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Chapter Text

Lester Solace was a surgeon and he was Will’s hero. Every day when he came back from work, Will would run up to him with wide eyes and a smile that was missing his two front teeth and beg his dad to hear about the hospital. His siblings all idolized their dad too, but Michael and Lee weren’t that into science or medicine and Kayla was too young to really get it. His father would sit in the armchair in their living room after he got back from work and Will sat on his knees in front of him, waiting for the stories from that day. 

Usually, his father would tell him a watered down version of his day, trying his best to leave out the gore and the trauma and the death. But Will didn’t want the sugarcoated stories about giving kids stitches or the dangers of appendicitis, he wanted the most minute details of organ removal. He wanted to know what bodies looked like on the inside, how much people bled, the texture of someone's liver and stomach. Lester was hesitant to tell him and there was something unnerving about the look in Will’s eyes when he would cave and describe it all to him. There was only one time when he told Will ‘No’ , that he won’t tell him and that he shouldn’t ask. 

Will was in his usual position at his father’s feet, looking up at him with wide eyes that should scream innocence and youth but instead glinted coldly. His father was telling him about a gallbladder removal he did that day and Will was bored . He didn’t want to hear another story about a relatively non-invasive surgery, he wanted something good, something serious, something new .

“Dad?” Will asked suddenly, interrupting him.

“Yes?” his dad responded.

“What happens if the ana-” Will scrunched up his nose in frustration as he tried to pronounce the word, “anath-”

“Anaesthesia?” his dad clarified. 

Will nodded, smiling, “Yeah! What happens if that,” he paused, “Wears off? Like, before you’re done?”

His dad paused, looking at his son cautiously. “What do you mean, Will?” 

Will huffed and frowned, sitting back and crossing his legs criss-cross applesauce, “What do you do if they start to feel it? Do you have to stop or can you keep going?”

The way Will asked the question made Lester’s blood run cold. As if the pain of a patient is an inconvenience, an afterthought to the surgery. His face hardened and he looked at Will sternly, “No more questions today, Will. Go wash your hands for dinner.”

Will’s face crumpled. “What?” he asked, his voice weak.

Lester stood up and stepped past his son on the floor, “You heard me, William. Go wash your hands.” His voice was cold and harsh, leaving no room for any argument. 

Will looked at him, his eyes watering slightly at his dad’s tone. He stood up slowly and looked at his dad as he hesitated in the doorway into the kitchen, looking like he wanted to turn around. He didn’t move and after a minute, Will turned away, dragging his feet to the bathroom. 

As Lester heard the faucet turn on, he walked quickly into the kitchen where his wife was standing and chopping vegetables. 

“Hey, honey,” she said, glancing over at him, “What’s wrong?”

He sighed, crossing his arms and leaning against the counter, “I’m worried about Will.”

She paused what she was doing and turned to face him, her brows furrowed. “What?” she asked, her voice laced with panic, “What happened?”

“He asked me a question today,” Lester told her.

“A question?” her voice was incredulous, “You’re worried because Will, who waits by the door for you to come home so he can hear every detail of your day, asked you a question?”

“It was different,” he said, “He asked about anaesthesia, about what happens if it wears off during surgery. The look on his face, Naomi. He was so curious but his eyes were just,” he sucked in a breath, “Cold. Like he didn’t care about the person at all.”

Naomi was silent and frowning, studying the look on her husband’s face. “Listen,” she sighed, “I know you’re worried about him. I understand why, that’s,” she paused, “Strange. But he’s only six years old, he probably doesn’t know any better. He reads that anatomy book you bought him every day and he listens to the stories you tell him, neither of which really do much describe the actual experience of the patient, how scary and traumatizing it can be. Not that he should hear that, because he shouldn’t, but he probably doesn’t even register the connection. He sees it all as something new to learn.”

Lester nodded slowly and sighed, “I guess you’re right.”

“Maybe you should take him to work with you someday. So he can meet the people, realize how much of a personal connection based career it is,” she suggests. 

“That’s a good idea,” he says, smiling slightly, “I’ll take him with me on Saturday.”

That weekend, Will climbed into the car with his dad, wearing his own white coat and carrying his own stethoscope. At the hospital, Will was introduced to all the doctors and nurses that his dad worked with every day, and even a few patients. They would squat down to his level as they saw him and ask him his name.

“Hi!” he would exclaim, “My name is Will Solace! My daddy’s a surgeon. I’m gonna be one too!”

Everyone got a kick out of the cute little boy grinning from ear to ear and following his dad around like a puppy. They would coo at him as he gasped every time someone showed him a piece of equipment, his eyes widening and shining with reckless joy. Will was charming and adorable and nice to everyone and by the end of the day, Lester’s concern over his son had been soothed. ‘ There is no reason to worry about him ,’ he rationalized, ‘He understands now.’

And yet, on the ride home, Will asked from the back seat, “Do you always have to numb someone before you give them stitches?”

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Will was sitting crouched on the grass, his hands at his sides as he vigilantly surveyed the school playground for any sign of injury. His eyes darted between playsets, monkey bars, and swings. His attention was caught as he spotted his friend Austin. There was another boy standing in front of him, attempting to tower over him intimidatingly. Austin was staring back at him defiantly, his hands clenched in fists at his sides and brows furrowed. Will stood up, placing a hand on the fanny packed strapped around his waist to make sure it was still there. He didn’t run over yet, waiting tensely to see what would happen.

He watched in horror as the bully pulled his arms back and launched them forward, pushing Austin to the ground harshly. Will took off, running over to his friend as fast as he could and skidding to a stop in front of him. He dropped to his knees, digging around in his pack for band aids, alcohol wipes, and antibiotic ointment. Austin met his eyes as he looked up, both of their gazes watery and lips trembling. Will turned around to face the bully, looking up at him. The bully was sneering, his face contorted cruelly as he laughed at the pair of boys at his feet. The anger that twisted in Will’s gut was unexpected and intense. It made tears spill from his eyes, his cheeks flushed with frustration and anger as he heard Austin sniffle beside him. 

The bully was still laughing as Will turned his attention away from and tore open an alcohol wipe, looking at Austin’s scraped knees and palms.

“This will sting,” he hiccupped.

“Gonna cry some more?” the bully taunted from above.

Will ground his teeth in fury, moving closer to Austin. His mind was racing, bouncing between the first-aid he knew and an overwhelming urge to hurt the bully, to push him down like he did to Austin, to kick him and hit him and make him cry. His breath was coming rapidly and harshly as he felt sobs bubble in his chest. He heard the teacher come up behind them, immediately asking what happened. Will tuned her out as he wiped the gravel and blood from Austin’s knees, who winced at the action. A sense of satisfaction struck him quickly as Austin recoiled. His flinching made Will feel good , feel something he was too young to understand or give a name to. It scared him, terrified him to the bone and made his hands shake as he tried to smear antibiotic ointment on the bandaid for Austin’s knees. He was sobbing now, barely containing wails as he tried to help his friend but desperately wanted to press hard on the wound, make him flinch. He barely registered the teacher scolding the bully behind him, hearing just enough for him to think that whatever punishment she had in mind for him wouldn’t be enough. 

Will smoothed the bandaid over Austin’s knee, taking hiccupping breaths as he sat back. He cowered slightly as the teacher placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, trying to soothe him and pull him away from Austin. It just made him cry harder, overwhelmed with feelings of guilt, anger, and fear that felt too big for him to experience, let alone rationalize. He couldn’t swallow the fact that what he wanted to do most in that moment was hurt someone. 

Later that night, as him and his family sat at the table eating dinner, he still didn’t feel quite right. He was normally very talkative, rambling about his school day and friends. Instead, he was silent, pushing his food around on his plate and keeping his head down. His family was talking around him hesitantly, all of them casting careful glances at him that he didn’t see. After a few minutes, Will’s mother spoke carefully, “Will, honey?”

Will sniffled, not looking up. She tried again, “Will, your teacher called me today.”

He glanced up, his face paling as he met his mom’s gaze. His lips trembled slightly and eyes watered. Her eyes filled with concern as she watched his face crumple. “No, honey!” she reassured, “It’s nothing bad. She told me about how you helped Austin on the playground today. That was very nice of you.”

A tear escaped his eye as he mumbled a quiet, “Really?”

His mom smiled at him, her eyes warm, “Really,” she paused and looked at him softly, “She said you were very upset, though.”

Will nodded, looking back down at the table. “Why?” his mom asked.

Will mumbled something indiscernible. His mom strained to hear, “What was that?”

“Someone should have pushed the bully,” Will spoke up. 

Silverware clattered down onto the table. Naomi turned away from her son, looking at her husband in a panic. Lester’s jaw was tense as he looked at his wife expectantly. She turned back to Will. “We shouldn’t say that, Will. It’s not nice.”

Will stared back disobediently, his cheeks still blotchy. “You just said that I was nice . And it’s true. If it was fair, someone would have pushed him too. He was mean,” he said.

Will’s siblings were watching him at shock, both at his words and the way he spoke defiantly to their parents. “William,” his mom said harshly, “That’s inappropriate. You can’t wish for other people to hurt just because they were mean.”

“Why?” Will asked, his eyes steely.

“An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind,” his dad jumped in. 

Will turned to look at him, “No, it doesn’t. Only the mean people wouldn’t have eyes anymore.”

His parents stared at him in bewilderment, completely unsure of what to do. “Go to your room, William,” his mother said.

“What?” he asked.

“Go to your room!” she said, her voice raising.

Will slammed his fork down on the table and pushed his chair back. He jumped down, his face contorted in anger. “Fine!” he shouted, “But you guys are mean too!”

He stomped away from the table and up the stairs to his room. He slammed his bedroom door shut, climbing onto his bed and grabbing a lion stuffed animal, squeezing tightly to his chest. He felt his eyes water again, tears of frustration spilling down his cheeks. ‘Some people deserve to get pushed, ’ he thought, ‘I will push them.’

Chapter Text

By age thirteen, Will felt like he knew exactly what he was supposed to do with his life. Every action he made was filled with intention and unwavering certainty. He knew he wanted to go to New York University for his undergraduate degree and Columbia University for medical school. He had printed pictures of the campuses and taped them up on the walls right above the list of all the classes he was planning to take in high school. His parents praised him for his ambition and organization, although they were already trying to warn him that he could still be a doctor, a very good doctor, even if he didn’t attend such well known and prestigious schools. Will would huff, exclaiming that he knew that already but he was preparing now so that he would definitely be accepted. (He would also think to himself that he had a purpose in life, a destiny , and that included NYU and Columbia. There wasn’t a possibility that anything else could happen because that would mean denying fate itself.) 

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Will’s mom had called him into the living room and he could tell by the lilt of her voice that something was wrong. He entered the room slowly, his eyes calculating and face impassive as he saw his mom and dad sitting on the couch. His mom gestured to the seat in front of her, “Take a seat, Will.”

He sat cautiously, his hands folded in his lap and his shoulders tense. He took in his parents' expressions, nervous and concerned (and was that amusement he saw?) and decided to slump his shoulders and soften his eyes. “What’s wrong?” Will asked, making his voice waver. 

His dad cleared his throat and straightened his posture, “Will,” he started, trying to keep his voice firm, “We have to talk to you about something.”

His mom was looking at him with a look he couldn’t quite place so he cocked his head, widening his eyes. “Am I in trouble?” he asked.

“No, sweetheart. You aren’t in trouble. We should have talked to you about this sooner,” Naomi told him.

Will looked to the corner of his eyes and saw Michael and Lee dart behind the doorway. He could hear them snicker, they were eavesdropping on them. Will’s heart began to race with anxiety and it frustrated him. Normally he was better at controlling his emotions but he had no idea what to expect and it was throwing him for a loop. His parents seemed nervous but not angry and his brothers were spying, like they knew what was about to happen. 

“Will, you’re a growing boy,” his dad said, “And that comes with new,” he sucked in a breath, “feelings.”

‘Oh ,’ Will thought, ‘Oh no. ’

“It’s completely normal, honey,” his mom said, leaning forward, “You shouldn’t be embarrassed. And if you ever need anything or have any questions, your dad and I are here for you.”

Will felt his face blush red and he wanted to curl up and hide, “Oh my god,” he groaned.

“I know this is awkward, Will,” his dad tried to reassure, “But we wanted to tell you about what might happen and we have to talk to you about new expectations.”

“Stop!” Will pleaded, “You don’t need to talk to me about puberty.”

“Will,” his mom said firmly, “As your parents-”

He cut her off, “No, seriously. It’s okay, I already like, know .”

Naomi sat back and raised an eyebrow, “Oh?”

“Yes!” he exclaimed, “I actually read all the medical books in my room, Mom.”

“Tone, William,” she scolded.

“And besides, Will,” his dad interjected, “Even if you already know the biology part, we still have certain expectations you need to know.”

“I know to shower and use deodorant,” Will mocked.

“Why did you clear the search history on the family computer?” His mom asked, her face set firmly.

Will couldn’t breathe for a moment. He could hear his brothers laughing in the hallways and the way his parents were looking at him made shame curl in his stomach. He didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t apologize, that would affirm their assumptions and he couldn’t deny it because that would make the conversation drag on. He definitely couldn’t tell them the truth, either. He wasn’t looking at anything pornographic , he was doing research on how human bodies decompose and dissolve in acid. He’d made the mistake of accidentally talking about his interest in the more grotesque parts of anatomy before and he hated the way his mom had looked at him, like she was afraid of him. He didn’t want her to be scared of him, he didn’t want anybody to be afraid of him unless they deserved to be afraid. He gulped, deciding the embarrassment was better than the look his mom would give him. He deflated, lowering his head and staring at his hands fidgeting in his lap. “Sorry,” he mumbled.

“Don’t be embarrassed, it’s natural to be curious. But in the future, either ask or don’t use the family computer,” his dad said. 

Will nodded, his face burning. When he glanced up, his parents were looking at him with fondness and it made his heart swell. ‘They don’t know’ he thought, ‘They still love me.’

“Can I go?” Will asked.

His parents were silent for a moment before they smiled softly and nodded. Will stood up stiffly and scurried out of the room, past his laughing older brothers and up the stairs. He ran into his room, closing the door and flopping onto his bed. He stared up at his ceiling, glow in the dark stars stuck to it. His mind was racing and his breathing uneven. Part of him was mortified at having to listen to his parents try to talk to him about puberty and by the fact they thought he was looking at porn on the family computer . But a deep feeling of anxiety crept up his spine. Will had long since reconciled his own morality and plans with himself. He believed, more than anything, that somebody just simply didn’t deserve to live. The harm they caused the world far outshadowed any possible good they could do. As a doctor, Will wanted to save lives and sometimes preemptive action was necessary to truly maximize the good he would do. But he knew that not everybody felt that way, in fact most people didn’t. And he already knew how his parents and siblings looked at him when he asked certain questions, he couldn’t imagine the look in their eyes if he ever said that he thought taking lives, killing people, was righteous. 

His mind slowed as he came to a realization that what he wanted in life was not just to achieve his noble ambitions, but someone who understood him and loved him wholly, for every part of him. The epiphany felt too big for him to have now and although his racing mind was settled, fear licked up his spine as he wondered if that was even possible. ‘If my destiny is to save people’ he thought, ‘Don’t I deserve to not be alone?’ He sat up on his bed and stared at the wall covered in posters and lists and pictures. There were empty spaces here and there that Will had left in case he had missed something and it needed to be added later. ‘I don’t have to be by myself, I just have to plan for someone else.’ he decided. 

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At his age, Will assumed that the best possible person to let into his world, his life, was someone who was already there. He had been best friends with Austin for seven years and he thought that he would understand. Austin always seemed to be there when he needed him and he never looked at Will funny when he would rant about skeletal structure or if he learned something new about organ failure. He would listen attentively and ask questions and Will trusted him. Enough that he decided he was going to tell Austin, about his plans, his purpose . They were best friends , and to Will, that seemed like the most eternal and dedicated bond possible between two people, 

They were having a sleepover at Will’s house. It was far past midnight and the house was silent with the exception of creaking floorboards and the pair’s quiet whispers back and forth. They were lying next to each other on the floor of Will’s bedroom in their respective sleeping bags, staring up at the ceiling rather than each other. Their conversation slowed for a moment and Will sucked in a breath, hoping the courage he felt would last long enough for him to spit it all out. “Hey Austin?” he asked quietly.

“Yeah?” he responded.

“Do you ever think about like, saving lives?” Will whispered.

Austin chuckled quietly, “You mean, do I want to be a doctor like you?” 

“No,” Will huffed, “Well, not really. I mean, do you ever think about how to save lives?”

“I don’t know what you mean, Will.”

“Sometimes I think that saving lives isn’t just like CPR or organ transplants. Maybe it's like, preventive action too.”

“So seatbelts? Or a healthy diet?” Austin teased.

“I mean like, stopping people who want to hurt others before they get the chance to do so,” Will explained.

“Are you having a change of heart about your career path? Looking to become a police officer?”

Will groaned, “I’m being serious, Austin.”

“What are you gonna do, kill them?” Austin joked.

Will was silent for a moment and Austin continued, “Cause I don’t think you could kill anybody even if you tried. You’re way too nice, even if you are a little crazy with your fascination with anatomy. Plus, you aren’t a psychopath .”

Will’s blood ran cold and his stomach sank. He really had thought Austin would understand. Instead, he was left with a sick feeling of disappointment and shame twisting in his gut and the desire to kick Austin out of his room, out of his house. He cleared his throat, “Nevermind, it’s stupid.”

“What?” Austin asked, incredulous.

“It doesn’t matter, Austin,” Will said, his voice cool.

Austin didn’t say anything for a few minutes and Will turned away from him. The room felt heavy with tension, more than has ever existed between the two of them.

“Is your mom making pancakes for breakfast?” Austin asked, hoping to break the tension.

“I’m trying to sleep, Austin,” Will whispered curtly. 

Austin sighed but didn’t say anything. Will squeezed his eyes shut, trying to stop the burning in his eyes and he breathed slowly. He could hear Austin breathe behind him and his sleeping bag rustle occasionally. His head was loud with racing thoughts, voices screaming at him to the point he couldn’t discern what any of them were saying. Through his internal chaos, one thing he knew for certain was that Austin wouldn’t understand, he won’t ever be Will’s person. 

Even though he was lying next to his best friend, in his house filled with his family, Will felt suffocatingly alone.

Chapter Text

The doors to the car slammed shut and Will was squished between his brothers. Kayla had a sleepover with one of her friends from school so she didn’t have to go, which meant they took his dad’s car instead of the family minivan and Will always ended up with the middle seat. He knocked his knees together and put his hands in his lap, trying to take up as little space as possible and not end up with an elbow to the ribs. The car engine rumbled to a start and he waited anxiously to feel the car heat up. 

It was a friday night in December, one week before winter break started and Lee’s holiday orchestra concert had just finished. His family had rushed out of the high school, hoping to avoid the crowd of people that formed in the hallway after any event. Lee’s violin was in the trunk, surrounded by the emergency blanket his dad kept in the car and his own jacket that he had shucked off. He had tried to get everyone else’s winter coats as well, insisting that his violin needed the padding in case of a sharp turn that could make it jostle around too much. Their mom and dad had smiled in amusement but nobody else had donated their coat to the protection of his instrument, it was too cold for anyone to want to. 

