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Jiang Cheng had to bite back a scream as more pressure was applied to his wound.
“This will help stop the bleeding,” Hanguang-jun explained. His words were curt and concise because he was trying his best to mask his inner turmoil. But if, after years of knowing each other, and spending the better part of them hating each other, Jiang Cheng finally saw through his cold facade, well he didn’t say anything.
Jiang Cheng leaned his head back against the rock, sweat making his hair stick to his forehead, and tried his best to breathe through the pain. He really didn’t want to appear so weak in front of Hanguang-jun.
“May I?” Lan Wangji gestured to his robes.
Jiang Cheng nodded, but even such a small movement made him feel dizzy. His vision was beginning to blur.
Lan Wangji carefully removed Jiang Cheng’s outer robes, until only the final layer remained. The blood from where the creature had injured him seeped through the thin cloth staining it red. Jiang Cheng was vaguely annoyed at the notion that if he were to live through this then he’d have to buy more robes.
“Robes are the least of your worries.” Lan Wangji said, coldly. Oh, Jiang Cheng thought to himself. I said that out loud . At Lan Wangji’s frown, he realized he must’ve said that out loud as well.
He shuffled through the pockets of Jiang Cheng’s robes until he found what he was looking for. It was the flask Wei Wuxian had given him a couple of months ago. Although Jiang Cheng would never admit it, he treasured his brother’s gift and carried it wherever he went, even during night hunts.
Lan Wangji uncapped the bottle, relieved to find it filled, and then sent Jiang Cheng an almost apologetic look. “This will hurt.”
He lifted up Jiang Cheng’s clothing until his injury was exposed. There was a large, grotesque, gash running across his stomach where the creature had attacked him.
Lan Wangji poured some of the liquor over his wound in order to sterilize it and ward off against infection.
Jiang Cheng couldn’t help the scream that was ripped out of him. But he found that he couldn’t stop screaming. Lan Wangji’s hand went to cover his mouth, probably because the beast they’d been fighting was still somewhere in the cave, but thankfully they had managed to injure the monster as well, long enough to escape.
Jiang Cheng was mortified to find tears running down his cheeks, but he knew that thankfully, Lan Wangji wouldn’t comment on them.
“Are you alright?” He asked a few moments after Jiang Cheng’s screams had died down.
Jiang Cheng let out a breath of bitter laughter but instantly regretted it. He shivered as another wave of pain raked through his body. Lan Wangji’s face betrayed nothing, but his hands were shaking as he set the flask off to the side.
“Why?” Lan Wangji’s voice was so soft that Jiang Cheng could’ve pretended to ignore it if he wanted to.
So he did and just stared at the rocks on the cave wall instead.
“Why did you do that?” Lan Wangji’s voice was louder this time. “You pushed me to side and let the creature attack you instead…why?” His confusion was genuine, much like his distress.
Jiang Cheng’s mind was too muddled and he was in too much pain to try and come up with a snarky answer or snap at Hanguang-jun. Jiang Cheng’s answers, therefore, were forced to be not only simple but painfully honest as well.
“If you died, then A-Xian and Lan Huan would be sad.” And then after a beat, in a much lower voice, Jiang Cheng confessed, “I think...I think if you’d died, I’d be sad as well.”
Lan Wangji said nothing. His expression was blank, but the corners of his eyes had grown mysteriously wet.
And then all of a sudden the cave began to tremble and quake.
The monster, Dongxue Youling or the ‘Cave Ghost’ as the villagers had called it, had been wreaking havoc upon the small town just outside of Gusu for weeks. The Ghost lured unsuspecting villagers in, usually it would mimic the voice of a loved one, and then it would attack, killing the villagers and feeding off their souls to gather strength.
Lan Wangji would’ve asked a few Lan disciples to accompany himself on the hunt, but the majority of them were off on a separate, much more light-hearted hunt on the other side of Gusu, with Wei Wuxian leading them.
Jiang Cheng had been in Gusu to visit his husband, but Lan Xichen regretfully had urgent business to attend to elsewhere that night, leaving Jiang Cheng with limited choices of things to do. So when Lan Wangji had approached him about Dongxue Youling, Jiang Cheng had gladly accompanied his brother-in-law.
But the night had quickly taken a turn for the worse.
The Ghost had managed to catch Lan Wangji off guard. It had mimicked Wei Wuxian’s voice, crying out for help. Lan Wangji had only faltered for a split second, but that was enough time to give the creature an opening.
Jiang Cheng hadn’t thought twice about shoving Lan Wangji out of the way and letting the monster attack himself instead.
