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“I’m not sure I can do this again,” Lando says quietly.
“Oh?” Alex prompts carefully.
Lando’s legs swing as he talks, feet dangling. They only climbed up a short hill for the walk but the edge is still treacherous. Alex’s own feet are planted firmly on the ground.
“Another lockdown, I mean it’s hard, being on your own so much.”
Alex tries to imagine it but can’t, things might not be ideal right now but at least he and George have each other.
“You’re always welcome to make a bubble with us,” Alex suggests.
He doesn’t think Lando will accept, but understands that sometimes an offer is just as important as any action.
Lando smiles appreciatively but shakes his head.
“I’ll bear that in mind but it’s not quite the same, you know.”
They both glance over to George at that point. The other man had been taking some selfies before having to answer a phone call from his mum. If either Lando or Alex put some effort into listening, they would hear the usual enquires about what George had been up to and whether he and Alex were well fed enough.
Alex thinks of the ways in which he and George can get so wrapped up in each other at times. It can be easy to forget about the state of the outside world. Easier still to always meet up with friends with apologies on their tongues for not checking in like they should.
“You’re still speaking to that Carlos right?”
Alex shifts the conversation, it’s not exactly subtle but it’s a fitting enough conversation point to make sense.
“More messages than video calls just now,” Lando shrugs, “it’s kinda hard to make conversation when nobody has anything going on.”
That is something that Alex understands. Conversation seems to have taken on a humdrum, repetitive turn recently. Himself and George have been a couple for a while now, their friendship with Lando goes all the way to early childhood, and even their conversations have became reliant on rehashing their old karting days or drunken nights out.
“I just don’t see the point any more,” Lando speaks again before Alex could come up with a reply.
Alex squeezes his friends’ shoulder warmly, appreciating the honesty and knowing that there’s no real right answer he can give. He’s certain enough that Lando doesn’t mean the comment in a way that he could hurt himself, but also knows that doesn’t stop the feeling from being any less desolating.
He notices George coming back and has a feeling that Lando wanted this to be just between them. Respecting that, even if he doesn’t understand why, Alex offers Lando a hand up whilst giving a reply.
“I guess it’s like getting up the hill, it’s really difficult but you know that eventually you’re going to reach the worst at the top and then you can go back down and enjoy things.”
It’s a mangled, cliched metaphor and almost definitely no help at all. It still causes Lando to smile at him and give him a quick manly back hug in thinks. Alex decides he really needs to work on his support skills but hopes the fact he’s trying and cares, for now is enough.
Clearly fed up of talking about his feelings, Lando is the first to greet George, who has finally got away from his phone call. Lando jumps on his friends back with a laugh and demands that George carries him back down the hill, giving a poke to the ribs for emphasis.
George is topless because before he was talking to his mum he was busy taking photos at the peak, Alex wishes he was surprised.
For a minute George grumbles and groans about the weight of Lando on his back. Just as the other two think he’s going to shove him off however, George bolts, deciding that they’re going to sprint down the hill.
Lando clings on and let’s out a loud scream. Afterwards he’ll claim that it was a perfectly manly and deep voiced yell, Alex and George will vehemently deny this.
Alex sighs as he has to pick up both the backpacks the group brought with them. He quickly forgets about the weight however, caught between joy and panic as he tries to keep balanced, running to catch up to George and Lando’s pace going down the hill.
After a minute he catches up, and then passes them. With a curse, George has to speed up.
Alex has a feeling when they get to the bottom that everything is going to be alright.