They pulled out of the school parking lot and Will could feel the warm air on his cheeks now and he smiled in relief. It wasn’t a very long ride home but his dad had turned on the radio anyway,  Christmas music playing softly. ‘Carol of the Bells’ came on and Lee leaned forward and began to speak animatedly. They played that song during the concert and he was talking animatedly about learning his part and how annoying the percussionists were because they were in Band and apparently that was a cardinal sin to Lee. Will was listening half-heartedly, focusing mostly instead on the road ahead. He didn’t love being squished between Michael and Lee in the backseat, but he liked being able to see out the windshield. 

It had started to snow and his dad had turned on the windshield wipers. The rhythmic thumping sound they made was offbeat with the song but it didn’t really seem to matter to any of them. The car was warm and he could feel Michael shake with laughter at something Lee had said, Will had missed whatever it was but he smiled anyway. The radio was playing ‘Silent Night’ now, it was his mom’s favorite. Will watched her reach across and grab his dad’s hand, intertwining their fingers over the front console. He saw Lee’s face stretch into a smile and look over at him from the corner of his eye. Will looked at him, smiling wider, and then turned forward again. Will met his dad’s warm eyes in the rear view mirror and maybe it was his family or maybe it was the Christmas Spirit , but he felt joy thrumming in his chest. 

And then their car was sent reeling to the side, sliding across ice and tumbling over the side of the road and rolling into a ditch. The impact was sudden and it left Will’s stomach lurching as he felt the car flip, flying through the air in a moment of weightlessness. When the car hit the ground, the windshield shattered and he felt glass fly back at him. The car was upside down and he could feel his seat belt digging into his chest, keeping him from falling against the roof of the car. 

His head was pounding and he was gasping for breath. His arm was bent awkwardly at his side and he couldn’t feel it at all. For what felt like forever, all he could hear was a ringing in his ears and the distant sound of Silent Night still playing in the background. 

Eventually he started to register the sounds around him, his mother was screaming and Michael was breathing erratically to his side. Lee was silent and Will tried to crane his head to see him and when he finally did, he nearly threw up. Lee was on the side that was hit and the car had caved in slightly, crushing his arm and leg. His head was hanging limply, blonde hair coated with blood that was pouring from his nose, into his eyes and across his forehead. His eyes were open and dull, blood pooling in and around them. Lee wasn’t breathing, his chest folded awkwardly as his body threatened to fall. 

Will wailed, or at least he thought he did, and started to cry. He quickly looked to the other side at Michael and immediately regretted the motion, his neck burning and head throbbing. Michael was blinking rapidly and his breathing was far too fast and heavy. Will then noticed that his window had shattered, pieces of glass everywhere. He also noticed the pool of blood forming below them, seemingly coming from Michael’s side.

‘There must be a piece of glass in him ’ Will thought, his mind racing. 

First aid procedure flashed to the forefront but he couldn’t move, let alone try and tourniquet a wound he couldn’t see. His mom was still crying, reaching towards his dad who wasn’t moving in the driver’s seat. For a moment, Will thought he was dead but then he saw his chest rise and fall shallowly. He looked back at his mom and called out to her, his voice weak and cracking, “ Mama .”

She tried to turn and look and look at him but she let out a pained cry, “Will!” she gasped instead, “Honey, it’s gonna be okay.”

“Mama,” he cried again, “Michael,” his voice broke, “Michael is bleeding.” 

His mom let out a shaky sob, “He’s gonna be okay. Someone is gonna come and help us, I promise, honey. Is Lee bleeding too?”

Will sobbed, his vision blurring with tears, “Mama, he’s-“ he couldn’t finish his sentence. 

His mom must have known what he was going to say because she cried out, her voice raw with tears and pain. Will couldn’t bear to look at her anymore so he glanced back at Michael, who’s breathing had slowed down as the pool of blood above his head grew. Will shifted his arm slightly, whimpering in pain as he grasped Michael’s hand in his own. Michael didn’t try to speak or look at him but his fingers twitched slightly in Will’s grasp. 

“Someone is coming Michael, they’re gonna help us,” he whispered to his brother. 

Micahel didn’t say anything in response, his breathing was shallow and raspy and his blinking had slowed down. His eyes didn’t seem as panicked, they were unfocused and bleary. 

Will held his brother’s hand while he stopped breathing. He didn’t let go until the paramedics showed up and pulled Michael away from him. The sirens were overwhelming and the rest of the night was a blur. He focused on minute details, the snow that had piled on their flipped over car, the feeling of the plasticky fabric of the stretcher he was on, the fluorescent lights of the hospital. 

He was discharged the next morning and went home with his mom. His dad has to stay another night for observation. 

Michael and Lee were dead. 

———

Will’s entire world had crumbled to pieces in a night. His brothers were dead and his grief was choking him. He woke up every night to the feeling of Michael’s hand in his and the image of Lee’s eyes flooded with blood seared into his eyelids. They both died right beside him, their lifeless bodies pressed against his sides and he wasn’t able to do anything about it. 

He had spent his entire life working to save lives, planning and preparing and learning. When he needed to more than ever, he had been completely helpless. His guilt was like a weight on his chest, oppressive and unrelenting. Climbing out of bed everyday was like being handed the sky and the heavens to hold up. It felt impossible and yet everyday, he pressed on. 

Because besides his grief or his guilt, he felt angry. White hot fury racing through his veins at every waking moment. He was angry at the man who got drunk and ran a red light, hitting his family’s car. He was angry that the paramedics didn’t get there fast enough and that the doctors weren’t able to save his brothers. He was angry at the universe for making this happen. He was angry at himself for not doing enough. His fury festered, crawling up his throat and threatening to spill out in violent bursts. At night, he would rake his nails down his arms in an attempt to pacify the growing desire to kill something, someone . 

But as he would peer at the bleeding scratches and welts across his arms, the cool emptiness of grief would return. Burning rage would become embers in his belly as he realized what death was. 

‘If this is what death brings,’ he thought, ‘This lurching pain and fear, I can’t ever inflict this on someone else. No one deserves this. This can’t be what I cause.’

What he had seen as his life’s purpose had fallen apart in the same way his family did. He curled up in his bed, arms brought up his chest and sheets tangled at the foot. Will stared at the wall, willing the pain in his arms to go away and praying that he wouldn’t wake up in the morning.

Chapter Text

Will and his family moved to New York City three months after the accident. They couldn’t bear to be in the same house, the same town. His mom couldn’t walk by their rooms without crying. His father was working too much, they barely saw him. Kayla was quiet but clingy now, subdued and afraid that the next time she left her family, some of them wouldn’t come back again. Will was supposed to start high school in the fall and the thought of walking down the hallways and sitting in the classrooms where his brothers once were, and would never be again, was overwhelming. 

So they packed up and they moved across the country., His dad got a job at some hospital and Will was enrolled at the high school three blocks from their town house. He finished the rest of his last year of junior high online and spent the summer trying to get familiar with the city. He wanted to be excited, he was in the city with both of his dream schools, but his plans no longer felt solid and true like they had once been. His future, his purpose , felt unstable and unclear and it was throwing him for a loop. So instead, he focused on learning every part of the city that he could and preparing for his first year of high school.

Freshman year was hard in normal circumstances. Freshman year in a new city at a school where he knew nobody and was riding a seemingly unending wave of grief and blinding rage was arguably worse. 

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Pushing the door open to the school and walking in felt nauseatingly cliche to Will. He moved hesitantly down the hallway, a paper with his schedule and locker assignment on it clutched in his hand. He decided not to stop at his locker, instead walking straight to his first period class, Biology.

When he entered the classroom, nobody else was there yet besides the teacher. She smiled at him kindly and asked his name before directing him to sit at one of the lab tables in the room. He sat at one somewhat in the back, carefully choosing a table not too far back where he seemed like a troublemaker but not close enough to the front where he seemed overly enthusiastic. Front and center may have been what he would have chosen had this been Will from a year ago, but the person he was now was just looking to keep his head above water until he figured out where to go next.

He placed his bag on the stool next to him, pulling out a notebook, a folder, and a black pen that he placed in front of him and then he waited. Will kept his eyes on the door and watched as everyone else filed in slowly. He would occasionally flicker his gaze down so he didn’t seem creepy or he would glance at the clock. The minutes creeped by and soon class was about to start. It was thirty seconds until the bell rang when the last person walked into the class and Will’s heart stopped. 

The boy had hair that was nearly black and his face was angular but soft, making him seem angelic in the purest way. He walked calmly into the room despite his near-lateness and he seemed uninterested. Will realized the only spot left in the class was at his table, across from him, and the boy sat down across from him casually, dropping his bag beside him. He looked at Will, who was looking at him dumbly, dark eyes studying him with amusement as he cocked an eyebrow. “You okay there?” he asked.

Will thought his voice was entirely too smooth and confident for a pubescent boy but it made his hair stand on end all the same. After a moment of embarrassing silence, Will blushed and cleared his throat. ”What?” his voice cracked, “Ohh, uh, yeah. I’m Will.”

The boy smiled at him lightly and leaned back, “I’m Nico. Are you new?”

“Um, yeah, how could you tell?” Will asked.

“You seem extra nervous, more so than anyone else. And I don’t remember seeing you at all in junior high. So are you a transfer or did you move?” Nico explained.

“I moved here a few months ago,” Will told him, “From Texas.”

Nico’s eyes lit up and he seemed to have some response that would surely make Nico blush even more but the bell rang, cutting off their conversation. His mouth snapped shut and he smiled at Will before he turned his head to the front of the classroom. Will stared at him for a moment longer, eyes wandering across his cheeks and the slope of his nose. ‘Oh god,’ he thought, ‘I’m so screwed.’ He sucked in a breath and turned to face the teacher as well, his heart racing. 

The first day of class was just going over expectations and the plan for the school year but it seemed to drag on forever. Will tried his best to keep his cool and stay focused on what the teacher was saying but as he’d catch glimpses of Nico from the corner of his eye, his mouth would parch. ‘Get it together’ he told himself, ‘You’re better than this.’ The end of the period was a relief to Will, a chance to catch his breath and collect himself. Everybody rushed to gather their things and scurry out of the class. Will took his time putting away his things and when he looked up, Nico was waiting for him by the door. He felt butterflies in his stomach as he slung his backpack over his shoulder and smiled in his direction, walking over to him. ‘So much for a breather.’ Nico smirked, his hands shoved in his pockets. He turned on his heel as Will caught up with him and they walked out of the class together into the bustling hallway. Will registered for the first time that Nico was just barely shorter than him, only by an inch or so and because of that, Nico always had to look up at him through dark lashes and it made his heart explode. 

“So, Will,” Nico started, “What’s your schedule?”

Will couldn’t muster his voice so he just handed him the folded up piece of paper. Nico opened up and scanned the page, a smile stretching across his face. “We have English together next period, and we are in the same lunch period.”

“Cool,” Will’s voice was breathy, “I’m glad I know at least one person, now.”

Nico handed the paper back to him and hooked his hands in the straps of his backpack. “At lunch, I’ll introduce you to my friends. Then you’ll know a bunch of people,” he told the blonde, smirking as he looked ahead.

Will gulped, “Are they your friends from middle school?” he asked.

Nico shrugged, “Some of them. Others I know through-” he stopped and frowned, “Others are older than me. They’re kind of annoying but I think you’ll like them.”

He veered to the side quickly, turning into a classroom and Will followed him, craning his head to spot the room number. Nico led them towards the back of the class and plopped down at a desk, gesturing to the one beside him. Will sat down as well, carefully placing his bag at his feet as he turned to look at Nico again, leaning to the side. “Is this English?” he whispered quietly.

Nico chuckled and rolled his eyes, “No, I dragged you to a random class because I want to fuck with you.” 

Will sat back and didn’t say anything for a moment, desperately trying to regain his composure and get in control of the situation again. Part of him was annoyed that he was so thrown off balance by the first pretty boy that talked to him but the rest of him was busy thinking ‘A pretty boy is talking to me!’ He huffed and willed the constant flush of his cheeks to go away before smiling, his face far cooler and composed than it had been and he kept his voice even, “Oh good, I was worried you were being nice to me.”

Nico whipped his head to look at him, his eyes widened slightly and lips parted in shock before he broke into a grin. “Finally,” he sighed, “I thought you were gonna act like a dork forever.”

Will could feel his cheeks warm again but he just raised an eyebrow, “Nah, I’m only a dork sometimes.” 

Nico laughed and it made Will feel like he just had the wind knocked out of him. “Oh good, I can only be friends with people who are dorks only part of the time,” Nico told him.

Every word he said made Will’s chest erupt with butterflies but suddenly Will felt invigorated. He smirked and propped his elbow up on the desk, resting his chin on his hand as he locked eyes with Nico. “So we’re friends now?” he teased.

Will saw a blush rise up Nico’s neck and his eyes flicker with embarrassment but he cleared his throat and leaned forward as well. “Well you’re new, someone’s gotta be your friend,” Nico whispered back, “And I was feeling benevolent today. Don’t get used to it.”

They stared at each for a moment, each daring the other to say something, do something, but instead the teacher spoke at the front of the class and they broke eye contact. Will shuddered as he turned his attention toward their teacher. He took a deep breath and relaxed his shoulders. For the first time in months, Will felt something other than grief or anger and it was invigorating. 

------

Will met Nico outside of the cafeteria before lunch. When they walked in, the shorter boy made a bee line for a table in the center of the cafeteria, leading Will away again. But as they walked over, Will couldn’t help but notice how differently Nico was standing and moving and how the look in his eyes was no longer sparking with amusement but duller, almost anxious. The blonde watched him curiously, his eyes calculating as he studied the change in body language and tried to figure out what table exactly he was being led to. 

They stopped in front of a long table that was already mostly full. Will tried to look at everyone and get a read of them before they really noticed them but he lost his opportunity as a boy with black hair and green eyes turned towards them and grinned. “Nico!” he exclaimed, “Welcome to the high school cafeteria scene!”

Nico scoffed and rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything, instead just sitting down at the empty seat at the end of the table. He glanced forward at the seat across from him then looked at Will expectantly. Will took the hint, dropping his bag and sitting down across from him. 

“So, who’s your friend, Nico?” the same boy asked, turning his gaze toward Will. 

Will saw the teasing look in his eyes and the way his lips upturned so he widened his own eyes and leaned back slightly, feigning intimidation. It seemed to amuse the boy because he chuckled and looked to Nico again. “Another freshman?” he questioned.

Nico shot him a glare, his eyes missing any of the warmth he had looked at Will with earlier, and sneered slightly but still stayed quiet. He looked at Will for just a moment, his eyes no longer harsh but sluggish, and cocked his head. Will gulped and turned towards the boy, “Um,” he said weakly, “My name is Will. I’m in Biology and English with Nico. And yeah, I’m a freshman.”

The boy grinned widely but warmly, “I’m Percy, I’m a junior.”

Will smiled back, still trying to seem somewhat nervous, and flickered his gaze around the rest of the table of people who were all watching him before looking back at Nico, who had his eyes locked on the table as his hands fidgeted. ‘I guess I’m on my own,’ Will thought.

Somebody else spoke up, pulling his attention away from Nico. “It’s nice to meet you, Will.” It was a girl with curly blonde hair and grey eyes, “I’m Annabeth.”

“Hi,” Will said, “It’s nice to meet you too.”

“Glad to see our little Nico is making friends,” Percy joked.

Nico tensed and grumbled and Will could see a frown etched on his face. Will felt something hot flare in his chest and he had to stop himself from sending a heated glare at Percy. 

“Don’t mind Seaweed Brain over there, he’s a doofus,” Annabeth joked. 

Will smiled wryly at her and looked towards the other people at the table. “Are you all, uh,” he started, “Nico’s friends?”

They nodded collectively and Annabeth leaned forward. “That’s Jason,” she pointed towards a boy with blonde hair and blue eyes like Will but if he went to military school as a kid, “And that’s Piper,” it was a girl with brown hair and eyes that seemed to shift colors under the fluorescent lights, “And the elfish one is Leo. That’s Thalia, Jason’s sister,” She gestured toward a girl with short black hair and the same blue eyes, “And then there’s Reyna.” 

Reyna had long brown hair and her face was neutral but her eyes were calculating. Will locked eyes with her and levelled his own calculating gaze. She narrowed her eyes and frowned slightly at him and it made delight curl in Will’s stomach. Nico cleared his throat and broke their staring contest. He was looking up finally, watching Will with a careful and curious look as he spoke, “Reyna, leave him be.”

Reyna squinted at him, still frowning slightly, but she looked away after another moment. Will smiled at Nico, trying his best to keep it nervous and shy. Nico’s lips twitched upward in response and the brightness Will had seen earlier in his eyes flickered just long enough to make Will’s chest warm. 

“So, Will,” someone said, Jason , he thinks, “Are you new?”

Will cocked his head, keeping his voice somewhat uneven, “Um, yeah. How did you know?”

“Well, you’ve got a bit of twang,” Jason grinned, “And Neeks was adamant last year about how much he disliked everybody at his school, so I have to assume you weren’t there if he’s dragging you around now.”

Will felt giddy at Jason’s words and he beamed, whipping his head toward Nico, “Neeks?” 

Nico blushed and grumbled, “Shut up. Jason, I hate you.”

Will laughed and turned to Jason, “Yeah,” he confirmed, “I’m new. Moved up here from Texas a few months ago.”

“Ooh, a Texas boy,” a girl teased, Piper .

“Yes ma’am, born and raised.” Will said.

“So what’s it like being up here with us Northerners?” Percy asked.

“Chillier and,” Will paused just for a moment and chose to lean into his Southern Charm , “Y’all aren’t as nice. Nobody smiles on the sidewalk.”

“We’re cold-hearted like that,” Piper jumped in, “What made you leave?”

Will felt something akin to annoyance swell  in his chest as grief sparked in him but he chuckled anyway and leaned forward, “The sun and I don’t agree, if you can’t tell,” he joked.

Piper threw her head back and laughed. Will looked back at Nico who was red in the face and staring intensely at the table, his hands in his lap. “For sure, Blondie,” Piper smiled.

Will glanced around the table and everybody was smiling at him. He felt satisfied and proud until he looked at Reyna, who was staring at him dryly, her face neutral. ‘She’s fun’ he thought and then, just because he couldn’t help himself, he winked at her. Her eyebrows furrowed but Will looked away and to Nico, who was already staring at him, and smiled. 

Will settled in his seat and relaxed slightly, absentmindedly listening to the conversations scattered across the lunch table. As he watched Nico and his friends, Will thought for the first time in a while that maybe things would be okay. 

------

They were three months into the school year and Will had made a few friends. There were Cecil and Lou Ellen, who were in his math and history classes, and there were the kids on the school soccer team, which Will had joined. Enough people that he would end up waving at someone every time he walked down the hallway. And thwas Percy, Annabeth, Jason, and that group, who would grin at him anytime he saw them or shout something teasingly.

But mostly, there was Nico. Nico and Will had become NicoandWill at some point and nobody could really say when. When they weren’t together, they were talking on the phone and when they weren’t talking on the phone, they were asleep or in the few painful class periods they didn’t have together. Will’s mom told them they were basically joined at the hip and while Nico flushed bright red, Will grinned and nodded. 

