Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"Grunkle Stan...... I trust you"

Mabel let go of the pole the button was on and let herself float up in front of the portal.

"Mabel, are you crazy!? We're all gonna-"

Before I can finish berating my "sister", the countdown finishes. This is it. The portal is opening and we're all going to die because of my lying uncle and my idiotically naïve sister. There is a flash, then a feeling of weightlessness, and then falling. I hit the ground and rub my forehead. I look up and see a silhouette of a vaguely human man walking through the portal. He walks forward and stoops down to the journal. He puts his hand on the front cover for a moment, then picks it up and puts it in a pouch on the inside of his tattered trench coat.

"W-what? Grunkle Stan, who IS this guy?" Mabel asks.

"The author of the journals. My twin brother."

I look at Mabel and Soos who have looks of pure utter shock on their faces.

"Finally! After all these long years of waiting and working, you're ACTUALLY here! Brother!"

And then the mystery man clocks him. It takes quite a bit of self control to not laugh at his deserved pain.

"OW! What the fuck was that for?!"

"This was an INSANELY risky move, restarting the portal like this! Are you illiterate, or did you just IGNORE ever fucking warning I put in the journals?!"

We all sit and watch the 30 second fight before Mabel interrupts the two brawling.

"Hi, Mable here, one quick question, what in the world is going on???"

"Stan, you didn't say anything about children! And what appears to be a large hairless gopher."

Ok wow, rude much? I already don't like this guy. He's entitled and walks into a room acting like he's the smartest one there.

"I-I have a niece and nephew? Greetings, "he says, reaching out to shake Mabel's hand. "Do kids still say that?"

While he chats with Mabel, I try to distance myself from these backstabbers and liars. It finally sinks in. Mabel turned her back on me. She decided to trust a known liar, who she's known for less than three god damned months over her own twin brother. How could she? I guess the author was right. Trust no one. I feel this red hot anger burning in me. I want revenge. For her to feel as betrayed as I am. And I know exactly who to call for that. I crack a small, yet sadistic, smile as the thought oh her screaming and crying in betrayal and pain fills my head.

"WHAT!!!"

My head snaps up at the loud noise. I look at the author, who made the noise while talking with Stan.

"Okay. Fuck. It's alright. We should have a while before they find this room. We just have to lay low and think of a plan."

He takes out the journal and a pen and starts scribbling.

Mabel makes the oh-so obvious statement that we're all going to be stuck here for a while and decides to bring up their past. Idiot. Time and place. We are in neither.

But I sit there and listen to their sob stories they called lives. The science fair, Gravity Falls, being a con man. Everything. They are both so stupid in so many different ways. It's a miracle that they're both still alive, with how easily Fordsy here is manipulated and how many illegal activities Stan participates in. I honestly find it tragic that they wasted themselves. Lies, backstabbing, and pride ruin another one of humanities’ chances for greatness. What. A. Waste. They balance each other perfectly. Stan has ambition, social skills, charm, and general street smarts, while Fordsy has intellect, skill, precision, and impulse control. They could have been great together. But noooo, hubris and betrayal ruin it. I can't wait to leave this dingy basement, call Bill, and make the deal. I know he'll take it. I mean, he can't afford not to.

"I heard talking from the floor" an agent yells to his buddies.

Even I panic for a moment. I can't have anyone here going to jail.

"FORD! Here! Make them forget!" I shout.

"Dipper, you're a genius! If I can adjust this to a radio wave frequency.... GOT IT! Everyone, plug your ears!"

We all crouch down and plug our ears. A vibration goes out, and the agents won't remember a thing. So that's one obstacle scratched off. Ford deals with the agents, and I sneak off into the woods with journal 2.

Chapter Text

As I get deeper and deeper into the forest, I allow myself more freedom. Hmmmm. What exactly am I going to say? I know my goal, and he probably does too, but still. I finally reached the clearing I had in mind. I set up the circle, and say those precious words.

“Triangulum, Entangulum, Veneforis Dominus ventium! Veneforis venetisarium!”

A triangular hole opened up, with the edges surrounded by blue fire. Bill’s eye appeared, and then the rest of his “body” did too.

“Well, well, well, why in the world would you of all people summon me, Pinetree? Want me to smash another laptop? Possess your body again? OR- are you having…. Hmm, how should I put this…..” he said tapping his non-existent chin.

“Family issues?”

“Don’t be an ass Bill. You know exactly why you’re here and what I want. Now do you want to make a deal with me, or not?”

“Oh of course I do Pinetree! BUT. I want to hear you say what you want. Besides, for deals to work, we need to be verbal. And you’d have to say it eventually anyway. Now.... what do you want Pinetree?”

I take a shaky breath in. Its harder than I thought to actually say it. But I have to say it to get it.

“I want to make this entire world suffer. I want to turn my back on all of them, like they did to me. I want blood, chaos, and pain. I want to be your number two in taking over this PATHETIC PLANET FULL OF MISERABLE LOWLIFE BACKSTABBERS!” I accidentally screeched.

Bill has a look of almost shock on his… face?

“Okay I am going to be quite transparent here. I am absolutely thrilled that you want to be on my side! And my right hand man at that! However there are some… added necessities at the second bit. If I decide on a right hand man, it’s permanent. I don’t trust easy, so its best to have an immortal be my number two. So, you would have to become immortal, and preferably a demon if you want to be number 2. Are you willing to sacrifice your very humanity for me?”

“Yes. There is nothing good about being human or living amongst them. The more “humanity” I can wash my hands of the better.” I say sternly.

“Fantastic! Now. I know your needs and conditions, time for mine. My takeover isn’t happening until much later this summer. I want you to spy on Sixer, Fez, and Shooting Star for me until then, alright? I’m also going to insist that we have this wonderful little doo dad I call a mind link. It will allow us to communicate mentally without issues, and will allow both of us to see each other's minds and access them.” He says, clearly unable to contain his joy.

“I agree to both of those. With the mind link, I’ll be able to trust you a lot more, and the spying thing is no issue for me.” I say happily.

“Amazing! So, if there are no more conditions on either side”, He sticks his hand out to me, encasing it in magical blue flames.

“Do we have ourselves a deal, Pinetree?”

I grab his hand and shake it.

“Yes we do Bill.”

As soon as we let go, I crack a huge, sadistic, smile. We are going to have quite a bit of fun now, aren’t we?

“Alright let’s get the mind link set up. Just give me one moment…”

He draws a glowing circle above my head, putting an equilateral triangle in the center, and closing his eye.

“Ponte gap, coniungant animos.”

As soon as he finishes saying the spell, I can feel his mind. It's like a ghost in my own head.

Bill?

Bill heartily chuckles.

“I see you’ve already figured out the communication part of the link! My you’re quite smart. I can’t wait to make you even smarter!”

“What exactly do you mean by that, Bill?”

“Well, try and figure out. Use the mind link, Pinetree!”

“Alright then.”

I close my eyes and try to focus my mind. Bill’s mind is now permanently connected to mine, so I just have to find his mind. I try to visualize a bridge connecting our minds together. Once I can see the bridge in my mind’s eye, I imagine myself crossing it.

There we go, Pinetree! I want to teach you magic as soon as I can!

“Really!? I would love learning magic from a master like you, Bill!”

“Fantastic! I’ll prepare the spell to turn you into a demon, but it won’t be ready till about two in the morning tomorrow.”

“Alright, I’ll meet you here around that time tomorrow, ok?”

“Definitely! Now, you should get back to the shack before they start getting worried. I’ll be in your mind if you need me, Pinetree!”

“Later, Bill!” I say, waving at him as I walk away.

My mind is racing at the speed of light as I walk back to the shack. The deal went so much better than I could have ever hoped! Bill actually wants me as his right hand man! We are going to destroy this pathetic world, and I get vengeance on any idiot who has ever wronged me. This is going to be so much fun.

Yes it is, isn’t it?

Bill! Were you listening to all of that?!

Kinda. Your thoughts were so damn loud, it was more like you were yelling them into my head. You really want this, don’t you?

Absolutely.

Good. Humans have wronged you. It was an idiotic idea on their part. You are smart, and creative, and more determined to get what you want than any human I’ve ever interacted with.

R-really?

Not used to people giving you the praise you deserve, eh? Well get used to it. You are an amazing person and anyone who thinks otherwise is a liar, an idiot, or both.

...Thanks, Bill. I really appreciate that. No one ever takes me seriously or genuinely likes me.

I know. And its idiotic. But I like you, and every single one of my friends will too. We’re all freaks, You will be adored, and accepted.

Do you promise?

I promise, Pinetree.

Almost as soon as he finishes that last sentence, I see the shack. As soon as I get close to the front door, Ma-Shooting Star runs out and hugs me.

“Bro-bro, why did you run off? I was so worried about you! You’ve wanted to meet the author of the journals almost all summer, why did you run off when he got here?”

“Sorry Mabel, I just got kinda overwhelmed. I just wanted to clear my head. Sorry for not telling you.”

“Its a-okay bro-bro!”

Fez shoos us upstairs so he can talk with Sixer.

“Mabel? I’m gonna go to bed, ok?”

“Oh… okay bro-bro. You must be exhausted after the day we’ve had. Goodnight Dipper!”

“Night Mabel.”

The last thing I hear before I go to sleep is Bill.

Good night Pinetree. Sweet Dreams!

Chapter Text

Pinetree~

Yes, Bill?

Good morning!

Morning Bill!

I need you to try your best to get Sixer to trust you. He has secrets and information that is invaluable to us and our take over. Can you start that now, or do you want to wait until you are a demon?

I can start now. Seems simple enough, I mean, all it is is emotional manipulation and lying right? I can do those fairly easily.

Fantastic! By the way… I have a little surprise to show you when you get to the clearing later!

I swear to gods, Bill, if it deer teeth or something weird like that….

No, no! Nothing like that. Just something I think you will like!

Alright then.

“DIPPER! BREAKFAST!” Mabel yelled from downstairs.

“Coming!” I yelled back.

Later, Bill!

See ya, Pinetree~

I run down the stairs, not even bothering to get dressed. When I get to the kitchen, I see Fez flipping a few “stan-cakes” and putting them on one of the bigger plates we have. Sixer and Shooting Star are sitting at the table chatting away about something random. I think this is a good chance to try and endear him to me.

“Grunkle Ford?” I call to get his attention while sitting down.

“Oh! Yes, Dipper?”

“I just wanted to apologize for my behavior yesterday. It was quite rude of me to run off without saying anything.” I say shyly.

“Oh, its perfectly fine Dipper. We were all very overwhelmed yesterday, and I don’t blame you for taking time to collect your thoughts by yourself. I would have done the same thing if I were in your position.” He said with a hearty chuckle.

“Oh that’s a relief!” I sigh.

Fez walks over to the table, setting down the plate of stan-cakes and a bottle of syrup. He sits down and serves himself a few stan-cakes silently.

“Sooo…. Mabel here tells me you’re a fan of my work?” He questions while serving himself.

“Yes! I’ve read journal three front to back several times, added my own entries, and even discovered the hidden messages!” I say, feigning excitement while getting myself some breakfast too.

“My, that’s impressive! You even finding that one is outstanding on its own, but adding your own discoveries and finding my hidden notes? It looks like we have another overachiever in the family, right Stanley?” he says, elbowing his twin.

“Yeah, I guess…” Fez grumbles in response.

For the rest of breakfast, we eat in mostly silence, with occasional attempts at small talk from Shooting Star. As soon as I finish, I excuse myself to go get dressed. I search through my closet for some less dorky clothes. But, all of them are trash. Damn Shooting Star, getting all the good clothes….

