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The Spy on Hawk

Summary:

“Charter, I need you to keep an eye on this peddler.”

“I understand, but why the Peddler?”

The peddler. Everyone knew him as Hawk. Hawk without the ‘e’ as he would loudly proclaim, making sure no one would mistake him for the Champion.

==

In a nutshell: Hawk making a fool of himself.

Parent fic: That 'Hawk' Agent is Weird

Notes:

Chapter 1: Moves like Jagger!

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

==

Day 1

==

“Charter, I need you to keep an eye on this peddler.”

“Peddler, Ma’am?”

“It won’t be too difficult for you, wouldn’t it?”  Leliana said as she picked up an amulet with a crest that bared the symbol of feline animal.  “It’s only for the next seven days before you leave for the mission that I gave you yesterday.”

Charter was currently her new name, but she had a different name before all this.  She had done remarkable feats that Leliana reached out to her personally, offering her a job in the Inquisition.  She understood the ‘mission’, but this ‘task’?  So much less.

The peddler.  Everyone knew him as Hawk.  Hawk without the ‘e’ as he would loudly proclaim, making sure no one would mistake him for the Champion.  The guy was… tactless.

“I understand, but why the Peddler?”

“…He arrived the day the Breach opened,” Leliana said.  “Then, he gave away all his wares and took up a blade to fight… Admirable, but…it sounds too good to be true.  Even after the breach had stabilized, he stayed and offered his service in battle.  So far, he’s been an interesting recruit, but his luck in gathering materials is quite… odd.”

“Ma’am?”

“He goes out every day, a few hours before sunrise, taking his nuggalope and his wagon with him.  Then they come back at nine bells with herbs, ores, kills…” she said.  “The odd thing is that he keeps bringing more every day.  What he gathered would take three days to fill a wagon.”

“…You think he’s hiding more supplies and bringing in more to show favoritism to the Inquisition?” Charter asked, already catching on and finding it suspicious as well.

“…Be discreet,” Leliana said.  “…Although, I don’t think you would even have to worry.”

He goes out every day, a few hours before sunrise…

Charter grumbled, watching the tent from afar where this Hawk was sleeping.  Who would wake up at this ungodly hour?  Even the guardsmen at his post had fallen asleep once or twice.  It was completely dark out still, and yet he would go out and scavenge herbs?  Humans didn’t have good eyesight in the dark, so why?

The tent’s flap folded open, and Hawk stepped right out, already in gear and in a coat.

Hawk shivered from the cold breeze, hugging himself and blew hot air into his hands.  “Cold, so fucking cold!” He muttered under his breath as he hurried to leave the tent, heading over to the stables.

Charter would watch him work in slow movements as if his actions would wake the entire town up.  Hawk even placed a finger on his lips, shooshing his nuggalope, and the nug listened.  Then Hawk grabbed her head, rubbing his forehead on hers, mouthing…

The elven scout moved closer to listen in--

“—cute!  My nuggle-wuggle-buggle-muggle-duggle-luggle!  Yes, you are…!  Yes, you are!  No one is as cute as you—”

It took all of Charter’s strength not to break down laughing.  What… in the world?  Who would baby their mounts like it’s a puppy?  Apparently, this ‘peddler’.  Was this an act?  Did he know he was being watched?

Mwuah-mwuah-mwuah!”  Kissing sounds were made.  “I love you so much, my little Nugsy.  Want some Nom-noms?  Do you want nom-noms?  I have nom-noms!

The nuggalope cooed loudly and excitedly before Hawk shoosh her frantically and then gave her what looked like biscuits.

Meanwhile, Charter bit down on her thumb, causing pain to prevent her from laughing.

Oh Maker… The task had only begun, and it was already so difficult.

After that adorable, hilarious scene, things only became more arduous for Charter as she tried to understand and speculate the actions of this… queer peddler.

They were now in the outlands of Haven where the druffalo roamed.  Hawk had released his Nugget into the wild, who now went up to the druffalos to play.  They were also still sleeping, so they wanted nothing to do with her.  The nuggalope then laid down by the wagon, cooing in sadness as his owner petted her to console her.

‘…This man is so in love with his nug,’ Charter noted.  ‘He’s so…effeminate in a way.’

She wondered when was he going to show hidden supply cache.

“Hey!  Who’s there!?”  Hawk suddenly shouted.

Charter flinched and her thoughts flew into a panic.  What?  How did he know?  She didn’t make any noise, and she was clearly out of view.  His eyes are not that good…Can they?

“Come out!!  I know you’re there!!”

Charter crunched the snow in her hands.  Should she come out?  If she did that, she would have failed in this simple task, and it hasn’t even been an hour yet!  What should she do?

Seconds passed as she waited for footsteps to come to the shrubbery that she was hiding behind in.  The elf watched him peering around the forest as if he was trying to spot her.

“…Okay, good!  No one’s here!”  Hawk said happily aloud.

