Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Chapter One

I stared at the boxes in the middle of the living room as they taunted me with their very presence. They were a symbol of my failure, of my short fallings and a stamp of my inadequacy. I had been putting off packing up all of Jasper’s clothes and his odds and ends he had left behind for months now. That morning I had put on my best dress, in a tepid attempt to make myself feel better, walked out to the mailbox and looked through that day’s letters. When I saw the letter addressed to “Ms. Harper Wilson” I knew it was over, it was official. The truth that I had been pretending to be an awful nightmare that would simply dissipate and leave behind a happy ending had just slapped me in the face like a brick.

I was no longer a Missus, I was a Miss. Somehow, along the line, I had ruined my marriage. Somewhere during the two years of what I thought to be wedded bliss I had done something awful enough to drive him to cheating on me. Twice. The first time I caught him it was with some co-worker of his, the second time I had no clue who she was. In a blind rage I packed up a suitcase of my clothing and left for a week, I went and stayed at my best friend Willa’s house and just broke down. I slept almost constantly and during the few hours every day I was awake I binge watched America’s Next Top Model and ate three times my weight in watermelon Jell-O. I stared at the models, they had perfect flowing hair and long limbs, they had curves in all the right places and were well aware of it. I would stare down at my prosthetic leg; sure that the limb was the cause of his cheating. From the middle of my calf down on my right leg was a grey prosthetic that wrapped around the remainder of my calf and extended down into a metal ankle and hard plastic foot. I was half a woman and I guess Jasper deserved someone who was whole.

I stood in my living room with a thick cloud of gloom over my head, my cheeks tear stained from the arrival of the letter confirming I was now divorced and my hands shaking with outrage. I had to mail the boxes to my ex-husband Jasper; well that was the agreement anyway. He was currently living with his girlfriend Marcy in California. He had intended to take most of the possessions and the house in the divorce, but the court veered in my favor since I was not in the wrong in their point of view; he had been the one who had been unfaithful. But I was still convinced I was the problem, that I had not been enough for him, and that I was what led him to go to other women. I got to keep my house, my pet Fox Chiana and most of my possessions. He ended up with the brand new Chevy Malibu we had invested in and half of the furniture. He lost the favor of the court, I had lost my dignity. But even with the regret and remorse I was becoming sick of it all. Of the lies, the cheating and the constant blame I placed on myself.

I frowned deeply, wiped my cheeks hard with the back of my palm, picked up the first box and made my way outside. I piled them all into the backseat of my used, emerald green convertible and drove to Willa’s house. She lived only fifteen minutes away, a short drive through the quite, residential roads of Washington D.C. We had been best friends since we were little, Willa and her big sister had adopted me as one of their own like two mother birds protecting a lost little chick. I was quiet and shy as a child, which only became progressively worse when I lost my leg in an accident and felt like pure isolation was my destiny in life. But Willa and her sister Josie would grab my hands and drag me out of my house, even if it was just to the backyard where we would sit and drink iced tea; it was an improvement to sitting in my room all day in a pit of self-pity and grief. She had helped me at my lowest, and repeated it again and again throughout our relationship. She was three years older than me at 30 but could act like she was just seven and looked like she was twenty one which I was a little jealous of. But her happy-go-lucky personality was exactly what I needed.

“Hi Sweetheart!” Willa greeted gleefully with a smile and hugged me tightly after answering her front door, my car was idling in the driveway and my hands shook at the mere thought of breaking the terms and agreement to the divorce. It was rare I broke rules, definitely a goody-goody compared to most.

“I have an idea and I hope you’re crazy enough to help me to go through with it.” I stuttered as she let me inside her cozy little one story townhouse. Willa grinned at me and nodded her head for me to continue. “I have to mail all of Jasper’s boxes to him. But, but um I really don’t want to.” I whispered the last part. Willa bounced on the balls of her heels and a coy smile spread across her rosy red lips.

“What do you have planned my little law breaker?!”

“I think we should donate all of his stupid crap to the Goodwill.”

“Good plan… But what about burning it as a sign of feminine independence?!” She asked and hopped forward, grabbed my hands and spun around the entryway. I grinned at her and her devilish idea but shook my head.

“I am not about to burn five hundred dollars’ worth of designer ties and boat shoes; hence, revenge is best served to the less fortunate.” Willa rolled her eyes.

“I thought I was supposed to be the Good Samaritan working at the homeless shelter every week not you, Harper!” I smirked. “Well I guess I better put away my delicious little pyromaniac plans for a later date when you become more adventurous! Now, I was just about to get going for my shift at the homeless shelter, do you want to join me and hand out some of those ostentatious ties?” I nodded

“That is exactly why I came to you, one for reassurance for my evil plans and two since you have access to those who could use his stuff.” She grinned at me and flipped her long hair over her shoulder gracefully.

“Exactly, that’s what I’m here for! Evil plan making and acts of kindness!” She giggled and ran past me, gliding across the hard wood floors in her socks until she found her tennis shoes behind the couch. “I really don’t know how my stuff gets lost constantly! Ugg!” She complained as she fished the shoes out from between the back of the couch and the wall. I grinned at her and left the house to go and wait in the car while she went on a scavenger hunt for her purse and jacket.