I can help with that, Pinetree.

Really!? You can give me the style of clothes I’ve always wanted?

Of course! Please close your closet door.

Got it!

I close the door and go over to my bed to sit down.

You know all my favorite bands, right Bill?

Of course. You’ve interested me since I met you. And I tend to obsess over things that genuinely interest me.

Oh~ So you’re saying that you’re obsessed with me? Bill, I’m flattered!

I- um…. Shit.

No, I’m not kidding that’s adorable. And I do the exact same thing.

Oh…… I-... just get dressed, okay, Pinetree?

Okay, okay, I’ll drop it.

I get up and walk over to my closet and throw open the door. Even though I knew it was coming, I can’t help but gasp at my new and improved wardrobe. Band T-shirts, ripped jeans, leather jackets, combat boots, and my signature pine tree baseball cap has been replaced with a black beanie with a dark blue embroidered pine tree on the front. I grab the beanie and hug it to my chest.

Thank you so much, Bill. They are so amazing. I love them!

I’m glad you do, Pinetree! But check inside the bottom drawer~

Why? That’s just a jewelry-.... Oh….

Go look, Pinetree.

I kneel down and open the bottom drawer. I see an array of earrings, chokers, bracelets, and in the very center, a golden triangle on a black leather band.

Oh my gods, Bill! You’ve out done yourself! Thank you so much!

I’m glad you like them, Pinetree!

I very much so do, Bill!

You should probably get dressed now though. You’ve been up here for a little while.

Crap, you’re right!

I grab a random band shirt, a pair of ripped up black skinny jeans, some Doc Martens, the triangle necklace, and the beanie. I quickly get dressed, brush my teeth, and shove the beanie over my fluffy brown hair. I take a few minutes to check myself out in the bathroom mirror, turning and adjusting my angle as necessary.

“Something is missing….”

Check the side drawer, Sapling.

Oh, okay then!

I open the side drawer to find a few different kinds of black lipstick, and some red lipstick, and both black and white eyeliner. Now I don’t wear it out in public, I maybe kinda stole some of Shooting Star’s make up a few years ago and learned how to do it.

I grab the matte black lipstick and the black eyeliner, and quickly apply them. I check myself out again, and I must say, I look GOOD. I’m radiating confidence, and I look like myself.

Thank you so, so much Bill!

You’re most welcome, Pinetree. Now go win Sixer over. It’ll be hard, but you can do it!

Got it!

I run down the stairs two at a time out of pure excitement. I can’t fucking wait to get Sixer to tell me all his little secrets!

“Hey bro- OH MY GOD WHAT DID YOU DO?!” she screeches

“What do you mean, Mabel? Is something wrong with my outfit?” I ask innocently.

“N-no! Sorry for yelling, you just caught me off guard. You look….nice.”

“Thank you.”

Fucking Shooting Star. Can’t handle people making their own fucking decisions? Gods, she is so selfish, and greedy.

I go over to the vending machine and put in the code to get access to the basement where Sixer probably is. I walk down the dark stairs and get to his lab, where surprise surprise, he’s sitting there with his face shoved in a book.

“Grunkle Ford?” I call out to get his attention.

“Oh! Hello there, Dipper! How can I help you?” he answered.

“I was actually wondering how I could help YOU” I say sheepishly.

“You said earlier that the discoveries I made were outstanding, and I thought you might like an assistant slash apprentice for your research!” I say, excitement in my voice.

“Ah, I see. I didn’t think a young person like you would want to spend large amounts of his free time working with an old coot like me, but I guess I made the wrong assumptions, huh?”

“Why would I care that you’re older, Grunkle Ford? Old just means experienced and knowledgeable. I could learn so much from you! That is if you want to teach me…”

This is going perfectly! Get him to teach me what he knows, then use his own knowledge to destroy him. Easy. As. Pie.

“Dipper I would love to teach you! You’re a smart lad, and you could be of great use to me. So consider your offer accepted.”

“Fantastic! What do you need help with, Grunkle Ford?”

“Well, for now, I would like some assistance in cleaning up the mess the portal left behind. There are hunks of metal and other heavy things I need help lifting.”

“Of course I can help with that!”

We both start cleaning up the remnants of the portal and exchanging random information we’ve learned. Its a true shame he’s lying to me about what he wants. He’s trying to take advantage of the fact that I used to idolize him for free labor and to claim my work.

It is a shame.

I know, right? He has such a large ego, he can’t even tell he’s being played like a fiddle. He is a fool.

He truly is. But the spell is almost ready! Soon you will have the power you need my Sapling!

Good.

“Dipper? It’s almost three, we should stop for the day.” Sixer interrupts.

“Oh, already three? I guess you’re right. We can finish tomorrow. Goodnight, Grunkle Ford!”

“Goodnight, Dipper.”

Finally. That old asshole was starting to get on my nerves.

I know, Pinetree. At least he likes you. That is very good for us.

It is.

I spend the rest of the day talking with Bill, reading, and drawing. Mabel also came to talk to me, but she didn’t really want to be there. She was just trying to make sure I wasn’t angry with her.

Finally, it’s about one-thirty in the morning. I’m just sitting at my desk waiting for Bill to give me the okay to head to our clearing.

Pinetree? The spell is almost ready!

I’m on my way, Bill.

Good.

Chapter Text

As soon as Bill gives me the all clear to head to our clearing, I grab my flashlight and sneak out through my window.

As I’m clambering to get off the roof, without breaking any bones, my mind starts to race. This is real. I’m not going to be human anymore in half an hour. I’m going to be a demon, just like Bill, and I’ll get to take over this pathetic world with him.

I’m glad you’re so excited, Pinetree.

Was I scream thinking again?

Yep. But don’t worry! I find it really cute. You’re so passionate about this, and I love that.

I smile and blush at that last statement. He thinks I’m cute! He’s so sweet.

Glad you think so my Sapling! But don’t forget about your other surprise~

RIght! I did forget you had something else for me.

I enter the forest and head north east to our clearing.

What’s kinda weird, but also really good, is that normally I would be worried about going into the woods this late on my own, but now…. I know I’m going straight into the arms of my demon.

Your demon? I like that.

I can’t even respond out of pure embarrassment. I called him my demon. And he likes it!

I am your demon, and you are my sapling. Never forget that, okay?

…..Do you promise? I am yours, and you are mine?

Forever my Pinetree.

I feel my face heat up and I break into a huge smile. He is my demon, and I am his pinetree.

I finally break into the clearing to find that it is…. not a clearing? Instead of a large circle of grass and flowers, there is a cozy yet spooky looking cabin in the center. There is cloudy smoke billowing out of the chimney, indicating that someone is inside. Bill did say to come back here, so I assume its him inside.

I walk up to the cabin door and knock on the dark oak slab.

“Come on in, Pinetree!” Bill calls out from inside.

I open the door, walking in and closing the door behind me. I turn off my flashlight and set it on a table by the door. 

“Bill? Where are you?” I call out.

“Upstairs, Sapling!” he responds.

I immediately start running up the stairs two at a time. I’m so excited to see him!

“Bill, which room are you in?”

“Eighth door on the left, Pinetree!”

 I run as fast as I can to the eighth door on the left and throw it open. But instead of a golden triangle with a top hat and one eye, I see a tall man standing there, back to me. He has blond hair that’s tipped blue, with half of it shaved and dyed black.

“Bill? Is that you?”

The man turns around and smiles at me. Then I hear an unmistakable voice.

“Ding, ding, ding, Pinetree! Sooo… whaddya think of my human form?” he asks hopefully.

Blood rushes to my cheeks and turns them red. I look him up and down a few times. He has tanned skin, and a muscular body. He’s wearing an eyepatch over his left eye, and his right eye is a beautifully violent shade of cyan.

“You look amazing,” I whisper.

He walks over to me, gently grabs my chin and tilts my face up at him.

“Glad you think so, my Pinetree” 

I tear my eyes away from Bill to look at the large spell circle on the floor, with…. a piano in the corner of the room?

“Bill, why the hell is there a piano in here?”

“For the spell my dear. The easiest and most painless way to become a demon, is to dance with one. The more powerful the demon you dance with is, the stronger you will be. Luckily for you, you’re dancing with The King of Demons!”

“That’s amazing, Bill! But if you’re my dance partner, shouldn’t my clothes match yours?” I say gesturing to his outfit.

Its an amazing tuxedo, the coat is black with golden accents, and the tails reach the back of his knees. He’s wearing matching pants, and some black boots with golden buttons, and on his hands he has fingerless black leather gloves. The only thing matching about our outfits is the gloves. I mean, the only change I made to my outfit from earlier today was adding a dark blue hoodie!

“You’re right, Pinetree!” 

He snaps his fingers, and his signature blue fire envelopes me. When the fire dies down, I’m wearing a suit very similar to his. The main difference is instead of golden accents on the boots and jacket, I have silver buttons on both, and every other accent is dark blue. 

“So whaddya think, Pinetree? Does it fit right?”

“Yeah! It looks great, and fits just right. I love it, Bill, thank you.”

“Glad you like it, Sapling. Now!” 

He snaps his fingers and the piano starts playing an eerie, yet beautiful tune.

He extends his hand so that I can grab it.

“May I have this dance?” he asks with a sly smirk.

“Of course my demon,” I say with a smile to match his.

I take his hand and let him lead me to the edge of the spell circle. He puts one hand on my waist, the other raising our joined hands up. I put my other hand on his shoulder, and smile at him.

“Last chance to back out, Pinetree.”

“Never.”

With my final mark of consent, he activates the spell, and the piano music grows louder. He takes the lead, and we start to waltz. 

We swirl around the circle, and a small fire catches at the edge where we started dancing. As we pass runes in the circle, they glow, ignite, and erupt into magnificent cyan flames. We swirl, and circle to the time of the music, slowly being surrounded by fire.

As we start to approach the large rune in the center of the spell, it gets really hot. Bill picks me up, spins us one last time, and sets me on the center rune.

And then my body is engulfed by cyan fire.

Chapter Text

Despite being on fucking fire, I feel no pain. Only a tingling sensation all over my body. I can vaguely see Bill’s silhouette through the flames surrounding me, and he’s still holding my hand. The fire slowly starts to die down, and I can see a bit more clearly now.

“Pinetree? Are you okay? Can you see?”

“Yeah, I’m fine! I can see! How long until I can move?”

“Only a few more minutes. Are you excited to see your new self?”

“Yeah, actually!” How do I look from what you can see?”

“Fan-fucking-tastic, Sapling! I can’t wait until you see yourself!”

I smile at Bill as the flames finally die out. I step off the rune, and go straight into Bill’s open arms. We hold each other for a few minutes, just taking each other in.

Bill lets me go and snaps his fingers. A full length mirror appears to the side of us.

“Are you ready to see yourself, my Sapling?”

I breathe in, and close my eyes. I walk to the mirror, mind racing. I breathe out and open my eyes.

Holy. Shit.

“So, whaddya think, Pinetree? Is this what you wanted?”

I stare at my reflection silently. I look… demonic. My eyes have gone from a warm brown to an ethereal blue, with little flecks of silver. Then, they change. Flecks of bright color make them look like nebulas.

“They are beautiful, aren’t they?” Bill says, interrupting my train of thought.

“Yeah.... I look so different. I mean my hair, its not brown anymore! Its silver, with blue streaks! And my skin is so pale! And look! I have fangs! I love it!” I say, smiling.

“Fantastic! Now, I’ve put a mirage of human you in the shack, however it will only last so long. Tomorrow I’ll teach you how to look human again so you can still spy on everyone at the shack. However, that can wait. Are you tired at all?”

