Archive of Our Own ^beta

"Gentlemen," Radical Centrist began, "I assume you know why I called this meeting, assuming you actually absorbed any information among your bickering during the last one."

Horseshoe Centrist knew, of course, though her only input through the last meeting had been remarking on how everything was the same. She doubted anyone would care if she provided actual input, as they didn't care to notice her genius (idiocy) normally, so she figured there was no difference between trying and not.

"Tch, yeah," Political Nihilist said, "You were making some 'anti-centrist' threat out to be way bigger than it really is and being a dramatic dipshit."

"It's not being dramatic, it's a legitimate extreme threat---"

"OI!" Anti-Radical shouted, brandishing his knife, before sheepishly lowering it and mumbling an apology.

"...Anyways, look, we need to think of measures we can take to protect ourselves against the extremists. That's why I brought you here. Now, does anyone have any ideas?" Radcen questioned.

"Hmm, well, uh, maybe if we just don't think about it, the problem will go away? And the extremists just won't do anything?" Moderate Lee suggested, tapping anxiously on his Overton window.

"That's not going to work, Moderate...Moderate Lee," Radical Centrist said, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Anyone else?"

"Tch. Maybe if Horseshoe stays outside and plays that stupid country music 24/7 the extremists will be annoyed into leaving," Nihilist remarked.

Horseshoe rolled her eyes and replied, "Welp, the way I see it, there's literally no difference between me playing my 'stupid' country music and you playing your stupid emo music!"

"Sure, whatever, my edginess will scare them off anyways," Nihilist shrugged.

Moderate Lee nervously clutched his Overton window as he spoke up, "I don't mean to be rude but I kinda maybe think you aren't very threatening, but that's just my opinion haha..." he trailed off as he ducked behind his window.

"Yeah, you're like a two on an intimidating-ness scale from one to extremists," Anti-Radical interjected, causing some other centrists (including Horseshoe) to chuckle).

Nihilist snarled, then sighed, "Fuck, fine , I don't care anyways. Tch."

"Chin up, partner," Horseshoe smiled reassuringly at Nihilist, "There's literally no difference between being intimidating and not intimidating!"

Nihilist didn't say anything in response to that, he just went back to glaring at his phone, still grumbling under his breath. Whatever, Horseshoe didn't see any difference between responding and not anyways.

"...Okay, is everyone done making fun of each other, can we get back to the point now?" Radical Centrist asked, "Ape-Political, do you have any ideas?"

As was expected, Ape-Political simply made ape noises in response, which Horseshoe was able to easily translate into "I don't know or care," as she didn't see any difference between any language. She considered translating it for him, but she had a feeling Radical Centrist wouldn't care, so she kept her mouth shut. There was no difference between saying something and not.

Radical Centrist sighed. "I don't know why I even bothered to ask you. But I have some ideas. I was thinking we could set up some security cameras around to keep an eye on them," Radical Centrist suggested.

Horseshoe tensed and felt a chill run through her at those words. She wasn't supposed to mind what the others did, there was no difference, but the thought of having to watch cameras got her thinking back to her INGSOC days, when she'd stay up watching the citizens on the cameras, scared as to what would happen if she fell asleep because she had to keep serving The Party, as The Party told her that exhaustion was energy, just like she now thought similar things to herself via her horseshoe theory---stop that. Stop that. Those aren't the same thing, if there's a difference between anything, it's centrists and extremists, especially off-compass ones.

As Horseshoe got lost in thought, trying to prevent her thoughts from spiraling completely out of control, she heard Anti-Radical yelling about the idea and then heard him run out. She hadn't quite been processing what he had been saying but she knew why he was upset. She needed to go, there was no difference between her being present at these meetings and not anyways.

"Horseshoe Centrist."

Horseshoe's gaze snapped away from the direction of the voice, then she corrected herself and looked towards Radical Centrist. "What?"

"I assume you see no difference between installing security cameras and not installing them, right?"

Fuck she was supposed to think that and she was messing up, fuck, oh no, "Yes there's literally...no differ-no diff...there's no, between me staying at this meeting and, leaving!"

With that, Horseshoe got out of her seat and ran off, not knowing where to, nor did it make a difference. She heard someone wondering what was up with her, but she just needed to get away, she didn't care where, she needed to hide.

She passed by a room with noises of things being broken and pushed around, loud cursing accompanying this. It was Anti-Radical's voice, he was upset, she needed to protect him dammit, it made no difference whether she was upset or not!

