Archive of Our Own ^beta

There weren't many stars in the sky that night. Just a black ocean with no end and a lonely moon could be seen.

San looked at the dark sky, everything was always dark in his life. He was tired of it. Not being able to find light in his life. Dreaming became hard, but so was living in reality and all he ever wanted was an escape.

The night traffic that he could hear in the back of his mind didn't bother him as he was not the one to drive. It was someone else's problem, he had enough of his own.

As every second ticked away, the voices in his head became louder and louder and it was like there was a fog taking over his mind. He couldn't think and his surroundings faded away.

Slowly the door opened, his eyes closed, he breathed in...

...And as the final sand grain fell, he jumped.

'Everyone left, yet her scent is still with me. Is she anywhere to be found? This painful memory… I wish it was only a dream.'

Seonghwa looked at the necklace in his hand, memories flooding his mind. Memories of a woman that was always there from the start but was now gone together with everyone else.

He looked around. Lost, lonely, scared.

Her figure started fading in his memory as the days went by and yet he could remember how her fragrance always was like home. Because she was warmth and she was all he ever wanted.

Even when everyone left, she was there. When he fell, she was there. She raised him. Made him what he is. Yet now she was gone too.

His mother wouldn't want him to cry. But she was all he had left and he no longer knew where he could go to find her.

Because he couldn't turn back time. And he couldn't tell her what was coming. He wasn't able to stop the kidnappers or spot where she was. If she was still in the same world breathing the same air.

When it’s time for the sun to set, the sky is colorful. One could say that while looking at all the colors beautiful childhood memories will come rushing back. People love to watch the sun going down and saying goodbye to it knowing they’ll see it again the next day.

For Jongho this was not the case as all that could come in mind was the blurry face of the person he had learned to call his best friend. So instead he looked at the ground having finally lost hope of ever seeing him again. He had been so young, but the scar in his heart grew with him.

‘If I had done something back then would things be different? What if I had reached out?’

But he was too young.

Everyone hits rock bottom at some point in their lives but what’s hard is recovering and climbing back up.

Mingi was one of the many victims of life that was lead to poverty. Was it his choices? Or was he just unlucky? Did fate play a game against him maybe? The only thing he knew is that he could no longer see the light and dreams became a luxury.

How can one dream when all they have is nothing? Wishes and high hopes can’t change a single thing. What people need is change, yet they keep only dreaming of it.

He didn’t dare to turn around and look at his friend and classmate. Full of shame and his head hanging low he accepted the reality he lived in and chose to ignore his friend’s voice. He hoped that for once, he took the right decision.

Behind bright smiles hide the darkest secrets. Regret and pain. The hard way isn’t always worth it. Not when you get between people you love. A road filled with thorns is a path one wouldn’t choose, yet some people believe there is beauty in the end of it.

Wooyoung had learned a few things in life. And one of them was how he would never be taken seriously, no matter how he kept trying to help. He was ‘too perfect’ in the eyes of people, therefore it was assumed he couldn’t understand.

But the outside doesn’t always represent reality. Perfect lives are an illusion. There is no utopia in the world, just people that know how to hide. But does it take the pain away?

Some people are just born to suffer and they’ve accepted it. But it’s never the time to give up. It shall only be decided by time and destiny.

Parents are always the first ones to be there at every happiness yet when it comes to hardships, not all are just as attentive. Some even are dismissive or just dense. Some even turn a blind eye and pretend they can’t see or understand the situation.

Yeosang was always told one thing, to look up. Yet when the sky is dark what’s the point of lifting your head? The stars the adults keep talking about are nowhere to be seen. And that’s because of light.

The darkness is not always the enemy, sometimes it can give you all you dreamt of. And others it can consume you and there’s no going back.

What else can you do when what stops you from having what you want is light itself though? Big sacrifices can give you what you want or simply destroy you.

Many people share similar dreams or dream of a life with someone. But no matter how perfectly planned a future is, it can always change in just a moment.

Yunho built his own dream on someone else’s carelessly and the moment that person was gone, so were his dreams. Lost, he ran and ran under the purplish sky to find him. The one that had made his life special and the one that was always there for him.

The friend of his that he considered his brother. The one and only person that could ever help him. The very person that forgot how to dream. The one believing in nightmares but not in dreams anymore. That one person that needed him just like Yunho did.

And as time passed and he ran, he didn’t understand how everything suddenly turned black.

Time is tricky. One would say that once something is done there’s no going back. But just like it can be slower when you suffer and faster when you have a good time, just like that a moment can turn back. The hourglass in the hands of the Fedora Man was the key.