They hung out almost every day after they left school, usually at the library but sometimes Will’s house. Nico would sit on the bleachers while Will had soccer practice and read a book.  As soon as Will’s coach would call it a day, Will would sprint and grab his bag from the sidelines before rushing up to Nico and dragging him away. They’d walk to wherever they were going that day and Will would work on Biology homework and Nico would work on English homework and when they were both done, they would swap answers. Of course, Nico would change a few answers so they were wrong and Will would insert a few synonyms so sentences weren't word-for-word the same. Then, they would move to their other homework that would end up taking them three more hours than it needed to because they kept distracting each other. Sometimes they would eat dinner with Will’s family and sometimes Nico would drag them to McDonald’s (or one time, Seven-Eleven and they had slurpees and chex-mix for dinner), but they never went to Nico’s house. 

Sometimes, Will would ask hesitantly if they could go to his house instead but was always shut down, Nico’s voice becoming icier than it ever was with Will. “No,” Nico would state, leaving no room for Will to ever push back no matter how much he longed to, “We aren’t going there. You wouldn’t like it, it’s like a mausoleum.”

It frustrated Will, made him itchy with the desire to argue and convince him otherwise but he held his tongue when he would meet Nico’s eyes. They never matched the coolness of his tone, they were pliant and pleading, soft with an ache that Will recognized. So Will would just look away and scooch closer to the smaller boy until he could feel the heat radiating off his body and their knees would brush together. A quiet comfort that made his heart flutter. 

------

Winter break was approaching rapidly and as the days inched by, Will became tense with grief and anger. The relief he had been granted was slipping through his fingers and soon enough, it would be a year since the accident . He felt himself brimming with fury that he had thought was finally fading, but it must have just been the cyclical pull of a tide, receding so it could crash down again, hard and fast. He was anxious and irritable, always a single word away from snapping and everybody saw it. His family understood, they were all grieving too, and they gave him space.

At school, it was different. Will almost throttled Cecil when he made some joke about Will being on his period. The only thing that stopped him was Lou Ellen hitting Cecil as hard as she could and yelling at him, which normally would make Will laugh but this time he just set tensley, his jaw locked. At soccer practice, Will was relentless as he exhausted himself. His coach praised him for his new vigor but Will would ignore him and the burning in his legs as he sprinted and ran drills. He had hoped that maybe the release of energy would make him feel better but it just exhausted him physically, worsening his mood. 

Worst of all was Nico, who saw how Will was pulling away and into himself and feared it was something that he had done wrong. They still saw each other every day and followed the same routine, but instead of banter and teasing, it was mostly silence. Will could feel the tension between them and see the pained look on Nico’s face as he would say goodbye every night, but he couldn’t bring himself to really do anything other than try and fight the impending wave of grief and guilt and rage. 

Until one day, when they were in Will’s room working on homework, Nico spoke suddenly. “Are you,” he sucked in a breath, “Are you mad at me?”

Will looked at him suddenly, his eyes wide in shock and lips parted. He saw the way Nico was shifting anxiously, his face red as he looked anywhere other than Will’s eyes. 

“What?” Will asked, dumbly.

Nico furrowed his eyebrows and frowned. “You’re just,” he leaned his head back and stared up at the ceiling, “Different. Something is wrong, I’m not stupid. You’re upset and I don’t know why and it’s driving me crazy. You look so sad sometimes but,” he paused, “but sometimes you seem so angry . Like really, really angry. Did I do something wrong?” he asked weakly at the end, passively looking over to Will. 

Will didn’t really know what to say. He was used to reading people, to noticing the way their faces changed and eyes glinted so he could be what they wanted him to be. He was not used to being read. He felt a bizarre mix of anxiety and vulnerability and fear as he stared at Nico. Really, he should be used to Nico throwing him for loops but every time it happened, he was surprised. He gaped for a moment longer and then he met Nico’s eyes. Part of him was expecting the calculating, analytic gaze he saw when he looked at himself in the mirror but instead he was met with warm affection and concern and fear that seemed just as sharp as his own. It made his stomach drop and all of a sudden the wave crashed. 

Will trembled as his face crumbled and then he was pitching himself forward. He buried his face on Nico’s shoulder and then he was crying. Really, truly crying in a way that he hadn’t in months. Heaving sobs racked his body and he clutched the raven’s shirt in his fists. Nico didn’t react at first but then he wrapped his arms around him, rubbing his back soothingly. He whispered comfort and cooed, placing one hand on Will’s head and petting his hair which just seemed to make him cry harder. 

Will choked out an apology between sobs and Nico huffed. “Hey,” he whispered, “You don’t have anything to be sorry for. I’m sorry for making you cry.”

Neither said anything else after that while Will just cried into Nico’s shoulder. Despite the awkward and uncomfortable position and the fact that his shirt was getting soaked with snot and tears, Nico just kept rubbing soothing circles into his back and muttering quiet reassurances.Will was overwhelmed, by his heartache and his frustration that he couldn’t just keep it together. As his sobs subsided to a slower stream of tears and slightly hitching breaths, he pulled away from Nico and sat back on his knees. He stared at the ground, sniffling as he rubbed his nose. “I’m sorry,” he said weakly after a moment. 

“I already said you don’t have to be sorry,” Nico said softly. 

Will glanced up and Nico’s gaze made his breath hitch and lips tremble. “No!” Nico shouted slightly, launching forward and grabbing Will’s face in his hands, “Don’t cry! Do you want me to leave?”

“Please don’t go,” Will begged, leaning his cheek into Nico’s touch.

Nico tensed but didn’t remove his hands. “Okay,” he whispered.

After another moment of silence, Will spoke quietly, “I moved here from Texas.”

He paused as if waiting for Nico to respond. The raven stroked a thumb across his cheek and softly replied, “I know.”

He squeezed his eyes shut, “I moved here because my brothers died.”

Nico froze, his chest tightening, but didn’t say anything. 

“They died last December,” Will continued. “In a car accident. Their names were Michael and Lee. We were,” his voice broke, “We were driving home from Lee’s orchestra concert and a drunk driver hit us. Lee was killed instantly from the impact. But Micahel,” he heaved, “Michael died while I was holding his hand. They died right next to me and I couldn’t do anything . It hurts, like someone is trying to tear my chest open.  And I’m so angry all the time. It’s like I’m drowning and I thought it was getting better but then it came back, just as bad as it was when they first- when it first happened.”

Will opened his eyes and looked at Nico. His eyes were wide and shining, gazing at Will with such affection that for a moment he forgot everything besides Nico. And then he blinked and Will felt anxiety and regret wash over him. He felt weak and vulnerable and he tried to backtrack, “I shouldn’t have unloaded all that on you. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you or overwhelm you.”

His stomach dropped, realizing that he had just made another person he had to hide from. He braced himself for Nico to reject him, tell him that Will was too much for him, that he was freaked out. Panic welled in his chest and he bit his lip. 

Instead, Nico grabbed his hand and intertwined their fingers. “I’m not afraid of you, Will,” he said. 

The relief and euphoria that washed over Will nearly overwhelmed everything else he was feeling and he let out a shuddering breath. 

“I’m not ever going to be afraid of you. You’re,” Nico huffed, “ You . You’re not scary. I’m not overwhelmed. I’m happy that you told me, that you trust me.” 

Will squeezed their joined hands and bowed his head. 

“And I get it, Will,” Nico whispered, so quietly that for a moment Will thought he was imagining it, “I get what it feels like to, to drown .”

The blonde looked up curiously, his eyes prompting Nico to continue. “Um,” Nico’s voice was strained as he choked back his own tears, “A few years ago, my mom and sister died. Not at the same time. My mom died of cancer. And then, a few months later, Bianca” his voice broke with a sob, “My sister was hit by a car. She had run out of the house because of a fight with my father and I chased after her. Somebody saw it happen and pulled her onto the sidewalk and, oh god ,” Nico heaved and Will brought his free hand up to his face to wipe away the tears, “She was so still. And they were trying to give her CPR so I couldn’t hold her hand. I was kneeling beside her and she was dying and I couldn’t even touch her. They had to wash her blood off the sidewalk.”

Nico couldn’t talk anymore, he was breathing too erratically and then it was Will’s turn to hold him. He wrapped up the smaller boy in his arms and mumbled into his hair. Nico cried and Will held him as he heaved and wailed. All Will could think about was the boy in his arms and the way his chest felt warm and full, the emptiness of the last few weeks filled by devotion and tenderness. He started to run his fingers through Nico’s dark hair as he pulled him all the way into his lap. Nico wrapped his arms behind Will’s head as he calmed down slightly, his sobs slowing down. After a moment, he pulled away and looked Will in the eyes. Neither boy said anything but Will placed a hand on the side of Nico’s face, stroking his thumb gently across his cheek. They were both breathing erratically but somehow in sync, their chests rapidly falling and rising in tandem. Nico blinked and flickered his gaze down to Will’s lips.

And then, Will kissed him. It was chaste and it tasted like tears but it made Will feel like he was burning up. As he pulled back, Nico gasped and rested their foreheads together, their noses brushing slightly. 

“Will,” Nico breathed.

“Hmm?” Will hummed.

“Will,” he sighed again, not saying anything else. He leaned forward and pressed their lips together again for a moment before he buried his face in Will’s shoulder.

Will felt like a weight had been lifted from his chest as Nico clung to him. Adoration flowed through his veins as he felt puffs of air against his neck and he clutched the smaller boy’s shirt. He wanted to stay in that moment forever and for a moment, Will thought he might be able to. Then his mom knocked on his bedroom door and Nico flew out of his arms and away from him just as she pushed open the door. 

Will stared at her as she took in the sight of them both, tears stained faces and rumpled shirts and she smiled wearily. She didn’t say anything and Will wanted to be grateful but frustration flooded him as he saw Nico from the corner of his eyes, who was away from him, not touching him or looking at him. He frowned and his nose scrunched up but before he could express his annoyance, his mom spoke. “Hey boys, it’s getting kind of late. Nico, do you need a ride home?”

Nico cleared his throat and stood up, “Uh, no ma’am. But thank you.”

She smiled warmly at him, “Of course. Let me know if you need anything else.”

She walked away, leaving the door open. Will stood as well as Nico gathered his things and pulled out his phone. He stood awkwardly and shifted on his feet as Nico called someone to pick him up but as soon as he hung up, he stopped right in front of Will and looked up at him. Will smiled goofily back at him and reached a hand out slightly, wrapping it around the end of Nico's fingers. 

“Thank you,” Nico mumbled, smiling back at him.

Will wanted to shout that Nico had nothing to thank him for, that really Will should be thanking him . He also contemplated begging him not to leave but decided against it. Instead, he hugged Nico tightly and sighed. “I should be thanking you. Nico, you’re,” he paused, “Amazing.”

Nico didn’t say anything but Will could feel him smile with his face pressed against his shoulder. Will focused on the way heat radiated off of the smaller boy’s body and the way his hair smelled. ‘This is what I want’ Will thought, ‘This is why I’m here.’ Nico’s phone rang, signaling that his ride had arrived, and Will’ stomach dropped. 

He pulled away reluctantly but Nico shot up on his toes and kissed Will again, gently and quickly, but it made his face burn. He was frozen in place as Nico rushed out of his room, pausing at the door for a moment and looking over his shoulder to shoot a grin at Will. 

Long after Nico had left, Will was still standing there, his heart hammering and mind racing. He didn’t know to process all that had happened and part of him didn’t really want to, fearing that if he thought about it too much then it wouldn’t be real anymore. Will felt like he might fall apart and he loved it. Remembering the way Nico had looked at him and touched him and spoke to him and kissed him made his chest feel like it was going to burst and he welcomed it, craved it. He decided then and there that he would let himself be torn apart by that boy if that's what he wanted. Will would be anything Nico di Angelo wanted him to be, he just had to ask. 

Chapter Text

Will walked into the lunch room and immediately made a beeline for his table. He found it quickly in the crowd, scanning the faces at the table and locking his eyes on one in particular. Nico’s dark eyes were peering up at him, shining with amusement as he raised an eyebrow at him. Will smiled back, charming and adoring, as he sat beside him. Neither said anything as Nico pressed his knee to Will’s, locking their ankles next to one another.

“Will, my bro!” Percy exclaimed.

Nico rolled his eyes as he looked to Percy and frowned. Will looked at him without disdain, he was used to Percy’s teasing and overenthusiasm and he took it in stride, never letting his annoyance be seen. He let his smile stretch into something laidback and fond as he responded, “Hey, Percy. What’s up?”

“Oh nothing, we were just talking to Neeks here about his chemistry test. Isn’t it awfully funny how he does so badly on the tests but so well on the homework and labs?” Percy asked, his eyes flickering with mirth.

Will laughed, his fingers brushing against Nico’s thigh beneath the table, “Well, he can look at his notes for the homework and lab write-ups.”

“ His notes?” Percy questioned.

Nico jumped into the conversation, his gaze level and cold as he stared at Percy, “What about your economics homework, Percy? You’re saying that you do that all by yourself.”

Percy snapped his mouth shut, his eyes wide, and then he grinned, “Of course.”

“Oh? Please, explain aggregate demand to me. I want to be ready for when I take the class,” Nico said.

Percy smirked but didn’t say anything. Annabeth was chuckling quietly beside him and she placed a hand on his arm, “Yeah, Seaweed Brain, tell me about aggregate demand. We have a test on Monday, maybe I need a refresher.”

Percy paled and looked to her, “We do?” he mumbled quietly.

Annabeth threw her head back and laughed. It drew the attention of everybody else at the table who had been focused on their own conversations. Piper leaned forward towards Annabeth, “What’s so funny?”

“Percy knows nothing about economics,” Nico jumped in.

“Obviously,” Piper stated.

“Hey! Not nice!” Percy spluttered, “Nico copies off of Will!”

Nico scoffed and turned his head toward Will, his cheek nearly pressed against his shoulder. Will could feel the heat radiating off his face and it made his hair stand on end with the desire to pull Nico close to him. His thoughts were interrupted as Piper turned to look at them instead of Percy and Annabeth. She paused for a moment before grinning at the couple, “Obviously,” she repeated.

Jason gasped beside her before craning his head to look at them too. “Nico!” he feigned scandal, “Are you saying you are participating in academic dishonesty? How are you going to learn if you don’t do the work yourself?”

Nico scoffed, “Shut up, Jason.”

“Don’t sass me because I take your education seriously,” Jason said.

“It’s high school chemistry, I don’t think whether or not I’m actually the one doing packets about balancing chemical equations is going to make or break my entire educational career,” Nico told him dryly.

“And what if your teacher finds out?” Jason pressed.

“Oh, he totally knows already,” Will piped in, “He clearly just doesn’t care.”

Nico looked at Will again and smirked. It made Will’s heart flutter and he scooched closer to him still, their thighs pressing together and shoulders bumping. Jason huffed across the table and leaned back, but he was fighting back a smile as well. Still, neither boy turned their attention away from each other as they held eye contact. Will studied the color of Nico’s eyes, so dark they would be black if not for the glints of amber throughout, making them just different enough from the darkness of his pupils that he could see them dilate when Nico looked at him. His eyelashes were dark too, long and thick and gorgeous. Nico looking at him up through his eyelashes made Will’s entire body burn wonderfully. He sucked in a breath and bit his cheek, desperately trying to get a handle on his pounding heart. Just when he thought he had calmed down, Nico’s smirk broke into a wide smile, his nose scrunching and eyes crinkling beautifully. ‘Oh god,’ Will thought, his heart hammering again, ‘He’s so perfect.’

“You’re so perfect,” Will whispered.

Nico’s smile dropped and he blinked in surprise, his cheeks flushing. He turned away from Will as he cleared his throat and it made Will’s heart shatter. For a moment he contemplated begging Nico to look at him again, or simply tugging his chin toward him. Instead, Leo sat down abruptly at the end of the table and the world came crashing back into Will’s periphery. 

“Where have you been?” Piper asked Leo.

“The real question is where haven’t I been, Beauty Queen. Mechanics room, pottery studio, chemistry lab, teachers lounge. Things to do,” Leo said.

“Why?” Annabeth asked. 

“Supply collections,” Leo told her.

Everybody chuckled and Nico stuck his head out to glare at Jason. “You scold me for copying homework answers but not Leo for literally stealing?” he asked in outrage.

Jason blushed slightly but shrugged, “Yeah.”

“What the fuck?” Nico huffed.

“Language,” Jason said, “And it’s just different.”

Nico frowned and leaned forward more, “I’m not a child Jason and you’re not my fucking father.”

Will could see the tension and frustration in Nico’s shoulders so he brought his hand up to Nico’s lower back and tried to calm him down. Although the action was more for himself, something to distract him so he didn’t punch Jason in the nose himself. Jason smiled, not quite sensing Nico’s genuine anger as he continued to tease him, “Maybe not, but someone has to parent you.”

Normally, jabs at Nico’s father were fair game. Nico hated him and encouraged anybody who wished to tarnish his name. But Will knew how strenuous their relationship had been lately and he knew of Hades’s recent attempts to insert himself into Nico’s life and he knew how much Nico detested it. So instead of Nico laughing along and making a joke about his dad being shitty, he clenched his jaw and sat back abruptly. His arms were crossed and brought tightly to his chest and he turned his head away from Jason and everybody else, his nose brushing against Will’s curls. His reaction was clearly a surprise to everyone else and they all looked at him curiously or with concern. It was silent for a moment as Nico refused to respond and just sat stiffly, even as Will’s hand continued to rub soothingly against his back.

“Nico,” Jason said cautiously.

“Shut the fuck up, Jason,” Nico said coldly. 

Rationally, Will knew that Jason couldn’t have possibly known that this had very recently become a sensitive topic and that he can’t really be blamed. But that didn’t stop him from wanting to smash Jason’s face against the table until he apologized for upsetting Nico. He bit back the urge and instead leaned forward, looking past Nico and smiling hesitantly at Jason. 

“Jason,” he said calmly, “Not now.”

Jason looked at him quizzically, his eyes apologetic but confused. He backed off and turned to Piper. After a moment, conversation resumed hesitantly as they stopped looking at Nico, who hadn’t budged. When Will decided they were all distracted enough he leaned down to rest his chin on Nico’s shoulder and whisper in his ear. “He doesn’t know,” Will reminded him.

Nico didn’t say anything, his nose twitching and eyes fixed forward. Will decided to try a different approach, deciding that Nico probably didn’t want to hear about why he shouldn’t be angry at Jason. He took a breath and moved closer, his breath brushing against Nico’s ear. He continued, “I’m sorry that he said it though. It was stupid and insensitive.”

Nico slumped slightly, his arms dropping to his sides, a hand coming to rest on Will’s leg beside him. “You know, you’re awfully cute when you’re mad,” Will whispered, “I like it.”

He watched the blush creep up Nico’s neck as he scoffed quietly. “I wouldn’t say it’s a good idea to make me mad just so you can see me be cute .”

Will huffed out a laugh, his breath against Nico’s skin making him shiver, “I don’t like when you’re mad at me .”

He watched Nico smile softly and he decided to push his luck. “Although, I don’t think you really could be mad at me,” Will added.

Nico turned to face him, their faces centimeters apart as their noses brushed, “You seem like you’re trying to test that theory.”

Will smiled brightly at him, his eyes flickering across Nico’s face, “I would never.”