“Kinda, why?”

“Well I wanted to stargaze with you, but if you’re tired, it can wait,” he says nervously.

“No, no, I want to stargaze with you! That sounds really fun actually,” I say smiling.

“Well that’s good. Do you want to change into some more...comfortable clothes first though? Pajamas or what you were wearing before?”

“What I was wearing before will be perfect! Though I think you should change into something a bit more comfy too. Suits aren’t fun to stargaze in,” I say with a giggle.

“Oh, right,” he says looking down at his clothes with a light pink brushing his cheeks.

He takes my hand, and leads me out of the room. We walk to the other side of the second story to two doors with carvings on them. One has a pine tree, the other a triangle. I let go of Bill’s hand and reached to open the pine tree door.

“You should find clothes similar to the ones in your closet back at the shack in your wardrobe here. There’s also a bathroom with everything you need in it. Meet me here in half an hour?”

“Yeah! See you then, Bill!”

We separate into our respective rooms, and I take a look around my room. The walls look like a starry night sky, with silver fixtures all around. There isn’t a ceiling light, and two of the massive walls are covered in books. I completely ignore the large wardrobe, and run straight to one of the bookshelves. I start acting like an excited puppy, running around, looking at the hundreds of books lining my walls. There’s texts in languages I don’t even know!

“BILL!’ I shout.

Bill pops into my room immediately, with a look of concern.

“Pinetree? Are you okay? Is something wrong?’

“No, no, actually the opposite! You have to teach me all these languages!”

I start muttering about the books, and how long it will take me to read them all when Bill starts laughing.

“Pinetree, of course I’ll teach you how to read the books I gave you! But can I at least put on a shirt before I start teaching you dead languages?”

I look down at his chest, just now seeing the aforementioned lack of a shirt. My face flushes into a tomato, and I push my face into my hands.

“Oh my gods, Bill, I am SO sorry. Yes, absolutely go finish getting dressed, I am so so sorry.”

Bill gently pulls my hands away from my face and tilts my head up to look at him.

“You’re fine my sapling. I adore that you get so excited to learn, it’s one of the reasons you’re the first mortal I’d been able to stand in centuries. So breathe, grab a jacket, and I’ll meet you by the door, alright?”

“I- okay. Thank you. See you in a minute Bill!”

He pops away and I’m left entirely speechless. That is the first time anyone has ever taken my muttering well. Everyone else just thinks I’m a weird nerd when I do that. A soft smile forces its way onto my face as I open the wardrobe and pull out a blue hoodie and tug it on over my T-shirt. I think I made the right choice. I grab one of the books in English and head downstairs to finish this amazing night with Bill.

Chapter Text

I’m sitting by the door to the cabin, book in hand when Bill walks down the stairs. He really does like yellow, judging based on his clothes choices. Earlier, the black and yellow suit, and now? A yellow hoodie, black torn up jeans, and black boots.

“Hey! I know what I like, so sue me!” He says jovally. 

“Well sorry for noticing a pattern, lemon boy.” I tease with a wink.

“Oh ho! Getting cocky, aren’t we, Pinetree?”

“Maybe.”

“That’s good. Confidence is a fantastic look on you, Sapling.”

“Oh hush. Let’s just go, ya big dork.”

“As you wish, my pinetree.”

I let him pass me to open the door. He grabs my hand and leads me out of the house and down the path towards the dense thicket of trees.

“Oh, wait! Pinetree, I have one more surprise, but I need to blindfold you for this one. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, you’ve given me absolutely no reason not to trust you, so go ahead!” I say, beaming.

 Bill’s eyes soften and he looks pleased. He snaps his finger and a white blindfold pops into his hands. He ties it around my eyes, grasps my hand again, and starts leading me to whatever surprise he’s got planned for us.

After about five minutes of walking and chatting with Bill, he stops us, taking off my blindfold.

Laid out in a gap between a cluster of trees, is an absolutely amazing picnic spread. Huge baskets of food, and large bottles of all kinds of drinks, and what looks to be plates and cups for two people. I whirl around and look at Bill.

“You set all this up, for me? That’s so sweet, thank you!”I exclaim, throwing my arms around Bill’s neck. Bill wraps his hands around my waist to return my hug.

“It’s nothing at all, Pinetree. You deserve this. You were so patient and understanding with everyone in your life for so long, and I need to show you that here, you’re appreciated and adored. Now, let’s sit and eat, alright?

We walk over and sit next to each other in front of the magnificent spread. I pull out two plates and two cups for us to use. 

“Anything here you’d like to have first, Bill? I mean, it has to have been a while since you’ve had human food.”

“Nah, I set this up for you, so by all logic, you get first pick! Anything looking particularly good, I know you skipped your last meal today.”

“Fine, fine. Those cookies look really good,” I say, reaching out to grab one of them.

Apparently, because magic, all this food is fresh, so the cookies are still warm and soft. I pass the one I picked up to Bill before grabbing another for myself. I take a bite of the warm, chewy, goodness that is a fresh chocolate chip cookie, and flop down to stare at the stars. Bill follows my movements, and lays down next to me and holds my hand.

“Ya wanna know what my favorite constellation is?” I ask.

“Of course, Pinetree. Do tell!”

“It’s Draco. It represents the dragon, the mystical fury of a god.”

“That matches you perfectly, sapling. Majestic and graceful, yet a dangerous enemy to make.”

“Ya know, after eighteen years of constantly giving up everything and everyone for my ‘family’, it’s going to be magnificent to watch them grovel at my feet and beg for my mercy. I’m so tired of being the doormat for everyone.”

“As you should be, Pinetree. And I promise you, you will get your vengeance on anyone who has ever wronged you. You will get to listen to their screams of pain and cries for mercy. They deserve it, and you have earned your long awaited vengeance. You only have to wait a little longer, sapling,” He said, giving my hand a reassuring squeeze.

“You picked the right side, Pinetree.”

“I know I did. Especially considering the only person who could have maybe changed my mind tried to manipulate me into being his lapdog all afternoon.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. That’s just what Sixer does. He walks and talks like he’s the smartest person in the room, and because of that, unless you’re of some use to him, you’ll be cast aside.”

“Exactly, Fez and him could have ruled the damn world together, but  they were prideful fools who prioritized their own half baked goals over the other.”

“I agree. Those two are the most foolish humans I’ve had the displeasure of seeing in a very long time. It’s honestly a miracle neither of them has killed the other yet.”

“I’m glad I chose you, Bill. Nobody else in my life has ever tried to make me feel welcome and happy, or put up with my nerdy tendencies. Thank you.”

“Listen kid, anyone who makes that dumb of a choice needs to pay with blood. You are intelligent, ambitious, and creative. Honestly, I was so fucking excited that you, of all mortlas with grievances, wanted to be my right hand.”

“I wish I had done this ages ago. I feel far more content than I have in a very long time.”

“Anything for my Pinetree. Now, would you like something else or another cookie?”

“Actually that fruit bowl looks great. Could you pass it over here?”

“Sure Pinetree,” He says sitting up.

He sets the crystal bowl of assorted fruits between us and flops back onto the blanket.

“Do you wanna start learning magic or Latin first? I mean there is an overlap when it comes to the older verbal spells, but which one you start learning first is entirely up to you,” He says, popping a grape into his mouth.

“Hmmm.... I think we should start with the more basic magic for now. Ya know, teleportation, levitation, disguising myself as human, stuff like that.”

“Wise choices, Pinetree!” he shouts, leaping up.

“Considering it’s almost four in the morning, we should make sure you can at least look human first. Come on, up, up!”

I finish off my strawberry as I clamber to my feet, practically vibrating with excitement. I’m actually going to start learning real magic, from none other that Bill Cipher himself!

“Alright Pinetree! The first step to looking human again is to let go of your love for how you look now, or have a stronger desire to look human again. Otherwise, no matter how hard you try to look human, you won’t. Got it?”

“That makes logical sense, and trust me, as much as I hated being human, I know for a fact I need to at least look human to continue my task. So, I’d say the desire to look human is high enough.”

“That’s good. Sixer would quite literally kill you on sight if you walked into the shack looking like a demon. So, it’s also a safety concern for you as well. The next key factor is to know what you’d look like as a human. You were born human, so that should be easy for you.”

“Yep. When you spend every morning looking into the mirror hating the way you look, that face is carved into your memory.”

“That’s what happens when your destiny is to be a demon, Pinetree. I’m sorry you had to suffer for so long,” He says, putting his hand on my shoulder.

“It’s fine. It gives me extra disdain for humans.”

“Still, that’s not in any way fair to you. Soon, you’ll never have to see the face you despise again.”

“Which is why I’m so excited to finally overtake this planet. But, we should get back on topic. What’s the next step, Bill?”

“Well, the next step is to feel yourself reaching out for your human appearance. Like putting on a heavy winter coat. Can you try for me Pinetree?”

I close my eyes and try to subconsciously reach out for my old self. I can almost feel my hand brushing against it. Then, I imagine the feeling of begrudgingly tugging on a coat.

“Unholy shit, Pinetree! You did it, first try! I am very impressed!” Bill says ecstatically. 

My eyes fly open at that.

“Are you serious? I did it the first try?”

“You sure did Pinetree! I can’t say I’m surprised though. You have more magical skill than I’ve seen in a human in a very long time.”

“Well either way, I can’t believe it’s that easy! Can I learn more?” I ask hopefully.

“Of course Pinetree! It would be ridiculous to stop now!”

“Where are we going next, Bill?”

“Hmm. Maybe mind reading. It could definitely assist you in your goal, and could be generally useful.”

“But doesn’t Sixer have that metal plate in his head to stop you from entering his dreams or reading his mind?”

“Yes, he has a plate to stop me from reading his mind. But, not you. On the plate itself, for it to work, it needs to have that specific demon’s name and symbols inscribed onto it. Because you weren’t even born yet when he put the thing in his head, it’s literally impossible for him to block you with that thing.”

“Well that’s good for us.”

“Yes, it is my friend! Now, mind reading is easy enough, however it does require a little more effort than the mind link. It wouldn’t really work for you to practice on me, so any human in particular you feel like using as a guinea pig?”

“So many. I feel like we should grab one from Piedmont so nobody notices a missing local here.”

“Clever idea, my dear! Just give me a name, and they’ll be here in moments.”

“Hmm… Difficult to pick just one, but for now I’ll just settle for one of the kids that bullied me. Mabel won’t get suspicious if she isn’t friends with the one I pick, so I think I’ll go with Jackie Michales. She’s a bitch, I’m sure nobody will even notice she’s gone.”

“Fantastic choice, Pinetree!”

Bill snaps his finger, and boom, Jackie pops up in front of us tied to a chair with a cloth gag in her mouth.

“There she is, my dear. Again, mind reading is just like the mind link, it just needs a little bit more focus. Go ahead, Pinetree.”

I close my eyes and focus on Jackie, more specifically seeing her mind.

Where in the hell am I?! Who are these freaks? How the fuck did I get in the middle of the forest? And why are they talking about mind reading?!

“Well, Jackie, you’re in Gravity Falls, Oregon, and I’m a bit sad you didn’t recognize your favorite victim, you’re here because we brought you here. And we’re talking about mind reading because that’s what I’m learning at the moment, obviously. How are you stupider than I remember?”

Jackie’s eyes widen with shock as she yelps through the gag.

“Damn, Pinetree, you’re three for three on picking up magical skills!”

“Thanks, Bill. Can we keep this one, I want to do more stuff to her. Possibly torture her to insanity. Who knows,” I say with a shrug of my shoulders.

