Chapter Text
A/N - just a reminder this is complete fiction despite some factual events happening in this chapter.
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5th Nov 1987
London to Miami
Deacy's POV
"Right this way Mr. Deacon." the attendant told me. I smiled and nodded and kept hold of my bag as I walked down the corridor towards the plane. It was nice to escape the photographers and reporters as I disappeared into the quiet of the loading bridge.
I had received an invitation to fly on the inaugural flight for Virgin Airlines from London to Miami Florida. Since I had nothing else going on and had grown a bit bored at home, I accepted the offer. Ronnie and the kids remained home since the children were in school. I only planned to fly over and stay a day or two in the city. Just interested in a break from home life. Surprisingly missing travel.
Welcome aboard." the pilots told me as I stepped onto the plane. I smiled and thanked them.
"We have you right here." the attendant advised as she escorted me to a business class seat. Taking my bag and putting it up in the hold as I took my seat. Another attendant appeared with a glass of champagne which I accepted from her.
The seat next to mine was soon occupied by a businessman who received his champagne and got settled in. We both quietly people watched as others boarded the plane.
"I wonder what celebrities will be aboard?" the man asked out loud as we observed the plane entrance. I fought a smirk as I realized he did not know who I am.
"I'm keen to see myself." I replied. Appearing just as curious as he was. I did note a few familiar faces as the plane finished boarding and the doors closed. There was a nice speech given over the intercom by the pilot commemorating the flight and then a video from Richard Branson played on the large television screens installed in the plane walls. Welcoming us aboard and thanking us for being part of Virgin history.
"Have you ever met Branson?" the man next to me suddenly inquired. I pondered whether to answer truthfully. I had known Richard since 1976 when he sponsored our Hyde Park concert.
"I have actually." I replied. Getting a look of surprise and delight from the man.
"Are you in the airline business?" he asked me.
"No. I work in the music business." I responded. Enjoying being vague.
"What do you do in the music business?" he then asked me. I smirked as I decided on my answer. Knowing he wanted to hear I worked for a record label or was a producer or video director. Maybe even for Virgin Records.
"I help run a music based firm. I spend a lot of time looking at the accounting." I replied. I could see that wasn't something he was interested in. I was relieved as I wasn't interested in a long conversation about Queen.
"What do you do?" I asked to be polite.
"I'm in insurance." he advised. Instantly losing my interest.
"That's nice." I remarked as I saw they were starting a film on the television screen. I picked up my headphones. "I'm going to watch the film." I said as I put them on. He did the same and I enjoyed blocking him out along with the rest of the world as I watched Dirty Dancing.
The plane eventually landed and we were handed our bags as we left the plane.
"You here to do some work?" the man asked me as we walked down the bridge together.
"Just a quick holiday." I clarified. He seemed disappointed.
"I thought maybe you were here for a music convention or something." he remarked as we stepped into the arrival area. There was a small contingent of press there to capture the arrival of the first Virgin flight to Florida. There were also quite a few people there watching the passengers coming off the plane.
"Mr. Deacon!" I heard someone call out. I turned and saw a young woman rush up holding a copy of The Game album. "Can I get your autograph?" she inquired.
"How did you know I was on the plane?" I asked with surprise as I set my bag down and took the album and pen from her.
"My dad works for Virgin. I hope you don't mind." she said as she beamed at me. "I'm just a big fan." she gushed as I scribbled my autograph on the album. Handing it back to her.
"It's okay." I told her as she smiled widely.
"Thanks so much!" she said as she stepped back to allow me to go. I got my bag and resumed walking. Noting the man had stood watching the whole affair and was smiling at me.
"I've never seen someone ask for the autograph of an accountant before." the man remarked. Clearly realizing I was more than what I implied I was.
"Oh....well...I'm a legend at it!" I quipped back and took off towards the airport exit.
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9th November 1987
I was back in London after spending two days in Miami. Mostly spent in the company of some fellow Englishman who had also been on the Virgin flight. Tony, Paul and Phil were comedians who had formed a parody musical act and were getting ready to release their first record. A send up of the Beastie Boys. I met them at the hotel and we shared a lot of laughs and a lot of drinks and they talked me into appearing in their music video for a laugh. I finally agreed after they said I could wear a disguise. So plans were made to contact me about the filming schedule and I headed back home.
