually tried it and it’s not bad and it makes some dang good french toast, but then I kept forgetting at the store which wasn’t a big deal cause you weren’t here but then you said you would be and I was gonna go grocery shopping but then Veronica-”

“Lance,” Keith cuts him off with a laugh, “I’m fine, but thank you.”

And goodness, Other Lance is staring again. Lance puts his face in his hands and he can hear Krolia chuckle.

“Can we leave now?” He grumbles, “I can’t watch this anymore.”

It had been the first time he’d seen Keith since he realized that he was in love. Lance had been stumbling over himself the entire week that Keith had stayed. Things had been much easier when Lance was blissfully ignorant of how Keith made him feel.

“We can go.” The Aelle says, placing a hand on Lance’s shoulder. There’s that weightless feeling again that lasts to the point of being uncomfortable before they’re standing in a very familiar corridor.

“This is a Galra ship.” Krolia says, her tone dark.

There’s movement on the other end of the hall and Lance turns to see Keith making his way around a corner. His mask isn’t on and his face is scrunched in concentration. Behind him there are two other Blades. The three of them move swiftly and efficiently down the hallway.

“That’s the team we sent.” Krolia follows them, her movements just as graceful as the rest of the Blades. Just before they reach the end of the hallway, a Galra woman appears, flanked by sentries. Krolia freezes.

“No.” She whispers.

The Galra woman doesn’t say anything, she just smiles cruelly as the hallway begins to fill with a fog.

Then there’s the weightless feeling again and they’re standing in a large dark room. It looks like a massive underground cavern. It’s lit by little torches scattered all around and there’s hundreds and hundreds of people milling about.

“It’s a mine.” The Aelle’s voice is one of light curiosity.

A line of people walk past them and there he is! Keith is in the middle of the line, standing straight and wearing his typical scowl. His feet, like all the others, are shackled forcing him to take awkward shuffling steps.

“They’re slaves.” Krolia murmurs. 

Instinctively, Lance follows Keith. He’s covered in dirt and grime, and the back of his shirt is soaked in what looks like blood. Lance feels like he’s going to be sick. Krolia reaches out, as if to touch Keith, but he passes through her grip like a ghost. 

The line of slaves are led through the cavern and into a corridor. At a fork, a Galra appears and takes Keith from the line of slaves. Lance catches a brief look of blind terror on his face before he schools it back into the scowl. He doesn’t try to fight the Galra as he takes him down the dark hallway. They keep travelling downwards and Lance almost feels like he’s going to suffocate in the small space. At one point, Keith stumbles and falls because of the shackles but before he can hit the ground, the Galra yanks him sharply to his feet. Keith lets out a yelp of pain but otherwise is silent.

Lance wishes he could fight the Galra.

After what feels like an eternity, they reach a door. The Galra roughly shoves Keith through the door and he stumbles again. This time the Galra lets it happen, and he kicks Keith in the ribs. Hard. Then he kicks Keith again, this time in the stomach.

Lance’s vision has gone red and he launches himself at the Galra. He doesn’t have a plan, he just knows that he can’t let him hurt Keith anymore. But instead of making contact, Lance just goes right through the Galra and stumbles into the wall on the other side of the room. 

“You cannot touch them.” The Aelle says, their voice filled with sorrow, “As much as you may want to.”

Lance chokes on a sob as the Galra kicks Keith a third time. Then the Galra yanks him to his feet again and drags him to the middle of the room. It is then that Lance notices the table and the variety of strange instruments littering the room. The Galra straps Keith to the table and leaves, slamming the door behind him.

Keith’s composure breaks, and he releases a sob. He looks terrified and he’s struggling against the restraints. 

It is then that Lance realizes where they are.

The room is a torture chamber.

The door cracks open and for the second time Lance is met face to face with himself.

“Please tell me we’re seeing the future.” Lance says as he watches the other Lance run up to the table with Keith.

“Keith!” the other Lance cries, “Keith, oh my gosh I found you. I found you!”

“No.” The Aelle’s voice is soft, “We are not viewing the future.”

“Lance?” Keith croaks.

“Yes Keith, it’s me.” Not-Lance gently places a hand on Keith’s cheek and Lance is fuming. His fists clench and he can feel the anger, white-hot in his belly.

Keith tries to sit up, but Not-Lance gently pushes him back, “Not so fast.”

“Why,” Keith pushes back against Lance, “We can get out of here, you can undo the restraints and we can get out.”

“Ah,” Not-Lance’s face twists into one of guilt and remorse, “That’s the thing Keith… we can’t get out.”

“What?”

Lance steps forward, hands shaking. He can’t do anything, his shoulder hurts from going into the wall. He can’t watch but he can’t make himself look away.

“I’m just as trapped here as you are.” Lies.

“N- no we-”

“I’m so sorry Keith.” Not-Lance’s voice cracks. His eyes have filled with tears and his thumb is stroking Keith’s jaw so gently. 

“Why?” Krolia whispers, “Why would they do this?”

“We’re going to die here Keith.” Lance can’t help it, he screams. He yells his fury at Not-Lance and the lies he’s spitting. Keith has to know, he has to realize that this isn’t the real Lance. The real Lance would never give up so easily. Not-Lance gently frees Keith’s hands from the restraints, but he still doesn’t allow Keith to sit up.

“There’s no point.” He murmurs, “We’re just going to die here.”

“No,” Keith tries to sit up again, “There has to be a way out. Lance, I know we can find a way out.”

Instead of responding, Not-Lance kisses Keith.

There’s a roaring in Lance’s ear and his whole body feels too hot. His stomach is churning and he swears there’s a red tint to his vision. He can’t stop shaking. He thinks he’s going to hyperventilate.

Without breaking the kiss, Not-Lance climbs on the table, pinning Keith down. Lance can’t help it, he launches himself at Not-Lance and hits the wall on the other side with a painful smack. 

“Lance-” Keith gasps, pushing Not-Lance away. Lance recognizes the look Keith has, it’s Keith’s “ I have an idea” face.

Not-Lance hums, pressing little kisses to Keith’s jawline. Lance punches the wall behind him. 

“The rooms, where they take the dying slaves.” Keith says, “I’ve heard there’s a hole in the roof, we can get out. If we can get-” Keith is cut off by Not-Lance kissing him again.

“It’s not me Keith. It’s not!” Lance cries, and he realizes that there are tears streaming down his face.

“Lance!” Keith forcefully pushes Not-Lance away, “ Listen!”

“We are not getting out of here!” Not-Lance replies, face contorted in anger, “We are never getting out of here.”

Lance punches the wall again. He pretends it’s Not-Lance’s face. His knuckles split and start bleeding.

Keith’s eyes have gone wide, “You’re not Lance.” He says, in a horrified whisper.

Not-Lance laughs, low and deep. Keith tries to shove him off, but Not-Lance doesn’t budge.

“I can be whoever you want me to be.” And suddenly Not-Lance is Shiro, then Krolia, then Hunk, Pidge, Allura, Axca, Curtis, Kolivan, and then back to Lance.

“This was fun.” Not-Lance says, hopping off the table and retying Keith’s restraints, “We should do it again sometime. You’re a pretty good kisser.” With a wink he turns and practically dances out the door.

The weightless feel takes over again, and then Lance is blinking in the sudden bright sunlight. They’re back in the chairs again, and the little pool is gone. Lance is suddenly very grateful for the chairs, because there was no way that he'd be able to stand on his own. Krolia seems to be in the same state as he is, her gaze unfocused and hands trembling.

“I am sorry.” The Aelle says, “I should not have allowed you to join me. I should have done that on my own.”

“Where is he?” Krolia’s head snaps up, and Lance almost flinches at the anger in her eyes, “Where is my son?”

The Aelle rattles off some coordinates but Lance doesn’t hear them.

Five weeks. It had been five weeks since Keith had been captured. Keith had been a slave for five weeks. He had been tortured for five weeks. If Lance had realized what the dreams were sooner, if Lance had tried to communicate with Keith sooner he wouldn’t have been there for five weeks . Lance had been too slow to realize that Keith was still alive, and as a result he had endured that for five weeks. How many times had Not-Lance returned? How many times had Keith been taunted with the idea of rescue?

“You must hurry.” The Aelle says, “What you last saw was three weeks ago. Now he has been isolated from the rest of the colony.”

Krolia stands, “Why?” She asks and she extends a hand to pull Lance to his feet as well.