Jackie clearly didn’t like that last statement, as she starts rocking the chair back and forth to try to escape.

“Uh uh uh, Jackie, you’re staying right here,” I say wagging my fingers as thorny vines wrap around the legs of the chair securing it in place.

“Whoah, Pinetree, I haven’t taught you how to make things do stuff like that yet! How did you gain control of living things so quickly, with no instruction?”

“I don’t know, I just wanted her to stop moving, and the vines started growing.”

“You really are something, aren’t you, Pinetree?” Bill says with a chuckle.

“Let's get this bitch back to the cabin, we can get far more research and entertainment out of her there.” Bill suggests.

“Let’s. Lead the way, my demon.”

“As you wish, Pinetree.”

He snaps his fingers, and Jackie is levitating right behind us. Bill grabs my hand and starts to lead me back to the cabin. Tonight is going to be even more fun. 

Chapter Text

Despite the attempted screaming for help from Jackie, Bill and I actually manage to have a pleasant conversation on the way back to the cabin. Bill opens the door when we get to the front of the cozy cabin and gestures for me to walk in first.

“Thanks, Bill!” I say as I step into the house.

Bill follows me in, and then a kicking, attempted screaming, Jackie follows him. The door closes and locks and I turn around to face them.

“Now, what are we gonna do with her ?” I ask, pointing at Jackie.

“I actually anticipated us, ehem, ‘borrowing’ some people, so I built a large soundproof basement with restraints and other tools for us to use.”

“Clever, as always, huh, Bill?” I say, tapping his chest.

“Of course I am, Pinetree! You don’t get to be king of all things weird and demonic by being an idiot after all.”

“That’s fair. So where’s the entrance to this kidnaped people room anyway?”

“It’s right here!” He shouts, whirling around to a large painting on the wall.

“Can you cover her eyes? Can’t have her knowing how to get in and out, after all!”

“Absolutely I can.”

I walk over to Jackie and push my hand over her eyes.

“All clear, Bill!”

He presses some of the detailing on the frame, and then gently taps a pine tree in the back of the artwork. The painting swings open to reveal a long spiraling staircase ,which I assume leads to the basement.

“Alright, Pinetree, you can move your hand now.”

I pull my hand from her face and give myself a few seconds to admire the true fear I’ve instilled in her. Her eyes are shaking and she’s obviously been crying. Honestly, I can’t wait to ruin her even more. She has it coming. She’s hurt many innocent people, and she was foolish enough to give me her name. Bill starts levitating her again and we walk through the door. I pull the painting shut behind us, and we start walking down the dizzying staircase. We reach the basement pretty quickly, and Bill sets the chair down.

I walk over to Jackie and kneel down to be at eye level with her while yanking out the gag.

“Karma is a fucking bitch, isn’t it Jackie? Recognize me now, or am I going to have to remind you?” I say, with a sadistic tone and tilting my head.

“I-I don’t know what I did to you, or who you are, please I just wanna go home!” She cries.

“Wrong again, Jackie. But I’m nice, I’ll give you one more shot at guessing my name.”

Tears well up in Jackie’s eyes. She’s clearly completely lost, the poor idiot.

Who is this monster?! Will he kill me if I can’t remember? Will he let me go if I can?

“No to both of those Jackie! You’re far more useful alive, and you had your chance for mercy years ago. Now come on, spit it out already. It’s a pretty unique name.”

A look of realization spreads on her tear-stained face.

“D-Dipper? Dipper Pines?”

“Oh yay, she actually managed to remember my name! Congratulations! Isn’t that lucky, Bill?”

“Lucky indeed. Can she guess why she’s here though? Why was she of all humans picked to be our little lab rat?”

“Hmm,” I say, tapping my chin,” That’s a good question. Can she tell us?” I inquire twirling to face her again.

“I don’t know why you would want me! I did nothing to you! Remember? It was everyone else who tormented you, I was your friend!”

An insane and sadistic laugh pulls itself from my throat.

“You think you were innocent? You poured milk on my head in front of the whole school! You threw my favorite book into the river, and then dumped me and everything I had into that same river! If you think you were my friend at any point, then you’re crazier than I ever will be!”

My laugh picks up again, and Jackie looks even more terrified.

“P-please, I’m sorry Dipper, but hey, that’s all in the past! Nobody ever actually got hurt, right?”

“Nobody got hurt? Bitch, I almost killed myself in the school bathroom because of you and everyone else in that god-forsaken school! So, trust me, you deserve everything coming to you. And I will be more than happy to deliver the pain.”

I walk up to her and slap her. She screams, and then a distressed sob.

“Wow, Pinetree, didn’t know you had something like that in you. I’m pretty impressed!”

“She had it coming. I’m not the only one she tormented, and I’m sure she’s been harassing  people over the summer while I’ve been in Gravity Falls.”

“I’m positive. Anyway, what would you like to learn next, Pinetree?”

“I don’t know actually. Something that causes excruciating pain sounds nice.” I suggest, shooting a glance at a sobbing Jackie.

“I like that idea actually. Fire? Rearranging vital body parts? Covering her in wasps? What sounds most fun to you?”

“What about fire? Isn’t that basic enough that I shouldn’t need an incantation or spell circle?”

“Yeah, fire is a pretty basic skill, but you are far beyond basic without even trying! We can definitely start with things that burn though.”

“Please, no! I’ll do anything, please, just let me go! I won’t tell anyone, I promise!” Jackie screams.

Bill lets out a terrifying, yet endearing, laugh.

“Bitch, you think you’re going anywhere, or getting any form of mercy, after what you put my Pinetree through? No way in all of hell!”

That statement makes a smile erupt across my face. His Pinetree.

“Anyway-”

Bill gets cut off by Jackie screaming like a banshee.

“HELP! PLEASE, SOMEBODY, HELP ME!!”

BIll snaps his fingers, and the gag replaces itself in Jackie’s mouth.

“One, did your mother seriously never teach you that it’s rude to interrupt someone who’s speaking? And two, did you seriously think that would work? We’re in the middle of the forest, in a basement that is several dozen feet underground, and you literally heard me say it’s soundproofed. How can you seriously be that fucking stupid?”

I burst out laughing at that ridiculous stunt, as well as Bill’s nonchalant and offended reaction.

“As I was saying before somebody rudely interrupted me, fire magic is fairly easy. Most demons worth their salt can do it with their eyes closed. All you have to do is think of fire, heat, and anger, and you should get your own magical fireball in the palm of your hand.”

“I think I can do that.”

I reach out for Jackie and wrap my hand around her forearm. I think of everything she ever did to me, all that hate, all that fuel, and metaphorically light the match. I can feel my palm hand heat up and Jackie starts trying to scream. I pull the gag out of her mouth again, and her screams of pure agony fill the basement.

“Perfect scores again, Pinetree! You are fantastic at this magic thing.”

I pull my hand off of Jackie’s shoulder and see a bright red blistering burn on her arm where my hand was a few seconds ago.

“That’s a lovely mark, Pinetree. Your hand was only there for a few seconds, so that means your fire had to be pretty hot. That’s a good sign.”

Jackie’s screaming has reduced to pained whimpers and sobs. How pathetic.

“I’m going to heal that burn, but only so it won’t get infected.”

Bill walks over to the chair and gently presses his half-gloved hand to her burn. A green light radiates off of his palms, and I watch the burn fizzle away.

“Damn, I liked how painful that looked,” I say with a pout

“I know, I know, but hey, we can’t use her as a rat if she’s dead,” Bill replies, pulling his hand off of her arm.

Jackie’s sobs turn into muttered thanks, and Bill looks at her with disgust.

“Don’t thank me, I only healed you so Pinetree could hurt you more. Shut up for probably the first time in your life you selfish little girl.”

Jackie’s eyes fill with more fear and tears than I thought possible.

“Aww, poor thing. How sad,” I tease with faux sympathy.

“Now,” Bill starts, whirling on his heel to face me, “What should we do next?”

“I don’t know actually. What time is it? Do I need to get back to the shack and start working again?”

“That’s… a good question actually.”

Bill snaps and a gilded pocket watch appears in his hand. He pops the lid open and looks at the clock face.

“Well, shit. It’s almost five thirty. You should get back to the shack soon.”

“That sucks, I was having so much fun!”

“I know, but this is an excellent opportunity to teach you how to teleport. It’s an incredibly useful skill, and it should make your life a lot easier from this point onward.”

“Alright, teach away!”

“Teleporting can be pretty complicated if you’re doing rapid fire, or are going somewhere you’ve never been before without following a magic signature, but lucky for us, you just need to teleport to your room at the shack. Just envision the place you want to go, and snap your fingers or clap your hands, and boom, you’re there!”

“Seems simple enough, but I do have one more question. Do I need to sleep any more? Cause if I do, that might be a wee problem.”

“You don’t need to sleep for as long as often, but you should still aim for a couple hours each night to get your body and mind used to the whole ‘not a human anymore’ thing.”

“Alright, thanks! I’m gonna try the teleporting thing now.”

“Good luck!”

I envision the shack, and then I ‘zoom in’ on my room. I then clap my hands once, and after a dizzying storm of colors and lights, I’m back in the shack, right next to my bed.

FANTASTIC job, Pinetree! You literally only could have done better if you had landed in your bed.

Well that’s lucky.

Luck has nothing to do with it, Pinetree. You have raw, untapped magical skill. It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen. This is with a few hours of practice, at best. Imagine how powerful you’ll be in a couple centuries!

That’s a nice thought. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay? If I want two hours of sleep, then I should start now, so I wake up nice and early tomorrow.

Alright, sweet dreams, Pinetree!

Those last words echo in my head as I drift off, and I enter those sweet dreams. I can’t help but think Bill is responsible.

Chapter Text

After a couple peace filled hours of rest, Shooting Star barrels into my room like a deranged bull covered in glitter glue.

“Bro-bro! Grunkle Stan says to be downstairs in five minutes if you wanna eat before work!”

I groan rather loudly and roll out of bed, albeit reluctantly.

“I’m up, I’m up. Now get out so I can change.”

She trots out of my room and gently closes the door behind her.

I stretch and walk over to my closet. I wonder what my best course of action would be regarding my mission. Obviously I have to make sure I stay on his good side till the final hour, but how to get there? I know he’s rather self centered, and easy to fool, but how do I get him to spill all the useful information he has before Bill plans to start Weirdmaggedon? When does he even plan on that happening? How much time do I have?

Till the end of the summer. I’m aiming for right before your birthday, however, you have until the very last day if you need it.

Thanks for the timeline. I think I should be able to get most of the valuable information from him before my birthday, but I think I’ve got a good idea to give me an edge and give me a little more time.

Oh? What’s this plan you’ve been cooking up?

Start Weirdmaggedon whenever you had it scheduled for, but give me a little while to squeeze out whatever information he has left at that point while he’s under pressure to try to stop you.

That’s a wonderful idea! Truly, a brilliant mind you have yourself, Pinetree!

Glad you think the plan is sound. One request? Will you talk to me while I’m working? It’s always been boring dealing with tourists.

Of course! I understand how mundane average people are.

Thank you, Bill.

I put on a random T-shirt, some distressed jeans, and some sneakers, and walk downstairs.

“Mornin’ kid. Have some breakfast and go stock the shelves before I open.”, Fez orders grumpily.

I grab some cereal from the pantry, and go to fix my breakfast, when Shooting Star pops up behind me and shoves some strange concoction under my nose. One wiff and my eyes immediately start watering.

“Mabel, what is that?! It smells like something died in nail polish remover!”, I shout, turning my head away from the concoction as I plug my nose.

