Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

To:       Miss Kara Danvers, Executive Assistant

RE:      Release from Probationary Period         

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Conclusion of probationary period and continuation of employment

Date: Friday 5^th August, 10:15am

Dear Ms. Danvers,

I am writing to you further to our meeting on Thursday 5^th of August in connection with your probationary period.

As you are aware, during the course of your probationary period it was necessary for Ms. Catherine Grant CEO and myself to speak to you on Wednesday 4^th August in connection with your destruction of company property and poor time keeping. This conduct does not meet CatCo World Wide Media standards as set out in section 3, paragraph 2 of your Catco employee handbook.

You were subsequently placed on probation and given a chance to improve during the remainder of this period.  In this time your line manager Ms. Catherine Grant CEO has withdrawn her complaint that you irreparably damaged the following company items:

• 2 keyboards
• 3 printers
• 7 door handles
• 1 iPad
• 4 Office chairs
• 1 desk

Following a review by Mr. Winslow Schott of the IT department and Ms. Catherine Grant CEO, it has been determined that these incidents of property damage were ‘accidental’ or caused by inferior technology, fixtures and fittings (In Ms. Grants own words, “Cheap Target knockoffs and Swedish flatpack chipboard barely capable of lasting a week never mind the frenzy of my Media Empires). As for your punctuality, your line manager has submitted a report stating vast improvement in this area since the initial complaint which necessitated your probation.

For this reason, the standard 14 day review meeting has been cancelled and the decision has been made to end your probationary period effective immediately. Forthwith you are returned to an employee in good standing.

I must warn you that your behavior and performance will continue to be monitored and reviewed in the coming months at your annual review. If your punctuality should once more fall below standards expected at Catco World Wide Media, you will be placed back on probation and further sanctions may follow, up to and including the termination of your employment.

Yours sincerely,

                        Samantha Vestra

                        HR Case Manager

                        CatCo Disciplinary Department

To:       Miss Kara Danvers, Executive Assistant

RE:       Complaint procedure       

Dear Miss Danvers,

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Complaints procedure

Date: Friday 5th August, 10:18am

Dear Ms. Danvers,

Following on from my previous e-mail,  as of 2 minutes ago, which released you from your latest probationary period I feel it is necessary to make you aware that all employees at Catco World Wide Media are subject to employee standards and regulations. These include regulations against workplace bullying and harassment, which even the CEO is subject to. While a theoretical complaint against the CEO would have to be passed from HR to the Board of Directors, this should not discourage anyone from making a complaint. I can personally assure you of confidentiality and that any complaint would be taken seriously, especially where a complaint would be made against someone with a well recorded history of tempestuous workplace interactions.

To date Ms. Danvers, HR has recorded 4 separate instigations of termination paperwork against you, all of which have been mysteriously aborted between 24 and 72 hours after instigation. Moreover, you have been placed on probation no less than 11 times, which again have all been prematurely ended in your favor with 24 to 48 hours of being initiated. The HR department, through our anonymous whistleblower program, has been forwarded six complaints of sexual harassment where you were cited as the victim, an even dozen further complaints where you were believed to be the victim of bullying, vicious verbal assaults, public humiliation and unreasonable requests of a superior. Finally, almost two dozen complaints have been made that you are being exploited and made to work unsocial or excessive hours without pay and outside of your contracted terms.

While the HR department has attempted to investigate these complaints, your refusal to co-operate with any investigation has thus far stymied our attempts to find the truth of these matters.

Ms. Danvers, the HR department is at your disposal should you wish to speak with us regarding any concerns or possible complaints you may wish to lodge.

Yours sincerely,

                         Samantha Vestra

                         HR Case Manager

                         CatCo Disciplinary Department

The End.

Chapter Text

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Updates to CatCo Dress Code

Dear Ms. Grant,

We regret to inform you that we will be unable to implement the changes you requested to the CatCo dress code policy. While we fully understand your concerns regarding the appearance of your executive assistant, legal has noted that creating a portion of the dress code specifically for employees who hold the title "Executive Assistant To Cat Grant" could open CatCo up to a discrimination lawsuit. Furthermore, legal has also noted that the addition of a section to the employee handbook demanding sleeves for anyone with ‘distracting biceps,’ is too open to abuse and unreasonable interpretation that would likely cause judicial review and numerous, costly lawsuits. Moreover, rules dictating skirts and dresses that extend below the knee, and high necklines that reveal nothing more than collarbones would have a detrimental effect on CatCo’s liberal and feminist branding, not to mention our fashion credentials if they were made public.  