“I’m not sure if I believe you,” Nico teased.

“So,” Will started, “You should come over tonight. It’s a friday which means my mom is making fried chicken,” Will said softly. He didn’t really need to ask, Nico came over almost every day anyway. Still, he liked the way Nico would nod bashfully. 

Nico’s face dropped its soft amusement instantly, becoming cold and frustrated again. Will’s stomach dropped and his heart surged, “What’s wrong?” he asked quickly. 

Nico frowned and looked down, “I can’t,” he mumbled, “My father said we need to have dinner as a family tonight.” He spat out the word like it was poison on his tongue. 

Will felt a rush of annoyance and he frowned as well. Part of him considered convincing Nico to come over anyway, he knew that he could if he tried. He wanted Nico to come to his house and spend time with him like he always did and he hated that he couldn’t have what he wanted because of Nico’s father, who Will detested. Will clenched his jaw and moved his hand off of Nico’s back. 

“I’m sorry,” Nico mumbled.

Will was startled and he blinked stupidly, “Why?”

“For,” he huffed, “I don’t know. I guess for not being able to come over. Because you’re upset.”

“Hey,” Will whispered, placing his hand atop Nico’s, “Don’t be sorry. You didn’t do anything. And I’m not upset with you, never with you. I’m upset you have to spend an evening with your shitty dad.”

Nico didn’t say anything and Will sucked in a breath. “Will Hazel be there?” he asked.

“Yeah,” the smaller boy replied, “She said she would be.”

“And do you think she would ever let your dad pull some bullshit?” Will asked.

Nico huffed a laugh. “No,” he conceded.

“See? It will be alright. And if it isn’t, you can just come live with me while Hazel tears your dad a new one,” Will assured, silently thinking about how if anything did happen, he would never let Hades near Nico ever gain.

Nico smiled wryly and met Will’s eyes. “I kinda like you sometimes,” Nico told him.

“Oh really?” Will smiled, “Kinda? Sometimes? What an honor this is.”

Nico leaned away and shoved Will’s shoulder, “Nevermind, I take it back.”

“You wound me,” Will cried, clutching a hand to his chest.

“Such a drama queen,” Nico sighed. 

Annabeth looked over at them cautiously. Nico smiled softly at her and she smiled back, nudging Percy’s shoulder. Percy looked over as well and smiled, “Are you two done being gooey now?”

Nico spluttered, “We weren’t!”

Will grabbed Nico’s waist and placed a dramatic kiss on his cheek, “Yes, we were.”

Nico turned bright red and ripped himself from Will’s grasp. “You’re the worst !”

Will just laughed alongside Percy and Annabeth as he grabbed Nico again, pressing messy kisses to his cheek and jaw. Nico squirmed in his grasp but didn’t try to escape again, instead focusing on suppressing his laughter at Will’s antics. 

“You two are gross,” Percy teased.

“Shut up, Percy,” Nico said.

Will was sitting on his bed, clad in pajamas and trying to focus on the homework in front of him and failing. It was somehow infinitely more difficult to complete it when Nico wasn’t there too, even though they always distracted each other anyway. It was especially bad as his mind was racing with worry for Nico as well. Nico was supposed to call him when dinner with his dad was over but it was nearing eight o’clock and Will hadn’t heard anything. He had asked his mom a hundred times already if anyone had called and she told him not to ask again. So he waited anxiously on his bed, math book open on his lap as he strained to listen for the phone ringing.

Instead, he was startled by a bang on his window. He whipped his head to look. It was dark but he could see a figure at his windowsill, a hand pressed against the glass. He shoved his homework from his lap and walked over cautiously, trying to make out the face. Will knew that he should be afraid by a mysterious finger banging on his window at night. His most basic instincts were telling him to get away, to run and tell his parents. But a bigger part of him was curious and convinced that nothing could truly harm him. So he approached and as he stood in front of the window, his heart jumped to his throat and he let out a strangled sound. He rushed to open it, grabbing the person outside and pulling them in quickly. The force of his tug sent them both tumbling back, the figure landing on top of Will in a huff. 

“Nico!” Will cried, immediately bringing his hands to the side of Nico’s face. “What happened? How did you get up here? What’s wrong?” 

Nico sat up but didn’t pull away from Will. He squeezed his eyes shut, “The fire escape.”

“What?” Will asked.

“You asked how I got up here. The fire escape,” he mumbled.

Will sat on his knees in front of him, his thumbs brushing across his cheeks and pushing the hair from his face. “Why?” he asked again.

Nico looked up and met Will’s eyes for the first time. The look in them made Will’s heart stop, desperate and panicked. “I-'' Nico's voice broke, “I had to get out.”

“What happened?”

Nico took a heaving breath and Will watched the panic well up in him. But as he spoke again, Will saw how angry Nico was too. “I hate him,” Nico seethed. 

“Your father?” Will clarified.

“ Yes ,” Nico snarled, “I hate him. He hasn’t been a parent since Bianca died, he left me to mourn alone, to survive alone. And now he thinks that after all this time he can just step back into my life and tell me what to do, where I can go, who I can see.”

Will tensed at his words and brough one hand down from Nico’s face and placed gently on his waist. He spoke softly, “What did he say?”

Nico looked away, suddenly downcast and his anger deflated slightly. He brought his hands up and gripped Will’s shirt, clinging to him. His silence filled Will with dread. “What did he say?” Will pressed.

“He said we spend too much time together and tried to tell me that I can’t see you anymore, not until he decides what is and isn’t okay for me,” he spat out, “Like he has any idea what's good for me, what I need .”

The fury that flooded Will was consuming for a moment. His grip on Nico’s waist tightened as he choked back the urge to find Hades and smash his head in. ‘How dare he?’ Will thought, ‘How dare he have the audacity to try and take Nico away from me?’ His face contorted in uncontrollable anger for a moment but it was washed away as the anxiety and fear hit. He was terrified that Nico was going to be pulled away from him. The thought made his stomach lurch and hands shake. He bit his cheek and swallowed, trying to push down the terror and anger, hide it before it overwhelmed him. Still, Nico saw it all and his eyes flashed for a moment, a look Will didn’t recognize. Nico uncurled one hand from Will’s shirt and brought it to the side of his face, his fingers woven in golden curls. “I don’t care,” Nico whispered, “I don’t care what he thinks and I don’t care what he says. He doesn’t get to just decide anything for me. I’m not going to stop seeing you, ever.”

Will stared at Nico, lips parted and eyes wide. He snapped his mouth shut after a moment and tipped his head forward, resting his forehead against Nico’s. He sighed at the contact and Nico gripped at his hair. “I promise, Will,” Nico said, “I’m not going anywhere.”

Will kissed him softly. Nico gasped quietly and kissed back, chasing Will’s lips when he pulled away. Will smiled and pressed another chaste kiss to his lips as consolation. “Me too,” Will whispered, “I’m not going anywhere. I’m not going to leave and I’m not going to let anyone take you away from me.”

There was a knock at Will’s door and they both froze. “Will?” his dad called from the other side.

Will sucked in a breath, “Yeah?” he called back.

“Are you okay? We heard a thud earlier,” he said.

“Uh, yeah, Dad. I just-” Will paused, “Dropped my math book. I’m fine.”

There was silence for a moment and Will thought maybe he had walked away but then his dad spoke again. “Will, I know you’re worried about Nico,” Will met Nico’s eyes, “But I’m sure he’s fine. And maybe it’s good that you two are spending a night apart.”

“Really, it’s fine, Dad,” Will called out, “I’m uh, going to bed, actually. I have a test tomorrow.”

“Will,” he started again.

“Goodnight, Dad,” Will said.

There was a pause and then, “Goodnight.”

They stayed silent for another moment, listening to Will’s dad’s steps recede. When they no longer heard them, they both let out a sigh and then looked at each other again and burst out laughing. Nico slapped a hand over Will’s mouth and shushed him. “He’ll come back!” Nico warned, grinning and suppressing his own laughter. 

Will let go of Nico and stood up, rushing up to his bedroom door and locking it as quietly as possible. When he turned back around, Nico had moved to sit on Will’s bed. He moved and sat beside him, grabbing his hand and intertwining their fingers. “You were worried about me?” Nico teased, looking at Will.

Will scoffed, “Shut up, of course I was.”

Nico tipped his head and rested it on Will’s shoulder, scooching closer.

“Stay here with me tonight?” Will asked quietly.

Nico didn’t lift his head as he sighed, “I don’t know.”

“Please?” Will begged.

“I don’t want you to get in trouble,” Nico told him.

“I won’t. And if I do, I don’t care . Please , stay with me.”

“Okay,” Nico whispered, “I’ll stay.”

Will smiled and squeezed Nico’s hand. Nico lifted his head from Will’s shoulder and looked at him, his eyes studying the side of his face. “Do you have pajamas I can borrow?” he asked.

Will thought about Nico wearing his clothes and almost keeled over. He was sure that Nico could see the blush on his face and the way that he gulped. “Yeah,” he said, his voice cracking.

Nico laughed and stood up, moving in front of Will, who looked at him in awe, “Can you give them to me?” 

Will nodded fervently and jumped to his feet as Nico took a step back. He pulled out an old t-shirt and some pajama pants from his dresser and handed them to the smaller boy who took them with a smirk on his face. Will stared at him with wide eyes, his mind two seconds away from melting. 

“Uh, can you turn around?” Nico asked, raising his eyebrows. 

“What?” Will asked dumbly, “Oh. Oh yeah, of course.” 

He turned around and faced the wall, holding his breath. He heard Nico rustling with his clothes behind him and the distinct sound of a zipper. He nearly flinched as his hands twitched at his side. His brain was a constant loop of ‘Holy shit, holy shit, Nico is behind me with no clothes on. Nico is behind me with my clothes on. Holy shit.’ His heart was nearly beating out of his chest and he could feel the blush creeping up his neck. 

“Will?” Nico called from behind him, “You can turn around now.”

Nico was standing awkwardly, clutching his balled up clothes to his chest. Will’s shirt hung off his frame loosely, even though it was a few years old. The pants were bunched at his ankles, also far too big for him. Will cleared his throat and took a breath, “You can put your clothes wherever.”

Nico looked around before walking to the corner of Will’s room and placing them on the floor gently. He turned back around and crossed his arms self consciously across his chest as Will sat back down on his bed, his back to the headboard. Will looked at him and cocked his head, “Are you coming?”

“Do you want me to sleep on the floor?” Nico asked.

“Obviously not,” Will said quickly, “But uh, if you’re uncomfortable I can.”

“No!” Nico all but shouted, “I mean, no . It’s fine. I’m fine with it.”

“Cool,” Will tried to say nonchalantly, his face red, “So, are you coming?”

Nico walked over slowly and climbed onto Will’s bed, sitting beside him carefully. They weren’t touching, which was a rarity for them, and the room was tense. Will broke the silence, “I’m, uh, gonna turn the light off.”

“Cool,” Nico whispered, scooching beneath the covers of Will’s bed and laying down. 

The light flickered off and Will got under the covers as well, laying stiffly beside Nico. They stared up at the ceiling in silence, both too nervous to say anything or move even an inch. Will’s heart was still pounding and he was desperately trying to keep his breathing even. 

“I’ve never done this before,” Nico mumbled suddenly.

“Done what? Showed up at your boyfriend’s window in the middle of the night or slept in your boyfriend’s bed?” Will teased.

“Yes to both. But also, slept in anyone’s bed, besides my sister’s. Also, had a boyfriend,” Nico said.

“Neither have I,” Will whispered.

They were quiet for another moment and Will fidgeted, working up the courage to speak again. 

“Do you wanna like, cuddle?” he asked.

Nico groaned, covering his face with his hands. “I hate that word,” Nico complained.

Will smiled, “What word? Cuddle ?”

“Yes,” Nico groaned. 

“Would you prefer snuggle ? Or spoon ?”

“No, absolutely not!”

“Oh, I know! Embrace ! Or maybe, nes-”

Nico cut him off. “Shut up!” he grumbled as he basically blanketed himself on top of Will’s chest, his face buried in the crook of his neck and one leg thrown over the blonde’s. He squirmed for a moment, getting comfortable against his boyfriend. 

Will thought that maybe he was going to burst in that moment. His brain was entirely blank as Nico settled against him but then he hesitantly wrapped his arms around the smaller boy’s torso, pulling him closer. Nico sighed contentedly and Will could feel his breath against his skin. It made him shiver but he just smiled and bit back a giggle of pure giddiness that was threatening to bubble out. “I can feel you smiling,” Nico mumbled into his neck. 

“I’m not,” Will whispered back.

“You totally are. Stop,” he muttered.

“Okay,” the taller boy conceded, still grinning.

“I’ll pretend that I can’t hear the smile that’s still on your face,” Nico told him.

“Goodnight,” Will said.

Nico sighed, “Goodnight, doofus.”

Will woke up the next morning, with Nico still on top of him, to what sounded like his door shutting. He looked up in a panic but the door seemed undisturbed, along with the rest of his room. ‘I locked it last night,’ he tried to assure himself. He listened carefully for a moment and he distantly heard his mom in the kitchen.

Nico began to stir on top of him and Will craned his head down to watch him. Nico blinked his eyes open groggily and scrunched up his nose, pouting at the sunlight hitting his face directly. The sight of him made Will’s heart stop. He lifted his head from Will’s chest and met his eyes blearily, a smile stretching across his face lazily. 

“Hi,” Nico mumbled, his voice gravelly.

“Hi,” Will repeated, just as softly.

Nico laid his head back down and groaned, “What time is it?”

“Uh, eight-ish I think,” Will told him.

“That’s so early,” Nico muttered, “Why are you awake?”

“I thought I heard my door open,” Will said.

“What?” Nico shot up, “Oh god, what ?”

“Calm down,” Will sat up as well, “I don’t think anybody came in.”

“Didn’t you lock your door?” Nico asked, his voice strained.

“ Yes ,” Will assured him, “It’s fine, I promise. I’ll even get up and check, make sure that my parents aren’t suspicious.”

Nico sat back on his knees beside him and looked at Will with wide eyes. His hair was messy and cheeks flushed and Will thought for a second that maybe he would actually just stay here and stare at Nico for a little longer. But Nico shoved him gently, “Go!” he commanded. 

Will swung his legs outs and stood up, padding quietly to his door. He looked over his shoulder and saw Nico still sitting on his bed, in his clothes, looking sleepy and cute, and he was overwhelmed by the sight. It distracted him enough that when he twisted his door knob, he didn’t notice that the door was not locked. He sucked in a breath and turned away, stepping out of his room. He walked down the hallway and into the kitchen where his mom was standing at the stove, flipping pancakes out of a pan, and his dad was seated at the kitchen table, a cup of coffee in hand. Will slid into the chair across from him just as his mom turned around to set a plate of pancakes on the table. He smiled up at her, “Good morning.”

She raised her eyebrows as she sat down as well but didn’t say anything. Anxiety ran up his spine as he looked to his dad, who was staring at him with the same expression. He took a breath and collected himself, sitting up straighter. “What’s wrong?” Will asked.

“Are you going to invite Nico to breakfast?” his mom asked.

Internally, Will choked. He cocked his head and feigned ignorance, “What?”

“Nico, you know, the boy you’re hiding in your room. Are you going to invite him to breakfast?” Naomi pressed.

For a moment, Will was unsure if he should continue to deny it. He decided that was stupid and part of him wanted to not even pretend to be sorry, because he wasn’t , but he knew well enough that would just make his parents angrier. So he chose to play remorseful and he gulped, dropping his gaze. 

“Nothing to say?” his dad questioned.

“I’m sorry,” he said, forcing his voice to crack.

“That doesn’t do much now, William,” his mother said sternly. 

“Still,” Will continued, “But he couldn’t stay at his house and he didn’t have anywhere else to go.”

It wasn’t really a lie, just a misappropriation of the truth. He lifted his gaze and looked at his mom, keeping his gaze apologetic and pleading. Will could see the way she softened slightly and he knew exactly what to say. “Mama,” he spoke gently, “I really am sorry. I just, didn’t know what else to do.”

“You could have told us, Will,” she said, her voice having lost the sharp edge.

“I thought you would say no,” he told her.

“Of course we wouldn’t,” she looked at him pointedly, “You should know better.”

He hung his head again and slouched. “If Nico ever needs a place to stay again, of course he can come here. But you need to tell us. You can’t sneak boys into your bedroom,” his dad said.

“It isn’t boys ,” Will sighed, “It’s Nico .”

“Exactly,” his dad said, “Nico, your boyfriend.”

Will huffed and frowned but his dad continued, “We understand why you did it. But it can’t ever happen again. And you’re grounded for two weeks. That means no going to the library after school, no going out on the weekends. You go to school and you come home, that’s it.”

Will’s anger choked him for a moment. He’d had enough of people trying to stop him from seeing Nico, it wasn’t going to happen and it pissed him the fuck off. Still, the only expression of his anger was a twitch of nose. He kept his eyes locked on the table.

“Do you understand?” his dad asked.

“Yes,” Will said shortly. 

“Now,” his mom interjected, “Go get him. He needs to eat breakfast. He’s always been too skinny and if he had as difficult of an evening as you say, he especially needs some good food.”

Will pushed his chair back and stood up, stalking out of the kitchen and back to his room. He took a breath to calm himself down before he pushed his door open again. Nico was sitting on his bed with his knees pulled up to his chest. He looked up anxiously as Will walked in and launched forward, perching himself on the edge of the bed. “So?” he asked expectantly.

Will sighed, “My parents know you’re here.”

“What?” Nico croaked, his face paling.

Will stepped forward, grabbing one of his hands. “It’s fine,” he assured, “They aren’t mad. Well, they aren’t mad at you . I told them that you couldn’t stay in your house last night and you didn’t have anywhere else to go.”

“Oh god,” Nico groaned, “I knew I shouldn’t have stayed.”

Will frowned at his words and Nico glanced up at him. “Not that I didn’t like it, I did. I really did, but now this is going to be so awkward and your parents aren’t going to like me anymore,” Nico rambled.

“They definitely still like you. My mom made pancakes and invited you to breakfast,” Will told him.

“That’s it?” Nico asked.

“No, they grounded me too. But I don’t really care all that much, it isn’t going to stop me from seeing you.”

“Will!” Nico scoffed, “That’s not good.”

“Yeah, it kinda sucks. But like I said, I don’t particularly care. Now come one,” Will tugged Nico up from the bed, “They’re expecting you.”

“Maybe I should just leave,” Nico mumbled.

“No,” Will gripped his hand tighter as he pulled him toward the kitchen, “You’re staying for breakfast.”

“I really don’t think I should.”

“Too late,” Will said, pulling him into the kitchen with his parents. 

Nico froze in the doorway as Will’s parents smiled warmly at him. “Good morning, Nico,” his mom said kindly.

His face turned bright red and he mumbled something indiscernible. Will tugged him again, toward the table. He released his hand as he sat down and nodded to the other open chair.

“Kayla isn’t up yet,” Naomi said.

Nico sat dawn cautiously, his hands at his sides and his eyes wide in fear like a deer. 

“Help yourself,” she said, gesturing to the plate in front of him and the pancakes on the table. 

Will immediately picked some up with a fork and put them on Nico’s plate for him, raising an eyebrow and smiling. ‘ Eat’ he mouthed at him.