Charter’s jaw drop.  Wait… wait… was that… a fucking FIB?!  Did he just shout that out to see if someone would come out?  Oh… she was even considering on coming out!!  She had stolen the plans of a General in Markham and even walked through the front door with them!  She had even revealed a conspiracy against the crown of Hercinia!

...If she had fall for that stupid trap, she would have lost all her credibility.

She did not like this Hawk.

“Alright!  Time to warm up!”

Now what is that Idiot doing?’  Charter wondered, quite fed up now with this peddler.  She nearly fell for his trick, and he didn’t even know that someone was watching him.  At all!

...Wait… what is he doing?

Charter watched in confusion as he arched his arms left and right, and then bent down to touch his toes.  Was he stretching?  Hawk even started to march in place, and each time his knee would go up, his hand would tap it.  He did that for a minute, and then he did another strange movement.  He started jumping, waving his arms up and down, synchronizing with his legs.  He counted under his breath up to thirty.  Then he stood up straight, stretching his arms and legs, before he squatted, but then he stood up again.  Then squat.  And then up again.

This peddler wasn’t queer… he was crazy.

Ten minutes passed when Hawk finally finished whatever he was doing.

“Alright!  Let’s do this!” He shouted to himself, making exaggerated air punches.

Charter leaned in now, narrowing her brows.  Wait… was he really…?

Hawk looked left and right, before spotting something in the snow.  His face lit up as he walked towards it.  He hunched down and uncovered a tall elf root, hidden and buried by the snow.  Charter’s jaw drop.  How did he know it was there?  She couldn’t even see it!  He must have a really, good eye.

For the next couple of hours, even passed sun rise, Hawk diligently worked on finding herbs in the hidden snow.  Charter had given up asking herself how he would know to find them, he would just…find it.  Not only that, but he gotten close to the cliffs and he used a pick axe to take some iron and pile it on the wagon.

Charter could see the wagon was nearly full.  That’s just not possible.  It would take several people in the span of days to find and gather as much as he did in a couple of hours.

♪ “Just shoot for the stars, if it feels right, then aim for my heart!  If you feel like, and take me away, and make it okay!  I swear I'll behave!”  ♫

And then the singing…

Just… he was a very good singer, but… he had sung this song fourteen times in a row now.  How many times did he have to sing it?  Also, it was a sung that she had never heard before.  It was annoyingly catchy.

What’s worse… it was getting stuck in her head.

♫ “Take me by the tongue and I'll know you, uh!  Kiss me till you're drunk and I'll show you!  You want the moves like Jagger!  I've got them moves like Jagger!  I've got them mooOOOOooooooOOOOoooooves like Jagger!” ♪

If she ever met this Jagger, she was going to kill the bastard.

Notes:

This is my attempt in humor, but it also helps me see how the residents of Haven, especially Charter, would perceive Hawk (without the E) of his queer antics.

But yes, this is purely for comedy.

Chapter 2: Spaghetti!

Chapter Text

==

Day 2

==

Hawk’s routine from yesterday repeats today, Charter noted.  Somehow, he would always wake up a few hours before dawn as the rumors say.  Granted, he turns in early for the night.  He repeats the same ceremonial greeting with his giant war nug before venturing out to the outskirts of Haven, collecting per usual.  His singing also returned, but this time with a different song.

♪ “Ain’t it fun?  Living in the real world?  Ain’t it good?  Being all alone?  Ain’t it good to be on your own?  Ain’t it fun you can’t count on no one?” ♫

Charter was writing down some of the lyrics on this observation in case such a song does exist somewhere in Thedas.  She noted that Hawk didn’t seem like the original composer, considering he would mumble incoherent words over the missing verses.  Something to note, he would never repeat these songs when other people are present.

Today, he gathered only half of what he found yesterday, which is still surprising.  Even Charter herself couldn’t beat that record.

Right after he delivered the goods to Threnn, Recruit Hawk would be back at the training grounds, learning how to use a sword and shield.

Charter noted, ‘Hawk has some form of fighting, but is unfamiliar with a sword, or any weapon, for that matter.  He did have a smaller version of a maul-hammer weapon with the fight against the demons.  Still, instead of improving that hold, he wanted to learn a new style.

“Hawk!  What did I say about your shield?” Lieutenant Rylen scolded him.  “Hold it up better!  At this rate, you’ll never be able to block a blow!  Do you want to get your head crack like an egg?”

OYE, Lieutenant!  Talking is for loooooosseeerrs!! …SIR!

As if adding ‘sir’ would make it nicer, Charter was not impressed, neither was the lieutenant.  Either Hawk was really annoyed for all the times his ass got handed to him, or he was just being an impossible…brat.

Rylen promptly mop the floor with him.

“Hawk!  You disrespecting brat!”

“Ow!  Ow, ow, ow!  Mercy!  MERCY!  Dude, I’m sorry!”

Then Charter found herself smiling.  If she ever had an annoying little brother, it would be him… Wait.  What was she thinking?  It was only the second day after all.  He can’t be that likeable.  True, that so far, this shem has been acting like a moron, but…perhaps his tactless trait made him less suspicious?  Is that his game?