Willa brought me up to date on her sister Josie’s life, she had gotten married this last summer and had moved to Tennessee with her new husband Rick; Willa had felt pretty abandoned. Then just a week after Josie’s wedding my husband went to California and sent me divorce papers to sign. Willa went from lonely to having to care for a half dead, depressed soul who lived on her couch for a month. But now that I was getting a small amount of revenge and slowly healing from the awful year I had to go through it was nice to hear everything was going well for the new couple. They had bought a cat and named him Lemmon, and had a goldfish named Zorro. I grinned the whole ride, reality had slipped away from me again and I was definitely not thinking through what I was about to do.

I parked in the almost empty lot of “Central Union Mission” and hopped out; I walked around to the backseat and started to hand the boxes to Willa. She carried as much as she could to the back entrance and then knocked on the door; one of the attendants rushed out and helped us bring all six of them inside. I shuffled along behind them, my leg made it a little difficult for me to go very fast, I had the thing for over ten years but some mental block always made me limp when I walked.

“You’re a life saver Harper!” Stacy the manager of the shelter said as she opened up the boxes to see starched work shirts, ties, shoes and other clothes that Jasper left behind. “A lot of the men here lost their good interview clothes and can’t afford nice suits; this is going to be perfect. We have to let a couple people go today since we’re over crowded from the attack, so maybe this can help them find jobs.” I nodded grimly; just a couple weeks back some insane terrorist organization called SHIELD had tried to attack the city, destroyed a lot of buildings and then crashed three hovercrafts down on the city. There had been a huge influx of suddenly homeless people, and those who had been crashing at the shelter for a little while now without families would have to leave so there would be more room for women and children. It was sad but necessary.

“That’s awful.” I said sorrowfully and leant against the doorway, my right leg tucked behind my left. Even though my long bohemian style maxi dress covered my legs I still felt self-conscious. “How many people do you have to let go?” I asked as Willa picked up a couple boxes and transferred them into the next room so they could be sorted through and handed out later that day.

“Six. Three of them I know are drug addicts avoiding rehab so maybe this might be the little push they need to get clean, two others volunteered to leave-said they could find another place. The last one I worry about a little though.”

“Oh, why is that?”

“Well he has been here for four weeks, must have lost his home during the attack, and he isn’t handling it well. He eats alone, doesn’t talk to anyone, leaves during the day but doesn’t try to find work and then just comes back here at night. Now that’s pretty normal for most of the men we get here, but there is just something off about him, he seems so lost and sad.” Stacy frowned and stood up slowly, keeping her eyes locked on the ground as she told me this. She was always very confidential with the private lives of those she helped so I could tell she was seriously worried about this man.

“Is there anything I could do?” I asked and Willa re-entered the room and dusted her hand off on her red cut off shorts. Stacy shook her head.

“I really don’t know what to do; the most I’ve gotten out of him are simple things like “thanks” or “Yeah”. Unless you know someone who could let him crash on their couch for a couple nights until he found a more permanent place then I don’t think there is anything you can do Harper. But that is very sweet of you to offer.” She smiled at me, Stacy was in her late forties and her black hair was just beginning to turn grey near her temples. She was African American and had not had a good life when she was younger; since she got on her feet she made it her life to help other people. She was the definition of kind, loving and generous in my book.

“I could do it.” I shrugged my shoulders, the adrenaline of lashing back at my ex and feeling somewhat independent again made me somewhat rash and quick to make decisions. Stacy’s eyes flew open with shock as did Willa’s. I had let a couple women stay with me for a night or two before from the shelter and once a woman and her two daughters for a week but I hadn’t done anything like that since I had gotten married. Jasper thought that homeless people were dirty and could give us some sort of awful array of dieses, so no more dinners and time with some of kindest people in the world for me.

“Hun, I’m not sure that is the best idea, I mean he seems like an ok guy, but I’m not sure….”

“Look it will just be for a night or two right? I mean I’ve let people stay at my house before, and he hasn’t done anything but sleep here at night, right? Well he would just be doing that in the spare bedroom at my place that’s all.” Stacy bit her lip, not quite sure of what to make of the situation.

“Wait what is going on now?!” Willa asked with startled eyes with her neck tilted down in a classic ‘you are about to make a horrible mistake I can feel it in my bones’ Willa look. I smiled at her.

“Being more adventurous. Something a pyromaniac once advised me to do.” Stacy wasn’t even phased by our conversation, she was used to the back and forth sass that was constantly spewing from Willa’s and I’s pie holes when we were around one another.

“You will let a stranger into your house but won’t burn your ex’s clothes? Bor-ing!” She teased and did a sassy little finger snap with each syllable of ‘boring’.  I giggled at her but her semi-concerned face told me that she was definitely worried about my take on ‘feminine independence’.

“Well I’ll go talk to him and see what he has to say, there is no use arguing over this with you, I know you’ll just give me those darn puppy dog eyes and I’ll melt.” Stacy mumbled and I was a little shocked, unaware that I even had a puppy dog expression. I looked over to Willa with my perplexed look as Stacy left out the door to our left to the rooms where the men stayed, she understood my confusion.

“You do, you look like a little sweet puppy like Aidan Turner when you’re disappointed!” She said in a baby voice and hopped forward to pinch my cheeks for added effect. I rolled my eyes and straightened up, my metal ankle clicked as I resituated.

We waited in the room for just a couple minutes before Stacy reappeared with a tall man, almost six foot I guessed, with shoulder length brown hair and stubble across his chin and upper lip. His eyes were glued down on the ground as he entered, a small duffle bag thrown over his shoulder and his hands pushed into the large front pocket of his sweatshirt. Stacy stood next to him smiling at me.

