Archive of Our Own ^beta

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"Where the hell are you? Everyone's wondering where the hell you went and I don't know what the fuck to say... Did you really have to storm out like that, God.... Call me back."

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"Luke, seriously. Call me back."

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"Look, I'm sorry. Just call me back."

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"Hey, so I know I called less than I minute ago but I want to let you know that I know what I said was fucked up and if I were you I totally would have left too... Wow- I fucked up. Okay anyways yeah like I was saying, I know what I said was fucked and that you have every right to be mad but like... I don't even know what I'm trying to say, fuck... I guess... I don't know just come back. So we can talk. Yeah. Bye."

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"Luke, it's been thirty minutes. You're not even gonna answer my texts? I see how it is... Anyways, where are you? I'm kinda sort of starting to get worried here... Well I hope you're not far."

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"Hey. Everyone left except for Calum and that's only because he's blackout drunk on our- the bed. They all wanted to say bye. Call me back."

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"Do you even have your phone on you right now? Are my calls going into space right now? Don't answer that, actually. I know you're ignoring me. I kinda deserve it. Fuck that I really deserve it. No I'm not drinking. Call me back."

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"I lied. I'm on my third glass of whiskey. This stuff is fucking gross but it's keeping me busy. I'm sorry. Call me back."

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"Listen, Hemmings. It's been- fuck- eight hours! Wait, no three. That's better. I guess. I'm sorry. I can't think straight. Call me back."

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"Hey. It's midnight, now. I just finished the bottle. My head hurts and I'm tired. Please, just call me back."

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"Hey- fuck! Ow- oh my god... Fuck, fuck fuck, fuck! Shit, my finger... Oh my god. Fuck-"

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"Hey, I'm going to the hospital. I don't know if you even care at this point but if you do come back, Calum is asleep on the bed. Give him some water. If you come back. See you."

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"Hey! Are you home? Probably not... Anyways, they gave me ten stitches. I'm okay now, if you were wondering. Call me back, or something."

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"Hey, Luke! Voicemail number... Who fucking knows... Anyways, wherever you are, please, stay safe. I know you're mad but please don't do anything that could get you into trouble. Wouldn't want to end up like me, huh. Oh yeah, I'm still at the hospital, waiting for the bus. I hope I'll see you soon. Stay safe."

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"Hey, I just got back. You're not here... It's almost five in the morning so I hope you're at least sleeping somewhere safe. Calum's fine too. He's kinda worried. I told him you'd be back soon. Hopefully. Call me back."

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"Hey. I can't sleep... Please come back. It's not the same without you. Please, call me back."

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"Hey. I know I called five minutes ago, but I just wanted to let you know that I miss you. And I... I love you. Call me back. Please."

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"I wasn't lying."

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"I fucking love you so much and you're making it so much harder for me by not being here. Please just come back."

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"God, you're probably deleting these as soon as I finish... I just want to know that you're safe."

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"Twelve hours is a long time, Luke... I... I don't know. I have to walk Calum home. I hope you're back when I am. I love you."

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"Hey. Calum said that you'd be back and that I was overreacting but I'm really starting to lose hope here. I know I fucked up but I want to fix it so please just... Give me a sign at least. I love you."

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"Hey. I'm so fucking hungover right now. I don't know why I'm telling you this but I hope you're safe."

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"Luke, it's been a day. Where the hell are you?"

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"I guess you're not coming back. That's okay, I guess. I wouldn't."

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"I'm sorry."

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"Okay, so I swear I won't call you after this. I'll even delete your number if that's what you want. Sure, I have it memorized but whatever... Anyways, I'm so fucking sorry for hurting you I don't even know how to put it into words... I know my apologies may seem a little insincere right now but I really am, Luke. I've spent the last twenty four hours tearing my fucking hair out. I'm trying to give you space but I don't want to give up on this because I love you so fucking much and I'm so fucking sorry for fucking everything up, as usual. I'm sorry I made you feel unimportant. I'm sorry I made you feel like you're less than perfect. I'm so fucking sorry that I don't have a fucking filter and can't keep my fucking mouth shut and that you don't feel loved I'm sorry, Luke. For everything. I'm sorry I made you waste your time on me and I understand completely. Just know that I love you so fucking much... I'm sorry. Goodbye, Luke."

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"Hey, Michael. I'm sorry for leaving like that and not calling you but, my phone kinda died and I wasn't ready to swallow my pride and go home, so I went to Jack's. I heard your voicemails... I don't want you doing these things to yourself because of me. I'm not worth it. And don't worry about me, I'm safe. I'm on my way home right now so we can talk. I was thinking of spending the night at Jack's but I can't do that to you. I'm sorry and I miss you so much already and it hasn't even been four hours... Hold on. There's this guy trying to talk to me. Let me see what he wants... Oh sorry, mate... No, I don't have any on me. Have a nice night. Anyways, as I was saying, I'll see you when I get home. I... I love y-"

Voicemail failed. Please, try again.

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"Hey... I really don't know why I'm even doing this. I- They let me hear it. The voicemail that was saved onto your phone that night... My number was the last one you dialed... I thought you were mad at me, Luke. Fuck, I thought you hated me. I thought you were ignoring me when really you were lying in a pool of your own fucking blood for Lord knows how long! They said it wasn't instant. You were lying in some dark alleyway in pain... All alone and I wasn't there for you, Luke. I should have gone after you. I should have done something. Oh my god- you're gone. You're actually gone. I'm never going to see you again... Why did I wait so long to tell you I love you? Dear God why did you make me so fucking stubborn? You never got to hear the words coming from me, Luke. You never got to hear me say that I love you... You never got to hear me say all the things I should have said but was too fucking scared to. You were it for me. I was sure of it. I'd never been so fucking sure of something in my life and now... This is how it had to fucking end! They never even found the fucking bastard who did this to you and they probably never will. It's not fair... He took you away from me. You were my everything. We were supposed to travel the world together, get married, or some shit, adopt a cute baby and grow old together. We can't anymore. You're dead and I'm not a necrophiliac... That wasn't funny. I'm s- there's no need to apologize anymore is there? I... That was Calum. We're actually heading to your burial... I don't think I'm ready to say goodbye again. I never even got to say it to begin with... Our cab driver's getting impatient. I have to go. Call m- right. I'm sorry. Goodbye, Luke. I love you."

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