Josephine.

Maybe I just wanted to know what she tastes like…

Josephine didn't know what came to her that she asked a girl (or do they call them a hooker?) to come with and bring to her apartment. Now she's starting to regret it, though at the same time she was thrilled, especially, looking at this hooker… ' damn! she better be doing other jobs than giving pleasure to others…her beauty deserves more than being used by one's desire…' says the one who called and brought her here.

She could feel her heart hammering along the tapping of her heels against the cemented floor, wanting to get out of her chest, as they made their way to her apartment.

Finally reaching the door, she unlocked and pushed it open and stepped inside, when a pair of hands suddenly spun her around and shoved her against the wall. She gasped aloud and her knees turned weak by the feel of a hungry mouth kissing her neck. Her hand, automatically, held the hooker's shoulders and pushed her, gently. "Wait," she breathlessly said, her face flustered. 

Does it have to be this soon?

Her eyes darted down the girl's plump lips.

"Just tell me what you want me to do with you," the girl said but that accent killed Josephine right then and there. She mindlessly licked her lips. Then she hesitated and grabbed the girl's neck and crashed her lips to hers, closing her eyes.

The girl broke away, smiling amusedly while biting on her lower lip. "This is your first time." It wasn't a question.

Josephine tried to collect herself, feeling more flustered. "You just told me that you're here to do what I told you to do."

"You haven't told me anything. You just kissed me." The woman brushed a hand to her wavy blond locks, and Josephine could only stare. She wanted to ask if it was in their job description to look breathtaking.

"Fine. You're right, it's my first time and…" Josephine relaxed her shoulders, blowing a sigh. Then she took a step forward, passing by the hooker, going to the bathroom but stopping halfway. She turned to face her. "...I-I don't know a damn idea what I want or-or how this is supposed to be."

"Why'd you call me?"

Josephine blinked once. Why did she call her? Why did she bring her here?

She regarded her a moment, trailing her eyes down her outfit which embraced her curves. "You're beautiful."

Josephine turned the shower to lukewarm, although she's tempted to make it cold. 

'What's gotten to you?' she asked herself.

But she had been thinking about this for a long time. She's been to a few dates before but none seemed to last. After two days, they never called and she's never planning to call them either. Maybe she just wasn't interested. And she's scared to give herself to anyone… and yet…

You picked up this hooker. For what? Just to say you're sex life isn't boring and that you're not (finally) a virgin anymore?

At least she's giving herself to someone experienced… and it's only for one night… no strings attached… and no judgment.

And yet she sounded desperate.

She heaved a deep sigh when the door creaked open. She, at once, turned and saw the hooker stepping inside… and naked.

Her eyes widened, and her cheeks reddened. Her fingertips turned numb against the cold wall. She could only part her lips but no words came out. 

The beautiful lady continued walking towards her. Josephine leaned off the wall to face her; she swallowed. 

The lady ran her hands to her arms down to her wrist, pulling her close as she leaned to her face. 

With her lips trembling, Josephine parted them, closing her eyes. Her heart wouldn't stop drumming hard and fast inside her chest, especially when she felt the lady's hot breath against her mouth.

"You look wonderful," the lady whispered before closing the gap between them, taking Josephine's lips fully into her mouth, making her gasp.

The lady, then, pushed her back to the wall as she continued giving her open mouth kisses which Josephine tried to match. She didn't know where to put her hands so they're steady on the wall when the hooker grabbed her arms and made it wrap around her slim waist. Josephine dug her fingers against her soft skin, causing her to kiss this beauty deeper. And she moaned as she felt the hooker's hands stroke her breasts. It's the first time someone touched them like that, making her wetter. So, she pulled her blonde locks and kissed down her neck. She loved listening to the girl's heavy breathing.

"What can I call you?" Josephine asked, breathless as she continued kissing her neck.

"Bennie," the hooker moaned.

Josephine broke away for a bit and stared at her. Then she said, looking into her eyes, "Bennie," grabbing her face and reached for her lips, kissing her sensually.

