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Hanako did NOT want to be there. He did NOT want to be around Tsukasa. He did NOT want to be around most of Tsukasa’s ‘friends’ as all except for Sakura— who was pretty chill —made him sick. But, he agreed that if Tsukasa left him alone on Christmas Break, he would help him and his ‘club friends’ decorate for the holidays.
Now, Natsuhiko and Sakura were discussing who would be most fit for which job. Natsuhiko couldn’t let a minute go by that he wasn’t at Sakura’s side, so he was sitting at her left as they reviewed who would be doing what. Sakura would be tagging along to whatever Natsuhiko’s job was, they both figured out. Soon, they both agreed that Hanako AND Tsukasa would be at the club room, cleaning the old room to make space for trees and decorations of all kinds, while Natsuhiko and Sakura go to find some old decorations in the attic, and Mitsuba goes to make some holiday-themed treats.
“Me and Natsuhiko will be going to get some ornaments,” Sakura stated. “And Mitsuba will be making holiday-themed donuts... as well as keeping the Mokke busy.” Mitsuba huffed, and complained that they only gave him that job cause he was ‘too cute’ and the Mokke have been wanting someone as ‘cute as him’ to become a Mokke for a long time— but went to do that job anyway. Natsuhiko and Sakura had already set off for the school storage.
“Don’t destroy the place while we’re gone!” Natsuhiko had exclaimed, before following his lady and shutting the door behind him.
With the only other members of the broadcasting club— and only things separating Tsukasa from obsessively flying around Hanako 24/7 —all gone to do their individual task— Hanako realized this was the worst agreement he had ever made in his life. And was already ticked off.
“That leaves just you and me, Amane!!” Tsukasa exclaimed, jumping up on his big brother and nuzzling him closely. He adored his older brother, never wanting to be apart from the person who he loved most in the whole world.
Though, Hanako was the exact opposite. “Just get to cleaning. Okay?” He shoved his brother away. And then went to cleaning and moving around all the radios in the broadcasting room to make room for the decorations Sakura and Natsuhiko were supposed to be bringing up any second now.
Tsukasa nodded eagerly. “Okay big brother!” He said, giggling and went to cleaning. But within ten seconds he was talking nonstop. “What do you think the theme should be? Do you think we should have the same homemade theme we went with when we were still alive with mama and papa? Or a more modern theme? What about food? I’m hungry! I want cookies! Do you want cookies Amane? My tummy hurts- can you make cookies? I know that daikon girl and exorcist boy can cook! Can they make us cookies?! Oh Amane this will all be so much fun!! Amane Amane Amane-“
“I wish you would have stayed dead.” Hanako said, not showing any remorse to his little brother with the words he spat out. He was so irritated with his brother- so he said whatever he could think of that would make him shut up. “You’re such a pain. Can you please shut up while I finish this? I don’t want to even be here. Especially not with you .” He glared at Tsukasa, looking like he was on the verge of completely losing what little patience he may have once had for his baby brother.
Tsukasa stopped for a moment- pausing his cleaning of the Broadcasting room before turning around to his big brother. Eyes wide and filled with shock and, hidden beneath, a lot of hurt and pain. “...What? Amane this is for us-“
“Shut up already.” Tsukasa froze at those words. “And leave me alone.” Hanako didn’t stop his cleaning, he continued doing the work assigned to him. Before muttering under his breath, “I hate you.”
Tsukasa started shaking. He had tears forming in his eyes and he tried to force his quivering lips to form a smile and stay on his face. “A- Amane... A-“
Hanako shouted at the younger boy, “MY NAME ISN’T AMANE, YOU IDIOT!! I AGREED TO HELP WITH YOUR STUPID CLUB THING SO JUST LEAVE ME ALONE ALREADY!!!” He yelled, looking pissed off. On instinct, he pulled out a knife and looked like he was ready to stab Tsukasa- forgetting for a moment who the young ghost actually was. Forgetting how the young ghost was on the verge of tears. Forgetting how he was already shaking and terrified of his big brothers anger.
“Ah!” Tsukasa covered his head and knelt down on the ground, sobbing loudly, and panicking at the thought of his big brother hating him. Which he already did. Tsukasa began crying, tears flooding down his face, everything from the past beginning to finally take its rightful toll on how little Tsukasa viewed his older brother. Everything from their past- how the holidays were, how daily life was, how heartless the person he loved the most treated him daily. “... A- Amane- I- I mean... ah! Please don’t hurt me! I’m sorry! I- I—...” He choked on his own sobs, completely losing track of where he was and what reality was, and only remembering the years when they were alive and how... cruel and heartless everyone was to him. Everyone hated him. Everyone treated him like garbage. Even if it wasn’t to his face he KNEW even Amane thought he shouldn’t have been born. And the day he died.... that day....