She frowned.  No. Can’t be.  It would be exhausting to act like an idiot all the time.

“Recruit, you’re gonna get a flogging one day.”  Rylen snarled.

Hawk cringed.  “Sir…?  I’m not into that stuff.  I mean, it’s cool if you are, but leave me out of it.”

Hawk!!”  Rylen’s face reddened.  “ARGH!  Take a lap, Recruit!”

“Awwwe man!”  He complained before running off.

Charter sighed at the boy’s antics.  How old was he anyway?

After today’s training, Charter followed Hawk from afar as she watched him enter Adan’s hut.  However, as he was heading there, he spotted the resident, elven apostate, Solas.  Charter’s senses were crying out that Solas was dangerous, but he did assist with the Breach’s stabilization and kept the Herald alive.  So for now, he was an ally of the Inquisition.

Anyhow, the two made eye contact.  Rather, Hawk halted in his steps, staring at Solas.  Solas stared back questionably.

Then, slowly, Hawk turned forward, heading right into the hut, without even a greeting.  Solas looked after him strangely before he turned away, shaking his head.

Well, that was awkward.  Charter wondered if Hawk knew the apostate, or was he uncomfortable with mages?

It couldn’t be the latter… because if he was uncomfortable with mages, he should have been more nervous around Adan, and even more so with a tranquil.

When Charter moved around back to watch from an open window, she spotted Hawk chatting happily with Avexis.  She was Cassandra’s ward, and the Seeker constantly made sure that she was okay.  For some reason,  Hawk started chatting with her.  Charter had no idea when and how long they had been chatting, but it’s a daily occurrence.  He even talked to her yesterday.  It boggled the elven spy to no end how Hawk can talk to a tranquil so cheerily as if…  as if they weren’t walking dead people.

She moved a little closer to the window, listening in.

“…Or bow and arrow?  You’d be a badass assassin!”

Tranquil?  As an assassin?  What was he suggesting??

Avexis responded.  “…If that is what you prefer.”

Only if you think you prefer it,” He told her.  “Besides, it’ll be fun.  You could kick ass and take names like a badass!”

Kick ass and take names?  What did that mean?  Charter understood the kick ass, but take names.  She never got to find that out, but she can speculate from the sentence alone that it meant taking someone’s identity?

“…Like Cassandra…?”  Avexis asked, and Charter could have sworn she heard wonder in her tone.

Hawk confirmed.  “Like badass Cassandra.”  

Charter noted that Hawk regarded Seeker Cassandra’s fighting ability rather highly enough to be labelled ‘badass’.  This one she couldn’t disagree.  The Seeker did ride three dragons and kill them one by one, right?  That’s why she’s the Hero of Orlais.

Adan soon shooed Hawk away when he was disturbing Avexis too much, and so this time, Hawk went to the tavern.

When he arrived, he made his way straight into the kitchen after exchanging greetings with Flissa.  Charter waited a few moments before she took her seat and Flissa went to serve her.

“What will you have?”  Flissa asked.

“Water.  Also, was that Hawk?”  Charter asked, acting casual over it.  “Why is he in the kitchen?”

“Ohh, you know him?”  Flissa asked though rhetorically as she continued, “Well, actually, the whole town knows him.  He’s quite strange, isn’t he?  A little odd ball, but he has some good recipes.”

“Recipes?  He cooks too?”  Charter asked, this time, curiously.

Flissa then poured her a drink.  “Ohhh, yes!  Remember dinner last night?  Spaghetti?  That’s his grandmother’s recipe.”

Charter’s eyes flew open as she did remember the pasta last night.  It was different from Antivan pasta, and much more flavorful.  Granted, it had more seasonings. 

“He made that?”

“Yes.  And it was so tasty!”  Flissa said, then she leaned in to whisper to the elf.  “He even gave away two large bags of salt to us!  Do you know how expensive those are?  And they’re bigger bags than usual.  It could last us for the next several months.”

Charter began to wonder why Hawk was just a peddler rather than a travelling, rich merchant with such goods.

“Is he making it again?” Charter asked as she swallowed a bit, recalling the tiny pieces of succulent meat, coated in a thick tomato-goodness sauce with little bits of onion, garlic, basil, and other spices.  The sweetness and tanginess of the sauce was held together with the taste of grated, melted parmesan dusted on top.  (A/N: You hungry yet?  Lol)

“Yes.  The cooks are learning it so they can serve it without his instruction for both lunch and dinner, instead of just only dinner,” Flissa answered.

Charter wanted to go into the kitchen to watch but she’ll just have to debrief with the cooks later tonight when Hawk retires for the evening.

--

The spaghetti was delicious.  Enough said.

Charter watched Hawk visiting his Nugget and giving him some more baked goods before retiring to his tent that early evening.  Then, she went to go talk with the cooks.

