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Chapter Text

“You must forge your own path for it to mean anything.”
― Rick Riordan, The Lost Hero

Tim felt the blow on the ground and immediately knew that she was far away from Kansas.  

Her last memories were very confusing. She felt the heat, the sun beating down, the sand so hot she couldn't take more than a couple steps without it getting in every pore of her skin and the bright sun was stinging her neck and drying her mouth. A loud noise, an order she couldn't remember, someone shouting Tim, and then the strongest pain she had ever felt in her life. 

That's how she knew her name.

But on top of that, her memory was practically blank.

But there were things that stuck to her mind and brain like a leech. Memories and knowledge that she could not erase and it was red-hot in her mind. 

She used to be Robin. 

And Robin need Batman as much as Batman need Robin.

So the little she knew was this: 

Her name is Tim (And that was the diminutive of what exactly? A girl could be named Tim?)

She was Robin. Not anymore.

Robin is Batman's partner. 

Robin is a he, so while she was wearing the suit she should be called that. (But Tim it's not longer Robin, so is a she right now?)

Batman is a vigilante who protects Gotham (where she lives).

For some reason, she doesn't remember much of her life. But she was clear that she was no longer in her universe (was it even possible to change universes?).

Most important of all, in front of her is Batman. 

Chapter Text

"Names are not important. It's what lies inside of you that matters."

- Sarah J. Maas, Throne of Glass

Tim knew one thing, she shouldn't be there. 

She could handle her memory loss very well, something inside her told her that with her name, and a pen she could lay the world at her feet if she desired. Another part of her demanded that she remember how to speak and say something before the damn Justice League decided to kill her. 

Wait, Tim remembered the Justice League? 

It seems to be. But as with the rest of her memories, they were no more than random phrases, blurred images that caused her a huge headache if she tried to focus on it. She was already feeling a little dizzy and sleepy. 

The heroes in front of her stared at her with doubt, some of them even ready to attack her if she decided to move. But Batman's raised hand kept them back. Her stomach was tied at the sight of the protector of Gotham, but she also felt the weight of the world being finally lifted from her shoulders. A burden she didn't know she was carrying until that moment. A sense of calm enveloped her, the white flooding the corners of her eyes and little pricks biting the fingers of her hands. 

A voice inside her head told Tim that she should not let her guard down.  They might seem like good people, but maybe they weren't. Maybe they were possible villains who weren't going to ask before cutting her throat. Unconsciously, she put her hand on her neck, feeling a thin line running through her windpipe from side to side. Another voice inside her head agreed with the first one, but another one reminded her that there were worse things than death. And a much deeper and more sinister voice suggested that if she were to die she should carry as many as possible with her. 

Tim decided to ignore that last voice. 

"Batman" Tim whispered. Her voice was very different from her head, raspier and drier, as if she had not drunk a drop of water for years. And from what she knew, that was probably true. In fact, if she looked closely at her clothes, she could see sand stuck to her suit, and, for sure, her hair was even worse.  

She moved one step forward and then another. Turning the feet that separated them into inches. A wave of vertigo invaded her as she approached him. Her legs bent and Tim tripped over her own feet and fell on her knees.

Every muscle in her body hurt, and her head felt like it was filled with clouds. Honestly, Tim wasn't sure if trying to stand up was a good idea, but it was better than lying on the ground.

When she looked up, she found herself looking at the image of a man she didn't quite recognize. The black hood and suit were familiar to her, as well as the inexpressive line of his mouth. But something was missing there, something that was simple to see. But more she tried to remember it, more distant it was. 

A broken whisper came from her lips. "Bruce" groaned with her throat on fire. Her world was spinning, and the little light projected by the moon did not allow her to see the man's reaction. Her world was spinning, and the little light projected by the moon did not allow her to see the man's reaction. Although she doubted that there was any reaction, or that he heard her. 

Carefully, she reached out to touch the one person who seemed to be a constant in her mind. She remember almost nothing, but she remember him. And that must have meant something.

The white dots that had been bothering her vision for several minutes extended to cover it completely. A second later Tim felt her head bounce off the ground and again a voice screamed into her brain.  

The next second, the blessed unconsciousness comforted her.

***

The first thing Tim saw was space. The empty black that seemed to eat away every trace of light and hope. The window didn't have a good viewing angle, but she knew that if she tried a little harder she could see some of the earth around one of the corners. Again a deja vu, as painful as the previous ones. Her mind seemed bent on not allowing her to remember anything more than what was necessary. 

And her name was not in that category. 

She only remembered Tim, but it wasn't something she knew, it was something she heard before she disappeared and reappeared in that place. 

Her head was still killing, but the dizziness and white spots in her vision had completely disappeared. If she ignored her headache, Tim could even claim that she was in good condition. But that was a complete lie. As soon as she tried to get up from the stretcher she was lying on, the dizziness came back stronger than before, as if the saline solution she was connected just was a temporary painkiller.  

She had to hold on to the edge of the stretcher to avoid falling face-down on the white tiles in the nursery. There was a single stretcher, and enough medical equipment for one person, but Tim knew that this place had to be part of a medical center, but a very important one to have a view of the space. Her legs felt like wool, and the short white nightgown she was wearing revealed several bruises spread from her ankles to lose in the cloth. Her arms were in the same condition, but on top of that her skin was clean. No trace of previous injuries. 

Tim knew that this was wrong. She touched the scar on her throat, to make sure it was still there and that it wasn't just a bad move of her mind. The long line felt warm against her fingertips.

After several minutes she was able to get up without staggering or tripping over her bare feet.  She didn't have to walk very far, because the door was practically stuck to the stretcher.The room was no bigger than a few feet, enough to keep the place away from the claustrophobic, but not so big that Tim could be comfortable.

The limited medical equipment present was essential to keep someone alive. A respirator and a modern monitoring machine. A cabinet with medical supplies in which the most dangerous thing was a bandage and a sling. The place had enough to consider it an optimal medical environment, but it still felt inappropriate. Wrong. 

The most dangerous thing in the room was the needle that had once been stuck in her arm. And although Tim was tempted to turn it into a weapon, she knew that in her current state it would be no more than a joke to anyone.

Damn, you couldn't even stay up without wanting to throw up. 

On one side of the door was a small control panel, but even though Tim tried to maneuver it, the door remained firmly closed. 

In any other situation Tim would have fought to get out, but she knew at that moment it would only be energy lost. So she managed to get back to the stretcher and collapsed there until someone showed up and decided to take her out. 

Which happened almost an hour later. 

The door opened in a quick slide up and a blonde woman looked at her frowning from there. 

"You shouldn't have taken off your IV."

If Tim could have shrugged her shoulders, she would have done that.  "I don't see the point. I feel better."

It's a lie, and the both know it. But Tim remembers that she should never let her opponent know how bad she really is. And, although the woman in front of her does not appear to be a threat, the training she was subjected to is deeply rooted inside her, even if she can remember almost nothing about it.  But her muscles do, so they are tense despite the pain, ready to attack when necessary. 

"You have to come with me."

"I know," Tim replies. "This is the part where they interrogate me, isn't it?

The woman crosses her arms, causing her black leather jacket crunch. Tim knows that she has seen her somewhere before, maybe on TV? The woman finally nods and helps her to stand up, for which Tim is completely grateful. Despite being able to get up and walk a few steps, she is not sure she can make it past the door. 

Tim remembers feeling tired before, exhausted after days of waking. She also remembers receiving beatings that would send anyone straight to ICU, but she had still managed to keep it up. But there she was, needing help to walk from room to room. 

She didn't even want to think about how she had ended up so aching, tired and sick.  

The woman - after several minutes of breaking her brain thinking over a name, Tim finally remembered her as Black Canary - helped her walk to a bright white room, just like the rest of the place. A steel chair was waiting for her in the center, it looked uncomfortable and cold, but she couldn't complain. 

Tim knew that was her place, so took a seat without discussion. Black Canary remained leaning on the wall in front of her. Seconds later a door opened and some of the heroes she had seen before made their entrance. Tim vaguely recognized the man dressed in blue with the red cape, and also the woman with the lasso and the green man who followed her.  At first she cannot remember their names, but knows that if she tries hard these will end up appearing in her memory sooner or later, just as it happened with Black Canary. 

But the last hero that enters does not need to remember his name. Batman's name (Bruce) has not stopped repeating itself since she opened her eyes in that world that was not hers.

The door closes and the interrogation begins. 

***

They ask questions that Tim cannot answer. And she truly hopes that at some point the heroes will take turns and take on the roles of good cop and bad cop. Tim imagines Batman as the bad cop and the big blue guy as the good one. But they are all terribly boring and concise. Batman remains silent, staring at her from a corner. 

After a few minutes of unanswered questions, the atmosphere becomes tense. The heroes want more information, and although Tim wants to give it, she doesn't remember it. Tim knows that if doesn't do something soon she will be sent to a remote location until is willing to cooperate. And she doesn't want to be locked up again, even though she doesn't remember when she was locked up. 

"The lasso " Tim says as she moves into the chair. "Use the lasso on me. Then you will believe me."

And maybe that will help my memory, she thinks.  

Tim doesn't remember the name of the woman carrying it, but Tim does remember her heroic acts. She remembers the strong admiration and respect that bubbled up in her being every time she saw that woman fight against evil. Tim remembers admiring her as a goddess, until she realized that many times the gods are the ones who make the most mistakes. 

"Do you know about the lasso?" 

Tim shrugs. "Everyone knows about the lasso."

Heroes don't trust her, and that's okay, they'd be fools if they did. Tim doesn't trust them either. She expects them discuss her proposal, but they communicate without the need of words. With a nod of the head, the woman ties Tim with her golden lasso. A small tremor runs through her muscles, just where the lasso is tightest. She feels hot and her tongue is numb, which only makes her headache worse. 

The woman gives her a few minutes to get used to it and relax - because at first glance her condition is pitiful - and then the interrogation begins once again. 

"Who are you?"

"My name is Tim." She says, and the lasso forces her to say everything that's on her mind "I know it's a nickname, but it's all that I know. I don't know my full name, or last name. I only know that someone calls me Tim." 

"Where are you from?"

"I was born and raised in Gotham, I don't know what neighborhood or if I'll ever move. I also don't know who my parents are, or where I went to school."

If the woman is frustrated with Tim answers, she doesn't seem to show it.

"What do you remember?

"I don't remember very much, just the few hours since I showed up here.  And I say show up, because I know I'm not from here. Of the few things I remember with clarity is having been in the desert and a strong explosion. I remember studying about wormholes and their ability to open portals and transport matter. I remember a research about how it was believed that this would be a safe way to travel between dimensions or universes in the future. So I figure that somehow I ended up traveling to this universe." 

"Why were you investigating wormholes?" Batman speaks for the first time. His hoarse, low, guttural voice sends a chill down her spine. 

Tim shakes her head. "I don't remember it very clearly. I just know I was supposed to find you, Bruce." 

His name escapes from Tim lips for the second time before she can force herself to retain the information. Maybe it was a bad idea to be tied to the lasso of truth. 

Ignore the obvious surprise on everyone's face she keeps talking. Letting out the words that the lasso forces her to form. It feel like warm fathoms in her mouth.

"I had to find you because that's what Robin does. Be there for Batman."

"Are you Robin?"

"I was Robin. Now I don't know who I am."

Chapter Text

“What is a person, if not the marks they leave behind?”
― V.E. Schwab, The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue.

Over the next two days Tim went in and out of consciousness at a dizzying rate. Her body was extremely damaged, physically exhausted to the point of rupture. But her muscles, ligaments, tendons and bones were still intact, as if she were just a newborn baby who had never suffered any damage. But, despite all that, her cells remembered all the damage she had suffered, all the pain and reconstruction.

Tim didn't.

The few conversations she was able to have were questions about why her body was in that condition. But just as before, no matter how hard she tried, her mind was still blank. She only knew about the scars, her skin telling that it must be marked, completely filled with irregular patterns, lines and marks that must remain with her for the rest of her days. But for some reason it were gone. 

Another of the heroes, who later introduced himself as The Martian Manhunter, visited her many times to read her mind, explore it and try to discover the root of her memory loss. When she -and the heroes who had previously interrogated her- learned that Tim's mind looked like a mirror broken into a thousand pieces, they were disappointed. Tim was doomed to remain without memories for the moment. 

The martian told her that maybe she could get her memory back, he would do his part in trying to help her, but the rest was up to her. Tim would have to repair the broken pieces that were her mind. 

Of course it was easier said than done. 

On the third day she felt like new, then that day they discovered that she was healing three times faster than the average human. It was not a meta-human, she did not have the gene, but her DNA was altered. It had been broken and reconstructed so many times that it had forced itself to change and improve to adapt to the new conditions. 

That same day Batman met her in the nursery. 

"You were tortured" he said.

"It looks like it," Tim shrugged. "I don't remember".

"But your body does," Batman replied by taking off his hood, staring at it with Bruce Wayne's bright blue eyes. That color was so familiar to her, but so unfamiliar at the same time. "Before you found us your body suffered and was forced to recover in record time. You were hurt and you showed up here. You didn't have time to heal".

"But I don't have any scars or bruises"

"I'm still trying to figure out what happen to you."

Bruce hesitated for a few seconds, but finally he took the hand of the girl in front of him and squeezed it to comfort her, just like his mother did with him when he was a little boy, before his world went dark and twisted. Tim didn't hesitate to squeeze his hand back, and give him a little smile that made her look younger than she showed.

The girl was no more than seventeen years old, but her eyes were old and tired, her smile broken and hurt. She may not remember, but her body could not lie. 

Bruce had been dealing with liars for years. He knew them like the back of his hand. And Tim was not one of them. She was genuinely lost and desperate for help, for finding him. 

Tim didn't remember anything, but she remembered him. And that warmed his heart as only Dick's laughter, Alfred's discreet smile or a picture of his parents could do. 

"I don't know if I can bring back your memories, Tim. But I will help you recover."

"Thank you, Bruce."

Bruce slowly released her hand and cleared his throat to return to his Batman voice. 

"Black Canary has been following your progress these days, she thinks you're ready to go. Your body is still exhausted, but it will recover in a few days".

Tim felt a knot in her stomach. She knew what those words meant. She was fine now, so there was no reason for her to stay in the Watchtower's nursery, there was no reason for her to stay there. She was being thrown out, albeit with softer words.  

"Do you think I can stay here for a few days until I know what to do?"

"No," said Batman. "It is time for you to leave the Watchtower".

"But-"

"I want you to come live with me"

Tim smiles once more - one less burden to bear - before nodding. 

" I would like that."

***

Wayne Manor is a huge place, a building of French architecture that is like a flash of beauty shining like precious stones in contrast to the gloomy scenery of the buildings, too far and flat to be real, which is Gotham. The mansion is surrounded by an extensive garden decorated with multiple kinds of flowers, trees and shrubs pruned in different and striking ways. The place looks like an oasis in the middle of the desert. 

The trip from the Watchtower to Gotham is done by a Zeta-Tube -as Batman explains-. The Watchtower is directly connected to the Batcave, but Bruce thought it best to get to Gotham City and walk the streets before returning to the mansion, with the intention of awakening some of Tim's memories.

Unfortunately for her, although the streets are familiar, no memory came to her mind. She recognized the intersections, the names of the streets and avenues, the important buildings and popular places. But if she ever walked through those places she could not remember. But even so, she knew well that Gotham is her city. 

As the name implies, the Batcave is a cave with hundreds of bats hanging from the ceiling. Still, the place is ultramodern, almost at the same level as what she saw in the Watchtower. A huge computer seems to be the center of the site. She can see a training mat along with other machines, different stations to do experiments and what seems to be a medical bay. But that's only what she could see if she looked up a lot, trying not to be so obvious that she was stunned by the place. The cave must have been a much bigger place.

Near the computer, an older man with an elegant suit and regal bearing was waiting for them. Tim swallowed her spit when she saw him, because a severe headache was advancing from her temple to the back of her skull. She buried her nails in her hand to concentrate in that pain and ignore the other one. 

"Tim, this is Alfred" she struggled to bring the memories back, to even find out if the name was familiar or not. But her mind was focused on the suffocating pain that seemed to take her breath away and burn her brain. 

"Are you all right, Miss Tim?" She focused her eyes on Alfred's worried face, and on how Bruce's strong, warm hand was clinging to her shoulder to keep her stabilized and close to his body.  

"I'm fine, it's just my head." she responded with a small nod. "It's nice to meet you," she says, though deep down she knows she already knows him. 

"You should go to sleep, Tim," Bruce says. "It's late and you should rest".

Tim was in no condition to argue, so she nods again and lets Alfred lead her to one of the guest rooms. 

She is wearing borrowed clothes, a gray sweatpants that fit several sizes too big and a sweatshirt that saw better times. Bruce assured Tim before arrived to the mansion that her clothes would be taken care of the next day, so for now she should keep the clothes she was offered at the Watchtower, or she could ask Dick for some clothes.

The name made her heart race for a second. Tim felt a jumble of emotions swirling around in her stomach, and a tightness in her chest, as well as behind her eyes. If Bruce noticed her mood swings, he didn't mention it. And Tim was grateful for that. 

Alfred wished her good night and left her alone in the lonely room. The moonlight came directly through the large window and illuminated the room, especially the queen-sized bed. 

Tim took off her pants and was left alone in her underwear, cover by the large brown sweatshirt. She open the window - which served as a door to the balcony - wide and let the air from the forest surrounding the mansion flood the room.

Alfred Pennyworth, she thought, the Wayne butler... He used to bake me cookies.  

Despite days of doing nothing but sleep, as soon as her head touched the pillow she fell asleep peacefully, with a new memory in her head. 

***

The sun was hitting her directly in the face, she opened her eyes lazily and set out to start the day. 

Someone had come in and left a change of clothes at the end of the bed. Tim took a long shower in the private bathroom, wishing she had more time to take a bath with bubbles and mineral salts. But that would be another day. Bruce had not told her how long she could stay in her home, but he had promised to help her. And that was enough for her. 

She dressed in clean clothes. A new pair of sweatpants, this time a size smaller than hers, and a T-shirt with a soccer team print. In the Watchtower they gave her some ugly white crocs, which matched perfectly with her salvation army clothes. Tim knew that the clothes belonged to the other members of the Justice League, but she could still make fun of that.

Her feet moved automatically until she was carried down the corridor to a wooden door, exactly like those in the rest of the mansion. With a trembling hand she opened the door. The room was empty, clean, but you could tell no one had been there in a long time. 

Tim closed the door and once again let her feet carry her wherever it  wanted. She went under the imposing main staircase, and crossed a couple of corridors until she reached the entrance to the kitchen. Alfred was facing the oven, by the sweet smell in the air he must have been cooking pancakes. 

"Good morning Alfred"

"Good morning Miss Tim. I hope you had a good night"

"It was," Tim replied, "and Bruce?

"Master Bruce is taking care of some League business, he will be busy for the next few days" said Alfred, placing a plate with a small tower of pancakes in front of Tim. She took the honey and covered them with a small layer of it, and then added a few pieces of banana that Alfred had kindly cut for her.

Thank God they're not waffles, she thought.

Her body was grateful for something solid and not the protein shakes she was forced to eat during her stay at the Watchtower. Everyone had been kind to her after learning of her true condition (Amnesia could cause that in anyone). But still Tim was grateful - again - to be able to spend a few seconds in relative peace and not be watched every minute.

Alfred was a quiet presence, only generating company, but not pressuring her for conversation or information. She tried to remember something else about him, something that might come up along with the memories of the cookies. But for the moment everything else was still blocked.

Black Canary had warned her not to overexert herself, the two would work together step by step to try to recover as much of her memories as possible. Tim didn't want to risk any more headaches, but the curiosity about her life was too much. 

So, she finished eating and put her head on the kitchen island. She needed to think about what to do next. 

Thanks to Bruce, she had a place to stay, but that only took one problem off her list. The league was going to keep an eye on her for a while, even more so living under the same roof as Batman. Tim had accepted the regression therapies that Black Canary offered her, but as she had explained to her, these would take some time, and it wasn't even sure that they would help Tim with her amnesia. 

And Tim didn't have time.  This was not her universe, and she needed her memories if she was to return home. 

(If she had one)

Tim needs to know who she was. 

But that would have to wait a little longer. 

At that point Dick Grayson made his entrance into the kitchen. Bruce had told her a little bit about Dick as they drive around the city, and they had both come to the conclusion that, if Tim was right and she used to be Robin, maybe Dick had been her mentor. So in theory spending time with him could help her remember some things. 

But sometimes even Batman is wrong. 

Dick welcomed her and sat down next to her for breakfast. Alfred served him a plate with the same amount of pancakes and Dick covered them with even more honey. Tim watched everything in detail, hoping that some action would trigger a series of memories about the first Robin. 

But Dick finished his breakfast and nothing happens. 

The boy was funny, very enthusiastic and talked his ear off. But still Tim was disappointed. 

"Did it hurt when you fell out of the sky?

Tim blinked a couple of times. Was it her idea or was Dick flirting with her? "Excuse me?"

"When that portal opened and you fell, did it hurt? It was a very high fall, but you were almost unharmed". 

"How do you know I fell from a portal?" 

"I was there, along with the rest of my friends". Tim gave him a look, telling him to continue. She remembered seeing the other heroes, but she had ignored them to focus all her attention on Batman. No one had ever told her that there were so many heroes together. "We had just finished an unauthorized mission, and you fell from the sky just before the league finish scolding us."

"That explains why my whole body was hurting".

"At least you didn't break anything." 

Tim shrugged. "But the pain is still there."

They talked about the events of that night for a few more minutes. Robin had not been the only one involved, but other side-kick of some heroes had joined in trying to find out what was happening at Cadmus Labs. There they had discovered that the place was not what it appeared to be, and besides, they discover a clone of Superman created without his permission. They had helped each other out and by the end of the night they had come together to create a group of young superheroes, much to the horror of their mentors. 

Batman had asked Robin for a few days, to take care of Tim and solve the issue of the new team. So for the moment Dick was waiting for news. With nothing else to do, he suggested they go shopping. Tim needed new clothes, especially in her size. 

Dick ran to his room to change his clothes. Bruce Wayne's son could not be seen in his pants in the middle of the mall. Tim hid a small laugh as she watched him run up the stairs and almost stumble. 

And she couldn't be sure, but at that moment she had a feeling? 

"In what earth do you choose him instead of me?!"

Tim clenched her fists and shook her head. A few simple voices could not hurt her. 

***

Even with the company of Dick and Alfred, the days felt long and boring without news of Bruce. Since her arrival at the mansion Bruce had locked himself in the cave and refused to leave, only Alfred was allowed to come down to leave food. 

It wasn't until the third day that Bruce finally decided to leave the cave and abandon the bat suit for a few hours. His tired face and his three-day beard showed how little he had rested, but a glimpse of tranquility crossed his mind when he found her in one of the less formal rooms playing a board game with Dick. 

"Tomorrow" was all he said before leaving the room, probably for a shower and a well-deserved nap. 

Dick jumped up and left the game to follow Bruce around the mansion. Tim picked up the little pieces of the monopoly and put it in their box, before following Dick's footsteps and chasing Bruce for answers.

***

Tim didn't have a secret identity (if knowing her nickname could even be considered an identity), so when she appeared on Mount Justice, a robotic voice only said her name accompanied by a B07.

The day before, Batman had explained that the place used to be the old justice league headquarters built by Superman and Green Lantern. But after several attacks the league decided to leave the mountain and move to the already known Watchtower.  

Tim walked around the site for a few minutes before meeting up with Batman and the others. Next to him is a Black Canary and a red Robot with a blue cape, Red Tornado, if her memory isn't wrong. Besides them there are three other unknown boys, not counting Dick, who of course smiles at her as she arrives. They must have been the boys that Dick talked about. 

She gave them a quick look before taking her place a few steps behind Batman.  

"Red Tornado offered to live here and be your supervisor," she heard Bruce say. "Black canary will train you. And I will deploy the missions".

"Real missions?" Dick asks. 

The night before, Batman had taken the time to brief her on the whole issue with The Team before asking her if she wanted to be a part of it. Tim, of course, had agreed without hesitation. So Bruce had proceeded to show her blueprints of the building, introduce her to the tutors of each of the young heroes who would be part of it, and show her the training plan Black Canary had with them. But he had left Dick adrift, without a clue as to what was about to happen. 

Maybe that was his punishment for disobeying him.

"Yes, but undercover," Batman replied.    

"Cadmus proves that bad guys get smarter. Batman needs a team that can act undercover," said Aquaman. 

"You six will be that team".

"Six?" asks Dick. 

It's Tim's time to step up. The few who hadn't noticed her do so at that moment. She tried to follow Bruce's suggestion to dress as discreetly as possible, trying not to show her true identity. Tim had laughed at him at the time. She only had one name, she didn't even remember her hero's name (if she had one), so she had nothing to hide. But Bruce had insisted that maintaining anonymity was best. Maybe she only had one name at the moment, only three letters, but a name was important. It was something valuable. And Tim had to take care of it. 

Besides, Bruce wasn't going to let her go around the world with just a three-letter name, he'd give her an identity to look after, but for the moment she had to get used to being in the shadows and always maintaining her anonymity. 

"You met her a few days ago," said Batman. "She is Tim and will be an honorary member of the team. She will be training with you and spending time here, but she is not yet allowed to go on all missions. Only those with Black Canary and my express consent."

"Sleeping Beauty has awakened," says a redheaded boy. She remembers Dick talking about him. Wally Allen, Kid Flash, Flash's side-kick. 

A few seconds later the Zeta-Tube behind them shines before announcing the arrival of Martian Manhunter accompanied by someone else.The girl following him is as tall as Tim, maybe even a few inches taller.  Her skin is light green, her eyes are a mixture of red and orange, and her appearance is more humanoid than that of the hero that comes with her. 

" This is Martian Manhunter's niece, Miss Martian" the girl is introduced by Batman.

Batman reminds Superboy (the black-haired boy) that from that moment on he will live in the mountain with Red Tornado and with Miss Martian once she gets settled. Tim thinks how lonely that must feel, with the only company of an android and a talking alien. But then Miss Martian changes her white T-shirt for a black one that resembles Superboy's, Tim immediately detects the funny look that Dick gives them.

Batman doesn't give them time to say goodbye before heading to the Zeta-Tube to return to Gotham. Batman and Robin had to prepare for that night's patrol. Tim follows him in silence, taking one last look at Mount Justice.

She stops particularly in the presence of Superboy, with a strange name circling on the tip of her tongue. 

"Kon..." she whispers without knowing the meaning. 

Chapter Text

"Petit à petit, l’oiseau fait son nid"

Little by little, the bird builds their nest

-French proverb

Tim feels comfortable in the manor. Everyone is kind to her, and they let her wander around doing nothing, believing that somewhere will help her remember. 

So Tim spends the next few days wandering up and down the cave, touching familiar surfaces and observing the paraphernalia Batman has collected over the years. But spending so much time in the same place makes her shudder, for some reason her gaze always wanders in the same direction (a central point of the cave that was impossible to ignore or overlook when you walk in) and she always had the feeling that something was missing. 

After an ugly shiver ran down her spine, she decided her best option was to leave the cave and find something productive to do. Bruce was at the company, and would stay there late into the night, he had spent many days running away from his responsibility as Bruce Wayne, and now all the paperwork and meetings with the board had come together for him. 

Alfred had been very nice, but he didn't allow her to intrude on his territory or business, so as long as he was in the kitchen that was a no-go zone. Anyway, she wasn't hungry, and it wasn't many hours before dinner. 

She stoped in the library for nearly an hour, perusing the books on the nearest shelf. Switching chairs every few minutes, until she found one near to the window that seemed perfect. But almost immediately she realized it wasn't. She dragged the chair a few inches to the right and changed the angle so that the afternoon light hit it fully. 

She felt satisfied to see her finished work, and then realized that something still felt wrong. The stamping, she thought. That was the different thing, the wrong thing. 

She couldn't do anything about it, because she wasn't going to ask Bruce to reupholster all the furniture in the library just to remind her of the furniture in her world. Tim had to accept that this wasn't her world, and even if Bruce, Alfred and Dick treated her like a member of the family instead of a stranger, she was still just a visitor. She was nothing more than an unwelcome and uninvited guest, she was the one who had to adjust to the situation. 

Tim knew that if she stayed in that room for so long she would undoubtedly end up with a headache as she forced herself not to remember every little detail. So she left the book she intended to read (Pride and Prejudice) on a nearby table and went upstairs with the intention of spending the rest of the afternoon together with Dick.  

Dick's door was closed. Tim had only been at the mansion a few days, but since her arrival Dick had never had the door locked during the day. She knocked before entering, and when she got no answer she decided to open the door anyway. 

Dick was sitting on the floor, his laptop on his lap, and completely surrounded by crumpled papers and colorful notes. Seeing her come in, he slammed his computer shut.

"What are you doing?" asked Tim, "I'm bored"

"Bruce isn't here yet?"

"He'll be here before dinner"

"That doesn't give us much time" Dick thinks aloud. "Close the door"

Tim looks at him quizzically, but does as he was asked. Dick was a strange person, too giggly, trusting and friendly for the environment he lives in. And that's what she likes about him. 

"Star talk" she says sitting down next to him. Dick opens the computer again and Tim watches as the screen fills with codes and tabs with information, all directed to the Cadmus project. 

"You hacked into the batcomputer?" 

"Yeah...Bruce can never find out about this"

"It's Batman, he will sooner or later." Sooner rather than later, Tim thought. "Cadmus is the creator of Superboy right?"

"That's right, but someone has to be behind all this. And I want to find out-"

"Before the League does." Finished Tim for him. "What have you till now?"

Dick smiled when he managed to catch her interest.

"I'm going through the security cameras and shift logs from a few weeks before we found Superboy."

Tim thought about it for a few minutes before grabbing the computer from Dick's legs and resting it on her own. Her fingers moved expertly opening tabs and reading information at a surprising and difficult to follow speed. She compared the information gathered by Dick before discarding some notes and closing a few reports. The records would only help her to know the number of employees, not to know what the involvement and importance of each was, Cadmus was very clever at hiding that. 

But not as clever as Tim.

It took her almost an hour. But she had what they needed. Dick tried, but he didn't have the experience she did. Tim was surprised at how easy it was for her to find clues and figure out patterns.

"This is Selena Gonzales," Tim said showing a picture of a woman with black hair. "She's one of the people who has had dealings with Cadmus or had anything to do with them without being strictly tied to the lab. So far there have been four other cases of people who have had direct contact with Cadmus and died in accidents. The police have ruled it out as attempted murder, because at first glance anyone would think it was a coincidence or accident; a mugging gone wrong, some madman started shooting in the street and the only fatal wound fell on a certain person.  But you and I both know that coincidences don't exist."

"There are patterns"

"Exactly. Selena hasn't left her town or strayed far from home for days, I don't think she suspects what's going on"

Dick snatched the computer from her once again, to conduct his own search. The sun had almost completely hidden and the room was submerged in the gloom of the afternoon, the only thing that allowed them to see where they were was the light from the computer. Tim picked herself up off the floor and stretched before walking to the nearest switch and turning on the lights. Her back was killing her, as was her head. 

It was undoubtedly amazing how she could disconnect from everything around her, and herself, to investigate. 

"Selena has engagements in Central City tomorrow night," Dick said with a frown, no doubt crunching numbers and planning his next moves. "If I can contact the team maybe we can find out who's behind the murders."

"You think Cadmus did it?" Tim leaned against the wall, Alfred was going to come up for them any minute, and she had better be ready to block his view of the room.

"Could be, bot we don't have enough evidence yet. But I think I know who was hired for the murder of Selena Gonzales"

"Who?"

"The league of shadows."

Tim staggered as she heard the name. She felt the air being knocked from her chest and her lungs squeezed with bare hands. For a second she felt utter panic before grabbing the nearest paper trash and throwing up. 

"Are you okay!" Dick came to her side with a speed unenviable to Flash, the concern on his face was genuine, and for some reason that made her feel much better and calm. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and nodded. 

"It must have been something I ate."

"Let's get Alfred, he'll know what to do."

***

Dick returned the next day with a look filled with guilt and regret. Tim wouldn't and couldn't ask him anything about it, she wasn't ready to know the truth, but thanks the news from Central City about the explosion of a building and the subsequent escape of the suspects, she could imagine the outcome of the mission. 

Days later was the day that The Team would finally have they first mission, or so Dick is determined to make her believe. But Tim knows it won't be like that, Bruce would have informed them the night before, or at breakfast at the latest. 

Tim knows those are just the hopes of a kid who can't sit quiet, fueled by the expectations of the rest of his teammates. 

Still, she agrees to join him on his travel to Mount Justice. After all, she has nothing else to do.

***

Both arrived almost at the same time as Kid Flash, Tim couldn't think of him as Wally, even though Dick had told her about his best friend since the first day he meet her. Miss Martian, along with Superboy and Aqualad stood in front of the holographic screens, waiting for Red Tornado. 

Dick and Kid Flash were rushing towards them, excited at the prospect of their first mission. Tim wasn't sure if her place belonged there or not, she had seen her old costume on one of the tables in the Batcave before she left. Her fingers tingled from feeling the texture of the reinforced cloth again, but Bruce had been very clear that she would not wear the suit again until he finished the examination and ruled out any clues that might lead them to know more about her. Almost a week since then and that day seemed further and further away. 

She felt a little uncomfortable between them, knowing that if they got to accomplish their task and had a mission, she would have to stay and watch them over the security cameras and communicators while they went out and did their duty as heroes. Although at that point anything was better than staying another day cooped up in the mansion. Dick wouldn't let her days be so dull, Alfred seemed to know just when she was alone to appear out of nowhere and strike up a conversation with her, and Bruce...he did what he could to make her feel comfortable. Tim was grateful for that, but she still felt suffocated. 

The prospect of being able to spend a few days a week with kids her own age and guarding missions commanded by the justice league was what she needed.

Besides, once Black Canary agreed she could actively participate on the team, and not just as an almost ghostly presence. 

"Tim, come on!" Mis Martian ran past her, pulled her by the wrist and led her to the rest of the team.

Everyone seemed excited for Red Tornado's arrival, all except Superboy who had his usual stoic face. Tim couldn't help but stare at him in intrigue. Those blue eyes were so familiar to her, as if she had spent significant hours of her life watching them.

She shook her head as Red Tornado descended to meet them on the ground. For not having human emotions, the robot was extremely disconcerted by their presence there. 

"We were hoping you had a mission for us," Aqualad said.

"Mission assignments are Batman's responsibility" Red Tornado reminded them.

"But it's been over a week." Dick complained before being interrupted by the hero.

Tim hung back, she had repeated several times to Dick before coming that they should have asked Bruce something, called him on his cell phone or directly to the Watchtower, where he was at the time. He would give them an answer for sure and they wouldn't be on tenterhooks waiting for something to come up.

"Sorry" apologized the robot before sending them off to familiarize themselves with the base and their surroundings.

She sighed in resignation as she watched the other members of the team argue amongst themselves over the disappointment of having to spend another day doing nothing. Tim went ahead of them and entered the base, was time to do what she should have done in the first place: call Batman.

***

Tim had seen a computer on her way in, but that was too exposed area, and she didn't want to be overheard by the rest of the team, though she doubted such privacy would exist with a Superman clone hanging around the place. Would Batman have to worry about things like that on the Watchtower? 

It was her first time touring the base alone, or her first time away from the Zeta-Tube, but it wasn't at all difficult for her to find a room with a large mainframe. It would never look like the one in the Batcave, but it was something. In a few seconds she managed to make connection with the Watchtower, Black Canary's smiling face greeted her.

"Tim, it's good to see you."

"Black Canary" greeted Tim back "same here, are you on watch?" 