“I’d like you to meet Harper; she offered a place for you to stay for a little bit.” Stacy said with a warm smile towards the man, I couldn’t’ see his face very clearly for his hair hung down like a blackout curtain. His head slowly swiveled up towards me, taking in every detail of my appearance and I was surprised. He was handsome has heck!  I smiled at him, straightening and arching my back as I did so, and gave a little wave.

“Hello, I’m harper.”

“I’m James.”

Chapter Text

Chapter Two

“It’s lovely to meet you James.” I said with a smile and bit my lip awkwardly; I had not expected him to be so young or handsome. Truly I don’t what I was expecting, but a tall handsome man with chocolate brown hair and a seemingly permanent frown was the farthest from any unformulated idea that I had in mind. “Do you have everything you need?” I asked and glanced at his weathered army regulation duffle bag hanging off his shoulder. He nodded and said nothing.

“Ok, so Harper I have to work for the afternoon but do you like want me to stop by after my shift this evening?” Willa asked and glanced from James to me and back to James, I’m sure her overactive imagination was getting the best of her and she could already see me getting stabbed to death by Mr. Serious.

“Sure, I’ll make us all smoothies if you bring bananas.”

“But I brought them last time!” She complained and threw her shoulders forward in an upset slouch; I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms.

“Then you will go smoothie-less, drama queen!”

“Uggg fine!” She groaned halfheartedly, too worried to play our normal game of disappointment and sass to the full extent. With a final glance at us Willa and Stacy left the room to go and help with the day’s chores and jobs and helping the new families settle in.

“Ok well, I’ll bring you home and get the spare room set up!” I smiled brightly at James, his eyes stared at me with animal like awareness of every little detail yet, they were void of emotion. It felt like he was living and breathing, but his soul and life had been sucked out of him leaving only a husk behind.

“Ok.” He said in a raspy voice and I lead the way out to the parking lot, trying to limp as little as possible. I slid in the driver’s seat and he got into the passenger’s side, quite as a mouse. I myself was starting to feel uncomfortable and regretful to have agreed upon this, his constant quietness and stiffness was unnerving. It felt as if he was waiting for impending doom to hit and everything to go haywire, I am a rather calm person so being around someone so jumpy and cautious was strange to say the least. I started the car and the engine roared to life as did the radio. As I reached over to turn off the sound system blaring pop music, something glittering on James’ hand caught my attention. I looked closer out of the corner of my eye as I clicked off the radio. The glittering was not a watch like I had originally perceived but it was his hand! Pieces of metal interlocking together in a tightknit pattern to make a replica of what had once been a fully functioning limb lay on his knee limply as he stared out the windshield. The metal slowly got smaller down his fingers, with little joints for his knuckles, until they came down to his fingertips where they were rounded off perfectly. I was absolutely dumbfounded at the masterpiece.

“Wow, that’s amazing work! Where did you get your prosthetic?” I asked in awe and looked up at him, his eyes widened in surprise and almost fear and he tucked his hand back into his sweatshirt pocket as if he was disgusted I had noticed it.

“I don’t know.” James replied stiffly and leant closer to the door away from me. I felt embarrassed for making him uncomfortable and sat back in my seat, my cheeks red hot and avoided eye contact. I pulled out of the parking lot smoothly and onto the main highway where cars and trucks zipped by us, the silence in the car was nerve racking. I hadn’t been so embarrassed from something I had said since Jasper and I were still a couple.

“I didn’t mean to be nosey.” I stated as we neared an intersection, we pulled up to the red light and I stopped the car; I reached down to my long skirt and pulled it up to show him my right leg, the metal ankle glinted in the faint light reaching down under the steering wheel. “I have done a lot of research on prosthetics and I’ve simply never seen one so realistic before, I was just intrigued. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable James.” I let the skirt drop; his eyes starred at my leg for a moment and then went back to his detached gazing out the windshield.

“Ok.” Was all I received in return. I gave up on simply chatting and we just drove back to my house in silence. When I pulled up in the driveway and parked the car under the airy carport Chiana popped into my mind.

“Oh no.” I whispered and James snapped to look at me “You don’t have any allergies do you?” He looked relived and I make a pained face, hoping to everything holy he wouldn’t have a reaction to my Fox.

“No.”

“Oh thank goodness, I completely forgot about Chiana!” I laughed and turned the car off, threw the keys into the empty cigarette tray and climbed out of the car.

“Chiana?” He asked with bewilderment and I nodded, walked around the car to the backdoor just a couple yards from the carport and opened it. Chiana came bounding out of the house yapping and barking and just having a huge fit of energy. I bent down on my knees, scratching the scruff of her neck and jabbering away with her. She squealed with excitement that I was back home and and wriggled in my arms like a puppy.

“I am so sorry I was gone baby! Did you miss me?! Yes? Yes!” I gurgled to her and she nipped at my fingers playfully. Chiana was a little over two years old and the size of a medium dog and the weight of a large cat, she had bright red fur and a white underbelly with the tips of her ears and feet black. I scooped the squirming little fur ball under my arm and smiled at James.