The Aelle hesitates, then says, “Because he is dying.”

Lance’s legs give out and his world goes black.

Chapter Text

Keith looks so small, so weak. He’s laying on his side, curled in on himself, with his face scrunched tight.

Lance gently places a hand on his shoulder, and while Keith still flinches, it’s not as sharp as it had been before. Almost as if he doesn’t care anymore. Slowly Keith lifts his head to look at Lance. His eyes are dull and lifeless, there’s no spark in them anymore. It frightens Lance. 

“I’m dying.” He whispers and Lance reels in shock. He can hear Keith. He can hear Keith. The only other time he’s heard Keith was weeks ago when he’d had the first dream and Keith had been desperately yelling. But Keith isn’t yelling now, in fact his voice is so quiet that Lance almost missed what he said. What had changed?

“I’m sorry Lance.” Keith’s eyes slid shut, “I’m trying, I really am, but I don’t think I can hold on much longer.”

“No, no, no, no.” Lance gathers Keith in his arms and pulls him close. Keith feels so light and his body is limp.

“You’re not going to die.” He whispers fiercely, “I won’t let you.”

Lance hits something hard. It almost feels like he’s been dropped, and when he cracks open his eyes he realizes that that’s exactly what happened. One of the strange angel people, the same one that had led them to the Aelle, is standing above him with an apologetic expression.

“I apologize,” They say, “I did not mean to place you down so hard.”

“It’s fine.” Krolia snaps, stepping over Lance and into the ship, “Thank you for your help, but we should get going.”

The angel-person bows and steps lightly out of the ship. As soon as they are gone, the ramp is raised and they are airborne. Lance clumsily gets to his feet and stumbles into the cockpit. Krolia’s expression is stormy as she navigates them through the planet's atmosphere and into space.

“Can I trust that that won’t happen again.” She says, voice clipped.

Lance’s face burns as he remembers. He passed out. The Aelle had said that Keith was dying and Lance had just passed out.

“Yes.” He says, holding his head high, “I’m sorry, it was just…” He trails off.

“Just what?” Krolia says, softer this time.

Lance crosses his arms, “I found out that he was my soulmate, and literally twenty minutes later found out that he’s dying. Just… what if we don’t get there in time? What if I lose him?” His voice sounds small and frightened.

Krolia pushes a few buttons, then turns to face Lance, “I understand.” She says, “I’m scared too. He’s my son , my only son and the last thing I want to do is lose him. But we have to be strong. We can’t lose focus and we can’t get distracted by ‘what if’, okay?”

Lance nods vigorously, “Of course.”

Krolia fixes him with a stare and Lance is struck by how much that stare mirrors Keith. It’s determined and fierce, it’s a stare that says she will do whatever it takes to get Keith back, “If you prove to be a weak link, I will not hesitate to leave you behind and get Keith myself. Do you understand?”

And yeah, Lance does understand. He would do the same thing, even though he knows Krolia won’t be a weak link. He nods.

“Good. I have a plan.”

“Are you ready?” Krolia asks. Lance jumps at her sudden voice. He had been bandaging his fist and he drops the bandages on the floor of the ship. 

“Yes, yeah, yep, definitely.” Lance says, bending down to pick up the bandages.

Krolia sits across from him, “You’re nervous.” 

“It-” Lance sighs, “It just seems too easy. Like why would someone go through all the trouble of capturing Keith and taking him to a slaving colony when rescuing him is laughably easy?”

“Well, normally the people who get sent to the colonies don’t have people to rescue them. The people who run them don’t often have to worry about that. And even if one slave escaped, they have hundreds of others to take their place.”

“That’s horrible.” Lance whispers.

“It is.”

“That still doesn’t explain why Keith was taken there though.” Lance finishes bandaging his knuckles and places the bandages back in their proper place. Krolia is silent and Lance is reminded painfully of Keith. She’s making the same face Keith does when he’s thinking through what he’s about to say. Keith and Krolia are surprisingly similar, despite the fact that they didn’t get much of a chance to be a family.

“The Galra who captured Keith is an old enemy of mine.” Krolia finally says, “I killed her son, and since then she’s had it out for me. I’m assuming that she figured a quick death would be too good for Keith and sold him to the slavers. She probably realized that it would be the last place I’d think to look for him.”

“But you thought he was dead? We all did.” 

Krolia’s mouth turns downward, “Yes. She probably figured that selling Keith to the salvers was the best way for her to ensure that he would suffer, but also that she wouldn’t get caught with him. If she had hung on to him, I would have found him weeks ago when I took down her rebel core.”

“So you found her then?” 

“Yes. She’s no longer a threat.”

Lance can’t help but feel relieved, “Let’s go get Keith then.”

The colony doesn’t look as sinister as Lance thought it would. In fact, from the outside it just looks like a normal mine. There’s a constant stream of traffic flowing in and out, carrying a variety of items, mostly stone. 

He follows Krolia as she marches right up to what appears to be an office at the entrance to the mine. There’s a Galra lady sitting in it, talking on a communicator.

“-the supplies have arrived, everything is on schedule. Oh hello!” She gives them a smile and a cheery wave, “I’ll be with you in just a moment.” 

As she finishes up her conversation, Lance wrings his hands into his shirt. He’s feeling anxious about the plan, but he and Krolia had agreed that it was the best course of action. The mine had only one way in and out, and with just the two of them, they couldn’t exactly go in guns ablazing. 

The Galra lady turns off her communicator and turns to them with a sickly sweet smile, “What can I help you with?”

Krolia grips Lance’s shoulder and brings him forward sharply, “I brought you a slave.” She says, and the distaste in her voice almost sounds real. Lance struggles to regain his balance with his bound hands.

The Galra lady claps her hands together, “Fantastic! We could always use more.” Again with that sickly sweet smile, “How much are you charging for him?”

Lance feels slightly sick. Living beings are being sold like they’re just items. It doesn’t sit well with him. He wonders how much this place had paid for Keith.

The transaction happens smoothly and soon Lance is taken from Krolia and sent with a Galra soldier down the hallway. He shoots her one last look over his shoulder before he descends into the mine. Her face is impassive, but he can see the glint in her eyes.

You can do this.

The Galra soldier leads him downward and the sunlight from the entrance vanishes, leaving them in almost complete darkness. There’s torches every several meters, but not nearly enough to dispel the gloom. Lance lowers his head, the picture of a docile slave. There’s others in the hallway, but the lower they go, the less people there are. They turn a few more corners and Lance sees his opportunity. The hallway is devoid of other beings, so Lance stumbles. Annoyed, the Galra turns to pull him back up and Lance wraps his hands around the Galra’s neck and brings his head down onto his knee.

The Galra crumples, blood gushing from his nose, and lays still on the ground. Lance prods him just to make sure he’s unconscious, then grabs his knife and cuts his bonds. With his hands free, Lance opens his mouth and spits out the communicator he had clenched between his teeth. He cracks his jaw a couple of times. Clenching his teeth that hard for that long was supremely uncomfortable. 

“Krolia?” He whispers, as he sticks the communicator in his ear.

Her response is immediate, “Keep going down that hallway, when you reach a fork turn left. That will lead you to the rooms where Keith is.” She must have gotten her hands on the map.

Lance cracks his jaw again, grabs the Galra’s blaster and strides down the hallway.

Two Months Ago

“So when are you going to tell Keith that you’re in love with him?” 

Lance chokes on his drink and stares incredulously at Shiro, “What?”

“He asked when you’re going to tell Keith that you’re in love with him.” Curtis smiles too sweetly at Lance. Lance turns to Matt in desperation, but he’s also smiling that same sweet smile. They’re ganging up on him.

“Who says I’m in love with Keith?” Lance grumbles.

Matt begins ticking things off on his fingers, “The way you look at him, the way you talk about him, the way you two already act like an old married couple, would you like me to continue?” 

Lance’s face is flaming, “No, no that’s fine. Am I really that obvious?”

Three yeses in unison.

“Geeze,” Lance mumbles, “I thought I was being at least a little bit subtle.”

Shiro laughs and puts an arm around Lance’s shoulders, “That’s okay, Keith is really oblivious.I guarantee you that he hasn’t noticed.”

Lance cringes, “I’m not so sure about that, the last time I saw him I was a mess.”

“So normal then?” Matt flashes him a grin and Lance swipes at him, hitting him on the shoulder.

