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Keith was an unpredictable guy. It was a blessing and a curse, honestly.
In Lance’s opinion it was more of the former, which explained in part why he was so darn attached to him.
It also explained, from a more strategic standpoint, why he almost always attended Keith’s diplomatic obligations. It wasn’t so much that having a boyfriend calmed Keith down, more that having Lance as a boyfriend meant Keith could indulge in his quiet introverted-ness while he charmed whatever alien big-shots the coalition was trying to get not to shoot people/planets.
Sure, Keith had gotten more grounded over time (being a humanitarian task force leader in a broken, war torn universe would do that to a man) but he was still want to do what Lance liked to call ‘stupid antisocial shit’ from time to time.
And the best way to get him to do said shit was to frustrate him with endless prattling from crowds of politicians who always felt it necessary to share at least one opinion on his being half galra. So Lance would pop in and redirect conversation before a fist fight could start. A happy Keith was a politically appropriate Keith, after all.
They made a good team, simple as that.
Not that any of this was currently of concern, as Keith was off his face drunk.
It was a rare sight. Lance was probably the only person that had ever seen it. He’s not sure if the surrounding plush-bodied lupillians could be counted, as they were just as wrecked as his boyfriend by now.
Personally, Lance would say he was borderline tipsy, if that. Alien biology! You could never really call it. It wouldn’t be the first time Keith’s hybrid-ness had led to some outlandish physical reactions.
So here he was on an alien planet, dwelling in a moss-covered courtyard under a starry night sky and serving as a crutch to his lovely partner-in-diplomacy who was just heavy enough to be making his shoulder numb.
Oh well. At least he was a cute drunk. Well, as cute as a drunk could be. currently he was dozing on his shoulder mumbling incoherently to himself.
With Keith down for the count and the attending planetary natives in a similar position, Lance’s duty was reduced to the occasional polite wave and making sure Keith didn’t fall over. Easy.
In fact, he was probably best to return them to their booked room in the main palace, Snuggling up with Keith sounded good, and lord knew he should get some non-alcoholic fluids into him before he nodded off in full. He was not going to have fun tomorrow morning.
But just as he was visualizing a route back between the crown of swaying, giggly bodies he feels Keith stir.
“...Lance.”
“Yeah sleeping beauty?”
Keith looked dazedly up at him, eyebrows furrowed “where...Where’s the…fuck”
Lance furrowed his own brow “you all right?”
Keith grunted “Need the bathroom…”
Lance tried to catch his eye “do you feel sick? Want to lie down?”
“No, I,” Keith clumsily swatted away Lance’s hand as he tried to feel the temperature of his forehead
“I need to pee.”
“Oh, okay, so Mr.Jelly legs needs me to chaperone him to the bathroom then?”
Keith didn’t smile. In fact he looked kind of...pained?
He let out a short grunt, which was when Lance noticed he’d gone tense. Like, really tense. “‘s too far. I need to go now.”
“It’s not that far, the palace is only-” as Lance spoke his eyes traveled down Keith’s body; following the hard line of his arm down to his waist and to where his hand was clenching at the crotch of his trousers which had a curious little dark patch just on the inside of-”
Oh.
Maybe it was too far.
“Shit, okay, uh…” Lance looked up. Everyone is pretty tipsy at this point and the novelty of the paladin bit wore off a while ago . Nobody was paying much attention to them. It should be pretty easy to sneak off unnoticed.
Looking out beyond the crowd he sees the courtyard diffusing out into a greater lawn and then into some tree cover. It was fairly dark as well, not being reached by the feature lighting of the hub area.
He secured Keith against his waist, covering his accident with himself as well as shifting the gaudy ceremonial skirts they were wearing over his crotch
“just hold it for a moment, okay?”
He didn’t like seeing Keith so uncomfortable, but he really wouldn’t like it if some intoxicated Lupillian snapped a photo of the former black paladin wetting himself at a private function. Not a great look.
As predicted when he shuffles them both through the crowd they are barely acknowledged. It was no small blessing, as the whimpers and grunts Keith let out on the way would give the impression he was being hauled of a battlefield with a broken leg.
