Chapter Text
It was late evening like 7:00-ish, on the cusp of night. The sun was on the horizon, making a beautiful color pallet of greys, pinks, yellows, blues, and oranges. Shouta took a photo even though he wasn't one for scenic views. His husband loved them with all his heart and Shouta usually had better places to shoot the photos then Hizashi. Plus, this one had a cloud that looked like a cat in it so how could he resist?
Shouta removed his yellow sleeping bag from under his arm and found a nice spot to nap in, it was out of sight of anyone who would be coming through the door to the roof. Not that Shouta had passed out the keys to the roof yet. He wanted to get a good gauge on the children's spirits before handing them any keys to high places. And Shouta enjoyed the peace and quiet of sleeping in high places such as roofs or trees. People tended to not notice him and when they did they left him alone. Which is why Shouta is here on the roof to the UA Class 1-A dorms instead of the teacher dorms, because 1. it was higher up meaning more quiet and 2. no one could disturb him easily. All the teachers had keys to the roofs of the teacher dorms and he found out that more than one teacher enjoyed the roof for its place high up.
Scratch that, most of the teachers enjoyed the roof tops. He found that out already and it was only the third night here.
Hizashi and Nemuri learned to adore the roof tops due the fact Shouta hung up there so much of the time so of course his husband and best friend decided they were the perfect meet-up points because it put Shouta a little bit at ease.
All Might surprisingly enjoyed the rooftops, claiming that he was surprised too, but it reminded him of a first time meeting he had with a friend of his; kinda sweet and his face showed nothing but pride and joyfulness when speaking of his friend. Shouta could rest assured that whomever this person is, he was a good person. Shouta was kinda interested in meeting this person, but that waited for a later date.
Nezu enjoyed the free air on top of roofs.
Snipe liked the view.
Power Loader enjoyed the fact that the place didn't reek of smoke, burnt metal and wire. The poor man.
The teacher dorm's roof was almost never peaceful at this time of day so Shouta simply had to choose a different one. That different one being the Class 1-A dorms was also one of convenience too. This class was the one that would 'cause trouble in the dorms so being nearby wasn't a bad idea. Aizawa positioned himself to face the door so he be able who ever came through - not that people other than staff could get through, but Shouta is paranoid as fuck.
Today's paranoia kinda paid off today, because just as he was drifting off the vent cover popped off and was quietly placed inside the vent to avoid unnecessary clutter and noise. And out came a guitar? Was his sleep paralysis demons getting into music? Who knew, they could live their life the way they wished. Who was he to judge, he married a loud yellow cockatiel.
Shouta blinked a couple times to see a familiar green boy pop out of the vent after the guitar was carefully placed on the ground next to the door. Fully aware of his surroundings he sees the resident problem child shake off any dust on his hair and wipe it off his clothes. Which was a limited edition All Might Silver Age Hoodie on top of a shirt that had the word 'shirt' written on it and some aqua shorts with white stripes. Shouta would've said it was tacky if almost anyone else wore that outfit yet Midoriya pulled it off without a sweat. Maybe because the entire outfit just said 'Izuku Midoriya' all over it. Kinda like how his hero costume made him look like a hobo, but his friends told him never to change it because it was him in that costume and it was practical.
So maybe that's why Shouta couldn't help, but to half-smile at the young green boy's outfit because it summed him up pretty well. It was what people called endearing.
Midoriya had finished dusting himself off and pulled out his water bottle - where did he store that? - and got some water.
'Ah he learned the first rule of being a vent gremlin; always carry water with you so you can flush your throat free from the dust collected from the dusty vents. Though they shouldn't be that dusty... wait Todoroki did a full remodel so yeah it could be that dusty.'.
Shouta just stayed put in his caterpillar from reading the stress radiating from the boy, Midoriya lived with his mother, right? And he really isn't loud, more quiet and meek, so it wouldn't be wrong if his mother was similar along the lines. So living with a bunch of people and them being really loud must be an adjustment for Midoriya.