"Sort of" she shrugged with a grimace "We were just in a meeting; coffee break" 

"Uhm, do you have those anyway?"

"You haven't seen Flash hungry" 

Tim couldn't help but laugh "I wish" 

"He's like a little kid" Canary replied laughing as well. "Are you in the Mount?" 

"Yes. In fact, I need to talk to Batman."

Canary frowned "You know what we thought about going on missions, you're not ready yet. We haven't even had our first session yet"

"I know, that's not what this is about" I don't even think the team will have a real mission soon, she thought "But he must know I'm here, I came without telling him."

"I'm sure he already knows"

"I know, but I still want to tell him."

Canario nodded, they were going to have to talk about the new relationships she was creating. No doubt their sessions were going to be very interesting. 

They said their goodbyes, but not before Canary reminded her of their first therapy appointment, and a few minutes later her image was replaced by Batman.

"Agent T." Batman's voice was rough and low, amplified by the computer speakers. 

"Hello again B." Tim smiled at him "Agent T? Really?"

"Secret identity first and foremost"

"I know," she shrugged "but my identity isn't too secret to say the least"

"I'm taking care of that, what are you doing at the Mount?"

"Robin's idea" Tim replied with a snort "The team is impatient for a mission, you should take care of that"

"I'm working on it." Tim had eavesdropped on some of Batman's calls with league members, and so she knew he was being much more Bruce than Batman at that moment. 

"I'll stay here for a few hours, I promise not to leave the Mount," Tim said to get right to the point. From one of the corridors a smell of burning reached her, she grimaced with her nose. The smell of burnt food was one of the few things she couldn't stand. 

"Hm...be back before dinner."

"I know," Tim repeated before waving goodbye to Batman and cutting the call.

 
 
It was time to follow that smell. 

***

It didn't take long to find the source of the smell and get to the kitchen. The rest of the team was there, gathered around a tray of burnt cookies. 

"Tim!" Robin was the first to see her arrive. The others turned to see her, except Miss Martian, who eyed her cookies ruefully. "Where were you?" 

"I had to take care of some business with Batman."

"We were about to tour the base," Kid Flash informed her. 

Miss Martian sighed. 

"I was testing Granny Jones' recipe from episode 17...forget it."

"I bet it would have tasted great" encourages Robin "He doesn't seem to mind though" Robin points out amusedly watching Kid Flash devour the cookies. 

"I have a very fast metabolism" Kid Flash reminds them. Tim covers her mouth so they don't see her laugh.

Miss Martian hearing this gets excited and decides to make more, starting to pull out the ingredients thanks to her Martian telekinesis. 

"That was very sweet of you to bake it" Aqualad thanks her with a smile.  

Dick approaches her cautiously, letting the background conversation obscure his movements. But of course, Tim was trained to notice things like that, so she fixes her gaze on him before Dick can surprise her. 

"Everything okay?" she asks him. 

"Did you talk to B?" Tim nods, partly listening as Aqualad introduces himself as Kaldur. "What did he say?" 

"Worried he might bench you for coming to the base without asking?" Dick's silence is enough to make Tim smile in satisfaction. "He just wants us back before dinner"

"Since you are here he's been more permissive"

Tim shrugs. "Maybe because he doesn't have to worry about you making a mess anymore. I'm kind of like your babysitter, even if you think otherwise."

A throat clearing makes them end their conversation and turn to see the rest of the team.

Kaldur, Wally and Miss Martian look at them expectantly, and he can even catch how Superboy's disinterested pose reveals hidden interest. They were talking about names, so it's obvious they want to know theirs.

"I'm Tim," she introduces herself. "Although I think you've all heard that. You can call me Tim. And he's Robin, but you know that too."

"Batman is very protective about secret identities. I'm sorry" Robin apologizes with a slight blush of embarrassment. 

"It's no secret to anyone that mine is M'gann M'orzz, but you can call me Megan. It's an Earth name and I'm on Earth now. " Miss Martian introduces herself.

Tim catches out of the corner of her eye as Superboy, distant from the conversation of the others, tries to leave the kitchen. But suddenly he stops and shouts to everyone's surprise. 

"Get out of my head!"

"Are you okay?" Tim approaches him worriedly, but she can't take more than a step before a severe headache forces her to lean against one of the countertops to keep from falling to the floor. 

What's wrong? I don't understand. On Mars we all communicate telepathically. 

It's Megan's voice in her head, and it resembles the pain every time she's about to have a flashback, only a thousand times worse. 

"M'gann that's enough" Kaldur angrily demands "We're not on Mars, here your powers are an extreme invasion of privacy."

Wally tried to speak for her, but even that and apologies didn't stop Superboy from leaving the kitchen, angry. Tim could understand, she had read with much fascination the file Batman had provided about the clone. Having spent his entire life (even if it was only a few weeks) under genomorph mind control could give anyone a bad impression about telepathy. 

Tim shook her head a couple of times as the familiar pain of a migraine started to set in. 

"I think I need a nap," she said trying to sound calm. Megan had enough on her plate with Superboy's outburst without also feeling guilty about her headache.

Tim made a mental note to mention to Batman how different Miss Martian's power turned out to be compared to his uncle's, who the time he had gotten into her head had left nothing but a bad taste in her mouth and a bit of pain that went away after a couple of minutes. 

"Are you okay?" Aqualad seemed genuinely interested. Any other time Tim would have been touched. 

"Yeah, just a little tired. I didn't get much sleep last night."

The others seemed to understand that. They all had double lives and knew the pressure that came with it. While Tim didn't have any double life, she couldn't even claim that her life as the Tim who lived at the mansion and spent her time with Batman and Robin could be considered a life. She was just waiting for everything to work out so she could return home. She was nothing more than a traveler, a visitor in a universe that wasn't hers, with a family that wasn't hers either. 

There was a TV room near the kitchen, but not close enough to hear the rest of the group's conversation. It wasn't hard for her to find the lighting control and dim the lights to the minimum, but not enough to turn them off. She tossed the control onto a metal table and collapsed on the nearest couch. 

***

Tim had planned not to fall asleep, but somewhere between biting her lip until it bled to keep from sobbing from the pain, and counting the black dots in her vision, she succumbed to sleep. 

Maybe she did need the rest, because when she woke up the headache was gone. Unfortunately without leaving her any new memories. 

She calmly glanced at the time on her wristwatch, surprised to find that two hours had already passed. Dick wouldn't have gone back to the mansion without her, so the others must still be wandering around, perhaps still on their tour of the base. 

She closed her eyes again, a few more hours of sleep wouldn't hurt. The place was completely silent, so it wasn't hard for her to hear footsteps coming from one of the side corridors. 

Almost with a jump she straightened up on the couch, just in time to see approaching and turning on the lights a boy dressed in red with a black domino mask. 

"Who are you?" is the first thing out of the boy's mouth. Speedy, Tim thinks. Another one of the friends Dick told her about before she joined the team. Robin wasn't losing hope that all of his friends were together as a team, not just the heroes sidekicks. 

"I'm Tim" that was definitely becoming her signature phrase. 

Speedy frowned. 

"The girl from another universe?" 

Tim snorted. "I see news travels fast in the Superhero community. Who told you? Green Arrow?"

The boy's face crumpled into a grimace of restrained anger. 

"I don't work with him anymore."

"And not with the team either" she countered standing up to face the archer. Though that was next to impossible. 

Beyond his obscene height (almost two heads taller than her), the first thing Tim noticed were the freckles spread across part of his shoulders; they matched perfectly with his copper hair, which shone under the lights of the room like a lighthouse. Altogether, with his straight nose and fleshy mouth, he was unexpectedly handsome for a hero who took hits on a daily basis. 

She couldn't help but stare at him.

"What are you doing here?" she finally asked, after several moments of observation on both sides.

"Where's Robin?" 

"Maybe in the kitchen? I honestly don't know." 

"I checked the place, he's not here" Speedy folded his arms still with a grimace on his face. How could that boy be friends with Dick?

"Then he must have gone out with the rest of the team"

"And you're not going with them?"

Tim gave him a nasty look, because it was still a sore subject for her to be under constant surveillance by Batman and Black Canary.

"I was sleeping." That was partly true, Speedy didn't need to know the rest. It was already embarrassing that the team members were aware that she needed direct authorization from a hero in order to leave the Mount. "But that's not the point - what do you need Robin for?" 

"I need access to some encrypted files"

Tim looked the time her watch again. It was still early so she knew the rest would be out for a few hours if they were taking a walk. 

The place was completely silent, and she knew that even if she went looking for Red Tornado there wasn't a good chance of having an interesting chat with an android. She could also go back to the mansion and spend the afternoon trying to convince Alfred to let her help him. But Tim knew it would be easier to teach a penguin to fly than to accomplish that. 

She looked Speedy over with her eyes one more time. It didn't hurt to try. 

"You want help?" 

***

It took Tim a little over an hour to decrypt Speedy's hard drive. Her fingers moved expertly over the keyboard of one of the Mount's computers. She watched the sequences flash before her eyes at a speed that would have been difficult for anyone to read and understand, but her brain was used to that. She had perfected herself in the art of computer hacking and information theft. Tim thanked her former self for that and her brain for allowing her to retain the skill and not forget it like most everything else. 

And Tim would have taken less time with her work, but Speedy's steady gaze pierced her never making it impossible for her to move naturally.  She was not a shy person, on the contrary, the short time she remembered she had proven to be someone open to meeting new people. That explained how it had taken her so little time to become so close with Dick and how she had come to good terms with Alfred, who in spite of everything seemed not to trust her one hundred percent. Bruce was a different case, Tim still couldn't explain how she had gained his trust in just a few days. 

But Speedy, no matter how hard Tim tried to talk to him while she worked, he would only respond with monosyllabic sounds or grunts. He would stare at her over her shoulder, and as the minutes passed he had leaned back in her chair so he could watch the screen and what Tim was doing on the computer more closely. 

As if she could make a mistake.

Tim pursed her lips, but did her job despite the thick silence and the closeness that made her nervous.

"Ready," she said pushing back the chair so as to force him out of the way. "You have all the information on the disk. It had a somewhat complicated encryption, it must have been done by a professional, where did you find it?" 

"That's none of your business, but thank you," Speedy replied, a permanent grimace on his face. He turned, already knowing the way, to head for the Zeta-Tubes. 

Tim, more pissed off than cautious, followed him. 

"So... What's so special about this weapons transport that you need Robin's help?" 

"None of your business what I do" Speedy gave her a look over his shoulder that made her recoil. "Thanks for the help, but leave me alone." 

"I was just trying to be nice. You know, that thing you do for people who treat you right?" 

Speedy growled and turned to look at her. "How many times do I have to tell you thanks before you leave me alone?"

Tim shrugged. "I just wanted to know. Give me a hand here, I'm kind of bored"

"What about your super friends, shouldn't they be playing save the world? If you didn't want to be bored you shouldn't have fallen asleep"

"Even if I wanted to hang out with them I can't, I just hang out here so Batman doesn't have to worry about me" she finally confessed, biting her lip to avoid revealing more with some inappropriate expression. 

He relaxed his tense pose, even the grimace on his face seemed to disappear. If it weren't for the eye mask, Tim would have sworn Speedy looked somewhat embarrassed. 

"Look, I can't stay talking any longer. Now that I got what I was looking for I've got things to do, people to follow. But thanks, again." 

Tim smiled at him. "You're welcome. Anytime you want"

"Are you serious?" 

Tim thought about it briefly, was she really offering her help to someone she had just meet? 

The answer came quickly, leaving her somewhat surprised. 

"I don't have anything more interesting to do" 

"I'll call you" Speedy agreed, after considering it for a few minutes. 

"But you don't have my number"

I don't even have a cell phone. Tim thought. 

"You live with Robin, right?" Tim nodded "I'll call your house"

"Sure. Ask for Tim."

Speedy looked thoughtful.

"Tim... Like Timothea?" he asked.

Tim thought about it for almost a minute. The name sounded right in Speedy's mouth, proper and familiar. But so formal.

"Timothea, fix your dress."

"Timothea, you must smile more."

"Timothea, we won't be home for a while. I know you can take care of yourself."

"Miss Timothea, I'm so sorry." 

"You will always have a home here Timothea."

"Timothea, nice to meet you, I'm Dana."

"Timothea, that's kind of a long name don't you think?" 

Tim shook her head. She was going to need more sleep. 

"Yeah, but call me Tim"

***

After Speedy left, Tim went back to the computer to monitor the team's situation. 

They were taking a real beating. 

For a few minutes Tim debated with herself whether to go to their help and disobey Batman's orders, or to stay at the base and wait and see what might result in the death of her teammates. 

But the balance was tipped to a clear side. 

If she wanted to earn Batman's trust (Tim had learned that in some areas Bruce and Batman were two different people. Letting her go on a mission on her own was one of those areas), and thus be able to accompany the team on future missions, she had to stay there. Even if she had her soul on a string, she was to stay at the computer and wait for things to work out. 

Tim had faith in the team...well, not really. Tim knew them next to nothing, she didn't know their strengths or weaknesses, this was the first time she had seen them in a real battle. But she know Dick, Robin. If there was anyone Tim trusted with her life it had to be Robin. Even if her memories were fuzzy and strange, and often made no sense at all. 

Dick wouldn't be able to do to me what my mind wants me to believe, Tim thought, it must all be a product of the severe concussion I suffered.  

The minutes took forever, until finally one of the town's cameras showed her how The Team defeated their enemy. 

Tim let out the breath she had been holding without even realize, relieved that all the tension was over. If things continued like this she didn't think she could last long without helping them and intervening. 

***

Tim twisted the cloth of her pants in an attempt to calm her nerves. The day had arrived: her first therapy session with Black Canary (Dinah. Tim had to reminded herself).  

The door opened with a creak and she quickly turned her gaze to meet the newcomer. Her whole body relaxed as she saw the blonde woman enter into the room.

Black Canary had adapted one of the rooms in the mansion to serve as her consulting room. Of course, she already had her private office in her hometown, but Tim didn't feel comfortable traveling to a new place at the moment. Even that morning it had taken Alfred several minutes to force her to get up and face the day. 

When Batman had suggested therapy Tim had agreed without hesitation, but now that she was in front of it she felt imprisoned and out of breath. Uncomfortable at best, terrified at worst. 

Something told her there were things about herself that Tim didn't want to know, things that no one was supposed to know. 

Dinah settled on the couch across from her and invited Tim to do the same. Of course, Tim felt every muscle in her body tense. 

And to think that the day before she had shared a conversation with the woman like it was nothing. 

"I want you to tell me about yourself. Tell me everything you remember" Dinah requested once they had greeted each other. 

Tim pursed her lips in disgust. "You were there, repeating it has no point"

"Yes, I was there when you arrived. I heard you speak in front of the league and then I read the reports from Batman and the Martian Manhunter. But I want to hear you, one more time. Pretend I'm not here "

Tim took a breath before starting once more "My name is Timothea..."

Chapter Text

"Being a hero doesn't mean you are invincible. It simply means that you are brave enough to stand up and do whatever it takes"

- Rick Riordan, The Mark Of Athena

Tim heard footsteps in the hallway before her door opened. 

Dick was wearing the clothes he usually wore incognito, and the black sunglasses only confirmed that he was ready to head to Mount Justice. Tim set the book she'd been reading the last few days on her nightstand and straightened up. 

"I don't think you're coming for me for dinner," she says politely.

"Wally and Megan are going camping, she invited me." 

Tim raised an eyebrow with some interest. "You realize that's for sure something he planned?" 

"Yeah" Dick replied with a smirk. 

"So you know it's probably a date, just that Megan hasn't figured it out."

"Of course" Dick kept smiling as if it was Christmas morning and he had received all the presents he asked for. 

Tim sighed defeatedly, but she got up almost with a jump, grabbed a jacket she had on the bed and gave herself a look in the mirror to see if her appearance was acceptable after spending half the day helping Alfred in the garden and the rest of the afternoon lying around reading. Her hair was practically a mess, but nothing she couldn't fix. 

In a couple of minutes she had a bag with a change of clothes ready and her black sunglasses to match Dick's just in case. 

"Well, let's go ruin Wally's date." 

***

Tim couldn't lie to herself, she enjoyed watching Wally's illusions shatter as he saw the rest of the team ready to go camping, and Megan organizing everything. 

"I hope you don't mind that I invited others to enjoy a smore."

Of course, Wally had to accept the situation, although from the look on his face he was not at all happy about how things had turned out. Dick seemed almost vibrating to restrain himself from blurting out some comment mocking his friend, it was a fact that Dick would make fun of Wally, but it in private. 

With Superboy's super strength and Kid Flash's speed in a couple of minutes they had their stuff set up near the forest surrounding the mount. While they took care of the fire and preparing the marshmallows, Tim and Dick took care of setting up the camping tents. With the ease with which they both did it, anyone could bet that Batman had given them a crash course in tent pitching. Tim was sure that had been the case. 

"It was a great idea, don't you think so Wally? Outdoor camping" Dick had gone a long time without launching into one of his comments. Tim let him, only because Megan was away from the campfire and couldn't hear them. 

"I don't remember inviting you" Wally answered him with some irony, he had only ended up with two bags of marshmallows and a box of cookies. 

"Megan, thanks for inviting us" Tim said, plopping down on the log Superboy was sitting on. It was the only place available other than sitting on the ground, and everyone had seemed to be trying to avoid the boy due to his usual grumpiness. 

"You were invited, Tim. I'd go anywhere with you." Say Wally. Tim laughed at the obvious flirting. Dick, on the other hand, didn't think it was so funny, because he didn't hesitate to smack his friend on the leg. 

"Easy boy wonder, let the lady decide."

"So this is what you do when go camping" Superboy said after a few seconds in silence. 

"Yeah, pretty much like that" replied Wally ". If you feel like going home I can stay here alone with the girls."

Tim frowned. That was new, Wally seemed bolder than usual. Although, at the moment she had only heard him flirting with Miss Martian. 

Though, of course, the martian seemed completely oblivious to that. 

"Really? You're as touchy as a train wreck," Robin reproached him. 

Wally shrugged as he whipped up a fresh smore, all in less than a second. "You're not going to catch a fish unless you're going fishing." 

"We're not fish" Tim pointed at him with the rod she was using to roast a marshmallow.  "But I appreciated the interest." 

"See? Right into the net." 

Followed by that Dick suggested they tell horror stories, to make it a real camping night, but they were convinced by Megan to tell their stories of how they had ended up becoming heroes.

Aqualad was the first to tell his story, followed by the confusing story of Kid Flash. Tim sincerely appreciated remembering a few things about the secret identity of some heroes, among those Flash, because otherwise she might not have understood anything. 

"Can you tell us how you became Robin?"

"Are you kidding?" replied Wally for Dick. "Bats won't even let him say his name."

"And you Tim, have you remembered anything else?" 

Was it okay to tell them her real name is Timothea? It had only been a few days since the revelation, but Tim kept smiling every time she remembered it. It was the first thing that was truly hers since she had appeared in this universe, the first thing that wasn't smoke and mirrors. 

And that name was known to only two people besides her, she hadn't even dared to tell Bruce. 

For the moment she could keep it as her little secret. A little white lie that wouldn't hurt anyone. 

Because Tim was the familiar girl who was the traveler from another universe and was trying to remember and remake her life, while adapting to the family that had accepted her for the time being. 

But Timothea was a strange person. 

"Nothing very important," she finally said, "but I'm sure I'll remember something soon."

***

The hours before dinner were her favorite, as if she was looking forward to something and her body was letting her know it. If it were Wally, she would certainly be vibrating at that moment, but it was just Tim sunbathing by the pool. 

Dick has been saying for days how Tim's skin seems to be losing the kinda golden tone she had come in with, that coupled with his comments about how she shouldn't end up becoming a vampire like Bruce ("one in this family is enough").

Dick said the word family so naturally that Tim didn't have the heart to object anything. 

Of course Tim wanted to interrupt him, and even days later she was still searching for the right words to explain why they weren't family and that they had better not get attached to each other. Dick had already lost his parents once, it wasn't fair for him to lose yet another person. 

Tim spared him that pain, for that reason she had been running away from him every time they met in some hallway, or eating as fast as possible at breakfasts and dinners. 

But that afternoon the sky was clear and bright, the sunlight burning her eyes and exposed skin. And best of all, Dick was at the Mount and Bruce was working in his office. She had the afternoon all to herself and her tan, although she had to admit that spending so many hours in the sun was getting awfully boring. 

Maybe she could sneak into Dick's room and steal his computer for a couple of hours, hack into the batcomputer and go through the open cases Batman had in his sights....

"Miss Tim" Alfred called, snapping her out of her thoughts. 

"Hey Alfred, everything okay?"

"While it's good that someone in this house agrees that a few hours in the sun is beneficial to the health, I'm afraid Master Bruce wouldn't like to see you turned into a tomato."

"Uh" stammered Tim, almost jumping out of her chair to see her face in her reflection in one of the windows. Alfred was absolutely right, her skin was red, shiny and hot. Tim cursed herself for not noticing. Yes, she felt a little more than normal hot, but she didn't attribute it to the sun roasting her like a crackling.

"God, Wally is going to laugh so hard at me."  

"Indeed" replied Alfred. "Also, Miss Tim, you have a call waiting."

"Me? A call?"

"You're the only Tim in the mansion." 

Tim's face seemed to light up for a second before she rushed out and into the mansion through the kitchen door nearly obliterating everything in her path.

Thank God Bruce was absurdly rich and could pay for the glass and vase that were probably broken.

"Hello?" she answered the call with her breath slightly ragged from running. The time without training was taking a bit of a toll on her, she was going to have to talk to Bruce about it. 

"Are you free today?"

"Excuse me, who are you?" On the other end of the line the voice snorted. 

"Red Arrow, we spoke the other day." 

"Oh." Out of the corner of her eye Tim saw Alfred round the corner with the pieces of a broken vase. She would apologize for that "What do you need?"

"Let's meet at the Mount." 

"Now?" hesitated Tim. Dinner would be in a little while, and going to Mount Justice meant meeting her buddies (possibly Wally and putting up with his comments about the redness of her skin). 

"It's a big deal."

Tim sighed "I'll see you there in 15 minutes."

***

Was it okay for her to lie to Bruce to let her use the Zeta-Tubes? Of course not, but neither could she tell him that she was talking to one of Dick's old friends, who used to be Green Arrow's sidekick, and somehow knew Robin's secret identity. 

Bruce would surely frown and give her that disapproving look that hurt worse than a punch in the stomach.  

Honestly Tim wasn't ready for that look, not again. 

"I'll get Dick" Tim announced, five minutes after she left to change into something that would leave the least amount of skin exposed. Bruce was still the same as the last time she had seen him, which had been several hours ago to be honest, just after breakfast and before Dick disappeared. 

"He should be here soon," Bruce replied to her without looking up from his papers. 

"I want to take a walk around the bush, see how the others are doing."

Bruce gives her a quick glance, and that's all it takes for him to abandon his work. Tim makes a pretense of covering her cheeks, but it was too late. 

"Before you say anything" Tim interrupts with an inelegant squawk. "I may have been a few hours too long in the sun."

If Tim knew Bruce well enough (or remembered him) she might say he's trying his best not to laugh, but to her eyes the grimace on Bruce's lips is just that, just a grimace. 

"Don't be long." 

"I know" Tim replies before disappearing in front of the cave entrance. 

***

The Zeta-Tubes were surprisingly empty when she arrived. Of the times she had been at the Mount, there was always a laugh in the distance (Wally) or murmurs of conversation. 

It was strange, but the security system would have warned her if something bad had happened. So Tim relaxed her shoulders and took a step forward, almost without realizing that she had adopted a defensive pose.

Reacting that way was automatic for her. If anyone asked her she would tell them it was like exercising a muscle. When she used them daily, the movement patterns appeared quick, crisp, usually of their own volition. However, if she didn't use them, that automatic switch in her brain became increasingly slow and tedious to find and flip. She was going to need to work on that, but not with therapy as everything in her life had become. 

There were things that words and meditation could not calm, something inside and hidden within her that kept telling her over and over again that she was not safe there or anywhere. That she needed to be aware of everything, because at any moment someone was going to appear around the corner with a knife with her name on it. 

"You're late!"

Tim startled at the sound of Speedy's voice, but managed to hide it relatively well. 

"Sorry, I had to change." 

"Why you chan..." Despite the dominoes covering his eyes, Tim could see how Speedy narrowed his eyes" you look like a tomato."

"I know, thanks for the compliment" she replied sarcastically. "So, what do you want to talk about?" 

Speedy frowned. "Not here."

Following him out of the mount came naturally, not that Roy left her much choice either. They didn't go much farther than the night's camping, just far enough that they were separated by a concrete and metal wall, and several trees, from the rest of the team. 

Tim sensed the way Speedy's body seemed to tense, waiting for something to jump out from between the trees and catch them unawares. 

"Will the surveillance cameras see us from here?" 

"I don't think so. Its dark so none of the others should see us here, even if they are nearby. I think our secret is safe. Now will you tell me what you need?" asked Tim, tapping her foot on the ground.  "I need to be in Gotham before dinner."

"Or what? Batman will ground you?" he replied without seeing her.  

"Batman's not the one I'm worried about" Tim muttered with the image of Alfred fixed in her mind. 

Speedy cleared his throat before taking one last look around him then fixing on her. 
  

"You're good at computers, and you said you'd help me" Speedy said with his arms crossed. Tim raised one of her eyebrows. 

"Yeah, you need help?"

"I need Batman and his informants, but I can't have him. You're the closest thing." 

"So you want me to steal information from Batman." Tim frowned, weighing her options. She could just tell him no and get the hell out of there, go back to the mansion and wait for Batman to give her the green light to train alone or with the team and be able to go on one of the missions. Or she could help Speedy and risk being caught by Batman, and benched longer than she should. 

The option was clearly to say no, apologize and return to Gotham. 

But she had offered her help to Speedy, and he had accepted it without too much hesitation. 

Speedy needed her for this. And it felt so good to be needed. 

"What do you need?"

***

Speedy got straight to the point, didn't try to drag out the meeting and Tim was grateful for that. They returned to the mount and each took a different direction. Speedy towards the Zeta-Tubes and Tim in search of Dick. 

It didn't take her long to find him, not when Robin was trying to convince Superboy about watching one of the trending series that Tim was sure Dick wouldn't stop watching in his spare time. 

"Leave Superboy alone," Tim said approaching them. 

"Tim!" Robin vociferated as he saw her coming. "When did you get here?" 

"I came for you" Tim replied "We're running late for dinner." 

"Uh, time flies when you're having fun."

"If you say so" Superboy muttered in his now typical displeased voice. Tim pursed her lips to keep from laughing, but, even so, a little noise escaped her that anyone would perceive as a cough. Superboy's icy gaze focused on her, and he frowned almost instantly.   

"Why do you loo-"

"Like a tomato? Yes, I know. Please, just shup up."

Robin open and close his mouth like a fish out of water, now noticing the mortified look Tim was offering. 

"It was tanning, not giving Red Tornado competition" he said after a few seconds. 

"Thank you Robin, I appreciated your words."

"Anytime sis."

Tim just shook her head, amused by the direction of the conversation, but determined to ignore Dick's last words.

***

Tim knew she had to be quick.

Of course, she is. 

As soon as dinner was over Tim excused herself on the pretext of one of her daily headaches. Being that since her arrival at the mansion that had been an almost daily occurrence, Bruce dismisses her without much fanfare, just a reminder not to forget to ask Alfred for some pain pills and to let him know in case it got too bad. 

She just thanked him and wished him good luck on patrol before locking herself in her room to wait for the mansion to be quiet. 

Almost two hours later she knew Dick should already be in his Robin costume doing his Boy Wonder act. It wasn't hard for her sneak to Dick's room (for a Batman's ward Dick leave his room with no protection at all). 

The computer was abandoned in the corner of the bed, as if Dick had thrown it there before leaving for patrol. Tim takes a mental picture of exactly where she found it to return it once she's done. 

She went back to her room to perform her sick act, in case Alfred decided to stop by to check on her, and in the dark of night, as only a good bat would do, she slipped through the zero security of Dick's computer and through the thousands of layers of security that separated her from the central batcomputer server. 

If Batman discovered her, Tim could defend herself by saying she was just following Dick's example. 

She knew it had taken Dick time to break through Batman's security, but to her it was as easy as if it were a job she had done a thousand times before. Maybe she should tell Bruce to update his computer security...well, she would, but only when she was about to return to her own universe. 

All the information Batman was gathering never ceased to amaze her, but she would have another day to borrow Dick's computer and browse through the Batcomputer's files. 

If she wanted to report to Speedy that night, she had to hurry. 

And yes, Tim would finish her work in one night. That's how professional - and lacking in hobbies - she was.

About an hour later she had gathered enough to get an idea of the magnitude of the case Speedy was working on. The drug trade he was tracking was no longer exclusive to Star City, apparently it hadn't even started in that city. Batman had gathered information about the distribution of the same drug or some variant of it in several of the country's major cities, including Gotham.

She saved the necessary information on a flash drive (again, thank you Dick) and changed into something inconspicuous that would hide her face or any recognizable part of her. At the moment Tim didn't know to what extent Batman was watching the city, and something inside her told her that there were eyes everywhere. 

To her luck Alfred was nowhere in sight, so it wasn't hard for her to sneak to the phone on the 1st floor to which Speedy had called her. His number had been registered and saved on auto dial. 

"Who is this?" answered the voice on the other end of the phone. Tim could hear the sound of an action movie in the background, the loud gunshots of Hollywood movies were recognizable anywhere. 

"Hey Speedy, it's Tim. I got what you wanted" Tim heard the thump of something hitting the ground, seconds later the movie in the background was muted.

"You still there?" 

"...Yeah...just...wow. You're fast." 

"Can you come to Gotham?"

"Daddy Bat's not going to scold you?" 

"He's busy." 

"Okay. Where can I meet you?"

"There's a bar three blocks to the right off the alley where the Zeta-Tube is. Usually some cheap thugs hang out there, so don't wear anything flashy." 

"See you there in an hour Girl Wonder."

"Don't...!" 

The call cut out before she could say anything else. Tim put the phone back in its original position and sighed. 

Now she was going to have to get out of the mansion without anyone noticing. 

***

Honestly opening the window, checking for sensors or cameras watching her felt so wrong, like it betrayed Bruce's trust. But it was also so easy. 

This Bruce doesn't have cameras covering every angle of the mansion from the outside, this Bruce doesn't bother to set alarms in case someone opens one of the windows after a certain time, and most of all this Bruce doesn't have traps in the gardens or near the gates that go off if someone approaches while Batman is on patrol. 

This Bruce is careless, and that suits Tim just fine. 

Before escaping she takes it upon herself to return the computer to Dick's room and steal a couple of dollars for the bus. 

Half an hour later Tim is almost arriving at Gotham's downtown. The universe may be different, but the streets and bus routes are the same. 

Still, it's all so amazing. She had walked the streets in Batman's company the day she came to live in the mansion, but it wasn't the same to walk the streets accompanied and forcing herself to remember something, as it was to be able to walk alone and take her time looking at the smallest -and unimportant- details.

At that time of night many stores had lowered their curtains and now only the 24/7 restaurants were open, mostly fast food chains and stores that knew they got most of their clientele during the night, so they risked staying open, even if it meant being robbed.  

Tim shook her head after standing for 5 minutes staring at the neon sign of a tattoo store. The store didn't look familiar, but the bright green sign above the door caught her eye. That garish hue was familiar to her for some reason, but a haze of the same color hovered in her mind and kept her from thinking much about it. 

Of course she had looked at a map of the city before leaving, so she knew that turning right and going through a short alley would save her a 10-minute walk to the bar. But going through an alley in Gotham was the same as asking to get robbed. 

So she took her time, walking leisurely with her hands in her pockets trying to dodge people hurrying home before the real danger roamed the streets. Tim had checked the active case files and the scheduled patrol route, Batman and Robin would be several streets away - at the docks - watching the delivery of a shipment of amphetamines from Bludhaven, ready to disrupt it and confiscate the drugs at the most opportune moment.  

She arrived at the bar just an hour after finishing the call with Speedy. 

The bar was noisy, dirty and smelled strongly of cigarette smoke and spilled beer. She was not at all surprised to see other minors besides herself. And in one of the far corners a red hair was beckoning her to come closer. 

Tim removed the hat she was wearing to hide her identity from nearby cameras, she doubted the place had enough money for surveillance equipment. 

"You got here early," she said plopping down in the chair across from Speedy. 

Speedy smiled at her with a lopsided grin.

"I said I'd see you here in an hour, not that I'd be here in an hour."

"Heroes and their paranoia." Tim snorted, uncomfortable with the atmosphere of the place. People didn't seem to notice them, which was good, but still being surrounded by thugs made her hands shake. She couldn't be calm in a place like this. She couldn't just stand by and do nothing.  

At that moment Speedy called one of the waitresses passing by with drink orders (mostly beers) and a few minutes later they had their own order of beers and chicken wings that Tim was sure she wouldn't dare touch for all the gold in the world. 

"At least they're fast" muttered Tim watching as the foam on her beer began to subside. "I'm pretty sure I'm not old enough to drink." 

Speedy shrugged.

"Me neither" he said taking a long sip from his glass. 

Tim grimaced as he imagined the rancid taste of cheap beer, for that reason she preferred wine from some French vineyard. 

Wait a minute...

Do I like wine?

"If you're not going to drink at least pretend. It would be weird if we were the only ones not drinking or eating something."

"I'm sure you can drink for both of us."

Speedy pursed his lips. 

"What did you find out?"

"What you're looking for isn't something that's only traded in Star City, different variants of the same drug have been seen in several cities across the country, both east and west coast, it's even made its way to the slums of Metropolis."

"Places where Superman doesn't show up" Speedy interjected. 

"Exactly, we can assume the dealers know where to move. But there's something weird about all this, the chemical compositions aren't the same in all the drugs, there are variants that are circulating in major cities across the country" 

Speedy pursed his lips. 

"What are you getting at?"

"I think" said Tim giving a quick glance around "that they are using the consumers as guinea pigs"

"Who would do that?" said Speedy with a look of confusion on his face, the surprise only being hidden by the dark sunglasses covering his eyes. 

"That's the thing, I don't think it's just one person. I checked the formula of the variants B has analyzed, they all have one base in common: Venom."

"That's the drug that that roid-head Batman fights with uses?"

"Yes, but it doesn't end there. If it was a Bane thing, B would deal with him. But this left Gotham a long time ago, we don't even know if it started here."

"I found the shipment a few days ago in Star City, how long has it been circulating in Gotham?"

Tim pursed her lips.

"Long before I got here."

"Fuck..." said Speedy connecting the dots. "If they've been experimenting with variants for months it's very likely they have a definitive variant."

"Yeah, very likely" said Tim looking at her beer with renewed curiosity. Now that she had said everything she found out aloud the whole thing felt much heavier and more real than before. After hesitating for a couple of seconds she grabbed the glass and took a long drink before wiping the foam from her lips. The beer tasted like stagnant water that had been sitting in the hot sun for days. "This beat B long ago, when it crossed Gotham it became a league issue." 

"But the league is too public to investigate it" Speedy spat with obvious resentment in his voice. "If they investigate it it will become a public fact sooner or later."

"And the press will have a field day with them" said Tim. 

"Besides, whoever's behind this will be warned."

"That's the problem. The League can't stand by and do nothing, but they also can't do something without becoming a warning" 

"They're at a dead end."

"Not totally," Tim said, taking another sip of her beer. In the time they had been talking Speedy had finished his and was already on his second glass. "That's what the team exists for. B needed someone who could investigate without being league related."

Speedy let out a snort. 

"That means my involvement is over." 

"You can still join the team." 