The cooks were both elven girls, Ririll and Nenni, serving in the kitchen, and they both gushed over Hawk and his cooking.  He taught them step by step yesterday, and today, he let them prepare it, but he was right by their side, coaching them and encouraging them.  Overall, the guy was their favorite shem.  He said a lot of silly things, but he treated them like they were equals.

“What sort of silly things?”  Charter questioned.

“Like this, ahem,” Ririll cleared her throat.  “…What do you get when you throw butter out the window?”

Charter’s brows furrowed.  “…Wouldn’t it just splatter?”

Ririll snorted.  “Ha!  No!  Nenni, what do you get when you throw butter out the window?”

Butter-fly!!” Nenni hit the punchline and they both started giggling over it.

“Hahaha!  Isn’t that funny?”

“Haha!  Don’t you mean too punny?

“Hawk is so adorable!”

All the while, Charter did her damnedest to fucking keep a straight, face.  She will not laugh over such a ridiculous, stupid, corny pun.  She refused!!

Charter cleared his throat.  “Well… was there anything else?”

Ririll tilted her head.  “You mean more jokes?”

“No, no,” Charter crossed her arms.  “I mean, anything strange?”

“Well… he’s already strange, even for a shem,” Ririll said.

Nenni nodded, agreeing.  “That is true… He is loud.”

“Obnoxious too.  I always hear plenty of people getting annoyed by him, but…”

“He lacks table manners for being such an excellent cook.”

“Oh, he’s clumsy too!  He stubbed his little pinkie-two twice today.”

“Haha!  He did!”

Both ladies thought about it longer on what else they had to say about Hawk before they glanced back at Charter.

Nenni then said, “If you mean that he’s dangerous… then I doubt it.”

So just Hawk being his nonsensical self.  Charter thought as she sighed a bit.  There was a lot of information shared about Hawk, but not what she was looking for.  It was getting to the point where this assignment may bear fruitless.

“Oh!  There was something,” Ririll suddenly piped in.  “We asked for his name.  His real name.  I heard Hawk was just his family’s last name, but when we did, he just… stared.  Like he was thinking… We never got the answer when Flissa came to the kitchen and told us off for standing around instead of working.”

Charter frowned deeply at that.  His name?

That’s right… what is his first name?

Announcements:

Still working on the next chapter for “That Hawk Agent is weird”

Expect a release on the weekend!

For now, I hope you enjoyed this filler!

Chapter 3: Secret Compartments in the Wagon

Chapter Text

==

Day 3

==

Charter sent someone else to validate the recruit’s first name, and it turned out that he didn’t list his name at all.  Just the surname Hawk---emphasis on without the ‘e’.  He was very insistent on not being related to the Champion of Kirkwall.  And it was true, he seemed too thin and scrawny to even resemble the description that Varric Tethras wrote about Garrett Hawke.

His skin was also darker, meaning he could be someone from the north, but his accent is hard to place at exactly where.

Out of everywhere Charter has been, Hawk’s accent had to come from nowhere.  Sure, there was a hint of Orzhammar in there, but once he started using unfamiliar phrases, everything was different.

♪“I’mma get a scholarship to King’s college!  I probably shouldn’t brag, but dang, I amazed and astonish!  The problem is I gotta lotta brains but no polish!  I gotta holler just to be heard with every word, I drop knowledge!” ♫

Charter raised her brow skeptically as she leaned against the bark of the tree, hanging out on branch, watching over the peddler closely.

How can someone sing so energetically when the break of dawn hasn’t come yet?  Is he always so happy?

Was he even singing?  Or speaking?  Speak-singing?  She wasn’t sure what it was, and it was so… odd, though the song blended with his accent very well.  She had to admit that it was very…catchy, like all his other songs.  Though she couldn’t write them down this time when most of the words he was saying was gibberish.  Sure, there were words she understood, but just like the one yesterday, he would utter out nonsensical jumbled words for the missing lyrics.  Though some she heard right but never understood, like what a Nyu-York-City was, or a gahn.

“I am the---” Hawk stopped short as his head whipped to a certain tree, like a deer hearing a suspicious noise.

Charter sat up straight to watch what he was going.  He took out a sling of some sort and then he picked up a rock.  He spun the sling around, his eyes on the tree.  Then, he let the stone fly and there was a high-pitched squeak.  A second after, a robin fell out of the tree and into the snow.

Nice… shot… Charter thought, quietly praising the peddler.  Few can master a sling.

Hawk hurriedly picked up his kill, and knifed its neck.  He quickly got some rope from his wagon and hung the creature on the branch, draining out the blood.  Then, he quickly climbed the tree from where the robin bird had perched and came back down with four or five eggs from it.

Wow…

Was he going to…?  Charter leaned in closer to watch.

Hawk was now preparing breakfast.  He went back to his wagon and opened a secret compartment.  Charter’s jaw dropped as she remember checking the wagon herself, but hadn’t realized there was something hiding underneath.  Then again, his wagon did seem slightly elevated than normal ones, and it was because of the hidden storage right below it.  She’ll have to let Sister Nightingale know about this.