Nico picked up his utensils carefully and slowly cut off a piece of pancake.

Lester and Naomi were watching Nico with concern. They all ate in silence, only the sound of chewing and scraping utensils echoing in the kitchen. Nico kept his gaze down the entire time, his hands trembling and making his fork clatter occasionally. Under the table, Will stuck a leg out and locked ankles with Nico. It made him jump but he didn’t pull his leg away. As they finished eating, Naomi spoke carefully, “Do you need anything, Nico?”

He looked up, visibly flustered. “Uh, no ma’am,” he stuttered, “But thank you for breakfast. I really should be going soon, though.”

“Are you sure?” she asked, her eyes warm.

Nico nodded, “Yes ma’am. Thank you again.”

Naomi turned to Will, “Help him get his things,” she told him.

Both boys stood up and moved to leave the kitchen. Nico was stiff as he walked and he froze again as Naomi called out to him. “Nico?” he turned to face her, “If you ever need anything, you can always ask. You don’t need to sneak in through Will’s window.”

Will snickered as Nico turned bright red. “Thank you,” his voice cracked, “I appreciate it. And, uh, sorry for sneaking in through a window.”

Will grabbed the smaller boy’s hand again and pulled him from the room as his dad called out, “Have a good day. And Will, you better not leave with him.”

Will shut the door as they got back in his room and Nico immediately groaned, “Oh my god! That was awful!”

“Oh please, it wasn’t that bad,” Will said.

“Yes it was!” Nico shouted as he grabbed his clothes from the corner he set them.

“Okay, it was pretty bad,” he conceded.

“Turn around,” Nico commanded.

Will did as he was told and gulped and he heard Nico shuck off his pajamas, Will’s pajamas, and tug on his own clothing. “I am so embarrassed,” Nico sighed.

“Uh huh,” Will mumbled, desperately trying to focus on the wall in front of him and not the thought of Nico behind him.

“You aren’t listening to me,” Nico complained.

“Yes, I am,” Will said, his voice weak.

“You can turn around,” Nico told him, “And you clearly weren’t.”

“I was,” Will insisted as he turned around, “I was just distracted.”

“By what?” Nico asked, his brow furrowed.

“Uh,” Will laughed tensely, “My boyfriend was taking his clothes off behind me.”

“ Oh ,” Nico mumbled, blushing and looking to the floor.

“Sorry,” he shrugged.

“Um, it’s fine,” Nico said, biting his lip, “I really should go. Hazel is probably worried.”

Will nodded and stepped forward, grabbing Nico by the waist and pulling him close, “Yeah, you should.”

Nico looked up at him and smirked, “You don’t want your parents to get even angrier.”

“That would be bad,” Will agreed, leaning down.

“You’re already grounded,” he whispered.

“Mmhmm,” the taller boy hummed in acknowledgement.

“We won’t see each other outside of school for two weeks,” Nico said, raising up on his toes.

Will kissed his cheek and whispered, “How terrible.”

“Truly,” Nico sighed, “Because you would never break the rules.”

A kiss was pressed to Nico’s jaw, “Never.”

“Not even for me.”

A kiss to the juncture of his throat, “Nope.”

“What a shame.”

A kiss to the corner of his mouth, “Yes, shameful.”

“So you better give me a pretty good goodbye kiss.”

“Of course,” Will whispered. 

He kissed Nico soundly, the smaller boy’s lips pliant and soft. He raised a hand to cup his jaw, his lips moving smoothly against Nico’s. He worked his mouth open and Nico sighed into the kiss. It made Will smile, the kiss becoming chaste for a moment. He could feel the pout on Nico’s lips and surged forward, deepening it again. Nico’s hands made their way into Will’s hair, gripping the curls tightly as he tried to pull him down lower. Absentmindedly, Will thought about trying to pick Nico up but he knew they had a time limit and that would make it so much harder to pull away when they needed to. But as Nico sighed again, all thoughts flew out the window. Will was desperately trying to coax sounds from Nico’s throat, kissing him insistently. When Nico pulled back, Will chased his lips. It just made the smaller boy smile as he lowered himself down from standing on his toes. Neither said anything as they caught their breath, still clinging to each other.

“See you Monday?” Nico asked quietly after a moment.

“Yeah, I’ll have figured out what to do about being grounded by then,” Will assured.

“You better,” Nico teased, “We promised that we wouldn’t ever be pulled apart and I’m going to hold you to that.”

“I know,” Will whispered, “And we still won’t. I won’t let it happen because I love you.”

It was the first time either of them had said it out loud, but they’d both been thinking it for months. Of course Will loved him, Nico was his person, his purpose. He knew that even now, at sixteen, and he knew when they kissed the first time. He knew on the day that they met and his breath caught in his throat at the very sight of him. 

“I love you too,” Nico whispered back, his voice thick with adoration.

Will felt euphoric, entirely engulfed by the pure, unadulterated love he felt for the boy in front of him. He grinned and kissed Nico again, gently this time. It somehow left them both even more breathless than before.

“Get out of here,” Will mumbled, although it was the last possible thing he wanted in that moment.

As Nico climbed back out his window and smiled at him again, Will’s heart was simultaneously breaking as he watched him go and bursting as he thought about the look in his eyes when he said that he loved Will. He watched him climb down the fire escape and when he reached the ground, Nico looked back up and waved. Will waved back, even after Nico had turned away and started walking home.

‘I love him’ he thought, ‘More than anything, than anybody, than myself.’

Chapter Text

They had finished their homework hours ago and were laying side by side on Will’s bed, hands clasped together tightly. Nico was staring up at the ceiling and Will was staring at Nico. The smaller boy was talking animatedly, something about Percy or Jason, and Will felt bad for not really listening, but he couldn’t help but be distracted. He tuned out every time he watched Nico’s eyelashes brush across his cheeks as he blinked, or when his nose would scrunch up when he smiled, or the way his lips moved as he spoke. It wasn’t his fault that Nico was so pretty. Occasionally, Will would mutter some sound of acknowledgement or focus just enough to huff out a laugh at the right points in Nico’s story. He squeezed their intertwined hands and it made Nico smile in the middle of his sentence but he didn’t pause his ramblings, except for the slight hitch of his breath. 

‘I adore him,’ Will thought. 

Will no longer became overwhelmed by affection for Nico because it was just his constant state. He spent every waking moment loving Nico more than anything in the world and when he slept, his dreams were filled with dark hair and dark eyes and high cheekbones and a smooth voice. Will couldn’t bring himself to imagine his life without Nico anymore because that wouldn’t just mean that he was alone again, it would be like ripping out a part of himself. He wanted everything with Nico, he wanted every second of the future and he wanted every second of today. He wanted to know everything about Nico and he wanted Nico to know everything about him . His ambitions, his dreams, his fears, his deepest and darkest impulses. Will took a breath and blinked, concentrating again on Nico’s voice. 

“And of course, Percy took a major hit like five minutes in and had to basically sit out for the rest of the day. He just kept shouting suggestions for the rest of the party. At this rate, this campaign is going to last forever,” Nico ranted.

Will cleared his throat, “Isn’t that what Percy always does, though?’

“I mean, yeah, but I’ve told him a million times to not be so stupid,” he defended.

“It’s Percy,” Will snorted, “That’s kinda just who he is. Maybe you should make the campaigns Percy-proof.”

Nico groaned, “That’s basically what Percy said, that I should write the campaigns so that he can’t get knocked out by the first troll.”

“Maybe you should.”

Even if he couldn’t see the downturn of his lips or the way his nose twitched, Will would have been able to hear Nico’s pout in his voice. “Hey! Don’t take his side! I’m not gonna write a super easy campaign because Percy doesn’t ever learn from his mistakes!” Nico complained.

Will laughed, “I’m not taking his side! I’m just saying that Percy probably isn’t going to learn how to actually play to win.”

“You don’t win ,” Nico scoffed, “And you totally are taking his side. You’re my boyfriend, you have to take my side. Even if Percy will never learn.”

“Okay,” Will conceded, “Percy is dumb and you are right.”

“I know!” Nico exclaimed, before softening his voice, “Thank you.”

“Anytime, darling,” Will said.

He saw the blush that crept up Nico’s neck and grinned. He looked away from Nico and back up at the ceiling, steeling his nerves. Neither said anything for a moment and Will took a deep breath. “Hey Nico?” he asked quietly.

“Yeah?” Nico whispered back.

Will’s voice was hesitant, “Can I tell you something?”

“Anything,” Nico promised.

“You have to,” Will gulped, “You have to promise to let me finish. And that you aren’t going to freak out or leave.”

“Never,” Nico squeezed their hands and scooched closer so their shoulders bumped, “I promised you that I wasn’t going to leave, ever.”

Will sucked in a breath and spoke slowly, “Sometimes I have these thoughts,” he paused, “Urges, really. Uh, dark stuff. Sometimes it’s just questions or curiosities. But sometimes it’s,” he took a shuddering breath, “It’s different. Worse. I think about what it would be like to cut someone open or smash their face in. Nico, I-” his voice broke, “I want to kill people.”

The room was silent and Will’s heart was in his throat. He was certain that this was too far, that he had said too much and pushed someone, the only one that mattered, away again. Regret was bitter on his tongue and he desperately wanted to take back what he confessed. He could live with suppressing this part of himself if it meant keeping Nico. He squeezed his eyes shut and opened his mouth to beg Nico to forget what he just said, but Nico spoke before he could.

“Do you ever want to hurt me?” Nico asked in a quiet voice. 

Will’s stomach lurched. The idea that Nico ever thought he wanted to hurt him made him nauseous. He shot up on the bed, releasing Nico’s hand as he turned to face him in a panic. “No!” he exclaimed, “No! Never! I swear, I have never, ever thought about hurting you.”

Nico sat up as well and Will reached for him, placing a hand gently on the side of his face and one on his waist and pulling him close. Nico didn’t flinch or pull away, if anything, he leaned into the touch. Will continued to babble in a panic, “Nico, I need you to believe me. I have never wanted to hurt you. You’re my everything. I couldn’t , not ever.”

Nico brought a hand up and brushed his fingers across Will’s cheek. He met Will’s eyes and spoke softly, “I believe you, Will. I trust you.”

Will sighed and dropped his head forward, resting it on Nico’s shoulder. “Do you hate me?” he mumbled into the fabric of Nico’s sweatshirt.

“No,” Nico said, “Never. I could never hate you. Those things you think, it’s okay.”

“I used to think that I was actually going to. Kill someone, I mean,” Will said.

“And? Are you?” Nico asked, and Will could hear the hesitation in his voice.

“I thought some people deserved it. That they did more harm then they ever would good. But then,” his breath hitched, “After Michael and Lee. After I saw what death did, what it brought. After I felt it, I realized that I couldn’t. Because as much as those people, like the man that hit our car, don’t deserve to be alive, to take up space on the planet, it isn’t them that would truly suffer. They wouldn’t have to feel the agony, they would just be nothing. And I can’t condemn others to suffer for them even more.”

Nico furrowed his eyebrows and Will pulled his hand away from his face. “I don’t think that’s true,” Nico said softly.

“What?” Will questioned.

“I mean, about the suffering. You suffered because Michael and Lee were good. They were your brothers, they loved you and they made your world better. But for the people like the driver that killed them, they aren’t good. I don’t think anybody loved that man the way you loved Michael and Lee. I mean, how could they? They wouldn’t be missed or mourned in the same way, you wouldn’t be making anyone suffer, not like how you did.”

Will blinked in confusion and tried to suppress the excitement bubbling in his chest, “What do you mean?”

Nico swallowed and broke away from Will’s gaze, “I just mean, you wouldn’t really be hurting anyone. Who would miss a murderer like the one that caused your accident?”

“If I killed people, I would be a murderer too,” Will said cautiously.

“Not really,” Nico told him, “It would be like preventive action. Who knows what that man will do next? You’d be taking the bad away before it could get worse.”

Will bit the inside of his cheek to keep the smile from spreading across his face. “So what you’re saying is, you want me to kill people?” he asked.

Nico blushed bright red and looked down, “No. That is not what I’m saying,” he huffed, “I guess I just mean that it wouldn’t be a deal breaker. For me.”

Will blinked and couldn’t hold back his laugh, unadulterated joy spilling out. Nico looked at him, bewildered, and before he could say anything, Will grabbed the sides of his face and kissed him. It was sloppy and chaste because he couldn’t stop smiling but he didn’t know what else to do. When he pulled away, he laughed again and pressed their foreheads together. “I love you,” he whispered.

Nico sighed and smiled hesitantly, leaning into Will’s touch, “I love you too.”

“You are incredible,” Will mumbled, placing a hand on Nico’s waist and tugging until the smaller boy clambered into his lap, “Truly amazing. You are my whole world and I don’t know what I would do without you.”

Nico wrapped his arm behind Will’s head and closed his eyes. “Me too,” he said, “I adore you and I promise I won’t ever leave,” Will could feel him tense in his hold, “But Will I-”

Will cut him off as fear ran down his spine, “What’s wrong?”

 “I’m scared,” Nico whispered.

Will felt like ice water had just been dumped on him. His stomach dropped and he lifted his head, “Of me?”

“Of losing you,” Nico whispered, his eyes flickering across Will’s face, “I’m terrified of losing you. I don’t want anyone to take you away from me. And if you kill people, you don’t know what could happen. It would be dangerous. You could get hurt, or arrested, or you could die,” he was clutching Will desperately, “Will, you have to swear that you’ll be safe. I couldn’t handle it if anything happened. I couldn’t-”

“Hey,” Will cooed, “Hey, it’s okay. I’m fine, I’m right here. Nothing is going to happen to me, I promise.”

Nico nodded and leaned in slightly, Will could feel his breath against his lips. “I love you,” Will told him.

The smaller boy relaxed in his hold completely but didn’t say anything, instead closing the distance between them and kissing him soundly. It wasn’t joyful like before, Will could taste the anxiety on Nico’s tongue and it made him want to kiss him until the only thing he ever felt was love. He ran his hands down Nico’s sides, stopping to dig his fingers into his hips and pull him closer still. He grazed his teeth across Nico’s lower lip and the smaller boy sighed. Will swallowed the sound and bit down harder, pulling louder noises from his boyfriend with every action. As Nico wound his fingers in the blonde’s curls and tugged, Will felt more divine than any religion could ever make him. He felt like a devout man worshipping at his personal temple, completely and irrevocably overwhelmed by reverence. The idea that Nico could be anywhere other than at his side felt like blasphemy, so he kissed Nico with all the devotion that he felt. 

He trailed his lips down and across his jaw, pressing insistent kisses to his skin. Nico tipped his head back, exposing his throat for Will to suck and bite at. As he dragged his teeth along his pulse point, Nico let out a whimpering moan that made Will feel like his blood was burning.

“I love you, I love you,” Nico praised, his voice breathy and weak.

Will smiled as sucked at his throat, slipping a hand beneath Nico’s sweatshirt and tracing his fingers across his spine. The raven shuddered and bit his lip and Will could feel the moan he was biting back under his lips.

“Beautiful,” Will sighed against his skin. 

Nico gripped Will’s hair and dragged his head up so he could kiss him properly. Nico’s mouth felt like fire against his and Will craved the feeling of being set aflame. He tried to deepen the kiss, speed it up and make it as hot and heavy as Will felt, but Nico would pull back slightly every time. The smaller boy kept the kiss slow and desperate and Will felt like he was balancing precariously on the edge of something so close to being heaven. Eventually, Nico pulled back fully and smiled as Will pouted. He pressed a soft kiss to his mouth again as consolation. Will chased his lips but he just smiled wider and brought a hand to the side of the taller boy’s face, holding it in place as he dragged his fingers across his cheek. 

“Thank you,” Will muttered, his eyes fluttering closed.

 “You don’t have anything to thank me for. I promised that I wouldn’t leave and I meant it,” Nico told him.

“Still, thank you for promising in the first place, for loving me,” Will said softly.

“Always,” Nico whispered, “I will always love you.”

Will believed him, and if not because he trusted Nico more than anything, then because he decided he simply couldn’t live in a world where Nico didn’t love him.

Chapter Text

Will set the last box down in Nico’s dorm room and sighed. He felt arms snake around his waist and a face press against his back. “Hey there,” he grinned.

“Thank you,” Nico mumbled from behind him.

“Of course,” Will said, turning around in his boyfriend’s grip so Nico could mush his face into his chest.

The blonde wrapped Nico in his arms, relishing in the feel of the smaller boy’s body against him. He wanted to cling to him constantly, to never stop touching him or let him out of his sight and this felt like Nico was going away. “I’m going to miss you,” Will whispered into his hair.

Nico scoffed, “You’re so dramatic.”

Will pulled back and pouted, placing a hand gently against Nico’s cheek, “I will . I always miss you.”

“Your dorm is literally on the floor below me,” Nico reminded him, “We are closer to each other than we were before.”

“Irrelevant,” Will said.

Nico leaned into Will’s hand against his face, “Very relevant, actually. You can come up here, or I can go down there, any time. We will see each other all the time. You might even get sick of me.”

“Never,” Will sighed, “I get sick when I don’t see you.”

“You’re so cheesy,” Nico cringed, “It’s gross.”

“You wound me!” Will exclaimed, “And I know that you love it.”

Nico pushed up on his toes and brushed their noses together, “Maybe I do.”

Will leaned down the rest of the way and kissed him in response. Nico immediately brought his hands up from Will’s waist to wrap behind his neck, his fingers buried in the curls at the back of his head. The blonde swiped his tongue across Nico’s bottom lip and the boy parted them immediately, sighing. The sound made shivers run up Will’s spine and every hair stand on end, like it always did, and god if it wasn’t the most divine thing. He kissed Nico deeper, licking into his mouth and trying to pull more sounds from him. He dragged the hand on Nico’s cheek down, trailing his fingers smoothly across his throat and collar bones, while the other grabbed the smaller boy’s hip, pulling him closer. Will kissed his boyfriend desperately and began to drag his teeth across his lips. Nico let out a quiet moan and Will smiled, his fingers slipping beneth the hem of the raven’s shirt to press against his skin. 

The door behind them opened and Nico tore away from Will and whipped around to see who walked in. It was a tall boy with dark hair holding a cardboard box. He stopped in the door way, his eyes widening as he looked between Nico and Will, who had rumbled clothes and swollen lips, and then smiled sheepishly. He set down his box and wiped his palms against his jeans. “Hi!” he said brightly, extending a hand, “I’m Jake. I assume one of you is Nico?”

Nico cleared his throat and stepped forward cautiously, shaking Jake’s hand. “Yeah, I’m Nico. It’s, uh, nice to meet you,” he said softly.

Will studied Jake, taking in his warm smile and the way he watched Nico, and his eyes became cold as his face dropped. He watched Jake look away from Nico and to him, his eyes flickering slightly as he took in Will’s expression. “And you are?” Jake asked politely, extending his hand to Will as well.

“That’s Will,” Nico interrupted, shifting toward him slightly in way that made the blonde thrum with satisfaction, “He’s my-

“Boyfriend,” Will interrupted, reaching forward and gripping Jake’s hand with far more force than necessary,

Will smiled his bright, charming smile that disarmed people and made Nico melt, and he released Jake’s hand. Jake glanced down at his own hand and shook it discreetly before cradling it slightly at his side, and then smiled back cautiously. “Nice to meet you,” he said.