His glass slammed against the table, drawing a few stares. Speedy waved to the waitress who brought him another glass of beer almost instantly. Tim looked at her nearly empty glass with a grimace, there was only one drink left, but that one was always the worst in beers. 

"I'm not a kid to let the league tell me what to do and whether or not I'm worth enough. If they're not going to take me seriously I'm not going to be part of their super friend squad."

"The best friends are B and the big blue, but I get your point. You don't want to be part of the team, you want to join the League." 

Speedy's hush was answer enough. The music was too loud and raucous, the beer tasted horrible and the cigarette smoke made her eyes water, but still Tim couldn't help but smile. 

But she wasn't happy, nor was she pleased or satisfied that she had gotten it right. Tim was anxious to see how things would unfold. Sticking by Speedy's side was the best course to follow if she wanted to get some fun out of it. 

"Prove them wrong about you. Prove to Green Arrow that he was wrong to let you off so easily. Maybe you can't intervene in the case anymore, but keep stopping the shipments from reaching your city. It will take time, but the league is going to look at you and say 'Wow'" Tim said and pushed her empty glass towards Speedy. At that moment the people watching on TV in one corner of the bar cheered as their team scored. Thanks to that she realized how much time had passed in the bar. There were still a couple of hours before Batman was due back from patrol (Tim had timed it), so she could stay for a few more minutes.

Speedy looked at her dumbfounded for a couple of seconds - unable to believe what universe a girl like that had come from - but finally ended up denying with an amused grimace and called back to the waitress. 

"My name is Red Arrow, not Speedy"

"Whatever you say Speedy."

***

Tim returned to the mansion almost two hours later. Her bedroom window was unlocked, so she climbed up there and gently closed it behind her. Her head was spinning a bit and cigarette smoke had clung to her clothes and hair. She was going to need to take a shower before bed and get rid of her clothes. 

The light came on at that instant. 

It was Alfred. 

"Shit" muttered Tim. 

"Miss Tim" said Alfred in a monotone voice. "I'd rather you let me know before your late night outings."  

Tim was speechless. Her mouth had gone dry, and not just from all the alcohol she had drunk. 

"Alfred...I..."

"You don't need to explain yourself to me Miss Tim. I understand that being cooped up in the mansion all day can be a bit overwhelming, and it's something you should talk to Master Bruce about. But I would ask that when you decide to leave you let me know in advance."

"I...I'm sorry Alfred," Tim said looking in another direction. Her face was redder than before and the embarrassment was too much to look him in the eye, she knew Alfred was going to look at her reproachfully, especially the way she looked. "I'm sorry I didn't say anything to you. It won't happen again." 

"Miss Tim, I'm not asking you not to go out again. A girl your age must find it exhausting to spend a lot of time in the same place. But for next time please let me know, so I don't have to go through the phone records."

"...Are there phone recordings?"

"Yes, but I've already erased today's. Master Bruce won't find out anything" Tim sighed in relief. "But have some more restraint for next time." 

"Uh...-yes Alfred, thank you. I...I don't know if there will be a next time, but I won't go out again without telling you." 

Alfred gave her a little smile that relieved all the tension in her body.

"Now, you should take a shower before you go to sleep."

"Consider it done."

"And leave your clothes in the laundry basket, we don't want any evidence, do we?"

Tim laughed.

"Of course not." 

Chapter Text

“I will not be like a bird bred in a cage," I thought, "too dull to fly even when the door stands open.”

- Madeline Miller, Circe

Tim was absolutely right about the drug. A few days after her encounter with Red Arrow, Batman called the team to give them a mission to go to Santa Prisca and find out what was going on, they were just to observe the situation on the island and then report back to the league. 

It was a simple mission that would only take a couple of hours. 

She was not yet ready to participate, but Bruce believed she would be soon. So it was time to begin training. 

At first, he was careful with her, assessing her physical condition in detail and making sure that none of his movements could harm her. Tim hadn't done any strenuous activity for weeks, everyone in the mansion had the feeling that she was made of glass and might break. Besides a couple of exercises she had practiced in her time with The Team, Tim had remained physically undisturbed. Bruce believed her stamina would be reduced and her muscles stiff.  

But Tim's body seemed to prove him wrong. 

After a couple of warm-up exercises, Tim was ready for action, and took full advantage of Bruce's reluctant state. She attacked him mercilessly, to prove that she didn't need so much consideration. She was ready to train, ready to get back in the game and stay on top. 

Bruce was not ready for it at all. He fought her in an attempt to keep her from hurting herself, but she far outmatched him. He tried to use his superior strength against her, to push her away, but she was more agile, and easily overpowered him, using her superior speed to put up a fight. And when Bruce managed to grab her wrist, and held her tight, they engaged in a battle of wits and strength.

He was desperately struggling to maintain control over her as the fight progressed. His hands kept slipping again and again, and he couldn't seem to find the right position for his grip and she kept slipping out of his grasp. Tim knew that little by little Bruce was taking the fight seriously, she was losing control and the upper hand, but she wasn't going to let him off that easy. 

Bruce wasn't going to let go until he knew what she was capable of, Tim wasn't going to stop until proved to him that she was ready. 

Tim's fighting style, while impressive and effective, was nothing like Bruce's fighting style. Bruce used brute strength, relying heavily on instinct and muscle memory. She relied more on her agility, which she had honed after years of running and hiding.

Tim realized something at that moment, she hadn't just been trained by Batman. She had been trained by the best, just like him. They both shared teachers, but their styles were completely different. Tim had the training, the skills, and even stronger and better conditioned reflexes.

But, still, she wasn't Batman. 

Bruce was the winner, but it didn't feel like a defeat. Tim had proved her point, and for the moment that was enough. 

"Good job," Bruce said as he finished his last punch, patting her on the back before releasing her.

"Thank you," she said.

"Your skills are greater than I expected."

"I wasn't kidding when I said I was Robin."

Bruce laughed and ruffled her hair. She let out a snort of indignation and slapped his hand.

"How did you get so good?" He asked, genuinely curious. 

"Experience? I don't know. Amnesia, remember?" she smiled.

Bruce sighed, rolling his eyes slightly. 

"You must have been an excellent Robin," he said, turning back to the batcomputer.

"I think so," she replied, watching as Bruce opened the file about her.

Tim had seen that file only a couple of times since her arrival, and had never read more than the beginning. 

The file was short, only a few paragraphs. It detailed her arrival in this universe, what little they had found out about her the time she was on the Watchtower, her subsequent weeks living at the mansion, and her work with the team until now. Bruce added a couple of notes at the end, focusing on her strength and specifying her physical condition. Peak Human Condition was to be a very nice compliment. 

After a few minutes Bruce closed the folder and looked up at Tim, who was looking at him expectantly.

"We need to talk." Bruce said simply.

"About what exactly?" asked Tim.

She knew he wasn't going to like whatever came next.

"I've been working together with some members of the league on a way to return you to your universe, and the prospects aren't the best," Bruce began.

Tim frowned, "What does that mean?" She asked.

Bruce took a deep breath and continued.

"This is where it gets tricky, Tim, because we're talking about not only sending you to another universe, but sending you back to a specific moment in time. We know your timeline is different than ours, finding the perfect moment in time that doesn't affect your dimension and ours is not an easy task." He explained.

"Are you saying you can't send me home?" asked Tim sharply.

"I'm saying I can't send you home yet. It will take longer than I first thought" Bruce corrected.

Tim's anger instantly deflated, replaced by fear.

Bruce reached over and put a comforting hand on her shoulder, giving it a little squeeze.

"It's okay, Tim" he whispered softly, "we'll figure it out. In the meantime, You to continue your sessions with Dinah. Anything you remember about how you got here is a clue. Can you do that for me?" he asked softly.

Tim nodded slowly, accepting her new duties.
Bruce opened his arms to offer her a hug, and Tim-without a second's hesitation-went over to them and wrapped her own arms around him.

"Thank you, Bruce," she whispered.

They broke apart quickly.

Bruce gave her a reassuring smile and turned back to the computer, opened a new tab and began typing, ignoring her presence.

Tim headed for the stairs, but stopped. She turned to look at Bruce and saw him look up from the screen and look at her. She offered him a small smile before heading up the stairs and leaving.

***

The training with Black Canary was about to begin, and yet everyone was gathered in front of the holographic air hockey table watching Kaldur and Wally play. Tim yawned for the third time in a row, although the game was interesting (watching Wally use his speed to win was always fun to watch) she had not slept well the night before, staying up until almost dawn practicing meditation exercises that Bruce had told her could help to delve into her mind and remember something. Maybe for the Tibetan monks who had taught him it was helpful, but for her it only brought a headache and dark circles under her eyes. 

She needed to remember something. Something important.

Only she didn't know what. It was so frustrating, she wasn't sure it was possible to overcome whatever it was that was blocking her memory. The more she tried to dig into her mind and bring back memories, the less clear they were, and even if there were some, she couldn't make it out. 

She wanted it, desperately.  She needed it. But she knew she would never be able to find what she needed until she could get deep enough to see the answers.

"Hey," Dick spoke next to her and Tim tore her gaze away from the game to look at him, "Are you okay? You've been distracted all morning."  His tone was concerned and Tim sighed.

"I'm fine. I'm just tired," she lied and Dick seemed to believe it and they fell silent again watching Wally score another goal in an impressive display. "Wally's pretty good, isn't he?".

Dick nodded and looked at the screen, "Yes, he is," he said.

Just then one of the zeta tubes announced the arrival of Superboy, who a few hours earlier had gone on business to Metropolis. Tim grimaced at the angry expression on his face. That could only mean one thing, he had met Superman and things had not gone well at all. 

Tim hoped Superman hadn't said anything stupid. 

A throat clearing caught their attention, it was Black Canary and Martian Manhunter. 

"'Ready for your training?" 

Megan went to greet her uncle, while Tim approached Black Canary. It would soon be their next session, and she wanted to make the best impression possible to get the go-ahead and finally be able to participate in a mission. 

"Tim, it's good to see you" Black Canary smiled warmly, "How are you feeling?".

Tim shrugged nonchalantly, she didn't like to talk about it, it made her feel vulnerable in front of the rest of the team.

"I guess I'm okay," she replied dryly.

Black Canary tilted her head slightly confused by her answer.

"What's wrong?" 

The concern in her voice made Tim shiver. But she kept her poker face,

"Nothing. Everything's fine," Tim replied easily, trying to sound casual, but she knew it wasn't really working considering the effort she was making to keep her composure and act unruffled.

However, if Tim was honest with herself, she knew something was wrong. Not physically, but mentally. A part of Tim wanted to tell Dinah. A small part, though, because that part of her knew that telling Dinah would do her no good. Telling Dinah meant throwing away all the progress Tim had made over the past few weeks. It meant starting from scratch and having to wait longer to get back into the field. It meant falling behind, and Tim wasn't going to accept that. 

"Well, all right then."  Black Canary replied with a nod, then turned her head in the direction of Superboy who was retreating. 

"Stay here, class has begun."

Superboy stayed, but reluctantly. 

"I consider it an honor to be your teacher, I will teach you everything I learned from my own mentors" she winced as she tried to remove her black leather jacket, "and from my own bruises."

"What happened?" asked Megan.

"The work," Dinah replied, taking off her jacket. "Now, combat is about conflict, about putting up a fight on your terms. You must always act, never react. I'll need someone to train." 

Both Tim and Wally raised their hands. 

"Tim, come here." 

Tim got up from where she had been sitting and approached Dinah.

Tim assessed her for a few seconds, thinking about some of the fights she'd had with Bruce and tried to think how to apply that with Black Canary. 

How she wished she had had a weapon to defend herself with. 

Dinah wanted them to be the first to attack, thus dictating the rules on the battlefield, but Tim had no chance at all to make the first move before she had to dodge a blow. 

Tim spun around to dodge Black Canary's next moves, but that was wrong, that was what Dinah was trying to stop them from doing. 

She saw an opening in her defense, right on her left side at the level of the sixth rib. One good blow and she could knock the breath out of Dinah long enough to destabilize her. 

But Tim hesitated, too scared to risk it. 

Then Dinah took advantage of her pause, hitting Tim in the back of her left knee and then a second blow to her back knocked her off her feet, sending Tim straight to the ground on her knees. 

Tim lay on the ground gasping, staring at the white tile to avoid looking at her mentor's face and accepting her defeat.

It was just another failure. Another thing she couldn't do well. 

"You did well Tim." Dinah said getting her attention. Tim looked up and met her mentor's outstretched hand, after a moment's hesitation she accepted it and stood up. "Can someone tell me where she went wrong?" 

"She hesitated," Robin replied. 

"Exactly, she hesitated before she reacted. I left an opening on purpose for Tim to take advantage of, but she hesitated to use it and that made me dictate the terms of-"

"Please" interrupted Superboy ". With my powers combat is always on my terms. I am a living weapon and this is a waste of time."

"Prove it" challenged Black Canary. 

Tim immediately moved out of the way, returning to her place at Robin's side. Her back ached from Dinah's blow, but she could feel the pain and swelling from the blow slowly subside. Then she focused on the fight to come, in just a moment Superboy ended up sprawled on the floor, Black Canary had beaten him in less than a minute.

 
"You're angry, that's good, but focus that anger-"Dinah was again interrupted by Superboy, who not happy with his defeat, charged at her again. And once again he was thrown to the ground. 

Robin at his side laughed helplessly, Tim tapped him on the shoulder to shut him up and gave a disapproving look. 

Superboy was about to retire from training, but just then Batman called for a mission. Tim grimaced when again she was not included in it. 

"You will stay to continue training" Black Canary informed her as the rest of the team walked away to get ready. 

Tim nodded with a frustrated sigh, watching the rest of her friends leave.  

"Wait a minute" she said watching as unlike the others, Superboy took a different direction. 

She doubted for a few seconds, but under Black Canary's strict gaze, Tim ran in Superboy's direction. She couldn't let him leave without talking to him first. 

"Hey, Superboy, wait up."

He turned around and waited for her as she caught up.

"What do you want?" he asked, his expression clearly annoyed at being interrupted.

With a clear and focused mind, Tim didn't flinch, she looked him in the eye and crossed her arms over her chest.

"You shouldn't treat Black Canary that way, she's our mentor and deserves respect."

There was a moment of silence before she continued.

"I know you think training isn't helpful in your case, because, does Superman even know how to fight? Does he know any fighting style other than striking head on knowing he'll be the stronger? Or are you really so arrogant as to believe that Superman doesn't need training to protect the earth? And even if Superman didn't train, you're not him." She saw Superboy look away from her and she continued, "Maybe you have his DNA, but you are completely different from him, you are your own person and as such you have to make your own decisions; it may be the same or different from his, but will be yours, and you have to make that decisions thinking about what is best for you and our team." 

Her breathing stopped as she realized she had yelled. Her cheeks reddened and she looked away.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell.... It's just...you're wrong Superboy" she paused for a second and sighed. "We need all the strength we can get."

With that said she turned and walked back to Black Canary, she still had a lot of training ahead if she wanted to be on top of her game. 

***

Tim trained for a couple more hours with Dinah before returning to the cave. By this time Batman had finished his work with the League and was reviewing some pending case files on the batcomputer. She just gave him a nod as she passed him, but she wasn't really in the mood for a chat or further training, her goal was to go as unnoticed as possible and get to her room, take a shower and sleep until dinner. 

But of course things lately weren't going just the way she wanted to. 

Bruce stopped her a few steps before reached the stairs. 

"Tim, can I have a moment?" 

She turned back towards him, giving an exhausted nod.

The last talk with Bruce had not gone well at all, it had only made Tim feel discouraged, her hope down for the last few days (which still persisted). Tim feared that Bruce would tell her there was nothing they could do to send her back to her own world. 

Tim liked it here. She liked her room in the mansion, the way the light came in every morning and woke her up by reflecting in the mirror near her bed. She liked her talks with Alfred and the food he prepared, the way he made her coffee, just the way Tim didn't know she loved. She loved watching TV with Dick and talking about meaningless things for hours, she loved how in such a short time they had both understood each other so well and with just a look he knew exactly what Tim was talking about. She loved the loving way Bruce watched her every day, she loved the comfortable silences they both shared when they were in the library or in one of the lounges in the house and just stood there in each other's company enjoying their closeness and the silence. She loved spending time with the team and training with them, even if Wally flirted with her the whole time he wasn't trying to get Megan attention. And she even liked the camaraderie she was developing with Red Arrow, even if it was only of mutual use at the moment. 

She remembered nothing of her old life, so so far her entire life was based on the few weeks she had appeared in this universe (though the correct word was fall, because she had fallen on her face in front of Batman).  

She wanted to know who she had been before, what had happened amidst all this chaos, why she had to live in this world she couldn't get out of, why someone like Batman needed her help, why she had to find him.

It was all so confusing and frustrating, and Tim firmly believed that the moment she could return everything would go back to normal and her memories would magically return.  

But deep down she knew that nothing would ever go back to the way it was, whether she got her memories back or not. 

"Bruce, please tell me there are no more problems with sending me back. I don't want any more bad news."

He took a breath before answering.

"There's no other problem with respect to your return."

"Thank goodness."

She exhaled in relief but quickly went back to worrying.

"If not that what's wrong, is Dick okay?"

"Dick's fine, everyone's fine."

Relieved again, but still worried.

"Oh, okay...so?"

Bruce cleared his throat at her before straightening up and giving her his full attention. 

"Before you came back I had a talk with Dinah, but before that I want you to know that you've really impressed me with your abilities, are much more than anyone expected."  Bruce paused for a second, searching for the right words to say. "Despite not having participated in missions with The Team, I can see how integrated you, plus Robin seems to respect you and look to you as a role model and support. Your hand-to-hand and unarmed combat skills are truly exceptional, while you seem to be able to handle yourself and fight with precision and skill."

She smiled gratefully at him, appreciating his sincerity and letting all the worry leave her body.

"I'm glad to know what you think I'm doing well," she said softly.

"What I mean, is that with Dinah we've decided that you're ready to join the team and accompany them on some missions.  Also, I want you to join me on patrol. If you're willing to accept."

Her eyes widened slightly at his announcement.

"Are... are you sure?"

He nodded before continuing.

"Dinah firmly believes that therapy will be much more effective once you officially join the team. Besides, you really surprised her in today's training, although you should be more decisive when it comes to attacking, still she has informed me that she wants to start teaching you self-defense, I know you already have basic combat experience and you have the training with The Team, but she wants to be your personal trainer. 

"I won't let you down!" Tim said vehemently. "I promise."

Bruce nodded in understanding.

"From now on, you are officially my partner, as well as part of our family. That means, if we need your help, you'll be there, and we'll need you."  Bruce spoke slowly and deliberately, making sure that everything he said was clear.

When he finished, Tim smiled and nodded.

"I'm honored to be part of your family, even if it will be for a short time. It feels good to finally belong somewhere." She said softly.

Bruce gave her a warm smile, before speaking again.

"Welcome home."

***

It took two days for Tim to get ready, and to get the go-ahead from Batman, before she went out on patrol for the first time. But the wait had been completely worth it. 

The polluted Gotham air hit her in the face as a welcome greeting. The sound of police sirens and passing cars were a familiar rhythm to her ears as she sped up a building. She felt alive and ready for whatever was to come tonight.

The night sky was clear and blue, with just enough pollution to keep the city lights on. She could see the bright stars through the clouds. She slowed down, enjoying the feel of the wind moving against her hair.

Her suit was still the same one she arrived in, after a thorough inspection by Batman Tim had been allowed to wear it once again. Only Tim didn't really feel comfortable in it. The black matched the colors of the city perfectly, it would be so easy for her to slip into the shadows and appear as a ghost in the gloom. But it still made her feel like it wasn't her. 

It would take a couple more days for her new costume to be ready, enough time for her to think of a code name. Dick had suggested a huge variety once he had learned of her addiction to patrol, but honestly each name was worse than the other. So for the time being she would just be called T, until someone came up with something better. 

And then there would be no doubt that everyone who knew her would know that she was Batman's sidekick alongside Robin. No matter what name she chose, people would know immediately. Even if she still wore all black, wore her hair long or added a skirt to her costume. Everyone would know who she was, the bat symbol on her chest assured that. 

Tim sighed in satisfaction, looking at the dark skyline of the godforsaken city. 

She shot her hook and flew through the night.

Chapter Text

"We all bear scars,... Mine just happen to be more visible than most.”

― Sarah J. Maas, Throne of Glass

When Alfred woke her up, Tim felt every muscle in her body ache. She could barely feel her arms from the strength it took to swing between the buildings in the city, she knew her jaw had a nasty bruise from being hit by a bank robber who was trying to escape, some of her hair was burned from helping to rescue people trapped in a fire in a building in the lower part of the city, her legs ached from all the hours she spent running between alleyways and building rooftops, and she's almost sure a bullet grazed her thigh before Batman called it a night and they returned to the cave.

But now, lying on her bed, that pain felt insignificant. Instead, she felt as if she could take on the world, no matter what world it was.

"Miss Tim?" asked Alfred softly.

She turned to him smiling.

"Good morning, Alfred."

Tim turned to the clock on her bedside table, it was 8 am, the day was a little cloudy, but warm enough that she knew that in a few hours she would need to stay as close to the air conditioning as possible. Dick was still supposed to be asleep, and Bruce must have gotten up an hour ago to be on time for a morning meeting at the company, Tim didn't envy him at all.

"Sorry to wake you so early after the night you had, but I'm afraid the phone hasn't stopped ringing," Alfred said with a sigh.

As if on cue, the phone in the hallway started ringing again.

"Who is it?" she asked getting up with a grimace, but for the possibility of waking Dick, Tim would have opted to leave the phone ringing long enough.

Alfred looked at her for a moment and then turned toward the door. Tim got out of bed and followed him into the hallway, for a second she caught a glimpse of the grimace of absolute disgust that Alfred was so good at hiding.

"It's about your mystery friend," he said with a dismissive tone. Tim felt her mouth go dry for a few moments. "He's kind of insistent that he should talk to you as soon as possible."

Tim nodded slowly, processing the situation.

If Alfred meant someone in that tone of voice it could only mean that, despite the fact that a few days ago he had given her his full support after she returned to the mansion late at night and with a few beers on her, he agreed that she needed more friends her age (although Speedy couldn't be considered a friend) and that she also needed to spend more time outside the mansion, but that didn't imply that Alfred accepted her camaraderie with Speedy.

"When your call is over, and you come down for breakfast, I'd love to hear how your friend got the mansion's number."

"You can completely blame Dick for that."

If Alfred hadn't been Alfred, she was sure he would have clicked his tongue. Instead, Alfred making use of the English manners he was so well known for, only stifled a grimace and disappeared down the hallway toward the stairs.

Tim grabbed the phone with a sigh, praying that Dick was still asleep and didn't turn out to be a gossip rat listening behind doors.

Of course he was.

"If you keep calling here you'll get me in trouble," she said with obvious irritation in her voice.

On the other end, the line remained silent for a few seconds.

"You said I call you if I need your help."

Tim snorted.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean you can wake everyone up with your calls. Some of us need sleep."

"I thought bats don't sleep?"

Tim closed her eyes. The last thing she wanted to do was argue. All she wanted was to go back to sleep and never leave her comfortable, quiet bed. Unfortunately, there were no guarantees in life.

"What do you want Speedy?"

"Can you stop calling me that? I'm telling you I'm..."

"Yeah, Red Arrow, same thing."

She rolled her eyes even if he wasn't able to see it. She had no problem with Red Arrow being his new name. In fact, she liked it, as much as she hated to admit it.  

"I feel like we've had this conversation a thousand times," Speedy said.

"Red, why don't you ask me what you really want or tell me what you need."

"You are truly grumpy in the mornings."

Tim chuckled a little. "Yeah... Well, I guess that comes from growing up with Batman."

"That it does."

The two fell silent once more and Tim sighed. She ran a hand through her sleep tousled locks of hair and looked down at the floor, thinking about something else instead of continuing their conversation.

"So...," Red finally spoke."I'm going to The Mount today."

There was another moment of silence as Tim waited for him to say something. But the longer it went on without him speaking, the more annoyed she became, and the longer she remained silent.

Still, after a while, she began to feel impatient, so she spoke.

"¿And?"

"And I'm going to need the team for something, are you cleared for missions?"

"Not officially," she said, trying to sound like she didn't care, but she really did. "I haven't gone on any missions yet, and B or Black Canary have to authorize me."

"And you think they'll give you green light?" he asked.

"Well, I'm of the think that they will. B says I'm ready for my first mission, but it all depends of the moment." 

After the nights Tim had been out on patrol with hardly any trouble it was almost impossible for Bruce to say no, but Speedy didn't need to know that.

"Well, I need backup."

"What do you need?"

"I need you, I hear you're good at what you do."

Tim smiled slightly to herself.

"I'm pretty awesome, I know."

Speedy chuckled. Tim could imagine his smile crooked right now.

"So will you do it then?"

"Sure. I've got something to show you anyway.... well, the team actually, but you too, so yeah," she spoke quickly, almost stumbling over her words.

"Ok, see you in a couple of hours," he said before hanging up.

Tim put the phone back where it belonged and made her way back to her room. With a groan, Tim fell back on her bed and looked up at the ceiling. She let out a soft chuckle.

"What?" said Dick suddenly appearing from behind her door. Tim was startled a little by the sudden sound of footsteps. She frowned, she knew he must be listening behind her door, and it made her clench her fists.

"Nothing," she replied quickly, with a feigned smile.

Dick walked over to the bed, and sat down, lying down beside her.

"Who were you talking to?" he asked curiously, and looking at her intently.

She frowned. Why did Dick always have to be so perceptive at such an early hour? Why couldn't he believe her when she told him that nothing was wrong? That everything was all right? Did everyone in the mansion always have to be so vigilant about her actions? Sometimes Tim thought they were watching her every moment, waiting for her to make a mistake to reproach her.

She shook her head. No, Dick wasn't like that. Bruce and Alfred weren't either.

No, Speedy was right, she was grumpy. Maybe it was because she hadn't slept very well, maybe it was because she was still tired from the night before and probably the night before that, or maybe, she didn't know. But whatever it was, she felt irritable and annoyed.

"No one."

Dick raised an eyebrow, clearly surprised by her response. He opened his mouth as if he was going to say something else, but seemed to change his mind and merely closed his mouth and moved closer to her to press her against his side.

"Sometimes when you look at me, your eyes sparkle, but especially when you're angry.  Like this," he said pointing to her face, which made her frown a little confused.

"Like what?" she asked.

He shrugged.

"The light coming out of your iris makes it shine brighter and the green color looks very pretty, it's almost like emeralds. It's rare." 

Tim blinked twice in confusion.

"I guess they must be very green then."

Dick hummed in agreement and leaned his head against her shoulder.

He stayed that way until Alfred went to get them for breakfast.

***

To be honest, Tim felt a little nervous.

That morning they had both received a call from Mount Justice, for a moment Tim thought Red had gone ahead and was requesting their presence, but it was Megan who was organizing a day at the beach.

Dick was excited, he would soon have to return to classes, and his summer vacation had been spent mostly training and his missions with the team, and of course those times when he could behave like a kid his age.

"I'll see you in a few hours," she said smiling at him.

"You're not coming, why?" said Dick trying to hide his disappointment.

Tim sighed and put her hand over his.

"I still have some preparations to finish with my new outfit, if I want to surprise everyone in the afternoon."

After a quick hug, he left her alone to get ready.

There were days when Tim was still surprised at how many hugs or touches Dick needed. It was like having a big golden retriever that needed attention at every moment. It wasn't that she was complaining, she liked this Dick, but she was still trying not to get so attached to him, and in due time avoiding becoming a figure he needed in his life. She didn't want to have to break the boy's heart once they found a way to send her home, though that will take longer than expected.

Except for the bats on the stone ceiling, the cave was nearly deserted when she got there, all the lights off except for the computer lights.

She turned on the light in the costume case, the Batman and Robin costumes greeting her like an old friend.

She gave them a quick glance, sensing that something there wasn't right, as if something was missing. But she couldn't focus on that, she had work to do before she met Red in The Mount.

Her new suit had been ready sooner than expected, the night before Bruce had given her the news, and Dick had tried to take a peek like the busybody he was. But for all the improvements her suit had, Tim still didn't feel comfortable in it. Still this was the one that had come the closest, and from what Dinah had told her in their last few sessions, comfort was sometimes not a luxury for a starting point. So Tim was willing to put her best effort and make this opportunity Bruce was giving her worthwhile.

Her suit was completely black - just like the original one she had appeared in - but the cape and part of her chest was a light gray color. Her shoulders, which were reinforced in case of gunfire but were still mobile, were just as dark as the rest of her suit, but stood out thanks to a small part of the material on her arms being a dark gray, though this didn't stand out too much due to the long black gauntlets that reached higher than her elbows. Her steel-toed boots blended seamlessly with the kevlar of the rest of her suit, ending in much darker knee pads. On the sides of her thighs she had two darker patches, which anyone would have thought were just decoration, but like all bat suits this one had a specific purpose, they served as small compartments for her gadgets. In itself her costume was perfect for blending in with the darkness of Gotham, but there was one centerpiece that set everything else apart. 

Dick had insisted for hours until Tim had agreed to her tool belt being gold like his, and once he had won that fight he had gone for the next one. Tim had spent arguing with a 13-year-old boy for what seemed like years, but in the end she had agreed that in the center of her tool belt was a buckle with Robin's R on it.  

Once you were Robin, Dick had said, it's only fair that you should have it. 

Tim hadn't understood why tears threatened to come to her eyes, and why those words seemed to be all a part of her needed to hear. 

With that memory in mind Tim saw to it that every compartment in her suit had the necessary tools. She found herself constantly checking to see if she had forgotten anything and making sure to carry some chocolate bars like the ones Batman carried with him, knowing that Dick might need it if he skipped any of his meals. 
 
Tim paused for a few seconds, was she being overprotective? Hell yes, but as long as she was on the team and living under Bruce's roof, it was her duty to make sure his son was safe and sound. So no amount of caution could be enough when it came to Dick.  
 
She didn't realize how quickly the time passed until Alfred came downstairs to drop off a sandwich for her, Tim thanked him and continued working, completely enraptured in her work. And again she didn't notice the passage of time until Bruce put a hand on her shoulder, making her jump.  

"How long has it been?" 

"Since I came home or since Alfred brought you lunch?" asked Bruce in reply. 

"Alfred." 

"Almost two hours," Bruce replied. "If you're almost done, I'm going to get ready. I have an announcement to make at The Mount, we must hurry." 

"You don't have to wait for me, I think I'll take a little more time." 

"Tim, the suit is perfect, I've been watching you go through the same behaviors over and over again for almost 20 minutes" 

"It's not perfect, I can change things, I know I can. I'm just trying to make it comfortable and functional," Tim said defensively, doing her best to not look Bruce in the eye.

"Tim," Bruce put his hands gently on her cheeks so that she looked up at him. "It doesn't matter if the suit isn't perfect for our job, it can be changed and redone as many times as you want. You're perfect for the job, and that's what matters." 

"I just... I don't want to screw up," Tim said quietly. "I want to do the best I can. The team has already had missions together, they know each other... I just want to impress them."

"Of course you will," Bruce assured as he gave her a hug, "of course you will."

***

Bruce had to make a call before going to The Mount, something to do with Green Arrow and the announcement they would be making. He gave her no further explanation, and Tim didn't ask for it, so with a nod she said goodbye and made her way to Mount Justice.

Her heart was beating faster than a thousand miles an hour, but she tried to stay calm. The Zeta Tube made her appear, and right in front of her were her teammates, accompanied by Red Tornado, waiting for Batman and Green Arrow for their big announcement. 

"Tim" the first to notice her - of course - was Dick. "You look amazing! I told you a little bit of color would suit you."

"Whatever you say Golden Boy" she replied rolling her eyes, of course, behind her mask no one would notice. She looked around, and the rest of the eyes were on her. With Dick by his side, Tim was good at dodging situations she didn't want to be in, and this was one of them. "Hey, did you guys have fun at the beach?"

Miss Martian snapped out of her stupefaction and flew over to her. 

"Tim!" she said. "Your new suit is great!"

"Thanks Megan," she replied, "if I want to participate in the missions I have to have a super suit."

Dick let out one of his high-pitched chuckles that Tim had grown used to. 

"With all the black you wear you're only missing the bat ears to become batgirl... That's a good name! I told you I can come up with good names!

Tim frowned at Dick's quips. Batgirl seemed to hit her chest harder than a direct hit. 

"Sorry, Drake. You're still part of the team... Maybe the Batgirl costume it's still available."

Megan smiled kindly at her and that made her put her thoughts aside for the moment, she would have time to evaluate the new memories and decide what to tell Dinah and what to keep to herself. 

"We're happy to have you join the missions, Tim." Kaldur said, in the calm, gentle voice that Tim found so soothing. "It will make the missions so much easier if we know you're there."

Tim nodded to each of them, even to Superboy, who had only moved closer, but stood arm-in-arm and stoic as always. 

She didn't know how to feel about that. Since the team had been formed Superboy had come a long way in the way he treated the others, he still retained his monosyllables and grumpy face, but now he was willing to spend real time with them. Still he felt so distant and cold. Something was wrong, everything about him felt wrong. And Tim didn't want to feel this way around him anymore. 

"Have you picked a name?" asked Megan softly, hovering around her. 

"I'm not sold on any yet" Tim replied "For the time being, during missions, just call me T."

"Mph" snorted Robin." I still think Black Robin or Black Bat are perfect names."

"For the last time, I won't call myself like that."

Just then the Zeta tube lit up, announcing the arrival of Batman, Green Arrow and an unknown guest.  

Tim didn't need to have powers to know that everyone was as surprised and confused as she was. She gave Robin a glance, to see if he knew anything about what was going on, but Dick was looking right back at her.  

"So their big announcement isn't a mission" Robin muttered. 

"I don't think so" Tim replied. 

"Who is she?" asked Aqualad.

"Artemis," the blonde said firmly, reaching out and giving Kaldur's hand a firm shake. "I'm Green Arrow's new protégé."

Tim frowned, her thoughts going at once to Red. 

"Well," the Atlantean began, pointing to each of them in turn. "I'm Aqualad, the team leader. This is Miss Martian, Superboy, Robin and T."

Before anyone could say anything else, the Zeta tube lit up again, announcing Wally's arrival. 

"The Wall-man," Wally began, dressed in full beachwear, plus a bunch of accessories. "Is here! Now, let's get this party star -" as he ran, Wally suddenly tripped over his umbrella, fell to the ground and lost his grip on his beach ball, which bounced right between Batman and Red Tornado.

Batman didn't even flinch.

"-ted?" the speedster finished sheepishly, and Artemis chuckled slyly.

"Wall-man, huh?" asked Artemis rhetorically. "I love the uniform - what exactly are your powers?"

"Uh, who is this?" Wally asked, walking forward and gesturing vaguely toward Artemis, who only cocked a hip.

"Artemis," she introduced herself. "Your new teammate."

"Kid Flash," Wally replied. "Never heard of you."

"She's my new protégé," Green Arrow said. 

"What happened to your old one?" asked Wally before the Zeta tube came back on. 

"Well, for starters," began Red Arrow walking out of the tubes as everyone looked at him in shock. "He doesn't go by Speedy anymore. Call me Red Arrow."

"Here we go again," muttered Tim, earning a quick glance from Robin. 

"Roy..." Green Arrow began. "You look..."

So Roy, Tim thought, feeling a little offended that the archer hadn't been able to tell her his name even though they'd been getting to know and interact with each other for a while. By god, they'd even been drinking together. If that wasn't enough to earn the right to know his name then Tim was going to be very offended. 

Tim looked around at the rest, and no one seemed surprised to hear his name, not even the new girl. Yes, Tim could be a little offended. 

