Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

He turned himself in. If I wasn’t the one to take him into custody, I never would have believed it. 

Jill had saved my life and fallen, taking Wesker with her out that window. Both were presumed dead. I mourned for Jill even though I refused to believe she was dead. Their bodies were never found and it couldn’t be that easy to kill Wesker. If he was alive then so was she. It wasn’t the first time I wished for the evil son of a bitch not to be dead but this time it was only for the purpose of believing my best friend made it too. 

Everyone told me their bodies must have been swept out to sea so I insisted on a search. I wouldn’t believe that either of them were dead until I could verify it myself. And even then, I’m not sure I would truly believe it or at least I don’t think I could accept it. 

I spent most of my time with the search and rescue teams, some had tried to stop me with the ‘let the professionals handle it’ line. Reminders that I was trained for search and rescue missions in STARS shut them up though to be honest, we rarely got S&R calls back then and we never dealt with water related cases. The reality was that I didn’t know what I was doing but that wasn’t going to stop me from trying to find my partner. I was a quick learner and my determination was one of my strongest qualities, it alone got me through so much even when I thought I couldn’t go on. 

Eventually I was forced to go home after an outburst when they called off the search and officially declared Jill dead. So home I went. I drank… and drank. I felt like I was losing touch with myself and in the midst of my drunken pity party, Claire even came to check on me. Apparently I was getting pretty bad and she was worried enough to take some time off of work to stay with me. Among my weeping and rants about Jill, Wesker came up too. She didn’t mention it and I pretended not to remember. I was ashamed to care. I wanted him to be dead but… I couldn’t help but to be sad about it too. He used to mean so much to me… but that was a long time ago before I found out that it was all a lie. I was ashamed to still hold these feelings, I always denied them, but they came up in times such as these when I couldn’t think straight enough to keep him out of my thoughts. 

It took time but Claire helped me sober up again though I wouldn’t say I got over any of it or moved on in any way. I still believed them both to be alive and I would stick to that until proven wrong. That always made Claire sad but she didn’t try to correct me, just accepted my soberness and my return to work as a sign that I was well enough for her to return to her own life. She still called often though and I was grateful for that. 

It wasn’t until around two months after that dreadful mission that I got a call from the hospital, as her emergency contact, stating that Jill had been brought in. I rushed there right away and though she was unconscious, she appeared to be fine. The doctors said she didn’t have any sort of damage to her whatsoever although as I looked over her, I noticed a few new scars although they didn’t look as new as they should have. I was sure those scars weren’t there before but they appeared like they had years to heal. Another big question I had for the doctors was her blonde hair but they seemed confused so I told them that she was a brunette and wouldn’t have dyed her hair. They didn’t know what to tell me and I knew they would have no way to run the tests I wanted done, it would have to wait until we were back at the BSAA or I could ask her myself. 

I made sure to call this in and update everyone about Jill’s whereabouts. I said it wasn’t necessary to have anyone else come because I would be her guard until she was able to leave. Everyone else seemed as suspicious about this as I felt but I was more happy about her being alive and here to think too much into it. 

I had just sat back down in the chair I placed next to her bed, letting out a big breath of what felt like fresh air. This was the best I’d felt in a long time. I was so happy that I hadn’t lost her. I knew that this had to mean Wesker was also still out there but I chose to think about that later. Though I couldn’t help but wonder if it was Wesker himself that did something to heal her and bring her here. I couldn’t really see him doing such a thing but I didn’t know what else to think. Whatever happened and whoever did it, I was grateful. I took her hand in mine and ran my free hand over her now pale blonde hair. It wasn’t just her hair that had paled in color, her skin and what I could see of her eyes when the doctors checked them showed they were much lighter now too. The change troubled me but I had to remind myself that, whatever happened, at least she was alive. 

“Just what happened to you Jill?” I whispered more to myself as I thought it all over again. 

“I believe it’s a side effect.” an all too familiar voice stated calmly and I felt my nerves light on fire. I jumped up from my seat and drew my gun, aiming it at the man who stood in the doorway. Wesker wore that damn cocky smirk that I so hated.  

“Wesker.” I growled but he didn’t move as I placed myself between him and Jill. He had his hands clasped behind his back and looked way too calm while I was internally panicking. What was he doing here? Did he come to kill Jill? How was I supposed to fight him in a building full of civilians? What was he planning? Of all the questions I wanted to demand answers to… why was the biggest one whether or not he was the one to keep Jill alive? 

“I expected you to be happier to see us.” he said as if he were playing some game and had the upper hand on me. I’m sure that’s how he viewed everything, like a game that he was winning. 

“What did you do to her?” I finally got out. 

“We were both in pretty rough shape after that fall, of course I healed fairly quickly but Jill on the other hand,” he motioned to her. “was barely clinging to life so I took her with me.” he stopped there like that meant anything. 

“What did you do to her?” I demanded again, stronger this time but all it did was make the other man grin wider. 

“I injected her with more of the T-virus so it would restore her body.” at his revelation I felt the fire in my veins suddenly turn to ice. My eyes fell from Wesker to look down at my best friend, now very afraid for her. I don’t think I’d be able to pull the trigger if she- “She won’t turn into a zombie.” Wesker interrupted my thoughts and I knew he was rolling his eyes at how my face had paled. “She was given the antidote many years ago, it’s adapted perfectly with her DNA. I tested everything first and was very careful to give her just enough to take advantage of the regenerative properties of the virus.” he continued to explain as his head turned toward the woman on the bed. “The loss in pigmentation is an unexpected side effect but I’m sure you’ll agree that it’s an acceptable one.” I looked at her again and saw the changes in a new light. The blonde hair, paler skin, lighter eyes, new scars probably from where bones had broken and possible surgeries before the virus was ready for her… they were all the cost of saving her life. And yes, it was acceptable. 

“How can I trust you?” 

“You shouldn’t.” he stated seriously. “But the evidence will show no form of experimentation aside from the T-virus and all cuts will be around broken bones or ruptured organs though they’ve all healed. It was almost challenging to keep her alive long enough to administer the virus.” he smiled almost fondly as if the thought of cutting into my best friend was a happy memory for him. I grit my teeth and had to refrain from pulling the trigger. 

“Why?” 

“You’ll have to be a bit more specific, there are many things that question could apply to.” though he said that, his sadistic smirk was back and we returned to his game. The last thing I wanted to do was play along but I needed to know. 

“Why did you save her and bring her to this hospital?” I asked, knowing he was fully aware this was the closed hospital to where we both lived near our BSAA headquarters. Essentially he didn’t just bring her to the hospital, he brought her directly home. 

“Would you have rather let her die?” the damn bastard was so smug but… but I was still grateful. I couldn’t understand why he did it and I knew he would never tell me but I was so grateful that he did. I knew how bad the damage had been from what the doctors had pointed out on her x-rays and what I knew was old versus new. I knew no doctor on this planet could have saved her… but this twisted man with his knowledge in the virus he helped to create had done it. I hated him so much for everything he’s done but right now… I… 

“Thank you.” I whispered and pretended I didn’t feel the burning in my eyes and the way my chest hurt as my heart and lungs worked harder under the stress of my emotions. He seemed a little taken aback for a moment, the smirk on his face falling into a blank expression like he wasn’t expecting that. I wasn’t either but… Jill was alive and I had this man I hated to thank for that and I just couldn’t help that being the only thing I felt right now after going through the loss I felt for… for both of them. They were alive. 

“I’m turning myself in.” the world grew hazy for a moment and I didn’t believe it even as the words came from Wesker’s own lips. The words took a moment to process but even then I still didn’t believe. More questions swirled in my mind and I was beginning to harden towards the man again as I considered whatever possibility of what he could be planning. Quite frankly though I was coming up empty. I couldn’t imagine what he stood to gain by saving Jill and turning himself in. 

“What are you playing at?” I demanded of him as his arms slowly moved out to his sides to reveal his hands. 

“Nothing you need to worry about for now.” was the blond’s answer, his hands continuing to move slowly and I watched every inch of it carefully. He pulled his jacket aside with one hand and pulled his handgun from its holster with the other. I was tempted to shoot right then but I was dealing with whiplash from the very thought of my nemesis turning himself over to us. He slowly bent to lower the gun to the ground before straightening and kicking it over to me. My eyes flicked to the gun to locate it before I used my foot to push it behind me and farther away from him. We stared each other down as I waited for him to make a move like he was just doing this for the dramatic purpose of taking me off my guard. It would never work, I was too focused on him and would never fall for something like that, especially not from him. But he never did. He stayed right where he was, keeping his hands within my sight as he waited almost patiently for me to realize that he was being serious. 

“Why are you doing this?” I asked again though my voice faltered slightly in confusion. 

“I have some conditions that will be met in exchange for life saving information, evidence of various companies tampering with bioweapons, and all of my black market contacts.” he stated smugly with the return of that damn smirk. He knew all of that was more than we could afford to lose. I knew every bit of it was true, he had more connections than I could imagine and he had influence no matter where he went. He had charisma and the power to back up whatever claims he made. I had no doubt he had all the information he claimed… so why was he offering to give it all up? It’s not like he could expect us to just let him go in exchange, that would never happen. It didn’t even make sense for him to make such a deal, he had no problem remaining hidden from us and anyone else that was searching for him. I tried to think about what he could want that he couldn’t get himself but I couldn’t think of anything. “I’ll even point out which contacts will cooperate with you and which ones will need to be dealt with.” he added to pull me from my contemplation. 

“Why?” I simply asked though my tone may have carried more curiosity than I intended. 

“My conditions will be discussed later with your superiors.” 

“You realize you’re still going to be a prisoner.” my tone was cautious but still curious. 

“Obviously.” 

“So why?” 

“I grow tired of your repeated questions Chris.” we stared at each other for a long moment before I finally exhaled an agitated puff of air. 

“I’m gonna cuff you.” I announced carefully as I took a step toward him, keeping aware of every little movement made. “You move, I shoot you.” he only nodded in understanding, his smirk remained like this was part of the game. 

“I might let you.” he said, almost playful and though it deeply disturbed me, I ignored it. I cautiously made my way over to the other man before using one hand to carefully pat him down for more weapons, not that he would need any to kill me. I spared a glance over his shoulder to the hallway outside. No one seemed to have noticed the situation which was good, a scene would only cause panic and I’m not sure how Wesker would react to that. I couldn’t just have him standing around where he could still run so what else could I do with him? I walked backward to keep my gun trained on him as I kicked my chair to the farthest wall. After that I slowly bent to retrieve Wesker’s handgun, making sure the safety was on before tucking it into the back of my pants since I didn’t have a holster it would fit in. It was eerie how he didn’t make a move, he just stood there and watched me. Why wasn’t he trying to kill me or make his escape? 

“Sit down.” I said as I motioned to the chair that was now near the wall. He wordlessly walked across the room and sat down. I didn’t like how easy this was, there was no way he would take orders from anyone so why was he actually listening to me? I circled around behind him before finally holstering my gun to pull the handcuffs from my belt and it chilled me the way Wesker so willingly gave me his wrists to lock up so he was stuck to the chair. They wouldn’t be of any use actually keeping him detained and we both knew it but it was better than doing nothing. It did make me feel a tiny bit better even if it was just giving me some peace of mind that I was at least trying. 

I backed away from him, once again drawing my weapon to aim at his head. With one hand I pulled my phone from my pocket and called HQ to explain what was happening. They were sending people to transport him and someone would stay with Jill just in case. I continued to watch Wesker and he only stared back at me too calmly. Even with the BSAA on the way to fully detain him, he still didn’t try anything. It was really unnerving to me. Just what was his plan here? It was eating me alive that I couldn’t even begin to grasp the first straw of any sort of plan he could have. I was supposed to be some sort of expert when it came to all things Wesker so why didn’t I even know where to begin with this? I hated not understanding things, always have. The man before me always said my stubbornness was one of my least favorable qualities back when he was my captain. I shook those thoughts away and exhaled heavily. I was getting more and more frustrated the longer I thought about it. 

“It’s futile to think so much on the why when you won’t get the answer.” Wesker stated, still so damn sure of himself. I mean the man was always sure of himself and practically screamed confidence with his every move but this was the longest I’d ever seen him so… joyful. He was enjoying the situation far too much and at my expense, what’s new there? I scoffed and didn’t give him the satisfaction of an answer. The smirk was off of his face and he frowned at me. “Come now Chris, you’re taking the fun out of this.” 

“Good.” I retorted harshly only to kick myself when Wesker’s smirk returned. He chuckled as I groaned, realizing I had given him what I just said that I wasn’t going to. He didn’t need the extra entertainment from me. I was saved from having to suffer more of the blond’s teasing when I heard heavy footsteps coming down the hall and I knew the other BSAA agents were here. The next few moments had a room full of guns pointed at the ever smirking Wesker and I felt relieved to not be alone anymore. 

Wesker never said a word as I walked over to uncuff him from the chair though I reattached them to his wrists so he could stand. I was conflicted about whether I should go back with them or stay with Jill but another agent assured me they had this covered. This seemed to upset Wesker as he scoffed and sat back down, crossing one leg over the other as he stared at me with an irritated look now. I knew him and he was upset because to him he wasn’t turning himself over to the BSAA but rather to me personally. It was then I realized he wasn’t going to listen to anything anyone said and might even stir up trouble if he didn’t get his way. I know that sounds like a childish reaction but the way he did it wasn’t childish at all. It’s not like he was throwing a fit or anything, he was a bit of a control freak so everything needed to go according to his plan. So if part of his plan was to have me there and I wasn’t, there would be trouble. 

Needless to say, I ended up going with them to take Wesker in but I told the agent staying with Jill to call me the moment she woke up, going as far as to ask the same thing of the nurses on the way out. Just to make sure everything went smoothly, I was the only one that interacted with Wesker, not that he would allow anyone else to touch him. The first agent that tried to guide him by the chain of the handcuffs backed up in fear when Wesker’s eyes glowed red from behind his sunglasses. Why did he have to be so difficult? I supposed if I was turning myself in and handing over all of my evil plans, I’d want it all done my way too. 

The drive in the back of the armored truck was tense as I continued to watch Wesker. He was now more heavily chained to the seat but he still seemed just as calm. I really didn’t like any of this, none of it sat well with me. Once he was in a reinforced cell at headquarters, I was told they would keep me informed of what happened so I left to go back to Jill. She still wasn’t awake so I dismissed the agent with her and stayed with her for the rest of the night. I didn’t sleep at all with so much on my mind. 

Jill woke in the morning and the first thing she did was smile at me as I took her hand. 

“I’m so glad you’re okay.” she spoke, her voice low and raspy. She looked at me with relief like it had been my life that was in danger and it made me want to cry. 

“Right back at you.” I smiled back at her though it soon fell. “It’s been two months Jill, the BSAA presumed you were dead but I never lost hope.” I told her and she frowned as her brows knit together as she thought. 

“How am I alive?” she closed her eyes and raised her free hand to her head. I took a deep breath and thought about how to answer. 

“What do you remember?” 

“Not much.” she lowered her hand back to her side and stared up at the ceiling. “I remember tackling Wesker out of the window and falling and…” the way she trailed off as she fought back tears told me that she remembered hitting the ground. I couldn’t imagine what that must have been like. “I remember being so afraid because I knew I was going to die.” she slightly nodded before looking at me with a small smile. “But I was able to accept that because it meant that you would live. I knew Wesker probably would too but at least he couldn’t have killed you right then.” I heavily disagreed but didn’t have the heart to scold her for her touching sacrifice because I would have done the same thing for her. “I…” she paused to gather her thoughts. “I remember bits of seeing Wesker and bright lights and the smell of blood and so… so much pain.” she was staring at the ceiling again and I felt so much sadness that she remembered any of that. 

“I’m sorry.” I told her sincerely but she shook her head to tell me that it wasn’t my fault. “How do you feel?” she sighed and looked down at herself. 

“Good actually. A little groggy but I’m not in any pain and I can move fine.” she rose her arms above her head to demonstrate. “Hey so I know this is going to sound crazy but…” she looked at me seriously. “did Wesker save me?” the overwhelming gratitude I felt towards Wesker came back stronger because even through everything she experienced, Jill herself knew that what he did had saved her rather than hurt her. I only nodded, not sure of exactly what to say because I was still having a hard time wrapping my head around it. “How?” 

“Um… well…” I placed my other hand on top of the one I was already holding. “Don’t freak out, you’re totally fine, but he used the T-virus.” her eyes widened and she examined herself again, noting the new scars that were already healed and it all seemed to make sense to her. 

“That’s… that’s a lot of effort just to keep me alive.” she stated and I again could only nod. “How did I end up here?” 

“Wesker brought you.” she looked at me skeptically. “Really. He even turned himself in.” 

“You can’t be serious.” Jill muttered in utter disbelief. 

“I’m right there with you but he let me pat him down and cuff him and he never tried anything. Even walked right into the cell at HQ.” I told her, still not believing it either. 

“Wait, he’s at HQ right now?” she turned serious again as she sat up. 

“Yeah.” I confirmed. 

“Do we know what he’s planning?” I sighed and gently pushed her shoulder to get her to lay back down. 

“Not yet but he wants to make some sort of deal, we’ve had him since yesterday and the higher ups promised to keep me in the loop since he only seems interested in dealing with me.” she gave me a strange look at that. “I don’t know why but I seem to be a part of his plan so he’s going to make sure it goes accordingly, you know how he is.” I defended myself and she nodded with a soft sigh. I went ahead and explained the rest of what had happened. 

“Chris are you sure about this?” she asked carefully and I understood what she meant. Was I sure about taking him in rather than killing him? To be honest, I wasn’t. I knew he needed to be put down rather than incarcerated. He would only ever be a threat and after everything he’s done I personally wanted him dead. But what he was offering was too good to let go, with his information we could stop so many people working on viral weapons and prevent so many outbreaks. If I had even a bit of hope that we could get rid of him and still get the information, I would choose that option. But Wesker knew how valuable his info was so I knew he would have it locked up so tight that not even the best could get to it. We needed him to get the information. Then there was the issue of feeling like I owed him for saving Jill. 

“Yeah.” was all I said though I knew she could tell I wasn’t happy about it. I don’t think anyone was- except Wesker. “There’s another thing.” I said slowly and she looked at me a bit warily. “Your hair is blonde.” she seemed confused for a minute before slowly reaching behind her to pull her ponytail in front of her to see the pale color. She looked at me with widened eyes full of confusion and terror. I bit my bottom lip to keep from laughing that this is what got to her. 

“Wha… what the hell?” she almost shouted at me and I couldn’t contain the laughter that bubbled out of me. “What did he do to me?” now she seemed angry. She had always loved her hair even if her life as a soldier meant that she didn’t do much with it, she still loved it. 

“Wesker said it’s just a side effect of the virus, you lost pigmentation in, well, everywhere.” I explained and her shock deepened as she demanded a mirror. I got up and looked for one, quickly giving up and just gave her my phone. She unlocked it, having already known the password, and opened the camera which she then held in front of her face. She turned her head this way and that as she looked herself over before looking down at her body again. 

“I just thought I was pale from losing blood.” she mumbled as she handed my phone back which I pocketed and sat back down. 

“You still look great.” I told her with a smile and she looked at me skeptically though she smiled back with a shake of her head. “You could always dye it.” I offered and she shrugged. 

“Maybe.” she sighed and settled back into a more comfortable position, turning onto her side to face me. “I’m sorry I was gone so long, I can’t imagine what you went through thinking I was dead.” I snorted a bit at that and sighed, inwardly cringing at myself. 

“I was a mess, Claire had to come babysit me.” I sheepishly admitted and Jill laughed. 

“Well at least it’s good to know how much you really care about me.” she teased and I smiled at her. We sat in silence for a moment as she stared at me, her expression beginning to sour. 

“What?” I asked defensively. 

“You look exhausted, when was the last time you slept?” I groaned and rubbed at my eyes as if it would get rid of the tiredness she could clearly see. 

“I don’t know. With everything that’s been going on it’s been kinda hard.” I explained and her lips pulled into a line as she continued to examine me. I sighed and waited for her to finish her scrutiny, feeling like a kid under her stern gaze. She was again acting like I had been the one in danger and was double checking to make sure I was alright. I couldn’t believe that she was worried about me when she was the one that should be dead. She really needed to be more concerned with herself sometimes. She almost died. 

“Yeah, okay.” she finally said and let her gaze fall from me. “You don’t have to stay here. Go home and get some sleep before they need you to deal with Wesker.” I was just about to object to that when my phone rang. “Too late.” she smirked playfully though there was pity in her eyes. I answered the call that was indeed from HQ. A deal had been presented and both sides were in agreement but it was up to me to officially seal the deal. I didn’t understand why and they wouldn’t say anything else about it until I got there so we could discuss the full terms. Jill told me to keep her informed and I left after we agreed she would be safe without a guard.

Chapter Text

I was told that the first thing the man talking to Wesker did was try to show that he wasn’t afraid of him by asking why they should even listen to anything he said and stated that they don’t negotiate with terrorists. Wesker then broke all his bindings, evaded every attack, and threatened to kill everyone as he made his way out. I sighed and internally rolled my eyes as that was a predictable reaction. He was sure they had the means to contain him somehow but if he didn’t want to be there, he would eventually find a way out. He was a superhuman genius with a wide range of specialties, they had to be very careful about how they dealt with him and it seemed they had started off badly. 

It was then agreed to at least hear him out so Wesker had listed that his demands were to be kept well rather than in a cell and to be supplied with writing materials, a list of books, and whatever else he would need, within reason. Those were side conditions but he wouldn’t reveal what the real one was until I was present. After that, he refused to speak at all and nothing they tried worked. It was posed to me as an option and I was even asked how they should proceed, being the ‘Wesker expert’ and being highly regarded as one of the founders of the whole organization. I told them they wouldn’t get anything out of Wesker that he didn’t want out so while I hated having to play right into his hands, what he had was too important to pass up and Wesker knew it. He would push as far as he wanted within the limits of it still being ‘worth it’ and we would have to comply. Our only choice was to give him what he wanted while his demands were still low as he would no doubt start to stack them the more annoyed he became with people which was why I also advised little contact. I didn’t say it but the whole ‘being kept well’ thing was probably a result of the poor negotiating in the beginning. 

Wesker had told them that the evidence was on his phone but it was encrypted and only he was able to get into it, one wrong move and everything would be lost. A backup existed but he would have to be physically present to get it. So if we wanted to avoid having to bring him along for that, he advised that no one attempt to hack into his phone but it was up to us. There was already a lot of debate about whether or not to hack it anyway. The tech department had at least taken a peek at the encryption and hesitated so I shut down the idea to hack it, saying it was better to have it ready than to be forced to agree to take Wesker along to retrieve the backup. 

Once all that was settled, I was sent in to confront Wesker in the very thick reinforced glass cell he was currently in. 

“Chris, how wonderful of you to finally join the negotiation.” it was unexpected to be greeted warmly though it was still as condescending as ever.

“Cut the shit Wesker, just tell me what you want.” I demanded as I rubbed my eyes again, really starting to feel just how tired I truly was. 

“You really should get some sleep.” his tone hadn’t changed but when I looked back at him his smirk was replaced with his usual stoic expression. He was being serious. What the hell? Was he actually concerned about my wellbeing? Of course not, he’s just messing with me while he knows I’m too tired to really deal with it. That was true but I also just wasn’t in the mood to be messed with and that’s all Wesker did so I didn’t want to be here longer than was absolutely necessary. 

“I’m fine.” I snapped more out of confusion than anger though I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t getting a bit grumpy. 

“Alright.” the blond dropped it and smirked again much to my dismay. “You have to stay with me in captivity for one whole month, down to the very last hour.” the words were simple enough but they hit me about the same as when the man had told me he was turning himself in. I stood there shocked for a few silent moments as he waited, again too patiently as I processed what he was saying. 

“What?” was all I could dumbly say. 

“I won’t harm you. There can be visual surveillance though I won’t stand for auditory surveillance. I’ll leave it up to you how we’re detained but it has to be a shared space.” he went on as if I wasn’t already lost. “You have the rest of the day to think it over before I recant the deal and escape.” and then he drops that bombshell. 

“Uh…” I honestly had no idea what to say or think for that matter. My brain had already been in overdrive because of all of this and now it was threatening to shut down. Without knowing what else to say, I wordlessly walked away and ignored the chuckling from the cell. 

Everyone told me that it was completely up to me if I was going to do it or not but it was obvious they were expecting me to take the deal. I guess somehow I already knew I was going to but I really needed to get away and give my mind a little time to try to make sense of any of this. So I went home. I didn’t call Jill though someone did because I then got a call from the hospital that I assumed was her. I let it go to voicemail which I then listened to just to make sure it wasn’t actually the nurses calling me to say something had happened. It was Jill so I stopped listening. I didn’t want anyone else’s thoughts on this, at least not until I could figure out my own. 

I did shut down from the stress of it all and woke up with a massive headache. It wasn’t that late so I don’t think I was out for long but I could think more clearly. Of course I was going to take the deal. I had to in order to save millions of lives. With that in mind, it wasn’t that bad… I mean it could be much worse. Saving countless lives versus spending a month with Wesker? As much as I hated it, it was an easy decision. I called in with an affirmative on the deal but refused to go back in. I called Jill to let her know exactly what was going on. She was silent for a long time before simply wishing me luck and promising to be there if I needed anything. She must have been thinking about it a lot as well the past few hours and reached the same conclusion as I had. She said one last thing before she hung up that made me feel like a weight had come off my chest. 

“Tell him thank you for me.” 

I wasn’t alone in these cursed feelings of gratitude for the evil man. He had done something genuinely good that he didn’t have to for no discernable reason other than just to save Jill and by extension, me. He could have let her die and turned himself in with all the same demands and still gotten his way but he went through all the effort of saving her instead. I wasn’t alone in feeling like maybe, somehow, in his own way… that he cared. I’m sure we were wrong but at least I wasn’t alone in thinking that maybe STARS wasn’t just an act for him. I wasn’t alone in feeling like we were somehow important. And maybe, just maybe, I wasn’t alone in feeling like he could be changed or that maybe he already was changing. The last thing he had done before this was kill Oswell E. Spencer, the man behind Umbrella and the last remaining piece to everything that controlled him his whole life. I knew I was getting my hopes far, far too high but I wanted to believe that’s what he needed in order to feel free to do whatever he wanted to do and that came with a change of perspective that didn’t include all his evil plans. I would never expect him to regret what he’s already done but that didn’t mean he couldn’t change what he did in the future. 

I was up all night thinking about this and kicked myself in the morning after some coffee, reminding myself that he wasn’t changing and he would never just suddenly become a better person. There was some angle he was playing. There was something he was getting out of this even if I couldn’t see it yet. 

I later met with an architect the BSAA hired to build an underground cell for us to stay in and I was supposed to help him design it. I didn’t know why I was supposed to do that but they said they were taking my advice to be careful with Wesker and he had said he would leave it up to me so that’s what we were doing. Leaving it up to me. Great. I thought about it for a long time. I didn’t want to be stuck with him at all times, I wanted my own space, so I got my own room and bathroom. It was a start. I wanted somewhere to lock him in if I felt the need so his cell became its own room though I refused to call it his bedroom since he didn’t deserve that. He wouldn’t care about the lack of privacy needed for the bathroom, even if he did they were going to monitor him at all times anyway. So the bathroom was in the same room as his cell with just a curtain to separate them though it wouldn’t go all the way around to give him any privacy. As an added safety precaution, both my bedroom and bathroom doors would lock from the inside while his cell door would lock from the outside. It was a small gesture and I knew the doors wouldn’t be enough to stop him if he didn’t want them to but it did make me feel a bit better about this whole thing. It reassured me that despite putting me in this situation, the BSAA was at least trying to make sure I was as comfortable and safe as possible. 

Jill was released from the hospital since there was nothing actually wrong with her anymore and the doctors didn’t know what to do with her. The BSAA still wanted to perform some tests just to make sure of a few things. She even demanded and they tested to be sure her hair wasn’t just dyed and was disappointed that Wesker had been telling the truth that it was actually changed. It was a funny thought though that Wesker had dyed her hair just to mess with her. If the man had a normal sense of humor rather than a twisted one, I’d even say he would do it just to see her reaction. Jill joined the planning once everyone was done with her and we learned that she truly was fine and we both shared a knowing look. I internally thanked Wesker again and secretly hoped that Jill did too. I still hadn’t told Wesker that she wanted to thank him, I felt that it was wrong so I didn’t want to say it while there was so much surveillance and someone else could hear. It could wait. I assumed that Jill felt the same because she hadn’t been to see him at all. Some believed it to be trauma but I knew better. Yes, she had some trauma, she basically remembers falling to her death and the surgeries it took to keep her alive. But that didn’t have to do with Wesker. She didn’t face him because she didn’t feel like thanking him would be wise when others who wouldn’t understand could hear. 

We went back and forth with how to connect the rooms when it was thrown in that it would be best to have a kitchen area otherwise meals would need to be brought in daily which allowed for too much outside contact. Jill joked that we were just making an apartment which was followed by silence. It somehow made everything more clear. One of the conditions was that he would be imprisoned comfortably and even after Chris was able to leave, it would provide all the same safety precautions to prevent him from escaping. The only time he would get any sort of contact would be to resupply the kitchen. Yes it was more than he deserved but it met the demands, prevented him from escaping, kept me and anyone else that might have to go down there safe, and kept Wesker away from anyone else to possibly make new contacts. So we made an apartment though I wouldn’t let anyone call it that or Wesker’s room a bedroom because that was too far for me. It was a prison, the room was his cell, and I was the warden. This became somewhat of a joke and whenever a new job came up involving this case, we titled it something relating to the prison system. There would be a heavily secured elevator that would lead down to the hallway filled with security measures, booby traps are basically what they really were. The ‘front door’ was reinforced steel with a few different types of locks on it ranging from deadbolts to fingerprint scanners. All of it on the outside so even though I was in the system, I couldn’t unlock the door until after the month was over.

When the architect was done with the floor plan and we all agreed on it, I took it to Wesker though it only showed the prison, not anything of the security beyond it. I pressed it to the glass so he could look it over. The entrance led into the living room, my room was to the left and his cell was to the right, beyond that was the kitchen and the connected dining area, and just off to the side of that was space for a washer and dryer. It wasn’t big or nice by any means but it was still more than he deserved. Wesker seemed a little displeased about something but nodded and said it would do. So the men got to work building it. They were scheduled to finish it before the first of the following month which would begin my incarceration with Wesker and last until the very last hour of the month. 

I spent the remainder of my time away from the BSAA, having been reassured that taking some time off before I had to do this was best for me. I was alone for the most part but Jill came by often since she was also given some time off after what she had been through. We both appreciated the company. We talked about what happened to her only a little bit. She wasn’t looking forward to starting therapy per the BSAA’s procedures but understood why it was needed. I asked her if she blamed Wesker and she said she didn’t. She blamed him for almost killing me but it was her who tackled him out of a window overlooking a cliff and instead of leaving her to die, he saved her and brought her home. We didn’t talk about it again because she wasn’t ready. So we talked about what I should bring with me. At first I said I didn’t need anything but she assured me I would get bored, pointing out that even Wesker wanted books to keep entertained. That was the last time either of us so much as brought him up, both too ashamed to admit our feelings that betrayed our minds. Jill assured me she would pack some things she thought I might like to keep me busy. I would usually turn to work to keep busy but it was already made clear to me that I wouldn’t be sent any while I was down there in case Wesker got to it which I understood but it was still irritating. I agreed to whatever Jill wanted to have me take. 

I called Claire to update her on what I could. Jill was found alive though I couldn’t really go into detail about how so I just never brought up the extent of her injuries. I thought she would continue to pretend I had never mentioned Wesker with such sadness during my drunken state but she asked if he was also found and if I was okay. I hung up on her because I didn’t know how to answer. It was like she knew all of the guilty feelings I was hiding and had directly questioned me about it. It was then that I realized that I wanted- no, I needed to talk to her about this. I couldn’t talk about it with Jill because she was going through the same thing and was just as confused and guilty over it as I was. Maybe Claire could help her sort it out later too but I needed to get myself together before I went in there and Claire had less of a bias about Wesker than anyone else I could possibly share this with. Plus she was my little sister and I didn’t like to keep things from her. I ended up getting permission from the higher ups to tell her everything, her position in TerraSave greatly helped the approval, though she had to sign a document of confidentiality. I called her back and told her to come to my apartment so we could talk and I warned her about the paper in case she didn’t want to know. Of course she agreed to sign it for me and said she would visit over the weekend. 

As promised, Claire came to stay with me for the weekend and I sat her on the couch so I could tell her everything. She listened intently with little quips of feedback or questions here and there but for the most part she was quiet and just listened. 

“What do you think?” I asked, a touch more nervous than I liked. 

“I think you’re crazy.” she said a bit harshly with folded arms and a stern look on her face. I deflated a little in disappointment. Just because I said she had less of a bias against him than others I know, myself included, doesn’t mean she didn’t still hate the man. “But,” she continued with a sigh as she looked down at her lap. “I understand why you agreed. I would probably do the same thing if it meant preventing so much pain and death.” she admitted and I breathed in an air of relief. 

“Exactly.” I nodded and relaxed more into the couch behind me. 

“What are you bringing?” 

“What?” he asked, feeling confused about her sudden question. 

“Well the prison is gonna need furniture.” the redhead stated matter of fact. 

“Oh. Yeah, we’ve got all the basics covered.” I replied, not really caring about that. 

“I figured but what are you bringing? Is your room comfortable? Do you have enough to keep busy since you can’t work?” her voice was a bit more rushed now and I knew that was a sign of her nervousness. She was probably going over the different ways this could go wrong in her head. She always worried too much for a tough girl. I chuckled at all the different times I recalled her stressing over me though I was her strong older brother. She was just such a kind and loving person and I loved that about her. 

“Jill’s insisting that she pack some things for me to keep me from getting bored.” I told her and she nodded. 

“That’s good.” she looked around for a moment. “Do you have a tv?” she asked, pointing to the small smart tv that sat in front of us. 

“It’s a prison.” I reminded her. 

“Not for you.” she shot back. “Take your tv- and your laptop- and your phone. Can I still contact you?” I took her hand to get her to look at me. 

“Thank you for looking out for me but I’ll be fine Claire.” I assured her with a soft smile and she sighed, squeezing my hand. 

“I just want you to be okay.” she smiled playfully back at me. “Otherwise those months I spent chasing you around the world would’ve been for nothing.” we both laughed at that. “You are taking your stuff though.” she stated seriously. “You’ll thank me later.” 

“Fine.” I rolled my eyes. “And yes, we’ll still be able to talk.” she nodded and seemed satisfied. Now or never I guess. “There’s um, there’s actually something else I wanted to talk to you about.” I stated as I leaned forward with my elbows on my knees. I couldn’t bring myself to look at her anymore as her inquisitive bright blue eyes turned to me. “It’s about what I was saying… while I was drinking.” 

“I thought you didn’t remember-” 

“We were both pretending I didn’t say anything.” I corrected hastily and she nodded, understanding why I would want to pretend I hadn’t acted as if I was sad that my nemesis was possibly dead. “Look, I- back in STARS I think I…” I took a deep breath and had to give myself a minute. This was a lot harder to say out loud than I thought it was going to be as I’d never done it before, not even while I was alone. I hardly ever let the thought form in my own mind before banishing it to the darkest corner of my brain. My sister’s hand rubbed at my back as she scooted closer to me on the couch, her leg now touching mine as her free hand rested on my arm. I felt better with the comforting touches and her loving aura around me. 

“Take your time.” Claire reassured me that it was okay and she was there. I took another deep breath and ripped the bandaid off. 

“I had a crush on Wesker.” I finally forced out and noticed her eyes widened from my peripheral vision and her hand stopped rubbing my back though it remained on me. I didn’t blame her for freezing in shock, not only did I just confess to once having a crush on another man but Albert Wesker of all men. “I don’t anymore but he saved Jill and- I don’t know! It’s- I think it’s doing something weird to me.” I sighed in frustration, putting my head in my hands. “It’s stirring up old feelings and thoughts and I’m pretty sure Jill feels the same way.” I tried to explain but knew I was failing miserably. I didn’t know what was going on with me so how was I supposed to put it into words for someone else to understand? But that was why I was talking to her about it, right? In the hopes that she could help me figure it out. 

“Jill had a crush on him too?” she asked almost in disgust. 

“What?” my head turned to her to see the baffled expression she wore. “No! I mean, I don’t think so. That’s not the point!” I turned to glare at the ground again. “I just mean she’s feeling mixed up about it. Wesker doesn’t care about anyone but himself yet there’s no reason for him saving Jill. He was the only one involved that didn’t gain anything from it.” 

“Are you sure?” she asked hesitantly and I thought for a minute. 

“Positive. If he was gonna get anything out of saving her, it would have been by using her as some sort of experiment and he was right, the evidence shows that he didn’t.” 

“What if the experiment was seeing if the T-virus could heal her without mutating?” her question took me by surprise and I should have thought about that more but for some reason I felt defensive. 

“Claire, he went to the trouble of bringing her home.” I reminded her and she shrugged. “He could have killed her and still gotten his way with turning himself in, which is another weird thing all on its own.” I sat back up so Claire moved her arm and I stared up at the ceiling. We were quiet for a while and I could practically hear the gears turning in her head. 

“Are you gay?” she suddenly asked and I looked at her, dumbfounded. 

“That’s what you got out of all this?” 

“Sorry, I just didn’t think you were the type…” she trailed off, not wanting to finish and I wondered if that grossed her out. 

“I’m not even sure I am.” I shrugged. “It’s not like I ever think about guys and I’m still interested in women. Wesker was the only man I ever thought about like that and I’ve tried to forget about it ever since he betrayed us. But with this, I don’t know, maybe-” 

“Please don’t say that.” Claire cut in and when I looked at her, she looked afraid. I looked around as if there was some sort of danger around us but of course there was nothing. 

“Why?” 

“It makes it sound like you… just please, don’t say that.” I slowly nodded and we fell back to silence. I knew what she was going to say and I was grateful that she didn’t. If I thought admitting a crush was something to be stricken even from thought, that was forbidden territory never to exist even in the deepest bits of my subconscious. Yet… it was now there. “Chris-” 

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” I interrupted and she gave me a worried look. “But maybe you should try to talk to Jill about this stuff too, see if you can help her figure it out. Do me a favor though and don’t mention the… thing. I’ll tell her about that when I’m ready… even if that’s never.” I wasn’t about to say it again but luckily I didn’t have to because she nodded in understanding. 

“Alright.” was all she said but gave my arm a reassuring squeeze. “Everything will be okay and if you need anything, I’ll be there for you.” she promised with a smile that I returned. Even if this didn’t help me figure out my feelings, I was still glad we had this talk. 

“I know Claire, thank you.” I leaned in to kiss the top of her head. “Same to you. If you have a rough day at work or whatever, call and we can talk about it.” 

“Is that how you’re going to live for the month? Vicariously through others?” she joked and I laughed. 

“I thought we were trying to help me not be bored?” I shot back and her mouth gaped in offense before she punched my arm. She laughed with me and just like that everything was fine.

Chapter Text

It was a very busy day. The first was tomorrow, technically speaking it was at midnight tonight and we were still moving things in. All of the heavy lifting was finally done at least. There was a set up of standard furniture: a small dining table with two chairs, a large couch in the living room so I wouldn’t have to sit too close to Wesker if we were both sitting there, a coffee table in front of the couch, and all the major kitchen and laundry appliances were installed. Wesker’s cell was simple with a twin bed, a desk with a chair, and a dresser. My room was more comfortable and accommodating with a queen bed, a desk with a chair, a dresser, an armchair, a small tv stand for the tv we had yet to bring in, and a locked safe for my gun. Nothing had been stocked yet as that was my job since I would be the one living here and eating the food.

As we agreed, there were no microphones but there were cameras everywhere except for my bathroom though there was one in my bedroom upon my insistence. It was just another precautionary measure, I was able to turn it on and off depending on whether I felt like I needed it. They were all equipped with night vision and there would be around the clock surveillance of the monitors to keep an eye on the situation. The tech department was doing a final check on the cameras to make sure they all worked. So we all had to work around each other in the small prison as we hurried to get everything finished but we managed somehow. 

Both Jill and Claire went shopping with me for all the necessary items the prison would need using BSAA money which felt weird to me as I had only ever used the organization’s money for weapons and tactical gear. I had to remind myself that this too was a mission so this was all necessary. We ended up making three trips, three . The whole thing took way longer than it should have and I really regretted not going by myself. I would have gotten the basics and been back within a single trip. That was originally the plan but Claire wanted to make a day of it, something about the last time she would see me. It was a joke but something inside me winced. 

The first trip was for supplies for the kitchen, bathrooms, laundry room, and basic bedding for Wesker as I was bringing my own. I was tempted to get him something colorful which the girls thought was hilarious but I thought better of intentionally pissing him off so we figured something black was a safe bet. We dropped everything off at headquarters for someone else to take down so we didn’t have to go all that way just to leave again. 

The second trip was for food, plenty of it. The girls disapproved of some of the junk food I got but my dietary habits were fine and I had the body to prove it so they backed off. We all seemed to avoid the question of what Wesker would like though both Jill and I grabbed some items we remembered him liking back in STARS. Neither of us said anything or acknowledged that’s what we were doing because it fell under those mixed up feelings we shared. Again we dropped everything off for someone else to take down, asking that they put away the things that needed to be either frozen or refrigerated. 

The third trip was for personal needs and the things from my apartment that I was bringing. We stopped by my place first for my clothes, bedding, the small smart tv I hardly used, my laptop, and my favorite green coffee mug that said ‘built like a boulder’ on it. Then we went out to a few different stores to get various items including a few notebooks, a box of pens, and things the girls thought I should have to keep entertained. At some point Claire grabbed a child’s chemistry set and wouldn’t let me say no to it because she thought it was funny. I was sure there was another joke item they weren’t telling me about because they both got very quiet after running off while I was looking over something else. It seemed to be Jill’s idea since she was the one that paid for it and rushed it out to the car. She seemed proud of herself for it too and was trying to keep Claire acting casual. By this point I just wanted to be done so I didn’t even try to figure out what they had grabbed. Our last stop was managing to get all the books Wesker wanted. Some of them were old classics, some read more like textbooks, and some actually were textbooks. While we were in the bookstore, the girls threw in a few recommendations though I didn’t really read fiction. But I wasn’t in the mood to argue so they got me a few books I doubted I would pick up. After that we were finally on our way back to finish getting everything set up.  

Since the security system wasn’t yet turned on and she had already signed the form of secrecy, Claire was able to come down with us to help. By the time we arrived, everyone else had finished with what they were doing and were gone so it was just the three of us. We started in the kitchen, putting away the rest of the food before moving on to the small appliances, the pots and pans, and the dishes and utensils. We moved onto Wesker’s cell and we all hesitated at the door. He’d never been in here yet and already it was awkward and tense. I tried to shrug away the feeling of dread creeping over the edges of my senses. I cleared my throat to get the girls’ attention and smiled at them. 

“Why don’t you two get my stuff and start in my room?” I suggested and they both agreed with quick nods before going to do that. I took a deep breath and finally stepped through the threshold. I didn’t like being in here and the man wasn’t even here yet… I dreaded what it would feel like when he was here. As far as I knew they were planning on moving him in later tonight. I glanced at my watch, a few more hours at least and we were almost done so it was fine. Even if we didn’t finish in my room, I could just do it later. The important thing was to get this room finished so I would hopefully never have to come back in here again. I momentarily spaced out as I thought about the different situations that could arise that would force me back in here. I shook my head and took another breath so I could hurry and get this over with. There was no way for me to know what was going to happen so I would just have to deal with whatever came as it did. 

I started with the bathroom supplies leaving the toilet paper where it went, stocking the shower shelf with soap and shampoo, a small bottle of hand soap on the sink, and a tube of toothpaste along with a sealed toothbrush there as well. Then I made the bed, quickly getting the sheets and the pillow settled in a typical military style. Then I moved on to the clothes we were providing for Wesker, mostly just dark colored sweatpants and tshirts. Again he invaded my thoughts as I wondered how he would look in something so casual, especially since he wasn’t being allowed his sunglasses. I shook my head free of such thoughts again and tried focussing solely on what I was doing. The clothes were already folded so I just arranged them in the drawers of the dresser, again in a military fashion. If he didn’t like it then he could rearrange it himself. I wondered if he would rearrange anything in the room or just leave everything as it was. I set the books on top of the dresser and left the notebooks and pens on the desk. The last thing I did was leave a small metal trash can in the bathroom area. I did a quick sweep of the room to make sure I didn’t forget anything before finally leaving with a brisk pace. 

“Hey, how are my two favorite people coming along?” I called happily as I entered my own room for the next month, trying to hide the anxiety I was feeling. But of course they saw through it and gave me sympathetic smiles in return. 

“Well we got your clothes put away and your bed made.” Jill pointed out as she started pulling out my bathroom stuff from the bags. 

“And we set up your little entertainment toys.” Claire mentioned with a gesture to the top of the dresser. I looked over some of the stuff, seeing fidgeting toys and puzzles. I rolled my eyes, again thinking that I wouldn’t need such things but I was still grateful that they were thinking of me. “Let us know- well, I guess just Jill, if you need or want anything else.” Claire said as she started to check herself for her own belongings. 

“It’s only a month, I’ll be fine.” I reassured her with a questioning gaze. “Are you leaving?” 

“Yeah it’s getting late and I have to work in the morning.” she said as she hugged me and I hugged her back tightly. “I know you have to be up to come back here at midnight but try to get some sleep after that, okay?” she pleaded with me, still not pulling out of our embrace- not that I would let her go if she tried. I was trying to play this off like it was no big deal but it was a very big deal and I really didn’t want to do it. 

“I’ll try.” I told her though it was muffled in her shoulder. We stayed like that a moment longer before I finally told myself to let her go. 

“You can text or call me whenever.” she reminded me with a reassuring smile and I nodded as I thanked her. We said our goodbyes and she left. I heard Jill sigh and looked at her to see her rubbing her head. It’d been a long day for her too. 

“How are you holding up?” I asked as I moved to help her carry stuff into my bathroom and start putting everything away. 

“I’ve got a headache but I’m fine.” she told me and I could hear the tiredness creeping in her voice. I wanted to tell her to go home and try to sleep but I knew she wouldn’t listen, I wouldn’t either if she told me to do the same. So I dropped it and we continued to work. We finished in the bathroom and then got the tv hooked up. “Are you sure you’ll be okay alone with him?” she asked as she placed the trash can while I unpacked my laptop and set it up on the desk. 

“I don’t know Jill, it depends on what he’s really planning.” I answered truthfully while putting all the extra stuff in the small closet in my room. “But you’ll be watching over me so I’m sure I can handle him well enough until you arrive to back me up, partner.” she smiled at that and nodded. Though she had cleared all the physical tests, Jill was still on desk duty until she finished her required therapy so she volunteered to be the main overseer of this prison. We silently hugged to tell each other that everything would be fine. I was sure it was the longest hug we had shared but we’d both been through a lot recently and there was only more to come. When we did finally part, she handed me my mug with a small smile. 

“All set.” she said and I sighed as I looked down at my mug before putting it on the desk next to my laptop. I took my gun and it’s holster off of my belt and locked it in the safe before we left my room. I locked it behind us and we quickly cleaned up before heading for the exit. I looked over the prison again, trying not to think about how the next time I was in here I would be trapped with Wesker for a full month. I only had a few hours left. “Come on, let’s go get a stiff drink.” Jill nudged me and I liked the sound of that so I gladly left with her.

Chapter Text

Though I was expecting the feeling of doom that weighed down on me as soon as that door clicked shut and all the locks engaged, the tension still suffocated me and I choked on my nerves. I was officially trapped in here with Wesker for the next month. A full thirty days of just the two of us. All of my doubts about this whole thing came rushing to the forefront of my mind but I knew right from the start that there was no other option. I took a deep breath and looked again at the door I had just walked through before looking around the shared prison. I just was now realizing that I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing here. Did I keep to myself in my room, avoiding Wesker at all costs? Did I keep an eye on Wesker? Where was he anyway? I had expected the man to greet me in some way like he always did with that smug smirk on his lips. But he wasn’t anywhere to be seen though he’d been brought in a few hours ago. It was late, exactly midnight as it started the first day, maybe he was asleep. Did he even sleep? Should I go check on what he was doing or should I just go to my room and pretend I wasn’t nervous and could still sleep without thinking about where I was? 

I stood there by the front door thinking about what to do a lot longer than I would like to admit but the whole atmosphere was so filled with heavy tension and dread that it was hard for me to move. I was suddenly questioning whether I would last a whole month here… but I had to because so many lives were at stake. 

“Are you going to stand there all night?” Wesker’s voice called from his cell and I glared in that direction. His light was off but he obviously wasn’t asleep and I wondered briefly if he was watching me though I couldn’t see him from where I stood. I huffed and my anger was enough to get me to his cell to close and lock the door. There was something satisfying about locking him in and I was grateful I got to do whenever I wanted. I then went to my room, unlocked my bedroom door using the key in my pocket, and locked it again once I was inside. I let out a nervous breath and went to lay on my bed. I laid there and thought about my situation for a long time. Dozens of questions flitted around my mind but one burned more than the rest. Why is this what he wanted? Maybe I could try to get some questions out of him later. For now, though I knew I wouldn’t be able to, I tried to sleep. 

… … … 

I must have dozed off at some point because I woke up. I sat up and rubbed at my eyes tiredly as I looked around my darkened surroundings. I didn’t feel at all rested and I blamed that on my current living arrangement… with Wesker. I still didn’t understand what that insane bastard was thinking or what he wanted but I finally decided I wouldn’t care about that anymore. He had been right back in the hospital, I wasn’t going to get the answer so why fret over it so much? I didn’t like admitting he was right about anything, it left a sour taste in my mouth but honestly he was right more often than not about a lot of things. 

I got out of bed and made my way out of my room, glancing over to Wesker’s cell when I noticed a little bit of light coming from the bottom of the door. He was awake but I didn’t want to deal with him right now so I went about getting some coffee going. I left it to run as I went back to my room to take a quick shower. I locked my bedroom door again and checked to make sure the camera was off before undressing and entering my bathroom, locking that door too, and getting into the shower. 

Once I was back in the kitchen area, I poured myself a cup of coffee and made it how I liked before taking it with me to the couch. I sat and watched Wesker’s door like it was the man himself. I didn’t want to unlock his door and let him out but I knew eventually I would have to. Still, I took my time drinking my coffee before pouring myself another cup. I stared at the remaining coffee in the pot for a moment before dumping it down the sink. I wasn’t about to have it thought that I left some for Wesker- if he even still drank coffee. I sat back down on the couch and continued to stare at the door. He didn’t deserve to come out, he didn’t deserve the comfort he was being given here because of the deal. It only made it worse that I was the one who inevitably agreed to said deal. But I had to- so much more was at stake. Maybe this was part of his plan, to get me filled with so much guilt about having to treat him nicely that I hated myself and he got to watch my misery. Now that made some sense but it wasn’t something he would go to these lengths for. No, something bigger was going on here. 

With no windows, it was impossible to guess the time but my watch read near three in the afternoon. Maybe Wesker was hungry by now. Did he even eat? With a deep sigh, I finally stood from the couch and made my way over to Wesker’s door. I listened in but couldn’t really hear anything so I unlocked the door and thought about leaving it like that but I opened it too. Nothing had changed from when I was in there yesterday though the bed was made differently and the dresser was moved a bit closer to the bed. Wesker was sitting at the desk scribbling away in one of the notebooks. I looked him over in the dark sweatpants and tshirt that had been provided to him and though he didn’t have any gel, his hair was still slicked back perfectly. That actually annoyed me that he still seemed so damn professional even like this. I guess some part of my mind was hoping to catch him unraveled and I thought being locked up without any say in anything was sure to do it. At least the sunglasses were gone. 

“You don’t have to remain in the doorway Chris, you’re welcome to come in.” he stated without acknowledging me in any other way. I folded my arms a bit defensively as best I could with my mug still in one hand. 

“I know.” I said as strongly as I could but even though it was Wesker and this was supposed to be a prison for him, it still felt wrong to just barge in. And I still didn’t want to go into the room, I was right about it being worse with Wesker actually present. 

“Was there something you needed?” Wesker spoke again before he turned to look at me, those slitted red and yellow eyes staring at me. I didn’t even realize I had been staring at him for so long and cleared my throat to rid myself of the wave of embarrassment trying to hit me. 

“There are some rules we need to go over.” I stated sternly but he only returned to his writing as if he had lost interest in the conversation. Was he expecting me to say something else? 

“I’m not to harm you nor try to escape, I’m not to attempt to enter your room or touch any of your belongings, and my door is to remain open unless you close it.” he answered, sounding rather bored. “You have the right to go over anything I write in these journals or search me and my room at any given time. No doubt you have a firearm tucked away and can use it on me if you ever feel threatened. Additionally you’re allowed to restrict my comfort as much as you see fit for whatever reason.” he finished and shot me a dangerous look over his shoulder. “Though I wouldn’t recommend that if you wish for me to remain civil.” I glared right back at him for the threat. 

“Don’t give me any reason to think you’re being anything but civil or I will.” I shot back and we glared at each other for a moment before he turned back to his work. Obviously there was more but that covered the main basics so I knew someone had already gone over everything with him beforehand. After another minute of watching his hand move, I sighed and leaned against the doorframe. “What are you so busy working on anyway?” I didn’t expect him to answer but we both knew I could walk over there and read it right now if I wanted to. He stopped and seemed to think about this for a moment before looking back at me. 

“I asked for these with the intention of having you read them, however I only ask that you wait until each is finished.” he informed me, surprisingly sincere. I only nodded my agreement and he went back to it. I stood there a bit longer before clearing my throat again but Wesker didn’t acknowledge me this time. 

“Jill wanted to say thank you.” he only hummed in response so I turned and walked across the living room to my own bedroom, locking the door behind me. I got onto my laptop to try to find something to distract me from my current situation but there was nothing to do so I ended up closing my laptop and moved to the armchair. I turned on the tv to find something to watch but it was just background noise. When I realized I was still thinking too much about things, I turned the tv off and threw myself back in bed. I needed something to focus on. I wished I could do some work. I was tempted to text Jill but I didn’t want to seem like I was succumbing to my nerves already, it was still only the first day. 

… … … 

I ended up in my armchair with the tv on again and that’s where I was for the rest of the day until I finally decided to call it a night. I left my room and went to Wesker’s cell, peeking in at first to find him back at his desk writing. Without bothering him I started to close the door. 

“Chris.” he called so I stopped and peered back in. 

“What?” I watched as he flipped through his notebook to find a certain page before he tore it and the two behind it out. He turned in his seat and looked me directly in the eye as he held them out for me. 

“We can discuss it in the morning if you wish.” he said calmly but there was a certain intensity in his gaze that almost intimidated me. I don’t mean that he was scary, that was an entirely different type of look, but it was serious in a way I had never seen from him before. If it was anyone else I might say it was a look of desperation. It was unnerving and I was suddenly nervous about taking the pages from him. But he continued to stare at me like this was something important. So I very carefully stepped into his cell and slowly accepted the papers. 

I didn’t know what to say so I didn’t say anything. I backed out of the cell, shut the door, locked it, stood there for a moment to collect myself, and locked myself back in my room. I placed the papers from Wesker onto my desk and stared at them for a few long minutes before I finally decided to just get it over with. I sat in my chair and started reading what these three pages contained. 

It was titled ‘Project W’ and the more I got into it, I realized they were memories and information concerning the title though it read more like a report. I had read plenty of his reports back in STARS and while they lacked personality, they were very informative. These were no different but they weren’t about some case we had finished, it was his life. That’s why he seemed so serious about it. 

Albert Wesker just handed me a secret of his life. 

~~~ 

Project W 

When I finally discovered Spencer’s whereabouts, I took my time killing his guards as I progressed through his final mansion. I wanted him to know I was coming, I wanted him to quake in fear as he realized he was going to die. What I hadn’t expected was for him to reveal the purpose behind my life. Nor did I anticipate him seeming so delighted with how I turned out. I was hollow as he described to me how I was selected for his new race of humans, furious to learn my entire existence had been manufactured. 

He spoke of his new race and his delusions, appalling me with the idea we were meant to ascend him into godhood. I looked upon his frail body and found the notion of him being a god laughable. How could he expect to create beings above himself and expect them to follow one as low as himself? Only one truly capable of being of god deserves that right. He was arrogant and weak, unlike the beings he sought to create, and only I remained of hundreds of Wesker children. I was more than capable and deserving so I would claim that right along with his life. 

I took a great deal of pleasure in killing him. A sense of relief just before my hand plunged through his chest. I felt the life leave him, felt the last beats of his old heart against my arm. Disgust is what I felt for the old fool that had programmed me to seek him out but in killing him, I discovered I no longer felt the pull. I had broken free of the mold I had been forged in. He never expected that one of his prodigal children would turn on him, much less kill him. I considered his death to be my first action that I knew for sure was of my own will. And it felt so gratifying. 

I hadn’t anticipated the BSAA arriving so soon but I was pleased to see it was Chris who had come. It was obvious they hadn’t expected to find me there but Spencer was mine to deal with. I rather enjoyed our fight, as I commonly did but somehow it felt different. I still had much to contemplate and this was just a distraction though it evidently led to the realization I have since faced and accepted. 

I was to kill Chris, poised to take his life in much the same fashion as I took Spencer’s. But I hesitated. I didn’t feel the same need to end him as I had the old man, in fact I found the idea of his existence no longer being present in the world rather distasteful. I watched him struggle and look away as he prepared himself but he wasn’t afraid. He never was. If I were a god, why did he hunt me without fear? One does not hunt a god and a god does not enjoy being hunted. 

If I was a god who chose whether he lived or died in my world, I would rather he live to continue his hunt. I looked forward to our next encounter. 

My arm lowered just before Jill was suddenly in my peripheral vision, I had been so distracted by Chris I had neglected to check on her recovery. It was too late for me to evade but I at least was able to release Chris so he was not taken down with us. It was a small victory but, somehow, still a victory nonetheless. 

She held onto me for the entirety of the fall though she never screamed out in fear, already resigned to what was to become of her. I took most of the landing force, the damage was extensive but it wasn’t long before I healed enough to move. Jill was still alive, barely, but she was there. Resilient as ever. I did always respect that about my hunters and I believe I had pushed them to become such good soldiers. I was proud even if it was my head they sought. 

If I was a god who chose whether she lived or died in my world, she would live and continue to amaze me with her persistence. So live she shall. 

I am above human, that much I still know to be true, but a god? I chose to spare Jill because letting her die and never seeing how she continued to grow didn’t seem as amusing. I didn’t choose to spare Chris, I found I was rather incapable of killing him. I simply did not want him to die and I can not explain the purpose for such a conclusion but it is one I’ve come to accept.

Chapter Text

The night crept by me slowly and I barely managed to get a bit of a nap. I was so tired but my mind was too active to allow me any peace. There’s been too much going on, too much to think about. I was so tired, I just wanted to stop thinking. I wished for my brain to reach critical and shut down again but it wouldn’t. I thought about asking if I could get a special delivery of some form of sleeping aid but figured maybe that wasn’t a good idea. I just needed a little more time to adapt to this and I would be fine. 

I groaned and sat up in bed, not accustomed to lazing around all day. I glared at my surroundings as I came to the realization that I once again had nothing to do today. I was so used to a routine and so much work to be done or a mission to set off on but here, there was absolutely nothing to do and it was already driving me nuts. There was the matter of that letter to address but that was a load I hadn’t finished sifting through last night and I really wasn’t in the mood to continue. 

I decided on a quick workout in my room and a shower. I went to make coffee but stopped at the last second and decided on a bottle of water from the fridge instead, figuring I didn’t need to give my body another reason to stay up. Was I actually hoping for a nap? Not really but I was already exhausted and anxious, I didn’t need to add onto that. While I was in the kitchen, my stomach ached and I tried to think back to the last time I ate though I wasn’t able to recall. I searched through all the food and though there was plenty to eat and I liked most of it, I just didn’t have an appetite so I decided I could wait a little longer. 

About to head back to my room, I glanced over to Wesker’s cell door and decided to let him out in case I wasn’t back out for the rest of the day. Once I unlocked and opened his door, his eyes turned to me expectantly from his bed. I was momentarily confused before remembering he said we could talk in the morning if I wanted to. Maybe he thought that’s what I was here for. I did want to, just not now, I was too exhausted. To show this without having to speak to him, I simply turned to walk away. 

“Chris.” he called after me so I stopped with a sigh and turned back to face him as he sat up in bed. “Did you not want to discuss my letter?” he asked almost hesitantly and I rubbed at my eyes in annoyance. Usually he was so good at picking up on every little thing and I was sure he got the message so why was he second guessing it? 

“Maybe later.” I started to turn but was again stopped. 

“May I have it back then?” he looked a little more stern like I wasn’t allowed to refuse. 

“Fine, whatever.” I snapped, not in the mood for his intimidation tactics. They didn’t work on a normal day and being in a bad mood meant that all it did was piss me off more. I was finally allowed to turn around and head back to my room though I heard his footsteps on the hardwood floor following me. I groaned in irritation but decided it was fine since it saved me a trip back to his cell. I unlocked my door and stepped in, looking back to make sure he stopped at the door which he did. He glanced in and looked around a bit as I grabbed the papers from my desk, walking back over to hand them to the blond. He took them and made sure all three pages were there as if I would try to keep any of them and I rolled my eyes. 

“Have you gotten any sleep?” he asked before I could shut the door and I glared at him for continuing to interact with me. Even if I had gotten sleep, I still didn’t want to interact with him right now so being in a shit mood was definitely not helping. 

“No.” I growled, hoping that would be the end of it. 

“Have you eaten?” 

“Don’t interrogate me!” I shouted before slamming my door in his face and locking it. I was glad that he didn’t try to talk to me through the door so I threw myself into bed. I just wanted to be left alone but of course that’s when he chooses to play mother hen. As if he actually cared. He probably saw it was the best way to piss me off more right now and wanted to mess with me, as per usual. And it was working. 

… … … 

I was lucky that sleep did find me, though not enough as I was still tired when I woke up. I didn’t feel as irritable though so that was good. Instead of getting up, I rolled over and closed my eyes again. It’s not like I had a reason to get up so maybe it would be fine to be lazy for now. But then panic arose in my chest when I realized I smelled smoke and something burning. I shot out of bed, taking a moment to retrieve my gun from the safe before rushing out of my room. Wesker was in the kitchen standing by the stove and I raised my gun to him. 

“Wesker!” I shouted as he turned to see me though he didn’t appear to be worried. 

“Chris.” he greeted casually before turning back to what he was doing. I could see now that he had something in a pan which was on fire and he held it up to the vent above the stove. Was he trying to cook and set the poor food on fire? Though I’d never actually seen the man cook before, it was hard to imagine that he could fail so spectacularly at anything. I stepped closer without lowering my gun. 

“What are you doing?” I asked carefully as I tried to peer up at what was in the pan but it was raised too high for me to see. 

“Burning the letter I gave to you last night.” he answered simply and I let out a tense breath as I finally let my gun drop to my side. He wasn’t trying to set the prison on fire or anything so I could handle this without it. 

“Why?” my voice was still tired and maybe I spoke too soon about no longer being grumpy, that or Wesker was bringing it on again. 

“Nothing of what I give to you will survive.” he looked at me with a smirk. “Best get used to this.” given the nature of his letters, I could see why he would want to destroy them so I tried to put it out of mind. Still I was sure he was enjoying the panic it put me in. I sighed again and tucked my weapon into the waistline of the front of my pants so it would be less accessible to Wesker just in case. 

“I have a lighter and there’s a metal trash can in your cell.” I told him. “Instead of ruining the new pans, how about you ask me if there’s another way first?” I stepped up to him, accidentally brushing shoulders with him as I reached up to snatch the pan from him. I turned on the water in the sink and put out the fire before brushing away the tiny remnants of the paper before cleaning the pan. I heard a click and figured Wesker had turned off the stove. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him lean back against the counter and fold his arms. He was watching me. “So do you want to talk about it now?” 

“I was under the impression you didn’t want to.” he was messing with me again so I rolled my eyes with an irritated huff. 

“You know I was tired and in a bad mood.” I corrected him. “I said later and it’s later.” 

“Very well. Where would you like to start?” 

“I already know about Project W, there was plenty of information about it scattered around the mansion.” I finished with the pan and grabbed a paper towel to dry it off. 

“Do you pity me?” he asked and I looked at him like he had just grown a second head. 

“No.” I stated harshly. “What happened to you when you were young doesn’t justify anything you did.” the pan was dry so I put it away and threw the paper towel in the trash. “But it did fill in some gaps.” I removed my gun from its temporary spot, wordlessly walked back to my room to put it away, returned to the kitchen to see Wesker hadn’t moved, and mimicked his stance to get comfortable. “I don’t think you’re a god.” I continued as I shook my head. “You’re an egotistical superhuman, that’s for sure, but you being a god sounds like something that came out of a comic book.” I couldn’t help but chuckle which seemed to sour Wesker’s mood slightly as he was now glaring at me. I cleared my throat and got back on topic. “I think I picked up that you decided you aren’t a god either…” I trailed off in question and with a sigh that bordered on regret, the blond nodded. “I’m glad.” I said with a subtle nod of my own. I glanced at him to see he had a brow raised and realized what I just said. “I mean, if you thought you were some kind of god, it would be more trouble for the rest of the world. Who knows what you would do?” I rushed to explain and he seemed to think about it, bringing a hand to his chin as he looked at the ground. 

“Spencer spoke of creating a new world of a more worthy race. Perhaps I could have done so myself to prove I was the worthy god.” he stated and I frowned as something in my chest ached at his admission. 

“And you said killing Spencer was your first act of free will. Even if you were the god instead of him, how would making his vision a reality be your will?” I asked softly and his inhuman eyes snapped to mine with a look as if I had solved some impossible problem he had been working on. I looked away as I scratched the back of my neck. I didn’t want him to call me out on the sadness I spoke with or the fact that it made it sound like I cared about what he did with his newfound free will so I continued talking. “Anyway, I also just wanted to say… thanks… again, I guess.” I stood straighter. “I’m sure you’re probably just bullshitting about sparing me back then but you did save Jill.” he didn’t say anything so I cleared my throat and took an awkward breath. “I’m going back to my room now.” he simply nodded and let me go. He continued to stand there as I made my way back to my room, still thinking over what I had said though I didn’t fully understand what that impossible problem of his was. 

I laid back in bed though I was far too awake now and my mind was back at it. Honestly when I read the implication that he didn’t want to kill me back in the mansion, I instantly called bullshit. But then I started thinking back on our past encounters and all the times he definitely could have killed me but didn’t, always seeming more interested in messing with me instead. Sure I tried my best not to make it easy for him but there were no doubt plenty of opportunities for him to just end me before I even realized he was there. Like on Rockford Island when I went to rescue Claire, I didn’t even know for sure that he was still alive. He appeared behind me in a room and called out to me when he could have just shot me in the back of the head and been done with it. Or even as far back as the original betrayal, he had his gun pointed at me and it was part of his mission to kill me but instead he wanted to do his little show and tell thing. At the time I wrote it off as him wanting to test the creation he was so proud of, especially after the offended glare he set on me when I laughed at him over it. But I wasn’t the only one there to test it on, he used Barry, locked Jill up, and even shot Rebecca when they all could have been put against it too. I was the last one to face him yet I was the one he chose to reveal it to, he even said he was proud of me. So that begged the question… why me? 

My head was hurting again so I decided to leave it at that for now. I got up to turn on the tv though I continued to lay in bed. I was only idly watching whatever was on, gratefully that my mind was finally slipping into a hazy zone between consciousness and sleep as I spaced out. Perhaps I was finally going critical and would be able to get some real sleep. Then there was a knock at my door. I groaned loudly but didn’t move, my hatred for Wesker suddenly intensifying. It was like he knew I was finally calming down and purposefully came to interrupt. He better hope he just has the worst timing. 

“I’ll leave these here.” Wesker’s voice called through the door before there was nothing. Guess he was giving me another letter. I tried to ignore it for now, telling myself I would read it later. I tried… and failed. Curiosity won out and I got up to retrieve them, unlocking and opening my door to find a few torn out pages at my feet. I picked them up and looked around for Wesker but didn’t see him. From my door I could see into his cell, I could see his bathroom and the dresser and part of the bed but not the desk so that’s where I assumed he was. It was still early but I didn’t think I would be back out so I went to lock him in for the night. “Chris.” I peeked in to find that he was indeed at his desk writing again. “You really should eat something.” he advised without looking at me. I sighed at his repetition. 

“What about you? I haven’t seen you eat since you’ve been here.” I retorted but he still didn’t turn. 

“I don’t require sustenance as often as you do.” he informed me and I huffed before shutting and locking his door. Despite wanting to ignore him, now that he mentioned food my stomach was hurting again. It really had been some time since I had anything to eat. I went rummaging through the food again but found that I was still lacking an appetite. Before long I was heading back to my room with a bag of chips. I swore to myself that I would eat a real meal tomorrow… at the very least, I’d make some toast and maybe some eggs. 

I sat in bed with my chips, a new water bottle, and Wesker’s letter. This one had ‘Jill’s Birthday’ written at the top and I think I knew what it was going to be about. Jill had split up with another boyfriend just shy of her birthday and she was feeling pretty down. She didn’t even want to do anything for her special day, being her best friend, I couldn’t allow that. So I got the team together to throw her a massive party at the office since our local cop bar would probably be too crowded to do it there. I had to plead with Wesker all week to allow it which was a whole process of slowly breaking him down by never letting up even when he finally yelled at me. I almost laughed at the memory because I had never seen the man look so utterly defeated by the time he finally agreed. 

~~~ 

Jill's Birthday 

There was a hurried knock on my door and I called for whoever it was to come in. Looking up from my work, I watched my pointman rush in as he looked around behind him before closing the door. I raised a brow at this but waited for the young man to approach my desk and tell me what was going on. 

“Okay don’t say no but-” 

“No.” I cut him off in irritation before turning back to the report on my desk. No doubt Chris was up to some scheme again and wanted my approval to do something reckless. The first time I had blindly granted him permission to anything, he wanted access to the roof. I figured he just wanted somewhere to smoke that was more to himself only to later discover that he, Joseph, and Forest had been dropping water balloons onto unsuspecting pedestrians. I learned better than to make assumptions about his motives behind anything after that. Whenever he approached me with a request, I had to factor in many different things before I eventually found a pattern in his shenanigans. He was at least efficient when there was work to be done so I found I could trust something he needed more during busy times. However, if we had a lull in cases and not much to do, he got bored and found annoying ways to entertain himself. This was such a time so I knew better than to play into his tomfoolery. 

“But Captain-”

“I’m sure there is some extra work I can find for you if you’re feeling bored Chris.” I interrupted his whining. “I still have plenty of work to do so I’m in no mood to listen to your whims. Now, if you would.” I gestured behind him to the door which he spared a glance at before his eyes found mine again as he shook his head. 

“No, no, I’ve still got work.” he quickly corrected me and I raised my brow. “Jill’s birthday is next week and she’s feeling pretty down about some stuff.” he explained and I sighed as I folded my arms and leaned back in my chair. He was going to talk whether I wanted to listen or not. “I want to throw a big party for her to cheer her up but the bar is too small and none of our places would be good for it.” Chris wore a sheepish look though he smiled innocently. 

“You want me to approve the use of the office for this party.” it was a statement, not a question. 

“Yes.” his smile widened. 

“No.” I told him again and took a small amount of joy in the way he deflated. 

“But it’s Jill’s birthday.” he argued weakly. 

“I have no intention of allowing you all to wreck our workspace.” my team was tactical and professional on the job but after hours, they all seemed to change. I always found it best to avoid their get togethers to avoid a headache. 

“We won’t.” the younger man tried to reassure me but I was no fool. 

“There will be alcohol, yes?” 

“Well, yeah, I mean it’s a birthday party and we’re all adults.” he scratched at his neck, seeming to know where this was going. 

“Who’s going to be responsible for supervising you lot when you’re reduced to staggering children? And don’t say you will as we’ve been down that road before.” 

“Barry.” it was a readied answer. 

“Has he agreed to that?” knowing the man my own age liked to be more involved in such occasions, I found it difficult to believe he would be any better at supervising than any of the others. Even if he likely would be more sober as he had a family to go home to, he enjoyed the ‘American pastime’ of destroying things more than I was comfortable with. There was an incident with a can of first aid spray and a lighter… we don’t speak of it. 

“I’ll talk to him.” Chris was too hesitant on that answer so I knew he was second guessing his choice as well. 

“My answer is still no.” 

“Come on, don’t be like that.” he pouted. “I’m just trying to help Jill out.” 

“No Chris, that’s final. Have your party elsewhere.” I stated with authority and the brunet visibly slouched. “Now get back to work.” I told him as I got back to it myself. 

“What if-” 

“Goodbye Redfield.” he huffed in disappointment and left my office. 

I thought that would be the end of it but I was sorely mistaken. The next day after I returned from running an errand, there was a cup of coffee sitting on my desk with a sticky note attached to it. ‘Saturday night?’ I exhaled heavily and tossed the note away. I still drank the coffee, attaching a new note that simply read ‘NO’ before leaving the empty cup on his desk as I happened to be passing. I heard him groan as I walked away, finding some amusement in that. 

Each day was something new accompanied by his persistent pleading. Whether he challenged me at the shooting range, attempted to bribe me, or simply annoyed me into giving in. He picked a rather bad moment later in the week because I had just left a meeting with Chief Irons and the repulsive man had me in a foul mood. After Chris had brought the subject up once more, I yelled at him and even threatened his job if he so much as spoke another word. He left immediately. I almost felt regretful until he dared to step into my office again about an hour later with a fresh cup of coffee and a donut. 

“Chris.” my voice was a low warning as I held my head in my hand. Why wouldn’t he just give up already? 

“I’m not here for that, promise.” he spoke quickly as he sat in the chair on the other side of my desk, placing the items he carried onto the surface. “I wanted to apologize. I should’ve been more considerate and not pushed so hard.” I stared at him with an accusing gaze as he fidgeted in his seat but said no more. I sighed and accepted the coffee though I made no move for the treat as I wasn’t inclined to sweets. 

“You’re stubborn, especially when it concerns those you care about. I already knew this about you.” I said as I sipped the hot drink. 

“Yeah, you say it’s one of my bad traits.” Chris chuckled lightly to himself as he scratched at his neck, an all too obvious nervous habit. 

“Not always.” I corrected and he looked at me in confusion. “Stubbornness can be viewed as determination and that’s one of your best qualities.” he only seemed more confused. 

“So then is pestering you about the party a… good or bad thing?” I sighed deeply again at his mention and placed my head onto the cool surface of my desk where there weren’t papers in the way. 

“Chris if I say yes to your party idea, will you leave me alone about it forever?” now I was the one pleading which really seemed to brighten his day, though I’m sure only due to my affirmative answer and not out of malice. I didn’t hear a response from him so I lifted my head to see he was nodding happily. 

“Um- I mean, yes sir, you won’t hear another peep outta me!” he smiled broadly and saluted me as he stood. 

“Dismissed.” I waved him away before rubbing at my temples. He left me, possibly to start- or more likely to finish planning with the others. 

Of course I ended up attending the party Saturday night along with the whole of STARS to be the watchful eye. Chris lured Jill in with false information about a case. When the pair walked into the darkened office, Chris flipped on the light and everyone shouted ‘happy birthday’. I remained in the corner of the room and kept to myself. Jill was shocked and happy, hugging everyone in thanks though shook my hand. After a few drinks she was bold enough to tease Chris about what he had to do to get me to agree to this. The man’s face went red and his gaze turned to me sharply before quickly returning to glare at her, his lips moving in some lecture I couldn’t make ou. It brought a playful smirk to my face at least. 

I must say that the whole night went rather smoothly, I only had to intervene on a few dangerous bets and stop Joseph from smashing his computer as he yelled ‘fuck the system’. I was tempted to force the party to an early close after that but Chris found his way to my side and gently nudged me with his arm. 

“Thank you for letting us do this. Jill seems much happier now.” he smiled in the woman’s direction who was laughing over something with Barry and Richard. I had learned over the week that my lockpick had broken it off with her boyfriend which was why she was upset. Though I hadn’t actually noticed, I was glad to see her enjoying herself. 

“Yes, I hear heartbreak can be rather stressful.” I spoke coldly, remembering William’s beginning attempts at courting an uninterested Annette. 

“You’ve never been in love?” Chris asked and I scoffed. 

“No. I don’t have time for such nonsense.” I stated which seemed to give the younger man some thought. Jill called for the marksman’s attention and he motioned to her that he would be there in a moment. 

“Well maybe you just haven’t found the right person yet.” he moved so he was standing in front of me, lifting himself just slightly to press his lips to my cheek. It was quick and reeked of booze but his face was redder than it had been a moment ago. “Maybe someday you’ll change your mind.” he turned and joined up with Jill and the others after that. I stared at him for a while after that in utter astonishment. Me? In love? I had better things to do with my time than waste it on another person. But it didn’t feel so bad with him at my side.

Chapter Text

First thing in the morning, I was feeling a little better than I had the previous nights. It wasn’t a significant change but it was enough that I noticed it. It was enough to give me the energy to get through a workout and a shower. I unlocked and opened Wesker’s door, it was early and he was still laying in bed so I left him there. As I promised myself, I made some toast and coffee but I still dumped the rest of the pot after I decided I only wanted the one cup. It was honestly an afterthought but I still wasn’t ready to leave him anything. 

After that, it was back to my room. Reading Wesker’s letter last night got me thinking about more of the smaller things that got buried in my memories. They were good memories- like that water balloon thing! Oh Wesker and Marini were pissed at all of us! The three of us agreed it was worth it though. We used to get into so much trouble together. I sighed as I was faced with the realization that I was the only one left alive. I wondered what the rest of my old colleagues would be like now if they had survived that awful night. Then the bad memories returned. 

I shook my head and tried to stop thinking about it- trying to think about literally anything else. I thought of Jill and I wondered how her therapy was going. It was day three of this imprisonment with Wesker, it wasn’t a point of pride anymore to tough it out on my own- I wanted to talk to my friends. So I pulled out my phone and texted Jill. 

Chris: Alright I give
Chris: I’m bored
Jill: Told you
Chris: Do you like your therapist
Jill: She’s okay
Jill: We’ve only had the one meeting so far
Chris: I’m sure everything will go great
Jill: Even if it doesn’t I still have to do it
Chris: It’s the best thing for you Jill
Jill: Yeah I know
Jill: It’s not my first time having to do this
Chris: We’ve all been there
Jill: So what are you up to right now
Chris: Are you on cameras
Jill: Yeah 

Instead of answering, I reached over to press the button near my bed. Once I saw the red light come on, I waved at the camera. 

Jill: No wonder you’re bored
Chris: Yeah I know
Chris: I need something to focus on
Jill: You have a tv
Chris: Nothing good to watch
Jill: Have you even checked the streaming services on it
Chris: Sorta
Jill: There’s bound to be something you’ll like
Chris: I can’t just sit still and watch tv like this
Jill: Okay
Jill: I wanted to wait until you found it on your own but now is fine too I guess
Chris: What are you talking about
Jill: I got you something
Jill: I left it for you in your underwear drawer 

I glanced up at the camera with a suspicious look before getting up to find out what it was. I was sure it must be that joke item she had seemed so proud of. Why did I have a bad feeling about this? I pulled open the top drawer and checked under the clothes to find a long black cylinder. Confused, I picked it up and turned it over to see one side had a pinkish mouth on it. It was a god damn fleshlight! My face instantly started to burn and I dropped it before slamming the drawer shut. My glare turned to the camera so sharply it hurt my neck. I’m sure my face was bright red and I knew Jill was laughing at me. I dashed to turn off the camera and called her. She answered, still laughing. 

“That’s not funny! Why the hell did you leave that here?” she was laughing too hard to answer me. “You know I can’t get rid of it now!” now it suddenly made sense why Claire couldn’t look me in the eye when they came back which meant that she knew I had this! I’d never be able to face her again! 

“Okay- okay.” she started as she tried to calm herself down. “I don’t want you to get rid of it.” she stated when she was able to speak a full sentence. “It’s not a joke- I was expecting this funny reaction from you but I’m serious.” she took another breath to fully calm herself. “It’ll help to alleviate some of the anxiety and take your mind off things.” I already knew that sexual release helped to reduce stress but given where I was, masturbating was the farthest thing from my mind. 

“I know that…” I trailed off, suddenly remembering that Wesker was in the other room and had probably heard me yelling. The last thing I wanted him to hear was me talking to Jill about this kind of stuff. The horrifying thought entered my mind about what would happen if he found out I had this. I quickly pushed those thoughts as far away as I could, he wasn’t allowed in my room and there was no way that thing was ever going to leave my drawer again. “Did you really have to let Claire see it?” I asked with a lowered voice. 

“He looked up for a minute when you started yelling but he’s back to writing, don’t worry.” Jill informed me. 

“He’s got superhuman senses.” I reminded her and I could imagine her waving a dismissive hand as she ignored it. 

“Claire’s an adult, she understands that you’re a human that masturbates and has sex.” she told me like it was common knowledge and totally fine. My face wasn’t cooling down at all and the heat bubbled in my stomach which made me feel a little nauseous. We sometimes talked about our sex lives- or rather the lack thereof so it’s not like this came out of the blue or was forbidden territory. Though we had only ever talked about certain things, I didn’t feel like this was crossing a line. It was just unexpected and embarrassing. 

“She might understand that but I’m her big brother, she’s not supposed to know .” I retorted and Jill sighed on the other line. 

“Alright, I’m sorry. Next time I’ll be sure to buy you sex toys when she’s not around.” she teased and I blushed harder. 

“Don’t buy this kind of stuff for me ever again.” I growled quietly. 

“Don’t worry, I won’t. This is just a special circumstance because I knew you wouldn’t have even thought about it.” she assured me and I took a deep breath. She was right, I wouldn’t and if she had told me her plan I wouldn’t have allowed it to enter the prison. She was just looking out for me but seriously, look at where I was. 

“Do you really think I’m ever gonna be in the mood?” I questioned through a heavy sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose. 

“You have access to the internet.” I hung up after she said that, still blushing fiercely. As much as I didn’t want to leave my room yet, I didn’t want to be in here with that thing or to give Jill the idea that I was actually using it. So I left my room, grabbing my coffee mug on my way but when I got to the coffee pot and remembered that I dumped the rest out, I growled to myself and left my empty cup on the counter. I pretended to look through the freezer in case Wesker was watching but really I just wanted the cold air on my heated face. My phone buzzed in my pocket so I checked it for something to do. 

Jill: Have fun 

Just as my face was beginning to cool down, the blood rushed back to my cheeks. I turned to one of the cameras and flipped it off. I’m sure she was laughing at me again but I didn’t care. I caught Wesker’s smirk from his doorway, not realizing that he had even gotten up from his desk. I wanted to glare at him like this was all his fault but he had already seen enough of my blushing face so I quickly turned away. I refused to run back to my room and hide so I sat on the couch with my head down until I felt like I was a normal temperature again. I wasn’t really mad at Jill, again she was just looking out for me. Embarrassing situations just often led to anger like responses from me because I didn’t like being embarrassed- who did? 

I could hear Wesker moving around the kitchen and then the coffee pot was running but I didn’t look up to watch him yet. I felt a little spark of joy like I had won something because he had to make a new pot of coffee. It was petty, spiteful, and stupid but it was there nonetheless. After a few minutes Wesker approached the couch, I could see his legs stop right in front of me on the other side of the coffee table. I refused to look up. My face had cooled down but I just didn’t want to deal with him. He leaned over slightly to place my coffee mug down in front of me with fresh coffee in it. He walked away without saying anything and I finally lifted my head to watch as he walked back into his cell with a generic white mug in hand. He grabbed one of the books from the dresser and sat comfortably on his bed before he opened the book to read. After taking a sip of coffee, he placed it on top of the dresser to give the book his full attention. That explains why he inched the dresser closer to the bed. 

My gaze turned up to a camera as if I would be able to see Jill and convey my guilty feeling to her. I kinda felt like an asshole for being so petty now. I slowly reached for the hot drink and raised it to my lips to take a sip, careful not to burn myself. It was just how I used to like it back in STARS… he remembered how I liked my coffee from all those years ago. My tastes had since changed and adapted to the bitterness so I didn’t like it as sweet anymore but still, he remembered. It wasn’t uncommon for all of us to bring each other coffee but it was more often that I would get coffee for him than the other way around. There were only a few times I can remember Wesker bringing anyone but himself coffee but it was usually something he picked up rather than something he made himself. There was only one time… I didn’t like to think about that day. It was a cold day in Autumn and I had to stay late to finish some work. Wesker finished his work before me but instead of leaving, he refilled both of our coffees and helped me finish faster. I recall hardly sleeping that night due to feeling giddy over the captain knowing how I liked my coffee and that he made it for me himself. It felt strange now to think something so trivial meant so much to me at the time. 

I looked back to Wesker to find that he was already looking at me from across his cell. He acknowledged the eye contact and then went back to his reading. I stared down at the sweetly delicious coffee that reminded me of office pranks and paper planes. It reminded me of a kinder, more innocent version of myself living happily in much simpler times. It reminded me of a long gone place I used to call home and a family that was now broken… a place and a family called STARS. For once, instead of the bad memories that left me feeling cold… it was warm. And I accepted that warmth, drinking down the entire cup of too sweet coffee. 

Yeah, I was definitely an asshole. 

I sat there for a long time, thinking back on my days in STARS. Of course bad memories came up but instead of trying to stop thinking about it like usual, I just tried to focus on the good ones. There were a lot. Even the ones that seemed bad at the time, like getting shot, were good in comparison to how STARS ended. Besides, we weren’t alone whenever any of us got hurt because our whole team was right there to make sure everyone was alright and also to make fun of them. We truly had been a family. I leaned my head back against the couch as I sighed again and glanced at Wesker for the millionth time. He had been there too though usually with a lecture about doing better next time but at the time we thought it was because he cared and didn’t want anyone to get hurt again. He didn’t have to be there, never had to make hospital visits or call to check in. His role didn’t have to go that deep, he had plenty of reasons that he could have given but he didn’t even need to because no one expected him to be that involved anyway. There were plenty of times the rest of us didn’t get that involved but Wesker always did. That had to mean something, right? 

I almost jumped when Wesker suddenly moved after what felt like hours of sitting still. He lowered his book with an irritated look at me but he grabbed his coffee cup as he slid off his bed. He went to the kitchen and I heard his glass cup clink in the sink before he made his way out to sit on the opposite side of the couch from me. I expected him to say something like there was a reason he was sitting with me but he just crossed one leg over the other and opened his book again. I watched him for a moment before awkwardly turning my head away. What was he doing? What was I doing? Why did he come out here? Should I leave? 

“Is there a reason you’ve been staring at me?” he asked calmly as his eyes continued to scan over the words of his book. 

“Um… no. I just, I was thinking.” I stated dumbly and I noticed him glance at me from the corner of his eye before going back to his reading. 

“About me?” I groaned in annoyance. 

“About STARS.” I corrected and he hummed in understanding. “I can’t understand why you were always constantly checking in with everyone when they got hurt.” 

“Did I?” he posed it as a question though there was a mischievous glint in his eyes as he put his book down to look directly at me. 

“Yeah.” I confirmed with a quick nod. “Like that time with the bank robbery when I was shot in the leg and needed crutches for a while. You came to visit me in the hospital and while I was on leave from work you often called to ask how I was. Me and Jill weren’t best friends yet at that point so not even she checked on me that much.” I explained and he looked down at his lap as he thought about it. 

“And does everyone else recall the same experience with me?” he asked which had me confused. 

“What do you mean?” he only smirked and once again went back to his reading. I hurried to pull my phone out of my pocket to text Jill, completely forgetting that I didn’t want to talk to her again for a while. 

Chris: What did Wesker do whenever you got hurt back in STARS
Jill: Why what did he say
Chris: Humor me
Jill: Not much
Jill: I mean he called to make sure I was okay and see when I could come back to work
Chris: How many times did he call
Jill: Just the once
Chris: Did he ever visit you in the hospital
Jill: No I was never hurt bad enough that he would need to
Jill: If he’s saying he did he’s lying
Chris: He didn’t say that
Chris: I’ll explain later 

My phone buzzed in my hand but I ignored Jill’s probable questions for now. Wesker never constantly checked on Jill… I mean she didn’t often get hurt so maybe he just trusted her to be fine on her own. If that was the case, did he check on me because he didn’t trust me? I found that hard to believe in our line of work, if there wasn’t a certain level of trust the team would have fallen apart right away. Maybe it was a gender thing- no Wesker was never the type to let that be a factor in anything he did. I learned that during training when Jill was surprised he was just as rough with her as he was with everyone else. 

I wasn’t going to get any answers on my own and he was right here… might as well try. I turned my body to fully face Wesker, bringing one of my knees up onto the couch to sit more comfortably. 

“Explain.” I ordered and he smirked again. He leaned forward to place his book on the coffee table before facing me. 

“What exactly am I explaining?” he asked to signal that he was actually going to answer which surprised me. 

“Why was I the only one?” that was still an assumption. I knew he did it to me but not to Jill and that was all I had to go on. I had briefly thought of trying to contact Barry about it but he didn’t know what was going on and I couldn’t explain it. Besides, it’d been quite some time since we last talked so it would be a little awkward for that to be what I started with. I should call him later to check in though. 

“You were the most reckless.” he stated plainly with a light shrug but I gave him an unbelieving look. At least that confirmed that I was indeed the only one he gave the extra attention to. But why? 

“If you really believed I was unnecessarily reckless I wouldn’t have been the pointman. You probably would’ve even fired me.” I corrected him to let him know I saw right through his false answer. 

“That’s true.” he acknowledged without missing a beat like he wasn’t at all affected by the fact he failed at lying to me. That only told me he did it on purpose. He was planning on leading me in different directions just to get my head spinning. He was messing with me again. I thought about dropping the subject since it was clear he wasn’t going to give me a real answer… but I was too curious. 

“Joseph was getting hurt more than I was, did you mother hen him too?” 

“I did not.” 

“Then why me?” he looked at me for a long time, his red eyes moving over all of my features until I started to feel a little uncomfortable. 

“You were my favorite.” he finally said with a small smile… not a smirk or an evil grin but a smile. I felt my heart stop and tried to figure out if he was still just messing with me or if something was actually happening here. My brain wanted to laugh at the implication because of course he was just messing with me… but my heart wanted it to be something more. Wesker stood and walked around the couch, stopping behind me to lean down closer. His breath was on my neck near my ear, raising the hairs in anticipation. “You still are.” he whispered and I tried to hide the way I shivered, wondering if it was just me or if he sounded rather seductive. I felt his presence leave me as he walked into the kitchen. “You really should eat something substantial Chris.” he called over his shoulder in a more casual tone. 

I sat there for a while and thought about how odd all of this was yet again. My phone buzzed in my hand again but I still didn’t check it. Admittedly, I was still a little dazed. It wasn’t wise of me to let Wesker see how much that had gotten to me but I didn’t really have the energy to care. He was right, I needed food and more sleep. I brought myself back from spacing out to see that the blond was scrambling some eggs and I just watched as he moved. It was all a little more surreal than I originally thought it was going to be. I thought the whole thing was going to be much more tense and we would fight or something. But he was writing me letters about his past, checking up on me, now making me food… this was all… almost domestic. It was strange to say the least but compared to what I had been expecting, it was at least more comfortable this way regardless of the tension that still lingered. 

I got up and sat at the table when I watched him put the eggs onto two plates. I needed to eat and he made food so why not? He turned off the stove and put the pan aside to cool before grabbing two forks. He paused before turning to me. 

“You prefer eggs with cheese, correct?” he asked and I nodded in confirmation though I was confused about how he knew that. We hadn’t ever actually eaten together and I don’t remember bringing eggs with me to work for lunch or even mentioning it. Maybe someone else mentioned it to him, there were ways I guess. He grabbed the shredded cheese from the fridge and sprinkled some onto my plate before putting the bag back. I watched him carry both plates over to the table, setting the one with cheese in front of me and the one without in front of the empty space. He glanced back into the kitchen before his eyes returned to me. “Coffee?” I just shook my head. He walked back to the fridge, pulled out two water bottles, and finally sat down. He handed one to me which I slowly accepted and kept the other for himself, twisting off the cap and taking a drink before setting it down. This was all too weird. 

“Why me?” I found myself asking again before I thought about it and Wesker sighed. 

“I wasn’t sure of that myself at the time.” he admitted before he took a bite of his eggs. 

“But… you are now?” I asked, more hesitantly as I ignored the way my heart was thumping against my chest. I internally told myself to calm down because this wasn’t anything. 

“Eat your food Christopher.” was all he said and I groaned, knowing he wasn’t going to give me a direct answer. Nevertheless, I did eat and it was good. “I prepared the eggs to kindly get your system adjusted to eating after what I presume has been days of starvation.” he informed me as we ate. “But tomorrow you need a more solid meal if you expect to keep your strength.” I didn’t say anything to that, simply scoffed at the lecture. It was almost like he was my captain again, treating me like a kid that wasn’t taking care of themselves. “I understand this is difficult for you Chris but I’m attempting a peaceful approach to this situation. I don’t expect you to trust me but I would greatly appreciate it if you would at least try to see that I’m extending the olive branch.” I listened quietly as he spoke, still trying to understand but I didn’t get it. He saved Jill, turned himself in, demanded that I stay with him for a month, and wanted to make a truce? What was his motive? I couldn’t wrap my head around what he was doing. But he just wanted me to try and I could do that. 

“Okay.” I nodded idly and he seemed satisfied so we continued our meal in silence.  

“May I ask what you were yelling about earlier?” he asked with a smirk and I groaned internally as I felt heat rise to my cheeks again. I held my head in one hand to hide it and silently cursed Jill. Why me? 

… … … 

I washed my dishes when I was done eating and carried my water bottle with me as I made my way over to the couch. Wesker had finished before me and was sitting at the couch reading again. I thought about sitting with him and finding something on my phone to do but I wasn’t sure I was ready for the casual nature of that yet. I figured there was enough of that for the day so I was just going back to my room since it was getting late. 

“I’m gonna turn in for the night.” I told Wesker though he didn’t look up at me. “Do you have another letter for me?” that got him to turn with a smirk. 

“Are you expecting one?” I tried to ignore the playful lilt in his voice and shrugged. 

“You’ve given me one every night so far so I thought maybe that was going to be a constant.” I explained and he got up, taking his book with him as he walked into his cell. I decided to take this time to go and retrieve the one from last night since I knew he would want it back. He met me at my door and we traded. 

“Your lighter?” he held his other hand out in waiting so I went to get it out of my bag, leaving the new letter on my desk. I haven’t smoked in a very long time but I never did break the habit of always carrying a lighter with me since it always proved to be such a useful tool. I met Wesker in the kitchen where he already had the small metal trash can waiting and I handed him my trusty lighter. I watched as he set the corner of the pages on fire and dropped them into the bin before raising it up so the smoke escaped through the vent, leaving my lighter on the counter. I listened to the fire crackle for a while though it didn’t last long with only a few pieces of paper. It was relaxing while it lasted though. 

“I’m glad you had a good time by the way, at Jill’s party.” I told the blond man as he checked to make sure the fire burned itself out. 

“Despite not allowing you to bribe me, I did get something out of it.” he replied with that smirk again. I raised a brow but figured he must have been talking about the coffee or other things I brought him. But somehow I don’t think that’s what he was talking about. 

“What do you mean?” I asked as he set the bin down by the sink and stood in front of me. He raised his hands to his sides so I could see them and slowly leaned in closer to me. Though I tensed, I made myself stay still as I reminded myself he was trying to be peaceful. I told myself he wouldn’t hurt me and he didn’t. His cold lips gently touched my cheek before he stood straight again. I forced myself not to react despite the way my heart sped up and heat once again threatened to invade my face. I remembered then that I kissed his cheek that night… I had nearly forgotten about it with the help of the alcohol and embarrassment. But he remembered it almost fondly after all this time and… he implied that he enjoyed it. Let’s also cover the fact that Albert Wesker just kissed my cheek and was now staring at me with a smirk because I still haven’t done anything about it! 

“Good night Chris.” he said before I could react. I turned and watched him walk into his cell. I finally released the breath I didn’t know I held. I then took a deep breath and followed Wesker to his door, peering in to see he was laying in bed with the light off. 

“Night.” I whispered, half hoping he wouldn’t hear me as I closed and locked his door. I went to my room and leaned against the door for a while after locking myself in. Did Wesker know about my feelings back then? Was he purposefully trying to stir me up now? Was that the motive behind this whole thing? That was still a lot of effort just to mess with me. My phone buzzed again so I decided it was time to finally update Jill. Her first text had been questioning what was going on, the second asked if I was okay, and the third demanded to know what that was about. I answered her questions and explained what the kiss on the cheek was and she freaked out over it. 

Jill: I can’t believe this
Chris: Calm down he’s just messing with me
Jill: And you let him
Chris: It’s not really a big deal
Jill: He kissed you
Chris: He kissed my cheek
Jill: You’re defending him now too
Chris: What no
Chris: There’s just a big difference
Jill: Oh my god you liked it
Chris: Don’t be ridiculous
Jill: You didn’t stop him
Chris: I wasn’t sure what he was gonna do
Jill: So you let him do it
Chris: We just talked about how he’s trying to keep things peaceful so I was testing if he was sticking to that or not
Jill: By letting him kiss your cheek
Chris: I didn’t know that’s what he was gonna do
Jill: If you did would you have stopped him
Chris: Of course 

During this conversation I had grabbed Wesker’s letter, turned off my light, and gotten into bed. Jill didn’t answer and I felt guilty for some reason like I had lied to her. She was right afterall… I did like it. I’m ashamed about it and I hated how my heart betrayed everything I knew to be fact about what a monster he really was. I hated him and yet… I did like it. 

Chris: I don’t know 

She never responded and I wondered if she was disgusted with me. I would give her time to think about it and hopefully we could talk about it later. To take my mind off of our conversation, I turned on my phone’s flashlight and read the letter ‘Bet’. 

~~~ 

Bet 

I heard the snickering before I even stepped through the door and sighed heavily, knowing my team was up to something. What was new? I opened the door to the S.T.A.R.S. office and instantly regretted it. Everyone, and I meant all five members of my Alpha team, were standing as if waiting for me with their arms folded, hair slicked back, and a dark pair of sunglasses on their faces. I understood they were mocking me- but I also understood there was no ill will, they were only having fun even if it was at my expense. However I didn’t know how to react to this… so I closed the door again without entering the office. I heard laughter explode on the other side and as I pushed my glasses up to rub at the bridge of my nose. Was I to reprimand them for insulting their captain? Though they were playing a joke on me, I didn’t feel insulted and it was just a good natured prank. No, I wouldn’t punish them. We’ve all worked at becoming such a close knit team and it showed in our ever impressive work, it would be wrong to discourage such cooperation. I did find some level of amusement in their actions as they looked quite ridiculously proud of themselves like they had one up on me. I couldn’t stand for that, now could I? So what to do? It was really quite clear, get back at them to level the score. I finally entered the office and smirked as I addressed the still laughing room. 

“I want to wish you all luck getting your work done today.” I told them as I stood straight and clasped my hands together behind my back. 

“We can see fine.” Joseph hooted joyously which turned my smirk just a bit more vicious. I knew one of them would claim as such. 

“In that case, how about we all make a bet?” everyone seemed shocked at my suggestion as I usually discouraged their silly bets in the office. “I bet that not one of you will remain like that for the entirety of the day.” I knew the hair wouldn’t be an issue for most of the team, really it was only Chris and Jill that didn’t usually wear theirs back as it was. However wearing even regular glasses is something that takes time to get used to, it can be an irritation until you do. 

“What do you want if we don’t?” Joseph chipped in, ever ready to take on any challenge placed before him. 

“Silence and complete obedience for the following week.” I smirked again when the unruly man nodded in agreement and looked over the others. They all looked between each other to gauge how everyone else felt about it before anyone agreed. It was Jill that initiated the group huddle, whispering about their chances and trying to decide what I was up to. I waited patiently for them to decide, watching as Chris fixed his hair to keep it back. I was surprised he had managed to tame it in the first place since it was usually a spiky mess all the time. 

“What do we get if we win?” Chris chimed in hesitantly as he looked back at me and I became curious as he seemed to have something in mind. I was possibly more intrigued by what he could want from me than I should have been but the shy way he asked piqued my interest. 

“What do you want?” I asked him and everyone else looked at him expectantly. 

“I think whoever wins should get to decide.” he shrugged and I smirked once more. I knew he was going to be determined to win this himself and my entertainment with this escalated. I would enjoy watching him try hard to keep his hair under control but ultimately fail. 

“As long as it’s within reason, I will comply.” I nodded once to show I was on board with that and everyone smiled and cheered as the bet was settled. 

The day progressed slowly much to my delight as I watched my team struggle to go through with the bet to win. Barry was out fairly quickly, taking off the sunglasses as he was cleaning the weapons. The others lectured him but he didn’t seem to care much for the bet anyway. Brad was the next to lose when he returned from the bathroom without the sunglasses, again receiving a lecture and his only defense was that he forgot them. It was still early in the day and I couldn’t resist the easy pickings when they were making it so easy. 

“My, what a strong lead you have.” I teased as I emerged from my office. “So early in and already two players down.” 

“Don’t act too cocky captain, only one of us has to make it.” Joseph replied with a sneer. He was beginning to get on my nerves. He was taking this whole dressing like me thing farther and was attempting to act like me and failing miserably. If he wasn’t using his arms he kept them folded across his chest and he kept an over exaggerated scowl on his face. It was quite irksome how he chose to portray me even if it was just a joke. 

“I have no doubt you’ll be done with this by lunch and Chris’s hair will not remain tame for much longer. I’d say the one with the highest probability of success would be Jill though she will not last the day either.” I taunted and Chris checked his hair again before readjusting the glasses on his face. 

“I coulda done it.” Barry called over his shoulder, still working with the weapons. 

“Unfortunately it’s too late for you.” I told him with a dismissive wave as I walked back into my office. I was actually glad that Barry threw the bet so easily as he always wore his hair back and as long as he remained conscious of the bet, he probably could have made it. I was glad to see that he cared more about the precision of the work he was doing over this silly bet. Joseph would tire of this and find a pretty girl he wanted to flirt with so he would lose the getup. I would have to catch him in the act as I couldn’t trust that he would be truthful about losing. With that in mind, I made a phone call. There was an attractive young officer that worked in evidence and I just so happened to need an item we recovered from a case last week. Normally I would go to retrieve it myself or send someone from the team but I needed to keep a watchful eye on them so we would just have to make an adjustment for today. 

When the young woman I requested to bring the item I needed stepped into the office, I noticed Joseph pull his red bandana from his pocket. He was about to tie it over his head when he suddenly froze. I realized both Chris and Jill were glaring him down, it was easy to sense the animosity even with the sunglasses. Is that how they picked up on my anger? As the officer left however Joseph apologized to the others and put his bandana on before chasing after the girl, leaving the glasses on his desk. I grinned in victory and it only widened when the other two turned their accusing glares to me. It wasn’t cheating when I had a valid reason for needing her and there were no such rules against it, besides I didn’t mind playing dirty to get what I wanted. 

It was beginning to get late when I began to think of ways around the bet but that was impossible when I didn’t know what the two possible winners wanted. Jill was still going strong and surprisingly Chris kept it in mind enough to make frequent bathroom trips to wet his hair in order to keep it down. I was sure whatever gel he applied this morning would have lost effect but he was being vigilant on maintaining it. I wondered again what he wanted but wasn’t pleased that I just may be finding out. There was an hour left and though I had made a few attempts of distracting the two so they would either forget or slip up, it seemed my presence only served as a reminder. So I’ve been keeping my distance after assigning them extra work, which they took rather gracefully as they understood it was meant as a distraction and they were determined not to let it serve its purpose. They both often fidgeted with the sunglasses though neither took them off… so far they were succeeding. 

“Jill!” Chris screeched and my heart pounded in excitement for just the slimmest of moments. I looked out the window connecting my office to the STARS office to see that in a moment of frustration over the extra paperwork, Jill had run a hand through her hair and messed it up. 

“I’m sorry!” she called back to him with a disappointed groan. Now only Chris remained. It should be easy enough to get him out if I stopped allowing him to run off to the bathroom to fix his hair. He looked like he wanted to object but didn’t, still continuing to play my game. Jill had gone over to him in a hurry to fix his hair for him not long after that so I knew it was trying to come undone. I ordered her back to work and a few minutes later noticed that Chris was keeping one hand over his hair. He was still working so I didn’t really have a reason to get on him over it. Twenty five minutes left. Surely he couldn’t hope to run out the clock by holding his hair down. At six minutes he moved his other hand to help in his efforts so none of it got loose which told me the moment his hands came off of his head, his messy hair would show itself. This I could challenge. 

“Shouldn’t you be working, Redfield?” I called to him as I leaned against my doorway. He scowled at me and sighed. 

“I already finished my work and wrapped up for the night since I’m just so eager to go home tonight.” he stated, sarcasm and annoyance dripping from his voice. It was understandable for him to be so irritated with me, I did sabotage two of their players and tried to make this as difficult as I could on them. I smirked at his failing last effort though I must say he put up a very impressive fight. I wasn’t expecting him to last half the day but whatever he wanted from me must be big if he was willing to be this attentive to get it. 

“You have to finish those files I give you before you leave.” I reminded him and he checked the clock on his computer. Four minutes. He grinned almost menacingly at me and the sunglasses resting on his nose actually added to the effect. 

“I did.” my smirk fell and I walked over to his desk to pick up the papers in front of him. I quickly skimmed over them to see they were filled out correctly. 

“File them.” I ordered as I placed them down again. 

“Hey Jill.” he called to his friend though she was already at his side with a victorious smile of her own. “I’m so tired from the long day of extra paperwork we had to do, could you please file these for me?” his tone was overdramatic and Jill didn’t play her role any better as she slowly picked up the papers and made a show of filing them away. 

“Why of course Chris, I wouldn’t want my best friend to push himself too hard over all this extra paperwork .” the last bit of that was directed at me harshly. My jaw tensed and I wanted to demand that Chris do it himself but everyone helped each other out here, it wasn’t uncommon for someone to take someone else’s work if they were heading that way. Even I did it if I was running an errand and one of my members had something that needed to be done there as well, I would just do it for them while I was there. It saved time, effort, and strung the team tighter together. Two minutes. 

“Nhg shit.” I grumbled to myself and refrained from gritting my teeth at realizing I lost. “Playing dirty, I see.” I commented a touch sourly. I wasn’t very competitive but this loss meant that I had to do whatever Chris wanted of me without first knowing what it was. I didn’t like him, or anyone, having that kind of power over me and I regretted ever suggesting this. I wanted to get back at them and all I managed to do was make it worse for myself. 

“Learned from the best.” my pointman smiled proudly at me and I heaved a sigh but nodded. That was fair. The time was up and everyone cheered that they had won against me. Chris used his hands to ruffle through his hair as he laughed and made it messier than it usually was. He seemed relieved to take off the sunglasses and everyone else started to throw out ideas of what to make me do. It seemed the popular vote was no work but that wouldn’t happen since my only saving grace was that I specifically said as long as it was reasonable. 

“Guys, this is Chris’s win!” Jill shouted over everyone. “He’s the one that made it through the day and we agreed that the winner got to decide.” we all turned to him as he smiled triumphantly, looking right at me and maybe it was just because I hadn’t seen them all day but his eyes appeared more vibrant than I remembered. 

“Yes, what do you want from me?” I asked, my curiosity coming back. 

“I’m coming over to your place tomorrow morning and I’ll let you know before work.” he answered, seeming proud of himself but there was something else there that I couldn’t put my finger on. I suddenly dreaded tomorrow but agreed, knowing that if it was anything too terrible I could still say no and he would have to change his request.

Chapter Text

Waking up was hard and even though I was still exhausted, I couldn’t seem to fall back asleep. Checking my watch had me groaning in objection. It’d only been three and a half hours since I last checked the time. So I was only out for maybe two hours. Why couldn’t I sleep? Maybe I really should see if Jill could bring me a sleeping aid because I really needed to get some rest. 

As usual I worked out and showered before coming out of my room. I unlocked Wesker’s cell though I didn’t open the door before making coffee this morning. I made sure to leave some for him this time but I didn’t go as far as to pour him a cup, he could do that himself if he wanted any. I rummaged around in the fridge for something to eat when a thought occurred. Wesker made me food yesterday because… I refused to even entertain the idea that he was worried, maybe he was simply playing a helpful role to better suit our truce. Would he do it again? I decided to test it so I didn’t get anything to eat. Instead I retrieved last night’s letter and sat on the couch to wait for Wesker to come out of his cell. 

He didn’t keep me waiting long, I was about half finished with my coffee when he opened his door and walked out. He went straight to the kitchen and got some coffee. If he knew I purposely left him some, he didn’t acknowledge it which was fine because I didn’t want him to. I just wanted to stop feeling like an asshole. Once he had his coffee, he sat with me on the couch though he didn’t have a book or anything. Was he just going to sit there and do nothing? I guess I couldn’t really say anything about that since that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. 

“What do you think of the letters thus far?” he struck up a conversation which I appreciated so I wouldn’t have to. Maybe I was starting to get a bit lonely, but- no, I wouldn’t say that I was enjoying his company. 

“They’re alright, I guess.” I shrugged. “But I think you need to work on your storytelling.” 

“What do you mean by that?” he raised a brow, seeming slightly offended. 

“The way you write, I feel like I’m reading an incident report.” I wasn’t really sure how to say what I wanted to get across. “Even things I remember, makes it seem a little empty.” 

“Hm.” he hummed in thought. “I didn’t take you for a critic.” 

“You asked.” I shrugged again before taking another drink of my coffee. “I remembered that bet ending a little differently by the way.” 

“Oh?” he raised an interested brow at me. “How do you remember it ending?” 

“With you throwing a fit.” I stated calmly and watched his expression go from inquisitive to sour in an instant. 

“I did no such thing.” he said as he put his coffee down. He was clearly upset but more embarrassed than mad and I knew why. Being the type of person he is, I’m sure he hated every second of it but really, it wasn’t that bad- he even said so himself. It wasn’t often- scratch that, it was never that I got to mess with him rather than the other way around so this was almost fun. If he didn’t have such a sick sense of humor, maybe we could have pulled some pranks together like me and the others used to. 

“You were pissed and huffing and puffing about it all day during your punishment.” I went as far as to tease him. He glared at him but his eyes didn’t glow so I’m not sure how mad he actually was. “Oh come on, it wasn’t that bad.” I almost nudged him playfully but stopped myself. He sighed and looked away from me as he crossed his arms. 

“No, it wasn’t. I was expecting far worse.” he stated and I chuckled, thinking back on some of the things Joseph had suggested to me. I shook my head at the fond memories and when I turned back to Wesker, he was staring at me. I was about to question it when he spoke. “I didn’t think you’d relax this quickly.” he stated in amusement and my smile fell as I looked at him in annoyance. 

“Don’t point it out or you’ll ruin it.” I grumbled and he held up a hand in a pacifying manner. 

“Wouldn’t want that.” he commented quietly and at first I registered it as sarcasm but it wasn’t. I waited a moment to see if he was going to try turning it around on me but he didn’t. His eyes wandered around the room a bit as if looking for a distraction and I just watched the way they moved. It was still so weird for me to see his eyes like this or for this long. For as long as I’ve known this man he’s had a pair of sunglasses glued to his face. But this is the fourth day in a row that he hasn’t been allowed his usual accessory and I got to freely see his inhuman eyes. I never was afraid of his eyes like many were- I was surprised when I first saw them, sure. It was unexpected and that’s when I learned my ex captain, a man I used to look up to, was no longer human. As monstrous as they are, I always thought they somehow suited him, probably because I viewed him as a monster after what he did to us and it was gratifying that he had some physical mark of what he became. Even so, they were almost alluring in a way when they weren’t in the skull of a pissed off beast threatening my life. “I would say something about taking a picture, however I’m sure there’s plenty of security footage.” Wesker’s voice snapped me out of my staring and- shit how long had he been looking at me? 

“Shut up.” I growled as I turned my head away. 

“I don’t mean to offend.” I heard him shift and peeked back over to see he had turned his body to fully face me. “Stare all you like, that is the reason I’m not permitted to have my sunglasses, is it not?” my eyes narrowed at him but I was looking again. 

“No.” I shot back. “You don’t need sunglasses in prison.” 

“Chris you know I didn’t need them most places I went.” he replied with a smirk. I sighed as I remembered when I found the courage to question his shades and was surprised he actually answered me. That was the day… it was the first time I saw his eyes. It shouldn’t have been a big deal but it was to me. It was actually supposed to be a part of his punishment but after he told me, I didn’t force him not to wear them. Now that I was thinking back on his human eyes… I actually missed them, I was always entranced by how beautiful they were. They were such a pale blue you would mistake them for being gray if you didn’t look close enough. They were cold as was the man they belonged to which chilled me when I first saw them but they were so expressive, a quality they still possess though I tended only to see hatred in them now. But these past days, he hasn’t looked at me with the same venom he usually did. What changed? I didn’t want to look at his inhuman eyes anymore, they were bringing up more bad memories. 

“Then why did you keep them after you changed?” I questioned as I turned away again, knowing that Wesker would notice the shift in my mood. 

“At first it was habit, mostly.” he shuffled again and I guessed he was getting back into his previous sitting position now that I wasn’t looking at him. “But humans tend to question the unusual so it was in my best interest to hide my unnatural eyes to better blend in where I didn’t want to be spotted.” 

“I thought you liked showing off your superhuman qualities?” I asked as I rolled my eyes before drinking down the rest of my coffee. 

“Yes well, as you once put it, it makes me mysterious and sexy.” he stated with a teasing tone that made me choke on my drink. I coughed and sputtered for a moment which Wesker found an excessive amount of amusement in as he chuckled at my suffering. Once I could breathe again, I turned my panicked eyes to the blond and tried to pretend my face didn’t feel just a bit warmer. 

“You heard that?” I yelped, my voice coming out strained and higher than I would ever like to hear it again. It was a stupid conversation in the office on a foggy day in Racoon City. The sun was hidden the entire day which covered the city in a mist of dreariness. Yet despite the absence of the sun, Wesker still wore his sunglasses. Jill and I were theorizing why he always had them on and our ideas could get pretty outlandish as we came up with whole backstories for our captain. They could range from a childhood accident to… something about sewer alligators and pirates, I don’t remember most of the nonsensical things we came up with when we were bored. The only reason I said that was because Jill had joked that it was easy to talk to me like I was her girlfriend so I said something about Wesker always wearing sunglasses that I thought a girl would say. Context is key! 

“Among… other things, yes.” for a split second his expression changed but I couldn’t make it out. Was it disgust like he heard the other stories or was he teasing me and heard me say other embarrassing things? I groaned and rested my head against the back of the couch. “Have you eaten?” he asked me though he was already getting up to head into the kitchen. He knew the answer so I didn’t bother telling him. 

I stared up at the ceiling and thought again about what Wesker’s possible motives were behind all of this. He’s right too, I have gotten more relaxed than I ever thought I would be around him- and it’s only been four days. I was sure I would walk into this hating every second and walk out still hating my time spent here… but… it was a little nice- just a tiny bit. Wesker not trying to kill me or anyone else, being as cooperative as was possible for him while still maintaining an aura of control, taking the time to talk with me, and showing concern for me… it was like I was dealing with my old human captain again. It was a nicer feeling than I would like to admit and I had to remind myself of all the terrible things he’s done- this was a mission, not some blast from the past social visit. We were still enemies and that wasn’t going to change just because he was playing nice. 

“You stopped the letter after accepting defeat.” I called over to him and I saw him shake his head but he didn’t turn to me. “Am I getting the punishment tonight?” that gave the blond pause and I wondered why since it was rational to think the continuation to the story would follow. Then he slowly turned his head to gaze at me with narrowed eyes but he didn’t look angry… he looked at me with a type of hunger in his eyes I didn’t understand but it stopped my heart. 

“Do you want me to punish you tonight?” his voice was low and it was definitely just me hearing the seductiveness laced in the words but it brought an intense heat to my face. I was completely speechless. I sat there and stared dumbly at him with my blushing face and stumbled for something to say back but I couldn’t even think straight. What was with that innuendo? Did he just flirt with me? Eventually after receiving no answer from me, he sighed and turned his focus back to making food. “Yes, I already have it written.” he stated, sounding too disappointed for me to just shrug off. Did Albert Wesker really just flirt with me? No way! From what I could tell he’s never been interested in physical desires like that- hell, he was even pretty dense to how I used to feel about him so there’s no way! And I was a guy- why would he flirt with a guy? Unless- no! Why me? No, no, no! He wasn’t interested and neither was I! Why was I still thinking about this? “Chris.” Wesker’s voice called loudly and I finally looked up to see he was standing in front of me on the other side of the coffee table. 

“Huh?” I questioned dumbly as I looked up at his annoyed face. How long had he been trying to get my attention? 

“Your meal is ready.” he gestured to the table where a single plate sat at the same spot I was in yesterday which I guess was now officially my spot. I nodded and kept my eyes off of him, mumbling a quick thanks. He picked up last night’s letter from the coffee table and carried it with him back to the kitchen to burn. I again listened to the fire from where I sat until it was gone. Then I slowly moved to the table to eat though I really didn’t feel like it. There was a pork chop with a side of rice on the plate, a fork and a steak knife sitting on the side. I looked around the kitchen but saw no sign of the pans he must have used. Just how long was I spaced out for him to be able to prepare this and clean up? I picked at it for a minute and though my stomach growled, I still didn’t have much of an appetite. “Eat.” the blond commanded coldly as he passed me to walk into his cell. I sighed, feeling like I failed something and he was mad at me. So I ate all the food he made for me as a silent way to make it up. 

I didn’t see him again for the rest of the day, or rather I saw him in his cell whenever I peeked in but he was ignoring me. For a while he just laid in bed but later he opted to read one of his books though I would sometimes catch a glimpse of his eyes on me. I just sat on the couch and tried to distract myself with whatever I could on my phone but it didn’t work. I wanted to go lay in bed too but even if I left my door open, I couldn’t see Wesker’s bed from there. I wasn’t sure why I felt like I needed to keep an eye on him right now but I did. Between my futile efforts to distract myself, I would stare at him, trace the way the tshirt rested against his body and how he tensed when he caught me looking. I wanted to ask for the next letter so I could finally make my retreat from the awkwardness I felt but I didn’t want to seem more eager for the pun- letter... than I already did. 

Eventually I heard him growl to himself and get up. I watched as he went to his desk, tore a few pages out of his notebook, and walked out of his cell to stand in front of me. I wordlessly held out my hand for the letter but he skipped over my hand to place it on the coffee table in front of me, making eye contact as he did it. My eyes narrowed at him in annoyance at his petty behavior though I knew I didn’t have any room to speak since I had been wasting fresh coffee just to spite him. 

“I’m closing my door.” he stated in finality before straightening. 

“Fine.” I replied with just as much callous as I stood to be nearly level with the vibrant red eyes that bore into me with anger. That was a look I was familiar with and it sent adrenaline racing through my veins. Suddenly my mind was clear and all my fatigue vanished. All I wanted to do was fight him, my heart raced, my eyes locked to his, my fists clenched tight, and my jaw tensed. I waited for him to make a move and when he finally did… he turned and walked away. Something in me sank in disappointment. He was just gonna walk away after leading me on like that? His door shut so I couldn’t see him anymore and I growled to myself as I ran a hand through my hair in frustration. Great, now there was no way in hell I was going to sleep tonight. Damn he really knew how to get under my skin. 

I locked his door before getting myself into my own room where I paced with my arms folded and my finger tapping on my arm. Now I had too much energy that was going to keep me up. So I did the only thing I could do to get rid of it, I threw myself into a rigorous workout. By the time I was done and felt drained enough that I might be able to sleep, I was sweaty and panting. I took a quick shower, my muscles appreciating the cool water falling down my body. As my hands ran over my body with the soap, one lingered at my thigh. My heart rate picked up again and some dark part of me wanted to grab my dick and stroke it fast until I couldn’t stand anymore. I wasn’t sure where these thoughts were coming from but I shut it down and quickly got out of the shower. I dried off and threw on some sweatpants before throwing myself into bed with the light still on. I lectured myself with old military drills to straighten out my thoughts. 

After a while I felt less heated so I forced myself out of bed to go to my desk though I didn't see Wesker’s letter. I groaned, realizing that I didn’t grab it when I came in. I unlocked my door and stepped out, walking over to the coffee table to pick up the papers still sitting there. I picked them up and was about to turn back to my room when I heard water running. It took me a moment to realize that Wesker was taking a shower. I stood there for a moment and listened to the way the water hit the tile ground in steady streams. I thought about how it must be cascading down Wesker’s pale skin, following the lines of his defined muscles, and creating mesmerizing patterns. In my head he turned to see me staring and smirked with playful eyes. 

“Should I punish you now?” he whispered in my mind and the air in my lungs got knocked out of my body. I snapped out of it and I realized the thought of Wesker’s naked body had my heart beating fast yet again, my face was hot, and I was getting hard. I quickly ducked back into my room and locked the door as if I could lock those thoughts out as well but they still trailed along with me. I wasn’t noticeably erect so I didn’t have to worry about whoever might be on the cameras since Jill should be gone by now- not that I would want her to see that either. For the smallest moment my mind wandered to the fleshlight in my top drawer but I shoved it down before it could fully form. I wasn’t going to do that especially not with what was invading my mind! 

I paced for a while and went over drills again and lectured myself about what the hell was wrong with me. My imagination was too vivid and out of control and it’s just because of what he said earlier! This didn’t mean anything and it didn’t change anything! 

Finished with my inner lecture, I took a few deep breaths and sat on my bed. After a few more minutes, I looked to my desk where the letter sat abandoned. I inhaled deeply and slowly let it out, finally feeling fully in control of myself again and moved to sit at my desk. It was labeled as ‘Punishment’ though I’m almost positive he added that after I called it that since I had never once heard him refer to it like that. It was always just 'the bet' that we weren’t allowed to talk about. I wasn’t going to let him get to me with this again. 

