Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It had been a few weeks since Technoblade took Tommy under his wing and under his roof, the first few days were a blur of commotion and chaos- Tommy is not an easy person to keep under control.

One day they decide to go on a supply run after checking on Techno's 'hound army.' (lol)
They walk for a long time, Tommy goes on and on about things that Techno can't really wrap his head around but just for a little while Techno cant hear the voices in his head over the sound of Tommys laughter. He says something about women and Techno laughs, for once in a long time his laugh isnt hollow and hes actually enjoying himself.

They don't think about L'Manburg or Dream or any of the danger they may face in the future, they dont think about their revenge agreement.
For a while Tommy is just the guy that Technoblade's best friend raised, and Technoblade is just the guy that shelters Tommy.

When they get home, Techno takes off his armor but doesnt ask Tommy to. He can when he's ready.
Techno goes to hand something to Tommy a little too fast and he flinches, not has hard as he used to though. Techno pulls back a little and waits for Tommy to reach out.

Later in the day Techno gives Tommy his own fur-lined cape since Tommy isnt used to living in the cold yet. Tommy never takes it off, he sleeps in it and doesnt even need a blanket anymore.
He feels like hes a kid again playing superheros, he dreams of playing with tubbo by his side but he can't quite make out his face.

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Read notes and summary for warnings
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During the first few weeks of Tommy's unexpected tenancy in Technoblade's home, he would take long walks around the biome. He didnt like being alone, it reminded him of Logstedshire and Dream. But this time was different.

During these walks he picked up rocks or anything he deemed sharp enough to drag across his skin, it disciplined him and he felt in control. It hurt, it reminded him of Dream but his mind told him it was for the best. He thinks Techno never found out but the blade noticed his sterile supplies and potions of healing he used for rehabilitating zombie villagers going missing.

After a while Dream stops lurking so close to the house and Tommy sleeps easier, Techno checks on him at night in his little cubby he made when he first got there. He never asked what Dream did to him but he didn't need to, he knew Dream had to pay.

When Tommy's hallucinations and nightmares get bad he sits in the front yard with a jukebox and plays the discs he has left; The ones that don't matter as much. Techno watches from Carl's stable to give him enough space but to still make sure he's okay. One day Tommy comes inside and gives the older man all his items and armor out of habit, Techno reassures him that his things- and his life, are his own.

On the days that the voices are too loud for Technoblade to breathe he locks himself in his bunker out of fear of hurting himself or more importantly, Tommy. While he's taking the time he needs, Tommy takes care of the blades farms and mobs. He takes inventory and even gets a few things for his business partner.

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after the fall of l'manburg, tommy and tubbo stayed together as they were meant to. they sat in awkward silence in the rubble dubbed "l'manHole". faint, dry chuckles left their mouths as they thought of the name.

"tubbo?" tommy broke the silence, it was a soft disturbance that echoed throughout the ruins of their country.

"yes?"

"how are you.... so okay?
after everything thats happened to you- to us... to our country?"

tubbo paused, unsure of what to say.

"i dont know. i was too busy being president I guess"

"too busy to notice i was gone" it was meant to be a question to tommy but it came out more as a reassurance to himself

"tommy, thats not what i meant and you know it."

"do i? you thought i was dead and didnt even bother to actually ask around to see if i had kicked the bucket. kicked my OWN bucket. tubbo, you thought i committed suicide and if im being honest i almost did. I ALMOST DID. do you know how much that fucking hurts? you didnt care, you didnt care enough to see if i was alive, you didnt care enough to visit me, you didnt care enough to help when YOU exiled me. the only one who cared was dream-"

tommy stops harshly, his breath leaving his chest. he stops breathing and squeezes his eyes shut, remembering the time he spent with the non-human entity. questions, threats, jokes and reminders fill his head so fast he gets dizzy: Tommy steps away from tubbo to catch his breath, he puts his hand to his mouth and the other arm around his stomach. he turns around and leans forward, letting out a quiet sob.

tubbo stays faced towards the newly carved abyss, not knowing what to say or how to say anything.

"i am a wreck. i am barely holding on by a thread and you have lived an entire life without me." Tommy chokes out, some words breaking into whispers.
"FUCKING SAY SOMETHING!" tubbo jumps, the voice knocked out of him couldnt respond.

"tubbo please. i cant be alone anymore, i betrayed technoblade because i couldnt stand being away from you. youre my best friend, please tubbo please please please please"
tommy turns again and moves towards the smaller brunette

"im sorry." a weak whisper falls from tubbos mouth, he feels as small as his words when he pulls tommy into a hug. his arms feel heavy as he clings to the one person who truely believes in him
"im sorry too." the height difference between them makes them feel a million miles apart, in more metaphorical ways than one.

theres voids in their chests that they try to fill with eachothers presence, even if they arent on the same page anymore its better to be together than to be on different psychical pages. they stand holding eachother in silence for longer than they can understand, tommy puts his head on tubbos and feels the softness of his hair.

tubbo surrounds himself in how tommys arms hold him, the warmth he gives off and the familiarity it all has- yet its been years since he's been this warm.

its good to be home.

tommys soft skin is riddled in healing scars and bruises, representing his spirit healing as well as his outside. his clothes patched with the distractions of the jokes and jester persona he displays, the voices in his head complimenting it.

its good to be home.

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the day dream was imprisoned was a triumphant day. sure; there were mixed feelings from some people but overall it was needed, they believed. the people only had a few things to go off of now, which was mostly belief.

life went on, the world spun, crops grew and all was well.

the day tommy visited dream in prison in order for him to get closure of the things he endured, the world still spun. outside of the prison that was containing the darkness was still light.

the day tommy was ressurected, silent screams rang from the darkness. his head molded to a new form from its broken state, blood dried, bones cracked back into place, his body was forced to restart after three days of them failing and rotting inside him. it was hell if tommy hadnt already seen it.

the darkness had lost him and saved him. tommy carried that darkness inside him from that day forth. he never believed he would heal now, if the darkness could heal what does that make it? some things are best left unanswered he guessed.

the day the pig visited the prison upon a false quest, a man grinned and the darkness stood in abhorror. how would he leave his containment now? leave this torture?
the darkness, the healer, the once praised, the self proclaimed savior didnt deserve this, he thought. after all, God doesnt make mistakes.

technoblade didnt believe in this God, he has his own. he wishes to have seen what put dream in this fragile body, with cuts and bruises littering his image. maybe he has received his judgement for the cruel acts across the land. the blade remembers the day he found tommy in the snow, what dream had done. although tommy betrayed him, he would never wish such misfortune on someone, especially a child.

how are children supposed to grow when they are unexplainably punished in such vile ways? ways in which that child wishes death upon themself in order to get better?

the day that the darkness and the pig gained a vistor, a serenity, the pig made a seemingly childish and selfish request. dream never understood why this request was so important to him. the request of a bell; a symbol of the pigs faith, a reason of requisition to not lose himself nor his faith.