Hongjoong opened his eyes slowly, his head hurt and he felt dizzy. He knew something was wrong, his gut feeling told him so and it was never wrong.

The lights flickered and he jumped up, the man in front of him almost giving him a heart attack.

He wanted to speak but no words came out as the man came closer and closer, setting down the hourglass on the table.

“You have to save them. This world has countless dimensions.”

Was all that he said before he disappeared.

Like in a movie, time started moving back as soon as Hongjoong touched the hourglass, he felt nauseous but what was in his mind was the words of the man. Who did he have to save? From what? What could he even do?

And just as he was wondering that, he saw the figure of a person he could never fail to recognize.

He saw the boy moving backwards, from the pavement back in the car and terrified he ran towards him.

Just the moment the door opened, Hongjoong was in front of the car that abruptly stopped and the boy that had just jumped out of it looked at him in shock.

“Hongjoong?! Are you crazy?! You could have gotten hurt!”

And that was what made Hongjoong furious.

“Am I crazy San?! I am not the one jumping out of a moving car!”

San felt caught right in that moment. What was he thinking?

“I’m sorry.” He whispered.

And as he was ready to speak again, Yunho behind Hongjoong met the floor before the man managed to even turn around and look.

Hongjoong disappeared again.

The second time was better, but his mind was filled with more worry. Had he failed? What was that sound? Was it San that he had to save? Then he had made it right?

It didn’t take as long as before to see another familiar person coming into view. The man stood at the edge of a rooftop, looking at a necklace in his hand. Tears falling or more likely going back as did time.

He followed him and watched in shock the man witnessing his own mother’s kidnapping. He had tried to go after the abductors in vain.

As time went backwards he ended up in a park, Seonghwa was hanging out with a friend of his. He knew that face yet he couldn’t seem to recognize him until he heard the name.

“Jongho I’ll have to go soon. My mom will worry and no matter how much I want to help you find him, I also need to go back.” Said Seonghwa, of course. Jongho. How did Hongjoong forget?

Hongjoong had seen what would happen. They would agree for another hour.

It would be too late by then. Hongjoong knew around what time this was. Unlike with San, he remembered when Seonghwa lost his mother and he could fix it. It was a now or never situation.

“Seonghwa!”

Hongjoong yelled just as the slightly older man was about to agree staying a bit more.

“Hongjoong? What are you doing here? What’s wrong?”

His worried expression made Hongjoong's heart clench, he always looked like this after his mom was taken away. He had to stop it.

“It’s your mom we need to hurry right now”

Hongjoong said while grabbing Seonghwa’s arm and pulling him to follow him. He never noticed Jongho following them as they ran.

They arrived just in time, the two kidnappers were about to break in.

Hongjoong yelled and Seonghwa stared, panicking as the men turned to look at them. He hadn’t thought this thoroughly, he just knew he didn’t want them to go in. That’s when he noticed Jongho. Jongho that ran at the men full speed, iron in his hands.

He managed to knock one of them down yet the other didn’t hesitate to get back at him, hitting his head before he picked his knocked out partner and went back to their van. Escaping.

“Jongho!” yelled Seonghwa but Hongjoong already disappeared right there before he managed to see if he was ok.

He couldn't stop thinking about it. Had Jongho died because of him? Was he alright? Could he save him too? He just wanted him to be alive.

And as if mercy was shown to his poor soul, he saw Jongho. A much younger one, crying as he sat with his face hidden in his knees. He was loud and it was heartbreaking, Hongjoong was sure he never had seen him like that before.

“Why would he leave me for him? Why him? I was his best friend.”

The young boy cried out and a younger version of Hongjoong walked towards him, he had to act right. He didn’t know Jongho in that age and the boy was always a bit distant and a mystery to him. Only ever opening up to Seonghwa when Hongjoong himself wasn’t around.

“Hey are you alright?”

Hongjoong couldn’t even recognize his voice.

“My friend left me alone for some other boy. He said he was moving too and that’s why he would need some new friends too but he never even told me where he’d move at. We used to always come here to meet each other.”

The young boy cried out before looking up at Hongjoong, a small sparkle in his eyes. Like the light of hope.

“Can you help me search? Please?”

And Hongjoong wouldn’t dare to say no to that face. It’d be like lying to his very own brother that he didn’t have.

“Let’s go.”

He said holding his hand out, he hoped this could change the future too. But the happiness he saw on Jongho’s face the moment he took his hand was enough.