Bennie pulled one of Josephine's legs up and hooked it around her waist. And Josephine loved the contact. Delicious shivers ran through her as she felt Bennie caressed her hand from her butt to her inner thigh, and touched her wetness. Josephine blushed and let out a moan.

Then Bennie began to stroke her. Oh sh--

"Is that all right?"

Josephine could only bop her head, she closed her eyes, letting Bennie do her. Loving the feel of her hands against her wetness.

"Open your eyes, babe. Look at me."

Babe? Josephine opened her eyes. She called her babe. She felt more flustered. Her mouth parted, letting out a sharp breath of pleasure. 

"Don't look away," Bennie whispered, hoarsely, going faster. Then a smile graced her lips. "You're so wet." 

Josephine could only whimper and squirm to her touch. She couldn't even stop her mouth from panting, so she tried to press her lips shut.

"Moan for me," Bennie leaned and brushed her tongue, erotically, through her lips and Josephine did moan.

She's responding to everything that Bennie said. Damn… 

And soon her moans became louder filling the bathroom and deafening the water splashing through the shower, as her body moved along Bennie's sensual strokes. Arching her back as she's closing in to her peak...

But it didn't stop there…

After her first release, and drying themselves from showering, Bennie at once pushed her down the bed and began kissing her.

Josephine couldn't still believe this was happening.

All she could was to pant and caress her soft blond locks as Bennie kissed and stroked her breast with her tongue. Then she went and touched her wetness again, spreading her legs in the process.

Oh, fuck!

Josephine let her head in the softness of her pillows, letting arousal take over, failing to close her mouth with her moanings, letting Bennie take her to places she never knew existed. 

"Please stay…" Josephine quietly, said as she caught Bennie wearing her clothes back.

Bennie stopped from zipping her skirt, turning to her.

Josephine stared at her still exposed breasts, those pink nipples. They're beautiful. Her eyes ran back to her angelic face.

"Stay," she repeated.

Bennie hesitated, then she managed a smile, unzipping her skirt again. "You want another round?" She pulled her skirt down, leaving nothing and hopped back on the bed.

"No. I just… want you here." 

Bennie stared at her face. "I don't do attachments, darling."

Are you starting to? Josephine wanted to ask but that's impossible and… strange and too soon. But then she suddenly questioned herself if she's beginning to. She just fixed her gaze to Bennie's face.

"Just stay… until morning."

Bennie pursed her lips and said, "Okay." Then she grabbed and stretched one of Josephine's arms across the bed and lied there, snuggling close, surprising the latter.

"This is actually the first time someone asked me to stay…" Bennie began tracing her fingers along Josephine's chest. Then she tilted her head to look at her face. "...And a woman to pick me up."

Josephine looked at her. Really? There was a thud in her chest. Then she chuckled, lightly, looking away. "Maybe I'm just hopeless."

"No. You made the right choice," Bennie said and silence engulfed them.

Josephine, mindlessly, played her fingers through Bennie's hair. She smelled nice. Does she usually smell nice? She suddenly felt conscious of her odor. Though, she didn't move.

"S-so… d-does this make your first time? You know, w-with a woman?" Josephine hesitated.

Bennie looked at her again. "Yes. How about you?"

Josephine bopped her head. "Actually, it's entirely my first time."

Bennie's eyes widened just a bit. "You mean you're-- Not even with a guy?"

Josephine flushed and slowly shook her head.

"Why?"

Josephine stared at Bennie, leaned and quickly kissed the hooker on the lips. Hopefully, it's enough as an answer. She avoided her gaze.

Bennie didn't say anything and they let the peaceful darkness and its silence enclose them until sleep began to sip in.

Josephine found the side of her bed empty the next morning. Her hand traced along the space Bennie left and it's still warm. So, she just left.

She looked and still found herself naked. She brought her hands to her face. Did last night really happen?

Then she touched her lips, and it curled up into a smile. She thought she did something she never thought she would do. 