~~~ 

Punishment 

I checked my watch for the time once more as I sat on my couch, waiting for Chris to show up at my apartment. In honesty I hadn’t slept much the previous night, I was preoccupied with thoughts of what my pointman could possibly want from me. So I was also up early to await his arrival however I was beginning to think I was expecting him a bit too early. He wasn’t really known for his punctuality and it was made worse that he never actually stated when exactly he would be here. I was already set to walk out the door right now but I had to sit and impatiently wait for the brunet to make his appearance. 

Finally there was a knock on my front door so I brought myself to my feet and strode over to let him in. Upon opening the door, I saw him standing there awkwardly wearing faded jeans and a black zip up hoodie. I stepped to the side as I gestured for him to enter my home. He walked past me and looked around silently though there wasn’t much to look at as I was a simple man that only required the basics. He hummed to himself, sounding a bit disappointed at the lack of personality in my apartment. 

“So what do you want?” I cut to the chase, eager to end this anticipation. 

“Okay, um,” he hesitated before forcing it out. “I want to pick out what you wear today.” if I wasn’t mistaken he was near blushing at the request as I stared at him, a bit taken aback. That was it? That was the important motivation that pushed him to win the bet? 

“Very well. Come.” I said as I motioned him to follow me. I led him into my room and gestured to my closet and dresser. It didn’t really matter what he chose, they were all my clothes and everything I owned was professional enough to wear to work. I’ve been called classy by many and I guess today it was serving me well. Embarrassed and hesitant, Chris slowly made his way to my dresser to go through it. He looked back to me to take note of what I was currently wearing before returning to his task. I also glanced down at myself in wonder of what he was expecting out of this. I heard Chris groan a bit to himself before he moved to my closet, a bit more confident in what he was doing. 

“Don’t you own anything more casual?” he finally questioned as he turned to face me and I only smirked back at him. So that was his plan, he wanted to take me out of my element. Unfortunately it wouldn’t work. He rolled his eyes before grabbing a pair of black cargo pants from my dresser and handing them to me. I took them from him and gazed between the pants in my hands and the ones I was wearing to realize they weren’t that different. He skipped going back to my closet and went rummaging in my dresser again. I would have to reorganize everything once he was done. I wordlessly removed my pants and folded them before placing them on my bed. I heard a loud thump on my dresser and looked up just as Chris’s face was quickly turning away from me. He remained still for a long moment before I finally questioned it. 

“Chris?” 

“Nothing!” he nearly shouted and I raised a brow at his strange behavior. “I just hit my elbow against the drawer- it’s nothing.” he spoke more calmly now and I rolled my eyes at him behind my sunglasses before putting on the pants he had handed to me. I buttoned them and slid the zipper up before beginning to undo the buttons on my shirt, knowing he would have it replaced. By the time he finally handed me a white tshirt, his face brightened, my torso was bare and I again looked at him strangely. 

“Have you caught fever?” I asked him suspiciously as I took the shirt from him and he hastefully shook his head. 

“Nope, it’s just cold this morning.” he rushed a reply before turning away again as he moved to my closet. “Speaking of which, what jackets do you own?” I directed him out of my bedroom to my coat closet though I knew he wouldn’t find anything to his liking there. I slipped the tshirt on over my head, carefully not to ruin my styled hair or disturb my sunglasses. I usually only wore these as undershirts but I knew Chris wouldn’t care for any arguments I could make. “Why don’t you have anything normal?” he complained as he finished going through my coats, all much more formal than he wanted. 

“Normal is relative.” I told him as I grabbed my boots and walked to the couch to put them on. 

“Yeah, yeah.” he waved at me dismissively as he thought. He fidgeted momentarily with the hem of his jacket before an idea seemed to strike him. He slid the jacket from his arms and stepped closer to me to hand it over. “Wear mine!” he smiled in excitement at his plan. I looked between him and his jacket with skepticism. 

“What about you?” 

“I have my ‘Made in Heaven’ jacket at the office.” he reassured me and I sighed. I wasn’t fond of the idea of wearing someone else’s clothing and I was sure I would look like a child in such apparel but I knew Chris wasn’t about to let up. I was sure it would fit me fine as Chris and I were roughly the same size so I wouldn’t have to worry about it being either too loose or too tight which was at least reassuring. It was only for a day. 

“Fine.” I stated as I took the jacket from him and slipped it on though I left it open. I expected it to be warm since Chris had been wearing it all morning thus far, I should have expected it to smell like it’s owner, and I didn’t expect it to bring me any sort of comfort… but for some inexplicable reason, it did. 

“Now we’re gonna mess up your hair.” he spoke with excitement, successful in dragging me from intrusive thoughts. 

“Excuse me?” my voice was lower, more dangerous than it was a moment ago but it only made my pointman smile wider. 

“Come on!” he didn’t wait for me before heading to the bathroom just off the living room. He sure got comfortable here quickly. My jaw tensed and I didn’t want to go with him and allow this but I already agreed to do what he wanted and this was still within reason. I walked into the bathroom and allowed Chris to wet my hair to get the gel out of it. He used my comb to style it differently, part of it hanging over my face though it wasn’t long enough to be a hindrance to my eyes. “There we go.” he whispered with a rather pleasant smile as he looked over his work, his hand lingering on the side of my head a moment longer than I felt was necessary. His face heated again as he removed his hand from me. 

“Are we done now?” I growled with my arms crossed. He looked me over and cocked his head to the side. 

“One more thing.” his hands cautiously raised to my face and once I realized he was going for my sunglasses, I leaned away. 

“No, that’s where I draw the line.” I told him and he looked confused. 

“Why? Is it bad?” he pouted and I sighed again. I knew the stories they came up with about my eyes and even ventured into my backstory but I never cared to correct any of them. They could speculate all they wanted, it didn’t bother me. 

“I just don’t want to deal with the migraines.” I told him and he looked confused again. “My eyes are sensitive to light.” 

“Oh.” he was silent for a moment as he took in the information, probably thinking over some of his theories. Perhaps he was disappointed that it was something so simple rather than the fantasy scenarios they discussed. “Is it from some kind of condition or something?” how long had all of them wanted to ask me about my eyes? I was wondering how long it would take for someone to just ask. As soon as someone did, I would have answered but apparently they assumed it was supposed to be some sort of secret so no one ever did. Until now that is. I wonder what gave him the courage. 

“No. The pigmentation in my eyes is so light that they can’t filter out the harsher rays of light.” I explained simply. “It isn’t a severe issue but I’d rather not deal with the migraines it causes. I don’t see a point in ‘toughing it out’ when wearing sunglasses is an easy solution.” 

“Oh, okay.” Chris nodded along with the reasoning, the mystery now solved. He seemed just a touch disappointed that it was something so simple as he and the others had created such complex stories behind the reason I always wore sunglasses. Often in life a person’s imaginations were better than reality. It was an issue I couldn’t relate to but it seemed it was very true for Chris. “Can… can I see them?” his shy question took me by surprise. He sure was bold today, wasn’t he? First the question about my eyes and now he wanted to see them too? Now that I thought back on it, he hadn’t ever seen my eyes- I don’t think any of STARS has. But it wasn’t a big deal, they were just eyes. I supposed the mystery the others had cultivated around them turned this into such a big reveal. 

“I suppose.” I told him as I reached up to take them off but Chris stopped me with a hand on my arm. 

“C-can I?” I raised a brow at him but nodded. His hands slowly raised and he gripped the arms of my sunglasses to slowly slide them off my face. I blinked against the bright lights in the bathroom as Chris just stared into my eyes. I noticed the way he shivered but paid it no mind, believing it to be something of anticipation. We stared at each other as I waited for him to get his fill yet the time continued to stretch on. I wasn’t one to become uncomfortable with the gazes of others yet between the clothing I wore, having my sunglasses off, and the intensity of Chris’s gaze… I was beginning to feel like the situation was no longer in my control. He looked at me like I was something mystical and it was causing an undesirable stirring in my chest that I couldn’t understand. It wasn’t a big deal so why was he acting as if he were under some sort of trance? 

“Chris.” I stated sternly as I held my hand out for my glasses. 

“Oh- right!” he finally ripped his eyes away from mine and returned my glasses to my waiting hand. “Um… we should probably go.” 

“And I’m to remain like this all day?” I asked as I placed my glasses back on and walked out of the bathroom. I grabbed my wallet, badge, and keys before opening the front door and holding it open for Chris to step out first. 

“Yes sir!” he said joyously as he watched me lock my door. We made our way to the parking lot where I expected we would part ways but instead he pointed to his Jeep. “Why don’t you just ride in with me?” I looked him over for a moment, the nervous stature he held. 

“Is this part of what you want from me?” 

“Uh, I guess?” he phrased it more as a question himself but nonetheless, I complied. It didn’t impede me at all, it just meant that he may have to stay at the office a bit late so he could also take me home. The ride was mostly silent and I tried to ignore how my hair sat against my forehead in an unfamiliar way. I hadn’t allowed my hair down like this since I was a child and that’s exactly how I felt now. I really wasn’t going to like today. Chris was right about it being cold and this jacket was too thin to offer much comfort, my own were much thicker for the colder seasons. I noticed the brunet slightly shivering and wanted to make a comment about how he should have kept his jacket and allowed me to wear one of my own but stopped myself. For some unknown reason, this was important to him in some way so I would remain silent on the matter. 

Walking through the precinct wasn’t as bad as I initially thought it was going to be. No one stared at me or commented on my attire as I was expecting so we made it to the STARS office without incident. We were still a bit early so we were the first to arrive though I knew the others would be arriving anytime now. Chris went straight for the leather jacket hung on the wall next to his desk and quickly put it on. 

“Coffee?” he asked as he headed for the door. 

“Please.” I responded as I stepped in my office to grab a paper from my desk listing things I wanted everyone to get done today and walked back out to the main office. The door opened again and I looked up half expecting to see Chris but it was too soon for him to be back. Instead I saw Jill standing before me. She seemed confused but offered me a warm smile. 

“Hi there, can I… help…” she trailed off as her expression twisted into one of shock. Had she not recognized me? Was that why no one had been staring at me as she currently was on the way here? Because they didn’t know it was me? As she kept staring, I felt like maybe this was as bad as I thought it was going to be. I felt awkward and unprofessional coming to work like this and I would deny it if anyone said my face may have heated in embarrassment. I glared at the floor, thinking that maybe Chris was more successful in taking me out of my element than I originally gave him credit for. 

“Is it really that strange?” I hissed as I looked over myself again. I glared at the woman when she nodded. My jaw tensed as I walked into my office and shut the door. I had work that needed doing outside of my office but I would be content to just remain here for the entirety of the day. I heard other voices entering the office and Jill talking excitedly about me. I moved to close the blinds in my office before anyone could try to look in at me. Why had that damn idea of a bet come to me? This is all Chris’s fault. 

“Captain!” speak of the devil and he shall appear. His voice was on the other side of my door though he didn’t knock, probably because he had his hands full. “I have your coffee.” I regretfully opened the door, standing where the others I knew were watching wouldn’t be able to see me. Chris stepped in and looked toward my desk, seeming confused when he didn’t find me there. Once he was far enough from the door that it wouldn’t hit him, I slammed it shut again which caused him to jump. “Shit!” he spun to face my harsh glare and slowly exhaled to calm himself. I heard noises of surprise from the others but ignored them. “Don’t do that.” Chris breathed again and walked over to my desk to put down the two cups of coffee he carried. If it had not been for their lids, he probably would have spilled the hot liquid on himself in his fright. 

“This was a mistake.” I growled at him as I rounded on him to my desk. I moved a hand up to fix my hair but the brunet snatched my wrist in his hand. 

“Wait!” he nearly shouted before clearing his throat almost apologetically. “You look great.” he muttered to me with a kind smile that held no ill intent or lie. I sighed and lowered my arm though he didn’t release me. 

“I look like a child.” I corrected and Chris laughed softly, almost fondly. 

“You always look great Wesker.” he looked over me again with a chuckle, his thumb rubbing lightly into my skin. “It’s not a bad look on you, just really different from what we’re used to.” I watched the way his eyes lingered downward between us and wondered why he couldn’t face me when he didn’t seem to be untruthful to me. This didn’t seem to be some sort of a ploy- he already got what he wanted. 

“Let’s just get this over with.” I muttered as I took my hand back and marched to my office door. I swung it open and stepped out to face the others with my arms folded. I said nothing as everyone stared at me in shock- Joseph laughed and I glared at him though it didn’t stop him. 

“This is way better than what I said!” the blond man exclaimed in mirth. 

“If this becomes a distraction from everyone’s work, there will be hell to pay tomorrow.” I told them all which was effective in finally silencing Joseph. “Has everyone had their fill now?” I demanded and everyone nodded, no one daring to speak. “Dismissed.” I stated before returning to my office and closing the door since Chris had followed me out. 

“Oh my god this is such a treat! I can’t believe you got him to dress so casually!” Jill spoke to Chris as they started to get to work. 

“That was the best I could do with what he owns.” Chris’s voice grumbled, just loud enough for me to still make it out. 

“Is he wearing your jacket?” my lockpick asked and the brunet didn’t answer. Curiously I peeked out of the blinds to see what was going on and noticed his head was down and his face was red again. He really must be coming down with something. I had to keep an eye on him to make sure it didn’t get bad enough that I would have to send him home.

Chapter Text

As predicted, I didn’t sleep much. I found it amazing that even after all this time Wesker seemed to think I caught a cold that day. I was somewhat under the impression that he used to know about my feelings, not that I fully understood what I was feeling back then, but I guess not. I understood that back then it wasn’t common for men to be gay- I guess it would be more accurate to say gay people hid it at all costs out of fear so people didn’t suspect that’s what was going on. But I always thought Wesker knew everything and saw through everything. I guess he was more human than I gave him credit for but what was his excuse now? I mean he was obviously reliving it as he wrote and he caught me blushing, did he really still believe I was sick? I guess I wasn’t so obvious about it except for that day so maybe it was easy to write off as odd behavior caused by a cold given the circumstances. 

All through my workout and my shower, I couldn’t stop making mental notes between his behavior when he was human, when he was a monster, and now. The comparisons were beginning to blend together, too many overlaps and bias formed opinions. Human, monster, now. What did that mean? Did I consider him not to be a monster anymore- no, he’s done too many horrible things to be redeemed of that. Not by a very long shot. But maybe since I was currently seeing more of his humanish side, I was starting to see him as something else. As I made my way out of my room, I found myself being even more glad that we agreed he wasn’t a god. If he changed again and actually became a god, even if it was just in his own mind, he would be too far gone… he would be out of my reach. But… did that mean I actually thought I could save him? What was I supposed to save him from exactly? He was the bad guy. Or maybe I was right before in thinking that he was changing for the better now that he was finally free from Spencer. He was truly evil and he made Wesker into what he was… maybe I could help him change back into a human. Maybe he wanted that too and that’s why he set this up. 

“Chris?” I was snapped out of my thoughts and was suddenly faced with Wesker, standing too close to me with a strange expression. I was standing in his doorway and he seemed to want out but I was in his way. When did I open his door? How long have I been standing here? “Are you alright? Your mind has often been elsewhere as of late.” he questioned and I blinked my heavy eyes a few times before nodding as I rubbed at them. 

“Yeah… yeah, just tired.” I answered as I stepped out of his way so he could finally exit his cell. 

“Go back to sleep.” he told me as he stepped into the kitchen for a water bottle. “I’ll prepare some food and coffee when you awaken.” 

“I can’t sleep.” I shook my head and sat on the couch. 

“Perhaps you should try a little longer.” he suggested as he sat next to me, a bit closer than usual. When the thought of asking him to come with me entered my mind, I crushed it down in an instant but then it was followed with the words he spoke in my mind last night. The images came back to me now that he was near me and my face was warming up and there was nothing I could do to stop it in my exhausted state. 

“Um… yeah, maybe I will.” I jumped up and quickly went back to my room, locking the door behind me. Maybe it was better that I just stay away from him today. He was right though, I should try to sleep some more if I wanted to be more vigilant. I crawled back into bed and closed my eyes, forcing away thoughts of a certain blond man. 

About an hour passed and I still wasn’t any closer to falling asleep despite how hard it was to keep my eyes open. How could I be this tired and still not sleep? It was getting too frustrating to stay in bed like this as if sleep was taunting me and I was never able to catch it. So I got out of bed to find a distraction but I was again faced with the problem of there being nothing to do. So I left my room. Wesker was on the couch with his notebook and raised a questioning brow at my appearance. 

“Why are you finding it so difficult to sleep?” he asked as he lowered the notebook from where he had been writing in it. 

“I wonder.” I shot back and instantly regretted it though I wouldn’t admit that to him. He looked at me in annoyance but said nothing as he went back to his writing. I sighed and sat down in my spot as I rubbed my eyes again. 

“Are you hungry?” he asked without looking at me. I rested my head back and flopped my arms to my sides. 

“No.” I groaned, knowing that wasn’t what he wanted to hear. 

“Can you eat?” 

“I don’t know.” I shrugged. 

“Will you eat?” he tried again and I thought about it with a long exhale. I didn’t want to but I knew he would pester me about it later if I didn’t. I was thinking I would be able to deal with it better later than I could right now but he might try to lecture me now if I said no and that I couldn’t deal with at the moment. 

“Sure.” I gave in and he left his notebook and pen on the coffee table to get up and head for the kitchen. “You know you don’t have to keep making me food.” 

“If I didn’t, you would surely starve.” he said with a smirk back at me and I actually smiled because I caught onto the playful tone in his voice. Funny… a few days ago I’d tell you Albert Wesker didn’t have a sense of humor and now I was finding entertainment in his jokes… even when they bordered on flirtatious. Now I was wondering if he actually meant it like that or if he picked it up from how we all used to joke with each other around the office. Maybe he picked it up from other mercenaries he used to work with though I could only hope he didn’t learn it from them. 

I decided to lay down on the couch and mess around on my phone to kill time as I waited for my food, whatever it may be, to be done. 

… … … 

My eyes fluttered open to stare up at the ceiling and I was confused for a solid minute before I finally registered I was laying on the couch in the prison. I actually slept and I felt better for it. I yawned as I stretched my limbs, startling when my hand touched a person’s head. 

“Jesus!” I huffed as I shot upright, staring down at Wesker who was looking up at me in amusement. He was sitting on the floor in front of the couch with a textbook and a pen, his notebook still on the coffee table in front of him. “Fuck.” I groaned as I laid back down. Did I really fall asleep with Wesker lurking around? That was dangerous… so why didn’t I feel like I was in danger? “How long was I out?” I asked him as I checked my watch to see that it was late in the afternoon. The blond looked into the kitchen probably to check the time on the microwave before returning to what he was doing. 

“A few hours.” he told me blankly. 

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” I said that but I was already in the process of rolling onto my side to go back to sleep. I should at least go to my room… but I was comfortable. 

“I’ve been saying you need more sleep- and you do,” he stated before I could object. “so why would I then wake you as you were finally getting some rest?” I ignored him since I was cozy again. I closed my eyes and listened to his pen glide along the paper of the textbook in his lap and the crinkle of the pages as he turned them. It only then occurred to me that Wesker was still sitting with me instead of working at his desk- or anywhere else. 

“Why are you here?” I asked tiredly without moving. 

“I told you that you were not going to get the ‘why’ so don’t fret over it.” the blond responded with a sigh. 

“No, I mean why aren’t you doing… whatever that is, at your desk or something?” I corrected, still not opening my eyes though I noticed the noises of Wesker’s writing stopped. 

“Would you believe I simply enjoy your company?” he didn’t sound like he was teasing me but… what else could he be up to? I opened my eyes to give him a confused look but his red eyes were already set on me. I hadn’t been given tons of opportunities to learn the expression in Wesker’s eyes but I was learning more and more that I didn’t need to because it was all there. Longing red eyes bore into me and I couldn’t look away. I didn’t know what to make of this… so I avoided it. 

“Are you doing homework?” Wesker sighed and turned back to his textbook. 

“I suppose though I would be the teacher in that case. I’m correcting the errors and where they’ve oversimplified things.” as he continued his explanation, I leaned closer to look over his shoulder to read some of the science passages. “I’m also adjusting their experiments and incorporating ideas for improved outcomes of the expected results.” 

“I don’t understand any of that.” I commented before he turned to give me an irritated look. I should have expected this but our faces were suddenly too close so I hurried to pull back. Ripe for teasing but Wesker didn’t say anything about it so I wouldn’t either. 

“If you wish, I could try going over some of it with you.” I stared down at Wesker, surprised by the offer but I was still too drowsy to really give enough attention to this and I didn’t want to make a fool of myself. 

“Later, yeah.” I nodded shortly before resting my head back on the arm of the couch. “Too tired right now but I’ll listen.” he nodded back in understanding and turned back to what he was doing though now he was speaking his thoughts aloud and reading select passages from the textbook. I closed my eyes and listened to his calm voice, noting the gravelly tone it took when he found something he deemed as an error but the chuckle he would give to an interesting section. His scribbling on the page was rhythmic and his narrating was soothing. I felt calmer like this and though I was still a bit sleepy, I had slept enough that I didn’t feel like I was going to doze off. But I totally could have with how comfortable this was- even if that still surprised me. “Wait, wait.” I stopped him as I opened my eyes to skim over the textbook, trying to find the section he had just read. Something about the neutrons firing in the brain. “I’ve always wondered what that would do to you.” 

“What do you mean?” he questioned as he looked to where I was now pointing. 

“I mean if your brain was destroyed, well assuming you could heal from that, what would happen to your memory?” he didn’t answer as he continued rereading what he had just gone over. Maybe he was thinking about it. “Because your physical brain might be able to heal but it can’t replicate the exact electrical triggers.” I explained a bit more. 

“That’s… an excellent question.” he stated slowly and I guessed he’d never thought about that. “You aren’t making plans, are you?” he asked but there was no suspicion in his tone. I chuckled a bit and shook my head. 

“No, I don’t perform experiments on people for my own gain.” I told him though as a surprise even to myself, there wasn’t any malice behind the accusation. “I will admit I’ve wondered about it for years as an alternate way to deal with you.” he thought about that for a moment before turning more to fully smirk at me. 

“You wanted to save me?” 

“What, no- not exactly!” I exclaimed, ignoring the tiny bit of heat coming to my cheeks because yes, I was thinking of ways to stop Wesker from being what he was without killing him. And if I thought that maybe if he didn’t have the memories of everything that happened to him or what he was… maybe we could even get him to work on our side. So technically, yes, I was trying to save him… maybe I still was. But that was too immoral of a method, even for someone like Wesker so I never told anyone about these thoughts for fear of someone taking them seriously, not only with Wesker but maybe as a way of mind control. “I just thought if we couldn’t kill you, it was something to possibly think about.” he hummed knowingly but didn’t tease me further. 

“I suppose you’re right though. Depending on what area of my brain was destroyed, it could theoretically damage my memory permanently. However I doubt even I would be able to survive my brain being completely destroyed so it would have to be done in sections and with careful precision.” he explained and I sighed. “What is it?” he asked, looking more interested in the sour expression I wore. 

“It’s just so wrong.” I shook my head. “I’ve never told anyone about this because well, I didn’t want it leading to anything and-” my eyes widened and I suddenly made direct eye contact with him. “You wouldn’t do anything with this, would you?” he chuckled at my fear. 

“No Chistopher, I wouldn’t.” he reassured as he put his things on the coffee table and turned fully toward me. He placed one arm on the edge of the couch and leaned his head on his hand as he looked at me, both of us pretending not to notice that his elbow was touching my stomach. “While I’m not above mind control, I wouldn’t use such slow methods. What you are thinking of would be much too tedious and the chances of survival for an average human would be slim. I don’t have the time to waste replacing one’s memories and training them to be loyal to me.” I relaxed at his explanation, that made sense and I knew that was more like him. “I have a drug in the works that would achieve that goal much quicker.” he added and I tensed again. 

“What?” 

“P30. It’s a mind altering drug that makes the subject more susceptible to suggestion. It hasn’t reached the testing phase yet but I was going to work it until it was strong enough that the subject would not be able to refuse an order from me.” I glared at him as he talked. “I don’t believe I would ever need it, I’m perfectly capable of getting what I want from people on my own. It was simply a project to occupy myself with.” I rolled my eyes. 

“What, so you experiment with new drugs and viruses for fun?” I asked skeptically more to be sarcastic than anything. 

“Yes.” he said seriously and I looked at him incredulously. 

“Really?” 

“I can become bored as well Chris and creating new things is not only my work but also like a hobby to me.” he informed me with a smug look. “It’s a good way to make money as well.” he shrugged. “If something comes of my drabbles, I can sell it to add to my fortune.” 

“Fortune?” 

“Yes Chris,” he took on a complacent smirk. “I have the wealth to fund my own projects. I worked as a higher up in Umbrella since my teenage years and then also as the STARS captain while maintaining my position as a spy. I made good money back then and I still do. With my knowledge, skills, wealth, good looks, and alluring charisma I can have whatever I want.” I continued to stare dumbfounded at him. Everything he said was true, I just couldn’t believe he was rich since he didn’t really show it yet at the same time it made sense. We made decent money in STARS though as our captain he probably made more than the rest of us and he was also working as an Umbrella spy at the time and god knows how much that paid. But his apartment was average and lacked anything aside from the basic necessities and he owned a modest car back then. From what I could tell the only thing he owned that would have been any dent into his budget would have been his wardrobe as he had rather classy taste in clothing and I knew everything was fit to him. I didn’t doubt that’s most likely still how he lived though probably more extreme now that he didn’t have as much emphasis on human needs. 

“I thought you got funding from the companies you worked with.” I stated dumbly and he nodded. 

“I do, it’s one of the ways I’ve been able to accumulate so much for myself.” I shook my head in disbelief with a deep breath as I looked up to the ceiling. “How about yourself?” 

“I do okay.” I shrugged, suddenly feeling underachieved compared to him. 

“I’d venture that you mostly stay at the BSAA headquarters working or waiting on a mission.” Wesker started and my eyes narrowed at him in annoyance at his hit on the head of the nail. “However I would think you have a small apartment you use to get away from everything. Although I can’t imagine you spend much time there.” my gaze left him and I sighed at my own darkening thoughts. 

“Actually… I’ve been spending more time at home lately.” he cocked his head to the side slightly at my admission. “I haven’t told anyone else about this so I don’t know why I’m telling you but…” I sighed again, still staring at the ceiling. “I keep wondering if the fight is worth it. Every time we stop an outbreak or a corrupt company, another one- or a dozen come up. It’s like fighting a hydra but there’s no source to stop them all because the whole thing is built on an idea.” I rubbed my eyes. “I’m getting so tired of it all and I’m sick of losing friends. Thinking Jill was dead, well I would have given up if I actually believed it.” 

“Why don’t you retire?” Wesker asked and my gaze returned to him with a shocked expression. 

“And leave the fighting to everyone I love? Jill would never even think of quitting and my own little sister is continuing with this too. We save the world- already have a few times, I can’t just back out of that.” I told him as I watched him look me over. 

“There are plenty of other dedicated soldiers that can fight in your place.” 

“But they’re not me.” I stated with a hard tone. I didn’t actually think I was above anyone else, I trusted everyone in the BSAA to be able to do the right thing on the job to save lives. But… I just felt like I had to be the one to do it. 

“As the perceived villain in your story, I can agree with that. You make it much more entertaining for me.” he offered me a playful smirk that I returned and shook my head at him. 

“Is that why you wanted me here?” 

“Partly.” I was about to ask what that meant when he changed the subject. “I was a little surprised you were considering a scientific approach to dealing with me.” I scoffed and folded my arms again. 

“You don’t work against bioterrorists without knowing at least the basics of biology and virology.” I was about to sit up but stopped myself, not wanting to disturb the comfort drifting nicely between us so I just adjusted how I was laying. “Me and Jill actually purified a new virus on a mission not long ago. It turned out there was a whole set up by our director- well, he just stepped down. He’s a good man and had a good reason for what he did but it was still wrong and cost lives.” 

“Are you referring to BSAA Director O’Brian exposing FBC Commissioner Lansdale’s involvement in the Terragrigia Panic?” we stared at each other for a moment and now I was a bit suspicious. 

“I guess you know all about it.” I prodded cautiously and he raised one shoulder in a half hearted shrug. 

“I know the summary of what happened as I was too preoccupied with tracking Spencer to read through the full report. I was going to get back to it later. I’m aware of what occurred but I wasn’t aware you were directly involved.” 

“Report? How did you get a report?” I asked suspiciously. 

“I’m very resourceful and well connected Chris.” he reminded me with a smirk. “However the company I’m currently working with did have spies aboard to retrieve a sample of the T-Abyss virus and that’s who I have reports from.” 

“Spies? Who? There were only a few of us on board and- Jessica?” I shouted in shock and his smirk widened. “I thought she was Lansdale’s spy?” 

“She was double crossing him to work for us as well. Technically they’re still under our employ should we need them again.” 

“I can’t believe you worked with someone so unprofessional.” I grimaced, remembering how she wouldn’t stop flirting with me. 

“I’ve never met her, it wasn’t my operation to oversee.” he replied. “I’ve never seen you act like this with a woman, what happened between you two?” there was a dark edge to the way he asked. 

“Nothing she wanted.” I huffed and rolled my eyes. “She spent the whole mission coming onto me despite me showing no interest, she never took the hint. Sure she’s pretty but she’s too vain and promiscuous, I wasn’t about to become another of her conquests.” Wesker smiled, seeming pleased with this. “Anyway, who else was working with you? I know it wasn’t me or Jill and the only other people there were Parker, Raymond, and a woman -Rachael- that was killed.” before he could answer, I continued. “It’s Raymond, isn’t it?” 

“What makes you say that?” 

“You said the spies are still ‘under your employ’ which means they’re alive so that rules out Rachael. I trusted O’Brian and he seemed to trust Raymond but the only times I encountered him were under suspicious circumstances.” I replied, sure of myself. “When Parker was assigned as Jill’s new partner, I was sure to meet him and size him up. He’s a good man and I trust him.” 

“You are correct.” he nodded and I groaned. Raymond was still on the loose and no one suspected him of being a bad guy since he was working with O’Brian. 

“Shit. I need to warn everyone else.” I pulled my phone out of my pocket but Wesker grabbed my wrist with his free hand to stop me. 

“Do it later, I’m enjoying our conversation.” he still wore a satisfied smirk and I looked at him in bewilderment. ‘Do it later’ did he realize what was at stake if we continued to let him roam freely without suspicion? Jessica was already known not to be trusted and when we found her she was to be arrested but Raymond still had access to things he shouldn’t. What if he stole something? “You can’t arrest him without the evidence from my phone and I will not give that up until the end of the month.” I groaned again, knowing he was right. Still, that didn’t mean we couldn’t keep an eye on him just to be sure he didn’t try anything. 

“I’ll just text Jill.” I told him and he slowly released my wrist. I sent my best friend a quick message to let her know that Jessica and Raymond both worked for the same company Wesker was with and stole the virus. I told her to get eyes on Raymond but not to spook him since we couldn’t make a move on him until we got into Wesker’s phone. She sent back an affirmative and told me I did a good job getting that information from him so I put my phone away. That was a good point, I hadn’t even thought I was going to be getting anything from him but now I thought maybe I could get bits of information here and there. Hopefully he’d give me enough to make an arrest or two. 

“Tell me more about your last mission.” Wesker continued and I thought about it. The mission was kept under wraps due to the scandal but it wasn’t like Wesker didn’t already know about all that and he did have reports from both Jessica and Raymond. But it would still be wrong for me to disclose mission details to the enemy. 

“Let’s talk about something else.” I said as I scooted up just a bit to sit up a little, Wesker didn’t move so his elbow now pressed into my hip though not uncomfortably. 

“Very well.” the blond accepted the change though he tapped my legs as he stood up. Taking the hint, I bent my legs closer to me so he would have enough room to sit on the couch. He took his seat, sitting closer to me than he needed to and tapped his thigh. I watched him for a second, understanding that he was telling me I could put my legs across his lap but I wasn’t comfortable with that so I pretended not to notice the invitation. “I apologize that you had to deal with Miss Sherawat’s unwanted advancements.” it wasn’t entirely ‘something else’ but it wasn’t anything that would have me talking directly about the mission so I allowed it. 

“She wasn’t the first person to put moves on me that I wasn’t interested in but she definitely was the most persistent.” I only shrugged though I noticed Wesker roll his eyes with an irritated expression. “What’s wrong with you?” 

“I too know the frustrations of persistent women.” he sighed and I laughed. Not because I didn’t believe it- he was very handsome, skillful, powerful, and apparently rich so of course he would have people falling for him left and right. But it was astounding to me that someone wouldn't back off the moment he set a glare on them. 

“You? I bet you could easily put a stop to it if you wanted to.” that was right so… why didn’t he? It was obvious he wasn’t interested so why put up with it? 

“She serves a purpose so I can’t get rid of her yet.” he told me, still wearing that sour expression. 

“So you just let her hit on you?” 

“It’s still early in our partnership but I see where she’s trying to take it.” he finally looked at me before he smirked. “Come now Chris, don’t look at me like that. I won’t allow her to actually try anything with me.” he stated playfully and I blushed as I quickly turned my face away from him. I didn’t realize I was making a face but I must have been for him to start teasing me again. It was true I got a little upset hearing about this but it wasn’t like I was jealous or anything. I knew Wesker wasn’t like that and I didn’t have… what? Competition? That would imply I was pursuing Wesker myself and I wasn’t- never would be. 

“Whatever.” I grumbled before silence drifted between us. A few minutes had passed and neither of us broke the silence so I pulled out my phone to check the news for anything important I should know about. I knew no one would want to tell me anything that was happening outside because it would only rile me up and make me more anxious to get out so I had to find out for myself. 

After a while of browsing, I decided there wasn’t anything worthy of looking into so I tucked my phone back into my pocket with a sigh. I needed something to do, the anxiety of just sitting around was getting to me again but I will admit that spending a good chunk of the night talking to Wesker helped to ease that. Not that I’m saying it was preferable, just that it was a good enough distraction for a time. 

“Would you mind retrieving my letter?” the blond asked, finally disturbing the quiet and I just nodded before moving to go get it from my room. I handed it over and he went to burn it as I watched from the couch. This was becoming something of a routine and I found that I didn’t mind, having some daily recurring events was good for my stability. Once Wesker was done with that, he stepped back over to me. “It’s late, I think I’ll retire to my room now.” he stated as he gathered his things from the coffee table. I mentally corrected him about it being his prison cell but didn’t speak it aloud. 

“Okay.” I nodded but didn’t move as I watched him tear a few pages out of his notebook to leave out for me. 

“Your food is in the fridge when you’re ready for it.” he told me as he turned to walk into his cell. I watched him reorganize things at his desk before beginning to strip off his shirt. My eyes widened and my face heated as I realized he was probably going to take a shower. I had a clear view of his shower from here and now the thoughts I had about him yesterday were flooding back into my head and I couldn’t watch this! I darted into the kitchen where I couldn’t see his bathroom and distracted myself with the food he made for me earlier. I hadn’t realized it before but I was pretty hungry now. 

I tried not to listen to the shower running or pay any attention to my wandering thoughts as I ate. The food was good, as it always was. As I’ve said before, I’d never seen the man cook before now but I couldn’t imagine he would be bad at anything so I wasn’t surprised that he had talent in the kitchen too. He lived alone and always had to take care of himself his whole life so it would make sense for him to be able to cook. After my parents died and I was suddenly responsible for myself and Claire, I learned how to cook but it was mostly just basic stuff. 

The shower turned off and there was a small tug in my mind that wanted me to peek into his cell to watch him dress. I shook it away, blushing at the thought. I think I undressed him in my mind more than enough for the day. 

“Chris.” he called from his doorway and I looked up to see he was shirtless. I looked away and cleared my throat. 

“What?” I asked as casually as I could while I picked at the remainder of my food. 

“Are you going to lock me in?” I thought about it for a moment before shaking my head though I still didn’t meet his gaze. 

“You could just break the locks anyway and it’s getting annoying. You can close your door if you want.” I told him and noticed him studying me over the edges of my vision. I peeked up at him to catch him nod in understanding and go back into his cell. I slowly released a breath I didn’t realize I held. I quickly finished my food and took care of my dishes before grabbing the papers left for me on the coffee table. Wesker hadn’t closed his cell door so I peered in to see him lying on his back in bed. I couldn’t tell if he was trying to sleep or just relaxing but his eyes were closed so… my eyes raked over his exposed torso, following the paths carved in his skin by his well defined muscles. I double checked that his eyes were still closed to ensure I hadn’t been caught staring. I hadn’t, so I made my way back to my room. I was feeling tense and hot again but didn’t go over drills this time. Instead I just gave Wesker’s most recent letter ‘William’ my full attention. 

~~~ 

William 

It wasn’t in my nature to be very competitive. As a scientist I worked alongside a team to reach our shared goals. Of that team, only Birkin was ranked as my equal and though we often didn’t see eye to eye, we didn’t compete so much as settle our differences with various tests to see who yielded the best results. At least I never viewed it as competition since it was a win no matter who had the better experiment. So long as it would progress our efforts even if it was not my experiment we were using to achieve it, I was satisfied. Though I’ve always been sure of myself and my actions, I cared more about the work than about my personal achievements. William however didn’t like losing even if it was for the betterment of the project, he was at times overconfident in his work and always wanted to be on top. This was yet another difference between William and I, he wanted to be the best in every way and would become jealous and spiteful if anyone were to stand above him. He became distraught when I proved him wrong in a theory or he had to admit I had the more impressive findings following a debate. Despite our differences, we respected each other and he even fondly referred to me as his friend. I never shared the sentiment but I would admit he was as close to what one would refer to as a friend than anyone else I’ve known. I trusted him and that said a great deal. 

William grated on my nerves as he courted Annette around the lab and often it would interfere with our work which always only accomplished to sour my mood. He even asked me for advice, knowing I had studied psychology since my earlier years. Seeing it as the only way to eventually get everyone’s minds back on work, I helped him. He referred to me as his ‘wingman’ and I aided him in his attempts, something she always found amusing. They both knew of each other’s feelings by this point and were merely toying with one another to see who would break first. I ended up playing both sides for my own entertainment. I only partook in this childish dance if I happened to be near one of them while working as I seemed to be the only one competent enough not to allow useless feelings to distract me. A sly word to her, a false hint to him. I pulled them together. An arrogant tone, a repulsive habit exposed. I kept them apart. I was stringing them both along, keeping them at bay from each other until the tension grew in the lab so everyone felt it. I wanted one of them to explode. Once they did, not only would it be a show of my own orchestration, but they would finally either drop the courtship or get together. Either way, silence would fall upon the lab once more and we could all return to work. I also predicted that they would trace it all back to me and know not to interrupt my work again for I was not only a genius virologist but I enjoyed psychological warfare. 

And it all went according to plan. It was William to finally burst the tension and admit his feelings and they did hook up. Over the course of a few days, they shared what I had been saying to each of them and realized things didn’t line up as they wanted them to. They tried to confront me about my disruption of their game. I simply told them that if they didn’t want their game to be ruined, maybe they shouldn’t play in the lab and disrupt everyone else because the rest of us had work to do. That shut them up. We did have to go through a period of them flirting and thinking they were so stealthy in stealing kisses around the lab. I once caught them having sex in a storeroom which deeply embarrassed both of them as I insisted on lecturing them first before leaving. They didn’t do it again. It did eventually pass the longer they were together and they were no longer new and exciting to each other. Things were finally back to business as usual. 

The two eventually married and brought a daughter into the world. William was so proud to be a new father and Annette was a glowing new mother. I had visited them at their home a few weeks after their daughter’s birth. The pair had insisted that I meet the girl and while I saw no point to it, I complied since it seemed important to them. I watched the married couple gush over the newborn as Annette lifted the bundle from her crib to gently pass her to her father. The man then turned to me and gestured for me to take the infant. 

“I would rather not.” I simply told him and the blonde woman behind him giggled slightly. 

“I think he’s intimidated by her.” she spoke conspiratorially to her husband and he laughed. 

“She’s small but she won’t break.” William reassured me and my eyes rolled behind the cover of my sunglasses. 

“That’s no worry of mine.” I corrected them. “I simply don’t wish to hold your infant child or any for that matter.” 

“Come on, you’ll love her.” he pressed so with a slow exhale, I reached out to carefully take the baby from his arms. I adjusted her into a comfortable position on my arm and looked down at her. “She’s our greatest creation.” William stated proudly and his wife beamed with agreement. My eyes studied the miniature person I held with a critical eye. Sherry was asleep so I couldn’t see her eyes though I’m told they were blue and she had small blonde hairs poking out atop her head. Her cheeks were round and her hands balled into little fists. She weighed almost nothing and I thought only of how fragile she was. An accomplishment, she was not. Anyone in the world is capable of bringing new life in this way but only select gifted people were able to do what we did. I have seen William’s creations, my own hand aided to bring new life to such strong creatures. Sherry was weak and the only attribute this child had going for her was the superior intelligence she would hopefully gain from her parents but it would be much too long before she would reach an age in which to utilize it. 

“She’s…” I paused as I searched for something appropriate to say at a time like this. “beautiful.” I finished as I handed Sherry back to her mother who took her with an annoyed look, knowing I didn’t mean it. 

“Don’t worry honey, it’s nothing personal.” the other man chimed in with a smile. “He just doesn’t like kids but the fact that he tried says something.” I nodded when the woman looked to me for confirmation and for once I was glad for William’s interpretations into my thoughts. It wasn’t exactly on point but it was good enough to keep the woman from being angry with me. I wouldn’t care if she didn’t allow her feelings to interfere with work and since I worked with her, well, it was best to keep everyone amicable. 

“I’ll be taking my leave now.” I stated as I turned to the door but was stopped. 

“Wait- already?” William called after me. 

“Yes. I said I would stop by to meet Sherry and I have.” regardless of knowing this was exactly how this would go, he still seemed disappointed. “I have work to do since the two of you have taken time off.” I explained which I knew would silence any further complaints and it did so I was able to make my escape. 

It was around this time that I began to grow more annoyed with my colleague as he was more insistent that I should find a wife and have a family as well. He persisted regardless of my continued statement of not being interested in leaving a legacy. Though it was under this persistence that I later had a one time fling with a foreign woman during my time in the US Army. Nothing ‘sparked’ as William said though he was sure it was just a result of it not being the right woman but I had lost interest in the nonsensical pursuit of ‘love’. It did mercifully pass however and William delved back into his work, often even neglecting his child. It only strengthened my belief that ‘family values’ were worthless. Of course it was never in doubt that they still loved Sherry but all that talk just to leave her on her own a great deal of the time in favor of work. 

Even after we went our separate ways, we kept in touch and continued to work together. The last time I saw him was when we were overseeing the reopening of the executive training school we had both previously attended. With the termination of two squads, we found it best to destroy the school. It was I who made the decision first to abandon Umbrella and encouraged William to do the same. We made a plan and set it in motion. That was the last I saw him. I later found out he was assassinated over his work but infected himself with it much like our former mentor. The G-virus had mutated him beyond recognition, he even attacked his own daughter as a way of reproducing the virus. The fool. I told him it wasn’t controllable and the infection rate was practically zero, it was unstable which made it useless. Sherry was alright in the end, thanks to my pointman’s younger sister Claire Redfield. I wondered how the G-virus would adapt in her body but never pursued the girl. 

I never regret the things I do as I think carefully about my plans before acting. But in this instance… I regret what I didn’t do. I should have aided William in his escape, knowing Umbrella would be coming for the G-virus as they were going down. Having to retain my cover of being dead meant I couldn’t go myself but I could have hired another agent to see him out of NEST safely. Maybe then he wouldn’t have succumbed to his work, killed his wife, attacked his daughter… maybe then he wouldn’t be dead. I should have done more for my friend.

Chapter Text

I was so exhausted yet I still couldn’t sleep though it was now the very early morning hours. I was really getting sick of this shit. I knew my environment and especially the company I had, plus all the information processing I’ve had to do was to blame. But it was really getting to me now and I needed to find a way to get some regular sleep if I was going to keep up with Wesker’s games. 

My mind drifted to the forbidden item hidden away in my underwear drawer, courtesy of Jill. I pushed it from my mind… again. It’s been coming up every now and again since she told me it was there. It wasn’t that I was against masturbating, I did it plenty, just… not here, not now, and not with something Jill bought for me and would surely tease me relentlessly about. I tried to convince myself that she wouldn’t find out but it was Jill and I was bad at lying to her, she would find out even if it wasn’t right away. But that was it, I wouldn’t have to deal with that for a while and I needed something to help me now. She was right of course, getting off would lower my stress and most likely help me sleep. And let’s face it, it was pretty much guaranteed to feel great. 

With thoughts of how it might feel, I shamefully got aroused before I was finished with my debate on whether or not I should use it. I slipped my hand into my pants under the blanket and stroked my cock to full attention. I could just use my hand but… I mean it was there and now I was more curious than anything. I kicked off my blanket and got up to retrieve the fleshlight from my dresser, taking a moment to locate the bottle of lube or lotion I knew had to be in there too. I found it in a small bag with the cleaning supplies. At least I could count on Jill to be thorough- no, I wasn’t going to think about her at a time like this. I had to double check that the camera was off even though I hadn’t turned it back on since the discovery. 

I got back into bed and pulled my pants down just past my hips to expose myself though I quickly pulled my blanket back over my body. I squeezed some lube onto my hand before coating it over my shaft. Before I gave the fleshlight a go, I wanted something to watch with it so I went for my phone. My imagination was fairly vivid especially when it came to these things but I had doubts if I could trust my own mind with how eager I was suddenly feeling. I idly stroked myself as I browsed for a video, finally settling on one that caught my attention. I was about to press ‘play’ on it when I had to stop myself. A certain superhuman asshole came to mind and I didn’t want to risk him hearing my video. I had headphones but they were at my desk and that was too far for how hard I already was so I unfortunately muted the video. 

I stuck to using my hand at first, more or less using it to slowly tease myself as the video was still in its early stages. As it progressed, I became more aware of the small wet noises my hand was making as it slid up and down my lubricated erection. It felt good and I didn’t want to stop. I’m sure Wesker wouldn’t hear, I was being quiet. The girl in the video had just finished giving the guy a blowjob and climbed on top of him to ride him, her giant breasts bouncing for the camera. For some reason, it didn’t do anything for me right now so I tried to focus on watching the guy’s dick penetrating her but the camera fixated on her boobs. I was too into jacking off to bother switching videos by this point so I just turned it off. I quickly loaded up my music app and shuffled whatever playlist I had on last before tossing my phone to the foot of my bed. I applied some more lube to the tip of my dick before grabbing the fleshlight and slowly pressing myself into it. It wasn’t warm and it didn’t quite feel as realistic as I was hoping but it fully engulfed me and I knew it would warm up after I used it for a bit. 

I closed my eyes and imagined the girl from the video with her lips wrapped around my cock in place of the fleshlight. I sped up, biting my bottom lip to stifle the low moan in my throat. Why was she suddenly blonde? Didn’t matter. It felt so good especially now that the fleshlight was warmed up, it was easier to pretend it was the inside of a woman’s mouth. Her boobs were still in the way, always a big selling point for pornos. I used my imagination to slim her curves down a bit more and even imagined she had more defined muscles. I didn’t want my partner to be smooth and frail, I wanted someone strong. 

It felt better than I originally gave it credit for. I was sweating slightly, my pace nearing brutal now and I threw my head back as a moan slipped out of me through my panting. It was fine, I had music playing so Wesker wouldn’t hear anything. I imagined grabbing the woman’s short hair, messing it up from it’s perfectly slicked back style, and held her in a more chaotic rhythm. 

“F-fuck…” I groaned as I felt the warm coil tightening in my abdomen, warning me that I was close. I didn’t care, it felt too good and I didn’t have to worry about making a mess. When I returned to my headspace it wasn’t the woman I had created whose lips were wrapped expertly around my stiff erection. It was Wesker. He was shirtless though he still wore his sunglasses and he was lying between my legs with my dick in his mouth. His hand gripped the base of my shaft and moved in time with his bobbing head. I could almost feel his tongue swirl around the head and lick up the underside along the vein. He was perfect at everything he did, even something like this. 

Wesker’s sunglasses were suddenly gone and he looked at me with glowing red eyes filled with a lust I knew I would never see in real life. Every muscle in my body suddenly tensed and I slapped my free hand over my mouth to keep in the gasps and curses that wanted to flow out of me. I came into Wesker’s mouth and true to the thought that I wouldn’t have a mess to clean up… he swallowed every last bit of my cum. My body was trembling as I rode out my orgasm, my hand still slowly moving the fleshlight as I didn’t want to stop. Wesker finally removed my penis from his mouth to smirk at me as he ever so slowly licked his lips. He moved to lean up and I knew he was going to kiss me and I wanted it so bad. I sat up as if to meet him halfway before I finally remembered that it wasn’t real- Wesker wasn’t here. I panted alone in my darkened room before looking down at the fleshlight still hugging onto my now flaccid member. I shivered as I pulled it off, having worked myself into overstimulation. I stared at it in my hand and wondered for a brief moment if that orgasm was supposed to be that intense because of it. I could tell myself that but I knew it wasn’t all due to the fleshlight. Like I said, I had a vivid imagination. 

… … … 

Well it worked. I got some sleep- slept in even. But I didn’t feel any better stress wise- in fact I felt worse. I was so worn out after that great orgasm that I didn’t have the energy to even begin to stress over what exactly got me to finish. I had been perfectly okay with it at the time too- more than okay, I was even more turned on by his appearance! What the hell was wrong with me? Did I really cum to the thought of Wesker sucking me off? I felt like shit mentally but at least physically I was well rested. I tried not to think about it too much, trying to shrug it off as an overactive imagination filling Wesker in because I was thinking about him- only because I was trying to make sure he wasn’t going to hear me! 

I took a shower after cleaning the fleshlight since I fell asleep pretty quickly after cumming earlier. Then I made my way out of my room, spotting Wesker at the table with two plates of food. I almost blushed when he looked at me but cleared my throat and tried to act normal as I sat across from him, accepting the classic breakfast he prepared for me though it was past lunch by this time. He was already halfway through eating and I was counting myself lucky. Wesker didn’t need to eat or sleep as much as a regular human but every few days he required rest and nourishment. I’m sure he didn’t have to but I’ve noticed that he likes to get all those human things out of the way at once. So if he was eating now, that must mean he was sleeping last night. I smirked to myself, feeling more confident in my belief that he was completely unaware of what I was doing. 

Then he yawned and I felt as if all the blood had drained from my body. Somewhere in the back of my mind I thought about how odd it was to see him yawn, I’d only seen him act tired a handful of times back in STARS and that was when he was actually human. But no, this meant something far worse. It meant he didn’t sleep last night but he was supposed to… like he was prevented. I cleared my throat again, still trying to pretend like everything was normal though I couldn’t look at him so I stared at my food as I picked at it. 

“Tired?” I asked, hoping it sounded casual enough. 

“Quite.” was all he replied with. What was that supposed to tell me? Did he hear what I was doing or not? Oh fuck- did I say his name? No, no I definitely would have remembered doing that. “Your music was too loud and kept me up.” he finally spoke again and my eyes slowly found his to see he was very slightly glaring at me. “Honestly Chris, must you have it running so late?” I subtly released a breath I didn’t know I had held. He didn’t know. He only heard the music. Thank god. 

“I’ll keep it down.” I told him and with a curt nod, we both went back to our food. 

“What kept you up so late?” he questioned after a bite and I shrugged. 

“I’m just still adjusting to sleeping here, it’s not a big deal.” I told him and he stopped eating. 

“Is there anything I can do to alleviate some of the stress I cause you?” I looked up at him curiously but he seemed serious enough so I thought about it. Yes being so close to him so much was frying my nerves and it was hard at first not to pick a fight every time I saw him. But I was getting more used to seeing him and interacting with him was getting easier. His presence was becoming less and less threatening to my instincts every day- hell I even fell asleep around him yesterday though I still blame that mostly on exhaustion. Not locking him in his cell last night didn’t do anything to make me feel any less safe, I always knew the locks wouldn’t stop him. It was also nice not having to worry about locking him in and letting him out every day. He was even going out of his way to cook for me when I wasn’t doing it myself. He was trying and it showed, that was enough for now for me to try as well. 

“No.” I shook my head and continued eating. “You’re already doing enough.” I noticed his lips twitch up for a moment in pride but didn’t say anything about it as he returned to eating too. “Sometimes the letters get to me a bit but it’s not really in a bad way.” I explained and he raised an eyebrow. “Like the last one, it…” I sighed. “I guess I never really thought you had lost anything in Racoon City because you were a part of what happened. I’m still coming to terms with you experiencing loss too.” Wesker nodded along with my words thoughtfully. 

“Racoon City was never much of a home to me. I’ve moved around enough and never understood the sentiment but I did lose everything during that incident as well. I want to be clear that it was never my- or Umbrella’s intent to have the city perish as it did, that happened at the hands of Dr. Marcus and his companion. Umbrella simply cleaned up the mess.” he explained and it was my turn to nod. 

“I know.” I told him. “Rebecca was there at the training facility and told us everything.” I sighed and stopped eating again. “Tell me,” I hesitated but pushed out the question. “I get that STARS was constructed and funded by Umbrella to be like their private army or something and I’m sure we helped to clean up their underdealings without knowing it. I’ve come to terms with that but exactly how involved were you in setting us up? From what I’ve read, it didn’t really seem like your plan.” 

“I wanted to involve STARS much earlier when the virus was leaked to prevent any further issue but the higher ups disagreed. I was ordered to keep STARS out of the investigation because they wanted a chance to handle the situation without the risk of exposure.” I remembered that. When the reports of strange cult like killings had become known in the surrounding forest, it felt like something STARS should handle. But Wesker kept saying it was another department’s case though he never seemed to like saying it and his mood would sour every time it was brought up. I used to think it was because he was upset about the killings but I knew better now. He didn’t like being held back by his orders, it was probably a relief when he finally got the green light. “Of course the rest of the police force couldn’t handle the workload that was ever increasing and the public became restless. It was only after the situation was being covered by the news that Umbrella realized they could no longer contain it themselves and I was ordered to send in STARS.” he stopped to take another bite and drink from his water bottle. Realizing I was still neglecting my food too, I started eating again. 

“Whose idea was it to kill us?” I asked, my voice surprisingly not holding any hostility in it. I’d accepted what had happened a long time ago though forgiveness wasn’t anywhere in sight. 

“Spencer’s.” he stated simply. “Quarantine failed and the mansion was overrun with infected, leaving no option but the eradication of everything there. However they simply couldn’t destroy it from the outside since there was so much of value still inside. So I was to retrieve virus samples, embryos, and opportunistic combat data. However as witnesses to the darkness Umbrella hid, all STARS were to be eliminated. Then I was to destroy the mansion and return to Umbrella with the spoils. I probably would have gone back to being a researcher for them but that alone no longer suited my desires.” 

“So you double crossed them.” 

“Of course. I saw they were going down and jumped ship so as not to be taken with them. My plans only varied in who I was giving the samples and data to.” he explained. 

“How’d that work out for you?” I smirked a bit viciously and he gave me a warning look. 

“Yes, because of my death, Sergei was allowed the time to lock me out of the mainframe.” he stated sourly. “And if it wasn’t for you showing up when you did, I would have had time to complete the download and had what I needed for the new company. Of the two that ruined my plans, at least I got to kill Sergei.” his eyes glowed with that familiar hatred for me again and my body tensed and hot adrenaline flowed through my veins. I was itching all over now, waiting for him to make a move. But he closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and drank some more water. “But that’s in the past now.” he seemed to tell himself rather than me. I was feeling disappointed again that we weren’t fighting even though I antagonized him. My leg bounced with the unused energy I now had and I scarfed down the rest of my food. To move around some more to try to dispel some of it, I went to wash my dishes and grab a water bottle. 

“So why not let STARS live since it wouldn’t matter to you if we ratted Umbrella out or not?” I called from the kitchen as the blond was taking his last few bites. 

“You were still witnesses to my involvement and that information would have been best buried.” he said as he joined me in the kitchen. I leaned against the counter and watched him wash his plate, the muscles in his arms rippling with movement. When I noticed the arm closer to me lifted slightly and flexed, my eyes snapped to his to see him smirking at me. I scoffed at his showing off and turned my head away but didn’t say anything about it. 

“Did you actually have people ready to hurt Barry’s family?” I suddenly asked to change the topic. 

“No, the threat was enough.” he stated and I nodded, feeling at least a little relieved that Kathy and the girls were never in real danger then. Though I doubted Barry would feel the same since like Wesker said, the threat was enough. “Why did you do that?” the blond asked as he gestured to my whole body and I looked down at myself in confusion. There was nothing on my clothes and nothing out of place. “Your body was exceptional before, there was no reason to gain so much mass.” I blushed at his wording and cleared my throat as I folded my arms defensively. 

“Yeah there was.” I muttered more to myself but it seemed to catch his interest since he turned to face me, waiting for me to continue. This wasn’t something I wanted to admit to him but we had an unspoken agreement of a quid pro quo that so far neither of us had broken as long as the topic wasn’t confidential information. So I regrettably told him the honest truth of pushing myself to become as strong as I could. “After I found out you were superhuman, I wanted to be able to fight you on even grounds, or at least give myself the best chance of actually hurting you as I could.” he smirked at that and I groaned at the venomous pride that it carried. 

“You did that all for me?” he teased and I rolled my eyes, my arms tightening around myself. 

“Not… it was…” I fumbled for the right thing to say because, yes he was technically right but I didn’t like how he said that and the implications the words carried. “It was because of you- not for you.” ignoring my argument, he stepped closer to me and I pressed myself farther into the counter behind me. 

“Same thing.” he said with a lowered voice, his red eyes flicking down to my lips for the slightest of moments before returning to the blue of my eyes. My face was already hot but it got even hotter after that. His arms moved to either of my sides to rest on the counter, effectively pinning me in and though he was only three inches taller than me, I felt much smaller right now. My hands instinctively gripped onto his wrists like I was going to remove them but I didn’t. The action left me open and exposed as he leaned in closer to me. “Chirs.” he whispered, so close now I could feel his warm breath that carried my name on my face. 

My mind was clouded and my thoughts swam too fast for me to hold onto any of them. But there was one thing I could still think of and recall so vividly… the Wesker that swallowed my seed before reaching to kiss me. I relived the near desperation for the very long awaited kiss I felt then and wanted it just as badly now. But I knew this was real, not the imaginary Wesker I made up. The man in front of me was still a monster, no matter how nice he was pretending to be and I didn’t want to play along with his game. I didn’t want to be some piece for him to manipulate for whatever scheme he had in motion. I wanted something real and that was something he would never be able to give me. 

“Stop.” my voice was small and pathetic but I managed the simple command. His eyes searched mine and I don’t know if he saw how much I wanted him to kiss me or the pleading expression but he finally leaned back. He let go of the counter and I hadn’t realized how tightly I’d been holding onto his wrists until I had to force myself to let them go to see they had turned slightly red under my grip. If he wasn’t already aware of my conflicted feelings, he certainly had to be now. 

I wordlessly moved away from him to get some space between us. I wanted to go into my room but I didn’t, it felt too much like running away. So I did what I always do in this situation, I distracted myself. I dropped to the floor to start my workout with some pushups. I heard a long sigh before Wesker was next to me, joining in my exercise. He kept at pace with me though I knew for fact he could easily outpace me without breaking a sweat. It was a kind gesture and I took it as a form of an apology as well as him even joining me in the first place. And like that, we were fine again. 

After I was finally ready to call it, Wesker stopped as well. We went our separate ways to take showers and I was pleased to have a blank mind. When I left my room however, I was met with the full view of Wesker’s naked body still in the shower. He was as brilliant in all his glory as I imagined and knew he would be. I didn’t stare or allow him the satisfaction of noticing that I had seen him. I just shut my door and took a few breaths to ease my mind before it could start anything. I finally heard the water shut off and waited an extra few minutes for him to get dried off and dressed. I was suddenly feeling a little envious of Jill and whoever else was on cameras when he showered, getting to watch him without worry of being caught. I’m sure it was just a job to them though, it didn’t mean anything and it wasn’t interesting though anyone could admit to his good looks. But it stirred me up because of these unwanted emotions I unfortunately still had for the man. 

We burned last night’s letter and he handed over the new one which I left on my desk before we found ourselves back on the couch together in silence. It was getting late but I wasn’t tired since I slept in so late. Maybe I’d just go back to my room anyway and watch some tv or something. But I was getting used to being out here more, hiding away in my room seemed more lonely than it had the first few days here. I wasn’t a very social creature, I lived for the work, but I was constantly surrounded by people and cherished my time alone. But I wasn’t used to being alone this much and with the stress of the situation I never really got to enjoy the solitude, it was unwanted anyway so it only put me on edge. Wesker was my only company and I heard it wasn’t uncommon for people to seek out another person even if the attention they got was negative. Maybe I counted myself a little lucky that Wesker wasn’t being negative or hostile at all, he was well behaved, and… I’ve said before that it was almost nice to be around him right now. Maybe I could bring the tv out here so long as I stayed away from the news or anything he could learn from. Me and my biggest enemy chilling on the couch watching movies together… even back in STARS I never imagined that would happen. 

His advances on me still bothered me relentlessly and I wanted to question what the hell he thought he was doing… but I was afraid of the answer. So I wouldn’t ask. After a while the blond realized conversation wasn’t going to happen so he got up to retrieve his notebook before returning to sit with me again instead of writing at his desk. ‘ Would you believe I simply enjoy your company? ’ That’s what he said yesterday… did he feel the weight of isolation too? Is that why he sat out here with me instead of staying in his cell? 

“How much time do you spend around other people?” I asked him and he gave me a sideways glance full of irritation and a look that said ‘so now that I’m working you want to talk’. I just shrugged and he sighed though he didn’t put his notebook down. 

“Enough.” he answered shortly and it was my turn to sigh. I wasn’t sure if he would actually answer me if I pressed for more and it wasn’t important enough for me to try. He seemed intent on his writing, maybe tomorrow’s letter wasn’t done yet. I’d leave him alone. I pulled out my phone to check the news and thought about downloading a stupid game or something but I couldn’t find one that seemed interesting enough to go through the effort. 

I finally caved and went to grab one of the puzzle toys the girls got me. It was two curved bolts with a nut screwed onto all four ends. The trick was to get them apart. I fidgeted with it for a while, turned it this way and that, tried to pry them apart until I worried I might break them. For a minute I thought I might have had one of them but when it wouldn’t come loose, I started to get frustrated. It wasn’t until I scoffed at the thing and lowered it that I noticed red eyes observing my movements with interest and amusement. I sighed in annoyance and wordlessly handed it over to Wesker, knowing he would somehow be able to get the two bolts apart quickly. He put his notebook down on his lap and rested the pen in its spine before taking the toy from me. His slender fingers twisted at two of the screws, seeming to line them up, and then easily slid the nuts past each other. He held the two separated bolts out for me but I didn’t take them back. 

“How?” I demanded as I gawked at him though I had expected it. 

“When I was young my caretakers used to give me such toys to test my problem solving skills and to train my mind.” he answered, still holding it out for me like I was just delayed in taking them but I didn’t have any intention of that. 

“I’m good at problem solving.” I defended myself and he smirked with a nod. 

“With tactical situations, yes. But you can also be impatient and hotheaded which causes you to miss small details like this.” he finally caught on that I wasn’t planning on taking the bolts from him so he quickly put them back together before trying to return them to me again. I had nothing to say to that since it was true… though I didn’t like that he knew that much about me. I knew just as much about him though so I guess that made us even. 

“Show me.” I demanded as I scooted closer so I could watch him work his magic. His smile remained as he also scooted a bit closer to me and again we both pretended not to notice that we were now touching. It was too much for me when Wesker decided to make a direct move but these small moments were almost comfortable. 

“These two have a hidden smooth edge to allow them to slide by each other.” he pointed out the two nuts that had one smoother edge than the others. He was right, it was one of those small details I didn’t catch because I honestly didn’t really care enough about doing it to really try. “Simply align the flat edges to get them apart.” he slid them away from each other and held them in different hands to display it. “You use the same method to put them back together as well.” he stuck them together again and this time when he passed it back to me, I did take it. I mimicked his actions and got the bolts separated just like that. It was such a simple solution, now I felt stupid. 

“I’ll get the next one on my own.” I stated confidently as I went back to my room to switch the puzzle for another before returning to Wesker, sitting just as close as when I left. The blond had placed his notebook on the coffee table now and was waiting for me. This one was a wooden sphere the size of my palm that had multiple pieces constructing it. It’s supposed to be difficult to take apart but even harder to put back together. 

I wasn’t sure how long we were playing with the puzzles but we were working on the fourth now. Wesker patiently watched as I tried to figure them out and only offered hints here and there. I didn’t allow myself to get frustrated with them and actually listened when he reminded me not to overthink it as more often than not these tended to have simple solutions. I did just fine on my own but I did appreciate the subtle clues he would give me when he noticed I was stuck. After we finished it, he yawned again and I blushed as the same thoughts from this morning came back to me. Which then spiraled into thoughts of why it was something to be embarrassed about which led to remembering just how good my secret activity felt and what pushed me over. 

“Go to bed.” I told him as I stood up, taking the puzzle with me. “I’ll keep my music down this time.” saying that implied I would be doing something that required my music be on in the first place… did I intend to masturbate again tonight? I wasn’t really planning on it, especially with where my thoughts had taken me last time… but now that I was thinking about it, I felt a tension inside me that craved it. 

“Alright.” he said with a wicked smirk that he noticeably tried to hide but didn’t quite manage before I saw it. I grew suspicious but didn’t know what to make of it enough to gather any ideas about what it meant. I guess I had gotten used to ‘not overthinking it’ enough over the last while to apply it to this as well. “Goodnight Chris.” he nodded to me in parting and then went into his cell to go lay down. I didn’t linger to watch him as I usually tended to as I was suddenly feeling pent up and just wanted to get to my room. 

I locked my door, put the puzzle back, and went for my headphones in my bag but stopped. Even just thinking about turning on a porno wasn’t doing anything to excite me. I know I should still be disgusted with myself but after what I realized earlier when Wesker made a move on me… I was still ashamed to have these feelings for him but I couldn’t pretend anymore like they didn’t exist. I would never allow myself to be his plaything because… I don’t know, maybe he’s bored. I still was shocked to discover that he swung that way since he didn’t really seem the type but I ignored how that gave me butterflies and I crushed the twinge of hope that rang through me. I wasn’t content with being ‘fun’ for him, I wanted something real and acknowledged that would never happen. So… if I couldn’t have it in real life… maybe it was fine for me to have it in my imagination. There wasn’t really any harm in allowing myself that, was there? 

~~~ 

Funeral 

The bagpipes solemnly played for the fallen officer as the ones closest to him carried his casket to the hole where he would be buried. An officer I didn’t know from the patrol department had been killed in action. STARS was only here for protocol to pay respects to our fallen comrade. I didn’t care for the event, people expected far too much from these things. It was unacceptable to not care about death and I couldn’t bring myself to even bother with faking it. I didn’t know the man, I didn’t know his family, and if anyone hated me over this it wouldn’t hinder my work at all so I saw no reason to waste the effort. My reputation as a cold and serious man should at least serve me well here. I watched the proceeding in silence, wanting to be back at the office or at home. At least we weren’t expected to attend the after service so I could leave after this. 

I stared off at nothing in particular, lost in my own thoughts as the pastor rambled off last rites and people took turns giving speeches about the man. I didn’t care to listen to any of it, opting to preoccupy my mind with planning out how I would bring my team out of the slump that was sure to follow this unfortunate event. Perhaps we could take the helicopter out to the mountains for some search and rescue training. It had been a while since we had done that though we haven’t had any related cases, it was important to keep in practice. My team always loved taking the helicopter anywhere, always acting like children on Christmas morning over it. Not to mention the hiking, rappelling, and other exercises that were involved with this training, it was all like playtime for them. Yes, I believe that would do well to lift their spirits and if there was any lingering negativity I could always bring in donuts since that always got a desirable reaction. I should prepare for that just in case and bring donuts along during the training for everyone to enjoy during a break. They’ll of course know I’m spoiling them but no one would call me out on it because they’ll appreciate it enough to avoid risking it not happening again. 

Then I noticed Chris lift his hand to wipe at his eye quickly before returning to his attentive stance. That’s odd. Chris wasn’t one to get over emotional in the face of the public, he believed the military and law enforcement were pillars of sorts for everyone else to rely on so he wouldn’t have any weakness on display here. So why was he crying where so many could see? He was a man of action who didn’t do well in idle for long because he was impatient at times. But he was a strong soldier that was able to keep his emotions in check when he needed to, especially for the sake of someone else. I’m sure he was upset over this death but it wasn’t as if this was the first funeral of a fellow officer he had attended. That led to the conclusion that this must be personal. He never moved to make a speech and he never approached the widow to give his personal condolences so I could reasonably assume he hadn’t been very close to the man. But he had at least been friends with him for his emotions to get away from him like this. To him, this wasn’t just another lost comrade but the loss of a friend. 

I watched him for the remaining duration of the funeral but his face remained hardened and he stared only at the casket. As the service was being brought to a close and the civilians began to leave, Chris finally stepped forward to place a careful hand on the coffin. 

“Goodbye.” I heard his soft whisper. His lip trembled slightly but he bit down on it to keep it still as he offered a salute and walked away. I paid my respects quickly so I could catch up to Chris’s retreating form. I was sure he was going to attend the after service which I had no intention of doing so I had to do this now. I checked to be sure no one was around his vehicle as I approached him just as he opened the driver side door. 

“Chris.” I called to stop him from getting in and he turned to me with a tired irritation in his eyes like he was really hoping to get away without anyone interacting with him. His eyes were already reddening but he steeled himself for our conversation, his stance losing its slight slouch and his jaw setting to keep from showing any minor tremble. 

“Yes captain?” his voice was tense and dry. I could tell he wanted me to leave him alone and I didn’t fully understand why I had sought him out in the first place. I shouldn’t want to comfort him, no one would fault me if I didn’t. But I couldn’t deny this strange sentimental urge or the odd sense of pain I felt at witnessing his state so the best way to rid myself of it was to act on it. The sooner I did it, the sooner it would dissipate. 

“I’m sorry for your loss.” I told him simply but his eyes widened and he looked around as if to check that we were alone. 

“No one’s said that to me.” he stated numbly with a humorless chuckle as he rubbed at his neck, his eyes downcast. It seemed not many knew he had been friends with the fallen officer so no one had bothered to treat him as if he had lost as well. Of course when an officer died it was felt by all but there was a difference when it was a friend as well. “Of course you would pick up on it.” he muttered more to himself. I continued to watch him as he cleared his throat. “Thanks but I’m fine. His family is suffering more than I am.” 

“Perhaps.” I nodded, not turning away from him. “But I’m sure they have plenty of others to help them through this trial. Who do you have?” I noticed his lip tremble again and he was blinking away fresh tears. I placed a hand on his shoulder and he finally met my gaze. “You did a good job keeping yourself together out there but you don’t have to be strong for me.” I informed him with a soft tone. Chris shouldn’t have to play the role of the tough guy with me, I didn’t need his support nor did I want him thinking I viewed his sorrow as a weakness. It was human and genuine, it was a piece of what made Chris who he was. His eyes searched mine though I’m unsure of how much he could actually see of them. After a few silent moments, a tear slid down the brunet’s cheek and I watched it descend. 

“Thank you Wesker.” he could only manage a whisper as he nodded slowly in understanding.  He made no move to wipe away the wetness from his face so I did it for him. 

“Of course.” I answered almost kindly. He shouldn’t have to be alone through this, he needed to know that people cared for him. But that begged the question of why it was I that was here for him. What did that insinuate?

Chapter Text

I woke up feeling genuinely better for once, both physically and mentally. I sat up in bed and looked around my temporary room, not feeling the same despair I usually did and smiled to myself. One week down, three to go, I could do this. I cleaned the fleshlight I had used again, worked out, and showered but before I left my room, I caught the letter on my desk. I cursed to myself for not reading ‘Funeral’ last night before sitting in my chair to do that before Wesker found out. Would he even care? I wasn’t sure but he was going through the effort of having each one ready every night so I felt bad that I hadn’t done my part in reading it. It was short anyway so it didn’t take me long to get through it. I carried it out with me, leaving it on the coffee table for Wesker to get around to burning whenever he wanted. 

Wesker’s door was still closed and I actually found myself wanting to go knock on it to see what he was up to. I didn’t even bother to tell myself any excuses about it being because of any type of suspicion or that I should be keeping my eye on him, I just wanted the company… his company. But I didn’t bother him because I knew he would know why I did it. So I busied myself making something small to eat as I wasn’t very hungry yet but I wanted to show Wesker that I wasn’t going to keep relying on him. I’ll admit it was nice having him cook for me but I was perfectly capable of doing things for myself. I didn’t bother making enough for the blond as well since he just ate yesterday and wouldn’t need to again for another day or two. 

I had the time to finish eating and do all the dishes and Wesker still hadn’t come out of his cell. I sat on the couch, pretending to be reading something in the news on my phone though my attention was stuck to the door on my right. Surely he knew I was up, it’s not like I had been quiet and even if I was he would have heard me anyway. Maybe he was taking a shower… I didn’t hear the water running. Maybe he was just too busy writing or something… but he preferred to do things out here with me. Maybe he wanted to be alone right now for some reason… but he said he enjoyed my company and nothing happened between us that would warrant either of us to avoid one another. I’d even dare to say we were on good terms and this would be the time for him to try to get closer to me since he knew I was allowing it… sort of. 

I hadn’t noticed my finger tapping against my folded arm, my phone forgotten, until the tempo and strength behind it made the joints ache. That’s it. I stood and walked to his door, pausing for a moment as I thought about what I was going to say to him. I was angry… why? It’s not like we made plans and he was standing me up or anything… he wasn’t doing anything wrong by staying in his cell and I shouldn’t care what he was doing. So why did I? Why was I angry at him for keeping me waiting for him as if my day only started when he walked into it? I didn’t bother knocking, reminding myself that it wasn’t his bedroom- it was his prison cell and I was his warden. 

I opened my mouth to say something when I froze at the sight before me. Wesker lay shirtless on his bed, the blanket only covered the bottom half of his body and his inhuman eyes were closed. He lay on his side facing the room, one arm under the pillow where his head rested against it and the other hanging over his torso. His hair was out of the usual style to fall over the pillowcase, having gone long enough without any hair gel to aid it in remembering how it was supposed to stay. Under the blanket, I could tell his knees were slightly bent which left a small spot in front of him where I could sit if I wanted to but I shook that thought from my mind. I looked back up his body, tracing the light curve in his position, and found his eyes fluttering open. They found mine right away and blinked a few times as thoughts ran over them to catch up with what was happening. When he was done processing the situation, he sat up and ran a hand over his hair to attempt to get it to go back and stay that way which most of it did though a few strands fell over his forehead. I expected him to make some comment about me waking him up or being here at all but he didn’t, just asked what time it was. 

“I uh… I don’t know.” I admitted, my eyes still hungrily raking over his bare torso. I didn’t care if he noticed, I thought it was pretty clear where we stood. I was attracted to him and he, for some still unknown but probably twisted reason, wanted me. We both knew and he wasn’t hiding it so I wasn’t going to anymore either. If he was going to put himself on display then I was going to look and I was at least going to pretend to be confident about it like I didn’t care that he saw me staring… like right now. He leaned back with his hands behind him on the bed for support to reveal the whole length of his torso and watched for my reaction to his open invitation. Though my face heated up and my heart rate increased, I stood my ground and didn’t look away. We both stayed still for a long moment before he smirked and pulled the blanket off to stand. My eyes traced over his bare legs before sticking maybe a little too long over the crotch of the boxers he wore. I always thought he was more of a briefs kind of guy especially with all of the tight clothing he wore but I wore boxers so that’s what I bought for him. 

“Was there something you needed of me?” he asked as he moved to the dresser to pull out a pair of sweatpants though he didn’t put them on yet as he walked over to his sink, throwing me a glance over his shoulder. 

“Um…” I was taken aback by the question because though I walked in, I hadn’t actually thought about what I was going to say. What justification did I have for coming in here other than the truth I couldn’t tell him of wanting to spend time with him? He wet his hands and ran them through his hair to keep it in place better. I watched his hands work, not realizing that I had stepped further in- closer to him until my hands reached up to grab his to stop him. He turned his head to look at me curiously. I hadn’t meant to but now that I was here, I wasn’t going to let him see that this was an impulsive action. I lowered his hands away from his head before releasing them to replace them with my own. My fingers slowly worked his wet hair into a more casual style, not as formal as he usually kept it but not messy either. Something I hoped he would like or at least accept while he wasn’t able to keep it how he liked. 

I kept my eyes on the blond hair between my fingers and I would deny that I was taking my time to play with it a bit. I smiled to myself as I remembered the first and only other time I’ve touched his hair after he lost that bet and I had him in casual attire for the day. Both times I was messing his hair up to restyle it and pretending I wasn’t enjoying every bit of it. My fingers running through his silky hair that while wettened caught the light to appear completely golden, a small smile of contentment on my face, and his eyes watching me in a mix of curiosity and amusement. 

Finally calling it good, my hands drifted at the sides of his head longer than would be acceptable though it was better than touching his face like I wanted to. Just like back then, he didn’t say anything to stop the touch. I couldn’t see his eyes last time and though they weren’t the eyes of a human anymore, I wondered if this was the same expression wore when he observed my motions before. I understood the typical looks from him but there was something else in his eyes right now… a kind of fondness… something almost soft. Maybe he was also recalling the other time this had happened. How he was looking at me made my heart flutter with emotion and I wanted to kiss him. The desire made me frown as my eyes shifted down and my hands slipped from him. 

“You turn the loveliest shade of red in these moments.” he whispered to me, drawing my widened eyes back to his and I took notice of the tiniest of smiles on his lips. I took a step away from him at that. He was just flirting and I was playing right into what he wanted from me- I needed to stop this! There was a difference between not hiding that I wanted him and leaving my feelings for him on display! I had to draw an emotional line and stop allowing myself to cross it! 

“I left the letter on the table for you.” I told him as I walked away, opting to go back to my room for at least a few minutes in order to calm down. I did some breathing to slow my heart from racing and checked the mirror to ensure I wasn’t red anymore before I exited again. Wesker was dressed when I returned to our shared space, standing with the latest letter in hand as his eyes skimmed it though he looked up to me when he heard my door open again. I smiled a bit to myself when I saw he left his hair how I made it. 

“Would you like to assist me?” he asked smoothly as he gestured to the kitchen and I nodded before following him. He grabbed the metal trash can and held the paper over it so I grabbed the lighter to set fire to one of the edges and watched it spread over the white pages. As if knowing how I liked to watch the flames engulf the paper, Wesker held them up for me until the flames reached too close to his fingers so he finally dropped them into the bin. I continued to listen to the fire crackle as I watched it burn, not realizing how close I was to Wesker until I lifted my head to come face to face with him. Neither of us moved. “Why are you so interested in these fires?” he asked with a soft tone. 

“I don’t know, it’s like a piece of you burning away.” I answered with a lazy shrug of one shoulder, still not moving or looking away. 

“And that’s a good thing?” he questioned, a bit of a suspicious edge to his low voice. I chuckled and finally backed up. 

“Well I like to imagine the bad memories are being destroyed and the good ones are being set free.” I told him as he put the bin back in its new place. 

“How sentimental of you.” he smiled at me but I didn’t return it. He was right… I shouldn’t be thinking of anything redeeming about him, he didn’t deserve it. I was getting too comfortable. I needed to pull back before he took advantage of this obvious weakness. 

“So I was thinking about Racoon City and your losses again.” I changed the topic as I moved around him to make some toast for a quick lunch since my breakfast was small. 

“Oh?” was all he said as he leaned on the counter and folded his arms across his chest. I felt his inhuman eyes following me but rather than feeling either threatened or studied in some way, it wasn’t anything. It was just casual… he wasn’t observing me or judging me, he was just giving me his attention as I made my lunch and started a new conversation with him. Maybe I wasn’t the only one getting too comfortable. That was actually a rather pleasant thought. I found myself once again feeling like maybe this wouldn’t be such a bad month and we were already a week in. 

“Well since the last letter was about a funeral, it had me thinking about how you didn’t get to go to William’s funeral since there wasn’t one and all.” I cringed at myself for that sentence, the whole thing being unnecessary but I was still trying to collect myself again. Weak excuse but there it was. “I was thinking that Sherry is a living piece of William so if you regret not helping him, maybe you could help her.” I explained though it was only a piece of what had been brewing in my mind. 

“I believe I’ve helped her enough.” 

“Do you know what happened to her after Racoon City?” I raised a brow at him, only sparing him a glance before going back to what I was doing. 

“Just that she was taken in by the American government. Do you know where she is now?” he countered and I mentally slapped myself. I felt like if I was going to bring this up I should’ve had more information but that was about as much as I knew too. Would it even be wise to give him any information on Sherry? I don’t think he would do anything to her but still, he’s the enemy and whatnot. 

“I only know what Claire told me.” I informed him with a sheepish look. “I was just wondering how close to her you were since you made it seem like her parents wanted you in her life in your letter.” 

“I was in her life, I was her godfather.” I turned back to him sharply in shock. “Don’t look at me like that. I never wanted that responsibility but I still took it seriously.” he looked a little displeased at sharing the information but I didn’t doubt it for a minute. It wasn’t shocking that he took the responsibility seriously, he took everything seriously. It was shocking that someone gave him that responsibility in the first place though I supposed William considered Wesker to be his closest friend and knew how reliable he was. It was shocking to think of Wesker in any sort of a parental situation since he didn’t like children. Even on our STARS  cases that involved kids he always had someone else deal with them, usually Jill since kids tend to be more trusting and comfortable with women. Still… I’d pay to see him acting like a father to a small child. It’d be cute. 

“Yet you don’t know where she’s been for the last eleven years.” I jabbed to hide the light blush that crept to my face due to some unwanted thoughts about him… and me… and kids. I don’t know where that thought process came from but the sooner I got rid of it the better. 

“And that’s for the best. Do you honestly think she would have been better off if I had kidnapped and raised her around my work?” I didn’t answer because there wasn’t one for that. No, I don’t think it would have been good for her or anyone to be around Wesker… yet here I was. “Therefore even in the decision to let her go, I was still acting in her best interest as her godfather.” there was a short silence between us as I took that in. Was he basically acknowledging that what he did for work was wrong? “You’ve met her, you know?” he continued which took me out of my head… and then put me right back into it on a different train. 

“I have?” I asked in surprise as I moved my food to the table to eat. The blond man followed me, sitting in his chair as I took mine. 

“Yes, there was a time she showed up at the police station to see me because she was angry at her parents and claimed to be running away.” I thought about that for a long time, trying to remember but I didn’t know what she looked like so it was hard to figure it out. So I tried to focus on the case but STARS didn’t deal with runaways… or kids in general except for the really tragic times kids were involved in the kind of cases that got assigned to us. But it was fair to assume this wasn’t anything like that. So I tried to remember any odd occurrences involving kids I could recall and only one instance came to mind. Even though it was such a distant and brief memory, it was memorable because of the oddity of it. A small blond girl came directly into the STARS office sobbing. We didn’t know what to do with her and any time we tried to get anything out of her, she said she didn’t talk to strangers. We tried to assure her it was okay since we were police officers but she was adamant that she would only talk to Wesker. We were all confused about how she knew him, how she got there without direction, and what was going on that was severe enough for this little girl to need the attention of our captain. It wasn’t much longer until he came back and wordlessly swept the girl into his arms and carried her into his office, closing the door behind him. They were in there for about half an hour before they emerged only to leave. Wesker returned after another half hour to simply tell us that had been a personal matter that he didn’t want any questions on. We all made theories about it like usual but he never mentioned it nor would allow any questions and we never saw her again so eventually we all forgot about it. 

“That was her?” I asked in surprise and he confirmed it. I nodded to myself a bit, still thinking about my brief encounter with the little girl. Well now I had a face to go with the name. 

“Your sister found her in the police station where Chief Irons abducted her for ransom from William. I believe she went there looking for me when her parents never returned home and people began to turn into zombies.” he seemed to have more to say about that but trailed off and got lost in thought. “I’m actually very grateful to your sister for getting her out of there when I couldn’t.” he finally finished and I nodded a bit, not knowing what to say to that. I never knew what to say when Wesker was acting even the slightest bit emotional over something because it was just so rare and always took me by surprise. It was clear he cared for Sherry even if it was in his own way and I had to brush away thoughts of trying to track her down for him just so he could know she was alright. I had no doubt that Leon could find out for me… no, I couldn’t do that. Wesker was probably considered a security risk for her so there was no way I was going to willingly seek out information on her specifically for him. 

I finished my simple breakfast and got up to wash my plate, my eyes glancing up to Wesker every once and a while to watch as he moved to the couch to wait for me. I was about to say something else when my phone buzzed in my pocket. The conversation wasn’t important enough for me to ignore her so I pulled the slim device from its place to see who else wanted my attention. 

Jill: You need to lock Wesker in at night 

I knew this was going to happen eventually but it wasn’t a conversation I wanted to have right now. 

Chris: Not like it does anything
Jill: You’re getting too comfortable
Chris: I’m just making it easier on myself
Jill: I think he’s up to something you need to be careful
Chris: What’s going on
Jill: I just got in but I was told he’s been standing outside your door for the last two nights 

The last two nights… outside my door… I’ve masturbated the last two nights. He knew… more than that, he was actively listening. He purposefully stood outside my door for two nights to listen to me pleasure myself to thoughts of him… at least he didn’t know that last part. This was… I felt humiliated, anxious, and excited. He knew what I was doing and he liked it enough to come back for more. He even stealthily got me to turn down my music so he could hear me better! My whole body felt hot and I wanted to rush over to him and… I couldn’t tell if I wanted to punch him or kiss him. Maybe both. But the embarrassment was strong enough to keep me still. 

Chris: Thanks for letting me know
Chris: I’ll be careful
Jill: Are you okay
Jill: You two have been getting close
Jill: I’m getting worried
Chris: We’ll talk about it later 

Should I bring this up with Wesker or keep it to myself that I knew he was listening in on me? What would he do if I told him? Would he take his advances on me a step further? Did I want that? My body ached longingly in response but my mind lectured me that he was the enemy. It was my heart that settled the argument between the conflicting reasonings. I’d said it before but I wanted this to be real, not just some trick to get what he wanted or a fling we shared for this short time. I wanted more than that but Wesker would never feel the same, would never settle down, and would never be to give me what I want. My heart hurt thinking about doing anything with him because I knew it would only be temporary and it would only be me that felt anything. He would abandon me and break my heart again and I couldn’t go through any more of that from him. So no, I didn’t want him to try anything else with me. I needed to shut that down. I decided not to bring it up, it really wasn’t a conversation I wanted to have anyway. I still didn’t want to lock him in again, though my reasonings were mostly excuses, they were true. But I swore to myself that I wasn’t going to be masturbating again anytime soon. 

I peered over to him just to meet his eye. He was looking at me with sinfully narrowed eyes and a knowing smirk. Did he know that I just found out or was he just looking at me like that because I was still blushing and he was planning to make a move? He got up and walked into his cell, I heard the sound of tearing paper before he came back out with a book. Whatever it was, he didn’t say anything about it and neither did I and he seemed to understand that I no longer wanted to talk. I did still sit on the couch with him, trying to act as if everything was normal just in case he didn’t know. But I didn’t know what to do. My face was still hot thinking about what he heard and it only took a few minutes for me to make some lame excuse that would put me in my room where I planned to stay. 

“Tonight’s letter is on my desk if you want to take it with you.” there was that arrogant smirk I was familiar with and a surge of anger rolled in me from the sight of it. I did my best to ignore it as I walked into his cell to grab the papers atop his desk and walk back out. When did that become so easy for me? I’d only been in there a few times and aside from today, it had always been stressful even if I did notice it fading. I chose to ignore that as well and went straight to my room only to pause in my doorway when Wesker’s voice called out to me. “Sleep well tonight.” I didn’t look back at him, knowing what kind of expression he would be wearing just from the sultry tone to his voice. I stepped into my room, shut my door, and locked it. He knew. 

I didn’t want to read his letter right now, it was titled ‘Pet’ and though I couldn’t see Wesker owning a pet, I guess he did at some point. I’d read it later, it wasn’t that late in the day and I felt like hiding in bed right now so that’s what I did. 

~~~ 

Pet 

It was understandable for Chris to be at my beck and call since I was his captain but he always seemed to follow me with extra vigor. He admired me though he was never afraid to tell me if he disagreed with my orders. Given his record in the Air Force, I expected this and was fine with it. As a scientist, I was accustomed to debates and challenges of such a nature and could even find them progressive. As long as no one crossed the line into insubordination, I was willing to listen to their arguments. 

I didn’t frequently get invited out with everyone since they all knew I would deny but when I did, it was usually Chris that did it. I wasn’t sure if it was because he was the one thinking of me or if everyone else sent him to do it. Sometimes I wondered if they knew he was my favorite but I don’t recall ever showing any signs of it since I was strictly against favoritism. If anything I would have been harder on him than the others because I expected more of him. Maybe it was a simple case of him being more willing to press me even if I was in a foul mood. That was far more likely as he had a talent for that. 

I never owned a pet, never had an interest to either, but I sometimes thought that perhaps the way Chris looked at me when I praised him was the appeal people saw in having one. So at some point, at least in my own mind, I began to address him as such. He was my loyal dog that listened and followed when told, only speaking out if he felt something was wrong, watching my back when there was danger, and resting with me in the quiet moments. There were also the less desirable qualities of a pet as well such as the trouble he would cause when he was bored and the responsibility for his behavior fell on me as his owner. That’s what it was like to own a pet, was it not? It was as close to the experience as I ever cared to get and it was enough for me. 

I believe the first real time I found myself caring for Chris was when I nearly watched him get torn to shreds by cerberus, such was the fate of Joseph. Of course I had saved his, and the other’s, lives before but those were calculated acts- part of my role, if you will. It wouldn’t do to allow my unit to die since we were all taught to protect each other and I wasn’t going through the effort of training them all further just to have them perish when I could have spared them. That’s all it was, a job. But that job had shifted and now it was time to let them all die, to kill them with my own hands if need be. I had wanted as many in the mansion as possible for more varied combat data on our experiments but one less wouldn’t have been of consequence. I could have rushed to help Joseph but I didn’t and I saw Jill being attacked but chose not to act though Chris had come to her rescue. It wasn’t until a cerberus was leaping at Chris that my body reacted. I had shot it away and called out to him before I even realized what I had done. I hadn’t intended to save him, it had been purely instinctual though it had not been for the others. 

This simple act stirred up an inner turmoil that continued to plague me over the years. I tried to deny it but I found myself rather incapable of putting down my pet. Even after all that had happened, he was still loyal to me though the definition of that loyalty had shifted. Wherever there was mention of me, he would be there. He still followed me without hesitation and that brought on its own amusement that I didn’t want to be without. I made excuses to myself for why I didn’t kill him but that was the strongest, he provided a form of entertainment for me. It wasn’t until our encounter at the Spencer mansion that I understood the true reason I didn’t want him dead but I believe it was that accidental act of saving him from that infected dog that began the process of the discovery. However much he stood in my way and however deeply I still hated him, I was glad for his existence. 

Chris, at the point that I give you this letter you will have discovered that I’ve been listening in on your nighttime activities. I don’t expect it to take long since Jill or someone else will no doubt inform you. I expect you to act as though nothing has changed but I refuse. Though if you insist, I’ll play along so long as you turn off the music and give me something to really listen to. 

Chapter Text

A brilliant heat overtook my face when I finished reading the letter. There was so much about it that I wanted to question but I was so flustered over the note he left for me at the end that I couldn’t think straight. I was embarrassed and furious over it! Not only had he been listening in on me like a creep but he was calling me out on it! I was so angry I couldn’t even begin to think about how him wanting more from me got me a bit excited because how dare he toy with me like that! 

I stood up from my chair so quickly that it toppled over though I didn’t care as I marched to my door. I didn’t even think about what Wesker was doing right now or where he was- I just wanted this horrible, manipulative, creepy, awful letter in my clenched fist to no longer exist. I stormed into the kitchen and threw the pages into the metal bin before grabbing my lighter from the counter. When I turned back to light them up, the blond man I was very angry with stood before me with a vicious smirk on his sinful lips. 

“That’s quite the reaction.” he mused gleefully. He stepped closer to me and as if my face couldn’t get any brighter, the heat was still increasing with his proximity. I refused to stand down or show shyness from his advance since that’s what he wanted. “What did you think of my note?” he asked seductively as he inched close enough that we were nearly chest to chest, his face so close to mine I could feel his breath on my face. I’m sure he could hear my heart beating frantically as if it could reach out to him but I hoped he took all this as embarrassment rather than longing. 

“I think it was more of an invitation.” I stated back harshly, not meaning to take the small step back that I did. His smile grew so I could see his teeth seeming to be bared at me like he was going to devour me. I was afraid, not of him necessarily but of the pounding of my heart I could feel all over my body and of the heat coursing through my body and gathering in my abdomen. I was afraid of what might happen if I slipped up for even a second and my body acted on my desires for him since he was looking at me so possessively and offering himself to me so willingly. I was afraid of doing something I couldn’t take back, something that wouldn’t only change our complicated relationship but my own self in some fundamental way. I was afraid of the pain I knew would engulf me forever if I allowed this temporary bliss. It already hurt knowing my former captain had no idea what he was doing to me. It hurt evermore thinking that maybe he did and this was just another way he wanted to break me. 

“Perceptive.” he complimented me but really it was so obvious anyone would have seen it. “Just accept it.” his sultry voice whispered as he finally closed the small gap between us to press his body to mine. An arm wrapped around my waist and his fingers slipped under the hem of my shirt to spread fire over my skin at his touch. I felt every nerve in my body set off at once. Anger, desire, guilt, need, pain, and bliss all swirled through me like a whirlwind of fire and ice. I barely noticed him leaning just that tiny bit closer needed to connect our lips but I felt the overwhelming need to press even harder to him, wrap my arms around his body, and cling to him as I kissed him with everything I was to dispel the turmoil brewing in me. And I almost did. But at the last second, pain erupted in my forehead after I threw it forward to collide with his as hard as I could. He only recoiled slightly but he did release me and back away, now glaring at me. I glared back and panted hard as I focused only on my anger. 

“Don’t fucking touch me again.” I growled through my clenched teeth. I wanted to do so much more- punch him until my knuckles bled, kiss him until my lips were sore, scream at him until my voice went hoarse, touch him until I knew every line of his body, beat him down until he begged me to stop, love him until he begged for more. It was too muddled together, I couldn’t act one way without releasing the other. So I turned my attention back to the letter, quickly lighting it on fire and watching it just long enough to ensure it caught and spread before keeping eye contact with Wesker as it burned. The message was clear. This is what I thought of his letter- his invitation. I didn’t want it to exist. He continued to glare at me, not willing to back down from the challenge I posed but he wasn’t extending it by continuing to advance on me anyway. At least he got the message and in his own way was respecting my rejection even if he wasn’t taking it well. I left him then, with the letter still burning, and stormed off back to my room. I was preparing to slam the door when I heard a sigh and from the corner of my eye I noticed Wesker slouch against the counter, his sad eyes lighting up against the small flame he gazed into. I didn’t care- I didn’t care! 

My door clicked shut without an angry slam and I threw myself back onto my bed. My phone was buzzing and I knew it was probably Jill but I didn’t want to talk to her right now so I let it go to voicemail. A minute later and it vibrated once with a text. Figuring I could at least do that, I checked it though my eyes first found the time to see it was the early morning hours. I was hoping to get another peaceful night of rest but I knew it wasn’t going to happen now. Just when I thought we were falling into a nice pace, he just couldn’t help but fuck it up, could he? 

Jill: Want to talk about it 

I really didn’t want to… but I really did at the same time. The swirling emotions were still raging in me but grief had found its way to the forefront of it all. I felt as if I had just lost something though I don’t understand why or what it was. The possibility of being with Wesker even if it was just temporary? No, I’m sure if I were to leave my room again to come onto him he would readily accept it. I was so confused and alone but I knew I wasn’t alone, Jill was my best friend and Claire was my only family left- both would love me no matter what and I knew I could always rely on them. I felt so weak as tears slipped from my eyes but I called Jill anyway. Her voice was soft and caring when she greeted me, she wasn’t angry over what happened like I thought she might be. Maybe she understood some of the confusion I felt, which made me feel better. 

We talked for a long time. I didn’t intend to go into much depth but I did, the words just flowing out of me. I started at the beginning. I admitted to having a crush on Wesker back in STARS only to realize as I watched him die that it was more than that- that I loved him. I told her about my isolated mourning of his death while feeling disgusted for wanting him back after his betrayal. I was angry after meeting him again on Rockford Island because I had buried my grief under my hatred but I couldn’t deny that I was relieved even if he was now the very thing I was fighting to destroy. I explained my inner struggle with his very existence as the years pressed on. I didn’t think about him most of the time but whenever he came up, a mixture of hatred and longing never failed to stir within me. 

Jill was silent as I spoke, patient when I had to pause to collect myself, and soothing as she told me it was alright when I apologized for my state. I told her about the major depression I fell into after they were gone and that I was mourning for both of them, again conflicted on missing Wesker. I told her of the overwhelming relief I felt when I learned she was alive and concluded our enemy must be as well. I spoke of the gratitude I felt for him after learning he had personally saved her life and delivered her back to me. 

I admitted to thinking being stuck in here with him wasn’t so bad and I found that I was even enjoying myself at times. He was acting so much like the strict but caring captain I thought we lost- if he ever even existed. He was being open and even helpful, it was getting harder for me to believe that he wasn’t being real with me. There was a piece of me that wanted to believe that he wanted me here just because he wanted to spend time with me. All the feelings of love I denied I felt for him were bombarding me from every direction and I didn’t know what to do. It was easy enough to just play nice but suddenly learning he wanted me sexually during this stay was messing me up in so many ways. But I just couldn’t go there because I wasn’t sure I could come back from it. It was thrilling when he was near me and I wanted to let him have me, god I wanted it, but I wasn’t sure what would be left of me after he inevitably left me again. 

“I don’t know what to do Jill.” I muttered as I rubbed at my eyes again. “It’s confusing and it hurts.” though I’d been trying to stop crying, the tears that continued down my face had their own plans. I knew it was good to finally get this all out and Jill would never think me weak because of it but I never did like crying. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t see your suffering and try harder to help you through it before.” was her soft response and I shook my head as I sniffled and blinked my eyes rapidly. 

“I didn’t want you to.” I told her. 

“I’m going to be here for you now.” she assured me, her tone a bit stronger. “I… I understand a lot of the mixed feelings right now… I mean I’ve hated him for so long for all the horrible things he’s done but he saved my life. Everything he’s doing right now is weird and confusing but I can’t help but feel like it’s right somehow.” I felt a weight lift from my chest at her admittance. She felt it too. Of course we were still suspicious of him but somehow we knew he wasn’t going to try anything, that he was being genuine in his surrender. At least until the terms were met and then who knew what he would plan for next. But what if he wasn’t planning anything after this month was over, what if he just remained in this prison? He’d be all alone… I thought about coming to see him from time to time when I wasn’t busy. It didn’t seem right, Albert Wesker rotting away in some cell, left to be forgotten? Something about it didn’t sit well in my mind. Maybe we could try to make some sort of truce with him, he could work in the labs to create vaccines like Rebecca or… maybe he could eventually be trusted enough to work out in the field with me. 

“Yeah.” was all I could say as I nodded slightly, my tears finally slowing. 

“I don’t think he’s going to try anything else with you, you sent a pretty clear message and I don’t see Wesker being the type to force himself on you. If he did, I’d be right there to gun him down after you already had him full of holes.” she sniggered lightly and I hummed in amusement, wiping my face dry for what I hoped was the last time. “Honestly,” Jill sighed. “he seems kinda depressed right now.” that struck a chord in me, one that reverberated sadness. It lined up with that last glance I had gotten of him. I wondered what he thought about the whole thing and what he was thinking now. We both knew we were attracted to each other and he tried for sex and I got angry over it… then he got depressed? That implied he cared that I rejected him… and I didn’t- couldn’t care. It had to be stopped and I couldn’t let my mind make up false feelings where there were none for me. He was upset because I didn’t give him what he wanted and maybe because he realized he may have just screwed up how easy things have been between us. Suddenly I understood all of those cheesy dramas where one person doesn’t want to confess their feelings to the other out of fear of changing things. You tell yourself it won’t change anything but it does. 

We talked for a little while longer about lighter subjects until Jill’s shift was ending with morning now in full swing and shifts changing. Usually she didn’t work overnight but her schedule had been switched around a bit with the regular grave monitor since her therapy had been interrupting her normal schedule. She said it was going well, she was working through the haze of what happened though she once again said that she didn’t need it. Yes it was scary for her to face almost dying and especially waking up during her own surgeries but overall, she thought that what happened to her was a good thing since Wesker saved her life and turned himself in. Her therapist begged to differ, saying that the whole act of sacrificing oneself can leave lasting effects or something, she started to say ‘yadda yadda’ and shrugged the whole thing off. If there was something she wanted to talk about, she would call me later about it once she thought I had enough time to fully recover from everything we just talked about. 

“Go home and take care of yourself.” I told her as I rolled onto my side, my eyes feeling extra heavy. 

“I can still talk.” she reassured me though her voice was a little distant like she was holding her phone to her ear with her shoulder as she did something else. I heard her muffled voice talking to someone else, probably the person coming to relieve her. I knew they updated each other on things that happened during their watch and what to look for and I wondered what Jill had told the other agent about what happened last night. Even though it had been recorded for whoever wanted to go back through the footage to watch it, I knew my best friend wouldn’t directly tell anyone without need. It’s not like anyone actually watched the old footage unless something were to happen anyway, that’s why someone was always watching live. No one would know what happened last night but the three of us, we were just lucky Jill was working tonight. 

This was wrong… I felt like we were doing something forbidden but I didn’t do anything wrong. Wesker came onto me and I rejected him. Was I afraid someone would see how much I wanted him and be disgusted with me? I didn’t usually care what others thought of me but in this case I could be seen as compromised and if the BSAA started to doubt me, my position or even my job could be at risk- my whole life could be turned inside out if they thought Wesker had gotten into my head enough. What if that was his real plan? The very thought chilled me to my core. That would truly be the best way to break and ruin me… and from what I’ve experienced with him, that was his whole goal with me. Of all my theories so far, it made the most sense. 

“Really Jill, I’m fine now.” I told her when her attention returned to me. “You’re busy and I’m tired. Thank you for talking to me.” I spoke sincerely and honestly. My eyes were sore from crying and heavy with emotional exhaustion and lack of sleep. 

“Okay, okay.” she relented. “I’ll call you later to check in, hang in there.” 

“Alright.” I was about to move my phone from my head to hang up when her next words froze me in place. 

“I love you Chris.” it wasn’t the first time we had exchanged the intimate words but we rarely did as we tended to reserve that level of tenderness for those extra important moments when it was most needed. Fresh tears welled in my eyes, I didn’t realize how desperately I needed to hear that right now. 

“I love you too Jill.” I tried to hide the slight hiccup to my raw voice but I’m sure she heard it. 

“Get some sleep big guy.” she said lovingly and I nodded even though she couldn’t see me. The call ended so I shut off my phone. I stared at the wall for a moment and wished there was a window I could see out of. I knew it was morning but it was still pitch black in my room without the light on. I wanted to see the sun. I stared as if I could burn a hole through the wall to reach the outside world until my eyelids were too heavy to lift anymore. My eyes slid shut and I fell into a deeper darkness. 

… … … 

I don’t know how long I was asleep but it didn’t feel like long until I was jostled awake by my phone going off. It was Claire. I didn’t really feel like talking to anyone right now, just wanting to be dead to the world but it was Claire so of course I answered. 

“Hey.” I greeted lazily. 

“Hey Chris.” my sister returned happily. “Happy one week anniversary of you being locked up with Wesker.” she joked and I internally cringed at the mention of the other man but managed a chuckle. 

“Thanks but shouldn’t you have called yesterday for this? This is my eighth day, the start of week two.” I clarified and she sighed more to herself. 

“Maybe but I got held up with something else.” she explained lamely. “I’m just calling to check in and make sure you’re still alive.” I frowned at the playful tone she used, no doubt to try to raise my spirits about the shitty situation I found myself in. I would have responded positively to that just yesterday… why couldn’t she have called yesterday? “Chris?” her voice was worried at my lack of an answer. 

“I’m hanging in.” I told her with a deep sigh of my own. “I already had a big talk with Jill about it not too long ago so I’d rather not get into it again right now.” there was a brief pause and I could imagine her nodding in understanding at me. 

“Right!” was her hurried reply when she realized I couldn’t see her. “Yeah, of course that’s okay.” she wasn’t usually a ditsy kind of girl but she seemed to lose herself when she worried over me- not that I had any room to speak since I did the same thing when I worried over her. We got lost in our own heads for the best way to get each other out of whatever situation we were in and she seemed to understand that right now I just needed some quiet. “You sound tired.” she brought back her cheerful tone though it was subdued with that familiar anxiety of worst case scenarios flooding her thoughts. “Try to get some sleep for me, okay Chris?” I didn’t want to tell her she had actually woken me up so as not to make her feel even worse. 

“I will.” I promised. “Seriously though, don’t worry. Everything’s fine now, I just had a rough day.” I told her and she sighed again, one more of consideration. 

“Okay, I’ll try.” that was the best I could ask for. “I love you.” though the words were casual and often shared between us, they still held a lot of meaning and I smiled, feeling a little better at the welcomed reminder. 

“Love you too Claire.” we hung up and I slid my phone under my pillow as I closed my eyes again. I knew asking her not to worry about me right now was the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever asked of anyone. For a full thirty days I was locked in a small living area with no way out with the person that was most likely the most dangerous person on the planet and if he did decide to kill me, help wouldn’t come fast enough to save me. Not that they would be able to save me even if they were here as it happened anyway. I’ve always known that if Wesker wanted someone dead, they were as good as nonexistent. The fact that he stated over and over how much he wanted to kill me and I was still breathing was nothing short of a miracle. Sometimes I chalked it up to dumb luck, sometimes I patted myself on the back for my skill, sometimes I blamed the sadist gleam in the blond’s demonic eyes that promised death only after he broke me first… and other times I took cautious notice of the sad conflict behind the glow in those same orbs. Whatever it was, I knew I was alive for a reason. 

But that was harder to explain to other people. It was hard to explain that I felt a certain safety with Wesker because I knew even in his most sadistic moments, he wouldn’t outright kill me until he’d broken me. And I wouldn’t ever get broken by him no matter what he did to me so therefore he couldn’t kill me. I would never ever say that to anyone though out of fear that it would somehow reach Wesker’s ears because he would take the challenge and I would rather that not happen. So to me, I knew I was okay here even if this was a ploy to have me near to finally break me completely so he could then exact his revenge against me by ending my life. I was more stubborn than he could ever anticipate and my resolve would never bend to his whims. But to everyone around me, I was seen as being in constant danger. I didn’t know how to ease their minds because it was a very reasonable belief to have. I was trapped with my greatest enemy, how could anyone not think I was in danger and worry? 

I sat up when I heard paper shuffling to see white pages being slipped under my door. I didn’t appreciate him forcing me to deal with him when I was obviously avoiding him- and I certainly didn’t want another letter from him. I got out of bed, suddenly angry now, and snatched the letter into my fist before opening the door harshly. I glared at Wesker’s back, my mouth open as if to snap at him but nothing came out… I had no idea what to say. The superhuman stopped walking away to look back at me, seeming tired in some nonphysical way that was strange for me to see. He watched me expectantly but I closed my mouth and drew my lips into a tight line, awkwardness replacing my anger. I didn’t have anything to say, I didn’t want to deal with him- not even to fight with him. He was the one to break the eye contact, his red-orange eyes lowering before he turned again and started back to his cell. I let him go, watching as he closed his door behind him to shut me out. I guess he was avoiding me too. 

I looked down at the crumpled letter in my hand and sighed, this was more of a formality for consistency then. Shutting and locking my door, I made my way back to bed. I wasn’t sure what time it was and I didn’t care. I would read the letter ‘Sherry’ which I’m sure he only wrote because we had been talking about her and then I would try to go back to sleep. Everything else could be dealt with tomorrow. 

~~~ 

Sherry 

Unaware there was anything amiss, I went about my tasks for the day before returning to the office. It wasn’t until I stepped close to the door that I realized something was wrong. I heard my team talking more than usual while I was out of the office and there were the stifled cries of a small girl. Confused, I opened the door and walked over to where a few of my Alpha members were gathered around a young blonde girl sitting at Jill’s desk. The girl was still in her school uniform and she was trying to hold back her tears though as soon as her eyes fell on me, they poured freely. My eyes widened at the sight of her- she wasn’t supposed to be here. After just a split moment of surprise, my eyes narrowed in anger and I marched over to sweep Sherry off her feet as she stood at my approach. The others straightened as well though I ignored their questions about the girl and the situation, opting to take my godchild to my personal office and away from my team as quickly as possible. I closed the door behind us and set her onto my desk chair as I knelt before her. 

“Why have you come here Sherry?” I demanded as she wiped her eyes and sniffled as she tried to stop crying. 

“Mom and Dad didn’t come to get me again today- the nanny wasn’t even there!” she explained through hiccuped breaths. I sighed in exasperation at her parents as their negligence was affecting not only myself on a personal level but now it was beginning to creep into my work. When this child was born, they had both referred to her as their greatest creation yet now they were so engulfed in the G-virus that they couldn’t be bothered to ensure Sherry was picked up from school. I’m not claiming I could do better in the parenting department though I was confident I could handle multiple tasks better than the two of them combined and this was prime evidence. I knew I would make for a terrible father as I didn’t like children, I had no interest in leaving behind any sort of legacy, and I was much too busy to be dragged down like this. I’m told children require love and warmth from their parents, such tender traits I do not possess nor do I care to. That’s why I don’t have any offspring. 

“Why not walk home instead of coming to me?” I questioned the girl, trying my best not to narrow my eyes at her. It wasn’t as if she understood the connection she represented and had done this on purpose to expose me. As small a connection she may be and I was sure no one would suspect anything from this, I was very meticulous about how I went about my business. There was also Chief Irons to consider, he was a fool that knew who she was and he was much more obvious when it came to secrets. I couldn’t afford for this to be a problem. 

“I just wanted to see you one last time.” she spoke with false confidence in her eyes though her lip still trembled. This caught my attention and had me on alert, phrases with such finality usually ended in suicide in my experience… but she was ten years old and though her home life wasn’t the greatest, she didn’t strike me as all that depressed. “I’m running away.” she stated, trying to look stronger by ignoring the fresh tears on her face. My body relaxed slightly, unknowing that I had tensed so badly. 

“Running away?” I repeated in disbelief, the very idea was laughable. She lived in a very nice home, received whatever she wanted, given a very good education, and could have whatever opportunity she wanted in the future. Sherry had everything she could want in life and she wanted to run away from all of it simply because her parents were often busy at work? I couldn’t expect her to understand the importance of the work we all did as I couldn’t even tell her anything about the work we did nor could her parents. It was at least understandable for a rational mind kept in the dark to get frustrated at being neglected for something no one would explain. If she knew what her parents were always so busy with, perhaps she would be more cooperative. However I would never compromise the project William was devoting his life to currently nor would I risk bringing unwanted attention to my employers with Umbrella. 

The girl never answered me, too busy trying to clear her face of tears as if she were preparing to set off now. As ridiculous as this whole thing was, I couldn’t just leave her to cry like this. I was appointed as her godparent and I believe something like this fell under my jurisdiction however displeased I was with it. Sherry wasn’t my mistake so why must it be me that had to clean this mess? 

“And where will you stay?” I asked her and blue eyes widened as she hadn’t been expecting to be questioned on her decision. “You will not find the comfort you seek in my home, I’m at work much longer than your parents are.” it could be said that she already knew that since she came here rather than trying to find me at my apartment. She seemed to think about this but I didn’t wait for her to come up with some silly answer. “What will you eat?” she seemed more distressed by my continued prodding. “How will you stay warm in the cold of night?” it was awfully convenient for children to forget all the things their parents did for them because of something they didn’t do. Her breath hitched and she sniffled again, trying to keep her tears back. Of course she hadn’t considered any of this, she was too overwhelmed with her emotions to think anything through. I was disappointed in her state. Her parents were both brilliant and she inherited their genes yet here she was acting like such a child, she should be above such trivial squabblings. 

“I wanna go home.” she cried and I sighed with a nod, content that she had at least wisened to that much. She was protected and loved there even if she sometimes didn’t believe it. That was a matter for her parents to deal with, not me. 

“I’ll take you.” I told her as gently as I could muster. Standing straight, I made the effort to offer my hand as I had seen Jill do with other children before. Her small hand slipped into mine and I walked with her out of my office, shutting the door behind us. I ignored the stares of my team as I led my godchild out of the STARS office, out of the Racoon City Police Department, and into the underground parking lot. She released my hand to slip into the passenger side of my car as I got into the driver’s side. As we drove away from the building, I glanced at her and didn’t know what to do about her fragile state. Wasn’t it my job to help her? “You know your parents love you.” I stated it as a fact. “Their work is important and for people like us it can be easy to get lost in our work. It’s not that they have forgotten you, they just lost track of time.” 

“I know.” she nodded with a soft voice. “I know they love me but it gets really lonely without them around and sometimes it feels like they don’t care.” she explained with her lips slightly quivering like she might start crying again. 

“I can understand your desire to seek me out for comfort,” I couldn’t but I knew the girl liked to be around me for some reason unbeknownst to me. “but you can not show up at my work.” I told her seriously. “I also do very important work and can afford no disturbances.” 

“I’m sorry.” she muttered with her head lowered, I took notice of the way she deflated and sighed. 

“You have my telephone number should you need me. Call me the next time there is a problem.” I added calmly as we pulled up to her house and I parked in the driveway. 

“I will Uncle Wesker.” she assured as she gave me a nod and a nice smile. Regardless of her smile, I knew I could have done much better during this entire encounter. I turned in my seat to face her better. 

“I think it would be best if you sat your parents down and had a discussion about your feelings rather than run from your problems like a child. Perhaps request a more attentive nanny while you’re at it.” this gave her pause and she looked at me oddly. 

“I am a child.” she stated obviously as if I genuinely wasn’t aware. I took off my sunglasses and leaned closer to her so she could see how serious I was being. 

“You are far too intelligent to be behaving like one.” I told her sincerely and she smiled as she wiggled a little in her seat, happy with the praise. 

“Okay Uncle Wesker, I’ll talk to them.” she said confidently with her head held higher than before. 

“Good girl.” I praised her as I placed my blackened glasses back on my nose. We got out of my car and she grabbed onto my hand as we walked up to the front door. She used her key to get in and I sent her to her room to change out of her school uniform while I called her father. 

“Now’s not really a good time Wes-” 

“Nor was it for me when your offspring came to my work.” I cut him off and there was silence on the other end of the line while he processed what I said. 

“What happened?” he asked with a deep sigh. 

“The nanny didn’t pick her up, you can get the rest of the story from Sherry.” William groaned and I could hear his wife’s voice in the background asking what was wrong, probably thinking it was something related to their work. “I’ve brought her home but I need to return to work.” 

“Alright, I’ll uh… hold on.” I listened for a moment to my colleague conversing with Annette about what to do with the situation. Sherry came out of her room and placed her backpack on the table to pull a textbook out of it. The well behaved young girl was getting to her homework without being told to, how studious. I smiled a little at her but dropped it when she looked at me. She smiled at me and moved to retrieve something from the fridge before walking over to me. She lifted the small box of apple juice to show me as she pointed to it and then herself with a pleading smile. I nodded and she beamed but before she walked away she hesitated with a thoughtful expression. She pointed at the juice box once more before pointing to me. I shook my head so she went to the table to get to her work. “Okay,” William’s voice returned to the speaker so I tuned back into the conversation. “Annette is calling the nanny right now so she should be over soon.” 

“Am I to wait here then?” I asked coldly, not having signed up to play babysitter today. 

“Um, well no, you don’t have to. Sherry can be home alone, she’s old enough to be responsible for herself.” William told me and I looked over the girl as she studied on her own. I agreed with that, it was obvious she could take care of herself since she’s had to do it most of her life. I just wasn’t sure when leaving children alone was acceptable but it seemed ten years old was fine. 

“I will wait, I want to have a word with the nanny if you don’t mind.” I explained which was true since the woman apparently needed a lesson in punctuality. But I also factored in the girl’s loneliness since that was the whole reason this had even occurred in the first place. It wouldn’t do to tell the girl she could turn to me just to leave her at the first given chance. My team could wait an extra fifteen minutes for my return. At least that was the timeframe I was giving the nanny before I personally ensured she was out of the job. As of now, it was up to Sherry. 

“By all means.” 

“This can not happen again William.” I told him sternly. “I can’t have her muddying the balance of my personal and work life.” 

“There’s a difference?” he chuckled but when I didn’t respond, he sensed how irritated I was with him over the comment and he cleared his throat. “You’re right, I’ll talk to her about it and I apologize for the inconvenience. Thank you for getting her home safely.” 

“Yes well, that was the point of assigning me as her godparent, was it not?” I pointed out with just a touch of malice since he forced me into this role. He laughed mirthfully and agreed. 

“I guess that’s true.” he spoke before sighing. “You didn’t have to take it though, you could’ve said no.” I shook my head at his words. As if I could refuse. Without anything more to say, I hung up. I sat next to Sherry at the table and looked over what she was doing. 

“Is there anything you don’t fully understand?” I questioned and she seemed to think on it, her eyes skimming over the page she was working on. I might as well do something useful while I was stuck here. 

Chapter Text

I woke up again only a few hours later, covered in a layer of sweat and my breathing slightly harsher. Another nightmare. I’d been having enough trouble sleeping lately that I thankfully didn’t have to deal with them and the other night was the first good night of sleep I’d gotten probably since Jill tackled Wesker out of that window all those months ago. But of course, just like everything else good in my life, it couldn’t last. It was my own fault for jinxing it, feeling like things would actually get better, if that was the case then this was an omen of how my nights would go from now onward. Things never got better- there were always more awful things being spat at me even from my own god damn mind! I couldn’t ever get away from it all. I just wanted to rest. No more violence, no more enemies to be wary of, no more corrupt corporations looking in all the wrong places for greedy desires, and definitely no more BOWs of any kind. 

I skipped my workout and went straight for a cold shower. Anger and sadness still brewed under my skin but I felt oddly numb to it today. I guess that was a good thing about crying it all out to someone else like I did, there was nothing left to feel or do about it. It just was. I stayed in the shower longer than I normally did, until the cold spray paled my skin and I felt numb on the outside too. I didn’t want to do anything today. I just wanted to fade away into nothing like I didn’t exist. After all the gore, death, raw carnage, immoral experimentation, betrayal, and personal loss I had faced… I was so tired of it all, was it wrong to want to stop fighting? 

I finally shut off the water and stepped out of the shower, staring at myself in the mirror for a long moment. My skin was a bit lighter than usual but that was only because the color drained from me due to the long exposure to the freezing water. I focused on my eyes, usually alive and determined now dull and soulless. Though I was long since used to the weight of my own body, I felt so heavy like every movement took more effort than it should. On a subconscious level I knew what I was experiencing was a deep level of depression and I should seek help rather than suffer alone which would just make it worse… but I didn’t want to talk to anyone. 

I dried myself off and threw on some clean clothes before walking back into my bedroom. Habit told me to go get some coffee like it would make me feel any better but I knew it wouldn’t so I didn’t bother. I didn’t want to lay around in bed anymore so I sat on the armchair in front of my tv and just stared at the black screen, my eyes following the line of my silhouette in the dim reflection. 

Through the numbness I felt an ache for my old captain, the man who found me sulking at my desk after hours over some stupid mistake I made and processed to taunt me with that emotionless expression. I was so angry at him I asked why he didn’t just fire me already if I was just a failure because, oh yeah, I was the best marksman he’d ever get. I knew it was wrong to lash out at him but I was already doubting myself, I couldn’t have him doubting me too. He told me I was good but not irreplaceable so I challenged him to a shoot off which he accepted. He took me to the shooting range and we took turns giving each other target points. It felt good to let off a few rounds and winning was a bonus. I was triumphant and my self confidence returned with the proof that I wasn’t worthless. I turned to gloat but hesitated at the tender smile Wesker wore. He brought one of my targets between us and with purpose he stuck his finger through the hole created from several bullets finding the same spot on the red circle as if to emphasize how remarkable it was. He reassured me he wouldn’t fire me over a simple mistake, that I should stop beating myself up over it and work to make sure it didn’t happen again. He placed the target back down and walked past me, clapping me on the shoulder once as he did. He told me he was glad I was acting like myself again and congratulated me on my win. Then he was gone. 

He pushed me out of my self doubt with his challenges to my character because he knew I would defend myself… he knew what I was worth and knew I did too, he just needed to remind me. The challenge had been fun and I had found myself smiling and sure of myself again all because he knew how to push me to remember myself rather than try with pretty words of comfort like Jill had. It was nice reassurance but Wesker’s show had been far better than Jill’s tell. And the smile he gifted me with had stirred inside me for a long while, it stayed with me to this day. 

Maybe that’s what I needed now. Before I could stop myself, my safe was already open and my gun was in hand as I unlocked my door to leave it. Wesker wasn’t in the common areas which meant he was in his cell. His door was open though I couldn’t see him in the bathroom or on his bed which only left his desk. I walked the short distance to his cell, flicking off my gun’s safety as I lifted my arms and pivoted in his doorway to aim right at his head. I fired without hesitation but his blurry motion registered a moment later and I saw that he had moved his head to the side just in time for the bullet to sail right past him and bury into the wall in front of him. He was now turned in his seat to glare at me with a studious gaze, trying to figure out what I was doing. Finally remembering that we were under constant surveillance, I raised my left hand to signal to a camera to stand down. I could only hope someone was still watching rather than rushing to prepare the team to storm in here. My hand returned to its spot under my gun hand to steady my aim. My gaze was hard as it was returned to Wesker and he smirked as he stood up. Something about the way he looked at me sparked a feeling inside of me, I wasn’t sure yet what it was but it was feeling. 

“Am I allowed to retaliate or do you wish to take your frustrations out on a still target?” he asked as soon as he realized what this was. 