Suddenly, the door was kicked open by none other than Natsuhiko, Sakura standing beside him. “I brought more decorations! Lets get this started-“ He was cut off by the sound of sobbing. What? It was the holidays? No one was supposed to be sad-
But... Tsukasa was. The kid was crying. He was on the floor and seemed to be having a nervous breakdown. Shaking, crying, uncontrollable breathing... His brother was holding a knife and looked like he had just lost his temper and made the little kid start CRYING and had NO REMORSE. Natsuhiko agreed that Tsukasa could be a lot sometimes and there were days where Natsuhiko wished nothing more than to put him in his place. But... this was too far. Tsukasa treated Hanako with all the love, affection, and admiration any older sibling could ever want from a little sibling... and Hanako just made the little kid CRY. And despite all this, Hanako looked like he was gonna start yelling again.
So Natsuhiko decided he would yell first. “WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HIM?! We’re gone for what- ten minutes?! And you make the kid cry!?? What the hell kind of big brother are you!?” He shouted, and was about to shout at Hanako more, but then Sakura placed a hand on Natsuhiko’s shoulder.
“This will not calm Tsukasa down. No. 7 can wait. We need to take care of Tsukasa first.” She said, voice calm as ever. Natsuhiko for once put his love for Sakura aside, and nodded. Knowing that what was best for the kid came first, at least right now.
“You’re right, my lady.”
He said in a firm voice, and walked over to Tsukasa, kneeling before the crying child. Sakura did the same, and gently placed a hand on the boys head. She said nothing, and simply took her other arm, and gently placed it on his cheek, wiping the tears from his face. Nothing they said could make what was happening to him alright. Nothing they said could take away all they terrible things Hanako said to him. Nothing they said could could change the past.
So they worked on changing his future.
Sakura gently rubbed her thumb on his face, wiping the tears from his cheeks only for more to come tumbling down his face, splashing on the ground and making a small puddle. The boy looked up from his puddle of tears, only to see through the two who were trying to comfort him and spot the boy who caused him so much pain. Holding a knife. Looking down at the knife and looking angry.
Just as he did back then.
The memories flooded Tsukasa’s mind.
“... My brother hates me... I am worthless... I have no value... I will never be loved... I should have just stayed dead... Amane would like me better if I was dead...”
~*~ Over Fifty Years Earlier ~*~
“Amane! Amane! Amane!” A little, still living Tsukasa ran up to his brother, hugging him from behind, holding onto his older brother as he wrapped his legs around his brothers frame and cuddled him closely. “Amane! School was great today! You should’ve stayed!! The teacher gave us free time and I drew a picture of you!!” He let go for a moment, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a folded up piece of paper. Unfolding it, it showed a badly drawn doddle of Amane & Tsukasa with the words “I love my big brother” written in red crayon. “... Do you like it?”
“Yeah yeah it’s nice, Tsukasa, now please shut up. I’m busy.” Amane was walking away from his now saddened little brother. Amane was recently beaten up at school, which was why he was brought home early. Only to be lectured and beaten up further by his own parents. Amane now took a seat that the kitchen table, and faced the wall. Thinking. He looked serious and upset by everything that happened to him that day- including his little brother simply trying to be happy, and sharing such joy with his brother.
“B- but brother... I wanna help you! Come on, we can beat up those jerks together!”
“I’m not in the mood, Tsu. Leave me alone.”
“Come on! It will be fun!” He grabbed his brother by the wrist and tried to pull him away from the table.
“I said leave me alone, Tsu.”
“No!! Big brother I wanna play! And this will be extra fun play!”
“Leave me alone.”
“No! It will be fun!! Trust me!”
“I said LEAVE ME ALONE!!!” He ripped his arm away from the much weaker twin and then proceeded to slap him across the face.
Tsukasa fell back against the counter, nocking over their old tin with all the kitchen utensils to the ground on front of the now curled up, terrified Tsukasa.
“...B- big brother...” He whispered in a meek, quiet, shaky voice. “... I- I- I th- think you l- lost y- your temper... a- again...” He stuttered, a small sob escaping his lips. He didn’t want to appear weak but he did. Which only set Amane off more.