While HR sympathises with your concerns that employees have been ‘ogling’ your Executive Assistant, we cannot condone such far reaching changes to the dress code policy to protect her. Should you, or Miss Danvers, wish to lodge sexual harassment complaints against any employees through formal or anonymous whistle-blower channels, then HR is at your disposal.

On an unrelated note, I have attached a copy of building maintenance’s proposals for strategic frosted glass in your office. May I be so presumptuous to say Ms Grant, that you may find yourself less distracted if your view of certain employees and their physique was more obscured.

Sincerely,

Debra Canfield

HR Policy Manager

CatCo Human Resources

To: [email protected]

From: debra.canfield@googlemail

Subject: Re: Personal message.

Dear Kara,

Debra here from HR. I had to blackmail Winn with threats to release an embarrassing video from last year’s CatCo Christmas party to get your personal e-mail. I apologise for the presumption and subtle blackmail. If you feel that you need to lodge a complaint, then I will understand. However, this is an emergency and a most delicate matter that cannot leave a paper trail on CatCo servers through official e-mails.

Strictly off the record Kara, but can you please stop wearing that blue sleeveless dress? If Miss Grant fires one more mail room runner or administrative assistant that she notices ‘ogling’ you, the temp agency says they will blacklist us. They just whitelisted CatCo again after two years without her needing another executive assistant. Please Kara, the Fall Fashion Edition is behind schedule and the department heads can’t afford for Cat to be distracted this week.

You really need to give me your personal phone number so we can set up back channel communication for these issues.

Sincerely,

Debra Canfield

Your ally in HR Policy Manager

CatCo Human Resources

The End.

Chapter Text

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Expense Account Spending

Dear Ms. Grant,

I apologize for bothering you, but I am afraid I need to ask for clarification on your latest expenses report.

As the manager of the hospitality budget for the Editorial and Management floor it is understandable for these expenses to be several magnitudes larger than other floors and departments. Considering the increased requirement for hospitality services for employees working longer, less sociable hours and an increased propensity to host interviews and meetings with outside parties on your floor larger expenses are the norm. However, in the last 12 months the hospitality expenses for your floor and on your personal company expanse credit card have increased exponentially. These increased expenditures include several uniquely novel expenses and clarification is sought on the following:

1. The addition of Belgian Hot Chocolate to the stock drinks in the staff break room/kitchen.
2. The installation and custom stocking of two XXL vending machines with high protein, high fat, high sugar snack items.
3. The subsidizing of the aforementioned vending machine snack items by CatCo to below market value pricing.
4. The purchase of an automatic pancake maker and an All-Clad 7-Quart Gourmet Slow Cooker for the staff break room/kitchen.
5. The increase of your average weekly lunch spends on the company expense credit card from $200 to almost $1000.

Finally Ms Grant, I must also seek clarification of the purchasing of a $5000 Valentino strapless gown in a size smaller than your usual clothes orders.

If you wish to meet to discuss these expenses, I would be happy to meet with you at your convenience. Thank you for your time Ms. Grant and I look forward to your response.

Sincerely,

Beth Mitchell

Expense Account Management

CatCo Human Resources

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Superfluous questions to spending.

Ms. Marshall

I do not appreciate having my time wasted by having to explain the minutia of my very reasonable actions which are always taken for the betterment and more efficient running of my company. Alas, common sense is so rare and thus I will lower myself to explaining the obvious reasons for the expenses you enumerated. Had you properly reviewed the supporting documentation sent with my expense report, you would have noticed my actions were all in line with CatCo magazines own special issue about fostering a positive work environment.