“Thought you said you wouldn’t hurt me?” I spat at him, unaware I had even wanted to say that- or anything at all. He only said that as a peace agreement during this shared captivity but somehow, without knowing it, it meant something more to me. How could I ever expect him to mean that- hurting me was all he knew how to do! More feeling returned to my core in small tides of heat. 

“Based on your recent behavior, I’d say I already have.” he shot back without missing a beat, wearing a challenging smirk. I squeezed the trigger again and again and again, my aim chasing him around the room though careful not to put a bullet into anything but the walls. The tides of heat became waves and I yelled as my shots just barely missed Wesker’s quick form. Suddenly he was standing directly in front of me though not as close as I knew he would have been if I hadn't lashed out at him yesterday but still close enough to be invading my personal space. He was still smirking and didn’t seem at all concerned with the barrel of my handgun pressed under his chin. I hadn’t intended to but out of habit I had been counting my shots and I had one more in the chamber. If I knew that, so did he. “Do it if it will make you feel better.” he told me with a serious look in his red-orange eyes. Feel better? Did he really think this would all be better if I just shot him in the head? I hesitated but he didn’t waver in his decision, his eyes told me to do it with something bordering on guilt but that had to just be wishful thinking. I wanted him to feel bad about what he did to me but odds were he didn’t even know what he did, just that it pissed me off and he was only doing this to try to bring back the peace that had settled between us until yesterday. Still… he would let me shoot him in the head just to make me feel better about something he did wrong? More feeling and I registered the receding emotions as anger and pain, and I felt it being replaced with relief and gratitude. 

I pulled back to punch him and redirected my weapon before firing, my last bullet ripping clean through the blond man’s shoulder. He flinched very slightly before standing straight and taking a steady breath. I watched in awe as the wound quickly worked to seal itself closed again. It didn’t get a chance to bleed much but some of the crimson liquid stained the fabric of his shirt, I was sure there was some on his back and on the floor behind him, and a little had come forward to dot my hands. I did feel better. Not because I shot him but because he was willing to go through the inconvenience to himself solely for my benefit. It made me feel like he cared and even if he didn’t, I still chose to believe he at least cared enough about the comfort between us to go to these lengths to save it. 

“Are we even now?” he asked with a tight expression. I was sure he didn’t mean to look at me with any hatred since he invited me to do it but I mean I just shot him, he was probably holding back a much harsher reaction. I couldn’t shoot him in the head, I thought too much about him losing some piece of himself so I just couldn’t do it. But I did want to shoot him and it’s not like it would take weeks to heal so as long as it was something he would feel pain from, it was good enough for me. So yeah, we were even, at least as far as yesterday goes. Everything else he’s done is too big for me alone to forgive… not that I was on my way to forgiving anything. 

I nodded and wordlessly left his room- his cell to go back to my own bedroom. I left my door open and my gun on my desk so I could go wash my hands in the sink in my bathroom. I watched the small red spots on my fingers wash away and wondered what his blood could do to a normal person if ingested in some way. He had a virus in his blood so was it right to assume that it would work similarly to being infected? Nothing was known about the prototype virus he was given to inject himself with other than it was given to all the Wesker children and it grotesquely killed all but one of them. So aside from Wesker, no one- not even himself was sure of what it was exactly since all the records on Project W were lost in Racoon City. I was sure he had to have done plenty of experimenting on his own blood to figure it out so maybe he did know what it was after all. Speaking of records, I still wondered what methods Umbrella used to acquire him, what his real name was, and if he had any family. 

I was pulled from my thoughts by my phone buzzing insistently from my bed. I sighed and dried my hands before going to answer it. It was the man monitoring the cameras, wondering what that was all about and if I was okay, in that order. He sounded upset and I didn’t blame him, he was probably told this would be an easy job for him, that all he had to do was watch and alert everyone to any concerning activity. Then I threw a wrench into that by causing a concerning situation but told him to stand down so he was probably panicking over whether he should call in the team or not. I was glad he didn’t. I let him know everything was fine, told him I was mad at Wesker so I took a few shots at him like it was no big deal. He stumbled over his words for a moment, making it obvious he was either new here or only had a desk job that didn’t involve dealing with any enemies. To anyone else in the BSAA, it would make perfect sense for someone- especially me to want to hurt Wesker. He probably understood that on paper but without any experience, he couldn’t understand casually shooting at someone he probably saw as human. I reassured everything was fine now and ended the call. 

I was about to toss my phone back onto my bed but decided to slip it into my pocket instead, in case anyone else wanted to call to lecture me about what I did. I’m sure Jill would want to talk after she caught wind of this. I went about busying myself with cleaning and reloading my handgun when Wesker walked up to my open door, stopping to lean against the doorframe rather than enter which he knew was against the rules. 

“Are you in trouble?” he asked casually. I looked him over once, seeing he had cleaned himself up and changed his shirt. The inhuman man wasn’t looking at me in anger anymore either so I assumed he had time to remind himself that he told me to shoot him and to push aside the hatred he still held for me. I could see him leaving the blood stained shirt on and even coming over with a bloodied rag that he used to clean himself with just to stir up either guilt or anger in me. So I’m glad he didn’t do that, it showed me he wasn’t trying to start anything and had put it behind him so I would do that same thing. Still… holding a gun with him standing in my vicinity had me itching to shoot him. Old habits die hard I guess. 

“No, they were just checking on me.” I told him as I clicked the full clip back into my gun and cocked it so a bullet was in the chamber, ready to fire as soon as I had need for it. The blond nodded slightly like that was good news and I agreed. I don’t think either of us would like a team storming this temporary home of ours. It would just cause unnecessary issues and throw off the atmosphere of the place. 

“Are you going to attempt shooting me again?” Wesker asked sternly and I turned to him sharply in accusation. I hadn’t realized I’d been staring at my gun intently but he did. I sighed and tucked it away in the safe along with the ammo box and closed it. I shot him an annoyed look that asked if he was happy now. He simply walked away back to his cell, probably to return to whatever he was doing before I interrupted him with my gun. I sighed again and rubbed my hands down my face. Maybe I spoke too soon and we both needed a few more minutes. 

I lounged around my room for about another hour until I was sure all the irritation had ebbed out of me. Then I went to get some coffee, bringing an extra cup with me as I walked to Wesker’s room, tapping on the open door with my foot before sticking my head in to peer at him sitting at his desk. 

“Come in Chris.” he called to me without turning so I stepped in, walking over to place the coffee I made for him on his left side where I knew he usually kept his drinks while he was working. He was writing but it was in a new notebook. Had he already gone through the first one? “Thank you.” he said calmly and I nodded to him as I stood straight. I looked around the room a bit awkwardly, not knowing what to do now since conversation didn’t seem very likely with him being busy. But I didn’t want to just leave so I sat on his bed, placing my mug on his dresser after taking a sip from it. I busied myself on my phone, actually bothering to go through the list my friends and colleagues sent me of shows they thought I would like and recommended me to watch. The boredom had grown so great I was willing to laze around and watch tv all day just for something to do at this point. 

It took me longer to feel the monstrous eyes on me than I would like to admit but when I looked over to Wesker, sure enough he was staring at me. He was leaning back in his chair, seeming to be done with his writing. I had laid down on his bed at some point and still held my phone above my face. In the midst of our locked gazes, I stopped paying attention to it and my fingers slipped so my phone hurtled down to smack me in the face. Wesker laughed without malice and I joined in, sitting up as I rubbed my nose. I pocketed my phone as he returned to staring at me, something unreadable in his expression but it felt soft. 

“Would you like me to read aloud to you again?” he asked, his eyes never leaving mine even as I felt a soft blush creep onto my cheeks. I just nodded so he motioned to the books on his dresser for me to pick one. I finally broke our eye contact to lean over so I could see the book titles without having to get up. I selected a crime mystery novel that I knew he hadn’t touched, picking it up and offering it to him. He got up and stepped over to me, taking it to see what it was. His nose crinkled a little in disgust and he raised an unbelieving brow at me but said nothing. I laid back down and he sat at my feet before opening to the first page and began to read. I smiled to myself and listened to the story as told by his smooth voice. 

… … … 

As I turned the page I stole a quick glance at Wesker’s back as he cooked. I was going to cook for us tonight but he insisted on it, playfully claiming that I would burn it. So instead I sat on the countertop where he wasn’t using it and took over reading the novel he started about an hour or two ago. We were a few chapters in and it was actually quite good though we both took jabs at it where it faltered or strayed from correct law enforcement protocols. We had gotten lost in corrections over it a few times already and I felt another coming on as the detective was complaining about paperwork. The author had no idea . The paperwork really was the worst part of the job so of course they glossed over it to focus more on the mystery or action. I think the media these days over glorified police work and it gave new recruits false expectations. I only worked on the police force for two years and even then we were more of a military unit than regular police and the military is where I spent my life. Even now the BSAA was growing to be more and more of a military organization which was fantastic, it gave us more authority and power to do what needed to be done to protect the world. But we faced that same problem, newbies came in expecting it to be all action packed battle and glory but it wasn’t. It was tough work on the mind as much as it was on the body and loaded with trauma. 

“I could swear I’ve heard those words before.” Wesker mused with a sly grin aimed at me. I snorted and rolled my eyes at his teasing. 

“Still hate all the paperwork but I’ve grown to appreciate the necessity of it.” I told him, lowering the book since I knew we were going to be taking a short break from reading to talk more. “On both sides of my job actually.” I continued, leaning back a little so the back of my head rested against the wall. The blond hummed in acknowledgment and I knew it was a sign to go on so I did. “It’s the best way to get information around a large organization instead of relaying it to everyone who needs it and the files can always be accessed later.” I sighed, thinking back on the long nights I used to spend in the archives going over everything we had found on Wesker so I could try to track him. “And if it wasn’t for all the records kept by the bad guys, we probably wouldn’t know as much about what they were doing so we could stop them.” Wesker didn’t respond to that like I thought he would, I figured he would make a snide comment about me learning or growing up or something but he was silent and had stilled in a worrisome way. “Wesker?” I questioned cautiously, my head lifting from its relaxed position. 

“It’s not of your concern.” he said though it wasn’t harsh like he didn’t mean it. Should I press it or leave him be? He went back to stirring something that didn’t need his attention. He was reaching for a distraction which was unlike him so I reached for him, leaning forward far enough to touch his shoulder that it would’ve been easier to get up but I didn’t want to do that. His red-orange eyes turned to me, only holding a fraction of the annoyance I was expecting to see. 

“Do it later, I’m enjoying our conversation.” I found myself saying the words he had once said to me though I wasn’t really sure what they meant in this context but he seemed to understand it. His eyes softened as they drifted from mine and he exhaled heavily. 

“I suppose it would do no harm to talk about it.” he stated before he turned around fully to face me, leaning back against the counter behind him with his arms folded. I smiled and slipped the folded piece of paper we’d been using as a bookmark into its place so I could set the book down without losing our spot. I waited for him to tell me what was on his mind, feeling as though this was a big accomplishment and maybe a good step in our relationship. I had opened up to him about wanting to retire and now he was going to open up to me about something. To a normal person that might seem like a normal development but to us, it was huge progress. “I don’t know nearly enough about Project W as I would like due to the records being destroyed in Racoon City. There wasn’t much in the mansion about it so most of what I know is straight from Spencer and-” he cut himself off and seemed surprised that he had almost spoken of something he hadn’t intended to. I was surprised too, it wasn’t like Wesker to slip up with anything but it made me happy because it was another sign that he was getting more comfortable with me. More progress. Of course I wanted to press for the answer of who else could have told him about the lost project and I was also curious to know more but it was obvious he wasn’t ready to tell me. He glared at the ground, probably thinking of ways he could get around my questions but I wouldn’t question it, not now at least. There was no way I was ruining all this progress because I knew it would take forever to get back. 

“We didn’t find much either.” I told him with a light shrug as if he hadn’t misspoken. “Just the basics of what the project was.” he studied me for a moment, trying to determine what I was up to by ignoring his falter. “So what brought Project W to mind?” I continued on to show him I wasn’t going to press him for an answer if he didn’t want to talk about it. 

“The letter you will receive tonight is about my childhood which I have only recently completed so with the mention of records, it came to mind.” he explained and I nodded, trying to read his expression but there wasn’t much to find. He was still looking at me but it wasn’t a look of gratitude for not making a fuss over his slip up nor was it of frustration for having done it at all. It was just dropped completely and we were back to normal like it never happened and I was okay with that. He would get around to telling me eventually. “Important records can be destroyed so easily.” 

“Well it’s harder now with new technology.” I corrected him and he scoffed at me though it wasn’t unkind. 

“You must forget I’m good with computers.” 

“So am I.” I countered his smirk but it didn’t go away. 

“Perhaps but I wouldn’t place you in the tech department anytime soon.” he told me with a snide sideways glance and I laughed. 

“I wouldn’t want it to take a position there anyway.” I pretended to shiver. “Being chained to a desk all day sounds terrible.” 

“Yes,” he hummed as he turned back around to resume cooking. “you are a man of action so the more idle and mundane areas of our work never did suit you.” I smiled more confidently at his words since he said them as praise. 

“Are you sure it’s all gone?” I asked softly and he sighed. 

“Yes. While Jill was in recovery, I spent all my time searching for anything remaining but there was nothing.” I nodded more to myself as I thought about why he could be so eager for the records on Project W. He already knew all he should need to about it, the main heads of who was behind it and how it led him to where and who he is now. So what was missing? Information on the other Wesker children, the lesser involved people he may still want dead, and everything about his personal life before Umbrella. That seemed the most likely reason. 

“Do you ever miss your parents?” it slipped out of my mouth before I could stop it. I didn’t mean to, I really didn’t because I knew it was a stupid thing to ask but I couldn’t help it. He didn’t know them and he was cold enough not to care especially after all this time… but I was projecting a little. I was thinking of my own parents and how I wished I knew them more… how I missed them. Wesker shot me a look and laughed. 

“No. I don’t spare them any thought nor do I care to know who they were.” he spoke as if they were already dead and I guessed to him they might as well be, chances were he was right. “I simply want to know because I’m not content not knowing about my own life.” that made sense, being the control freak he was, it must drive him crazy that there’s stuff about even himself that he doesn’t know. “I also wanted to track down all the remaining subjects in the project.” he hesitated to continue but the conflicted air around him was tense and it was something I decided I couldn’t let go of. I needed to know his intentions. 

“What would you do to them?” my words were cautious but he didn’t react negatively to them. 

“I don’t know.” he admitted readily which took me by surprise. Usually any sort of admittance like that was considered weakness to him and would be hard to get from him. Yet he seemed okay with sharing it though his movements had slowed in thought. Did he want to kill them or did he want to save them? If you asked me that before this all started, I would tell you he would undoubtedly slaughter them all and there was no other option. But that was before I found out he carried my best friend’s broken body back to one of his bases, spent substantial time and effort saving her life, and brought her back to me for no other reason than he didn’t think she should be dead- or so he claimed… but it was getting harder not to believe him. “It’s pointless to speculate anyhow.” Wesker stated, coming out of his thoughts and finishing the side he had been working on only to move on to the next thing that needed his attention. “I’ve been assured that it’s been done already and none remain.” somehow that made me sad. I don’t know what happened to them but I’m sure they didn’t deserve it though if any of them were like Wesker used to be- is - like Wesker is … then maybe it was for the best. 

I opened my mouth to say something but found I didn’t have anything to say to that. I knew whoever must have told him that was the same person Wesker had slipped up and nearly mentioned. It was nice to know that he felt safe enough to at least bring them up now that he knew I wasn’t going to try forcing him to answer who it was. I knew he would tell me when he thought it was the right time for it because he seemed to want to tell me things. Otherwise we wouldn’t have had the conversations we already have and he definitely wouldn’t be writing me such revealing letters that he felt the need to destroy after I read them. This inner look he was giving to me was nearing on intimate… and I admit that I’ve been purposefully vague when asked about what’s in them as if they’re not important to anyone but us. Which was mostly true, the BSAA didn’t care about the personal events that took place in Wesker’s past like being strong armed into Jill’s party or attending a police officer’s funeral. I did tell them the relevant information but so far that really only included the first letter he gave me about Project W and I only mentioned the small bits of new information about it. I was content to keep the rest to myself and I’m sure Wesker was aware of that otherwise I’m not sure he would trust me with such personal information. 

I stumbled over my own thoughts. Trust. Wesker was trusting me not to share the personal details of what the letters contained- he hadn’t even asked if I was, he was just trusting that I wasn’t. I felt a familiar warmth spread through my chest and I couldn’t even try to fight it off because what else was I supposed to feel other than joy at this revelation? I knew from the beginning that this was a big deal but now it seemed astronomical. Wesker wasn’t just giving me secrets of his life, he was entrusting them to me alone. He’s been opening up to me since day one and I mistook it for… what? A ploy of some sort to misguide me? I almost felt stupid for doubting the integrity of his letters now when I thought back to the expression he wore when handing me the first one. Wesker was trusting me. I kind of wanted to pay it back somehow… I wanted to allow a kiss of gratitude since that’s what he wanted from me… and I wanted it too- but I reminded myself very sternly why I couldn’t do that. I would just have to figure out another way to tell him that I understood, that I was grateful, and that I would try harder at trusting him too but in all honesty… I think I already was. 

With nothing left to say, I started reading again until it was time to eat. Hopefully we would fall into some idle conversation, read a little more, maybe find something else to do, and burn last night’s letter together, before parting ways for bed. I would read ‘Childhood’ and hopefully get my second good night of rest here rather than have another nightmare. 

~~~ 

Childhood 

For as long as I could remember, Umbrella had been a part of my life in some way or another. As a child I was raised in a home funded by Umbrella and given the best education money could buy. I never knew my real parents though I had been told I inherited superior genetics from them especially where it concerned intelligence. I never learned what became of them and I can’t say I ever put much effort into finding out. Any information there would have been on who I really was before being assigned the name ‘Wesker’ or who my family could have been was lost in Racoon City, or so claimed by Spencer. I still don’t much care to know. Whoever they were, they’re most certainly dead by now even working under the assumption they were not slain by the Umbrella agents who originally kidnapped me as an infant. 

I moved through school grades easily and soon found myself in higher grades than my peers. I was a quiet and studious child, more interested in learning than in those around me. I was raised to believe I was better than the rest though I suspect even without that programming, I wouldn’t care for bothering with friends or the like. These things together made me appear as an easy target for bullies. I did nothing about it at first as it was only harmless teasing that I paid no mind to. Even being younger than the other children in my grade, I thought them childish and went about my business. Of course ignoring them only made it worse and it progressed to more harsh forms of bullying that I continued to brush aside. 

The first and only time became physical, it was just a shove. I didn’t fall or lose anything I had been carrying like I suspect they wanted but it was enough to get my attention. The group was four older boys and they were all lowlife scum and I felt a fury in me I had never felt before at their audacity to dare touch me. I’ve always enjoyed science in particular and very quickly found myself zeroed in on biology. The human anatomy was so interesting to me though I had no real intent at this point, I was simply fascinated and curious. Why I bring this up is to give context as to how I knew just what to do to break the boy’s arm in three spots. It was quick and relatively easy regardless that he was bigger than I was. I was small, fast, and had the element of surprise. I suppose this would be one of those ‘the quiet kid snaps’ moments but I couldn’t have been more calm when I retaliated. I was angry, yes, and I punished him for his act against me but I was also sending a lasting message to everyone else that I was to be left alone. 

Nothing ever came of my violent actions. I never did see that boy again and all others stayed clear of me as planned. I still wonder if no one told that it was I that did it, if it was decided I acted in self defense as all the teachers were aware I was picked on, or if Umbrella had something to do with keeping me out of legal trouble. It was after this incident that I truly began to view myself as superior and untouchable. I wanted to keep it that way so I convinced my caretakers to get me into martial arts classes and I trained in my free time to ensure if anything like that was to happen again, I would always have the upper hand. It was also when I decided I wanted to manipulate the human body to be better. It was far too easy to break that kid’s arm… I knew there had to be a way to enhance the physical form. So I studied harder. 

I tackled university with the same ease as the rest of my schooling, graduating with a doctorate in virology at seventeen. I was chosen to study at the Umbrella Executive Training Center. It was there I met William Birkin, he was two years younger than me and even more wrapped up in his work than I was. The two of us were rivals as the tops of our class and favored by our mentor, Dr. James Markus. William presented as even more of a ‘nerd’ than I did as I kept in shape and always had an intimidating air about me while he was scrawny and obviously didn’t tend to his own needs as well as he should. No one bothered me but Birkin had suffered all sorts of torment by others all his life and never stood up for himself. I once asked him why and he said it didn’t matter because he was more focused on his studies. This baffled me and led me into my interest in psychology, striving to find out how two people could endure similar circumstances but come out of it in such contrasting ways. 

The next time I found William being picked on, I put a stop to it. It wasn’t that I cared, I just found it distracting and I wanted a competent rival to study with. Even as rivals, we didn’t hate each other, rather we challenged one another and always tried to make sure we would be the one on top. I still thought myself superior to William but he was worthy in some way to challenge me without it needing punishment. Others had posed to threaten my standing in the school and had been met with consequences but not him. 

By the end of the year, the training school was going under due to scandals and poor cover ups. Seeing a chance to progress our careers, Birkin and I worked together and used Dr. Markus’s trust in us to successfully steal a sample of his completed T-virus strain. This secured us both positions in Umbrella’s Arklay laboratory as top researchers where we continued developing the T-virus using strains of Ebola.

Chapter Text

“It’s truly startling how slack the educational system has become.” Wesker growled as he corrected something in the textbook resting on the table before him. I shrugged around my mouthful of cereal, swallowing before making my comment. 

“Not everyone is as smart as you.” I said and he rolled his eyes. 

“Possibly because the weak material they are being taught does not allow them to be.” 

“You went to a fancy school for geniuses.” I pointed out. “ Apologies if the rest of us public school imbeciles can’t meet your standards.” I spoke with heavy sarcasm and he heaved an irritated sigh as he let the pen drop into the spine of the book. Ignoring my mockery, he continued on reading through it to me, explaining something when I didn’t get what it was going on about. I wasn’t sure what grade this was supposed to be aimed at though I guessed somewhere in the late high school or early college area. For the most part I kept up just fine but there was plenty I didn’t know. I continued eating as he taught me the bits I questioned, following along since he was sitting to my side rather than across from me and the textbook was angled so I could see as well. 

My attention slipped and my free hand idly grabbed for the pen, doodling on the edge of the page closest to me. Without straying from what he was reading, the blond smacked my hand to wordlessly chide me. I chuckled but didn’t stop, making more of a point to venture further into the page. He did seem annoyed by this but I saw the smirk on his lips saying he was willing to play along. He went to swat my hand away again but I moved just in time to flick a solid straight line across the page. Red orange eyes turned to me with a look that told me I was behaving like a child though he didn’t bother lecturing me and risk losing my wide smile. I raised an eyebrow at him in challenge and when he reached for my hand, I tried to move but he got his fingers around mine too quickly. I was startled by him holding my hand, having expected him to grab my wrist instead. He moved the pen back to the paper and began to write something. Not being one to back down, I struggled against his movements to write my own message. We fought for control though he never used his actual strength to get the upper hand, seeming content with the nonsensical scribbles we were making together. I wasn’t sure what he was trying to write or draw, I wasn’t sure what I was doing either but this was fun. 

I laughed and used my other hand to help myself get a little more power but he matched me, his free hand coming up to grab my arm though he didn’t do anything with it. I moved one hand to bat his away but it came back over our joined hands and he quickly managed to write the word ‘meat’ though it was barely legible. Curiosity almost had me allowing him to finish whatever he wanted to write but I wasn’t going to let him win, so with a little more force we scribbled a little longer until I could start to make out letters. Straining to see what he was doing probably was just enough of a distraction to let him finish and I could make out the word ‘head’ and I laughed. He was calling me a meathead. I doubled my efforts to control the pen now that I knew what I wanted to do. The pen had very sloppily navigated over to the second page and I was only just starting the word ‘douche’ when the paper finally ripped and we both stopped abusing it. 

We both laughed, completely oblivious to how our hands were still joined around the pen. As I settled down, I stared at Wesker. There were creases around his eyes and his shoulders shook even if it was very slight. He was being real. He really was having fun and I was happy I got to be a part of it. I continued to stare like I was entranced by this extremely rare sight. Until he caught my watchful gaze and pressed his lips into a line and cleared his throat. He finally released my hands to put his onto his lap. Suddenly aware of how obviously I was caught staring longingly at his smile, I looked away and took a deep content breath. There was a touch of heat in my face but I wasn’t as self conscious of it as I used to be. I felt this moment drawing to an end but I didn’t want it to and I definitely didn’t want it to be ruined by awkwardness. I wanted to hold this memory dear, I wanted to keep the fun going- I wanted to see that smile again. 

“So I have something I want to do with you but you have to swear not to laugh.” I told him strictly as I got up to get rid of my cereal that had gone forgotten. I would clean it up later but for now I just wanted it out of the way so we could keep this rolling. Wesker leaned back in his chair and watched me carefully as I power walked into my room, searching through my stuff for the stupid child’s toy set Claire thought was so hilarious. Now it was going to serve its purpose and I really hoped it would be something we could have fun with even if it was just to make fun of what we were doing. I hid the box behind my back as I exited my room to return to the table where Wesker was waiting for me with folded arms. “It wasn’t my choice, this was forced on me.” I told him so he wouldn’t think this was something I wanted to bring in with me. 

“I thought whatever Jill snuck into your room was something you desperately wanted to get rid of.” he questioned, seeming genuinely confused as to why I would be showing it to him. Heat rushed to my face and I wondered if he knew it was a sex toy or at least something similarly embarrassing. Did he even suspect the thing Jill gave me and my masturbating were related? 

“No!” I shouted with a pitch higher than I intended. Well if he didn’t know before, he did now and the smirk he wore confirmed it. I squeezed my eyes shut and took a breath to calm myself. “Well, yeah, but that’s… something else.” I said before opening my eyes with a light glare at him for bringing that up again when I was doing so well on not thinking about it. “This is something Claire forced on me because she thought it was funny. It’s related to what we were just doing so I thought it might be fun to pull out.” god I was too aware of everything coming out of my mouth sounding like an innuendo now. 

“Wrestling over a pen to insult each other in a textbook?” he playfully jabbed and I did not pout. 

“Wesker.” I sighed his name in complaint. I just wanted to give this stupid thing a dramatic entrance and play around with whatever it contained because I haven’t actually looked it over. “This is the one time I’m making an effort to be comedically dramatic here, do you have to ruin it?” 

“Alright, alright.” he raised his hands in surrender before nodding to what I was hiding. “Do your dramatic reveal.” he told me but I rolled my eyes and simply placed the children’s chemistry set on the table dully. 

“You already ruined it.” I state blandly as I folded my arms with a huff. He stared at the box in front of him with raised brows for a moment before turning his eyes up to me with a disbelieving look. “We don’t have to, it was just a thought.” I rolled my eyes as I grabbed for it, having come to regret bringing it out in the first place. 

“No, no, it’s alright.” Wesker was quick to stop me by grabbing my hand and I noticed again that it was indeed my hand he laced his fingers around instead of my wrist or something else not as intimate. “It could be entertaining.” he offered with a smile that I pushed myself to return. I was still feeling embarrassed for presenting the child’s toy set after he looked at me like I must be joking and he was only humoring me to keep the peace. It was too late to back out now though so I sat back down and watched as he opened the box. 

… … … 

We were done with the set before we were even through all the listed experiments which Wesker had immediately tossed aside in disgust anyway. He led me through what we were doing, taking the time to explain each reaction as we mixed the different chemicals it provided. However, following Wesker’s direction, I ran around our apart… prison… to get whatever household items the blond said we would need to get better reactions or just to make our own experiments. I should have gotten more information about what he was doing than I did to make sure he wasn’t setting something up that he shouldn’t be… but it was a simple matter of him telling me what he needed. He was forthright about what to expect from each mixture, constantly talking me through what we were doing and I never even thought that he might be lying about any of it. Knowing what he was capable of he could probably make some sort of an explosive or something but I just wasn’t concerned about it. I felt irrationally safe here with him… and happy. I don’t know how long I’ve been wearing this ridiculous grin for but I didn’t mind it. 

“How many?” I called back over my shoulder though I already pulled down the whole stack of bowls from the cupboard and started to fill them with water. 

“How many layers do you want?” 

“Uh… how many colors did the box come with?” I asked, briefly hesitating in what I was doing. 

“Just the primary colors.” he answered and I shrugged. 

“We can make the secondary too, so six?” I looked over to see him nod so I filled six of the bowls with water and carried them to the table two at a time. I noticed Wesker pause to stare at what I had done with an eyebrow raised. “What?” 

“You realize we only need a small amount.” he reminded me and I just shrugged uncaringly. He wasn’t one to be wasteful but it was just water and some sugar so it wasn’t all that important. He let it go so we got to work mixing colors until we had six bowls of differently colored water. Then we quickly agreed on a color order and got to adding different amounts of sugar to each bowl, more in the colors we wanted on the bottom and less in the colors we wanted on the top. Next we took turns filling a syringe from the box with the colors to put them one by one into a tall clear vial until we had our own little rainbow pillar, the layers remaining separate due to the varying densities. 

“What’s next?” I asked eagerly when I was finished admiring what we had already done. He directed me around and I got back to it, anxious for our next project. Never in my life did I think I would ever have so much fun with a children’s toy and with my traitorous former captain of all people. But I was genuinely having a good time and from the small twitches of his lips when I caught him staring at me, I was sure Wesker was too- logic and reason be damned. To be honest I had been tuning out the blond’s lessons in favor of just doing the next thing so when he handed me something and told me to add it to the mix, I poured it in before he could tell me only to add a certain amount. 

“Chris!” he chided though he grabbed my arm and pulled me backward with him just in time to avoid being sprayed with the foam like substance that spewed from the beaker we had been working with. It was like a volcano eruption, it shot up and out from the top to pool around the table. I’d seen things like this before but not on this magnitude and I couldn’t help but to notice the slight sizzling sound I could hear over my heartbeat. I hadn’t actually believed I was in danger but Wesker’s reaction momentarily had me alert. I turned my head toward him and burst out laughing at the nearly guilty expression he wore. A moment later and I was surprised to hear him chuckling along with me. 

“That was fun! More dramatic than I was expecting at least.” I exclaimed as I turned back to the mess we made. 

“Yes well I aimed to make it more of a show for you.” he admitted and I smiled at him again, not minding that his hand was still around my arm. My heart thumped harder as he stared back at me intensely as his fingers slowly slid further down my arm to hold my wrist and stopped there. I held his eye contact for just a little longer before I had to force my gaze away. Just as I felt his grip loosening on my wrist, I adjusted to catch his hand before he could take it back. For a long minute neither of us moved but I could almost feel a warmth coming not from me… but from Wesker. I couldn’t look at him now to see what kind of expression he wore, fearing it may kill me. He was the one to break the silence by clearing his throat. “We need to clean this up now.” he said that but he made no move to do so nor did he let go of my hand. “Before it disintegrates the table.” he added and that snapped me out of my lovesick daze. 

“That stuff’s acidic?” I demanded though I too did not release our joined hands. 

“I…” Albert Wesker actually faltered with a shrug. “I may have gotten a touch carried away.” he admitted before giving me a sideways look and I laughed again. 

“And I was the idiot that poured in all of the contents to make it an explosion.” I pieced together and he nodded in agreement. 

“None of it got on you, did it?” I shook my head but his eyes glanced over my body anyway. 

“You?” he shook his head and I sighed. He broke the silence so I had to break our physical contact even if I didn’t want to. I took my hand back and told myself it wasn’t suddenly colder. “So how do we go about cleaning this up?” he guided me through the safe process of cleaning the acidic foam though it wasn’t all that bad. Wesker said it was only mild and would only do damage after long periods of exposure but it was better to use caution… of which he used none. He claimed it would do even less to him being superhuman and whatnot… I was really tempted to throw some at him and start a foam fight with the stuff but thought better of it. Even if it wasn’t actually very dangerous and we would take showers after this, it was better not to mess with it. We could make some normal foam stuff after this and start a fight with that. “Hey Wesker?” I called to him as I exited my room. I finished my shower first and had been waiting in my room for his water to turn off so I didn’t have to see anything that would get my imagination running wild… not that it wasn’t already. I tried not to think that he was taking a longer shower as some sort of invitation for me to see him naked but I was sure that’s exactly what he was doing. 

“Yes?” he asked as he joined me on the couch… without a shirt on. I set a boundary then I go and basically tell him it’s okay to push it by holding his hand. Damn it all. 

“Um… well…” 

“Just spit it out Chris.” he spoke with mild irritation in his voice though it did nothing to dampen the nice atmosphere around us. It was this comfortable feeling that gave me the strength needed to talk about this. 

“I’ve been wondering… if you knew what I was doing and all… what did you do about it?” I was blushing and turned away from him by the time I was done talking. He was quiet for a moment and I could feel his eyes studying me. I didn’t admit that I was very interested in his reaction to listening to me masturbate and if he was turned on by it… not directly. 

“Nothing.” that one word crashed into me harshly and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I turned to him sharply, I thought he was- he was grinning evilly at me. He was toying with me again. I punched his arm, upset that he caught my feelings about it but he didn’t react to it. “By the time I figured out what you were up to the first night, you were nearly done so I simply remained calm and went to bed. Although I admit I had trouble sleeping that night.” I blushed harder at that, remembering that he was actually tired the next morning. It wasn’t just from hearing me but he also continued to think about it all night and it kept him up. “The second night however was more of a challenge, I needed the aid of a cold shower to my calm body down.” my face got even hotter and I couldn’t look at him anymore. He was turned on by me- he got hard because of me and struggled to hide it enough that he needed to take a cold shower. 

“But you didn’t-” 

“No.” he cut me off though he wasn’t rude about it. I looked at him again with a pleading look I wasn’t fully aware of and he smirked at my expression. “Why?” he voiced the question I couldn’t ask but I nodded to admit I wanted to know. “I would have.” he told me with that sultry tone that made me want to melt into his touch. “But I’m not that comfortable with the cameras.” my eyes widened at the reminder that we were being watched and I wondered who was monitoring us right now. God I really hoped it was Jill. I calmed down from my inner panic when I felt Wesker’s strong hand on my thigh. “Is it really so bad to be seen with me in a positive light?” he questioned with such a complicated look- I could identify some anger, some hurt, and something I could almost call longing. My world felt like it was tipping. I didn’t know I was implying that I didn’t want anyone to know I was okay with being here with him- though I didn’t because of what else it could imply with my BSAA standing. I didn’t know I cared about his feelings about it- but I did. 

“N-no! That’s not- I-” I didn’t know what to say. No, I didn’t think it was a bad thing to be on such good terms with him- I mean it carried a lot of personal issues because of our past but I think I’ve been working through them well enough. But yes, when it came down to it, I did think it was bad for others to see how comfortable I was with him. He was the world’s number one enemy and here I am being so open and friendly with him… and I enjoyed it… and I didn’t want anyone else to know about it. Even if we weren’t being watched, I would still set my personal boundaries but would I let more slide between us if I wasn’t worried about what the BSAA might do if they thought Wesker had manipulated me somehow? “It’s complicated.” I muttered, turning away from the blond man. His hand slid away from me and he sighed as he stood to walk into his room. 

“I know it is.” he sounded disappointed and I knew there was nothing I could say to make it better. The atmosphere was tense and sad, ruined. It wasn’t fair for him to say that- to put me on the spot like that. He couldn’t actually expect me to be okay with all this and showing it to my colleagues in the BSAA who wouldn’t understand. How could they when I didn’t even understand it? Was he just trying to make me feel bad? “Here.” I startled at the smooth voice that invaded my thinking, turning to find Wesker standing before me with a letter in his hand held out for me. I took it and opened my mouth, to say what, I wasn’t sure. “It’s alright.” he stopped me with a light shrug. “That was an unfair question. I understand the situation I have put you in and I expected far worse behavior from you but you’ve been rather pleasant. I have become comfortable in this arrangement and it’s not fair of me to want more out of it.” he didn’t wait for me to respond, instead he nodded to me before heading back to his room and I watched him lay in bed with his arms folded. That was certainly unexpected. I didn’t have anything to add to that but it gave me a lot to think about so I decided to turn in for the night as well. 

I read ‘Arklay’ and tried to sleep… but thoughts of Wesker getting hot and bothered over me kept invading my mind. The man I’ve been secretly attracted to for so many years just said he would have touched himself while thinking of me. So I ended up masturbating again. This time I welcomed the thoughts of Wesker and I didn’t even bother putting on any music to try to hide what I was doing. 

~~~ 

Arklay 

Our progress with the T-virus went rather well though in years' time, we were still held up by the amount of intelligence our BOWs were able to retain. We were constantly pressured for newer developments in our research. It was during 1988 that Spencer ordered the assassination of our old mentor so naturally William and myself attended to take whatever research he had accumulated in the ten years since we were in his charge. With the new information we had, the Tyrant Project came to fruition though it was stalled when we could only get the specific mutation we sought with a certain gene pattern found in one in ten million people. There was much work to be done in order to obtain a more genetically compatible strain of the virus. 

I spent much of my life in that laboratory working on viruses, drugs, and what have you and all with various species. I took a great deal of pride in my work and rarely got out though I did enjoy hiking through the forest when I had some downtime to be alone with my thoughts. Somewhere in my mind I knew it wouldn’t last. There was always more information to learn, more tests to run, more improvements to be made. Eventually I grew bored running the same tests and patterns day in and day out, it wasn’t enough anymore. I was growing more wary of Spencer’s motives by this point as a lot of what he did baffled me and it was growing to infest my mind. I shared these concerns with William but he didn’t share my views, claiming the man was just some snob demanding more and more from us and that it didn’t mean anything. He thought it was just best to continue our work and try to meet his expectations as best we could. But there was a tugging in my mind I couldn’t shake, a feeling that there was something more. 

Using a favor we were able to get from Spencer, we were given an intelligent BOW parasite engineered by Umbrella’s European Branch called Nemesis Alpha. That furthered research as the parasite could be inserted into a mutant to enhance the being’s intelligence so it could be given orders from trainers. Nemesis Alpha was injected into our most used and resistant test subject, Lisa Trevor, however her immune system bested it which led to the discovery of the Golgotha Virus. It proved to be useless for further bioweapon development yet William saw something in it… something Spencer approved of and funded. This action only deepened my suspicion of the man so when William transferred to NEST to continue work on the G-virus with Annette, I joined Umbrella’s intelligence bureau to better pursue the questions that followed me. Though separated, William and I were close enough to keep in contact and continue working together.

Chapter Text

When I woke up I didn’t feel like getting out of bed, I was comfortable and content, so I lingered. Without fully realizing it, I had accepted the situation in its entirety. Wesker surrendering, being stuck here, his attraction to me, my attraction to him. I still hadn’t fully accepted my feelings for Wesker, maybe that wasn’t right- I accepted them but I wasn’t ready to have them on display. With that in mind, I was rethinking the line I had drawn concerning physical contact with my old captain. I don’t think I’d be able to have sex with him and get over it when he betrayed me again. I wasn’t sure I’d forgive myself for letting him walk away from me again either, not that I would have a choice in that matter- if he wanted to go, he would. So maybe not all the way but maybe totally depriving both of us wasn’t necessary either. There was still the issue of the BSAA finding out I was… not exactly literally sleeping with the enemy. So maybe it was necessary… but did my standing with the BSAA mean more to me than Wesker? What the hell was that thought?! Of course it does! I helped build this organization and my entire life is in it and Wesker was an evil untrustworthy monster! Even… even if he has been so kind… and honest… and human lately. I knew it wouldn’t last. I was sure he would leave again once this month was over and he had whatever it was he wanted. He would have to start over after handing us everything he had but there’s no doubt that wouldn’t hold him back for long. 

There went my content feeling… at least I was still comfortable. I needed a distraction, hopefully Jill was awake. 

Chris: Have any more therapy sessions
Jill: She says I’m too stiff
Jill: She suggested that I leave work and spend time with friends to relax some more
Chris: Good luck with that
Jill: Yeah if only she knew my best friend was in prison with a dangerous man
Chris: How much does she know about that
Jill: Everything but the part about Wesker being in custody
Chris: So basically nothing
Jill: Basically
Jill: But I only have to see her for the trauma over the fall and the whole being ‘worked on’ by Wesker thing so that’s all she knows about
Chris: Worked on
Chris: Is that what they’re calling it
Chris: He saved your life
Jill: I know that but I can’t exactly defend Albert Wesker to someone who has no idea about anything
Jill: I want to get this mandatory therapy over with not spend the next year talking about our entire history 

I wanted to defend Wesker myself but it wouldn’t do to go off on Jill when she already knew that Wesker was… was what? Okay? Safe? What word could possibly describe what was going on? So I changed the subject. 

Chris: Have you worked out a new schedule yet
Jill: Yeah
Jill: I’m starting an afternoon shift and keeping to it
Chris: Sounds good
Jill: So if you and Wesker do anything keep it on my shift so I can look the other way 

I didn’t answer that, not tired enough that the implication didn’t process but too tired to focus on it. I wasn’t quite upset that she went there because I knew she was trying to be playful about my crush but I was insecure enough about my feelings that I wasn’t sure I was ready to joke about it. 

Jill: Sorry was that not okay
Jill: I still don’t know how to respond to that whole thing
Jill: Is joking about it allowed
Chris: It’s fine
Chris: I think there’s some truth behind what you said anyway
Chris: There’s plenty that happens that could be seen wrong by someone else
Jill: So you’re what going to start planning when he’s allowed to come onto you
Chris: Jesus Jill
Jill: Sorry this is just so weird
Jill: I’m trying to understand I really am
Chris: I get how crazy this is but it’s hard enough dealing with my own doubts
Jill: I’ll stop
Jill: Promise
Chris: I just meant that I’ll try to be more conscious of who’s watching so I don’t risk getting into trouble
Chris: I know how that sounds and I know you were joking and I’m already kicking my ass over the whole thing but I can’t help getting comfortable with him
Chris: You don’t understand he’s not threatening me or anything not even subtly he’s been nothing but cooperative and even open with me about a lot of stuff
Chris: I’m not naive enough to believe he’s actually changed at all but you know he’s at least serious about handing us everything he has once this is over
Chris: I don’t know what he’s planning after this but he’s going to have to start all over and will probably be a wanted man even in his inner circles since he’s turning on everyone and if all he wants in return is for me to be nice especially while he’s being so nice I’m not going to put effort into keeping my guard up
Chris: Something is different and there has to be a reason I know you feel it too 

I waited a few minutes for Jill to respond to my rant and when she didn’t, I decided to get out of bed since I was feeling nervous now. I went about my usual morning workout, thinking of asking if Wesker wanted to join me in this routine from now on, then I got into the shower. I heard my phone vibrate on the counter and hurried out to see what my best friend had said. 

Jill: You make a lot of good points and yes I do feel it too
Jill: I don’t think you would get into trouble for any of this no one’s going to think Wesker’s like brainwashed you or anything
Jill: It’s you we’re talking about
Jill: You’re a founding member here and you’ve never given anyone a reason not to trust you and everyone knows your stance against corruption and bioweapons
Jill: Honestly I think the higher ups were glad that he asked for you because it meant we had someone in there we can trust
Jill: It might make plenty of people uncomfortable for varying reasons but no one would think you’d turn on us for Wesker
Jill: Plus you’ll have me on your side if anyone does try to reprimand you 

I stood naked in my bathroom for a long while just staring at my phone. I knew what she had said was true… I’ve known all along. But having her say it… she unknowingly just crushed my last excuse not to allow myself closer to Wesker. It was so hard resisting his advances at times for the sake of my own feelings but those could be neglected in the heat of a moment. My standing with the BSAA- my life was something that I couldn’t ignore so I threw that on the line as well and it worked. But now… even if I tried to use that excuse, it would crumble thanks to Jill’s friendly reassurance. What do I do now? What do I tell myself to stop from giving my heart to an untrustworthy man? I could try to pretend that my heart wasn’t in it but who would I be fooling? I had to keep at least some distance from him so it wouldn’t hurt as badly when he inevitably left, I had to be able to say at least I tried. 

I jumped at the sudden knock on my door. Without thinking I nearly went to answer it before reminding myself to dress first though I only pulled on some sweats before leaving my bathroom to cross my bedroom to the door. Pulling it open, I watched red orange eyes slide over my exposed skin and turn red though they didn’t glow. For a moment I suspected he might be excited by the sight of me half naked but he looked highly irritated instead which confused me. 

“You’ve been out of the shower for some time now so I figured you may be ready.” his eyes roamed over me again and I noticed a faint glow that was still a little intimidating even though I knew he wouldn’t try anything. “It appears I was wrong.” he sounded almost angry which only served to confuse me even more. “Make yourself more presentable and I’ll have your breakfast ready.” even as he said that, he rolled his eyes like he was already regretting offering me food. Without waiting for my response, he turned his back to me and made for the kitchen. I looked over myself but didn’t see anything wrong with what I saw. It was normal for me to walk around shirtless when I was at home alone or sometimes while I trained on hot days. While this was the first time I’d done it here, it wasn’t like my torso was some sacred sight I wasn’t supposed to reveal. I thought he would like seeing me shirtless anyway so why was he acting like this? I admit I should’ve taken the time to put on a shirt since I’ve been pushing my own line with him enough lately and I was telling myself to stop. I hadn’t even thought about it… was I doing it subconsciously? Still, even if I should be mad at myself over this, why was he? 

I went back to my bathroom for the rest of my clothes and my phone before heading out of my room. I sat in my spot at the table where my food waited for me to start eating while the blond man went to clean up from the cooking. When he was done with that, he still sat on the couch with his notebook so while he wasn’t up for conversation, he at least wasn’t mad at me enough to stay in his room to avoid me. So after I ate and took the time to clean my dishes since Wesker had already cleaned the kitchen so I didn’t want to dirty it again, I joined him on the couch. I made sure not to seem like I was moving with caution but he didn’t act as though he was upset at all. Maybe I just imagined it. 

… … … 

It was only midday but my eyes were growing heavy out of boredom, having nothing better to do than scroll through the news with nothing important to tell. Wesker was sitting next to me on the couch working on a letter which meant conversation was out of the question. I thought about going into my room to watch tv but found that I was too comfortable out here to leave. I also thought about going into my room to take a nap but again, I was too comfortable and almost regretting choosing such a comfy couch. I turned my body so my back was leaning against the arm of the couch and I brought one knee up onto the cushions so I was slightly reclined. Bored of the news, I shot a text to Claire though I knew she was at work so I was about to text Jill again when Claire responded. 

Chris: What was that you were saying about living through you
Claire: It happens to the best of us
Chris: So fill me in
Claire: Unfortunately not much to tell
Claire: Maybe you were right about my life being boring
Chris: As long as you’re happy with it
Claire: Of course
Claire: Making the best of it as usual
Claire: Your life is more exciting than mine right now
Chris: It’s really not we sit around and do nothing most of the time
Chris: We were playing around with that chemistry set yesterday though
Chris: That was fun
Chris: Wesker ended up making some kind of acidic foam stuff and I exploded it everywhere. 

“Can you turn the vibration off if you’re just going to have that thing in your face anyway?” Wesker asked with mild irritation at my phone going off so much though he didn’t look up from his writing. I rolled my eyes but did as he asked, saying nothing so as not to bother him any more than I already did. I didn’t notice that I had slouched a little further down the couch. 

Claire: Wow
Claire: See your life is far more exciting than mine
Claire: I feel like this is a stupid question but everything’s fine right like you didn’t get hurt
Chris: No it was very mild it wouldn’t do any damage and I don’t mean an actual explosion
Claire: Okay so it was a dumb question
Chris: Never hurts to check
Chris: What are you up to anyway
Claire: You really don’t wanna know
Claire: Just a bunch of meetings and follow ups on some recent investigation into Tricell
Chris: Are they doing something suspicious 

Tricell was a growing name in the pharmaceutical field lately but I didn’t know too much about the company. Not just the BSAA but other forms of the government looked into all such companies that dealt with biological and chemical fields and as far as I’m aware, there haven’t been any red flags with them. TerraSave seemed a little late to the party if this was just a routine verification since they’ve been around for years now so maybe they were up to something. Hard to know for sure and I tended to be more on the paranoid side with these things since I know first hand how well Umbrella cleaned up after themselves to remain hidden for as long as they did. They were a monster to finally take down. 

Claire: Not sure yet
Claire: I’m not on the investigation team I just help in the aftermath
Chris: I know Claire and I’m so proud of you for that
Claire: Oh stop it you big sap
Claire: I’m not doing as much as you are mr hero 

I hesitated at that, thinking of all the people I’ve lost but tried not to show it. 

Chris: I’m no hero
Claire: You’re my hero 

That pulled a touched smile from me. 

Chris: Now who’s being the sap
Claire:  :P
Chris: We have different roles but we’re fighting the same fight
Chris: You really help people and all I do is kill
Claire: You kill BOWs and bad guys that want to destroy the world
Claire: Speaking of bad guys how’s mister tall blond and admittedly handsome 

I snickered to myself at that and my gaze momentarily shifted to Wesker though he was still writing away in his notebook. I knew I shouldn’t, I’ve been crossing my own line enough as it was and I wasn’t sure if he was still mad at me for… whatever he was mad at me for this morning. But I was really running out of the willpower to care so I used my foot to nudge Wesker’s leg to get his attention. Once he was looking at me and I was no longer at risk of messing up what he was doing, I wriggled my foot under his notebook until he lifted it. He watched with a curiously amused expression as I shifted further down the couch into a comfortably reclined position with my legs across his lap. With the smallest hint of a smile, he lowered his notebook onto my legs to use as a base to continue his writing on though his gaze sometimes drifted back to me here and there. I smiled to myself at my successful infiltration and went back to my conversation with Claire. 

Chris: I’ve just turned him into my leg rest
Claire: He let you do that 

I chuckled and looked to my old captain and current nemesis to see him already watching me though he rolled his eyes at whatever I was doing and went back to his business. He still wasn’t moving me away so I wore a triumphant smile. 

Chris: He likes it
Claire: This is all still so weird
Chris: I’m actually getting pretty used to it
Chris: Boredom is getting to me though
Chris: I think I’m going to move my tv out here
Claire: You don’t watch it in your room 

I almost dismissed the question or changed the subject but this was my little sister, I could be honest with her. 

Chris: I like being out here with Wesker
Claire: Definitely weird
Claire: But I’m not going to judge
Claire: As long as you’re safe and happy 

My smile softened as I considered that. I didn’t even need to ask myself… I was happy here, at least for now. I’m sure everyone else couldn’t wait for this month to be over but I was dreading it. When did that happen? There were a few different reasons, some reasonable like I was sure he was going to try to break out or something but I couldn’t deny that I just didn’t want to be away from him. At the core of all the reasons was the fear of Wesker leaving me and it was that fear that was holding me back from closing the last bit of distance between us. Would that fear ever leave me? No, I don’t think so… Wesker wouldn’t ever stop his plans indefinitely, we all knew this surrender was temporary. He would never stay with me and I would never go with him. We could never end up together. 

“That’s quite the conversation.” Wesker commented which actually startled me out of my concentration. Reflexively moving my phone out of his view was unnecessary since he still hadn’t looked my way, eyes still glued to his notebook. Though my suspicious action drew his inquisitive gaze since he had merely been commenting on how long I had been typing away on my phone. 

“Uh… yeah.” I said dumbly, preoccupied with reassuring myself that he didn’t know what the conversation was about. It wasn’t like we were talking about anything bad, just some small talk with my sister… even if it was about him. 

“Well now I’m curious.” Wesker told me with a predatory grin on his face as he forgot about his notebook. I shrugged and slid further down the couch until I was lying flat on my back so my thighs are over the other man’s lap. 

“I’m just talking to Claire, we’re both bored.” I answered as plainly as I could. 

“And what is it that you’re discussing?” he turned his body so he was facing me a bit more. 

“Just stuff.” I shrugged again. “Nothing special. Her work and what I’ve been up to in here. She’s making sure I’m safe and all that.” none of it was a lie and I seemed to pull off a casual enough tone to sell nothing further having been discussed because he seemed to lose interest. He relocated his notebook to my upper thighs and continued writing though I could catch his eyes on me from time to time. Great now he could watch me without disrupting his work at all. Still… he was closer to me like this and that spread warmth through my chest. 

Chris: As strange or terrible or whatever as it may be I am
Claire: Then I’ll be happy for you
Claire: But Chris just promise me you’ll keep in mind it won’t be like this forever
Chris: About that
Chris: Can we talk about something 

… … … 

There was a pulsing pressure on my hand accompanied by a gentle voice that barely reached my groggy brain. I groaned awake, moving one hand to rub at my eyes as I processed my surroundings. I was laying on my side on the couch in mine and Wesker’s shared living space. The man himself was sitting closer to me than I remembered with my legs still over his and surprisingly… my hand in his. I must have been looking at our joined hands oddly because Wesker gave me an amused expression. 

“You did it.” he told me matter of fact and I mentally shrugged it off because I believed him and in honesty I enjoyed it. I wasn’t much of a cuddler even when I was young but every now and again Claire, Jill, and various sexual partners I’ve had have told me that I grabbed for them in my sleep. It was usually something small, sometimes just a light touch to ensure constant contact. Jill thinks it’s a subconscious reassurance that I’m not alone and I believe that. Claire noticed it after we lost our parents and for a good while I wouldn’t let her away from me, not even while I was sleeping. I think that’s what started it, the desire to protect my sister so strong that I reached for her even in my sleep but that went two ways since it also told me that I wasn’t alone in my suffering and I still had her. I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m afraid of being alone as I do fine and sleep fine on my own and everything but when there is someone else near me, I’m told I seek contact even if it’s just the back of my hand touching their arm. I think it got worse after the mansion incident. I continued to lose people and not just through death… Wesker’s betrayal left a deep gash on my abandoned heart, one I’m not sure will ever heal. But right now his hand was warm over mine like it’d been there for a while and he even absent mindedly rubbed his thumb over my knuckles. I smiled tiredly at him and squeezed his hand back before I stretched my free arm and let him keep the one he had a hold of. 

“What’s up?” I asked through a yawn, remembering his voice calling to wake me. 

“Jill has been trying to reach you.” he said with a nod to my phone resting near me on the coffee table. I reached for it with my free hand but couldn’t quite get it so Wesker released my other hand to make it easier for me to get to. I grabbed my phone to check my notifications while the blond resumed his reading from a book I didn’t think he had out here before I fell asleep as his hand now rubbed my leg. I had a new text from Claire and a few missed calls from Jill and wondered what was so important for her to keep calling me. I was about to call her back when her name silently popped up on my screen. I accepted the call as I twisted back to lay flat again, even scooting a bit closer to the blond man under my legs as I adjusted. We were close enough now that my butt was touching his thigh and he turned and leaned to me again though this time he placed his book on my stomach, using one hand to keep it open while the other rested on the back of the couch. Like this it was a little out of his way but I think he did that to intentionally avoid my groin though that gave him a window of access to it to stare at if he so chose. I tried not to think about that as I turned my attention to my phone call. 

“Hey, sorry Jill, my phone was on silent.” after turning the vibration off at Wesker’s request, I never turned it back on. I heard her sigh in frustration. “What’s going on?” I asked, worry creeping into my voice over her distress. 

“The day shift asshole is making homophobic remarks about you and Wesker.” she growled harshly into my ear and I almost sighed in relief that nothing was actually seriously wrong. I moved my phone away from my head for a moment to check the time, Jill should be on the cameras now so my guess is the last guy saw me asleep with our prisoner and holding his hand. I could imagine him making his comments on it to Jill and the fight she totally caused over it. 

“So?” I asked as casually as I could muster. I wasn’t one to care about stuff like that though it did bother me a little bit. I’ve heard it all in terms of rude slurs and I’ve stood up for whoever they were directed at whenever any sort of bullying happened in front of me… though I must say I’ve never had them directed at me. Wesker has been the only man I’ve ever had any romantic feelings for and only two other people knew about that and I only told them recently. But I was now also worrying about what might come if the guy rose a stink about it to others. 

“So he’s an asshole!” she exclaimed and I nodded my agreement. 

“What’d you do to him?” 

“I threatened to get his ass kicked off this case.” she said with a hard hmph. “If he was just going on about how it’s Wesker you’re getting up close and personal with, I wouldn’t have cared- might have even shared my own concerns with him. But the fucker actually seemed more affronted by the fact that you’re both guys than the fact that it’s Albert Fucking Wesker in there.” I smiled through her tirade and shook my head lovingly. This woman. 

“Well thanks for defending my honor.” I spoke sarcastically which got the other man to raise a questioning eyebrow at me. “ Our honor.” I corrected with a wink to him that got both his brows to raise in surprise. 

“By the way, tell Wesker thanks for finally getting you up, only took four calls.” my best friend grumbled and now Wesker smirked. 

“I didn’t wish to disturb the moment.” the blond man stated loud enough that Jill would be able to hear. Of course he could hear her, he had great hearing and she was practically shouting. I quickly set the call on speaker and placed my phone on my chest though I didn’t know what to do with my arms now since Wesker was taking up the rest of my torso. So I moved one hand under my head to lay on and cautiously placed the other on top of Wesker’s arm that held his book open. Thankfully he didn’t draw extra attention to what I had done so I wasn’t too embarrassed about it. But just because he didn’t doesn’t mean that someone else kept silent about it. 

“So where are you two now anyway?” Jill asked over the speaker on my phone and I tried not to blush at the implication in her tone. I squeezed my eyes and groaned at her though my nemesis seemed amused. 

“I’ve been wondering that myself.” Wesker teased, his gaze on me expectantly. The arm that rested under my head now came over my eyes as if I could hide from this. 

“We haven’t talked about it Jill.” I so kindly informed her and she was silent for a long moment though I heard her sigh at herself in realization of what she just did. 

“Sorry.” she stated sheepishly. “I thought you didn’t answer me before because you were talking to him and when I saw-” 

“I haven’t decided.” I cut her off before she could say more. Now I couldn’t help the heat in my face. I peeked under my arm to Wesker who was watching me with a very interested expression. “But I guess now I have to.” I groaned again and recovered my eyes. “Tell me more about the fight you picked.” I hurried to change the topic and luckily everyone allowed it as Jill continued into the specifics of what was said. Wesker didn’t seem bothered at all which wasn’t a surprise though Jill huffed and puffed about it. I didn’t blame her, if someone insulted her I would light a fire under their ass too. “Hey you don’t think he’ll…” I let the sentence hang in the air, hoping she would catch onto what I was talking about. 

“Even if he does I don’t think anything would come of it, like I said before.” she thankfully did catch it and reassured me. I guess with that, it would get around the BSAA that I was in some sort of gay relationship with Wesker whether it was true or not… does that mean I should fight the claim or embrace it? I felt more pressured to make a decision now that Wesker knew it was for certain on the table rather than just the subtle hints that I might have been debating it. I heaved a very heavy and long sigh as I spun it over in my mind. “I’ll let you know if he tries to start anything.” 

“Thanks.” I said as I grabbed my phone to hang up. I tapped Wesker’s hand with the one I had kept over his throughout our conversation. He took my meaning and moved his book off of me so I could swing my legs over the edge of the couch to sit up though which now put me sitting so close to the man that our thighs were pressed together. He gave me a long look before I carefully inched away from him, just far enough that we were no longer touching. He wore an expectant look on his features though I didn’t know exactly what he was waiting for. “Why were you mad at me this morning?” I asked as the first thing that came to mind as a distraction. His inhuman eyes widened a minuscule amount but I caught it before they narrowed. His brows furrowed as he thought it over for a second and I waited, crossing my arms and watching at him. 

“Do you recall what we were discussing last night?” he finally responded, seeming to decide to lay it out for me. 

“We talked about a lot-” 

“The last thing.” he cut in impatiently and my face heated up in realization. I had asked about how he reacted to my masturbating and he responded… very favorably. 

“Yes.” was all I muttered. 

“And what did you do last night?” his tone was accusatory now and I felt like I was shrinking. Suddenly we were back in his office in STARS and he was lecturing me over something stupid that I did. 

“What does that have to do with-” 

“What did I tell you about my current capability to pleasure myself?” then it all clicked. He wasn’t comfortable jerking off while being watched by the BSAA, very understandably, and I gave him something to listen to even though I knew he could do nothing to relieve the tension it would cause him. In my defense he had told me to do just that… though I knew he didn’t expect that I would ever actually do it. So he just had to listen to my exotic noises and suffer… it must have been torture. Then to add salt to the wound I showed off my body to him the very next time he saw me. Now I did feel guilty, truly I felt bad… but I couldn’t help but laugh. His glare hardened on me and I waved a hand at him dismissively. 

“Come on, it’s a little funny.” he let out a low groan that sounded more like a growl as he turned his body away from me so he faced straight again. “I’m sorry, I… won’t do it again.” I questioned, wondering if that’s what I was supposed to say. He looked me over for a moment and I tried to keep the blush off my face over what we were talking about but I’m sure I failed. I felt rather childish blushing like this all the time. I was a grown ass man who’s had plenty of sexual encounters yet somehow I still managed to turn into a burning mess when Wesker does or says anything provocative. What was I, some virgin teenager? Jesus Christ I needed to get a hold of myself. 

“So what are you going to do Chris?” he asked very seriously and my eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

“What?” I asked dumbly and he leaned closer to me, confidently placing his hand on my cheek to tilt my head higher to look up into his narrowed eyes. I blushed harder at the stare he set on me, it wasn’t angry anymore… it was insinuating and needy. I always thought his stare would set me on fire but this wasn’t the context in which I thought it would happen yet here we were. My body heated up at a faster rate than I thought possible as his discolored eyes watched me. 

“If you’re sorry, what are you going to do to make it up to me?” his voice was so low it may have only been a whisper, I couldn’t tell the difference but my focus was solely on him so there was no way I would have missed it. My jaw clenched to keep from saying anything I might regret. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do about any of this yet. Since Jill crushed my last solid excuse to have this affair with Wesker I hadn’t allowed myself to think about it, worrying that lingering on it would just make it worse. I thought that if I didn’t think about it, I wouldn’t have to deal with it since the blond man had been backing off… when in reality it just left me unprepared for when he started again because I’ve been the one toeing at the boundary I myself set. Of course he would try again, I was showing hesitance and he was taking advantage of that. “Have you decided?” he was whispering now, closer to my face as he continued to lean. Suddenly Wesker’s face wasn’t as close and he was looking at me with a strangely worried expression. It was then that I realized my shaky hand was on Wesker’s chest to keep him at a distance. I stared at it with wide eyes, wondering when it had moved or when I had wanted it to. My heartbeat was in my ears and my fingers trembled slightly, my mind raced but surprisingly into a single direction. I wasn’t ready. “Chris?” 

“I…” my voice stammered and trailed off, my mind beginning to spin now. I wasn’t feeling the same forbidden longing as I had during other encounters of this nature with my old captain. The last reasonable excuse keeping me from him was gone and he knew it… all that was left was the fear of inevitable loss. He didn’t fully understand the question he had asked but the answer was no, I hadn’t decided yet if the pain of losing him would be worth the bliss of temporarily having him. 

“I don’t understand.” Wesker stated with the smallest tilt of his head as he continued to watch me not able to meet his eye. “From what I’ve gathered, you’re no longer worried about the BSAA knowing about us so why are you still resisting me?” 

“Us?” I asked, my eyes finally flicking up to his though I found no irritation there, only concern over my reaction. There’s always been a piece of me that’s been afraid of Wesker in one way or another. I feared disappointing him when he was my captain, I feared what I didn’t know about him when he betrayed me, I feared the reality of him being gone with I thought he was dead, I feared what he had become when I learned he was alive, I feared what he was doing to innocent people in the following years, I feared he would kill me in Spencer’s mansion, I feared he was truly gone after Jill’s sacrifice, I feared his motives when he surrendered, I still fear what he’ll do after this, but more than anything I fear him being absent from my life. I think being so close to him in such a peaceful environment has allowed my feelings for him to become completely unburied and now I couldn’t control them. I was afraid of these feelings because Albert Wesker was a monster and yet… I… I loved him. No more denying it, no more pretending I wasn’t sure of my feelings, no more avoiding the word. I love Albert Wesker even with all the horrible things he’s done, even as the monster he’d turned himself into, and even though he’s using me. I love him. I love him and he with all his genius brain didn’t have a clue. “There isn’t an us.” I shook my head. “I’m a respectable member of the largest anti bioterrorism agency and you’re the world’s number one bioterrorist. What ‘us’ could exist?” 

“None of that needs to matter in here.” he countered and I could see how that could be a valid argument since it was obvious we both wanted each other and I’ve come to the conclusion I could have him in here with little to no negative repercussions to my job. But he didn’t know the emotional repercussions it would have on me that would haunt me for the rest of my life. 

“It’s not something I can just turn off.” I shot back which was true because even if I could now admit that I loved him I also still hated so much of him and what he’s done. There wasn’t any forgiveness in my heart for him, I wasn’t willing to overlook the evil he’s done if he wasn’t willing to make amends for it. There was that small hope in me that truly wished that’s what his surrender was supposed to be the start of, redemption… though I knew it wasn’t. 

“Are you afraid of me?” the inhuman man asked, seeming genuinely surprised. I’ve never shown fear while facing off with him and I’ve always come after him with headstrong determination but he must know that of course I was afraid of him and what he was capable of. But that’s not what he was asking, anyone would be at least a little scared of him even if it was just of the raw power he possessed. 

“Of course I am.” I confessed without hesitation. 

“I told you I wouldn’t hurt you-” I shook my head to stop him. 

“I believe you.” I stood up with a sigh. “But this agreement won’t always stand and there are… other things I’m scared of concerning you.” that was all I was willing to say about it. “I’m going to bed, we’ll talk later.” without waiting for a response, I headed into my room and shut the door. I was still kind of groggy and wanted to crawl into bed though I knew Wesker would be around soon to give me tonight’s letter ‘Army’ so I sat up to wait. 

~~~ 

Army 

My experience in the army wasn’t exactly what you would call ‘standard’. As an ‘official ex-employee of Umbrella’ I was scouted for my skills to be used in their bioweapons projects… the ones that weren’t strictly legal. I was in a prime position to play the role of the spy since I was of course still with Umbrella’s information department in secret. I helped the U.S. Army with their illegal weapons under the guise of serving my country while also reporting any progress back to Umbrella. Nothing we worked on was noteworthy considering the leaps taken in later and more recent years, fairly tame chemical warfare that would have been staggered by political red tape was most of it. This was of course still during a time that BOWs and the likes were only in development under Umbrella. The world was so simple back then when toxic gases that only killed you, albeit in slow and unbearable ways, were the main worry for enemy attacks in terms of biowarfare. 

I could have done more during my service in the army, I could have developed something terrible for them as I had done for Umbrella many times. However I chose to focus on my training, really honing my skills with various weapons and further mastering the art of hand to hand combat. I learned first hand the ins and outs of combat strategy through sometimes bloody trial and error. I played with the lives of whoever was in my unit just to see what would happen. Naturally I learned swiftly and utilized my newfound skills and unique tactics well in the field. I was soon recognized for my excellent work and leadership skills and quickly rose through the ranks. 

At the pestering of William’s insistent letters to me, I had a sexual relationship with a Serbian woman whose name I don’t recall. It was during a rather dull assignment we had been given where we were stationed with a group of immigrants that had given us the intel on the mission details. Between William urging me to find a woman of my own and my unit’s teasing that one of the women had a thing for me, I gave in to silence them all. By the end of the assignment I had lost interest though it was made clear she thought she was in love with me. Her sobbing over me was an annoyance and my indifference furthered my reputation of being cold. She along with the rest of the group returned to Endonia and my unit remained in the U.S. so I never saw her again. 

I remained with the army for five years until Umbrella gave me the opportunity for a career change. Having tired of playing soldier in a field I wasn’t enjoying with no real action nor my preferred kind of experiments to run, I eagerly accepted. 

I was reassigned to an Umbrella funded special task force in Racoon City known as STARS.

Chapter Text

I had a migraine and the coffee wasn’t helping. I hadn’t slept much and Wesker’s concerned sideways glances weren’t helping either. I glared at him from time to time like this was his fault but really it was my own. I was stressing over what to do about the developing relationship between the two of us and I was still so conflicted over it all my mind was basically a warzone. I knew I was overthinking every little thing but I couldn’t help it, things involving Wesker were always complicated so a simple answer just couldn’t exist. For most of the day I tried to avoid Wesker, staying in my room most of the time though I did venture out here and there for no real reason other than to have something to do.  

“Are you still running from me?” Wesker regarded me with irritation and I sighed, setting my cup roughly down onto the countertop. This was the longest amount of time I’d spent out of my room at once, I was refilling my coffee for the fourth time and had to make a new pot so I couldn’t just refill and retreat as I had been since this morning. I’d busied myself with poking through the fridge and hoping Wesker would leave me alone a little longer but apparently I had no such luck. 

“I’m not running.” I answered curtly but that wasn’t the end of it. He looked up at me with a long stare, studying my expression and my body language. 

“Why are you pretending to be angry with me?” he asked with a blank look like he hadn’t just called me out on my bullshit. 

“I’m not pretending.” I sighed again as I ran a hand down my face and stared intently at the coffee pot, willing it to brew my beverage faster. 

“You’re sulking.” he stated matter of fact and I rolled my head towards him to give him an annoyed look. “Are you still overthinking having sex with me?” I turned away from him again, leaning on the counter with my elbows and planting my burning face into my hands. I held my breath to keep in a scream of frustration. How was this all so easy for him? Oh right, because he didn’t have the disadvantage of having love attached to the lust. Now I was actually mad at him, feeling like he was intentionally rubbing the fact in my face despite not knowing of my handicap. I reminded myself of my own right to remain silent and didn’t gift him with an answer. Luckily he didn’t press me for one. 

Have I decided? What did I want? I wanted Wesker. I wanted to hold onto him and not ever let him go. But I knew he would and knew I would be powerless to stop him from leaving me. I would be lying if I said I was winning the battle with caring. I knew I was beginning to lose when I started realizing how much I enjoyed his company, his touch, and getting more cuddly with him. We weren’t even halfway through the month yet and already I knew I was giving in more and more every day. Realistically, how much longer could I keep pretending I didn’t want my former captain more than anything? The last thing keeping me from accepting him was the fear of the pain he would leave me with again and it would probably hurt worse this time because I knew it would happen and still allowed it. But really… I was already hurting and I knew I would still hurt when he left. I knew that I was already in too deep to just say ‘told ya so’ when he left. I would hurt. I knew but I denied it, telling myself that it would be easier if I didn’t get too close but I already was close. It took Claire calling me out on it to get me to face that I had already accepted him and only continued to distance myself out of stubbornness. 

I sighed deeply to myself as I made my coffee and took it back to my room without being stopped by Wesker again. I sat in my armchair with the tv on though I couldn’t say what was playing, it was just there for background noise and maybe to let Wesker think I wasn’t in here brooding… he would know anyway. I sipped my coffee as I went over the conversation I had with Claire yesterday for maybe the fourth time. 

Claire: As long as you’re safe and happy
Chris: As strange or terrible or whatever as it may be I am
Claire: Then I’ll be happy for you
Claire: But Chris just promise me you’ll keep in mind it won’t be like this forever
Chris: About that
Chris: Can we talk about something
Claire: You don’t have to ask of course we can talk about anything
Chris: I know this is just gonna be so weird
Chris: Wesker’s been putting moves on me
Claire: You’re kidding
Claire: Well that’s great you’re getting what you want then right
Chris: No my heart’s on the line here and his isn’t
Claire: Oh I see what you mean now
Chris: I don’t want to get closer to him when I know he’s gonna leave anyway
Claire: You two played with a children’s mockery of something he’s very serious about
Claire: You openly expressed that you’d rather spend your time with him than not
Claire: You’re using him as a leg rest and he’s letting you
Claire: Don’t you think you’re already close
Chris: I guess but that’s all more of a tense friendship that I can live with
Chris: He wants to cross the line into a relationship without the relationship
Claire: I know it’s awkward but we’re both adults you can say sex
Chris: You’re not allowed to know what that is
Claire: I’m 27 Chris you’re a bit too late to save my pure mind
Claire: Joking aside I’ve been on my phone too much and I need to get back to work
Chris: I’ll leave you alone
Claire: No keep talking I’m just letting you know that I won’t be responding as much 

There was about a ten minute gap. 

Claire: Seriously Chris I want to help
Chris: I don’t just want sex I want a relationship
Chris: But it’s Wesker
Chris: That’s never gonna happen
Chris: He’s gonna leave me again and I don’t want to get that close or it’s gonna hurt too much when he leaves and I go back to meaning nothing to him
Claire: Believe me Chris you have never meant nothing to him
Claire: I mean he came after me just to mess with you
Claire: That’s not nothing
Chris: It’s nothing good
Chris: I just don’t want it to hurt so bad like it did last time
Claire: Okay I’m gonna take a break so just give me a minute to say this
Chris: Okay
Claire: You’re already close to him you can’t help it being isolated with him and your feelings for him
Claire: You already care and no matter what you do it’s going to hurt when he’s gone
Claire: Even if you spent the rest of the month without saying another word to him or even looking at him, as soon as you’re separated it’s going to hurt
Claire: Why not take the path that has at least some happiness in it
Chris: If you knew what was gonna happen to Steve and you couldn’t stop it would you still go through it 

I remembered being all sorts of nervous when she took forever to reply to that. I didn’t know if I had hurt her, I didn’t mean to- I was being genuine, or if she was just busy doing work stuff. I had fidgeted enough that Wesker had to tell me to stop because it was interfering with his writing. I was so relieved when she answered though I still wasn’t sure if I hurt her feelings or not. 

Claire: Yes I would
Claire: Even though he’s gone and it hurts I’m better for knowing him and having those feelings
Claire: I had you and my friends to help me through my loss and I got through my grief to be a better person to live on for both of us
Claire: Your situation is a lot different since Wesker will probably still be alive but it’s still a loss and you have people to help you through it this time instead of suffering alone
Claire: Don’t hold yourself back from what your heart wants just because the future might be scary
Claire: Follow your heart and we’ll all be here for you no matter what happens
Chris: I love you Claire-Bear
Claire: I love you too Big Puppy 

I hadn’t known what else to say because part of me agreed and was so thankful to have my feelings justified and accepted in some way but another part still wanted to argue that I shouldn’t have these feelings and should continue to fight it. I felt guilty for loving Wesker after all he did but as many have said before ‘the heart wants what the heart wants’. Maybe she was right and all my struggling was for nothing. Maybe I should just do what I wanted and deal with the consequences later. 

… … … 

Regardless of the late hour when I finally left my room again, it was to refill my coffee for what I told myself would be the last time. I knew I wasn’t going to be sleeping at all tonight again anyway so why not? My mind was still buzzing with conflict and questions but at least now I had a strong lean in one direction… I just wasn’t sure how to go about it. Maybe I would just continue to fight it until I couldn’t anymore just to spite Wesker and show him that he didn’t always get what he wanted… even if it was what I wanted too. Though time and time again I have been shown not to get what I wanted either. I wanted to be with Wesker back in STARS, never even confessed. I wanted to be in STARS for the rest of my life, it was destroyed only two years after being formed. I wanted all of my friends to get out of the mansion alive, only some of us survived. I wanted Claire to live a normal and happy life, she got sucked into the mess in Racoon City because I didn’t tell her what was going on. I wanted to eradicate bioterrorism from the face of the Earth, there’s a new world threatening crisis at every turn. As much as I loved the BSAA, I was sad that it was necessary to exist. 

There was a little voice in the back of my mind reminding me of all the things I did get. I wanted Claire to be strong enough to take care of herself when I wasn’t there to help her, my training got her through Racoon City and other outbreaks safely. I wanted the position in STARS regardless of my superior officer’s warning that I couldn’t follow orders, Wesker gave me the chance to prove myself and I did. I wanted Wesker to be alive somehow after I watched him die, he injected himself with some unknown virus that brought him back. I wanted to bring down Umbrella and with the dedication and skills of everyone that was a part of that effort, we did, even Wesker had been working towards that goal in the shadows. When Jill sacrificed herself for me I wanted both of them to be alive and okay… Wesker saved her life and brought her and himself back to me. I wanted to be with Wesker now and he was offering himself to me. Even if his heart wasn’t in it, I knew it still meant something that he picked me because there was no way a man like him would give himself to just anyone. Even if he didn’t love me… it still meant something to him- I meant something to him. 

“Haven’t you had enough?” I jumped in surprise at the sudden voice behind me, nearly dropping the creamer as I poured some into my coffee. 

“I didn’t hear you come out of your room.” I grumbled more to myself as he approached to lean his hip casually on the counter next to me and fold his arms. 

“I called your name but you didn’t respond.” he told me as his eyes studied my tired features. 

“Oh… I guess I’m a bit distracted.” I rubbed at my face with a sigh and finished making my coffee. 

“Perhaps we should discuss it so you stop torturing yourself with stress over the situation.” Wesker too heaved a sigh of defeat. “Despite what you may think, I do not wish to play any sort of mental game with you this time.” he admitted and I looked to him with indifference. His saying so didn’t make me feel any more at ease, he could be lying and this was just another move in his sick game. “Not all of my actions have complicated objectives. I’m not often a man prone to whimsical decisions but it does occasionally happen.” 

“So you decided you wanted me on a whim?” I asked though I knew it wasn’t true. 

“Well, no, it was something I put a lot of thought into actually.” if I didn’t know the blond better I’d say he was feeling a little insecure right now. He didn’t fidget or blush but it was in the way he spoke, not as refined and maybe just a tiny bit rushed. 

“Then why can’t I overthink how much thought you put into it?” I asked calmly as I sipped my coffee and he looked at me with irritation. 

“It’s unproductive.” 

“So is your flirting.” I said it before I thought about it and hated myself when my words gave Wesker pause. I didn’t mean to say it, I didn’t want to say it- it wasn’t even true. His flirting was a little counter productive because while it did urge me closer to him, it also repelled me but it wasn’t doing nothing. He had to know that… but still, I said it, even if I wasn’t mean with the delivery. 

“I’ll back off if you really want me to.” he promised with a serious expression that I had to turn away from. I didn’t want him to, I’d at least decided that much. I liked the attention he gave me and I liked the touches, I didn’t want them to stop. It’s only when he wanted to take things further that I grew fearful and after thinking about it more, I think I found another big reason I was nervous about the idea. 

“Caffeine blocks a neurotransmitter, uh, it tells your brain you’re tired.” I said as I looked to Wesker for the name of what I was talking about. He gave me an amused expression and I couldn’t tell if he was glad that I changed the subject rather than tell him to leave me alone or if he was proud of me for talking science to him. Either way, he readily supplied the answer I waited on. 

“Adenosine.” 

“Right.” I nodded in approval with a snap of my fingers before pointing at him. “While it’s out your body makes more dopamine which in turn makes you more focused and happier or whatever. Now I figure with all my overthinking and stress, I’m gonna be up probably all night again. So if I’m not going to be sleeping anyway, I don’t care if my adenosine is blocked.” I stopped to take a drink of my coffee for emphasis. “And I could use more dopamine to focus on my overthinking and a little sprinkle of good feelings to combat my stress.” I smiled in mock cheer to showcase how effective my plan has been thus far. Wesker was smiling now and I couldn’t help but chuckle at both of us. Me for being ridiculous and him for looking at me so sweetly in my ridiculousness. 

“That’s a good theory. Seeing as you’ve been testing it all day, what are the results?” he playfully questioned and I sighed as I stared into the brown liquid in my cup. 

“Not as productive as I hoped.” 

“I’m reminded at times such as this that you are rather smart.” Wesker chuckled with a shake of his head. At first I rolled my eyes at the implication that he usually viewed me as some kind of idiot. Then I fully digested what he had said and stared at him in awe. Not thinking anything of his comment, the blond gave me an odd look when he noticed my pause. Coming from him, that was saying something. I mean we both knew he would never place me anywhere near his level of intelligence and I took no offense from that because the man was a straight up genius. But for him to acknowledge in someone else- in me , a quality he highly valued… it meant a lot. 

“Thank you.” I gave him a soft smile. “That’s a great compliment coming from you.” still not seeing the importance of it, he shrugged. 

“I’ve given you far better compliments.” he stated softly like he wasn’t sure if he wanted me to hear it or not. I continued to stare at him over the rim of my mug so he met my eye. Since I did hear it, he was facing my reaction. 

“Like what?” I asked, trying to push down the giddy feeling crawling from my chest. 

“It’s…” his eyes strayed from mine and he frowned, moving to grab a water bottle from the fridge more for something to do than actually wanting it. “I don’t think you want to hear it.” he finished his thought with a disappointed tone. He didn’t look at me as he uncapped the bottle and drank down about a third of its contents and I was glad for that because I was blushing, knowing it must venture into flirtatious territory if he felt he wasn’t allowed to bring it up. But… I did want to hear it. I wanted to know what he thought about me and my body wanted to know what he thought of it. I slowly set my mug down and stood right next to him, carefully placing my hand over his on the countertop just as he was setting down his water bottle. 

“Maybe I do.” I whispered as I gazed into his fiery eyes, watching closely at the way his head tilted slightly to the side as he contemplated me. His eyes drifted around my face, taking in the heat in my cheeks before moving down to the hand purposefully placed on top of his. He could probably hear my heart beating fast though I tried to keep it under control. His inhuman eyes returned to meet mine and he was studying me like I was a puzzle he was seeing a new piece of. I knew I was sending mixed signals again but I was the one starting something so it’s fine. There was something about the way he was looking at me that I liked and I was fine with admitting it. It wasn’t angry or calculating or even lustful, it was just warm. 

“Admitting you have always been my favorite isn’t enough?” he whispered back and his breath was closer to me than it had been a moment ago. I shook my head to even my own surprise. 

“I was your favorite ‘little piggy’, so what?” I shrugged one shoulder light heartedly with a grin and he chuckled. 

“No.” he corrected with a serious but warm look and I noticed the way his eyes flickered lower to my lips for just a second. “You are my favorite. STARS team member, BSAA enemy, human being, ‘little piggy’- it doesn’t matter.” his hand subtly turned over under mine to intertwine our fingers and my breath caught in my throat. “You are my favorite.” that… wasn’t at all what I ever expected. I was his favorite… when he put it so clearly with all the implications intact… I was his favorite person on the whole planet regardless of what our existing or current relationship was, is, or ever will be. My entire chest ached with longing and hope. Did he know what he was doing to me? Did he even realize what he was implying- moreover, did he mean it? Did he actually have genuine feelings for me? 

Without thinking and without knowing what I was doing, I closed the gap between us to kiss him. He accepted my lips warmly and with my free hand on his chest I could feel the flutter of his next inhale and the strong beating of his heart. His other hand moved to settle on my waist as mine now slid up his body to rest at the back of his neck, subtly pressing him closer to me. His lips worked against mine, soft and innocently. There wasn’t a need for dominance or heat, this kiss served to establish something deeper that I knew I couldn’t take back… and I didn’t want to. I wanted Wesker but I wanted him in so many more ways than just sexually. The tenderness he put into this kiss… it almost seemed to suggest he wanted more with me too. 

The kiss didn’t intensify nor did it end abruptly, we simply parted as the kiss ended naturally. My eyes fluttered open hazily to see Wesker’s orange eyes already staring down at me kindly. He took a long breath and smiled so warmly at me. 

“Chris.” he whispered soothingly to me with such a fond tone that I felt my heart stop. That was by far the best kiss I’ve ever had and as far as first kisses went I’m pretty sure it was something out of a romance novel. Was it real or was I dreaming… or dead? One thing I was sure of… was that it was too good to be true. 

“I… I’m gonna go to bed.” I muttered back to him in a whisper, not meeting his eye anymore. Even as I spoke my hand tightened around the neckline of his shirt because I didn’t want to go- I didn’t want this to end. Wesker sighed and rested his forehead against mine. 

“You said you weren’t running from me anymore Christopher.” he reminded me with disappointment and irritation… and maybe even some sadness evident in his voice. I couldn’t help but close my eyes and enjoy this closeness while it lasted because of course it wouldn’t. He would either turn this into sex or he would leave… he would eventually lose interest either way. 

“I’m not, really I’m not.” I told him as I opened my eyes to look at him just as he did the same thing though he wore a skeptical expression, obviously not convinced. “I have decided but I don’t want to just jump into this.” Wesker smirked but said nothing so I continued with a slightly embarrassed sigh. “The truth is I’ve never actually been with another man and considering I’m starting with you of all people, I just need a little time to adjust to this new… arrangement.” 

“Not one?” the blond asked in surprise and I shook my head against his. “How many women have you bedded?” I blushed harder but didn’t pull away from him. 

“Plenty.” I said a bit more defensively than I meant to. 

“But no men?” 

“No. I just didn’t find the right guy I guess.” I closed my eyes again when he started smirking that smug and superior taunt that I hated. 

“Why Chris, are you implying I’m ‘the right guy’?” his tone wasn’t as condescending as I was expecting, he was just teasing me. I still felt my face get another degree hotter and finally moved my face away from his only to rest my forehead to his shoulder instead. 

“There’s just a lot of history which is another thing I’m sorta struggling with.” as I spoke he took his hand from mine to snake both around my back and tug me that little bit closer so our bodies were touching comfortably. I hesitantly wrapped my arms around his neck, one arm hanging more to the side to leave room for my head. Wesker was actually embracing me in such a soft way I had only ever imagined and I was returning the gesture. I sighed in content though my heart had signed up for a race and I thought I felt another contender though it was hard to tell the pace of Wesker’s heart over the thump of my own. He gave me a questioning hum that I understood as inquisitive. “You were my boss- a man I deeply respected and looked up to. You betrayed me, killed my friends, threatened my sister, and turned yourself into the very thing I want to destroy.” I felt him nod slightly along with me. “You became the world’s most wanted and I became the main man seeking to bring you down yet here I am playing out a friends to enemies to lovers story with you.” we both chuckled at the last bit before Wesker readjusted so his head was resting over mine. We stayed like that for a long moment until he shifted again so his mouth was near my ear. 

“You weren’t the only one conflicted.” he whispered to me like it was a secret. My brows furrowed in confusion and though I didn’t want to ruin the moment, I pulled my head up to look directly at Wesker. His eyes followed mine as I searched him for the meaning of what he said. He was conflicted about being with me? But he seemed so sure of himself with even this stuff. Before I could ask, he moved one hand from my waist to gently cup my cheek. He moved slowly so I would have plenty of time to move away if I didn’t want it but I did so I stayed still while he pressed his lips to mine again. It was lighter and shorter than the previous kiss we shared but it still set the butterflies in my stomach to full flutter. “Goodnight Chris.” he said before letting me go and stepping away from me completely so we were no longer touching at all but he didn’t leave. I knew what he was doing. He was giving me the chance to leave while also keeping himself available in case I changed my mind and decided to stay. I appreciated it but at the same time it would be easier if he would walk away first. I wanted to stay, I wanted to close the distance between us again and hold him, I wanted his arms around me in that comfortable embrace, and I wanted his lips on mine. 

“Goodnight Wesker.” and I walked away with the remainder of my coffee. Back to my room where I pretended to be calm like nothing had significantly changed… but it had. I set a strict line and I crossed it and now I couldn’t go back over to the other safer side. I officially gave Albert Wesker my heart and I’m not sure he even understood that. I knew this would shred me to pieces too small to identify later but for now, I was okay with dealing with the consequences. I was happy even if I knew it wouldn’t last. 

Just as I was settling into bed with Wesker’s newest note ‘STARS’ I received a text from my best friend. 

Jill: I’ll be right here for you whatever happens 

I knew she had seen the kiss and knew what I decided. I was filled with relief and gratitude that she was giving me her full support even though I already knew she would. She and Claire truly were the best things to ever exist in my life. 

Chris: Thank you 

~~~ 

STARS 

Due to their growing scale, Umbrella’s higher ups needed a way of managing their less notorious schemes. With more employees, facilities, and collaborations… well not all of their unsavory business could remain such a tight secret. So Umbrella funded a police unit built to be the company’s fixers, their own private army to clean up whatever messes slipped through the cracks or threatened to expose them. I was assigned to this elite task force, insisting on holding a position of power both for my own personal deserving and to better handle any underhanded deeds needed for coverups. My record between my two existing careers more than allowed it so I was titled captain of the first of two teams and given superiority over the other captain. I was allowed to handpick each member of my team to ensure I had the very best- and pick I did. I aimed for a variety of skill sets and personalities, each a master in their own fields of expertise, and I personally oversaw their continued training. 

I was the captain of the STARS Alpha team centered in the Racoon City Police Department. Truth be told I was rather thrilled. I was practically running my own military unit, allowed to do anything with both the slimy chief of police and the whole of Umbrella Corporation at my back. The possibilities were endless. 

As predicted, the team grew together seamlessly and each member was more skilled both individually and as a unit with each passing mission. It was something of a wonder to watch them all grow to call one another family after becoming so close. Frankly I was a bit surprised no one ever suspected me of any suspicious actions as there were a few close coverups, though I played my role as their captain very well, they all had such faith in me. I suppose that was because I was genuine in my position. I always knew I would eventually play a role in their demise though there was no way to determine the when, where, how, or why. Regardless, I did want what was best for them. I wanted them to reach their full potential, I even put my own life on the line for them on multiple occasions. If it was their fate to die- even by my hand to serve my own agenda then so be it but until that time, they were my team and under my protection.

Chapter Text

Saying I actually slept well was foreign but very welcomed. There had only been two other days here so far that I could say I was well rested and this made three. Maybe we should celebrate. I was feeling good, energized, and lighter than ever. Hiding my feelings for Wesker was a burden all over that was gone now. While I was sure… at least I hoped he didn’t know I actually loved him, others knew and supported me, even if it was a bit reluctant, and that made me feel better. I didn’t feel the need to hide my attraction for Wesker from him or anyone and I felt more confident about interacting with him. And… I was okay with allowing more to happen between us. Not sex… not yet… maybe never… but more than nothing. I was content just to see where this went. As Claire said, it was going to hurt either way so why not enjoy my time with him? It felt a bit morbid but that was our story in a nutshell, wasn’t it? 

I had skipped my routine yesterday since I had been so distraught but I planned to invite Wesker to join me again… just for the workout part of it… obviously. I made my way to his room and took in his form on the bed from his open door. I noticed that he never bothered shutting his door unless he didn’t want my company which hadn’t happened too often. He wasn’t asleep but he was shirtless in bed with the blanket pulled over part of his body. I stopped in his doorway, crossed my arms as I leaned against the frame, and took in all of him that I could. I wondered about his sleeping patterns, sure that he didn’t need to sleep as much as a human like me yet he still seemed to follow the ritual of going to bed. Maybe it was just something he did here because there wasn’t much else to do. I really should get my tv moved out to the living room. 

Deciding I had enough time to admire his body, Wesker motioned me closer with his finger and I complied. My arms fell to my sides as I stepped up to his bed, watching as he raised himself up on his elbows almost expectantly and I didn’t make him wait. I bent down to kiss him even though I knew Jill wasn’t the one monitoring us anymore because I didn’t care. I placed a hand on his bed as I lowered myself to sit next to him without breaking the light kiss though it didn’t last much longer. Wesker was smiling at me and I returned it warmly. 

“Good morning to you as well.” he stated and my smile brightened. “I assume you slept well.” I only nodded and continued to stare into his orange eyes. I’d noticed before how they seemed to change color slightly depending on his mood. It was subtle and you had to really be looking and know him to tell but I did. They seemed to be a red-orange normally so I guessed that was the default, when he was angry or agitated they were more of a red, when he was happy or content they were more of an orange. I wasn’t sure which category lust fell under with him because there have been moments that it made his eyes red and there have been times they were orange. I didn’t understand the difference in the situations yet but I was eager to learn. I also had a theory that his eyes glowed when his emotion was more extreme. I’ve seen them glow red but I haven’t seen them glow orange though I hoped one day I would if my theory was correct. I leaned forward to capture his lips again. “My, you must have had good dreams too.” the blond stated with a smirk and I chuckled. 

“I was just thinking about you.” I teased him and he raised a brow at me. 

“What about me?” he asked as he laid back down, his hand rubbing my arm as the other moved under his head for support. I knew he was putting himself on display to entice me and it was working. I wanted to keep kissing him, I wanted to run my hands across his body, I wanted to taste his skin… but thinking of what that would lead to made me nervous. Given who Wesker was and how much of a control freak he was, I knew when- if we had sex I would be the one being penetrated and that was a scary thought. So I refrained from starting something I couldn’t finish. I did however move my arm from the mattress to his stomach, my fingers tracing along his defined ab muscles. I pretended the movement was natural and didn’t send my heart into a frenzy but I was sure he could hear its hard beat. 

“Have… you ever been with a man before?” I asked hesitantly and his smile faded into something more subdued like he was thinking over where the conversation would go and what I was seeking from it. 

“No.” he answered plainly and my eyebrows came together in confusion as I cocked my head to the side. 

“Then why were you so shocked I haven’t?” there was a little accusation in my voice because he had made such a big deal of me not having slept with a man yet he hadn’t either. 

“You’ve been attracted to me since our days in STARS and for all I know you could have been attracted to men even before then. With society’s closed minded view on homosexuality at the time, it would be understandable why you wouldn’t have taken a male partner. The same explanation could be said of why you never attempted anything with me during that time as I was a man and your boss. There was no way for you to know how I would have reacted to your sexuality or advancements, it would have been well within my capability to fire you or worse.” he explained before he took my hand and trailed it higher up to his chest. His… his heart was beating faster than it normally did and it made my chest flutter. “However society has evolved so you no longer stand to lose anything for coming out and you don’t seem to care for others' opinions concerning the matter. It stood to reason that I haven’t been the only man you’ve had an attraction to during all these years so I saw no reason to believe you hadn’t acted on any sexual desires for another man.” he finished and I followed along his thought process, it made sense but what he didn’t and wouldn’t ever know was that he was, is, and probably will be the only one. I’ve never really had any serious relationships, not really from lack of trying, it just never worked out and I was starting to believe it was because I only wanted Wesker. 

“Okay but that could be said about you too. I mean you wouldn’t have cared about backlash even when it was a societal taboo so why haven’t you ever been with a guy?” as I spoke, I dared to slide my hand further up towards his neck with the intent to reach and cup his cheek before kissing him again. 

“I’ve only ever had sex with one person Chris and it was a short affair.” he stated with a little irritation and my movement froze as I took in his words. 

“Wait… seriously?” I sat up straighter in shock which pulled my hand back to the blond’s chest. I knew what he was talking about from his letter covering his time in the army. It seemed his lack of interest in women made his squad believe he was gay and it started to cause some issues. Part of his solution had the implication of violence and another part was to have sex with an immigrant woman they had been temporarily stationed with. When I read that I tried not to feel jealous but after thinking about it more I came to the conclusion that it didn’t really count since he hadn’t actually wanted her but he wanted me. I denied that last part at the time- denied that I was feeling jealous at all. But now hearing that was the first and only time he’d had sex, well I guess it was never stated how many times they had sex- great now I’m getting jealous again. “B..but you’re handsome and smart and rich- there’s no way, you’re messing with me!” he smirked at the series of compliments I gave him and my face grew hotter when I realized it but thankfully he didn’t address it. 

“I’m not prone to desires of a sexual nature Chris, you already know that. Learning I don’t have much experience in that department shouldn’t come as a surprise.” he shrugged one shoulder like this wasn’t Earth shattering news. How could someone like Albert Wesker basically be a virgin? 

“I guess. But that was back when you were in the army and you only did that to shut everyone up. I mean, sure, I know you’re not really a sexual person but what, have you never wanted it since then?” knowing him to be the type of person that cares about his work above all else, I figured he wouldn’t have thought about sex all that much but he was still human- or at least used to be. Maybe his sex drive was something his virus helped to get rid of along with his need to eat or sleep but what about when he was still an actual human? Even a man as cold as him had to have impulses and needs. 

“Not enough that I couldn’t take care of it myself.” he was looking at me oddly now and sat up, dropping my hand from his chest to his lap which I quickly moved back to the mattress. “Why does this knowledge bother you so much?” I had to think about that for a moment because while I thought it was shocking news and I was reacting appropriately to it, I knew it was something more than just that. There was a meaning here that I was missing but I didn’t have to think too hard for the answer, it was easy to pinpoint and I blushed as I finally averted my eyes from his. 

“I don’t know, it’s just… I mean… like you’ve said before, you can have whatever you want and…” 

“Oh, I see.” he was smirking in that self assured way I didn’t like. “You’re wondering how I’ve gone my whole life without the need for sexual partners yet here I am wanting you.” hit the nail on the head and he was so damn smug about it. I groaned in disapproval and looked at him again. 

“I’m wondering ‘ why me ’?” I huffed and settled a stern look on him so he knew I needed an answer this time unlike the last time I asked this same question. He sighed and seemed to think about it, his eyes falling to the blanket over his legs. Then he smirked and looked back up at me with a heated but playful expression. 

“Perhaps I just ‘found the right guy’.” he teased and my face brightened again as I turned away, not knowing what to say to that. It wasn’t fair- he didn’t know what that meant to me! I leaned to rest my head on his bare shoulder and said nothing. I thought I was done with the conflicting emotions but I wanted to smile like a lovestruck fool and I wanted to cry like a lost child. He was my ‘right guy’ because I loved him. He couldn’t say something like that to me without knowing what it actually meant. It just confused me again. I felt him sigh before I heard it. “I said the wrong thing, didn’t I?” he asked as his hand lifted to my head just as I shook it. 

“No, it’s fine, that’s just… it’s fine.” I told him but didn’t move so he didn’t either though after a few silent moments, he started moving his fingers through my hair soothingly. 

After several very relaxing minutes I finally raised my head with a smile as I told him to work out with me. He got up and we went through my routine which he was hopefully going to remain a part of. We separated for showers and I made sure he would be out and dressed before I left my room so I wouldn’t see anything too pleasant to handle. Wesker tends to eat once every three days so since he had eaten yesterday, he only made enough food for me and sat with me at the table as I ate. We talked about moving the tv into the living room and we went through the list of recommendations I’d been given to see if there was anything we could agree on starting with. 

The atmosphere between us was calm and comfortable, happy even. The day was shaping up to be the best yet. But it’s just when you come to a realization like that that it all turns on its head and things seem impossibly bad. We moved to the couch once I was finished eating, our coffee cups sitting on the small table in front of us. Our conversation had lulled after we agreed on a few movies and a TV show but Wesker wanted to finish tonight’s letter before we moved the tv and started watching. So I browsed on my phone while I waited for him to finish writing. My eyes widened at the news coverage and after only reading the headline, my phone was to my ear listening to it dial the familiar number but it didn’t even ring. 

“Hey this is Claire Redfield, you know what to do.” her cheerful voice called through the phone as it went straight to voicemail. I hung up and tried again. Voicemail. 

“Chris?” I barely registered the voice next to me on the couch as I tried again. Voicemail. “What’s happened?” Voicemail. Voicemail! Voicemail ! 

“Damn it!” I shouted in fear as I finally changed numbers, not realizing that I had stood and was now pacing with red eyes following my every step. “Where is she?” I demanded the second Jill answered her phone. “Is she okay? What happened?” 

“Calm down Chris, the police are still looking into it.” her voice was rushed but authoritative. She was trying to settle me from panic but I could tell she was worried too and that didn’t help. 

“ Where is she ?” I demanded again more harshly when she avoided answering. 

“We don’t know.” she admitted after a regretful sigh and I felt my heart stop, my body freezing with it. The fear I had been just barely containing oozed out of me followed closely by anger. 

“What do you mean you don’t know? It’s been hours- she could be infected by now or-” 

“Chris!” Jill shouted over me. “There isn’t any reason to suspect this was a targeted attack or that any biochemicals were used. The police are still looking into it and they’ve already brought a few survivors out of the wreckage. They showed no sign of any infection nor did they report anything strange. There are no indications of an outbreak so they’re focusing on getting survivors out safely and the BSAA isn’t getting involved.” 

“A TerraSave building suddenly collapses with Claire inside of it and you say there’s no reason to think it was an attack?” I asked in disbelief. “Jill if there’s-” 

“Chris I really need you to just think positively and not jump to conclusions. There are a dozen other reasons why the building could have gone down and they’re still trying to safely dig their way to others. We’ve got some volunteers with search and rescue training going to help in the efforts to move things along a bit quicker.” she explained which put a rush back into my blood. I had been on such a team when we were trying to find her and Wesker’s bodies. I could do something! 

“Us! That’s us! Get me out of here and we’ll-” 

“That was over ten years ago, things have changed.” she cut me off sharply. She knew I had elbowed my own into her rescue attempts but even I knew they only allowed me there because my lack of experience with the terrain wasn’t at risk of hurting more people. I wanted to challenge her, tell her that things hadn’t changed that much and we’d done building collapses before. But she knew me well enough to expect that and countered the argument before I could make it. “And they need level headed people. If you were there you would only get in the way by trying to dig too soon and maybe end up bringing more of the building down in your rush to find Claire.” I wanted to challenge that too but a part of me knew she was right. With everyone brought out that wasn’t Claire I’d get more and more hurried to find her and get her out. 

“I can help.” I whispered, my voice nearly begging as the fear began to crush my chest. My eyes burned but I didn’t care to do anything about it. I was scared and it didn’t matter who knew. 

“The best thing you can do right now is to wait and continue your current mission.” she lowered her voice with an apologetic tone. “They will find her.” she hung up without waiting for me to respond. I listened to the line go dead and stared ahead of me as my emotions boiled higher, unaware of the voice calling out to me. This prison, the one Claire herself told me wasn’t for me… suddenly felt like it was. I knew if I screamed and begged they wouldn’t let me out because that would violate the deal. I was every bit trapped here as Wesker was- I’d only deluded myself thinking I was in any sort of control here. I was stuck in here and Claire was out there under a building, scared and fighting for her life or maybe even- no. Think positive. Think positive. Think- a loud crashing sound reverberated through me as my coffee mug shattered, splattering the coffee inside across the wall I threw it against. I screamed in frustration and threw my arms out to topple everything off of the coffee table before kicking the thing over. 

“Damn it!” I yelled as I took the few steps to the nearest wall and punched it, not even feeling the pain it shot up my arm. Claire needed me and I was locked up in here when I should be out there finding her! 

“Christopher calm down!” Wesker’s stern voice finally registered as he grabbed a hold of me, one hand on my shoulder and the other over my fist to prevent me from punching the wall again. 

“Claire needs me and I’m fucking stuck here with you!” I spat at him as if it was his fault this was happening. I panted in anger and I turned to throw my free fist at him instead but stopped when I saw his eyes… he looked at me with genuine worry. In his eyes I saw he cared nothing for what became of Claire nor did he understand what I was feeling… but he was worried about what it was doing to me. In that instant, all the anger drained from my body and left behind only the fear. “Jill doesn’t think it was an attack but- but what if it was?” I asked him as if he would have the answer. “Either way, she’s in danger. What am I supposed to do?” my legs shook slightly and my body didn’t fight it when Wesker tugged me just a bit closer to him so I was leaning on him, using one hand on the back of my head to bring my forehead to his shoulder. The blond used his other hand to massage a high point on my shoulder that hurt for a split second before tingling. He used the same fingers to slip through my fist and pinch between my fingers. I felt numb all over but somehow breathed a little easier and that was when I realized he was hitting pressure points to try to alleviate some tension from me. 

“Ricardo Irving.” he sighed and I had to blink to see clearly as I raised my head. 

“What?” I asked but he didn’t answer. Instead he led me backward to the couch, sitting down himself before gently urging me down too. When I hesitated, he reached to the floor to pick up my phone and held it out for me. I hadn’t realized I dropped it when I threw my mug. 

“Call Jill back and put her on speaker.” he told me though it didn’t come out as an order. I complied with sitting down though my leg bounced anxiously as I unlocked my phone and redialed Jill. It took her longer to answer and I worried she might not but eventually she did. 

“Chris if you’re calling to-” 

“I have something I want you to check into.” Wesker interrupted and the woman went silent. 

“Where’s Chris?” she demanded but not with the venom I would have expected which told me she was getting more used to the idea of a friendly Wesker. 

“I’m here.” I reassured her but before either of us could say anything else, the blond man continued. 

“I want you to get a location on Ricardo Irving, I believe the BSAA is familiar with him. He’s one of my contacts and has a hand in a lot of bioweapon business on the black market. If anyone was planning an attack against TerraSave, he would have at least heard of it.” he explained and I listened intently. “Tell him I sent you and if he doesn’t comply then I’ll find someone else to aid in my project, he’ll understand and answer any questions you have. He won’t work with the BSAA so casual clothes only and don’t make it obvious you’re interrogating him.” if I wasn’t too preoccupied worrying over Claire, maybe I would have thought about how this was the Wesker I missed. My cool headed and in control captain, the man who always had a plan… the man who always had my back. There was a little more talk of his last known location and when Wesker had last been in contact with him. I listened but stayed out of it since there was nothing I could do right now. Jill made to hang up in order to get on that but the blond man stopped her. 

“And Jill, certainly this goes without saying, but there’s to be no mention of my imprisonment here.” the inhuman man told her with an edge to his voice. 

“Don’t fucking threaten me Wesker.” Jill bit back sharply and the other sighed. 

“It’s not directed at you, I mean for you to pass it on to the rest of the BSAA.” both me and my best friend were stunned into a short silence at his near apologetic tone at the misunderstanding. There was also the fact that he wasn’t aiming his threat at her even though she would be in prime condition to let it out that he was in custody. “Everyone I currently work with believes me to be field testing and perfecting a drug I claimed to be testing on you with your resilience due to the T virus.” he explained and I gawked at him. 

“You mean that… P30 thing you were talking about- the mind controlling drug?” I asked with accusation. 

“Mind control?” Jill exclaimed. 

“The same.” Wesker said solely to me before returning his attention to my phone. “I used it on you once during one of your last operations to get you to lay still and found it didn’t stay in your system nearly as long as it was intended. While I am curious what it would take to get it to last, I didn’t use it again nor do I intend to. May we move on now?” there was a moment of hesitation that he took advantage of to switch the topic back to his threat. “I believe you’ll agree that it’s best the people I’m working with don’t get suspicious and go into hiding.” 

“Yeah, you’re right.” Jill confirmed with an irritated sigh. “You’re right that it goes without saying.” if I wasn’t so worried about Claire, I would have laughed at her sassing off to our former captain who raised an eyebrow at the remark. “I’ll call you back as soon as we hear anything on Claire or Irving.” 

“Thank you Jill.” I quickly called to her before she hung up. The call ended but I stared at the blank screen a moment longer before raising my gaze to Wesker who was still looking at me with concern. “Thank you.” my voice was but a whisper and he sighed before leaning to rest his forehead to mine. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I wasn’t calm- not by a few miles but I wasn’t as close to panic as I had been thanks to this intricate man who, even with all his villainous acts, had done something kind just for me. 

… … … 

I don’t remember much of the past few hours- it’s all blurred together. I know I tried distracting myself by cleaning up my mess- my poor coffee mug, it had been my favorite, but I couldn’t think of it now. I sat and I stood and I paced- I paced a lot- I’m pacing now. I think Wesker tried to get me to sit back down with him but I shrugged him off. I think he tried to touch me and I moved away from him. He tried to talk to me and I yelled at him- I hadn’t meant to be so mean to him, I’m just full of so much nervous energy and no one will tell me anything! I called Jill- called her a lot, she won’t answer my calls anymore. She said she would call me the moment they heard back. I know they found Irving, they just have to send someone to talk to him but I was told to sit tight. I can’t sit- need to move. There’s been no word on Claire, it’s a big building and they’re still working their way through it bit by bit but so far the casualty count is low. That’s great and all but it doesn’t help! I need to know Claire is alright! I paced some more, sure I was wearing a path into the floor but it didn’t matter. Jill said the more they get into the wreckage the less likely it seems to be an attack rather police think it may have been constructed with cut corners and an investigation is being led in that direction. It didn’t matter. 

“Claire is a tough woman, she knows how to handle herself.” Wesker told me and I was surprised he was trying so hard to calm me down that he would go to the lengths of complimenting my sister. 

“What is she supposed to do about a building falling on top of her?” I yelled in objection. I know how tough she was- I was responsible for her training! “How is she supposed to combat suddenly being crushed?” Wesker fell quiet again as he continued to watch my movements from the couch. During this entire hell his eyes haven’t left me- not once. Maybe if I wasn’t so high strung I would have noticed how on edge he was getting over my behavior but I didn’t and I didn’t care. None of this mattered to me anymore! Wesker didn’t matter- this place didn’t matter- his fucking evidence didn’t matter! I needed to get out of here and find my little sister- she was all I had left! I rushed to the front door, banging on it with both fists as I screamed and demanded to be let out. 

“Chris. Chris!” Wesker’s voice was next to me, his body close with one hand on my arm and the other on the small of my back. “No one’s coming to get you out, they care more about our deal.” he told me like it was news to me but I had already come to that conclusion before. 

“Then break it!” I yelled at him, facing him for the first time since I left him on the couch. Tears welled my vision and my breaths were coming in angry huffs- too fast and too shallow it made my chest burn with the effort. 

“I can’t.” he spoke with a guilt I couldn’t stand so I stopped looking at him. I pushed away from him and marched back to the couch to grab one of the new cups of coffee Wesker had made for the both of us in the hopes of keeping me settled. I hurled the glass at one of the cameras, not caring if I did any damage to the monitoring device. 

“Get me the fuck out of here! I’m done!” I screamed at the camera even as it dripped with the brown liquid I had thrown at it. 

“Christopher that’s enough!” Wesker shouted at me with the authority that used to make me flinch but it did nothing now though it did manage to draw my attention back to him. “You have to calm down or you’ll stress yourself into a full blown panic attack.” he lowered his voice as he spoke, slowly stepping closer to me as if I were the dangerous one. “You’re already hyperventilating and I do not wish for you to endure that, I hear it can be quite painful.” he was close enough to reach out and place a hand on my shoulder. His voice was near pleading as he continued in a whisper which made me focus on his voice instead of the rampaging in my mind. “Calm down.” but I didn’t want to. 

“My sister might be dead out there by herself because I’m stuck in here with you.” I informed him venomously as I shrugged his hand off of me. “You better hope they find her alive.” I’m not sure how I was looking at him but it felt like my own eyes would melt with the hatred they poured from them and even the great Albert Wesker… looked away. I left him there alone to storm into my room, slamming and locking the door behind me. 

… … … 

I heard snippets of noise outside my door. So loud- too loud. A voice maybe? It was hard to tell. Whatever sound was around me rang together into a droll buzz that sounded more like white noise. I tried to clasp my hands over my ears but my limbs were too heavy with numbness to obey me. I felt like everything was tilting this way and that but it was hard to keep up with it through my tear blurred vision- it was because I was crying, right? Why couldn’t I see? My chest heaved so fast my ribs hurt but I couldn’t stop it. My head was light but at the same time it felt like it was too heavy to move. My spine tingled unpleasantly but centered mostly at the base of my neck where it itched and burned and caused more distortion. 

Light flooded into my sight, too much contrast for my scattered perception to make much of other than pain but I couldn’t even groan in objection. Then there was pressure around me and I tried to fight back against it but didn’t have the strength. If I thought the world was titling before, it was full on spinning now. More sounds invaded my confused senses and there was so much more chaos around me. I just wanted it all to end. Everything hurt- it was too loud- it was too bright- stop it- end it! I just wanted some peace! 

Cold- there was cold against the heat in my head… it felt nice. More pressure- here- there- I wanted it to go away. Pressure and spinning then air. I could feel my lungs expand fully and a little of my vision straightened. There was more sound, it came at first like a low whistle- an irritant I didn’t want to exist. But it persisted and I almost thought it seemed like a voice. It was a voice, low and calming. 

Explosions of noise and movement and chaos returned though I had been unaware it had been retreating. Everything was pain and misery again and my chest ached and my brain throbbed. I just wanted it to stop. I wanted the voice back. But it never returned and for an eternity I tumbled alone through waves of blurry motion and echoing sounds. 

Then I was breathing again and the spinning slowly stopped. A voice- a different voice. Jill. I blinked and very slowly I could start to make sense of the things around me. The legs of the table and the chairs… the couch… Jill. She sat at my side on the floor of the living room of Wesker’s and my own prison. She was singing. My eyes found her and I really saw her. She noticed and smiled. 

“Hey, welcome back.” she spoke with a soft voice so as not to agitate me. I tried to say something to her but my throat was so dry and I was so damn tired. My breathing was normal but each inhale still sent air to my lungs that felt hotter than it should and it hurt. I tried to move, even just to raise my head off of Jill’s lap but my muscles protested the movement. Everything hurt. “It’s okay, stay here.” my best friend told me before her head turned away from me and I noticed the two BSAA agents standing at Wesker’s closed door with their guns drawn. “He’s fine now, you can go.” they exchanged a hesitant look before asking something that I didn’t fully catch, something about risky or staying here. “I’m going to help him to bed then I’ll be out.” I only noticed them leaving because their movement made me nauseous. I groaned and slowly moved my hand up to hold my head. 

“Jill.” a new voice called and I instantly recognized it as the first voice to whisper soothingly to me through the haze- Wesker. Tears filled my eyes again at the thought of how cruel I was to him and he was still there for me. 

“I’ll be right back.” she promised before carefully lowering my head to the ground so she could stand and walk away from me. I could still distinguish her blurry form at the door the two guards had been at as she disengaged the locks and opened it. I couldn’t see Wesker but Jill returned to me, lifting my head back up but stopped when I groaned and shook my head which then sent my world through the spin cycle again. 

“Press your thumb between the tendons two to three fingers down his wrist.” Wesker’s voice instructed from somewhere else and Jill obeyed. After a minute I didn’t feel as nauseous or like everything was spinning anymore. I was able to lift my head with less issue and my friend scooted herself under me again to act as a pillow. Another blond head appeared at my side opposite my partner. Red eyes gazed down at me, calculations passing them that I couldn’t keep up with. A strong hand lifted my head and offered a glass of foggy water to my lips. I greedily drank it down, vaguely noticing something red on the chest of his shirt but was too focused on not choking to really give it any attention. 

“What is that?” 

“Improvised medicine, it’ll help.” he explained to Jill before lowering my head back to the woman’s thighs. My hand found his and he held it firmly. “You’re going to fall asleep now and when you wake up you’ll feel much better.” he consoled me and I carefully nodded but wasn’t capable of words. 

“Chris.” Jill called softly to get my attention, waiting until my gaze was on her before she smiled down at me with water in her eyes. “They found Claire, she’s a little banged up but she’s safe.” wetness spilled from my eyes at the wonderful news and my chest heaved again with emotion. 

“We only just managed to calm him down, did you have to tell him now?” Wesker asked with irritation and Jill rolled her eyes but didn’t answer him. 

“Let’s get him to bed.” she said instead. The two helped me up but instead of half dragging me, the inhuman man scooped me into his arms and walked in front of the blonde woman into my bedroom where it was darker which was a relief. Wesker placed me into bed and Jill tucked the blanket up to my neck. I was very quickly losing awareness but not in a scary way like before, this was a calm quiet taking me now and I welcomed it. I barely made out the two figures next to my bed, the smaller one hugging the other. “Thank you.” 

“It was my pleasure.” Wesker’s voice was more distant than it should have sounded. 