The two of them started asking around, the biggest problem was that they only had a last name. The boy had never told him his full name. Hongjoong didn’t know how much time he had but as two days went by he started feeling more lightheaded. He started getting dizzy and nauseous often but always hid it.

He’d find that boy no matter what. He promised to himself.

It was the third day that they managed to find trace. Kang Yeosang was the son in a family that had just moved recently, the family lived close enough to the park so the chances were high. And a visit there confirmed it.

Just that Jongho didn’t look as happy, not when he saw his friend with some other best friend. He didn’t manage to listen to more of what they said other than “I finally found you.”

Yeosang smiled at him despite the cold look of the kid and a memory Hongjoong didn’t remember before flashed in front of his eyes. That of Yeosang hitting the other abductor that tried to get Seonghwa’s mom. Yeosang and Seonghwa fighting. Seonghwa yelling how family is important even if sometimes they fail to understand.

Was that what had happened? Hongjoong was travelling again.

He didn't know who to expect next. Those were the friends he had so he expected that was it, that he had made it. Yet he was in a school. Not even his own. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do.

That’s when he heard two people talk in a classroom and he may wasn’t the type to eavesdrop but he guessed it was all he could do. Maybe that’s who he needed to help next, maybe it’d be over after he finished with them too.

“Mingi you’re just throwing yourself away at this point! I understand your situation but throwing your dream away?! Fight for it! He wouldn’t want you to do that... “

Hongjoong could hear someone say as he moved closer to the door and saw two guys. One, that he assumed was Mingi, having his back turned at the boy that had just talked.

“Wooyoung he is not around anymore and you know it. He doesn’t want to even see him after what I did, I’m sure. And how am I supposed to dream when I barely have a home anymore? It’s not that easy.”

Wooyoung. That name rang a bell yet the memory was faint.

“If you give up now then you throw away everything. All these years you’ve become something. No matter if it is something big or something as small as my friend. Is it really worth to throw away everything?”

That boy, Wooyoung, insisted as he saw Mingi give up on hope.

“Someone like you wouldn’t understand. You’re too perfect.”

Were Mingi’s last words that made Wooyoung lower his own head with gritted teeth and clenched fists.

“Everyone has their own troubles in their heads. No one has a dreamy life.”

Hongjoong said as he opened the door, two pairs of eyes falling on him.

“Who are you and why are you here? You spied on us? Weirdo.”

Mingi glared at the shorter male. He knew he was right but he could help.

“Listen to him. Dreaming is free and you should follow them. Follow what he says”

At that moment Hongjoong heard a loud static noise in his ears and as he turned around Wooyoung was replaced by Yeosang. A memory of him hearing Yeosang rushed back. Hearing how there is no reason to dream anyways when all you ever want is that hard to get.

This wasn’t supposed to happen. Where was the other boy?

He didn’t manage to say more before he was away once again, just that in this journey, time seemed to glitch. He wondered how safe was it after all.

He didn’t know what he expected. He didn’t know where he’d end up at. He didn’t expect to end up with a young Wooyoung. That was the last thing he imagined of.

The boy was carefree, looked like the epitome of happiness yet he was alone. No He kept talking as if there was someone there but he was alone.

“Hey…”

Whispered Hongjoong, he didn’t have to pretend like he didn’t know the boy. He really didn't.

“Hm? Oh! Hi there!”

He looked excited, it was cute.

“My name is Hongjoong and yours?”

He tried to start a conversation.

“Wooyoung and this is Yeosang!”

Hongjoong was confused. That’s when it hit him that he was the same boy Yeosang played with when Jongho found them with his help. But why did he speak as if Yeosang was the air? An imaginary friend?

“Oh… Nice to meet you both?”

Wooyoung smiled at that. He looked innocent but in thought.

“Do I know you from somewhere…? Oh wait! You’re Jongho’s friend aren’t you?”

That surprised Hongjoong how did he know? Was this after or before Yeosang and Jongho reunited? He could not tell anymore, it had become too complicated.

“Yeah that’s me. You remember me?”

The boy started laughing.

“It took you one day to forget me? I was at Yeosang’s yesterday! You were there too you came with that little guy! You rushed out right after saying you need to go though so I guess you didn’t pay too much attention”

So it was a day.

“Oh yeah sorry for that. Did anything happen after I left?”

Maybe this was the answer.

“Ehhh… Jongho wasn’t very glad that I was there so he wanted me to leave… I don’t know why but I didn’t want to cause a problem so I did. He was mad at me.”

And that broke his heart. He should have stayed but he didn’t know how.