-Something Lance has actually done before, so yeah, not an exaggeration.
About halfway to the tree line Keith moaned.
Now, Lance was very familiar with Keith’s repertoire of moans, and that? That was the distinct sound elicited in the last quarter of one of his edging-focused oral sessions.
Hearing it in this context was...jarring. fortunately, Keith didn’t let him dwell on it.
Because his next phrase was worse.
“Lance, please.”
Lance hardens his resolve. No. Not the time. Process these feeling later.
“Keith, nobody can see by now, I’m not going to make fun of you if you piss your pants, okay?”
“No! I’m not going to…I’m not a child.” He grinds out.
There was that stubborn pride, turning up again in the most stupid, unreasonable places. Really, what was a little pants-wetting between partners? There were some people that were into that, even.
…
Not him. But some people.
(…not him though)
“Okay, okay. we’re almos-”
In the dark, Lance stumbles over an exposed root and he manages to grip Keith before his weight can lurch them both to the ground. Keith tenses and makes a short whining sound as he regains himself.
“Shit…”
Lance looks at Keith, who’s looking at his own crotch. The dark patch beneath his clenched hand is more noticeable than before.
Lance berates himself for the jolt that sight send down him. He can feel the telltale tightening in his boxers.
...The fuck was wrong with him? This wasn’t the time or place. His boyfriend was pissing himself and he was getting hard. Fuck, maybe he was getting whatever Keith had from this alien juice.
“Sorry. We’re almost there.”
This was cutting it too close. Before the tree line there’s a small shack. A groundskeeper's shed maybe? In any case it’s dark and secluded, and far away enough that nobody will see or hear them.
Most vitally, it's c loser, so Lance inches their trajectory towards it. Keith doesn’t seem to notice.
The shambling pace down the lawn to the shed seems endless and with each step Keith lets out a sharp wince.
Finally, The sound of stone footfalls signal their arrival on the back porch of the shed, obscured from the sight of nosy aliens.
Lance holds Keith stable in front of the wall and peers in through the window to make sure there wasn’t some hermit still inside. He was relieved to see nothing but a small, dark room with various tool and contraptions scattered about.
“Okay, all clear. Go on.”
Keith obviously doesn’t need his input.
He whines and grapples around his belt region with the hand that isn’t holding back the floodgates. The ceremonial garb they were wearing was pretty inaccessible. In his inebriated state he may as well have been attempting to untangle a wrangled ball of fairy-lights
“Lance” he pleads. His thighs were pressed firmly together and he was rocking his hips in a not-so-subtle manner
-Which was absolutely not pleasing Lance on a hitherto untouched area of his sexual psyche. At all. No siree.
“Just a sec-“ Lance swiftly unlatched the hooks and ornate knot-work that barred access to his zipper. He could feel Keith’s shallow, sharp chest falls against his side as he worked at it. Could hear him whimpering so close to his ear. The sound crackled like static down his spine, straight to his own dick.
Meanwhile, Keith’s liquor-slippery grip was worrying at his normal, non-ceremonial belt and just as he manages to work the buckle free, he tensed and his grip tightened on both the waistband of his trousers and his damp crotch.
“shit” He choked, and Lance looked down to see the dark patch growing rapidly to down his inner thigh; blackening the tight material clenched between them.
Fuck it, Lance thought, and he yanked down the waistband of Keith’s pants and boxers, grabbing the pained, gushing little cock and letting his boyfriend spill freely against the wall.
There was a strange moment of stillness where the only sound was water spattering quietly against stone. The only sensation was Keith breathing sharp against him and clutching at his shoulder for support.
And then…
“Oh, fuck yes”
Keith’s voice lilts and shakes with fervour. He's melting against Lance’s chest, dropping his weight on him like he was a couch and he’d just come home from a long day’s work. The hand that isn't latching to Lance’s shoulder for support trails beneath his shirt and across his abdomen and his hand splays just above where Lance is holding him. The tips of his fingers brush against the dark curls of his pubes.