'I'm sure he'll be able to get used to his new living conditions quickly. After all, Midoriya's pretty flexible from what I've observed.'
Shouta blinked worriedly at Midoriya, 'right?'.
Shouta was just an overly worried and overworked teacher, right? Cause he's never really seen Midoriya like this before, he looked so small and Shouta couldn't believe he was saying this about Midoriya, so defenseless...
He didn't know that Shouta was here...
Did the kid put up an act around everyone?
Shouta guessed it was to make people not worry for him, but why was he so scared of everything? Actually scratch that, Midoriya is smart and has been put through two villain attacks and has intercepted the Kamino incident. He had full rights to be afraid, because he was just a kid. Yet, Midoriya acted more mature than adults sometimes... why?
What happened to one of his kids to make him so terrified of the world?
The more he thought about it, the more he spiraled realising how much that boy gives, but never takes... it was unhealthy. He needed someone to intervene, but Shouta didn't think it would be easy due to the fact this probably has been going on for a long time. Maybe whatever he's doing right now, was a way to take from nothing... Shouta kept his silence as the boy plucked to strings tuning the guitar. He took note of how Midoriya sat close to the edge, but not close enough for him if he were to startle to drop the guitar and have it fall.
The guitar had scorch marks all over it, the strings looked like they were recently replaced, yet the guitar seemed to be old and destroyed... burns covering it as if it was thrown into a fire.
Midoriya finished tuning his guitar, silence washed over both of them. It was unbelievably tense for Shouta as he kept as silent as possible.
Izuku was aware of Aizawa-sensei's presence from the beginning. He saw a bit of a yellow sleeping bag and black hair before he climbed out the vent. Most of his body screamed abort at him when he noticed his teacher's presence, his mind recalling all of his teachers of the past and horrible they were, his heart screamed at the memories, already under a lot of stress since the move and his father recently calling him, but never Inko...
Izuku let him go to voicemail but his voice brought back some bad memories.
Plus, his classmates were loud, all he could hear were his parents screaming at each other... over what his worth was - the obvious answer was nothing, after all he's worthless.
The pain behind everything, you deserve to suffer.
Izuku couldn't keep the facade of being okay up 24/7 and with two hearing quirks in his class along with cameras all over campus, it was hard to feel like no one was there. That he was alone, 'cause truly he wasn't and that kind of feeling was new. The feeling carried a kind of comfort he has never had, yet a new kind of paranoia hit him. Before UA, company meant pain, it meant sorrow. So when there was no immediate pain, Izuku was suspicious... not they deserved that suspicion. They haven't done anything, but be nice to him... it was just... yeah.
So, when Izuku learned of Aizawa's presence, he was half-convinced just to turn around, yet some traitorous sliver of him wanted to extend a branch to Aizawa. He listened to it obviously, even though almost every part of him yelled to high-tail it; yet, Izuku really wanted some kind of true connection to someone that didn't insult him every other word, when and if they talked to him. Someone to see through his mask...
Kacchan could see through it. He doesn't do anything about it either.
He doesn't know what's actually going on. He doesn't care about it. Why should he care about a useless deku like you?
Izuku sat down and started tuning out everything. Coming back to reality after the guitar's strings were the correct notes, Aizawa's presence was stronger than ever... Izuku could feel his eyes on his back - well no turning back now. Sitting in the silence, Izuku savored it for a bit, then chose a song. Just to confirm a suspicion he has had seeing the man with his own eyes; maybe if he reached out to him, he'll reach back.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6Iu4GUhIFE
Midoriya's posture straightened as he started to play, in silent anticipation Shouta focused in on the boy.
"There's gotta be a reason that I'm here on Earth", Midoriya voice cut through the quiet, "Gotta be a reason for the dust and the dirt."
"The changing of the seasons never changed my hurt,", Shouta's ears open to pay attention to the lyrics as the kid sang out to the world.