“... think… understand… you’re here.” her words were so muddled I couldn’t understand what she was saying but it was fine, it didn’t matter. Claire was safe, Jill was here, and Wesker cared for me. All was right with the world again. Claire was safe. All the worry and fear emptied out of me to be replaced with relief. Jill was here. She sang to me and comforted me until I felt better because she was the best friend I could have ever hoped to have. Wesker cared for me. The painful ache in my chest lightened and though my body still felt uncomfortably hot, the warmth wasn’t unpleasant. Wesker cared. Everything was fine. 

~~~ 

Chris' Birthday 

I’d been aware of the event, of course I had been, so the reason I was still shocked that my team came into work hungover eluded me. This wasn’t the first time someone had come to work in an unprofessional state but never before the whole team at once. Luckily for them, someone had paid for and installed a new coffee machine in the break room nearest to our office, the one we all used though we weren’t the only department to do so. It produced a much higher quality drink than the slosh we had to endure before. After dragging the aftermath of their party to work with them, I had been regretting spoiling the lot but at least the purchase had not been for nothing since it did brighten everyone’s day. 

“Captain have you tried the new coffee machine?” my pointman’s voice called out to me excitedly on that first morning of the machine’s arrival. I gazed over him appraisingly, noting how he had perked up since he first dragged himself in. He seemed revitalized back to his boyishly cheerful self. Yes, it wasn’t for nothing. 

“Yes, I have.” I informed him as I was actually just leaving to refill my cup. 

“We’ve really needed a new coffee maker for a long time, this is awesome.” he grinned and I nodded in agreement. The whole building has been long overdue for an upgrade but Chief Irons insisted it wasn’t necessary and would make no room for new machines in the budget. “Do you know who got it?” 

“I know it was installed last night, it was there this morning when I came in.” I evaded and he didn’t seem to notice as he thought about that information. 

“Yeah you were probably here late again and had to have the old coffee.” he tapped his chin as he thought. “Did you see who put it in?” 

“No.” it wasn’t a lie, I hadn’t seen myself do it. 

“Pretty cool timing, huh? Magically showing up in our break room right after my birthday.” he looked over to me again as he spoke but I didn’t react to it in case that was what he was searching for. 

“A coincidence, I’m sure.” 

“Since when do you believe in coincidences?” he laughed but I again didn’t react, unsure if that was an accusation. “Hm… guess we’ll have to figure it out so we can thank whoever it was.” he fell silent and looked away from me, still puzzling over it so I took a step back towards the door because I wasn’t sure if he was done talking or not. His eyes flickered again to me, to my empty coffee cup, to the door, then back to me. “Oh!” he jumped up, grabbing his own cup as he came closer. “I was gonna get a refill anyway, I can get yours too.” he offered as I allowed him to take my cup. 

“Thank you.” 

“No problem captain, it’s the least I can do.” his grin widened and he didn’t move to leave as he watched me reexamine him. Had he worked it out? Did he know I bought it for him? 

“Coffee?” I reminded him and he nodded quickly, a small dusting of red crossing his cheeks at having been called out on his staring. He stepped around me to the door and I watched him go suspiciously. 

The new machine was the hot topic of all conversation today as people tried to figure out who had purchased it. Chris hadn’t been the first to notice that it had been installed right after his birthday and after he had been so openly complaining about the poor tasting coffee from the old machine. I had planned to reply in the negative if anyone had the audacity to ask me if I had bought it for his birthday which wouldn’t be a lie. It wasn’t necessarily for Chris’s birthday as it was a gift for everyone, even the officers that came from across the building just to use it, although it was Chris’s loud protest that inspired the idea. The fact that it coincided with his birthday was mere happenstance, I knew no one would be around that night since they had been out celebrating so I could take my time setting it up. Thus saying I bought it for Chris’s birthday was simply not the case. He had been on my mind when I got the machine, yes, but it wasn’t intended as a birthday gift specifically for him. 

Had anyone simply asked if it was I that bought it, I would evade for as long as possible especially now with the publicly accepted idea that it was secretly for Chris. I would rather no one know it was me who bought the machine because I didn’t want to deal with the expectation that I might buy new machines for the whole building or be called selfish. I didn’t care for anyone else in the building so I cared not for their comfort, if they didn’t like the machines nearest them they could make the trek. 

I never did figure out if Chris actually knew but he at least suspected it. It was like a riddle we danced around together, whether I did buy it and whether he knew, and that was alright. It was, at the very least, entertaining. 

Chapter Text

It took a few tries to get my eyes open since they had crusted with sleep and dried tear tracks. My head was still kind of light and I felt groggy but much better in comparison to last night. I groaned and rolled over, hearing a shift from outside my door which was open. I blinked and squinted against the light coming in to make out a head peering around the doorframe at me at a lower angle than expected. 

“Wesker?” I called half asking to confirm it was him and half because I wanted it to be him and I wanted him near me. To my luck it was the blond and he stood from what must be a chair placed at my door and boldly stepped into my room out of the camera’s view. Or so I thought but then noticed that the red light on the camera in my room was on so we were still being watched though that didn’t stop him from sitting on my bed with me as I lay there. 

“I assume you slept well.” he mimicked his tone from the previous morning when I went into his room with kisses. I managed a small smile but it fell quickly. 

“Claire?” 

“Safe.” he confirmed with a short nod and I breathed a heavy sigh of relief. “Don’t worry yourself with that now, you don’t need any more stress.” he placed the back of his hand on my forehead though it didn’t stay there, slipping down my temple to my cheek before his palm stretched to the side of my neck. “You don’t seem to have a fever and you’re cognitive. How are you feeling otherwise?” 

“Like shit.” I groaned again though I inched closer to him, tempted to just curl my body around him until he was trapped in bed with me. “My head hurts and my body is stiff but I’m fine.” I elaborated before deciding that moving enough to slide further down the bed to lay my head on Wesker’s thigh instead of my pillow was worth the ache. He said nothing of it as his hand moved to rub my back, an action that seemed very familiar though I was sure he had never done this before. It didn’t matter, I enjoyed his display of affection. I closed my eyes, content to just stay in this moment. 

“That will pass with time. It would be best if you stay in bed for today.” he licked the thumb of his free hand before rubbing it at something on my face. “Perhaps after a shower.” 

“What was that?” 

“Blood.” I wasn’t aware enough yet to be put on alert over that but it did get my attention. 

“Blood? Am I bleeding?” my voice didn’t sound alarmed at all, instead betraying just how tired I still was. 

“No, it was my blood.” his answer did alert me this time. I opened my eyes to look up at him and he met my eye though didn’t seem disturbed by the admission. 

“Your’s? What happened?” I asked as I tried to sit up but he held me down gently, urging me to keep my head in his lap as if he too were comfortable with the position. 

“We can discuss it later, for now you need to rest some more.” he told me with a soft tone that soothed the worry from me. He was indestructible anyway, whatever happened he was fine now and we could talk later. I was tired. 

“M’kay.” I spoke through a yawn that ended in a groan at my pulsing headache. 

“Is there anything you require?” 

“Water.” 

“I’ll get some for you.” I didn’t want to let him leave but my mouth was really dry so I desperately needed the hydration. Lifting my head away from him, I scooted back up to my pillow to rest on while he was away though I hadn’t actually noticed him stand to leave but when I looked back he was gone. He didn’t take long to come back with a cold water bottle from the fridge. I propped myself on one elbow and accepted the offered drink with the other hand. I drank a good portion before the blond took it from me. “Slow down or you’ll make yourself sick.” he warned and I groaned in protest. My throat was still a little dry though not to the point of discomfort anymore. “Can you stand?” I nodded and knew where he was going with the question so I slowly drew my blanket away from my body to get up. In sync, I got out of bed and went to turn on the shower while he collected clean clothes for me to wear and set them on the sink. “I’ll be out here if you need me.” I only nodded at him before he stepped back out into my bedroom and shut the door behind him. 

I undressed and showered slowly since I was still pretty groggy and not completely stable on my feet. The warm water helped to relax my muscles which took some of the aches away so I could move a little easier. As much as I would have loved to sit down and just let the water fall on me for a while, Wesker was waiting so I got out. I dried off and dressed into the clean clothes my old captain had gotten for me before stepping out but he wasn’t there. I slipped back into bed just as he walked in carrying a cup though I couldn’t smell any coffee. I stayed sitting up with the assumption that the cup was for me even though the water bottle was in my reach. Having assumed right, the blond man handed over the cup. Gazing into it I saw that the water within was hazy like it had some fine powder mixed in which seemed vaguely familiar. 

“It’s simply some…” he trailed off as I drank the contents, figuring I would need to ingest all of it for it to take full effect. “You aren’t going to assume I’m poisoning you?” the blond questioned as he took the now empty cup from me so I could lay down. 

“Like I’ve said before, if you were gonna kill me you would have already.” I adjusted for comfort and closed my eyes, content to make light conversation until I inevitably fell back asleep. “You wouldn’t need poison to do it anyway and it’s not your style.” I didn’t realize what I said was funny but Wesker chuckled as he sat next to me again. 

“I have a killing style, do I?” he was obviously amused by this but still encouraged me to sleep by pulling my blanket higher up my body before his hand returned to rubbing my back. 

“I’ve followed through your wake before Wesker. Massacre.” sleep was already trying to take me and I wondered if whatever he made for me had something to do with that. 

“If you’re referring to what I did at the Spencer Estate, I was in a rather foul mood.” he argued and I could imagine him rolling his eyes at the implication that he always left such a mess. He was a professional through and through, if he could help it he would leave no trace of his being anywhere. It’s how he managed to stay hidden so well for so long, he was so good at covering his tracks. Hell Jill and I had been in the same Umbrella facility with him in Russia and hadn’t even been aware he was there until much later. Even though he hated me and wanted me dead at the time, he had another mission to accomplish there so he put me on hold, used me to help clean up some of the mess even. Though when I thought of it like that I felt less used and more like it had been a forced partnership and I liked thinking of it like that. I didn’t even know he was there and would have tried my damndest to bring him to justice but it was a little sweet to think that in his eyes he put his hatred aside to work with me. 

“I know, I know.” I yawned again and noticed that already my head didn’t ache as much and was becoming more cloudy. “But you’re free of all that now.” I told him just as darkness began to consume me. I swore I felt his hand travel to rest on my cheek and though I’m sure I dreamt it… I thought he said it was because of me. 

… … … 

When I awoke again Wesker was gone but I felt fine, a little groggy and maybe a tiny bit sore but fine. I turned over, intent on getting comfortable again and going back to sleep if I could when my hand hit my phone though I didn’t remember putting it there. I decided to grab it and go through it, finding dozens of missed calls from Claire, Jill, and a few other BSAA agents working this case. I wondered how I could have slept through all these but then realized it was set to silent again so I turned the ring back on. Briefly listening to the voicemails, I deleted most of them that were just checking in after my panic attack though I took note of who had reached out so I could text them to say thanks and let them know I was alright. Jill had left three, the first addressing Wesker as she demanded to know what the hell was going on which deeply confused me. The second was a check in to see if I was okay and to let Wesker know he was reassigned which confused me even more. The third stated that she had news and to call her back when I woke up. I wanted to know what was going on myself but instead of calling her, I continued through the voice messages. 

“Chris, it’s Claire, I just want you to know that I’m okay.” hearing her voice brought tears to my eyes though I quickly blinked them away. After going through the worst case scenarios where I never got to hear her voice again, this was like having life breathed back into me. “I know you’ve probably heard by now and I hope this didn’t freak you out too much, I know how you worry. I’m fine, everything’s fine but… we lost a few good people.” there was a sad silence for a moment. “Call me when you can okay?” the message ended and I replayed it… four times. I wanted to call her right then but I was so relieved hearing her voice saying she was okay that I just had to keep hearing it. “Hey, it’s me again. Jill got in touch… she told me what happened. Are you okay? Well anyway, she’s trying to get me clearance to visit you for both our sakes but it’s been a while since I’ve heard anything about it. Take it easy Chris and hopefully I’ll see you soon.” hearing that perked me up and I hurried to call her. 

“Chris.” her groggy voice was filled with a calm relief that I also felt wave through my whole body. 

“Claire- thank god you’re okay.” I said more to myself, having to fight off tears again. 

“My section of the building wasn’t too bad.” she paused to yawn and I felt bad, knowing that I had woken her up. I wondered how long she had been home and able to sleep. She explained how the building came down around them, how she and a few others had helped to free others, how they had lost some, how rescue finally got to them, how she had to deal with being questioned by the cops, and then hospital check ups before she was finally able to go home. It’d been a long night and an even longer morning. She complained that she was having trouble sleeping thinking about it all but hearing from me made her feel better. “What about you? Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine Claire, don’t worry about me. You’re the one that almost died.” I tried to joke and grew concerned when she didn’t laugh or even chuckle, instead seemed sad. She had just witnessed the deaths of her coworkers- maybe even her friends. While we were all pretty good at bouncing back from stuff like this, had to be to stay sane, maybe it was too soon to try to play it off. In honesty, and I was a little ashamed to admit it, but I didn’t really care as long as she was safe. I’d dedicated so much of my life to the world and everyone in it… I just wanted to think about the people I really cared about and… call me selfish but I wanted to think about myself too. And right now I wanted to see my little sister more than anything else in the world. “Is the BSAA gonna let you in?” I changed the subject, not wanting to talk about how my precious little sister was almost crushed under a building anymore. I pretended not to notice the way I referred to the organization I helped to build as if I weren’t a part of it and hoped that she hadn’t caught it. 

“I’m not sure, you’d have to talk to Jill and see where she’s at with the request.” she explained apologetically with another yawn. 

“I’ll do that. You keep trying to get some rest, sounds like you really need it. I’ll call you as soon as you can come over.” I again pretended like I wasn’t casually talking about this prison as if it were my actual living space and I was inviting my sister over like it was any other day. This was a prison for both Wesker and myself. A prison that I was wanting out of less and less, almost dreading returning to normal life and all its stresses. 

“Yes sir.” she lazily replied before we exchanged goodbyes and well wishes and hung up. I called Jill next. 

“Hey how are you feeling?” her gentle voice asked and I could feel her smile through the speaker of my phone. 

“Much better, thanks.” I told her with a small smile of my own. “I talked to Claire, have you gotten her approved to visit?” 

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about earlier. It’s mostly gone through but we’re just waiting on the final say so.” she explained. I wondered about the BSAA’s motive here and about the deal struck with Wesker. As if reading my mind, my best friend continued. “I was really surprised when Wesker suggested it and said it was an exception that wouldn’t break the deal.” 

“Wait- having Claire visit was Wesker’s idea?” I asked in shock. Having him agree to it was one thing but it being his plan was another. 

“Yeah. He said it would help you move past it to see her so he actually insisted that we deliver her to you today. But of course everyone has to talk it over first.” she sounded annoyed like she also believed everyone should just trust that Wesker had good intentions with the suggestion but of course they didn’t. 

“He did?” my heart fluttered as warmth spread through my chest. 

“He also called me to demand that whoever wasn’t paying attention to the monitors get fired. I agreed that something needed to be done about that so he was reassigned.” she sounded proud of herself and I could guess that it was the homophobe she had to deal with from before for her to be happy over it. At least that explained why she had addressed Wesker in one of the voicemails since he had to have called from my phone. 

“Wesker called you? What exactly happened last night?” I asked, needing to unravel the mystery. 

“I already sent you a video of the surveillance. You should- sorry to cut this short but I’ve got to go, I think they decided.” she rushed out before hanging up without waiting for me to respond. Now I was feeling anxious having to wait for her to get back to me. Knowing Wesker wouldn’t approve of me stressing out again, I reluctantly got out of bed to go find him to calm me down. I found him in the kitchen just as he started to pull some food from the fridge and I stopped him. 

“I’m not up to eating right now.” I told him as I stepped into the kitchen and grabbed his arm. He looked like he wanted to object but closed his mouth when my hand slid into his and squeezed. “I promise I’ll eat later but I want to lay down a little longer.” he nodded and added a little pressure to my hand before releasing it to put everything away. I waited until he was done before I wrapped my arms around him from behind and rested my cheek on the back of his shoulder. Wordlessly he placed one of his hands over mine and I could feel his thumb rubbing circles around my knuckles. We stood like that for a long while before I breathed him in as I sighed and broke the silence. “Thank you.” I whispered against his skin and he hummed. 

“You’re welcome.” I had been rude to him when he was trying to help me. Though I don’t remember much of my attack I know he was there for me, and he even invited Claire here so I would be okay. I had so much to thank him for and I’m not sure which I was referring to or which he thought it was but nothing more needed said. Typically this would be something that Wesker would draw out, his ego craving the recognition of his actions but he didn’t. All was understood and all was forgiven and I’d never felt closer to him. 

“Will you lay with me?” I shyly asked and after a moment Wesker turned his head to see me but it wasn’t enough so he slowly turned his body and I had to let him go so he could face me. He looked me over, studying my body language to maybe fully understand what I meant by that and thought it over. Before he could answer me, my phone vibrated in my pocket and I hurried to check it. Claire’s visit was approved and Jill was going to go pick her up now. I wanted to argue that she needed to sleep but I wanted to see her too badly and I knew she would feel the same so I only told her to let me know when they got here. It was during this chat that I saw the video file that Jill had told me she sent from last night. I wanted to watch it. 

“Good news?” the blond man asked at the wide grin on my face. I nodded as I put my phone away. 

“Claire’s on her way here.” I told him and his expression changed very slightly to one of annoyance that I didn’t call him on. I understood he didn’t actually want her here, that he was only allowing this for me and I deeply appreciated it. 

“Do you still want to lay down while we wait?” he asked as he held his hand out for me in the small space between us. I smiled and took it with a nod, happy that he was willing to lay with me though I wasn’t exactly sure what I meant by that either. I just knew that I wanted to lay down and I wanted him near me. His eyes turned momentarily to my room in thought before leading me to his room, figuring that would be better as far as anyone else was concerned but… his bed was smaller. As we entered his room I gazed at the bed and thought about how we would fit… was he rethinking this now too or was this planned? He didn’t seem to hesitate at all as he pulled back the blanket and slid under it, moving over to the wall before holding the blanket up for me expectantly. I stood there for a moment probably red faced as I stared at him but he was patient. I swallowed and cleared my throat before carefully lowering myself to lay on my side next to him- so close. 

He adjusted the blanket to cover both of us up to our midsections and I felt even closer to him now that we were enclosed. I almost flinched in surprise when his fingers touched my neck, pressing a little as a cue to lift my head so I did and he slid his arm under so I was laying on it. During all this he didn’t look at me, choosing to stare up at the ceiling instead. I watched him. Such a blank expression I knew to be practiced, his chest rose and fell steadily, there was no tension in his jaw, and there was no extra color in his cheeks or ears. He was the picture of calm and collected but his eyes… they searched the ceiling like it was actually interesting rather than just somewhere to look. He was distracting himself. Hesitantly I moved my hand to his chest, spreading my fingers over the left side and was surprised to feel a quickened heartbeat. I stared at my hand like it was lying to me before my eyes moved to orange ones though he still wouldn’t meet my gaze especially now that I knew what he was hiding. He was nervous. I wasn’t about to make a comment and ruin everything. Feeling a little more confident, I scooted even closer to Wesker so our bodies were pressed together and I rested my head on his shoulder, keeping my hand over his heart. The arm under me curled over my body so the blond’s hand rested comfortably on my side, his fingers subtly tugging my shirt up just enough to touch my skin. I soon moved again so my ear was a little closer to his chest so I could also hear his heartbeat, taking great comfort in the strong and quick thump because of what it meant. 

We laid in comfortable silence for a long time before I wanted to ask more about what happened last night. But I figured all my questions would be answered if I just watched the footage so I told Wesker about it and he said he didn’t mind watching it with me. I fished my phone out of my pocket, trying to break contact with him as little as possible before resettling with my phone hand resting on top of his ribs so we could both see. Jill had left a text above it saying that she didn’t have time to cut it all together so it was all just from one camera but she did add quick subtitles of what she knew to be said and apologized if they weren’t quite right. 

The camera angle was from one of the corners in the living room and watched Wesker walk to my door, knocking as his mouth formed my name. He waited for a moment before repeating the actions. Another pause with no answer. He leaned the side of his head closer to my door before pulling away sharply to bang on the door, still calling my name and telling me to open the door. He must have heard my irregular breathing. He stood back and looked directly at the camera, holding his thumb and pinky fingers up like a phone and pointing at my room. He listened for my phone to ring before banging on my door again, trying to get me up. He raised his arms up to the camera as if to ask why no one had called me yet. His hands were moving suddenly and I had to rewind it to watch again when I realized he was using sign language. I only knew the basics but I think he said something about me being sick and helping. I wasn’t happy with that tiny bit of translation but luckily Jill had added the full translation. 

‘Chris is sick and needs help. If you won’t help him, I will.’ I looked to Wesker but he continued to watch the screen so I did too. He actually started pacing, it was quick- only four strides back and forth before he seemed to make up his mind. With one last glare at the camera, he walked straight to my room and twisted the knob but didn’t seem surprised to find that it was locked. He easily broke the lock and stormed into my room only to come out a moment later with me in his arms. I looked horrible drenched in sweat, my chest rising and falling too rapidly, and my face twisted in pain. He set me down on the couch before going back into my room, coming out again with my cellphone to his ear and he looked angry. His mouth moved as he rushed into the kitchen to wet a rag with cold water. ‘Whoever is supposed to be watching the monitors needs to be fired.’ There was no dialog for who I assumed was Jill so I guessed she wasn’t able to get in a word. ‘Chris is very sick and no one tried to help him. I broke his door to do it myself.’ There still wasn’t any word from Jill as Wesker hung up and left my phone on the kitchen counter. 

Wesker returned to me, placing the rag over my forehead before checking the pulse in my neck, using my watch to count it. He seemed a little troubled as he lay his head on my chest and hovered one hand over my mouth. Then he stood up, pulled me up into a sitting position and bent me over so my head was between my knees though he had to support me. There wasn’t any audio but I could tell I was coughing and gasping by the quick jerky movements of my shoulders. I was breathing again. I was thinking I could almost remember some of this through the haze of lights and the buzz of noise but I definitely remembered that and some of the blurs were coming together. Not that I was suddenly remembering what happened more clearly, just that it made more sense lined up with what I now knew to be what happened. Wesker seemed relieved and sat next to me to… rub my back. He said something but no matter how many times I rewound it, I couldn’t make out what it was and apparently neither could Jill since she didn’t add anything here. So I looked to Wesker for the answer and he sighed but supplied what I wanted. 

“I told you it was alright because I was there.” he stated honestly and for the first time since we had laid down, he met my gaze and I could see just a touch of pink near his ears. I blushed again but didn’t know what to say to that or how to react to his show of tender embarrassment. So I did nothing and resumed the video. The front door opened and agents rushed in with guns aimed at Wesker though he didn’t move away from me. There were no subtitles here because Jill knew I could imagine with accuracy the usual shouted commands that would have been issued. Someone fired and when Wesker evaded, I fell without his support. Then he was next to me on the floor, just starting to lift me again when a bullet went into his back and through his chest, his blood landing on me in front of him and a bit on the floor. His eyes were glowing a bright red now and from the dangerous snarl on his face, anyone could tell just how pissed he was. He slowly turned towards the group of agents and a few of them stepped back but before anyone could make another move, Jill rushed in and gestured for everyone to cease fire. 

‘Stand down!’ The blonde woman cautiously approached Wesker who was still crouched on the floor with me half cradled in his arms. ‘I’ll take care of him.’ She got closer to him but his brilliant red glare was still over her shoulder to the agents behind her. ‘I need you to get in your cell so I can look after Chris.’ It was hard to tell past the glow emitting from his eyes but the camera quality was good enough to see their shift to Jill, then to me, then back to the woman. 

‘He’s suffering a massive panic attack.’ His eyes glared at everyone else in the room again. ‘All the extra people and noise won’t be good for him.’ He lowered me to the ground and stood up which made a few agents, especially the one that shot him, step back again. 

‘I’ll take it from here.’ Jill reassured as the man went into his room so she could lock him in. She then dismissed the other agents, claiming I needed space. While some who were more eager to leave obeyed, two in particular argued and ended up staying to stand guard at Wesker’s door to make sure he didn’t try anything. Jill had replaced the wet rag on my forehead as she moved me onto her lap, wiping away some of the blood from my face as she started singing to me. I’m not sure how much time it took for me to calm down enough that I became aware again but the video cut then picked up again as the other two agents were leaving. Jill’s subtitles weren’t word for word if my memory served correctly but they were close enough to get the point across. Jill left me to unlock Wesker’s door before returning to me as he went for the kitchen. He had grabbed this and that though I didn’t care enough to watch what, crushing and mixing various bits together before filling a cup with water and pouring some of the powder into it. He carried it over to us, kneeling next to me to give me his home remedy that worked wonders and I’m guessing it was the same stuff he gave me earlier too. Wesker carried me into my room with Jill following and they were in there for a few minutes before they both reemerged. The woman examined the broken locking mechanism in the door before giving our old captain an irritated look. 

‘You couldn’t have picked it or something?’ 

‘I believe that’s your job.’ He smirked at her and she rolled her eyes before heading for the front door which had been left open a crack and I took that to mean there was someone guarding the other side just in case. She didn’t pause and no more words were spoken between them as she left, sealing the door behind her so I guessed their conversation about Claire’s visit had to have happened in my room. She must have also turned on the camera in my room to keep an eye on me while she was there too. Wesker went to his room to change his slightly bloodied shirt before grabbing a chair from the table and set it just outside of my room. He sat with his arms folded and his head back against the wall as he waited for me to wake up. The video ended so I shut off my phone’s screen and laid it face down on Wesker’s chest so I didn’t have to try to get it back into my pocket. 

“Do you feel enlightened?” Wesker asked and I nodded against his chest. He sighed and adjusted so his cheek rested against the top of my head. 

“You know I thought it was just me you were acting weird with but it’s nice seeing you being playful with Jill too.” I said with a smile growing on my face. 

“I was not being playful.” he argued. “You make it sound as if I’m going soft.” 

“Aren’t you?” I asked cheekily and he scoffed but didn’t answer. I had only been joking but… was he? I wanted to press for the meaning behind his lack of an answer but he was saved from that when my phone rang. He wrinkled his nose as he lifted my vibrating and ringing phone from his chest and offered it over to me. 

“That was unpleasant, don’t do it again.” he ordered and I chuckled as I answered Jill’s call. 

“Hey.” 

“Hey, we’re on our way down so you’re going to have to lock Wesker in.” I sat up at the news and looked down at Wesker as if assessing his threat level. 

“Why?” I asked, deciding that he wasn’t one. 

“Because the director said so.” she responded coldly though it wasn’t directed at me. 

“Shouldn’t that be up to me and Claire?” 

“That’s what I thought but allowing her in is a security risk so they’re trying to put as many barriers between Wesker and escape as possible.” she explained with a sigh. 

“Why would I want to escape? I have what I want here.” Wesker asked, winking at me when my eyes met his and I blushed before looking away again. 

“They’re also worried he may be trying to use Claire as a hostage.” the woman continued, either not hearing the blond man or ignoring him. I almost laughed even though there was a part of me that believed it and wondered about the possibility. But no, Wesker’s put actual effort into getting closer to me so he wouldn’t just throw all of that away now by threatening Claire. “We’re getting into the elevator now so you’ve got a minute to get to the door.” 

“Okay, okay, I’m going.” I told her as I quickly got out of bed, eager to see my sister. We both hung up and I was about to leave the room when I stopped and looked back at the other man with an apologetic expression. 

“Go spend time with your sister.” he dismissed me with a wave of his hand and I smiled at him full of gratitude before I turned to leave again. “Chris.” he called to stop me and I looked back again with my hand on the door handle. “Remember to eat.” he reminded me and my smile softened. 

“Right because I would surely starve without you cooking for me.” I stated with a playfully mocking tone and he actually smiled back at me. 

“Precisely.” I wanted to go over and kiss him, this whole tender moment we shared lifted my spirits so much but I wanted to see Claire more. I shut his door and locked it up before rushing over to the front door, wringing my hands together as I impatiently waited. I had been waiting for it but I still jumped when the locks started to noisily disengage. My heart pounded as I willed the door to open already and when it finally did… Claire was standing there. She was in my arms in an instant and I was so overcome with relief and joy at having her with me safe and sound that I hid my face in her hair in case I started crying. In my good mood, I lifted her up and spun her around. She laughed in her happiness, her arms squeezing around my neck but not uncomfortably. I put the redhead down and she released the bear hug. I cupped her face in my hands as I pressed our foreheads together to stare into her eyes. 

“Don’t you ever scare me like that again or I’ll die of a heart attack and haunt you forever.” I tried to be serious but the smile wouldn’t leave my lips and neither would hers. 

“You act like this is the first life threatening situation I’ve been in.” she laughed and I kissed her head before pulling her into another hug. She was right, I was probably overreacting to this but it was a unique situation. When I heard she had been caught up in other outbreaks, it was after the fact and I knew she was okay. While she was being held prisoner at Rockford Island I was able to go to rescue her, I wasn’t trapped thinking she was dead or dying, I was able to do something about it. Knowing she was in active danger and being helpless to do anything about it… it ate me alive. 

“Alright my turn.” Jill called from behind Claire as she wedged her way into our embrace. She stood on her toes to hug me tightly and I happily returned it. “Glad to see you’re doing better.” she softly said to me and I nodded into her shoulder. 

“Well Wesker really helped keep me calm all day.” I told her before we parted and she smirked at me. 

“So I saw.” I looked at her in confusion over the knowing look she gave me. “I stopped by the monitoring station before we came down, I saw you two cuddling.” heat rushed to my face and I covered it with my hands. 

“Stop reminding me there are cameras everywhere.” I groaned and she laughed. 

“Well I’ve gotta get out of here since-” she raised her voice to make a point of making sure Wesker could hear her. “the party invitation doesn’t extend to me.” I doubted the man would shout through the door to reply but I could imagine the smirk he wore. I had no doubt he would be fine with her staying but we couldn’t turn this into a social event for a lot of reasons. 

“How long do we have?” I questioned and the blonde woman’s attention returned to me. 

“Three hours.” she answered apologetically but I nodded. It was less than I was hoping but more than I was expecting. “Glad you’re okay.” she said to Claire who smiled at her and said thank you. I guessed they already hugged it out. “I’ll be on cams if you need me.” she called over her shoulder as she left, the solid door closing behind her. I looked to Claire and we smiled at each other before hugging one more time for good measure. 

We sat at the couch for quite some time, just talking and it was honestly a great reassurance that everything was okay. She told me more about the whole experience, confided in me her sorrow over those that didn’t make it, and I comforted her. Though I noticed how Claire’s attention would shift to Wesker’s door from time to time and eventually she addressed it. 

“Jill told me this visit was his idea.” she informed me and I nodded in confirmation. “Why?” I looked away from her and shrugged. 

“It’s…” I sighed. “it’s hard to explain.” her expression turned to one of concern. 

“If it was anyone else I wouldn’t have to ask but it’s hard to see him actually caring.” she explained and I was silent for a long moment because it somehow made perfect sense to me in a way it wouldn’t have even just a week ago but it was impossible to put into words. 

“I’m not sure I would call it caring exactly but in his own way, he sorta does.” it all came out as more of a question since I wasn’t sure that was right and I knew it didn’t make any sense. 

“I don’t think she was supposed to but Jill also told me about Wesker giving up one of his contacts to calm you down.” her voice had lowered and she leaned closer to me to continue in a whisper with her hand on my arm. “That sounds like caring.” I stared at her with wide eyes and no matter how much I searched her gaze, I couldn’t make sense of what she was saying. Her eyes were soft and knowing but her lips were pursed with worry like she herself was still unsure of something. In the end I could only turn away from her gaze though I saw her soft smile from the corner of my eye. 

“Are you hungry?” I suddenly asked as I stood up. “If I don’t eat, Wesker will be on my ass about it later.” I explained before realizing how that might sound but the redhead didn’t react in any sort of way that might indicate that she might have taken it to mean something dirty. I started toward the kitchen, pausing as I passed near Wesker’s closed door. I wanted him to join us… I knew I probably shouldn’t want Wesker anywhere near Claire… but I did, I wanted them to get along. My chest ached painfully at the thought of the three of us as a family, knowing it could never happen. 

“How about Wesker join us for dinner?” Claire suggested and my eyes widened as I turned to look at her in astonishment. I wanted to say something- tried to say something but nothing came out as I continue to stare at my sister dumbly. “Oh come on, I don’t mind breaking the rules for this and I’m sure you don’t either.” I mean… she was right but I didn’t think she would want Wesker out of his room so I hadn’t even thought of asking. “And I’m sure he would love to break the rules.” 

“You would be correct.” Wesker’s voice chuckled low from the other side of his door. I watched as my sister tensed, clearly unsettled by actually interacting with the dangerous man. 

“Are you sure?” I asked her hesitantly, unaware that my body had already moved closer to the locked door with eager energy. 

“I want to properly thank him.” she confirmed with a hard nod. My hands moved on their own to undo the locks and I opened the door with a smile as Wesker stepped out. Claire’s jaw tensed and she watched him intently with a hard expression but I could tell she at least tried not to glare at him. His eyes swept over her once and I knew he was doing a quick analysis of her but apparently he didn’t find anything that interested him because he turned to me. 

“What do you feel like eating?” he asked calmly, his fingers gently brushing mine as if asking for permission to hold my hand. I knew the gesture had more meaning than just that though, he wasn’t just asking about right now, he was asking if I was okay with it at all during the visit. Was I okay showing affection with Wesker in front of Claire? Even though I knew I was supported, it was still embarrassing just having people know I was attracted to a man- this man in particular. I knew I would eventually get over it and I was okay showing my comfort with Wesker now but looking at the redhead’s uneasy posture… no, more for her sake, I wasn’t okay with it for now. I moved my hand away from his and though there wasn’t a reaction in any of his facial features, he stood just a little straighter like he was becoming more attentive of himself and his actions. Not that he wasn’t always aware and thought everything through, but it showed he was watching himself not to act in a way that would put me in an uncomfortable position. I appreciated that and… the desire to kiss him came back to me. 

“Wesker, I want to th-” 

“I would rather you didn’t.” the blond interrupted the woman as he faced her again with a blank expression. “Nothing I did was for you nor does whatever ‘care’ you think me to have extend to you.” he spoke these words with such a straight face it was hard to believe. 

“Wesker!” 

“It’s okay Chris.” Claire told me and when I looked back to her she was calmer as if having expected Wesker to make up some pretense of friendship and having that belief shattered was a relief. “I already knew that and he’s just speaking his mind.” she couldn’t help the glare she had on him though. “Still, thank you for helping my brother.” she nodded to him and after a thoughtful moment, he returned it. They were caught in a fierce staring contest as she searched him for answers to unasked questions and he held her gaze to not show fault. And here I was stuck in the middle of it and I worried about even breathing as if this was the formation of a very important truce and any word from me would break it since I was the foundation of that truce. “Dinner?” Claire asked so suddenly as she looked back at me with a forced smile that I almost jumped. Wesker’s gaze also returned to me, still waiting on an answer to his previous related question. I looked back and forth between them in confusion because while they seemed to come to some sort of understanding, the atmosphere was still heavy with tension which made me awkward as the only one either of them was here for. 

“I hate you both.” I muttered as I turned my back to them to walk into the kitchen. I opened the fridge door and looked over the contents. I was hungry but wasn’t sure if anything sounded good though at the same time I was sure if there was any type of food in front of me I would eat it. Why was it up to me to choose? Wesker stepped behind me, intentionally reaching around my body to open the freezer door, having to get even closer to peer in so his chest was touching my shoulder and back. “I thought we had an agreement.” I whispered to him and he smirked. 

“Go spend more time with your sister while I make dinner for the two of you.” Wesker said with a nod back to the living room. 

“Are you not eating with us?” Claire’s voice asked from behind us, having come into the kitchen as well. When we both turned to see her it put our faces far too close so I had to back away from the blond which made him smirk at me again before he returned his attention to the freezer. 

“No.” was all he said as he pulled out some pork chops and I was glad I didn’t have to decide what to eat now. 

“He doesn’t have to eat very often.” I explained further, motioning for the redhead to follow me as I stepped around her to head back into the living room. 

“It’s an occasion.” she pressed and that got inhuman eyes to finally turn to her with an analytical eye. After a moment of looking her over, Wesker looked to me so I just shrugged and he sighed. 

“If you insist.” he said before getting to his task and Claire forced a smile before she turned to walk back to the couch. 

“Make some mashed potatoes while you’re at it.” she called from over her shoulder and the atmosphere drained of life in an instant when Wesker leveled a glare at the back of her head. I tensed when his eyes turned to me full of demanding irritation and I could tell he wanted to do something about the redhead giving him an order. I shrugged sheepishly and mouthed the word ‘sorry’ at him. I didn’t want him to do anything because I couldn’t guarantee how it would turn out. I also didn’t want to do anything about it on his behalf since that would make him feel like he couldn’t handle Claire on his own. He closed his eyes, took a moment to himself, and got to cooking. “What’s his problem?” the woman asked as I sat with her again on the couch. 

“Don’t.” I shook my head at her and though she seemed confused by my defensive posture, she didn’t question it. I knew she was just trying to play around to seem like she was more comfortable with the situation than she really was but considering who Wesker was, it had come off more rude than anything. 

… … … 

“You didn’t!” Claire shrieked in horror at the news and I nodded sadly. “It was your favorite!” she continued and I just continued to nod, staring past her to the spot on the wall I had thrown and shattered the coffee mug she had given to me for my last birthday. “I’ll order you a new one.” she suddenly said as she pulled out her phone but I snatched it from her. 

“I broke it, I’ll replace it.” I told her strictly and she pouted at me for a second before rolling her eyes. 

“Fine.” she held her hand out for her phone so I placed it on her upturned palm. “Speaking of drinks, can I have some water?” 

“Yeah.” I stood and walked into the kitchen, pulling open the fridge to grab a cold water bottle. 

“Thank you.” I heard Wesker say softly and turned to him. 

“For what?” I asked in surprised confusion, keeping my voice low as he had so Claire couldn’t hear us. 

“I understand how much it means for you to trust me with your beloved sister.” he explained shortly without looking at me. Having seen a little of his eyes, I stepped up next to him and peered around to get a look at their bright orange color. He looked away from me. “I’m simply trying to assure you I understand how much I’m being given at this moment and I won’t risk making you regret it.” I again noticed the embarrassed dusting of red on his ears and what I could still see of his cheeks. I smiled and took his free hand, squeezing it lightly. 

“You’ve earned it and I know I’m not going to regret this one bit. I probably shouldn’t but I trust you Wesker.” I told him sincerely and he slowly turned to face me, his own genuine smile spreading over his lips. He very subtly leaned toward me before stopping himself. 

“May I kiss you?” he whispered and the sound was so sensual and earnest, the only reason I didn’t kiss him as an answer was because I caught the movement of his eyes very briefly darting to the side. I followed the inhuman gaze to see Claire still sitting on the couch with her arms folded and her eyes awkwardly diverted. Her lips were pursed and her eyebrows raised like she found everything she looked at so much more interesting than the two of us. My face lit up and I took a step back, realizing just how close I’d gotten to the other man. Wesker chuckled, shook his hand from my grip, and returned his gaze to what he was cooking. “Later.” he simply stated before his voice lost its subtlety. “The food is almost ready.” I nodded and went back to Claire, sitting next to her and awkwardly fidgeted with my hands. 

“So…” 

“So…” I repeated which only made it more awkward. “Food’s almost done.” I offered a change of topic and my sister readily accepted it. 

“Great, that’s great. Should we set the table or something?” she furthered the conversation, her gaze returning to me more casually and I followed suit. 

“Uh, no I think Wesker’s dishing the plates.” I informed her before looking at the table, realizing there was only one chair. I looked to my bedroom door to see the other one was still there against the wall but that didn’t solve the issue of us being one chair short. “But we can move my desk chair out here.” she stood and nodded enthusiastically. 

“And we can move your TV out like you’ve been talking about too.” she said as I followed her to my room. I waited as she took a moment to examine the broken lock though she didn’t question it since she already knew the story. My eyes found Wesker and I felt heat rising in my body. I knew what I wanted. Before we started, I texted Jill. 

We moved the TV first, bringing the end table it was on out as well and hooked everything up in front of the couch. I made sure to tell Wesker to be careful of the cords trailing to the nearest outlet even though I was sure he didn’t need to be told. Regardless he acknowledged me with a hum. Claire wheeled my desk chair out of my room and I brought over the other dining chair to the table just as Wesker set two plates on its surface. Claire sat in my padded chair in the spot I usually sat, Wesker returned with a third plate and took his place, and I sat between them. Already I had a bad feeling about my position here as the literal middle man but there was nothing to be done about it since having these two next to each other would be worse. 

No one immediately made conversation so we ate in silence for nearly half the meal until Claire finally cleared her throat and spoke. 

“So you care about Chris?” she asked as she eyed the blond man. I held back a groan and forced myself not to bury my face in my hands. I took another bite. Wesker on the other hand took a thoughtful breath and his eyes found the ceiling as he thought it over. Then he turned his gaze to me. 

“What would you call it?” I did sigh this time but gave it a moment of thought. 

“Possessive.” the word came to me easily and Wesker nodded, his eyes briefly meeting Claire’s. 

“That sounds closer to accurate than what you said.” he said before taking another bite. My sister’s baby blue eyes flickered between us before she finally put down her fork. 

“Okay seriously, this is all so weird!” she exclaimed before her narrowed eyes settled on Wesker. “What’s your game?” she demanded with a harsh tone. Yup… definitely not awkward and tense being in the middle of this. I was torn on what I should do. I couldn’t take Wesker’s side and tell Claire to calm down because she’s his little sister- plus it was an excellent question and I wanted to know too. And I couldn’t take Claire’s side and double down on interrogating Wesker or it might put a drift between everything we’ve built. So I stuck to quietly picking at my food, keeping my eyes on my plate though I often peeked at the other two. Wesker sighed and put his fork down to give the redhead his full attention. 

“My goal with this surrender was to spend time alone with Chris and I’m getting exactly that.” he answered without looking away from the woman as they engaged in another staring contest. Wait… really? That was the whole reason? I finally get the ‘why’ he’s been keeping from me and it’s just… he was just saying that. There had to be another reason. 

“Why?” she pressed. 

“Because I have spared his life time and time again, even though I hate him, due to the amusement he provided with his naive chase and stubborn self righteousness.” 

“Hey.” I called in offense but they both ignored me. 

“I was finally going to kill him in the mansion to put an end to the endless interruptions. However I came to the realization that I didn’t want him dead.” Wesker continued to explain and I recalled one of the first letters he gave me that stated that very thing. 

“Why?” Claire asked again, now more intrigued than accusing. 

“That’s what I’m here to figure out.” and with that answered, he resumed eating to signal that the conversation was over but Claire wasn’t having it. 

“Have you figured it out?” 

“I believe I have.” Wesker surprisingly replied before taking another bite of his food. 

“Are you going to share?” Claire continued to press and Wesker shook his head. “Well what are you going to do now that you know?” Wesker didn’t even bother acknowledging her this time which drew an annoyed huff from the redhead. Honestly she was lucky to have gotten as much as she did out of him. She looked to me like I was supposed to do something about him being uncooperative. I shrugged at her much the same way I did at Wesker when he gave me this same look over her. Luckily she huffed again and also went back to eating. And they both left me alone. Thank god. 

… … … 

Jill called to tell me she would be down for Claire in ten minutes so I would need to have Wesker locked in his room again. I smiled to myself but didn’t point out how it had been the first time she had referred to it as his room rather than his cell. I remembered my own little trip into comfort with that and… it felt like so long ago. 

Chris: Did you have time
Jill: Don’t worry I got it 

I sighed in relief at the confirmation, having been worried she wouldn’t have enough time to find someone to cover for her. Fortunately it seemed she had so she was able to run out and pick it up for me. I’d ordered something from a… shop, making sure it was in stock and placed Jill as the pickup person. They were able to get it ready in time and she was able to get there and back before the three hours were up so she could give it to me while picking up Claire. Unfortunately… it had to get cleared to get in here. I’m just glad I didn’t know who was in charge of that process otherwise I’m not sure I could face them after this. 

Jill: I still think you should have gotten something bigger 

Blush rushed to my face and I angrily typed out my response to that. 

Chris: We already talked about this
Chris: I’m not trying to match him 

“What’s the matter with you?” Wesker asked from the kitchen where he was washing the dishes after dinner. He seemed amused that I was a blushing mess which I glared at him for. 

“Nothing.” I declared too loudly. I was just checking on my delivery while Claire was using my bathroom. It wasn’t supposed to turn into this but of course everyone loved to tease me. 

Jill: They had so many with cool features
Chris: I don’t need any features
Jill: Holy shit can you get any redder
Chris: Thanks for picking it up for me and all but fuck you 

I could imagine her laughing at me and groaned. Then there was a gasp from behind me and I yelped as I rushed to press my phone to my chest to prevent anyone from seeing it. Claire stood with her hand to her mouth, her eyes wide, and a light blush on her cheeks. I wondered how much she had read but I knew the last time either of us had said what the item was wasn’t quite off the screen yet so she probably saw it. She was blushing- of course she saw! 

“Why are you snooping?” I demanded as I turned my screen off and shoved the damned device in my pocket. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were having such a private conversation.” she exclaimed before covering her eyes. “God how do I unsee that?” we both groaned and turned away from each other. 

“What is-” 

“Nothing!” I shouted again to stop Wesker’s question. I cursed my luck and could imagine Jill laughing her ass off watching this whole scene. “Jill’s gonna be on her way down soon so you-” I pointed to Claire though I couldn’t look at her. “make sure you have all your stuff. And you-” I pointed now to the blond man accompanied by a pleading look. “go to your room.” I told him which made his eyebrows shoot up. He didn’t seem angry at the command like he had been when Claire told him to do something, he seemed a little surprised but amused, maybe even a little impressed. He still ignored me and continued to finish the dishes. I sat there while Claire put her shoes back on and double checked herself for her belongings. Jill texted me that she was on her way down so I relayed the information to Wesker who then dried his hands on a cloth and walked into his room. I wasn’t going to bother locking it since Claire was just slipping out but I didn’t want to risk him seeing that Jill was bringing me something and get curious. So I walked over to lock him in. 

Back at the front door and putting our awkwardness aside, my sister and I embraced in a tight hug and didn’t let go. 

“Be careful, okay?” I mumbled as I laid my head on top of hers. 

“You too.” she nodded. I sighed in disappointment when the locks on the front door disengaged. “I love you Chris.” 

“I love you too.” I told her as we parted when the door opened. Jill didn’t step in as Claire stepped out, just passed me a small black bag which I quickly took from her. Noticing it, Claire cringed slightly as a blush crept onto her face. I saw Jill bite her lip to stop from laughing so I glared at her. “Thank you.” I said through my teeth and she grinned. 

“Do I get a tip for the delivery?” she teased and I pretended to rummage through my pocket with my free hand before pulling it back out with my middle finger raised to her. Both girls laughed and I joined in. 

“Bye.” Claire called with a wave that I returned. 

“Enjoy.” Jill smirked and I rolled my eyes. The door shut and I wasted no time rushing to my bedroom, stopping at my dresser to add the fleshlight to the bag before storing it under my bathroom sink. I wasn’t worried about Wesker going through my things whenever he was in my room, I didn’t even care that my door couldn’t lock anymore. But these things needed to be secured against all possibility of discovery. I shut my bathroom door and my bedroom door before walking across the living room to Wesker’s door. 

I unlocked and opened it only to be met with lips on mine. Wesker’s arms dragged me closer to his body and his lips pressed to mine comfortably. I moaned into the kiss as my eyes closed and my arms encircled his neck. Then his tongue slid over my lips and I readily opened my mouth to allow him entrance. I let him lead as he moved us to the side so he could press my back to the wall with his hands rested comfortably on my hips. I was expecting this to be more frantic than it was and found I was content that it was more sensual than sexual. It was Wesker who pulled out of the short make out session we’d been having but I still panted from excitement. I looked into his orange eyes and smiled happily. 

“Thank you. For all of this.” I whispered and he kissed me again. I was surprised when he let me go with one hand to find one of mine, removing it from around his neck to hold it to our sides. I wondered if this was making up for before when he was denied my hand. That brought the questions I had over his and Claire’s conversation at dinner to mind and I had to ask. “Why don’t you want me dead?” I asked and the blond sighed deeply before softly kissing my lips one more time. 

“Because I do care about you Chris.” his voice was low and his tone was gentle, he sounded sincere. I was frozen by the admission and searched his eyes for dishonesty for a long time but… I couldn’t find any. I was at a loss for words. Here was another moment where everything between us changed and I didn’t know how to process this. Wesker cared about me. I mean I knew that to some extent but I wasn’t lying to Claire when I said I wouldn’t exactly call it care in the traditional meaning. But for the man himself to say those words to me… my heart wouldn’t settle and my head spun but there was also a lace of pain in the words. This wouldn’t last forever even though I wanted it to. “Go get some rest, it’s been a long day.” he said as he backed up so I could get off of the wall though he didn’t release my hand. “And do try not to overthink it or you’ll be snippy with me in the morning.” that got me to smile and though I wanted to kiss him goodnight, I didn’t. I needed to think. I let go of his hand but before I could leave, Wesker stopped me. “Last night’s and tonight’s.” he said as he retrieved several pages of paper from his desk and handed them over to me. 

“Thanks.” I said again with a smile before I turned and left, feeling his eyes on me as I made my way back into my own room. I sat on my bed and zoned out for a while before shaking my head and looking down at the two letters in my hands. Last night’s letter was ‘Chris’s Birthday’ and tonight’s letter was ‘Mother Hen’. 

~~~ 

Mother Hen 

“I’m sorry Captain.” the man pleaded with me over the phone. “I’ll be back to work first thing Monday morning.” he’d broken his arm because of course he had. It wasn’t even a work related injury, he’d been out goofing off doing god knows what with the other two trouble makers. Somehow whatever they were doing led to Chris breaking his arm. 

“With the doctor’s full clearance?” I had to ask since it wouldn’t be above Chris to come in before he was cleared. 

“Yes.” he declared firmly and I gave him a moment to correct himself. I came into the office to find a fax from the hospital putting Chris on medical leave from work. It also listed his restrictions upon return though he wouldn’t be cleared for field duty until the doctor saw him again after the cast was off. That would take at least a couple of weeks. “Yes.” he stated again though less sure of himself. “I’m not clear for fieldwork and I’m on restrictions but they said I can go into the office by Monday.” he finally relented with a defeated sigh. 

“Was that so difficult?” I huffed into the speaker as I inched my sunglasses up to pinch the bridge of my nose. We weren’t particularly busy at the moment but being down my pointman was never optimal. 

“Sorry Wesker.” he mumbled like a scolded child. 

“These things happen, at least you’re alright.” I told him though I was rather annoyed over the situation. 

“I can come in to-” 

“Monday is already pushing it.” I told him sharply. “Take your time to recover. You’re of no use to the team if you’re not at your best.” he sighed as I spoke. 

“Yes sir.” I was about to hang up when he spoke again. “Thanks for calling to check on me.” I was at a loss for how to respond to that. Of course I called, he hadn’t. Then again it was very early and the time of the hospital visit was listed to have been only a few hours ago. Perhaps I should have been surprised to find out he was still awake after leaving the hospital. Perhaps I should have waited for a more reasonable hour to call him but I needed to be made aware of these kinds of situations as soon as possible to better plan around them. 

“Of course, it’s one of my duties.” I simply said even as my mind wandered to the last time Barry had been hurt on a mission and all I needed was confirmation of when he would return to work. But that had been different, I had already known that he was hurt and was the one that saw him to the ambulance. 

I ended the call before he could drag on the conversation. I had the information I needed so there was nothing more to discuss. I tapped my finger against my desk as I finally got around to turning on my computer. It would be quieter around the office without Chris especially with Joseph trying to lay low lest he get into trouble for being a part of whatever shenanigan was behind the temporary loss of our pointman. He wouldn’t, of course, there was no reason to punish him at work for something that happened off duty. Even if I might have a few choice words for both him and Forest- and Chris. Of course Chris as well since he was mostly to blame for this. 

Chris wasn’t much of a cook even without a broken arm. What was he going to do about meals? 

… … … 

The sharpshooter was surprised when he opened his front door to find me standing before him. 

“Captain!” he looked around me as if I were a mere illusion and he would find someone else at his doorstep. “What are you doing here?” already he was exaggerating this turn of events, it wasn’t the first time I’d come to his apartment to check on him when he’d been hurt yet he always seemed just shocked. 

“Making sure you eat more than junk while you’re handicapped.” I answered as I held up the bag I carried. He eyed it carefully like it would explode and though I secretly rolled my eyes at his hesitance, I waited patiently for him to finally accept it. “Three full meals, refrigerate leftovers, the tupperware is microwave safe.” I informed him before turning to leave. 

“Wait- Wesker!” he stopped me with an outstretched hand though he didn’t touch me. “Uh… do you… do you want to come in and… eat with me?” his face was red with a mild fever that he was no doubt on medication for but it seemed to grow redder during our conversation. He shouldn’t be up, he needed to rest. 

“I only prepared one serving per dish.” that and the fact there was one of Umbrella’s more exclusive medicines mixed into some of the ingredients to help quicken his healing so only he should eat it. He shrank a little at the rejection before his eyebrows flew up in surprise. 

“You made the food?” he asked in astonishment. “You can cook?” 

“Of course I can, it’s only chemistry.” I also believed it to be a basic life skill but I knew I was far above the required level for the average male, even one living alone. 

“Oh, okay.” he narrowed his eyes at the floor, seeming to try for something to say quickly. “Um… do you want to come in and have a drink?” he tried again and as nearly tempting as that sounded, I checked my watch. I had left the office late so the cooking didn’t get done within the time frame I allotted which placed me here later than intended and this wasn’t my last errand before returning home for the night. 

“I have other matters to attend to before the day is through.” I delivered the news as stoically as any other but it still made Chris deflate in disappointment. 

“Alright, maybe some other time.” he said with finality and I nodded more to be able to leave sooner than out of agreeance. I didn’t make a habit of 'hanging out’ with my team after hours, this was only the third time I’d come to check on Chris at his home and the first with a gift. 

“Goodnight Chris.” I turned again to make my exit. 

“Goodnight Wesker.” he called after me though I didn’t hear his door close but I couldn’t be bothered to look back at him to see why. I would call him tomorrow to make sure he ate and had taken whatever medication he was prescribed. The sooner I got him back to full health, the sooner he could fully return to work, and the sooner STARS could return to normal working functionality. 

Chapter Text

To even my own surprise, I didn’t overthink it. In fact I slept rather well yet again. I knew, even with how outrageous it might seem, that Wesker hadn’t been lying when he said that he actually cared about me and that made me inexplicably happy. I still feared the end of the month and what Wesker would do but I was believing less and less that his plans would involve hurting me in any way, at least not intentionally. So even after this month was over and he most likely made his inevitable escape, I had hope that things could actually be different. I couldn’t tell if that was a rational hope or a blind one but I was content with not knowing for now. I considered telling Jill or Claire what he said and asking their opinion but I thought better of it. Those words were just for me and I wanted to keep them for myself. 

I slid out of bed and opened my door, spying Wesker in his room. He was still lying in bed and his head tilted a little to see me better around the frame of his door from where I stood. He was shirtless and I felt a sharp heat pulse through my body. He was waiting for me. As if to confirm my hunch, he smirked and raised one hand to motion me to him with his forefinger. As I made my way to his room, I stopped in front of the couch in a brief hesitation. I was sure we both knew where we stood now and he understood that I wasn’t ready for sex but we could work up to that. So it could be fun to tease him back. I stripped off my shirt and left it on the couch before completing my trek to his bedroom. His red eyes narrowed with lust as they hungrily raked over my exposed torso and more heat came to my face. 

He scooted closer to the wall to give me room to slide into bed with him, lifting then draping the blanket over me. I was both glad and a little disappointed that he was wearing pants. I confidently turned onto my side to lay my head on his shoulder while my arm slid over his stomach to rest comfortably across it. With his left arm now trapped under my head, he moved it so his hand settled on my waist and just like that we were so naturally comfortable together. 

“Morning.” I said cheerfully and he hummed thoughtfully in return. “I didn’t overthink it.” I found myself telling him and I felt his head turn to look down at me so I turned my gaze up to meet his. 

“No?” 

“No. Whatever happens at the end of this month will happen so I’m content to just focus on the now.” I explained, loving the smile that spread on the blond’s lips with each word that I spoke. He moved his arm almost completely out from under me to prop himself up on that elbow so he half leaned over me. 

“Excellent.” he whispered before his lips connected with mine. I accepted his kiss, even initiating it to deepen as I embraced him. My nails purposefully clawed at his back to elicit a response which was granted to me in the form of a low growl and a soft bite on my lower lip. I chuckled happily before our lips were together again with more urgency. 

We made out and teased each other with bites and scratches for at least… I couldn’t tell the passage of time through the feverish way my head spun with need. Wesker had moved completely over me, one of his knees between my legs and when it shifted higher to put a little pressure onto my erection I jolted with pleasure. I moved a hand down to… I don’t know what I was planning to do with it but I think it had something to do with grabbing at least one of us. Not giving me the chance to figure it out, the other man snatched my wrist and pinned it beside my head where he already had my other hand unbeknownst to me. Removing his lips from my neck to my ear, he licked around the shell before he whispered into it. 

“Shall we take this to your bedroom?” his voice was low and heavy with need, making me moan to the sound alone. 

“God yes.” I whimpered to him without thinking and he chuckled, low and satisfied. 

“That’s right, I’m your god.” even in the heat of the moment I picked up on the dangerous tone his voice had taken to that implication. It didn’t scare me or even cause worry- it turned me on. He sat up on his knees to tower over me, trapping one of my legs under him. He had released one of my wrists but now held the other to his chest so my palm was against his pale skin. “Worship your god.” and I did. My hands roamed his exposed body, trailing over every line and curve as if my fingers wished to memorize the glorious figure before me as much as my eyes did. Eventually I sat up to run my tongue over the salty skin of his chest, wrapping my arms around his midsection as I did to feel around his back muscles. He hummed in approval and I moaned in need when I felt his erection against my stomach. I wanted it- I wanted all of him. My tongue moved slickly over one of his nipples and I took a moment to gently take the small nub between my teeth. As soon as my teeth moved off of it, Wesker’s hand gripped my hair to harshly pull my head back so I was looking up into his lustful red eyes. “You’re going to go into your bedroom, take off the rest of your clothes, and lay down in bed for me.” he growled the order and my heart hammered in my chest with the need to obey him. 

“No, wait, wait, no.” I shook my head so he would release my hair. “I’m hungry.” I rushed out with wide fearful eyes that seemed to shock him. It took a moment for him to process that I was chickening out of this encounter and trying to change the subject but when he did, he growled low at me and his eyes flashed momentarily. He closed his eyes and turned his head to the ceiling as he inhaled deeply. He took a moment to himself and I lowered my hands away from his body as if that would help calm him down somehow. I rubbed at the back of my neck nervously, knowing what I had done to him and feeling guilty over it. Eventually he lowered his head onto mine so our foreheads were together though he didn’t open his eyes yet. Another minute passed before he finally opened his eyes and I saw they were still red though they no longer glowed. He was still annoyed with me but he had gotten over his anger. 

“You may be the death of me yet Chris.” he muttered in irritation and I chuckled sheepishly. I leaned slightly forward to kiss him just to be sure we were okay. He returned the quick reassuring gesture so yeah, we were fine. 

“Probably the best way I could kill you.” I told him and he rolled his eyes before getting off of me and the bed altogether. I couldn’t help how my eyes darted to his crotch only to be disappointed that he wasn’t hard anymore so I couldn’t indirectly see his dick. 

“I beg to differ.” he countered before offering me his hand. My boner had time to go away as well so I took his hand and let him help me to my feet. “What would you like to eat today?” 

… … … 

After we worked out, I told Wesker I felt like taking a long shower which he didn’t really respond to as he already had a book in hand. I slipped into my room, now all too aware that my door no longer had the ability to lock but my bathroom door still did. Two closed doors and the running shower should be plenty to keep my planned activities to myself. Pulling the item out of the bag made me cringe at the thought of what I was about to do to myself. 

I wasn’t very aware of what all the world of sex toys had to offer but I figured an anal plug would be a good place to start as far as getting my body used to penetration went. But thanks to Jill that’s not what I ended up ordering. It was a small, emphasis on the small, dildo. I shouldn’t have talked to her about it first, I should have just ordered the plug and sent her out for it. She had somehow managed to convince me that the plug wouldn’t do much to get me adjusted before asking how big Wesker was. I very calmly explained to her that I didn’t know and she shouldn’t be thinking of such things which she apparently found my rationality over the subject extremely funny. I told her I wasn’t trying to match Wesker, not that I would be able to anyway since I didn’t know how big he was… then I was thinking about it too. I can not express how difficult it was to keep from reacting so noticeably to all this as Claire and I were moving stuff around though at one point I did need to excuse myself to go to the bathroom just to have a second to calm down. 

I had no doubt Wesker was well endowed, I had only felt his cock against me for a brief time but it was more than enough to time he wasn’t small. So maybe Jill was right that while the plug would have gotten my body at least familiar with the foreign feeling of having something in my ass at all, it would have been miles apart from getting ready for Wesker. So this dildo was a fair middle ground. It would get me used to the feeling of being penetrated and stretch me enough that hopefully it wouldn’t be too painful by the time I had sex with Wesker. I froze as the thought passed by me. It really wasn’t a fantasy or an ‘if’ anymore, was it? I was going to have sex with Albert Wesker. 

God was this really going to happen? I sat there for a minute, telling myself that everything was fine and that there was nothing to be nervous about. Lots of guys had sex with other guys and enjoyed it immensely. From the little we’ve already done so far Wesker seemed like a generous lover, he wanted to make me feel good too so it would be fine. He’d make sure I was okay throughout because he… he cares about me. That thought got me undressed and into the shower, bringing the toy in with me. I was going to do this because I cared about him too and more than anything I wanted to be together with him. I wanted him and he wanted me- unfathomably so. 

I set the toy aside as I washed myself… thoroughly. My finger… fuck this was so embarrassing… I started with a finger. Reached around to my ass and slowly pressed inside. It was unfamiliar and uncomfortable and I didn’t like it. I wanted to stop, telling myself this wouldn’t work but pushed myself to keep going. I used a second finger and felt a lot of discomfort to separate them but I worked through it. The feeling I was experiencing was more discomfort than pain but the line began to blur with three fingers. The angle was awkward and I was really only doing this to get myself at least somewhat ready for the dildo so I didn’t give anything much time. After only pressing in maybe a dozen times and wiggling the digits around inside of myself for a while, I decided I was done with that. Was it supposed to feel good by now? Was I doing it wrong? 

I took a hold of the peach colored toy and sat on the floor of the shower, the spray missing me by only a little bit. I needed another moment to myself as I considered what I was doing and why. Wesker. Wesker. I’m doing this for Wesker. Why couldn’t I just leave preparing my body to him? I’m sure he would know what he was doing even if he’s never actually done it before. No, I’m a man, I could do this myself. I had to do it myself first, even if it was more for mental preparation rather than physical. 

I was gearing myself up to just get going already, about to run my tongue over the head to slick the silicone but I couldn’t do it. It was too embarrassing. I spit on my hand to rub it on instead which was only somewhat better. I reached to lower the temperature of the water since my body already felt like there was a fire burning inside. Taking a few deep breaths, I slowly spread my legs and lowered my hands between them. I pressed one and then two fingers in first before taking my sweet time replacing them with the head of the dildo. I leaned my head back against the wall of the shower and squeezed my eyes shut as I pushed the toy in further. The sensation was weird and uncomfortable and I didn’t like it. I wanted to stop- to just give up on this or at least try again later but I pressed on, taking the small toy little by little until it was all the way in. Fuck it felt so weird- I hated it! How do others- men or women enjoy this? I’d never done anal either giving or receiving but so far I didn’t think I was missing much. Maybe I was doing it wrong after all. 

I sat there until the dull pain faded as I took steadying breaths. Wesker. I was doing this for Wesker. Because I wanted to have sex with Wesker. That’s right. This toy… instead of this, I wanted Wesker’s cock inside of me. It was something I really wanted. I wanted him. I loved the way he had held his body over mine as his tongue attacked every part of me he could reach. I loved how he whispered into my ear with that low tantalizing voice of his that blurred the line of danger. My hand slowly pulled the toy almost all the way out of my ass before leisurely pushing it back in. His piercing lustful red eyes made my heart pound with eager anticipation. I cringed at the ache my pace sent up my spine but I continued. His breath clouded my head in a dense fog of desire. My hand increased the thrusting tempo and I bit my lip not to groan. His touch set my skin ablaze with longing. I wouldn’t say the sensation from the toy was pleasurable exactly but it wasn’t painful anymore and the discomfort was quickly receding. His lips on mine filled me with an insatiable craving for more of him. My left hand moved to my hardening dick and began to stroke in time with my right hand’s thrusting. 

Falling prey to my active imagination, I was now sitting in my shower with Wesker’s naked body pinning me back into the wall. His hands were on my face as he kissed me roughly, his penis already having taken the place of the toy I currently had inside of me. My body jolted with strong bolts of pleasure that forced both of my hands to move faster and I bit my lip to fight back a loud moan. His hands gripped at my thighs to keep them apart as he moved in and out of me and fuck it actually was starting to feel really good. 

“Wesker… nngh ahh…” I exhaled heavily into the humid air around me, moaning again before biting back onto my lip to stop myself. I forced my eyes open to remind myself that I was in here alone doing this to myself, that Wesker was in the other room, and that I did not want him to hear me. Still, thoughts of him seized my mind and fueled my imagination, spurring my actions on more and more. The base of my back ached already from the arch I was making and the near brutal pace I had set myself to but I didn’t stop- couldn’t stop. I wanted more- this wasn’t enough. I wanted Wesker for real. 

I came onto my stomach, drawing blood from my lip with my teeth in order to keep myself quiet. My body practically vibrated in the aftermath of my climax even after it was over. I eased the toy out of my body, causing small spasms as I did until it was out. I panted as my brain slowly caught up with what had just happened. I just had one of the best orgasms of my life simultaneously jacking off and fucking myself while thinking of Albert Wesker. And that was just with this small dildo. What will the real thing do to me? I shivered with anticipation. 

… … … 

A knock sounded on my door a few hours later and I called for Wesker to come in, refusing to get out of bed. As he opened my door to walk over to me, I pointed over to where the camera button was hoping he already knew so I didn’t have to move to do it. Luckily that seemed to be true as he tapped the button causing the red light on my room’s camera to blink on. He sat on the side of my bed I wasn’t on and held out a plate of food for me. I wanted to sit up and eat because I was hungry, having thought about getting up to get food earlier, but I didn’t think my lower back or my ass would appreciate the movement. I didn’t want Wesker to catch me flinching or he might figure out what was wrong with me. There was no way he could know what I did, even if he knew I had masturbated he didn’t know I had fucked myself with a toy and I wanted to keep that to myself. I especially wanted to keep it to myself that I did it too hard too quickly without proper lubrication since I figured it would have washed off in the shower and was now suffering the consequences for it. Worth it? Probably but the jury was still out on that. If he was Wesker that did this to me then yes, worth it without question. But it wasn’t so maybe not. 

I motioned for him to leave the food on my dresser but he didn’t. Instead he moved farther onto my bed to get closer to me, placing the plate on his own lap. He lifted the fork with food on it to my lips and I smiled at him before opening my mouth so he could feed me. He didn’t ask why I never rejoined him in the living room, why I was in bed, why I was acting like I didn’t feel good, or why my lip was split. He just sat with me and quietly fed me lunch until the food was gone. I thanked him and he nodded as he put the empty plate aside now. He looked over me but not with the clinical gaze he was most associated with but with the warm one only I knew and was getting more used to. I liked it and I couldn’t help but smile at him which he actually returned. Then he leaned over me to kiss my lips but not fully, just the side that was split and I chuckled nervously though offered no explanation nor did he ask for one. 

“Would you like some pain medication?” was all he wanted to know and I nodded in response, watching him leave then return with a bottle of water and the bottle of pills. I frowned and he raised a questioning eyebrow. 

“No magic water?” I asked as I took the water from him so he could open the pill bottle. 

“That would put you to sleep.” he informed me before handing over two small pills that I took while laying down, only tipping my head up to drink from the plastic bottle. 

“What if I wanna go to sleep?” he smirked at me before crawling onto my bed until he was right next to me so he could kiss me properly this time. 

“What if I don’t want you to?” he whispered seductively and my heart rate instantly picked up. I… I wanted to pull him down to kiss him and do so much more but I was still too sore and embarrassed about him possibly finding out what I did to myself. So I did the first thing that came to mind. I grabbed the pillow I wasn’t using and smacked him in the head with it. He was still smirking at me when it fell away so I knew he wasn’t mad about it but he did sit back, taking the hint. 

“Pervert.” I grumbled to myself since all he seemed to think about lately was sex. Though I guess I couldn’t really blame him. We’ve been getting closer physically and the tension has been building. At least I could relieve some of that on my own but he couldn’t with all the cameras although I liked to think of it as he was waiting for me… and I was keeping him waiting. Great now I felt guilty. The single word seemed to amuse him as he looked at me with a knowing expression that I tried to ignore. 

“Any requests for dinner?” he asked as he slid off of my bed. 

“Not really, I should be up by then anyway.” I answered and refrained from rolling onto my side. With that he again pressed the camera button to turn it off before taking the dirty plate and the pill bottle with him as he left, closing the door behind himself. When I was sure he wasn’t standing at my door anymore, I slowly rolled over and groaned at the ache my body protested with. Yeah, maybe not worth it. 

… … … 

It was another few hours until I did get up and for now my only plan was to make coffee. Wesker seemed to be in his room so I tried not to think about him while I prepared the coffee maker. I no longer felt any negative effects from this morning’s activities. Honestly I was probably just being a baby about it earlier but there was mental processing time needed too and I think I was over that as well. I used a sex toy on myself, not just any sex toy, I put a dildo in my own ass while wishing it was another man’s penis. And that was fine- everything was fine. I had always been a supporter of the gay community, as well as all the other additions that had joined over the years but I never considered myself to be a part of it. Sure I was attracted to Wesker even back in STARS but I knew it would never be anything more than an idyllic crush though I would never have called it that back then. I was born and raised in a time when that stuff was still shunned so I never allowed it to even be a fantasy. And it wasn’t like I was a closeted gay, I’m interested only in women… Wesker’s the only exception to that. Then it turned out he was a bad guy so I denied my feelings for him even harder and tried my best to bury them under my hatred for him. It wasn’t until he showed up with a rescued Jill that those feelings forced their way through everything else and I had to acknowledge them. 

Now here I was suddenly faced with all these purely gay desires I spent my life suppressing and I didn’t know how to deal with them. I didn’t think there was anything wrong with being gay, I just never thought I would actually be doing this stuff. So it was a very understandable needed adjustment, right? 

“You know I’m not used to having so much downtime.” I jumped in surprise hearing Wesker’s voice and turned to see him leaning against his door frame. “I’ve been trying to keep myself busy but I admit I haven’t been as successful in that endeavor as I was hoping.” he pushed off the frame to walk into the kitchen, stopping a few feet from me. I watched him and tried to figure out where he was going with this. “With so much time left for just my thoughts, I find them constantly coming back to you.” he tilted his head to the side ever so slightly as he studied me like I was the most interesting thing in the world. His intense and narrowed eyes brought heat to my face. “How you look.” he stepped closer to me. “How you sound.” another step. “How you smell.” his voice lowered with his next step and I certainly didn’t miss the way his tongue darted across his bottom lip hungrily. “How you taste.” he took the last step to be right next to me, his voice now just a whisper and his hand trailing across the small of my back. “How you feel.” his hand stopped on my side to pull me closer to his body as he leaned so his lips were at my ear. “You are driving me absolutely and maddeningly wild.” I swore his breath carried an aphrodisiac from what it was doing to me. I didn’t know what to do or what to say to that. Whatever effect I believed him to have on me, he was telling me I had the same effect on him too and that baffled me. I mean I’m nothing special, I’m a skilled soldier sure but I’m by no means the most attractive or smartest guy out there- that guy was standing next to me. I know my self worth enough to recognize I’m above average but I would still put the blond inhuman man leagues above me. So how the hell did a guy like me manage to ensnare Albert Wesker himself? “I thought you said you weren’t going to masturbate to tease me anymore?” he asked when I didn’t reply. There was that evil smirk that I didn’t like from him… although paired with his lustful eyes… it didn’t look too bad. 

“It… it wasn’t to tease you.” I blushed harder and finally tore my eyes away from him. I figured he would have heard me but at least he didn’t know exactly what I had done, I can imagine what a turn on that would be for him and I’m not sure I’d be able to keep him off of me. 

“There’s a lot more we could do without having sex.” he informed me and I felt my blood run hotter in yearning. My widened eyes turned to him suddenly and his expression was pure danger like I was a delicious meal he was about to devour whether I wanted it or not. Just then the coffee maker told me it was finished with the pot that was now ready to serve. I made a move to grab for it but Wesker’s hand caught my wrist. I stared down at our hands as he placed them flat on the counter. “Rather than do it yourself, allow me to take care of you.” his intoxicating voice… asked, commanded? I couldn’t tell but I made no move to stop him as he moved to stand behind me. In fact I was now slightly bent forward with my elbows on the counter. I told myself the blond had urged me down but he hadn’t, I did that on my own. 

Wesker leaned over me until he could put his hands on the counter at my sides. His body was flush against mine, his chest to my back, his lips to my ear as he breathed, and his… his crotch pressed against my ass. I held as still as I could as heat flooded my body, my heartbeat sped up, and I tried hard to control my breathing. His chest rose and fell against my back at a slightly faster pace than I remember him usually breathing and every puff of air that left him ghosted past my ear and sent shivers down my spine. The blood in my body betrayed my attempted nonchalance by collecting in my dick and if I moved I was afraid I would grind back against him rather than deny him. But did I really want to refuse his advances anymore? We both wanted each other and I already prepared myself for at least a taste of what it would be like. And someone like Wesker, the perfect man that was talented at everything he did- not to mention his inhuman speed and power… there wasn’t a doubt in my mind of how incredible he would make me feel. 

“Relax.” the blond whispered soothingly in my ear and his sultry tone went straight to my cock and messed up my mind. His hands moved over my arms to grab both of mine and intertwined our fingers. He moved, pushing me forward with his crotch against my ass until my hips were nearly pressed to the counter. Wesker held both of my hands with one of his, the other trailing back up my arm and over my shoulder as he stood straight with his hips still holding me in place. His adjustment let me feel him more and oh god was he hard. Oh fuck- was this really happening right now? 

“T-the cameras.” I managed to get out between heavy breaths as his fingers traced my spine, slowly moving down over each vertebra. I wasn’t comfortable with being recorded having sex with Albert Wesker of all people for possibly everyone in the BSAA to see. Luckily he wasn’t okay with it either… or so I thought. 

“I don’t care about that if it means I get to have you.” he told me, his words full of promise and I actually moaned before biting down hard on my already split lip. His fingers stopped just past the hem off my shirt but instead of slipping under to touch my skin like I was expecting, his hand gripped at my hip to pull me back against him and I moaned again at his pressure that throbbed in desire for me. I did that to him. He really wanted me- Wesker wanted me . He rolled his hips against me again and I heard him make a sound that was somewhere between a sigh and a growl, it was low and husky and oh so attractive. I rested my head against our joined hands, allowing him to keep mine trapped. 

Without knowing what I was really doing, I ran my tongue over the surface of Wesker’s hand before biting hard into the soft spot between his thumb and forefinger. My intention wasn’t to get him off of me and even if it was, that’s not the reaction it caused. The moment my teeth came away from his skin the hand I had just bitten into wrapped around my throat and pulled me up to stand, my back harshly colliding with Wesker’s chest not that it swayed him. He was breathing hard now too but I didn’t get a chance to hear much of it before he sunk his teeth into the small space of my neck left between his fingers and my shirt. I shouted in shock over the sudden motions and the bite. Even in his sudden burst of need he was careful not to break the skin but it still hurt. I squeezed my eyes shut against the pain but it… it felt so good my cock twitched from the tightening confines of my pants. Wesker’s other hand moved away from my hip to pull at the collar of my shirt, allowing him more access to my neck and shoulder without having to remove the hand that strangled me. He held my throat with just enough pressure to make breathing a labored chore without actually being uncomfortable. 

He nipped and sucked on my skin so sensually I was sure my nervous system would collapse. I was beginning to get light headed and I wasn’t sure if it was from Wesker choking me or if he was just giving me so much pleasure that my mind swam in it. And to think this was only foreplay. I thought about what came next… and while I was still getting used to wanting another man’s dick inside of me, in that moment my entire body burned with the desire and need for it- for him. 

But then a loud ringing caught my attention accompanied by a strong vibration on my thigh that only added to the stimulation in my now hyper sensitive systems. I never thought a phone call would make me moan in pleasure but here I was, exhaling heavily and leaning forward as my abs tensed against the coil of heat in my abdomen. Wesker growled at the sound and bit hard into my neck when I moved a hand to my pocket as he stopped choking me to snatch my wrist again. His lips trailed higher to the newly exposed skin as his other hand wrapped around my front possessively, his fingers just barely dipping under the waistline of my pants. I yelped as he jerked me upward again, feeling his impressive bulge press into me more and I groaned in need. I wanted to see it, wanted to touch it, wanted to taste it, wanted to feel it. 

“My phone- the vibration…” I muttered, not really sure what I was trying to tell him. Was I trying to get him to let me go so I could stop my phone or simply telling him that it was doing something to me? Either way, he released my wrist to slip his hand into my pocket but rather than withdraw my phone, he shifted it inside of my pocket so that the device was pressed to the inside of my thigh. A cry of pleasure ruptured from my throat when it went off again, the vibrations sending jolts of electricity through my body only to then collect painfully in my cock. I leaned forward again with my hands on the counter to steady myself, Wesker allowed it this time though his body followed mine to keep the contact. 

“So you like that, eh Chris?” he sounded so interested and heated, the words almost forming a purr as they rolled off his lips. “Did I find a sweet spot?” he was teasing now, his voice ghosting cooly over the moist skin of my neck before he started sucking to form yet another hickey. He really enjoyed marking me and that was fine, I enjoyed it just as much. In fact I wanted to leave my own mark on his body as well. My phone stopped ringing so my tensed muscles relaxed and my head cleared a little without the vibrations to help overstimulate me. 

“Let me see who it was.” I muttered as he still nipped at my neck. He hummed around my skin, only slightly pulling back so his voice could be heard without a muffle. 

“It doesn’t matter.” he told me before his tongue snaked up to my ear, following the shell of it before biting my earlobe. 

“It… might be important.” he hummed again and I could feel the vibration of it in my jaw. 

“More important than me?” he kissed along my jawline now closer to my chin. 

“Wesker.” the sound that came out of me was a mix of a moan and a whine and I didn’t like it though it made the blond man chuckle. 

“Alright.” he said with a smile as he kissed my cheek before he rested his chin on my abused shoulder in a relaxed manner. He pulled his hand out of my pocket, bringing my phone with it to hold up in front of both of us. I watched as he unlocked it because of course he knew my password, probably saw me enter it enough because I wasn’t cautious about him seeing. He easily navigated to my call log and just as I saw Jill’s name at the top, she called again. I was in the middle of a deep breath to try to calm down so Jill couldn’t hear how badly Wesker had messed me up, although she had probably seen the whole thing. Wesker quickly swiped to answer the call then set it to speaker and placed it in my hand. I was about to, very awkwardly, say hello when my best friend’s voice came over the speaker. 

“Okay first of all, this is extremely awkward and I never want to see it again.” if she said any of this in any other context, I would have laughed. But considering that she was talking about having to watch me get hot and heavy with our enemy… I felt like my entire head would explode with how much heat was pouring from my face. I covered my face with my hands though Wesker did chuckle. 

“As much of a delight it is to hear from you Jill, could this possibly wait a few hours?” he asked with need still laced in his voice. The implication of how long he wanted to draw this out made me inhale sharply and hold my breath to suppress a long exhale of desire. Doing this and much more for hours… I would surely die from a system overload but it would be entirely worth it. Definitely the best way I’ve imagined Wesker killing me that’s for sure. 

“No it can’t.” Jill shot back harshly now. “I was just going to look the other way for a while but you choking Chris made me really nervous.” 

“Duly noted. Is that all?” Wesker was trying to get her to hang up so we could continue without me complaining about it if he were to hang up on her like I have no doubt he wanted to. 

“Look Chris, I know what I said about this not stirring up trouble and doing what you want but I didn’t think you’d really do this on camera.” the woman was pleading with me now like it was something I was going to argue. 

“I tried to tell him…” my voice was small and muffled in my hands and the excuse was pathetic even to my own ears. 

“Yeah I can see you’re really trying.” she said sarcastically. I groaned in complaint over my situation. I didn’t have just one person picking on me- or even two people separately, no, the two had joined forces to team up against me. Their mission was to embarrass me as much as possible. This was only further proven when Wesker chuckled at my friend’s taunt and agreed with her playfully. There was a part of me, buried far under the embarrassment, that was enjoying their playful cooperative banter even if it was at my expense. 

“I just came out here for coffee and he- Wesker!” I yelled in panic when the hand that stayed on my abdomen during all this suddenly thrust into my pants. He didn’t go straight for my dick which had gone limp from the mood killing conversation, instead his fingers wrapped to the inside of my thigh before raking his nails all the way around nearly to my butt. My body had untensed and my guard was down but the lingering sensitivity was still there so the sudden flash of pain and pleasure mix forced a severe reaction from me. All at once my back arched which caused my hips to grind back into Wesker’s still hardened cock and a loud moan was hurled from my throat. I slammed my hand over my mouth so only part of my surprised scream was fully audible to Jill but it was enough that a new wave of humiliation rolled over me. I remained stock still like if I didn’t move no one could see me and I could escape from this situation. 

“God! Really Wesker?” Jill exclaimed in disbelief. 

“My church is not accepting new worshipers.” Wesker laughed maniacally as he removed himself from me, adjusting himself in his pants before leaning his back against the counter next to me. Jill groaned in disapproval but I tried not to listen anymore. I didn’t move or breathe- I was trying really hard to will myself into nonexistence. My legs were trembling the slightest bit and pain had taken over my thigh since the pleasure had only been temporary but I steadied my breathing and refused to look up to meet the inhuman eyes I felt staring at me. He knew I was done so he did that as, what, revenge for stopping or was he just messing with both of us? Probably all the above. “We’ll take our sexual activities to his bedroom next time if that makes you feel any better.” the blond stated, still smirking with satisfaction. 

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea either, you might kill him without supervision.” my best friend grumbled. 

“At least it’d be a happy death.” I added to myself under my breath… at least I thought I did but Jill’s sudden silence and the highly amused smirk Wesker directed at me had me doubting. 

“Maybe we should be worried about Wesker brainwashing you because he’s clearly gotten to your head.” Jill stated hesitantly and I groaned in protest, standing straight and smoothing my hand over my sore neck. 

“My head is perfectly unbrainwashed, thanks.” it wasn’t a lie, he hadn’t brainwashed me and he wouldn’t be able to even if he tried. But I would be lying if I didn’t admit my feelings for him might make me hesitate if it came to actually having to kill him. 

“Other head Chris.” my best friend said with a sassy edge and I was confused. Only when Wesker actually laughed did I realize the teasing tone she used and what she was implying. I blushed fiercely and stammered for something to say but no intelligible words would come out of my mouth. I knew it… they were teaming up to burn me from the inside out. 

“Oh geez look at the time, I should be getting to bed.” the words rushed from my mouth even though it was still early for bed. Honestly I just wanted to be safely in my room where I could be alone with not even cameras to bother me. Jill started to say something but I turned on my phone’s screen to display the call. “Byyyeee!” I dragged out over her voice before ending the call. I sighed and slouched as if the conversation had been physically exerting and the burden was now gone. Giving me a minute to myself, the blond took it upon himself to make my coffee for me. 

“Are you really going to bed already?” he asked as he handed me the white mug and I muttered a quick ‘thank you’. I looked up at him before my eyes shifted down to his crotch, part of me thinking he might still be hard and want to pick up where we were interrupted. I wasn’t sure whether or not that’s what I wanted but it didn’t matter anyway, his erection was gone. He chuckled when he saw where my gaze admittedly lingered. “Am I going to bed with you?” his sultry tone had returned to his voice, all smooth and full of suggestion. I blushed and averted my gaze as I inched away from him and out of the kitchen. 

“No.” 

“Dinner?” he asked with an amused smirk at my retreat. 

“No.” I shook my head, still slowly making my way to my room. I had lost my appetite between the sexual tension and both forms of teasing that bordered on bullying. 

“Letter?” he called as I reached my door and opened it only to stop with a groan. 

“Yes.” I waited for him to go get it from his own room and bring it to me. He held it out to me only to move it away when I reached for it. I gave him an annoyed look but his expression only held expectancy. Somehow knowing what he wanted, I tilted my head up to kiss his lips. It was chaste and quick and I guess it wasn’t enough for the superhuman because when I reached for the single sheet of paper again he held it over his head. He was only three inches taller than me but it was enough that I would have to stretch to get it. I wasn’t about to give him that satisfaction and it’s not like I disliked kissing him- just the opposite. So I held my coffee to the side with one hand while the other grabbed the back of his neck to pull him down to meet my lips. This kiss was deeper though it didn't involve tongues, passionate even though he didn’t touch me, soft but still set butterflies free in my stomach. His arm had lowered during the kiss and he didn’t move tonight’s letter away this time when I grabbed for it once we parted. I looked down at ‘Alex’ as I prepared to leave now but his voice stopped me. 

“Good night pet.” he whispered to me and I just stared back at him. A pet name? For me? Did… did I call him something back? What though? I didn’t have anything prepared and nothing came right to mind aside from the generic but that seemed too impersonal for the two of us. I wasn’t sure how much I liked ‘pet’ because it implied I was beneath him but considering he was an evil madman with a god complex, I guessed being considered his beloved pet wasn’t all that bad. Then I recalled the ‘Pet’ letter he had given me about a week ago and tried not to blush at the reminder of what accompanied the letter that ended up being the reason I didn’t really get to process that one. He’d been secretly thinking of me so fondly for all this time and according to what he said to Claire, he only recently discovered why. I didn’t exactly understand what his reason was… but I knew mine. 

“Good night captain.” I replied with more confidence than I felt. It wasn’t a pet name, it was a title- one that he didn’t deserve anymore and one that I used to address others within the BSAA and other such ranked organizations. But still… it meant something to me. In the Air Force I had commanding officers and team leaders and I currently operated as either a lone agent or a pair in the BSAA so he’s the only captain I’ve ever had. Though I would never admit it to anyone else, when I imagined the embodiment of a captain, how they looked or behaved… I still pictured the Wesker I knew back in STARS. And I was getting to know him again during the past two weeks since he was standing before me. 

Wesker’s orange eyes widened in surprise as he seemed to reanalyze me and all I could do was smile sincerely. I wasn’t sure what he was thinking I meant by that but I meant it. I turned to step into my room but his hand on my shoulder spun me back to him so his lips could crash into mine almost desperately. I kissed him back, hoping to answer whatever he was seeking from me right now. The gentle look in his eyes when he parted from me told me that regardless if he knew what calling him that meant to me, it meant something to him too even if it wasn’t the same meaning. I couldn’t take my eyes off of his… I could almost see a dull glow within the orange but there was too much light around us to really tell. 

He was always the one to comfort me and I wanted to do that for him this time. I held onto the paper between my fingers and the coffee mug so my now freed hand could caress his face. I leaned upward to kiss his forehead and give him a soft loving grin. 

“Go to bed.” I said gently and he nodded though we both stood there for another minute until I stepped fully into my bedroom and slowly shut the door between us. When I heard him walk away, I exhaled heavily and tried to calm my racing heart. Something changed. 

~~~ 

Alex 

She sought me out after I killed Spencer. She had been keeping tabs on me for some time and decided to reach out. It didn’t shock me in the slightest that the old man’s last words to me were lies. He told me I was the only survivor of Project W but Alex Wesker was the other. Granted, the virus didn’t kill her but it didn’t do her any favors either, she developed an incurable illness though I’m admittedly unsure if it was brought on by the virus or if it had come on earlier in her life. I’ve learned it’s not something she likes to discuss, rather she prefers to talk about her future away from it. I would be lying if I claimed to know much about her, we’ve only met twice now while I could spare the time between working through Jill’s recovery. However she claims to view me as a brother as she’s followed along with my life since being brought onto the eugenics project while I was still in the Army. I must say it unnerves me to think she knows so much about me while I have no information about who she is. However she genuinely seems to think us equals and has developed some kind of emotional attachment to me. She’s ambitious if not driven by her need to escape her inevitable death in her weakened body. I believe if she were to be near my equal in anything, it would be by her intelligence and her ability to manipulate people and situations to better fit her own goals. I’ll play along because she’s a dangerous woman and perhaps a very useful ally. 

Chris I really had to contemplate telling you about Alex because I know your first instinct will be to alert your organization. However I’ve decided to share this information because much like you believe it wrong to trust me, I’m not pleased with the fact that I’ve come to fully trust you as well.  However I ask that you not share it with anyone else at least for the time being. I’ve never had any family and I admittedly want to see where this goes for now. So regardless of what you do with this knowledge, I entrust it to you. 

Chapter Text

“So.” I started when my fellow prisoner joined me at the table. I didn’t bother Wesker when I first got up since the man seemed to be brooding over something so I made myself some breakfast and waited instead. “You have a sister.” the blond grimaced at the word. “I get that there’s no genetic relation but I mean you’re both Wesker children, not to mention the only survivors of the project.” 

“Yes well, as I stated in my letter we haven’t had much contact.” 

“And you want to see where it goes.” Wesker nodded in confirmation. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? I mean who knows what she wants from you.” the blond seemed to contemplate this. “I mean if she really wanted to get to know you, why wait until after Spencer was dead?” 

“She was still using Umbrella resources, draining as much as she could from Spencer for her own goals-” 

“That’s another thing.” I cut him off sharply, the look of the hardened BSAA agent on my stern face. “What is she up to? It was bad enough when we just had one Wesker running around- now we have two.” sure she apparently wasn’t a superhuman like my Wesker but that didn’t make her research or plans any less dangerous. At least she was dying… actually I felt a little guilty wishing death on someone I knew nothing about. As far as I was aware, she hadn’t done anything wrong yet and I wasn’t even sure she was planning on it. I was just making those assumptions based on her upbringing and life with Umbrella and the fact that she was a Wesker. But I felt safe in my assumptions about her for two very good reasons. Albert Wesker described her as dangerous and at least near his equal in intelligence and cunning. She was not a woman to be underestimated or thought to be innocent until proven guilty. 

“All the more reason for me to continue contact to figure that out.” he wasn’t irritated with my interruptions, in fact he barely seemed to notice me anymore. He was leaned back in his seat, arms folded across his chest and his eyes fixed on one spot on the table. He was thinking pretty hard about this, no doubt going over all the different possible outcomes to this to try to find the most beneficial route. The only benefit I saw to it was that he could probably figure out what she was up to and turn her in but I couldn’t hope that he would actually do that. And he wanted me not to report this? The only reason I hadn’t already was because I decided I would at least hear him out first since he actually trusted me with this… even if that put me in a tight spot. 

“What if she wants you to help her with whatever she’s working on?” 

“That’s entirely likely.” was all he offered so I groaned in irritation. I guess I was lucky he was still bothering to even talk to me right now since he would usually be silent in his planning… did that mean he wanted my help planning what he should do about this? That… wow, I didn’t even know what to think about that. I mean I was happy that he wanted to involve me in his life like this but again, this information put me in a really awkward position. I wanted to keep his trust but I couldn’t not report this. What do I do? 

“Would you do it?” he didn’t answer for some time but I didn’t press, understanding that he most likely wasn’t ignoring me but probably still thinking it over. 

“Perhaps.” he finally stated and my eyes narrowed at him though he never looked away from that spot on the table… he was staring so intently it was starting to get a little creepy. “I am about to burn every other bridge I have.” then his calculating orange eyes turned to me, studying and evaluating. 

“Stop that.” I snapped and surprisingly his gaze did turn away from me. “You were the one that decided to talk about this now.” I reminded him as my arms folded over my chest protectively. I fucking hated when he did that- it was like he was dissecting me and it made me very uncomfortable. 

“That decision may have been premature.” he sighed, almost disappointed and it made me feel a little subconscious. I always did hate when he was disappointed in me but I did nothing wrong. If he started a conversation he wasn’t ready to have that was entirely on him. 

“I thought you said you trusted me-” 

“I do.” his words were quick, his eyes suddenly locked to mine. “I don’t hesitate because I don’t trust this information with you. I hesitate because I know you’re still loyal to the BSAA and I understand the position I’ve put you in.” 

“I thought it was on purpose.” I countered and he sighed, taking to looking at the table again. 

“Only partially.” he admitted though didn’t lay out his intentions with the test though I could guess. “I do wish to simply talk about this with you but there are other aspects I must take into consideration.” 

“Like whether I’ll reveal Alex’s existence to the rest of the BSAA.” I stated but he didn’t acknowledge the comment which told me it wasn’t quite right. It would be nice if he would correct me and let me know what he was thinking instead of making me guess. But that would never happen. He was already aware of the risk of me telling that there was another Wesker before he gave me the letter since he had included that while he didn’t want me to tell, he understood that I might. So that wasn’t the hold up but it was definitely on the right track and it had to be something that would directly affect himself. “You’re burning all the bridges you have with anyone else so you’re planning to turn to her. You have a hidden place to retreat to and she has help with whatever she’s working on, it’s a win-win situation.” he was narrowing his eyes at me with an accusatory edge now but I ignored it. He must underestimate how well I know him, he gave me enough to figure out what was stopping him. It had nothing to do with Alex and everything to do with the fact that should he escape and disappear again, I would know exactly where to start the search for him. We stared each other down for a short time, him upset with my correct reasoning and me refusing to just drop the subject. Then he sighed and looked away from me again. I watched him and waited for him to retaliate in some way but he didn’t. “We don’t have to talk about all of it, I just want to know more about Alex and what she’s doing right now. I can’t just drop it, this is some pretty serious stuff Wesker.” I reminded him but he didn’t acknowledge me. Geez him throwing a fit wasn’t cute at all. “If you don’t want me to talk then give me a reason not to.” 

“Me simply asking isn’t enough?” he seemed bitter and I rolled my eyes. Him asking for anything was a big deal and I knew that but this was even bigger than that. I would tell the BSAA eventually without a doubt but I needed a reason not to tell them right now. 

“Not for this.” I told him and he looked me over again in that way I hated but I allowed it this time so he could hurry and make up his mind. I was just glad he wasn’t stonewalling me anymore. I know he can express not even body language when he didn’t want to so the fact his guard was still down enough around me that I was getting that was appreciated. 

“She’s entirely focused on extending her own life.” he finally stated, his eyes softening from their critical glance. “She wants to escape her weakening body before it withers.” 

“And that means…?” 

“She’s not doing anything harmful to others, at least not as far as I’m aware.” he explained and I nodded, content with that for now. Like I said, I would explain all of this to the rest of the BSAA eventually but if she wasn’t planning anything nefarious then I’d give Wesker a little more time. 

“So… the virus might have given her an incurable illness while you got superpowers.” I shifted the focus of the conversation away from whatever plans he may have that he wasn’t willing to talk about yet. 

“It’s unclear if it was due to the virus or not but really she should just be grateful to still be alive. She knew the risks and injected it anyway.” he snarled a little as he said that last part. 

“Didn’t you willingly take the virus too?” 

“William gave it to me, claiming it to be of his own creation specifically engineered to my genetics. His whole pitch was rather clever and I trusted his research so I didn’t question it nearly as much as I should have.” he explained. “Alex was in charge of making sure all thirteen candidates received the virus so I hold her partially responsible for William lying to me about it. Not that I ever trusted him completely but I was still furious to discover he had betrayed me and aided Spencer in manipulating me. Had I known it was something Spencer’s people concocted I never would have taken it, not without first analyzing and testing it myself.” 

“Then you may never have gotten your superpowers.” I joked, trying to bring back the lighter tone this entire day had so far lacked but it only seemed to irritate the man further. I hadn’t realized I’d been neglecting my food this whole time so I took another bite. 

“I never needed these abilities to get ahead in life, everything I’ve done could have been achieved as a human.” he stated boldly and I snickered with a shake of my head. 

“You would’ve been dead a few times over.” Wesker raised a skeptical eyebrow at that. “Like that time I dropped a bunch of steel beams on you.” I stated smugly and he rolled his eyes. 

“That entire fight would have gone much differently had I needed to take human limitations into account. Besides I admit to most of that time being me showing off my new power since you had yet to witness it.” there was the playful smirk I wanted. I smiled at him with a small shrug of one shoulder. 

“Yeah and you wonder why I bulked up like I did.” 

“I thought you said it wasn’t for me?” 

“Maybe it was a little.” I winked at him and his smirk broadened as he hummed to that. But I was still eating so neither of us pursued anything from it. “But you would have been dead even before then because of your death at the hands of ‘the ultimate lifeform’.” I teased with a mocking tone and chuckled at the hardened look he gave me. Even after all these years he was still salty about how I laughed at his favorite science project, more like his abomination creation. 

“Tyrant did end in failure, I accept that, there’s no need to rub it in.” he almost pouted which made me laugh around the food in my mouth, nearly causing me to choke. He was glaring at me with reddened eyes but in the context it wasn’t at all threatening since he was just throwing a fit, this one much cuter than the silent treatment from before. 

“Okay, okay, I’ll drop it. It was very scary at the time.” I soothed him so he removed his glare from me. 

“You’re only saying that.” he finally unfolded his arms and leaned forward to rest his forearms onto the table, his hands clasped. This was a much more relaxed position for him and I was glad for it. “Knowing you, you probably continued to insult it even to its face and somehow managed to survive it with little trouble as you irritatingly do so often.” 

“Yeah… yeah I did actually.” I nodded as I remembered how I screamed at it for killing Wesker, hurling vulgarities at it and I’m pretty sure I called it a test tube freak at some point. “I wouldn’t say it was an easy battle but it did have an obvious weak point.” he only sighed and I knew he was probably thinking about how he could have made it different. As the pause in conversation stretched, I couldn’t help but relive witnessing the death of my captain and I suddenly lost interest in the rest of my breakfast. “Maybe I am just saying that though…” I muttered as I poked at the little remaining food in front of me. Wesker looked at me with interest though there was still annoyance at the declaration. “I don’t think I was ever actually afraid of Tyrant, I just remember being so pissed off.” 

“Because I created it?” the blond questioned when I didn’t continue but I shook my head. 

“Because it killed you.” now his expression held only interest for more information. “I… I think the scariest thing about that night was watching you die but after that I was so full of rage for the fucking abomination there was no room left for fear.” Wesker’s gaze was on his hands and I could see the thoughts whizzing through him. I don’t know what he was working through but his mind was preoccupied so I tried to give him a minute but there was another question I needed to have answered. “What… was it like to die?” finally he sighed and returned his attention to me. He opened his mouth to answer but stopped himself and went back to thinking. Knowing him, I could put together that he had a readied or dismissive response but decided he wasn’t going to give me that bullshit. Though also knowing him, that didn’t mean I was going to get the truth. 

“I would never think to share this with anyone but you Chris.” Wesker stated and my eyes widened as my body shifted to fully face him in my chair like a kid getting a surprise present. He was going to tell me the truth and from his hesitance I knew it was something he didn’t like to admit even to himself. This was Christmas. “It was frightening.” he stated slowly as if battling the words from his mouth. Now this wouldn’t usually be a big revelation, everyone was afraid of death in some way but… I guess it was really surprising to hear that even the indestructible Albert Wesker was afraid of dying. “I will never forget the cold, dark fingers of death reaching out for me. I could do nothing, the helplessness I felt was overwhelming. The virus I injected just beforehand brought me back from the brink of annihilation as planned, however, I always fret the day those fingers manage to capture me.” he explained and I nodded idly as terrible images came to my mind. Wesker laying bloodied and lifeless on the cold concrete… that giant hole in his torso. I’ll never forget the fear I felt that day as I checked his pulse and pretended I wasn’t crying over a traitor. Then it hit me and my heart dropped like a hundred ton weight. 

“As… planned?” my voice wavered as it forced its way from my throat. “You dying… was planned?” my voice was stronger now, a harsh demand. 

“Of course, that death was a necessary component of the big picture.” he stated and my eyes widened with hurt and anger in equal measure. “Did you really believe I would awaken such a dangerous creature then stand directly in front of it without ensuring it was fully tested and obedient?” 

“I… I didn’t know what to think.” he… all this time and he knew. “All I knew was that you were dead!” I raised my voice as anger overtook the grief I felt. I stood, abandoning my food so I could pace to try to vent some of the rage boiling my blood. Wesker raised a brow at my actions. “Don’t fucking look at me like that! You know what you did!” I yelled at him as I continued pacing, my hands involuntarily balling into fists. 

“Afraid not.” he stood to be on level with me, folding his arms as he studied me. “Why are you so upset?” I froze at his words. He really didn’t know. Unbelievable. 

“Why?” I repeated as I stepped closer to him. “I watched you die!” 

“Yes, someone had to witness it so it would be reported and unquestioned.” he stated so calmly like it was such a simple matter. He acted like it didn’t shake me to my very core. I punched him as hard as I could, sure I wasn’t going to land it but I did. For whatever reason, Wesker stood there and let me hit him. I was strong enough that the hit made him stumble back even if just barely. That was the whole reason I bulked up the way I did, I wanted to be sure that if I got a hit in- it would count. 

“You planned for me to watch you die!” I hit him again and he let me. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew my phone was ringing but I didn’t have the mental capacity to care. “Do you have any idea what that did to me?” I yelled as I shoved him backward and he fell back onto the couch. I sat on top of him, my knees on either side of his body. “You selfish bastard! After everything you’ve done- this is the worst! I fucking hate you!” I screamed at him, each sentence driven home with another punch to his face and he made no move to stop me though I knew it must hurt. The anger was subsiding now and the pain was coming to the forefront of my mind. I felt tears prickling in my eyes and didn’t care if he saw them. All the energy suddenly seemed drained from my body and I was already panting but now it felt like there was no air around me. I raised my bruised fist again but didn’t hit him as the first tear slid down my cheek. My hand slowly lowered to lay over his chest, feeling the faint heartbeat that resided within. My hand moved a little further down to his abdomen where I so vividly recalled a gaping hole. “I mourned for you.” my voice was but a whisper as I stared at my hand over his body. Quick flashes of slick blood covering each digit as I tried to hold the wound shut as if I could somehow fix it. But it was too large- bigger than my hands and it went all the way through him. I could see torn muscles and bits of his spine- I could nearly make out the fucking ground under him! And I desperately tried to fix it. I screamed and cried and begged for him not to go… because at that moment it didn’t matter that he was a traitor or that he worked for Umbrella or that he set us up or that he had personally killed my friends. All that mattered was that I understood what my feelings for him truly were and he was dead. 

“I truly don’t understand Chris.” he spoke softly as he continued to study me, one hand raising to wipe away the tear so he could examine it like it was a foreign substance. “You watched many of your colleagues die that day, what difference did my death make?” he really didn’t know? I wasn’t sure how I was going to answer or if I was even going to but I couldn’t. I heard the locks on the front door disengaging and climbed off of Wesker, stepping around the couch to meet whoever was coming in. I should have expected this but was still surprised that it was a full team geared up and ready for a fight. Jill was on point with her gun already raised and aimed at Wesker who was now standing and facing everyone with me. I was expecting him to give his signature smirk but he didn’t, he seemed lost in his head- confused and possibly even regretful. 

“It’s alright, it was me.” I told everyone with my hands lifted in a pacifying manner. “He didn’t do anything, I just got mad.” 

“I antagonized him.” Wesker corrected as he wiped away blood from the corner of his mouth and nose. I wanted to look back at him and give him a look to ask what he was doing but I couldn’t bring myself to face him… it hurt too much right now. 

“Chris?” Jill asked, turning her glare from Wesker to look at me with concern. 

“He’s being an asshole but I can handle it. It was just a fight.” I reassured her and she finally lowered her weapon, motioning for the others to do the same. All guns were lowered only to be raised again when Wesker walked around the couch to stand by my side. 

“Your team needs to drill the basics again.” Wesker said as he pointed behind the team though he lacked his usual cynicism. Jill gave him an annoyed look before turning around to see what was wrong. We both noticed it at the same time, the door was left open. Wesker could have escaped. I sighed and shook my head as Jill glared in accusation at the last agent in who shrank back a little. The blonde woman dismissed everyone and as they filed out, she stepped up to Wesker. 

“The next time I have to come down here because you did something to Chris, it’ll be to put a bullet in your head.” she growled in warning to him though he showed no reaction to it which made Jill back up a bit in surprise. Normally when issued a threat the man would have a quip to it, a comeback, a returned challenge, or at least a venomous smirk. But he didn’t offer any of those. Instead he glanced in my direction before looking away, still seeming lost in thought. 

“Duly noted.” was all he said to acknowledge Jill. She sighed, not knowing what was going on, and grabbed my hand. 

“Are you okay?” she asked, concern filling her voice when she took notice of the red around my eyes. I only nodded, still refusing to look Wesker’s way. “Answer your phone next time.” she squeezed my hand before letting go so she could leave. “Call me if you need anything.” I didn’t answer, just watched as the heavy door closed and listened to the locks click and beep into position. After a moment of silence, I saw Wesker turn from my peripheral vision. 

“Chris-” I didn’t let him finish, instead I turned away and went to my room, slamming the door behind me. 

… … … 

A few hours later, Wesker knocked on my door. I ignored him at first but he knocked again. 

“I only want to talk.” he called through the door and I sighed deeply. I really didn’t want to get out of bed. Not that I was tired or even all that comfortable, I just felt like I didn’t have any energy to move with. “Chris?” Wesker called again so I forced myself out of bed. I hit the camera button before walking over to open my door a crack in order to peer out at the blond with tired eyes. He carried two mugs filled with fresh coffee. “Do you feel up to a conversation?” he asked as he gestured behind him to the couch with his head. I sighed and opened the door wider before turning around and heading back to bed. 

“Come in.” I mumbled before crawling under my blanket though I sat up against my headboard. Wesker entered without hesitation, handing me my cup when I held a hand out for it. Then he pushed my armchair closer to my bed to sit in. He learned how I took my coffee now but for some reason he decided to make this cup the same way I liked it back in STARS. I appreciated the comfort as I sipped it, still too hot to actually drink but I almost didn’t care. 

“I apologize about before. I didn’t know my admittance to my plan would anger you like that.” Wesker stated and sounded pretty sincere about it but I was too emotionally exhausted to be shocked so I just shrugged and stared into the light brown liquid in my mug. “I’ve been going over it but I genuinely can’t comprehend the reason.” I sighed again, deeper this time. 

“I tried to save you, you know.” I started which seemed to confuse Wesker, probably because he understood what a lost cause his corpse had been. “I cried over your body because I didn’t want you to die.” 

“I’m sure you didn’t want anyone to die. I can understand how you could be distraught over my death as the discovery of my betrayal was new so the feelings of comradery would still allow you to mourn for me. But you had everyone else to help you get through it, especially after learning I was still alive.” I shook my head even as he was speaking. 

“Everyone else thought you had it coming and it was better that way. I mourned for you on my own in secret.” as I explained that, Wesker left his coffee on my dresser and got up to sit on the edge of my bed. I didn’t care, I still watched my coffee. “It was terrible, seeing all my colleagues and friends dead or dying. There are still times I have nightmares about all the death and carnage I’ve witnessed since then but watching you die…” I shook my head again. “it shattered me for years, I don’t think I ever really got over it until I saw you on Rockford- hell I’m not sure I’m over it even now.” my voice had raised a little as my previously drained emotions started to resurface. 

“Whether it still haunts you or not, you learned to cope with it.” Wesker pointed out. “I have no illusions that you were anything but furious over what I did that night and everything after but you obviously long since accepted it. You only became hostile when it was revealed that my own death was a part of my plan.” 

“Exactly Wesker.” I snapped, finally looking away from my coffee to glare at him. “Because your death crushed me and I was all alone in missing you and I just found out you put me through all of it on purpose!” my breathing was heavy and I again felt like I couldn’t get enough air. Wesker was silent as he considered my words. 

“It was also planned for the others to die yet you-” 

“I wasn’t in love with them- I was in love with you!” I yelled at him and watched his eyes go wide with shock and realization. I panted and fought back tears as we stared at each other. “And you intentionally forced me to watch you die.” I spoke quieter now but I didn’t look away even when he did. Silence fell around us as the blond took this in. 

“I’m deeply sorry.” Wesker finally said, looking back at me. “I honestly didn’t know you felt that way for me nor what choosing you to witness my death would do to you. I simply thought you would put it aside like the others had because I betrayed you.” 

“How could you not know? You always know everything.” I asked in frustration. I’d been so terrified back in STARS that he knew my feelings and would be repulsed by me- maybe even fire me. 

“I knew you were attracted to me back in STARS but I took it as nothing more than sexual desire or perhaps a crush of admiration. All traces of that vanished during our following encounters as I knew it would because I didn’t think whatever you felt for me would survive the betrayal.” he explained and I pursed my lips. So he was at least somewhat aware back then. I couldn’t argue his line of thought either because it was reasonable and on point. 

“I didn’t think it would either…” I whispered before sighing deeply. “After everything you’ve done I do hate you even now but…” I shrugged one shoulder, staring into my coffee again. “I don’t know.” I was going to say that maybe the saying ‘love is blind’ had more truth to it than I ever gave it credit for but I didn’t want to admit that to him. I said it once, that was enough. “If you had known, would you’ve still done it?” it seemed a moot point now but I needed to know. Wesker sighed, not seeming to need to think about it to know his answer. 

“Back then, yes, it wouldn’t have changed anything.” he told me and I nodded sadly though I already knew that would be the case. “But if I could change it now, I would.” I peeked up at him curiously. It didn’t change how things went but it at least meant something. “I understand you still care for me now but I didn’t know it ran so deeply.” his head titled closer to mine. “Tell me, do you still hold such strong feelings for me even now?” I didn’t want to answer, I knew he could use it against me but he seemed so serious and I didn’t have the energy to listen to my better judgment. 

“Yes.” I whispered and my eyes caught the way Wesker’s lips upturned into a small smile. After a moment longer of staring, he leaned impossibly closer to me. 

“Then our feelings are shared.” he whispered back to me and I felt his breath on my lips as he spoke before he closed the remaining space to kiss me. I closed my eyes and kissed him back. It was soft and innocent but it lingered and left a tingling sensation on my lips. He pulled back just enough that we were sharing breath. I hadn’t even noticed that I calmed down until my heart was racing once more. Did he really just say that? I mean I guess a part of me sort of knew that’s where our relationship was going because he wasn’t just after me sexually since he actually cared but… to imply he… holy shit. I lifted one hand to his cheek and tilted my head to reconnect our lips, this one just as soft but a little more passionate. I felt him tug my coffee cup out of my hand before he pulled away from me to put it with his so he could quickly return to me. He used one hand to grab the back of my neck to pull me in for another kiss while the other wrapped around my lower back to hold me close to his body. I wrapped my arms around his neck and inhaled his breath between chaste kisses. When he snaked his tongue across my lips, I pushed him back only enough to break the kiss while keeping him close. 

“I’m completely drained.” I told him as I shook my head slightly and after a moment he nodded. 

“I understand.” he moved away from me as if he was going to leave but I caught his hand before he got far. 

“Will you stay?” I would have blushed at the request but once again, I was too drained to care if I was being childish and he was here to see it. He stared at me for a moment before wrapping his fingers around my ankle over the blanket to pull me farther down the bed. I was about to protest when he let me go to move to the new space behind me. He now sat in my place against the headboard and urged me closer to him. 

“Sleep. We can talk about it more when you awaken.” I smiled back at him and laid down so my head was laying against his chest. He scooted down a bit so I was more comfortable and I felt his hand run through my hair to lull me to sleep. I don’t think I’d ever been more comfortable in my life and I fell asleep without fault. 

~~~ 

First Meet 

I watched the woman behind the desk with a considerate gaze as she went over a report, giving me time to process all she had told me. We’d discussed the details of Project W and her involvement with it over email and a few phone calls that spanned the previous week. She even sent me the few surviving reports she still owned- a few even concerning myself. I still wasn’t sure what to make of Alex Wesker. I didn’t trust anyone and I wasn’t about to consider her an ally until she proved useful to me though it seemed that was exactly what she was trying to do. She readily shared all information I requested, offered up plenty I hadn’t, and plainly stated her intentions. She wanted to get to know me as more than part of the abandoned project and maybe we could help each other though she claimed that wasn’t her goal in reaching out, just an option. I believed that at least, from what she showed me in her current works she seemed to have everything under control so it wasn’t like she needed the help. I, on the other hand, was struggling with something that she seemed to have more experience with. 

“I’ve been busy working on a modified version of the T virus for an interesting test subject.” I started, gaining her attention. “However I’m not sure my team is adequate in keeping her in a stable condition until the virus is ready.” I specialized in virology and chemistry based sciences, not medical practice. I had enough knowledge of medicine to be able to perform crude surgeries and save lives if I needed to, I had on several occasions but I was no medic. Saving lives wasn’t what I was good at, I took them. While Alex’s fields were similar to my own she knew more about biology and medicine than I did in her search to find a way to escape her health issues. She could do a better job of keeping Jill alive but I had hesitated to bring her in on something so personal. Ultimately I decided she already knew who Jill was thanks to her knowledge of my life so there really wouldn’t be much explaining to do. I could give her the same excuse for why I was keeping her alive that I gave to everyone else- or none at all, I didn’t owe an explanation to anyone. 

“Are you asking me to take over her care?” she asked and I analyzed her for a moment to make sure she wasn’t attempting to patronize me. She was pleased with herself and perhaps a bit smug but not in a menacing way so I allowed her tone to go without comment. 

“I am.” I confirmed as I unfolded my arms and stepped closer to her desk. “I’ll send over her file along with the coordinates for the base I have her in.” I told her, already withdrawing my phone from my pocket. “The security system will require your fingerprints, if you don’t mind.” I held my phone’s screen out for her to press her finger to so the system could scan and save it. I would give her enough clearance to access Jill but that was all for now. 

“Of course not Albert.” she stated with a practiced smile that looked rather nice on her lips. She offered her thumb and held it to my screen until it flashed green to signal that it had successfully saved her print. I never liked being called by my first name, I much preferred for others to use my surname as it signified my authority. However it also wasn’t something I cared enough about to argue those ballsy enough to address me so casually. That made her the second person still living to use my first name and I already preferred Alex over the other woman. Cooperation with Alex Wesker may prove very useful.

Chapter Text

I was comfortable and warm but lacking. I think my body knew on an instinctual level that there was something missing because despite having woken up on a pillow most of my life, I wasn’t expecting the softness it provided. I was confused by the expectation of something firm under my head but as my thoughts caught up with me… that’s how I went to sleep, wasn’t it? Laying on Wesker. So… where was he? I slowly sat up and scanned the room for him as if he would be there watching me sleep. I spotted him outside my open bedroom door, sitting on the couch with a book in hand. His orange eyes turned to me as if sensing my gaze and he offered something of a smile and I returned it despite the bit of hurt I felt over him not staying with me all night. He set his book down on the coffee table and stood, entering my room without permission or hesitance and I didn’t mind. 

“Good morning.” he greeted as he sat on the edge of my bed and I sighed as I laid back down. 

“You didn’t stay.” I pointed out rather than return the pleasantry. 

“I was kicked out a few hours ago when Jill’s shift ended.” he corrected, not seeming at all phased by the subtle accusation my tone held. I blinked at him in confusion which he smirked at in amusement. I rolled my eyes and pushed his arm away from me in retaliation but it just amused him more. He leaned closer to me and I unknowingly held my breath in anticipation but… he didn’t kiss me. He grabbed my phone from where it rested on my other pillow and straightened again. I blushed and tried to hide my disappointment but of course he wasn’t going to just let that go. “If you want something, you need simply ask.” the blond bastard teased and I glared at him through half lidded eyes. I wasn’t going to ask for a good morning kiss from him, I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. Rather than get defensive or deny that I wanted anything from him, since I did, I would just take it. I grabbed the front of his shirt and urged him closer to me. I saw his smug smirk falter in surprise but he obliged me by leaning down to kiss me. His lips were gentle, almost questioning on mine but I liked it. It reassured me that he was still just as unsure of where we stood as I was. 

After pulling out of the kiss, we stared at each other for a quiet minute as we contemplated each other. This wasn’t the situation I was trying to create, I wasn’t ready to talk about what happened last night- I just wanted a kiss. I hadn’t really had time to process everything for myself, I had been too exhausted both physically and mentally- let’s not even get started on emotionally. I really wasn’t used to this much emotional stimulation in my life, it was really taking its toll on me. I wish I could say I didn’t have to overthink such a… confession but this was Wesker- confessing to… feelings. I don’t think either of us would ever use the word but there was a sentiment here that was being danced around. It was a serious thing- not something to be taken lightly in any circumstance even in the normal world but definitely not in here and especially not between us. There was a lot to consider before acting on anything that happened last night. 

I saw the moment in his eyes when Wesker decided something but he never said anything… was he waiting on me to bring it up? That was nice but I really didn’t want to… not sure I could. I tore my gaze from him and he sighed, the kind of disappointed sigh I used to be familiar with. Back in STARS I used to think it was the worst thing in the world but now that I knew this man much better, I could detect the traces of fondness there. Like he thought I was an idiot but he couldn’t expect me or anyone to be on his level of comprehension and at least found it enduring. I wasn’t sure whether to be flattered or offended. 

Then he sat straight again as he handed my phone over to me so I took it, glad for the distraction. No sooner had I opened my main display, Wesker stood to leave my room and I felt myself slouch in disappointment before I realized that I was even feeling that way. Whatever though, he could do what he wanted. He said he was kicked out so I checked my call logs first but there wasn’t anything new there so I went to my messages instead to see a conversation with Jill I didn’t have so it must have been Wesker texting from my phone. 

Jill: Wesker
Jill: I know you can see the messages popping up
Jill: Answer me
Chris (W): Yes?
Jill: What are you playing at
Chris (W): Surely I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Jill: I might not know what was said but I know it was pretty damn important
Jill: Say something
Chris (W): I believe it was.
Jill: Well
Chris (W): I’m not going to tell you.
Jill: Of course not
Jill: There’s always something with you
Chris (W): I think there’s a phrase ‘don’t kiss and tell’ that can be applied here.
Jill: I saw the kiss so you don’t need to tell me about it I wanna know what was said
Chris (W): I’m still not telling you.
Jill: You hurt him again and I will not rest until you’re dead for real this time
Chris (W): Yes, yes. You’ll be down here to put a bullet in my head yourself. Message received.
Jill: Good now get out of Chris’s room my shift is ending
Chris (W): Why do I have to leave?
Jill: Look I’m not sure if Chris wants anyone seeing just how close you two have gotten
Jill: It’ll just be easier if there isn’t any immediate explaining to do if someone else sees you two right now
Chris (W): There are cameras everywhere, I’m sure everyone knows.
Jill: The live footage is monitored around the clock but no one goes through the recordings unless there’s cause and so far there isn’t
Jill: So no it hasn’t gotten around too much yet
Jill: And until Chris tells me that he’s fine with it being public knowledge I’m going to try my best to keep it as private as possible or as long as possible
Chris (W): You’re a good friend.
Chris (W): Although your logic is highly flawed.
Jill: Wow thanks
Chris (W): Regardless I will go. 

That was the end of their conversation and oddly enough it made me a bit happier to know that he didn’t willingly leave me, he even argued a little which showed maybe he didn’t want to. I stopped myself from smiling and my eyes flicked up to the camera in my room to see that the red light was on indicating that it was recording. Guess Jill’s effort to keep our rela- closeness… on the down low just went to waste. Did she not know that we’ve already made out and such while she wasn’t on camera? So even if it wasn’t completely out there, it was already more spread than she thought. I would have to let her know it was fine. It wasn’t like I was proud of being like this with my enemy and wanted it to be known but I also wasn’t ashamed of it or wanted it hidden. I couldn’t really say ‘it’s as simple as that’ because nothing is ever simple when it comes to Albert Wesker. Whatever was happening between us was happening now and I’d rather not do something than keep secrets. If I felt strong enough against it to want it hidden then I just wouldn’t let anything happen instead of hiding it. Putting it like that makes it seem like I know what’s happening and that couldn’t be farther from the truth. 

I rolled over to turn the camera off before getting out of bed to stretch my aching body. I had a headache probably from crying, still wasn’t used to doing much of that and I didn’t really like how much of it I’d done already since being in here. It was probably the headache that kept me from thinking about anything that happened or was said last night. I wasn’t sure if that was a relief or an irritant yet. Maybe a cold shower would help me wake up and sharpen my mind to at least a more aware state. It did and oddly enough one of my first cohesive thoughts had been in regards to the toy hidden under the sink… and what I had done with it… and what I wanted to do again. But I pushed those thoughts aside and quickly finished my shower. 

Not as helpful as I’d been hoping but I at least came to a sort of conclusion about what I was going to do about last night. Nothing. I acknowledged what was said and I was even really happy over it but I wasn’t willing to confront it or say anything like that again. I was confident Wesker would never actually say it nor would he want to go more into depth about what emotion he discovered in himself. I was content to have it known between us without expanding into it further. That didn’t mean I wouldn’t act on it, I had already decided I was going to be with him regardless of whatever might happen and this only made that decision sweeter. So I would say nothing had changed but of course it had- everything had. But they’d changed in an unspeakable yet comfortable way. I didn’t have to wonder anymore about a lot of the things I’d been overthinking because pieces fell into place. Sure there were other aspects I still wondered about but I didn’t feel like they were such a big deal anymore. 

Wesker had feelings for me that traced back to our STARS days just as I had feelings for him even back then too. The difference was he only realized it recently after discovering he couldn’t bring himself to kill me and I realized it after I watched him die then fought and denied my feelings. There was of course the possibility that he was just leading me on and lying about all this but I knew there was at least some truth to it, there was too much pointing to it even back in STARS that made sense now. There was just no way that even Albert Wesker was playing this kind of game for so long, especially since he had genuinely wanted me dead for so long and had expected me to be dead long ago. There was no way for him to know what would have become of us this far into the future to have planned this so long ago and set up a long term plan. And if this was a play it was an extremely stupid one since he lost so fucking much and gained only… me. I really had to genuinely mean something to him if that was the case and I saw no other motive. Everything he’s done lately has been about me or for me. So yes, I trusted what he said and for more reasons than I just wanted to. Even if this was a play, there was still truth in it. 

Wesker cared about me. 

… … … 

We were sitting on the couch watching some TV show, something edgy Jill recommended saying it was an old favorite. I used to be a TV kinda guy, always loved a good action movie and regularly had my TV on when I was at my apartment in Racoon City even if I wasn’t actually watching it. But then shit happened and I found I didn’t really like action movies anymore. Even after the Air Force and during STARS I liked the unrealistic nature of the shows where the good guys always won and the bad guys always got what they deserved and paperwork was never something they had to sit through. But after the mansion incident the optimist in me was killed and I couldn’t stand the careless nonchalance the actors portrayed the heroes with. Good guys suffer, good guys sacrifice themselves for the good of everyone else, good guys get hurt and carry their scars in so many ways, and good guys don’t always win… sometimes the bad guys get away. There was also the fact that I’d witnessed and directly experienced so much action and horror that I didn’t want to spend my free time living more of it. I didn’t make time for movies and such anyway, I focused on work because I needed to feel like I was making a difference. I would carry the world’s scars if it meant innocent civilians didn’t have to. I was never accused of having a life and my wife was the job. 

I even explained some of this to Wesker when he asked me what was wrong since I apparently looked depressed. He was quiet for a moment, probably thinking about his role in making my life as dark as it was. Then he shared that watching TV wasn’t something he was familiar with growing up since television was still mostly for news and other important stuff when he was born and was still in the process of changing into the media sensation it became when he was a kid. Either way it was a ‘meaningless activity’ so he never much indulged in it. 

“Oh my god you’re so old.” I laughed and he narrowed his eyes at me before using the hand that rested on the back of the couch to smack me upside the head lightly but it didn’t stop me. 

“I’m not that much older than you.” he countered as I settled down. I rotated on the couch to lay down so my head was on his lap and I looked up at him. 

“Thirteen years is a lot.” I said and he rolled his eyes. 

“Our ages don’t matter.” 

“I didn’t say they did.” we stared at each other for a considering second before the blond leaned down to kiss me. It was soft and chaste but I stopped him from sitting straight after it was over and kissed him again, deeper this time as my fingers tangled into his hair to hold him in place. His tongue rolled over mine and soon I was sitting up onto my knees next to him as he turned his body to face me. The kissing continued, hands traveled, my shirt was removed. I wasn’t sure how far I wanted to go right now, I wanted to have sex with Wesker but his promise of what else we could do for hours before that was so enticing. There was so much to do and we had the time to do a lot but we wouldn’t be able to do it all at once. So the question was, where to start? 

But then of fucking course my phone rang. 

“Ignore it.” Wesker demanded against my lips and I made no argument as I locked my mouth over his. I let the phone go to voicemail as my hands pushed Wesker back flush against the couch, one of my knees swinging over him so I was straddling his lap. He hummed his approval into our kiss, his hands sliding up my sides and back before raking down with his nails. It hurt even though he was probably being gentle about it but it also felt good in a strange way that went straight to my groin. I pulled my mouth from his so he could hear the pleased groan he wanted from me. “You’re something of a masochistic, aren’t you?” he teased and I replied by biting down on his neck as hard as I could. He grunted more annoyed than pained so it wasn’t as satisfying as I wanted and I wondered how much he actually felt it. I was pleased to see that there was a mark when I pulled away though I was sure it would heal too quickly to enjoy later. 

“Cheater.” I grumbled and he only smirked before moving his lips to my collarbone, tracing over marks he’d left on me before that were still healing. 

“I don’t find pain enjoyable but if you want to hurt me you’re more than welcome to try.” he said it with that damn smirk and I glared at his challenge. My phone buzzed with the notification of a voicemail and I sighed as Wesker rolled his eyes. 

“I’m just gonna check what’s going on then I’ll put it away.” I told the blond as I turned to grab my phone from the coffee table. 

“Why must you always interrupt our fun for anything else?” he growled at me as I unlocked my phone and called my voicemail. I pressed my lips to his to shut him up as I held my phone to my ear to listen. He reacted well to this, his hands at my back squeezing me closer to him as he deepened the kiss. I had one new voicemail just made. I moved to kiss and bite at his jawline, moving down his neck over the same spot I’d abused just before which had already healed much to my irritation. I’d have to make him eat his words and hurt him so much during ‘our fun’ that he learned to like it. Not because I enjoyed hurting people, even him, but mostly purely out of spite. 

“Hey Chris, I just got the report on what happened with Irving.” Jill’s voice spoke though she sounded tired. I sat up and stopped my teasing which had Wesker glaring at me but I guess the serious look on my face stopped him from making a fuss about it since he could tell there was something going on. “They’re not gonna send it to you since it’s work related but I can at least tell you what we learned from him.” I had actually somehow forgotten all about Irving, the black market contact Wesker had prematurely given up as a way of giving me some way of doing something about what happened with Claire. With that in mind again, I leaned forward to give the older man a quick kiss of appreciation though I doubted he knew what for. “So call me when you’ve got some time.” the voicemail ended so I moved my phone from my ear to delete it. I wondered why Jill was still up, she should be at home asleep rather than going over reports but I guess she was always as dedicated to the job as I was though she was more balanced about it. 

“Irving?” 

“Yeah.” I stared at my phone for a second then turned my gaze to Wesker then back to my phone. He groaned and put his head on the back of the couch as his hands slid down to rest comfortably on my hips. 

“Just call her.” he told me, accepting that we were already interrupted but all I could think about was how vastly exposed his neck was for my lips. I couldn’t help it, I bent to run my tongue from the collarbone up his neck to the spot behind his ear and he shivered at the kiss I placed there which made me chuckle. 

“Did I find a sweet spot?” I mimicked his words in a low whisper against his ear before running my tongue in a lazy circle over the spot and he growled at me but made absolutely no move to stop me. I wondered how used to this he was. I knew he’d had a lover before but it wasn’t out of genuine interest in her so was there any of this foreplay? Did he even actually know what he liked? Well I intended to find every little sensitive spot his body had, learn all his reactions to what he liked and what didn’t get him going as well. I wanted all of him. He grabbed my chin to force my mouth back onto his and I didn’t complain. 

Wesker moved his hips in an upward motion so I could feel his hardness and I moaned in longing into our kiss. Then I scooted higher onto his lap to keep the pressure on both our erections. Suddenly his hands were under my ass and he was lifting me as he stood up but before I could react, he turned and dropped me lengthwise onto the couch. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do when I opened my mouth to speak but it caught in my throat when I saw him above me. Glowing red eyes watched me hungrily even as he took off his shirt, dropping it carelessly and getting onto the couch below me. His hands seductively touched my knees and slowly spread my legs to make room for his body between them. My face heated up much more than it had been previously as I processed what was happening and I felt my pulse in my… everywhere- my chest, my throat, my ears, my fingertips. I was still incredibly nervous but I wanted this- I wanted him. 