Keith laughs. Quiet, giddy and breathless and Lance loses a touch more of his sanity.
Apparently Keith was liking not having to aim his own piss.
“Does that feel better?” Lance ventures.
“Yeah….yeah it feels…yeah.”
Keith hummed absently. He adjusted his stance, the curve of his ass brushing against his crotch. Lance pretends he doesn't notice, instead beginning to be alarmed by the sheer amount of liquid coming out of him.
“Shit, man how much did you drink?”
“a lot”
The way Keith laughs the word out and added a jaunty hard ‘T’ to the end would allow nobody to argue that. Still, Lance was mesmerized; watching this endless stream before him, feeling how Keith’s entire body was leaking strain in tandem. Feeling the way his cock twitched and hardened beneath-“
Wait.
No way.
“you really are enjoying this, huh?”
In response, keith chuckles and ruts ever so slightly into his grasp, causing a splatter of wayward piss to splash back onto his fist.
“You are out of control Kogane.” Lance reprimands, though he’s unable to keep the fondness out of his voice.
Keith, his horny little angel. Bless him. He’ll give him a nice long fucking when they get back to their guest room. Assuming he's still conscious, that is.
“Lance?”
Keith’s voice was shy, barely audible over the dwindling (finally) flow.
“hm?”
As he was trying to format his sentence, he was manifesting a slow but sure humping action into his fist.
“…please?”
Lance sighs in exasperation.
This is absurd, even for them. Completely inappropriate and quite possibly some form of illegal on this planet…
But that voice? Begging him like that? He's helpless.
So he began the oh-so familiar action of jerking off his delightful, pain in the ass boyfriends perfect little cock. In public. Behind a shed.
Though honestly, discounting the piss, this wasn’t the first time. They both well versed in the nuances of the different shed’s around the Garrison institute after all. They’d had some real fun in and around sheds.
He’d barely gotten Keith so full hardness before he felt his hand on top of his own, stilling it.
“I want you inside me, Lance”.
Lance blinks. Besides a slight slurring towards the end it sounds almost sober. Hugely ironic, given it was the most risqué thing he’d said so far.
And Lance, who’s own dick is now weeping within his boxers, thinks it’s a fucking stellar idea.
…But….
“You’re not just saying that because you’re drunk are you?”
“No. I love you. Love feeling you in me. That’s’all.
And because Lance has a soul and a blitzing hardon he acquiesces.
He shuffles Keith’s pants down until they pool above his knees, exposing the glorious pale-flushed-pink expanse of his ass and thighs.
He draws his hand across his cheeks and gives them a light squeeze before parting them and sliding two fingers to his rim. He’s barely made contact when Keith let’s out an unhappy grunt.
“What?” Lance asks
Keith shakes his head “front.”
Lance narrows his eyes “I don’t have condoms on me.”
“S’fine”
“It’s not ‘fine’”
“It is fine.”
“Keith, so help me if I have to remember this moment every time I look into our child’s eyes…”
“Doctor says I won’t be fertile for like…another ten years…s’fine”
Lance sighs, helpless to his boyfriend and the urgent pulsing of his cock, overjoyed at the prospect of being shoved somewhere warm, wet and inside Keith.
Lance moves his hand downwards towards Keith’s – admittedly very hypnotizing- pussy. The shine of the moonlight tells him at a glance how wet he is already and it’s bright enough that he can still make out the pale lavender and deep magenta of his folds.
-Bless whatever cosmic force bestowed upon him this alien-hybrid treasure. Weak bladder and all.
He sinks two fingers in fluidly and the silken heat of it has his cock twitching as his other hand worked at his own belt.
Lance peeks past the shed’s corner and satisfied the party goers were still wrapped up in their jolly stupor, frees himself from the stiff formal trousers.
He takes a moment to adjust to the air against his exposed skin- the chill along where the precome has seeped from the head of his cock and down his shaft.
Keith is bracing against the wall, back arched and his glorious ass bucked towards him. Through his sturdy thighs he can see the dark stain of piss against the stone in front of him and the puddle still spreading outwards below. peering around Keith’s waist he spies his cock, standing eager and dripping with fluid too viscous to be piss.