“James this is Chiana, Chiana this is James!” I told the two, she stared at James with excited and interested eyes; James stared back with wary confusion. “She only bites if you tease her, so um don’t do that.” I said with a crooked smiled and opened the door wider and headed inside with James tailing after me. My house was two bedrooms, one and a half bath and had a magnificent backyard for my darling fox. Jasper and I had bought it when we got engaged and had lived there for the entirety of our marriage, though he had wanted to move to California desperately, guess he got what he wanted in the end. But I was in absolute euphoric love with the place, it was a dream come true. A winding stepping stone path lead up from the side walk in the middle of the yard, the driveway not too far to the left, and straight to the front door painted an earthy red. The grass was thick, lush and green and here and there I had scattered lawn ornaments like little bronze frogs or my beautiful maple leaf bird bath, keeping in tie with my natural, homey decorating plan. The backyard had a high wooden fence all the way around it, the car port pushed right up against the side, so that Chiana couldn’t escape and could roam freely when she was being supervised. The front of the house was tan stucco with a red clay tiled roof, all around there were rose bushes up to my waist that bloomed the most gorgeous red and yellow roses in the summer and smelled divine.

The inside of my house had the same color scheme as outside, reds, browns and tans created a nest like cozy-ness to my space. Thick gold carpet was laid down in every room but the bathrooms and the kitchen, and the trim was a chocolate brown. The walls in my bedroom were the same dark red as my tile roof, the bathrooms were a bright cheery yellow and the other rooms were a warm honey color in-between yellow and brown.

We entered in through the back of the house, the little entryway led straight past the cramped laundry room and into the spacious kitchen. The floor was hardwood oak stained a couple shades darker than its natural color and the cabinets were maple stained a juicy cherry hue. Cabinets were built under the counter and were shaped in an “L” to fit the square room and had two spaces; one for my dishwasher and one for my stove. At the end of the counter and cabinets sat my refrigerator, pictures of me and my friends and Chiana as a pup were stuck to the magnetic shell with little decorative magnets I had collected over the years. In the very center of the fridge in a magnetic frame was a picture of me when I was eight with my older sister, brother and my mother all cramped together in front of the fire place. On the other side of the room sat the kitchen table with four wooden stools upholstered with red fabric tucked neatly underneath.

“Do you need anything to eat?” I asked and he shook his head as his eyes roamed around the room and through the open archway into the living room overlooking the backyard.

“I’m fine.” He said gruffly and I set Chiana down on the floor, her nails clicked softly on the wood as she timidly went over to James and sniffed at his pant leg, inspecting our new guest with timid curiosity.

“Alright. Willa, my friend, is going to be coming over in a couple hours and I’m sure she will stay for supper so I guess we should set up the spare room!” I smiled and clapped my hands on the sides of my thighs in an awkward fashion and then continued to move out of the kitchen, through the living room and down into the short hall where the guest bath and bedroom was located. I pulled open the door on the right and lead him into the guest bedroom. The bed was neatly made, the bedspread was maple in color with charcoal trim, and the sheets were the same color as the trim and were tucked away out of view. I went into the room and opened up the closet, showing James that there was plenty of room to hang up any clothes he had and made sure to point out the shoe rack if he wanted to use it.

“Next is the bathroom.” I said and walked straight across the hall and threw the door open to reveal the half bath with a toilet, small shower and sink all cramped into a teeny tiny space. “I know it’s small but I think it’s sufficient.” I smiled at him; I got another aloof head nod.

“Well” I paused “I guess I’ll leave you to unpack! I’ll be in the kitchen or the dining room if you need anything alright?”

“Thank you.” I smiled a genuine, large smile at his thank and sauntered away. I headed into the kitchen to start on supper for the three of us; Willa was definitely going to join us, when I realized Chiana wasn’t following me. I spun in a little circle in the kitchen holding a tomato in one hand and frying pan in the other and saw no fox. I crept to the archway of the kitchen and spotted her across the rooms, sitting in the hallway starring into James’s room. I smirked and rolled my eyes at the curious pup and went back to cooking.

I had homemade pasta sauce simmering on the stove when my landline started to sing the song of its people. I turned the sauce and noodle on low and ran, which was more like fast limping, out into the living room and grabbed the cordless out of the its cradle.

“Yello?” I asked and held the phone up to my ear and went back into the kitchen.

“Harper, hi this is Wendy!”

“Oh hi Wendy!” I said with a distressed expression. Wendy was my boss at the salon I worked at and drove me completely bonkers. Not only was she the biggest gossiper in the whole DC area but she loved to worm her way into my life and mess up my work schedule.

“It’s so good to hear from you!” I winced at the idea she missed me and turned my food back up. “So I have a problem.” Don’t you always Wendy? Don’t you always? “You see Jennifer canceled Monday through Wednesday because she pulled a muscle in her shoulder and can’t work and I need someone to fill in, and you’re the best masseuse we have! So I thought I’d give you a ring-a-ding-ding and see if you could fill in!” She laughed heartily and sucked on her teeth while waiting for my response.

“Well, Wendy, you know I work every weekend and then three days during the week and that’s the max I can take. If I push myself too much I could end up like Jennifer and injure myself.”

“Oh it’s that blasted leg of yours isn’t it?! You really got to go to a physical therapist and have that looked at Harper sweetie!” I refrained from sighing out loud and squeezed my eyes shut, my finger pinching the bridge of my nose.

“Wendy, my leg does not affect my work, I can only work so many hours as a masseuse or I will get injured. If anyone does a repetitive motion for too long we can get seriously hurt!” I said as calmly as I could as annoyance built up under my skin from her utter ignorance and lack of tact. I could hear her teeth sucking becoming more intense as she mulled this information over that I had told her time and time again.

“Well, could you at least change your schedule?” I couldn’t refrain this time, I sighed out loud.

“What shifts do you need me to change?”  I asked irksomely and cradled the phone in-between my neck and my shoulder as I stirred the bubbling tomato sauce and tapped my finger on the wooden spoon.