“I should… call…” my small voice muttered, still clutching onto my phone but my fingers easily relented when he took the device from me to toss onto the coffee table. 

“I don’t think so. You lost your opportunity to back out this time.” he commanded in a low dangerous tone that told me I’d crossed a line of turn on that couldn’t be easily turned off… and fuck was it sexy. Desperately my hands gripped at his arms to pull him closer to me and once his head was within reach, one hand grabbed at the back of his head to pull him on top of me to force his lips on mine. I didn’t care where his lips were as long as they were on me. I guess I had crossed a line too because seeing the raw need for me in Wesker’s inhuman eyes did something to me and now every move I made was frantic and uncaring of anything else. My head tilted back into the couch cushion as I gasped when Wesker’s hard cock ground into mine. Without stopping, the blond continued to attack my now exposed neck with his tongue and teeth but he wasn’t as careful this time and I soon felt warmth seeping down my skin through the pain. He offered no apology as he continued down my throat to my chest, leaving hard dotted crescent markings in his wake. Some bites bled, others didn’t. My fingers gripped and tugged at his hair but he didn’t really react to it which was pissing me off. So I slid my free hand between us and grabbed his erection through his sweatpants. That got a reaction. His teeth tightened over the skin of my pec and I cringed at the sharp pain of him breaking the skin again, now glad he hadn’t yet reached my nipple. Then his voice hit me, a sexy mix between a frustrated growl and a needy moan. 

I was about to look at him to see what kind of expression he was making when my eyes instead moved to the coffee table when my phone rang. Though I wasn’t planning on doing anything about that, it caused Wesker to move back up so his body was pinning mine to the couch to prevent me from even trying to go for it. His lips found mine again and I was kicked in the gut by the taste of blood. This was wrong, blood wasn’t supposed to be involved with sex- blood meant death. The soldier in me fought against my lust trying to assure that everything was fine in order to stop what was happening. My phone was silent only for a moment before ringing again. The soldier won and I struggled to push Wesker off of me and when I either managed it or he got that I wasn’t just teasing anymore, he moved at least enough to question me. When I saw his face I did something I very rarely ever did… I froze. His face was shadowed by the overhead light, his slitted eyes were glowing red, the lustful glaze in them didn’t look so seductive anymore it seemed murderously sadistic, and the blood covering his mouth and smeared a little across his chin and cheeks made me think of the deadly monster I’d always viewed him as. For a moment I wasn’t a hardened soldier anymore. I was the helpless victim watching a monster kill my friends, the same one I was in all my nightmares of Wesker. 

I was harshly snapped out of it when he opened his mouth to say something, I’m not even sure what it was. For a moment all I knew was that there was a murderous monster pinning me down, I was in pain- bitten for god’s sake, and he needed to die! I barely stopped myself from attacking. That was all just a flash, there and gone. I knew where I was and why, I knew I was okay and not infected with anything, I knew what we were doing and that Wesker hadn’t done anything right now for me to attack him over. It was just a reaction from the trauma of the nightmare that was our history. 

Before he could say anything else or ask what was wrong, I pushed a hand against his chest to get away from me as I sat up and quickly scooted away from him until my butt hit the arm of the couch. He called my name with concern but seemed to know better than to touch me. I couldn’t look at him. There was a war going on inside me and I was so confused and conflicted. Everything was fine, we were fine. It’s just the blood and nightmares coming back to bite me in the ass. I just needed some time to calm down and we would be okay. It was definitely a mood killer but it didn’t change anything, I still wanted to have sex with him, I just needed to calm down and tell him the biting wasn’t okay going forward- at least no breaking skin. I knew he probably didn’t mean to at first but when I didn’t react badly to it, he probably stopped caring. Once I explained that it wasn’t okay, he’d be careful again and we’d be okay. 

“Chris?” he called again, still trying to get my attention. My phone rang again and I snatched it up to answer. 

“Sorry to interrupt but I got a call from the girl on cams and you guys are really freaking her out.” Jill’s tired voice started though she didn’t sound too interested in the topic. “If you guys wanna fuck on camera that’s up to you guys as long as I don’t have to watch it but she didn’t know what to do about it and the biting and the blood is where I drew the line.” from the corner of my eye I noticed Wesker get up from the couch and head swiftly into his bedroom, a moment later I heard his shower turn on. 

“Okay.” was all I trusted myself to say right then and if my voice faltered, she didn’t notice. 

“I really need to get some sleep before my shift in a few hours so we’ll talk about stuff later.” she said the last few words through a yawn. She muttered a good night that I didn’t bother responding to before I hung up. I sat still for a minute, feeling the throb of bites around my torso. I finally sighed to myself when I decided I was okay. I dabbed at some of the blood on my neck and groaned, knowing I was going to be hurting for a while especially if Wesker decided to keep this up rather than allowing my body time to heal. I needed to go check on him, he was probably worried or angry- maybe both. I checked to make sure none of my blood had gotten onto the couch and was thankful I hadn’t been bleeding bad enough for it to drip so there was nothing on the furniture. Peeking into Wesker’s room, I saw him standing under what I assumed was a cold spray still wearing his pants which now clung to his legs in a way I would’ve found sexy if the mood hadn’t been absolutely shattered. His hands were on the wall in front of him, his head was down, and he was tense so yeah- very angry. 

I approached slowly and when he didn’t move or say anything to acknowledge me, I stepped under the cold water with him and pressed my body to his as I wrapped my arms around his front. I laid my cheek against his shoulder and closed my eyes against the water as I ignored the sting of it hitting my injuries. He didn’t say anything but he relaxed a little. We were only there a few minutes when he turned off the water and stood straight so I let him go and took a step back. He grabbed a nearby towel and turned around to place it over my head so he could dry my hair for me. He slowly dried my upper body, taking care around my now clean wounds before doing the same to himself as he walked over to his dresser to grab a change of pants. Without hesitance or shame… or even a glance at me, he took off his only article of clothing so he could dry his legs and put on the new pants. Then he tossed me the towel and left the room. 

I didn’t like this. I’d been watching him the entire time and he was too composed, I could barely read any of his body language because it just wasn’t there. He had his guard up and didn’t want me to see anything… he wasn’t comfortable with me anymore. And… I hated that. I hated it a lot more than I ever thought I would- scratch that, I never thought I would care about Wesker’s comfortability at all. But here I was, awkwardly pretending to dry my hair again as I waited for him to come back so I could figure out how to fix this. 

I was prodding at my aching neck when he came back with a pair of my pants from my room and both of our shirts from the living room. I wasn’t shy about my body and we’d both casually seen each other naked before back in the RPD showers so I didn’t care if Wesker saw me naked especially considering what I wanted to do with him. But there were cameras in here and that’s not something I was comfortable with. I eyed a few of the cameras around the room before sighing and securing the towel around my waist so I could take off my wet pants. I dried the best I could without removing the towel and slid my legs into the pants Wesker handed to me. I left the towel with our forgotten pants as the blond handed over my shirt though I didn’t put it on and ended up tossing it onto his bed where he had left his. I didn’t want the fabric irritating the bite marks. 

“First aid?” I was confused at first but then I felt it, I was bleeding again and Wesker had noticed before I had. I told him where to get the kit and left the room with him to sit back down on the couch, holding my hand to my neck to stop the blood from getting far. Pushing the coffee table closer to the couch with his foot, Wesker then also kicked my phone off of the surface though not with enough force to do any damage, just enough to get it to the floor and away from us. Then he sat on the slightly lower surface in front of me. He nudged my hand away so I moved it, resting it palm up on my knee so I didn’t get blood anywhere else and he got to work cleaning and patching me up. “I thought you made up your mind about me.” the blond stated with a tone so neutral you wouldn’t think he was talking about anything important. 

“I have.” I answered too quickly but it finally got his still red eyes on me. “That’s not it, I…” I sighed and rubbed at my face, trying to figure out how to word this. “I’m not having second thoughts or anything like that, I was just caught off guard.” I stated simply and he stared at me for a second before looking back at what he was doing. With him actually maintaining his expression, I couldn’t tell if that was a good or bad thing. 

“I didn’t realize you’ve had your guard up this whole time.” 

“I haven’t and you know that, we’ve both been very relaxed. I only meant that as a figure of speech.” he didn’t respond to that… at all, not even a flicker of anything. I really didn’t like him guarding himself from me like this again. 

“Then what’s the problem?” he was working on my chest now but the only bleeding bite was that last one. 

“The blood.” that got his attention to me again, this time sharper and he seemed to be studying me. “Just, with everything that’s happened between us and all the blood and death I’ve witnessed it’s not like I can just turn off blood equaling danger.” I explained shortly and he reacted . His head lowered a little as he shook it, his eyebrows turned up in disbelief, his lips pulled into a small smile, and his body relaxed so much it seemed like he was slouching in comparison. I stared at him in surprise from the sudden change and whatever tension he’d been carrying just moments ago was gone. 

“That’s it?” he almost laughed. 

“Well it had a little to do with you. I’ve had nightmares starring you as the blood soaked bad guy so it brought some of that up too.” I told him but he shook his head again. 

“I assume that’s not going to be a problem, you would have factored that as you were making up your mind.” I nodded and he leaned closer to rest his forehead to mine, his hands now motionless but still on my broad chest. “Nothing’s changed then?” I tilted my head to kiss him. 

“Nothing’s changed, we’re okay.” I promised and then he kissed me again to seal it. 

“Just so you know, that’s not something I’m into either.” he began as he sat up and finished bandaging the last bleeding bite wound. “I got overexcited and bit you harder than I intended, I didn’t mean to make you bleed.” I felt my face heat up as he spoke and felt stirring in my abdomen with him telling me directly how much I affected him. I wanted to continue where we left off. “You didn’t stop me and since you are a bit of a masochist, I thought you liked it so I didn’t hold back as much.” he finished cleaning me up by wiping the blood from my hand. 

“It’s fine, that’s what I figured happened.” I’m not sure if it was something in my tone that got him to look at me but he smirked at my blushing face though I glared at him for it. 

“You seem to think I’m good at everything.” he leaned again, tilting his head to the side so his lips could get tantalizingly close to whisper into my ear. “Shall we find out if I’m any good at dirty talking since you seem to be enjoying it?” my face got even hotter and I raised a hand to cover it as Wesker sat back to examine his work on me and chuckled. “I’ll take that as a yes.” the words rolled from his lips like an invitation to capture them. But I didn’t, I was feeling tired again from the stress I’d accidentally put myself through just a bit ago. But everything was fine now. I leaned forward to rest my head onto the older man’s shoulder and he actually ran his fingers from the base of my neck into my hair. It was comforting and nice. Yeah, we were okay. 

… … … 

We sat on the couch, our legs laying across the length with my back to Wesker’s chest. I put the last page down of the letters I’d just finished reading, last night’s ‘First Meet’ and tonight’s ‘Curiosity. I put the letters face down on the coffee table and tipped my head backward until I could see the blond’s face upside down. 

“Good to know you cared about me even back then.” I chuckled as he rolled his eyes. 

“I didn’t care about you, I was just curious.” he countered and pretended to go back to his own reading. 

“Just because you didn’t realize what it was doesn’t mean it’s not true.” I said and the older man looked up though not anything for a moment before his gaze turned to me quizzically. Then his lips hardened into a line and he looked at his book again. I laughed and turned a little to see him better. “I’m right?” I asked because while I thought it was right, I didn’t expect him to think so too. 

“You’re not wrong.” he corrected. 

“Same thing.” 

“Leagues apart.” 

“Whatever.” I settled back against him with a yawn. We’d had dinner and spent some time watching TV before we both got sick of it and switched to reading since I had to catch up on these anyway. 

“Go to bed if you’re tired.” I groaned in objection but didn’t argue. I was tired in the sense that I wanted to go lay down but I wasn’t feeling tired in a way that meant I would actually fall asleep. My body was sore and my neck still dully throbbed every time I moved my head. I wanted to go to bed but Wesker still seemed to want to stay up. He was sending me off though and I wanted to listen. I wouldn’t ask him to join me for now but maybe later. I tilted my head back again and without having to be asked, he kissed my lips. “Sleep well.” I smiled at him and sighed before getting off of him. 

“Get some sleep too, okay?” I called as I walked to my room. He hummed dismissively but I didn’t pay it any mind as I left my door open and crawled into bed. The couch was comfortable but my bed was better and as much as I loved laying with Wesker, his body wasn’t soft at all. 

~~~ 

Curiosity 

I wasn’t going to search for him, I had better things to do with my time and resources. But it was just a quick check, it wouldn’t require any manpower nor would anyone know I’d done it- not that it mattered. I knew Chris had survived the mansion incident with Jill, Barry, Brad, and Rebecca but I wasn’t sure what became of them after Racoon City was destroyed. I was aware of Barry’s resignation which was most likely for the sake of his family, Rebecca had left the city pretty quickly after escaping the mansion, and the rest had stayed on the job but I didn’t know much more after that. Were they caught up in the incident? Were they killed? Was Chris still alive? 

I grimaced at the thought of him dying to a lowly zombie after all the trouble he caused me. Still, his death would mean he would never be a concern to me or my plans again. Would it be more acceptable for him to die at the hands of something of a higher level? No, that didn’t satisfy me either. Perhaps if he had fallen to something of my own direct creation, still didn’t do it. It wasn’t satisfactory if it wasn’t me or at least of my own making- my own planning. I needed to be the one to kill him, or at the very least be the one to make it happen. If he died in Racoon City by whatever means- well it was practically an accident and that wasn’t acceptable! 

“Fuck it.” I growled to myself as I did a quick search for the man who was once my pointman. He and the others put some real pressure on Chief Irons after what happened at the Arklay Facility but of course nothing came of it since he was taking bribes from Umbrella. It seemed as though Chris had some disciplinary action on him for outbursts and was suspended just before STARS was disbanded in favor of forming the Racoon SWAT. A pity, STARS had been top of the line however it made sense to get rid of them since they knew too much. I’m surprised to learn they hadn’t been killed off although with more digging I learned that wasn’t entirely true. Umbrella had unleashed the Nemesis Project into Racoon City with the sole purpose of killing off all the remaining STARS members. Based on Jill’s statements, she had fought it several times before finally managing to kill it though it was successful in killing Brad so it wasn’t a complete failure. Barry had come to Jill’s rescue and they escaped but there was no mention of Chris. Where the fuck was he? 

I hacked my way into his personal information and found the purchase of a ticket to Europe. The flight was before the Racoon City Incident and there had yet to be a return to Racoon City or anywhere so it was safe to assume he wasn’t there when the outbreak happened. But what was he doing in Europe? There was no way it was actually for a ‘vacation’ as he had seemed to tell people. Knowing him, he would stay on the case until the end. With his self righteous view of justice, he wouldn’t just let everything he saw slide. He must have found something that led him to Europe but what? It had to do with Umbrella, that part was absolutely certain. 

So that left me with another dilemma. Did I drop the matter or continue to search for him? Just because he wasn’t involved in the outbreak didn’t mean he was still alive. There hadn’t been any activity on his accounts after he arrived in Europe, he seemed to go nearly completely off the grid. The next best clue as to what could have become of him was if I wormed my way into Umbrella’s systems even if just a little. But that could be dangerous, I was supposed to be dead and if I triggered even the slightest alarm I could potentially reveal myself or my location to them. Was finding out whether Chris was alive worth endangering myself? 

I was skimming a few recent files an hour later. Umbrella had suffered break ins at two separate facilities and it was only recently they were able to identify Chris as the culprit. He hadn’t been able to take anything of value of course, all of the damning evidence was too heavily guarded and he would never be able to infiltrate that deep on his own no matter how good he was. Though I’m sure they’d put a hit on him, I knew they wouldn’t find him, the clever bastard. I, on the other hand, was hearing whispers of an anti-BOW organization trying to pull together and just knew Chris had to be in the center of it. I wasn’t sure how he got back to the US but he must have gotten enough information to better focus his efforts. 

A vicious little smile spread on my lips. Chris was alive and still putting himself on the line. We would see each other again and when we did I would kill him. He would die directly by my hand, it was exactly what he deserved. The only acceptable death for my favorite, delivered by my very hand.

Chapter Text

Of course I couldn’t sleep, I knew I wasn’t going to since my mind was still so active. I sighed to myself, contemplating if I wanted to get back up. I’d been laying in bed long enough my mattress had gone from comfortable to stiff but maybe that’s just because I was restless with Wesker still on my mind. I was horny and wanted to masturbate but Wesker would get upset if I did. Why do that though when I could let Wesker take care of me like he offered? The things that man could do to me… I really wanted to be touched or at least to touch myself. I thought about dragging Wesker in here so we could at least do something if not actually have sex but it was really late, early technically, and maybe this was one of the nights he was actually sleeping. Maybe tomorrow. 

Luckily my phone buzzed with a text from Jill asking if I was still awake so I replied to let her know I was. She texted me when her shift started and was going to fill me in on what happened with Irving but she got caught up doing something else for a while. I knew if I didn’t answer she would still leave all the information there for me to read when I woke up but I needed the distraction. 

Jill: Like I said you can’t see the report until you’re out of there but I can fill you in on the highlights
Chris: Did he give up anything actionable
Jill: Not directly but with some digging we might have something and we’re keeping close tabs on him to see what he’s up to
Chris: What about TerraSave
Jill: I’ll get to that
Chris: I just want to know that real fast
Jill: He hasn’t heard of anything planned against TerraSave and from what he said it seems like it’s unlikely since they don’t actually fight against attacks and their clean up can be as beneficial to our bad guys as it is to us
Chris: So what happened
Jill: There still hasn’t been an official statement but it’s looking like the construction company cut corners some faulty materials may have been used
Chris: So it really was just a coincidence
Jill: Something like that
Jill: They’ll face some serious lawsuits and charges but it’s not like that’ll help those who died
Chris: Will their families get anything
Jill: Most likely but what depends on the settlement
Chris: That’s something at least
Jill: Irving got a bit chatty about ‘the project’ but was smart enough not to say anything revealing so we still have no idea what it is
Jill: He did make several mentions to ‘the boss bitch’ or ‘the bitch upstairs’ but we didn’t get her name or whatever company they might be using
Chris: Send me the rest but I’m putting my phone away
Jill: Are you going to sleep
Chris: Something like that 

Without waiting for her response I silenced my phone and got out of bed. The distraction failed, I was barely following anything Jill was saying. The more I tried to focus on something that wasn’t Wesker, the more I thought only about him. What was he doing right now? Was he asleep? Was he thinking about me? Was he… wanting me? Because I really wanted him. And why not take what I wanted? I’d already made up my mind and I knew he was more than eager… that didn’t help me to stay in any sort of right mind. I wasn’t tired right now and I didn’t really care if he was. I was going to have him right now and there would be no more hesitation and no more interruptions. 

I stood in his doorway, shirtless and peering in at him sitting up in bed as he went through another of the textbooks with a pen. He was openly staring at my bared torso and when his reddened eyes locked onto mine something in his body language shifted. He was just a little more alert but not in a negative way, I recognized it as excitement so he could probably tell that I was horny and wanted him. I smirked at him as he put his things down to free his hands. I knew he wanted me to come to him but I had other plans. Without saying anything I shook my head and summoned him to me with just my forefinger. He got up from the mattress and walked closer to me which got my heart pumping fast. There was always something so exciting and satisfying when something so dangerous did what you wanted. Like a lion obeying a human, the power they must feel. 

He kissed me hard, his hands already at my hips to pull me into him. I returned his aggression as my fingers found the hem of his shirt and pulled up, forcing us apart just long enough for the blond man to lift his arms to get out of the fabric before his lips were on mine again. He took a step back and forced me to follow him a step before I pulled away. For a moment his eyes flashed red at me before he saw the look on my face hadn’t changed so he could tell I wasn’t backing out. 

“My room.” I breathed against his mouth and he growled in longing. His hands lowered to grab at my ass but I moved away from his touch otherwise we might not actually make it to my room. I continued to back up, my fingers trailing over his body as I got far enough to need to reach for him. He reached back so my fingers could travel the length of his arm before finally grasping his hand to pull him along, not that he wouldn’t follow me on his own but I wanted to drag him with me. He didn’t resist the motion and it was only a moment later we were in my room with Wesker kicking the door closed behind him, blocking out the light from the other room. 

His lips and hands were on me in an instant, his fingers traveling down the skin of my back and his tongue at my throat. I continued to pull him back with me, stopping only when my legs hit the edge of my bed but the blond pushed me back to fall onto it. I quickly scooted up the bed to make room for him to join me and he wasted no time climbing on top of me. I loved the sight of him above me, his hands starting at my ankles and moving up to my knees to push them apart. My heart pounded aggressively against my ribs in excitement and I didn’t fight him settling comfortably between my legs. I tried to sit up to kiss him but he pushed me back down into the mattress, a dark chuckle slipping from those desirable lips. 

“Kiss me.” I commanded angrily and he quickly lay over me to lock his lips over mine, his tongue invading my mouth as if he could take it over. I moaned into the kiss as his fingernails scratched lines down my stomach to the hem of my pants. I responded by rocking my hips up, catching some wonderful friction against his body. “You’re eager.” I chuckled as we parted and the look in his orange eyes was staggering. A pleasant mix of longing both lustful and content. 

“How can I refuse you when you’re being so enticing?” he asked with a smirk and I smiled at him. His fingers hooked into my pants but stopped there, his eyes seeking something in mine- hesitation probably. He found none. I reached between us to grab his hand and helped him pull my pants down. I felt kind of awkward and incredibly nervous doing it, I’d never imagined revealing myself like this to another man- not in this context anyway. But I wasn’t hesitant, I knew I wanted this- I wanted Wesker. He sat back to pull the fabric of my pants and my boxers off my legs completely to leave me laying on my bed entirely naked. I watched his eyes rake over my exposed body and I was anxious but not embarrassed, I knew I had no reason to be. I would never say I was the best looking man out there, not by a long shot but I was confident in the fortress I built my body to be. 

Wesker moved closer to me again from the short distance needed to get my pants off. I spread my legs wider for him to get even closer, my heart racing and my body tensing when I felt his cock brush against mine. I was lost in lust but I still had to give some effort to not thinking too much about where that cock was about to go. I wasn’t freaking out about it but my mind was instinctively rebelling against the idea even as my body was yearning for it. I was entirely unfamiliar with being touched like this but my body was already reacting to Wesker as if we’d done this a hundred times before. The blond leaned over me to kiss my lips again, one hand on the pillow next to my head to support himself and the other moved between us. I felt him shift his pants farther down his hips and then his fingers curled around both of our erections, stroking them against each other which felt amazing. I moaned against the older man’s lips before he pulled away to bite at my neck to force more sound from me. I arched into his touch even though it only pressed our bodies closer together and limited his movements. I heard him growl as he sat up so he could use his now freed hand to pin my hips to the bed. I hadn’t noticed my hands had wandered up to grip at his biceps until I saw my fingernails digging into his skin. 

His eyes shone through the darkness, vibrant orange pools staring at me with a passionate intensity. So they can glow orange. I shifted one hand to the back of his head as I half sat up while pulling him down to kiss him. As our tongues rolled over each other, my hands traveled the length of his torso to get to his pants. Without teasing, I pushed the waistband of his pants down and he shifted to help me get them off of his body until he was also entirely naked. His hand moved back to my hips to keep them pinned to the bed as his other hand wrapped around the both of us again to continue pumping. I grabbed his wrist as he sped up, tipping my head back into my pillow as panting moans spilled from my lips. The blond leaned down and sealed his mouth over my nipple, circling his tongue over it sensually. He switched to the other side but only momentarily as he rested his forehead against my chest and groaned in pleasure. I bit my lip to keep my voice down in order to better listen to him. The sounds he made were marvelous and gave me the last push I needed. 

“Wesker… more.” I’m pretty sure I managed to say. I rocked my hips up the best I could with his hand still pressing them down. His slicked cock rubbed over mine and his fingers worked over both of us to create friction so electric my brain fogged over. But I knew I still wanted more. “Wesker… Wesker.” I breathed his name as my hands cupped his face to drag him up to kiss me. My tongue slid across his to lure it back into my mouth before I bit down on it hard enough to make him grunt pull away from me but I spoke before he could. “I’m gonna cum if you keep this up.” my voice came out almost as a whine. 

“I’d say that’s rather the point.” he grinned knowingly but I shook my head. 

“Not if you’re gonna fuck me.” I teased, my voice sounding so bold and… honestly it held more sultry desire than I was aware I possessed. With how nervous I was over actually having sex with Wesker, I sure sounded confident. He froze. He actually froze, his hand ceasing all motion, and stared at me with a disbelieving look for a solid minute. I lifted myself onto my elbows and stared back, my gaze full of determination. I wanted this. “I’m serious.” I told him and before I could process what was happening I was flat on my back again with his teeth at my neck. The hand that had pinned my hips before now grasped at them and the hand that had been jerking us off was gone. I would have grunted my disapproval but I felt his dick slide away from mine to be repositioned at my ass. My entire body tensed instantly. 

“Chris.” my name slipped from his mouth on his breath in my ear and while it was beyond sexy, my nerves were suddenly taut and his sensual breath only pulled them tighter. 

“W-Wesker I-” I held my breath as the tip of his dick pressed against me but stopped just before it became painful. 

“Are you prepared?” his voice was low but I could hear the impatience in his tone. 

“Uh…” my mind faltered over the question, knowing he wasn’t asking about my emotional readiness as we’d gotten past that already even if it was without words. I was a little slow on the uptake here but when it registered that he was asking if I was physically ready… that he was asking if I’d been doing it myself, I blushed and turned my head away. I thought back to my time in the shower with the dildo and how I didn’t want him to know about it. Even now I knew he probably didn’t, he was just trying to figure out if he needed to bother with preparing me himself or risk really hurting me which yes, would entirely end my willingness to do this.  But still, it felt like he knew and was calling me out on it- maybe even questioning if I’d done a good enough job. In honesty, I probably hadn’t. 

“Chris.” he warned as he grabbed my chin to force my head back to look at him. “Are you prepared?” he repeated, putting a slow and impatient emphasis on each word. 

“Um… not… really.” I finally answered, hoping not to get questioned further on it. The older man growled at me, his eyes momentarily flashing red in his annoyance. Knowing him, I’d gotten him to the point of barely containing himself just to basically tell him he had to wait again. 

“You have lubrication, yes?” I nodded and was about to tell him where it was when I remembered what else was with it. Shit I really should have moved it out here before going to get him but I wasn’t really thinking about the little things like that. 

“It’s… I’ll go get it.” I told him as I tried to sit up but he wouldn’t let me move, his cock pressing against me harder now to threaten to go in dry and without first stretching me if I dared to move. I heeded the warning and laid still. “In the… bathroom, under the sink.” I reluctantly forced out. One second he was above me and the next he was gone, his warmth stolen away from me. I quickly turned my head toward the bathroom only to have to shut them when the light was flicked on. I blinked several times until my eyes adjusted enough to see through the sudden light only to find Wesker’s red gaze on me, annoyance replacing the lust in his eyes though I could still see his erection from where he knelt on the floor. I wanted to ask him what his problem was but knew what he’d found so I couldn’t say anything. Then he held up the dildo for me to see and I covered my face with my arm as I groaned loudly in protest. 

“You really believed this to be sufficient?” he asked with a certain degree of being absolutely appalled. 

“I wasn’t trying to match you.” I objected for what felt like the dozenth time. 

“What were you trying to do?” 

“Get used to the feeling.” he was quiet so I guess maybe he understood what I meant. There was a slight ruffle of plastic and then Wesker’s body was climbing back over me, leaving the bathroom light on so we could properly see each other. He kissed up my torso as he was able to reach and at first I thought it was kind of sweet but then quickly learned it only served as a distraction. His cold and slicked fingers pressed to my asshole and one impatiently pushed into me. I grunted and tipped my head back, my eyes squeezing shut as I focused on keeping my breathing steady. It wasn’t painful or even all that uncomfortable, I’d done enough to make a single finger okay but my nerves were keeping me tense. Without waiting, the blond pushed in a second and I cringed. 

“Is it too much?” I shook my head which apparently meant it was fine to stick a third finger into me. I flinched and grabbed at his shoulders as if that would somehow stabilize me. 

“Wesker-” 

“Bear with it.” he ordered as he pushed in deeper and I bit my lip to hold back a tense groan. It was uncomfortable as hell, bordering on pain though it wasn’t hitting me too badly. He’d added a generous amount of lube so it was smooth but the pressure was still foreign and not entirely welcome. I reminded myself that it was my imagination that relaxed me and got me into the feeling last time so… wait. I didn’t need to imagine anything- Wesker was sitting between my legs with his fingers inside of me. Part of Wesker… was inside me. A shiver ran through my body and I finally opened my eyes to stare up into the orange ones above me. Wesker was here. We were doing this. I took a deep breath and tried to calm my nerves, relaxing my body as much as I was consciously able to. “Chris.” he whispered before I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. 

“I’m okay.” I nodded slightly as I spoke so he spread his fingers which did hurt but he went slow so it wasn’t unbearable. I’d helped myself to get over the initial hesitations of this and taught myself to accept the previously unknown sense of something being inside of me so now it was just a matter of getting used to… something bigger. He twisted and spread his fingers to stretch my insides and I tried to find it pleasurable but it took time. I wanted to ask how the hell he knew what to do when he’d never done this before though he would probably write it off as common knowledge of anatomy. Already I begged to defer, I took sex ed as a kid and I still didn’t know what I was doing when I had to do something like this the first time I had sex with a woman. “Hey.” I accidentally objected when he slid his fingers out of my ass and he chuckled. 

“You’ve relaxed enough.” he stated factually as he repositioned himself closer to me. My breath caught in my throat but I nodded in agreement. I heard the cap on the lube pop open again and sat up to take it from him. He allowed this and watched me pour some into the palm of my hand, rolling the slippery substance over my fingers before reaching between our bodies to grab his dick. Though I’d touched it before, this was the first time I’d directly held it skin to skin and though I was still nervous, I enjoyed the way it excited me. My heart thumped harder in my chest and the air around me felt like it was heated with electric sparks. I knew one day I would want it in my mouth but not tonight- tonight we were both overeager for it to be truly inside me. Wesker hummed in approval as I stroked him to spread the lube, watching me with seductive half lidded eyes. His hand found my cheek and I stopped staring at the way my hand slipped smoothly over his penis long enough to spare him a glance. He leaned forward to kiss me, an action I instantly reciprocated. His other hand pushed against my chest to urge me backward so I laid back, the blond following me down to keep the kiss going. His tongue snaked around my mouth and I swear to god he was too good at this to really have no experience. 

Without pulling away, I moaned heatedly into his mouth when I felt the tip of his dick press against my ass. It was warm and slick and- 

“Fuck!” I exclaimed as my muscles suddenly tightened, my thighs constricted around Wesker’s hips, and my hands grasped hard at his arms. He pushed the head in too suddenly and it hurt but he didn’t stop though he was at least taking it slow now. “Wesker-” 

“Bear with it.” he ordered again and I growled at him as I tipped my head back as if not looking would make it easier. I was breathing heavily by the time he was fully sheathed inside. It hurt but it wasn’t nearly as bad as taking a bullet or being stabbed- I mean the sensation was similar to being stabbed but the pain was different. 

“Could’ve been nicer about it.” I snarled and he chuckled as he looked down at me. 

“I’m not often described as kind.” I didn’t respond to that, taking his point even if I could think of a number of examples of him being nice even without counting our time spent here. The evil shit he did still outweighed the good so I wasn’t going to needlessly argue the point. Dealing with my own settling, it took me a minute to notice there had been a tremble in the blond’s voice when he spoke. I watched the man above me in amazement at the odd blend of tension and relief in his expression. His eyes were closed, his head lowered, and his breath came out as a low sigh like he was trying to steady himself. 

“Wesker?” I questioned hesitantly, squirming a bit against the uncomfortable fullness I felt. He opened his eyes to meet my gaze with a subtly yellow hue that I couldn’t look away from. He lowered himself to kiss me, his tongue slowly rolled over mine without any of the near competitive heat we’d made out with before. It carried a different kind of heat, something more akin to passion though it was languid in nature. While we still kissed, he slowly pulled his hips back and though I tensed and groaned at the movement, I made no attempt to stop him. I would get used to it. As his lips parted mine he sighed again and his breath shook once more. 

“It just… feels very good.” he spoke low with his eyes closed to relish the pleasure he was experiencing. I smiled as a soft chuckle escaped me and though he now looked at me with accusing eyes he still seemed lost in sensation. 

“That’s… probably the cutest thing you’ve ever said.” I told him and genuinely meant it. Even the way he’d spoken the words, slow and deliberate though not as refined as his usual speech, as if it was the best he could do. I never thought I would think of him as cute especially not while we were having sex but it reminded me that he was basically a virgin and this was his first time actually doing it with someone he wanted to. It made me happy in a way I couldn’t understand. Without warning Wesker pressed into me again and I was able to bite down on the startled exclamation that wanted free from my throat. Though the action was meant to punish me, the blond shivered and moaned- a sound that spread heat throughout my body. Before I could say anything more his teeth were at my neck, not biting hard enough to trigger any negative reflexes but enough to put my body on alarm due to the pain which only served to make my senses more aware of what was happening. It heightened the experience and I pulled Wesker closer to me as I quietly moaned his name into his ear. It caused the desired reaction to get him moving and he gave another experimental thrust. He adjusted his position to give another that seemed to get a better reaction from me so he started moving into me almost rhythmically. 

The weirdness of the situation and the still unfamiliar sensation was quickly fading, making way for the pleasure and raw desire I felt in every nerve. I didn’t bother trying to hide my voice as I wasn’t embarrassed and neither did he so I got to enjoy every grunt and moan that slipped from his mouth when it wasn’t pressed to mine. I cupped the sides of his face to get him to look at me and we stared at each other as we moved and shared breath. We stayed like that for a while, just staring into each other’s eyes until a larger wave of pleasure rolled over me and caused me to throw my head back into my pillow with a sudden shout of ecstasy. Wesker took advantage of my arched position for easy access to my nipples, he licked and sucked at one and my body trembled under him. I almost didn’t want to but when I straightened and broke his contact with my chest, he licked his lips and watched me with lust narrowed orange eyes. 

“Ready for more?” he questioned seductively and I shuttered in anticipation at the promise his tone carried. 

“Fuck Wesker…” I uttered in helpless desire. “Yes- god yes!” I pleaded with him which caused his eyes to grow more intense as he sat up on his knees to reposition… me. He grabbed one of my legs to bring over his shoulder before hooking his arm under my other knee. With his fingers digging into my skin, he jerked me closer to his body which impaled his dick even deeper into me in one swift motion. I cried out both in pleasure and pain, my muscles tightening around him though judging by his reaction I’d say that was intended. He shivered and let out a low moan, closing his eyes again at the pleasurable feeling of me around him. Then he opened his eyes to watch me with a predatory expression, a devious smirk playing on his lips. He widened his stance on his knees and rocked his hips into me. 

I shamelessly released the scream that burst from my throat as he took up a fast pace, his skin meeting mine with a wet slap at every hard thrust. My hips weren’t even touching the mattress anymore and I was only partially aware of my nails gouging into the blond’s knees since that was all I could currently reach of him. My mind was a swirling cacophony of sensation, overloaded with this new experience and the way this superhuman gave it to me. I’d tried to imagine how this man would use his heightened abilities to pleasure me before but even my imagination couldn’t have comprehended how this would actually feel. He was moving so fast I couldn’t tell one thrust from another and his body was connecting with mine so hard I was sure everything below the belt would be bruised come morning. He had to be right when he called me a masochist because I didn’t want him to stop even though every deep spot his cock touched inside me brought pain with it too. My body was new to this- this brutality was too much. But fuck I didn’t want it to stop. 

“W-Wesker!” I called through the mindless haze. “Oh my god- Wesker!” 

“Yes…” I heard him growl out, the sound low and demanding. Somehow he felt it when his cock twitched inside me in his own excitement and it exploded even more pleasure in me. I screamed again as I came, the eruption nearly causing me to go blind with how badly my head was spinning from the overload I was being given. But he didn’t stop, still pushing into me just as violently and it kept me going even though I’d already finished. I was facing this pleasure with the pain it coexisted with and now it carried the tension of overstimulation. I couldn’t take it. I devolved into a mess of incoherence, unable to even beg him to give me a minute of rest. I didn’t even register he’d dropped my legs and pressed his body to mine until his mouth took mine over. There was no pattern or sense to his movements anymore, he just relentlessly hammered into me. “Chris.” my name on his tongue was deliciously tense and pleading. The coil tightened again in my abdomen just from hearing him so desperate for more of me. 

If asked how long we were at it, I couldn’t tell. I lost all ability to think, so lost in feeling Wesker that nothing else mattered. Nothing but him. My god. 

By the time I regained any sense of what was happening, I had come a second time and Wesker was nearly chanting my name above me before his teeth sank into my shoulder. His body convulsed and a feeling of heat sourched my insides that had me muttering and pleading for even more. He was still moving but slowly now, panting as he pulled his mouth from my skin. I felt like my entire body was covered with sweat and my hand slid across the blond’s chest to feel the slick moisture that had built on his skin as well. It made me feel good to have stirred him up so much. He was winding down, slowly stopping his hips though he stayed inside me. He looked at me again, the glow of his yellow eyes drawing my attention from his smooth chest. 

“I trust you enjoyed yourself?” he asked with a tired smile that I adored and returned even as I shook my head. 

“I enjoyed… you.” I spoke between heavy breaths, still trying to calm down enough to breathe correctly. His smile widened before he kissed me, slow and deep and intoxicating. My arms wrapped around his neck, keeping him to me because I couldn’t bear to have him away. “My god.” I added as he pulled out of the kiss only to moan in need at my words. 

“You will get me started up again.” he warned and though my body sparked with heat at the threat, my mind electrified with red flags and stand down orders. I was already so spent, there’s no way I could go again so soon- not with how thoroughly he fucked me. 

“N-no…” I stammered through the shiver that ran up my spine. “I don’t think I’d survive.” I told him and he laughed though I meant it. He kissed me again, a loving peck on my lips before he raised himself as much as I would allow and reached between us. Almost on instinct, as if I was about to lose something critically important to my own body, my legs locked on his hips to prevent him from moving. “Don’t!” I exclaimed without meaning to. Wesker raised a challenging eyebrow at my actions. 

“I thought you were satisfied.” he stated before easily pulling away from my grip, his dick inching out of my body only to slide back in since he wasn’t entirely soft yet. My entire frame shook from the overstimulation and I needed him to stop and let me rest- my mind and body were still fried and I wanted nothing more than sleep right now. But I wasn’t done relishing finally having my old captain after wanting him since he was my captain. 

“I-I am!” I told him hurriedly but I forced my legs to fall away from him as a way of undoing my previous actions. “So… so much.” I added with an erotic sigh at the very fresh and very vivid memories of what we had just done. He hummed low and thoughtful at me before lowering over me once more, his lips trailing kisses across my collarbone. 

“Yet you still want me inside of you.” he pointed out and all I could do was nod, mentally fighting off the electricity his every touch sparked in me. I was done. I could not do any more right now… but later… later was another story. “Are you sure you don’t want more?” he teased and I sharply inhaled at the feeling of his dick twitching against my inner walls. Fuck could he really go again already? He was a superhuman with greater endurance than anyone else, of course that would apply sexually too. 

“Just stay a little longer.” I pleaded, hoping he would understand that I was only human and needed a break especially after this being my first time like this… it was dawning on me just how painful my whole body would feel once I was fully down from this high. I groaned in objection and finally pried one hand away from Wesker to rub at my face. 

“What is it?” he asked with a chuckle in his voice though he lay still on top of me, ceasing his teasing which was greatly appreciated. 

“I’m gonna hurt.” I complained and felt his chest vibrate over mine as he laughed again this time at my misery. 

“I’ll take care of you.” he promised before moving to kiss me yet again though neither of us deepened it. When he moved away from me, it was to place a light kiss on my cheek and another on my neck where he then settled. His weight on top of me was comforting though I was sure he was still supporting himself over me so as not to labor my breathing. I was so comfortable and warm… and so incredibly happy. I still couldn’t believe this was real. But Wesker’s now even breath on my neck was hot and soothing, his penis still buried inside me reassured that this was indeed real. We had sex. I had sex with Albert Wesker. And it was amazing in all its brutal intensity. 

I wasn’t aware of my rapidly drifting consciousness until I felt the loss of the comfortable fullness Wesker had been providing me. I objected as my eyes opened to glare sleepily at the man above me though he only smiled at me as if he found my pouting to be endearing. 

“It’s been ten minutes, I would like to lay next to you now.” he informed me and I sighed in resignation since he had already pulled out. He looked tired too so it wasn’t fair for me to prevent him from sleeping especially since I was apparently already passing out. I nodded so he sat up, the air around us was still heated with our passion so I didn’t feel cold but I missed the pressure of him on me. I waited to see which direction he was going to go and moved that leg for him to get around it easier but he didn’t lay down yet, instead he grabbed for the blanket so I wiggled around with his pulling to get it out from under me. As he moved under the blanket and pulled it up over me as well, I straightened out to stretch my stiffening muscles even as they already began to object and ache. I groaned again thinking about how much worse it was probably going to get but ignored it for now in favor of turning onto my side to face Wesker now that he was laying down. I looked into content yellow-orange eyes since he was also on his side to face me and I smiled probably like a love struck teenager. He smiled warmly back at me as he held my hand in the small space between us. “Get some rest pet.” I felt my smile widen even as my heavy eyes closed. I wasn’t sure about that pet name at first but it was growing on me. 

“Night capt’n.” I slurred as sleep took me but not before I felt Wesker’s hand tenderly touch my cheek. 

… … … 

I woke up sore and aching everywhere but I dared not utter a sound. Wesker was still asleep, his face just inches from mine and his fingers still intertwined with mine while his other hand hung over my waist. I was beginning to accept this more and more… how did he put it… our feelings were shared and we had sex. The pain in my ass, the guaranteed bruises on my thighs, and the suffering of my lower spine were proof of the latter and everything he’s done lately was proof of the former. However I felt about this at the beginning of the month, I’m so glad he set this up. He told Claire he wanted to spend time alone with me to figure out why he didn’t want me dead. He figured out it was because he cared about me more than he ever thought he could. He told me he wasn’t expecting me to act so civilly and relaxed with him, he wasn’t aware of my ‘deep feelings’ for him. I wonder… if he was told at the beginning of this month that this is where we would be now, would he believe it? I know I wouldn’t, I was still in the process of believing it. 

I wanted to move to stretch out my limbs and start working the ache out of my body… although Wesker said he would take care of me so maybe it would be fine to just stay in bed and let him do all the work. I stared at him, my eyes tracing the subtle lines of his face as he slept. His head rested on my pillow, his hair still messed up from how he usually liked to keep it, his chest steadily moved with each breath he took, and his skin was warm on mine. I used to think he was such a cold bastard that even his skin would carry the same icy chill as his frozen, or nonexistent, heart… I knew better now. 

“You’re staring.” he said in a low tone but I wasn’t surprised he’d woken up from my gaze on him, he was a light sleeper and being watched would probably equate to danger in his life. 

“So?” I challenged and he opened his eyes to meet my gaze and stared back at me as his response. His eyes were the same orange I had grown familiar with during our stay together but after a few moments I got to watch the color lighten to more of a yellow-orange. I smiled because I’d put together that the color of his eyes was at least somewhat linked to how he was feeling, the lighter the color the better his mood. He was happy to wake up next to me. Maybe that was the real reason he still wore his sunglasses, so no one could tell how he was feeling. Although that’s assuming he was even aware of the changes, if he wasn’t then I wasn’t about to tell him lest he try to hide it from me. This was mine. 

“How are you feeling?” he finally asked, disturbing the peaceful moment the silence between us carried. I groaned and turned my face into my pillow. He chuckled low as he sat up. I wanted to stop him and tell him to just lay in bed with me all day but I wanted some pain medicine, water, and breakfast. All things he was probably mentally preparing already so I let him go. I watched him push the blanket from his body as he stood up, my gaze sliding around his body to take in as much as I could before he got dressed. Of course he noticed my staring and turned so his body was in my full view, offering himself to my eyes. So I hungrily raked over every inch I could see until I’d had my fill. Not that I would ever get tired of looking at him in all his naked glory but I was in pain, dehydrated, and hungry… maybe horny could have been added to that list but I was still hurting too much after earlier to seriously think of doing it again right now. But again, later was a different story. I nodded my approval of both him and his attempt to dress once my craving to see him was satisfied… for now. He chuckled at me and picked his pants up off of the floor to slip into them… I couldn’t help but notice that he didn’t put on his boxers… was he eager to take off his clothes again? 

He left my bedroom, leaving the door open as he grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and the pill bottle that was still out on the coffee table from when I took some last night to help with my neck. He stood at my side of the bed as he handed everything over, watching me as I half sat up though I flinched at the movement. If this were a combat situation, I’d still be fully active as if nothing was wrong because it wasn’t enough pain to keep me down. But in that situation I’d have the aid of adrenaline and fear keeping me going. Here I was safe and had someone to take care of me so it was fine to sit around and let everything settle on its own. 

“I’m turning on the camera so they know you’re alive.” Wesker warned as I was taking the pills and I did a quick assessment of myself to be sure that was okay. I knew my neck, shoulders, and chest were all marked but those would be seen anyway since my shirts wouldn’t be able to hide all of them. Much more of my body had other marks I was sure but all that and my nudity was hidden under the blanket so it was fine until I eventually needed to get out of bed. I watched the red recording light on the camera flick on then I lazily waved to it to show life. I wasn’t sure what time it was now but it was the early hours of morning when I dragged Wesker into bed with me, I had no idea how long it took us to finish then fall asleep, and I was feeling pretty well rested. So it had to be at least midafternoon which meant Jill would have ended her shift, gone home, and was probably asleep by now. I was still gulping down water when Wesker lifted the blanket to look down at me. I nearly choked on my drink as I hurried to force the blanket back down. 

“What- the hell?” I coughed my way through the words, trying to clear my airway of liquid. 

“You were staring at me naked, I think it only fair I get to stare at you naked.” he stated with a smug smirk. I glared at him over my heated face, my gaze flicking to the camera before returning to him. “Do you really believe I would allow anyone else to see you like this?” he challenged after catching my gaze. It was true the camera’s angle wouldn’t be able to see my body since it was on the wall near the door which was across the room and facing me directly so all it would see was a raised blanket. But still, whoever was watching would know he was staring at my naked body. Why did he turn on the camera if he wanted to do this first? Or was getting a rise out of me the point? 

“Fine.” I said as I released the blanket, deciding not to give him the reaction he wanted though I could still feel the blood in my checks. He lifted the blanket again and I watched his eyes slowly work their way lower down my body, admiring the work he’d done on it. I noticed the flash of vibrancy when his gaze reached my flaccid penis and I shivered in yearning. But I wanted to heal up a bit before throwing myself at him again. Something in his expression changed, confusion and worry clouding his sight before he turned to shut off the camera again. “What?” I questioned as I looked down at myself to see what had him alarmed but I didn’t see anything. He flicked the blanket away from me to expose my body to the open air before he moved farther down the bed in order to get a better look at my nether regions. He sat next to my knees and pushed one aside to spread my legs so I widened them farther even if I was a little hesitant. 

His fingers lightly traced over the sore skin from my inner thighs to the lowest part of my ass cheeks and I could tell from the sting of his touch that it was as bruised as I knew it would be. He probably didn’t think he was being so rough with me again, lost in his own excitement and I suffered the consequences for it. His deep orange eyes looked regretful. 

“Hey.” I called to get his attention, forcing myself to sit up in order to cup his face in my hand. “I’m fine.” I told him as I put on a flirty smile accompanied by a small shrug. “I’m a masochist, remember?” that got his smirk to return with a slight shake of his head. He kissed me and I opened my mouth to him, accepting his tongue as he pushed me back to lay over me. I inwardly cringed at the sudden movement but wouldn’t let it show. Once the kiss ended, I smiled up at the blond man again. “Besides you said you were gonna take care of me.” I reminded him and he rolled his eyes but sat up. 

“And I will.” he reaffirmed before he slid from the bed and surprisingly went into my bathroom. I watched him as he searched for a washcloth, running it under water then wringing it out, and then he returned to me. He got onto the bed to sit between my legs and I complied with spreading them so he could easily use the damp cloth to clean the mess he’d left of me. I was planning on taking a shower at some point today and cleaning myself but I wasn’t going to argue this. I was getting a little anxious thinking about him possibly trying to start something, I wasn’t ready but I’m not sure I’d want to say no. Though it only took Wesker’s prodding as he… thoroughly cleaned me for me to decide that I would deny any advance, it hurt too much to even think about going again. 

Luckily he kept his actions purely of the caring variety rather than moving into the sexual. Eventually he finished his task and moved off of the bed, grabbing the blanket to cover me back up so he could once again turn on the camera. But he stopped himself just short of pressing the button and looked at me seriously like he was trying to figure something out. Before I could ask him what was wrong, he turned to lean over the bed and… he kissed the top of my head. It was quick and then he was gone but it was tender and sweet and entirely for me- I knew he wouldn’t do that while the cameras were on us. My face heated up a touch even as a wide smile spread on my lips at the almost romantic gesture but I didn’t call him on it so that he would hopefully do it again some other time. He did press the camera button this time before leaving my room to go make my food. 

… … … 

I woke up again to Wesker calling my name, his fingers trailing comfortably over my torso. He was sitting at my side, his eyes taking in the bruised marks he’d left all over my skin. He didn’t seem regretful of these ones so why was he worried over the bruises he’d left on my legs? 

“Like what you see?” I asked through a yawn before Wesker leaned over me, capturing my lips as my palm touched his bare chest only to slide up and around his neck when I could reach. At least until his hand slipped under the blanket which he had already pushed down to my waist. I continued to return his kiss but used my free hand to grab his wrist before he could grab my dick. 

“Very much so.” his breath carried the words over my lips before he sat up but not far enough that my hand fell away from his neck. Though he didn’t fight against my hold, he didn’t retract his hand either. I spared the camera a quick glance to notice the red light was still on. 

“You didn’t even turn off the camera.” I accused which made him smirk, his orange eyes narrowing playfully. 

“So I can touch you if I turn it off?” he challenged me, his sultry eyes daring me to accept and I blushed because I wanted to say yes but I was still hurting too much all over to consider adding onto it. I pressed my lips into a tight line to refrain from saying anything and turned my head away. He chuckled but took his hand away from my groin. “I have your food.” he stated as he reached to grab the plate he’d set down to wake me up. I think we both became aware of the familiarity of this situation at the same time because just as I was thinking about it, he smirked at me with a knowing look. “Is this a repeat situation?” I still refused to say anything but my silence was answer enough. “How did you manage to hurt yourself with that little thing?” he motioned toward the bathroom where my dildo was safely hidden away under the sink with everything else. 

“It was my first time and I…” I groaned and rubbed at my eyes to rid them of sleep. “I got a little excited.” I finished as I slowly sat up more so I could eat but Wesker didn’t hand over my food. 

“What got you so excited?” he pressed and I glowered at him. 

“I wonder.” I shot back, half teasing and half serious to get him to leave me alone about it. I hadn’t wanted him to know about that but of course my luck had other plans. I reached for the plate the blond held but he moved it farther away with an expectant gaze. “You already know.” I countered his look but it persisted so I rolled my eyes. 

“I want you to say it.” he instructed and settled to wait me out. I could be pretty stubborn most days but I knew he was more patient than I was stubborn and I was hungry. 

“Maybe it was thoughts of the person I was doing it for.” I sighed and we stared each other down some more, him wanting more than I was giving and me wanting to be done with the conversation. “...doing it to me.” I added petulantly while trying to ignore the heat in my face. I knew he was at least satisfied with that from the smirk he wore. Why did he always get what he wanted? The bastard. “Can I eat now?” I demanded so he finally handed over my food. 

“I can feed you again.” he offered teasingly but I just rolled my eyes at him as I took the first bite. Wesker left me to eat while he cleaned up the kitchen so I scrolled through the messages Jill had left for me about what information they had gotten from Irving. Overall it wasn’t much, the main focus had been any whispers of planned attacks of which he hadn’t heard of anything serious coming. We did get a lead on an older though minor incident so some agents were pursuing that. Though… from what he was saying about ‘the project’ Wesker had told them to mention, it seemed like that might be something big on the table… great. Luckily Wesker was stuck in here so that would hopefully have to put a major dent in the plans. I wanted to be angrier at him than I was but whatever it was had to be in his phone so he was letting us put a stop to it. So I could be mad over him doing evil shit but it balanced out with him offering to have it ended. Unfortunately there wasn’t much else he would reveal about ‘the project’ claiming it all to be strictly need to know and they didn’t need to know if Wesker hadn’t told them himself. 

As Jill had already said, he made mention of a ‘boss bitch’ that seemed to be working as Wesker’s partner in ‘the project’ although… I guess I kind of already knew that. He told me about a woman that had her eye on him and he wasn’t stopping it because he said she served a purpose so he couldn’t get rid of her yet. Someone putting unwanted moves on Wesker… what exactly did that look like for even him to be annoyed over it? Did I really want to know? I wasn’t usually the jealous type but I felt the burning need to know all about what had happened between the two. Maybe it was best if I didn’t ask though. It wasn’t like it mattered anyway, I knew Wesker wasn’t interested in her… but still, I felt like I needed something to be done about it. But what could I do? I didn’t even know who she was… I knew she was bad, she was working with Wesker on whatever this project was… once I had her name and what company she worked for, I’d make sure I was with the team that went to apprehend her. Why? What did I expect to be able to do? I would figure it out later. 

“Would you like help taking a shower?” Wesker asked as he entered my room to get my now empty plate so he could wash it. I hesitated to answer, I did want to clean myself- the sweat had long since dried on my body and I felt gross but I also really didn’t want to get up yet, maybe in a few more hours. 

“Um… maybe just a little longer before I get up.” I said as I slid down my mattress to lay back down. He simply nodded and left with my plate in hand though he was walking back in a minute later with the cop novel we’d yet to finish. I smiled at him in appreciation as he crawled under the blanket with me, sitting up against my headboard. I pushed myself closer to him so I could lay my head onto his lap before he started reading. 

~~~ 

Caught 

He didn’t think I noticed. Did he believe me so unknowing of my surroundings that I wouldn’t feel his persistent gaze on me? A few of us were in the showers after training, those of us that still had hours left in our shift and didn’t want to wait until we were home to be clean. I was familiar with some of the faces in the shower area and others I wasn’t though I didn’t bother to really look around. I was there to quickly shower and get back to work. 

I had already known I would find Chris in here as I heard him telling Joseph he was going to shower before catching up with him back in the office. I thought he should have at least been in the shower by now as I had to take an important call right after training so I was behind him getting here. But he was still standing around the lockers, only half undressed, chatting with an officer from another department that was dressing to leave. I wouldn’t say anything about it for now but if he continued to dawdle I’d have to scold him. When he saw me enter, he rushed to wrap up his conversation to get back to what he was supposed to be doing. 

It was as I was undressing at the lockers that I first felt a lingering gaze on me but I ignored it as it wasn’t uncommon for men to steal peeks at each other in these situations. I was far from self conscious of my body and I didn’t care if someone was actively trying to see my penis to make comparisons as some did in the locker room. I didn’t care about any of that, I was just here for a quick shower. But the feeling of being watched remained, crossing the line from socially acceptable curiosity to something more. Now I was curious to know which of the men in the room was looking at me in such a way though I was sure I had a pretty good idea who the invasive gaze belonged to. If I was correct, perhaps he was just trying to get another look at my eyes since he’d seemed so entranced by them before but I knew better than that. 

I waited until I was entirely nude when I knew he’d be sure to be looking to subtly turn to him and as I thought, his eyes were not on my face but much lower. Still taking his time, he was still wearing his pants though they were unfastened and he was fidgeting with the button as if pretending to be busy. In his idle staring at my exposed groin, it took my pointman three whole seconds to notice I had caught his gaze but oddly rather than quickly look away as I had expected he now stared into my equally exposed eyes. Although he turned a lovely shade of red, it wasn’t until I cleared my throat that he finally swiftly turned his head away from me. 

Of course as soon as I turned my back to him in order to walk naked into the shower area, I felt Chris’s eyes on me once again to enjoy the show. It wasn’t until I was in a shower stall with the curtain drawn that I didn’t have to worry about him seeing me anymore. Did he really think I wouldn’t notice when he so blatantly ogled me like that? I was made aware of his attraction to me more and more through his body language and his ever constant gawking. Admittedly it had taken me much longer to notice than if he were a woman simply because it was much less expected. But once the thought had emerged, it was easy to see. I wouldn’t do anything about it, I didn’t care for the taboo of being sexually attracted to someone of the same gender. Besides if he did ‘play for the other team’ it was understandable for him to find me attractive above all others so I couldn’t fault Chris for wanting to take in what he could. I would find it flattering if I wasn’t above such carnal desires, I found it all unnecessary regardless of gender. 

When I washed myself and stepped out, most of the others in the room had left and Chris was still showering. I dried myself and began to dress, taking notice when the marksman stepped out of his stall though he had a towel securely wrapped around his waist. Seeing that I was looking at him, he very intentionally avoided looking anywhere near me even though he was using a locker only a few spaces from mine. I finished dressing as he began, sitting on the bench to put my boots on though I stopped after finishing tying the first. Chris had his underwear and pants on but was taking a moment to dry his short hair better than he had before. I watched as the muscles in his back shifted with the rapid movement of his arms, his shoulder blades moving in turn as his hands worked the towel over his head. Of course I’d noticed his excellent physique before, I had for all members of my team though some could use more work. Obviously I’d not seen much of Jill’s bare body though I’d seen enough to know she was acceptably fit from the tube top and mini skirt I’d seen her in once when I happened to encounter her outside of work. 

Perhaps he finally sensed my intent gaze because he stopped what he was doing to turn and look behind him. I refused to act as though I wasn’t watching him and he couldn’t complain with how often he stared at me especially while I was unclothed. I was the only one there and he met my eye as much as he could with my sunglasses already in place. But it didn’t last. He forced himself forward once more, now holding tightly onto the door of his locker and I noticed I couldn’t hear his breathing anymore. I smirked to myself and tied the laces of my other boot before leaving the room, catching my pointman’s nervous exhale before the door closed behind me.

Chapter Text

I slouched lower into the mattress as I pulled my blanket over my head, a loud and miserable groan wheezing past my lips. Wesker chuckled over my actions but kept reading 'Caught'. I couldn’t believe this was one of the things he was writing to me. God this was embarrassing! He knew! He already said he was aware of my attraction though not my feelings- but he caught me staring back then and knew I was checking him out! I still clearly remember that day and it scared the shit out of me- I thought I was going to get fired! 

“Does this not come as good news?” Wesker asked though I still heard the chuckle in his voice over my embarrassment. 

“No!” I shouted from my hiding place. “I thought you were mad at me!” I covered my face with my hands even though he couldn’t see me from under the blanket anyway. “I was terrified to go into work for a week!” when he started outright laughing I realized this was entirely on purpose to get a reaction out of me. The bastard . 

“If I recall correctly,” he only said that for dramatic effect because of course he did. “that was a rather peaceful week.” I groaned to myself again and tried to ignore his teasing tone. Of course I would look, the guy I was interested in was striping right next to me- how could I not steal a peek… or two… or just stare? And now that I was thinking about this… about Wesker’s naked body… about his fantastic dick that I now knew could bring me such amazing pleasure… how could I not stare now too? Having sunken low beneath the blanket from my position where I’d been sitting up next to Wesker, my face was now so close to the blond’s groin that it was impossible not to notice. Desire filled me again, it’d been a while since I’d seen it and I found myself almost jealous of his pants for getting to touch him while I wasn’t. 

He helped me into the shower late last night, offering to get in with me but I turned it down. Walking ignited pain in my spine though I was able to keep it in check so Wesker didn’t see it. I just wanted to be clean and I wanted to do it on my own without him worrying over the pain he caused since I thought it was well worth it for what other feelings he caused me. I also didn’t want to try to keep any dirty thoughts out of mind with Wesker’s wandering hands as he no doubt would have insisted on washing me… and he would intentionally be oh so thorough and it would push my body closer to him. Even with this pain, I still wanted him again. I wanted more of the intense pleasure he delivered that drove me into senselessness. But I knew my body desperately needed to heal before it would be able to take him again. So I showered alone. 

But now, after a warm shower and some more sleep, I was feeling better already. So staring at the fabric covering my love interest’s very desired cock was driving me crazy. I wanted it and I already knew it was mine for the taking. I was already close to him so it was easy to turn a little to rest my head on Wesker’s abdomen as my hand teasingly slid from his knee up to the crotch of his pants. I didn’t wait for a reaction as I added some pressure and rubbed my fingers up and down the softened length I felt through the fabric. More light invaded the darkened space under the blanket as Wesker lifted it to be able to see me. I didn’t turn to look back at him, choosing to focus on what I was doing instead. One hand held the blanket up while the other… I shivered when I felt his fingertips lightly scratching up my spine before settling into my hair. He hummed in thought before his grip suddenly tightened but before I could react to that he forced my head lower until my mouth and nose pressed into the fabric just over his dick. I could feel him twitch in excitement against my lips and I wanted so badly to remove the barrier between his skin and my waiting mouth. 

“I’m sure you weren’t in the right state of mind last night to recognize the passage of time,” he started with an amused chuckle. “but you lasted quite some time Chris.” he rolled his hips, pressing his dick to my lips even more and I couldn’t help opening my mouth to him even though all I got for it was the taste of cotton on my tongue. Then I was jerked away from him, my scalp objecting to the harsh treatment though I didn’t vocalize the protest. He turned my head so I was looking up at him now, his expression lustful but taunting. “Even so, I drove you to climax nearly twice more before I finished.” I gulped at the predatory gaze he was watching me with. “If you choose to start this, are you certain you can finish it without letting me take you?” his voice was only a whisper by the time he was done talking and even though his tone carried condescension I could tell he was purposely enticing me to continue. He wanted my mouth as much as I wanted to give it to him… but he was right. His endurance was as inhuman as the rest of him plus I’d never done this so I wasn’t confident I’d be skilled enough to get him off with just my mouth and hands since sex was off the table for today. I wanted to accept the challenge and try anyway but I didn’t want to tire myself out and leave him hanging. 

“That’s not fair Wesker.” I whined to him even as I moved my hand away from his groin. I noticed the flicker of disappointment in his eyes that I was making the reasonable choice of not starting this right now but it was gone a moment later to be replaced with a knowing smirk. 

“I don’t play fair when what I want is at stake.” he told me with those predatory eyes flashing at me which was even less fair. We still wanted each other so badly but he’d been far too rough with me that not even playing around was much of an option for me right now… my back should at least be feeling better by tomorrow. That would mean I would get to do more with him even if sex was still going to take a little longer. 

“Maybe if you didn’t go so hard-” 

“I can’t help it Chris.” he sighed and leaned his head back against the wall. He released me so I carefully sat up again next to him, looking over his face while he closed his eyes and seemed to be thinking. I’d never heard him say something like that, he always had control of everything and kept calm in any situation no matter how dire. “For all the careful control I maintain my life with, I lost it having sex with you.” he turned his head to look at me, his half lidded eyes glowing a deep orange as they trailed the span of my bare torso. “I can not express how perfect it feels to be inside of you.” his eyes returned to mine and he smiled before reaching up to touch my cheek. “How could I not desire more?” I felt the blood rush into my cheeks but returned his smile, happy over the wholesome way he talked about how he wanted me. I really enjoyed the sexual way he talked about how he wanted me too but this was different, sensual and nice. I raised a hand to his toned chest and leaned my head to rest on his, closing my eyes and slowly breathing in his air. 

“I’m happy.” was all I said because just that meant so much. It felt like ever since STARS was killed and disbanded, ever since I lost the city that I made my home, since I lost the only person I was sure I was in love with… I’ve felt like I’ve been stuck in a never ending loop of war and death. Sure I moved forward, I accomplished a lot and saved the world but every step I took only brought more pain and loss. I wasn’t the same man, forever changed by the terrors this world had to offer because it was my job to look into the darkness and hold back the monsters that tried to snuff out the light we fought to protect. You can’t spend your life fighting the darkness without it infecting you in some way or another. When was the last time I played a prank on someone? When was the last time I went to the bar just to hang out with friends rather than to try and forget the things I saw? When was the last time I didn’t have to worry about being called away for a mission at a moment’s notice? When was the last time I did anything just because I wanted to? 

Here I didn’t have to worry about any of that, and yes, that was kind of extremely off putting because I was so used to being busy but it wasn’t bad. I didn’t have to worry about having to be called out, I didn’t have to think about who else I would lose, I didn’t have to think about the terrible things that are probably happening where I couldn’t see, and I didn’t have to fear what Wesker was getting up to. I’ve been smiling more here than I have in a long time and though I was afraid of what could come next, that was still some time away. I wanted to continue to enjoy this warmth in my chest and this smile I’d forgotten I had while I could. I didn’t have to worry about the fight, the war was outside and I was safe in here… safe with Wesker who made me smile so genuinely. I was happy now, unaware I was so unhappy before. 

When I opened my eyes again to look into his, they dimly shone a vibrant yellow and I bit my lip to keep myself steady against the sight of them. Sitting here with me in this calm undisturbed space where the outside didn’t matter, where it didn’t matter that I was a good guy and he was a bad guy… he was happy too. Wesker was happy to be with me. 

“Would you-” 

“Shhh.” I whispered in the small space between our mouths to quiet whatever he was going to say. This was too precious of a moment to let words ruin. But of course that only irritated him, I could tell by the darkening of the yellow hue in Wesker’s eyes but he at least listened and let me cherish the moment. I was satisfied with it by the time his eyes returned to their idle orange shade when he was around me. Unfortunately when they went yellow, they didn’t stay that way long but I guess that helped to keep the times they did more special. I moved my head away from his to let him know I was finished so he slid away from me and off the bed before I could object to him leaving me. 

“I’m not sure about you but I’m hungry.” he stated with a smirk, an intentional recollection of all the times I used food as an excuse to get away from him. I rolled my eyes at him before he slipped from my room, my glaze quickly shifting to roam over his still bare torso as he went. Even after showering and changing his clothes, he hadn’t worn a shirt since we had sex and I liked it. I hadn’t either, I’ve just been in bed anyway and I liked Wesker’s wandering touch on my skin as he laid with me. I let myself slowly fall sideways so I was laying over where the blond was just sitting, enjoying the warmth that lingered from his body. I lay there for a while before I got up, it had been some time since I was last on my feet and I was feeling restless without Wesker in here with me. 

Standing wasn’t any more straining on me than sitting which was good progress… maybe then- stop, Chris, stop. We just had sex for our first time, we didn’t need to do it again so soon. If I pushed it we would only have to wait again. I put on a fresh shirt and prodded at some of the visible marks that I knew the fabric wouldn’t hide. Not much point to that anyway, the cameras already saw most of them… the ones not too intimate to show anyway. Stepping out of my room, I smelled meat cooking and felt my stomach rumble in hunger. Wesker’s eyes scanned me for a moment from the corner of his eye as I approached before he set down the spatula in his hand. I was about to ask what he was cooking when he turned to me, gripping the bottom hem of my shirt and quickly lifting it over my head. 

“Wha- hey- Wesker!” I tried to object and get my arms down in order to keep my shirt on but he already had them up and he was faster than I was. He held my shirt in one hand and smirked down at me though his eyes went back to exploring my now exposed torso, verifying the existence of each mark he left on me- again. You’d think he’d have looked enough… though I guess I still checked him out whenever I could so I didn’t really have room to talk. I made a grab for my shirt but he moved it away before I could get my fingers around it. I scowled at him as he held it above his head, his gaze daring me to make another attempt. “You know I could just go get another one, right?” 

“I would strip that one off of you as well.” Wesker shot back with a challenging tone that made me genuinely wonder if he would destroy my clothes to keep me from wearing them. Still holding my stolen shirt above his head, he used his other to gently grip my side and urge me closer to him. I tried to make another quick grab for it now that I was closer though the sudden movement hurt a bit and I still didn’t get it- and Wesker laughed at me. I huffed and glowered at him some more before slowly forcing a nice smile onto my lips and leaning in to kiss him. Confident in his ability to keep me from getting to my shirt, he allowed his eyes to close as I got close enough but I didn’t kiss him. I punched him hard in the side, my fist making unguarded contact with his ribs. I was rewarded when he grunted in pain and cringed, leaning forward just enough for me to snatch my shirt from him. 

“ That is why I did this.” I said with a proud grin as I motioned briefly to my body before quickly putting my shirt back on so he couldn’t take it away again. I was extremely proud that I could hurt him, I mean it was still nowhere near the reaction I would have gotten from a normal person but it was something. Wesker glared at me now, his fingers tight on my side as he dragged me flush up against him… the smirk he wore was dangerous and challenging… and so attractive. I shivered at the sight of those predatory glowing orange eyes set on me like he wanted nothing more than to devour me right then and there. 

My body heated up and we both moved at the same time, our lips crashing together as my arms wrapped around his bare back. His tongue attacked everything it could reach in my mouth and I swore he was trying to suffocate me with how deep he was trying to get. Suddenly my feet were off the ground as Wesker lifted me onto the counter, his chest remaining pressed to mine. Being set down kind of aggressively irritated the large bruises covering my lower body but I paid them no mind, caring only about keeping Wesker’s mouth on mine. He let me keep my shirt though his hands traveled under it to touch my skin, one hand raising to play with one of my nipples. I tried to pull out of the kiss to take a breath since I felt like I wasn’t getting enough air through my nose and my head was spinning but Wesker wouldn’t let me go, keeping my mouth on his with a firm hand at the back of my head. After a moment of struggling with him, I finally got my hand on his chin and forced his face from mine. I sat there gasping for a second while glaring at him for intentionally not letting me breathe and he just smirked back at me knowingly. 

“What was that for?” I questioned when I was done sucking in air. 

“I’m not allowed to choke you.” he stated as if that explained everything and somehow it did. Since he couldn’t do that while the cameras were watching us, he was finding another way to deprive me of air since he knew I liked it. But I didn’t like that, it wasn’t the lack of air that turned me on, it was his touch- the feeling of his hand carefully compressing my airway just enough to put my body on alert and heighten the other sensations he gave me. I blushed as I came to the realization that I really wanted him to do that to me again. But it rightly freaked everyone else out and there was no way I was going to try to justify my reasoning for enjoying the hurt Wesker put on me. I wasn’t about to even think of trying to explain it to anyone. I’d just have to get him to do it later while the cameras were off. “You’re blushing.” the blond asshole pointed out with that predatory grin. I didn’t answer, just turned my head away from him then he licked my cheek as if he could taste the blood that rushed under the skin. “Do you want me to choke you?” his smooth voice nearly purred so close to my ear now. I shivered as his hot breath rolled over me but still didn’t answer so he pinched my nipple hard enough to make me flinch. 

“Yes.” I finally responded to get him to stop though honestly I wouldn’t have been opposed to the rough treatment continuing. His lips found mine again and I didn’t fight him this time since it wasn’t so aggressive that I couldn’t breathe properly. His hand left the inside of my shirt and traveled up my body just as the hand on the back of my head moved down to meet it at my throat. His fingers traced the lines in my skin for a moment before circling around my neck, applying light pressure to both sides to avoid actually hurting me by pressing into the front of my throat. It was enough to get me excited, my dick was already hardening in anticipation, but it wasn’t enough to get my body working into overdrive and it was gone too soon. His hands moved up to my face, cupping my still warm cheeks as he continued to kiss me. Then he broke the kiss to rest his forehead to mine with a smile on his lips. 

“Later.” he promised though his voice had lost the lustful tone, now it was playful and mischievous. I groaned in longing, unable to communicate how much I wanted more of him right now. He tilted his head to capture my lips again in a chaste kiss before he turned away from me, returning his attention to the food he had been making that I completely forgot about. I’m sure I’ve stated that I’m not usually a jealous person… but I really hated that food right now and I couldn’t wait to eat it so it wouldn’t exist anymore. 

… … … 

It was as I was eating dinner later on that Jill texted me. Wesker and I had spent a good portion of the day with him reading aloud to me as I tried again to figure out the handheld puzzle games. Now we were both sitting at the table, I was eating and scrolling through the news for anything interesting and Wesker was going through the last of his textbooks. He could have done that at his desk or on the couch but he was sitting here with me instead and I enjoyed the reminder that he preferred to spend his time with me even if we weren’t directly interacting right now. I checked the time on my phone since my watch had been removed at some point yesterday and I didn’t even know where it was now, to see that she was just starting her shift. I waved in greeting at a camera, at my best friend, before responding to her message. 

Jill: Okay I’ve been facing questions about you two and since you’ve been so obvious about things I’m guessing it’s fine for it to be public knowledge so I’ve been trying to settle any fires
Chris: I appreciate you
Jill: Kiss my ass after things settle down and then you owe me
Jill: I don’t know why no one is bothering you about it
Jill: Not like you’re doing anything else in there
Jill: Except Wesker 

I blushed fiercely at my best friend’s direct accusation and covered my face with one hand though I kept two of my fingers spread so I could see through them to my phone. I noticed Wesker smirking knowingly at me, probably accurately guessing the subject that had come up. 

“Shut up.” I told him sourly and he took a forkful of my food to show that he wasn’t going to say anything though that damn smug smirk never left his face. 

Chris: What do you want me to do about it
Jill: Answer a question I couldn’t be sure of
Chris: Okay
Jill: Is Wesker contagious 

The question took me aback and my mind spun with questions of my own… and then realization and worry set in. But I denied it. He couldn’t be- I was fine. 

“Chris?” 

Chris: Of course not
Jill: Have you asked 

No, I hadn’t. It never even crossed my mind and it’s not like Wesker brought it up either- he was smart and would’ve considered that before doing anything with me… right? Wesker was infected with an unknown prototype virus that was given to the top thirteen candidates of Project W and it had horrifically killed all but two. Was it contagious? If it was, something would have already happened to me though, right? I dropped my phone onto the table and folded my arms as I stared down at it in thought. 

“Chris?” we had kissed and made out long before we had sex so if the virus was going to jump to me and do something, it would have had plenty of time to react to my body… or force my body to react to it. The thought was a horrible one I didn’t want to entertain. “Chris.” Wesker’s hand turning my head so I would look at him drew my attention to his demanding tone as he called my name. His eyes were a concerned muddy orange though his eyebrows were turned down as if he were angry, if he was wearing his sunglasses I would have thought he was glaring at me. Those glasses really did hide his all too expressive eyes so no one could tell how he was feeling. 

“Are you contagious?” I asked hardly, my tone boarding on accusatory. He watched me for a moment, putting together the pieces of my reaction and sudden mood change. He released me so he could lean back in his chair as he folded his arms, his head tilting up to the ceiling. Him needing to think about it made me nervous. 

“Good question.” he stated before sitting up again as his gaze shifted back to the textbook in front of him. A full ten seconds of stunned silence passed me by as I waited for more from him but his eyes just scanned the page as he read. 

“That’s it?” I demanded, my voice louder than I thought it should have been in the tense silence and Wesker’s orange eyes slid over to me again. 

“It’s not as if I’ve ever tested it nor have I been close enough to anyone to have casually found out if the virus is communicable or not.” he explained without worry and that pissed me off more. 

“Why didn’t you think about this before we had sex?” 

“You’re not infected Chris.” he spoke with such an endearing tone that it threw me off. It was then that I realized I’d failed to notice the shift in his expression. His head was tilted slightly to the side and one eyebrow was raised as if to question how I could be so dumb though the small smile he wore spoke of a fondness that suggested he wouldn’t have me any other way. He did think about it. Of course he did, this was Albert Wesker we were talking about. Which meant he was messing with me. I let out a long exhale as I settled myself down, leaning back in my chair from the stiff posture I had taken in my worry. 

“You’re an asshole.” I informed him with the utmost sincerity but it only made his smile grow. “How do you know if you’ve never tested it?” 

“Similar to other viruses of this type, it would be transmitted via bodily fluids such as how a zombie’s bite creates an open wound for the saliva which carries the T-virus to enter the victim’s bloodstream and infect them. If you were to become infected, it would have happened the first time we kissed.” he explained and I listened. “From what Alex told me happened to the others, the virus we injected is very aggressive and very selective so if it was communicable your body would have reacted to it immediately and very violently. Just like the other Project W candidates, you would be dead by now, one way or another.” I nodded along with his words now, understanding what he was telling me and it was as I originally thought. 

“One way or another, huh?” I questioned though I knew what he meant. Either the virus would have killed me or Wesker would have killed me if I mutated. I wasn’t mad about that, I was glad. It was the only thing to do at that point and I’m glad he would put me out of my misery rather than keep me around to continue existing as some kind of monster. But still… I was still grumpy over him messing with me. He didn’t respond to the bait, even seemed amused by it. 

“ You kissed me Chris.” he reminded me and I crossed my arms over my chest defensively. “I wasn’t expecting to ever get this far with you. The mere thought of being sexual with you hadn’t occurred to me until after we were in here for some time and we began to get closer.” I blushed at the implication that Wesker realized his emotional desire for me before he felt sexual desire for me. It was almost sweet, it made me smile and forgive him for letting me briefly think I might have been infected with his virus. Now content, I picked my phone back up. 

Chris: He’s not
Chris: Everything’s fine 

~~~ 

Death 

Everything was going just as I’d planned. Jill was locked up, Barry was keeping watch over her, Brad was still refusing to return for the team, Chris was on his way to this lab, and everyone else was dead. Well, nearly everyone. That irritatingly persistent Bravo member rookie was with my pointman, her presence may ruin the encounter I wanted with the man I chose to witness my death. It wasn’t of consequence however, she would be easy enough to deal with once they arrived. I checked the camera again, noticing they were almost here but I still wasn’t quite done with the data transfer. I couldn’t speed up the process and I couldn’t really stall Chris’s arrival… I would have to leave it to run on its own and hope no damage came to the console while I was unconscious. Even having come to that conclusion, I was still frustrated when I heard the mechanical door to the lab slide open to allow jogging footsteps nearer to me. My time was up. 

“Wesker!” Chris’s voice called to me though I couldn’t give him my full attention just yet, I only needed to stall long enough to set the rest of the data to download on its own. 

“So you’ve come.” I stated conversationally. “Chris you make me proud, of course you are one of my men.” I spoke truthfully, he always did impress me and I had no doubt that he would survive to make it this far- he even saved two Bravo team members, even if one fell later anyway. 

“Thanks.” he scoffed sarcastically and while it was a tone I had heard before, it pissed me off to hear it now in this context. With the transfer running independently now, I was free to turn my gun on my ungrateful subordinate. I noticed Rebecca flinch at my turn but of course Chris didn’t, he was trained better than to flinch just from having a gun pointed at him. In fact, he almost seemed to expect this. Curious, I was sure he would have found some traces of me in all this but I wonder how much information he managed to find since Barry was supposed to be destroying everything linking to me. “Since when Wesker?” he asked me with a lonely tone. I smirked at him, a dangerous sight I’m sure but I can’t deny I was having fun finally getting to expose myself to him. 

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I teased and enjoyed the way his face hardened again in anger, an expression I’d only seen him train on suspects. 

“Since when have they been slipping you a paycheck?” my pointman shouted. Did he believe this was all just about money? Did he not know how far back my history with Umbrella went? Perhaps he hadn’t found as much as I thought… then why was he looking at me with the level of intensity as he was? 

“I think you’re a bit confused.” I informed him as I finally stepped away from the console to get closer to Chris, keeping my gun in his face though he still didn’t seem afraid. Good, I was proud he was keeping his head even when faced with his trusted captain’s betrayal. “I’ve always been with Umbrella. STARS were Umbrella’s, no…” I refused to give the credit of what STARS had become to the sinking ship that was Umbrella. STARS may have been Umbrella funded but it was my hand that shaped them. “rather, my little piggies.” Chris scowled at the implication that they were nothing but mere playthings to me. “The Tyrant Virus leaked, polluting this whole place and unfortunately I had to give up my lovely members of STARS.” at my words, his glare filled with more hurt as a bit more of the depth of my betrayal was revealed to him. Of course he didn’t understand the sincerity of my words either. I put a great deal of time and effort into STARS, I took pride in our work and in each member I built up to be the best, enough so that I had even gone out of my way to give them a chance of survival. But Chris didn’t understand that I hadn’t wanted this outcome either. That was rather the point, no one was to know anything. And he never would understand, if I was to remain ‘dead’ it was for the best if Chris believed I was just some traitor that had it coming. I needed them to accept my death in order to disappear from the minds of all. 

A moment later Chris’s pain turned to rage as he put more of the pieces together, learning that I had knowingly brought them here to die. He raised an arm to thrust an accusing finger at me, his hand awfully close to my handgun so I prepared myself for the possibility of him trying to attack. 

“You… killed them- with your own dirty hands! You son of a bitch!” he yelled at me, his glare filled with a venom I hadn’t yet seen from him. Rebecca spoke up out of disbelief but I ignored her, in fact it was a reminder that she was even there and now ruining this moment. She didn’t know me, there was no deep emotional betrayal as far as she was concerned. If I wanted any extras in this scene I took time to so elaborately set up, I would have kept either Jill or Barry around. She was in the way although perhaps she could be of some use. 

“Oh yes, dear.” I replied to my pointman’s harsh accusation, leaving no doubt that I was in fact the monster he now saw me as. Maybe witnessing my death could even bring him some closure of sorts. “Just like this .” I continued just before I turned the gun to the rookie and pulled the trigger though I never took my gaze away from Chris’s face, I wanted to see every moment of his reaction. The gunshot was loud in the underground lab and the girl went down without so much as a scream, I wasn’t sure where I hit her but it must have made her death quick. That was good at least, I wouldn't want her slowly bleeding out and dragging her unwanted time here on longer than it already had. 

“Rebecca!” the brunet exclaimed as he turned to help her but I trained my weapon on him once again as I called to him. 

“Don’t move!” I ordered sharply and he obeyed like a good dog, freezing in place as he now understood that I wouldn’t hesitate to shoot him as well. I wouldn’t hurt him of course, that wasn’t a part of the plan. He had quite the fight ahead of him and I expected him to pull through to share the news of my ‘untimely demise’. He stared down at his fallen comrade for a long moment, reeling from the shock of actually witnessing the depths of my treachery. She was dead now so he didn’t need to waste any more time with her, not yet, not while I was still breathing. Against the mental preparations I’d been building up for this… my chest felt tight as I knew the time was drawing near. I’d never imagined I would ever be committing suicide even knowing I would be brought back stronger and better. Deep ocean blue eyes set onto me with an ill intended intensity that I found… quite thrilling. Who knew Chris’s hatred could be this fun? Although I wondered as to the reason his eyes were glossy with unfallen tears. I’d seen him under all manners of duress and so few times had I ever witnessed him cry even when things were at their worst, especially not while he was still in the fire. If he were to break down it would only be after this was all over and he was left to think back on all that had happened. So why was he near that point now while facing off against me? He hadn’t met Rebecca until this night so it wasn’t her death, I’d watched him in the face of death before and his composure never cracked like this so it had to be me. This betrayal ran so deeply I was making those steel nerves of his quiver- outstanding! 

“You…” he started but couldn’t bring himself to finish whatever it was he was going to say. His lip trembled and he bit down on it to steady himself though his arms shook with the tension of his tightly balled fists. His voice never wavered though, strong and full of an unbridled rage though he stood helpless to do much of anything at the moment. If I had ever gotten a hint of how amusing this could have been… well, I wasn’t regretting this turn of events as much now. I may have lost STARS but it was worth it for the feeling of raw adrenaline that Chris’s loathing gave to me. I wanted to make him hate me more, unfortunately I was out of time. Perhaps when we inevitably meet again we could play some more. 

“I don’t think you want to die just yet.” I said with a vague gesture towards the corpse of his coworker. “I have something that’s of some interest to you.” I took two slow steps back to the console, keeping my focus on Chris in case he tried anything in the brief moment I wasn’t watching him as my eyes flicked to the keyboard to ensure I pressed the correct keys. Still without looking away from my favorite member of STARS, I made a point of turning my head to appear as though I was looking over my shoulder toward the large tank that housed our greatest BOW to date. I watched Chris’s expression go from hatred to a satisfying blend of shock, disbelief, and fear as he took in the tyrant’s majesty. I wanted to pry into his head to understand what was running through it right now as he gazed upon the dangerous creature he would soon have to fight against. 

When the first sound of the liquid it was suspended in draining reached my ears, my body tensed though I forced control back over it to seem as though I was ignorant to what was about to happen. I didn’t want to look away from Chris, I wanted to focus on him. I was enjoying the whirlwind of emotions he was undergoing- that I put him through. Toying with him has always been entertaining in some form or another but this was something else and I wanted more of it. I didn’t want to face what I was about to go through but it was necessary. Whatever Chris did now was of no consequence to me, it would be done soon. I slowly lowered my weapon as I turned now to look over Tyrant again. My eyes had constantly traveled to the beast as I was completing my other tasks, I couldn’t seem to get it out of my head even though I wanted to. I couldn’t fully grasp what I was feeling as I watched the fluids drain until Tyrant was standing on its own two feet. I wasn’t afraid… I would never admit to being afraid. It was a pointless thing to feel because I would be reborn. 

“The ultimate lifeform, Tyrant.” I introduced even as the beating of its exposed heart echoed in my ears. I wondered if I would feel my own heart stop, if it would be messy, if it would be quick, how much I would suffer for this evolution, and what my last thoughts as a mere human might be. Then Christopher Redfield dared to laugh. I turned back to glare at the man that stood behind me and made a mockery of this work of beauty. For his sake he better have a look of sheer horror on his face. He did not, however… curiously he seemed dejected in some way, his expression a cross between sorrow and acceptance. He muttered something under his breath that I didn’t quite catch though I believe he called himself a fool. I didn’t understand the despair in his eyes even as he wore a slight smile of pity, his gaze coming off of the monstrous form of Tyrant to rest directly on me. 

“Wesker you’ve become senile.” his voice was low and accepting of some unknown fact he was coming to terms with. I wasn’t sure I liked this new look on him, it was unfamiliar. I had wanted to spend what little time I had left telling him a little of the work that went into Tyrant but not after that. I would offer no insight to the BOW due to his mocking outburst. 

“Chris you’ll never understand.” I told him with a regretful sigh as I carefully moved to stand directly in front of the tank. For some reason I was feeling a little disappointed now… because I wanted him to understand… but it was too late. “It’s magnificent.” I tilted my head up, refusing to look away from my own death as I spread my arms wide to display what I helped to create. I saw the twitch in its massive clawed arm as it was getting its body to respond to it’s commands after waking up. Then its arm reared back and for a moment the world froze as my impending death descended. My body did tense now and fear flooded my veins but I kept my body still, arms out of the way to prevent them from blocking any incoming damage. It would be better to heighten the likelihood of Tyrant hitting vital organs to kill me more efficiently. With any luck it’d be quick. My widened eyes followed the movement of the claws as they pierced through the reinforced glass of the tank… and then through my abdomen. 

“Wesker!” Chris screamed my name as my body was lifted into the air, gravity forcing me farther onto the tyrant’s arm. Blood spilled from the hole that had been made in my torso, more traveled up my throat until I was coughing it up onto myself. I wasn’t sure if I screamed but it was so painful. Nothing I had speculated even came close to what I was experiencing. I was still aware as my body was flung aside, my flesh tearing apart from the foreign object I was impaled on. Discarded and written off as dead but I wasn’t quite gone yet. I wasn’t sure how much more I had to endure but I internally pleaded for it to end. If this was the pain I had to undergo in death and healing was a painful process… what would I feel as the virus I injected minutes before Chris’s arrival mended my body and brought me back? I felt the creeping sensation of darkness in what remained of my vision, I felt the stiff joints of fingers reaching for me as death tried to claim me. But I wouldn’t go, I didn’t have to go… I didn’t want to go. This would not be a true death for I would be reborn. I wasn’t afraid. Chris was still here with me, he bore witness to my death… I thought I had chosen him simply because he was my favorite but knowing it was him here in my final moments was oddly something of a comfort. 

As my brain finally shut down and my body died, I found I had a final request for fate. A dying wish, as it were. 

I truly do wish for Chris to survive this night… I want to see him again.

Chapter Text

“Alright I’m going to bed.” I announced as I sat up from the comfortable position I’d been in laying on Wesker’s lap. It was late and though the couch was comfortable and I enjoyed laying on Wesker, it was even more comfortable in my own bed. I stretched my arms, noticing when the blond stood and made his way to his room only to come back with tonight’s letter. 

“I’m going to stay up in my room tonight.” he stated as I took the pages he offered me and looked them over. I admit I was a bit disappointed, I liked having him in bed with me but I understood he was most likely getting restless since he didn’t sleep every night like I did. 

“Okay.” I nodded and tried to keep a pout off my face, no need to give him something to tease me over. Then he turned and headed into his room, shutting the door behind him. I know we weren’t a real couple or anything and whatever was between us was new and still very much unknown… but I was expecting a good night kiss, I wanted one. I saw no reason he shouldn’t have given me one, he usually did. Good morning kisses, random kisses throughout the day, good night kisses. He was pretty wrapped up in that book though, maybe he was just too lost in thought over it or something and didn’t really think about it. I did pout now as I went into my own room and shut the door behind me. So he didn’t kiss me before we went to our own rooms, big deal, it didn’t mean anything. I was being childish for thinking about this so much. 

I sat at my desk as I read through ‘Death’ and… I almost couldn’t stomach finishing it. Wesker had been taking my advice and been working on telling a better story rather than just retelling events- there was actual feeling here. Fear and pain. I remembered that horrible night all too clearly. I was so angry over the evidence we found linking Wesker to every foul thing connected to Umbrella but I couldn’t accept any of it. I had idolized Wesker for as long as I had known him and I was so taken with him that I didn’t want it to be true. I was desperate for him to tell me anything else was the truth even if it was a lie. But then he pulled his gun on me… Wesker never was much for lying, he preferred clever half truths and misdirections. He once told me that to tell outright lies is to ensnare yourself in a web, too many lies made for too many confusing false realities to keep in check. It was best to mix in the truth to make the lie harder to detect. And the truth does hurt. He planned for all of us to die… he killed some of us in cold blood- I was right there when he shot Enrico! I was so hurt and pissed off but it wasn’t until he made me witness him shooting Rebecca, the girl I had worked so hard to protect all night, that hatred began to set in. 

Everything he did, everything he was… not quite a lie, but a deception. He played me- he played all of us for fools and we were blissfully unaware. I wasn’t going to be a fool again… but even then I can’t say I didn’t hope that somehow things could be different. It was the proud way he spoke of Tyrant that made me realize that Wesker… the man I believed I loved… was too far gone for me to reach. He had given himself to these monsters, believed them to be beautiful and worthy of praise when I only saw disgusting abominations. I couldn’t save someone like that… I mourned for him before he was even dead. 

I stared down at the paper sitting on my desk as I recounted all these things I hadn’t wanted to. I guess… after all this time I never thought that Wesker was afraid of dying because I didn’t know he had time to think about it. It was only the other day I found out he had planned his death and therefore did have time to think about what exactly dying would be like. Even after he told me I hadn’t thought much about it, I had other things on my mind once we got further into that conversation. But it made sense… everyone was afraid to die in some way or another, even someone like Wesker. I wasn’t sure if it was just wishful thinking but I got the impression that he was glad I was there with him as he died. I liked thinking that I somehow brought him some comfort in death, even if it was just a temporary one. 

Looking toward my closed bedroom door, I wished I could see Wesker through it. I replayed the way he acted as we parted for the night… maybe he wasn’t caught up in his book, maybe he just didn’t want to be around when I read this letter. It was by far the most personal one he’d written to me. It must have been hard for him to put these difficult feelings into words, harder yet to put them to paper, and even more so to actually hand over to me. If there was any sort of proof I needed to show the progression of trust between us, it was this letter. 

I left my room, determined as I crumpled the letter before dropping it into the metal trash can I picked up. I turned on the stove’s fan as I placed the bin under the vent, grabbing my lighter to set part of the paper on fire. I watched the small flame grow to eat more of the pages. I watched the delicate words of my now lover get devoured by the cleansing fire, wishing to burn away the fear they carried. I was happy to be trusted with the knowledge those words bestowed upon me but I didn’t like them existing. No one else would ever know my captain had any sort of vulnerability even if he had just been a man at the time. This was for me alone and now that I knew, this letter needed to cease existing so that no one else ever could. His thoughts and his feelings would exist only in me where I internally promised both to him and to myself that they would be safe. 

I stayed and watched until the fire burnt itself out with nothing left to devour and the only thing that remained of the letter was the bit of ash that joined the growing pile. I eyed the closed door that led to Wesker’s room as I waited for the smoke to fade away before turning off the vent’s fan. Moving the metal trash can back to its place on my way, I went into Wesker’s room but hesitated in the doorway. I watched his back as he wrote something in his notebook without at all acknowledging me. Did he even want to talk about it? Did he want me to make it clear that I understood what he was giving me? Or was me just knowing enough? Was it fine to leave all this unsaid? My arms were around him, my hands laying across his chest and my face in his shoulder. I wouldn’t say anything but I wanted to show him that I got his message. He trusted me. 

His writing paused and after a long moment, his left hand lifted to grab onto one of mine so I squeezed it to tell him I wasn’t going anywhere. Then he continued what he was doing and otherwise ignored me but I didn’t take offense, this was just all the comfort he was able to accept from me. I was just happy to be able to provide any at all and that he allowed it. 

… … … 

Too much pain… horrifying inhumane experiments, so many lost lives, needless bloodshed… what was the point of it all? What was gained with all this awful death? Why were there so many corrupt people that believed this was the best option? If there had to be death, if only it could be them dying rather than all the innocent people whose lives they destroyed. That would solve things, wouldn’t it? It wasn’t the best case where no one had to die but it was better that they wouldn’t be able to hurt others anymore. 

Waking up in Wesker’s bed with the man’s hand gently holding mine even through the vice grip I returned was nice but only made me more sad. Him sitting on the edge of the bed watching over me while I dreamed of death and misery was comforting but his very existence only reminded me that too often the bad guys got away. Whether they managed to go into hiding or there were legal complications… too many of them never faced justice for the terrible things they played a part in making happen. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked softly as his thumb rubbed soothingly across my skin. It was too hot, the fearful beating of my heart and the sweat on my skin made me uncomfortable, but I was still too groggy to want to do anything about it. Nightmares always left me feeling like I hadn’t slept at all and kept my mood sullen. I shook my head and rolled over to face the wall though I intentionally made room for the blond to lay with me if he wanted to, which apparently he did. He shifted himself to press into my back just so we would both fit on the small bed, needing me to lift my head so he could get his arm under it while the other wrapped around my stomach. He scooted himself a little higher up the mattress than me so his body was better shielding mine and his head could rest comfortably on top of mine. I moved one of my arms to lay over his across my stomach and he intertwined our fingers. Even for being so new to this, it was like we knew exactly how we fit together. 

Despite the evil things I knew Wesker to have done, even the evil things he’d done directly to me… I felt much safer here tucked into him than I ever had before in my life. I was so used to being a shield for everyone else- Claire, my friends, my teammates, my country, the world… everyone. I had to be strong for everyone else, it’s who I was and that reflected in the way I kept my body to fill that role. It’s a role I readily chose for myself but… it was so nice right now to be the one shielded and protected. If this is how I was able to make others feel, I was glad, but I had never known I was missing this for myself… and even with only these few moments of having it, I never wanted to be without this feeling again. 

We lay together in that comfortable silence for a long time as I settled down from my nightmare. It wasn’t anything extreme or unusual, every soldier had some from time to time and we learned to deal with them though I must say that I enjoyed this method much better than anything else I did. But even this safety didn’t stop the invasive thoughts that I’d been trying to push away for so long now. 

“I know you’re probably the wrong person to ask but do you think there’ll ever be a day that soldiers like me won’t be needed anymore?” I questioned, keeping my focus on the smooth skin of Wesker’s arm under my head. 

“No.” he answered simply and I sighed, already knowing that truth. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, or even wanting him to say but he was right, as always. “There will always be conflict, humans are too selfish and prideful for there to be any form of real peace.” the blond explained. 

“What about bioterrorism?” 

“Viruses and BOWs are only weapons in the human arsenal, they’re here to stay just as guns have been since their creation. Or do you expect people to stop using those as well?” he asked with a touch of twisted amusement in his tone that I ignored. I didn’t like that he was right about that too. While I disagreed with the comparison, I understood it and knew there were plenty out there that thought guns were just terrible killing machines. I’m sure that’s how Wesker viewed my opinion regarding the viruses and BOWs he made, where I saw monsters he saw evolution. “Are you still refusing to consider leaving the BSAA?” silence was my answer. I wanted to stop, I wanted to live a peaceful life but… what else would I do? I didn’t know anything but war. I can’t say that the BSAA wasn’t without corrupt individuals and bullshit red tape that sometimes stopped us from doing the right thing but at least the organization as a whole was still morally sound. But… I also couldn’t say I hadn’t thought a lot more about it after what happened while I was worried for Claire’s life. I was told I had a choice in this but when I decided I was done, even if it was just in the moment, I wasn’t allowed to leave. No one even bothered to call me to try to reason with me or even to make excuses. They just left me in my panic. 

“Even if I left the BSAA, I’d wind up working for another anti bioterrorist group. This fight is all I know, I wouldn’t know what else to do with myself if I wasn’t fighting.” I told him and he leaned over me a little to be able to look me in the face even if I didn’t turn my gaze to him, still pretending to be more interested in his fingers than our conversation. 

“You aren’t fighting now.” Wesker pointed out and I noticed how his fingers subtly tightened around mine. “How have you felt about that while being ‘stuck here with me’?” his choice of words deliberately repeated mine from the time I tried to get out which told me he was thinking about the way I was neglected as well. It was almost nice to know that he was upset about that on my behalf even though we both understood why I was now being forced to follow through with this. But it made me wonder if I really did have a choice to begin with. If I had tried to deny Wesker’s demands, would they have forced me down here anyway? I’d like to think not but that was the problem, I couldn’t be sure. That really watered the seeds of doubt that had already been planted in my mind and I could feel them growing. 

“It’s been… nice, I guess, I don’t know.” I huffed, upset with myself for struggling to find the words to describe how I felt about being here- upset that I didn’t really even understand my own feelings. I really enjoyed growing closer to Wesker like this but that was separate from why I was here. I still considered myself to be on a mission, it was that thought that kept me from going stir crazy. If I took that away and tried to think of this as some kind of a break… I wasn’t sure how I felt anymore. “On one hand, I’m not constantly worrying when I’ll get the call to deploy out into the next life threatening situation.” I started, now clutching onto Wesker’s arm as if it was a lifeline as I thought over all the horrors I’d seen that haunted both my sleeping and waking hours. “On the other hand, I’m stuck in this idle state and I feel like nothing I do has any meaning.” I turned my head into his arm as if by pressing myself into him as much as possible I could escape the dreaded feeling of uselessness. As much as I wanted to stop fighting, I had to fight to feel like something was actually being done about all the filth and danger the bad guys brought into the world to hurt innocent people. I couldn’t stop, if I did I would never have peace. 

“It sounds like you need the fight as much as it needs you.” Wesker stated calmly as his hand slid out from under mine to move from my stomach to rub my chest. I hadn’t even noticed I’d started to breathe heavier until he was soothing me back to ease. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t change how you fight.” those words… took a long time to sink in and for the first time since we’d been laying like this, I turned my head up to look at his deep orange eyes as he stared down at me with a saddened but serious expression. I couldn’t understand what he was talking about but something in his eyes spoke of some hidden meaning that I wasn’t comprehending and something else told me that I didn’t want to know. He opened his mouth again to continue speaking but I quickly pressed my hand to his lips to stop him. I was barely accepting that I wanted out of all this, I didn’t need any sort of suggestions from Albert Wesker of all people about how to make that happen. I wasn’t ready. 

I watched his expression shift from one of seriousness to one of near pity and I wonder what kind of fearful expression I must have had for him to look at me like that. My hand slowly fell away from his mouth only to be hesitantly replaced with my lips. My body moved on its own to roll into him so I was laying on my back which put the blond in a position more over me than before so I had to hold myself up to keep contact. Once I laid flat and tried to pull him down to me, I was surprised that he resisted. 

“Are you using this as a distraction?” he questioned and I tried to offer a smile. 

“Would that be wrong? I’d want to kiss you anyway so it’s more of a topic change.” I answered so he looked me over a moment longer before obligingly leaning down to kiss me again to show that he accepted that we were dropping the previous conversation and starting this wordless one. It didn’t take long for heat to mix into our innocent and tender kisses, tongues rolling over each other and hands beginning to wander. One of Wesker’s hands slipped under the blanket to caress my inner thigh so I moved my legs apart slightly to give him more access which he used to gently prod at where he knew to lay bruises. 

“How are you feeling?” he asked without moving his face away from me so I felt his lips forming the words against mine. His massaging fingertips still sparked soreness in the tender flesh but there was an underlying soothing feel about it too. My back didn’t hurt and my insides didn’t feel as messed up and raw anymore either. 

“Why are you so worried about those bruises but not any of the others?” I finally came out and asked after I’d been curious about it since the blond’s initial reaction to seeing them. 

“I intended to create the others, these ones were accidental and I don’t enjoy the reminder that I lost control of myself.” Wesker explained and I laughed softly with a shake of my head, my nose brushing against his with the motion. 

“Well I enjoyed it.” I informed him with a coy grin. “It means the sex was just that good.” 

“It truly was.” I inhaled the satisfied sound that escaped from his lips which just served to turn me on. “You haven’t answered my question.” 

“A little sore but a lot better than yesterday.” I told him honestly and hoped that maybe we could have sex today, much softer this time though. The idea sent shivers through my body and suddenly I was feeling really needy for the man I used to idolize. I cupped his cheek with my hand and kissed him more aggressively which I knew he’d take as a challenge and return the passion with eager enthusiasm. 

“If you’re still-” he started as he tried to pull away from our makeout but I silenced him with my lips again. I knew he was probably trying to issue the same warning from yesterday but I didn’t want to hear it. Yeah even though I was feeling better now I doubted I’d still be feeling fine if we tried again and it would only make me feel even worse if we forced it. And yeah I knew he would take forever and a half to finish and I was completely inexperienced sucking a man’s dick but I was sure I could keep up. Though honestly I just didn’t really care anymore even if I couldn’t, I wanted to taste Wesker and today I was going to get what I wanted. He seemed to get the hint because he stopped trying to talk and just kissed me, his nails carefully raking over the skin on my torso to leave angry red lines that made my body tremble. At least I thought he was done trying to get away from me. “Do you-” I forced him back to me again, his lips on mine only briefly before his hands tightly grasped mine and slammed them down onto the mattress at either side of my head. One of my wrists twisted in the process and I cringed but Wesker didn’t seem to care as he pinned me down. The look in his reddening eyes had me obediently waiting for more, not wanting him to care about a little pain he put me through. “Let me speak.” he commanded and I shivered at his low threatening tone. 

“Yes, my god.” I answered, knowing full well the effect it would have on him. I was rewarded with his eyes flashing as they narrowed in lust, his mouth falling open just enough to let a low moan out to express his desire for me. I used to think him having a god complex was a scary thing but as long as I was the only one he was a god over and the only one allowed to worship him, it wasn’t so bad. Wesker leaned down to claim my mouth before he bit my lower lip, slowly increasing the pressure until I flinched which seemed to be the cue for him to stop. His tongue ran over the abused skin as he moved his knees under him to kneel over me though he kept me pinned. 

“I was going to ask if you wanted to take this to your room but now you don’t get a say in it.” he informed me seconds before he let go of my hands in order to get off of the bed. Just as I was starting to sit up to follow him, his hands moved under me and all too easily he lifted me up into his arms. Regrettably I freaked out about it, sharply inhaling as my arms quickly reached out to wrap around the blond’s neck to stabilize myself against the unfamiliar feeling of being picked up. Wesker was laughing at me even as he started walking out of his room to mine with me still not on the ground . 

“I have been described as a ‘hulk of a man’ so I’m not exactly used to being carried around.” I defended myself even though the other hadn’t directly said anything about my reaction- but he laughed. Seriously though, I was a big guy with dense muscle covering my body and he was carrying me like I weighed nothing! I mean I wasn’t exactly surprised because I knew how strong he was and he’d lifted me off my feet a few times before but that was different- right now he was actually carrying me like his blushing bride! Though I guess he’d actually done this once before during my panic attack but I wasn’t exactly conscious for that so it didn’t count. 

Once we were in my room with the door closed and the camera off, I got the feeling that Wesker was going to throw me onto my bed but thought better of it because of the bruising so he set me down instead. He leaned down to kiss me as I scooted farther onto the bed so he could bring his knees onto the mattress to follow me. Our lips would part here and there as we arranged ourselves and stripped off our shirts but we quickly found each other again. With the blond on his knees in front of me, I spread my legs so he could come between them which had him practically laying on top of me. My fingers trailed up his arms at my sides until they were wrapped around his neck to keep him pressed to me. His hand slipped under the pillow to grab the bottle of lube where it’d been left for easy access, I heard the cap pop open then closed a second later. His now slicked touch moved to the narrowing space between our bodies to pull my pants down just enough to be able to pull out my dick and a moment later I felt his erection rub against mine. 

I thought I was used to this place by now but my mind was having trouble believing it was really morning because I hadn’t woken up that long ago but it was pitch black in my room without the light on. But somehow, without being able to see the action, it made my other senses even more aware of every touch from the blond man above me. His tongue was at my throat as his slicked hand grabbed both of our sex organs and started pumping us together at an almost rhythmic pace. This wasn’t what I had in mind but I wasn’t about to complain so I laid back and enjoyed his wonderful treatment. He let more of his weight settle on my torso so his now freed hand could travel my exposed skin, his nails biting teasingly into me and his calloused fingers massaging known erogenous zones. I moaned at every heightened sensation, honestly getting a little mad that he was so good at this. Even if he did research or something, sex was an entirely different thing to actually experience. Seriously though, what wasn’t he good at? 

As he worked us, I spiraled with the pleasure of his touches. Had I ever done this before him? Just allowed myself to be swept away like this? In all of my previous relationships I’d always taken a leading role and cared more about making my partner feel good. Of course the sex was usually good for me too but had I really taken the time to just fully enjoy myself without thought for anything else? I knew Wesker was feeling good too so was I feeling it more than usual because I didn’t have to worry about that? Was it because he was demanding the lead role and was being such a generous lover to me? Or was it just because I was doing this with Wesker- the one I’ve really always wanted to be with? But then… did that mean everything else was just settling? Was Wesker the reason none of my relationships worked out? But… Wesker wouldn’t work out either. We didn’t know what would happen once this month was over. If he stayed here I could come visit him and maybe we could work on having something like a real relationship. But if he… what if he tried to escape- what if he did escape? 

With so much negativity on my mind, I was suddenly not feeling it as much as I just had been even though Wesker’s pleasurable movements still stirred my insides. I removed my arms from around his neck to place on his shoulders, pushing lightly until he got it that I wanted him to move. The hand that had been teasing me moved to the mattress to support his weight as he held himself over me, his body coming away from mine just enough for me to touch his bare chest. My fingers settled over his heartbeat and I felt it for a time to quiet my mind. I didn’t want to think about these doubts of mine again, I decided I would cross that bridge when or if it came. For now I just wanted to enjoy my time with Wesker. He seemed to sense that something was wrong because his other hand slowed before stopping. He didn’t say anything and his eyes weren’t glowing so I couldn’t see what kind of expression he was looking at me with… could he even see me? I had no idea how good his night vision was, my eyes needed at least some light to be able to adjust to the darkness but it was entirely dark in here. 

Wordlessly my hands slowly cupped his face, my thumbs rubbing gently across his cheekbones as I offered a soft smile just in case he could see it. I wanted to see him but I didn’t want him to be away from me for a single second… not with these thoughts in mind. I pulled him down to kiss me, soft and slow. I needed the reassurance that he was still here with me, right now, in this moment. I needed to believe he wasn’t going anywhere. I needed more of him to make him mine so that even if he wasn’t always with me, I would at least have this. I slowly sat up, making him move too until he was sitting up on his knees between my legs. I grabbed one of his arms and pushed him to the side until he slowly followed my guidance to sit next to me, his back against the headboard. I took a second to quickly kick off my pants before swinging one of my legs over his so I was straddling him, our stiff cocks rubbing together again though neither of us reacted to it. Though we couldn’t see each other, or at least I assumed he couldn’t see me either, we were in a sort of trance in this gentle intimacy. 

It was my turn to grab us though it was more to transfer as much of the lube onto Wesker as I could and to slick my own hand which I then used to prod at my ass. It felt fine though when I experimentally stuck a finger inside… it didn’t hurt but it didn’t really feel all that pleasant. I didn’t care, I needed more of Wesker to prove he was mine- I was the only person he would willingly have sex with. I needed that, I needed him. So what if I was using this as a distraction against my own negative thoughts, sometimes it’s fine to just fuck away the pain, right? 

His hands circled around me to caress my back, his fingertips softly tracing the lines of muscles he followed and I sighed in contentment. It felt nice. I really really enjoyed our rough passionate sex and all the times he scratched me but this was enjoyable in a different way. I raised myself up a little, keeping hold of Wesker’s erection to position at my entrance before slowly lowering myself onto it. I cringed as his dick spread me wider to make room to fit inside me, my inner walls flaring with an uncomfortable burning heat in objection to the intrusion. It was fine, I was healed enough for this. I figured he couldn’t see me after all because he would probably stop me if he could see the pain on my face. I lowered a little more and heard the very attractive moan my lover gave to me as his fingers dug a little into my skin though he wasn’t using his nails. That spurred me to get him fully inside me quicker, I wanted to hear more of his voice- I wanted him to lose the careful control he had on himself again because of the pleasure I gave him. I didn’t mean to… but I inhaled sharply as I winced in pain when Wesker’s cock twitched against my insides. His hands were under my ass in an instant to press upward, stopping me from impaling myself onto his dick any deeper. 

“Don’t do this if it hurts Chris.” he told me with worry in his tone. I leaned forward to kiss him but he turned his head away so I couldn’t shut him up again. 

“I want to.” I objected, quickly getting frustrated that I wasn’t getting my way like I planned. “I like the pain anyway.” 

“That wasn’t the sound of you liking the pain Chris, I’ve learned what that sounds like.” he claimed which confirmed that he couldn’t see in the dark either since he had only reacted to the pained sound I accidentally made rather than my pained expression. I groaned, getting more frustrated that he was right and not letting me do this anyway. I wanted to have sex, why couldn’t I just be healed already? I couldn’t be upset that he was so rough with me last time, I liked it too much to regret it even now. If only I had his regenerative ability we could go at it like that all the time. 

“I want to make you feel so good you can’t think again.” I tried to lower myself further and though I got a little movement, the blond stopped me. 

“Are you sure it’s me you want to feel that way?” he asked and I sighed, knowing he’d already called me out for using this as a distraction earlier so he knew I was the one that didn’t want to think. 

“I want both of us to feel that way.” I answered as I leaned forward again but just to press my forehead to his so he didn’t turn away this time. He let a short silence pass between us as he thought about that but eventually he did force me up so he could take himself out of me even as I flinched. 

“It’ll feel better for me if you’re truly enjoying it as well.” he stated with… such a kind and loving tone that I wanted to melt into him. The closest I could get was to wrap my arms tightly around him, my body pressed to his, and my face buried into his neck. His hands rubbed my back but it didn’t trigger a sexual response from me anymore, it was just comforting. We sat like that for a few minutes without doing anything else and I expected one or both of us to go soft but neither of us did. I was still thinking about what I wanted to do to Wesker as the senseless passion of our first time replayed in my mind, the unfairness of not being able to repeat it yet not doing anything to stifle my desire for him right now. I wasn’t sure what he was thinking about but obviously he wasn’t ready to call it quits yet either. 

“You’re still hard.” I pointed out, my voice muffled in the blond’s skin. 

“As are you.” he chuckled before kissing my collarbone. “Am I to take these facts to mean you’re alright with continuing now?” I knew he was genuinely asking if I even wanted to though his tone was playful with the jab at me stating the obvious. I slowly nodded before finally pulling my face away from his shoulder only for him to press his lips to mine, gentle and reaffirming. Then his hand was wrapped around my dick, making me inhale sharply through my nose since there was no way I was going to break this kiss. Keeping one of my arms around his shoulders, I let the other drop between us to stroke his neglected erection. 

We jerked each other off with the wet noises of our sliding hands, the soft press of our kisses, and the low moans we shared between breaths were the only sounds around us. We worked each other quicker, both getting frantic for more as free hands, tongues, and teeth touched and hurt wherever they could just for more sensation. We continued like that until the coil in my gut tightened too much and I bit into Wesker’s lip as I came onto both of our stomachs and hands. 

“Chris!” the blond grunted as he pulled his head away from me to get my teeth off of him, his hand quickly prying mine off of his shaft. I didn’t mean to grip him so tightly, I wanted to hurt him pleasurably to spite his challenge that I was welcome to try but this wasn’t intentional or wanted. 

“S-sorry.” I panted, still riding down the high of my climax. My head fell to Wesker’s shoulder again though my whole body trembled as Wesker’s fingers stroked again before releasing me. I felt his slick hand brush against my shoulder as he brought his hand up in the dark and wondered what he was doing. A second later I heard what he was doing when the wet sound of his tongue sliding across his fingers reached my ear. A shiver vibrated down my spine as I listened to him lick my semen from his hand. Now more than ever I wished one of us had bothered with turning on the light so I could see him doing it. I still looked at him though, trying to make out whatever features of the intimate act I could but it wasn’t entirely needed. He opened his eyes to stare back at me, his eyes emanating a faint yellow orange glow though it wasn’t enough to illuminate any of his face, just enough for me to clearly see his beautiful eyes in the darkness. 

“I thought you would taste good.” the way he said it was neither accusatory nor was it pleasant… so I couldn’t tell if that thought was proven right or wrong. It made me a bit nervous. 

“And?” I whispered hesitantly when he didn’t continue and with the way I watched his visible eyes tilt with his head movement I could imagine the smirk he now wore, knowing the effect he had on me. Which could only mean he was messing with me again, purposefully stirring me up. 

“I’m not disappointed.” he finally said and I exhaled in relief. I don’t know why it was important to me that Wesker liked the way I tasted but it was. I wanted him to enjoy all of me… plus it was hot and next time I would watch him do it. I kissed him, forcing my way into his mouth to taste the remnants of my own flavor on his tongue. I didn’t like it but that’s fine, I didn’t have to, Wesker did- and does, that’s all that mattered. While we continued to make out, I grabbed for the blond’s penis again but he stopped me so I pulled away from his mouth to ask why but he spoke first, knowing that I was going to object. “Not after you held it that tightly.” he told me though his tone only carried playfulness without any punishing malice. 

“I…” I didn’t know what to say to that. I know I squeezed his dick too hard as I finished but I didn’t think it would have hurt him enough to make him not want me to touch him again. “Did it really hurt that bad?” I asked, guilt filling my words. 

“As you’ve stated, you built yourself up to be able to hurt me and the penis is a rather sensitive organ. I’ve also told you I don’t enjoy pain as you do.” he answered so regardless of him holding my wrist I moved my hand farther down to touch his dick to find that it was limp now, resting against my thigh though I hadn’t noticed since my awareness was still making its way back to me. 

“Fuck…” I groaned and left him alone, rubbing my hand over my face as I berated myself for denying him release like he had given me. “I’m sorry Wesker.” I told him sincerely and he wrapped his arms around my waist to trail his hands up and down my back once more. 

“It was an accident.” he forgave me with a soft kiss to my forehead, this one less hesitant than the last one he gave me and it made me smile even through my guilt. That was so cute. “I’m tired anyway Chris.” 

“You’re tired?” I asked in surprise and he nodded. “You just slept two days ago, usually you wait three.” 

“I wasn’t asleep for very long last time.” he explained shortly, his hands still massaging my back muscles.  

“What if you try to stay up so you can sleep with me tonight?” he chuckled, knowing that I just wanted to cuddle with him all night without him getting too bored. 

“I believe I can manage that.” I smiled as his lips trailed over my collarbone again. I leaned back a little, my hand trailing up his body to cup his cheek before I softly captured his lips. 

“We’re never doing this with the lights off again.” I stated as a stern matter of fact and he laughed now, my own laughter joining his after a moment. 

“I second that.” I felt him nod since my palm was still resting on his face, my thumb gently rubbing circles into his smooth skin. It was good to know that he didn’t like not being able to see me as much as I hated not seeing him during… well, anytime, really. I sighed as I climbed off of him, getting off my bed and walking over to the door to turn on the light. I blinked against the sudden visibility and looked back to see Wesker covering his eyes with a hand. I knew his mutated eyes didn’t have any problem adjusting to the light anymore like his human eyes did but I knew that didn’t mean he liked bright lights. I was sure part of the reason he still wore his sunglasses all the time was to spite the light as if to prove he didn’t need it. But he did since he obviously couldn’t see in the dark. 

“We still need to finish that show Jill recommended.” I reminded as I found and pulled my pants back on, very aware of the way the blond man’s eyes followed my every motion. He had already tucked himself back into his pants and slid off my bed to go clean himself off in the bathroom so I joined him. He again brought up us taking a shower together but I just glanced at the small shower box with an incredulous look which I then turned on him. We wouldn’t fit and he knew it. Was he just teasing me or did he actually want to try just for the excuse of being forced so close to me? I went to turn on my camera, getting used to it being on more lately since Wesker was spending more time in here with me so unless we were actively doing something sexual, I tried to remember to keep it on. I’m sure someone would let me know if it was off too much while he was in here too. 

Wesker gave me an annoyed expression as I put my shirt on but didn’t say anything, even silently putting on his own shirt when I handed it to him. He grabbed one of my pillows off my bed before we made our way out to the living room. I sat in my usual spot on the couch as I turned on the tv and was surprised when the pillow was dropped onto my lap so Wesker could put his head on it as he lay across the rest of the couch. I smiled down at him though he was already facing the television rather than me. I leaned down to kiss his temple before sitting back into the couch cushions and turning on the show we had started days ago, my fingers gently playing with short strands of blond hair. 

~~~ 

Rebirth 

Once I became aware of my surroundings, my head was surprisingly clear. My body was stiff and it took me a moment to get my limbs to obey commands but I managed to use the machine behind me to slowly get my feet under me. Now standing, I blinked to rid my vision of the darkness at the edges but it didn’t help so I raised an arm to take off my sunglasses. My vision was clearer than ever and the light around the laboratory didn’t cause any irritation. It was incredible, already my senses were picking up on things they hadn’t before my resurrection. 

The facility’s automated voice warned that the self destruct system had been activated. That was inconvenient, I hadn’t been the one to start that. Of course Chris and the other survivors would have wanted to destroy all the ‘monsters’ they encountered here and between them was enough computer skill to be able to figure out how to activate the damn protocol. No matter, with my level of clearance I should be able to override the command or at least delay it a little while longer as I finish my business here. That’s right… I dropped the eyewear, even stepping on them as I started over to the console I had been working at before I was interrupted. I didn’t have time to enjoy my newfound life, I had something I needed to do. 

My legs hesitated the first few steps as if I was just learning to walk again but that was all they needed to adjust before the stiffness went away and I felt lighter on my feet. I wanted to run, jump, punch something, and perform all sorts of tests of my new physical capabilities. But all that would have to wait, I still had a job to do. It was time to grab the data and get out. My fingers ran across the keyboard, trying to bring up the security system controls so I could figure out the state of the place, however an error screen appeared before me. 

“Due to the emergency condition, all data has been backed up to the UMF-013.” an unfamiliar electronic voice told me from the monitor’s speaker. So all the digitally stored data was no longer here, that was of no concern to me, my transfer of the data was already initialized before my death so even if a bit towards the end was missing, I had more than I would need to secure my plans. 

“Sergei was busy.” I commented to myself as I began to log back into the system since it had timed me out, a useful security measure. It was a wise move on my coworker’s part to remotely secure the data from this facility, knowing that it was intended to be destroyed. I had been ordered to retrieve samples and data, half of which needed to be collected in person so in the event that I managed to fail my tasks this would ensure they at least kept the data to be able to replicate elsewhere. I had planned to deprive Umbrella of this useful data after I took it for myself but it didn’t matter that they would now get to keep their copy. 

“Wesker, Albert.” the voice called after I hit ‘enter’ on my login information which only promoted another error message. “I am afraid that as of twenty four hundred hours, I have taken it upon my authority to revoke your access privileges to the mainframe system.” I was informed which startled me. I was kicked from the system? At midnight ?! It was nearly dawn! The transfer wouldn’t have been finalized within that time- everything I had complied would have been frozen with the suspension! 

“Impossible! Who are you?” I growled harshly at the computer as I typed my question into the command bar, anger rising quickly in my body. 

“I am Red Queen.” the woman’s choppy voice told me as I watched the Umbrella logo separate a triangle of each color from it, labeled ‘White Queen’ and ‘Red Queen’ respectively. “My primary objective is the management and protection of Umbrella assets.” I quickly read ahead of her words as her three main objectives ran across the screen. I didn’t read past the second nor did I listen to her continue to explain her function, I had all the information about her that I cared to know for now. The two queens seemed to be artificial intelligence implemented into Umbrella’s system without me knowing. I knew Sergei was suspicious of me, that much was clear during our confrontation last night, but I didn’t think he was suspicious enough to lock me out of the system. Especially not while I was tasked with retrieving the data, although perhaps that’s why he had done it. After all, he was right about my intentions, I am betraying Umbrella. Unfortunately for me, this meant he was successful in thwarting my plan to steal the goods for myself. The hatred I felt was raw and unfiltered. With one quick motion I lashed out, driving my clenched fist into the monitor and it broke quite easily with no damage to my hand. 