"Replaceable," Red Arrow interrupted him. Tim folds her arms and tries to look calm. 

"It's not like that," Green Arrow stated, walking forward again. "You told me you were going solo..."

"So why waste time finding a sub?" said Red Arrow pointing his head at Artemis. "Can she even use that bow?"

"Yes," she replied, walking forward until she and Roy were almost nose to nose. "She can."

"Who are you?" asked Wally. 

Green Arrow and Artemis answered at the same time.

"I'm his niece."

"She's my niece."

Tim beneath her mask raised an eyebrow. She would have to read the information on the batcomputer about Green Arrow once she got back to the cave. Her memories of the archer were almost nil, but something inside her told her that was a complete lie. 

"She's not your replacement," Aqualad said, looking at Red Arrow "We've always wanted you on the Team," he continued, walking over to Roy again. "And we  have no quotas on archers" he added.

"Of course she can't be your replacement," Tim said, looking at Red Arrow. "You've never been part of the team." 

They all turned to look at her. 

"Tim..." heard Robin mutter. 

Red Arrow walked over and lowered his head to hers. Tim had seen this action hundreds of times in movies, when people got close to their opponents' faces. It meant danger and probably no good would come of it, but for some reason it gave her a tangle of mixed feelings.

"I was never part of the team because I chose something else," he whispered. 

"You're not part of the team because you don't trust us Roy, you don't trust Green Arrow and you don't trust the league. Do you even trust yourself?" replied Tim, the words spat from her lips like daggers. Tim could hear a voice in the back of her mind screaming at her to shut up.  

The question hung in the air between them as Red Arrow walked away, taking a step back towards the others. The grimace on his face became even deeper. 

Dick grabbed her arm and pulled her a few feet away from the rest. Tim knew she would have trouble with Batman when they were left alone. She shouldn't be looking for trouble with the others, even if that seemed like her mentor's favorite hobby. 

Why he could piss off the rest of the league members but Tim should be the perfect girl who avoided talking and should follow him like a dog to their master? She was free, she had every right to say and think what she wanted. Neither Batman nor Dick had the right to take that away from her. 

"What's wrong with you?" Dick demanded.

"Nothing," Tim said.

"That's bullshit," Dick said, shaking his head. "You've been acting weird all day. And Red Arrow, well, he hasn't stopped looking at you since he got here."

"No, he hasn't," Tim said, rolling her eyes under her mask. "He doesn't trust me. And that's it. Now stop messing with my life, you don't own me to watch every step I take. I know B told you to keep an eye on me, but try to be a little more discreet about it.  I'm not a child, Rob. I don't need you playing mother hen over me."

Her words hit Dick hard and Tim knew she had hurt him. 

"That's not-"

"Oh, please!" said Tim, cutting him off. "Stop pretending you give a damn! Stop pretending I'm worth anything! Just leave me alone!"

"I didn't mean that," Dick said quickly. He held up his hand, trying to appease her. "I do care about you, Timmy."

"Sure, you cared enough about me to give me some attention when you remember I exist, didn't you?" Tim challenged. "You'll just sit there and let me run around the world, and everything will be fine with you because you can go back to being happy and successful and having whatever you want and not worrying about anything and you won't even notice I'm gone."

Tim turned away from him. She couldn't bear to be in the same room with him right now. She could hear voices in her head, whispers and screams overlapping one over the other. 

One of the voices was her, the other sounded familiar but distorted. She knew that if she tried to clear the memory and bring it closer to the surface she could recover it completely, but the headache wasn't worth it at the moment. 

She needed to clear her mind and calm her unfounded anger. 

She returned with the rest of the team just in time to understand that a genius nano-robotics doctor had been kidnapped two weeks ago and Red Arrow had rescued her. 

"The Shadows had already coerced her into creating a weapon. Doc calls it The FOG, comprised of millions of microscopic robots. Nanotech infiltrators capable of disintegrating anything in their path. Concrete, steel, flesh, bone. But their real purpose is not mere destruction, it is theft. The infiltrators eat and store raw data from any computer system. And they deliver the stolen information to the Shadows... providing them access to weapons, strategic defense, cutting-edge science, and technology..."

"Perfect for extortion, manipulation, power broking," Artemis interrupted, looking at the holo-screens. "Yeah, sounds like the Shadows." 

"Do you know anything about the Shadows?" asked Tim. 

Artemis smiled at her.

"I'm sure I know and remember more than you do." 

"In my world they call The League of Assassins, created and led by Ra's Al Ghul." replied Tim back, arms crossed "The members of the league are devoted to him, their lives set aside for their master's orders. Some of the best assassins and fighters are members. They are one of the largest secret organizations in the world, and interfere in much of the important decisions in the world." The words were coming out of her mouth on their own, in truth Tim wasn't thinking much of what she was saying. She just wanted to shut Artemis mouth, and her brain seemed to be cooperating and letting her remember some bits of information.  

"You seem to know more than we think you do" Artemis smiled, looking at Tim.

 Tim returned her gaze.

"Yeah," she muttered, looking at Artemis for a few moments before returning her gaze to the screen.  "I guess I know a lot more than you think I do," she shrugged.

Red Arrow shifted his gaze from Artemis to her before continuing his explanation. Tim didn't even flinch. 

"Roquette's working on a virus to render FOG inert."

"But if the Shadows know she can do that-" Robin began, and Roy interrupted him.

"They'll target her," he continued, before opening another holo-screen. "Right now, she's off the grid. I stashed her at the high school computer's lab." 

"You left her alone?" Green Arrow burst out, but Roy was unfazed.

"She's safe enough for now," Red Arrow replied.

"Then you and I can keep her that way," Green Arrow continued.

"You and I?" Red Arrow repeated "Don't you want to take your new protégé?" Green Arrow seemed about to say something in response, but Batman stopped him by placing a hand on the blond's shoulder. After a moment, Green Arrow spoke again. 

"You brought this to the team," he began. "It's their mission. Which means it's hers now too."

"Pfft! Then my job's done," Roy replied, walking over to the Zeta tube again.

Tim didn't even wait a second before approaching Batman. 

"Can I go?" she asked.

Batman looked at her for a long moment, as if searching for her expression.

"Yes," he finally replied. "But when you get back you'll have an emergency session with Black Canary.  You will explain to her everything that happened today." 

Tim clenched her fists, but nodded and turned away, going to join The Team.

***

Tim sat next to Dr. Roquette, wanting to observe her work on the computer. Her hands moved quickly across the keyboard, making small adjustments. She looked back at Tim when she felt her presence next to her. Tim gave her a half smile before looking around. 

Robin and Kid Flash were standing together near the window, Aqualad was guarding the door and Artemis was leaning against one of the desks. 

"Everyone online?" M'gann's voice suddenly appeared in her head. Even though it wasn't the first time it had happened, it still gave her a headache. She closed her eyes tightly and counted to ten to calm her breathing and try to control the pain.  

In the back of her mind she could hear the conversation - fight - between Wally and Artemis, but at that moment their voices seemed to hit her mind with a hammer. It was as if an echo was bouncing around in her brain and trying to crush it. 

"Would you two shut up?!" she demanded through their telepathic link.

"She started it!" Wally gestured with his head toward Artemis, who only started walking toward the door.

"How about I just help Miss Martian and Superboy patrol the perimeter?"

" Good idea," Aqualad said coolly. As soon as Artemis left, Robin sighed before turning to look at Wally.

Tim decided it was best to ignore them and concentrate on the doctor, she had to be alert in case of an attack, and as long as the others kept quiet (or out of her mind) everything would be fine. 

But of course it wasn't. Robin and Kid Flash kept talking about Artemis when she left, until she shushed them and that seemed to stop them for a couple of minutes. Dr. Roquette at her side seemed exasperated by the group of teenagers who were looking out for her.    

Everything seemed quiet, so Tim closed her eyes and tried to conjure up memories of Artemis. If it worked with The League of Assassins then it could work with her. But even though Tim tried to dig into her mind (using some of the exercises Dinah had recommended) nothing came to light. She tried one more time, this time thinking of Kid Flash, and though she could only remember a red suit and a more adult face, that was a lot more than she got with Artemis.  

She was excited by the result, so she kept trying with different members of her team (Tim knew that if she told Dinah about it in her next session she would get nothing but a scolding). She thought of Megan and could remember her in a different place, one he didn't recognize as Mount. No matter how much she thought of Kaldur she could not get any image of him, but she could get a voice in her mind (a different one from those present) saying Aqualad, with pride in the voice. With Superboy she had the same result, but worse. For a few seconds Tim thought she was going to black out from the pain.   

Why thinking about the Superboy of her world hurt so much?

Maybe her mind had no memory of him at all (maybe he didn't exist) and trying to force something that wasn't there was only doing her more harm than good.  

But she wasn't going to stop there. 

She thought about Roy. She remembered something, but it was the bare minimum. Longer red hair, whispers of pity and harsh words. Thinking about the Roy of her world was heartbreaking. So she shook her head. 

Then she thought of Dick. 

At first she couldn't remember anything, it was like floating on a pool of tar. Everything was black and sticky, she couldn't move even if she wanted to. It took some time, but gradually the memories began to come. Her heart skipped several beats as she remembered a loving voice praising her for a good move, gentle hands correcting her posture, the wind in her face and a thunderous laugh. The images were unclear, she couldn't see the face in front of her, but deep down she knew it was Dick.  

And then pain, so much pain. A grief so deep that it took her breath away and she knew that if she hadn't been in a room with four other people (and telepathically connected to three more) she would have ended up crying on the floor. 

But the grief and pain went away, leaving only anger behind. An anger that burned bright green at the edges of her gaze. 

She wanted to hit something with all her might. She wanted blood and tears, she wanted screams of pity and she wanted to laugh at them. She wanted to enjoy them and taste them, she wanted to feel it deep in her bones. 

She wanted so much. She wanted it all. 

But before she could think any further about it and how to get it, Kaldur's voice filtered through the mind-link.

"The virus won't be of much use if we can't find the weapon, can you track it?" 

"My FOG is not a weapon. It's science, brilliant science . Of course, I can track it. But, I'm going to have to go online. I might as well rent a billboard with this address on it and 'MURDER ME' in neon." 

Kaldur tried to calm the doctor down, promising protection and that seemed to appease her enough for her to agree to track the virus. 

Artemis' thoughts of Superboy made her shudder, as well as the rest of the team. 

"He can hear you!" M'gann shouted, sounding almost possessive. 

"We all can," Tim said. "Focus on the mission."

"Like you're doing it" Robin muttered, just for them. Aqualad, Kid Flash and even Dr. Roquette raised their heads and gave him a questioning look, Robin just folded his arms and kept looking out the window. 

Tim wanted to say something, because she knew her outburst on The Mount had been misplaced, her anger misdirected at Dick. 

Why did things have to be so complicated with the boy? 

When FOG was located Aqualad decided to split up the team. Robin and Superboy went in the Bioship to pursue it, while the rest stayed behind to take care of Dr. Roquette.  

***

The mission had not gone so badly at all. They had managed to destroy FOG, but not before it destroyed one of the Star Labs in Philadelphia and part of one of the Wayne Tech buildings. Bruce was going to be so angry when they got home. 

But everything else had gone well, no one had been hurt and they had captured two of the assassins sent to kill the doctor. But one of them had escaped, Artemis had let her go. 

"Did you see...?" growled Kaldur as he removed the darts the assassin had shot at him.  "Her face?" 

"It was dark."

"It is fine. Robin and Superboy neutralized the FOG, and doctor Roquette is safe...thanks in no small part to you." continued Kaldur. 

Miss Martian joined in the congratulations, accepting her into the group with no problem. Wally still seemed to have a problem with her, a growing feud, but Megan forced him to welcome her.

Tim backed up to the wall and camouflaged herself with the darkness of the night, hoping she wouldn't be noticed and that the Bioship would come back for them. 

She couldn't remember anything about Artemis, just as with Superboy, but perhaps in her world they had never created a Superman clone. The explanation was feasible. 

But Artemis? Who was she? 

***

They returned to The Mount soon after. Kaldur would take care of the mission briefing, while the others decided to go get some snacks from the kitchen before resting, even Superboy joined in. 

All except Tim. The mission itself hadn't tired her out, but she was still completely exhausted. With nothing to concentrate on, her head was killing her, the pressure behind her eyes was unbearable and her mouth felt dry. She was going to have to ask Alfred for something for her headache as soon as she got to the cave. 

She said goodbye to the others - Robin gave her a questioning look - and headed for the Zeta Tubes. 

But on the way she was intercepted by Red Arrow. 

Tim frowned. 

"I thought you had more important things to do than spend your time here," she commented coldly.

"There is something I want to discuss with you," Red Arrow replied calmly, ignoring her tone.

Tim rolled her eyes. 

This man was infuriating.

“I think we have nothing to talk about,” Tim responded shortly.

“We have,” he says. “This is important” 

“...Talk.” 

“Is Artemis, I don’t trust her, you shouldn't either.”

“I don't need you to tell me what to do.” Tim snapped.

“I know that,” Red Arrow retorted quickly. “But trust me. Just... listen, okay? I have reason to believe that she's hiding something from us. Green Arrow lied to us, she is not his niece."

"Why should I trust you? You don't trust me"

Red Arrow sighed deeply and ran his hand through his hair.

"Look... I trust you, alright?"

"Sure,” she answered, rolling her eyes "But, I don't trust her either," admitted Tim. "I tried to remember something about her, but I couldn't. I could remember something about almost everyone in the team, but nothing about her, it's as if she didn't exist."

"I didn't know you were remembering."

"I'm not. Black Canary says I should take it easy, I shouldn't strain my mind. But I needed to know more about her. Now my head hurts and I need to go home."

"I'm coming with you, I have business in Gotham." 

"I'm going to the cave"

"You can take the long way, see the city," insisted Red Arrow.

"No, I need to be alone right now."

Red Arrow hesitated, as if trying to figure out how to convince her.

"...Okay," he finally replied. "But before you go, I have something for you."

He reached inside his jacket pocket and pulled out a small flip phone.  

Tim looked at it confused and raised an eyebrow, not knowing what the cell was supposed to be. 

"Has my number, so I can contact you without calling your home. In case of emergency" explained Red Arrow.

"Thanks," Tim muttered, still a little unsure of what to make of the situation. 

She took the phone and placed it in her pocket.

"See ya later"

Red Arrow nodded,  as Tim walked past him towards the Zeta Tube.

Chapter Text

“We should always make time for the things we like. If we don't, we might forget how to be happy.”

― T.J. Klune, The House in the Cerulean Sea

Her emergency session with Dinah had taken place the next day...and Tim could tell it was interesting. 

Tim had told Dinah how she had been feeling lately, why she seemed to lash out at Dick for no apparent reason. Of course, Tim kept to herself the strange visions of her past that were slowly coming back. 

Dinah was almost convinced that Tim was suffering from something called Intermittent Explosive Disorder. Tim believed she was just angry. 

More sessions would be needed to corroborate the facts, plus Dinah would need to talk to Bruce and Dick to see if they had noticed any patterns in her behavior, since they were the two who spent the most time with her. 

If Dinah turned out to be right then Tim would have to go to additional sessions for anger therapy. As if she didn't have enough to do already, she didn't have time for that. 

Tim said goodbye to Dinah and left the exclusive therapy room they had opened at the Mount, she was currently the only patient, but Dinah hoped that in the future the rest of the team members would join her for sessions after each mission. 

She was about to arrive at the Zeta Tubes when she came upon Superboy wandering alone around. 

"Hey Supes," she greeted him, stopping in front of him.

"Hi Tim," he replied stiffly, not making eye contact with her.  

Tim frowned. "Are you okay?" she asked gently. "You seem upset."

"Yeah..." He replied quietly, lowering his gaze. "I'm fine. You can go home now." He added, trying to walk away, but she put a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

"What's wrong Supes, can I help?" She asked, genuinely worried about him.

"It's nothing really." He assured her. "Don't worry about me. Just...go home."

That sounded like an excuse to her. But she decided not to push him. It wouldn't accomplish anything if she tried to force him to talk.

"Okay." She nodded, still clinging to his shoulder as if it would disappear if she let go. "Are you alone, where's Megan?"

Superboy shrugged.

"Not here." He said briefly.

In that second, Tim had an idea.

Maybe it would work. Maybe... maybe it wasn't such a bad idea after all.

"So... do you want to go out?" She offered.

This took Superboy by surprise.

"Really?"

She nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, come on! Let's go watch movies or something." She suggested.

She didn't give Superboy much of a chance to refuse, pulling him along as she hurried to the entrance of the Mount. He allowed to be dragged along, but as soon as they reached the entrance, he broke free of her grip.

"No, thank you." He said simply, starting to walk away.

"Wait!" exclaimed Tim. "Just a movie first!"

Superboy stopped moving, turning to her. "Fine." He agreed.

"Great! Let's go!"

Tim led Superboy out of the mount, straight to the Happy Harbor movie theater.

It wasn't until they sat down together that Tim realized how quiet he was. He looked down at his hands, fidgeting nervously as she ate popcorn.

After a few seconds of silence, she realized she couldn't stand Superboy's silence any longer, so she forced herself to look up.

"Has anyone ever told you it looks like your name is Conner?" she whispered looking directly at the screen.

"What are you talking about?"

"I look at you and all I can think is 'this guy's got to be named Conner'."

"Why Conner?"

Tim shrugged. 

"I don't know, but it fits you. When you decide on a name, keep that in mind," she paused, looking at the screen. "And I think this is a good one, it makes me feel comfortable."

"Why would I need a name?" he asked.

The girl smiled, "Because you are a living being. You can repeat to yourself that you're a clone all you want. But you are a person. You breathe, you dream, you feel. And every person needs a name."

Conner was silent for a long time. "Okay." Finally he answered.

***

Ever since Red had given her the cell phone -an overly old model- they used to text each other during the night, before either of them went out on patrol. Their conversations didn't go beyond talking about what had happened during the last night patrol, or in Tim's case, talking about what happened with the team. Red wanted to stay informed about Artemis, and since Tim didn't trust her either, she preferred to keep Red in the loop in case she needed help with the archer.  

That's how she ended up spending the afternoon -Star City time- at Roy's place, taking care of updating his security and leaving him with a database that Green Arrow might envy. 

She shut down the computer and stretched out on the chair. Her wrists ached after hours of non-stop programming, luckily it was her night off so she was going to take advantage of it. Maybe she would read a case or two, but she would stay away from the keyboard for the rest of the night. 

"All set Red" she said getting up, already scanning the room to remember where she had left her jacket so she could leave. 

"You know my name, you can call me Roy" was what he replied, his voice coming from the couch in the small living room. 

"I remember you were very insistent that I stop calling you Speedy and star calling you Red Arrow, and now you want me to call you Roy?" she replied, putting her hands on her hips.

Roy laughed and rolled his eyes and she smiled because, damn, this guy was cute.

"I'm serious, call me Roy. Speedy or Red was before-"

"Before you acted like an asshole?" she interrupted and he sighed.

"Before I trusted you" he finished saying.

"And now do you?" Tim asked curiously. This wasn't their usual banter. It was something deeper and less verbal than what she usually did with Roy.

The last time they had met Roy had said he trusted her, Tim hadn't believed him. But now the atmosphere was different. 

"Now I do," he said simply, sitting up straighter on the couch. 

They looked at each other and something clicked inside Tim. This was familiar, but it didn't feel right, because it wasn't Roy she was supposed to have that kind of connection with. 

She shook herself out of her thoughts, trying to ignore the feelings swirling in her chest as she headed for the door, grabbing her jacket and keys. She stopped just as she was about to leave the apartment, realizing she should probably say goodbye first.

"Bye Roy."

"Wait" he said "It's early, we could do something." He sounded hopeful, and it made her heart clench.

"Well, maybe" she finally agreed. He got up and grabbed his coat too "Why not?" she asked with a shrug. "Do you have any idea where we should go?"

"How about we grab a bite to eat first? We can talk there." He suggested and Tim nodded.

Although it had only been a few days since Tim had gone to the movies with Conner, still Roy and she ended up in the last seats in the theater watching an animated movie. Earlier they had gone to get some burgers, and that's when Roy mentioned that there was a movie he wanted to see, but was too embarrassed to go see it alone.

It was How to Train Your Dragon, and although it was a children's animated film Tim found herself enjoying it. Only halfway through the movie did she realize that she had already seen it, in her universe, and that the ending was completely different. 

She thought about keeping quiet, but as they were leaving the theater she couldn't help but comment on the happy ending. 

Roy was a little surprised at her response, but seemed to get excited all the same.

"What do you mean Hiccup dies?" he asked, looking confused and slightly worried.

"It was a big fall, Toothless didn't manage to save him." she replied.

Tim tried her best to explain the ending after Hiccup's death, how the village grew from it and tried to honor the boy's sacrifice. 

Roy was not happy. Tim enjoyed this side of Roy, not the grumpy, demanding or sarcastic one she knew so far. He seemed more relaxed, less tense than he usually was when they met at the Mount or with one of his old friends. 

With that pout on his face Roy could even pass for a normal teenager. 

"Your universe is cruel... we'll have to see if there are any more bad endings." he decided.

Tim laughed helplessly, the heat caressing her chest like tongues of flame. 

"You're going to have to ask nicely, I don't have all the time in the world" she joked and Roy laughed.

And somehow he ended up dragging her back to his place.

***

Tim was in serious trouble, very serious trouble.

Batman and Robin were doing their dynamic duo thing that night, for that reason she was free. But it's one thing to have nothing to do and another to arrive after her curfew, especially when she had lied.  

She told Bruce she was going up to the Mount to spend the day with Megan, and since Dick was ignoring her after their fight on the Mount she wasn't going to have to talk him into not coming with her.

Actually she did go all the way to the mount, but from there she went to Star City and spent the rest of the day at Roy's place, late into the night. She knew Batman and Robin weren't going to be back yet, but Alfred was going to be around. 

She carefully closed the huge door to the mansion, wishing Alfred was in the cave taking over communications. 

Of course Tim wasn't so lucky.

As soon as she turned around Alfred was there, waiting for her. 

"Miss Tim, what's your excuse this time?" Alfred sighed.

"Uh... well... you see..." Tim stammered trying to think of a good excuse.

"I suppose," Alfred began, "you've been in the company of this secret friend of yours."

"I guess you could say that..." Tim admitted.

Alfred eyed her suspiciously for a moment.

 
"So he's taken you home?" he asked.

Tim felt her cheeks flush.

"No," she squealed, "we watched movies all day, and the hour flew by. It was really nice, I promise."

Deep down, Tim knew that at some point she had to tell them the truth about her encounters with Roy, the real reason they had known each other and spent time together lately. But she feared Bruce would force her to stop seeing him.  

And she didn't know if she was ready to face him, again.

(When had she ever stood up to Batman?)

"Bruce and Dick aren't back?" she said to change the subject.

"I'm afraid Master Bruce and Master Dick have had an unfortunate meeting with Miss Talia Al Ghul."

At the sound of her name, Tim's world seemed to tremble. 

She wasn't sure why or how, but suddenly there was no more air to breathe. Her legs went numb. 

Everything began to spin and suddenly she felt that everything was moving too fast. She saw her reflection in the mirror hanging on the wall and her vision blurred as she stared at her own open eyes. She felt her stomach turn and barely had time to convince her body to cooperate and run to the nearest bathroom to throw up the dinner she had shared with Roy. 

When she came out of the bathroom and saw Alfred standing in front of her, she immediately felt guilty.

"Are you okay, Miss Tim?" he asked and reached out for her hand, but she pushed it away. 

"Yes, I'm fine, it's just an upset tummy."

She knew that wasn't true, it had happened to her before, several times, but Alfred didn't need to know that.

"In that case you'd better go get some rest, Miss Tim. I'll scort you to your room, you're very pale, I don't want you to faint."

With that, he put a hand on Tim lower back and guided her down the halls and stairs to her door. When they reached it he stopped, and once again she pushed his hand away from her arm.

"Thank you for coming with me, I'll be fine," she insisted.

"Of course, Miss Tim," he replied, and before she knew it she was being pushed towards her bed.

When Alfred left and the door closed behind him, she buried her head in her pillow and let out a deep sigh.

What was wrong with me?

***

Morning came earlier than expected. 

Tim shuffled out of bed and down the hall to the kitchen for breakfast. Alfred was on his back cooking and Bruce was drinking his every morning cup of coffee, there was no sign of Dick, and Tim was grateful for that, she didn't know if she could stand the boy's energy in the mornings at that time. Tim head was killing and her mouth felt sour even though she had brushed her teeth when she woke up. 

She took a seat across from Bruce, hoping he would ignore her until the caffeine turned him into a functioning human being. 

Bruce put the newspaper down and leaned his elbows on the table, crossing his fingers and staring at her. 

"Alfred told me about your arrival time last night, and since it's not the first time it's happened." 

Tim cursed inwardly, she knew she couldn't trust Alfred completely, his loyalty would always be with Bruce. 

"Bruce, I know that-"

"Tim," he called after her, "I'm not mad that you skipped your curfew or ran away from the mansion, that's a subject we'll touch on later and that will still have its punishment. But I want to know if there is anything I should be aware of."

She frowned. Bruce knew about her business with Roy?

"I don't know what you're talking about" she replied clenching her fists.

"Tim" Bruce said once again, "I know you have a friend you're secretly meeting with."

"We don't do anything wrong" Tim defended herself. 

Bruce looked uncomfortable, even Alfred had stopped cooking. 

"Tim" Bruce said again, in a way she didn't like at all. "I know you're young, I was your age myself, and I'm afraid you might have made some mistake."

"Excuse me?" asked Tim incredulously.

Bruce looked even more uncomfortable now, and Tim felt sorry for him.

"Listen, I know you can't understand how much we care about you, and we love you very much.... And that's why we're worried about you. You may feel disoriented and alone now, but I want you to understand that you have our full support, whatever decision you make." He paused, taking a sip of his coffee

"Do you understand me Tim?"

"Yes sir" Tim whispered, a knot in her stomach at his words. What was that feeling swirling in her chest. "But I still don't understand what this is all about."

"Well...you've been feeling a little sick lately...you've been having bad dizziness and vomiting" Bruce began, and it all hit Tim as hard as a bullet.

Lately she had been having more headaches than usual, and that had made her horribly nauseous, even worse if any of her memories came back. The night before just by hearing Al Ghul's name she ended up throwing up in the toilet, and at that anyone could be suspicious. 

That along with her constantly tired face, her usual morning sickness with smells (all due to her strong migraine) and the time that had passed since the first time she had escaped with Roy. 

There was only one possible answer to Bruce and Alfred's suspicions. 

"I'm not pregnant, Bruce. I don't know what kind of relationship you think I have with Roy, but it's not at all what you think."

A small silence filled the room.

Bruce let out the breath he had been holding, even his face seemed to return to his natural color. Alfred continued his work at the stove as if nothing had happened, as if he hadn't been waiting for the answer as much as Bruce had been. 

The whole situation seemed unreal.

But she knew she had to come clean, so she decided to talk about it with both of them at the same time.

"Look, this is all a bit of my private life, but Roy and I are just partners. I like spending time with him, but you guys don't have to worry about anything. I appreciate the support," she assured them.

It was then that she noticed the look of relief and joy that appeared on Bruce's face. 

"Oh," was all he said.

Alfred finally stopped what he was doing and turned to look at them.

"Now, Miss Tim," he said setting the plate of food in front of her. "Eat something before your stomach starts growling."

Tim nodded, picked up one of the eggs and bit into it. It tasted heavenly, she was starving and finished eating almost instantly.

"Thank you Alfred."

"My pleasure, Miss Tim," the older man smiled warmly.

***

Of course, Bruce punished her for arriving after her curfew. Tim would be off patrol for a week, but that didn't exempt her from participating in any missions with The Team. Also, Bruce now knew about the cell phone Roy had given her, and he and Alfred were keeping a hawk's eye on it.  

Tim was going to go a long time without any real privacy, but the good thing was that Bruce had not forbidden her to spend time with Roy. Tim was happy to still be able to help him with his cases. As much as she enjoyed the missions with the team, it wasn't the same having total independence from the League.

For a few days Tim had pondered what she would talk to Dinah about next when they met for her next session. And while she knew they had a lot more to talk about, like that urge to disappear that came over her from time to time, or her anger problem directed at Dick, or the times she cried herself to sleep without knowing why (maybe she was being a little dramatic with the last one, she didn't cry herself to sleep, but that's how it felt). They had something more important to talk about. Something that had her sleepless for days. 

It was time to talk about Ra's Al Ghul and the League of Shadows. 

Chapter Text

“You can talk with someone for years, everyday, and still, it won't mean as much as what you can have when you sit in front of someone, not saying a word, yet you feel that person with your heart, you feel like you have known the person for forever.... connections are made with the heart, not the tongue.”

― C. JoyBell C.

Her skin felt dry and lifeless, but most of all hot, it felt very hot. 

Tim's eyes snapped open. 

The sun was hitting directly in her face, almost preventing Tim from opening her eyes. But Tim had been in worse situations before, that was nothing to her. She covered her eyes with her hand, after all her mask didn't help at all against the inclement weather, Tim was going to have to make a modification to it when she had time. If she ever had time, she had been very busy lately. 

Ha!

As if busy was the word to describe her life. Busy would be a break for her. 

She looked around and there was only sand, nothing but sand. She was back in the desert. Well, it's not like she hadn't been before, but the facilities at the Cradle protected her from that. 

She didn't have to put two and two together to realize what was going on. 

Ra's -son of a bitch- Al Ghul couldn't find anything better than to send her back in one of his hostile environment survival training. As if Tim hadn't survived the last one. 

Tim stood up and wiped the sand off her suit....

Her suit wasn't the same. 

Her red and black Red Robin suit had been replaced by a suit in blacks and grays, with a much shorter cape, no hood and no bandoliers on her chest. It had multiple compartments for her gadgets, but the most important was a gold belt with a red R in its center. It resembled one of Batman's early tool belts. Except the R was like Robin's emblem. 

It was as if Ra's wanted to play with her mind. 

Very well, so be it. 

She started walking. She couldn't waste her time completing one of Ra's stupid tests, she had to occupy her time getting Bruce back, that was her priority. 

She clenched her fists cursing Ra's on the inside. The only thing she wished was that he hadn't been the one to change her suit. 

A shudder ran down her spine. 

Stupid Ra's. 

***

Tim wasn't sure how long she walked in the hot desert sun. She needed water badly, but none of her compartments had any emergency supply. Hadn't she learned from her last desert adventure to be prepared? The blood of Z and Owens was still fresh on her hands. Tim could have prevented those deaths, if only she had done more, if only she had moved sooner. If only she hadn't been so distracted. 

She closed her eyes and shook her head. She couldn't keep walking in that condition anymore, she needed to rest and calm down before she could no longer control the green behind her eyes. Tim had learned the hard way that when her body was most exhausted and out of control was when the pit took advantage to do its thing and control her.

She stopped in the shadow of a huge rock formation. There were still several hours of sunshine left, but it was preferable that she continue on her way into the night and be guided by the stars.  

She took a deep breath and tried to calm herself, but the air was suffocating, each breath was like burning her lungs. Was this what smoking would feel like?

She closed her eyes and leaned against the rocks, she couldn't fall asleep because of the dangers of the desert, but she could rest her eyes for a few minutes. 

That's okay, she wasn't going to sleep anyway, even if she managed to pass out now, she would wake up instantly. This was her job, after all. She had to survive, go back and rub it in Ra's face that she was better than any of his tests. That was why he kept her around. Because Tim was good at what she did.  And as much as she hated to admit it, Ra's was the only person who believed she was worth it. 

Footsteps brought her out of her thoughts. 

Tim hid behind a rock and watched as two teenagers appeared out of nowhere in front of her. A boy and a girl, the boy wore a black suit that reminded her of Flash, and the girl a green suit with a quiver on her back and a bow in her hand. 

"Sorry. Running on empty," said the boy. "Don't think I've eaten in a while. Been here over 24 hours, or my cupboards wouldn't have been bare."

Tim frowned. 24 hours? 

She hadn't been wandering that long, but something inside her told her she'd been in the desert for the same amount of time. She tried to remember the last thing she had done, but she could only visualize her and Pru talking about something in one of the training rooms. Tim was holding her Bo staff and drinking from a water bottle, Pru's raspy voice made her laugh and kept her from paying attention to their conversation. She didn't remember going back to her room, didn't remember leaving that room. 

Would the water have something in it? would Pru be able to betray her like that? They had been through a lot together, Tim could even consider Pru a friend, but she had to remember that the loyalty of League members always went to Ra's Al Ghul.

She shook her head and prepared to fight. During her hours wandering in the desert she had realized, after a quick check, that she didn't have any weapons other than some batarangs. Ra's had replaced her shurikens with her old weapons, but had not allowed her to keep the weapon she was most comfortable with. 

Tim still wasn't sure what kind of game Ra's was playing, but she was going to find out. 

She prepared to attack in case she was noticed, but just then a boy fell from the sky. The impact sent rocks flying in all directions, Tim could barely get out of cover without something hitting her. 

Now she was in the presence of the other boys, but none of them were looking at her because they all had their attention on the sky boy who was attacking them. . 

Really, things couldn't get any worse? 

Tim paused for a few seconds to plan what to do, what moves to make. On a normal occasion she would have drawn her weapon and attacked, but now she only had her batarangs, and besides, the boy seemed to be too strong, and even invulnerable. Getting a good look at his face, Tim could tell that he had a certain air of Clark about him, only much younger and angrier. Had something attacked the League in their time away and they had all ended up as a teenage version of themselves? 

The sky-guy threw the boy dressed as Flash away, he hit a rock wall and fell toppled to the ground, immediately the sky-guy went after the archer girl, he tried to hit her, but she dodged him and shot some of her arrows at him. Suddenly two tanks appeared and attacked them. 

Things definitely couldn't get any worse. 

Tim reached into her belt for the lead-lined compartment, hoping Ra's hadn't taken that from her as well. She smiled to herself as the green stone appeared in her hand. She may have gotten away from Gotham and the bats, but she had been trained by Batman to always carry a piece of Kryptonite with her, no matter what. You never knew when a Super could go crazy, like now. 

It was going to be annoying if Clark recognized her and took the news to Dick, but Tim could hide before he came looking for her. Even if a part of her doubted that Dick was looking for her, after all he had a new partner to worry about, a new sibling. Tim was no longer her responsibility. Dick had made that very clear. 

She shook her head. Again she was getting distracted, she had to take care of Clark. 

Clark was taking care of one of the tanks. Tim couldn't get near it without getting hurt. She knew with her new stamina she could last a little longer in a fight, but she wasn't going to test the effects of the pit on her body, she didn't want to get out of control. 

She turned to see what the boy copy of Flash was doing (Maybe it was him in a teenage version? It was all very complicated), but he and the girl were getting ready to leave. Without their help Tim doubted she could handle the tanks and Superman alone. 

"Hey" she said getting in their way. "I need your help." 

"Where did you come from?" the girl asked. 

"I was here, but that doesn't matter. We have to stop Superman, something weird is going on with him." 

"No, no, no, no. I don't know who you are" said the boy. "But if you say he's Superman then I think he can take care of himself. We have to go, are you coming or not?" 

Tim couldn't think what to do, and she didn't need to. The men started shooting in their direction and that was the motivation needed. Tim climbed onto the boy's back and he took the blonde girl in his arms bridal style. 

Not only did the boy have Flash's outfit, but he also ran like him. The scenery around them became a blur as they passed between the mounds of sand and rocks.

The journey continued for several minutes, but as time passed the speed slowed down, until the boy tripped over a stone and the three of them fell rolling in the sand. 

They didn't even have time to compose themselves before a pair of planes flew overhead and fired at them. 

"Get down!" the boy shouted, and following his orders all three ducked. 