“But seriously,” Curtis says, “Are you going to tell him?”

Lance leans back into the couch and ponders the question. He had been considering telling Keith for a few weeks now. The gathering on Altea was coming soon and he was guaranteed to see Keith. That would be a perfect opportunity to tell him, and Lance was fairly certain that he was ready to open himself up to another relationship. But what if Keith rejected him?

“I want to.” Lance finally says, “But I’m scared.”

“Why?” Shiro asks gently.

“What if he rejects me?”

Matt snorts incredulously, “Have you seen the way he looks at you? He’s not gonna reject you, I can basically promise that.”

“What Matt is trying to say is,” Shiro shoots Matt a stern look, “you shouldn’t let the fear of rejection stop you. The worst that could happen is Keith will say no, but that doesn’t have to affect your friendship. You’ve gotten through worse together. Your friendship is stronger than that.”

“Shiro, you’re such a Dad.” Lance says, laughing, “But thank you.”

Lance purses his lips, considering. He does want to tell Keith. He had almost told him the last time he visited but he had been scared and he wasn’t sure if he was ready to let himself love again. Keith deserved someone who could and would love him fully, and Lance hadn’t been sure that he could do that. But as the months went on, and Lance still didn’t see Keith, he had realized that he could. He was capable of loving Keith completely and fully, with everything that he was. He already did.

“I just don’t know how to tell him.” Lance confesses, “I’m scared that I’ll get my words all jumbled and I’ll say something stupid.”

Curtis shrugs, “Write him a love letter then. That’s what I did with Shiro.”

The conversation eventually drifts past Keith and Lance, but Lance can’t stop thinking about Curtis’ suggestion.

Write a love letter.

He could do that. He could pour all of his thoughts and feelings out onto a piece of paper and when he saw Keith again, all he’d have to do was give it to him. He’d have the next few weeks to perfect it, to make it the best love letter Keith would ever receive. He could give it to him on New Altea, maybe take him on a picnic in the juniberry fields. Lance grinned. He was going to write Keith a love letter. 

Present Day

Lance feels like he’s been walking for an eternity before he reached a long hallway with doors lining both sides.

“He’s in one of these rooms.” Krolia says, her voice cracking slightly through the communicator, “Unfortunately I can’t tell you which.”

Which means Lance would have to open the doors until he found Keith. He takes a deep breath through his nose, and steps up to the first one. He tries the handle and finds it to be unlocked, so he slowly twists it and pushes the door open. His nose is immediately assaulted by a stench so bad that he gags. There is an alien lying on the floor, immobile. Their eyes are glassy and focused on something above their head. There is a shaft of sunlight landing on their face, coming in through a small hole in the roof.

Lance quickly closes the door. He is seething. They stuck the slaves in these rooms to die alone, only a few feet from freedom. He takes a deep breath and continues to the next door.

With every door he opens, Lance feels worse and worse. Some of them were still alive, moaning slightly or trying to reach for that hole in the roof. Most of them were already dead. He wishes he could save them all, but it wasn’t possible with just him and Krolia. 

I’ll come back , he vows silently. It might be too late for these people, but it wasn’t too late for those still in the mines.

He had his hand on one of the door handles when the pain began. Lance crumples to the floor, unable to stop it. 

It was agony.

It was fire.

It was burning him from the inside out.

He was being ripped to pieces, torn apart and burned.

He couldn’t stop the cry that escaped his throat and vaguely he heard Krolia ask him what was wrong. He lay on the ground panting, trying to breathe through the pain, but it was too much, it was too overwhelming. 

In his mind's eye he sees one of the doors, three doors down from where he was and he knew that that was the one. That was where Keith was. Lance struggles to his hands and knees and begins crawling towards the door.

Just breathe, just keep going.

He clenches his teeth and keeps crawling. He doesn’t know what the pain is or why it’s happening. All he knows was that he needs to get to Keith.

Just a few more feet. 

Lance feels like his heart is being ripped out of his chest.

Lance freezes.

No.

With great difficulty, he gets to his feet and stumbles the last few steps to the door. Shaking, he grabs the handle and yanks it open.

Lying in the middle of the floor is Keith.

With a choked sob, Lance falls to his knees and crawls to Keith. He takes him in his arms, but Keith makes no move. His eyes are glassy and fixed on the ceiling. He isn’t breathing.

“Keith.” It came out as a pained whisper, “Keith no, please.”

Lance can’t find his pulse. He can’t feel his heartbeat.

The reason for the pain came with sudden clarity.

Keith is his soulmate.

And his soulmate had just died.

Chapter Text

It’s about six in the morning when Shiro’s phone starts buzzing. He’s already awake, has been for the past several hours actually, but he can’t think of a single person who would be calling him that early.

Curious, he looks at the caller.

Lance?

As far as Shiro is aware, Lance hasn’t tried reaching out to anyone at all in the past five weeks. 

He accepts the call.

Immediately the image of Lance fills his screen. He’s in a dark place and it looks like he’s wearing… Blade armor?

“Lance? What’s happening, where are you?”

“Shiro,” Lance has a deadly look of calm on his face, “Keith is alive, Krolia and I are going to get him. We’re going to bring him back to earth, to the Garrison but we’re going to need medical personnel on standby, he’s-”

“Wait what?” Shiro almost drops his phone, “Keith is alive? ” He feels dizzy.

Lance’s face softens, “Yes.”

“I- what? How- how do you know?” Shiro thumps down on the couch, unable to stand any longer. Keith is alive? How is that possible?

Lance sighs and runs a hand through his hair, “It’s a long story, but if all goes well, we should be back with Keith in less than two days. I’ll explain everything when we get back.”

Shiro stands, already heading to the door, “Send me your coordinates, I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“No!” Lance’s voice comes out sharp, “There’s no time Shiro, we can’t wait for you.”

“Lance, he's my brother! I can’t just sit here and-”

“He’s dying, Shiro.” Lance’s voice cracks and his face crumples. Shiro freezes as tears begin slipping down Lance’s face.

“He’s dying,” Lance repeats, “We can’t afford to wait.”

Shiro drops his keys to the ground, “Lance, why didn’t you tell me?” His voice breaks on the last words and tears start to gather in his eyes.

Lance sighs again, but he’s stopped crying, “I didn’t want to get your hopes up just in case he wasn’t alive.”

Shiro’s hand is shaking, but he can see the sense behind Lance’s words. It doesn’t mean he likes it, but he can understand. He probably would’ve done the same thing.

“Shiro,” Lance’s voice is soft, “Can I trust you? Will you be ready with the medical personnel when we get back.”

Shiro is already nodding before Lance even finishes, “Yes, yes I’ll be there.”

Lance breathes a sigh of relief, “Thank you. He’s- he’s hurt bad Shiro. But I’ll get him, I promise.”

“If anyone can, it’s you Lance.”

There’s soft grass tickling his face, and a breeze ruffling his hair. Keith lifts his head and is met with blinding sunlight. He hasn’t seen anything so bright in… well he doesn’t know how long. Slowly he pushes himself into a sitting position, gazing around at his surroundings. He’s on a small hill, sitting at the base of a tree. There’s plains for miles and miles around him, dotted with flowers and in the far distance he can see a mountain range.

Where was he?

“It’s peaceful here.” A familiar voice says, and Keith turns slowly towards the source of it.

“Allura.”

She smiles, real and genuine at him. Her long white hair is loose and her eyes are sparkling with happiness, “It’s good to see you Keith.”

“I’m dead.” It’s not a question.

Allura sighs, “Yes,” but then that dazzling smile is back, “But not for long.”

Keith tilts his head, “What do you mean?”

Allura taps the Altean marks on her cheeks, “I didn’t give these to Lance for nothing. You just have to be patient.”

Keith blinks in confusion. He just has to be patient? For what? He’s dead isn’t he? Death is pretty permanent.

“I always knew it would be you and Lance in the end.” She says quietly, “I didn’t see it then, but I think a part of me always realized.”

“Allura-”

Allura places her hand over his, “I’m happy for you both. I couldn’t be the person that Lance needed. I don’t think I ever would have been, but you have always been there for him. When it came down to it, I put the war before Lance. You would put Lance before the war.”

“He loves you.”

“He did.” Allura agrees, “But, he deserves something who will always put him first. He deserves someone who can and will love him entirely. And you are that person.”