“You will regret this, my lady. That I promise.” I swore with a hard glare to the broken display, catching the red glow in my own eyes through the reflection of a black section of the shattered monitor. I was no longer willing to listen even as the Red Queen continued to speak. Without my access I would be unable to stop the countdown and there were only minutes left until the entire facility would be reduced to rubble. I wouldn’t even have time to collect any quick samples- I just needed to get out. Where I had planned to revive and take my time collecting the spoils of this incident without Umbrella or the remaining STARS members as a distraction, I was now out of time and being forced to leave empty handed. It was time to change the plan. I had to secure my escape then I would deal with them. I wouldn’t forget Sergei’s kindness- he would pay for this, I would track him down and kill him before claiming what I wanted. But I was a patient man with other priorities, his day would come. 

As I was making for the door, I found the tyrant that killed me was dead yet no trace of Chris… and somehow, nor Rebecca were seen. A pity. I had such hopes for Tyrant though I had even more confidence in Chris’s capability. I guess I would eventually get the opportunity to see him again after all. And what a treat that would be. What kind of new expression would he show me next? After he witnessed my rather gruesome death, how would he react to finding out I was alive? I was reborn like a phoenix emerging from the flame. I had risen beyond the human race and cheated death itself. Nothing would oppose me now but I sure hoped Chris would try. 

“Chris… I hope you survive long enough for us to have our tear filled reunion.” the thought drew a menacing laugh from me, my spirits lifted as I started to plan for the occasion. First thing’s first though, I had to make my way from this mansion. 

It was time to take the virus for a test drive.

Chapter Text

I stared down at Wesker’s sleeping face, following the lines that defined his features. After watching far too much tv, taking breaks for meals, and trying to find other things to do, he ended up giving me the next letter though wouldn’t read it with me. “Rebirth” was a direct continuation of “Death” so I wasn’t sure if it was okay to talk about or not. As we burned it I admitted that it was a little satisfying to know how things went down on his side of things and how he got his powers. He only shrugged through a yawn so I guessed he was just too tired to really get into it then which was fine. 

Without anything else to do, we ended up back on the couch to continue our on and off binge watching. He was laying in my lap again and eventually fell asleep there. I didn’t want to wake him up… but it was very late, technically very early, and I was tired too. He looked normal… human. Could he really feel the same way about me as I did for him? 

Back in STARS… he knew I was attracted to him and he didn’t do anything about it when he could’ve had me fired and ruined a lot of working opportunities for me, really him exposing me back then would have been really bad for me. But he never treated me differently because of my “abnormal” sexuality. He picked me first for missions which I never used to think about since it just made sense because I was our team’s pointman but maybe it was also because I came to mind first. I was the only one he frequently checked on when injured and he even tried to help take care of me. Even in the mansion, against his orders to kill off STARS, he left me spare ammo and medical supplies to help me survive. He even took the time to leave me notes, warn me not to engage Lisa Trevor since she wouldn’t die, and hell he even fixed a door I couldn’t get through. I know he did that just for me because he said in his note to use it to make sure I could escape. And yeah, he pit me up against such a dangerous foe as Tyrant but he did it knowing I could handle it. He believed I was skilled enough to take it on and I did. I didn’t like that I once again came to his mind first when he picked me to witness his death but even that was… sweet, I guess, in its own way. He trusted me with the secret fear he hid and he wanted me to be the last person he saw. 

Even after we encountered each other again… he never really hurt me despite claiming to want me dead. He might have roughed me up but there were so many times he could have just killed me and been done with it… but he never did. I wonder if that ever frustrated him or what he told himself was the reason for letting me live since he didn’t realize his feelings for me until recently. Did he tell himself it was simply more fun? That seemed to be what he implied before he recognized his true feelings. The last time I saw him before all this… I hadn’t realized it at the time because everything was happening so fast but there was an exaggerated pause between Wesker raising his arm to kill me and Jill taking him out of the window with her. I wasn’t looking at him at that point, going over what I believed to be my last thoughts before death. He really had to have hesitated then, didn’t he? I guess I’ve always been a little skeptical of his claim to have spared me then but it had to be true. But… he said he didn’t choose to spare me, he said that he couldn’t kill me. 

Within the last twenty days of us being stuck… no, of us living together, Wesker’s grown close with me on an emotional level I never expected from him- not even back in STARS when I used to fantasize about what life with him would be like. He was just as tense with me as I was with him starting out though he was more subtle about it and since day one he was the one trying to extend some kind of olive branch even after I smacked him in the face with it. He tried to make sure I was eating, sleeping, and adjusting as well as possible to what he recognized was the very stressful situation he put me in. He said he didn’t expect much from me, so even thinking that I would be hostile toward him all month… he would still try. There were hints too about his feelings, some discreet and others more direct… like him calling me… his “right guy”. Remembering that still put a fluttering sensation in my chest now that I knew the words carried the same meaning between us. 

Then there was… I didn’t even want to think of it like this… but it was true, wasn’t it? My own people in the organization I helped to build from the ground up… abandoned me when I was panicking over the possible loss of my little sister- the only family I had left in the world. But Wesker was right there for me the entire time. Trying to calm me down, stopping me from hurting myself, reassuring me about Claire’s capability, and giving up information early just to help me. He was tense because I was, he kept a close watch on me to intervene in any more destructive behavior if needed, he was genuinely worried about what I was going through, and he tried to comfort me. Once I had slipped into a delirious state, he tended to me even after I was so mean to him. He stayed with me, helped me breathe properly again, spoke so soothingly to me… he took a bullet for me. I mean it’s not like anyone was trying to shoot me and he got in the way or anything, I was never in danger of being hurt. He dropped me the first time they shot at him so he could dodge the bullet and that’s how I wound up on the floor, but he was willing to take the second bullet so he didn’t have to drop me again. I was worth the inconvenience to him. 

He’s been patient and caring, he’s shared a lot with me, and he’s listened to me over small and big things. One very important topic… was this fight worth as much as I lost? I tried to believe it was but that future without fear that I strived to create only seemed to get farther away. Wesker first suggested retiring but there’s just no way I could do that. Sure I might want a peaceful life that didn’t have me risking my life all the time or losing friends- I didn’t want any part of any loss of life. But I couldn’t just leave… that’s not really what I wanted. It wasn’t about wanting to leave, it was about wanting the world to be a safer place. I wanted a normal life that didn’t require any fighting but more than that I wanted a happy life where fighting wasn’t necessary. If I knew the world and all its inhabitants were completely free and safe from people like the man sleeping in my lap then I could relax and live that life. But as long as I knew there was danger and a need for soldiers to protect others from that danger, I would always put myself on the front lines. So when I said I wanted to stop fighting, I meant that I wanted the war to be over. But as Wesker said, it wasn’t going to stop. Soldiers like me would always be needed… so I would never be free. 

“ But that doesn’t mean you can’t change how you fight. ” 

Those words lingered in my head all day… I still didn’t want to think about it but the words wouldn’t leave me alone. Change how I fight… what changes would I even want to make? No, no, none of that was at all possible. 

“Wesker… hey, wake up.” I softly called to get him up as my fingers stroked gently through his hair. His eyes easily slid open to meet mine. He hummed in greeting and raised his hand to touch my face so I kissed his palm before leaning my cheek into it. “Are you still coming to bed with me?” I questioned and he nodded. Not wanting to get up from the comfortable position, we both stalled moving from the couch but we eventually did. We moved into my bedroom, leaving the door open to let light in so we could still see each other without having to turn on the one in my room. He got into bed first and I crawled in after him, just barely having gotten under the blanket before he was making a grab for me. I wanted to turn around and lay on his chest so I could hold him too but he pulled my back to him and nestled his face into my shoulder. 

“Night.” he muttered sleepily after placing a loving kiss on my skin. I found the whole thing rather adorable, Wesker actually acting tired was somehow precious. He got comfortable pretty quickly and I didn’t want to disturb that because it was very cozy. 

“Good night captain.” I replied as I laced my fingers with his across my chest and relaxed against his arm under my head. I wanted to be even closer to him but this was nice. We still had time. 

… … … 

“Never?” I asked again, still in disbelief. 

“No Chris, for the third time, I haven’t seen it.” the blond repeated once again with annoyance now in his tone but I ignored it as I continued to stare at him in shock and confusion. Out of boredom we’d found our way back to the couch to watch some more tv when I came across an old movie that had me laughing over nostalgia but Wesker very nonchalantly informed me that he hadn’t seen it which hit me like a truck. 

“ Never ?” 

“Chris!” he warned with full on irritation now because he had already repeated himself for my benefit and I was continuing to make him do it. 

“Sorry!” I pleaded with my hands held up in surrender to his agitation. “It’s just… I mean, it’s a classic- everyone’s seen it.” 

“Evidently not.” he folded his arms, still holding his steady gaze on me. He wasn’t quite angry or defensive, just entirely done with this topic. 

“But you knew the reference.” I countered as my mind wandered back to our STARS days, everyone in the office cracking jokes and making silly movie references. Some of them Wesker didn’t understand as even being references to anything at all though some he caught onto- this was one of those. All these years I was sure he’d seen the movie because he picked up the reference. 

“One can have knowledge of a movie and its contents without actually having watched it.” he explained as if I genuinely couldn’t comprehend the idea though I guess I was acting like I couldn’t. 

“Yeah but…” I trailed off, not knowing what to say. I don’t even know why I was getting so hung up over this. Really I guess it wasn’t so surprising but still… everyone’s seen Ghostbusters. I still remember when it got brought up so clearly because that whole day was a really good one for me. Jill and I went to the RPD’s shooting range for her usual lessons, we ran into Wesker and I stuck around to talk to him while Jill went to set up. He was venting off his frustrations with Chief Scumbag- I mean Chief Irons, and he was actually willing to let me try to cheer him up. He’d asked if I was there with Jill since we could obviously hear her moving things around and I joked that I hadn’t so there must be a ghost then I asked him who we should call. He told me he wouldn’t fall for the bait for “that movie reference” which made me think he’d definitely seen it to know what I was talking about in the first place. Jill covered for me and yelled out ‘Ghostbusters’ so I at least wasn’t left hanging. I held that memory close to my chest because it was one of the first times Wesker had been willing to talk so casually with me outside of work. 

“You lot weren’t the only ones making movie references or trying to get me interested in them. I heard plenty about it before I even met any of you.” the blond continued and I just stared at him for a moment with nothing more to say to argue it. It made plenty of sense but still… even after all this time, never? 

“You know I have to put it on now.” I stated as I used the remote to select it and he sighed in disapproval but didn’t otherwise complain. So I hit play on Ghostbusters with the full intention of being completely obnoxious every time the theme song played. He groaned and looked at me like I was an overgrown child he was unfortunate enough to be forced to deal with but didn’t otherwise try to stop me. 

We’d gotten about three quarters of the way through the film when my phone rang from the coffee table and it was actually Wesker that nearly sprung for it, grabbing it and answering the call before I could argue or even see who it was. For all he bitched whenever I got a call, he sure was ready and willing to interrupt our movie night- well, day. 

“Oh, hey Jill.” I greeted once Wesker set the call on speaker and held my phone up for me so I could actually see the name on the screen now. 

“Argh- Chris!” my best friend hissed my name back at me like she wanted to tear out my throat. 

“Woah, okay, uh… what did I do?” I questioned as I set up a little straighter and took my phone from the blond. I looked at a nearby camera, wondering if she was already on the monitors since it was getting to be about time for her shift. 

“Everyone’s coming to me with their complaints and concerns about your relationship with Wesker!” her exclamation put me at ease. I wasn’t worried something was actually wrong because Jill was cool headed under pressure and mostly all business to get things sorted so if she was letting her frustration show this much it was because it was safe to do so. But still, I had thought she was actually mad at me- well… she was but I knew her well enough to know it was indirect and she just needed to vent. And what else are best friends for? 

“Tell them to talk directly to me about it then.” I held back a sad sigh because… well, I didn’t like the accidental reminder that no one was talking to me anymore. I used to get people checking up on me and giving me encouragement to get through each day… I haven’t heard from a single person other than Jill and Claire in at least a few days. I knew I couldn’t have any work stuff going on in here where Wesker could possibly get information he shouldn’t but this was different. Everyone was talking about me and asking questions but no one even thought to ask me, instead using Jill as a middle man as if it was against the rules to talk to… another prisoner. 

“I have . Repeatedly.” I didn’t have anything to say to that- no, I did, I just didn’t want to say it to Jill. These doubts were… fuck why did I feel the need to hide this from Jill when I could be the one to bring up the subject with Wesker? I know I haven’t really let that conversation fully happen but I felt it was fine to at least let him know the doubts existed. Maybe it was because the BSAA was just as important to Jill as it was- maybe… used to be to me. I didn’t want her to know I’ve been losing faith in our organization. I noticed the way Wesker was looking at me, a tense stare that held questions over my saddened expression. I shook my head and looked away from him. Maybe I would try again to explain a little bit of what I was feeling later, maybe not. “I mean not all of it is bad or anything, some of it is just the usual gossip but even then why are people gossiping to me about it like I don’t already know?” 

“Tell me who’s pestering you and I’ll call them then.” I suggested with a shrug, not really knowing what else to tell her. I couldn’t really do anything about it if no one was willing to talk to me. 

“The new director is one of them- I had to come in early to have a meeting with him and a few other higher ups about this shit.” she explained and I did sigh now. This was getting out of hand. I believed Jill when she said that it wouldn’t come to anything actionable but we both knew it would cause some problems. And I was the one that decided I didn’t care… I was the one that decided Wesker was worth it. Speaking of, he gently grabbed my chin and turned my head back to him. He didn’t say anything, just studied the tiredness I could feel descending over me. “I have better shit to do than try to explain to the brass that, no, you’re not being swindled by Wesker into defecting.” my eyebrows furrowed in frustration but it was only a front for what I was actually feeling. He knew. He knew what was going through my head and he wanted to do something about it but I’d stopped him last time. “Because you’re not, right?” there was something in his expressive eyes but I couldn’t really tell what. Was he trying to convey his understanding? Was he asking for permission for something? Whatever it was, I couldn’t keep looking at him so I turned my head away and he allowed me to. “Chris- right ?” Jill’s now raised voice demanded my attention back to the conversation. I wasn’t really sure what she said but I hurriedly agreed with her. 

“Y-yeah, right.” 

“Sorry I didn’t catch that, could you sound even less convincing?” she was teasing but her voice was still agitated. “Hold on.” she sighed as I heard a door open from her end of the line. There was a short muffled conversation as she talked to someone else. I peeked back over to Wesker but his gaze was past me and… into my bedroom? He noticed me looking so his reddened eyes shifted back to me and… he offered me a small reassuring smile. My chest instantly lightened and I smiled back, somehow already feeling a little better. “Is that Ghostbusters?” thanks to Wesker seemingly magically lightening my mood, I was able to chuckle. 

“Yeah, Wesker’s never seen it.” 

“Ngh, not this again.” the blond grunted in annoyance next to me as he shifted to face forward and lay his head against the back of the couch. 

“Really?” she asked in disbelief and I laughed now. I looked at a camera as I nodded since I knew now she had just started her shift. “Seriously?” 

“I was just as surprised.” I assured her. 

“Wait but, I swear he made a reference at some point.” 

“I did no such thing.” Wesker quickly corrected and I laughed again. 

“Yes you did!” the woman argued. “It was the first time I went into the office wearing that huge ass white winter coat and you called me the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man!” I thought about that for a minute, trying to remember if Wesker did do that but I honestly couldn’t remember. I remembered that coat, we all teased her about how big it was on her and I know for sure that comparison had been made but I couldn’t recall who started it. 

“You asked my thoughts on it after being teased by the rest of the team and I agreed that it made you look like a marshmallow but I was not the one to make reference to any movie character.” Wesker explained and that sounded right. “I wasn’t even aware the marshmallow looking creature in this movie had a name.” 

“Yeah sorry Jill but I’m gonna have to side with Wesker on this one, I think it might have been either me or Joseph that made the reference.” I told her and heard her sigh in defeat, the memory probably not strong enough in her own mind to argue further. 

“Wait, then why are you so surprised he hasn’t seen it?” 

“Remember that time we ran into him in the shooting range during one of your lessons?” I asked and gave her a minute to think about it because while we were all often in the shooting range together for practice or training, it only happened outside of work once. 

“Maybe?” 

“Do you remember me calling out the ‘who do you call’ line?” 

“Yeah! Now I remember- I yelled back ‘Ghostbusters’ and you called me your ghost friend.” she was laughing now and I was glad for it so she wasn’t as stressed. 

“I was trying to get Wesker to say it but he said…” I trailed off as I held my phone a little closer to him to cue him to repeat his words from back then because there was no way he wouldn’t remember what I was talking about. 

“If you’re trying to bait me for that movie reference, I refuse to say it.” he quoted himself and though I don’t remember it well enough to know if it was word for word, it wouldn’t surprise me if it was. Jill laughed harder at the irritated tone our former captain spoke with, still disapproving of this topic but at least it was cheering both myself and Jill up from our bad moods. 

“Alright so you didn’t make the reference but you knew it.” Jill countered and surprisingly Wesker, in a very exaggerated manner, rotated his head to peer incredulously at the camera I’d been looking at as if to look at the woman as well. He’d already had to explain how he could know movie references without seeing them thanks to others talking about them. I sucked in a sharp breath and tried to stifle my next laugh but the blonde woman didn’t, letting out a hearty sound over the annoyance caused to the man next to me. 

“The pair of you share a single brain cell.” Wesker muttered and I covered my mouth with my hand as I laughed into it. But then Jill started singing the Ghostbusters theme song and I couldn’t contain my laughter anymore as I joined in, proving him right about our shared brain capacity. “Just to be clear, no consequences are coming from Chris and I being together. Correct?” I bit my lip at the blond’s wording, not having thought he would so directly claim we were together . Did that mean he thought we were dating- were we dating? Shit, I hadn’t really even thought of it like that… so far to me, we just kind of have been a thing without a name. Did Wesker think we were dating? Did I? I didn’t want to correct him so maybe I did? I did really like the implication that we were a serious thing rather than just a fling to last the rest of the month. “Christopher.” Wesker called loudly which told me he’d been trying to get my attention. Shit I guess I spaced out again. 

“What?” 

“You’re overthinking again. Did you hear what Jill said?” he stated though didn’t seem at all bothered by my lack of attention to the conversation. 

“Wow he sure learned you fast, didn’t he?” my friend teased with a small chuckle. 

“Shut up.” I groaned but made no correction there either. 

“I said no, there’s no sort of punishment or anything coming your way, everyone’s just worried.” Jill retold me and I sighed as I nodded to myself. 

“We already knew that.” I commented, recalling the conversation we’d had where the woman had been the one to state she doubted anything would come of it. 

“Then why is it that everyone is seeming to neglect him?” Wesker growled, his brows drawn together and his narrowed eyes dimly glowing red in genuine anger. I would have stared at the sight of him getting angry at those ignoring me on my behalf because he knew that it was bothering me but I smacked his chest with the back of my hand instead as I glared at him. I didn’t want Jill to know how it was affecting me. 

“Chris?” Jill asked with a concerned tone and my expression pinched in frustration. I forgot that she was the one monitoring the cameras and just saw that exchange. 

“It’s nothing.” I tried to dismiss it but that only made her tone harder and… maybe even a little suspicious. 

“Then why does Wesker know and I don’t?” fuck. I didn’t have an answer for that, I’ve been wondering that myself since I first told him about my doubts when I hadn’t told anyone else. 

“I’ve been questioning the competence of the BSAA since you can’t seem to keep your members in the loop even when it comes to cases they’re involved in.” Wesker started and I looked at him with a tense stare. The BSAA was very good with open information sharing so long as the proper clearance was obtained so anyone that didn’t have clearance simply wasn’t allowed to be involved in the case. I even told him that all of this information processing had given me a new respect for all the paperwork we had to do. So what was he talking about? “Chris disagrees and lectures me for ‘dissing’ on your organization.” then it clicked. He was lying. He was lying about the meaning behind our interaction to make it seem like this was something we’ve argued about before. He even threw in a word he would never use but I would to make it seem as if he were taking a quote from something I’ve said in a previous talk about it. I only said that I hadn’t told anyone, except for him now, about my doubts concerning the BSAA but I never said what all was making me doubt. The part about being ignored down here was a growing factor of all that but it wasn’t one I’d told him was tying into all of it otherwise I don’t think he would have brought it up. He was lying to cover up the slip and create a situation that I could have reacted like that over. He was lying to give me an out. 

I ran through it in my head quickly. If we had argued about him insulting the BSAA before enough for me to be irritated that he even started again… yeah I would probably glare and hit him like I just had. And what he said about them neglecting me could be seen as an insult… it still seemed a little out of place but he was a good enough liar to pull it off but was I? Did I… did I want to lie to Jill though? Was this a big enough deal to me that I would actually put effort into lying to my best friend? Would she care that I was second guessing the organization we both put our very souls into helping form? If it came up at a different time, maybe not… maybe we could talk it out and I could share my concerns with her. But not now, not like this. If the way she found out about these feelings was through Albert Wesker’s already intimate knowledge of them- especially after a joke about him making me defect… no, that wouldn’t go over well. Besides, I’ve once again referred to the BSAA as a separate thing from myself as if I weren’t a part of it… I’ve been doing that more and more lately. It was starting to scare me. 

“He’s been like this since the Irving thing.” I stated as casually as I could muster, forcing myself to roll my eyes like I was still irritated though my heart pumped gratitude and my blood carried guilt. “He’s just pissy that it took so long to get anything back about what he said. He kept nagging me if anyone had gotten to him yet.” in honesty, the blond had never even asked about Irving. Knowing Wesker, he kept a very strict seal on information so he wouldn’t be very worried about leaks. If this Irving guy was smart, he wouldn’t say more than necessary and he hadn’t. 

“I don’t nag.” Wesker corrected me even though we both knew it was a lie but the banter over it was making it more believable. “I was confident he wouldn’t reveal anything he shouldn’t but at times he can get rather chatty.” 

“You didn’t tell him anything, did you?” Jill questioned, her tone taking on a different sound than the one before. It was still suspicious but in a less worried way and more of a professional concern. 

“Of course not.” I nearly exclaimed, knowing she was probably just making sure but I was still offended that she even felt the need to ask. 

“If Irving had said more than he should have, I would have been able to tell regardless of whether Chris told me or not.” that was probably true. I wouldn’t have been able to keep my body language from telling him. 

“Yeah…” the woman hesitated like there was something more to that she wanted to say but didn’t. Maybe I’d ask her about it later but not with Wesker listening since that was probably the problem and I wasn’t about to call her on keeping something from me when I was actively lying to her. 

“Like you said I’m not being swindled here.” Wesker and I made eye contact and there was something playful in his eyes that told me he was enjoying concocting this lie together and… well, I kind of was too. Though I still felt incredibly guilty for lying to Jill- to cover Albert Wesker’s slip up of all things! But it was also for me because while it was his slip up, it nearly revealed something I didn’t want known. “So like I said, it’s nothing.” it wasn’t the best lie and there was still Wesker’s full reaction to his own question to consider. It was too deep for him to just have been insulting the BSAA, it obviously meant something but that was his thing to explain which he was better at not doing. The lie wasn’t meant to cover up his reaction, it was meant to cover up mine. Now it wouldn’t seem like I was mad over him saying something I didn’t want him to, it would seem more like I was just mad at him for bringing up the BSAA in an accusatory way at all. Or at least that’s what I could claim. So it wasn’t the best lie but Jill would never assume I was lying… she would trust that I would be honest… and I was lying to her. 

“Not that the way we share our information is any of your business Wesker,” Jill told him with almost a taunting voice. “but I get it. It frustrates me too that Chris is shut out of work right now but you realize that it’s because of you, right?” I watched Wesker carefully for his reaction to that, seeing only the slightest bit of tightening in his jaw and the smallest bit of narrowing in his gaze as his eyes shifted to look at a camera. He wouldn’t let Jill see that actually got to him but he couldn’t stop the red in his eyes from flashing. He knew that not being able to work was affecting me negatively and I was being shut out because they didn’t want information possibly getting to Wesker if he were to somehow get ahold of my computer or my phone- which he has though not for the purpose of snooping through it. 

“Are you suggesting he could do without the break? Come now, I thought the two of you were ‘best friends’. You saw the sorry state he was in while he thought we were dead after you, oh, so heroically sacrificed yourself for him.” he taunted her back while wearing a vicious smirk and Jill scoffed. I caught that he included himself in my mourning though I had never said that I did mourn him this time. But it was a fair assumption since I’ve admitted to mourning his death before and I’ve admitted my feelings for him so it was reasonable to think I would have mourned this supposed death as well. I sighed heavily. 

“Need I remind you that it was you that was about to kill him?” 

“Incorrect. I wasn’t going to kill him.” 

“Bullshit- we both saw it!” she exclaimed and I sighed again as my fingers rubbed at my eyes. “And besides he got so much worse after being sent in there with you!” 

“And look at him now.” Wesker gestured to me. “He’s well rested, well fed, relaxed, he’s even happy.” though he said kind words, his voice was still venomous with pride in himself like my improved state was only thanks to him- plus he was enjoying being more “right” than Jill. 

“Until you break his heart again and-” 

“You two realize most of what you’re saying is just putting me down, right?” I called over both of them. “My ‘sorry state’ and I got ‘so much worse’? Yeah, thanks, really feeling the love.” that at least got both of them to shut up, Jill groaning at herself while Wesker just turned his head away indignantly. “We’re gonna call this a draw and drop it, okay?” Wesker nodded once without looking back at me and Jill gave a long sigh before verbally agreeing. “Great. I still think we need to call a timeout so we’ll talk later.” 

“Fine.” my friend relented so we both said a quick goodbye before hanging up. I grunted and leaned forward as I rubbed my hand over the back of my neck. I felt Wesker’s eyes on me but didn’t look up at him yet. 

“Nagging?” Wesker questioned and I just shrugged. I didn’t think he’d mind me throwing him under the bus for the sake of the lie, especially since he was the one that caused the need for one in the first place. But because of that lie, he ended up being called out and insulted in a way that actually got under his skin by someone that actually somewhat mattered. “I apologize for putting you in that situation.” 

“You didn’t mean to… and you got me out of it.” 

“At cost to you.” 

“And to you.” he didn’t argue that and after a minute I heard him shift as he moved to scoot closer to me until our legs were touching. His fingers touched my chin and urged my face up to look at him so I reluctantly did. He kissed me softly once before leaning his head against mine. 

“I know you’re depressed right now but try not to be too expressive as we finish the movie to avoid suspicion then we’ll go into your room where we can speak safely about the matter.” I didn’t like that he used the word “safely” as if Jill were unsafe but I couldn’t object to it since I was the one that was willing to lie just to avoid her knowing. I kissed him again in confirmation before sitting back and grabbing the remote. He sat straight and sighed once the movie resumed playing so I made myself chuckle like I probably would if I was in a better mood. He obviously wasn’t enjoying the movie but he was still willing to watch it with me since I wanted to and that made my smile a little more sincere. I’d let him pick the next movie, there had to be something he liked. 

~~~ 

Blackmail 

Pulling the elevator door open, I headed down the short corridor back to the main laboratory our team operated from. Thanks to the excellent sealing around the room, I didn’t hear anything odd until the door slid open. My ears were assaulted with the noises of slapping skin and panted moans. I stood in the entrance for a few seconds as I tried to understand why the hell anyone would dare- or even want to have sex in the lab. I spotted their movement on the other side of the lab through the clear liquid of the pods taking up a large portion of the center of the room and glared. Apparently they were too entranced in each other to have heard the door opening or hear it close as I finally stepped into the room. I walked over to the main console, perfectly within sight if either of them would bother to look up. I logged in and navigated into the system’s security to activate an alarm to sound only in this room. I set it on a ten second timer then moved back towards the door where I wouldn’t be immediately seen. 

Sure enough, the alarm blared loudly and startled the lovers into a panic of trying to figure out what had happened. I deeply hoped at least one of them worried about possible contamination due to their actions. William came around to the console first, his fingers flying over the keys to pull up the needed information to figure things out but he didn’t get far since I was currently logged in. 

“What the… Wesker?” his voice carried a profound confusion at seeing my name active. 

“Birkin.” I greeted with a harsh tone, causing the man to jump in surprise and fear. At least he had the decency to adjust his… tools back into his pants before spinning around to face me where I stood with my arms crossed, my gaze glaring him down in disapproval through my dark glasses. 

“Oh my god!” he shouted and motioned for his lover to stay hidden behind the pods. “You scared the hell out of me! I thought you left, what are you still doing here?” he called over the ongoing alarm. I stepped forward to join him at the console, trying to ignore the way the musty smell of sweat and sex lingered heaviest around him. The lab was well ventilated but it was still an underground facility with no windows or other means for the moistened air to easily escape. 

“I only left the building to take a walk.” I told him once I had silenced the alarm. “Regardless of who’s around, you would do well not to violate our workspace.” I spoke harshly to him like one would a child that was supposed to know better. It was the only time he wasn’t proud to be younger than me. “I would expect Annette to know better as well.” I said louder to ensure she could hear me. William sighed and a moment later the woman revealed herself, looking more put together than her partner though that was standard between the two. 

“Every precaution was taken to ensure we wouldn’t dirty anything.” she assured me but it only made my hardened gaze turn to her. 

“Accidents happen, not to mention the other kind of “accident” that could occur.” we were busy enough as it was and there was enough drama within the department as it stood, the last thing we needed was for Annette to get pregnant. The two having a child would only mean more drama, gossip, mood swings, arguing, and eventually needed time off. We didn’t need the delays all of that would cause nor should anyone want for it. The comment caused her to blush though she put on a strong face. 

“Thanks for your concern but we were being safe in those regards as well. Not that it’s any of your business.” she crossed her arms to mirror my stance as if she could measure up. William wisely stayed out of it as he had learned the bickering between Annette and myself could get more heated than when he and I argued. I respected her as a scientist but I didn’t like the distraction she had become to William and she was headstrong enough to defend her place and retaliate any ill intended comment I gave on the matter. She was the only person here that dared talk back to me, sometimes even when William wouldn’t dare. So we didn’t exactly get along. I bent closer to her to get into her face and lowered my level to speak with a more dangerous tone simply because I knew she didn’t like it. 

“If you don’t want your sex life to be everyone’s business, don’t fuck in the lab.” her face reddened more at my rare use of vulgar language and she said nothing else so I straightened and looked pointedly at my close acquaintance. He slowly cleared his throat as he nervously wrung his fingers over each other. “There are plenty of rooms in the building, I suggest the next time the mood comes on you find one.” I stated before turning back to the main console to make a point of turning on the fans meant to aerate the room. Then I reactivated my workstation before heading in that direction, intent on ignoring the couple for a long while as they hesitantly shuffled about and whispered to themselves. It only took a few minutes for them to approach me though I didn’t turn to give them my attention. 

“We’re sorry for our unprofessional behavior.” William reluctantly started. 

“And we would like to ask that you not tell anyone about this.” Annette finished so I sighed and looked over them for a suspenseful moment to let them squirm. William and I were the head researchers here and were practically in charge of the facility, though as of now that was mostly only as far as the research went. The Umbrella Security Service maintained the building but most of them were just grunt workers meant to keep a threatening presence. When it came to general operations, there were others that handled management but as far as the important things went, it was William and I that oversaw everything. She could face punishment from either of us though it was clear that wasn’t going to come from her lover and they both knew I valued her as a scientist too much to bring this to an actionable level, nor was I petty enough to simply of my dislike for her. He could face no repercussions unless this got to other Umbrella higher ups and they believed him to have jeopardized the projects here. I would rather kill Annette myself than risk William’s life or career but I wouldn’t say that. I suppose they could also just be worried about gossip. 

“As long as it doesn’t happen again, I’ll remain quiet.” I told them so they thanked me and excused themselves. “For now.” I added just after giving them enough time to relax only to pull the tension back. Neither commented on it as they left and it wasn’t until the door slid closed behind them that I allowed the smirk to show on my lips. Of course everything I had said was true and I was upset that they had chosen to do such a thing here but I didn’t actually care. I trusted them both to have made sure they couldn’t possibly mess anything up since the work came first to all of us. Sex was a primal human desire and they were still fairly new in their relationship, it was understandable for them to be behaving in this way though I still disapproved. But now I had excellent blackmail should I need it later. Sometimes it paid well to play the part to manipulate the pieces in my favor. 

Chapter Text

I stirred when the mattress under me shifted as a weight moved over me, there and then gone. I felt the blanket slip away from me and didn’t mind, it was warm enough anyway with Wesker laying next to me. I half woke up when the air touched more exposed skin as my shirt was eased up my chest. 

“Wha you doin?” I mumbled as I weakly swatted at the hand now sliding down my torso. 

“I want to look at you.” the blond’s smooth voice ghosted past my ear and I sighed at the sensation of his breath on my skin. Tiredly I nodded, if he wanted to look at my body for something to do while he laid with me as I slept and he didn’t, that was fine with me. So I started to settle back into sleep until his fingers were under the waistline of my pants and pushing them down. 

“What are you doing?” I asked again, more alert than before as my hand now grabbed his wrist to stop him. I opened my eyes to look over at him sitting up next to me though a bit further down the bed so his body wasn’t blocking the bathroom light from reaching me. 

“I told you, I want to look at you.” he smiled almost innocently and something already told me not to trust it. It wasn’t that I minded being naked in front of him and if he weren’t my lover, him wanting to stare at my naked body while I slept might be weird but he was so I didn’t really mind that either. My eyes flicked to the camera for a moment to note that the red light wasn’t on which meant he’d already turned it off, probably when he leaned over me a moment ago. He was probably bored just sitting here with me and I didn’t want him to leave to look for something to do and I really didn’t mind, it wasn’t like we haven’t seen each other and slept naked together already. I didn’t see the harm in it. I sighed and let his wrist go, instead lifting my hips slightly so he could take my pants off then he reached up to help me out of my shirt too rather than just having it rolled up my chest. I laid back and settled into my pillow, enjoying the easy way his hand slid up my thigh before his fingers stretched over my stomach. It wasn’t a sexual touch, it was an explorative caress, but still. 

“Don’t try to start anything, I’m still tired.” I spoke through a yawn, wanting to roll onto my side but I stayed on my back so Wesker could have his view. 

“I make no promises.” he responded with a teasing voice and I chuckled before starting to slowly drift off again with one of the other man’s hands slowly trailing soothing paths over my body. 

I started to wake up again to a low hum and a sound I could only register as being wet. I didn’t want to be awake yet and planned to tell Wesker to stop whatever he was doing when my sleep heavy brain processed the familiar sound of moaning and a slick hand sliding over skin. I’ve jerked off enough to know those sounds. Now mostly awake, I opened my eyes and was beholden to the sight of naked Wesker still sitting in the same spot he was before, though now the hand not resting on my thigh was stroking his own erection with a slow and methodical pace. Now fully awake and interested, I moved one of my arms under my head to prop it up a little for a better view. 

“You have my attention.” I told him, my voice a little hoarse after just waking up. He chuckled and I joined as he moved to sit against the headboard so I could turn onto my side and lay my head against his stomach. This was a much better view. He settled one arm over my shoulders, his fingers rubbing my arm as his other hand continued to rub his dick only several inches from my face. “How long have you been at this?” I asked as my hand slowly trailed from his knee up his thigh. Unlike when he was touching me earlier, this was a very sexual touch and he exhaled deeply at the sensation. 

“A while.” he stated absently as his eyes watched my fingers move from his thigh to his stomach then to his chest. I started to sit up next to him as my fingertips slid up his neck to his cheek where I applied a little pressure to turn his head to me so I could kiss him. The kiss was slow at first, my tongue barely touching his lips before he eagerly opened his mouth to me and though there was heat there wasn’t the same urgency we had made out with during our sexual activities before. I loved the taste of the other’s moan on my tongue as I heard his pace pick up a little more and when I pulled out of the kiss to look down at his masturbating, his head tipped back as he let out another. “Chris.” my name was a low whisper from his lips and it turned me on so damn much. My own cock had already been hardening from this pleasant wake up but I didn’t touch myself yet, taking enough pleasure with my focus on Wesker’s actions. 

Knowing the blond had a sensitive spot just behind his ear, I turned my head to lick the spot and breathe on the now moist area. He shuddered and groaned as he turned his face away from me though that only gave me more access. I repeated my actions but this time I simultaneously dug into his inner thigh with my nails. I felt his muscles tense and he leaned forward away from me slightly as a reflex. I chuckled as I noticed his hand was moving faster now. I moved down the bed to be a little in front of him on my knees with my hands on his thighs as I leaned over him to capture his lips again. Just as my nails started to press into his skin I felt his free hand wrap around my throat, applying pressure with just the tips of his fingers at the sides of my neck. I gasped in surprise just as his grip tightened and my hands instinctively went to his wrist as my head began to feel light and the edges of my vision started to darken. I wasn’t afraid, the heightened awareness the deprivation sent through my body intensified the desire I already felt and my dick throbbed as it hardened to the point of pain. Wesker was chuckling low and alluring by the time he loosened his grip and I panted when I was allowed air again. 

“It won’t work Chris.” he stated smugly, referring to my attempt to confuse his body with the mixture of pleasure and pain. 

“You’ll get used to it.” I smirked back, sure with enough time I could get his body to accept the pain I was able to cause as a part of the pleasure. 

“Promises, promises.” he replied dangerously as he released his own shaft to reach for mine but I stopped him. 

“I’m not done with you yet.” I told him mischievously and he tilted his head curiously. I was sure of myself when I said it but as I made a show of seductively lowering my body down his… the nervousness was hitting me more. He spread his legs for me as I moved lower until I was lying on my stomach between them, one hand under me to keep me up and his dick in the other. I took my time admiring his penis, the way the light made the slick wetness of his own saliva on it stand out. I looked back into Wesker’s eyes as I licked a slow line from the base to the tip, wanting a taste of it. I noticed the way his entire body shivered and the way his cock twitched against my lips. I was breathing a little harder now, excitement and nervousness rolling in my gut. I wanted this but I’d never done it before- never really even thought I would. It should be fine though, I doubted Wesker ever had a blowjob anyway so it would be a learning experience for both of us. Plus he’d already had quite a bit of stimulation so it shouldn’t take hours to get him off. “Tell me when I do something you like or don’t like, okay?” my voice relayed my anxiety and his hand gently touched my cheek. 

“Why are you hesitating now?” he seemed more amused than agitated and I sighed, unintentionally getting him to shudder again as my warm breath caressed his wet cock. I grinned at the accident and rubbed my hand up and down his length to keep it wet. 

“I’ve never done this before so don’t judge my lack of skill.” the statement only made him chuckle. 

“You’ve never doubted your skills before.” 

“That’s a load of shit and you know it.” I retorted and he rolled his eyes. There were plenty of times I doubted myself over lots of things. Sure I’ve always been confident in my abilities especially as the years went on but even now I faced challenges I questioned my capability against. 

“Fine, I’ve never doubted your skills.” he corrected and my lips pressed into a hard line as I thought about that, my eyes moving back to the stiff erection I held as I idly stroked it. There were times I used to think Wesker questioned my competence, especially after a mission that went wrong and I thought it was my fault. But if he had any serious doubts about my skills or my capability to handle my position in STARS, surely he would’ve replaced me with someone he could trust in our dangerous job. And if he ever doubted my abilities in all the years I continued to get in his way then he was a fool and I knew Wesker was no fool. 

“Alright, I’ll give you that one.” I nodded my agreement. “But those are skills I practiced a lot to be as good as I am.” I admit I may have been stalling for time though his dick still looked so tasty… a thought I never imagined I would have ever had before coming in here with Wesker. I was surprised when his fingers moved over mine so I looked up at his demanding smirk and lustfully narrowed glowing orange eyes just as he pushed his tip to my closed lips. 

“Get to practicing then.” his sultry tone combined with his insanely erotic expression stirred my brain into mush and instantly allowed desire to win over my anxiety. As my lips parted, a needy whine escaped me just before I took the blond’s cock into my mouth and sealed my lips around the head. 

I still had no idea what I was doing, my scattered brain searched for what women have done to me that I liked. I moved my head further down his length, slowly and experimentally to see how far into my throat I could take him before either I couldn’t breathe or I gagged from the uncomfortable intrusion. Even once I had to pull away from him entirely to suck in a sharp breath, I hadn’t even gotten him halfway in. I was a little discouraged but told myself I couldn’t expect to be great at this my first time and his taste had me wrapping my lips back around him hungrily. He tasted so fucking good- I wasn’t sure how his dick could taste so different from the rest of his skin, though I also thought the rest of him tasted great too, but damn it did. I used my tongue as well, knowing I liked it when some women had swirled their tongues around me as they moved and I noticed Wesker tense and moan louder when I started so I continued doing it. I couldn’t get very much of him since he had an impressive length and I was too new at this to be engulfing him with every bob of my head so I used my hand to follow under the motion of my mouth to rub the rest of him that I couldn’t reach. 

His hands touched my face, my neck, my shoulders- any part of me he could reach as he leaned his head back against the wall and watched me work him. He occasionally talked me through what parts he was enjoying and what he didn’t much care for so I would adjust to make it as pleasurable for him as I could even if it was at my own discomfort. He didn’t like it when I tightened my grip, he didn’t like it when I slowed too much, and he didn’t like it when my teeth lightly scraped him- it was an accident as I was learning how wide I needed to keep my mouth open. He liked it when I used my tongue, he liked it when I twisted my hand as I jerked him off, and he liked it when I pulled away for more air. Not because he knew I needed to breathe or anything but because I wouldn’t stay idle in my short breaks. I’d look him in the eye as I licked up the underside of his entire length and swirled my tongue around his head before trying again to deep throat him. It was intense and he couldn’t stay still when I did it, his fingers gripping harder at whatever part of me he was touching and his knees bending up as if to do something only to straighten again. I knew the reaction of just needing to move as if movement could somehow ease the strength of the sensation even though he didn’t actually want it to stop. I’d done it myself before and I was thrilled I could make him feel that good. So I didn’t do it too often that way he couldn’t get used to it, keeping that intensity a surprise spike of pleasure. 

I felt intoxicated with the sound of my name in his moans of pleasure. It kept me going even as my jaw started to get sore and I had to switch hands when my fingers felt stiff. I occasionally glanced up at him when I felt I needed a bit of motivation and the sight of his slightly parted lips as he panted, the bit of sweat on his neck, and the pink along the bridge of his nose was enough to set a newfound determination alight in my body. The sheer sexual enjoyment I got from the evidence of what I was doing to him vibrated my lips with a moan of my own which caused his abs to spasm with the pleasurable sensation of the hum around his cock. 

I took a certain amount of enjoyment giving oral to a woman but it was more about knowing I was making her feel good and it wasn’t a type of enjoyment that I got pleasure from. I used to think it was like that for everyone, oral was something you did for your partner even though you didn’t really get anything out of it for yourself. But this … I was actually feeling physically good sucking Wesker off and having a lot of fun too- way more fun than I ever thought was possible. However, after so long I did start to wear down and my movements slowed. My jaw went from sore to painful from being open like this for a long period of time, the muscles in my neck weren’t used to this constant motion and were now objecting, and even switching hands back and forth when one needed a break wasn’t helping the tiredness in my arms. Wesker noticed and called my name in a more careful manner than the moans he’d been preaching my name with before so I looked up at him though I kept moving. 

“It’s alright if you need to stop.” he said and I did consider it but honestly… I didn’t want to. Yeah I was hurting and my body wanted to take his offer of rest but as I said, I was having fun and I wanted more of his taste- his full taste, I wanted his cum. I shook my head just enough to get my meaning across and stubbornly tried to deepthroat him again but had to stop short this time when I felt I might gag from the depth. When I pulled off of him this time to rush needed air into my lungs, the blond’s hands cupped my cheeks and tilted my head up as he leaned down to press his lips to mine. His tongue was cool against mine and I melted into his non-demanding touch. One of his hands fell away from me and I heard the slick sounds of him rubbing himself again. I forced myself away from his distracting kiss and looked between us to see he was indeed using his hand to replace my mouth. “Thank you for that but I can finish myself while you rest.” he said it without accusation or insult and I sighed because especially now that my jaw was getting a break, I almost didn’t want to keep going anymore. Besides… watching Wesker touch himself was hot too. 

“Fine.” I breathed as I sat up though I remained between the older man’s legs. I kept watching him as I stretched my arms, cracked my neck, and rubbed at the sides of my mouth and along my jaw. 

“You too.” he called with a slight nod downward at my body and I knew he wanted me to touch myself as well. I smirked and moved my legs over his so my feet rested at either of his sides, spreading my legs to make my entire body open right before his eyes. Even as I got more tired I hadn’t lost any of my excitement over what we were doing so my erection stayed so it was on full display for Wesker’s gaze and gaze he did- possessively. His light orange eyes shone as they greedily consumed me, fueling his hand’s motion as he pleasured himself to the sight of my bare body basically on offer to him. I used one still tired arm to hold myself up behind me as I leaned back and used the other to teasingly trail from my neck downward, my fingers spread seductively over my own skin as they reached my abdomen. The blond growled when he didn’t get what he wanted and my fingers didn’t grip my cock, instead moving down one thigh. The next growl he let out was one more of yearning as my nails raked red lines back up to my hip. “Damn you.” he huffed and I shuddered at the curse, even the rarity of him swearing was somehow exciting to me right now. So he got what he wanted. 

My hand was warm and familiar around my shaft, stroking it the way I knew I liked. My imagination wasn’t needed with the person of my most heated desires sitting in front of me with his own dick in hand. I masturbated to him as he masturbated to me. Even this was a first for me, whenever I had sex with someone that’s what it was- sex, or at least we would be touching each other rather than ourselves. I’d never masturbated with another person and even this was fun with Wesker. I laughed at the thought and when he briefly gave me a questioning look, I leaned forward and pulled him into a kiss. 

“Cum for me.” I whispered against his mouth and he groaned in response before biting my lip. I whimpered at the pain his teeth gave me and relished his tongue soothing it away a moment later before plunging into my mouth. Just as I was starting to feel the tension building in my abdomen, Wesker retreated just far enough to speak. 

“I want your mouth- I’m close.” the desperate words sent the same thrill through me that I felt while sucking him off and I eagerly hurried to reposition myself onto my knees in front of the blond. I gave him my mouth with all the excitement I had the first time I started and the knowledge of how my lover liked it. My jaw hadn’t rested enough not to ache at doing this again so soon but I didn’t care. Wesker was close- he was going to cum and I wanted to make it happen. I wanted to taste him- I needed it! A forceful hand on my head pressing me down his length had me in panic mode as I choked from the sudden obtrusion too deep into my throat. I quickly batted at his arm to get his hand away from my head as I came up to cough and breathe. 

“Don’t do that!” I exclaimed even as he verbally objected to my absence. “You can’t grab my head- you’ll actually suffocate me!” I continued but it was clear he wasn’t listening as he grabbed my shoulder instead and urged me back down. 

“Fine- fuck, just- keep going!” he mindlessly agreed as he fidgeted in need. I knew he was on the cusp of release and I suddenly took away the source of pleasure. It was kind of an asshole thing to do but it was also an asshole thing to suddenly force his dick that far down my throat… maybe one day that would be okay… maybe even hot… but I was still new to this so it actually hurt in a not sexy way. Regardless, I moved to suck his dick again to finish him, having to work him back from the unintentional edging. It was easy for me to fall back into my desire for him, it was always easy for him to make me need him even when he wasn’t trying. His fingers dug into my shoulders and his head tipped back as he moaned and called my name. His hips thrust upward enough to make me not go as far but due to his movement I was still taking more of him than I would be if he was still. I didn’t really mind though as his cock twitched against the inner walls of my mouth and I tasted the change just before he came as if in warning. “Chris!” I got my second warning as I was already pulling back so just his head was still in my mouth that way the heated substance he spilled was onto my tongue rather than in my throat. It came heavier and faster than I was expecting- I swallowed the first shot without really tasting it but I couldn’t get the second down before the third came and I couldn’t hold it all in my mouth. I held Wesker’s cock in my hand as I moved my head back to stop the spurt of more thick liquid from crowding my mouth as I finished ingesting what was already given to me. More of his cum touched my cheek and shoulder before dribbling over his head onto my fingers. I gulped in air for what felt like the first time in too long, feeling the remainder of Wesker’s cum dripping from my lips and sliding down my chin though I quickly held a hand up to catch it. It was too strong, it overwhelmed more of my senses than just taste- I was full of Wesker… and I loved it. 

We were both panting as I looked up at him in a satisfied daze at his blazing yellow eyes. I don’t know why but I moved the hand coated in semen and smeared it across my chest, the heat was comforting and I rather liked the idea of being covered in Wesker’s cum. I think he liked it too because he hummed an approving sound as he leaned back against the headboard and started to relax though his eyes never left me. But I wasn’t finished and now I really wanted more attention. I used the same hand still covered with Wesker’s fluid to stroke myself again, the new improvised lubrication making the action even sexier. 

“Wesker.” I moaned his name as I returned to pleasuring myself under his watchful gaze. I rose myself higher on my knees as I moved closer to him until I could lean my body onto his, my chest still heaving against his as his breathing steadied. I was half expecting him to want me to move since he couldn’t see me like this but he remained still as if thinking something over. Before I could even think to ask why he was hesitating, I felt his hands gently touch my back before carefully sliding down to my ass. My next breath shook in anticipation as he repositioned his arms to approach me from the sides rather than the top that way his fingers could reach some of the bruising. I didn’t flinch when he pressed, in fact I barely noticed the pressure- okay I noticed it a lot but not in a bad way. Before I didn’t care where he was touching me but now I was desperate for him to touch me one place in particular. 

“More.” I demanded softly only for Wesker to stick his fore and middle fingers into my open mouth to shut me up. At least that was my first thought but the second that crossed my mind had my tongue dashing over every bit of his skin. Even with where I wanted those fingers to go, I was still disappointed to have them removed from my mouth. Whatever complaint I had died in my throat when his lathered fingers did tenderly touch my asshole instead. Excitement coursed through me but he wouldn’t press in! I knew trying to rock back onto them wouldn’t work before they were even inside me so I pressed myself closer to him in the hopes that he would understand that I was ready. But he just rested his chin on one of my shoulders and seemed to make himself comfortable as he waited. Suddenly my hand didn’t feel like enough- I needed any part of him inside me now so why was he still stalling? “Please!” 

“Please what?” his voice was dark and taunting and if I looked at him I knew he would be wearing that sadistic smirk I didn’t like outside of a sexual context. I knew what he wanted and like the patient asshole manipulator he was, he knew how to make me give it to him. Next time I would make him wait- you know what? No- not this time! I could be patient and show some damn self control too! 

“Damn it Wesker!” I growled at him before biting into the spot of his neck that happened to be under my mouth. He grunted at the pain but didn’t move away or try to get me off of him as I bit harder. I didn’t draw blood, not that I was trying to, but I was content with the crescent shaped indents in his reddened skin. I moved back just enough to face his orange glare with my own. “Give me… what I want.” I managed to demand between pants. We glared each other down for a tense moment, the only sound between us was the slow slick noise of my hand moving idly along my cock but it really wasn’t doing it for me anymore. I needed Wesker’s fingers… if not more than that. Then the blond smirked dangerously. 

“As you wish.” he suddenly thrust both fingers into me at once and I cried out as I leaned completely into him again, both of my hands now holding tightly to his shoulders for stability. It hurt, not much but a bit, less from the damage caused the other day and more from the sudden intrusion my body still wasn’t used to. But he was inside me and that fact alone still made it feel good. Though I wanted more later which meant we had to take it easy. He gave me what I wanted so now I would return the favor. 

“Please, my god… no more damage.” I murmured to him and he sighed as if the words were some kind of relieving salve on a burn. Then he nodded more to himself and slowly took his fingers out of me. 

“You’re right, I’m sorry.” 

“No,” I shook my head. “keep going, just be nicer about it.” I told him with a warning undertone I hadn’t even intended that spoke of misfortunes to befall him if he actually did stop. He chuckled and slowly inserted a single finger back into me. 

“As you wish.” he repeated though his voice held some form of reverence now. He started slow and only sped up, added the other finger, and pressed deeper when I gave the indication that I was ready for it. Already having been so worked up, it didn’t take long for me to return to the edge of release. The coil in my gut tightened until I felt like I might just fold into myself but Wesker’s body was there to keep me from collapsing. Knowing how incredibly close I was now, his other hand wrapped around my dick and barely needed to do anything before I climaxed with a sharp yell. He didn’t even complain as I bit into his neck again to stifle myself as my mind blanked over with white. His hands rubbed my back as I calmed down from my ecstasy and I slowly caught my breath for the first time all morning. I felt the heat of my cum on our stomachs, unable to reach our chests with how I closely pressed to the blond man I was not to allow anything to come between us. I just came and I felt tense and relaxed at the same time… satisfied and yet still wanting more. It was far too sticky as I eventually separated from Wesker and as I stared at the white on his stomach, I smiled as I rubbed my hand into it to smear up his bare chest. He gave me an enduring look as his eyes lightened again but weren’t quite yellow. “Now we can both try to fit into your shower.” I laughed at that and nodded to accept the challenge before kissing him. “We’re having sex later.” he stated as fact and I laughed again. 

“Yeah, we are.” I confirmed, already looking forward to it. 

… … … 

I stirred the new ingredients together, lightly scraping the sides of the bowl to fold the outer parts of the sauce into the center to get better combined as well. Everything mixed well and I soon called it done, slowing my hand before stopping and setting the bowl down… only to have my ex captain peer over my shoulder once again . 

“It’s not done, keep going.” Wesker sighed at me and I groaned in complaint. 

“It is done!” I exclaimed as I gestured into the bowl. That was the third time he corrected me! It wasn’t like carbonara was all that difficult to make- it wasn’t like I was doing stuff wrong, he just insisted on adding his touch of perfection! He corrected the way I cracked the eggs, he didn’t really say I was doing that wrong since I know how to crack a fucking egg but he did insist on showing me a “quicker and more efficient way to do it”. Then he didn’t like how I beat the eggs- said it was too aggressive. Now this. Why wasn’t I watching the pasta and cooking the bacon if he didn’t like my methods for the sauce? “It’s all mixed, why do I have to keep going?” I exclaimed as the blond removed the cooked bacon from the pan onto a waiting plate. 

“Just because it’s mixed doesn’t mean it’s ready. We’re looking for a smooth consistency which it’s currently not. So keep going.” he instructed so on I went though I sighed over it. I wasn’t the best cook around but I cooked well enough and I didn’t think having it completely smooth really mattered. But Wesker was, hands down, the better chef between us so I would listen to him. By the time he finally gave his approval of it being done, he finished cutting up the bacon and dumped it all into my bowl to have me once a- fucking -gain mix the sauce. He moved on to checking the pasta and readying the strainer in the sink. Once I thought everything was mixed well enough I stopped and though he peered over, he didn’t get on me to keep going again. I was pretty sure he could tell if he did I would’ve punched him for all his micromanaging. I watched him turn off the stove and carry the pan to the sink, spilling its contents into the waiting strainer. Steam rose up into his face though he held it slightly to the side to see around it. He passed the now empty pan to me so I put it back on the stove, away from the still heated burner to cool off. 

“Hey Wesker?” I called to catch his attention and he hummed to acknowledge me. “What’s your favorite memory with me?” I wasn’t sure where the question came from, or I guess maybe I did. I’d been thinking of how things between us have progressed. My view on my own sexuality only started to shift after I met him though even as I masturbated to thoughts of him I never imagined not being in the dominant role since that was what I was used to. I didn’t think about it which meant I never thought about whether or not I would be any good at it or like doing it. And I did- so much. If you told me back in STARS that I would enjoy sucking Wesker’s dick and letting him fuck me, I would have been nervous and hesitant but maybe open to the idea after some thought. If you told me that a few months ago, I might have shot you for the sick joke. Thinking about how my thoughts of all this and us in general have changed over the many years we’d known each other, I thought of the memories we’d made together both good and bad. I picked out a few highlights and wanted to know what he would consider highlights in all our history as well. His eyes shifted to me for a moment then back to what he was doing as he gently shook the strainer to get more liquid out. 

“You won’t like the answer.” 

“So?” he chuckled at my casual response to what I knew now was not going to match any of my favorite memories with him. He carried the strainer to where I’d left the bowl holding the sauce and eased the pasta into it without making a mess. When he held the now empty strainer out for me, I took it from him and tossed it into the sink and didn’t miss the irritated glance shot at me for the unnecessary noise. 

“You took me very much by surprise during our encounter in Russia.” I groaned, already knowing what he was talking about and very much disagreeing. My reaction only made his smirk widen as he started to stir everything together so the noodles were covered with the creamy off white mixture. I knew he wasn’t talking about the actual mission at the Umbrella facility since we didn’t really run into each other there but we had a run in not long before that in a small village where the T-virus had been leaked. Jill and I were investigating and looking for information on Umbrella, we didn’t know Wesker was also there doing the same thing until after he tried to kill us. “I wasn’t sure what I was hoping for when I locked you and Jill in that silo but I was very impressed with how you created that explosion to get out.” 

“We had a child with us!” I argued, knowing he had to have seen her when he saw us going in. He only shrugged and I knew he didn’t care anymore about her now than he had way back when he took her hostage for her key to the safe he was trying to get into. Anna was the sole survivor of the village and she led us to the silo where all the other townsfolk had gathered but they had already turned which meant we were in a small area filled to the brim with the infected undead. We tried to get out because there were just too many of them but we then discovered the door had been mysteriously jammed from the other side. Me and Jill were both running out of ammo pretty quickly picking off zombies. It wasn’t until I had the quick idea of spilling the flour, shoving all of us into a compact freezer, and chucking my handgun at the hanging lightbulb to create a spark to ignite the fine powder into an explosion that we escaped. Wesker had been there to congratulate and nearly praise me for what I had done to survive, seeming both disappointed and impressed. 

“I enjoyed the reminder of how crafty you can be.” 

“Your favorite memory with me is one where you tried to kill me?” I folded my arms and glared at him though I wasn’t actually angry since I already knew that’s just how Wesker was. Still, it was pretty much asinine bullshit. He couldn’t pick something happier? Even through all the bloodshed and betrayal that clouded our history even I could still remember the good times… though this man was a sadist so his idea of a “good time” was… yeah I guess him almost killing me would be a good time to him. 

“I warned you that you wouldn’t like it.” he stated, still wearing a smirk though there was a sick fondness to it. I sighed and grabbed two plates to set within his reach so he could dish us both up some food which he did and passed the first plate to me and kept the second. “I was pleasantly surprised to see you, you know.” he stated as he grabbed two forks from a drawer before we made our way to the table. “It had been a few years since we’d last encountered one another and I wasn’t expecting you to be there.” 

“And your first thought was to lock me in a silo full of zombies?” we sat at our usual places, he passed me one of the forks, and we began eating. 

“I saw an opportunity and I took it.” he shrugged and I rolled my eyes at the very “him” answer. 

“And then you used me to deal with the hunters even though I didn’t have a weapon.” the explosion caused a collapse to the underground lab and the hunters that were being developed there got out. Wesker of course used this to distract us to buy himself some time to look for what he was there for. Jill shot one of them that had swiped at me to buy me enough time to run to the hummer to grab the grenade launcher. I finished them off and we went after Wesker to Anna’s house where he took her hostage for her key to her dad’s safe. 

“And just like in the silo, you found a way to survive.” he pointed out. “Before that at Rockford and the Antarctic, you survived. Later in various dangerous missions as the BSAA was formed, you survived.” I raised a questioning brow at him as I chewed what was in my mouth. “I’ve followed your career, both public information on the organization and some I had to put a little effort into gaining.” my look of questioning turned to one of annoyance but I didn’t press it since I knew he had his ways as evidenced by his newest cohorting company having spies in the BSAA. I tried not to think about that too much since I knew we’d be able to catch whoever else wasn’t genuinely with the BSAA at the end of this month. “No matter what I did to you or what gets thrown at you by others, you never break. Truly between the two of us, sometimes I wonder if you’re not the indestructible one.” I leaned back in my seat and stared into his orange eyes as he took a bite of his food after talking. 

“That’s pretty heavy coming from you.” 

“Yes.” he agreed with a nod. “You didn’t think I would choose just anyone to be worthy of me, did you?” he smiled at me as his eyes lightened some more. “As far as I’m concerned you’re the pinnacle of humanity.” I didn’t know what to say to that… he was just sitting there eating as if what he said was common knowledge, as if it didn’t flip my perception of everything. I already knew he had more options than he could ever do with yet he chose me and while calling me “worthy of him” was arrogant, though it made sense given his heightened view of himself, it still made my heart flutter. Calling me the “pinnacle of humanity” was putting me on a pedestal I knew I didn’t deserve and would never live up to but he was implying that I was the closest thing to reaching his level without putting me in a different category. He was saying I was above the rest without separating me from them. It was sweet in a way that was so unique to him that I didn’t know what to do with it. 

“I knew you were charismatic when you wanted to be but damn if you aren’t a smooth talker too.” I said, unashamed to admit he stirred me up. The blond just smirked, a combination of devious and seductive. I bit my lip and looked away from him as I shook my head, resisting the urge to abandon my food to kiss him since I knew that’s what he wanted. I knew he’d only turn me away anyway, claiming the food would get cold or something, since he always took whatever chance to tease me he could. I tried not to think about the promise of sex later as I got back to my food and noticed the way the other’s smirk fell slightly when I didn’t make a move. Whether he was disappointed he wouldn’t get to tease me or that he was missing out on a kiss right now, I didn’t know, maybe both. 

“What have you picked as your favorite then?” he asked before taking another bite. 

“We’re excluding everything in here, right?” I figured we were since almost everything that’s happened between us during our time locked in here has been nothing short of amazing. The memories we were making now were likely to become favorites for both of us for a very long time to come. But that made it all too easy. He nodded in agreement to my unspoken thought so I contemplated it for a while as I continued eating. It definitely wasn’t anything from after the betrayal because there was just too much hatred and sorrow involved. So something from our STARS days… but which memory would be my favorite… did I have to pick only one? 

“Is it that hard to think of a good memory of me?” he asked after I hadn’t spoken for some time though I quickly shook my head. 

“No, I’m just trying to figure out which one I’d call my favorite.” I informed to ease the slight tension he’d spoken with. 

“It’s fine if you have more than one.” he told me as he relaxed again which told me it mattered to him that I had good memories with him. “To choose something more aligned with your idea of ‘good’, I also particularly enjoyed training in hand to hand situations with you.” he stated and I rolled my eyes. 

“That’s just because you were usually kicking my ass.” I commented but he shook his head. 

“Well, that may have been part of it.” he corrected. “But I found it…” his eyes slowly trailed up and down what he could see of my body. “ fun to physically wrestle you down in a way I didn’t find enjoyment in with the others.” he smirked at me and since I was looking closely into his eyes now I could see the way they softly emanated a dull shine. I understood that at least, on the days I wasn’t super focussed on the training or my mind would wander there was a certain “fun” to be had in the excuse to have so much physical contact with my captain while we were sweaty and panting for breath. 

“There’s no way you thought of it like that back then.” I suddenly stated, my tone a little shaky through the accusation. 

“To quote you from the other day, just because I didn’t realize it doesn’t mean it’s not true.” he countered and I puffed out a slow exhale as I tried to think of something to follow that up with. But he had me there, I’d already pieced together some of the hints from back then that he was interested in me so who’s to say that he didn’t have that kind of “enjoyment” from touching me even back then? 

“Okay, fine.” I relented and he nodded once in acceptance of his victory. “I see your hand to hand training and I raise you that whole thing we did while I was trying to get better at using handcuffs.” I laughed already as I recalled the times during our early STARS days that I tried to handcuff Wesker as practice to get faster at using the tricky things. The blond’s head tipped back for a moment as he thought about it before slowly nodding. 

“That was too soon for me to have thought anything of it at the time but looking back on it…” vivid orange eyes narrowed seductively a fraction as the blond’s grin became a little more predatory. “I think it could be entertaining to practice some more.” I blushed at his suggestive tone as the memories now flooded through me with heat. He was right, it was too soon for either of us to have developed any feelings or actual interest in each other. But that didn’t stop me from noticing how exceptionally good looking he was though that alone wasn’t enough to do anything to me. After I became fully attracted to him I did think about those handcuffing practices and how they often led to a lot of physical touching to get the other cuffed… and I used to think about trying it again just to get him on me. It was always different from the usual training because that was more serious whereas the handcuffing thing was… something bordering on playful. One of the first times I tried to take him by surprise, my captain turned the tables on me to pin me face down on my own desk as he handcuffed my hands behind my back. His groin had been pressed closely against my ass as he used his body to keep mine bent over… it was a memory I’d gotten off to before and now it was stirring me up again under Wesker’s lustful gaze. 

“I… didn’t bring any cuffs.” I told him sheepishly and his eyebrows turned up as a disappointed look crossed his face. “They would’ve been more effective against me than you.” Wesker seemed annoyed by that but nodded his agreement. 

“That’s a shame.” it was my turn to nod as I lectured past me for talking myself out of bringing handcuffs. I’d been thinking of all the “what if” situations and I considered what would happen if Wesker turned on me and handcuffed me to something while he did whatever he was planning on doing. Even if I managed to handcuff him, he’d be able to easily break them but if he managed to steal them and handcuff me, I’d be stuck. So I didn’t bring any. Looking back, it was a smart choice since I had no way of knowing that the two of us would ever reach the relationship we now have but still, I regretted not having handcuffs now. 

“Alright, there was that time we were both staying late in the office-” 

“Because you were too busy making a fool of yourself to do your work and I made you stay to finish, yes.” the blond corrected my casual use as if I just happened to stay late. I glared at him but said nothing since he was right. If we weren’t on an active case and it was time to head home, I was out the door with everyone else. That is, unless the captain was irritated that I hadn’t gotten enough of my work done due to messing around so he’d make me stay later to keep working. 

“And you sat at my desk to work with me and then fell asleep.” I finished the thought and Wesker sighed disapprovingly. Of course my “good time” was more of a “bad time” for him too. “It was one of the first times I got to be reminded that you were human like the rest of us- and don’t say that’s a bad thing because it was a really sweet moment for me.” the only reason I even noticed that he was asleep was because he stopped working. I looked over to him to see him leaning back in the chair he was using, his arms folded and his head tilted down as if he was just glaring down at the desk. I stared at him for a few moments waiting for him to react either to my staring or my lack of working but he didn’t. It wasn’t until I carefully waved a hand in front of his face that I realized he was asleep. 

“Since I was only human at the time, I will not argue.” he said that with irritation though. “If I’m recalling correctly, you finally woke me up when you were finished with your work and had draped your jacket over my shoulders.” he once again turned his teasing tone to me to get the attention off of himself. Not this time. 

“I couldn’t help tucking you in since you were so cute fast asleep like that.” I shot with a snicker and he scowled. Even before he fell asleep, I’d still say any time Wesker made me stay late and the few times he sat with me during those times were really nice memories. The office was almost peaceful when it was just the two of us after hours, sure it was because I kept my mouth shut not to piss the captain off further but he also seemed to ease up without having the whole team to watch. The silence wasn’t as stressful as it could be when he was angry with me during our shift, it was almost nice between us. Our quiet moments were some of the best. “You know back then it was pretty rare for me to be okay just sitting in silence with someone.” I told him after taking another bite of my food and he watched me curiously now, waiting for me to continue. “I don’t really like the silence. I’m not sure when that happened but traumatic events have worsened it. It ties into me not liking being alone either.” 

“Is that why you reach for me when you’re asleep?” he asked, more serious than playful but I chuckled anyway. 

“I do that to other people too.” I informed him since it was true. I didn’t reach for him because it was him, I reached for him because he was there. “According to Claire, I’ve done it since we were kids.” I shrugged and kept going, noticing how Wesker was giving me his full attention now even over finishing his meal. “Even just being home alone I had to have the tv on or something as background noise. With others I felt the need to talk even if there wasn’t anything to say but with you… I don’t know, there was something about silence with you that made it okay.” I stopped, not really sure how to explain the feeling. 

“You say all that with a past tense.” the older man pointed out and I sighed. 

“I still feel that way but I don’t really act on it anymore. Silence leaves too much room for me to think about all the terrible things I’ve been through and remember people I’ve lost. When I was younger, I didn’t want to think about those things.” I shrugged. “I wanted to be happy.” 

“Are you saying you don’t want to be happy now?” Wesker asked with a slightly teasing tone and I appreciated him trying to cheer me up a little but it didn’t work. 

“Now I don’t think I can be.” that got the slight smirk off his face and his eyes reddened with a sad confusion which made me almost regret saying it so I looked down at my plate. “Even when silence makes me uncomfortable, I let my mind wander to those dark places because I live there now. My entire life is about this fight and I’m never away from those dark places, it always seems like every day something new is being added to it. Now I just learn to manage it better.” we were silent for a minute though it wasn’t comfortable since my mind was circling back around to faces long dead. 

“You said it’s been nice to be away from it here.” the other called to get my attention. “You said you were happy just the other day.” he still seemed confused, like he didn’t understand the way I’ve been feeling all this time and how important those words had been. 

“That’s why it meant so much. I am happy here with you.” I smiled as I told him and as understanding crossed his face, he smiled too and I loved the way his eyes lightened almost all the way from red to yellow with that single statement. He made me happy in a world where I thought happiness was lost to me. Without more to add to that, he moved his hand onto the table and turned it over to offer to me. I accepted his hand, enjoying the way his thumb rubbed over my skin soothingly. He wasn’t great at using words to express himself but the warmth of his hand and the yellow of his eyes assured me he was happy with me too. 

~~~ 

Seminar 

I listened to the increased pace of my companion’s impatient foot tapping as the speaker droned on about the newest developments in their department. William sat forward in his seat, elbows on knees and hand clasped with his foot beating the ground as if it personally insulted him. I had half a mind to slam my hand down onto his leg to get him to stop. I wasn’t happy to be here either but making it everyone else’s problem wasn’t going to help us get out any quicker. I discreetly counted the beats of his tapping on my wristwatch, noting the difference between the sum of taps per minute as time stretched on. It was still an irritating sound that I wanted him to stop but at least it was something to do. 

“Enough.” the man on William’s other side finally growled at him only to be ignored. My associate had a nasty habit of dismissing those he found no use for, a sentiment I shared but at least I didn’t intentionally provoke a reaction from those around me. “Hey, I said stop!” the man whisper yelled as he forcefully pressed a hand to the dirty blond man’s leg. Even as I reached over him to snatch the stranger’s wrist, the younger researcher didn’t react. 

“I suggest you keep your hands to yourself to prevent a scene.” I told the man with an icy tone, needing someone to take my agitation out on even if just in a small way. My hand held his wrist tightly, my fingers pressing into a pressure point to make it seem more painful than my grip actually was. He flinched and held his other hand up in a pacifying manner. 

“Alright, alright.” I let him go and he inched a little farther from us as he massaged his wrist. I turned my glare to William though he didn’t seem to have even noticed the altercation he caused. I didn’t always step in when he got himself into trouble, I preferred to let him deal with the consequences of his own actions even if that meant he got beat up. I’d witnessed it before during our days at the training facility and thought he deserved every blow for speaking up at all against those that were looking for a fight. He did need to learn to keep attention off of himself and to pick his battles. I agreed he was above most others but telling that to their faces wasn’t in his best interest. However now wasn’t the place to allow an argument otherwise that may delay our departure which would have an impact on me and I would not allow delays. 

“You’re acting like a child again.” I informed him sourly as I crossed my arms, angered that he had once again needed me to get him out of a mess of his own creation. “And do quit your incessant tapping before I amputate your foot.” I threatened but he knew me well enough by now to know it was empty… mostly. I would threaten him and mean it but he knew I wouldn’t take his foot since that would make our work just a bit more difficult if he were confined to a wheelchair. He threw his hands up slightly in an annoyed gesture as he sat back against his chair now and also folded his arms. The tapping did thankfully cease. 

“Seriously, why are we here?” he questioned me again and I only sighed in response and went back to pretending to listen to the ongoing speech. I was in no mood for his continued repetition or I may just be the one to pick a fight with him. He’d asked that same question when we were first notified of the event and our expected attendance, twice more on the way here, and this was the third time since the seminar began. The speeches that were given about innovation and how Umbrella was “striving to save and improve the lives of every soul we touch” were laughable at best. I was sure at least some of the Umbrella staff at this seminar were genuine and fed their bleeding hearts to the deceit the company used to hide its true intentions. 

So why were we here? We - who knew better than to buy into all this false positivity put on for the public. We - who were working on creating a virus with the potential to do so much more than just kill every living being in this room, the city, the world. We - who had better places to be right now than stuck in a useless seminar for at least another three hours. I had no fucking idea. I was just as unhappy to be here as William and found it twice as pointless. Don’t get me wrong, I understood the purpose of the seminar, it was endlessly important for Umbrella to keep the facade of the well meaning pharmaceutical giant it was. Feeding the masses and its clients these assurances was entirely necessary. But it was a waste of time for people such as William and I to be here. There was a mix of Umbrella researchers, directors, assistants, clientele, and media personnel here. Of the hundreds of people in attendance, I couldn’t care less about at least eighty percent of them. Aside from myself and my companion, I counted only twelve other people I knew to be in the loop of Umbrella’s dark underbelly though there may be more that I was simply unaware of. Which meant, to my knowledge, the rest believed the lie that “our business is life itself”. 

We were told that directors and top researchers of all facilities were to attend, it was a formality. Wasn’t the Arklay Laboratory a secret one? What were we to say if someone asked which facility we worked from or what department of research we were in? My emails calling out the flaws in having those of us not in the light of the public attend these very public events went unanswered. So here we were, whether we liked it or not. The badges provided to us labeled us only as Umbrella researchers without listing our department or study which was at least consistent with everyone else’s name tags as well so we weren’t singled out. We just had to avoid talking business with all the people here that would want to talk business at this business seminar. As I stated, flawed . 

There would be a final intermission in about twenty minutes, another two hours of speakers were lined up, an after dinner, and then the event would be over. I was sure William agreed we weren’t sticking around for dinner so I just had to keep him out of trouble during this last break and all would be well. I sighed to myself as I went back to staring at the minutes ticking by on my watch, now with nothing to count alongside it. I was nearly twenty, I should not have to be playing babysitter for another adult man. At least it was only one grown child I had to supervise, I couldn’t imagine having to manage more.

Chapter Text

“It’s not that I don’t trust her with it, of course I do.” I corrected with a sigh. I was laying on my stomach on my bed, having thrown myself there once we retreated back to my room for the night though we kept talking. The conversation turned again to the BSAA and what happened with Jill, how we had to lie to her to get around revealing my doubts about our organization. Wesker turned off the camera with a comment that Jill couldn’t see us now so we could talk about it, then he sat at my side and even started rubbing my back. “It’s just that… I don’t know really, I mean she’s been with me through all of it and was at my side helping to build the BSAA. It’s just hard to imagine telling her that I’m doubting all of it.” 

“Would it not be better to express your concerns now rather than when avoidable issues become problematic?” the blond questioned helpfully as I folded my arms under my chin and closed my eyes so I wasn’t just staring at my pillows and headboard. 

“That’s just it though, a lot of my doubts have nothing to do with how things are being run or are things that bother me personally but I know are probably better for the organization as a whole.” 

“Such as potentially sacrificing you to prevent me from escaping.” the older man supplied and I groaned at the reminder. 

“It’s a great example.” I grumbled. “I wouldn’t care so much if I was being understandably thrown into a dangerous mission with a high likelihood of not coming back-” 

“You would find a way.” I ignored his interruption and continued. 

“I’m willing to die for our cause but that doesn’t mean I want to. I would never leave a man behind unless it was already too late or it was guaranteed to only get more people killed- and I would never make someone do something they weren’t willing to.” I explained, not bothering to hide how upset I was getting thinking about this again. “If I wanted out, I should be allowed to leave- I never planned on wanting out because I was willing to do this and see it through but still. I was told I wasn’t a prisoner here but that’s not what it feels like.” 

“It’s entirely likely you being forced to see this through was something like fine print when you chose to come in here.” 

“ Was it my choice to come in here?” I questioned, turning onto my side to look at him. His expression showed some confusion as if he thought I was accusing him of something and he was trying to figure out what. “Ever since I was denied exit, I’ve been wondering if they would have forced me down here regardless of my decision.” I clarified and his confusion went away since I wasn’t blaming him for this. He scooted closer to me and leaned to grab a pillow to move under my head before he resumed rubbing my back. I moved the pillow with me as I wiggled myself closer to his body until my stomach was touching his hip. Wesker’s eyes moved from me to the ceiling which I’d noticed was a habit of his when he was thinking deeply about something. He was trying to find an actual answer for me, it was nice. 

“When did you agree to the deal?” he asked as his orange gaze suddenly returned to me. Seeing where he was going with this, I pulled my phone from my pocket to look back at my call history… I tried to ignore the bad feeling churning in my stomach. I found the logs from the day after Jill had been brought into the hospital and found the call I placed to her room to tell her about the deal and my decision about it, the call I made just before that was to headquarters to officially give my okay on it. I relayed the time of the call to Wesker and… the bad feeling solidified into a stone in my gut that weighed me down when I watched his eyes quickly turn to- and even glow red. I knew what his anger meant. They told him the deal was on before I even called to confirm it. 

… … … 

My hand rose to rub at my face tiredly. I didn’t sleep very well. I blinked my eyes clear only to find myself staring at Wesker’s, unfortunately, fabric covered chest. My gaze trailed up his body to land on his sleeping face. I wasn’t sure when I fell asleep earlier, not feeling up to continue our talk after the harsh realization of what felt like a betrayal. I think Wesker had tried to assure me he wouldn’t have forced me to take the deal but the reminder that he would’ve found a way to escape with his life saving information instead shut him up. I knew what he meant though even if it was a technicality- he wouldn’t have physically forced me to do something I wasn’t willing to even if my refusal did have consequences, I would still have a choice. I remember rolling over away from Wesker and telling him I wanted to be alone and he hesitantly left. 

I have no doubt they told Wesker I had agreed to the deal early to avoid him trying anything and plenty of people could confidently know that I would have taken the deal but… what if I hadn’t? I fell into an unrestful sleep wondering if the BSAA would have physically forced me down here for the sake of getting that information. I wanted to believe no one would be willing to do that to me- or to anyone… but I wasn’t sure, there was a lot at stake. That was the worst part, I understood it. I would never do that to anyone but that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t cross my mind if it was for the betterment of the world. I didn’t believe in sacrificing one for the many, there always had to be another way. 

Wesker must have come back in after I fell asleep… he even covered me with the blanket from his bed to avoid having to wake me to get mine out from under me. I counted the days in my head since he’d last slept and it was about that time. I wasn’t mad at him, I wasn’t last night either, I just wanted to be alone for a while to process. But now I was regretting not realizing he was going to be sleeping which meant I missed out on cuddling with him all night without him getting bored but at least he still spent the night with me. Deciding to fix that now, I shifted closer to the blond. I was still further down the bed where I’d been laying earlier so I needed to move higher to be at the same level with him before pressing my body to his, carefully pushing him to lay on his back. I knew he’d wake up with all the movement but I was hoping he’d be able to fall back asleep once we were settled together. Sure enough, his still red eyes found me as I was shifting to half lay on top of him, my head half between his shoulder and his chest as my arm slung over his waist. He gave me a small smile and I was gifted with the sight of his eyes shifting to their usual orange shade when he was contently close to me before he closed them again. The arm I was laying over wrapped around me so his hand could rest on my shoulder, even squeezing me a little closer to him. His other hand found mine over his stomach and held it so I intertwined our fingers and closed my eyes too, hoping to get a little actual rest. 

But it didn’t happen. Now that I had woken up and started thinking about all this again, I just couldn’t get back to sleep. So I watched the red light on the camera in my room as I wondered what time it was and who was watching us now. Again, I was really hating that there weren’t any windows for me to be able to see any sunlight to at least guess the time with. I couldn’t tell if Wesker had managed to fall back asleep either, his breathing was as steady as ever and he looked at rest but that didn’t mean he was sleeping. It was still nice to be so close to him though. 

“Do you think they would have forced me down here if I had refused your deal?” I questioned in case the blond was actually awake. If he wasn’t and I was waking him up, that was fine too since it’s not like he needed to sleep in for anything and I’m sure he wouldn’t mind waking up to talk to me. 

“It’s not as if they could return to me to cancel after already confirming.” he answered smoothly, his voice not at all weakened by sleep as mine had been. I sighed and turned my head over to look at him though he still lay with his eyes closed, looking for all the world as if he truly was still asleep regardless that he had just spoken. 

“But do you think they would have physically forced me?” 

“I don’t believe it would have come to that. You knew what was at stake, others likely knew you’d agree and if you hadn’t… you’re stubborn but someone would have been able to talk you into it.” he reasoned and my expression grew a little irritated at his avoidance of my question. 

“Wesker.” he let out a reluctant exhale over my warning call as he opened his eyes though his gaze stayed straight at the ceiling ahead of him. 

“I don’t have enough information to accurately answer that for you and I don’t make uneducated guesses.” he explained as his red eyes turned down to me, the aggravating topic having soured his good mood. “Whether others would have been instructed to physically force you down here would depend on your new director, if that’s an order he would be willing to give, who he gave it to, and if they would be willing to go through with it.” I already knew that though that was the reason I asked him and needed some form of an answer, to help myself rationalize that it wasn’t just me trying to make myself feel better. “As a man who values justice above the legal system, you’ve always found yourself at odds with your superiors- myself included at times. With what you’ve been telling me it seems the BSAA is becoming too big to stick to the beliefs it was originally founded on.” 

“What do you mean?” I asked a bit cautiously, not really wanting this part to be confirmed by the often harshly realistic man. 

“It’s likely the earlier formation of the BSAA was looked to for guidance in matters concerning BOWs as something like specialists before the public was aware of the truth of bioterrorism and before there were officialized procedures for such things. I imagine you could walk into a situation and take command because no one else knew what to do.” I thought about that and slowly nodded. That was usually how it used to go down. I’d been around the world during various missions and in the early days I was treated like a joke, like I was some hunter of things that don’t exist only to have everyone turn to me when shit hit the fan. But as the existence of bioterrorism and BOWs became public knowledge, understanding spread, and procedures arose so too did more antibioterrorism groups. There were conflicting ideals and methods of handling situations and while we all wanted the same thing, it caused the need for regulation and rules to follow. Most of this was understandable and even agreeable but some of it was just like the rest of the legal system, flawed and allowed cracks for the bad guys to slip through. When the BSAA was a smaller group of “specialists” we were listened to even if we had to wait for realization to set in and by then bad things that could have been prevented had already happened. Now that the BSAA was an official worldwide military organization, we were called on during various stages of trouble depending on what skills were needed but now there were often a lot more legal hoops to jump through or red tape we ran into. 

Admittedly I didn’t have to personally deal with much of that, I was a soldier sent to stop trouble already started. But I was painfully aware of it, especially after what O’Brian had to do to ensure Lansdale was taken down since he had been aware of how the system worked and knew how to avoid being caught. O’Brian was a damn good man, a close friend, and the best director we could have had. He had to resort to trickery and rule breaking to catch the bad guy and paid for it. The system failed to bring the bad guy to justice and punished the good guy when he did what was needed. I recognized O’Brian acted in the wrong, there was another way to go about everything- he could have let the rest of us in on what was going on and we could have found a way to get Lansdale… but I also knew that he did what he thought was right and I couldn’t fault him for that. 

“The BSAA is now restricted by many rules and regulations you undoubtedly disagree with and while I know you still believe the BSAA to be ‘good’, every organization has a darker side and the bigger it gets makes more places for the corrupt ones to hide. It’s human nature, not everyone is as pure as you.” he added the last part a bit more playfully to try to lighten the mood but I just sighed over the truth to what he was saying even if it wasn’t new information to me. It just sucked having someone else say it, especially the extremely intelligent Wesker who was usually right about everything. A moment of silence passed between us before Wesker seemed to get back on track with the original question. “Had you been forced down here, I assure you I would have nullified the deal and let you leave.” I couldn’t help the skepticism that crossed my face and it made my old captain glare at me in irritation. “I wouldn’t care if it were someone else Chris, you know I would sacrifice a great number of unimportant individuals to serve my own purpose-” 

“Charming.” I cut in with a roll of my eyes. I don’t know if he thought the reminder of his evilness was supposed to make me feel better… no, it was more likely that he was just being open about what he thought about my situation. 

“ However ,” he continued, ignoring my interruption. “I know you understand that you’ve always been different.” 

“Right, I’m your favorite.” I didn’t say it with the sweetness I would have if I were in a better mood but it did somehow make me feel a bit better about things… even if being his favorite wasn’t always a good thing. 

“You are my favorite.” he confirmed before kissing the top of my head in full view of the camera and I managed a small chuckle, the pitch of it more lighthearted than even I was expecting. I wondered if he did that on purpose. 

“When I told you to break the deal so I’d be let out to go after Claire, you said you couldn’t.” I reminded him and he sighed heavily like he was hoping I wouldn’t have remembered that. 

“I knew you were acting irrationally and didn’t mean it… I was also selfishly refusing to cut our time short.” he admitted before his lips pressed together in a tight pout. “But if you had started this unwillingly and truly wanted out, I wouldn’t have made you stay because I was trying to set this up in a positive manner.” he stated with a solemn shake of his head and I smiled up at him. 

“I’d say this turned out pretty positively.” I said and he smirked back at me before turning his body, making me rotate until he was the one laying over me. 

“I’d say you’re correct.” then he kissed me, softly at first then more fiercely. I wasn’t sure if he was just trying to distract me since he didn’t want to talk about this anymore or if he just really wanted this- could very well be both. It was fine by me, I wanted this too so I deepened our kiss as I pressed my fingers into his back to get him closer to me. His weight on top of me was reassuring, his warmth comforting, and his tongue in my mouth exciting. I lowered my arms to his waist, digging my nails into his skin as I raised them up his back to bring his shirt up as well. He groaned lightly into my mouth and I bit his lip as he started to pull away from me. He tucked his head low and straightened his arms to allow me to pull his shirt free from his body. I sighed longingly when I felt his cool fingertips reach under my shirt to touch my stomach, teasing the fabric higher up my chest as his fingers prodded fading love marks across my skin. He shifted himself lower so his mouth could trace my collarbone, stopping often to create new marks he could stare lovingly at later. 

“Fuck, Wesker.” I moaned at the sensation of his lips on me, sucking teasingly at known sensitive spots. His arms slid under me as I curved my body up to press into him and he squeezed me even tighter to him, his erection rolling against my thigh which sent whole waves of heat over me. “Oh god…” I moaned again, my voice heavy with desire. 

“Are we just playing around or are we having sex?” his voice was pleading through the question. 

“Sex- we’re definitely having sex.” I answered with an urgent tone that made him groan with need. He spared just enough thought to the open door and active camera to stop himself from attacking and taking me right then. 

“Shut the door, I’ll get everything else.” he ordered before he was suddenly off of me so I hastily obeyed, kicking off of the mattress to rush over to the door. The red recording light on the camera was off before I had the door slammed shut which blocked out the light coming in from the living room. We weren’t left in total darkness however since Wesker already had the bathroom door open and turned on that light so we could see each other. When I turned around to get back to the bed, I was instead met with Wesker’s body crashing into mine which forced my body harshly back into the wall. His lips were on mine, heatedly devouring me as his fingers pressed painfully into my hips especially with the small bottle of lube in his palm that I worried might break under the pressure. He was over excited again and I didn’t mind one bit. 

“W-wai…” I could barely get a single sound out around his tongue so I bit him as I pushed him back. He growled at me over the pain but at least backed off a little. “Wait.” I told him strictly. 

“Chris…” he complained, his tone needy and his eyes pleading. It was rather cute seeing him so desperate for me, I understood the feeling with how badly I wanted him too. But this was important. 

“Believe me I want nothing more than to let you fuck me until I can’t remember my own name-” Wesker’s lips on mine again cut off what I was saying and for a second I forgot what my point was as I wrapped one arm across his shoulders and used my other hand to tug him closer by the hem of his pants. “Buuut…” I continued as I pushed him away just a bit more, loving the way he groaned in disapproval. “I also really want to have more sex with you so we need to calm it down a bit this time, remember?” I finally got out and Wesker sighed before his body slumped against mine in disappointment so I held him with a smile at how utterly adorable he was acting. 

“What do you suggest?” he asked so I thought about it as my eyes fell onto my desk and desire pooled in my gut. I eased the blond off of me so I could move to my desk, pushing my pants below my hips as I turned to sit on top of it to better be able to take my pants completely off. 

“If you start banging the desk into the wall too much then slow down, okay?” I told him before I gave my best sexy look as I spread my legs to expose myself to my old captain as an invitation. But he didn’t take it… he just stared at me with a lustfully analytical gaze as he took in every part of my naked body. Of course he’d seen me like this before but if he viewed me like I viewed him, it would never be enough. I was open and on offer for him and by the forced calm in his light orange eyes, he looked like he wanted to take his time enjoying his meal rather than devouring me like last time. Even if he did have to force himself to be more mindful of how hard he was fucking me, we would both still surely enjoy it thoroughly and then we’d get to do it again a lot sooner rather than having to wait days for me not to be in real pain. I exhaled an excited breath as his fingers touched my bare knee and trailed up my thigh only to tighten around my hip. He tilted his head as he stepped close enough between my legs that my erection pressed to his abdomen, watching me squirm in my own forced calm as I waited. I was trying hard not to just grab him and pull him closer until he was inside me. We were taking it easier this time. 

“Settle down.” he instructed as if it was that easy… but I actually wasn’t sure if he was talking to me or to himself. His lips found my shoulder first, a light kiss that moved higher to my neck. I felt his hips slightly move away from me as his free hand pushed his pants down until I could feel his hardened dick rubbing against mine. I whimpered my desire as I reached between us to wrap my fingers around his stiff length, stroking it slowly until Wesker’s lips finally reached mine. My head swam as we made out and I jerked the other man off. He kissed me deeply and hungrily but the urgent heat like I would disappear any second was missing, replaced by a profound connection I couldn’t put into words. It was desire and trust… I felt whole in a place I once felt loneliness. 

When he eventually slid into me it was gradual and I adjusted easily to him, his name on my lips praised him as some kind of higher power and he inhaled my every word. I wasn’t aware when the banging started, my mind having slipped into the realm of incoherent need as Wesker thrusted into me over and over and over again. But I was highly aware of each slide in and out of my body, I felt the way his arousal pressed into me and the way my inner walls clung to him. There was no separation between us. One of his hands held onto the edge of the desk with my leg hanging over his arm and his other hand was around my midsection with his palm rested on my back and his long fingers splayed across my skin just to be able to touch more of me. My arms were around his neck for stability lest I fall back against the wall and lose this closeness. We both panted in the heat and excitement of what we were doing. I wasn’t sure what was different about this time from our first but looking into his soft glowing yellow eyes, I knew he felt it too. It wasn’t just sex with feelings attached, there was a deeper sense of comfortable acceptance between us now. We were making love… we were in love. And it felt like the sweetest thing in the world. 

I closed my eyes as I brought our mouths together, my tongue encircling his like there wasn’t a difference between the muscles. There was no individual belonging to be found here, we belonged to each other and it felt like the world was suddenly right. The rest of the world with all its terrors and wrongness was out there. In here was nothing but safe reassurance and acceptance. In here I was loved and cherished. I belonged in here with him, anywhere with Wesker. 

I tasted his sweat as I sucked on his skin to form temporary bruises I could only enjoy for a short while until they faded away entirely. I dug my nails so deeply into his back and shoulders as I yelled his name and basked in the conflicted reaction he gave between the pain and pleasure. I kept one arm around his neck as I leaned back and held myself up with my palm on the surface of the desk in order to roll my hips into each of the blond’s quick motions though they notably weren’t inhumanly quick. His voice moaning my name and telling me how good I felt were waves of heat in my already heavily stimulated veins. His wandering touch was a trailing sensation of pleasure to my craving skin. His mouth on my body was a jolt of electricity looping my nerves in a constant cycle of excitement. His erection ever filling me was a repetitive motion that rocked both of us in time with the other, synchronized in our enjoyment we shared in this intimacy. 

When his hand slipped off the desk from the sweat on his palm and he dropped my leg, I laughed over it as he gave me an apologetic look. He shook his head and chuckled along with me as he righted himself. I placed a hand on his damp cheek and moved my thumb in small circles under his still yellow eyes. His gaze softened as his hand gently caressed mine over his face and after a moment his expression became more playful just before he bit the side of my hand. I trembled eagerly at the pain of his teeth but he was careful not to break skin though he obviously wanted to leave yet another mark. He looked over the irritated red crescent shape he’d left on my skin and smirked before kissing it. His eyes were still deviously narrowed as he looked back at me but there was a loving fondness that was so honest it filled me with even more warmth in the overheated room. 

I lost track of time. I was laying on my back on top of my desk with my hips held in the air by Wesker’s arms. The only thing keeping my head from hitting the wall with each hard thrust was my hand on the cool wall above me, pushing back to rock my body onto him as he moved into me. I was only vaguely aware of the edge of the desk biting into the wall because it was louder than it had been before and I was closer to it. But I didn’t care, I didn’t think it was enough to prevent us from doing more after this so why should I? 

I came for the first time with my hand still pressed into the wall to protect my head, my other reaching to touch Wesker’s gorgeous face with my thumb resting against his parted lips for him to switch between sucking on and biting. I came for the second time with Wesker leaning on top of me and his arms wrapped under my head with one hand between my skull and the wall to protect me from the now crushing force of his thrusts. My legs wrapped around his waist to keep my lower body up as he slammed into me, my voice rising in need as I felt him throbbing inside me just before he released his hot essence into my body. He came biting into my shoulder and my overstimulated nerves had me twitching and squirming under the warring intensity of sensation his bite gave me. It hurt but it felt so good- I wanted him to stop but I needed him to add even more force. I came for the third time almost painfully, feeling totally used up and dry but still somehow aching for more attention. 

He finally slowed and then stopped but remained buried in me per my request. As we stayed wrapped in each other’s arms panting for breath, Wesker laid his forehead against mine and I loved the way we shared the air between us. I watched him though he closed his eyes as he tried to bring back his composure. He was so frustratingly perfect. My eyes hungrily took in every part of him I could see and I knew it would never be enough. I needed so much more of Wesker than he could ever provide in just this single heated exchange of our passionate love making or in any of the sweet moments we shared. No, it would never be enough, there was no moment or finite time that could give me what I wanted. I needed him to be with me always to be content. I needed the good times, the quiet moments, the sweet exchanges, and the passion we shared in sex. But I also needed the bad times, the tense fights, the painful memories, and even the violence that plagued us. I needed the rest of our lives to have and to hold him just to feel like I had enough of him to keep me this incredibly happy. And I knew what that sounded like… and I didn’t mind. 

A small chuckle escaped my lips and caused Wesker’s yellow eyes to open to see me and I knew he wanted to know what I found amusing. I leaned up slightly to peck his lips before smiling up at him. 

“I just…” I sighed happily as another small fit of chuckles spilled from me. “I’m happy.” I told him which got a loving smile to spread over his lips as well. “Wesker I lo-” then he was kissing me to stop me from getting the words out. That was fine. I melted into his kiss and gave him total control over my body as he started to move his hips to penetrate me more. Maybe he wasn’t ready yet for it to be spoken aloud, that was fine, his sudden reinvigorated excitement told me he understood and accepted the feelings we shared. If he wasn’t ready to hear it or to say it yet, that was fine. We had the rest of time to get there. 

~~~ 

Rejection 

I remained against the wall around the corner leading into the large underground parking garage as I listened in on the conversation between two of my teammates. Everyone left the office about half an hour before I had yet for some reason these two lingered rather than saying goodbye, getting in their vehicles, and going home. It wasn’t like they wouldn’t see each other again soon enough, why couldn’t they just leave already? I was in no mood to play pleasant with anyone more than I’d already had to for the day and while I could just ignore any attempt at speaking to me, I was in a very foul mood so any human interaction was off the table. So I stayed out of sight and decided to wait them out since I didn’t have anything else to do for the night. I’d rather have been home doing something more productive or getting some much needed extra sleep but no, instead I was stuck listening to Chris and Jill ramble on about whatever came to mind. It was quickly grating on my nerves more and more with each shy word or hushed giggle. I made plans to assign them extra work later to keep them from talking- or maybe that’s why they were so chatty now, they hadn’t had enough time to talk earlier. But they had… they’d been talking pretty much all day, I even had to get on them to get back to work more than usual. 

“Oh damn, it’s gotten really late.” Jill called suddenly, probably having checked her watch. “This has been fun Chris, we should definitely hang out some more outside of work but I have to get going.” yes, finally! I internally rejoiced that I too would be able to leave. 

“Uh- Jill?” my pointman stopped her and I had to forcibly repress a groan of disapproval at the delay. “So, um…” he started and stopped again, his nervousness all too obvious. “I’ve been meaning to ask you if you, well, if you wanna go somewhere- sometime.” the hesitance and stumbling over his words made his awkward demeanor too easy to picture. He was most likely rubbing at the back of his neck with his head turned down and away like he always did when he was nervous. 

“Like… a date?” was the brunette’s equally hesitant clarifying question. She had just stated she thought they should hang out just for him to ask if she wanted to “do something sometime”, he should have left well enough alone. 

“Y-yeah…” now Chris was clearly second guessing his choice in asking her out. I was also questioning his asking her out. There were no strict rules against dating in the same department but it still wasn’t a wise decision. The two were good friends and I knew they’d been getting closer, perhaps bordering on flirting now that I thought about it… but why was he asking her out? No, I supposed it made sense for an average man to find her attractive and to pursue her but Chris wasn’t exactly average. Although the two did get along well, had fun when they spent time together, and worked in sync with each other as partners- perhaps they were a good match. As long as a relationship between them didn’t negatively impact our work, why should I have to be thinking so intently about this? And why was I disappointed? It wasn’t disappointment in Chris’ taste, Jill was a great match for him and I doubted he could find a better woman. It wasn’t disappointment in Jill’s taste either, Chris was a remarkable officer when he put his mind to a task and he could even be charming when he wasn’t busy making a fool of himself- although some liked that about him too. So what was it? Was I upset that I’d have to be dealing with another couple working so closely with me, preemptive frustration over a potential repeat situation with William and Annette? No… although that was also a worry now. If I revealed myself now as if I had just come down, maybe they would both drop the topic. 

“Chris…” I listened more purposefully now as the woman sighed heavily. “You’re great and I really like being around you but I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to be dating given our line of work.” she explained regretfully and I quietly sighed in relief. “I know how this sounds but it’s really not you.” she quickly added. “I’m focusing on my career right now so I can’t really commit to a relationship and I don’t think something casual would work out between us.” that was smart, accurate and smart. 

“I’m not good enough for commitment, I’m too good for a fling, so I’m just right for the friend zone?” Chris asked through a long sigh, the hurt evident in his voice. 

“Do you only want a fling with me?” my lockpick countered. 

“I don’t know what I want with you Jill.” he stated and I could picture the dramatic shrug he gave her. “I haven’t exactly had any stable relationships either but I know I really like you and we get along great and I trust you with my life and you can kick my ass like no one else can.” he explained, his voice adding a forced joking tone at the end which Jill offered him a small chuckle over. They were awkwardly silent for a moment, both probably looking for something else to say. 

“Except for Wesker.” the woman pointed out with a lighter tone and when Chris chuckled over it, it sounded more relaxed and genuine. 

“Yeah, except for Wesker.” he agreed before they fell back to silence long enough that I thought of walking out to interrupt their cringe inducing awkwardness. “I just thought we could give it a try.” Chris said with another sad sigh, knowing that it wasn’t going to happen. 

“I’m sorry Chris.” the brunette told him sincerely. “If it didn’t work out for whatever reason and we broke up, I’d want to get away from you because I don’t keep exes in my life. I can’t do that because we work together and I do really like you. So can we just stay friends?” 

“Think we ever have a chance in the future?” 

“Don’t wait around for me Chris, I don’t want to feel like I’m stringing you along.” 

“Yeah…” the brunet sighed for a third time then they were silent again. “Yeah.” he said again, his voice stronger and more sure this time. “I do like being your friend too and I don’t want to make things weird between us so I can put whatever feelings I have aside and… yeah, we can stay just friends.” my pointman sounded sure and even a little lighthearted about the whole thing but I could hear the hesitance in his voice. He was putting on the brave face I’d seen him don before so Jill would be more at ease with the situation. 

“Thanks.” there was a shifting of sound and I thought they might be hugging it out. It was very quickly after that they finally parted, one vehicle leaving and another starting but never moving. I knew who it was. I gave it another minute before walking out and heading in the direction of my car only to look over to see Chris sitting in the driver’s seat of his Jeep with his head resting against the steering wheel. He looked absolutely miserable. He jumped in surprise when my knuckle gently tapped against his window. He rolled the glass barrier down as he laughed at himself and gave me a forced smile from that brave face of his. 

“Hey Captain, I thought you were working late tonight.” he spoke conversationally, his voice pleasant but I could hear the tension. 

“I did, it’s been over an hour since you all left the office.” I stated and he checked his watch to confirm that. “What are you still doing here?” his smile faltered before rising again but I stopped him before he could give me some excuse. “I told you that you don’t need to be strong for me, you’re clearly upset.” then his smile dropped as he blew out a large breath. His brave face was gone. He didn’t tell me he was rejected by Jill, instead feeding me some white lie about some of them staying to talk before leaving. He said he got tired and rested his head for a moment. He rubbed his eyes as he claimed he must have dozed off for a moment but he assured me he was fine. The smile he gave me wasn’t his forced one, rather it was drained and pleading. I understood he didn’t want to talk about it so I didn’t press the matter especially since I already knew what had really happened. I simply nodded to him and told him to be careful driving home then watched him go. I still didn’t understand why, but I was pleased that he had been rejected and it had nothing to do with Jill. 

Chapter Text

I wasn’t ready to wake up, I only readjusted in my sleep when I noticed a lack of another body next to me which stirred my mind to figure out why I was in bed alone. Not willing to properly wake up unless I needed to, my arm wandered over to what had become Wesker’s side of the bed but never bumped into the missing man. I groaned in refusal as if he would magically appear next to me so I could fall back into sleep but he wasn’t there. I must have passed out eventually at some point last night after our… fuck I lost count of how many times exactly we had sex, we were at it pretty much all day with a few breaks. And fuck did my body ache from all the bruises and bite marks but luckily we’d found a good rhythm to stick to so I wasn’t being overly brutalized. We’d talked a bit about it during sex late last night while Wesker was trying to make sure I was actually okay and not hurting too much for more. Admittedly it was a little much by that point but not too much especially given that I’m a masochist. 

“Wesker.” I called, still sleepy and too lazy to get up. I wasn’t paying attention enough to be able to hear his light footsteps but I became aware of his presence when he entered my room by the sudden warmth in my chest being near him gave me. I hummed my approval of his appearance before the blanket over me lifted to make room for the blond to wordlessly slide into bed next to me. I turned onto my side to face him as he shifted closer to me, his position mirrored mine as he threw an arm around my waist and pulled me a little closer until I could feel his bare chest. 

“I remained in bed with you for a few hours before I went to work on more letters.” Wesker’s smooth voice whispered to me, picking up on my tiredness and not wanting to completely disturb me. I only nodded and cracked one eye open to see the placement of his head so I could lean forward to kiss him. He hummed against my lips, the slight vibration of the sound ricocheting through me pleasantly to stir desire in my tired mind. I trembled as I let out a low sigh before my lover chuckled and kissed me again before settling into the pillow under him. I opened my eyes to stare into his light orange eyes and smiled at the loving expression he gave me. “Get some more rest Dearheart.” he whispered in that same soothing tone before he leaned in again to press his lips now to my forehead. “You’ll need it for later.” he added and I laughed before moving even closer to him, wrapping my arm around his shoulder to bring his face to my neck comfortably though he placed a few teasing kisses there on my skin. I wished not for the first time in the last several hours that I could tell him how I felt but I could wait a little longer. 

… … … 

Red eyes glared at me in heavy disapproval from the couch, turned so he could watch me as I paced behind him. One of my arms waved dramatically as I read certain lines from his letter “Rejection” aloud in my best Wesker impression though I admit it was rather terrible. The smug shit eating grin never left my face, not at all intimidated by his irritation. 

“Alright, you’ve had your fun.” he called to stop me, unable to continue trying to wait me out since I was obviously just gonna keep going. I ignored his warning and kept reading, adding unnecessary emphasis on lines I thought particularly showed my point. He growled at me as his narrowed eyes glowed slightly against the light but he wasn’t the least bit scary to me anymore. I had the upper hand here and whatever harm he may or may not deal me… well, I would probably just enjoy it so it would defeat his purpose of trying to punish me for not listening. “Christopher.” he warned again as he finally stood up as if to show he was getting ready for a fight. “I already regret giving you the damn thing, don’t make me take it from you as well.” that got me to pause and eye him carefully before my smile turned sly and challenging. 

“Admit you were jealous and I’ll stop.” I told him helpfully though my gaze dared him to try to take the pages from me. I’d woken up again earlier to him sitting up in bed writing more letters since he claimed to be behind, this one he’d left with me while he made me some food. At first I was incredibly embarrassed to learn that he’d actually witnessed my failed attempt at asking out my best friend a decade ago since that was basically a secret kept between me and Jill. But I quickly got over it with the realization that Wesker had left a few implications that he’d been jealous, had even thought about stopping us from talking about the possibility of us dating, and then he was relieved over my rejection. I thought I was the only one acting jealous but no, Albert Wesker had been jealous over the idea of me dating Jill even back in STARS. And I wasn’t letting him live it down even if it did irritate him or make him regret revealing it to me. I was sure he was expecting me to be embarrassed and planned to tease me about it so he was in for quite a surprise when I was smirking at him the entire time I ate my meal. Finally when he questioned what I found so “annoyingly amusing”, I told him my revelation and he went silent before trying to deny it. He tried to ignore my teasing in the hopes I would drop it but that only spurred me to get a reaction from him and oh was I getting one now. I practically buzzed with excitement at the thought of a physical confrontation with him and where it could lead. I was thrilled by our more passionate lovemaking all of yesterday but today I just really wanted him to brutally fuck me until I couldn’t stand on my own. Of course that would probably mean I might be out of the game for a few days but if we could find a balance between violence and sex- at least keeping to a human pace then I think I should be fine. 

“I don’t know how you came to that conclusion when I simply-” I cut him off by loudly reciting a line from his letter that clearly announced his jealousy. My body moved before I registered his lunge as he vaulted himself over the couch. I backed up and spun to the side as I threw my arm up so the paper was out of his way but Wesker’s arms found their way around my midsection instead to lift me up and back over the front of the couch. I quickly hooked my free arm around his neck to bring him over with me. My shoulder hit the cushions of the couch but we kept rolling, some part of me and probably Wesker too hit the coffee table as we tumbled to the floor. I wound up on top of the other man laughing though he quickly shifted a bit under the small low table to reach to the other side just in time to get his hand under the falling tv. 

“Good catch.” I muttered before I pinned that arm down at his elbow and captured his lips with my own. He bit at my lips as he blindly reached for where my other hand had been, still trying to get to the letter he’d given me. Before he could grab it, I crumpled the already wrinkled paper into a quick ball in my fist which I then stuffed into the front of my pants to show him where I wanted him to be grabbing. I felt the blond’s muscles shifting under mine as he let the tv rest on its back on the floor before using his arm, despite my attempt to keep it down, to flip the coffee table away from us. Then we were rolling again, Wesker intentionally slamming my back into the ground hard enough to nearly knock the air from my lungs as he straddled me, his groin pressing to mine as he rocked his hips forward to create a little friction between us. Neither of us was hard yet but he was clearly showing his interest in where I wanted this to go. Before I could catch my breath, hands were clutching my throat to restrict how much air I was able to suck in. Not enough to hurt or to stop my breathing entirely but enough to very quickly get me wheezing and lightheaded before he let up a little so I could inhale only slightly before he tightened his grip again. The pleasurable adrenaline in my quickened pulse was thrilling and I grasped at his wrists with both hands but I didn’t try to pull his hands away from me since I liked what he was doing. I knew he would probably try to leave a mark of some kind for this and I spared no thought to who else might see it as I knew I would enjoy the reminder of our foreplay too. 

“Be a good boy and hand it over.” he commanded as he loosened his grip enough to allow my head to clear so I could understand him properly and respond though there was still just enough pressure on my throat that my words were slightly strained. 

“I thought… you were gonna… take it from me.” I taunted as my smug smile returned which earned me a subtle flash of red in his eyes from his annoyance with my defiance. However the growing tension between our legs told me the challenge was exciting to him or was it the excuse to punish me that he was looking forward to? His fingers pressed harder into my skin now to a painful extent- I hadn’t been able to take a breath before he cut off all intake, the inside of my skull throbbed from the lack of an essential need, and my vision faded fast. It still wasn’t actually painful enough that I’d necessarily want him to stop but enough that my body involuntarily struggled against him. My mouth gaped uselessly without being able to suck in any air, I shook my head as much as I could as if it would shake his hands off of me, and my hands now did try to wrench his suffocating grip away from my throat. There was real pain now but I still wasn’t actively fighting against him or I would at least have some success in getting him off, however my body still reacted defensively to the sudden aggressive behavior that could take my life. All I could see of the man above me was a hazy image of a burning red flare, the expression he wore as he suffocated me was one that displayed a sadistic glee that I knew I should fear and despise… but I didn’t. I knew he wouldn’t kill me… it was at that moment that I realized, even if he was getting off on threatening it, I trusted Wesker with my life. 

Finally my lungs expanded allowing me to wheeze and cough as I slightly rotated my body, feeling as though I might throw up. My body was on high alert after that and the blond didn’t waste a moment of it, his lips trailing the fresh bruises beginning to color my neck and my nerves lit up at the welcome sensation. He nipped at my jaw before forcefully turning my head to aggressively claim my lips before I could fully catch my breath and he didn’t let me breathe much as we made out. Each heavy pant I breathed around his mouth seemed to excite him more, I could feel how hard he was now after what he did to me. The reminder of the power he had over me was surely intoxicating to him and I readily let him bask in it. My nerves were much more aware of his hands under my shirt than my brain was and I wasn’t sure I liked that. My body arched up into him when one hand scratched fresh welts down my stomach and the fingers of the other played with my nipples. I think I moaned rather loudly without the brainpower to stop myself. I was hardly aware of anything he was actually doing to me, all I could process was each new sensation he gave me but my oxygen starved brain was still recovering and not quite able to keep up with what was happening. I wasn’t sure I enjoyed it as much as the lighter stuff we’d done before. It worked to put my body in that highly aware and sensitive to input state that made every touch three times better but it made me too hazy to really enjoy it mentally too- then there was the nausea. 

“Chris?” Wesker’s voice cut through the throbbing in my head after I’d successfully gotten my hand onto his chest to lightly push him away from me. He got the message and stopped everything he was doing, taking some of his weight off of me to finally let me breathe easier. I continued to gasp and wheeze, not coughing anymore but my lungs still protested the prolonged deprivation. “Was that too hard?” he asked as he rubbed the portion of my back he could reach with me turned as I was. I slowly nodded and though I wanted to explain that I did still enjoy it but just not as much as still being able to process what I was enjoying but I didn’t get the chance to. I was at least clear headed enough now to realize the new sound interrupting us was the locks on the front door. Wesker growled irritably before he sat up and got off of me completely, sitting with his back to the overturned coffee table with his hands not up but visible at his sides. Then there were guns surrounding us though no one fired as I quickly moved myself in front of Wesker before I even realized that’s what I planned to do. I was about to make some demand to know what this was all for when my brain finally caught up and I remembered all the cameras currently watching us. I realized all the monitor would have really seen was a fight in which I was being strangled and nearly killed so it made sense to send in reinforcements to help me. But I didn’t need help, it was all just sexual foreplay to us… which we did on camera… fuck how was I supposed to explain this? My face heated up and I suddenly didn’t know what to say to justify what they saw. 

“Chris?” one of the agents asked since I was defending our enemy even as I still breathed heavier than usual. 

“He… he wasn’t attacking me. I’m fine.” I stated though my voice unfortunately wasn’t very strong. I wasn’t sure if it was because I was embarrassed and didn’t want to be saying any of this or because of the rough treatment my throat had just undergone. Probably both but most likely the latter. 

“He was choking you and your throat is bruised.” another barked in disbelief and I groaned internally as I realized there wasn’t going to be an easy out for me… I would have to explain. I sighed as I lowered my arms but sat a little more comfortably since no one was actually firing. “Comfortably” may not be the best word for it since I still had the crumpled piece of paper in my pants with my quickly dying erection which I kept my legs together to hide. The whole tussle over the letter seemed petty and I almost regretted all of it now that it wasn’t in the moment… almost . 

“I know… but it’s fine.” my voice was hoarse so I tried to clear my throat. Two of the agents tensed some more though I didn’t have time to wonder why since I felt one of Wesker’s hands on my back, his nails teasing my still sensitive nerves even through my shirt. I shivered and inhaled sharply before whipping my head back to glare at him but the smirk he wore over it wasn’t worth worsening my lightheadedness. I did however notice that he sat comfortably and confidently with his clothed erection on full display and got a little upset over his lack of attempt to hide it. I pushed one of his knees closer to the other and though he rolled his eyes at me he obliged my request and closed his legs. I still shifted some more so my body was hiding him a little better at least from the other agents in the room. “I know how it looks but everything is fine.” I tried again with the intruders in our living space but they didn’t budge. I know I couldn’t just tell them to ignore what they saw as dangerous without some kind of explanation of how and why I wasn’t in danger. 

“Would you rather it come from me?” Wesker asked and I couldn’t tell if it was a threat to tell them before I could or an offer to say it if I couldn’t, knowing him it could be either or both at the same time. 

“No.” I huffed with another irritated look at him like it was all his fault this was happening but it took two to tango. “Look he was just doing what I… I’m a… I like…” I covered my heated face with my hand as I sucked in one long breath and just spit it out to get it over with. “I’m a masochist and I like being choked. We weren’t fighting, it was a sexual thing.” I couldn’t look at the stunned faces of my coworkers as they processed this information. My face got even hotter when Wesker chuckled from behind me so without looking at him either, I reached back and smacked his leg but it didn’t shut him up. Even without peeking at the others in the room I could tell they were awkwardly trying to figure out what to do. I squeezed my eyes shut and took a long breath now that I was finally breathing correctly again. 

“We won’t be so rough moving forward.” Wesker called so I wouldn’t have to and though I was ever more embarrassed with every word spoken, I couldn’t help turning to give the blond a slow and possibly threatening look that only widened his smirk. “On camera.” he corrected only to me with a slight shrug and I quickly turned away from him again… though honestly I was content with that. One of the agents started to call back to the monitor over a handheld radio but I stopped them. 

“You can go.” I stated with a nearly harsh tone. I didn’t mean to be aggressive about it- I was just a red faced mess and I just wanted them gone… plus I was still a little upset that we had been interrupted. “There’s no danger so we shouldn’t have more people down here when it’s not needed.” it only took another reassurance that I was in fact fine before they actually left, a few of them wanting to get out more than I wanted them out and a few hesitated over the unsure situation. But they did leave. I groaned loudly and now covered my face with both of my hands while Wesker chuckled again as I heard him shift. He pressed his body to mine from behind, his arms sliding teasingly around my sides, down my stomach, before resting on the tops of my thighs which were still pressed together even though I wasn’t hard anymore. 

“I still need that letter back Chris.” he whispered against my ear but didn’t allow me to respond before he pried my legs apart and lowered both of his hands to my crotch. I inhaled sharply and tried to object but the feeling of his still hardened erection against my back silenced me. I couldn’t keep mine as we were caught and confronted with what we were doing but I knew the power hungry man probably just loved seeing me in that uncomfortable position. I doubted he meant for it to happen but Wesker still caused it and he probably really enjoyed seeing my blushing face as I had to reveal my messed up kink to avoid him being shot at. I think he liked me being defensive of him too, he saw it like I was choosing him over my BSAA coworkers- which wasn’t really the case, I was just doing what needed to be done to keep everything as peaceful as possible. 

“Then take it.” that was exactly what I meant to say… but not how I meant to say it. It was meant to be a reluctant surrender but instead my voice was challenging and needy all wrapped into the same defiance I’d been taunting him with earlier. The blond knocked me forward so my chest and face were pressed into the couch cushions, he held me there with one hand between my shoulder blades as he leaned over me to reach his other hand back around my front. His hand slipped into my pants and part of me hoped he would just grab the paper that was very uncomfortably pressing into the sensitive skin of my thighs… but another part really hoped he did more than that. I had mixed feelings when his fingers wrapped around my flaccid cock and began to stroke. “Wesker- the cameras!” I growled at him, angry that he was still doing this where we could be seen but at the same time I didn’t want him to stop. I was more than fine with continuing where we left off, I just wanted to move it into my room. 

“Perhaps next time you should listen to me if you want me to do the same.” he murmured to me with a taunting tone and I knew the bastard was smirking- so damn smug with his own comeback. This was punishment then. He knew hurting me would only be a reward and to deny me was to deny himself so doing this here was an effective way to get back at me. 

“Okay, you win- now let’s go to my room.” I tried moving to the side towards my door but he pressed harder into my back to prevent me from moving much. I had to keep my head turned just so I wasn’t breathing in the fabric of the couch but I knew with any more pressure on my back I would have trouble breathing anyway. He kept working my cock in his hand and I couldn’t help but pant and moan as I hardened in his grasp. He learned what I liked just as fast as I learned him and despite the situation, it felt so good. “Wesker…” I pleaded but he didn’t respond. “We just- mmm… got in trouble for doing this.” I reminded him but it only made him chuckle once more. 

“And now they know better than to interrupt.” with his capable fingers still jerking me off under my pants where the cameras couldn’t directly see, he leaned farther over me to let his body pin mine so his other hand could grip my chin and turn it more towards him. My neck hurt with the movement and I wasn’t sure if it was because of the new bruises or if it was because he was twisting my head a bit too far. His cool tongue ran across my heated cheek as if he could taste my blush and he continued to laugh at my state. “I wonder how much pain I could get away with putting you through now that you’ve directly told them you consent to it.” he took advantage of me opening my mouth to retort, his tongue sliding in before I could actually say anything. I bit down as hard as I could as a form of retaliation which made him wince and pull away from me. I felt the small drip of his blood land on the back of my hand before I saw it and for a moment Wesker froze, his red eyes gazing at the drop before searching my expression. I was grateful he remembered and was checking to make sure I was okay. 

“It’s fine, I trust you.” I told him and knew I would let him do whatever he wanted to me when I watched his eyes turn from red to orange. I didn’t get to fully enjoy the fond expression he wore since he started pumping me again, faster this time and twisting his fist around me with each forward motion. I moaned out as I rocked myself back into his neglected stiffness but he didn’t react to the friction, instead he wiped away the droplet of blood from my skin though it still left a red smudge. With his face so close to mine I could still smell the metallic stink of the minor wound I gave him even as he licked away the blood that leaked onto his lips. If I had witnessed this while oxygen deprived or out of my mind with pleasure I might have reacted badly to it but I knew we were more than safe and doing something we both wanted to be doing. Even if it really wasn’t where I wanted to be doing it. When he kissed me again he didn’t hesitate because even if I chose to bite him again, he was prepared to allow it. But I didn’t, I even leaned up as much as I was able to in order to fully seal my mouth over his. The small pierced cut on his tongue had healed so I only tasted the faintest hint of blood inside his mouth but it still didn’t set me off. I knew I caused his bleeding because he challenged me to hurt him if I wanted and I did want to. I wanted to give back what he gave me but he cheated with his fucking regeneration. 

“You’re so tense.” he whispered to me but I barely registered more than the sensation of his breath on my lips. Everything about him just felt so good . His free hand moved under me, his nails scratching my collarbone before his fingers gripped lightly at my throat which aggravated the bruises already placed there. I grunted in pain and flinched as he tightened his hold on both my neck and my dick but it only made him hum against my ear in approval. “Perhaps I should take you right here to feel it for myself.” the threat sent shivers through my bones and I trembled under him as he rolled his hips forward against my ass. I had accepted that he was going to get me off in the living room where we were being watched but at least neither of us was actually exposed though of course everyone would know what we were doing. But to actually have sex on camera? I was conflicted again because the promise of sex with the same aggression he’s been giving me through this sounded amazing and my cock twitched in excitement within the blond’s grip. He took notice and his subtle laughter shook my frame with longing. But we were being recorded- there’s no way we could actually do it here! 

“You… wouldn’t.” I wheezed out to call his bluff, knowing he would never allow me to be exposed in front of another person even if it was just through cameras. I was actually a little unnerved when he only hummed in thought. He wouldn’t… right? My hand flew to his arm as he pressed my erection through his fist even faster, moving into a rhythm I wasn’t sure was human but it pushed me close to the edge of a finish I wasn’t ready for. I wasn’t ready for this pleasure to be done yet, I wanted more. “Wes-” he cut me off by tightening his fingers around my neck, it hurt because of the previous abuse but I could still breathe- it was hard because of the limited air allowed and my quick panted moans but at least I still could. Lightheadedness returned to reduce my mind to a state of delirious sensations and what my body was given through it was even more pleasure. Without any free hands, the older man used his teeth to tear my shirt at the collar so his mouth could attack my skin, sucking and biting at my now exposed shoulder. I wasn’t fully aware of the noises I was making but it didn’t matter anyway since there weren’t any microphones around our living space. 

I erupted with all the amazing sensation I was given- at the same time air flooded my lungs once more so Wesker could shove his other hand into my pants too. I hardly even noticed when something rough and crinkly was pressed to the tip of my dick as I came, my orgasm was a wheezing moan interrupted by subtle coughs as my chest adjusted to being able to fully expand again. Eventually Wesker slowed his hand so he didn’t put me into the oversensitive range which, even in my hazy condition, I knew meant he wasn’t done with me. I shivered with anticipation even as the blond man pulled himself off of me, his hands coming out of my pants so he could turn around to sit next to me with his back to the couch. I slouched down and to the side until I was actually sitting on the floor rather than bent over the couch, my entire body tingled delightfully but I wasn’t satisfied yet. 

My eyes trained on the stained paper Wesker was using to clean off his fingers and suddenly I understood what he’d made me cum on. He smirked at me when he noticed me looking and intentionally lifted his dirtied hand to his face to finish cleaning it with his tongue. I blushed harder as I watched the thick white substance disappear into his mouth and not for the first time I thought about how badly I wanted to watch as my dick did the same thing. I knew I could ask him to suck me off and he probably would but the tantalizing anticipation for the long time fantasy was almost too good to actually have. Then the bastard tossed the crumpled and now partially wet ball onto the couch in front of my face and laughed when my nose crinkled from the too strong scent of my own cum and I moved my head away from it. 

“I’ve changed my mind, you can keep it.” he offered and I rolled my eyes but still chuckled over this whole thing. I told him to take it and when he finally did, he was giving it back after making sure I wouldn’t actually want it. I couldn’t even be mad about it since it felt too good and really it was just funny. “You were right however,” my eyes trailed the length of his body as he stood up until they focused on the tent in his pants. “I wouldn’t take you where others could see you in such a…” I caught the longing flash in his eyes as he looked over me and I held my breath as the blood rushed back to my dick. I knew what he was getting at and I wanted it. “desirable state.” he finished with an inviting but intimidating smile before he stripped off his shirt to give me even more to look at. “If you want me to fuck you into tomorrow, let’s go where no one can witness what will become of you.” his low and intentionally sultry voice was doing dangerous things to me and I was already getting up… in more ways than one. He turned to my bedroom and motioned me to follow him with a crook of his forefinger but I was already at his heel like a loyal pet. 