Thankfully, Lan Wangji had quickly regained his senses and was able to grievously injure the monster with his sword, allowing them to escape. But the cave was connected to Dongxue Youling . Hurting the Ghost had caused the cave the mini-earthquake.
Lan Wangji tried to shield Jiang Cheng from the rocks falling all around them.
“You need to get out of here.” Jiang Cheng rasped out. “The cave is going to collapse.”
“You will not survive the journey without reinforcements.” Lan Wangji argued, in a voice that left no more room for discussion. But Jiang Cheng was nothing if not stubborn. He continued on.
“Hanguang-jun, don’t make my sacrifice worthless.” Jiang Cheng pleaded. He’d already had one brother do that to him, he wasn’t sure if he could bear another doing the same thing. “You have to leave me here.”
Lan Wangji looked him directly in the eyes as he said, “I’m not leaving you.”
“You have too!” Jiang Cheng tried to raise his voice, but it came out weak and pathetic, so he tried again. “You can’t die here!”
“And you can?” Jiang Cheng was shocked to find that Lan Wangji sounded genuinely angry .
Jiang Cheng tried to protest. He tried to tell Lan Wangji that he had to leave immediately , but he wouldn’t listen.
“How could you be so selfish?” Lan Wangji hissed. Jiang Cheng was stunned. Once he recovered he tried to glare at him but found he was too exhausted to maintain it for long. “Did you ever stop to think about how your death would affect others?”
“You’re being a hypocrite.” Jiang Cheng shot back. “You were about to die. Didn’t I tell you why I saved you? People would miss you! I would miss you-”
“ Dongxue Youling was coming for me , not you. It was not your place to bear the attack yourself.”
Jiang Cheng felt a wave of frustration wash over him. He opened his mouth to say rather impolite things but Lan Wangji cut him off.
“You speak of my family as if they aren’t yours as well. My husband is your brother. My brother is your husband. And what about our nephew? How do you think Jin Ling would react to your death, after already losing so much?”
Lan Wangji’s words sliced at him deeper than the creature’s talons had.
“Lan Wangji-” Jiang Cheng’s voice shook. He found himself crying once more, though this time his tears weren’t brought on solely by pain.
“What about your Sect? Your disciples who look up to you?”
“They fear me.” Jiang Cheng tried to argue, but Lan Wangji shot him down with a scowl.
“They respect you.” And then Lan Wangji finally looked away, breaking their eye contact. His gaze was focused on the skyline above them. The moon’s light illuminated his face, giving off the illusion that he was glowing. In his delirium, Jiang Cheng had to admit that, although he would always find his Lan Huan to be the most beautiful man he’d ever seen, Lan Wangji did look quite ethereal at that moment.
“And me.” Lan Wangji whispered. Jiang Cheng had to strain to hear his words. “I would mourn you too.”
Jiang Cheng was dumbfounded.
Trying to conceal his shock, he commented, “This is the most I’ve heard you speak, Lan Wangji.”
Lan Wangji gave him a look. Probably the same look he gave Wei Wuxian whenever he tried to make light of a serious situation.
“Jiang Wanyin?” Jiang Cheng noted that Lan Wangji was facing him again. His gaze was intense, and Jiang Cheng was worried he’d melt under its intensity.
“I’m sorry that the concept of others caring about you is foreign. I’m sorry that it still takes you by surprise.”
Jiang Cheng was already having trouble breathing, but that completely knocked all the breath out of his chest. He couldn’t have stopped the tears rushing down his face now if he’d tried. Lan Wangji’s speech was as flat and monotone as usual, but he spoke so sincerely and his words stabbed Jiang Cheng in the chest.
Being this vulnerable was humiliating. It hurt. It stung. But along with the pain, was also a warm feeling unfurling inside Jiang Cheng.
“And thank you for saving my life. Don’t ever do it again.”
Jiang Cheng felt a smile creep upon his face. And then he heard the sound of hushed voices and soft footsteps surrounding the cave.
The Lan disciples who’d remained in Gusu had been alarmed when Sect Leader Jiang and Hanguang-jun hadn’t returned from what was supposed to be a short hunt. They’d immediately traveled to the cave, and more importantly, they’d brought a healer. Jiang Cheng could practically feel the waves of relief pass from Lan Wangji to himself.
“They will enter the cave shortly.” Lan Wangji informed him. “You may rest now.”
Jiang Cheng wanted to protest, but his drooping eyelids persuaded him otherwise.
“Oh and Hanguang-jun?” Jiang Cheng whispered before he fell asleep.
“Mn?”
“I’m sorry.” For being your enemy in the past. “And thank you.” For being my friend, my brother, in the present.