She then imagined if Bennie didn't leave at once then maybe they're…

Her body felt hot by the wild thoughts forming in her head. She brought her hand down and began touching herself. She's surprised she still wanted more.

But she remembered someone once told her that if you've got a taste of it, you'd start looking for it.

So that night, she found herself going back to the strip bar where she found Bennie. She cast her eyes around. 

This bar was somewhat tamed despite the seductive architecture. Yes, that's how she described it. With dim lights and dark concrete walls with neon-lit letters that says "X X X", "ADULTS ONLY", "DIRTY" and anything indicative were posted on the wall.   

There were almost naked ladies dancing on the stage you couldn't touch, but there were also girls, beautiful and young ones, who you could call to entertain. Then Bennie crossed her mind.

She wasn't planning to call her again, right? But her eyes began searching for that certain blonde, her feet began to walk.

The tables were surrounded with men with two or three hookers joining them; some were sitting on their laps. Josephine looked at each of the ladies' faces to each table she passed on 

"Hey gorgeous!" A beautiful dark-haired lady wearing skimpy clothing suddenly appeared in front of her. "Looking for fun?" Her eyes trailed down her body. Josephine gulped. She's here to look for a lady like her, right? But strangely, nobody, not even this woman, appealed to her. 

"You're here."

Josephine turned and her heart began to race seeing Bennie approaching.

"What are you doing here?"

"L-looking for you?"

"You know each other?" The dark-haired lady said, then she stomped off. Josephine followed her leaving figure with her eyes, then she turned back to Bennie. She almost felt hopeless she wasn't going to see her again. 

"So… tell. You kept thinking about me," Bennie smiled flirtatiously, playing a finger through her wavy blond hair. Josephine flushed and ran her eyes down her body.

She's wearing a black leather tube that accentuated her curves perfectly and hugging her breasts beautifully which made Josephine think of those dirty bastards ogling at her, making her insides turn. But she's also one of those dirty bastards, feeling her mouth dry as she ogled. And if she'd be honest, she only came back here for Bennie.

"How did you--"

"I'm just joking," Bennie giggled, touching her arm playfully.

"Yes, it's true. I can't stop thinking about you."

Josephine sensed a sudden reluctance from the blonde as her smile faded. Then Bennie pursed her lips and smiled again. "How about you show me?," she winked.

Without hesitation, Josephine pulled her close and kissed her, fervently. She missed her. She's afraid she's starting to have an obsession with this hooker. She poked her tongue against her red-tinted lips, wanting to explore her mouth. 

They kissed for a while. Then Josephine broke off but with her face still close to her. "Let's get out of here," she murmured against her lips, she planted another kiss on Bennie.

"Come on." The hooker licked her lips and brushed a hand to her hair before she started towards the exit, with Josephine walking beside her.

She brought her back to her apartment and they fucked through the night.

And it went on for two more nights and Josephine even asked Bennie to stay through the day. It's true what they said, morning sex was lovely.

"What if I asked you to be mine exclusively?" Josephine asked one night after another series of their rough lovemaking.

She's holding a glass of water in hand, leaning against the wall. Bennie had to leave for another service to another important client.

"Can you afford me?" Bennie asked as she was putting on her boots.

Josephine regarded a moment, pondering on her glass. She looked at her. "Why don't you find another job?" 

"I wish I can. You never know how I thought of that every fucking night whenever I have to strip and give my body to different men. But this is all I do for a living. This is what helped me and my family live. You know what I mean?"

Bennie flew to America thinking of pursuing the modelling career for a start when a lady approached her and offered her a job she thought related to modelling because of a beautiful salary, and it just started. Now Bennie thought there's no easy way out.

Josephine looked at her, wanting to say I like you. But she held herself back, and watched Bennie leave, and she never felt so helpless.

Was she harboring feelings for her? A hooker?

But Bennie was  more than just a hooker to her. She's sensible and sweet. She could tell her everything without judgment and she listened. She made her feel good about herself, though she wondered how many men did she effortlessly make feel good. And Josephine wished she only did those things to her.

She remembered asking her what she dreamt of becoming when she was young.

