Chapter Text
Her calloused fingers combed through the clear water of the bathtub and a tired sigh escaped her lips. It was the second of November, and deep inside, the gardener held a glimmer of hope that her estranged lover would return. A tear rolled down her cheek and she sniffled--Dani would laugh at the sight of her crying over such a ridiculous thing.
Well, Dani wouldn’t think of it as ridiculous, at least, Jamie didn’t think she would. Those were her own thoughts. It had been five years--too many days that she filled the tubs and basins with water, in hopes of finding a familiar reflection in them. Her lips turned into a smile, thinking of the times they would banter and fool around with each other; the days of happiness were long gone. Subconsciously, her hands folded, with her thumb looking for the feeling of the ring around her finger.
“Maybe if I do it for long enough, you’d just come back, right?” Jamie spoke to no one in particular, foolishly expectant of an answer as she stared into the water. The silence in the room spoke volumes, and echoed off of the walls. “Right.”
Satisfied with her nightly routine, she turned her back on the bathroom and walked quiet steps into the bedroom to leave the door open, just in case. Just in case Dani would return.
And there it was again--the pain that she let herself drown in every night, every day. She knew loving Dani would eventually lead to losing her, but knowing that it was out of some great, noble cause, that it was for her, just like she always knew Dani would… Jamie submitted to her despair.
As she stepped into her bedroom, she choked out a gasp, holding onto her armchair at the sight that beheld her. There she was in all her Mary Poppins glory, Dani. Her Dani, standing still by the door, drenched from head to toe.
“Dani!” Her knees were on the floor by this point, weakened by her reappearance. The sobs could no longer be contained and were let out by Jamie, her fist softly banging on the floor.
“Hey.”
Jamie struggled to laugh in the midst of her tears and forced herself to get up to hug her lover--to even hold her. Her feet scrambled as she embraced Dani tight, afraid to let her go. She didn’t want to ever let her go.
“It’s been five years, and all you have to say… all you have to say is hey?” Even the simplest of words were difficult; she hiccuped and shivered at the cold of Dani’s temperature. The au pair could only laugh, her shaking hands stroking Jamie’s hair.
“Five years since what?” The gardener pulled away and wiped at her face. She chuckled at the question; it was so much of a no-brainer to her.
“What do you mean what? Bly Manor, the Lady in the Lake, Peter, the lake, you… you died.” Jamie’s voice went to a whisper, brushing the wet hair that stuck to Dani’s face. The very smile that she adored was worn by Dani, yet this time, of innocence and ignorance.
“I don’t remember.” She expected that. Time in the lake was bound to erase her features, as with her memories. It was a mystery to Jamie why or how Dani would be back. Yet, the sole fact that she had returned brought solace. She would have to put everything on pause, and prioritize Dani.
“How did you get here?” Her tears stopped falling and more questions started to kick in. She went to the bathroom to retrieve a towel for Dani to dry herself with.
“I… I don’t know. I was somewhere I didn’t know and then the next thing I knew I was here. The last thing I remember is you. All of it is you.” Jamie glanced down at Dani, who looked the very same that same morning. It was that dress, that look, and her eyes started to well with tears again.
“I really did die, didn’t I?” Dani’s head hung and her eyes were fixated on the wooden pallets of the floor. Jamie inhaled and nodded, having to deal with her greatest loss alone, without her best friend, led her into her few remaining bits of sanity.
“I prayed every night you would show--in the mirror, in the water, anywhere. I was miserable.” She couldn’t believe Dani would come back like this, that she would come back at all, even when she hoped for it. “I was so lonely.”
“Wasn’t I always with you?” Dani’s face scrunched up in worry and sympathy, though she couldn’t exactly figure out what had happened. She walked towards Jamie, who was a red, crying mess, and held her cheek.
“You’re all I remember. I was there every time you would fill the tub with water, when you would check your reflection, every day you’d tend to the plants with such passion and adoration in your eyes.” With those words, Jamie was unsure whether she would calm down or cry even more. All this time, she had suffered, thinking she was alone. All this time, and Dani had been with her.
“I don’t remember much of.. Of Bly Manor, or Parker, Peter, whatever.” Jamie chuckled. That bit was hard to forget. “But I do know that I love you; I know your soul and I love it with all of mine. I love you with all of me.” Her left hand found comfort in holding Dani’s, and warmth in knowing that she still wore that ring. Their ring. More than the times that they shared, Jamie knew that their love would never wane, cliché as it might be. Somewhere inside of her, she just knew that whatever they had for each other--love, such a simple and small word, was a poetry older than words could ever write.