“It’s my new and improved formula for Mabel Juice ! Wanna try some?”, She asks, holding up a neon pink liquid in a jar with floating plastic toys in it.

“Uh, no thanks, I already have a drink for breakfast. Wouldn’t wanna waste anything!”, I hold up my glass of orange juice.

I hastily gather the rest of my breakfast while Shooting Star whines. I don’t care that I’m not human anymore, I’m not drinking something like that. How does she even get it that color? Is that stuff even safe for consumption?

Probably not for the average human, no. Trust me, I’ve poisoned a lot of humans.

Sounds about right. How does she even drink that stuff?

Probably built up a resistance at a young age. You probably did too if she made you drink stuff like that often.

I’m immune to Shooting Star. That’s nice to know, isn’t it?

Everything and anything is nice to know, PInetree. Trust me on that, if you have an opportunity to learn something, do it. Always do it, even if you don’t think you wanna know, cause I promise you do.

Okay, I’ll remember that advice, Bill. Thank you.

I eat the rest of my breakfast with no conversation from Bill. But for once, it’s a comfortable silence, one of mutual understanding and comfort.

I finish up the last of my meal, and put my dishes in the sink before grabbing my name badge off the counter and heading to the shack’s gift shop to stock up the shelves and unlock the back door.

The first tour group comes through right as I finish setting up the register to buy the shoddily made souvenirs.

I’m gonna be honest here, kinda respect the scam Fez is running here. I’ll never get used to how easily humans just blatantly lie to and trick each other. They’re like dumber demons without magic.

Yep. As someone who’s had the misfortune of dealing with humans my whole life, it’s kinda sad how willing they are to hurt each other for basic personal gain. But I suppose you’ve had more experience considering you’ve been making deals with humans for thousands of years.

Yep. I can remember the cults who would sacrifice many animals and sometimes people for simple favors. I was never one to really like how messy it was, plus a body doesn’t even give me anything, so I would still end up taking something from them. What a waste of life.

Sounds just like humans. I mean we practically sacrifice-

Whoa, whoa, whao. What’s all this ‘we’ business? Pinetree, you’re not human anymore. You never even really participated in humanity. You were never social, you never blended yourself, you never followed norms or trends. By all social and now even physical counts, you were never really human, you just happened to be born one. And now you’re a demon, helping take over this planet. Do humans often betray the very essence of humanity?

Huh… I guess you’re right, aren’t you?

I always am! Oh! By the way… I had a wee problem with our little ‘house guest’, and her...um… whole hand may have been chopped off.

What did she do?

She somehow escaped the restraints while I was still down there, and I didn’t notice her follow me up the staircase until I got the door open when she tried to choke me out. She obviously lost that fight, but I lost my temper.

Oh, it’s fine. She had that one coming, plus it might let me advance my magical abilities. Do you still have the hand?

Of course I do? What do you wanna know? How to reattach it?

No, I’m not that boring. You know how she pissed me off last night and I made vines grow?

Yes, why? Where’s that mind of yours going now, Pinetree?

I was thinking I could try to make her a replacement hand out of plant matter. Wood, or maybe hard vines would be preferable.

Clever idea! And if she could actually control that hand, and better yet, use it as a weapon, with a little brainwashing she could become an excellent tool.

Ooh, I hadn’t thought of the weapon bit! I was mostly focusing on an autonomous hand.

But why did you wanna know if I kept the hand? Do you need a model or something?

No, no, I’ve got plenty of hand models, I wanted her hand as a trophy.

Trophy, eh? Oh Axolotl, you are one of us! You;ll get your trophy, don’t worry.

You really are amazing, Bill, thank you! Do you actually know any spells like that?

Not personally for plant matter, no, but I do have several books on plant magic in that collection in your room, a few in my personal collection, and I know quite a few demons who can perform magic like that if we can’t figure it out with the books we’ve got.

Does that mean you can make false limbs out of something else?

Yep, mostly pure energy, but so it doesn’t explode the body I put it on, it usually flashes lightning too.

Okay now I’m tempted to hack off my hand so you can replace it with that.

Don’t do that, Pinetree. I’m serious there.

Okay okay, my limbs are staying firmly attached to my body. Wait, does tone come across through this method of communication?

Yes, yes, don’t worry, I know you were joking. And as fun as pain is, do you know how hard it is to cover those up?

Fair, fair. Plus what would we do with the severed hand?

I don’t know, feed it to a dog or something?

That’s a waste of a perfectly good hand though!

True. But what else would we hypothetically do with your severed hand?

We spent the rest of my shift debating back and forth about what we would do with my severed hand. As strange as a conversation topic it is, it was a great way to spend the time.

Okay, as fun as this debate is, my shift is over. Now I’ve gotta spend the rest of my day buttering up Sixer, and I can’t lose my shit laughing at seemingly nothing. Talk to you tonight?

Time’s up? Au Revoir then, Pinetree! See if you can get anything good outta him.

Later, Bill? 

Of course!

I toss my nametag into the basket by the breakroom, and walk to the lab. It’s showtime!

Chapter Text

I rush down to the lab to continue my mission. Sixer needs to trust me with every morsel of information he has, we can’t risk losing that information, but he’d rather die than ever join Bill, so we have to be a bit more underhanded with our methods. I can’t fail, it’s too important.

I knock on the lab door, and wait for Sixer to welcome me in.

“Who is it?”

“Dipper, Sir. You told me you’d like a bit more of my help cleaning up the portal, and someone to assist in your experiments?”

“Oh, yes, come in my boy!”

I push the door, and it creaks open. Sixer has flipped up a welding mask, and is wearing large heat proof gloves.

“I’m trying to save some of the more valuable parts of the portal, they can definitely help with other projects. Do you know how to weld or solder circuits, son?

Don’t call me that.

“Of course! It was my main job on the robotics team. What exactly do you need me to fix?”

He holds up some fried, but otherwise intact, circuit boards.

“These. They’re pretty strong, and capable of storing large amounts of data, and could be extremely helpful. Think you’re up to it?”

“Definitely. I just need to run into town and buy myself some new equipment, I didn’t bring mine.”

“That’s fine, hurry back though. I don’t know how long these will take to fix, and we have other things to do.”

“Yes, Sir!”, I shout, dashing out of the lab.

Now, to the cabin. This could be a great opportunity to bug his computers and install some internal spyware into the hard drive. I really, really hope Bill has the stuff I need, I only have so long.

Bill!?

Yes? Find something? 

Possibly. Do you have hardware bugs and ways to install some spyware into some motherboards and hard drives? He wants me to fix some.

Great move! Get to the cabin as soon as you can teleport, I’ll have whatever you need.

Fantastic! I’ll be there in five minutes.

I rush out of the shack in the direction of town, but hook a right into the forest once I’m out of view. I snap my fingers, and after a dizzying moment of swirling colors, I’m at the cabin door.

I turn the knob, and run to my room, slamming the door behind me. But once I get there, he isn’t in the room.

Bill? Where are you? 

The lounge left of the front door, Pinetree.

Oh, okay!

I pivot on my heel, and run to the lounge as he directed. When I get there, little computer chips and drives litter the coffee table.

“So what exactly do all of these do? We really only need spyware and maybe a little malware to slip up some of the functions.”

“Agreed. So, I have a fine selection, and some tools that can help you hide them.”

“Perfect. So which things are what?”

After a detailed explanation, Bill sends me back to the shack with the tools in a generic plastic store bag. I teleport back to the path to town, and run to the shack as fast as I can.

I burst into the lab, panting, and hold up the bag.

“Found the stuff, Grunkle Ford!”

“Good job, my boy! Now hurry and get to work, son.”

Ḭ̟͎̍̿͌ ̧̱̻̺̉͊̃s̡͙̪̘̝͆͑̕͝͡a͔̽i̤͖̠͛͐͗d̹̐ ͈̯̿̂ḓ̨̡̈͘͝o͎͙͓̒̊̇ n͎̠̼̝̉͒̐ȯ͇̙͉̠̬̿͞t͍͗ ̞̖͎͍͊̋̓̓͘͢c̫͕̫͌͛͝a͔͘l̝̐l̼ ̡͓̭͍̀̽͆̕m̫̊̚͟é̖͕͖̳̉̇ ̧̛͕̖̬͓́̽́ṭ͎͍̄̍͐h̝͔̖̓͊̚a̢̠͂̔t.̗̕

“Yes, Sir!”

I sit there, fuming as I work. How dare he? He stumbles into my life through sheer coincidence, and he thinks he can act like him ? I don’t think so. I have to keep my temper in check, I can’t risk screwing this up. Bill needs this to work. I need this to work.

I carefully slide every chip into place, hiding them in plain sight. I have to work quickly, or something will seem off when I’m done. I can’t risk him seeing me.

After three hours of straight soldering and pushing each bug into place, I’m finally finished. I hand the repaired motherboards to Sixer for him to inspect. He looks them over for a minute, and sets them on the cluttered desk.

“Good work, son. I’m impressed with your range of skills at this age. Now go take a break, all that slouching isn’t good for your back.”

You wanna know what also isn’t good for your back, old man? H̘̟̲̳͉͑̿̊́̿a͇̦̎͛V͙̥̦̍̾͒i͓̜͛̈N̠̙̗̙̅̈̄̚g̞̱̰̫͊̊̄ ̬̣̓͝Y͖̥͉̝͇͋̑̋̇̚o̡̯̺̍̀͝Ȕ̺̖͈̅̃ŗ̺̗̊͑̒͜͞ ̢̪̮̖̌̉̈́̈́Sp̜͙̐̍Ǐ͓͎̲͒̇n̛͖̪̺͈̼͛̌̽̇Ė̗͎͉͋͊ ̛̮͍̘̻͑̿͝ŕ̝̠͕̾͝I̫̊̏͛͟͢p̨̛̳͇͌̏P̙̋ȩ̹͚̽͗͡D̛̝̮͂ ̨̟̒͠oUt̻̜̓̑̎͜ ̜̈́b̢̘͕̫͛̓̚Ý̢̦̰̅̓ ̠̠͛͊̍͜bI̘̽l̝͓͔̼͛̌̾̕L̲̙̗̋͂͋͠ͅ ̦͎̭̈̈͘C̳̣͖̓͘͟͡i̱͑P̻̥̮̈́͊̒͜͡h̤̿́͟Eř͍͎̖̍͂!͎͐̒ͅ 

I need a breather from that pompous asshat. Yeah, no shit, working for three hours straight isn’t good, but it’s not like I’m human enough for it to matter!

K̢̑î̗̤͖̑͝l̩̘̘̬͛̋̕l̯͔͌̌ ̠̞̘̽̒̐ẖ̳͙̈́͑̋̽͟i̧̧̢̯̼̿̋̔͋̅m̡̅̽̽͜͜ k͎̦̤̲͐̓̈͋i̧̎l̳̞͚͍͗̊̌͌l̡̠͑̎ ̡̛̻̣͋͗͜h̟̃ǐ̬̻͈̦̿̉͝m̮̙̫͌̋̐ ̟̘̿͘k͇͔̗̻̈̎̇͌il̝̥͓̄̋͊͟͠ļ̛ ̗̫̅͡h̹̮͎͍͆͐̆̂im̢̰͉͆̈́́̚͢ k̜̲̘̅̆i̮͙̬̅̃̅ḻ̰̈͒̈́ͅl̠̙͛̎͐͜h̘̭̱͗̒͘i̜͔̽͛m̩̰̺̻̒̋̑͘k̬̇i̹͂́͜l̻̍͆͜ļ͇͕̭̈͌͑͗hi̤͔̮̹̽̑̈́͞m̧̖̬̪͛͗̾̔̕͜.