“Well I thought I could switch your Thursday to a Monday-“I felt a sudden presence in the room, and a dark shadow flickered past my peripheral vision. I turned to look but nothing was in the archway, a soft click behind me made me whirl around. A menacing figure stood behind me, I screamed and dropped the phone onto the hard floor.

“Harper?! Harper?!”

Chapter Text

Chapter Three

James stood staring at me with a distressed frown, confused to why I had just lost my marbles and flipped out. One hand gripped the edge of the counter tightly and my other was clamped over my heart as it beat like a panicking humming bird within my ribcage.

“Oh my word you scared the life out of me!” I stuttered as Wendy continued to shout my name over the receiver, her voice growing squeakier with concern.

“Sorry. I wanted to know if I could use the shower.” He said with his hands at his side and his head tilted forward slightly so his hair dropped around the sides of his face, a barrier between him and the rest of the world.

“Oh yeah sure, go right ahead, there are towels under the sink and soap in the medicine cabinet.” I said and bent down to grab the phone, holding my thumb over the microphone so Wendy couldn’t eavesdrop. He walked away just as quietly as he had come into the kitchen and I watched him disappear into the little side bathroom.

“HARPER?!” The phone crackled with static and I muttered to myself.

“Sorry Wendy, my guest scared me.” I said with a sigh and stirred the pasta sauce and grabbed the pot of boiling pasta off the stove, limped over to the sink and dumped the noodles into the colander.

“My word darling you scared the tarnation out of me I didn’t know what happened! I thought that maybe your leg gave out or maybe someone was murdering you my gracious!” Wendy blabbered with a shaking voice and I felt both aggravated by her constant mentioning of my leg and slightly surprised she had a soul that could worry about people.

“Well it’s alright now, so what days do you need me to switch?”

The conversation with Wendy went as usual, she convinced me to work days I didn’t want to and ruined some plans I had for that week with rearranging my hours. But in the end I still only had to work five days a week so it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. I was setting the table and humming Disney songs to myself with the background sound of James taking a shower. The entire time he was in the bathroom Chiana sat outside the door just starring and waiting for him to return. As little attention he paid to her I was surprised she was even interested in him at all! I set three spots at the table in the dining room, used my favorite plates with little maple leaves ringed around the outside edge, and snuck out the front garden and grabbed a couple fully bloomed roses for the centerpiece.

“Knock Knock!” Willa called from the front door and rapped her fingers on the wood, peeping her head inside before I could get the door open.

“Heya girly, remember the bananas?” She popped through the entrance way and held out a green tote bag that our local health food store packed groceries in. I grinned at her and took the tote bag, headed back to the kitchen and pulled out the treats she had bought. Not only had she gotten bananas but she had picked me up some watermelon and strawberries as well. I put the strawberries and the watermelon in the crisper and set the bananas out on the counter next to the Kitchen-Aid mixer and my blender.

“I’m glad to see you haven’t been stabbed to death.” Willa muttered from the archway “Where is tall dark and creepy anyway?”

“Oh be nice you meanie!” I frowned at her and got a teenage like eye roll in return “He is in the shower.” Just as I finished my sentence the bathroom door opened and James stood in the doorway with a towel wrapped around his waist with another one thrown over his prosthetic and stared at Chiana.

“You must move.” He told her softly, she wagged her fluffy tail and grinned at him, her pink tongue lopped out of her mouth. My eyes roved over his chest, as did Willa’s, I could tell he was in good shape just from how he held himself but just as I was surprised by his handsomeness I was not expecting him to completely ripped. I heard Willa let out a little squeak when he reached down and picked Chiana up carefully under his arm, and then set her down a foot to the left so he could get past, his muscles flexing as he did so. And personally I couldn’t blame her.

“Oh quit that you lonely girl.” I teased her and sucker punched her arm and scrambled back to my foods. She came back with one hand in a fist and I pretended to be afraid.

“Nien! You can’t hurt me I have food to feed you!” I said trying not to laugh, the corners of my mouth quivering as I fought back a smile. Willa stopped and stroked an imaginary beard.

“Good point; I will let you live another day young child.”

“Oh thank goodness!” I said breathily and picked up a large wooden bowl filled with the bowtie pasta and handed it to Willa, then I grabbed the pasta sauce and we went and finished setting the table. Just as we finished setting the table and everything was sitting in piping hot bowls James came out of his room with a new shirt and the same pair of jeans on, his hair slightly damp and tucked behind his ears. Willa smiled and greeted him with a little wave before taking her place next to me at the table.

“Here you go, this is your spot.” I said to James and pulled his chair out across from me at the table and went around to my own spot. He sat down stiffly, his back bent and his head ducked down like he was waiting for something-it made me nervous just like his constant quietness did.

“So, do you like prefer being called James or Jim or something else?” Willa asked as she speared a forkful of sauce slathered noodles on her fork and I poured myself a class of water. James shifted uncomfortably as he picked up a fork and scooped up some noodles.

“Um, Bucky.”

“Bucky? How do you get that out of James?” Willa asked with a crooked smile as she stared across the table at James with humorous intrigue.

“You don’t. You get it out of Buchanan.” Willa’s lips twitched as her brain whirred to find out if he was teasing her not about his name.

“Ok then.” She said and went back to eating, James-or Bucky, I wasn’t sure what to call him at that point, was relieved not having to answer any more questions and kept his head down and continued to eat.

