Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Chris had been used all her life. Even Finé, someone who seemed to truly care for her, was using her.

No one would hug her because they never cared about how she felt. Those adults never listened to her.

Even now, when she is surrounded by friends, she has no one that wants to hug her. None of them would want to hug someone like her.

Maybe that's why she is sitting on her bed with her blanket cocooned around her. It's not because she's lonely. The blanket was very warm despite her buying it for cheap at a nearby mall. Its dark color went well with the blank walls. It also worked well to hide the times when she feels like this.

Dammit. Now,, her tears won't stop. It can't stop.

She wants to connect to others, but she's only beginning to learn. Chris still doesn't know if someday the hand she extends will be brutally kicked down like before.

All she knew up until now was violence. It was only until recently that she learned that songs weren't only meant for destruction but could also be used to save others. Even she was saved because of songs.

But she has already hurt so many others already. All of her current friends are people she had hurt in the past.

How could she make it up to them? Would a simple apology work? What if they abandon her like that woman?

She knows this all to be useless worries, but her tenuous hopes had just begun to bloom after being crushed underfoot so many times before.

All Chris knows is that if she never tries, then she will never know, so she began to rise from her bed.

Someone rung her doorbell at that moment.

Who could it be?

Genjuurou? Wait, wasn't he busy making a training program for the three Symphogear wielders?

Tsubasa? She had some late night recording sessions to get through because of her three week absence.

Hibiki? Chris would know. She's been getting a bunch of text messages from her since she had been allowed back into the public. It seems she's texting quite fervently right now because Chris now has over 90 text messages to read through.

Either ways, Chris knew that whoever it is, they wouldn't be able to wait forever. So, she rushed to the door and tried to open it.

At first, she fumbled with the lock. Why couldn't she do such a simple thing? Her hands suddenly felt sweaty. She couldn't breathe. The breaths she took were suddenly not enough. So, she took a fresh breath of air....

And shakily unlocked the door and wrenched it open.

A girl around the same age as her stood in her doorway. It was Kohinata Miku, the girl who picked her up from the streets.

"Oh, it's you." That didn't come out the way she intended it to. Or as confidently as she wished it to be.

Miku was definitely put off by how she addressed her. She even started fidgeting a little. Chris has to fix this somehow.

"I'm sorry, that came out wrong." This conversation was starting to prick at her heart a little bit. How could a little bit of socializing with someone panick her this much?

"No, no it's fine. I was kind of a sudden visitor." She seems fine with it. Could she be hiding her discomfort? She was the sort of person to hide what she was feeling

"So, why did you come to my apartment?" Chris really couldn't think of any reason why the married couple would split up even for a day. Did it have something to do with the 100 texts Hibiki sent to her?

"Hibiki was getting worried by how you weren't answering her texts." Miku said this calmly as if she intended to calm an agitated beast. How worried was that idiot to send so many texts and then Miku?

"I was kind of busy doing stuff." Chris knows this explanation wasn't good enough. Her red rimmed eyes must make what she was doing pretty clear to Miku.

If that wasn't embarrassing enough, Miku started shuffling closer.

"Do you want a hug?" Chris was surprised by this question, yet she was even more surprised by how Miku didn't grill her for details. Just like before.

"I wouldn't mind it if I getting one, but it's not like I need one." Even now, Chris can't be truly honest with herself. Her neck prickled and she waited for Miku to respond.

"Then, I'll give you one. Tell me if you don't want to be hugged." So, Miku hugged her.

It wasn't what she expected.

Miku's body felt warm against her own. She felt her arms curl around her back and tighten. Chris didn't know where to place her hands, so she left them by her sides. Miku's cardigan felt itchy whenever they brushed by her hands. It was a nice feeling.

She never had felt so safe and warm. Although hugging Miku made her feel a little awkward, she really enjoyed hugging her. But is it really fine for her hands that hurt others to find comfort in others?

"Is this really okay?" Chris finally asked the burning question in her mind. She didn't know what the answer was going to be.

"What do you mean?" Miku seems genuinely confused. This may have been a stupid question.

Although she was confused, Miku waited patiently for Chris' answer.

