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After almost half an hour listening to three amused grown up men wistfully share their trainee's years memories and feeling cut off from their chatters without even been sure if he cares, to Levi hearing Nile announce his need to return home for dinner is probably the best thing happened to him throughout the entire day.
Everything till now has been definitely unusual, from Mike escorting them to Mitras for a routine encounter with Zackley about funds without being the need to, to Nile's sudden appearance and his evident good mood, which led to the point they are now, with a not so amused Levi forced to bear with this show of camaraderie he doesn't fully understand instead of placidly spending his day in the Capital with Erwin as any other time, maybe passing some quality time in a teahouse rather than in the shitty pub they actually are clogged in.
"Why don't you dine with us? In name of the old days."
Erwin's words and Mike's grunt of assent sink in him slowly before he could fully understand their meaning. He's not jealous, but he's far beyond his limit and totally fed up with all this old friends shit, so he's now hoping that Erwin has a good second motive to keep Nile at his side, and maybe that in the while he could find a way out from all of this.
"Marie is waiting for me, I really can't..."
Nile is obviously reluctant when he says it, it seems like he's enjoying himself and really doesn't want to leave, but nonetheless he hints to get up, quickly halted by one of Erwin's hands on his shoulder.
"I'm sure we can find someone to inform her about your delay, come on!"
And suddenly Levi sees his chance.
"I'll go."
Only these two words and he's already bolting up, giving to Erwin only a side glance meant to make clear that he's not going to accept a deny. He doesn't even wait for a reply, striding towards the exit door with a sort of relief starting to grow inside him. He's not jealous, he understand friendship, but if he has to be honest to himself he felt neglected for most of the day and he knows he needs some solitude to get rid of this awful mood if he doesn't want to throw it back to Erwin later on.
Well this and... Marie. He perfectly knows who she is, Mike's been sure to tease him more than once about Erwin's big teenage crush and about how he choose titans over her and so maybe he's also a bit curious and what better than this opportunity to see her with his eyes?
The road to Nile's house finishes before he could really be ready for it, still mulling over his thoughts, but he still knocks at the door, wondering if Erwin's been here almost once to see what he missed with his life choices, wondering if in the end he regrets it or not. It's a small house, all in white stones and with climbing roses to a side of the door, and it looks incredibly domestic. From the inside comes a warm light and what appear to be children laughing and it's all so alien compared to what he is used, to the roughness of their headquarters, to the screams, to the red of blood, that he almost doesn't notice that the door is now open.
And then she's there.
Levi didn't know what to expect but he can't help to feel like paling in comparison. She's so feminine, a slender figure with long and curled red hair, big tits and at least a span taller than him. He has just the time to think that he had felt less intimidated by Kaney when he was a child, the first time they met, before trying to compose himself from his stupor.
"Nile will not come for dinner, he's been withheld by Erwin."
Rude. He's been rude and he knows it, but he's always been awkward towards people and he can't help it, 'cause words tend to flow freely out of his mouth in social situations, at least if he can summon them at all.
Marie beams at him, apparently unfazed by his poor presentation. "It's an honor to meet you in person Captain Levi. I'm Marie, Nile's wife, but I suppose you already know it." She states with another wide smile before turning to the inside of her home. "Hey little boys, come and see who came to visit!"
It's a matter of moments before Levi hears two couples of small feet running on the floor, anticipating the arrival of two little brats with the same warm chestnut eyes of their mother and Nile's dark mop head. He fears to have to keep them away from him, with their filthy hands and their annoying high pitched cheers, never been so good in bearing with children, even in Isabel's days long ago, but Marie precedes him, calling her sons to order with an amused little laugh.
She is apologizing for them to him, but Levi is unable to fully listen to her, too much lost into his own thoughts to really care about what's going on. She's beautiful, she's kind, she's smiling with easiness and joy and if all of this is the touchstone of Erwin tastes well, he doesn't know anymore what to think about himself, about the two of them.
Her manners are flawless and she arrives to invite him in for something to drink, but Levi dryly refuses 'cause this entire situation is starting to suffocate him and he feels like he needs to get away from this place as fast as he can if he wants to regain his balance.
He hastily pays his goodbye without caring again about his rudeness before starting to wander through Mitras' streets. He knows he should come back to his comrades, but he feels a bit overwhelmed by the huge mistake he thinks he's made evaluating his relationship with Erwin and really doesn't want to see them now, so he returns to the inn where they're supposed to spend the night before going back to the headquarters.
The emptiness of the bed he was supposed to share doesn't help him to fall asleep and so he's still awake when the door of the room opens later on, in the middle of the night, announcing Erwin's arrival.
He doesn't pretend to be asleep, he's never been one keen to playing games, and so he lift his head a bit when finally Erwin settles down and decides to spoon him, allowing him to slip an arm under his head before burying his nose in his hair. Even if they're just together out of proximity and convenience, or so it seems after today, nothing prevents him to take what he can, including the body heat of the other to make the night a little bit better.
"I missed you." Erwin mutters with his face still nuzzling the back of his head with slow tender motions. "You didn't come back."
It's a statement, but Levi knows that it's Erwin's way to let him free to answer his implicit question or to let it slip unnoticed depending on his actual mood. His head aches and he still can't grasp the meaning of all of this: why is he always so considerate if this is only a sort of deep friendship with additional benefits?
It takes him a while to find something to say, but in the end he knows that the other can sense something is amiss, so he might as well spit it out.
"If all of this shit will be over... what would you do?" Levi asks, without turning to the other, cautiously whispering every word.
Erwin stays silent for a while, and Levi doesn't know if it's because he doesn't think he will live through the end of this or because he's carefully building his answer like any other of his plans. He thought that at this point of their relationship they was far beyond this, but right now he's not feeling anymore so sure about it.
"Assuming it like possible... once I'll find the truth I'd like to retire and live in a peaceful seclusion..." He finally replies, distractedly caressing his hip before adding with a small sigh. "...perhaps build a family."
It hurts to be right, at least for Levi, who never thought to be one who easily deludes himself, even if reality is actually contradicting him.
"I see."
Erwin sighs again, and his it's a knowing noise. He tightens his embrace, enclosing more Levi's body against his before caressing the shell of his ear with his nose.
"I never told it has to be with someone else than you..." He whispers, resuming his soft and shooting strokings at his hip.
Levi holds his breath and he needs a few moments before finding the strength to say what's on his mind right now, letting out all his doubts about the truthfulness of what he's heard.
"Is not like I can give you a brood of brats, though."
Erwin chuckles with amusement and then kisses his temple, slowly, twice. "I know for sure the Underground is always flooding of little kids with nowhere to go... I thought you were well aware of this too." He teases him, making room for him to roll on his back and finally turn to him.
"So..." Erwin continues, placing another soft kiss on him, this time on his jawbone. "...will you grow old with me?"
Levi pushes him away a little, but he's unable to fully hide the little fond smile creasing one of the sides of his lips. "We are already old, you idiot." He mutters, before nestling himself in the other embrace again, this time however facing him and placing his head just under his chin.
He buries his face in the crook of Erwin's neck, trying to conceal the embarrassment he's feeling for having doubted at least for a while what they have, and basks in Erwin's soft touches, letting him pet him without complaining. Erwin knows he doesn't need to talk about it more than he already forced himself to do and Levi loves him also for this, for letting him snake out of his idiocy without overanalyzing it or throwing a fit about it.
What lulls him to sleep is the memory of Isabel growing under his care. Even after everything that has happened isn't a painful one, but something that softly warms his chest and even if he's not sure to be a man cut for domesticity, well he suppose he could give it a try... if ever the time will come.