Lance strokes himself a few times spreading the precome collecting around his own foreskin. Keith looks pretty wet, but when lube wasn’t on the cards every bit helped. He guides himself to Keith’s folds and slowly slides the underside of his shaft along the crease of his pussy, spreading the slick and teasing Keith in the way he knows sends him mad.
“Ready?”
“nhhggg…”
Lance takes that as a yes.
His cock slides into molten warmth and, as usual, his mind blips out of reality for a brief moment.
Keith meets him with enthusiasm, letting out a muted moan as he clenches around him. Lance lets him adjust, taking in the sensation himself.
After a beat Keith huffs lightly “I think you get bigger every time y’know…”
“You already got me inside you sweetheart, you can stop with the flattery.”
‘s’true though. S’perfect…”
Lance rolls his eyes fondly. Keith is well and truly out of it, but it was still sweet to hear.
A steady rhythm forms between them; Lance holding him securely by the waist; a means of pounding leverage as well as keeping Keith upright
As the sensations start to raise in intensity Keith let out a contented breath and seconds later, heard the familiar sound of water against stone.
Lance looked down to see that, sure enough, a steady stream was flowing from Keith. Not as urgent as before but hardly inconspicuous.
“God, is there a black hole where your bladder should be?”
“Hm…”
If Lance isn’t mistaken Keith sounds almost proud.
Though he’s got to admit, he is kind of impressed.
“Lance, you…hand…”
He’s fucked Keith enough times by now to know the translation of that breathless babble. He reaches one hand forward to enclose Keith’s cock, giving it a gentle, reassuring squeeze and begin to give it short strokes in time with his thrusts.
Even now, tipsy and scandalous, Lance marvels the feel of Keith’s little cock in his hands. It fits in his palm like he was custom molded for it. When it was hard like this the pink tip would peek out of his grip with each pull, the friction of the tight foreskin creating a drag that looked amazing.
It is a familiar gesture. The piss spraying? Not so much. He feels the pulsations in Keith’s shaft as the stream flows and staggers. He’s pissed with a hardon before, too. It wasn’t exactly easy and quite frankly Keith’s dick was doing an enviable job.
“Fuck…feels so good, Lance.” The look on Keith’s face was angelic: flushed cheeks, parted lips curved into a genuine smile. On every other exhale he’d let out the ghost of a laugh.
Fuck, what was happening? Was this a galra thing? Did they have piss triggered orgasms or something, or was Keith just this kinky? Apparently he was because damn this is doing things to him.
Keith’s sex-drunk (and actually drunk) joy infects him. He nuzzles into his neck, landing hot-mouthed kisses and nips, sending Keith into a fit of snorts and giggles that quickly turn into groans when Lance set a more intense pace. With each pound, Keith lets out a spurt of piss; painting the wall with erratic dark patches.
There’s something about watching Keith like this- dishevelled, limp limbed and euphoric, short ponytail bouncing with his thrusts and loose strands of hair stark against his flushed nape. The image was digging at something deep in his gut and setting his mind on fire. He feels all at once filthy and glorious.
Maybe it’s The drinks or another one of Keith’s surprise surfacing alien traits. Pheromones or something. Maybe he’s just nasty at his core. Whatever the reason, he’s helpless not to indulge it.
And lucky for him, Keith doesn’t seem to mind either.
Seeing Keith so fucking wrecked and ecstatic was pushing him to the brink. He figured it was time to pull Keith there with him.
Lance jerked back Keith’s foreskin and thumbed ruthlessly over the blazing pink head of his cock, smearing it with precome and eliciting another jet of piss; the warmth of which trickled down his hand.
“You like making a mess Kogane? Marking your territory?” Lance’s voice was ragged from his own exertion. He knew Keith loved it like that. “who’s going to clean all this up after you?”
Keith half expected Keith to laugh at that, but instead he lets out a deep, gut-wrenching moan.
Even better.
“You’d better keep quiet. Wouldn’t want someone seeing…Or maybe you would? You want people to see me wreck you like this? Make you lose control of your body?”