"I want to be an actress, to act on stage. A theatre artist, maybe. As long as I can act." 

And Josephine saw the stars in her eyes and she knew, for Bennie, that dream was far within her reach.

Though, Josephine found herself wanting to help her reach them. As someone  who's only working as a clerical staff in a small law firm.

"How about you? You're working in a law firm so you normally meet beautiful lawyers and yet you're stuck with a hooker like me."

"They don't like me. And you're not just a hooker, Bennie."

"Raise your standards."

How could she…

Josephine looked at Bennie. "Why? You're smart."

"You're the first one to say that, everyone thinks I'm only good with my mouth."

"That's a bonus." 

Bennie chuckled, and went to kiss her, and her kisses were different. Full of want, fervent. It took a while for Josephine to open her eyes as they broke away. 

And maybe that's where it all started.

With a bouquet of red roses in hand (kinda cliché), Josephine went back to that strip bar for the first time since (as she only called or texted Bennie to go to her place). But she was not around. She asked around to where she might be, even though she had an idea where…  to one of her clients.

So she tried again the next night. She almost lost the bouquet from her hand when she saw bruises on Bennie's face. She rushed towards her.

"Who did this to you?" 

Bennie brought her down the table to take a seat.

"He likes it rough. This is nothing."

"No." She tried and reached for her hand.

"Are those for me?" Bennie's eyes stopped on the bouquet on her lap.

Josephine blushed. Biting on her lower lip, she nodded. "...Yeah." Then she handed it to her. She watched Bennie take them, the way her green eyes turned gentle and the soft smile on her lips. Josephine could stare at her all day.

"Thank you. Nobody has ever given me roses before." Bennie looked at her.

"Will you go out with me?" Josephine could feel her heart beating, especially when Bennie gave her that look. She's praying she'd say yes.

"Are you-- like a date?"

Josephine bopped her head.

"N-no. I told you I don't do attachments."

Josephine closed her eyes, she knew she looked like a fool. Though it's breaking her heart. 

Her rejection.

"You don't like me, do you?... You can't."

Josephine stared back at her. Not losing hope. "I can and I do."

Bennie chuckled, breathlessly. "Don't be daft."

"I'm serious."

"You don't know me, love."

"Then we can start here."

"Josephine-"

"Just say that you don't like me. Stop making excuses."

Bennie didn't speak.

"Say it, Bennie. Don't you like me?"

"Josephine, please."

"Just say it, then I'll stop bothering you. This will be the last."

"I do. I do like you. But this can't be real. You just say that you like me, because I make you feel good. And it's my job to make you feel good. Have you asked how many of you tried to pursue me only to lea--" she sighed sharply. "No, Josephine. I can't. I'm willing to be just your regular hooker."

Maybe it's really ridiculous to develop feelings for a woman like her. But still, Josephine doesn't get it.

"I will not stop, Bennie."

"Stop wasting your time on me."

"No. Especially, you like me too." Josephine then stood up and left.

Bennie.

Bennie found herself waiting for Josephine's text or call, or for her to go to the bar, but she didn't; and it went on for a month, and another and another until she stopped hoping. She knew it. She's just like everyone else.

But it's nothing new, nobody really wanted to get serious with the likes of her, until one day her boss came up to her, telling her that she's going to be an exclusive, like a courtesan, to a client named Josephine.

Where'd she got the money to afford her?

"She wants me to give you this." Her boss handed her an elegant red envelope.

Bennie took it and opened it as she got back to her apartment. 

It's an address which she thought was a hotel with a note saying: Dress nicely.

She was to meet her there tomorrow night by 7.

Did she move?

But the thought of seeing Josephine gave her a strange swell in her stomach. She thought of calling her but she decided against it. She might have changed numbers. And even if she didn't, Bennie never dared to try.

It's been almost seven months since she last saw her.

Getting ready for the night the next day, afternoon, Bennie took a while taking a bath and choosing what to wear. She changed for a number of clothes, or lingeries, and even shopped for some, using the advanced payment Josephine sent.