“Shut up!! Just shut up already for once in your life!!! I fucking hate you!!” He completely lost it. He couldn’t see or think anymore. All he knew were the years of shouted at and abused. All those years of being yelled at and ridiculed and treated like garbage by everyone finally hit him as he mercilessly hit the only person that was ever nice to him. The only person who genuinely cared about him. The only person who never thought once Amane was anything other than a good person, and worth loving and protecting.
His own baby brother.
Was now being beaten and stabbed to death.
By Amane. His own older brother.
He finally got out of his rage-induced haze by the sound of his twin coughing up blood.
“A-“ He choked up blood. Vomiting the red liquid all over the kitchen floor. As Amane brought the knife out of his chest. “-mane...” He finished saying the murderers name. “...” He looked up at his brother and saw what was happening.
He saw the shocked look on the elders face.
The tears pricking his eyes.
Heard the knife clatter to the floor and the panicked breathing of his elder brother as he realized what he’d just done.
“... I love you, big brother.” Tsukasa said with the biggest, brightest, most happy smile imaginable. He sat up, ignoring the pain in his tummy, and hugged the person who stabbed him. “... I love you... I will always love you...” Were the last words the little twin said before his skin went complete pale and the last drop of blood escaped him body.
Amane couldn’t hug back in time. He couldn’t say “I love you too.” In time. He couldn’t do anything besides cry on the dead corpse boys shoulders. He didn’t even try to. He still couldn’t believe what he had done. He knew sometimes when he lost it he would hurt, abuse Tsukasa, and Tsukasa would always say “it’s fine” because he knew he couldn’t control himself when he was like that. But it wasn’t fine. Tsukasa was traumatized and afraid and it was all because Amane couldn’t stop himself from grabbing a knife and silting Tsukasa’s arm open with it. Or balling up his fist and breaking Tsukasa’s jaw. Or kicking the younger when he was already down. Either with words or physically. Most times both.
One time, a year or so ago, he saw bruises in places he wouldn’t imagine anyone touching the at-the-time 12-year-old youth, and Tsukasa would say “dad touched me” but Amane knew better than that. Amane himself was a fucking mess when he lost it. And he did so many unspeakable things to his own flesh and blood.
And all his little brother- whose life he had just ripped away- said to him after being stabbed multiple times in his stomach, and told so many horrid things most his life, to his downright abusive brother was “I love you.”
~*~ End Of Flashback ~*~
Amane looked away from the scene. Trying to restrain his anger as best he could- though it was difficult. Even fifty years later.
Sakura saw this, and held Tsukasa gently to her chest, calming the small boys sobs and hiccups. When he seemed at least slightly stable, she handed the shaking boy over to Natsuhiko. “Take him somewhere to calm him down. And get him some food. He hasn’t eaten anything this week,”
“Y- yes I have!-“ Tsukasa exclaimed.
Sakura looked at him like how a mother would look at her child when she could tell he was clearly lying. “All you have doing is preparing for this day. Making plans, discussing ways to get him to agree to help decorate, and crying when you realize he will never agree to come over if you do not trick him. You refused to leave the broadcasting room until it was time to get your brother to come decorate. And all you talked about with us was your brother.” Whenever Tsukasa focused on something, he really focused, often meaning he missed various activities, including eating anything at all. And when it involved his brother, most times the memories that come with him made the smallest Yugi twin starve himself. “You did not eat.”
“... I just wanted Amane to play with me again...” Tsukasa said with tears in his eyes, knowing he had been starving himself.
Tsukasa looked down, and leaned against Natsuhiko’s chest. He stayed quiet. Natsuhiko gently held Tsukasa close, his heart breaking as he saw the saddened gaze in the kid’s eyes, or the limp, lifelessness in his touch. “... I’ll make sure he eats, my lady.” Natsuhiko said before turning around and walking away, outside the open door and down the steps.
The trio left, Sakura closing the door behind herself- but before she did, she looked to the eldest Yugi twin, with her ice cold gaze, “You have gotten what you wanted. Tsukasa will never bother you ever again.” She then slammed the door shut.
Tsukasa might be a pain in the ass, and need to accept that his brother doesn’t love him, but... nobody wanted this. Nobody wanted to see Tsukasa cry.
Amane couldn’t believe it.