“Wendy called.” I muttered feeling uncomfortable in the silence that hung in the air like choking smog, Willa turning slightly in her chair to face me.

“Ugg, what does she want now?!”

“Well to put it simply either I’m dropping out of going Shopping with you and Evangeline this Tuesday or you two will just go by yourselves.” Willa groaned and rolled her eyes and stabbed up some more pasta. James glanced up at us from under his long hair as he ate quietly and listened to our conversation, he seemed far more comfortable listening instead of being an active talker.

“I’ll call Evie tonight and fix up a new date Harper; it always seems weird when you’re not with us.” I nodded and took a long sip of my water.

“So Bucky, what do you have planned for this week?!” Willa asked and looked over at James, still trying to figure out if she could leave me alone with the quiet man. He shrugged his shoulders, not exactly the answer she had been searching for. “Looking for a job?” She asked and he sunk into his chair, I could feel his discomfort just rolling off in waves as he shrugged.

“Willa shush!” I whispered and nudged her under the table with my foot, she glared at me.

“I am just trying to have a conversation.” I widened my eyes slightly at her, feeling awful for embarrassing James and tried to use telepathy to make her hush up. Even though I couldn’t yell at her with my mind she got the message and we spent the rest of the short meal talking about when we would reschedule the shopping trip with our friend Evangeline. As soon as he cleared his plate and all of his water was gone James immediately went back to his room and Chiana went back to playing the waiting game outside of his door. The entire meal she had been under the table, her tail on my feet and her head right next to James’s chair. He would glance down at her from time to time, as would I; it was strange for her to be so absolutely intrigued by a new person.

Willa loaded the dishwasher as I made us smoothies, then with sweating glasses of banana strawberry smoothies we retired to the back patio and watched the sunset. Well, we couldn’t exactly see the full magnificence of the setting sun and enjoy the wide range of colors that would burn and flourish on the canvas like sky since a lot of building and trees blocked out the view. But we did sit and enjoy the cool evening breeze and watch as the sky grew darker and darker like it was being slowly dipped in different hues of blue.

“Do you want me to sleep over tonight?” Willa asked nonchalantly as she sipped her drink. Chiana bounded around the backyard over her plastic children plays sets that I set up for her to run around and sniffed at every flower.

“What are you getting at?” I asked knowing she had a hidden agenda.

“I’m just worried about you! You’re making all these decisions without thinking them through Harper! I mean I understand the revenge against Jasper and all, I mean I would have done a lot worse if I was in your shoes, but I’m not sure about Bucky. He is so quiet, he worries me.” She frowned and turned away from me; her blonde hair was thrown over her shoulder and shone softly in the fading sunlight.

“Oh you are just being paranoid Willa!” I complained and she grunted with aggravation. “Seriously I have a Taser in my room, I’ll be fine! And Chiana seems interested in him, so I’m sure he is perfectly fine.”

“You have a Taser? Who gave you a Taser? You should not be allowed to have weapons.”

“Oh come on! I used to take archery when I was younger! I’m fine with weapons; you’re the one who cut herself with a butter knife when making toast.”

“THAT WAS ONCE! ONE TIME HARPER!”

“You still did it though! I mean seriously how can someone hurt themselves on a butter knife?!” I laughed.

“IT WAS A SHARP KNIFE I’M TELLING YOU.” She shouted and shoved out her lower lip in a big pout. Chiana’s head popped out from a window in one of the little play houses making me laugh even harder.

“Even if you lived in a padded bubble you’d still hurt yourself.”

“That is not true! I’m not that accident prone!” She argued and flung her head back to accentuate her complaint and smacked the back of her head on her whicker deck hair. My eyes flew open and my jaw dropped as I waited to see if she would freak out or not, Willa’s hands flew to the back of her head and she grimaced with a quiet groan. I couldn’t hold it in any longer; I burst out laughing and doubled over in my chair, my whole bodying shaking as she planned my painful death.

“You are so mean for laughing at me!” She yipped and I wiped tears out of the corners of my eyes, gasping for breath like a fish on land as I tried to compose myself. Once I was breathing evenly again and biting my lips so as not to smile I took one more look at her and her downturned mouth and burst out laughing again.

“Ok I don’t care if you get murdered anymore.” She said as I tried once again to calm down.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” I gasped and patted her hand softly as she grumbled to herself more.

“Well if you don’t want me to stay over I should head home and take a shower.” She said and with a deep sigh, like she was letting all of her worried go in one huge exhale. I picked her hand up in mine and gave her palm a reassuring squeeze.

“You can relax Willa, I’ll be fine! And anyways you have a lot of work to do so you need to be rested for that! I love you, you silly little blonde weirdo.” I said and go to my feet, hugging her tightly.

“I love you too strange little strawberry!” She giggled and swayed back and forth as she hugged me. “Now I need to go home and feed my turtles before they die! Thanks for supper!” She said and let go, smiling at me as she picked her bag off of the brick patio and left to her car via the back gate. I smiled to myself and turned to Chiana who ran about the backyard chasing a butterfly.

“Come on little goober let’s get some supper into you!” I called and whistled for her, Chiana’s ears perked up and she bounded over to me knowing that she was going to get food. I made her supper and she sat on the kitchen floor with her head resting on her paws, her body stretched out all long with her tail sweeping back and forth over the floor.

After Chiana was fed and content I went into my bedroom and took off my prosthetic, using the walls as support as I hopped into the master bathroom for a much needed calming bath. The bath/shower had a plastic chair made for older people who had troubles in the shower or amputees like me. It had thick plastic and worked perfectly for taking a shower when I was too tired to stand on one leg and hold onto the safety bar drilled into the wall.

