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Louis hadn’t even realized he had started to cry a bit until the closing credits appeared on his screen. Fucking hell.
It’s a lot to take in, and he’s still processing the very last scene. Just when he had thought Darcy’s character couldn’t get any better, he manages to mumble what may be the most endearing phrase of the entire movie –“So how are you this evening? Mrs. Darcy.”
During each scene, Louis caught himself over-analyzing each little detail to try to decipher what could be Harry’s favorite part. But as the film progressed, he came to discover that every line spoken is seamlessly placed and the relationship development is spot on. There’s no way in hell he’d ever be able to guess his boyfriend’s favorite bit. In all honesty, he loved every second of it, and he would bet in a heartbeat that Harry feels the exact same way.
As he glances up at the time, he feels a slight tug of guilt, thinking maybe he should have waited to watch it until Harry had arrived from work. Louis still has a few minutes until the younger boy will be pacing in; a few more minutes to overthink. It’s strange, but he feels a bit sinful? Like maybe Harry will be upset that he’s watched it all without him.
Harry has no idea. In the span of only about five hours, his boyfriend found out about his hidden obsession with the story, then proceeded to go home to research the hell out of it, and eventually found himself sniffling by the end of his own illegal viewing. Louis knows Harry well enough by now to know that when he loves someone or something he really loves it. Now, as he’s sat on the sofa with his eyes glued to the window facing the street, he feels a bit anxious about how to even admit to Harry that all of this has happened during his eight-hour shift at the coffee shop.
---
Louis is fumbling around in the kitchen, trying to organize a bit in the little time he has left before Harry walks in. He’s just finding a sort of rhythm until he hears his phone buzz from the other room. God - he should not be this antsy. He paces in to answer it and smiles when he hears his boyfriend’s cheery greeting on the other end.
“Hi babe! I’ll be there soon yeah? I got us pasta tonight, your favorite kind!”
Louis must not respond right away, because soon Harry’s talking again, “Lou? Everything alright?”
“Oh, yeah sorry, I’m good. Can’t wait to see you.” Louis mentally punches himself for the way his voice trails off at the end. He knows Harry quite well and knows that he’s going to pick up on Louis’ weird behavior and start to get nervous as he walks to his flat, wondering if he’s done something wrong.
Harry sighs quietly, probably on purpose to make sure Louis can’t hear, but he does anyway.
“Okay.”
Louis doesn’t think twice before speaking again. He’s smiling into the phone and you can tell by the tone of his voice - he hopes his boyfriend can too. “Harr, I’m okay I promise. I love you.”
“I love you. Also, I just turned onto your street.”
---
Every time he hears Harry say those three words, memories of the first time he ever said them come flooding back, and they seem to carry just as much (or maybe even more) meaning as they did all those months ago.
Louis can count on one hand the people in his life that he’s said “I love you” to. In all honesty, he hadn’t even spoken the words out loud for a few years, until he met Harry.
Whenever they’re together, his life feels so much more complete. It’s difficult to put into words, but he often summarizes it in this way: before Harry, he didn’t see his life as having any sort of purpose.
It’s odd, but Louis can see himself as being quite similar to Mr. Darcy. His mind was always filled with so many different emotions, and they were all fighting to get to the surface. It used to be that there was never one emotion that took control, and it resulted in a shy, closed off, defensive personality, because when he did show true feelings, they were an overwhelming and confusing mess.
Harry is the one who brought him out of that, slowly but surely. He’s the one who was patient enough to see past Louis’ crazy blur of a personality, and he met him there. Harry never pushed Louis past where he was comfortable, especially in social situations. For the first few months, they stayed in for date-nights most of the time. Harry loves to cook his own meals, and loves it, even more, when he’s making food for other people. Harry is there to listen to anything Louis needs or wants to say, but he was never uncomfortable with silence. Harry knows what to do when Louis has a panic attack, but he also knows that Louis feels a little bit anxious all the time.
Louis would be lying if he said anyone knows him better than Harry. Maybe that’s the reason he feels discouraged that he never told him about this book he loves so dearly.