For now, she watched him take out a wide iron pot?  Bowl?  It seemed much too wide to cook for a such small bird.

He set it down on the snow and took out some dry wood from the wagon---What else did he have in that wagon that they haven’t found!?  How confident was he that they would never find out that he would leave a boatload of supplies to the quartermaster?!  Then again, they never found anything, and if they did, they would have let Sister Leliana or Ambassador Josephine know.

Hawk started a small fire on that iron cast so quickly like magic, but he used a flint and some sort of substance.  Next, he took out some rods, setting it up for a roast.  He then got out a small pot, put a lot of snow in it, and then set it on the fire before placing the lid on it.

After that, he proceeded to pluck out the bird in a fast and brutal pace.  Mercifully, the robin was already dead.

Charter watched a bit in shock and wonder as Hawk was making his own breakfast.  Now that she thought about it, he hadn’t eaten breakfast properly.  He usually would just grab a bread or a potato after dropping off supplies.  A couple times she had caught him munching on a bit of the herbs that he picked up, making disgusted faces, but he ate them anyway as if it was necessary.

She watched him with a slab of wood cut the bird on top of it expertly, taking out all the guts, chopping off the feet and the head.

And then, Nugget came close to him.

“Hi, my Nugsy-wugsy!  Did you want some grubbies?” Hawk baby-talked the behemoth mount as he held out the chopped off remains and entrails of the robin, and Nugget happily gobbled it up, cleaning his hand.

Charter’s jaw nearly popped out of her face.  That nuggalope can eat living creatures!?!

No… no… A nug is a nug.  Despite having hooves and antlers, it was still a nug, and that was horrifying.  Nugs can eat almost anything.  Did that mean they can eat people?

“Good girl!  Who’s a good girl?

Nugget let out a cute coo, but Charter could only shudder.

Creak!

Her eyes widened at the sound, and thought.  Oh.  Shit.  The branch broke and she fell right down, hitting the snow.

Elves were not cat.  She didn’t land on her feet, but she was thankful she hadn’t broken anything… at least not now.

Holy shit!  Are you okay?”

…Aw…shit.

Charter slowly sat up, rubbing her head.  “Yes… I’m fine.”

And she was caught.  Fuck.  Sister Leliana would not like this—

“Do you often sleep on tree branches?”  Hawk asked, tilting his head to the left.  “I hear it’s a thing that free elves do, though next time you should pick a tree that isn’t dead.  This tree here is dying.  You can tell because the bark is chipping off and there are hardly any leaves up on the top---though then again it is winter here.”

“Wha---you thought I was sleeping?”  Charter asked incredulously.

Hawk tilt his head to the other side.  “…Were you…??

“…Yes.” Was Charter’s immediate reply.  “That’s so… strange how you know that---what do you mean by free elves?

Hawk smiled a bit.  “Oh!  When slaves run away from Tevinter, to sleep at night, they have to climb the trees and tie a rope around themselves to the tree.  If there’s no rope, then they have to try their best not to fall off.”

Charter was stunned.  Did they really?  How would he even know--?

“Hey, are you hungry?  I’m making breakfast right now, and it’ll be a while before it’s ready, but it’s gonna be real good!”  He said cheerily.  “I’m Hawk, by the way!  Hawk without the ‘e’ at the end.  I’m not related to the Champion or anything like that.”

Ah.  The classic introduction.  Is he going to introduce himself that way all the time now?  He probably had to. 

“I—Yes… I would like that.”  Charter decided to take up on his offer.  Perhaps, she’ll get more information out of him this way.  “I’m Charter, by the way.”

She deemed it safe to let him know what to call her.

Hawk grinned widely.  “Cool!  Nice to meet you, Charter!”

Again, those odd phrases.

Charter sat and watched him prepare their meals.  She watched closely though to make sure it wasn’t poisoned, but it was mostly out of habit, rather than Hawk being suspicious.  After all, he did look happy hunting down that bird.  Why ruin a good hunt?

Still… did it not occur to Hawk that she was sent here to spy on him?

“Hey, wanna see something?”  Hawk suddenly said after he perched the bird over the roasting rods.  “I’ll tell you a secret, but don’t tell anyone else.  Like Seggrit.  He might try to get my cart or something.  Come on!”

Charter eyed at him suspiciously, but she got up and followed him anyway to the wagon.  So, did he know she was a spy?  Was he now showing her everything to try and lower her suspicions?  Why show her of all people?  They just met.  Or maybe this was a trap?

Either way, despite how tactless Hawk was, Charter needed to remain guarded.

Hawk then opened the large secret compartment that’s in the back of the wagon.  He slid the hidden panel open, and Charter could feel it was freezing inside, matching the air outside.

“I keep ingredients here to keep them cool,” he said then he took out two potatoes.  “If you keep ingredients in a cold and enclosed spaces, they’re most likely to last longer,” he explained.

“How did you get that work?” Charter asked, leaning closer to see.

“Here, there’s a frost rune,” he said.  “I had a friend in Orlais commissioned this wagon for me.”