After my shower I crawled into bed with Chiana, she was fast asleep and breathed steadily. I sighed deeply and ran my hand softly across her thick fur; she made a little sound of happiness and curled into a little ball. I stared off into the void of nothingness while and tried to get sleepy.

Chapter Text

Chapter Four

I tossed, I turned, I practically did a full work out in bed trying to get comfortable. After two hours of lying in bed with my mind churning and burning from the insanity that was my day I got up and hopped out of my room leaving Chiana sleeping on my pillow. I kept a hand against the wall as I hopped through the dark house into the kitchen. I was in a pink tank top and blue stripped sleeping shorts and it was a rather chilly evening for a Washington summer, goose bumps rose up on my skin and made me shiver. I made it to the kitchen safely and poured myself a glass of orange juice. I sighed and drank the juice while leaning against the cool counter, starring at the floor like it had the meaning of life etched into it somewhere and all I had to do was stare long enough to find it.

A soft creak caught my attention, my heart beat like a hummingbird’s wings as I held tightly to the counter as I crept to the doorway of the kitchen and looked into the living room. Illuminated by the soft glow of the moon was the silhouette of James, standing in front of the sliding glass door in the living room. His head was tilted up, his muscular arms crossed, and a light frown etched on his face as he stared up at the faint glitter of stars in the sky. He scanned the horizon and even ducked his head forward to peer into the trees just outside of the fence.

“Can’t sleep?” I asked quietly, my voice quiet and hoarse as I hopped towards him slowly. He jumped, unaware that I had awoken and stared at me with frightened eyes. His eyes were almost animalistic, flickering around the room taking in his surroundings, processing them like his life depended on it. After what seemed like forever and a day he shook his head ‘no’.

“Do you need anything? A drink?” I asked and held my glass of orange juice out in front of myself as an example.

“I’m fine.” He said in his husky voice.

“Ok, just checking.” I said with a soft smile and slowly lowered myself down onto the couch, seeping into the cushions like they were clouds. Bucky looked down at my leg and I peered at his arm, where it attached to his shoulder was covered by a thin blue T-shirt, I wondered how he kept it in place and controlled it so elegantly. It was as if the limb had always been metal, not a prosthetic, for it moved like a real limb- not something that could lock up and feel so horribly awkward at times.

“I lost it when I was ten.” I said and his eyes flickered away from my leg and stared into my eyes. “If you were wondering.” He nodded curtly and crossed his arms, the metal bulged and moved just like muscles would; I was completely fascinated.

“May I ask when you lost your arm?” He looked over at me and then to the arm solemnly. He looked at his arm just like I looked at my leg, like it was a disgrace.

“It was a long time ago.” He said gruffly as he watched me. Though I may have been interested in swapping stories he most definitely was not.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” I said suddenly embarrassed and crossed my good leg over my bad one, like it would help hide my stupidity, at least it partially hid my lack of being whole. I took a moment to just be quiet, he seemed to be on edge and I’m sure my questions were flustering him. “I’m sorry that I stare. I’m just fascinated by it. It is not often I see a work of art like your arm.” He looked down at his arm and extended it in front of himself, moving the fingers one by one and then clamping them down in a tight fist. He frowned and looked back over at me, his hair partially in front of steely eyes.

“This-” he said and guested with his other hand towards the prosthetic “is not art.” And with that comment he turned and left me alone, heading back into the guest room. I sat on the couch, orange juice in hand, starring out the window.

I felt a bit guilty when I went back to bed. I’d have to keep it in my mind that the arm was not a topic he was comfortable with and not to bring it up again during his stay. I climbed into my nest and Chiana woke up, padded over to me, laid down on my chest and passed out. When she was a pup it was an adorable sight when she’d sleep on someone’s chest, but now fully grown and quite heavy, it was a bit harrowing. But I didn’t have the heart to move her, so I just held her close and fell asleep.

The next morning I had work and taking in James was such an off the wall choice that I hadn’t even come up with a plan of what to do with him while I was gone. In the morning I robotically, and half asleep, did my morning routine of quickly curling my hair, attaching my leg, and putting on an avocado facemask followed up by making breakfast. Since I had already cut open one avocado for the mask I used the other half along with a second one to make some guacamole. I was seated at the kitchen breakfast nook when James woke up, his hair crazy and sticking out every direction.

“Morning’,” I mumbled through my guacamole slathered chip. I looked over at my guest and when he got a good look at me his eyes bugged out.

“H-hi,” He said and took a half step back. I frowned and stared at him before turning back to my engrossing breakfast. He stood in the doorway for a good couple minutes before it dawned on my zombie brain that he was hungry and not very comfortable with raiding my fridge.

“Oh, oh yeah.” I garbled and stood up, leaving a chip half stuck in the dip. I waddled over to the fridge and pulled out some eggs, cilantro, and portabella mushrooms. After James’s omelet was done we both sat down and ate in silence. He stared at my green face through his hair the entire time.

“It’s avocado,” I said when I started to get annoyed with what he thought were secret glances. He may be good at being aloof and hard to read but James “Bucky” Barnes is horrible at being discrete.

“Why?”

“Does good stuff to my face.”

“Oh. Like what?”

“I forget. It’s too early to remember things like that. I just do it and life goes well.”

“Ok.”