~~~ 

Misunderstanding 

My reading was interrupted by my cell phone ringing and I was quick to grab it with my free hand. At this hour I was sure it was either a new case coming in or someone from Umbrella, either way a quick reply was best. However it was neither. The other line was crowded with noise and a man asked if I knew Chris Redfield. I sighed and put my book down to rub irritably at my forehead but I still gave an affirmative response. Apparently my pointman and a few of his friends had been at the bar drinking again and had overdone it over some celebration. The bartender I now spoke to was sure Chris left before everyone else but eventually found his way back to the bar and the man figured he must have gotten lost. All his other friends had already left by that point and Chris was too out of it to be of much help with anything so the bartender took his phone to start calling people to pick him up. With how late it was either no one answered or were otherwise unable to help right now. Since I answered I was asked to come take him off the bartender’s hands. 

Tomorrow was our day off so I was using tonight to catch up on some reading- the last thing I wanted to do was babysit my subordinates. Their drunken mishaps around Raccoon City bled over into our work life enough as it was, I didn’t want to be further involved. But I didn’t think it would do to leave Chris on his own while apparently too drunk to even remember his way home. I wouldn’t stay to tend to him but I could at least take him home where he was the least likely to get into trouble I may or may not have to deal with later anyway. Chris was lucky I’d stayed up to read rather than having retired to bed as I was supposed to nearly two hours ago. 

By the time I showed up, he’d apparently pulled himself together at least a little and was more aware of his surroundings but still just as unsteady on his feet. He was a mess, his hair even more disheveled than usual and in need of a cut, his clothes resting at odd angles on his body like he’d been pulling at them, his eyes unfocused but sparkling, and utterly reeking of the booze he’d spent the night consuming. His eyes slid over me without really seeing me as I approached him and told him it was time to go before taking one of his arms to sling over my shoulders. I nodded to the bartender who silently returned it in thanks before I assisted Chris out to my vehicle as he sang some rock song very poorly and laughed to himself.  

“You look… you look a lot like my captain.” he slurred his words some but not enough for his speech to be incoherent. I already regretted this whole thing so I tried to ignore him as I buckled him into the passenger seat. He smiled crooked up at me with a pointed finger that I swatted away before he could touch my face. I otherwise continued to ignore him and shut the door before he could say anything else to make a further fool of himself. I wasn’t bothered by his lack of recognition, I was well aware of the effects alcohol could have on a person especially when ingested in high volumes. He kept staring at me as I drove him home, occasionally extending his index finger to try to poke my cheek as if to test if I were real. I either warned him against it and he quickly heeded it by lowering his arm like a kid caught doing something they weren’t supposed to do or I would have to smack his hand away again. “Are your eyes blue?” he questioned as he continued to stare at me, seeming perplexed by my dark eyewear yet still didn’t recognize me. 

“Yes.” I answered though really I would say they were more of a gray but there was just enough blue in them to claim otherwise and officially they were listed as blue. 

“I wanna see them.” his tone was hopeful and he leaned halfway over the center console to get closer to me. 

“No.” I stated simply which got the other man to sit back with his arms folded indignantly over his chest as he slumped lower in the seat. 

“They’re not as pretty as Wesker’s anyway.” his pouted declaration had me side eyeing him curiously. 

“Pretty?” 

“Yeyup!” he exclaimed loudly then quickly moved closer to me again. “But it’s a secret so don’t tell him!” he sloppily held a finger to his lips and tried to press another to mine but I again batted his hand away from my face. 

“I won’t.” I grinned maliciously as the brunet sat back and ran his hands over his face. 

“He’s so damn hot- I mean really really hooot .” I shook my head over what he was unknowingly admitting to me. “He’s the most gorgeousest and god his body-” he whipped his head back to me with widened eyes. “Have you seen him naked? I’ve seen him naked…” he sighed in a dreamy manner and I rolled my eyes as I thought back to the time in the showers he was more interested in watching me undress than cleaning himself. Chris’ body made it very obvious he was thinking about the same… exciting thing. It wasn’t until that moment that I realized I’d never actually seen Chris naked, I’d seen him plenty in his boxers as he changed from his uniform to his training clothes and back but never completely nude. The one time we had been in the showers at the same time I was already in a stall by the time he finally took his pants off and I was busy buttoning up my shirt when he dropped his towel to slip into his boxers. Despite my clear disinterest, I found my gaze wandering once or twice back to his forming erection. Was I curious? No, I’d never been curious about another man’s body before or a woman’s for that matter- outside of a scientific study, of course. 

“Aren’t you the least bit ashamed to be saying these things about another man?” I didn’t ask because I was disgusted by the way he thought of me or by his body’s reaction to those thoughts, I knew I was “damn hot” so I entirely understood his attraction to me. I was used to women flirting with me unsuccessfully though I was more accustomed to men wanting to be me rather than just wanting me . As far as I was concerned it was the same process as dealing with the women that showed interest, I ignored it. Just because I understood my own appeal to others didn’t mean I shared their delusions that they would ever be worthy of me. Chris was no different, I didn’t care that he was attracted to me… though I admit I might be a touch curious about the mental process on the other side of that from the perspective of a homosexual. Though I actually had a hard time believing he was gay, I’d seen how he behaves around certain women he was obviously attracted to since he was just as bad at hiding it with them as he was with me. Besides I was certain he was genuine in his desire to date Jill. 

“He’ll never know- who’s gonna tell?” Chris threw his arms up in a wide questioning gesture as if to showcase that there was no one around. “Not you- you said so.” he pointed at me again but didn’t try to touch me as he instead leaned the side of his head against the window. He seemed to be getting more tired now. 

“I was more referring to the fact that you are also a man.” he turned his head without lifting it to give me a puzzled expression. “Are you actually a homosexual Chris?” I finally asked, not caring whether he remembered this conversation or not tomorrow but still he didn’t seem to understand what I was asking. “Are you gay?” I asked again though slower and more simplified for his inebriated mind. 

“Psh…” he seemed upset now that he understood what was being implied about him and he folded his arms again. “I don’t even care about any of that, I would…” he sighed that long needy exhale again. “I would do things to that man.” his eyes were on me again with an intense desire that made me wonder if he actually realized who he was looking at now. I wasn’t put off by the implied vulgarity, I’d heard much worse throughout my life whether it was directed at me or not. 

By the time we pulled into his complex’s parking lot, Chris had fallen silent and I wondered if he was asleep. His deep blue eyes blinked open rapidly when I opened the passenger door and he started to fall since he had been leaning against it but I gripped his shoulder to steady him until he could hold himself. I ignored his gaze again as he yawned and squinted to watch me reach over his body to unbuckle his seatbelt. 

“Captain…” he called lazily with a sloppy but earnest grin. “Fancy meeting you here.” 

“You’re in my car Chris.” I informed him so he looked around himself with a confused gaze. I didn’t wait for him to finish his assessment before I took his arm to help him out of the car. He still needed a lot of help to walk to his apartment but at least he recognized me now and he wasn’t jumbling his words as badly. I leaned him against the wall next to his front door as I checked his pockets for his keys. 

“Wesker…” his voice was almost a low whine and his fingers tightened around the chest of my shirt as he simultaneously pulled me closer to him and leaned forward, his dazed eyes were half lidded and his lips slightly parted. I quickly pulled back to get out of the brunet’s immediate range before slamming him back into the wall with my arm across his chest. He grunted at the brief pain though the sound that followed wasn’t dissimilar to the sultry way he’d said my name. When he opened his eyes to look at me… his expression was longing with need and a brilliant red touched his face. Did the violence not work to put him in his place? It was one thing for him to be attracted to me, it was another for him to attempt to kiss me. Although I supposed reaching into his pants in any sort of way wasn’t the wisest choice at the moment. 

“I’m not engaging in any kind of sexual activity with you, I’m trying to find your keys.” I clarified but it didn’t get the other man to stop looking at me with that lustful glaze over his eyes or even realize that I was rejecting him. I took my arm away from him and backed up a step before snapping my fingers in front of his face to get him to focus. “Keys.” he blinked a few times before his fingers slipped into the same pocket I’d been trying to get into but came out empty then checked his other and produced the small keyring. I snatched them from him with a shake of my head before unlocking his front door and motioning inside. I didn’t want to touch him after that but had to catch him when his first attempted step nearly had him falling onto his face. Luckily he didn’t try anything else as I half dragged him into his apartment and laid him on his couch where he could stay until he sobered up. Since he was now safely home my job was done so I dropped his keys on the coffee table and turned to leave but stopped when he called out for me. 

“I don’t want you to go.” his voice still carried lust but I couldn’t help thinking there was something more in the yearning. I remained in the entryway with the doorknob in my grasp, ready to close the door behind me after another few steps out. Why wasn’t I gone already? This was supposed to be a quick drop off. He was home so I should leave. 

“What do you want with me?” I asked almost hesitantly as I thought of Jill and her question to this same man of whether a fling was all he wanted. 

“I want…” he sounded unsure of himself and for some reason that seemed reassuring to me. It made me half close the door and turn just enough to see the man partially sitting up on the couch. Blush still brightened his cheeks and he still looked at me with clouded desire but the smile that touched his lips wasn’t predatory or crazed but rather inviting. “I want you to suck me off.” he sounded more sure of himself now since I hadn’t left and he still believed this to be some kind of sexual visit because of what happened earlier. But I scoffed with a harsh shake of my head as I finally took those last steps and shut the door behind me as I left. 

Of course sex was all he wanted… he didn’t really know me, his attraction could never be anything but skin deep. And that, for some inconceivable reason, made me begin to hate him.

Chapter Text

Jill: It’s been two days since I’ve seen you Chris I need signs of life
Chris: I’m alive
Jill: I’d still like to see you to check in 

I groaned at my phone, having checked it after it vibrated with a new text. I was out just a few hours ago, it wasn’t my fault she wasn’t on the cameras then. Really I just didn’t want to move, the pain wasn’t as bad as our first time but I was still hurting enough that we probably had to be done for at least the rest of the day- maybe even tomorrow. Wesker turned his head to me to question what was wrong. We’d been laying naked on top of the blankets on my bed for a while now, neither of us willing to move away from each other but not wanting to cuddle too much in the dank heat we’d been creating in the enclosed space all night… and all day. 

“Cover up.” I told him as I carefully lifted myself to get the blanket out from under me to cover at least my lower body with. I lay on my stomach because it felt better than being on my back right now with all the scratched wounds I could still feel throbbing. During our last round of fucking I’d been riding Wesker as he bit at my neck and chest and scratched into my back. I’d managed to deal some damage back to him but of course he was already healed up. We’d yet to clean up and the cameras hadn’t seen my newest injuries though I was in no rush to explain them so I thought better of intentionally revealing them. “Can you cover my back?” I asked as the blond opted to move under the covers with me rather than get dressed so he lifted the blanket up to my shoulders for me. I had to wash all the bedding anyway so I didn’t really care about getting a little blood on the blanket. Reaching over to press the camera button had me aching all over again but I hit it and grabbed my phone again when it buzzed. 

Jill: You know the point of the cameras is to monitor Wesker in there
Chris: Well I don’t need to be monitored and he’s with me
Jill: For everyone else’s sake why not just leave the camera on if you’re not doing anything
Chris: Because we’re still naked
Jill: Then get dressed
Chris: It’s too hot for clothes
Jill: Yeah I heard about what you guys did yesterday how are you still going at it
Jill: You guys had sex days ago why are you only now going through your honeymoon phase 

I blushed at her questioning but didn’t turn around to look at the camera. 

Chris: Do you really wanna know
Jill: For your sake I feel like I need to
Chris: We went too rough the first time and I needed a few days to recover
Jill: Jesus Chris
Chris: We’ve found a good pace now though so I’m fine 

“Turn your phone’s vibration off or I’m leaving the room.” Wesker groaned, obviously not wanting to be serious with his threat but also not wanting to deal with the constant buzzing I knew irritated him. 

“Every time I leave it on silent I end up missing an important call or something.” I countered and the blond only grunted as a response but didn’t move. “How about you go make us some food while I finish this conversation?” 

“Later.” he was still refusing to move which I wouldn’t mind if I knew he wouldn’t continue to complain about my phone until he acted on his dislike of the ongoing mechanical buzz. 

“Well I’m hungry and I know you’ve got to be too by now. I need food and some sleep after the fuck fest we’ve had if we’re gonna keep going.” I explained and he gave a long exasperated sigh before he finally sat up, finding the motivation to get me taken care of that way we were that much closer to continuing our alone time activities. 

“Do you want me to tend to your wounds first?” Wesker asked and I hummed with a short nod as I continued texting my best friend. I was also still against moving but didn’t feel bad for making him get up since he was definitely feeling better than I was. 

“Just don’t let the camera see, I’d rather not have to explain my fucked up kink for a second time.” I called as he got out of bed to grab his pants and slip into them, my eyes watching his every move until he was clothed. I didn’t like that he was naked on camera even if it was only for a second but there wasn’t much to be done about it right now. Besides by now everyone that monitored the cameras, including Jill, had already seen him naked at least once. He turned back to give me a menacing smirk before he reached to grab the top of the blanket and pull it down my body. I flinched when I jerked up too suddenly to try to cover up before too much was seen but I failed miserably. “Damn it Wesker- I thought we were even now!” I accused but he only laughed that sadistic cackle as he went to open the door to air out the room a bit and leave me to deal with my undeserved punishment. My phone rang and I groaned again when I saw that it was Jill but I denied the call. If I was going to have to explain this again, I’d rather do it over text which was at least a little less awkward. 

Jill: Fuck Chris that’s what you call fine
Jill: Seriously are you okay
Chris: Yes I’m okay
Chris: You have to have already figured out that I’m a masochist
Jill: Yeah that’s obvious but you are covered in bruises and bleeding scratches
Jill: Isn’t it all a little excessive
Chris: I’ve had far worse
Jill: Sure in life and death situations not for something that should be fun
Chris: It is fun to us
Chris: Not like I’ve got any missions I need to be at the top of my game for anyway
Chris: Besides Wesker takes care of all the damage done 

As I said that my lover rejoined me on the bed, sitting with his legs crossed at my side as he again pulled the blanket down to start cleaning my back with a cool wet cloth. I didn’t fight it this time since he’d already exposed the damage. I sighed in relief at the chilled sensation he rubbed into my abused skin. 

“Asshole.” I muttered to him though my voice still sounded pleased with the work he was doing. The older man chuckled but gave no response since he at least knew he deserved that. “Am I bleeding much?” I asked as I folded my pillow under my chin for a little more elevation. 

“Only a little.” he answered and I nodded in understanding. 

Jill: Fine okay you’re right and to each their own
Jill: But seriously just be careful okay
Chris: We are being careful 

“When you’re done with that can you bring me more water?” I asked over my shoulder without looking away from my phone. I was enjoying doing my own thing while Wesker’s hands gently worked the soothing cloth over my sore back. 

“Yes. Would you like to get in the shower?” 

“Maybe after I eat.” my answer made Wesker sigh in disappointment, probably looking forward to pinning me against the shower wall again. He moved to lay partially over me, using his arm at my side to hold himself over me so as not to irritate my wounded back. 

“What do you want to eat?” Wesker asked as he buried his face in my hair, placing light kisses across my scalp as his lips moved down the side of my head. 

“Hm… meat.” he was effectively distracting me from my phone now, causing me to lower it and turn my head toward his approaching lips. I gave the blond a playful smile as he hummed in approval of my answer. 

“I’ll give you more of mine later.” his seductive whisper ghosted past my ear as his lips made their way to my cheek. I shivered in longing at the sensation and my face heated at the intentional way he got me going. But I wasn’t shy about this stuff with him anymore after all we’ve done so two could play this game. 

“And I’ll greedily take all of it.” I lowered my voice and spoke just a little slower through my promise before turning my head just enough to run my tongue across his lips. His next exhale sounded more like a moan against my mouth before his lips were on mine, softly and only for a moment. 

“Careful or we may need to postpone everything else.” he warned with another kiss. 

“I need food and rest first.” I reminded him and he hummed again as he pretended to consider it like it was something to be debated. 

“Tease.” he concluded and that made me chuckle into his next kiss. 

“You make it easy.” with one last sweet peck, Wesker sat up again to finish with my back. “Your dirty talking is getting better.” I told him as I unlocked my phone again since I had ignored it and now had a few new messages. 

“You’re not reacting to it as well as when I first did it.” I laughed at his near pouting tone. 

“Just because I’m getting used to it and not a blushing mess every time doesn’t mean it’s not still affecting me.” I told him as I moved my left hand over my shoulder and wiggled my fingers, only having to wait a moment before Wesker’s free hand slipped into mine so I gave him a reassuring squeeze. 

Jill: Give a girl some warning of incoming porn
Jill: I don’t think this is safe for work I can’t watch this on the clock
Jill: Seriously turn the camera back off if you’re going to fuck again 

I laughed and when Wesker looked over my shoulder to see what I found funny, I turned my phone so he could see the screen better. I saw him smirk before he turned to shake his head at the camera with a mischievous gleam in his eyes. Then I felt his hand release the cloth to leave on my back so his fingers could slip under the blanket to rub over my ass. I blushed and I rolled my eyes but didn’t stop him since I knew he was just messing with Jill and wouldn’t actually do anything right now… hopefully. 

Jill: I have a gun
Chris: A threat like that is only going to make him do more you know 

“I’ve already made him cum on camera once, don’t think I won’t do it again.” Wesker spoke as if talking directly to Jill so I very embarrassingly relayed the message. 

Jill: I have access to big guns 

I laughed over the two’s playfulness even though it was still partially at my expense. I actually had to stop him from trying anything though I knew he wasn’t serious about it, just seeing how far I’d let him push. He finished with my back then left me with a kiss before going to make me some food. 

Jill: What were you two fighting over earlier anyway
Chris: One of his letters
Chris: I was teasing him about it and he was trying to take it from me
Jill: What was it about
Chris: He was there when I asked you out back in stars
Jill: How were you the one teasing him over that and not the other way around
Chris: That’s probably what he wanted but he let it slip that he was jealous
Jill: Really
Jill: Even back then
Chris: Yeah but he won’t admit it 

There was a long pause without her responding so I figured her attention got taken by something else. Thinking over everything that happened back then, I found myself wondering what could have been. What if Jill had accepted a date? Would we have worked out? It was hard to imagine being closer to her than we already were, we shared everything and did pretty much everything together. It was even harder to imagine actually having any sort of romantic life with her now, I was happy with what we had and didn’t want it to change. But what if we had taken that path all those years ago? How different would our lives be now? Would there even be any changes? Maybe if someone else had gotten to my heart before Wesker… maybe it would have been easier to forget about him and do what needed to be done. He still would have needed to be taken out, that’s for sure, but maybe I would have pursued him less obsessively like Jill- been able to keep my head better rather than seeing nothing but red. Maybe it would’ve been easier to only hate him and accept that he was the bad guy without any other complicated emotions tied to him. I wouldn’t have mourned him and felt like I was suffering alone while missing our enemy. 

It also means I never would have ended up here with him. Even if he had still pursued me and we still ended up in this prison together, it would have ended up much like he said he imagined this going. With me a lot more hostile towards him and there being no sort of development between us because his crimes were too unforgivable and without my feelings for him I wouldn’t be able to see past them. This month would be hell for both of us and then what? I didn’t know how this would end so it was hard to imagine how it would end in a different reality where Jill and I were more than just partners. 

Chris: Weird question but do you think it ever would have worked out between us if we had tried back then
Jill: I really don’t know
Jill: I really like how we turned out and I wouldn’t change it for the world
Chris: Me neither I just had to wonder after going down memory lane
Jill: Not sure I haven’t thought about it
Chris: It’s actually kind of hard to think about
Jill: Yeah it is
Chris: I wonder how it would have changed what’s currently happening
Chris: Do you think this will end well for us
Chris: This whole thing with Wesker I mean
Jill: That depends on how much you’re able to change him
Chris: What do you mean??
Jill: Come on you both have changed from being together
Jill: There’s growth not just in your relationship but as individuals too
Jill: Every relationship is like that regardless of what kind of relationship it is 

I thought of all the ways Wesker had changed me throughout our long history. He changed my views on a lot of things when he gave me the chance to be a part of STARS, he changed the way I approached our work on the force, he changed the way I saw myself as I fell for him. He changed the way I trusted people when he betrayed us, he changed the way I saw my own strength when I found out he wasn’t human anymore, he changed the way I perceived good and evil after all he had done, he changed the way I chased after him in all the ways he toyed with me. He changed the way I looked at him when he saved Jill and brought her back to me, he changed the way I viewed my own obsessiveness over him, he changed the way I accepted myself and my repressed feelings, and… he was changing the way I saw my work. 

But how had I changed him? I knew Jill had to be right since even if he wasn’t exactly like a “normal” person even when he was human, I knew I had to have changed him here and there- I mean look at where we were now. It was hard to imagine the personal impacts I’ve had throughout his life but I guess I could see that I’ve changed the way he thinks of me and maybe even of humanity in general. He was here after all. 

Chris: Okay I take your point
Chris: That doesn’t really answer the question though
Jill: I don’t think there is an answer Chris
Jill: Maybe Wesker doesn’t even know what’s going to happen or what he’s going to do yet
Chris: Probably not much point in asking even if he does
Jill: Probably not
Jill: Try not to stress over it too much we’ll prepare the best we can and deal with whatever happens when we need to
Chris: Easier said than done
Jill: I know
Jill: But hey if we were in a relationship you’d have to accept that I’m right because that’s how that’s supposed to work right??
Chris: Would you actually enforce that though??
Jill: No I like my men like I like my partnerships doing things as a team
Chris: Then what’s the difference
Jill: Well for one the sex
Chris: So all we’re missing is the sex
Jill: After what I’ve learned about your kinks I’m not sure I could have sex with you 

I laughed again and flipped off the camera. 

Jill: I definitely wouldn’t be able to hurt you like you’re into
Jill: Do you like to hurt your sexual partner too or is it just you taking hits
Chris: I don’t know I’m still learning my preferences with this too
Chris: I don’t think I’d like hurting others I’ve never done that sexually before but I do kind of like trying to hurt Wesker during sex because it’s Wesker
Jill: I think I can sort of get that a little
Jill: The bastard’s cheating with his quick healing
Chris: That’s what I said 

There was another break in our conversation and this time it was Jill that started again. 

Jill: I don’t know “us” is weird to think about
Jill: I like our love as it is
Chris: We’re like the example of a boy and a girl being friends without there having to be more
Jill: Yeah!
Jill: Millions look to us for friendship guidance every day and weep at the perfection we’ve achieved 

I laughed and turned to smile at the camera for a second before settling back down to get comfortable again. Then Wesker came into my room to tell me my food was ready. 

~~~ 

Mistletoe  

I could do nothing to stop the team from decorating the office for the Christmas season but order that it remain sparse enough not to hinder working conditions. Unfortunately, I discovered they were quite resourceful in how they ensured all they brought in was out of the way, strung to walls or just overhead without hanging low enough to brush heads. I found the whole thing obnoxious- especially the caroling that haunted our room each day from the more vocally enthused of our members. But they weren’t doing anything wrong that I could punish them for- I checked, twice. There was nothing to help my case in the official rules of conduct and when I asked the chief of police about it he only told me to lighten up because they would do it regardless of the ruling. So I tried my damnedest to ignore the out of place decor and the extra lighting for the weeks I would have to endure the torment of the “Christmas spirit”. 

As I do with any situation, I made adjustments to remain on top of everything and thankfully there weren’t any events or happenings too noteworthy that came with the festivities. There were, however, irritants caused by my least favorite of the team’s decorations that they refused to remove because it was “tradition”. Mistletoe. It became the bane of my existence that year for the sole reason that somehow- despite it being moved numerous times and even destroyed, it always seemed to find its way above my head. With Chris Redfield under it alongside me. 

The first time it happened, nothing came of it aside from a little bit of chuckling that I barely noticed. The second it caused some stirring and some teasing more directed at Chris but I ignored it. By the fifth time it was said that the Christmas spirit was obviously trying to tell us something and there was more teasing also directed at me. This is when I began to take the plant down myself when the others wouldn’t but someone would always bring in more. No matter where in the station it was hung, Chris and I would always end up under it for some reason or another to the point I began to believe he was doing it intentionally. However, after watching him for some time as he absentmindedly approached me with the plant hanging in the space between us, I determined that he was uninvolved in the recurring annoyance. Besides, the teasing got to him much more than it did me so surely he wouldn’t be intentionally setting himself up for more of it. 

I began to keep an eye out for the cursed things as I made my way around the station each day. It wasn’t just my team- it seemed everyone was infected by this holiday and held onto these old traditions like a beloved heirloom. They were everywhere and I became very alert to their placements. I had a few other run ins with others as well, the men tended to either joke about it or act as if they hadn’t noticed while the women either got flustered or tried to kiss my cheek but I allowed no such thing. But these encounters were much fewer than the number of times it was Chris I found myself under the mistletoe with and he did a bit of everything. At first he sort of looked at me from the side of his vision but said nothing, then he tried to laugh it off as weird that it kept happening, then he got visibly embarrassed though he would nervously stand around as he waited for me to reject the traditional kiss and leave first. I wondered if he would actually do it if two men weren’t given an exception to the rule. Either way, I would not. 

Late in the season I avoided a close encounter with the green and red menace on the way back to the office, having to wait on one side of the hallway for two women to pass under it. One noticed it and they laughed over it as one pecked the other on the cheek before they continued on with their day so I could pass safely without having to interact with or reject either of them. Upon opening the door to the STARS office and stepping in, I noticed Jill leaning up to press an overexaggerated kiss onto Barry’s bearded face. I stopped in my tracks and took a few quick steps backward as my gaze shot upward to find the pesky plant… but I didn’t see any mistletoe. 

“Whoa!” a voice called out just as my back touched something. I turned to find Chris standing just behind me in the doorway with his hands now on my back to prevent me from fully colliding into him. There was the fucking mistletoe… above the door… above both Chris and I. 

“Damn you!” I growled at him which shocked him into quickly pulling his hands away from me as if I would set him ablaze. No doubt the dumbstruck expression was him trying to figure out what he had done wrong since it was me that had nearly run into him. Then he followed my gaze up and groaned just as others took notice and began to laugh. 

“Seriously you might as well just kiss and get it over with.” I leveled a glare in Joseph’s direction that shut him up then turned it onto my pointman. Of all the times for him to be back on time, why now when the mistletoe was out of my immediate sight and avoidance? 

“It was a coincidence!” he defended himself with a wildly exaggerated shrug, already as sick of this as I was. I grabbed his arm to pull him into the office and out of the way so I could reach up and tear the plant from the wall, being tall enough to reach without having to raise up onto my toes. 

“There are no coincidences.” I reminded him with a cold tone as I walked away, dropping the mistletoe into the nearest trash can. Jill made a quick move to grab it before it touched any garbage but ended up knocking the bin over instead which spilled at my feet. The woman sucked in a sharp and guilty breath as she looked up at me sheepishly. 

“Sorry Wesker.” she gave me a small apologetic smile as she quickly bent to start picking up the mess she made. I inhaled slowly before releasing the deep breath and resolving myself for the turn the day had taken. 

“It was an accident.” I dismissed the apology as I turned to get to my duties. 

“So you believe in accidents but not coincidences?” Chris called in accusation as he threw his arms up in irritated disbelief, an expression that lightened my mood at least a little. 

“I have to believe in accidents Chris, you were born after all.” I returned his sass and the room erupted into “oohhs” and “aahhs” and some laughter as my pointman’s expression turned to stunned defeat. I’m sure if I gave them comebacks like that often the brunet wouldn’t have been caught so off guard and would have been able to give another in return. I purposefully kept my stingers reasonably sparse to ensure I always got the last word when I did. Taking at least this victory today, I went about my work, making sure to avoid the mistletoe that was again hanging in our office later that same day though it was moved. 

That wasn’t the last time that season I’d gotten caught up with him in that situation but we both tried to avoid it, even each other by some point. When Chris called my name as he approached near the end of the holiday, I followed his gaze upward just to be sure we were in the clear to be near each other- we were. 

“Merry Christmas Captain.” he smiled happily at me as he held out a small box covered in blue wrapping paper with a green ribbon bow on top. It had the names of everyone on the team scrawled over it in their various handwriting. I’d seen them passing it around not long ago but didn’t know it was for me since I’d insisted on not being a part of their gift exchange. “It’s just a little thing from all of us.” he excused as if I might reject the gift. I wanted to but since it was just the one from everyone, I might as well take it to keep them from complaining. I took the box from him and opened it right there and then since everyone was already watching and waiting so eagerly. Who would be surprised that I pulled a branch of mistletoe from the box? I sighed deeply in disappointment at the “gift” even as the room was suddenly crowded with laughter. Before I could even feel upset directly at Chris for this move, I watched his face get redder as he turned to shout his objections at the rest of the team. “Okay I know I said it was from all of us and my name is on it but I swear I actually had nothing to do with this!” Chris exclaimed now to me in explanation. He didn’t have to convince me he didn’t actually know what the present was, his reaction to it was explanation enough that this was just as much a prank on him as it was on me. Surely him being the one to deliver the gift was intentional as well. I wordlessly replaced the plant back in the box and sealed it again where it remained locked away until I could dispose of it without anyone getting upset. 

Needless to say, I was quite glad when the holiday season was over and the decorations were taken down.

Chapter Text

Well the smug bastard got what he wanted this time. Yesterday his plan to embarrass and tease me backfired but it worked today. Reading through the letters I’d missed had me so thoroughly embarrassed it was hard to finish my food as I read. Of course I don’t remember that night and I’m sure if the alcohol hadn’t already helped with that, I would have tried my hardest to block it out of my memory anyway. Wesker spent the next hour and a half giving me hell over it as I tried to pretend like I wasn’t at all affected by his teasing- not that I was successful in that attempt. It wasn’t until later after I had eaten and showered, that I calmed down enough to think about other things. I lay on my stomach in bed as Wesker gave some more attention to my aching back. I was back to wandering through the realm of “what if” scenarios and missed opportunities. My conversation with Jill on the subject had gone smoothly and I was content with how it ended. 

“Hey Wesker?” I quietly called as his gentle hands worked over my battered skin. He only hummed in acknowledgment to tell me he was listening. I was glad he knew now that what happened back then was a misunderstanding and that I had wanted something more than sex with him even back then. If I wasn’t too drunk to only be thinking about my horniness rather than realizing the deeper implications of what Wesker had asked, would things have been different? If we had been able to reach each other back then and sort out our feelings before everything turned to shit… where would we be now? “If we had been able to communicate our feelings back in STARS what do you think would have happened?” he didn’t answer, didn’t give any indication to show that he had even heard me and if it wasn’t for his fingers still carefully massaging my back, I may have mistaken him for not being there. 

“I doubt anything would have happened Chris.” he finally sighed as if he regretted admitting it. “I wasn’t aware of what I was feeling for you back then and had I any inkling I would have denied it- possibly even viewed you as a threat. For a long time I had myself convinced my favor for you was because I found amusement in your suffering and the way you chased after me, which isn’t incorrect but it’s not the full truth.” I rolled my eyes at that but I didn’t take any offense, I already knew what he was like. “I think any discussion of the matter in a positive setting would have the risk of you becoming an official obstacle to be dealt with rather than anything ‘happening’ between us.” he explained and I nodded a little to myself. It made sense that discovering he loved me back then would have only painted a target on my back because things like “love” were seen as weaknesses to him and would only be something to get rid of. Honestly… it made me sad. It would be nice to think that if only we could have been honest with ourselves and with each other then somehow I could have changed Wesker’s heart. It would be nice to think that maybe we could have avoided a lot of the bad shit that happened to us. It would be nice to think that we could have had a happy life together. It made me sad to know none of that was ever a possibility for us. 

“Well you know now,” I pointed out as my hand moved from under my chin to resting at my shoulder, my open fingers waiting for his to slide up my back to meet them. “and there’s definitely something ‘happening’ between us.” we both chuckled as his fingers trailed up my spine before locking with mine at my shoulder. “What makes now different?” again it took him a few minutes to think of his answer. Finally he lowered himself onto his elbow to be next to me so we could look at each other, my eyes finding his light orange ones. 

“My own free will.” he told me seriously. “I’ve always needed to have my next steps figured out in advance to be ahead of everyone else. I know now it wasn’t my will to be so constantly pressing forward, to never be without purpose but I believed it at the time. ‘Feelings’ never played into any of those molded plans. When I went to see Spencer I didn’t have a plan for what I would do after because I didn’t know what to expect from the encounter, I simply needed answers. When I killed him, I felt renewed in a way I can’t explain and I didn’t know what exactly to do with myself. It was like finally completing something that took much work, I felt like I was in that drifting place between important tasks with no idea what to do next. And there you were.” he turned my hand in his to be able to place a kiss on the back of it. “I turned to you for a distraction from what I was going through but I found I was suddenly able to consider things I’d previously thought of as irrelevant. I had to wonder why you were a source of comfort in such a trying time for me despite the hatred I convinced myself was at the foundation of our relationship.” he moved his other hand to caress my face. “Suddenly your existence caused me confusion as the half truths I’d told myself seemed glaringly obvious and I had to fill in the blanks but I needed your help to do that.” a knowing smile painted itself on my lips when I noticed the dim glow in his eyes. “With your help I’ve learned that it isn’t hate at our foundation and with my own free will I’ve come to accept and cherish that.” I accepted his lips when he leaned in to kiss me, slow and filled with care. 

A lot has happened between us in our long history with many emotions building over our foundation: respect, envy, lust, longing, betrayal, loss, hatred, regret. Because of these varying emotions we’ve shared many varying relationships from coworkers, friends, enemies, lovers. But at the very center of everything we’ve ever been, at our foundation, has always been something akin to love. So our past was set in stone and wouldn’t have been able to be changed regardless of whether we confessed to each other. But we were here now- wasn’t that the important thing? 

“You were right.” he told me when we parted and he rested his forehead on mine. “When you said that making Spencer’s vision a reality wouldn’t have been my own will even if I was the god in his place. While we’ve been here I’ve done a lot of thinking about the things I was raised to believe and what I want to believe now. There’s still more to consider and plan for but I feel drastically clearer about much of it. I thank you for that.” I breathed in his air as he spoke and tilted my head up to capture his lips again as my response to his appreciation. 

“I’ve been thinking about a lot too.” I sighed as I straightened and Wesker’s head came away from mine though he didn’t move his body. “Other than everything going on with us.” I clarified before turning onto my side so we were facing each other. “And I think you’re right too. There’s so much the BSAA does now that I disagree with- there have been too many times we haven’t been able to help people in the most efficient way. People die when we could have done something sooner or acted in a different way but were unable to.” I had too many examples to count of just such occurrences. “Sometimes we know who the bad guys are but we can’t do anything about the things they’re doing because the legal evidence just isn’t there or they have the power and money to cover it up.” 

“Umbrella is a great example of that.” Wesker supplied, following where I was going with this and I nodded in agreement. Umbrella’s founders, namely Oswell Spencer, were careful- great at covering their tracks, had deep pockets, and friends in high places. That’s why it took so many years to actually take them down even after their more nefarious work was outed. But even then the company was only killed on paper, too many of their heads, researchers, and projects got out and continued the work. It was because of them that all this shit would never end. 

“Yeah and so is everything that happened earlier this year with O’Brian.” I sighed again and moved to rub at my face tiredly. “I still disagree with his extreme methods to catch Landsdale but more and more I find myself understanding why he felt it was his only option. If I was in his situation I would have gone about it a bit differently but I would have done whatever I thought was necessary to take him down too even if that meant resorting to trickery.” I explained. “I’m not sure I’m ready to say my time with the BSAA is done but I think you’re right that I need to consider changing how I’m fighting in this war because… I don’t think I’m content with what I’m doing right now.” I saw Wesker’s eyes darken a little, the glow was still there but they didn’t change to red and I felt his muscles tense slightly though I didn’t know what to make of any of it. “We all used to be so clear and open with each other about everything that was going on, if anyone said anything it was usually reliable. But these days there are too many times I find myself doubting others or needing to double check facts. I’ve been lied to and betrayed or double crossed too many times to just blindly trust anyone. If I can’t trust everyone in the organization, how can I be a part of it when our work is literally life and death?” I stopped there for a bit as I tried to collect my thoughts and Wesker was patient, somehow knowing I had more to say but never pressuring me to say it. 

“And I… god this is fucked…” I huffed in frustration and Wesker adjusted to rub my side since my back was wounded, if I was ticklish maybe the action may have ruined the somber mood. “Too often I find myself thinking that it’d just be easier to kill our enemies than to bring them to justice. Cut off the snake’s head and all that. It’s easier and I think safer when they end up dead instead of taken into custody because then it’s just over for them and we can better contain the problems they caused.” I closed my eyes as if I could block out these dark impulses I’d been denying for a long time but it got harder every day I pushed back in this fight against bioterrorism. “You put me on this pedestal before and normally I’d agree that I at least have really strong morals but I feel like I’m slipping more and more. It’s getting harder to resist the urge to just pull the trigger even if it’s not absolutely necessary.” I opened my eyes again to see Wesker’s gaze on me and shivered… he looked almost victorious hearing me admit to how I felt like I was losing ground on a moral battle inside myself. It reminded me of every time he ever taunted me about my “self righteousness” and tried to break my spirit. I don’t know why I didn’t expect him to react viciously to learning what he’s been trying to do has been happening on its own. I couldn’t look at him right now. I sat up and brought my knees up to fold my arms over, resting my chin on my arms as I glared at my closed door. 

“I didn’t mean to upset you.” Wesker spoke up after a moment as he sat up next to me but didn’t touch me. Groaning and closing my eyes again, I tried to block out the world. 

“It’s fine. I should’ve known this would have been good news to you.” of course the war between us wasn’t over either just because we were together now, everything between us was too complicated for something that simple. Of course he wouldn’t apologize for it either, he wasn’t sorry- not that I expected him to be. I guess this is the kind of irritation he felt when I was feeling glad to learn he was going soft for me and I wasn’t sorry for that. He was glad to hear I was slipping towards darkness and though that annoyed me, I couldn’t exactly fault him for it. It was a harsh reminder that we were still on opposite sides. 

“I doubt this is what you want to hear Chris but I believe you should embrace this change.” he told me to break the long silence that had stretched between us. “You’ll reach a point where you can no longer deny the change and you won’t be able to control its direction. You must reflect and find the best course to adapt before then even if you find that difficult to do. I’ve had to do it and you’ll have to do it as well.” he got out of bed, my eyes opening to follow his movement as he turned the camera on. “Because as much as it pains you and as much as it will change you, you have to be fighting this fight Dearheart.” he leaned to kiss the top of my head, lingering for a moment longer than he normally did before finally sighing and straightening. “You wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if you weren’t. Bad things will continue to happen and if you weren’t there to help prevent the loss of life, you wouldn’t be able to rest knowing there was more you could’ve done.” my heart sank a little more at that because I knew he was right, he was entirely right about every little bit of what he said. Especially the part about it not being what I wanted to hear… but as usual, it was what I needed to hear. I watched as he made for the door. “Get some rest pet, I’ll be in my room writing if you wish to continue speaking about this.” then he was gone without waiting for my response. Of course he knew me well enough to know that I would want some time alone to think and process this. Maybe he didn’t want to be lingering around as I was being a bit emotional since he still often didn’t know how to be helpful during such times in a positive way. Even if the only positive thing he felt he could do for me was to leave me be, he was trying not to push me in a negative way. At least that was progress. I was grateful that he was at least leaving himself available to try to do more to help me if I wanted it but for now I did just want some time and space to think. 

Of course he was right… he was always right. Could factoring and adapting to this “change” be how I change how I fight? 

… … … 

Jill: We finally got another agent on to help with the monitoring schedule
Jill: It’ll be nice not to have to spend so many hours every day here 

I lay with Wesker on the couch, he was politely pretending to watch whatever movie was on even while I was clearly distracted by my phone. I’d just gotten off the phone with Claire, just some general checking in, when Jill messaged me and we got into a longer conversation than I first thought we would today. I was slouched against the sofa with my back in the corner of it and my legs spread for Wesker to lay between with his head on my stomach as he laid across the cushions, his feet propped onto the opposite arm of the couch. He acted like he wasn’t reading our conversation but I knew he was, I just didn’t care since Jill and I weren’t talking about anything important. We were trying to be considerate of the new monitor today and actually spend some time out of my room to be in the view of all the cameras but in all honesty, we were both pretty bored. 

Chris: A replacement for that homophobic asshole you didn’t like
Jill: Hell yeah
Chris: Who is it
Jill: Adely something I can’t remember their name right now
Chris: Oh Agent Mutsumi
Chris: I’ve talked to them a few times I think they’ll be a good monitor
Jill: Yeah they seem alright so far
Jill: They promised not to take their eyes off the screens for a second
Chris: I’m glad you’re getting some relief
Jill: Yeah so try not to traumatize this one with all your elicit activities
Chris: Traumatize??
Chris: One of us here is absolute eye candy and I’m not bad looking myself 

I heard Wesker lightly scoff in a fond way, probably agreeing about himself being eye candy but believing I wasn’t giving myself enough credit. I chuckled and bent to kiss his head but he reached up to grab the back of my head as he tilted his own up to make me kiss his lips instead. I pushed the kiss deeper and enjoyed the feeling of his tongue sliding over my lips only to be invited eagerly into my mouth. The angle was weird but it allowed exploration of new sections which I willingly took advantage of. His fingers gripped my hair and tugged back just hard enough to tease me but light enough to not garner a real reaction. By the time we released each other’s lips, I was feeling more than a little horny for more. His eyes dared me to try something though I was sure he wanted to initiate, he was allowing me to make the first move since I was the one that said we needed to spend some time out here. Still, that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to make it harder for me to resist him. The damn sexy bastard knew just how to get me going… maybe going back to my room for the rest of the day wouldn’t be that bad. 

I didn’t have the mindset to pay attention to my phone yet when Wesker took it from me, quickly typing out a message to my best friend. My eyes slid to the two texts she had sent while we were making out and then read over his message… unfortunately just as he sent it. 

Jill: Just because you’re enjoying your assignment doesn’t mean the rest of us aren’t actually working
Jill: No one was expecting this job to come with watching porn
Chris (W): Add it to the job description because we’re not stopping. 

He was offering my device back to me before I could actually start to freak out about it. 

“Wesker!” I objected as I snatched my phone out of his offering hand but he only chuckled as he settled back against me. 

Jill: Uh WTF Chris??
Chris: That was Wesker I swear he took my phone!!
Jill: That makes too much sense
Jill: You really shouldn’t let him have your phone
Chris: He gave it right back
Chris: Anyway we won’t
Chris: No more sex stuff outside of my room
Chris: Promise 

“That’s no fun.” the blond complained with an almost cute pout, tilting his head up slightly to plead with me to reconsider. 

“Sex in my room or no sex at all.” I told him strictly, having to put my foot down about it or it would cause more problems later. 

“We could always use a blanket to-” 

“Fuck. No.” I cut him off, having already heard the… admittedly enticing suggestion. Earlier he was laying on the couch by himself waiting for me to grab a pillow from my room for my back and he’d been staring at me as I moved. He tried tempting me to grab a blanket too and to use it to cover us both and… he intentionally lowered his voice so I’d really have to listen as he slowed his speech in a seductive manner. He started to go into detail about how he wanted me to fuck myself on top of him. I knew it wasn’t that he actually wanted to have sex on camera, he just liked messing with me plus he said he liked how tense it made me… he was curious how that tension would feel from the inside. “I can ride you in bed and you’ll just have to deal without me being super tense from being watched because we’re not fucking on camera.” the older man huffed and crossed his arms as he straightened so I couldn’t watch as his orange eyes went red. I also knew he wasn’t dissatisfied with our sex as it was, it was just that he had set his mind to something and I was getting in the way of him having it. I was still waiting for him to try something more… aggressive to get me to do it anyway because as he’s already said, “he doesn’t play fair when what he wants is on the line”, but he’s been mostly respectful of my set boundary thus far. 

~~~ 

What if  

In the event that a “normal” life had been an option for us, I’m still debating whether we would work in the long run. Had we entered a relationship back in STARS when I would still need to hide my more “toxic” traits, I think we could have worked out well. At least for some time. Being genuine with my feelings, I would find value in continuing the relationship despite challenges that would be sure to arise. Watching your reddened flustered reaction to the beginning of our sexual relationship would have been even more dramatic when you were younger and perhaps more convinced of the social taboos of same sex couples. It would have been even more entertaining back then to watch your adjustment to being with me and teasing you would have given me much amusement. 

However I believe you would become more comfortable arguing with me over things, especially if you were to start noticing my subtle manipulations or the lies that would have to surround us. I would grow to wonder if you were worth the trouble or if the relationship was growing too problematic to my goals or my position with Umbrella. You’re no fool so surely had I allowed you closer to me back then you would have eventually taken notice of the “shady” things I was a part of. 

I would like to say we could have made things work but ultimately I’m unsure that desire is realistic for the time and where we both were within ourselves. Since we’re exploring fanciful “what if” scenarios, we can ignore those more realistic challenges and focus on what we would have liked to happen. 

I would have enjoyed making you mine more completely than I currently am able. I’m sure you would agree it would have been nice to grow through time together, adapting as society would have accepted us and you could show me off as yours. We could have told the rest of the team, gone on dates, maybe moved in together. Perhaps I could have met your sister under better circumstances and not instantly been an enemy to her. Not that I have an interest in that, it would have been purely for your benefit back then just as it is now. 

I consider this all fantasy because the only reason I believe we work now where we could not have back in STARS is for the reason of you having an understanding of my nature. Without my secret employment with Umbrella and my “bad guy” status already revealed to you, I don’t need to hide what I’m like from you and you’ve already accepted the way that I am. Therefore I have no need to manipulate you into liking me or believing that I’m a decent person. I’m free to be myself without the worry of scaring you off. Likewise I understand you and your nature and have accepted the differences in our morals. All this allows us to more fully accept one another and work together on things rather than conflict as we would have before. 

I can’t understand why either of us are as invested in each other as we are- especially given our history. But I’m glad for it, all of it. I’m not saying there wouldn’t be certain events I wouldn’t have changed given the chance but I am enjoying how we’ve turned out. Perhaps in another life we could have ended up living together like this somewhere with no surveillance and under “healthier” conditions. I usually find such wonderings into the impossible to be a waste of time but this thought exercise has been a bittersweet one. You haven’t scared me off and despite everything I haven’t managed to scare you off yet either. At this point I’m not sure I believe I can. 

Just know that despite the fears I know you have about how all this will end, I’ve thoroughly and sincerely enjoyed our time together. There’s much I would give to have more time like this with you. 

Chapter Text

“Ow- fuck! Not so hard.” I complained through a breathy moan then Wesker’s teeth came away from my shoulder. I wanted to reach back to feel if I was bleeding from that one but I knew better than to possibly ruin this for both of us, I’d probably smell the metallic scent of it if I was anyway. Quickly throwing my hand onto the wall in front of me, I was able to stabilize myself for his next aggressive thrust into me- maybe going harder in fucking since I made him stop biting. I’d already cum but rather than be driven to cum again, I only got overstimulated. It wasn’t painful but it was exhausting and I barely had the strength to keep myself upright against the continued assault on my ass. Wesker’s dick pounded me into my desk but I was resolved to remain up, my legs holding me straight and my hands supporting on the hard surface under me. 

I hadn’t been expecting this today, I’d just been about to leave the room for some food when I noticed for the briefest of moments that the recording light on the camera just overhead turned off. The next thing I knew Wesker was slamming me into the wall as he yanked my pants down to my knees. He was inside me the next moment and from his teasing about how tense I was, I guessed he was trying to get at least close to what he was thinking it might feel like to fuck me while I was tense and nervous- like from being watched while doing it. Unfortunately for him it didn’t last that long since I eased back into him after the initial shock was over. I guess he didn’t like that because he got more aggressive after that, later pinning me face down to my desk though I eventually fought my way up onto my hands. 

“Chris.” the blond behind me growled as his arms wrapped around my torso and lifted me to a standing position, thankfully helping to hold me up so I didn’t fall. His face buried into my neck but he didn’t start biting me again, instead his lips forming muffled whispers of my name. I knew he was about to finish in me, his body tensing and his fingers digging into my chest and stomach as he tightly held onto me. His thrusts sped up even more and I threw my head back onto his shoulder as I cried out at the intense sensation. He came with a final vocalization of my name, his hips stuttering with his release. As soon as the blond’s arms loosened their grip on me, my body fell forward onto the desk because I was far too tired to keep myself up. Wesker slumped against my back, panting almost as heavily as I was. I had to move my elbow under me to prevent his added weight on top of me from pinning me to the desk’s surface. I was too worn out to support my own weight, let alone his but I didn’t say anything about it for now. I’d let him have his moment of aftermath bliss before I spoke up to get both of us back to bed. 

As far as I was aware I blinked and opened my eyes again to changed surroundings. No longer was I at my desk with Wesker leaning over me, I was in bed now staring up at the ceiling. Turning my head to the right, I saw my lover asleep next to me and smiled in relief. I could only assume that I passed out from sheer exhaustion and Wesker carried me to bed before falling asleep with me. Though upon inspecting myself a little more, I realized he first took the time to clean me up and even dressed both of us in a pair of sweatpants. I carefully turned over and kissed the other man’s head before resting back on the pillow. From my movement he stirred, scooting closer to me and slinging his arm over my waist before settling again with a more content expression. I hummed to myself in satisfaction and leaned forward just enough to gently press my lips to his. 

“I’m sleeping.” he muttered tiredly though he didn’t sound like he was complaining and I chuckled. 

“I’m not keeping you up.” I stated before kissing him again. 

“That’s exactly what you’re doing.” he countered though he opened his light orange eyes to see me as he pulled himself up onto his elbow so he could lean over me. He continued to kiss me, subtly pushing me onto my back as I wrapped one arm around his shoulders and the other touched his side and slid around his lower back. I deepened the kiss and he accepted my tongue as one of his arms moved to my other side to help keep him up. When he pulled away from my mouth I made a sound of objection which made him chuckle darkly at my pouting. He laid himself over my chest and settled his head into the crook of my neck. I was hoping he was going to continue but no, he was just getting comfortable so he could fall back asleep. 

“This was a trick.” I complained in disapproval even as I wrapped my arms around his body to hold him close to me. 

“Sorry Dearheart but I am rather tired.” the blond explained and I nodded in understanding. I was too- and getting more sore the longer we were at it, but the desire to be even closer to Wesker hadn’t left me yet. In all honesty… it was only getting stronger. I didn’t want to admit it but I was getting nervous and fear was creeping its way into me with each passing hour. We only had a few days left together like this. Though I’d decided to accept these happy times, I was still afraid of what would come next. I wanted to be as close with Wesker as I could before it was potentially over. “Rest now Chris, I can fuck you more later.” hearing those seductive words sent shivers of excitement through me. 

“Hearing you talk like that is still kinda weird.” I commented even as I settled back into the mattress. 

“I thought you liked it, that’s the only reason I’ve been doing it.” he stated with confusion as he turned his head to look at me. 

“I do.” I told him with a quick nod. “I’m just still getting used to it.” seeming satisfied with that answer, Wesker went silent and soon dozed off on top of me. I spent a sleepless while running my fingers up and down his back before I too drifted back into the darkness. 

… … … 

Wesker tilted his head at me curiously when I trailed off from telling my story and didn’t continue. We had tried to watch some tv after my workout was finished but we both got bored with it so we just ended up reading letters and talking instead. He waited for some time before asking what was wrong but I only shrugged and settled against him on the couch. 

“It’s just a little strange to me, talking about all the happier times I usually try to forget.” I told him before pressing my face into his chest. We started with a little more about that “what if” scenario which always included STARS and the possibility of it not ending the way it had. That turned into us just sharing stories about our time back then and rather than trying not to think about the positive memories that hurt to remember, I laughed along with my unlikely lover. Even things we had both been there for were nice to talk over and get each other’s perspectives. Especially because Wesker was such a stone wall that I never understood back then, it was nice that I could now ask about his side of things from things I may have misunderstood. 

“You have expressed that I was the most painful part of everything that happened back then.” the blond pointed out as he trailed his fingers softly over my scalp. “Perhaps this new acceptance between us has lifted some of that bitterness to allow the good to feel like it finally outweighs the pain.” he theorized and I nodded slightly. 

“Maybe.” I sighed and placed a kiss on his shoulder where I could easily reach. “You remember before when I said I wasn’t sure I could be happy again?” I felt him nod his head. “I think that was always in part because of STARS. Whenever I think about ‘happiness’ I think about what we all had back then because that was the first time I’d felt like I belonged anywhere since my parents died. You were a big part of that.” Wesker shifted a little to get his arm around me, his hand resting over my shoulders as the other continued to idly play with my hair. “I know I can’t go back to the happier times in STARS and I think maybe I was afraid that nothing would be as good as that or if it was, that I would lose it too.” 

“Does that make me like a bridge between the happier times in STARS and something that can bring you new happiness?” the older man asked and I chuckled a little. 

“Something like that, I think. Since I’ve been here I’ve been revisiting all those old memories and I’m learning to view them with a more positive mindset. I think the friends I lost would be glad I’m remembering them well as they were rather than getting depressed over where they could be now if they had survived.” a quiet minute drifted between us before Wesker moved again, using his hand to turn my head up toward him. He kissed me and I accepted it, I accepted every part of him. It was slow and meaningful, kind. 

“I’m proud of the development you’ve made while you’ve been here.” he told me sincerely and I only smiled as I moved to kiss him again. I was proud too, of myself and of him. We’d both changed each other and found a nice middle ground to exist together in this shared prison. I was still fearful of what would happen in a few more days but I wouldn’t let it ruin what we’d built because it made me happier than I’ve been in a very long time. 

~~~ 

Jill’s Recovery  

My eyes shot to the camera feed pulled up on the tablet to my right when a short alarm went off. Jill’s vitals were displayed on the upper left corner of the screen and they were dropping. I wasn’t the only one to notice and soon three people surrounded the still figure on the medical bed in the center of the room. Machines breathed for her and IVs pumped all the essential fluids, medicine, and blood into her but it all only kept her alive. Every now and then an organ would attempt to shut down or some part of her internal system would fight against the test drugs which would nullify the crucial aid being delivered. Saying it was challenging to keep her alive was an understatement. We were managing to keep her alive but getting her to a point of stabilization simply wasn’t happening. The team I currently had assembled wasn’t accustomed to keeping their subjects alive, myself included, we took life and created a new form of another life. Saving lives was never part of the job. 

I exhaled heavily and rubbed at my tired eyes as I pried them from the screen. There was nothing I could do about it and going there to try to force someone to improve her condition was unrealistic. Alex’s team would be here first thing in the morning and they would be able to at least keep her more stable while I finished the modified strain of the T virus for her. I turned my attention back to what I was doing and returned my exposed eyes to the microscope I’d been studying before hearing the alarm. Due to the distraction I’d missed the actual reaction but now the DNA sample was shown to be completely taken over by the virus. I grunted my disapproval at another failure. 

Leaning back to rub my eyes again, I thought over my next steps for this project. At least I had ready access to as many samples from Jill as I needed. 

… … … 

Her vitals were looking much better than before, at least she was stabilized now. Having a competent medical team overseeing her care meant that I hadn’t been needed here to ensure things got done. I’d kicked everyone else from the room as I injected the virus into her, of course it was believed it was a safety measure just in case she mutated but truly I just didn’t want anyone else around. I’d waited with her alone as I watched for signs of improvement because I was sure she wouldn’t mutate. It didn’t take all that long for her vitals to improve further, her heart rate leveled out and her oxygen levels rose from the shallow decline they’d been at before. It would be some days at least before she would no longer need the oxygen mask, even longer before she wouldn’t need the IVs and other machines but it was a great start to her recovery. 

Days later as I was checking on her progress, marveling at my own ability to design this strain so perfectly to do exactly as I wanted it to, that I began to notice an unintended side effect. Her hair and skin seemed lighter than even just the day before. If it had just been her skin I could chalk it down to the blood loss or the lack of sunlight but she was even paler now than she had been when she was first brought in and blood loss was even more of a factor. But I could discern no reason why her hair would be lighter now as well. After some testing had revealed the virus wasn’t killing or turning her in any way, the team ruled out other factors as well, we determined the loss in pigmentation was simply a side effect. That… agitated me. I suppose the nature of viruses wouldn’t allow every effect to be predicted but that didn’t mean I couldn’t be upset by that fact. 

… … … 

It took time but eventually Jill was completely stable and in not only a healthy condition- but an excellent one. She had yet to wake up and the sedatives she was kept on made sure she wouldn’t until I wanted her to. Her skin remained ashen, her hair had become a blonde lighter than my own, and her eyes turned a gray tone I was sure would likely give her headaches as I once suffered. 

Even though I was slightly agitated by the experiment not going entirely my way, the main goal had been achieved which meant it was a success overall. Jill’s life was saved, now to get her to Chris.

Chapter Text

I scrolled through the news on my phone, stopping to read an article that caught my eye here and there but overall there wasn’t really anything interesting going on. I guess that’s a good thing, it would be psychotic to wish for bad things to be happening. Speaking of psychos, Wesker was looking at me oddly again- or rather he was looking at my food in disgust. I was eating pickles with peanut butter as a snack and I was far used to this kind of reaction to my “weird” tastes so it didn’t bother me at all. This wasn’t the only thing I ate that got a grossed out side eye and try as I might to explain why I liked a “weird” food combination, no one seemed to get it. Getting people to actually try whatever I was eating got mixed results, most of the time someone would take the tiniest taste and double down on calling it disgusting but a few actually ended up siding with me on liking it. Wesker refused to even try it, he’d already eaten lunch with me and claimed he wasn’t hungry. 

“I’m not making you eat it.” I reminded him yet again, still kind of amused that he was so against trying it. I didn’t press him on it, I never did with anyone. Even if what I was eating was “normal” I wasn’t going to force my tastes onto another person. Wesker shook his head but didn’t say anything else because we’d already agreed to both shut up about it since we couldn’t agree on the matter. That didn’t stop his expression from scrunching up every time I took a bite though which I took some level of humor in. A new message from Jill distracted me from my unintentional torment of my lover. 

Jill: We need to talk 

A stone dropped in my stomach over the vague but serious text. I picked up my phone from where it was laying on the table while I was idly scrolling on it so that Wesker could no longer see it. 

Chris: What about?
Jill: In your room that way Wesker doesn’t get nosy about your reaction 

“Chris?” Wesker called and I looked at him to see concern on his features over the obvious drop in my mood. Sorry Jill, too late on that. 

“I don’t know yet, Jill just said we need to talk and I’m sure you know better than anyone the nervousness that puts in most people.” I smiled weakly and acted like I was shrugging it off. “Maybe something happened, maybe she just had a bad day.” he smirked and nodded a little. 

“It gets you thinking about what they want to talk about and your mind instantly goes to the worst case scenario. It’s a tactic I intentionally used on you a lot back in STARS to imply threat when I wanted you to quiet down.” he explained almost smugly though he didn’t have to, I remembered all the times he did it. The anxiety that caused me when I actually did do something I tried hiding from him and he kept me waiting to figure out if he actually knew about it was damn near impossible to play it cool with. 

“Yeah, using people’s insecurities against them for your own advantage, you’re so original and clever.” I rolled my eyes as I got up to put my snack away. 

“It’s not the originality of the deceit that makes it clever, it’s the way it’s executed.” he called back to me. “You never wisened up to it therefore you can’t claim my methods aren’t clever.” I headed to my room, stopping in the doorway to keep talking to the blond man. 

“Whatever you say Mr. Holmes.” I sarcastically remarked and he turned to look at me with a daring expression for the challenge. 

“Go, before I decide I have to punish you for talking back to me.” I laughed over the threat but stepped fully into my room and shut the door. As soon as it clicked shut my smile fell now that I was free to express my worry over what was going on. I called my best friend and she picked up on the first ring. 

“Sorry to do this now but I figured it was a good time since you were about done eating.” the blonde woman excused and I nodded before looking up at the camera to see if it was on or off, genuinely not remembering what state it was left in. It was off and I contemplated turning it on so she could see me but figured it wasn’t necessary since we were just on the phone so I left it off. 

“Yeah so what’s up?” I questioned, eager to figure out what the anticipation was for. 

“Welcome back to work, we’ve got a new mission coming up that we need you in the loop for.” she stated and I let out a relieved breath that nothing terrible had happened. Plus hearing that I was being allowed to get back into work stuff was among the greatest things I’d heard in a while- I was so sick of just sitting around waiting all this time. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my time here with Wesker and all but like he said, I was a man of action and wasn’t suited for idle nothingness. “Before you go celebrating…” she sighed and took just a moment to continue but didn’t keep me waiting long enough to press for what she was talking about. “They decided to try to hack Wesker’s phone and failed. The whole thing’s fried… I’m sorry Chris.” she dropped the news and it felt like a bombshell going off in my chest. A long silence stretched between us as she allowed me some time to process the awful news… so much for nothing terrible happening. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. They tried… but… why? 

“When?” I finally asked though it only came out as a shocked whisper. 

“Halfway through the month. I was only told about it the other day and I was instructed not to tell you until now so you couldn’t accidentally tip Wesker off.” she explained and I began to pace as my free hand ran through my hair. I wasn’t angry that she didn’t tell me as soon as she found out, it made sense not to tell me until now because even Wesker acknowledged that he could read me well enough that I don’t need to say anything to tell him things. I was angry that the fucking director signed off on the tech guys even trying! Wesker warned them not to- he warned them it would destroy all the information! One month- why couldn’t they wait just a little longer when it wasn’t even them who was sacrificing so much? It was me that was sacrificing! It was me that got stuck in here! It was me that put my life on hold to do this for the betterment of the world! It was me that put my life on the line not knowing Wesker’s plans for me down here! It was me that wasn’t allowed out even when I said I was done with all this! It was me that ended up handing my heart over to the enemy because of this time together. I’d risked so much… and for what? Nothing. All the time and work and money that’s gone into making sure Wesker could be detained here… and they threw it all away. One month… Wesker was going to unlock his phone for us, he was going to hand everything over as soon as the month was done… and they slapped his generosity away. 

Wesker mentioned from the very beginning that he had all the data backed up on a physical drive but in order to retrieve it, he’d have to be physically there. I was sure we’d built up enough security to ensure Wesker would be stuck here for as long as he deserved to be in custody but if we had to take him out of here… he would get away. It was the perfect chance for him to escape- he would have the home field advantage and who knew what he had set up there beforehand to specifically be able to aid his getaway! But a lot’s changed now, right? Would he really still just leave me like that? I had no way of knowing and clearly I couldn’t just ask him right now since it’d be smarter to try my hardest not to tip him off about his ruined phone. The less time he had to think of a plan the better… not that he wouldn’t already have several ready before he even surrendered himself. Obviously the old plan would have been to escape but maybe that’s changed because of all that’s happened between us… maybe he could be content staying here and I could visit as much as we both wanted. But what if that wasn’t enough? What if I wasn’t enough? 

“Are we planning an escort mission?” I put my head into my usual workspace to avoid where my thoughts were wandering because that was dangerous territory. We’d have to escort Wesker to wherever he had the backup data, keep him in check as he retrieved it, and get him back here. We certainly had our work cut out for us. 

“We’re going to have a conference meeting with a few higher ups about it tomorrow to talk about building a team, equipment allowances, and whatnot. You’ll have to make sure Wesker stays in his room so you can join remotely and he won’t hear what we’re planning.” there was a little bit of smug pride to her tone as she continued. “From the sounds of it, they want you as team captain to give direction and advice since you know Wesker best so they’re hoping you’ll know what to expect.” I wasn’t sure about knowing what to expect but I was sure I at least knew Wesker and his methods enough to be able to predict or spot some of the potential traps or something which was better than nothing. I’d always wanted to be a captain but I didn’t really like it happening indirectly because of Wesker like this. 

“Send me the details for the meeting tomorrow and I’ll make sure I’m ready and presentable.” I told her rather than talking more about things right now as I would have if I was okay. 

“Chris?” my best friend asked, picking up on the depression in my voice and dismissal of the needed conversation. I hung up on her without saying goodbye and sat heavily on my bed with my head in my hands. I felt empty inside but weighed down so much as if the shell of me was made of dense lead. Why was I so surprised by this turn of events? It was pretty standard in my life for things to go wrong especially when I was finally starting to feel good about my chances for happiness again. I felt alone and betrayed by everyone. Jill didn’t betray me, I understood why she didn’t tell me earlier and I would have done the same thing, she was just the messenger here but I still needed a little time. Wesker would betray me again as soon as he was able- there’s no way he didn’t have some kind of setup that would help him escape wherever the backup was stored. Even now that he cared about me too, he was still a selfish bastard that would look out for himself first, he would choose himself over me every time. It actually made me angry that I couldn’t really fault him for that because it wasn’t wrong to have a good sense of self preservation. But I wanted it to be wrong- I wanted him to choose me even if it meant he would remain locked up until he died… but he would never see it that way. 

The betrayal I felt the hardest was from the BSAA as a whole. This organization was my life, I’d helped raise it from nothing to the giant it is now… and now I got to watch as new leaders made poor choices and turned it more and more into a political corporation. That wasn’t inherently bad, I understood politics were involved in everything and we needed to play the game right but there were just too many bad calls across the board. All the legal red tape we ran into while trying to do our jobs and save people basically helped to kill those same people. It all felt so wrong to me and I didn’t know what to do- there was nothing I could do because that was the legal course of action whether I liked it or not. I found myself siding with O’Brian more and more- fuck the legality of what he did, he did the right thing and justice was served. 

Now this. The smaller betraying jabs I was feeling from the BSAA were pestering but I would have been able to focus on the good we did enough that the bad didn’t matter as much. But since I’ve been here… those general jabs have turned into personal assaults. I was lied to, manipulated, trapped against my will- all of that was already bad enough but now it was worse. Now they went behind my back to betray my direct advice not to hack Wesker’s phone. They made everything that I risked, sacrificed, and endured here basically for nothing and they were going to be to blame when Wesker escaped. It made sense that Wesker would want to get out of here and he likely had this escape plan in place well before we grew closer in a positive way. But the people here at the BSAA were responsible for allowing him to follow through with his plan. Between all of the personal wrongs done against me even just this past month, it couldn’t be pinned on a single person, it was multiple higher ups throughout the organization across multiple departments and no one stepped up for me. Jill tried where she could but she was still undergoing her own issues and such as well. It was all too much… but I didn’t know what to do about any of it. 

… … … 

I wasn’t sure how long I was frozen just sitting on my bed as I sulked but eventually I went to take a shower. I tried to put it all out of mind so I could get back to enjoying my very few remaining days with Wesker but… but that just reminded me that they were actually coming to an end. I couldn’t believe how much things had changed in such a short amount of time- I had been so worked up and regretful about having to come in here and now I was so worked up and regretful about having to leave. As much as I wanted out of here because I was seriously getting stir crazy, I didn’t want to leave Wesker and lose everything we’d built here. I couldn’t stop thinking about what things might be like between me and Wesker after this- there’s no way we could go back to how things were before but we definitely couldn’t remain like we are now. Things would change again and I didn’t know how things would work- I wasn’t even sure how I might feel. Sure I would be sad, I would be angry, I would love him, I would hate him, I would want to reunite and kiss him, I would want to capture and kill him- why was everything so damn complicated with him? Why couldn’t he just choose me and stay? Then we could still be together. 

I didn’t respond to the knock on my door. I barely heard it since I was in my bathroom with the shower still running but obviously it was Wesker, probably checking on me since I’d been gone for so long. I wasn’t sure how long I was just sitting in the shower for but the water had gotten colder quite some time ago so probably a long time. Next there was a knock on my bathroom door which meant Wesker let himself in, probably knowing something was up and wasn’t going to let me get away with isolating myself. 

“Come in.” I called over the noise of the running water. I didn’t realize how much I wanted Wesker with me right now until I saw him open the door and step in, closing the door behind himself. He looked down at me sitting in the small shower box and sighed, instantly knowing all about what kind of mood I was in. He opened the door to the shower and stuck his hand under the spray, his eyes darkening as he shook his head at the cold temperature and turned the water off. Before he could say anything, I reached up to grab his hand and just stared into his eyes with a pleading expression. I wasn’t sure what exactly I wanted from him right now- I just needed him to be here with me. He sighed again before grabbing the back of his shirt to pull over his head, dropping it on the ground as he knelt closer to me. I moved to wrap my arms around him and he returned my embrace regardless of my chilled wet skin. He stayed as long as I needed him to and just let me hold him as a firm reminder that he was still there. I was getting so lost in what would happen when he was gone that I was acting as if he had already left. For the time being he was still here with me. 

“I take it Jill wasn’t just complaining about a bad day.” the blond stated when I finally released him though he didn’t go far, sitting on the floor just outside from where I was since I didn’t make a move to get out. 

“They fried your phone.” I told him bluntly, not caring if they didn’t want me to tell him yet or not… I just didn’t care anymore. Wesker was silent and from my peripheral vision I could see his eyes darken again, shifting from a red-orange to a solid red. But he didn’t say anything, he simply turned his head upward as he thought. 

“At least that explains your mood.” Wesker declared as he rubbed his hands together. I said nothing. The other man stood to grab my towel and hold it open for me just outside the shower. “Come on Chris, let’s get you dried and warmed up.” my eyes trailed up to him but I didn’t move. 

“Of course you wouldn’t care.” I muttered as I crossed my arms over my knees and laid my head on top of them. 

“Not particularly, no.” he stated, still waiting on me to get out and even making an impatient gesture for me to come on already when I still didn’t move. “What do you want me to say Chris?” his arms dropped since I clearly wasn’t ready to get out. “That it’ll all be alright and whatever you’re overthinking won’t become a reality? Do you want me to get emotional and over speculative due to an eventuality I’ve already predicted?” I didn’t respond to his mocking. “Right now I’m not concerned with whatever the BSAA has done with my phone. I understand what must be going through your mind with this new information and that is what I’m concerned with. Perhaps later if there’s anything you would like to calmly discuss about the matter we may be able to do that. But right now I’m only interested in getting your immediate needs taken care of.” he lifted the towel again. “And that means getting you out of this cold shower.” I met his expectant gaze for a little longer than needed before I sighed and finally stood up. Wesker wrapped the towel around me as soon as I stepped out of the shower box and used his hands to rub the absorbent fabric over my skin. While the towel was over my head so the blond could dry my hair, I was a little surprised when he leaned in to kiss me through the window between the edges of the towel. “Don’t overthink it Chris, take it one day at a time.” 

“One day at a time… how many more days do we have?” he sighed at my question and got back to drying my hair. 

“I’m going to deduce that you mean that generally rather than literally since you’re the one that can more easily track the passing days down here.” he said without malice. It was a fair point, even with my phone to tell me what day it was it could still be difficult to recognize the passage of time without any windows. I had no doubt that Wesker was keeping track of the days as well as he could just from the time and knew our time together was running short but he was right, I did mean more in general rather than just this month. “I don’t know, I’m not omniscient, I have no idea what the future holds for us after you leave.” for some reason what he said threw me off guard and I actually balked at him. 

“After I leave?” I repeated in stunned disbelief- the whole point of this was my fear that he was going to be the one leaving. 

“Yes Chris.” he stated with a little irritation in his tone, leaving the towel on my head as he let it go and backed up to give me some personal space. “ You will be the one walking out of here in a few days, I won’t. Aside from that I remain as in the dark as you about what fate has in store for us.” I pulled the towel away from my head and wrapped it around my waist. 

“That’s not what I… I wouldn’t…” Wesker rolled his eyes at my muttering and left the bathroom. I followed him into my room and tried to gather my thoughts as he went to my dresser to get me some clean clothes. Yes, I would be the one to physically leave here but that was only a technicality- I wasn’t leaving him . I told him I’d be back to visit as much as I could… he seemed upset so was that not enough for him? But if he escaped he would be leaving me because there wouldn’t be any coming back from that and that was what I was afraid of. Wesker was silent when he passed me some clothes that I quickly got on. I sat on my bed and rubbed my head again as I still tried and failed to sort my feelings. After a moment there was a pressure on the other side of my bed that told me my lover had sat down behind me. I leaned back until my body was resting against his, my head tilting to rest on his shoulder. It took him a minute to settle into sitting back to back like this but he did relax again. 

He had a pretty good idea of what was running through my head with this new revelation but I had no idea what was running through his. He wasn’t happy about it, that much was obvious- based on how dark his eyes got, I’d say he really wasn’t happy about it. I was still one hundred percent sure he already had a ready escape plan at the location with his backup but maybe there was now a part of him that wished he wouldn’t get to use it. Getting out of here on his own would be infinitely more challenging for him- if it was even possible at all, so us having to take him out would be his chance. He said it didn’t concern him but of course it did because now he had to decide if he was going to put his plan into action or not. I could directly point that out and ask what he was thinking but I doubt I’d get a straight answer- if I got an answer at all… but I wanted one. 

“Would you ever stay with me?” I whispered my question and felt the other man tense slightly but he said nothing so I guessed I was right that I wouldn’t be getting the answer I wanted or any. I didn’t think I’d like any kind of sweet lie or evasive comfort but maybe it’d be better than this silence. 

“Would you ever leave with me?” his return question was spoken in the softest and most unsure mutter I’d ever heard from my former captain and that alone would be enough to shock me but even more so than his tone were the actual words. Leave with him? What did that even mean? I was so surprised I actually sat up to turn around and look at him but he remained facing the wall in front of him. “You think me selfish yet you expect me to change my ways to suit your version of ‘good’ and ‘right’ while you haven’t even considered changing for me.” he was slightly slouched forward and his clasped fingers rubbed redness into the skin between his digits. “You make such demands as if your way is the only possible way for us to be together. You’re so rooted in your own morals and way of life that the mere thought there are other ways hasn’t even crossed your mind.” he finally turned just enough to see me and the view of his faintly glowing deep red eyes was heartbreaking. I’d seen them like this before but his expression was always filled with hatred… now there was such a deep depression and longing on his face it was painful just to witness. “Is that not selfishness at its finest?” I didn’t know how to reply to that so I didn’t. I wasn’t sure what kind of expression I made but he nodded slightly and turned back to the wall. 

We sat in silence for a long time, both unsure what to do or say next but both unwilling to leave the other’s side. I wondered if his question was purely a thought as mine had been, if we’d both been thinking of our own ways to be together and just now confronting the conflicts in our methods and desires. Why were we always on opposite sides… was it ever possible for us to be together at all? I also had to wonder if his question was some kind of admittance that he was in fact going to leave… but that would mean it doubled as an invitation to leave with him. He was right, I’d never thought of anything like that. I thought in order for us to be together he would have to remain imprisoned here and I could come visit him. It wasn’t optimal even for me but it was the only way, right? Apparently I was wrong. I could leave with him… leave my job, my friends, my family, my life. I could give up everything to be with him. But no, that wasn’t right. 

“You’re the one that’s done so much wrong. Betrayal, murder, the list of your crimes goes on and on Wesker.” I pointed out quietly. “You surrendering and being here is a huge part of why I was able to work on forgiving you but there’s still a long way to go. Doesn’t it make you the selfish one for expecting me to give up my life to go on the run with you when I haven’t done anything to deserve that?” he only answered me with a heavy sigh and a bit later he leaned back against me to mimic how I rested against him earlier. 

“Can’t we both be selfish?” he asked and I managed a short chuckle. 

“I guess.” I answered. “Too bad our selfish desires for each other are so conflicting.” he nodded to show he agreed with me but said nothing more about it. Still on opposite sides and even farther from a possible middle ground… why were things with him always so complicated? It was only then that I realized it was odd that I actually gave the idea of running away with Wesker genuine thought rather than shooting it down as soon as it was spoken like I should have. It was even more odd that I never thought about warning anyone of this conversation and that I still had no intentions of doing so. 

~~~ 

Surrender  

When I removed Jill from the facility, I told everyone I would be gone for some time running field tests with her while she was under the influence of the P30 drug. It was believed my aim was to perfect the drug with her as the perfect test subject since she was so resistant to it. If I could get it to work effectively on her, it would work effectively on nearly anyone. Science could take time and I wasn’t usually easy to reach for most people so as long as there wasn’t any major development I wouldn’t have ignored, I wouldn’t be suspected as missing for some time. I left Jill at the hospital nearest to Chris’ home and went to take care of the last remaining loose ends to my plan while I waited for the fuss of the woman’s discovery to die down. 

As I strolled into the hospital later, I knew Chris would be the only one with her since he would insist she wasn’t crowded and there would be no possible way he would ever leave her side after thinking her dead. No one bothered me, I had an authoritative presence and it wasn’t like they had her in a secured area, people visiting loved ones in the ER was common. I thought there might have at least been a BSAA guard at her door but there wasn’t, perhaps Chris thought he was enough if I decided to drop in. Fortunately for him, I wasn’t currently looking for a fight. I heard his voice as my hand was silently opening the door and a familiar excitement ran through me though I had to suppress it and remind myself I wasn’t here to fight him. 

“Just what happened to you Jill?” his expression was delightfully tragic, his hand clasping that of his best friend who seemed not to have woken up yet. She likely would very soon, she’d been off her meds and any sedative for long enough. As much as I wanted to bask in the pathetic display of my enemy, I spoke up to make my presence known. Of course the first thing he did was stick a gun in my face but, as always, it didn’t concern me. I don’t know why he still bothered with it anymore when he knew I could dodge his bullets. Surely whatever comfort the weapon provided when he felt threatened wasn’t enough to override his rationality. 

Taunting him was as entertaining as ever and it only made me look forward to what I had planned even more. The look on his face when I told him I had reintroduced the T-virus into Jill was outstanding, if he was a man of weaker constitution I would say he would be genuinely sick. But then… the expression he showed me as he thanked me for what I had done… it was unlike any I’d seen- at least in a very long time. STARS had been a lifetime ago, quite literally in my case, while I had never forgotten my time as the team’s captain, many of the nuances were discarded as unimportant. The sight of Chris’ teary eyed gratitude was among those that lost their meaning. My head swam and I felt lost in a wave of wondering what other memories I’d neglected. I’d given up his smile for his pain, his laughter for his rage. I enjoyed the way he hated me but… had it always been that way? Surely there must have been a time I took some pleasure in seeing something more joyous from him, otherwise my chest wouldn’t ache as it did now. The feelings of conflict inside me only helped to remind me why I was doing this- I needed to figure out what was happening in me whenever I thought of Chris now. Ever since I realized I didn’t want to kill him, my mind had been so tangled with questions and I needed to sort it all out. Who better to aid me in that than the man himself? 

“I’m turning myself in.” I told him with the same confidence I said everything with because I wasn’t about to show him any sign of the weakness I felt at that moment. I did get some amusement over his new dumbfounded expression and reasonable suspicion. I handed over my gun- which wasn’t my Samurai Edge, I’d spent too much time and effort keeping that gun in top condition to simply hand it over to the BSAA. No, that was kept elsewhere for safekeeping while I was to be locked up. However I understood it would be important for Chris to see me disarm myself. He still checked me for more weapons and he knew I could kill him without any but it was symbolic in a way. I had no problem allowing him to handcuff me to the chair because we both knew it wouldn’t stop me from moving if I wanted to but just like the gun he kept trained on me, I knew it brought him some peace of mind. I wasn’t going to challenge that, not yet at least. 

“Don’t worry Chris, you can stay with Jill, we’ve got this covered.” some unimportant agent spoke reassuringly to the brunet. Of course that wasn’t a real option and though I wanted to silence the pest that made it one, I only made a display of my discontent with it. Chris wisely chose to leave someone else at the hospital so he could escort me himself. It felt like a victory- not only because the menace in my life obeyed my whim but because only I could pull him willingly from Jill’s side in her time of need. In this case he had a responsibility to both of us, to be there for his best friend and to take me in, and I was more important. 

Another agent tried to grab onto my cuffed wrists to guide me into the armored truck they brought along for transport but he stopped reaching for me the moment he noticed the threatening red gleam from behind my sunglasses. Chris sighed and gripped my arm to pull me in with him as he climbed up to the seats. I allowed this and sat where placed, watching as he alone locked more restraints over my limbs. He looked at me with an irritable wariness that only drew a smirk from me. He was waiting for me to make some kind of move, so sure this was a false surrender and I would reveal some grand scheme to justify the ploy. Under any other circumstance he would be correct and I would be biding my time for the perfect moment to strike. But not this time. This time the goal was to be nearer to Chris and I was already getting that. My mind was already clearer with him so close yet it was simultaneously more chaotic as well. I couldn’t organize my thoughts as well as usual and he was everywhere like wallpaper on every surface of my mind but at least there was direction to it all. 

When he left me in the cell and walked away to go back to Jill without even saying goodbye, I felt angry with him as I had not all day. It was only then I realized how odd that was. Usually sadistic glee and anger went hand in hand when I was around him but this time it had been the former and something else… something I wasn’t sure I was familiar with… something I wasn’t sure I liked. I wasn’t sure how long it would take for the organization to meet my demands so Chris and I could begin our month together but I hoped it wouldn’t be long. I wasn’t sure when he would properly join the negotiations but I found I hoped it was soon… I already wanted to see him again. 

Chapter Text

I rested my head against Wesker’s shoulder as he rubbed my back through our embrace. I was supposed to be locking him into his room while I attended the meeting about the recovery mission but I didn’t want to part from my lover. As much as I wanted to get back to work… I didn’t want it to be for this. I didn’t want to face the reality that we were basically out of time- I wanted to spend every moment with Wesker before I would be pried away from him. 

“If you stay any longer you’ll be late.” the blond man reminded me which made me exhale heavily in exasperation. 

“Who cares?” I muttered with an upset tone. “Not like they’ve done anything but backstab me, why should I rush to meet their schedule?” I knew I was just throwing a fit right now but there was truth to my anger. 

“Because you’re a professional with better standards than that.” he wasn’t chiding me, if anything he seemed to be amused with my petulance. I groaned but didn’t object to that since I knew it was also true. Besides I really did want and need to be in the loop for this mission so it wouldn’t do for me to miss it because of my own pettiness. 

“Fine.” I grumbled as I only slightly pulled away from the older man. He leaned down to kiss me which wasn’t helping me actually separate from him. I continued my grumbling now directed at him though he only chuckled at me in return. 

“Go.” he ordered even as he caressed my cheek and leaned to whisper in my ear. “The quicker you get it over with, the quicker you can join me for some fun.” the combination of his dirty talking and the sensation of his breath on my skin was enough to send shivers of electric heat through my bones. 

“You’re such an asshole.” I groaned as I gripped the collar of his shirt and pulled him in for yet another kiss, this one deeper and more needy. He allowed it, his hand moving from my cheek to the back of my head to keep me closer to him. It was nice to know he was just as unwilling to be apart as I was. Even if he was trying to be the voice of reason, his actions told me just how much he wanted to keep me away from the BSAA. I wasn’t fighting him on that but I did really need to go. “Make me feel better when I get back.” I told him as I finally let him go. 

“All night.” he promised, giving me just one more kiss before he made himself take a full step backward to get some actual space between us. 

“Fucking tease.” I growled at his smirking face before slowly shutting his door between us and locking it. It worked though, I was eager to start and be done with this meeting so I could get back to him. I hurried into my room, shutting the door and checking over myself one more time to make sure that I was presentable- mostly just checking no love marks from Wesker were visible. I was only a few minutes late by the time I got through everything and joined the meeting from my laptop, making sure the lighting was okay and my camera was on. The screen changed to display one of the BSAA’s conference rooms. Everyone else was physically present and sitting around the large table except for me for obvious reasons. 

“Welcome Chris, are you well?” one of the higher ups actually bothered to ask. While it was the least any of them could do, I thought the pleasantries were only a waste of time right now so I just gave a firm nod so we could get right to business. 

“One would think with nothing better to do during your imprisonment, you could at least be on time.” another man commented and I noticed Jill tense up but she had to hold her tongue since she was out ranked here. So was I but… you know what, I just couldn’t really find it in me to care so I spoke my mind. 

“Funny you put it like that since I was told I wasn’t going to be held here against my will. My bad, that was already proven wrong when I said I wanted out yet here I remain.” I didn’t even hold back the disdain that rang in my tone. The room was silent and most seemed shocked by my direct accusation, even Jill looked at me with disbelief in her eyes. 

“Agent Redfield, you have to understand the sensitive nature of-” 

“Was anything recovered from Wesker’s phone or was all of the data lost?” I interrupted the excuse because I really wasn’t interested in hearing any of their deceit. It was confirmed that the techs weren’t able to pull anything from the phone because when they tripped it, it didn’t just fry the circuits, the damn thing basically melted- case and all. I sighed and rubbed my head as the conversation continued. Jill was right, they wanted me to lead the team for the recovery mission and though it was posed as something of a well deserved promotion that’s not what it felt like. It felt like a bribe to cover up what they did to me. I was sent several files of agents they thought would be good for the mission, they wanted me to pick who I wanted on the team and then we would go over the equipment we would have at our disposal. 

I was trying to pay attention- I really was because this was important but I couldn’t help checking out of the planning. None of this sat well with me- I knew I deserved my own team and I used to think I was ready for that but… I didn’t want it anymore. I didn’t like that the thing to finally get me promoted to captain was basically hush money so I wouldn’t cause a scene over their wrongdoings when I did finally get out of here. I didn’t like knowing that if this mission went wrong they could use it against me in some way or other- either claiming I wasn’t ready in some way or claiming that Wesker had gotten to me. I didn’t like that I could only think about the bad this could mean for me with the BSAA rather than the good I could do with more authority. I didn’t like that part of the reason I didn’t want to accept any kind of promotion was because I wanted to leave the organization. But there it was, no more just thinking about it. Another option was presented to me to become even more responsible in the BSAA and I didn’t want it. How could it be any clearer where my feelings about the organization were? My heart wasn’t in it anymore so why was I? 

“We won’t be sure what kind of terrain we’ll be dealing with until Wesker gives us the location-” 

“I don’t want it.” I finally spoke up after a long silence, folding my arms as I leaned back in my chair. “I won’t lead this team.” I could feel the way confusion shook the room even through the camera. Before anyone could recover from that and ask what this was about, I continued. “I won’t accept being captain of a team as some kind of bribe for my continued cooperation. There’s been some serious loss of trust that needs to be earned back some other way.” 

“You’re right Redfield, there has been some loss of trust.” the new director spoke up and I knew this wasn’t going to be good. “We’ve all been out here trying everything we can to do what’s best for everyone while you’ve been sleeping with the enemy!” he shot back at me with a pointed finger. “This position isn’t a bribe- we’re giving you the opportunity to prove your loyalty hasn’t strayed.” I gritted my teeth as forced habits of not talking back to superiors had me trying to refrain from speaking- but fuck that! I felt the old me raise up, the me that would argue with my commanding officers back in the Air Force- the me that spoke against the scary as fuck Captain Wesker. At least he listened to and supported me even back then. 

“What’s best for everyone? You didn’t hack Wesker’s phone because it was what was best for anyone - you hacked it because you got impatient and now we all have to risk him escaping.” I corrected him. “And my sex life has nothing to do with my morals, I know he’s still a criminal but that doesn’t make him my only enemy.” I declared, looking right at the director and I really hoped my camera display aligned to make my implication clear. “At least he had my back when he gave up Irving- no one in the BSAA has lifted a damn finger for me when I actually needed it.” glares were leveled in my direction and I knew I was burning bridges here yet it felt good. “No offense Jill.” I added as an afterthought but she only partially shrugged. I didn’t blame her for not speaking up with me, she was still working her way through requalifications and didn’t want to delay any of that process so she could join this mission. I knew what I was doing and I didn’t want to potentially take her down with me. 

“Perhaps it would be better if you weren’t on this mission at all. It seems you need some time off after your isolation.” 

“If you want to suspend me, just say so instead of acting like you’re doing me some kind of favor for my well being. If you do cut me off the case, good luck getting Wesker to agree to do anything if I’m not there.” I leaned forward and readied my finger over the disconnect button. “Get someone else to lead your team and I’ll focus on keeping Wesker in check. Send me an email with the details once you have them because I’m off to go do ‘nothing better’.” I pressed the button and my view of the conference was cut off. I was left staring at my own image from my camera until I turned it off. I held my head in my hands and worried in the back of my mind about what I just did. It felt good to say all that but there would be consequences. I knew they were right about me being wound up from being down here so long. Having some time off would probably do me a lot of good… it was at least something I could use later as an excuse for my behavior. 

I got up and left my room, walking straight to Wesker’s without any more delay. I unlocked his door and stepped into his room to find him sitting on his bed with a book in hand. Without saying anything, I dropped myself onto his bed and laid my head on his lap. He seemed a little surprised to see me so soon, I was only in attendance at the meeting for maybe half an hour before I had my outburst and left. I really hoped nothing too serious would come of that but what was done was done. 

“Do you want to talk about-” 

“No.” I cut him off as I rotated onto my side so I could press my face into his stomach as if his body was a shield against the rest of the world. Wesker being Wesker, didn’t pry for anything more and simply went back to his book though now he read the words aloud to help distract me from what was going on in my mind. I loved this man more and more every day. 

… … … 

Chris: Can we stop talking about it already??
Chris: I know what I did I don’t need you jumping on my ass over it 

I shot Jill a new text after a while of letting her go off about it. She couldn’t believe what I’d done and felt the need to retell all of it as if I wasn’t there and didn’t know. Apparently the higher ups were in fact planning on putting me on mandatory leave once this was all over and I had to see the shrink before being allowed to return to work. Jill acted like it was a merciful punishment to how I acted and she asked what got into me. She understood the treatment I was facing and even apologized for her part in it but cautioned me against risking my standing within the organization for some small gratification of calling the new director out on it. I stopped reading her messages after that for a while as I instead read the information I was sent. Even if I was going to be put on leave after this, they must at least understand I was right about Wesker demanding that I be a part of the recovery mission. Because I did in fact get an email with the highlights of the plan. 

Jill: Yeah yeah fine
Jill: I’m just worried about you is everything okay?? 

I could understand her worry from where she stood, if she suddenly started to lash out at our superiors I would be very concerned too. But from where I was, I was okay and honestly I hadn’t done enough. The only thing was… I couldn’t tell her I didn’t care about my standing with the BSAA anymore because I was really thinking of leaving. For now I was trying not to think too much about it, I would do that during my “not” suspension and make my final decision after I had time to myself to think without any other influences. Until then I was trying to focus on my remaining time with Wesker and the upcoming mission. 

Chris: Has the rest of the team been figured out yet this list seems incomplete
Jill: We’re still waiting on a few confirmations 

I rolled my eyes, thinking about how they got to actually confirm they wanted any part of the mission before they were added to the roster. How nice that must be not to have your cooperation volunteered before you agree to something. 

Chris: The restraints listed aren’t good enough
Chris: We need something bulkier so that even if he’s able to break them it’ll take some doing to untangle himself
Chris: We need to weigh him down as much as possible
Jill: Why don’t we just seal everything but his head in a steel box and fill it with cement
Chris: You joke but I’m willing to go to those lengths
Jill: Come on Chris you know that would never be approved 

I chose not to reply to Jill again as I continued to look over all the information given even though I’d been over it a few times already. I wanted to make sure everything was as ready as we could get. I had enough with the “what if” bullshit as if he were already gone- I wouldn’t let him escape. I wouldn’t let him get away from me that easily. Still… I felt nervous. 

“Remind me why I make all your meals.” Wesker requested as he stepped into his room carrying a plate of food which he set down on the dresser next to the bed where I lay on my stomach. I turned off my phone so he couldn’t see any information about the mission, laying it down next to the pillow. Before I could move in any way, Wesker got onto the bed to lay on top of my back, snaking his arms under my chest to hold me since I remained propped up on my elbows. His bed was too small for both of us but neither of us minded piling up like this, we enjoyed the closeness. I hummed my approval as he kissed my shoulder then my cheek then my lips as I turned my head to him. 

“Because I would starve without your cooking.” I told him and he nodded as if remembering. 

“Ah, that’s right.” he rested his chin on my shoulder. “You’re starting to make me regret saying that.” I laughed and moved one of my arms to touch his. 

“You’re the better chef between us anyway, I prefer your delicious cooking.” I praised him with a little dramatic flare in my tone. It was the truth but I was also kissing his ass so he’d keep doing it. 

“I know you’re manipulating me but I’ll allow it for now.” 

“Such a kind and generous god you are.” I teased and he tilted his face down into my shoulder to muffle his disapproving groan in the fabric of my shirt. I laughed at him and slowly started to turn around to give him time to let me go and get enough of his weight off of me to allow my movement. Once settled onto my back under Wesker with his elbows at either of my sides to keep him up, I wrapped my arms around the blond’s waist and let my fingers slide under his shirt. 

“You can’t tell me you’re not in the mood for sex yet tease me so.” he growled down at me but I only continued to smile. He tried to initiate sex earlier but I was still too upset about what happened with the BSAA meeting to get into it. I wasn’t sure if I was in the mood now but I wasn’t not in the mood. 

“Why does that get you so hot and bothered anyway?” I asked through a chuckle though it died in my throat when his eyes narrowed to give way to a different kind of expression. His glare was between predatory danger and needy lust… and I loved every bit of the excitement it put in me. Okay, maybe I was in the mood now. 

“How better to display my power over you as your god than by making you scream out my name as you beg for more of me?” his voice was but a whisper on my lips which I greedily claimed and he encouraged it by lowering himself so I could reach him easier. 

“Okay that is pretty hot.” I told him before my mouth had even left his and now it was his turn to chuckle. 

“Hot enough to get you in the mood?” he supported himself on one arm to free his other hand so his fingers could stray to my face, his thumb tracing the shape of my lips. 

“Keep talking and find out.” then we were kissing again, tongues exploring familiar territory but never tiring of the feel of one another. Wesker slightly lifted his body to untrap my legs and I took the hint to move them out of the way, spreading them wide enough for him to settle in the desired space between. When the other man pulled away from my mouth, my tongue chased him but he turned his lips to my neck instead and I supported his attention shift. His teeth raked pleasurable heat into my skin and I didn’t want him to stop. But as I opened my eyes they happened to land on one of the many cameras in the room and I growled, very much unhappy with the harsh reminder that we were never actually alone. “My room.” I demanded though the other man ignored me, his hand now pulling up my shirt so his lips could reach the skin of my chest. “Wesker-” he cut me off by covering my mouth with his hand. I might have been okay with this playful move if we weren’t being watched right now or if I was okay with only some more foreplay right now but I wasn’t. I wanted more and I wanted it right now but that meant we needed to go to my room where we could turn the camera off and he was delaying that. 

So I quickly jerked my head upward so his hand would fall away just enough for me to bite into his hand. This didn’t dissuade his mouth from teasing my nipple, instead he actually pressed his hand farther into my mouth until my jaw ached. So I bit him harder. He might think of me as some kind of pet but I would still bite back. Suddenly he yanked his hand out of my grip and instead wrapped his fingers around my throat. He sat up, his knees sliding under my legs to lift them to his sides as he glared down at me for my bad behavior. His eyes were still orange so he wasn’t actually mad at me though he might be irritated but the way they glowed instead told of heated excitement. His grip on my neck wasn’t too tight to breathe and it wasn’t enough to make me lightheaded but it was enough to distract from the slight taste of copper in my mouth. He was already hard and aside from both of our pants still being in the way, he was already in the perfect position to take me and I wanted him so badly. But we were on camera damn it! 

In one sudden motion, I locked my legs around Wesker and threw myself upward. I didn’t stop once I was on the same level as him and instead knocked him onto his back, luckily there was just enough mattress to prevent us from going over the foot of the bed. Instead of staying down to use my body to keep him pinned, I sat up and rocked my ass over his clothed erection. This kept him from moving in any way to oppose my position, he liked me where I was. I noticed his eyes flick momentarily to my lips and it wasn’t until then that I remembered there was some of his blood still there. With a sadistic idea, I grinned devilishly down at him as I slowly ran my tongue across my own lips to clean up his blood that still clung to my skin and I was surprised the taste didn’t trigger me in a negative way. Judging by the way Wesker froze and tensed with a wide eyed expression, he was more surprised than I was. Time to take advantage of this. 

“My room.” I repeated, slower and more sultry. “Don’t touch me until we’re there. This time you’ll be the good boy and listen or you’ll be the one punished.” I commanded him with glee which seemed to bring him back to himself. His eyes flared an excited red as he smirked widely at my challenge. If danger had a color, his eyes would be that shade. But it was a danger I reveled in. As soon as he started to sit up a little, I pinned him back down with my forearm across his chest. “Do you want me to punish you?” I asked in a perfect replication of the way he asked me that same question many days ago. I knew I was poking the bear by challenging him like this but some kind of switch was flipped in me right now and I loved being the one in charge over him rather than the other way around for once. 

He stared at me for a little longer, his eyes still gleaming at me before he smirked and removed his hands from my body. He raised his arms above his head so they hung off the bed and even though he still looked smug about what he was doing, he was showing me he was giving in without argument. I watched him for a second in suspicion before getting off of him but he didn’t prevent me even as he followed my lead and stood up. I wasn’t sure what he was doing but my gut told me not to take my eyes off of the stalking predator focused on me. He seemed more dangerous right now than ever before and the satisfied smirk on his lips was similar to the one I’d always hated but more seductive and laced with something like pride. It stirred the deep desire in me more but at the same time it made me cautious. I had no idea what was going to happen next but whatever control of the situation I thought I had was certainly teetering. 

When I moved out of his room he matched my pace step for step as I walked backward to my room. It wasn’t until I was trying to feel around for the handle of my door that I took my eyes away from him only for a second to find it but that was all he needed to suddenly be on me. His forearms thudded on the surface of my bedroom door on either side of my head and his chest was close enough to mine that I could nearly feel the movement of his lungs as he breathed. I sucked in a sharp breath at his sudden closeness and was filled with his essence, his lips just shy of grazing mine but he didn’t kiss me. I remained frozen where he had me trapped and waited for his next move but he merely hovered as we breathed each other’s air. Of course I noticed he wasn’t actually touching me… so he was trying to make me regret that order by driving me crazy until I needed him to touch me. 

“Is there something you want from me Chris?” even without touching, I felt the movement of the other man’s lips as they formed the question. Something I wanted? In being in control of him this time? I supposed there was. I started to tilt my head as if giving in to him and reconnecting our lips but instead I turned the door handle in my grip and took a few quick steps back. Though Wesker was taken off guard, he caught himself and didn’t fall- barely even stumbled forward a step but it was still enough to make me smirk victoriously at him. 

“Yeah, I guess there is.” I told him tauntingly as I closed the door behind him. He watched me expectantly as I walked in front of him so my fingers could tug the bottom of his shirt up. Wesker lifted his arms so I could pull his shirt over his head and discard it to the floor. “You won’t touch me unless I tell you to.” I restated the command, honestly a little surprised he hadn’t already jumped me as soon as my door was closed since the other order was not to touch me until we were in my room and now we were. He must be really curious about what I wanted out of this. 

“And if I do? What will you do to punish me?” it was meant to be challenging like he was threatening to take over as he’d been pushing but I heard the wonder in his voice. I admit he threw me off a little by making me feel hunted but I was determined to tame the beast that he was. In many ways I already had but I wanted more, I wanted this and I’d waited so long for it. 

“It’s more about what I won’t do.” though I hadn’t actually thought of what his punishment might be, I had an idea. But he didn’t need to know that. My fingers touched his shoulder and trailed across his chest as I slowly began to walk around him as I admired his toned body. 

“And what’s that?” he asked as I continued my slow circle, my fingers drifting over his back now. I didn’t answer him as I came around his front again, glancing down at his obvious erection before looking back into his eyes with a knowing and meaningful look. The blond’s grin widened as if he understood what was about to happen now and was more than happy to let this play out. We’ll see about that. “Are you going to tell me what you want now?” it was more of a formality to show he was still playing along but I still didn’t answer, only ceasing my circling when I was once again behind him. I placed both hands on his shoulders and pressed down until he got the hint and slowly lowered himself onto his knees. Now this… this felt good. I bent down to press a kiss to the side of his throat before shifting my lips up to his ear. 

“How’s your gag reflex?” I whispered to him and had to move my face a little away from him as he turned his head to look at me, confusion on his expression before a subtle understanding crossed his features. I chuckled darkly as I straightened and moved to stand in front of him again while he remained on his knees. He watched me still with that dangerous look but I could see the thoughts going through his head. He knew what I wanted now- he knew what I was doing now. I wanted him to suck my dick which I doubted he had any qualms with but doing it like this- with me in the position of power… it made me his god tonight. Wesker needed to figure out if that was something he could accept or not. I didn’t wait for him to make his decision, I hooked my thumbs into the waistband of my pants and eased them just low enough to expose myself. I wanted to touch myself but didn’t, instead letting my hard cock stand between us. The blond looked at my waiting erection then back up to my face. 

“Would you like to find out?” he teased with an accepting smile that had a sharp breath hissing through my teeth as I forced myself to remain in control of myself against the spark of need that hit me. Looking down at him like this as he sat up on his heels a bit to put his face closer to my eager dick… he watched me in anticipation and maybe even some excitement as he waited for my needed command. The sight of him like this put a needy heat in my chest that rapidly spread to the rest of my body like an out of control forest fire. “You still need to tell me to touch you.” he reminded me without any demand in his tone to allow me to retain control of when and how things happened. It was such a little thing but from him it was an incredibly sweet gesture that melted my sadistic resolve just enough not to make him wait until he called me his god. Maybe we could work up to that, for now him allowing all of this was enough. 

“No hands.” I told him so he readily put them behind his back as if he were handcuffed. “Suck.” with the single word out of my mouth, Wesker leaned forward to take me into his. Even though I’d been expecting it, I still exhaled in surprise at the sudden warmth enveloping me. I watched in mesmerized bewilderment as Wesker pushed himself further so he could take more of me into his mouth. Going straight for the deep throat to test his gag reflex… not fair. He nearly had all of me consumed before he winced and had to pull off of me completely. He seemed upset with himself for not being able to take my entire length in one go but he already had me panting with pleasure and longing for more. 

Before I could do or say anything, his lips were wrapped around my cock once more to try again. I moaned as I grabbed his head with both of my hands and encouraged him deeper. This was doing so much for me- I was so turned on it felt like I would melt. It was so much more than just the sensation of getting my dick sucked- it was the satisfaction of a long time fantasy finally getting fulfilled. Seeing Albert Fucking Wesker with my cock as deep into his throat as he could take it was literally a dream come true. He was too focused on the challenge of taking in my entire length rather than moving so I gripped his hair to pull him off most of the way which he glared up at me for but I ignored it. I pushed my hips forward until my cock was a decent way into his mouth before pulling mostly out again. He caught onto my want and soon was moving with me rather than fighting me to set his own pace. He shifted his head back and forth on me and I watched every bit of it through half lidded eyes, a deep blush on my face from getting to witness this amazing event. I just couldn’t get over the fact this was really happening. 

Wesker stared back at me, seeming to get as much enjoyment from my expression as I was getting from his. I couldn’t take this. I knew it was his first time doing this but I didn’t want to be nice and talk him through it even if he needed a little coaching. I wasn’t sure if I’d get this again for a while… or ever- but I didn’t want to think about that. I just wanted him- I needed him. My fingers tightened in his hair before I thrust forward deeper into his throat which made the blond grunt in discomfort but he didn’t bite down and he didn’t pull away. If I hurt him he’d bear with it, besides he’d heal super fast anyway. So I didn’t let up, invading more and more of Wesker’s throat with every push into him. His eyes squeezed shut and his hands actually shot to my hips as if to push me away but he didn’t. His nails dug a little into my skin but he didn’t stop the brutal assault I delivered. 

“ Fuuuck …” I breathed out in absolute ecstasy. Wesker didn’t look to be having that great of a time anymore but he was putting up with it for me and I loved him more for it because this was amazing. The tightness of his muscles contracting around my intruding shaft was pure bliss and I didn’t want to stop. He would learn to use his tongue more but for now I didn’t care- I was getting off more on the visual of this rather than the feeling. The raw sexual satisfaction of this finally being a reality for me was enough to get me closer to the edge but I fought back my climax. I wasn’t finished yet- I didn’t want it to end! “Feels so good.” my thrusting became more erratic, my hands pulling Wesker’s face closer at the same time I was forcing my hips forward. I had completely taken over and now my lover just had to withstand being along for the ride. “Wesker, just a… I’m almost…” everything was so hot and tight and amazing- I couldn’t stand it! I couldn’t stop staring at Wesker- at the way my dick slid in and out of his mouth. It wasn’t exactly like I imagined, usually in my fantasies he took charge of it like he did everything and that would be getting me just as riled up as I was now. But, I don’t know, maybe this was just a consequence of my power trip leading up to this. Next time I’d let him maintain control and do this his way. Though for now, the subtle sputtering from my long time desire and the way his fingers gripped at me through the uncomfortable way I was using him… it was really doing it for me. 

“Wes- god , oh fuck…” I fucked his mouth as hard and deep as I wanted, putting off any worry that I may be hurting him- he would heal. The sound I let out next was between a heated moan and a worried whimper through my panting when Wesker’s teeth grazed over my skin- not enough to hurt but enough to startle and delight. It was too much. With a sudden jerk into his used throat, I started cumming. Wesker let out a choked gag as his jaw threatened to tighten but I felt him resist the urge to clamp his teeth down onto my leaking dick even if it was what was suffocating him. I quickly pulled out so he could breathe, my semen continuing to shoot over his face even as he lowered his head to cough and gasp for air. I was still riding my climax when my legs gave out and I fell back, catching myself with my hands behind me as my muscles spasmed from the sheer pleasure my body and mind were still experiencing. My eyes were still trained on Wesker as he held himself up with one hand on the floor as his other massaged his throat. He was still trying to catch his breath but he soon opened his eyes to glare at me with a dull red glow. I loved seeing him like this, my cum leaking from his lips and smeared down the bridge of his nose and cheek. Even though my limbs were feeling somewhat weak, I forced myself up, shifting so I could push him back to the floor with my hand on his chest. There wasn’t any resistance as I climbed on top of him, leaning over to kiss him everywhere though I was careful not to disturb my fluids on him. Not because I didn’t want to taste it, I’d done that plenty of times before and didn’t mind it that much, but because I wasn’t done looking at the art that he was right now. Well, he was always a work of art but I had enhanced his image with my “paint”. 

“That was so amazing- you were amazing.” I praised him between trailing kisses though I forced myself to avoid his lips so he could right his breathing. 

“You won’t let me grab your head so I don’t kill you,” he started with a hoarse voice that made me chuckle a little with pride. I’d been trying to hurt him enough to leave a mark that would last more than a few minutes and now I’d finally done it- even if the mark wasn’t visual but auditory was great too. “but you’re allowed to do that to me?” he finished and I sighed as I lifted myself just slightly above him, now using my thumb to intentionally spread my semen further across his cheek. 

“That wouldn’t kill you and you’ll heal fast, I won’t.” I told him before deciding he’d breathed enough so I kissed him, my tongue trailing into his mouth where another penetrative part of me had just been- only to pull back with a hiss of pain when he bit down. He was still lightly glaring at me but I only laughed at the payback. “Fair enough.” I said before trying to kiss him again even if he just wanted to bite me again but he didn’t. He kissed me back, swirling his tongue into my mouth now as he sat up which forced me up with him so I was in his lap. The shared taste of my cum between our lips was better than I would normally find it, I think I was still hanging out on cloud nine. I knew that wasn’t very enjoyable for him- especially for his first time but he did it for my enjoyment. We would talk about it later and I would find a way to make up for it. 

“Are you still planning on punishing me?” he asked when we parted, his voice already sounding stronger than just a few moments ago. I tilted my head at him in confusion and he sighed in slight disappointment. “I used my hands.” it was extremely endearing- bordering on cute the way he informed me of that as if he’d done something wrong. I knew he was trying to let me have my way this time and I said no hands but he really didn’t have to feel bad for going against an in the moment command. I shook my head before placing a gentle kiss on his forehead as I wrapped my arms around his neck. 

“You did fantastic Wesker, there’s nothing to punish.” I promised. “I was a lot rougher than I thought I would be and you took it so well.” I sealed my lips over his again to cement the reassurance and this time he aggressively reclaimed his control. When he moved it was to slam me down onto my back which just about knocked the wind out of me. He remained between my legs as I had just been straddling his lap but now he was above me. As I recovered from the blow, the blond’s fingers were already tugging down my pants. 

“Now it’s your turn to take it.” he growled seductively at me and I felt renewed excitement wave through me. 

~~~ 

Nuisance 

Our relationship is purely business, at least it’s supposed to be. She’s the kind of woman that is very accustomed to getting everything she wants and she’s made it obvious she’s got her eyes trained on me. Whenever we’re in the same room she’s constantly staring at me with lust and even making barely concealed innuendos about her position at my side and the implication that will inevitably have. She speaks as though we’re meant to be together because we’re cut from the same cloth though truly she could not be farther from my higher standing. Both from a biological and a status perspective, I am her superior as I am superior to all others. She only chooses to pretend as though I’d ever have any sexual desire for her because she can not fathom being denied. She attempts to touch me at times as well, her fingers grazing over my body in seductive manners and her manicured nails threatening danger of harsh scratches to anything not of her liking. I allow these odd small gestures for now. I do not encourage it but I don’t put a stop to it either. I allow her to believe that she has any sort of chance with me though she doesn’t and never will. Until now she served a purpose in furthering my plans and the more cooperative I kept her, the more I was able to push her resources without unnecessary hassle on my end. 

It was due to my aid that she was promoted to CEO over the company branch she now oversees. She once stopped me from leaving a meeting with the other executives in the development team we put together. In no uncertain way she invited me back to her place, really it was more a statement of what was going to happen rather than an offer or request. She touched me then too, her hand trailing over my clothed chest down my stomach though she stopped there. It was one of those times I was glad my wardrobe covers much of my body, the less access she has to my skin the better. She’s so beneath me in every way, if I didn’t know better I would worry about her lesser DNA infecting me in some way. I admit she knows how to use her looks and wealth to her advantage, she hasn’t risen up the corporate ladder on nothing. But it would never work on me. I touched her as well, gripping her chin with my gloved hand as I told her I wouldn’t be joining her that night. Then I turned her face away from me and left her there. I’m sure she interpreted my actions as a way of playing hard to get flirtation though that was not the intention but it’s an acceptable outcome for now. 

I have plans for her. In the end she’ll get what she wants, to stand at my side. At least for the few seconds it’ll take me to inject her with my newest project. Then I’ll stand back and watch what will become of her, only then will I look at her with any sort of awe. As a human she’s highly flawed, conceited and ignorant of the true nature of things. But I can show her and the being she’ll become will be above her current state. Though now it seems I won’t get to do that. Truly a pity, I was looking forward to the day the project was ready and I would get to use her to test it but it seems fate had different plans for me. The project will never be completed as I’ll be turning it over to the BSAA along with everything else. At least the human that thinks herself on my level will still be knocked down a peg. Or maybe she’ll walk free, with her power and charm maybe she’ll find a way to weasel out of any trouble.

Chapter Text

“What the hell is this?” I asked, my voice hesitant as if Wesker had handed me something toxic by mistake and I was trying to peacefully correct his error. 

“Keep reading.” was all he told me, an annoyingly entertained smirk on his lips. I sighed but turned my eyes back to the paper in my hand to do as instructed. The two of us were just talking about what we might do for the day though we hadn’t yet gotten out of bed when he passed me last night’s letter. At first I was interested in who he could be talking about but then confusion took the reins when he started to imply a sexual nature in whatever this letter was about. Then jealousy crept in because there didn’t seem to be a point to this letter- it was just going into speculation about the explicit things this mystery woman wanted to do to my lover. 

“Seriously what the hell is this?” I demanded now, again lowering the page as I turned an accusing glare onto the blond in bed next to me but he only laughed at my reaction. “You’re naked in bed with me right now and you think this is the best time to give me something like that ?” I questioned as I dropped the letter onto his lap because I certainly didn’t want it. 

“That’s exactly right.” he nodded as he picked up the single sheet of paper. “I’m here in bed with you, not her- it’ll never be her Chris. Keep reading.” he held the letter out to me again but I didn’t take it. 

“I don’t want to.” I pouted as I rolled away from him and laid down fully again, pulling the blanket up to my neck to cover myself. I didn’t like feeling like this… I wasn’t feeling threatened per se but I couldn’t deny the anger and jealousy this brought up. I knew Wesker wouldn’t go for anyone else and even though I hadn’t finished the letter, it was obvious what he thought of her wasn’t anything good. But his wonderings of the sexual acts she wanted from him put very unpleasant images into my head and I really didn’t like the idea that was intentional. Though knowing him, it likely was. Maybe he was hoping to get a rise out of me so we’d have rougher sex or something. “There’s no reason for you to write that shit when none of it’s happened- and then to show it to me, what’s the point? That’s fucked Wesker.” 

“Are you really sulking over it?” he asked with a bit of genuine surprise. 

“Yes.” I snapped back but didn’t turn to him. “I’m sulking over how you’re purposely using my jealousy against me like an asshole. Why is it surprising that I don’t like you manipulating me? If you thought putting images of you fucking some bitch into my head would turn into some sexy fun, you’re an idiot.” I explained and even though I knew it was part of the reason Wesker gave me that letter, whoever that bitch was- I wanted her dealt with. At least I would get to enjoy burning the letter later. Wesker was quiet for a time before sighing as he moved closer to lean over me as much as I would allow him to. 

“I’m sorry.” he said and I kept him waiting for a minute before turning my eyes up toward him hovering above me. His eyes had darkened and I took that as a sign he realized he messed up and was sincere in his apology. “You’re right, I thought by doing this you would react by wanting to remind me that I was yours because that’s what I would have done. It was erroneous of me to make the assumption you would react similarly.” I didn’t answer him even though I could feel the anger ebbing away already. “What can I do to make it right?” 

“Call yourself an idiot.” I told him with a straight face while his contorted slightly into an expression of disbelieving irritation. 

“I’ve already apologized, isn’t it enough for-” 

“Wesker.” I cut off his argument before just staring at him as I waited. He rolled his eyes but didn’t meet my gaze again, looking anywhere but my face for a long while before finally sighing and looking directly at me. 

“I was an idiot.” he said it with the most annoyed and forced tone I’d ever heard but it brought a small smile to my lips. I was still a bit upset but at least he was willing to do that for me just to make me feel better. His effort made me feel loved. I turned onto my back and raised my arms to wrap around him. 

“I don’t need to prove that you’re mine Wesker because I trust that you would never stray.” I told him as I pulled him down onto me so I could hug him with more ease. I had to raise myself a bit as his arms wrapped under me, pressing into the mattress to get between it and my skin in order to return my embrace. 

“Never.” he promised with a reassuring squeeze. I smiled more to myself as we just lay there together for some time before I spoke again. 

“It’s a wonder you ever stooped off your high horse for me anyway, I doubt you’d do it again.” I teased before he kissed my forehead. 

“I didn’t have to stoop far, you’re above the rest.” 

“Oh am I?” I laughed at the absurdity of the conversation, acknowledging that he wasn’t human- only “above” in the obvious physical enhancements his virus provided him, was normal but now I was above human too? 

“To me, yes.” he answered genuinely before kissing my lips this time. I kissed him back but turned my head away when he tried to deepen it. 

“Nuh-uh, you ruined your chance for more by being an idiot.” I declared and Wesker groaned in objection as he dropped his head onto my shoulder. I only laughed as I patted his back in mock sympathy. 

… … … 

My eyes drifted away from the television again to look over my partner, eating up the sight of him as much as I could. After a second his eyes slid to meet mine with a sly smirk and I rolled my eyes before returning my attention to whatever show was playing. I hugged the blanket around my shoulders tighter to my body, trying not to think about the secret reason I had brought it out here. But I failed that task and it made it so my attention didn’t stay on the tv long before my gaze was once again on the blond man sitting next to me. He was still watching me with that knowing look but I didn’t turn away this time. 

“Maybe I will take a picture.” I told him as I pulled the blanket off to hang over the back of the couch in order to grab my phone out of my pocket. He laughed at my call back to the first time he’d caught me staring at him at the beginning of the month. I didn’t care, I wanted something to be able to look back on and the security footage wouldn’t be enough. 

“Shall I strip then?” he teased as I was opening my phone’s camera app. 

“Yes.” I answered seriously and that got him to raise his eyebrows in surprise but he’d schooled his expression again by the time I turned to him to snap a few quick pictures. “Why wouldn’t I want nude pictures of you?” I asked, looking over the pictures to pick the best one… but I kept all of them. “Or do you not want me using your pictures to pleasure myself?” I taunted back with a sly smirk. His eyes lightened in color as he scooted closer to me, his body now pressed against my side. 

“If I allow you to take all these photos you have planned, when will I get the favor returned? Your organization ruined my phone so what memento do I get?” 

“If you behave tomorrow,” I leaned in to give him a quick kiss. “I’ll print some pictures of me and bring them down for you when I visit.” 

“Is that a bribe I’m hearing?” he teased as he tilted his head down to kiss my neck. Things were headed in the direction I wanted to go already but there was something else I wanted to do this time… and it filled me with nervousness. Wesker must have felt the way I tensed up because he leaned back enough to look at me. “Chris?” I only responded by kissing him again, using my hand to push him back until he was mostly lying down so I could lay over him. “What are you doing?” he asked with a playful suspicion that I didn’t answer. I readjusted to straddle his lap, running my hands under his shirt as I pulled it up and watched the way his eyes lit up with eager anticipation. “Finally in the mood?” he questioned as he gripped my hips and started to sit up like he was going to pick me up with him. He’d been trying on and off again for sex since this morning but I’d been a bit resistant until now while I tried to gather my resolve for this. It made sense that he’d be trying to get us into my bedroom quicker rather than trying to start something anywhere else that way he could get inside of me faster. But that wasn’t the plan right now. 

“Wait, wait…” I stopped him from moving and he looked up at me curiously. I bit my lip as I looked down at him, nerves and my better sense pleading with me not to do this but my affection and lust for this man craved the depravity. After taking a breath I sent a quick text to Jill, telling her it was time before I turned off my phone and tossed it onto the coffee table. Then I pulled the blanket back around my body and adjusted it until it was covering most of my lower half though my groin would be slightly exposed unless I remained leaning forward over Wesker. Seeming to catch onto what I was doing, the BOW’s eyes widened as the color lightened nearly to a yellow and then they began to glow as well. He was so excited… there was no way I could say no now. 

“Seriously?” he asked with an amazed hopeful disbelief that I thought was incredibly cute but I was too embarrassed to be able to smile over it. My face was on fire and I already had regrets but the need coiled in my abdomen was intense. I barely managed the quick nod before Wesker was trying to push me up with him to turn us around but I fought to remain upright on top of him. 

“No, no!” I called hurriedly and the blond pouted, making an objecting sound similar to a whine. “I can’t let you go hard on me today, I have a mission tomorrow.” I told him which actually settled him down surprisingly fast as he realized I wasn’t actually stopping this but that I planned to be the one in control and set the pace. Before I could say anything more, he was already tugging my shirt up my torso to get it off of me. I raised my arms and leaned forward to let him steal my shirt, not caring where it went when he tossed it aside and slightly sat up to pull up the hem of his own shirt. I helped him out of the fabric though I let him discard it as I instead took a moment to admire his freshly exposed body as if it was the first time I had ever touched it. My fingertips trailed over his skin, following the natural curves of his muscles all the way down to the waistband of his pants. 

“Get yours off first.” he instructed before I could pull his pants down to reveal his growing erection. Maybe I was eager too because I didn’t hesitate to wrap the blanket around me completely as I stood up to tug my pants down, letting them fall the rest of the way to the floor so I could step out of them. I was careful climbing back on top of Wesker, making sure my now naked body wasn’t exposed to the cameras. The blond man under me trembled with longing as his hands snaked under the blanket to feel my bare skin, a low moan escaping him as he rotated his hips upward against mine. He was fully erect now and obviously craved the feel of me like this. “So tense…” the words dripped with desire and even though I was so uncomfortable with this, the obvious way this turned him on was ecstasy to me. I was tense… I was on edge and paranoid about how much of me was showing. My gaze constantly flicked to the cameras around us even as I told myself not to pay them much mind. I’d already talked to Jill about this and though she was against it, saying over and over again that we should just stick to my bedroom, she agreed to look the other way until I texted her that we were done. Still, I thought the embarrassment would eat me alive if Wesker didn’t first. 

“You gave me what I wanted last night so I’m giving you what you want today.” I muttered as I reached back down to my pants for the small bottle of lube I’d stashed in my pocket before this. 

“I thought you didn’t want to have sex on camera.” he teased and I blushed somehow harder, my face now uncomfortably hot. I popped the lube’s cap open and indicated Wesker’s hand so he offered me the fingers of his right hand since my other was holding the blanket closed around my body. 

“Can you seriously not bring that up? I’m having a hard enough time with this as it is.” I requested as I squeezed some of the sustenance onto the blond’s fingers, watching as he spread it over his digits before moving his hand under the blanket. He opened his mouth to say something but seemed to think better of it and closed his mouth again. Unsure what he was going to say, I was still glad that he didn’t. I lifted myself a little so he could get his hand between our bodies. He quickly lifted himself as well to pull his pants down away from his hips and I shivered in desire when his hard cock rubbed against my bare ass under the blanket. The sound I made must have turned Wesker on infinitely more because his eyes narrowed seductively at me just before his slickened fingers pressed inside me. I flinched at the sudden cold entry but it wasn’t unpleasant. 

Neither of us delayed for long, Wesker because he wanted inside of me to feel my tension more completely and me because I wanted to get this over with. I enjoyed it- I really did but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t doing this more for him because it would feel just as good to me in my bedroom where the cameras couldn’t see us. But this meant something to Wesker and he’d been so considerate of my wants so… I wanted to give back to him. Seeing how much he wanted me, seeing the way he threw his head back into the couch cushions as he eased into me… hearing his deep drawn out moan of pleasure… it was all amazing. Witnessing his reaction to the pleasure he got from my body deepened my lust for him and almost made me forget about the recording eyes all around us. 

“So tight…” he muttered more to himself as his hands gripped bruisingly into my hips to control himself from making me move more though he idly rocked his hips up into me. I lay over him and locked my lips over his as I moved, slowly at first and enjoyed the vibration of the moans he spilled into my mouth. “Fuck… Chris.” his voice sounded in the small space between our lips as we breathed. His voice was everything to me, he was my god and only I could make him crumble like this. I picked up the pace some more, intentionally lifting myself slowly before slamming myself down onto his erection to make him hiss at the burst of sensation. I tried not to cry out my own pleasure too much because I wanted to hear him so I bit into his neck, his lips, his collarbone, his shoulders, his chest- anywhere my teeth could reach. I bit hard enough to bruise and loved the sight of my mark on him even though I knew they would be gone before the day was up. He never stopped me or contested that he wasn’t into the pain and I wanted to believe it was because he had finally started to grow to enjoy it- or at least tolerate it as a part of the pleasure. 

“Oh god, Wesker!” it was too much. I didn’t think I would enjoy this nearly as much as when we were in private but even I could feel the difference with how much tighter my lingering anxiety had me. My inner walls clung tighter to Wesker as he was thrust in and out of my body which fed more of that delicious friction directly to my nervous system which effectively clouded my brain. The buzzing reminder of the cameras on us and the fact that even if Jill wasn’t watching right now , a number of BSAA personnel could go back and watch this recording, was constant but didn’t stop me. I went harder, keeping my upper body hovering just over the other man as I bounced my lower body onto his, feeling every bit of the movement of his dick piercing me in the best possible way. His nails dug grooves into my lower back as he returned my love bites, bruising my skin even as he tried to show restraint not to hurt me too badly for the sake of the mission tomorrow. He tried to let me do all the work and set the pace to ensure we didn’t take things too far but I didn’t complain when he took some control and fucked up into me. 

Our breathy moans mingled in hot puffs between us as we kissed and nipped at each other’s lips. It was entirely heated and full of lust but it was playful as well. When I laughed after he bit my cheek, he gifted me a rare sloppy smile that was so clearly lovestruck. Regardless of my nervousness, this was fun. 

When I came with a desperate cry of Wesker’s name, he used his fingers to scope some of my fluids off of his own chest before shoving them into my mouth. Even half gagging, I used my tongue to clear the whitened liquid from his fingers as he continued to pound into my ass. As soon as I was done, Wesker pushed his fingers farther into my throat until I did fully gag and though I tried to pull away from his hand, he pressed down on my jaw to prevent me from moving too much. Then he finally retracted his hand and covered my mouth with it just in case. I heaved and sucked in as much breath as I could through my nose as I glared down at the blond even with choked tears in my eyes. 

“Payback for last night.” he informed me with a sadistic smirk. He released my mouth but before I could complain, both of his hands were suddenly around my throat as he forced me to sit up just enough for him to see more of our joined bodies without allowing the cameras his view. “You can take it.” his tone was needy and demanding and I couldn’t do anything to stop him from starting the brutal pace he threw me into. A blurred blackness overtook most of my vision as my air was limited only to what I needed to remain conscious. The aggressive pressure of his dick forcing its way through me was outstanding and I very quickly didn’t have the mental capacity to discern one thrust from the next as it all blended together into pure passionate pleasure. “Chris… yes, yes Chris !” even through my haze I was hyper fixated on Wesker’s voice as he finished inside of me, his hot essence pouring into my waiting body like I desperately needed it to survive. I came again just from the sound of his voice- it came over me suddenly and without warning, so hard it was almost painful. 

There was nothing in this world but him, my god. His voice so passionate with my name, his eyes so vibrantly fixated on me, his body so eagerly fit to mine, his patience so willingly at my call, his love so readily given only to me. My god, I was his world. 

Reality didn’t come back into focus for a long time, I wasn’t sure of what all had happened but I was lying on top of Wesker in a sweaty panting heap. One of his arms dangled off the side of the couch while the other remained wrapped around my back. My head was on his shoulder and his gasping breaths were in my ear. I was exhausted but I lazily turned my head to kiss his cheek. 

“Was it… everything you wanted?” I spoke before I had fully caught my breath, my voice was a little husky and my throat kind of hurt but it wasn’t that bad. 

“All that and more.” he claimed with a smile as he turned his head to meet my lips in a slow and loving kiss. 

“Then it was worth it.” I sighed in contentment as I rested my head back on his shoulder. We both remained as we were for a few more minutes as we rode out the high of our organism, plural in my case but that was kind of just the norm between us now. Once I was clear headed again, I was registering the familiar pains I was used to by now after sex with Wesker. “I’m so glad we figured out our feelings for each other.” the blond only nodded his agreement as he held me tighter to him, bearing my weight fully on him without complaint. His subtle show of affection for me filled me with even more comfortable warmth. Without question, hesitance, or regret- I loved this man. “Hey, Wesker?” I wasn’t sure I wanted to continue even when the older man hummed to acknowledge my want to say something more. “Do you think…” I sighed and just asked my question. “Do you think we’ll ever say it?” he was quiet for a moment longer than I was comfortable with but I knew he understood what I was talking about. 

“I don’t believe we need to.” he finally answered which was at least relieving because it meant he really felt the same even if he didn’t think it needed to be voiced. 

“Well… still.” I pushed myself onto my elbows over him as I gave him a slow and loving kiss, my lips moving over his to express all the feelings I had for him. When I parted from him I gave him my most sincere smile as I thought about how far we’d come together. I wanted to say it. “I love you.” he’d stopped me from saying it before but not this time and actually saying the words out loud to him for the first time… it was freeing. I giggled to myself a little as I leaned down to kiss him again just from how good it felt to finally say… but he didn’t kiss me back, his lips unmoving against mine. I pulled away from him just enough to look down at his face… the expression he wore was conflicted but there was hurt and regret over all else. His bright yellow eyes darkened to a dull orange… and then straight to an agonized red. All the warmth that had built up in my body suddenly chilled to an icy freeze in my veins and my heart dropped like a stone in a never ending pit. There was such an overwhelming feeling of dread over both of us now and I wasn’t sure if I would ever get the look on his face out of my mind… and I suddenly regretted everything. 

“I wish you hadn’t done that.” his voice was low and pain echoed through the words as he averted his eyes from mine and wouldn’t meet them again. Before I could say anything, he effortlessly rolled me off of him and he turned his body to stand up off the couch. He took a second to pull his pants up before he wordlessly walked into his room and shut the door between us. 

He left me there alone… staring after him as my heart finally hit the bottom of the pit and shattered into hundreds of little shards. My whole world came crashing down on top of me all over again as regret and fear replaced every single good feeling I’d ever experienced the past month. This was exactly what I was afraid of… exactly what I knew I would feel… this was why I never wanted to get so involved with him. What had I done? I never should have allowed any of this- I never… never should have said that to him. I knew… I knew this would happen and yet… it hurt so damn much more than I thought it would. 

… … … 

We stood at the front door together with arms embracing each other because despite recent… developments… neither of us wanted this to end. He kissed me first a while ago, deep and wanting as if nothing had changed between us… but his eyes never brightened from that pained red color that only served to remind me of heartbreak now. I allowed it because even fearing what changed between us earlier in the day- even after he avoided me for the remainder of our time together, I desperately needed to feel like he still cared about me. I’d done enough crying alone in my room earlier, I wasn’t going to now… even if I wanted to. I was so afraid of what was going to happen… but it was happening. It was midnight on the thirtieth day… time to go. 

I sucked in a sharp breath of fear when I heard the locks on the front door begin to disengage and I clung tighter to Wesker, not wanting this to be our end. I wasn’t ready… I needed more time. I fucked things up this time, he showed me he wasn’t ready for me to say what I had and I needed time to fix it- I could fix it! 

“Chris.” his voice was low but pleading and when I looked at him he kissed me again like we’d been doing on and off for the last few minutes, never wanting “this one” to be our last. My eyes burned with the realization that one of these kisses was going to be the last time I ever kissed Albert Wesker. I couldn’t take it- I wasn’t ready for this! Wesker held up two folded pieces of paper for me but I just stared at the last letter he would be giving me… last … I very quickly grew to hate the word. “You can share this one with the rest of the BSAA.” he told me but I only snatched it with one hand to shove it into my pocket in order to get my arm back around him as quickly as possible. I wasn’t ready… it wasn’t fair- I didn’t want to lose him! The door opened behind me and I knew agents with guns were waiting on the other side for me but I didn’t want to go. Wesker’s arms tightened around me briefly, his face pressing into my neck as he breathed me in one more time. “Goodbye.” I barely heard him mutter into my skin but it made me suddenly pull away from him with a desperate look on my face… but he still wouldn’t meet my eye. I used both hands to caress his face as I kissed him just one more time… but it wasn’t enough, it would never be enough. His eyes were finally on me but that pained sadness still engulfed them as they somehow turned an even darker red like the crimson blood his heart was surely bleeding… it was like looking at me only made it worse for him. 

“I’ll see you later.” I corrected him before trying my very best to give him a smile… though I’m sure I failed at seeming at all okay. He looked away from me again and said nothing. Then I slowly and with so much hesitation it felt like I was trudging through mud, I backed away from him. He didn’t move with me but he held onto my hand until I was far enough that the tips of our fingers barely remained connected. Then my hand fell away from his and the cold his presence had been keeping away… swooped in to bury me. Now I couldn’t face him either… I turned and walked out, feeling a door deep inside of myself close with the mechanical clicks of that secure door behind me. It had sealed me inside with Wesker… now it sealed between us to keep us apart. 

I read his final letter on the elevator ride to the surface and at first I had to really try to choke back my tears but then my mind shifted. I pushed aside all the pain and fear- I used the cold to harden myself for my next task. If this mission was Wesker’s chance to escape, I would crush whatever plans he had. I wouldn’t let him leave me. 