Keith feels tears prickling in his eyes. He does love Lance. He loves Lance so much that it makes it hard to breathe. All he’s ever wanted was for Lance to be happy, to be loved. He’s not good with words, but he thinks he knows his heart. And his heart has always led him back to Lance.

“And that doesn’t change the fact that you are soulmates.” Allura gives him a knowing look.

“Wh- he- we-” Keith sputters, “How did you know?”

That knowing look grows into a wide grin, “I’m sort of like… an entity of the universe now, I guess.” She says, “But it wasn’t hard to figure it out.” Then the corners of her mouth turn down, “Why didn’t you ever tell him?”

Keith sighs and crosses his arms across his chest, “Everything just happened so quickly and then you and him-” He sighs again, “It was just never the right time.”

Allura plucks a few blades of grass and begins twisting them between her fingers, “Is there ever a right time?” She says, “I got tired of watching you two dance around each other, that’s why I opened the mental link. Although I had difficulty with getting you to hear each other.”

“That was you?”

“Take care of him for me.” Allura says, taking his hand and squeezing it, “Take care of all of them for me. And tell him that I’m so proud of him for having the courage to move on. And that I’m happy for him.”

“Allura.” His voice is barely a whisper. He feels a tugging in his gut and his vision starts to go blurry. The last thing he sees before it’s dark again is Allura’s warm smile.

Lance doesn’t know how long he’s been sitting there, cradling Keith in his arms. Krolia is on her way so they can get out, but it’s too late. They had been too late. He can’t even sob, he’s just sitting numbly in shock as Keith’s body gets colder. He’s rocking back and forth and there’s a giant chasm growing in his chest. He thinks the pain is gone, either that or he’s just grown used to it. Keith is gone, he’s dead for real this time. Lance doesn’t know what to do. He wants to just lay down and die here with Keith.

“Lance?” Lance hasn’t said anything to Krolia since getting into the room, and he can’t make his mouth work. He can’t say the words out loud, “Lance, I’m almost there, do you have him?”

They were too late. He was too late.

A memory comes to mind, one from many years ago, distantly resurfacing.

“I brought you back.” Allura says, “You were dead, and I brought you back.”

Lance sits back, his mild running at a thousand miles per minute. He has questions, he has endless questions, but they remain stubbornly in his head. When he finally recovers his voice, he says one simple word.

“How?”

Allura merely shrugs, “I just couldn’t let you go.” She says, “You are so brave, and fearless and needed , I couldn’t let you die. And so I simply said-“

“No.”

Lance’s voice comes out harsh and grated. He swallows, looks down at Keith in his arms and says again, “No.”

Allura had gifted him with her power, hadn’t she? The marks he bore weren’t useless, they had magic and he could feel it. He had tried denying it, shoving it down so he wouldn’t have to face reality. But he was done. He was done running. He had run from Keith and cost them a chance at love. He had run from the former Paladins and his family after the war. He had run from his own magic, scared of what it would mean.

But he wasn’t scared anymore.

He cradled Keith closer, pressing their foreheads together. 

“No.” He whispers. He thinks of Keith years ago in the Garrison. A small boy filled with so much anger at a world that had abused him.

“No!” He sees Keith as a Paladin. Recklessly charging into battle with little thought for his own life, willing to lay it down to protect those he loved.

“NO!” He sees Keith. He sees how Keith always goes out of his way to make Lance happy. He sees Keith wedging himself into Lance’s life and utterly refusing to leave. 

And then Lance feels it. The power is ripping through him, lighting his body on fire. He can feel Allura with him, guiding the magic towards him, towards Keith. He reaches out with that power, he holds on and he refuses to let go. He’ll never let go again. And then the magic softens, it turns into something sweet and tender.

“Lance?”

Slowly, timidly, Lance opens his eyes and sees Keith. He’s holding Keith so close that he can feel him breathing. His chest moving slow and steady. Keith reaches a hand up and brushes it so softly against Lance’s cheek, wiping away tears that Lance hadn’t been aware were falling. 

“Keith.” Lance’s voice is still broken, completely wrecked. But he doesn’t care. Keith is alive.

Keith’s lips twist upwards into a small smile, “Can’t get rid of me that easy Sharpshooter.” 

“I wouldn’t want to.”

Keith gives him a weak smile, “Good.” Lance notices how small his voice is, how tired it sounds. Keith might not be dead anymore, but he’s still weak and injured and Lance still needs to get him out.

“Can you stand?”

Keith lets out a weak chuckle, “No, not even close.”

Lance nods, “That’s okay, we figured you wouldn’t be able to.” Then he hooks an arm around Keith’s legs and the other around his back and lifts him. Keith is so light, scarily so and for the first time Lance notices just how skinny he is. His cheeks are gaunt and even in the sunlight from the hole, his skin is ashy and gray. He really needs medical attention. He’s holding onto Lance, but his grip is weak. He hisses through his teeth at the movement, his eyebrows scrunched together in pain.

“Sorry.” Lance mumbles.

“Lance?” Krolia’s voice doesn’t come through the communicator this time and he gazes up to see her throw a ladder down through the hole, “We have to get out quickly, they already found the Galra you took down.”

“Do you think you can pull us out? I don’t know if I can climb the ladder like this.” Lance glances down at Keith to see that his eyes have slipped closed again. There’s a moment of panic, but then he sees Keith’s chest rise and fall. He’s alive, he’s breathing.

Krolia snorts, “Of course I can.”

Lance stays by Keith’s side the entire flight back to earth. Keith woke up once during the journey and mumbled something incoherent before passing out again. Lance thinks he heard him say something about Allura. 

As soon as they touch down on earth, there’s a flurry of activity. The medical personnel that Shiro had rallied takes Keith immediately. They might have to perform surgery, they tell him. Lance follows him as far as they let him, and then stubbornly sits on the floor outside of where they’ve taken him. Shiro sits next to him and Krolia joins them several minutes later.

Lance doesn’t know how long they’ll be waiting, but he knows that when Keith gets out he’ll be here.

He’s never leaving Keith’s side again.

Chapter Text

It’s dark. It’s too dark. He can’t see anything and panic seizes in his chest. 

He can’t breathe.

It wasn’t real.

He was back, he was trapped underground again.

Lance hadn’t come.

It wasn’t real. 

He can’t breathe.

“Keith?” Someone grabs at his hand and he violently flinches away. They were going to hurt him again.

“Keith,” The person grabs for his hand again, and he tries to break free but they hold on tight, “Keith, it’s okay. You’re okay.”

Yeah, he’s heard that before, but it was always a lie. He wasn’t okay. He’s tried to be strong, but he can’t help the sob that escapes his throat. This was low, even for them. He had truly thought that his suffering was at an end, that he had been rescued. He just wants it to be over. He had thought it was over. But he’s back, he’s back in that dark room. He can’t do this anymore, he just wants it to be over.

The room lit up suddenly, blinding Keith and then there’s people surrounding him. There’s too many people, there’s too much noise. He can’t breathe, he can’t move, he can’t do anything. 

He thinks he sees the blue of Lance’s eyes before his world goes dark again.

“Is he gonna be okay?” Hunk’s voice echoes through the open door and Lance doesn’t bother to pay attention to the doctor's response. He’s heard them all say that Keith will be okay, that he will survive his injuries and make a full recovery. Lance isn’t worried about that. What worries him is the fact that Keith had woken in the middle of the night in the dark and immediately been seized with panic. He and Krolia had both tried to calm him down, but it had been like Keith couldn’t even hear or see them. Lance doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to forget the look Keith had given him. Full of panic and devoid of recognition. He had looked at Lance like he was a monster sent to hurt him. 

Lance’s heart clenches, and he gently takes Keith’s hand in his. The doctors had rushed in and sedated him, and he was still asleep. He looked younger in his sleep. Years of battle melted away and he looked like the young adult he was instead of a war-hardened veteran. 

“Lance,” Hunk is back in the room, and he takes a seat next to Lance, “When was the last time you ate?” 

Lance shrugs. Pidge takes the seat next to Hunk’s.

“Told you so.” They mutter.

Hunk holds out a wrapped sandwich, “Here. Eat.” He commands.

Lance takes it, but he doesn’t unwrap it. Hunk sighs.

“Lance, I get that you’re nervous, but you gotta eat.”

“What if he isn’t okay?” Lance’s voice is soft, and it breaks slightly.

Lance isn’t looking at Hunk and Pidge, but he can tell that they’re exchanging glances.