Nico stepped towards Will again, so their shoulders bumped, but he was still looking at Jake and it made Will crazy. He wanted to demand his boyfriend to look at him , pay attention to him , but he bit his cheek and pushed down the urge. “Will is in one of the dorms on the floor below us,” Nico told Jake.

Nico said ‘us’ and he wasn’t referring to himself and Will and the blonde nearly snapped. “Cool,” Jake said, smiling wider, “That’s two people that I know here.”

Will wanted to tear his face off but he smiled, “Yeah, but I’m sure you’ll meet some other people soon.” 

‘People that aren’t Nico,’ he wanted to add, ‘Because I don’t want you near him.’ Then he remembered that Jake and Nico were roommates and that he couldn’t do anything about that. Nico grabbed his hand, intertwining their fingers, and Will relaxed slightly. “We’ll leave you be,” the raven said, pulling them towards the door, “Let you move around and get settled without us taking up space.”

“Oh,” Jake blinked, “Yeah, of course. Uh, thanks. I’ll see you later, I guess.”

Nico waved as he pulled Will past Jake and out the door. As soon as they were in the hallway, the raven spun around and looked up at Will, his eyes dancing with amusement. “You don’t like him,” he whispered.

Will cocked his head, “What makes you say that?”

Nico rolled his eyes. “Well, first off, you don’t like anybody who looks at me for too long,” he teased, “But mostly, I could see it on your face and the way you were standing. You aren’t normally so stiff or formal.”

Will’s stomach fluttered at Nico’s words, his blood heating up as he thought of Nico watching him, knowing him. He leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. “Did you know that you’re amazing?” he whispered as he pulled back.

Nico flushed and swallowed, “So I was right?

“Yes,” Will huffed.

Nico smiled, sending shockwaves into Will’s heart, and stepped back. “Let’s go!” he exclaimed, tugging at his boyfriend’s hand again as he rushed down the hallway. 

“Where are we going?” Will laughed, following Nico happily.

“To your dorm,” Nico stated, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

They rushed down the staircase as they reached him, slipping past other students and parents carrying boxes up and down the stairs. “You know I have a roommate too,” Will reminded him.

“Tell him to leave,” Nico said.

They reached Will’s floor and whipped around the corner. “I’m not going to sexile my roommate on the first day, darling,” Will scoffed.

Nico looked over his shoulder and raised an eyebrow at him, “Who said anything about sex, William?”

The blonde blinked and felt a blush creep up his neck. “Uh, I didn’t-”

Nico cut him off, “I don’t know which room is yours.”

“Um,” Will stuttered as he glanced around, “Two doors ahead on your right.”

The smaller boy stopped as he reached it, not letting go of Will’s hand as he watched him fumble with the dorm key and unlock the door. Nico leaned against his boyfriend’s side, his nose buried in the fabric of his sleeve and Will could feel his smile. He pushed the door open and found the room empty, relief flooding his body. He tugged the raven into the dorm with him and toward the bed, sitting down as he dragged him onto his lap. Nico smirked down at him and wrapped his arms behind Will’s neck, “Awfully eager?”

“Shush,” Will smiled, tilting his chin up, “It’s an empty room and we are whole, independent adults now and we live away from our parents and you’re wonderful .”

Nico leaned close enough for their lips to nearly brush, “I already told you that you aren’t getting laid.”

Will pouted and tried to dart forward to kiss him but Nico pulled back. “Can I at least kiss you?” the blonde begged.

“Hmm,” Nico hummed, “Maybe if you ask nicely.”

“Please?” Will whispered, his hands trailing up and down Nico’s sides and across his thighs.

Nico smiled and barely kissed him, soft and teasing, and it made Will whimper. “You’re so cruel to me,” he whispered.

“Poor baby,” Nico teased, dragging his fingers through Will’s hair.

“Nico, darling, sweetheart, love of my life,” Will mumbled, “Kiss me? Please?”

Nico pressed his lips softly against his and it made Will crumble to pieces.

----

Will knocked on Nico’s door, bouncing on the balls of his feet and grinning. He froze instantly though and dropped into a neutral expression as Jake opened the door and smiled. Jake always smiled at Will, he was always polite to him, no matter how much Will glared or met him with stoicism or tried his best to be intimidating, and it drove him up the wall. Nico peeked out from behind his roommate and his face broke into a smile that made Will’s mind scream ‘Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.’ He felt some of his frustration release at the sight of his boyfriend and he smiled back. “I’ll just be a second!” Nico called. 

Jake looked over his shoulder at Nico bustling around the room and the way his eyes lingered made Will furious. He cleared his throat, pulling Jake’s attention toward him again. “Hello,” he said calmly, though his heart was racing with anger.

Jake leaned against the door frame, “Hey, Will. What’s up?”

“Not much,” Will said stiffly, “And, uh, you?”

“Not much either,” he said and his eyes flickered, “Nico and I were just chatting.”

Something on Jake’s face made Will’s blood boil. The way he said Nico’s name made his stomach drop like concrete and his nose twitched in anger. “Oh? What about?” he questioned, his voice apprehensive.

“This and that,” Jake shrugged and then he stood straighter, his arms tense at his sides, “ You .”

Will blinked and took a deep breath, trying to stay calm, “Me?”

“He loves you a lot,” Jake said, the words rolling off his tongue like they were bitter.

Pride flickered in his chest. “I know,” Will smirked, “I love him too.”

Jake narrowed his gaze, “You know, if I were you, I wouldn’t-”

Nico cut Jake off as he slipped past him and stood pressed aginst Will’s side. 

“Hey,” Nico smiled, “What did I miss?”

WIll wrapped an arm around his boyfriend’s waist as he cocked his head, his eyes cold as looked at Jake. “Jake was just telling me about you conversation earlier. What was it that you were saying?”

Jake shifted on his feet and looked away from Will’s unrelenting glare. He cleared his throat, “Nothing, it doesn’t matter,” he looked to Nico, “I’ll see you later, Nico.”

The warmth in his voice made Will want to throttle him, or maybe rip his windpipe out, but instead he just pulled Nico away, still holding onto him possessively. As they heard the door shut, he felt Nico chuckle. “What?” he asked.

“You really, really don’t like him,” Nico snorted.

Will pulled Nico closer, “Maybe you could stay in my dorm with me,” he suggested.

“Ha,” Nico said sarcastically, “I’m sure Paolo would appreciate that.”

“Paolo would get used to it,” Will rationalized, “And I think he’d understand.”

“Understand what? That you’re too jealous to function? And jealous for no reason, at that,” Nico scoffed. 

“It’s not for no reason,” Will whispered.

Nico stopped walking, causing Will to jerk forward. He looked back at Nico, his eyes filled with concern. The raven was looking at him with such shock and betrayal that it made his chest hurt. “Do you not trust me?” Nico asked brokenly.

“What? No!” Will exclaimed, stepping in front of his boyfriend and looking down at him, “Of course I trust you! I trust you more than anyone.”

“Then why are you jealous?” Nico whispered.

Will didn’t really know what to say, how to explain that he was jealous always. Of every person that Nico looked at or talked to instead of him. He wanted Nico all to himself, every second of every day and he hated that he couldn’t have that. He didn’t know how to explain that he knew it wasn’t good for him to feel that way, but he couldn’t bring himself to care in the slightest. He furrowed his eyebrows and intertwined his fingers with the raven’s. “Because I love you, more than anything. And when you look away from me it hurts and I can’t help but be jealous of any one, any thing, that draws your attention away from me.”

Nico stared at him, his lips parted in surprise.”Oh,” he muttered, his voice breathy. 

Will stepped closer, “Plus the way that Jake was talking about you and looking at you,” he sucked in a breath, “God, I almost killed him.”

They both knew that meant something with Will and Nico raised a hand up and placed it on the side of the blonde’s face. “Jake is just,” Nico sighed, “He’s my roommate. And I love you . I will only ever love you.”

Will nodded and pressed his face into Nico’s touch. “I know,” he mumbled, “And I’m sorry. I trust you, I promise. I just, there is something off about Jake.”

Nico nodded and pushed up on his toes, pressing a kiss to Will’s cheek. “Jake isn’t going to do anything,” he promised, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Will sighed, wrapping an arm around Nico again, “Now we have to go or we are gonna miss the movie.”

“Maybe we should just skip,” Nico whispered, trailing his fingers across Will’s jaw.

“Normally, that is the only thing I want to do. But it’s Star Wars,” Will complained, “I can’t miss it.”

Nico pulled away from Will slightly and huffed, “You’re such a nerd.” 

“If we sit in the back, we can make out during the previews,” Will teased

“You’re an idiot,” Nico said as he started to walk again, Will following enthusiastically.

“Is that a no to making out?” Will asked, grinning.

“Obviously not,” Nico sighed, “But you have to buy me an Icee and Sour Patch Kids.”

----

Will clambered out of his bed, nearly falling to the ground, and rushed to his door as someone was banging incessantly on the other side. “I’m coming!” he shouted, ripping the door open gracelessly.

Any annoyance he may have felt died instantly as he saw Nico standing on the other side, distress written across his face and in the way his hands were shaking at his sides. The smaller boy launched himself at Will immediately, burying his face in his chest and grabbing onto the fabric of his shirt. Will wrapped his arms around him as he looked over his shoulder at Paolo, who was watching the couple with concern. Paolo nodded as soon as their eyes met and stood up, grabbing his laptop and backpack. Will walked himself and Nico, who was clinging to him and taking rapid breaths, out of the doorway and Paolo slipped out. As the door shut again, the blonde began running his hands up and down Nico’s back soothingly. “Hey,” he cooed softly, “What’s wrong?”

Nico shook his head and mumbled something with his face still pressed into his chest and Will can’t make out anything he said. He sat them both down on his bed and pulled Nico’s head up, cradling his face in his hands. His heart shattered as he saw Nico crying, red eyes and tear tracks down his cheeks. Nico’s face crumbled more as their eyes met and Will was drowning in worry and fear and unfocused anger at whatever made his boyfriend so upset. “Nico, baby,” he pleaded, “Tell me what happened.”

“I-I’m sorry,” Nico cried, fresh tears rolling down his cheeks, “I’m s-so sorry, Will.”

Will’s blood was running cold in his veins as he stroked his thumb across Nico’s face to wipe the tears away. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for,” Will didn’t actually know that because he still didn’t know what happened but his faith in his boyfriend made Nico entirely blameless in his mind, “But you have to tell me what happened.”

“You were right,” Nico sobbed, “And I didn’t believe you and I’m so sorry .”

Nico was clutching Will’s shirt tightly and was pressed against him so much it was like he was afraid his boyfriend was going to disappear, or leave. Will could almost hear the raven’s heart racing and the panic in his eyes made him nauseous. “Why are you sorry?” Will asked, trying to keep his voice level, “What was I right about?”

Nico’s voice sounded so broken, so utterly distraught, as he sobbed out, “ Jake .”

The anger that flooded Will in that moment was unlike anything he had ever experienced. Anger was not an unfamiliar emotion for him and he thought he knew how bad, how overwhelming it could be. He thought he knew how every thought and sense could be consumed by blinding rage. But he didn’t know, he really had no idea how much fury could eat him alive until the moment he had to consider what possibly could have happened between Nico and Jake.

Nico’s face was still in his hands and he was certain that the smaller boy could feel his fingertips twitch. Will was furious, truly and completely feral, but not at Nico. Never at Nico. Still, a sharp spike of fear shot through Will as he realized that he could barely contain the urge to smash Jake’s face in. He pulled his hands away from Nico, dropping them to his sides as he tried to take deep breaths to get control of himself. Will knew that he was impulsive, that he had violent and dark urges, but he was always, always in control of them. Right now, he was balancing on the edge of completely losing it and he couldn’t do that. He wanted to kill Jake Mason, rip him to pieces with his bare hands but Nico was on his lap, crying and needing comfort more than anything. Will couldn’t just leave him there, even if it was for good reason.

Nico sobbed as he pulled away and dropped his head forward onto Will’s shoulder. Will took a shaky breath and he felt Nico’s tears on his skin and how his hands were still clinging to him. “I’m so sorry,” Nico’s voice was muffled, “I’m so, so sorry.”

Will shuddered and bit his tongue, refusing to say anything until he was certain that he could control himself. Nico took in a gasping breath and uncurled his hands from Will’s shirt, instead wrapping them around himself tightly, though his face was still pressed into the crook of the blonde’s neck. Will blinked at the action and suddenly his mind froze as he realized that it was self-soothing. Nico was comforting himself because Will was just sitting there silently, leaving his boyfriend nealy alone and god , if the guilt that hit him then wasn’t worse than the anger. In an instant, Will wrapped one arm around Nico and placed a hand on the back of his head, running his fingers through his dark hair. “It’s okay,” he whispered, his voice cracking, “You don’t have to be sorry.”

“I should have listened,” Nico stuttered, “I should have listened to you. If I had, he wouldn’t have kissed me. H-he cornered me, talking about how you weren’t right for me, and he grabbed me and kissed me.”

Will’s grip tightened on his waist and the anger was back full force but he just continued to run his fingers through Nico’s hair. “It isn’t your fault,” Will whispered.

“I’m so sorry, Will,” Nico sobbed, “It is my fault, I was stupid and I didn’t listen and now you’re mad at me.”

“No,” Will all but yelled, causing the smaller boy to jump, “I’m not mad at you.”

He pulled Nico’s head up and grabbed the side of his face, forcing him to meet his eyes. His dark eyes were filled with tears and he looked so distressed that Will’s heart jumped to his throat. “I’m not mad at you,” he repeated quietly, “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Nico sniffled, his lips wobbling, and Will could tell he didn’t believe him. “It doesn’t feel that way,” he whimpered.

“Jake took advantage of you, of your kindness,” as he said it, Will wanted to vomit, “And that isn’t your fault. I love you, more than I ever thought was even possible to love someone, and I hate that you think I’m upset with you.”

“It’s okay if you are upset with me,” Nico whispered, “I would be upset with me.”

“I’m not ,” Will told him, “And you shouldn’t blame yourself. The only person to blame is Jake,” he spat out his name.

Nico placed a hand over the one Will had placed against his face reassuringly. Will took in a shaky breath, “I’m going to kill him.”

Nico didn’t flinch. His eyes flickered across the blonde’s face and he took a deep breath. “No,” he said.

Hurt flashed across Will’s face, “Why?” he asked.

“He’s not worth it,” Nico told him.

“Yes, he is,” Will argued, “He touched you, kissed you, made you cry.”

“I know,” Nico hummed, “But there is no way that you wouldn’t be caught.”

Will wanted to argue more, to convince Nico to let him because he knew that he could. But he also knew that his boyfriend was right, there is no way he could kill Jake without being caught. ‘Do it anyway,’ a voice whispered in his head, ‘Who cares if you’re caught? It’s worth it.’ 

He thought of what Nico would say and what it would actually mean to be caught and arrested. It would mean he wouldn’t have Nico with him, and the thought of that was unbearable. He nodded slowly. “I want to anyway,” he confessed, “But you’re right.”

“I love you,” Nico whispered.

“I love you too,” Will said.

Nico leaned his head down against his shoulder again and Will hugged him tightly, focusing on the feeling and sound of the raven’s breathing to calm himself down. His blood still felt like it was boiling in his veins, rage threatening to bubble over at any minute. After a moment of silence, he spoke softly, “Can I talk to him?”

Nico let out a quiet laugh that sounded more like a sob. “I don’t really think I could stop you if I tried,” he said.

“You could,” Will mumbled, “If you asked.”

Nico’s breath hitched and his arms tightened around the blonde. “I won’t ask,” he promised.

Will pressed his face into Nico’s hair, inhaling the scent of his shampoo, “Are you feeling better?”

“A little,” Nico told him, “I’m tired.”

“You can lay down in my bed,” Will said. 

Nico nodded and shifted off of his lap, collapsing on the bed beside him in a heap. He nuzzled his face into Will’s pillow and tried to pull the taller boy down with him. 

Will stayed put, “I have to go find Paolo quickly, let him know you’ll be here. I promise I’ll be back in a minute.”

Nico lifted his and even though his eyes were puffy and his nose was red and his face was still tear stained, he was the most beautiful thing Will had ever seen. He raised an eyebrow, “Paolo?”

“Yup,” Will said, standing up and pressing a kiss to Nico’s forehead. 

Nico huffed and lowered his head back down, closing his eyes, “I don’t believe you.”

Will almost smiled as he walked out the door. “I love you,” he called.

He barely heard Nico’s mumbled response as he shut the door and started running down his hallway and then up the stairs. He felt the anger that had been fading slightly rush back as he approached Nico’s door and knocked harshly. He took deep breaths, trying to stay calm and in control, but nearly all of that flew out the window as Jake opened the door. He smiled, like always did, and Will punched him. 

Hard enough that Jake stumbled back, immediately raising a hand to his cheek. He was shocked for a moment but then his face contorted angrily. “What the fuck?” he sneered.

Will stepped forward, his shoulders tense and hands curled at his side, “How dare you?” he asked, his voice low and quiet and deadly, “How dare you ever touch him?”

“He doesn’t belong to you,” Jake scoffed.

Will wanted to scream that ‘Yes he does!’ but he stepped closer still, “It doesn’t matter if he belongs to me. What matters is that you touched him, kissed him, and he didn’t want it.”

“And how would you know what he wants?” he yelled.

“Because he came to me sobbing!” he shouted, “Hysterical about how you cornered him! And because I know him! More than you do, more that you ever will!”

“Because you guard him like he’s your territory!” Jake shouted back.

Will shoved Jake back, causing him to stumble again. Jake tried to swing at him but Will dodged easily, pushing him again. Jake hit the ground but even as he stared up at Will, his face was still twisted in rage. Will’s chest was heaving as he looked down, his eyes burning with rage. “Nico is mine,” he seethed, “Because he wants to be. I have never forced him into anything. He loves me and I love him and you mean nothing .”

“Maybe you should let him say that,” Jake barked.

“Was him literally running away from you not enough of a no?” Will yelled, “Because if not, I can make sure that you understand he doesn’t want anything to do with you.”

“What are you going to do?” Jake sneered, “Hit me again?”

‘I will rip your throat out’ he thought. Instead, he turned on his heel and stormed out of the room. If he stayed any longer he was going to lose it and he told Nico that he wouldn’t. Jake yelled something else but Will tuned it out as he started to walk back to his own dorm. Adrenaline was still coursing through him and he could hear the blood thrumming in his veins. His knuckles hurt slightly from punching Jake and he flexed his fingers. Part of his wanted to turn around and kick the shit out of Jake, but he took another deep breath. He thought of Nico curled up on his bed and his breathing slowed slightly as he calmed down. 

When he made it back to his room and pushed the door open, Nico lifted his head and smiled sleepily. It made his heart stutter in his chest and he rushed forward, climbing beside his boyfriend and wrapping his arms around him tightly. “Did you find Paolo?” Nico mumbled.

“What?” Will asked, “Oh, uh, yeah.”

“You’re lying,” Nico grunted, “You went to see Jake.”

Will thought about denying it but he really didn’t like lying to Nico. “Yes,” he conceded, “I had to.”

