Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

For a fashion designer, Asahi wasn’t nearly as flamboyant as one might think. His line of work was surprisingly calming and comforting, in the recluse of his office. That, however, didn’t mean his life lacked any sort of excitement or bustle in it: one small-statured man would figuratively barge at his door, the embodiment of thrill itself.

Asahi appreciated his presence, probably even more if it wasn’t 1 AM.

Being 8 hours apart was difficult to say the least, but a link between kindred spirits could be stretched for a distance of a million miles and remain unbreakable: even if the kindred spirits themselves were unaware of the other’s feelings.

Asahi had realized this only recently, where after a solid week of being denied the alleviation of sleep, he would become pensive with thought. He loved this job, no doubt about it, but it was exhausting at times. He tried to find something good out of staying up during those lonely nights. It wasn’t long before he realized: what he would look forward to most during the day occurred at night, where he would call Noya on a daily basis.

It had been about a month since this realization hit him, and he didn’t retaliate against it. He wondered what he could do about it, but doubted if he had it in him. The daily talks with Noya continued, usually late at night for Asahi and sometime in the evening for Noya.

On one arbitrary Tuesday though, Asahi didn’t get a call. Truthfully, he didn’t even notice until he had arisen the next morning (it’s funny, how in sync those two could be).

In the early dawn of 6 AM, Asahi’s mind, strangely enough, had a mind of its own.

Why didn’t Noya call me? Did I upset him? Maybe it’s because I fell asleep too, but how did he know that? Okay, calm down, calm down… If only Asahi had the ability to listen to himself.

You’re a fully grown man, just like Noya. If you're busy, he’s probably also busy. It’s fine, it’s fine!

…

But what if Noya hates me? The mere thought made him shudder.

He had called and texted multiple times, with little reaction. Stuck in this nasty, cyclic mental state, Asahi considered whether or not he should be happy this week was incredibly busy. On one hand, he was hustling the entire week, but rarely with focus. On the other hand, he had something to distract himself from overthinking the situation.

For a few torturous days, Asahi attempted to put his mind elsewhere (although, he was barely awake at this point). The fragile silence of 1 AM was shattered by a soft ringtone. Asahi had absentmindedly picked up the phone, assuming it was one of his numerous clients. He was instead, greeted with a scream heard halfway across the world (a surprise for sure, but not unwanted. Never unwanted.)

“ASAHI-SAN!” Noya yelled with a sense of excitement, nervousness, and felicity dripping from his tone.

After taking a good two seconds to fully comprehend it was Noya that had called him, Asahi was about to speak, if Noya had not interjected.

“I’m so sorry Asahi-san! I saw all your messages and voicemails, I’m not ignoring you, I promise! See I haven’t been able to use my phone for the whole day, I broke it and it’s a funny story actually! And kinda long, and… hello?” Noya may be pretty rambunctious at times, but at least he was self aware. Guilt seeped into him for a second, at the thought of screaming at his friend at 1 am just to ramble about how he broke his phone.

(Noya also couldn’t ignore the internal grimace he made upon thinking that he could only call Asahi “friend.” Nothing more. He wanted more.)

“Noya... “

“Everything okay?”

Asahi let out a long sigh of relief; he could practically feel a heavy weight being lifted off his shoulders. Or maybe, knowing Noya, it was probably thrown or launched instead of lifted.

“God, Noya, I’m so happy you called me. It’s been so stressful this week, I’m exhausted.” Before he knew it, Asahi was rambling without thought, as expected at 1 AM.

“I’ve been wracking my brain over everything, with work and all. This week has been bad, so many deadlines. I missed your calls. Really, I just missed you... I’m glad you're okay and not upset. How do you always know what to say? It’s incredible, what would I do without you?” Asahi let out a soft laugh. “No wonder I love you…”

Noya stayed radio silent. The ramblings of a love-stricken, half-unconscious man truly were lethal.

There was a long pause in the conversation: for Noya, a pause of disbelief and a surge of hope, while for Asahi, a pause of relief and comfort, not realizing what he had just absent-mindedly spoken.

“Do you mean that, Asahi-san?” Noya whispered this so softly, Asahi almost thought it was someone else.