“The doctor’s said-”

“I know what the doctor said.” Lance snaps, “I’m not talking about that. You didn’t see him last night, you didn’t see how afraid he was. He didn’t even recognize me.”

“Keith’s tough.” Pidge says, “He’ll pull through.”

And somehow that comforts Lance more than anything. He trusts Pidge. They’re not one to mince words or sugarcoat things. They say it how it is, and if they believe that Keith is going to get better, then Lance will believe them. 

Keith will get better. 

People filter in and out of the small hospital room. Keith has a lot of people that care about him, and Lance wishes he was awake to see it. But he’s also grateful that Keith isn’t. He doesn’t want Keith to panic again.

Visiting hours have passed, and Krolia and Shiro are both out, leaving Lance alone with Keith. According to the doctor, he should be waking up any time now. Lance doesn’t want to leave and risk Keith waking up alone. The evening sunlight is filtering in through the room, casting a soft glow on Keith. Lance had made sure that the blinds were pulled open and that the room was flooded with light. He doesn’t want Keith waking up in the dark again. 

He recalls suddenly the vision the Aelle had shown him. The one where Keith had fallen asleep outside of his pod. Lance wonders if Keith had felt then the way he feels now. If he had been so choked with worry that he couldn’t bear to leave. If he had felt like his entire life depended on Lance waking up. 

Lance is so focused on his thought process that he doesn’t notice until-

“Lance?”

He snaps back to reality, “Keith!” 

And there he is, eyes wide and still a little groggy looking. But there’s none of the fear from the night before, none of the terror. 

“What happened?” Keith’s voice is rough, and he clears his throat. Lance reaches for the water pitcher next to the bed and pours a glass.

“We’re back on Earth,” He says, handing the glass over. Keith mumbles his thanks.

“We’re at the Garrison’s hospital. You’re safe now, I promise.”

Keith sips on the water, staring at a spot on the wall behind Lance’s shoulder. Lance doesn’t try to break the silence, he just let’s Keith think it through. He’s learned over the years that not every silence needs to be filled with noise.

“This is real.” He says it quietly, like he’s trying to convince himself.

“Yes.” Lance almost reaches for his hand before he pauses, remembering how Keith had flinched away almost every time Lance touched him, even in the dreams. 

“Can I touch you?” He asks instead.

Keith looks at him then, his shining with gratitude, “This is real.” He whispers.

The afternoon has been quiet and peaceful. Lance is tapping away on his phone while Keith is sketching something that he won’t let Lance look at. Lance keeps stealing secret glances at Keith and is stunned every single time. His face is screwed up in concentration as he erases something and Lance realizes that he wants this. He wants quiet afternoons with Keith for the rest of his life. Even though they’re both doing their own thing, there’s just something so wonderful about being around Keith.

“Stop staring, you’re making me nervous.” Keith mutters.

“It’s not my fault you’re so good looking.” Lance says with a wink and he rejoices when Keith’s face flushes. Keith frowns and scrubs harder at the paper.

“I keep messing up because you keep staring at me.” He grumbles.

Lance tries to take a peek at whatever it is Keith is drawing, but he snaps the book shut and tucks it away. Keith leans back on his pillows and crosses his arms in a gesture that Lance has come to learn means ‘ I’m so bored’.

“When are they going to let me out of here?” Keith says, “I’m sick of the hospital food.”

Lance shrugs and pockets his phone, “When they say so?”

“Break me out?” Keith says, giving Lance his best pleading look. Lance almost cracks, almost.

“As fun as that would be, I think Shiro and Krolia would literally kill me.”

“I’ll tell them that I bribed you.”

“With what?”

“I’ll let you see my sketchbook.”

Lance hesitates and he very briefly considers it. He really wants to see the sketchbook. But he also wants to live to see another day and Shiro and Krolia can be quite intimidating.

“Tempting, but no.”

Keith huffs and leans back even further into the pillows, “I’ll just break myself out then.”

Lance snorts, but doesn’t say anything. Keith is still recovering and he and Lance are both fully aware that he wouldn’t make it far on his own. A comfortable silence falls upon the two of them and Lance is about to pull out his phone again when Keith breaks it.

“Lance,” He says, voice hesitant, “Did I- did I die?”

Lance freezes in surprise. He had expected to have this conversation with Keith sooner or later, but he blindsided him. 

“I just,” Keith continues, “I don’t remember much, but I remember one thing extremely vividly, and if it was real then that means… that means that I died.”

“Yes.” Lance says, “When I got to you, you had died.”

Keith nods, “I figured. Allura said as much.”

“Wh- Allura?” 

Keith smiles softly at Lance, “When I died, I saw Allura and I talked with her for a bit. She says that she’s happy for you, and proud of you for having the courage to move on.”

And just like that, tears are prickling Lance’s eyes. He hadn’t realized how much he needed to hear that until now. Some small part of him had been frightened that Allura would be hurt if he moved on and allowed himself to love again. Deep down he had known that she wouldn’t be, that she would never want him to be lonely and miserable for the rest of his life. 

“Thank you.” Lance whispers through the tears. He’s not just talking to Keith, he’s thanking Allura as well. He thanks her for loving him, and allowing him to love her. He thanks her for her bravery and her strength. He thanks her for helping him become the man he is today.

“You brought me back.” Keith says, and he takes Lance’s hand.

“Of course I did.” Lance replies, giving Keith’s hand a squeeze. They lock eyes and Lance really wants to kiss him, but he holds himself back. Keith is just getting comfortable with being touched again. He doesn’t want to push him.

“She wanted us to find each other.” Keith says, and his eyes are shining with unshed tears, “She’s the reason we had those dreams.”

Lance’s mouth drops open, “She is? I was so curious! The Aelle said that they had no idea where the dreams came from when I asked, and they said that the most important thing was finding you and getting you back, so I didn’t really think too much about it, but-”

“The Aelle?” Keith asks, “What the heck is that?”

Lance flashes a bright smile, “Oh Keith, we have so much to catch up on.” And so Lance tells him the whole story, right from when Acxa showed up on New Altea.

Well, almost the whole story. He may or may not have left out the part about them being soulmates.

Lance finds Keith on the rooftop. How he got up here without being noticed is a mystery, but Keith is a resourceful guy. Keith is sitting on the edge, staring out at the city as the sun paints the sky with a brilliant sunset. Lance pauses for a moment, remembering a sunset long ago. They were both different people now. So much had occurred and changed, but fundamentally they were still Lance and Keith.

Slowly, so as not to alarm Keith, Lance takes a seat next to him. It’s to no avail, Keith still flinches, but it’s not as violent as previous ones. 

“You watching the sunset?” Lance asks softly.

“Yeah,” Keith responds, a ghost of a smile on his face “It’s been a while since I last saw one.” 

There’s an undercurrent of sadness in his voice, so Lance asks, “Can I touch you.” Keith gives a small nod and Lance puts his arm around his shoulders, pulling Keith close.

“You’re gonna see hundreds more.” Lance promises, “Thousands.”

Keith chuckles and the sound warms Lance’s soul. He’s been debating telling Keith about the whole soulmates thing, but something tells him to hold back. To wait just a little bit longer. Keith has been through so much and Lance doesn’t want to overwhelm him. Keith is here now, and that’s all Lance needs. Keith is alive and breathing and by his side.

And so they sit together and watch the sun set.

Keith leans on Lance as they walk up the steps of the front porch. He’s breathing heavily, but he refuses to relinquish his hold on the bag he carries. Lance lets go of him briefly to unlock the front door, then immediately supports him again. They cross the threshold together and Keith glares at the stairs to the second level. Gently, Lance takes the bag from him and steers him away from the stairs, into the living room.

“Lance-” Keith begins to protest, but Lance shushes him and pushes him onto the couch.

“You, stay here. I’ll be right back.” 

Keith is too tired to protest further and slinks back into the couch cushions. Lance turns and bounds up the stairs to deposit the bags in Keith’s room. The room had stopped being a guest room long ago. He stands for a second in the room, pondering on how he could make it better for Keith. It’s a little warm, so he cracks open the window, then smooths out the covers on the bed. He has washed the sheets and all of the clothing Keith had left in preparation for Keith’s stay so the room smells clean and fresh. He wants Keith to be as comfortable as possible while he recovers, even if he has to climb the stairs every day. Lance figured Keith would rather do that then sleep on the couch. Keith despises sleeping on couches. 