"Us being all friendly when I hurt you, Hibiki, and Tsubasa in the past. Is it really okay for me to be happy when I hurt so many people?" She needed to get this out before it festered even deeper inside of her.

"It's definitely okay! Even if you made mistakes in the past, it doesn't mean you are any less deserving of happiness." Miku said it with such passion that it sounded almost rehearsed. Did she prepare it to comfort Chris?

Those words were the ones she needed to hear. Chris could no longer hold back her tears from before, and they returned in full force, wetting the shoulder of Miku's cardigan.

She and Miku stayed like that until Miku's phone buzzed. When Miku looked at it, her serene expression turned into a look of fond exasperation. It must be the idiot texting her.

"I have to go back home." All good things must end. It's not like Chris wanted to feel more of her warmth or anything.

Miku immediately followed that statement with, "but you can come with me too and stay overnight!" Did she notice how upset Chris was?

However, Chris knew she couldn't go in between the married couple.

"I'll go when I feel less busy."

So, Miku left and Chris stayed in her apartment with Miku's warmth still lingering on her.

Chapter Text

"Believe in the song in your heart." Her last words to Hibiki. Not even a single word to Chris, whom she manipulated and abused under her care.

There's some sort of sick irony going on with how now she can understand those words. Those words repeated so many times by the idiot that she can even hear it in her dreams.

Chris truly believes in those words with all her very being, but she doesn't share that trust with the person who said it.

It's the fact that she of all people got to pull one over them. After pretending to be all nice, she dragged a piece of the Moon hurtling to Earth! Although Chris and the Second Division Symphogear users did stop that shard from destroying Earth, she got to leave with her dignity intact despite her thorough betrayal of everyone and everything. Like the cats.

Chris could never look at cats the same way after her time with her. Everyone at this point knows about her thing with cats. Genjuurou would especially know since he led a raid into her desolate castle. He would have seen that cage filled with the victims of her.

Chris really needed to stop getting lost in her thoughts or one day it will bite her in the ass.

Speak of the devil and it will appear.

There was a cat standing there. It possessed haunting amber eyes. Just like that one. Its black fur was short and matted.

How unlucky must Chris be to find a cat that looks similar to that one.

It's almost like it wanted her to find it. Did it want revenge for what she did in the past?

That's impossible, that cat had definitely died.

There's no way it could have been resurrected. If you and Kazanari Tsubasa were resurrected through the power of music, then why wouldn't an animal also be brought back with that same power?

It's not the same cat! It can't be.

She saw it. It was just like crab meat after her 'special treatment' of it when she noticed Chris' attachment to cats.

Chris had to get away before the cat got to her. She doesn't deserve to be around cats after what she let her do to them. Her feet were already taking her away before she knew it. They thudded against the cement like her heart.

She wouldn't—no couldn't stop. If she doesn't stop running, her past will catch upon again. This isn't the kind of problem she could solve by talking it out or tossing it in a portal. She can only run from the boogeyman—more like a boogeycat— in her past.

So she ran–for a total 10 minutes. It wasn't like she was known for her stamina or anything! For a gunner like her, this was perfectly normal! Normal like running from a stray cat.

No. She has to stop thinking. As Genjurou sometimes remembered to say, "Always have a cool down after the real intense workouts!" or at the very least that's what the one in her head would say.

Chris walked from her spot on the sidewalk into an alley. And she sat behind a trash can. She can't stand the feeling of people's eyes on her. It makes her uncomfortable.

Meow. The cat was here. The same exact one as earlier with its matted black fur and orange eyes. Its head was tilted as if to say "Orange you glad I'm here".

She doesn't know what to say, except she does.

"How did you follow me all the way here?!" She may have exclaimed a little too loudly because the cat decided to beat a hasty retreat then and there. However, a different animal had been attracted by her yell.

An animal named Tachibana Hibiki who quote on quote "will tell Chris her weight when they are better friends".

An animal that ran into the alleyway a little too quickly for someone who shouldn't be there.

"Chris-chan, are you okay with being hugged right now?" Hibiki asked surprisingly softly.