Dress nicely. The note said and now she's feeling a little pressured. What should she wear?!

She looked at herself many times through the mirror if her makeup looked okay, or else she would erase and repeat all over again.

Bennie couldn't believe Josephine still had this effect on her. Why was she trying so hard and working so hard to look beautiful in front of her.

She sometimes, no, most of the time, kept going back to the night Josephine asked her out. Even though a part of her says that she wasn't like the others, what happened in the past triggered her. She's learned her lesson the hard way. And it took her a while to build a wall around her, being a sex worker, that nobody could ever cross until Josephine happened.

At first, she thought maybe Josephine reminded her of her innocence; she grew a liking to her, like a mother to a child. 

Then one night, as she was in the middle of happily giving her pleasure and hearing her moan her name, did she thought of having a relationship with her, which she never did to any of her clients before. Usually, it's them that wanted her to be with them, not the other way around.

She thought whoever would be with Josephine was lucky. And at that moment, she's the one spending almost all her nights with her. And she couldn't help thinking that Josephine would give her happiness (as she enjoyed spending her time with her, talking with her and simply seeing her), while also thinking how ridiculous that idea was. Josephine would never like her, that's something she instilled in her mind. As Josephine deserved someone better who had bigger dreams like those beautiful attorneys she talked to and mingled with.

So having a relationship with her had only been an ideal dream to Bennie which helped her get through the day, and which also gave her a tiny bit of hope that she also deserved something good.

After finally settling on what to wear, Bennie stepped out, called a cab and made her way to the hotel, only to learn that the address given to her was a bloody restaurant, after a ten minute cab ride.

And the restaurant was even somewhat classy. 

Taking a deep breath she went in, clutching on her coat.

Soft jazz played and a waiter approached her asking if she's with someone.

"Yes," Bennie said, almost reluctant.

"Who might they be?"

"Huh?" Bennie blinked and began to cast her eyes around, and mumbled, "Josephine--" She trailed off, her breath escaping her, seeing the woman - seated a little farther to the right - who could make her heart beat in a different way, and for the butterflies in her stomach to go wild.

"T-there," she said, just above a whisper.

"I'm sorry?"

She slowly brought her hand up and pointed. "Josephine. I-I'm with her," she said, not taking her eyes off her.

"Oh, come this way, madame." The waiter ushered her to the table, and Bennie, with every step, tried to collect herself not to get lost once she stood next to her. She gripped on her coat tighter.

She came here for business, not to dwell on her unresolved and misguided feelings. It's from the past. But of all places, why here?

She remembered what Josephine asked her that night after giving her those beautiful roses and now there's a bouquet resting on her lap.

No, this isn't a date.

But Bennie caught herself staring as Josephine seemed unaware of her approaching. And she only grew lovelier, taking her breath away; her hair was down and she's wearing a simple black tube dress which ended just a few inches above her knees.

She thought she wasn't ready to see her yet. Maybe she could back out and say she didn't want this job, right? But it's too late as Josephine was already looking back at her.

After taking a seat in front of her and thanking the waiter, she said, "I thought… what are we doing here?"

Josephine blinked, surprised by her sudden words. She straightened in her seat. "W-what do you think?"

Bennie leaned towards the table and whispered loudly. "I'm only wearing a bloody lingerie underneath." She gripped on her coat.

Josephine blinked again and glanced down her body, then to her face. A hint of smirk appeared on her lips. "That will be of use later. For now, have these." She handed her the bouquet.

But Bennie stopped her hands. It all reminded her of the past. "Why are you doing this?"

"I told you, I'm not going to stop."

"Then you're only wasting your time. I go here to work, not to have dinner." 

"Then consider this as part of your job."

To have dinner with you?

She couldn't consider this as a job but only more reason for attachments. But she said, "All right."

"And take these please." 

Bennie stared at the bouquet and reluctantly took them, as part of her job. She must start considering everything she and Josephine would do starting tonight, a work. Nothing more.

"Thank you," Josephine said, softly.