Pinetree.

Bill? Huh?

You need to calm down. Your magic is gonna spiral out of control, and we can’t afford that. And considering your limited knowledge on controlling it, it could really hurt you. So breath, Pinetree.

I pull a shaky breath into my lungs, desperate to regain control. I can’t let my temper ruin everything. I can’t allow it.  I.  Won’t.  Allow. This.

After five minutes of breathing and shaking, I finally got calm enough to really think straight.

There we go, good job, Pinetree. How are you feeling? Do you need me to help you keep your temper in check with Sixer?

Yes, please. If I blow my top everything will be ruined. We can’t risk that. I’m sorry, now I’m wasting your whole day keeping me in check.

Hey, it’s fine, Pinetree. This mission is important, and your first. Plus, you know have huge amounts of magic coursing through your body constantly. It takes a while to get used to, and Sixer is frustrating to be around. You’re fine.

I’m fine? Are you sure?

Yes, Pinetree, I’m sure. Now, one more deep breath, okay? Now, can you go back for me? I’ll be right there the whole time.

Okay. Thank you, Bill, seriously.

Don’t mention it. Now, let’s do this!

I walk back over to the vending machine and punch the special code into the keypad. The door swings open, and I make my way back down the stairs.

Remember why we’re doing this, Pinetree. They’ ve hurt you. 

Jackie.

Underestimated you.

Stanley.

Used you.

Stanford

Betrayed you.

Mabel.

So, remember why you want this. Why you want to hurt them back. I can promise, it’ll help your temper.

Oh, trust me, I remember. I want to burn them.

You will, I swear it. All you need to do is be patient. This suffering will make your vengeance ever more satisfying.

Yes. Yes, you’re right. I’m ready.

Good.

I open the lab door, and walk back in, ready to get even closer to this old fool. 

Ready to dance, Bill?

Let’s tango, Pinetree.

-Nix

Chapter Text

Despite the little hiccup this afternoon, the rest of the day with Sixer went well. He didn’t really think anything useful, just drabble, but he didn’t notice the changes to the motherboards he gave me.

I’m sitting in my room reading that book from the library Bill gave me when dusk falls. The sun disappears behind the horizon, and I call Bill. 

I consider today a success. Anything else happen with Jackie? Any more limbs hacked at?

Nope. After the loss of her dominant hand, she calmed down. Ready to come to the cabin? I’ll put a mirage if you are.

Yeah, go ahead. Lemme just sneak out first. Can’t have two mes in one place!

Fine, fine. Just hurry, okay?

I stand up and stretch my arms and back, pick up the book I was reading, and I snap my fingers. In sync with the click, I show up at the cabin door.

Before I can even touch the doorknob, Bill flings open the door and wraps me in a tight hug. After a moment of surprise, I return the embrace. He’s warm, and surprisingly comforting.

“I’m sorry your day was such crap, Pinetree. I wish I could have done more.”

“Don’t worry about it, okay? You did help, remember? Besides, this is my mission.”

“Doesn’t mean I’m not partially at fault for what happened today. I threw you into a situation with a very egotistical man, coursing with energy, and didn’t warn you.”

“Well then consider yourself forgiven. Shits bound to happen, we’re planning a planetary takeover.”

“I…okay, Pinetree.”

He releases me from the cozy hug, and smiles at me. If I was sane, it would be a creepy smile, but I’m not, so it was really more of an endearing grin.

“Ready to learn how to replace our little rat’s hand?”

“You bet. To my room?”

“We can start there, and if we don’t find what we need, we can check my personal collection. Hmm… but there are a lot of books…”

Bill goes silent as he tries to think of a valid solution, muttering about some sort of spell.

“What about the mindscape? Doesn’t time freeze there?”

“Yes, sort of. It works a lot slower, but not a complete stop. Though I think it might give us enough time to go through everything. Great thinking, Pinetree. My head was more at speed reading spells,” he laughed nervously.

“Eh, sometimes the best solution is the simplest one. Let's get this party started!”

“As you wish, Pinetree,” he announced with a snap of his gloved fingers.

And then the world twists into a grayscale landscape. The only colored things in sight are Bill and me, with both of us now looking disgustingly vibrant. Bill stands out more than I possibly could, with his bright yellow and golden accents, like a shining ray of unfiltered joy and chaos amongst the utterly disappointing order and mediocrity. He’s amazing.

“Pinetree, are you gonna come inside? You’ve been spaced out for a minute, are you okay? Do you need food?”

“Wait, demons need food?!”, my voice laced with panic.

“What? Yes! Oh axolotl, come inside, you need to eat now! Human food isn’t as good for you as demon food, but at least it keeps your body operational! Did you seriously only eat a half full bowl of cereal in over twelve hours, just to keep up appearances?!”

“You never mentioned needing to maintain my physical body, or even how demons worked! I assumed you guys were just pure energy and ate cause you wanted to!”

Bill grabs my arm, and drags me into the house. He hooks a right, and makes a beeline for a very impressive looking kitchen.

“Okay, well consider this me telling you. You need to maintain your body and magic, and the easiest way to do that is to eat. I can’t believe I glossed over that, I’m sorry. Now what do you wanna eat, Pinetree? It’s demon food so it should be more filling. And don’t even try to weasel your way out of a full meal.”

“Okay, okay. Umm… I like pasta? Just any pasta, and maybe some garlic bread.”

“You got it! Anything you’d like to drink?”, he asked while tying on an apron with some text I can’t read on it.

“I don’t know, surprise me. And why are you cooking? Can’t you pull stuff out of thin air?”

“I can, but I’d rather cook for you. And it makes the food taste better anyways.”

“Oh, cool. Any way I can help? It seems unfair that you’re doing all the work.”

“All you have to do is sit at the bar and look pretty, Pinetree,” as he winks at me.

I feel my face flush at the comment, but I still walk over to one of the bar stools and sit down. Feeling thoroughly safe from prying eyes, I let the human disguise drop. It’s like a refreshing breath of chilly air. It felt so good to get rid of that stupid human again.

“See? Already feeling more comfy! Now, I’m giving you something new to drink. It’s a sort of demon cocktail, meant to boost magic. I’ve cut most of the alcohol out, but drink too many and you still might end up a little tipsy. Ready to try?”

“Hell yeah! What’s it taste like? I wanna know what to expect.”

“It tastes sweet and rich, kinda like a really decadent chocolate cake. It also feels warm once it hits your belly. I think you’ll like it!”

He slides me a martini glass filled with a smoky purple liquid. It has a garnish of a human eyeball on a toothpick too. 

I pick up the toothpick and pop the eyeball into my mouth. It’s soft and squishy, and has a coppery tang to it, while also having a nice saltiness too.

“Straight for the garnish, eh? Don’t blame you, it's the best part.”

“Yeah, it was good, I need to eat more of those haha!”

I raise the glass to my fanged mouth, and take an experimental sip. It’s just like Bill said, sweet, warm, and rich. After the eyeball, it’s a welcome contrast. I take a bigger sip, and let the drink wash over my tongue before swallowing. Then the aftertaste hits. It’s bitter, and empty, but still enjoyable. I’m assuming it’s whatever alcohol Bill put in this.

“Do you like it? The aftertaste can be a bit iffy for those who aren't used to the taste of alcohol.”

“I love it! I think this is my new favorite drink, seriously! Is there a way I can disguise this so I can drink it at the shack?”

‘Of course! But don’t have too many, or you'll blow your cover. I’d recommend three a day, max, for now, okay?”

“Okay, okay, no more than three a day, I promise!”

Bill and I continue to chat about nothing and everything while he cooks. After what feels like an hour, but was probably no time at all, Bill sets a big bowl of spaghetti and a large plate of garlic bread on the bar counter. He walks to the bar stools with some plates and silverware, as well as a drink for himself.

“Dig in, Pinetree!”, he shouts with a big grin.

I grab the serving spoon and pile a large serving of the pasta onto my plate, and grab a slice of garlic bread too. I twirl my fork around in the dish, and then I take the bite. Oh axolotl, this is delicious! I don’t think I’ve ever had a meal this good before! And apparently that reads on my face, because Bill lets out a small chuckle.

“So I take it that you like my cooking?”

I frantically nod my head while eating more of the delicious pasta.

“Okay, that’s good to know. Don’t choke, Pinetree.”, He laughs while taking his own bite of the dinner.

The two of us eat in comfortable silence, until a question occurs to me.

“Bill, you mentioned a difference between human and demon food. You’ve already mentioned that human food won’t harm demons, but what about the other way around?”

“Humans eating large amounts of demon food leads to insanity, and total obedience to almost any demon in an attempt to get more. Small quantities consumed out of necessity are harmless, if not, maybe causing a cold. Why?”

“So you’re saying that if we, say, fed Jackie demon food, she would slowly lose all her stability and become loyal in attempts to get more?”

“Yes, but Jackie isn’t good to test that on now. She won’t trust any perceived kindness we offer her, and it will be too long before the food affects her for it to be useful. I like where your head’s at, though!”

“So it could work if we were a bit more cunning about getting a human to eat it?”

“It definitely could, we just have to choose someone fairly weak-willed. It’ll be the fastest way to get good results. Any ideas?”

“No-one in particular comes to mind, but I’m sure if we actively look for weak humans, we’ll find them. They hide behind a strong one that they managed to befriend, who now tries to protect them from themself. It’s sad, but effective.”

“That part of humanity has always confused me. Why would you spend so much energy and resources to protect weak ones who can’t even say ‘no’?”

“The protector usually gets the benefit of having the weakling as a lapdog or extremely loyal, no matter how wrong they may be.”

“That part is similar to demon culture. If another demon were to save my life or crown, I would owe them all I am. Any prize they want would be theirs, without question.”

“So they could even take your throne as a prize? Even if they worked to save it?”

“Yes, theoretically. But if they were strong enough to stop something I couldn’t fight, they could take the throne after my death, so I don’t know why any demon would. Seems too tedious.”

“That’s true. Still, what if the prize they ask for is something you literally cannot give them by free will? Like promising you’ll always feel a certain way, or something that you gave someone else?”

“If the prize they want is something like that, there’s a magical contract promising that it will be so, unless the other gift was a prize for the same thing. However, any demon worth their salt won’t let themselves be indebted to more than one, ever. They’d kill themselves before they could take more than one debt.”

“Sounds like demons. Are you in debt?”

“Of course not, Pinetree! In fact, I have a large number of demons indebted to me, and many more to come.”

“Am I one? You’ve effectively saved my life, given me magic, and gave me a high seat in your court, after all.”

“Absolutely not! I do not take debts from those who do not know demon customs or are trying to help me. While I have no doubt you might have ended up dying by your own hands if you hadn’t craved vengeance instead of peace, you chose vengeance. Your life has not been endangered. We are equals.”

“You’re claiming me, a human until two days ago, as an equal? Are you sure this won’t cause you problems?”

“I won’t let it. Every thing of darkness, every thing of chaos, and pain, all of them respect me as their ruler. My decisions are final, and what I say goes. I will claim you as equal publicly once you’re done spying, and they will treat you as such if they value living.”

“I…thank you. Thank you for the honor, Bill. I will do all I can to live up to that title.”

“Huh, I like that. ‘Dipper, equal to Bill Cipher!’”

“I guess it is an impressive title. Though I don’t think I’ll continue going by Dipper, unless a reason arises.”

“Fair. Those who gave you the name are cruel to you. Are you done eating? We’ve got some research to do!”

“Yeah, I’m done! Let’s do this.”