1. In said issue of this very Magazine, which you should have read and which you currently work for, you would have seen reports by Dr. Mitchell Green extolling the increased work efficiency and positive attitude of employees, especially fellow women at certain times of the month, when there is a supply of Hot Chocolate in conjunction with the run of the mill tea and coffee in staff break rooms. We here at CatCo will always endeavour to be anything other than ‘run of the mill’ and, as I myself enjoy a hot chocolate on occasion, I ensured that the stocked brand here in Catco was not some cheap Nestle abomination of refined sugar but is instead the finest Belgian chocolate which my Executive Assistant Kara Danvers has flown in for me from Belgium. Do you think I would ever deign to drink ‘Swiss Miss’ or that it would be good for anyone’s health for me to be presented with a mug of such muck?
2. Similarly, studies have shown that workplaces which provide on site snacks of high quality and within easy reach have increased performance and efficiency. Employees who are well fed and do not have to wander off in search of snacks from local convenience stores like foolish sheep without a shepherd are more focused on their work, waste less time, which I am paying them for, and are happier.
3. The subsidising of these vending machines snacks also ensures that no employee has any excuse to leave their place of work for a ‘snack break’ like a toddler with a particularly low attention span and no self control. Simultaneously, it also fosters among the peons an idea that they are working for a ‘caring’ company and all for the measly cost of knocking 50cents off the price of their candy bars.
4. The automatic pancake maker and slowcooker were necessary purchases for those on the editorial floor, who unlike the 9 to 5 slackers of HR and Expenses, work unsocial hours and may feel the desire to have more substantial breakfast, lunch or snack options. Just yesterday Executive Assistant Ms Danvers was gnawing on BBQ ribs from the slow cooker while working on proofs at 7pm and having substantial food stuffs at hand has increased moral as an office floor potluck has begun with employees attempting to outdo each other with what they can make and share.
5. The increase in my lunch expenses are a simple byproduct of inflation and my own tastes. I admit that Blue fin tuna, $30 salads and $50 Wagyu Beef Burgers are not the usual lunch items that these expenses were intended for, but considering I am the CEO and am working ridiculous hours to keep all of you employed, I think the least I deserve is a decent lunch. Or do you dare to disagree? Please do, I haven't fired anyone today. Moreover, if you had done your job like the well trained performing bear who may yet replace you, you would have noticed that Kara Danvers was the second name on a great many of my lunch orders. I find it far more convenient to have my Executive assistant to hand while working through lunch and paying for her exorbitant lunches ensures that she does so with little resistance. The additional takeout dinner expenses also come from Ms Danvers being fed while working late alongside me to fix the numerous abysmal layouts my substandard editors seem incapable of doing themselves. Should I starve the poor girl while she works overtime that she is not obligated to do under her contract?

Finally, the exquisite Valentino gown in question was bought for my Executive Assistant Ms Danvers to wear as she accompanied me to the Luthor Children’s Hospital Gala. Ms Danvers was essential to aid me navigate the mundane event and remember the names of the boring masses who sycophants who sought my attention or favour. Ms Danvers was acting in her official capacity as my Executive assistant and was therefore a reflection of myself and of CatCo at the event. To have her turn up in paisley print, periwinkle blue or some other cardigan covered abomination would have seriously damaged CatCo Magazines credentials as a guiding light of fashion in National city.

No further clarification will be needed to approve my expenses now, or in the future, I am sure. No meeting to discuss these matters and waste my valuable time will be needed either. No discussion of these issues and your incompetence will be necessary from this point forth. All of these queries and clarifications could have been solved with a moments original thought and a brief glance at the very magazine you work for to clarify my motivations to increase the hospitality expenses as a means of increasing company productivity and morale. You will continue to direct any expense queries directly to me rather than through my assistant and I am confident these will in future be much fewer and further between. Do your job, or hand in your resignation, I don't care which.

Cat Grant

CEO

CatCo World Wide Media

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Expense Account Spending

Dear Ms. Grant,

My apologies. Thank you for your extremely detailed clarifications and for taking the time to respond in such depth.  All expenses have been approved and all future expenses will be approved using a much more common sense approach which is mindful of your position and motivations.

Sincerely,

Beth Mitchell

Expense Account Management

CatCo Human Resources

To: debra.canfield@googlemail

From: [email protected]

Subject: Queen’s privilege

Debra,

Oh my God! The Queen did it again! Everything you said is true. I thought you were just making up Human Resource drama but you were right! Cat is smitten with Danvers! She overhauled the Catco break room and kitchen on the Editorial floor with vending machines, luxury hot chocolate on demand and even bought pancake makers and a slow cooker. Everyone knows it is all for Danvers huge appetite and unhealthy obsession with junk food and snacking! If someone had asked last year for a slowcooker to be installed to have a daily potluck or for the company to pay for hot chocolate then Cat would have skinned them alive. Employee motivation my ass, more like buttering Danvers up. The route to her heart is definitely through her stomach. Cat even bought her a five grand dress that made Danvers look like a Greek Goddess, not that Danvers had any idea, she is so fashion disabled. The paparazzi photos should have been tagged ‘Thirsty Cat! the way Cat was looking at Danvers.