“And you just left? Like that? Yeosang may miss you.”

He was sure he would. He looked happy that day with him.

“Well better than get between them right?”

And he didn’t know who was at fault at this point because both just wanted a friend.

“I think you should talk to them both. Be selfish you know? Because if caring about yourself too is being selfish then you better be. You look like a good kid, Jongho just has to get to know you I promise. Don’t give up on yourself yeah?”

And the confusion on the boys face soon turned to happiness.

He nodded and ran to where Hongjoong knew was right. He could remember Mingi agreeing to see his friend thanks to Wooyoung back in that day in the classroom.

He was happy. He believed he made it yet something told him that he had to do more and it was confirmed when he found himself at the same park he had found Jongho when he was still young. Just that now it was Yeosang that sat alone on a bench. It was night.

“Hey are you ok?”

Yeosang looked too gloomy to be ok, he had to start a conversation.

“Hongjoong? Wouldn’t say so.”

So he knew Yeosang at this time, that was good.

“What’s in your mind?”

He asked carefully and saw the other sigh.

“You heard what Seonghwa told me right? After we helped him with his mom and I told him I wish I had a mother like his because I don’t like mine? Because they don’t understand?”

Hongjoong could strangely remember, so he was at that time…

“Adults can’t always understand. Different times and the age gap…. But this doesn’t mean they don’t love you always. Maybe you should try to make them understand? Talk to them.”

He could see the way Yeosang started to curl up slowly, wanting to hide and keep himself in.

“All they know to say is look up and talk about stars that we can’t even see.”

And Hongjoong had an idea as he held a hand out.

“Let me show you something.”

And Yeosang didn’t know if he should trust but he gave his hand hesitantly. They walked for quite a while going to one of the darkest roads they could find and honestly? Yeosang was scared and so was Hongjoong but he was determined.

He’d show him the stars.

“Here we are. Now, look up.”

And the way Yeosang’s eyes widened would be funny but it made Hongjoong emotional. Because he saw a smile form and he knew he was right.

“I’ve always been afraid of the dark…”

Confessed Yeosang.

“That’s what kept you back. But there is light in the darkness. Light can’t exist with no darkness. And sometimes when you can’t see. When it is so dark you think it can’t get darker... The whole galaxy unfolds before your eyes. And light is there again.”

And with that, Yeosang’s smile the last thing he managed to see, he was back where all this started.

Back at San.

He could remember this moment exactly. San would apologize and someone would fall. He could now see who. And as he turned, he saw a guy he recognized yet had no idea how.

He saw him and was quick to notice someone else rushing after him, knife in hand. Hongjoong didn’t know what got into him when he pushed the familiar guy away but the stab he felt on his side hurt. He could hear yelling. Panic. The guy was caught yet he fell. He could hear San and Yunho.

Yunho. That was his name. Mingi’s friend. Mingi must meet this guy or did he do it already?

Maybe in another dimension another Hongjoong did better than him and he was the only one that failed, Maybe there were more. He didn’t know. Maybe he messed up other dimensions too. In this one, he was covered by the blanket of darkness.

His body started glitching, he could feel it. It was like he was disappearing or like he was some computer virus that was getting deleted. It was terrifying.

He felt like he was floating. He didn’t know how to get out or wake up. He wondered if he ever existed after this. If he died with San, if everything was actually fixed or everything was in vain.

He could hear their voices sometimes. All of them as if they are together. Some others individually. Other times he could only hear a constant static sound which was driving him crazy. He couldn’t feel his body. As far as his eye went all he could see was something like a snow tv screen. He didn’t feel cold or hot, he felt absolutely nothing.

He was alone with his thoughts, praying that he managed to save everyone. That they would be happy. He hoped they would go through hardships together now. Still, all he could do was just hope. Did the Fedora Man want it to end like that?

The loudest noise he heard made him scream, his eyes widening as he jumped awake surrounded by everyone while being on a hospital bed.

Was it a dream? He was confused. He knew all seven guys in front of him and they seemed to know each other too. Had he dreamt that he didn’t know them and saved them or was it true? He could remember them all. Moments they spent together. He remembers comforting Yunho after he fought with Mingi, he remembers hugging Seonghwa when they helped his mom with Jongho and Yeosang.

He remembers everything yet his mind can’t seem to be able to tell which is true and which not.

Pain on his right side also makes him remember that night he almost died, that night that he remembers getting stuck in time but everyone insisted he was in a comma.

Maybe it was. Or maybe he owned that Fedora Man a lot for what he gave him.