"Sure, idiot." Chris couldn't help but add that. She doesn't want to feel pitied but other than that she doesn't know what she wants.

Hibiki took the opportunity to jump at her when she was given consent for a hug. Chris could feel her heartbeat through their connected chests.

It was too fast. But it could have just been her own heart.

The idiot was really warm. It was almost like she had a fever. Wait, the only time Hibiki had been this warm was when the Gungnir shards still were spreading through her body. This idiot must have a fever or something. But it's always better to check.

"Hey idiot." It was either the Chris way or the high way.

"What is it Chris-chann?" She was definitely not doing too well if she is starting to slur her words now.

"Do you have a fever or something because your body feels really hot right now?"

"Awww. Chris-chan that's so nice of you to sayyy!" She couldn't be drunk or anything, right? Chris would probably better of calling Miku to help her get Hibiki home.

With one hand steadying Hibiki as she pulled her phone out of her pocket, she wasn't expecting Hibiki to wrap her arms around Chris' neck. Hibiki even started breathing on her neck. This felt weird. Was it getting warm in the open, cold alleyway or was it just her?

So, in this strange situation she was in, Chris decided to immediately call Miku. After she laid Hibiki on the floor, of course. It wasn't a her laying Hibiki down as much as her dropping her on the floor.

"Hey Miku. Is Hibiki sick?" Time to get that question answered.

"Yeah, she's been sick all day, Chris-chan. I keep telling her to stay in bed and let me take care of you, but she chased after you when she saw you running past Lydian." Even Miku saw such an embarrassing sight.

"Yeah and she caught up to me. Your girlfriend's here with me in some alleyway. Wait, I'll get out of the alley and tell you where we are. I'm going need some help carrying this idiot." It's a good thing she dropped—no, laid Hibiki on the floor, or Hibiki might have been still breathing on her neck during the call and that would get awkward fast.

Once Chris walked out the alley, without the idiot, she saw the okonomiyaki place that Hibiki and her friends liked to frequent. Chris thinks it was called Flowers. Either that or it was a type of flower like Lilies.

Chris put her phone up to her ear after calling Miku again, "Hibiki and I are near that okonomiyaki place you guys love so much. Can you come over and help me lug your idiot around?"

"I'll be there soon. It'll only take a few minutes."

Chris had almost forgotten that Miku used to be in track and field. She didn't expect Miku to come here so fast, so when Chris saw her, she definitely didn't scream.

"Ahh—oh it's you Miku." Chris almost thought that it was the cat that snuck upon her.

"Yeah, it's really me this time." Chris didn't know whether to laugh or cry at that joke, so she did both.

"Gack" If, for some reason, Chris ever meets Shem-Ha again, she's definitely going to blow her into bits.

"Sorry, sorry. My joke was a little bad, wasn't it?" What was Miku looking for in this question?

"It's okay. I'm glad that you're in better spirits after what happened. Do you want a hug?"

"Yes." Miku may never fully get over her problems like Chris hasn't, but each step to overcoming them has been meaningful to the both of them.

When they hug, her heart seems to be having a race against her brain on how fast they're going. Since Miku was a little taller than Chris, she could put her head on the other girl's shoulder. It was comfortable. She wanted to hug more tightly until there was nothing left. But that will only serve to hurt both of them.

Hibiki seems to have gained more coherence during all the hugging, "Miku, I don't feel so well after running so much, so can we go home?" Her face was greener than Chris thought possible, but the idiot was talented in doing the impossible.

"Sure! Chris, do you want to come with us to our home?" Miku asked gently with a smile.

"Yeah, I will. It's only fair after all those times you guys hung out at my place." This may be the first time I ever been to their shared room in months.

"Yay! Chris is going to sleep with us!" Wait, that doesn't sound right.

"Uh, Hibiki, you might want to phrase that differently." Miku says with a slightly fond grimace on her face.

"Idiot, you're supposed to do those things at home!" Chris feels like she's back in school again with these two.

"But we are going home to them?" Hibiki didn't get it, did she? Classic Hibiki.

Hibiki may be an idiot, but she is Miku's and Chris' idiot.