Keith’s responding moan was ambivalent on the matter but the words definitely weren’t doing anything to curb his enthusiasm.
“Lance, you have no f-fucking idea how good you feel. You’re so big…fit me so well…”
Lance’s mouth stretches into a smile around his increasingly urgent panting. Keith could barely string a sentence together. Not that Lance was obsessed with his size or anything, but knowing his dick did these things to Keith was pleasing on a such a primal level that he couldn’t help but revel in the pride.
And speaking of cocks…
Keith’s was hot and twitching in his palm; piss now dribbling out with every other thrust; more devoted to dripping precum now that his bladder was sufficiently drained.
“Love seeing that pretty little cock of yours at work. Why don’t you show me what else it can do?”
“Fuck, Lance…” Keith chokes, biting down on a growl and bucking his hips into Lance’s fist with brutal urgency.
“Let out that pretty mess for me, Keith.”
Keith’s rhythm stuttered and he let out a deep moan into Lance’s shoulder. His cum splattered against the wall, in the center of the dark stains he made prior.
Seeing that, Lance was done.
He comes deep within Keith, with and grunt and through clenched teeth. Keith’s silky walls clench around him with a ferocity that Lance is sure isn't human, holding him fast and pulling at him greedily.
They both let their panting fill the void. For a little while Lance simply peered upwards at the alien night sky. Tracing unknown stars and listening to the night ambience around them.
after a brief few breathing cycles he leans forward and gives Keith his customary post-coital kiss on the cheek as he moves to pull out.
“Stay inside?” Keith whispered
As much as Lance felt a cosmic sense of peace being buried to the hilt in his boyfriend’s miraculous alien pussy, this was hardly the time or place. Also, he was sensing his own need for a less carnal release building low in his abdomen
He’d drank a lot too. It didn’t help that he’d basically just watched a waterfall in action.
“We’re still in public.”
“nobody’s going to see.” Keith sighs, pushing back on his sated cock in a very calming way.
“Okay, but I kind of need to pee now, so…”
“so?”
“So , I can’t piss while my dick is inside you.”
There’s a pause after Lance speaks, filled only by the crooning of nocturnal critters in the surrounding forests. It lasts just long enough to grow a film of tension.
“…Why not?”
Lance freezes. Keith avoids his gaze.
The question sounds unsure, almost shy. Keith had given him concussions in sparring sessions less disorienting.
“I…um…”
Fortunately for him his apparently-not-so-sated cock answers without hesitation, giving an excited little twitch in its cosy residence.
From Lance’s angle he can just see the upward twitch of the corner of Keith’s mouth.
“Let go inside me again. I want to feel it.” another grind back against him. He sighs and leans forward, once again bracing his arms against the wall “please.”
The quiet plea may as well be a taser shot. Lance can feel the heat rising to his face. Feel his heartbeat accelerate. Oh god, this was…It was…Phew.
But how could he refuse Keith, of all people?
“Uh huh.” Lance says intelligently
Keith smiles, and he turned back to face the wall Lance feels a cheeky clench around his cock.
Go ahead, sharpshooter
And so Lance does.
…
At least, he tries to.
He stands burrowed in Keith. Sweet, sexy, kinky Keith who is patiently waiting for him to enact whatever craven fantasy he’s chasing. The fantasy Lance would really, really love to give him…
But not a drop comes out.
It was like his body had forgotten how to piss, which is ridiculous because he was just given an outstanding demonstration. His bladder has just out and abandoned him in his time of need. Sure, he’s hard, but even then he can usually get out something.
Lance looks down to see his cum seeping from the seal between his cock and Keith’s folds, some mixing with his slick and running down to his not-as-alien balls. Fuck, that was hot.
“Lance?”
“Just give me a moment.”
Keith patiently rests his head against his braced arms.
Lance looks down again, trying to imagine what it would look like. How lewd it would be. How lewd it would sound. What it would feel like to flood Keith’s cosy warmth with his piss as the mounting discomfort in his abdomen drained…
A squirt leaves him and Keith clenches almost reflexively. He practically wiggles his ass in approval.