It was only after I had rinsed off our dishes (after washing off my face mask) and put them in their designated racks within the dishwasher that it dawned upon my fogged brain that I’d be leaving a strange man alone in my house. James was in his room, doing who knows what, when I had a mini panic attack.

“Hey James?!” I called and rapped on his door, wide awake and without my wicked witch of the west complexion.

“Yeah?”

“Do, do you know what you want to do while I’m at work? Are there any work force places I need to drop you off at? Because I can bring you anywhere that you need to go.” The door slowly opened and his face peered out at me.

“I, I didn’t really- I don’t have anywhere to go,” He said tripping over words and trying to find something to say.

“Well,” I paused and tried to think of a nice way to say ‘you need to get a job’ “I think it would be best to make an appointment with social services and try to get you a resume put together, then I can help you with applications if you want me to.”

“Ok.” He nodded once and still looked uncomfortable and unsure of what to do. It was almost as if he had no clue was a resume or application was.

“Alright, great! So I have work today from 9 to 4 so I won’t be home during those hours. Would you like me to drop you off somewhere and pick you up again or do you want to stay here? I can show you where all the food is for when you get hungry.”

“Can we do that stuff tomorrow, and then I just stay here today?”

“Yeah, yeah sure! Ok well I really got to get ready so come with me for a sec and I’ll show you where the food is.” He nodded and followed me back into the kitchen where I showed him where the ice-cream was hidden away in the back of the freezer (out of Willa’s reach), and if he wanted something more healthy where I kept the eggs and vegetables along with bacon, the other odds and ends would have to wait until later.

“Ok, then the TV is in the living room to keep you occupied, and if you head outside just please make sure not to let Chiana out. She’s a loyal little critter but I don’t have a doubt in my mind she’d bolt after a squirrel given the chance.” He nodded at just about everything I said.

“Those, those applications-“ James interrupted me when I was telling him about the Netflix and how it would glitch out sometimes, but just to ignore it and reload the program if the buffering wouldn’t stop.

“Yeah?”

“I think the woman gave me one at the shelter, I could try to fill one out.”

“Great! That’s great. Shoot shoot shoot,” I mumbled after taking one look at the clock. “Ok, you’ll be fine James,” It was directed towards him but said to keep myself calm. “But I’ve gotta go, bye bye baby girl,” I shouted goodbye to my Fox as she came out from her sleeping spot and tangled herself up in James’ legs.

Then I was gone.

My job is to make people feel better, to relax them and make all their woes disappear in a couple minutes. Coming into work a frazzled wreck worrying if James would be alright by himself while also worrying for the safety of my home was not exactly appropriate.

“You look awful,” Jessica the receptionist commented as I came through the front door.

“Wow thanks Jessie,” She smirked and rose out of her chair, walking gracefully from behind the desk towards me. Jessica put her hands on my shoulders and sighed.

“You need to tell that stupid ex of yours to piss off, you know that?” I stifled a chuckle.

“I haven’t been thinking of him even, it’s something else, but that is still excellent advice.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me; something other than Jasper has your aura this blackened?”

Talk of good vibes, bad vibes, auras, and emotional presence was far from odd in my experience with my sort of work. It wasn’t that Jessica was superstitious, or even religious, but her word choice concerning emotions and how a person displays said feelings had always been a little… witchy? No, that’s not quite right. Hippie-ish? Yeah, that fits the girl who somehow could pull off elegant dreadlocks and hair bindings. When I first started working at Helpful Hands I didn’t even know the eloquent receptionist had dreads, or believed in walking barefoot kept her electrical energy in line with the earth’s magnetic field, because she seemed so normal.

Now, I don’t mean to be rude. People who believe in that sort of thing simply have always been a little odd, or at least the majority that I’d met. Jessica seemed to be more of an outlier in that group of often eccentric snake juice sellers.

“Black? Seriously, it’s that bad?” In the four years I’d know her Jessie had somehow snuck some of her beliefs about auras and energy into my brain. Black was bad. Like, really bad. Jasper bad. James giving me strife just by staying in my house was not bad enough to be giving me black level vibes. “It is not black, maybe a light brown, dark navy blue even, but definitely not black.”

“Alright, maybe I got a little carried away. But still, what has you so dark?”

“I just have a guest staying at my house and it is a little stressful.” Her eyes went wide.

“Your sister came back to town?!”

“What? No! No of course not, now that would be black worthy, no I just have someone from the homeless shelter squatting with me until things cool down for him.”

“Him?” She tilted her head to the side and looked more accusing than I knew possible for Jessica.

“Don’t do that to me; Willa’s already given me the business. And Chiana thinks he is alright, can barely keep her off of him.” That seemed to ease Jessica into a better state.

“Well, she has a good reputation on reading people. Children and animals, they can see through the mist of deception right into a person’s soul Harper.” I nod.

“When is my first appointment?”

“In half an hour, you have enough time to prep and clean some of that darkness off.”

“Alright, that’s good. Thanks for your concern, I appreciate it.” She smiles and kisses the air next to each one of my cheeks. Jessie has always been one for affection with everyone she meets, well the ones she likes that is. When I first met her she stared at me for five minutes, a good several feet away, then a huge smile broke her features and she rushed at me- arms wide. She says the power of touch is a force to be reckoned with. I’d never thought of touch like that before, as a way to offer love in a non-sensual format. Jasper called it a load of BS, but as time went on it made more and more sense. I started to appreciate my line of work in a whole new light. Not only was I helping physical wounds to heal, but mental ones too. Touch can go a long way.

I wondered when the last time James received a kind touch was.