Uh, this is ridiculous! How much longer will we have to turn a blind eye to all of this ridiculousness? I can’t keep a straight face while I fill in the paperwork with all of Cat’s flimsy excuses.

Your aggravated friend,

Beth

To: [email protected]

From: debra.canfield@googlemail

Subject:  RE: Queen’s privilege

Beth,

First of all: I told you so! You need to stop gossiping about this. Cat will know. Cat knows all. Yes, it is ridiculous, but just keep your head down. Anything from Cat that looks remotely like it has to do with Danvers has to be handled with the caution and care of handling nitro-glycerine. Hopefully, it will calm down soon once they stop with the pining and finally admit they love each other. Useless lesbians! Then again, maybe those late-night dinners they do in her office while they ‘work’ are less work and more play already? Cat has been in a better mood lately 😉. Here’s hoping.

Your vindicated friend,

Debra

The End.

Chapter Text

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Office assignment and structural change request

Dear Ms. Grant,

I thought it best to bring this matter to your attention. Stanley Gioni, Head of Building Maintenance, forwarded me an e-mail request from your Executive Assistant Ms Kara Danvers in which she requests a new window be installed in her office on the 100^th floor.

Mr Gioni was confused by the request as he assumed that Ms Danvers had adequate lighting at her desk on the main floor outside your office and did not in fact have a personal office of her own. Upon checking company records I confirmed that Ms Danvers does not have an assigned office anywhere in the building. I assured Mr Gioni I would look into the matter. He believes the request would have been rejected out of hand because such large scale renovations to the building need your approval as prima facia owner of the physical building and the board’s buy in for financing as the major stock holders of CatCo Magazine and The Tribune who lease space and work from it. Mr Gioni believes that putting in even a one metre square window on the 100th floor would incur major expense running into tens of thousands of dollars for such a minor structural change. The necessary equipment to install a new window on the 100^th floor would make it prohibitively expensive.

Does Ms Danvers have an office and it has not yet been registered with HR?  If so, is it on a lower floor where installing a window might be more feasible? Should I inform Mr Gioni to reject Ms Danvers’ request?

Sincerely,

Debra Canfield

HR Policy Manager

CatCo Human Resources

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Office assignment and structural change request

Dear Debra,

Thank you for bringing this matter to my attention. I apologise that I had not yet gotten around to forwarding you the relevant paperwork assigning Ms Danvers the small office in room 103b on the 100^th floor. Ms Danvers, Mr Olsen and Mr Schott have been working on a number of sensitive matters for me personally and I assigned them a suitable workspace to work in for the duration of these projects and to maintain confidentiality. This office space also offers a quiet place away from the bullpen where Ms Danvers can entertain my son should he have need to join me at work on his way home from school or on the rare day I am unable to make childcare arrangements. Ms Danvers will remain working at her desk as my Executive Assistant, but when completing more labour-intensive tasks or tasks of a sensitive nature, she will use this assigned office space. The necessary paperwork assigning this unused office to her is attached.

As to the matter of Ms Danvers’ request for a window to be installed, I have already submitted approval to Mr. Gioni to seek quotes and estimates to have a two-metre squared window installed. Before you panic, you may rest assured that I am not showing favouritism, nor am I making an unreasonable expense that Elizabeth in Accounts will be after me for. I will be funding the renovations from my own pocket to circumvent the board. It is only right since Kara is using the office at my behest and to complete matters I have assigned her, some of which, like the care of my son Carter when he visits, are not strictly CatCo work related. Moreover, Ms Kara Danvers, as you will note from her religious designation in her personal file is a practising ‘sol cultricem’ and as such must desire the window not for the frivolous need for more light but for the exercise of genuinely held religious beliefs. Here at CatCo World Wide Media we follow all laws, in fact and spirit, to respect the religious freedoms and needs of our employees. It was my own oversight in assigning Ms Danvers an office without access to a window through which she may observe her religious rites and rituals to the sun. As such I will shoulder full responsibility to remedy this issue.

My thanks for bringing this matter to my attention,

Cat Grant

CEO

CatCo World Wide Media

The End.