~~~ 

Uroboros  

I’ve been collecting viruses for years now and though I initially had no solid plans for them, I knew they could only benefit me in one way or another. There was a project I had begun to work on using strains of different viruses but it wasn’t until after dealing with Spencer that a vision of what to do with it began to take shape in my mind. Thus the creation of Uroboros began in earnest. I intended to use it to wipe out most of the human population, leaving only the rare selected with suitable superior DNA to benefit from the virus and carry on into a new generation. I intended to force the human race into a new evolutionary stage to become something better than human. I intended to rule over this new race as a god. 

But that was Spencer’s plan, not mine, Chris showed me that. Nothing would come of me making Spencer's vision a reality even if I was in the role he assigned himself. Chris showed me the only way for me to truly live for myself and follow my own will, is to let Spencer’s ideals die with him. I will not be a tool for him even after death. I will forge my own path. 

Below is a detailed summary of the Uroboros Virus in its current state. I’ve begun to dabble with a possible vaccine formula but it remains incomplete as I would need to test things before knowing for sure if it would work. The virus itself is incomplete so this wouldn’t be of much use anyway, however I figured it wouldn’t hurt to at least give a little thought to it. 

Thank you for everything Chris.

Chapter Text

I sat outside, staring up at the blue sky as I soaked up as much morning sunlight as I could as if I were a starving plant finally taken out of the shade. It felt good to be outside again- the sun, the breeze, the ambient sounds around me, everything felt so refreshing now that I wasn’t stuck in a windowless box underground. There was peace in the little things. As soon as I left the prison I jumped into helping finalize the last touches needed for the gear and everything we were taking. I took a nap in the barracks, got something to eat, showered, changed into my gear, and went outside for the first time in a month as I waited for the call to deploy. Regardless of the nagging fear I was keeping forced to the back of my mind, I still wished Wesker could have come out with me to enjoy this moment. 

“Chris!” I heard my sister’s voice call and finally looked away from the sky above to see Claire running towards me. A sudden burst of relief exploded in my chest and immediately I felt my eyes burning. I hadn’t been expecting her but I stood up and opened my arms just as she crashed into me, securing her arms around my torso as mine wrapped around her neck and upper back to keep her close. It felt good to hold her like this, felt better than being outside again. But why? Why did I suddenly feel like I was slipping? Seeing her when she was able to visit me was its own kind of relief but this was different somehow. She was there for me when I first fell into that depression thinking that both my best friend and the man I secretly loved were lost to me. She was there for me when they came back and Wesker wanted me locked up with him. She supported me in doing what I thought was right even if it meant risking myself. She was there for me in my scared confusion over my own feelings. She encouraged me to follow my heart even if it led me to the enemy. She was there to reassure me that she was safe when I was so scared she was lost to me too. And she was here for me now before I even realized I needed her. Even though I was still scared, I felt like I was more myself than I had been in a long time. 

My tears were wetting the shoulder of her red jacket before I even realized I needed to get the emotion out and she only continued to hold me as I cried. Ever since I ruined everything by telling Wesker I loved him, I’d been doing my very best to trample my feelings down into a little box where I could ignore them. But seeing Claire again… having her in my arms now felt like coming home after being gone for too long. I suddenly felt safe enough to feel what was in my heart and what was there… was pain. Another hand touched my shoulder and I turned to see Jill standing at my side with a sad but understanding smile on her face. 

“I thought you could use your family right now.” she told me and I choked back a sob as I realized she called Claire in for me. She had been waiting for me at the top of the elevator and we hugged for a while before I insisted we get to work because we only had several hours before we would be leaving. She never pressed me but she saw right through my calm facade and was trying to do what she could to make me feel better. I let go of Claire with one arm to drag Jill into our hug. I hugged both of them tightly as I cried out the fear and worry I felt over what was going to happen next. And they held me in return to assure me I wasn’t alone in this, not this time. She was right, I really did need my family right now and now that she was here, I did. 

… … … 

I stared either at the roof of the vehicle or at Wesker as we rode in the back of the armored vehicle toward the location the bioterrorist had given for his backup. We headed out immediately though a team nearer to the location was told to scout it out before we got there. While they were able to uncover the entrance to what seemed to be some kind of facility built into a mountain, they were unable to enter it. It was suggested that we could try to bust into the place but reminders of how that worked out with Wesker’s phone shut that idea down. The original data was already lost, we couldn’t afford this backup data to be lost as well so we had to do this Wesker’s way. 

“Sir, your neck.” one of the members of the team commented with a hesitantly pointed finger towards me. “Are you alright?” I only sighed as I adjusted the high neck of my undershirt to cover the bruising better. Jill was titled captain of the team and it was kind of accepted that I was something of a vice captain though I didn’t really care for it. The team was, to my dismay, filled in about the nature of my relationship with Wesker but they didn’t know about the violence we could inflict on each other during sex. I tried to hide the hand shaped bruises on my neck from yesterday but evidently my shirt didn’t cover it all. They all had mixed reactions to the news of my personally intimate involvement with our enemy but per Jill’s warning, no one spoke up about it. 

I caught Wesker smirking but he still didn’t turn to look at me even if I knew the smirk was for me. It… it still hurt that he wouldn’t look at me. He hadn’t even said a single word since he’d been removed from the prison. He did have a small moment when he stepped into the sunlight for the first time before he was put into the back of the truck. I wished I could have given him more time to bask in it like I had but we needed to get moving- the less time he had out of confinement, the better. He was heavily chained to the bench he sat on and to himself, the cuffs and chains were thick and I could only hope they would hold him. I sat across from him, Jill sat at his side, and we were in the very back which meant he’d have to get through the entire team to get to the door on the other side of the long vehicle. 

“Alright,” Jill finally called as she leveled a glare at the Wesker, having caught my disappointment over his lack of interaction. “what the hell’s your problem?” she demanded of the BOW and after a reluctant sigh, those still red eyes turned to her without so much as nearing me even though he had to turn his head past me to see her. 

“I don’t follow.” he stated which was more interaction than I had gotten from him all day… which was abnormal since I was usually the only person in a room he would ever address. 

“You’re actually acting suspicious which doesn’t make any sense because no matter what kind of situation you’ve been in, you always keep your cool.” she explained as I looked from her back to Wesker. “Not even gonna taunt us or give any sarcastic threats?” I found his gaze on me but the moment we made eye contact he turned his head away again to go back to staring at the wall of the vehicle. 

“Things have changed.” he answered softly, low enough that I almost didn’t hear him. 

“How long has he been like this?” my best friend asked me, her gaze still hard from the tension in the truck. 

“Since I said-” I had to stop myself from saying it aloud, I hadn’t even meant to start speaking at all. Everyone was looking at me curiously, even the blond had a momentarily surprised look on me because he knew there was no way I would ever repeat the words I said to him in front of so many people. “Since yesterday.” I finished as I folded my arms and glared down at the floor between us. Luckily no one pressed me for the meaning of what I had started to say so I didn’t have to even try to explain myself. 

… … … 

I sat on the bench opposite Wesker, near the door to watch out the small window set in the heavy metal. We’d reached the location and found the entrance so Wesker helpfully supplied the means to open the door. I was staying back with our prisoner while the rest of the team cleared what they could of the facility before we would have to inevitably take Wesker in. I watched him, sitting there so still and silent… after so long of constantly seeing him so open and unguarded this was… wrong. I stood to walk to the back of the truck, taking the spot Jill had been in next to him on the bench he was chained to, close enough there was only about an inch between our legs. Neither of us spoke and neither of us would look at each other as we both listened to the low team communication from my earpiece. He finally made the first move, his leg subtly shifting over to touch mine. I let out a shaky breath and slowly moved my hand to rest on his thigh as I peeked over at him to hopefully catch his reaction. The corner of his mouth slightly turned upward and he looked at me now but it wasn’t relieving in any way, the saddened expression between us spoke of the feeling of finality that loomed over us. 

“Things are different?” I whispered to him, not because I didn’t want to be overheard but because I didn’t want to break whatever power was keeping the end of our time together from reaching us. I was scared of what he was planning- of whatever he may or may not decide to do… but at least I was feeling a little better about things thanks to my family. 

“Yes.” he confirmed just as softly though his eyes betrayed him by becoming a deeper red… his own declaration worsened his mood. Was it because he knew he’d have to live with that now while being away from me after he escaped? 

“I won’t let you leave me.” I told him with a confidence I didn’t feel, however I still felt the stirring in my chest when he smiled at me. It didn’t lessen his obvious sadness when he looked at me but it was still sincere and proud. 

“I would be disappointed if you did.” and just like that, the small bit he had lifted me… he sent me crashing back down farther than I had been before. I inhaled shortly and held my breath as I stood up again, letting my hand fall away from Wesker as I wordlessly made to leave. I was still on a mission… I couldn’t break down and let the stinging heat leave my eyes. But it was so hard… because he practically admitted that he was going to try to escape. I wouldn’t let him… I wanted to believe I could stop him… but I felt deep down that I wouldn’t be able to. This was his territory, he would have set up some way for him to slip away and he couldn’t use me as an excuse not to because he set all this up before he was imprisoned with me and realized his feelings. I opened the door to the truck but stopped before jumping out… I shouldn’t… it would only hurt more… but I needed to. I needed it to be his fault. 

“Promise you won’t leave me.” I called back to him though I couldn’t turn to face him even as his silence stretched on. I wasn’t sure what I wanted him to say… if he refused then at least he was being honest though he would be confessing to his escape plans. But if he made this promise… not only would we both know he was lying to me but he would be accepting the blame for everything he was intentionally doing to me. I wondered if he knew I was setting him up and if he did, what did he think about it? “Promise me.” I pressed when he went long enough without answering. 

“I promise.” his words sank my heart into my stomach and I had to hold my breath again to prevent the emotionally pained sound that stuck in my throat and burned my mouth. My chest felt hollow and I knew… a piece of me was dying to avoid this pain. I jumped out of the truck and shut the door behind me. I couldn’t go anywhere, having to stay and guard Wesker but I couldn’t stay in the truck with him any longer… it hurt too much right now and I needed my head in the game. 

“Jill.” I called as I pressed my finger to the earpiece I was wearing. “Whatever Wesker’s got planned here, he’s going through with it.” I informed with a steady voice even if my emotions threatened to shake my resolve at having to confirm this out loud. “Be extra cautious in there and keep an eye open for anything he could have set up.” 

“Copy that Chris.” the captain responded though I was sure she probably wanted to say more, maybe ask if I was alright but couldn’t right now. Honestly… I wasn’t sure if I was. But I would push it all down for now to deal with later because I needed to focus and my emotions would only get in the way. If Wesker wanted to try to leave me now after all we’d built between us, I wouldn’t make it easy for him. 

… … … 

The team came back after clearing the small facility. It seemed to be an old lab of sorts though there wasn’t anything left in there, seeming to have been cleared out a long time ago. It was likely Wesker had chosen this place purely for the purposes of storing his backup here. Jill reported they found where it was contained but it was locked up tight and sure enough, the damn thing had various DNA imprint locks. Unless we were up for some serious mutilation, we would have to take Wesker in to personally unlock and retrieve the data. 

“He could live without a few body parts.” I muttered harshly as I glared at the screen showing the recording of the locks they encountered on the safe. 

“Chris…” I looked up to my best friend to be met with her stunned and nearly disgusted expression. I glanced around at the uncomfortable looks on some of the others and sighed as I turned my face back down to the screen. 

“Sorry.” I offered though truly I wasn’t… and that didn’t bother me as much as it probably should have. I scared myself a little with how seriously I thought about tearing into another person. I couldn’t help it though, it felt deserved and it would keep him in the truck where he would have less of a chance of escaping me. And that… yeah, that thought kind of worried me. I shouldn’t be thinking like that. “Let’s get this over with.” I growled as I shoved the tablet toward the team member who handed it to me so I could turn around and open the back door to the truck. I stepped up into it and marched over to Wesker, glaring at him though he barely acknowledged me. “Whatever you’re thinking, don’t do it .” I warned him in a fiercely whispered growl as I began to unlock his chains from the bench but kept the ones around him secured. I grabbed him under the arm and hauled him to his feet before I walked with him to the door, almost shoving him down but he landed perfectly on his feet. Jill had a hold of his cuffs as I jumped down next to him and took him from her. 

“So rough.” he teased with a sly smirk but I didn’t find it amusing right now as I started toward the facility’s entrance. 

“It’s either this or a bullet in the leg.” I informed him only to have Jill snap a warning look at me that only made me roll my eyes. I knew I wasn’t doing very well at keeping my own emotions in check but I wasn’t in the mood for any sort of reprimand. Wesker hummed thoughtfully before falling silent as we entered the building. Jill and half the rest of the team were in front of us while the other half was behind us to box Wesker in as we escorted him to where the data waited. I watched the man’s inhuman eyes as we walked but he only faced straight which told me that whatever he had set up wasn’t here. Until his gaze very briefly flicked to a hallway to our left. I forced him to a stop which made the entire team stop with us but his expression didn’t give anything else away. It could have been nothing… it could be a trick… it could be that there was something down there. I made eye contact with Jill and gestured with my head down the hall we were stopped by and she sent a few agents to go check it out. They’d already been down there and found nothing but she instructed them to check again and be more thorough, leave nothing unturned. The rest of us pressed on but Wesker gave no other indications of anything he may have planned. I couldn’t get a beat on whether that was because there was nothing else or if he was making an effort not to give anything else away. 

The room we stopped in had trailed away from the manmade structure to reveal a natural cavern in the mountain. It was large and mostly open without much lighting, natural or otherwise, though the team had already set up some floodlights here and there. I couldn’t help but notice the natural openings in the walls that likely led to tunnels. Jill must have caught my worried staring at them because she shook her head at me. 

“We already checked them out, they’re shallow and don’t lead anywhere.” she informed me so I nodded gratefully at her. That was some good news at least. Jill motioned to a spot in the wall that I recognized from the recording I was shown. There was a large part of the far wall dug out to fit an impressive looking safe. It looked like there had been some kind of cover to help camouflage it but it had been removed, leaving hooks and clasps open and waiting for it to be returned to its place. Wesker had told them where to find it though they would have found it anyway without his help. 

“We held up our end of the deal, now you hold up yours.” I ordered as I led Wesker the rest of the way to the safe but didn’t let him go as he started to unlock it. 

“We?” he questioned and I glared harder at him for calling me out on once again associating myself with the BSAA. 

“Don't.” I warned him dangerously, now wasn’t the time or the place. I wasn’t sure what did it but something gave the blond man pause as he was entering a number combination into the keypad. He looked directly at me, his expression contemplative instead of either sad in our private moments or stoic while others were around. I felt my heart beat a little quicker and couldn’t tell if it was from hope or despair. “You promised.” I whispered to him, wishing that whatever was going through his head… that he would choose to stay with me. Then that sad look returned and he looked away from me back to the keypad. The dread that filled me the moment he looked away from me had me tightening my grip on his cuffs with my left hand and drawing my weapon with my right hand as he quickly entered a series of numbers. 

Suddenly there was a loud blaring siren overhead just as all the external lights shut off though the ones the team set up remained on. Having gotten a bad feeling that Wesker was about to make his move, I was ready and unphased by the alarm he triggered with whatever incorrect code he entered. I raised my gun to open fire at Wesker but he was already moving- twisting out of my grip and elbowing me hard enough in the chest to knock me back. For a long moment I was seeing spots in my vision as I tried to recover the breath that was knocked out of me. I heard shouts of surprise and barked orders and the very startling sound of bending metal and clinking chains. By the time my head cleared enough for me to join the struggle, Wesker was in the center of the group which meant no one could fire at him without risking blindly shooting each other. Even outmatched and not completely free from his bindings yet, Wesker still managed to take out a few members of the team. The lights were going fast too, the fucker had gotten ahold of one of the agent’s pistols and he was shooting them out to plunge all of us into darkness! Wesker had vanished from where I last saw him but he was just as blind as we were which meant he was buying time to free himself from his restraints. 

I clicked on the flashlight attached to my earpiece as someone screamed and I whirled around just to watch the last glimpse of an agent’s limbs disappear into the darkness of one of the short tunnel openings. Whoever had been dragged off quickly went quiet. The hollow place in my chest quickly filled with rage at the thought that Wesker was killing these men! 

“Move!” I heard Jill shout, commanding all of us to retreat back out into the last area. If we could block off that hallway, Wesker would have to get through the whole team before he’d be able to get out. It was a good plan, but I remained where I was. Someone else got grabbed, his scream followed by panicked shots then silence. Everyone started to take off but more people started going missing following the gray and black after image of the man taking them. I remained, knowing he wouldn’t go for me until he’d dealt with all the others first so if I could get his attention then maybe I could delay him hurting everyone else. I listened, tuning out the noise of the others, and the moment I heard the rattling of chains- I took a quick aim and fired into one of the openings. I heard a muttered curse and more chains but then Wesker fell quiet. 

I kept him off those remaining until I heard Jill call for me. I heard the sliding of metal just before yelling erupted from the same direction. I turned my head, and therefore my flashlight, over to where Jill was now banging on the door that had closed to lock us in here and the rest of the remaining team out. 

“Damn it!” the captain yelled as she kicked the solid door. I remained alert and listened for Wesker as my eyes slowly scanned the room for him. I knew he hadn’t left, I could still feel him here. Just as I had my back turned to my best friend, lights overhead suddenly blasted to life and momentarily blinded me. Hearing a scuffle behind me, I whirled around to see Wesker had used the sudden blinding light to disarm Jill and was now using her own handcuffs to lock her to a fixture near the sealed door. He’d managed to free himself from the rest of the chains which was why I hadn’t heard him moving around. 

I got off two shots, making sure they wouldn’t hit Jill, but the BOW dodged them as he now faced me. I rushed him at the spot I knew he’d be at after moving out of the line of the third bullet, successfully getting my shoulder into his chest and pushing him back a ways. But he dug his heel into the ground and stopped my progress before he drove his elbow into my back and threw me nearer to the safe. He advanced on me as I hurriedly pulled myself to my feet. I heard the clink of my handcuffs as he snatched them from their holster on my belt. I tried to grab his wrist to prevent him from doing anything with them but he dropped them into his other hand and got one cuff around my left wrist. As he was doing that, I swung a hard right hook to his temple while he was a little distracted and it landed squarely to momentarily stun him. I used the opportunity to secure the other cuff to his wrist to lock us together as he blinked away whatever haze I gave him. 

“Nice move Chris.” Wesker praised me with an amused smirk before his free hand came down onto his locked one, a few sick cracks ringing in my ears as he broke his own bones. I yanked my locked arm back to pull him closer to me as I threw another punch with my free fist but the motion only jerked his broken hand in an odd fashion before the handcuff slipped from his bloody wrist. He ignored the pain I knew he had to be experiencing as he moved to the side just in time to miss my hook and use his leg to trip me, using my momentum to get me where he wanted me. I stopped myself from falling only to have a strong hand press into my back and shove me forward into the wall face first. I grunted as I held my now bleeding nose but my eyes shot open when my arm was forced away from my face then several clicks of a lock tightening reached my ears. I tried to lunge for him before he could get away but he quickly moved just out of my reach. 

“Nooo!” I screamed in fury as I thrashed and fought against the handcuffs trapping me to one of the hooks in the wall near the safe. I pulled myself as close to him as I could, not caring that the metal bit painfully into my wrist. I couldn’t reach him with my hand so I pivoted and tried to kick him which did make him have to hurriedly step back even further to remain out of my range. “You son of a bitch!” I yelled at him as I continued to pull at my restraints to try to reach him. 

“Chris… I-” he hissed in pain following the two loud gunshots that echoed off the cavern walls, the bullets sinking into Wesker’s back. Jill had made quick work picking the lock on the handcuffs and had retrieved her gun. Before he could recover from being shot, Jill ran up behind the blond man and, seeing what she was getting ready to do, I backed up a little and prepared myself as well. She flip kicked him which sent him forward into my range so I threw my arm back and put all my power into a haymaker. It landed solidly and though it didn’t get him down, it made him turn and stumble away from me to once again get out of my range. But Jill had already corrected and shifted her form to jump onto him, her thighs locking around his head before she threw her weight backward. She caught herself with her hands on the ground but Wesker’s head didn’t get any cushioning. Jill pulled herself away from him and for just a moment we both stared at his still form. 

“Give me your keys!” I called to the blonde but before she could comply, Wesker groaned and started to pull himself up. 

“You bitch!” he growled with a dangerous flaring red glare. Jill rushed to him again, jumping to do a double knee drop to get him back down but he’d recovered enough to roll out of the way just as her knees landed where he had been. Without getting up, he pushed off with his hands on the ground to kick the woman higher on her back which probably knocked the air out of her lungs but it also put her to the ground on her stomach. Wesker was on top of her then, pinning her down as one arm snaked around her neck and flexed. 

“Jill!” I panicked and yanked my arm repeatedly to try to break something that held me back from them- I didn’t care whether it was the hook, the handcuffs, or my bones. I didn’t care how much it hurt- he was suffocating her! “Stop it!” I screamed as I turned and grabbed the chain of the handcuffs and pulled as hard as I could, even propping my foot onto the wall to push with my lower body strength too. I heard the cracks and pops my wrist made but I ignored it, letting out a pained war cry as I pulled harder. The metal dug into my skin until blood dripped from the silver loop locked around my wrist but it was bending- I could get out! My world suddenly silenced when I could no longer hear my best friend’s struggle for breath. I stopped pulling on the handcuffs and turned back to the other two just as Wesker moved off of Jill to sit on the ground next to her. His now healed and unbroken hand lifted to the back of his head as he gave himself another few moments to recover and collect himself. “Is she… did you…” I couldn’t hear her breathing though maybe that was just because she was too far away from me and there were other sounds that were louder. Or maybe… maybe it was because Wesker killed her. 

“She’s only unconscious.” the other man informed me but I didn’t believe him. I stared intensely at her back and only released a shaky relieved breath when I saw the subtle rise and fall of her breathing. “The others too, I haven’t killed anyone.” when I finally looked at him, his eyes were already on me and though they were still a blazing red I saw the extra effort he had put himself through to only incapacitate instead of kill. This would have been a lot easier on him if he just killed everyone but he didn’t and I knew it was for my sake. I believed him and I was so relieved. He slowly exhaled before pulling himself to his feet but he wasn’t looking at me, he was looking back toward the way we had come. The door was sealed but he must know that the rest of the team would be rushing for the laser cutter to get through the door. He still didn’t look at me as he moved back to the safe to finish unlocking it. 

“Wesker!” I yelled though I wasn’t sure if I was trying to get his attention or if I was just pissed off and wanted him to know. I shouted nonsensical words and obscenities at him but he ignored me as he got to work on what he was doing and I… I felt panic- hot and raw in my veins. He was getting his data and leaving- he was going to leave me ! I couldn’t let him leave - I didn’t want him out of my life again! I went back to trying to pry myself away from the wall but it hurt even more now that my wrist had a rest from the continuing damage. The metal of the handcuff had bent under the strain earlier… but it only made the metal warp into a position that would make it even harder to get off. I… I couldn’t stop this. I was stuck here and Wesker was going to leave me again. And it… I was right- it was so much worse now that he knew what he was doing to me. I screamed as the broken bones in my wrist shifted after I jerked my arm back again. 

“Stop that!” Wesker finally yelled, his red eyes glaring at me for continuing to hurt myself. I didn’t realize I was crying until I looked up at him and could only see his figure through the blurry haze of my own tears as his arm reached into the now open safe. I watched him pull out a pair of his classic sunglasses though he clipped them to the front of his shirt instead of putting them on. Next he pulled out a cell phone and stuck it in his pocket. When he drew his STARS Samurai Edge I didn’t even care, I wasn’t worried about him trying to kill me and even if he tried… somehow I still didn’t care right now. 

“Captain…” my voice was low and pleading as he grabbed one last thing from the safe, a small rectangular device that was likely the hard drive containing all the data he promised to the BSAA. His red eyes turned to me with pity and sadness but he knew better than to come near me which would usually be the smart choice… but right now I didn’t care about trying to attack him. I felt so empty already and I had no fight left in me anymore. My free hand reached out for him, my fingers opened for his hand to hold mine. I just wanted Wesker… I just wanted him to stay… even if it was only for a little longer. He acknowledged my cry for him and stepped close enough to intertwine his fingers with mine, kneeling in front of me as he held our now joined hands to his chest. He spared a worried look at the bleeding and broken wreck that was my left wrist but didn’t do anything about it. Instead the blond’s other hand moved to the back of my head to bring our foreheads together as I cried. “Don’t… don’t do this, please Wesker- please don’t go…” I shamelessly begged him, taking a hollow pleasure in the feeling of his breath on my lips as he sighed. 

“I’m sorry Chris.” he whispered to me but it wasn’t comforting at all, in fact it only made me cry harder. 

“You asshole…” the insult made the blond chuckle, a depressed fondness in the sound. “You promised .” I accused him but my voice was far weaker than I wished it was. 

“Oh pet, we both knew I was lying.” his confirming words hurt even more than the actual knowledge. 

“You don’t have to, just stay- stay with me .” 

“Chris…” his head moved from mine to look back at the door when the hissing sound of a laser cutter biting into the metal started. Our time was up… I felt it like the chime of a clock in my mind. 

“No- no, Wesker!” I panicked even more as I held onto his hand as tightly as I could, knowing he would spend the time the team needed to get the door open escaping rather than with me. He was leaving… whether I wanted him to or not. “Don’t! You can’t leave me, not again- not after everything!” then his lips were on mine, the kiss so full of regret and longing. I couldn’t enjoy it… it was too much, I didn’t want to say goodbye. I looked into his eyes as he slowly pulled away from the kiss and I watched as they turned from red into a lightened red-orange color though they glowed with an intense vibrancy. 

“I love you too.” he spoke to me with such a longing and sincere tone… from this distance I’m sure Wesker could hear the sound of my heart breaking into smaller and smaller pieces. 

“That’s not fair…” my voice broke and my body shook as I sobbed and clung to the man I loved the best I could. “That’s not fair .” I repeated even as my voice continued to devolve with my spiraling emotions. It wasn’t enough- I wanted more time! I needed more time with him! Was that really so much to ask for? Didn’t I deserve to have just some happiness in my life- haven’t I done enough yet to earn just one thing going right for me? 

“I meant it when I said things were different.” he brushed away some of the tears from my cheek though they were soon replaced. “I know we’ll meet again Dearheart, our fates are forever intertwined.” he vowed as he moved our hands higher to kiss our laced fingers. Then he pushed the hard drive from the safe into a pouch on my vest and pulled away from me in order to stand up. 

“No!” I held onto him so tightly my fingers hurt but I refused to let go. But he was stronger than me and pried his hand from mine, leaving my skin feeling cold and such an immense sense of loneliness in my chest I couldn’t bear it. “Wesker!” he spared me one more saddened look… and then he was gone. I felt absolutely everything I was drain from my body, leaving me entirely carved out and hollow inside. This was a mistake, all of it was a mistake, I never should have given him my heart… when I knew he would take it away with him. 

He was right though when he said things were different… he’d finally done it… he broke me.

Chapter Text

My dulled blue eyes stared at the black screen of the laptop as I sat back in my chair. I wasn’t sure how long had passed but I knew I’d been sitting there unmoving for a long time because my room had grown dark. I still wasn’t used to being able to watch the movement of the sun again, it seemed almost strange to me- though really that wasn’t saying much, was it? Everything seemed strange to me these days. The sun, fresh air, my apartment, my job, my friends, my entire life ! Everything was fucked ! In a sudden fit of rage, I sprung to my feet and swept my arms across the surface of my desk which toppled everything off of it. I yelled in fury as I did it, my skin stinging with the hard contact of the items on my desk being flung around. My laptop clattered to the floor, pages from files scattered about, and so much more from the clutter was now strewn over the floor. It wasn’t enough… so I knocked over my dresser as well, my frustration venting out through my barely contained screaming. But that was too much for my still healing wrist and pain shot up my entire arm until I clutched it close to my chest to cradle the terrible injury. Tears were already pouring down my face as I dropped to my knees and folded over to rest my head against the fallen dresser. It wasn’t enough… it was never enough. It wasn’t fair… nothing was fair. 

I’d been put on leave, as threatened, citing my mental health, the length of time I spent on mission, and my broken wrist as reasons for me to require some time away. But I didn’t care about that anymore, I wasn’t up for work anyway… I wasn’t up for anything anymore. I spent my time drifting in a haze, unclear of the passing time as I remained cooped up in my apartment. I often felt like I was outside of myself… if that was true though I didn’t know where I was instead, maybe I was nowhere. I typically didn’t feel things anymore, in place of my emotions there was a startling void like walking into a room that was supposed to be full of things just suddenly… bare. I felt robbed but couldn’t bring myself to give a damn about what was missing because maybe I was better off without it. Sudden outbursts like the one I just had were rare and short lived, even now that anger was slipping away from me and even my tears slowed and stopped. It was there… and then it was gone… just like him . 

Wesker had upheld his side of the deal and given the BSAA everything he promised he would. They were working with other agencies to use his evidence to make many arrests and shut down the operations of so many corrupt individuals and companies alike. But it wasn’t enough. There was so much legal red tape, insane technicalities and loopholes, ridiculous power and money being thrown around that too many of the big players were getting out of any serious consequences. Some of Wesker’s information was being contested and in some cases a lawyer or two was even able to get it entirely discounted! It wasn’t fair… nothing was fair. Those people needed to pay for the terrible things they did. I used to believe that the right thing to do was arrest them and make them face judgment… but that’s not what was happening. They were still getting away with it. Maybe the right thing really was to kill them, maybe that was the judgment they deserved- it was inescapable. 

“Chris?” I slowly lifted my head to the door of my bedroom as it opened to reveal my sister entering. “Oh my god- Chris!” Claire called in worry as she quickly took in the mess around my room with me just sitting among it. She stepped over my dresser to rush to my side as I sat up completely, letting her place gentle hands on my person so she could look me over. When she got to my wrist, she lectured me about hurting myself since the thing was swollen up again. I didn’t care though and tuned her out as my eyes wandered to the window. It was light out again… had I really been sitting here all night? 

“I didn’t hear you come in.” I said absentmindedly, accidentally cutting into whatever she was still saying. Claire had a key to my place for a long time and since I’d been out of confinement, she’d been by to check on me now and again just as she had before when I needed her. 

“I was knocking for a while…” she stated, her baby blue eyes watching at me with a deep concern. “I was calling your name too, you didn’t answer.” I didn’t reply to her, already back to staring off into the middle distance. “What happened?” she asked with a vague gesture around the room. 

“They found Excella.” I stated numbly, sighing even as anger stirred in my gut again. It wasn’t hard to work out that Excella Gionne, the CEO of Tricell’s African Division, was certainly the one from Wesker’s letter. The one that threw herself onto my temporary lover. That was by far the least of her crimes but it’s what I chose to focus on because it was one of the only things left that could make me feel anything. She was part of Wesker’s team that was working on the Uroboros Project which Wesker gave the research location of so it could be shut down before it could get much further into development. Guess whatever Wesker had on her wasn’t good enough though because she got away and would likely go into hiding to lay low for as long as she needed to. 

“Wesker’s business partner?” the redhead questioned, not understanding what was so important about her over so many others involved. I’d been talking to Claire about the things I was told of what was happening with Wesker’s information, confidential or not- I just didn’t care anymore. Of course taking down a dangerous terrorist was important but I hadn’t revealed my personal stake in it to anyone because it was jealous pettiness. 

“She got away.” I growled, the anger beginning to boil in my stomach and it was enough to get me to my feet and out of my room. Claire followed me out, eyeing me as I searched my own kitchen for any alcohol but I didn’t have any left since I’d been largely unwilling to leave my apartment. Sighing, I instead went for a cup to fill with water… but I opened the wrong cupboard… and the second one I opened was wrong too. 

“Next to the stove.” Claire called and I looked at her leaning against the wall leading into the kitchen still with a worried expression. I opened the cupboard she indicated and found she was right, the cups were there. I rubbed a hand down my face but pulled one down to get myself some water. “Chris it’s been…” my sister started though she didn’t finish the thought… but she didn’t have to, I knew what she meant. Even after… however long it’s been, I still wasn’t used to being back in my own place again. 

“It just doesn’t feel like home.” I told her with a shrug, unsure of what else to say to explain myself. 

“Does the prison?” her question didn’t surprise me, it was obvious where my mind was stuck lingering. I left her in silence for a long while, staring down at the countertop that seemed so wrong and out of place to me. I felt like I was stuck in a sick replica of somewhere that was supposed to mean something to me, everything was actually as it was meant to be but it just felt… wrong in some incomprehensible way. It wasn’t just my apartment either, it was everything- life itself felt eerily hollow. There was something… some one missing but there wasn’t a damn thing I could do to get him back. So what was I to do? 

“Maybe.” I finally said since she hadn’t left yet and was obviously still waiting for some kind of response. 

“You should come out with me to…” she trailed off as I shook my head. Of course she was being a good sister by trying to get me out of the house and out of my own grieving like she eventually managed to before Jill and Wesker came back to me… but I didn’t want to be helped this time. I wasn’t sure if I just wasn’t ready yet or if I truly didn’t care about anything anymore. By the time I finally turned back around to face her, she wasn’t there. The room wasn’t much brighter than before so I don’t think I was spaced out that long. I found her in the living room, sitting on the couch with her phone in hand. I sighed, knowing she wasn’t going to leave until she thought I was adequately taken care of. Her eyes tracked my movement as I stiffly sat next to her rather than retreating into my bedroom. “I’m ordering food, anything you’re in the mood for?” I shook my head to let her know I didn’t care what she got me, she knew all my favorites. Whatever she got I would at least make an effort to eat so she might worry a little less. “I brought in your mail.” she informed me with a gesture to the stack of envelopes and the square package on the coffee table. 

I didn’t really care to go through it right now but the package at least caught my attention because I wasn’t expecting anything. If it was more files from the BSAA, they would have sent someone to hand deliver them but regardless of it not even being the right shape for files, that’s where my mind went. Opening it and pulling out the contents didn’t somehow prove logic wrong like I was hoping, instead it made me sad. In my hand was a dark green coffee mug with bold black lettering on it spelling out “built like a boulder”. 

“Claire, I told you I’d buy a replacement.” I lectured her with a regretful sigh. It was a sweet gesture and I’m sure she thought it might make me feel better since it was my favorite mug before I’d broken it but really, this just reminded me of the prison now which was depressing. 

“I didn’t order that.” she told me, her widened blue eyes locked onto the mug as if it were a sign of danger. I looked at her then back to the mug as I turned it over in my hand. There wasn’t anything strange or out of place about it, it was exactly like the old one- it was even ordered from the same company. Briefly I wondered if Jill might have done it but the thought quickly left my mind because she would have personally brought it to me rather than sending it to my place. She likely would have insisted I use it to drink with her so she could try to ease me into talking about how I was feeling again. She was a great friend, the best. “Do you think…” I was grateful that she didn’t finish her thought… because I did think that- in fact I knew it. It was Wesker. Maybe the same thing could be said about his intentions- that it was supposed to make me feel better. But it didn’t. I wanted to be angry- so angry that I had to will myself not to throw the damn thing against the wall to share the same fate as the one that came before it. But I just wasn’t. All this did was deepen the hollow pit that had been carved into my chest. Was this his form of an apology? If it was, it was a pretty poor excuse for one. Maybe on some level it was still sweet, in a way, but was this really the best he could do for me? 

“I’m leaving the BSAA.” I stated to change the subject because I really didn’t want to even think about him right now. The declaration sounded so official to my own ears even if it was only spoken to my sister and not to anyone within the organization that mattered. 

“What? Chris, why?” the worry in her tone amplified, probably thinking this was simply the result of my current poor mental health. 

“I’ve just lost too much… I can’t do it anymore.” even after everything and even through my current void state, there was sadness in my voice over the finality of leaving the BSAA behind. 

“I know how heartbroken you must be right now Chris but you can get through-” 

“This isn’t about Wesker!” I suddenly exclaimed over her, giving my sister a pleading expression to just be understood. I knew she was worried, I knew she had plenty of reason to be but there was more to this than him. I was heartbroken, I couldn’t argue that, but in a way… I still had to thank Wesker for all he’d done for me while we were stuck together. Maybe even for everything he’d done for me before that too. He taught me so much and he was there for me even when so many were against me. That made the heartbreak so much deeper. But really it was my own fault for giving him my heart when I knew this would happen. “Look at what they’re doing Claire!” I waved an arm in a general direction as if indicating the organization I helped to build. “Wesker handed them everything they needed to put an end to so much corruption and death but they’re letting them just get away with it.” 

“That’s not fair and you know it Chris. Everyone is doing all they can to put away as many of them as they can.” the redhead argued and I sighed again, whatever scraps of emotion I’d pulled together for that already gone again. “Even if some of them get away, most of them are facing justice.” 

“It’s not enough.” I muttered before silence fell over us again. Eventually my sister scooted closer to hug me but I didn’t return the caring gesture… I couldn’t. 

… … … 

I stared over the prison for the last time, my eyes taking in every bit of it before I would leave and never return. All of my furniture had been removed within the first days after my departure but I hadn’t been back to make sure I had all of my belongings out of the place. I’d been putting it off… until now. After my wrist was completely healed and I had the doctor’s approval to return to work, I was told I could come back to the BSAA. I was told I would still have to complete some therapy before I could return to active field duty but other than that, I was in the clear. But I couldn’t. I told the higher ups I was done and even though they tried to convince me not to leave, I insisted on getting all the necessary forms to seal my early retirement dealt with. It was done. I was no longer a BSAA operative and it felt… freeing. 

Coming down to the prison to make my final sweep for my things was more of an excuse to get down here again. There was a depressed fondness in my chest as I glanced around each room, memories with Wesker flooding through me as if I were reliving it all at once. I still remembered how hostile and suspicious I’d been those first days and I still remembered how devastatingly happy I’d been in the last. My last days with Wesker… that sounded so inconceivable to me because we were always in each other’s lives in some way or another even when we went years without encountering one another. But that would change without me working with the BSAA, I wouldn’t be dealing with bioterrorists like Wesker anymore… which meant I truly would never see him again. He was wrong, we wouldn’t meet again. I never even got to tell him goodbye, too stubborn to believe it was the end of us but he sure proved me wrong. 

I looked down at the mug in my hands for a long time, my eyes tracing the bold lettering on it for the millionth time since I had received it weeks ago. I was going to leave it here but… it didn’t feel right anymore. It wouldn’t be like giving it back because Wesker wasn’t here. This prison turned home was just as hollow and empty as I was now. Wesker was gone. Looking over the living room where I spent most of my time here with the man I loved… I sighed and closed my eyes as I tried to hold onto the good memories. Me and Wesker playing with a children's chemistry set, me and Wesker watching movies together, me and Wesker sharing secrets and comforts with each other no one else was given before. Our first kiss, our first time making love, our first and only ‘I love you’s. As much as it hurt, I wouldn’t bury these memories and hide from them like I used to because Wesker helped me accept the good times with the bad. 

“Goodbye.” I whispered to the place that had changed my life… or was I saying it to Wesker? I turned and left, knowing I would never be back there and I was oddly okay with that. My reason for being there wasn’t there either so why should I be? 

“Chris!” Jill’s voice shouted after me just as I made it to the door leading out to the parking garage. Of course she was informed about what I did. I was hoping to make it out of the building before she tracked me down, preferring to have this conversation at one of our places rather than here. I only sighed and continued walking to my car but she followed me outside. “You can’t be serious about this!” she continued as she stormed up to me looking both hurt and angry. 

“I don’t have a place here anymore Jill. You can’t stop it, it’s already done.” I told her as I tossed my duffle bag into the backseat. I never really kept much at my desk so there wasn’t much to clean out. 

“I can’t let you give up on everything we’ve built because of Wesker!” she sounded defensive like what happened here determined so much more than just my career. 

“It’s not about Wesker!” I yelled back at her, matching her tone and throwing all of the defiance I had into it. “This is about me Jill- me .” she seemed taken aback by my declaration so I continued. “I’ve been thinking about it for a long time now- I’ve felt like this long before the deal was struck.” I told her so she would get it out of her head that Wesker leaving me was solely to blame for my sudden departure. “No matter how many outbreaks we stop, there’s always more to deal with. I’m sick and tired of seeing so much death when it feels like we aren’t even making a dent in this war. What did all those people die for? Nothing! We can’t even say that catching these people makes a difference for those that survive because they don’t always get what they deserve.” I sighed and ran a hand over my hair as I started to calm down, any emotion I could feel still fleeting. “I realized I actually prefer it when they just die rather than having to go through the legal bullshit.” I muttered and her eyes widened in disbelief at me but I ignored it. “All the walls we’re hitting with these arrests right now just proves my point. Organizations like the BSAA that try to follow the rules will always be leaps behind the bad guys because they don’t have to deal with all the red tape.” 

“We’re not above the law Chris, that red tape is there for a reason.” she reminded me. “Even O’Brian-” 

“O’Brian had to take an illegal risk and lie to everybody to bring Lansdale down which was underhanded and dirty but overall it was still the right thing to do.” I cut her off because he was my example, not hers. We all looked up to him as a leader and for a time my confidence in him wavered just like everyone else’s until I came to realize that he was right in what he did. “That terrorist is out of the picture now and we have O’Brian to thank for that. He was the best damn director we could have asked for and he was forced to step down over the same political bullshit we’re dealing with now. I can’t sit back and tolerate shit like that.” I concluded, staring into my best friend’s crestfallen features. 

“So… what are you going to do then?” she asked, sorrow just as pronounced as the resignation in her eyes. I sighed again and thought over some of my plans but I still wasn’t sure of that myself. Even if I was, I realized I couldn’t talk to her about any of it which was new and weird for me. Emotions were too raw right now and I knew we’d end up talking about it more later so for now, I just wanted to leave. 

“I don’t know yet. But it’s not gonna be anything that puts saving lives second to following bullshit legal rules.” I opened my car door and almost got in before I noticed Jill’s expression fall even more and a few tears slipped from her eyes. 

“Okay… good luck with… everything.” she wiped her cheeks free of the tears and tried to blink the rest away. 

“Hey…” I called as I pulled her into a hug, her arms quickly tightening around me as if I would vanish if she let me go. “We’re still best friends Jill, that’s not gonna change just because we’re not working together.” I reassured her with as soft of a tone as I could and she nodded into my chest. 

“I know, sorry, it’s just… we’ve never not worked together so this seems so final.” she explained and this time it was my turn to nod. I understood what she meant and now that I was thinking about it… I was a little worried too. Our work was our life and we grew so close since we were around each other all the time because we worked together. We’d been through hell and dragged each other back from the pits- it’s all we’d ever known. Everyone outside of work tended to fade into the distance if they weren’t a regular part of our lives. How long had it been since I’d talked to Barry or anyone else I was friends with outside of work? Claire was my little sister and we both made sure to make time for each other even if sometimes all we could spare was the odd phone call. Without work keeping us glued together, would Jill and I be able to hold onto each other on our own or would we inevitably drift apart? 

“We’ll hang out soon, okay?” I promised her as I held her close to my body. Jill was my best friend, I couldn’t imagine my life without her and I knew she felt the same way about me. Come hell or high water, we would make it work.

Chapter Text

I sighed as I slowly made my way back to my apartment with my groceries. It wasn’t much… I mostly went out for more alcohol, I’d run out again since I’d been drinking probably too much lately. At least that’s what everyone else said. I said “fuck ‘em” and kept drinking as I wanted. Because I wasn’t drinking myself into the ground, not yet anyway- I still needed my mind so I couldn’t do that. 

Unlocking the front door, I slipped inside before shutting and locking the door again behind me. I walked into the kitchen to set down my bags before I froze as I finally caught onto the subtle change in the atmosphere of the place. I must be off my game for it to have taken this long for me to notice but there was some kind of disturbance here. It was hard to describe, it was a familiar sense of intrusion- like there was someone nearby when there wasn’t supposed to be. The sense usually filled me with a feeling of dread or unease- of wrongness. But now… there were a few times there had been a lesser version of that feeling, like something comfortable in a familiar presence I wasn’t expecting. Like Claire trying to sneak up on me, I got that feeling of being watched but I was so familiar with my sister’s presence that it didn’t set off warning signals in my mind. That was what this felt like. There was a wrongness around me but it felt familiar and I didn’t like it. 

Part of me wanted to call out to see if either Claire or Jill had decided to drop in to check on me, they didn’t always announce their visits which was fine. Instead my fingers gripped the handle of the gun on my belt as I turned around to face the rest of the apartment. My eyes widened in stunned disbelief when they fell on the terribly mesmerizing sight of Albert Wesker standing just outside of my bedroom as if he’d been waiting there for me to come home. I completely froze up, unsure what I was even feeling. I remembered a time when seeing the man used to fill me with sweet anticipation and I would rush to be at my captain’s side. I remembered a time when seeing the man used to fill me with unadulterated rage and I would rush to fight with my enemy. I remembered a time when seeing the man used to fill me with loving warmth and I would rush to embrace my lover. Now… now all I could remember when I saw this man… was his back as he walked away from me for the last time. I was at peace with never seeing him again… at least that’s what I told myself these past months of separation. 

“Hello Dearheart.” he said in a low tone that I didn’t respond to- couldn’t. He wore a navy blue turtleneck shirt under his black blazer, far more his usual style away from the sweat pants and tshirts he was made to wear in the prison. His hair was also slicked back again, his whole formal look now seemed a little strange to me after I’d seen him with messier hair and more casual wear for what felt like a long time. His dark sunglasses were also hooked into his breast pocket to reveal his reddened eyes. I had no doubt he was probably glad to see me but he was most likely nervous about this too. After all he had to answer for what he’d done. Our imprisonment felt like a lifetime together… but it also felt like a lifetime since it’d been over. And I… why… how could he stand here before me as though he were still a welcome part of my life- and how was I supposed to respond to his sudden appearance? I somehow missed the days when I knew exactly how to respond to seeing him- even if those encounters were a risk to my life. 

I could only turn my back to him so I didn’t have to see him anymore, too pained by the deep ache he’d carved in my chest. I pressed a hand to my chest as if I could ease my heart but it beat so quickly I almost felt lightheaded and I had to use my other hand atop the counter to keep myself stable. I’d only drank what little alcohol I had left this morning before I had to sober up enough to drive to the store for more, of which I’d yet to have any. I felt far too sober to be dealing with any of this right now yet my head spun as if I’d had a full day’s worth of booze. I took a breath to steady myself and tried to go about putting away my groceries as if my unwelcome visitor wasn’t there even if I felt his heavy stare on my back the entire time like a lead weight. 

“I would rather you hit me already.” Wesker’s voice stated, a touch impatiently though there was something else there too… an almost nervous edge. I ignored him as I finished putting away my things, trying to tell myself he wasn’t there… but his presence was practically suffocating. “This silence is unnatural for you and it’s… actually quite unsettling.” I finally peeked over my shoulder at the man standing behind me as he crossed his arms defensively and continued waiting for me to respond to him in any way. But I didn’t. I looked away from him again, staring down at the counter’s edge where my fingers held so tightly they were white. Obviously I couldn’t continue pretending this wasn’t happening but I couldn’t just do this- I wasn’t ready. 

“Why are you here?” I managed to croak out. I didn’t bother asking how he’d gotten in or anything, it seemed like a stupid question to me. He was Albert Wesker, I’m sure he had his ways of finding out where I lived and if he wanted into my place nothing was gonna stop him from getting in. I didn’t really care that he’d broken in anyway, I cared that he was here at all. 

“I came back because I couldn’t stand the way you looked at me when you asked me not to go.” his words were small but sincere, his tone bordering on worry. I nodded slightly to myself though I had to put real effort into not choking up right then and there. I… I couldn’t- I couldn’t do this right now or maybe not ever! I spun around and, even shaky on my feet as I was, hurried to pass the blond intruder to reach the front door. “Chris- wait!” he called as his hand shot out to grab my arm but I yanked myself free from him and made it outside, slamming the door shut behind me. I was heaving for breath and my eyes stung with unshed tears… this wasn’t fair. Why was he doing this to me? Hadn’t he hurt me enough? But he… he came back for me? Wasn’t that a good thing? No! He shouldn’t be here! 

I couldn’t deal with this right now. I needed a drink and there was a bar not that far from here. Wesker could do whatever the fuck he wanted. I pushed off the door and left. 

… 

Once again returning to my apartment had me sighing again but with a very different feeling. Dread and worry flooded my gut but there was also an anxious hope in my heart. I stared at my front door for a long time, debating if I even wanted to go in. I was pretty tipsy now, enough to feel lighter and not as wound up but not enough to be spinning or unclear in my own mind. I made sure to be gone at the bar for a few hours though I made sure to pace my drinking because I couldn’t get drunk since I needed to keep myself together. I wasn’t even sure if Wesker was still here or not but I needed to be ready for either outcome… I wasn’t even sure which I preferred. Did I want him to still be here or did I want him to be gone? I couldn’t make up my mind so I turned my back to the door, leaning against it as I slid down into a sitting position. I grabbed my phone from my pocket but my thumb hesitated over my picture gallery app like it always did. It was too painful… but I forced it this time. 

A few pictures of Wesker displayed across the screen and my heart ached in lonely want. There were so many pictures I wanted… but I only got one more after I ruined the mood on that last day. When it was time for me to go and we finally came together at the door, I asked for just one more photo and he agreed. I leaned on him and held my phone out to capture both of us, I tried to smile but he didn’t. I hated this picture. My smile was fake and lonely, my eyes were tired and scared. Wesker’s expression was distant and his eyes were a deep red, the emotion exhausted and regretful. If only I had taken this exact photo the previous day it would have been perfect. My smile would have been wide and genuine, Wesker’s eyes would have been orange or maybe even yellow… maybe he might have even smiled too. I swiped backward to the pictures of him I’d first taken on the couch, they were all basically the same picture just a little bit different since I took them all together. A few of them were slightly blurry but I didn’t care, I wouldn’t get rid of a single one. One had managed to catch part of his surprised expression but it wasn’t very good quality. But the last one… the last one was perfect. Wesker’s head was tilted ever so slightly as he looked at me, not at the camera, with wonderful orange eyes and the faintest trace of a fond smile on his lips. 

It was this Wesker that I truly wanted, the him that was open and loving- the him that I brought out, the him that was only for me. We impacted each other so much, rubbing off certain qualities onto one another as we began to form a middle ground between us which I had thought was impossible. But we were doing it. The tender love between us was fragile but while we were together, we both put effort into reinforcing whatever cracks we could find. Even through fights and tragedy, we came out of it stronger. But in the end it was Wesker who took a sledgehammer to the fragile “us” we had built. Looking at his picture now, the one where he looked at me like I was the only thing that mattered… I still had hope that we could build another “us”. It wouldn’t be the same but maybe we could still try… but maybe not. Maybe it was too late now. 

I had plans. I’d been thinking about all this for the months since our imprisonment together and I knew what I wanted to do now. But now because of him I again had to rethink things. Of course I thought about finding him, scouring the world for him if that’s what it took to see him again. What I wanted to do with him then, I never did figure out. Did I want to punish him for leaving me? Did I want to try to work something out? There were so many possibilities but that was still assuming I even wanted to see him again. Part of me wanted to try to forget about him and ignore him even if we did meet again as he predicted. I still didn’t know what I wanted but now he took the choice away from me by placing himself so suddenly back into my life. Did I want him in my life or not? 

I slowly opened my front door and stepped in, sighing in relief when I saw that Wesker was still there sitting on the couch waiting for me to come home. Whether or not I still wanted him in my life, I guess I did at least want him to see him and talk because I was glad he had waited for me. 

“You’re still here.” I pointed out as I slowly moved to sit on the couch next to the blond intruder but as far from him as I could get. 

“And you didn’t bring the authorities back with you.” he countered and I slowly shook my head in confirmation that I wasn’t planning on turning him over to the authorities. Honestly it hadn’t crossed my mind and even now that it was in my head, I still knew I wouldn’t do that. Wesker seemed to ease at that, leaning back into the couch and crossing one leg over the other though he didn’t say anything else and neither did I. A tense and awkward silence filled the room but neither of us knew where to begin. We both simply stared at the green mug that had been sitting on the coffee table for far too long. I thought about maybe bringing it up, telling him whatever gesture he meant it as wasn’t appreciated, but I still wasn’t quite sure how I truly felt about it. “I heard you left the BSAA. I’m glad you finally realized you’re far too good for such a negligent organization.” he told me and I recognized it as his attempt at some reconnection over a topic he had been able to comfort me through before but it didn’t work how he probably wanted it to. He couldn’t say anything about the BSAA treating me poorly when what he did was worse. I gave him a long disappointed look that made him turn away as he clasped his hands together over his knees, his thumbs rolling over each other in nervousness. “I see your wrist has healed.” he tried again though more hesitantly now. 

“You don’t get to act all casual with me now. You left Wesker.” I told him and he sighed deeply at the reminder. 

“If you truly want me gone, I’ll leave and I won’t come back.” he promised and I had to think about that, lowering my head to stare at the floor as I tried and failed to sort my feelings. I must have spaced out again because I was next aware of Wesker getting up to leave, probably trying to be respectful of my choice when I never answered him. He was patient so he must have given me a while to give my answer on whether or not I wanted him here before he decided I wasn’t going to. I still wasn’t sure how I felt about him being here but I felt a cold panic over the thought that he was leaving me again so clearly I didn’t want him gone. 

“Wesker.” I called to stop him from going and he eagerly halted his steps to look back at me. Clearly he didn’t want to leave this time either. “Sit down.” I instructed and he gladly obeyed with relief in his exposed red eyes. “Why are you here?” I repeated and knew he would understand I wanted a different answer than I had gotten before. 

“After I heard you were no longer an agent, I… I began thinking that perhaps we could start anew somewhere.” he answered earnestly, slowly returning his gaze to me so I could tell that he was being serious. 

“Start new? Together?” I asked in something like shock that he could so easily suggest something so bold after what he did to me. 

“Together.” he confirmed even after seeing my not so great reaction to it when he said it the first time. 

“You can’t be serious.” I snapped at him. “Do you have any idea how much you hurt me when you left? You ruined everything and now you think I’m just going to fall into your arms because you came back?” heat rose in my chest at the audacity he had to think he could just come back into my life and sweep me off my feet like this was some fucking romance novel. 

“I won’t make excuses Chris, we both know I left for selfish reasons.” he spoke with regret in his voice. 

“That’s an understatement.” I growled at him, my chest alight with a tense hatred not unlike the one I used to feel when looking at my traitorous former captain. “You left because you’re selfish and you came back because you’re selfish- do you have any idea how fucking cruel this is?” I shouted as I stood up, turning my body to tower over the other man as I lectured him. “Do you have any idea how much I was willing to sacrifice just to be with you? I actually thought about running away with you Wesker- I really considered it!” his reddened eyes stared up at me with genuine surprise. “But you weren’t willing to give anything to be with me which is why you left me!” at that his gaze fell from mine, averting in something akin to shame- if the prick was even capable of such a thing. “You being here now just proves that you still aren’t!” I continued to yell at him though my body itched for a more relieving vent to all this pent up aggression. 

“That’s not true- I came back for you because I’m willing now.” Wesker dared to correct me and the audacity of his claim had me bending to slam my fist down onto the coffee table and point an accusing finger at the blond. 

“No you’re not!” 

“I would turn myself back into the BSAA and remain in that prison for as long as you wanted me there if that’s what it took to be with you.” he raised his voice now too as he pulled himself to his feet, forcing me to stand straight again not to allow him to use his full height over me. His action pushed me into more action and suddenly the mug he’d bought for me was in my hand and raised as if to hit him with it. Smashing his “gift” back in his face, how cruelly poetic. But my resolve wavered, my arm shaking with the effort to do it as if the mug weighed far more than it should as a way of asking me not to. Looking into his pitying red eyes I knew he would let me do it too if he thought it would make me feel better… but it wouldn’t. It was all too little too late. Could all this even be fixed? Were we truly beyond salvaging? With a frustrated shout, I slammed the mug back onto the coffee table where I’d picked it up from. 

“You specifically waited to come back until you knew I wasn’t an agent anymore which means I wouldn’t get to see you if you did that.” I informed the blond man as I turned my back to him and tried to shake out the tension from my clenched fists. “God you’re such a fucking liar…” I muttered with a tone that reverberated sadness even through the anger. I wasn’t anywhere near calming down but my fingers rubbed into my temples as I now regretted the alcohol in my system for how it added to the throbbing in my head. The tense silence between us stretched and I was at least grateful he had the decency not to try to argue my point, knowing he was caught. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on clearing my head but I had no idea what to do- this was all too much and I could feel my nerves pulling tighter by the second. This needed to end. 

“I don’t know what you want from me Chris.” his voice was small and lost, pleading with me for direction I couldn’t give him. I didn’t know what I wanted from him either. What could he give to me now? 

“I want you to care.” my voice finally choked up, my arms crossing over myself as one hand pressed into my mouth to stifle the quiet sobs that shook my frame. That’s all I’ve ever really wanted from him, wasn’t it? I wanted that same feeling of belonging he gave me when he was my captain. He showed he cared about me all the times he lectured me to do better to avoid fault, when he checked in on me when I was injured, when he challenged my character to remind me of myself, when he played into our games to give us a little deserved fun. But now? All we did was fight. He taunted me as I chased after him- as I used everything he saw in me against him and he praised me for it. When he was my captain I believed he would take a bullet for me without hesitation, he would lay his life down if it would keep me safe. But now… I knew he loved and cared about me but he proved he didn’t care enough to stay and sacrifice any real change for me. So him coming back didn’t mean shit. He would always be a selfish bastard, how was I supposed to trust he would be there when I needed him again? 

“Chris-” 

“Leave.” the whimpered word was out of my mouth, slipping between my fingers to enter the world like a weighted command that instantly changed the course of reality itself. That single word shifted the atmosphere and I was sure the rest of the world could feel the ever expanding void in my chest as well. Tears crowded over my fingers as I waited for his reaction to my rejection but he didn’t say anything or move for a very long time as if he truly needed all of time just to process that I no longer wanted him in my life. 

“As you wish.” the hurt emotion in Wesker’s words had my pounding heart freeze. The only time he’d said such words to me was when he was acknowledging that he was handing control of the situation over to me. He left because he was selfish, he was here because he was selfish… he was leaving now not because he wanted to but because he was respecting my decision. The slow falls of each regretfully placed footstep toward the door had my mind reeling with panic. He was leaving- Wesker was leaving! I turned to watch his back as he twisted the handle to the exit and suddenly all I could see was the sight of his back in that cave as he left me screaming in so many different kinds of pain. My breath hitched now and I reached out for the man I just ordered out of my life- but I hadn’t meant it! I just needed some time to think and figure things out- I didn’t want him to leave me- not again ! 

I didn’t call his name, my voice lost in my throat as I tripped over the coffee table in my haste to stop him from making it out of the door. Everything was spinning and I wasn’t sure if it was from the fall, the alcohol, or my raging anxiety but I couldn’t focus. I could only lay there on the floor and stare up at the blurry figure standing at my front entrance with the door partially open. I saw red eyes glance down at me before turning back to the outside. It was pointless. He was leaving… again. I curled in on myself as I cried, suddenly reliving all the pain and fear I thought I shoved down from the last time I saw my lover. The front door closed. He left me and I was alone. He left me… I wasn’t enough. He left me… and it hurt . 

Shoes scraped lightly on the floor next to my head and I opened my eyes to see legs folded on the ground, my gaze moving up to see the rest of Wesker sitting closely at my side. He was looking down at me with regret and worry in his eyes. He was still here… he stayed. I sobbed harder with relief and scooted even closer to him just enough to press my forehead to his leg as I vented out all the emotion I thought I lost. And Wesker was there with me through all of it, quietly waiting for me to get it all out without speaking or touching me to risk adding to my stress. He was still here. He stayed. He was still with me. 

… … … 

My leg bounced, shaking my entire body with the jittery movement of my anxious fidgeting as I waited. I slightly turned my wrist from under my chin to check my watch again. He was always early to everything so he should have been here by now, he was dangerously close to being late. I went back to tracing the outlines of everything in my apartment with my eyes, counting each corner or curve in each item as a means of distraction. When I felt like another hour had passed I checked my watch again but it had only been three minutes- though that did officially make Wesker late. The last time he was here he had stayed with me until I calmed down and then asked him again to leave, this time clarifying that I just needed some more time before I would be ready to talk. We gave it a week and agreed he would come back to my apartment so we could properly talk about things. I checked my watch again. We agreed Monday- today, two pm- five minutes ago. He wasn’t here. 

I wasn’t sure what I was expecting but I flinched and jumped to my feet when my front door opened without a knock. Wesker stepped in and shut the door behind him, staying by the door for a moment as he seemed to listen to something outside. I wanted to ask him what it was but knew better than to make noise when he was trying to hear something. After a moment he straightened and turned his head toward me. 

“One of your neighbors had poor timing coming home as I was getting here, I was ensuring he hadn’t been following me.” he explained and I nodded in understanding. The city was full of law enforcement and BSAA operatives, if he was spotted and recognized he would have most of the city on his case. I wrung my fingers together as I tried and failed to think of something to say but the blond man in my entryway wasn’t of much help because he remained there as if unknowing if he was actually welcome here. Finally I hesitantly walked closer to him, stopping far enough that I had to reach a little to slowly pull the rectangular sunglasses away from his eyes and he allowed me to take them. I stared into his red eyes for a long moment, missing the many days when a light orange was their default around me and I often got to see them more of a yellow tone. I wondered if I would ever see such an uplifted shade in his wonderful eyes again. 

“You’re late.” I commented as I turned to make my way back to the couch. I saw him check his own watch and then shoot me a look with a raised brow. 

“I didn’t get on you for tardiness until you were at least fifteen minutes late.” he responded with a tone between lecturing and amusement. He did at least finally move away from the door to join me on the couch though on the opposite side from where I sat. “How casual am I allowed to be with you today?” he asked rather casually and I sighed. 

“Not very.” I stated and he nodded though he did relax a little since I wasn’t already being hard toward him. 

“Then I will refrain from asking if you’ve eaten.” the blond declared as he crossed one leg over the other and clasped his hands over his knees, facing forward to get comfortable. I scoffed with slight humor as I shook my head at his loophole, asking by claiming he wasn’t asking. 

“I have.” I answered regardless. He knew me well enough to know that I wasn’t taking care of myself after what happened, knew the depression he sent me into. Even if he didn’t, it was obvious that I’d lost some weight since I hadn’t been eating as much as I should be or keeping up with my workout routine like I was supposed to in order to maintain my muscle mass. I wasn’t out of shape by any means but I was notably thinner than I had been before all this went down. “You know…” I started with a sigh as I steeled myself to get this going. “I always knew you would leave. It was the biggest barrier keeping me from getting with you sooner while we were locked up, I was so scared of this pain I knew you’d put me through.” I leaned forward to grab the boulder coffee mug from the table where it lived since I’d received it. “These feelings I have for you have always-” 

“ Have ? Current?” he questioned as he suddenly sat a little straighter, the shocked and hopeful tone in his voice was almost cute. But if I was going to speak first, the least he could do was listen so I gave him an impatiently tired look which got him to slouch back into the couch cushions. “Apologies, do continue.” he gestured vaguely ahead of us as if motioning to the words yet spoken. 

“These feelings have always been hard for one reason or another so I’ve always denied them but eventually I couldn’t resist anymore. With Claire and Jill’s help, I thought that the happiness we could have- even if it was just temporary, would be worth the loss when you left.” I left that there as I thought over the happy memories I still cherished from our time together even if there was a cold residue over them now. 

“Was it?” his voice carried a suspended worry and I found myself relieved that he was still lowering his guard with me even though we were in this tense state of doubt. My thumb rubbed a familiar line over the lettering of the mug as a small smile touched my lips and I slowly nodded. 

“I wouldn’t trade our time together for anything.” I stated with a sad fondness but it was the truth. If I was offered to never feel heartache over Wesker again but it meant I would lose all the happy feelings he gave me too, I wouldn’t accept. From the corner of my eye I saw that faint relieved smile of Wesker’s grace his face and turned to see it better, pleasantly surprised to see his eyes shift to a subtly lighter red. “But that doesn’t mean we can just go back to that because while you didn’t fully burn down the bridge between us, you still set fire to it and there’s a lot of damage.” and then his eyes were a deeper red than before. 

“I understand that Chris.” he closed his eyes as he took a deep breath before opening them again to look at me with the most sincere expression he had the capability of showing. “And I want to do whatever I can to mend that damage. I will right what I did to you, no matter how long it takes or what sacrifices I have to make.” he hesitantly moved his hand closer to me, turning his palm up in offering but I didn’t take it. Instead I looked down at the mug in my hands as if it suddenly commanded my rapt attention. My old captain took the hint and quickly took his hand back, neither of us saying anything about the failed attempt to get closer again. “I will admit I knew full well that turning myself back over to the BSAA was no longer a viable way to remain together but I made that offer with the purest of intentions.” I almost wanted to laugh at that, not because I thought he was lying but simply because the very concept of “pure” never really suited him. “I’m sure we could have worked out some other arrangement or the like. I only meant to express that I’m willing to give up my freedom in a more permanent way if it means staying with you. Even if it’s not my imprisonment you seek now, I’m willing to do whatever it takes to reach a point of forgiveness between us.” 

“Your pretty words don’t hold much value Wesker, you broke the last promise you made me.” I pointed out, my fingers clutching over the mug that felt like it presented that false promise he made not to leave. 

“Actions speak louder than words.” he muttered as if to remind himself before he reached into his pocket to pull out a small folded piece of paper. “You were right that I planned to go to Alex after turning on everyone else that I knew. I’m hunted by everyone on all sides now, Alex is the last connection I have and her island base is the last place of safety for me until I can establish myself elsewhere.” he placed the paper on the cushion between us, unfolded and turned so the numbers on it were facing me. “Those are the coordinates.” he tapped the paper to indicate the neat numbers arranged on it and I stared at it intensely. “Whatever you decide to do, I will not fight it. I know it isn’t much to prove what I’m willing to give for you but I hope it’s a start.” I stared at the paper, going over each number in my head over and over again until I would have it memorized. The possibilities he was placing into my hands were endless. Every single person even slightly involved with either side of bioterrorism would kill for these coordinates that housed Albert Wesker’s very last sanctuary. And I was now in possession of them even though he still had no idea where we stood or what I would do with them. I could do nothing and still deny him any part in my life. I could send every government organization after him and ruin both him and Alex Wesker for good. I could send every jilted person he just handed over to the authorities and let them tear him limb from limb. I could do whatever I wanted- I now decided Wesker’s fate. It was certainly a start to proving he was willing to make sacrifices for me. 

“I do care about you Chris.” the older man spoke with seriousness which drew my eyes back to his. “A great deal.” he clearly added with deep meaning in each word. “For some time I grew to believe I could be content in that prison if you would be willing to visit me often. But when you told me the BSAA destroyed my phone, my mind went back to plans I’d already made and how much more I could do.” he explained what I already pieced together. “I’m so accustomed to thinking only for myself that it will take some getting used to for me to think first of you. It was being away from you that made me realize how much I’m missing without you near and I truly regret leaving as I did. I came back because I’m willing to try to make that adjustment so as not to repeat that mistake.” he promised and though the betrayal of his promises was still fresh in my mind, I wanted to believe him. He spoke with such regret and worry, his eyes watching me carefully for any sign of rejection- and there was fear there too. It was like the whole foundation of his person hinged on what I said next. If I turned him away now, would he crumble as I had? There was a spiteful part of me that wanted to test that- to hurt him like he hurt me. But I was so tired of all the games between us, I wanted something to be a simple yes or no for once even if I was the one that had to give it. I did want him back but it would take time because he had to earn it. 

“Alright.” I accepted as I took the piece of paper and slipped it into the empty coffee mug as if putting one promise into another. “I’m willing to keep talking but I can’t promise we’ll get back to where we were.” his entire demeanor shifted ever so slightly but I caught every bit of it- his posture straightened with a quick inhale as if life had been sucked back into his lungs, his eyes opened a little wider as they lightened to a deep orange, and a small smile of relief and hope tugged the corners of his mouth up. He didn’t even try to hide any of it from me, he was willing to let me see the emotion I stirred in him. It all made my heart beat just a little faster at the very missed sweet sight of his obvious love for me. 

“That’s all I ask and perhaps it’s more than I deserve.” he readily admitted and I could only nod my agreement because that was absolutely right yet I was still willing to try. Even after everything he’s done, I was still giving him more of me to take… but this would be the last time. If he turned on me again… I would kill him. 

… … … 

The movie wasn’t very good. It was some new release that was streaming, I only put it on for something to do. Wesker was over, a little unexpectedly since it had only been a few days since his last visit. I was irritated over it because I was expecting to leave town tomorrow but now I might have to delay my trip. I made my annoyance very known to the other man though I wouldn’t explain why. He didn’t need to know yet. At least he accepted that pretty well and didn’t try to pry any information from me that I wasn’t willing to give. We talked for a little while, a bit casually which he started to tease until I shot him a warning look to remind him that he was still treading on thin ice. Neither of us had much to say but it was clear we both wanted to see each other so we put on a movie as if this was a normal activity for us to do. I’m sure I wasn’t the only one who was bored and that was confirmed when I finally turned the tv off halfway through the movie and Wesker seemed relieved rather than disappointed. 

“You’ve been coming by more often lately.” I pointed out as I rotated on the couch to look at the blond man more fully. “The city is filled with BSAA agents and you know Claire and Jill come through my place unannounced so why are you taking such frequent risks?” the other man watched me, waiting for some continuation or punchline that wasn’t coming. 

“Are you simply fishing for reassurances?” he finally questioned when he realized that I wasn’t going to finish what he thought was an incomplete pondering. I gave him an impatient glance that he rolled his eyes at but indulged me. “Because I want to see you.” he stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world and I was an idiot for even asking. “You’re worth the risk of being discovered.” I didn’t mean to but I smiled at him, swaying a little with the flutter in my chest. Suddenly his demeanor changed, leaning forward to wring his fingers together over his knees as his expression fell and his eyes darkened. “I really have missed you Chris.” he spoke with a sadness that shook my resolve not to reach out and hold his hand but I refrained. “Nothing makes me regret leaving more than waking up without you.” he wouldn’t meet my eye as he made that declaration but I understood. I nodded along even if he didn’t see it because I felt that on such a deep level it hurt all over again. I already knew he didn’t like sleeping but knowing he got to wake up with me in bed with him made going to sleep worth it. 

“For me it’s less about waking up alone and more about going to bed alone. I’ve never slept easier than I did with you.” I admitted which drew red eyes onto me. We stared at each other with sadness and longing for a long time before he cautiously moved his hand onto the couch cushion between us but went no farther. My gaze shifted from his eyes to his hand and back. I sucked in a slow breath before I placed my hand on the middle cushion and inched my fingers closer to the blond’s but stopped just short of touching him. I wanted to… but I couldn’t yet. There was still too much pain and heartache, I wasn’t ready to restart just yet, I needed a little more time. Even though I didn’t allow contact yet, I knew he recognized this was progress because his eyes shifted to a lighter color which I took comfort in. I wanted so badly to reach out and touch him- hold him and have him hold me for reassurance that we were okay and that we could protect each other from the rest of the world. That’s when I realized that’s what I really wanted… me and him against the world. “I’ve missed you too Wesker and I’m glad you came back.” I told him and loved the way the shade of his eyes lightened again to an orange as he gifted me a warm smile. 

“I’m glad you chose to give me another chance.” he returned and now I smiled back at him, very briefly sliding my fingers over his. The soft touch drew orange eyes and I noticed the relief that graced the blond’s smile and the dusting of pink on his cheeks which brought heat to my own face. I took my hand back and stood up to walk to the window, peeking out of the closed curtains for something to distract myself with. 

“It’s getting late.” I pointed out as I looked over the darkening horizon. “When are you leaving?” I really enjoyed the tenderness of the moment we just shared but I needed to break that for now because I wasn’t ready for that to be taken any further. I heard the other man sigh with heavy disappointment over the thought of leaving. 

“I can delay another hour or two.” he answered with a casual tone but I knew he was actually saying he should leave soon but was unwilling to part with me yet. My heart thumped harder in my chest with the warmth spreading through my body and I smiled widely while he couldn’t see it. Once I felt a little more calm from that I turned back to him with an indifferent expression. 

“It is pretty late.” I stated again as if I hadn’t already pointed that out but the repeat made Wesker raise a questioning brow at me. “Maybe you should stay the night.” I suggested with a tone more shy than I attempted to let out but Wesker didn’t tease me about it, instead his eyes widened even as a smile grew on his lips. He stood from the couch, his eyes now a more neutral shade of orange close to what had once been his default around me. 

“I will have to make a quick call but I see no harm in delaying my departure until tomorrow.” his phone was already in hand though his eyes- his wonderfully pleased expression didn’t leave me as if he couldn’t get enough of the sight of me. The feeling was mutual and we continued to stare at each other as he made his call, delaying a private flight he was expected to be on to return to the island he was staying at. I smiled at him as he did this, arranging a new time late tomorrow for him to be a few towns over where he would meet the pilot. Once he hung up his features held something like hesitance as he opened his mouth to speak again. “I have somewhere I need to be tomorrow night but I could see about postponing that as well.” he told me and while I was happy he was so willing to cancel his own plans just to spend more time with me, one night was enough for now. 

“Don’t push it.” I told him though not with malice, even a bit of a teasing lecture had touched my tone. He didn’t take any offense, probably already knowing he was toeing the line and hadn’t expected to be able to cross it yet. 

“I’ll be sleeping here then, yes?” he asked with a short gesture to the couch. My eyes flicked to the piece of furniture as I thought about it- I mean, yes, he was. But I would be lying if I said I didn’t want to let him into bed with me… I really did miss sleeping next to him because I wasn’t lying when I said I slept better with him nearby. I was hoping at least having him in the apartment would put me at enough ease to get some genuine sleep tonight. I met his eye again as I nodded so he returned it in understanding, not pushing for more than I was ready to give him. 

“ Will you be sleeping?” I wondered aloud and he smirked knowingly but shook his head. 

“I have some work I can get done while you rest.” he assured me so I nodded as I inched toward my room. 

“I’ll see you in the morning then.” the way the words came out of my mouth made it more of a question as I opened my bedroom door, pausing as I watched him and waited for confirmation. 

“I’ll be here.” he promised and I trusted him so I went to bed. 

… 

I stirred a bit from my fitful sleep, aware my mind had grown dark with shadows lurking in every corner. But there was a comforting presence sitting in a chair near my bed that shushed me gently until my mind eased again. I didn’t feel alarmed by the person that was intruding in my room and after a moment my bleary eyes blinked clear enough to see it was Wesker. He had his phone in one hand like he had only put it down for a moment to calm me from my fitful stirring and he was looking at me with something akin to contentment. It was as if he was enjoying being allowed close enough to me to once again be my stabilization against insomnia and nightmares alike. And I appreciated him being there for me more than anything because he was here with me- still here. He didn’t leave me. 

… 

“Chris- Chris get up!” Wesker’s urgent whispered shouts were alarming enough not only to immediately wake me up but to get me out of bed as well, ready to take on whatever danger was afoot. However the blanket caught my leg and in my hurry to spring to my feet, momentum carried me down toward the floor. That is, if a pair of hands didn’t shoot out to prevent my tumble. The warmth of Wesker’s hands leaked into my skin and spread through my body like a fast moving tidal wave and my nerves tingled in delight at the long missed sensation. It’d been months now since we last touched- even when he’d grabbed my arm that first encounter I had been wearing a jacket and he had been wearing gloves. But now with his ungloved fingers pressing firmly against my bare shoulders to keep me steady, it was hard to imagine I could have ever forgotten the feeling of them. I stared up into his reddened eyes as my face began to warm, so lost in the longed for feeling of him that I momentarily forgot whatever had him worked up. But then he hastily removed his hands from my person as if worried he had broken a rule and didn’t want me to be upset over it. “Jill’s here.” he informed me and my eyes widened in panic. 

“Chris?” my best friend’s voice called- getting nearer to my closed bedroom door as she searched for me. I rushed past Wesker to the door, cracking it open just enough for me to slip out of my room and slam it shut behind me. Jill had been close enough to be reaching for the doorknob and had to take a quick step back to avoid me crashing into her. She was taken by surprise by my sudden appearance and let out an exclamation cursing as she settled herself. “Geez Chris, you could have… are you okay?” she questioned worriedly as she took in my rattled expression. I wondered momentarily what she thought was happening right now since I hadn’t answered her calling to me, she might have heard the commotion of me nearly tripping over my blanket, I threw myself out of my room and slammed the door shut, I was only in my boxers and was probably a mess otherwise, and my face was warmer now in embarrassment. Though if the tables were reversed… I knew where my mind would go. 

“Um… yeah, yeah. But now’s not really a good time.” I told her with a sheepish grin I hoped passed for something that didn’t quite reveal the full extent of my nervousness. She seemed confused and a little worried as her eyes flicked between me and my bedroom door. I waited only a moment before sighing and deciding to play into the easy answer as to what was happening. “I have… company .” I told her and watched her expression suddenly change to one of understanding and then to shock. 

“Oh… oh !” she backed up to give me a little space as she realized what I implied she was intruding on. “Sorry! I… I didn’t know you were seeing anyone.” there was still surprise in her tone but also a bit of hurt that she thought I hadn’t told her something like this. We’d been keeping in good enough contact but maybe that was denial speaking… it had been a while since we last talked. 

“We’re not really seeing each other.” I spoke reluctantly as more blood came into my cheeks. I’d rather she think this was just a hookup or something, that way she couldn’t try to get me to let her meet them since that was impossible. 

“Okay- I’m going.” she declared as she quickly turned herself around to head out but she stopped at the door. “Chris I’m…” she seemed to struggle with what she wanted to say but I wished she’d just hurry and go. “I’m proud of you.” she finally stated with a hopeful smile that gave me pause. “I was starting to worry you would never move on.” I froze up for a moment as I was faced with her ill placed pride. I had to turn away, my guilt not allowing me to look at my best friend as I deceived her while she’s done nothing but try to help me. Deep down I knew I would never be over Wesker, before when I thought I had been I was only deluding myself. Now I was lying to Jill for him yet again and I couldn’t take the look she was giving me because I didn’t deserve her praise. 

“Thanks.” was all I could bring myself to say but she caught the negative emotion plastered all over me and took a step back toward me in worry. “I’m trying.” I stated with the same sorrow and understanding once again crossed her features mixed with pity. She probably took that to mean this hook up was part of my attempt to get over Wesker rather than a sign I was already over him. She looked like she had more she wanted to say but her eyes shifted again to the bedroom door behind me then back to me. 

“We’ll talk later, okay?” she was being respectful and not pressing me while I had company which I was grateful for. She waited for me to give her a pathetic excuse for an attempted smile and a nod before she finally left. After hearing her click the lock on the front door into position with her key, I counted to sixty before moving to the window to watch her car pull out of the parking lot. Only then did I release the tragic sigh from my lungs as I plopped myself onto the couch and ran my hands down my face. 

“She’s gone.” I called to let the source of my guilt know that it was safe for him to come out. I heard my bedroom door open behind me before Wesker slowly joined me on the couch. We sat in silence, his fingers rubbing idly into his thighs as he either waited for my reaction to what just happened or tried to think of something to say about it himself. I was upset over having to lie to Jill like that but I didn’t regret doing it. I finally raised my head to look at Wesker, relieved that he was still here and let me handle the situation rather than taking off to save himself. Though really I couldn’t imagine him slipping out my window as if avoiding my parents catching him in my room. The mental image of that had me in a sudden fit of laughter. The older man next to me gave me a strange look at first but then an amused smirk came to his face. “What are we, teenagers and you snuck over?” I blurted out to share the joke with him, still laughing. Now understanding what I found so funny, Wesker actually laughed with me which kept me going a little longer. 

“I think the consequences of getting caught would be much more severe than if that were the case.” the other responded to humor me and I shrugged. 

“I don’t know about that, if I ever caught Claire hiding a guy in her room I’m pretty sure he’d have to leave in a body bag.” we both knew I was exaggerating but that was the point- I was joking with him, we were laughing together. I was slowly becoming more and more comfortable with getting so close to Wesker again. I was okay with it, the fear was fading and it felt so good. 

… … … 

I trudged back to my apartment, glad to finally be back in town after running my… errands. This city housed a major branch headquarters of the BSAA which meant the surrounding cities were too “clean” so I had to do some traveling and had been gone for nearly two weeks. Another reason I had to get away from here was so no one I knew would find out about it and get suspicious of my actions. Upon entering my apartment, I went straight to the kitchen to get a cold water bottle from the fridge but I paused when I saw the envelope on the front, held in place by a magnet. It had my name on it in a familiar handwriting and I felt my chest tighten with anticipation. Wesker had been here. 

“ I waited for most of the day but when it was clear you weren’t going to return tonight I had to leave. I made dinner for the two of us, your portion is in the fridge for when you return. It seems I’ve missed you this time but I will try to come by again next week and we will hopefully have better luck. ” 

I smiled at the paper before setting it down and opening the fridge to find the prepared meal waiting for me. I was disappointed we missed each other too but this was a very welcomed surprise since I had a long trip and I hadn’t found time to eat today. Now I didn’t have to cook because of Wesker’s gift to me which he dated as being almost two nights ago but it was still fine to eat. I heated up the ready meal and sat at the dining table to enjoy the delicious present as I went over my new supply list. It was almost time. 

With nothing better to do, I toyed with Wesker’s note to me again and nearly choked on my food when I turned it over to see a phone number written on the back. I coughed and made sure my throat was clear before drawing in a long breath to steady myself. There was no way this was Wesker’s cell phone number, right? It was risking enough for him to leave a note that someone- most likely Jill could recognize his handwriting from. To leave a direct communication line… he really didn’t care if he got caught or worse as long as it meant he got to talk to me, did he? My fingers traced the numbers on the paper contemplatively for only a few minutes before I retrieved my own phone to dial the number. If Wesker had a better sense of humor I would expect the person on the other end to be a pizza shop employee- I’d done that a few times to people in my youth and still found it funny. But no, the voice that answered after a few quick rings was pleasant and familiar. 

“Hello Chris.” my old captain sounded happy and I chuckled softly to myself that he already knew it was me because of course he did. He just left his number so he was expecting to hear from me and I doubted he had many contacts anymore so an unknown number suddenly calling him had to be me. That is, if he didn’t already know my phone number and had just been waiting for the right time to give me his and wait for me to allow this casualty between us. He did have access to my phone back in the prison and I hadn’t changed my number since. 

“Thanks for the food.” I told him before I took another bite of it. 

“Did you just return home?” he questioned, seeming a little surprised. 

“Yeah, I’ve been out of town for a while.” I explained. “Didn’t think to leave you a note.” 

“It’s quite alright.” he dismissed though I knew it was actually a problem for him since he currently lived far away on an island so coming to visit me wasn’t a small task. “Since you’re comfortable with phone calls now, we can plan visits so that we’re guaranteed to see one another.” 

“I like the sound of that.” I responded with a small smile even as I actively reminded myself not to call him all the time just for little things like saying good morning or good night. 

“What had you out of town?” he asked curiously and my smile turned into a menacing little smirk. 

“Nothing you need to worry about yet.” I told him which drew a long silence from the older man that I had to hold my breath not to laugh over. 

“Is it something involving the base?” 

“Might be.” I shrugged even though he couldn’t see it. “Just because you said you wouldn’t fight it doesn’t mean I have to tell you anything I may or may not be planning.” 

“No, it doesn’t.” he agreed though I could tell he wanted to argue and press for more information since he didn’t like being kept in the dark. But that was the point in revealing that I was up to something without actually telling him what it was. I wanted him to squirm and think about it all the while he knew he couldn’t pester an answer from me and there was no one else that could tell him behind my back. When we first started meeting up again I didn’t want to play any games because I was tired of them but now that I was getting more confident in my new footing with him, I not only wanted to play but I wanted to be on top. 

“You know, there’s actually a bit of information I’ve been trying to get my hands on that would help me out a bunch. That is, if you’re willing to sacrifice that for me.” I didn’t hide the taunting edge that had entered my tone and he didn’t point it out or shy away from it. 

“Of course, anything for you.” my predatory grin grew at his response. With his help, I might be able to push up my plans. 

… … … 

“This was fun- we should do it again soon!” Claire called happily as we all returned to my apartment after a long day out. I called both my sister and my best friend to my place while I knew they would both have time to see me. I made sure to apologize for the way I shut them out while I was grieving but assured them I was okay now. And because they were so great and patient with me, I wanted to treat them both to everything they tried getting me out to do with them. They were both hesitant and suspicious of the way I pressed for time spent as if this might be my last time with them but I promised it wasn’t. I promised I just realized how much I missed them during my self imposed isolation and I wanted to have a big day with both of them to start fresh- new beginnings style. I guess that made me a liar too. I wasn’t sure how much they believed my vows of trying harder to be my usual self and being more open with them and people in general again after today, my reset. But they went along with it even if they told themselves and each other that they would keep an eye on whatever was going on with me. I only needed them to play along on this one day… just one day. Everything was changing then. 

“Hell yeah!” I boisterously agreed. “Not like my schedule’s gonna fill up anytime soon so we can hang out like this whenever you want.” I smiled at my sister and she returned it readily, the worry from this morning lessened after the fun day we had. 

“Well my schedule is still in constant flux so I’ll try to make what time I can but I might have to dip at a moment’s notice.” Jill informed us regretfully but I still turned my smile to her as I shrugged. 

“I know how it is and I’m not gonna take offense if you’re called away. But watch your back out there so you can always come back.” I hoped that wasn’t too on the nose but she didn’t react to it in any way that indicated she took it as I meant it. Saying goodbye without letting them know that’s what I was doing was hard but I picked my words and actions carefully. It was fine if they suspected something so long as they didn’t get worried enough to insist on staying the night. 

“I can take care of myself even without you watching my six.” she teased and I accidentally let my smile falter. I know she didn’t mean that as a jab but I still felt like I was being accused of leaving all the fighting to her. If she did get hurt on the field because I wasn’t there fighting with her so we could protect each other, would she blame me? Certainly not… but there would always be a part of me that would blame myself. Wesker had been right when he said I would never be able to settle down while others were struggling and dying when I could have done more to help. But that’s exactly why I was doing what I was. I was going to help so many more people than I could as a BSAA operative- I was going to fight . “I know we were talking about having drinks but I have an early shift tomorrow and can’t stay.” the blonde woman said with a disappointed pout. 

“Damn…” I muttered as if I was upset by that but I already knew- had been counting on it. I didn’t want them to stay but I couldn’t kick them out after making the declarations that I had, I needed them to be the ones to leave on their own. 

“But we’ll do something like this again soon, okay?” she had stayed by the front door since she knew she’d have to leave upon getting back so I moved to hug her before she left. If she worried over my refusal to let her go when she started to release me, she didn’t say anything about it as she returned her arms around me and waited for me to pull away first. 

“Text me when you might be able to hang out again.” I told her and she nodded. 

“I will. See you later.” 

“Bye.” my voice lowered a little with sadness as I waved, watching as she opened the door and left. I wondered if I would see her again- and if I did, what kind of expression would she have? 

“I had some plans with a few coworkers tomorrow but I can cancel.” Claire assured with a pitying expression that I had wanted to spend more time together but they both needed to go. I appreciated her willingness to cancel with her friends and stay with me longer when she thought I needed it, but I couldn’t have her staying tonight as I had led her to believe I wanted. 

“No, it’s fine.” I smiled at her again to show that I didn’t mind and was okay with her leaving. “Go spend time with your friends, we can hang out again some other time.” she pressed her lips into a thin line as she looked me over so I laughed and held my hands up in surrender. “Alright you caught me, I’m a little disappointed but seriously I’m fine.” I let my smile finally drop as I sighed and rubbed the back of my neck. “Actually I’m a little relieved.” I admitted. “While today was really fun, it was kind of a lot for my first real venture into getting back into life, you know? So maybe it is actually better that I just go to bed or something now.” a worried look crossed my sister’s face but she put on a smile and nodded her understanding. 

She stepped closer to me to wordlessly give me a hug that I returned, squeezing her gently in my arms as I soaked in as much of her as I could… while I could. She didn’t try to move away from me, allowing all the time I needed to just hold her. Realization had started to set in with Jill but now… with my sister… it was really hitting me. This very well might be the last time I see Claire- my precious little sister. We went to hell and back for each other, risked our lives, and had each other’s backs through absolutely everything in our lives. I wondered if she would come after me. I hoped she didn’t, I hoped she listened to me just this once and went on with her life. I held her even tighter to me, already missing her… I would miss her the most. But this had to be done- someone had to do it and no one else was so I was stepping up to the plate. 

“I love you so much Claire.” I whispered into her shoulder as I turned my face down to hide away from the wetness in my eyes. 

“I love you too Chris. Always.” she swore as her hands rubbed soothingly up and down my back. “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay?” the redhead asked so I shook my head as I finally pulled away from her, attempting to give a smile. 

“No, I’ll be okay, I think I’m just tired- probably underestimated how long of a day it’s been.” I excused but she didn’t seem convinced- rightly so, and gave me a skeptical and worried look. “Come on Claire, I am tired, we can talk about it tomorrow if you’re still worried.” 

“Okay.” she finally relented so I internally celebrated that I successfully navigated my way through my own near fuck up. She hugged me again which I wouldn’t even think to oppose. “I’ll call you tomorrow.” she declared as casually as she could as she readied to leave. 

“Bye Claire.” I called back, waving even as the door shut behind her. I stood there for a long time, staring sadly at the door as doubts filled my mind. I didn’t have to do this… I could still cancel everything and not go. But I decided this even before Wesker came back into my life. This was the change I wanted- the change the world needed. This was how I was going to fight in this war. So I went back into my room to finish the last of my packing. I only had a few more hours before I needed to leave. 

There was a letter that still needed writing. 

… … … 

I waited in the darkness of the room, avoiding my nervousness and trying to focus on the excitement that invaded my veins ever since I stepped foot on the supply ship to the island. I left all my things, personal and the armory I’d been accumulating, in a safe storage location to be retrieved tomorrow. I allowed Wesker to know I was sending a surprise to him but I influenced him to believe it was some kind of hit team to at least rough him up, whether I would be present to watch was up for him to fret over. But I came alone decked out in black tactical gear with only a few weapons in case I needed them. His information about the supply schedule, the carrier ship, and the working rotations for everyone stationed here proved life saving since it made my trip all the way to his cozy bedroom practically a cakewalk. Before I finally decided to just ask him for help with the planning, I was expecting this to be difficult. 

I kept him waiting of course, never striking when we were talking about it that way he couldn’t expect it. It’d been a while since we’d discussed anything related and he visited just the other day before I had Claire and Jill over. It was the perfect time so now I waited for him to return from wherever he was. He kept me waiting too, I wasn’t sure what he was doing but I’d been waiting for nearly three hours of tense listening to every sound around me. I guess it made sense he wouldn’t get much use of his bedroom though with me here that was likely to change. Perhaps I could lure him back to his room without revealing that I was here or that anything was amiss. I doubted he talked to me out in the open with others nearby so maybe if I could get him to call me, he’d return here for some privacy. 

Chris: I’m bored
Chris: Got nothing to do tonight 

I only waited a moment before he replied to my innocent and honestly familiar text since getting bored without a job was normal for me now. 

Wesker: Am I expected to entertain you again?
Chris: You haven’t let me down yet
Wesker: Tell me what you want from me and I’ll do it.
Chris: Can you talk to me until I fall asleep
Wesker: Another rough night?
Chris: What night isn’t rough??
Wesker: The ones I ease you through. 

I had to stifle a chuckle over his rightly placed confidence in his ability to help me sleep. He had a reassuring presence that allowed me to sleep in utter safety both from external threat and internal. Once I had known that comfort, it was hard to function without it. 

Chris: But you’re not here to ease me through it and the calls aren’t really enough anymore
Wesker: Is that an accusation or a complaint? 

I was glad he was comfortable now to just ask rather than jump to his own conclusions. If it was an accusation, I was angry and blamed him for not being with me. If it was a complaint, I was sad and wanted to change that. 

Chris: Complaint
Chris: I miss you 

I was expecting another fast reply but a few minutes went by with nothing. Then he called me. My phone was on silent so it didn’t ring but I still hastily answered as if I would be caught here because of it. 

“Hey.” I muttered quietly as if I was tired but really I just didn’t want to be overheard. I was happy he was so eager to talk to me that he called before he was back in his room though I had no doubt he was on his way here right now. 

“I can arrange to come see you as soon as possible if you’d like.” I heard his voice from outside and tensed in excited anticipation. His door opened and he stepped in but he didn’t turn on the overhead light as he turned to his desk which put his back to me. There was enough ambient lighting around the room and the moonlight coming in through the window was enough to at least see by. “We can cook whatever you’re in the mood for and perhaps I can stay over again to ensure you get a good night’s rest.” he offered since it had become more usual for me to allow him to stay the night every few visits. Neither of us ever brought up the fact that he sat up in my room to watch over me every time, we both needed the comfort in that closeness and to speak of it would be to break it. I watched him for just a moment as he set a few things down on the surface of his desk, unloading his pockets and tossing off his sunglasses. As much as I wanted to just watch him while he was unaware, I didn’t want him to turn around and notice me before I had the chance to surprise him first. 

“I would like that.” I called casually and smirked at the way he halted what he was doing before he straightened but didn’t turn around as he processed what my being here might mean for him. 

“Clever.” he softly complimented my luring him here. “Is this an accusation or a complaint?” he asked, still holding his phone to his ear as if he needed to be told to put it down. I liked his repeated question, it held the same meaning even though this was a very different situation. 

“Both.” I answered helpfully as I finally moved my phone away from my head to return to my pocket. “Though it’s more one than the other.” I stated as I stepped a little closer to him and raised my gun to aim at his head. “Do you have a guess which?” he slowly lowered his arm to drop his phone onto his desk before turning to face me. If I was here to accuse him of all the shit he’s done, I was here for violence. If I was here to complain about the distance between us, I was here for reconnection. 

“I have a hope.” he answered as he showed me his orange eyes that I smiled at, knowing that he was happy to see me even if I was here to hurt him. Of course he hoped I was here to reconnect but he also knew I was serious in my desire to hurt him which had grown outside of just the sexual nature it had during our imprisonment. It was funny really, I used to think he was sick for toying with me like he did but now I understood it. But that didn’t mean I wanted to emotionally hurt him so I smirked at him as I lowered the gun which caused Wesker’s eyes to lighten as relief came over him. I wanted to be a player in the games he played rather than the butt of every joke and while I wanted a turn with the upper hand on him, I didn’t actually want us to be playing against one another. I wanted us to play together- us against the world. But he needed to agree to that in order for the game to work. 

“First thing’s first.” I threw a quick punch to his temple hard enough to stagger him back and though he growled and glared at me, he didn’t otherwise react to it. His eyes didn’t darken either so he understood that was well deserved, he even told me to punch him back when he first showed up at my place all those months ago. I’d just been saving it for when it would actually make me feel better and now I did. 

“Fair enough.” he stated with some reluctance as he shook his head clear and straightened. With that out of the way, I got right to the point. 

“I’m done playing by rules that allow people to get hurt. I’m done getting held back by legal bullshit that prevents good organizations like the BSAA from doing all they can. And I’m done letting evil bastards get away with killing so many people.” I explained as I holstered my gun before I gave the blond man a fierce look. “I’m going underground to take out as many of them as I can.” the declaration made Wesker tilt his head as he crossed his arms in thought, interest clear in his orange eyes. 

“And by ‘take out’ do you mean arrest or murder?” he questioned and I gritted my teeth as my gaze averted from him. I had thought about that and while “murder” wasn’t the word I liked to use, I did understand it would probably be necessary here and there. 

“I’d like to try to get enough legal evidence for a guaranteed conviction but I know that won’t always be possible so lethal force will be needed in some situations.” I stated as I again met his eye to show my serious determination and the other nodded his approval. 

“And where do I factor into these plans of yours? Partner or first victim?” the question wasn’t concerned, even boarded on teasing. He must know that me wanting to take him out in one way or another was still very much a thing but I’d already made it clear I wasn’t here for violence- not much of it anyway. I still didn’t like his intentional word usage but we both knew I couldn’t contest it. 

“You said you wanted to start fresh together, this is how we do that.” I shrugged. “I think it’s a fair middle ground. You’ll have to stop trying to destroy the world and help me save a lot of ‘lowly’ human lives but for those we have to deal with…” I hesitated but got it out. “I’ll learn to look the other way so you can still do what you do with viruses and whatnot.” I pointed an accusing finger at him. “But they can’t be used to hurt innocent people.” Wesker only continued to smirk at me through my conditions and I took a breath to keep myself calm. “You won’t be a bad guy anymore and I won’t be a good guy anymore, we’ll be together somewhere in the middle.” a brief silence moved between us which made me feel a little nervous about his answer. I had no doubt he wanted to be with me but I still didn’t know what kind of sacrifices he was willing to make for me. Would this be something he was willing to do or was it too much? 

“What made you decide all this?” he didn’t answer me just yet, still collecting information so I supplied it to keep us moving smoothly. 

“You.” I said without hesitation and continued with confidence. “You helped me realize the roots of my issues with the flaws in not only the BSAA but in the entirety of the government. You helped me accept that there was something I could do about it. And now you’ll help me take the first steps to take action to change things. I know I can’t ask you to change who you are just like you can’t ask me to change who I am. I decided on some of this before you showed up but since you came back, I’ve been thinking a lot about what compromises we can both agree on to make things work.” my voice softened as I spoke more sincerely. “I want to be with you Wesker, more than anything.” I nervously started to tug my gloves off, one finger at a time. “You already gave up everything for me and as of last night I’ve given up everything for you. If we work together to rebuild ‘us’ I think we can make this work.” I held up my bare hand, fingers spread and waiting for the other man as I watched him with a little worry. The blond’s gaze flicked to my hand then back to my eyes before he sighed and lowered his head. For just a moment I got scared until he started to chuckle. 

“You actually had me concerned about your intentions the past several weeks.” he told me before he started taking off his own gloves which struck relief through my tension. “I was prepared to let you capture or maim me, I was ready to hand over my very life to you if you so chose to take it.” he held his hand up to mine as he gifted me a tender smile and his eyes shifted to a light orange. “I very much prefer your idea. I accept all your terms and I’m with you until the end.” then his fingers slid between mine to squeeze my hand and I exhaled slowly as I stared at our joined hands. I felt renewed in a way that tasted like sweetness with nearly none of the bitterness that’s always plagued us. All the life and feeling he took from me when he left was suddenly thrust back into my chest where it belonged but it felt so much bigger than when I gave it away. Even in the distance that’s been between us since he left, he knew he still carried my heart and he’d been taking care of it. 

“Once we do this, there’s no going back. Will you really stay with me this time?” I asked and even though there was a touch of worry in my tone, I still smiled brightly at the man I loved. He stepped close enough to me that our bodies were nearly touching as he used his free hand to cup my cheek. 

“I genuinely regret leaving, I’m truly sorry for everything I put you through with that decision. But I swear to you I will never leave you again.” he vowed as his thumb rubbed a soft line back and forth over my skin. “I love you Chris.” I finally had the amazing words I’d always wanted to hear from him. I thought they would have been tainted with the sorrow of the first time but they weren’t, this time they felt new like a wide spanning future not yet traveled. I raised my hand to grab his waist, pulling his body to mine as I tipped my head up to capture his lips. The long awaited feeling of his mouth moving against mine was revitalizing like I’d been denied crucial sustenance and it was finally supplied to me once again. Once we parted, we rested our foreheads against one another as we sucked in each other’s air. I wasn’t sure about him but all of this was making me lightheaded as if I could actually get intoxicated on his breath. Wesker held my hand tighter as if seeking reassurance that this was real so I squeezed my fingers harder over his in response because I needed that assurance as well. 

“Say it again.” I whispered in the space between our mouths and the other chuckled at me happily. 

“I love you.” he repeated before he tilted his head to peck my lips again. “I love you Dearheart.” his voice was beginning to take on a heated quality that made him sound desperately frenzied- the sound excited me. “I love you Pet.” his hand pressed to the back of my head to deepen the next kiss, his tongue sliding into my waiting and eager mouth. My entire body quivered under his touch and the sensation of this passion between us- the pure feelings of love and happiness was enough to bring a stinging heat to my eyes. 

“I love you too Captain.” I spoke the words through a happy chuckle as a single tear slid from my eye. The smile never left Wesker’s face as his yellow eyes stared into mine until I leaned in to lock our lips together again. Neither of us really knew what would come next, we would work it out as we went and face whatever challenges came our way. We had each other and that’s all we needed. We would build an “us” bigger and better than ever and we would do it together, now and forever.

Chapter Text

The apartment was still, there had been no movement in the place for days and the only sounds were those that came from outside the walls. Neighbors coming and going and the like. But today there were two women approaching the front door, chatting to each other as a key rotated the lock to allow them entry. 

“Thanks for coming with me. I think he pushed it too much the other day, he’s probably just isolating again. He hasn’t answered my texts or calls but I think with both of us here he’ll have to get some help.” the redhead spoke appreciatively to the other who gave a sad smile. 

“We’ve been trying to get him into therapy since he’s been out, what makes this time any different?” Jill asked as she shut the door behind them. 

“I don’t know, he just seemed different last time, you know?” Claire answered as she moved straight for her brother’s bedroom. In truth Jill hadn’t noticed, she was able to set aside some time to hang out with the two Redfields the other day but her mind had been elsewhere on a new case that came up. Really she was just lucky she hadn’t been called away during their day out. “Chris, come on it’s time to get out of… bed…” Claire’s forced upbeat tone slowly died in her throat when she swung the door open only to be met with an empty room. She took a moment to search the place, not that there was really anywhere to hide, but her brother wasn’t there. “I guess he’s not home.” she called back to the blond woman who gave a look of confusion as she moved to the window to peer out into the parking lot. 

“His car is outside.” she confirmed though they had both already seen it on their way in. “Maybe he went for a walk.” she ventured a guess, knowing the man they tried to look after in his depression liked to do that to clear his head sometimes. 

“I’ll try to call him again.” Claire stated as she moved to the couch, her phone already in hand to dial her brother. As she listened to the ringing, her eye caught the familiar sight of Chris’ favorite coffee mug sitting on the small table in front of her where it always was. The dark green reflected a bit of sunlight coming through the curtains, the black lettering of “built like a boulder” in clear view from her spot. But… there was a piece of paper half under it which hadn’t been there before, Chris didn’t use this cup as he had the one that came before it. Her stomach sank with a deep feeling of dread as she leaned forward to read the words on it written in her older brother’s halfway sloppy handwriting. 

“Do you hear that?” Jill questioned as she walked into Chris’ room to follow the faint buzzing she heard. There, on the resident’s desk, was his cell phone. Confused, the BSAA agent picked up the ringing device to see that Claire was calling but denied it since she wouldn’t be able to reach the owner. She looked around the room for a moment as if she would find the answer to what was happening. It could still be that Chris had just stepped out for some time and left his phone but she couldn’t help feeling like something was terribly wrong. Instead of answers, she only found more questions as she began to realize a lot of her friend’s belongings were missing from his room… everything he would need with him elsewhere. But it wasn’t just stuff he would pack for a trip, it was as if he’d actually packed up and moved what he deemed worth taking. “He left his phone and his things are gone!” she exclaimed as her heart began to race with fear, reemerging from the bedroom only to hear the other woman’s stifled cry. “Claire?” she called in worry, walking around the couch to place a gentle hand on the redhead’s shoulder. The younger woman only rubbed her eyes as she pointed to the coffee table so Jill turned to see what she was pointing at. Pulling the letter seemingly written by Chris out from under the mug, Jill read the message he left behind. 

“ I’m sorry to leave everyone like this but I can’t keep on as things are. I have to fight this war but I can’t do that with the BSAA anymore so I’m going to change the world in my own way. ” 

Jill squeezed her eyes closed to keep away the stinging in her eyes as she breathed. Sadness and anger filled her but more than anything else, she was disappointed in herself. She knew he was struggling and doubting so much- how had she not seen that he might try something this drastic? She never thought he’d run away like this but she should have done more to try to prevent him from getting this far out of control. 

“Chris… what are you doing?” she wondered aloud before sighing and looking at the man’s sister who seemed devastated by this… loss, betrayal… she didn’t really know what this was yet. “Come here.” she soothed as she motioned Claire closer to her, wrapping her arms around the younger woman who cried a little more openly once she knew she wasn’t alone in this sense of grief. Neither of them knew what to think yet about Chris taking off to do what he thought was right but it couldn’t be good if he felt the need to cut them off like this. “Whatever it takes, we’ll find him and smack some sense into him.” Jill promised and Claire nodded her agreement. 

“We’ll drag his ass back home.” the redhead declared fiercely. She suspected Chris would eventually get back into anti bioterrorism work, whether it was returning to the BSAA or enlisting with a different group, but she never saw this coming. She just wanted him to be happy but this was taking things too far. She wouldn’t stand by and just let him go- she wouldn’t let him abandon his entire life! He was incredibly stubborn at times so it would take some doing but that was a Redfield trait and she was pure blood. 

… … … 

Chris sighed as he scrolled through his phone, looking for the file Wesker sent him a few days ago on one of their targets. He found more evidence to add to it but still wasn’t sure it was enough for an arrest so he’d keep the case on the back burner until they either got more on him or had to accept they would have to kill him. The news was playing on the tv in the background of their bedroom but he hardly listened to it since it wasn’t covering anything new to him. The ongoing arrests or assassinations of top heads in various pharmaceutical corporations, the best researchers working under them, and black market weapon dealers weren’t exactly news to the ones that orchestrated them. Still, he liked to keep up with the news coverage on all of their cases because it was good to know what the public was being told. 

Even after a year of doing this, Chris still preferred to get enough on their targets for a proper arrest- he even had some trustworthy law enforcement contacts in different nations and governments that he easily slipped information to. Some were reluctant to work with him but understood the necessity of bringing down the people behind bioterrorism so dealing with him was the lesser of evils. Others were grateful for the assistance in doing what their laws prevented them from doing. If any government had his or Wesker’s identities figured out, none went public with the information. They were careful too, less so for Wesker’s sake but if they could keep Chris’ image off of the most wanted list for as long as possible, they were going to do that. 

The brunet sighed as he tossed his phone onto his desk and turned his attention more fully to the tv though the news covering their most recent hit was just about over. He hadn’t wanted to kill the guy- he thought they had enough on him but the courts didn’t hold him so he and Wesker went back to finish the job. He was getting restless waiting for his lover to return so he set about cleaning up their room a little so Wesker didn’t get on him again about making a mess. The room was made more cozy after Chris moved in, giving the place some personality and a more lived in feel than Wesker ever cared to give anywhere he lived. At least the blond spent more time here now that he had reason to since it’s where Chris spent most of his time. He didn’t like being a homebody but living on an island didn’t give him many options on where to go and he still received dirty looks from Alex and most of the people that worked for her so he liked to keep some distance. 

His partner assured him it was in fact personal but nothing would come of it- he made sure of that. Chris wasn’t entirely sure what that meant and Wesker wouldn’t tell him but he trusted that he had the situation handled. The brunet didn’t like Alex either and he’d gotten more comfortable with taunting her with what he knew she wanted and was jealous that he had- Wesker’s attention. So he didn’t exactly help matters there but it was fun and they both knew she couldn’t touch him so he kept at it. It’s not like she didn’t find little ways to get back at him, she sent a few of the mine workers to rough him up while he was swimming a few months after he moved in. He put two of those guys in the infirmary with broken bones while he walked away with scrapes and bruises. Both Wesker and Alex were present when he was questioned about it and he just smirked as he claimed someone was throwing a jealous fit. He looked right at Alex as he told Wesker he would deal with it. Despite being such a well put together and tough woman even in the face of danger, she reminded him a little of his Wesker in that, she did seem a little nervous. He’d yet to do anything major to her though, hadn’t needed to. It was more fun to let her stay in suspense and then do something little once she started to let her guard down to get her alert with worried anticipation all over again. He’d keep her waiting in that neverending tension forever as long as she continued to react to it. Even if her reactions and motives were subtle, so many years of dealing with Wesker had trained him to pick up on it all. 

Deep blue eyes raised to the door when it opened to allow his lover entry. He smiled as Wesker made his way across the room to embrace him, holding tightly to him as they kissed. Despite the passion they still had for each other both in and out of the bedroom, they saw each other regularly enough and long enough to grow out of the desperate need they had for each other. When Chris first moved in, they went through their honeymoon phase all over again, constantly needing to be wrapped up in each other as if none of this was real and they wanted to make every moment count. Eventually they calmed down and settled into something more domestic, small kisses of greeting and light touches as they passed by each other, while the more heated stuff was kept in the bedroom… mostly. But just because they didn’t jump all over each other every time they were in touching distance anymore didn’t mean the two didn’t ever get overwhelmed with carnal urges- quite the opposite. Neither had ever had a more active sex life and it was as amazing as ever even if it usually left Chris constantly sore as they explored the limits of his masochism. They dabbled with other kinks too, it was hit and miss but always fun to experiment with new things. 

Chris was half expecting and craving this response to Wesker’s return since he’d left the island to meet with an informant. Originally the two were supposed to go together but Chris ended up with a lead from one of his sources so they split up to tackle separate tasks. The brunet got back first and while this was a welcome surprise, the older man was more enthusiastic than usual to see him again so Chris knew he must have good news. 

“Did they have it?” the younger man asked a little breathlessly as the two finally parted from each other’s lips. 

“Shut off the tv, it’s time for our next assignment.” the blond stated with a sadistic smirk as he nodded. 

“Really? It’s finally her?” he asked with a pleading tone as if he thought he might be lying. 

“She put up a good effort not to be found but we’ve got her current location.” Wesker replied so the other quickly pulled himself out of his grasp to start gearing up. “You sure are eager.” the older man pointed out with a knowing chuckle. “We won’t get enough to have her apprehended. This isn’t a collection job, it’s a hit.” he reminded and Chris nodded as he strapped on his boots. 

“I’m counting on it.” he answered, already going over the gear he still had packed into the helicopter Wesker got him as a birthday present since it was the first they got to celebrate together. He used it to get away sometimes but mostly they used it for missions. 

“You’re adjusting rather well to assassinations.” Wesker laughed and the brunet just shrugged. 

“It’s necessary because as I see it, the people we take out are more monstrous than the BOWs they make.” that was the genuine truth but he would be lying if he said he wasn’t actually a little excited about this one- he’d waited all year for this. “Besides, this is a special case.” he was getting into work mode, standing and heading for the door when the blond man suddenly slammed him against the wall before aggressively plunging his tongue into his mouth. Though taken by surprise, Chris returned the kiss with just as much fervor. 

“Watching you work like this turns me on.” his partner muttered against his lips, causing Chris to groan and lean to bite at the other’s lips teasingly. 

“After this hit, I’ll give you a ride in the helicopter.” the brunet promised seductively which had confusion crossing Wesker’s face very briefly until Chris winked at him and he understood. Riding in the helicopter wasn’t anything new, Chris flew them everywhere nowadays, but being ridden in the helicopter- that was a different story and he liked the sound of it. It wouldn’t be the first time they had sex in the helicopter, Chris was rather insistent on it the week after he got it and damn did he make it fun. Chris was proud of the aircraft, as a hobby he’d actually started to learn the mechanical maintenance for it to be able to tend to it himself. So fucking in it was thrilling to him and Wesker got to reap the benefits of his excited enthusiasm. 

“Tease.” he growled but backed off when Chris pushed against his chest to get off the wall. He could tell he wasn’t the only one that wanted more but Chris had his attention set elsewhere so if the blond wanted anything from him, he’d first have to deal with this case. The sooner they finished this hit, the sooner he could claim his reward. “After you Pet.” he said with a smirk as he gestured to the door. Chris returned the menacing smirk that seemed more dangerous every day as he left the room and headed for the helipad, a dark delight entering his tone as he spoke. 

“Let’s go get that Excella bitch.”

Chapter Text