“I knew it,” Nico sighed and looked at Will with concern, “Are you okay?”

“Of course,” Will huffed.

Nico tucked his head beneath Will’s chin and pressed a kiss to his neck. “I love you,” he sighed.

“I love you too,” Will whispered. 

“What did you say to him?” Nico asked.

“Mostly I punched him,” WIll said sheepishly as Nico whacked his arm.

“You’re an idiot,” Nico scolded.

“I couldn’t help it,” Will muttered, “He deserved it. He deserved worse.”

Nico sighed and pressed another kiss to Will’s neck. “Thank you,” he huffed.

Will grinned as his arms tightened around his boyfriend, “You don’t have to thank me.”

“Still,” Nico shifted impossibly closer to him and lifted his head slightly, “Thank you anyway.”

Will tucked his head down and kissed Nico softly. The raven reciprocated immediately, his lips moving gently against Will’s. It made him relax completely, the anger flooding him replaced with a pleasant warmth and adoration. Will kissed him deeper, running his hands across Nico’s sides, toying with the hem of his shirt. Nico was letting out quiet gasps and Will swallowed every sound as he ran his tongue along lips. The raven parted them but instead of licking into his mouth, Will made the kiss chaste again. Nico whined and squirmed in his hold, sending shivers of satisfaction down Will’s spine.

He trailed his lips down from Nico’s mouth and across his jaw, pressing insistent kisses to the skin. Nico moaned quietly and Will shifted, rolling so he was hovering over the smaller boy. He kissed lower, dragging his teeth across Nico’s throat. He stopped at his pulse point and nipped at the skin, sucking a bruise into his neck. The action made the raven moan louder and twist his fingers into Will’s hair. Will smiled and moved to the other side, sucking another bruise into his skin. 

“Ah,” Nico sighed, “Possessive, are we?”

Will bit down on his collar bone, causing the smaller boy to arch up slightly. “Maybe,” Will whispered, “I like when I can see the hickeys I gave you.”

“Me too,” Nico’s voice was breathy.

Will felt a spark of courage as Nico leaned into his every touch. “I like when people know you’re mine,” he confessed.

Part of him was afraid that he would scare Nico off even still, that Nico would push back and Will would flounder. He kept pressing kisses to Nico’s skin even as his heart was pounding with anxiety. He slipped his hand beneath the smaller boy’s shirt, feeling his heated skin and gripping his waist and hips. Will hovered his lips over Nico’s collar bones and hesitated. He tried to lift his head slightly but Nico’s grip on his hair held him in place. “ More, ” Nico pleaded, “I’m yours.”

Euphoria washed over Will and he reattached his mouth to Nico’s skin, desperate to please him. ‘He’s mine,’ Will thought as he felt the flush of his boyfriend’s skin beneath his lips, ‘He wants to be mine.’ The thought ripped through Will like wildfire, burning up every doubt he had, and he couldn’t do anything other than continue to love the boy beneath him with every breath he had.

Chapter Text

Will felt deliriously excited. His heart was racing, his cheeks hurt from smiling, and he couldn’t help but feel like he was on the top of the world. Normally, he took the bus home from campus but today he was running through the streets, dodging people with his coat fluttering behind him as he raced home. He felt the weight in his pocket with every step and it just made him run faster. His mind was a mess of Nico, Nico, Nico and he was so distracted he almost ran past his apartment building. Will turned sharply and burst into the building, waving erratically at the door man, and pausing for just a second in front of the elevator before deciding to just take the stairs. 

He took the steps two at a time, whipping around corners and praying that he wouldn’t smash into someone. By the time he reached his floor, he was out of breath and panting but that didn’t stop him from running the final few feet to the door. He stopped as he pulled out his key, his fingers brushing against the box in his pocket. 

He needed to calm down, play it cool. He had a plan, they had reservations tonight and Will had a whole speech that he had been writing for months . Nico deserved the best, all the magic and romance that Will could provide and if Will didn’t calm down, it would be blown in a second. Nico could read him like a book even when he was trying to conceal his emotions and if he walked in and met Nico while he was panting and grinning like a maniac, that would be it. 

So he took a deep breath and ran a hand through his wild hair, his fingers tugging at the tangles at the end. He unlocked the door and pushed it open, immediately struck by the warmth in the apartment and the smell of Nico’s favorite candle. He couldn’t help but smile as kicked his shoes off so they landed vaguely in the area of their shoe rack. (Nico had insisted on buying it, claiming that it made them seem put together and that they should have a place for everything). His heart stuttered in his chest as Nico called out, “Will? Is that you?”

“Yeah, sorry I’m late,” Will said back, hanging up his coat.

As he turned around, Nico rounded the corner to greet him. Will saw him and he knew that he was never going to make it to the park he was planning to take Nico to after their reservation. Nico was wearing a black T-shirt and sweatpants and his hair was a mess and he looked so perfect Will thought he was going to cry. He bounded forward, reaching his arms out for his boyfriend desperately. Nico seemed a little surprised but he let himself be held, wrapping his arms behind Will’s neck and looking up at him. “Hey there, Sunshine,” Nico said quietly, smiling.

“Hi, darling,” Will whispered as he slid his hands down to grab the smaller boy’s waist.

“How was your day?” Nico asked, his fingers occasionally brushing against the nape of Will’s neck and sending shivers down your spine.

“Good,” Will said, “I missed you.”

Nico smiled wider and ran a hand through the blonde’s curls, “I missed you too,” He brought a hand down to tug at the collar of Will’s button down shirt, “Why are you so dressed up?”

“We have reservations,” Will said.

Nico raised an eyebrow, “Oh? What’s the occasion?”

Will’s stomach flipped, “My wonderful boyfriend deserves a night out.”

Nico hummed, “And when are these reservations for?”

“An hour, so you better go get ready,” Will told him, loosening his grip on Nico’s waist but not totally letting him go.

“I think you should come help me pick out an outfit,” Nico whispered.

Will leaned down and pressed their foreheads together. “Tempting,” he huffed, “But if I do, we are going to be late.”

Nico pouted and Will’s heart was bursting. “You have so little faith in me,” Nico sighed, “I’m not a deviant , William.”

Will smiled wickedly, his eyes glinting, “I am.”

Nico scoffed and shoved Will’s shoulders, pulling himself from his boyfriend’s grip. “You’re going to corrupt me with your nefarious intentions,” Nico drawled as he walked to their bedroom. 

“I would so love to,” Will said, “You’d look so pretty being corrupted.”

Nico leaned against the door frame dramatically and placed a hand against his chest as if he was scandalized, “What would my father say? His only son getting debased by a suitor? My reputation would be ruined!”

“A suitor ? Your reputation?” Will teased, “I think your reputation will be fine.”

Nico closed their bedroom door but Will could still hear the response he called back, “I’m a young, unwed man, William! My reputation is terribly fragile!”

Will’s mouth dried at his words and he couldn’t think of a response. His stomach was filled with butterflies and his knees suddenly felt like they were going to buckle. He blinked and swallowed, shaking himself from his daze and walking slowly to their living room, sitting down on the couch with a huff. 

When Nico walked out of their bedroom Will was certain that he was going to die. He was also certain that he wasn’t even going to make it to the restaurant. Nico was wearing a button up shirt and slacks that clung to his legs in a way that made Will’s mouth go dry. He knew he was gaping like an idiot and based off of the way Nico was looking at him with an amused smile and raised eyebrows, he wasn’t subtle in the slightest. He snapped his mouth shut and stood up, wiping his sweaty palms on the fabric of his pants. Will felt like a mess of nerves and part of him was frustrated by being so out of control but that was just what happened when Nico was around. His pocket felt so heavy and his heart was racing and yes, he was definitely dying . 

“You okay, there?” Nico asked, his voice lilting with amusement.

Will took a breath and stepped forward. He really, truly meant to tell Nico ‘Yes, I’m perfect. Are you ready to go?’ but what came out instead was “Marry me?”

Nico looked bewildered and his arms were hanging loosely at his sides. “What?” he whispered.

Will rushed the rest of the way to Nico and stuck a hand in his pocket, fumbling until he pulled out the black, velvet box. He held it out between them, opening the lid to reveal a silver ring with two thin stripes of balck and gold in the center. It wasn’t very elaborate or expensive, but it was all he could afford and he had sworn that as soon as they were out of college and medical school and had actual jobs, he would buy Nico as many rings as he wanted. Nico looked down at the ring and back up at Will, his eyes still wide and his cheeks pink. 

Will’s heart was pounding and he never wanted to look away from Nico ever. Lines of the speech he had written were running through his head, ‘ You are the best thing that has ever happened to me,’ jumbled with ‘I can’t ever live without you’ and ‘ You are my soulmate.’ But none of that felt right anymore, not with Nico looking at him the way that he was and not with so little space between them. “Marry me?” he repeated.

Nico grabbed the sides of Will’s face and pulled him down, kissing him desperately. It was sloppy and uncoordinated and their noses kept bumping but it was perfect. “ Yes ,” Nico sighed between kisses, “ Yes, yes .” 

Will smiled so widely his face was aching but Nico just kept pressing kisses to his lips and mumbling between them. The box with the ring in it was still sitting carefully on Will’s palm between the two of them but Will placed his free hand against Nico’s cheek and closed his eyes. He felt like he was dreaming, that if he opened his eyes Nico would disappear and none of this will have happened. Still, everytime he fluttered his eyes open, he could see Nico’s face pressed against his own and he felt like he was going to burst. 

Will pulled back, panting quietly. Nico chased his lips and then pouted when he realized Will wasn’t going to kiss him again. “Can I put it on you?” Will asked quietly.

Nico blinked his eyes open and stared up at him in wonder. He nodded fervently and dropped his hands from Will’s face, holding out the left carefully. Will pulled the ring out shakily and held it between two fingers as he snapped the box shut and shoved it clumsily back into his pocket. His hand was trembling as he slipped it onto Nico’s ring finger. The smaller boy flexed his fingers and let out a quiet gasp as he stared down at the ring on his finger. When he looked back up at the blonde, his eyes were shining and his face broke out into a smile and god , Will adored him. “I love you,” he said, his voice weak.

Nico nodded again and pressed another kiss to his lips. When he raised his hand to the taller boy’s face again, Will felt the cool metal press against his skin and it felt heavenly. He grabbed Nico’s waist and began sliding his hands up and down his sides and to his thighs, feeling the smooth fabric of his shirt and pants. The kiss became frantic as Will realized how desperately he wanted to run his hands across Nico’s chest and hips, feeling the warmth and smoothness of his skin. Earlier, Nico’s outfit had seemed like a gift from God but not now it felt like a curse. He hooked his fingers in the waist of Nico’s slacks and the smaller boy shivered at the touch. Will took that as a sign of approval and he slid his hand to Nico’s belt buckle but as he began to fumble with it, the raven pulled back slightly and broke the kiss. Will whined quietly and tried to pull Nico close again, pressing his lips along his jaw. Nico chuckled quietly as he tried to catch his breath, “You said we have reservations,” he reminded him.

“They’re pointless now, I’ve already proposed,” Will mumbled between kisses. 

“I was promised a night out,” Nico sighed.

“If we stay in, I’ll make it worth your while,” Will said.

“Oh?” Nico’s breath hitched as Will trailed his lips down his throat, “You will?”

“I still have to corrupt you, remember?” Will nipped at Nico’s pale skin, revelling in the red drawn out from his teeth, “You’ll only be a young, unwed man for a little while longer and I have to take advantage.”

Nico didn’t say anything in response, instead just tipping his head back to let Will kiss and suck at his neck.

They didn’t make it to the restaurant, or the park, or even their bed. 

----

A week later and Will still felt giddy every time he caught a glimpse of the ring on Nico’s finger. His heart raced and his stomach erupted in butterflies and it all felt so perfectly right. Nico looked like he was Will’s , really and truly his in a way that made satisfaction settle in his chest wonderfully. It was infinitely more painful to be away from him, he ached for him anytime he couldn’t see Nico or touch him. He could barely stand to go to class and by the end of it, he was always itching to run and find his fiancé . 

As his anatomy class ended and they were dismissed, Will felt jittery. He was barely listening to his friend, Lacy, talking to him as they left the lecture hall. She was saying something about the test they had on Monday and needing to study but never being able to study alone but Will only caught every other word. They pushed the door open and stepped into the corridor and Will nearly took off sprinting to the other side of campus where he knew Nico was for his ceramics class. 

Lacy was still babbling beside him and he tried to nod along, pretending to listen. He thought of Nico’s face, the slope of his nose and curve of his jaw. The way his lips parted so beautifully when he sighed and the way his eyes gleamed when he laughed. He thought of his voice, the soft, low, melodic tone of his speech, the specific way it hitched when he called Will’s name. It was that exact sound that pulled him from his thoughts. He whipped his head around and spotted Nico instantly, a mop of raven hair leaned against the wall opposite to them. He smiled widely and weaved his way through the crowd of people quickly, Lacy trailing behind. He watched Nico’s gaze flicker between him and Lacy and his eyes narrow, his smile becoming a barely-there frown. Will questioned it for a moment but he was far too excited to see Nico at all to focus on it too long. 

“Neeks!” he exclaimed as he stopped in front of the smaller boy, reaching forward and grabbing his hand to tug him forward. 

Nico let himself be pulled, their fingers still intertwined. He relaxed slightly as he met Will’s eyes, “Hey Sunshine,” he said easily. 

“I was just going to go find you,” Will told him.

“Found you first,” Nico said, “Class ended early so I figured I’d surprise you.”

“Well aren’t I just a lucky ducky,” Will grinned.

Nico scrunched his nose and stuck out his tongue, “Never say that again.”

“Um, Will, who’s this?” a voice interrupted them.

Will looked over his shoulder and Nico peeked past Will to see Lacy staring at the couple quizzically as she shifted on her feet. Will turned around, still clutching Nico’s hand in his and seemed to smile even wider. “Oh! Sorry, Lacy. I totally got distracted there,” he said happily, “This is Nico, my fiancé.”

Lacy blinked and cocked her head slightly, looking between the two of them. As her eyes landed on Nico again, they seemed to become slightly cold and her lips downturned. “Your fiancé? ” she clarified, the word rolling off her tongue bitterly.

“Yes!” Will said, squeezing Nico’s hand, “We just got engaged last week.”

Lacy kept her gaze fixed on Nico and he sneered back at her, leaning into Will’s side. She looked back at Will and her face relaxed slightly in a way that made Nico’s blood boil. “I thought you were the same age as me,” she said.

Will’s face twisted in confusion, “I am.”

“Oh,” she blinked, “I just thought— because you’re engaged, that you must be older.”

“Why?” Will’s voice was filled with such genuine confusion that it was almost endearing.

“Uh,” she stuttered, “Well, not a lot of twenty year olds are getting engaged.”

Will shrugged, “We are.”

“Right,” she nodded slowly, her eyes moving back to watch Nico with a carefully guarded expression, “How long have you two been together?”

“Freshman year,” Will told her.

“Oh, so you’ve only been together for a year or two,” she said.

Something in her tone made Will frown, his back tense with annoyance. “What? No. Freshman year of high school.”

A look of shock washed over her face and she concealed it quickly, but both Will and Nico saw it clearly. It made Will’s stomach churn with displeasure and he felt Nico tense beside him. Lacy didn’t seem to notice at all and she continued to talk to Will, no longer asking any questions about their relationship and instead trying to joke about their class that day. Will stood uncomfortably and he wrapped his arm around Nico’s waist to calm himself down. The raven leaned his head against his arm and it made his heart flutter. It was quickly chased by a biting rage as he saw Lacy frown at the action, her eyes icy as she looked at Nico, even for just a moment. His already brief responses became even shorter and he bit his cheek to keep his voice steady. 

Nico could hear the change in Will’s tone and it sent a shock of pleasure through him. He moved impossibly closer to the taller boy and Will relaxed at the contact, his fingers tracing patterns into Nico’s side. He pushed up on his toes and whispered into Will’s ear, “ Tesoro , I want to go.”

Lacy couldn’t hear what he said but she squinted her eyes at them, her nose twitching as she paused in the middle of her sentence. Will barely noticed any change in her cadence and he looked down at Nico, meeting his eyes. The smaller boy looked up at him with pleading eyes, as if he needed to plead at all, as if Will wouldn’t bend over backwards to do anything he wanted. 

“Listen Lacy,” Will tried to speak calmly, “We have to go.”

“Oh,” she said, “Well, I’ll see you next week.”

“Uh huh,” Will said, tugging Nico away without sparing a second glance to her. 

When they made it out of the building, Will tucked his hand into Nico’s back pocket as the smaller boy clung to the blonde’s arm. “I don’t like her,” Nico mumbled.

“I don’t think I do either,” Will said.

“I don’t like the way she looked at you or talked to you. Like I’m not there, like she wants something from you,” Nico continued.

“Well she isn't going to get anything,” Will assured, “And it’s not like I have anything to give her anyway. You already have it all.”

“I’d hope so,” Nico huffed a quiet, entitled sound that made Will’s gut curl with pleasure. He could hear the smile in Nico’s voice as he said, “You’re mine.”

Exhilaration flooded through Will’s veins at his words. “I love you,” he cooed.

“I love you too,” Nico sighed, “I think I should get you a ring too, so everybody knows you’re off the market.”

“Darling, I’ve been off the market since you walked into the room on the first day of high school,” Will teased.

“Still,” Nico insisted, “I want everybody to know .”

Everything he was saying was working Will into a tizzy, each word making his heart race. “We could just get married today, go to the courthouse and exchange rings so we both have one,” Will told him. 

Nico hummed, “I would love to marry you today. But Hazel would kill me if she wasn’t there, and Kayla would kill you too.”

“You’re right,” Will conceded, “So maybe you can just give me a hickey.”

“You’re impossible,” Nico scoffed.

“You like it,” Will grinned.

“Maybe,” Nico muttered, “But only ‘cause you’re pretty.”

“You think I’m pretty?” Will teased.

“Only a little.”

“Well I think you’re pretty too.”

“I know, you say it enough.”

“Well how about ‘cute’?” Will shifted the hand he had in Nico’s back pocket, “Or hot? Maybe sexy?’

“Are you groping me right now?” Nico asked.

“I would never,” Will claimed.

“I can literally feel your hand on my ass,” Nico said dryly.

“That’s not me.” 

“Oh? It isn’t? It’s someone else’s hand?”

Will knew that Nico was goading him but he couldn’t help the flare of anger in him. He bit his tongue to stop himself from growling, “Never.”

Nico laughed and leaned his head against Will’s arm. “You’re awfully easy to tease,” he whispered.

“Yeah, yeah,” Will tried to feign annoyance but he never really could with Nico, especially not with his body pressed so closely to his own. 

“I love you,” Nico sang.

“I love you too,” Will said quietly.

Chapter Text

Will was on edge. He was buzzing with irritation and everything felt too intense, like the world had been turned up a few notches and it left his ears ringing. His shift that day had been particularly trying, people were rude and impatient and so frustrating , and he was forced to stay an hour after he was supposed to leave and he missed his finacé. His hands were shoved in his pockets, he was scowling, and every step he took was bordering on stomping. It felt like he was about combust so he kept his head down and tried to rush home. And it was date night , Nico was making pasta and Will got to choose the movie. He could imagine the smell of their apartment, the warmth, and the sound of Nico greeting him. And he was so fucking late . He was torn from his thoughts as something caught his attention from the corner of his eye. 