Bill tosses the dishes into the sink, and leads me up to my room. This is gonna be a fun night!

E̷̻̟̝̩̝̼͉͖̟̼͈̙͉͊͆̋͑̅̿̍͆͐̃̈͘n̴̗͍̼̻̪̲͖̘̥̬͆̅͆̏͌͂͑̌͋̾̆̾̍͠i̴̟̩͙̘̬̖̮̫̙͒̾́͌̿͆̄̃̿̚͜ͅm̷͈̟̯̲͇̭͊͌̈́͝ͅ ̴̧̢̫͇̤̰̞̼̟̽ṣ̵̢̡̞͎͎̘̓̈͂̍͑̾̀̈́͗̌̓i̵͉͌̈ ̵͎̯͎̘̜̬̘̤̋̈͊͆̿͗͑̊̿͘͝ë̵̻̘̳͍̹͚́̾̎̆̈́̃́́̈͠ḩ̷̠̙͈̟̩̬̼̞̈́̑.

Chapter Text

Bill and I have spent what feels like hours tearing apart every plant magic book we could find in his collection of tomes older than time. We’ve gotten close, vague ideas of how limb replacement is done, but nothing specific, and not doing things correctly would make Jackie a useless test subject. So, Bill tears through all the non-English books, and I devour the English ones. The workload isn’t the fairest, so I pipe up.

“Bill? Is there a way you can teach me all these other languages, quickly?”

Bill’s head snaps up, and his face flushes a bright red.

“I-, uh, yes, technically, but it’s not something I think you’ll be comfortable with-”

“Bill, I just ate an eyeball with dinner. What could possibly make me uncomfortable about learning languages quickly? This workload isn’t fair at all, I want to be useful.”

Bill sighs face still a bright red, and he nods.

“The fastest and easiest way to learn all these languages is to...um… kiss someone who knows all of them. It’s an old demon spell, engraved in every demon since the very first of us. So I understand completely if it’ll make everything awkward, and I don’t mind doing more! And you are useful.”

Now my face tints with pink. No wonder he’s redder than a tomato.

“I mean, if it’s j-just a little peck, I’m, uh, sure it won’t get uncomfortable! It’ll let me help, and I could understand more complex magic faster, but if that's a ‘no’ from you, you can just teach me another way!”, I somehow managed to stutter out.

“No, no, this is the most efficient way, and it’s not like we have to do more than a simple peck on the lips, but I didn’t think you’d be okay with the idea.”

“No, it’s fine! It’s just a peck, it’s not like it has to mean anything! It’s for efficiency! If you’re okay with it, we can.”

“I, uh… okay, um… on three?”, He suggests, voice starting to layer out of anxiety. 

I nod and scoot close enough to actually be able to kiss him.

“One.”

He smells nice.

“Two.”

He’s so close

“Three.”

Contact. A simple peck, but it sets my whole body on fire in the most pleasant way. After a far-to-short moment, we both pull back as quickly as we connected. I whirl my head to the other side so he can’t see my face. It’s redder than I ever thought possible, and I feel so hot, I feel like I’ll combust any second. I raise my hand and cover my lips with it. My heart is going so fast, why is it going so fast? The kiss didn’t mean anything, so stop freaking out!

I manage to calm myself after an unreasonable period of time and turn to face Bill, who is holding a book in Latin. He avoids my eyes while handing me the book.

“Can you see if you can read it?”

I take the book from his nimble hands and flip to the first page.

“ Plant Magic and How To Simulate Organic Matter ”

“Okay, so it worked. That’s good. Do you want a drink or something?”

“Yeah, I’ll take a drink, thank you.”

Bill teleports away, and the pit in my stomach still hasn’t filled. He was soft, and warm, and tasted vaguely of wine and sugar. Why do I feel this? We both agree it meant nothing, it was a kiss of convenience. I turn my attention to the book and decide it would make a good distraction.

The book is obviously very old, yellowed pages, rips, stains, every mark of a book older than anything I’ve ever read before. I carefully open the cover and gently turn to the first page. Two minutes ago, this would have been gibberish, but now it makes so much sense. I don’t understand how I can read it, but I can. I bury my head in the ancient pages and start reading.

After a few pages, Bill pops next to me, holding out a steaming mug of… something. I grab the mug he offered, and set it on my knee to help balance.

“What is it? The drink I mean.”

“Just tea, with plenty of sugar. I know you’ve got a sweet tooth, so I thought you’d like some sweetener in your tea.”

“Yep! I can’t stand tea or coffee without sugar unless I’m just drinking it for the caffeine.”

“Seems like you. Anything useful in that book yet?”

“Not yet, no, but I’m only a few pages in. It’s mostly the introduction.”

“Alright, back to work I go. Lemme know if you want more tea, okay?”

Fully absorbed in the book, I responded with a mumbled, “Hmm, ‘kay.”

We go back to our silent reading, the workload a lot more even now.

Bill and I tear through every book we found on plant magic like ravenous vultures, desperate for answers. It feels like hours, but it’s probably been almost no time at all. We’ve found a few, ‘almost’ answers, but nothing concrete enough to actually try. It’s getting kind of frustrating, not having the answers I so violently crave. And who knows how much tea I’ve had.

“Wait, I think I found it!”, Bill exclaims, interrupting the somewhat awkward silence.

“Wait, seriously? Lemme see!”, I respond, overjoyed that our search is very possibly over.

“Yeah, c’mere! Look at this, a whole chapter on forming plant matter into shapes and using those shapes as tools!”

I scooch closer to him to read over his shoulder, eyes fleeting across the ancient pages with bated breath.

Bill holds the book in such a way that I can easily read it and flips the pages when I need him to.

“Bill, this is exactly what we need! You found it!”

“Finally! Now, let's go try what you’ve learned on our little rat, hmm?”

“Yes, please! It will be worth all this effort to see her face when a tree becomes her new hand!”

“Then after you, Pinetree.”

We stroll down to the basement, the book firmly in my hands. As much as I loathe Jackie and what she stands for, screwing this up means more work. Honestly, I’m just trying to learn every magical skill I possibly can before Weirdmaggedon. 

Bill and I walk to a very somber Jackie. I mean, I can’t imagine losing a hand would be pleasant, but she kinda did it to herself. At least we’re feeding her.

“Jackie, we have something that could possibly give you a new hand, but you’ll need to cooperate, otherwise you’ll probably lose your whole arm, alright?”, I say in an attempt to keep her calm. As much as I’d like to scare her, the book said the mark of the spell has to be relaxed for any prayer of success.

“....why?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Why would you. You kidnapped me, and are very clearly planning on torturing me. Your friend cut it off. So why would you give me a new one? Why are you being kind?”

“Okay, this is not kindness. This is an experiment designed to help me with magic. It just so happens to slightly benefit you. I’m doing this because I want to, and I can. Is that clear you ungrateful rat!?”

Jackie flinches and frantically nods. 

“Glad we cleared that up. Now, give me your arm. Oh, and I highly suggest against trying anything. One slight wrong move from me, and you’ll probably turn into a tree or something. Generally a poor idea.”

Jackie slowly places her arm in my hand, and tenses slightly.

“Relax. This shouldn’t hurt, but I could certainly mess up if you’re too tense.”

Her arm slightly relaxes, and I know that’s probably the most relaxed she’ll get while I’m touching her. I place my other hand over the wrapped stump and carefully push my magic towards my fingertips. I recite the incantation like the book said, and slowly pull my fingers back as roots and small branches start forming into a hand-like frame. Jackie’s eyes widen in wonder, and I finish the spell. It isn’t perfect, and her pinkie finger is slightly deformed, but it should be functional.

“Go on, try to move it.”

Jackie clasps her new hand into a fist, then wiggles each of her fingers.

“You did it! I’m very impressed, Pinetree. Only slight, and mostly cosmetic flaws. Full marks from this demon!”

“Glad I’m living up to your expectations, Bill. Now Jackie, put your arm back where it was so I can restrain you again. You won’t like what happens if you try to fight.”

Jackie looks like she’s about to try to break for it, but she glances at her new hand, and begrudgingly puts her hands back in her lap.

I tie her up again, and Bill and I leave the basement.

Sl, Ebspsxp! Lmw pmtw aivi ws wsjx, erh li xewxih ws tivjigx! M ger'x jygomrk aemx yrxmp li'w jmreppc qmri!

Chapter Text

    As Bill and I climb the staircase back into the main house, Jackie’s pathetic sobbing is just barely audible. I have no idea if it’s relief, fear, hopelessness, or a combination of them. Either way, it’s annoying. She always was a spoiled crybaby, even when we were little. I honestly shouldn’t be surprised at her. 

“Why is she like that? You’d think she would be a teeny bit more grateful to you. You’re the one who wanted to give her a new hand.”

“Nah, I didn’t expect any better. She’s always been like that. Daddy bought her the newest Porsche? It’s the wrong color, and now she wanted a Tesla. Daddy even bought all her grades, so I’m not even sure she can read.”

“That’s pathetic. Well, soon money won’t buy anything anymore, so hopefully, there won’t be any more brats like her to ruin lives.”

The smallest smile pulls on my face, as I glance at Bill.

“Soon we’ll be the ones ruining lives!”

Bill splits one of his gorgeous sharp-toothed smiles. We reach the door, and he strides in front of me, opening it, gesturing for me to go first. I nod to him in thanks as I pass through the threshold, and turn to wait for him.

“You should go home soon, Pinetree. We did a lot tonight, and despite us being in the mindscape, it’s still been like four hours.”

“Fair. Can we at least have a drink together first?”

“Yeah, sure.” He turned towards the kitchen and makes a “follow me” sign with his hand. I walk closely behind him, hoping I'm not at an uncomfortable distance. 

    “Do you want the same drink you had earlier, or something new?”

“Something new. Maybe a bit lighter?”

Bill nods with a gentle hum, turning into the bar.

“So what flavor are we wanting here? Fruity, earthy, umami?”

“Earthy-slash-fruity. Not as fruity as those drinks at bars, but I don’t like beer or anything like that.”

Another hum and he starts shuffling bottles around, setting a few on the counter, and putting others back into place. He pours several amber liquids into a metal shaker, and then two very bright red ones, before mixing, and pouring the beverage into an iced glass.

“Here ya go, Pinetree. A blood-cherry cognac. I hope you like it!

I take a small sip, and the flavor washes into my mouth. It’s exactly what I wanted, subtly sweet cherry, and mellow cognac, but with a special Bill twist. I can taste the blood, and it’s perfect with the rest of the drink. I pull the glass away and sigh happily.

“I take it you like it?”

“Absolutely. It’s perfect, Bill, thank you. What are you going to drink?”

“Probably another martini. They are my favorite, after all!” Bill waves his hand, and there’s the same swirling purple concoction, with the same delicious eyeball garnish. Bill walks back to the stools and takes a seat next to me. He glances at the eye and picks up the toothpick, offering it to me.

“But I thought that was your favorite?”

“The whole drink is my favorite, Pinetree. Now take the damn eye.”

Looking at him, then the eye, I lean forward and bite it off. I lean back once it’s in my mouth, and start slowly chewing, trying to savor it. Eyes taste so good! I look up, about to thank Bill, when I notice the look on his face. Still holding the toothpick, his face is all red, and his jaw is practically on the floor.

“Bill? Are you okay?”

“Oh! I- um, yeah. Yeah, I’m fine!”

I look at him one more time, and then swallow and grab my drink. 

“If you’re sure,” I say, taking a sip. 

“Anyway!”, he said, tossing the toothpick. “Get any ideas for some new tricks while we were combing through all those books?”