Chapter Text

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Disciplinary Procedures

Supergirl,

I am emailing to remind you, again, about the appropriate channels to seek disciplinary action against agents that you experience negative contact with, in your capacity as a DEO contractor. While I do admire your dedication to keeping the DEO a workplace free of sexual harassment, homophobia and conduct unbecoming, as a literal embodiment of Truth and Justice, it is imperative that you follow proper protocol and file formal complaints for any such incidents. Failure to do so may see your contractor privileges with the DEO suspended: including revocation of access to DEO sites, resources and your DEO expense account(which accounting notes is keeping half of National City’s fast food outlets in business) being suspended. I must emphasize, again, that taking any agent you catch ogling Deputy Director Danvers for a Super Speed flight back to the DEO after a mission at nausea inducing speeds and without warning or consent is not acceptable. Your excuse that you were merely giving said agents a faster lift back to DEO headquarters post mission is flimsy and beneath you. As is the excuse that everyone dreams of flying with Supergirl. Also, janitorial services is fed up of having to clean up the vomit when your passengers arrive and I am fed up of dealing with their complaints. I know Supergirl, that you are friends with and don’t want to create more work for Head of Maintenance Mr Suarez. Correct?

Secondly, I must emphasize, again, that threatening any agents whom you overhear, with your super hearing, speaking ill of Deputy Director Danvers is not acceptable. There are procedures in place and the chain of command can discipline any agent found to have made homophobic slurs if you merely report them through the proper channels. Threatening to rip off an agent’s arms and beat them to death with them is a creative threat but the fact you could easily do this blurs the line between creative hyperbole and actual threats to life against federal agents. Finally, Deputy Director Danvers is a big girl who can handle the everyday belly aching of subordinates. Such complaining is in fact healthy in a workplace when done in private. Your use of super hearing to hear these comments is an invasion of privacy and is causing disharmony amongst the ranks as they feel unable to criticise or ‘banter’ about their boss with your disturbingly vivid threats hanging over them. If you do overhear any comments that you believe go beyond common workplace grumbling you are free to lodge a formal complaint with HR, but your threats and vigilante policing of those who insult Director Danvers will no longer be tolerated as it is affecting operational readiness.

I trust this will be the end of the matter Supergirl and I won’t have to raise this issue directly with Director Danvers who has, so far, remained blessedly ignorant of your actions?

Sincerely,

Pam Bowers

Director of Human Resources

Department of Extranormal Operations

Chapter Text

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Application for workspace reassignment

Dear Mr. Dearfield,

I was sorry to see that your settling in period has been less than ideal since you joined the junior editorial pool on the 100^th floor. However, following on from your application to have your desk space reassigned, I am sorry to inform you that your request at this time has been denied.

While the Catco employee handbook does guarantee that best efforts will be made to reassign workspace on an as needed basis, this is dependent on staff having a genuine reason for their request. For example:

1. Employees with medical evidence proving gastro-intestinal issues may have their workspace moved to a desk closer to the restrooms.
2. Similarly, employees who have claustrophobia may have their workspace reassigned to the open plan desks in the centre of the floor as opposed to the cubicle desks along the southern floor.

Your request to have your desk reassigned because you feel ‘uncomfortable’ being in close proximity to Executive Assistant Miss Kara Danvers due to her ‘unusual eating habits’ and ‘odd speech’ patterns is not a ‘genuine reason’ which merits reorganizing the work spaces of an entire floor.

Moreover, your tangential insinuation in your last e-mail that you suspected Executive Assistant Miss Kara Danvers is an alien has raised several concerns here in HR. Following on from the Alien Amnesty Act, Catco Worldwide Media follows a strict policy that no employee must declare their species and any speculation upon the matter by employees may contravene HR equality guidelines. Seeking a new desk based on unsubstantiated suspicions of a fellow employee’s species due to their eating habits would be racial profiling and speciest.   

As you merely mentioned these suspicions and did not use them as a basis for your desk reassignment request, I can only assume that the two matters are unrelated. However, to prevent any future misunderstandings I have consulted with my fellow HR representatives and they have agreed it is perhaps best that you attend a refresher session of the company’s tolerance and diversity sensitivity training. A date and time for this training will be e-mailed to you in due course. This training is not optional and refusal to attend may breach the probation performance clauses in your promotion offer, resulting in your demotion back to copy editing on the 39^th floor or even termination.

If you believe that your application for a change of workspace has been mishandled, then you are free to appeal the decision. However, any such appeal must contain new material and evidence which constitutes a genuine reason for the need to change your desk.

Sincerely,

Shauna Castle

HR Personnel and resource management agent

CatCo Human Resources

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: For the immediate attention of  HR Case Manager Samantha Vastra.

RE: Notice of potential disciplinary action or termination.