The planes turned around to attack them again, and the blonde girl took the opportunity to pull out one of her arrows and aim at it.

"Don't worry, I'm almost there." said a voice in her head.

"Tell me I'm not the only one who heard that" Tim demanded. The blonde girl looked at her in alarm, implying that she hadn't been the only one. 

"You heard a girl in your head too?" Tim nodded.

"Girls are always on my mind. But they're not usually talking."

Suddenly the planes that were firing at them crashed into each other and exploded. The three watched in amazement as a green girl flew toward them.

"Well, J'onn, the costume looks familiar..." said the boy as soon as the green girl landed. And indeed her costume looked familiar, it was the copy of the Martian Manhunter costume, only in a female version. "but I'm not sure the new bod screams Manhunter."

"You know my uncle J'onn? Hello Megan, of course, you do. You're Kid Flash, Wally."

"Stop there" interrupted Tim, confused. "He's not Kid Flash, I know Kid Flash, and I'm sure it's not him." 

"Yes it is him" nodded the girl, Megan. "And you're T, Tim. And you're Artemis." 

Tim got into a ready stance, pulled out one of her batarangs and prepared to throw it at the girl. If she was Manhunter's niece, then the batarang would just go right through her, but that was the best she had without firebombs. 

"How do you know my name?" Tim asked. 

"Don't freak out," Megan say "It's okay. we're teammates, friends. I made you cookies."

"My teammates are dead," said Tim. "And my only team is not you, she's not here."

"Uh, okay, that's sad," said Wally. "But I have to agree with her. I've never seen you in my life. At least not that I..."

Megan sighed.

"Ugh. You lost your memories too."

At that moment they all looked toward the horizon. A huge cloud of black smoke was catching their attention. 

"Come on. I'll fill you in as we go. Robin and Superboy need our help." 

Tim's breath caught. 

"Robin's here?"

How had Damian found her? Tim had covered her tracks very well, even using a compact white noise generator so that even Superman couldn't locate her. Tim had been careful, it simply wasn't possible that the demon spawn could have found her of all people. 

Had he been following her all along? Had Tim ever left Gotham at all? 

Tim came to a conclusion, it all had to be Dick's fault. It was obvious, Dick had realized he couldn't deal with the Gremlin and found nothing better than to send him out into the world to follow Tim. Surely Dick had told Damian to find something to hurt her, something to rub in her face. 

Well, Tim was going to find the demon and make her see that she was no longer the same girl who had let him almost kill her. Tim was going to show him that she wasn't someone to mess with. 

Yeah, maybe she wasn't thinking straight. Maybe it was the well and her grudge against Damian talking, Tim didn't know, but she did know that she would make the boy pay once she had him in front of her. 

So she followed them. 

***

The Martian led them to a sandbank, and in the middle (next to a strange container), wearing a red and black suit, Robin was fighting.

Those were her colors, Damian had no right to wear it. 

No, those weren't her colors either...Tim had borrowed it from someone else. 

"These were his colors."

Tim shook her head. 

Whose colors were those? why did she care so much about them? Why did her chest ache at the thought of red and black? 

Why did she have tears in her eyes?

Why was he important? Why was he important to her?

Why was she sad because he was gone?

Who was he? where had she seen him before?

Him, him, him. 

Who was the shadow that wouldn't come out of her thoughts, crouched in the back of her mind, looking at her with sad, disappointed eyes. 

Tim looked at Robin. 

The others had taken down the guys fighting him. 

Damian was waving at the guy claiming to be Kid Flash as if he knew him. 

Tim pulled out her batarangs and attacked. She wasn't going to give Damian a chance to mess with her mind. 

She didn't give it much thought. Even though Damian's suit didn't look reinforced, like it was one of the old models, something from Dick's era, Tim wasn't going to go easy on him. She threw her batarang straight at his head, knowing it would throw him off and that would give her the advantage. 

Damian rolled away and Tim went after him.

When she got close enough, Tim jumped in the air, aimed another batarang and threw it.

It hit him in the shoulder.

Tim was right, the suit didn't have the same reinforcements as the latest model she had designed. 

The impact sent him skidding across the sand.

He stopped. He looked up at her.

Her eyes were full of pain, betrayal, and fear....

She had never wanted this. She had never wanted anything bad to happen to Damian. He was supposed to be her brother. Her little brother. A child like her.

Not the son of the League. Not the grandson of the man who hurt her.

Tim hand tightened around the batarang. 

"Now don't you feel so superior, eh boy wonder? You think you're better than me just because of your damn family? Because of your sick blood? Guess what demon, Nightwing-Batman or whatever his name is now won't put up with you for long.  And neither will I."

Fake Kid Flash came running over and grabbed her wrist. Tim tried to struggle but the blonde girl caught his other arm and between the two of them pinned her to the ground. 

Damian stood up and pulled something out of his compartments. Tim tried with even more conviction to get out of the grip of those two when she realized what it was that Damian was holding in his hands.

"Don't you dare!" 

But it was too late. Damian approached her with a syringe in his hand and plunged it into her neck. Tim winced in pain, and within seconds fell unconscious.

***

When Tim opened her eyes again, she was tied up, and she wasn't the only one, the men who had attacked Robin were tied up near her. The rest of the group were in front of her talking to each other. Damian had a hand on his shoulder, the precise spot where Tim had hit him with the batarang.  

"Are you sure she's part of the team?" she heard the red-haired boy ask. 

"Yes, she just didn't know who we are" the Martian replied. 

"I don't know who we are" said the blonde girl. 

"I think she has something on me" 

"Puff, you think so smart guy?" replied Tim raising her head. Quickly all eyes turned to her. 

"The tranquilizer must have knocked you out longer" Damian said. 

"Maybe I'm just stronger than you think, demon spawn." 

"Stop calling me that, I'm not who you think I am. I'm Robin." 

"No!" replied Tim shaking off the bindings that held her prisoner, did they really think that could hold her for long? "I was Robin, you're just a damn identity thief."

She stood up, but they were all already in fighting position in case she decided to attack. Tim wasn't stupid, they were outnumbered, and while she knew she could against Damian, the blonde and Kid Flash's pretender, the Martian's powers were unknown to her, she didn't know what she was up against. So she held up her hands in surrender. 

"There's a big mistake here, Tim," said the Martian. "You're part of our team, along with Robin. You're both very close, but I can't remember much else."

"I remember Batman ordering radio silence, that's the last thing I remember. Our team must work for him," Robin said, giving her a wary look. 

"How do you know we don't work for my mentor?" asked the speedster before pointing a finger at the lightning bolt symbol on his chest, causing his suit to change from dark gray to a yellow. "This is great!" he exclaimed, and kept poking himself, his suit continuously changing from black to yellow to black to yellow, over and over again.

Damian and Artemis tried it too, but didn't have much luck.

"We look ridiculous!" Artemis exclaimed after a moment, before turning to look at Kid Flash. "Stop touching yourself!"

Tim groaned to herself, pressing her palms against her face. Her head was hurting - since when did she have headaches? 

"We need to get our memories back," Artemis finally said, turning to look at the Martian, who had been wringing her hands until that moment.

She placed her fingers on either side of her head, and the next thing Tim knew is that Damian, Kid Flash, Artemis and she were standing inside a dark room that had some sort of shards of broken mirrors containing moving images of them. 

After a moment, the Martian's voice was heard, only this time in her head, just like the first time she had heard it. 

"I've brought you into my mind to share what I've remembered so far," the Martian said. "But, I need your help."

Then, the martian appeared completely in her mind and began to speak normally again.

"Together, our broken memories can form a whole, if you open your mind to mine."

Tim frowned, was it worth it to clear up all the confusion but let everyone see what she'd been through? It would just be giving Damian yet another reason to use against her, it would be using her past as a weapon. She didn't want him of all people to see what she had been through for the past few months.

But that person that haunted her mind and memories that Tim couldn't shape. could she remember her? 

"You want to paw through our private thoughts?" the blonde asked stepping back a bit and snapping her out of her thoughts. 

"I have no wish to intrude," the Martian admitted. "But-"

"You need to hack our minds to figure out what happened to us," Robin finished her thought. "Got it. Go."

"My brain's all yours," Wally added. "Try not to let its brilliance overwhelm you,"

"Or underwhelm you," replied Damian, "Hey. Why isn't anyone ever just whelmed?" 

"I am," admitted Tim, "But I need to know something, and I can only do it by remembering."

"Last six months only," the blonde archer said firmly. "And only what you need,"

Miss Martian nodded before four huge glowing blue hands appeared and flew slowly towards Tim and the others, landing solidly on each of their heads.

The first thing that came to her mind was her taking a plane. Her hair was shorter, she wore men's clothes, her face was ambiguous, so she could pretend to be a man with ease. The next images were of the month she spent searching for clues about Bruce, until she was found by Ra's team and forced to work with them. Next was the death of Z and Owens, Pru bleeding out on the floor and Tim being stabbed in the stomach. Waking up in the league believing she had been submerged in the Lazarus Pit. Ra's appearance and his offer for help, as long as Tim agreed to a few conditions, one of which was to join the League. Her mind was filled with images of the days that followed, Tim considering the pros and cons of having Ra's help, until finally coming to the sad answer that she was on her own, there was no Batman or team to save her. Tim accepting Ra's proposal. 

Then came the worst moment of all, one that Tim did not want to repeat.

Ra's had conditions, he wanted to know if Tim was willing to give her all for the League. Tim was not, but she was willing to do anything to bring Bruce back. 

Ra's gave her a dagger and left her alone in the cave that contained the Lazarus Pit. Tim knew what he had to do. 

She took the dagger in her hands and did not hesitate as she slit her throat side by side. She fell to the ground bleeding to death, and the last thing she managed to do before dying was to push her body into the waters of the pit. 

After that the memories were cloudy. All covered by green and anger. She barely remembered what had happened for the next month, until she had managed to control the madness of the pit enough to be a functional person. After that she had begun her training with Ra's. 

Tim looked in the mirror and didn't recognize herself. All of her scars were gone except for two. The scar on her throat from cutting it, and Jason's stab wound to the heart. 

From there she had focused on two things, getting Bruce back and taking down the Spider Council. The second had been easier than the first. 

That was as far as some of her memories went, the rest was new. 

Tim stifled a sob when she saw the machine the League had built to break into the timeline and rescue Bruce. It had all been set up in the middle of the desert for space and in case something went wrong. 

She had made it. 

Ra's was at her side as the machine powered up. The minutes took forever as everything went by, until some sort of portal opened in the middle and out came Bruce, his suit completely torn. 

Tim ran to meet him. 

She was able to hold him in her arms and look him in the eye before everything went to hell. 

Something went wrong and the machine started to catch fire. 

Tim helped Bruce to his feet and escape, but she had to go back, she had helped create that machine, she had to do something to stop it from being destroyed, no one knew what could happen if that happened. 

She went to the mainframe to try to deactivate it, but she quickly realized that no matter what she did, nothing was going to stop it. At least nothing she could do from the computer. 

Together with the League scientists they had foreseen a case where things got out of control, and had designed an emergency switch on the main platform. In case something happened that would interrupt the power flow. Yes, there would be an explosion, but they wouldn't mess with the time and space stuff. Or so they hoped. 

The energy emitting from the machine was a lot. She walked as far as she could to the center, she heard Bruce screaming her name, but exhausted and injured as he was there was nothing he could do to stop her. Tim got as close as he could to the platform when a shock wave pushed her backwards. Her head slammed so hard against a machine that she came bouncing back. 

Everything became a blur, she opened her eyes as best she could, but her head was killing her. How had she gotten there? 

In front of her was some kind of machine that was glowing, some kind of glowing hole was forming in the middle. Suddenly that hole began to suck in things nearby. She tried to hold on to the machine next to her, but there was no surface to hold on to. 

She heard someone shout a name. Tim, was that her name? 

The energy hole pulled and tugged at her. She rose from the ground, and the last thing she saw before it swallowed her was the horrified gaze of a black-haired man. 

She remembered, she finally did. She remembered her old, first team, Young Justice. She remembered Bart, Cassie, Cissie and Greta. She remembered her days in the Teen Titans and the missions and crises she faced as Robin. She remembered the deaths of her parents and friends, she remembered the news of Bart's death and how it had affected her. She remembered how devastated she felt when Batman died and her whole world fell apart, she had nothing left. 

But she also remembered coming into this world. Bruce's soft, kind words, their training together and how he always had a smile for her. Alfred's meals and his double-entendre comments that always made her laugh, how loyal he was to her even though he barely knew her. Dick and his bright smile, his inexhaustible energy, his trademark laugh and their games while patrolling or being bored at the mansion. His new team and the friends he had made. 

Roy. 

She remembered Roy. 

And though she wished he was the shadow that surrounded her thoughts begging her to remember him, Tim knew he was not. Roy wasn't that missing piece. 

But, before Tim could worry too much about those memories, Batman's voice was heard and, suddenly, she remembered exactly what had happened before she woke up in the desert and almost killed Robin.

***

With their memories recovered they realized that one of their teammates, besides Superboy, was missing. It didn't take them long to find Aqualad, but he was in a state of extreme dehydration, in which condition Miss Martian could not restore his memories. They discussed how to get him back to the ship, but Megan flew off in search of Superboy, leaving them with a half-dead Aqualad. 

Tim was going to have serious words with her once they returned to the Mount.

They managed to create a makeshift stretcher and dragged it across the sand following Robin's lead. 

Tim couldn't look him in the eye. 

She had stabbed him. 

She had promised Bruce to take care of his Robin and she had been the one to hurt him. She had mistaken him for Damian...She had thought to stab Damian. 

Was she now like Hood and trying to kill Robins? 

She could not think much about that or how she would go about asking Dick's forgiveness, because they were being followed by a troop of soldiers in military Jeeps. They hid behind some rocks and tried to silence Kaldur, who without water was delirious. 

The soldiers were too many for them. Kid Flash was tired and Artemis without arrows. Only Tim and Dick were left, but at a moment's notice Robin disappeared and returned minutes later. 

"Dude," Kid Flash asked him. "Where were you?"

"Breaking radio silence,"

Robin smiled as there was a buzzing sound before his cackle echoed through the desert night air, prompting the soldiers to go investigate, which caused an explosion and a cloud of smoke.

"That's our cue," Robin said. "Move!"

***

They managed to get back to the ship without any further trouble. Once they had Kaldur hooked up to an IV to give him fluids, Tim moved away from everyone, hoping Dick would follow. 

Of course he did. 

"Are you okay?" he asked her.

"That's what I should be asking," she replied. "How's your shoulder?" 

"It'll get better." 

They both fell into an awkward silence for a few seconds before Tim dared to open her mouth. Now that she could remember the Dick of her world well she wondered how she could have been such an idiot to compare the two of them without realizing it. She had taken it out on this Dick believing he was the brother who had abandoned her, cast her aside and traded her for someone younger. And if that wasn't enough, she had mistaken him for the demon spawn. 

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I was beside myself, and that's no excuse because under no circumstances should I have hurt you, you're just a kid."

She looked down at her feet, she looked completely ashamed of herself.

"It wasn't your fault Tim" said Dick "...I...I could see some of your memories, I think we all did. "

Her breathing stopped.

She hadn't thought about how they had seen the truth in her head, but now that they knew the kind of person she was, she felt it was too late to try to hide anything from them.

"You've been through a lot Tim." He continued. "You still do..."

"I've been a jerk to you lately though, taking it out on you for things you have no idea about, things that aren't your fault, things you haven't done and things I know you won't do."

Dick looked over to the medical bay where Artemis was still monitoring Kaldur, and Wally was eating in one of the nearby chairs.

"The Dick of your world" he whispered "He was a jerk to you, wasn't he?". 

Tim didn't respond for a moment. She closed her eyes, waiting for the pain in her chest to go away. 

"I had lost everything, all I had left was Robin, and he took that away from me. You have no idea the sacrifices I've made. The things I've given away, the pieces of myself that I gave up for Robin.... And he treated me like that."

Dick reached out to touch her arm.

Tim flinched, but didn't pull away.

"I wish I could do something to make things better, but I can't."

But Tim didn't need words, there was nothing they could do to make her situation better. 

The presence of this Dick. A Dick who seemed so different from his counterpart. A Dick who cared so much about her, even though he had never met her. A Dick who was so caring that he would give anything to help ease her pain.

A Dick who was more concerned about hurting her than her hurting him. 

This was the Dick she wanted in her life. 

Once they returned to the Mount, she would have a lot of answers to give, and she would have to have a huge talk with Bruce regarding Damian and Jason, but for the moment it was just Tim and Dick, two siblings who loved each other and didn't want to be apart.

Chapter Text

“I am made of memories.”
― Madeline Miller, The Song of Achilles

Tim was forced to tell Bruce everything that had happened, but he wouldn't let her go into detail about her memories until she had an emergency session with Dinah. Yes, another emergency session. By this point it seemed routine in Tim's life.

Batman listened to the mission report from the other Team members and immediately took Robin back to the cave to treat the shoulder injury Tim had caused him. Dick assured her before he left that it wasn't her fault and that his shoulder had seen worse.    

Dinah was supposed to be here in half an hour, because she still had to figure something out before she could talk to her. 

The truth was that Tim didn't want to talk to Dinah. 

Tim had felt safe, a little awkward, but safe talking to Dick. He had listened and understood her, the two had had a short conversation that had given Tim the confidence she needed to be able to handle the awkward talk with Batman that was to come. And Bruce had also been understanding, most importantly he hadn't pressured her to tell him anything. But he was pressuring her to open up to Dinah. Just because Dinah was her therapist did Tim have to tell Dinah everything that had happened? 

Dick, Meghan, Wally and Artemis had seen part of her story thanks to the collective memories. Tim hadn't had a choice whether or not to share that with them, and she sincerely doubted she'd go so far as to tell them something so personal, of course excluding Dick. 

But even so, she still had story left to tell. And Tim decided after a few minutes of thinking about it that Dinah wasn't the one to listen to that. Tim knew she had to talk to her at some point, but it was crystal clear to her now who could listen to her. 

So before Dinah showed up, Tim changed out of her suit into street clothes and slipped down to the Zeta Tubes. 

***

Tim had been to Roy's place once before, but with her head scrambled, it takes Tim quite a while to get from the Zeta Tube hideout in Star City to Roy's apartment downtown. 

Tim stops in front of the door and evaluates for several minutes whether she should just pick the lock and interrupt Roy's sleep. But she doesn't know if they are close enough that he wouldn't be angry if she did that. So she opts to ring the doorbell several times until Roy opens the door for her with a newly awakened and angry look on his face.

"What the hell, what are you doing here?" he growled. Tim could see his eyes narrowed, so she tried her best to put on an innocent look.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but I need to talk to someone" she said with as much sincerity as she could muster in this situation. 

He looked at her in disbelief and dragged her inside. They walked in silence until they reached his bedroom where they sat on his unmade bed with their backs against the wall and Tim looked up at the ceiling. Roy, however, seemed more interested in looking at her, so he does.

"You said you needed to talk? What the hell do you need to talk to me, Tim?" his voice is low, almost threatening.

She takes a deep breath. "Well...," she begins, "I had this mission."

"The mission why you didn't want to go to the arcade with me?" 

"First of all, I invited you to the arcade, so I canceled something I had planned."

"You still owe me a date at the arcade." 

Tim laughed. Even if it wasn't planned, Roy always managed to make her smile or get a laugh out of her. 

"Don't call it a date, it's like we're dating or something."

Roy raised his eyebrows skeptically at her statement.

"And we're not?" Tim could see how Roy was trying to hold his laughter back. 

"Can you take me seriously?" she asks in a slightly annoyed tone.

"Okay... You went on this mission, and what happened?"

Tim proceeded to explain how The Team had lost their memories and had ended up wandering the desert until they could be reunited, not without some trouble in between. To finally explain how Miss Martian put all their memories together. 

Roy's expression slowly transformed from skeptical to horrified, and his hands clenched into fists.

"She got inside your head?" 

Tim was surprised to hear the raw anger in his voice.

"We needed to remember why we were there, so we agreed. It was all consensual, it was for the greater good."

"If you say so," he snorted. His face suddenly changed back to his usual calm demeanor, though the anger remained hidden. 

"But that's not what's important." said Tim nervously.

"What could be more important than someone getting inside your head?" he asked. The question made Tim wonder what exactly Roy thought about people getting into his head.

"I..." she finally said "I got my memories back."

Roy sat silent for a few moments. He seemed genuinely surprised.

"Really?" he asked. 

"It took me a while, but yes." She smiled reassuringly "There are some things I can't remember, which is weird and confusing, but I remember almost everything perfectly, especially how I ended up here."

"And how did you end up here?" asked Roy.

"Well," she began, "that's a little hard to explain."

He gave her a questioning look.

"You could start at the beginning."

"Where do I start?" she thought for a moment.

"I've always wondered how you became Robin. "

"Well, that's a good way to start. I don't want to overcomplicate things, so I won't go into details, but it all started when I discovered the identity of Batman and Robin. At the time I was nine years old and a very curious little girl with a lot of free time."

"I know you're a genius, but nine years old?" interjected Roy.

"That's what happens when you live with parents who don't spend much time at home" she smiled.

He rolled his eyes "Go on."

"Anyway," continued Tim "Years later Robin..." Despite all that had happened over the years, it still pained Tim to admit that Robin - her hero - had died. "Robin died and Batman went crazy, sending minor criminals to the ICU and turning his mission into a suicidal act. I couldn't stand by and do nothing."

"Dick died?" Roy asked incredulously.

"No, Dick grew up and another Robin took up the mantle."

This seemed to confuse Roy even more, but he decided to drop the subject.

"Since I knew Dick used to be Robin, I tried to convince him to go back to being Robin, but it didn't work. I knew Batman needs a Robin, so I sought him out and told him to let me be Robin."

"And it worked?"

Tim let out a laugh. 

"Of course it didn't work. But it was true that Batman needed a Robin, soon after that he got into trouble and I came to his rescue. Still, things weren't easy. He still didn't want me to be Robin, so he was hard on me. I did what I could until he gave me the suit. But there was still a problem."

"Problem?"

Tim nodded "The first and second Robin were boys, Batman wanted that to continue. And I don't know if you noticed, but I'm a girl."

"Yes, I've noticed." He smiled with a sideways grin.

"I was still young, so I just cut my hair short and had them call me he/him while I was on patrol, on some mission or in the cave. After a while I stopped being a girl while I was with Batman, he wanted me to be a boy, so I had to be one."

"Wow," Roy said flatly.

"Yes, as I got older I adapted my costume to look more masculine. I trained more to gain muscle mass and learned to modulate my tone of voice."

"Modulate? How do you change your tone?"

"Yes, I learned to control and tone my voice to be louder or softer or anything else. I never felt like a girl when I was in the suit. I never even considered putting on a bra."

She realized she had said more than she needed to and turned redder. Roy had a strange expression on his face, a mixture of disbelief and amazement. When Tim was sure her heart was beating normally again, she spoke again.

"Anyway I think that sums up how I became Robin." 

Roy nodded thoughtfully.

"Okay, yeah, that makes sense. But that doesn't explain how you got here."

"My Batman died in battle. Things got crazy after that. Even before that Batman and I weren't on the best of terms."

She took a long pause to gather her thoughts.

"There was a fight to see who got the cowl. I wanted Dick to take the mantle, but there was no way to convince him. It wasn't until Jason became Batman and I took the Batman suit to face him that Dick decided to step in."

"Who's Jason?" Roy asked. 

"The second Robin."

"But you say he died."

"And he did, but he came back from the dead with a thirst for revenge. He almost killed me for taking his place. But that's not what's important."

"You'll have to talk to me about that sometime."

"And I will, but let me finish my story."

"Go on."

"Shortly before Batman died, this boy appeared, his son. From the beginning he hated me. He thought I was taking a place that wasn't mine."

She paused to gather her thoughts, trying to decide where to begin. Her...dismissal was still a very recent thing that affected her more than anything else. 

"With Batman's death, things got worse. One day I went down to the cave and he was wearing my suit. Dick handed Robin over to him without consulting me. We had a big fight and I left. That's when I realized that Batman wasn't dead and it was my job to find him. Some people tried to stop me, but I left Gotham and started looking for clues that indeed Batman was trapped in time." Tim paused, she was getting close to the part she didn't like "For a while I didn't find anything, but then the first clue popped up and I got Ra's Al Ghul's attention, he wanted to find Batman too."

Roy frowned.

"Of all the people in the world it had to be Ra's Al Ghul," he muttered.

Tim couldn't help but smile. She couldn't imagine how pissed off Roy was, but she understood why he was reacting that way. She was really pissed when she got Ra's attention. 

"So he sent three assassins after me to get me to agree to work for him, of course I defeated them and he ordered them to help me. The four of us became friends of sorts, they were good company while I gathered clues."

"And did you find him?"

"I did... and then we were attacked. Two of my friends were killed outright, the other had her throat slit and I was stabbed through with a sword."

"What!"

"When I woke up I was in one of Ra's bases, I thought I had been plunged into a Lazarus Pit, but they had only operated on me and removed my spleen because it was beyond repair."

"What's a Lazarus Pit?"

"Oh."

Then Tim remembered that although this universe was more advanced in technology than hers, events were still far behind, so it was possible that not everyone knew of the existence of the Lazarus Pits yet, or perhaps not everyone had access to that information. But Tim trusted Roy, so she took a couple of minutes to explain what it was all about, so she could continue with her story without interruption. 

"Then Ra's convinced me that if I wanted Batman back I needed his help, after all Dick had convinced the Justice League that I was crazy. I had no choice, so I sold my soul to the devil. But Ra's wanted nothing more than absolute certainty that I would not betray him. He wanted to know how much I was willing to do to get Batman back. So he left me by the pit and handed me a knife. Right away I knew what I had to do. I slit my throat, and when I resurfaced from the waters of the pit and was able to keep my mind clear I became Ra's Al Ghul's protégé. Up until that point everyone referred to me as Red Robin, because of the suit I wore, after the pit I became Ra's sword, a title I didn't like at all. Ra's even made me change my costume." 

Roy ignored everything else and focused on Tim's name, maybe because he knew if she started talking in depth about her time with Ra's she would break down. 

"So your name is Red Robin?"

"Well, it's a borrowed name. It's not really mine and I don't feel comfortable being Red Robin now." admitted Tim.

"So what's your name?"

"Dick suggested Batgirl, but there's already one in my universe. And I'd feel disrespectful if I couldn't ask her permission to use her name. So, after much thought, I decided my new name is...drum roll, please." Roy rolled his eyes. Tim smiled, because despite the bad memories the conversation brought back, she could still joke with her friend. She still had hope that she wasn't as broken as she thought. "From now on I will be known as Nightcrawler."

"Nightcrawler. Interesting."

"It is, isn't it?"

"Continue your story, I want to know how I ended up having to have you in my apartment in the middle of the night."

"Okay... Well, as I was saying. I became Ra's protégé and he personally trained me while I was in charge of defeating the group of assassins behind the League. When I did - with a few explosions in between - Ra's kept his promise and helped me bring Batman back. Together with his scientists we were able to create a machine that was able to break time and bring Batman back. I held him in my arms for a moment before everything went wrong. The machine started malfunctioning and I tried to stop it, there was an explosion and I hit my head. I think along with all the mental load I was dealing with, my mind snapped. With the failure of the machine, somehow a portal opened to this universe, and since I was the closest thing to it, I was pulled here."

Roy was silent for several minutes until he finally got up and disappeared out the door to his room. Tim could hear some noise, but she didn't want to get up to look. Roy hadn't asked her to wait for him, but it was implied.

He returned after a few moments with two glasses in his hand, went back to his old place in bed and offered a glass to Tim.

Tim accepted the glass without hesitation, because this is Roy. But as soon as she took a sip she regretted it and spit it all out.

"Is this alcohol?"

"It's rum, but it helps when things are really messed up."

"So young and already an alcoholic?"

"Try living with Ollie for years and you'll understand me."

Tim grimaced, but ended up taking a big sip from the glass. Maybe living with Bruce, her Bruce, didn't compare to having to put up with Oliver Queen, but Bruce sure was a complicated person. Just remembering how she spent her sixteenth birthday gave her a headache.

When they both finished their drink (Roy before Tim) they goes in search of the rest of the bottle, and when that doesn't seem to be enough, they goes for another.

Tim missed out on the experiences of adolescence for years, always busy with her career as Robin. But now, for the first time, she had nothing to think about.

She had come to find her friend because she needed someone to listen to her, not to tell her what to do, as she knew Dinah would try to do. She didn't regret her decision, because Roy had listened to her and was now giving her an escape from having to think about it.

Maybe it wasn't the best alternative, and Tim knew that in the morning she would regret it, but that night she allowed herself to be a teenager and drown her shit in the company of alcohol and her friend.

***

Tim regrets the last decisions she made. Talking to Roy was not one of it, but agreeing to drink with him was. Somehow a few drinks that would have done little more than leave her with some dizziness and slurred speech turned into a binge not at all enviable to the ones the Brucie of her world used to fake. 

When she awoke in the morning her head was killing her, but that was the worst of her problems. She could barely remember what had happened after the sixth glass. She was still in Roy's room, although there was now a considerable mess. 

All she could see was a pile of clothes and bedding everywhere, and a pile of books thrown overboard. Her shoes were missing and her pants had a stain of something on the thigh, plus they were wearing a T-shirt that wasn't hers, and it was also dirty. Tim slowly sat up and realized that Roy was nowhere to be seen. In a corner she saw a blanket and a small pillow under which she assumed he was sleeping. She left the room and looked around; the kitchen was a disaster area filled with food containers, dishes, empty cans and the smell of alcohol.  She saw Roy at the stove trying to make himself some coffee.

"...Good morning," Roy said sleepily.

Tim nodded and walked over to him, crouched down in front of the counter and stared at the pile of junk Roy called coffee grounds. 

If Tim hadn't felt the world spinning around her, she surely would have taught Roy what real coffee was. But alas, Tim was suffering from what is commonly known as a hangover, the first of her life, because although she and Roy had shared a few drinks before, never anything like the night before.  So she sat down on the wooden stool and rested her head on the cold countertop. 

"Here, drink this" Roy offered as he handed her a glass of water. She accepted it and sipped it slowly; the liquid went down her throat without choking her.

After a few seconds she looked up at him and murmured a thank you.

"You look awful..." Roy commented, handed her another cup and poured himself some orange juice as well before sitting down next to her on the stool. All in all, he looked good, although his hair was a mess and his clothes were just as dirty as Tim's.

"Thanks," Tim replied sarcastically.

"Really."

"I know," she replied sadly. "It sucks."

"Do you want me to refill your glass?".

"Please." 

When Roy returned a second later with the orange juice, Tim noticed the state of the room and that there was a huge puddle of vomit on the floor. 

"This is a mess!" said Tim, "We should clean it up."

"Well...it's certainly seen better days."

Once the coffee was ready and they both drank at least one cup, they decided it was time to clean things up a bit. Tim started cleaning up the kitchen while Roy took care of the vomit on the floor...and everything else on the floor. Really, at what point had they moved everything into the kitchen? It would have been better if they had stayed in the room drinking, so it would have been less of a mess to clean up. Tim learned that when she drank she lost all self-control, so maybe it wasn't such a good idea to drink with Roy. They were both a walking mess. 

In the end, everything was tidy until they were back to considering themselves decent.

"Next time," Roy said. "We'll just drink beer."

"That would probably be better," she replied. Then they were both silent, thinking. For a while neither spoke.

"Tim... I... What am I like in your universe?" asked Roy after what seemed like an eternity, Tim was grateful for the silence. 

"What do you mean?" 

"Are we friends?" asked Roy quietly.

"...To be honest, I hardly know you. You're Dick's friend, so I've met you a couple of times and chatted with you a bit. But I'm just your friend's little sister." she replied.

"Oh," he said with disappointment evident on his face. 

"But we're friends now, aren't we?" she asked with a concerned tone.

"Yes, we are, right?".

" Good..." Tim said, smiling at him.

Deep down, Tim was grateful that Roy didn't ask more about his other universe self. Tim wasn't sure how to tell him everything that that Roy had been through. So she decided that she would not let this Roy go through the same thing. Maybe her stay in this universe wouldn't be forever, but she would make sure it was worth it. 

***

By the time she returned to Gotham it was already past noon. Bruce was due at the company so Tim would have to deal with Alfred's passive-aggressive, but concerned, comments. With any luck Dick would be at Mount Justice and could avoid him until dinner, when Bruce would arrive and have a chat with her. By that time Tim was sure she could win Alfred's sympathy and get him to calm Bruce down.

She was out of money, but Roy had given her some bills for the bus, so Tim allowed herself to enjoy the ride to Bristol, the last stop on the tour. She knew the road well, even passing in front of her old house. 

Tim couldn't help but wonder about her parents, who were theirs in this universe. Had she been born yet? Surely they were on a trip as usual, visiting some archaeological dig. Perhaps her self in this universe was being raised by nannies, as Tim had been, if her calculations were correct she was still too young to be sent to boarding school. Tim had started going when she was 10 years old, only a few months after discovering who Batman and Robin were. At least she had gotten to do it, it had changed her life forever. Only Tim didn't know if for better or worse. 

The imposing doors of the mansion greeted her. Tim punched in the access code at the entrance, knowing that it would alert Alfred to her arrival and he would surely be waiting for her at the door. Good, she thought, because she don't have keys. 

Of course, Tim was right. 

Alfred was waiting for her at the door, his look was one of pure disappointment. 

Tim realizes that maybe, just maybe, she should have taken Roy up on his offer to wash her clothes, take a bath and then leave. She had recovered her shoes, but her pants were still stained and her shirt was beyond salvation, so she had kept Roy's shirt on and had tried to untangle her hair. It was longer than Tim was used to, but since Bruce's death, she hadn't had the time or the heart to cut her hair into her normal pixie cut. Thanks to her time in the League and her exposure to the Pit, her hair reached a little below her shoulders. Tim hadn't decided whether to keep it or cut it again.

Well, Tim had endured scolding from Alfred before anyway. Nothing could be worse than the time she burned down the kitchen for trying to follow a recipe she saw on the Internet. So her appearance and state of lucidity couldn't get any worse. Of course, as if her humiliation couldn't get much worse, Dick was right behind Alfred.  He seemed to know she was in trouble, judging by his expression.

He moved toward Tim, but Alfred stopped him before he could reach her.

"Miss Tim," Alfred began in a stern voice. "Master Bruce is waiting for you in his study."

Tim swallowed. 

"Alfred please let me explain-" she tried to protest, but Alfred cut her off.

"No Miss Tim, I won't allow it," he replied with determination.

Dick looked from one to the other. He was clearly concerned and wanted to help, but he knew he was far from being able to do so. He looked at Tim helplessly.

"Please let me explain..." she pleaded.

Tim knew that against Alfred she couldn't argue, she could only accept her fate. She had brought it on herself. 

Tim sighed and followed Alfred into the study. There, Bruce was standing, bent over his desk, reading something in one of the numerous folders in front of him. When he heard the door open, he put the folder down and fixed his glasses as he turned to look at them.

"Thank you Alfred, you may leave us alone."

Alfred gave a slight bow and left the room. When the door closed, Bruce returned his gaze with a blank expression.

"Tim," he said neutrally, as if they had nothing to discuss.

"Bruce," she replied.

He didn't answer her immediately

"I guess I owe you an explanation," Tim began. 

"An explanation? Tim, you've disappeared. No one heard from you for hours. Do you know how worried we were? And now you show up drunk in my study. Tell me, do you know how angry I am right now?"

Tim could feel tears stinging in her eyes; the truth was that she had expected Bruce to be angry, but the fact that he showed it so soon made her sad. 