“A few. Mostly combat ideas, however, I’ve got a few less aggressive ones. It seems like I should learn some basic alchemy with plant magic, though.”

“That’s a good idea, but maybe after the takeover. Alchemy is incredibly complex, and I don’t use it enough to be able to teach you on my own. I can probably get a master alchemist on the horn once we solidify our rule.”

“That’s probably the best course of action. In the meantime, I can learn more general magic.”

“Speaking of, I was thinking of teaching you some lighting magic. You have the matching personality, and it could prove helpful.”

“Hmm, sounds interesting. We'll figure it out tomorrow night, okay? Right now I just wanna relax.”

“Oh, trust me, I get it. I don’t think I’ve ever read that much on plant magic. Ever.”

I snort while I lift my glass again.
“I don’t know if that makes tonight sad or impressive.”

“Honestly? Both.”

    After finishing our drinks, Bill walks me to the door, pulling us out of the mindscape when we arrive.

“Goodnight, Pinetree. You’ve got more work ahead. Also, actually eat tomorrow, or I swear.”

“I will, I will, promise. Goodnight, Bill!”

With that, I teleport back into my room at the shack. Even though very little time has passed in the real world, I’m exhausted. I kick off my shoes and flop onto my bed, not even bothering to change.

Pinetree, your disguise. Put it back before falling asleep, just in case somebody comes to wake you up.

I groan into my pillow, not wanting to do anything else. But it’s important, so I do it anyway. The stuffy coat is back, and I’m about to pass out. It’s hard to tell, but as I slip into unconsciousness, I could’ve sworn I heard Bill say something.

    My alarm starts screaming at exactly seven in the morning. At least I can count on something other than Bill.

Rude.

Not what I meant, and you know it.

I sit up and crack my neck, swinging my legs off the edge of my bed. Finally standing, I lazily waddle to the bathroom. A shower sounds so nice right now, and it gives me an excuse to prolong my peace.

Don’t take too long, you need to eat soon.

I know. And don’t watch me shower.

Showering with Bill, however, would be a different story. But I don’t let myself think about that long enough for him to hear it. I turn the knobs, making the water nice and hot, tossing yesterday’s clothes into my hamper. It’d be so easy to just snap away the dirt, but I need to have laundry to do. I step into my steamy shower and relax under the warm spray. This feels as nice as I thought it would! I pull my shampoo off the edge of the tub and squirt some into my hand. Rubbing the soap into my hair, I remember something about last night that I was too tired to notice.

What did you mean by last night when you said I have a matching personality to lighting?

Oh, that? You’re like lightning with the way you strike. There’s very little warning, and even then, you don’t know where it’s gonna hit. 

Hmm. Makes a little sense, I think. Do you need to have a compatible personality for lighting magic?

Most types of magic need a user who has a complementary nature for the best effect. There are a few exceptions, like fire and blood magics, but I think that’s because most demons match that anyway.

Interesting. So someone who is irritable and hot-headed wouldn’t be the best match for ice spells?

Yeah, they wouldn’t work out too well for that person unless they’re really skilled. 

So are demons sorted into magical categories?

Nope! Almost every demon is compatible with two or more types of specialized magic. You don’t have just one personality trait, after all. And most demons can do at least some non-specialized magic too. 

What sort of magic isn’t specialized?

Things like teleportation, levitation, illusions, and similar stuff. Basically, if it doesn’t create anything, it’s not specialized magic.

Okay, I think I get it.

Honestly, no demons really care what type of magic is being used. They care about skill. Hell, before I took over, dream magic was vastly considered useless. Yet here I am, a dream demon with complete control over every single dark creature in existence!

What made them think dream magic was weak?

I guess they didn’t realize dreams also mean nightmares. Expose enough powerful people to their worst nightmares, and they do anything to make it stop. And those who wouldn’t back down are locked into their own dreamscapes. It’s also a great tactic to get allies. Show them that you can make their biggest dreams come true, and they’ll follow you forever.

So you really do have an ironclad grip on your dimension, huh?

My influence reaches beyond my current plane of existence. Ever heard of the Illuminati? Seen the pyramids?

You made all of that happen? Why??

Cause I was bored.

That…checks out, yeah. 

I chuckle to myself as I turn off the water and grab a towel. Changing the course of humanity forever because he’s bored is a very Bill idea. I start drying myself while walking back into my bedroom, rubbing my hair when I get to my closet. I should probably pick something simple and comfortable today, who knows how much manual labor I’ll need to do. I yank out a pair of jeans, a random T-shirt, and my navy hoodie. Dropping the damp towel on the floor, I start getting dressed when Shooting Star slams into my room, without knocking.

“Bro Bro, break- OH SWEET LORD!”

She whirls around, slamming the door behind her.

“Mable! What the hell?!”

“Sorry! Sorry! I thought you were asleep! You should seriously start locking the door, man!”

“You should try knocking when a door is closed!”

“Well, anyway, breakfast is almost ready! So, uhm, come eat when you’re done.”

“Yeah, sure. Bye.”

And with that awkward exchange over, I hear her footsteps pad away. I may hate her guts, but that situation is always embarrassing, for everybody. I should still start locking that door though, or it could get ugly. Once I’m finished getting dressed I go downstairs and into the kitchen where Fez is serving up some sausage and eggs. At least it’s not pancakes with hair in them. I pour myself a glass of orange juice and grab a plate.

“Thanks, Grunkle Stan. It looks good!”

Fez grunts in reply, before looking at me.

“Hurry up. Ford wants you in the basement all day, so you’re off gift shop duty.”

“Oh, alright. Do you know what he wants me to do?”

“Not a clue.”

And with that, my morning is silent once more. So Sixer wants me all day? Wonder what he wants exactly. We don’t have that much more cleanup, so what could possibly make Fez agree to let me off work? I quickly finish my breakfast and toss my dishes into the sink before making a bee-line for the vending machine. Whatever it is, I need to look and sound eager, like a kid who’s working with his favorite celebrity. It’s kind of sad, actually. My whole summer I dreamed of meeting him, what it would be like to be his apprentice, to work with him, learn what he knows and how he knows it. Well, you know what they say, never meet your heroes.

    I knock on the lab door before opening it and walking in.

“Hi, Grunkle Ford! I was told you need me all day? I didn’t think we had that much cleanup left.”

“Hello, my boy! And yes, you’re right, we don’t have too much more cleanup to do. I wanted to thank you for your assistance in dealing with the mess, so after we finish, I’m taking you on an adventure with me! There are many things I was exploring before this whole mess, and I’m sure things have changed in thirty years, so I'm sure we’ll have fun.”
“Oh really! That’s awesome, Grunkle Ford! It’s gonna be so great to go on an adventure with you!” 

“I’m glad you’re so excited, son. Now go pack us our bags, just the basics right now. Food, water bottles, flashlights, etcetera.”

“You got it! Where’s your bag?”

“Behind me, on my workstation. Hurry back, so you can help finish up.”

“Yessir! I’ll be back soon!”

As horrible as an ‘adventure’ with Sixer sounds, it’s imperative to build rapport, and it could be helpful to know exactly how much he knows about the falls. I grab his bag and rush into the stairway.

It looks like your old dream is taking new life, Pinetree.

Don’t remind me. This is gonna suck, isn’t it?

Probably. It’s in our best interest to keep him far away from the cabin, so if you can, gently suggest that you two go somewhere that isn’t the forest.

Got it. Any ideas? You’ve been in his mind before, so anything he hasn’t studied? 

Maybe the alien ship in the ravine?

The WHAT in the WHAT?!

Well, not really alien per se. More like an alternate dimension.

….I’m glossing over all of that. So try and aim him towards the ravine?

If you can. Don’t suggest anything unless he asks you to. Let him lead, and just try to push him away from the cabin. Just in case, I’ve cloaked it to look like an especially dense patch of trees, but still not a good idea.

Got it.

I come back through the vending machine, run up yet another flight of stairs to my room, and grab my bag from by the door. There’s too many stairs in this house. I speed back down and start packing each of the bags. My bag already has my flashlight, and a few other supplies like a compass, a book on edible and poisonous plants, and a couple of other things. I toss two water bottles into each bag, some trail mix, and some more one-hand foods before grabbing the spare flashlight for Sixer’s bag. I stop for just a second, then grab two thermoses, filling both with hot coffee, and adding plenty of sugar to mine. I hope Sixer likes black coffee. I finally get to go back to the basement, bags in tow. I open the lab door again and announce my return.

“Grunkle Ford! I’m finished! And I brought us coffee!”

“Oh, thank you, Dipper. It’s been so long since I’ve had a decent cup of coffee. It’s black, right?”

“Of course! I don’t know how you liked it, so black is the best choice.”

“Perfectly done, my boy. Now hand it to me.”

I do as I’m told, outstretching the hand with his coffee in it. The second it’s within reach, he rips it from my hand and starts chugging.

“Good coffee. Now please hand me my bag. I need to pack a few more things into it, then we can finish what little work is left.”

“Oh! Yeah, here’s your bag, Grunkle Ford.”
He hums and gestures to what remains of the mess, so being the ever-obedient little helper I am, I go to finish cleaning it up while he drinks his coffee and writes something in journal four. Standard behavior for a narcissist. I’m surprised his name isn’t all over the journals, honestly.

Yeah, that would be my doing. He thought I wouldn’t be able to recognize his work if he purged any mention of himself.

That’s really the best he could come up with? Did he even move?
Nope. I genuinely have no idea what he thought was protecting him.

Maybe it’s a good thing he’s not on our side…

I finish up my work and turn to look at Sixer, expecting more instructions.

“Oh, you’re finished? Good, good. I’ve just been thinking about where we should go today. I have a fair list of theories, but there’s safety in revisiting a subject. What do you think, son?”

Perfect question, Sixer.

“I’ve heard rumors about something odd in the ravine, and there’s been talk of some sort of foreign ship if you’re interested. I was actually thinking about taking a look before the whole portal situation.”

“The ravine? I’ve never worked there much. I always gravitated more to the forest and the creatures within. But I suppose some new scenery is exactly what we need.”
“Great! I was a bit nervous to go on my own in case I fell or something. Mabel wasn’t interested in coming with me.”

“Well then it’s her loss if there is something interesting down there, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, I guess. Do you think we’ll need climbing gear?”

“Most likely, unless there’s another way down. There should be some gear in the closet upstairs, by Mable’s room. Grab plenty of rope, and there should be a spare harness and helmet, so grab those too. Quickly, son, before it gets too late.”

I nod and run upstairs again, bolting in the direction of Shooting Star’s room. I’m going to be out of energy by the time we get to the ravine at this rate. Can he get anything on his own? Well, no matter, as long as he trusts me with every secret, every taste of knowledge. Anything to help Bill. I grab the climbing gear from the closet, and head back downstairs, to the basement. Whatever it takes, no matter how hard it is, I’ll do it if it means Bill gets this world.

Chapter Text

Hi guys. I know it’s been forever and a damn day since I’ve updated, I’ve just had some stuff going on. I’ve lost any and all motivation to write, at all, but I know that this fic was well loved. As such, I’m going to be giving it to the first person to show interest in continuing it, as well as all of my notes and planning, and any unfinished chapters I’ve written. I know this is disappointing, and I genuinely have no idea what will happen once this fic is out of my hands, but I think giving it to someone else will be better then just leaving it to rot away. Again, I am so so sorry it been so long, but I’m hoping I can let Betrayal thrive in someone else’s hands. I am hoping to continue writing oneshots and stuff, but until this fic gets adopted out, don’t expect any more updates.
(Please excuse any typos, I didn’t have my beta reader look over this before posting)