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how you've changed, my dear

Summary:

nagomi visits hawai'i for the first time after her trade to the crabs. her goddess has a few questions.

Notes:

disclaimer: i'm a crab so this is speculation, rather than any kind of concrete or specific worldbuilding for the fridays. i'm not sure if / how much it conflicts with established lore, i just think extended blaseball pantheon is cool so i'm just like... grabbing it and Running.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Nagomi didn’t pack headphones for this flight, long as it may be. It’s dark outside her window, and the roar of the engines has long since melded with the scufflings, murmurings, and faint snores of her fellow passengers into one solid wall of white noise. 

She can tell they’re getting close to landing: not because of any map or pattern in the endless dark water below, but because she can feel it. Her body is light and her thoughts, which had been swimming with anxiety all day, begin to clear. The date on her phone’s lock screen abruptly jumps from Tuesday to Friday. There’s a sudden draft of something floral cutting through the stale air. A woman walks down the center aisle, and sits down next to Nagomi without a word. The smell of flowers intensifies. She is indescribable and unmistakable.

“Welcome home,” the woman whispers. She’s not looking at Nagomi, just straight ahead at the magazines tucked into the seat in front of her. 

“Thank you, my Lady,” Nagomi responds, drawing her claw arm closer in her lap.

“You were missed, my dear.”

“I missed being home.”

Her Lady Of Perpetual Friday smiles, still not looking directly at her returned daughter. “I know.”

It’s quiet for a few minutes. The noise of the plane reduces, bit by bit, as the soft movements of the travelling tourists slow to a crawl. Nagomi’s thoughts, though, are racing. Her Lady is gregarious, for a goddess. She enjoys spending time with her people, but that does not make the occasion of being visited by a goddess much more common or casual. 

After a long while, when the vibes are apparently right, Lady Friday begins again. “I’m always surprised by how much people can change in just a short trip away from home. You more than most, I suppose.” Another smile, soft and small. Her Lady is not accusatory or harsh, but Nagomi winces nonetheless. Ah. That’s what this was about. 

She struggles for words. “I- yes. Baltimore is a very interesting city.” It’s not any kind of answer, but it’s all she can think of. 

“It’s been a long time since I last visited. How is the old crab?”

“Uh, dead?”

Her Lady’s laugh is like waves on the shore. “Yes, dead. She’s quite bad at being convincing about it, though.”

“I suppose so.”

“Most active corpse in history, I imagine, even for a goddess.” her Lady muses. “She spoke to you.” It’s not a question. 

“Yes.”

“And how did you come to your decision?” The Goddess finally turns to look Nagomi in the eye. 

“I-“ Nagomi looks down, unable to hold the gaze. “I don’t know. It happened pretty suddenly.”

“Nagomi, I may not have spoken with The Olde One Under The Bay for a while now. But I know her well, and I know that she asked you, before she changed you, and Saw your heart to ensure that you were true in your decision. That is something I’ve always respected about her, no matter our… differences in philosophy. I know you must have some reason, and I am just curious to hear it.”

Nagomi nods, and takes longer this time to gather her words. Her Lady is nothing if not patient. “I have been feeling… Lost. And tired. This is not likely to be my last trade, my last team. I am the first player to be traded twice in a single election, and that does not give me much hope for a consistent, stationary future.”

“So why attach yourself so strongly to this one?”

Truth be told, Nagomi hadn’t thought much at all before jumping into the Bay. She’d heard her new teammates give her the warnings, heard their advice about waiting a while before making the decision about carcinization. It could be reversed, yes, but not a choice to be taken lightly. 

She’d listened to them, spent a few hours letting the words sink in as they showed her around the rest of the Crabitat, her new accommodations, favorite local haunts around the city. She’d ended up strolling along the docks, chatting with Kennedy and Combs. She’d glanced out over the water, and something in her… She doesn’t remember what it was. Her new team’s co-captains had tried to grab at her, stop her, but before she knew it she’d taken a running leap into the dark moonlit water.

It was… gross. Not very deep, and aquatic plants clung slimy to her limbs as she swam. She heard a splash behind her, someone following, and a deep underwater echo, a pure wave of sound in a language she didn’t yet understand. Whoever had tried to follow her promptly got out of the water. Their mother wanted a word with the new recruit, and they knew better than to disobey her.

“She asked, and I suppose I found some comfort in the idea that I could face a changing future with the blessings she offered. In the idea that I could evolve to meet the challenge.”

Her Lady hums, thinking this over. “The Crabmother and myself are very different in just about every respect. While she is fond of hand selecting and molding her disciples into her own image, pulling them forward with her in service of the Great Crab Reckoning, I have taken in people of all kinds, no matter how they come to me. I maintain them, I upkeep. My gift to them is more time, it is Eternal Friday for as long as they desire it. Every life under my influence, I give guidance and blessings to. She has a goal in mind, and limited agency in her… weakened state.”

“That’s certainly one way of framing death,” Nagomi tilts her head to one side and smirks, but continues listening. 

“She has a goal,” the goddess repeats, “and she is impatient to reach it. She is hasty by nature, and I will admit to worrying for you, worrying that you might be taken up in that hastiness. I am a protector of these islands, and the patron of my team. My power is great, but not limitless, and I have felt my ability to reach you wane as you grew further from home.”

Nagomi nods. She had noticed this, a slight deepening in the shadows under her eyes and a sense that slowly, she had begun to age again. Not immediate, and not drastic, just a new weight in her bones and the realization that, this year, she would celebrate a birthday other than her thirty first.

“I will not pretend as though I have stopped worrying for you, Nagomi. Nor will I pretend to be neutral on the Olde One’s methods. I grew fond of you, while you were here, and have remained fond still.”

The goddess pauses, glancing down at her hands. “I hope you have many good memories of this place, and of your time under my care. I hope that you will carry my blessings with you, wherever you go from here. Don’t lose yourself to that busy world.”

“Of course, my Lady,” Nagomi responds. “Always.”

The goddess nods, and rises. “Thank you for indulging me, Nagomi. Enjoy spending some time with your family.”

It feels abrupt, but her Lady is a busy woman, after all. “Goodbye.”

Lady Friday smiles. “No need for goodbyes. I’ll be around, don’t you worry.” She’s walking away, and another flowery breeze sweeps through the cabin as the other passengers start to resume their movements at a normal speed and the seatbelt lights turn on overhead. 

“Oh, and-- don’t tell Her, i’ll never hear the end of it-- the claw is a good look on you, by the way.”

Notes:

1. it's kind of weird writing early nagomi. like... oh you sweet untraumatized summer child. i am so sorry about what's coming.
2. i feel like both crab mom and lady friday are goddesses of time, just in vastly different ways. fast and slow, long-term and in-the-moment. you know, stuff like that. they go way back.
3. there's probably some more i could do with this, but i'm not sure if i will? slap that mf subscribe button to find out, idk.
4. shoutouts to the crabitat <3
5. fun fact: i wrote a solid 3/5 of this at work. it wasn't supposed to be this long and i kind of had no endgame in mind for it, oops. hope it doesn't show too much