Over the years she had grown accustomed to disappointing Bruce (her Bruce). Tim had never been what Bruce wanted, but what he needed. So she had taken what she could from him, the good and the bad. By now she was used to Bruce getting mad at her, yelling at her, or just kicking her out of the cave because he couldn't stand the sight of her face. 

But this Bruce...

He was looking at her with genuine concern and shock in his eyes. Tim couldn't remember the last time someone cared so much about her. The pain in her chest increased, and her cheeks turned red.

"Bruce...," she said weakly, trying to control her emotions. "I know I made a mistake...I did things I shouldn't have. I'm sorry I ran away from the session with Dinah, and, well, you'll have found out where I was. It won't happen again. " 

"Sit down Tim," Bruce ordered.

Tim sat down on the leather couch in front of the desk. Her hands were clenched tightly into fists, her fingernails digging painfully into her palms.

Bruce continued. "You think I'm mad that you've been drinking? I was your age, I did things I regret. But how do you think I felt? How did we all feel not knowing where you were?  I checked the Mount's cameras and even asked Green Arrow to look for you in Star City. But no one could find you, you disappeared off the map.  And to top it all off, you didn't answer my calls. I spent all night pacing back and forth in front of the computer, wondering if you were okay or hurt. And the worst part is that I couldn't see you, or hear you cry.... All I knew was that I was completely powerless to make the situation better. And the way you acted scared me, I don't want anything to happen to you. Ever. So, please, tell me... how are you, are you okay?"

Tears streamed down her face, leaving wet trails in their wake. Tim didn't notice, but she was crying silently. Bruce watched her with concern as she cried. When she finally regained her composure, Bruce handed her a tissue.

"I'm fine," she replied.

"You're not... Tim, you were gone almost a day. A day. Don't you know how many things can go wrong?".

"Yes, I do..." Tim muttered. "And you're right."

"Of course I'm right!" barked Bruce.

Tim shuddered. She took a deep breath before continuing. "Look, I'm sorry I ran away. It won't happen again, I promise."

"I believe you. But I'm serious, Tim. We were really worried."

"It's okay..." she whispered softly, "really. I understand that you were angry. I'd be angry too, but I understand what you're saying. If I had known you cared so much about me, I wouldn't have run away. I'm truly sorry. "

"It's okay, but next time, I want you to call me."

"Okay, I promise."

Bruce smiled warmly at her and got up from the chair. "Now come on, you have to tell me what you remember. "

Tim doesn't know exactly how much time she spends talking to Bruce. Her memories wanted to be heard, and Tim knew he enjoyed knowing the smallest details, so Tim allowed herself to be as detailed as possible. Still, there were things she preferred to keep to herself. Still she tells him everything she remembers about her career as Robin, although she still feels there are parts that don't quite fit, as if there is an essential piece missing to see the whole picture. 

Unlike Roy, Bruce doesn't interrupt her to make comments or ask questions. He listens to it all in attentive silence and nods at the parts where Tim wonders if he understood what she was trying to explain. It reminds her so much of her Bruce that it's painful.  Although, of course, her Bruce would never have told her how much she meant to him. Her Bruce had lost too much to allow himself such a thing, this Bruce only knew the pain of losing his parents, never the emptiness of holding his son's body in his arms.

As she talks, Tim avoids talking about Jason. She merely says that there was a Robin before her who retired and that someone else had to take his place because no one else could be Robin. She also avoids explicitly talking about Red Hood. This Bruce didn't need to know about one of his son's possible futures. Tim is going to stop him, but she still has time, Jason is still young. 

And above all, she avoids Damian's name. Just for the moment. 

Tim's mouth feels dry as she finishes speaking. She could use another glass of orange juice like the one Roy made her drink before she left. 

But she knows she's lost her benefits with Alfred. It's possible that for the next few days her breakfast will be cold. 

Tim stares at Bruce, waiting for his verdict. She was sure that, like her Bruce, this Bruce would scold her for getting caught in the shockwave and ending up in another universe. He would surely make her reflect on her mistakes, especially for allying herself with Ra's Al Ghul and allowing herself to be manipulated by him. Maybe he would even leave her in a holding cell to study the effects of the Lazarus pit on her. 
 
Tim could already imagine that.

But Bruce, in an act completely contrary to any of Tim's wildest thoughts, got up and hugged her. 

His arms wrapped tightly around her body, while hers rested on his shoulder. His chin rested on her head.

She didn't know how long they stayed like that, just enjoying each other's presence. After a few minutes, Bruce slowly pulled away, and placed his hand gently on her cheek.

"Thank you, for telling me."

Tim's cheeks reddened as Bruce's fingers brushed her face. His touch was so soft, tender even, that it surprised her. It had taken her months to learn to trust the Bruce of her world, but this Bruce somehow his kindness made her feel safe. She felt as if, whatever would happen today between them, whatever would happen tomorrow, they would both have each other. She had forgotten how comforting that feeling was.

"At least now we know why I was looking for you," she added after a minute.

They both laughed and Bruce hugged her by the shoulders again, as he always did when Dick told some funny joke. 

Then Tim couldn't help but compare Bruce's hugs to the hugs she had received the night before from Roy. 

They were both kind, affectionate and full of love. Whereas Roy was more reserved, but at the same time, more open and relaxed. Bruce's hugs were tight and full of love and understanding. They were firm and strong, but conveyed their love without words. And Bruce's hugs... well, she could never get enough of them.

"Bruce," she says. "I need to know something." 

"What is it?" Bruce asks, sitting back down.

"Have you been with Talia Al Ghul?. And I mean physically way." she said without daring to ask directly if he'd had sex with Talia. 

Bruce looked at her visibly puzzled for a few seconds, not believing she had dared to ask that. 

Finally he sighed and nodded.

"Yes," he said quietly. 

"How long ago was that?" she continued to ask. 

"Do you really need to know that?"

"It's important."

"A year ago."

"Wow," she said quietly.

"Why do you ask?" Bruce asked, confused.

Tim's plans about saving the information for when the time was right had just backfired. Maybe it was selfish of her to think that if she kept quiet maybe she could save herself the headache that is Damian. But now that she knows there's a small chance that Damian exists.... Tim can't let the kid go through the horror that was growing up in the league again. Tim had only been an official member for a couple of months, but they had been the worst months of her life. A haze of blood, sweat and tears. 

No. Tim definitely wouldn't let Damian go through something like that again. She would save him from the horrors of becoming a killer. She would protect him from more violence.

"Bruce, there's something else I need to talk to you about."

***

A few days later, Tim decides she can no longer run from Dinah.

She's talked to her family, had long calls with Roy, even talked to herself through the mirror. The time has come. If Tim wants to get better, if she wants to overcome her past and stop hurting the people she loves and herself, it's time for her to resume therapy. Now, with her memories recovered (or most of it) she's sure Dinah will be able to set better priorities on what to focus on. 

But Tim is sure of one thing. If she wants to get better, she has to talk about her family. She can't keep ignoring how much they've hurt her. 

Maybe when she can get back to her universe, she'll be strong enough to stand up to them. Maybe then she would be able to forgive them. Forgiveness was hard work. Forgiveness wasn't something you just did.

But she had to try.

Chapter Text

“Our eyes met like a car crash, colliding and breaking away.”

― T.J. Klune, Wolfsong

Tim was crossing the hallway, her mind already occupied with the thoughts of the day. She had slept poorly, her head ached as usual, and the summer was almost over. Yes, it was an ordinary day. She was still grounded from her latest act of escapism, so her only concern for the day was watching TV and maybe annoying Dick a little. Take advantage of the fact that he was still smaller than she was, so she wouldn't have to suffer the consequences of her actions.

When she reached the corner, she stopped suddenly, because right in front of her was Bruce. He seemed to be waiting for her, one of those quirks of Bruce's that Tim had grown used to.

Bruce watched her for a moment before speaking, his tone serious, but with a slight softness that Tim only got to sense when it came to important matters. 

“Classes will begin tomorrow,” Bruce said, bluntly, as if he had already made a decision that required no discussion. "I have decided that you must attend. Not Gotham Academy, but Happy Harbor High School. Being around the team will be good for you, rather than staying home or reclusive here." 

Tim nodded slowly. In Bruce-speak it meant that he wanted Tim to have a social life, especially if it was with teenagers her age and spend a few hours in a place where he didn't have to be worried wondering what she was doing. Tim had to admit she was a constant pain in the ass lately. She almost felt sorry for Bruce, almost. 

“So what are we going to do about my last name?” asked Tim, looking at Bruce with a slight smile. 

Bruce looked at her, apparently considering the question for a second. His gaze was deep, thoughtful, as if he was calibrating each word before answering. 

“I'd like...I'd like you to take my last name,” he finally said, with a sincerity that made him sound almost vulnerable. “But that would open up too many questions...and I don't want to put you in the middle of that.”

Tim let out a small laugh and shook her head, downplaying the situation. 

“That's okay, Bruce,” she replied in a playful tone. "I can always take the last name Smith. After all, it's the most common one in the country, isn't it? It's either that or Doe, but I think it sounds a little wrong Timothea Doe."

Bruce nodded with a small smile on his lips, appreciating Tim's attempt to smooth things over. 

“Smith will be perfect.”

They walked together toward the kitchen. Warm morning light illuminated the hallway and the sound of silverware could be heard faintly from the dining room. 

When they arrived, Alfred was there, as usual, preparing breakfast. Dick was already seated at the table, with his bowl full of cereal and a carefree air. Tim couldn't help but smile at the image of Dick enjoying his breakfast, as if nothing could ruin his day. 

“You know, Gotham Academy is going to be boring without you,” Dick said without looking up from his bowl.

Tim sat down at the table and looked up at him, the smile on her lips still present.

“I wish we had been in the same school together” 

Dick looked up and looked at her with a twinkle in his eye. 

“Me too” he finally replied. “I'd gotten used to spending the summer with you, doing all that crazy stuff.” Tim raised an eyebrow at that. “Well, I'll always have Artemis around to annoy.”

Tim burst out laughing at the mention of Artemis. She still didn't trust that girl, so the idea of Dick having as a possible target for pranks made her day a little brighter. 

“Remember what I told you” Bruce interjected, looking up. "You just watch, Dick. Don't get too close to her." 

They exchanged glances for a moment before Dick continued to eat in silence. As he did, Tim realized something important. It was the first time in days that she could distinguish this Dick from the Dick of her universe. This Dick, who was not a version distorted by her own emotions, was something new. Something genuine. 

A small smile broke out on her face as she thought about it, and somehow, she felt calmer. Tim knew that when she had an upcoming session with Dinah, she would share this breakthrough. 

But for now, Tim just wanted to enjoy this moment, this new normal that was forming.

***

Since breakfast, everyone seemed to be busy with something. Bruce had been gone for WE, probably buried in reports and shareholder issues that Tim didn't envy at all. Dick had left early, mumbling something about training and how Wally wouldn't be spared from his "payback" plan for a prank he'd played on him days ago. Tim didn't ask for details, but she imagined there would be a lot of chaos involved that she didn't want to be a part of. 

And Alfred... well, Alfred was in his natural state: keeping the mansion running smoothly.  

And that left her alone.  

Normally, Tim would have taken advantage of this kind of time to train or research something that interested her, but since she was grounded... today she could simply use the last day of vacation to spend it with herself. So Tim found herself on the couch, curled up in a blanket with the TV on a documentary channel, watching a narrator talk passionately about whale migration. Not that she cared much, but the narrator's voice was monotone enough to serve as background noise as she let her mind wander.  

Or it would have been, if his cell phone hadn't suddenly vibrated against her thigh.

Tim smiled with amusement before answering.

“Let me guess,” she said, not bothering to say hello. “You've gotten yourself in trouble again and you need my unmatched intelligence to save your ass.”

“First, hello, honey, I'm glad to know you care so much about me,” Roy replied with a cheeky tone. “Second, you assume I'm in trouble when, in reality, I just want to spend time with you.”

Tim arched an eyebrow.

“Is that what we're calling it now?”

"Sure. I'm a sensitive man, Tim. I like to enjoy good company, long talks...clandestine encounters where someone might end up with their pants off."

Tim didn't flinch at his obvious provocation. 

“If you think I'm going to take my pants off for you, Speedy, you're going to need a lot more than that cheap line.”

"Who said I was talking about you? Maybe I was implying that I'll be the one who ends up with no pants. You know, like last time. My house, a few beers, you puking on me."

Tim was silent for a moment.

"... God."

Roy let out a small laugh on the other end of the line, clearly pleased with himself. Tim liked that laugh. It was so hard to get Roy to stop being that usual serious, bitter person. 

"I did it. I left you speechless."

Tim shook her head, but her smile didn't disappear.

“I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that. What do you want?”

“I need Nightcrawler for a small favor.”

Tim arched an eyebrow, though he couldn't see it.  

"Small favor sounds suspicious coming from you. Am I going to end up in an explosion?"

"Not if everything goes well," Roy said, in a tone that did nothing to reassure her.  

“That's exactly what someone who's planning to blow me up would say.”

“Come on, when have I ever gotten you in trouble?”

“Do you want a list in chronological order or by level of ground?”

"Okay, point for you. But seriously, this isn't that risky. I just need help with something that might take a little time."

Tim sighed, playing hard to get just for drama.  

"Hmmm...I don't know, Roy. I had no plans to risk my life today. I thought I'd spend the afternoon being a civilized person, watching whale documentaries."

“Whale documentaries?”

“Yes, learning about their noble and mysterious existence.”

“You sound more like that nerd Dick every day. are you coming or not?”

Tim pretended to think about it for a moment.  

“Depends. What's in it for me?”

“The satisfaction of helping a friend in need.”  

"Pathetic. You're not even my friend. Try again."

“I'll buy you dinner later.”

Tim smiled. 

“Now we're talking about something more interesting.”

“Then that's a yes.”

“See you in a bit, Speedy.”

"I look forward to seeing you, baby. Get some sunglasses and I'll see you at Star."

The call ended, and Tim dropped the cell phone in her lap, shaking her head in amusement.  

Bruce hadn't taken the cell phone from her, which was a small miracle considering everything that had happened. He probably didn't think she'd use it to do anything irresponsible. Poor thing. Bruce still hadn't learned that, when it came to Roy Harper, irresponsibility was part of the package.  

With one last glance at the screen, where the title of the whale documentary was still showing, Tim stretched and got up from the couch. 

“I guess Roy is more important than whales” she muttered to herself before going to Dick's room, stealing some glasses and heading down to the cave. 

Once there, Tim made sure no one was nearby before moving swiftly toward the Zeta Tube. With the efficiency of someone who had done this before, she entered the coordinates and waited for the technology to work its magic.  

“Time to find out what mess Roy is getting me into this time.”

***

Somehow Tim had been dragged to Taipei, during the peace summit between North and South Rhelasia. 

The two nations had been in conflict for generations, and had agreed to arrange a peace summit in a neutral location with an impartial arbiter. So far the identity of the arbitrator was a total secret known only to the united nations, the news even named Superman, but Tim knew that was false, she would have heard about it by now. 

At this moment the whole world had their eyes on their TV sets to know how it would all end, so of course something bad was going to happen. And they were there to stop that. 

“The car is coming” Tim heard in her ear. “Hold your position” 

“Ge it ” she replied.  

Roy and she had managed to infiltrate the security guards covering the outside of the building, it was the best place to wait for the assassin's arrival. 

Of course, it hadn't been that easy, especially for her. Roy had it easy being tall, stocky and male. Tim, on the other hand, had had to cut her hair short and style it back with gel to make her look a little more masculine. Her body was in shape, so she had to wear special shoes to make her look a few inches taller than she was, and of course she had to use her acting skills to modify her voice to make it deeper and raspier.  Tim  throat hurt, but if they could keep the summit going it would all be worth it, especially the ground she was about to receive. 

When the car carrying the referee stopped, disaster struck. 

A mini missile was heading straight for them, but Roy was quick and managed to deflect it with one of his arrows, giving the leaders time to be protected by their security team. It was then that Tim had to do her part. 

Cheshire, the assassin, went straight for the guards at the entrance. And she actually defeated them very quickly, Tim had to give her that, she was good at what she did, the peace summits had to start hiring better people. 

Tim was just behind one of the large pillars of the building, and seeing that the way was clear, she jumped into the fray. Cheshire's punches were strong and accurate, and some of her moves reminded her of Dick. But this wasn't the first time she had faced Cheshire, maybe not the same one from her universe, but it was almost the same. 

Tim dodged one of her spinning kicks and returned with an accurate punch to the stomach. When Cheshire tried to use her nails to slit Tim's throat she threw her head back and couldn't help but reach a hand to her neck and caress it. No matter the universe, something seemed to be calling people to want to slit her throat. 

Cheshire pulled out her blades and Tim barely had time to react before one of her blades grazed her cheek, leaving a shallow cut. Great. Now on top of everything else Tim was going to have to explain why she had a new scar on her face.

Cheshire girled in on herself and launched another lunge with her blade. Tim leaned back, feeling the blade pass dangerously close to her face again.  

Tim regained her balance and returned the attack with a kick to the side. Cheshire absorbed the impact gracefully, but Tim gave her no chance to react. She propelled herself forward and threw a punch straight to Chesire stomach. The assassin blocked with her forearm, but still had to back up a couple of steps.  

That was something.  

Cheshire shifted the dagger in her hand, adjusting her posture. Tim didn't need her to speak to know what she was thinking: Fine. You want to play for real.

And then she lunged again.  

Tim barely dodged another spinning kick. She took advantage of the proximity to catch Cheshire's arm and twist it in an attempt to disarm her, but the assassin was stronger than she looked. She broke free of the grip with ease and tried to cut the air between them with another swift lunge. Tim took a step back, then another. Cheshire pressed the attack, forcing her back until Tim felt her back slam into one of the building's pillars.  

It was not a good position.  

Before Cheshire could take advantage, a hiss cut through the air.  

Roy's arrow unfurled a net that closed on the assassin on the spot. For a second, Tim thought that would be enough. But Cheshire was no second-rate criminal.  

With a single swift movement, she pulled another dagger from her belt and cut the net before it could completely immobilize her.  

Tim gave her no chance to regain her stance. She propelled herself forward, flicked her wrist to make Cheshire drop the weapon and then threw a leg sweep. Cheshire lost her balance and fell backwards.  

She wasn't going to stay still for long.  

Tim moved quickly and pinned her in a headlock on the ground.  

“Stay still,” Tim murmured to her.  

Tim didn't expect her to obey.  

Roy reached her with the bow still held high.  

“Well done.”

There was no time to celebrate.  

Tim looked up just in time to how in a matter of seconds, they were completely surrounded by armed guards and police. 

“Are you serious?” growled Roy, lowering the bow.  

Tim clenched her jaw and let go of Cheshire gingerly, raising her hands in the air slowly. 

The guards rushed over, handcuffed them and placed them on their knees on the ground.

That's when the car door opened, revealing a tall silhouette, dressed in a perfectly pressed suit.

No. It couldn't be.

Lex Luthor stepped out of the car with his usually calculated smile, hands in his pockets and an expression that mixed satisfaction with superiority.

Tim felt a shiver run down her spine. She turned her head slowly toward Roy, who wore the same expression of utter shock.

“Don't look at me,” he whispered, eyes still locked on Luthor. “I didn't know either.”

Tim swallowed hard. 

This was definitely not going to go well.

***

The patrol car with Cheshire in it disappeared into the streets, escorted by several police vehicles. Still handcuffed, Tim and Roy remained standing, surrounded by security and police officers who watched them warily.  

Lex Luthor paced in front of them, waiting for something from his assistant. Tim felt a twinge of irritation in the pit of her stomach at the sight of him, but she didn't let it show on her face.  

After a few minutes returned to the scene, whispered something in Luthor's ear and he seemed to smile in pleasure as he turned to them. 

"We have confirmation," he began. "This one's Green Arrow's pals, Speedy"

"It's Red Arrow now," Roy cut in.

“And the other one?” the police officer asked. Tim almost smiled to hear that her disguise had paid off. 

“My partner,” Roy replied at once, with a grimace of irritation as he looked at Lex. 

"They must be questioned," a police captain said to Luthor, who held up a hand.

"Lex Luthor vouches for them, Captain. Release the sidekicks,"

Tim rolled her eyes, grateful to still have her glasses. Not only was she going to be grounded, but she owed Lex freaking Luthor a favor. Bruce was going to be so happy when he found out. 

"Ex-sidekick," Roy growled as the two police officers unlocked the handcuffs of first him, then Tim. "And we don't need any favors from you,"

"Apologies," Luthor said, sounding eerily calm, given the situation. "I didn't realize you and your...partner here would like to join the young lady behind bars," 

Tim patted her wrists as soon as she was released. One of the disadvantages of her body type was that her wrists were too bony, a little squeeze was already painful, and the cops hadn't been measured when it came to handcuff safety. 

"You may have everyone else fooled here, Luthor," Roy said as he pulled up beside him. "But, we both know what you are,"

"Oh," Luthor said calmly again. "I don't pretend to be an angel. It just so happens that this time, I'm on the side of the angels,"

They were led into the building where the summit was underway, but the situation had not improved. The leaders of both nations were engaged in a heated discussion, accusing each other of having hired the assassin.  

"This is a disaster," Tim muttered under her breath.  

Roy did not respond. His eyes were fixed on Luthor, as if trying to decipher his true intentions.  

Finally, he spoke.  

"Why should either side trust you?" Roy spoke up, scowling towards Luthor, but the he remained calm, this was beginning to irritate Tim. She was used to Bruce's fake selfless calm, or Dick's calm before the storm, but seeing this guy just made her want to punch him in the face. 

"Because," Luthor answered. "LexCorp is a company founded on a peaceful enterprise for all humanity,"

Tim let out a snort, crossing her arms as she looked at Luthor in obvious disbelief.

“Right,” she said, her tone dry and laden with sarcasm. "Because nothing says peaceful enterprise like selling weapons to both sides of a war. Real humanitarian work."

Luthor turned his head slightly toward her, his smile barely faltering before he recomposed himself again.

“I assure you-”

But Tim interrupted him before he could begin another of his rehearsed speeches.

"Save it. I've heard better lies from politicians, and at least they pretend to be subtle about it. We've got intel that links some of LexCorp's shell companies to the sale of weapons in both Rhelasia's"

"You're profiting off this war," Roy added, pointing his forefinger towards Luthor. "So, what's your angle?"

Instead of answering, Luthor only walked forward until he was standing just in front of Roy and Tim, looking fairly smug.

"War income is pocket change compared to the billions to be made investing in a peaceful United Rhelasia," Luthor answered finally. "And isn't it better to have peace? Even if that scoundrel Lex Luthor profits from it?"

"That scoundrel," Roy shot back. "May not survive to profit. Just because Cheshire failed doesn't mean that the League of Shadows will. Someone gave them a contract, and those assassins won't stop until that contract is fully completed,"

"Which does beg the question," Luthor said. "Who hired the League?"

"And whether or not you were really the target," Tim realized as her and Roy's eyes widened at the same time, both looking towards the staircase, where the leaders were still arguing with each other. "Or was your death supposed to be a way to conveniently sabotage the summit?"

Luthor didn't even blink, but his smile became a little more pronounced. "An interesting theory," he commented with apparent disinterest. "Allow me to hire you two to find out"

"Your money has blood on it," Roy grumbled, arms crossed. "And we're not here to make a buck,"

"So," Luthor chuckled, setting a hand on Roy's shoulder. "The two of you will provide your services...but for free?" he raised an eyebrow, looking almost amused. "I can live with that, young heroes,"

Luthor let out a light chuckle before walking towards the leaders of Rhelasia, leaving Tim and Roy in the midst of the political chaos that was crumbling in front of them.  

Roy exhaled in frustration.  

“I hate that guy.”

Tim adjusted her sunglasses and sighed.  

“I know.”

This was all turning into a political mess, and frankly, Tim didn't feel like getting tangled up in it anymore. Roy, however, still stood with his arms crossed, his jaw tense as he watched the scene in disgust.  

Tim leaned slightly toward him, enough so that only he could hear her.  

"I have things to do, and if I don't leave now, I'll be late. "

Roy didn't say anything right away, just gave her a sidelong glance with a raised eyebrow, clearly understanding that "stuff to do" meant she had to get back before Bruce not only grounded her for running away from home, but also for skipping her first day of school.

"Go. I'll take care of this. “

”Fine. You let me know how it turns out," Tim said before turning and walking away calmly, as if he wasn't about to disappear without a trace.  

She slipped past the security personnel and officers unobtrusively, moving with the ease of someone who knew exactly how to go unnoticed. Just a few streets away from the chaos, she found the bike Roy had hidden before the mission. Tim smiled to herself as she climbed on and started the engine.  

A few minutes later, she arrived at an inconspicuous location where the League had set up a Zeta Tube. No matter where she was in the world, the League had at least one tube in every country, and today she was especially grateful for it.

***

As soon as she emerged at Mount Justice she ran to the locker room, it was still 30 minutes before 7 a.m., so she had some time to relax her muscles. She took a slow hot shower to wash off the sweat from the fight and changed into something that would make the Bruce of her world scream to high heaven. 

She had grown accustomed to dressing like a boy after becoming Robin, it was something that came as easy as breathing. Even in her normal life a part of her never stopped looking to be what Bruce needed, so oversized t-shirts and men's pants had become the only thing in her closet. She couldn't even remember the last time she wore one of the dresses she loved to wear as a child. 

But now she had a chance to remember a little Tim, the real Tim, not the Tim Robin that seemed to dominate her life.

She had gone to the mall with Dick and Bruce, and they had both helped her pick out some clothes that although she didn't feel confident in, but like something a Tim who had never become Robin would have worn. 

It felt weird to wear a skirt, let alone black tights, but she liked the way she looked in the mirror. That, coupled with The Cure t-shirt she'd stolen from Bruce, a red flannel shirt that Dick said would look great on her, and the low black canvas sneakers she'd been wearing since day one gave her the look of a teenage girl sneaking out of the house to meet her friends in the middle of the night. 

Well, almost. Tim thought. 

Her short hair was sticking to her face and she didn't have time to dry it properly, so she just wrapped a towel around it while she treated the wound Cheshire left on her face. If anyone asked she could always say she had a problem cat at home. 

She found Superboy fixing his motorcycle as Supercycle spun around him. 

“Hey” Tim called. 

Superboy gave Tim a quick glance before noticing the wound on her face.  

“What happened to you?” he asked, his tone flat but with a slight tinge of curiosity-or concern, if Tim wanted to be optimistic.  

She shrugged, pulling the towel off her head and shaking out her damp hair.  

“A cat with a very bad attitude.”  

Superboy narrowed his eyes, clearly not buying it, but he didn't seem inclined to insist either.  

“Is your bike okay?” she asked, changing the subject.  She put a casual spin on it, knowing that was one of the few ways to keep a conversation going with him.
Superboy paused and then shot her a quick glance. It wasn't an annoyed look, but Tim picked up on the disconnect, as if he wasn't fully present for the talk.

“Yeah,” he said at last, setting the key down and wiping his hands on a rag. “But Supercycle thinks I should upgrade the front suspension.”
Supercycle made an affirmative sound and Tim smiled.  

“Well, that makes sense. If you ever need a second opinion on mechanics, I can ask Roy. Or Robin, though he'd probably suggest you paint it a flashier color before anything really useful.”  

Superboy snorted with what Tim interpreted as amusement.  

“Roy knows bows. Not bikes.”  

Tim held up her hands in surrender.  

“It never hurts to have options.”  

Superboy just shook his head and went back to focusing on his work, but Tim noticed he wasn't doing it in annoyance. It seemed more like a way to stay focused on what he was doing than anything else. Tim, meanwhile, watched him silently, not rushing to continue the conversation. She knew Superboy wasn't one to talk much, but it felt good that somehow the boy was paying attention to her.

Suddenly, the sound of approaching footsteps interrupted the stillness of the moment. Tim looked up just as Miss Martian and Aqualad were entering the garage, followed by Red Tornado and Martian Manhunter.

“Ah, there you are,” Megan said with a smile. “We were just about to look for you.”  

Tim raised an eyebrow and folded her arms.  

“Is that good or bad?”  

Megan, as if she'd heard his question without really heeding her tone, held up three paper bags. “I made you lunch.”

“Good then...” Tim replied quietly, almost to herself.

“The first day of the scholastic season carries great cultural resonance. We want to wish you well.” Manhunter tells them, as Superboy stands up. Even Kaldur gives them a
smile.

“You may wish to... change before you depart.” Kaldur offers to Megan and Superboy. 

“I mean, sure, a nice T-shirt is fine, but a bit of grease is hardly charming on a first day.” Tim interjected ironically. “Though with that symbol, you might just pass as a fanboy.”

Superboy made a grimace that told Tim all she needed to know. 

“Ah, I spent hours choosing this outfit.” Megan changes into black flats, white knee-high socks, a burgundy skirt, a white top, and a burgundy short sweater. “What do you think? Can M'gann M'orzz pass as an Earth girl now?”

“Well...” Kaldur offers hesitantly.

“Just kidding.” she assures, turning her skin tone from green to Caucasian. “Meet Megan Morse.” she does a small spin and a curtsy. “What's your new name?”

Tim, like the others, turned to look at Superboy. The conversation they had had some time ago was still going around in her mind. She couldn't understand why every time she looked at him a name popped into her head. 

Superboy's eyes go wide. “My what?” 

“I chose the name John Jones for myself.” Manhunter changes to a bald dark-skinned man in a suit. “And suggested John Smith for Red Tornado. You could be a John too.” 

“Pass.” Superboy shoots down, crossing his arms.

Tim couldn't help but smile in amusement. Then she felt his gaze fix on her, as if hesitant to share anything else.

She just raised an eyebrow and wait.

“My name is Conner,” he finally said.

Tim felt a small tightness in her chest, but still couldn't help the smile that covered her entire face. 

“That's a name that suits you,” Tim said.

From the background, Megan added, “Conner is my favorite name!” 

Her voice was cheerful, but Tim didn't hear her. She was too focused on Conner, on the way something as trivial as a name could be so meaningful. 

“But now you need a last name.”

Conner looked at her with a mixture of confusion and disinterest. “Do you have one?”

“Well, I chose Smith,” Tim said, smiling about to explain her logic in that choice. 

“Because it's the most common last name in the country, isn't it?” asked Conner with a frown. 

Tim smiled. “Yes. Sometimes, the simplest things work the best.”

The interaction felt so natural, like they'd talked to each other about all this before, like they were building something together without really thinking about it too much. 

“Maybe Kent?” J'onn offers. 

“Oh, in memory of Dr. Fate, the late Kent Nelson.” M'gann says brightly.

Tim blinks in confusion for a few seconds before frowning. 

“Of course.” J'onn murmurs. 

“Okay, sure. I guess it'd be an honor or something.” Superboy grumbles.

“Conner Kent,” Tim said to herself.

The name felt heavy and foreign on her tongue. 

She wanted to say something else, but it all took a back seat when a few moments later Megan reminded Conner that he needed to change his shirt, and he didn't hesitate to take it off and simply turn it inside out. Tim laughed, not so much at the act itself, but at Megan's dazzled, flushed, almost longing look. 

Chapter Text

“I will not be like a bird bred in a cage, I thought, too dull to fly even when the door stands open.”
― Madeline Miller, Circe.

Going back to school was boring. The first class hadn't even started and Tim already remembered why she had dropped out in the first place.

There were teenagers everywhere, everyone seemed to know each other and talked in groups or walked without looking at each other. Tim hadn't been bothered by that before, in her old life, she remembered how easy it was for her to jump from one clique to another, how easy it was to make friends and people liked her. She wasn't popular, but everyone knew who she was.

But now it all felt like someone else. The thought of having to approach these people, to talk to them as if she were one of them, as if her life wasn't extraordinary, as if she didn't know ten different ways to kill them with just one finger.

At least Conner looked as uncomfortable and out of place as she did, adjusting his brown leather jacket every chance he got and clenching his fists to release tension. Megan, on the other hand, seemed on the verge of glowing with excitement, looking at everything with a dreamy air, and it wasn't hard for Tim to imagine why. For a Martian who spent years watching Earth shows and loved American teen culture, this must be heaven.

Tim decided it was best to stay close to Conner.

Conner.

She liked the way it sounded in her head, being able to think of a name every time she saw Superboy and not having to let her brain fill that empty space every time she thought of him.

Tim almost told them they'd better go for a walk around the building to familiarize themselves with the hallways and classrooms, when a boy on a skateboard almost ran her over. Luckily, Conner (again Tim was glad she could call him that) caught him by the collar of his jacket before he hit her.

“Thank you,” she says. She's thankful Dick isn't here to see how distracted she is.

Conner gives her a quick glance, almost as if to check that she's okay, before lifting the boy even higher to let him stand at the corner of his eyes and look at him with his typical irritated face.

“Explain this.” he snarls pointing at the boy's shirt.

Tim took a quick glance at the boy who almost ran her over and understood everything. He was wearing a green T-shirt with a yellow M on it, similar to Superboy's usual T-shirt. It wasn't the best color in the world to match a superhero logo, but Tim wasn't one to talk.

Skateboard boy looked extremely confused. “Ugh, whoa, what?”

Tim wanted to intervene, because it was obvious Conner was misunderstanding everything, but a boy followed by his group stepped in front of them. He was tall, even taller than Conner, and was wearing a Superman t-shirt. As Tim looked around, she noticed that most of them were wearing superhero T-shirts.

“Should I buy a Batman T-shirt?” she wondered to herself.

“Put my man Marvin down.” the taller teen says lowly, clearly expecting a fight.

So that's why it's the M, Tim thought.

“Uh, I don't think he likes my shirt.” Marvin tries to comprehend the issue while still three feet from the ground.

"Your shirt's fine. Everyone's shirt is fine." Conner says tensely.

“Ugh.” is all Marvin can manage as he's suddenly dropped.

Tim covered her mouth so she wouldn't be seen laughing.

“Someone's fine.” said sarcastically one of the girls accompanying the tall teenager as he walked toward Conner.

Just what I was missing, thought Tim, a fight on the first day of school. Bruce is really going to kill me.

At that moment Megan decided to step in and save them all from what was surely going to be a few hours of detention.

"Hi. We're new. I'm Megan Morse. This is Conner Kent. And she is Tim Smith."

“Is Tim even a girl's name?” said the same girl from before. Tim just rolled her eyes.

"Double alliteration. I like it." Marvin tells.

Conner and the other guy keep staring at each other, although it's funny to see Conner take on someone taller than him for once, it's been enough of a show for one day. Tim's plans were simple, go mostly unnoticed. She'd had enough attention for her entire life, thank you.

“You'll have to excuse him, Conner is a little overprotective” Tim tried to intervene, but neither boy seemed to be paying attention.

Someone snaps their fingers. "Okay. Time to get to homeroom, gang." it sounded like a teacher, but Tim didn't think much of it.

Conner and the other boy stared at each other for a few more seconds before that boy walked past but not before tapping Conner's shoulder with his own. The rest of his gang followed and Tim couldn't help but roll her eyes. Another reason she hated school.

“I'd rather go back to boarding school,” Tim muttered just as Conner turned to follow the other boy. His anger issues were worse than Tim suspected. She put a hand on his arm and squeezed hard. Conner gave her a serious look, but Tim grimaced and nodded at the other people watching and that made him stop. 

Another girl appeared next to Marvin, she did look friendlier than the previous girl, though she wore her same clothes, but her hair was short and black, Tim decided that she liked her.

"Hi. I'm Wendy." she introduced herself "I was new last year, so I know how hard it is to fit in. But you look like instant Bumblebee material to me." she said looking at Megan. 

Conner, Tim and Megan looked at each other, confused. It hadn't occurred to any of them to do a little research on their school before coming.

"Cheerleaders." Wendy explained. "The Bumblebees. Tryouts are after school."