“Hmm? Do I mean…” The realization of what he just said came crashing down on him. Asahi could feel all the color in his body vanish in an instant, replaced with pure dread and shame, that this was the way Noya would find out.

“I”M SO SORRY, I--”

“Do you?” Noya was surely sincere, and sounded as if he was trying to keep his voice from shaking.

“...” Asahi figured that after everything that had happened this week, after all the mental torment and stress with which he had no one to blame but himself, he didn’t have the mental strength to try and lie his way out of it.

“Yeah, I mean it. I’m sorry you had to find out this way…”

“Stop apologizing.”

“R-Right…”

“...How long?” Noya is a man of little regrets, but if there was one thing he wanted to change in his life, it was this. The one thing that really scared him, sometimes.

“I only realized about a month ago, but I’m sure I’ve felt this way for a long time. I always thought you were this amazing guy who could lift up everyone around him, and you know how talking to people is stressful for me sometimes, but it never was with you. I just never put two and two together.”

Asahi would surely be red from head to toe the next morning, when he looks back and everything he’s revealing right now. But right now, he couldn’t find it in himself to care about that. It was so dark in this lonely house he resided, especially at the bleak hours of 1 AM. He could only find himself drawn to the only light he could find, Someone so radiant, even from a million miles away.

Noya, after a good minute of pensive thinking, finally decided to speak. “Tomorrow is an off day, right?”

Asahi looked at his phone, Saturday. Despite how long the week had felt, the days went by in a flash.

“Yeah, it is.”

“I’ll book a plane. I want to see you again.”

“Ah, okay. ....Wait--”

“Let’s figure out how we can make this work in person.”

Asahi took a minute to analyze what Noya meant. He had made a lot of life altering realizations that day (or night, really).

“Wait, does this mean--”

“Yeah, it does. I… I love you too, Asahi-san!” Noya’s radiant smile could somehow still be felt through the small, cramped phone screen. Asahi, although still maintaining the inherent tiredness of 1 AM, was ecstatic.

Asahi does eventually get some sleep, right before Noya comes barging in, but literally this time.

They talk for hours (in person this time!), and Noya does eventually tell him what had happened to his phone. Something about Noya going fishing and dropping his phone into the ocean? Asahi couldn’t remember the exact details; he was too happy to focus on anything other than the biggest smile that adorned Noya’s face. Not that he really needed to remember what happened, he has all the time in the world to ask again. For the calm and comforting life of a fashion designer, Asahi sure was grateful that mundane things like phone calls could be a vibrant ride with the right people.

No, not exactly people, more like person. More like Noya, just Noya.

Chapter Text

“That’s the third time you cancelled this week.” Despite the disappointing tone in her voice, which hinted at some kind of emotion, Mika’s usually warm and bright eyes were stone cold (or rather, ice cold). 

Daishou couldn’t look her in the eyes. He had seen how they had slowly lost their vibrant nature the more he denied her requests. It hurt him to acknowledge that he was the one who drained that happiness. 

“Sorry.” Daishou replied sheepishly, going through the same routine over again. “It’s just--”

“Practice.” Mika declared quietly, yet firmly. “It’s always practice.” Mika’s usually bubbly and friendly nature had vanished, replaced with a morose and hurt feeling. She was delaying the inevitable. 

Daishou didn’t say anything. What could he say? That she should just... overlook the fact that he could never make any time for her? And she, being the angel she is, put up with this for weeks? Daishou couldn’t help but feel an immense guilt. He always placed her second, with volleyball taking precedence. He knows the feeling of being good, but not the best or most important; he knows it well. 

Daishou didn’t want her to have to feel the same way. He didn’t want for them to stay the way they are, but what choice did he have? He was sure that by now, Mika was through with his selfishness. 

“Suguru, look at me. Do you love me more than volleyball?” Mika asked him as she stared at him directly in the eyes. 

The question had taken Daishou aback. “Y-Yes, of course I--”

“Don’t lie to me, Suguru.” Mika looked into his eyes for some kind of spark, some kind of hope that he still cared for and valued her. But with snake eyes, pupils so narrow nothing was visible, it was damn near impossible to find anything (whether it was present, or not).