He looked over to see a man and a woman arguing in an alley across from him. He didn’t think much of it at first but then he saw a flash of something in the man’s hand and he realized the woman was desperately trying to back away from him. He paused for a second, thinking of Nico waiting for him at home, and took a deep breath. 

Will started to walk toward them slowly, not trying to alarm either of them, but then he realized it was a gun that the man was holding him and he was shaking it recklessly. ‘He’s going to kill her’ he thought.

He walked faster, staying close to the wall behind the man. The woman glanced over at him, her eyes wide in fear, and he held a finger up to his mouth, telling her to stay silent. She looked away from him and back at the man. He pushed the gun towards her more as he shouted, “Drop your purse!”

She nodded her head and dropped the bag to the ground, raising her hands up in surrender. As the man moved to click the safety off, Will shot out from behind him and grabbed his arms, forcing them up so the gun was pointed to the sky. The robber jerked, struggling in Will’s grip and trying to elbow him. Will looked at the woman in a panic. “Go!” he shouted, “Get out of here!”

She didn’t respond, just grabbing her purse and taking off. The man was still struggling and Will pressed his thumb against his wrist, forcing the gun to fall from his grip and clatter to the ground. The assailant launched himself forward, ripping himself from Will’s grip and whirling around. His face was contorted in rage, twisted into an ugly sneer with furrowed brows as he panted. Will was calm, his face passive as he stood tensely, waiting for something to happen. He knew it would be best for the man to run away, but he wanted him to stay, to push him and see what would happen. 

Suddenly, a fist was flying at Will’s face but he dodged it, grabbing the wrist and twisting it painfully. That only seemed to enrage the robber more and he grunted, throwing himself at Will in a rage. Will moved away from that too, kicking a leg out and sending the man sprawling to the ground, his face smashing against the pavement. He rolled over quickly, blood spluttering down his chin as he glared up at Will and tried to get to his feet. Will brought a foot down on his hand, smashing it and shattering the bones. The man cried out and it sent a shock of excitement down Will’s spine. He still tried to stand up so Will brought his foot down again, against his knee crushing it to the ground and then placing his own knee against his chest. 

The man gasped and sneered, trying to push Will off of him but failing, so instead he reached a hand out to the side, his fingers straining. Will glanced over and saw the gun centimeters from the assailants grip and he reached out as well to push it away but hesitated. ‘Don’t touch the gun,’ he thought.

He rolled off of the man slightly and kicked his leg out, sending the gun flying across the pavement until it hit the wall. In the single second of shock from the man, Will threw his weight back onto him, one knee pressed against his sternum and the other on his shoulder, keeping the man almost entirely immobile. His knee and free hand were crushed, Will had made sure of that, but even when he was entirely at Will’s mercy, he was still struggling and sneering and slinging insults. “Get the fuck off of me!” he gasped.

“You were going to kill her,” Will said calmly.

“I’ll kill you ,” he sneered.

Will laughed, cold and dry, as he smiled, “I really don’t think you will.”

“You fucking bastard! I will! I am going to shoot you dead!” each word was shallow as Will applied more and more pressure on the man’s chest. 

“I have a date, actually,” Will sighed, “So we are going to need to end this.” Will wanted to kill him, he was itching for it and it would be so easy. But they were in an alley, where anyone could find them, and that woman had seen his face, and he had no plan for any of it. So he bit his tongue and started to let up the pressure on the man’s rib cage.

But the man just wouldn’t back down, he had to keep pushing and pushing . “Yeah,” his words were bitter and harsh though he was nearly breathless, “Run home to your bitch.”

And that was all Will needed to press back down and wrap his hands around the man’s throat, his face twisting in rage. He knew the man was goading him, that he didn’t know anything and he really should just walk away. But none of that mattered, not really, because ‘ How dare he? How dare he threaten that woman? Threaten him? Even think about Nico?’.  He wanted to kill this man, choke him to death, so he squeezed tighter. The robber gasped, his eyes bulging and it made Will smile. He could feel the man’s pulse beneath his hands and he was shocked by how warm his neck was, all the blood rushing beneath his fingers. A hand was scratching at Will’s arm and he was silently grateful for his jacket, making it impossible for the man to scratch him and end up covered in Will’s DNA. Will was watching intently as the robber gaped beneath him, his face turning purple and eyes becoming bloodshot. 

Exhilaration hit him suddenly as the struggling became weaker. ‘He’s dying.’ Will thought, blinking slowly, ‘I’m killing him.’ He tightened his grip again and the man’s hand dropped. He was gasping desperately, unable to breathe for even a second and god , if it wasn’t amazing.  

The way that his eyes looked, shining with terror and panic and pleading, was captivating, beautiful, fucking magnificent. Will was righteous in every sense of the word. God had made him for this, this was his purpose and as the man’s mouth stopped moving and he relaxed completely, Will shuddered. A sense of overwhelming power washed over him and it was euphoric.

——

Will didn’t even remember walking, or sprinting, home, but suddenly he was standing in front of the door to his and Nico’s apartment, still high on adrenaline and exhilaration. His hands were shaking as he unlocked the door and his mind was short circuiting.

As soon as he walked in, Nico was rushing up to him and cupping his face and scanning over  him for anything worrisome. His eyes caught on Will’s rumpled shirt and the tears in the knees of his pants. He grabbed one of Will’s hands and as he saw the scratches from the gravel and pavement, he nearly whimpered. When he looked back up, Will could see how close he was to hysteria and that made him pause, his mind slowing from a mess of adrenaline. 

“Oh my god, Will,” Nico exclaimed, “Where have you been? What happened?”

Will looked at him, studying the furrow of his eyebrows and the way his lips pouted. His eyes were so wide and filled with concern, concern for him , that it made his heart stutter. Will didn’t know what to say, how to explain what had happened or how it had felt. ‘I did something amazing,’ he thought, or maybe ‘Nico, everything is going to be better now.’ Instead he just licked his lips and met his fiancé’s eyes. “I did it,” he said quietly. 

Nico blinked in confusion. “Did what , Will?” he asked cautiously.

“Killed someone.”

Nico’s face fell to something unreadable for a moment and then contorted in a way Will had never seen before. For the first time, Will was nervous about he had just fine because ‘ What if Nico didn’t mean it? What if this is too much?’ His stomach dropped and he was certain he was going to throw up at the thought that maybe this wasn’t as perfect as he had believed.

After a moment of tense silence, Nico spoke with a quiet and weak voice, “Why?”

“He was going to shoot someone, Nico,” Will told him, the words spilling out of his mouth rapidly, “A woman. He was trying to take her purse and he was holding a gun and I didn’t know what else to do. I-I grabbed him and he was threatening me and Nico, you have to understand, he didn’t leave me any other choice.” ‘ Lie’ Will thought, ‘I could have let him go.’ Will didn’t lie to Nico, it left a bitter taste in his mouth and he could barely stand it. “Well,” he corrected himself, “I guess he wouldn’t have been able to do anything after I broke his hand but Nico, baby please , you have to believe this, he was not a good person. He would have shot that woman, I know it. If I had let him go, he would have just run off with the gun and ended up shooting someone else.” 

Nico suddenly looked angry and Will could feel himself crumbling. “You ran up to a man with a gun?” Nico sneered.

Will nodded slowly, confusion etched on his face. 

Nico hit his shoulder, “You idiot! He could have shot you ! That was so stupid!”

Will gaped in shock but quickly snapped his mouth shut. “You’re mad that I could have gotten shot?” he asked dumbfoundedly.

“Yes!” Nico shouted, “You could have gotten hurt!”

“ Not that I killed the man?”

Nico deflated slightly and his cheeks turned red as if he was suddenly embarrassed. “Oh,” he huffed, “Well no . I don’t really care about the man,” he frowned and jabbed a finger at Will’s chest, “I do care that you put yourself in danger for no reason!”

Will didn’t know what to say so he surged forward and kissed Nico, grabbing his hips and tugging him forward. Nico gasped slightly but he responded immediately, wrapping his arms carefully behind Will’s head and threading his fingers in his hair. They were kissing messily, noses bumping and teeth clashing but neither seemed to care. Will’s heart was bursting and he felt like he couldn’t get enough of Nico, of the way he tasted or the way his hips felt in his grip or the soft pants he released. Will pulled away slightly and purred, “You’re perfect.”

Nico’s breath hitched and he captured Will’s lips again, hands tugging on his curls in a way that made pleasure shoot up the blonde’s spine. Will broke away again, “You are amazing.” His breath ghosted across Nico’s face in a way that made the smaller boy shiver and shift impossibly closer. 

“I’m so proud of you,” Nico cooed before kissing Will soundly, dragging his head down.

Will felt deep satisfaction fill him at Nico’s words and he wanted to cry in joy and relief. ‘He’s proud of me,’ Will echoed to himself. He crept his hands beneath the hem of Nico’s shirts and ran his fingers up his sides, feeling the warmth of his skin, before dragging them back down to grip at his thighs and ass. The action made Nico moan into his mouth and Will swallowed the sound gratefully and moved his hands up again. They were both panting heavily and suddenly the room felt very hot but neither made any move to break away, it all felt too perfect, too right , to stop. 

Nico lowered one hand slowly, his fingers dragging across Will’s jaw and neck and down his chest before hovering at the hem of his shirt. He toyed with it slightly before pushing it up and scraping his nails across Will’s stomach and chest as the other hand tugged at his hair. Will groaned and kissed Nico harder, his tongue swiping across his lips and the roof of his mouth. Nico tugged his hair again and Will bit his lip in response but it just made the raven smile into the kiss. 

Will moved his hands back down and gripped the back of Nico’s thighs. The smaller boy nodded slightly and jumped up, wrapping his legs around Will’s waist and hooking his ankles as the blonde held him up. They both moaned softly and pulled back to catch their breath. As soon as he inhaled shakily, Nico latched his mouth into Will’s jaw and neck, trailing kisses up his throat and nibbling at his ear lobe. Will began to walk them forward slightly and when Nico’s back hit the wall with a slight thud, he pulled away and gasped.

Will felt better than he ever had, like his entire life was leading up to that moment where everything was perfect and as it should be. He gripped Nico’s ass again and leaned down to suck hickeys into the pale skin of his throat. Every gasp and sigh and moan the smaller boy let out felt like a gift and Will could barely comprehend anything beyond them. 

He was riding a high of righteousness and every touch felt sacred. ‘This is what I am meant to do,’ Will thought as he continued to press Nico into the wall and make him fall apart with every press of his lips and grip of his fingers, ‘This has to happen again.’ 

Chapter Text

Will was sitting on their couch when Nico got home for work. He heard the door shut softly and the quiet rustle of shoes being kicked toward the rack and his jacket being shrugged off. It was all familiar and the routine of such domesticity made Will’s heart flutter in satisfaction and joy. After a few seconds of silence though, he knew something was wrong and suddenly his heart was pounding instead, anxiety racing up his spine. Nico always called out to him when one of them would come home, every single time, but today he was quiet. Will heard Nico’s gentle steps come towards him, (he knew it was Nico, he always knew) and he stood up. As soon as he got to his feet, Nico rounded the corner and immediately locked eyes with him. They stood silently for a moment as Will took in the sight of his fiancé. It was a moment of relief, that Nico was there and l ooking at him and within his reach, and then it all came crashing down. 

Will saw the way his shoulders were slouched and how shaky his hands were at his sides and how his eyes were wide and watery. Something was wrong , Will was certain of that, and Nico looked like he was on the verge of tears. And then Nico’s lip started to tremble and he squeezed his eyes closed to try and stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks but it didn’t matter, they slid down anyways and it made Will’s heart fall to pieces. Will held out his arms and cooed, “Oh, honey .”

Nico rushed toward him, flying into his arms and sending them tumbling back slightly, landing in a cuff onto the couch. Instantly, his arms were clutching the fabric of Will’s shirt and he was crying into his shoulder. Will wrapped his arms around him, pulling the smaller boy closer and fully onto his lap before placing one hand on his head and running his fingers through his hair, attempting to soothe him. Nico was shaking in his arms, clutching at him like Will was going to disappear. “Darling,” Will whispered softly, “It’s okay. I’m right here and it’s going to be okay.”

Nico shook his head and pulled back slightly. Although he was looking down and his hair was falling in his face, Will could see the red rim of his eyes and the tear tracks down his cheeks and he wanted nothing more than to make it disappear, to make Nico feel better (and eradicate whatever made him so upset in the first place). Will slid the hand threaded between Nico’s hair down to brush his thumb against his cheek, wiping away the tears that were still falling. Will spoke quietly and clearly, trying to make his voice as soothing as possible, “What’s wrong, love?” 

“I,” Nico stuttered between heaves, “I hate my job.”

Will’s mind paused for a moment at his words. Nico had hated jobs before. When he worked at a grocery store for two months, all he did was talk about how much he hated it. But he had never come home in tears, distraught and sobbing. And Nico was so excited about this job. He was working at an art gallery and when he had been hired, he had talked to Will for hours about how ‘This is going to be so amazing’ and ‘It’s a great way to network so when I start trying to show my pieces in galleries, people will already know who I am.’ It didn’t make any sense for him to now be crying in his arms. “Why?” Will asked gingerly. 

Nico tensed in his arms for a moment before another sob wracked his body. Will rubbed his back soothingly, cooing quietly and telling Nico to take deep breaths and that he could answer wanted. After a couple minutes, Nico pulled back again, his eyes downcast again. He took a shaky breath, his hands tightening their hold on Will’s shirt before loosening slightly. Will gently tugged one of Nico’s hands away so he could intertwine their fingers and he revelled in the way that his fiancé seemed to relax slightly. “Minos is supposed to be my mentor,” Nico mumbled after a moment, his breath hitching, “And all he does is berate me and manipulate me and I hate it. I hate him . I hate how he looks at me and talks to me and today he-” his voice broke off into a sob.

Fury flared in Will’s chest. The anger was familiar, so recognizable that it would have been almost comforting if it hadn’t meant that someone was tormenting or intimidating Nico, his Nico. He bit his cheek to steady himself and his fingers dug slightly into the small of Nico’s back. Will kept his voice level and smooth despite the rage crawling up his throat, “Nico, honey, what happened ?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Nico whispered.

“Yes, it does,” Will told him, tipping Nico’s chin up to look at him, “If it made you this upset then it matters.”

Nico’s face started to crumple again. “No,” he cried, “Will, it doesn’t matter. He’s my mentor, he is supposed to help me and even though he makes me feel like shit and treats me like I’m a petulant child he can punish,” Nico’s words made Will’s blood boil, “If I speak up or go over his head, I could lose this job and then I’m done, that’s it for any hope of a career in this city.”

Will was itching to find Minos and make him regret ever even casting a sideways glance at Nico but he pushed it down. His fiancé was upset and hurting and Will just wanted to make it better. He looked at Nico, studying his face, and gently cupped his jaw. “What can I do to make it better, baby?” he asked quietly.

“Nothing,” Nico sniffed, “I just need to get through a few more months so I can say I have the experience. I don’t have any other options if I want to keep this opportunity. I just need to get used to it.”

‘Get used to it,’ Will echoed in his head, ‘No. ’ He refused to ever let Nico get used to this, to having to come home in tears and feeling like he was anything other than perfect. He hated the fact that Nico would ever resolve to let himself deal with that, be treated like that. Will took a breath and made a decision. “What if I go to that chinese place you like? The one with the eggrolls?” Will offered. 

Nico leaned his face into the hand Will still had pressed against his cheek. “I don’t want you to leave,” he whispered.

Will’s heart swelled and he bit back a grin. “You need to eat something and anything I make is going to make you feel worse,” he joked, making Nico’s lips upturn slightly.

“Can I come with?” Nico asked quietly.

The quiet desperation in his voice made Will’s knees weak and heart ache. Will almost said yes, every fiber of his being was telling him to give Nico whatever he wanted, but he shook his head gently. “Stay here,” he told him gently, “I won’t be gone long and you have had a hard day.”

Nico looked like he wanted to protest more but he just shifted off of Will’s lap and curled up beside him, pulling his knees up to his chest and tugging a blanket over him. He was making himself small, trying to comfort himself , and it almost made Will’s resolve crumble. Instead, he stood up slowly and then bent down to press a kiss to the smaller boy’s forehead. Nico sighed in response and his eyes fluttered shut. “When I get back, we can watch a movie,” Will promised.

Nico’s voice was so small as he responded that Will almost didn’t hear it, “And you’ll hold me?”

Will’s knees nearly buckled and his chest was bursting with love. But Nico was looking at him with such uncertainty and he had made himself so small. He looked terrified, of anything and everything, that Will would reject him. Will could feel the anger still thrumming in his chest, at the fact that someone had Nico feel that small, that unsure of himself and his worth, in the first place. “Of course,” Will told Nico, running a hand through his hair gently, “I always will.”

----

Will came back in less than an hour. He was gone just long enough to make Nico worry and Will knew that, he tried to get back as soon as possible, but there was only so much he could do to make it quick. He rushed into their apartment and into the living room. Nico had shifted from the corner of the couch to the center, his knees still up to his chest but this time his arms were wrapped around them. He looked startled as Will entered the room but he relaxed after just arms falling to his sides and his legs shifting so they were crossed beneath him. “Will,” he sighed, looking up at the taller boy with such adoration that it saturated the room. 

On the coffee table in front of Nico, Will set down the bag of chinese food and an ID badge. Nico looked down and stared blankly for a moment before glimpsing the name on the badge. Minos , read part of it, and a look of understanding passed across his features.

Will was afraid for a moment that this was something he shouldn’t have done. This was another line Will had crossed without asking and he was terrified of the day where Nico would tell him that was too far. But then Nico looked up at him with a wide, beaming, beautiful smile and god , he never should have been worried. Will surged forward and sat beside Nico, who immediately moved onto his lap, straddling him.

Nico was leaning over him slightly, his hands on Will’s shoulders and he was still smiling so wonderfully. Will grinned back, placing his hands on Nico’s waist. The raven leaned down, pressing their foreheads together and bumping their noses. “I love you so fucking much,” Nico muttered before pressing their lips together.

Will’s grip immediately tightened on his fiancé’s waist in an attempt to ground himself. Nico was kissing him desperately and Will could taste the love on his lips. He was still buzzing with adrenaline but with every second Nico continued to press himself against him and graze his teeth against Will’s lips, it seemed to release. Will slid his hands up and down Nico’s sides and took control of the kiss. Nico melted into him, his lips becoming pliant as his fingers entangled in his golden curls. The room felt heavy, as if the air was bearing down on them both, pressing them closer together. It felt impossible for Will to ever pull away from Nico, to stop kissing and kissing and kissing him until they shared every breath, every touch, every second of existence. Will swallowed all the love and trust and adoration that Nico gave him. He craved it, craved the way that Nico gave him all that asked for and all that he didn’t, the way that he was everything Will had ever wanted.

It was divine. Every touch was religious and sent shockwaves through Will’s system, leaving him gasping and chasing after Nico. He was certain that Nico was his soulmate, the only person that would ever truly understand and love him. I would do anything for him,’ he thought, ‘I will spend every moment consumed by the thought of him and entirely devoted to him.’