“I feel pathetic,” Keith mumbles when Lance returns to the living room, “I can’t even walk from the vehicle to the house without getting winded.”

“Hey,” Lance crouches in front of him, “You’ve been through hell and back, and your body needs to recover. It’s not your fault, and I’m here to help you get better.”

Keith’s face is so dejected and sad, and Lance desperately wants to pull Keith closer and kiss the frown off his face. But he doesn’t. Because every time he thinks of kissing Keith, he sees Not-Lance in his mind. So instead he says the next thing that comes to mind.

“Can I paint your nails?”

“What?”

“I have nail polish,” Lance replied, “I want to paint your nails… if that’s okay with you?”

Keith blinks at him, but then there’s a small ghost of a smile, “Yeah, I’d like that.”

Chapter Text

Lance can’t sleep. And it’s not a new thing.

Ever since they’d returned and Keith had been hospitalized, Lance had been plagued by horrible nightmares. He’s not a stranger to nightmares, but these ones feel different. They feel different because now Lance knows what it feels like to see Keith die. He knows what it feels like to hold Keith’s limp body in his arms and search in vain for some sign of life. He knows what it looks like to see those eyes that he loves so much empty and glassy. 

And so it’s close to midnight when Lance rolls over and resigns himself to another sleepless night. He flicks the lamp on and pulls out the book he’d been reading. He used to not read before the war, but since coming home he found that he actually quite enjoys it. The book he’s reading at the moment isn’t anything monumental, just some light and fluffy romance that helps him get his mind off things. He glances at his messy fingernails and smiles. Keith had never painted nails before, but had insisted on doing Lance’s. They’re a fun, bright shade of blue that Keith had claimed matches Lance’s eyes perfectly. Lance in turn had painted Keith’s nails a purple so dark that it almost looked black. 

I’m so in love with him.

Lance is just getting into the book when he hears a noise drifting through his open bedroom door. He freezes, thinking he imagined it but after a few moments he hears it again.

It sounds like a sob, or maybe a gasp of pain.

In less than a second Lance has put the book down and is vaulting out of his bed and down the hallway. Keith’s bedroom door is wide open too and the moonlight is pouring into the room, illuminating Keith on the bed. Even from the doorway Lance can tell that he’s sweating as he makes one of those sobbing sounds again. Lance acts instinctively and makes his way across the room and places a hand on Keith’s shoulders.

Keith moves so fast that Lance barely has time to register it. One second he’s standing next to Keith’s bed, and the next Keith has him pinned to the floor and is holding a knife to his throat. Lance’s heart speeds up, though not exactly from terror. 

Keith snarls, he actually snarls, revealing a mouthful of fangs and Lance notices that his eyes are slitted and yellow. Keith’s chest is heaving, but the hand holding the knife is steady.

“Keith,” Lance reaches upwards for him and Keith blinks, his eyes changing back to normal. He takes a shaky breath and then stumbles backwards off of Lance, knife clattering to the floor.

“I-” He’s still gasping for air, “Lance, I’m so sorry-” His voice breaks on the last word and Lance sees that his eyes are filling with tears.

“No, hey.” Lance sits up and pulls Keith closer, wrapping his arms around his shoulders, “It’s okay, you just had a nightmare, that’s all. I get them all the time.”

Keith fists his hands into Lance’s shirt and rests his head on his shoulder. Lance holds him until he stops shaking, rubbing soothing circles on his back. Lance doesn’t know how long it takes before Keith’s breathing returns to normal and the tension drains out of him, and Lance doesn’t really care. He’d stay here all night if it would help Keith with his nightmares.

An idea pops into Lance’s head.

When he used to have nightmares as a kid, his parents would always let him crawl into their bed and sleep there to stave them off. There was just something about having another person close by that had allowed Lance to sleep better. So, when it seems like Keith has calmed down, Lance grabs him by the hand and pulls him to his feet.

“Where are we going?” Keith asks.

Lance pulls him into the hallway, blushing slightly, “My bedroom. It’s easier for me to overcome nightmares when someone is sleeping close by, and it might help you too.” He’s really glad it’s dark otherwise Keith would see how magnificently red his face is.

Keith’s voice sounds quite breathless when he says, “Okay.”

Even though the bed is big enough that they call fall asleep on opposite sides without touching, they wake up tangled in each other.

And Lance doesn’t mind one bit.

One day, almost two months later, Lance decides that they’re going on a picnic. It’s a beautiful day in late August, one of the last before Lance has to go back to work. He’s starting his second year as a teacher at the Garrison and he’s honestly really excited.

“What are you gonna do all day while I’m gone?” Lance had asked Keith.

Keith had given him one of his dry stares, “Enjoy every second that I don’t hear you singing at the top of your lungs.”

“You know you love it.” Lance had teased, nudging Keith playfully. He definitely noticed when Keith didn’t deny it.

Now, Lance is sitting on the picnic blanket with Keith, and he’s definitely not staring. Nope not at all. The afternoon sunlight definitely does not frame Keith like a halo making him look even more beautiful than he already is. Seriously, who gave Keith the right? Not for the first time, Lance debates telling Keith about the soulmate thing. He knows he’s procrastinating it, he won’t even deny that. Lance picks at some nearby flowers, twisting them in his hands as he thinks.

He could just give Keith the note he wrote all those months ago, but it doesn’t feel relevant anymore. The Lance that had written that note didn’t know that Keith was his soulmate. So much had changed and Lance had only fallen more and more in love with Keith.

He really should tell Keith. Keith has a right to know who his soulmate is, and Lance feels a little guilty that he hasn’t let him know. But everytime he wants to tell Keith, he gets all worked up and nervous and chickens out. He’s pretty sure he knows how Keith feels, but there’s still the nagging thought in the back of his mind that says ‘ what if you’re wrong?’.

“Keith,” Lance sighs and puts down the flowers, making a split second decision to just spit it out, “I need to tell you something.”

Keith raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t say anything so Lance takes it as his cue to continue.

“I… well I didn’t tell you the whole truth. About how we found you,” Geez why did this have to be so hard. His heart is beating so fast that Lance thinks it might just burst out of his chest, and Keith is sitting there looking so freaking beautiful in the sunlight with the slight confusion on his face and Lance thinks he might actually spontaneously combust.

Lance takes a deep breath to try in vain to slow his heart and says, “The Aelle didn’t just have the ability to find random people, although that would be pretty cool, we’d always know where to go if someone got lost. Like we’d just roll up to their planet and be all like ‘whaddup guys, we lost Dave can y’all help us find him?’ and they’d be like ‘ya sure we got you’ and then we’d like high five or whatever-”

“Lance.” Keith cuts him off with a chuckle, “You’re rambling.”

Lance takes another deep breath, “Right sorry.” He runs his hands through his hair, why are they shaking so badly? It’s just Keith, it’s not like Keith is going to hate him or anything, it’s just telling Keith that they are literal soulmates. No big deal, right?

“Okay, so the Aelle is able to find people through their soulmates. I’m not too sure how it works, but… um, I’m your soulmate. So that’s how we found you, and yeah.” Lance picks at a thread on the blanket, refusing to look at Keith, “And I know I should’ve told you sooner, but I was just nervous, and you had literally died Keith, and I guess I was just waiting for the ‘right time’ but there’s never really a ‘right time’ is there?”

“Lance,” Keith says softly, “I know.”

Lance’s head whips up so fast that he thinks his neck might have cracked, “You what?”

This time, it’s Keith who isn’t looking at Lance, “I know that we’re soulmates.” His voice is so quiet that Lance can barely hear him.

Wait what? “How?”

Keith sighs and runs his hands through his hair. Lance knows him well enough to know that he is thinking through what to say next, so Lance waits.

“I- uh…” Keith beings, but then his eyebrows furrow. The look of frustration is so dang cute on him and Lance just wants to pull Keith closer and kiss him senseless and woah not the time Lance.

“How did you feel when I died?” Keith finally says, pinning him with those brilliant eyes.

That’s not what Lance expected Keith to ask, and he inwardly cringes at the memory of it, “It was the worst pain I’ve ever experienced in my life.” He confesses, “It felt like I was being ripped apart and lit on fire. I thought I was actually going to die.”

Keith nods, and his eyes are bright with understanding, “I know. You died too.”

Lance freezes as he remembers. He remembers waking up to see Allura, he remembers her explaining what had happened.