“... Did I- did I just make Tsukasa cry?...” He looked away from where the door was, to the spot where Tsukasa had left a puddle of tears. “...I’m a monster... how could I have done this again-“
“MERRY CHRISTMAS!” None other than Mitsuba floated into the broadcasting rook through a mirror holding a tray of donuts with a sweet smile on his face- before seeing Hanako all alone in the room. “Huh?- Uhmm... Where is Tsukasa-kun? Or Nanamine-senpai and Natsuhiko-Senpai?”
Hanako looked away from Mitsuba. “They left.” He said simply, putting the knife away and continuing the task that had been assigned to him.
“... Why?! Tsukasa-kun adores you! I mean- you’re his older twinbrother, right? You’re all he ever talks about!” Mitsuba exclaimed, and it only made Hanako feel worse.
“I made Tsukasa cry... And the other two got angry. And told me to pretty much never talk to Tsukasa ever again, and the simp carried him out of here... while Tsukasa held onto him...” The boy paused, remembering what had just happened. “... He looked so small and helpless... I saw him... shaking and broken...” Hanako said, and held his head at the depressing memory. “... How could I have just stood there and said nothing. While my own brother was crying...”
Mitsuba, while setting down the treats in the broadcasting room, replied to Hanako rather bluntly. “Well, judging by what you said, it seems like all this was completely your fault.”
“Wow, thanks, you’re such a great help.” Hanako replied with a roll of his eyes, and went back to cleaning. There was no point in standing around, doing nothing, while the three people who practically own this place hate his guts... well, two of them do, anyway.
“I’m being serious!” Mitsuba exclaimed, “why do you hate Tsukasa-Kun so much anyway? He is a jerk to me and I don’t hate him. How could you ever hate him? He is so nice to you?”
“I know that!- I know how he is around me it’s just—“
“It reminds me too much of the past.” Amane wanted to say, but didn’t. He didn’t know why- but he didn’t say it.
And judging by Mitsuba’s next words, he did not have to. “You do know, that, Tsukasa-Kun went through a lot, right? He comes to us, CRYING , randomly in the night, yelling about his nightmares, his memories, his past- all these things that no one here is prepared to deal with!! Natsuhiko-Senpai manages to calm him down, of course, with the help of Nanamine-Senpai... but it would have been a lot easier if the person he was crying to us about, was actually here to tell Tsukasa-Kun that he doesn’t hate him.”
And with that, Hanako fell silent. Thinking over everything Mitsuba had just informed him was happening that he didn’t even know. That those three had to deal with so much and he didn’t know. Natsuhiko, Sakura, and Mitsuba were paying the price for HANAKO’S mistakes and yet they still allowed him into their club room, allowed him to help decorate for a holiday meant to be spent with loved ones, all for the hope that he could finally tell Tsukasa he doesn’t hate him any more...
And Hanako completely blew it.
Honestly, if Hanako was in Natsuhiko’s position, he would have been pissed off and yelling too.
“... I have to go talk to Tsukasa...” He turned around and tried to walk out of the Broadcasting Room, before Mitsuba grabbed his arm.
“What makes you think either of them would even let you ‘talk’ to Tsukasa?! What makes you think I will?!”
“Because...” Hanako paused for a moment. Why SHOULD any of them allow him to speak to Tsukasa again? He already had multiple chances to and he fucked up every single one. He already had his chance. And he made Tsukasa cry. Again. “...it’s my fault you are all in this mess. And I’m very thankful that you three— you, Natsuhiko-san, and Sakura-san —are taking care of my brother when I failed to. Thank you... I know I do not deserve to, but I would like a chance to make things right. If you, as well as the others, would allow me that opportunity.”
Mitsuba paused, his eyes widened, and then slowly let go of his arm, without saying another word.
“Thank you.” And then Hanako was gone.
——————————————————
Hanako appeared in the garden. He watched from afar as the two tried their best to comfort Tsukasa. He was just looking at the ground. Sadly. With tears he was trying so desperately to hold in. That look of pain it felt so familiar...
Hanako walked up to the group, and he could immediately feel the air tense as he approached.
“What do you want?” Natsuhiko was the first to speak, tightening his grip on Tsukasa, who looked more surprised than anything else.
“... I would like to speak with my little brother. Alone.”
“Not happening.” Natsuhiko responded without a second thought. Why leave a child all alone with the person who has seemingly done nothing but make him cry? That is insane!
Though, Sakura seemed to be able to see through Hanako, “You must speak calmly with him, Hanako. And don’t just bring up traumatic topics with him. He is very fragile right now. Talk with him as you would a kicked kitten.”
Hanako nodded. “Thank you, Sakura-san.”