Megan gasps in realization, gaining a bright smile. "Thanks. I'll be there." then steps up to follow Wendy to get more information.

Conner is set to follow her, but Marvin puts his hand in front of him. "Dude. Facing down Mal Duncan? Fierce." he tells Conner. "Not too bright, but fierce."

And that's how Tim is left alone. It's not like she wasn't expecting it, either. Conner and Megan live together, they sure had a better relationship than she did with either of them. If she had to be honest, she wasn't very good at being friends with the rest of the team. She barely spent time with them in training and on missions she was more focused on her work, she didn't have time to socialize. Maybe it was time to try to be more sociable, if she wanted to trust her team she should open up to them, as she had done with Roy. 

The School Bell rings.

Well, she could think about that after school.

***

It was hard not to think about Roy in class, or rather, how his mission might be going. It was only her second class of the day, and Tim already wanted to escape the place and not look back. The professor was talking about linear equations, and even though she had already solved much more complicated things under pressure and with lives on the line, she was having a hard time concentrating. The professor's voice was monotone, the air in the classroom was too stuffy, and the constant clatter of pens and papers didn't help.

Next to her, a boy with half-hidden headphones was writing song lyrics in his notebook. Behind her, two girls were talking on the sly about someone who had definitely been with someone over the summer. In front, a boy was snoring guilelessly. And in the middle of it all, there she was, Tim, trying to decide if it would be too suspicious to fake a stomachache on the first day to go to the nurse's office. 

A small noise to her left caught her attention. Conner. He was there too, a few desks away. He didn't look any more comfortable than she did. His gaze was fixed straight ahead, but his furrowed brows gave away how much he was straining his patience. Every so often, he would run his hand over the back of his neck, clearly uncomfortable from wearing his shirt backwards. Tim smiled a little at that.

At least I'm not the only one who hates this.

Tim tried to make eye contact with him, but just then the professor called out her name.

“Miss Smith?”

She instantly stood up straight.

“Yes,” she replied, clueless as to what she had just been asked.

“Can you solve the exercise for us on the board?”

Perfect.

Tim just rolled her eyes as she stood up. She walked to the front like someone going to her execution, even though she solved the equation in seconds. The worst part was that she knew it. She knew all the answers. It was all too easy for her. There was no thrill in learning something new and interesting. 

She really... didn't want to be there.

***

Lunchtime came like a godsend.

The dining hall was even louder than the hallways. People shouting, trays banging tables, food of questionable quality, and a constant sound of chatter, laughter, and even an argument over which member of the Justice League was better. Tim didn't know whether to laugh or bang her head against a wall.

She saw Megan sitting with Wendy, laughing and fitting in like she was born to it. Megan was completely in her element. And Tim was completely out of it. 

Conner was leaning against a wall in the cafeteria, alone, with a soda in his hand. Tim walked over without much thought and slid in next to him, just as quietly.

“How was lunch?” she asked.

Megan had made them lunch, which consisted of a sandwich that Tim had had to throw away because Megan had tried to toast the bread but it was beyond toasted. She remembered reading an article about how eating burnt food could cause cancer cells to proliferate in the stomach, and with her luck Tim wasn't going to tempt fate.

“Inedible.” Conner passed her a still-wrapped cookie. Tim accepted it with a shrug. 

At least she wasn't the only one who'd gotten the burnt lunch, with this she confirmed that Megan wasn't against her.

“Thank you, knight in shining armor.”

Conner frowned. Tim wanted to laugh, he was still incapable of understanding jokes. 

“I'm not a knight.”

“No, you're more the type to throw cars at villains.” She smiled. Conner didn't, but something in his eyes softened.

“Hey...” he said after a moment. “You really don't mind being here?”

Tim looked around, thoughtfully.

"Bother me? I'm bothered by everything. The people. The noise. The fact that my clothes don't seem to fit the superhero theme everyone here seems to love." She paused. “But I guess I don't mind it so much if I'm not alone.”

Conner nodded slowly, as if he didn't know what to say. And that was just as well. He wasn't very good at talking, but he was there. With Tim, that was enough.

"You should eat something. You'll pass out if you just drink soda," she told him, pushing the cookie back at him.

“I'm not passing out.”

"Oh, of course you're not. I forgot you're invincible."

"Not invincible. Just... hard to faint."

Tim laughed, and though Conner didn't, his expression relaxed a little more.

“You know,” Tim said suddenly. “I think being here won't be so horrible if you were to get us in trouble before the next class, so we could leave.”

“I'm not promising anything.”

“I didn't expect you to either.”

***

The afternoon was shaping up to be even longer than the morning. After lunch, Conner and Tim walked together to their next class—not saying much, but not splitting up either. Megan caught up with them halfway there, practically buzzing with excitement about the cheerleading tryouts.

“Do you think they'll let me wear my cheerleader uniform all the time if I make the team?” she asked, beaming.

“It’d be better if they let you float down the hallways in your Martian form,” Tim said dryly. “If that happens, let me know.”

“That would be amazing,” Megan said, like she was actually considering it.

When they arrived at history class, the TV in the corner was already on. Conner was the first to grab a seat—middle row, near the window. Tim slipped in right behind him.

Once Conner sat down, only one seat remained next to him. Tim was just about to slide into it when Megan appeared behind her. With a bright, expectant smile, she took a step toward the chair beside Conner, looking at it like it was obviously hers.

Tim froze for a moment, then slowly turned to Megan and locked eyes with her. It wasn’t an aggressive look—just intense. A very clear no. A "I see what you're doing".

Megan hesitated. Her smile faltered slightly. Tim didn’t look away until she nodded subtly toward an open seat farther ahead. Megan’s expression dropped, but she walked off without a word.

Tim hadn’t done it out of spite. It was just... funny. Megan was so obvious about Conner. Did she really think no one noticed how her eyes lit up every time he spoke?

And if Tim teased her a little for that—well, who could blame her? She had to find something to amuse herself with.

On the classroom TV, Cat Grant was reporting live from the summit.

"If Lex Luthor's unknown strategy for peace fails, the two Rhelasias are looking at all-out war before morning."

Tim felt a sharp knot of frustration tighten in her gut.

I know. I knew it better than anyone here. I was there this morning. I saw how fragile everything was. I know Lex isn’t a trustworthy mediator. I know all it takes is one wrong word for everything to fall apart.

And Roy’s still there—walking among ambassadors and politicians like he belongs.

While she's here.

School. A class. A desk covered in scratched hearts and pointless doodles.

The teacher switched off the TV and turned to face the class.

“Who can tell me more about Rhelasia?”

A soft wave of murmurs rippled across the room. A few kids shrugged. The teacher looked toward the back.

“Marvin.”

“Huh!” Marvin jerked upright, clearly waking up. “Well, um, Mr. Carr, it's better than Fakeasia.”

The whole class laughed. Even Tim chuckled—low and genuine. Her head had been pounding from overthinking all day, and Marvin’s ridiculous answer broke through the tension that had been building since morning.

“Anyone else?”

Next to her, Conner spoke up in his usual monotone:

“Modern Rhelasia was created in 1855 and ruled by the Boquoon dynasty until it was divided by the great powers into North and South Rhelasia after World War II.”

Tim slowly turned to look at him. She couldn’t help it.

She stared, surprised. Sure, she’d heard him speak before—plenty of times. But not like that. Not with that level of clarity. Not with facts so precise and on-point.

Conner knows history?

It’s not like she thought he was stupid… but she hadn’t expected that. She hadn’t expected him to know so much—or to care. To be, well… brilliant.

And that threw her off a little.

“Very good,” said the teacher, clearly impressed.

“But why are they fighting?” Conner asked. “They’re all humans—I mean, Rhelasians, right?”

“Correct on both counts,” the teacher sighed.

And then Megan’s voice echoed in their heads.

"It's no different on Mars. The White Martian minority are treated as second-class citizens by the Green majority. Of course, I'm green, but that doesn't make it right."

Telepathy still startled Tim, even if she was getting used to it. This time was no different. Megan had a habit of speaking like it was a casual one-on-one conversation—even when it clearly wasn’t.

'I'm green?' Tim thought. Did she really need to point that out so hard?

She glanced sideways and caught Conner lowering his eyes. He shut them for a moment, then looked forward again with that tight-lipped expression he used when something got to him more than he wanted to admit.

Tim didn’t say anything. She just watched him from the corner of her eye. She thought about everything he must’ve been feeling. How hard it must be to fit into a world he didn’t understand. How difficult it was to understand humans. Tim had been one her whole life and still didn’t get them.

At least seeing Conner this lost made her feel a little less alone in wanting to be anywhere else.

But still… damn it. Roy was out there. And she was here. Listening to jokes about Fakeasia.

She bit the inside of her cheek.

How many more hours until the day was over?

She sighed and turned her eyes back to the front of the class.

***

When Megan approached her in the hallway with a huge smile, Tim couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow.

“My cheerleading tryout? After school. Wanna come watch me?” she asked with that sweet, naive tone that, honestly, Tim found endearing—it reminded her of a puppy.

Tim almost turned her down. She’d already had a long enough day, and the idea of watching Megan jump and smile for half an hour wasn’t exactly her ideal plan. But then she remembered what was waiting at home. Or rather… who.

She sighed inwardly. Going to the tryout meant delaying the inevitable. That, and… well, she had noticed that Conner would be there. She could pretend she was just tagging along to keep him company, right?

“Sure,” she replied with a shrug.

The bleachers were nearly empty except for they two. Conner was already sitting about ten rows up, elbows resting on his knees. Tim saw him glance up when she climbed the steps at a relaxed pace. Without saying anything, she dropped into the seat beside him, noticing the slight tilt of his head in her direction.

“I thought you were trying out,” Conner said, nodding toward the field. “You could totally do the routine.”

Tim turned her head slightly to look at him.

“Me? A cheerleader?”

“Why not?”

She snorted, amused. “Don’t get me wrong—I could out-flip all of them—but I already have enough problems without adding glitter to the mix.”

Conner raised an eyebrow.

“Besides,” she added, lowering her voice, “that’d be giving my parents exactly what they wanted. And that’s not something I’m willing to do.”

Conner glanced at her with a calm curiosity that was rare for him.

“Your parents?”

“Yeah,” she nodded, keeping her eyes on the field. “My dad played football in college and my mom was a cheerleader. They wanted me to be that kind of person. Popular, good image, smart but not too smart, elegant but not intimidating. Cheerleader, of course. It was like... their dream of the perfect daughter.”

Conner didn’t say anything, just waited.

“Don’t get me wrong,” Tim added. “I loved them. A lot. They were… different. Cold, yeah. But they cared in their own way. They taught me how to think, how to read people. They just didn’t really know how to love me. And I never wanted to follow the script they had planned for me—but I still forced myself to try to be the perfect daughter. When they died… I didn’t want to keep doing that. I didn’t want to stay someone I didn’t choose to be.”

It was so easy to open up like that to Conner. He just listened, never commented much, and Tim doubted he even really cared. But that was okay. It felt good to say it to someone who wouldn’t judge her.

Conner stared at her a moment longer than usual, like he was seeing something he didn’t quite understand.

“Must be weird,” he finally said, “having memories like that.”

There was a brief awkward silence. Tim crossed her legs and leaned against the side railing, trying to think of something to say.

“What’d you think of history class?” she asked, not too seriously.

Conner gave her a sideways glance. “What do you think?”

“I think you surprised me,” she admitted. Then she gave him a small smile, like she was examining a rare specimen. “Didn’t expect you to know so much about Rhelasia. You’re smarter than you look.”

“Thanks… I think.”

“It’s a compliment. I just… can’t help comparing you to the rest of us. You’ve got that quiet guy vibe who could crush a car with his bare hands but also quote encyclopedias.”

“The first one’s more useful,” he said with a shrug.

“Depends on who you ask,” she said, lowering her voice just as Megan began her routine.

They both turned their attention to the field. The choreography started with enthusiasm, and Tim, though she had zero interest in the routine itself, did watch the faces. Megan looked nervous but determined. The other girls watched her with a mix of approval. Tim tensed when she saw two girls slip off the field.

“I don’t like this.”

“What is it?”

“Oh no…” Tim muttered.

“What—?” Conner began, already standing.

The water hit Megan. She yelped in surprise.

And that was all it took.

“Conner, wait!” Tim saw him move, fists clenched, jaw tight. She knew he didn’t understand. To him, there was no context—just aggression toward someone he considered a friend. She reacted instinctively, stepping in front of him.

“It’s an initiation! It’s not an attack!” she shouted, but it was too late.

Conner’s momentum was stronger than restraint, and even though he tried to stop, his body kept moving forward. Tim felt the force drag her with him, and they both tumbled off the top of the bleachers.

The impact wasn’t as brutal as it could’ve been. Conner had turned mid-air to take the fall on his back, holding her tightly. But Tim still felt the shock ripple through her body and a sharp pain shoot through her left ankle.

“You okay?” Conner’s voice was tense—more worried than anything she’d ever heard from him.

“I’ve had worse,” Tim mumbled, barely opening her eyes.

“That doesn’t mean you’re okay.”

Tim blinked, surprised by the genuine tone. She looked at him, their faces close enough that she could feel the warmth of his breath.

“You okay?” she asked softly, not looking away.

“Does that matter? I was worried about you.”

Tim wanted to say 'of course it mattered', but she knew arguing with Conner wouldn’t change anything—he was Superman’s clone for a reason. They both stayed quiet for a few seconds, only reacting when they heard Megan running toward them. Tim tried to sit up slowly, but when she put weight on her left foot, she nearly collapsed again.

“Ah… damn it… ankle.”

Conner jumped up and caught her firmly, worry etched clearly in his furrowed brow—and something about that made her chest ache.

Those eyes…

“Is it twisted?” Conner asked, jaw tight.

“Probably. I’ve had worse. And better,” she tried to joke, but the tension in her face ruined it.

Tim placed a hand on his shoulder, trying to stand on her own. But as soon as her weight touched her left foot, a sharp throb shot through her leg and she let out a painful exhale.

Conner caught her before she could fall again.

“Conner!” Megan exclaimed, running up with the other girls behind her, Wendy among them.

“I’m fine, Megs,” he replied, eyes still locked on Tim.

Tim wanted to say something sarcastic, to deflect, but when she saw him move—one arm under her knees, the other at her back—she just couldn’t speak.

He lifted her with almost insulting ease. Like she weighed nothing.

“Hey, I can walk,” she said softly, a bit stubborn.

“No, you can’t. And I’m not letting you try again,” he replied, voice gentler now, but firm.

Tim glanced at his profile, the tense muscles in his jaw, the way his arm cradled her back with such care, like she might break.

And for just a second… for the briefest moment… she let herself lean into him.

“What happened?!” Wendy asked, slightly alarmed.

“She slipped trying to stop me,” Conner replied, then added with a note of guilt he didn’t even try to hide, “My fault.”

“Are you okay?!” Megan insisted, now right next to them.

Tim nodded, forcing a smile.

“More or less. But hey—congrats!” she told Megan. “You did it. You’re a Bumblebee.”

Megan opened her mouth to say something, but Conner was already walking away from the group with Tim in his arms.

“Should I wait for you guys?” Megan asked, looking around.

“No,” he replied over his shoulder. “I’m taking her home.”

***

Conner carried her and took her things from school to the Zeta Tubes. The walk was long, but quiet, which she appreciated. It wasn't that she didn’t want to talk to Conner—somehow, he calmed her. It felt comfortable and natural to talk to him. She liked that. But Tim needed time to think about how to approach Bruce without it ending in yelling and her being benched forever.

When the Zeta Tube transported her to the Cave, the familiar, suffocating silence of the Batcave greeted her. The hum of the monitors made her tense. He was there. She knew it. She could feel it even before his voice echoed, scaring off the bats.

"Did you think I wouldn’t find out?" Bruce said, turning from the console."You went with Red Arrow. You snuck out of the manor without permission and went to a summit with high-level diplomats, international surveillance, and assassins."

Tim tried to stand upright without putting all her weight on her left leg. Her ankle was burning.

"What were you thinking? That no one would notice? That there wouldn't be consequences?"

"Okay, okay, scold me all you want"Tim snapped, her voice louder than she intended, more pained than defiant. "But let me sit down first before I fall flat on my face because I twisted my damn ankle"

Bruce blinked. The shift in his expression was immediate. He moved quickly, taking her arm and helping her toward the nearest medical bay.

"What happened? How long has it been like this?"

"Just recently. It’s not serious, just hurts."

"At the summit?"

"No, after that. I went to class… I went with Megan to her cheerleader tryout," Tim grumbled, already lying down. "Conner and I… fell from the bleachers."

Bruce frowned.

"Conner?"

"Superboy. That’s the name he chose to use with civilians. Conner Kent," she clarified, before he could fire off more questions. "And yes, it was an accident. It wasn’t his fault. In fact, he carried me to the Zeta Tubes from school."

Bruce nodded slowly, but he was already pulling out his communicator.

"Alfred, come to the cave. Tim hurt her ankle."

A few minutes later, Alfred appeared with his usual composure. He kneeled before Tim without losing his calm, helped her with her shoe, examined and palpated the area, then decided a quick X-ray would be best to rule out complications. Since the cave was fully equipped for major surgeries, the X-ray took only a few minutes.

After studying the image, he nodded.

"No fracture. But it’s a considerable sprain. Rest, ice, and anti-inflammatories. I suppose I don’t need to tell you to refrain from night patrols for a while."

"Actually…" Tim interrupted, raising a finger with an innocently clever look, "According to the latest updates in functional physical therapy, complete rest and ice aren’t that recommended. In fact, early mobilization and active pain control are being promoted to prevent stiffness and loss of strength or range of motion."

Alfred looked at her like she’d grown a second head.

"Where did you learn that, miss?"

Tim lowered her gaze, fingers playing with the cuff of her shirt.

"My stepmom was a physicaltherapist," she said quietly, with a hint of sadness that didn’t go unnoticed.

Bruce stayed silent. He didn’t ask which stepmom. Didn’t comment. He just looked at her swollen ankle, then at her face. And then he stood and murmured:

"Alfred, would you fetch a pair of crutches, please?"

"That’s not necessary. I can use my other foot just fine," Tim protested automatically.

"You're not winning this argument, miss,"Alfred said, already walking away. "And if you try, I’m afraid my treatment will include a symbolic cast and a week without access to any technology."

Tim groaned but slumped back onto the stretcher once Alfred disappeared.

Bruce was still watching her, more serious than angry. But he started applying kinesiology tape to help with lymphatic drainage and reduce the swelling.

"You're still grounded," he said plainly. "But I understand now that removing your missions doesn’t help. You didn’t reflect."

Tim frowned, the heat rising up her neck. He continued speaking, calm and firm.

"You’ll stay on the team, yes. But until further notice, you’re not patrolling Gotham. Not a single night. Not even when your previous punishment ends."

"What?"

Her voice was sharper than she wanted. Bruce didn’t flinch.

"You’re going from here to school and from school back home. Period. You can only stay at the Mount when Dick is there. And from now on, I won’t take my eyes off you."

Tim stared at him, disbelief twisting her expression. Each word felt like an accusation he wasn’t even trying to disguise.

"Seriously?" she spat. "That’s what you’re doing? Turning me into a prisoner again?"

Bruce didn’t blink. His jaw was a firm line.

"And I don’t like Roy."

That final line was the spark. The lighter that lit the fuse Tim had been desperately trying not to ignite.

"That’s not fair!" she snapped, forgetting her ankle entirely in the face of the anger pounding in her chest. "Robin has made mistakes too! And you don’t put him in a bubble every time he screws up!"

Bruce’s eyes narrowed.

"With Dick," he said, low but firm, "I knew that if something went wrong, you’d be there to watch his back. You were at the Mount or here, but always alert. He wasn’t alone."

Tim opened her mouth, but the words died.

"In your case," Bruce continued, shaking his head slightly, "If something had happened to you at that summit, if you hadn’t come back… no one would’ve done anything. No one would’ve even known you were there."

Silence.

The entire cave seemed to freeze—even the bats had stopped screeching. Tim swallowed hard, anger still rising in her throat, but something deeper trembled in her chest. Something softer.

"That’s what Roy was for," she said, raising her voice. "I trust him. He would’ve protected me. I know he would. And besides, I can take care of myself"

Bruce didn’t answer immediately. He just looked at her.

Then his eyes dropped.

To her swollen ankle.

And then back to her face.

There was no reproach in his gaze—only that silent judgment that made Tim feel like a twelve-year-old again, trapped in a memory too real: a cold hallway, a bandaged arm, and the promise that everything would be fine even though nothing was.

She blushed and looked away with a grunt.

"That doesn’t count," she muttered. "It was a civilian accident. Nothing to do with work."

Bruce exhaled. It wasn’t quite a laugh. But it had the shadow of tired irony.

"I understand that you trust Roy," he said, calmer now, though his voice remained heavy. "But I don’t."

That one hurt.

Not because of Roy. Not really. Because that sentence wasn’t about Roy. It was about her. About what Bruce couldn’t delegate. About the responsibility he felt for her—one that, at times, left no room to see her as anything but a duty.

"I don’t trust your safety to anyone else," he added more quietly, "And it’s not because you’re not capable, Tim. I know what you can do. But it’s my responsibility. And I don’t trust anyone else to look after my daughter."

Tim blinked.

The sentence hung in the air—heavy and weightless all at once, like it didn’t quite belong to this moment.

She didn’t respond. She didn’t even breathe.

Bruce said nothing more either, as if realizing, just as the words left his mouth, what he had said. His shoulders tensed. His face shifted into panic.

Tim’s eyes searched his, not sure what to feel. She had dreamed of something like this. Longed for it, but never aloud. Not in this world. Not with this Bruce. Her throat tightened. She didn’t know whether to laugh, cry, or just stay still and process.

Luckily, at that moment, footsteps interrupted the tension.

Alfred appeared with impeccable timing, as if he had calculated the exact second to keep something from overflowing. In his hands, a pair of crutches adjusted perfectly to Tim’s height.

"Pardon the interruption," he said with unshakable British courtesy, though his eyes scanned them both like he’d read the air perfectly. "Miss, try these. They should allow you to move with minimal effort."

Tim took them, relieved—more for the emotional reprieve than the mobility. She stood carefully, leaning on the crutches, and let out a slow breath.

Bruce seemed to recover some of his composure, folding his arms again.

"Dick’s upstairs. He wanted to hear about your first day of school," he said, his tone calmer, almost neutral, but with the subtext she knew too well.

Tim looked at him for a moment, understanding exactly what that was. An escape route. A way of saying “we’ll talk later” without admitting how much they both needed time.

She nodded.

"He can ask whatever he wants," she said, starting to move toward the stairs, clumsy but uncomplaining. "With luck, he won’t ask to do homework together. I’m still in denial."

Alfred offered a slight smile.

"I’ll make tea, in case Young Master Dick needs comfort as well."

When Tim disappeared toward the elevator, Bruce stood watching the empty space she had just left. He said nothing.

But Alfred, who knew him better than anyone, spoke gently.

"Sir… that was a good first step."

Bruce only nodded. Barely.

***

A few days had passed since the accident on the bleachers. Tim had stopped using crutches at home, but still brought them to school. Not because she exactly needed them—thanks to that damn Lazarus Pit, her recovery was faster than anyone wanted to admit—but because pretending to be a normal person meant keeping up appearances. And unlike superheroes, regular teenagers didn’t heal a sprain in two days.

She walked slowly, a crutch under one arm, leaning on it just enough to keep the story straight. Beside her, Conner carried her books without being asked. It was like something had shifted since that day—he’d become more… attentive. He didn’t talk much more than before, but the way he looked at her—more direct, more present—said plenty.

He feels guilty, she decided.

“I have a mission in a few days,” he said suddenly, as they neared they next class. It was one of the few they didn’t share with Megan, and Tim always appreciated those quiet moments alone with him.

She raised an eyebrow, curious. “And you need my help? Planning to infiltrate a top-secret base with unhackable security protocols?”

Conner gave her a sideways glance without breaking stride.

“I need to go blonde.”

Tim blinked.

And then, as if her brain had thrown the image at her immediately, she burst out laughing so hard she had to stop and brace herself against a locker to keep from falling over.

“Blonde?!” she repeated between laughs. “Conner, that’s illegal! Your eyebrows are not ready for that fate!”

Conner shrugged, feigning seriousness. “It’s for infiltration. Apparently I look a lot like some criminal. I just need to look… less like me.”

Tim kept laughing, covering her mouth as she tried not to attract more attention than necessary. Some students glanced their way as they passed, but right now, she didn’t care about the stares.

“Okay, okay… I’ll help you,” she said at last, wiping a tear from her eye. “Not because you asked. I’ll do it for science. This needs to be documented.”

“There’s no school tomorrow,” he mentioned, a very casual way of inviting her to spend the day with him.

“Perfect. We can go shopping. But I need to run some tests on your hair first. I have to know if the dye sticks or if your Kryptonian genes reject it… or, worst case, if I’ll need to mix the bleach with kryptonite dust.”

Conner frowned.

“Was that a joke?”

“Wanna risk finding out?”

The smile she gave him was enough to make him lower his head slightly, almost smiling.

“But there’s a small detail,” Tim added as they started walking again. “I have to talk to B. After the last ‘accident,’ he’s still processing the idea of letting me go out without a leash.”

“So?”

“So I’ll let you know tonight.”

They reached the classroom door just before the bell rang. They took their usual seats in the back, side by side. The hum of the class surrounded them, but in that moment, Tim didn’t hear anything else.

For days now, there had been something she couldn’t put into words. A feeling that kept growing stronger. Every time she spent time with Conner—whether walking in silence, talking, or just sharing space—she felt like she was getting closer to understanding something her memory hadn’t returned yet.

Like a part of herself that was broken slowly slid back into place when he was around.

It was like holding a puzzle piece she hadn’t known was missing.

And Conner…

Conner made her want to stay long enough to finish putting it together.

Chapter Text

“We’re here now because we chose each other. In the end, it’s always been about choice.”
― T.J. Klune, Ravensong

The door to Bruce's study was ajar, and the faint sound of the keyboard was the only indication that someone was inside. Tim stood in front of the door longer than expected, knowing full well that Bruce was probably already aware of his presence and was just waiting for him to make the first move. Tim knew she had to knock soon, before peeking through the crack became awkward and uncomfortable. But talking to Bruce—any Bruce—in the studio was always so formal, so important, that she couldn't help but feel her hands getting a little sweaty. 

“The worst that can happen is that he says no,” she reminded herself and knocked twice.

“Come in.”

Bruce didn't look at her, he just kept typing for a few more seconds until he closed the file with a click and turned in his chair, all with that mechanical precision he had even in the most human moments.

“Is dinner ready?” Bruce asked, removing the glasses that Tim had noticed he wore from time to time. 

“Not quite yet,” Tim replied, approaching and sitting down in the empty chair in front of the desk. 

“I see,” Bruce smiled at her, and the image of the serious Bruce that Tim had in her mind disappeared. “Did you finish your homework? If so, you could help Dick with his. He's good at math, but he's still struggling with chemistry, and although I told I would help him, my work took longer than expected.”

“I don't think he's having any problems. I saw him talking to Alfred in the kitchen. He's waiting for the cookies to be ready before he can steal one.” She shrugged. “But actually... that's not why I came.”

Bruce raised an eyebrow. It was his way of inviting her to speak. 

“Conner asked me for help with a mission,” she finally said, like someone throwing a stone into a lake and waiting for the first ripple.

Bruce didn't react. Bad sign.

“It's something simple,” she continued. “Minor infiltration. Nothing complicated. But he needs help preparing... since there's no school tomorrow, we could work on it here. In Gotham.”

Bruce frowned.

“You want a kid with Kryptonian-level metahuman powers to come to Gotham?”

“Technically, he's my age,” Tim said with a brief smile. “Besides, other metahumans have been here before. I know Dick and Wally go to the movies once a month. And if it's in Gotham, at least you'll know exactly where I am.”

Silence. The logic was sound. Reasonable enough that Bruce couldn't refute it with his usual automatic refusal. But he didn't agree either.

Small steps, Tim had to take small steps. 

“It would only be for a few hours. No powers. No heroes. Just helping him with his disguise. 

“And after that?”

“Maybe a milkshake, but after that, he leaves.” Small steps, Tim repeated to herself. She could lie a little about the chronology of events to gain sympathy. It wasn’t the first time she’d done it, and if it worked on the other Bruce, of course it had to work on this one.

Bruce watched her for a few more seconds. Tim could see the gears turning in his head, weighing the pros and cons. He was making a mental list, and Tim hoped that her good behavior over the last few days would help.  

Finally, Bruce nodded, very slightly. 

“All right.” 

Tim blinked. That had been easier than he expected.

“So he can come to the mansion?”

Bruce's expression changed in less than a blink. Almost as if Tim had asked him if she could invite an A-list villain to dinner.

“No,” he said. Emphatically.

“Bruce...”

“You're asking me to reveal our identity. Do you realize that? One thing is him coming to Gotham, but you're asking for a lot, Tim.”

Tim didn't flinch or back down. She stood her ground.

“Wally and Roy know. And they're not nearly as discreet as Conner. Besides... he's different. He didn't ask to know our identity or even come to Gotham. He just needs help. And he trusts me."

Bruce narrowed his eyes.

“Do you trust him?”

“Completely,” Tim replied without hesitation.

And as soon as the word left her lips, she surprised herself.

Where did that confidence come from?

She and Conner had only known each other for a few months. They hadn't started spending more time together until a few weeks ago, and even then, it was all recent. Fragile, in theory. Tim didn't even know if Conner had a favorite food (although something in her head told her Big Belly Burger and rhubarb pie), or if he had a favorite color (probably blue, for some reason she couldn't explain).

Conner was almost a stranger. But what Tim did know about him was that when they were together, she didn't have to explain herself, or get caught up in complicated conversations, she didn't have to pretend. And that, in her world, was rare. Valuable.

Bruce watched her, almost as if judging every second of that silence.

“Why?” he insisted.

Tim didn't hesitate. 

“Because when you're with Conner, you know there's no double meaning. No calculation. No mask. What you see is what you get, even when he doesn't know who he's supposed to be. And because,” she added, her voice lowering slightly, “if he wanted to hurt me, he wouldn't be asking me for help with his hair. He could have done that a long time ago.”

Bruce didn't respond, but something in his expression softened. He didn't relax, because even though Bruce Wayne could show more than two expressions, Batman didn't do that... but he had heard her. And that was enough.

So Tim allowed herself that small victory.

“And besides,” she continued, delivering the final blow. “He has Superman's DNA. And if there's one thing I remember very well, it's that you trust Superman.”

Bruce didn't respond immediately. He just looked at her, as if Tim were five years old and asking for permission to climb onto the roof and try to fly.

And maybe, in a way, that was it.

After a few seconds that seemed longer than they were, Bruce leaned back slightly in his chair.

“Just the first floor. No cave. He can only be where Alfred allows him to be. If he doesn't ask who we are, don't tell him. And if he does ask, don't tell him either.”

Tim nodded immediately. She had to bite her cheek to keep a satisfied smile from forming on her face.

“Thanks.”

Tim stood up, but before leaving, she paused for a moment.

“Oh. And I'll need a room that's close to a bathroom. We're going to be working with dye.”

Bruce didn't even ask, just looked at her for a moment longer, as if gauging how much he would regret it later.

“If you make a mess, you clean it up.”

***

Helping Conner had been much more fun than Tim had expected. At first, of course, she had offered to help just to tease him—the mental image of a blond Superboy was worth every second invested—but as the day progressed, Tim realized that, without meaning to, she was having a good time. Ridiculously good.

She took Conner to the mall under the pretext of getting hair dye, but as soon as they walked in, the original plan went out the window.

“Let's do this right,” Tim said, turning toward a store. “I rarely get to go out alone, and there are some things a girl can't buy without adult supervision.”

Conner looked at her, confused. “Weren't we going to the hair salon?”

“We'll get there. First, I have a debt to my twelve-year-old self.”

She didn't explain further. Tim just dragged him with her to a wall lined with skateboards, smiling enthusiastically as if it were Christmas morning. It had been too long since she'd been on one of those, and although logic told her that she might need Alfred's approval to bring something that could scratch the floors of the mansion, the rest of her couldn't wait any longer.

Conner, to both their surprise, didn't complain. He just followed her, curious, while Tim compared boards, wheels, and designs with an energy that needed no justification. When she finally chose one—black with red and yellow flame details—Conner simply said, “That looks very you.”

The comment made her smile more than she thought it would.

Afterward they went to the hair product store, where Tim threw every decent blonde dye she could find into the basket. Platinum, ash, gold, peroxide, even one with silver highlights 'just in case'. 

In any case, she could always play a little joke on Roy with whatever dye was left and swap his shampoo for platinum blonde. His scream would surely be heard from Star City to Gotham. 

Conner watched everything with a mixture of resignation and distrust.

“Can't you just choose one?”

“And waste this scientific opportunity? Never.”

Of course, they didn't stop there. Tim decided that if they were going to do this—spend a day shopping—they were going to do it the right way. They had already started, nothing told them they had to stop. Besides, Conner needed more than just a hair color change. So she dragged him to a clothing store.

“I just need the hair to infiltrate,” he complained. 

“You need more than black T-shirts,” Tim said, pulling out a red plaid shirt that looked familiar and putting it on him without asking permission.

“Black goes with everything,” he protested, but he didn't take it off.

Tim also took advantage of the situation and chose a few things for herself. New jeans, a light jacket, and—because no one was going to stop her—a pair of absurdly large sunglasses that she wore for the rest of the trip.

Bruce's black card was the best thing that had happened to her in a long time, and Tim had no intention of giving it back. 

At the end of the day, they ended up sitting in front of an ice cream shop, each with a milkshake in hand. Tim took a sip of her pistachio milkshake and leaned back against the seat with a satisfaction she didn't bother to hide.

Conner sipped his strawberry milkshake, taking small sips as if it were going to bite him at any moment.

“You know what?” Tim said, watching him out of the corner of her eye, “this wasn't so bad.”

“So bad?” Conner frowned even more than usual, if that was possible. 

“Almost fun.”

“Almost?”

She shrugged with feigned indifference.

When they finished their milkshakes, Tim set her empty cup on the table and stretched as if she had just completed an important mission. Her back cracked with the movement, which delighted her. Lately, Dick kept mentioning that Tim looked like a cat because she needed to stretch so much, but if he spent as much time sitting still as she did, he would surely be worse. Her days of benching were taking its toll.  

“So... are we going to try the dyes in one of the public restrooms at the mall?” Conner asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“A public restroom?” Tim replied, as if her common sense had just been insulted. “Please, Conner. You're offending me.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“Then where? Are we going back to the mount?”

Tim just smiled. 

“Follow me.”

She said nothing more. She stood up, grabbed her bag with the dye and the clothes, and walked toward the parking lot without waiting for him to follow. Conner narrowed his eyes but said nothing more before following her. 

As soon as they passed through the automatic doors and stepped out into the parking lot, Conner stopped.

“That one...?” He pointed to the shiny black car waiting for them at the curb. It was discreet in design, with no obvious markings and tinted windows, but it had that unmistakable air of 'expensive car belonging to someone important'.

It took her a week of doing Dick's homework for him to help convince Alfred to play along and mess with Conner, although Tim was pretty sure Alfred was doing it because of that playful streak Dick always said he had. The almost imperceptible smile Tim had seen on his face when they asked for his help was the confirmation she needed. 

“What's going on?” he asked, more seriously this time.

“Conner,” she replied without turning around, “do you want to dye your hair or not?”

He frowned, but kept walking.

When the front door of the car opened, Alfred stepped out as the perfect image of what a butler should be. He was wearing driving gloves, of course, and had pulled a chauffeur's cap out of somewhere, and of course he had his usual expression of English formality.