After dropping my children off at school I headed into the Queen offices. Ready to do some of that accounting I had told my fellow passenger about on the plane. Needing to know how Queen had managed in the 3rd quarter after spending a year not doing anything new as a group.
I knew Brian and Roger would not be in the office. Brian was producing a comedy record of his own with a group called Bad News. I personally would have called them Bad Taste but that's my opinion. Roger was busy with his other band, The Cross. Doing a small tour and some television appearances. Trying to drum up interest in the band's first album.
Freddie was in London but had been completely absorbed in his project with the opera singer, Montserrat Caballe. They had just released their first single together, Barcelona. It was doing surprisingly well in the charts for being such a different type of music for Freddie.
I took a seat in my office and looked over the reports. Finding myself bored and unable to focus. It just wasn't want I wanted to do today. A sense of restlessness came over me and I left my office to see what else was going on at Queen central. I stopped by a few desks to say hello and signed some merchandise for giveaways.
"It seems quiet around here today." I remarked as I looked up at a bulletin board that had a large calendar with events and engagements written in.
"It is." the secretary noted. She pointed at the calendar behind her. "I know some people were going over to Townhouse to see if they could watch Freddie record." she told me.
"He's just over at Townhouse?" I asked as she smiled and nodded. Checking her watch.
"They should just be starting within the hour." she advised.
I decided I might as well drop by. It was something to do and I missed being in a studio and I also missed Freddie. I left the office and headed to Shepherd's Bush where the studio was located.
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It turns out a lot of people had tried to get into Townhouse to watch recording but were turned away. I simply showed them my ID and was happily permitted entrance. I quietly headed to the studio they were using and slipped into the room. I found a seat towards the back and sat and observed as Freddie stood in the recording booth. Providing guidance to his large group of backing singers. I spotted his friend Peter Straker among them.
It was calming and relaxing to just watch from the background and see Freddie create his magic. How his arrangement for the song was shaped and how good the backing vocals sounded as the group sang and were recorded. After doing several takes they took a break and Freddie suddenly came into the control booth. He spotted me immediately.
"What are you doing here?" he asked as I stood up and he came over to me. I smiled warmly at him.
"I'm sagging off my home life and was curious how things were going with your album." I replied as we shared a hug.
"Today is going well." Freddie advised. "I'm hoping to finish up the backing vocals so I can get the tapes sent to Monstie." he explained as he watched me light a cigarette.
"Want one?" I questioned. He nodded.
"Yes dear." he replied as I pulled another from my packet and lit it for him. As he stood there taking his first inhalation I noticed he was wearing makeup. I found it odd he would do that when it was just a day in the studio. I thought maybe he might have some photos being done. I also noticed his face seemed somewhat puffy. I leaned in close to say something.
"You look a bit puffy Fred. Everything alright?" I questioned quietly. He appeared slightly troubled by my asking.
"My doctor put me on some steroids. Throat problems..." he quickly responded. I nodded understanding as we continued talking about the song they were working on. He got interrupted by the sound engineer as the backing singers re-appeared in the recording booth. I took my seat again and continued watching.
They did some more work and then decided to switch to Freddie doing a few takes of his vocal. As they prepared to start I realized I was out of ciggies and slipped from the studio to go out to my car. I walked out of the studio and waved to some fans loitering outside. I reached my car and pulled a fresh pack from my glove compartment. As I closed my car door I felt someone touch my shoulder and I jumped from surprise.
"Sorry..." I heard a familiar voice say. I turned and found Paul Prenter standing there.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" I questioned. Paul looked around and I noticed he looked thin and tired.
"I've been trying to speak to Freddie but he won't see me or take my calls." Paul answered.
"Are you surprised?" I asked him pointedly. "You sold your secrets to the tabloids Paul. You betrayed him. You betrayed us all." I reminded him. Paul put a hand up to stop me.