“It was the middle of the night, and I woke up screaming. I saw what happened in a dream.” Keith continues, “Krolia knew what it meant, and she explained it to me.”

“That was when you were on the space whale, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah.”

“Keith…” Lance has no idea what to say. This means Keith has known for years . He’s known for years that he and Lance are soulmates but he never said anything.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Keith snorts, “It’s not like I ever got a spare moment. As soon as I got back, everything went down with Lotor and Shiro and then we lost the Castle of Lions and we were focused on flying back to earth and all of a sudden I had to lead Voltron again. And when we got stranded in space I genuinely thought you hated me.” His voice is small and Lance cringes at the memory.

“I never hated you.”

Keith offers a weak smile, “I know that now. But back then I didn’t. And then we got to earth and we were so focused on Sendak’s invasion and then you and Allura happened. And what kind of person would I be, ‘hey Lance, I know you’re going on a date with Allura tonight and you’ve been crushing on her for years and she’s your dream girl, but I’m your soulmate!’ There was no way I was going to drop that on you.” Keith draws his knees up to his chest, and his voice is laced with sadness as he continues, “Then Allura died, and I knew that you didn’t need me to be your soulmate, you just needed me to be your friend. So that’s what I was, what I am.”

“Keith-”

“Just because we’re soulmates, doesn’t mean you have to like me or anything though. I’ve done some research, some soulmates never even find each other, so it’s not like there’s consequences if they don’t end up together. The future isn’t written in stone. You fell in love with someone else, and that’s okay, all I want is for you to be happy, and I know-”

“Keith!” Lance reaches out and grabs his hands, stopping Keith’s tirade, “I’m the rambler, remember?” Keith doesn’t say anything, he just looks at Lance with those sad, sad eyes. Lance swallows and ponders his next words carefully. He wants to say them just right, he wants Keith to know just how much he cares.

“I did love Allura.” He says slowly, “After she died, everyone treated me like I was glass, like I could break at any second, and I hated it. It made me feel weak and useless. Until you came. You never treated me like I was weak, you never made me feel useless. When you were around for those first few months after her death, I felt strong again. I started to feel like my old self again. I thought that Lance had been lost in the war, but you helped me find him again.

“And then you had to leave again for the Blade, and I felt so lost without you. I was so scared that something would happen and we’d never see each other again. Every time you visited I felt so giddy with happiness that I thought I’d combust. The world seemed like it was brighter when you were around, I felt more capable, I felt stronger. It took me too long to realize why, and almost too long to tell you why.”

Lance has loosened his grip on Keith’s hands, but he still doesn’t release them, “I almost lost you Keith.” He chokes on the sob that’s wedged its way up his throat.

“I’m here Lance.” Keith says softly, his eyes shining.

“I thought you were dead, and my biggest regret was that I never got to tell you how I feel.” Keith’s eyes go wide as Lance shifts positions so that he’s kneeling in front of him.

“Keith Kogane,” Lance says, “I love you. I have for a long time.”

Keith’s mouth drops open as a tear spills down his cheek, “Say it again?” He whispers.

“I love you.”

Keith smiles then, and Lance is nearly blinded by it’s brilliance, “You love me.” The way he says it makes Lance’s heart squeeze. It’s like it’s a sacred truth, something to be revered.

“I do.”

“I love you too.”

Lance can’t resist, he surges forwards and pulls Keith into a tight hug, but the momentum carries them both backwards until they’re laying side by side on the picnic blanket, arms and legs tangled in each other. They’re both laughing and Lance thinks they might both be crying too, but he’s too happy to care.

“I love you!” He says, brushing some of Keith’s hair out of his face.

“I love you.” Keith whispers as he pulls Lance’s face closer, “And I really want to kiss you.”

This is it. Lance is going to combust and die right here in Keith’s arms. He’s really going to miss being alive, but he’s pretty sure his heart has stopped and it’s all Keith’s fault.

“I-” Lance’s mind has shut down and his only thought is Keith. He wants so badly to close the distance between them, but he won’t. He wants Keith to decide, he wants this to be Keith’s choice. Not something forced upon him.

Lance finds his voice, “I really want to kiss you too.” He croaks.

That seems to be all the encouragement Keith needs. He closes the distance between them and gently presses their lips together. It’s chaste and sweet and short, and Lance honestly fears what would happen if they kissed for longer because his heart still feels like it’s stopped and he’s feeling a little dizzy. He pulls back slightly, his movement made awkward by the fact that they’re still lying on the ground and hopelessly tangled in each other. Keith’s eyes are still closed, his lips parted slightly, and Lance can’t help but pull him in for another kiss. His heart restarts as Keith tilts his head to deepen the kiss, and Lance reciprocates. Lance pours all of his feelings, all of his love into the kiss. He kisses Keith like he’s a drowning man and Keith is the air he needs, and Keith kisses back just as passionately. Lance just knows he is going to drown in the ocean of Keith.  

He doesn’t end up drowning, but it comes quite close. 

Hours later they return to the house hand in hand.

Lance doesn’t remember a time when he ever felt so happy.

Chapter Text

One Year Later

Lance can see his target through the doorway. The target’s back is to him, so Lance is fairly certain it remains unsuspecting of his approach. Lance crouches low, using the low light as a cover, and slowly inches closer. The gun he holds in his hand isn’t the same as his bayard, but it’s nice to have the familiar weight there. The target shifts positions slightly and Lance freezes, hoping beyond hope that he hasn’t been noticed. He holds his breath for what seems like an eternity, before slowly resuming his approach. Stealth is key, and Lance prays that none of the floorboards squeak and he ever so slowly gets within range. There’s a radio playing soft music in the background, but he still avoids making any unnecessary sounds.

Just a few more steps then he stops. He’s almost at the doorway, and from this angle he has a perfect shot. He raises his gun and lines it up, takes a moment to just breathe, before putting his finger on the trigger. His whole body is tense with anticipation as he lets out a breath then-

“Lance, if you’re going to ambush me with a nerf gun at least do it quietly.” Keith says, turning to face him, “I can hear you breathing from a mile away.”

Lance nails him right in the chest. Keith doesn’t flinch, he just levels Lance with an unimpressed stare. 

“It’s not my fault you have heightened Galra hearing,” Lance whines, lowering the nerf gun, “And besides, I’m out of practice.”

“I’m not!” 

Lance shrieks and ducks as Keith throws a dishrag his way. It hits the wall behind him with a wet smack. Lance rolls out of the way as another dishrag comes flying. He pops up behind the island and nails Keith’s arm with a nerf dart, and ducks behind the island.

“I’ve got you twice now, you’re double dead!”

“You have the advantage of a weapon,” Keith responds, “I’m just using what I have on hand.”

Lance pops his head over the island, but Keith has disappeared from the sink. He’s just about to crouch down again when he gets tackled from the side. He goes tumbling to the floor, the nerf gun skidding across the kitchen and bumping into the fridge, and then Keith has him pinned.

“I win.” He says, grinning.

Lance raises an eyebrow, “Do you? Because I could totally fight back and kick your butt.”

“Oh?” Keith replies, leaning down so their noses brush and when he speaks next his voice comes out low, “But do you want to?”

Lance gulps. Keith knows him too well. So he accepts surrender and pulls Keith into a kiss. It doesn’t last long because they’re both grinning like idiots, but Lance doesn’t mind. He doesn’t mind at all because it’s Keith he’s kissing and he cherishes every single one.

“I love you so much.” Lance murmurs, and he’s rewarded with a light dusting of pink on Keith’s cheeks.

“I love you too you big sap.” Keith responds, sitting up and pulling Lance with him. Even though it’s been a year, Lance still feels a thrill every time he hears Keith say it. Lance just keeps falling more and more in love with him as time goes on. He’s in love with everything about him. He loves the way Keith pokes his tongue out when he’s drawing. He loves how Keith always insists on washing the dishes, even if he was the one that cooked. He loves how Keith inhales ice cream despite the fact that he’s lactose intolerant. He loves how focused Keith is when something needs to be done. He loves that Keith is literally the cuddliest person in the universe, but would never tell that to anyone. He loves how much Keith cares about other people. He loves that Keith is a little awkward in social situations. He loves that Keith can be a little blunt. He loves that they sleep with a lamp on because Keith is afraid of the dark now. He just loves Keith.

“Hey,” Lance says, pulling Keith close again, “You’re wearing my shirt again.”

“Oh, am I?” Keith replies, too innocently.