“Who?” She asked.  He had someone commission?  That must have been a lot of money for a peddler.  Then again, he was no ordinary peddler, if he could afford so much salt and then just give it away to the tavern.

“Sorry, but a merchant doesn’t reveal his secrets,” Hawk said.  “Anyways, this is what I want you to see.”

Charter tilted her head.  It wasn’t the frost compartment he had that was the secret?

They climbed on the wagon, and Hawk opened another hidden storage.  This one was larger but completely empty.

“This here fits about three large adults, and probably two qunari if they squeeze themselves in,” Hawk explained.  “The inside of this compartment has a latch in case they need to get out from under my wagon.”

“…Why are you telling me this?” Charter asked.

“…I had escaped slaves in this compartment,” Hawk said.  “I used to transport them out of places, before I was--… anyway, I wanted to let you know.  If something happens, or…if someone you know is in trouble, I have the wagon that can sneak people out.”

Charter’s eyes widened.  Oh Maker, this peddler really believed she was once a slave, just because he thought she was sleeping on a tree branch, but, she also didn’t want to tell him that she wasn’t sleeping, or else, he might catch on thinking that she was spying on him or something!  She didn’t know why, but it felt immoral to lie to him, letting him misunderstood that she was once a slave.

Charter tried to find words to say something in this situation.  “I… That’s…”

“You don’t have to say anything,” Hawk said, saving her but also dooming her with guilt.  “I just thought you should know… Anyway, let’s have that breakfast!”

He closed the compartments and they went back to the fire.

Once breakfast was ready, they had the roasted, crispy robin bird, little boiled eggs on the side, and hot potatoes with butter melting on top of it.  The smell was incredibly scrumptious, and the taste was so much better.  Charter happily munched on the free, warm meal in the same vigor and gusto as Hawk was as they ate quietly and happily.

She was still suspicious of him, but the cooks at the tavern were right.  He wasn’t a danger, especially to the Inquisition.

“That.  Was.  Delicious,” Charter said, once she was done.  “Thank you for the meal.”

Hawk grinned.  “Anytime!”

She let out a satisfied sigh.  “Ahh… I loved the potatoes you’ve boiled.  They were really delicious with the butter…”

“That’s because the potatoes were steamed, rather than boiled,” he corrected.  “And as for the butter---Ohh!  Hey!  What do you get when you throw butter out the window?”

Charter stared at him and smiled knowingly.

Still, she asked, “What?”

And his grin grew wider for the punchline.

Butter-fly!”

This time, Charter laughed freely at the punny joke.

==

Sorry!  Still working on the chapter for “That Hawk Agent is Weird”.  I want to do some actual quality work on it.  Please be more patient and enjoy this snippet of a chapter of Charter and Hawk.

😊 😊 😊

Chapter 4: Kiss The Drunk

Chapter Text

===

Day 4

===

Hawk hummed the songs this time of the morning rather than singing them aloud.

Charter clicked her tongue at that as she realized Hawk probably thought that she was sleeping on a tree branch somewhere around the area.  Charter knew, because Hawk had checked around the trees to find her.  For one thing, who the heck would sleep on a tree branch out in the cold snow?  Who wouldn’t freeze to death?

Charter took close to the ground this time, but still, it only confirmed her observations that Hawk didn’t sing those strange songs if other people were present.  She should have pressed him about the song yesterday.  Perhaps, she’ll find an opportunity today.

Other than not singing aloud, Hawk followed the rest of his routine today: drop off the goods, go to training, visit Avexis and talk, and head to the tavern.

For such a cheery fellow, he kept to himself and ate quietly, but when he would see Lieutenant Rylen, he would move right over to him and eat with him.  The same goes for the Lieutenant Rylen as he would actually go and sit with Hawk, despite how much trouble the young recruit would make just to annoy the lieutenant.

It was spaghetti again tonight, and that was not a bad thing.  It’s still the most popular dish in the tavern as the steaming hot, red meat sauce dolloped over a bed of comforting pasta noodles was very…soothing.

“Heeey, where do ya think you’re going?”  Unruly slurred words shattered the boisterous evening.

“P-Please, sir, I have to go back to work,” Nenni, the Elven cook of the tavern, pleaded.  A drunken soldier had grabbed her forearm after she placed his meal on the table.

The drunken man pulled her closer and he narrowed his eyes.  “You don’t have to be so rude!  Don’t be like this, just sit down, and have a drink with me.”

“I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t.”  Nenni shook her head as she tried to wrench her arm away.

Disgusting, Charter thought as the drunk’s actions ruined the mood in the tavern.  Should she go and stab him in the eye?  No, that would be overboard.  Besides, she couldn’t blow her cover a second time.  Any second now, someone else should come to the elf’s aid right?

No… then again, there were mostly shem here.  No one was stopping this.

“Come on, don’t be so stingy!”  The unruly drank pulled Nenni even closer and it looked like he was about to take her lips.  “Give me a kiss then!”