"I never said a word about you or Brian or Roger!" he argued.
"It doesn't matter." I countered. "You didn't keep confidences about Freddie so that's a betrayal to us as a group." I clarified. "Why do you even want to see him?" I questioned. "Have you already run through your Sun newspaper money?" I asked as his face reflect that was the case.
"Yes." Paul confirmed. I would have thought he would appear embarrassed but there was something else in his face.
"Still buying too much coke?" I questioned with a touch of judgement in my voice. Paul remained solemn.
"I'm not spending my money on drugs." Paul responded. "I need money to pay for my medical care." he told me. I instantly wondered if he might have cancer or something since he looked poorly.
"What kind of medical care?" I inquired. Paul was anxious and looked around for any other people before he looked me in the eyes.
"I've got AIDS." Paul answered in a quiet voice and my stomach dropped.
"Christ!" I exclaimed with shock and disbelief. "Does Freddie know?" I questioned. Paul shook his head. I could see he was distressed.
"I've not been able to speak to him so of course he doesn't know." Paul reminded me. He reached out and put his hand on my arm. "You know it's only a matter of time." he stated.
"What's only a matter of time?" I asked him but knew instinctively what he was going to say.
"Freddie..." he replied and a shiver ran through my entire body. I pushed his hand away and slid into my car. Closing my door and shaking my head as I turned over the motor and jerked my car into reverse. Not wanting to listen to Paul and not wanting to register what he said.
I pulled out of my parking spot and into traffic. A sense of panic filling me as I could not shake Paul's words and I recalled that moment I overhead Freddie and Phoebe talking after our last concert. Of how Freddie looked in the studio today.
I drove towards home and tried to stave off the sense of dread that filled me. I happened to spot a hotel I was familiar with and pulled into their drive. The valet taking my car as I went inside and headed straight for the bar.
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11 pm
I pressed the buzzer for Garden Lodge and waited. Certain Freddie had to be home by now. I had spent the remainder of the day nestled in a corner of the hotel bar drinking and trying to avoid the consideration that Freddie was truly ill.
After downing my last drink I realized I had to know the truth and drove to Kensington. Brave enough to seek answers in my slightly inebriated state.
"Yes?" a voice asked me. I was certain it was Phoebe.
"It's John Deacon..Phoebe." I replied as the door lock released and I stepped into the compound.
There was something serene about his garden. Secluded behind the high walls and blocking out the noise of the city. The plants and flowers and trees blanketing the landscape. The small pond with its rhythmic flow of water. It was a nice place to escape the world. An ideal sanctuary for my friend.
I reached the door and it opened. Phoebe was standing there.
"Hi John. Freddie isn't home yet from the studio. It will probably be any time now." he advised. "You're welcome to come in and wait." he offered.
"Thanks. I will." I replied and followed Phoebe inside. He led me to Freddie's private sitting room.
"Would you like a drink?" he inquired. I shook my head and then nodded. Feeling the need to keep up my courage.
"Please." I answered. Phoebe placed his hand on my arm. Looking at me intently. Appearing somewhat motherly.
"I bet you've not had any dinner. I'll get you something." he said and disappeared before I could decline. I left the lounge and went after Phoebe.
"There's no need." I called after Phoebe as he walked to the kitchen. He stopped and turned to look at me knowingly.
"It might help you sober up." he said calmly and I realized he knew I'd been drinking. I appreciated the lack of judgement in his voice as I continued following him into the kitchen. I took a seat at the table as Phoebe opened up a cabinet and got a mug and then a plate.
"Don't go to any trouble." I urged as Phoebe smiled and prepared a cup of tea for me.
"You're no trouble at all John." he assured me. He brought me the cup and I smiled and took a sip. Appreciating that he knew how I took my tea.
"Thank you." I said as he resumed preparing a plate for me. Phoebe nodded.
"You're here late." Phoebe remarked. Opening the refrigerator.
"Yes." I agreed. "I just need to talk to Freddie about something." I said as Phoebe busied himself. There was some noise coming from other parts of the house and Phoebe turned to look and then smiled at me.