"So what's it worth? What's it worth?". Shouta shifted a little, "Worth another shot of whiskey and another sip of gin."
"Another drop of poison that is slowly sinking in. If we're going down together, better take another hit. We won't be here forever, so let's make the best of it.", Midoriya carried into the post-chorus, his voice haunting the air.
"Walking down to the burial ground with a sad song in his brain. General Cloud is an old man now, but it feels like yesterday.", Shouta's brain connected burial ground and Cloud... no.
"He was on the front lines, stranded on the beach; crawling to his best friend, floating in the sea.", Nonononononononononono.
" But he didn't make it, he still can't believe; how arbitrary fate is, he says".
Shirakumo.
Shouta lost himself in thoughts of his old friend, refraining from actually crying because 1) that would give him away and 2) not gonna cry in front of a student. But he is going to have a drink when he gets back to the teacher dorms, and cry in his husband's arms.
'Eyes on objective Shouta', Shouta turned his attention back to the song, he missed around half of the second verse.
"Living out a suitcase, serving at a bar", done that before. Not fun. "Saving up some pennies, working after dark.".
"Is she gonna make it? She still can't believe how arbitrary fate is, she says", Midoriya's voice carries onto the chorus once again.
...
'That fucker'.
...
Shouta meant that in all loving senses.
Shouta finally faced the facts, Midoriya knew that he was there. And he directed a fucking song at him. To add on he somehow knew about Shirakumo . Or had a guess about him. Midoriya wrapped up the song and placed the guitar to the side as he stared off into the sky, where the sun once was.
He was waiting. Shouta let out an elongated sigh, and left his sleeping bag to sit by his student.
"What gave me out?", he questioned the kid.
"I saw a yellow sleeping bag and black hair; logically the most likely person was you." Midoriya turned to him and continued after a beat, "I was in the vent still and figured you hadn't noticed me yet. I had half the mind to just turn around and come back later.".
The kid's face was blank giving away nothing, "Why?".
A confused frown spread across the kid's face as his eyebrows furrowed in thought, "Why what?".
"Why didn't you turn around and come back later?", Shouta studied the kid's face as a small smile came across his face, it reminded him of Nedzu honestly but more compassionate, "There's several reasons, but I'll tell you two of them, something in my gut was telling me to and I wanted to see if a theory was correct.".
"And that theory was?".
"It's a little bit intrusive so sorry about that, but I wanted to see if you had a dead friend. Given some of your odd behaviors, it wasn't hard to see. I just wanted to understand your mannerisms a little better. Why do you do things that you do." his hands shifting around as if they were explaining, "The suspicion started before UA, really, I found out about the pro hero Eraserhead when I was a preschooler. You became a part of 'my top 10 favorite heroes besides All Might' club real quick. So naturally I wanted to get information about you, which is really hard. I finally got enough information to put a personality profile in my notebooks for you during 4th grade. When I was reviewing the journal because I got some more information to add, it kinda clicked that your behaviors weren't very normal so I had to just ask myself, why? Which led me to do some research on your UA days to see what could've possibly happened so early on that it would rock the boat forever. I took note how Shirakumo, you, and Mic were in a photo together chatting, so I looked into more in that area. Nothing came up on Mic, well besides happy things. Congrats by the way. But when I looked into Shirakumo, I read how he died on the job while working, so I looked into the fight and behold Eraserhead was a part of it. Soooo, ummmmm yeah. Sorry.".
Mioriya began mumbling apologies a thousand miles a minute. Shouta just stared at the kid in disbelief, "You know if you used your analysis skills on field you would probably be able to get out of there less injured.".
That broke Midoriya out of his apologetic rambles and got a small smile out of him, "What do you mean? I use my analysis skills on the field all the time.".
"That may be true, given how often you take the weak points of the enemy and use it for your advantage, but you still get injured so explain that.", Shouta argued.
"Tactical sacrifices I'm willing to make." Midoriya stated as if it was a known fact. Yeah, the vodka in the teachers dorm had his name on it. Shouta let out a loud audible exhausted sigh.