Afternoon Mrs Vastra,

I have just dealt with a workspace relocation request from Jason Dearfireld who was recently promoted to the 100^th floor as a junior editor. The request was denied but threw up some other potential future issues. I have attached the e-mail chain between myself and Mr Dearfield. While nothing he said in his email was solid enough grounds for immediate actioning, the insinuations were worrying.

As I am sure you will agree, Mr Dearfield is walking on thin ice and presents a clear and present danger to the peace and harmony of the 100^th floor. Should the tolerance and diversity training fail to nip the issue in the bud I thought you may want a heads up to have demotion or termination papers ready for Mr. Dearfield. Most likely termination papers if Ms. Grant catches wind of this debacle.

I hope this forewarning can help you to keep an eye on the matter and ameliorate any fallout.

Sincerely,

Shauna Castle

HR Personnel and Resource Management Agent

CatCo Human Resources

Chapter Text

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Vacation request form

Dear Mrs. Isles,

Please find below my requested vacation leave.

Vacation beginning: 17^th June 2020

Vacation Ending: 25^th June 2020

Reason for leave: Annual vacation. I will be visiting family.

Years of employment: 5 years

Number of Vacation days taken to date: 0

Number of vacation days owed: 19 days

Vacation approved by line manager: Yes

Line Managers signature: James Olsen

I trust this is all in order and will be approved in due course.

Sincerely,

Simon Hanssel

Junior Art Director

CatCo Magazine

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: RE: Vacation request form.

RE: Notice of potential disciplinary action or termination.

Dear Mr Hanssel,

I was pleased to receive your application for vacation leave. After five years it is long overdue. However, while ordinarily I would be rubber stamping this request and waving you out the door, I find that I have something of a problem Mr Hanssel.

You are now the twenty-third employee of the 100^th floor to request vacation time from the 17^th to the 25^th of June in the last hour. Such large numbers cannot be immediately accommodated without leaving Catco World Wide Media short staffed and placing publication of the Tribune and Catco magazine in jeopardy. I have checked all local papers and cannot find a concert, natural disaster or other reason for this sudden surge in demand for leave on these specific dates. Requests for vacation will be approved in due course in accordance with criteria which will assess seniority, vacation time owed and number of years employed.

If you could enlighten me as to why there is such a rush for these date off Mr. Hanssel I would be much obliged.

Sincerely,

Bridget Isles.

HR Resource Management Agent

CatCo Human Resources

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Vacation request form

Dear Mrs. Isles,

I understand the difficult situation you find yourself in and can only assume that further requests for vacation on the dates I proposed will likely be winging their way to you shortly. It came to my attention today that Senior Executive Assistant Miss Kara Danvers will be taking her own vacation from the 17^th to the 25^th of June. This is Miss Danvers first vacation and leave of absence of more than 24 hours since she took up her post as Miss Grant’s Executive Assistant two years ago.

As you can imagine, a number of us on the 100^th floor remember the interesting work environment we existed in before Miss Danvers joined the staff and we have no desire to be on the same floor as Ms Grant for a week without Miss Danvers to ensure a less volatile work environment.

To be blunt, many of us can see the coming storm and the rats want to abandon ship for the week.

As a junior art director who has served five years, has taken no vacation to date and knows for a fact that Mr Olsen will be in the office that week, I expect my vacation request will be easily approved.

As for weeding out which of the dozens of runners, editors, IT engineers, journalists and junior department managers should get vacation time for the coming apocalypse will be a much harder decision.

 I salute you and wish you the best.

Sincerely,

Simon Hanssel

Junior Art Director

CatCo Magazine

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: RE: Vacation request form.

RE: Notice of potential disciplinary action or termination.

Dear Mr Hanssel,

Firstly, your vacation is approved. The paperwork is attached.

Secondly, thank you for informing me of why I have been dealing with such an influx of vacation requests. An influx which has seen almost 75% of the 100^th floor staff now request vacation time from the 17^th to the 25^th of June. Many people are about to be disappointed and all HR leave has been cancelled for that week in preparation to deal with the fallout of having Miss Grant operating without Miss Danvers for such an extended period of time.

I have alerted the temp agencies to be on standby to replace any employees who are impulsively terminated by Miss Grant, to fill gaps in the staff due to the likely surge in staff calling in sick that week and I have prepared multiple suspension, mental health leave and termination packets.

Winter is coming Mr. Hanssel, enjoy your vacation.

Sincerely,

Bridget Isles.

HR Resource Management Agent

CatCo Human Resources