Daishou, again, was at a loss of words. In all honesty, he couldn’t look at her and admit that volleyball was the most important thing in his life. He couldn’t lie either. But then again, it wasn’t as if he needed to say anything at all. Mika knew him well, too well. 

Mika, finally accepting what she had known for too long, had to question him once more. 

“...did you, ever, love me more than volleyball…?” She had to ask him, to know if there was ever a time where she didn’t have to acknowledge the truth. To know if there was ever a chance she made him happy. 

Daishou, said nothing. 

There was a deafening silence. A moment of trying to avoid the impending pain. The eye of a hurricane, however, can only last for so long. 

Mika audibly scoffed, her frustration finally boiling over. 

“You're so boring, you know that? Is that all you plan on doing your whole life, just practicing and getting absolutely nowhere? Yeah, you do that, keep digging yourself into a hole. God Suguru, you’re so much more pathetic than I thought.” Mika said this through her teeth, through her fangs. In true snake-like behavior, her words were coated and dripping with venom: painful and meant to sting. 

Mika knows Daishou well, so she knows how to bite him where it hurts. 

There was a lot packed into her words: malice, anger, spite. Maybe even pain. What there wasn’t, was truth. Mika didn’t really think any of those things. Her Suguru, boring ? She never once thought of him as such. She never thought his practice was for naught either. She hoped his weeks of labor would fruit to something, something that was maybe worth putting her second. 

She knew damn well how much Daishou wanted to go to nationals. At least just once, as a final high school accomplishment. This was his last chance, so of course he would give it his all. Even if it meant pushing her away…. Mika knew she was selfish. Selfish to not let her kind and caring boyfriend give it his all to win, just this once. 

She tried to be patient. She really, really, tried her best, but there was only so much she could take. After a while, it really felt like she didn’t matter to him at all. It wasn’t just the practice either. The usual good morning and good night texts had stopped. He stopped visiting her between classes. As for the little time they did spend together, he rarely paid close attention to anything she said (not out of boredom or disinterest in her, he was just preoccupied with stress. Mika knew this, but it didn’t make it any less painful).

Not that any of their previous actions mattered anymore, she had already made her attack and gotten her revenge. After spitting out all her venomous words, Mika found a pungent and nasty aftertaste. If revenge was supposed to be sweet, why did it taste so bitter? 

As painful as it was for her, it was ten times worse for Daishou. Daishou hadn’t said a single word to her. The venom Mika exuded had been targeted specifically to rip his heartstrings apart. 

Daishou was fully aware of how he treated Mika. He knew she deserved better. He knew for the time being he couldn’t put her ahead of volleyball, he knew he didn’t treat her right, and he knew that one day, she would be fed up and leave. He guesses he just wished there was a part of Mika who loved him enough to stay. 

“It’s over, Suguru.” Just like that, Mika left the room they were in, and slammed the door so strongly her anger shook Daishou off the ground a bit (or maybe he was already shaking, he wasn’t really sure). 

The next few months, for Daishou at least, were a blur of practicing. He improved some, there was no doubt about it, but the higher he got, the lonelier it was. He had tried to rid his mind of Mika, his sweet Mika-chan who would always give him the biggest smile anytime she saw him, who would always ask him about his day, who would always wait for him after practice, no matter how late it got... 

His efforts to forget her were fruitless, with little things that reminded him of her everyday (including, but not limited to: the sweet hazelnut color of her hair, how she was the embodiment of the color pink, lovely and pure, and the soft beam of light anyone would be gracious to feel, emanating from Mika’s gorgeous face every time she smiled). Sometimes, he was even flat out asked about what happened. 

“By the way, did you ever get over Mika-chan dumping you?” That stupid, nosy, alley cat Kuroo had to just barge in, didn’t he?

“What?!”

“You sure you’re gonna be able to play this match? You must be pretty hurt.” Kuroo had his typically shit-eating grin. His smile was anything but amusing. 

Master of provocation my ass… Daishou thought to himself. He just knows how to insult people. 

“Wait, what?! I wasn’t dumped! I’m the one who dumped her!” Looking back on these words, Daishou concluded that he wasn’t as different from Mika as he thought. The two both said things through their teeth.