' Tactical sacrifices? This is your health we're talking about, not some invaluable wooden doll. Now thinking about it, Bakugou usually only calls people insults so for him to call Midoriya 'Deku' implies that it is or at least originally was an insult...'.
Shouta looked at the fumbling boy before him, was he going to ask this?
The answer, yes, yes he was.
"So...", it was a bit shaky, god if only Hizashi or you know ANYONE ELSE was here, Midoriya snapped his attention right at him, "Sorry if this question is a bit invasive, but I feel a lot less guilty after you just rational thinked to find my trauma.", Midoriya mumbled another 'sorry', "What does 'deku' mean? And I mean the original meaning, not Uraraka's remix of it.".
...
Silence was the only thing Shouta got, Midoriya's eyes looking at his lap. Shouta frowned at the sight, "You don't have to answer the question if you don't want to tell me.".
Midoriya looked up at that and just blinked; keeping his silence for a little bit longer.
Just when he thought he wasn't going to tell him, Midoriya responded, "It's not that I don't want to tell you, it's just... give me a moment to figure it out... how I'm going to say this?". Midoriya let out a small dry laugh at the end of it...
Midoriya did a sharp intake of air and slowly let it out, "Just promise you're not going to commit murder.", Midoriya gave Shouta a small smile.
"Huh, why?" Shouta inquiried.
"Just promise, okay?", Midoirya responded.
"Fine, I promise." Shouta said as blandly as he could manage in the situation.
"Deku, was another reading of my given name. Kacchan was the one to assign it, when we were like 4 or 5. In short it means useless. In long it was a shortened version of 'Deku No Bou' literally meaning 'wooden dolls' or figuratively meaning 'useless'. So I guess Deku always kinda meant 'useless wooden doll'. He gave me this name because I'm not naturally good at a lot of things, and he was a natural talent... so I guess childhood arrogance? It kinda took like wildfire in my school so it kinda became a staple name for me. And like you said, Uraraka remixed it to mean 'You can do it', so it's not that I hate the name. It's just a bag of mixed feelings towards it, but in the end; I've always identified with that name so it was just easy to choose something that you would already respond to. Along with the Dekiru remix, I'm perfectly content with it and the more positive light I put it in, I believe that I will grow to like the name." Midoriya fumbled with his hands as he stared into his lap.
Shouta swore under his breathe because 1) Deku was a really bad insult, 2) everyone let him choose it without questions asked, 3) Shouta should've asked about it after the first time it was used because nothing good was implied with it, and 4) he was going to murder some schools and a certain explosive pomeranian, "I apologize, but I believe I have some murder to commit.".
Midoriya looked at him and quickly input, "But you said that you wouldn't.".
"It seems that the death sentence has overlooked it in name of murder." Shouta jokingly input.
"But-" Midoriya paused, "But you promised. ".
Ah, yes the alcohol cabinet was his for the taking when he got back, because for fucks sake kid, "So your telling me, that you practically got given the label of being useless and all that probably came with that. I'm no idiot Midoriya, if you got called useless, you probably got shit treatment by your classmates. And you don't want me to burn that place to the fucking ground.", Shouta's exaperation mighy've leaked through.
Midoriya nodded, Shouta wasn't aware of when Midoriya started crying... but the tear ducts were flowing pretty strong now.
" Why?".
An eerie silence fell between the two, Shouta a worried adult and Midoriya a skeptical scared teen.
"B-" Midoriya broke down into sobs, fuck . Shouta was too sober to deal with this shit, or was he too emotionally inept to deal with this shit? Who cares? He wasn't the most qualified for this part of the job at all. Yet here he was dealing with it. Midoriya tried again, "B-be-cause,", breaking even further into his sobs.
Shouta reached and pulled Midoriya into a hug, saying "You don't have to answer that.".
And Izuku didn't, just kept sobbing clinging to his teacher as a lifeline has finally been casted after drowning for so long.