“Yes. That one’s my favourite.”

“Well you’re wearing my shirt, so it evens out.” Keith replies, brushing his nose along Lance’s cheek.

Lance glances down at himself, and true to Keith’s words, he is. Honestly at this point they basically share a wardrobe.

“It’s not my fault that it looks better on-” Lance freezes as he hears the opening notes of the song playing on the radio.

“Looks better on...?” Keith prompts, but Lance has abandoned the conversation entirely.

“Keith!” He clambers to his feet, knocking Keith off his lap in the process, “Listen!”

“Listen to what?” Keith doesn’t resist as Lance pulls him to his feet and yanks him into the middle of the kitchen.

“The song!” Lance cries.

We can leave the Christmas lights up ‘til January

“What about it?” Keith asks, and Lance practically shrieks.

“Haven’t you heard it before?” He says, “It’s Taylor Swift! T-Swizzle! The greatest artist the music industry has ever seen?”

Keith raises an eyebrow, “No? Maybe? Is she the one that did Folklore?”

“Yes! Of course you would know Folklore, but this isn’t from that.” Lance pulls him closer, “This is my favourite song ever, and we are going to dance to it!”

Have I known you twenty seconds, or twenty years?

“Okay?” Keith raises an eyebrow, but he doesn’t protest as Lance guides Keith’s hands to his shoulders and places his own on Keith’s hips. Lance pulls him closer, swaying gently.

“Keith, babe, darling, honey, my one true love,” Lance says, “I have dreamed of slow dancing in the kitchen with my significant other to this song for years.”

Keith laughs and Lance twirls him. Keith stumbles a bit, but Lance catches him, pulling him close to his chest.

I’ve loved you three summers now, honey, but I want ‘em all

Lance is so incandescently happy as he guides Keith in a dance around the kitchen. Keith’s face is flushed with laughter, his eyes bright and shining, and Lance realizes that he wants this forever. He wants Keith forever.

Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close forever and ever?

They’ve been through so much together, and Lance wouldn’t change a second of it. All of the pain, all of the heartache led them to this. Against all odds, they found each other and they fell in love. Lance is so in love with Keith that it hurts. He can’t imagine living, existing , without him. Keith is his best friend, his other half, his soulmate, his lover.

“Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand?” Lance sings, swinging Keith into another twirl. He misses the next lyric because of Keith’s bright laughter, but when he pulls Keith close again, he sings gently, brushing the hair out of his face. This isn’t how he planned on doing it, but the moment feels so right.

“I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover.” He reaches into his pocket.

“My heart’s been borrowed and yours has been blue,” He pulls the small box out of his pocket.

“All’s well that ends well to end up with you,” He gets down on one knee, and Keith’s hands fly to his mouth.

“Swear to be overdramatic and true to my lover.” He opens the box, and his voice comes out choked when he speaks again, “Keith, will you marry me?”

Keith drops to his knees in front of Lance, and Lance wishes he had a camera to capture the joy and happiness that is radiating from him.

“Only,” Keith says, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his own little box, “If you marry me.”

And Lance really can’t help the tears that start because Keith is smiling at him with a face full of love, and Lance is head over heels for him. He’s so in love with Keith, and he knows that he will always be in love with him. He should’ve seen how doomed he was from the start, because he’s pretty sure he’s going to spend the rest of his life falling in love with Keith.

“Yes!” He practically launches himself at Keith and kisses him fiercely.

“Yes.” He says between kisses, “Yes, yes, yes.” 

Darling you’re my, my, my…

My lover

Many Years Ago

The pain has disappeared, but Keith can still feel it, like a phantom limb. Maybe it’s not the pain itself, but the implication of the pain that hurts. Because the pain means that his soulmate died. That Lance died. But he’s seen Lance in so many visions of the future, so he’s not too sure what to think. Is it possible that Lance died and came back somehow?

The star pulses and Keith groans. He’s not in the mood for one of the weird visions right now. Krolia is asleep, which means he’ll have to go through it alone. He clenches his teeth, squeezes his eyes shut, and braces for it. 

When his eyes open, he’s standing in an unfamiliar living room. There’s a bay window behind him, and he can see rolling fields of pink flowers beyond it.

“Addie!” 

A young girl, probably about seven or eight years old comes barreling in the room, closely followed by a younger boy.

“Addie!” The boy calls again, “Give it back!”

Addie bolts for the window seat and Keith reflexively steps out of the way. She’s holding a pair of binoculars and she uses them to look out the window at something in the distance.

“Papa said it’s my turn!” She says.

“My turn isn’t done!” The boy pouts, clambering onto the window seat with Addie. He tugs her arm and she retaliates by shoving him off the seat. He hits the floor with a thud that makes Keith cringe and promptly bursts into tears.

“Wait, no shhhh,” Addie hops off the seat and tries to stifle the boy’s crying, “Timmy, don’t cry. If you stop crying I’ll let you have the binoculars back.”

Keith is confused. He doesn’t recognize this place or the children, otherwise he’d think this was one of the foster homes he lived in. The children are clearly human so that rules out any of Krolia’s memories. As far as he knows, his father is one of the very few humans Krolia encountered.

Maybe this was a vision of the future? But the visions of the future are never this clear, so he doesn’t know what to think.

Keith and the kids turn at the sound of someone yelling in spanish from another part of the house. Timmy cries even louder.

“Addie pushed me!” He wails.

“Timmy’s a crybaby!” Addie counters.

The owner of the voice appears in the room and Keith can’t believe his eyes. 

He’s older, and taller, and he has Altean marks on his cheekbones, but it’s unmistakably Lance. His eyes are still the same sparkling blue, but they look older and more mature.

“Give me the binoculars.” He says, approaching the children and holding out his hand. They both immediately begin protesting.

“But Papa, Timmy was taking too long-”

“Addie just took them from me and ran-”

“-and I wanted a turn.”

“-and I chased her but she pushed me!”

Lance silences them with a wave of his hand, “Give me the binoculars. The agreement was that you share without arguing.” 

Addie crosses her arms, “It’s Timmy’s fault.” She says, glaring at the boy. 

This must be the future then , Keith thinks. He wonders if these are Lance’s children. But they bear little resemblance to him. Addie’s hair colour is similar but it’s a mess of curls and her eyes are a bright green. Timmy’s eyes are blue, but they’re paler than Lance’s and his hair is a blonde that is so fair, it almost looks white. They did call him Papa, so maybe they bear more resemblance to their mother.

“Addie...” There’s an edge to Lance’s voice, but Addie stubbornly turns away from him and resumes looking out the window.

“Addison Emma Kogane-McClain, if you don’t give me those binoculars right now you’re going to bed and you won’t get to wait up for Daddy to come home.”

A jolt goes through Keith and he freezes. Did he hear that right? Had Lance really said Kogane-McClain? He watches in a daze as Addie reluctantly hands over the binoculars. He doesn’t listen as Lance pulls the two children close and talks with them in a stern, but loving tone. Keith starts to notice more details in the room around him. There’s a fireplace and it’s littered with photos. Curious, Keith wanders closer to get a better look. The one in the middle catches his eye.

It’s him and Lance, both in white suits, standing together. The look he’s giving Lance is one that Keith had never expected himself to wear. It’s full of adoration and love. Before he can scrutinize the photos further he hears a door open and the kids both shoot off of the window seat with loud cries.

“Daddy!” 

Keith follows the kids out of the room into what looks like a front hallway. There’s a man there that had crouched to pull the kids into his arms. Keith can’t see his face, but the shaggy black hair is painfully familiar. So is the giant space wolf that is lingering outside the open front door. 

The man stands up as Lance enters the room and Keith is met face to face with himself. This version is much older, and there’s a nasty scar on his cheek, but his face is shining with happiness as Lance engulfs him in a hug. Timmy is clinging to his waist while Addie is practically bouncing from excitement.

“Welcome home.” Lance says, giving Keith a quick kiss.

And then Keith is sitting on the space whale again, blinking furiously. 

He exhales heavily and puts his head in his hands. The visions of the future were never that clear, but this one had felt like Keith was there with his future self. His future self that had children and a husband. His future self that had married Lance . 

Logically he knows that the future isn’t set in stone and that it can change at any second, and that this is probably never going to actually happen, but Keith can’t help but hold onto this vision. He tucks it away, hides it deep within his heart and clings to it.

It feels like a promise.

A promise of love.