“Good afternoon, Miss Tim,” Alfred greeted her with a nod. Then turned his attention to Conner. “Young master Kent.”

Conner blinked.

“Uh… hello.”

Tim gave him a gentle push and moved him forward. Alfred opened the back door for them and shared a quick wink with Tim. 

“Relax,” Tim said as they both settled into the back seat. “He doesn't bite. Well, not without reason.”

The interior of the car smelled of expensive leather and something slightly citrusy, like absolute cleanliness. Conner sat carefully, as if he might ruin something just by being there.

“This car is from...?”

“Yes.”

Tim took off her sunglasses and dropped it in her lap, turning slightly to look at him better as the car began to move.

“Relax, Boy of Steel. I'm not taking you to a trap.”

“I'm not nervous.”

Tim just raised an eyebrow.

As they drove, the city began to fade away, gradually replacing the turbulent and noisy neighborhoods of downtown with greener areas, quieter neighborhoods, and finally private roads flanked by tall trees. Conner watched everything with his face almost pressed against the window, like a child on his first country outing.

The car turned onto the long driveway leading to the main entrance, the iron gates slowly opened, and the perfectly manicured garden of Wayne Manor appeared before them, stretching out like a fragment of another world.

Conner's mouth fell open, clearly surprised.

“That's not a house. That's...”

“A mansion,” Tim finished, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“I've never seen anything like it.”

“I figured, most people haven't.”

Conner looked away from the window to look at her again. The look on his face alone was worth everything Tim had gone through to bring him to Gotham. 

“And you live here?” Tim shrugged. 

“For now.” 

“But are you sure I can be here?”

She rolled her eyes.

“I brought you here. Trust me.”

The car stopped in front of the front door. Alfred opened the door with his usual meticulous precision.

“If you would be so kind, the young master is training in the east wing. I would appreciate it if you would stay away until he has finished his exercises.”

“Understood,” said Tim, getting out first and extending his hand to help Conner do the same. “We'll take the guest room on the first floor, the one near the sunroom.” 

“Of course,” replied Alfred. “I'll bring you something to eat in a moment.”

Tim had been living in Wayne Manor for years, and not only that, she clearly remembered that her whole life had been spent surrounded by luxuries that would make most people faint. For her, high ceilings, antique stained glass windows, elegant paintings from past generations, the smell of polished wood, and gleaming floors were normal. But she could understand why Conner's shoulders tensed as soon as they set foot inside.

“It's just a house, you know?” she said, walking alongside him through the main hall without paying too much attention to the things that seemed to surprise Conner.

“The only house I know is Wally's,” Conner muttered, staring at one of the large stained-glass windows depicting Gotham's early days as if he expected it to fall on him. “And it's nothing like this.”

“It doesn't matter if the houses are different,” Tim replied, her tone softening. “In the end, it's not the size that makes a house a home. It's the people who live in it."

She paused for a moment, letting her gaze wander over the place she knew better than any other in the world.

“And this place may seem a little big... cold... and maybe, yes, a little lonely. But where I come from, everyone who passed through here ended up finding a way to call this place home.”

Conner didn't respond, so Tim decided to leave the subject there before she had to start telling Conner more about her old life. So she just nudged him gently with her shoulder before continuing down the hallway.

“Come on. I want to see if platinum blonde suits you before Robin finds out we're here and decides to join us.” 

***

Tim had discovered a couple of things about himself. 

She really liked blonde hair. 

Seeing Conner with blonde hair had brought back memories she didn't know were there. A bright smile, mischievous eyes, and hair so blonde it was dazzling, bringing only confusing emotions to her chest every time she tried to remember the face and put a name to it. She remembered meals on rooftops, stolen moments, and kisses watching the sunset. She remembered soft, sweet lips, small hands weathered by years of fighting and training. She remembered the pain of loss and betrayal. 

Tim didn't want to remember anymore. 

She was happy to have helped Conner, but she preferred him with his original black hair.

A few days later, when he returned to school as his old self, Tim ran her hand through his hair, ruffled it, and begged him to please stay that way forever. Conner mumbled something she didn't understand and stood in the middle of the hallway. 

Yes, she thought, I want things to stay this way, no more surprise memories for a while, please, brain. 

The good thing was that Tim's behavior had been exemplary, and Conner's visit to the mansion (and how well Alfred had spoken on her behalf after Tim tidied everything up and made sure the guest room was sparkling clean like a museum) had earned her small privileges that allowed her to stay sane. Maybe Tim still couldn't patrol Gotham, but Bruce was already letting her help solve cases and use the Batcomputer without supervision.

That, in the grand scheme of things, was a big step forward.

So when Bruce had to go to a very important meeting with Superman and Wonder Woman and left her in the cave waiting for Dick to finish his homework so they could go to Mount together, Tim had two options. She could obey Bruce and wait for Dick, or she could escape to Star City, pay Roy a quick visit, and help him with the case they had been talking about the night before that seemed to be driving him crazy. 

If she wanted to keep her privileges, it was better to go with the first option, even if Dick took forever with his English essay. Gotham Academy was a bitch when it came to homework, and Tim was grateful she never had to set foot there again.

“Ready to go? If we leave Wally with Megan unsupervised for too long, he'll embarrass himself more than usual,” Tim says when she hears Dick approaching, already in his Robin suit.

“Supervision or not, he'll embarrass himself anyway,” Dick gives her that sideways smile that Tim has come to adore. 

“You're right, but I don't want to miss it.” Tim adjusts her utility belt so that it sits firmly at her waist. She heads toward the Zeta Tube in the cave, but Dick stops her.

“I thought we could take the Tube in the city.” 

“The one in the alley?” Dick nods. “Why? We have one here and it works fine.” 

“Artemis uses that tube. I've run into her at the academy these past few days...” 

“And you feel like you've been too passive about finding out who she really is? I thought you liked her.” 

Bruce told them how he had financed a full scholarship to Gotham Academy for Artemis, and from the first day of school, Dick hadn't left her alone. He had arrived very excited that day to show Tim the photo he had taken with Artemis and how they would laugh about it in time. Tim didn't understand (and didn't want to know) if Dick had a crush on Artemis or if he was really that annoying. She was leaning more toward the second. 

She prayed it was the second option. 

“Fine, but we're going on your bike. I don't want to drive.” 

“Are you're asking an unlicensed minor to drive a modified motorcycle through the streets of one of the cities with the most traffic accidents in the country?.” 

“Yes.” 

“That's why you're my favorite sister.”

“I'm your only sister.” Tim rolled her eyes under the mask. They had had the same conversation hundreds of times. 

“Exactly!” 

Thanks to Gotham's hellish traffic, it took longer than Dick would have liked. As soon as they hid the bike in the alley behind a closed dry cleaner's, Robin checked the last recorded access to that Zeta Tube on his wrist computer. Confirming that Artemis had not yet used it, he slipped into the shadow of an old phone booth that served as a cover for the Zeta.

“Come on, hide here. If we see her show up, I want to observe before she notices us,” he whispered excitedly, motioning to Tim.

“Are we really stalking a teammate?” Tim raised an eyebrow under her mask, crossing her arms, but settled down next to him anyway. 

“It's visual reconnaissance. Field training. Observation technique,” he replied, with exaggerated seriousness that clearly convinced no one.

“It's stalking, and Alfred would disapprove,” Tim muttered, flinching when a cat meowed near the alley. “Besides, what are you hoping to see?”

“You don't understand. I'm testing a theory.”

“Something like she knows that you know that she knows that you know she's not Green Arrow's niece? Fascinating.”

Dick smiled, amused.

“Your sarcasm only reinforces my hypothesis.”

Tim rolled her eyes and leaned against the brick wall, crossing her arms.

“Just for this, I'm going to tell Megan that you liked the curry she made the other day and that you want more.”

“Cruel,” said Dick, feigning hurt. “After all we've been through together.”

“Like trauma, guilt, and insomnia. Yes, I remember it fondly.”

They shared a silent smile, the kind of connection only those who had grown up in the shadow of the bat could have. 

Tim exhaled.

“How much longer are we going to be here?”

“Until she shows up. Or until Wally screws up on Mount, sends me a message, and we have to save him.”

“She's lucky Megan doesn't understand human flirting, or hints.”

“Definitely.”

They heard footsteps approaching and both fell silent instantly. The dim light of the alley was enough to reveal the silhouette of Artemis, already dressed in her suit, walking purposefully toward the old phone booth.

Dick took Tim's hand briefly and tapped out Morse code, asking her to let him out first.

Tim nodded slightly.
 

“Artemis?” Robin asks, appearing from the shadows. Tim rolled her eyes amusedly, so theatrical. 

She jumps in her skin, gasping. “Robin! I uh...” 

“How random that you're in Gotham City, instead of Star City where your Uncle, Green Arrow, lives?” Robin taints as if he knows something.

“I'm-uh, here to see my cousin. She was in the state spelling bee. Here... In Gotham... City.” she stumbles over the faulty lie.

“C-O-O-L. Did she W-I-N?” Robin asks, purposefully spelling out the words.

Artemis looks at him annoyed. “N-O.” 

“D-R-A-G.” Robin responds, unaffected.

That was the moment Tim was waiting for.

From the shadows, she took a few steps toward the light, appearing next to Robin with her torso completely covered by her cape and one eyebrow raised. She hoped had done a decent job of imitating Batman by being a bitch. 

“Your cousin lost? How sad. I would have spelled ‘suspicious’ with no problem.”

“You two were hiding there all this time?”

“Hiding? What an ugly word,” Dick commented. “Let's just say we were strategically positioned near an access point to the Zeta Tube system.” 

“We didn't expect to find someone who's not from the city here,” Tim added. “Batman doesn't like intruders, you know, very overprotective.”

“Lucky for you, we're not Batman. We're a little more permissive when it comes to strangers.” 

“You guys are really unbearable.”

“Thank you” they both said in sync.

“Can we go now?” snorted Artemis.

Dick took a theatrical bow and pointed to the phone booth. 

“Ladies first.”

“Your town. You go.” Artemis says sharply, putting her hands on her hips.

He just shrugs and opens the doors with a creak. 

“And you're not going to say anything?” asked Artemis, looking at Tim, who was already typing on the Zeta Tube panel.

“I'm too busy wondering why you came all this way if it bothers you so much to have anyone notice” she replied without looking up.

“...And there I thought you were the nice one” Artemis muttered.

“No one has ever said that” replied Tim, just before the light from the Zeta Tube enveloped her. 

***

Everything had gone to hell far too quickly.

One second, Tim was in a Gotham alley, and the next she was on Mount Justice, gasping and muscles coiled, fighting robots that shot fire.

She’d barely had time to react and dodge a burst of fire that would have burned her alive. She felt the heat brush her face as if someone had turned on a stove right in front of her, and by pure reflex she dropped to the ground, rolling to one side just in time.

She remembered something like this from before—Batman called it training. But there was a difference between extreme drills and nearly dying, and this was definitely the second.

“What the hell is going on?!” Artemis shouted.

“If this is a drill, I want to file a formal complaint,” Tim muttered through gritted teeth, pulling three batarangs from her belt and throwing them in a fan. They vanished into the smoke and flames.

“This isn’t training!” Robin shouted, dodging a fireball.

The three of them sprinted down a corridor, weaving through blasts of fire and clouds of smoke. Then a wall of water surged out of nowhere, like a tsunami erupting from the walls.

The liquid wall slammed into them, sweeping them aside like rag dolls. Tim managed one gasp of air before the water engulfed her completely. She slammed into the floor, then a wall, then something that was probably Artemis.

The torrent stopped as suddenly as it had started. The three hit the floor, coughing and gasping. Wasting no time, they scrambled to their feet and ran toward the gym—but a roar behind them made them spin around: a fire tornado carved its way down the hall, devouring everything in its path.

Tim felt the heat at her back as the doors swung shut behind them.

“Robin to team,” he said firmly, tapping the earpiece in his ear. “Do you copy? Aqualad! Are you okay?”

Tim glanced at the metal doors. They wouldn’t hold much longer against those robots. They were running out of time.

“Showers!” she yelled, pointing ahead.

They sprinted forward and flipped on the faucets. Water blasted out, forming a dense curtain. It might not save them completely, but any help was better than none.

Robin, face taut, returned to his communicator. “Robin to Batcave. Override R-G-4,” he ordered. “Cave calling Justice League: H-O-J-slash-Watchtower; B-0-1. Priority: Ray.”

Silence.

Artemis nocked another arrow while Robin shook his head.

“At least the water’s helping,” he murmured, positioning himself beside them in the center of the room.

Just then, the pipes began to tremble with a low hum.

“Rob…” Tim started, taking a step back.

And then it exploded. Pipes burst everywhere, launching jets of water as if a dam had broken inside the gym. The floor flooded in seconds.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Tim said, soaked to her knees and still in disbelief.

But then Tim remembered her very outdated cell phone. Communications were completely blocked, but that phone could barely play Snake. That worked in her favor.

Tim pulled it out of her belt loop—one of the few things not yet completely soaked—turned on the screen, and quickly typed a message.

Mount Justice. Under attack. Communicators down. Contact the League. NOW.

She barely had time to stash it before the room flooded.

Water swallowed them. Tim held her breath with trained calm, eyes scanning for Robin or Artemis.

Robin was the first to move. He swam to one wall and pulled out one of his explosive discs. It detonated, shaking the room and creating a breach that forced the water out with them. They coughed as they struggled to refill their lungs. But there was no time to recover; metallic footsteps echoed in the distance, so they ran down the corridor toward the kitchen.

“We need to lose them,” Robin said.

Tim scanned the room and her eyes landed on the stove. “The air vent!”

“Go!” Robin ordered, but he stayed in the hallway by a control panel.

Artemis dashed for the stove, leaped over the kitchen island, and climbed into the duct with enviable agility.

Tim wasn’t leaving without Dick. She’d never leave him behind.

So she covered his back while he downloaded the ventilation schematics. It wasn’t long before they heard something coming down the corridor.

“Robin, now!” Tim hissed urgently.

Robin nodded and launched himself into the duct. Tim followed immediately.

They crawled through the narrow shafts until they reached the boiler room, the hot, stifling air making every movement a struggle. But they didn’t get a second’s rest before explosions started rocking the place with each step.

Robin reacted quickly: he threw one of his explosive discs at the nearest wall, creating an improvised exit. All three dove through just before everything collapsed behind them.

Tim dropped to her knees once they were finally safe.

She forced herself to inhale, counting to three.

She hadn’t felt her heart pound this hard in ages, reverberating against her ribs as if it wanted to shatter her chest from the inside. She hadn’t felt her life hanging by a thread… or worse, someone she loved.

She felt a haze forming at the edges of her vision.

No. Not now.

Tim knew what it was.

I thought it only happened when I was angry, she thought.

But no.

Apparently the Pit—that deep, raging darkness she feared more than any enemy—could open whenever her emotions became too intense.

And here she was, adrenaline surging, heart about to burst from her chest, and something hunting them, trying to kill them.

If they didn’t stop this soon, Tim didn’t want to think about what else could happen, how much longer she could resist being consumed by the Pit’s madness.

She felt Robin move beside her. He opened a control panel set into the wall and quickly connected his Hologlove. Within seconds, he was jamming the movement and heat sensors of Mount Justice. Cautious. Smart. Exactly what you’d expect from him. Tim felt a surge of pride.

“And I ask again, who is the enemy?” Artemis snapped, annoyed.

But her anger wasn’t entirely aimed at some foe. She was taking it out on them, and Tim didn’t like that at all. She was tired of people using their frustration as an excuse to lash out at her. Tired of being the target of what they couldn’t control.

She opened her mouth to respond, sarcasm on the tip of her tongue… but Robin beat her to it, as if he knew it wasn’t the time.

“Let’s check the security cameras,” he said, bringing up the feeds from before their arrival.

Four screens appeared, four different angles.

Tim felt a knot in her stomach.

Where had the others been when the attack started? Why hadn’t anyone answered?

The first screen showed Wally, Conner, Megan, and Sphere. The bike Conner had been tinkering with for days still wouldn’t run the way he wanted, and it looked like super-genius Wally had offered to help—he was crouched beside the bike, asking Megan for tools.

But Tim didn’t care much about that, except to be impressed by Wally’s obvious knack for mechanics. She made a mental note to spend more time with him and learn.

Meanwhile, Conner stood a few feet away from the bike, arms crossed as always, until Kaldur joined them.

“I’ve been meaning to ask, any trouble juggling schoolwork with your responsibilities here?” he asked curiously.

“No,” Conner replied quickly.

“Juggling is one of my many talents,” Wally said proudly with a slight chuckle. “Socket wrench.”

M’gann levitated it to Wally with her telekinesis as she spoke to Kaldur. “Daily cheerleading practice has been challenging,” she admitted, then turned to Kaldur to reassure him. “But my first loyalty is always to the Team. This Team, not the Bumblebees.”

“And Tim? How’s she doing in school?”

What?

M’gann tilted her head.

“She doesn’t really hang out with our friends,” she began softly, “but—”

“She’s fine,” Conner cut in, his voice almost sharp.

“Artemis started school a few days ago. Think she’ll have trouble maintaining her loyalties?” Kaldur asked.

Artemis glared at the screen.

“Nah, she’ll manage,” Wally said as he stood. “I mean, how much more hostile and annoying can she—” The camera and audio cut out.

“What happened?” Artemis asked, worried.

“The explosion destroyed that camera,” Dick replied, a steel edge to his voice. “I’ll find another angle.”

Tim leaned in, eyes fixed on the screens as Robin switched feeds. The new angle showed the water pooling inside the Cave, forming three torrents that pounded the dry floor as if they had wills of their own—just before the camera died.

The next showed the four team members rising to their feet, ready to fight… but it didn’t last long. The water overwhelmed them, then everything went black.

“Wait… is that…?” Tim leaned over Robin, searching for a pattern, something.

Robin switched to the final angle. It showed Kaldur and M’gann climbing the stairs, water raging behind them, until a burst of fire consumed the camera.

“That’s it…” Dick murmured. “All four are dead.”

Artemis stared at him, horrified.

“The cameras!” he corrected himself, voice trembling. “I meant… the cameras. I’m sure the others—”

Tim studied him closely. The way Robin forced himself to stay calm. The same way she had.

But Tim knew him better. The way his hands trembled so slightly that unless you were specifically looking for it you could miss it. And she was. She’d seen Dick do the same for years. She still remembered their time during the earthquake and how hard they’d fought to survive, how after each night his hands would shake simply at the thought of going back into that no-man’s land with only her for company.

Tim told herself the two Dicks were different, but their body language remained almost identical in many ways.

“Just give me a sec to find the fastest route to the hangar,” Robin added, his usual tone returning.

Artemis sank against one of the tunnel walls.

“Yeah, they’re fine,” she murmured. “They’ve all got superpowers. They can handle anything.”

Tim looked away. It wasn’t true. Not entirely. She’d seen near-gods fall. She’d seen heroes with super strength, invulnerability, magic… defeated. More than once.

That truth tightened her chest. But it wasn’t her chest that hurt. It was her head. A pain so sharp it stole her breath.

Robin spun around, alarmed.

“You okay?” he asked, stepping toward her.

Tim inhaled deeply and shook her head, pressing her lips together.

“Just a headache. It’ll pass, I’ll be fine.”

She wasn’t. But she couldn’t explain it. She didn’t even want to try. It wasn’t her head—it was something else. Something in her chest, something all over her body, screaming that something (someone) was missing.

Dick watched her for a moment longer, then nodded. Reluctantly. But Tim knew he was worried.

“Come on,” Robin said, low but firm. “The library’s close. We can move from there.”

***

The three of them opened a hatch above the upper level of the library and dropped inside. Tim landed in a crouch and followed Dick silently.

“There’s a secret passage behind one of the bookshelves,” Robin informed them, jumping over the railing and heading to the right.

“Seriously? Isn’t that a little too cliché?” Artemis grumbled, following him.

Tim barely stopped herself from rolling her eyes, staying close as her gaze scanned the room.

“You should see the Batcave,” Dick said with a sarcastic snort.

The library door slammed open. All three turned instantly, ready to strike, but saw no one.

Cautiously, they moved through the shelves, taking positions between the rows of books.

A metallic sound echoed through the room. Artemis peeked between the shelves.

“Artemis. Robin. Nightcrawler.” The robotic voice was unmistakable.

“It’s Red Tornado!” Artemis exclaimed, relieved, smiling… until the smile crumbled off her face. “No. No, it’s not.”

Thanks to Robin, Artemis was saved from the robot. The three managed to escape the library through the secret passage just before another robot, this one female-shaped, appeared at the only other exit, summoning fire from her hands.

So the male handled water and the female handled fire.

Noted.

As the bookshelf slid back into place, they ran down a staircase and then into a hallway. The three sprinted through the corridor at record speed.

“Did you know Tornado had… siblings?!” Artemis demanded.

“No,” Robin admitted quietly. They reached a junction, and Robin took a moment to check before leading them left.

Only for Artemis to grab his wrist.

“So now what?” she asked. “Red Tornado is one of the powerhouses of the League. How are we supposed to take down two?”

“Can you stop being so pessimistic?” Tim said, exasperated.

Artemis shot her a sharp look. “Sorry if I’m not thrilled about being burned or drowned to death.”

“Since we got here, you haven’t stopped complaining. That we don’t stand a chance, that we’re alone, that they’re stronger. So what? This isn’t the first time we’ve faced something like this.”

“Like this? Tim, those robots control elements! Do you know what that means?”

“Yeah, that they can kill us. Like a lot of other things we’ve already faced. Want a list? Because I’ve got a pretty long one. And spoiler: we’re still alive.”

“For how much longer? We’re just human!”

“Exactly. Human. And yet I’m still here. So are you.” Tim raised her voice, anger starting to mix with a deeper exhaustion. “I’ve seen powerful metas fall like flies. I’ve seen gods brought to their knees. You know what pisses me off? That you’re here—alive, useful—and still acting like you’ve already lost.”

Faces start to rise from the fog of her memory. Nameless voices. Warped silhouettes she can’t hold onto. Something crawls from the edge of her mind, as if waiting for her to finally remember it.

Artemis stepped back like she’d been struck.

“And you? You think you have the right to judge me?” Artemis snapped. “Do you know what it’s like to be the only one without powers or a name on a team of legends? To know that if you mess up just once, someone else dies?”

Tim looked at her with a mocking smile. “You think that makes you special? Just being the little new sidekick of a hero on a team with stronger names than yours? You’re just another replacement.”

The silence that followed was instant. Artemis stared at her, lips slightly parted, a mix of shock and hurt. Robin tensed beside her and placed a hand on her forearm. The light touch forced Tim to clear her head.

So Tim looked away instantly. “I’m sorry…” she murmured, lowering her voice. “I didn’t mean that.”

But she had. For a second, she’d wanted to hurt Artemis. Because that thought had haunted her too. Knowing she was just another replacement. That she took the place of someone who didn’t come back.

The metallic voice boomed through the speakers, cutting the moment short.

“Attention, Robin. Attention, Artemis. Attention, Nightcrawler,” one of the androids announced over the Mount’s system. “You have exactly ten minutes to surrender or your teammates’ lives will be extinguished.”

The three of them froze. Their eyes met, and the fear was shared.

***

Reaching the others had nearly drowned them, but thanks to their Bat gear they had respirators, even a spare one for Artemis. That hadn’t saved them from the android chasing them, but the Bat-level explosive sure had.

The hangar was flooded, Conner and Wally trapped in the middle of it all inside some kind of metal structure. In the distance, on a platform, Tim could see a cage of fire—she didn’t need to be a genius to know who was in there.

“We have to hurry, Martians and Atlanteans don’t handle heat well.”

“Watch out!” Wally shouted from afar.

The three took a breath before diving beneath the surface to dodge another fireball. They surfaced, only to dive again to avoid a second shot.

They swam, holding their breath, toward their two friends. Tim felt her heart pounding, but she couldn’t stop to think about it, because once she did, she wouldn’t stop thinking about how the water kept rising by the second—and even if Wally and Conner had powers, they couldn’t do much against water in their lungs.

“Are you two okay?” Robin asked in a low voice.

“Forget us,” Conner snapped. “Help Aqualad and M’gann,” calling their attention to the fire cage Tim had seen earlier.

“Aqualad, is she...?” Artemis didn’t dare finish.

“She’s unconscious,” Kaldur shouted back. “I fear she… we can’t survive much longer.” His voice cracked, revealing just how deep in trouble they were.

There wasn’t much they could do from their current position, so after swimming, they tried climbing the stairs, briefly faced off against the two androids, and fled. Now, all three were hiding inside the pipes of the ventilation system.

Six minutes.

“What do we do now?” Artemis asks worriedly.

“We save them,” Robin says lowly, but even with his mask on, the anger and edge are clear—he’s not as calm as his voice implies. “That’s how it works.”

“Maybe that’s how it’s supposed to work, but those robots already took out our four SuperPowered friends,” Artemis snaps.

“Tim’s right, you need to calm down,” Robin responds sharply.

“Rob…” Tim pleads. It’s one thing for her to be angry, but Tim had learned to fear Dick Grayson’s anger over the years.

When Tim got angry, she imploded. She withdrew, shut down—once she even wrecked an entire room just to calm down. And while her anger mostly hurt herself, she knew that silence left behind could also hurt others. But Tim fixed things. She always tried to make it right.

Dick’s anger, on the other hand… was something else.

It wasn’t explosive. It was controlled, sharp. A storm that started quiet. When Dick got mad, he said things he shouldn’t. He knew everyone so well that he knew exactly where to strike, what words to use to make it hurt the most. And that version of him was dangerous.

“What chance do we have against unstoppable machines?” Artemis blurts out, crossing her arms in frustration.

Robin blinks, and suddenly something shifts in his expression. His tone lightens with a spark of sudden enthusiasm. “Oh. Duh!” he exclaims.

Tim and Artemis look at him, confused.

“They’re machines. And an electromagnetic pulse could disable any of them in a second.”

Tim smacks her forehead.

“How didn’t I think of that?”

Robin smiles, just barely. “You know that between the two of us, I’m the handsome and the smart one.”

“And what am I?” Tim asks, raising an eyebrow.

“You’re the one who gets Batman to do things, and the one who maybe solves riddles. Maybe,” Robin replies casually.

“And you’re the one who thinks knows how to solve them.” Tim glares at him. “But go ahead, genius. Wow me with your super plan to build an EMP with a stapler and a flashlight. I don’t have one in my belt.”

Artemis raises a hand. “Are you two going to flirt or save our friends?”

“Flirt?!” Robin and Tim exclaim at the same time, visibly horrified.

“Please,” Tim says with a grimace. “He’s like my brother.”

“I am your brother,” Robin mutters, offended. “Besides, she likes them with a different hair color. Speaking of redheads—what do you say, KF? Is it possible?” He brings a hand up to his ear.

The speedster’s voice comes through the communicator. “Totally possible.”

Five minutes.

***

Kid Flash guided them with precision through everything they needed to gather and do. In the medical lab, they extracted a vacuum tube from an X-ray machine, and Robin quickly got to work configuring it. He didn’t say anything at first, but the frown on his face told Tim everything she needed to know. The only way to generate an electromagnetic pulse strong enough was by connecting it directly to the Cave’s generator. There was no other option. No room for error if they wanted to save their friends.

Without wasting time, the three snuck through the ventilation ducts to the upper level of the partially flooded hangar.

Robin contacted Kid Flash and Superboy. He asked for a distraction. From their position, Tim could only hear the echo of their voices across the cave. Wally was definitely annoying (part of him reminded her of someone), but Conner was too mechanical and needed improvement. In a calmer situation, that might’ve made her laugh—now she could only hope the shouting was loud enough to keep the androids from noticing them.

While Robin descended to connect the modified tube to the generator, Tim and Artemis took position, ready to cover him. The androids remained at the far end, beyond visual range… for now.

The plan was working.

But of course, something had to go wrong.

It was like the whirlpool of water heading for Dick moved in slow motion.

“Robin!” she wanted to scream, but there was no time.

The water rose like a living creature. A liquid tentacle wrapped around him in an instant, dragging him down before he could react. His figure disappeared so fast that Tim couldn’t even tell where his body had sunk.

Tim’s mind froze. For a second, she could only hear her own breathing—fast, erratic. Her heart pounded in her chest, urging her to move. She didn’t hesitate. She didn’t think.

She dove into the water without looking back. Artemis shouted her name, but she no longer heard her.

She could only think of Dick.

She swam hard, muscles tight, lungs burning. Until she saw him. His silhouette floating, sinking completely motionless.

No. No. Not again.

She swam in desperation, reached out, grabbed his arm, and pulled him upward, fighting the water’s resistance.

She surfaced, gasping, clinging to him.

The shouting was still there. But it didn’t matter.

She only saw his face.

The mask covered his eyes, but Tim knew they had to be closed. Any second now his skin would grow even paler and colder than it already was… his lips turning blue.

“No more dead Robins… no more dead Robins…” she whispered over and over, voice in pieces, as she held the body of her younger brother.

And then—a slight pressure. A hand squeezing hers.

Relief hit her as hard as the fear had before.

He was faking. This bastard was faking.

A shaky laugh rose in her throat, but she had no time to enjoy it.

The water whipped around them with brutal force, spinning into a sudden vortex. The current lifted them into the air like rag dolls. Tim tried to hold her breath, but the whole thing caught her too off guard. Batman would be disappointed.

Her ears began to ring and her chest burned. She saw small black dots around the edges of her vision. She knew what was coming and couldn’t stop it.

And then everything went dark.

***

When Tim woke up, the world was dark and shaky. For a second, her mind registered nothing but distant murmurs. Then, as if someone had hit play on a tape inside her head, she remembered everything.

Dick.

She sat up with a gasp, her muscles still trembling from the effort and the fear. She looked around frantically… until she saw him. He was lying beside her, coughing hard as he spat out the water still in his lungs.

The relief was so overwhelming it made her eyes sting.

“You’re okay…” she whispered, barely a breath. She touched his cheek gently, like she needed to make sure he was really there. That he wasn’t just another face among the many she had lost.

When Tim looked around, there was no sign of the androids—only Kaldur and M’gann, who, despite looking like fish out of water, were still breathing. And that was more than they had a few moments ago. Artemis was there too, breathing hard but conscious. Tim looked at her and, without words, took her hand for a second. “Thanks,” she said, her voice still rough. She didn’t need to be a genius to know that Artemis had figured something out.

Tim didn’t let go of Dick for even a moment. The sound of his irregular but living breaths was enough for her to finally ease some of the tension in her shoulders. He finally looked at her before speaking between gasps.

“Way to get traught…” he muttered with a tired smile.

Tim allowed herself a laugh, barely a sigh. She collapsed onto the floor, the cold surface not helping much with how soaked she was. Her head still buzzed, but for a moment, everything was okay. They were alive.

With Kaldur recovered, it was easy to get rid of the water flooding the hangar and go down to help Wally and Conner before they drowned too. Megan was still feeling a little unwell, so she leaned on the Atlantean while the others figured out how to free their friends from the metal.

“Figured my only shot was to ‘surrender,’ pretend to drown before I actually did.” Robin spoke with confidence, but Tim watched him in silence.

No more dead Robins.

She brought a hand to her throat, where her suit covered the white scar that ran across it from side to side.

No more dead Robins.

She barely remembered that night—just the blood that wouldn’t stop and the thought that she was going to die. She’d been saved by a miracle, because he hadn’t cut deep enough.

No more dead Robins.

It was one of the few scars the pit had left behind. Maybe it was a petty reminder that no matter what, she was still human—and just because she’d escaped death a few times didn’t mean her turn wouldn’t come.

No more dead Robins.

It was funny how only a few years after being saved from that death, she would end up inflicting it on herself by cutting in the exact same place.

“Will you quit playing with that thing and cut us free already?” Wally demands of Artemis.

She gives him a deadpanned look. “It’s not working, genius. EMP shuts down all machines, remember?”

Those two’s arguments were always background noise for Tim, the kind that just made her roll her eyes.

How old is he now? Tim thought. Must be a toddler.

“All machines present at the moment,” said Red Tornado as he approached. His mechanical voice sounded as neutral as always, but Tim’s muscles tensed at the sound, and she pushed the thought aside for later. “What happened?” he asked, turning his head toward the androids.

“We had a little visit,” Tim replied, crossing her arms.

“From your family,” added Robin, hands on his hips.

“Your extremely nasty family,” Artemis finished.

“I was not aware I had relations.” Tornado replied with the same impassive calm.

“Where were you?” Conner snapped.

"Monitor duty on the Watchtower.” Red Tornado answered. “When I noticed the communication drop, I attempted to intervene, but your Zeta tubes were also disabled.” He leaned over the other androids. “I transported to Providence and then came here.”

Sphere began to vibrate, easily freeing itself from where it had been stuck in the wall. Conner greets and gets beeps in return.

Then, the laser cutter in Artemis’s hands powered back on. Tim felt one of her compartments vibrating insistently.

“EMP wore off,” Robin and Kid Flash said in unison.

Things happened so fast Tim barely had time to react. She was pulling her phone out of her pocket to check if Roy had contacted her—and the next second, Red Tornado created two mini tornadoes and aimed them directly at them.

Tim felt an invisible claw tightening around her throat, and she dropped to her knees.

Can’t breathe.

No more dead Robins. No more dead Robins.

Once again.

Darkness.

***

When Tim came to, the light blinded her for a second. There was a whirlpool in her head that made her doubt whether she had really woken up or was just falling into another dream. She forced herself to blink a few times and focus her vision. The first thing she saw was the Cave ceiling; the second was Red Arrow.

Roy was nearly kneeling over her, his hands firm on her shoulders. His lips were moving, looking worried, brows furrowed. Tim thought maybe she was hallucinating. It was already the second time that day she had passed out—her brain was probably playing tricks on her.

“Roy…” she whispered, voice barely audible, unsure.

But the weight of Roy’s hands was real. The sound of his voice was real too.

“…I tried to get here earlier, but the Zeta tubes weren’t working—” he was saying as he helped her sit up.

Tim pulled away from him, a shiver running down her spine.

“The Cave… was locked down,” she replied. She barely registered what she was saying.

Her senses were dulled, like everything was still underwater. Voices, movement. Only one thing mattered.

Dick.

She turned her head, searching. It was a visceral urgency. The center of her world. She found him a few meters away, unmoving. The small body still in the soaked suit, the tall, dark figure of Batman crouched beside him.

Bruce had told Tim he trusted her to take care of Dick. And she had let all this happen. Dick had nearly drowned—twice—and she hadn’t stopped it.

She stood up clumsily, her legs barely holding her. Every step she took was trembling. When she finally reached his side, she dropped to her knees awkwardly. The pain in her kneecaps was immediate, but it didn’t matter.

She looked at Dick. Her brother.

Her Robin.

The anguish rose in her chest like a knot, so strong she thought it would break her ribs from the inside.

“Come on, Rob… please,” she murmured. “Come on… wake up…”

No more dead Robins.

The words spun in her head like a mantra, growing more desperate with each repetition.

And then… she saw him move. Just a slight twitch, a pull in the shoulder. Dick’s head turned slightly to the side, and he coughed, searching for air.

“Robin…” Tim gasped. Her soul snapped back into her body.

Her fingers trembled as she touched him. She felt that if she looked away from his face—if she blinked too long—another face would rise in her memory. With lifeless, empty eyes. Reminding her of what she had lost before. She brought a hand to her scar on her neck, pressing against it until she felt pain.

No more dead Robins. No more dead Robins.

When Tim looked up and met Batman’s steady gaze, even with the cowl covering his eyes, she could tell they must have been filled with the same relief.

“We need to talk,” Tim said, her voice barely a whisper.

No more dead Robins.