No!  Screw the mission.  Charter got up and was about to dash to intervene—

Then suddenly, a hand was placed on the soldier’s mouth and Hawk leaned right in to kiss him.

Every patron in the tavern was stunned as they watched with gaping mouths as Hawk and this drunken soldiers lips locked lips (although there is a hand in between their lips, blocking from any contact.)

Charter was…speechless.  Her jaw nearly hitting the ground as her stomach wrenched at the sight… and yet at the same time, it made her cheek flushed.  Overall, this was weird.  This was really, really weird.  She had no words for this.  The whole place was as quiet as a mouse and Nenni had stepped back covering her mouth in shock.

All their eyes were on this very moment. 

It took a moment, before someone bellowed out a laugh, and the rest followed suit.

The drunken soldier finally realized he wasn’t kissing the elven girl, and before he could throw a punch, Hawk pulled him down, sending him toppling over his seat and landing the ground on his back.

“ARGH!”

“I thought you wanted a kiss?”  Hawk asked, grinning mischievously, but then he turned to the side, cringing in disgust.  “Euhh… man, your lips felt so gross on my hand!!”

Charter covered her mouth quickly before the infectious laughter would overtake her as well.

“You--!! Fuck--!”  The soldier was not happy as he scrambled up to his feet and threw a right hook.

Now… Charter had seen Hawk fight when he would train at the courtyard with the rest of the soldiers.  He fared well even though he was a bit sloppy with the sword and shield, but Charter knew that the recruit was well-verse with close-range, non-weapon combat.  She knew this because when he would spar with someone, he would switch to defense tactics that allowed him to use his legs more to kick someone back or sweep them off their feet.  The recruit was also good at dodging, even carrying all the armor and heavy equipment.

So, it made no sense to Charter why the soldier managed to succeed with his punch.

Hawk was decked across the face, hitting the floor with a thud, gripping his jaw.  He was lucky he was clenching his teeth.  He held his hands up, not even getting up to fight.

The drunken soldier then reached down to grab Hawk’s collar, and pulling him up to hit him again, when suddenly someone else pulled the drunkard away.

Surprisingly, it was Commander Cullen.

When did he…?  Did he just arrive?  Charter wondered.

To the spy’s shock, Cullen pulled Hawk behind him, protecting him.  Charter wondered when and how did the commander meet Hawk, and were this close?  This is Hawk without the ‘e’, yes?  He knew that right?  Of course, he would know that.  So then, what was their relationship?  The commander was so quick to defend him and already taking the peddler’s side!

What exactly is going on here?!”  Cullen raised his voice, and everyone froze in the tavern.

She’ll have to ask that later.  For now, the drunkard was in so much trouble.

“Commander!”  Nenni bravely spoke out, despite her meek demeanor.  She moved to Hawk’s side, grabbing his arm.  “That man is drunk he was sexually harassing me!  Hawk here stepped in to protect me, but then he assaulted him!  As you have just witnessed!”

Charter blinked.  Okay… that’s… uncharacteristically not like her.  And sexual harassment?

Lieutenant Rylen then marched up, confirming, “It’s true, Commander.  This recruit has been harassing her, and forcing lewd acts upon her in public.”

And that… wasn’t completely a lie.

It’s common knowledge that the Commander of the Inquisition has a soft heart for those of the weak and lesser races of Thedas as he always strived to treat them all equally as he would with other humans.  Charter thought he among one of the decent shems in Thedas.

And it was satisfying to see the drunkard shrivel when the Commander threw a murderous glare.

“I-I thought… I thought that at least here in the Inquisition, we would be treated kindly, but…” Nenni continued to speak as there were now tears falling from her eyes.

Charter’s brows furrowed.  Wait… was this…?

“You there!  Take this ensign to the dungeon, and he will be flogged ten times when he wakes up in the morning,” Cullen said.  “Anyone else, under the influence or not, decides to act as crass as this recruit will receive the punishment two days in a row.  Is that understood?

“Sir!” A lot of the soldiers in the tavern had stood up and saluted as the others dragged the poor drunkard out and into the dungeon.

Served him right, Charter thought, and her eyes went back to Hawk, who had slipped away into the kitchen.

Before Cullen would leave the tavern, Nenni thanked him and talked to him, giving Hawk enough time to return from the kitchen with Ririll as they handed him spaghetti in a wooden box container.

“Sorry, Commander.  You came here to eat, and yet this shit happened,” Hawk said.

“No.  Unacceptable behavior such as that should never happen here in the Inquisition,” Cullen said.  “You should see Adan to tend to that bruise, Hawk.”

Hawk waved him off.  “Don’t worry, I’ll shove some snow on it.”

“Commander?”  Nenni, tears already dry, bowed her head.   “I, too, am sorry for the trouble.”

“No, no, no, it’s not any trouble,” Cullen said.  “And, thank you for the meal, but I think I’ll pass for tonight--”

“But sir, I would feel awful that you came here to eat, but lost your appetite because of this,” Nenni said, frowning as her ears even drooped down a bit, conveying sadness.  “It would make my night feel better, knowing you’ve eaten properly.”