"No, thank you."

Bennie hated declining her or at least to hurt her; and she hated that she couldn't find it in herself to hurt her.

The waiter finally came to help with the awkwardness hanging around them, and handed them the menus.

They, silently, flipped through it. Then Josephine asked if there's anything she liked. 

This was actually Bennie's first time to eat in this kind of restaurant, so she really didn't know what to do or expect. And she thought all the food looked delicious; feeling famished, suddenly. She flipped more, taking a while to decide.

"You can order them all if you want," Josephine chuckled. She looked and saw her watching her, amusedly. Bennie hid a blush, and decided to lie. "I-I don't really know what to choose."

So she let Josephine order for them.

After the waiter took their order, another uncomfortable silence embraced them. Thanks to the soft music, it somehow eased the tension.

"So how are you?" Josephine broke the silence first.

Bennie fidgeted a tad. "I'm doing fine." And she decided to end there, even though she also wanted to know how she was. Or if she's dating anyone, and if she still stays in that apartment. 

"Aren't you going to ask me?" Josephine asked after a moment.

Bennie looked at her then she crossed her legs. "I'm curious about something." She paused and waited for Josephine's to react, but she only received a curious gaze. She continued, "Where'd you get the money to get me exclusively?"

"It doesn't matter. You're here. It's all that matters."

Stop, Bennie wanted to say. Stop messing with my feelings. How could her simple words leave such a huge effect on her?

"It does matter to me."

"Why? I'm willing to pay you extra if it's the only way I can finally have you to myself and make you leave that job."

"I want this job, Josephine."

"We both know that's a lie."

"We're not going to have this conversation again."

"Better."

The whole dinner was spent with silence after that conversation, and they didn't even make it to dessert and Josephine just paid the bills and ushered Bennie outside. And Bennie was thankful, because she didn't know how much longer she could stay there. The tension was just too high. And she knew Josephine was angry too.

Josephine took her to a car. So she finally bought a car of her own. She opened the door on the backseat and told her to get in and she followed, closing the door behind her. Bennie looked at her confused. "What-"

"Strip," Josephine commanded.

Bennie searched into her eyes but she couldn't read them. 'So she wanted to do it here.' She slowly began to unzip her coat. 

Then Josephine suddenly crashed her lips onto her, surprising her, as soon as she opened her coat, revealing the lingerie she carefully chose to wear for tonight.

But this wasn't the Josephine she knew. 

Bennie tried to match her hungry kisses but Josephine was acting really strange. And the way she held her, strong and tight.

She tried to break off but Josephine pushed her down to the seat. "Jo… sephine!" Bennie moaned between her fervent kisses.

But Josephine wasn't giving her the time of day. She pulled her coat open and reached between her legs and started stroking it. Bennie gasped. 

"This is what you want, right?" Josephine whispered hoarsely against her ear and felt her nibbled it as she continued to pleasure her, slipping her fingers inside her lacy panties.

"Hah! Fuck you!" Bennie gritted her teeth but she's slowly yielding to her touches.

"Yes. You just want to be fucked and not to be loved."

Josephine's words hit her, how she wanted to push her away but she couldn't cause she knew what Josephine was doing even though it somewhat scared her and also making her mad, yet it turned her on. 

"How… the hell… do you… know!" She said between her pants of pleasure.

Josephine stopped and looked into her eyes. "Then prove me wrong." She kissed her again but just as fervently. And the way her fingers stroked her, never failed to produce a sharp gasp from Bennie. 

Bennie wrapped her arms around her, reaching for the zipper of her tube and pulled it down.

YEARS LATER…

Bennie spotted Josephine from afar… with someone; laughing with her. She looked happy. And all she could do was watch. 

A tear escaped her eyes.

What if she chose her that night? What if she stopped pushing her away and chose her own happiness?

If only she could turn back time.

But it's too late.

She's about to turn on her heel when Josephine, accidentally, looked at her direction and their eyes met. There was a loud thud inside Bennie's chest.

And in that moment, time stopped for them.