"That would be Freddie now." he declared as I stood up. Phoebe remained at the counter as I walked out. Hearing Freddie's voice. He was removing his coat as Joe Fanelli took it from him to hang up.
"Deacy darling!" Freddie called out as he saw me coming towards him. "I wondered what happen to you today." he remarked as Joe walked off with his coat.
"I need to talk to you." I told him as Freddie appeared curious.
"Of course." Freddie replied as he gestured at the kitchen. "I need something to eat and drink first." he advised as I followed him to the kitchen.
Phoebe was still standing at the counter as Freddie stepped inside.
"Phoebe could I trouble you for something? I'm feeling quite peckish." Freddie requested as he went over and sat on one of the stools at the table. He patted the one next to him. I went over and sat down next to him as Phoebe brought me a plate.
"I was making John something." Phoebe stated as I took the plate. Finding a turkey sandwich that had been warmed up.
"Thank you." I told him as Phoebe returned to the counter.
"I'll have the same please." Freddie told Phoebe as he eyed me picking up my sandwich. Finding I was actually hungry and it smelled enticing.
"It's really good. Thank you Phoebe." I told him. "Tell me about the studio today while we eat." I requested. Not wanting to discuss my reason for being there with anyone else present.
Freddie began detailing out what they accomplished today and what he had left to do. I listened as I ate and then he also had his sandwich. It was nice to visit and see Freddie so relaxed and enthused about his work.
I also found myself looking at him closely as we sat next to each other. His makeup so obvious and how his face was different. It worried me but I just listened as he talked and then noted Phoebe excusing himself after the cleaned up.
"That's my day. How have you been?" Freddie then asked me. I took a deep breath.
"Can we talk somewhere private?" I requested. Freddie was a little surprised but stood up.
"Of course." Freddie said as we left the kitchen and carried fresh cups of tea with us. We went to his private lounge and he closed the door. "No one will disturb us here." he stated.
"Where is Jim?" I questioned. Curious where he was. Hoping he wouldn't show up while we were talking.
"He's actually away in Ireland. He's visiting his family." Freddie advised. "What did you want to talk about?" he questioned. I looked past him towards the liquor cabinet in the corner.
"Can I have a drink?" I asked him.
"Of course you can." Freddie replied as I stood up and walked over to the cabinet. Finding the whisky and getting a glass.
"Do you want one?" I asked him. He shook his head as I poured my drink. Freddie leaned back on the sofa and got comfortable.
"Alright John. You're starting to worry me. Tell me why you're here." Freddie insisted. I walked back over and sat across from him on the sofa. Gripping my glass in my hand.
"I ran into Paul Prenter this afternoon." I divulged as Freddie's face went sour.
"I bet that was uncomfortable for you." Freddie remarked as he turned and opened a box on a side table. Extracting a cigarette from it. "What did he say?" he inquired.
"He was in the car park at Townhouse." I stated as Freddie's eyebrows raised. "He was trying to see you." I said as Freddie lit his cigarette.
"I'm not seeing him or taking his calls and I don't understand why he thinks we have anything to discuss since he sold his story to The Sun." Freddie said as he took a drag from his cigarette.
"I said as much to him when he told me he wanted to speak to you." I confirmed.
"What does he want? More information so he can sell that too?" Freddie responded in a bitter tone.
"He was trying to ask for money." I divulged as Freddie's face darkened.
"I've given him more money than I ever should have!" he said with regret. "Greedy bastard!" he grumbled. "I guess it's hard to maintain the lifestyle he'd grown accustomed to when he worked for us." he surmised. "He probably burned through that Sun money fairly quickly." he said.
"He said he needs money to pay for medical care." I clarified as Freddie at first appeared curious and then grew subdued.
"He's ill." Freddie said as I nodded and already knew that Freddie was aware of what that illness might be.
"He has AIDS." I confirmed as Freddie's face went pale. He stood up and walked to his liquor cabinet and I waited for him to absorb the news as he poured himself a drink.
"How did he look?" Freddie asked me as he had his back turned to me at the cabinet.