“T-then… alright… thank you,” The Commander resigned, blushing a bit, before taking the food wit him and leaving the tavern to return to his tent.  Once he was gone, Nenni, Ririll, Rylen, and Hawk all grinned at each other.

Charter watched with eyes wide as she wondered… was this… all staged?

==

==

The whole thing was a set-up.

Charter went to question the cooks later that night, and yes… the whole thing was completely staged.  The drunkard, Reynolds, had been harassing a lot of the female elves, frequently on Nenni.  She had voiced her troubles to Hawk, and Hawk had concocted a plan that would help them put the bastard away for a while, and make sure he wouldn’t do it again.

Apparently, Hawk planned for it to happen today, because it was a Friday, and many soldiers drink on a Friday night.  It even looked like that Rylen was in on the plan the entire time as well.  When did they plan this?  Was it before she started stalking Hawk?

Either way… it was a clever idea, even though the kissing was… completely unexpected.

“How is it so far?”

Charter had gone to visit the Spymaster later that evening.

“It’s…  I have no words.”  She settled on that.  “…There is… so much.”

“I’ve read your reports for the last three days,” Leliana said.  “You revealed yourself to him yesterday?”

“Yes.”

“And he believes you were a slave?”

“Yes.”

“Because you were sleeping on a tree branch?”

“….Yes.”  The answer came more hesitant.  It sounded ludicrous, hearing it again, but Hawk’s reasoning was… sound.

…That was a strange sentence in itself.

Leliana raised a brow at her before her eyes dropped back down to the many reports neatly stacked and organized on her desk.

“What happened tonight?” She asked.

Charter answered.  “Hawk staged for an unruly recruit to be punished---sort of.  It seemed that several elven women working here were being harassed by him… They planned the whole thing, and it wouldn’t have worked, if not for the soldier being so… predictably drunk.  I’m… not so surprised that Recruit Hawk went out of his way to cause such a scene.  In fact, I’m more impressed of how his plan worked.”

“Because he’s so tactless?”  Leliana asked, and yet she was smiling, knowingly of the answer.

“…Yes.”  Charter decided that that hasn’t changed, but… it wasn’t a bad thing.  “…Though I suppose it is his own unique charm.”

“Hmm…”  The Spymaster placed the paper down and picked up another missive.  “Did you know that Hawk went back to see the commander and asked him to change the sentence of the soldier?” 

Charter whipped her head.  “What?”

When?  Was it when she went to go talk to the cooks?  She saw Hawk go back into the tent, did he come right out to go talk to the commander?

“Yes… he said flogging is barbaric,” Leliana said.  “He suggested reassignment in another area or maybe even latrine duty for the next three weeks.”

Charter’s eyes fell downcast.  “…Because slaves are usually flogged.”

“Yes…”  Finally, her eyes left the paper as she gazed up.  “Tell me, Charter.  Where do you think he’s from?”

“…He’s… He’s a contradiction honestly,” Charter started, frowning deeply as she gathered all her thoughts on her observations of Hawk.  “If not for his mannerisms, with just his story of smuggling slaves out…  I would say, he was from Tevinter, and maybe he was a slave, but… his mannerisms, his… attitude, his…happy-don’t care about anything else attitude… his singing in the morning, his banter with Lieutenant Rylen, his conversation with the tranquil Avexis---He’s too happy.”

She stopped as she noticed the Spymaster was staring at her.

Charter sighed.  “Wherever he’s from, I don’t believe Hawk is a threat to the Inquisition… Still, it makes me wonder… why is he here?  Why did he stop helping to smuggle out escaping slaves?  There’s so much that he’s hiding, and I’m worried it’s all going to unfurl one day, especially with how much he dodges personal questions of himself.”

Rustle.

“Who’s there?!”  Leliana immediately snapped and then another noise aroused, meaning they bolted.

Both ladies who thrived in darkness and shadow drew out their daggers as they quickly headed out of the tent.  They looked around, trying to see where the intruder went, but in these clear skies, it was hard to tell fresh tracks on the snow.

Charter moved as she went downstairs that would lead to the tavern, only to bump into someone, and she quickly grabbed that person, putting up a knife.

Whimper.

Charter blinked when she realized it was Nenni, who was now shaking in fear.

“W-what are you…?” She asked in a shaky voice.

Charter quickly let her go.  “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!  We thought we heard someone, and…!”

“Did you see anyone go by here?”  Leliana asked coming up from behind.

Nenni shook her head ‘no’ rapidly.  “N-No, S-Sister Leliana.  I didn’t see anyone.  I just left the tavern, and I was making my way over to the Chantry.”

Charter was surprised.  “You’re Andrastian?”

“Y-yes.  Aren’t you?”  Nenni asked, tilting her head.

“I---Again, I’m really sorry, Nenni,” Charter said, stopping there.

Whoever it was that was eavesdropping on them will not get away next time.  Charter vowed.

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