...She had to open the door, or she could not do that and it would make no difference, because nothing made a difference ever and no matter how hard she tried she and Anti would never escape, and everyone loved her hated her so powerful but can't open a door, just sits down in front of it alternating between messing with her mustache and putting her hands over her ears, what she doing where is she she's there again they're installing cameras and she's there again and trapped and slavery is freedom the same no difference everything is she's going to be sent to 101 if she keeps this uselessness up fuck breathing not breathing all the same all the same run away, she was trying to scramble away---

Horseshoe slipped and fell on a shirt, Moderate Lee's shirt, Moderate Lee got like this sometimes, what did she say to him, name things that you could see? Or don't? Or do? What can she see? Lee's shirt, a door, another door, the doorknob of that door, the inside of Nihilist's room, skull decorations, hoodie on the floor, made or unmade bed, CD rack, was there another part?

Name things she could hear. The noises inside the room oh god she needed to handle---Ape-Political having a particularly quiet outburst, the air conditioner, someone was starting to mow the lawn, other part?

Name things she could feel. Lee's shirt again, her long mustache, she reached down or up and touched her cowboy hat, she could feel the floor under her.

Name things she could smell. The shirt again, the air freshener Radical Centrist used.

Name things she could taste. Well, there was no difference between doing that last part and not, she had nothing in her mouth. She had to help Anti-Radical, she steadily or shakily got up and went through the door without opening it, there was no difference between there being a door and not, even if it hurt a little.

Horseshoe was immediately met with a pillow to the face and a "FUCK OFF! FUCK OFF OR I'LL GUT YOU LI-I'LL GUT, I'll gut you like," Anti-Radical wasn't able to finish the sentence without gasping for air and punching at his bed again. Horseshoe couldn't help jumping, afraid, but she did her best to stay there. Her emotions made no difference, Anti-Radical's mattered.

Horseshoe put on a calm voice and spoke, "It makes no difference whether you gut me or not, I-I just want to help you."

"NO, THEY'RE GOING TO, YOU CAN'T, FUCKING, EXTREME," his voice broke, and he collapsed into a heap on his bed, punching a pillow and whimpering.

Horseshoe simply walked over and sat by Anti-Radical, extending a hand, which he took. "Can you name things you can see?"

Anti-Radical snarled, his eyes shut, "EXTREMISTS, OUT FOR BLOOD, GONNA FUCKING, I GOTTA, GUT, I---"

"Hey! There are no extremists here! It's just you and me in this room, no extremists, no cameras, no danger, you're safe here. You're safe here," she spoke deliberately, trying not to get caught up in there being no difference between anything, because she knew that made it tougher to grip onto reality.

"...Just you and me here?"

"No one watching. Just us."

Anti-Radical opened his eyes and stared at Horseshoe, looking her over, but he still looked afraid.

"Can you try again, name things you can see?" Horseshoe asked.

"...You, the closet, my fishing rod, the blanket, things I threw because I just keep destroying things and putting people in---"

"Stop," Horseshoe cut in, "There's literally no difference between destroying everything and nothing. Can you name things you can hear?"

"Well," Anti-Radical started, "You, the neighbor's lawnmower, arguing from downstairs, uhh..."

Horseshoe's phone started going off in her pocket suddenly, and she pulled it out to turn it off.

"...Your phone alarm, what was that about?"

"Oh, sorry, that was my morning alarm, but if you think about it there's no difference between an alarm going off and not!" HorseCent shrugged.

"...What time is it?"

She checked her phone, "4 P.M."

Anti-Radical stared, before shaking his head. "I-, s-sure, why not?"

"Can you name things you can feel now?"

"...Your hand, the blanket...I, fuck, I don't,"

"It's okay," Horseshoe reassured, "It makes no difference how many things you name. Things you can smell?"

"...The smell of lawnmower and, yeah."

Horseshoe smiled at Anti-Radical. "You didn't it! Did it! I don't know!"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm still not going back to those fuckers, not when they're talking about...that. I'm not letting them."

Horseshoe shuddered at the mention of what had started this, the cameras. "Well, the, the way I see it, there's no difference between going back and staying here."

"Hmph...whatever, can I have a hug?" Anti-Rad asked.

Horseshoe nodded and layed down next to Anti-Radical, wrapping her arms around him. Maybe this wasn't exactly what was asked, but it made no difference, and Anti-Rad was reciprocating it, so it was close enough.

As Anti-Radical began to relax in Horseshoe's arms, her mind wandered back to The Party. She didn't really think the extremists were a threat, but she hated and feared The Party and any other off-compass ideologies more than anything, just thinking about them was making her tense up again, but she would go back to them in a heartbeat if it meant Anti-Radical didn't have to suffer like this because of them anymore. His pain, any centrist's pain, made all the difference to her, she would give up anything to keep them safe.

As Horseshoe held Anti-Rad closer and tighter, she made a vow to herself. If the extremists did turn out to be some sort of threat, she would absolutely not let them lay a finger on Anti-Radical, or anyone else. She could take them easily, they were no threat, but just in case there was no difference between being a threat and not, Horseshoe would never let the extremists do what The Party had done. Not while she was there.