"He's lost weight and looked quite tired." I answered. Freddie sighed and I observed him downing his drink. He filled his glass again and then turned around. Coming back to sit down.
"That's terrible news." Freddie finally said after he sat down next to me.
"It is." I agreed. Preparing to find my strength and ask him the question I needed an answer to. Freddie looked me in the eyes and I thought he was going to cry.
"I need to tell you something John and it needs to stay between us." Freddie stated in a measured voice. I nodded and my heart began pounding in my chest. Certain of what he was going to say.
"Alright." I replied as Freddie reached over and took my hand in his. I was certain he could feel it shaking and then I realized his was shaking.
"I had a biopsy done because I found a lesion on my shoulder." he said and tears began sliding from my eyes as I listened. "Two different doctors tested it and it came back positive." he told me. His eyes remained fixed on mine and I could see the pain in his as he spoke to me. Matching the pain in mine as I heard his words.
"Positive." I finally managed to squeak out and Freddie nodded.
"Yes." he confirmed. He squeezed my hand as he said it.
"Oh Freddie!" I cried out and completely lost control as tears bursts from my eyes. Freddie scooted closer and pulled me into his arms. Holding me tight as I sobbed on his shoulder.
"Now darling it's not all bad..." he began to tell me as he held me. "I'm seeing the best doctors and there are news drugs coming out all the time." he said as he tried to reassure me. "I am going to do everything I can to beat this." he promised.
I didn't know what to say or how to respond. He seemed so strong about it and so assured he would be alright. I wasn't so certain of that.
"I know you will Freddie." I finally replied. Feeling like it might be possible as he held me. His strong arms and his confidence made him seem invincible.
"Please don't tell anyone about this." Freddie requested as he loosened his hold on me and released our hug. I sniffed and wiped my eyes as I nodded.
"I won't." I replied as Freddie put his hand under my chin and held it as he looked me in the eyes again.
"The only people who know are you, Jim, Phoebe, Joe and Terry and I did tell Beach because of business matters." Freddie told me. "And Mary knows." he said with a sigh.
"You haven't told Roger or Brian?" I questioned. Freddie shook his head.
"I don't want to be the bearer of bad news when they just got back together." Freddie told me. "I will tell them in good time." he said as I nodded understanding.
"I'm so sorry this has happened to you." I said as Freddie squeezed my chin and then let go.
"I am too dear." he replied as we shared a look of sadness between us.
"So you told Jim." I said as Freddie nodded and then formed a little smile.
"I did tell him and I also said that if he wanted to leave I would completely understand." Freddie revealed. "He told me he loved me and wasn't going anywhere." he said as we shared a smile.
"I'm glad to hear it." I said as Freddie picked up his glass from the table to have a sip.
"So was I." Freddie responded. His love for Jim so apparent on his face.
"I love you Freddie..." I said as his smile widened.
"I love you too John." he replied. "You should get home. It's late." he said as he stood up from the sofa. I stood up as well and tried to be strong.
"If you need to talk or need anything..." I said as Freddie cut me off.
"You know I've got it and I really just want to carry on and get on with life dear." Freddie requested. "I don't want to talk about it or have it be all you think about when you see me." he said. "Promise it won't be." he requested.
"I promise." I answered as I wondered how I was going to manage it. Freddie walked with me out of his lounge and we headed for his front door.
"Get home to Ronnie and the children and take care of yourself." Freddie advised.
"I will." I said as he opened the door. I stepped out into the cold night air and he waved as I walked through the garden to the locked gate. I opened it and stepped out. Seeing Freddie close the door and I felt a shiver go through me as I walked to the car.
I almost felt numb as I drove to Putney. Recalling the entire conversation I had just had with Freddie. I was almost sick and dehydrated from the alcohol and the tears. Worry engulfed me as I tried to imagine what would happen with Freddie. Would there be a cure for him? A treatment that would work? Would he be able to keep working? Would he be able to keep singing?
As I considered his fate as I was struck by something that I had failed to realize that evening. I pulled off the road into a car park and stopped the car. My body shaking and my heart hammering in my chest.
'Freddie had AIDS and I might have it too!'
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to be continued....