“That’s it, let it out.”
“Fuck me…” Lance gasps. The sensation...Keith’s Husky encouragement…It was a lot.
“Later. -Want you to fill me now.”
Lance’s head swims. He really hadn’t planned on this when he lead Keith down to the back of a shed to prevent him wetting himself publicly. Another one of the universes capricious tricks. But he’s nothing if not adaptive at this point.
He let himself slide back into the visualizations, readjusting his stance so he was more relaxed.
Another squirt, then another. Then, after an encouraging squeeze and sigh from Keith, the gates flew open.
Before Lance can even open his mouth to articulate the sheer sensory catapult he’s entered Keith beats him to it
“Fuck yeah, just like that Lance”
Lance…Well lance just kind of laughs. Quiet and breathless
Because what the fuck else was he going to do?
The sound of his own piss splattering on the ground as he -relieved himself inside his fucking boyfriend what the fuck- was obscene in the most wickedly pleasing way. Better yet was the way said boyfriend was writhing on the end of his cock. He could see tension in his shoulders as he jerked himself off, huffing out raspy affirmations and encouragement for him to keep going.
(Like he could stop at this point if he wanted to.)
He knows he’s going to be hard again soon. He thinks the only reason he’s not already is because of sheer sensory overload.
Because fuck. This image…This feeling.
This is a door they’ve opened that he is not going to close again.
But for now, as is his constant prerogative, Keith comes first.
Lance sucks and nips at the junction of Keith’s neck, just above his shirt collar. One hand comes up and under said shirt brushing against a pert nipple. The other hand teasing his rim with slight dips and massages.
The noises Keith is making stray into non-human territory. Low and rich and easily making the top three of his favorite sounds in the universe.
This whole thing feels kind of inhuman. Not in a bad way; more of a ‘I can’t believe I’ve transcended to this state of being but I never want to go back’ kind of way.
Lance’s stream is slowing now, and Keith looks on the precipice. The smallest nudge should be enough.
He gave Keith's ass a firm squeeze
“You going to let go for me one more time, love?”
“ngh!”
That did it.
Keith’s release once again dappled the dark stone, and Lance once again marveled at how much could come out of that little alien cock. He honestly didn’t know where these fluids where being stored.
As Keith came down from his high, his gasps slowing the heavy breaths and adrenaline leaching from his legs.
Lance reached around and grasped Keith’s softening dick, giving it an adoring stroke “All done? Can I put my pants back on?”
Keith laughed weakly. Even drunk, he seems a little bashful of what had gone down now that some of his senses were returning.
Lance pulls out and their mixed releases dribblle after him. As he suspected he’s not completely soft, but Keith doesn’t notice as he leads him to sit on a rock a few feet away, tells him to pull his pants up and collects/ salvages their abandoned clothes.
Lance’s entire front is drenched from his own release. Worse than Keith’s, as it turns out which was ironic to the point that he really should have seen it coming. ‘Capricious universe’ and all that.
Fortunately their ceremonial skirts were still inconspicuous, and with a little fiddling Lance manages to get both of them looking superficially respectable.
The way back was blessedly undisturbed. At this point a lot of the lupillians have straight up passed out and are being nudged into comfortable sleeping positions by their barely-conscious buddies.
Their only interruption is a palace security guard, to whom Lance explains that his friend ‘drank too much’ and needs to rest.
Keith nudges him weakly in the side for that.
When they made it back to their reserved quarters, they washed up together
Lance momentarily panics when Keith drops to his knees before he realizes it was to wrap his mouth around his semi-hard cock; quickly goading it to near-rigidness- because what Keith lacks in verbal graces his tongue more than makes up for in blow jobs.
Afterwards when they are both spent and dozy, Keith opts to spoon Lance for once (damn, he must have loved that piss thing) under the alien fleece blankets. As Lance drifts off to the sound of him muttering half-asleep about the Lupillian report formatting to nobody in particular, he succumbs with one last thought.
Damn he loves his weird, kinky boyfriend.