Sakura nodded back to him, and stood up, giving Tsukasa an encouraging pat on his back, and gently running her hands through his thick, dark locks of hair. “Try and talk to your brother again, for me, okay?” She said, her voice far more gentle than anyone thought it could be.
Tsukasa looked up at Sakura. His amber eyes glowing wide with fear, and hurt, and deep down... hope that he would finally get to play with his big brother again. Just as they used to.
Sakura felt her heart hurt seeing that look. And simply turned away before she could hug him as tightly as she possibly could and change her mind. “Lets go Natsuhiko.” He stood up to her full height and began walking away.
“But my lady-“
“Now.”
They would still be within hearing range. Just out of sight and out of mind of the twins.
Who now stood alone. In the middle of the Kamone Academy garden. The wind blowing through their medium locks of dark hair, as Hanako held onto his hat, neither exactly sure what to say.
“... I’m sorry.” Tsukasa stated. And Hanako could feel a pang of pain in his chest. The way Tsukasa spoke, with sorrow in his voice, so shaky and quiet, like a child who knows what they did was wrong and genuinely is sorry for their actions.
And... Tsukasa was a child... he was Amane’s baby brother after all.
But... he did nothing wrong.
“No. You do not have to be sorry.” Hanako walked over to Tsukasa, and kneeled down in front of him, lifting up his brothers chin ever so slightly to face Hanako, instead of his shoes. “You... wanted to be with me so badly... and you did everything that you could to make Christmas as joyful occasion, just as it used to be. Thank you.” He said with a small smile. “It’s just... after everything that happened... over 50 years has passed since we had a real ‘merry’ Christmas, Tsu. How- how could it be life that again-?”
Tsukasa felt tears rolling down his face, as he began sobbing and quivering from the bench he sat on. “I-... I know...! I know it will never b- b- be th- the same again b- but... I miss it Amane... I miss it! I miss the tree, and the food, and playing in yard, and making ornaments and begging mama to get us the colorful paints as presents this year— I miss being happy!!!” Tsukasa exclaimed, everything falling apart as he remembered all the pain, and the hurt, and what he wanted deep inside... all those years ago... he just wanted to be happy with his brother again.
“... Oh Tsu, come here,” Hanako wrapped his arms gently around Tsukasa. Gently hugging him and holding him close to his chest. “It’s okay... listen... things won’t be the same as they were back then. That just isn’t how it works... but... that doesn’t mean it can’t be just as great as it was back then, even if it is different.”
Tsukasa looked confused by the last part, the little one not understand how anything could be good if it wasn’t as happy and fun-filled as it was back then. “Wha?? What do you mean, Amane?”
“Well, a lot of things have changed since then. We are trapped in school as ghost, and most people can’t see us. But, even so, we have friends now, don’t we. Sakura-san and Natsuhiko-san are your friends, right? And also Mitsuba. And you know my friends, the kid and the daikon girl? We never had friends before, but they’re a nice change, aren’t they? Okaasan and otousan are gone, but... they were never really there from the start, so, that’s probably a good thing,” He said, instinctively holding onto Tsukasa tighter when thinking of their ‘parents’. “... We are safe, loved, and not alone anymore, Tsukasa. And I PROMISE I will make sure we are together more often, especially when I know how much it means to you.”
Tsukasa took a moment to process the information, before completely breaking down and crying into Amane— Hanako— whoever he was!! Tsukasa adored his older brother no matter what name he went by. “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!! I love you, Amane!” He smiled brightly, and hugged the other tightly.
Amane smiled. “Now lets finish decorating the broadcasting club like you wanted, alright? It will be fun- just like you said!” Amane flashed him a bright grin. And Tsukasa returned the grin with snuggles.
The whole club then appeard, and joined Tsukasa and Hanako. In only a few, short minutes, Tsukasa was picking out his favorite holiday songs, as Hanako picked out the shiniest ornaments to hang on the tree, and Natsuhiko was stringing lights all around while Sakura tried to make sure none of them harmed themselves. And Mitsuba brought put his camera, and captured the moment to be forever preserved. And took even more when Hanako’s own friends arrived to celebrate the holiday season together.
“I love you, Amane!” Tsukasa said at the end of the day, as the moon rose up to make its rightful place above the school grounds. Shining brightly as it reflected in the twins amber eyes.
“I love you too,” The older brother finally replied, after 50+ years and death driving a wedge between them. And he meant it even more than he could possibly imagine.