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Language:
English
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Published:
2020-12-13
Words:
413
Chapters:
1/1
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2
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An Interrupted Romance

Summary:

"A night elf rogue falls in love with a tauren druid when they are out on a hunt. Unfortunately, they cannot tell each other they love each other because a constipated high elf keeps making the situation awkward."

Notes:

This is from a series of ficlets inspired by strange prompts from Pronkbaggins. Also yes I understand that night elves and high elves don't get along but constipation brings everyone together.

Work Text:

Closing in on a deer, CoffeePot the night elf rogue left stealth form and lunged in for the kill. A nearby bear was quicker. CoffeePot watched as the bear morphed into a female tauren and examined the deer's corpse. 

"What was that for?" CoffeePot asked. 

"You're awfully close to Horde territory," the tauren said. 

"That wouldn't be such a problem if your kind didn't invade everything it could get its hands on," CoffeePot scowled.

"Hm," the tauren said, her ears perked as she lifted her head. "If you had kept running in pursuit of the deer, it's very likely you would have run into that hidden Forsaken encampment up ahead. But I believe I can hear them moving further away." 

"You... Saved my life? Why?" CoffeePot asked.

"I was in the right place at the right time." 

"I don't even know your name."

"It's Windows 95." 

"Well, Windows 95, my hunting partner is going to arrive in a second. I would appreciate it if you could give me a moment to explain this to him." 

"Oof, that flask of oil did nothing. Got any other ideas?" A high elf walked into view from behind a few bushes. 

"Faelin, I need to introduce you to someone..."

"I mean, I heard Khadgar's whisker is good for a plugged up butt. I don't think we can find any here, though."

"This tauren just saved my life."

"Oh. Really? Thank you," Faelin said. "Sorry about the introduction, I just haven't pooped in days and I'm at my wit's end."

CoffePot buried his face in his palm.

Windows 95 nodded. "We have some remedies for that. Let me see..." She rummaged through her bag and handed Faelin a flask. "I have a small Elixir of Ease if you need it."

CoffeePot watched as Faelin downed the elixir in one gulp. Windows 95 may have just saved his life, but was she completely trustworthy? He wanted to trust her, with her large, kind eyes and her long eyelashes. He had to admit, he had never seen such a beautiful tauren woman...

As CoffeePot and Windows 95 met eyes, there was a sound of flatulence and grunting. CoffeePot whipped his head around to hear some bushes rustling.

"Oh, that's the stuff!" Faelin shouted.

"You have to excuse him..."

"I understand," Windows 95 said.

"We were just going to head back to our village, would you like to come with us?"

"Sure, I..."

- PBBBBBT -

CoffeePot screwed up his eyes in embarrassment.